#I love how it still makes sense no matter who’s saying it

[artist-issues]

every now and then I play with the exercise of "what if we're wrong" because sometimes I get bored and also as an actual exercise. I usually apply this to Christianity/religion, matters of the after life, or about other people.

So sometimes I poke at the big question, if Christianity isn't real, what does that mean? And I don't usually go the route of atheism or bad sci fi, just that the religion is proven to be fundamentally inaccurate to reality, so what does that mean?

Anyway it wasn't until I was reading a really good sci fi story, where this one dude explains to some aliens the concept of "Love your enemies, do good to those that hurt you" and of course the aliens are like what? (Because in the sci fi narrative the universe is functioning under a Dark Forest Theory) And the dude explains its from one of earth's greatest teachers. And the aliens are like, if the inhabitants of the universe could believe that, this universe would be a different place entirely.

And it was at that point where I realized bro... even if it's not accurate, practicing Christianity is still worth it, for a human being. Loving your enemies means loving them like humans. The Poor, the Meek, and those who mourn, those are promises and comforts that we shouldn't toss aside even if heaven isn't real.

I don't know, this is just a terribly simplistic because I'm not the best at putting my English thoughts into english out loud, but that crack gave me a touch of useful coping. I asked my dad, if aliens are proven to exist it doesn't automatically mean christians stop practicing and believing, right? And he said obviously not.

I don't know but have you ever engaged in such a question " what if we're wrong?" And if you ever have what answer had you arrived at?

EDIT: As @atwas-meme-ing correctly pointed out in the comments section of this post, who cares whether or not I’ve played this game: God answered the question through Paul in his letter to the Corinthians: “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” 1 Corinthians 5:19.

There’s no “good moral teaching” to be found in Christianity if Christ wasn’t God, or if God didn’t exist, or if eternity weren’t real. My rambling logic is below the cut.

I mean, I play that “game” all the time about other things, and sometimes I do it for work. I’ll take two established characters and a setting me and my friends have agreed on, and I’ll “run a scenario.”

But the thing is, once my brain picks out something that doesn’t make sense, or that wouldn’t be in-character for the characters to do, the whole scenario grinds to a halt and I have to start over. I can’t suspend my own disbelief once I notice that something doesn’t line up. Even if I really liked “where the scene was going” before I noticed that thing. Whatever I’m getting stuck on because of it’s out-of-character nature unravels the parts I like, too.

All that to say I can’t even run a scenario in my head where “what if all this isn’t true? What if it fundamentally doesn’t line up with reality?”

I can’t. Once or twice I have tried. But I hit snags immediately. I’ll go, “pretend all of this Christian religion really is just a centuries-old conspiracy humanity’s been patching up the holes in.”

But then that little simulation-checker in my brain goes, “then how do you explain people dying for it? That many martyrs aren’t likely to have allowed themselves to be tortured and murdered for something they knew was a conspiracy.”

And I go, “well, pretend they died because they didn’t know it was a conspiracy, they believed it.”

And the sim-checker goes, “but the original disciples of Jesus, ground-zero of the faith, were all martyred. Not just people who learned from them and came after them and could’ve been hoodwinked: the starting points, themselves. They would’ve had to know it was a conspiracy, if it was a conspiracy, and they still willingly died for it.”

Maybe I’ll pivot and go, “pretend there isn’t objective truth.”

And the sim-checker goes, “there isn’t truth…objectively?”

Maybe I’ll pivot again and try, “pretend that everyone really does just measure morality based on what they’re used to, what their individual society’s trained them to associate with pleasant feelings and reactions.”

And the sim-checker goes, “Okay, where did those societies get the training manual? Where did it come from? Why do so many different societies’ and people groups’ ‘association with pleasant feelings and reactions’ around the world have so many things in common?”

And the answers to all that leads me back to Christianity. Even if I go the longest way round I can think of.

And eventually I quit running those scenarios. Because guess what?

Where’d the ability to run scenarios come from?

How did I get that? How did you?

See, the thing is, we go, “what if all of this isn’t true?” But it’s right there in the question. “Where did you get that desire? The desire for “truth?”” Is it to keep yourself safe, like the natural animals have an instinct toward, or is it to keep yourself sane, because you need some sense in this life to make it through? Sure. Maybe. But why? What’s “sane?” What’s “safe?” Sanity presupposes order. Why do you, and all humans, naturally lean toward wanting things to be “the way they’re supposed to be?” Where’d that come from, that idea of “supposed to be?” And Safety presupposes good being found in avoiding pain and damage and fear. “Good?” Where’d you get that idea?”

The further you dig, even into your own psyche, the less you can run any scenario that has God absent entirely. And no wonder. He designed it.

One more thing.

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.” - C.S. Lewis

I used to lean into the idea you’re saying here. “Even if it’s not true, I’m going to live like it is and believe it just in case. Besides, it makes me better, and makes the world better.” That’s not belief at all. That’s ends-justify-the-means thinking. The teachings that Jesus gave which “make the world a better place” are utterly worthless if they’re coming out of the mouth of a liar. Because why should anyone believe Him? Why should anyone “turn the other cheek,” or “do unto others?” Because it makes us “better?” Who gets to define “better?”

The answer, of course, is Jesus does. The One who taught those sayings. But only if He’s God. Only if He was telling the truth. If He wasn’t God, what right has He, to tell us to give away our possessions to others and let them abuse us and give our lives up? If He was a liar, all of those “good teachings” would be tainted and untrustworthy. Besides, like I just said, they’re all only able to be called “good” teachings if you accept that there is one objective, universal “good.” And we’re right back to “where did Good come from?”

All roads lead back there, to Him. But we humans like to do this thing with God where we pretend there could be any reality outside of Him. It sort of makes sense, how we got that way. After all, when was the last time you noticed oxygen? How often during the day do you consciously inhale and exhale? As often as it happens automatically? How often during the day do you notice oxygen touching your skin or moving your hair or drying your eyeballs? As often as those things happen automatically? No. But it’s ever-present. Without it, you couldn’t live, let alone notice anything. But oxygen has always been around and everything in our lives interacts with or can only exist WITH it. God is much more than that, but that’s as close as I can get to communicating: He’s so good, and He’s so constantly there, everything, all the time, that it’s easy for us to take Him for granted, forget Him entirely, then use our two-pound brain matter to say, “He might not exist.” You might as well say, “imagine a world with no matter.” 🙄 “Ohhhh kay. Then it wouldn’t be a world.”

#This was fun to talk about though #because even when you’re trying to pick apart truth for “fun” you just get…a closer look at how true truth is. #analysis #christianity #apologetics #theology #faith #Jesus Christ #Bible #c.s. Lewis

[idleoblivion]

"How do I Look?" Ace Trappola x GN Reader

Synopsis: He doesn’t get why you’re so excited for this stupid dance, but he stops complaining once he sees you dressed up.

Word Count: ~1k

A/N: Fun fact I absolutely hated Ace when I started the game and now I'm ride or die for that stupid ginger I love him

Warnings: Ace is majorly in denial, you both tease each other

“Are you almost done?” He shouts into the air.

He’s seriously had enough of this. He’s sitting on the creaky old couch in the common room of Ramshackle, where he's been for 20 minutes waiting for you.

“You’re the one who wanted to wait for me so bad!” You yell back at him from upstairs.

“Whatever, just don’t complain about how late we are when you’re finished!”

What you said was true, technically. He had decided to wait for you to get ready while the rest of your friends went ahead of you. But that was just because he wanted to spend as little time as possible at that stupid dance, that was all. He messed with the collar of his dress shirt, not liking how stuffy his outfit made him feel.

What was the point of this? He knew he’d end up just standing off to the side, he wasn’t interested in dancing. If it was some casual after school thing maybe he would, but he hated having to dress fancy and look nice all for a dance that was too formal to let loose at. He had half a mind to convince Deuce to ditch it with him, but you were adamant about going. And then your enthusiasm rubbed off on Deuce, so his choices were to suck it up or spend the whole night alone. Which still wouldn’t have been awful, but he kept remembering that glum look on your face when he had started saying he didn’t want to go.

But it’s not like he cared about making you sad, it was just easier to give in than deal with you pouting about it. Yeah, that was it.

He pulls out his phone and checks the time again. It’s been 25 minutes now and he groans. He wasn’t in a rush to get there, but were you moving slow on purpose? It was just as boring hanging out on your couch by himself as it would’ve been at the dance. He’s about to yell at you again when he finally hears your bedroom door open, and your footsteps as you head towards the stairs.

“Finally, took you long enough.” He turns his head to look at you, and the follow up remark he had ready gets caught in his throat.

You look…nice. He tries to shut that thought down, but as he looks you up and down it only reinforces itself. You look really, really good.

You always do. It drives him crazy, annoys him even. He’s one of your best friends, so you let yourself be more casual around him. He’s seen you wake up after a sleepover with your hair an absolute disaster. He’s seen you sweaty and tired after convincing you and Deuce to play basketball with him. He’s seen you with bags under your eyes from studying for so long with him. No matter what you’re doing, you always look good.

But that’s just because you’re attractive! He can own up to that, he thinks, it’s pretty objective. He can say you’re attractive without it meaning anything. Surely almost everyone at this school thinks that, he can’t be the only one.

…Why did that thought upset him more? He didn’t like you, but it would make sense if other guys did. You’re more than good-looking, you were charming too. You’re funny and kind and smart and thoughtful, you really would be the perfect-

FRIEND. You’re the perfect friend, a great friend. An awesome friend who has his back, isn’t afraid to hold him accountable, can stand up to his teasing, gets along with his other friends, and always makes time for him. You’re a really, really good friend, and that’s it.

