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imaginaryf1shots · 8 months

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My Girls (|V)

Words count: 5K

Driver!oc X Max Verstappen

Platonic!Driver!oc X the grid

Summery: Cecilia Hansson daughter of a Swedish billionaire, a race car driver, with a dream of making it big in Formula 1. However she has a few secrets that may hurt her as women are disliked in the sport.

Series Warnings: google translated french, dutch, cursing, child abandment, absent father, drinking, car accidents, Jos Verstappen, misogyny, Christian horner (tell me if i missed anything)

A/N: This is a secondary blog so I won't be able to respond but I'm adding you all, just send it in the ask me anything if I missed ou by mistake.

Masterlist

Previous || Next

Winter love

Finally it’s the end of the year break, a couple of months to have fun and let loose, I mean have fun before Covid hits, but no one knows about that yet.

Lando was back in the UK and he kept asking Cecilia to get on the sim for them to race a little in the F1 2019 game.

Lando(on call)

Come on Cece, why won’t you just get on for a little race?

Cecilia

Lando i swear to god how many times do I have to tell you that I have a daughter who I haven’t spent-

Lando/Cecilia

Much time with her and like to spend some-

Cecilia

You’re an asshole

They laughed as she shook her head at his antics, to her Lando felt like the little brother she never had.

Lando

Come on, she sleeps at what? 8?

Cecilia

half past seven

Lando

See, besides you need to keep up your hard work, just because you came 5th in the championship and won Rookie of the year doesn’t mean you can slack off.

Cecilia

Piss off Norris, we just finished last week

Lando

So while everyone is slacking you should be having fun with me, we haven’t done a race in a long time

Cecilia

Fine, I’ll text you when I put Nattie to bed

Lando

Cool, now let me talk to my niece, I miss her

Cecilia

I don’t understand you

Lando

You don't have to

Switching to facetime, Lando talked with Nattie for a while before she had to eat.

True to her words that night Cecilia put Nattie to bed, she read her a story and sang her a song, Nattie fell asleep hugging Cecilia and it took everything for her to leave her asleep and not just spend the night in her daughter’s bed.

She texted Lando that she’ll be ready in a couple minutes. Lando got excited and texted her that he’s ready. Turning on her PS5, she got ready and had discord open on her laptop next to her, it seemed like Lando forgot to tell her that they weren’t going to be the only ones, he had some of his friends and Alex as well, she didn’t really mind, she’s met Lando’s friends in the passing before when they came to the paddock.

Everything was going great, they chose the track, who they’d be playing as, Cecilia of course chose herself. But you can’t have everything, not evening a nice game with your friends.

“Cecilia what the fuck?” Lando shouted down the microphone, his voice hurting her ear, her car stopped and wouldn’t move, making him crash into her, they lost their P3 and P2. as their friends laughed and passed them.

“I’m sorry, I don't know what’s going on!” She tried to make her car move but nothing she did made her car move. “I think my paddles are disconnected, I’ll try to reconnect them, you guys continue without me, I’ll join the next round.”

She tried everything she could, connecting and disconnecting, plugging in and out she even restarted her PS5, but nothing seemed to work.

“Something is wrong with my simulator, it’s not working.” Cecilia sounded stressed, she stood back looking at her setup.

“You’re not backing out to spend time with your family are you?” Alex teased her, she knew he meant Nathalie but with Lando’s friends he was careful.

“No, I think I’m the only one awake, it’s not working, the game won’t turn on anymore, I’m getting stressed.” Cecilia said, and logged off not long after, there’s nothing more she can do at the moment.

Apparently she had to get a new one, she had someone come take a look at it, and she had to order a new one, and who knew how long it’ll take for that to happen. When the pandemic hit, she knew there would be no way she'd get her sim for a long time, which was bad for her, not because she couldn't play with her friends, but because it’s something that kept her in a racing mood, and kept her skills sharp in the down season. So she found herself texting Charles to ask him if she could come by sometimes to get on the sim, but he was quarantining with Charlotte and they met with their separate families, which would make it harder for her, since she didn’t want to really get in contact with too many people, so she turned to Max, the only other driver she had in mind. Lewis was in the UK with his family and there wasn’t an abundance of Drivers she was close to who were in Monaco at the moment.

Setting up time with Max was easy since they were quarenting and there wasn't much anyone could do, with her mask on and a short drive later Cecilia made it to Max’s house, she’s never been there before. Walking in she didn't know what to expect, but he had set up his house pretty nicely.

“Thank you so much Max.” Cecilia thanked Max after greeting him with a hug.

“Hey, I'm happy to help a rival out.” He poked at her, she knew at this point they were more friends than anything else, but still they’ve never really been alone before. So that made her a little nervous, seeing Max in his casual clothes and not his team kit made them distance themselves from their work. For her standing there, they were just two friends.

“I think we’re past that.” She placed her clammy hands in the back pockets of her jeans awkwardly.

“I agree, do you want something to drink?” Mask asked and led her through his penthouse and to the kitchen.

“It’s okay, thank you.”

“So what happened with your simulator?” Max asked and took out a tea box and waved it for Cecilia to see, she gave him a nod and he started the kittle.

“I have no idea, I was mid game with Lando and some other people, and suddenly mid race everything stopped working, I tried everything and nothing worked.” She explained leaning onto the island to watch him, he moved around with ease taking out tea cups and sitting the tea bags in. “Dad called someone in to check it out before lockdown and I just couldn't get it in before then.”

“That's weird.”

“It is what it is, I guess we get to hang out now because of it.” She said with a smile and a shrug, Max gave Cecilia her cup before they moved to the room had his simulator sat in, walking in she laughed when she saw two simulators, not one, admittedly one was more advanced with RedBull logo and the other looked like that once she had at home. “Colour me impressed, Mr. Verstappen.”

“Laugh all you want, but now we can race each other, one on one.” Max looked smug with himself. He had no shame, it came in handy now and he didn’t regret it, I mean he lives here all alone, yes he doesn’t stay home a lot but when he does it does get a little lonely.

“I like the way you think.” Patting his back she walked up to the RedBull one and looked at it before she looked at him with a smile, he couldn't say no to her, he let her try it. Max sat everything up for Cecilia and him and they took turns choosing what circuits to play, both playing as themselves. “Is any of your family here in Monaco?”

“No, no, I just came back from the Netherlands when the lockdown started.” Max said and tried to pass the female driver, but she was blocking him very well.

“It must be lonely being here alone.” Cecilia said thinking about how lonely she’d be if she didn't have her family with her, she’d definitely lose her mind.

“It’s alright.” Max didn’t mind it that much, he got used to it, besides he did call his family and check on them to see how things are over there.

“You should come over sometime, as long as you don’t come in contact with anyone, we have a child at home after all.” Cecilia spared him a look before she passed the chequered flag and won the race.

“It’s okay, but I do want to see Nathalie again.”

“Believe me she does too, I don’t know what you two talked about when you found her but she’s been going on and on about you.” Max smiled and turned to look at Cecilia, she was already facing him, they were finished for the day. “And, if you need more convincing, We have a hell of a gym at home, I mean you’d meet my parents, but they’re chill.”

“I didn’t know you had a gym at home.” Max stood up and Cecilia followed suit, they naturally integrated to the sofa in the back of the room, she sat at one end facing him with her legs tucked under her and her back to the armrest.

“We had everything installed after I gave birth, I needed to get in shape and with how small Nathalie was I couldn’t take her with me, and I didnt want to leave her, not even counting feeding her.” Cecilia said fondly, sometimes she feels like Nathalie is growing up too fast. “Sometimes I miss when she was that small, she was so cute.”

“Do you have some pictures?” Cecilia fished out her phone and went to the album on her phone labelled Nathalie 2017, she had her pictures all categorised with the year. Moving closer they both were sitting side by side as she showed him the photos explaining some of the stories behind them. They went so back in the album, there was a photo of Cecilia on the hospital bed with a newborn Nathalie sleeping on her, skin touching skin, Cecilia looked so tired and sweaty in the photos, to Max she looked so young. “You were 18, right?”

“Yeah, I got pregnant at 17 but gave birth after my 18th.” His admiration for the girl just kept growing, he looked at her and noticed how close they were sitting, their thighs touching, he could smell the perfume she had sprayed. He moved his arm to push back her hair to be able to see her face when he stopped himself and cleared his throat.

“I can’t get over how much she looks like you.” Max said trying to distract himself, Cecilia looked up and their eyes met, they were still close she felt like she could see all the shades of blue with flickers of hazel in his eyes.

“My mum says she’s my twin.” Her voice was soft, both their eyes flickered down to their lips, and just as the thought of how his lips would feel on hers passed her mind, she smiled and leaned back creating distance naturally without leaving any awkwardness between them. Soon after Cecilia left with the promise of coming back again later in the week.

The due kept meeting regularly, and Max started hoping her sim would never get delivered. When their meeting time arrived for the week, Cecilia came in with her mask, a backpack on her shoulder, a bag in one arm and her child in the other. The woman was always thankful for her F1 training. Once Nathalie saw the male driver her three year old legs carried her as fast as she could to the driver. Max leaned down and caught her, pulling her up in his arms and giving her a hug.

“Hello, Thalia.” He greets the three year old, stepping back to let her mother move in the house, he took the bag from her hand in a swift motion.

“Hello Max.” Nathalie said with a smile. “We made you cookies!”

“Oh did you?” Max asked her with a smile, he looked at cecilia and she pointed to the bag in his hand, it had tupperware in it, once her mum knew he was here alone, she gave Cecilia some home cooked food, and since she and Nattie made cookies, they decided to bring some.

“Yes, mummy can eat those.” Cecilia shook her head, the cookies they made were okay for her diet, she did make a patch of normal cookies as well.

“I’m sure I’ll love them.” Sitting her down the girl looked around curiously, she started walking around, giving the adults time to greet each other. “Hey.”

“Hey, she’s a bit hyper and had some cookies when we weren’t looking after we gave her some.” Cecilia said and looked at her daughter, she was a mischievous little thing. “I think she talks to Charles too much, I always catch him encouraging her.”

Cecilia sat her bag on the sofa, and took the bag Max held and walked to his kitchen, her daughter and Max followed suit. It made her chuckle. “Mum made you some food, I hope it’s not too much, but she’s a family woman, always wanting to feed people, I think that’s why my brother is her favourite, since I can’t eat everything she makes.”

“It’s okay, thank her for me.”

“Or you can come by like I asked and thank her yourself.”

“Grand-mère makes good food.” Nattie agreed looking up at the duo, Cecilia ruffled her hair thinking how cute her girl is. “Maman! Stop!”

“Yes Cecilia don’t ruffle her hair.” Shaking her head she continued with getting out the tupperware and placing what needed to be placed in the fridge inside of it.

“Mon ange, do you want to watch a movie?” The girl nodded her head and they moved to the sim room, Cecilia gave her daughter her Ipad where she chose to watch cars, ironically. An hour in Max and Cecilia played 8 tracks with 5 laps in each track, all this playing made them aware of the other’s techniques, it was different from real life, but still with similarities, Cecilia would sometimes push cars off track to try and make Max lose, and he may have cursed or gotten mad at other people but not her, he just shook his head and continued on.

They had a late lunch break before Nattie made them play a game with her, the sugar she had in her system took a couple of hours before she crashed, Max slowly got her up from the floor where she fell asleep and carried her to the guest bedroom, after Cecilia tucked her in they moved once more to the living room, they sun had set and they had dim lights on. Max got a bottle of wine with a cheeky look on his face. He only saw Cecilia drink once and that was at her first win, never again, she would get out with them but never drink.

“I drove here.” She whined, wanting a glass of wine.

“Then stay, Nattie is already sleeping.” Max offered and popped open the bottle.

“I don’t know.” She was unsure, she knows that her and Max have gotten closer and she knows where this friendship is heading, she talked to Charles about it once, and told her to trust her instinct and if she felt like it to go for it, but to her the thinking is different, once she became a mother her way of thinking about things changed 180 degrees, she’s not number one anymore it’s her girl. Even if you push that away, Max is amazing with Nattie that is true, but she can’t get him into that, she can’t be sure if he’ll want to be in Nattie’s life, to be a male figure and possibly a father figure. Besides they are colleagues, with jobs that are under the microscope, the moment the public finds out it will be a shit show, and if they ever broke up then what? How can she stare at him 10 months of the year knowing they had something at one point. Too many things could go wrong, and she’s not ready to put herself or her daughter’s hearts on the line.

“Don’t overthink it.” Max could tell that her mind ran with thoughts too fast for either of them to grasp it. He poured her a glass and held it out to her, reluctantly she took it and took a small sip.

“You're a bad influence.”

“Some would beg to differ.” He responded with his own glass, after a moment of silence, he gathered his courage and asked the question he wanted to ask the moment he found out about Nathalie. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah sure go ahead, this is good wine by the way.” Cecilia kept her sips small, enjoying the taste.

“Is-is Thalia’s father around?” Cecilia stopped drinking, she just realised that she never talked with Max about it, Max kept his eyes on her, watching her every move waiting for a sign of discomfort.

“He isn’t, he dipped the second I told him I was pregnant.” Cecilia sat with her legs tucked under her once again with her back to the armrest. Her elbow resting on the back of the sofa with her arm holding her head up at her temple, Max also had his back to the end of the sofa. “The fucker left me on my own in a country I know no one in and I only saw his face once since then.”

“What a fucking dickhead.” Max couldn’t understand how some men could just get a girl pregnant and dip, it takes two to tango, knowing that there’s a child out there that is half them and leave them be.

“You can say that again, anyways, he only showed up once with his lawyer, to sign away his rights and told me to keep him out of this, he did try to threaten me.” She laughed remembering the day, Max was confused why she was laughing. “My brother had him almost pissing himself, he’s rich, my ex, extremely so, but my family is richer and more influential so, with one threat to call his dad he had his tail tucked between his legs and left with no fuss.”

“Where does he live?” Max doesn’t know why he asked, maybe he wanted to see if he could find him and maybe just maybe while he’s crossing the road a little something could happen.

“Last I heard in England, he’s British but he has family in Monaco, that’s how we met, he was older than me, thinking back now it was doomed from the start.” Cecilia leaned over and poured herself another glass, and offered to fill Max’s, he too needed another drink. “But you know what, I’d do it again just to have Nathalie, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me, she’s the reason I decided to race again.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was a teen when I got pregnant, and maybe yes I was 18 when I gave birth but I was still a teen at heart then too, you don’t just get older the instant your birthday hits, anyways I felt like a teen when I had her and I thought about quitting everything and just focus on us, but I couldn’t I didn’t want her to look back one day and see me give up when it got hard, I didn’t want her to think that having her ended my dream or that I didn’t work hard for it. No way, my mum is a housewife. Her dream was to have a family of her own, mine was to be an F1 driver.”

