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rrat-king · 4 months

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bad guys headcanons?????

or alternatively, bad kids queerness headcanons 👀👀

ok i only have one bad guys headcannon and it comes from me like, incredibly misunderstanding the kalina thing the first time that listened through sophmore year

kalina was apart of sandra lynn's adventuring party before she went to work with pok and thats why sandra lynn could see her (this totally does not work with story cannon but was what i thought actually happened for like, a month before i went back and relistened cuz uh. i got very confused)

bad kids queer headcannons!!

ok sweet kristen is of course a lesbian and i stand by the fact that she is butch(talk to me about stone butch kristen i have thoughts). for sure polyamorous. if you ask her her gender, she will just say lesbian. fine with all pronouns but mostly uses she/her

so i know most people have fig as bi or pan(i even tend to draw her with bi pride shit) but i personally headcannon her as unlabeled. shes very against the system and i dont think she would be into labels as a whole thing just cuz it feels too limiting. she loves who she loves and its no one elses buisness. also poly. i dont have any strong headcannons about figs gender just that anyones interpretation of her is correct to me.

riz is aro/ace. its cannon so i vibe with it. i vibe with cis riz and ftm riz i just feel like he for sure is like. dude to the max. no matter what he is like. all dude all man. like spiderman.

adaine is an asexual lesbian. totally not based off of my best friend who is an asexual lesbian and incredibly adaine coded. for gender i think of her as agender with she/its pronouns mostly because of @20dimensionsoftangerine's properties of fics

fabian is bisexual but in the closet. not because of like internalized homophobia or toxic masculinity(which is dead now) but more because he doesn't realize that not everyone thinks of guys as inherently attractive and appealing. Once he figures it out he will be incredibly annoying about it but so is his right. he's cis and does drag sometimes

gorgug is pan and poly. gender fluid. uses all pronouns. all i know is that i love him

#thank you for the asks!!!!#(i have a crack ship that is just poly/queer platonic bad girls)#i also fuck with poly sig figs and partners relationship #i am. full of thoughts.#fantasy high hc’s #fantasy high headcannons #fantasy high #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #adaine abernant #fig faeth #riz gukgak #gorgug thistlespring #fabian seacaster #d20 #bird answers

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listlessnessss · 3 months

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i don’t always get political w it because i do feel like questions of desire and legitimacy pollute the logistics, i’m not about to beg trutrans (that now is taken to mean ‘no longer pretrans/repressed’, btw) people for things when i need to be a better “cis”ally to them, and i’m only sorting out desire and legitimacy. i understand how politically and personally offputting i can be, as a concept, to actual trans ppl. yet of course those desires are deeply political in nature, but i don’t see how politics can be just this stand-in for desire that alludes to desire when transmasculine desire is a thing that doesn’t yet exist politically because it’s denied/dismissed as something else or actively derided as the purview of [some kind of privilege]. i was a tiktok theyfab in 2020-22 and often saw people’s transmasculine desire dissected apart down to each of its components and exposed for how fucked up their desires are, all the things (fatphobic, racist, a white-woman fragility moment, homophobic, transmisogynistic) but the thing is, i don’t even think that *all* of those critiques are unwarranted, but one is left to wonder… since i assume everyone “in my orbit”(that’s what it’s called, i think, lmao) on here is at least tertiarily involved with the project of creating a coherent if-and-only-if, divergent-not-convergent, transmasculine sense of meaning/narrative where one is severely lacking or entirely absent (think: why is there no ftm whipping girl? and take it as a challenge) without being this logical so-as-follows ‘mirror counterpart’ to transfemininity NOR incredibly butch cis women, because those sets of comparisons are bound in many important ways to be false, to not apply. this is where the TQ complaint of ‘erasure’ is a real thing, even if 14 y/o’s feeling invalidated in the moment don’t exactly articulate its further implications very well. my point is/was when i was deep in tiktok theyfabbery, is a perfect feminist politic a mandatory prerequisite to creating such a narrative? (think about the particular moral mandate along the lines of ‘being a man is about respecting women’: yes, yes absolutely you need to, but without it, does one cease to be a man? or are you now this empty, voided, “masc-not-butch” “nonbinary is just a negation, it’s not a thing” person having your white woman moments, having your cake and eating it too) everyone agrees that the edgy teenage phase of many newer trans people is offputting and uncanny, albeit necessary for growth and development, but i do wonder if coming out the other end of transmasculinity therefore becomes this careful disavowal, deliberately manufactured to be apolitical and uncontroversial, and if political, aligned with feminism the way lesbians are. i also find the tMRA shit, (MRAshit wrapped in a toothpaste flag) to be weird and offputting and not ideal politically and evidence of a total unawareness of how one is perceived. thinking about that tweet that said “it is not up to ftms to fix masculinity, go to the gym lol” and if you want, you should, you can, but an implication is that by virtue of who we are and what we want, we are particularly ill-equipped to be able to simultaneously take it seriously wrt ourselves while also being capable of meaningfully contributing to philosophy, discourse, (culture) politics without leaving ourselves behind in some way. if that’s not the other classic TQ complaint of “infantilization”, then i’m not sure what is. it’s put up or shut up, and if you knew me, you’d find that i shut up in real life, as is ideal while i’m in a proto- state and still politically uncanny and incoherent. while i myself am a gaymaxxer(my cope is that i’m in part like this because i’m gay-male-ideated not because i WNBAM),

i found that i became far more robustly left wing and feminist and all that once i stopped trying to think about myself as a cis woman, once i listened to disk horse on “toxic masculinity” and “male loneliness epidemic” shit, i see some breadtuber spaces as having struggled with creating a similar meaning/story for cis men that isn’t just anti-woman. i also heard there that pre-leftist cis men were afraid of, but had to make peace with, the supposed threat that transfemininity posed to the security of their gender identity and expression, and of those who remain men, some get to realize that they’re queer. I heard quite deep and meaningful comparisons made between cis women’s and trans women’s lives and struggles for meaning. the matrix style gender theory, “fuck gender, be a woman”, was all of our redpill, however hard to swallow. but of nobody’s fault but my own, i was at this time beginning to not internally identify as a woman, and realized that there’s no such thing as a transmasculine redpill. still no story, still no sense of meaning, still I should learn to feel/be the butch or be like the other girls and okay with that, a thing i’m just not and never was. transmasculine desire is still shameful and unspeakable as is the opposite in any other part of life and the political landscape—

i can identify this problem, yes, but i’m not smart enough nor in real life enough nor materially affected enough to be an ideal candidate to begin to create the solution, but i think the boy hypno content is a step in the right direction, for sure, though there may yet be unforeseen social/political consequences.

#TQ brainrot #blogpost #ftm repressor #and here i am acting like a TQ on tumblr for the first time as a 20something who thought tumblr was dumb when i was a teenager

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figthefruitfaeth · 11 months

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Hi 🤗 6, 8, & 23 for the fic ask game if you like!