You stand at the bottom of the staircase, oblivious to the way you’ve made his mind start racing. You jokingly strike a pose and smile at him.

“How do I look?” you ask. As if you really need to. As if you weren’t giving him a crisis.

“...You’ve looked worse.” 

You roll your eyes and walk over to smack his arm lightly. “Thanks, jerk. Let’s get going now, the other guys are probably wondering where we are.” “And whose fault is that?”

“Shut up!”

You continue to argue lightheartedly as you walk out of your dorm, and all the way up to the main school building. He’s got another sarcastic remark locked and loaded when you put your arm around his and he freezes. You notice him tense up and laugh.

“Come on, take me in like a gentleman. Since you wanted to walk in alone with me so badly.” “Did not!” His face is red and muscles feel stiff, but he makes no move to stop you. You laugh at him again but before he can retort you’re dragging him in through the doorway.

“Maybe I’ll make you dance with me, too. Since you were so eager to get here.”

He wasn’t at all, but he doesn’t say that. He’s a little preoccupied with the weight of your arm around his still, and how every time he sees you out of the corner of his eye his heart skips a beat.

But of course, it doesn’t mean anything. Definitely not. Not at all.

“I’m serious. You’re dancing with me, since if you don’t you’ll just be a killjoy standing in the corner. Come on.” You declare with a teasing smile. You pull him by the arm into the middle of the room with you.

…You're going to be the death of him, he’s sure of it.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x gn reader #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst fluff #ace trappola #ace trapolla x reader #twst ace #ace trapolla x yuu

[jeankluv]

Birdie - Satoru Gojo | Chapter 11

words: 4,1k

summary: While everyone adored him, you stood apart in your feelings. It wouldn't be accurate to say you hated him, as " hate " was a strong word, rather, you harbored a profound dislike towards him. The problem was he knew that and his irritating presence seemed to persistently cling to you whenever he crossed your paths.

Now, you found yourself paired with him for your semester project, and the thought made you wish to hurl yourself out of the third-floor window. Three months of working alongside him loomed ahead. Adding to the discomfort, you were currently under the scrutiny of hundreds of eyes, each gaze feeling like a murder attempt. It seemed everyone coveted the opportunity to collaborate with Gojo Satoru, except for you.

ac: _3aem

tags: modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball, Gojo needs a hug

notes: I know I said I was not posting chapter till next week but I think we all need a bit of Gojo serotonin after jjk chapter 261.

materialist | previous chapter | next chapter

Birdie playlist | ao3 | Pinterest

You felt like your heart skipped a beat or maybe it was a few. Grabbing your drink you gave a big shot to it, wanting it to take away the fear and nervousness that was starting to grow within you. Fuck it. You shouldn’t have asked that question. You shouldn’t.

“Birdie…” Satoru spoke. 

It was true, while you were dealing with a crisis, Satoru was still there, with his gaze completely on you. Those blue eyes always seem to be looking at you and only you. Even when the room was full of people, those blue eyes were on you. 

“I need fresh air.” You stood up and felt how you almost fell due to the drinks.

“Careful.” Satoru grabbed your arm and held you steady. “I will go with you.” 

“Yeah sure…” You tried to smile. 

The entire way you walked out, Satoru didn't let go of your arm not for a single moment. He held you with the greatest gentleness in the world, afraid that you were going to break. When you went outside again, you once again felt the cold of the night hit your body and you shivered a little. 

You no longer cared about meeting Naoya, you were with Satoru and that gave you security, but you doubted that after how Yuki had left him he would still be around. 

You approached some stairs and sat on them, with Satoru standing in front of you. Your leg started to move up and down, nervously, still processing Satoru’s words. You could feel your head spinning a little bit with the simple thought of Satoru’s confession.

When you asked him that question, you expected him to drink not to receive an answer. How should you react to that? 

Satoru Gojo wanted to kiss, well, he would kiss you sober. It was the same right? 

Why were you so nervous?

You looked up, only to be met with Satoru’s gaze looking at you. Those eyes, that gaze. A gaze you couldn’t understand. Or rather, a gaze that you didn't want to understand.

Satoru looked at you countless times with that gaze, with eyes that you couldn't describe. You couldn’t describe it because it was a gaze you never saw before.

It hit you at that exact moment, on that spring cold night, everything started to make sense. 

Satoru liked you. 

And you... and you... You did feel something for him and if you had taken that step earlier, you would have proven one hundred percent that your heart felt something for Satoru Gojo.

Were you in love? You didn't know, you had never experienced love as such, but you had strong feelings for him, that for sure was something.

Feelings for Satoru Gojo.

You chuckled at the mere thought of it. Who would have thought that you could feel something for the person who was now in front of you looking at you with that look, which, no matter how much you didn't want it, made your heart beat faster.

“Listen birdie.” Satoru finally spoke. “What I said at the club… I don’t want to put pressure on you, alright?” You didn’t say a word. “Just ignore it and act as if I didn’t say anything.”

“You want me?” You asked him.

“I want you to what?”

“You really want me to ignore it?” You faced him.

“Honestly?” You nodded. “No, I don’t want you to ignore it. But you don’t… god birdie, I don’t want you to forget the answer to that question but I also don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable with something you probably don’t feel the same way.”

“How… how do you know that?” You pressed your hands against your knees and looked at Satoru through your eyelashes.

“Birdie…” He lightly laughed. “You are drunk, you don’t know what…”

“They say that drunk people always say the truth.” You looked up at him.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, the intensity reaching the depths of your emotions, making your head vibrate anticipation. Satoru opened and closed his mouth, as if he was searching for the right words to say next. You were aware of your intoxication, another sip would sink you deeper into this haze. Despite how cloudy your thoughts were, you didn't regret the honesty that was flowing from your lips.

In the heavy silence that was formed between both of you, you could practically hear your heart pounding against your chest, the anticipation being palpable in the air.

Satoru's expression softened, his eyes meeting yours with a mix of uncertainty. "I... I care about you, more than I can express in words." He admitted, his voice being only a whisper.

Your breath was caught in your throat and for a single moment you swore your heart stopped beating. The weight of his words sank as you searched in his eyes for any sign of deception. But all you found was honesty, raw and unfiltered, making you feel exposed and vulnerable under his blue eyes.

"I do not know what to say." You confessed, the words coming out before you could stop them.

Satoru reached out, his hand finding yours, his touch sending an electric shock through your body. "You do not have to say anything." He murmured, his thumb gently brushing your skin.

"I can't just ignore it." You insisted, your voice tinged with desperation, making you almost breathless.

Satoru's brow furrowed slightly, his gaze fixed on you. "I understand." He murmured, his tone soft but determined. “But perhaps now is not the best time to broach it.”

"How...how do you know?" You pressed, your voice barely more than a whisper.

"Because." Satoru began, his voice trailing off for a moment before he continued. “Because you're not thinking clearly right now. And I don't want to say something that could complicate things between us even more.”

A mix of emotions swirling inside you. Despite the fog of intoxication clouding your mind, you couldn't deny what he was saying. But at the same time, the raw honesty of the moment urged you to confront the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.

“I just…need to know.” You admitted, your voice shaking with uncertainty.

Satoru Gojo POV

When Satoru looked away from your tired eyes, he felt a pang of longing. He couldn't ignore the fact that you had both been drinking, clouding your judgments. Your flushed cheeks and the small pout on your lips only intensified his internal struggle. Despite the pull of desire, he knew that giving in now would do neither of you any favors.

"I..." Satoru hesitated, his voice soft but firm. "I think we should wait." He finally managed to say, his gaze meeting yours again, full of sincerity. He reached out to gently brush his fingers against your cheek, his touch tender but hesitant. "I want this." He confessed, his voice tinged with longing. “But not like this. Not when alcohol is in our way.”

In that moment, Satoru hoped you would understand his words, his desire to wait for the right moment. He watched you slowly nod and look back at your feet.

Kneeling down to your height, he called you again by the now familiar nickname he had given you. “Birdie, look at me…” You did it. “When you are completely sober, ask me the same question again.” His heart was pounding heavily. “My answer will be the same again.”

“I will…” You responded. 

“I hope so.” He smiled and stood back up. “But princess, I think it’s time for you to go back home.” 

You blinked a few times. “It's still early.” You said almost in a whisper. 

“And you're about to fall asleep.” Satoru said. “Let's take a taxi and I'll take you home.”

“What about Kyoko and the rest?” You tried to stand but failed as you felt your legs being tired.

“Let’s go and tell them, we are leaving.” He said grabbing you from the waist.

Satoru felt his being trembling as he surrounded your hip, it was a gesture that was too close and too intimate, but it felt good. Together you returned inside the club, where Satoru quickly saw his best friend and of course, Kyoko.

“Hey!” He said approaching both of them.

Suguru and Kyoko exchanged knowing glances as they took in the scene before them, the undeniable closeness between you and Satoru. Suguru's lips curved into a knowing smile, while Kyoko's expression softened with understanding.

"Well, well, looks like someone had a good time." Suguru joked, his tone full of amusement.

You and Satoru shared a shy look. Satoru's arm remained firmly wrapped around your waist, as you leaned into his side with a feeling of familiarity and comfort.

"It seems so." Kyoko chimed in with a warm smile. "You two look..."

Satoru tried to hide the smile that was threatening to break out. “It's not like that…” He said. “Birdie is tired, I'll take her home, okay?”

Kyoko looked at her best friend. “Do you want me to go with you?”

You shook your head. "It's okay, I trust Satoru." Those words filled Satoru's heart with joy. “I'll write you a message when I arrive, okay?”

Kyoko nodded and then looked from her to Satoru. “Be careful Gojo.”

“I will.” He said, making a small nod with his head. “Let’s go?” 