“Your dream was hard to achieve when you didn’t even have a child.” Max commented, all he wanted to do now is to pull her in for a long hug, to have her in his arms and protect her to help her like her ex should’ve, who’d let a woman like Cecilia slip through their fingers? A blind man in Max’s books.

“That’s true, and at times I thought that maybe I bit more than I can chew, I mean even now, with me coming fifth in the championship, Mclaren still has me on a yearly contract, and Lando got a three year contract.” Shrugging, it bothered her, Mclaren was applauded for being ‘feminists’ and accepting ‘diversity’ when they didn’t treat their drivers the same.

“That’s not fair.” Max frowned, Cecilia just shrugged. “Well RedBull will always be happy to have you.”

“I don’t know about that, you may hate it but Mercedes is where I wish to be.” Cecilia was honest with him, she hoped to one day be part of Mercedes.

“Because of Toto?”

“Yeah, he’s married to Susie so there’s that, she’s been working for years on including more women in the sport, and he’s always had her back at that.” Cecilia explained.

“But you know he likes Lewis so much, he will place him above you when it comes to priority.”

“Like Christain loves you, every team principal prefers one driver, but I feel like my luck there will be better, that’s why I’m going to prove to everyone that I deserve it next year.”

“I know you do.” Max found himself saying. “I’ve always believed in you.”

“Did you?” Cecilia whispered, Max nodded, her cheeks dusted pink. This is it. This is what Max wanted, he wanted to spend time with her talking, he wanted to talk to her before he fell asleep, to share their feelings and thoughts, talk about everything and anything, share things with each other they never did with anyone else. He wanted… he wants to feel less lonely when it’s late at night and he can’t fall asleep, he wants to have someone who he can speak to about everything, share his secrets with, he wants that.

“Yeah, I did, I do.” His tone matched hers, in the silence of the apartment and dim lights her light blue eyes met his darker ones in an enchanting fight, who’ll give up first, both drivers not used to giving up. Cecilia’s eyes ran down his nose to his lip and instinctively, ran her the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip witting it slightly, the tension in the room rose, Max swallowed and fought with himself to say something, change the subject, but evidently he was the loser between the two of them, he took a swing of his glass and finished it, before he leaned over and took hers placing them on the coffee table, Cecilia watched him with bated breath. Her eyes drew him in they were half closed, Max moved like a predator, a man on a mission, he inclined his face towards hers, it took her only a moment to feel his breath on her face before she pushed up and their lips met is a slow almost lazy kiss, their eyes closed as they lost themselves in the moment, her lips soft and already open, Maxed closed his lips around her bottom one, drawing her in, his nose nudged hers, and her arms moved to his hair holding him in place, afraid he’d pull back. Max’s arms moved to hold her waist and face, with the tip of his tongue he could taste the wine they just drank, deciding then that it tasted better coming from her lips.

It’s been years since Cecilia kissed someone, but she’s sure she’s never been kissed like this before. If kisses are supposed to make you feel like this, then she’s never been kissed before, the warmths of Max enveloped her and consumed her. Moving her head, she wanted more of him, wanted him to-

“Maman!” With a startled jump they pulled away from each other, Cecilia looked at Max like a deer caught in headlights, she didn’t say anything before she moved to see what her daughter wanted. She cursed herself for losing her resolve, for not sticking with her decisions, this just got messy. She hid away in the guest room with her daughter, thankfully she had her phone in her pocket and texted her mum that they’re spending the night.

She isn’t ready to face Max in the morning.

Next morning Cecilia wakes up and she raises her head and looks around for Nathalie but she’s nowhere to be found, slowly getting up, she doesn’t bother looking in the mirror, she slept in her jeans and shirt, yeah it wasn’t a comfortable sleep. Just as she places her hand on the knob to open the door, she remembers what happened last night. Fuck it felt so good, being this close to Max, her heart jumped and she felt all soft and tingly, she placed her forehead on the door and closes her head, reliving the moment once again. Shit, I need to focus. She bites her lip and contemplates what to do. She knows that the mature thing is to talk to Max about it and explain her feelings but she doesn’t really want to, she’s not ready to hear what he thinks.

Opening the door she hears Max talking and Nathalie laughing, following their voices she comes to the kitchen, Max was in a pair of shorts and a shirt. Watching them, Max had Nathalie mixing the eggs in a bowl that is too big, but it made it so she wouldn’t spill any of it, Nathalie was sitting on the counter, Max had one hand beside her, something she did so if Nathalie slipped she’d be able to stop her from falling.

“Like this?” Nathalie asked, looking up at the man for approval.

“Yeah, you’re doing amazing.” She wasn’t, but the answer made Nathalie very proud of herself. “What do you usually drink with breakfast?”

“Juice!” Nattie exclaimed, swinging her legs back and forth, Cecilia rolled her eyes.

“More like milk.” Cecilia interjects, she gives Nattie a look. “Don’t lie mon ange, when do you drink juice?”

“After lunch.” Nathalie answered with a pout, her shoulders dropped and she stopped mixing the eggs.

“Why do we do that?” Cecilia asked her moving closer.

“Too much sugar is bad for you.” Nattie said the words she heard a million times before. Nattie can’t handle sugar well, if there’s no fresh juices they usually give her a small glass after she has lunch, which is her biggest meal of the day.

“That’s right, my smart bébé.” Cecilia kisses the side of her head, and turns to look at Max, he had a smile on his face, it made Cecilia’s heart skip a beat, she looked away. “Good morning.”

“Morning, you sleep okay?” Max takes the eggs turns to the stove before he quickly finishes whisking them without Nathalie noticing, and pours it into the pan.

“Yeah, as good as I could in jeans.” Max noticed her crumpled clothes, and her messy hair matching Nathalie’s, like mother like daughter. Cecilia combed through Nattie’s hair with her fingers taming her hair, the only thing different between them is that Nattie had curls while Cecilia’s straight/wavy.

“I can give you some clothes if you want.” Cecilia declines his offers, she planned to leave after breakfast anyway.

“What can I help with?” Cecilia asked.

“No momie we’re making you breakfast.” Nathalie said startling Cecilia who just raised her hands in surrender, Max laughed. Cecilia still stood by her daughter watching Max move around and give Nathalie things to do.

They had breakfast in the kitchen, Cecilia finished eating first, she wasn’t always a fast eater but when you have a child you need to feed and also feed yourself it made her a fast eater. Max and Nattie were still eating so Cecilia took the moment to rinse the plates and place them in the dishwasher, cleaning up the kitchen.

“Mon ange get your things, we need to leave.” Cecilia called for her daughter once she finished eating, she was washing the pan Max used.

“Are we coming back soon momie?” walking to her mother with her begging look that she always used when she needed something, made Cecilia chuckle.

“Maybe.” with a pointed look the girl turned and left the kitchen with a permanent pout. She knows that Nathalie missed meeting people and just having fun with kids her age. Max is the only person she saw out of her parents and her, her brother was in Sweden, quarenting with his wife, kids and her family.

Max silently leaned his back to the counter next to the sink, his eyes not leaving her. Cecilia tried to act like she didn’t notice, but how could she when he was standing so close, her mind flashed to the taste of his lips on hers.

“Are we going to talk about last night?” Max asked her and Cecilia didn’t answer, it isn’t very mature of her but once again she didn’t want to talk about it. “Cilia.”

“What do we need to talk about?” She decided playing dumb is the best thing to do, maybe she’s really dumb.

“Don’t do that.” Max turned off the tab and moved closer, he was serious, sighing Cecilia turned to look at him. “If you regret it, then say it, but I don’t think that you do.”

“It’s not that simple, Max and you know that.” Cecilia replied, her brows furrowed.

“Then let’s make it simple, Cecilia, I like you, do you like me?” Cecilia’s eyes went wide, her cheeks went red, her mouth got dry and she stood there speechless.

“It’s- max, I-I…” She stuttered feeling flustered and warm, a cocktail of emotions that she wanted to untangle, but if she does then so much would change and she doesn’t know if she's ready for that.

“I’m not asking you to marry me, do you like me? Yes or no?” Max asked once again, this time his tone is softer, full of doubt, maybe he misread the situation, maybe she was drunk(of two glasses of wine?), maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing.

“I do, I like you, but it’s not simple.” Cecilia whispered and closed her eyes, Max moved closer.

“I know that you have to think about Thalia-” She cuts him off.

“I do, but it’s not just that, Max we work together, no not together, against each other.” Cecilia said, trying to prove her point, she thought about this a lot and she talked about it with Charles, and she has a feeling that both Charles and Max saw it like each other.

“I thought about those things too, no let me finish, your jumping to the future, since the season is postponed we have time to figure things out, we’ll take it slow, we won’t say anything to anyone and just keep it to ourselves, it wouldn’t be fair to Nathalie if we got in a relationship and then broke up a while later, as for racing, we keep work separate. You’d be happy if I won right?” Cecilia nodded, not daring to say anything. “I would be happy for you too, and that’s all we need from each other on that point, it’s simpler than you think, we’ll just take one thing at a time, you don’t have to bring Thalia with you until you’re sure we’re going to stay together, or that I’m not just playing with you and leaving, because I’m not, I’m not like your ex.”

“I know you’re not.” Cecilia mumbled, yes she doesn't want to end up heartbroken, doesn’t want her daughter to be heartbroken, but she knows Max is different.

“Then give us a chance.” Max pleaded, his hands cupping her cheeks softly, their eyes met and Cecilia’s resolve crumpled.

“Okay, yeah, let’s do it.” Max kissed her forehead softly before he let her go. They finished in the kitchen together before she and Nattie left, with a longer hug than usual, Max closed the door behind them.

His house now empty, he looked around and there was no trace of the two, it made him feel lonely, since he spent the last 24 hours with them he now felt like he was on his own, something that didn’t bother him before. When you taste something sweater and go back to how things were, it makes it harder, but he had to give it time. Dating Cecilia will be bringing so many challenges but he wasn’t one to shy away from challenges, he knows what he wants and he works his ass off to get them.

CeciliaHansson15

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, Landonoriss and 1,597,999 others

ceciliahansson15 photodump, what is everyone been up to? I can confidently say that the art world is lucky I chose not to be an artis😎

anyway, i hope you're all staying safe ❤️❤️

view all 10,149 comments

username1 how can you look sooooo gooood 🧎‍♀️

username2 mother is mothering so hard right now

Landonoriss I've seen your 'art', it's shit ceciliahannson15 how dare you 🫵👊 these are lies georgerussell63 I'll have to agree with Lando on this ceciliahansson15 how did you see my art @/georgerussell63 georgerussell63 uh... ask @/alex_albon alex_albon mate, why? 😬 ceciliahansson15 how did YOU see it??!!! @/alex_albon alex_albon well you see the thing is, it was @/charles_leclerc🏃🏃 charles_leclerc not cool mate ceciliahansson15 charles.... charles_leclerc it was Lando 🤷 landonoriss I can explain ceciliahansson15 BLOCKED all of you @/maxverstappen1 congratulations on being my new best friend maxverstappen1 ...thanks i guess maxverstappen1 do i need to know what happened? georgerussell63 no alex_albon no charles_leclerc no landonoriss I'll text you ceciliahansson15 @/landonoriss 🔫🔫 Pierregasly suddenly I'm glad I havn't checked the groupchat liked by ceciliahansson15, danielricciardo

username5 I'm living for this comment section 😂

username6 only cecilia can get half the grid in her comments section

username7 the power cecilia holds

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it's 4:45 rn so if there's any mistakes tell me

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@luciaexcorvus . @vellicora . @tpwkstiles . @belennasif . @eugene-emt-roe . @fanboyluvr . @fangirl125reader , @christianpulisic10 . @belennasif

#f1 x driver!reader #f1 x reader #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen #f1 fanfic #f1dr #max verstappen imagine #my girls #f1 imagine #f1 scenario #driver oc #max verstappen x oc

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ladykailitha · 7 months

Text

Grief (A Friend Indeed) Part 4

Hey, guys! This story is coming along at quite the clip. I have part 5 already done. I have the specific plot beats mapped out and you are in for a wild ride.

Enjoy more Lauren being awesome, Steve being a history buff, and liking alt rock. A bit of tw for allusion to cancer. It's where Penny and Wayne talk so if you want to skip it just know that Penny isn't acting herself in this chapter and is handling the grief badly.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

***

Lauren tapped her lip thoughtfully. “I suppose I’ll grant you Robin being better than me on the sheer fact that she’s your soulmate. But it was this close.” She held her finger and thumb so close together they were almost touching.

“Platonic,” Steve assured her. Lauren raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m not her type,” he added with a shrug.

“That’s fair,” she said. “I hate it when people assume that just because you’re opposite genders that you have to be romantically linked.”

Steve nodded. “As if other types of love don’t exist.”

Eddie winced. Steve caught his eye and blushed.

“I mean you can love friends and family, that’s not romantic, right?”

When no one answered, he continued. “Like one of the kids I used to babysit, Dustin. The one that built the CV tower. God I love that kid like my little brother. But I’m not attracted to him for fuck’s sake. All I’m saying is love is more then just romantic. Hell, the Greeks had a half of a dozen or so types of love.”

Eddie leaned forward interested. “Yeah, like what?”

“There’s love for the gods, love for your brothers in arms, love for your family, romantic love, and sexual love,” Steve said, naming them and counting his fingers. “I think there are more than that, but I don’t really remember.”

Oliver frowned at Steve. “Aren’t romantic love and sex the same thing?”

Steve shrugged. “You’d have to ask them, I don’t know. But I never thought so. You don’t have to be in love to have sex and you don’t have to sex with a romantic partner.”

Lauren launched into music and her tastes to quickly change the subject as Penny was starting to frown about the sex talk.

Eddie started talking to Gale about how she liked school now that she had finished kindergarten and resurfaced to Lauren and Steve’s conversation a few minutes later.

“You can’t honestly believe that Speak & Spell is the superior album,” Steve groused. “It had one hit on it and I wouldn’t even call it that.”

“I just think the band lost a little something when Vince Clarke left is all,” Lauren murmured.

Oliver sidled up to Eddie and nudged him with his elbow. “Do you know what they are talking about?”

Eddie just shook his head, enthralled. He had seen Steve passionate about sports before but this was new.

“Some Great Reward has some of the best songs on it,” Steve continued, unaware he was being watched. “God, I remember the first I heard ‘Lie to Me’, it was like someone understood me for the first time in my life.”

Lauren snorted. “You just used that one because it was the one that would raise the least amount of eyebrows.”