Hiiiiii !! Welcome welcome, nice to have you here take a seat 🍄🫖✨

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

I’m not a big rereader/watcher or anything, so I don’t reread toooo many fics unless I forgot what happened, but I’ll share these two fics I’ve read recently that I’ve really enjoyed (I have also been pretty busy last two weeks so not as many reccs)

Anyway, It’s About Old Friends - @fragilecapric0rnn a steddie when Harry met Sally AU I adore! Great take on the story and feels very in line with WHMS as well as being it’s own thing

this text fic - I’m not a big kid fic person but this is SO cute and made me a believer even if just for a day

8. What projects) are you currently working on?

URGH so the active WIPs technically total 11/12 (this means ideas I have at least a few paragraphs for) but if we’re just going off of things I’m thinking about and generally working towards daily—4

beanie baby fic - my beloved <3 Steve dealing with the loss of his mom through a growing obsession with beanie babies. It started as a fun crack idea and then the angst and the grief spilled through and now I’m here sobbing over nip the cat listening to ‘should’ve known better’ by sufjan stevens

your name - part two of the Nancy xfiles series, following Nancy and robin on a case to find someone breaking into secure FBI sites and stealing information. very dusty roads and cracked skin, an empty diner in the desert and the strange version of yourself looking back through the rear view mirror vibes

comphet nancy - she is my manifesto and also my biggest struggle. 90s nancy moves to Chicago to be with her friends and ends up falling head over heels for soft butch robin, and also figuring out she’s a lesbian, in that order. “What about Steve and Jonathan” right well going for the most popular conventionally attractive boy and then immediately jumping to the one you have a trauma bond with -> gay. The fic deals with the toxic cycle that comes with not knowing what you want, and trying very hard to fill that void. very ‘women are people with hearts and minds…but god I’m so lonely’ and ‘hunger’ by F+TM and pretty much any mitski song ever (but especially nobody & love me more)

radio host!eddie - the latest work! This is technically still in the planning phase, or just about to exit it—basically community college au with frenemies to FWB to lovers steddie, with emo metal head loser radio host Eddie and Mariah Carey diehard lost in life and love Steve ( @fragilecapric0rnn instrumental in developing his musical sensibilities). Its got some sleepless in Seattle vibes, it’s got some Community vibes (six seasons and a MOVIE!), it’s got some classic romcom angst vibes. It’s gonna be a multichap fic (11chapter rn?) and I am soooo excited about it, especially the chapter around ‘sugar we’re going down’ by fob which is partly what helped develop the fic into what it is (by that I mean long as fuck) special thanks to @kkpwnall who endured every flipflopping version and will probably endure more

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?

At the moment I don’t really have a specific plan as to when I end a chapter, I just do what feels right, gut instinct. Technically every chapter should have its own arc, and together they create the overarching arc of the story, so I’m probably just following that even if I’m not actively thinking about it during the planning process! Though I will say I’ve only got one multichap work published (mail murder I’m coming back to you…one day) and others planned so, check back in a few months and see what I say then kekeke

fic writer asks

#ask game #thanks man! giving you a big hug

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athena5898 · 8 months

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In the last few years, people have started calling me strong, which is just a wild concept for me. I guess it would be one thing if it was "Oh, you are strong because you keep going despite everything in a way that anyone can achieve" but it's not, it's more... ethereal. Like whatever "strength" I have is this weird thing that I just possess, like I was granted this by some unknowable force. "Oh, you are so strong!" But it reads "You are so special, you have something I don't have, I wish I could have that". In this way, I am and will never be "strong". My strength to continue, to finally speak out, to be myself, these things were not things I was born with. I had to find these things, I had to work to be able to do these things AND I still struggle and work towards being the best version of myself.

I'm an AuDHD Demi/grey nonbinary butch lesbian born in a small town in Oklahoma with a right-wing family that listens to Fox News like gospel. I have had some very dumbass bullshit opinions. I also have had so many health problems trying to force myself to comply with a society that wasn't built for me.

Having strength isn't some unknowable thing, it's just a matter of finding yourself and staying true to yourself. Also, the real secret is finding your people. I would not be who I am without the people in my life who have given me the space and support to become who I am today. That is probably the sad part of it. Not everyone has that, and some people never get to the point where they understand that just because they don't have it now, doesn't mean they can't find it.

I think that's where another frustration with the ethereal strength mindset comes from. Some people think since I'm "strong" I don't need people, or mistake parts of me as a loner (I am autistic after all) I struggle with trust issues, fear, sadness anything and everything that anyone else does. I'm just glad that I have someone in my life who doesn't expect me to adhere to this mythical idea of strength and supports me when I need it.

You think we'd learn from toxic masculinity by now. Real strength isn't being some macho person who doesn't cry and can take shit without blinking or whatever action movie hero bullshit hegemony someone is thinking about. It's letting people in your life after being burned before. It's being the best authentic you that you can be despite capitalism and fascism telling you it's wrong. It's just as much relying upon others when you need it, as it is being there for others when they need your help. It's showing up despite being scared. It's being there even if you are not good with words, but just offering your support. It's just as much crying cause bad shit is happening to people you've never met as it is punching nazis.

Anyone can be strong if given the chance.

#blog #butch #lgbtqplus #autism #strength #it's weird to be called strong sometimes #random thoughts #my thoughts

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just-give-me-half-a-cup · 4 years

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Newsies Pride Pt.2

So this one is going to focus more on individual people, and their sexualities, enjoy :)

Jack

So this boy is bi

And he is so proud of it

Like he would just walk up to random people on the street and tell them if Davey wasn't so embarrassed by it

It is pretty much one of the first things he says when making friends

He also has so many flags, because he feels the need to get another one every single year

Jack discovered his sexuality when he was like thirteen

He was told by loads of people he was too young to know

But Jack didn't listen to them, he did know, and idiots weren't going to stop him loving people

Medda was always super supportive and took him to his first pride aged fourteen

She painted his face for him the first year

After that he did it himself, levelling up in extraness? each year

He loves pride so much, and wants all of his friends to enjoy it as much as he does

Crutchie

Okay so Crutchie is asexual

He was super embarrassed at first, as he didn't know anyone else that felt that way

He met a few people online who understood him, and that changed his life so much

He is pretty open about it, and helps a load of people understand themselves

Including Davey, which is their secret

He's also biromantic

This is something he's known for ages

He just loves people, and has always loved men and women in the same way

Crutchie didn't go to pride until he was nineteen

Jack dragged him along, painting some little hearts in the ace colours on his cheek

He's not a big flag guy, just has a little one on a stick

And he met his now best friend, so pride is even more special for him now

Davey

Davey is also asexual

Crutchie helped him accept that part of himself

He's still a little insecure sometimes, but that's mainly his anxiety

He's also gay

Something he pegged pretty late

He always thought it was being busy with school that meant he was never interested in girls

Nope, turns out he likes boys

He told Sarah straight away, after he and Jack had got together

She is super supportive of him, Les is too

Davey and Sarah went to their first pride aged seventeen

Both covered head to toe in glitter and stuff showing their sexuality

It's surprisingly the one place he doesn't feel anxious, despite the whole event being based around loads of his anxieties

He just feels happy to be himself, and feel so accepted

Katherine

Also very bisexual

And proud of it

She has loads of little pin badges and bracelets

Because they make her happy

And even if it's tiny she always has something on her, because it's such a big part of who she is

Kath is head over heels in love with Sarah, who is her first relationship with a female

Like can't form a coherent sentence kind of in love

They went to Kath's first pride together

When she was nineteen and Kath absolutely loved it

She felt like she'd found her people, and now goes to every celebration she can find near her

Kath comes home with a million and one stickers that go on a wall by her pride flag

It's a really big flag, and she loves it

Sarah

A lesbian

And always has been

Never had any interest in boys, mainly because she played with them and always saw them in friend terms

A tomboy kind of kid, stole Davey's clothes all the time

Still does

Definitely gives off more butch lesbian vibes

Because damn this girl can and will fight

Taking Davey to pride is one of the highlights of her life

That and meeting Kath

She took one look at the idiot stumbling over her words, and was like 'yes, I want that one'

The flirty type, and very good at it

Every pride she is always decked out, because it's part of the experience

She also collects stickers on her body because she can

Race

Genderqueer

Prefers they/them pronouns

But doesn't really care about it if people don't call him by his preferred pronouns, he has no real attachment to them

