#but the pacing suffers like oof what is happening

[fullscoreshenanigans]

reading through Return to Grace Field arc like

#to go with prev post #The Promised Neverland #TPN #Return to Grace Field Arc #Kaiu Shirai #FSS Shenanigans #myedit #myvid #I know the reasoning is he wanted to end the series on his own terms #while his health was tanking after nearly four years of WSJ's hellish release schedule #and how that was used as inspiration for the effects of Lambda sickness #I can respect the dedication to maintaining your sense of artistic integrity #in the same vein as Togashi's handling of the ending of YYH after also nearly four years without a real break #but the pacing suffers like oof what is happening #the promised queueland

[familyvideostevie]

hi can I request a steve x fem reader where Steve just noticed every single detail about reader (how she skips a commercial that has sad dogs in shelters because she genuinely suffers if she sees a sad or homeless dog, how she always picks her nails when she’s anxious, stuff like that) and it’s just so special to her because literally no one else had noticed those little things.

this is so cute i made myself sad writing this bc i want steve. hope you like it! | 0.9k, fem!reader, fluff fluff fluff

Steve isn't the fastest to the answer or the one to put the pieces together, and he knows that. But he's gotten really good at watching and paying attention. He knows that Dustin hates tomatoes and Robin never double knots her shoelaces until he reminds her. He knows that Max likes when Lucas hooks his fingers through her belt loops but doesn't make a big deal about it. He knows that Mike always calls El when it rains. Hell, he even knows which brand of juice box Erica prefers and keeps them in his fridge.

So, it's only par for the course that Steve spends a lot of time watching and learning you. He did that before you were together, but now it's different because you're his. And he's yours. And he really doesn't think it's a big deal, that it's something worth talking about until you come over one day looking sadder than he's ever seen you.

"Hey pretty girl," he says. You don't even hesitate before going in for a hug. "Oof. You okay?"

"Hi Steve," you mumble into his shirt. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." He rubs his hands over your spine. "Tell me what's up?"

"Am I boring?" Steve's brain skids to a halt. What?

"What?" He pulls back from you, hands on your shoulders. He realizes that you don't look sad, actually. You look like you're thinking hard about something, brows scrunched and nose wrinkled. You let go of him and fill up a glass of water at the sink.

"You can be honest," you say. Your hand is clenched on the counter top. "I can take it."

"I...think I'm missing something here." Steve doesn't know where you've gotten this idea and he wants to figure it out so he can hunt them down and...wag his finger in their face, or something. "Who said that? Did someone tell you that?"

"Doesn't matter who said it, Steve," you sigh. "Is it true?" Steve moves behind you and puts a hand on your lower back, fingers splayed so his pinky sneaks under the hem of your shirt to touch your bare skin. Your whole body relaxes, just a little bit, but that's all he needs.

"C'mon," he urges. "Fill me in. You know I'm slow." That gets your attention, your head whipping over to glare at him.

"Steve. You're not slow."

"And you're not boring." You roll your eyes at him and turn so his hand rests on your stomach as you lean against the sink.

"The new girl at the store was talking about all the stuff she does for fun. She's on a roller derby team, she volunteers at the library, she lived in France for a year. And I thought about what I do and what I like and I...couldn't think of anything."

"So you decided you're boring because you haven't been to France?" Steve honestly doesn't see what's happening. "Still confused over here." You groan and move away from him and he can't bring himself to be embarrassed about the sound he makes now that he's not touching you.

"There's nothing special about me!" you cry, all of a sudden incensed. You pace, hands in your hair in agitation. "I'm just...some girl. I work at a bookstore and I don't have interesting hobbies and I'm boring." Well, that won't do. Steve lets you pace, but he's not about to let you say those things about yourself.

"When you wake up you always stretch like a cat and then crack your neck," he says. You stop in your tracks and look at him like he's speaking gibberish. "You pick at your cuticles when you're anxious and you drum your fingers in a little pattern when you have a song stuck in your head."

"Steve--" He holds his hand out and starts to count on his fingers.

"You dog-ear the pages of your books but won't annotate them because it's 'vandalism,' you tug on your seatbelt just once after buckling it, and you always squat down whenever you talk to a kid."

"Are these interesting? Steve, come on --" He plows on, moving closer to you with each thing he says.

"You always know when Robin gets too nervous and you hold her hand to give her courage. You make Max new mixtapes every month. You write Will letters." He cups your face and plants a kiss for each thing he says, forehead, cheek, cheek, nose. "You eat popcorn at the movies one kernel at a time. You always smile when you see a butterfly. You hate wearing socks to bed unless they're mine. You wrinkle your nose after you sneeze like it's your first time sneezing."

"Those are just silly things, Steve," you whisper, eyes downcast.

"No, they're you," he says, tapping your chin so you'll look at him. "Nothing about you is silly."

"I can't believe you noticed all that." You lean in to kiss him just once, a sweet, quick thank you. "No one ever has before."

"Of course I did. You're interesting. Like a science experiment or something, I swear." You laugh and he relishes the sound. "Seriously. That's what makes people interesting. All the small stuff."

"I don't know --"

"I do. Everyday I learn something new about you. And I get to do that forever. What's more interesting than that?" You close your eyes and he kisses the soft skin of your lids.

"God, Steve. How do you come up with this stuff?" He smirks, pleased.

"I practice in front of the mirror." You groan at his joke, surging forward to kiss him for real this time.

tags: @cheerupbarry @srrybutno @97soroka @sunlitide @gloryofroses19 @carpediem1219 @themarvelousbee @sunshinehollandd @katsukis1wife @imherefortea @spideyboipete

want to be added to my tag list? send me a message and specify for steve, eddie, or both! reblog, send feedback, requests open, masterlist here!

#emma's asks #anon ask #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x you

[tarjapearce]

I think if it’s going how it’s should be, like it isn’t dragged on purpose and is logical. Cause sometimes it’s so slow it doesn’t make sense (or like it’s going slow and then bam! They suddenly fall so hard for each other out of nowhere). Personally I’m an enjoyer of slow burn I don’t like when the characters meet and fall in love immediately (sometimes it works and is good, but I like the other one better). I know that you’re probably asking for “Bad teachings” and it’s going really good so far and is logical and interesting. I’m sure it’s gonna be so good because your writing is just 🤌❤️. Anyways sending love and hugs, and please don’t forget to eat because I did and now I’m suffering the consequences at work haha.

Thanks for your input dear nonny. And for the compliment too ❤️.

Ramble ahead though ~

I gotta be honest , I wasn't exactly asking for Bad Teachings, but thank you for bringing the spotlight to it. Had a little feedback on A03 that got me thinking in this whole thing. I'm doing a bit of a research with that poll 👀

I do will clear up something, right now the least that happens in that fic is smut (Sorry to disappoint if you were expecting that.) Sure, it started of hecking smutty, but yeah, not happening anytime soon. It wouldn't feel right, and I want it to feel right. Not forced or out of the blue. It does contains smut. But not right now.

I know smut sells. But it's not the approach I want on that story.

Rambling/venting aside,

Im mostly asking cause what I've seen is that a lot of content over here use the "Insta-Love" or fast paced romances. (Nothing wrong with it btw, MDC is a fast paced one after all 🤭)

I'm just old fashioned regarding a slow burn. I like see the start, the developing of a build up, the build up itself and then OOF! The moment. (Hence the poll ❤️)

I really like creating meaningful connections between characters. And I know many have a different approach to it. Just wanna make my stories more enjoyable and believable.

(Except for Mi Dulce Cereza 🤭 and Strawberry Jam. Those two are pure crack and a little unhinged and I love em lol)

Sorry if I seem all over the place. But yeah.

Oh and don't worry, had a good meal 😋. Thanks again for your input nonny ✨

#talking with t✨ #thoughts on my writing

[no-where-new-hero]

author ask game: 7, 10, and 21!

Thank you for these asks, @batrachised!!! Very thought provoking :)

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

I chronically suffer from something I like to term One-Act syndrome: when I get an idea that I know has legs, I can write one act—the first act—fairly easily. Introducing characters, establishing setting, dropping in the initial conflict or the inciting incident—easy. But at the part where the second act should begin—hinging on a plot twist or a change in location or shifting the pace, basically the thing that deepens or layers on Act 1—I hit a HUGE roadblock. It happened with “A Dream of the Woodland” after the Valancy proposal scene, and it’s happening currently with “and a liar,” as I move from “enemies to lovers” to “friends to lovers” and need to find a way to make that transition. That’s why I know I need to become a better outliner, just so that the hinge/twist is smoother (I always fear my writing awkwardness will translate into story awkwardness). For that reason, I prefer writing things with unconventional structures, just to trick my brain out of holding sacred the three-act format or the ten-part story beat format.

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Exposition!! I love that shit!! I could literally go on for pages just narrating what’s happening in a character’s head or describing the sensory impact of a scene. I don’t think I’m very good at dialogue—beyond the hardship of just making characters’ voices distinct, I feel like a lot of my conversations come across as rather unnatural. And I’m not entirely sure what “writing plot” is except for moving from one beat to the next—but even while I’m doing that, I’m expositing a crap ton, so it kind of goes hand in hand for me.

21. What is the one fic that got away?

Oof, I’m not really sure if I have one! Potentially the LMM broody male character crossover? I’m still trying to figure out how to make that work. Part of me wants to stay more or less in a canonical timeline, meaning that Dean would be in his mid-40s when he meets the college-aged Walter and the twenty-something Bernard Redfern—but it’s obviously more interesting if they were all the same age. But I feel so sure that if I were to write this, I’d get everyone “wrong.” I wouldn’t even really know what kind of plot to frame it in. So I guess it hasn’t exactly gotten away, but it’s certainly trying to make a bolt for it.

