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simcardiac-arrested · 1 year

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Iterator Looks to the Moon would be lying if she tried to say she wasn't happy when the little slugcat, whom she had started referring to as Sugar, stuck around instead of making the journey deep to the void sea. Considering her state, and the state of the world at large, there was nothing really to do, or anyone to talk to. She spent her days staring up at the few neurons she had, gazing into the swirling waters around her, and losing more and more time with every passing cycle. It was quiet. It was lonely.

So, so very lonely.

Maybe that's why the little creature kept coming back, kept staying with her. Maybe it was lonely too. Maybe it saw it's own loneliness in her eyes, and decided to keep her company as the cycles passed and her body only further deteriorated. The rain cycles had not been kind as of recently and her umbilical had begun to come loose, spilling wires that hung limply across her back. She wasn't sure exactly what would happen upon those wires being severed, but despite everything she wasn't exactly eager to find out.

But none of that. For now she was.....well. Not fine, she hadn't been fine in many cycles, but she was surviving. Not in the least due to the....almost exorbitant amount of neurons that Sugar had stolen for her from Five Pebbles. Despite all odds, she was still here. Chuckling softly, she couldn't help but muse that their creators *had* built them to last.

Sugar swiveled it's head around at the iterator, tilting it's head and giving her an inquisitive look as it paused it's gnawing on a small batfly. She waved it off simply. "Don't mind me, little one. Lost in thought is all." She assured her friend. Sugar blinked and raised a brow, going back to it's albeit meager meal but keeping a seemingly disbelieving eye on her.

"It's nothing, really. Just...." She sighed. It wasn't like she could do much more than talk, now. And she did appreciate having an ear to listen. "I was thinking about...why you stayed, I suppose. Why I stay. I'm glad you did, of course, I just can't help but wonder why when you could have gone to the sea and escaped this cycle. And then decided to stay with me. And then myself, stuck here until my can degrades so far that I can no longer retain consciousness." She chuckled humorlessly. "It's not like I can destroy myself, after all."

Immediately, Sugar bristled and let out a displeased hiss. It shoved the rest of the batfly in it's mouth before scrambling up to dart over, making her yelp as she was nearly bowled over by it leaping up into her lap and smacking it's hands into her shoulders. If she wasn't made of metal, she was almost sure the little slugcat would have bitten her. And even then it looked like her friend was considering it. She had to scramble her hands to keep herself upright, jostling her hanging umbilical uncomfortably.

"Sugar!" She reprimanded. "What was that for?"

Sugar shook her and hissed again, looking frustrated. Once again, the barrier of language was proving to be a problem. Sugar could understand her just fine, but it could only make the sounds an animal could. She grabbed the creature and lifted it away, as best she could anyway, and glared. "I'm not a rattle, Sugar, so please do not shake me. My condition is poor as is." She said firmly. In response, Sugar's eyes rolled so far up, that it flopped backwards into her lap with a huff. She sighed, and smoothed a hand over it's soft stomach in silence for a moment.

The little creature could almost pass for a plush, she mused. If it weren't for the short, stiff fur that always seemed a little wet, and not just because of the short swim it took to get to her little island, and the sticky paw pads. It was soft, squishy, and smooth. Not to mention quite warm. In a different world, maybe they could have been bred as pets. This one, at least, was a very good companion in her humble opinion. She appreciated it's company, and it seemed to appreciate hers just as much.

She paused.

"Did you not like me joking about destroying myself?" She asked slowly. Sugar's ears perked up instantly, and it nodded furiously. Pushing itself up, it pressed itself to her front and stared up at her with sorrowful eyes and a low purr rumbling in it's throat. If she had a heart, it probably would have hurt a bit at that. In apology, she scratched between the little creature's ears. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you at all, little one."

She sighed, leaning back. "Sometimes I think about....what if I had been one of my creators, instead of the creation." She began. "Would I have hated the cycle as much as they did? Would I have a family? Would I have gone with them into ascension, or would I have stayed?" She wondered. "Thanks to your gifts, I have remembered some of the details I hadn't before. I think...I used to watch the clouds through my overseers. The sun, the moon. Sometimes I can't help but envy them, being able to live out there. Whereas I am here, instead. I used to feel many things through my can, but I imagine it's not quite the same."

She looked down at Sugar, rubbing a thumb across it's little head. "Do you like the sun, little creature?" She asked. It paused, but nodded happily all the same. She chuckled. "Certainly better than the rain, at least." She hummed, her friend nodding sagely in agreement with her.

Almost as one, the two suddenly froze, ears and antenna drawing back.

The rain.

They had forgotten about the rain.

All too little and all too late they had noticed. Only now could Moon hear the sound of rushing water somewhere beyond the confines of her chambers. The deep, terrible rumble of the water hitting her can and draining inside of it. She and Sugar locked eyes, and she could see it's pupils shrunken into slits, the way it's breathing had sped up already as if to make up for air it would soon be loosing.

Panicked calculations began shooting through her head. There was a shelter close to her chamber. So, so tantalizingly close. In just the next room over. The rain couldn't have begun too long ago or they would have noticed. After a point it became impossible not to. The waters around her chamber were becoming tumultuous, already starting to rise up, but it was not too late. She had to believe it wasn't too late. Immortal cycle or not, she desperately did not want to watch her friend die. Again, she locked eyes with Sugar.

"Go." She ordered.

Even without the mark of communication, the slugcat would have needed no instruction. In an instant, it was diving into the waters, becoming naught but a dark blur as it swam quickly out of her chambers. She hoped it would make it.

For her, this was a normal part of the cycle. The waters coming in and filling her collapsed can, flooding her chambers and loosing her in the cold and dark until eventually it would mostly drain and leave her soaked, battered, but alive and.....as ready as she could be for another round of survival in this harsh world. The anxiety never really went away, though.

She didn't like being drowned. Of course she didn't. But that was simply how it was. A series of bad things compounding until eventually it became normal. Though sometimes now she would look at the water around her chamber and have a shudder of dread run through her. She didn't like to think about it. Luckily or unluckily now, her worried mind was focused on her friend.

With a sudden splash, said friend's head suddenly popped out of the water once more, scrambling onto what little dry shore there was now. If Moon had a stomach, it would have dropped into her feet by now.

"Sugar!" She cried. "You cannot stay here! You're going to drown!" She flung her hands up as she stated the obvious. But Sugar shook it's head desperately, furiously pantomiming, or at least trying to. It was now she was remembering the vents and pipes that ran through her can. Now set at a precarious angle and filled with rushing water, one getting into the pipes had a high chance of getting pushed right back out of them just as quickly. Even her brave little friend wouldn't be able to handle getting essentially pressure washed out of the pipes.

The water was lapping violently at their feet now, Sugar was clinging to her legs, and none of it was helping. If only her mind was at full capacity. If only her umbilical worked then maybe she could get Sugar up to the topmost entrance to her chamber but- no, that was leaking water too. They were trapped and she couldn't do anything about it, and even after everything that had happened to her, through her brother diving into self destruction and using up the water and her can collapsing, she had never felt so completely and utterly helpless. Things died all the time, coming back just as quickly, but this was a friend and a friend who was in clear distress as the waters rose further.

A thrashing wave hit the two, and Sugar made an odd noise between a growl and a yowl, jumping in both surprise and panic, driving it to scramble up upon her shoulders and nearly sending her tumbling down into the waters below with a yelp. "Sugar- Don't-" She choked off as the panicked flailing caused a back leg to scrape at exposed wires with fully extended claws, a sensation of being shocked running through her puppet body as she seized and finally did tumble over, falling in a whirl of limbs. Her scream was cut off in the water.

It was dark it was cold and she didn't have the strength to get up. Claws dug into her shoulders and the already tattered dress her little friend had given her a few cycles ago, clinging desperately and kicking it's back legs into the water. But considering she was made of metal and connected to an even heavier metal umbilical, lifting her from the water was an impossible task. The water was swirling and battering at them now, but she noted that her friend did not let go even as the water rose. It was touching and terrifying all at once. Even in this situation her little friend was trying to save her. It had already done so much, she wished it would swim up and away, even if it was futile.

Moon didn't need to breathe, but she could feel it when the water reached her neurons. A sudden burst of disorientation, all senses washed away with the flood. It felt like shutting down again, in some ways. No up no down she couldn't think or remember she could hardly even feel the weakening paws still clinging to her shoulders despite the fact that they had been down there for days. Minutes? Seconds? She doesn't know.

She does, however, feel when a rush of water flings them sideways and against the wall.

Something jagged catches on the wires exposed from her back.

Snap.

The last sound that comes from Looks to the Moon is a harrowing electronic wail.

TLAI CHAPTER 1

Do you love the color of the tlai chapter 1

#cramswering

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fortitudina · 4 months

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Yeah yeah, I know that at this point, I am a day late with that, but personal stuff and what not, busy busy. I hope that everyone has had a lovely Christmas period with plenty of love and laughter and yummy food and lots to drink! As a way of celebrating the New Year and start of 2024, I'd like to take a moment to give a small shoutout to those who made my 2023 a fun year and who stuck by despite my coming and going from tumblr, among other things.

THOSE WHO HAVE TRULY LEFT THEIR MARK!

@fangsforhire / @salvationofsouls / @businessstrix / @deathlessdamned / @esotericsoldier / @littlenosferatu / @diviniadiaboli / @rabidrussian: Stitch! Can you believe it's now been 4 years since we first began to talk over on my lucifer blog?! Since that time, we've faced keeping each other sane during a pandemic and several lockdowns, various trials and tribulations an a whole heap of shit but we are still here and still annoying the fuck out of each other and everyone around us. You are my best friend and my soul sister and I love you incredibly much. You're also a fantastic writer and often criticise yourself far too much! Without you and your vast amount of shitheads, I probably would not have gotten through the past few years! Here's to many more years, and more excessively built worlds together! You are loved, valued and appreciated!

@goldengirlchrissy / @thatfirehairedshifter: Alana! My old friend; old buddy; old pal! This year marks 10 years of a crazy friendship and I wouldn't change the past 10 years for anything! You often make me laugh with your antics and supply me with endless photos of Sanrio items at your work, which I always have a mighty need for! Whilst we don't write as much or as often as we used to, I still love every moment that we do write together. Keep being weird and being you! I love you!

@rubiesintherough: Ruby! You bring a light to writing and I am so glad to have been able to know that light for several years now. I love everything that we write together, across all of my blogs. You're a sweet and kind-hearted being with a lot of love to give, even when your own days are feeling grey and painful. You and your muses are very dearly loved!

@inmentemusae: Rach! It's been three years, but it feels like a small lifetime. You are a dear friend and a lovely bean. I love the laughs that we have gotten to share, even if I get stressed out at you over some of the games we play together at times. I am so grateful to have you as a friend.

OTHER MUTUALS WHOM I LOVE VERY DEARLY AND ENJOY WRITING WITH.

#* OOC #* NEW YEAR'S SHOUTOUT!

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sternbilder · 1 year

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ok so today I had one of the most fascinating and enlightening discussions maybe of my life and I need to share bc it blew my MIND (warning: long)

here's the context. there is a friend I have. they are a pretty good friend of mine that I've known for many years now and I appreciate them as a person very much. lately I have noticed that they've been texting me fairly frequently. which, from my point of view, is once every couple of days. not because they had something specific to say, but just saying hello or asking how my day was.

I'm sure this was well-intentioned, but this was starting to get a tiny bit grating for me. we just met up in person literally two days ago! and you had texted me not long before that, too! nothing new has happened since then! my day has been quite boring, actually! I thought, in my mind, as I swiped away the notification—and immediately felt like an awful friend.

I knew from past experience that responding to the message would invite an immediate and not easily escapable conversation that, due to my poor multitasking skills, would distract me from work or require me to context switch away from whatever else it was I was doing at the moment—cooking, doing chores, watching TV—and worse, amount to little more than idle chit-chat about the same boring quotidian complaints as usual. I am not one of those people who thinks they're above small talk or don't see its social value, but I found myself thinking, am I the one who is being not normal here in not enjoying having this specific kind of interaction MULTIPLE times a week with the SAME person?

so recently, I've been finding myself routinely avoiding opening this particular friend's messages for fear of hurting their feelings if they saw that I had left them on read for a prolonged period of time. I had even gone so far as to avoid posting in a group chat in which we're both participants so that they don't realize that I have, in fact, been online, just not responding to them, specifically. my hope was that after enough slow responses, this friend would eventually get the hint and give up on trying to maintain a steady steam of conversation, but somehow this has not worked so far.

this was starting to weigh on my conscience. I realized that I will have to eventually fight my conflict-avoidant tendencies and just confront this friend directly, for the sake of both my sanity and our friendship. but how to do this gently? tactfully? without implying that I don't value their friendship or that I perceive them as needy or annoying? that was the tricky question. because I know that my friend isn't doing anything wrong! if anything it is probably me that is weird and antisocial and I probably just need to work on my social skills!

but not wanting to feel like a total asshole and hoping to go in with an informed and reasonable mindset (knowing full well that my understanding of social norms isn't always the keenest), I asked a different group chat for their opinion, hoping to gain some perspective on what boundaries they generally considered normal and acceptable to exercise. I phrased my question thusly:

how many friends* would you say you have where you text on a regular basis (say, multiple times a week) 1:1 just to say hi, about nothing in particular *explicitly a friend, not a family member or SO

y'all. the responses were eye-opening.

there were four people who participated in this discussion, all four of whom were in different camps and had wildly different experiences:

0, and assumed most others were the same

0, but assumed most others were not the same

multiple, and assumed most others were the same

multiple, but assumed most others were not the same

1 was me; in retrospect, I am realizing that because I had assumed that these kinds of interactions were not typical, I had interpreted my friend's gesture as something much more significant than it probably was in their mind, which is to say something that they just happen to do with everyone they know and like—which created a sort of pressure in my mind not to let them down and caused a sense of intense anxiety when I found myself struggling to reciprocate. I am absolutely floored at the revelation that it is apparently normal and common for people to have MULTIPLE friends (not even partners!!! or family!!!) that they are talking to on a constant ongoing basis at any given time, and at the possibility that I was treating my friend's feelings with kid gloves when it REALLY wasn't that hashtag deep for them.

2 clarified that they never initiate these kinds of chats, but when others initiate with them, they're fairly comfortable with simply letting these kinds of pings go unanswered, assuming the other person will just move on to someone else without taking it personally.

3 confessed to me that they once tried to do something similar with me, and eventually gave up, but had felt a bit hurt and rejected at my lack of enthusiasm, because they assumed that I was doing this with other people, just not them specifically. they sympathized very strongly with my friend.

