#I mean we all go through our phases and it ebbs and flows with what the fandom is doing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

that-is-just-so-typically-me · 7 months

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I think every instinct we have to seek intimate connections with other humans where we give generously and unselfconsciously presupposes that people unfailingly reciprocate such acts. I also don’t think that instinct is in any way misguided or inappropriate. It’s just about the keystone of group cooperation - the impulse of individuals to “sacrifice” themselves to a degree and help other people has increased our personal survival odds/quality of life enough to become the survival strategy that persevered down our genetic lines, like any other social species. The problems arise when everyone is so damn traumatized from betrayal and abandonment of the people we gave the most to and were the most vulnerable with that we end up swinging to the other end of the pendulum (the anxious-attachment style to avoidant-attachment style pipeline is REAL, baby) that we still crave this intimacy but can’t seem to allow ourselves to be generous and sit back and wait for the love to be returned in kind any more. Usually this happens in some early childhood configuration with our first caregivers but ultimately it happens again and again as we form new attachments which then fracture and break, refreshing the trauma anew and further strengthening the connective tissue between giving/loving and pain/death (because our brains are at this point in evolution designed to understand social abandonment as deadly physical danger). But what happens is that this avoidance actually just guarantees our decline and lowers the odds of our survival as we literally did not evolve the survival strategies to be solitary creatures like spiders or angler fish or some other organism that comes together with other members of its kind only to briefly copulate. We don’t do this alone. We can’t do this alone. We can do a LOT “independently”, so to speak, but almost like a hand moves “independently” of a torso or head or tongue or eyebrow, capable of autonomy to a finite extent with the health and mobility of those we’re connected to directly informing our own health and mobility, our capacity to achieve our fullest potential realized only when the entire system provides enough support and stability to arise from. like a circle of life that moves us all, or something. We guarantee to hurt ourselves when we isolate, when we withhold from others and do not “invest” in each other.

That doesn’t mean that every person we “invest” in will give back, and there is never a perfect, mirrored reciprocation like we can balance a ledger with formulaic precision. It’s an imperfect ebb and flow and sometimes it really is that we just do it for the hygiene of it all and it is sort of like “there goes another chunk of my time and energy into the black hole of good deeds” but not in a negative way? But we MUST apply wisdom and judgment and understand when we are simply being mistreated, used, and stuck in a dead-end interpersonal relationship that will drain us and hurt us more than if we just severed that tie and tried with other people instead. But that brings me back to my original point that this instinct grew because it had the chance to do so in an environment of a shared awareness of our interdependence, an environment that I don’t know exists in the USA anymore. It’s become more and more of a rare thing to find people who do understand and won’t begrudge that interdependence, because we constantly flee at the first sign that we aren’t going to be taken care of 100% by the others in our lives 100% of the time, that they will be boring and are guaranteed to accidentally hurt us or not be there when we could use the help. So we hop from person to person riding a continual honeymoon phase where the illusion of a perfect friend/partner/loved one is still unshattered, and perfect love with them seems attainable to us through them, until it doesn’t - then we wash, rinse, and repeat.

Mostly cis straight men are notorious for this because I truly believe there is not a group more traumatized and deeply afraid and incapable of fulfilling their own needs even a small part of the time (which again speaks to the broken nature of our social webs because the ability to meet our own needs DEVELOPS from the unconscious knowledge that when we are in true danger, someone will help us. But we force almost total independence onto boys to the extent that we refuse them any emotion other than anger and do not soothe them in childhood when their brains and bodies are literally incapable of meeting their own needs yet because they are literal c h i l d r e n). So we have created this deadly whirlpool sucking everyone down because no one trusts anyone anymore, and there is no other way to pump the brakes on this and turn things around except some people taking a brave leap of faith into giving and loving like they’ve never been hurt, and the people they give to and love being brave and strong enough to catch them when they leap, even though no one involved will ever be perfect. Both kinds of people are in short supply.

I’ll be clear though that we MUST apply our judgment to situations where the relationship is just parasitic and abusive and then the bid of faith will heal absolutely nothing, and the person being used must leave or be annihilated (and the person annihilating them will not be healed through this act even if they believe they will be). There are epidemics of systemic power imbalances predicated on this whole sick dynamic (like cis straight men may be the most wounded psychologically but they also monopolize the power to do anything about this. “This leash demeans us both” and everything, but only the person holding the leash can free either of them).

The kind of thoughts I wish I could just dump on here and lay down and get a kiss on the forehead about but instead I just get to smoke by my window because it’s the only way I can sleep these days without PTSD nightmares

#if I can’t get a forehead kiss I will settle for being slapped in the face until I can’t feel anything!

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greysgambling · 2 years

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Ar cook citrus squeezer

Ar cook citrus squeezer install#

Ar cook citrus squeezer free#

With this added storage space (and seating!), we were able to forgo upper cabinets for a bright and airy feel. In this space, I prioritized counter space, which was increased by taking out the walls separating the kitchen and living/dining rooms and adding a large island. I don’t like to have to travel very far to get something accomplished in the kitchen. I’m actually a big fan of smaller, thoughtfully laid out kitchen spaces.

Ar cook citrus squeezer free#

I’m obsessed with them, and they make my kitchen the space I want to be in all-day every-day! If you are interested in how skylights might bring some light into your home, definitely check out the free virtual design service from Velux, where one of their consultants can help you reimagine your space.ĭid you lay out the kitchen in any particular way? They also have a sensor that tells them to close automatically when it rains (so important in the Pacific Northwest!).

Ar cook citrus squeezer install#

The skylights even have integrated solar panels on the outside, meaning that they don’t require any wiring to install and operate. This means the skylights can operate on a schedule or automatically when the air in the room gets too hot or stuffy. The skylights really make my dream come true! I could not be happier with natural light all throughout the day, being able to adjust brightness using the light-filtering shades, the fact that they open to provide extra ventilation, and that I can put them on autopilot through the Velux Active system. The install process was super straightforward and completed while our house was getting a new roof (If you want to see the before photos and progress of installing the skylights, check out my highlight on Instagram!). Part of our remodel involved installing a beam so that the walls could be removed, and then installing two skylights running the length of the kitchen to flood it with light. The solar-powered Velux Fresh-Air Skylights! When we bought our house, it had an incredibly dark kitchen space completely enclosed in walls and a suffocating, 7-foot ceiling. I’m happy that it didn’t get the best of us and that I now have a beautiful kitchen to cook in! It was a truly stressful experience that tested us in ways we hadn’t expected, and we often felt like we wouldn’t make it. We had just completed gutting the space when the pandemic started picking up speed, and met many roadblocks over the 9 months it took us to complete the kitchen (like a catastrophic water leak after which we had to take out the kitchen we had just put in, remediate the damage, and rebuild!). When we started this project in January 2020, we had no idea what the year would bring, both for our personal lives, or the world. While we loved being a part of that adventure, we were ready to move closer to town and bought a home with the intention of remodeling the kitchen to serve as a studio for creating recipes, videos, and photographing my work. My husband Noah and I have spent the last 6 years living on my family’s farm. Now that I understand that so many variables that affect my health are actually in my control, I can make better and more empowered decisions going forward. I spent many years being closed off and disconnected to how my body truly felt in an effort to simply get by. How has the AIP changed your life? Simply, it gave me a framework to determine whether or not a food (or anything else!) is supporting my best health, or holding me back. It took me about 3 years to work through the ebbs and flows of the reintroduction process and land on the way I eat today. Over time I was able to tolerate eggs, some gluten-free grains (like rice), and a few nightshades (like potatoes). Have you successfully reintroduced any foods? Yes! My earliest reintroductions were legumes with edible pods, most seed-based spices, and most nuts. How long have you been eating AIP? I first embarked on the elimination phase of AIP 8 years ago, in 2012. Through these interviews, we hope to share how they make it happen across a variety of budgets and living situations, and give the community a wealth of inspiration. That being said, we only promote authors, products, and services that we wholeheartedly stand by!ĪIP Kitchen Tour is a monthly feature in which we profile a member of the AIP community and their kitchen setup in hopes that it will further inspire us to get our kitchens organized and set up for success! We’ve interviewed folks who are making the AIP lifestyle a reality in everything from college dorms and small city apartments, to large households with non-AIP family members, and everything in between. In order to support our blogging activities, we may receive monetary compensation or other types or remuneration for our endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, and/or link to any products or services from this blog.

#Ar cook citrus squeezer

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amysubmits · 3 years

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“Just Knowing” & Communication

I got an ask recently asking if I could write something about how doms seem to sometimes “instinctively know” things about their sub, and how communication plays into that.

I thought it was a great point, and I had an experience that I’d been wanting to share in some way, that I thought would work well within that concept. Anyway, here goes...

I have shared experiences where CD reads my needs seamlessly. Those moments can feel almost magical and that makes me want to share them. I have occasionally heard from people who seem to think CD is nearly capable of reading my mind, as a result of posts like that. It’s not my intention to give that impression.

There are occasional moments where I am shocked at how he knows things I didn’t say. I’ve also shared that sometimes those moments where he perfectly meets my needs are often the moments where I feel the most owned. That’s because him knowing and meeting my needs feels so intensely intimate, and so much of our D/s comes down to emotional intimacy.

He isn’t a mind reader, though. We have been together over a decade now, and he’s observant. I think that deserves a big mention, when discussing how he ‘just knows’ things about me. He notices my body language, and how I react to things. He learns a lot about me by simply paying close attention. This is really important to me. Him naturally watching me, noticing my mood and such, is a big way that he makes me feel loved. I couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t naturally drawn to try to learn me, and pay close attention to me. Just him being someone who pays attention is a huge part of how I feel loved. It shows me that he wants to know as much as he can about me, and that he wants to meet my needs. More than that, his desire to want to learn my needs period, matters. There are some people who just don’t wish to get that deep with their partner, they don’t care to know their partner like the back of their had. That would be a problem, for me, because I do want that level of intimacy. Part of how I knew that CD had that desire for deeper intimacy, was how he tried to learn what he could by observing me.

At the same time, being mindful of your loved one’s body language, facial expressions and behaviors only goes so far. You can’t observe your way into knowing exactly what someone wants or needs. You just can’t. Certain things just have to be explicitly stated. While a good portion of our emotional intimacy comes from paying close attention to each other, more of it comes from our communication.

The truth is, there have been times where I’ve been frustrated that CD didn’t catch something. I’ve occasionally had the emotional reaction of almost feeling neglected because he didn’t notice something about me. And that? Is not a healthy reaction for me to have. That reaction is something I have to try to be conscious of, and I can’t allow myself to run away with those feelings. I have to recognize them and fight back against them. Because I can’t expect him to read my mind, or to pick up on everything, to ‘just know’ everything, or anything, really. If he isn’t aware of something, it is my responsibility to communicate.

We were new to D/s in particular, we talked about our needs and wants all the time, often daily. Getting started with D/s requires really thorough communication so that you know the boundaries and limits of the dynamic, and so that you know what is expected of each of you. Even though we tried to hammer out our dynamic in advance, we found ourselves experiencing scenarios that we weren’t sure how they ‘should’ be handled with our D/s, because we couldn’t pre-plan our D/s for how to go about every possible scenario that life may throw at us. So whenever we experienced something new and didn’t know how to handle it, we’d have to discuss how we wanted to handle it. Or in there cases we’d handle a situation and then realize we wished it had been handled differently, and we’d discuss that and plan to do differently next time.

After a while (many months?) it got to where we had the basics down and we didn’t need to talk about things as often anymore. We didn’t have to discuss it multiple times a week anymore, but perhaps a couple times a month was sufficient. Still, the frequency ebbs and flows. We go through phases, even now, 6 years in, of discussing our D/s more or less often. It mainly depends on whether we’re facing new things in life or making changes to our rules or the rest of our dynamic, or whether life is normal and our dynamic is unchanged. If we make changes, that means we’ll communicate about our D/s more often for a while, usually. Tons of what we know about each other and our needs are things we’ve learned through all that communication. Way more than we’ve learned by just observing each other.

Our “meta-talks” (discussions about our D/s) are perhaps one of the areas that I don’t give enough attention to on this blog. They’re often very private feeling, so it’s hard to feel comfortable sharing much about them.

A couple of months ago after a meta-talk, we came to the conclusion that it would be helpful for us to focus on making sure I feel very seen. It wasn’t that I had stopped feeling seen...but more that our current life circumstances were making me need to feel more seen than usual. Anyway, CD had me make him a list of things that made me feel seen, to share with him.

The things I shared on that list were all things he had done “naturally” before. So it was more about sharing with him what things he does that make me feel particularly seen. Still, I did over-think it, a little bit. I wondered if it would feel different for him to do these things for me after I shared them with him, rather than doing them purely instinctually, like he had in the past. Would it feel less genuine? Would I be able to absorb it and really effectively feel see if I suspected he was doing this for the purpose of making me feel seen?

Early on, I did feel a bit bashful or self-conscious when I noticed him doing those things a little bit more often. I felt a bit insecure like “Oh, he just thinks he has to do that because I need to feel more seen.” and for some reason that cheapened it a little in my mind, and also made me feel a bit selfish or something. Worrying about being a burden on people is a deep seeded insecurity of mine that comes in up all sorts of ways. So it’s not surprising that my brain tried to twist this into ‘he just feels obligated to’. Even early on when I was feeling those insecurities, I was feeling seen, at the same time. As more time went on though, those insecurities softened and I was able to recognize that these things were feeling fulfilling to him, too, which further eased my insecurities.

This is just one example of how our direct communication has benefitted our D/s. When this type of thing occurs over the course of many years, I hope you can imagine how that can assist with creating those “he just knows” moments.

I think a lot of good relationships have similar experiences with hesitating to share exactly what you want from your partner. The love is there, the good intent is there, but unless you tell your partner exactly what makes you feel the best...you can’t magically expect them to know. Yet many of us have this instinct that “I can’t tell them exactly how I’d like them to treat me, or it won’t be as ‘real’”.

