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#I know the reasoning is he wanted to end the series on his own terms
kerubimcrepin · 1 day
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The Dofus MMO Timeline : Leorictus Sheran-Sharm, and the curious case of an implied tenuous relationship between the Crepin-Jurgens
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Today we will begin reviewing MMO lore, which was helpfully compiled by yours truly in a video-series. And this post is entirely about the historic events and chronological happenings of the game, as pertaining to Joris, Kerubim, and Atcham.
A Short Summary of Leorictus Sheran-Sharm and the Huppermage Genocide:
The events preceding the game, and the way Leorictus obtained the cursed crown that drove him insane, are quite well explained by this little summary from the Dofus Site:
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Even though he was cursed after these events, the war between Bonta and Brakmar at the time is described as nothing short of a slaughter, which might signal to us that, perhaps, even before his descent into madness he was not a very good man.
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While ending his own life, Leorictus, through some manipulation, took the Ivory Dofus with him, and used it for evil even after death.
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After his death, a horrible civil war and a genocide of huppermages followed.
Kerubim and Joris (and maybe Atcham's) Never-ending Nightmare:
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Kerubim's dialogue on the topic, as well as Joris being on good terms with the huppermages, show us that their opinions did not align with those of the Bontarian masses, which would have, at the time, made them outcasts, or outright put them in danger.
And yet...
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Even though Luis and Kerubim appear in Astrub within the game, we know for a fact that they did not live there until very recently, thanks to multiple NPCs mentioning them moving to Astrub from Bonta — which means that, all this time, despite the horrific events surrounding them, they continued living there.
Personally, I think they couldn't leave Bonta out of a moral sense of duty, to help their city flourish once more, or to try and help the huppermages that could not leave. It is similar to what they do to a greater extent in Waven, and fits timeline-wise, with the presecution ending around the time of Dofus MMO.
This would mean that they moved back to Astrub, a city of great emotional significance to Joris and Kerubim, after decades of civil war and prosecutions. Because living in such conditions, out of a moral obligation, is bound to put a toll on a person, and is, in my opinion, the precise reason they move to Astrub in the first place.
Atcham AKA Real Winners Quit:
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You may have noticed, so far, that I had not yet mentioned Atcham. It is because at the time of the MMO he defected back to Brakmar and went back to a life of crime.
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While it is possible that the author of the wanted poster was simply mistaken, I do want to stress the fact that this game takes place around two hundred years in the future, and realistically, by this point, Atcham would be known as a Bontarian.
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However, he isn't on bad terms with Kerubim, who speaks very fondly of him, and protects him from receiving punishment for literally beating up random adventurers (using his "defending obvious criminals" skills as demonstrated in episode 42 of Aux Tresors de Kerubim. By which I mean I think he bribed this guy).
In my opinion, Atcham just hated the events in Bonta so much that he fled, went back to Brakmar, and is now refusing to come home because he's mad at Kerubim and Joris for putting themselves in danger.
The Move to Astrub:
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Their house in Astrub is the same as it's always been. Warm and welcoming.
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At this time, Joris spent his time guiding new incarnates in Incarnam.
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We know this to be canon even after his removal from the tutorial, because he is mentioned as an easter egg for players who leave without finishing said tutorial.
My pet theory is that Joris left Incarnam due to lack of respect from his co-workers...
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The reason I keep mentioning Joris and Kerubim living together, despite Joris's absence from the home, is that the Zaap to Incarnam is free of charge, and located in Astrub's Temple of Twelve.
It's quite realistic for Joris to be able to make the trip every day. Especially when Kerubim was also able to make the same trip, just for his own leisure. (in my mind, he could even just come and visit Joris...)
Joris and Kerubim's interpersonal relationship:
Since I already mentioned Atcham and what he may generally think, it would be rude not to mention Kerubim and Joris, and the glimpses we have at their relationship at this point.
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One of the things that is most notable about their house, is the absolutely dilapidated state of the attic — which is, usually, where Joris has historically lived.
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It's a bit of a shaky connection, but if it really is his bedroom, or a place close or adjacent to his bedroom, it might imply Joris just gave up on taking care of it, (not that it's quite taken care of in general, even in Wakfu times...) or that he lived in another area of the home.
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Joris is mostly absent, and preoccupied with helping Bonta, despite his attempts to perhaps distance himself a little by moving to Astrub.
He mentions Kerubim once, and it's quite in character: he likes to keep his personal life very far from random work acquaintances.
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Kerubim does not mention Joris or Atcham (save for a singular line of dialogue), but talks about dead people from 200 years ago incessantly. In my opinion, it is his way of respecting Joris's privacy and wishes. (And saving his own skin.)
(Imagine you were a calm, collected professional with an image to uphold, and your parent, who works in the same sphere and sees similar clients, went around telling stories of what you did as a child behind your back... brr.)
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However, a lot of his dialogue reads as very... lonely. So I really doubt he's entirely on board with Joris and Atcham going off on their own, though there's not much he can do about it.
(The second screenshot is included because Kerubim saying "it's good to have someone small at home" deranges me. He is so empty nest syndrome'd it's crazy)
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fullscoreshenanigans · 4 months
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reading through Return to Grace Field arc like
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soulessjourney · 6 months
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Vengeance Trail
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Paring: Billy the kid x Reader
Word count: 4k
Summary: You and Billy had known each other during your younger years. However, following an argument, you departed to forge your own path, leaving things on bad terms between the two of you. Years later, circumstances led you back, having been recruited to assist John Tunstall. As the war drew nearer, tensions resurfaced between both of you.
Warnings: Slight mature themes nothing too detailed, Billy not knowing how to make up his mind
A/N: So this was supposed to be one long drabble but I got 4k words in and wasn't even half way through so I will now be turing this into a small series.
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Your life hasn’t been easy. For years, you had to fend for yourself, even as a young girl. At such a tender age, loneliness was your constant companion until you met him—Billy McCarty, as you knew him. It all began in Kansas, just days after their arrival. His mother, a kind and gentle soul, his rowdy and energetic brother—these were the first faces you encountered. But Billy stood apart, calm and soft-spoken, especially towards you. Little was known about Billy’s father except for his ailing condition upon their arrival. When he first encountered you, you weren't dressed like the other girls in town. No, clad in a simple, dirty white cotton shirt and brown-stained trousers, mud tainting your braided hair, you were as fiery then as you are now.
Billy swiftly became your closest friend after your initial meeting, and the two of you were inseparable. You stood by him during the loss of his father, just as he stood by you when your parents abandoned you for greener pastures. The McCartys became your surrogate family, and you were willing to sacrifice everything for them. After his father's passing, the McCartys decided to seek new opportunities in Santa Fe, extending an invitation for you to join them.
As your new life unfolded in Santa Fe, you chose to assist Billy's mother at the inn, doing everything in your power to ease her workload. You shielded her from advances made by older men and helped restore order after brawls erupted in the bar. But over time, Kathleen and the others grew distant. She met a man who prompted her to move in with him, taking the boys along, while you remained stuck living at the inn, toiling tirelessly to make ends meet. As you and Billy matured, a shift occurred between you two—a growing chasm that led to that pivotal, fateful night.
Standing in your room, you tucked your shirt into your trousers before slipping on the boots. "Y/N, don't do this. You're not thinking straight," Billy urged, positioned near the door to impede your departure. Rolling your eyes, you tied your hair back with a ribbon, keeping the strands from obscuring your face.
"It doesn't matter, Billy. My decision is final. I can't spend my life here in the inn or aiding you in poker, especially after what happened with Carlos," you retorted, arms crossed, referencing the tragic incident that occurred last time you attempted to help him. "This can't be my life anymore. I have no family, and constantly fending off the advances of older men isn't the future I want."
"You have a family, Y/N. We're your family," Billy insisted, attempting to reason with you, taking a step closer.
"You're not my family, Billy. You ceased being my family when you left me here to work for my bed," you replied firmly, brushing past him to retrieve your gun belt from the nearby chair. If there was one thing you appreciated about Billy, it was his lessons on shooting, and you had become quite proficient.
Billy followed closely, his voice growing desperate as he tried to persuade you. Moving around his brother and acknowledging Kathleen with a nod, you stepped into the night air. "Fine, leave. But where will you go, Y/N? You don't know how to survive out there on your own. You'll end up dead in a ditch, and I can't bear to bury another friend," he implored, quickening his pace to block your movements.
Shaking your head, you reached your horse, a striking brown and white paint, and began fastening your belongings. "I'll figure it out, Billy. I grew up alongside you. I'm confident I can handle myself. But I'm tired of stagnation. What happened to the Billy who dreamt of running away with me, exploring the world? You're not the same friend anymore. I'm happy for you and your mother, but I need to discover who I am, and I hoped you'd support me in that," you murmured, pausing your actions, refusing to meet his gaze.
Waiting for a response that never came, you mounted your horse and rode off into the night, leaving Billy behind, watching you vanish from his life.
---
A few years later, you had earned quite the reputation, becoming one of the most renowned outlaws. To conceal your past, you adopted a new alias, known to many as Sadie Bennet, while others foolishly dubbed you "The Wolf," a title you found entirely absurd but resigned to endure as there was not much you can do besides complain. One of your crew members had rationalized the nickname, claiming it suited you because you tracked your targets before striking, often appearing as a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Seated not far from the bar, your hair cascading down your back, you leisurely sipped on whiskey. "Ms. Bennet, I assure you this deal will benefit you. Your marksmanship is unmatched, and we desperately need your expertise. Mr. Tunstall won't rest until we secure your assistance. While we may not match your previous compensation, he's vowed to collaborate with you to clear your name," the man before you spoke. He appeared relatively young, likely just a few years older than you.
Setting down your glass, you arched a brow, sucking air through your teeth. "Mr. Bowdre, I appreciate the offer, but as I've reiterated, a petty power struggle isn't in my best interest," you stated, adjusting the suspenders chafing against your skin beneath the blue plaid shirt. "If Mr. Tunstall is genuinely in dire need, he should make a personal appeal. His absence leads me to believe otherwise."
Charlie ran his hands over his face, growing increasingly desperate, an almost amusing sight. "He's away on business, Ms. Bennet. That's why he can't request your services in person," he explained, using a word that made it seem as though you were peddling yourself to men, a notion that irked you.
"Very well, I'll consider it. There's not much occupying my time currently. I'll head to Lincoln County in a few days. There, we can convene and discuss details further. I have a few loose ends to tie up here before departing," you announced as you stood. Noticing his instant relaxation upon your agreement made you ponder just how desperate they were for your aid. Retrieving your hat from the table, you brushed it against your brown trousers to rid it of any table dirt before placing it atop your head. Tipping your hat, you offered a faint smile before pivoting on your heel. "I'll see you in a few days, Charlie. Ensure Tunstall is present; it would be nice to meet him after your vivid descriptions," you remarked, striding out of the saloon, unaware that accepting his offer would soon thrust you back into the life of a close friend.
---
As promised, you arrived in Lincoln County a few days following your conversation with Charlie. While making your way toward town, you were intercepted by Charlie himself, evidently waiting for your arrival. "Ms. Bennet, welcome! We were starting to worry that you might have had a change of heart," he greeted you as you turned your horse to face him, a smile gracing your lips.
"Nonsense, Mr. Bowdre. I may be many things, but I always keep my word. I said I'd come, and I intend to follow through," you replied, meeting his contented smile as he guided you toward his house. Though the ride had been somewhat lengthy, the scenery was undeniably picturesque. Looking up, you caught sight of an eagle soaring above, circling twice before disappearing. Closing your eyes, you reminisced about the last time you had seen an eagle. It was just after your departure from Santa Fe, when illness had nearly claimed you. Lying on the ground, an eagle had soared overhead, and you'd tracked its every movement before succumbing to sleep. Days later, you'd awoken in an unfamiliar bed, unsure of your whereabouts.
"Mr. Tunstall will be delighted to meet you. We have a few others more directly involved in our operations. They'll also be present to greet you. Don't be put off; some of them relish being intimidating," Charlie's words interrupted your thoughts, eliciting a soft laugh from you. Shortly after, you arrived at a small ranch, where a woman stood waiting. Radiant and evidently excited to greet the man beside you, you assumed she was Charlie's wife, judging by the ring adorning her finger and her joyful expression upon seeing him.
Dismounting your horse and patting her gently, you followed Charlie toward the house. Taking a deep breath, you entered and glanced around. It was a lovely, well-organized home—neither too crowded nor too sparse. Charlie guided you into the living room, where you paused, noticing a group of men engaged in conversation. Some appeared older than you, while one around your age gazed out the window.
"Mr. Tunstall, gentlemen, I present Sadie Bennet," Charlie announced, prompting the men in the room to straighten, catching their attention. The young man by the window turned towards you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Standing before you was your old friend, Billy McCarty, though markedly different from your last encounter. Life had evidently molded him into a hardened man. His widened eyes and the way he uttered your name revealed his surprise and disbelief at seeing you again.
Tunstall scanned you before removing his hat and extending his hand in greeting. "Ms. Bennet, I've heard a fair amount about you from Charlie, including the challenge it posed in persuading you to assist us," he remarked, his smile softening as you firmly grasped his hand. Indeed, you hadn't been the easiest to recruit, having encountered Charlie multiple times before, his persistent attempts at recruiting you finally wearing you down.
"I apologize, Mr. Tunstall. I wasn't initially certain about joining this endeavor. However, Charlie's persistence eventually led me to agree. I hope my delayed acceptance didn't hinder your plans too significantly," you offered, ignoring Billy's intense gaze as he positioned himself beside you.
"That's quite alright. What matters is your presence now, and your skills will undoubtedly be invaluable. Now, allow me to introduce you to the others," Tunstall said, shifting his focus around the room. "This is George," he gestured to the man on his left, "and you're already acquainted with Charlie." Charlie offered a reassuring smile, leaving only one person to introduce.
"Finally, we have B—" You abruptly interrupted Tunstall, turning to extend your hand.
"William Bonney, it's a pleasure to meet you face to face. You're quite the celebrity; I was concerned about competition for the title of most notorious outlaw," you jested, noticing a subtle change in Billy's expression. Unsure whether it was anger or disappointment, you shrugged it off. Arching your eyebrows, you awaited his response, but as he made no move, you scoffed and turned back to Tunstall. "Well, as famous as he is, he certainly lacks manners," you grumbled, crossing your arms, eliciting a surprised cough from Charlie, who attempted to suppress a laugh.
Billy cleared his throat and shook his head. "I apologize, Ms. Bennet. That wasn't my intention. I was merely surprised to encounter a fan. It's delightful to make your acquaintance. Please forgive my lapse in manners," he said, his gaze fixed on yours.
"Oh, I'm not a fan, Mr. Bonney. Just pleased to meet the most wanted man in several counties," you shrugged, distancing yourself from him. "Mr. Tunstall, can we discuss my involvement privately? I won't commit until we've reached mutual terms," you proposed. Tunstall nodded, dismissing the others, and you shot a lingering glance in Billy's direction. Removing your gun belt and placing it on the table, you settled into a chair. "Tell me the details of my role."
Tunstall positioned himself opposite you, crossing a leg over his knee and folding his hands. "As you're aware, there's a feud between Mr. Murphy and me. He's a power-hungry man, exploiting the land and its people. He indebts them, then employs unsavory means to seize their property. I'm sure you're familiar with his tactics." You nodded, feeling a simmering rage within. "We aim to confront Murphy, reclaim the land, and provide these people with the rightful homes they deserve without enduring such hardships. I require your skills to assist in taking him down. You and Mr. Bonney will offer exactly what's needed to dismantle Murphy's corrupt hold."
As you reclined in your chair, Tunstall's words raced through your mind. This man was willing to fight and die for a cause—bringing a better life to Lincoln County—and he sought your aid above all. "Alright, let's assume I agree to assist you. What assurances can you provide? I'm not interested in money; I seek something more secure and dependable," you challenged, noticing Tunstall's surprise, though it didn't shock him, especially given your reputation.
"I can offer you an opportunity to clear your name. As far as I'm aware, you're wanted across at least four counties, three of which have bounties on your head. However, by assisting me and transitioning away from the outlaw life, I can advocate for you. I'll speak to judges, emphasizing your change of heart and commendable actions, working to eradicate those bounties against you," Tunstall proposed. The offer held undeniable appeal. Clearing your name from charges that weren't your doing in the first place seemed like a tempting prospect.
Nodding, you contemplated the offer more deeply. "Very well, I accept these terms. I'll collaborate with you to take down Murphy and assist in your objectives. But it's crucial that you uphold your end of the deal, Mr. Tunstall," you affirmed, running your fingers through your hair. "Now, could you tell me further about William Bonney?" Tunstall's eyes brightened as he eagerly briefed you on what he knew about your former friend.
---
That evening, you lay outside, your coat serving as a makeshift pillow while your gaze remained fixed on the stars. A gentle cool breeze kissed your cheek and nose, while the nearby fire crackled softly. Your eyes flickered open as the sound of footsteps approached, halting beside you as a figure settled down. "I didn't expect to see you roped into all of this," Billy spoke softly. "Honestly, I thought you were gone for good until I spotted your wanted posters everywhere. Who would've guessed you'd dig a deeper hole than mine, but I suppose stubbornness runs in your veins, so that's no surprise," he said, glancing down at you.
Sitting up, you drew your knees to your chest and released a sigh. "What do you want, Billy?" you asked, pressing your lips together tightly. "Don't expect anything from this. I'm here solely to clear my name, not to mend something that shattered a long time ago," you added, redirecting your gaze back to the starlit sky. Billy sighed and fiddled with his fingers, uncertain of his next words.
"I tried to find you. After my mother passed away, and I was falsely accused of a crime, I searched for you. I assumed you'd moved on to another town or two, but you were nowhere to be found. Then I kept hearing about this remarkable woman named Sadie Bennet—how impressive she was, especially for a female outlaw. It wasn't until I saw your wanted poster that I knew it was you. Part of me felt relieved, but another part wanted to keep searching," Billy confessed, joining you in gazing skyward.
"I wasn't far when Kathleen passed. I'm sorry for your loss; she was a remarkable woman," you began, "I knew you were alright, still alive, as people talked about you often. Imagine my surprise when they accused you of murder. I couldn't believe it because you were always about settling disputes, not escalating them to violence. No matter how much I might have disliked you, I couldn't believe those allegations," your words struck a chord, leaving him silent.
"I'm sorry, Y/N," he uttered quietly. "I took advantage of your presence, assuming you'd always be there for me, even when I distanced myself. You were a constant in my life, and I took that for granted. Life turned into hell after you left, and realizing my mistake hit hard when I didn't have you to turn to anymore. Joe was furious with me for weeks; he blamed me, rightfully so."
"Don't blame yourself, Billy. I left because I needed more than the life we had. Our rift was just one part of why I left; it's not solely on you," you said, meeting his gaze filled with sorrow. Wanting to comfort him, you hesitated but then pulled him into a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Stop looking so forlorn, Billy. You're not alone; there are people who care."
Billy wrapped an arm around you, burying his face in your neck, breathing in your scent. "The reason I regretted it so much was because I was in love with you. You meant everything to me, and you showed me what it felt like to be truly wanted," he whispered softly, tightening his embrace. You remained silent, uncertain of how to respond to his confession. When you attempted to pull away, he shook his head, drawing you closer. "Please, just listen. I was so deeply in love with you that my mother was helping me gather the courage to confess my feelings. But then you vanished, leaving me with unspoken words and a heap of regrets."
"Billy," you murmured, pulling back slightly to meet his gaze. "You carry so many burdens and regrets. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. You didn't deserve to feel alone, and I regret leaving you in that state. I had feelings for you too, but when you distanced yourself, I took it as a sign and fled like a coward," you confessed, feeling his hands cupping your cheeks, his thumb caressing your skin. Lost in each other's eyes, he leaned in, pressing his lips against yours.
His lips felt weathered against yours, yet the kiss conveyed volumes of unspoken emotions, making you disregard any roughness. Your fingers entwined in his hair, gently tugging on his brown locks, and a subdued moan escaped as he pulled you into his lap. Breaking the kiss, Billy placed a tender one along your jawline before meeting your eyes. "Let's head inside. It's getting late," he murmured, guiding you along. Pausing just outside the spare room, he kissed you again before ushering you inside, where the evening was spent memorizing each other's bodies and sharing quiet confessions.
---
The next morning, the sun peeked through the curtains, casting a soft golden hue across the room. Stretching your arms, a smile naturally spread across your lips. For once, you felt truly rested, and the usual ache in your back was noticeably absent. Sensing movement behind you, you felt an arm around your waist draw you closer. Memories of the previous night flooded your mind, and you suppressed a smile as you turned in bed to meet Billy's bright blue eyes. "Good morning," you whispered, gently cupping his cheek.
His lips curved into a sleepy smile as he tried to shake off the remnants of sleep. "Good morning," he mumbled back, leaning in to plant a tender kiss on your lips. Pulling away, he nestled his head on your shoulder, his arm holding you tighter. "Do you think we should come clean about knowing each other?"
Running your fingers through your hair, you pondered his question. "I'd say we might have to. There's hardly any believable excuse, especially after last night," you chuckled, placing kisses along his jawline. "But we should probably get up and start our day," you sighed, only to squeal as he playfully rolled on top of you, tickling your sides and eliciting high-pitched laughter.
After some playful moments and shared affection, Billy rolled off and got up, heading to the small bathroom. Lying on your stomach, you observed him dressing and attempting to tame his tousled hair. Catching his gaze, you noticed a flicker of something before he grabbed a black shirt from the wardrobe. Handing it to you, he sat on the bed, tracing his fingers over your exposed back. "I'll head downstairs while you get ready. I'll try to hold them off until you're ready to face the grilling," he said with a playful eye-roll, making you stifle laughter in the pillows.
Eventually, you sat up and planted a lingering kiss on his lips. "I'll see you downstairs, cowboy. Don't let them chew you up," you teased, rolling out of bed. As you started dressing, you ran a brush through your hair, noticing the red marks on your neck and collarbone. Groaning, you tilted your head back, silently blaming Billy. Once dressed, you made your way downstairs, overhearing hushed whispers. Some sounded teasing, while others seemed more disgruntled, likely discussing you and Billy. Walking into the room, you stood behind Billy, resting your hands on his shoulders. "Good morning, gentlemen. How was your night's rest?" you greeted them with a wide smile that faded as Billy distanced himself from your touch.
