#I mean I am disabled and I am not conventionally attractive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wakeupthemembersofbylernation · 10 months

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It is not even that Mlvns are homophobic. I mean, many of the toxic ones are. We’ve all seen them and interacted with them and received hate anons from them. When Noah’s article officially confirming Will’s sexuality dropped during the summer, people were literally tweeting slurs and fantasizing about him being hate-crimed or dying from AIDS. (It’s probably unfair to group Mlvns in with these people, as lots of them weren’t even Mlvns, just bigoted GA members and trolls). But still. It was bleak. There’s a deep darkness within the ST fandom undeniably.

But I’m sure many Mlvns/Byler-antis are the types of people who genuinely have no problem with queer people in real life. When we call them out on their bigotry and homophobia, they get confused and say, “But I have gay friends! How am I homophobic for not liking Byler?” And they mean it 100%. They really do have gay friends. They probably consider themselves allies and yada yada.

The issue is that A) they are deeply heteronormative without realizing it, and B) they simply aren’t the target audience for the show, and as such, they don’t really understand or connect to the themes of the show. The thing is, lots of people, many Milkvans included, are simply normies. Now I love Steve as a character, so this is literally no hate to Steve, but lots of people are Steves. And people who are like Steve: popular, straight, attractive, used to dating the types of people they want, into ‘normal’ interests like sports (not that Steve is hyper into sports, but you know what I mean), likely to go down ‘normal’ paths and live fairly conventional lives like their parents, etc. are simply not the target audience for the show.

Obviously, the show centers on outcasts, nerds, queer characters, characters with disabilities, black characters, etc. Most people recognize this on some level, but they recognize it in more of a general sense like, “Of course the protagonists are nerds/outcasts, just like all the classic 80s teen protagonists. I just love how nostalgic ST is!” And they leave it at that. Because they are normies, they don’t really connect to the themes of the show other than a surface-level, power of friendship sense. They don’t see how Byler is more aligned with the show’s message than Milkvan at this point. They don’t see that the outcast status of most of the characters is more than just a throwaway personality trait… its deeply integral to the point of the show itself and closely connected to the supernatural storyline.

This is because nerd culture is somewhat mainstream now, and lots of “normies” like it too. Star Wars, Marvel, LOTR, Harry Potter, etc. These are all major parts of society and billion dollar franchises, even more so than they were in the 80s. Because of this, people don’t realize that in the context of the world of the show, they wouldn’t have been friends with the Party most likely. It is far more statistically likely that they would’ve rolled with Angela’s friend group or joined Jason’s human hunting squad. Or even if they weren’t outright bullies, it’s far more likely that they would’ve been one of the nameless background characters in Hawkins High, just kind of floating by in a conventionally comfortable existence, entirely oblivious to government lab conspiracies and alternate dimensions. The characters in ST are outcasts in a deeper, existential sense. Society is against them.

And so many people can’t relate, especially to the queer themes. They can’t even see the queer themes. Because the show is not for them. That’s why you see so many baffling takes on the show:

“Will is so whiny all the time, and I don’t like him!”

“Mike was right in the rain fight! S3 is about growing up, and Will was acting like a baby.”

“Tbh I don’t care that much about the Party dynamics. My favorite part of the show is Steve and Dustin being funny together. And my second favorite part is Hopper being a cool action hero.”

“B*lly is overhated! I mean, he’s so hot and misunderstood! He could’ve redeemed himself.”

“I don’t get Byler. It barely seems like Mike and Will are even friends.”

To be clear, it doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy the genre of the show. Being horror/sci-fi, its core fans are a smaller pool of people than, say, fans of The Office or Friends or other popular sitcoms. So the Mlvns who watched it since the beginning probably do have some avant-garde tastes in terms of genre-preferences, since lots of people wouldn’t touch horror with a ten-foot pole. But it does mean they don’t pick up on the themes of the show and the arc of the characters.

(Of course, many newer fans now are just watching it cause it’s popular, regardless of which genres they typically prefer. This opens the show up to lots of people who don’t connect to anything about the show, not just its themes but also its darker content. A lot of newer fans sound like this: “Like, I just love that Mike was in love with El from the day he found her in the woods, and it’s so cute that El is Mike’s superhero, and Eddie is so cool and badass; I wish he could’ve told Chrissy how he felt, and I’m anxiously awaiting S5 to see who Nancy chooses but I hope she chooses Steve… Stancy 4ever!” This is because Stancy is like every other conventionally attractive couple in media).

I’m rambling, but a lot of people are into Milkvan because of their expectations that “pretty boy and pretty girl go together,” and that’s all there is to it. Finn is attractive and Millie is attractive, and they play the protagonists, so of course Mike and El are endgame. Why wouldn’t they be? This is true for the girls who project themselves onto Millie and see Finn/Mike as a dream boyfriend, and it’s true for the guys who project themselves onto Finn and who would want nothing more than to have a cool, superpowered girlfriend.

This is the way of nature. In a normie worldview, there’s no deviation from this path. A lot of fans basically take The Kissing Booth/To All the Boys I Loved Before and slap a sci-fi/horror filter on it, and they think that’s what Stranger Things is. It’s a cool show where kids fight monsters, and there are normal, heterosexual romances like Mlvn to root for, and there’s a badass superhero main character at the center.

Oh, there’s a gay character too? Well, that’s weird. I mean, y’all already have Robin, but whatever. I’m not homophobic! I’m cool with Will being gay… as long as he stays over there. Oh, he’s in love with Mike? Well, that’s even weirder. Why would the writers do that? I suppose that’s fine, as long as it’s just a little crush, and as long as it doesn’t get in the way of “the main storyline” and my OTP. I’m not homophobic, I swear! I have gay friends!

And they do. And they might not actively be against LGBTQ+ people in real life. They may really be telling the truth. But because they are Steves, this is where heteronormativity comes into play and blinds them. Main couples in shows are always straight, so the cool sci-fi, monster show they love must also be. They’re fine with Kevin Kellers, but queer Mike doesn’t fit the box that they allot to gay characters. So Mike must be the straightest character of all time to fight back against “weird delusional Byler theories” that would “come out of nowhere.” It’s not that they’re actively anti-gay; it’s that they are profoundly closed-minded and have a very myopic view of sexuality/storytelling/their favorite characters/their favorite shows. This is very similar to the XO, Kitty situation and people who were upset that Kitty was ‘suddenly’ bi and had a crush on Yuri.

WHAT?! Where did this come from? I thought I was watching a normal rom-com! I was fine with the gay characters on it who were clearly televised from the beginning! But Kitty? No! Kitty’s my self-insert. How can she like girls too? It must be a phase and be “less real” than her male love interests. This isn’t Heartstopper. The same weird energy is present in the ST fandom.

Byler being semi-canon isn’t seen as confirmation of a love triangle; it’s seen as a disruption to the norm and the foregone conclusion that Mike and El will be together forever and get married and have telekinetic children because the show owes that to them for all they’ve been through. “But why is Will inserted into their scenes?” we ask them, begging them to see reason. “Idk, but he should know his place and stop being a homewrecker and go find a new boy to like. Just leave the soulmates alone. Mike has already made clear he’s straight and that Will is nothing more than a friend. He said it in the roller rink!” This is how heteronormativity works.