I think D/s often complicates this issue even farther. Subs hesitate to ask for ‘too much’ because they don’t want to be too needy, or to feel like they’re taking charge or telling their doms what to do. Which I think is a valid concern. In my view, the answer to that potential problem isn’t to avoid sharing what make you feel good. Instead, it’s just to be mindful of the way that you are communicating, so that you are sharing the knowledge of your needs or desires without telling them what to do.

Communicating in great detail is a huge part of how we find the intimacy that we’re after with D/s. Understanding in detail what makes each other feel dominant and submissive does SO much to assist us with keeping our D/s on track, and to keep each other feeling loved and cared for. These deep, difficult, detailed discussions are also helpful to our D/s because they make me realize how safe our relationship is. That sense of security allows me to let go and be more submissive.

As I said earlier, I understand that instinct that if you tell someone exactly what you want, and then they do it, your initial instinct may be to feel like it’s less meaningful when they do it. Like asking for it somehow ‘cheapened’ it.

I think that is a largely misguided instinct, though. I think that if you tell someone what feels good to you, and they do it just to placate you or please you? You can tell they’re just phoning it in. And if you tell them what makes you feel good, and they do it because they enjoy making you feel good? You’ll feel that too.

It’s similar to how starting D/s worked for us. When I first asked for it, I worried it would be something he did just for me. But once he found meaning in it himself? I could tell that our D/s was fulfilling for him, that it was giving him joy, and that he was really feeling the connection with me through this dynamic. It was just easy to see that he was really ‘feeling it’. A similar thing can happen with "smaller” things such as specific acts of love, care or service.

#writing #sccwriting #d/s #domestic discipline

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lovecanbesostrange · 3 years

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since ouat never really cared about their werewolves, what do you think they can/can't do? I mean, if you could give their condition rules, what it would be like?

UUuuuuuuhhhhh, what a fun and delicious ask. The writers really never thought things through or gave us easy to understand lore. So, if I could have a say and make it all consistent? Here we go.

First up, the superspeed in human form goes. That is too much. Faster than average? For sure. Stronger as seen is fine by me. Let the wolves in humanform have an easy time to break bones, push others around and lift heavy things. Stamina surpassing the average human. And of course all the heightened senses as seen! Very important, everything is louder, smellier, brighter - very sensitive. (Can be used to overwhelm Ruby if need be. harrrrrr)

Something from the comics I'd be okay with is telepathy between wolves. That in their wolf form they can communicate with each other, not just with their animal noises, but telepathy. It's an interesting form of bond. But no communication with humans that way (also not in their human form). It's something that never mattered anyway, since Ruby is alone.

Now, for the most important thing that was glossed over - The Bite (tm). You can be born a wolf or you can be made one, so how does that work? The show tells us that Granny was bitten as a young girl and then the wolf came back and turned her. What does that mean? I propose that a wolf can't just bite anyone and *poof* now they're a wolf. There has to be a deliberate want behind. And let me go further, there has to be a connection between the wolf and the human. I'm not saying it has to be love, but familiarity, a need to add this human to your pack. And some form of willingness from the person being bitten.

Hear me out, outsiders will always talk about the Curse of the Werewolf. Because a person gets bitten, turns into a killing machine with fangs and claws during wolfstime. How horrible! The human family will say that someone was taken from them. But from the perspective of the new wolf, it's finding a new family, a new home, following the call of the wild, joining a pack. It's not easy and it breaks their heart a bit leaving behind what they know, but they will never be accepted in the human world again, right? They will be hunted. But they feel this deeper belonging as a Child of the Moon, it was in them before and when they met a wolf (maybe even in their human form, being drawn to something they couldn't explain)...

From the wolf perspective this is a gift. Marking someone is not be done lightly. And it happens only rarely. But when it does, it's the humans who get to tell the story and this is why werewolves are seen as beasts only. Well that and the unfortunate people being born a wolf, not knowing, having their tragic experiences like Red with Peter. Tragedy!!!

But obviously the bite isn't a curse, because curses can be broken with True Love (tm). Yes, Granny wasn't a fan of wolves, she saw ugly things and hoped her granddaughter would be spared. This is where my need for a Granny-centric episode comes on. Imagine meeting young Granny (imagine her having a canon name). @heartsways wrote something beautiful in her fic that I will now adopt as my headcanon. The reason Granny's wolf faded, apart from a few heightened senses, is that her husband died. So imagine a wolf dying and the ones he bit will not only lose the person, but also this gift. Angst! Layers! More tragedy! It's also why it so rarely happens, because the wolves understand that it is a high price to lose this life again like that. (It's also lifted somewhat from werewolf myths where you need to find the one who bit the person to lift the curse, but again, it's not a curse from the perspective of the wolves here.)

The other obvious thing - silver. Give me wolves that feel like almost indestructable killing machines. The skin so thick a normal sword will barely leave a mark, an arrow won't even stick. (A sharp blade with enough force should do damage, I mean, put a wolf under the guillotine and off that head goes.) But silver is their weakness. And while I am all for faster healing, let silver wounds carry between their forms, always. (Show me scars carry over in transformation.)

The wolf is strong and has many advantages, and since I believe in balance, the weakness against silver is within their human form. (All the jewelry Ruby wears? Lots of material, nothing silver though.) It's how somebody could try to find a wolf, having a silver coin or whatever, letting a suspect hold it and a wolf would react. Like a chemical burn. (Imagine Tamara and Greg doing that trick, that would be an amazing scene.)

Now, in the ideal world Ruby would been around for the whole show and to give her an arc, I'd introduce the concept that there are some werewolves, who master their shapeshifting abilities. Shifting independent of the moon.

Oh right, first I'd set this definite time frame for wolfstime. I'd give it the two nights before the full moon, full moon, and two nights after. So five nights of wolf fun. There.

But anyway, in S5 it's time to get Ruby an upgrade. She's confident in her powers and at peace with her wolf side. Which is key. For most even living in a pack, there is a lifelong struggle of the two sides. But Ruby is an expert now of living different lives, of seeing herself as a whole, made up of so many different ways she ever saw herself. Let there be a cunning shapeshifter around and give her a Big Damn Hero moment. Let her turn into a wolf when our beloved idiots are in dire need of help, give me proud wolf attacking to defend in brought daylight. It's super rare, but so is Ruby. (She should start flashing golden eyes every now and then from S4 onwards to build up to this.)

Other things - wolves are at an disadvantage against magic obviously, and yet maybe some spells don't work as easily against them. The whole strength can depend on the moon phase, like even as a human, they are a bit weaker during the new moon phase, so it's an ebb and flow that helps not being too powerful all the time. Explore that Ruby's sense of loyalty is part of her instinct package. (Girl will follow Snow into hell and back without question. Oh wait...) I'm totally here to add wolfsbane to the weakness list, because that's fun.

( @konako I’m tagging you, because if I’ve forgotten something, I’m sure you will remind me.)

#OUaT #Ruby Lucas #Granny Lucas #I have a few feelings about how to improve werewolf lore on that show...#anon ask

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anonthenullifier · 3 years

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Wanda and Vision are fighting on some Avengers mission and in the midst of a fight, Vision loses their connection after Wanda takes a nasty hit.

I do love some mission angst 😁 Hope you enjoy!

_____

From an outside perspective, the most parsimonious explanation for their synchronization would be hours upon hours of careful training, of learning maneuvers that combine their powers so that Wanda’s strengths support his weaknesses, and he in turn can bolster her. It is not an unfair conclusion, they have spent countless hours (2,327 to be exact) learning this dance, timing the steps that allow Wanda to distract and enrapture with her scarlet bursts long enough for Vision to phase into position and adjust to the best density for neutralization. Except it is not entirely accurate. What no one can perceive is the link between their minds, the flow of information and senses, every move of her body reverberating in his own muscles, every strategy instantly shared and dissected, every emotion linked, their thoughts an unseen ebb and flow.

“Vision,” Captain Rogers’ voice crackles into his mind half a second before it leaps into Wanda’s, her body tensing slightly at the intrusion, “need you up here with me now.”

“Understood.” He turns towards Wanda, not to inform her, the taut line of her mouth betrays her dislike of separating, but to assure her. “I will be back momentarily.”

The cock of her head to the side occurs in time with the flinging of her arm and a pulse of scarlet, another attack drone falling to the ground, its body split open and wires sparking. “I’ll be fine.”

Vision allows himself half a second to brush his fingers along her lower back, “I am aware,” and another half second to lay a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Be safe.”

Her you too is sent through their mental link as he lifts from the ground, rising ever higher until he reaches the approximate altitude of Captain Rogers, Wanda now a speck of red, powers thrown out like a vortex spinning round and round. Vision smiles at the sight, evening out his body to propel himself to the apex of the building where Captain Rogers waits.

“I know you can get here faster than that.”

It is not the first admonishment of his slightly delayed reaction time, “According to Protocol 65, Section 2a all Avengers are required to ensure their teammates are secure before leaving.”

Captain Rogers blinks twice, his equivalent of the eye roll he would get from Wanda or the smacking of lips Sam provides whenever Vision is being too impertinent, “Not sure our definitions of appropriate securing behaviors are the same.” Unlike the others, the man leaves the conversation there. “Need your help breaking the seal.”

A rough visual examination provides clarity to the statement. The hatch they’d strategically selected for entering the building is welded shut, small hash marks and craters informing him that Steve has already attempted to use his shield to break it. “Any parameters?”

“Schematics we got are from five years ago.”

Ignorance is Vision's least favorite starting point, the schematics streaming through his mind almost unusable given they are from before the supposed experimentation they are thwarting started. “I will do a sweep and then return.”

“Make it quick.”

The molecules of his body shift, density plummeting until he is merely a specter able to phase into the building. Even inside, he maintains his incorporealness lest there is some form of weight-triggered alarm. There is, or more accurately, there is a series of intricately threaded traps amalgamating into a tricky puzzle. Only you would be excited.

Whether the upward pull of his cheeks is from his own delight or Wanda’s, he cannot pinpoint the exact source. I would say intrigued more than excited.

He can feel the revolution of her eyes tugging at his own, taking comfort to have received the normative response since it means all is well. Stay focused, Vizh.

Yes, my love.

Heeding her own advice, the link drops to a tickle along his synapses, a ghost of her neural relay intermingling with his, an experience that used to be overwhelming but is now a source of calm. Slowly he begins phasing, twisting, and shorting out the wires.

“Vision, report.”

Even if Vision’s internal timekeeping was not precise, he would know it has been three minutes as that is the threshold of Captain Roger’s patience on a mission. “I am in the midst of disabling a sophisticated,” his heart begins to race, ramming back and forth as if trapped. “A um,” next comes a cloak of terror, the acidic taste of rising bile not his own, and though his muscles feel frenzied, his hands are calm minus a subtle tremor. “I believe Wanda might-“

Wanda’s slightly frantic voice shudders into the comms. “I need back-up.”

Instantly his body begins to respond, wires falling through his fingers until Steve’s voice shackles him in place, “Sam!”

“On it!”

As if nothing else is happening, as if his pulse is not racing nor his mind down in the battlefield, his stationary arms screaming to swipe without rhythm at the threat, Steve calmly states, “Vision, report.”

“I am,” he strives to keep his voice even, unaffected, knowing how their leader responds to any show of hesitancy, “disabling a sophisticated system of traps.”

“Keep at it.”

“Affirmative.”

He moves with urgency, three fourths of his mind honed in on the delicate puzzle beneath his fingers, while the other quarter remains with Wanda, trying to make sense of the chaos even she is overwhelmed by.

A force crashes into his chest, muscles screaming and lungs struggling to function. Vision straightens out, hand instantly running along the raised texture of his suit, but there is no injury, no threat before him. He reaches out to Wanda and is met with nothing.

His heart stops. Half a second, he reaches out. Nothing. Half a second, another reach. Silence.

He was born into this world alone, separate from humanity, so this is not a new feeling...except it has now been more than a year since he was ever truly alone in his mind. It is deafening.

An uncoordinated and risky pulse of energy sears away the last of the wires, the Mindstone buzzing as he builds up energy. “Captain, move to the side.”

“Um...roger that.”

Vision increases his auditory processor, waiting until he hears the subtle scrape of Steve’s boots to the side and then he unleashes the blast, the hatch door flying off into the distance. Mission etiquette, under Protocol 66, dictates he inform Steve of his flight trajectory, but Vision bypasses it under his own personal Protocol Wanda, bursting out from the building and flying in a straight line to where he left her, phasing and blasting away everything that gets in his way.

When he lands he spots Wanda immediately, slumped forward with her right arm splayed out in an unnatural curvature. There are approximately fifteen hybrid beasts between himself and Wanda, four actively engaged with Sam. Vision inhales, clenches his fists at the still absent mental link, and then he begins a waltz uniquely his own, body twisting and turning, hovering and diving, molecules solidifying and then dissipating as need be until there is nothing in his way.

“Wanda,” he falls onto his knees, hands easing underneath her torso to pry her off the ground before cradling her head to his chest. “Wanda…” An anatomical scan confirms she is breathing, her heart is thrumming, though both slower than they should. Other than potential cracked ribs and bruising, physically she will recover.

This is not comforting since the silence remains.

Vision runs his fingers through her hair, “Wanda.” There is no stirring, no sign of understanding or of her brain functioning to the level of cognitive awareness. Even when they are having a ridiculous spat over something, she still holds tight to his mind. He isn’t even sure he can think without her there to watch. Sam’s presence over his shoulder encourages his next thought to be internal, only for Wanda. I am afraid.

A non-synthetic neuron fires in his temporal lobe. He keeps going, urging her mind to act. I need you with me. Another electrical impulse, this time tracking deep into the amygdala. I love you. The flash of recognition cascades along the neural pathways of her brain, alighting his own into a frenzy of hope. Wanda, please come back to me. Four seconds of silence and then he feels the comforting spread of her powers in every crevice of his mind. There you are.