Steve laughed. “Maybe a little, but I was serious about that song. I must have listened to it a dozens of times my senior year of high school. But yeah, I really connected with that album.”

She hummed. She had a feeling it had to do with that girlfriend he brought up earlier, but she would wait until there weren’t so many prying eyes and listening ears.

“I’ll give you Depeche Mode,” she said. “But please tell you don’t like Tears for Fears, please...”

Eddie barked out a laugh. “Stevie boy here has both of their albums.”

Steve just shrugged. “I’m not about to feel shame for liking a good band.”

Lauren opened her mouth to argue when her mother interrupted.

“Steve, Eddie?” Penny called out. “You will have to be sharing a room.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide as if he hadn’t considered that.

“It’s okay, ma’am,” Steve said with his most charming smile. “We’ve shared a room a couple times before, we’ll be fine.”

Eddie nearly choked on his own spit. While that was true, he didn’t think it was a wise thing to say in crowd of strangers.

Penny blinked at him. “Excuse me? You’ve shared a room with Eddie before?”

Steve batted his eyelashes at her innocently. “Sure. Often times when playing their D&D game it’ll go late in the night and they’ll end up sleeping over. My house has a lot of rooms, but not that many. So we’ll often double or triple up in a room.”

Gale looked up from her toys she was playing with on the floor. “Just how many rooms do you have?”

Penny shushed her. “We don’t talk about that sort of thing in mixed company!”

“In addition to my parents room and mine,” Steve said steadfastly ignoring her, “three other bedrooms, plus another room in the basement that could be converted into a guest room in a pinch if I had to.”

Penny turned purple. “That’s enough of that talk.”

Wayne stepped in before his sister threw hands with one of his boys. And yes, Steve was his. He just didn’t know it yet.

“It’s not a sin to talk about money,” he said. “Not talking about money is how those in power stay in power. It’s why I’m in a union at the plant. Steve can’t help where he’s from anymore than you can. The size of his house isn’t going to change just because you don’t want to hear it.”

Penny’s jaw dropped. She looked around at her children and then ducked her head. She got up and headed for the kitchen. Lauren got up to follow, but Wayne held up his hand and shook his head.

“I’ll deal with her.”

Eddie stood there with pursed lips trying not smile. But it was hard. Wayne rarely stood up to Penny because he had known for years that she was Grandma’s favorite and her kids were treated like royalty. Not like him and Wayne and in his early years, Al.

His grandma was a sweet old lady who loved him, but he knew that Penny and her kids got preferential treatment because they lived close. It was hard not to be at least a little bitter about that.

“Go Uncle Wayne,” Lauren said with a low whistle. “Classism goes both ways and Grandma would have had a fit if she had seen how Mom acted today.”

Eddie let his smile break through. “Who’s up for some cribbage?” he asked pulling a deck of cards out of his leather jacket pocket.

All three of the Nelson sibling bounced up and Gale ran to the hallway to grab a cribbage board. She pulled out four pegs and then looked at Steve.

He held up his hands. “I’ve never played before, so I’ll just watch.”

Eddie cocked his head to side. “You haven’t? Huh, I thought everyone knew how to play.”

Steve just shook his head.

“Tell you what,” Eddie said, sitting down around the coffee table. “We’ll play a couple rounds of cribbage and then we’ll play something you know how to play.”

“Do you guys know rummy?” Steve asked wiping his hands on his front of his jeans.

“Yeah,” Lauren said with a grin. “That’s a fun one. We’ll play that one next.”

The other kids nodded and Steve settled into to watch the weirdest card game imaginable played on a wooden board with little plastic pegs like rejects from the Life game.

Penny rounded on Wayne but the seeing the look on his face caused whatever argument she had to shrivel up behind her teeth. Her shoulders slumped and she ran her hands over her face.

“Fuck, Wayne,” she murmured. “I’m sorry. I just have all this rage inside. She could have tried to beat it. There were medicines and things she could have taken to give us a little bit more time with her and she just didn’t… take it.”

Wayne wrapped her in his arms and held her.

“And we almost had two funerals this year,” she continued into his shoulder, “and I’m just on my last raw nerve.”

Wayne nodded. It was touch and go for Eddie those first three days in the hospital and every was waiting on baited breath to see if he would come out on the other side.

Hell, his favorite moment that week was Eddie’s surgeon staring Sheriff Powell in the face and telling him under no uncertain terms was he allowed anywhere near her patient until she was sure he was going to live. And then by the time Eddie was out of the woods, the government had pinned the murders on someone else.

Eddie stayed under for another couple of weeks so he never got to see how bad ass his surgeon was. But Wayne did, Steve did and they were both very grateful.

“I know, Penny,” he murmured, holding her close. “It’s been such a rough year for us Munsons. How’s Danny handling it?”

Penny snorted. “You’d think it was his mama that died, not mine with all the wailing and carrying on he’s doing.”

Wayne laughed. “Sounds like our Danny.”

Danny and Penny were Hawkins High sweethearts that moved to Ashland to be closer to Penny’s mom when she slipped and fell.

“He’ll be home from work in an hour or so,” Penny said. “You wanna help me make dinner?”

“Whacha making?”

“Just chicken and rice,” she said, pulling things out of the fridge and cupboards.

“Sure.”

Steve tallied up the points from their five games of rummy and then threw the pen down.

“Fucking hell!” he hissed. “You’d think I’d be used to getting skunked by fifteen year olds.”

Eddie laughed. “Nah, I’m pretty sure Oliver just cheated.”

The teenager was on his feet in an instant. “I didn’t!”

Lauren put her hand on his arm. “They’re teasing you. Chill.”

Oliver sat back down.

Then the door opened and a man stepped inside. He had curly red hair, a barreled chest, and an easy smile. This was obviously Danny Nelson.

He spotted Steve right off and made a beeline for him. “You must be Steve, Eddie’s told us all about you.”

Steve stood up and shook his hand. “Thanks for having me so last minute.”

“I’m just glad Eddie’s got someone looking out for him,” Danny said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I can smell my wife’s delicious cooking.”

Steve nodded.

Soon they were all called for dinner and Steve was seated between Eddie and Lauren.

He could tell that whatever Wayne and Penny had talked about had sorted her out and she seemed a lot less hostile. But that could have also been the calming presence of her husband, Danny. He had tucked her into his side as they ate, and she leaned into his touch.

It made him grieve the lost of what his family could have been if his grandmother hadn’t died.

Maybe they still would have fallen apart, but maybe they would have been like this.

But he also knew that he had to be grateful for that money not because of the things he had gotten, but because it gave him the chance to find his own family in the monster-hunting party that were his friends.

***

Pt 5|Pt 6|Pt 7|Pt 8|Pt 9|Pt 10|Pt 11|Pt 12

And that's how my husband's family introduced me to cribbage too. It is sooo hard to follow.

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @emly03 @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @vecnuthy @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @gutterflower77 @genderless-spoon @hel-spawn @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #dealing with grief #minor character death #tw: cancer

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in1-nutshell · 6 months

Text

Being Swerve's older sibling and reuniting with Swerve

SFW, familial, platonic, Cybertronian/ Bot reader

MTMTE

Part 2 of 2

Part 1 here

Part 3 here

Now present time.

Buddy was very much alive.

They had been ambushed by a team of Decepticon. They managed to get off the ship using one of their escape pods while everyone was recharging. However, Buddy accidentally put themselves into stasis lock entering the escape pod. By the time they did manage to get out of stasis lock, the war was over. They didn’t know that yet. They try contacting anyone on their team, but no one answered.

Then Buddy tries their deep space channel. Come to find out there was an overwhelming number of messages from Swerve Buddy decides to listen to them one by one after realizing that they would be waiting for a while.

They are tearing up hearing their brothers’ struggles and hearing how much had happened over the war and its ending. They eventually reach to the most recent messages and nearly breaks into a violent sob hearing what had happened in the Swearth incident. Buddy just wanted to hug all the sadness from Swerve when they got to him.

Buddy sets to work on a destress beacon after the last message finished. They eventually get a beacon operational and wait.

Rodimus gets a distress pod signal not too far from where they were alert and immediately turns the ship. Once the ship reaches the pod the bridge is connected. In enters Buddy in all their huge glory. They are dented, scratched and in terrible need of a new paint job.

Rodinmus and Magnus are a bit in awe at Buddy’s size but welcome them.

“Welcome to the Lost Light stranger!”--Rodimus

“No thank you for helping me from that pod. I’ve just learned I’ve been there so long I missed a good chunk.”--Buddy

“Don’t worry we will help you get situated with current affairs. And its good to see you soldier.”--Magnus

“Thank you, Ultra Magnus, sir.”--Buddy

Magnus does his part in catching Buddy up with what is going on since they were inside the pod.

“So, Megatron is an Autobot now?”--Buddy

“Yes, he is and is also the Co-Captain of the Lost Light.”--Magnus

“…Sir, are you saying that Megatron is on the ship right now and is sharing Captain duties with Rodimus?... who thought that was a good idea?”--Buddy

“It is a question I ask too many times on this ship.”--Magnus

Buddy listens and silently compares notes with what Magnus was telling them and Swerve’s messages. Thanks to Drift and Ratchet, Buddy ended up with a clean bill of health and a new paint job. Rodimus offered to give them a tour around the ship which Buddy agreed. Buddy hears about Swerve’s from Rodimus.

“Wait! Did you say Swerve’s?”--Buddy

“Yeah it’s a pretty cool bar—”--Rodimus

“Show me the bar.”--Buddy

Rodimus doesn’t think too much of it. He thinks that Buddy is in desperate need of a drink and shows them the way. Buddy has some bots turn around admiring their sheer stature. Meanwhile Buddy was silently buzzing wanting to see Swerve.

Word eventually reaches the bar about some new bot joining the ship. Swerve doesn’t think too much of it as he is trying to cut Tailbreaker off from the drinks again.

Swerve has his back turned when Buddy enters in with Rodimus. Buddy nearly breaks out into a sprint ready to collect Swerve into their arms, but they end up getting blocked by Whirl. He sees Buddy’s size and doesn’t think that it’s his old friend, in his head, a new bot equals a new fight.

“C’mon you giant piece of scrap metal, fight me!”--Whirl

“Whirl!? Oh my Primus it’s you!”--Buddy

“Yeah… OH! Buddy! You made it out of there alive after all! I knew you’d make it!”--Whirl

He launches himself sloppily at his long-lost friend. Buddy gives him a hug in return when they hear a gasp and glass breaking. Buddy and Whirl turn to see Swerve standing behind the bar holding what used to be a glass cup full of engex. Swerve literally leaps over the bar and sprints over to Buddy only to stop in front of them. Whirl lets go of his friend, letting the two siblings have their moment.

Buddy falls on top their knees and scoops up Swerve in a fierce hug and lets a little sob come out.

“Please tell me this isn’t a dream! Cause if it is I don’t want to wake up!”--Swerve

“Its not Swerve. Its not!”--Buddy

“Buddy!”--Swerve

“Swerve!”-- Buddy

Swerve was full on sobbing and blubbering against Buddy’s chassis, Buddy’s arms hid him from the rest of the bar. They were simply enjoying the fact that their brother was back in their arms again. Everyone was staring at the two, which made Whirl angry.

“Hey quit staring! Stare one more time and the last thing you’ll be seeing this claw for a whole decacycle!”—Whirl

When the two eventually calm down, Buddy introduces themselves as Swerves’ Big Sibling. There was much confusion in the bar. The main question being how were they even related to each other? Buddy was a cool member of the Elite Guard and Swerve was just Swerve.

“How are you even related?!”—Bot 1

“We just are?”--Buddy

“I don’t believe your related to Swerve.”—Bot 1

“Why not?”--Buddy

“Because Swerve is just a –Woah!”—Bot 1

“Choose your next words wisely. What were going to say about my brother?”--Buddy

“Buddy! Buddy calm down! Put the sword down!”--Swerve

Swerve doesn’t leave Buddy’s side for the longest time. Buddy becomes Swerve’s giant shadow. Even after a while on board and Buddy gaining new friends, they are never too far from Swerve.

#transformers #transformers x reader #idw mtmte #more than meets the eye #mtmte x reader #mtmte swerve #mtmte rodimus #mtmte whirl #mtmte ultra magnus #bot buddy #maccadam

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a-spes · 5 months

Note

hello! i noticed ur taking requests! this is hella detailed so no worries if u dont wanna write! one with female reader x nat (preferably platonic but either works). the averages break up. they are done. Officially. nat and r were friends on the avengers and worked together a lot. when the avengers broke up, everyone tried to move on or settle down. nat doesn't. nat, missing the action, reverts back to her time as a for-hire assassin. With the connections from her time as an assassin pre-SHIELD she builds a name for herself. She becomes the most feared assassin yet again and a ruthless criminal. no one can stop her and she’s very dangerous. Finally, reader, working for the government now, and faces Nat for the first time in years… as enemies with r trying to take Nat down. Nat has the upper hand with her network of spies and criminals. But does Nat really hurt her? She has the ability to with her skill and network of assassins. Does r get what they want and take Nat down? ANYWAYS this is long and kinda specific; but thank you so much! Love all your writing!

S T O L E N F R E E D O M - One shot.

Words count - 5,1k.

Tags & Warnings - villain!Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader (platonic, enemies), mentions of death/violence/blood, angst.

Moodboard here.

N/A - Hope you'll enjoy it and it's not too far from what you were expecting! It's the first time I am writing for a request and I really enjoyed it, so thanks for dropping it <3

It’s past two in the morning and you are alone in the office. Only the night guards are here but they don't dare to ask you if everything is fine. The past months, they've got used to you staying that late and learned to not ask too many questions. From time to time, you could hear their muffled voices and steps breaking the thick silence.

But it’s not their presence that is slowly driving you crazy: it is the regular ticking of the wall clock. It seems to be the only thing you can hear, it’s even louder than your thoughts, and being unable to concentrate is only adding to your frustration. You are not far from crying because of how hopeless you are feeling.

If you've got into the habit of spending most of your nights at work, it’s only because of how incompetent you are, unable to complete the task assigned to you. A few months ago, you found a file on your desk and, if at first you thought it would be as easy as the previous ones, you were wrong. You quickly changed your mind when you only saw a long list of deaths but nothing else. For the first time, you've found yourself struggling to complete a mission.

You were looking for a ghost.

The only proof you have of their existence are the crimes they commited, the cold bodies they’re leaving behind them. Even the autopsy didn't give any information about how it happened, it’s almost like the victims just died on their own. This mission makes you regret how cocky you acted in the past. You used to think that you could complete every mission, even the most difficult ones, but eventually realized that it doesn't matter if you are among the most skilled S.H.I.E.L.D agents because there is always someone better than you are.