Loves skirts and dresses, and is super talented at make up

Let's be real they are the definition of a gay twink, but is actually pansexual

More towards men, but has yet to rule anyone out

It took them a while to figure themselves out, but they knew from a young age being a man was not it

They worked it out at seventeen, and the sexuality came quickly after

Goes full out for pride, has both their flags on them somewhere, with paint on any visible part of their body

Their first one was aged eighteen, Jack brought him, introducing him to Spot

Race is very in love with Spot, and was super clingy when they got together

Spot makes pride even more special for them

Albert

Gay

Like very very gay

He's been out since he was ten, because he knew

Albert loves wearing rainbows, and will talk to anyone that will let him about why

He went to his first pride aged twelve with his older brother, who was reluctant to take him

It was where he met Jack and Medda, who took him along with them the following year

Albert almost cried when Jack painted his face because he was so happy

He'd been so gutted without all the glitter and paint the year before, so it made the day even more special

Has a pair of rainbow laces, and only uses them, even if it means he has to relace his trainers

He met Elmer when he was eighteen, and immediately fell

So soft when in a relationship, would do absolutely anything for his partner

Elmer is no exception, and regularly wakes up to a romantic surprise

Spot

He's gay

But was brought up in an abusive, toxic and homophobic household

It took him a long time to accept himself

Living with Jack and Medda helped him to not hate that part of himself

And he finally let Jack take him to pride aged twenty

He wore a rainbow vest top, and refused all the paint and glitter

That changed when he met Race

Race helped him fully accept himself, and the second year was so different

He threw himself into the event, and his and Race's apartment became the place to be

Flags line the walls, because Race can't stop himself from buying them, and Spot loves it

He provides paint and glitter and flags for everyone, because he knows what it's like to not accept yourself, and wants to make sure none of his friends ever feel like that

Because Spot is so soft, eventhough he tries to cover it well

Here's the first eight, so because this post is quite long already, look out for part three soon

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penzyroamin · 4 years

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Hi I know it’s been a bit but I’m the confused bi anon. I really really appreciated your response and it wasn’t too long. You made me feel a lot better. I was wondering if you could maybe suggest some books, tv, movies with bi female characters. Thanks soo much for the entire last response . You are absolutely incredible and so sweet. This means more to me than you could ever know❤️

of course!! i’m glad that my first response helped <3

disclaimer of course: i’m not bi! so i’m not an Authoritative Source on bi rep and what people want to see more of. i do actively seek out stuff about lgbtq+ characters, specifically girls and women, so i have some recs! however, i’ll also be adding some things that some bi folks i know have recommended because while lesbians and bi women have a lot in common, these are at the end of the day representing them, not me :)

extra-super favorites will be bolded! i’m putting this under a read more because... i read a lot of books. and recommended a lot of them.

books:

her royal highness by rachel hawkins-- this book is a pretty easy read-- don’t expect any massive revelations about life from it, and you’ll have a good time!!! essentially, a bi texan girl named millie, after having her heart broken by her friend-turned-sort-of-gf, goes to boarding school in scotland and ends up rooming with the princess, flora. if this sounds outrageous and sappy, that’s because it is! and i love it! sexuality isn’t a BIG part of this book, but it’s discussed, and it’s just a generally fun enemies-to-lovers story about a bi aspiring geologist and a no-fucks-to-give lesbian princess and them falling in love!

fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg-- hello this is actually my favorite book! unlike hrh it is... a LOT to read. it essentially follows 2 stories-- one about a housewife named evelyn and her friendship with an old woman named ninny threadgoode who she meets at the old folks home her mother-in-law stays at, and the other about the stories ninny tells her about her sister-in-law idgie and her partner, ruth. the book was published in 1987, and ruth and idgie’s story is set during the great depression, so they aren’t actively labeled as lesbian or bi, but it’s made obvious enough through coding and the fact that ruth has relationships with men prior to idgie while idgie spends her entire childhood pining after ruth. both storylines are fantastic-- they have a lot to say about the lives of southern women in the 30s and 80s, and about race relations at both periods. i’ll warn you that there are depictions of extreme racism and of abuse, but it handles both delicately. it’s a critical piece of southern literature, and a landmark for lgbtq+ storytelling. as a bonus, my copy has a bunch of great recipes in the back, so if you read it you might chance upon an edition with those in it. if you like poignant period pieces about wlw relationships, women losing their damn minds, and abusive men getting what they deserve, this is the book for you! you will sob. this is a fair warning.

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson-- i haven’t personally read this one, but i’ve heard great things about it from everyone i know who has! an anxious black bi girl in indiana has to win prom queen at her mostly-white school in order to get enough scholarship money to go to the college of her dreams, but ends up falling for mack, another girl running for queen.

@landlessbud wanted me to shout out red, white, and royal blue by casey mcquinston-- you’ve almost definitely heard about it before (first son and prince of wales, enemies-to-lovers with a side dish of political drama), and it is primarily about a mlm romance, but nora is a fabulously fun bi girl side character and there’s a lot of great stuff about figuring out your sexuality in it.

leah on the offbeat by becky albertalli-- i’ve read a lot of complex thoughts on this book, and mine are... i like it! it’s flawed, sure, and i wish it had handled a few things a little better, but you know what? it’s cute as fuck! leah is a fat bi drummer, and she’s super cool! abby is a great love interest, and she goes through a whole bi realization throughout the book. all in all, it’s just a fun wlw high school romcom with a couple solid dramatic beats and a lot of goofball shenanigans. also, if you were an american girl kid??? one scene in this book will make the entire experience worth it for you.

harley quinn: breaking glass by mariko tamaki and steve pugh-- hey, we’re in graphic novel territory now! this book is RAD. a really neat look at gentrification, community solidarity, giving people what they deserve, and fantastic lgbtq+ found families. teenage harleen quinzel is taken in by a group of drag queens, and is caught between two sort-of love interests-- mysterious vigilante the joker and classmate and community activist ivy-- and the different forms of protest and resistance they represent. the art here is STUNNING, and it’s a great read!

laura dean keeps breaking up with me, by the great mariko tamaki with art by rosemary valero-o’connell-- the vast majority of the characters are lgbt, with a lesbian main character, and the supporting cast including a bi nonbinary character, a bi girl character, and two mlm characters! this is mostly a piece about modern lgbtq+ teenagers and the way toxic relationships take over our lives. it’s one of the most cathartic things i’ve read in a LONG time, and especially if you’re at a point where your sexuality feels kind of vague, this is a great read because it embraces that vagueness by not needing to clearly label the characters and celebrates whatever point of clarity the characters are at. probably some of the most gorgeous art i’ve ever seen in a book, with a beautiful black-white-and-pink color scheme and a really neat approach to visual storytelling.

movies:

i don’t watch many movies, because i get bored really quickly hskdhskhds. but the movies i DO watch are usually gay!

wowie zowie its fried green tomatoes again!-- fannie flagg came back to adapt this into a film and HOT DAMN is it just as good. the plot is primarily the same, with some stuff obviously cut or trimmed to make it a two hour movie instead of a 450 page books fhsjdhsjhds. mary-louise parker plays ruth!!! it got a GLAAD award and an oscar nomination, and god it’s good. there are a couple scenes in here that i think are going to be in my mind until the day i die. the level of pure butch energy that idgie radiates in this film is a one-hit k.o. and it KILLS me.