4 also recalled that they had at one point tried something similar with me, but sort of got that I wasn't one of those people who would be receptive to this style of communication and wasn't particularly bothered by this, agreeing with 2 that the expectation is not that the recipient HAS to respond, and that my friend should probably pay closer attention to the face-saving social cues I was sending by not responding or responding slowly.

but yeah, the takeaway from this conversation is that people's preferences and experiences and expectations when it comes to digital communication are WILDLY varied, and because both communication technology and the social conventions surrounding them are changing CONSTANTLY (just a few examples: are read receipts good or bad? what about typing indicators? online status? are emoji reacts or gifs/stickers an acceptable substitute for an actual reply? group chats vs. 1:1 DMs? synchronicity and formality of various communication methods like email and chat and video? are phone calls are still socially acceptable?) there are either no agreed-on norms or different camps of people have vastly different understandings of what the norms are

among the other highlights/a-ha moments of this discussion:

Friend 4 asked another friend who is even MORE extraverted than they are what their # was and they reported somewhere in the ballpark of 20-40 people in any given week which is absolutely buckwild to me (importantly, all four of us in the original group happen to be software engineers, a class of people notorious for their lack of sociability, so I have no confidence that I have captured a representative sample size even within this particular group—the numbers both 3 and 4 gave were still both in the single digits, though they are definitely the warmest and friendliest of the bunch)

I realized that one difference between me and 3/4 was that we fulfill our social needs quite differently? specifically, I mostly connect with friends over group chats, of which I have a handful that are quite chatty and at least one or two that I'm actively posting in on any given day. I also typically have at least one, often multiple, real-life social plans every week! I am, in fact, very satisfied with my social life, to the point where it is almost maxing out my social quota (especially recently now that I've started dating someone)! but anyway—I find group chats to be my ideal form of day-to-day communication because there's less urgency and pressure for any individual person to contribute if they're not feeling up for it, and ALSO in the case of group chats where at least one member is a straight man (which is the majority of them for me, and I call out straight men only because they are the only demographic I have historically had this issue with) there is less room for platonic interactions to be undesirably misinterpreted as romantic

3/4 expressed that they prefer 1:1 conversations because they feel more personal and they can be more vulnerable about sensitive topics, which I would generally agree with—though in several of my group chats, I personally do feel comfortable enough with all the members to share things about myself with the entire group just by virtue of having known everyone for a long time and having built group camaraderie, but they seemed to not be comfortable with this without having previously established a consistent 1:1 pattern of day-to-day communication (or maybe they meant they were uncomfortable with the group forum itself, even if they were cool with sharing with everyone individually)?

they also expressed that for them, frequent unsolicited checkins and 1:1 attention from a friend would feel exciting/flattering/validating for them, whereas for me it would feel overwhelming, especially if we weren't THAT close

I do use 1:1 DMs also, but for a very different set of use cases: 1) if I haven't caught up with someone in a while (read: weeks or months), in which case we'll often just not text super long and make plans to call or meet in person instead, or 2) if I have something specific to say, like "here's this meme/song/piece of news I think you'd like to see" or "I need advice on X" or "guess what happened that made me think of you" or "I heard X happened, are you OK?"

I found that whereas I have a very clear distinction between communication preferences with a friend (someone I talk to on a regular basis but don't have a constant line of individual communication with) vs. a significant other (more or less willing to do this, unless they preferred not to), such a boundary between a platonic and romantic relationship does NOT exist for all people which boggled my mind

but yes anyway. I am learning so much about the way people view socializing in the digital age and I am so curious to know more and I kind of wish more people talked about this more openly (specifically among friends! because in my experience this is something that is fairly common to sort out explicitly in a romantic context) because I think this is probably the kind of thing that no one talks about because people are either afraid of potentially hurting feelings or everyone is just kind of assuming by default that their takes are universal without realizing that no actually, many people have strong opinions on this that are the polar opposite of theirs

but my gut feeling is that there is a lot of completely unnecessary friction that could just be resolved if only we could agree that it's cool to be more upfront about what our communication preferences are without worrying about that being taken extremely personally by the other party? bc idk, every single person I talked to about this today was like holy shit this was a whole fucking revelation actually, I can't believe I hadn't thought about this before thank you for bringing this up

#cam thoughts #I still have to talk to original friend #but am thinking maybe doing this next time I see them in person bc I find it so much easier to convey tone not when typing #bc there is an external factor that I suspect may have to do with why they're suddenly reaching out so frequently and I want to be sensitiv #but now I want to know the answer to this question for literally everyone I know. Im SO curious what is actually objectively normal/typical #but my gut tells me that this is like #inherently a delicate question to ask bc it can really make it uncomfortably clear if 2 ppl are not on the same page re:their friendship #also I realized that most of this group are specifically SWEs who have worked ON a chat application in the past.#so of COURSE we all have super strong opinions about literally all of this which is hilarious #also I didn't want to say it but have I definitely been thinking *meme voice* is this attachment theory? this whole time? lowkey mayhaps.#also also if you're reading this and I ever left you on read please do know that I do feel bad about it and I am sorry #final postscript I do not mean to suggest that I never want to be reached out to or checked in on. just. my capacity for social threads #is extremely low so please don't take it personally if I cannot prioritize your message right away or scale back chatting to a slower pace #tl;dr everyone is normal and fine and just different and the sooner we realize this the healthier our digital social lives will become.

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fatexbound · 2 years

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@tres-fidelis said: It took a little more effort than expected for KC to figure out Yu's birthday. Most of the team didn't even know, except for Yosuke whom happily provided the information. The day soon approached, and the first year took her time the night prior to prepare something special for her senpai. He taught her well, looked after her in school and inside the strange TV world, so this gift required lots of her time and patience. A little of her own skill, too.

KC patiently waited for his arrival beside the riverbank. She dressed in bright colors of yellow and oranges matching the late summer skies. Deep, blue eyes noticed Yu's steady walk towards the small gazebo. His arrival was greeted with a very excited wave, her white ponytail bobbing with her movements. Confused as Yu may be, this was a special moment she wished to share together. Just with him.

A small bag sat on the table. The colors matched KC's sundress decorated with white and gold polka dots. Inside the paper covering he'd find various tea treats and American snacks, some gluten free and many others coated with some kind of chocolate. Afterwards, she slid him a small card with his name written in beautiful cursive. The note inside matched up as well.

I hope you enjoy your gifts. These are some treats from my home I tend to enjoy or ones that are very popular among teenagers. They're very tasty, so don't eat them all at once. My other gift is rather personal, and something I wish to only share with you. You've done so much for me already, this is the least I believe I can do in return to show you my appreciation. Happy Birthday, Senpai.

With Yu's attention directed towards his surprise presents, it provided KC enough time to piece together his last gift. In her hands was a gleaming, sliver flute, and after a quick tuning note the first-year musician began playing a waltz from memory. No music sheets, no music stand, nothing needed. KC practiced several nights to make this perfect, just for Yu. Her body swayed to and fro, each enunciation of certain notes allowing KC to feel the music lingering in the air, and let the airy tones of her flute swirl around the two. It was like pure magic spilled forth, surrounding and encompassing their little space, hugging them with a strange comfort.

A brief exhale finished KC's performance. Eager yet nervous eyes looked towards her senpai. She wanted to see his reaction, or see the feelings she may have evoked. Music always had a way to stir emotions inside someone.

Yu's birthday | Still accepting

His birthday had been so special now, thanks to his friends. Every year he spent with them was better than the last and he couldn't be more grateful for them. Always staying by his side through thick and thin. Just like he always will until he moves out someday to pursue a career and a good future.

The one who stole the show today was a certain white-haired girl who invited him over to the Samegawa flood plains for a surprise. He headed there as soon as he was done with a few requests and waved back at her, smiling as soon as he saw her and sat down at the gazebo. True enough, he was a little confused but also curious as to why she called him here.

He noticed that the beautiful box in front of him matched her equally beautiful outfit, and blushed a bit at the thought.

Did he think that highly of her? Yes, but that was for another time.

Slowly, he opened the bag and his eyes widened at the amount of snacks inside. He then read the note in his head, and nodded once to her in understanding. They looked quite good in all honesty and he had always wanted to try something new for a change.

As happy as he was, the sound of her flute playing grabbed his attention in a heartbeat and he looked up at her in awe. He sat there and listened quietly with his eyes fixated on her, completely dumbfounded and most importantly, deeply touched by such a thoughtful girl like her.

His fingers idly tapped on his lap with the beat until the song had ended. It was like he was taken into a completely different world with just the two of them together. Perhaps dancing to that tune as well.

Was it too much?

Words failed him for once, and he could only clap quietly for her, and stand up to gently take her hand in his.

"Well done. That was... incredible. Beautiful. I can't find the words to describe it. I didn't expect you to go to such lengths for me, and yet... you did." The emotions he was going through in his heart were going wild, but he tried to contain himself.

"This... might be the best birthday I've ever had. No one has ever dedicated a song to me. Something so personal coming from your heart... I'm touched. Thank you so much, KC-san." He rested his forehead against hers for a brief moment as a sign of affection and pulled back, giving her the biggest and most genuine smile he could muster.

"We can share these snacks together now if you want.~"

#tresfidelis #Yu answers;#Nevermore; I Know I'm Not Alone | Post!P4 Yu #Yu's birthday 2022 #Take Your Time | Queue #long post #i'm not crying you're crying #I'm still melting aaaaaa #I love them your honor!!!

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thebeardynerd · 2 years

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When to stop loving someone

In our love lives, we are often given “guidelines” of when to start loving someone, and when to trust someone but no one actually tells us when is the right time when we should leave all the strings and walk away.

We are told to always hold tight to the relationships we build, but at times one of the partners is suffering so badly that they are happier away from each other.

It can definitely differ from person to person and relation to relation, how much history you have with the person, how much effort they put into it, how much effort you put into it, eventually everything matters. But some factors are clear-cut red flags after which you should be very cautious and take a step back from the person.

When to stop loving someone

Certain specific red flags common to all are as follows-

Disrespected in Relation

Have your partner said something to you while he/she was kidding but that actually hurt you and you still didn’t point it out as you weren’t sure about what to do? Firstly let’s face it that you and your partner were born and bought off differently, so your meaning of the word “respect” will also be different.

People have different tolerance levels when it comes to respecting relations. You might feel fine hearing a cuss word from your friend but not your partner. It is normal to have certain benchmarks for your partner, as they are the ones whom you are eventually going to call “mine”.

If your partner understands respect differently from you, it is important to tell them what you want, how you expect them to behave, and point out the slightest things that make you uncomfortable.

Once you point it out your partner will also try to make you feel comfortable and respected, and if at all the same behaviour is repeated even after pointing it out, then there is the time you see it as a red flag.

Respect should not be something that one needs to ask for, specifically when you love someone, you automatically prioritize them and make them sit on cloud nine. Keep your eyes and ears open, and walk off from the place where your thoughts, opinions and perspectives are not respected.

Aren’t appreciated enough

Whenever you love someone, you really like even the smallest thing they do. If we didn’t hype up our better halves, who else would?

Appreciate the flower he/she gave you, appreciate the fact that he/she held your hand on that one tough day, appreciate the fact that he/she understands when you say “no”, appreciate the way he/she smiles, just appreciate every small bit of it. That is what makes a relationship beautiful.

On the other hand, if you feel like you are not being appreciated enough, consider it a red flag. Appreciation is good for mental health, and a one-sidedly appreciated ship never sails. Even if it does, one of you won’t be happy.

Not being treated the way you treat them

If it is just you who is putting in the effort to make the relationship work, maybe step back and take a pause. Efforts don’t just include expensive gifts or luxurious dinners or huge surprises. Efforts include every tiny thing they do for you beyond their comfort zone, just to make you feel good, comfortable and happy.

It is important to notice the amount of effort each one of you puts into making the relationship a success. See how important your relationship is to your partner and to what extent can they go for it, is it similar to what you would do or not?

Subtle demeaning behaviour

In so many couples, it is observed that to make their slate clean and sound funny in front of others, one of the partners ends up making subtle demeaning comments to the other one unintentionally which are hardly ever noticed.

Your partner should have the trait to point out your flaws personally and stand by your side in the crowd even when you are performing a mistake or doing something wrong. If that is not the case and subtle comments like “you will do this?

Nevermind.”, “I don’t think it is his/her cup of tea”, etc such little statements said by you for your partner can leave a huge impact on them as maybe they are not affected when others say such stuff, but they do question themselves when it comes from you.

No positive curiosity about the partner

Irrespective of the time period of your relationship, your partner should always have a positive curiosity to know more about you. After a year or two people often say that “i know her/him all” which is not a sign of a healthy relationship which we tend to misunderstand.

You should always have a curiosity to understand why they did what they did, what they like over what, and even the most basic questions like, what is their favourite dish, or colour. When you develop this curiosity for your partner, they also feel like he/she is interested in me and they feel special. Being obsessed with your partner is the best kind of love story. See if your partner notices you from head to toe even after years of being together, if yes, consider yourself lucky.

Conclusion

The above-mentioned are very deeply observed points, other commonly seen red flags can include regular angry disputes or shortened understanding. Irrespective of everything mentioned here, let’s acknowledge the fact that each one has a different level of tolerance and a different kind of bond in their relationship. Just know that if there is anything that is messing around with your mental health consider it a major point of discussion and communicate with your partner.

Try and sort things, give your best and if still, things don’t get back on track it is time for you to pack up your things and walk away. Most importantly, if you don’t value yourself or your efforts, it will eventually devalue you in front of your partner. So above all, just Be yourself and Love yourself.

Source links — When to stop loving someone

#stop loving someone

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tokrev-roses · 3 years

Text

Cool Cool Boy

although you are happy with your love, your ex-boyfriend wants to be a part of your life again. jealous boyfriends and phones involved + NSFW (original request)

🖋Genre: Smut (Mikey, Draken Chifuyu), Fluff (Baji)

⚠️Warnings: 18+ for everyone but Baji, description of the female body and sexual acts, bad writing/grammar/spelling

👥Characters: Mikey, Draken, Chifuyu, Baji

❧ Keisuke Baji

Fancy dates are not his thing

It was not only that he had a budget, being a middle schooler and everything, he also simply didn’t vibe with it

But it was your anniversary, so he saved up all his pocket money and tried to behave so mama Baji would let him out

Cue to him waiting in front of a popular restaurant for young couples, wearing his edgy street clothes

And to both of your surprise, everything went smoothly

He excused himself to the restroom for a sec, and while you were waiting at your table, daydreaming about the beauty of this evening, someone sat down on Keisuke’s chair

You turned towards the person, fully expecting to see your boyfriend, but were met with a less than pleasant view. Your ex-boyfriend greeted you with a satisfied smirk.

“Enjoying yourself, y/n? You know, I always thought you were one of those girls who loved fancy stuff, considering how much you loved our dates and my presents. That you’d settle for someone who is unable to offer you more than this…” He made a derogatory gesture towards the other tables.

This was no high-end restaurant with view over the Tokyo skyline, but it was Baji who put a lot of effort into this, and it meant more to you than anything else

As you were about to respond, a shadow towered over your ex

“What do you think you are doing her punk?”

“This is the trash you left me for, y/n?”

As he was about to laugh, Baji seized him by the collar, lifted him up, and threw him away like actual trash

Knowing Keisuke, you tried to stop the enraged berserker he was about to turn into. No need for a brawl in the middle of a restaurant

You managed to calm him, nonetheless the manager kindly asked all three of you to leave

Keisuke kept quiet on your way home. You knew why. He actually wanted everything to be perfect, to show you how much you meant to him and it was ruined by his temper and a slimy asshole

„♪Kei-Su-Ke♪“, you poked the dimples of your grumpy boyfriend. “I loved this evening. Minus that idiot, but that was none of your fault.”

“Hm.”

He kept walking.

Ok, you’d have to bring the big guns in

With two big steps you were behind him to give him the strongest back hug possible

“Ya, you punk. Wanna pick a fight?”, your effort to imitate his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

“As if a small fry like you could win against me.”

With that you knew the ice was broken. What you didn’t expect was him turning around fast as lightening, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder.

You tried to scream but it ended in heartful laughter

A perfect anniversary indeed.

❧ Manjiro Sano

(Future!Mikey, Dark-Haired)

King of jealousy and most possessive out of all the boys, so you can imagine his reaction as you told him your ex-boyfriend visited you at work

The mood instantly shifted

“Come on, Manjiro. He didn’t ask me to marry him or anything.”

