#I have a lot of opinions about KO too but I'll leave it at that

[kairiscorner]

hellooo,musta po kayo??. is it ok if you could right one of those Filipino!reader but hobie? if you can,,, thank youu!!

HI ANON, OKAY LANG PO, SANA OKAY LANG PO RIN KAYO /pos :>> MAAAAAAN YES, PLEASE, hobie would be the nightmare of all conservative filo parents frfr YES LET'S DO THIS 🫂🫂🫂

hobie brown x filipino reader

ngl, i think he'd intimidate a lot of your family members into silence if you bring him over to family dinners or get-togethers LMAO. like just seeing this tall boy with a bunch of piercings and unconventional clothing for guys his age would, yes, earn him a lot of stares, but he'd also kind of intimidate those tryhard male cousins you might have (you know the type, the wanna get jowas and emo sadboys ueueue).

despite how hobie looks like, he's actually super friendly to all your relatives, he doesn't judge by how they look, in fact he doesn't judge, he observes and bases his opinions of them from there. he always has something nice to say to your relatives, even if they might have a lot of criticisms to say about him.

that's the other reason you got together with him, actually. even if you have a lot of negative things to say or think about yourself, or internalized bad thoughts about who you are or look like from your family or peers, he always has kinder words that you deserve to hear and will consistently inconsistently (through other words, actions, and gifts) remind you of who you, the amazingly wonderful individual who came into his life, really are all the time.

i think he'd also be a wonderful cook. if you were assigned to take care of cooking for your family, he'd wordlessly just saunter over to you by the kitchen, lean against the door frame of the kitchen like the rizz master that he is, raise his eyebrows, smirk, and ask you, "need any help, mahal ko?"

if you say yes, he'd get right to work, doing what you ask of him in the most unconventional ways possible. he'd chop vegetables and meat so freaking fast man, and in SUCH NEAT SLICES. if he were on rice cooking duty, he'd probably make rice with the kawali in the traditional way because he doesn't believe in rice cookers when he has two functional and capable hands, a kawali, a fire, and you to watch over him. and surprisingly, the rice he makes is FUCKING AMAZING, IT HAS FLAVOR?????? A REALLY GOOD ASS FLAVOR????? LIKE YEAH???????

after dinner, he'd do the cleaning up with you, even if your parents will insist upon him not to do anything because he's a guest.

"pasensya na po, tito at tita, pero hindi po ako naniniwala na porket ako'y isang bisita, i'll be leaving all the work to my beloved. cheers."

he'd be fluent in tagalog or your local dialect, and when he talks to you, he loves switching up his accent from the dialect you speak to speaking in a cockney accent in fluent british english chockful of slang.

OH AND IF YOU HAVE LOUD ASS NEIGHBORS WHO SING KARAOKE EVERY NIGHT, MOFO WOULD GET THE HELL UP, HOOK UP HIS ELECTRIC GUITAR, AND AS MUCH AS YOU TRY TO DISCOURAGE HIM, HE'LL JAM THE FUCK OUT AT THEM TO RETALIATE TOWARDS THEIR LOUD KARAOKE SESSIONS LMAO

he also lives, breathes, and is lato-latoing. like when he caught you playing with the toy, he got interested and made one for himself. it's much louder than the plastic lato-latos being sold, so it makes a lot of racket. he plays it in the spider society HQ when things are too quiet or boring, he just whips it out and brags about how you're the real lato-lato master, not him.

he lato-latos when miguel is chewing out the members of the spider society after a bad mission or someone did something to piss him off. OR EVEN WHEN MIGUEL'S JUST ANNOUNCING SOMETHING OR ISN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING, AS LONG AS MIGUEL IS THERE, HOBIE WILL LATO-LATO, THAT IS HIS ROUTINE (of inconsistency).

he loves opm rock bands. he listens to eraserheads, itchyworms, AND ASIN. BRO, HE'D COLLECT ASIN CDS AND LISTEN TO THEM WITH YOUUUUUU.

you'd tell him he could just listen to them on spotify or youtube, but he says, "nahhh, i don't believe in spotify or youtube," and just listen to music with you, one earphone in the other's ear as he holds you close :>>>

HE LISTENED TO LIGAYA BY ERASERHEADS, AND WHEN YOU CAME INTO THE ROOM AS HE WAS BLASTING IT, HE TOOK YOU BY THE HAND AND STARTED DANCING TO YOU AND SINGING ALONG TO THE LYRICS <333

he isn't really very big on tradition, but if you wanted, he'd bust out his skills at the acoustic guitar and in a good old fashioned loverboy manner, HARANA YOU TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM ALL OVER AGAIN <333

he has tried jollibee before per your request, and he liked it, but he made his own twist on it from food he's scrapped together that jollibee makes, and THUS HE SERVES YOU JOLLHOBIE. it tastes so good man fr, i'm a living witness.

i think the filipino foods he'd like a whole lot would be pork liempo, taho, leche flan, and halo-halo (the different kinds of ingredients in the halo-halo really makes me think of hobie bc of how versatile that dude is). but tbh, he doesn't really claim to have a favorite food, he just loves all the food you have to offer him and make him. YOUR VERSIONS OF LOCAL PINOY FOOD ARE HEAVENSENT TO HIM, HE EATS THEM UP SO QUICKLY AND CRAVES FOR MORE <333

he's super inconsistent, so it's not a surprise he'd call you all kinds of nicknames ;> like earth 42 miles, HE'D CALL YOU NICKNAMES FROM OTHER DIALECTS BC HE THINKS NO SINGULAR NICKNAME IS ENOUGH TO EXPRESS HOW DEAR YOU ARE TO HIM <333

he'd use multiple nicknames in one sentence when talking to you. "mahal, wanna go out tonight, pangga?", "aking sinta, i'd like to some attention right now, beh," "ang sarap ng lahat ng niluluto mo, mahal ko, i can't get enough of it, iniirog ko"

also if you had younger siblings or cousins, HE'D BE THEIR NUMBER ONE FAVE BABYSITTER. he lets them get away with a lot of things, but he never, ever endangers them. he promotes their learning and good behavior, but he doesn't teach them blind obedience.

if your younger siblings or cousins did the mano po to him, he'd appreciate it, but would rather prefer to be casual around them. but if it's in the kid's nature to do mano po, he'd let them do it all the time, he really respects your culture and wants to let you know that he loves it as a part of you, too.

a/n: in short, ginoong hobart brown is a green flag po <333

tags !! @thecoolerdor @k4tsu3 @luvstarrstruck @ii01vq @maxoloqy @pixqlsin

#hobie brown #hobie brown my beloved #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown x filipino reader #hobie brown x you #hobie brown x y/n #atsv imagines #atsv x filipino reader #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n

[dailyfigures]

(not the same anon) i only saw the anime (not the full thing cause i hated it), ill try to keep the points neutral/factual & not let my opinion/bias shine through too much. heres some of the stuff that happens (spoilers obviously): 1. main character, adult man, works as a doctor. one of his patients is 16 year old idol Ai. she is pregnant. mc is obsessed with her throughout the show. when asked by a colleague if he'd hook up with her if given a chance he says yes. 2. a patient of his (i dont know her age, early/mid teens) is in love with him. she dies. 3. the doctor mc is killed. he is 'reincarnated' as Ai's child, while keeping his past memories, along with the teen girl patient i mentioned in (2.), now named ruby. mc is now named aqua. they are twins now. they don't know each others former identities 4. Ai is killed, which further fuels aquas obsession with her (it seems to be romantic since i believe he mentions being in love with her, her being his 'ideal woman' etc) 5. several teenage girls are also in love with him (while his 'reincarnation' is their age, he has the full scope of his past memories, making him at least 30yo in lived experience), while he doesn't seem to reciprocate their feelings (up to the point i watched the show at least), it's not treated as something he's against due to them being teenagers, moreso that he's too preoccupied with searching for Ai's killer. that's about it, im sure theres more in the manga & bits i havent seen, i personally really dislike the show but i'd understand if you were to keep up the figurines as despite those themes no actual incest happens to my knowledge (correct me if wrong or forgot stuff!), some of the designs are pretty i guess

thank you for taking the time to explain it to me anon! i'm sure there's good parts to it since it's so popular but yeah it doesn't sound like it'd be for me personally either.

