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#I know you know where the divisions are

alexandriteobscuraarchive · 2 years

Note

~Look into my eyes (for DxTA obviously!)

Send “Look into my eyes” & My Muse will BOLD What They See!

I see:

You’re:

You:

#I could separate some of the verse related stuff/outcomes with italics but..nah #plus the other responses to this meme didn't have that distinction; the people who know know #I know you know where the divisions are #ahhh the possibilities...ahh the growth...;;;;;;#;;ask response: ic danny #;;ship musing: dannyxthe assistant #;;ask response: with squiggles

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mlobsters · 1 month

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see the danger, always danger endless talking, life rebuilding don't walk away

digital painting, 10 hours - drawing video below

song: atmosphere by joy division

my other spn art

kim manners et al were all about the light through the slats in this episode. i painted another scene from this ep that also had this type of lighting - when john is telling sam and dean he has to leave without them. different location, same kind of light. i feel it though, it's good stuff. i'm also a sucker for it. hence drawing it twice!

#supernatural #myart #spn fanart #supernatural fanart #digital painting #spn 1x16 #sam winchester #photorealism #drawing videos #art process #words from atmosphere by joy division as well #blood #spnart #spn #this is the scene where meg has them tied up and there is a line that i like but it was too clunky because meg says it #aka the reason i'm doing this is same as you: loyalty. love.#forever taking liberties with sam's eyes and adding the different colors that i know are there but only show up in brighter lighting :p #looking like he's gonna cry neon green tears SURE WHY NOT!

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thenecropolix · 6 months

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I cannot stop pondering a potential Jekyll and Hyde au with Sasha.

I never read the orginal book, but having dome some digging, my understanding that Jekyll was trying to separate his "good" from his "bad" but we know at the end of the day, he and Hyde were always the same person, it was a matter of circumstances (at least how I see it).

The story behind his character interested me because it involved a teacher Stevenson knew that was found guilty for a murder, a man that from Stevenson's perspective "appeared" to be normal in how he conducted himself; naturally, I suspect the entire character of Jekyll/Hyde is based on the concept of perception and how one conducts themselves around different people (you wouldn't act around your coworkers the same way you'd act around family for instance). To one group of people, you appear as one way, but then imagine their surprise that's not how you act around a different set, as if you were a totally different person.

Such thinking has led me to the thought that the concept of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde could be applicable to masking, stimming, and emotional regulation in neurodivergent people. Given that neurotypicals expect us to conduct ourselves according to their standards and detest the way we express ourselves despite its benefits, we are forced to put on a facade that pleases them to the point that people question if we're on the spectrum to begin with.

Considering how Autistic coded Sasha Nein is, I can't help but consider him in a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde situation where the transformation into Hyde is less about indulging in immoral tendencies and moreso the repression of stimming or allowing oneself to indulge in behaviors that are looked down upon by a neurotypical society. To "normal" people, the neurodivergent person may appear beneath the definition of a "proper" person and is treated as such when the reality is their is nothing wrong with them other than they process things differently. I feel that such a subject would be interesting to explore with Sasha's character and the fantastical, gothic nature of the Hyde formula.

#psychonauts #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #i am #having so many thoughts about this #something something #the ostracization of neurodivergent folks resulting in feelings of shame and abnormality #resulting in a division within the person where they feel they must hide this “other” self to maintain social acceptability #ah #I fogot to mention it #but emotional regulation plays a big part of what I have in mind #being unable to react without prejudice due to the intensity of such emotions #therefore the hyde physically represents the so called lack of emotional regulation or having big feelings and not knowing what to do #given his specialty #It would be interesting to see Sasha's “hyde” as a manifestation of his repressed emotions #both the good and the bad #is this completely random #maybe so #but i am going through it and you must bear witness lest I mentally explode from repressing such thoughts #sasha nein #the necropolix speaks

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fiendishartist2 · 1 year

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eaten from the core and out to the skin– mp100

Reigen strutted through the halls of Salt Middle School, passing empty classrooms and bustling club rooms at a brisk pace. As he turned an unfamiliar corner, he schooled his worried expression to something closer to irritation. Reigen was on a mission and he couldn't let any weakness show. He came upon the door he was directed to by the woman in the main office.

He entered with a hand on his hip, suit bunching up at the action. Reigen surveyed the small office, eyes catching on the cheesy inspirational posters and self-help books. He wrinkled his nose, ah, a guidance counsellor. Oh god, Mob, what kind of trouble did you get yourself in this time. Speaking of Mob– Reigen spotted his student sitting in the only other chair in the cramped office. His shoulders were brought far up to his ears and his head was hung low. Whatever they called him in for, Mob sure was taking it seriously.

Whatever, Reigen thought confidently, we'll be out of here in no time if I have anything to say about it.

The woman that had called him in sat at a cluttered desk that took up about a third of the small room. She smiled widely, brushing back her black bob behind her ear. Her elbow nudged against one of the many stacks of paper littering her desk.

"Thank you for coming, Mr. Reigen. Please, take a seat." He obliged, crossing his legs and leaning back in his chair. He tapped his foot impatiently.

"Would you mind telling me why I was dragged out of work to be here?" Mob hiked his shoulders higher, curling in on himself. His flat fringe cast a dark shadow over his face, covering his expression. Reigen thought he could see his lip wobble out of the corner of his eye, however.