Though her eyes remain closed, it does not stop them from rolling or make him miss the infinitesimal quirk of her lips. Little melodramatic, Vizh.

All of his worry bubbles up into a half sob-half laugh, arms closing tighter around her until she winces . “Sorry...sorry ,” he loosens his hold, “you may have some broken ribs.”

“Kinda figured.”

The static of the comms precedes a fed up, “Is anyone going to report what is going on down there?”

From behind him Sam clicks his own device, “Just an operation love bird winding down.”

A strained, defeated, “Roger that, Sam.” causes Wanda’s nose to scrunch up, her head shaking slowly from side to side. “You’re getting written up again.”

The only demerits to his otherwise pristine mission record exist solely due to moments like these. “More than likely.” Careful not to aggravate her injuries, he slopes forward, lips hovering just over hers. I regret nothing.

Good. The rush of endorphins as their lips meet is amplified by their mental link, allowing them to move without thought or debate, when his head tilts right, hers goes left, their minds together and love perfectly synchronized

#vision #wanda maximoff #wandavision #scarlet vision #scarletvision #mine #ask anon

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xbaepsae · 4 years

Text

the ebb and flow | part five

“You wonder what goes on in that head of his—why he’s always popping up out of nowhere and causing your life to become just a tad unbalanced.”

[demigod!jeongguk x demigod!reader]

genre: percy jackson!au, mythology!au, demigod!au, enemies to lovers!au, action

word count: 2.3k

rating: pg-13

warnings: flaming arrows lol, some mentions of fighting (typical camp half-blood stuff, you know), the usual character bickering and tension

a/n: omg sorry this chapter took me two extra days to write lol. idk why it was so difficult. anyway, thanks for all the love for son of poseidon jk and daughter of athena reader :) i love them so much too. xoxo

→ series masterlist!

the second summer – in which it all begins

Mid-summer in Long Island is always hot, and it doesn’t make outside activities any better. Or more bearable. From your cabin, you stare out of a window at the almost noon sun and sigh—you are surely going to turn into burnt toast today.

“Going back to archery class today?”

You turn towards the voice. “Unfortunately.”

“Archery isn’t that bad,” Namjoon laughs.

“It is when you’re kind of bad at it,” you say, to which he doesn’t have a reply.

In your defense, you just picked up archery recently. It’s no longer something that’s a necessary skill to have—especially since you’re better at other things—so you didn’t bother taking the lessons with Chiron last year. Also, at the time, the flaming arrows terrified you anyway. However, now, you figured that you should try and master every skill offered here.

What you didn’t account for was having zero skill in the art of archery. And it’s frustrating, to say the least.

“I’m sure you’ll get better with time,” Namjoon finally says.

“I hope so.”

While Namjoon goes off to climb walls with satyrs, you go off to meet Chiron at the targets. When you arrive, there are already a few other campers armed with their bows. You settle beside Jung Hoseok, hoping that some of his natural skills in archery will rub off on you.

“Hey, y/n!” Hoseok’s enthusiastic as ever.

You offer him a half-smile. “Hey.”

“Excited?” he asks. “I think Chiron’s going to bust out the flaming arrows today.”

You gulp at the mention of fire. Even though you’re not scared of flaming arrows anymore—at least, the idea of them—you’re still a little nervous about actually having to hit the targets with one. “Um, cool?”

“It’s super easy, watch.”

As Chiron’s voice booms over everyone, you do as Hoseok says and watch as an arrow is doused in lighter fuel. Chiron fastens the arrow through his bow before he lights in on fire and hits a bullseye. Your mouth drops at how quick everything happens, shocked at how a flaming arrow seems much faster than a normal one.

The fire is quickly put out, probably to save the target from becoming fully disintegrated, and Chiron calls, “Okay, heroes, line-up behind one another.”

Since there are six targets, the group divides amongst each one. Hoseok immediately rushes into the front of the last target to be first, while you move to stand a few people behind him. You twist your head out of the line to watch as the son of Apollo confidently readies his bow and shoots his flaming arrow in a perfect bullseye. After a quick praise from Chiron, he moves off to the side so another camper can begin.

“Hoseok’s pretty good, huh?”

You jump at the sudden voice. Turning around, you spot Jeon Jeongguk inches away from you. “Oh my gods, what are you doing?”

“Here for archery practice, duh,” he says easily, but you don’t miss the mischievous glint in his eyes.

Last year, when you both arrived at camp for the first time, Jeongguk was relatively quiet and kept mostly to himself. Although, as time passed, he quickly became more outspoken and comfortable around everyone—a little too comfortable. The shyness was definitely a short-lived phase. You kind of miss it.

Now, he never shuts up and it’s starting to annoy you—especially when he pops up out of nowhere like this and messes with your focus. “You’re not in this class.”

“How would you know? Maybe I just got here late?”

You can’t help but roll your eyes. If there’s anything you’ve realized this summer, it’s that Jeongguk is always trying to pick a fight with you. Sometimes, you partake in his antics; however, right now, you’ve really got to focus. “Whatever, Jeon.”

Taking a step away from him, you realize that you’re already next up to shoot an arrow. The other campers are openly staring, which makes you nearly trip over your own feet.

“You’ve got this, y/n,” Chiron says, handing you an arrow.

Taking the arrow from him, you inhale deeply before dipping the tip in the fuel. Slipping the arrow in your bow, your nerves are in a bundle when Chiron lights it on fire and commands you to aim for the yellow center.

Instinct seems to take over as the nock passes through your fingertips. You watch in slow motion as your arrow propels through the air and lands in the red portion of the target. A shocked gasp leaves you lips at how close you got to the center; hitting red is better than what you did yesterday.

“Well done,” Chiron smiles, and you’re so glad he’s so patient with you.

“I’ll do better tomorrow,” you promise, and class is dismissed for the day.

Everyone begins to put their bows away; by the time you manage to do the same, Jeongguk is already long gone.

***

“I knew he wasn’t in archery with me.”

You were on your way to arts and crafts with Hephaestus’s cabin when Haru caught up to you. She asked you about your day in archery yesterday, and when you mentioned Jeongguk she was confused.

“Yeah, he’s in sword fighting with me,” she says.

“So, why was he by the range then?” you ask.

Haru frowns for a moment, before understanding fills her face. “Oh, that’s probably because we were scouting outside the area yesterday.”

“For what?”

“I guess our trainer wants us to get field experience? Outside of the arena. I think he decided on the field beside the archery range,” she explains, and you mutter an oh great. “Don’t worry though, we should be some distance away from you guys.”

Though you’re skeptical about that, you can’t really dwell too much about it because you’re already in front of the forge. You spend your hour in arts and crafts thinking about flaming arrows…and maybe Jeongguk too. But not in a way people might expect you to be thinking about him.

You wonder what goes on in that head of his—why he’s always popping up out of nowhere and causing your life to become just a tad unbalanced. Every time he’s around, you feel strange…like you can’t stand him at all. Jeongguk just makes you uncomfortable and you hate it.

By the time you are walking back to the archery range, he has gotten so deep underneath your skin that you swear you can hear his voice ringing in your ear.

“Why am I going crazy?” you mutter to no one but yourself, simultaneously shaking your head in the process. “What is wrong with—”

“Finally admitting that you’re crazy, miss goody-two-shoes? About time.”

Standing up straighter, you turn around and realize that you aren’t totally imagining things—the devil himself was actually behind you. You can’t help but narrow your eyes at him. “Why are you being so nosy, Jeon?”

“Anyone would’ve been able to hear that remark,” Jeongguk rolls his eyes, moving to walk ahead of you.

“Why did you lie yesterday and say that you were in archery?” you ask, but he doesn’t reply. Instead, he just continues on his merry way, past the targets and towards the adjacent field. You watch as he picks up the pace and begins to jog towards his instructor; you realize that you should probably do the same.

Today, Hoseok is, once again, first up to shoot an arrow. Chiron lets him shoot a few, and each one leaves your mouth hanging open. At this point, you think the son of Apollo is just showing off because every arrow that goes through his bow flawlessly hits a bullseye.

“How do you do that every time?” you ask him once the next person is up.

Hoseok just laughs. “It’s natural, I guess.”

“Wish that were me,” you muse.

“We all have different skill sets, y/n,” he attempts to console you. “I mean, you’re great with battle strategy—which is why Apollo always want to join Athena’s team.”

You conclude that he’s right—everyone is skilled in their own way. Besides, you can get better at archery with time anyway. You continue small talk with Hoseok until Chiron tells you that you’re next up. You drag yourself in front of the target and fasten the arrow through your bow. Staring at the target, you clear your mind of excess thoughts—you want to really focus on hitting the center. With a quick exhale, you propel the arrow through the air.

And it hits the center.

When you realize this, you begin jumping up and down. Chiron laughs through his congratulating remarks, before asking if you’d like another shot. “Of course, I want to do it again!”

Just as you begin to aim your bow and arrow, you hear a commotion to the left. Looking away from the target, you notice that things have gotten pretty hectic on the field where campers are practicing with their swords. Except, you realize that swords aren’t being used much—everyone has adapted to using their own special skills.

Demeter kids are sprouting things from the ground, Apollo kids are playing their lyres, and a certain son of Poseidon is blasting water cannons. For a moment, you wonder how this chaos even ensued; but that thought quickly fades when the commotion starts coming closer. Squash begins sprouting right by the range, but that’s not even the worse of it. A cannon of water comes out of nowhere and drenches your entire body, and you notice that everything seems to go silent after that.

Your camp shirt now hangs heavy on your body, and your sneakers feel disgustingly uncomfortable. Opening your eyes, you notice that everyone is staring at you with shock, but you can only see one person.

“Jeon Jeongguk!” You yell at the boy who only stands a few yards away from you. “You idiot!”

Even from this distance, you can see him struggle for words—a surprising feat since he always seems to have something smart to say. Taking a step closer to him, you aim your arrow for his head; it would be so easy to just knock him out. Jeongguk’s eyes fly wide at your stance; you wonder if he thinks you’re actually going to shoot.

Without even thinking twice, you let the arrow fly. But today seems to be Jeongguk’s lucky day because the arrow misses his head, landing in the tree right beside him. You notice him visibly exhale, but that relief quickly dissipates when his instructor practically pulls him by the ear and looks straight at you. “You, come with us.”

“B-But I didn’t do anything wrong!” You look to Chiron. “Jeongguk shot me with a water cannon—”

“I understand that you were only defending yourself, y/n, but you almost hit Jeongguk with an arrow. You’ll have to talk to Mr. D about this, I’m afraid.”

You can’t help but pout. Dionysus is always in a mood. But you obey anyway and make your way to the Big House. There, you find the god himself conjuring up a glass of wine from sunlight. You stare at the deep burgundy liquid before raising your eyes to the god. “I thought you were still stuck here for another few decades?”

Mr. D turns his gaze to you, lazily rolling his eyes. “Oh, my mistake—I seem to have forgotten.”

With the wave of his hand, the wine transforms into a can of Diet Coke. You would laugh at the displeased look on his face, but you know that you’re not Mr. D’s favorite camper right now. He takes a sip of the soda before turning to face you and Jeongguk.

“You and you heroes,” he sighs, “always causing trouble around here.”

“It was an accident, sir,” Jeongguk speaks up first, which is not surprising. He’s always trying to cover his own ass. “I didn’t mean to blast that canon of water towards the archery range. It was completely accidental. However, y/n aiming an arrow for my head is—”

You interrupt him, “Mr. D, how can a canon of water from yards away be an accident? I think it was completely on purpose.”

“The arrow was on purpose!” Jeongguk exclaims, turning towards you. “You were trying to kill me!”

Meeting his gaze with an eye roll, you say, “Oh, please, Jeon like I would ever—”

“Di immortales!” Mr. D suddenly yells. “Can you children shut up?”

Looking away from Jeongguk and towards your camp director, you notice the purple flames dancing in his eyes. An angry Dionysus always makes you tense. Often, you forget how much power this god actually has. He’s one of the twelve. You sink back and notice that Jeongguk does the same.

“Sorry, sir,” you both apologize quickly, and the purple flames lessen.

“I cannot stand mortals,” the god of wine clenches his teeth, “you both are insufferable. I’m starting to resent father for sending me here again!”

You don’t even know what to say. Mr. D sounds like a child right now.

“Ugh, just get out,” he continues, taking a sip of his Diet Coke, “you both are giving me a massive headache, and I’m in need of my daily nap.”

You blink; is Mr. D letting you both off the hook? No punishment? Before he can give you both one, you bid the god of wine goodbye and start walking out. Just as you’re about to push the doors open, Jeongguk’s voice stops you. “Just because Mr. D let us off the hook, doesn’t mean I’m going to forget that you nearly killed me today.”

Turning around, you look Jeongguk dead in the eye. “Are you trying to start something with me, Jeon? Because you shouldn’t start things you can’t finish.”

“Is that a threat?” he asks, a single brow raised.

“I guess you better watch your back,” you say and push the doors open before he can say anything else.

#armiesnet #btsbookclub #btswriterscollective #bangtan bookclub #jungkook fic #jeongguk fic #bts scnearios #kpop scenarios #bts #bangtan #bts percy jackson au #percy jackson au #demigod au #mythology au #action #drabble series #the ebb and flow #xbaepsae

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lihikainanea · 4 years

Note

You know those moments in a relationship, when you're a little bit tired, a little bit annoyed and a little bit over it. You love one another, but you're working through that very natural phase of just not being that into each other. However, the sexual tension is still palpable, because in those moments it's sometimes easier in bed. It's easier to pretend at night time. Easier to just fuck your way through those natural arcs of frustration. How would Bill and Tiger handle those moments?

You know what I love about this? How absolutely, unbelievably, incredibly human this is.

People drift apart. Couples drift apart. Relationships tend to have this kind of natural ebb and flow--passionate at times, completely stagnant at others. Friendships are a little easier to navigate, we’ve all had friendships that are jiving at one point and stale the next but I feel like there’s always less at stake. Friendships maybe have less ties, they can recuperate faster from things like this.