That’s why Byler endgame will be so important because it will shatter preconceived notions and open people’s eyes to the beautiful tapestry of humanity. And they will see that this powerful, queer, coming-of-age, love story was right there, under their noses, in their “fun sci-fi monster show” this whole time. *Mind Blown*

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #mike wheeler i know what you are #byler endgame #stranger things 5 #anti milkvan #ST fandom analysis

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henrysglock · 11 months

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I am ace but I can’t help but feel like certain people are fighting over dustin to be ace because he’s the least societally conventionally attractive one out of the main cast of kids/teens and doesn’t have a ship that’s a main cast member so it’s easy to just push that on him for ~rep. I mean why not push for mike being ace? or el? or nancy? or steve? or lucas? The only time I ever saw anyone else get this was when people were trying to deny that Will was gay so they tried to say maybe he just wasn’t interested in sex and romance etc. like head canon characters all you want but I’m finding this trying to force others to see dustin ace a little weird when he’s never been written that way and has not only been in a love triangle storyline but also had one of the longest and most stable romantic relationships on the show

Why not El, Lucas, Joyce, Hopper, Jonathan...and I still see ace Will headcanons, but I never see ace Robin headcanons 🤔🤨 Something about Dustin being disabled and not conventionally attractive...Something about gay men/male homosexuality constantly being portrayed as perverse in media...Something about purity culture, victim stereotyping, and oh no, the gay SA victim can't fuck, can't display or feel attraction, heaven forbid...

#asks #like...it's not as subtle as you'd think. it's actually pretty blatant.#it's only ever Will or Dustin...I wonder why...#idgaf if people have ace headcanons but i *do* ask that they examine their choice of character #because it's kind of telling. especially when both of these characters openly display attraction on multiple occasions.

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ankhisms · 9 months

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allow me to complain about theater things (not related to the strike im talking about local community theater)

so as i mentioned like a day ago i didnt get into the play that i auditioned for, i was a bit bummed out but its not the end of the world im pretty much over it despite what you may think when you read this im more than anything wanting to like write out my criticisms of the culture surrounding theater circles and specifically some hypocricy that ive been noticing within the theater that i am now a member of the company (which means i am an actor who was acted in that theater company)

the play that i auditioned for was intentionally written so that any actor could fit into any of the roles, and there specifically was a note by the playwright about the huge issues of racism, ableism, and homo/transphobia in theater spaces, and how the odds of getting good roles are stacked against you if youre not white, straight, cis, abled body and neurotypical and dont fit conventional bigoted beauty standards. the playwright specifically wrote this note to encourage directors and people producing the play who would be casting it that there was no reason why any of the roles couldnt be given to nonwhite, lgbt, neurodivergent and disabled actors and encouraging directors to not just cast very conventionally attractive able bodied cishet white actors.

obviously i am a white actor and i always am aware of that, i am also a disabled actor and am not conventionally attractive. my friend and former castmate who i did a lot of theater with when we were younger is a disabled indigenous mexican actor, she brought her cane with her to the audition. even without any positive bias i might have towards her since weve acted together for a while, i can say confidently shes an excellent actor. there was also a trans woman at the audition who i really hope i can do some performances with her in the future if she comes to more auditions because she was fantastic. none of us fit the bigoted beauty standards that are often prepetuated in not only hollywood but also smaller community theater like this.

now i dont want to dismiss any of the actors who got casted for their skills and their talent, im sure that they genuinely are good actors and that they will do a good job at their roles. but it has just occured to me how this is a pattern im noticing with almost all the community theater ive been involved in (except for my theater that i grew up acting in) where all of the people cast in main roles are almost always white, cis, able bodied, and fit conventionally attractive beauty standards. even in this play where the playwright SPECIFICALLY TRIED TO MAKE A POINT of telling directors and people casting hey, you should REALLY REALLY try to not just cast conventionally attractive cishet able bodied white actors, thats a problem we have in our artform. and the community theater ive acted in specifically is very much like. one that tries to be progressive and have left leaning ideas and presents itself this way, and i dont at all think that all of that is just posturing or totally fake. im just saying that i think these biases run very deep and that its just like... dude you still have been just continuing the problem with your casting choices even when youre aware of the problem.

anyway basically when i started really thinking about it i just

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pinkiewitchcraft · 11 months

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I despise the term “pretty people”. Because not only is it completely shallow, but it once again uplifts what has already been uplifted for years.

Thinness, youth, clear skin, white supremacist features, and the obsession with being perfect all the time.

It doesn’t matter what skin color or ethnic features you have, if you’re thin and young with clear skin, if you look like a stereotypical porcelain doll, you’re invited to the pretty people table. Because prettiness still means “fit this narrow definition, and you’re considered worthy of being acknowledged.”

Not once do you ever see beings with skin conditions (acne, dark spots, scars, eczema, etc), beings who have wrinkles, beings who are old, beings who are fat, beings who have flabby bodies, skinny-fat beings, beings with all kinds of disabilities besides skin conditions, beings who just don’t look like the stereotypical model, etc.

Not to mention the fact that, when a being is conventionally attractive, and therefore deemed pretty or beautiful, they get treated better than others, other beings obsess over them, and the halo effect comes into play. Because of course, beings still hold on to the belief that looks equal personality. That looks can be moral and immoral. It’s disgusting.

Because despite supposedly praising diversity and saying that everyone deserves equal treatment, in the back of many minds, they still treat those deemed beautiful much better than they treat anyone they see on the street. They are still extremely shallow, and a product of the society which brainwashes them to think a certain way.

Aka pretty privilege.

You see this when people say stuff like “I wish you clear skin”, whenever they want something good to happen to someone. And when someone’s being a horrible person, they go “I hope you get wrinkles”, or they say “you’ll be all old and wrinkly”, as if having acne, wrinkles and being old is a bad thing. Far from it. Those are lovely traits to have. I will gladly grow old, get wrinkles, and have grey/white hair, and acne spots on top of that.

Or they start bullying other features that someone has. Whether it’s having a neckbeard, having a receding hairline, being bald, having a lazy eye, etc. In the age of “diversity” many are still shallow and disgusting, and have learned absolutely nothing, and it shows.

And as someone who has never had any sort of pretty privilege, especially being a black being, I understand what it’s like to feel unseen, unheard, pushed aside, etc. i understand what it’s like to feel like a monster. To feel untouchable and gross.

I despise pretty privilege with a passion, and anyone who uses the “pretty people” tags, I am very cautious around.

And when someone reblogs my photos and puts a “pretty people” tag on me, it makes my heart sink because this is not the purpose of my blog. My purpose is to not be pretty and acceptable. Far from it. My purpose is to represent people who are like me. The weirdos, the “uglies”, the unappealing, the strange, etc. And my appearance will only get stranger.

I also make it my utmost duty to represent beings considered ugly, hideous, unattractive, unappealing in my art, my stories, etc, because they deserve to feel seen and heard. They deserve to know that somebody cares and is hearing them. They deserve to feel loved and appreciated.

Pretty people have been over represented for way too long, and I’m tired of it.

#pretty privilege #pretty people #criticism #shallow beauty standards #toxic beauty standards #beauty standards #bullying #body shaming

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clowngurlkhoinkers · 1 year

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i love women that are 3 feet taller than me

i love women that are 3 feet tall

i love women that are more muscular than me

i love women that are fatter than me

i love women that are skinnier than me

i love women that are curvier than me

i love women that are wider than they are tall

i love women that are considered scrawny

i love women that are considered conventionally attractive

i love women that have features deemed "ugly" or "unsightly" by society

i love women who wear lots of makeup

i love women who wear next to none or none at all

i love women who enjoy dressing up and getting all pretty

i love women who say "fuck it" and throw on whatever they grab first

i love spiritual women

i love skeptical women

i love bad bitches and absolute sweethearts and social butterflies and quiet reserved types and couch potatoes and fitness freaks and classy ladies and feral goblins and gentle dommy mommies and spoiled brats and mean girls and crazy women and and and and and and

i just fucking love women, no matter what they look like or how they present themselves or what they identify as

all women are beautiful because i say so and my opinion is fact because i am a certified women liker

yes this includes trans women

yes this includes women who have detransitioned from being trans men

yes this includes intersex women

yes this includes women with all kinds of disabilities

yes this includes sex workers

#womem <3

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spirit-of-helimire · 2 years

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🔥 writblr community

DAMN a big one I see that one is a lot.