Charlie greeted you with a small welcoming smile while Tunstall settled into the chair at the table. Positioning yourself next to Billy, you observed him, puzzled by his sudden shift in emotions. "Sadie, or should I say Y/N, what exactly is your relationship with Billy?" he asked. Part of you hesitated, uncertain of what to say, as his expression demanded nothing but the truth. Before you could respond, Billy interjected.
"There's no relationship. Last night, we both had a bit to drink which led to events that should have never happened. I want to apologize for our actions. We have more important things going on, and we should have been more careful." His words hit you hard, and your face contorted into a mix of horror and shock. It was a mistake—this whole situation. Just moments ago, he appeared content waking up beside you, but now you felt reduced to a mere error. Clenching your hands into fists on your thighs, you bit the inside of your cheek to restrain any comments on the brink of escaping.
"Billy is right, Mr. Tunstall. We both got carried away, and I'll ensure it never happens again. I allowed myself to become too vulnerable around someone, and I shouldn't have." You managed to force the words out, your voice strained. "Now, if you boys excuse me, I need to tend to my horse and maybe explore the town to familiarize myself with the area," you grumbled, rising abruptly and causing the chair to scrape against the floor.
Charlie stood up swiftly. "I'll join you. Perhaps I can give you an overview of the town and how everything operates." You nodded at Charlie and left the kitchen, purposefully avoiding looking in Billy's direction. Charlie followed closely, slowing his pace as you reached the horses.
"What truly happened between you and Billy? Anyone who can read a room can tell that you're more than just a drunken mistake. So, what are you to him?" Charlie inquired as he mounted his horse.
Swinging yourself onto your horse, you shrugged. "I thought I meant something to him, but I should've known better than to believe his words. I apologize if things were awkward this morning, Charlie. That wasn't my intention at all." You offered him an apologetic smile as he joined you on horseback. A part of you wanted to cry and vent your frustration after Billy's sudden indifference. You had opened up to him and comforted him, only to be discarded once again. Last night felt too perfect to be true, but it hurt to realize that you had exposed yourself only to be hurt in the end.
Charlie shook his head and regarded you as the two of you began riding towards town. "You don't need to apologize, Y/N. Sometimes people change, and sometimes they change in a matter of minutes. All you can do is look ahead and move on. You're a wonderful and kind young lady. Billy just doesn't know what he's doing," Charlie consoled. Part of you felt weak for letting Charlie comfort you, but his words resonated and lingered in your mind. He was right. You couldn't let this consume you. All you could do was fulfill your duties and keep moving forward.
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zorosimpclub · 3 months
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My Brother's Best friend (001) – Geto Suguru
⊹˚. ♡ Summary: You have always been in love with your brother’s best friend (who also happens to be his roommate) – does he even feel the same way or does he view you just as Gojo's little sister? It doesn’t matter because your brother made it very clear to him that you were off limits since you're his precious little sister… But were you really off limits?
⊹˚. ♡ Content: 18+ only, MDNI – fem!reader, eventual smut, brother's best friend trope, this will be a multi-chapter series!
⊹˚. ♡ Word count: 2.8k
Geto leaned back on the sofa and let out a loud yawn, “Why are you here all the time? Don’t you have your own place?”
You grinned a little. It’s true, you did have you own place but you were always at your brother’s place, which just so happened to be Geto’s place.
“What? I’m just here to spend some quality time with my brother, what’s it to you?”
Okay, you were really only there for your long term crush, Geto but you couldn’t tell him that. Besides, with you constantly bickering like actual siblings, you were pretty sure that he only viewed you as his buddy’s little sister. Nothing more. At least he never really gave you any reason to think that he liked you more than that.
He rolled his eyes playfully, “You’re annoying as hell. You need to get a boyfriend asap so that you stop dropping by so often.”
“Satoru, Suguru is being mean again.” You clung onto Gojo, whining to him.
You weren’t a spoiled little sister, but it was funny to get Gojo to tell him off, even if he often just feigned anger at him. It was your little thing. You would rile Geto up, Geto would say something mean (playfully of course), and then you’d snitch to your brother. Then you’d all just sit there and laugh.
“Cut it out Suguru, don’t bully my precious lil’ sis.” He said flatly but grinned at Geto, shaking his head at both your antics.
Geto sighed, idly flicking through the TV channels. Why was there nothing interesting on? He couldn’t handle having to pretend like he didn’t have the hots for his buddy’s little sister – being around you was pure torture.
“Just don’t get in my way or annoy me when you’re here or you’ll regret it.”
“Oo you gonna spank me, Suguru?”
You burst out laughing, causing Gojo to fake vomit at the thought of his little sister and best friend getting it on
Geto’s eyes narrowed as he lunged for you, a look of feigned rage on his perfectly sculpted face. But all he does is grab you by the waist and lift you up, as if you were an annoying rag doll.
“You little shit! I’ll just throw you in the trash where you belong!”
You doubled in laughter in a mocking way, “Oh no, I’m so scared!”
Geto shook his as he kept you in in his grasp but couldn’t keep a straight face for much longer. Soon enough, he broke down laughing with you. Gojo grinned at the two and went back to scrolling on his phone. This was the norm after all, the touching didn’t bother him much since you play fought with Geto all the time, for years. For years. Sigh.
Your phone rang, disrupting your laughter, “Hey? Oh, Utahime….Yeah? A date? I don’t know, I’ll get back to you on that?” You glanced briefly at Geto who looked a little tense but seemed sucked into whatever was on the TV.
Tapping the ‘end call’ button, you leaned back on the sofa in silence.
Gojo perked up from your side curious as to who you were being set up with (because he’s your nosy, over protective brother) “Oh? Someone wants to date you? Who is it?”
You shrugged slightly, not wanting to make it into a big deal, “That was Utahime, saying something about how she wanted to set me up on a blind date.”
“And you said yes?” Geto asked flatly, still looking at the screen as if he wasn’t really interested.
“I mean, it’s been a while since I’ve gotten laid so maybe.”
Geto did a double take, his eyes narrowing slightly but only slightly – he was careful not to show the jealousy he felt of you potentially going out on a random blind date. He couldn’t.
“A while since you’ve what, now?”
You snickered, an amused smirk gracing your perfect plush lips, “Been to pound town. Got railed. Had sex.”
Gojo let out a fake shrill scream, looking horrified, “As your brother I don’t wanna hear about your sex life.”
You could have sworn Geto blushed a little but he quickly covered it up with a bored expression, “Is that all you think about?”
Grinning from ear to ear, you tucked your hair behind your ears, “C���mon you guys go on dates all the time to fuck, how is this different? Just learning from my role models.”
He looked a little surprised, staying quiet for a bit as if he was choosing the right words to say. Tell me not to go. Come on, anything. Tell me you need me.
“Just… make sure you’re safe.”
Your heart sank a little. Of course. What else did you expect. There’s no way he sees you as anything other than Satoru’s little sister. You felt a little sad but you forced a grin like you always did.
“Yes mum, I’ll use protection.”
Gojo gagged and got up, walking towards his room, “Alright, I can’t take this anymore. I’m gonna’ go take a nap.”
You and Geto both looked at each other for a silent moment and burst out laughing, it was so funny getting under Gojo’s skin. Whenever you wanted some alone time with Geto, you’d just be crass so that your brother gets disgusted and leaves you alone with him, unable to handle any words coming out of your mouth. You were ‘ruining sex’ for him (his words).
Geto shifted a little in his seat, now painfully aware of the fact that you and his were alone in the living room. “Why are you so… open about your sexual experiences?”
You shrugged, not seeing the issue. It’s not like you talking like this was a new development, you didn’t know why he was acting awkward about it but shook it off.
“Why not?”
“I thought women like to keep things like that a secret… especially from other men.”
You thought about it for a moment. True. Some did, some didn’t. Maybe it was weird to be sharing this with someone who you practically grew up with.
“You’re not just other men though.”
He looked a little surprised and then his gaze softened slightly, which caught you off guard – he had never looked at you like that in all the years you’ve known him.
You grinned a little, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” He asked, as if he hadn’t been looking at you like you were the most precious thing to ever walk into his life.
“Nothin’ must just be my imagination.” There was a brief, comfortable silence as you took in his features, “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Ya know? Dating. You went on that date with that brunette haired chick the other day, right? How’d it go?”
He looked away for a second, but then looked back at you. You’d known about a few of the dates he’d been going on with various women. And it wasn’t even like he liked these women, part of him was hoping that if he dated enough of them, he’d eventually feel something for them.
“I mean, she was cute. The date was nice enough. She was just a little clingy when she wanted to see me again after we, you know.”
“Suguru, you’re such a dog, you sleep with them and then don’t call them huh?” You shook your head in disapproval, trying not to seem hurt by the fact that he was sleeping with all of these random women.
He chuckled a little, ”What’s with the judgement all of a sudden? We’re both adults here. I’m just enjoying myself.”
“Not judging. You’re just like Satoru, you guys are really two peas in a pod.” You chuckled too, to keep it lighthearted.
“You really think I’m like Satoru?” He sounded a little offended that you had just said that.
“Hmm, big bro is a proud player, I don’t think you try to be one but you do cycle through a lot of women.”
Geto huffs, turning away from you and crossing his arms in the process as if he was offended. The way he saw it, it was his business how many people he slept with. But you were right, it was true that he tended to cycle through women. Maybe you had a point…
“Whatever. I’m just living it up, like any guy should be.”
You grinned, a grin that made his heart wrench - he was so in love with you but because you were his best friend’s younger sister, you was off limits. “Sure, if that brings your joy.”
Geto looked back over at you. The way you spoke to him with that soft, teasing look on your face made his heart sink. He was beginning to wonder if maybe his dating was just to fill the void that was inside of him. Maybe he needed to find someone he could connect with on a deeper level. He wanted that person to be you, but he knew you couldn’t be. Satoru would kill him if he got within five feet of his little sister like that. He shivered at the thought.
“Like you’re any better…”
You chuckled and feigned hurt, “I don’t cycle through that many guys you know.”
“Are you sure about that? I’ve heard some pretty interesting rumors about you.”
You let out a hearty laugh as you leaned back on the couch, “Pray do tell, what are these rumours Sugu?”
His heart fluttered whenever you called him that, it’s wrong of him to want you so much but he couldn’t help it. How was he supposed to think of something witty to say when you were making him feel warm and fuzzy inside?
“Oh, you know. Some people have been talking about all of the hot dates you’ve been on. A bit of a flirt. That kind of thing.”
“Mhm…” You grinned cheekily at him, “And how is that any different from you?”
Geto grimaced, looking away. You weren’t wrong really. He was just as promiscuous as you. The only way he was different was that he had zero interest in actually having a deep connection with the women he dated. It was just about the sex, the physical aspect of relationships. A temporary distraction.
“Besides, at least I try to get to know the guy… it’s not my fault it doesn’t work out.” You sighed, staring off into space.
He looked over at you again, curiously scanning your face. His stomach dropped when he saw the look in your eyes, he almost felt guilty. He knew that you had a thing for him for years now but he pretended to be oblivious as to not mess with the dynamics of the friendship. Plus he couldn’t risk losing his best friend, Satoru was just too important to him. You deserved to find someone you could connect with in that way, but he never planned on being that person to you.
Feeling his gaze on you, you look back to him and smile slightly but the smile just doesn’t reach your eyes. He felt an urge to reach out and hold your face. He wanted to caress your cheeks, tell you that he loved you and that he wanted to be that person for you. To kiss you. To hold you. But he didn’t, of course.
Instead, he just smiled back at you, “Maybe you just need to date different kinds of guys then…”
“Hm. Maybe.”
But you knew that wasn’t going to work, since the once you desperately craved and wanted was him. You ached to be with him, be in his arms… no one could ever give you butterflies the same way he does.
Geto can sense it. How badly you wanted him. His breath hitched and the smile that once adorned his beautiful face faded. A flicker of pain crossed his face, as this feeling of not being able to be with you and the realisation that you would always be forever out of his reach hurt like hell.
You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. You sat there with your lips parted, staring into his eyes so lovingly, that they did all the talking. All the words you didn’t dare to utter out loud, your eyes said them for you.
His heart beat a few extra times as he stared into your eyes, looking just as deeply into them as you were. He didn’t need any words, he just knew what was running through your head and his heart wrenched for a second time that evening.
Gojo yawned from the door frame of the living room and trudged towards them, “Damn, that was a good nap. What’d I miss?”
Geto broke eye contact with you immediately, feeling as though he had been caught. His eyes darted towards Gojo and he just shrugged his shoulders.
“Nothing much, just the little one being a menace.”
You faked grin and stared at Gojo, it hurt you whenever he referred to you as ‘little one’ or ‘kid’, “Nothing. We were just talking about how Suguru cycles through women like you.”
Geto rolled his eyes at you, “Shut up.”
Gojo laughed as he plopped down next to Geto, “Hey, ain’t nothing wrong with that, aren’t I right Suguru?” He lazily flung his arm around his shoulder, flashing him a grin.
“Right.”
You shook your head, wrinkling your nose in fake disgust, “The least you can do is not be pigs about it – ghosting women you slept with, really? I swear you guys are the worst.”
“If we’re the worst, I gotta know who the best is.” Geto retorted, eyeing you up a little.
“Me, obviously.” You grinned, your eyes gleaming from the banter.
This time, you really did make him really laugh. Your cockiness wasn’t that bad, actually. He found that it was sometimes even endearing.
“You? The best? What’s so great about you?”
“What’s not great about me?” You puffed out your chest proudly, causing Geto flick your forehead with his fingers. “Hey!”
“Well… your personality kind of sucks.”
He smirked a little, the one you loved so much that it haunted your dreams. Oh, if things could just stay light and playful so that you can stay the hell away from those deep emotions that were threatening to bubble up out of you, that'd be great.
You stuck out your tongue playfully, “Hater.”
Gojo piped up from Geto side after typing on his phone, “Suguru, you ready to hit Sukuna’s for predrinks? Nanami is coming too.”
Geto groaned and sighed a little. Maybe one of these days, he would get to stay in this room and spend the evening with you, alone. But today was not that day. He sighed again and nodded his head.
“Yeah, fine… guess I’m ready. Just need to throw on a shirt.”
He would have rather stayed here with just you and Gojo, but he couldn’t deny that the pre drinks before club hopping would be fun too, especially since he needed to get you out of his head. Or fuck you out of his system. Not with you, of course. As fucked up as it sounded, he’d often approach women who reminded him of you height, frame, and hair colour wise in the club and would pretend that it was you when he was taking them from behind.
You took this opportunity to try your luck in going with them, “Hey! I wanna come!”
Gojo immediately shook his head sternly, “No way. I’m not taking my little sister to a place full of horny guys for pre drinks, let alone the club.”
Geto groaned quietly and rolled his eyes, feeling sympathy for you. It sucked that Gojo was so protective over you to the point where you never got to experience the things they did together. He had been to dozens of clubs filled with drunken, rowdy people and it couldn’t have been that bad, right?
“Come on… she’s an adult! What’s the harm? We’ll just keep an eye on her.”
“Satoru! I’m literally 25, why can’t you just let me tag along…” You jutted your bottom lip out and gave him puppy dog eyes, “Please?”
Geto couldn’t suppress a soft smile and felt himself melt just a little, seeing you like this.
Gojo thought about it for a bit and sighed, “You’re not coming to the pre drinks at Sukuna’s, just come directly to the club and bring Utahime or one of the other girls along. No buts. Take it or leave it.”
As much as you wanted to go out with them all night, this would have to be sufficient for now.
You nodded enthusiastically before scrunching your nose at the reflection in the blank TV screen. “Deal! I still need to get ready anyway so this works out well, I’ll text the girls!”
Gojo nodded and flung his arm around Geto, “Alright, we’re heading out to Sukuna’s now. Text me or Suguru when you guys get to the club ‘kay?”
next chapter ->
⊹˚. ♡ A/N: This is going to be a multi-chapter fanfic, which will have smut (the next chapter will be smutty so ;D) will most likely update it tomorrow
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thisreadswhatever · 7 months
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The Chase: Part One
Pretty Sweet
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series masterlist
[description]: jax teller x female reader
[wordcount]: 2.7k+
[summary]: Jax Teller is used to getting what he wants. At least that was the case before he met you.
[cw]: 18+ only minors do not interact - AU, follows some canon characters & themes but timeline is different. otherwise none yet, but stick with me, I have a smutty plan!
[authors note]: this has been really fun to write. thank you so much to this anon for requesting this idea! I plan on writing a good few parts of this.. as I am really loving writing this reader insert. if you have any ideas or suggestions on where you would like this to go, please let me know! I absolutely love getting your suggestions. I really hope you enjoy!
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It had been a long sixteen hour drive. You sighed with relief as you sped past the large wooden slice, “WELCOME TO CHARMING”. You rolled your windows down, the wind blistering through your hair as you took in the warm California sun. 
You turned the music up, attempting to drown out the events replaying in your head that led you here in the first place. 
Charming wasn’t exactly on your bucket list of places to travel. Your parents had split a few years back, after your mom decided she could no longer handle the baggage that came with the Sons of Anarchy MC. Your Dad was an avid member of the Denver Charter, and she soon realised she couldn’t sit back and watch as he grew deeper into the Club. It was a quick and amicable divorce, made easier by the fact you were an only child and more than understanding of why the relationship had to end. You were old enough to see the pain your mom went through trying to make it work, and you knew that it was the best decision for them both. Your Dad on the other hand, never really got over it. 
When your mom remarried last year, he decided to leave Colorado and transferred to the SAMCRO Charter. Charming was his home now. He’d been begging you to visit him for months, and despite the fact you were genuinely pleased that he was happy, seeing him so far from home and content without his family wasn’t something you’d looked forward too. 
Charming was a small place, and from what your Dad had told you, it had never really left the seventies. Denver was the total opposite, a city full of life and people, and ever growing with new expanding chains of business. Even with the freezing winters, there was always something to do in Denver. But Charming? They barely had a population of fifteen thousand. 
You had evaded the trip for as long as you could, blaming college assignments and exams for the reason you couldn’t make the drive. Now that you’d graduated, the excuses had run thin, and it was time to visit your Dad in Charming. 
You pulled into the road of the address he had given you, entering a long unpaved driveway that ended on the outside of a dainty cabin. Your Dad’s bike was parked stagnant on the dirt. You dug your suitcase out from your trunk and walked up the wooden steps to the porch, bringing your hand to the door to knock. Before your knuckles could meet the wood, the door flung wide and your Dad lunged at you with open arms. 
“You’re finally here!”, he squealed in excitement as he grasped you into a giant bear hug.
“‘Finally’ is right. That was a serious drive, Dad.”
He took your suitcase and carried it through the entryway. “Sure is. I’m so glad you got here safely, kiddo. Come on, let’s get you settled. You hungry? I was just about to make some lunch.”
You followed him inside as you observed the interior of the quaint, dusty cabin. “I could definitely eat.” 
Your Dad showed you to your room and then became sidetracked from lunch, giving you a full tour of his new home and the complete low down of all things SAMCRO. He’d explained that the place was owned by the Club, but nobody ever frequented it unless they were in hiding. Your Dad was housed here for the long term, or at least until he could find something he liked better inside the Charming suburbs. 
Once he’d caught you up, he made his start on lunch. You watched as he strolled throughout the kitchen, sitting patiently at the small round dining table. 
“It’s a nice place, Dad. Not sure how I feel that you’re out here all alone though.”
“I’m barely here, kiddo. Spend most of my time down the Clubhouse.” He shrugged nonchalantly as he continued to make sandwiches, dropping a piece of turkey in the process. “I can’t wait for you to meet the guys, y/n. A lot more warm than the ones up in Denver. Some of them are your age too.” He placed the plate in front of you, and you grimaced at the site. Your Dad had never claimed to be a great chef. 
“Thanks.” You smiled at him politely, taking a bite and struggling to swallow down the piece of dry sandwich. “I’m sure they’re great, Dad.”
“So, how’s your mom?” 
You shrugged dismissively, unsure how to broach the uncomfortable topic of the newly weds. “She’s doing well. Mike is good to her.” 
He nodded. “That’s good. I’m really glad she’s happy.” 
It was hard to see your Dad try to be okay with the fact that your mom had moved on. The awkward silence was interrupted by his chair scraping against the floor as he stood up from the table. “Finish lunch and we can head on out. The guys are getting together at the Clubhouse tonight, you can meet them all there.”
You knew an evening with a bunch of Californian bikers was going to be inevitable during your trip. At least you could get it over with on the first night. 
“Sounds great, Dad.” 
You weren’t thrilled to be back in the confines of your car so soon after your long road trip, but your Dad knew better than to ask you to sit on the back of his motorcycle.
You rolled the windows down of your car as you followed his bike through the winding road from the cabin. As you re-entered Charming, you passed by locally run stores and cafes. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think this was a quiet, peaceful town. But you did know better. You knew what the Club’s presence actually meant for a small community like Charming. If SAMCRO was anything similar to the Denver Charter, the underworkings of this town would be anything but quiet and peaceful. 
You pulled into the lot of Teller-Morrow Automotive Repairs, instantly drawn to the huge row of Harley motorcycles lined up on the inner bays.
Your Dad parked up and met you outside your car, telling you all about his new job in the garage as you walked together. He led you across the lot towards a small black door, entering into the SAMCRO clubhouse. It was impressive, a comfortable space with its own bar and lounge area. The place was full of MC memorabilia and pictures from the club’s long history. The furthest wall was centered by two large double doors that were surrounded by mugshots of the SAMCRO members. You had visited the Denver Clubhouse enough to know that room was where the decisions were made.
Your Dad introduced you one by one to several members that were there, a few of which he’d mentioned to you that afternoon. Bobby, Chibs, Trager, Juice and Opie all greeted you with open arms. They were extremely friendly and welcoming, just as your father had promised. The one your Dad called Trager seemed very pleased with your arrival, hugging you for a little too long. Your Dad managed to break the long embrace, pulling you away to start touring you around the building. 
“Don’t get too close to that one, kiddo. He’s a little out there.” 
You giggled as you nodded in agreement, “I’ll keep my distance.” 
You sat alongside the club’s Secretary, Bobby, on a leather bench that faced out with a view of the entire room. You observed as the Clubhouse filled with more members and women, a handful of which were old ladies. The rest of them, very clearly single. Of all the members you’d met so far, Bobby had been the easiest to talk to. He clued you in on some of the Club’s legitimate businesses, Cara Cara and Red Woody Productions. You figured that’s where most of the girls came from, retired and current porn stars. 