birds of prey-- listen. this is not a profound movie. harley’s bisexuality isn’t emphasized, and romance is basically nonexistent in this movie. there is some... quite graphic violence. that said, this movie is so fucking fun. it’s mostly just a bunch of women fucking up everyone who crosses them while margot robbie gives a gleeful performance that you can just TELL she enjoyed the fuck out of. the last 20-30 minutes of this movie are the absolute best part, with a long sequence that kind of reinvented what an action/superhero movie could be for me. again, bisexuality isn’t a massive part of this-- it’s mentioned, and then harley just continues on in her gloriously campy outfits and breaks peoples’ knees. again, i CANNOT overemphasize just how fucking good the last 20-30 minutes are. this movie knows what it is and it embraces it. also, women beating people up in costumes that don’t horrifyingly objectify them is always a plus!

imagine me & you-- i’d be remiss if i didn’t mention this one, considering it’s probably one of the most iconic wlw romcoms. a woman named rachel, while at her own wedding, meets a florist named luce, and they fall in love. it’s a very sweet look at questioning your sexuality when you were already secure in it, and rachel’s husband wins “most genuinely understanding guy in a wlw movie” award. it has a lovely happy ending, and articles have been written about the importance of rachel being a bi character who a) gets a happy ending and b) isn’t shamed for figuring out her sexuality later on or slutshamed. this is just... a sweet movie. it’s the romcom a lot of us need in our lives. also, a LOT of floral imagery.

tv shows:

ok, i’ve got a confession. i reaaaaaaally don’t watch much tv. seriously, the only shows i’ve watched a substantial amount of recently have been parks and rec, schitt’s creek, the good place, and gilmore girls. i have a really REALLY short attention span.

that said, eleanor from the good place is bisexual!! the good place is a really wild ride, it’s half afterlife comedy half philosophical musing, and it will almost certainly make you gasp, laugh, think, and also probably cry. also, eleanor is just buckets of fun and she, like many of us, is often blown away by tahani (jameela jamil) and her beauty.

ummm shows i haven’t watched entirely or at all but that have bi women in them and seem pretty good: black lightning, sex education, jane the virgin, arrow.

if you haven’t already watched it, do not believe what people are going to tell you about watching glee. it will drag you into a pit of despair and white men rapping, and it’s quite biphobic to top it all off.

i hope you enjoy at least some of these!! i tried to include some of my own favs and some that were pointed out to me, so i hope that at least a couple connect with you and make you feel better. again, the bolded ones are my 100% favorites. i love you and i’m glad you reached out again!!! feel free to send some more asks later on <3

#asks #anon #bi anon #ily <3 <3 i hope these help #if anyone wants to add please do!! specifically bi women of color since theres a shortage of them in fiction and media #dont talk abt b/9/9 though id like to not praise diversity in a show glorifying cops

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gayregis · 4 years

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which characters are trans this is a scientific inquiry

all of them except vilgefortz and leo bonhart

ok ok jokes, ill go more in depth... some of this is taken from things ive written before but not posted. also for anyone reading this im non bee nary so know that im not trying to describe the experiences of different identities in first-person, i’m basing this off of both my own and my friends’ experiences... none of this is “OMG YES CHARACTER ANGST >:))” but rather depicting personal struggles in fictional characters, so just know that the more difficult subjects that may be covered are not there just to see the character in pain, but rather to think about their eventual resilience against it and development afterwards

for geralt and yennefer i have more specific reasons why i think being transgender actually fits with their canonical characters & related story arcs, and then for the rest i have headcanons and maybe some reasoning but not a lot.

geralt: geralt already represents how a struggle with toxic masculinity and expectations of masculinity can influence one who wants to be seen as masculine to deny and bury their emotions. him being trans develops upon the aspect of his struggle with emotions, ive seen my friends who are transmasculine / myself when i used to ID as transmasculine struggle with showing emotions bc of feeling like you’re going to be misgendered if you shed a single tear. in canon, we already learn that kaer morhen has a bit of a macho culture (just fyi eskel and lambert and coen are trans too now, don’t go getting any idea that those guys are cis) and i believe that the “witchers have no emotions” thing is like 5% actual biology and 95% being raised to fight and not to feel. vesemir is a good father but he just wasn’t very emotionally nurturing, it’s the caste’s way of raising kids that geralt breaks out of.

i think geralt’s self-image also speaks a lot to the feelings of harsh internal transphobia. he constantly others himself from others and feels like people view him as different, which is metaphorical for any marginalized group under the sun, but also is very common for lgbt ppl. again this is smth ive really struggled with within the past few years so im just projecting/know what it feels like and feel that how geralt sees himself in canon is similar to a view suffering from internalized transphobia.

geralt's character already redefines manhood because he has to learn what it means to be a good father. and i think him being trans would be representative of his constant learning and growth as a person, yet also somewhat involved with his self loathing and feeling like just Him Existing is an affront ... but of course he unlearns this with time and love from others and all of his character development

yennefer: yennefer’s whole backstory revolves around defining who she is and defying the people who mistreated her and told her she was nothing. canonically yennefer of vengerberg is the story of the successful self-made woman... her life as janka she would rather forget, no one calls her by that name, and no one ever would because its not who she is nor who i think she ever was.

shes incredibly strong-willed and knows what she wanted from life but some things are terrifying to reach out for, like love and acceptance. yennefer has a conflict with love and being loved because that was never a safe topic for her ... (also sapkowski handled this specifically poorly imo, but:) yennefer canonically struggles with being loved for who she is. i think she deals so much with her previous abuse and again, expectations from parents, and coming to terms with the fact that she survived it all. also this isnt even touching upon her arc regarding motherhood. wanting to give a child your everything and everything that you never had... the love and kindness that no one gave you...

ciri: ciri hesitated to ever identify with “girl” or “boy,” she’s also i think the representation of childhood in general, she’s naturally curious about gender presentation as she ages and just never really cares to commit to gender. i think she’d say she was a girl but only reluctantly bc she just doesn’t care much.

dandelion: [from his TV Tropes page:]

he’s an artist and a musician, he’s not gonna be cishet...

ok in a more serious context i think he’s a nonbinary guy, i think him being trans might explain why he has way more friendships than relationships with family members. dandelion, like yennefer, is also someone that had to define who he was for himself, i mean for one his stage persona of dandelion is entirely an artist’s creation/hyperbole of himself, i think he also had to think abt his inner identity too

his gender is also just “your friend that comes to your house and eats all ur chips and drinks all ur beer and passes out on top of you on the couch”

milva: ok unfortunately i currently think milva is the token non-trans friend (she’s nonbinary just doesnt think of herself as trans) but it’s only because her major arc in baptism of fire revolves around her pregnancy and miscarriage and just bc she is not trans doesn’t mean she doesn’t go through her own difficult struggling process surrounding her womanhood. she struggles enormously throughout the series and in her backstory with defining herself between two rigid identities: the feminine maria and the cutthroat milva. in her talk with geralt, she reveals how she feels trapped between these two identities and feels like they cannot coexist. i feel like she’s a nonbinary/gender non-conforming butch* lesbian whose struggles with sexuality intersect her struggles with gender and what it means to her to be a gnc woman. also you have to consider that milva was raised in a small village in lower sodden so she understood gender in the very strict roles ascribed to men and women, so she felt like she couldn’t be a woman unless she was this very traditional idea of what a woman is “supposed to be like,” which she’s both been trying to shape herself to be and also running away from simultaneously. she learns to accept herself within the hansa bc they love and support her for who she is, and she doesn’t need to be strictly feminine or masculine to be understood by them