This joke was not appreciated by him, and he stayed broody for the rest of the evening

You should have known that he was up to something as he suddenly became very touchy with you, but you pinned it on his neediness

Things got even stranger when he didn’t let you touch or pleasure him, but instead kept making you feel like wax between his fingers

It wasn’t just the way he abused your neck with longing kisses or how he caressed the sides of your body with featherlight touches as he made his way downwards. Not the way he fondled your breasts with the utmost care, kissing and sucking your nipples until you couldn’t keep your whimpers from spilling.

The satisfied smile he gave you as you made the first sound should have shown you that there was more to it, but you were so lost in pleasure, that you really didn’t care

Things got worse (or better) for you as he reached your most intimate spot

If he was skilled at pleasuring you before, he was a god at doing so today.

White pleasure blinded you as his velvet tongue explored every part of you. Every moan and whimper you gave him was met with a pleased hum that vibrated through your body.

When you couldn’t stop your own need from feeling every part of him on you, you used your hands in his dark hair to push him closer to you.

Instead of understanding your silent plea like he usually would, he just kept going and going until your vision got blurred by tears and your voice was hoarse.

Only then he let you go, mumbling something you were too tired to understand.

You slept well that night, with Mikey hugging you loke a koala

It was only when you looked at your phone the next morning, that you realized what he had done.

A chat with your ex-boyfriend, who must have written you last evening about going out for dinner, cough your eye. Your answer, which you definitely didn’t send, consisted of a 30 second audio.

Innocent you played it, of course, and it took you a second to realize what exactly you were hearing.

That was you. You, moaning in ecstasy. You were frozen in place an listened all the way through it

The audio ended with a raspy voice you knew all too well

“She is busy with me.”

❧ Ken Ryuguji

Your phone was broken.

It did not show you, who tried to call you and called people you never meant to call. That’s why instead of putting it in your pockets, it usually laid somewhere beside you. Like today as you were cooking dinner for your finance who was about to come home from his bike shop very soon

The last days had been a bit stressful, he had a lot to do, couldn’t spend any time with you and you went to meet your ex-boyfriend for coffee, as he himself was about to get married soon

Ken tried to be understanding, but the amount of your time this past fling consumed annoyed him

That’s why he wanted to make up for lost time this evening

He didn’t hesitate when he saw you standing in the kitchen, stirring something in a pan and looking so perfect

On swift move and the giant had placed you on the counter, standing between your spread legs, face buried in your neck

“Well, someone seems eager.”

He wasn’t willing to waste time with your teasing but begun to assault your lips

Heavy breathing filled the room as he cupped your chin with one hand and tried to get rid of your clothes with the other

Your bodies soon met with a pleasurable sensation, moving in synch.

You held on to him like your life depended on it, ankles hooked behind his back

He wasn’t one to moan, but his heavy breathing had something so unexplainable erotic to it, that it made up for the missing foreplay

One couldn’t be without the other and if it wouldn’t have been for the laws of nature, you would have said that your brains your hearts and your pleasure became one

Sweat made the counter slippery, and your voice became raspy as you finally reached your high together

“Well, hello there.” You could literally hear the smirk on his lips as he said this.

“…hello?”

You thought you were hallucination from your post-orgasmic bliss as you heard another voice talking to the both of you. But Ken’s shocked face as he looked towards your phone woke you up

It couldn’t be that your phone called your ex-boyfriend, right?

Right??

❧ Chifuyu Matsuno

It’s not like Chifuyu needs your attention all the time, but he kinda needs it when he wants it you know?

And today he really needed it

He had given the shop into the hands of his partner, Kazutora, to spend some time with you, as a surprise

The thing with surprises was, that they usually came at the worst times

His mood went downwards as he came home and instead of giving him a confused hug, asking him why he was home already, you were on the phone with god knows whom

He thought you’d end the call soon, so he gave you some space, but as you kept laughing 30 minutes after he arrived, he got annoyed, to say the least.

He didn’t mean to listen in on your conversation, but your constant laughter, bickering and smiling made him…curious

It seemed like your former high school sweetheart had called to “remember the good old times”, and although it wasn’t like him at all, he slowly but surely felt anger bubbling inside of him.

You had settled for the couch, and although the other party was on the phone, he felt the need to touch you, so he laid down between your legs, head resting on your stomach

You, of course, noticed the sour mood hanging in the air (not just because he followed you around like a lost puppy while you were phoning this old friend of yours)

So you petted his hair, knowing it would calm him

But the time for appeasement was over, at least for Chifuyu. He knew that you knew that he wanted you to hang up, yet you didn’t

It started as an innocent kiss on your stomach, which you answered with a silent chuckle, shaking your hand to signal him to stop

That he ignored it would be an understatement

Something you realised as he started caressing your intimate part through your clothes

As your friend on the other side was continuing to tell you about his life, your attention was captured by the innocent puppy-dog eyes your boyfriend gave you as he got rid of the annoying layers keeping him from feeling you

He began giving you kitten licks, that literally took your breath away. Good for you, the other man didn’t notice

Chifuyu, that devil, knew what he was doing, keeping eye contact with you while doing the most sinful things to you

It got worse as he took your pearl between his soft lips and started sucking

You had to press your fist on your mouth to keep any sound from spilling

He continued his assault with a steady pace, and you wanted him to stop as much as you wanted him to continue

“Y/n, are you still there?”

You hadn’t noticed that the excited voice on the phone had stopped

Faster than you could react, Chifuyu had snatched your phone away from you.

His breath tickled your now wet parts as he answered

“Something came up just now, and she needs to come. Try again, pal.”

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo manji gang #tokyo revengers mikey #tokyo manji revengers #draken x reader #ken ryuguji x reader #mikey x reader #sano manjiro x reader #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu matsuno x reader #baji x reader #keisuke baji x reader #tokyo revengers baji #tokyo revengers draken #tokyo revengers chifuyu

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tarydarrington · 3 years

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Essek doesn’t remember much of their introduction, this time around. He had arrived at Caleb’s home in the early afternoon for their scheduled research. They had exchanged pleasantries. Caleb had pulled him into a hug, as he always does these days, and the two of them had made their way to the tower. There might have been more - conversation, witty barbs thrown around between friends, and the like - but all of it had left his mind the moment he saw the corner.

Caleb had seen the questioning look on his face, and a flush had tinted his face as he informed Essek that he has a date, tonight. Then they had settled in with their books, as though everything were perfectly normal and there was not a fist around Essek’s heart.

His eyes scan over the same sentence for a tenth time. It shouldn’t bother him. Caleb is free to seek out partnership wherever he wishes. Certainly, there are many better-suited than… well, there are people who would suit him well. People who are not so shy of touch, who have no tangled past to trip them up, who are lucky enough to see him every day.

It’s only that Essek had let himself start to believe that maybe...

It doesn’t matter. He swallows it down.

Caleb has a date. That is perfectly acceptable. There is absolutely no logical reason why Caleb should not have a date. He is uniquely brilliant and talented, impossibly kind-hearted, utterly endearing, more handsome than anyone Essek has ever-- stop. He is an impressive man, is the point, and certainly no one could be around him for long without noticing.

It looks… Something aches in Essek’s chest. He had never courted during his time in Rosohna, but from time to time, he had born witness to the habits of others. Always, their meetings had seemed extravagant, grand, gaudy - as though the whole of the city might stumble in and judge them unworthy. This little corner of the library is a far cry from any of that.

Two cushioned armchairs have been pressed close to a little, round table. A deep red tablecloth rests atop it, and a set of amber-colored candles wait unlit in the center. Their varying heights remind him of his towers, and the hollow pang in his chest at the thought has him retreating back to his book.

He doesn’t make it more than two lines before his thoughts begin to drift again. It looks so… intimate. Everything Caleb has set out, save the decorations, had already lived in this room. Essek has curled up in those armchairs on many a night, as he waited for Caleb to finish his sleep. He has piled books on that table, caught up with Caleb in the rush of research.

And it’s all so close. So neatly tucked into that little alcove, cozy enough that two people could whisper and still be heard. He knows because he and Caleb have sat propped against the bookshelves there, tossing ideas back and forth. That area is where he keeps their own books: the ones he and Essek have filled together, the ones full of research notes and new spell ideas. Perhaps he’s planning on pulling one out to impress… whoever it is.

Essek feels a bit sick. Man? Woman? Neither? Both? Are they a fellow professor, or a merchant, or an adventurer? Something else entirely? He wishes Jester were here to pry for him. He wishes he didn’t want to know.

Whoever they are, he thinks as he steals a glance back at the alcove, they had better treat him properly. They had better give him everything.

From the corner of his eye, Essek sees Caleb’s eyes flick up to watch him. He looks away hastily, but the way his face softens tells him Caleb has seen him looking.

“What do you think of all that?” he asks with a nod toward the corner.

What does he think?

If Caleb had been trying to design this evening for him, he couldn’t have done better. A small, foolish part of Essek can’t help but wonder if he had been trying to design it for him - but he digs one sharp tooth into the inside of his lip to chase the thought away.

“It is… “ It shouldn’t hurt like this. He has no right to let it hurt like this. “I cannot imagine anything more lovely,” he says truthfully. “I certainly hope your… companion agrees.”

A small smile pulls at Caleb’s lips, and Essek’s heart aches with the hint of fondness in it, as though he’s imagining impressing his mysterious partner this way. “Ja, well, I am hoping my companion will be willing to join me for it,” he says, and his gaze drops back down to his book.

Essek quirks an eyebrow in question, but Caleb doesn’t look back. He’s gone to the trouble of setting all this up, and he still hasn’t so much as asked? But Caleb doesn’t offer any further insight on the topic, and it is most certainly not Essek’s place to ask; so, with what he hopes is not an audible sigh, he tucks back into his book.

Mercifully, the topic is interesting. For the last several months, he and Caleb have been exchanging notes on a more wide-reaching version of Programmed Illusion, and Essek has always been at his best when playing with new magic. The two of them settle into their usual rhythm, the thought of the corner table only nagging at the back of his mind from time to time, and while away the hours together.

It's already half past nine when Essek realizes just how caught up he's become. With a sigh, Essek replaces his book on the table and rises.

“I apologize. I lost track of time.” But Caleb couldn’t have, could he? “I should let you go.”

Caleb's eyes flick up from his reading, a flicker of amusement crossing his face. "There is no hurry, friend," he says.

He stands, as well, as Essek begins to float toward the tower's central cylinder. Truly, he doesn't look rushed in the least. But for once, Essek would very much like to be out of his home quickly, with as little time as possible spent in eyeshot of that perfect, little corner.

“You have someone to meet, do you not?” he prompts. He’s lucky to have had so much practice keeping his face calmly polite.

Caleb smiles, a taut and fragile thing. “Well, no,” he says, “not exactly. Just something to ask.” He clears his throat. With a strange, new nervousness about him, he clasps both hands in front of him and straightens his spine. “So,” he says, inclining his head towards Essek. “Essek Thelyss. Would you care to join me for dinner, tonight?”

Months later, with a smile equal parts smug and fond, Caleb will use Seeming to recreate the way Essek’s face contorts itself before he schools it back under control.

“I--” he attempts. The shade his face must be. “That would, ah…” He is an idiot. An idiot who can’t even find his words, an idiot for whom Caleb-- for whom all this has been planned, and-- “I would be…”

Caleb’s smile softens, and he holds one hand out between them. Essek numbly, slowly, carefully reaches out to take it.

As soon as their hands touch, the lights in the library gutter out, and the candles on the table wink to life. Above, a web of amber stars and constellations spiders its way across the ceiling. The sky above Rosohna. Just where everything would be from his towers, on this day, at this time. That fist around his heart is back, but for an entirely different reason. He had been wrong. There had been a way to make it more perfect, after all.

Essek doesn’t realize he’s staring until Caleb leans in close and murmurs with an audible grin, “I may have figured out that spell a bit earlier than anticipated.”

His only answer is a breath of incredulous laughter and a look that he’s sure is entirely too moon-eyed to be dignified. Under the circumstances, he can’t bring himself to care overmuch. In any case, Caleb seems to appreciate it; the smile on his face is worth just about any amount of indignity, as is the rush as he twines their hands tighter together and leads Essek towards the alcove.

Perhaps there are a dozen or a hundred or a thousand people better suited - or perhaps there are not, he thinks as he settles in between the books they’ve filled together. Perhaps, he thinks fleetingly as a shooting star above catches his eye, he will have to spend some time studying the sky above Blumenthal. He’ll certainly have to finish that spell.

#have something incredibly self indulgent #the very end of this is probably the most outright fluffy thing i've ever posted #shadowgast #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #mine #mine:fic #essek #caleb #critical role

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bloodraynebeast · 3 years

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Since I love to take things in fiction apart and analyse, let’s finally talk about the unexpected pairing of Yashiki / Mashita from Spirit Hunter. May also be writing this because I’m hyped for the third game Shibito Magire and I miss them both. First off, this series is severely underrated. I wish it had more spotlight and can only hope it gets more love. It’s honestly a hidden gem in the horror genre. There’s going to be a lot of discussion about the first game’s main story and DLC, the sequel and some other details so if you want to check out the games yourself, warning that there will be SPOILERS below.

Going in to Death Mark (死印) completely blind, I didn’t know what to expect. I certainly didn’t expect to ship anything. At first glance it’s not really the setting for it, but horror and romance is a combination that should be explored more actually. And Yashiki and Mashita’s connection and chemistry just really shines in the game.

In the first chapter, the protagonist is a clean slate because of the amnesia but appears tender-hearted whereas when Mashita is first introduced, he’s cold and shady as hell, and despite the circumstances, he seems to be intrigued by Yashiki. Throughout the story it’s subtly shown that their bond is slightly different to the rest of the cast. They have more focus and development. While they may have their disagreements, they bounce off each other, have a deeper understanding and are even more relaxed around one another - although not at first. And Mashita’s disdainful, sardonic attitude, though caring more than he lets on is a perfect contrast to Yashiki’s kinder, empathetic nature. A detail I also noticed is that even their Marks are opposites. With the protagonist’s Mark on the back of their right wrist, while Mashita’s is on the underside of his left wrist. They mirror each other. Interesting. Meanwhile Mashita states he sensed his own Mark as soon as he saw Yashiki’s? I mean... I’ve heard that sort of line used as a set up for a lot of romances.

Later on, the dialogue options for scenes with Mashita and his reactions to any sort of affection or appreciation from Yashiki such as telling him he’s grateful for his help or that he’ll miss him when he leaves speak for themselves.

Leading into Chapter 2. Mashita is the first Mark Bearer to stay behind and willingly - even though his Mark had been cleared, unlike other characters. Of course his reasons are motivated by what Mary said and later revealed when appeasing Shimi-O. But there may have been another reason hinted. Mashita states before finally leaving that continuing to stick his neck out for Yashiki has grown too dangerous and apologizes, with the small detail that he clenches a shaking fist. Interpreting that, I think a tiny part of Mashita wanted to try and help the man as much as he was able, considering he was up against something way beyond them. Perhaps he saw an echo of his old mentor in Yashiki considering he is several years his senior, or he was just a little soft on the guy who desperately wanted to prevent any more victims of the curse as well as his own demise. At least a drink was on him if Yashiki lived through it. Also if you take Mashita along in the first investigation in this chapter, it gives a short but sweet moment of him catching Yashiki grinning next to him in the van.

After the events of the main story, it’s revealed that Mashita brings up the idea of Yashiki joining him as a partner as he becomes a private eye. It also won’t be the last time he brings it up. It’s interesting for someone like Mashita to try and persuade someone to work with him and to be a little persistent about it and the fact that it’s Yashiki specifically, makes you wonder. He obviously doesn’t mind his company.

