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lengthofropes · 3 years

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POVs series

Part 4: Dean

words: 2,2k; rating: teen and up

summary:

Dean’s POV, since Cas is gone, then got back from the Empty.

Intentionally written as scattered thoughts.

Slowly, from grief, to the ending that they both deserve.

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1. What shapes me? Lines of my bones, enveloped within my skin, so tensed and fragile. The tremble of my hands in the morning, as I try but can’t find you next to me. My old clothes, my new clothes. Corners of my house. My car’s seat upholstery. Soft recoil of my revolver. Food on my plate. Blood in my arteries. My “yes”s and my “no”s and cracks in my voice, as I say so. - I’d drive. - Far away. From here, but where to? I’d watch the sun goes up and down, up and down, throwing it’s rays into side mirror. Lightening the road or leaving it in darkness, disturbed only by the headlights. I’d listen to the sound that air makes, sliced in half by the windshield. I’d listen to the purring of the engine under the hood, gratefully fed with gasoline. Too bad, it’s not clamorous enough. I’d pay dearly. With money, with time, that’s left. With anything. For something so loud, that could muffle my inaudible screams into nowhere. - I’d drive. But where to? - I don’t know where to. -

keep reading under the cut - or - read on AO3

2. I can’t drive alone. I keep seeing your gaze on my right. I see it, when I look into the rear view mirror too. Like you’re still here, around, waiting to say something. Or just sitting silently, pervading the air with the appeasement of your presence. Looking at me. How long will it take me to forget how your eyes looked like? How long will it take me to forget what you saw in me? How can I? Now, that I believe in everything you’ve said. - How warm your touch was. - How good does it feel to be “finally free”, remind me? I don’t like the price. -

3. I’d like some certainty, you know? To come to terms. But I keep thinking “If only..” I keep asking “What if..?” So many of those. Like there are other paths, and it all could’ve work out differently. They throw me back days ago, then months ago, then years. All my life, since the day I’ve met you. I keep searching for the answer, for the exact point, the moment, when I could’ve say something, do something. And you’d still be here.

“If”s are draining me. They are the lump in my throat, big and barbed. Sometimes it grows so big, it blocks the air from getting into my lungs. And in times like these I wonder, maybe I should just stop breathing at all? Still easier, than to accept your absence. - What if. What if. What if. - And you’d still be here. Here. -

4. Prayers never got me any good. Except of those, that were for you. But you can’t hear me now. You can’t hear at all. I know, it’s no use, I know it’s not possible, I know… I know. But I keep doing this, I keep begging. Not for a solace, not because of compassion. For fairness. Because. You took yourself away from me. It’s not fair, it’s so not fair. How could you do this to me? It’s not fair, can you hear me? It’s not fair! It’s not… - Come back to me. - Bring him back to me. - I don’t know if it is a prayer, I just repeat it over and over. Maybe I’m hoping these words will lose their meaning, if I’ll bounce them against every wall? Every wall of every empty room. I wander around them at night. You stood here, you smiled there, we had an argument, sitting in these chairs. And here, here you touched my shoulder. - Come back to me. Please, come back to me. -

5. How come, it’s been months already? I counted the seconds; they aimlessly wandered around, and then, having nothing else to do, gathered into minutes. It took more courage for minutes to gather in hours, but they did anyway. Hours slowly built up the days, and every seven days made it into a week. - I know, how time works. I’m just not sure, it works for me. - It’s not a straight line, I think. It’s more like a quagmire, and I’m drowning. I looked at myself in the mirror again this morning, as I do every day. I look closely, I check, I perceive. Hey, you’d be proud of me, you know? Little by little, I merge my usual “I” with your vision of me. Because this is the best way to remember you - to live by your last words. - I’d like to tell you, how YOU changed me. [ X ] -

6. Light is blinding me. Heart grew so big, it filled all of my chest, not sure, if there’s a place left to breathe in. Please, let it be real. Please. Please… Not another happy dream, that turns into nightmare, when I’m waking up. Please. - I see you. - Same room, same spot. You. Alive. Your hands are cold. You’re so weak, you can’t stand by yourself, you can’t even speak. But before you passed out, you looked at me. You looked at me, and I saw my own eyes reflect in yours. And that was enough to believe this is real. - I don’t remember… I… - Someone’s shaking my shoulder and saying my name over and over again. I’m sitting on the floor, holding you in my arms. My fingers hurt. I must’ve clutched them into your trench coat too tight. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting like this. But yes… yes… Sam’s hand is on my shoulder and he’s right, his voice is very quiet, but he’s right. We should get you out of here. We should put you in bed. - I nod. I’m not sure I can speak. -

7. It’s so quiet. - You lay. You rest. You sleep. I’ll watch over you. It’s my turn now. The room is still. Only movement is your chest’s slow ups and downs, as you breathe. It’s just air, nothing more, right? How can the sound of air, filling the lungs, be the most soothing sound in the world? But it is. - It’s our air. We share it. - And I’m crying. I’m crying and I’m crying and I can’t stop. -

8. Sam came back from the store, I stand in the kitchen, taking out groceries and stuff out of the shopping bags. Among everything, I see he bought a super glue, I have no idea, what he needs this for. This is so stupid, this is so fucking stupid, it’s pathetic… but I can’t keep my eyes of it. “Use super glue to strongly bind 2 surfaces together”. I want to come into your room, I want to sit beside you, while you’re still sleeping. I want to smear that goddamn glue all over you, from head to toe, and put myself on top of you, as like I’m the other surface. “Assemble parts and hold together with pressure for 15 seconds or until set”, the directions say. Or, there’s gotta be sewing kit here somewhere? I want to thread a needle and sew you to me. With such large and strong stitches, I darned Sam’s pants like that when I was a kid, I know these stitches are reliable, believe me. Or use a duck tape. Or shove us both into the bottle and threw it away into the ocean. - It’s been two days and nine hours, since you’re back. Someday, I’ll be able to leave your room, leave you out of my sight, and don’t feel growing panic in my chest. - Someday, I’ll believe you’re back for good. For good. For ever. Not today. -

9. Your bare legs are sticking out of your robe. You are strong enough to walk around the bunker, and, of course, the first thing you did is get to the kitchen. Oh, you woke up hungry and just wanted to make yourself a sandwich, I see… You are not cold, but you are sitting on a chair, constantly adjusting this stupid robe, wrapping yourself in it tighter. You weirdo. You know who you remind me of? A cold little sparrow on a twig, who keeps on ruffling the feathers to keep warm. Those legs are sticking out… - I place a huge bowl of hot chicken soup in front of you. “Eat!” I say. “Or I’m gonna start feeding you with a spoon, I swear!” You mutter something dissatisfied about peanut butter and jelly under your nose, but I won’t even listen. "Eat!” I say. Seriously, you didn’t want to wake me up?? So nice of you! Next time consider my near heart attack, maybe? You look sorry and giving me those puppy eyes, and I swear I want to smile so bad. Not just smile, really. To laugh with my full chest, easy and warm. - You breathe. You sleep. Now you eat. Should I ask questions? You’re here. You’re okay. You’re getting better. - You’re getting better. -

10. Your hair smell of my shampoo. Your hair. Smell of my shampoo. Your clothes are my old ones, but they fit you so good. Soon, when you’re well enough, we’re gonna drive some place nice and buy you your own. It’s selfish, probably, but I want it to happen as late, as possible; not your recovery, of course, your new clothes, I mean. - You look mine in my clothes. - Your hair smell of my shampoo. I’ve realised it just now, when you fell asleep on my shoulder. I forgive you, we’ve seen this movie two times already, it’s okay. And I can pretend I’m still watching it, while shamelessly wander my eyes over you, curled in a ball, covered with soft plaid. - I dare to kiss the top of your head, I dare to cover your knuckles with my palm, carefully, not to wake you up. - You are so warm. -