#writing life #blake's asks #blake’s mail

[luvlyhyunjin]

First of all, I have been an almost completely silent reader (or lover you might say (okay that was creepy, sorry💀) ) but DAMN GODDESS, YOU WRITE AMAZING. THE TEARS, THE ANGST, THE TENSION, JUST— **OOF😭🤧😔**

This chapter must have been what they said about real pain and heartbreak while reading a masterpiece. NGL, everyone should gather together and beat up Seungmin atp (not the real puppy boy, the real one is what we call a sweetheart💕) HOW DARE HE?!?! And this was also such a blatant indication of how women actually are treated in world rn just for even being kind or showing interest or being sweet. This is why EAT UP ALL MEN AND WOMEN RULE THE WORLD✨ (On a completely different note, no girl or woman should ever have to go through what y/n went through. It was painful to read as a woman, I can't fathom how painful it might have been for you to write, you really are strong my dear💕)

Also, pls for the love of God, someone teach hyunyn some communication, it's painful to see them suffer so much when they were just some young teens in love😔

IN THE MEANWHILE, I was just re-reading carousel when a sudden theory popped up in my head— What if the reason why Chan is being such a passive aggressive asshole towards y/n rn is because he is arranged to be married to him? PLS MY BRAIN IS GETTING FRIED THINKING ABOUT THIS AS IF IT IS SOME MURDER MYSTERY.

Anywho, pls can't wait for more updates 'cuz THIS SHIT IS GONNA KILL ME (either way you are an amazing human/genius for writing this story so pls take care of yourself and your mental health and write at your own pace, you are a flawless and gorgeous hooman🎀🫵😘)

Sorry for the long ask btw😔🥲

Hii omg🥺🥺🥺 i always see you liking chapters pretty early too thank you so much🫶🏻🫶🏻 and yes i agree w you we should just get rid of all men🙄 on a real note it was miserable to write specially knowing that this is a real thing that happens to women all ocer the world everyday i wish the world could be a better place

and omg THIS THEORY WIAONA i love how everyone is fr analyzing carousel as if its a murder mystery it makes me want to write one🫡

thank you so much for being so kind and writing to me and more than anything for reading carousel🩷!! i hope you’re taking care of yourself and please don’t apologize for the long ask i dont mind at at all🩷🩷🩷

[victoria1676]

Where have I been?

Hi, Victoria here! ^^

Sorry for not posting or tell anyone of my progress after the news of Technoblade’s passing that also not only made me sad but it also made me toke a two week break from writing. Right now I am back in writing but at the small slow pace as I am trying to world build my story well without rushing it to make it ugly

So far I am definitely gonna think new ways to improve Prologue 3 which is not yet made as I haven't like decided how to start it so I apologize but I will work it on august hopefully however Im sure those who knows what is happening with Genshin.

We got leaks of what Sumeru is like (Rip Primos and wallets to everyone) and Im very excited as everyone who read my main Sagau or Sagau crossover of DSMP/SBI reader Sumeru and Snezahaya are the only ones who are not involved of the Imposter chase which i will try my best to explain why only those two nations did not hunt us down while rest such as Natlan and Fontaine hunted us down when one of them are supposedly could help us but I won't spoil why as I am waiting for Natlan and Fontaine to come so that I can work my way on them without making the characters in those nations look OOC when they are not out yet TwT

And of course the famous teaser that is about the Harbingers reaction to Signora’s death to which I did not expect it revealed all Harbingers and damn I wonder how the main SAGAU writers will write about them especially Regrator who caught my interest with Arlecchino UwU

But uh back in the Topic 😂

So like currently I am suffering a huge skin allergies which is a pain in the neck and I have no idea when it will be gone which is quite sad and annoying as the itchyness is hard to control sometimes TwT But don't worry I am doing okay XD

Although a bit oof a news.

The technolade tribute will have a bit changes as i decided to make it around the imposter au of Sagau but this will be more of Reader and Techno centric so basically more onto the Dream SMP so for those who dont know Dream SMP or never watch but came here for the SAGAU you can read it or not read it since I only made my story just for fun and so far I already have massive ideas for the "Leave me Alone and Let me build my s**t" such as I now decided that there will be like changes since i just edit this today and this draft was like last week XD

And what changes is that Prologue one will have addition of a Torture scene that a friend wanted me to add and I thought it would fit considering I decided to go around my Prologues and Interlude to add the Dark themes since things will go dark and very much have high tension once we get to the main plot of how the story began or rather how Reader felt being chased along with being labeled as an imposter when she is not.

So around August there will be a short (or not short due to my brainstorming and OCD build up whoops 😂😂) Prologue 3.5 or which uh basically is before the actually Prologue 3. What i mean is that 3.5 will mostly be a calm before the storm which will be another short point of view of the characters before Doomsday and I know everyone is not happy when they are waiting for the Doomsday to happen and Ill be honest I myself always is not happy but I have to do it so I can break expectations and also 3.5 will have a Harbingers and you guys will have to figure out who the traitor that spoke to Dainsleif because its gonna be a plot twist when you realize it was not them but another character who I always used my support XD

I wont spoil much but I can say hopefully Prologue 3 Doomsday will be moved on September since I do full chapters once a month due to being busy irl and school. I hope you guys understand especially its not easy to make a huge build up plot with worldbuilding and trying to make the characters in character without making them go OOC.

But yes this month I will do my best to finish the Technoblade tribute with reader and I can say there will be angst, comfort and a bit of a hint of the future chapters of my main story OwO! Despite i am supposed to rest with Allergies I need to make sure you guys will get enough SAGAU x DSMP/SBI reader XD

So I hope you guys understand and Inbox is open for questions which I will answer in my own pace as I am trying to get these allergies healed TwT

So yeah that's all! ^^

#genshin impact self aware #genshin self aware #sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin self aware au #self aware au #genshin impact x dream smp crossover #sagau dsmp reader

[chainofclovers]

Grace and Frankie 7x1 - 7x4 thoughts

Meh? Like...I love them so much, but...meh?

(I did enjoy this line about brunch.)

I really loved season 6 of Grace and Frankie. I thought it was well-paced, largely very well-acted, generally well-written, and it culminated in a massive moment of character development for the title characters, who, having spent years growing closer and being there for each other when others could not or would not be, finally articulate to each other that they are the primary person in each other’s lives. Platonic gal pal soulmate BFF emotional support witches 4 lyfe!

I know progress isn’t always linear, and in fact is very rarely linear, but after a moment that significant, you’d think the writers on this show would maybe come up with some more interesting things for these characters to do than spin in circles?

@bristler and I watched on Friday night, and just this morning over breakfast had a good conversation about the first four episodes of the new season now that they have settled in our brains a bit. We concluded that the writing (often noticeably clunky, like the dialogue is responsible for more narration than usual) and the tone (aggressively wacky) feel really off, especially compared to the prior season. I think we diagnosed the big issue, which is that Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are by far the most talented actors on this show (if you disagree, fight me in the parking lot) and it feels surprisingly unfortunate that their characters have, to this point in the new season, pretty much figured out their perspectives on each other. No matter how people feel about Grace and Frankie’s sexualities, the whole show has been about them finding each other and getting in deeper and deeper, and it’s less interesting to watch other characters have realizations about that than it is to watch Grace and Frankie having realizations about themselves. If the title characters are now limited to reacting to other people’s actions, and the title characters are played by the best actors on the show, the whole show’s gonna suffer. And is suffering, very much so, at least for these first four episodes. I’m definitely still excited for the final twelve in 2022 (twelve! I cannot believe this season will have sixteen eps!), but I’m pretty disappointed so far.

Stuff I Loved:

The family brunch. These families have been entwined for so long, and the backstory for this particular brunch was so fun (even though I didn’t care for the effects they did to depict Grace and Robert 25 years ago; there was no need for a visual flashback in the scene). I love that Grace hit Frankie with a wiffle ball bat. I love that the two couples realized some of the emotional reasons behind their decisions to lie to each other about Bud’s Bunny and about M’Challah. I love the way Jane Fonda sounds uttering the phrase “Bud’s Bunny” with little to no irony. I love that Grace is able to recognize and articulate just how deep and miserable her anger issues were, albeit with the continued help of her omnipresent martini, and that Frankie told her she’d now make up a holiday in order to spend more time with Grace. I really, really hope Frankie does exactly this at some point in the remaining episodes of the season. I love that Grace is generally a pretty good person now, with aspirations of being a delightful person. I love that she and Frankie don’t have it in them to stay angry with each other, and I love all the evidence that they really, really talk to each other about everything now.

Frankie talking to the man at the office (I don’t remember who he was supposed to be? A toilet manufacturer? I didn’t mention this before, but I actually got pretty high while watching?!? Believe it or not, this was the first time I smoked pot and watched Grace and Frankie at the same time despite having enjoyed both activities on their own for quite some time. I would recommend the combo! And I think I still pretty much got what was happening) about paying for the toilet parts with candy. This whole subplot with the money laundering was absurd and not that interesting, but I loved this particular scene because it was finally evidence of some really thoughtful writing. The concepts aren’t enough! You have to write them into good dialogue! And the whole cash/candy thing was a moment of dialogue that only someone as hilarious as Lily Tomlin could pull off. Which she did, IMO.

In a show about super messy people, Coyote has stayed sober this entire time. He is sober, employed, in love, and preparing to buy a full-sized house with his partner. He hasn’t murdered anyone in his family. Hasn’t even attempted murder once.

In 2017 or whatever, Grace Hanson would have been furious about Frankie using obscure Beatles references like a treasure map when hiding the cash. But here in 2021, she cooperates and even gets in on the fun. The writing is very unsubtle this season, but that did feel like a reasonably subtle moment that shows how good of a partner she is for Frankie. (Platonic, of course! So platonic. Female friendship, amirite?)