i do find it hard to judge media like this without having seen it. i'm a big horror fan so i watch a lot of media that features things you should very much Not do irl but that doesn't mean all horror is inherently problematic. sometimes media is just an exploration of something fucked up without explicitly stating "this is Bad!!! Do Not Do!!!!" because they trust the consumer to realise that on their own.

having said that, oshi no ko doesn't sound like a psychological piece that explores the morals of incest and adult-minor relationships to me (from what i understand without having seen/read it! do please correct me if i'm wrong!). it sounds like it's just kinda very weird without challenging those themes much.

again, it's hard to judge that without having consumed it. i think i'll just leave up the oshi no ko posts i have and not add any more. i might have some in the queue so i'll remove those if i remember to. hope everyone is somewhat okay with that decision!

#again thank you for your message anon!!! #ask #anon #non figure

[hraishin]

I'm writing a book

So, I've talked about this before but I've never really did anything to show my commitment to writing an original story. This particular story has been in my mind since 2017, when I wrote the first version of it. As you can imagine, six years can change a lot of things, including how you see a story you write and how you told that story. Now, six years later, I'm finally rewriting the story in a way I feel like it's worth to tell, with more meaning than the one I wrote when I was 17, going on 18, and hadn't even realized who I was yet. Now, I have the first chapter/prologue of that story ready and translated into english too, and I want to share it with others.

Keep it in mind that this is just the start and that things might change in the future, but I'm happy with how this looks for now, so, please, enjoy this if you want to give this little story I created a chance!

P.S.: The book is currently nameless, but I'll get to it (some day lmao) I'm also thinking about doing something with my ko-fi to give everyone an update on the story's progress and also to talk more about the characters (god knows I have a lot to talk about when it comes to my ocs haha)

Link to the story in Brazilian Portuguese (original language): X Link to the English translation: X Link to my ko-fi: X

And here's a sneak peek under the cut so you know what you're getting yourself into hehe:

The creature sits on the ground, the noise of chains echoing through the room with its movement. Its lips tremble, cracked and dry, while tears wet its cheeks. The sound that leaves its mouth is a quiet whimper, the sound of a child in fear, big green eyes staring at the only two figures that are standing a few feet from it. In the eyes of those who watch it cry, it doesn’t find pity, only weak curiosity; after all, the creature is crying, but it remains quiet. They expected more noise coming from a child.

“Daithi,” calls one of the figures. The creature follows the sound of their voice until green eyes find the ones of the woman who speaks. Stars shine inside them, a universe inside two orbs that look at it with indifference. “You haven’t given your opinion on the child yet.”

“And should I?” Says the other presence. The creature turns its eyes to him, finding eyes as black as the darkness of the night. Different from the woman’s, the man’s eyes find contempt. “It’s a freak, my lady. And to think that the blood of the Fae runs in her veins…”

The woman’s lips curve, some discomfort for the words said showing in her expression, as if she didn’t enjoy how the man spoke. Even so, the creature sees that she doesn’t disagree fully: the creature knows the woman sees her as a freak, although she doesn’t want to admit it so openly like the man by her side.

The stars in her eyes move with the movement of her face, and the creature forgets for a moment about the iron chains burning the skin of its ankles and wrists, admiring the woman in front of it. Star Eyes seems to soften with the look and clear admiration, even if just a little. Darkness Eyes notices, his expression turning even more serious.

“Lorell,” Darkness Eyes calls, and his voice demands attention. “This creature already lived more than it should. She’s six, your subordinate hid her for six years- It’s time to end this.”

The creature shakes. It is young, but it knows what’s happening — its mother wasn’t stupid, she knew what could happen if she was found out, and she warned a creature since it was very young. The tears fall a little stronger now on its face, chest moving quickly while its breathing grows. Green eyes turns to the stars in those judging eyes and make a silent wish: the creature wants to live.

“Do you have a name, child?” Asks Star Eyes.

For the first time the creature speaks, its voice shaking and failing due to the crying.

“Mace.”

“Mace,” repeats Star Eyes. She knows — the creature knows that she knows — that that’s not her true name. “And do you have any notion of what you are, Mace?”

#writing #oc stuff #syd rambles #original story

[beautifulsummersunsets]

About Idolish7... (If you are a fan of this anime, you better not read this because you won't like it) 🙃

I've given Idolish7 a second chance because on the internet, it's been getting a lot of hype, saying that it's not the typical idol anime, that it's not what it looks like, they compare it to Oshi no Ko, blah blah blah so I said to myself "Why not? Maybe this way I'll put aside my disgust for idol shows 🤷🏼‍♀️"

I mean, to be honest I love TsukiPro/Uta 💕 so how bad Idolish7 can be?

Well, I'm on S2 E7 and so far I can say that the whole anime is It's like running on a hamster wheel, always the same. These people, Idolish7, are like a toxic couple, they don't stop fighting and making up and the worst thing is that it's always for the same thing, they do not evolve or anything, they always end up upset for the same reasons over and over again 🤦🏼‍♀️

Of all the songs I've listened to, I still don't like even one, but I expected that, I don't like idol music, Tsukiuta/Pro is like a miracle, the exception to the rule in my case 😂 (Well, I admit that I also like Utapri's songs and I find them good 🤔 so there are 2 exceptions to the rule).

But the worst of all in my opinion and for the moment, are Tamaki and Riku, they need a couple of well given slaps 😒.

Tamaki behaves like a spoiled kindergarten kid, I mean, there's a limit to how egotistical one can be, don't you realize that you cause problems to the rest with such an unprofessional attitude? It's your job buddy! There are things you can and can't do and Riku… Ah Riku, this guy lives in his yuppie world, his idealism/happiness borders on the absurd, he looks like an abandoned puppy all the time "Tenn-ni doesn't recognize me" boy, snap out of it and leave your brother alone already 🙄 Is it that his character can't do anything that doesn't revolve around Kujo Tenn?

They just exhaust me, I swear to god all I7 members exhaust me.

Luckily for everyone there are 2 more groups 🙏🏻 I haven't seen too much of RE:Vale yet, so I can't give my opinion, but thank goodness, I thank heavens that Trigger exists because otherwise I would have shot myself by now because of how annoying Starish 2.0 are 😩

#sorry to the fans #but I needed to get it out of me #just my opinion so far #By the way how dare you compare it to Oshi no Ko? #they are as close as an egg to a chestnut

[animehouse-moe]

Oshi No Ko Volume 1: An Uncertain Prologue

So, Aka Akasaka's successor to Love Is War, in concert with Mengo Yokoyari as the artist for the series. There's a lot, a lot, a lot a lot to digest in this first volume, but I'll give potential readers a warning. Yes, your friends might have raved about this series, yes, the down the road picture might be completely different, and yes, it goes into detail with the entertainment industry.

However, this prologue is, something. It's a bit all over the place, it's the kind of backstory that needs to be experienced to be understood, and in a way it's the opposite of Love Is War, where Oshi No Ko is far more serious with comedic moments peppered in. It's... hard, to get behind without knowing where the future goes. It's incredibly radical and paints a totally different picture to what readers might expect (depending on their knowledge of it).