"Ah- apologies, it was at Shigeo's request. I'm sure he didn't mean to interrupt." Mob asked for me instead of his parents? Reigen narrowed his eyes, lips pursing in thought. Mob never asked Reigen to pick him up from school unless something was really wrong. Last time this happened, Mob was trying not to blow up over the black eye some kid gave him. That day, Reigen had to keep reminding himself that a 26 year old man beating up a 12 year old middle schooler was definitely illegal. Now, seeing the way Mob's face was painfully schooled, like he was just barely holding it together, Reigen felt the same urge to hunt down whoever had done this.

He took a steadying breath, cracking a placating smile, "No, it's alright." Some of Mob's tension dissolved, "But, I do want to know why you called me." He tried, making sure to keep a pleasant tone. The last thing he wanted was to get Mob all worked up about whatever it was he did.

The guidance counsellor smiled, although it was fake just like Reigen's. Just a gesture meant to put the other at ease. She cleared her throat politely, picking up a file from under her elbow and sliding it across the table to Reigen. He leaned forwards, eyes scanning the page.

He landed on a few scribblings in pen that read 'lunch hour', 'truancy', and 'physical altercation' before she interrupted him.

"Shigeo was absent from all of his classes today and was seen by another student loitering in a club room during second period mathematics. As well as-" she picked up the paper, reading with a light hum, "-Ah, here– during lunch hour, Shigeo pushed a classmate, resulting in a dislocated shoulder." She read it off so stiffly, like a judge reading a list of crimes out to a jury. Reigen resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her seriousness. That's what Mob was in here looking like he was on the verge of breaking down for? Skipping class and pushing a kid? Reigen had done much, much worse in his school days– this was practically nothing.

Holding in a scoff, Reigen hummed sympathetically.

The counsellor sighed and put the paperwork down. She levelled Reigen with a tired stare, "As this is the first time I've had to discuss Shigeo's behaviour with a parent or guardian, I'm not going to punish him." Reigen's face softened before he could stop himself and she pounced on the opening, pressing her lips into a thin line. Or maybe this game of social chess was all in Reigen's head and she was just emoting like a normal person. Either way, she continued, "However, due to school policy, I still need to come to an understanding with Shigeo."

Reigen nodded, "Of course," he went on the attack, "I'm sure Mob didn't mean anything by his actions. Sometimes he just gets overwhelmed and-" his good natured smile slipped as Mob joined the conversation.

"I meant to push him. I'm sorry…" He whispered, hands twisting around each other. C'mon, Mob! I'm trying to vouch for you here, just don't say anything and I can get you out of this scot-free! he screamed internally. Unfortunately, Mob never had figured out telepathy, so Reigen's pleas went unheard.

"I skipped my classes too, on purpose." He continued in his soft voice. His warbly confession felt wrong, twisting itself around Reigen's stomach. This was all too serious, why was Mob getting so worked up over nothing?

Reigen swallowed the questions that crawled up his throat in favour of clawing the conversation back to normalcy. He patted Mob's shoulder forcefully, nervous laughter bubbling out of him.

"Such an honest student I have! As you can see, he's much too well behaved for trouble-making. So really, we should just let this whole thing blow over, huh?" Reigen boasted in his salesman voice. Despite directly contrasting Mob's incriminating words, he hoped she would believe him over his student by confidence alone. Judging by her unamused expression, it wasn't working.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Reigen, but multiple students admitted to seeing the fight at lunch. Now, Shigeo," she turned her attention to him. Mob didn't even look up from his lap.

"Why don't you explain to me why you were absent from class?" Reigen crossed his arms, turning to his student as well; he obviously wasn't getting them out of there any time soon. And, he was actually kind of curious about that too. Mob wasn't a perfect student by any measure, but he hated getting scolded and was too polite to break any rules anyways. It was really out of character for Mob to skip a whole day of classes.

Mob didn't react. Reigen couldn't be sure he even heard the counsellor's question at all. The boy sat so still he might have even been holding his breath.

Just as she got ready to try another approach, Mob sucked in a sharp breath, "...I don't know." His voice shuddered. Reigen's mood curdled instantly– Mob was definitely lying to them. There was nothing to lie about in the first place; sure, skipping class was against the rules but it wasn't egregious and it certainly wasn't uncommon. A bead of sweat rolled down Reigen's temple.

"Were you bored in class? Maybe you wanted to meet up with friends or get an early lunch?" She listed off the most common excuses bolder delinquents gave her. She hummed, leaning her chin on her entwined fingers, "How about an emotional reason? Did you feel upset in class and needed to take a walk?" She probed gently.

Mob curled imperceptibly inwards, holding his shoulders tighter to avoid reacting. But, Reigen spotted his clear sign of guilt: Mob's hands were gripping his knees with white knuckles.

"I'm sorry. I don't know." He replied robotically, voice getting flatter as Mob's distress grew. Uh oh, Reigen realised suddenly, this is bad. Mob really doesn't want to talk. He rubbed his clammy hands on his thighs, readying himself to step in and stop this situation from escalating any further.

Before the counsellor could say another word, Reigen went on damage control.

He hummed in surprise, drawing his phone from his suit pocket. In one fluid motion, he flipped it open and pressed it to his ear. He made a show of clicking the 'answer call' button.

"Spirit's and Such Consultation Office. Reigen Arataka, greatest psychic of the 21st century speaking. How can I help you?" He nodded along to the silent client on the other end of his fake call, "Hmm… an important job, you say? Please, calm down sir, of course I can handle it."

As he dialled the theatrics to 10, Mob spared his mentor a glance. Reigen trained his eyes on the wall, only so that he wouldn't break character once he spotted the dried tear tracks running down his student's red cheeks. Reigen widened his eyes dramatically, letting his mouth fall slack in mock horror. His imaginary client was describing quite the gruesome scene.