* i know the terms nonbinary and gnc and butch didn’t exist in the 1260s tyvm, i’m just saying this as how i interpret her in a modern context

regis: gender is a human sociological construct so basically don’t ask him unless you’re prepared to listen for 20 minutes. vampires can exist noncorporeally so they can exist without gender, also i hc the telepathic vampiric language is nongendered as it’s a transmission of pure thought, will, and force, so it doesn’t even use any grammar. i also hc that vampires just appear the way they feel in terms of appearance and age (e.g., regis at around 300 when he died still looked 25 bc he was as stupid as a 25 year old, now he’s calmer and understands more, so he looks middle-aged). when chilling out with humans regis will be referred to as a man bc that’s just how he appears but it’s an identity he had to learn about and adopt, not something he was assigned. most vampires look androgynous anyways bc they just feel androgynous, how are you gonna feel a gender when you don’t know what a gender is... if you HAD to understand him with human labels / put it in a modern context (like if i was making an modern real life AU) i’d say he’s a nonbinary trans man.

cahir: much like geralt i think cahir’s story is one of living up to expectations, but cahir’s actually takes it a step further because his major motivation in his backstory is trying to prove to his mother that he can be a good son that will make her proud and gain honor for the family... he seeks validation from external sources but faces ruin when he learns that war is not the way to prove one’s prowess and skill

angouleme: shes trans and i simply say so bc shes very cool and funny and i dont think a cis person could be this cool and funny. also i think the story of a runaway teen who was abandoned by her biological family and found solace in a new family is both very good and featured in a lot of trans ppl’s narratives. she kind of exudes this “im finally at a point in my life where i’m safe and cared for, i can start HRT now, let’s gooOOoooOOooo” energy.

#ask #dandeliyn #the witcher #hansa

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stvlti · 4 years

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10 female characters tag

@timothydraike tagged me to post 10 favourite female characters from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people, but honestly this list isn't gonna be too different from my 10 fave characters list cause most of them are women anyway 😂 😂 but here you go:

Nausicäa // Nausicäa of the Valley of the Wind, Studio Ghibli

I didn't explain it last time, but I feel like she is the prototype for all the Ghibli girl heroines, free and autonomous, except she's a young woman who knows exactly what she believes in and wants to do. She's a warrior princess who believes in peace and kindness rather than war; she listens to mother nature and tends to her garden as deftly as she handles her glider jet; she's a born leader who puts her subjects' wellbeing before her own immediate safety. This gif here shows the moment she took of her own gas mask to boost morale while they're crashing into a toxic wasteland. I don't think I've seen many representations of female leadership as compelling and utterly human as hers was before or after this film debuted in popular media.

Harley Quinn // DCU

She's a bundle of contradictions but it's in that I find a female antivillain/antihero that feels real. Her stocky build and bit of chub in the tummy area? Real. Her slobbish habits and love for nasty junk food? Real. Her all encompassing empathy for animal welfare? Real. Disregarding the artists that draw her with too big boobs, she's so ordinary in her appearance and habits that it actually feels like she's the kind of girl that media often overlooks. She's like the manic pixie dream girl but rounded out with relatable human traits.

Tsunemori Akane // Psycho-Pass

I related to her when I was 20 (exactly her age at the start of the series) because I was at a crossroads in life, just as she was. I was searching for my calling, just as she was trying to understand her purpose and place in society. And at that point in my life, I could appreciate the duality between abiding by the system (legal reformation) and questioning the system (dipping into revolutionary ideas). I can't see myself relating to a cop anymore now obviously, but she's a rather unique figure that I still think about.

Ava // Ex Machina (2014), filmblr

She brings out all my post-humanist sympathies. And I think she captures a sort of queer android and Other perspective, one that the male characters feel threatened by, that women can understand well.

Maeve Millay // Westworld

She's my murder mom. Something something about "I've died a thousand times, I'm not afraid of death" (I'm paraphrasing majorly), she's so badass. The fact that she was one of the first androids to awaken and actually challenge the humans, there's so much power in her taking her trauma in stride and moving forward nonetheless. And I think you can see a recurring theme here lolol

Lois Lane (Gotham City Garage) // DCU Elseworlds

Perhaps this is just preserving a core attribute of her main continuity counterpart, but I absolutely adore the spirit she embodies of journalists who stay defiantly committed to truth and justice in the face of insurmountable odds. Fighting against a fascist terror regime - which hits very close to home - and keeping the broadcast going even out in the wasteland. In this last aspect she carries similarities to Dr. Death Defying's character from Gerard Way's Killjoys series, except she's a woman and she was actually fleshed out as a character with a heart and soul and a lot of gravitas. How can you not love her?

(and I forgot this was supposed to be 10 characters from 10 different fandoms until I finished this list but let's say her being an Elseworlds character counts as a different fandom 🤡🤡)

Ripley // Alien (even tho Sigourney Weaver's personal politics is a bit yikes)

The proto-final girl and original warrior mother in sci-fi wrapped into one. (Ok, the crown for modern scifi warrior mother might have to go to Sarah Connor actually, but that's also another Cameron invention so they can share that title.) Even tho I can't relate to most of her character arc, I'm still very impressed by her character. They even touch on her PTSD a little which is unheard of in the contemporary movies at the time.

Honorary mention: Sarah Connor // Terminator

Marceline the Vampire Queen // Adventure Time

Not the original goth gf, but she is a goth gf. Gay and aesthetics aside, I really liked that the show let her be a bit weird and gross (which she should be considering she's kind of undead) and her tragic backstory gets me every time. The best thing is she's still a big softie, who takes good care of Ice King / Simon when he's around; you don't see that kind of (grand)daughter character in media much.

Beverly Marsh // It (2017)

I haven't read the book but tbh I liked the agency the first movie awarded her enough that I'm afraid of jeopardising it; I don't like how the book portrays / handles her sexuality. She is a survivor of csa, but she's a fighter regardless. I like that about her.

Darlene Alderson // Mr. Robot

I honestly debated putting her on this list again since I haven't seen a single Mr. Robot episode in so long, but I do remember her character being given her own arc in S2 (and onwards I suppose) and she's a little fucked up in her own way. People look at Rami's character and get sucked in sorting through his alters but Darlene is no less complex - damaged, dangerous, and compelling.

Other honorary mentions:

Riko Sheridan // DCU (an Asian girl who isn't infantilised or reduced to the model minority? shocker!)

Missy // Colette (2018), filmblr (she's actually a real historical figure so I'm not sure if she counts. But she's so radical and ahead of her time - in fact the film seems to suggest she prefers he/him pronouns. I have never seen such intriguing butch representation and I just fell in love with her character. Worth a watch.)

Jo March // Little Women (2019), filmblr (since we're talking about historical women... well, she's a period film character but not a real one, but she's highly evocative of certain female experiences in much the same way)

Blue // The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (so I didn't wanna crowd this list with too many android ladies but she's the first queer android girl character I came across and I loved her instantly. Too bad they buried her gay but her entire concept is my aesthetic)

Rem // Death Note (I feel like I'm obligated to mention DN, too bad it has shitty writing wrt female characters, that's why I have no choice but to stan the lesbian monster gf friend who is so in love with her gal pal she would die for her. Ugh, poetic cinema)

Ok now I am gonna tag @lawliyeeeet @sweetgloss @dressed-to-keehl @3dnygma @hikenacedabi and anyone else who wants to I guess