This time, you were as lost as your colleagues, understanding what they're usually going through. Slowly, you've become so obsessed with this mission that you couldn't think about anything else. You are trapped in a toxic loop with your work and, if you thought the time you would act like that was long gone, you were wrong: this mission is taking you back to your worst era again.

In the morning, you are the first one to be here, but you are also the last one to leave the place - when you do, sometimes spending the whole night here just so you don’t lose time going home and coming back. It is rare that you think about eating, your mind being completely absorbed by the task. Again, you were that young adult that wanted to prove their worth to everyone, seeking validation.

Despite everything, you keep telling Fury that everything is fine. You know that he doesn't believe you, but he knows better than pushing, trusting his agent to ask for help when it's needed, but he forgot how stubborn you can be. He is divided between worries to see you so exhausted and the urge for the mission to be completed as quickly as possible.

Even if he is trying to keep those deaths a secret for as long as possible, pretending on the news that they aren't related, just misfortune, he knows he won't be able to lie indefinitely. People are going to question what's happening and it's obvious that he can’t admit that there is a crazy assassin roaming freely around the country.

For the moment, only a few agents are aware about the file, only the best ones. If anyone can do it, it's you, that's what he keeps telling himself to ease the guilt he is feeling whenever he sees you so exhausted.

And, even if he is not saying anything, telling you to take your time, you can read in his eyes the fears and worries, you can feel the pressure and the lack of time: this mission had to be a priority. It comes before your basic needs, eating and sleeping becoming optional. You hadn't seen anyone else other than the pictures of the victims' bodies for the last weeks, talked so little that you are almost sure you lost your voice.

You were in distress and it's obvious that your state of mind has led to mistakes you could've easily avoided, even a rookie wouldn't have made them.

Before you could realize, it was the morning, and the sun didn't come alone: it left a surprise on your desk, an umpteenth death. You didn't wait long, immediately going to the place where it happened, in hope you would find something if you are the first one here. But, as always, everything is clean, the appartment being perfectly tidy, except for the cold body in the middle of the living-room.

They are playing with your mind, probably amused to see you trying to stop them, knowing that you can't because it's impossible to catch a shadow. People are dying and there is nothing you can do about it.

Those thoughts are unbearable, and you are fighting the urge to break an object when you notice something. It is almost invisible, so small that you almost missed it. It is just a piece of paper, stucked between two tiles on the balcony.

Here it is, your hint, the first one since you started. If you are exhausted, it seems that the person you are chasing starts to feel confident enough to let their guard down and make mistakes. There is not much in the paper, just bits of words but it is enough for you to guess everything you need: their next victim.

You know that there is only a small chance that you could actually stop them tonight, but you can't help the feeling of hope that is growing inside of you because, for the first time, you've the feeling that you are getting somewhere.

You should've told Fury. You should've let him know what you found, your leads, where you are going tonight, but you didn't. Even if you know how dangerous going in there alone and unprepared, you did it, the feeling of hope giving you the impression that nothing could go wrong - you would deal later with Fury's anger.

If you get out of here alive.

But it may be your only chance to get them, because who knows when they're gonna make another mistake? It could be weeks or months, maybe never, and you don't have the strenght to wait for so long. You don't even really care about the target, he is just some rich man who embodies everything you hate, it's just that this mission is now personnal: you're done playing their game and want to let them know.

You are driving fast, not caring about the speed limits. Gladly, it is late and the hotel is on the edge of the city, isolated to provide traquility to the people that decide to stay here - all rich and influential. You weren't surprised when you discovered that the next victim was staying here for a few days.

But, if the road is empty, your mind isn't. Your heart is racing, trying to get out of your chest. In months of research, you've never been so close to success, it has something exciting. However, hope doesn't come alone. This feeling is accompanied by nervousness and nausea as you can't help but think of all the ways this could go wrong, the so-good idea is just sounding like a really bad mistake now.

You're on your own, no one knows you are here tonight.

Your fingers are tapping against the steering wheel in an attempt to shut out these thoughts, but it doesn't change anything. You know that, if you want everything to go fine, you need to keep your mind clear - no one ever successed a mission while being distracted, it would only get you killed. However, it is easier to say than to do.

You found yourself waiting at the front of the hotel, trying to hide how shaky your hands were. Even if you are wearing the most expensive dress of your dressing, you are still feeling out of place, everything here being just ... too much, honestly.

One glance at the entrance confirmed what you thought: going in won't be easy. It's obvious that you can't walk in here, pretending to be some guest, without being suspicious. In this kind of mission, discretion is the key and you need to become a part of the landscape.

"Can I steal a bit of your time?" a man asked after you waited for a few minutes.

A pretty woman doesn't go unotice in that kind of space, especially if she looks a bit lost. This man, however, has nothing pretty, he is probably older than your parents. You are not dumb, knowing that there is nothing innocent behind his request, and this simple thought is enough to digust you. Yet, you don’t say anything. You are just hiding your feelings behind a smile, nodding slowly to him.

He is your way inside.

Once you are inside, you don't wait for one more minute before excusing yourself, pretending you have to go to the bathroom. He made some jokes about women that you don't bother to listen to, already far away, knowing that you won't keep your promise to come back as quickly as possible.

The feeling his hand left on your waist makes you shiver, but you don't have much time to think about it, trying to discretly shaking it off as you are heading to the stairs. At least, the first part of your plan - which wasn't really one - was done: you are inside of the building.

From the hotel's roof, you have a perfect look at the city. Sadly, you don't have much time to enjoy the view of the city lights or to observe the movements of the citizens, unawere of what's happening so close to them. The cold wind of autumn is brushing your face, a few of your hair strubbornly getting out of your braids to get in your eyes, and the fresh air is easing your nervousness a bit.

But it all came back in a second, all it took was a glance at your watch: almost ten pm, you only have a few minutes to decide what to do.

Before going down, you made sure that the living-room was empty, using a small drone. You scoffed when you saw the suit he reserved, it was bigger than your appartment and every object there seems to be outrageously expensive. However, even if you can't see anyone, you are not letting your guard down. The lights are on, which means he is somewhere in the appartment and it doesn't let you a lot of time to sneak in if you don't want to be seen.

You went in by the window. Your hands were shaking as you tried to open it, and you couldn't help but glance inside from time to time, fearing the assassin would show. The stress you were feeling made you less efficient and you had to try three times before you eventually hear the relieving sound of the window unlocking - usually, you wouldn't need more than one attempt to get there.

You were trying to make as little noise as possible while closing the window behind you, to make it seem like you've never been here, when you are surprised by a presence on your back. You barely dodged the lamp he threw at you, the object hitting the floor, breaking in a loud noise - for the discretion, you may want to try harder next time.

As his scream is piercing throught your ears, you jump at him, one of your hands keeping his mouth shut while you are holding him against the wall, hoping no one hears him - because, if it's the case, the assassin won't be your only problem. This was your second mistake, one you could've easily avoided if you came with a better plan than "going in and taking the target down". Even if you are here to save him, the fact that he knows may jeopardize the whole mission, the assassin will probably notice that something isn't right.

"No, no, no! Don't yell," you hushed him, "I am here to save you, the assassin is coming for you, tonight," you told him in an attempt to ease his panic; but how could you sucess to calm him down when you are even more stressed than he is? His panic is slowly becoming yours as you realise how badly you’ve screwed up.

"To.. save me?" he asked and, at the way he told those words, you can tell that he is schocked by the news.

"Yes, they-," you started to reply, sliping your hand in your pocket to get out your badge. It seems to calm him down and you can eventually take a few steps back, releasing the man, but your movements are slow, ready to throw yourself at him again if he decides to scream.

You were already looking around, in search of any hint the assassiin would already be here when you heard a cold chuckle that made you shiver. You immediately turn to the man, only to notice that he is the one laughing.

"Oh, but I am not the one that needs to be saved," he said, smiling, and you immediately froze, unable to move an inch as your mind is trying to process what he just said.

"What?" you replied, but deep down you already knew what was happening, the feeling that something isn't right only growing stronger.

"Oh, sorry...", another voice said on your back. Its tone is false pity, its chuckle was full of arrogance, "have I ruined your little moment of heroism?" she asked, and you don't need to hear more than those few sentences to recognize the person to whom that voice belongs.

Slowly, as if you are scared that moving too fast could make her disappear, you turn around to give a look at the woman. Her face is hidden behind a black mask, but you would recognize those eyes everywhere, even if they are now tinged with a darkness you've never seen in her before. Her green eyes no longer had the soft look you were used to.

"'Tasha? Is that.. you?" you whispered, but you already knew the answer - a few strands of red hair slipping out of her mask, an another hint of her identity.

This encouter is leaving a weird feeling, twisting your stomach with fear while confusion coulds your throughts; nothing that is happening now makes sense. Why is she here? What does she mean by that? Why is she so different from the person you know? You are feeling like you are facing a ghost, how weird it's stand in front of a person that looks and sounds like your old friend but that is nothing like them at the same time.

"I thought I taught you better than that..," she added, but her tone is bothering you: it's harsh, cold, she has never talked to you that way in the past.

It's when she eventually takes her mask off that you can see that she has been smirking the whole time, enjoying the situation you are in. However, you are not smiling at all, because you slowly realise that is was just a trap, *and you fell right into it, giving yourself to the person you've chased for months.*

“Look at you,” she spat out, “so .. naive, and stupid, you didn’t change, uh? You didn’t learn your lesson?” she asked, and you couldn't find the words to reply, the shock had stolen your voice, you didn’t even notice that the man left the room, leaving only the two of you and a thick ambience.

You’ve known the woman for many years. When you joined the Avengers, the two of you quickly became close as being the only two women in a team of cocky men. Sure, it wasn’t always easy because of how different you are, but you learned a lot by her side and you appreciated her a lot, always seeking the company of the spy.

A few years ago, when everyone decided it was time to split up, you didn’t stay in touch with any of them. You were never a family, despite what they would tell you, just colleagues and, if it was hard to admit at first, you eventually got used to this idea. However, you can’t help but think about the redhead from time to time, regretting not having a way to contact her, wishing you would've at least stayed close with her among all your former teammates.

You thought it was mutual, but you are not sure anymore.

No matter how hard she tried to be nice to you, a part of her always hated the person you were. She hated your smile and how pure it was, she hated how childish you could be, always excited over the smallest things. You were a constant reminder of what her life could've been if she had a normal childhood. She was jealous. It felt unfair to see that life gave you everything she always dreamed of.

But the spy never talked about it. She listened closely everytime you would talk about your childhood, helping you to organize surprises for your family, not mentionning the way her stomach would twist and her heart hurt in those moments. She got used to the feeling of her nails digging into her skin whenever she was having a conversation with you - because you would most likely be talking about your memories at some point.

She even used to avoid your room, not wanting to see the pictures and childhood memories displayed everywhere. Those objects were a reminder that your family is real when hers was nothing more than a pretending, a mission. While she was trying to survive, you never got to worry about anything else than what was your favourite colour.

And, even if she knows you had your own struggles, she couldn’t help but have the toxic urge to compare both of your lives and what you have been through.

You got the life she was dreaming of with the other girls, but you didn't even seem to realise it.

If she was able to keep up the act, it was only because it was easy to go on missions by your side. You were skilled but, most importantly, great at following orders: you would always do everything she asked you to. You were eager to please the woman. So she talked to you, smiled, acted nice, pretended it was nothing when you would apologize for ranting about your life, knowing that, one day, she would find a way to get her revenge.

Suddenly, you are the one being pinned against the wall and she leaves you no chance to escape. You barely noticed her moving, barely had time to think about dodging her attack that you were already in her hands.

She appears to be even better than when you were working together, and you suspect that it's not because she trained since, but surely because she never used her whole skills in a fight against you - she knew she didn't need that to win. Your hopes of beating the redhead vanish immediately, you only ever won because she let you to.

How could you?

She was raised to kill, when you would just achieve a childhood dream.

Oh, you are good at it, just not good enough. You realize your mistake when, for the first time since you met the spy, you feel her fist landing on your face with its whole strenght, not once, but an endless amont of time. There is blood, yours, running down your nose and mouth, and it comes with a sharp pain as her last hit sends you to the ground.

“You’ve no idea for how long I’ve waited for that moment..," she told you while coming closer. She is observing your miserable form with a satisfied smile on her face.

“Tasha’, I understand that-,” you tried to say, but you were stopped by another kick on your face that took your breath away. She doesn't even let you the possibility to say a few words, the sound of your voice being enough to drive her crazy.

The pity in it is making her sick.

“You can understand?” she scoffed in disbelief. She can't believe that you've the audacity to say something like that. “No. You think you can understand what I am going through, but you can’t, and you want to know why?" she asked, pausing before giving you the answer herself, "because you are the golden child that has everything in the palm of her hand," she said those words in a voice full of hate.

“What happened..?" you whispered, "that- that’s not.. you... not the Natasha I know," you said, trying to make sense of the situation, but you can't, you want to believe that it is just a terrible mistake, that she is still here, somewhere, that she just got lost - but it could've happened to any of you, right?

“Oh, but you never knew me, love," she replied, coldly laughing at you, "This is me. This is the person I was born to be. For years, I tried to run away, but we can’t escape our destiny," she continued. She takes a few more steps toward you, kneeling at your side, her hand caressing your cheek, "and honestly, I've never felt so good, so free."

“If it’s him again, I- I can help you, we can find a-," you said, refusing to think about the fact that, maybe, she is right, that everything is just her choice, because it would make you the enemy of a person that used to be your friend and teammate.

Again, you are stopped by a kick on your chest while she is smiling, as if you just said the stupidest thing she's ever heard of her life.

“Him?” she chuckled, “Oh, honey, no.. he is long gone. It is just me now. I eventually got to be who I really am without anyone to prevent me from doing so, isn’t it .. thrilling?” she asked, but you are not sharing her excitement, you are just frightened and she can tell it by the way you are looking at her, your eyes being wide open.

She was born for that life, she was raised with the only purpose to kill, to spy, but since the Avengers no longer exist, what was she? Her skills were no longer useful. At first, she tried to get a normal job, but it didn't end very well, she just couldn't fit in. She hated the feeling of having everything to learn again.

And it was all your fault.

You were the voice in her head that made her believe it was possible, that she could, one day, have a normal life, without blood and fights. You are the one that gave her hope. When she was at your side, she always felt like you were right, but reality was quick to kick in and, whenever the two of you were talking, there was always a small detail that would remind her that you are living in two opposite worlds. The demons that haunted her spared you and she will never be able to make it up for the blood on her hands.