"Oh wow, that is very serious." He mumbled just loud enough for the counsellor to catch it. Reigen held back a smirk as she let out a worried hum.

Standing from his seat, Reigen straightened his tie, nodding again, "Stay calm and get to safety. My disciple and I will be there as soon as possible. How many victims did you say this spirit claimed already?" As he spouted a bunch of concerning nonsense, Reigen gestured for Mob to follow him. He scrambled out of his seat, thankfully used to Reigen's antics enough to understand the scheme he was pulling.

"Oh my-! Is something wrong?" Reigen flicked his eyes to the counsellor rising from her desk, a hand on her chest. This time, he let his satisfied smirk free, facing the door. Dramatically, he clicked his phone shut. In his grimest voice he could muster, Reigen put the final nail in the coffin.

"Yes. I've just gotten a call about a violent spirit terrorising innocent civilians. It's serious- life or death, you see." He reached for the door handle, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut this meeting short. I'm sure you understand." With that, Reigen threw the door open, steering Mob out of the school briskly. Sure, it was one of his more reliable lies, but it didn't fool everyone and Reigen would rather be caught dead than have to own up to lying straight to someone's face.

Once they were outside the school, he relaxed. Reigen clapped his freed student's shoulder with a relieved grin.

"Alright, Mob, let's get out of here. What do you say to an early dinner? On me." Of course, that would mean Mob's paycheck would be lighter tomorrow, but it's the thought that counts. Money doesn't grow on trees after all.

Reigen stopped his stroll when he realised Mob wasn't following. Instead of falling into step with him, Mob was still standing in front of the school, his face buried in his hands as his shoulders jumped up and down sharply.

Reigen rushed over to him, hovering around his crying student. He floundered; Mob hadn't cried in front of him in what must have been years. He hadn't cried in front of anyone else in much longer.

To his surprise, Mob tipped forward until his forehead rested on Reigen's chest. Reigen froze before placing a tentative hand on the top of his student's head. Gently, he patted down his shiny black hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. Mob mulled it over for a few minutes. Reigen didn't mind; he knew that Mob needed time to think about what he was going to say. Mob had always been a quiet kid and when he wasn't lost in thought, he was speaking his mind– even if the things that came out of his mouth were terribly blunt. So, in the middle of the day outside of the school they had just ran out of mid-conversation, Reigen and Mob stood as Mob collected his thoughts. Reigen really hoped no one would spot them.

"He poured milk on my head." Is what eventually wrestled it's way out of Mob's throat. It was mumbled, like he was both scared and ashamed of the admission.

Reigen didn't understand the gravity he was giving it, but sometimes Mob was just sensitive about violence. No matter how tame or justified.

"The kid you pushed?" Reigen prompted. Mob just nodded, "Well then, I think he deserved it. Serves him right for being a jerk."

He thought that would be the end of it; Mob would wipe his eyes and give Reigen a faint, grateful smile, and then they would be off eating mediocre ramen at the cheapest place in the city. Instead, Mob unfurled a bit, grabbing Reigen by the front of his blazer and burying his face in his chest as he choked and sputtered.

"Woah, kid!" Reigen wrapped him up in a real hug, confused at Mob's sudden clinginess, "Mob, calm down, you're hyperventilating." He struggled to keep the panic out of his tone. Mob shook his head frantically.

"Okay! Okay, Mob, just breathe," Reigen shushed, rocking them back and forth slightly in their hug. He hoped it was comforting, he wasn't very well versed in hugs. Mob wasn't usually touchy like this.

He felt a few teardrops soak into his shirt before he collected himself.

He ran a hand through the back of Mob's bowl cut, "It looks like you got most of it out, but you probably want to get properly cleaned up, huh? How about I walk you home and-" Mob shook his head again.

"You don't want to go home?" Reigen took the resounding silence as a yes, "And you probably don't want to go to the office, right?" Nope, alright, last resort, "Okay, what about my apartment, then? You can get cleaned up and I'll order takeout." He sweetened the deal, "And we can watch those action shows you like?"

Mob thought about it; it had been a while since he had been to Reigen's apartment, but he remembers it being pretty cozy. He liked hanging out there when he was younger and his parents needed his boss to act as his pseudo-babysitter. Reigen always tried to make his few stays there fun. And although 'free' dinners were regular with Reigen, Mob was really hungry from missing lunch to hide in the Telepathy Club room. Takeout sounded like a dream at this point.

"Mhm." Mob hummed.

--------------------------------------------------

Reigen gathered his haphazardly folded pyjamas, placing them in Mob's arms. He shot the boy a smile, but Mob's eyes were glued to the ground, glazed over with a distant frown on his face. He took the clothes with a quiet thank you, padding into Reigen's small bathroom. The door clicked behind him loudly in the silence.

Reigen sighed, scrubbing his face with a hand. Maybe he should get into something comfier as well.

The shower started as Reigen dug around for anything remotely wearable. I hope I didn't give Mob the last of my clean laundry… Just then, Reigen pulled a crumpled sage green ('barf green' a particular spiky haired kid jeered in his mind) tracksuit from under his bed. It didn't have any obvious smells or stains so it was passable in Reigen's book.

He jumped into bed, relaxing into the pillows and dragging his laptop towards himself. As he sent out emails and filled out his calender with upcoming appointments, he heard the shower shut off. A few minutes later, Mob shuffled out of the bathroom, wet hair plastered to his forehead and cheeks red from the hot water (or from crying, his brain supplied unhelpfully). He was fiddling with the hem of the oversized sweatshirt Reigen gave him. It went past his hips and the sleeves pooled at his wrists. The pyjama pants he wore had to be rolled up at his ankles and cinched tight around his waist. Reigen didn't like he frail he looked.