Romantic relationships though? Oh, that’s tricky. When things like a legal marriage are involved, where leaving could mean that you literally lose half your income and your assets. When something like a kid is involved, where leaving could mean you only see them every second week and maybe you just can’t be a single parent. People stay for reasons that maybe they shouldn’t. People leave when maybe they should have just tried a little harder. These are real life decisions, and god it’s why I cringe so hard sometimes when I hear people talk about a couple. There are so many internal workings. People lie to their friends. They lie to their partner. They lie to themselves. Sometimes, one convenient reason to stay beats a million logical, desperate reasons to go and that’s...that’s life. Life is not always about choosing whatever option is best for you.

Life is about choosing whichever bad option hurts you less sometimes.

A side note, but I think some of the reason why I’m so critical of couples that I have no business being critical of (it’s never anyone’s place to judge), and why I roll my eyes at all of this GOALS!!!111 talk is just...like, what’s the statistic? 80% or something? 80% of couples fail. One of my absolute career heroes broke it down in a very logical way for me--this woman is extraordinary. You have seen her on the news. She is a powerhouse, she is fearless.

She is in a loveless marriage with a 10 year old son, and she’s staying because her kid is really sensitive and because being a single mother is just impossible for her, at the moment. That’s literally it. That’s why she’s staying with her husband. Because it’s practical, and because it’s the only feasible solution for her.

This is just....life.

But look man, tiger and Bill? They’ve been here before. And I think the only thing that saves them is their deep foundation as best friends before any of the sex started happening, and the respect that comes with being best friends. I’ve ranted on here before but part of my resistance for labelling them as an actual couple is because of that exact fact: I have met far more couples who take this term of girlfriend or boyfriend as an excuse to seriously disrespect their other human. Couples, over time, just seem to develop this extreme distaste for one another.

Best friends though? Shit son, that bond only seems to deepen over time. I would never speak to my best friend the way that I have sometimes caught myself speaking to a significant other. I don’t know why, but for some reason, a lot of us seem to take some big liberties when romance becomes involved.

These two, though? Listen, they have had years of very frankly, very directly, calling one another out on their bullshit. I think that bond, that’s really the only thing that saves them. Because this scenario, this isn’t any extreme emotion. This is just....blah. Something that was hot and heavy before just hit its natural peak and now it’s...blah.

I love the way you worded it. That it’s easier in bed. That it’s easier to pretend at night time. Sexual attraction often has little to do with actual compatibility, with emotion, with commitment. And these two--man, they know their way around the other. Tiger knows all of his on buttons, and he knows every single one of hers. It becomes less about emotion, less about spark, and more just about...scratching the itch. Both are human. Both get horny. Both know the other is real easy for them, and for at least half an hour, it’s some good feelings. It’s some fire put back into their jive for just a few minutes.

I think though...I think both of them are so rooted in touch, and I think that ultimately it’s the kissing that ends up sealing the deal. Couples do that, you know? To me, it has always been the marker of the end of a relationship--when the kissing becomes routine. A kiss hello. A kiss goodbye. A goodnight kiss. These are the relationship equivalent of a handshake.

When the spontaneous kisses disappear--the passionate ones in the hallway, where they cross each other and he loops an arm around her and pulls her in as she giggles. The sweet ones in the kitchen, when he’s chopping something and she just ducks into his vision, stealing a quick one from his lips as he squeaks in surprise because he didn’t even hear her approach. The soft ones in the morning, when he’s still asleep and she’s just pressing her lips gently all over his chest.

When this stops, they both know they’re in trouble.

but like it’s impossible to tell when it stops you know? God this shit sneaks up on you like that. Neither one of them realize, but I think eventually...I kind of love that it’s tiger, that lays it out on the table. That calls attention to it. And maybe it’s one week on a Tuesday--because the sex nights have become Tuesdays and Fridays, every week without fail--I think maybe when Bill reaches for her, she sits up and stays his hands.

“You don’t kiss me anymore,” she says quietly. Bill stops.

“Uh, I’m pretty sure I was just about to,” he huffs.

“You know what I mean bud,” she says softly, “We don’t kiss anymore.”

And Bill, for all of his incredible traits when it comes to her--the Big Dude is still very, very defensive. It’s his Achilles heel. It’s his knee-jerk reaction to being the middle child in a family that is fucking drenched in talent. When someone calls him out--someone he loves, someone he trusts--his immediate reaction is to be defensive.

“Last I checked kissing involved two people kid,” he snaps, “I don’t see you starting anything either. In fact, why am I always the one who--”

“No,” tiger says calmly, and it’s so eerily calm that Bill just...shuts up.

“Cards on the table,” she continues, “I’m calling it out.”

“Calling what out?”

“Calling this out,” she says, “I miss you.”

Bill stares at her, wide and unblinking.

“I’m right fucking--”

A hand, gentle but firm, clamps over his mouth.

“You do not get to talk to me that way,” she says and it’s still calm, “We mean too much to each other. Bill, I miss you.”

Bill removes her hand from his mouth.

“Tiger,” he seethes, and god it’s that quiet anger, “I don’t know what the fuck--”

“I miss you,” she interrupts. And the more she’s saying it...god it’s like she’s admitting it to herself. Admitting that something changed, and somewhere along the way, they lost their way. A lump forms in her throat.

“What the hell do you think--”

“Bill, I miss you,” she repeats, and a few tears escape.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re going on about kid,” he seems angry now, but tiger knows him. She knows him well. And the more she pokes at this wound, this vulnerability--eventually, the light will shine through this crack. And he’s cracking. She knows he is. She reaches a hand out, resting it over one of his and he doesn’t pull away.

“I miss you,” she says again, as the tears slowly trickle down her cheeks.

“This is fucking unbelievable--”

“Bill, I miss you,” she’s a broken record, but Bill shoves the blankets back and swings his legs over the bed.

“Then you can miss me when I’m not right fucking beside you,” he snaps, reaching for his pyjama bottoms. Tiger reaches out, wraps a hand loosely around his arm, kisses his shoulder.

“I miss you,” she whispers against the skin of his back, and she feels him tense. His muscles, alert and ready to bolt, bunch under her hands. He stays still for several minutes, her tears wetting his skin, and he doesn’t move.

But eventually, he lets out a deep sigh. One that doesn’t at all deflate him, one that doesn’t even move his statuesque frame.

“This is not my fault,” he whispers into the darkness, and tiger’s heart breaks. It breaks at the fact that he thinks this is about blame, that he automatically thinks the blame is his.

“No it’s not,” she tells him, “It’s our fault. We both let it get this way, bud.”

He doesn’t say anything, he still doesn’t move, and tiger presses a gentle kiss to the back of his neck.

“But I want to save it. This. I want to fight for this,” she says, and she pauses for a hard swallow before she asks the question that she mildly dreads the answer to. “...do you?”

He’s quiet. He’s quiet for too long, or at least long enough for her to panic. She whimpers, sliding off the bed and crouching in front of him as she takes his face in her hands.

“Bill look at me,” she pleads, “Do you? Want to fight for this?”

His eyes drink her in. And you know, Bonehead Bill. He knows his answer, but it’s like his brain taps out and he forgets to articulate it to her. But this girl kneeling in front of him? She’s his world. His sun, his moon, and every fucking one of his stars. He would fight anything and everyone, for her. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. And he knows this, he thinks this, but right now he’s so caught up in thinking that this is just...this is all his fault. He let her feel unwanted. He let this get to where it is. And with him so deep in his own head, he doesn’t even realize how silent he’s being to her questions and how much panic it’s triggering in her.

“Because if you don’t, it’s fine,” she’s starting to wheeze, her speech coming out fast and frantic, “But you owe it to me to fucking tell me, Bill. To end it definitively, right fucking now, because I--”

“Tiger,” he snaps out of it when his brain focuses on her wheeze, and he instinctively reaches for her inhaler in his nightstand drawer, “Yes. Yes, kid. I...I want to fight for this.”

Like a well coordinated dance, he cups her jaw and holds the inhaler to her lips. She puts her mouth on it and he times a dose with her next inhale, setting the device to the side as he brings his other hand around to cup her face. He strokes her cheeks, taking a long minute to stare into her eyes--her eyes that are pleading, filled with tears, and god he hates himself.

“This is my fault,” he murmurs, and tiger lets out a long exhale once the medicine is absorbed.

“No,” she leans her forehead on his knee and his hands thread into her hair, “Bill, this is us. We’re in this together. We both did this, and we’re both going to work our way out of it.”

He clutches at her, his hands fisting gently in her hair. He swallows around the lump in his own throat.

“How?”

For the first time in their relationship, he’s just...he’s at a complete loss. He doesn’t know how to fix it.

“Together,” she says, reaching out to cup his jaw and he places a gentle kiss on her palm, “Bill, together. With open minds. With honesty. We will talk it out. We will work it out. We will decide--together--if we need counselling for it. Or if we can fix it ourselves.”

He nods solemnly, running his thumb over her bottom lip. He tugs at her, pulling her up until she’s in his lap and she presses her forehead to his.

“But the first thing we need to do is decide--together--if we’re going to fight for this. I’m all in, bud. That’s where I stand. I want this, I want you, and I will give my everything every step of the way to make this right again,” she tells him. She holds her hand out, spread out in front of him.

“Where do you stand?” she asks quietly. His eyes flick to hers, and he holds her nervous gaze.

“I’m all in kid,” he murmurs, and he loops his fingers through hers, “When it comes to you? I’m all in. I want this. You have my everything every step of the way, too.”

She kisses him slowly, her hand clasped tightly in his as he hugs her closer to him.

“Promises,” she murmurs against his lips, “I’ve got promises to keep.”

“And miles to go before I sleep,” he whispers back.

#oh look #WE UGLY CRYIN IN THE CLUB TONIGHT #bill skarsgard #BFF!Bill #this is the #HEARTBREAK #HOTEL #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #angst #bill skarsgard drabble

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transcendentalpisces · 3 years

Text

The Feminine Rhythm Log: Cancer ♋

The Feminine Rhythm Log: Cancer

Despite the countless studies debunking the moon cycles relation to the bleeding cycle, I beg to differ, and my study specifically honors the reality of the relationship between my womb cycle and the lunar cycle.

The archetype of the moon in nature shows the reflection of the sun exposing the dark. In astrology, the moon is symbolic of the mother, the home (cooking, gardening, atmosphere), ancestral land/culture, reactions, and feelings respectively. In astrological houses, the 4th house which governs that of the moon, as well as the womb, is before the house of Leo representing children, joy, entertainment, pleasure, and performance respectively. Before the female can produce a child, her egg must plant itself inside of her and be re-absorbed by the body as the lining of the uterus sheds through the vagina, also known as menstruation. The menstruation cycle is repeated every month for an average of 28 days. The lunar cycle, similarly, is repeated every month for an average of 29.5 days.

Menstruation takes place for about 7 days while the moon changes phases every 7.4 days. The correlation between both synchronistic durations have been studied for centuries and even holds meaning in ancient civilizations, although we must keep in mind that contraceptives and other means to stop periods long-term exist and thus will alter this study case by case.

The moon sign and phase that falls on the first day of the cycle holds importance in by which vital information is being shown to the woman (relating to her inner life). For example the signs element and modality may explore the current feelings of the woman or what she desires. In my case when my period followed through on waxing gibbous Libra moons, this led me to follow my own symbology as it stands with them both. Each woman has the ability to trust her own intuition as it pertains to her cycle and her own personal meanings behind what words and energy mean in her own life. It is important to note the ebbs and flows of the energy being experienced throughout time and focused themes and feelings in ones life when taking into account what moon phase and sign is repeating; if at all.

The waxing gibbous is the moon phase that is presented anywhere from 3-5 days before the full moon. It is a time for preparation and harvesting what we have gathered from the previous moon days as well as checking and perfecting. Sounds a lot to me like the archetype of Virgo LOL. The waxing gibbous urges us to take one last check around our surroundings before the party truly begins; a party where we can either sit and relax/ be confronted with the shadow energy of that which we have been ignoring.

The astrological sign of libra is associated with relationships, partners, contracts, justice, truth, and (outer) beauty respectively. It is represented by the scales and is the only astrological symbol represented by an inanimate object, pointing toward its detachment and sense of order to achieve balance. In medical astrology it rules over the kidneys and some of its functions include:

maintaining overall fluid balance

regulating and filtering minerals from blood

filtering waste materials from food, medications, and toxic substances

creating hormones that help produce red blood cells, promote bone health, and regulate blood pressure[1]

Libra is a cardinal (initiator) air (mind, thoughts, communication) sign, ruled by the planet Venus (love, resources, grace) and characteristics of Libras tend to include charming, flirtatious, vain, ditsy, and clingy. So what did it mean when my periods began on Friday (ruling day of Venus), moon in Libras? Well around these times I was focused heavily on my relationship to femininity and how expressing it, authentically and naturally, looked to me. Throughout my childhood and adolescence I longed for tenderness, and lacked that from most female figures but especially my mother. When I reflected over my own symbology of femininity, a new softer, aware version of what I needed and how I was going to give it to myself exploded. My relationship to solar and lunar Libras around me followed suit as well, being introduced to many new Libras in my life and the overwhelming amount of conversation around me whether publicly or personally surrounded the notion of balance. Even my solar return ascendant for the year was in Libra.

My feelings about the lack of nurturance received as a child and growing up was pushed to the background because it was too difficult to innerstand and thus I chose to ignore it. I believe that Libra was presenting just how imbalanced my inner life was, being that I barely received or gave physical affection to anyone. In my natal astrological chart, Libra sits on the cusp of the 8th house. The 8th house in the astrological houses governs intimacy, shared resources, exchanges (whether through sex, the mind, or monetary), death, and transformation respectively. I also natally work with Venus in Capricorn opposite moon in Cancer, which is the push and pull between what you need and how you receive it. Oftentimes oppositions can show struggle, in my case between how I wish to give and receive affection and my feelings inside. Also with moon square Saturn being one of the two tightest aspects in my chart, my moon was stuck between a rock and hard place.