But then you abandoned her, like the others, and she realized she couldn't do it without you to show her the beauty of the world. It just seems impossible, she was too brutal for the earth.

And she started hating you for your lies.

You never knew, but she was watching you the whole time. She knows every detail of your life, how you succeeded to rebuild it after the Avengers when she failed. It seems so simple, so why couldn't she do the same? You seem to have forgotten your former colleagues so easily, you got a new job and friends, a complete new life in only a few months, as if she never existed. Meanwhile, the memories of her time with the Avengers were stuck in her head.

She felt like she lost her only chance to have a normal life.

It's not surprising, then, that she fell again in that loop of blood and death. It was familiar, almost comforting, something she is good at. Whenever she completes a mission, it reminds her that she has a place in that world, even if it's not the one she has dreamed of.

She loved to see you struggling. She enjoyed watching you those past months, she wanted to see how desesperate you could get before breaking down. She knew it wasn't healthy, but she couldn't help but love the feeling of power, and it is even more true right now, as she has you pinned against the wall, one of her hands pressed against your throat.

“I know that you think you’re better than me, but we are the same, we are both killers," she said, her face being so close to yours that you could feel her breath. "The difference is that you are controlled by your superiors. They wouldn’t care if I was doing the same, they don’t care about those deaths, they are just afraid they can't control me. And you know what?" she asked with a frightening expression, "they're right to feel that way. Now that I am free, no one will ever tell me what to do, not even you,” she whisepered those last words in your ears, it sounded like a warning.

In reality, she is only almost free, because she has one last thing to do for it to be true. Even if she is now at the head of her own organization, no longer taking orders from anyone else, she doesn't feel completely free yet. This time, it is not because of Dreykov, Fury or Tony, but you.

The redhead firmly believes that, if she manages to control you, she will be able to get the freedom she always wanted.

Slowly, her gentle touch becomes agressive, her fingers are no longer caressing your cheek, they are wrapped around your throat, the pressure slowly increasing until you are struggling to breath. You can read everything she never told you in her eyes: suffering and despair, hatred and anger.

You are the last thing with power over her. She can't get you out of her mind, being obsessed with you in a way that isn't healthy. She can't stop thinking about the sweet words you used to whisper to her when she was at her lowest, the ones that gave her a glimpse of who she could've been, but also the ones that prevent her from embracing who she really is.

If she wants to be free, she needs to grief the person she would've been if her childhood would've been like yours, and it won't be possible as long as you're here. Your words were the cause of the guilt that was building in her sometimes, when it was late, they were keeping her from sleeping, they are the reason for all her weaknesses.

"P- please," you whispered, managing to say a few words, begging for your life as she coldly held her knife above your head - you don't doubt one second she would kill you without any hesitation.

But the hit never came.

She just stayed like that for what felt like hours, tilting her head while a smile spread on her face, almost mocking. The smile has nothing in common with what you're used to, this one sends shivers through your body.

"Hm, you're right," she eventually said, as if you said something that would've been enough for her to change her mind when you didn't - she seems to be talking to herself. "Where would be the fun if I kill you know? It was just starting to get interesting, don't you think?" she added and your relief is short, there is something mischevious on her tone and attitude that makes you wish she just've killed you instead.

Those past months made her realize that she doesn't need to kill you, she doesn't even really want to. No, what she really enjoyed was more the idea of having control over your life, to know that you were so desesperate that she was the only thing in her mind - and you didn't even know yet it was her behind that.

Now that you know, it'll only make it worse.

If she wouldn't hesitate to stab you, she knows that you would. After so many years of working with you, she had time to get to know you, and she was right thinking you didn't change, still being so predictable. She barely had to do anything to have you between her hands, you fell almost on her trap so easily that it was almost disappointing.

You are doing everything she guesses you will.

And she knows you won't kill her, *how could you?* You strongly believe in redemption and that, even if Natasha got lost, you can take her back, no matter how long it'll take. Everyone deserves a second chance.

The redhead thought it would be entertaining to see you try to "save her" and miserably fail before she ends your life. This is the revenge she was looking for.

"I'll leave you a little something to remember who you are dealing with," she murmurs as she lowers the knife, directing it toward your hips where she stabs you. She knows exactly what she is doing, to within a few millimeters, she would've killed you but she didn't. "See you soon," she added, and they're the last words she pronounces as she leaves the room.

It is a reminder of the power she has. She leaves you on the ground, alone and bleeding like an animal while she has no injuries. And, if this encounter ended up that way, it is only because she decided to, not because she had pity, nor because you decided to. She could've killed you in a second if she wanted to, and god, she loves that feeling.

Tags - @imnotslouching

Masterlist here.

#a spes writing #reader insert #female reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #anon request #angst no comfort #angst #no happy ending #friends to enemies #natasha romanoff imagine

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what-are-you-willing-to-do · 2 years

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Can I request a platonic yandere black phone boys x mother figure reader?

where like she helps them through their trauma and takes care of them when something is going on with their home life or if their just upset?

And they’re super protective over her because of it

Now as a agender person I suck at writing fem reader, but since you made this beautiful request I’ll do the motherly/fatherly reader of course but just with they/them. This is more of after you helped them with trauma and they got connected. This also can be platonic or romantic however you see it I guess please enjoy ❤️

Finney:

•Finney is more of an insecure overprotective guy

•poor thing lost his mother

•I mean you’ve helped him so much

•you’ve always been a parental figure in his life

•standing up to bullies

•being there for him

•just all in all you’ve been very supportive of him

•now he won’t go borderline insane but he’ll do subtle things that no one could realize

•he’ll ask you for help with simple stuff, ask you for hugs and stuff like that

•all in the way to get closer to you and keep you away from people

Robin:

•Robins more of a low profile yandere

•he doesn’t wanna get picked on for being protective over a parent friend/partner

•he’ll do his best to hang out with you

•asking you for study help

•even cooking just to get close to you

•always watches movies with you

Bruce:

•Bruce is an odd one

•he will not talk to you for some reason

•when he starts getting protective it’s like he distanced himself

•he just doesn’t wanna be overbearing on you

•he has a big reputation he doesn’t wanna lose his shit if someone talks to you

•he loves you to much to do that

Vance ❤️:

•OOOH BOY.

•he absolutely adores you for being there for him unlike his actual parents

•This man is AN ANGRY POSSESSIVE YANDERE

•he will make it clear that he doesn’t want you talking to anyone

•he will drag you away from someone if he has to

•you think he’s aggressive now? Just wait till someone tries to get close to you

•He will unleash the wrath of Satan onto the poor soul

•Vance has definitely hurt you in jealous rage

•Not physically but emotionally

•he doesn’t have good parents he bottles everything up and let’s it onto you

•he hates himself for it but he can’t help it YOUVE been there for him so you won’t care surely?

Billy:

•Paperboys a sweet yandere

•I can see him being a bit of a overprotective guy but not really

•he’ll most definitely ask you if you wanna deliver papers with him

•to be fair he just wants to bond with you in the sweetest way possible

•the most possessive thing he’ll do his grab your hand to pull you away from a conversation

•he’ll most definitely let you pet Samson

Griffin:

•this fucking gremlin is smug and obsessive

•he’ll drag you away by crying about random stuff

•he doesn’t care if he’s labeled a crybaby he just wants your attention

•he’ll make sure you don’t have any plans that don’t have him involved

•going to a concert? He’s going

•going to a funeral? He doesn’t care if he wasn’t invited he’s going

Bonus!

Gwen:

•she’ll make it clear about her possessiveness

•she will lie about having a bad dream about the person your getting close to

•the guilt will be excruciating but she’ll deal with it for you

•always is with you

•she will go into the bathroom with you she doesn’t care

•she will cuss out anyone who tries to get close to you after her many warnings

•she’ll even get physical for you

•she’s lost her actual mother and her asshole father doesn’t help

•she’s not letting you go EVER

#black phone x reader #gwen blake x reader #gwen blake #bruce yamada x reader #vance hopper x reader #finney blake #finney blake x reader #griffin black phone #billy black phone #fanfiction #yandere black phone #slayyyyy

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ichiruki · 2 years

Note

Don't know if you got same question as this ... But I want to ask can you explain why relationship between Rukia and Ichigo is romantic not friendly and show moments which actually shows how they have romantic feelings for eachother?

** you can ignore it if you want ... But I'm new here and in the fandom too so I had questions 😶 **

That’s the beauty of Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship! They love each other in many ways and since very early on. I think the Fullbring arc really cemented that they also love each other romantically because after having time apart we see just how much (and how fondly) they think of the other... and how nobody else comes close.

Chapter 424 is Ichigo telling us what’s been going on since the battle with Aizen and every panel is full with the calm life he’s living except when talking about not having powers. To me it suggests he has a lot of feelings about that fact and, given the size, he tries not to think about it too much.

But when we get to the panel about Rukia there’s so much empty space it takes up half the page. It’s presenting itself as the heaviest thing on his mind after the battle; not being able to see her.

Also, (this is just a theory) seeing this in color makes it look like the panels are connected up to this point... like if he thinks too long about what happened he’ll eventually think about her. “Now I don’t have any soul reaper powers” changes the subject to Karin. “It’s been 17 months since the battle” changes the subject to school. “Ever since then Rukia hasn’t come to KK once” the scene ends and transitions to one about missing her. It’s like Rukia is always in the back of his mind and after all this time it’s easier to avoid it.

Of course he misses her, but having an excuse for her ready proves how much she’s been on his mind, and outright denying it is so like him. I wouldn’t say this specifically is rooted in “romance” but with other moments we can see just how much he wants to see her again and it really goes beyond what he feels for anyone else.

Take for example when he only mentioned that Rukia hadn’t come to visit him despite having other friends from the SS, especially Renji. In the next chapter he dreamed of them and Byakuya but it’s Rukia that stands out.

She’s singled out from the guys and her panel is bigger, but what really separates her from them is the fact that it’s cropped sooo close to her face. There isn’t even a sliver of her shoulders, Ichigo is really concentrating here. Renji and Byakuya’s presence is enough but not when it comes to Rukia, he seems desperate to see her again.

Being a protector is literally in Ichigo’s name so losing the power to do so was hard on him, anyone could see that. Orihime was glad at first but ultimately had to ask Rukia to figure out a way to get his power back and Chad could barely look at him since he lost it. Chad goes on a little bit more about how wanting to fight/protect those around him makes Ichigo who he is, and while that’s definitely correct what comes next suggests that there’s something more important.

Love is subjective. Riruka drew her ability out through her love/adoration of cute material things and the happiness it brings her. Orihime persevered because of the love she feels for her best friend Tatsuki who always protected her. Chad manifested his ability because of the pride his family (his grandfather, who he loves) instilled in him. Fullbring can be activated with love that is familial, platonic, or even with a hobby/inanimate things.

Saving his sisters from the same monster that killed his mother wasn’t enough to activate his fullbring. Helping Orihime, Chad, and Uryu, his friends, also wasn’t enough. Being strong enough to hold back the equivalent of 100 thousand blades in the form of a ginormous, fiery bird wasn’t enough either. Apparently it doesn’t even slightly trigger it.

Remember when I said Ichigo was avoiding Rukia? She was present in each event he thinks about. Of course she isn’t the most important person in each scenario, but even in the moment he saves her life he doesn’t picture her face like the rest of them. Him doing that cements the fact that he’s trying to hold back thinking about her... until he can’t anymore.

The power comes all at once when he finally thinks of her. Just her.

At the end of the SS arc we figure out that what Ichigo wanted most when he saved Rukia was to see her smile again, and because of the power he gained for her sake he was able to do that; because of power he was able to save so many other people, too. The thing is, he remembers her in the moment he lost his powers; not one of the times he saves her or she saves him or the result of any of that. He began training for fullbring to protect the people important to him but it isn’t being activated by those bonds and instead by the pure desire to see her smiling again.

Putting everything together tells us that he loves her romantically; if his fullbring isn’t being activated by his platonic or familial bonds or the pride in having the power to protect them there is only one type of love that separates her from the rest.

We can keep going... with a liiiittle bit on Rukia, too.

Seeing her for the first time in 17+ months literally stopped the rain and put light back in his eyes after he lost his power AGAIN with the people he’s closest to turned against him. He was bawling his eyes out, more powerless than he’s ever been, and unsettled about his dad and Urahara’s sudden appearance, but she immediately put him at ease without any effort at all.

He believes in her right away just like she does in him. Like she always does.

When Rukia gets the chance to fully think about how special and strong Ichigo is, both in strength and heart, we see her in complete awe.

If she was simply proud and or amazed by him she could have replicated the smile she had at sokyoku hill when she felt his power “flowing into her.” The expressions on her face here (off the top of my head) are completely new and softer than ever. It looks like her own heart skipped a beat —

— It skipped just like time does when they’re seperated.

The arc opened with Ichigo wondering if he can keep up with the speed of the world without her and just about ended with this poem, “When the two that share destiny part and reunite, beyond the frame of time, the ceased clock will awake and start to tick once again.” Ichigo and Rukia are incomplete when they’re apart and are at their happiest when together.

When remembering her happiest moments during her fight with As Nodt, Rukia thought of Ichigo the most. When fighting Yhwach and remembering his most despairing moments, the night Ichigo lost Rukia to Renji and Byakuya comes second after losing his mom. The emphasis on their bond is consistent throughout the story and even until the last chapter.

If Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship was supposed to be strictly platonic the amount of content we were given would have to be cut in half. Cut down on the anime fillers/openings/endings, the movies, the musicals, the color spreads... the poems about the other person, the speeches about how one feels about the other, the emphasis on their shared trauma and the fact that they saved and helped each other overcome their misery, the overwhelming feeling of wanting to see the other person happy, Ichigo’s parents replicating his and Rukia’s first meeting, “The Love and Destiny Ichigo Inherited,” the partings, the reunions... Y’know, put all the ships on an even playing field, but that’s not what happened.

Ichigo and Rukia have the kind of relationship that was said to be “more than friends” since the second arc. 200 chapters later when they spend over a year without seeing or even speaking to each other we can see how they spent that time thinking of the other and more than anyone else. Time goes on but their bond will never break, and they don’t deserve anything less.

#bleach #ichiruki #meta

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littlemisssquiggles · 1 year

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With the recent episode having been released many shippers are saying this was the proof that Nuts and Dolts was canonized. Via through Ruby’s actions towards Penny’s sword and her speech about her. What are your thoughts on it?

Personally I never saw their relationship as romantic. Their interactions to me have always been things that friends just do. Now if they acted like Blake and Yang I would be more convinced but I just don’t see the romance shippers claim is there with them.