Reigen pulled out his phone, rummaging through all of the random papers in his desk for a takeout menu. Just as he sat up to move to his couch, the mattress dipped next to him as Mob settled on the bed. He pulled his knees to his chest. Wordlessly, Reigen handed him the menu.

Once they had their food ordered, Reigen pulled up a new tab in Mobgle, quickly searching through suspicious websites for good quality rips of Mob's favourite shows.

"Cover your eyes, I don't know what kinda ads will pop up." He reminded Mob, chuckling. His student just hid his face in his knees.

Soon, they were huddled around Reigen's laptop, eating their dinners and watching TV. The show was in pretty good quality, but even then, Reigen had no idea what was happening. As he watched the flashy fight scenes, he wondered why kids even liked this stuff. It was just guys yelling at each other and blowing shit up with magic. He realised that might be a bit hypocritical, remembering the magical girl cartoons of his childhood. Kids like to watch other kids wear colourful outfits and fight with superpowers.

Reigen cringed; after seeing what that mentality did to real children, he couldn't watch the show without feeling a bit sick to his stomach. Or maybe it was the two bowls of ramen he ate…

The credits played softly, some woman singing about friendship over quiet piano. Reigen collected their leftover bowls and chopsticks, taking a quick three-step trip to the kitchen to throw out their trash. He stretched, wincing at the way his back popped way too loud to be healthy. As he made his way back, he realised Mob had paused their show.

Reigen hesitated at the side of his bed, before perching on the edge of it next to Mob. He reached out and patted his knee, silently imploring him to talk.

"Shishou-" Mob started, face crumpled in a way that looked painful, "I'm sorry for bothering you." He bowed, "I caused so much trouble today for no reason. I made you come to my school when you could have been working."

Reigen shook his head harshly, "No, no! No, Mob, you didn't bother me. You needed my help back there. What kinda shishou would I be if I didn't get you out of trouble, anyways? Besides," he cracked a smile, ruffling Mob's hair, "I don't blame you for skipping class after what that jerk did."

Mob ducked his head down, wrapping his arms around his knees.

"That's not… why I skipped." He whispered. Reigen stilled.

"No?"

Once again, Mob was tense. He was pulled so taught, he was shaking. The room held its breath for a minute or two as Mob collected his thoughts.

"I wasn't feeling well this morning. I had a nightmare- uhm- about school."

Reigen hummed softly, not wanting to break whatever spell made his student want to talk about what was bothering him.

Unfortunately, Mob held his tongue, falling silent again.

"What happened in your dream, Mob? You can talk to me, you know." Reigen prompted. Mob's face was blank, but his breathing came out in short bursts, revealing the emotions boiling just beneath the surface.

"Do you remember when we had to- to help that possesed girl?" It didn't make sense; why did Mob look so scared?

Reigen nodded. Of course he remembered that awful job; he remembered how he had to sit and watch his disciple put himself in danger while he could do absolutely nothing. He remembered getting in a cab to go home and how Mob refused to look him in the eye the whole ride, but glued himself to Reigen's side. He remembered how jumpy he was and how unstable Mob's powers were for a whole week after. Now, three weeks later, Reigen was just glad they got out of there without incident and they could put the whole thing behind them.

"Asagiri? Yeah, what about it?" Reigen replied flippantly.

Mob flinched.

"When I was in her mind with…" He was staring at his feet, gaze worryingly distant. It looked like he wasn't even present in their conversation– like he was only talking through himself from somewhere else.

"With Mogami," he mumbled the psychic's name, "I was in there for a long time. I think it was longer for me than it was for you."

Reigen stayed silent, rubbing small circles on Mob's knee with his thumb. He hoped his small reassurances were enough to clear that fog from Mob's eyes.

"Um- it was months, actually." He confessed. Months?! How could he have been there for months? It took only half an hour at most for Mob to exorcise Mogami. Reigen barely bit back his questions.

"That world I was in, it was…" he paused, struggling to find his words, "Shishou, you didn't exist and my family didn't either a-and-!" His grip around himself tightened. As his aura spiked, his hair started to float, revealing wide, scared eyes underneath.

"Everyone hated me– Minori hated me and Ritsu didn't care about me and all of my classmates thought I was awful-" Mob couldn't breathe. All he could see as he squeezed his eyes shut was Minori's malicious smile. The smile she gave him when she picked on him, called him names, cornered him in the halls, poured milk over his head. Cold sweat dripped down his face and it was like he was back there, his own blood gushing from his head and over his cheeks. It felt like dying.

Meanwhile, Reigen was getting more confused with each confession; what was this other world Mob was talking about? What does he mean he didn't exist? Were they still talking about Mob's dream? What does this have to do with Mob skipping class?

"I'm sorry, Mob, but I don't really get what you're trying to say?" Reigen said gently. Mob's eyes opened and he startled like he forgot Reigen was even there.

"M-Mogami," again he said it in a hushed tone, "He made a world in Minori's mind. It was like my life here but- but none of my friends were there. And I think my family wasn't either because... I lived alone." He didn't mention how Mogami took away his powers. He didn't know what he would do if Reigen found out what he did once he got them back.

"Minori…" Mob scrubbed his palms over his eyes, drying the tears springing up against his will "She always targeted me at school." 'And everywhere else,' was left unsaid.

"I don't know why, um– why she hated me so much, actually. One time…" His hands twisted in his borrowed sweatshirt, right above his stomach, "She spilled a carton of milk on me. On purpose." He confessed in a hushed voice.