11. Do I deserve you? - Do I? Your presence in my life. You. All of you. So pure, so perfect. So selfless. I’d say you are full of light, but it’s not quite so. Because you are the light. God, I’m so scared. It starts in my fingertips, they ache, like being pinned with needles. Needles get into my blood flow and make my whole body shiver. - It took me way too long to understand, but I see now… it’s not about you, it’s about me. I know, I know! I remember everything you’ve said. I remember how I tried to believe it, to understand, to accept, to let it all inside me and keep it there. Your simple truth, that I actually mean something. Mean so much. To you. Fucking everyday morning exercises. Look and repeat, look and repeat to self all over again, “you are loved, you are loved, you are loved…” until not scared of the meaning. But… is this enough? What you feel about me? What I feel about you? To deserve you? Do I deserve you, do I? Do I? I… - But you’re kissing me back. - And you shiver too. Are those my needles got into your veins or are those yours? Jesus, do you have the same idiotic thoughts in your head?? God, we are both so clumsy, so stupid, so fucking stupid! We were so dumb, we are both so dumb! We are… We… - WE. - And I’m kissing you. I’m kissing you. I deserve it. I deserve you. I do. -

12. To feel the pulse on your neck with my lips. To smile, when your stubble tickles my ribs. To hear your shuddered inhales right next to my temple. To hold you, closer than ever, and not be afraid to. - It’s something about the heat of your skin, that makes me feel belonged. Safe. -

13. - You told me, you want to grow old with me. -

14. It’s quite hot, but windy today. You rolled the window down, and fresh air immediately filled up the car. We’re driving back home from the grocery store. You’re texting to someone and smiling. Tell them “Hi” from me. We’re listening to the new mixtape you’ve made. It’s awful, by the way. 90’s? Seriously?? Oh, don’t hurt yourself rolling your eyes back. Ok…Okay! I’m shutting up! You’re taking two milkshakes out of the bag, one for you, one for me. We argue on who’s gonna cook today. We drive past the small tidy houses with green yards and gardens, talking over each one of those. Someday, soon, yeah, most likely. That one with blue shutters? Yeah, I like it too. - In between of shifting the gears, I hold your hand. I love you. - Days are like this. -

15. Hello, my name is Dean Winchester. White male, early forties’. I don’t try to recognize myself in a mirror anymore. I don’t ask questions. - I’m just here. - Yeah, there’s grey in my hair, quite a bit, but still. These are my arms, my shoulders, hands. I used to know my hands as lethal, strong and fast, and I’ve always thought, that’s enough for male hands. I mean… they are, yes. But now I’d add, they are full of care, also. Even gentle. They are good for so many things, I didn’t even realize they are so good. [ X ] - This is my face. Here are my freckles and there are my wrinkles. - This is my skin; I live in it.

- It finally fits me. -

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tag list:

@alivedean @achillestiel @acklesology @agentcastiels @burnhamandtilly @bluefirecas @bebecas @becauseofthebowties @ben-edlund @bestiarum @bipridedean @brokenyouth @casthyelle @captain-flint @celestialdean @celestialcastiel @chaoticdean @castheology @cosmiccas @deanwinchesteradjacent @donestiel @debriefingspn @dstiel @evermorecastiel @emptymeg @endverse @fromperdition @forthiswholeworld @galaxycastiel @heartattackles @honeystiel @highvoltagejackles @inacatastrophicmind @itsinjustbeing @icegifs @iheartcas @itsinjustbeing @joharvele @jacobglaser @jackthomson90-blog @lucymorans @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs @magnoliadean @maxguevra @misha-collins @mckkachins @marvells @mochadean @nesnej @nuntox @presidentbidean @rocksaltseraph @sarahblakes @starlightcastiel @starrynightdeancas @sobsicles @shelikestv @sinnabonka @sourpatchdean @spnsmile @smiledean @seraphcastiel @soleeryx @subbydean @tearsofgrace @teamfoundfamily @theedorksinlove @thatisahotsoup @ultravioletcas @valleydean @waywardism @winchester-reload @winchestergifs @xofemeraldstars @yelenasbelovaas @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @saltyghostsworld @plantdadcas @sammy-501 @dtadeancas @subtledean @kaz2y5baby @angelic-bee-enthusiast @gardenforcas @bimiserables @gabrielle-main @highkey-dysphoric @lila-tom @teddybluesclues

#sorry guys! original post got messed with the links and I can't fix them....so just decided to make another oner of archive purposes((#don't mind me))#destiel fanfic #spncreatorsdaily #destiel fanfiction #destiel fix it #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #destiel poetry #anz writes stuff and things #fic tag

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pancake-man · 3 years

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PRUMANO SECRET VALENTINE

My gift for @canadiatuxedo for @prumano-week‘s secret valentine!! I went with the prompts Bakery and Fantasy AU, which turned out less fantasy and more medieval times? Anyways, sorry it’s late, I really hope you like it!

AO3 link

The world is a vast place, and Gilbert had travelled the whole thing round three times before he stumbled on a town named Lumin. It was nestled in tall mountains, and so small it hardly deserved a name. Normally it wasn’t the sort of place Gilbert would stop at, but one does grow tired of large fantastical cities eventually, and so he decided to try his luck somewhere more… quaint.

(This was his excuse, anyways. What actually happened was that Gilbert ran out of money halfway to the great city of Aveni and the carriage he hitched a ride on had unceremoniously dropped him in the middle of nowhere and driven off without looking back. Gilbert was stuck there until he earned enough money to grab another ride, but who knew how long that would take in a town that relied more on trade than money)

A small town, Gilbert thought, was the perfect place to start his fortune. So he had set forth with nothing but the clothes on his back and his flute, eager to entertain the town with his beautiful voice, stories, and musical skill.

Now he sat on a fountain in the town square, exhausted from a day of playing his heart out. His poor flute seemed just as tired, sitting quietly on the stone beside him. In his cap he’d only received a few copper, not even enough to rent a room, let alone buy himself a ticket out.

As Gilbert began to reason a back-up plan, his nose picked up a smell drifting on the breeze. Rossinia has one main street with the town square, the church(which doubled as town hall), a small inn, and a small number of shops. Gilbert gathered his things and stood, following the scent to the bakery. He counted his coins. Four copper. Enough for a roll, at least. Maybe a sausage if he was lucky.

Gilbert pushed open the door to the bakery and was immediately greeted by the warm scent of baked goods. He hadn’t realised how chilly it was getting outside until he was surrounded but hot ovens and warm rolls. His mouth watered. He went to the counter to order and-

“Fuck off, we’re closed!” Came a cry from the back. Gilbert leaned around the counter and saw the back of a young brunet working the oven. He had a large iron rod and was poking at the coals. He leaned over to add more and Gilbert’s mouth watered for a different reason.

“Um, I just need something small?” Gilbert looked around for a menu with prices, but there wasn’t one to be found. Of course not, because that would make sense.

The man in the back room cursed again, threw the door to the coals shut, and wiped his hands on his apron before stomping out to the front. He looked about ready to tear Gilbert a new one when he paused and gave him a once over. Gilbert stood up a little straighter and pushed his silver hair back self-consciously, and gave the man an eye himself.

He was short, even compared to Gilbert, which didn’t happen often, and seemed only a few years younger. He had dark curly hair and tanned skin, and the brownest eyes Gilbert thinks he’s ever seen(and he’s seen a lot of eyes). His lips and eyebrows seemed permanently pulled downwards, but with his pudgy cheeks it was the opposite of intimidating. He wore a green short-sleeved tunic and an apron, both of which were covered in flour and served the added bonus of showing off his (very nice) arms. Really, he was pretty cute.

“You’re not from around here,” the man said with a scowl.

“Eh, yeah, I’m just dropping by. Travelling bard, yaknow how it is,” Gilbert hefted his flute as evidence. The stranger’s scowl didn’t let up.

“What kind of dumbass comes to a town like this for money? You’d be better off in Aveni or something.”

“Oh, this is just a stop. Consider yourselves blessed to get to hear my amazing playing,” Gilbert winked and leaned on the counter.

The man calmly pulled a rag from the pocket of his apron. “Hair and eyes like yours don’t seem like a fucking blessing.” He whipped Gilbert’s arm off the counter with the rag. “And nobody wants to hear your shit music.”

Okay, ouch. Both the rag and the comment. Gilbert jingled his cap. “I’ll have you know I earned four coppers today, thank you very much. My music is awesome.”

His cap was snatched from his hands before Gilbert could react, and the man poked through the change before handing it back with an eyeroll. “Yeah, you can get about jack and, let me check, shit for that. I might have a stale bread roll in the back for that much.”

Now Gilbert’s easy air fell. That was a high price, though he supposed it made sense considering how far they were from any actual people. “That’s… it?” He poked through the coins again. “I can work for a bit more or something. I’m not very strong, but I’m smart. I’m Gilbert, by the way.” He stuck out a palm as a way of calming the stranger’s (frankly unwarranted) dislike of him.