But then again I am aroace so romance is lost on me sometimes, maybe I just don’t understand that aspect but I always valued their friendship more.

Hello there anon-chan.

Speaking for myself here--- while I’ve been fond of the close dynamic between Ruby and Penny in the past, I too share in your opinions of never once perceiving their relationship to be anything more than simply platonic.

Similar to Whiterose, I’ve never one gotten romantic vibes from neither Penny nor Ruby. That’s just never been the nature of their relationship as portrayed in the show.

Penny and Ruby are friends. Heck, I’ll even go as far as to say that Penny was more of a best friend to Ruby than Weiss who was supposed to fit that role.

There is no doubt that Ruby cared deeply about Penny. Ruby was literally the first friend that Penny ever made. Even Penny’s theme that was featured for the first time at the end of V8 was titled “Friend” and was clearly about her friendship with Ruby.

Ruby and Penny are friends and always will be.

Ruby’s expression of her from today’s episode doesn’t change that; at least in my opinion. Penny was someone important to Ruby. Not as a lover or even a crush. Just a very dear friend she clearly loved and has now lost.

And the reason why Penny’s death is deeply affecting Ruby right now in the story is because, for the second time, Penny has been killed while Ruby was far away completely powerless to prevent it from happening.

We already saw how much Penny’s death deeply impacted Ruby the first time based off of what she told Oscar back in V5 and how the imagery of Penny’s murder at the Vytal Festival acted as a mental block to Ruby using her silver eyes on the Leviathan back in V6.

Now it’s happened all over again and unlike the last time, Penny is gone for good this time.

Ruby failed to protect her friend AGAIN! So it’s no surprise that it would eat at her both emotionally and psychologically.

But like with everything else that has happened, Ruby will attempt to bottle her emotions up for the sake of not giving into her unhappiness. Her negative emotions.

What Ruby is feeling right now for Penny is grief. The pain of losing someone who meant something to you.

Yes, Ruby cared a lot for Penny. I’ll go as far as to say that Ruby may have even loved Penny. But that doesn’t signify that Ruby was ever in love with Penny and vice versa. There’s a difference.

Basically what I’m saying in a nutshell is not all forms of love and incredibly deep connections are romantic only. Platonic love exists and that’s what I believe we’re seeing with Nuts and Dolts. Penny was one of Ruby’s most dearest friends so it makes sense for her death to hit her. Doesn’t mean there’s any romantic intentions behind it.

Anyone who thinks otherwise…well, that’s their opinion. And this is mine.

As someone who has become completely exasperated by the nonsensical nature of the shipping wars that go down in the RWBY community, I am sincerely not interested in digging up any dead horses and having debates/arguments with any shippers about the probability of their ship being canon or not. Despite being a romantic and have a gigantic shipping heart myself, I’m just so tired of shipping drama when it comes to RWBY. It’s not fun. It’s just so tiresome to listen to which is why I’ve disconnected myself from it entirely.

That being said, if the Nuts and Dolt shippers wish to claim today’s episode as a so-called “win” for their favourite pairing as they attempt to cling to any tiny remnants of it, then let them have their fun, I guess.

Bottomline, I don’t see Ruby’s speech about Penny confirming anything. Once more, I think the shippers are merely overexaggerating things to help rationalize their push behind their favourite ship while completely ignoring the actual context of the scene in the show.

To me, Nuts and Dolts is, was and always will be just a really good FRIEND-ship that ended in tragedy.

Nothing was confirmed (except Penny being the catalyst to Ruby’s eventual emotional breakdown to come later in the season).

Ruby and Penny’s “romance” isn’t canonized at all because their romance never existed to begin with.

Today’s episode does not change that. Ruby’s speech about Penny from today was not a proclamation of romantic love.

Just a girl clearly in pain sharing nothing but sincere words of admiration for her deceased friend while trying to keep things together and not crumble under the weight of how sad and angry she is about that.

It was like listening to Ruby give a eulogy for Penny at the funeral she never got to have rather than a love confession. What about that is romantic?

At least that's how this squiggle meister sees it.

In order to change my stance on this, I would actually need to hear Ruby Rose say in the show that she loved Penny Polendina as more than just a friend and not like family either.

And that’s NOT what happened in today’s episode.

Those are my thoughts on that. Hope I answered your question anon-chan.

~LMS (2023)

#squiggles answers: rwby #rwby volume 9 #rwby volume 9 spoilers

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viiktorious · 2 months

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⧼ sean teale, cis man, he/him / achilles come down by gang of youths + viktor - latin origin meaning 'champion' you were named with the intention that no matter what the situation you're in you'll always come out on top. it's a heavy burden to place on someone's shoulder, and you felt the weight at a very young age. lucky for you you've always shown promise and talent. the sky blessed you with the innate ability to fly across it with ease, to do what many non-magical men can only dream of. it's a blessing and you've taken it with stride. it fills you in ways nothing else seems to do. with a broom and golden in your hand you've become victorious; family - a sacred bond. the reason you exist and the collection of hands that molded you into the man you are now. in an environment where the pull of darkness is like a siren song they are the reason you have not been led astray. the past, the people you've lost have become the guiding light in your life. friends - the family you make. the reason you know that sometimes some bonds are just as strong as the pull of the blood coursing through your veins. blood you would readily spill if those bonds were ever endangered. fiercely loyal to a fault. you'd put your life on the line for anyone that earned a spot within your heart; love - old english, german, latin or ancient greek. to love is to care. filial, platonic or romantic. the latter... for you? unknown. more elusive than a golden snitch. it is something you dream about, to have what so many before you were able to obtain. the path of a victor is lonely it seems. ⧽ ━━ hey, isn’t that VIKTOR KRUM? i read a daily prophet article on them, once ; the THIRTY TWO year old pure blood WIZARD is a DURMSTRANG INSTITUTE alumnus who has gone on to be a WORLD CLASS QUIDDITCH PLAYER & TEMPORARY HOGWARTS CO-COACH. i’ve heard they can be quite LOYAL & HONORABLE, but i don’t know… they came off very CLOSED OFF & SHORT TEMPERED in that interview. it really is hard to know what to believe these days though, isn’t it?

he's an only child and it shows. his parents ( aleksander and stefania krum ) spoiled him quite a bit, but that love also came with very high expectations for viktor. their affection seemed to be a little bit transactional, though i don't believe they did it intentionally and had his best interest at hand... but he realized at a young age that if he got good grades then soon after he would get a new broom, or the toys he'd been eyeing at the store on their last outing. it was sort of a 'win-win' situation but also an incredibly heavy burden. though it was also partially self-imposed. ( he was a little bit too proud to not strive to be the best in everything he was involved in )

he's very much an example of 'only child syndrome' with certain traits ( most of them not good ) though mainly the difficulty to socialize, the inability to share, the perfectionism, introversion, sensitivity to criticism, and as he grew up... the loneliness. which honestly didn't get any better once he started to show some real talent for quidditch, but it seemed like besides his teammates everyone only wanted to get close to him for their five seconds of fame and he honestly hated that.

the fact that he seemed to be a bit of an outlier in durmstrang, a dark arts institute with igor karkaroff as a headmaster during his schooling, also didn't make things any easier. the people he actually trusted were very few, he was able to count them with one hand. his short temper made him very ... use fists first, ask questions later ... so you know, not the best way to make meaningful connections !

then his last year came and we all know how that turned out, but basically: visiting hogwarts ( good ), meeting hermione ( very good ), befriending harry ( also very good ), being selected for the triwizard tournament ( not in his plans but why not ? new experiences and all ), being manipulated like a puppet with the imperius curse by a death eater, forced to torture cedric diggory with the cruciatus curse and then getting stunned and disqualified ? ( 0 / 10 quite frankly very awful, would NOT recommend, still have nightmares about it ).

after that i like to imagine he graduated and started trying to live his best life as a quidditch player then fast forward to fleur's wedding ... someone he ✨ trauma bonded ✨ and kept in contact with ... getting ambushed and attacked by even more death eaters ? click here for his reaction !

feeling that attack a little bit too personal he decided to stay in britain and help the order of the phoenix as much as he could. i don't think he was heavily involved in the second wizarding war, not in the front lines and definitely not nearly as much as he would have wanted to be. but he did provide aid, and a safe heaven to those that needed to get out of britain and had gotten hurt somehow. ( he was a pretty good healer, almost had to be with how accident prone quidditch players are ) but he did his best to help as much as possible. i have more Thoughts here and Possibilities but i still need to unravel them some more. him not being heavily involved also meant he didn't find out about many things until way after the fact ( mainly harry's "death" ) he only stayed until the funeral and then promptly went back to bulgaria to try to keep on living despite everything that happened.

back in bulgaria... home doesn't feel like home anymore. so he dives into his passion full time, not being one too in tune with his emotions he decides to do his utmost to ignore and move on. and it does work for a few years at least, but the universe has a funny way of repeating events and he gets word of what's happening again. and so he takes a "break" from his quidditch career and contacts professor mcgonagall for a position as a temporary co-coach... though his intention is more being involved, actually helping this time and hopefully protecting those he holds dear.

aaaaand... this is where we are now ♡

#≿ ♔ ┊ 𝙑𝙄𝙆𝙏𝙊𝙍 𝙆𝙍𝙐𝙈 ┊ ✖ ⊰ ❝ about. ❞ ≾#nox.intro

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truebluewhocanoe · 1 year

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13 + yaz dialogue snippet

A 13 + Yaz dialogue snippet, inspired by Dr Nyarlathotep and some of my Time Lord headcanons. Can be read as platonic but very Thasmin-y. I might incorporate this into a real fic, who knows.

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“It’s more of a torso. And an arm. Both. An arm-torso. Earth doesn’t really have any of those.”

“Right… and your arm-torso just happens to look identical to a human being.”

“Other way around.”

“Huh?”

“It’s the other way around. Time Lords came first. Humans look like Time Lords.”

“But we evolved from apes. And mammals. And fish. Not from Time Lords… right?”

“Yes. Well, you were helped along by Silurians, but… yes.”

“What are the odds of that? And a lot of aliens we’ve met have two legs an’ arms as well.”

“Yes, well… you aren’t descended from Time Lords. But it is their fault. Kind of.”

“What do you mean, ‘kind of?’”

“You see… when the universe was young, not young in your species’ understanding but young, before the proto-timefaring species, it wasn’t a universe in the way you’d understand it. It wasn’t one chain of events, one after the other, from start to finish. It was more like… a big blobby bunch of potential events, all lined up inside of each other. Different starts, different ends, sometimes the rules were even tweaked a little. The first timefaring species jumped across these timelines, exploring and connecting. But the Time Lords had a different idea. They were going to tame the universe, put order to it. So they made the Web of Time. They picked the timeline they liked best, where a lot of the people looked a lot like a Time Lord’s arm-torso. They picked certain important events that determined the course that timeline took, and fixed them in space and time. They used them to anchor the Web, forcing the other timelines to collapse into the one they’d chosen. This Web became all there was to the universe, the other timefaring species lost in the chaos. A neat little bonus, that, eliminating all the competitors.”

“That’s… horrible. That’s genocide! How many-”

“Too many, Yaz, I know. Gone forever. But they didn’t stop there. Their act thinned the borders of this universe. Other universes nearby, still full of potential, could harbor species who could threaten the Web. So the Time Lords expanded their creation, stretching it over many universes, collapsing entire dimensions to make their perfect order.”

“So the Master… he stopped them, by killing them? Is that why-”

“No. That was long before our time. The founder Rassilon had a falling out with the civilization he’d raised up, and Time Lord society fell into turmoil. Expansion paused, then ceased. All the nearby universes had been conquered, and the Time Lords could safely rest on their laurels atop the Web of Time. Intervention of any kind in universal affairs became taboo, so as to never threaten the Web. Instead, they focused on science, testing and studying ways that they could further control the vortex. The Master and I were born in the era of non-intervention.”

“I see…”

“You see some of it, I’m sure.”

“Doctor-”

“Don’t, Yaz. I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m sorry you had to hear about this at all.”

“Doctor. You don’t have to hide yourself. I don’t care if you have five tails and six sets of horns and three halos and twenty eyes-”

“-Twenty-six eyes-”

“-and twenty six eyes, you’re still my friend. You’re still the Doctor to me. Thank you for sharing that, about the Time Lords. But you know it doesn’t make me think less of you, right? That you were strong enough to share that… it makes me think higher of you. It’s when you run away from me, when you try to hide the truth from me, that I get frustrated.”

“...”

“I’m here for you. Not the TARDIS, not the adventures… I’m here for the Doctor. All of you.”

#doctor who #the doctor #the thirteenth doctor #yazmin khan #thasmin #dr nyarlathotep #dialogue #dialogue snippet

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soulvomit · 2 years

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Something that is coming up for me in my writing is that I’ve had to confront some stuff about the pushback on the trope of the man who loses his wife and goes on a quest or revenge kick, like, we just don’t empathize with that guy. Even though he has lost his entire world. Even though he has lost the one person he’s connected to. We don’t empathize with him. He isn’t deserving of our understanding. The world he’s from is fundamentally alien to most NT women, who aspirationalize (and can better count upon) having social networks and family support. But the man who’s lost his wife, his life is over. Yet. I empathize with that guy, and it’s interesting to me writing basically the same arc (for half of my work) with an autistic female character whose one real connection *is* her late spouse, then being powerfully drawn into a psychologically complex interaction with another “this is the only person who gets me” person.

And I think lots of NT women can’t wrap their minds around this dynamic as pertains to tropes about men, because they expect (and feel entitled to) such a basic baseline of connection/understanding from most NT women.

And if I lost my partner, I would find my life very very difficult in lots of meaningful ways besides just the companionship/sex/fun he brings to my life which according to our culture and zeitgeist of the last couple of decades, are easily replaceable if you’re a Cool Enough Person, right? (How does that even work for anyone my age or older? I feel like lots of Boomers are in a shit situation right now if they based their life around 70s cultural ideals, if they’re not actually rich enough to just stay Fucking Cool Enough Forever. Coolness is a middle class cultural trap that leaves you high and dry once your sexy parts start sagging, and your time as a consumer is over.)

And post-1970s psychology can’t wrap its mind around this, either. Someone who’s that dependent upon one person or even just their family, instead of leaning heavily into a group of platonic or casually-sexual upper middle class peers and having lots of fucking commercially groovy fun all the time, that was a major values change that younger people (including many in my own age group) don’t really connect to their Silent Generation and older relatives over and some more trad-ish Boomers.