So, unless you're willing for a wild ride and are set on reading Oshi No Ko, I'd say hold off on purchasing physically. Read digitally, give it some time to stew and set in before you pull the trigger because I have a feeling that a lot of to-be-readers might not be looking for what this prologue goes into. So, with that in mind,

⚠️Warning: Spoilers Ahead⚠️

So, either you've read it and you're curious what I think, or you haven't and you're dying to know what's going on with this volume. Well, first off there's reincarnation, then there's murder, then there's a revenge plot, mixed all in between stardom and the entertainment industry.

It doesn't really get a chance to relax, and the stuff exterior to the entertainment industry feels extraneous to the core principle of the story. I understand the angle of the revenge plot, and trying to find the doctor, and by extension Ai's, killer, but it feels weird. Yes, murder sells far better, but given the focus on a candid entertainment industry would suicide/mental health not prove a stronger vehicle for the story?

Doing a little bit of thinking out loud, Ai's story could instead revolve around her struggles as a single mother attempting to make it in an entertainment industry where she never really even had a desire in the first place. Slipping further and further into it and its challenges before she enacts an untimely end. It would even work with Aqua and Ruby moving forward into the entertainment industry, in my opinion, as Aqua would still be the voice of reason while Ruby follows her mother's footsteps, missteps and all.

Maybe I'll be proven wrong in the first real (second actual) volume, but the prologue seems a bit removed from the overall focal point. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's like adding a few incredulous pieces to a story to make it unique, in my opinion. Time will tell how this decision plays out, but in the short term, it's somewhat jarring. I like Ruby and Aqua's characters, I like the insight into the entertainment industry, I like that stuff, but the prologue is just a little too out there for me to convince myself that this will be a great series.

I plan to be along for the ride regardless out of sheer curiosity and interested in the angle that they focus on as idols and actors, but how much it grips me overall truly depends on the direction that the present of the series appeals to readers with. It's certainly not bad, but it's definitely not a first volume that grabs readers and has them saying, "I want more". More than that, it leaves them puzzled, thinking, "What just happened? What's going on? What's the answer?". So in a way, it gets to that same question, but it's like asking somebody about something out of morbid curiosity, there's a piece of you that needs it satisfied no matter how base or unappetizing it ends up.

#oshi no ko #manga recommendation #manga review #aka akasaka #My Star #mengo yokoyari

[that-soccer-guru]

I agree with everything you're saying about the defensive transition and how Ali was already at the DM position before becoming a defender, but sonnett was also either a DM or an 8 before college. Not diminishing her game in any sense, I still think she's got one of the best shots at making the Olympics.

Also, yes, having forwards/middies plopped onto a backline sucks and the only example I can think of right now where it was beneficial was kelley o'hara, but even still she makes suspicious decisions

The way I understood it was that Sonnett left HS as a centermid and graduated as the school's leading scorer? Usually if you're in defense you score and assist some but not enough to lead the team. I could be wrong though. An 8 is still slightly more of an Offensive Mid than a defensive mid. In any case it's still a huge improvement to be remarkably good at being a defender now. I absolutely think her hard work will pay off and she'll be included in the Olympic roster. Honestly hard work and good work ethic plus skill should be rewarded. Vlatko would be an idiot not to bring her along and that is the hill I'll die on.

Now I know this isn't the point of your ask BUT this is my dumpster fire adhd hyperfocus land and I'll go about this too:

I would argue that KO's effectiveness (effectivity? What the fuck is the word I'm literally blanking) in defense has more to do with her power and speed than it does skill. Which ISN'T A BAD THING. She's not the first or the last defender to be good bc they're brick walls. Yes, she absolutely kills 8/10 games she plays in the back BUT you can't argue that she's way better up front than in the back, she's more naturally skilled at a forward game. Her Stanford career, time as a forward in SBFC and the odd times when she's subbed in up front prove that, though she does give the backline consistency, she's amazing when she's let to wreak havoc up front.

THAT BEING SAID, she is also a product of the sport in this goddamn country being so geared towards scoring and not towards being a complete fucking team that I think it's hindered her career. If she'd been a defender from the get go she would've been way more effective.

#The hills I chose to die on #Sonnett deserves a spot on the roster #She's killed it recently and her work ethic is amazing and if Vlatko gives her a shot and helps her develop she'll be amazing #I've always said it and I'll keep saying it. With some time and coaching Sonnett can be the backbone for the new backline #Becky and Ali will retire at some point #And Sonnett has the chops to lead the backline with Dahlkemper if they give her a chance to prove herself #MARK MY WORDS FUCKERS. VLATKO KNOWS WHATS UP. HE'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN #I have a lot of opinions about KO too but I'll leave it at that #woso #uswnt #emily sonnett #kelley o'hara #p: kelley o'hara #p: emily sonnett #t: uswnt #thanks anon #anon asks #answering asks #sonnett side up answers #It is MY dumpsterfire and I chose to hit you with more info than what you asked for

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Out of the animated shows you've watched, which do you consider having the best and the worst finales?

That's a difficult question. I haven't got a big list. For most of them I either haven't seen the finale, or it's far from the best episode.

Pokemon Sun and Moon had a really sweet finale, but it was a lot like the SU Future one, wherein you had Ash saying goodbye to everyone. Though I think it was far more emotional and hard earned than SU's version. But I think everyone agrees it was the best finale to a Pokemon series yet.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex - Season 1 had a phenomenal finale. 2nd gig also had an okay ending, the scene with the tachkoma will make you cry, but I liked it a lot less.

OK KO!'s finale was..... eh. In good spirits but not amazing. My favourite part was TKO's breakdown and KO playing the song, and them realising that... they were the same person. It is an important lesson to young viewers on processing your emotions!

Steven Universe had a terrible finale. Like, the only part of it I enjoy is when White is terrorizing them and Steven is split in two and dances back together. The entire finale, and the entire series, is built around that scene, but as a result, it's the only satisfying part.

Steven Universe Future had... um. I was not a fan of Kaiju Steven. And I think the episode that happened afterwards was the most vanilla milquetoast "leaving town" template ep I've ever seen. Sorry, I don't like Future. It did the characters I love dirty.

Star Vs. the Forces of Evil, which I assume is the show you're wondering about, had a finale that... wasn't the best. I don't think it's terrible, I enjoyed it, but the whole "magic getting destroyed" part is a bunch of nonsense. Return magic to the people, like in She-ra - don't annihilate it!

She-Ra had the best finale of the stuff on this list so far, but that's mostly because of the Catra/Adora/Shadow Weaver scenes. I also really loved the Entrapta and Hordak scenes, and the one Mara scene. All of these were satisfying and emotional!!! The rest of the finale is "eh", going through the motions, there's way too much of them stopping people with love, but it's a really good end to the show and these strong, focused moments - with lots of breathing room -more than make up for the worse parts.

Adventure Time had a wild finale, but compared to normal episodes of the show, it's middle of the road at best. Betty-tier, in my opinion. Far from AT's strongest. I do love some scenes but wish they'd been given more space.

Adventure Time: Distant Lands... I count "Together Again" as the finale. And jesus fucking christ. That has to be one of the most emotional things I've seen in my ding dang life. I'd say it annihilates nearly everything above. Though more for the start and ending scenes rather than the main content.

Gravity Falls is, well, I'll tell you once I finish rewatching it. I remember enjoying Weirdmageddon! But... I did not enjoy how quickly the “final problem” was resolved. I’d have preferred a more ambiguous, yet optimistic, ending here.  

Over the Garden Wall is simply a masterpiece.

Infinity Train doesn't really have a series finale, but I DO love the "Train to Nowhere" scene. The book 1 finale was also strong.

Samurai Jack had a random ep as the season 4 finale, then the adult swim season 5 came out over 10 years later. I was digging the AS version, until they started throwing in penis jokes and romance, and then I just.... got turned off, hardcore. The finale was dissatisfying for the obvious reasons of leaving the Future to get destroyed/erased, and Ashi's refridgerator death.

Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball Super all have wonderful finales (yes, unfortunately, episode 131 of Super is probably the series finale). They're not clever, but they're good fun. In DB, Goku becomes the strongest in the world and cheerfully rides away with Chi-Chi. In DBZ, there's a far more emotional scene, with Goku using the power of the world to defeat Buu. And asks Kami to reincarnate him! Then in End of Z, well, he kind of fucks off with Uub, which I guess is less satisfying, but is VERY Goku. And in Dragonball Super, the final ep is the climactic, massively engaging finale of the Tournament of Power, which was a rocky road, but god damn, there's a reason these episodes basically destroyed Brazil.

Hell, even Dragonball GT has an OK finale. I think it's GT Goku saying Goodbye to everyone before he runs off with Shenron. Has the SU Future issue of ending a terrible series with a "generic goodbye", but like, it's more true to the characters.

Anyway, that's the end of my opinions. I can't think of any more right now.

#i dont know what to tag this as #she ra #spop #adventure time #pokemon sun and moon

[colourful-void]

Supporting Satoshi - an examination and comparison of JN36 and XY121

Part One: Snowballs do not cure depression but it was worth a shot

You know that episode of Pokemon where a gym leader beats Satoshi in a battle so hard that one of his pokemon gets mildly hurt (though there's no long term effects) and because of it he becomes depressed, closing himself off from his friends before someone comes along to pull him out of that mental state, and also severe weather phenomena is involved and a reflection of a persons mental state? Or rather, the two episodes?

So when I was watching Journeys, I noticed an episode that had a similar-- but distinctly different-- plot to an xy episode I had seen before. And what was particularly interesting was that while I couldn't stand the xy episode, the journeys episode was one of my favourites. I won't drag this out for you guys, I love the journeys episode and re watch it a LOT and the xy episode sort of just leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth. and don't go claiming its solely ship bias, because i saw the xy episode first and disliked it then.

This will analyze both of these episodes, comparing them against each other. Specifically within the context of how Goh and Serena both help Satoshi through a similar situation There will be some discussion of AmourShipping and Satogou in this analysis. I'm going to be a bit negative regarding Serena's actions and the potential "romantic" weight of them here, but I want to be clear that I Do Not dislike Serena as a character. Personally, I wish the writers had given her more room to grow outside of her romantic interests, but I do not hate Serena as a character. I do, however, disagree with her actions in this episode. Please don't take this out of context and dont be ship fighting in the comments, it's boring. This is a comparison of These Two Episodes, not of Goh and Serena and their respective ships as a whole.

This part mainly focuses on the xy episode and the second will focus mainly on the journeys. It's only divided into parts because of the tumblr post limit.

(If you like the xy episode or hate the journeys episode, awesome! having your own opinions is great. these are mine though, so i hope you'll listen to them)

With that out of the way, let's start. And I'm going to use mostly japanese names here because I'm taking screencaps from the subbed japanese copies.

The set up for each of these episodes is eerily similar as pointed out in the gag at the start.

Xy has a bit more set up before the episode in question though, with the initial loss and retreat into the forest by Satoshi taking place the episode before. The episode opens up proper with Satoshi taking time to breathe to himself, alone in the forest.

Emphasis is placed on him taking a deep breath, aided by the visuals showing them (thanks cold air) and the silence of the rest of the soundscape, with the only other sounds being the wind and some bird pokemon, plus some falling snow.

Journeys Satoshi starts off in a better mental state than Xy, with the episode starting off with him jogging along with his pokemon.

However, we can still see that he's been affected by the last battle he lost, against Saitou, as he's putting a lot of effort into training and doing better.

Which, doesn't go well for him, as he loses his next two battles as well, and drops in the World Championship ranking as a result

And he's pretty upset about it too. Same thing as over in xy. In both cases, a respective friend/love interest notes that Satoshi is upset and expresses concern.

He's got support from his friends in both situations! But that support comes across in very different ways.

But, to understand how that support manages to affect Satoshi, we need to understand the problem at play.

Now, I wanna make something clear here. Satoshi's problem is not that he is a sore loser. I'm not arguing that's not a contributing factor, or that he's not upset about the loss (particularly in the world championships), He's still bitter about the lost part, but the root of the problem is not losing, he's been shown to be fine with losing (if not a bit more motivated to win now) in prior episodes.

Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt, because they're losing battles. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are losing battles because he's not training them well enough. And to clarify, that's not my viewpoint, it's his. Satoshi's problem is that he's not good enough for himself, and he feels that that's something he has to fix on his own.

So how do we help him?

Our weather event in question is introduced in separate points in the episodes, but I'll cover them both now.

In xy, it's this snowstorm, which conveniently becomes a problem directly after Serena returns to the Pokemon Centre.

In journeys, it's a sandstorm! That's in near direct contrast to a snowstorm! Incredible.

Heading back to xy Satoshi, things aren't going great in the forest. Luckily, Serena's run off to find him.

I think it's of note here that Serena runs off with the best intentions, she wants to help Satoshi, plain and simple. It just sort of goes wrong along the way.

It's worth noting that Xy Satoshi tries to bring himself out of being sad by the tried and true method of "stop being sad"

Despite telling himself this, he doesn't get anywhere. Which makes sense, because it's not getting the the root of the problem. It's not even addressing it at all. He's just trying to 'be better', which isn't even a battle strategy. However, it is something I can see him saying, so this isn't a critique of Satoshi's thought process, but me pointing out that this isn't really effective. Which is supported by the narrative, because again, he doesn't get anywhere, he doesn't even move.

I can't show it in screencaps but the lights in Satoshi's eyes are shaking here, something that they consistently do throughout the series when he's feeling a particularly strong emotion. Keep that in mind. It couples well with another trait of his, and that's his hat!

And by that I mean how he hides his eyes with the brim of it when upset, something he does exactly as Serena shows up and calls out to him. Now, he's not upset that Serena is here. He's upset about the pokemon stuff still. He's trying to hide the fact that he's upset from Serena.

Serena starts off with her speech well, trying to appeal to Satoshi to let her in and talk things out. And maybe it's because he wasn't ready for it yet, or because of the way she phrases it (a lot of 'i' and 'me' language which can be helpful but can also come across as though she's making it about her. not her intent i don't think, but a possible interpretation.), it's not her fault for how Satoshi reacts regardless.

But how Satoshi reacts is not good.

Now it's really interesting to note that before this, Serena was standing while Satoshi was sitting, putting her above him in terms of active power, when it comes to how the shot is presented, but when Satoshi stands up, the camera tilts with the movement so that they're on equal level. Neat!

And Serena yells in return, scolding Satoshi for not talking about it. Not the best move, since pushing someone to talk about something that's upsetting them isn't really productive, but she's trying here and she's frustrated.

Satoshi continues to withdraw and self isolate, claiming it is his problem and that he wants to be left be. Now, this is the mindset of a clearly upset person and isolation may not be the best option, but he did make the explicit request to be left alone here.

He's clearly upset as he turns away from Serena's eye and slumps over a little.

And then Serena throws a snowball at him.

Angry as he is, you can see Satoshi's expression change when he sees Serena's reaction.

Serena tells Satoshi that she's not like the Satoshi she knows, who is always full of energy and positive and a leader, and a bunch of other positive traits. The problem here, is that Serena's looking at an idealized version of Satoshi. And while the intent here was probably meant to be something more like "you have so many wonderful traits about you I know you can do this", coupled with the snowballs and the phrasing, it seems as though Serena is scolding Satoshi for being sad.

Or rather, being angry with him for not living up to her idealized version of him, and not wanting him to express any negitave emotions.

Which is sort of a really bad mindset.

The snowballs continue, never once does Satoshi fight back. In fact, he stops arguing entirely after the first one. Serena knocks him off his feet and tells him he's not being himself, before running off. (In the english dub, Serena claims that Satoshi isn't being "the real satoshi" and then demands that the real Satoshi be "given back", so it could be worse)

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up. Something like this just isn't like him. He's just gotta stop being sad!