Stuff I Did NOT Love and Felt Incredibly Negative About:

Brianna. I can only conclude that June Diane Raphael has decided she’s happy with playing a character whose primary role in life is to be hot and mean. She succeeds at being hot and mean, but I have reached my limit with this character. I realize we’re only a quarter of the way into the season, but I don’t think I can take another arc about her learning to compromise only to reveal to Barry that she never intended to compromise at all. At this point, it’s both abusive and boring. How?! The Grace/Brianna parallels aren’t interesting anymore, because one character has grown and the other is stagnant. I get that Brianna was raised in an emotionally stilted environment by two unhealthy people. But I think it would be very cool if she could learn something from her mother at this point. Grace has put a ton of effort into dealing with her “rabbit-killing, mad-at-the-world anger.” She’s put a ton of effort into figuring out what makes her happy, what she wants her life to look like. She’s even started accepting her age and abilities without shame. And that growth is believable; Grace is still short-tempered and she still slugs back way too many martinis and she struggles to articulate certain things, but she’s grown into a truly lovely human. And while, as a daughter with a mother, I can absolutely attest to the fact that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to learn lessons from one’s mother, Brianna really, really should. Grace spent decades letting anger and shame trap her in a small, miserable life. Brianna—and even Mallory, who just seems like a vapid idiot this season—are traveling that same path, but there’s someone right there who could really help, maybe even more than Frankie helped when the Hanson girls were first growing up.

The arraignment. The scene might’ve been salvageable if it was filmed from Grace’s perspective, and filmed to reflect how surreal and improbable it all was. But speaking of non-linear progress, this scene erased everything Nick Skolka has done to put himself in my good graces (LOL) over the past couple seasons. I mean, I tried, man. I even wrote fic about Nick, Grace, and Frankie making a genuine effort at polyamory. But the arraignment is so emotionally manipulative, such a slap in the face of everything Grace has worked for, and while we’re certainly “supposed” to feel the weight of the moment, I mean, it’s not like we’re supposed to be like, “Oh, cool, we’re in a rom com now! This is adorable!” it still felt bad and unearned and slapdash.

And I want Frankie to process these things with her! Frankie seems so happy to have all this information about Grace and how Grace feels, but I want to see scenes in which we can gain an understanding of how Frankie actually feels. Hearing Frankie talk to other people about how Grace feels is interesting, but it’s like there’s no room in these episodes for us to learn anything new about Frankie herself.

Grace’s transitional wig. Is so. Bad. It is. Such a. Bad wig. Oof. I mean, I like what they’re doing with Grace’s hair from a plot perspective, although (see one bullet up) I would really like to get more of an understanding of what’s happening in Grace’s head, not just on top of her head. And gosh, Frankie would be a really good person to talk to about this in a conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds. But the wig! She’s in a wig in all four episodes, of course, since Jane Fonda went grey and cut her hair short before they started filming this season. The wig for episodes 1 and 2 is fine; it’s a good approximation of Grace’s typical hair, and of course we know that canonically Grace’s hair isn’t 100% her own hair anyway. But the wig with grey roots looks so weird. The part that’s growing out doesn’t look the same as the hair on the wig from 1 and 2. And the grey roots look like a yarmulke. I cannot wait to get to the point in the season when Grace goes all the way grey.

(One more thing about the hair. I can’t let it go. I paused the show while we were watching to rant, but I’m not done.) I had the great privilege of seeing Jane Fonda in person at a protest in 2019. She is an insanely beautiful human. She was growing her hair out and it was partially dyed blonde and partially grey. It looked really cool. I am not ashamed to say I spent that day learning many things about the climate crisis and about Jane Fonda’s hair. Having seen her in real life with her real hair looking that fucking great, I just have a an extra-large grudge against everyone involved in that horrible wig. The wig is necessary, but it didn’t have to be this bad.

What Do I Care About Now?

I am pretty intrigued by the way Grace threw out her real age in a conversation with Nick and Elena. She has nothing to fear anymore! She’s so chill about aging! What could go wrong? I assume that Nick and Elena maneuvering for Nick to be on house arrest in Grace's house specifically has to do with the fact that Grace is 82. She’s gonna find out that Nick is allowed to be with her because she’s ancient and helpless and the court took pity. Or something like that. She’s going to feel betrayed on top of feeling stifled and overwhelmed by Nick’s presence. I want to see where this goes for sure.

Other than that, and other than the fact that I really do continue to believe this show is moving in a direction in which Grace and Frankie will choose each other, I feel very whatever about this whole thing. I love this show and I will always appreciate this show for giving me some incredible characters to spend years of my life writing about, and for bringing me some pretty amazing friendships. Speaking of those friendships, yesterday @ellydash and @telanu and I were talking about some of the incredible TV we’ve watched recently, like Ted Lasso and Hacks and Fleabag and Killing Eve, and how great it feels to watch beautifully written TV crafted by writers who are profoundly—organically yet intentionally—attuned to even the most minor character’s rhythm. The disappointment of these first few episodes of the new G&F season feels like a mild disappointment rather than a sharp heartbreak, and that has a lot to do with being deeply invested in other shows that could also go in all kinds of different directions but with writing I fundamentally trust.

Also Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are my forever faves and my appreciation for their performances and general awesomeness onscreen and in life is undiminished. So that’s pretty cool.

#grace and frankie #meta by me #grace and frankie s7 spoilers #a lesbian watches ted lasso #grace hanson is a gay disaster #except #she's not even a disaster anymore #she's totally fine and men keep bothering her! #frankie bergstein is a bisexual mess

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #GREAT EPISODE #satisfied paper #final season #Part 1

[haleigh-sloth]

I genuinely find shouto incredibly boring as a character in the last several arcs. Like it's not even that I hate him or something the todorokis in general are my everything in this series (and shigaraki) but I feel like shouto became such a stagnant character and his character arc was done too quick.

Don't get me wrong I know he struggled with things like coming to terms with his power and he still is but I just don't find him particularly interesting enough to carry the todo plot which I hope changes soon. This may also be because endeavor is so heavily involved and highlighted by hori but no matter how much I hate him he is interesting to read about and dabi also (maybe because of his "insanity" and the way he takes such a different approach) but shouto has been falling short for me he is very cute to look at, i want to put him in a blanket and protect him forever but I could also admit he has been an incredibly boring character recently.

Hope he gets the spotlight from his father soon

Oof. I definitely don't think he's boring. I think this is kind of an unpopular opinion but that's definitely okay. It's an opinion, and not necessarily a bad one because Shouto has definitely had his story taken from him up until very recently. And even still, he hasn't completely gotten his story back yet.

And his arc is definitely not over though. However his arc was absolutely eaten by Endeavor's. And I don't particularly blame people for losing interest in Shouto's character. He's barely had any of the focus he deserves. I haven't lost interest at all, because I know his arc is intertwined with Touya's, and I want to see them embrace so bad. I want to see Shouto save his brother, because Touya is loved, regardless of what he's done. I want that message to stick its landing.

Shouto is the hero of his family's sub plot, even though Endeavor was given the POV for the sub plot for....a long time, he's not the hero. He never was.

And I don't think this poor writing choice was the author saying "the abuser's atonement is more important". I think that was the author thinking he had to do that in order to atone the abuser at all. He didn't have to do that, because it's a real fact that abusers atone and families who have suffered abuse do in fact heal and move forward. Sometimes together, sometimes going their separate ways. I personally think and predict that the Todofam will do it together and give Endeavor a place in their lives, which would explain why Hori gave him so much POV time in the story. Even though it was unnecessary, because Endeavor is a character that people aren't normally going to change their opinions on from the get go. And his atonement just isn't going to sit right with some people, while for others it won't bother them. It's just what it is, and no amount of retconning or screen time is going to really change that for people. For the most part, peoples' minds were made up about him once he was introduced to the story. He can still have an atonement arc without stealing the spotlight. But I got off topic.

I think Shouto is one of the better written characters, and more interesting. In fact, out of all the UA kids him and Bakugo are the best handled so far, in my opinion. All the other hero kids are either boring (pretty much all of them) or have interesting story lines but haven't been done justice (Midoriya and Ochacko). The villains are still the best written characters in the whole story, but anyway. Disregarding the screen time stolen from Shouto, his character has real internal struggles and challenges. And I 100% believe we're going to get back to exploring his inner world and his internal struggle with his brother. So far it's been very surface level. "Stop Touya-nii". That's all we've gotten since the reveal, which...means nothing. We have absolutely no idea what he's actually thinking. Because the pacing and the focus of the story just gave us all whiplash and just completely threw all the other characters, aside from Midoriya, AM, and the top 3, to the side after the war arc which I think was really dumb and kinda hurt the flow of the story. But whatever.

I also hope he gets the spot light back soon in his story. I think he will, I think that's actually currently what's happening. His moment of calling out his shitty dad in the school was him getting thrown back into the story. He hasn't had much dialogue since being brought back, but I think that's for a reason. He has a moment coming up. I can feel it. Iida had his moment with Midoriya. Bakugo had his with Midoriya. Ochacko is currently having hers with Midoriya, while also remembering her villain. It would make sense for Shouto to have his with Midoriya, and bringing Touya back into the picture. That talk needs to happen. I hope it goes down that way. I've been waiting for villain talk and I think we're finally getting to that.

#bnha #bnha asks #anonymous #todoroki shouto #boku no hero academia #todoroki touya #todofam

[seventhstar]

reading update 5/8/2022

Very close to hitting my goal :) Have been in a bit of a slump but I'm hoping to pick up the pace.