“Tch,” the man batted Gilbert’s hand away. “Don’t care.” He stretched and looked around the room. “I guess I can give you a fresh one…” he started.

“Oh! Awesome!” Gilbert grabbed the man’s hand anyways, shaking it vigorously. “That’s really nice of you, yknow I’ve had a pretty tough week and it’s good to know there’s nice people even in a weird town like…” and on he went.

The man looked taken aback, too stunned by Gilbert’s sudden change in demeanor to comprehend any of his babbling, let alone retrieve his hand. “Oi!” He finally snapped, cutting Gilbert off mid-tangent. “I’m not your damn friend, capiche? I’m just giving you extra because you look like a fucking ghost and it makes me feel bad. I mean shit, when was the last time you ate?”

Good question. Gilbert had snacked plenty on stolen goods from his ride’s bag, but it had been a while since he’d gotten a proper meal. He shrugged. The man threw his arms up. “You see! I hate people like you, wandering from town to town and expecting people to take care of your dumb ass because you can’t take care of yourself. You’re lucky you’re cute, for fuck’s sake! Even with the weird eye thing, I mean seriously what the hell is up with that? It’s fucking weird. And-”

It was Gilbert’s turn to cut him off. “You think I’m cute?” he asked, feeling his ears start to go red.

There was a pause before the man was shaking his head, clearly flustered. “No, I didn’t mean- I barely even know you! That’s a weird thing to say to a complete fucking stranger! What the fuck, Lovino?”

There was practically steam coming out of Gilbert’s ears as he attempted to parse what just happened. He’d been hit on before, sure, but never by anyone this pretty, and never so outright. The red eyes usually threw off anyone who actually found him hot, and even without them Gilbert wouldn’t consider himself ‘conventionally attractive’, whatever that meant. The only thing his mind managed to pick up on was “Lovino? Is that your name?”

Lovino was working his fingers through his hair and looked up at that. “Yes?” he squeaked. “I mean! No! Fuck you!” He grabbed the nearest baked good, a warm pretzel covered in butter, and shoved it at Gilbert. “It’s free! Fuck off!” He said and pushed Gilbert towards the door.

Gilbert was still tasting the name Lovino on his tongue and went on instinct. He ended up outside, pretzel in hand, wondering what the hell just happened. Turning, he could see Lovino (Lovino, he thought again) hurriedly closing the place up. It was bright inside the bakery. The light spilled through the windows and into the quickly-darkening street. Gilbert looked up to see the last bits of sun dip behind a mountain.

By the time he turned again, the bakery was dark, and the door to the back room was closed. There was still bread on the shelves and flour on the floor, but apparently Lovino had decided that was enough and the day was done. A chill blew down main street, and Gilbert stuffed the warm pretzel into his mouth. Maybe he could find a stable to sleep in… Or even better, a barn.

The next day found Gilbert again in the main square, cap on the stone before him and flute pressed lightly to his lips. Today he caught the children headed home from a day of school, and they were eager to gather round and listen to his stories. Being children, they only had two copper between them, but they more than made up for it with sweets, shiny rocks, and marbles. This brought Gilbert up to six coppers and enough sweets to make a meal(anything adults say about ‘vegetables’ and ‘health’ is a lie).

Even while doing his bit, Gilbert only needed to glance up to be able to see the bakery across the street, and Lovino inside, very pointedly ignoring him. The butcher, the cobbler, and even the bishop were kind enough to step out and listen to Gilbert’s tunes, but Lovino kept his back to the windows whenever possible. It was cute, Gilbert thought. The more he watched the man, the more he felt a tightness in his chest.

Six copper… Hardly enough for a carriage, but a perfect place to start saving. Gilbert chewed on his lip as he counted out his day’s earnings. The sun would set soon, and most people had gone home or were in the process of closing up their shops. Surely he could spare a few coin, right?

Gilbert went into the bakery.

Immediately he was greeted by a snort, and “You again? I told you I don’t do handouts! And also to fuck off!”

Gilbert grinned and deposited his earnings on the counter. “No handouts, today. Turns out your town actually enjoys my awesome music.”

Lovino poked at the copper like it was a venomous spider. “You didn’t steal it?” That was actually rather insulting. Gilbert’s eyebrows knit together. “Of course not! I was out by the fountain all day. If you’d bothered to look up, you’d have seen me.”

There wasn't a response, instead Lovino stared at Gilbert. Or right behind him, it wasn’t clear. Gilbert looked about and back to Lovino. He had such deep brown eyes, Gilbert could write songs about them. "You have hay in your fucking hair," he said, in a voice that was absolutely melodi-

"Eh?" Gilbert raised a hand to pat at his hair. "Where?"

"It's right- no, you're missing it. Just, shit, let me-" Lovino leaned across the counter, his dark fingers combing through Gilbert's hair, and Gilbert forgot to breathe. Lovino pulled back with a large clump of straw, and the two looked at it for a moment.

"Huh," said Gilbert. "I dunno how I missed that."

"Haybrain," Lovino scowled, and turned to toss the straw in a wastebasket. "How the hell did you get that much hay in your hair anyways? Sleep in a fucking haystack?"

"Uh, yeah, actually." Not far outside of town, Gilbert had found a nice barn to sleep in. It was small, and brown, and missing a door, but it still had a good haypile, and not too many bugs, so he counted as a win. "I've slept in worse places though, no big deal."

The coins made a scraping sound as they were pushed across the counter to him. "So you're a hobo," Lovino said and began packing a bag full of rolls. "How much shit have you eaten since that pretzel?"

Gilbert's ears turned red again. "I prefer awesome travelling bard, but yeah, sure, hobo. And I'll have you know," he turned up his nose, making light of the situation, "that I recieved a fortune's worth of candy from the schoolchildren today, and it has fed me quite well."

"A haybrain hobo who steals from kids, sure." A smile twitched at the corner of Lovino's lips if Gilbert squinted just right. The baker closed the bag and handed it over. It was still warm from the oven. "I don't do handouts. You owe me." Gilbert began to go on his grovelling spiel when Lovino held up a finger to stop him. "Nope. I'm serious. Go play your dumb songs until I'm closed, then I've got a place for you to stay until you fuck off to Aveni or wherever. But you work for your keep, capische?" Before Gilbert could respond, Lovino pressed his finger forward and into Gilbert's lips. "Capische?"

Gilbert nodded. Lovino pulled away, satisfied. "Okay, then help me clean this shit up. Nobody gets a proper dinner or sleep until this place closes, and it's gonna take a while since somebody fucked me over last night. So stop fucking distracting me with your pretty, stupid face."

"My what?" Gilbert managed to ask.

"Your pretty fucking stupid face. Here." A broom handle was shoved into Gilbert's hands and he was directed into the back room to sweep the hearth. In the time it took him to clean the ashes, Lovino had put up all the unsold items, washed all the dishes, wiped down the counters, and shut the blinds and locked the door.

Gilbert wiped a sooty arm across his face and smiled. "Anything else, Lord Lovino?"

Lovino frowned at him. "How in the fuck did you manage to get that covered in soot?"

"I've never had to clean a fireplace," Gilbert shrugged. Lovino groaned.

"Fine, I might have a shirt or something that would fit you."

The only thing left to do was blow out the candles. Lovino made him resweep the shop front anyways before he deemed the bakery clean enough to close, and put out the lights. He led Gilbert upstairs to a small living quarter. There was a fireplace with herbs strung to dry above it, a small shelf lined with jars, a trunk, and a table with one chair, but Gilbert's eyes were drawn to the bed. The only bed. The small only bed. Now his whole face was red.

Despite Gilbert's best efforts, Lovino caught this, and his eyes widened in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, I didn't- I didn't even think about that," he blustered through a series of surprisngly curse-void apologies while digging through the trunk. "Just, here," and he threw a tunic at Gilbert's head.

Gilbert caught it easily. It was a plain red linen tunic, and seemed only a bit too big. He looked at Lovino. "Aren't you going to turn around?" A squeak of shame and Lovino turned his back. Gilbert slipped off his sooty clothes with a promise of "I'll wash them tomorrow," and put on the tunic. "Okay, you're good."

Lovino looked back and froze, bottom lip between his teeth. Gilbert pulled one of the sleeves up from where it had slipped off his shoulder self consciously. "Is there still hay in my hair?"