Mostly it's accessibility reasons, small text and unreadable fonts. This coming from someone who is visually impaired and having to scroll through peoples writeblrs to see if I wanna follow them or not, and all their intro posts/wip intros/etc have a lot of small text, it really discourages me from wanting to follow them, no matter how much I might enjoy the content they're making.

Another thing that's an even bigger thing for me is. Objectively attractive characters. Ones that I look at and I'm like. This is just another skinny (probably white) young character. I don't care. I really don't care about conventionally attractive teens-young 20's character. I get YA seems to be All About That. But I really think people need to branch out and have characters that aren't conventionally attractive, who are older, fat, disabled, etc.

This also includes queer characters, put butches in your content, high femme gay men, genderfuck people, neo pronoun users, fat queers, disabled queers. Etc. You get what I mean. Make your most attractive character a fat butch or gay man. No more skinny trans characters.

And I'm not going to say it's all YA fiction, adult fiction is like this too, it's so hard to find fiction with older queers and fat people in general. I'm also coming at this from a white perspective because I am white, but like characters of color in any of these types as well would be just as important as well.

And I get it might be scary to do these things in the fear of getting them wrong, but if you're open to criticism, do it. Say fuck it, and do it, because if you fuck up and someone explains it to you and you do the research to do better, it's gonna make readers in those demographics so much happier and ready to engage in your work.

#i think i got it all out but idk #tweet tweet #brain go brrr brain loves to criticize

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the-sappho-of-lesbos · 2 years

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Do you look like any of the women in the historical lesbian and bi woman photos? I sometimes feel like I am ugly too and I am on certain peoples measures but I see myself in other women and go — oh shit actually it’s not that bad — she’s a lot like me and she’s attractive. And I see older women together and they love and are entranced by each other, despite being no beauty mag’s real ideal. Because that’s not the point. This works for discomfort about labia too or at other sexual worry. Women like you are out there, including disabled women and women with mental struggles. A lot of people don’t show that up front on dating apps … often times for fair reasons (don’t feel like it, don’t want to risk being targeted or taken advantage of) …so I wouldn’t assume they aren’t there. Still early stage of dating is not easy for someone with certain mental health issues, because of it requires a lot of failures and rejections and people getting to know you then leaving for any reason, and you never hear back. It is no wonder we find it off putting. If you need to wait you need to wait, and you will get there. 💜

I mean I don’t think I do aha. But I also know I can have a weird perception of myself. I just know I really hate how I look. But I have for most of my life to be honest lol.

And you are so right! Couples come in all appearances. I feel bad I think I’ve been phrasing this whole thing super super badly, so I’m sorry. It’s like I don’t need the woman I’m with to be “conventionally attractive” it’s more I just need to be attracted to her. Like I’ve found women that aren’t “conveniently attractive” to be SUPER hot. It’s not always a thing that can be explained. It’s just seeing someone and for whatever reason being like ooooh yes I really like that 👀👀

So I guess when I say stuff like my hubris is being ugly while being attracted to hot women is just my roundabout way of saying the women I find hot never seem to find me hot. Like I’m not their type or whatever. Or if I’m someone’s type shes not mine. And it’s not even for anything overt. It’s just you talk to people and don’t feel that pull. There isn’t that little click that just happens. And I know everyone is different but for me I can’t just like , be around someone and hope those feelings come about. I wouldn’t handle a casual hook up type relationship because that’s just not in my personality (not that there is anything wrong with that) and I can’t just date someone to not be lonely. I have to like her. I have to have those butterflies and happy feelings and that pull. And maybe I’m too picky and it’s entirely a fault that lies with me, wouldn’t be surprised honestly because most things are a me issue ahaha, but it’s still disheartening to feel like this is how things will be forever. Regardless of who’s fault it is or isn’t.

But you are absolutely right about why people might not put those things up there or just aren’t on dating apps in general. It’s hard out there for a lot of people.

Thank you so much for being so kind and taking the time to send this to me. It means a lot.

I hope you have a wonderful and beautiful day 😊💕💕

#asks #anon #answered

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moss-sprouted · 1 month

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its already gross enough to see comments of people asking why a conventionally attractive person would ever want to be with a disabled person and these people will say something like "well whats wrong with me then" and then people reply to those and say "well maybe its your personality" and obviously they are trying to diss on the asshole, but it starts to imply that someone cant be attracted to a disabled person and its only because of their personality

and sure i think personality and what a person is like matters more than what they look like, but i dont understand why being attracted to a disabled person is suddenly completely out the window to these people

and this is something i see as well when it comes to fat people, and i am fat so i can relate on that end but obviously it is different and the comments are different, but this idea that conventionally attractive abled bodied skinny people should only be attracted to and be with other conventionally attractive able bodied skinny people is so fucking weird, and honestly those extra add ons to conventionally attractive dont even matter cause thats what a lot of people mean when they say things like that and its so weird and so awful

#like theres one couple i see on instagram where the guy is quite small because of his disability and is wheelchair bound and is very #dependent on people but he has a conventionally attractive able bodied wife and #SO many of the comments on every post they have is people insisting shes a gold digger or something stupid like that or that their #whole relationship is fake and its baffling to me that people cant wrap their heads around how attraction and relationships dont follow #this weird narrative that its only possible to be attracted to skinny pretty able bodied people or whatever #like your ideas of attraction are not the same as everyone elses by a long shot

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sagezworld · 3 months

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This is not a new idea but I wanna give my take on it. I really would rather be cringe than mean. It is so easy to be mean, a sharp dig here, a snide remark there. But being nice and lumped in with cringe is hard. But I’ll be damned if I ever am caught hurting someone. If I’m cringe for hanging out with my furry friend, my disabled friend, my non-conventionally attractive friend, then I’m cringe dammit.

#cringe #I’d rather be cringe than mean

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feminist-theory-blog · 1 year

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Blog Checkpoint #3

“How to liberate my true hope? Everything is against me. The first obstacle to my escape is this woman's body barring my way, a voluptuous body with closed eyes, voluntarily blind, stretched out full, ready to perish” (de Beauvoir, pg 15). This quote is from Simone de Beauvoir’s introduction in her book, made popular during the second wave of feminism. It touches upon how our bodies bar ourselves from achieving or feeling what we wish. In the second wave of feminism, women discussed what it truly meant to be a woman. Beauvoir outlines the entire biological process in her book, but she concludes by saying that woman is made and not born. Woman is womb. Woman is sex. She breaks down how women have been socialized, treated and respected in our culture as inferior simply because their bodies came first.

The video I am analyzing is from a french creator, Alice Cappelle. She is having a conversation about body image, gender, and more. The difference here is that most of the issues she touches on are centered on social media. When second wave feminists were discussing the body and the meaning behind it, they obviously did not have social media, which makes today’s discussions slightly different from those in the past. One factor remains the same though, the fact that images come first and inform our minds who we are talking to or interacting with. “However, one might say, in the position I adopt that if the body is not a thing, it is a situation: it is our grasp on the world and the outline for our projects” (de Beauvoir, pg 68).

Cappelle starts off her video by stating that she has observed a rise in social media of trending skinny body types and promotion of disordered eating. She references the recent Taylor Swift music video, Anti-Hero, that has been receiving controversy for a clip of her standing on a scale that reads ‘fat’. Swift has a history of eating disorders, and pressure from the media to remain a certain size. Cappelle explained that the clip was a way for her to show her struggle with body dysmorphia and self judgment. She then goes into the body positivity movement and outlines how the movement has been outshined by conventionally attractive, able bodied, white women who preach that it is easy to love your body if you just accept it. “They were saying things like ‘love yourself, you can breathe, you can walk’, but I can’t help but think about people who actually maybe struggle to breathe or can't walk, what would they think” (Cappelle, 2023)? She questions the self awareness of women in these spaces, who perhaps cannot comprehend that the movement was not designed for them, and then acknowledges her own white, conventionally attractive body as well. She explains her history with eating disorders, stating that she had everything, a thigh gap, athletic body type, etc, but she was still made to feel like it was not enough through the consumption of social media in the past.