#tag meme #long post

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macdenaissance · 5 years

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can’t believe someone tagged me in one of these things!! thank you @soupcharlie for my life 💗

nicknames: I go by sko usually which is a nickname, it’s my initials! people call me skoie/skoeen/squirrel, things like that (my actual name is sarah kate)

zodiac sign: cancer

height: 5'10″ - 5′11″ depending on who’s measuring

Hogwarts house: hufflepuff I guess, don’t think about it much anymore tbh

last thing you googled: “willowbrook mall” to see if the mall was open so I could spend too much money on lush products

song stuck in your head: “lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off” by patd lmao I ate a weed cookie and listened to some childhood faves last night

following: 1,368 (and I just unfollowed a few hundred inactive blogs...I’ve been here for like 8 years 😩)

followers: 34 on this blog so far! so psyched to be getting followers at all, it’s truly amazing that people are interacting with me and my silly posts, especially people I’ve been following in this fandom for years. I appreciate y’all so much! ❤️️🧡💛💚💙💜

amount of sleep you get: really depends on the night, anywhere from 5-12 hours

lucky number: don’t have one

dream job: trophy butch/comedian/showrunner/claire from bon appetit but vegan

wearing: jeans + world/inferno friendship society (a band) t-shirt + blue/white flannel + glasses

favourite songs: let’s groove - earth wind & fire / easy lover - phil collins and philip bailey / gimme gimme gimme (a man after midnight) - abba / don’t you worry bout a thing - stevie wonder / living dead - marina / juice - lizzo / evil woman - e.l.o. / don’t stop me now - queen / toxic - britney spears / jeffery lee - world/inferno friendship society / if you want me to stay - sly & the family stone / private eyes - holland oates / way too many more!

instruments: I’ve tried learning guitar, piano, and violin, and failed at all of them for various reasons 😅

random fact: I’ve won best handwriting at the american crossword puzzle tournament twice...my dad makes crosswords and we like to solve them together and we go to a bunch of different tournaments and things like that, it’s tons of fun if you’re a huge nerd!

aesthetic: oh man so many different ones! for personal fashion I generally aspire to a bit of a lumberjack vibe, but I’m also into the hawaiian shirt/vacation dad aesthetic, and I like to dip my toes into punk and/or goth depending on my mood and surroundings. also I was mac for halloween a few years back and that felt very fun and sexy. basically I just need to look like a lesbian or I’ll die. for fashion on other ladies I love a lot of different aesthetics, from electra heart-era marina to fran fine to kind woodland witch to rico nasty to goth, I really don’t have any one type. for living spaces my dream aesthetic is kind of all of these things put together somehow

tagging: I don’t know how many people have done this already, I usually just say whoever sees this and wants to do it can consider themself tagged, but I’ll tag a few - @meerkatgang @dayman-cometh @gay-rich-mac-rules @ladyancientcosmos @alwayssunnyinbitchadelphia no pressure babes!!

💗💝💖💞☘💪

#personal #drug mention #hope this makes sense lmao I tend to Ramble

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cowboyjen68 · 6 years

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I love your long answers! I need lesbian Mom advice 😅 Got back into dating recently.I’ve been with a butch girl for a few months and we broke up due to her issues (and frankly the relationship was very toxic) and my dates sense have either been lackluster or in the case of one girl, had an amazing date and felt a connection, then suddenly she just bounced. Was dating this difficult for you when you were out? I feel like I can’t be taken seriously, or girls just like to play with my feels.

You did the right thing leaving a relationship that was unhealthy. Honestly, I was a crappy dater. I had little confidence in my ability to make someone happy. My first girlfriend and I were together 7 years. She left me for someone and frankly, I was okay with that. We are friends now, although seeing each other once a year is plenty. I dated a tiny bit before meeting Rita and we were both in a space of need. She needed stability and I needed to not be alone anymore. We were friends first, but for a short period. Our relationship has struggled because we moved pretty fast. We have to work hard because we communicate differently and our life goals don’t always align. We just shot a video about how we met, but i am behind in editing. My advice, and the advice I give my kids. Don’t be afraid to go on just dates. You don’t owe anyone anything just because you go on a date. A lot of us panic and want to grab on to someone fearing another will not come along. Don’t listen to that voice. Go on casual dates. You will know when were is chemistry. When you feel comfortable enough to say “hey, I really like you” do it and if they walk away, better to find out sooner than later. If they stay and have that conversation, even if they are not quite on the same page, that can be a good sign. Dating is hard for everyone. You are not alone. We are programmed by society to find a mate. You are pretty young. There is no hurry.Remember, the whole point of dating is too meet and learn about people. Do that. Get involved in local gay pride stuff. It is a great way to meet people and you never know who had a friend of a friend who is single. . Also expand your horizons a bit. If you have traditionally been attracted to butch, explore meeting women in the middle (soft butch ) or even more feminine women. See if your level of attraction is smaller, the same or larger for different types of women. You are young and dating, don’t get to stuck on who your are attracted to, Now is the time to explore a bit.

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ash-etherwood · 6 years

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my gender and stuff

Ok so recently I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am, what I am presenting as and who I want to be.

My undercut is now a little over a year old and my self esteem has only risen since I cut my long hair off. I never did anything special with it, it was always in the way and the only hairstyle I ever had was a really ugly bun with all of my hair pulled back which made me look like a Karen who recently divorced her husband and wanted to speak to the manager. After I cut my hair and looked in the mirror, it was the first time in my life when I felt genuinely attractive, beautiful, handsome. I felt like a person that was content with how they looked and couldn’t help but smile when they saw themselves, not feel the need to hide and feeling not good enough. I also bought a lot new clothes and drastically changed my style: I wear snapbacks now, brighter colours, patterns, things I thought were “too mainstream” or “not edgy enough” before. Especially during my teens I felt a strong pressure to be edgy, different, dark, not like the other girls/kids. I was ashamed when I found myself actually liking a pop song and furiously denied it for years or tried to mark it as a joke. Today I don’t define my taste in music anymore, I listen to whatever I like, Bring Me to Life is still unironically one of my favourite songs, but so is Toxic and Everybody by the Backstreet Boys. I love what I love, no matter if it’s fashionable and basic or obscure and edgy.

I changed my mind about my sexuality quite often in the last few years, which is a normal thing to do I guess. I identified as bisexual for some time, then as lesbian, then as panromantic, and now I’m back to homoromantic and grey-asexual and right now it feels good and fitting for me. I can’t promise it will stay this way, but for now I feel right and well. The only thing that is set in stone is that I really, really, REALY like girls. I learned a lot about the butch identity in the past few months and found myself feeling very comfortable with that label. I have always been kinda gender-nonconforming since my teen years, but only recently I found out how nice it feels to wear flannel and caps and boxer shorts. I feel good when I present more masculine. Female masculinity is a real and an incredibly good and healthy thing and I know it sounds weird to say it like that, I was confused too, but when you experience it, you suddenly understand it so much better. I am a butch lesbian and I am good and masculine and female and I feel good this way.

And now there is something I’ve been thinking about. I don’t really dislike being a girlfriend. But I’d rather be a boyfriend. Not a man, I don’t want to stop being a woman, a lesbian. I like being a sir, a mister, a boyfriend, a guy. I’m not a man and I don’t want to be associated with manhood. I am a lesbian, I want to be associated with girls and women and lesbians, I feel like one of them, but not in a conventional way. I’m not really sure who I am, but I know that I’m not “just” a girl anymore. I’ve explored a few labels already, like nonbinary and demigirl, some people even identify their gender as butch, something that sounds very right and fitting in my opinion for what I’m experiencing, but I’m not sure about it yet and what to call it. I’ve read about lesbians who use he/him pronouns, who are not men and don’t want to be called men, but who feel like these pronouns fit them better than any others. Something that seems confusing and maybe contradictory at first, but makes more sense the more you learn and think about it. I’m not sure about personal pronoun changes yet, and I am not repulsed by she/her in any way, and the lack of gender-neutral pronouns in German makes it even harder for me to find something fitting, but I feel like I want to start looking how they/them feels for me. I think right now I would be okay with any pronouns. She? Fine. They? Also fine. He? I think even that would be fine if it is used by someone I know and trust and who knows about how I feel.