Like, one reason no one can convince my mom that her autistic-shaped life is abnormal is because to her, just being into your partner and kids and kinda hiding behind your husband and having only a handful of superficial interactions (maybe one good woman friend, who is often a neighbor or something) is really really normal and nothing shameworthy. I’ve talked before about how she sees herself as normal because she gets to be normal. And there is a lot I can’t talk to her about regarding my life because basically her solution to anything would be that I should make some life choice or structure my life in some way that is only available to women in the 1970s-80s (which is the cultural sweet spot - during and right after women’s lib/the Sexual Revolution/the Civil Rights Movement, but before the complete loss of the American middle class).

This was a ramble that didn’t really go anywhere I’m sorry

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mental-health-advice · 1 year

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I had a crush on someone last year and it was very strong in the beginning and eventually subsided after a month or two. I also really admired the person platonically and wanted to be their friend/get to know them better as well, so it wasn't entirely a romantic thing. Anyway, when I pulled myself together I did say goodbye to them and everything (we're at university so I won't see them again because of the year ending etc) and had asked them if they wanted to hang out (1)

(2) It was a message, so they responded to my goodbye and everything, but not the hanging out part, so i got the gist that they werent interested. I feel guilty tho bcs I think about them here and there still, some times more than others, and honestly sometimes check if they're online. Idk, maybe it makes me feel connected. I feel like i'm invading some kind of boundaries/privacy and it makes me so uncomfortable. I dont want to do that. but why are they still on my mind almost a year later?

(3) why cant i just move on? I dont get why im like this. I wish I could just forget them and move on, but ive always been sensitive to rejection. It did hurt, but i'm not in the same place right now and I just wish I could get rid of them from my memory and move on.

Hey there,

It can be so difficult when we become friends with someone regardless if it is a friendship or something more and then having to part with them for some reason, whether it is in or out of our control.

I know that you mentioned that you sent this person a message saying goodbye but asking if they still wanted to hang out now and again but when they replied saying goodbye, maybe they were in a rush and didn’t fully read the message and consequently not taking it all in and it not fully registering in their mind of what you were asking? Or perhaps they got confused with you saying your goodbye but then asking if they still wanted to hang out with you? Whatever the reason though (and you only have to do this if you feel comfortable doing so) but maybe send a follow up message to them asking if they wanted to hang out and do something with you like getting a coffee or something like that?

In regards to not being able to get them off your mind and always thinking of them, this is completely normal. For example, I recently lost contact with a really good friend of mine (their decision not mine) and I still can’t get them off my mind and it’s been over a year now. I also often see on messenger if they have been online or not. I don’t feel it’s an invasion of privacy though but more of just curiosity if that makes sense?

Another example, slightly different was many years ago when I decided to change therapists. The therapist I stopped seeing though was still constantly on my mind with many questions going around and around in my head. Things like:

Does she hate me

Did I end things right

Does she think of me too

Why didn’t I just suck it up and keep seeing her (I am also quite sensitive when it comes to relationships ending or being rejected by another)

I was very lucky in the above situation though as I was able to reconnect with her for a one off therapy session to allow me to get some closure and just talk about how things ended and why and just an update on how I have been going since that therapeutic relationship ended. This helped a me a lot and she is no longer on my mind like she was.

I guess what I am trying to say is that even if this person doesn’t want to see you or hang out, is there a way that you can get closure from the relationship you had with them? Perhaps you could ask if you could see them to say a proper goodbye face-to-face or even do something memorable for them as a way of saying goodbye in your own personal/ special way by yourself?

There is nothing wrong to have them on your mind still but I do understand the frustration with this and the wanting to just lose ‘those memories’ in a way so you can continue your life without any obstacles if that makes sense?

This is where closure can be really helpful but again not always possible like (yes another example sorry) but my last therapist died suddenly from cancer and although I saw her and said goodbye I still think of her often and sometimes every day. I write letters to her sometimes and this seems to help at times but I also feel like remembering her is a healthy thing for me as she was a positive aspect of my life.

So, is there a possibility where you could write a letter to this person (it doesn’t need to be sent) just expressing how you feel, what the relationship meant to you, and that even though you may have had some really great times together, you want to just move on now and get on with your life. This may or may not be helpful but maybe worth giving it a go as sometimes when we get things out of our head and onto paper it can really help.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #mental health #mental health advice #anonoymous #friend #friend being on mind #getting closure #moving on in life

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homeiswhereyoubelong · 17 days

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i do not think i have ever had someone actually care about me. maybe a few people, there have only been a few. S has always loved and cared about me and now i am starting to feel like i am too sick for him to handle, he has always been with me and loved me and knew about my mental state and he has always stayed.. i just feel so terrible. WHY AM I LIKE THIS? if there were a god, i wish he could fucking tell me why I’m like this or why i have to feel this way. But yeah, no one has ever truly been concerned about me or shown that they cared and loved me. my friend B is my only friend in person. he seems to care about me and it feels good to be friends with someone that has the same humor as you. i have only ever had one close friend during my teenage years, the rest have been lying assholes and people i never really felt a connection with.

i think it’s safe to say that the online friends I’ve had throughout my life have lasted for YEARS, they have cared about me in a way no other person would. i had a really great online friend that i knew from 2017-2021 & he’s fucking dead and I miss him so much. I think of him almost often. I miss him and our conversations, we never even had anything romantic going on, it was strictly platonic. but we cared about each other so much, he was amazing and now he’s fucking gone. i always remember our conversations and many other things, he was a true gem. i wish i got the closure i needed from him, the last time we talked was when i went to GA in 2021 and i sent him a huge paragraph on how much he meant to me and how great of a friend he was and then he replied and i was going to get back at it (i was working at the time) and then once i was going to reply I saw that he deleted all his messages with me and unfriended me. that’s how i knew something definitely went down with him. he had always talked about his plan and what he was going to do and told me was going to do it by that time or later, he was completely set on it. He had never blocked me before and even if we didn’t talk for whatever reason & he lost his account, he always found me again somehow. This time he just never came back. I feel so fucking terrible about it. I feel guilty and terrible. I don’t know what to even feel anymore.

now I only have 1 online friend, maybe 2? i don’t know what happened. i don’t know how it even came to this. i am completely friendless and alone. i have tried and tried to socialize all my life and its nothing but draining and i feel it has gotten me nowhere. there must be something wrong with me. I cannot maintain friendships whatsoever unless i really have that bond with them. Like I said, my online connections have been way more stronger and lasted for much longer than actual friends irl. i only had one close friend in my teen years and that cunt fucking betrayed me, they all do. lying fucking whores.

So, no. i don’t have anyone or anything. people think they know me but they only know what i present to them, they don’t know how loving i can be or what i have to offer. i think people are scared of me. i am not someone who wants to murder people, i am not someone who bullies others, i am not the type of person to be a bitch or an asshole, i am nice to everyone i see no matter who they are or what they are as long as they respect me and are nice to me, i am respectful towards everyone, i am honest and caring, i love too fucking hard, i am way too empathetic towards everyone and everything & yet people think i’m this dangerous battered individual who wants to kill others or myself, and all i fucking want is to be loved and to be heard. THAT IS ALL I WANT. i am sick of people having this perception or view of me. i can’t even express myself online without having someone think i’m fucking demented or a threat. i can barely get out of my house to go out, I have to recite what im going to say before going somewhere, i have no friends, i spend my days in my room when im not in school, i waste away in my room, i love and care too much about others, i am always filled with guilt, i am too socially anxious to even be in a crowded place or around others. i am paranoid. i just want to be good and express my inner thoughts and the things im interested in but people just want to have this false fucking narrative on me when they don’t even know me personally or even know what i’m like in person. why does it have to be me specifically? i see others post about more fucked up shit than i do, and no one says shit to them. oh but no, if I post something about OSMBLDN or sp11 or just talk about the government and how corrupt the world is - here comes everyone! thinking i’m some fucking terrorist! god forbid I post about islam! jesus fucking christ, i get it if a friend of mine is concerned for me but really - me and my friend B joke about these things everyday. i find certain things interesting and that does not mean i am going to go out and kill a bunch of people, i have no desire to do that, no desire for anything, as much as i hate humans and the world - i would never in my life murder anyone, i am too empathetic and care too much to do that. i wouldn’t want to throw away my life all because i took someone else’s. i have never understood just how one could simply murder someone without feeling bad. i am not that type of person and i wish people knew. i just want to be understood, loved, heard, cherished, & cared about, i just want to be heard.

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veritasss5 · 6 months

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hi there! thanks for offering us this game - can i participate in it?

i’m interested in ur reading bc i’m having some energy/mental blockages when it comes to attracting and healing my relationships with people (i mean both platonic and romantic relationships), and ur reading is oriented around loa which is really unique and helpful!

my questions are:

1) there was someone, lets called him Dee, who asked me out a month ago and i was really interested in him but we have tried meeting up twice and both failed. i want to ask what is standing in the way of us meeting up/coming tgt?

2) when i was in college i approached friendships in really transactional and ruthless ways, all of my focus was to get a high social status and i didnt care much abt genuine connections with ppl. eventually i lost everything, not only did I not get the social status I want but I also didn't gain many friendships either. so i gave up on friends in college altogether and just focused on graduating and career, and i succeeded in this area. now i have a new life in a new city and i've made new friends here that are both genuine friendships and both help me in my social standing (i've learned my lesson to balance both aspects), but i still regret what I did in college and really missed my college friends. luckily many ppl in my college have also moved to this new city im at for work, and i've met a few of them here, and i know there are still groups of them that still hang out together. I want to ask how I can be meet/be connected to these ppl from my college again (like be invited to their hang outs or gatherings, talk to them regularly, etc)?

i go by Peace! tysm again

Hello, I am so sorry that you wrote your situation and it took your time to write up, but unfortunately as the rules state: no third parties questions and questions that involves peoples.

My standing is this since I am a loa believer:

Work on yourself. Work on your assumptions and beliefs. Believe in what you want and you eventually get it. You shouldn’t even question about what other people are gonna think of you and how to make people to like you.

Be you. Assume that those people want to talk with you and miss you so much REGARDLESS of what happened in the past.

Example for your college friends:

Affirm and assume as it is a true fact that they incredibly miss you, they forgot and move on about what happened in the past. Your college friends always invite you out and hang out together. You both like the dynamic of the friendship, you feel loved and respected by them. Your friends love to talk with you everyday.

Engrave your new desired assumptions in your mind. Wake up and sleep as this is true and you don’t need to worry anymore.

The law never fails.

Everything comes FROM you. That is why I refuse third parties questions, unless you are asking if some sort of universe or god is blocking you from your desires, which I don’t believe but well this question doesn’t hurt your manifestation or affect you deeply.

Also remember that everyone is you pushed out, so asking people to stop acting in a certain way in 3d reality is pointless. Do the work from within and assume those people respect you without you begging to the 3d reality.

Feel free to change the questions and good luck🫶🏻♥️

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shycoconutt · 3 years

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I Need You (Kakashi x Reader Smut)

A/n: Oh boy do I got some smutty smut for you. This is my first time writing smut and I think I did okay! Please let me know what you think and, as always, feel free to send some requests my way! 🤍

Summary: You find yourself unbelievably horny waiting for Kakashi to get home from work. The night goes exactly as planned.

Word Count: 4200

Warnings: NSFW ( minors, there's the door -> 🚪), fem!reader, vaginal sex, rough sex, doggy style, cunnilingus

Gods, why am I so horny?

Sat in the reading chair in the corner of your and Kakashi’s bedroom, you find yourself unable to focus on the new novel you picked up at the bookstore this morning. Each time you try to focus on the words in front of you, your eyes start to drift off the page and fall on your bed across the room. The bed where Kakashi and you have had sex now maybe a dozen times. You two have been platonic partners for years, but it wasn’t until recently where you both allowed your feelings to blossom into romance. Some would say that your relationship with Kakashi came on fast, but those who say that don’t truly know either of you.

After the war, and after keeping your feelings for each other bottled down for years, Kakashi took you on a vacation to a quaint village on the outskirts of Konoha. During your stay, you two could finally relax and find comfort in each other. The future seemed less uncertain, and you allowed yourself to open up in ways you never had before. You both knew you loved each other, that you were meant for each other, but the stress of war and the lack of knowledge that either of you would come out alive prevented anything from happening. The last thing either of you wanted to do was take the other’s heart six feet under.

It was the third night on the trip when he proposed to you. Kakashi and you were naked together in the natural hot spring, embracing each other in the water. The words he spoke to you that night are etched in your brain, never to be forgotten.

“My whole life I’ve been fighting; fighting for Konoha, fighting for my team, fighting for our friends, fighting my demons, fighting the truth, and fighting the feelings I have for you. I never understood why it was so hard to escape you, but it isn’t until now where I finally understand. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do. Our love is so natural, so pure. It pains me to know that our reality has muddled it for so long. You are the best thing that’s ever come into my life, and the gods only know how thankful I am that you have been by my side through it all. Everything I’ve ever gone through, every challenge I’ve had to overcome, you’ve guided me along the way. I used to think I was undeserving of your love, but now that we both are standing here, bruised and battered by our past, I realize that it was always supposed to be this way. You and me. Forever.”

That was the night you and Kakashi shared your first kiss. The night you first held each other in a naked embrace. The night you touched the skin normally concealed under each other's clothes. The night you trailed kisses down his chest, to his stomach, his hip, and up his shaft. The night you grabbed him in your hand and stroked him while looking into his eyes. The night you felt his tongue draw across your nipples. The night you felt him suck and nibble at your neck. The night you felt his fingers, god his fingers, trace up your wet heat to rub onto your most sensitive spot. The night he held onto your hip and slid into your tenderness. The night you whispered sweet nothings in each other's ears while he pumped into you. The night you made love, four times.

It’s been a week since your mini-vacation of ultimate bliss. Immediately after arriving back to the village, you both moved out of your individual apartments and moved into the Hatake estate, per Kakashi’s request. When you asked him if this is truly what he wanted, he assured you that this was the place he wanted to make a home with you and your future children. He also liked that the estate is largely removed from the Hokage tower, where he will be spending the majority of his time in the future. Renovations are far from over, but your bedroom was the first area of the house to be set up. It’s your shared sanctuary, and to be completely honest, you’ve never felt more at home.

The only word to describe this week between you and Kakashi is passionate. Even with opposite schedules, you both make time for one another every day. You’ve been insanely busy at your new job that you acquired post-war, spearheading the mental health resource center for war veterans and shinobi still in active duty. Kakashi is busy shadowing Tsunade while she sorts out post-war rehabilitation plans for the village. This is your first day off and, unfortunately, Kakashi is out doing future Hokage duties. Though frustrating, both of you are super understanding of each other's roles in this village and you respect that time with each other may be limited in the coming years. That’s why any chance you get, you both check in on each other throughout your day. Whether it’s offering to take his ninken on a walk while he’s in the office, or him bringing you breakfast when you get to work, you find opportunities to be present in each other’s daily lives.