Cappelle wishes to outline how to get over this social media based insecurity, or how to let go of the value it holds altogether. In my opinion, it is incredibly valid for skinny women to deal with their body image issues and find comfort in their skin. But while they have their own image issues, at the end of the day they are still the standard for the ideal desirable body type. Disabled women, women of color, overweight women, trans women and more all live with bodies that are prioritized over themselves. This has almost taken the body positivity movement out of their hands, almost making it unattainable. My other issue with the body positivity movement is that it puts women in the position to look inward as to why they are treated certain ways as opposed to looking outward. Finding clarity and peace with your body is incredibly important for mental health, wellness, and confidence, but after that is accomplished, there is still a society and culture out there who will treat you differently because of how you look. Women are more confident, thanks to this movement, but to achieve this they are told, through social media, to disregard social media and its standards. They are taught to consider how certain media makes them feel about themselves, not why the harmful media was posted in the first place. I think the body positivity movement had/has a lot of potential to be a great uniter for anti-sexist, anti-racist movements, but at the time it seems to have a very surface level approach to these issues. Body politics and desirability politics exist in many radical movements, and while it isn’t a bad thing that this body positivity movement is built on confidence, it can keep people from acknowledging the real reason these issues exist in the first place.

“He grasps his body as a direct and normal link with the world that he believes he apprehends in all objectivity, whereas he considers woman’s body an obstacle, a prison, burdened by everything that particularizes it” (de Beauvoir, pg. 25). Cappelle rounds out the video by discussing gender and gender roles. She is a member of online communities such as Discord where she has seen a trend of people starting to explore gender and desirability politics through body positivity. She states that gender is fun and that gender expression can be a fun way to reject the patriarchy and beauty standards. I agree with her that this movement is healthy for young girls who are existing in a more accepting time than any of the young girls before them. They are being raised to be self confident over self hating, and to value themselves over other opinions. I think if this was the social media I was exposed to at a young age, I could have developed a healthy relationship with my body earlier in life. The whitewashed version of body positivity is flawed, but there are some amazing factors that could be developed through time.

video analyzed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31WJ0uzz8SI

#feminist theory #feminist analysis #feminism #body positivity movement #The Bodyweight of the World

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troglobite · 1 year

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lol love deciding to watch a ~body positivity~ video from someone who i generally think is p decent abt that stuff

only to see her p much just feature videos from thin ppl who are pretending they have any right to claim being "fat" or facing discrimination for it

clear warning for discussion of lousy ~body positivity~ garbage and actual fatphobia ableism racism etc.

bro like what the fuck. lol there wasn't a single disabled or ACTUALLY FAT person featured in the video

and then all of the comments are like

omg i'm crying this is so helpful and wonderful and made me feel so much better abt myself!

meanwhile, even though the creator herself is SEA and has body hair, there was also like no fucking body hair on these people INCLUDING IN THE VIDEOS THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT BODY HAIR POSITIVITY

AND NO DARK SKINNED PEOPLE THAT I SAW. AT ALL. meanwhile [gestures at skin bleaching industry]

like are you fucking kidding me??? you claim to want to make people feel better, but by acting as though these CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE are in any way NOT conventionally attractive, or bucking norms, or helping ppl feel better abt themselves--

YOU ARE MAKING THE REST OF US FEEL WORSE

"jesus fucking christ, if THAT person feels fat then WHAT AM I????"

i'm so tired of this shit and this is why body positivity is fucking garbage. lol the ppl who cling to it are the ones who almost fit the norm but not quite and so want to claim those differences as beautiful

but super fats? big n talls? chonkies? extremely short? very hairy? dark skinned? DISABLED????

nope. nowhere to be seen.

not even REASONABLY FAT PEOPLE were featured.

ONE was. and it was a belly joke where their face wasn't present and she likened it to period bloat

I'M SO TIRED OF STRAIGHT SIZED AND THIN PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT BODY POSITIVITY

acting like it's all that matters, as if fatphobia doesn't actively kill people through a million different ways (dangerous medical procedures, denying health care and pretending losing weight is a cure all, advising dangerous weight loss and eating disorders, acting as though fat causes health problems when there's zero proof that it does, subjecting us fat people to extreme bigotry and stigma and elevating our stress, limiting our access to food jobs and other security)

like people KILL THEMSELVES in pursuit of thinness. not joy, not feeling good, not friendship or family or relationships, not work, not meaning, not ANYTHING that is materially fulfilling--JUST TO BE THIN. TO BE THIN. TO HAVE LESS OF THEIR BODY TO LIVE IN. TO DIMINISH THEMSELVES.

and you're just like

~yaaaaasssss look at that belly jiggle~

and it's like. a straight sized belly. bc all bodies fucking jiggle.

"you don't have to be insecure abt jiggle or flab! EVERYONE has it!"

okay but did you grow up w kids telling you that you looked pregnant? mocking how you ran? acting like you shook the floor when you walked around? being overlooked by all your peers and never being asked out or considered appealing or cool?

maybe shut the fuck up.

i kept scrolling through the video HOPING that she would feature ANYONE who was fat or disabled and she didn't and it's so deeply disappointing. and the ppl FAWNING over her and the others in the video are so fucking frustrating.

the ONE good thing i saw was a video about big nose positivity--BUT EVEN THEN. THERE WERE NO BLACK NOSES. AND NOBODY IN THE VIDEO WAS FAT.

like the scrawniest whitest teen trans boy was like "belly rolls are normal!" bro you weight 70 pounds wet i dare say YOU are not the one to talk about BELLY ROLLS BEING NORMAL when you had to SHRIMP YOUR BACK to get ONE. and then being like "stretch marks and body hair are normal!" bro you're on t and your armpit hair was wispy and blond and i couldn't see any stretchmarks on your lily white skin. MAYBE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE THAT SHOULD BE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT THIS.

i understand the impulse to make people feel better about themselves

but y'know what would ACTUALLY help?

promoting FAT PEOPLE AND DISABLED PEOPLE

RADICAL FAT ACTIVISIM AND DISABILITY ACTIVISM

and i don't mean "commit your entire life to activism" i just mean TELL AS MANY PEOPLE ABOUT THESE POLITICAL POSITIONS AS POSSIBLE

BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING EXHAUSTING TO HAVE TO ~BODY POSITIVITY 101~ WITH ALL YOU FUCKING NUMBSKULLS

and then you all secretly hate fat and disabled people anyway so like we know WHY that shit happens lol we know WHY you can't bear to actually feature fat bodies or bodies that ACTUALLY challenge norms. y'all are fucking boring cowards and i'm tired.

like people like to watch almost-conventionally-attractive-people talk abt ~body positivity~ bc it's FEEL GOOD "politics" that require NOTHING from them. they don't have to change their outlooks or opinions or themselves or DO anything at all. they just get to go "haha YASSSSS totally!!!!" and then scroll on feeling good about themselves as though they've done an act of charity by not overtly hating someone who is 20% off of the conventionally attractive norm.

fucking killing me there was a teenage girl like "omg i struggle with such bad body issues"

sweetie you literally have the body type that is ~on trend~ right now, i can't think of a store that wouldn't have clothes that would fit you

that doesn't mean you can't experience body issues or insecurity (our capitalist advertisement-based society forces EVERYONE to have them! but therefore YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL FOR THAT, THOUGH, MIGHT I ADD)

but like babe. you knew your angles. you knew what works for your body in terms of clothing. you knew your lighting. i dare say you know that you can look cool and attractive. and also YOU ARE POSTING A VIDEO OF YOUR BODY ONLINE FOR CLOUT AND ATTENTION (which is fine in and of itself!) USING YOUR BODY TO GET THAT ATTENTION. YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE MOSTLY POSITIVE.