Currently Reading:

The Way Spring Arrives And Other Stories edited by Yu Chen

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson

Dracula by Bram Stoker

The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake

The Memory Librarian and Other Stories of Dirty Computer by Janelle Monae

I know it looks like a lot, but I can explain. Two short story compilations, which I try to read slowly so that I can enjoy each story. Tyrant is 656 pages long; I would be surprised if I got it finished before it has to go back to the library. I will probably just buy a copy before I have to give it back to the library. Dracula I'm reading via the newsletter everyone and their mother is signed up for now, but I figured it was a good idea to mark it on GR so that I wouldn't forget to log it. And The Atlas Six was an impulse pick up at the library. My threshold to DNF it is very low, because hyped YA fantasy has failed me too many times already.

This is the second time I have checked these out. We'll see if I actually read them!

Ten Book Shortlst:

The Councillor by E. J. Beaton

The First Sister by Linden A. Lewis

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake by Alexis Hall

A Darker Shade of Magic by V. E. Schwab

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

Small Gods by Terry Pratchett

Still need to add a book to this list to bring it back to ten, but I'm waiting until I move because right now I have so many library books, etc.

Reviews:

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saentz

5/5. This was a recommendation from a friend, which I'm glad I accepted because I really enjoyed this book! It's heavily character-driven and really engaging. Very few coming out stories appeal to me these days, but this one stole my heart. My only complaint is that the parents sitting Ari down at the end of the book to tell him he was in love with Dante felt...highly forced. In general that's a trope I dislike.

The Blue Castle by L. M. Montgomery

5/5. An annual read and one of my favorite books ever. I love Valancy with my whole heart, and her jounrey from downtrodden wallflower to a sparkling, witty adventress is wonderful to read every time. Sometimes I open this one up just to read Barney's confession at the end. One of the few romances I have read with a believable third act break up. Recommended to everyone.

The Monster Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson

4/5. Oof. This is a very good book that is losing one star for having a problem I think a lot of second books have: you know it's going to end badly, somehow, and that makes the protagonist's constant suffering so much worse, because you have no hope it'll ever be relieved. The worldbuilding in this book is incredibly strong, and the plot is still engaging, but it's such a trauma conga that it took me two months to read. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens to Baru in book 3 (and book 4, if we ever get book 4).

Learned Reactions by Jayce Ellis

4/5. This was an impulse buy that I kind of regret? It's a romance between two childhood friends who are now in their 30s and successful, but have always had some underlying tension because they're mutually pining to each other. Add a dollop of fake dating and a sudden adoption and you've got this book. I really enjoyed the two leads, and I felt like their connection was great. I also enjoyed reading a book where characters communicate in an adult way. However, I felt like the middle of the book sagged and the conflict felt kind of contrived--these guys are grown adults, why is it taking them so long to get their shit together--and it also has a trope I hate, "every side character is there to tell the leads to hook up" syndrome. Including the adopted kids!

I'm giving this 4 stars because I think my complaints are all pretty subjective and another reader might really enjoy all the stuff that bogged the book down for me. The actual writing is great.

Four Aunties and a Wedding

2/5. Man, these 2022 releases are disappointing. I really enjoyed Dial A for Aunties, and was looking forward to the sequel. But this fell flat for me. It's a retread of the first book but this time there's no internal conflict for any of the characters to overcome. Nathan is a nonpresence, Meddy doesn't change at all and hasn't retained any of her character development from book 1, and the aunties feel like caricatures. There are so many opportunities in this book that go missed. Without any emotional scaffolding to hang them on, the constant hijinks of this book feel forced and cringey. I skimmed the last third or so because I just wanted to know if the ending would be good. It wasn't.

#jellyfish reads

[jake-marshall]

TGAAC: Adventures thoughts

So I finished game 1 last Saturday, and took a brief break from continuing so I could write a fic centered around it (won’t mention what character because ~Spoilers~), and will now continue on to game 2 starting today (albeit, I did start a little of game 2 last week but was so burned out from having marathoned Case 5, I didn’t really vibe with it so I’ll probably just start over).  Here are my, as well as my wife @morpheusdreamt ‘s (who watched parts with me) thoughts on the DGS/TGAAC 1, under the cut.  LOTS OF SPOILERS INCLUDED!  READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

The Adventure of the Great Departure - discounting the fact that it’s the first case and therefore also a super-hand-holdy tutorial, I felt this was one of the stronger first cases in the whole series.  I really enjoyed Jezaill and Hosonaga, and just Kazuma and Ryuunosuke’s dynamic as a whole, even though I knew what was coming.  My complaint about this case was that it felt way too long for a first case - which, I mean, I get in hindsight because of needing to include the right amount of development between Kazuma and Ryuunosuke to make Kazuma’s death effective and to make it more believable that Ryuunosuke takes over as the main lawyer.   But also, it wasn’t satisfying to out Jezaill as the murder (even though I know she has a role in the second game) and then come to find out she probably won’t be punished for it. This lack of satisfaction became a sort of prevailing theme for me throughout the game. The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band - again, another tutorial case that felt way too long.  I’m pretty sure I was drinking the whole time I played this case, with Sholmes being the one to drive me to do it.  As with the first case, the characters stood out for me way more than the case itself. My favorite part of this was watching the bond form between Ryuunosuke and Susato.  As much as I also like Nikolina, I found this case overall to be fairly forgettable. The Adventure of the Runaway Room  - first of all, I haven’t replayed this since completing the game (and therefor completing case 5) but I feel it’s almost necessary to do so to fully grasp this case?  Which is, after having completed the game, something I really like about this case in particular.   I thought McGilded was a fantastic character (and not just because of his resemblence to Handsome Jack :p), and I knew we’d meet Gina and Van Zieks in this case, but I was still thrilled to have it happen.   Upon first playthrough, this case was like the others, extremely frustrating in the sense that I wasn’t really getting anywhere?  That the plot wasn’t going anywhere?  I mean, at least for me, I really had no clue as to how involved McGilded was in Mr. Mason’s death, so kudos to the writers in keeping me guessing.   Overall, this felt like a filler case until you get to the end and realize, oh shit.  It’s not, is it?  And then I wished I would’ve paid more attention to some details, so it’s definitely worth a replay. The Adventure of the Clouded Kokoro - But no, this is the filler case!  And I know some of the characters show up in the 2nd game, but oof.  There was very little I enjoyed about this case on an individual level, and I’m not one to get super salty about ~this is problematic~ but the consistent inclusion of joking about domestic violence made me uncomfortable.   Soseki was a fun character, but the Garridebs and Beates felt over-the-top, and, again, the fact that the attack was actually an accident just made this case feel like, ??? It made me wary of starting the 5th case.  I felt, there’s nowhere I’m going to come away from the game liking it more than “just alright”. The Adventure of the Unspeakable Story -  Let me start by just saying that this is one of my favorite cases in the entire series. So the only things I knew about this case going in was that Gina was the defendant and that Ashley was the killer, but I didn’t know anything regarding motive or his background, or Gina’s whole ordeal with McGilded. Both of their arcs spoke me to quite profoundly.  I thought Gina’s development and her fears and insecurities surrounding trust were so relateable, her self-loathing and resignation to never having anything in life go her way just because of her class.  Of her needing to look out for herself because no one else will, at least not without wanting anything in return.   Like dude, I was crying when she finally accepted Ryuunosuke’s offer to defend her. I don’t really see it brought up (and maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough) about how heavily it contrasts with Ashley’s story, of them both coming from a poor background and both clearly suffering from abandonment issues and how it’s molded them and their perspective on the world and the people in it.  I thought Ashley was so compelling, even though he starts off as a sort of caricature (which I gather was the intention).   His absolute contempt towards McGilded (and clearly at himself, by the end) was so palpable for me, and left me thinking about him and the case for days after completing it. I liked too, that for as many AA cases where the killer will be like “I’m so much ~smarter than you~”, Ashley actually does a pretty good job of backing it up, that it’s more show than tell (his making the deal with Gregson and the fact that what broke most of his testimony was the Skulkins and not things he himself said)  as it tends to be the other way around. I still want to know what went down in the bus between his dad and McGilded.  I have this terrible feeling that Mason went there to tell McGilded to leave his son alone and that he wouldn’t sell the disk.  Which would make it all worse, lol but I’m fine with that. Unless Gina undergoes some sort of terrible devolvement in the 2nd game, I can safely say that she and Ashley have become Top 10 all time AA characters for me, and that’s saying something considering how long and how deeply I’ve loved my faves from the original games. Anyway, getting back on point to the actual games and not just meta on the characters, I liked the pace that Case 5 progressed at, and how it had some expected twists and turns (like Sholmes’s appearance) that weren’t made any less enjoyable by being predictable.  And I didn’t find it terribly difficult but it was still outrageously fun (minus the stereoscope mechanic which I know is just a fucky misfortune given the game was originally designed to incorporate 3DS functions, which are obsolete on the Switch).  I just thought that Case 5 felt like everything that was right in the original series, both gameplay wise and story/character wise. Despite the fact that it hangs on a massive cliffhanger -__-  But luckily i don’t have to wait two years to play the 2nd game, lol. Maybe my opinion of this game will change after I play the 2nd game, but overall my feelings are that it’s enjoyable enough and if you like Ace Attorney, and you’re more invested in the main characters/their development you’ll like it/probably even love it.  For me, the fifth case and it tying together with the third case, specifically the affects it had Ryuu, Van Zieks, and Gina makes the rest of the game worth playing, but the rest of the cases are not as individually satisfying as many of the other cases in the AA series.   I would still recommend this, however, based on how eager it’s made me to want to play the second game opposed to just feeling like I went through all that for nothing (which is sort of my experience when I replay AJ or DD now, not that I still don’t love them).