Now personally, I really disagree with the idea that "being upset" isn't "like a person". That's because based off of my own experiences, I know it can be really damaging to hold the mindset that any negative emotions you feel aren't a part of you and that you shouldn't be upset because you're usually a positive and happy person. Not the case with every person, but I personally really have a problem with shows telling children that they just shouldn't be upset instead of processing their emotions in a meaningful way. (The journeys episode doesn't do an outstanding job of it either, but this is a bit of a tangent anyway. A show that does do this right is "OK KO! Let's be Heroes" which actually deals with this problem in greater depth and does a fantastic job of it.)

But the snowball scene ends here. Now I'll get back to Journeys in a moment, but since Serena has finished her part of the comparison for the most part, I'm going to summarize a bit more of the xy episode.

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up.

The snowstorm kicks in, Serena get back annoyed, then similarly groans and yells, and the whole xy gang + pokemon go running off in search of Satoshi. Pikachu appears the most concerned.

Now Serena tells the others she lost her cool and said something horrible to Satoshi, but explains its because Satoshi is someone she admires. Cool motive, I get it, still kinda bad.

and in the end, it's not Serena's words that get he message across to Satoshi. The solution to this problem was Satoshi finding a way to reaffirm his abilities and instinct.

In the xy episode, he helps some pokemon out of the tree, and when his very cool frog friend shows up, they're able to work together with their bond to save this one from falling off a cliff.

Here's the point. Satoshi learns by doing, by actions. He needs to see first hand that there are ways of getting past his problems, and that it's worth having the courage to keep going. The lesson is about valuing pokemon as equals and partners, and specifically that trying to be better as the trainer alone isn't going to help.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am and I'm not sleeping until this is finished so we gotta keep things moving.

This was no doubt Serena's intent to get a similar point, but she goes about it the wrong way. She tries to convey this with words, as conversation and motivational words have helped her in the past (Elle's words of praise stick with her, Satoshi's words from when they were kids, etc). It's a good idea, but their different ways of learning and growing from a similar situation are incompatible, and that's why things don't work out in Serena's favour. There's also still the problem of "pulling yourself together" not being helpful in this case.

There's also a very similar line in this scene to the one at the end of the journeys episode, as Satoshi says to his frog that they should start over from scratch. It's essentially the same phrase with different wording. It's great. The Storm ends as he realizes this as well! Wonderful in terms of pathetic fallacy.

The gang all reunites, its nice. Satoshi thanks Serena for what she said after apologizing to everyone, which contradicts what he said earlier but I've already established that I dislike this message here so I won't go over it too much. I guess he's right in a literal sense in that in response to her words he went and ran until he tripped off a cliff but the emotional growth here was because of his own actions (and the frogs), not Serena's. Sorry Serena, you'll get em next time.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am as I write this so we gotta keep things moving.

So. What about Goh?

Well...

(Part Two here on account of image limit!!)

#pokemon #anipoke #pokeani #pokemon analysis #pokemon xy #pokemon xyz #trainer ash #trainer serena #trainer goh #i dont wanna use the amourshipping tag to put negtivity in it that seems mean #analysis #this was written in the 2-3am area but the next part was written 12 hours later so thats a neat fact #long post

[lemony-snickers]

what r ur opinions on the whole tumblr plus thing?

are you sure you want this, anon? like, i know you asked for it, but i don't think you really understood the extent of what my answer would be, lol.

i'm sorry. but if you want to read my opinion, i'll put it below the cut.

thanks for stopping by, anon. i hope you're having a great day! <3

tl;dr: i think it's a terrible fucking idea.

then again, i accidentally doxxed my maiden name just last night trying to send someone a ko-fi by not double-checking my paypal settings, so idk, maybe my dumb ass would be better off if i could just support my content creators through tumblr instead.

but. that (my dumbassedry) is a separate issue, so let's move on.

listen.

i get it, okay? some people put a lot of work into the content they put on tumblr. and i very much understand the impetus to want to be compensated for that work. and tumblr feeding into that desire makes total sense from the standpoint of both their business model and the feedback i'm sure they've received from some of their top content creators.

i also think paywalls flying across your dash will eventually spell the death of this platform as we know it.

i've been on tumblr on and off before, but never really committed to it like i did this time. and one of the things i genuinely like about tumblr is that i'm not constantly being shown "sponsored content" and that i can access the information and content i want pretty freely.

i've definitely seen other people espouse this as a good thing, too; that there is certainly a more even playing field for content creators here than on instagram or twitter.

pay walls are exclusionary by nature and therefore i fucking hate them. (lookin' at you, news organizations...) what happens when someone really wants to support you but can't afford it? what happens when people get angry that they can no longer see and enjoy the content they've become accustomed to? do we really want to make tumblr the sort of place where your economic status determines which blogs you can interact with?

because if we do, eventually those folks will leave the platform and tumblr will become increasingly insular until it's just an echo chamber for the highest level content creators to pat themselves on the back.

that is my opinion. maybe i'm wrong (i hope i am), but that seems to me the logical conclusion.

there's also the issue of fan content in general and what using paywalls to generate revenue could mean for our freedom to create fan fiction and art. as has been pointed out in many of the posts circulating about this feature, people like me are able to create the content we do because we do it for free.

there is a reason i feel queasy every time i see a writer offering to create fanfiction for a price. that kind of behavior can get you into trouble, and even a small cohort of folks doing that kind of thing can spell trouble for every fan creator out there.

there's a reason anne rice's works are super popular still, but there is 0 fan content available for them. i would hate to see fandoms i love like naruto or bnha be impacted because someone saw an opportunity when paywalls started going up around content that's based on other sources.

idk. maybe part of my issue is just that i don't like change. i don't want my experience here (which has overall been super positive) to suddenly change so that a few people at the top can make some money. (because let's face it, most of us could never hope to make a profit from this service.)

the thing is, tho, i don't really know what the solution is, either. because tumblr has to make money to survive. content creators are not wrong for wanting to be compensated for their work.

i guess my thought is just to keep reblogging and commissioning and using ko-fi (with the proper paypal settings, don't be an idiot like me my god) and hope that by making our content creators feel loved and appreciated we can stave off the slow and inevitable capitalist death of a platform that means a lot to so many people.

i'll get off my soapbox now. if you actually read this whole thing (MY GOODNESS WHY DID YOU DO THAT GO TAKE A NAP YOU POOR SOUL), then i'm sorry, lol.

mostly, tho, i look forward to seeing what y'all think about this service because i'll be honest, the reactions i've seen thus far have been overwhelmingly negative. maybe that's just the particular space i occupy, but i think it's going to be hard for tumblr to justify the service moving forward now that so many people have voiced their displeasure for it.

#ask #and answered #lovely anon #lemony rambles #lemony snippets #lemony stfu #tumblr plus

[lychee-drinks]

Sweet Desires // Present Mic/Hizashi Yamada x Female! Reader (NSFW)

Word Count: 3.1k

Tags: Teacher/teacher assistant, choking, hair pulling, smut, dirty talk, cussing

Summary: You are a college student and to graduate you are Hizashi’s assistant. You guys are close, but he tells you to stop seeing him because he’s fallen in love and he feels weird about being with you. You convince him to then go on one date...

A/N: Well well well, this is what i’ve been working on these past few days so enjoy. Just note that this is my second time writing smut and I’m sorry if this is too long 👈👉. Also if you want to support me, https://ko-fi.com/tea999

You weren't a hero, but you were majoring in hero studies hopefully to support famous heroes. As part of your pathway to getting your degree, you had to volunteer and work with heroes/students in high school to become heroes. Thanks to your school, you were able to become a teacher assistant at U.A. Academy under pro hero Present Mic.