It was a little strange, and anyone else may have felt uneasy seeing their father in this kind of environment. But you were used to the life of girls and guns from growing up with a dad in a motorcycle club. The Denver Charter had its fair share of women in and out of their doors, but mainly just bartenders and the odd crow eater looking for a way in. These girls were more forward, scantily clothed, makeup on point, and obviously comfortable with their surroundings.  
Bobby nudged your shoulder, regaining your attention from the party happening around you. “You know your Dad talks about you constantly. He’s so happy that you’re here, kid. We all are.” 
You glanced over at your father, a huge smile forming as he collected a drink from the bar. 
“He does seem happy. Just weird seeing him away from home.” 
“You got a home here with us too now, y/n.” He placed his arm over you and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly, “we’re your family as much as we are his.” 
“That’s really sweet, Bobby. Thanks.” 
He pulled his arm back as he chuckled to himself, his large stomach bellowing as he laughed. “I am pretty sweet.” 
Suddenly, the front door opened and a roar of drunken welcomes filled the clubhouse as two more members entered. The President of SAMCRO, Clay Morrow, walked in smiling ear to ear, hands held up as though he was a celebrity greeting his adoring fans. You’d heard a lot about Clay from your father, mainly that he was the initial sponsor for his transfer from Denver, and some remarks about what an ass he was. Behind him, a much younger member followed, embracing Opie as he entered. He was different from the other members, not totally clean cut, but you could at least tell he had showered. Not only was he bathed, he wasn’t harsh on the eyes either. You watched as he talked with Opie, his hands pushing his long blonde hair behind his ears as he spoke. 
“Who’s that?” You asked Bobby, your eyes never feigning from the man. 
“That’s Jax. Club’s VP.” 
As you watched him converse with Opie, he suddenly glanced your way, locking eyes with you. You quickly turned away from him and back towards Bobby. 
“He looks a little young to be Vice President”, you mumbled as you took a swig from your beer, still conscious that he was looking at you. 
Bobby laughed, “Yeah, well, he’s a Teller. His Dad was First 9 alongside Clay and Piney Winston, Ope’s pops. Jax has been SAMCRO since he came out of the womb.” 
You raised your eyebrows, glancing back over your shoulder. Jax’s attention had now been obtained by one of the Cara Cara girls. She was pulling him in by his cutte, batting her eyelashes at him as she leaned against the bar. 
Bobby watched as you observed Jax. He sipped his drink, amused by your interest. “He’s known for his way with the ladies.” 
You wanted to press Bobby further, but your Dad suddenly was stumbling over beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder. 
“Come on over here, kid. I want you to meet my sponsor.” 
“The asshole?”, you whispered to him as you stood up from the chair.
He snickered back at you, patting you on the back. “He’s having a good day.” 
You were impressed by the brotherhood the Redwood Originals shared. It wasn’t unfamiliar to the Denver Charter, but the way the members of SAMCRO loved one another was palpable. You observed quietly throughout the night as they all ripped into each other with lighthearted banter and spilled beer all over the place. You were conflicted by the fact your Dad fit in so well here. It was painful to know he had chosen this life over one with you in Denver, but you still felt at peace knowing he had found a place in this family. 
He was now slumped over a leather armchair in the lounge, snoozing after one too many beers. You nudged his shoulder, trying to wake him. “I’m gonna head back to the cabin, Dad. I’ll meet you here in the morning?” 
“You sure, y/n?” He tried to stand up as he slurred, but his balance failed him, collapsing back into the seat. “I can lead you back-” 
You chuckled, placing a hand on his head as he closed his eyes, “No way are you getting on a bike in this state. I remember the way.” 
Tig overheard and slid himself beside you, placing an arm across your waist. “We’ll take care of him, sweetie. Don’t you worry. Get back safe, okay?”
You unwound from his grasp, collecting your bag from the coffee table as you searched through the contents for your keys. “Thanks Trager.”
A strange laugh left his throat as he watched you leave, before his face turned straight as a board. “Call me Tig.” 
You said your goodbyes to the members that were sober enough to communicate, and made your way to the parking lot. 
Jax Teller was sitting outside the clubhouse, journal and pencil in hand. He glanced up at the sound of the door opening, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips.
He smiled boldly, in a way that perplexed you. Almost like he was happy to see you, even though you’d never met. He took the cigarette from his lips as he asked, “you’re Ralph’s kid, right?”
“I usually just go by y/n.”
He placed his pencil inside the journal and tucked it snug in his cutte, standing from the bench. “It’s a nice thing you’re doing, coming all this way to see him.”
You nodded, “had to make sure my Dad wasn’t living with some crazed psychopaths, you know?” 
He exhaled, his lips forming a perfect O as the smoke left his lips. “Pretty sure a few of those knuckleheads could pass for psychotic”, he teased. His mouth pulled into an infectious smile, and you couldn’t help but smile back. 
Jax walked closer towards you, your bodies now inches apart. He held out an open pack of cigarettes, prompting you to take one. You shook your head, declining the offer.
 “And what about you? How’s your level of sanity?” 
Jax hesitated. “A work in progress.” 
You smiled politely as you walked past him, making your way to the car. “Anyway, I was just leaving. Was nice meeting you.” 
Jax’s brow creased in concern, “you heading to the cabin on your own?” 
You looked over your shoulder to see him pacing behind you, flicking his cigarette to the cement.
“My Dad’s not exactly in riding order.” 
“I can take you back.” 
You stopped outside your car and turned to him, scoffing at how forward he was. “I met you thirty seconds ago.”
“So?” He shrugged. 
“I don’t really think that’s appropriate.” 
“I’m not asking to get in bed with you, y/n. You can ride the Harley with me and I’ll leave the second you’re in the cabin.” 
You opened the car door, sliding into the seat. “Not gonna happen.” 
“I won’t lay a hand on ya, darlin’,” he raised his hand up, smiling, “scouts honor.” 
You pressed your lips together, suppressing yourself from giggling at his innocent gesture. “I don’t ride bikes.” You affirmed. 
Jax cocked his head at you, confused at the statement. “Denver girl’s scared of bikes?” 
Your eyes rolled at his assumption. “No offense, but I just met you. I’m not sure my safety is your concern.” You shut the car door, realising your window had been left ajar from the way there. You wanted to curse aloud that the good Californian weather enabled the opportunity to ride with the windows down.
Jax didn’t push further, nodding his head as he watched you settle into the driver's seat. “No offense taken.”
Jax leaned his head into the open window, resting his arms on the roof of the car. You turned the ignition, letting the engine roar to life. “Nice to meet you, Jax.” 
“You too, darlin’. Will I see you again?” 
You were looking directly at him, your faces parted only by the frame of the window between you. “I’m here for the week, darlin’.” 
His lips pulled from ear to ear, smiling playfully as you put the gear in reverse, forcing his hands off the car as you pulled out of the parking lot. You peaked in the rear-view mirror, finding Jax still watching you drive away into the Charming night.
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lolomidi · 4 months
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The Price of Entertainment: An Episode-By-Episode Analysis of Alastor's Facade
I don’t think any character in Hazbin Hotel has been discussed as much as Alastor, and it’s a testament to how much the writers put in his character that the mystery of his intentions, past, and contract have been so debated on.
There are some takes I vehemently disagree with, but something a lot of people seem to have settled on is that Alastor is, behind his massive ego and cool-headed persona, insecure about his place in Hell after his long “sabbatical.” I want to do an episode-by-episode analysis of Alastor’s behavior and how Season 1 shifts our view of him from an unquestionably powerful Overlord to something with more depth, and while I won’t be speculating on who owns his soul and how he’ll break that contract in those post, I will take a guess at the future of his character in a narrative sense. I will also implicitly be addressing my issues with some of the conclusions others have made, or at least playing devil's advocate.
NOTE: I want to clarify that none of this is meant to depict Alastor as some poor woobie. He’s still awful. He’s in Hell for several reasons and being a serial killer is only one of them. Rather, I want to analyze what is shown to us about him, and how those story beats can be used to determine where he’ll end up by the finale of the series.
ALSO NOTE: I haven’t followed all of VivziePop’s comments outside of the show about the characters, and it’s possible that certain details have been changed between the release of the pilot and the show, so take any mentions of what hasn’t been explicitly depicted within the show with a grain of salt.
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Part 1: Recap Analysis
This section will consist of commentary regarding Alastor's appearance and behavior in the given episodes, with retrospection based on new information given in later episodes if needed.
“Overture”: Alastor is pretty one-to-one with his depiction in the pilot in the first episode. He’s snarky, open about his sadism, but helpful if begrudgingly so. Interestingly, he’s able to put together a well-edited, if tonally awful, commercial, and probably could have done better if he weren’t intentionally being an ass about it. From the finale we know that he and Vox likely used to have a more magnanimous relationship, and it’s likely that he picked up some tools of the digital trade in that time despite or before being turned off completely by it.
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“Radio Killed the Video Star”: Vox effectively plays heel for Alastor this episode as we continue that first impression of the Radio Demon. We spend a good time showing off the former’s power and how far his roots have spread throughout Hell’s society, only for Alastor to effortlessly trounce him and steal from his audience, despite being gone for so long and his position in Hell less stable. This indicates that Alastor does still have pull, but at the same time that his position in the hierarchy of Hell is being contested due to the length of his absence. He deals with it easily here, but we’ll see in subsequent episodes that things aren’t as smooth as they first seem.
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“Scrambled Eggs”: In terms of the eggs, there’s not much to talk about. He begrudgingly accepts Vaggie’s request to get rid of them “humanely,” but brings them back to the hotel after they prove to be useful spies.
More importantly, we get our first small hint that Alastor’s ego can be bruised when Carmilla doesn’t humor him during the meeting between Overlords. Now, I actually disagree with a lot of the takes on this episode in that I think it indicates that at least some of Alastor’s views and need to prove himself as a powerful Overlord are the result of self-delusion. Yes, he does need to reestablish himself as a person not to be messed with after being gone for so long, but I think it isn’t as bad as some are making it out to be, which makes his behavior in later episodes more strange and excessive if anything.
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Carmilla, who mind you is a busy and stressed woman trying to hide the fact that she’s successfully murdered an angel, hits his ego by not caring where he’s been (something he wouldn’t have revealed in the first place), but she also welcomes him back, which is more than you could say to Velvette and by extension the Vees. And minutes before that, Zestial, who’s probably the highest on their totem pole, does go out of his way to meet with Alastor and inquire about where he’s been. Alastor himself gets over the slight pretty quickly and has no issue contributing to the meeting. Overall, he isn’t necessarily terrifying other overlords, but he still has an established place with them and they do seem to get along well enough. He’s “part of the group” unlike the Vees, who are treated more like upstart outsiders.
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I also want to point out that despite Zestial likely outranking Alastor in power, they seem to be alright with each other. Alastor is cordial and does not demonstrate a desire to antagonize him like he does Lucifer in the next episode. Speaking of which…
“Dad Beat Dad”: This episode gives us a lot to chew on and is the first major indicator that Alastor’s issues go beyond wanting to be the center of the room. From the very moment Lucifer walks into the hotel*, his eye is twitching and he is visibly pissed. Lucifer undermining him (notably contrasting Zestial, who is polite despite his power) doesn’t help and makes Alastor let loose his first swear in the entire show. Being the petty bitch he is, Alastor, knowing he can’t intimidate Lucifer in any way, immediately goes for his weak point–Charlie–and plays up the role of a caretaker for her and the hotel. It’s a low blow, but it also feels like a defense–he’s signaling to Lucifer that this is his hotel, that things are taken care of already, and that they do not need his assistance, even though they ultimately do in order to get a meeting with Heaven.
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But then things get more complicated with the appearance of Mimzy, who, to the surprise of several characters due to his solitary nature, was friends with Alastor all the way back when they were alive, and she carries a load of implications with her. She’s the only crack so far at what a “human” Alastor is like–apparently he’s a heavyweight drinker, a good dancer, and most notably, in Mimzy’s words, a sweet man who "becomes a kitten" when he's drunk. This is a huge departure from the unflappable, egotistical Radio Demon we’ve known up to now, and I think it’s a purposeful choice that we’re hearing this information but not shown it like his early days in Hell just prior. It’s simultaneously left to the imagination but difficult to do so because it contrasts so heavily with everything that has been shown to us beforehand. Another thing is that Mimzy is sure that Alastor will clean up her mess–and apparently this isn’t the first time he has, if Husk is anything to go by. So many people seem to miss this, but Alastor, who hates being tied down or disrespected, has been allowing Mimzy to leech off of him, presumably due to their past friendship making him turn a blind eye.
Alastor is on edge for this entire episode and is already unusually snappy when Husk addresses Mimzy, and pushing the button that was his contract is what sends him over the edge. His temper exploding is a direct result of his feeling that his control over both the hotel (via Lucifer) and his personal life (via Husk’s “doubt” that he can handle everything and that his reputation is what it used to be, plus the reminder of his deal) is being taken away from him. Alastor’s threat to Husk, which seems to not be his usual behavior if Husk’s willingness to show concern and talk back in the first place is anything to go by, is an attempt to remind both of them that he holds the cards, that he’s a powerful Overlord that is not to be trifled with, and he explicitly says as much when he goes out to deal with what Mimzy’s dragged in.
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It’s only after he lets his anger out on the mobsters and “proves himself” that he visibly calms down and makes the logical decision to tell Mimzy to leave with a serious attitude, and also doesn’t antagonize anyone for the rest of the episode. It seems like despite his fury earlier, he was listening to Husk, who’s rightfully smug about it. He’s even present when Charlie declares her desire to protect her people, and his smile seems just a tad bit more genuine.
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*Note: it’s not impossible that Alastor has some sort of personal grudge against Lucifer which caused his hate-on-first-sight, depending on the circumstances of his disappearance and contract (i.e. if it’s with Lilith).
“Hello Rosie!”: As opposed to Dad Beat Dad, Hello Rosie is arguably where we see Alastor at his most in-his-element. He gives off a lot of conflicting vibes at the beginning, from mocking Charlie’s distress to, in a shockingly honest moment, lecturing her about the importance of a smile to portray strength, a card we’d only been shown due to comments outside of the show. He smugly holds his knowledge over Charlie’s head but is visibly impatient to have her make a blank check of a deal with him, solid enough to benefit him but vague enough so that Charlie won’t feel immediately threatened. He’s clearly been waiting for an opportunity like this since the events of the pilot.
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After that, he puts back on his gentleman’s demeanor and introduces Charlie to Rosie, and from here on he’s arguably at his most comfortable in the entire show. He’s relaxed around Rosie and is actually willing to ask for her help (something I can’t see him doing with any other character), casually complains about Susan, is encouraging to and praises Charlie even behind her back, and most notably, gives her his radio cane unprompted. More on that later. He also mentioned wanting to guide Charlie to Rosie specifically, implying that he was being genuine about wanting to act as a mentor to her, though his intentions are probably self-beneficial.
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“The Show Must Go On”: The finale is arguably the most revealing episode on what Alastor’s inner world is like, as we see him unmasked several times. For one, his private admission to Niffty, the closest thing he has to a friend within the hotel, that he’s enjoyed watching the other residents connect to each other. This is in direct opposition to his initial (stated) reason for helping the hotel in that he wanted to watch them all fail, and yet he seems content with his initial assumptions being proven wrong. There’s no malice or sarcasm in this moment, he’s relaxed and talking to someone he relatively trusts.
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And so he goes into the battle swinging and confident. Then, of course, Adam.
I want to bring up something before we keep going. Yes, fighting Adam without angelic weaponry was a needless risk. Yes, Alastor fell victim to the very sloppiness and arrogance he accused Adam of, and it’s thematically appropriate that he was the only one to lose his battle in that he was fighting for his own ego more than “love.” But also, people seem to forget that Alastor is the only demon in the entire show with a precedent for permakilling without an explicit reliance on angelic weaponry, as the Overlords he toppled in his original rampage seem to have never returned. He’s egotistical, but not stupid. He may have genuinely believed that he had the means to kill Adam himself but didn’t get the chance/couldn’t due to his contract or absence possibly weakening him. But that's speculation for another day.
So, he has to retreat before Adam double-taps his ass and is too injured to return until after the extermination. He makes a grand exit, but not before grabbing the broken pieces of his radio cane. The one he allowed Charlie to use just an episode prior, and presumably is a conduit for his powers, and he grabs it while a murderous angel is inches away from wiping him off the face of Hell.
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His portion of “Finale” is the first time we see him singing alone and not playing off someone in a duet. It’s obvious that he’s trying to keep his composure, still speaking to himself in his artificial transatlantic accent (which we now know for a fact he doesn't need to do, seeing as he finally broke character when Adam wrecked his cane) and reassuring himself that he’ll come out on top next time. But here his front shatters and we openly see what the show has been hinting he is for the first time: a deeply paranoid, desperate, and unstable man.
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Essentially the worst-case scenario has happened: after a season of interfering with every attempt to capture him on camera, Vox has footage of him at his lowest point for all of Hell to see, and he’ll have “died” a martyr, a weakling, and still in the chains of an unwanted contract. For Alastor, who is so deeply afraid of showing any sign of vulnerability, who wants to be seen as a monstrous Overlord, it’s understandable that this humiliation is enough to send him into a mental spiral and recant any fondness for the hotel in favor of accomplishing his own goals. Worse yet, when we next see him he gives zero indication of any of this even when Charlie and company are simply glad that he's alive, which leaves us to wonder: has he been like this behind the smile from the very beginning?
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___
Part 2: Closing Thoughts and Future Speculation
With everything we’ve taken note of above, we can start to piece together a picture of who this guy is, and what the writers are going to do with him.
Alastor is sentimental. It’s not just his attachment to older technology or his love for being the center of everyone's attention. He likes being around people, he has friends, one of which he continuously indulged despite her using him multiple times, and he ultimately was starting to enjoy his time at the hotel before his defeat spooked him. Despite him using her, the fact that he was even willing to let Charlie use his cane (and note that he takes it from her as soon as she’s given a substitute, so that is a significant gesture for him) is an implicit display of trust whose implications don’t become apparent until the finale.
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But this is paired with deep insecurity. Alastor, despite being one of the most powerful people in the Pride Ring, has a crippling fear of being seen as vulnerable or “lesser” by others. There could be multiple overlapping reasons for this: the general climate of Hell, whatever happened to him seven years ago, his experiences as a mixed-race human living in Prohibition-era Louisiana, his original death, a natural predisposition, etc.
Regardless, this anxiety of his is so overwhelming that, when paired with the ever-present stress of not owning his own soul, it’s driving him insane. He made a splash in Hell upon entry and now he’s desperately trying to reinvoke that in order to defend himself both physically and mentally. He’s the gifted kid who’s slowly going nuts trying to keep up an impossible momentum as they grow older. He’s an ex-human denying his humanity because he doesn’t want to feel human. Everyone’s out to get him, and anyone who could be an enemy is an enemy unless he has total control over them via a contract, power, or the reassurance of years of close friendship. It’s why he’s cordial to Zestial but takes Carmilla (who wasn't even trying to spite him) and Lucifer’s comments personally, in the same way someone with low self-esteem might want to lash out against an authority figure who they feel is looking down on them.
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Worse yet, he can’t/won’t let these feelings out and is bottling them up so that no one will know he feels this way (note how quickly he was able to relax in Dad Beat Dad when he was given an outlet for his stress), because that’s a sign of weakness too. It’s honestly kind of frightening that in his final scene he gives zero indication of being injured or of just having had a meltdown. By all outside accounts, he’s his usual chipper self, and no one at the hotel save for maybe Husk, who can’t say anything Alastor doesn’t want him to, would realize anything is amiss. The reason his part of “Finale” is chilling isn’t just because of the implications that he will become an antagonist in the future–it’s that his mental state is so poor that he is no longer acting rationally, which makes him unpredictable in the worst possible way.
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I think Alastor’s character arc isn’t going to be redemption by way of going to Heaven, I don't think that place is his style anyway, but rather redemption of his own self-image. I don’t think the writers would make what is arguably the most popular and well-developed character in the show just to say that he’s hopelessly evil and simply end it at that. We’ve been exposed to multiple facets of his character, and while his deeds and probably his intentions are sinister, his underlying motivation for it all seems to be “freedom,” which decidedly isn’t (unless your name is Eren Jaeger).
I do believe that he’ll have his villain moment where he indulges in his worst impulses, but that ultimately it won’t do anything to fulfill him, because as we see in the official comics before the release of the show (which may no longer be canon but still give a viable “baseline” for the characters), when his desire to be feared and respected is granted, it only isolates him. Like the others, he’ll have to hit rock bottom before he can climb back up.
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Pentious, who was successfully redeemed, needed to understand that people weren’t out to get him, which allowed him to make the decision to put his friends before himself and trigger his selfless sacrifice. Angel, who’s well on his way to redemption, needed to realize he wasn’t alone and could rely on others, and his confidence and self-love has grown enormously since then. I think these are both lessons Alastor will need to learn eventually as well. He’s the manager of the hotel, but also undoubtedly a patient. He’s hungry for freedom, but only when he learns these lessons will he be truly free.
Or maybe I’m thinking too much into it idk lmaooooo
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nctsworld · 10 months
Text
at your earliest convenience
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✩‌ haechan x reader | fluff | 1.3k
SUMMARY | in which haechan is always your one (and annoying) late-night customer at the 24/7 convenience store you work at and one evening, he forgets his wallet. in lieu of payment, he asks if he can take you out on a date instead. // part of the connection series
WARNINGS | slightly insecure reader, none really!
RATING | teen+
AUTHOR'S NOTE | please check out (and maybe send in some prompt requests) @nctpromptmeme!
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You ring him up, like clockwork. 
The scanner picks up a bag of the Korean brand onion rings, two Red Bulls, and an instant noodle cup.  
He’s the only consistent man in your life, ignoring the fact that the sole reason why he’s in your life is because he always comes into the 24/7 convenience store you work at during late, sometimes ungodly, hours. Tonight, it’s not that bad: 1:53am. 
Rarely, no one else strolls in during your shift (and you’re grateful it’s a safe neighbourhood). 
However, this young man lives to make your shift a painful one. 
Usually with ruffled hair, transparent-framed glasses, and a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, he saunters in as if he owns the store, often swinging his keys or obnoxiously whistling along to the song playing in the background. From the moment he steps into the store, his existence alone irks you. 