Reigen's heart clenched. So that's what he's so upset about, he thought, relief flooding through him. Just as he started to make up a speech about how that job was over and he was safe, Mob continued speaking.

"A-and I was scared of going to class because…" The cups and plates in Reigen's cupboards started to rattle, "Be-because-" he flinched as a something shattered in the distance, phantom pains sparking on the skin of his cheek. Reigen paid the ruined dish no mind. He barely ate out of them anyways.

"My teachers they would- uh. If I got a-a question wrong… they hit me. Um- hard." Mob's words oozed shame. He hung his head, cheeks flush with humiliation.

It's not everything, Mob knew. It would probably never be everything, if he was being totally honest. Six months of pent up frustration at the world, crushing loneliness, and a hopelessness so all encompassing he thought he would choke on it every day couldn't be voiced in a single conversation. All Reigen needed was context right now, Mob told himself. There was no need to worry his shishou with details of box cutters and cats and the cackling laugh of high schoolers.

He threaded his fingers in his flowing bangs, "I know it's not real," he reassured himself, "But it's still so- it makes me feel so-" he floundered, mouth popping open and closed.

"Scared?" Reigen supplied weakly. This whole conversation made him feel like that, actually; scared and weak.

Mob finally looked him in the eyes and the open desperation could have made him cry. He opened his arms and Mob fell into him.

“I had a dream about it last night…” he croaked, “I co-couldn’t calm down all day. I was scared of hurting anyone s-so I hid in the club room instead of going to class.” Mob’s voice broke, “I’m sorry.” He whispered. Whether Mob was apologising for breaking the rules or for keeping this a secret from Reigen, he couldn’t tell.

Reigen tucked the boy's head under his chin, wrapping his arms around his small back. Small because he's a child. A child you failed to protect. He counted with Mob, trying to get his breathing under control. Reigen tried to stay present but his own distress was mounting by the second, stirring in his chest and making his heart race.

How long did Mob say he spent in that hellish world? Months? Reigen tightened their hug with shaking hands. Mob was trapped in Mogami’s manipulative illusion for so long with no one to turn to– not even himself it sounded like. Reigen was almost glad for it; he didn’t want to know how Mogami would have twisted their relationship. He didn’t want to think about what kind of irreparable harm he could have caused.

The thought of himself raising a hand to Mob in the same way his teachers had was enough to make him nauseous.

After what could have been hours of hushed voices and panicked sobs, Mob’s aura calmed down and Reigen’s apartment was finally still. Reigen held his student long past the sun setting, no matter how much his back protested the action. He rubbed circles in Mob’s back, talking about anything and everything until he slumped against his chest, fast asleep.

He was in the middle of a rant about the proper way to season pork when the peace was broken by his ringtone. It was muffled, tangled in the comforter they both sat on. He rifled through the blanket's folds, digging out his phone and flipping it open. The time blinked back at him.

"9:13 already?" He mused under his breath, hitting the answer button.

Before he could start up his customer service greeting, the woman on the line cut in.

"Reigen?" Mrs. Kageyama demanded, relief lacing her concern. Reigen's eyebrows rose.

"Oh, hey, Mrs. Kageyama." Reigen answered dumbly. She forewent her usual correction of the formality and rushed into the reason why she called.

"Is Shige with you? He was supposed to be home hours ago and he hasn't been answering his phone." Her tone was scolding but the frantic pace she spoke with gave away her anxiety. Reigen looked down at Mob's slowly rising and falling back as the boy dozed. He still clung to Reigen's middle in a tight grip, sitting up despite his exaustion.

"He's with me. Sorry for worrying you, I didn't see the time." He pinched between his eyes, "It's been a long day, if I'm being honest. Shigeo's asleep right now, but I can get him a cab or something if you need him home."

Mrs. Kageyama answered slowly, a warning just under her words, "Did something happen?"

Reigen winced.

Lying to Mob's parents wasn't something he loved doing- they already put so much trust in him with their son and violating that trust made his skin crawl. They could also be pretty intimidating when they wanted to be, especially his strict mother. What had happened on the Asagiri job was horrible and keeping that from Mob's parents didn't sit right with him.

On the other hand, Mob seemingly hadn't told anyone else about it yet. If his student wasn't comfortable telling his parents about Mogami, then Reigen had no place doing it for him.

"Nothing drastic. Just a bad night's sleep, I think," he stretched the truth. "He's hanging out at my place." Reigen let out a hollow laugh, "Don't worry, he's been fed. We were just eating ramen and watching TV before you called."

"I wasn't criticising you, Reigen." He could hear the smile in her voice as she teased him, "I'm sure you boys had lots of fun. Just make sure he hasn't been cursed or whatever it's called."

His smile strained. Sure, Mob hadn't been cursed by a spirit, but another kind of heavy presence hung over him. This was something they couldn't just exorcise in a second– something that would follow him around for the foreseeable future.

"I'll have you know, Mrs. Kageyama, I'll be 30 soon. I wouldn't exactly call myself a 'boy' anymore." Reigen joked weakly. It was hard to keep his festering guilt out of his voice.

She hummed sarcastically, "Goodnight, Reigen. Let me know when Shige wakes up." Reigen agreed and quickly hung up. He snapped his phone shut as quietly as possible, letting out a sigh into the remaining silence.

Judging by the time and the heavy weight of Mob's head on his shoulder as the boy slept soundly, Reigen was sure he wouldn't be getting back to Mrs. Kageyama anytime soon. He shot her a text saying just as much.