The Red Riding Hood DLC holds one of their most memorable moments. As usual Mashita doesn’t act as brash and rude towards him like he does with the other Mark Bearers and the two have their back and forth interactions when they team up. Mashita protects Yashiki from a possessed Shou ambushing them and when he is forced to confront Red Riding Hood alone, about to plummet to his death.

We get this screen -

Very dramatic. Mashita being the one to save Yashiki like this and being the knight in shining trenchcoat aside, it’s more emphasis on them. It’s the game once again showing that their relationship is something just a little more than the others. Eventually the case comes to a close with the two returning to the mansion, talking about Hyakki Yagyō (Monster’s Parade) - A big implication of them working together again, Mashita giving Yashiki some advice from understanding his mindset and once again saying he could do some good with solving such cases. By this point, it’s pretty transparent that Mashita has a soft spot for him and has his own concerns for his well-being. In addition, even the alternate Blue End CD Drama with Concept! Mashita refuses to give up on Yashiki when he becomes possessed.

The sequel, NG takes place five years following. Since it’s an all new cast and story, they are only briefly referenced. However it’s shown that they continue to work together, such as the two travelling with other members to Rabbit Island and another occasion where they took care of a spirit that killed Ban’s son. Also during the events of the game, Rose mentions that Yashiki is abroad on a business trip with a friend. It’s not confirmed whom he was travelling with but we know the high possibility of who it could be considering.

Overall, despite the small fandom, a large amount of fans also caught onto their subtext. It’s a popular - if not the most popular - pairing and receives a lot of attention in the form of fanarts / doujins / fanfictions / animatics. I have a feeling the creators have at least seen how well received the duo are. I personally haven’t seen that many ship dynamics like this with older, maturer characters particularly in horror and this one works so well, which is mostly why I find it so appealing. These two paired together would certainly be refreshing to see.

All this bases a really special friendship, but it could also be something more underneath. Like any, it’s all up to the player’s interpretation but more than enough the focus is on what they easily could be. Even if the creators were to give Yashiki a completely different love interest, their relationship, these two tired men, for me makes for one of the best things to enjoy about Spirit Hunter.

#死印 #shiin #death mark #spirit hunter #kazuo yashiki #yashiki kazuo #satoru mashita #mashita satoru #yashita

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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

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Gimme Gimme Your Love

For Neo Smut Collective’s Event #3: Risque

▸ Taeil x female!reader ▸ Inspired by the song Gimme Gimme by NCT 127 ▸ Has intense amount of smut, fluff and angst. Fuck buddies au, a bit of CEO au

Summary: A story of begging and understanding. No matter how much Taeil chooses you, love you, or fuck you… you just can’t reciprocate everything that he has to offer.

Word count: 7,508k

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, unprotected sex, protected sex, nipple play, body shots, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), dining table fucking, rough sex, mentions of rough sex, shower sex, scratching, mentions of bruises because of rough sex, intense amount of swearing, toxic work atmosphere, mentions of over working, female reader wears dress, Taeil is a desperate man, desperate for one specific person only. “couple” fighting and shouting. A/N: Pure fiction. YAS MY FIRST TAEIL ONE SHOT! WAHU MORE TO CUM... I MEAN COME HEhe.

First night together

Every Friday, people who worked their ass off at work and even students who just wanted to have a great Friday evening fill the bar near your office.

Why? Because this bar not only serves good booze and different alcoholic beverages, but this bar has its own Karaoke Fridays where people whom you don’t know cheer and clap for you as long as you’re at front singing, regardless of what your voice sounds like. It was quite addicting actually because singing in front of the sea of people who just wants to be entertained is a good stress release and good confidence boost.

But one Friday night, you felt a different kind of calm when you heard someone singing beautifully while you’re quietly drinking your rum coke.

You put down your drink.

Closed your eyes.

And listened to his voice.

Thankfully the whole place knew that they should at least keep quiet when they hear someone singing so beautifully. “You’re smiling, “ your friend noticed and you didn’t deny it. Slowly, you turned your back to see the face of the man with a beautiful voice.

But just before you lock eyes with him, he already had eyes on you. You don’t know if the song became even more beautiful the moment you look each other straight in the eyes or it’s just the rum coke kicking in. But after he sings and left everyone in awe, you quickly followed him towards the bar and found out that he’s all alone.

You watch him accept praises from people who appreciated his voice, watch numerous women give their number, and flirt with him but he doesn’t flirt back.

“What’s a girl gotta do to earn your attention?” You bravely asked. Giving him a slight hint that you’re flirting too and thank goodness he doesn’t look less interested.

“I don’t know. Be you? You have my attention the moment your body swayed while I was singing earlier” he says, putting down his glass of scotch for you. “I’m Taeil. Moon Taeil”

“Well you shined brightly tonight Mr. Moon” you went closer to him and to your surprise he invited you to sit beside him.

It was a nice flirty chat. The ones you don’t usually get when a man is a complete jackass and only wants to fuck. But Taeil... is something else. Taeil wants to fuck too, but he’s not a jackass. He’s not a pervert who likes startling you with his cold hands on your thighs, but Taeil is the kind of man that you want his hands on your thighs right now and spread them accordingly to his liking.

“My place or your place?” You dropped the question that he has been waiting for you to say.

“Mine,” he says and smiled so confidently at you. Standing up from his seat and showing you the way out of the bar.

As planned, your night is continued in his nice apartment. Tongue to tongue the moment he closes the door, hands around each other’s body while undressing as he motions you to his bedroom. Making a trail of both your office clothes on the floor, letting your bodies fall and bounce on the soft mattress. Hands are busy roaming while your lips are too busy kissing each other’s mouth or skin, and immediately fighting for dominance once you’re both naked and ready.

“Let me be on top, promise you won’t regret it” Taeil said, smiling as he got his fingers running up and down on your wet slit while you’re kneeling in between his legs, hand around his cock and pumping it slowly. You must admit, the man is very inviting. So you comply. “Good girl,” he says and switched your positions.

He kissed you on the neck, touching every part of you and trying to make you remember every second of it. “Will make sure you won’t forget me” he whispers oh so sexily. If his singing voice sounded like an angel singing, his whispers sounded sinful. He kissed you all the way down until he reaches your core, but that didn’t happen fast. Every move he makes is slow and unforgettable, kiss by kiss you smile and whimper as he admires your body. And then, even with warning the moment he parted your folds and licked you up and down, that’s when your mind went blank.

Your mind was blank and all you can feel is how his tongue swipes on your cunt, the feeling of his hand kneads your left boob as he pinches your nipple from time to time to hear you whimper. Your hands are perfectly placed on top of his head, tugging his hair whenever you please and he doesn’t mind. “Move your hips” he says, and so you did. Up and down you move it and just like that you’re in control but it feels like you’re still not. It felt really good pulling him more with all your strength left and feeling his hot tongue go in and out of your cunt.

When you finally feel that you’re on edge and you’re more than ready to dive in headfirst, you let go of his head, stopped moving, and let him take over again. Which was a great decision because he folded your legs and spread them even more, making you scream and moan so loud. Giving you your first high for tonight.

He kissed your body again, feeling your body shiver but his lips are the ones calming you down. “Ready to go again?” He asks nicely, but the way he kisses you changed in an instant which made you sensitive and want him again so you nod your head ‘yes’ immediately. He did not leave your neck, kissing it and giving you love bites while you feel his hand fold your left leg and line his hard cock with his free hand. Taeil made you feel how big and hard he is. Swiping it up and down your slit and making you go crazy by feeling him raw.

“That’s the closest we can get to raw sex,” he says. Annoying you and teasing you in a good way. With quick movements and quick hands, he got a condom from his drawer and rolled it before he pushed in. His head is buried on your neck so you can hear every sound he makes and it’s obvious that it feels good even though all you hear from him are groans and moans. Reaching both of your hands to intertwine his fingers with yours, it felt really good and intense when you feel so helpless and you just let go.

Taeil saw you smiling. Who wouldn’t if a handsome man like Taeil who has a golden voice knew how to fuck good?

“That good? Hmm?” He disturbed your thoughts and started kissing your lips when he thrust deeper, putting his whole cock in. Fuck he’s huge and you can really feel the stretch. But the deeper and harder he goes, you became wetter and moan louder near his ear.

“Not so deep” you struggle to tell him but honestly you wanted the opposite. You wanted him to fuck you hard but you’re afraid you won't last long.

“Don’t worry, if you cum early I promise we’ll go again... for as many as you want” and so he went deeper, pulling out completely, and went back in with a harder thrust that the impact made your boobs bounce.

“Fuck-“ you croak. Then he thrust hard again and again and again. Putting your arms above your head then he started to move so fast and fucked you harder. “T-Taeil,” but he can’t hear you because he's focused on fucking you.

He lets go of your hands and puts them on your thighs, pinning them on the mattress as he drills you down and you moaned so loud that you’re sure his neighbors heard you. Then your toes started to curl again and you clenched so good around Taeil that it made him cum after you. He let out a small laugh and rests his forehead on yours while he shoots his cum in the condom, feeling his warm and sweaty body on top of you. It feels nice.

Pulling out was a little unpleasant because you can feel the sting on your cunt, it hurts but you wanted it.

“We’ll go again only if you want to,” he said and kissed your forehead before he goes to his bathroom and discards the condom.

By the time he went back with a glass of water and a clean shirt for you, you were already asleep and enjoying his comfortable bed like you own it. He shook his head in disbelief and snorted, kissing your body and cleaning your thighs before he dresses you.

It was a perfect evening, and Taeil is beyond thankful that he scored a gem because of his angelic voice. Totally unexpected and this night may count as a one night stand, but he is positive that you have his heart already. He wanted to sleep beside you but he was afraid that you might wake up uncomfortably if you see him sleeping beside you, so he slept on the couch.

On the next day, Taeil woke up earlier than expected even though he’s incredibly tired from work the other day plus the fucking from last night. Maybe he’s just excited to see you again.

He then stretched his body quietly before checking up on you, expecting that you’re all dressed up and ready to leave him. But to his surprise... you’re still sleeping soundly in his bed.

“You’re even beautiful when you sleep,” he whispered and walked quietly towards you to put down his curtains so the morning light won’t hit your eyes and disturb your good sleep.

But he failed.

“What are you doing? Come to bed again, it’s the weekend,” you said groggily and pat the side of the bed. Inviting him to sleep again because you thought he slept beside you. Of course, he followed what you said, it made him happy. “Feels good to be waking up with you instead of some random jackass,” you murmured and pull him to an embrace. Making him completely shocked and overwhelmed. Taeil didn’t have a choice but to sleep again and enjoy your warmth.

Who is Taeil?

When you’re both finally up and made breakfast for lunch... in bed... you and Taeil did a question and answer while eating pancakes.

His sweet smile cannot be easily ignored and that shit made your heart beat so fast, thankfully you’re drinking freshly squeezed orange juice and not coffee.

“So you work with music, your clients are singers and musicians, so that makes you a producer? Am I right?” You were trying to guess what he does for a living by just looking around his very nice apartment. “I also have a great feeling that you’re a big-time producer,” you added and put a piece of pancake in his mouth.

“Close,” he said while chewing and smiling so handsomely. “CEO and producer,” he finally said it. Watching your jaw drop in amazement as he laughs so loud because of your funny reaction.

“I made the CEO sleep on the couch?!” His laugh became even more louder and you just watched him, but when he’s done laughing, he came closer to you to put the plates on top of the bedside drawer.

“Did you really mean what you said earlier?” He asks softly, spreading kisses on your leg and all the way up until he reaches your inner thighs and kisses your clothed pussy. Putting his head inside his oversized shirt and started to spread kisses on your body and soon he’s sucking your boobs. Good thing you’re leaning on his headboard and you’re sitting comfortably, this position is perfect you thought.

“It’s nice if you could answer my question-“ he giggled when he came out from the inside of your shirt- his shirt.

“About waking up with you beside me and not with a random jackass? Yeah,” you didn’t mean to moan but the way he kneads your boobs under your shirt felt so good while his lips are busy kissing your neck. “Oh Taeil,” you moaned again when you felt his hand creeping on your lower abdomen and shamelessly remove your panties. Pulling them down and throw it on the side, spreading your legs perfectly just the way he wanted.

The position that you’re in right now made you so open and you bet this will feel good. When he removed his boxers and threw it near your panties, you felt this sudden urge that you want him to fuck you already. “Quit playing games Taeil,” you put your own fingers in your mouth and put it on your slit to make it wet even more. Taeil then did not delay it any longer and lined his cock on your entrance, watched it go inside your cunt, and feel your tightness again.

He’s fucking you slow again and damn this man is testing your patience, “harder,” you kissed him with want, licking his lips and sucking his tongue. Asking him over and over again to fuck you harder because you miss his roughness already.

“Harder,” you begged again and lifted your shirt to show him your boobs. Hoping that it made him crave for you and push him to fuck you harder. “Fuck me harder please?” You moan out and you didn’t expect to be on edge so soon. Oh this man is good.

When you finally stopped begging and let him do what he wanted, he started fucking you harder when you finally closed your eyes, roll your head back, part your lips, and arch your back. Holding on to his back so tightly that your nails are digging into his skin and he is more than sure that it will leave a bruise.

He fucked you hard. Put his hand around your neck, kissed you, and took your breath away as you finally come to your high and your body started to shiver and tense up. But the man above you kept on fucking you hard and deep until he finally pulled out and shoot his cum on your boobs. Painting your body with his hot cum. Filthy. But this is better because you’re not on the pill.

With heavy breaths and weak body, you both collapsed on the mattress and stare at the ceiling. Waiting for each other to come down from your highs.

“Thanks for pulling out, didn’t have the energy to push you away,” you said and kissed his cheek in a friendly way.

“Am I going to see you again once I let you step out of my apartment?” He asks, caging you with his arms and covering your exposed boobs.

“Oh you bet,” he was happy with your answer.

“I should start buying dozens of condoms then,” he giggled and started tickling your sides which was your weakness. He remembered from the question and answer earlier.

“Okay okay-“ you catch your breath and thankfully he stopped, “You feel much nicer without a condom, I’ll take the pill for you- I mean for me”

“For me?” He teased you back, you just rolled your eyes at him playfully. “Want to go again? I’ll get some condoms,” he said inviting you again by kissing your neck. And so you guys fucked again the whole afternoon and spend the night weekend together.

7PM

For three weeks straight now you’ve been seeing Taeil and going out with him. And he was great. Great in the kitchen, great in business, and of course great in bed... but most importantly, the man is a natural when it comes to taking care of a woman. He knows how to touch you, he knows how to listen, when to have sex, when to have rough sex, everything. And he can do this perfectly because he likes you and he’s trying his best to be the right man for you.

The only problem is, you don’t like him as much as he likes you. You like him as a great man, of course, who wouldn’t. But you know he deserves to be with a woman that can match his perfection.

So instead of building a relationship with Taeil, you made sure that you’re only after his good company and not his love. Everyday, you ring his doorbell by 7pm like clockwork and he will welcome you with a handsome smile and attack you with kisses the moment you step inside his place.

“You look good, are you tired? Made us dinner, eat with me before you leave”

But you never leave early. Even if you have to, you always find a reason to stay. He’s just very inviting without even trying, comfortable to be with and you love that about him. “I see you’ve changed your mind....again?” he giggled while drying the plates with you. He was talking about you staying longer than expected. “I’ll get you some comfortable clothes,” he rolled his eyes playfully and left you in the kitchen.

Taeil has become your usual 7pm. Your calm by 7pm. Your favorite part of the day. And you may not know but you are his favorite part of the day too.