"Nope!" Lovino said, far too quickly. "I mean. No. You look great. I mean fine. I mean you look like shit. I'm going to bed." He swiveled on his heel and went back to the trunk, procuring a pile of furs, probably saved for cold winter months. "The floor should be fine enough, at least better than a hay stack, for fucks sake. Figure yourself out." With that, Lovino threw himself into the bed and turned his back to Gilbert.

"This'll be fine, thanks," Gilbert began, but it was clear Lovino was ignoring him. Eh. He put his flute and his cap on the ground and spread out the furs, then laid down. He wasn't used to sleeping this early, so instead he studied the eaves of the ceiling above him. He rolled over, stared at the back of Lovino's brunet head.

Lovino was an interesting person. Gilbert had met lots of interesting people in his travels, but none quite like this. People were generally either kind or not, but Gilbert had never met someone kind enough to open their home to a complete stranger, who then pretended to hate everyone and everything. He didn't understand. He wanted to understand. It was weird.

"Lovi?" He asked the back of Lovino's head. Silence. Then:

"The fuck did you just call me?"

"Why do you live alone?"

Another pause, this one longer. Gilbert almost asked another question to break the tension before Lovino responded. "Cause my family all had better places to be. Why do you travel alone?"

"Cause I left my family behind," Gilbert answered, easily. Lovino shifted in his bed. "Are you lonely?"

"No. Are you?"

"Yes." Lovino stiffened. Gilbert rolled onto his back. "I was never really close with my folks, even before I left. It's hard to miss what you never had, but I miss it anyways."

Quiet stretched between them. Gilbert could hear Lovino's breath slow, to the point that he almost thought him asleep. "Are you cold?" came Lovino's question, whispered so softly Gilbert hardly heard it.

"Yes," Gilbert lied.

He heard the sound of blankets shifting, and when he looked over, Lovino was staring back, his blankets open in a welcome. Neither said anything. Gilbert stood from his nest and shuffled into the already warm bed, pressed himself against Lovino's warm body.

"Fuck!" Lovino shouted, kicking away his feet. "Your feet as cold as balls!"

Gilbert laughed and shoved him back. "That's just because you're too warm. Sorry, Lovi."

Lovino rolled so his back was too Gilbert, his legs pointedly pressed to the wall and away from Gilbert's. "Fuck you," pause, "Gil."

(I realised only afterwards that this would’ve been better from Lovi’s perspective but, eh. Two lonely losers who managed to find each other. Gilbert ends up staying in town and working at the bakery, probably also teaching music lessons or something. Lovino gets to buy a bigger bed. It’s gay. Sorry you didn’t get a kiss. Happy Valentine’s Day!)

#hetalia #hws #hws prussia #hws romano #prumano #prumano secret valentine #prumano secret valentines #my writing

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starvationfreediet · 3 years

Text

How To Lose up to 50 LBS Before SUMMER Without Starving Yourself? (2021 Update)

I’m gonna be honest with you: weight loss takes a lot of effort. No matter what technique you do, there will be some resistance, and that’s totally natural.

There’s no magic program or way to lose weight. If weight loss were so easy, everyone on Earth would be a supermodel.

Now, the idea of losing weight sounds really appealing, I know. When you lose weight, you feel fulfilled and confident because you have ticked off one of your goals off your list.

When you lose weight, you literally have the mindset to achieve anything.

But it doesn’t mean that there are no easy ways to lose weight.

What the average person does when wanting to lose weight

When you think of weight loss, what comes to your mind?

Calories

Hunger

Stress?

Well, that’s common. When I tried losing weight, that is also what I thought about, until I learned something that changed my life.

“Create a diet suited for your lifestyle, not a lifestyle suited for your diet”.

When wanting to lose weight, this is what people usually do:

embark on crash diets

starve themselves

give up their favorite foods

completely change their lifestyle

And although the average person might see some results in doing that, they will not keep the fat OFF, and here is why:

After having melted a few pounds, the average person will go back to their original lifestyle and end up back to eating the foods they gave up during their diet.

This means that they will gain back the weight that they lost!

But imagine if you could lose fat permanently?

Imagine if you could see progress every single week.

Imagine if you could lose weight without starving yourself while still eating what you love.

Imagine seeing progress while still allowing yourself to eat tasty meals like ribeye steak with roasted garlic and butter?

How cool would that be?

But first:

Let me share my story…

Now, you surely have heard a lot of weight loss stories saying things like “I started losing weight in a few days when I ate THIS, or by drinking THIS“…

Well I didn’t do any of those things, because if I said that, then I would be lying to you. No. My weight loss was totally natural.

I just had to take a different approach which I’m gonna share with you right now.

My name is Andrea, I’m 24 and I’m from Colorado but have lived in Los Angeles, California, for most of my life now.

Despite my weight issue, I majored in nutrition in college because it really fascinated me. I now love what I do: helping people lead a healthy life.

About a year ago, I had had enough. I am 5″10 and weighed 190 pounds. I was overweight, helpless and desperate. I had tried every diet out there, or so it seemed, and all of them had barely any results on me.

When I was lucky enough to lose a few pounds, I would gain them right back in a week or even less! No matter how much I crash dieted, nothing would work.

I would blame myself for this. Most of my family members are either overweight or obese, so I don’t have the best genetics. My metabolism is very slow.

My best friend, Clara, saw that my weight issue was putting a huge strain on my mental health. So she decided to do some research to find something to help me out.

After a few days, she comes to my house and tells me that she might have found the solution for me. When she told me what it was, I laughed…

“Clara, there is no way this is possible,” I said. “I cannot possibly lose weight without starving myself and still eating what I love, that’s crazy!”

But she pressured me to do the program that she found for me. So since she insisted and wanted to help me, I figured that I’d just try out The Custom Keto Diet Plan.

The program was really affordable and plus if I wasn’t happy with it, I’d get my money back. So what did I have to lose, right?

After the first week of the program, I couldn’t believe what happened. When I got onto the scale, I weighed about 183 lbs. That’s right. I had melted about 7 pounds in 1 week.

I had never seen such progress and was really surprised because this Custom Keto Diet Plan didn’t feel like a diet at all!

I was:

Eating what I loved every day

Never hungry

Seeing progress

I was seeing progress while enjoying the process…

And even though I thought I was genetically doomed, this program helped me anyway.

I was seeing huge progress every week! And at the end of the 8-week program, I weighed 138 pounds, which was 2 pounds UNDER my goal weight. I was extremely happy, and I still am.

And let me tell you that the fat I melted is GONE. It has been about 8 months since I lost weight and my body weight has never gone above 140 lbs since.

This is possible for you too. Imagine being able to enjoy your diet while seeing progress!

Now, I know what you’re thinking, dear reader: ‘what the hell is this Custom Keto Diet Plan? Why should I care?’. And that’s ok, I was skeptical too when learning about it.

But if you stick to the end, I will reveal to you that it is not some “magic” program. As I said, any program you will take will require effort on your part!

It is perfectly logical and if done seriously will bring you amazing results!

Even me, who thought to be “genetically doomed” was able to do it.

But let me ask you this, reader: do you really wanna lose weight? Do you really wanna lead a healthier life?

If yes, then I strongly recommend you reading this until the end because you will be able to do just that literally tonight.

There is no better feeling than knowing you lost weight and achieved your goal.

MY GAME CHANGER:

Most products or services out there will not keep the fat you lost “off” if you know what I mean.

And that’s a bummer because the worst feeling is ending up back at square one. I’ve been there before, and you probably have too.

But imagine if you could lose weight fast and effectively without starving yourself?

How amazing would it be if you could enjoy your favorite foods and still see progress?

And more importantly: imagine if you could do all those things and not gain back the pounds you lost?

How cool would all that be?

What IS the Custom Keto Diet Plan?

The Custom Keto Diet Plan is a program that focuses on creating customized meal plans for you based on:

what you love eating, so you won’t give up your favorite foods

goal weight, so you’ll 100% meet it

Daily activity levels, so you don’t need to be exercising daily if you don’t want to

overall lifestyle so that you don’t have to change your daily life

It is a quick weight loss plan that is best for an upcoming occasion, big day, or to shed vacations weight.

It is based on a scientifically proven method and uses only healthy food sources, so it is completely safe for you

A step by step guide on weight-loss explaining how to achieve the target weight, so you’ll know exactly what to do

It gives a complete list of foods to select as per personal likings, so you’ll be eating what you love everyday

An accurate diet plan is based on every user’s micro calories and macro calories.