Gently, Mob's fists were released from the sides of his tracksuit. Reigen tucked him in, slipping off of the squeaky mattress. He nabbed his laptop from where it lay forgotten next to Mob's head, settling onto his couch and resting it on his stomach. The couch was way too small for Reigen to sleep on, but he could handle his ankles dangling off the arm for one night if it meant Mob would sleep peacefully in turn. He reached around under his coffee table, finding a thin fleece blanket with a triumphant smirk he didn't really feel. It also didn't cover his feet.

Reigen fell into a restless sleep, passing out in the early hours of the morning with his clunky laptop pressing into his gut uncomfortably.

The only solace from his endless nightmares, was the soft, steady snores of his student filling the air in his apartment. Everytime he woke, stomach roiling and berating himself over how badly he had failed Mob, he was comforted by that noise.

Part of Reigen knew that it was probably because the boy was exhausted after the day he's had, but a smaller, softer part of him wanted to believe he put the boy's dreams at ease. The thought that Mob felt safe and cared for, at least for now, in his presence warmed his heart– no matter how much he tried to deny it.

Reigen dialled Salt Middle School the next morning, calling his student in sick. He and Mob spent the day walking through parks and eating mochi, instead. They don't talk about their conversation last night, but Mob leans into his space more than usual and Reigen makes sure to smile at his student more; when they part for dinner, Reigen ruffles his hair and Mob huffs out a faint laugh, not bothering to duck away from his hand.

#something something i like when reigen takes care of his kids and listens to their problems #dont tag as anything weird or ill hunt you down. this is platonic i cant believe i have to say that #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #my fic #2 fics in one night? i have way more where that came from baby #i think at this point i have 8? ish? at least 5 are finished and 1 of them has a finished draft that i just need to finish the good copy of #smth you should know about me is that LOVE mogami arc. like love love. im obsessed with it #its just so raw?? compared to the other arcs i think it goes the farthest content wise. like mob gets stabbed lol #only rivaled by the 7th division arc i think. but even then the most violent bits in there are short #i think its so interesting that mob was trapped in another world (that he was 100% convinced was real btw)-#-where he was relentlessly othered and bullied-- esp in the manga! its not just minori- he gets picked on for being bad at sports #-and minori makes it a point to single him out as someone weird and different from the rest of their classmates #its just so. like ik the lesson he learns is that some ppl change and some ppl wont and he has to accept that when faced with conflict-#-but theres no way that other world didnt fuck him up are you kidding me #you just know mob cant look at crows anymore without feeling uneasy. or cant stand the smell of spoiled milk. or gets nervous in class #reigen arataka #shigeo kageyama #mogami arc #mrs kageyama doesnt have a name </3 sorry girl i love you forever tho #mp100 fanfic

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pyrrhiccomedy · 2 years

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Bellefleur - The Stargazer

When Bellefleur was new, she was shade-born in winter, a daughter of La Delenda, that dreaded house of murderous faerie doppelgangers whose every pleasure lies in the destruction of their Other.

Like every faerie since the Division of the Sun, she was damned to never see the Glory.

She is a scholar, now. She put her sword aside. She studies the idiot, sadistic stars that keep her kind imprisoned, and dreams of both brighter and darker histories long past, when she would have been free to save or damn herself like mortals do.

In a brighter history, she would have been an angel.

In a darker history, she would have been a storm.

In this - this broken and miscarried world - her kind are so reduced that she will need a mortal man, some ape, to reach her ends. But she will not be thwarted. No murderer of La Delenda has ever planned a death so vast. She will find a mortal with a seed of promise. She will be the gardener of his soul. She will coax him to the full flower of grandeur, and then - once he has grown so tall he towers above the reach of heaven - she will extract the poison from his petals and kill this wretched history.

She will guide his hand to the high clear sword that will shatter the chain of being, and he will be the sword in hers.

(What an unexpected pleasure, to fall in love him.)

#I think it's really important to understanding Bellefleur's character to understand what kind of faerie she is #there is another house - La Menage Verglas - that serves the Stranger: one of the special gods of the Wood #by the Stranger's tricksome will every time a faerie is born into La Menage Verglas another faerie is also created #their perfect double - like them in every way - into La Delenda #and their double's absolute obsession from the moment they are born is to kill their Other and take their place #from the Stranger's POV this is great: all of her servants are either constantly preparing for a confrontation to the death #with someone as smart as fast and as talented as them #or they have WON such a confrontation #from Bellefleur's POV it was like being born with a heroin addiction #and laboring towards the destruction of this person exactly like her was the only way to get her fix #she's still white-knuckling through it every day - she's never managed to go three days together without thinking about her Other -#but for La Delenda there's nothing more punk than going 'you know what actually fuck this' and becoming a pacifist #she put all of that murderous drive into getting her phds #she's one of the Wood's foremost scholars now - especially when it comes to the Division of the Sun or the Antelucan world #and now she's managed to escape out into Mundus where she can finally put all that study into action #and WHAT A SURPRISE to be so pleased with the mortal man who is the linchpin of her plans!#she means him no harm - her feelings are no impediment #she means to help him succeed beyond his wildest ambitions #his ascension to godhood is just a part of her plans #how fortunate to find in him a genuine lover and partner #he's feral and she thinks that's just so great #heretic #dice matters

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victorluvsalice · 20 hours

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-->And hooray, I can finally have my food sale! I promptly had Smiler set up outside and restock the table (with minty mocha cupcakes, banana split waffles, artful foccacia, and garden pizza) before starting their sale, calling out to any passers-by to check out their wares while Victor and Shadow continued working on Heel training. And seeing this, I got an idea for how Alice could get HER New Skill Day Skill – specifically, I sent her to take some pictures of Smiler at the stand! (And Shadow spinning around chasing her tail nearby.) Because she wasn’t QUITE at level 5 Photography skill yet, and what better time to max out that mini-skill than New Skill Day? :D She got some good shots of Smiler in full salesperson mode (probably gonna put one up on the wall in the house – or maybe in the store?), then went to chat with Victor for a bit as the first customer of the day walked up to see the wares –