As the two of you walked outside the club, to wait for a taxi, Satoru couldn't help the warmth that spread through him at the sight of you leaning on his arm. Despite the haze of alcohol, your trust in him was palpable and he couldn't help but feel a flutter of hope in his chest.

He looked at you, the soft glow of the streetlights casting a soft illumination on your features. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than for time to stop, for that moment of closeness to freeze, to savor the intimacy shared between you.

When the taxi stopped in front of you, Satoru gently guided you inside, his heart pounding heavy on his chest. The drive home passed in a blur, the silence between you filled with words stuck in your throat.

When you reached your destination, Satoru got out first and extended a hand to help you out of the taxi. The cool night air enveloped them both, but the warmth of Satoru's touch remained.

"Thank you for everything, Satoru." You murmured, your voice almost as a whisper.

He smiled, his cheeks staining a light blush at your words. “Anytime, birdie.”

Turning on your heel, you begin walking towards the door. As you stumbled, almost falling, Satoru's reflexes kicked in and he reached out to steady you. His touch was gentle but firm, his concern evident in the way he held you.

"Wow, birdie," he said, his voice full of concern. "Are you okay?"

You acknowledged, grateful for his quick intervention. But as you tried to regain your balance, he realized how shaky your legs were and the effects of the alcohol were taking their toll.

"Satoru." You began, your voice barely more than a whisper. “Could you…could you walk me to my room?”

Satoru's hesitation was palpable, his brow furrowed in uncertainty. The thought of being alone with you, so close, felt a rush of mixed emotions through him.

"I... I don't know, birdie." He replied, his voice shaking slightly. “Maybe it's best if you rest here for a while, I will stay with….”

But you shook your head, determination shining in your eyes. "Please, Satoru. I don't want to be alone."

His resolve faltered at the sincerity of his plea and, with a sigh of resignation, he relented. "Okay, birdie. I'll take you to your room."

With Satoru's arm wrapped around you protectively, you headed to your room, each step feeling heavier than the last. When you reached your destination, you turned to him with a grateful smile and a heart full of appreciation for his kindness.

"Thank you, Satoru." You said softly, your voice filled with warmth.

He smiled back at you, a hint of uncertainty lingering in his gaze. "Just promise me you'll get some rest, okay?"

As Satoru stood at the door, watching you, he couldn't help the uneasy feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach. The vulnerability of the situation weighed heavily on him, his mind racing with thoughts of what could go wrong.

But as he looked at you, with your tired eyes and slumped shoulders, he knew that he couldn't leave. With a sigh of resignation, he stepped further into the room.

"If you don't mind, I'll stay with you for a while." He said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper.

You nodded, a feeling of relief washing over you at his words. "I don't mind, Satoru. I trust you."

Taking a seat next to you on the bed. For a while, the two of you sat in silence, the only sound being the steady rhythm of your breathing.

As the minutes passed, the tension in the air began to dissipate. Satoru's gaze softened as he realized that you had fallen into a dream. He smiled to himself and with trembling hands caressed your cheek.

“Rest well birdie.” He whispered to your ear, leaving a soft kiss on your lobe.

It was then that Satoru realized that you were moving your lips, whispering something. Satoru's heart skipped a beat and his breath caught as he understood the words coming out of your mouth. For a moment, he was stunned into silence.

"What do you hate, birdie?" He asked softly, his voice full of tenderness and concern.

"That I like you." You mumbled, your words barely audible in the silence of the room.

His heart clenched at the raw vulnerability of your confession. Satoru felt a warmth spread through him, a sense of hope and possibility that he couldn't ignore.

Gently, he reached out and his hand found yours in the darkness. "Birdie..." He whispered, his voice full of sincerity. "You don't have to hate it. Because I… feel the same way about you.”

Satoru knew that you would not remember those words and if you did you would believe that they were a figment of your imagination. 

Satoru watched you sleep and released his grip of your hands. He lightly left your room and leaned against the door, feeling his entire being burn and his heart beat strongly in his heart. 

You also reciprocated his feelings. But he should not rush, he should take it calmly, so as not to complicate anything that could happen between you.

Your pov

As you sat on your bed, dealing with the remnants of fog from the night before. The first thought that popped into your mind was a mental note to avoid drinking so much in the future.

The second thought that came to your mind was, your feelings for Satoru Gojo. You liked him more than you had ever admitted before, and the weight of that revelation washed over you with a mix of excitement and fear.

Searching through the mixed memories of the previous night, you struggled to remember the conversation you had shared with Satoru outside the club. The details were confusing, like trying to solve a puzzle with more than 1,000 pieces scattered everywhere.

A blush crept across your cheeks as you replayed the scenes in your mind, piecing together the puzzle. Satoru had confessed that he would kiss you sober, a confession that caused a flutter of anticipation in your chest. And you had hinted that you wanted the same.

You shook your head and lay back down on the bed, trying to drown out the screams building in your throat. The thought of calling Satoru crossed your head, but your heart fluttered every time you wanted to reach your phone out. The best thing would be to wait until tomorrow and talk about it tomorrow. That was the right thing to do, to talk about it in person. 

You heard the front door opening and voices entering the house. With light steps you approached the voices and saw that it was Kyoko and Suguru, with a smile playing on your lips you approached them.

"Kyoko." You greeted them, your voice tinged with amusement.

Kyoko's surprise was evident when she turned to you. "I thought you were going to be sleeping." She commented.

"I just woke up." You responded with a shrug, your gaze flickering between Kyoko and Suguru. “And it looks like someone had fun last night.”

Kyoko's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red at your teasing comment, and she quickly shot you a playful glance. "Be quiet." She murmured, a hint of embarrassment coloring her words. "And you? Did you have fun with Satoru?"

The mention of Satoru's name sent a wave of warmth to your cheeks, and you were left speechless. With a nervous laugh, you looked away, hoping you were able to hide the blush that spread across your face.

“I…um.” You stuttered, your voice betraying your nervous state. “Ugh hush.” Kyoko's knowing smile only served to deepen your embarrassment.

“Well girls, I will take my leave.” Suguru said. “Love you.” He whispered against Kyoko’s lips.

“Love you too.” And they both kissed. 

You looked away embarrassed from the intimacy of the moment. Suguru waved goodbye at both of you getting on his car and driving away from your house.

“So…” You began. 

“Yes.” Kyoko confirmed as if she could read your mind. “And you?”

You choked on your coffee. “No!” 

“Huh… sorry you both left together.” Kyoko moved her eyebrows.

“We did? Agh I can’t remember most things…” You cried. “Do you know if something happened between us?” You looked at her.

“I don’t know, I was quite busy with…” She moved her eyes.

“Kyoko…” You sighed. “I have feelings for Satoru.” You finally got it off your chest and said it out loud.

Kyoko looked at you and a big smile appeared across her face. “I knew it!” She screamed. 

“How?” 

“Oh girl, your eyes never lie.” She smirked. “And now Shoko owes me 7000¥!” She danced.

“Excuse me?” You asked. “Did you bet for me and my feelings?” 

“Yep.” She smiled. “I gave you a month to realize, Shoko gave you to the end of the term.” She shrugged and turned around to prepare herself a coffee.

“Was it that obvious? Oh my god.” 

“Kinda.”

“Satoru told me he would kiss me sober.” 

“So he finally had the balls.” Kyoko whispered but you were able to hear her.

“Shit, I can’t hardly remember anything but I think Satoru also likes me?” 

“Oh god!” Kyoko said. “You are completely blind, aren’t you?” 

“What?”

“Yeah Satoru likes you too, have you been paying attention to the way he looks at you or how softly he says that nickname you used to hate so much.”

When you realized it, a mix of surprise and embarrassment flooded your senses. The pieces of the puzzle were finally falling into place, revealing a truth you had previously been too blind to see.

"Oh Lord!" You gasped, unable to contain the revelation that had just hit you.

Kyoko turned, concern etched into her features as she looked at you. "What is it?"

"I think...I think I confessed to Satoru while I was sleeping!" You blurted out, the words leaving your lips in a wave of panic and disbelief.

Kyoko's eyes widened in surprise, her expression a mix of amusement and curiosity. "Really? You had one of you sleeping talk episodes?"

You recounted the events of the previous night, from the hazy memories of the club to the intimate moment shared with Satoru in your room. As you spoke, the weight of your confession hung in the air, filling you with a sense of vulnerability like you had never felt before.

Kyoko listened intently, his gaze softening with understanding. "Well, if it's any consolation, maybe it's a sign that your subconscious knows what your heart really desires."

You couldn't help but laugh at her attempt to lighten the mood, though embarrassment still lingered in the back of your mind. "I guess so." You admitted, a slight blush staining your cheeks. “But still, Kyoko, what am I going to do tomorrow when I see him?”

"What do you mean by that?" Kyoko tilted her head. “It's obvious, you confess, you become a couple and then we can go on double dates!” Kyoko celebrated.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. As Kyoko's excitement bubbled around you, you couldn't help but feel the weight of uncertainty and insecurity pressing down on you and pinning you even harder to the kitchen floor. The idea of taking a step towards a romantic relationship with Satoru filled you with both longing and fear.

In fact, you and Satoru were like opposite poles, two completely opposite worlds that found themselves dancing around a whirlwind of desire and uncertainty. The undeniable attraction between you was evident to those around you.

What would happen if things didn't work out between you? What if taking that step forward ruined the beautiful friendship you had built over those few weeks? It had only been a few weeks but the thought of losing Satoru as a friend, of losing the warmth and comfort that his presence provided, sent a shiver down your spine.

You laughed bitterly at the irony of it all: the idea of ​​being friends with Satoru Gojo seemed impossible not long ago, and yet here you were, cherishing the bond you had forged with him.