“You look tired, what have you been up to?” He asked while rubbing your tired feet. Enjoying the glass of wine in your hand but you put it down and sat on his lap.

“I’m on the verge of being promoted,” you finally said it but you don’t look so happy and he noticed.

“But?” he started caressing your thighs softly with his hands and giving your shoulders a gentle squeeze to help you relieve your stress.

“There's four of us, and there’s a huge chance that I won’t get that promotion- you see, you CEOs are always like that. You toy with your employees, you want to bring out the best in us but by the end of the day you will just disappoint us but the company already benefited,” you reached for your glass of wine and finished it in one down after you finished your rant.

Then you kissed his lips with want, tasting the sweet wine through his lips and tongue.

“Wow- I didn’t expect that. Didn’t even saw it coming? Are you drunk already?” He asks, totally shocked about the kiss.

“No. Not even close,” you said. Leaning on his chest perfectly and listening to his heart. “Your lips can make every frustration that I have disappear”

“Well then don’t stop,” he says. Cupping your face and leaning closer towards you, waiting for you to initiate the kiss. You then wrapped your arms around his neck and traced his perfect features with your fingers. Admiring his handsomeness through minimal light from his window, smiling because his catching your fingers with his mouth and kisses your hand. Why can’t you love this man? Everything about him is perfect.

And for the much awaited kiss, you kissed him with want again. Pouring every frustration to him until the kiss felt really good and sincere that Taeil believed that someday you will give him a chance to love you.

You kissed and kissed him until you fall on the soft cushion and position Taeil in between your legs. He lifts your oversized shirt just above your chest to expose your boobs and immediately sucks your nipples and spreads loving kisses on your body. Taeil’s cold hands give you a shiver that goes straight to your pussy and make you wet. He then saw your neediness again, smiling and satisfied with the outcome.

“I’m not going to fuck you here, calm down,” he whispers and went back to kissing your neck and brushing your nipples softly with his thumb. Which fucking felt good and made you moan. “Were just going to play for tonight, didn’t want to exhaust you”

“Sounds good. But play fair,” you said and tugged his shirt. He complied and removed it immediately. “You’re so hot,” you murmured and palmed his clothed hardening cock through his sweat pants, he then went back to licking and sucking your nipples. Spreading spit all over your chest area because of too many wet kisses and you see your nipples swollen already. You moan and arch your back, feeling every swirl of Taeil’s hot tongue around your nipples and loving the sound of wet kisses that he makes. It’s quiet in his apartment, cold because of the air conditioning but you love every second of it.

He bit your left nipple, which made you moan a little louder and hold on to him tightly, but he pulled away immediately after teasing you to grab his glass of wine and drank a little. Taeil holding a glass of wine, shirtless in the dark made him extra hot. And seeing his abs under the soft moonlight from his windows made your heart race so fast that you shamelessly ran your hands around his body. “Like what you see?” he smiled, you nod.

You wonder why he’s still holding the glass of wine. Is he done for the night already?

“No, we're not yet done” he said as if he heard your thoughts.

To your shock, he pours the cold wine on your body and quickly slurped it. Completely ruining his couch for the name of lust. He poured it again, and down the wine goes and stains your lacy panties. “I hate you,” you murmured with a smile, while he’s busy licking your body.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” he said, kissing your lower abdomen before winking and completely removing your panties.

His cold tongue swipes up and down which made you close your legs but Taeil was quick to stop your legs. Now you have no choice but to endure what this man has in store for you. He finally drank the small amount of alcohol left from his glass, came closer to you and kissed you sweetly only to transfer the alcohol to your mouth. Taeil then immediately proceeds to licking your cunt and spreading your folds so he can reach deeper. Flicking his tongue faster which made you curl your toes and cum in no time, pushing his head away from your cunt and trying so hard to get away from his strong arms but you can't.

Shivering because of his cold place and from your amazing orgasm, he pulled down your shirt and spread kisses on your legs so you will feel his warmth. “I will promote some of my employees tomorrow. On your behalf, thanks for the lecture” he joked and kissed you on the forehead. “What will I do without you?”

“You will be perfectly fine without me. Look around you. You’re a great man Taeil, you deserve someone great too” you rake his hair away and there he goes again, catching your hand and kissing it one too many times.

“You’re great too and I like you,” he said in a teasing voice. Even though he perfectly knew that you’re not on the same page.

“Don’t like me. Seriously Taeil, were doing fine-“

“And I’m not planning to ruin us. Gotcha. Come on, I’ll clean you up then let’s sleep” He stands up and offered his hand. Ending the conversation that can hurt both of you if it further continues.

On the next day, you woke up earlier than Taeil but you cuddled for a few minutes before you hit the shower. You showered him with loving kisses and whispered sweet praises that you mean while he was sleeping but you ended up waking him up. “Do you have work today?” he said with a hoarse voice and wraps his arms around you.

“Mhmm. Don’t forget you have employees to promote today,” you reminded him of what he said to you last night which made him smile and nod his head. Closing his eyes again to sleep more.

“I freed my other drawer and put your stuff there,” he murmured before going back to sleep. You see, Taeil is such a good man that he shared his apartment with you and let you have a few things over just so you can feel at home. So whenever you sleepover on a weekday, you don’t have to worry about your office clothes.

After you took a bath and you were walking towards his walk-in closet with just a towel wrapped around your body, he caught you in his arms and brought you back to his bathroom. “Taeil no- I can’t be late!” you giggled but you feel weak because of his kisses and tickles. Removing your towel with one swift move and just like that you’re ready to take a shower again, but this time with Taeil. He removed his robe and exposed his hot body to you, joining you inside and putting a hot shower for both of you.

“Feels good?” he asks and you nod your head ‘yes’. He started caressing your back with his fingertips while you initiate and put soap in your hand. Spreading it generously around his body and feeling his hot body, muscle by muscle while you’re skin to skin.

Taeil looked so hot. Like a porn star but better because you can touch him. “Want me to rough you up before we head to work?” he asks so nicely while he nibs your earlobe.

“Yes please,” you moan out when you feel him lift your one leg and told you to jump and wrap your legs around his waist so he can line his cock and enter you raw. Slowly and without enough foreplay. It stings a bit, but it made you hold on tighter to him. He pushed you against the glass wall, loving how your wet skin feels against his. Thrusting upward so hard that you hiss and moaned loudly, but the sounds of your moans just makes Taeil unbelievably horny that he slapped your ass and thrust faster.

He was so deep because your position was perfect. Kissing your body and your boobs while he fucks you, feeling his roughness by the way he held you against the glass wall, with how he thrust and whenever he kisses your lips with want. “Oh fuck,” you pulled your body closer to him because you wanted him deeper, actually you’re positive that he already rearranged your guts but you want more.

When he finally came, he pulled out immediately and watched his thick cum drip from your hole. Playing with your clit as you come down from your high with weak legs but Taeil got you. “How about a proper shower?” you kissed him and stopped him from having a round two because you’re both going to be late if this shower moment will be longer than expected.

“Will I see you tonight?” he asks without making eye contact because he’s busy fixing his necktie for the third time. You stopped for a minute from dressing yourself and fix the poor man’s tie for him. Loop after loop he watched you and adored you, asking the question, “What will I do without you?” Taeil then turned your body around and helped you zip your dress up, looking at you through the mirror and stopping himself from kissing your neck.

“Again, you will be totally fine. And to answer your first question, sadly no. I have overtime tonight. If I really want this promotion, I have to show it to my boss”

“Overtime is fine, I can wait. How about a late dinner? I’ll come by your apartment with some take out?” he offered. Of course he will never take no for an answer so you just accepted his offer.

As you two part and get on with your jobs, Taeil is already looking forward to dinner and can’t wait to finish his work. You, on the other hand, thought of Taeil’s words these past few days. Thinking about how he constantly says that he will not survive without you, something so... little but it bothers you so much. You know that he likes you, and you don’t have a problem with that. However, it will be a great problem if he starts asking for something in return. Which you can’t give. Clearly.

What if one day he asks you out on a proper date? How will you turn down that offer when you can’t even say no to a simple take out?

What if one day he confesses something to you, but you don’t want it. Specifically love. How will you turn down the great opportunity to love a great man?

What if one day he wants to make love and not just fuck or fool around anymore?

Is it better to cut ties now, before it’s too late? Or do you want everything to fuck up first before you stop seeing him?

“Hey-“ Your co-worker disturbed you and your ugly thoughts. “You okay?” she asks and you nod with an awkward smile. “Boss wants to talk to you. About the promotion? Heard he dropped someone already, so good luck” she added and you quickly got on your feet and made your way to your boss’s office.

The moment you closed the door and he gave you his attention, he then informed you of the unfortunate news, apologized and complimented you for your hard work. But honestly, all you can hear now is a ringing sound in your ear. The whole time he was talking until he dismissed you and made your way to the lady's bathroom.

You didn’t cry. But you feel so unaccomplished. And that’s fine because you have all the time in the world to try again and show them that they made the wrong decision.

“Hey Y/n, your overtime is canceled. You can go home on time tonight, so sorry about the promotion” your co-worker once again disturbed you and your thoughts when you came back to your desk and then heard your phone ringing. It’s Taeil and you’re not in the mood to talk to anyone. You just want to be alone for a moment and let things sink in.

But Taeil being the overthinker between you two felt that something is wrong already. So he respects your decision and waited patiently for dinner to finally see you.

As planned, he went to your apartment with bags and bags of takeout and other snacks that you love. He sent you a message before ringing your doorbell saying, ‘It’s Taeil time!’ and saw a big smile on his face through the intercom.

“You know my code why didn’t you welcomed yourself in? Hi,” you opened your door widely and wrapped your arms around him because he couldn’t. “I had a bad day,” you said and kissed his nose.

“Mhmm. I knew it because you weren’t answering my calls. How bad are we talking about? Do I need to beat someone?” he joked but it’s his way to cheer you up.

“I didn’t get the promotion” you finally said it and helped him with the bags. The moment the bags are on the kitchen counter, he pulled you in for a comforting hug. The kind of hug that you usually get from a close friend or a family member. That’s why it was so comforting that you didn’t want to let go so soon but you’re both starving already.

And the night was spent well and went well than expected. You told him about the promotion and he listened attentively, as always. Providing further comfort by massaging your toes and ankle. He also washed the dishes and cleaned your kitchen so you can tell him more about your day and he can listen to you more.

“I didn’t know I needed someone, it’s nice to have you here,” you said, hugging him from behind after he’s done with the dishes. Kissing his strong back, nape, and neck to express your gratitude more. “Can you stay the night?” you asked when he turned around and faced you. He shook his head ‘no’ which made you pout cutely.

“What? You can’t stay at my place but I can treat yours my second home?” you giggled and came closer to him, acting cute so he will give in to your request.

“No it’s not that- Don’t act cute,” he said and wrapped his arms around you. “I have to go back to the office tonight, I have clients waiting. Were recording for a new album,”

“Ah, okay” you let out a heavy sigh, expressing your defeat but it’s okay. Taeil has done so much for you tonight. “Promise to call when you get home?” you added and he sealed his promise with a kiss. Even praised you and whispered encouraging words near your ear before he pulls away from his tight embrace.

Later that night, while Taeil is working late with his clients all he can think about is you and whether he did the right choice about leaving you alone tonight. Disturbed and really out of focus, Taeil tried so hard to accompany his clients still with all his energy left.

Honestly, he was tired and sleepy and he kept thinking about you. And the moment the last client finished recording, Taeil bolted outside the recording studio and drove back to your place with tired eyes, body. and mind.

He welcomed himself in, hopefully he didn’t wake you up. Only to find you sleeping on your couch uncomfortably and freezing. He let out a heavy sigh and quietly murmured, ‘what will you do without me?’ and giggled because he wasn’t serious about his question.

“Hey,” he whispered while caressing your head. Waking you up with soft and quiet kisses. You didn’t say anything, but you spread your arms and gave him a tight hug, thanking him in your mind for coming back but you’re just so sleepy to talk. Then you saw his tired eyes and you loosened up his tie and some buttons from his dress shirt too.

“Move over?” he says and joined you on your couch. Thankfully it’s big enough for the two of you but still, it was uncomfortable, but no one cares because all that matters now is each other’s presence.

Taeil then can finally close his eyes, dive to the warmth that you’re giving him and finally rest while his arms are wrapped around you.

Even though at first you thought that you don’t need Taeil to give you the comfort that you’ve been craving for, but now, you must admit that you needed him after all.

Draw a line

The rejection from the promotion happened a month ago already but you’re still pretty bitter about it and you’ve been working your ass off, showing them that you’re worthy of the promotion. Week after week, you accept over time and do not complain about a single thing. That’s why you’ve been really stressed lately that you almost feel sorry for Taeil because you always take it all out in bed... or wherever you fuck.

“Are you going to be comfortable there?” he asks with ragged breaths as Taeil lifts your skirt and removes your panties as quickly as he can.

“It will, just fuck me hard,” you said as you lay down on Taeil’s dining table and spread your legs open for him. You watch him spit on his fingers and put them straight right to your cunt and massage it a little so you can get wet more. With his strength, he pulled your legs closer to him which made you reach for the corners of the table so you won't fall off. Which you almost did because his first thrust was really hard, “Yeah- fuck just like that, harder” you moaned and grip the wooded table tighter as Taeil fucked you harder that you felt his dining table move. Then he put his thumb on your clit and massaged it with the right amount of pressure to put you on edge in no time, making Taeil thrust faster and bite his lower lip as concentrates while fucking you. Looking so hot than ever.

“Fuck you. How can you be so hot-“ you whined and sat up. Reaching for his face to rake his hair away to see his handsome face more clearly now. You rolled your head back and grip his locks as you focus on the sensation that’s happening in between your legs. And the more Taeil fucks you faster, the tighter you hold on to his shoulders and scratch his neck or whatever skin you can reach to bruise. He groaned so loud near your ear but it was satisfying for you as you try to close your legs over and over again but Taeil’s hands kept your legs open, giving you no other option but to clench and unclench around him.

When you looked down in between your legs, you see his cock still inside you while his cum is dripping on the table. He reached for your lips to kiss you before he pulls out and kept your lips together when he reached down to run a finger up and down your slit to tease your sensitive cunt. “Enough- please” you giggle and tried pushing him away, thankfully he stopped and put you down the table.

“Go shower, I’ll clean this up” Taeil said and kissed you one last time before putting his cock back in his pants.

Usually, he was the one leaving bruises on your body whether it’s a hand mark from a hard slap on the ass or a few love bites here and there, but lately he lets you take control and you’re the one roughing him up to the point that sometimes he needed a serious cover up for all the bruises that you caused. “I’m so sorry, I promise to cut my nails soon” you apologize while putting more ointment on the bruises around his neck and back.

“It’s okay. Do you hear me complain?” he snorted and kissed your hand. “But I’m more worried about you. Are you okay? I noticed you’ve been overworking yourself” he said and made you stop with what you’re doing.

“Just office stuff- I’m fine, Mr. CEO,” you kissed his shoulder and helped him put on his sleepwear. “You always fuck my stress away, so I’m okay”

“Right- well, good night then” he kissed you on the cheek, fluffed his pillow, and turned his back against you before he turns off the lampshade.

You knew that somehow you offended him again but he didn’t mention anything. Maybe it's because he was sincerely concerned about you and you were being a bitch by telling him that his only purpose in your life is to fuck your stress away. And that he wanted you to open up to him but you keep your walls up because he’s not on the right position to worry about you. Good job.