#the great ace attorney #tgaac spoilers #ace attorney #leanne plays aa

[writerman]

Barduil, sailor dead at sea. Thranduil goes about his life waiting for his husband, waiting for the ship. Only a week from shore, Bard's ship tragically crashes and Bard's body is washed ashore for Thranduil to find. This is devastating of course, perhaps so much that Thranduil has to be stopped, by Legolas, from throwing himself from a cliff onto the jagged rocks below.

First of all, hi Satan how are you? Second of all, big oof this is angst on a whole ‘nother level. I am up to the challenge and I hope this hurts.

There is mention of  su*c*de and attempts of such so please skip this if you feel you are unable to read. I would like to mention there is no mention of blood or physical harm, only the mention of an attempt.

----

POV Legolas

We found you on the beach. 

I’d never seen a dead man before. I had not experienced war or pestilence. 

You were the first of those I had known and loved to perish and to be thrust into my line of sight against my will. You were pale and so cold and yet my father embraced you as if hoping you would return it. 

How long did we spend on that freezing beach?

I don’t recall now, it has been years since I even thought of that moment. 

Even with his back to me, I could see the shaking sobs that wracked his body, and had the wind not howled around us I would have heard the pain been torn from my father’s throat. I stood helpless as he, as delicately as he could with shaking hands, brushed the sand from your face. 

When I moved to his side I was the ghost unnoticed even as I draped my coat over his shoulders to stay the cold from leeching into his bones. His trembling fingers took great care to move the strands of hair from your eyes, though, the warmth from him did not wake you as I assumed he believed it would. 

My voice was caught in my throat and scarcely a whisper came forth as I urged him to take you from the beach but my words went unnoticed. Bard, I am sorry when I tell you I felt revulsion as he kissed your forehead. It took me years after seeing such a thing to understand that devotion does not dissipate once the soul leaves the body. 

You were there to him, you were still there even if your heart did not beat. He could feel you still and the reality that he had lost you had not yet sunk in.

We were only able to bring you to the house when Elrond appeared at my side. I did not hear anything he said to me but then we were walking and the cold of the winter wind was replaced with a blessed warmth of home. 

The fire roared and the heat thawed my hands and face but I was still numb to what happened around me. 

I sought to comfort my father but what words did I have to change anything that had happened? My words would not make him smile, would not still the sharp ache that spilt his chest asunder so that only a gaping void would lay where a heart might have once been. 

You were laid out on the bed that you shared with my father and Elrond tasked himself with washing your face and hands, he dressed you in the finest clothes you owned and my father, he merely stood by the window. His back to the to cliffs the bedroom overlooked, his eyes on you but I am sure he did not see you now and instead saw your life play out for a spell. 

As night drew in my father was animated, pacing and mumbling. Elrond told me it was to be expected but to keep watch of my father until he settled. 

I was woken in the dead of night, the darkness around me so complete I struggled to gain my bearings but the noise that had woken me, a shutter in the wind not latched properly, perhaps?

Knowing my sleep was unbroken until the sun would rise I rose from my bed and sought out light to inspect. 

The hallway was cold, the dead of winter had seeped into our home from an open door that I could see over the bannister from the top of the stairs. I felt dread grip me tightly and I knew my father had left.

I take the stairs as fast as I was able in my sleep-addled state with the candle flickering wildly in my hand and in my haste I take off through the front door without boots. Across the front lawn over the rain-soaked grass, I move with urgency with a now unlit candle.

The moon is my guide but only frequent strobes of light come in bursts from irregular cloud cover but I see him there stood on the cliff edge soaked and unmoving staring out at the sea. 

My heart knew, Bard, it knew before I could fathom a single thing. I dropped the candle in my hand to lurch forward and, for a moment, as he leaned forward and I reached out… I thought I had missed him as my fingers grazed his nightshirt. 

The feeling of leaving my body was intense and I heard from a distance my own voice screaming and there I was with a fistful of his shirt pulling him backwards hard with a strength that surely was not my own.

Relief washed over me as he fell to the ground his pale hands muddied as he caught himself and brought himself back to his feet, anger and sorrow clearly mingled in his expression but he was alive. 

My father could hate me for 100 years and I would still be thankful because he would still be alive. 

For the longest time, I could not leave him out of my sight and I grew weary ‘til we fought and screamed. Many words let into the air we would regret and apologies would be muttered in passing and our relationship suffered but I would not let it go. 

He never slept in that room again, where they laid you out for the last time. Even after you were long gone and your memory celebrated with the pyre on the beach. He said it would not do to sleep in a bed where he once felt you next to him to never feel you again. 

I recall thinking how love was an awful thing to experience. I didn’t wish for it, yearn or long for it. I was happy to see out my days as a companion to no one but I was young and I know I was foolish to think I could not love another. 

When I met someone and found my time to leave my family home I was hesitant but my father told me it was the greatest leap of faith to hand your heart to another. To experience life was to take those risks and so I left. 

I would keep up a correspondence with him as much as I could and I would ask Elrond to ensure his health was at it’s best but in the end, I knew his tenuous grip on life was crumbling and he had waited for my life to start before he would allow his to end. 

Elrond wrote to me that one night my father went to bed and simply did not wake.

It is my hope that he is now reunited with you, Bard. I think he waited long enough for that.

#Barduil #Bard the bowman #Thranduil #Writing Prompt #morticia-butler

[loveofafangirl]

The Heart of a Hero

[Steve Rogers Masterlist]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC (teacher) Setting: Post EndGame, Present Day-- Upstate New York Word Count: ~ 1,550

Synopsis: Steve finds himself inexplicably drawn to the small town he stumbled upon a week earlier. His visit leaves him wondering who he is without the shield. This is a sequel to A Chance Encounter.

The sea of trees broke into a blanket of green and brown speckled grass. His pace slowed as he spun in place, letting the memories fade back, and the small town came into view. He jogged lightly; something about the place seemed familiar. As he reached the town center, he realized why. He had come out in a different area but, it was still the same town he had happened upon last week.

He slowed to a walk, studying the people and buildings. It was just like the last time, calm and quaint. People walked and chatted rather than buzz about busily. Before he realized it, he was in view of the same bench.  

A lilting laugh across the street pulled his attention. Something inside of him warmed at the sound; a whispered fluttering threatened to calm the storm raging inside of him. However, the feeling flickered out quickly as his gaze settled upon a woman he had never seen before. 

He shook his head, trying to reconcile that feeling. Walking away and heading back in the direction he had come from, he took one final look back to the bench. He couldn’t help but wonder how in all of the miles and miles of wilderness and small towns, he had happened upon the same one twice. 

“Thank you, Marco.” She proceeded out the door, turning back to pay the elderly shop owner one last goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiled, taking a sip of her iced pumpkin latte and not looking ahead. “Oof—”

His strong arms steadied her this time, skillfully supporting her drink so that nothing spilled. 

Her gaze settled on his torso, recognizing it as the same as before. (Not many men in her town had abs that even through a shirt, appeared to be cut from the smoothest marble.) Her face couldn’t have warmed more even under the worst sunburn. 

“We have got to stop meeting like this.” 

She expected his tone to be harsh, but it was gentle and even more, had an air of amusement. 

Realizing his arms still held her, he took a step back. The vibrant blue of her dress began to trigger memories as it pulled him back to the shield and that fateful day. It had fractured effortlessly, in a way he hadn’t known possible. 

“I’m so sorry. I swear I’m not usually this clumsy.” 

Her words drew him back. “I was looking for—I was just distracted. It was my fault.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, stealing enough confidence to finally look at the man with whom she had not once, but twice, collided. Confusion swept across her face as she processed what she saw. “Oh my gosh! You’re… You’re, well, you!”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish grin on his face. Words failed as he attempted to explain. He wasn’t that person, not who she thought he was. Not anymore.

She tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. Her thoughts bounced curiously as to how this was possible. How was he here? And if he was here, were they in danger? 

The awkward silence that fell between them broke as the voices of a small group gathered nearby. Their murmurs grew as their phones flashed, taking photo after photo of the celebrity gracing their streets. 

His previously relaxed gaze darted around him; people drew nearer, begging for his attention. Since bringing back the Infinity Stones and deciding to return to the future, Steve had kept a low profile, rarely going out in public or seeing anyone, choosing instead to occupy his time with building his woodland escape.

She reached out, grazing his arm lightly before recoiling back. “Sorry!” Her face reddened again. “I thought I might have bumped my head, and this was all a dream. My students will never believe I met you.”

“This is real.” His expression was more somber than she anticipated. His focus split between the woman in front of him and the crowd closing in.

“The kids would just—no, sorry! I can’t ask that,” she rambled, covering her face with her hand. She started to turn before deciding to continue. “If you ever want to stop by. I mean—” her fingers fiddled with her ID badge around her neck. “—you don’t have to, I’m sure you’re really busy… it's just, the kids would love to meet you. It would mean a lot to them.”

His brow furrowed as he considered her words. 

“Can I take a picture with you?” 

“Cap, look this way.”

“Quick, take the picture!”

The crowd wedged in, split them apart as Steve reluctantly obliged the townspeople. 

“I’m not who you think I am.” His attention shifted back to her. “I’m not him anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” she said nervously, noting the uncertainty and discomfort on his face, assuming she was the cause. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” Her head hung a little lower as she turned away.

“Wait!” 

She hastened her step, attempting to make a discrete retreat while the crowd demanded his attention. She hadn’t meant to make him feel uncomfortable or presume to think he did not have more important things to do, but why was he there? And twice in such a short period of time. Her stomach turned remembering, that both times she had embarrassed herself. How did she ever let herself imagine she could live in a city and have adventures of her own one day. She could barely handle a conversation on the street.

“I’m sorry. Okay, just one more. Quickly..” Steve attempted to dismiss the crowd. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.” The disappointed group attempted to follow him. “I’m sorry,” he offered once more before skillfully maneuvering through the masses. With a few long steps, he had caught up to her. “Can we talk?”