The warmth that settled in your chest whenever he was around, the feeling of protection that enveloped you when you were together, those were the things you didn't want to lose. The thought of sacrificing that for the uncertain promise of romance left you torn and conflicted.

You knew that Satoru felt the same as you, his heart beat strongly for you. It shouldn't be that complicated, to take that step forward. But the cloud of uncertainty loomed over your head, threatening to unload at any moment.

“I will talk with Satoru tomorrow.” You made your decision. “And see what happens.” You nodded for yourself.

“Oh baby, I’m so proud of you.” She clapped. “You will see everything will work smoothly.” She smiled.

You really hope it was like that, you really did.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

To say that you had slept little was to say a lot, you had barely slept a wink the whole night. The weight of uncertainty settled heavily on your chest, and each passing hour amplified the questions and doubts that swirled in your mind.

How would you face Satoru today? How would you muster the courage to confront the issue of your feelings, knowing that the outcome was far from certain?

But in the midst of the chaos of your thoughts, a new worry arose, one that sent a shiver of fear through you. What if, to Satoru, you were nothing more than a passing fancy? What if the rumors about his reputation as a "fuckboy" had some truth to them and your feelings for him were nothing more than a fleeting whim?

You had dismissed the rumors as baseless gossip, believing in the sincerity and depth of the connection you shared with Satoru.

What if you had fallen in love with someone who saw you as nothing more than a conquest? That thought was like a dagger into your soul, piercing the fragile hope that had sustained you through the long night.

As you leaned your head against the classroom window, frustration and anticipation gnawing at your nerves, the arrival of your classmates brought a momentary distraction. 

“Hey guys! Professor Tanaka has just posted the results on the app!” The mention of the exam results brought you back to reality.

You almost forgot about the exam you had due to the emotions surrounding everything that happened during the weekend. 

With a feeling of dread, you pulled out your phone and navigated to the app, your heart racing as you searched for your score. And when you saw the mark, 100, your breath caught and a wave of relief washed over you.

"Birdie?"

The sound of Satoru's voice brought you out of your reverie and you looked up to see him standing in front of you, his gaze fixed on you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.

"Satoru!" You exclaimed, unable to contain your excitement. "The results are out! I got a 100!"

But as you spoke, Satoru's expression changed, a smile appearing on his lips. "Well, I guess we might have a problem." He said cryptically.

Confusion crossed your features as you tried to make sense of his statement. "What do you mean?" You asked, tilting your head in confusion.

Satoru met your gaze with a playful glint in his eyes. "I also got a 100." He revealed. “I guess our bet ended in a tie, birdie.”

- comment if you want to be tagged

🏷️: @lavender-hvze , @crybabytoru , @sanriosatoru , @norvacaine , @sadmonke , @faetoraa , @hexipessimistic , @gojoful , @kitzusune , @sh0jun , @manyno , @ropickle , @milk3evee , @crunchypotatoooooooooo , @catobsessedlady , @lolsasuke , @zoeyflower , @starlostwish , @tinydonkeysforlife

#gojo satoru smut #jujutsu kaisen gojo #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #gojo saturo #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #satoru gojo #gojo satoru x oc #gojo satoru fanfiction #gojo satoru fanfic #satoru gojo x y/n #satoru gojo x you #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo x oc #satoru x you #fanfic jjk #jjk x oc #jjk x you #getou suguru x y/n #getou suguru x you #geto x you #geto x oc #nanami x reader #toji x reader

[claiestve]

𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 ꨄ Dontis

˜”* ❝𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚, 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ᴅᴏɴᴛɪꜱ ɴᴇᴇᴅꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀꜱ ᴍᴜᴄʜ.

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

"Does this hurt you?" 

You wrapped Dontis’ hands and arms with a bandage. They were covered in scars and heartbreakingly deep cuts. You knew he was strong enough to handle the pain but it still upset you seeing him like this. At least he came back in one piece though, right? Still, you wished he’d be more careful. 

"No."

"Why didn't you take me with you?"

“You need a break from the hunting and the fighting. Why would I take you? Even then, my life was on the line and I would never put yours at the same risk.”

He was awfully serious today. Like, less bubbly and gentle. You could tell why, he was injured in every place imaginable and he just came back from defending himself and other people. No matter how long someone’s been alive, that’s something that’ll forever shake them. Nonetheless, you wished he lightened up a bit. It was usually you that’d be the pessimistic one. Not that he was being negative, just, less positive. 

“Maybe if I was there, this wouldn’t happen.”

“Yeah, to me. It’d happen to you and then I’d be here caressing your hands, flirting with you, and making you feel bad.”

“I am not flirting with you, Dontis. I’m trying to help you.”

“Lying won’t get you anywhere, dear.”

You rolled your eyes at his remark. All you wanted was for him to be safe and healthy and you wished more than anything that you were there. You knew he could handle himself. He’s not incompetent but you just have that instinct for your dear incubus.

“And… Done! Can you move your arm well enough?”

“Ah, yeah. Thank you.”

He adjusted himself onto the bed and laid back. He seemed more tense than usual. You narrowed it down to him just being in a lot of pain. It made sense, he came to you with his arms practically painted with blood. Those cuts were deep too. 

“Are you going to keep staring or will you join me?” He smiled at you. 

“I mean, do you want me to?”

“It would make me feel better.”

He opened his arms out for you as you adjusted yourself. Dontis loved doing that, holding you. He loved to have you in his arms, on his chest, and breathing at the same pace as him. You loved it just as much. Though, you’d never admit it and you’d never ask to cuddle. 

When he finally had you, he wrapped his arm around your back, having your chest face his. His grip was more secure than usual. 

“Dontis?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Ah,” He cleared his throat, “Yeah? Why? Do I seem off? I’m sorry if I do.”

That. Right there. Not that Dontis was impolite, because he wasn’t, but he was unapologetically himself. That’s who he is and has been since you’ve met him. But right now, he’s apologizing for… acting strange?

“Dontis. You can talk to me. Actually, no. Please talk to me.”

He used his free hand to hold one of yours, playing with your fingers. 

“I suppose I’ve just been thinking a lot. I’m a survivor of something huge and I made it out with my friend and his love. I should feel accomplished and I do.”

“But?”

“But I can’t. I can’t dwell on this. I have a purpose, to comfort. It seems my kind only live to serve their purpose. I don’t want to though. I want to live my life and with people, I love without only serving my purpose. I do love comforting people but if I could just have a domestic life with you and settle…”

“Why can’t you?”

“It’s not in my blood. I’m not even supposed to think about it. You shouldn’t be the one listening to me anyway. Just… act like I didn’t say anything.”

You unraveled your intertwined fingers and held his hand by the palm. Caressing your hand, Dontis hummed, knowing you would put him in check. 

“Dontis. Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Act like it’s okay, don’t.”

“You’re not supposed to be my therapist, that’s my job.”

He tried to pull his hand away from yours. It didn’t work. You wouldn’t let him push this aside. You wanted him to know that you were there for him no matter what. 

“I don’t care what your job is, Dontis. It doesn’t matter. I’m here for you no matter what. Yeah, your kind have things you’re ‘meant to do’ but Dontis, you’re so much more than that. You’re more than what you were born as, okay?”

“Thank you. You know, you’re kind of good at this. Maybe you’ve learned some things from yours truly.” He teased. 

It was nice to see him being playful again and embracing his personality. He knew he wasn’t alone in this as long as you were here and that’s all you wanted. 

“I love you, okay?”

“I know, dear hunter, I love you too.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

haihaihaihai!!!

#zsakuva #asmr #sakuverse #zsakuvaxreader #dontis #lalallalalalala

[mistercathat]

could you maybe write something on xanthus, kayson, or isaac comforting their partner? i feel like they’d have interesting methods hehe~

(ʏᴏᴜ) ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴀʀᴍ - ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴘʟᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ☆

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴄʟᴀɪʙᴏʀɴᴇ, ᴋᴀʏꜱᴏɴ ᴍᴀʏᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜱᴀᴀᴄ ʀʜᴏᴀᴅᴇꜱ.

i did this in headcanon form if that’s alright lovely <3 i couldn’t decide on who to write for so i did them all :)) !

gender neutral reader as always :)

tw/cw: none!

xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴄʟᴀɪʙᴏʀɴᴇ ･ ｡ﾟ☆ -

• would detect straight away if your feeling upset or a little down (from the bond of course, and he’s a vampire :33 )

• would definitely be the type to quietly ask “are you alright love?” or “what’s the matter?”

• would listen to EVERY word, and i mean EVERYTHING.

• if it was about your feelings, he’d hold your hand while listening and then slowly pull you into a hug, wrapping one arm around your back and the other on your head, rubbing up and down to soothe you.

• if it was about your body / or dysmorphia, he would be the type to kiss gently across the parts where your feeling insecure, and then seal it off with a kiss, to make sure you know he’s being truthful (would probably give you a hug again lol)

• if you were to cry, i feel like a part of him would be upset too. he can’t bear to see you cry.

• would hold your face and wipe away your tears while shushing you, looking gently into your eyes and smiling softly.

• if you needed to cry onto his shoulder, he’d gladly let you, letting you take all the time you need. he knows humans are fragile and need to let out their emotions every once in a while.

• would NOT CARE if you got his shirt soggy, as long as you are feeling better that’s all that matters.

• if you didn’t want to talk or just wasn’t in the mood, BUT still wanted comfort, he’d beckon you to lie down with him on his chest, arms wrapped tightly around you, and draw soothing circles onto your palms slowly.