SO I DARE SAY THAT WHATEVER STRUGGLES YOU HAVE ARE NOT THE SAME AS THE MATERIAL SYSTEMIC ABUSE THAT DARK SKINNED, HAIRY, FAT, AND DISABLED PEOPLE EXPERIENCE

i expected better from this person and i shouldn't have bc she's all about ~positivity~ and i'm just Fucking Tired

empty platitudes from people who have probably never faced the same kind of discrimination as fat people (and i'm a "small" fat! i fit in most seats! people don't follow me in public! i have been harassed and bullied and struggle with clothing, but not to the same degree as others!) or any other kind of person who ACTUALLY needs RADICAL BODY AND FAT POLITICS AND ACTIVISM

those are MEANINGLESS. they're empty feel good "politics" that demand nothing of you and change nothing about you or the world. and i'm tired.

one conventionally attractive person with a "weird" nose gets to feel hotter than they already felt. what a win.

meanwhile fat people are being actively killed. disabled people are being actively killed. dark skinned people are being actively killed. and so on and so forth.

i'm not trying to be a downer "i'm better at politics than you"

this anger comes from me being a fat hairy disabled teenager and wanting to feel better about myself

and thin white conventionally attractive people saying like "haha it's fine if you jiggle!" and then me still being bullied for being "ugly" like y'know? it just doesn't change anything. it doesn't actually help anyone. and it makes people feel worse.

my friend who insisted i wasn't fat--WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING FOR ME? that's about YOUR insecurity and the fact that you think fat is so bad that you couldn't BEAR to apply that to a friend that you love! it has nothing to do with my material life experiences and conditions. it has nothing to do with anything.

or thin friends i had

"ugh i ate so much i feel so fat"

no you don't

you weight maybe 80 pounds and you're taller than me

you have never faced harassment about your weight and you probably never will at this rate considering the amount of sugar you eat and quickly metabolize

so SHUT THE FUCK UP

and also

if YOU'RE fat then WHAT THE FUCK AM I????

i'm so tired of people talking negatively about their bodies around me REGARDLESS of what they look like.

and i'm ALSO sick of people talking about parts of their body WHICH ARE NORMAL AND ACCEPTED as though they're ~transgressing~ somehow and then i'm just like. REALLY. REALLY??????? [gestures at myself] THEN WHAT AM I? A FUCKING ALIEN?????

i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i need to get up and get a snack bc i'm hungry and i listen to my body abt how and when i eat and that's all i care abt

and i need to let go of this

i just get so fucking angry abt this shit.

if you're not going to ACTUALLY HELP the people who ACTUALLY FUCKING NEED IT then keep your fucking mouth shut.

0 notes

sonichkkaaascreams · 3 years

Text

Mountain with a flower crown

As inspired by a post made by @bleachhaven I made a bleach OC. I am very proud of her. This post is her full bio as I laid the ground work of who she is and next post coming in sometime tomorrow or the day after will be a oneshot of this wonderful lady and her partner. Maybe even turn into something more.

The request and the head cannon it resulted were as followed:

Headcanon for Zaraki Kenpachi with a S/O that’s bigger than him (fluff and smut)

wordcount: 5816 ~

it’s a lpt so i hope you’re patient with me. i like going in depth with my OC’s but also this time i tried to keep her simple and leave some space for the oneshot to come. also i already apologize for any possible errors that i might have missed. my eyes are stinging at the time of posting this.

again special thanks to @bleachhaven and also a thank you to @shadowsnlace who also inspired me with their headcanons and i will be using tid bits from their combined effort (they worked seporatly.) in the oneshot of the same name as in the headline.

Verse: bleach manga – bleach anime property of Tite Kubo

Motto: Chop your own wood, it will warm you twice.

Name: Yasu (assertive child, ヤス) Yamase (Yama = mountain ,山 – se = back / spine / stature / ridge , 背 )

Reason or meaning of the name: she was a very large child since birth – and her last name was given because of her large stature that resembled a mountain in comparison to her peers and the fact that she carried the livelihood of an entire village on her back.

Nickname: 1. Ushi-oni (Ox/cow demon - 牛鬼)

2. Yama-0nna (mountain woman/ mountain lady)

Reason for nickname: 1. This nickname bears the weight of an insult and is what she is called by those who have crossed her path and met her as an enemy. They call her that to convey how beastly large and powerful she is and by the extent how unbothered by their attacks she was.

2. This endearing nickname is given to her by the new children of her village. They call her that because she is very large, like a mountain, and also because she has the word mountain in her last name.

Birth date: Oct 1st

Her birth: she was born on the first day of autumn, around 2 A.M (the hour is known as the ox hour) it was a quiet and peaceful night with the owls hooting as the only noise outside.

Place of birth: a small secluded beachside village named “Momo Niwa” (peach, garden/field - 桃,庭) located in district 35 of east Rukongai

Species: soul

Occupation: formerly the hunter, farmer gardener, shepherd, fisherwoman, and the primary breadwinner of her village

Later on: Shinigami (soul reaper)

Age: 556 years old

How old does the OC appear: mid to late twenties (maybe late twenties to early thirties if you account for some significant facial features)

Weight: 363.4 lbs = 164.83 kg

Height: 8’8 = 264.16 cm

Body build: she is 363.4 lbs of pure muscle accumulated by eating a bear (or 3 entier boars down to the bone) a day and shaped with everyday hard labor since she was old enough to have a grip on a tool. She is bulky and strong, able to wrestle with a grown male bear easily, carry multiple three trunks on her back, and if needed pull a tree out of the ground. She is perhaps the single largest soul living in soul society.

The shape of her face: her face is not very feminine, she has a sharp jawline and strong chin. High cheekbones and gentle brows. Her nose while proportionate has been broken twice. The skin of her face while still soft has been wiped with direct sunlight for long periods of time. Her lips are thick and plump with a downward curve that makes her seem constantly annoyed. A small horizontal scar on her right cheek from where she was attacked by an angry wild cat as an inexperienced hunter. A scar on her upper left forehead near her hairline from when she fell off a three as a child (there is a very small bald spot there due to the scar tissue) and a thick but short diagonal scar under the right corner of her lip leaving it slightly misshapen.

Eye color: light gray – almost white if looked at from afar.

Eyesight: exceptional

Skin tone: as a child, she had fine pale skin, but as the years went by and time spent on the field or the beach her skin changed, and now it’s rough, leathery, and tanned – however, some parts of her body that have never been under the direct sunlight are still moonlight pale.

Distinguishing marks: the scars on her face. Her physique. Scaring around her feet and hands due to hard labor and occasional fights.

Predominant features: the sheer size and height of this woman.

Hair color: a dark reddish-brown with a few gray streaks amidst them. The gray parts make her seem older than she is.

Hair type: wavy, wild, and unkempt. She rarely has enough time or patience to properly care for them.

Hairstyle: the majority of her hair is usually either in a high ponytail or a bun to keep out of her face with a simple old blue ribbon that’s almost ragged by this point due to extensive use. The gray streaks are kept in small braids decorated with beads, feathers, and animal teeth or bones. (insisted by her village elders as hair decoration speaks of position in her village)

Voice: surprisingly has a soft and gentle voice that seems unusual for her throat. Make no mistake she is not quiet nor meek. She has loud booming laughter that is guaranteed to shake the house and her voice can easily be heard over others in a loud crowded room. But her speech pattern is gentle, polite, soft-spoken, and calming. She speaks with a reassuring sense of confidence that will make everyone listen and heed her words.

Overall attractiveness: she is not considered conventionally beautiful nor attractive; especially by feminine standards. She is simply too large, too tall, and too muscular to be the image of the traditionally graceful innocent flower petal that women are perceived as. Instead, she is considered rather handsome. In a manly, reliable kind of way that makes a woman to be attracted to her more than men. As most men don’t like courting girls that tower over them both figuratively and literally.