A complete grocery list for shopping that can be downloaded, so you’ll know what to cook

And so much more…

There are no supplements or exercise needed.

And those services will be effective for you because they only make minor changes to your diet. Plus since you won’t need to change your lifestyle, it will work long-term for you.

Thanks to the custom keto diet, I lost over 50lbs in about 2 months, and I would see progress daily.

Imagine seeing progress every day! No better feeling.

Now you have 2 options if this interests you:

Option 1:

Go to a dietitian and ask them to come up with a custom meal plan for you. This is great, but quite expensive: $100 per session plus $400 for check-ins and updates.

Option 2:

Check out the program that I have linked below, which does exactly the same things but at a fraction of this price, so you’ll save a lot of money and time.

If this interests you, grab yourself a custom keto diet plan for a discounted price right below (60-day money back guarantee).

In addition, receive a FREE Deliciously Easy Keto Recipe E-book.

Get Your Custom Keto Diet Right Here!

No subscription, keep your meal plan for life!

What do you have to lose? Either love your meal plan and see progress or get your money back!

If you do the program seriously, it will be a huge game-changer and you will lose weight way before summer begins

#goal weight #weightloss #lose weight #nutrition #healthy #keto #calories #food #healthy food recipes #foodforthought

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fanfictionaries · 4 years

Text

Love and Academia Ch. 3 - Dream Homes and Disloyalty

Pairing: AU Professor!Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Swearing, smut, NSFW/18+ only, mentions of death/violence/suicide

Author’s note: We get a nice little look into Bucky’s perspective this week. Also because this is an AU and I am the God on the worlds I create, Steve has a big family and he’s from the midwest. I just want him to be a happy little farm boy!

And as always, I do not currently have a beta reader so please excuse any larger issues. it’s just little ol’ me!

***

Bucky’s feet hit the ground. Left, right, left, right. He was on the final mile of his morning run. Usually by this time he’d be well into his runner’s high, feeling great as he finished off his fifth mile, but today it was like each step made him weaker and slower. His legs cut through the air like a knife cutting through frozen butter. He thought about stopping, just giving up and calling that day’s run short, but a yip at his side and the brush of a cold nose on his calf eliminated the idea immediately. Trixie, his border collie, would be an energetic wreck all day if she didn’t get her full five miles. So, he pushed through, finally slowing to a walk when he’d fully completed his run.

“There, ya happy?” Bucky asked, looking down at his dog. Trixie looked up at her owner briefly, tail wagging, tongue hanging from her mouth, and looking as pleased as ever as she padded beside him. He held her leash loosely in his hand as Trixie led the way towards their new house. Their new home.

It was a red brick Victorian style home nestled on a quiet back street. It’s deep green door, white trim, and beautiful garden of roses and irises held a certain charm. The garden had been the main selling point for him and Diane. Diane had been so taken by the white picket fence in the front yard, with the ivy-colored trellis framing the walkway to the front door. She insisted they put in an offer straight away, even though they weren’t planning on moving for another year. Bucky had called her crazy, saying that it was insane for them to pay both rent in Brooklyn and a mortgage in Idaho. But she had reasoned that with both of their jobs and their minor expenses they could easily afford it and it was a small price to pay for their dream home.

“You mean your dream home?” Bucky laughed.

“It’s not your dream home?” Diane asked, slightly crestfallen at the realization.

“Your dream is my dream,” Bucky said, and it was true. His dream was her and therefore whatever her dream was, was his as well.

But now as he treaded across the loose boards on the front porch to unlock the door that stuck, he cursed her for making this their dream. Opening the door and crossing the threshold, he unhooked Trixie’s leash and placed his keys on the table next to the front door. Trixie, apparently wiped from their run, laid on her bed across the living room and promptly fell asleep. Bucky reached for the remote and turned on the TV, skimming through the channels until he got the local news, and then settled into the rest of his workout. It was always the same: sit ups, pushups, pull ups, repeat. The same simple routine helping to bring him clarity. Something he needed a lot of these days.

The decision to leave Brooklyn had been his idea. His contract with NYU was coming to an end, and he just kept feeling like he needed a change. He’d called Brooklyn home his entire life. Despite his short time away for undergrad at Boston University, he’d been born in Brooklyn, grown up in the streets of Brooklyn with his brothers, gotten his PhD at NYU, gotten his first teaching position there, met Diane there. But he was growing restless of the same old story. Diane, thankfully, agreed. She, being from Montana, enjoyed her time on the east side of the country, but was ready to be closer to home.

Bucky had just finished his last set when his phone buzzed on the coffee table. Not even thinking, he reached for it and pressed the green call button.

“So, he finally answers,” Steve boomed from the other end. Bucky sighed inwardly; he’d been avoiding Steve all week since they’d last seen each other at the bar.

“Hey man, what’s up?”

“Oh, you know, I was just wondering if I could actually see my best friend and catch up with him finally. Or will I have to wait another six years?”

“Alright, alright, message received jerk. Why don’t we grab coffee this morning? I’m headed into the office a little later and I have time before then,” Bucky said, feeling guilty for not making it up to Steve for completely bailing on their guys night last week. Steve laughed and agreed, throwing out a time and place before ending the call.

Bucky showered before dressing in a pair of jeans and white t-shirt. He brushed his wet hair and contemplated trimming his beard before saying ‘fuck it’ and walking out of the bathroom. Making his way down the stairs, he was halfway down when a step gave under his foot. With a loud crack, the wood split in two and he was ankle deep in pain and frustration.

“Jesus fucking Christ!”

Bucky pulled his foot from the hole and continued walking down the stairs gingerly. Pulling up his pant leg, he assessed that there was minimal damage, and proceeded to grab his wallet, keys, and phone from the coffee table. He crouched down by Trixie’s bed and gave her a scratch behind the ear.

“I’ll be back later girl,” Bucky said. Trixie nuzzled his palm with her nose before giving it a kiss and laying her head back down on her bed.

Fifteen minutes later and Bucky was seated at a table in a small coffee shop, ice coffee in hand, with Steve sat across from him.

“It’s good to see you man. Really good,” Steve said, taking a sip of his coffee and leaning back in his seat.

“I know, it really is. Tell me again why you moved all the way out here after college?” Bucky asked, rubbing a bead of condensation away from the side of his cup.

“Oh, you know me. Boston was fun but after four years I was done with the big city. It’s not home, but most of my family isn’t even in Minnesota anymore anyways.”

“And you’re liking it here so far?”

“Oh, I love it. My parents are here, so is my sister Mary. Mike’s still in Bloomington, but him and the wife have been talking about moving down here too. You know us Rogers—can’t stay apart for too long. We always end up finding our way back together,” Steve chuckled.

“Yea, you are a dysfunctional bunch, aren’t you,” Bucky teased.

“Oh please, I’ve met the Barnes family several times. How many times has your mom called you?”

“Today or in the last week?” Bucky laughed, thinking about how his mom had called him at least three times a day for the past month he had been in Idaho.

“Mary still seeing that finance guy?” Bucky asked, trying to remember the small details Steve had dropped about his family over the years through their phone calls.

“Oh Doug? God no. No, he turned out to be a real piece of shit…why? You interested?” Steve grinned, raising an eyebrow at Bucky.

“You seriously trying to set me up with your sister man?”

“Hey—" Steve held his hands up in defense “—I’m just saying. She’s always had a bit of a thing for you.”

“Well, that’s certainly news to me, but I’m not exactly single Steve,” Bucky sighed.

“I thought you said Diane said—”

“Yea, I know what she said but it doesn’t really mean I agree with it. That was her idea, not mine.”

“So, the other night at the bar?”

“Was a mistake. Besides, nothing really happened.”

Steve looked skeptical, “She seemed pretty upset right before she left. You sure nothing really happened?”

“What are you implying?”

“Nothing. I’m just worried about you.”

There was a long silence as they sat there. Bucky refusing to look at Steve. Steve refusing to look away from Bucky. Bucky had felt guilty that night with Emily. He truly had. Diane’s words had run through his head that night over and over again. He thought that if he had kept it impersonal, maybe he could do it. With Diane not there, he was lonely and god, he had been wildly attracted to Emily. Probably more than he liked to admit. But no matter what Diane said, when it came down to it, it still felt like a betrayal.