• wouldn’t mind at all about the silence if that’s what you wanted, he’d probably end up listening to your breathing or heartbeat the whole time anyway <33

˗ˋˏ°• ᴋᴀʏꜱᴏɴ ᴍᴀʏᴇʀ -

• now we’ve already seen him comfort listener a few times in his audios, but i’m gonna list headcanons anyway 🙏

• he’d probably detect it straight away, but not say anything until he’s aware you know that HE knows that your off.

• he’d probably drop hints throughout the day, like silently rubbing circles into your knuckles while holding your hand, or asking “are you alright?”

• would wait until you get home to ask you what’s wrong, as he doesn’t want to panic you in a public space.

• if you were venting and suddenly burst into tears while speaking, he’d pull you in and let you sit on his lap, stroking your hair and gently rocking you back and fourth to calm you down.

• would sit there ALL day listening to you, he just wants you to be happy :((

• if the issue was something he could do about it, he’d get involved and help you sort it out (if that makes sense 🗣️)

• if not, he’d hold your hands and tell you that things will get better, and that it will all work out in the end ❤️‍🩹

• again, would be the type to not care how long you cry, it’s better out than in. he’d wait forever for you, as long as your okay in the end :))

ɪꜱᴀᴀᴄ ʀʜᴏᴀᴅᴇꜱ + *.☽ .* -

• he’d be SO concerned, he’d probably think something huge has happened.

• he’d probably be the dense type that wouldn’t really know what to do.

• if he caught you crying, he’d probably sort of ask questions quickly like “what happened? are you alright? did something happen?”

• poor man is traumatised ☹️

• he’d listen intently, understanding you straight away. he’d probably say things like “i get it.” or “i understand what your feeling.” to try and comfort you more.

• if you wanted a hug, would probably wrap his arms around you, guide your head to his shoulder, and sort of pat you gently on the back ? (he’s trying his best)

• if you were crying onto him, he’d probably whisper things like “it’s okay.” and “it will be fine.”

• would probably ask again if anything has happened, just to make sure.

• if you wanted to stay with him, i don’t think he’d mind sort of cuddling on the couch with you nuzzled into him, just enjoying his presence.

• during this he’d probably put his hand on your head and very slowly stroke your hair.

• would probably make you a drink like a cup of tea or some juice after to hydrate you, and to make you feel better :))

• he’s trying his best okay <33

hi hi i hope this was okay :-)) ive never done headcanons before so this was sort of new for me so im sorry if this is a bit ‘rough’. also this isn’t proof read so please tell me if there are any mistakes <33

requests are open! thank you for reading <33

- jude 🌱

#zsakuva #zsakuvafandom #zsakuvaxreader #sakuverse #xanthusclaiborne #kaysonzsakuva #isaacrhoades

[saingirl101]

Okay had some time and shitposts to really think about the finale of FHJY

I literally have rewritten this post several times thats how complex it feels.

Spoilers under the cut

First off I love that potential threads are hanging in the air particularly for adaine and kristen.

Character wise kristen ironically could have been the most complete storyline after FHSophY however with how Ally played her this season i think narratively she is the bad kid who absolutely needs a continuation for her story - tracker, bucky, her messy enemiess beebees ship, her parents, the whole buddy/bobby dawn thing, FUCKING KALINA, like the way brennan ended the season its like he's T-ing up another narratively perfect season for kristen.

Fabian, our darling boy makes several strides in improving himself and several steps back in other ways. I for one would die from laughter while he deals with having a GF, his mom, step father and grandpapa all living in the same house with a new elf baby (and also potentially stepsibling Fig).

Adaine - godamn what a fantastic narrative season as well, her confidence this season was so hot and siobhan continues to just be a dream TTRPG player. Like she's been killing it with her character decisions, impeccable comedic timing, and knowledge of the game out of the park for literally the past year and half.

Riz, like my god, such a perfect season for him and getting to see his character growth as well. He's also literally the hottest he's ever been and while I am sad he is aroace so i cannot make an OC to smooch him, he's just so fucking ool it doesn't even matter. ALSO RIZ YOU HAVE MULTIPLE QUEER PEOPLE ON YOUR TEAM YOU CAN DEFINITELY TELL THEM YOU ARE AROACE KING.

Gorgug, wow what a fucking season. Zac always kills it with his characters but besides the bit in freshman year I don't know that I ever clicked with gorgug as much as I did this season. He also had an amazing arc all those nat 20s in the last stand, the nat 20s to get them the academic help while he took on four years of school in one year, using his aertificer stuff to help take down his literal nemesis and the person whose put him down for years.

And now we come to fig and my controversial opinion. I still feel like despite them trying to T-up this possibly being emily's fairwell from playing fig I don't feel like narratively it makes sense. theres just still so much in the air and I would love to see her relationship with ankarna grow and blossom. Also despite the talk theres just so much left unresolved between her and sandra lynn. That said I'll be sad but understand if emily plays another character if they do ever make FHseniorY. THAT SAID, BRENNAN YOU OWE ME A SEASON OF GILEAR SHENNANIGANS. FIG DID SAY SHE MIGHT MOVE INTO SEACASTER MANOR, LET HER PULL LOONEY TOONS SHENNAIGANS TO PREVENT FABIAN FROM MURDER THEIR NEW SIBLING.

#fhjy #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers #the bad kids #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #adaine abernant #fabian seacaster #gorgug thistlespring #figuroth faeth #riz gukgak #d20

[blues-valentine]

I think some people that are so convinced Tashi doesn’t love Art are so fixated in portraying her as a heartless manipulative woman that only cares about him in the sense of Tennis and that can all be true but she also does love him in her own twisted self absorbing ways, implying the opposite feels offensive to Tashi who isn’t the type to submit herself to a relationship of 15 years with someone she could barely tolerate.

She is absolutely living vicariously through Art as a Tennis player, but you also get the sense of intimacy and small moments that Tashi is Art’s wife and partner, not just his coach. It’s subtle, but it’s there. Them cuddling on the coach could easily be them on any Sunday morning when their relationship isn’t at odds. And you can see Tashi smiling a little in that moment.

Their relationship was also build on a genuine interest — they didn’t get together right after Tashi’s injury since she was in a vulnerable place. They got together years later on a date where Tashi was like a flustered 20ish year old that allows him to see some of her defenses down. Tashi also asks Art if he’s still in love with her (as she is now and not the fierce tennis player he once knew) because here’s the thing about Tashi, she says she doesn’t want to be loved but later asks him if he’s still in love with her cause she wants love not matter how hard she convinces herself she doesn’t — and Art is someone that can give her that feeling of this unconditional love. Someone pointed out Art is the person she has vulnerable scenes with and I believe he does bring that out of her even if she resists that to put on a stronger facade. As opposed to Patrick, that usually lights up her impulsive side. Art is more like the steady calm.

(Which is why Tashi and Patrick would’ve never worked in a relationship because they’re both too impulsive and he would’ve never allow her to control him and his career like she wanted).

I believe Tashi’s real true love is Tennis, but she does love Art. I think she’s full of bullshit saying she would leave Art if he stops playing because I think she would never leave him. She would’ve ages ago. Their relationship feels odd because we are only seeing their marriage falling apart because Art doesn’t want to play anymore and has lost its passion for it but makes you wonder how their marriage would normally be in all the good days where Art had a passion for Tennis.

And a lot of people be like “but she cheated on him with Patrick twice!” but she can love Art and still pursue the thrill Patrick provides. First, Tashi has never been implied to be a constant cheater, it’s just Patrick (in throuple we trust). This people are all morally questionable but a thing that is common about Tashi’s encounters with Patrick is that she’s always on a bad place. The first time in Atlanta was after she saw Anna (the girl she played with and won the same day she meet both Art and Patrick) is in the first place without a rival, a place that could’ve been hers if she was still playing — she sees Patrick being a loser (affectionate) and is low key resentful of Art because he’s being a successful tennis player so they bond over that, about the feeling of being a failure. And then later, Tashi is in another bad place because Art doesn’t want to play Tennis anymore and if he stops playing then her link to Tennis is also over. The game with Patrick is her last chance to make him love Tennis again. And when she sleeps with Patrick, she’s frustrated because she’s seeing how Art lost confidence in the game and so she goes there to ensure Art doesn’t lose. She tells Art she would leave him if he loses, but then goes to beg Patrick to ensure that doesn’t happen. And that sealed the deal for me. Yes, she could also be doing all that just because she doesn’t want to lose since she’s basically living through Art — but I think that’s a very one dimensional take because Patrick asked her in the original screenplay if Art winning would make her love him again, to which she responds she never stopped loving him. Because, even if he loses the game, she would love him. And one thing she has in common with Pat is their love for Art.

Like, Tashi resents Art because he is living the life she should be having as a professional tennis player, that’s what Patrick was referring to when he told her she hated Art, and while she hates being seem as just the wife and not the tennis player herself, she also hates the fact she would never truly leave him. Let Tashi have feelings, not everything is so one dimensional.

#challengers #challengers 2024 #art donaldson #tashi duncan #patrick zweig #text post #and at the end i think all of them had a happy ending #tashi got to see a good tennis match and get that satisfaction #art got his best friend back and love for tennis #and patrick got art back (and also be in their lives) #and tashi won’t leave art ever but maybe patrick can light some fire in their marriage again #is a happy ending to me

[must-be-mr-boggins]

I’m sick and can’t talk, but I’ll be d4mned if that stops me from posting Bagginshield trash.