And that is the first time you felt ashamed for using someone so decent and nice for your own selfish wants. Ever since you met Taeil he was bold and sure about his feelings for you but you always tell him to stop being so clingy or too sweet because you two are just fucking.

Maybe this is the time you’re most afraid of.

After that misunderstanding with Taeil, waking up beside him became heavier and it even added to your stress. You started to have cold mornings and quiet nights together until you both got sick and started fighting like there's no tomorrow. You started questioning yourself, why do you even bother going to his place and sleeping on the same bed with him?

Given that you grew cold towards him, Taeil is desperate to make peace and bring back the warmth in your relationship. But sometimes, he can be too much to the point that people thought you’re officially together and you don't like that idea.

“‘A girl who can’t earn a promotion so she fucks other CEOs!’ that’s what’s spreading around our office Taeil! Do you think flowers can fix what we fucking have? Well, it didn’t. You made it worst!” you scoffed and tried so hard to stop your tears, “Can’t believe we're fighting over a fucking bouquet of flowers,” you said sternly. Crossing your arms in front of the quiet man in front of you.

He hates feeling this small. He hates it whenever you shout at him while his intentions were clear. Taeil just wants to show how serious he is. “Okay, I will never give you flowers again. I’m sorry, now can you please calm down and let's stop fighting from now on?” he bravely came closer to you to caress your shoulders and offered to hug you. But instead, you pushed him away, and scoffed. Showing him that you’re frustrated and disappointed with him again.

“I don’t know what you fucking want anymore! How hard is it for you to swallow your fucking pride, huh? Okay! What do you want?”

“What I want is for you to stop acting like we're together because it’s not going to happen! Face the truth!” you shouted and slapped the bouquet of flowers to him. Completely ruining the perfectly arranged bouquet that Taeil took time to pick at the flower shop earlier.

All the gifts, the flower deliveries in your office, his 70 missed calls during office hours… it’s all too much that you feel like you can’t be comfortable around him anymore.

But even though everything is becoming blurry between you two, sometimes there are nights that you forgive each other. Or maybe you’re both incredibly tired from work that you don’t have the energy left to quarrel or argue. Which leads to fucking without looking at each other directly because now you’re both ashamed of how you used each other for sex.

So you stopped coming to his place and stopped responding to his texts little by little.

Taeil was not stupid to not see that you’re distancing yourself from him. He saw it coming, but you were too precious and special for him already that he can’t just let you go and forget him. No. So the desperate man made desperate moves, forcing himself to believe that someday you will see that he loves you truly and eventually come back.

You stopped receiving jewelry maybe because he knew you will only send them back, but dinner invitations kept on coming and you can only imagine him waiting in a classy restaurant, looking so handsome but you’re still you’re not going to see him. He stopped sending you flowers too because it reminded him of the awful fight that you had not so long ago, so he sent you your favorite take out instead.

But on top of that, he always goes to your apartment and left food, a letter, or any kind of gift on your doorstep, not even going to try and open your door even though he knew your code by heart.

Day after day he hoped that you will open your door for him again and welcome him with open arms and sweet kisses like you used to. But a month has passed already and you haven’t talked to him even just for a second.

Until he finally decided to stop.

You just arrived from a tiring day at work and you noticed that there were no gifts at your doorstep, only a video message on your intercom. To your surprise, it was Taeil with no sign of positivity on his face, no smile, no gifts in his hands, just pure sincerity and sadness.

“To tell you the truth I’m getting sick of you telling me and reminding me of my role in your life and that is to fuck you and be your fuck buddy only- I was mad because I wanted more and I couldn’t understand why you can’t accept my love. But when you stopped going to my place and started blocking my calls and texts, I realized that I would rather be someone who fucks you than be a nobody all of a sudden. But now that it’s all clear to me that you really want me to be gone in your life, I respect that. I- I love you Y/n, and I’m sorry for being desperate. H-have a great life.”

And just as you thought that cutting ties with Taeil will give a great relief... it didn’t. In fact, it even made your heart feel heavier than ever and you couldn’t believe that you can understand and relate to what he’s saying. Now that he has completely given up on you, you feel alone all of a sudden and it didn’t feel nice. Not even the slightest.

But you’re ready to be miserable everyday, instead of going back to his arms and feel all the guilt and shame again. And you know that this will be for the best.

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leascorner · 3 years

Text

j.b.b. | Safe [1/3]

Summary: “You keep an eye on her,” he ordered Alpine in a whisper. The cat only blinked at him in return.

Bucky nodded and made his way to the front door. Slowly, he closed the door of his bedroom and got his gun out. He didn’t know who could be at his door at this time of the night, and for a moment, he could only see Tom, being there to finish his work.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Warnings: Description of wounds and mention of blood, mention of violence, mention of guns, probably inexact medical facts, mention of alcohol consumptions

Word Count: 4k

a/n: Feedback is greatly appreciated. Next part published on May 29th.

Masterlist / Part 2 >

Something was wrong.

Bucky didn't know if it was the metallic taste in his mouth, the fact Alpine didn't even greet him when he had stepped a foot in his apartment like usual or the electric atmosphere everywhere around him. But all his senses had suddenly awoken. Chills down along his spine, he instinctively reached to the gun at his waistband.

Slowly, Bucky progressed through his apartment. On his left, the kitchen was just as he had left it this morning; his mug in the kitchen sink, pack of coconut sugar near the coffee pot that he did not have time to put away. Clear. He moved to the living room. Alpine was not on the cat tree near the bay window nor on its favorite spot on the couch. The blanket he had slept on last night was still on the floor. Clear. He was now at his bedroom door. The bed was perfectly made, like it had been for a couple of days since he could not bear sleeping on it. He checked underneath the bed, in the closet. Clear.Last but not least, he moved to his en-suite bathroom. The door had been put against the door frame, but it was not closed. It wasn't something that he ever did as Alpine's litter was in the bathroom. He slowly pushed the door open, ready to fight.

What he found in his bathroom was not what he had expected. Agent Y/L/N was standing right there in front of him. Messy hair. Clotted blood all over her nose and chin. Ripped up clothes. Right arm wrapped around her stomach, potentially hiding wounds from the amount of blood on her shirt and keeping pressure on it at the same time. Left arm outstretched and holding a gun. She did not look good.

At the sight of Bucky, Y/N immediately dropped the gun on the counter of the bathroom sink she was leaning against, well aware he was not a threat. She looked deathly pale, ready to pass out at any minutes. Through the fabric of her shirt, Bucky could see the distortion of her right arm; from there, he couldn't tell if it was an open-fracture or a very huge lump. Her left foot was not resting on the floor completely and she had applied a tourniquet a little above her knee to stop the bleeding of what seemed to be a bullet wound. She was gripping the edge of the bathroom sink with her now free left hand, both for support and to get through the pain.

“I didn't know where else to go.”

Her voice was hoarse and low. Bucky could not see if she had bruises on her neck, but he could tell from her voice she had been strangled. She had obviously been beating up, but all he could think about was how - and why- she knew where he lived. He could count with his right hand the number of people that knew his place and it included Sam, his partner, and Sarah, Sam's sister. She sure wasn't one of those.

He searched his bathroom, making sure she was alone, as if he was not aware his bathroom was tiny and that he could see from the doorstep if there was somebody in the shower stall. Clear. He returned his attention to Y/N, still gripped at the edge of the bathroom sink. She must have gone through his stuff as there were a bloody washcloth and a clean towel on the counter near her. A bottle of vodka was there too, for disinfecting her wounds or for pain relief, Bucky wasn't sure. Neither of that he ever needed, it was one of the perks of the super-soldier serum in his veins. Alpine was sat on the toilet seat, eyeing her carefully from afar.

Bucky finally lowered his gun.

“What happened?” he questioned, checking through the small window of his bathroom if he saw anyone suspicious roamed around the neighborhood.

“He figured it out,” Y/N mumbled, so low he barely heard her, but it still got him to look back at her.

She had been undercover for the past two years, working on breaking up a network of handguns resale for the NYPD. Bucky joined the case only about a year ago when it turned out Tom O’Brien, the boss of the network, was also very interested in the super-soldier serum. Growing closer to Tom, Y/N had found out he was planning on creating new super-soldiers and selling them as lethal weapons to the highest bidders. At that time, Tom had yet to get a hold on the serum and Y/N's mission aim radically changed to gather any information regarding people involved in this new kind of resale.

Bucky had only met her once with Sam. It was in Mexico, last year. Y/N was accompanying Tom's right-hand man to complete a deal with some Mexican gang. They had met at her hotel spa, where Y/N was supposed to have booked a massage session. He had barely recognized her from the picture in her file. She had her hair cut shorter and dyed in lilac color. She was the exact contrary of the frail and fragile person he had imagined her to be. In reality, she was very smart and hard-working. She had let Sam and Bucky know about everything she already knew, and the duo introduced her to some new targets for her to get information on.

The encountered lasted less to thirty minutes and they never met in person again after that. However, Bucky kept an eye on her; he joined the small team that was handling the information she would gather. The team was made of Greg, the inspector in charge of the case; Marco, the IT genius; Larry, whom was an infiltration expert at the NYPD and Faith, a new recruit that came in very handy as it turned out she had an excellent memory and could recall every details in a file after just one read. They were mostly monitoring her whereabouts through CCTV. Her place was also under surveillance; there were mics in every room and a small camera in the living room. Y/N had also put mics at Tom’s places – in his office and his apartment; that was where they were staying the most.

Bucky had spent the last year or so watching or listening to her. In the street, in the train, at home - though she was not home much. There wasn’t a day he hadn’t watched her every move or listen to one of her conversations. As creepy as it may sound, he felt like he had known her for a very long time. He knew she liked to get takeout from that Chinese place near the train station. He knew she didn’t like coffee. He knew the way she would scrunch her nose when she was thinking – yes, he thought it was adorable. He knew she liked her black sneakers – the shoes she would always wear. He knew so much about her and her habits. Like her Starbucks ritual.

Every morning ever since Y/N had been undercover, she would go to the small Starbucks two blocks down from Tom’s place. Marco had hacked the boutique camera so they could watch her. She would usually order anything with tea in it and just stand there, chatting with the bartenders about how their day was going. To others, it looked like a habit of hers. To the team, it was a sign she was still alive and doing well. Sometimes, she would be abroad with Tom, doing god-knows-what, and it was always a celebration when she would be back to her morning rituals. It naturally became the first thing Bucky did in the mornings when he got to the office; get in front of his computer and watch her order tea. He knew it was stupid, and that she was more than capable of taking care of herself, but seeing her, smiling, happy, it made him feel close to her and the lump in his throat – that he recently identified as the fearof anything happening to her – would disappear a little. He cared about her so much that the three months ago, when she ordered an expresso instead of her usual tea, Bucky had to break protocol just to make sure she was okay. He had called her from a phone booth on her cell phone and made up some shitty story of being an old friend trying to reconnect. Only for her to laugh at him because she had recognized him, but she still played along. In the end, she simply hadn’t been sleeping alright and needed something to get going in her day. Sam made fun of him for days after this incident, but all that really mattered to Bucky was to know she was safe.

Tom was no angel; he was even the complete opposite, known by everyone to be pitiless. Bucky didn’t know what Y/N did to earn Tom’s trust. All he knew was that it was not romantic, nor sexual in any way, but Tom still had taken her under his wing to work for him. She truly worked wonders but also took a major risk for her life. A step wrong and he would end her like she was nothing. And all this time, she had been doing an amazing work. The amount of information she got back to the team was huge. They identified a super-soldier resale network taking place on several continents. They were just a few weeks away – days even, of the biggest good catch in the NYPD history.

Bucky and Sam had made arrangements to get her safe as soon as it was all over and planned for her to take out into the countryside before the Tom’s trial at which she would be the main witness. She would be freed of her character; she would finally be herself again. And Bucky could not wait to know the real her.

“How could he have known?" Y/N asked more to herself than anyone else. She had gone back to whatever she was doing before Bucky went home; that was to say vigorously trying to remove the dry blood spread out all other her face. "I know he wasn't suspected a thing. Tom is not that smart. He knows his business, but he is oblivious to anything else. He didn't even know about the mic in his office.” She stopped, having a moment of clarity, realizing Tom must know now.

“We’ll worry about that later.” Bucky interrupted her. The more blood she was getting off her face, the paler he realized she was. He was pretty sure she had lost a significant amount of blood, but she was still talking and sort-of standing so he knew it was not that bad. He also knew it could worsen very quickly and that her right arm and left leg most certainly required medical attention. “We need to go to the hospital," he insisted.

Y/N did not even look at him and continued to talk to herself. “He knew my real name; it can only come from us.” She kept repeating ‘it can only come from us’ over and over, while washing her face. Bucky was not sure what that was supposed to mean because all he could see was how red the white washcloth nowwas, and how he could see all the scratches appear on her face. Her right eyebrows arch. Her left cheekbone. Her lower lips. He wondered how Tom, or whoever she had fought with, was. He wondered how she could have gotten away and made it to his place; she could have been anywhere, but she still chose to cross all Brooklyn to seek refuge to him. And he still wondered how she could have known where he lived.

Y/N hissed and threw abruptly the washing cloth in the sink, making Bucky look back at her. She was now eyes closed, her left hand holding her right elbow to keep her arm in place, repeatedly counting to ten to get through the pain. She must have had moved her right arm too much. Bucky didn’t know what was going on in her head, what she was even doing here. He knew she was more than capable of doing it herself, taking care of herself without help, but since she was there and he was there, he was going to help her.

“Let me see,” Bucky ordered.

Y/N slowly turned to him to allow him access to her shoulder. Bucky delicately lifted the cloth off her body to have a closer look. She yelped out in pain when his metal fingers got in contact with her skin, palpating her shoulder to understand what was going on.

"Dislocation." Y/N stated, already fully aware of what he just had deduced and of what he was about to do. "Please do it quickly," she whispered.

Bucky nodded and abruptly pulled on her right arm in a certain direction. The sound of her arm bone getting back in the joint made Alpine hiss; the sound was as uncomfortable to hear as it must have been for her to feel. In the contrary, Y/N did not make any sound; her left hand was gripped on his right arm, nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were still closed, and her eyelashes were wet. Whatever the amount of Vodka she had drunk it obviously had not been enough for her not to feel the pain. Bucky wished he could have taken it all away for her and cursed himself for not having any painkiller in his damn apartment. It had been a long time since he had felt any physical pain; all he felt now was brief discomfort whenever he would get injured thanks to the serum in his veins, but he knew – he remembered, deep in his guts – what it was like, and he didn’t want anyone feeling that. Especially not her.

“I am sorry,” Bucky said, brushing tears off her cheeks with his metal fingers.

Her breaths were shaky and her breathing rate erratic, as Bucky slowly bent her elbow to have her arm rested against her chest. He was trying to be as gentle as possible while manipulating her arm, remembering his own memories of what happened to his own left arm. The same memories that sometimes still kept him awake at night, even after all those years.

When he looked back at her, her eyes opened to look at him in return. Bucky could see all the details of her iris and he realized how close he was standing from her. This was what he had stupidly craved for so long, to breathe the same air as she was, and that was how life gave it to him.

“I'll get you cleaned up and changed, okay?”

She nodded, releasing his arm from her hold. The idea of bringing her to the hospital had completely disappear from Bucky’s mind. He would take care of her himself, he knew this was the right thing to do, but he would still have 911 dialed on his phone, ready to call anyway.

Bucky started by getting back to his bedroom to pick from his closet a T-shirt and one of the few scarves he owned. When he got back into the bathroom, Y/N was standing against the sink counter and Alpine was sat on the counter just at her side, looking up at her, purring. Though it surprised him – Alpine wasn’t very fond of people just like he was, he noticed how the purring was calming Y/N down.