Physical disabilities: due to her height and weight, her knees and ankles are prone to joint pain and are in need of getting an ointment and herbal massage every once in a while. She may be very strong but the same muscles that made her so, also take away from her speed and she usually is more of a slow and steady kind of worker than the speedy type. She also used to have a difficulty in controlling her strength and had very loud and heavy steps and as a hunter that was a disadvantage. She has long since corrected her steps and is now as quiet as a wild cat while hunting and is quite good with her hands now but she is still rather slow.

The usual fashion of dress: as a child, she would wear normal clothing but as she continued to grow at an abnormal rate her clothes began to consist of multiple Yukatas and Kimonos sewn poorly together to make one dress that is big enough for her to wear comfortable and decently.

Favorite outfit: an utilitarian Yukata that is made of multiple dark-colored and green-colored fabrics that she uses for hunting and a winter coat made of only white rabbit skin.

Jewelry or accessories: No earrings, necklaces, or rings only hair decorations made of seashells, feathers, carved bones, and teeth.

Personality: Hardworking, steel true, and blade straight, Yasu is the primary breadwinner of her small village and responsible for the care of many elders, pregnant women, and many children along with many injured and otherwise incapacitated souls. She not only hunts, fishes works on fields, collects herbs, fixe tools, and homes, and guards the village against potential harm, but also she teaches everything she was taught and learned herself to the next generation ensuring the survival of her small village. She is primarily a noncombatant as her imposing sight alone wards off any potential threats and due to her size and strength she rarely needs to exert herself and to this day she has not been physically challenged (not since the first time she wrestled a bear as a child, but then she was mostly unprepared than weaker. Ps. She cried when she accidentally killed it, stopped crying when she realized how tasty the bear is.).

Unless necessary she rather not partake in violence, as a hunter she was thought that a kill must be clear and clean sparing the pray from unneeded misery and pain. If forced, however she is not a pushover, and while still does not partake in needless violence will effectively and immediately remove the assailant from her and her associates' vicinity by picking them up and throwing them away over her head.

She grew up in a village that predominantly had many fragile and weak people and thus not only she gained mastery over her strength but also was raised with the duty of the caretaker. She may have been one of the younger children of her village at the time, but since she was the largest and strongest many of the manual labor was placed on her shoulders and so she grew to have a habit of being everyone’s mother, to care for their well-being, eating habits, if their sleeping well, fixing their clothes if it’s untidy and even bathing them. (She was strong enough to safely carry the pregnant women to the bath, wash them safely and carry them back with no problem, or help those that had injured arms or legs in bathing)

She is, as formerly mentioned, very soft-spoken and quiet and never feels the need to yell or raise her voice as her sight alone demands unwavering attention. She is well respected as the breadwinner of an entire village as is dutiful to be deserving of that respect. She rises early morning before the birds – the elders' joke that she wakes up the sun every morning ) and goes to bed later than everyone on the nights that she doesn’t stand guard all night (again the elders' joke that she either stays up to make sure all the stars are accounted for or that she keeps guard of the moon as well.)

She knows there’s a time and a place for everything, a time to be respectful, a time to be playful, and a time to be forceful. She put her duty as the caretaker above all else.

She hates it when people think she’s older than she is because of her hair and battered face.

She holds on to a very old superstition that drinking boar blood mixed with milk makes children grow to be strong, completely ignoring the parts that the superstition is about “sons” and not daughters and that she is not a “CHILD” anymore.

She may act humbly, but secretly she loves how large she is. The only time she ever hated her height is when she entered Shino Academy and all the doorframes were too short for her and her dorm room was ridiculously small for her built. And for that, she prefers to sleep on the rooftop.

She genuinely enjoys hard labor and will always offer to carry items for others and if she senses that someone is getting tired she will carry them on her shoulder With delight.

While she is a well-spoken person, if she meets someone she is annoyed with or particularly have done something to warrant her contempt towards them, she starts calling them a very specific insult she never normally uses and only reserves for those she dislikes. “Puny/tiny man” for the men and “ladybug” or “little caterpillar” for the woman. (Ex: *smiling politely* be careful little ladybug/puny man, it would be a shame if I accidentally stepped on you. – She has only ever used this insult twice to this day) and on the other hand, she particularly likes someone, she will make them flower crowns and jewelry made of bones and teeth of animals if they are girls (or they like jewelry) and make hand-carved hunting knives and fur coats for the men.

She prefers to bathe in a cold lake as oppose to use warm water or use an Onsen.

When she finally partakes in combat, she is without a doubt both an unmovable object and an unstoppable force. she prefers to detain her opponents with Kido or Hakudo and if forced break their bones with the hilt or the dull side of her sword and avoid having to cut them down. (She says: a blade is for slaying and not for playing.) if due to specific circumstances; she were to aim for her opponent's death, they will die as quickly and painlessly as possible within a day – if the numbers are high – she makes it seem as if her opponents are mere animals that she needs to put out of misery as quickly as possible and not prolong their suffering. (on one specific occasion where she was disarmed, she held her opponent in a tight hug and crushed his entire spine and rib cage, killing him. – She was miserable and depressed for days afterward, and proceeded to dig an honorable grave for the man.)

Moral: she is dutiful and puts it above all else. When she mush kills, she will make it as fast and painless as possible. And only when it’s necessary. She rarely becomes physical with anyone. she believes she’s stronger than anyone she knows and doesn’t see the need to assert herself in such away.

Self-control: fairly high. She is a very disciplined individual both physically and mentally.

Motivation: the satisfaction of achievement through hard work. By the sweat of her brow and the strength of her mountain-like back.

Discouragement: realizing her size may prevent her from perfecting an action. Or realizing she may have to resort to violence.

Intelligence level: she may not be the most intelligent, but she is wise for her age and has great life experience. Her intuition and deduction skills have saved her from many sticky situations.

Confidence level: she is not arrogant or boastful but she is without a doubt very confident and assured of her capabilities. Of her strength, skills, and intuition. As well as the leadership skills that she acquired through the years.

Mood the OC is in most often: peaceful and relaxed yet focused on the task at hand.

Sense of humor: she has heard every tall joke and buff girl joke there is and is bored of hearing them but she will use at least 1 a day. Lesbian and butch jokes annoy her. She has heard every crude joke an individual can think of. Personally, associates with dark humor. Will hopelessly laugh at shitty puns.

The greatest joy in life: once in her life she had nothing to do so she sat by the beach and laid on the sand listening to the sound of the waves and allowed the children to braid her hair with flowers and colorful ribbons, and that is the greatest feeling she ever had.

Greatest fear – why: to grow old and die in the same village she was born into without ever leaving it. While she is grateful to the people who raised her she doesn’t want her life to have begun and ended in a secluded village by the beach without ever having seen much beyond the woods and the shore.

What would throw the OC’s life in turmoil: the times where she had to kill, especially if the death was A) unintentional due to her uncontrolled strength as a youth and B) done with inappropriate weaponry that caused a slow death and prolonged suffering.

Most at ease when: surrounded by children or people that are younger than her. When surrounded by loved ones. When hearing the sound of running water that reminds her of the shore she grew up in.

Enraged when: insulted, annoyed for too long regarding petty things, teased for her graying hair or size for too long, if someone decides to attack someone smaller and weaker

Trauma: this goes back to when she was a very young child. At the tender age of seven, when she was all but a doe-eyed child, she would eat as much as 3 times a grown man – by that time she was about as tall as a teen – so it’s understandable that on a specially cold winter the village became short on rations. Instead of telling the child to eat less, the villagers lessened their rations for the children and Yasu. For that reason that winter 5 of the older and weaker villagers passed away. Yasu was not told this until she was a good 200 years old, and when she realized this is the reason why her “Yuudai sofu” (grandfather Yuudai) passed away. she was traumatized to a point of losing her appetite and starving herself for the next two years that she grieved. then she returned, vowed she would repay her family every grain of rice a thousand fold and every drop of milk ten thousand.