#I love how it still makes sense no matter who’s saying it #also Thorin looks very hot in this #bilbo you might have a point #bilbo baggins #the hobbit #thorin oakenshield #bagginshield #thorin x bilbo #books #movies #tolkien #fanfic #lotr #ship #ao3 #fave dynamic

[monards]

i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit

#sorry. i dont think theres any good and plausible explanation for rhine to still be a kind or gentle person in general #she can (and SHOULD) have her moments. but it'd make so much more sense (and be much more impactful) for her to be inherently cruel #because look at all the stuff thats happened #i love the indomitable human spirit trope. dont get me wrong. #but rhine has that in the way she WONT stop her research till shes either dead or murdered. she is not gonna be gentle kind and optimistic #she watched all her kids (that she was SHOWN to care for) get very brutally murdered. #had to then go and kill her next creations that she didn't consider perfect (which most certainly fucks a women up. no matter what you say) #made the 'perfect creation' and the way she treated him was obviously a HUGE contrast to how she was before (being gentle and nuturing) #and left him (albeit with what we can guess was good intent) with NO goodbye just #a recommendation letter. a text. and his final mission #she could have good intent #and still care for others #dont get me wrong!!!!!!! #but shes. human??? #humans can be (as much as i hate to say it) a tad selfish when it comes to survival #and being antagonized demonized AND shunned by teyvat and even her own people. having to survive multiple gods wrath #isn't. gonna be good for the human psych #and it isn't gonna be something fixable #look at how furina progressively faltered over a hundered years WHILE being adored #she already started waning in her ethics and morals (as someone immortalized as a human WOULD) #with exposing lyney and all of that when it was VERY clearly the morally wrong thing to do (which her as a human would know) #and being relatively pessimistic and clearly spiralling #(no hate. i love furina with all my heart.) #if thats how FURINA started going #imagine rhine who has nobody (save maybe alice. but i doubt she'd be constant given her spontaneous nature and refusal to sit still) #shit man. even I'D go crazy and be horrible. #its okay and natural to be bitter #and its not as if anybody was there to help #hexenzirkel has a ton of women who survived their own nations falling yes #but not ONE of them (from what we know) has had circumstances any where near rhine's

[dnangelic]

anytime i think about panelset i cry btw

#*･ﾟ⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT. #UUUU TOWA UUUU ARGENTINE #THEY'RE SO RESPECTFUL THEY'RE SO GRATEFUL TO HIM. #TO DARK. TO THE FIGUREHEAD. TO THEIR LUCIFER. THE EXALTED. NOBLE HALF OF THE KOKUYOKU #GUY WHO'S BEEN ALONE AND IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN FOR 2000 YEARS STILL DESPERATELY TRYING TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT FOR THE OTHER ARTWORKS #NO MATTER WHAT IT TOOK!!! TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR HIS OWN CREATION AND EXISTENCE!! #clinging to love and meaning no matter his own inherent lack of feeling!!!! doing what he wants n what feels RIGHT #even as krad tells him over and over he could just ignore it all and get away without blame or responsibility!!! #'just let [everyone] die' how could he possibly do that???? how could he possibly?? when manisumea helped him then was destroyed for it?? #the instant he fell into betrayal against the hikari- fury and sorrow and his own tearful sense of betrayal too!!! #it's just the way i knoOOOW dark wished he could refuse it. esp since they've broken at this point #or the way he's just absolutely not used to it. the slightest kindness. anyone's /gratefulness/ #rather than ignorant admiration or criminal cursing like the rest of azumano's populace #all these arts never even once being told they were important by anybody. except the niwa family #dark who always has so many troubles -saying- it and practically never does. but works the hardest #flings himself immediately and consistently into the most danger for anyone and anything he wants to protect #KINDNESS SOWN AMONG THE MEEK IS HARVESTED IN CRISIS!!! #power of love and friendship wins and explodes the enemy. GOD BLESS #the completed kokuyoku too always makes me think of the phrase 'love laying sorrow/hatred to rest' #it's heartbreaking for daisuke but for dark it's his penultimate moment. it really is #there's SO MUCH GOING ONNNNN UAAAAAA -goes to bed- #if i think about how in the published volumes dark actually starts cracking and breaking I'LL CRY.......... NOT MY HOT TOPIC EMO #HES MY BEST FRIEND </3 #reference.

[winter-spark]

I notice that even though Citron's my fave, I spend more time here talking about Orange and Navel.

I think it's fear of being wrong.

#I can say with upmost confidence that everything I say about Orange and Navel is accurate #that's a joke but I do feel like I can say “whatever I want” and not feel like I'll be horribly wrong about it #I've even discussed with myself why if it turned out Orange and Navel were actually born the same year as Citron it'd still make sense #that's not my fave age breakdown but if someone else or the game said they were I'd be like a'ight that's fine I guess #I don't want to say something wrong/inaccurate about Citron tho because the thing is that no matter where I go I'm the odd one out somehow #and I don't want to know what I think on Citron might be wrong I love him and so I'm extra sensitive there #I even have a whole partial joke post that no one reacted to (okay it's a ship post but he's half the ship so...) #that shows me no one agrees with me so I should keep to myself #also tho Orange and Navel are just easier to come up with headcanons for lol #But like like like when I write Citron he's actually the least independent to himself brother if that makes sense #(I'm not sure it does... it's explained better a couple tags down but I'm not saying he doesn't have his own interests #but rather some of his interests/opinions are somewhat influenced by his brothers & he's like that the most out of the four of them) #I mean I haven't written enough Tangerine to compare him here so he might be more but then again he's very opinionated and sure of things #so who can say yet #(I say as if I've written any of them much at all. Genuinely this might not be an entirely fair comparison but still.) #Citron & his brothers #as for how I write Citron he like like has approximate knowledge & mild interest in certain things bcuz he knows his brothers are into them #which is kinda the reverse of SenriMono huh? #but to me it makes sense for Citron because he doesn't want to be fighting with his brothers he wants to be on good terms with them #so I think in the back of his mind he takes interests in things and has thoughts like: 'maybe I can talk to them about these things one day #or 'if there's a point when we're not fighting I'll ask ____ about ___' #you know? #these tags are too long #sorry for rambling #I legit could've just made a separate post with them #but then I'd be putting my thoughts on Citron on display and that'd be scary so I won't move them #I'm almost certain no one reads my tags anyway #still. sorry to the person who actually does and had to read through all this #idk why you didn't stop but I appreciate you regardless :3 #by the way did you know there was a 30 tags tag limit? I just found out lol

[ectoplasmer]

voicing how I get insecure over the fact that I can’t handle horror as well as the bakurae can because i’m a wimp and having a 50/50 chance of being met with a response like “oh no that’s fine!! that just means you’re more sane than me” or “you haven’t seen nor experienced nearly the amount things I have but yes you are a wimp”

#</3 #i just…. get worried that i’m letting them down if i’m not enjoying weird creepy things like they do #i can handle horror movies because that’s more of a ‘controlled’ environment and i know it’s fake #it’s more like… those youtube videos that talk about analog horror or unsolved mysteries etc #sometimes even those videos that are meant to be art projects #the ones that seem more grounded in reality if that makes sense?? #heck i say that but i still get spooked by videos about lost media o_o #listen. as a child who had unlimited access to the internet at a young age #that dumb candle cove creepypasta literally ruined me #anyway i know it really doesn’t matter because i love them and i’m pretty sure they’d still love me even if i can’t handle some scary things #but my brain is mean and never allows me to live down anything so #i personally think bakura would like having an excuse to act all tough and protective for me #(even if the body he inhabits probably has a vitamin d deficiency lol)/lh #he’s kind of been stripped of everything that made him powerful and threatening #so if he gets to still behave as such towards nonexistent threats over his fraidy-cat of a girlfriend i think he’d be satisfied <3 #and i know ryou would be happy to cuddle me until i calmed down #he’d probably be just as enthusiastic about explaining what the media means/how it was made/etc as he would be watching it :) #it’d… also probably make him feel good getting to ‘protect’ me from those kinds of fears lol #anyway (x2). why did typing this out actually calm me down a little #woahhh distraction methods actually work what a surprise #anyway hi tumblr i’m alive happy new year hope you’re all doing well <333 #spooky ghosts #four of spades

[honeybittersweet]

My brother broke up with her girlfriend and says it's my fault bc I didn't say hi to her nicely enough all the time + I didn't make her feel welcome by putting on a good face when she was around. Girlie, I'm sorry to tell you this, but in my house, I'm not gonna put on a nice face, I've been doing it all day and I'm not gonna do it in my own home just bc you're gonna cry if I don't.

#for context she is a very sensitive person. has anxiety and depression. #and i may be an asshole. but i'm not gonna change my whole demeanor just bc of that. i'm not gonna treat you like a delicate flower #which was how my brother was acting. he even say it so. that he watches the things he says or does as not to make her have a break down #which makes sense if your partner is like that but what the hell do i have to do with that? #listen. i've been in love and friends with people who have both anxiety and depression. and it was exhausting. #i will never put myself in that situation again. no matter with who. idc #also. funny how it was me the principal factor and not the fact that my brother literally told her he didn't have life plans with her #a bit more of context: me and him have never gotten along and we've been living together without parents since 2021 #and he has annoying attitudes #he takes like a week to do the dishes and pots. he leaves his towel wet on a wood furniture. invites ppl over. treats me badly #he also tends to insult me. we fight a lot. #and on top of that he was inviting her over all the time #i'm someone who likes to be home alone. i love it. my brother leaves work at 8pm. she gets out at 7pm. i get home at 7pm and she's there #up until last year she would eat the food my mom would buy especifically for me and stopped bc i literally had to hid the food in my room #also both of them were like !!! but gf locks herself in (my bro)'s room!! so she doesn't ''bother me'' #and it's like. honey. idc where tf you are. i'm still not home alone. i don't get the same freedom #+ when i'm truly home alone i spend time in the kitchen. go around semi naked. sing out loud. do you really expect me to do those things #when somebody else who doesn't even live here is staying over?