Morgyn Ember! Who I did NOT recognize immediately in their hot weather wear because they’d traded their curly locks for a giant bun and their iconic red coat for a red shirt and black shorts. O.o They started chatting with Smiler about the food available (Smiler, as usual, becoming their good friend up on introducing themselves), while Victor finally finished teaching Shadow how to heel (nice) and followed Alice into one of the vet treatment rooms to give her a little serenade. XD I had Alice respond by taking some pictures, including of him and some cute posters around the room –

And THAT knocked her over the edge, maxing out Photography at level 5 and getting her the New Skill Day skill she needed! w00! With THAT settled, I had Alice go hang out with the pets in the front of the vet, and sent Victor to go get a burger from the local food stand by the big old fountain (which he ate with one of the local strays). But how was Smiler doing hawking their goodies during all this?

-->Pretty darn good, honestly! After a long chat, Morgyn ended up buying a minty mocha cupcake, with Brant Hecking stopping by to grab a slice of garden pizza right afterward. Brytani Cho (that celebrity Smiler slightly dislikes for reasons unknown to me) then showed up and started being annoying, trying to hype up all her fans in front of the stand, but fortunately she was mostly ignored, and sales continued. Roxana Lopes popped by for a cupcake and Morgyn came back to snag some banana split waffles (and an autographed picture from Brytani, so I guess her hyping did work a little).

After that, there was a break in the action, so I quickly checked up on Victor and Alice and had them trade places – Victor returning to the vet lot to check up on the pets (he also got to know Butter, one of the other patients, who was a big cute fluffy Loyal dog) while Alice went to grab a haddock sandwich from the food stand (the eating of which taught her how to make it – was a little surprised, but hey, new recipe). Once I was certain they were good, it was back over to the stand to convince people they deserved snackies! Brytani decided to actually BUY something after Smiler hit her with a sales pitch and picked up some garden pizza, with Brant coming back in for another slice of same, and Catarina, Justin, Morgyn, and Brent all got some cupcakes before the sale ended. Final totals were six minty mocha cupcakes, three garden pizza slices, and one serving of banana split waffles sold for a total of $249 profit! Not bad – I like how the sale breaks down specifically what was sold, instead of making me keep track of it. Seems like cupcakes might be the way to go for future sales... Plus Smiler got TWO levels of the Entrepreneur skill from the sale, meaning they completed New Skill Day upon finishing it! w00! That’s what we like to see!

#sims 4 #the lazy save #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler always #food sale time!#aka where most of the pictures in this update went #I was hoping to get the pineapple pizza set out too but no luck #but on the other hand maybe that would have been too divisive :p #but as you can see Smiler had a good sales day #took a little bit for everything to ramp up #but once Morgyn made their first purchase the sales kept coming #this was rather fun honestly :)#Victor and Alice got their dinner and kept an eye on the pets while Smiler took care of the crowd #and they made a nice little profit on a bunch of cupcakes and a few slices of pizza #and everybody completed New Skill Day in the process #how can you not like that?#okay maybe Brytani Cho trying to get everyone to focus on her wasn't great #but still :p #and I really like that picture Alice got of Smiler having just opened up the stand #feels so them you know? XD #think I'm going to enjoy having this in my game :)#queued

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corpsesoldier · 1 year

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I don't find ellie's motivations during tlou2 that opaque tbh. like yeah the revenge quest drags and you're exhausted at the end of it and tired of witnessing the bloodshed. I'm pretty sure that's the reaction the game is trying to draw out of you (I died during the confrontation on the beach because I didn’t want to choke abby so I stopped mashing buttons lmao). but ellie's determination to see it through is, I think, another expression of her survivor's guilt.

I think ellie is, fundamentally, someone who is living in the blank pages past the end of her story. riley gets bitten and ellie doesn't die. tess gets bitten, sam gets bitten, and ellie doesn't die. she thinks she has a chance to create a world where that won't happen anymore, to anyone, but joel saves her and she doesn't die. she's left to navigate the aftermath with no sense of purpose. she's just supposed to keep going, and she's doesn't know how.

and then joel is killed in front of her and ellie doesn't die. again. everyone I've cared for has either died or left me. everyone fucking except for you. ellie struggles with what joel did to and for her, and ellie is allowed to leave him, because she knows joel won't ever leave her. she thought she had time to come back to him. to figure out all that out. she hadn't forgiven joel yet, but she wanted to try. and then suddenly all that possibility is gone.

I think the revenge quest is partly a way for ellie to align herself with joel posthumously. now that she doesn’t have the option to heal and grow her relationship with the living joel, she engages instead with his legacy. we know the kind of man joel is (was?), and so does ellie—violent, vengeful, often selfish. the kind of man that regards the necessity of violence with equanimity. in joel's absence, ellie molds herself in his image. this is what joel would do, she thinks. if it had been me, she thinks.

and that's to say nothing of the sunk cost of killing more and more of abby's friends on her quest to find abby herself. once you've hunted down one, two, three people who pose you no threat, once you've tortured someone, once you've killed a pregnant woman, what does that make you if you stop now? what does it mean if you decide you don't need to kill abby after all? if abby's death is not absolutely necessary, then what of the violence leading up to it, and the person executing said violence? even if ellie felt early in her revenge that she wanted to stop, that it wasn't worth it, she wasn't ready to confront the reality of what she had done. framing her revenge as necessary let her pretend she was the hero a little longer.