“Well, at least something good came out of that night,” Bucky stated, steering the conversation in another direction.

“Oh yea? What?”

“I’m assuming you went home with her friend, yea?”

At the mention of Natasha, Steve’s face went bright red and he coughed into his hand, “We uh, no we didn’t. She wanted to but…”

“You said no?” Bucky asked shocked.

“Yea, well you know me. I’m a bit old fashioned. I want to take a girl out on an actual date before we—”

“Fuck each other’s brains out?”

“Something like that—" Steve smirked into his coffee cup, “—I’m taking her out for dinner tomorrow actually.”

Bucky smiled at Steve, his best friend looking bashful but excited, “Gonna’ show her the ol’ Steve Rogers’ charm?”

“I’m just hoping I don’t make a fool of myself. It’s been a while since I went out on a date. You know, what with me and Peggie splitting and she’s…very confident. She definitely knows what she wants,” Steve admitted.

“Oh, you’re for sure going to make a fool of yourself, but I don’t think that’ll hurt your chances.”

Bucky laughed as Steve reached across the table and tried to punch him in the arm.

“Jerk,” Steve said, smiling the whole time. They talked for a while longer, Bucky asking about Steve’s family and Steve doing the same. They talked about mutual friends and what they were up to. About an hour had passed when Steve asked about Bucky’s new job.

“So, when do you start your new gig?”

“This coming Monday. I was actually going to stop by today and take care of paperwork, maybe check out my new office,” Bucky said, draining the last of his coffee.

“Well, I won’t keep you from that. I should probably get going. I’ve got to head to the gym and then get home and get some stuff done.”

They stood and said their goodbyes, promising to hang out again soon before exiting the coffee shop and getting in their cars. It was a short drive from there to the university. The red brick and lush green trees reminding Bucky of home. However, stepping out of his truck, the dry heat was a pleasant reminder that this place was definitely not humid, sticky Brooklyn in August. Locking his car behind him in the visitor’s parking lot, he walked casually towards the Life Science’s building. He admired the landscaping as he walked, always finding humor in how every university seemed to try and make their campus as pretty as possible right before school started. A nicer grounds always did well for visiting prospective students, parents dropping off their children for their first year, and returning students who wanted a reason to stay.

The Life Science’s building was definitely older than some of the other buildings on campus, but that didn’t both him too much. He climbed the stairs, old linoleum steps peeling and cracking as he double checked the office number on his phone. Room 439. As he neared the room tucked back into a corner of the floor, he began to hear music. Gradually it increased in volume, a punky beat from a band that he recognized. It became clear that the music was coming from room 439 when he entered through the front door. Looking around he saw an older lab, boxes piled high and lab equipment strewn about haphazardly. The music was coming from the office within the lab, this time though, he could hear a voice singing along to it. It was loud, raspy, and overall offkey. Maybe he had the wrong room number? He walked towards the office, hoping to ask whoever was in there for some help finding the right place. Inside was a young woman dressed in a pair of baggy jeans and t-shirt. He watched in amusement as she danced to the music, obviously under the impression that she was alone as her hips wiggled and head bopped side to side.

“Um, excuse me. I think this is my office,” he called over the music, feeling bad that he was probably going to embarrass the girl. She jumped at his voice and when she whipped around the ground fell out from underneath him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked. Anger, for some reason, being his initial reaction to seeing Emily standing in what was supposed to be his office. Emily, a woman who had told him that she was a bartender. Emily, a woman he had almost hooked up with and then snubbed very dickishly at a bar about a week ago.

She seemed pretty upset right before she left. Steve’s words rang in his mind.

#fanfic #fanfiction #marvel #avengers #bucky #bucky x ofc #professor!bucky #au #au bucky barnes #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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the-expert-zone · 3 years

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15 Awesome Keto Gifts You Can Order With Free 2-Day Shipping

Shopping for the perfect Keto gifts during the holidays can be exhausting. Don’t worry though — here’s a list of my favorite products that fit seamlessly into a low carb lifestyle.

Better yet, most of these products can be ordered with free 2-day shipping if you are a Prime member.

Dash Mini Waffle Iron

The Dash Mini Waffle Iron took over the Keto Instagram community by storm this past year! I personally use mine every single week.

These are great gifts for college students as well and couldn’t be easier to use.

Get it on Amazon

Veggie Spiralizer

This is a simple little cooking gadget that produces some AMAZING results! If you’ve ever seen noodles made from zucchini or carrots, they were probably made using a spiralizer.

When I first started Keto, I purchased one of the crank versions. It works great, but it is the biggest pain to clean.

This one is much easier, and they even provide the tools to clean it! You can’t beat that.

Get it on Amazon

Keto Cheat Sheet Magnets

The perfect gift for beginner’s of the ketogenic diet! These magnets take the guesswork out of one of the most common questions — “Is it Keto?”

Color coded and graphed by food type, use these visuals to help map your low carb meals.

Get it on Amazon

Beeswax Food Wrapper

How cute are these avocado patterned food wrappers? Better yet, they’re a good choice for the environment, too!

These reusable wraps are coated in beeswax and can be used multiple times to wrap and cover your foods.

You can get roughly 150 uses from each wrap, so these should last a while, too.

Get it on Amazon

Bacon Fat Strainer/Storage

This stainless steel oil strainer is a perfect gift for the Keto-er that is obsessed with bacon!

After preparing your bacon, simply pour the leftover fat through the mesh strainer and into the container. This will keep the delicious fat separated from any stray bits of bacon. The straining step is super important because the bits can go rancid and ruin all of your beloved bacon fat!

This is a high quality upgrade from the old Maxwell House coffee tin my mom used to keep in the kitchen, haha.

Get it on Amazon

Dash Egg Cooker

Eggs are a staple for many of us on the Keto diet. With this Dash Rapid Egg Cooker, you can easily prepare perfect poached, soft-boiled and hard-boiled eggs. You can also whip up scrambled eggs and omelets, as well!

When boiling eggs, the egg cooker does some sort of wizardry that makes the shell so easy to remove. I’ve never had eggs peel so effortlessly!

The egg cookers come in a variety of colors that will suit just about any kitchen!

Get it on Amazon

Insulated Shopping Bags

My mother-in-law bought us one of these insulated shopping bags last Christmas and I absolutely adore it!

First and foremost, they’re awesome for the environment. Instead of getting plastic bags, just pack up your items in these!

They also stand upright and stay put in the car while driving. Nothing is more cringe-worthy than when you’re rounding a corner and you hear the jar of Rao’s tomato sauce fly across your trunk.

These bags come in a two pack, making each one just $10! You can totally get two gifts out of one. If you want to take this a step further, you can fill the bag with some Keto staples like almond flour, erythritol, and maybe a few of Good Dee’s low carb dessert mixes!

Get it on Amazon

Light & Phone Holder

If the Keto-er in your life is anything like me, they probably love taking photos of their food and sharing it across social media.

This contraption makes the process a lot easier and also provides a steady balance with minimal shaking. The lighting is also surprisingly good! This is perfect if you are just starting out as a blogger or social media influencer. It also makes a great stocking stuffer!

Life is too short for ugly food.

Get it on Amazon

Keto Krate

Keto Krate is available for $39.99 and shipping is free for both if you’re in the United States.

You can sign up for a monthly subscription or simply send a box as a one-time gift. It’s so simple and totally worth it!

I’ve been receiving a Keto Krate for years now, and it’s one of my absolute favorite things. Each month, I get a box of sugar free goodies shipped directly to my doorstep and it’s almost like having your birthday twelve times a year.

Keto Krate is also conscious of the ingredients in the products they send out. All contents are gluten free and you will never see ingredients like maltitol listed (it tends to give people explosive diarrhea).

Through Keto Krate, I’ve discovered some of my favorite products like Smart Cakes (Lemon is my personal favorite) and Keto Carne jerky.

You can save 25% on your Keto Krate order with Coupon Code: nobunplease

Order Keto Krate

Sweese Butter Dish

On the ketogenic diet, we tend to go through A LOT of butter. I like to keep a bar of Kerrygold on hand for when my dishes really need a boost of rich butter flavor (I can seriously eat it like cheese, too).

This butter dish is big enough to store an entire block of Kerrygold! If you are unfamiliar, Kerrygold is a butter produced from grassfed cows and the packages are about twice the width of a traditional stick of butter.