In Human Affection Exchange: XV. Metabolic and Cardiovascular Correlates of Trait Expressed Affection by Kory Floyd, Colin Hesse, & Mark T. Haynes relay their study on the correlation between physical affection and blood pressure.

Introduction of study: Recent research on the communication of affection has begun to illuminate its implications for mental and physical health. Specifically, when compared to non-affectionate people, self report studies have indicated that highly affectionate people are less suscep-tible to depression and stress, and endocrine studies have shown that highly affectionate people have more differentiated 24-hour cortisol rhythms (a pattern indicative of adapt-ive physiological stress management). The present studies extend this knowledge by focus-ing on the associations that trait affection has with cardiologic (resting heart rate),vascular (resting blood pressure), and metabolic (glycosylated hemoglobin) properties of physical health. Participants in both studies provided self-assessments of their trait levels of expressed affection and received affection (the latter for use as a covariate). Resting heart rate and blood pressure were assessed in the first study, and glycosylated hemoglobin was assessed in the second study. Results indicate that when the influence of received affection is controlled for, trait expressed affection was inversely related to resting blood pressure and glycosylated hemoglobin (but not heart rate), suggesting that the expression of affection is associated with a healthy vascular and metabolic profile.[2]

[1] Jewell, Tim. Kidney: Function and Anatomy, Diagram, Condition, and Health Tips. (2018).

[2] Floyd, Kory , Hesse, Colin and Haynes, Mark T.(2007) 'Human Affection Exchange: XV. Metabolic and Cardiovascular Correlates of Trait Expressed Affection', Communication Quarterly, 55: 1, 79 — 94

#femininity #nature #mooncycle #astrology #personal research #mywriting #affection #cancer #libra #medical astrology #kidneys #womb

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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15.11 and moving forward

Some of you may have seen my Putrefied in Purgatory video surrounding 15.09. Putrefaction is the reduction of a material to its barest state for a new foundation, rotting away to the alchemical Blackened state to rebuild on new stages of whitening (which seemed to crest in 15.10 for Dean), then yellowing and reddening en route, though for completion there's other stages ahead of us (as per what I lended towards in Philosopher's Gold, also 15.09 video.)

But I think what I need to do is discuss the tree.

SO MOVING FORWARD, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN ALCHEMY AND QABBALAH SPN LAND. GLAD YOU ASKED, NOBODY.

I *AM* gonna need you to bear with me right now, because I’m about to data-dump out a bunch of information and then go back over and explain how this is connecting to what Andrew Fucking Dabb and company are doing actively, episode by episode. If you don’t get it on first read, that’s fine, once I start putting it in terms and concepts and show stuff you get, scroll back and re-digest in frame.

Okay so, let’s drop some points. You may have remembered me making early videos of Belphegor as the ruler of Thagirion after 15.01 (x) and later, one called Worthy of Love for Tiphareth (x), but not before he who blocks and hampers the heart guides walked them through flames they were not yet ready to access (x), causing an unlevel involution between the Three Principles with Castiel reaching a reddening while Dean sat in darkness and Sam struggled to maintain his own light.

This is going to become very important to my babbling, but the concept is that there is a nega/void/blockage version of the tree that has “evil” versions of each node. Tiphareth’s shadow is Thagirion. Tiphareth is the essence of love, true and genuine. It dominates the heart chakra, and its disputer, Belphegor, the blocker, is he who does not believe in love and observes marriages for dissent and further aggitates the blockage in the path. Sound familiar?

This Sephira is in some respects the most important of all. It is the centre of the whole system; it is the only Sephira below the Abyss which communicates directly with Kether. (Think crown/godhead/source -- white node #1) It is fed directly from Chokmah and Binah; also from Chesed and Geburah. (I’ll... get into these another time, they’re a higher segment) It is thus admirably fitted to dominate the lower Sephiroth; it is balanced both vertically and horizontally. In the planetary system it represents the Sun; in the system of Tetragrammaton it represents the Son. In other words, the Son is an interpretation of the Father in terms of the Mind. [Tiphareth is] thus representative of [the four] elements at their practical best. (Book of Thoth, p.181)

You don’t say. (vaguely screams into fist about who and what the Mind is and who and what the Father in this Aeon is)

Soft Husband Gaze Dot Gif not found in tumblr search so I’ma nab and tag another by @starsmish

Dean and Cas’ blowout over Jack, “you’re dead to me”, was over Cas knowing something was wrong with Jack, and not telling them, and Dean’s anger leading to distrust.

That was putrefied in purgatory, everything laid bare. And while they haven’t had their heart to heart yet (that big good omens energy shot is probably from 12, a bobocuda episode like The Future was), here–

Cas already had his gasping, shocked, clutched reunion with the son. Sam came home and gave a squeeze too.

But Dean walked up, put a hand behind his son’s neck, stared deeply into his eyes to see if it was him. And, as if doubting himself, looked to his somber husband, who silently communicated and affirmed it, and Dean knew, and trusted, and believed, and their son was home.

Someone launch me to jupiter please

oh wait neverfuckingmind, Dabb and co are working on that shortly.

Tiphareth, the heart, is the central vein, the power between godhood and the terrestrial earth as manifest in Malkuth.

I had pointed out the choice taste in Dean emerging from black in a white suit to look into yellow light and past red drapes in 15.10 and that Dean seemed to be approaching his whitening, but that’s even truer now.

The phases I speak of bear relevance to these.

Just--humor me and see earth as the blackened base from the human perspective, even if the blackened base of the Shadow of Man lies beneath the Ain Soph (which I’ll show some inverted trees for later). I’ve spoken of lunar light in regards to the whitening before, and it even rose in my Reflection video about crucifying the ego before it was too late (x) (please mind the video was made a year ago now based on hermetic pattern spec) “The moon gives me her secret, a confidant; as full and bright as I am, this light is not my own and a million light reflections pass over me.”

(aside re: crucifying the ego, it’s about removing the blackened snake of our unrefined parts of the self, similar to putrefaction, so a step we just crossed)

In alchemy, albedo is one of the four major stages of the magnum opus, along with nigredo, citrinitas/xanthosis and rubedo. It is a Latinicized term meaning "whiteness". Following the chaos or massa confusa of the nigredo stage, the alchemist undertakes a purification or rectification in albedo, which is literally referred to as ablutio or absolution – the washing away of impurities. This phase is concerned with "bringing light and clarity to the prima materia (personal material)". But the transmutational state is ... well.

“The whitening phase is ruled by the moon and as such is reflective, in that it does not have its own light. The maturation of the whitening happens via reflection and is often described as mirroring. The reflective processes, of thinking and feeling, dominate the direct experiences of intuition, sensation and imagination. Knowledge is King, and Mystery is banished by the whitening ego's searchlight. Perfection is idealised, and imperfection seen as weakness. Immediate gratification is expected. Nothing is allowed to mature. Lacking true wisdom, we are children in adult's bodies. Our leaders lack the vision to see the real problems, and the guts to really change things.

“The first main goal of the process... highly prized by many alchemists... is the silver or moon condition, which still has to be raised to the sun condition. The albedo [whitening], is so to speak, the daybreak, but not till the rubedo [reddening] is it sunrise. The transition to the rubedo is formed by the citrinitas [yellowing], though this, as we said, was omitted later.” (x)

Now let’s take a look at how that applies to Yesod in the middle pillar, above Malkuth, both of which gain power from light *elsewhere* -- that is, Tiphareth.

Of Yesod:

“After the double excursion into misfortune, (Hod and Netzach) the current returns to the middle pillar. This Sephira is the seat of the great crystallization of Energy. But it takes place very far down the Tree, at the apex of the third descending triangle, and a flat triangle at that. There is little help from low, unbalanced spheres like Netzach and Hod. What saves Yesod is the direct ray from Tiphareth; this Sephira is in the direct line of succession. (Book of Thoth) “

Yesod is that subtle basis upon which the physical world is based....It is the Astral Plane, which in one sense being passive and reflecting energies from above is lunar, even as the moon reflects the light of the sun. The Astral Light is an omnipresent and all-permeating fluid or medium of extremely subtle matter; substance in a highly tenuous state, electric and magnetic in constitution, which is the model upon which the physical world is built. It is the endless, changeless, ebb and flow of the world's forces that, in the last resort, guarantee the stability of the world and provides its foundation. [...] The general conception of Yesod is of change with stability. (Regardie, 1994)

So let’s take a quick aside on that double journey into instability in Hod and netzach, and I’ll leave everyone to think of how this correlates now.

The position of Netzach is doubly unbalanced; off the middle pillar, and very low down on the Tree. It is taking a very great risk to descend so far into illusion, and, above all, to do it by frantic struggle. Netzach pertains to Venus...and the greatest catastrophe that can befall Venus is to lose her Heavenly origin. (Book of Thoth, p.182)

The sphere of Hod represents on a very much lower plane similar qualities to those obtaining in Chokmah. It is the lower plane, first primitive version of union and sharing between the divine masculine and feminine (SPN video recs [x], [x] ) as mirrored to Netzach’s above details.

So we’ve got... lesser unions *scrolls over 15.9* cast down Mark wedding, check, from a blackened putrified base of Malkuth not yet even fully acquiring its own awareness of reflected light in Yesod or Albedo. 15.10 Dean does seem to start gaining some sense of light and dream, if reflected off of imaginings of others while coming out from behind the curtain *checks* but it’s not fully manifest yet. Now the heroes struggle through descending into illusion and frantic struggle, questioning all they know in existence, or their “luck”. *checks*

Now, Fortuna tells our heroes a good deal of what we knew they needed to hear. In the end it really isn’t about their luck. Heroes aren’t extinct, but it’s not about playing god’s game, it’s about playing their own. The divine feminine told them the secrets of the gods and, in a way, it is the steps towards mastering their human sovereignty.

Notice the lunar card path lending towards the lunar Yesod node, for example, even using arcana -- given this is Grey’s system, there’s a few others.

Uh, ignore the given card/highlighted path for now, that’s there for reasons you may recognize that I’ll bang on about elsewhere.(Aeon, for the record, is basically the same as Judgement and World=Universe, and Lust=Strength different naming system -- you’ll notice the second names on the first chart apply here, though in a matter of descending vs ascending. A few are different; and I’m not gonna pledge up and down which version Dabb is using, so I’m more going to take the raw idea that works across multiple models)

In the interim -- and defaulting back to Tiphareth after following the path of the Sun through Art, towards the philosopher’s stone of unabridged love, marriage, the sun and the son, the moon reflects the light of the sun, the Rising Sun, albeit not yet back to its proper reddening -- the yellow familial light I’ve banged on about in this show, even beyond our romantic pairings. The sun had been lost and the family and the three principles fell into chaos, needing to rebuild. And yet, as Castiel brings home Jack, we see the growth even in these few episodes:

With pain and distrust betrayed in purgatory, over having failed to communicate issues with Jack, once everything was laid bare and rotten to base to rebuild in Purgatory, Dean looked to Castiel after doubting himself staring into Jack’s eyes to know if their son was truly home, and by a look, he knew, and accepted, and as weighty as it was, that family was complete.

Back to Tiphareth as the four elements in harmony, we have our future playing field here.

I will tap back to Hod reflecting Chokmah though, at a lesser value, by citing some points of Chokmah: “male creative energy, wisdom and the expression of a single idea in terms of duality. It transmits the idea of the divine unity to its feminine counterpart, the understanding, somewhat as a man transmits the essence of his character to his wife so that he perceives his inmost nature, itself unintelligible to him directly, by observing the flowering of that essence in his son. “

Cough. blossom.

Anyway,

the yellowing is upon them all now, in actual harmony, with the return of the sun by which to reflect their light in Yesod, but furthermore, to step forward.

Hm. What saves Yesod is the direct ray from Tiphareth.

Their su/on. Is home. And the yellow light, if faint at first, as they come to speak, has returned, lingering between them. The yellowing itself comes from moving into a form of being where one’s own soul is less a reflected light of the grand scheme of things and one’s own personal, generated light, and that is landing upon us shortly.

To like, fully break down this path shit I’d have to go full like alchemical sermon here, but I’m more trying to map out just how artistically rendered this show is using these paths.

So where do we go now? The crown, Kether, is our goal. But we’re not ready to Priestess rocket straight that direction, as much as there’s still a strong overshadow of Kether upon them, even if the Star’s light descending leads towards hope.

But we’ve left the primitive base triangle now. Geburah and Chesed await.

Geburah:

The introduction of the number Five shows the idea of motion coming to the aid of that of matter...The result is a complete upset of the statically stabilized system. Now appear storm and stress. (The Book of Thoth, p.180)

Despite the fact that Geburah is a feminine potency, as are all Sephiros [sic] on the left-hand column of the Tree, practically all its attributions are male and vigorous...This is not confusion of thought, but a recognition of the necessity for equilibrium." (Regardie, 1994)

Geburah represents on a much lower plane the Sakti force-element attributed to Binah. (Regardie, 1994)

The quality of Geburah is summed up in the general idea of strength and power and force. Its card based attributions are strife, disappointment, defeat, and worry. That which the heart must overcome with strength.

Chesed:

Lots of crazy mystic math involved but summarily Righteousness, Mercy, and Love, combining seemingly diverse ideas.

"below the Abyss"; therefore, in practice, it means solidification, materialization. Things have become manifest. The essential point is that it expresses the Rule of Law...The manifestation promised by Binah has now taken place. Chesed...is the highest idea which can be understood in an intellectual way. (The Book of Thoth).

These are given to travel to Chokmah (which I’ve noted already) and Binah “For she is omniform as Love and as Death, the Great Sea whence all Life springs, and whose black womb reabsorbs all. She thus resumes in herself the duplex process of the Formula of Love under Will" (Little Esssays Towards Truth, "Love") - planetary association Saturn, so you may.. *gestures back at other videos* (x)

Like... Rowena’s Reverse Womb Symbolism Dot Jaypeg, “Death is an infinite vessel.” (reminder drop x)

“In short, Binah is the substantive vehicle of every possible phenomenon, physical or mental” (Regardie, 1994)

opposite chokmah, as above mentioned in the masculine presence of the union to meet the godhead.