and I think part of the reason she persists as long as she does is because of her lack of purpose, and, frankly, her desire to die. again, fundamentally, ellie lives. even when she doesn't want to. even when she doesn't believe she deserves to. she can't save riley, she can't save the world, she can't even save joel who, regardless of the tenor of their relationship at the time, is a foundational pillar of ellie's life. so what can she do? maybe this one last thing. ellie's own life, her own happiness, isn't important. it was her death that was supposed to be important, but she woke up and it had passed her by. now she's got a cosmic debt she can never repay. I don’t think she expects to come back from seattle, but she also can’t stand to let down someone she cares about again, even if it's only their ghost. what’s her life in the blank endpapers worth compared to another failure?

and ultimately she lets abby go. because she sees lev. she sees abby turn away from her entirely because her boy needs her. and because ellie remembers joel as he was after the bloodshed, the kind of man he was trying so hard to be for her. there's something there about what we leave our children. something about the kind of person you become to protect them, and about the kind of person they really need, and where those modes diverge. what kind of father is abby? what kind of father does ellie want to be? joel at the end of tlou, bloodied, lying to her? or joel standing on his porch in jackson, waiting for when she's ready to come back?

#I don't tend to go here but I've seen this sentiment mixed in with some tlou criticism that ellie's actions in 2 don't make sense #and I don't agree #if you think that its fine obvs idc some things don't work for some people #but I think the way tlou2 inspects joel's legacy by focusing it through abby and ellie is rly interesting #tlou is about fatherhood its just some of the dads are girls. girldads if you will.#how do you forgive your father? how do you repay him?#how do you let him go because you know your child needs a different kind of father?#how do you give them a different world than the one you had to live through?#anyway. this isn't a thrown gauntlet I swear I just had thoughts I wanted to articulate about where I think ellie is for a lot of the game #tlou2 is divisive etc etc I know but I liked it #had some thoughts about it #back to your regularly scheduled necromancers #did a readmore because this got longer than I anticipated #don't want to blow up anyone's dash I know this isnt what I usually post about sdjgfsd #tlou

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feral-radfem · 1 year

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Hey if you're a non-radfem and you want to make a complaint that radical feminist critique keeps getting applied to you because you hang around radical feminist spaces here is my advice: leave.

Honestly, I'm so tired of seeing this shit. Go find some other places to hang out. I don't care that you came here because everyone else kicked you out for being a "transphobe". That does not make it our responsibility to soften our movement and our criticisms so that you feel comfortable in a movement you have no intention of of committing to. You are welcome here on the basis of being a woman, however, if you can't handle the feminist action that goes on in these spaces, then you need to leave. That is a you problem, not ours. I'm tired of hearing y'all whine that we don't coddle you enough and then adding anecdotal evidence of feminist harm or strawmen arguments for why you're justified in doing patriarchal actions were other women are not. There is not a single identifier or life experience you can tell me that is going to make me think that you deserve to be exempt from the same criticisms I would level at any other woman. If you're an adult, you should be mature enough to hear them. If you are not mature enough to hear feminist critique, you need to leave feminist spaces.

if you want to be self-serving, it is completely your right to do so. I've heard a number of you in passing claim that you "don't want to be feminist, you want to be people". Which, while that's an insulting sentiment as a feminist, just demonstrates that the only person y'all care about is yourself. You see being a person as inherently being self-serving and self-centered. First and foremost, it's all about you. That level of selfishness is pathetic and frowned upon in collective spaces. Feminism being one of them.

Just save us all the headache and go away. Y'all are one of the only groups of people on the internet who are able to piss me off in seconds, istg.

#lily responds #literally any of you who do not have a vested interest in the liberation of women refuse to do feminist action and #then still feel entitled to control how these space is function #f*** off. we have enough trouble holding spaces where we can have these discussions because we are feminist in the first place #we don't need a bunch of non-feminist women coming in and telling us that we are hurting their feelings and they #want us to do something about it. we're not doing s*** about it.#if you can't handle the fact that the things you're doing harm other women then stop f****** doing them #don't get mad at us because we're pointing out the damage you're doing and the damage in the messages you're helping perpetuate #you can log off and go experience all the spaces in the world that aren't made specifically for radical feminism #y'all hear that we're here to serve women in the effort to liberate all women and think that means we're here to serve you personally #I may be responding directly to a person regarding this soon but I'm so irritated I can't edit my post at the moment #I will make it clear here that I don't think every woman of the groups I just listed is doing this at all #I think it's a minority however I'm tired of these minority group of women using these identifiers to justify being a shit feminist #or justify why they don't have to be a feminist but should still have all the entitlement to the feminist spaces we create to talk about #our movement. these are feminist spaces first women's spaces secondary #I don't even know how to tag this because the specific people I want to reach is you fucking entitled ass orbiters #you who take advantage of the fact that we are welcoming to any woman to be divisive in our movement when you don't wish to be an activist #in the first place. or you want to claim the title alone and do good action but get us to stop criticizing ur anti-feminist actions #there's clearly enough of you that y'all can create your own gender critical non-feminist spaces. just leave us the f***#alone.#also when you use being gay as a justification for why you shouldn't have to be a feminist you make all us lesbian feminist look bad #there are plenty of feminists who recognized that we are women and therefore benefit from women's liberation #y'all are so f****** annoying #some of my tags may not make sense because I just listed just about every group of women there is realized I listed every group of women #and then erased it because I realized that was a lot of words for no reason so those are the identifiers I'm talking about in my tags

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