Prejudice: a general disdain for those who are physically capable but refuse to “cut their own wood” or “pull their weight”. She came from a village where it was an unspoken rule that the youth – and generally those who are capable – must look after those who cannot do so/ the old. and also a disdain for those who take the hard work of others for granted.

Favorite activity – hobby: when she doesn’t have anything particular to do she likes to sit down under a tree and either carve wood and bones into hunting knives or make flower crowns.

How does the OC feel about herself: she is comfortable in her own skin. Never really thinks about her appearance nor does she compare herself to others. She is content with who she is and the work she does.

One word to describe herself: reliable

One paragraph of how would she describe herself: “I think I’m reliable. I would like to think that I am. It’s my duty as the capable one to look after the others. I do enjoy working, I never seem to be able to sit down idly. Makes me fidgety. (Chuckles.) By the way, you seem tired! Need me to carry you? (Bends down) come now don’t be shy the weather is nice up here!” (Points at her shoulders making a tall joke)

Her best and worst personality trait is based on herself: “Oooooh, I’m not sure. I think my best trait is that, well, I’m reliable. And very sturdy. (Laughs.) my worst trait? I don’t know. I work too hard? Don’t take as many breaks as I should? I feel like I’m bragging.”

Her best and the worst physical trait is based on herself: “Hmmm. I never thought about that. I guess I do like that I’m tall and strong. I can take care of everyone like that. Reach the high shelves for them and pick them up when they're tired. I guess I don’t like my graying streaks? Makes people think I’m older than I actually am. “

How others perceive her: Villiger child said. ”Yama-Onna- san is the best! She picks us up and swings us around and around until we get dizzy and then she brings us fresh peaches every afternoon. She saved Aki-chan from a mean boar once. We love Yama-Onna- san sooo very much.”

Villager woman: “Aah, yes. I do know Yasu- chan. She is wonderful. A dutiful, wonderful, kind person. I remember when I was with child and couldn’t walk. She would always pick me up so gently and take me to bathe and take very good care of me. Not to mention she'd always make special rabbit soup for me to make sure I was well fed. She fixed my room when it was broken too. Such a handy girl she is. If only she were a man, I think I wouldn't mind a husband like her.” (she laughs as a man’s grumble comes from inside her home.)

The opinion of other people in general: “seeing her for the first time she may look frightening and imposing but in truth, she has the gentle heart of a bunny. Give her a chance to show you who she is rather than what she looks like. She may look like an imposing beast; but she’s about as harmless as a sweet little chipmunk. “

Does she hide her (true) opinion on other people: not particularly. Even when speaking the truth she will make sure to phrase it politely and gently.

The person she hates the most: lazy people in general – or that least lazy people who are ungrateful

Best friends: Hinamori Momo, Kotetsu Isane, Ise Nanao

Persons she avoids: Kurotsuchi Mayuri, Soi Feng

Person, she feels awkward with: Hitsugaya Toshiro (so small), Hirako Shinji (that weird smile), Soi Feng (so loud for someone so small)

The person she openly or secretly admires: Zaraki Kenpachi (he is up to my chest, very tall), Ise Nanao, Kuchiki Rukia

How she thinks others perceive her: Ushi-oni, imposing and scary (which makes her a bit sad)

One thing she would change about herself: the gray hair, maybe make herself a little shorter – just a little – enough that her head wouldn’t hit the door frames all the time.

Her main logic of the world: Chop your own wood, it will warm you twice.

You can either dream or work to achieve that dream.

You won't always be motivated, you must learn to be disciplined.

By the sweat of your brow and the strength of your back, and the blood in your veins. Anything can be achieved.

When there’s a will there’s a way.

Depressed or sad when: she does something she deems cruel. doesn’t have anything to do. Her friend is in the middle of something she can’t help them with. When away from Kenpachi for too long. Sometimes she misses her mothers, father figures and her village.

Priorities: duty first. And not just work duty. Her duty to herself. Her duty to her romantic partner/ spouse. Her duty to her friend. Her duty to nature, her duty to her conscious. Her duty to her mothers.

Life philosophy: hard work pays off. Always. Not always in the ways, we want or we think we want. But always pays off in some way.

Soft spot – is it obvious or not: she has a giant soft spot for children and people who are physically very small even by normal standards. (namely, Hinamori Momo. Hitsugaya Toshiro, Kuchiki Rukia) – it couldn’t be any more obvious – she makes them flower crowns every day without fail)

Greatest strength: other than her bulging biceps? Her great leadership skills and hard-working nature.

Vulnerability or weakness: deep down she does feel weird and vulnerable about her size, after all, she is still a girl, and about the time she was 150 or so she was deeply sensitive when a guy would call her Ushi-Oni. Just because she was taller than everyone else. Although now she knows logically she shouldn't feel bad about herself and her appearance there are still times she feels embarrassed when she knows she can’t wear a beautiful Kimono because A) they don’t have it in her size and B) she realizes it wouldn’t be good on her as it would on someone like Ise Nanao or Kuchiki Rukia

Biggest regret: accidentally killing that bear, not realizing her eating habits were putting a strain on the village sooner

Minor regret: not learning feminine skills (sewing, tea etiquette, etc.)

Biggest accomplishment: becoming a Shinigami

Other accomplishments: mastering the sword, archery, trapping, fishing, tracking, and finding her way based on stars – making a full garden of peaches from only 3 peaches she bought – building a small fishing boat (albeit a flimsy one) – raising the number of the village livestock exponentially.

Past failures: she failed many times in almost everything she started. It’s not important how many times she failed in what, what’s important is that she is now more skilled than the average souls and Shinigami.

Embarrassing moments: her first 3 weeks at Shino Academy they didn't have a uniform her size so until they make one her size she was heavily underdressed. (the pants were only to her knees and the upper half was more like a tight short-sleeved vest. She preferred to wear her usual clothes but wasn’t allowed to. The moment Captain Hitsugaya who had come to the Academy on work-related matters saw her state of indecency he threw a fit and demanded appropriate clothing for a lady. – Yasu wanted to die at that moment.)

Darkest secret: she secretly, very deep down, is annoyed that no one else is half as strong as she is. And wishes there was someone she could find that she didn’t have to hold back for.) (*wink wink* foreshadowing *wink wink*)

Skills: life skills: 1. wielding a club

2. archery

3. trapping

4. pathfinding using stars

5. fishing

6. trapping and hunting and skinning animals

7. wood carving, bone carving, and tool building in general

8. cooking

9. farming, gardening

Incompetence: 1. Sewing

2. tea brewing

3. anything to do with speed or agility

4. patience in anything other than hunting

5. strategizing in anything other than hunting

Strength – talent – powers: Shinigami based: 1. professional Zanjutsu

2. advanced levels of Kido

3. unrivaled Hakudo

4. passable Hoho

Habits: 1. she stubbornly sticks to the superstition of drinking mill mixed with boar blood is good for health and strength. (even though the superstition says it’s good for little boys to grow strong and healthy and she is neither a boy nor a child.)

2. She prefers to take cold bathes even in midwinter.

3. Sleeping outside – unless provided with a big enough room.

4. Braiding her hair and making flower crowns when she is bored or nervous.

The organization involved: Gotei 13, Squad 10. (as the third seat officer)

Income: standard seated officer Shinigami income + overtime

Job satisfaction: doing all the paperwork as fast as possible (even those that aren’t hers… LOOKING AT YOU MATSUMOTO RANGIKU)

Health: as is expected of someone her size she is very healthy seldom gets sick. Her knees and ankles need a herbal and ointment massage now and then due to the pressure of caring for her weight.