He was a friendly teacher, one with high energy in the early morning and was always encouraging you. Hizashi didn't know what it was like to be apart of hero support, but often asked you about school. He treated you like a friend, often during break time he'd drive you out to get you food. Sometimes, you guys would even hang out outside of school, he'd just invite you to a restaurant or just hang out. Your guy's personalities matched each other so it was no surprise that you guys clicked instantly.

You walked into the teacher's lounge, today the students having class, but the teachers were and so you came by to help him out once more. Hizashi didn't notice you at first, he sat at his desk not wearing his normal costume.

No matter how many times you told yourself you couldn't fall for this man, it happened and you suppressed it. Outside of school when you guys would hang out, you always found yourself flirting with him and he would do so back. Going out shopping to places, sometimes you guys would accidentally hold hands for too long. Hizashi's high energy always motivated you and you liked that.

"Hello Present Mic, I've come by today to help you out," You cheered as you sat yourself next to him.

"Heyy, thank you for coming today, it means a lot to me," He smiled with a less cheerful demeanor as usual. You noticed, but you didn't bother asking him what was up. "Can you help me with grading the kid's work today?"

"Yes sir," You smiled and got straight to work.

For the next few hours you helped him out with things he needed to get done, more like a student assistant rather than a student teacher afterall. Today he was more silent, it was strange, but you decided not to ask him.

Later came lunch, Hizashi stood up to take a stretch break. As he lifted his arms up, his shirt came up along with it and you couldn't help but find yourself blushing at the sight of his exposed stomach.

"(Y/N), come with me outside and let's take a break," He smiled. You got up and followed him. Outside in the hall ways, there were some of his students.

"Good afternoon Present Mic!!!" A boy with red hair waved from the group. Hizashi waved back.

You guys sat outside on a bench next to a vending machine. He bought you a can of coffee and you accepted. He on the other hand had a bottle of soda instead.

"What's upwith not wearing the hero attire? Usually you'd always be in costume at school," You asked him as you took a sip out of your can.

"Just not feeling it today, it feels great to be in normal attire," He laughed as he took another stretch standing up. Hizashi stopped and turned to you with a soft expression. You and him made eye contact for a bit and then he spoke up, "How many more hours do you need to be a student teacher?"

'Why is he asking me that?' You thought to yourself. "Just around 8 more hours, why's that?" You asked him.

"I can fake documents and make it look like you completed your hours, you don't need to keep coming to U.A. anymore," He sighed as he took a big drink from his soda.

You stared at him, a bit shocked. Did he not want to see you anymore? Maybe he sympathized that you were a tired college student who wanted to get things done as soon as you can, but you enjoyed being his student assistant. You wouldn't thought he would want you to be under him much longer, but maybe that wasn't the case.

"Why's that? I know I have school to focus on, but I actually enjoy spending time here at U.A," You said to him. He glanced at you and let out a small chuckle.

"I'll be honest, I started liking you," He announced. Hizashi didn't make much eye contact with you, but you could tell he was blushing. Your heart was pounding, he liked you. "I'm sorry if I creeped you out, I don't think I can continue seeing you."

He liked you. Colors of love and disappointment flashed around you and your cheeks went red. How were you supposed to react when the person you had to suppress your feelings for is confessing their feelings to you and trying to cut you out of their life? Hizashi stood there waiting a bit for your response, but it seemed like he wanted to go back. You grabbed his hand.

"I can't leave yet, I love the students here, I love the staff and I like being around you," You stuttered a bit. Your feelings of flattery overwrote feelings of sadness. You still held on to his hand, which felt warm.

He turned back and let your hand go. "I like you so much, but I feel like I'm going to fall too hard for you."

If you let him go back, then you would lose your chance to be with him. You were still stunned, but you made up your mind. Hizashi was starting to walk back and you grabbed him from behind and you pressed your lips onto his.

Hizashi was shocked, but gave in and kissed you back. The kiss was passionate and felt like heaven. Hizashi had his hand stroking your hair. Thankfully, nobody was around to witness the kiss get more intimate, and then he pushed you away.

"I cant, I'm like a teacher to you," He said as he covered his face to blush. It didn't seem like he would budge and so you came with a compromise.

"One date, are you going to tell me that is hanging outside of school was necessary," You said to him with your one finger up. Hizashi didn't say anything back, but he still looked hesitant to respond. "I don't know how to process everything you've told me, I'm getting 'fired' and you also like me. My heart is pounding hard and I just like being around you so much."

You were being like a clueless high school teenager in love confessing your side to him and he laughed at that. "I can't help it that I fell for you, but I don't know if I can pursue anything with you. There's the whole stigma around someone like me and you getting together and I've also got myself busy with being a hero and teaching."

"I... can't help you with that, but I think we should give it a try," You said back. He blushed and turned around.

"You're a persistant one, we'll go on one date then," Hizashi said changing his mind easily. He softly hit his can of soda on your head. Part of him was telling him not to go along with the date so easily, but most of him liked you enough to want to hang out and pursue you.

The day came for your date with Hizashi, your date was going to be just exploring the city, shopping and eating. You were nervous, but you were also excited too.

'Will this date be just like how we normally hang out or much more?' You questioned to yourself.

You made it to the city before he did, and stood in front of a stationary store. Hizashi came by around 10 minutes later in his casual clothes. You rarely saw him wear his casual clothes, but when you did he always looked way more attractive. Hizashi had his hair down in a half up bun and wore glasses you never really saw him wear much.

"HEYYYYYYYYY," Hizashi exclaimed and you waved back to him. "Did you wait too long for me?" He asked as he grabbed your hand. You couldn't help, but blush at him holding your hand.

"Not at all, let's go!!"

For the first part of your date, you guys went around the stores, looking at clothes, going to bookstores, or looking at electronics. He didn't let go of your hand the entire time and you liked that.

"OK, so what do you think of this!!" Hizashi smiled as he put on a funny hat to entertain you. You laughed at him and he laughed back.

"That looks terrible on you, but I'll add a bonus for looking so fine," You smirked.

"Aha you're too kind."

You guys continued to explore, at one point buying food from a bakery. While you were eating a croissant, he suddenly came up and took a bite leaving you mad, but in a cute way. He was a big tease. Messing around with you, and turning things romantic.

While taking a break and resting on a bench, he went off to the bathroom and you were thinking.

'Even if he doesn't want to see me anymore, I hope we remain friends somehow,' You thought to yourself and he came back. This time, he had drinks in his hand.

"Got you drinks!!" He yelled. Hizashi ran up to you and sat himself down. He handed you a bottle of water and watched as you opened it up and take a sip.

"Are you enjoying this date?" You asked him wanting to get his opinion.

"It's been great," Hizashi admitted. That was something you could get out of him.

"You know after today, I think I can say I want to see you more," You told him. Even if the other day you were unsure how to feel, after today you enjoyed being around him and wanted to bring things further.

"I don't know, while I really enjoyed today and enjoy being with you, it feels wrong," He said. Your volunteering didn't matter anymore, you didn't want to cut him off.

"But I don't think it's wrong, you talk things out like I'm a high schooler when I'm not. Maybe you have other reasons, but I don't want to lose you as my friend too."

Hizashi didn't respond and sat there next to you in silence. It seems like he wasn't going to budge so maybe that mean the date was over. He probably had more reasons to not want to see you anymore, and you had no choice to respect that. Hizashi stood up and you expected that he was going to leave, but he didn't.

"Do you want to come to my place? I've got funny movies to watch and I think that would be a great way to end the date," He smiled. What a way to change you mood. You agreed to it and the two of you left the city to go to his place.

You entered his apartment, it wasn't big, but it was enough for one person to live in. It was a bit messy, but it wasn't that bad. He had empty bottles on his counter and papers unorganized on his table. You took your jacket off and left it on the couch.

"Sorry about the mess, but make yourself at home."