Unsurprisingly, he then takes a solid ten minutes on average (yes, you’ve timed it) to buy his items. Whistling evolves into screeches or emphatic oohs and aahs. Sometimes, he even narrates the entire process, as if he's the main character in a show. And yet, despite it all, he ends up buying the same rotation of his favourite items. 
If not the onion rings, the shrimp crackers. If not the Red Bulls, the bottles of Monster instead. He may be grabbing one cup of noodles tonight, but other times it’s three. Potentially even a completely different brand, if he’s feeling adventurous.   
On that note, predictability is in his nature. You plead internally for him to live a little, to maybe even spice up his night with a little change, for crying out loud. Heck, maybe even change the grey or black t-shirt he always wears to a shade that’s not a neutral tone or to put on a jacket for once. 
And the cherry on top is the constant annoying smirk he flashes when you tell him his total. 
You want to punch it off his face, smear it across the shiny floors with the dirty mop water you use at the beginning and end of shift.  
“How are you doing tonight, gorgeous?” he asks. Sometimes gorgeous is replaced with beautiful or cutie. It only adds to his annoyance of regularity and you have an itch he does this all the time with others, making you not take his typical endearing terms seriously.  
You can’t help but roll your eyes. “I’m not gorgeous, but, as always, thank you for the compliment.” 
His smirk melts, and you catch yourself feeling a tinge of something as his features soften. 
“You are, though,” your regular says. You quickly glance up, wondering if that pout and look in his eyes are genuine. “You know that I call you gorgeous because I mean it, right?” 
You’re unsure how to react, so you give a small nod and repeat the total, softly this time.
There’s a beat when the man gets lost in thought, but the moment quickly fades. He reaches into his sweatpants. However, he stops abruptly, before he reaches in again and pats the outside of his other pockets. 
“Fuck,” he hisses. You realize two things: one, you’ve never heard him curse; and two, he doesn’t have his wallet.
Well, that surely is different than usual.
Instinctively, you pull the snacks toward you. 
“Don’t you dare think I’m letting you walk away with everything for free,” you say, half-jokingly. Even though you’re 80% certain you can trust him, you still don’t know what he’s like.  
He smiles sweetly, quite differently than his smirks, forcing you to admit he’s handsome (just a little). “How could you expect me to stoop that low?” he whine-asks, clutching his chest in pain. 
After a moment of staring up at the ceiling in thought with his tongue running against his lower teeth, a Cheshire grin spreads over his face and he raises an eyebrow.
You don’t like it one bit and regret the moment earlier, mentally punching yourself for finding him a tiny bit attractive. 
“How about…”—he pauses as he rhythmically taps his fingers onto the counter—“...you let me take you out on a date in exchange for these items?” 
A scoff releases into the air. “Are you really telling me I’m only worth $11.87?” 
“What—no! Of course not,” he flicks a wrist upward in annoyance, then gestures to himself. “A date with me is worth way more in value, so you’ll be getting a better bargain.” 
You could not believe this guy. “Is a date with you really going to be worth it?” 
“Look,” he leans in over the counter and you catch a whiff of a light, woody scent. You fight off the desire to deeply inhale it. “No matter where we go or what happens, I’ll make sure you’ll be happy by the end of it. Isn’t that worth taking the risk of losing $11.87?” 
Squinting your eyes at him, while still clutching the goods he wants, you start to warm-up to the idea since you don’t have anything to lose (but maybe that’s due to the influence of his slightly intoxicating aura). 
“Will you choose the date location?” you ask, guarded.
He shakes his head. “Everything will be up to you and I’ll try to accommodate my schedule as best as I can.” 
You raise an eyebrow, challenging him. “And what if I want to go to the most expensive restaurant in town?”
Without hesitation, he nods. “Then we’ll go to the most expensive restaurant in town.” 
“If I wanted to order the $130 steak?” 
“$130 steak it is.” 
“If I—” 
The cute (you can’t deny it at this point) stranger cuts you off with a raise of his hand. God, you hate how cocky he is. 
Suddenly, he holds out a hand, sticking his pinky finger up. He waggles it, and you realize he’s waiting for you to do the same. You curl a pinky around his.
“There. I promise you—cross my heart and swear on my mother’s life—that I’ll uphold and adhere to whatever date conditions you ask of me.” He straightens, stepping away from the counter. “Now, can I please have my snacks and drinks?” 
The events of tonight took quite a turn. Never in a million years would you think Mr. Predictability would ask you out on a date, let alone be pretty sweet about it.  
Perhaps there’s more to him than you thought. 
You hand him your phone, and he does the same. 
When he gives it back, you shake your head at the text he sent and the name he gave himself.
“Hyuck?” you ask, unfamiliar with the name.  
“Short for Donghyuck, but yes, beautiful?”
You turn your phone towards him in disbelief. “What’s with the heart next to your name?” 
He shrugs, flashing you another smug smile. “What about it?”  
Glancing down at his phone, he beams. You wonder if it’s because you wrote the following in brackets after your name: You Owe Me a Date Worth More than $11.87. 
“And your name is just as beautiful as you are.” 
Again, another eye roll. You wonder if the date will be filled with more of it. You shove the stuff towards him. 
“I have to know: do those lines really work?”
“Well, I have a date lined up with you, so you tell me.” 
Before you have a chance to retort, he grabs something out from his pocket.
A wallet.
His motherfucking wallet, and he has the audacity to toss a $20 bill onto the counter with the same grin that you still want to wipe the floor with. Your jaw hangs. 
“Keep the change,” he says, along with your name and grants you a wink as he grabs his items. 
“I’ll be seeing you on our date soon, gorgeous.” 
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AUTHOR'S ENDING NOTE
thank you for reading! i've been getting so much love for this - y'all are amazing. if you would like to read an informal continuation, see here!
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peachhcs · 2 months
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Could we get kinda what we go from “Sammy how she was really that Will was work it” but in this case how Will was also in a dilema because it’s his best friend and it take him time to understand but he is also willing to sacrifice everything because it’s Sammy his best friend the girl he loves.
the 3 times will's confused about his feelings and the 1 time he isn't
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
will's pining after his best friend, but is he really willing to risk their entire friendship for a relationship?
5.9k words
woo second longest fic of the series and i'm finally doing a request! guys if this is bad, i'm so sorry. i got a bit carried away and i don't like the ending but that's fine lol i'm still working through my requests but feel free to send more and i'll get to it at some point :) this also isn't proofread so if you see mistakes my bad i will try and proofread this soon lol
au masterlist
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ONE
the first time will's heart skipped a beat against his chest when he wasn't drunk enough to play off any of the feelings trying to make their way to the surface was watching samy's senior send off for her last homecoming. there were probably over 30 families in the small drive trying to take photos together along with couples everywhere navigating their way through the crowds. knowing the last homecoming was a big deal for samy, will convinced gabe and ryan to drive down to see her off knowing she'd really appreciate having them there.
the three stood with ellen, jim, and luke in a small corner of the lot watching the youngest hughes pack herself together with all of her friends for pictures. there was something nostalgic about all of it considering the boys didn't get things like this when all of their focus was on hockey most of the time. even if they denied it, they secretly loved getting to be a part of samy's senior year.
gabe and ryan talked mindlessly with luke and while will stood in their small circle, he definitely was not paying attention to what was being said. instead, his eyes lingered on his best friend. she stood some feet away from them immersed in her own conversation filled with laughter and large smiles with no idea that a pair of eyes couldn't leave her no matter how hard they tried.
for the entire day since they got to samy's house, will's eyes kept finding samy even if she wasn't looking at him. he'd be standing with ryan and gabe and his gaze would just drift away from them to samy whenever she was in the same room as them. even when she was just walking by, will's eyes followed every single move.
he didn't get it. it couldn't be because of her curled hair, sparkly dress, and makeup.
he's seen her dressed up so many times over the summers because their parents would drag them out to eat at a fancy restaurant no matter how many times they said they didn't want to. it happed at least twice in the three months they spent together, so will didn't get why he just couldn't peel his eyes off the girl.
there was another reason and one that the blonde hadn't fully come to terms with yet.
her date was this guy she'd been talking to on and off over the summer. will met him once when he stopped by in august to take samy out for their first date. he seemed fine—soccer player, good grades, a swimmer on occasion. nothing special, but not some jerk at least. samy liked him and that was all that mattered.
what no one knew was that will didn't fall asleep that night until he heard the front door closing and soft footsteps padding up the stairs where samy's bedroom door shut seconds later meaning she made it back safely.
the guy clung to samy's side the entire time taking pictures. his arm was wrapped around her waist at nearly every second like he was afraid she'd disappear if he let go. that gesture, seeing him grip samy's waist like that, had will's chest tightening into knots and his heart skipping a beat. something in him popped open—a feeling. an urge.
a jealousy.
as soon as those thoughts mixed into the blonde's consciousness, his face whitened even more than it was. his jealousy quickly faded into confusion then back to jealousy then back to confusion the back to—
"you okay?" gabe's voice broke will's thoughts. he snapped his gaze towards his friend who already looked at him expectantly. ryan and luke raised their eyebrows, but tried not to act like they were staring at him.
will's jaw immediately loosened and the color in his face quickly returned to normal as if the feelings in his chest moments ago were never there in the first place.
"yeah, why?"
gabe paused. he looked at his friend a bit longer before slowly shaking his head. "no reason. you looked lost there," the dark-haired boy shrugged.
"think i'm just tired," will forced a yawn to make it more believable.
he knew gabe was studying him like he didn't quite believe what he was saying. next to samy, gabe probably knew will the best which meant he knew when the entire truth wasn't being told. feeling a bit flustered, will drew his gaze away from gabe, but unfortunately, it led itself right back to samy and her date hanging off her side.
something inside of will was screaming as the warmth in his skin returned and his jaw unknowingly clenched seeing them so close together. the feelings returned along with the battle in his mind between jealousy and confusion.
was that why he couldn't peel his eyes away from her all day? because of her date being at her side at every single second and staring at her in a way that made will's stomach drop not because he didn't like the way her date was looking at her, but because he wanted to be the one looking at her like that—
"will! get over here!" this time samy's voice broke the boy from his racing thoughts.
she found his gaze, a soft smile on her lips motioning him over. his nerves eased and a smile replaced the confusion on his features as he shuffled towards her. ellen already had her camera out as samy's date (finally) dropped from her side and will took his place.
samy, who was as oblivious as ever, tucked her head into the blonde's shoulder while his arm found the same exact place on her waist. her touch shot a fiery sensation through will as he mustered up his best smile for ellen 's phone.
"you guys look adorable. i'll send these to your mom," ellen beamed before ushering gabe and ryan into the photo as well.
ryan grabbed samy's other side while gabe hooked himself onto will's side. the four of them scrunched together with wide smiles, but all will could think about was samy's hip pressing into his own marking just how close they were and the explosion it sent throughout the boy's body.
"so, so cute, i'm so glad you guys drove down," ellen said and finished taking pictures for now.
the three broke apart, but lingered close by as samy grabbed her phone to check her makeup. "i think you've looked at yourself twenty times in the span of fifteen minutes," ryan laughed.
"shut up, leonard," the brunette eyed him.
"i'm just saying. you look fine. stop worrying," the taller boy said in a more softer tone. samy rolled her eyes before her gaze fell on will, seeking confirmation because she knew he'd be honest with her.
will's poor blush got worse under her stare, "don't listen to leno. you look good."
his words made samy grin, "thanks, i trust you. thanks for coming down. it means a lot." she ruffled up some of his curls that surprisingly weren't hidden by a baseball cap for once.
"yeah, of course. wouldn't miss it for the world, hughesy."
her smile had will's heart skipping a beat for a second time and something in him wanted to make her smile like that all the time.
the reality of everything set back in when samy's date returned to her side and started whisking her away as everyone began leaving. the girl rushed out her goodbyes and thank you's before disappearing into a car.
"you guys are more than welcome to hang around the house for the night if you don't wanna drive back. dinner, too," ellen extended her offer to the three boys hanging around still.
"anything made by mama hughes is an automatic yes," ryan grinned making the others laugh.
"i'm flattered. you can follow us back up to the house," the older woman beamed.
later that night after the boys ate as much as they physically could, gabe found will sitting on the back deck looking blankly ahead. the dark-haired boy shuffled his way towards the edge of the deck using his foot to poke will's back, announcing his presence.
"what are you doing out here by yourself?" gabe wondered. the sun hadn't set yet, but the air was growing cooler as october drifted into november and there wasn't much to look at besides a playground and the family pool.
"just..thinking," will answered.
for a moment, gabe wondered if he should keep prodding because he definitely knew what will was thinking about. he saw it when they stood in the lot watching samy take pictures with everyone. he saw it in will's face when him and samy took pictures together.
"about?" the boy sat on the step above the one will was on.
"just stuff," the vagueness had gabe rolling his eyes.
"about samy?"
sure, the guys teased the two all the time about having feelings for one another, but it was never serious. they were always joking and will knew that which was why he could brush their comments off. this time gabe was being serious and they both knew that. will couldn't push his questions or comments off.
the silence from the blonde told gabe everything he needed to know. he saw right through will.
"seeing her with her date..i don't know. i didn't like it. it felt wrong. i-i think i felt jealous? like..like maybe it should've been me instead?" will hardly ever opened up about his feelings, especially regarding samy, but he knew gabe wouldn't stop asking.
"do you know why you felt jealous?" gabe wondered.
the words were on the tip of will's tongue, yet he couldn't bring himself to say it. those words have bounced around in his head since that stupid truth or dare game where samy kissed him in the bathroom. they were there when they were drunk and made out with one another, yet neither of them talked about it after. they were there when samy was the first person he went to after a game.
it was all there, but will couldn't say it.
"no, i don't."
if he said it, it made the feelings real and in will's mind, they couldn't be real. she was his best friend. that was all she'd ever be.
TWO
no one spoke a word in the locker room after coach's harsh lecture. the loss sunk into everyone's skin, especially since it was their first loss of the season and they were supposed to win this game. no one did anything right which was why they gave up three points to the other team. the buzz of adrenaline that usually danced across every guy was replaced with solemn and disappointment. will felt it extra hard after his coach pulled him aside to give him an extra lecture.
he was one of the team's best, the coach's favorite, the team's favorite, yet he let everyone down giving up those three points.
no one dared speaking to one another as everyone slowly drifted out of the locker room once they were showered and redressed. will hardly moved from his stall, though. his head fell into his hands along with a bitter line of frustration towards himself.
he couldn't step out of the locker room with the knowledge his parents were waiting probably disappointed in him and another harsh lecture to follow. the boy couldn't handle that right now. he needed to focus on breathing before he punched something and got into even more trouble.
a small knock caught his attention. will lifted his head fully expecting his dad, but when he saw samy lingering in the doorway, everything about his demeanor shifted.
"oh will," the brunette frowned seeing his state.
she went to him, hands pulling his own away from his hair and wiping the tears will didn't even know was falling down his cheeks. "ryan and gabe said you were in here still," the girl explained her presence.
"we fucking lost," the boy choked out.
"i know. i know. it sucks," she pulled him into her so she could run her fingers through his hair and massage the spots he pulled at in frustration.
something about her soft touch and soothing voice had more tears spilling out of the boy as he buried his face into her chest.
will was by no means a vulnerable person. he had a hard time being emotional with people, but everything with samy was different. he could cry in her arms for however long he wanted knowing she wouldn't ever judge him and let him cry for as long as he needed.
her gentle fingers wound around his curls which was a stark contrast to the way he roughly pulled at them minutes ago. they just sat there on the bench while will attempted to regather himself so he'd stop crying, but samy hardly minded. she hummed some mindless tune and everything about it had will's head spinning.
those feelings he had a few weeks ago were back and a lot stronger than before. jealousy, want, and need mixed themselves together creating a pretty lethal combination building in the boy's chest, but again, he couldn't understand it.
why, why, why, why, why.
"wanna talk about it at all?" samy wondered after some more silence.
will slowly lifted his head up so he could meet her gaze. he probably looked like hell, but if he did, samy didn't any anything.
"i let everyone down. coach is mad at me and i'm sure my parents are gonna give it to me once i go out there," the blonde frowned a bit making samy frown as well.
"you didn't let people down. you played your heart out. tonight just wasn't your night," samy said softly.
"but we lost a game we should've won. everyone was counting on me to prove that i'm good at his and deserve a spot on a d1 college team," will continued.
"this one loss doesn't mean you're not good enough. you are good enough. a bad game isn't a bad career. i think you're good enough."
i think you're good enough. her words tightened will's chest along with the way she stared at him—so loving and so sure of his abilities.
"you're just saying that because you have to," the boy almost scoffed.
"i'm not, i promise. i've always thought you're good enough, will. you lost a game and that sucks, but it's not a bad career. no one hates you because you did your best," her words warmed the hockey player's heart.
she wrapped her arms around his neck for a tight hug. will's own 'arms tightened around her waist and buried his face into the crook of her neck. if someone walked in who didn't know them, they'd definitely think they were dating just based on the way they were wrapped around each other.
will never wanted to let go, but he knew he had to eventually, so he drew back. samy smiled, placing a gentle kiss to the boy's forehead. she's done it before, but right now it meant a lot more to will than before. the gentleness of her lips had the boy wondering what they'd feel like against his own lips when neither of them were drunk to even really remember what happened the next morning.
"you wanna go out there together?" samy wondered.
the blonde nodded. he collected his things and wrapped his arm tightly around samy's shoulders as they finally faced his parents waiting for him. they spotted them a few feet outside of the locker room and will braced himself for the worst.
will's mom saw her son's state—dreary eyes, teary cheeks, messed up hair—and placed a hand on her husband's arm before he said anything he was planning on saying. colleen knew another lecture wasn't what her son needed nor wanted. she saw samy hanging off his arm knowing she probably calmed him down in the locker room and she hated disrupting the peace samy brought to him in whatever way.
instead, colleen stepped forward to collect will into a hug. "you did your best, yeah?" she whispered into his ear. all will did was nod.
"you wanna join us for dinner, samy?" colleen looked over at the girl.
she was about to decline the offer until she met will's gaze that said something like please stay and she couldn't ever say no to him when he looked at her like that.
"yeah, i'd love to. thank you."
with that, the four piled into the car back to the house. as soon as will got situated in the back seat, he reached for samy. the girl laid herself in her arms and for a second, everything felt okay. the feelings racing through his chest eased while those three words crept up further and further up.
after dinner, will dragged samy to his room to watch a movie while trying to avoid his dad's lecture for as long as he possibly could. they didn't even get 20 minutes in until samy was falling asleep against the boy's chest. it was a pretty regular occurrence, especially over the summer, but right now will was terrified to even move because he didn't wanna wake her up.
he found his phone, clicking into gabe's contact and staring at the chat for a moment before typing something. he stared a his message for a moment, debating on sending it.
if he sent it, his feelings became real. could he actually do that? could he actually admit something that's been plaguing his mind for months now?
what if everything went wrong?
before will could even think about sending it, his phone started buzzing in his hands as grace's contact flashed across the screen. he grabbed his airpods just as his sister's face appeared.
"hi will. i heard about your game," the older smith smiled gently.
"it was a shit show," will whispered.
"it looked like you were playing well though?" grace offered, but the boy only shrugged.
"i don't know. i guess?"
"why are you whispering?" grace wondered quickly making her brother's face flush.
he carefully directed his camera down to where samy could be seen sleeping at his side. the look on grace's face was a mix between surprise and a small smirk because she also knew all too well about her brother's feelings even if he didn't say anything.
"so when are you finally gonna ask her out?" grace teased.
"stop," will rolled his eyes.
"what? i'm not sure cuddling in your bed is something just friends do," the older girl stated.
"or drunk makeouts?" will muttered that part, but grace heard him nonetheless.
"drunk what?" she sounded nearly flabbergasted.
"never mind," the boy shook his head.
"seriously, will. you obviously like her. what other reason is there for feeling jealous of her homecoming date?"
grace stumped him with that one. will's gaze drifted down to the girl still sleeping peacefully beside him. his fingers found a place in her hair and gently wrapped it around his fingers like she had done for him. the blood roared in his ears along with a feeling of warmth spreading all across his chest watching samy sleep so soundly at his side like nothing else mattered.
"what if i'm scared?" will finally said.
"scared? of what?" grace grew confused.
"if i admit how i feel, it makes it real and i'm scared of making it real. she's my best friend, grace. i'm not supposed to feel this way," the blonde's admission had grace's expression softening.
"i think that's all the more reason to feel this way. the most unexpected feelings come from the most unexpected people, will. i doubt she doesn't feel the same way too."
when the siblings ended their call, will went back to him and gabe's chat feeling a bit more sure than he did before grace called. his message still sat in the box waiting to be sent. with one final look at samy, will hit send and he knew everything after this was gonna be as real as it could get.
from will i think i like samy
THREE
a loud buzzing pulled will from his sleep. the boy jolted, bleary eyes trying to adjust to the dark and find the source of the incredibly obnoxious buzzing. his eyes flicked around his room until his phone screen lit up and he finally realized someone was trying to call him.
he grabbed his phone, not even hesitating as he lifted it to his ear and sounds of a party came through on the other end.
"hello?" will rasped out, sleep laced deep in his voice.
"w-will? hey!" marcie's voice came through. the boy raised his eyebrow trying to remember if he ever gave marcie his phone number.
he pulled the phone away to read the screen, but nothing answered his confusion seeing samy's name on the screen. "marcie?" the boy mumbled.
"hi, hey. yes. sorry. i'm sorry for calling so late..i..jesus.." she stumbled over her words and for some reason, that woke will up more when he heard the slight slur in her tone and her fast talking.
"are you okay?" the boy sat up in his bed.
"yes. maybe. so..we're at this party..we're like..30? maybe? minutes from you? samy drank a little too much..and i-i didn't know who else to call? her brothers would've definitely killed her and..and you were like the first person on her emergency contact list. i know it's late..but like..could you come down? please?"
marcie didn't even have to ask twice as will jumped out of bed and got himself dressed as quickly as possible.
"i'm on my way. can you send me your location?" he was out the front door a second later with keys in hand to his car.
"yes, i did. don't freak out, she'll be fine i just..i have no idea where to take her," marcie explained.
"i'll be there as quickly as possible, okay? just keep her awake and make her drink water," will rushed and the two said goodbye after that.
about 100 thoughts ran through will's head all at once as he definitely went over the speed limit. something in him paled at the idea of samy at a party getting too drunk that she couldn't make decisions for herself. he wondered why she didn't invite him? or why she was drinking that much in the first place?