For those of us drinking bulletproof coffee (coffee + butter + coconut oil) or wanting spreadable butter, this is perfect. You can leave it out on the counter and use it whenever you need it. The cover also means that no bugs or pet hair will ever make it’s way into your butter!

Get it on Amazon

Cold Brew Pitcher

A cold brew pitcher is an excellent gift for the coffee lover in your life!

This pitcher makes it so easy to whip up a batch of cold brew at home. I use the 2 quart size, which means I only have to prepare one batch per week. The handle makes it super simple to pour straight from the fridge.

Ever since I’ve switched to cold brew, I find I can drink it black with nothing added. The result is a super smooth cold coffee at an affordable price! Score.

Get it on Amazon

Vava Electric Milk Frother

If a certain someone on your list is a coffee fan, you can’t go wrong with this milk frother as one of your Keto gifts! No need to go to a local shop when you can do it just as well in your own kitchen.

This electric milk frother produces A LOT of foam and you can use all sorts of bases like heavy whipping cream, coconut milk, and even almond milk. Pair it with a cute coffee mug and you’re set.

Now that’s the way to start the day!

Get it on Amazon

Anova Sous Vide

Are you horrible at preparing meat? A sous vide might just be the perfect solution.

A sous vide is an electric device that gives you the ability to cook your food at a very precise temperature. Typically, you seal your food, submerge it in a container filled with water, and the device does all of the hard work.

This means that you can perfectly cook your steaks to ANY temperature and it will come out exactly how you like!

I’ve even seen some make a copycat version of the egg bites from Starbucks using a sous vide.

Get it on Amazon

GoWISE Air Fryer

If you haven’t used an air fryer yet, you’re severely missing out! When I received one as a gift a couple years ago, I didn’t think much of it.

My first recipe was a small batch of chicken wings. This is all it took to convert me! Imagine the crispiest wings you could ever imagine, without the oily mess!

My air fryer has grown to be a staple in my kitchen and I legitimately use it every single day. Aside from wings, they’re great for reheating leftovers (the Blackened Tenders from Popeyes reheat beautifully), cooking burgers, making perfectly crispy bacon and tons more! According to the booklet that came with mine, you can even make a cake!

Get it on Amazon

Soda Stream

I use my Soda Stream every single day!

While marketed as an at-home soda machine, I actually use this almost exclusively for sparkling water.

This device makes it easy to control the amount of bubbles and you can even add your choice of your flavorings.

Soda Stream offer some sugar-free flavor concentrates (the Dr. Pepper alternative is quite yummy) and they’re so nice to have on hand.

Aside from the cost savings, it also means that I don’t have to carry or recycle a ton of plastic/glass from the grocery store.

Get it on Amazon

What are your favorite Keto gift ideas? Share them below!

This post contains affiliate links.

You can click the LINK to start creating your 8-week plan. Simply follow the plan to achieve a successful keto diet.

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from Your Keto Plan https://ift.tt/39ZkaWk

#keto diet food cook cooking

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thesaltyranger · 6 years

Text

The luxury of butter.

Try as I might, this is generally what I look like after two pints:

And yes. It is to the despair of my friends. So I’m going to ask you the extend me the kindness and patience to indulge my dramatic penchant for political rants for the remainder of this post.

It all starts with butter. More specifically, why I stopped eating butter: I’m pretty sure the price of a pack made me gasp out loud when I was shopping the other day.

So ok, it is true that we are going through a global milk shortage, and perhaps the gasp was unnecessary and it’s not surprising that dairy products have gone up in price… But I don’t think I’m the only one who has noticed something in the air when you go food shopping. Whether before yellow stickers and offers would have been a nice little bonus here and there, those are now parts of my budget - I don’t necessarily buy what I want but what is cheap, and I know many friends who are the same.

Treats have turned from a bi-weekly to a maybe a once a month thing. At a push. While before I’d be able to purchase groceries for two weeks with £25 that amount now just about covers a week, if I'm careful. I rarely buy fresh vegetables since frozen is so much cheaper. I stopped commuting by underground, taking the bus instead.

Since the 2008 crash the discourse we have been fed has been that we were over the hump and things were going to get better. In fact I still hear this reassuring comment today, that things are nearly back to normal. And yet that’s not what I have experienced in my day to day life.

When I first moved from Brazil one of the first things I noticed was that ‘luxury’ goods weren’t just abundantly available, they were also affordable, while I would class ‘basics’ like fruit and vegetables were pricey. Bear in mind, I’m using the term luxury here in a very loose manner, what I mean is, I wouldn't feel guilty asking my parents for a magazine or some Nutella. The frozen/convenience food aisle dazzled us, they weren’t things we were used to growing up, and they were nice in that indulgent sort of way. We didn't need it but it was nice to have. So when things came tumbling down in 2008 all we did was go back to how things were before.

Because this wasn’t a massive adjustment, I missed the steady pace at which things were going astray. It’s only in hindsight that I see this trend as I made my way through university. Skip to today, and they are even worse. Way worse. I still hear people who say things are getting better. The crisis has passed. We are over the recession. To those, I have some bleak news to break: things are not going back to how they were.

The insidious detail about our condition is what I think everyone ignores. We sit here waiting for a trigger, a sign, an indication. The catalyst that will show things are really terrible and it’s time to spring us all into action. It’s not coming, and things are already terrible. Everyone knows it but we just grew used to not acknowledging it.

Like butter, milk and yellow stickers, things are slowly getting pricier. Your landlord increases you rent price (again) and you have to move out. Your new place is a bit smaller, a bit further away from where you were before. Somehow you’re spending more on rent and utilities. You haven’t really seen your pay increase but your work hours are longer. And because they’re longer, you’re seeing your family and friends less. Heck, how are you even supposed to get out of London to see your family with trains costing what they cost? You start mending your coat or a pair of shoes because ‘you just love those items’ but truth is you just want to hang on to them for as a long as possible because the price of a having to buy a new pair of jeans makes you a little nervous. Charity shops are cool nowadays anyhow aren’t they? You wonder why your mum never taught you how to sew.

Slowly we grow used to low standards towards everything, first the big ones: transport, health, education, welfare, security. You start wearing extra jumpers instead of turning the heating on – but for sustainability reasons of course. It then permeates into your personal life: food, relationships, jobs. In fact the notion of job security isn’t something that you even try to take seriously anymore. You grow used to expecting the worse from everything. At one point you might have gotten angry at the government, but its incompetence can no longer shock you. You might just about muster a sarcastic laugh. You have bigger worries. Making it half-way through the month within your pay check is a cause for celebration, making it to the end of the month within your pay check is a miracle. You try to not thing about the fact that you have no savings, we are probably not going to see our retirement anyway.

There are two things that are getting better though. The police starts wearing actual helmets and instead of batons they’re carrying tasers. They no longer smile, they scan the crowd with distrust in their eyes. You see they have more vans and cameras and dogs when unhappy crowds gather but news of terrorist attacks are becoming a monthly occurrence. You lost track of how many minute of silences you had at work. Or maybe you don’t even notice because the other thing that gets better is entertainment. Netflix will continue letting you binge through 12 episodes in one go, and why wouldn’t you? At least it’s cheap. The shows depict an extravagant, impossible lifestyle as if they were normal but you don't dare criticise or question them. It'd mean shutting the door towards the possibility of growing your own wealth.

You're not poor, you're a temporarily embarrassed millionaire.

The same messages of hard-work will echo year after year. We become a trivial culture, preoccupied with bubbly inecessesities that feed our ego and reduce us to passivity. Nuanced discourse is buried in either a sea of binary opinions or sheer irrelevance. I’m not knocking anyone, you’re tired. I’m tired. You deserve a rest, we all do.

Until we reach a point where you can’t even remember the person you were, who you wanted to become. Any dreams echo in the hollowness of our new reality: debt and poverty. Your emotions muted to the point you can’t even feel anger towards your situation. How can anyone when your self-worth is nonexistent? Love, hate, it doesn’t matter. You have more pressing worries, you need to keep your head above the water. Less people get married, less people have children, less people buy cars and houses. Basics milestones of life are no longer expected.