“It’s okay. I overstepped.” She continued hurriedly along.

“It’s not that. It’s just—I’m trying to leave that life behind. I’m not him anymore.”

“I wasn’t asked for Captain America.” She stopped, gazing gently at him and carefully considering her next words. “I asked for Steve Rogers. The man behind the shield and the uniform is more of a hero than the one with it. I’ve attempted to instill in my students that being a hero is more than money, technology, weapons, or even super-soldier abilities. It begins in the heart. The heart of a hero is something that is nurtured, and once established, no one can take it from them. I believe Steve Rogers has a heart such as this. A heart that goes beyond the mask or the shield and beyond the team that stood behind him. A heart that at its core is good, right, courageous, and just. That makes a hero. Choosing kindness, finding ways to help, and noticing the good in others even when it's hard to see. If that doesn’t describe you, then you're not the man I thought you were. But if it does, maybe you need to remember who you were before all of this.” She gestured to the lingering crowd just out of earshot. “I want the man who threw himself on the grenade to protect people that saw him as nothing. That heart. That man. He was always more than enough.”

His countenance softened as he listened to her words. They were so different from the rhetoric he was used to hearing. He knew he wasn’t the symbol people wanted him to be anymore, but he didn’t know if he was still that man anymore either. He had seen more than he ever believed could come to pass, suffered more, lost more. The world wasn’t that simple anymore. There were a lot of shades of grey now. She made being a hero sound like a modern fairytale, where good always won, but the truth was, the world was so much darker than that. A heavy expression grew on his face as the curious crowd moved in once more. “I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

Without another word, he rushed past her, determined to put distance between him and the town, the crowd, and her. He picked up speed, sprinting out of the town and away from all it made him feel. He needed the freedom of the forest and its quietness to quell his thoughts. The memories flooded back, threatening to drown him, so he pushed harder and faster. This had been his only escape. His brow grew moist with the lightest mist of sweat as his body battled the reminders of the past that haunted him and the adrenaline coursing through him, but more so, the anger he had been secretly harboring for all the death and destruction he had helped cause.

Whispers of why the super-soldier had come circulated through the town over the next few days. It was, after all, the most exciting thing that had happened there in a long time. They didn’t get celebrities. They didn’t even get everyday visitors, just the occasional lost traveler. She went about her days, wondering if any of it had happened. It seemed like a dream. Had she really given Steve Rogers a speech on being a hero? She was mortified at the thought. No wonder he had run off. Her cheerful heart sunk a little after that day. What did she know about being a hero? Nothing. That’s what. Perhaps, she was the fraud all along. 

Perma(til the end of the line): @the-soot-sprite​

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future Steve stories. 💖

#steve rogers #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original character #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers fan fiction #captain america fan fiction #captain america x oc #captain rogers #marvel fan fiction #mcu fan fiction #steve rogers original story #steve rogers x teacher

[kimbertsurprise]

where you land is where i’d like to be

i got sad and wanted to write about boys in love, so this is a very soft very self-indulgent almost 3k. also on ao3 here

Kravitz slips into the back of the auditorium, tugging his gloves off and tucking them into his pocket. He runs a hand down his locs, leaving droplets sticking to his skin. It’s snowing outside. The first snow of the season, which Kravitz probably should find beautiful. But right now it’s just cold and wet, and his nerves are tingling.

The auditorium is warm, though, and Kravitz shakes it off as he steps inside. He has always loved this place. The high, arched ceilings, the red fabric seats – every time he sees it, he’s reminded of the first concert he went to as a boy. So much has changed since then, but the majesty of a theater never will. 

Plus, the voice echoing through the hall doesn’t hurt.

Taako stands on stage, glittering as much as the snow falling outside. He likes to show off for his students, Kravitz knows – a sparkling cape here, a firework there. Today he is gleaming in knee high boots and a billowing white blouse, gold climbing up his ears.

“Wrong,” Taako says as Kravitz steps through the door and settles himself against the wall. “Bond theory has nothing to do with ghosts, are you even trying?” A beam of light shoots from Taako’s finger and into the audience, followed quickly by an “oof” and a round of laughter from the other students. “Bad answers get purple hair. Next!”

Kravitz grins. Taako rarely handles a guest lecture the same way twice, but this feels exactly like him – a bit of mischief, a bit of drama. Another student raises a hand from a few rows down. “Bonds!” he shouts, and Kravitz swallows a laugh.

“Are you kidding?” Taako throws his hands into the air, and gold bracelets sparkle down his arm. The ones Kravitz got him for their anniversary a few months ago. “Did you just answer the question ‘How do bonds interact with the material plane’ with ‘bonds’? If you don’t look like Taako you can’t get away with that, bubbelah.” He paces the stage, scanning across the audience. Until his eyes land on Kravitz leaning against the wall, and he stops.

Kravitz offers a tiny nod and a smile, and Taako’s answering grin lights up his face. 

It hasn’t gotten old yet, the realization that Kravitz can make him smile like that. There are a million versions of Taako’s smile, when he’s willing to use it: half-lifted and smirking, sharp and all teeth, soft and sleepy. It never stops feeling like a miracle when Kravitz is the one to pull them out. 

He never expected to feel like this. He enjoyed his work on the Astral Plane; he knew it was important, and the time alone never bothered him. But Kravitz never expected to feel alive again, not in any real way. Until he met Taako, glowing in pink crystal; until his hands were cracked with clay and an umbrella was trying to attack him. It’s the way Taako’s whole family makes him feel, really. They are a mess and a thorn in his side but they bump against each other so beautifully that Kravitz can’t help but feel grateful to be a part of it.

He was chosen for the promise of his power, once. It doesn’t quite feel real that now he’s chosen for just who he is. 

“How ‘bout you, kemosabe?” Taako continues, pulling Kravitz back from his thoughts and into the warm, crowded hall. Taako’s eyes haven’t left Kravitz, and his smile has an edge of mischief. “Got anything to say about bonds?”

The students are all looking at him. Whispers have started – they shuffle around the hall like blowing leaves. “Is that –” “It’s not, he looks so normal!” “But why would he be here –”

Kravitz grins at the twinkle in Taako’s eye and starts down the aisle. If Taako wants a show, he’ll put on a show. “Whaddyou know about ghosts, guvnah?” he asks, and barely keeps it together as Taako’s face lights with laughter. 

Kravitz is a few steps closer to the stage before Taako manages to control himself enough to respond. “I hear they’re very spooky.”

“That’s a common misconception, that is,” Kravitz replies, now climbing up the stairs. “Ghosts are just like you and me.”

Taako is grinning like a cat. “Is that so?”

“Well,” Kravitz says, dropping the accent and gathering his power, “maybe more like me than you.”

Taako’s burst of laughter is covered by the gasps from the audience as Kravitz’s scythe appears in his hand. The feathers of his robe are a little ruffled around his collar – they always are, when he transforms so quickly like this – but it’s worth it to see the kid in the front row literally fall out of his chair. 

The room roars, whispers turning into shouts. “Did he –” “My mom is going to DIE when she hears this –” “He’s the actual Grim Reaper –”

“Class dismissed!” Taako shouts over the din. “Ask Ren about anything that’s due this week, I have no fucking clue!”

Kravitz keeps his Reaper form as the students straggle away, some glancing over their shoulders as if to see what’s going to happen. It’s only when the last backpack disappears through the door that he sinks back to the desk where Taako is, tucking his scythe back into a pocket realm. “Tough lecture?” 

Taako stacks a few papers and taps them on the desk. “They wouldn’t know genius if it hit them in the face. Or got projected straight into their brains.”

“It must be hard for your school to be full of such amateurs.”

“You have no idea.”

Kravitz steps around the desk and reaches out, skin melting into place over his skeletal form. “Anything I can do?”

Taako hums and touches his fingertips to Kravitz’s. “Maybe I have an idea…”

Kravitz’s lips reform smiling, and are immediately pressed against Taako’s. It’s nice. It’s more than nice, really, still somewhat overwhelming with how wonderful it feels – until Taako pulls back.

“Cold face, yowza.”

“Comes with the territory, I’m afraid.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be getting all warm with love?” Taako’s face, so close to Kravitz’s, scrunches up in discomfort.

“It’s snowing,” Kravitz replies, deadpan, and then smiles as Taako’s uncomfortable expression morphs into disgust.

Taako gets cold, is the thing. He will sacrifice for the sake of fashion, but he is constantly stealing Kravitz’s sweaters and tucking himself into blankets. It’s not a rare occurrence to come home to a couch piled with knitted afghans, Taako barely a lump underneath them. Kravitz would usually open a rift and bring them both home immediately to climb in bed.

But the world is blank and quiet tonight. And, despite the entrance he made, Kravitz has a question to ask.

He brushes a finger down the bracelets and threads his fingers through Taako’s as they chime. “Would you walk with me?”

“Would I –” Taako huffs. “It’s snowing.”

“We covered that already, yes.”

“Taako doesn’t do snow without good reason,” Taako says, and tucks his hands into Kravitz’s pockets. It brings his face pressing hot into Kravitz’s neck.

“It’s a new world to see. You love those, don’t you?”

Taako’s long-suffering sigh sends goosebumps shivering down Kravitz’s neck. “Already seen enough of ‘em, my man, but sure. You’re handsome and you’re asking. Taako’ll freeze his butt off for a walk.”

Kravitz smiles and disentangles himself to help Taako into his coat – long, purple, soft. It was a gift from Lup two Candlenights ago. “It won’t be long.”

“Better not be,” Taako mumbles as they make their way back up the aisle. “Risking my life for a walk in the snow, saved the multiverse and this is what I get…”

It’s a silent cold when they step outside – the kind that makes everything pause, that pockets the world and holds it still. For a few moments, the only sound is the whisper of Taako’s boots kicking snowdrifts aside. 