"just breathe, will," the boy muttered to himself before he gave himself a panic attack.
he made it the house in record time probably going the fastest he's ever gone in a car to cut the trip down. marcie and samy were on the front lawn where will rushed to them as soon as the car slid into park.
"hey, you okay?" he hugged marcie first.
"yeah, i'm fine. i'm sorry again. it's so late and i..i don't know why i didn't..i'm sorry," the girl became flustered and embarrassed she even let her friend get so drunk.
"don't apologize. it's not your fault. has she been drinking water?" will gazed down at the brunette on the ground.
"yeah, i've been giving her a little bit."
samy's eyes gazed up at will while a hint of recognition flashed through them before she literally jumped into his arms.
"willie! hey! what are you doing here?" the girl exclaimed as she practically clung onto him.
"came to get you. you doing okay?" will pulled his gaze down to hers.
"mhm, yeah. perfecttt," she dragged out the t.
"i'm glad you're perfect. wanna get in the car?" samy gave him a half nod as him and marcie helped the girl into the back seat. she practically collapsed onto the entire back row with small fits of giggles leaving her lips. 
marcie and will got back into the front. the first five or so minutes of the drive became filled with silence besides the soft hum of the radio and samy's quiet mumbling to herself. will glanced at her through the rearview mirror every five seconds probably—worry etched into his features and the hundred thoughts racing through his mind again. 
"i'm sorry again. i don't know why she got so drunk," marcie broke the silence, her voice small. 
"don't apologize. it's not your fault," will said. his words didn't convince the girl because she just shook her head. 
"i don't really know the details but i think her and kevin stopped talking. she was briefly talking about it with me the other day and then she proposed going to that party i think to get over him.." marcie's voice faded off into the deafening silence in the car. 
kevin was samy's newest guy—the same one she went to homecoming with. they had been talking for quite a long time with an implication of a relationship soon, so will wondered where it went wrong. 
"i don't know if i should be telling you this either, but samy started rambling on about you. it was broken sentences, but she kept saying how it's been you all along, even kevin knew. something like that," the girl's words tightened the blonde's chest into the familiar knots he's become acquainted with over the past few months. 
"oh." 
"i mean come on, will. you guys are so obvious yet so oblivious at the same time. why else do you think she kisses you in the bathroom?" there was something about driving down backroads at almost three in the morning that brought out the most vulnerable in people. 
"i-i don't think that really counts. she's drunk. i'm drunk," will swallowed nervously, his eyes glancing up at samy again. 
"well, yeah, but aren't drunk words, drunk actions sober thoughts? you're always the one she goes to by the end of the night," the two met each other's gazes. marcie had a pointed look on her expression that will tried not to read into too much. 
"i don't know. it still doesn't feel genuine though?" 
"what about the time you guys kissed sober during that truth or dare?" that was the only time him and samy were sober and kissing. will thought about that moment a lot. 
another silence filled between them. the boy's glance landed on samy who was close to sleep and everything marcie just said replayed over and over in his mind. there was a tug at his heart thinking about samy having him as her first emergency contact and another tug at the smallest idea that she might actually like him back. 
"you like her, right?" marcie spoke again. will's gazed flick over to hers momentarily. 
"yeah," the boy whispered knowing samy was too out of it to understand what they were talking about. 
"i know your scared about ruining everything with her if you did date, but i know you guys care a lot about each other to ever think about hurting one another. when i first met you last year i immediately saw your relationship. i saw the way you looked at her and the way she looked at you. i don't think i've ever seen a guy care that much about her before and that's coming from someone who's been her friend since middle school. you mean a lot to her, will. like a lot," marcie rambled on, but her words had a deep blush spreading across the boy's cheeks. 
will led marcie to the guest room while he sat samy down on the couch. he wanted to sober her up before he let her go to bed knowing she'd have a killer hangover in the morning and he feared she'd throw up in her sleep. 
"thanks for calling me, mar. i'll make sure she'll be okay," will said before the girl went to bed. 
a soft smile appeared on her lips, "i know you will. thanks for coming and getting us. i hope your parents won't hate you." 
"they won't. i'll explain everything and make sure you guys won't get in trouble," the two exchanged warm smiles. 
will returned his attention to the girl on the couch. he grabbed water, a snack, and tylenol in hopes that it will sober her up some more. samy gazed up at him as he came back into the living room, a smile on her lips. 
"aww, you're so sweet willie. i love cheez-its," the brunette hummed. 
"i know you do," the boy chuckled. he poured a few into a bowl, not wanting samy to overeat and make herself sick. 
"you should've been at the party. it was sooo much fun," the girl gushed. 
"it looks like you had fun." 
"i dumped kevin," her bluntness caught will of guard. he's never been around her when she was this drunk and was quickly learning that samy said anything on her mind. 
"i heard," the boy hummed. 
"i didn't really like him that much anyway. he kept arguing with me about stupid stuff. he thinks you like me! isn't that hilarious?" soft laughter tumbled from the girl's lips, but will wasn't laughing. the only thing he could hear was his pounding heart beating a bruise against his chest. 
"i started thinking about it a lot, actually. maybe it's part of the reason why i broke up with him. i don't really know. dating your best friend? that seems scary to me," she kept rambling and will had no idea what to say. 
he wanted to confess everything to her, but he knew she definitely wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, so how true was it really? it brought will back to all of the times they woke up the morning after drunkenly making out, but samy never said anything about it. they just acted like nothing happened. 
"yeah, it does seem scary," the blonde managed.
"i mean would you date me? i'm saying all of this and i don't even know if you like me," the girl laughed again. 
will's heart clenched, biting his tongue to keep from saying anything, "how are you feeling? it's getting late. maybe you should try and sleep?" 
"you're right. i'm exhausted and i'm gonna feel like shit in the morning," samy mumbled. 
"is sleeping in grace's room okay?" will collected her things, extending his hand out to help her up the stairs. 
"mhmm, sounds perfect." 
the two tiptoed up the stairs to the older smith's bedroom. will helped take samy's shoes off and he attempted to wipe some of her makeup off before laying her down. the girl smiled lazily at him. 
"thanks for taking care of me, willie. you mean a lot to me." 
"of course. i'll see you in the morning," the blonde returned her smile, but as soon as he faced away from her, it faded. 
once the bedroom door was shut, will leaned himself against it to just recollect himself with the ache in his heart that samy wouldn't remember anything about tonight. hell, marcie's words were probably just drunk rambling. 
THE 1 TIME
goosebumps ran up will's skin when a delicate hand ran across his arm, pulling the blonde from the book he was reading. he lifted his head, a soft smile appearing on his lips seeing samy peering down at him. "hi," will said. 
"hi, pretty boy," samy returned his soft smile with one her own. hearing that pet name roll off her tongue directed at him was something will would never get used to. even though they've only been together for a month, he'd nevr get tired of hearing it. 
"what's up?" the blonde wondered as he reached his hand up to run across samy's skin. 
"just wanted to come say hi. you looked so cozy up here," the girl giggled. 
"wanna sit?" will offered the tiny space next to him. samy swung her legs over, basically landing in his lap because the seat was definitely not made for two people—or a 6'0 hockey player and his girlfriend. 
"how was golfing with jack, quinn, and luke?" the guys went out early to get a game in and samy did not like golf that much to get up as early as they did. 
"it was fun. i think luke killed all of us, but i think gabe and ryan had fun," the blonde laughed. he caught sight of his teammates down in the yard trying to play volleyball. 
"i swear, my brothers' profession would be golfing if it weren't for hockey," the girl giggled which was like music to will's ears. 
"you should come next time. i think you could definitely beat luke," will lovingly squeezed part of her leg that rested atop his lap. 
"are you just saying that because you want to see me in a skirt?" samy teased a bit which caused will to blush a deep crimson all the way to the tips of his ears. 
"shut up. that's not what i was implying," he playfully rolled his eyes. 
"i know, i'm just kidding. my brothers are way better at golf than i am, so i definitely could not beat any of them." 
a comfortable silence settled between the couple. will's gaze lingered on samy who glanced at her phone, so she missed her boyfriend's loving stare until she looked back up and flushed when he was already looking at her. 
"when do you leave for boston?" she changed the subject for now. 
"august 12th," will answered with a hint of sadness laced in his voice. the idea of leaving hurt will a lot more than he thought it would. especially after finally getting the girl. 
sure, he'd have all of his teammates following him, but the one person he wanted to always be around wasn't coming. 
"three weeks away?" samy wondered and the boy nodded. 
"i can't believe it's already here," will mumbled earning a tiny frown from the brunette. 
"you're gonna do so awesome at boston, will. i'm really proud of you." 
samy shifted so she could wrap her arms around his neck. he buried his face into the crook her neck, placing soft kisses against her skin. "i wish you were coming with me," he mumbled. 
"me too. i wish we got our act together and got together a lot sooner. maybe if i wasn't so afraid of my feelings and kept pushing them away," samy rolled her eyes, but will pulled back. he raised his eyebrow in confusion. 
"wait, how long have you known about your feelings?" 
samy's face flushed, "well..i kept pushing them away every time we drunkenly made out at parties. i don't know. prom i knew i had feelings, but i was scared and stupid." 
"so you did remember the next morning after the party," will chuckled in mostly amusement. 
"uh, yeah. i did. i never said anything because i just..i don't know. i didn't know how you felt. i didn't wanna make it weird and we had a thing going," she shrugged a bit.
"it wasn't obvious to you how i felt after?" will smiled a bit with a small tilt of his head. 
"looking back, yeah it was obvious. i was stupid," the girl flushed again. 
all will could do was laugh and pull samy closer to his chest where he never wanted to let go. everything they went through was worth it in the end to finally have the girl will's always had feelings for. for once in life, he was finally sure about something besides hockey. 
hockey's been a constant and he was too dumb to realize he had another one right in front of his face all along. 
as the hot summer sun danced between the clouds, will had everything he could ever need. samy laid against his chest and what was better than having his favorite girl beside him all the time now? he truly couldn't ask for anything more. 
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nolita-fairytale · 11 months
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don't want to walk alone | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter one: june/july
summary: you and carmy plan a wedding like it's the opening of a new restaurant.
warnings: swearing, eventual smut, lots of tooth rotting fluff, marriage, no use of y/n, second person pov
wc: 3.4k
listen to: let's get married (bleachers cover) - mitski
a/n: the long awaited wedding FIC!! welcome to part four of the 'make my heart surrender' universe (four part series). this takes place a month after the end of 'still into you' but before the carmy as your baby daddy headcanon series (my carmy masterlist is organized chronologically, if you'd like to read in order). anyways, i truly adore writing for these two and feel it important to note that after watching season 2, i've realized this has just become an animal of its own -- its own universe/timeline/entity which also means there AREN'T any SEASON TWO SPOILERS! this chapter was inspired by a conversation from two months ago between me and @carmensberzattos so courtesy of us, enjoy some healthy relationship-future husband!carmy. also don't worry syd will be starring in the next chapter. i missed her too. lmk if you wanna be added or removed from the taglist.
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masterlist | part two
"let's just get married, don't wanna walk alone, so let's get married, 'cause we don't wanna walk alone or runaway." (bleachers, let's get married.)
'I just want to be married to you' are the words uttered (first by you, you think, but maybe he said it first, you really can’t remember) that lead you and Carmy to the decision that you should elope. Sooner rather than later, preferably, is what you both agree on. It’s not like you’re planning on having a big wedding anyways. How much work can a civil ceremony at City Hall and a nice dinner party afterwards be to pull off?
Famous last words. 
You’re not sure how you’ve gotten from there to here, locked in a heated debate over menu edits with your fiance in the middle of your shared apartment when the sun’s just barely come up, but here you are.
“I’m just saying that we should be open minded and leave room for his artistic integrity!” Carmy passionately argues, winding you up as he makes his case. 
“Artistic integrity? Carmy, are you kidding me right now? I-!” you fire back, shaking your head incredulously. “We said we were gonna keep everything chill.”
“It is chill!” he defends, matter-of-factly.
Oh, he’s just looking for a fight.
“There is nothing chill about a parm espuma and it certainly doesn’t belong anywhere near the carbonara!” you scoff, stubbornly. “I mean, the only reason he even brought up the idea of a goddamn espuma in the first place is because he was trying to impress you.”
Carmy’s jaw twitches in response as he grinds his teeth, a display of discomfort at the mere thought.
“He-he was not,” he denies with the kind of conviction of a five year old toddler who's sure as can be.
You shoot him a look. 
“Carmen,” you warn him. 
Sure it’s a silly thing to fight about, but there’s no malice in this argument. It’s all passion, artistry, and for lack of a better term, foreplay. You let out a sigh, softening before you rise out of your chair. 
“Baby, when are you going to admit that you’re kind of a big deal and that people want to impress you?” you level with him, making your way over to your very stubborn and very insistent fiance. You settle down onto his lap, before tucking a stray curl behind his ear as you break, giving the sweetest smile.
He laughs dryly, averting his eyes from you because he’s not sure how much longer he’ll be able to stand his ground (especially when you’re looking at him like that). 
You’re right. And he knows you’re right. 
And Carmy’s never been able to resist you for long anyways. 
A fox-like grin spreads across your lips and you know you’ve won the argument when you feel a pair of hands snake around your waist. 
“Don’t push it,” he warns you, seeing the look on your face as he shakes his head, finally returning his eyes to yours. 
You raise an eyebrow, “You like that I push.” 
He nods slowly in surrender, his face softening as he asks you:
“You really want to fight about this?” 
You shake your head with a laugh. 
“No, of course not! Of course, I don’t want to fight about this!” you exhale, sliding your hands over his shoulders to wrap around his neck. “But I do think that your new buddy is trying to impress us and that it may be wise for us to reign him in – clear the air on what it is we’re looking for.” 
A beat. 
“Don’t get me wrong. Of course, we can leave room for creativity… but I don’t want our wedding party to turn into some pretentious fine dining fancy party.”
“Well, we did meet because of some pretentious fine dining fancy thing,” he points out, giving your hip a squeeze. 
You giggle, “How could I forget?”
You shake your head once more, leaning in to press your lips against his. Carmy inhales deeply, enjoying the feel of your lips on his, your arms wrapped around his neck, the weight of your body on his lap. 
You indulge him for a moment, deepening the kiss as you feel your future husband relax against you, because you really are happy that Carmy’s made a new friend. 
Carmy had met a private chef a few months ago and had been trying to hire him for the restaurant for a while now. Wanting to work for himself, the chef had respectfully declined all advances, but he and Carmy had kept in touch, and it looked as if the relationship could potentially extend outside of the four walls of a kitchen. Since you both agreed that no one from the restaurant should work the party, it had been good timing (making a new friend and the fact that he was a private chef) and the right move for Carmy to ask his new friend to cater the wedding.
“Fine,” you resign yourself, pulling away from the kiss. “Derek can keep the liquid nitrogen but that is as far as it goes.”
Carmy shoots you a look – one that says he’s not quite convinced. 
“And I will be more open minded in the spirit of… artistic integrity. But I’m not changing my mind about courses. Family style or bust, baby,” you negotiate, a serious look in your eyes. 
Carmy thinks it over for a moment before finally coming to a resolution. 
“Deal,” Carmy nods with the same intensity as a ‘yes, chef.’
You nod too, completing the agreement. 
“I want it to be real, Carm. I want it to be us,” you reiterate, your voice soft as you make your condition loud and clear. 
“I know,” he returns, just as determined and committed to the idea as he is to you. 
You’re satisfied with the resolution – even more satisfied with the fact that you’ve come to it together. 
“You know…” he starts, something in his voice that you can’t quite make out, unsure if you’re going to like what’s about to come out of his mouth. “... it could be a perfect menu if you just let me-.”
“Don’t even finish that sentence, Carmen!” you interrupt, knowing exactly what he was going to say. 
You are so not playing this game today.
“You don’t even know what I was-!”
“Yes, I do! You are not catering your own wedding party,” you protest, adamantly.  
You know him too well. 
He laughs, shaking his head as he leans back against his chair, like he’s in high school again, and you’ve just caught him sneaking back into the house. 
“God, I love you! But sometimes you drive me up the wall, Carm,” you groan out of frustration, eliciting another laugh from his chest as you hang your head, resting your forehead against his shoulder this time.
“Such a control freak,” you sigh, against his chest. 
“Thought you like it when I take control,” he murmurs, beginning to leave kisses across your exposed skin. 
You giggle partially because it tickles, and mostly because of what Carmy’s said. 
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
You lift your head and Carmy kisses you again, this time savoring the way your lips feel against his for a little while longer – just long enough to remind himself that he wants to have the option to sneak away in the middle of your wedding party to have sex much more than he wants cater to be in control all the time. 
Sometimes, he thinks to himself, control is overrated anyways. 
Only sometimes.
“Okay, okay,” he mutters, letting go of the idea. “I’ll get back to Derek about final menu edits and make sure he knows that while we want him to be creative, we also want to keep it… you know….”
“Chill?” you emphasize. 
“Chill,” he confirms.
“Okay. Thank you, baby,” you smile softly, trying your best to enjoy the temporary moment of peace between the two of you. Carm squeezes your hip as you roll your eyes with a sigh, muttering an:
“Oh fuck.” 
“What’s up?”
You shake your head again, laughing incredulously before letting out another sigh. 
“Just wait till we go through this again with the cake.”
“Fuck!” Carmy shouts towards the ceiling, throwing his head back as you laugh. “Why did we say we wanted to plan a wedding again?”
“Well baby, I don’t think either of us can pass up on a chance to create a menu,” you giggle, leaving a few kisses along his jawline before you make your way up to his nose. “Can you imagine if we decided to have a full-on wedding? That’d be a freaking mess.”
He chuckles, “It’d be like opening another restaurant.”
“Yeah, pass,” you hum, so glad to have dodged that bullet.
-----------------------------------------
By the time you and Carmy are even ready to focus on the cake portion of said wedding-dinner-party it’s a month later. You’ve been through half of the bakeries in the city, you think, and something’s just felt off. You’re practically eating your words, as it dawns on you that you’re having the exact same thought as Carmy: that it could just be perfect if you were able to make it yourself. 
Then again, you remind yourself that a cake is an entirely different thing versus running a dinner service, so it can’t be that unhinged to have these thoughts, right?
But you and Carmy made an agreement, so in solidarity, you decide it’s only fair for you to make like Tammy Wynette and stand by your man. 
You’re grateful for the half day you have today (“Summer Fridays”, as it’s so fondly referred to around your office) – and the fact that you get to work from home. What it means for you is that today you can clock out early and pick up samples from the tenth bakery (okay, so maybe it’s the eleventh but truthfully, you’ve lost count) in the running for your wedding cake. 
You change out of your pajamas for the first time today, throwing on a slip dress and one of Carmy’s crisp, white Ralph Lauren button downs – worn layered and open like a cardigan – before you head to the bakery, and then eventually, The Bear.
The restaurant is closed for the afternoon, as they do a shift change over: some stay and take a break, others go home, let the dinner crew come in and take over. It’s different these days and while some days you miss it – the hustle and bustle of the kitchen, the sounds of an ‘all day’ shouted by the expeditor, the careful dance that is working in a kitchen – you remind yourself that you’re enjoying a half day, and that when you’d chosen to leave, you were ready for a change. 
After entering The Bear, you make small talk with Gary while he finishes turning over the dining room for dinner, catching up over the flag football league he’s recently joined – one, it seems, to be taken very seriously by all participants. You tell him that you’re here with wedding cake samples, and he’s more than eager to give you some space to set up, because who doesn’t love free cake? Mid-sentence, Gary gestures towards a table for you to set up on, as you begin to unpack your large brown paper bag. 
“Well, well. Look who it is,” Marcus calls out, as soon as he sees you. “Heard a rumor you were out here. You brought cake?”
“I brought cake,” you repeat as confirmation, turning to see your dear friend and mentee. “But don’t worry. I’ll be thinking about yours the whole time.”
He snickers, moving in for a hug. 
“‘S Good to see you, Chef. How ya been?” he asks, enveloping you in his arms for a tight squeeze. 
“Good to see you too, Marcus. I’m good. Had a half day today so… you know, we’ve just been busy with wedding stuff. But what’s going on with you? What’s new?” you answer, turning the focus back onto him. 
“Oh you know. The usual. Though, I’ve been workin’ on some new shit for Syd’s new menu when I’m not here,” he answers, a broad smile spreading across his lips as he talks about. 
“Jeez, Brooks. I know, Carm’s got ya busy. When the hell do you ever sleep?” you ask, as you shake your head. 
“I don’t,” he answers plainly. 
And just as you’re about to remind Marcus to get some rest, Sugar comes bursting through the front doors, her rounded belly full on display now that she’s had a chance to tell almost everyone the news of her pregnancy. 
“Hey! Sorry I’m running late,” Sugar says, announcing her arrival. “Got tied up running an errand and then I had to stop at the store for Tums. This baby is killing me with the heartburn these days. Fucking christ.” 
“Oh, no big deal. I haven’t even seen Carmy yet,” you shrug, as she mutters a surprised ‘oh’ and Marcus mumbles something about going to get Carmy. “It’s good to see you!”
“Yo, Carm!” Marcus shouts, heading back to the kitchen while you and Sugar exchange hellos. 
“Awww, it’s good to see you too, sweetie,” she smiles, pulling you in for your second hug of the day. 
This is something you miss about working in the kitchen: the camaraderie, the found-family, all the love. 
“Wow this is… quite the spread,” Sugar mentions, eyeing the cakes you’ve laid out on the table.
“Yeah… they had a lot of ideas, I guess,” you say with a shrug. 
Sugar shoots you an unconvinced look. 
“Okay, fine.  I had a lot of ideas…” you admit guiltily. 
“...aaaand no one is going to do it the way you want it to be done,” Sugar sighs in the middle of your sentence. 
“And they were more than willing to play. I couldn’t help myself!” you finish, defending yourself. 
“Well, your enthusiasm is one of the many things I love about you, but… yeah, this is a lot,” Sugar grins as she gestures towards the overwhelming amount of cake you’ve just laid out on the table. 
Regardless, Sugar really can’t wait to be your sister-in-law. 
“Speaking of… I thought this was just a small wedding. It looks like you’re preparing to feed the entire French Army during Marie Antoinette’s reign.”
“Oh it still is – small,” you answer, simply. “I went a little overboard, didn’t I?”
“Why go through all this trouble? You might as well have a small ceremony instead of-,”
“No!” you protest, hearing another voice say the same thing. 