Childhood life: on a particularly warm summer evening a woman by the name of “Hatsume” comes across this small village begging for a small room so she can have her child in peace. The villagers of course all this and the woman spends the next two months peacefully waiting for her child. The villagers assumed she must have multiple sons as her belly was greatly swollen but by the time the child was born, it was revealed that “Hatsume” was right and she only had one child. One little girl.

Actually no, she had one big girl. A girl so big, that she broke her mother’s hips as she was coming out resulting in the death of her mother. Originally the midwife –“ Obba-chan Harumi” – deemed it a bad omen and wanted to drown the child but was convinced otherwise by the rest of the women. Thus the newborn was given to “Riko” another woman who had recently lost her weak child due to heatwave. She named the child “Yasu “ and accepted her as her own child and fed her until she no longer could.

Apparently “Yasu” was a very hungry child and drank her mother dry within a few months, and so she was given to another woman named “Natsuko” who also raised her as her own alongside her son named “Tadashi”. And so, until Yasu-chan was old enough to eat solid food she was cared for by the collective effort of 10 women. (Riko-san, Natsuko-san, Haruko-san, Kaede-san, Usagiko-san, Amaya- san, Yuria-san, Ikuko-san, Minako-san, Sakue-san) and as a child, she grew to eat 3 times a grown man and as an adult, she eats 9 times the average man as a moderate ratio (she can eat more)

Best memories: 1. sitting by the ocean with her 10 mothers and their other children making flower crowns and listening to the sound of waves.

2. Learning how to carve knives and sitting next to her “Yuudai-gi” and making hunting knives.

Worst memories: 1. sitting at the grave of “Yuudai-gi” now knowing why he died

2. Barring her mother “Kaede-san” after she fell ill

Alignment: bounces between lawful chaotic and chaotic lawful – sometimes lawful neutral

Short-term goal: accomplish daily duties to the best of her abilities.

Long term goal: live her life to the fullest and learn to relax and have fun without worrying

The most defining moment in her life: deciding she’s prepared the kids of her village enough and leaving them to become a Shinigami.

Type of childhood: certainly eventful, but all in all nurturing

First memory: her first and oldest childhood memory is being surrounded by many women cooing at her (her motherers) and one in particular saying something about giving her boar blood with milk.

Most important childhood memory: her first successful hunt, an old limping stag.

Childhood hero: Yuudai-gi

Education: thought by the rest of the villagers. Mostly focused on practical information – learned how to write and read when she had nothing better to do by her mothers.

Family: mothers: Riko-san, Natsuko-san, Haruko-san, Kaede-san, Usagiko-san, Amaya- san, Yuria-san, Ikuko-san, Minako-san, Sakue-san

Father figure: Yuudai-gi, Kaoru-gi, Manzo-san, Ikemoto-san, Gihei-gi, Sotaro-san

Siblings: Tadashi-kun, Ekiken-kun, Toyozo-kun, kenji-kun, Hachigoro-kun, shigeru-kun, Akeno-chan, Euki-chan ,Mizuki-chan, Mami-chan, Romi-chan, Shizue-chan, Chieko-chan, Asaji-chan, Ochiyo- chan

+the rest of the village.

Relationship with parents: she was well-loved by all of her mothers.

Relationship with siblings: there were arguments as children and there were teasings as children but the older they got the better their relationship became and with her size she became everyone's protector and the helping hand of her mothers.

Spouse – lover – the person of interest: Zaraki Kenpachi, the second Kenpachi and the 11th captain of squad 11 of Gotei 13.

Children: none

Relationship with children: very well.

Other important family members: (her father may or may not have been a member of a branch family sworn to the Kuchiki clan but Hatsume never confirmed anything and died before revealing anything about the father of the child.) later on Yasu says she has no interest of ever finding her father since she already has 6 father figures and an entire village as family.

Favorites

-color: light ocean blue

-music: the sound of waves – the sound of branches moving in the wind – the sound of owls Hooting at night.

-food: Bear, boar, shrimps

-literature: she doesn't read much. The Academy textbooks are the closest she got to literature. That being said the book of Seireite Laws is her somewhat favorite.

-form of entertainment: making flower crowns, carving knives, going to the woods to watch the wildlife as they are, watch Kenpachi fight, watch captain Hitsugaya yell at Rangiku.

-expression: 1. You won't always be motivated, you must learn to be disciplined.

2. Chop your own wood, it will warm you twice.

-most prized possession: 1. her ragged old ribbon she uses to tie her hair up.

2. Her hair decorations.

3. The old hunting knife made of bear bone that once belonged to her Yuudai-gi

-weapon: old hunting knife that belonged to Yuudai-gi,

Her Zanpakuto (it’s her first and only appropriate and professionally made weapon)

-pastime: watching Kenpachi fight as she makes flower crowns or carves knives.

Poetry describing – quote describing: “she may not have been the innocent cherry blossom, nor the alluring lotus. She may not have been the moon goddess nor the lady sun. she may not have been the enchanting vixen nor the oblivious doe. She may not have been gentle river nor the cherishing wind. She may not have been a princess nor a noble jewel.

Instead, she was unconventionally alluring. She was the reliable oak and the sturdy pine tree. She is the north star guiding travelers home and the early morning twilight, the very beginning of a gentle, warm touch waking you up. She is the dangerously alluring owl and the coyote that mates for life. She is the iron shield you carry to war and the rock you lean on. She’s the hard-working peasant girl in the rice field and The silver O-Choko cup, the only thing the beggar refuses to sell.”

Playlist:

I have a dream – Abba

“I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels”

My same – Adele (Yasu and Kenpachi)

“I don't know who I'd be if I didn't know you

You're so provocative

I'm so conservative

You're so adventurous

I'm so very cautious

Combined you think we wouldn't and we do”

Into you – Ariana Grande

“So, baby, come light me up, and maybe I'll let you on it

A little bit dangerous, but, baby, that's how I want it

A little less conversation and a little more "touch my body"

'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you

Got everyone watchin' us, so, baby, let's keep it secret

A little bit scandalous, but, baby, don't let them see it

A little less conversation and a little more "touch my body"

'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you, oh yeah”

Are you ready – the Disturbed

“That's enough already now

You don't want to take it

All your reservations have been taken away

They've been taken away

So you think you're ready now

For the revolution

Yeah, they can't control you

Once you've broken away

You've got to get them out of your mind

When they stand before you they will find

A force they aren't ready for

***

Are you ready?

They aren't ready for you to be strong

Are you ready?

They aren't ready for you to prove them wrong

Are you ready?

They aren't ready for you to be turned into someone

Who cannot be preyed upon”

The greatest thing – Cher Lloyd, lady Gaga (Yasu and Kenpachi)

”I hope, that you can see,

you are the greatest thing to me.

And when, you' feeling like you're not enough.

I'll give you wings, i'll lift you up.

I hope, that you can see,

you are the greatest, greatest thing to me.”

Out of control – lady gaga (Yasu and Kenpachi)

“I need a love that's crazy don't you see?

***

“Give it up, Put it up, Not enough, Not enough, Not enough, I need it Out of control.

Give it up just let your body Out of control”

Rival – Ruelle

“The tide is high

It's sink or swim

My only rival is within

Giants calling round the bend

My only rival is within

I won't let my demons win

My only rival is within

I will fight through thick and thin

My only rival is within”

The one thing – Shakira (Yasu and Kenpachi)

“You are the one thing that I got right

It's a fickle world, yeah, it's a fickle world

You turn the darkness into sun light

I'm a lucky girl, yeah, I'm a lucky girl

And if I mess up everything someday

I would hide my head in shame

Cause you are the one thing that I got right”

aesthetic: (disclaimer: non of the photoes and art works used in the grid bellow are mine i acuired them from pinterest. i do not take credit for any of these pieces.)

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