Taako is the one to break the silence. “Okay, fine. It’s pretty.”

Kravitz hums in agreement without really thinking about it. “Reminds me of home.”

“Of the Astral Plane?”

Kravitz laughs. “Not really – it is cold there, I guess, but no. Of home. It’s one of the few memories I have from before, walking to get water out of the well before it froze over.”

Taako is quiet for a moment. Then he finally says, “That sounds shitty, my dude, gotta be honest.”

Kravitz huffs a laugh. “It wasn’t completely. I remember hot chocolate when I got back.”

Taako tucks himself more comfortably against Kravitz’s arm and kicks at another snow drift. “Must’ve been nice, coming back to a family.”

“Better than most things,” Kravitz replies quietly. Taako doesn’t often mention his time before the Institute. Occasionally he drops a small comment or a hint – always sad. Kravitz’s heart, old as it is, twinges to hear them. But as much as he wants to, he knows to let them go unremarked. 

And, well, it’s not the perfect segue… but if he doesn’t say something now he’ll lose his nerve. “Taako?”

Taako pauses to look at him. There’s a glow over his face, cast by one of the new streetlights brought on by Lucas’s world-stealing. It paints the panes of his cheeks in bright gold. The shadows under his eyes look more pronounced. He is so beautiful Kravitz feels his heart stop.

“What do you think of making us a family? You and me.” The way Taako’s ears flick back makes Kravitz nervous, but he’s started now and he can’t stop. “I know you have Lup already and I would never want to intrude on that, ever, and Barry and Magnus and Merle – everyone that loves you so much and knows you so well, but I –” Kravitz pulls in a deep breath, trying to get air into his long-dead lungs. “I’d like to be your family too, I think. If you’ll have me. If you’re interested.”

Taako blinks. And is quiet for long enough that Kravitz feels his heart spiral down into his stomach. It’s too much. This was too much, too soon, and Kravitz is suddenly adding, “It’s okay if you’re not, though. I love things just the way they are, I love you, and I wouldn't –”

“Krav.” 

Kravitz stops his messy, stumbling mouth. And Taako continues, tilting his head to the side, “What are you asking, exactly?”

In for a penny, in for a pound, they say. So as frosted air puffs from his mouth, Kravtiz bends down to one knee. The cold barely registers; he’s used to it, after all.

“I… Taako, I love you. I can’t imagine my existence without you, which is silly because I’ve been around a very long time and –” he takes another breath and watches it spiral out around him, pointedly looking everywhere but up. “I know nothing has been traditional between us, and I love that. I love you, did I say that already? And I was hoping that maybe you’d want to, well, somewhat untraditionally...” the velvet box is out of his pocket, popped open by numb fingers that have nothing to do with the weather. “Marry me?”

At the last words, Kravitz finally manages to lift his eyes enough to see Taako’s face. His eyes are wide, and Kravitz can’t tell if the light in them is reflection or tears. “Love?” he asks, and starts to get up. “Did I – oh, Taako, I didn’t mean to make you cry –”

“You are so dumb,” Taako interrupts, voice high, and then Kravitz’s mouth is full of his hair as Taako darts forward into a hug.

“Oh,” Kravitz says. And then, “Is that a yes?”

Taako pulls back and Kravitz feels all the places he’s missing as the cold hits his cheek. “Is that a – fuck, Bones, are you kidding? Gimme the thing –”

Taako’s hands are fumbling, and Kravitz is too lost to recognize what to do for a moment. “The – oh, the ring, I –” He opens the box again from where it is tucked in his hand and Taako lets out a shout of laughter. 

“You didn’t –” Taako says delightedly, tugging the ring out of its cushion. 

“I thought it would be appropriate,” Kravitz says, smiling a bit sheepishly. The pink stone glints in the streetlight, tourmaline cut and shining like a star. Maybe he should be embarrassed by the gesture. But Kravitz can’t feel anything but light and relief and such deep, impossible joy. He feels like he could fly. He watches Taako slip the ring on his finger and his body feels incandescent.

Until Taako laughs, “Uh, babe? Was gonna give you a shot at these lips but that’s tough when you’re ballin out.”

And Kravitz realizes he’s lost his physical form, now floating in front of Taako in an orb of light. 

Immediately, he begins the process of stitching his body back together, building hands and eyes and hair. His heart, when he comes to, is pounding in a way it hasn’t since he was alive. “Sorry,” he says breathlessly, and then can’t get anything else out before Taako is kissing him.

“You are such a dork,” Taako mumbles after a minute, their faces still pressed together.

“Yes,” Kravitz agrees, catching Taako’s lips again.

“Can’t believe you got me a pink crystal ring, that is so tacky.”

“It is.” Kravitz presses a kiss to Taako’s nose, his eyes, his cheeks.

“Lup is going to lose her mind.”

“She is, I know.”

“You turned into a light ball! What the fuck!”

“That was… embarrassing, I admit.”

“Krav?” Taako is flushed, his eyes bright. Hair is falling out of his cap and brushing his cheeks, and the streetlight makes it shine a bright, burnished gold. “You’re kind of perfect.”

Kravitz lifts their hands together, bundles Taako’s up into his, and presses a kiss to his gloves. Everything is warm. Everything feels like sunlight. “You too, love.”

“Natch, Taako’s the best,” Taako replies, but his eyes are gleaming and he threads his hand through Kravitz’s. 

Snow flutters down around them. Kravitz can’t help it – he runs his thumb, again and again, over the stone under Taako’s glove. 

Their wedding will be a sensation, a show – or it will be nothing, an easy dinner, just for them. Taako will surprise him, he always does. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is quieter – the breakfasts and the late nights and the debates over scrolls to watch. All the spaces in between, the heartbeats he can now count. The soft warmth of feeling that this family is his future.

With Taako’s hand in his and snow falling light and buttery around them, Kravitz takes a breath and lets himself finally settle into the feeling of home.

#taz #taz balance #taakitz #my writing #it's just sometimes it snows and i miss people #so my brain says please write about love #and i say okay

[writingmyheartsout]

I’ll be good..(..for all of the times that I never could)

Another fluff December story...this one is sweet and a bit sad...and long (for my own standards). Although the length, it’s an easy read like the rest of the series...i just get wordy sometimes..

An au where Dogma doesn’t get to prison and gets reassigned to the Coruscant Guards.

There may be errors but @plexflexico​ said it was good so i trust her <3

warnings: sadness, light mention of war, tears

pairing: Dogma x reader

words: almost 2k (so the full story is under the cut)

prompt: standing/sitting quietly together

so anyway, Dogma never had a tag number canonically, so for the sake of the story i made it up.

Flashbacks in italic

__

As soon as the news was made public, the first thing Dogma thought was to see you, to hold you, to be soothed just like you were able to do... so, as soon as it was possible, he left his station, in spite of orders, and ran, ran through the narrow streets of Coruscant, past all the different levels of the city until he found himself in front of your door, but he didn't have time to even knock that you opened the door.

There were no words, you just stared at each other for a moment and the second after he hugged you there on the doorstep, holding you against him as if he was afraid you might disappear at any minute, burying his face in the crook of your neck and finally breaking into tears. He felt overwhelmed, by everyone and everything, and being in your arms right now was the only happy place he could think of wanting to be. Celebrations would surely follow but none of those mattered to him now, he just craved silence and warmth after all the chaos he had suffered.

_

When you two first met it was purely by accident, he was on his way to his reassignment to the Coruscant Guards after the whole mess that was Umbara and you were there to make a complaint. In fact, right after the last sweep on the lower levels, your diner had suffered some serious property damage and you were looking for a solution, even if it meant going up to the ground level and pestering some troopers.

Both of you were in the lounge area, you had just done yelling at some young boy whose armor wasn't quite red enough yet, who assured you that one of the Commanders would come down to talk to you and that he was sorry for the whole thing, he was just waiting to be received by Commander Fox himself, with his new armor as pristine and white as the first time he was off Kamino.

"What did you do?" you asked as soon as you entered the room, bored and tired of wasting any more time.

"Excuse me?" he answered in confusion, barely turning his head to look at you and trying to figure out if he had seen you somewhere before.

"I mean, did you break any laws or ... code that all you guys have?" you repeated, not entirely interested in what he might have to say, you were just looking for something to help pass the time.

"They're called regulations" he pointed out in annoyance..." and I don't think it's any of your business why I'm here" he added then, with a visible frown on his face.

"Alright...okay" you gave up, raising your hands in mock surrender "...it was just a question".

He didn't answer you further, due to the fact that another soldier showed up right after, his armor red from head to toe, who called him into his office.

"CT-5390, Dogma..come with me, I already have your new assignment," he instructed authoritatively, he had his helmet tucked under his arm but he still instilled fear.

Then he turned to you briefly, looking you dead in the eyes.

"I heard about your complaint, I'll let you know that Commander Stone will be here in a minute" and with that, he turned around and left.

Dogma, in response, quickly stood up and followed him but not before looking briefly in your direction and politely saying...  

"good day, ma'am" followed by a slight nod of his head.

_

"Are you okay?" you asked him moments later.

He was still in your arms, hugging you as much as he could, refusing to let go of you and he didn't care how tired he might feel, he needed to feel whole again.

"No..." he cried, another sob slipping from him.

"What else can I do to make you feel better?" you pressed again.

" Just hold me... I don't need anything else right now..." he answered quietly, his words slightly muffled by your shirt.

"Okay... but you might catch a cold out here..." you stated.... " get inside, come sit on the couch at least."

"Okay..." he replied, pulling slightly away from you.

He was tired, you could see it on his face, but there was also some kind of relief underneath, a renewed hope that hopefully would turn into a new beginning with him.

Once he was settled on your couch, you remained up in front of him, arms around his neck, watching him softly.