The evenings, however, are a whole other story. Both of you are usually home a little after eight, and you’ve adapted to having late dinners with each other. After cleaning up, the rest of the evening is spent wrapped up in each other. One thing you weren’t expecting about being with Kakashi is that he is constantly touching you when you are alone together. His hands are either on your thighs, wrapped in your hair, caressing your face, squeezing your arms, massaging your shoulders, touching your lips, or any other way he can get them on you. You crave his touch, so to say that you enjoy this side of him is an understatement. Not only does Kakashi adore touching you, he also adores being touched.

Touching leads to caressing, caressing leads to groping, and groping leads to passionate lovemaking.

Well, geez (y/n), maybe if you stopped daydreaming about Kakashi’s hands all over you then you wouldn’t be this goddamn horny.

Here’s the thing with you and Kakashi’s newfound sex life. You are in the early stages. All the sex you have is all about romance, making up for the lost time, and finally expressing your feelings with your body. It’s amazing and you wouldn’t change your lovemaking for the world.

But right now, you don’t desire lovemaking. You desire rough, animalistic, dirty, dirty sex.

The kind of sex that makes you shudder in desire and fear.

The kind of sex that makes in between your legs sore the next day.

Realizing you’ve been daydreaming for the past fifteen minutes, you close your novel shut and toss it aside. You look over at the clock on your nightstand to find that it’s almost time for Kakashi to be home. Usually, you would already be cooking something up for dinner, but you have a feeling that any food you make would just get cold. Eating is not your priority right now, Kakashi is.

A devious smile forms at your lips when you consider what you plan on doing with him when he walks through the front door. Should you take him right there? Get down on your knees and beg for him? Run a warm, candle-lit bath? Put whip cream on your tits and tell him that you’re his dinner? All great options, but none are really representative of how much you need him.

In one swift movement, you are up off your chair and running towards your closet. He could be here any minute and there’s no time to waste. Once there, you take in how disorganized your closet is. You have yet to unpack any of your clothes, as all you’ve worn the past week is your jonin uniform and your pajamas. Rummaging through the boxes sprawled out on the floor, you finally find which box you are looking for. The box looks like any other box, but written on the side in marker is the word intimates.

Bingo.

One might think you are a sex fiend with all the lingerie you own, but that is far from reality. The truth is, lingerie has always made you feel sexy. Most of all, it’s just so pretty. You love the power it gives you. You love the fact that no one knows that some days you are wearing the world’s skimpiest lingerie underneath your uniform. It’s like you have an edge on someone that they don't even realize. Also, when you did happen to end up in bed with a man, you were over-prepared. The look on their faces when you stripped off your clothes was priceless. It was your way of telling them that you expected them to want you.

There are way too many options to choose from, and you find yourself starting to panic as time passes on. You know you’re overthinking this as, honestly, Kakashi would love anything you put on. Some things you know about Kakashi are that his favorite color is blue, he loves your thighs and is obsessed with how soft your skin is. Therefore, you should obviously go for the baby blue lace and silk set. It includes a lace balconette bra, a thong connected to thigh garters, and a silk robe to go over the top. After putting it on and taking a look at yourself in the mirror, you knew you made the right choice.

Before finding a comfortable spot on the bed, you quickly grab some baby oil and rub it all over your body. The oil will allow Kakashi to slide his hands all over you effortlessly, which is exactly what you need. Satisfied, you grab your book and lay on top of your made bed. You weren’t planning on actually reading, but you think your casualness while wearing such a sexy outfit will have Kakashi’s head spinning.

So there you were, belly down, ass out, feet intertwined, book in hand, when you heard the lock click and the front door open. Perfect timing.

You could hear Kakashi kick off his shoes and take off his vest as he walked into your home. Usually, you would be standing in the kitchen where he would come and give you a warm embrace and kiss you until you told him that he has to eat dinner. But, you're not there, and you can sense his confusion.

“Where’s my babygirl?” Kakashi’s voice projects throughout the house, a hint of concern in his voice. You smile at the thought of the pout that’s probably on his face right now.

“Sorry sweetheart, I’ve been caught up in my new book. I’m in the bedroom,” you call back to him.

You hear what sounds like a sigh of relief as his footsteps make their way down your hallway in the direction of your bedroom, the sounds of pieces of his uniform dropping off of him every few steps. You make sure to keep your head turned to the door so you can take in his reaction to your state.

“Oh, the new book you got this morning? How is it? Let me guess, you already finished-”

An indescribable feeling shoots through your whole body as Kakashi enters your bedroom. He just finished pulling his mask down his face, as his hand is still caught to the fabric pooling around his neck. With a smile on your face, you soak in his expression as he’s stood in the entrance of your room, a deep blush forming on his cheeks and his mouth still agape in mid-sentence. His eyes dart back and forth from your face to the bottom of your ass that’s hanging out of your silk robe.

Damn, you really did that (y/n).

“What’s wrong, Kashi?” You say in the most innocent voice you can muster. You bat your eyelashes and flip over to sit up so he can get a good look at you. You let your book drop off the bed and land on the floor.

There’s another pause before Kakashi slowly walks towards you on the bed. Without speaking, he reaches a hand out to you. You take it and he pulls you up so you're kneeling on the bed as he stands in front of you. His dark eyes bore into yours as both of his hands drop to your thighs. Slowly, he grazes them up over your hips, your waist, up the sides of your breasts, to wrap around the back of your neck. You can feel the hairs on your skin stand in anticipation. With his hands still wrapped around you, he brings his head down to you and grazes his mouth on your jawline. From there he plants small kisses up the side of your face until he reaches your ear where he nibbles before speaking to you in a strained, low tone.

“You’re a very dangerous woman, (y/n).”

He must have felt you shudder because you could feel him smile against your cheek. Standing up straight again, Kakashi’s hands drop to the tie of your robe around your waist.

“May I?” he asks, giving you the sexiest look you’ve ever seen. Kakashi has been so effortlessly attractive since you met when you were young. Having these intimate moments with him almost seems surreal.

“Of course, Hatake,” you smile up at him.

Taking the tie in his hands, he starts to unravel the knot keeping your robe together. Once loose, he lets it fall over your shoulders and off your body completely.

After a few moments taking in the sight of you, Kakashi lets out a deep sigh and shakes his head.

“You’re so out of my league,” he confesses to you.

You let out a small giggle.

“Absolutely not,” you protest.

Without missing a beat, Kakashi grabs on to you and tosses you back on the bed so you are laying down underneath him. One of his hands wraps around the back of your head while the other cups your breast. Pulling the fabric of your bra down, he kneads your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. One of his knees lands in between your legs and he brings it up to press on to you. You can’t help the moan that escapes as you feel him all around you.

“So what’s the deal?” Kakashi teases. “I leave you alone in the house for one day and I come back to this?” He looks down at your body and back up again. “Where did you get this outfit, hm?”

“Oh baby,” you start teasing him back, “I guess one thing you don’t know about me yet is that I wear lingerie like this all the time.”

“Oh really?” he questions.

“Yep, all the time.” You smirk at what you’re about to say next. “Actually, remember that one time we were stationed together in the Earth country for a month for that S-rank assassination mission?”

Kakashi nods, confused where you’re going with this story.

“We let our guards down and almost hooked up the last night before we came back to the village.”

“I remember.”

“Well,” you pause for effect, “guess what I was wearing underneath my uniform that night?”

Kakashi remains silent, brows furrowed waiting for you. You smile at him deviously as you say your answer.

“This.”

Kakashi lets out what can only be described as an aroused, defeated groan when you utter your confession. He quickly comes back down and your mouths crash together in a heated frenzy. It isn’t until now when you realize that his bulge is hard against your leg, asking to be broken free from the confinement of his pants. While making out, you reach down and slip your hand under his waistband and grab onto his throbbing cock, stroking it in your hand. Although rock hard, the skin of his cock is soft and velvety.

Kakashi moans in your mouth when you make contact with him, but quickly escapes your grasp and gets up off of you. Sprawled out on the bed, you watch him strip down naked in front of you, starting with his shirt, then his pants and briefs. His body is truly something to marvel at, as decades of being a ninja have carved his body into perfection. You love the way his member slaps against his lower stomach when he pulls it from its confinement, excited and eager for you. He stands for a moment, contemplating what to do with you.

“I don’t want to take that pretty outfit off of you just yet. I guess I’ll just have to work around it for now,” Kakashi says as he stands at the end of the bed. Grabbing your ankles, he pulls you towards him and bends your legs upward until your knees meet your chest. Holding both of your legs up with one hand, he takes the other and spanks your ass cheek with a loud slap. You whimper from the sting while he rubs the mark he left. Kakashi sucks in another loud breath.

“Ugh, (y/n), you look so good for me.”

Before you can respond, Kakashi takes your thong and slides it over so you are exposed to him. Getting down on his knees, he brings his face to your glistening cunt and flattens his tongue against it. There he gives you one long lick up your slit to taste you. A moan erupts from him as your wetness meets his taste buds.

“You’re already so wet for me baby,” Kakashi breathes before going in to suck on you.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” you confess through your moans. “I only get this wet for you.”

“That’s because you're mine and mine only.”

Kakashi takes his time with you, almost as if this is his last meal on earth and he wants to savor it. He’s delicate in some moments and fierce in others. Incorporating his fingers, he slides them into you and curves them up to hit your g-spot repeatedly while eating you. Your hand instinctively cradles his face while the other intertwines with his silver locks. You start to feel tightness in your lower stomach as he brings you close to climax. The sound of his moans muffled inside you is enough to send you over the edge.

“Kakashi, baby, I’m gonna-”

“Come for me, baby,” Kakashi nods, giving you permission to let go.

Letting go of Kakashi, you grip onto the sheets around you, feeling the tightness build and drop out of you. Closing your eyes, the waves of ecstasy ripple throughout your body causing you to scream out in pleasure. Riding with you, Kakashi slowly continues to work you through your climax, cleaning up whatever juices spill over.

“Good girl,” He says to you while bringing your legs back down onto the bed. Slowly, he kisses up your thighs while hooking onto your thong, bringing it down off of them. While he does this, you reach around and unclasp your bra, throwing it aside. Once the thong is thrown aside as well, Kakashi lifts himself off the floor and flips you over so you're laying on your stomach, another smack landing on your ass cheek. The high from your orgasm is immediately replaced with anticipation for what he plans on doing to you next.

You feel Kakashi’s naked body slide on top of you until he's flush against your skin, his body completely enveloping yours. Once his face is level with yours, and his cock is hard against your backside, he brushes your hair away from your face.

“Are you ready for me?” Kakashi whispers into your ear.

You nod into the mattress, chest rising and falling with every strained breath.

“You need to use your words, (y/n),” Kakashi scolds you while tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I need you, Kakashi. Please, I need you.” Your words come out as a plea, not being able to take his absence any longer.

You feel Kakashi’s weight lift off of you as he reaches around your waist and lifts it up so your ass is tilted upwards. From there you can feel him position his tip at your entrance, slowly rubbing it up and down to spread your wetness.

“Please, Kashi, I need your cock inside me,” you beg.

Without further hesitation, you feel every inch of him slide into your folds until he’s bottomed out inside you. The feeling of him deep within you sends you into euphoria and you can feel yourself tighten around him.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Kakashi whispers.

Starting off slow, he pumps into you with control. You feel pleasure and pain as Kakashi kisses your neck while grabbing onto your hair. After each thrust you feel him going faster and harder, your bodies smacking against each other. To gain more leverage, he lifts off of you and brings you up onto your hands and knees. With his hand gripping your shoulder, he pumps into you with ferocity.

“For years I’ve touched myself thinking about getting to fuck you like this baby. You’re so beautiful and so good to me. Everything about your body draws me to you,” Kakashi says in between moans. You feel him start to twitch inside you, his thrusts getting more out of control. You look over your shoulder and meet his gaze.

“We deserve this baby. You deserve this. Give me everything.” You both know your words mean more than just sex, and Kakashi relishes them.

Lifting you up by your neck, Kakashi brings you toward him so you're both kneeling while he continues thrusting inside of you. He brings one hand around your front to circle your clit and the other cups your breast. Your hands lift up behind you to grab onto his face. Turning your head to him, you kiss him with every ounce of passion you have left. This new position is hitting you at your core and you can feel yourself tighten again. Kakashi must have felt it too, as he broke free from your mouth to tilt his head back in pleasure. Without exchanging words, you know you both are at your limit.

With a few last staggering thrusts, both of you reach climax in unison. Feeling yourself go limp, Kakashi wraps his arms around you to keep you steady. You feel streams of his hot semen pool inside of your contracting walls. With Kakashi’s moans singing in your ear, you can’t help but smirk at his vulnerability. With him still inside, you hold onto each other, trying to catch your breaths. After a few beats, you both begin to laugh at your exasperated states.

“Stay here, I’m going to get a towel,” Kakashi says while shifting out of you. After pulling a towel from the cupboard in your bathroom, Kakashi brings it to you and cleans up between your legs. Before you have time to move, Kakashi picks you up bridal style and spins you around in his arms.

You scream and start to laugh as he plants kisses all over your face. “Kakashi!”

“Hm?” he hums in your ear, pretending he didn’t just lift you with little to no effort.

Holding you up with one arm, he grabs a blanket off the bed and carries you to the chair in the corner of your room. There he sits down and places you sideways on his lap so you’re facing each other. He then takes the blanket and wraps it around you both so you can stay warm while cuddling each other. Kakashi has always had a knack for knowing exactly what you want at any given moment.

“I thought we could get some inspiration for our next round,” Kakashi says with a smirk as he pulls out a copy of Icha Icha Tactics from underneath the cushion.

“What? How did that get there?” you laugh.

“Oh, I have multiple copies of these everywhere,” he jokes, waving the book in the air.

You laugh and lightly hit his chest. Tucking the blanket up closer to your face, you lay your head down on Kakashi’s shoulder while he flips open to a page in the book.

Before he starts to read to you, Kakashi lifts your chin to kiss you. Every time your lips touch his, flashes of your joint past enters your mind. Although it was hard, and you faced many difficult trials on the way, you are forever thankful that you were both able to live long enough to experience these moments. You took care of each other, lifted each other up when they were in the dirt, and now you can finally share the love you’ve always held for each other. You wouldn’t change any of it. After your kiss, before pulling away from you, Kakashi looks deep into your eyes.

“I love you, (y/n).”

You smile up at him, tears brimming in your eyes.

“I love you too, Kakashi. Forever.”

A/n cont.: Well, whattdaya think? :)

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