You sat yourself down on the couch in front of the T.V. It took a bit for him to join you, but he offered you a can of beer. You accepted and you guys watched anything you guys found. Hizashi was fun to watch movies with, for the first 20 minutes it was uncomfortable, but then things got comfortable fast. His laugh was enough to get you to start laughing too and his commentary was entertaining. Sometimes he'd jump up and imitate the actors and you would laugh till you cried.

You guys sat up cuddling with each other. The beer calmed your nerves a bit, you weren't too drunk, but just comfortable and so was he. Things were flirty and even though he was saying how he wasn't sure if he wanted to see you anymore because he liked you, that was all behind.

"You know when I was first introduced to you from my school's counselor, my first thought was that you were so damn hot," You laughed.

"I could say the same too, but then I was like 'Nope I have to be professional." You were already scooted up to his arms so there wasn't more you could do. You and Hizashi made eye contact with each other and you pressed your lips against him. It started as a small kiss and slowly turned into a make out session. He had your legs on his lap and his hands at your waist. He soon moved down to your neck leaving you marks as he continues. You let out a moan from the pleasure you were getting.

You had your hands under his shirt slowly lifting it up. His body felt warmer as they moved up his abs. It was interesting, for a man who on the outside looked quite skinny, he had muscles underneath. Hizashi spent too long kissing your face, it was time for you to take over. You took his shirt off, threw it to the ground and pushed him over to where you were on top of him.

"Do you want to continue, I'm it going to force you to do something you don't want," Hizashi asked you.

"For sure," You said. You took off your shirt and he unclipped your bra. You were sitting on his legs and could feel his bulge which caused you to desire him even more. With one hand at his crotch, you went at his jaw giving him hickeys all over him. He let out groans with every action. Soon enough your hands reached down and pulled his pants down. His cock was erect and you were ready to down it. Your tongue swirled around the tip leaving chills in Hizashi's body. The taste of him made you desire more and you continued. Hizashi had his hands stroking your hair and making sure your hair didn't get on your face. He had a relaxed face and let out relaxed moans.

Your position changed and this time he moved himself on top of you before he could cum. His hands trailed down your body giving you a ticklish feel. Realizing you still had your jeans on, Hizashi unbuttoned them and felt your clit through your panties giving them a rub. You were already wet from the excitement and he liked that. His hands got into your panties and had his fingers stroke you.

"Let's move to somewhere better~" You smirked before he could do anymore. Hizashi nodded and lead you to his room. Messy itself, but it was fuckable. He pulled you down onto the bed and got on top of you.

"You sure you wanna continue?" He asked you. His lime colored eyes made deep eye contact with yours.

"Yeah let's do it," You said. Hizashi spread your leg open and put a finger in and you let out a gasp.

"You're already so wet for me," He smirked. He then put a second finger and went for it. You shrieked are how fast he went. His fingers were fast and they hit at where you were pleasured the most. Only at the start and he was this good. It was too early for you to orgasm and so he stopped.

He grabbed a condom and put it on. You laid on your back as he grabbed your legs and put it over his shoulders. Slowly he entered and went slow. The feeling was euphoric, the teacher you were volunteering under was in you. The man you liked was in you and you loved every moment of it. His thrusts were slow, but passionate.

"You like that," He breathed. His pace started getting faster. You but your lip and clenched his sheets to get through it. His nails were dug into your skin as he started going faster and you let out moans as his hips moved in. Hizashi's expression changed from a calm one to a more focused look with his eyebrows furrowed. He was great at sex, and you were pleasured.

"Fuck!" You cussed. He kept going and then turned you over on doggie style. He entered from behind and this time he had his hands around your neck. They sat there, not gripped as tight.His thrusts were faster and you were having so much fun.

"Fuckkkkkk, (Y/N)," He yelled. His thrusts got faster

and it was starting to get painful bit by bit, but you didn't want to stop. The bed squeaked hard and the headboard was hitting the wall. It felt so good in you, you could almost feel yourself reach the climax and he was too. You were more than satisfied. It wasn't long until you finally reached your orgasm. You screamed his name his thrusts started slowing down.

"Shit, I'm gonna cum," Hizashi groaned. He was trying to get the most satisfaction from you and went hard. Soon he pulled out and came and you collapsed on the bed. You were tired from it all and couldn't keep your eyes open as much. Him on the other hand, he was up throwing away his condom.

You laid down on his bed reflecting on what had happened and he joined you. Hizashi stared up to the ceiling, looking wide awake still.

"So tell me something, is there any reason why you told me that you want to stop seeing me, but decided to fuck me today?" You asked him in a sleepy voice. You were up in his arms, refusing to leave.

"You're right," Hizashi sighed. He turned to you and grabbed your hand.

"You selfish bastard," You poked at him. Inside, you were getting sad. You agreed to fuck him and now he was probably going to cut you out.

"Let's continue seeing each other, but I have to tell you, there's a lot of stuff going on so I'm not sure I can put 100 percent into whatever we have," Hizashi admitted.

"Then tell me everything."

He sat up and told you what had been happening in the hero commission, how there was something big coming up and what he found out about his high school friend. You listened to him vent out his feelings and how he wasn't so sure if now was the right time to be seeing anyone, but he knew he couldn't let you go. You held on to him tight, letting him know that you were there for him and you weren't going to leave him. You wanted to stay like this forever.

#hizashi yamada #present mic #bnha x reader #present mic x reader #hizashi yamada x reader #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

[primroseprime2019]

Darkness Rising- Part One

The sun's rays pierced through the clouds. On the road, a red Dodge Challenger drove down the road. "So there I am on the lookout when out of nowhere, these highlight beams light up my rearview," the red Autobot said, "and then it hits me. I'm illegally parked!"

"Another parking ticket?" A blue and pink Kawasaki Ninja 250R asked in a knowing tone as she drove down the road. "Better. The boot," the red bot said.

"Big metal tire clamp impossible to remove," the motorcycle said.

"Bingo! So the local police do their thing, and I let 'em get all the way down the back," the red bot said, "that's when I kick off my new shiny shoe and bang!" "New York's finest soil themselves," the motorcycle said, amusement in her voice.

"You know me Arcee," the bot said, "you mess with Cliffjumper-" "And you get the horns," Arcee said, earning a laugh from her partner, "not sure how that complies with Autobot rule number one: keep a low profile."

"What can I say? Patrolling out here in Dullsville gets lonesome," Cliffjumper said, "almost makes me miss the Decepticons." "Like Jasper Nevada's a party? We're alone wherever we travel on this rock Cliff," Arcee said.

Cliffjumper's GPS navigation system started going off. The screen changed from the road route to a sonar picture of the area he was in. "I'm getting a signal," he said.

"Need backup?" Arcee asked, alert. "Do I ever need backup?" Cliffjumper said before going off-road. At the highest speed, Cliffjumper sped towards the location. When he arrived, he skidded to a stop at the edge of a ditch. There were big and small dark blue energon crystals sticking out of the bottom of the ditch.

"I just found a whole lot of energon!" Cliffjumper said. A shadow suddenly loomed over the Autobot and the energon. Cliffjumper transformed into his bipedal form and looked up to see a large ship. "Decepticons," he said.

The Decepticon warship- or the Nemesis, as most called it- loomed over the energon. A gun-like blaster unfolded on the side and fired at Cliffjumper. The blast exploded at Cliffjumper's pedes, the force of the explosion sending Cliffjumper flying into the ditch. The Autobot warrior got on one knee as he looked up to see a few Decepticon troops flying out of the ship and landing near the edge of the ditch.

"Arcee... about that backup," Cliffjumper said, "fair warning boys. I'm gonna put a few dings in ya." He transformed into his vehicle form and drove up the wall of the ditch before he flew off it, transformed into his bipedal form and began to fight the Vehicons.