“Sugar, we’ve already told you that we don’t want to do anything big!” Carmy adds, as soon as he enters the dining room. 
“Hey, babe,” he says, sending you the softest smile as he looks your way.
“Hey you,” you smile in return as he approaches you, giving him a short ‘hello’ peck on the lips. 
“Fak attack!” Fak cries out, as he enters the dining room. “Ooooh cake tasting!”
“Yeah,” you chuckle, as Fak is quickly followed by some of the line cooks that have just wrapped up lunch service. 
It’s then that you hear Tina’s voice, growling something in Spanish as Richie speaks way too loudly about god knows what, as Ebra follows behind, somehow in the middle of a story that has little to do with whatever Tina and Richie are going on about. 
You smile to yourself, because you really do miss this part. 
“I told everyone we were doing a cake tasting,” Carmy starts, gesturing towards the rest of the staff as they join you. “That cool?”
“Totally. We have more than enough to share,”
“That’s true,” Sugar says. "And I can't complain because the baby is reeeeaaally craving cake these days."
As everyone at The Bear crowd around the circular dining table where you set up the cake tasting, you all enjoy bites here and there, comparing notes, sharing reactions to each flavor combo. 
Earl grey & lemon. A classic red velvet. And of course, you had to get a little weird with the black sesame clementine combination you’d dreamed up with the pastry chef you’d been working with. 
“I think my favorite is the black sesame and clementine but I doubt it’s a cake everyone will like. Doesn’t have the crowd appeal we probably should keep in mind,” you murmur to Carmy as the two of you watch his staff go on about the tiramisu-inspired one. 
“Well, babe, it’s our wedding! We can do whatever we want,” he encourages you. 
“I don’t know,” you sigh, paralyzed with indecision. 
“The tiramisu one is good. I’m leaning towards that,” Carmy shares with you, eager to hear your thoughts. 
“Yeah, I don’t know. Don’t you think it’s a little too on the nose?” you reply, unsettled and unsure that any of these are right. 
“Why don’t you guys just let me make it?” Marcus interjects, asking the question he’s been wondering this entire time. 
“I-,” you start, unable to help the fact that your eyes begin to wet with emotion. “Really?” 
He laughs, glancing sideways at you. 
“Uh yeah. I’m a little offended neither of you did in the first place,” Marcus teases the two of you, though you know there’s some truth to it. 
You and Carmy exchange a look that says something along the lines of: ‘oh shit.’
“Well, we didn’t think you’d-,” you stammer, beginning to explain the why behind you and Carmy’s hesitation in the first place.
“We just thought you’d want to- that you should be able to enjoy the party,” Carmy adds, finishing your sentence, his eyes widening as he realizes that you both kinda fucked up. 
“Chefs,” he says, looking from you to Carmy once more, with a seriousness in his voice as he rises to his feet. “It would be my honor. And just because I’m makin’ the cake doesn’t mean I won’t be able to enjoy the party. I can do it in the days leading up to it.”
“Oh-, okay, yes! Yes!” you cry, leaping to your feet this time, as if you’re accepting Carmy’s proposal again. 
Richie rolls his eyes in response, groaning as he mutters something snarky to Fak, as Marcus pulls you into the biggest bear hug. 
“You all are a bunch of saps,” he scoffs, directing this next comment to Marcus this time. “You big softie!”
“Richie!” Sugar hisses, glaring the sharpest daggers from her eyeballs into Richie’s skull. 
“Oh fuck off, Richie,” you snort, with a laugh. “You’re just salty because… wait. Carm, you haven’t asked him yet?”
“Babe, I-,” Carmy whines, his eyes wide. “You just ruined the surprise!”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah ‘fuck’ is right,” he pouts, though he can never stay upset with you for too long. 
“What the fuck are you guys even talking about?” Richie asks, squinting as he looks between the two of you. 
You and Carmy share a knowing look, deciding that now is a better time as ever. 
“We want you to be our witness, Cousin. At the courthouse,” Carmy says, a soft intensity in his eyes as he answers Richie’s question.
“Jesus Christ,” Sugar snarks, with an eye roll as she realizes she’ll be stuck with him at the damn courthouse as well.
“Wh-?” Richie begins to ask, looking from Carmy to you, then back to Carmy again, tears welling up in his eyes as he realizes what Carmy’s just said. “You-? Really?”
“Yeah, of course,” you reply, in a well-duh kind of tone. “Plus you know I can’t get married without my Ava there.”
“And sign the marriage license and everything?” Richie balks, because he really can’t believe it. 
“Yeah,” you reassure him. 
“Yeah. I mean, fuck yeah! Fuck yeah!” Richie declares, even more sentimental than Marcus this time. “Shit, Cuz… Hell yeah, I’ll sign the fuck out of that marriage license as your witness.”
Tina snickers, exchanging a look with Sugar, and earning a glare from Richie. He lowers his voice, directing the question towards you this time: 
“Oh and uh… cool if Ava still sings “Love Story?” I kinda promised her she could sing a Taylor Swift song as part of my best man speech and she insists that one is about you and Carmy,” Richie asks, looking around suspiciously, afraid of someone else hearing. 
“Awwww, Richie. Of course,” you coo, only melting inside a little at the thought.
“What?” Richie snaps, realizing that he hasn’t been as discreet as he thought he was. 
Sugar snorts in response, earning a laugh from both Tina and Marcus. 
It’s Marcus’ turn to roll his eyes at Richie this time. 
“What?” Richie repeats, this time with a little more annoyance in his voice. 
Sugar smirks, firing back with a:
“Who’s the big softie now, Rick?”
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tobi-smp · 8 months
Text
absolutely nobody wants to see me rant about the end of the dream smp for one millionth time in october 2023, but the anniversary has people talking on my dash so now I'm infected with one of the same 4 thoughts I always have about the dream smp
obviously there is a Very Very large number of reasons that people have a complicated relationship with the dream smp, both in universe and out. and the worst for me are the Obvious out of universe reasons that don't need to be repeated here.
but the cake for In Universe reasons is definitely still the crimeboys ending. it was the final nail in the coffin for me back when I hadn't realized that the coffin had any more nails it could take in the first place, and it's a big part of why the parts of the series that I Do very much so enjoy are very often painful to look back on.
and this isn't because wilbur is a bad writer or a bad actor (or tommy for that matter), even at the time I had Really enjoyed the lead up to the end, even and Especially in that final stream sending wilbur off.
I had my issues of course, I haven't exactly been quiet about that, but in retrospect I Understand the circumstances much better and respect wilbur's choice to get out of there as cleanly as possible.
we still don't know Exactly what was happening behind the scenes, including and Especially with dream, but we Do know full well that dream stopped interacting with the entire rest of the server leaving countless story lines (that he'd Intentionally made himself integral to) left to dry with no way to move forwards while they waited for interaction that would never ever come.
wilbur's choice to move forwards with his send off of his character on his own terms, even with and especially Because of the clear scheduling issues, was the smartest decision he could have made considering the circumstances. I would very much so argue that his character is the Only One that got sent off with any amount of dignity largely Because he stopped playing dream's little game. and I do have to wonder if wilbur escaping the narrative wasn't inspired more by the real life circumstances at the time.
but no matter how satisfying I find it, no matter how much Good I see in it, no matter how much I respect and agree with the choice to do it, I cannot think about wilbur's ending without a Deep ache.
and it is for one single reason
he left tommy behind on purpose, this time fully with the knowledge of the situation he was leaving him behind In.
the abandonment that characters like tommy, niki, and fundy felt after the 16th are ultimately understandable ways of dealing with grief, but weren't Fair to truly hold against wilbur. wilbur didn't Leave, he didn't make the decision to allow the people important to him to be hurt in his absence. he committed suicide because he was sad.
wilbur getting on that boat, truly Knowing what dream did to tommy in a way that only tommy and dream knew, and leaving tommy alone on that beach affected me in ways that nothing else on the server ever has. and that truly is not a good thing.
now, I Think that what was likely supposed to happen is that dream was Supposed to interact with tommy regularly after the prison escape, and that that was supposed to build up to Some natural conclusion. we don't know what that conclusion would have been, but it was certainly nothing like what we got. and meanwhile wilbur's final arc was supposed to progress along side it, building Up To the logsted stream and his full understanding of the abuse dream had done and the affect it had on tommy.
we Know that at one point tommy had spoken about having a soft ending with wilbur. and After wilbur's ending actually did happen he'd mentioned that he might cameo on the server from time to time. that sounds like a soft ending to me.
it makes thematic sense, it makes sense with the pieces we got leading up to the final stream, it makes sense with the characters. and it couldn't happen, because dream refused to move any plot forwards and tommy of all characters couldn't move on without dream. again, both Thematically and because of what was happening behind the scenes.
and this is. frustrating beyond reason. that the snot genuinely poisoned one of the best aspects of the entire server because he was actively killing it but still didn't want to let go.
you can call it speculation, and it is, but this is what I believe and will continue to believe until tommy or wilbur say otherwise.
and on paper I just want to be able to say that the things that I don't like about the ending are bad because dream forced them to be bad and therefore I can just pretend like they never happened and substitute canon's reality with my own (or at the very least excuse it for being the way that it is).
and I have tried to do that ! both in chewing on the ending on its own terms And in imagining many Many ways that it could have gone differently (an activity I'm quite fond of regardless of circumstance).
but it just !
in a completely biased and nevertheless Extremely Honest word, hurt my feelings.
I cannot stop thinking about how they Intentionally set up wilbur finding out about dream abusing tommy, Made Sure to cover every base so the audience Knows that wilbur knows that it was physical, mental, and emotional abuse, Knows that wilbur is fully aware that tommy almost committed suicide, and Knows that wilbur was Deeply Emotionally Affected By This Fact.
and then had him leave. had him Plan Possibly Months Ahead Of Time. had him try to sneak off, only telling tommy the truth when he caught him by surprise and forced it out of him.
tommy opened up to somebody about exile in real honest terms for the very first time, to one of the people that he trusted the most, and that person Chose to leave him trapped with that very abuser out to get him Even Though he understood the danger and cared about him very deeply.
he knew that tommy was in danger, he knew Why tommy was in danger, and him leaving tommy behind was pre-meditated.
and it's Painful not just because of what it implies about their relationship As A Whole (because it's impossible to accept this as true without it affecting how we look back on what came before), but because those same implications makes it Impossible to imagine their relationship having a future.
people tried to play it off like a Soft Ending, like wilbur was just going to get therapy and then come back and they were just gonna hug it out and have a nice healthy relationship. and to be fair to those people, none of us could have predicted that tommy was going to be bombed and then reincarnated with none of his memories. that was Not in my predictions for the next phase of his character arc.
but, shitty sequel bait ending that everyone who cares has disavowed aside (way aside, into a deep pit to never be seen again), if I were tommy I would feel unimaginably betrayed.
where they left off is Not a place to reconnect with a healthy relationship when they're ready, because This Was A Traumatizing Event In And Of Itself.
I don't have to prove this, c!tommy proved this himself when started holing up in his house and abusing potions of invisibility both because he feels completely and totally Unsafe walking anywhere on the server when people can see him And as a relapse back into potion addiction reminiscent of his addiction post-exile.
he was at his absolute lowest point, his abuser and murderer escaped from prison ready to torment him and everyone he cares about for Literally forever. he was Desperately trying to find any form of stability, Desperately trying to reach out to for anyone he could trust, and he Intentionally opened up to someone he Did trust completely once. someone who made him feel safe, someone he trusted with his entire life.
he opened up Because he wanted that relationship, Because he wanted wilbur in his life, Because wilbur had wanted Him in His life. he wanted to cross that gap between them. he was making himself vulnerable to Extend that trust To wilbur.
and wilbur stopped talking to him for months and then left.
that's not going to do good things to his mental health or stability. tommy was Already displayed active suicidal tendencies BEFORE dream broke out of prison.
if he'd managed to kill dream for good and the characters went about their lives tommy would have to let wilbur go. rationalizing what happened, justifying wilbur's decision, would not be healthy.
he can accept that wilbur made the right decision for Himself. he can accept that Wilbur needed to leave, that Wilbur needed time to himself.
but tommy clinging on to wilbur's memory, justifying that he was left for dead with his abuser On Purpose, would not be healthy.
tommy would Need to realize that what happened wasn't okay. there Is no going back to having a relationship with wilbur. wilbur was Allowed to make the choice he did, but it Was a choice.
I can't bare to think of the alternative. where tommy is abandoned, deeply damaged by that abandonment, has to face his abuser and murderer Without someone he'd once considered a brother, and then turn around and just answer wilbur's call the moment Wilbur decides he's ready to have a relationship again.
that would just. be sad. genuinely awful.
and I can't let that go. the decisions they made were Sensible, I can see how it was necessary for wilbur to Have a proper send off when he did. there's no Satisfying way to re-imagine this series of events without it not Being the end.
but it tried to depict itself As a soft ending, As the characters having a future together, when it simply is not. if wilbur escaped the narrative then he left the people he cared about to be victims of the narrative Knowingly.
and it's frustrating Because I can see how it'd happen by accident. How the implications would be both meticulously set up and gone completely unseen.
but for my money, if I were to fix it on its own terms. with no additional screen time after, no change in the streams leading up to the end, and the understanding that tommy's story could not end at this point by necessity (the same restrictions that they had at the time)
I would have wilbur ask tommy to come with him. I'd have the reveal be that wilbur wanted to take tommy with him The Entire Time but knew that tommy was stubborn and attached to the server. but the moment he understood Exactly How Bad It Was he knew he needed to get them out of there Now.
so he did his best to hold dream off for now, and Immediately went to work setting up their escape (we don't need to understand How the portal to utah works, just that it took some time to set up).
it would recontextualize some of their earlier interactions, it would recontextualize his absence after the logsted stream, and it would recontextualize why wilbur didn't tell him until now.
and of course, because tommy has to stay (and because tommy is tommy) he refuses. he refuses not because he doesn't Want to go with wilbur (he wants to be with him more than anything, he wants to feel safe more than anything). but because he can't abandon the people on the server, because he can't let go until he knows dream is gone, because he will never ever feel safe until dream is dead.
and it can be a big dramatic blow out that Ends with that quiet awkward understanding, not with the characters being emotionally in sync but Knowing that this is how this moment has to play out. that same melancholy, that same understand that a choice is being made that can't go back, But It's Mutual.
It's Mutual And Born From Love.
because wilbur Wanted to save tommy, because tommy Wanted wilbur to stay, because they both understand why things aren't happening that way.
and they'll still be Hurt after. their relationship will still be impacted. this will still be something to Work Through rather than the magic soft fix that will make their relationship healthy and fluffy again.
but it's Fixable. if tommy survives there's a relationship still in tact to build on. there's a future where they both trust each other again one day, to find comfort and stability in each other. to put in the Work to build a life once the horror finally ends.
of course, if I had a say a lot more than this would've been changed. but it's a thought that plagues me because of how plausibly it Could have been what we'd gotten. because it would have worked without changing anything and it still would have hurt me at the time but it would have been the Good hurt. not a goodbye forever but goodbye until I can see you again. Goodbye And I Love You.
(at least until tommy got exploded with a bomb and forgot that wilbur existed. yippie)
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picturejasper20 · 25 days
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Looking back the ending of Gravity Falls while thinking about endings of other series like Amphibia and The Ghost and Molly Mcgee, Weirdmageddon has a message that is underwhelming when it comes to Dipper and Mabel's relationship and Mabel's potrayal in the show.
This isn't about Mabel getting tricked by Bill. She is a 12-13 years old that in that context she was feeling really bad and not thinking well what she was doing. That isn't relevant to the topic at hand and honestly it isn't a problem she did that, it does makes sense in the episode it happened.
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What i have an issue is how the narrative makes Dipper feel bad about considering staying studying with Stanford. This is something that Dipper was interested in and he was very fascinated by anything that was paranormal related. Stanford himself told Dipper he had a lot of potential and the kid was digging into it.
Mabel lashing out and not liking the idea of Dipper staying with Stanford is understandable in the episode Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future. She doesn't seem to have much friends back in her home and her parents are implied to not be the best. She gets scared of Dipper leaving, that's a reasonable fear for a kid to have.
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However, as i mentioned before, Dipper is made feel bad about considering choosing something he wants to do. It isn't Mabel who has to learn that things change and sometimes this brings things we don't like. She doesn't exactly consider what Dipper wants for himself, she mainly cares about how ¨she is going to be alone¨ and making her brother feel selfish for choosing his own path or do something that could make him happy.
Yes, she learns that things can't stay the same forever and they are growing up, that itself is a pretty good development for her and overall a good message to teach.
Yet her being codependent on Dipper doesn't get brought up nor addressed, in fact the series seems to praise this behavior of hers. In how Dipper has to do what she wants if not he is a bad brother. Mabel's clinginess and controlling behaviour to an extent isn't called out, which that itself is a problem.
Small edit: I want to add an extra point here that Mabel does have a short scene near the end of the episode that she tells Dipper that she won't get in his way if he wants to stay with Stanford and she was ¨acting nuts¨ in the dream bubble. This is good for her but it does still feel in part that her issues weren't fully acknowledged and it doesn't help she didn't say this until after Dipper told her that he was going to stay with her and not be with Stanford, which is rather questionable in my opinion. It would have been more appropiate in the episode to have this brought up and getting adressed better than for her to wait for Dipper to do what she wanted.
In contrast in Amphibia, Marcy Wu has a similar arc about change. The series explores how she can take her escapism too far and how she can be very selfish in plenty of ways, something that is potrayed as an aspect she has to learn from and realize that it isn't healthy.
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Her being too codependent on Anne and Sasha and their overall friendship is potrayed as toxic and the series explores this relationship a lot, having the girls grow over time and think about different aspects they have to work on.
In ¨True Colors¨ it is revealed that Marcy Wu learned about the Calamity Box the same day she got told by her parents that they were moving away. Very afraid of having to leave her friends behind and having to be alone in a new city, she found the Calamity Box and told Sasha and Anne about it. Worth of mentioning she didn't know if it would work but it was a desperate act of her just to not having to move away from her friends yet.
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When Sasha and Anne find out about this they are, not surprisingly, very pissed and push from Marcy away for a moment, making Marcy realize her mistake and eventually apologizes for what she did.
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In ¨All In¨ Marcy finally comes to terms with how she can't force Anne and Sasha to be the way she wants them to be and that her codependency on them isn't a good thing. She realizes that has to move away to her new home at some point, that things change but that doesn't mean the three of them have to stop being friends.
As you can see, there is a clear difference between how Mabel Pines and Marcy Wu’s characters and flaws are potrayed in the narrative. While Gravity Falls makes Mabel’s codependency and controlling behaviour to be something acceptable and that Dipper should conform to, Amphibia does the complete opposite and presents Marcy Wu’s actions as flaws she has and that can hurt other people, including her friends. She is the one that has to make a change and understand she has to work on herself if she wants to have new friends and keep these relationships as times moves on.
Since we are on topic, one thing that really bothered me is how Mabel created a version of Dipper that is ¨cool¨ and says yes and goes along with everything she wants to do. (Weirdmageddon Part 2)
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This has… interesting implications of how Mabel believes that relationships should work, or at least with her brother twin Dipper. A lot has to do with how she and Dipper have very different personalities and she maybe wishes that he was more like her, but expecting someone else to say ¨yes¨ to everything you want is a toxic mentality to have. And the episode itself doesn’t address this enough, it doesn’t bring up to Mabel she can’t expect people to work like this and she should try thinking more about what others wants.
Lets talk about The Ghost and Molly Mcgee. In this series Molly Mcgee often has episodes where she has to learn certain lessons. One of them she learns over time is that often she has to give up control and let what others want to do instead.
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A good example of this is ¨Ready, Set, Snow!¨ in which she is constanly trying to make Libby and Scratch to go and play outside in the snow with her without considering they would rather stay inside and sit near the fire for the moment. She spends most of the episode trying to find ways to make them go outside until she gets angry and goes out on her own. She has… quite of a mental breakdown in a sequence song. Scratch goes to check on her but he tells to her that she can’t do always what she wants and what it is important is for her to be spending time with her friends. Molly realizes she was wrong, goes back to the house and she apologizes for how she acted.
Molly has quite a lot of episodes like this, and all this becomes important in the series finale ¨The End¨ when she sees that Scratch has to go back to be Todd even if that means forgetting the memories he got as a ghost, her included. She tells Scratch that she is going to miss him a lot but she knows that forcing Scratch to stay wouldn’t be right. She encourages Scratch to go and ¨live his life¨ because she cares about Scratch being happy.
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Similar to Marcy Wu, Molly learns that she can’t force people to do what she wants and she has to let them choose for themselves. She knows that encouraging Scratch to do what he always wanted to do as human is the right thing to do, even if it means saying goodbye to him.
I do understand the idea that Gravity Falls was doing at with something among the lines of ¨Dipper and Mabel not repeating the same mistakes that their uncles did¨ but that doesn’t mean Dipper has to give up his dreams at expense of what Mabel wants. As Dipper said in VS The Future episode: he can still visit and they can still talk to each other. They don’t have to fall apart the same way Standford and Stan did. Just like in Amphibia, if Marcy still was able to remain friends with Anne and Sasha over the years, the same can be applied to Dipper and Mabel as siblings.
If not, it could be rewritten in a way that makes Dipper reconsider that he would like to wait a few years before joining Stanford in his adventures. That he is still a kid and wants to spend a while longer figuring himself out and be with Mabel before making a decision. That way it feels more like a decision he wants to do for himself and goes along with his character arc that he doesn’t have to rush to grow up.
As for Mabel, she has a lot of growing up to do. She has to learn overtime that Dipper is his own person and he can take is own path. That if she wants to have friends or have in general healthy relationships with others, she can’t make it always about herself and people have their own needs as well. She would have to work on her codependency and clinginess she has on others, specially her own brother. This would help her with being a more mature capable individual when she grows up.
This post on itself isn’t me hating on Mabel’s character since she has moments she can be good and i feel a lot of her behaviour comes from not being taught properly and being a teenager. The problem is that the series doesn’t address this behaviour enough and, as result, it comes off as the series giving an unintentional underwhelming message of potraying Mabel’s issues as something that should be acceptable and not her having a dynamic with Dipper that comes off as toxic. It is important to understand to learn to support others and not always make things about ourselves. That sometimes relationships change and we can’t force people to be in a specific way.
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euphoniumpets · 4 months
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From another world | Sebastian Sallow x Reader x Ominis Gaunt [ 01/?]
Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x reader x Ominis Gaunt
Summary: You woke up feeling disoriented, wondered where, how and why you came across in a city. That's when you sawthat the city and Professor Fig was real and in front of you and that's how you knew that you were in the Harry Potter world. You didn't know why, but you knew that you had one goal in your mind and that was to stop Sebastian Sallow from murdering his uncle and give him a second chance in life. And perhaps it was the reason why you ended up there to stop more than one life.
A/N: hi! yes, so, i was in a hiatus for a while before and now i am brain rotting over sebastian sallow and ominis gaunt from hogwarts legacy. these boys deserve more love and i'm ready to give it to them. this story is an AU where the reader is from our world but get transported into the game. I placed the reader in Hufflepuff but you can imagine your own house as well! Taglist is open if anyone want to be tagged in further chapters! just comment down below or send in my inbox!
Warnings: smut can come across further in the series, some sexual references, violence, blood and gore.
CHAPTERS: one - two
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All you knew that you woke up and felt disoriented. You heard your mother's voice coming downstairs and calling your name to wake up. You thought it was your real mother before you had woken up, got changed, and then walked downstairs. Your first reaction was that you were shocked.
But not because you didn't recognise your real mother, but the way she used her wand in her hand and used magic. You almost passed out and thought it wasn't real until when she said that you were almost too late for the carrige that would take you to Hogwarts.
You didn't question it, since your mother would think that you had loosen your mind and before you knew it, you were waiting outside for the carriage and Professor Fig would accompany you to Hogwarts.
It felt real. Almost too real and it made you shudder with fear, knowing how things and event would turn out if you didn't act quickly.
You waited with your bags in front of your apartment and saw a carriage approaching you. Your eyes widened in surprise when you realized who it was. You recognized professor Fig and you knew he was not from your world.
''This is impossible....'' You whispered to yourself. ''I must be dreaming,'' You muttered as he approached you. ''Ah! it appears we are almost ready to depart,'' You heard him speak to you and you almost wanted to approach your soon to be mentor a hug. He was one of your favorites person in the game and you knew that he was soon going do die.
You took in your surroundings and you knew that scenario. It was the beginning of the game you knew very well and you knew that your journey to Hogwarts was not going to be a pleasant one. ''It's a pity we didn't have a bit more time to spend on spell-casting,'' He spoke.
''I persume you've been practising the spells we worked on?'' He asked you. You nodded. ''I have, professor,'' You lied. You actually didn't know if you had practised with the spells since everything felt unknown at the moment.
''Well, I'm quite sure I've never seen anyone take so quickly to a second-hand wand,'' He complimented. You glanced at your wand in your hand and remembered that scene very well. ''You'll be a force to be reckoned with when you get your own,''
''Thank you, Professor Fig, I appreciate your working with me before the term begin-'' You were about to say before you noticed a familiar figure that had apparated in front of the two of you.
You felt your stomach turn into a twist.
''Oh! Eleazar!'' Mr. Osric exclaimed when he saw Professor Fig. ''George, glad my rather cryptic description of our location did not thwart your finding us,'' Professor Fig told him. ''I've apparated to more vaguely defined destinations than this,'' Mr. Osric informed and chuckled.
''Though, I confess I may have miscalculated slightly on my first try, gave quite the fright to some theatre-goers in the West end,''
''It's been much too long, when I recieved your owl, I must say I-''
''Best not to speak here, Elzear,hm?'' He stopped him before he could finish his sentence. ''Of course, why don't we speak en route to Hogwarts? We have a start-of-term and a Sorting Hat to get to,'' Professor Fig replied and looked between you and Mr. Osric.
''Wonderful idea, as long as your young charge here doesn't mind me tagging along,'' Mr. Osric asked you. ''Not at all, sir,'' You told him.
''After you,'' Professor spoke and gestured towards you. You entered into the carriage as the two of them followed after. You knew that Mr. Osric would die on your way towards Hogwarts and the dragon and about the portkey would be on your hands. You decided not to stop it since all you knew that it felt like a dream, that you were still dreaming, but you still felt like his blood was on your hands.
Mr. Osric and Professor Fig began to catch up and you looked out from the window to spot the dragon. It was all too foggy and you couldn't see anything so it was pointless to keep an eye. Your eyes drifted back when you noticed that Mr. Osric had asked about you.
''A new student,'' Professor told him. ''Y/N L/N, pleasure to meet you, sir,'' You introduced yourself with a smile. ''New?'' Mr. Osric asked with a surprised expression. ''Yes, sir, I'm starting school as a fifth-year,'' You explained.
''How extraordinary,'' He spoke. ''It is indeed, none of the faculty has ever heard of anyone being admitted to Hogwarts so late,'' Professor Fig informed.
''Nor have I,''
''Of course, as the other fifth-years will have been honing their magical skills for four years now, the Headmaster asked if I could get our new student up to speed a bit before the terms begins,'' Professor Fig told Mr. Osric.
''Well, you couldn't have asked for a better mentor, Professor Fig is not only an exceptional teacher, he is also a remarkably intuitive - and gifted - wizard,'' Mr. Osric spoke with a glint in his eyes. You smiled softly when you heard Professor Fig's friend complimented him.
He was indeed, you thought.
''Mr. Osric is prone to flattery, I daresay it's one of the reasons he's risen so far at the Ministry,'' Professor Fig spoke.
''Have you seen this?'' Mr. Odric asked and pulled out a newspaper in front of you. You noticed the person and knew who it was. The goblin rebellion and Ranrok. You felt a slight anger when you saw his face appear in front of you, knowing why he must be stopped.
''I have, opinions differ as to how great a threat Ranrok really is,'' Professor Fig spoke. ''Although, I've yet to convince my colleagues at the Ministry, I believe he is a significant threat,''
''And it was your wife, Eleazar, who alerted me to his activities months ago'' Mr. Osric informed. ''Miriam, how?''
''She wrote to me about Ranrok before she died, wondering what the Ministry knew about his activities,'' Mr. Osric explained with a sympathetic expression. ''Before I could respond, I recieved this, it was the last thing she sent me, Eleazar,'' He replied and pulled something out of his pocket.
It caught your attention since you recognised the portkey in his hands and the symbol but also the strange glow. The glow was exactly like from the games would show up. ''It came via her owl, but with no correspondence, I can only assume-''
''That she had to get rid of it quickly to keep it safe,'' Professor Fig spoke as Mr. Osric handed the objec in his hands. ''Persumably from Ranrok,'' Mr. Osric said.
''I cannot open it, whatever magic protects this is powerful indeed,'' He spoke. ''It looks liek goblin metal,'' Professor Fig spoke as he examined the Portkey.
''That symbol-''
''What's that glow?'' You spoke. ''I don't see a glow,''
''Neither does I,'' You looked between the two men as Professor Fig handed you over the Portkey. The lid suddenly opened up and revealed a key. ''Merlin's beard, how did you-?''
You were about to grab the key before Professor Fig stopped you.
''Wait! We don't know what-'' Professor Fig spoke and grabbed the Portkey. The dragon suddenly attacked the carrige and split it in half and Mr. Osric was long gone before that. It felt too real, but how brains play a trick on us. You knew that would happen and you tried not to panic.
''Hang on!'' Professor Fig yelled. You suddenly flew out of the carriage and you saw the key flying beneath. You tried to get to the key before it could fall. ''Grab my hand!'' Professor Fig shouted as you grabbed his hand tightly and before you knew it, you apparated.
The next thing you knew, you felt like you were going to throw up.
You realized you were in the cave of the beginning in the game and I knew how this was going to be further.
-
After finding Professor Fig and defeating the Pensives, you found yourself back at Hogwarts. ''Are you alright?'' He asked you with concern. ''I've never seen so powerful a goblin, he seemed totally unaffected by my magic,''
''It seems like we're back where we're supposed to be,'' You spoke and looked at your surroundings. You spotted the familiar castle up ahead and that brought you a smile on your face.
''You're right,'' Professor Fig chuckled. ''It seems those who set up the pensive, the locket, and the path to both wanted someone with your ability, to end up here,''
''Come, we have a sorting ceremony to get to,'' He spoke. You followed after him and towards to Hogwarts.
As you walked inside of the familiar corridors that you had seen in the movies and in the game, you couldn't help but gasp in surprise when you saw the hallways.
''Remarkable, isn't it?'' You heard Professor Fig question next to you as you took in the castle. It was every harry potter fan that had wished for ever since to see the real castle in front of their eyes.
You watched as you stood at the entrance to the great hall as you saw Professor Fig facing you. ''Oh good, we haven't missed the Sorting ceremony,'' He spoke with a relieved voice after he peeked through the doors. ''I'm no expert, but-'' Professor Fig stated before he used his wand to change your clothes into the same first year clothing that they had in the movies before they got sorted into their houses.
''That seems more appropiate, now, I need to study this locket as soon as I can, but first I must contact the Ministry, they need to know what happened to George and be warned of Ranrok, for the moment, I ask that you keep all that's happened this evening between you and me,''
''Of course,'' You told him.
''Thank you,''
''Ready for the Sorting Ceremony?'' He asked and looked at you with excitement, ''Yes,'' You spoke. Professor Fig opened the door to the great hall and you saw the other students gathered around as well by their houses at the dinner table.
You spotted your headmaster, Black and Professor Weasley with the Sorting Hat in her hand. Headmaster Black noticed Professor Fig at the door.
You heard Professor Fig mutter something about Black before he approached the two of you. ''Fig,'' He spoke and you rose your eyebrow towards the man.
You understood why the other Professor didn't like their headmaster that much.
''Nice of you to join us, the Sorting Sediment is over,'' He replied.
''There were complications,'' Fig replied. ''Complications?'' Black repeated and looked at him. ''It seems the goblin is-''
''Goblins! No time for rumors, Fig, and I'm rapidly losing whatever patience I had left,'' Black spoke before his eyes drifted towards to you.
''If you're lucky, we might still be able to get you sorted this evening,'' He spoke and walked back to the great hall. ''I'll be in touch,'' Professor Fig spoke as you nodded before walking inside. You couldn't help but look marvelled at the sight.
It was just like the movies when Harry, Hermione, and Ron had walked for the first time and the ceiling was written in the stars. You looked at your surroundings, spotting a familiar Slytherin brunette boy who talked with a blonde one. You thought it must've been Ominis and Sebastian.
As you walked down, Sebastian could feel someone was watching him and noticed your eyes on him. While you locked your eyes with him, you sent a small smile before turning back to the Sorting Hat.
''Professor Weasley!'' Headmaster Black called after her. ''We've one more to be sorted,''
''Welcome, you're just in time, have a seat,'' She spoke as you sat on the chair in the middle. You took a deep breath when you felt the hat on top of your head.
You were nervous and always wondered in what house you belonged to. Sure, you've taking dozens of quizzes and even in your game got you placed in Hufflepuff. ''Ah yes,'' You heard a voice inside of your head.
''A bit older than the others aren't you? You come here with preferences and preconceptions, certian expectations,'' The sorting hat told you.
''I know where to put you, better be Hufflepuff!'' You smiled as you felt the hat was removed from your head. You wondered how this was going to be and you knew that this was just all a dream before you were going back to the real world.
At least that what you hoped.
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meaningofaeons · 1 year
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Hi! Can I request hcs about Gepard and Dan Heng with a very playful and kinda overconfident reader. They're a pain in the ass but also very charming so it's hard to be mad at them. I don't know if the name would tell you anything, but they are Wei Wuxian type of menace. Thank you 💛
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-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ cheerful mischief
⊹ character(s) - gepard landau, dan heng ⊹ word count - 1.0k ⊹ notes - gn!reader, fluff, tad bit of angst if you squint (reader is a bit reckless :,3), more utc
unfortunately I do not know much about wei wuxian or the series hes from but!! I looked him up so I think I have a good idea what you're looking for anon! thank you for the request!! <3 /ᐠ ̥  ̮  ̥ ᐟ\ฅ
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⊹ Gepard Landau
Gepard was consistently endeared and... frankly, worried by your nature.
Being an incredibly patient man, well-trained on his emotional handling as a member of the Silvermane Guards, he could handle your playful attitude and teasing.
Though, let's be clear—"could handle" does not mean "immune to".
The poor Captain had more than his fair share of going red in the face whenever you were around.
It's not that you were trying to tease the poor man, knowing how shy he could get and how easily it could happen, but he was just too easy!
Your energy was contagious, and so was your smile and your laughter. But he definitely noticed your habit of shirking the rules—all in good fun, you'd say.
Gepard would find himself sighing when you ended up getting in trouble with the other guards, ready for another round of justifying your actions and asking for leniency on your behalf. If the Captain asked for it, it was usually done.
It could be a hassle, but... Still, he couldn't be too upset. Not when you looked at him with those big eyes as if to try and absolve yourself of any crimes.
Most situations ended with another long, drawn-out sigh from Gepard, the kind that you always knew meant he wasn't really mad, and a gentle mussing of your hair with the promise to "never do something like that again".
Spoiler: You always did something like that again.
However, you were clearly very caring towards your friends and family. It was something the Captain admired most about you.
It also worried him, however.
There were more than a few instances where he'd find you out with one of your many friends, getting into it with a hoodlum that harassed you two with that signature assertive smirk of yours.
He was concerned in those moments, but not beyond reason.
Sure, he had gone out to patrol this particular section because he heard you'd be around. Surely, it was only to make sure you stay out of trouble, and not because his thoughts are plagued by you in every waking moment or otherwise—
They'll be fine! he'd assure himself. Even they're not that reckless.
You were your own person, and a strong-willed one at that. There was no reason for him to intervene.
Until, of course, he saw that same hoodlum grab your arm on one such day.
Gepard had faith in your ability to worm your way out of anything, always with a wink and a smile—that was how you evaded arrest and looped past the rules so many times, after all.
But when things got physical, he would never hesitate to step in and defend you, knowing your selfless nature.
He noticed a lot about you. But the one thing he never did seem to notice was the way your eyes gleamed with affection in those moments he helped you out.
Maybe one day, though...
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⊹ Dan Heng
Dan Heng honestly thought that after meeting and interacting with March 7th, he had seen it all in terms of unfounded confidence and boundless energy.
You proved to be the exception.
Not that he minded, though.
Naturally introverted Dan Heng didn't find himself spending much time with you at first. You seemed more the type to get along with March, or even the Trailblazer.
Even Himeko and Welt, older as they were, seemed taken with your charming nature.
However, eventually, you slowly cracked his reserved little shell. It shockingly didn't take much aside from time.
"Dan Heng, want to see me fight off this Fragmentum Monster? Bet you ten Shield I can take it out in three hits or less!"
"That seems reckless... Besides, what use do you have for Shield? We're only in Jarilo-VI for a brief visit."
"To buy you a nice meal, of course! I've been saving."
You ended that sentence with a usual wink and a pat to his shoulder, running off to defeat the monster anyhow.
Dan Heng would mutter something about "what's the point if I'm the one giving you the money", but what you missed was the faint flush on his cheeks at the notion.
You're just playing around, he'd think. You say things like that all the time to everyone, not just him.
You never got to see past the stoic expression he kept stubbornly on his face, but when he got to the archives after a long day of trailblazing, his mind would be nowhere but you.
To be truthful, though he'd never admit it, your confidence was admiral to Dan Heng.
Though it could be difficult and a bit of a bother to bail you out when your games didn't go to plan, you consistently got back on your feet, never swayed by your circumstances.
It made him think to his own past from time to time, and a small fire ignited in his soul to work on his own confidence with himself.
Not only that, but your dedication to those you cared for.
When an Antimatter Legion monster had descended on you, Dan Heng, March, and the Trailblazer, you were the one who made an opening for the group to escape.
In spite of his reluctance to leave you behind, March had dragged him along, telling him to trust you.
And he did. He really, really did. But a part of him also agonized endlessly over it for every minute you didn't return to the safe zone in the space station.
Eventually, you had turned up—not a scratch on you, of course—but while the others had cheered for your return and complimented your brilliant plan, Dan Heng had only tugged on your sleeve once the two of you were alone.
He didn't say anything, but you noticed the look on his ever-reserved face, and pulled him into a hug.
"Gonna cry on me, Dan Heng? Here, I'll offer you my shoulder. I didn't realize you cared about me this much!" you giggled.
He only buried his face in your shoulder.
"...I don't know what you're talking about."
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chaifootsteps · 6 months
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Hey I saw someone on Twitter saying you’re transphobic because it said in your Twitter bio “IDW Arcee is still a guy” even though the character is canonically trans. What’s your take on that? I’m not attacking you or anything I just genuinely want to know the context of all that.
Oh boy. Strap yourselves in kids; time for Chai's villain origin story.
So basically, IDW Arcee made his debut under the pen of Simon Furman, the dude who created Arcee in the first place. Simon Furman has a small massive chip on his shoulder over the notion of girl robots, but we're going to be talking in mostly Watsonian terms for now. IDW Arcee as he comes on the scene in Spotlight Arcee is the victim of a nonconsensual forced sex reassignment, we see right off the bat that this destroyed his life.
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He's wracked with trauma and dysphoria over this, on a do-or-die quest to take out the mad scientist who did it (he succeeds and tortures said scientist for seven years straight), and is implied to suffer chronic pain.
This got a lot of criticism, but Simon Furman insisted it wasn't meant to be transphobic, just the opposite. When someone pointed out that this was a story about how traumatic it was to be assigned a gender you didn't feel was the one you should have, Furman agreed with this take.
Eventually Furman was shooed out and John Barber was brought in as writer, and nobody seemed to know how to deal with Arcee's backstory. So they just kind of...didn't. They wrote around it for eight whole years, never really acknowledging it, but frequently alluding to how traumatized he was from it. The only person to ever roll up their sleeves and tackle it head on was Mairghread Scott, the only person IMO to ever do justice to IDW Arcee.
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By the way, this panel made me weep. This issue also includes a fleeting, but notable moment where someone refers to Arcee with they/them pronouns, and at the time, I was extremely excited for this.
Shortly after this however, the comic came to an end and John Barber decided -- in the very last issue -- to bring in an expert. And by this, I mean he found some trans lady on Twitter and let her write Arcee. The last issue has Arcee concluding that the whole sex change was consensual and the violent murder spree was the result of, I quote, "bad meds."
Yeah, basically Arcee killed all those people because the Spiro was a little off.
I got into a lot of internet fights with people over this back in the day, criticizing it for being worse than what we started with, but also frequently pointing out that it wasn't Twitter lady's fault, as she wasn't the editor-in-chief at IDW and that there's a very good reason professional writers aren't supposed to do this sort of thing. In return, I got accused of hating trans women and still get some real ugly things in the inbox about it to this day. It was the first taste, bitter as wormwood, of what I as a trans man could expect from my own community.
Regardless of all that, Arcee is probably the most important fictional character to ever enter my life. He helped me realize I was trans, got me through some dark days, got me through heartbreak and top surgery. He saved my life a few times, and every so often he continues to. I owe so much to him.
If writing a very gentle fix-it fic where Arcee has a long talk with Anode (one of the trans lesbian bots from the vastly superior sister series James Roberts wrote) makes me a transphobe in these peoples' eyes, so be it. I don't care what they think. They never reached out to baby trans Chai and held his hand and kept him breathing.
Arcee did.
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f1bordeaux · 23 days
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The String That Binds Us. (Prologue) | ln4, cl16
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You fell in love with this sport all because of him. It would be selfish not to thank that boy for his help in getting you here today, even if you both ended on rocky terms. However, after finding yourself in the same paddock as your childhood best friend, your mentor, your first true love, and the boy who left you for the bigger picture, you realize that he wants nothing to do with you. So, as fate has it, perhaps you'll end up in the arms of someone else. Or maybe, just maybe, that string that has been tied to the two of you together since birth will pull you back into eachothers lives. Warnings: none Pairings: Lando Norris x Reader, Charles Leclerc x Reader Word Count: 769 Poetry style | Story style A/n: I have returned with yet another series >:) this has been rolling around in my mind and yes its a super simple, done before, run down prompt but I promise to make it worth wild! I feel as though my writing has improved since my last series(which i'm gonna go rewrite) so please enjoy! Ill update as quickly as possible. This is just the prologue so look out for chapter 1 soon, and let me know if you all would be interested in me posting this on Wattpad for easier reading! Much love! Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
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prologue; y/n.
There was simply no way, not in this world with all of its coincidences and twists of fate, that things did not happen for a reason. From the minute you’re born until the day you die, there is a reason for everything. An invisible string runs through each and every one of your actions, no matter how little or grand they may be. You were sure of it. There were so many instances you could think of. When you failed that math test and got put back into a different class-the one where you met your first boyfriend who you no longer speak of. When you visited the beach one Summer all the way across the ocean in the United States, and met a girl from your hometown who ended up becoming your life long friend you attended university with. And perhaps the most vital one, when you grew up next door to a boy, only a year older than you, who possessed a love for cars and all things involving them. He would sculpt your life into one of his own, beginning from only the age of three. The two of you would form a shared love, a shared passion, for one sport. However, you found more interest in the mechanical side of things while he preferred to take the wheel. Still, you often wonder how your life would have played out, what you would have done, where you would have gone, who you would have become without him. What would have happened to you if he didn’t live next door? You could never even picture it. Especially now, fresh from university with a degree in automotive engineering hanging on your wall. But the craziest connection of them all? Getting an offer to work in the same sport as your neighbor-no, your childhood best friend. You just couldn’t believe it.
“Y/n you’re joking.” Sophia said on the afternoon the offer popped up in your inbox. She sat on the beanbag chair you used to have in your dorm. You were laying down in bed, lazily scrolling through Twitter before deciding to check your inbox. Now, you were sitting up straight, hand cupping your mouth as you read the email. “Let me see!”
You spun the laptop around, watching her eyes dart across the screen. “It’s not real, there is no way.”
But it was. The email would turn into a phone call, the phone call would turn into a headquarters visit, the visit would turn into a contract. Soon, only a few months after your January graduation, you would be in the Formula 1 paddock, clad in red, tending to the Ferrari livery.
You called Lando only a few weeks before the season started. The two of you hadn’t spoken in a while.
“Hello?”
“Lando, hey.” You scratched the back of your neck. How would he take it? Would he even care at all? Why were you calling with how things ended between the two of you?
There was a second of silence, although it felt like minutes. “Y/n, it’s been a minute. I heard you graduated. Congrats.”
“Oh? Who told you?”
“Mom. You know she's still best friends with yours.”