These lovers must still walk different paths for a time, but will meet across the void of hidden knowledge before standing at the crown, if only after facing their strife and personal strength, taking the understanding of the moon and fortuna, to not play another’s game, to blossom into holding one’s own light along with completion in the family unit, and to find wisdom in the hidden things between them, by which the aged hermit, the hierophant, he who held the unofficiated wedding’s gold, the incomplete, lesser manifestation at Hod, and formerly cast it down -- as his foundation to approach the crown.

At more immediate, Netzach is also led forward by Fortune or Fortuna towards Chesed. The Hermit, a role Sam has heavily embodied on his Hierophant path, crosses from Tiphareth. As the one that impressed Fortuna, Sam is likely the one to hold the torch of her words right now, and figure out how to make Chuck play their game. Whereas Hod travels the road of the Hanged Man, each to find their strength sourced upward from Tiphareth, the heart, the sun, the son, the marriage, the family light, the yellowing, with adjustment through Tiphareth removing some of the pillar of severity and the hanged man road ahead of the struggling, still separated union.

Death descends from Binah to Geburah, enacting her volatile change and meeting the path of the hanged man, empowered by heart and adjustment; the hierophant will meet and become the hermit at Chesed. The path of the united lovers is an inevitability in any system rising from the heart towards the path of the hanged man in affiliation with the divine feminine, death's forces included; and the hierophant enacts the emperor on way to the divine masculine. The Emperor and Empress' marriage will end up being the fundament by which to face that final triangle of upper creation.

For those of you who remember me banging on about Art/Temperance versus Lovers arcana all goddamn hiatus, enjoy seeing them spawn out of Tiphareth there.

Here the red eagle and white lion commune and share in their parts, for the restoration of the golden orphic (x) child and great work under the hands of the Hierophant against the pillars of overseeing divine fem/masc (here represented in Adam and Lilith, other versions Adam and Eve)

Just... honestly just read this (x) if you want to know more about how each of these elementson those cards correspond to the above paths.

So I guess this is a really long magical way of shipper Sam is gonna have to get these two knuckleheads cosmically married and complete before standing as the godman and subverting the allfather with the rebirth of the heart and their su/on. And hopefully not have Eileen recreate the Rowena thing on the way. Or Cas for that matter.

The complete deconstruction of the lovers in purgatory was necessary, having been in the cursed and evil, inverted tree and blocked at Tiphareth. Now we can build forward in light and knowledge and the sovereign journey of man, even if it has its pitfalls and misfortunes. The Empress’ marriage to the Emperor makes foundation for the Fool (which isn’t what it sounds like) and the Magician’s completed work, finalizing the top triangle of unity to complete their magnum opus against god. Man created the gods, and are to soon prove themselves the equal of him.

And that’s my rambling because I suck at teaching this shit.

*nervous chuckling for potential ways for Castiel’s deal to work out right now*

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chalktank76 · 3 years

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top-7-tips-to-achieve-total-health-and-wellness

Top 7 Tips To Achieve Total Health And Wellness Since I love music, I find myself continually drawn to associating harmony in any area of life to music. In a typical choir, there are four (4) principal voice types - Soprano, Alto, Tenor & Bass - and all are necessary to bring full tonal quality and harmony to the choir. We all have a mind, a body and a spirit. It should therefore serve as no surprise that, in order to achieve total health and wellness, we need to take care of all three (3) parts of ourselves - mind, body and spirit. Don't focus on any one part to the disadvantage of the others, since all are required to bring balance to the human person. In this article, I will provide you with seven (7) simple, practical and effective tips that you can start using immediately to improve and maintain your overall health and wellness. Tip 1 focuses on your spiritual health. Tips 2, 3 and 4 focus on your physical health. Tips 5 and 6 focus on your emotional health. The final tip, Tip 7, focuses on a frequently overlooked area, your mental health. 1. Dedicate 30 minutes to God each day in prayer, reflection and thanksgiving. Every day you are blessed with 1440 minutes to live your life. Thirty (30) minutes only amount to a mere 2% of your entire day. God, the giver of life, deserves some of your day. Read and reflect with daily devotionals, spiritual and/ or religious books (Holy Bible, Qur'an, Torah, Tripitaka, Bhagavad-Gita, Tao-te-Ching, Books of L. Ron Hubbard or other sacred texts). This will increase your knowledge of your religion, strengthen your spirit, improve your personal relationship with God, improve your relationship with your fellow human beings, help you with your daily living and bring you inner peace. 2. Keep Physically Fit. The key to achieving physical fitness is paying attention to exercises that strengthen your core muscles. Your core muscles are all those varied muscles in your chest, abdomen, upper back, lower back and sides. There are several benefits to be derived from a strong core - a flat stomach, a strong back, good posture, reduced strain on the spine, effective transfer of power to your arms and legs to lift, move or carry stuff around, greater mental alertness, greater flexibility and a good heart. 3. Eat Nutritious and Healthy Food. There is a widely circulated myth that foods that are nutritious and healthy are not tasty. Like I indicated, it is a myth and the best way to ensure that your food intake is healthy, nutritious and that you are getting all of the required vitamins and nutrients that your body needs is by: (a) Eating from the 5 major food groups each day - Grains, Vegetables, Fruits, Milk, Meat & Beans. (b) Eating a "rainbow diet", that is, one that contains as many, if not all, of the colours of the rainbow - Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Purple. Each food colour provides a different set of vitamins and micro-nutrients. For example, green foods such as spinach, are a good source of Vitamin A, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Magnesium and Iron. Regular consumption of Spinach fights Anaemia and improves eyesight. (c) Using a good multi-vitamin supplement, to satisfy any nutritional deficiencies you may have. (d) Drinking your recommended eight (8) glasses of water each day. Drink one (1) glass at various intervals throughout the day to assist your body in the efficient elimination of waste and toxins. 4. Take Good Care of Your Skin. Your skin serves four (4) principal functions as follows: I. Protection from external elements. ii. A sort of sensor with nerve endings that cause you to react appropriately to pain, heat, cold, touch, pressure, vibration and tissue injury. iii. A heat regulator that accordingly pumps blood to your skin's surface or reduces blood flow. iv. Your largest waste eliminator (surface wise) through sweating or perspiring. Additionally, as you age, your skin naturally becomes drier, less elastic and produces more wrinkles. However, you can significantly slow down this aging of your skin and help your skin in its elimination process by keeping your skin continuously moist and hydrated through the following simple skin care routine. Skin Care Routine Drink plenty of water; 8 glasses each day. Eat looks of yellow and orange fruits which provide Vitamin A. Take a good Vitamin E supplement. Eat cucumbers, which supply sulphur - a trace element that is necessary for healthy skin!! Also use water-based moisturizing creams or olive oil on the skin, immediately after bathing to keep moisture locked into your skin. 5. Take a 30-minute "time-out" at least once a week. I know this sounds easier said than done, especially if you have children or take care of elderly parents or relatives. So let's look at it from a different angle. If you suddenly became very ill or died, God forbid, the children and relatives would be somehow taken care of. Maybe not as well as you, yes, but they would manage. Well in order to ensure that you are around long enough to provide the best continuous care, the way you alone can do it, is to TAKE A BREAK!!! Find your relaxing space: take a walk on the beach or in the park while listening to nature or music on your iPod; relax on your bed listening to music; curl up in your favourite chair with a cup of tea or chocolate and read a good book; sit on a park bench and watch people pass by... or whatever else relaxes you. This will clear your head and give you renewed energy to go again. 6. Practice Contentment In the natural ebb and flow of life and living, there are high points and low points, seasons of plenty and seasons of scarcity. Happiness is not derived from the abundance, number or type of material things we have. That's why we sometimes see examples of millionaires who are drug addicts or alcoholics. Added to that, there is the "Law of Diminishing Returns". What this basically says is that the more we get of something up to a certain point, the less likely the added quantities of that thing is going to increase our happiness quota. It's like, if I got one (1) Lamborghini - I am on a high, summersaults can't express my happiness, I could hug everybody I meet. If I got two (2) more Lamborghinis - well that's OK. I mean I really won't feel as euphoric as that first time and in any case, how many can I drive at any one time? Contentment is the ability to be happy in both the sparse and abundant seasons of our lives and it is not dependent on our circumstances. We need to develop this spirit of contentment in order to positively contribute to our overall health, happiness and well-being. This does not mean that we should not strive for better but it means that like the old West Indian say goes, "We shouldn't hang our hats where our hands can't reach", in order to keep up with the Jones'. 7. Take the Care of Your Mind Seriously. Stress and Depression are two (2) of the biggest thieves of mental and emotional health, globally. Not only are they globally prevalent but they also lead to more serious mental problems such as Dementia, Alzheimer's, Suicide and Insanity. In fact, "The World Health Organization estimates that more than 450 million people [worldwide] suffer from mental disorders, and a new report by the World Economic Forum figures the annual global costs of mental and neurological illnesses at $2.5 trillion. That is three times the economic cost of heart disease 'Global mental health issues woefully overlooked', Public Radio International." So stress and depression must be dealt with and arrested almost immediately in order to avoid more serious health problems. Depression is a natural phase that we all experience in our lives primarily due to loss of loved ones, work issues, job loss or money/financial issues. However, the key to ensuring that stress and depression do not get out of hand, is engaging in activities that move your mind away from the problem causing the stress or depression and move you to a better mental space, despite the problem at hand. You can improve and maintain the health of your brain by incorporating some of these simple techniques into your daily living. Simple Mental Health Care Solutions Board Games, Puzzles & Quizzes Playing Board Games and Solving Puzzles & Quizzes all provide your brain with a mental workout by improving your memory, concentration, problem solving skills and preventing cognitive decline. Listening to music Although seemingly simple, music soothes the mind and spirit, helps the body relax, relieves mental and emotional stress and tension, stimulates the senses and energizes the body. Writing There are many great online writing communities, such as EzineArticles and Squidoo, which accept articles on just about any topic that you would be interested in. Again, you will be exercising your brain, since to write an excellent article you will need to do some research to supplement your knowledge of the area. Hobbies and Sports http://yildirimajans.net/ Engage in group activities, social clubs or sports that interest you (tennis, horse riding, soccer, football, cricket, karate, sewing, yoga, tai chi, basketball, volleyball, swimming, singing, dancing etc.). Anything that you are naturally inclined to and that makes you feel happy while doing it. If you can't seem to find a sport or hobby that interests you, check out the World's Largest List of Hobbies (see the link below). You're bound to find something that's right for you and that you'll enjoy.

#game #online games #health #kesehatan #berita hari ini

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beggarbagel50 · 3 years

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top-7-tips-to-achieve-total-health-and-wellness