[star-ocean-peahen]

After watching Cinderella (the original animated movie, which was my favorite as a child), it strikes me how it solves many common problems people have with this fairy tale. Like:

Why did they try to identify the mystery girl using her shoe size? Because the bullheaded king's only clue to her identity was the shoe the Grand Duke picked up off the steps.

Why didn't the prince recognize her by her face? Because his father wouldn't involve him in the process at all, and wasn't the one going around trying to find her.

Why did the prince want to marry a lady he only met that night? Because his father was going to force him to marry someone, and he genuinely liked this woman.

Why did Cinderella want to marry a man she only met that night? Because marriage was her best and most secure way to freedom. Fucked up, but you can't say it's unrealistic for the setting of a fairy tale. She also genuinely liked him.

If they're using the slipper to find her, wouldn't it be more sensible to search for the person with the other slipper? Yes. The King is purposefully nonsensical and the Duke is purposefully terrified enough of him to carry out his orders to the letter. Furthermore, they end up doing that in the end anyway, because the Duke's glass slipper is shattered, and Cinderella brings out the one she has to prove her identity.

Why didn't the stepmother and stepsisters recognize Cinderella at the ball? Because they were dancing too far away, and then left the party to dance in private, which was possible because the King wanted very badly for his son to hit it off with someone and tried to arrange the best conditions for that to happen.

Why didn't Cinderella save herself? Because in real life, abuse victims should not have to shoulder that responsibility, and usually can't. In real life, you need and deserve an external support system. Asking for help, in this kind of situation, is very important. She is saved by others because she is loved. Because she is not alone. Because she has friends who love her, and want her to be happy and safe and free. Because in real life, people who want to help someone who is suffering are like the mice. We can't pull out miracle solutions, but we can provide companionship and if we're in the right place at the right time, we can help the person find a better life.

Why didn't the fairy godmother save Cinderella from her abusive household, or try to help her sooner? Because she's magic, and magic can't solve your problems. Quote: "Like all dreams, well, I'm afraid it can't last forever." This (and Cinderella's dream of going to the ball) is a metaphor for pleasurable things in bad circumstances. An ice cream won't get rid of your depression, but it will provide you with momentary happiness to bolster you, as well as the reminder that happiness in general is still possible for you. Cinderella doesn't want to go to the ball so she can get away from her stepmother and stepsisters, or so she can meet someone to marry and leave with. She wants to go to the ball to remind herself that she can still have things she wants. That her desires matter. This is important because the movie does a very good job of illustrating Lady Tremaine's subtle abuse tactics, all of which invisibly press the message that Cinderella doesn't matter. While going to the ball and fulfilling her dreams may not be a victory in the material sense, it is still a victory against Lady Tremaine's efforts.

Why is Cinderella's choice to be kind and obedient framed as a good thing, when you are not obligated to be kind to your abuser? This one walks a very fine line, but I think the movie still makes it make sense. Lady Tremaine never acknowledges her cruelty. She always frames her punishments of Cinderella as Cinderella's fault. Cinderella is interrupting, Cinderella is shirking her duties, Cinderella is playing vicious practical jokes. Cinderella is still a member of the family, of course she can go to the ball, provided she meet these impossible conditions. Lady Tremaine's tactics are designed to make Cinderella feel like she must always be in the wrong and her stepmother must always be in the right. If Cinderella calls her stepmother out on her cruelty, or attempts to fight back, Lady Tremaine can frame that as Cinderella being ungrateful, cruel, broken, evil, etc. If Cinderella responds to her stepmother's cruelty defiantly (in the way she's justified to), she's not taking control out of Lady Tremaine's hands. Disobedience can be spun back into her stepmother's control. She wants Cinderella to be angry and sad and show how much she's hurting. So since Cinderella is adapting to her situation, she chooses to be kind. Not only because she naturally wants to be and it's part of her personality, but because it is a form of defiance in its own way, and it allows her to keep a reminder of her agency and value. Her choice to be kind is her chance to keep her own narrative alive: she is not obeying because her stepmother wants her to and she has to do what her stepmother does, but because she wants to. It's a small distinction, but one that makes all the difference in terms of keeping her hope and identity. (Fuck, I wrote a whole paragraph about how this doesn't mean you can't be angry at people who hurt you or that you need to be kind to deserve help, and then deleted it by accident. Uh. Try again.) Expressing anger and pain is an important part of regaining autonomy and healing. Although it is commendable to be kind while you are suffering, it is NOT required for you to get help or be worthy of help. If Cinderella's recovery was explored beyond "happily ever after" she would need to let herself be angry and sad to heal. Cinderella is not only kind because it comes naturally to her, but because it's her defense against the abuse she's suffering. Everyone's story and experiences are different, and one does not invalidate the other.

Bonus round for answers that aren't part of the movie:

Why didn't Cinderella run away? Where would she go? Genuinely, in hundreds-of-years-ago France, where would she go if she snuck out of the window with a change of clothes? With her step-family, she's miserable and abused, but she's fed, clothed, and in no danger of dying or being taken advantage of by anyone other than her stepmother and stepsisters. Even if she escapes and manages to find financial security, her stepmother might be able to find her and get her back.

Why didn't Cinderella burn the house down with them inside it/slit their throats in the night/poison their food/etc.? Because that's a revenge fantasy, and this story is a fantasy about being saved. There's nothing wrong with making Cinderella into a revenge fantasy. That's perfectly fine, as long as you acknowledge that the other type of fantasy is also a valid interpretation. (I mean, the original fairy tale features the stepsisters getting their feet mutilated and all three of them getting their eyes pecked out, so go for it.)

Why isn't Cinderella more proactive in general? Because she's a child who has been abused for the back half of her life, who has had to be focused on survival because. you know. she's an abused kid.

How did she dance in glass slippers? Gotta agree with you there man, that's weird.

#cinderella #cinderella (1950) #fairy tales

[ambrosiagourmet]

I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:

So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.

In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.

At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.

And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.

Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.

If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.

We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:

So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.

Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."

So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.

However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, no it very much is not.

Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:

Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.

But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.

If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.

Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.

Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.

We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.

And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.

So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.

It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.

And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:

Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.

And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.

We see her choose to come back to life.

And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:

Do you want to eat more?

There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.

When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.

But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.

And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.

It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #dunmeshi analysis #I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you #and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of #but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living. #and you can #dungeon meshi spoilers

[januaryembrs]

YOU'RE TOO SWEET FOR ME | Spencer Reid x Sunshine!Reader

Request: @avis-writeshq says -

HELLO HELLO jumping on your 2k celebration reqs because 2K OMG SO DESERVED ‼️🫶

may i perhaps request a spencer reid x fem!reader fic please 🥹 maybe him post prison w new reader and she follows him around everywhere because she’s just instantly enamoured to him 🤭

thank you so so much lovely and congrats again !!!

Description: thirteen years in the fbi and ten weeks in prison does a number on Spencer, only when he arrives back in the office he meets the sunshine rookie that seems rather taken with him.

word length: 2.6k (this really ran away from me)

warnings: post-prison Reid, slightest age gap, Spencer dealing with coming home from prison, gun shooting?

authors note: hozier’s new song 'Too Sweet' + post-prison reid is a need, not a want.

He smelled her french vanilla perfume before he even knew she was there. But then again, it was all he could smell the minute she waltzed into the office with a tray of coffee, like someone had stuck a sweet dessert in the oven and baked it on full. 

“Good morning!” She chirped, winding an arm over his shoulder and setting down a take out cup and a little chocolate donut on his desk, “Pen said you like chocolate, and I mean who doesn’t like chocolate, right?” 

She was potent when she was so close to him, and in one single breath he caught a whiff of her shampoo, before she had flitted over to her side of the desk that sat opposite his, where Morgan once sat. Noticing his hesitance, mistaking it for discontent she paused, almost spilling her own beverage over the potted plant she kept by her keyboard, scrambling to set it on the surface.

“Y-you do like chocolate right? I mean they had strawberry too, I can switch yours with JJ’s, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind-” She splurged, and her face was much too worried considering it was a matter of a donut, particularly considering he was already eying up the way the thick chocolate was melting in the pastry bag.

“Chocolate is great, I love…” He held up the bag to read the label with squinting hazel hues, “Cocoa Caramel delight,”

He had never heard of it.

He had never even seen this brand, but he wanted to quell her nerves even in the slightest. The BAU didn’t have the funds for a new keyboard, let alone time to send her to the ER if she ended up spilling her coffee over her hand. 

She seemed convinced, and he offered her a small smile, not exactly his most enthusiastic, but then again he hadn’t been much of a morning person since he’d come out of prison. He liked quiet, he liked a moment to himself before Penelope called them into the round table for briefing. But she was sweet, too sweet perhaps for the dark nature of their job. 

He could already see it chewing up her perky disposition and spitting her right back out within a year. It happened to the best of them.

But she smiled back at him, a million watt grin that made him think maybe he was being a little cruel. She was still brand new, still trying to make friends and he remembered how hard he tried when it had been his first few weeks on the team. He turned his gaze away from her in shame, reading the way she’d written his name on the cup in a pink sharpie, framing it with two doodle hearts. 

She all but skipped away, sensing he didn’t feel like talking much anymore, and he heard Emily exclaiming she was ‘A caffeine angel sent from the heavens,’ as she handed her the drink. He watched her braided hair disappear down the hall as she bounced over to Penelope’s lair. 

He picked at the cocoa caramel delight with a kind of self loathing he was familiar with, the french vanilla still a saccharine sugar in his nose. 

-

She caught him again; though this time he felt her bristle past his arm, watching the bullets pierce the target paper with an accuracy that only came from fourteen years of practice. 