Bucky left his clothes on the next side of the counter and stood in front of her, wondering what he should do first. “I need to take it off,” he said, pointing to her shirt.

Y/N nodded again, and he started unbuttoning it. He discovered a lacy nude bra underneath, something he never thought he would see, but he purposely chose not to think about it and remove her left arm sleeve first; it was then easier to remove the right arm sleeve without moving her injured upper limb much.

She stood there, in her jeans and bra, looking up at him. She could have done something, but she just stayed still, letting him take care of her, like she knew he had done all those months when he was looking out for her. Though tonight, he clearly failed.

Bucky tried to ignore the fuzzy feeling in his chest by focusing on cleaning some dirt off her collar bone with another washcloth he had took from the cupboard underneath the sink. He then had a look at her cut on her stomach; the wound did not look as bad as he thought. Though it went from her right side to nearly the other side and Bucky knew it would leave a nasty scar once it had healed, it was mostly superficial. He gently cleaned it, removing the dry blood, and looked back at her. She nodded again, understanding without a single word was he wanted to do, and Bucky reached to the bottle of alcohol. She grimaced when he pressed a cotton pad soaked in the liquid to her skin.

After disinfecting her wound, he helped her put his T-shirt on and improvised a sling for her right arm with one of his scarves. He made sure not to tug on her hair when he tied the scarf around her shoulder, while she observed his every move in silence. Bucky smiled softly when he realized his T-shirt was way too big for her. Even looking like terrible, she was still looking cute.

Once he was done with the sling, Bucky moved to the lower part of her body. He squatted down, to remove her shoes and unbutton her jeans. Before getting her pants off, he needed to remove the tourniquet. He silently prayed all the gods in the universe to not make her bleed out and it seemed for once, they had listened. By some kinds of miracle, the gunshot wound was not bleeding anymore so he continued and slowly removed her pants. Shivers run through her body at the contact of his fingers on her skin.

Bucky repeated the same actions as he did for the wound on her stomach: cleaning and disinfecting. Thankfully the bullet had gone straight through her outer thigh and didn’t touch any artery. She got lucky, a few millimeters down and it would have shattered her knee. The hole was quite big, and it would probably require stitches to heal properly, but for now, he would leave it in the open air.

Once he was done, Bucky got up to face Y/N again. She was now standing there in her underwear and his oversized black T-shirt. “Thank you.” Was all she could say.

Bucky softly looked back at her. “I’ll get you lay down, okay? You need to rest.”

She nodded again and took the hand he was offering her for support. He helped her walk to his bed, Alpine following close behind. Y/N was limping as she couldn’t let too much of her weight resting on her left leg. It took her a good three minutes to walk a total of six steps, and Bucky reallywondered how she had made it to his place. He made her sit on the end of the bed, while he removed the comforter for her to lie down.

“Did you hit your head?” She looked at him confused, instinctively touching her face as if it was going to help her understand what he was talking about.

“I need to know if you have a head trauma,” Bucky said before helping her move to the spot he had prepared for her.

“I can recall all the potato chips flavors you have in your kitchen cupboard – who even eats salt and vinegar chips?” She laughed at him slowly as he lifted her legs off the floor and put them under the comforter. When he looked at her and she saw the concern still on his face, she insisted: “I am fine.”

“Alright, missy,” he mocked her in return, putting the comforter up to her chest, carefully of not touching her right arm. “For your information, salt and vinegar flavor is the best chips flavor.” She chuckled in response, settling more comfortably into his bed, and smiled as Alpine lie down on the other pillow next to her. Short after, she was closing her eyes and falling asleep.

For a couple of hours, Bucky stayed there, sat against his nightstand, listening to Y/N’s breathing, and making sure she was still alive. She had not moved one muscle, caught up in one of those dreamless sleeps he always wished for before falling asleep. He should have tried to get some sleep too, but instead he couldn’t stop thinking. How had Tom known? Y/N was right, Tom hadn’t suspected a thing and nothing unusual had happened these past few days. Y/N and Tom were preparing for their first super-soldier serum delivery and Bucky and the team had been busy preparing their good haul – the grand finale as Macro was calling it. There was no way Tom would have discovered the truth on his own; someone must have told him. But who?

A sharp knock on his front door brought him back to reality. His breath caught up in his throat and he looked at Y/N, just to make sure she was still asleep. Alpine, in the other hand, was now wide awake, listening carefully to what was going on. Another knock on the door and Bucky slowly got up.

"You keep an eye on her," he ordered Alpine in a whisper. The cat only blinked at him in return.

Another knock on the door. Bucky removed slowly and as silently as he could the safety lock of his gun, ready to shoot. When he got to the door, he cleared his throat, trying to sound as normal as possible. “Who is it?”

There was some talking that Bucky couldn’t really understand through the door as the sound was muffled. It took a few seconds to realize who that was, put the safety lock on his gun again and open the door.

“Sam?”

His partner, Sam, entered the apartment as soon as Bucky opened the door, shouting: “Can’t you answer your damn phone! I’ve been trying to reach you all night.” Sam thrown, looking at Bucky, with a gun in his hands, who was checking the rest of the floor to make sure Sam was alone. “What are you doing?”

Bucky locked the door behind them and moved past Sam to open the bedroom door, showing him the person still fast asleep in his bed.

“Oh, thank god.”

Sam’s face lighted up when he saw Y/N asleep in his friend’s bed. He moved closer to the bed, eyeing her to assess her injuries and making sure she was alive. Alpine got up to greet him and Sam offered some strokes to say hello. When he was done, he got back to Bucky at the bedroom doorstep and Alpine laid down near Y/N again.

“How did you get her?”

“She was there when I got back. I had to clean her up with Vodka and I didn’t even have any band-aids and-”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Sam put a hand to his friend’s shoulder, trying to ground him in the present moment and stop the wave of panic that was starting to shake him. Bucky took a deep breath, nodding. “She is alive, that’s all that matters.”

#jbb #lea's writing #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes one shot #marvel one shot #mcu oneshot

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kjack89 · 3 years

Text

Conversation Starter

Just a little modern AU E/R fluff for your Saturday evening enjoyment.

It was like every single cliché had come to life: Enjolras’s palms were sweating, his knees were wobbling slightly, and it felt like his stomach had vacated his abdomen and taken refuge somewhere around his ankles. And all because he was walking down the street towards Grantaire so that they could go on their first date.

Honestly, it was hard to gauge whether it was the Grantaire part or the date part that had Enjolras feeling like a middle schooler again, and his mouth went dry as he finally reached Grantaire, who turned and looked expectantly at him with that little smile on his face. “Hey,” Enjolras managed, and Grantaire’s eyebrows rose.

“That’s really what you’re going with?” he said in lieu of a greeting, and Enjolras stared at him.

“Excuse me?”

Grantaire shook his head with something like disapproval. “Just...hey,” he repeated, slightly incredulous.

Enjolras’s brow furrowed. “If you’re about to make a ‘hey’s for horses’ joke…”

Grantaire barked a laugh and shook his head. “I promise you, I am not.” He squinted slightly at Enjolras as if just seeing him for the first time. Which was patently absurd, since they’d been friends for years and sleeping together for, well, awhile, and besides— “Just trying to figure out why you sound like every a-hole who’s ever slid into my DMs.”

Enjolras gaped at him. “I—what?” he managed, his voice sounding mangled to his own ears.

“I mean, here you are, this great orator, and the best you can muster for the opening line of our first official date is hey.” Grantaire shrugged. “I guess I just expected more, that’s all.”

The nerves that Enjolras had been feeling earlier had long since disappeared, replaced almost entirely by something like pure rage. “Well, I’m sorry,” he said frostily, “how do you like to start a conversation, since you’re clearly such an expert?”

Grantaire grinned, and the sight took Enjolras aback almost as much as the entire conversation to that point had. “Oh, I don’t,” he assured Enjolras, who just stared at him. “I let other people start the conversation so that I can mock them for their opening, thus establishing the tone for the rest of the evening.”

He sounded abominably smug, and Enjolras’s had to work to wrench his mouth open to splutter a response. “And has that ever worked for you?”

“Well, you haven’t left yet, so.” Grantaire had the gall to actually wink at Enjolras. “Ask me again at the end of the evening.” He paused, his smile softening, just slightly. “Besides, you’re not nervous anymore, right?”

Enjolras blinked. “Who told you that I was nervous?” he asked defensively, and when Grantaire just gave him a look, he managed a light laugh. “Ok, fine, I was.”

“And?” Grantaire prompted.

“And what?”

“And are you still nervous?”

Of course he wasn’t. Which had probably been the whole entire point, and Enjolras just shook his head slowly. “You really are an asshole,” he said, with no small amount of affection. “You know that, right?”

Grantaire grinned before leaning in and pressing a swift kiss to the corner of Enjolras’s mouth. “Maybe,” he said. “But like I noted before, you haven’t left yet. So I must be doing something right.”

Enjolras shook his head again, but when he took Grantaire’s hand, his palm wasn’t sweaty anymore. “So it would seem.”

----------

“We need to talk.”

Enjolras had to raise his voice slightly be heard over the general hubbub of the back room of the Musain, which ended up being a mistake, since as soon as he said it, almost all conversation ceased. Or at least, that’s what it felt like, which made his attempt to get Grantaire’s attention so that they could talk seem kind of pathetic.

Or something.

Grantaire’s expression was unreadable as he stood and jerked his head towards the door, walking out without waiting to see if Enjolras was following him. Enjolras, of course, did, and not just because everyone seemed to be staring at him.

He followed Grantaire outside to the alley and watched as Grantaire stopped and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at Enjolras with that same unreadable smile. “Well?” he said impatiently, and Enjolras blinked.

“Well, what?”

Grantaire arched an eyebrow. “You said we need to talk, so...talk.”

Enjolras eyed him warily, trying to figure out why Grantaire’s tone was suddenly so cold, certain he was stepping on to a landmine. “Now I’m not sure I want to.”

“Why not?”

Enjolras gave him a look. “Because you’re looking at me like you’re about to start swinging.”

Grantaire rolled his eyes. “I would never use physical violence against you,” he said dismissively, which Enjolras almost would’ve taken as sweet if it weren’t for the fact that, in that moment, he wasn’t entirely sure he meant it.

But whether Grantaire meant it or not, Enjolras figured he might as well try to use it to lighten the mood. “The scratches on my back would say otherwise.”

For one brief moment, it almost looked like Grantaire was smiling.

Almost.

“I would never use physical violence against you without your repeated and extremely enthusiastic consent,” Grantaire amended, a little impatiently. “But that’s not really the point.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No, the point is, if you’re going to break up with me, I’d really appreciate it if you just got it over with.”

Grantaire said the words flatly, so much so that it took Enjolras a moment to even realize what he’d said. “If I’m going to...what?”

“Break up with me,” Grantaire repeated slowly, as if Enjolras was dumb, or hard of hearing.

Which rankled Enjolras more than a little, seeing as how he was neither, and yet still had absolutely no idea what Grantaire was talking about. “Why in the hell do you think that I’m about to break up with you?”

Now Grantaire was looking at him as if he was dumb. “Because you said we need to talk,” he said, as if that was any kind of an answer.

Enjolras stared blankly at him. “Yeah, because we do,” he said. “I wanted to see if you’d mind if we pushed our flights for Thanksgiving until later in the evening.”

Grantaire’s eyes fluttered closed. “Are you serious?” he asked, and Enjolras nodded, even though Grantaire’s eyes were still closed. “And you chose to broach that topic with, we need to talk?”

“I’m genuinely not seeing what I did wrong here,” Enjolras said.

Grantaire opened his eyes. “Is it possible that you were dropped on your head as a child?”

“Grantaire—”

“No I’m serious, it would explain a helluva lot.”

Enjolras cleared his throat. “Grantaire, there’s no need for ableist jokes.”

“Fine,” Grantaire said. “But do you honestly think that changing our Thanksgiving flights merit that kind of an introduction?”

“Actually, yeah, I do,” Enjolras said sharply, and Grantaire looked taken aback. “We’re flying to your parents’ house for me to meet them as your boyfriend. It’s kind of a big deal, and I wanted to talk about it because I didn’t want you to think that I was trying to get out of it. “

He said all of this in one breath, and Grantaire looked even more taken aback than before. “Oh,” he managed, his voice small.

“Because, for the record, I’m not,” Enjolras added helpfully. “I just have a meeting that got pushed to that afternoon.”

“Ok.”

Enjolras looked at him and took a deep breath before telling him, “I know that I don’t always go about things the right way. I don’t say the right thing, I don’t act the way I’m supposed to, I’ve never been very good at this. But I’m trying, because I...:” He trailed off, blushing slightly. “Well, because I love you. And I’m in this. And I just thought you should know that.”

Grantaire was staring up at him as if he had never quite seen him before. Then he sighed heavily. “Well God fucking damn it.”

Enjolras frowned. “What?”

“You were right.”

“About…?” Enjolras prompted.

Grantaire smiled at him, all his anger from before seemingly vanished. “We actually did need to talk,” he said, and he took a step forward to lace his fingers with Enjolras’s. “And I’m really fucking glad we did, because I love you, too.”

Enjolras grinned. “Good,” he said, bending down to kiss him.

Grantaire kissed him for a moment before pulling back. “But you’ve really got to work on your conversation starters.”

Enjolras just laughed. “I will certainly try.”

----------

“Are you mad at me?” Enjolras asked, the first words either had said in each other in several hours, which probably explained why the words seemed to hang between them as Grantaire studiously avoided looking at him.

“I’m sure I have no idea what would give you that impression,” Grantaire said frostily.

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “Mostly the fact that you’ve been giving me the silent treatment and keep glaring at me,” he said sourly.

Grantaire gave him one of those selfsame glares. “That was a rhetorical question.”

“Well, are you going to tell me why you’re mad at me, or would you prefer that I play twenty questions to guess the answer?” Enjolras asked, as pleasantly as he could manage considering that he was considering throttling his boyfriend, whom he loved, with his bare hands.

“I don’t know, you were doing so well with charades,” Grantaire shot back.

Enjolras sighed and counted to ten in his head before asking, “Can you be serious for, like, thirty seconds?”

“I am being serious,” Grantaire snapped. “And I’m not the moron who started this conversation with ‘are you mad at me’ when the answer was an obvious fucking yes.”

Enjolras rolled his eyes so hard he instantly gave himself a headache. Though that could possibly also be attributed to the banality of this entire conversation. “So now you’re mad at me for how I chose to broach this conversation?”

Grantaire just shrugged. “It’s one of many reasons, yes.”

“And again, am I going to have to guess the other ones?” Grantaire shrugged again and Enjolras sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, and I’m not just saying that because I want this fight or argument or whatever to be over, because you know as well as I do that I love to fight.” Grantaire nodded in agreement, which Enjolras took as a slightly optimistic sign. “But I also love you, and this doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a fun fight for either of us.”

Almost as if against his own will, Grantaire looked over at him, a small smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. “And what does a fun fight look like?”

Enjolras smiled slightly, turning to face Grantaire, reaching out to hook his fingers through the belt loops of Grantaire’s jeans to tug him closer. “Well, it usually ends with one or both of us naked.”

“Ah,” Grantaire said, reaching up to rest his hands lightly against Enjolras’s chest and tilting his head up slightly. “Yeah, I like those fights.”

“I had a hunch,” Enjolras murmured, bending his head so that his lips just brushed against Grantaire’s. Then he took a step back, and Grantaire let out a small noise that sounded suspiciously like a whimper. “But this seems like it’s something serious, so if you’d rather we discuss whatever’s going on…”

“I never said that,” Grantaire said breathlessly. “You were the one who brought it up.”