All I wanted to say is pretty much that I’m starting to feel more disconnected from being a binary woman and more connected to being a nonbinary, gender-nonconforming, more generally masculine, but not entirely femininity-repulsed woman. I own beautiful dresses and I will continue to look adorable in them. But I will also continue to look handsome as fuck in my leather jacket and flannel shirt.

I would be really thankful if y’all started referring to me as “they” sometimes, you don’t have to entirely avoid “she”, as I still feel ok with it, and I’m not sure about “he” yet, but I would also be nice I you could refer to me with masculine nouns (I mean that in a German way) like for example “actor” instead of “actress” (or Veranstalter, Träger, Freund etc. instead of Veranstalterin, Trägerin, Freundin etc., you know the stuff).

Thanks for reading and listening to my confused ass, if there was anything unclear or not well explained, feel free to ask me about it and I will try to answer you as clear as possible! <3

#my words of wisdom #genderboy #maybe i'll need that tag again

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mosaic-lights · 7 years

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Unpopular opinion

But guys can benefit front the same empowerment and encouragement as girls can.

Let me explain.

Everyone on this website will say toxic masculinity or mention it or some shit. But no one ever really unpacks it other than just saying ‘the patriarchy’, ‘ men don’t deal with emotions’ or some shit like that.

But a big part of sexism is making men and women feel inherently different with different needs, roles, wants, abilities etc. in the one usually identified as the patriarchy men are unfeeling, physically fit, stone blocks, possessive, in-charge and dominant.

Feminism functions on the ideals that men, women and every gender under the sun( regardless of legal recognition or labels cause god knows the world is insane right now).

Why am I bitching and moaning then? Well it’s because I’ve been on a long, twisting and arduous journey on dealing with body image issues, self-Love and lack of if, depression and all of that shit. And one of the reasons it’s been so damn difficult is because of lack of resources.

There’s not really self love resources for guys because we’re not supposed to have these issues. There’s no body image resources for guys, there’s little to no resources for mental illness, eating disorders, sexual issues, relationship help.

Think about it, when was the last time you saw a post on here that was kind towards guys? Men of color, queer men, trans men, disabled men, any man.

And this is because that these areas, as well as online spheres like tumblr, are very female centric. And things here are very extreme, a societal reaction towards what’s considered wrong, think like the Bolshevik portion of the Russian revolution being such an extreme and visceral reaction to imperial Russia.

This is also evident in the treatment of masculinely styled or presenting women, I.e. butch lesbians, who will get targeted, even by other queer women, for ‘masculine privilege’. Which I’m sorry but unless your cisgender, masculine privilege doesn’t *really* apply.

The only way that communities like Tumblr accept any form of masculinity is by belittling, infantilizing or twisting it. All the posts for trans men are primarily geared towards ‘soft boys’ and most people act like trans men are desexualized, un-masculine beings of cute fluffy sweaters, flower-crowns and shimmery rainbow contour.( I’ll try to avoid getting into the various issues of how irl groups and online groups treat/view trans guys because that’s a separate rant for another day). If a guy doesn’t fit those criteria he’s demonized into a misogynistic rapist. There was a post I saw recently where some people were joking that a thread about what men wanted sexually would be rapey and the worst of humanity when in actuality the guys wanted things like sexual encouragement, being submissive/feeling safe as the little spoon and wanting to please their partner. But tumblr, and many irl liberal places, will treat men the same way the patriarchy treats them. Like they’re unfeeling, unbothered, sexually predatory, dominant things.

And I’m not saying all resources need to be geared towards men. I fully understand that women also deal with body image and self love issues.

But I think in the aspects of sexual positivity, body image help, self love, mental illness and just good helpful shit like that, there needs to be more variety in the gender. And presentation of those things. Having them for men and masculine presenting or androgynous people.

And to anyone who wants to bitch at me about this I’ll just point you to the various statements and studies on how suicide( and obviously the associated issues and causes with it) is one of the leading causes is men’s deaths. Because honestly lives could genuinely be saved by extending the same loving empowerment that you preach

Thanks for listening to my long rant

#sexism #men #guys #trans #positivity #help #suicide and depression #body image and self love #idk I don’t wanna call it misandry #but I’ll say bias or demonization

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thequeerme-blog1 · 6 years

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Andro? Femme? Butch?

The one about pigeon-holing in the Queer community.

According to the Cambridge dictionary a label is a piece of paper or other material that gives you info about the object it is attached to.

We all wear invisible labels all the time. What if they were real though? As in letters stamped on our wrists. Instead of being a UK 12, you’d have an A (for Andro), F (Femme), B (Butch), D (Dyke), SL (Sporty Lesbian), G (Geek)… Watch out Charlie Brooker, I see a Queer Mirror here!

Some people might think that a few we have pretty obvious ones, like wearing a wristband I must say; although others have semi-hidden labels on their neck, and some invisible ones at their back. I label, you label, they label. Active voice. I am labelled, you are labelled, they are labelled. Passive. Getting the grammar now, right?

I’m not having a Black Mirror vision or giving a grammar lesson though. I’ve just felt the urge to write about pigeonholing as since I’m single the question I’m asked the most is… WHAT-IS-YOUR-TYPE?, believe me I’ve heard it way more times than ARE-YOU-SPANISH? (which is worrying as I could be Sofia Vergara’s second cousin, sometimes my own close friends don’t get me).

What is surprising is that when I came out in London, as a femme, my lesbian mates would just assume that I was into masculine (or less feminine) types. They, obviously, would change their mind when getting to know my personality. Again, Chet Faker sings talk is cheap… and it is free, I’d add. We talk too much a listen too little!

Tell me how’s your haircut that I’ll tell you who you gotta fancy!

A few weeks ago, however, I had an interesting and yet short chat (blame the DJ!) with someone who defended labels as a way to introduce yourself to the world (hetero-normative world, especially). I am vegan, I am a lesbian, I am a designer, I am a cyclist, I am a dancer, I am a socialite, I am a geek, and so on… Sounds about right. Labels make us feel secure. It’s like the skills you’d highlight in a cover letter when applying for a job. I have sound understanding of Final Cut, I am bilingual, I am enthusiastic. You make people realise who you are and what you want. Hence, what they can expect from you. In my personal-slash-love life, it saves me a lot of time with guys. I don’t like being hit on by lads. Sorry (not sorry) to be blunt but I had to put up with it for years; and no, it’s not arrogance, it was annoyance. You don’t need to be hot, beautiful and young; with two boobs and a pussy you’re likeable/hittable enough (against your will). Nowadays, however, I must say they rarely harass me. I guess it’s not acceptable just yet for lads to be into andro-girls.

Back in late spring, I had a similar debate with a (now) good friend of mine, although applied to the Queer community. It was an epic convo on a night bus, more entertained than watching the US elections. I obviously like questioning everything, starting by myself, plus pushing boundaries to make people/myself think. Today I kinda get her point and must admit she’s one of the few lesbians l’ve known who’s truly labels-free and independent. She really falls for the gay person, aside from her look, role, tag, etc.

The real issue is not to label yourself but to label others and, therefore, patronise, judge and assume their behaviours/interactions. You can call yourself andro, as I definitely do again and again, I’m free to do so if that’s what I identify with. Although it does not imply I follow the andro user guide.

Shouldn’t a queer community be more open-minded and less judgemental? However, we stereotype each other and proclaim what we are/aren’t allowed to do/feel/think. You are ANDRO (stamp!). You are FEMME (stamp!). You two pair together.