“Do you reckon you could teach me how to do that?” Her cadence was light and airy, and he had to stop himself from jumping, from slamming the butt of the gun into her nose on reaction, because he knew she meant well, even though she had no idea how damaged he was.

He was still out of sorts from having to look over his shoulder at every second of the day, and he was surprised he was holding it together so far. He supposed shooting the shit out of a target helped.

Because it was just her, looking at him with soft eyes and a smile that could start wars, and he knew she had no idea the effect she had on the walls he’d tried so hard to build in prison. 

She must have mistook his look for annoyance, because she was quick to fumble with her own loaded gun, taking a step back in retreat, worried that she crossed some line she didn’t know he’d drawn.

“Or I could get Luke to show me, I didn’t mean to bother you, I just am really a shit shot and I know that’s pretty useless in the field-” It wasn’t until he flicked the safety on and took a step to follow her did she look at him again hopefully. 

“No, I’d be more than happy to show you,” He cleared his throat, setting his pistol in its holster and stepping behind her as she lined herself up for the fake body meant to resemble an unsub, “We all have to start somewhere. Show me your form,” 

She raised her arms up in front of her, aiming for a few seconds for the spot in the centre of the chest cavity, her finger reaching up for the trigger. 

She shot once, her face hardened for the first time he’d ever seen, and they both watched the paper rip about half a foot down the unsub’s leg. 

“See, in my head it’s hitting dead centre and then by the time I shoot it’s wiggling all over the place,” She explained, scratching her neck and frowning at the paper body, “I don’t suppose unsubs are willing to stand still and wait while the rookie figures out her shot,”

“Your hips are perfect, wide stance means you get more stability against the ricochet,” She tried not to simper at his words, or the way he sidled up behind her, his hands coming up to her shoulders as if he’d known her for years, as if JJ hadn’t told her how much he hated other people’s germs, “It’s in your shoulders you’re losing balance, try relaxing a little,”

But she couldn’t not when he was breathing down her neck, rubbing those long fingers over her shoulder blades trying to get her to straighten out her posture, hoping he couldn’t feel the way her chest rattled with nerves. 

“Relax,” He reminded, trying not to chuckle when he felt her shake her arms out as a means of hiding the way her skin had warmed under his rough touch, “You know, my unit chief taught me how to shoot. I wasn’t at all good at it when I first started,”

“Oh really?” She asked, her breaths feather light as he reached around her and adjusted her grip on the gun, “H-he must have been a good teacher,”

“He was the best,” Spencer agreed, brushing off the fact she was all but putty beneath his hands, “Three steps for the perfect shot; front sight, trigger press, follow through. Always keep your head forward, always keep your dominant finger ready, and wait until you’ve shot to drop your stance,” 

She looked up at him in admiration, and her soft smile was back as his own musk of laundry detergent and chamomile soap encompassed her as his arms did. 

He brought one of those big hands to the back of her head, moving her with gentle ease to look back at the target, a slight chuckle in his voice as he spoke: “Focus, what’s step number one?”

“Front sight,” She echoed him, fixing her shoulders with determination as he dropped his hands and stepped away from her. Taking a deep breath, she murmured to herself under her breath the next step as her forefinger rested over the trigger. She pulled it after a moment of courage, and froze in spot as she watched it hit where the stomach would sit. 

Not a perfect shot, but certainly a lot better than she had been doing. 

Her eyes widened behind the thick protective glasses, and her hands became fists above her head as she squealed in delight. 

“Did you see that- did you see!” She yelled over the sound proof ear muffs they both wore, and he was quick to grab the gun out of her swinging arms, clicking the safety on for her before she could end up blowing a hole in the ceiling. 

“Very good, give it a few months you’ll be a natural,” He complimented with a smile as she clapped her hands in glee, buzzing on the spot as if she’d chugged five energy drinks or doubled up on her coffee for the day. 

He tried ignoring the way his chest warmed seeing her so happy because of him, especially when she looked at him like that. 

--

“You said you needed those files, Dr Reid,” She’d appeared again, like she always did, and he had barely enough time to glance up from the paper he was already inspecting before he was hit by the perfume again, and he looked up to see two bright eyes watching him hopefully. Her arms were piled high with easily a box full of folders he had asked Anderson to find for him, and he saw the way she strained slightly to keep them held tight. 

“Jesus! Let me help you,” She prayed he couldn’t feel the way her heart thumping against the manilla folders as he leaned over to take them out of her grasp, the way her eyes fell to his light smattering of facial hair as his lips were little more than a few inches from hers. Even when his hands brushed hers, and he seemed to realise she was staring, watching her scramble to look somewhere else other than his amused eyes, embarrassed he’d caught her, “Thankyou. And just call me Spencer,” 

“Thankyou,” She echoed, shaking her head with a girlish smile on her face, her cheeks warm with humiliation, “I mean you’re welcome, any time,” 

For the sake of her self preservation he waited until she turned around to smile to himself, pretending he didn’t see the way she muttered under her breath, or that she almost walked straight into the filing cabinet on her hasty exit out of the office. 

“Seems like you have a shadow,” Emily’s voice met him as he heard her heeled footsteps approach, and they both watched their newest team mate almost bump right into JJ as she kept her head down, stroking her hair nervously, “She was super excited to meet you when you were away, said she went to one of your guest lectures you did with Hotch a couple years ago,”

His brows shot into his hairline, something warm flourishing in his chest when he saw her peek back to see the two of them watching her, and she immediately darted for her seat for an excuse to turn her back to them. 

Spencer smiled again, running a hand through his curled locks as if he was trying to think of something else other than the joy that had over come his features. 

She certainly was charming, in an incredibly girlish way, and he wasn’t the only one who thought it. He hadn’t heard Penelope giggling so much since Morgan had left, nor did he miss the way Rossi and Emily watched her darting around in the field, chasing after her as if she needed one of those leashes people had for toddlers.

Or the way Luke had had to talk her out of bringing a stray cat back to the BAU just two days ago because ‘it looked sad and lonely’. 

She was only eight years his junior, and yet he felt like the job had made him too hard, too mature, too tough against a softness like hers.

Girls had never really been interested in him, at least not for him as Spencer Reid, not as SSA Dr Reid. He had the occasional fling, even Maeve in the grand scheme of things had been a budding romance at best, and just the thought of Cat Adams viper-like eyes had him shuddering. 

He barely wanted anything to do with women at the moment, at least that was what he’d told himself every night he’d been fighting for his damn life in prison. 

But it was almost too easy to feel this way about her, like he couldn’t drink in her sweet smell or even sweeter voice fast enough, or bathe in her gaze that melted like rich chocolate when he took a glance her way. 

He didn’t bring it up with her until they were the last few people filing out of the office. 

“I can drive you,” She chirped, almost dropping the contents of her bag everywhere as she rooted for her car keys, and before he could protest, because it was like all he could see now was how eager to be around him she was and he wasn’t too sure he could keep himself from opening pandora’s box, she jingled her keys, that of course had crochet bluebells hanging from them and all but danced past him into the elevator. “Come on, you can have shotgun,” 

“I’ll be the only passenger, doesn’t that mean I automatically have shotgun?” He asked, following behind her as she stood in the elevator with a beaming smile, her finger clicking the ground floor button a bunch of times even though it made no difference how fast the doors closed. 

“Well, yeah, but it’s going to be the best shotgun you’ve ever had. I’m talking you can be Miss Daisy and I’ll be your Morgan Freeman,” And as if her spirit was infectious, he shook his head with a hidden chuckle.

There was a minute of silence between the two as she played with a loose thread on her cardigan, and it was then he took the chance to ask her the question that had been burning on his lips all day. 

“You didn’t by any chance go to University of Pennsylvania, did you?” Spencer asked, noting the way her eyes fell to the floor and how she licked her lips nervously.

“Yeah,” She replied cautiously, fingers clenched tightly around her keyring, “I know it’s not Caltech, but it was pretty good-”

“Didn't you see my lecture with Hotch?” He asked, and his smile widened tenfold when her hands slapped over her cheeks that burned with horror, moving quickly up to cover her eyes, “Little birdy told me you were quite excited to meet me-”

“Oh, Emily,” She groaned, burying her face in her palms, avoiding his teasing expression like the plague, “I knew, I knew she was going to tell you, I’m surprised she didn’t tell JJ first, unless she did and our whole team know I was some crazy girl who liked the FBI agents so much she switched her major,” 

“You switched your major for me?” He asked incredulously and he only laughed harder, one of the first times since he’d come home, when she groaned louder, turning away from him entirely. 

“Shut up, I did not swap my major for you,” She bit back, and she finally met his gaze, her expression an embarrassed wince, “I just… liked the material. You were very compelling,”

“Did you have a poster of us?” Spencer wanted to stop teasing, knew he was being a little cruel, but how could he resist when she shrieked in between laughter, shoving his shoulder with mortification.

“No,”

“Did you kiss Hotch’s picture before bed like an obsessive fangirl?” 

She gestured to him vulgarly as they left the elevator and headed for the car park, and it made a huge difference to the usual adoration she watched him with, but maybe, he thought, it made him like her even more. 

“No more shotgun for you, you’re going in the trunk like an old rug,” She snapped, though he could tell she was still horrified by the way she avoided his delighted hazelnut gaze. 

“Like an old rug?” He feigned hurt, but when they sat in her car, she finally looked over at him with something vulnerable and yet affectionate, like he’d seen her for all she was worth. He reached over the console to squeeze her hand gently, not missing the way her palm clammed beneath his and she struggled for words, so he continued for her, “That’s really no way to talk to your idol, you know,” 

Spencer swore his chest felt lighter than it had in months watching her laugh like that.

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