“Did I?” Enjolras murmured, pulling Grantaire close again. “Well that was stupid of me.”

Grantaire kissed him lightly. “So stupid.” He reached up to brush a blond curl out of Enjolras’s eyes. “I really do like these kinds of fights.”

Enjolras laughed. “So do I,” he said, bending down to kiss Grantaire once more. “In no small part because it’s like we get to fight and make up all at the same time.” Grantaire murmured his agreement and Enjolras added, “I mean, do you even remember why you were mad at me?”

Grantaire’s expression soured and he gave Enjolras a look before kissing him again, a little more forcefully this time. “Maybe not so much with the conversation right now.”

Enjolras’s answering laugh was captured by Grantaire’s mouth. “Fair enough.”

----------

“You know that I love you, right?”

Enjolras said it casually, almost offhandedly, and it took him a moment to realize that Grantaire had stopped walking. “What did you do?” Grantaire asked, and Enjolras looked blankly at him.

“What did I do about what?” he asked.

Grantaire gave him a look. “To make you say that,” he said impatiently. “You had to have done something.”

Enjolras stared at him. “I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Grantaire let out a weary sigh before telling Enjolras slowly, “You chose to start the conversation—”

“Oh my God,” Enjolras groaned. “Not this again.”

Grantaire refused to be deterred. “You chose to start the conversation with ‘you know that I love you, right’.”

“Yes, I did,’ Enjolras said, because there was really no use in denying it.

“Which therefore implies that there is some kind of reason I should have for doubting that you love me,” Grantaire told him.

Enjolras stared at him. “That is one helluva leap in logic.”

Grantaire rolled his eyes, clearly unamused. “If it is, then once again, you and I need to have a conversation about your word choices.”

“Maybe so, but do you think it can wait?”

Grantaire threw his hands up in the air. “Sure, we’ll just table it and let me have a heart attack everytime you start a damn conversation!” he half-shouted, and he stalked a few paces away. “I mean, you really think this is something we should wait on?”

“Actually, yes,” Enjolras said, pulling a small, gray box from his pocket. “Because I kind of have something else that I wanted to talk about.”

Grantaire huffed a sigh. “Like—”

Enjolras got down on one knee just as Grantaire turned around. “Like this.”

Grantaire stared at him. “Oh my God,” he whispered.

“Grantaire, I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Enjolras said simply, unable to stop his stupid, lovesick grin. “Will you marry me?”

Grantaire was still staring at him. “Are you...are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Enjolras arched an eyebrow, though his grin didn’t once waver. “Is that a no?”

Grantaire spluttered incoherently. “Is that a – you fucking – is that a – get up here and kiss me, you asshole.” He grabbed the front of Enjolras’s shirt and pulled him up to kiss him, cradling Enjolras’s face in his hands. “Yes, of course I will marry you, but for fuck’s sake, that is not how you start a proposal!”

Enjolras laughed breathlessly. “I’ll keep that in mind for the next time I propose.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Grantaire told him, beaming as Enjolras slid the ring on to his finger. “You’re stuck with me now.”

Enjolras kissed him again. “And you’re stuck with me and my many failures at being a conversationalist, apparently.”

“Yeah,” Grantaire said happily. “You bet your ass I am.” He kissed Enjolras once more before looping his arms around Enjolras’s neck. “Just promise me something, ok?”

“Anything,” Enjolras said instantly.

“For the love of fucking God, please do not start your vows with ‘you know I love you, right’.”

Enjolras laughed. “I promise.”

“Good,” Grantaire said, before telling him, “and for the record, I do know, and I love you, too.”

Enjolras’s expression softened, and he kissed him once again. “I know.”

----------

“Hey,” Grantaire said tiredly, pausing to lean down and kiss the top of Enjolras’s head before plopping down next to him on the couch.

Enjolras shifted automatically so that Grantaire could lean against his shoulder. “You know, once upon a time, you told me not to start a conversation with ‘hey’.”

Grantaire yawned widely. “And I stand by that statement.”

“But now it’s ok when you do it?”

Enjolras couldn’t see him, but he could feel the movement of Grantaire rolling his eyes at him. “There’s a difference.”

Enjolras set his phone down. “Ok, so then explain the difference to me.”

Grantaire sat upright and turned to face him, his expression suddenly earnest. “The difference is that I’m not starting a conversation.”

Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “Well seeing as how we weren’t talking just a few minutes ago, and now we are, I’m not sure how else you would qualify that.”

Grantaire smiled slightly. “You’re forgetting one important thing.”

“And what’s that?” Enjolras asked.

“We’re married.”

As this was not a recent development, Enjolras just stared at him. “Ok...and?”

“And this is it,” Grantaire said simply. “This is the rest of our lives. Just one big conversation that may pause every now and then, but it’s not gonna be over until the end, which means there’s never a need to start it up again.”

Enjolras couldn’t stop himself as he leaned in to kiss Grantaire, though he pulled back just enough to inform him, “You just don’t want to admit that you were an ass about saying hey to start a conversation.”

Grantaire laughed lightly. “Maybe.” He kissed Enjolras once more. “But, uh, you know I love you, right?”

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “Hilarious,” he said dryly.

“I know,” Grantaire said, his smile soft. “Thank God you’re stuck with me.”

“Yeah,” Enjolras said, kissing his forehead. “Thank God for that.”

#exr #enjolras x grantaire #enjoltaire #enjolras #grantaire #fanfiction #les miserables #modern au #established relationship #fluff

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aggressive-positivity-network · 3 years

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Okay, so you said I could send an ask for headcanons about the childhoods of some specific merc(s)... I think I would really like to read your headcanons about Soldier’s and Engineer’s childhood :)

Thanks in advance and I hope your well.

Ooooh…I’ve been waiting for this! And thank you for being specific and not just saying “the rest of them.” Sometimes I get overwhelmed with nine specific mercs to write for. Your specifics are much appreciated.

****************

Soldier:

Soldier doesn’t talk very much about his childhood - whether it’s because something happened or he just doesn’t remember it, no one can tell. It’s nowhere in his file, either…he refused to do anything except tell fantastic tales of a fictional youth.

However, in a rare streak of almost lucidity, he spouted off the entirety of his younger years, much to the team’s surprise. Usually, if anyone asked directly, he changed the subject.

But now he described everything in vivid detail. And, with a bit of research from Miss Pauling, everything fell into place.

Apparently he had been born in a small military town in Georgia. His father was overseas, leaving he and his mother alone in their small yellow house.

In order to make ends meet, his mother worked at a nearby factory, mostly leaving Soldier to fend for himself and the house.

“Can you be a big, strong soldier like daddy for me?”

Soldier would always agree, finding his own food, his own entertainment, and his own friends. No matter what happened, he never bothered his mom. If anything, his job was to protect her.

That’s why, when his stomach started hurting and his arms and legs ached, he said nothing about it.

When he forgot the chores he was supposed to do and even the names of his friends, he didn’t bring it up.

When he felt tired all the time and some days could barely get out of bed, he just chalked it up to laziness like his mother did.

It turns out the factory they were next to was polluting the water next to the house with dangerous amounts of lead, which soon overcame Soldier’s immune system of steel.

He could barely remember anything anymore, and he became more and more distraught every day. Sometimes he would forget where he was and run outside, then get lost in the woods, only coming back once he remembered where he was supposed to be.

Soldier began to wear one of his father’s old helmets after his mom commented on his red eyes and the dark circles around them. He didn’t want to worry her. Besides, it helped bring back a few memories if he ever got lost again.

Finally, it got to the point where he didn’t even remember his mother, or his promise to her. He began to wander farther and farther away from home.

One day, he didn’t come back at all.

Out in the world with not a single memory to his name, Soldier wandered far and wide. He usually slept in barns and old, abandoned houses, cut off from most people.

Occasionally, he would find a family that wanted to “raise him as their own,” only to turn him away after finding him too difficult to care for.

He had frequent nightmares, ate little due to his unresolved stomach issues, and could barely walk ten feet without forgetting where he was going.

If he accidentally wandered into the same house twice, he would be chased out with either a broom or a gun - usually the latter.

He became “the demon child” in some counties, and “g*psy kid” in others, due to his long, unkempt hair, hidden eyes, and odd habits.

It even got to the point where Soldier couldn’t sleep on anyone’s property because he would be actively fought off like a wolf or a bear.

His only pleasure was an old movie theater that, as he recovered from his lead poisoning, remembered the location of and frequently snuck into.

The only thing that played were romance movies - which, like many children, Soldier hated - and war movies, which he watched over and over again with starving eyes.

Because of these movies, a single memory from his mother’s house came to him. A woman, tall and muscular from hard labor, giving him a shiny badge to hold, asking him to be a strong soldier like his father.

And thus began his life-long dream of becoming a military officer.

He trained according to what he knew from the films…which was mostly running, doing jumping jacks, and occasionally rolling around in the mud.

This only served to distance him further from his fellow human beings, but he didn’t care. Soldier had a mission, and he was going to do it well.

But the biggest change was his hair.

He had started cutting it off with sharpened rocks, but he was always saving up coins he found for a “proper army cut.”

Finally, he had quite the collection in a dirty mason jar, and marched into the barber shop in his town to ask for a haircut.

The manager was appalled, and at first refused, but Soldier stood his ground.

“Civilian, I’ll have you know that by denying a soldier with a haircut, you are denying America one of its best fighters! I can’t curdle the enemy’s blood looking like a hippie!”

After a short yelling match that, of course, Soldier won, the manager decided it would be in his best interest to comply.

He walked out of that shop with no hair on his head, but a huge grin on his face. Next stop, the ranks.

Soldier went from draft office to draft office, applying for and being denied entrance to the army for his obvious lack of mental stability.

This is when the personal retelling ended, since Soldier became very upset by the memory of his recruitment failures, but Miss Pauling concluded that he just bounced from state to state until Mann Co. found him, quote, “sitting in an alleyway, eating army draft paperwork while sobbing uncontrollably.”

Engineer:

Engineer also never really talks about his childhood, but both Medic and Spy (Spy knows everything about everyone on the team) know that’s for a good reason.

He grew up in a trailer community near an almost ghost town in Texas.

His father was an abusive car mechanic with a mean streak a mile wide and a shop full of failed inventions. His mother wasn’t any better - she was bitter and reclusive, only really coming out of her room to pick a fight with her husband.

However, what Engie lacked in family, he more than made up for in friends.

He had a rag-tag, Rugrats-esque team of pals from all walks of life: Rhapsody, the daughter of a struggling porn star; Tom, the son of two farmers wiped out by blight; Cici, an adopted girl that could barely walk into her trailer without a black eye and a string of slurs; Quinn, the nervous child of a single mother that serves as guidance to the other kids; And Fred, who didn’t seem to have any family, but had become a greaser big brother to all of them.

Together, they explored the desert near the trailer park, pooled their resources to feed and support each other, and used their individual strengths to get through each day.

Engineer, whom everyone affectionately called “Big Dell,” snuck parts from his dad’s workshop for his own creations.

By the time he was twelve, he could make a small, running engine for the soapbox cars his friends frequently raced.

No toy, piece of clothing, glasses, or tool was out of his line of expertise.

One day, though, upon finding that some of his parts were missing, Engineer’s dad gave him a terrible beating that broke a few of his fingers and left a huge gash near his eye.

Since then, he refused to fix, make, or even touch a tool.

He wouldn’t tell anyone what happened, but they could make a pretty good guess, since they knew where the scraps and parts had come from.

The whole group was furious with Engineer’s dad - their Big Dell was funny, smart, and was more loving than every family member they had combined. Even Quinn was red in the face.

They wanted to break into his dad’s workshop and destroy all of his inventions, just to teach him a lesson, but they knew Engineer would take the fall for it.

Instead, they rummaged through trash cans, searched their toy chests, and looked under their trailers to find things Engineer could use.

They waited until his birthday to unveil the massive pile of supplies they had stowed away.

Engineer immediately dropped to his knees and began to cry, and everyone else dogpiled him for a huge hug.

As the creme de la creme, they gave him a pair of welding goggles - the same welding goggles he wears to this day, having modified them so they still fit his growing body.

With his healed fingers and renewed spirit, he made each of them a gift: a toy car for Rhapsody, a skull ring for Fred, a full set of candle wax crayons for Cici, a chewable necklace for Quinn so they wouldn’t chew on their collar, and a mini-planter for Tom.

But Engineer was given the greatest gift - confidence in his own abilities and that he can be and was appreciated for more than his services.

This gave him the drive to build bigger and better things, which his friends happily assisted in creating.

Engie’s best memories are with that motley crew of scrawny, beaten-up kids.

But, as he became a teenager, the abuse grew worse by the day.

He was often kept in his dad’s garage to fix cars in sweltering heat and with nothing to show for his work except threats of what would happen if a customer complained.

His mother finally grew bitter enough to pick on him, wondering aloud and pointedly if she had made a mistake by having him, then immediately contradict herself by wailing in his arms about how she’s the most awful mother in the world, and how she would be gone soon, and then nobody would have to deal with her anymore.

Engie grew more and more distant from his friends as they either moved out, ran away, or, in Rhapsody’s case, died.

He thought of just shutting the garage door and turning on a car a couple times, but he would always return to his memories of the hidden cave of goodies his friends had collected or the many inventions they had helped him build.

It just wasn’t worth it.

On a night when his depression and self-doubt was especially bad, he decided to build a personal invention for the first time in years - a small, robotic chicken made out of bent gears and empty oil cans.

He worked on it for a few weeks, but made the mistake of leaving it on a work table once it was finished.

Engie came to work the next morning with his dad ready to chew him out. But, before any finger could be lifted against his son, he was interrupted by a sweet older couple that was having their tires replaced.

“Now, Ethan, ain’t that just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life?”

“Hm?”

“That there chicken statue over there! It looks like it could very well get up and start peckin’ for worms, don’tcha think?”

Engie looked at the couple, then at his dad, then at his chicken. He slowly lifted it from the table and turned the key.

It started to slowly lean forward, then took a few steps on it’s long, spring-loaded legs. The neck went down, and the chicken’s rusty beak began to scrape at the pavement.

Now he had the husband’s attention.

“Didja build that yourself, son, or did your daddy help ya?”

Engineer looked at his dad for a split second before answering.

“My own sweat ‘n blood, sir. My daddy says I should stop wastin’ time on ugly thing-a-ma-jigs an’ put my hands to somethin’ worth doin’.”

The man smiled. “Well, this ‘ugly thing-a-ma-jig’ shows real skill. We could use somebody like you, once we train you up a bit.”

“Now hold on a damn - !” his father interjected, but was silenced with a cold stare.

“We’ll put ya through a state-of-the-art school, then put ya straight inta the work force. You can build whatever you like…and you’ll have a lot better materials than rusty tin. Whaddaya say, son?”

Engineer just nodded, and the man grabbed his hand and shook it.

“We’ll keep in touch.”

Engineer left that trailer park at age seventeen, leaving his fuming father and drunken mother behind.

He only stopped to visit Rhapsody’s grave before embarking on his new life.

There is still a stone plate with a message carved into it next to the headstone. If you brush off the leaves and dig out the moss, you can see Engie’s parting words:

“A friendship with you and the rest of the gang is the greatest thing I ever built. -Big Dell”

#tf2 #tf2 fandom #tf2 ask blog #tf2 headcanon #tf2 headcanons #tf2 engineer #engineer tf2 #tf2 solly #send asks #ask blog #headcanon requests #lovely anon #thanks anon #thanks for the ask

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