Top 7 Tips To Achieve Total Health And Wellness Since I love music, I find myself continually drawn to associating harmony in any area of life to music. In a typical choir, there are four (4) principal voice types - Soprano, Alto, Tenor & Bass - and all are necessary to bring full tonal quality and harmony to the choir. We all have a mind, a body and a spirit. It should therefore serve as no surprise that, in order to achieve total health and wellness, we need to take care of all three (3) parts of ourselves - mind, body and spirit. Don't focus on any one part to the disadvantage of the others, since all are required to bring balance to the human person. In this article, I will provide you with seven (7) simple, practical and effective tips that you can start using immediately to improve and maintain your overall health and wellness. Tip 1 focuses on your spiritual health. Tips 2, 3 and 4 focus on your physical health. Tips 5 and 6 focus on your emotional health. The final tip, Tip 7, focuses on a frequently overlooked area, your mental health. 1. Dedicate 30 minutes to God each day in prayer, reflection and thanksgiving. Every day you are blessed with 1440 minutes to live your life. Thirty (30) minutes only amount to a mere 2% of your entire day. God, the giver of life, deserves some of your day. Read and reflect with daily devotionals, spiritual and/ or religious books (Holy Bible, Qur'an, Torah, Tripitaka, Bhagavad-Gita, Tao-te-Ching, Books of L. Ron Hubbard or other sacred texts). This will increase your knowledge of your religion, strengthen your spirit, improve your personal relationship with God, improve your relationship with your fellow human beings, help you with your daily living and bring you inner peace. 2. Keep Physically Fit. The key to achieving physical fitness is paying attention to exercises that strengthen your core muscles. Your core muscles are all those varied muscles in your chest, abdomen, upper back, lower back and sides. There are several benefits to be derived from a strong core - a flat stomach, a strong back, good posture, reduced strain on the spine, effective transfer of power to your arms and legs to lift, move or carry stuff around, greater mental alertness, greater flexibility and a good heart. http://resultdatasgp.com/ 3. Eat Nutritious and Healthy Food. There is a widely circulated myth that foods that are nutritious and healthy are not tasty. Like I indicated, it is a myth and the best way to ensure that your food intake is healthy, nutritious and that you are getting all of the required vitamins and nutrients that your body needs is by: (a) Eating from the 5 major food groups each day - Grains, Vegetables, Fruits, Milk, Meat & Beans. (b) Eating a "rainbow diet", that is, one that contains as many, if not all, of the colours of the rainbow - Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Purple. Each food colour provides a different set of vitamins and micro-nutrients. For example, green foods such as spinach, are a good source of Vitamin A, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Magnesium and Iron. Regular consumption of Spinach fights Anaemia and improves eyesight. (c) Using a good multi-vitamin supplement, to satisfy any nutritional deficiencies you may have. (d) Drinking your recommended eight (8) glasses of water each day. Drink one (1) glass at various intervals throughout the day to assist your body in the efficient elimination of waste and toxins. 4. Take Good Care of Your Skin. Your skin serves four (4) principal functions as follows: I. Protection from external elements. ii. A sort of sensor with nerve endings that cause you to react appropriately to pain, heat, cold, touch, pressure, vibration and tissue injury. iii. A heat regulator that accordingly pumps blood to your skin's surface or reduces blood flow. iv. Your largest waste eliminator (surface wise) through sweating or perspiring. Additionally, as you age, your skin naturally becomes drier, less elastic and produces more wrinkles. However, you can significantly slow down this aging of your skin and help your skin in its elimination process by keeping your skin continuously moist and hydrated through the following simple skin care routine. Skin Care Routine Drink plenty of water; 8 glasses each day. Eat looks of yellow and orange fruits which provide Vitamin A. Take a good Vitamin E supplement. Eat cucumbers, which supply sulphur - a trace element that is necessary for healthy skin!! Also use water-based moisturizing creams or olive oil on the skin, immediately after bathing to keep moisture locked into your skin. 5. Take a 30-minute "time-out" at least once a week. I know this sounds easier said than done, especially if you have children or take care of elderly parents or relatives. So let's look at it from a different angle. If you suddenly became very ill or died, God forbid, the children and relatives would be somehow taken care of. Maybe not as well as you, yes, but they would manage. Well in order to ensure that you are around long enough to provide the best continuous care, the way you alone can do it, is to TAKE A BREAK!!! Find your relaxing space: take a walk on the beach or in the park while listening to nature or music on your iPod; relax on your bed listening to music; curl up in your favourite chair with a cup of tea or chocolate and read a good book; sit on a park bench and watch people pass by... or whatever else relaxes you. This will clear your head and give you renewed energy to go again. 6. Practice Contentment In the natural ebb and flow of life and living, there are high points and low points, seasons of plenty and seasons of scarcity. Happiness is not derived from the abundance, number or type of material things we have. That's why we sometimes see examples of millionaires who are drug addicts or alcoholics. Added to that, there is the "Law of Diminishing Returns". What this basically says is that the more we get of something up to a certain point, the less likely the added quantities of that thing is going to increase our happiness quota. It's like, if I got one (1) Lamborghini - I am on a high, summersaults can't express my happiness, I could hug everybody I meet. If I got two (2) more Lamborghinis - well that's OK. I mean I really won't feel as euphoric as that first time and in any case, how many can I drive at any one time? Contentment is the ability to be happy in both the sparse and abundant seasons of our lives and it is not dependent on our circumstances. We need to develop this spirit of contentment in order to positively contribute to our overall health, happiness and well-being. This does not mean that we should not strive for better but it means that like the old West Indian say goes, "We shouldn't hang our hats where our hands can't reach", in order to keep up with the Jones'. 7. Take the Care of Your Mind Seriously. Stress and Depression are two (2) of the biggest thieves of mental and emotional health, globally. Not only are they globally prevalent but they also lead to more serious mental problems such as Dementia, Alzheimer's, Suicide and Insanity. In fact, "The World Health Organization estimates that more than 450 million people [worldwide] suffer from mental disorders, and a new report by the World Economic Forum figures the annual global costs of mental and neurological illnesses at $2.5 trillion. That is three times the economic cost of heart disease 'Global mental health issues woefully overlooked', Public Radio International." So stress and depression must be dealt with and arrested almost immediately in order to avoid more serious health problems. Depression is a natural phase that we all experience in our lives primarily due to loss of loved ones, work issues, job loss or money/financial issues. However, the key to ensuring that stress and depression do not get out of hand, is engaging in activities that move your mind away from the problem causing the stress or depression and move you to a better mental space, despite the problem at hand. You can improve and maintain the health of your brain by incorporating some of these simple techniques into your daily living. Simple Mental Health Care Solutions Board Games, Puzzles & Quizzes Playing Board Games and Solving Puzzles & Quizzes all provide your brain with a mental workout by improving your memory, concentration, problem solving skills and preventing cognitive decline. Listening to music Although seemingly simple, music soothes the mind and spirit, helps the body relax, relieves mental and emotional stress and tension, stimulates the senses and energizes the body. Writing There are many great online writing communities, such as EzineArticles and Squidoo, which accept articles on just about any topic that you would be interested in. Again, you will be exercising your brain, since to write an excellent article you will need to do some research to supplement your knowledge of the area. Hobbies and Sports

Engage in group activities, social clubs or sports that interest you (tennis, horse riding, soccer, football, cricket, karate, sewing, yoga, tai chi, basketball, volleyball, swimming, singing, dancing etc.). Anything that you are naturally inclined to and that makes you feel happy while doing it. If you can't seem to find a sport or hobby that interests you, check out the World's Largest List of Hobbies (see the link below). You're bound to find something that's right for you and that you'll enjoy.

#game #online games #health #kesehatan #berita hari ini

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cafeappeal71 · 3 years

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top-7-tips-to-achieve-total-health-and-wellness

Top 7 Tips To Achieve Total Health And Wellness Since I love music, I find myself continually drawn to associating harmony in any area of life to music. In a typical choir, there are four (4) principal voice types - Soprano, Alto, Tenor & Bass - and all are necessary to bring full tonal quality and harmony to the choir. We all have a mind, a body and a spirit. It should therefore serve as no surprise that, in order to achieve total health and wellness, we need to take care of all three (3) parts of ourselves - mind, body and spirit. Don't focus on any one part to the disadvantage of the others, since all are required to bring balance to the human person. In this article, I will provide you with seven (7) simple, practical and effective tips that you can start using immediately to improve and maintain your overall health and wellness. Tip 1 focuses on your spiritual health. Tips 2, 3 and 4 focus on your physical health. Tips 5 and 6 focus on your emotional health. The final tip, Tip 7, focuses on a frequently overlooked area, your mental health. 1. Dedicate 30 minutes to God each day in prayer, reflection and thanksgiving. Every day you are blessed with 1440 minutes to live your life. Thirty (30) minutes only amount to a mere 2% of your entire day. God, the giver of life, deserves some of your day. Read and reflect with daily devotionals, spiritual and/ or religious books (Holy Bible, Qur'an, Torah, Tripitaka, Bhagavad-Gita, Tao-te-Ching, Books of L. Ron Hubbard or other sacred texts). This will increase your knowledge of your religion, strengthen your spirit, improve your personal relationship with God, improve your relationship with your fellow human beings, help you with your daily living and bring you inner peace. 2. Keep Physically Fit. The key to achieving physical fitness is paying attention to exercises that strengthen your core muscles. Your core muscles are all those varied muscles in your chest, abdomen, upper back, lower back and sides. There are several benefits to be derived from a strong core - a flat stomach, a strong back, good posture, reduced strain on the spine, effective transfer of power to your arms and legs to lift, move or carry stuff around, greater mental alertness, greater flexibility and a good heart. 3. Eat Nutritious and Healthy Food. There is a widely circulated myth that foods that are nutritious and healthy are not tasty. Like I indicated, it is a myth and the best way to ensure that your food intake is healthy, nutritious and that you are getting all of the required vitamins and nutrients that your body needs is by: (a) Eating from the 5 major food groups each day - Grains, Vegetables, Fruits, Milk, Meat & Beans. (b) Eating a "rainbow diet", that is, one that contains as many, if not all, of the colours of the rainbow - Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Purple. Each food colour provides a different set of vitamins and micro-nutrients. For example, green foods such as spinach, are a good source of Vitamin A, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Magnesium and Iron. Regular consumption of Spinach fights Anaemia and improves eyesight. (c) Using a good multi-vitamin supplement, to satisfy any nutritional deficiencies you may have. (d) Drinking your recommended eight (8) glasses of water each day. Drink one (1) glass at various intervals throughout the day to assist your body in the efficient elimination of waste and toxins. 4. Take Good Care of Your Skin. Your skin serves four (4) principal functions as follows: I. Protection from external elements. ii. A sort of sensor with nerve endings that cause you to react appropriately to pain, heat, cold, touch, pressure, vibration and tissue injury. iii. A heat regulator that accordingly pumps blood to your skin's surface or reduces blood flow. iv. Your largest waste eliminator (surface wise) through sweating or perspiring. Additionally, as you age, your skin naturally becomes drier, less elastic and produces more wrinkles. However, you can significantly slow down this aging of your skin and help your skin in its elimination process by keeping your skin continuously moist and hydrated through the following simple skin care routine. Skin Care Routine Drink plenty of water; 8 glasses each day. Eat looks of yellow and orange fruits which provide Vitamin A. Take a good Vitamin E supplement. Eat cucumbers, which supply sulphur - a trace element that is necessary for healthy skin!! Also use water-based moisturizing creams or olive oil on the skin, immediately after bathing to keep moisture locked into your skin. 5. Take a 30-minute "time-out" at least once a week. I know this sounds easier said than done, especially if you have children or take care of elderly parents or relatives. So let's look at it from a different angle. If you suddenly became very ill or died, God forbid, the children and relatives would be somehow taken care of. Maybe not as well as you, yes, but they would manage. Well in order to ensure that you are around long enough to provide the best continuous care, the way you alone can do it, is to TAKE A BREAK!!! Find your relaxing space: take a walk on the beach or in the park while listening to nature or music on your iPod; relax on your bed listening to music; curl up in your favourite chair with a cup of tea or chocolate and read a good book; sit on a park bench and watch people pass by... or whatever else relaxes you. This will clear your head and give you renewed energy to go again. 6. Practice Contentment In the natural ebb and flow of life and living, there are high points and low points, seasons of plenty and seasons of scarcity. Happiness is not derived from the abundance, number or type of material things we have. That's why we sometimes see examples of millionaires who are drug addicts or alcoholics. Added to that, there is the "Law of Diminishing Returns". What this basically says is that the more we get of something up to a certain point, the less likely the added quantities of that thing is going to increase our happiness quota. It's like, if I got one (1) Lamborghini - I am on a high, summersaults can't express my happiness, I could hug everybody I meet. If I got two (2) more Lamborghinis - well that's OK. I mean I really won't feel as euphoric as that first time and in any case, how many can I drive at any one time? Contentment is the ability to be happy in both the sparse and abundant seasons of our lives and it is not dependent on our circumstances. We need to develop this spirit of contentment in order to positively contribute to our overall health, happiness and well-being. This does not mean that we should not strive for better but it means that like the old West Indian say goes, "We shouldn't hang our hats where our hands can't reach", in order to keep up with the Jones'. 7. Take the Care of Your Mind Seriously. Stress and Depression are two (2) of the biggest thieves of mental and emotional health, globally. Not only are they globally prevalent but they also lead to more serious mental problems such as Dementia, Alzheimer's, Suicide and Insanity. In fact, "The World Health Organization estimates that more than 450 million people [worldwide] suffer from mental disorders, and a new report by the World Economic Forum figures the annual global costs of mental and neurological illnesses at $2.5 trillion. That is three times the economic cost of heart disease 'Global mental health issues woefully overlooked', Public Radio International." So stress and depression must be dealt with and arrested almost immediately in order to avoid more serious health problems. Depression is a natural phase that we all experience in our lives primarily due to loss of loved ones, work issues, job loss or money/financial issues. However, the key to ensuring that stress and depression do not get out of hand, is engaging in activities that move your mind away from the problem causing the stress or depression and move you to a better mental space, despite the problem at hand. You can improve and maintain the health of your brain by incorporating some of these simple techniques into your daily living. Simple Mental Health Care Solutions Board Games, Puzzles & Quizzes Playing Board Games and Solving Puzzles & Quizzes all provide your brain with a mental workout by improving your memory, concentration, problem solving skills and preventing cognitive decline. Listening to music Although seemingly simple, music soothes the mind and spirit, helps the body relax, relieves mental and emotional stress and tension, stimulates the senses and energizes the body. Writing http://lucky16.info/ There are many great online writing communities, such as EzineArticles and Squidoo, which accept articles on just about any topic that you would be interested in. Again, you will be exercising your brain, since to write an excellent article you will need to do some research to supplement your knowledge of the area.

Hobbies and Sports Engage in group activities, social clubs or sports that interest you (tennis, horse riding, soccer, football, cricket, karate, sewing, yoga, tai chi, basketball, volleyball, swimming, singing, dancing etc.). Anything that you are naturally inclined to and that makes you feel happy while doing it. If you can't seem to find a sport or hobby that interests you, check out the World's Largest List of Hobbies (see the link below). You're bound to find something that's right for you and that you'll enjoy.

#game #online games #health #kesehatan #berita hari ini

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lineffability · 5 years

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Epilogue To A Love Song

good omens // ineffable husbands This is a sort-of-kinda continuation/epilogue to THIS wonderful series by @qrdrws where they illustrated T. S. Eliot’s “The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock” with beautiul soul-wrenching ineffable husbands art. So, this is also inspired by an Eliot poem, & and tries to keep OP’s tone. I hope it does your wonderful art & story justice!!

(It can be read as a standalone also.)

We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time

They often went for walks, lately. Walks that took them through much-trodden village streets and familiar little alleys and along footpaths that had not been worn when they had arrived here, but were worn now, and the children who had helped create them no longer had time to play; they were so busy growing up. Walks that took them down to the beach and across meadows, and away.

Life was good, here in the South Downs, but life was good elsewhere.

People remarked, sometimes, how resilient they were against time and how it became them, and they smiled and walked away, and the people would forget they had noticed anything. It was only reality, after all. Still, they felt it was time to move on--not for pretenses, but for themselves. They had not talked about it, but they knew each other well enough without words. They had been nice years, years sitting side by side by the fireplace and years marvelling at hermit crabs down by the shore.

Almost touching, but never quite. And throughout these years, the ache in Aziraphale had grown and expanded, the ache that had become more unbearable every single day after The End Of The World that had not been the end of the world. Ever since The Possibility had become so very possible. Oh, he had known he loved Crowley long before, and he had loved him even longer still (so much longer), but he had been resigned, in a beautiful, bittersweet way, to forever love him like the moon loves the earth: in waves and phases. Several times, in the last years, he had almost let the flood overpower the tide, had almost reached out to bridge that narrow, fragile gap between them. Almost. He had not yet dared.