“Right,” You sighed. He didn’t like your Instagram post that compiled all your grad-photos. Of course he’d only heard it involuntarily. “How have you been?”
“Good.” He responded. “Just preparing for the season, you know?”
“That's actually what I was calling about,” Your heart was pounding. You were so excited to tell him, to let him know that not only did he make it into his dream field, but so did you. “I got a job.”
“Cool. Where at?”
“Ferrari.”
The silence that hung over the line only a little while ago returned. “Like at a shop somewhere in the UK?”
Not exactly the celebration you were hoping for. “No, uh, in F1. I’ll be in the paddock working on either Leclerc’s or Sainz’s car.”
“Oh.” He sniffled. “How’d you manage a job like that straight out of uni?”
“I applied. Didn’t think I would get it but here we are.”
“Well I guess I’ll see you around then.”
And that was it, your big call, your big announcement, all concluded with a ‘see you around’ like it was a conversation to be had in a school yard. You were hurt, your childhood best friend chalking your achievements up to something not worth being impressed about, but you didn’t have time to think about it. You had a job to do and damnit, you were sure you’d be doing it the best.
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lambtotheslaughterr · 3 months
Text
I Burn : Part Four
A Rafe Cameron Mini Series
[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]
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WC: 4.4k
Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics
PART THREE | MASTERLIST | PART FIVE
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            Today was the day. Your parents would be visiting. They’d be expecting to see some progress, you’d be expecting some love & affection. You had a feeling everyone would end up being disappointed. To start, you dressed in an outfit you knew they would approve of; even went as far as to include a cross necklace that would surely make your mother happy. You cringed internally as you clipped the necklace behind your neck. You looked yourself in the mirror, running your hands along the skirt of your dress. You looked like the perfect daughter.
            Leaving your room, you avoided the eyes of your fellow patients, Renee’s smirk in particular. Albert smiled at you & you mustered one in return. Fortunately, there was no sign of Rafe as you made your way to Dr. Mooney’s office. This morning’s session would be a simple check-in. Then parents would begin arriving around 11 & there would be lunch. Afterwards, families could either explore the grounds or visit together in common areas. You weren’t sure if your parents would stay past lunch. You hoped they wouldn’t.
            You knocked on Dr. Mooney’s door & he hollered for you to come in. As you did, you closed the door gently behind you. He grinned at you from beneath his glasses, “_____, you look beautiful.”
            Oh boy. You felt your pits begin to sweat at the compliment.
            “Thank you.” You replied, moving towards the couch.
            Dr. Mooney was dressed casually today in a pair of jeans that were hugging him in all the right places, a navy blue pressed T, & a white blazer. He looked to be the most perfect gentleman. You ignored the glint of shine from the ring on his finger.
            “How are you feeling this morning?” He asked as he sat across from you. No notepad.
            You crossed your legs at the ankle, your hands in your lap.
            “Okay, I guess.”
            “Mhmm.” He removed his glasses, holding them in his hand, “You sound wary. Is it safe to presume it’s because it is parents day?”
            “Very safe.” You chuckled lightly, but you felt awkward, uncomfortable.
            “You know they only want what is best for you.”
            “Mm.” You lowered your head, “So I’ve been told.”
            “What’s going on, _____?” Dr. Mooney leaned forward in his seat to try & catch your eyes, “I know the recovery process can have it’s ups & downs, but you were in higher spirits last week.”
            “Just a lot on my mind. People in my ear.” You replied without thought. You sighed internally, knowing he would want to dive into that.
            Before he could ask, you answered, “I guess I am beginning to question if I really do have a problem, ya know, with…sex.”
            Dr. Mooney frowned but nodded, gesturing for you to continue.
            “I don’t know. Someone pointed out to me that the only reason I’m in here is because I’m a girl. No one really bats an eye at a guy who likes to have sex. It’s normal for our age.” As you spoke, you felt your voice growing smaller & smaller. The shame was returning twice fold.
            “I see.” Dr. Mooney started, “Do you mind if we back track to our earlier sessions together?”
            You shrugged.
            “How old were you the first time you had sex, _____?”
            Oh, that early. You loathed where this check-in was going. But you answered, nonetheless.
            “Fifteen.”
            “Yes. And you’re nineteen now. How many sexual partners have you had in the last four years?”
            Your heart palpitated, heat bloomed along your skin.
            “At least ten.”
            “Now,” Dr. Mooney offered you a sympathetic smile, “you know I don’t like to use the term ‘normal’. Circumstances simply vary. In your case, your sexual exploration began at a younger age than average & in turn, the number of sexual partners you’ve had greatly exceed the average for your age. Correct?”
            Your fingers tangled together, straining the bones. You blinked away tears, nodding.
            “I don’t want you to feel shameful, _____. That is not my intent. We’re just stating facts right now, okay?”
            “’kay.”
            “More so, your sexual trysts have caused quite some trouble in your life. Especially of late, wouldn’t you say?”
            “…yeah.” Your voice shook.
            “Now, you have made remarkable progress, & your parents will know as such. But I really implore you to not view your stay here as a punishment, let alone for being a young woman. You would like to have a healthy relationship with sex, yes?”
            “Of course.” You weren’t sure though. Now you were more confused than ever. Was Rafe right? Was Dr. Mooney?
            “Then I ask you to believe in me, in the treatment program, in our staff here. You’re in good hands, _____.”
            Finally, you raised your eyes to meet his. Tears slipped away as you did. Dr. Mooney reached for a box of tissues before standing to cross over to you. He sat beside you, at a respectable distance, handing you a tissue, “Look at it this way, you are young. You are at an age where recovery has a high chance of succeeding. All you need is to believe in yourself, to trust yourself. Before you know it, you’ll be back to your life outside of here with a healthy relationship to sex, with your parents, & the tools & resources to keep the treatment working.”
            You sniffled, unable to find the words, but nodded. You wiped at your eyes with the tissue.
            “I’m proud of you, _____.”
            You stared at him. No one had ever said that to you. Without thought, you threw your arms around him, hugging him.
            “Oh.” He replied surprisingly. He returned the hug for a brief moment before standing up, forcing your arms to drop into your lap.
            “I’m sorry.” You apologized, remembering the ‘no contact’ rule.
            “It’s okay.” Dr. Mooney began walking towards the door & opened it. “Now, take it easy on yourself. And don’t let others get in your ear, alright?”
            You followed behind him, “Thank you, Dr. Mooney.”
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            The room where group session typically took place had been transformed to a dining hall for the visiting family members. There were a ton of tables, & a row of tables alongside the windowed wall that overlook the lawn where the spread of food would be laid out. A majority of patients were already there when you walked in. Albert & Siena were helping staff bring out dishes, Renee was sitting by herself in the corner, arms crossed, walls up. You were thinking of joining Albert & Siena when a shadow appeared on your left.
            “Going to church?”
            You rolled your eyes, pointedly ignoring Rafe as he immediately tried to get under your skin.
            Leaving him in the doorway, you crossed the room to find a table unoccupied. Unfortunately, Rafe followed.
            “Rafe.” You glared, “Can you leave me alone?”
            “Where’s the fun in that?”
            He looked regrettably hot as fuck. He wore a light blue polo that made his eyes pop against his tanned skin, & a pair of khaki colored shorts. The dimple on his cheek appeared as he smiled at you, clearly enjoying your perusal. You shook your head, forcing yourself to look away.
            “What do you want?” You kept your voice low, as calm sounding as possible.
            Rafe snorted at that, “You.”
            Your eyes flashed to his, “I am not your fucking toy. Can’t you find someone else to pick on?”
            “Is that what you think I’m doing?” He narrowed his eyes playfully.
            You hated how attracted you were to him. That if it weren’t for being trapped in this facility, you would have without a doubt slept with him, & now you couldn’t. He was the ultimate temptation. And he knew it.
            “I don’t know what you’re doing!” You admitted, trying to keep your voice down. After your morning session with Dr. Mooney, you were much too sensitive to face him. “But you’re…distracting me.”
            Rafe’s eyes glowed mischievously at that.
            Growing frustrated & overheated, you were about to stand up & stomp away, but Rafe was quick to place a hand on your thigh through your dress. You froze.
            He only leaned slightly forward, but you felt his body heat, smelled his cologne, & it made your thighs shake.
            “You distract me, too.”
            You felt dizzy.
            “Everyone!” A cheerful voice sounded near the doors of the room. Both you & Rafe looked up. Nurse Carney was dressed in a pair of loose-fitting slacks & a tank top with a thin cardigan. “Lunch is served!”
            With that, she moved out of the way & a handful of strangers walked through the doors. Rafe’s hand slipped off your thigh as you stood up, fixing your dress. Before your parents could spot you, you hastily moved to another table, not wanting them to see you sitting with Rafe.
            Just as you sat down at the next table, you spotted your mother making her way towards you. She grinned but showed no teeth. She didn’t want to be here either. Your father was just behind her & he didn’t even bother faking a smile.
            “Mom, Dad.” You smiled, keeping your hands clasped together in front of you.
            “Oh, honey.” Your mother embraced you, before holding you at arms-length to look you over, “You look darling. Doesn’t she, Harry?”
            Your father gave you a nod, “Always, Alice.”
            “Dad.” You felt your heart break just a little at his lack of affection. But you needed to think positive, otherwise you’d crumble right before them.
            The three of you sat, your mother on your left & your father on the other side of her. At your table, you were joined by another family, though you didn’t know the name of the patient they were visiting. Fortunately, the tables were big enough that private enough conversations could be had.
            Talk with your parents had started out small as the three of you ate. Lunch was banana bread, broccoli, a garden salad, & gazpacho. Your parents seemed pleased enough with the layout, but you could barely taste the food. Your anxiety was overwhelming you.
            Your parents spoke to one another, & you took the opportunity to glance over your shoulder at the table behind you where Rafe sat. On either side of him were his parents you guessed, though the woman looked much to young to be his mother. His father on the other hand, you saw where Rafe got his devilish good looks from. However, you didn’t miss how Rafe’s eyes were already on you. You spun back around, feeling a hole being burned at the center of your back. Damn him.
            Once lunch was finished, you offered to show your parents the surrounding grounds.
            “It’s much too hot for a walk in the woods.” Your father said at your suggestion, “But you two go on. I want to speak with your doctor.”
            You frowned at that. Dr. Mooney would be speaking to all parents or visiting family members at the end of the visit. Why was your father insisting on seeking him out? Or perhaps he just couldn’t stand to be near you.
            “Harry.” Your mother reprimanded but your father dismissed her.
            “Go on, Alice. Spend time with your daughter.”
            An inaudible gasp parted your lips. Your daughter. Was he that angry with you?
            Your mother sighed, shaking her head, but turned to you nonetheless with a forced smile on her face, “Well, lead the way, darling.”
            Swallowing your shame, you nodded. As you passed by your father, you were sure to keep your distance. He didn’t want to be here. And he didn’t want you as his daughter.
            You led your mother out the rear entrance of the building. There were other families out there, either sitting on benches on the lawn or taking strolls among the trees. All of the patients that you could see had both parents with them. You only had half.
            “I’m sorry about your father, _____.” Your mother began as you followed along the trail.
            “Don’t, Mom.” You shrugged, “He’s angry with me.”
            “Yes, but still.” She sighed, “You’re our daughter.”
            You were relieved that she noted his petty comment as well. Though your mom agreed with your dad to put you in the treatment center, she still at least treated you like a human being.
            “I’m sorry.” You surprised yourself by saying, “I’m sorry I did what I did.”
            “I know, baby.” She circled her arm with yours, “So, how are you liking it here?”
            Licking your lips, you thought about it for a moment before mustering a smile, “Could be worse.”
            She laughed lightly at that, “It certainly could be. Not a lot of good options out there, & I wanted you to get the best treatment.”
            “You made the right decision.” You commented flatly.
            It was quiet for some time after that. You led her to the creek you liked to visit. There was a nearby gazebo & you two sat at a table up there, enjoying the fresh air.
            “Honey?” You glanced at your mother. She looked despondent.
            “Mom?”
            “I want you to know that I forgive you.” She reached across to hold your hand. She rubbed her thumb along your knuckles, “You’re young, you’re beautiful. We’re just worried about you.”
            “I know that.” You replied, your voice soft, “I just don’t want you guys to hate me.”
            “Oh!” She gripped your hand, “We could never hate you. We’re scared for you.”
            “But why?” You felt the tears from earlier threatening to return, “I mean, I know what I did was wrong but… sometimes I feel like you guys are just trying to get rid of me,”
            Your mother nodded at that. She let go of your hand to reach into her purse, pulling out a tissue to dab at her own eyes.
            “Not at all, darling.”
            “But Dad…”
            “Your father is under a lot of pressure at work after what happened. I won’t lie, he is still angry at the situation.”
            “You mean me.” You added.
            “Honey. Your father, he’s… traditional. As am I. But what happened involved his career. I know you didn’t intend to get caught, for lack of a better word, but you did. And your father is taking the brunt of the consequences.”
            “How can you say that?” You narrowed your eyes at her, “I’m in rehab in the middle of Virginia!”
            “_____.” Your mother hardened her voice. You quieted immediately.
            “Do you remember Grayson?” You pressed your lips together at the name. Grayson had been a foreign exchange student from England who your parents hosted when you were sixteen & he was eighteen. You two had slept together regularly when he lived under your roof. It was your housemaid who caught you two. The next day he was sent back to England.
            “And what about Jamal?” He was your mother’s god son. You were both seventeen. He came from a religiously uptight family. You two drank together one night which led to a sloppy minute of sex. If you could call it that. What you didn’t know was that he was a virgin & was saving himself for his girlfriend after they got married. He never told you any of that. You had never asked. Then he told his parents you seduced him & it was the devil who tempted him. His parents banned him from ever visiting again. Your mother hadn’t spoken to them since.
            “Then there was Andrew.” Andrew had been your only boyfriend. It was last year. Andrew had been a regular coke user, & on prom night you two had had sex (something you two did regularly) but that night he had OD’d on coke. He survived but his parents pointed their finger at you, calling you a harlot & a bad influence.
            “Now, John.” Your father’s TA. John was staying with your family to help your dad grade papers from finals. He was enticing to you. And it was no secret that he thought the same of you. So it was no surprise that one night, in the middle of the night, you approached him in you father’s office. John insisted on your dad going to bed & he would keep working on the papers. John took you on the desk. It was how your dad found you two. John was fired on the spot. And the next day you found yourself where you currently were.
            “You have a problematic history with sex. But this time your father’s work was involved.”
            You kept your eyes low.
            “You have to admit at least that, honey.”
            “Yeah.” You replied noncommittedly. “I guess.”
            Your mother reached across the table once more, grabbing your hand, “As long as you recover, you can come home. Okay?”
            But you had a feeling your father would keep you here for as long as he could.
            “Okay, Mom.”
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            You were sitting on a chair outside Dr. Mooney’s office. Your parents were inside, speaking with him. You hoped that Dr. Mooney was singing your praises to them like he said he would. Perhaps then your father would hug you before he left.
            As you were sitting there, trying to calm your fast beating heart, you heard a clamber of footfalls from down the hallway. You looked up & spotted Rafe with his parents. As they walked by, Rafe winked at you. You returned it with a sneer.
            The door to your right opened up & Dr. Mooney stuck his head out, “_____, you can come inside now.”
            Exhaling a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, you stepped into the room. Your mother was on the couch, your father standing just beside it. Dr. Mooney gestured for you to take a seat on the couch beside your mother.
            “So, now that we’re all here.” He began as he sat down himself in his chair, “_____, your parents & I agree that your progress is moving along perfectly.”
            He then looked to your parents, “As I mentioned, we’ve had no issues with her treatment. She’s been great, & sets an excellent example to other patients here.” He then looked at you & smiled. You felt your heart flutter.
            “That’s great to hear, doctor.” Your mom beamed.
            But your father did quite the opposite.
            “Forgive me for being frank, doctor. But you are aware of why my daughter is here.”
            Dr. Mooney adjusted in his seat, staring at your father straight on, “I am, yes.”
            “How do I know you’re not sleeping together?”
            “Harry!” “Dad!” Your mother & you gasped in unison.
            “I can’t believe you!” You stood up, glaring heatedly at him, “I’m not a fucking slut!”
            Your father narrowed his eyes at you, about to open his mouth but Dr. Mooney interjected before he could.
            “Mr. _____, I don’t need to tell you how inappropriate the question is. Let alone about how you have the audacity to ask it in front of your daughter.”
            “Like I said, Dr. Mooney.” You began, glaring at your dad through blurred vision before you faced your doctor, “This isn’t to help me. It’s to punish & humiliate me.”
            With that you turned your back on your parents & stormed out of the office. You didn’t care to say good-bye or to get your hug. Your father had made it quite clear that you were not his daughter. You were his mistake.
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            It was late, almost 10. Lights out would happen any minute, but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to be around anybody, let alone hear anybody. So, you snuck out of the common area to the quiet room off the larger room where you had sat & eaten with your parents earlier. The room was dark, & you didn’t want to risk bringing attention to yourself by turning on any lights. So, you sat on the floor by the window, staring out at the trees which were lit by the trail lights.
            You hoped you could stay there the whole night. And if anyone were to find you, you hoped it would be Nurse Carney. She would be understanding, at least.
            All the tears in your body had depleted. You had spent them all in your bedroom after your father’s humiliating remark in Dr. Mooney’s office. He hated you. Hated you. It didn’t matter what your mom or Dr. Mooney said. Your dad put you in here to get rid of you. Simple as that.
            You were resting your head on your knees, your bare feet growing cold from exposure, but you didn’t care. You hadn’t even bothered changing out of your dress into warmer clothes. The cold kept you awake. It’s what you wanted.
            The sound of the door to the room opening made you spin around though. You were expecting to see Nurse Carney, but it was Rafe who slipped into the room.
            “Ugh, great.” You said to yourself & turned away.
            “Shitty parents day?”
            “Sure.” You didn’t have the energy to go head-to-head with him. If he wanted to bother you, he’d have to knock your dad out of the park to do so.
            Rafe walked over to you. He had changed into a thin white T & a pair of black sweats. He sat down before you, mirroring your body placement as he brought his own knees to his chest to rest his arms over them. You continued staring out the window, ignoring him. But he always seemed to have a way to get you to notice him. You blamed it on his unwavering stare.
            “What’s got you acting all emo in here?”
            Shaking your head, you looked at him, “My dad hates me.”
            Rafe chuckled lightly at that, “Is that so bad?”
            “It’s not great, Rafe. Jesus.”
            “What?” He continued to smirk knowingly. But when you didn’t smile or chuckle with him, his own smirk softened, “Hey, my dad hates me, too.”
            “Good for you.” You replied.
            “It’s not the end of the world, dude. Dads are assholes.”
            “You don’t get it.”
            “Oh, I don’t?” Rafe bit his lip, raising his brows, “My dad would love nothing more than to keep me locked in here forever.”
            Maybe he did get it…
            “And you’re okay with that?” You pushed.
            Rafe shrugged, “I wouldn’t care to see him either, but no. I would prefer not being here. The least he could do is send me abroad, somewhere tropical. What I’d really want is my own boat, never touch land again.”
            “Mm.” You stared at the ground.
            “What about you?”
            You raised your head, staring at him with a frown, “What about me what?”
            “Where would you rather be for the rest of your life?”
            You sighed, thinking about it. A small smile began tugging on your lips at something Grayson had told you about.
            “There’s this park in London called Holland Park. A friend told me it’s this massive park filled with gardens, fountains, ponds, & it’s surrounded by all these huge historical buildings. I looked it up once & it’s crazy pretty. And I’ve also never been to London, so I think that’d be cool.”
            “Blech.” Rafe teased, “England? Too gray.”
            “Whatever.” You laughed lightly, “To each their own.”
            Rafe smiled then he gently nudged your foot with his own, “I tell you what. When we get outta here. I’ll take you myself.”
            You narrowed your eyes at him, “Bullshit.”
            “Shit.” He grinned, “I’ll take you to Holland Park, & then you’ll come with me onto my boat & we’ll stay on the water. Go wherever we want.”
            The thought wasn’t terrible. A nice fantasy. But that’s all it was. A fantasy.
            “Yeah, right.”
            The two of you shared a smile before you shook your head, “Why do you like me so much?”
            Rafe wriggled his nose, “I don’t like you. I don’t like anyone. But I want you. That’s something, I guess.”
            “Okay then.” You huffed out a breath, “Why do you want me?”
            “I already told you.”
            You recalled the day of community service, “Yeah, yeah.”
            “I want to kiss you.”
            The words took your breath away. You froze under his gaze. But he smiled mischievously. The spell broke.
            “You’re just fucking with me again.”
            “I am, yeah.” Rafe grinned proudly, “Because I’m not the romantic prince type.”
            “No? What type are you?”
            “The take what I want type.”
            And before you could respond, Rafe closed the distance & brought his mouth to yours.
            You gasped into the kiss, one of your hands immediately finding the back of his neck to deepen it. Rafe bit your lip, forcing you to part your lips just enough for him to slip his tongue into your mouth. You groaned as he massaged your tongue with his own. Rafe grinned into the kiss.
            He then used his body to push you gently backwards. The floor was cold against your back. You arched into him. One of his hands slipped to the hem of your dress, his fingers grazing the skin on your inner thigh. You whined, pushing him back slightly.
            “What are you doing?” You asked breathlessly.
            “After today,” he kissed the spot under your ear, “I think we both deserve a reward.”
            All of your progress went out of the window with that statement. Rafe was right. You had earned this, to feel good, to indulge in your favorite activity. Rafe latched his mouth onto your neck & you reached for the bottom of shirt. Rafe leaned back enough to tug the fabric off before he reached behind you to begin unzipping your dress.
            As the two of you undressed each other, you were down to only your bra & underwear & Rafe in his boxer briefs. He was nestled between your legs, his obvious arousal pressing against the hot pulsing heat of your center.
            “God, you’re fucking sexy.”
            You felt your head hang back, “Fuck me.”
            Rafe slipped one of your bra straps down your arm, licking & sucking a sweet spot along your collarbone.
            “Want me to fuck you like the good girl you are?”
            “Yes, please, Rafe.” You begged.
            He wasted no time in reaching for your underwear. He had just hooked his fingers around the seams, preparing to slip them down your legs when suddenly the room was flooded with light. You both groaned irritably before realizing what was happening.
            Angling your head, you felt shame flood your body as Dr. Mooney stood in the doorway.
            Fuck.
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teehee. part four my loves.
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