"So tell me, what exactly happened?"

_

The second time you saw him, he was out patrolling your level with a new squad of troopers, nothing much just overall security, considering that all the main battalions had been sent off to war and two of the Commanders were unavailable, there wasn't much else to do.

You were late for your shift, the second time this week, by this point you already knew that your friend and business partner was going to be very pissed.

It was just a week since you had reopened and things still weren't going so well.

As you tried to send a message while picking up your pace, you didn't notice what was in front of you and soon ran into a hard surface that turned out to be a trooper's armor

"oof...sorry" you quickly apologized..." I didn't see where I was going...I was in a rush"

"Don't worry, ma'am...are you okay?" the trooper in front of you promptly said, taking off his helmet quickly.

"Yeah...I guess," you started to say...but once you got a better look at him, you realized...

"Dogma?..." it slipped out of your mouth even before you could stop yourself, however when you saw his confused expression you added...." I... sorry, I'm good at memorizing names, I remember them very quickly and you probably don't remember me either...".

For the first time in your life, under his curious gaze, you were feeling slightly self-conscious.

"I... I have to say I feel like I know you..." he stuttered out at first, only to regain his composure shortly after"... I'm sorry, I'm still on duty, ma'am... we have to finish our shift for today..." he then said putting his helmet back on.

"Well, yeah sure... I have to get going too anyway, but if you... or the others are tired later, come by my diner, you can't miss it, it's the only one with the bright green sign with a snake on it..." you offered, addressing them all but with your attention still on Dogma, only to run off afterward.

After that he stood there for several seconds more, watching you leave, still baffled that anyone could even remember his name...

That very same night, after they finished their shift, the entire squad came over to your diner and although Dogma was still a little hesitant to let himself go, you still were able to get him to relax a bit.

_

He heartily smiled at your question...

So much had happened since you'd last seen each other, he'd been gone for weeks and everything had changed in a matter of seconds.

"Where do I start?..." he said.

"Wherever you want... anything you want to tell me," you just told him ... "I'm here to listen, Dogma...like I always do."

Oh, how he had missed you, your patience, the way you talked to him, the way you actually listened no matter what he had to said and the love you had for him that he felt like he didn't always deserve.

"The war is over... but you already know that," he stated.... "it seems like it's always been an inside job," eventually adding more, trying to better explain.

You just nodded to his words, giving him the time to process all the things he had been through.

" Alright, are you okay? And how is everyone else?..." you tried for more, without overstressing him.

"I...I'm fine, I guess," he admitted, wrapping his arms around you again and placing his head on your stomach..." as for the others... I actually don't know, I just...I just heard that all battalions had been ordered to return."

"...and that's good...now, what do you need?" you again asked ....  "what can I do for you?"

"I just want to sleep...and keep hugging you, please" he mumbled, eventually calming down.

His pure confession made you chuckle at how honest and lovely it was but watching him relax in your arms made your heart a little tighter.

_

After that, you met again, rather by chance.

It was at the Guard's general offices, the time he was stationed there handling paperwork and you were there with yet another complaint. What had happened was pretty simple, one of your suppliers was blocked just off the planet and had been denied landing, making your job a lot slower and almost impossible. So the best solution you could think of was going straight to the source and asking what was going on.

When you arrived, there was no one around and the offices were mostly empty except for one, so you tried your luck and went to see if anyone could help you out and fix this mess...

"Hi, is there someone I can ask about a complaint?..." you inquired, peeking into the room.

"Nature of the problem? ..." the trooper replied, visibly annoyed...

"Security...I think..." you began to explain and as you quickly stepped inside... "one of my suppliers has been denied access to the planet, I would like to know why" you continued, asking the man in front of you, although his attention was still on the report in front of him.

"Suspected smuggling most likely...but it could be worse" he vaguely stated.... " freighter model and cargo description?" he then added further still without ever looking up.

"A VCX-100, an old model actually, and it was just my monthly supply of Meiloorun juice and Corellian beer" you pointed out...". Roj is not a smuggler, I've known him since he was a little boy" you replied a little more vehemently, putting both hands on the desk and getting closer to the trooper.

"Now, take a good look at me, and help me sort out this little problem... partly because I don't want any more hassle with you."

"Listen, ma'am..." he began, lifting his head and finally looking at you.... going speechless for a brief moment.

It was you once again, and even though he was dead tired... he felt strangely happy to see you.

"Oh..." you yelped, taken aback to see that it was Dogma "...sorry...".

"No, please...I'm...I was just really tired..." he quickly apologized.... "please, take a seat and tell me again about what happened."

Despite the initial rough start, your problem was quickly solved and on that same day, you also learned how, the trooper called Dogma, was indeed nice and quite talkative, despite an initial wariness. You left the office a few hours later with a smile on your face, but not before leaving him your personal contact…

_

Days passed after that night, many others after the day that changed all, things around you were now beginning to shift and improve for the better.

When others only saw a traitor once, someone who wasn’t worthy enough love and attention, you saw a man who loved too much and ended up broken, a man who needed directions and assurance, not just orders and rules, a man who now was free from everything that used to hold him back and ready to live once again.

__

For this personal fluff December i wanted to do more, but time and real life is not by my side...so that means that there will be just another one (i have to choose who..) Unfortunately i don’t cope very well with stress so i usually write small...

Anyway, hope you like it :)

reblogs, comments or just generals interactions are welcome :)

#star wars the clone wars #star wars #current fandom: star wars the clone wars #dogma x reader #dogma needs more love #dogma is underrated #i love him very much your honor #clone wars fanfics #star wars fanfiction #star wars writing #writemyheartsout's writing

[cat-tastr0phe]

hello new ppl, today sucks so imma talk about the two shows i binged last night to try and not break down for a 4th time today. 

talking about Jujutsu Kaisen and Onyx Equinox, will probably have spoilers so don’t read if you don’t want them!

Jujutsu Kaisen:

so for starters, i usually love mappa animes so i had high hopes for this one, especially with how much others seem to like it but i gotta be real guys, it wasn’t a fav

i plan to keep watching it bc i DO like the characters and animation but the story isn’t rly hitting it for me. perhaps i’ve grown out of the need for torture porn anime but god i could do without all the death/violence/needless depressing shit

also the pacing in this anime is whiplash inducing. its not that its hard to follow, bc most of the story is linear thus far, but it just. feels so off??? like one second he’s being told ‘we’re gonna execute u’ and the next he’s having idle conversation while picking up his grandpa’s ashes like WHAT LMAO

fushigoro’s hair will forever irritate me, also

gorou is a zaddy tho, hello sir, pls remove ur blindfold more mmm yes

ok but the story- so i get that this whole show/story is centered on the idea of negativity and curses and basically exorcising demons, so ofc its gonna go into the ‘life or death, humanity judgement day’ point of conversation but when i tell u i’m so tired of this philosophical bs being put on a pedestal in anime BOI

when junpei shows up and u show me copious amounts of scenes of him being abused and tortured relentlessly, OVER MULTIPLE EPISODES, alongside all this death bullshit throughout the show, ONLY TO KILL THE POOR KID AFTER THEY KILL HIS MOM- i’m out man, i cANNOT

i didn’t even have time to develop some form of attachment to the character, i just felt bad for him. why are you going to introduce this tortured person who is lost just to kill him? its so blegh story-telling it kills me

and for what, to just??? motivate the protag?? make him question his already questionable humanity??????? what is the point, pls explain

in general by the time i caught up to the most recent eps i was already fairly drained mentally. i don’t think its a good thing for a show to drain u LOL

i THINK i’ll keep up with it for a bit just to see if it goes in any sort of a better direction, but idk

love the opening tho. would also love some explanation on the panda

Onyx Equinox:

so also another violent anime but this one at least feels idk purposeful???? bc its portraying creatures that are blood thirsty and idk it just made more sense in my brain

i didn’t think i’d be a fan of the animation, but its actually p good! the style is comfortable, and the gore is like- while still gross/icky, its cartoonish enough that i don’t feel icked out

the voice acting is okay, tho Izel’s has got me uh,,, oof. not a fav, is all. 

also i curse like a sailor but the cursing in this show forever felt random and out of place, like i could do without like 80% of it

ALSO i kno the point is that Izel is like, the worst humanity’s got but CAN SOMEONE CUT THE KID SOME SLACK. half this show was nonstop bullying this 13 yr old, liKE CAN WE PLS,, HE LOST HIS SISTER, TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF, NOW IS A PUPPET FOR THE GODS PLS SOMEONE JUST HUG HIM OR SMTH

which i kno, Yun does eventually, don’t think i didn’t see the hints show, i think i’m picking up what ur putting down

gotta say for a split second i was like ‘well idk if anything like that will be in this show tho, doesn’t totally fit and its a first of its kind kinda show-’ and then there was the orgy scene and im like ‘o nvm’

K’in annoys me a bit, sorry not sorry, he’s like too much of a shit-head bro for me

regardless of all the suffering and struggle porn that this show does have (sorry guys, there’s a lot of struggle porn and u have to admit it) i did genuinely find myself rooting for these kids and that’s a good sign to me

if u can make me care and make me wanna see them prevail, good job. s’not like its that hard to do but i don’t usually watch animes with this much violence that don’t completely make me not care whats happening

i REALLY hope this gets a s2 bc i wanna see where its going!!!! also mad i never realized that fucking heron is probably nelli, how dumb am i

i’d love to hear what others think about these shows, cus currently no one in my friend group has watched both or is far along in them to be able to chat so!!!! 

#onyx equinox #onyx quinox spoilers #jjk spoilers #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #drabbles #anime thoughts #overall i'd give jjk a 7/10 thus far and onyx like an 8/10 #i wanna see more convo about onyx no one sleep on this show plsssss