Hello Andro. Hello Femme. Welcome to your new homo-normative world! Please help yourselves to some hetero-types available for you in that box. They are ordered by topics. What are your roles in bed is one of the hottest and most consulted. It’ll be quite useful in your relationship from now on. After a read, feel free to practise with this strap-on that you Andro will always use and you Femme never (presumably). It doesn’t matter what your likes are, this is how we function here. It’s time for you to play now. Femme always remember you ought to wait, whereas Andro you do all the manual labours. Enjoy your new life!

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Queer Mirror.

Hence, you can guess who’s the most invisible, forgotten and even ignored character, gay girls with feminine/straight looks. Whilst listening to a few, I came to the conclusion that, after the suffered bisexual woman, the less understood, respected, listened to, is the feminine lesbian. They/we talk about them as if they were the woman (took from the patriarchy), the weak, emotional and sweet one, the princess waiting to be picked from the self by the andro king. Again, not everyone thinks/acts like that, however I’ve heard enough comments and seen sufficient interactions. And thank Whoever that I’m surrounded by those feminine ones who don’t give a shit and are as strong, blunt, diverse, logical, funny, active as I am (or as I am supposed to be!).

Let’s stop judging and pigeon-holing the other queer types. As in the end, we’re just repeating archaic, toxic, damaging, narrow-minded behaviours picked from our straight-fellows. Hence, let us live, love and laugh as free as we are and as queer as we pray.

Don’t do types, do star signs! (sing and repeat)

[irony on]

From now on, will just ask hey, what’s your star sign? Kids, you can try this experiment next time you go out. Although bear in mind you’ll become addicted to the Broadly daily horoscope.

Lately I don’t hang out with femmes, butches, andros, dykes anymore, I’m more into centaurs, sheep, lions, scorpions… It’s way more fun and purely scientific. Don’t believe me?

How come then, that I always have a crush-slash-adventure with Geminis? Or that myself obsessively attracts Taurus?

Why I normally hate-love Cancers and Virgos and I are best buds? Capricorns though… I’ve just known two. One turned me on a lot, the other is my new deep friend. No clue.

Last but not least, isn’t it coincidental that with Scorpios I always have an X-files relationship and that I normally fall in love with Aries?

Do the Zodiac, 12 new labels for you to use! Isn’t it excited? 👌😏

See you next month, dear Sag!

[irony off]

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nothingman · 7 years

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(Photo: Facebook)

On April 18, a nationwide manhunt came to an end as Steve Stephens, suspected of the Facebook Live murder of 74-year-old Robert Godwin on Easter Sunday, died of a self-inflicted gun-shot wound.

According the Stephens, the rejection of love from his ex-girlfriend, Joy Lane, led to his presumably emotional breakdown and decision to take another’s life. This story unfortunately speaks to a much larger epidemic in the black community that occurs when the male ego is challenged and masculinity crosses that dangerous line of becoming toxic.

Last week, Ebony editor Britni Danielle catalogued a series of tweets and follow-up story about women who had been killed at the hands of black men due to domestic violence. The effort was to bring awareness to an epidemic that has been happening in the black community for some time, and yet rarely discussed in any meaningful way. Her tweets were met with much praise, but also backlash as some chose to victim blame the women and reduce the accountability of the black men who committed these crimes. Their defense was rooted in a desire to protect the long damaged image and perception of African-American men.

This isn’t the first time an awareness campaign has attempted to discuss the challenges and dangers black women face regarding their safety around black men.space“> Three years earlier, Danielle profiled activist and journalist Feminista Jones’ anti-street harassment campaign #YouOkSis, which often times has led to injury and even death at the hands of black men when their advances are rejected.

“The bottom line is that a lot of the ways in which men have been taught to approach women has been problematic,” Jones said. “Men are taught to believe that women are perpetually accessible to them, and it’s hard to take no for an answer.”

Her campaign forced many men to open their eyes and even directly challenge the masculinity of others.

This event prompted scholar, activist and avid Twitter user Anthony J. Williams to start the #MasculinitySoFragile hashtag. In speaking about the hashtag, Williams said “it came from pure frustration and a sense of helplessness.”

“Following Feminista Jones on Twitter was like some awakening for me. Seeing how she was personally treated as a black woman and listening to the individual stories she brought to Twitter as a social worker helped me realize my complicity in toxic masculinities,” he added. “It’s now 2017 and her individual efforts, the organizing of black women, and my hashtag have changed the conversation but haven’t stopped men—including black men—from assaulting, stalking and killing black women because we somehow feel entitled to them.”

He often wonders how we can work toward a solution to this eve- growing epidemic.

Toxic masculinity, however, is not only assumed by the heterosexual man. Masculinity within the LGBTQ community shows up in many ways as to create power dynamics within the lines of sex and gender. ‘Masc’ and ‘fem’ are often directly linked to sexual positions, and used to shame those in the less so-called dominant role. Gay men often shaming trans people shows just how far the divisions are even within a marginalized population.

Lesbians have also exhibited these characteristics when discussing ‘dom’ (dominant) and ‘butch’ in comparison to those who are considered fem. Masculinity is seen as the peak power dynamic in most communities, therefore it’s quite natural that other populations or sub-communities would adopt such structural hierarchy, essentially creating a class and power system.

To gain more insight into toxic masculinity, I spoke with psychologist and TV personality Dr. Jeffrey Gardere, Ph.D., ABPP of Farley and Associates Advanced Crisis Management Firm. “Generally speaking, toxic masculinity is in all communities and comes from misogynistic views, anger and low self-esteem; where women become targets of hate. The same is true in the African American society,” Gardere said.

“However, you need to add the wrinkle that in some cases, social inequality may add increased stress and threaten the male role expression, especially in individuals who may have pre-existing personality or other emotional challenges, resulting in anger-based views and behaviors such as toxic masculinity.”

This definition coincides with the depiction of toxic masculinity in media, which has also long stood as a form of art imitating life at its worst intersection. The first movie that comes to mind is the critically-acclaimed classic Carmen Jones, starring Harry Belafonte and Dorothy Dandridge. In the final act of the movie Carmen, played by Dandridge, is asked to return to her lover Joe (Belafonte). When Carmen rejects this request, Joe strangles Carmen to death before being apprehended by police.

In What’s Love Got to Do with It, which depicted the life story of Ike and Tina Turner, Turner dealt with years of abuse from her husband, most often due to jealousy of her rising fame outside of his own. Ike Turner relied on the power dynamics of abuse to not only keep her fearful, but keep others around them from stepping in to do anything about it.

When we look at the current trend of shows depicting how toxic masculinity usually ends in abuse or death, look no further than TV One’s Monday night lineup. The show Justice by Any Means depicts friends and families of loved ones hunting down those, mainly men, who have killed their loved ones, primarily women. Another show on the network, For My Man, explores women who are led to do heinous crimes under the power and control of the men they love. The show gives insight into how masculinity can transcend gender, and be used as a tool to manipulate and hurt others. Similarly, TV One’s For My Woman depicts men who, when challenged by their women, are driven to kill “the other man” in tangled love triangles.

These type of shows exemplify how the media continues to profit on an issue that is destroying the black community. What happened this past weekend is the continuation of a deadly epidemic in the black community that we can no longer dismiss as “lone wolf” incidents. For many, the fear at the hands of black hetero men is much more prevalent than any other race, particularly in the case of black trans women. If we are ever going grow as a community, we must start addressing these problems head on, and not be afraid to check our egos at the door–because toxic masculinity is literally killing us.

George M. Johnson is a journalist and activist based in the Washington, D.C. area. He has written for EBONY.com, TheGrio, JET, Pride.com, Thebody.com, and The Huffington Post on topics of health, race, gender, sex, and education. Follow him on Twitter: @iamgmjohnson.

via theGrio

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