They were walking towards an orchard: a tall, angular man and a soft, round one, the world behind and apples before them. Aziraphale’s eyes darted up to the the sky, for a brief moment, then lingered on Crowley, who returned his gaze.

“So, how much longer?”

“I don’t know.”

Aziraphale was not sure about the nature of his question, but perhaps, he thought, Crowley wasn’t sure either. The answer, however, was true regardless.

They arrived at a brittle, overgrown gate, belonging to a wooden, dilapidated fence, which surrounded the orchard. They walked through it.

Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning;

“Apple?”

Crowley held out an apple, red and shiny, and his eyes were shiny too. (He’d gotten used to slipping his sunglasses into his pockets, when they were alone.) Aziraphale regarded those eyes, and then the apple. He took it. Then he reached up to pluck his own, a paler one, and handed it to the demon. With a grin, Crowley bit into his apple, and Aziraphale smiled, wrinkles around his eyes, before following suit. They were free, like that. It had been easy to get used to it. It had been a new beginning, but in the end, it hadn’t been too different from the First. Not in a bad way.

Somewhere, in that orchard, they could hear the laughter of children, who were sitting on tree branches and biting into their fresh bounty and having no other care in the world. Not too far off; Aziraphale knew that if he turned around, he’d be able to make out their silhouettes between the trees. Alas, he did not.

“Crowley,” he started, hesitant. Something had been on his mind. Well, everything had been on his mind, that was his nature, but this particular thought had turned to a worry he almost did not dare voice into a question. “Where will you go, after... ?” He motioned around him. After this. After this little life; one of so many lives they had lived. After us?

Crowley stopped. Everything about him stopped, and he stared, unblinking, into Aziraphale’s eyes. “Where…?” Crowley took a step towards him, forgetting about the apple in his hand so much that it vanished right out of existence. “Where will I go?”

Helpless, Aziraphale held his gaze. This was what they did, was it not? Go their separate ways, which somehow, sooner or later, but always without fail, ended up being their shared ways--before forking once again. An eternal ebb and flow, threading and unthreading. Waves, and phases.

“I-- Crowley.”

But they had never been together like this. It had been new. Aziraphale couldn’t deny it, and, more importantly, he didn’t want it to end. Well--he didn’t particularly mind it ending, as long as they would begin again together. That was what he truly wanted. He licked his lips. But could he? God knew, he’d always been a coward.

But not when it mattered. And this mattered.

It had taken him a little while to come around. What were a few years against eternity? These last years they had spent together had passed in the blink of an eye, but for a while they had felt infinite. For so long, it had been enough to touch almost. He wanted to hold on, this time. And Crowley was close enough to hold on to. He just had to reach out.

“Will we-- I mean, we could-- maybe, well, we--”

“Angel, for Heaven’s sake.” Crowley said. He said nothing more.

And the river broke the dam, and the water spilled into the sea, and drowned everything else.

At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea.

Drowning does not happen fast. Slowly, ever so slowly, they bridged the gap and went under. Slowly, they moved closer. They didn’t notice the children, curious, and they forgot about the trees and the apples: they were no longer a temptation. They had been tempted by something else. They closed the gap.

Quick now, here, now, always-- A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything)

When their lips touched, it was sweet. It tasted of apple: of knowledge of eternity, of the passing of time, of the true nature of all things. It was simple. Simpler than Right or Wrong, than Now and Always. It was Right, Now.

And She saw that it was Good.

It was love.

And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #a/c #my writing #inefficable #my omens #cheesy as fuck??? yea h #sometimes u gotta #eat the cheese #let it nourish you

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indomitablemegnolia · 5 years

Text

Cold, empty, hollow feeling echoes along my nerves as I replay a memory over and over again. I never had any idea, I always disdained the ingénues in romance tales, the ones that would run panting after some said hero, I never wanted to be one, yet here I am. My mind conjures life, himself, his pitying face, and yes every time I thought of that creased brow and the laughing smile I wanted to hit it, words echoed, I wished I had just left it with the dead thudding “oh.” Yes, oh, as in my mind is screaming and all my lips can utter is oh, but never knowing exactly when to speak and when to keep my peace I smile, as they say, smile even if your soul and heart are being shredded after being ripped from your body clawed and spit on, split and slashed, yes, always smile, but that didn’t keep my lips closed.

“Oh, darling Life, of all the lies you ever told me, I love you was my favourite, was it ever true?” I surprised myself my voice was light with only a small tremor no catch or watery undertone.

His eyes remained smiling his pity losing its edge, “No”

“So, all of those promised moments, those oaths of fealty, the times you said… forever… they were what?”

“Well I have heard that sometimes forever is just a second.”

“Kiss me, please.” I had to know the truth, no matter how cold it was.

“Just one last time, then I will go.”

“You have to mean it, can you mean it?” I closed my eyes, knowing what he was going to say.

“I never have before.”

“I loved you.” I whisper, I turn my back, "how stupid;" stopping him before his lips could touch mine; I walk away, I walked away from him before he would walk away from me. The overlapping voices inside me making such a ruckus that I thought the entire world could hear it. The Pleas, 'don’t leave me', 'not like this', 'I need you', 'I love you', 'I always will'; then they all quieted as 'Goodbye' ricocheted through me. I didn’t look back, not until I knew he had turned to leave, it was a mistake but I watched the last of his shoulders turn as he slowly faded. I felt living slowly ebb in my soul, it would only be a short while before my heart slowly stops beating; the bitch when it is life who leaves...

In this world of wit and worry in this universe. In this one there are few things so beautiful they arch eons after ever being seen or felt…swimming in the ocean while it rains; reading alone in an empty library; a childs smile; the sea of stars that appear when you are miles away from neon lights of the city; the dull ache of a bar after two am with the flavour of bourbon on the tongue; lost in the wilderness on purpose or by accident; all phases of the moon; the things we do not know, nor ever will about the universe… and You… yes you Life, watching your face while you let all the pleasure flow through your body is a glorious sight. I know that you’re sometimes conscious of me observing you. It can made you hold back maybe a little, I try not to let that happen. It inhibits you from fully letting your mind follow your body, but when I was able, when all was want and desire and need to prolong the ecstasy washing over us, my god, you’re a sight like no other in this world. This one in the innumerable possible worlds, those other worlds in the other universes. Though as magnificent as I knew this world to be, I also knew there would be one world where we, almost, just ever so might have been lovers soulmates friends. In this one it simply just wasn’t meant to be, Life, himself just couldn’t come to love me.

I can’t have you, Life. You are not here, and will never visit again, this is something I know. I long for arms that aren’t there and never will be. It’s a bad habit I’m getting used to.

I kept walking mindless, finally stopping when I was in my room sorting through my closet. Life, he finally told me, he never loved me, and this was goodbye. I ran through my stages of grief, at the end coming to the conclusion, that unlike a usual break up, this one is a final resounding call. Logically, what happens when Life, himself, says goodbye, time is really running out. I pulled out the dress I never had the occasion to wear, black satin empire waist beaded and beautiful. I slide it on, smoothing my hair and smearing on my best lipstick.

I deal in concrete vagaries, delicious ambiguity, my mind scattered to the four winds. I am not exactly sure why, but my thoughts and emotions were now haywire, bubbling up through the broken cracks in my soul, dampening my creativity, confusing my words and sending me on a spiral. I am collecting my thoughts, my mind and the fly away flurries of my soul to have peace for just this moment. I tamp it all deep down into my soul and keep it held tight, this new agitating pain. I know this is perhaps faulty thinking and temporary. Perhaps one day it won’t just be temporary, perhaps someday someone is going to hug me so tight all the broken pieces of my soul will fit back together. Damn you Life, why couldn’t you love me back.

Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, every one and I’ve fallen in love with him. No one can escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: I did by my actions amplify it. Perhaps it can be mended. My breath becoming short, my legs weak, I shivered; Oh, if only, I had the time.

As I walked on this beautiful night I looked at the sky and wondered how many people feel the way I do at this moment. The icy chill had left as well as that empty echo, I was not resigned but in an odd way… Content but not pleased; happy but in a distant nostalgia; blessed but also very cursed; found but so goddamned lost; I was alive but just barely breathing.

As I walked near a lacquered black door the tinkling of soul pulled at me. I walk into the sedate bar, soft tune playing from a grand piano from the corner, a man with a stingy brim and white suit jacket tippled his scotch while he played some sentimental piece. The smoky smell of centuries hanging on the aged wood and leather, the lighting low with a blue/aqua tinge to it. Sliding onto the stool I realize that I am still smiling; Oh that programming was so ingrained. I ran my hands over the warm mahogany of the bar, feeling centuries play under my fingers. I breathed in the atmosphere deep. If there were a heaven it might have one of these in it.

The bartender, in a white shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows and a black velvet waist coat, his head shaved smooth, his skin held a healthy shine. His eyes the colour of onyx shined with an air of grace, “What’ll it be?” his voice was like honey; thick, rich, deep, his words gathering s delicate click to the end.

I thought for a single beat, “Cocktail du aviation.”

“Its been an age since I have had a call for that one.” I watched as he built the cocktail. A chilled metal shaker filled with ice, two jiggers of gin frosty clear, a jigger of Maraschino liqueur a lightly pink colour, a dram of Lemon juice and two Jiggers of Crème de violette a vivid dark purple. He affixed the top and began to shake it to the staggering waltz of the music in the background. While shaking it for the last two bars he pulled a chilled martini glass out, tossing three cherries with stems into the glass, uncapping the shaker he slowly poured the concoction into the glass that instantly frosts over, the dark purple turning a frosty delicious spring scented nirvana. He floated three flowers on the top, setting a napkin in front of me placing the glass in the center, resting a longer stemmed bloom on the outer edge.

I lifted the glass, holding it under my nose, breathing in something beautiful and fresh. “J’ai plus de souvenirs que si j’avais mille ans.” I took a drink of the memory soaked libation. I rolled the flowers around my tongue, the flavour exploding in my mind, in my mouth, opening my eyes I lick my lips taking in the quizzical look, a laugh escapes me as I let memories creep into my mind, I translated, “I carry more memories, souvenirs,”

“Than I should after a thousand years lived…” his honeyed voice finished with me. “I knew what it meant, just not why you would carry that much weight?”

I shrug, and take another drink, feeling alive even for a short moment; my heart thumps hard, slowing. Now that Life, himself has left me flat it is just a game of waiting.

Softly the piano started a soulful tinkling. A low baritone began to sing, I felt my heart stop. “Birds flying high, you know how I feel," I took a last shuddering breath; "sun in the sky you know how I feel.” I rocked softly to the melody, taking a long drink, tipping my head back, revelling in the flavour. Warmth came up behind me, soft breath caressing my ear. Sighing I lean back toward him.

Oh, Terminus I loved sparring with him, but I also love when he was there to hold my wounded heart. There was a time I counted him as my arch enemy; now I know he is my only meant to be, now as his warmth calmed that chill from my bones. I felt him sit on the stool next to me, I could smell the sweet bourbon on his breath and in his glass. I open my eyes and look into his reflected in the beveled mirror. His heavy lidded green eyes spoke of past and future and promises that from him that never rang empty. He smiled the most exquisite smile, delicious enticing, wrapped in a memory, veiled by reality and tinged by my dreams.

How does one explain an unknowable without sounding unsound? That euphonious nonsound, not an absence of noise but nothing audibly distinguishable. That click that is felt abd heard through the whole universe, that moment when our eyes met, like the switch of a train track, transporting both if us for one miraculous moment, to what might have been or is it what will be? Oh, but it was there.

His voice, lilting, plush, tempting tintinambulation; the result, sweet butterflies rioting through the veins; producing goose bumps, as if the sound has come from just behind the ear, as a warm breath caressing the neck. The exotic feeling of an audible dark chocolate thrills the body, every collected nerve inundated with sweet richness, trailed with a dark bite. In contrast all listening feel the dangerous, opulent, decadence, something almost endemically naughty about the tone that the depth of the words as lush as they felt, were belied with their defined ordinary nature, turning to a sweet erotic rapture

I wanted just to sit next to him and listen to everything he could possibly say about anything ever because there was something about him. Oh, Terminus, there was always something about you, about the tilt of your head. I luxuriated in the tone of his breath passing over his lush tongue. It was just the beautiful happening of existence that there he was. I don’t even know what we talked about, I just listened to the sound of his voice and to his deep sweet laugh and the sound of him softly listening to me.

His beautifully calloused hand carefully caressed mine; his soft caressing whisper, "I remember how seeing the shape of your mouth that first time, I kept staring until my blood turned to rain. Some things take root in the brain and just don’t let go. Oh, Time passes, but she smiles and it may as well have just stopped. Come, closer now and listen my love, I warned you, Life only cares for beauty, and health and dancing and happiness. You and I will always be.”

“How do you move on?“ I whispered surrounded in that moment by memory.

“You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back.” he looked into my eyes and I finally saw that love I had always craved. “Do you know the most beautiful part to loving a guarded girl? When she lets you in, it’s not because she needs you. She stopped needing people a long time ago. It’s because she wants you. And that - that is the purest love of all.”

The bartender appeared topping off our drinks. The cocktail was still gloriously frosty, and his bourbon smelled heavenly on his breath “Anything else you’ll be needing Set?”

“Not at all Charon, I think we are about done here.”

I nodded, “of course, I… Set,” I looked at the beautiful bartender nodding,“Charon, you are beautiful, and mix a hell of a drink”

“Was a pleasure Miss, this was the sweetest tour I have taken. Its not often the boss comes on the trip.”

I laughed, “Now feel foolish calling you Terminus.”

“It fits, it is what I am, but it doesnt have to be a battle, a horror. .. Oh, you used to fight me, now look, you see... We were meant to be.” He took my hand pulling me from my perch on the stool. Handing me my lovely purple concoction. Wrapping his arm tightly around my shoulders, god, he was tall.

He walked comfortably to the door I entered through, but instead of the street...

@pedeka @keeper0fthestars @writernotwaiting @iamhisgloriouspurpose @littletesla

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