Next time you hear a rant think of this. What upsets and angers me is not the crippling poverty and debt we are being driven towards, is the fact that is being done so gradually and incrementally that we won’t notice a thing until it’s too late. There will be no decree banning books or films, only more articles blaming refugees, then immigrants then the poor, sick, disabled. There’ll be no need to conceal the truth from us because it has been staring us down all along. There won’t be a big brother nor a trigger. No brown shirts or echoing boots. Don’t expect bullets to warn you because the realisation will also only come crashing down as hindsight, when we look back at our lives and see it was an existence of barely making it through. And the reason we didn’t see it happen? Things were so good, all we could do was dream that one day they’d be so again.

#capitalism #2008 #labour #lenin

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Digital Magic And The Modern Mom

Mothers are special people.

Moms kiss scraped knees, edit term papers, cook meals, clean rooms and listen to Disney soundtracks on repeat for days, even months. Moms cheer us on from the sidelines and celebrate our birthdays by telling us how lucky she is to have brought us into the world.

That’s why Americans will collectively spend $23 billion this year buying tokens of appreciation for their mothers in the form of flowers, cards, candy and consumer electronics that they will give to them on Sunday, May 13: Mother’s Day.

Those gifts will be one of only two a year the average consumer will have to buy — Valentine’s Day is the other. Moms are unofficially and officially responsible for buying all other gifts given over the course of the year — birthdays, graduations, weddings, engagements and first communions. In fact, when it comes to shopping for others, moms wear the crown.

Mothers do most of the grocery shopping in the U.S., and over 80 percent of mothers report going to the grocery store more than once a week.

At 2–3 times a month, the mothers of the nation shop and complete orders for consumer goods (toys, clothing, tech devices) — more than any other demographic group on average.

About 20 percent of moms purchase consumer goods at least once a week — also more than any other demographic group. Additionally, they buy a lot of our clothes: Seventy-eight percent of all mothers report buying all or most of their children’s clothing, while 62 percent report buying all or most of their spouse’s clothing.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that if moms stopped shopping, the American economy would be in a world of hurt.

Seriously, if you haven’t already, go buy the mother in your life something nice. She’s keeping society afloat.

But however many karats one chooses to express their gratitude with this weekend, the merchants of the digital age are saying thank you their own way — by selling to mothers in a way that takes the time sting out of shopping.

In a world where everything can be automated, merchants are ready to help the moms of American feed, clothe and amuse their offspring without thinking about it too much.

Digital Dinners

Dinnertime for mothers everywhere is the most stressful two-hour block of the day, particularly if it follows 10 hours of work. Meal kits in general have marketed to that, highlighting that their ingredients are delivered, measured and can be neatly apportioned into a hot, fresh and wholesome homecooked meal, all in 30 minutes.

But mom (or dad) still has to cook that meal. And, as various reviews of various services indicate, pretty much universally that 30 minutes is something of a generous estimate of time that does not include distractions that may pop up while one is cooking for a family.

Meet Yumble — the dinner service for the mom who wants wholesome and healthy but would prefer not to have to cook it up herself. The firm was co-founded by HelloFresh Co-Founder Dan Treiman and Joanna and David Parker and bills itself as offering no-cook “Happy Meals made with Whole Foods.”

On offer: Smack and Cheese, whole grain noodles mixed with cheese and squash and then baked into a cupcake shape and eaten either cold or reheated. They also offer Chicken Parm Pops — a baked chicken tender served on a lollipop stick that comes with a variety of dipping sauces.

The boxes also come loaded with snacks like Protein Poppers, which are made with sunflower butter, oats, chocolate chips and honey. Yumble is subscription-based and charges $7.99 per meal for six meals a week, $7.49 per meal for 12 meals a week and $6.99 per meal for 24 meals per week.

“From a customer standpoint, we’ve spent a lot of time and effort to make this fun and something kids really engage with,” David Parker noted in an interview with TechCrunch. “I think our brand is very kid-first and fun.”

Clothing on Autopilot

Moms buy the vast majority of children’s clothing in the U.S., and as anyone who has ever gone shopping with a young child can attest, it’s not the most Instagrammable part of parenthood.

But these days, there are an awful lot of services — big and small — hoping to create a world where no mother ever has to full-body tackle a child into a fitting room again.

“Every season, my kids had outgrown the previous season’s clothes, and I was replacing complete wardrobes. It was time-consuming and expensive and, frankly, not much fun,” Rockets of Awesome Founder and CEO Rachel Blumenthal noted in an interview.

Rockets of Awesome is the best-established brand in the kids clothing subscription box startup scene — offering busy moms a delivery of 12 curated pieces of clothing four times a year. Those items tend to range in price from $12–$38 a pop, which is slightly more than Old Navy and slightly less than Gap Kids, and parents can keep all or none of the items they receive. (There is a $20 charge per box, though that money is put toward whatever purchased items are selected.) Customers who keep all 12 items receive a 25 percent discount, and the curation is based on what items the user has chosen in the past — and what information is included in the profile set-up and sign-on.

That user data also goes into the design of the clothing, as Rockets of Awesome, unlike others in the clothing box game, sells its own in-house brand of clothes instead of aggregating from other brands.

Kidbox — it’s largest competitor, which just took in $15 million in new funding — on the other hand, offers its curated boxes of children’s clothes based on a wide range of brands. At launch, Kidbox carried around 30 kid’s brands. It’s since grown its assortment to more than 100 brands for kids ages newborn through 14.

The process is similar to Rockets of Awesome. After a profile is created, the system curates a box of 12 pieces shipped out to the customer four times a year. From there, the system sorts algorithmically to see what it should send in the future based on what the customer has chosen in the past. It’s a bit less expensive than Rockets of Awesome — boxes clock in at around $100 a piece — and it comes with other personalized touches to make it more kid-friendly, like small toys, pencil cases, crayons and colorable boxes.

Because, for moms, it isn’t just about feeding and clothing one’s offspring.

It’s about entertaining them too.

Alexa and Amazon: Mom’s New Little Helper

That Amazon has spent a lot of time, treasure and thought marketing its services to the moms of the world is not controversial or even interesting. From the auto-restocking in Prime Pantry to the recipes (and ingredients) waiting on the front page of the Amazon Family portal to the fact that Alexa can now read a bedtime story to any child that asks for one, team Amazon is clearly trying to be the best friend to every mom.

Spring 2018 has seen the company renew those efforts — in both old- and new-school ways.

In the old-school edition, Amazon now has a kid-focused subscription box all its own; and for its maiden voyage, they’re back to selling books. Through the program, customers will be able to purchase age-appropriate boxes of books curated by Amazon’s team of editors.

“These books include classics that have stood the test of time, as well as hidden gems that our editors couldn’t put down — stories that your reader can enjoy again and again,” Amazon wrote on its website. “We will also use your recent purchase history to avoid including a book you have already purchased on Amazon.com.”

Customers will be able to subscribe to books at one, two or three months at a time. And each box of books will come at a cost of $22.99 — a savings of about 35 percent over the list price of the books, Amazon said.

While Amazon offering curated book selections for kids may seem like a small offering — considering the dazzling range of activity and toy-based subscription boxes for kids already out there — we would note it is always worth watching where Amazon is going.

They do like to start with books, after all.

With enough interest and enough data on what kids like to read about? We suspect that, with time, they could probably crank out a highly curated series of activity boxes focused around children and their specific interests.

If one is worried that living in a world where everything can be ordered at the tap of a button — or by ordering Alexa to do it — might lead to a generation of spoiled children who don’t understand that they should be grateful for growing up in the future…

Good news. There’s an Alexa app for that too.

Parents, according to reports, were becoming concerned the virtual assistant was perhaps not the best formative experience for children, who tend to like interacting with Amazon’s devices, to be continually barking orders to get things they want.

So, Alexa has now become a gentle enforcer of etiquette.

Very gentle.

She will not refuse service or ask for the magic word if asked directly by a child to do something. She will stoically comply. But, if asked nicely, if the child throws a please into the request, Alexa is now wired to positively reenforce the behavior by thanking the child for saying please.

It has never been easy to be someone’s mother, and probably never will be. No matter how far technology advances, motherhood will probably always mean being thrown-up on periodically — both metaphorically and literally. But in the digital age, there’s now technology — and very advanced artificial intelligence — dedicated to the problems of feeding, clothing, amusing and civilizing one’s children, a thing that has been true at no other era of history.

There is something to be said for progress.

Now, if we could only get robots sufficiently advanced to load and unload a dishwasher…

Truth be told, we can live without that robot, but it would be nice. But where, oh where would we be without our moms?

Happy Mother’s Day!

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