◊◊◊◊

"Arcee to Optimus! The 'Cons are back. Cliff might be neck deep in scrap," Arcee reported to her leader, Optimus Prime. "Understood," the Prime replied, "Ratchet, do you have Cliffumper's coordinates?"

"I'm locked onto his signal Optimus," Ratchet said as he drove through a snow-covered area, "but our teams are scattered across time zones."

"Arcee, Bulkhead, Bumblebee, Firestorm, Primrose, rendezvous back to base and prepare to ground bridge," Optimus ordered.

◊◊◊◊

Cliffjumper was having a rather hard time fighting the troops. The odds weren't in his favor now as the Decepticon troops punched him hard. One punched him hard enough to send him flying back into the ditch and the punch sent one of Cliffjumper's horns flying off.

Cliffjumper got to his pedes. "You want the horns," he said, unlocking his blasters, "you got 'em." With that said, he began to shoot at the Decepticons, taking one of them out before the others started to fire back at the red Autobot. Cliffjumper dodged the shots before the energon exploded, the force of the explosion sending Cliffjumper flying into the wall.

As the smoke drifted into the air, two Vehicons dragged Cliffjumper to the warship.

A silver and dark grey Seeker stood in the command center. "The energon," he said bitterly, "it's worthless to me now." He turned to see the Vehicons dragging in a nearly burnt and beaten Cliffjumper.

"Scream... been a while," Cliffjumper coughed, "so... where's your master?"

"Nevermind him!" Starscream snapped, "I am my own master." With that, the Seeker slammed his digits into the left side of Cliffjumper's chestplates. "Any last questions?" The Seeker growled.

Cliffjumper let out a weak groan and when Starscream pulled his claws out, the Autobot fell to the floor limp.

Starscream stepped back, "clean that up."

◊◊◊◊

Once the Decepticon warship flew away, a ground bridge opened. Firestorm, Bulkhead, Arcee, Bumblebee, Primrose and Ratchet jumped out, their weapons out. Optimus came out last, his blasters out.

"An untapped energon deposit," Optimus said. "What's left of it," Bulkhead said.

"The first Decepticon activity we've seen in three years," Ratchet said. "That we know of," Firestorm huffed.

"If the Decepticons are scouting for energon, they may be preparing for his return," Optimus said gravely.

Primrose, Arcee and Bumblebee bounded down the wall of the ditch and to the bottom. Primrose looked around before she froze as she saw something.

Arcee followed her gaze and widened her optics. It was Cliffjumper's horn. She scooped it up into her servos, "no." Optimus walked up beside her before he looked to Ratchet, "Ratchet, can you track his position?"

Ratchet opened a mineature computer in his wrists. "No... Cliffjumper's signal... just went offline," he said gravely. Firestorm widened his optics.

"No," Primrose whimpered, "no." Arcee wrapped her arms around the young Prime, feeling despair in her spark.

◊◊◊◊

Starscream stood in the command center. A slender Decepticon Seeker with black and purple colors and a visor silently walked up to the other Seeker.

"Soundwave," Starscream said, "what is it?" "Like Jasper Nevada's a party? We're alone wherever we travel on this rock, Cliff," Soundwave recorded the conversation between Arcee and Cliffjumper before the red Autobot's death.

"Ah, the one called Arcee," Starscream said with a smirk, "why slay one Autobot when we still have the advantage of surprise?"

◊◊◊◊

"We must not allow our anger over the loss of Cliffjumper to impair our judgement," Optimus said as he and his teammates stood on the roof of the silo, "as of today, only we seven Autobots remain on this Earth. We owe it to ourselves, to the memory of Cybertron, to any Autobots in any galaxy seeking safe harbor, to humankind."

Primrose knelt down and placed a rose next to Cliffjumper's horn. "And we owe it to the memory of our fallen comrade to survive," Optimus said and he looked to Arcee, "Arcee."

"If Cliff's gone, standing around here sulking won't bring him back. So unless anyone minds, think I'll get back to protecting humankind," Arcee said bitterly as she walked away before she transformed into her vehicle form and drove away.

"Optimus, helping humans will only result in more tragedy," Ratchet said. "Your opinion is noted," Optimus said with a nod.

◊◊◊◊

In the busy part of Jasper, Nevada, a sixteen year old boy was working at a local fast food restaurant called KO Drive-In.

He had raven black hair and deep blue eyes. "Welcome to KO Drive-In where every patty's a knockout," the boy said in a bored tone, "may I take your order?"

"Uh, two super combos, extra fries," the customer said. "Okay, dos numeros twos," the boy said as he prepared the order, "anything else?"

"Yeah," the customer said, "some advice. How do I get an awesome job like yours?" Then the sixteen year old boy heard laughter in the background and his eyes narrowed.

"So that's two we're-not-as-funny-as-we-think-we-are combos with a side of bite me," Jack sniped.

The customer laughed before he realized what Jack had said, "what you say?"

"5.59, sir," Jack said, "at the window." When he said that, he turned away as the customer drove up, grabbed the bags and drove off, laughing.

"H-hey! You have to pay for that!" Jack said. However the customer didn't get far as a fourteen year old girl stood in the way. She had midnight black hair, light brown eyes and she didn't look happy.

"I suggest you pay my friend- even though I don't do violence, would you rather have your precious car vandalized?" The girl asked with a smirk.

The customer quickly backed his car up and paid Jack before he drove away. Jack gave the girl a thankful look, "thanks Paige."

"No problem Jack," Paige said with a soft smile, "you coming outside yet?"

Jack laughed softly and he nodded.

Arcee drove down the road, almost getting lost in her thoughts. She hadn't meant to leave her teammates behind.

Cliffjumper's death was really hard on her. First it was Tailgate, now it was Cliffjumper. Something caught her attention and she shifted her side mirror and saw two Vehicons driving after her.

"Twins," she said to herself before she sped up and drove over to the restaurant. She drove into a spot and watched as the two Vehicons drove past.

"Take five Sadie," she said once the hologram of the motorcyclist disappeared and she turned off her engine.

After a few moments, Jack walked out of the restaurant and his phone started to ring. He took it out of his back pocket and answered it. "Hi Mom," he said, "I just got off. No, I'm not going to the dance. Experience says I should never cut a rug; unless it's stolen carpet."

Paige smiled at Jack as she walked up beside him. She saw the motorcycle and went over to it.

"Be careful? Seriously? This is Jasper," Jack said with an amused smile. He paused in mid-step when he saw the motorcycle. "I love you," he said dreamily before he realized he was still on the phone, "uh, yeah, Mom. Love you too. Gotta run." He hung up and he hurried over to the motorcycle.

"Hello, beautiful," he said, "where have you been all my life?" Paige chuckled slightly as she looked the motorcycle over curiously. She squatted down in front of the motorcycle and gazed at it's headlights.

Something felt strange about this motorcycle. She didn't know what it was but she could almost feel it's presence surrounding hers. She could feel it's emotions.

She looked up at Jack as the sixteen year old mounted the motorcycle. "It may take a few KO paychecks but I am gonna own a ride like you someday," he said.

"Are you talking to your motorcycle?" He and Paige looked to see two girls laughing.

"U-uh, to my motorcycle? N-no," Jack stuttered, "but- to you, I am." He pressed his palm to his forehead in embarrassment, 'lame.'

"Smooth Darby. Smooth," Paige said with a slight smirk, earning a light glare from Jack. "So how's things, Sierra?" He asked the girl, "take you for a spin sometime?"

"C'mon, smooth operator," Arcee whispered as she kept her side mirror on the two arriving Vehicons, "wrap it up." Paige looked at Arcee for a moment before she sat behind Jack and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"You know my name?" Sierra asked. "We're in home room together," Jack said, "I'm Jack. Jack Darby." Lights shone in the teenagers' direction.

"Scrap," Arcee hissed. The two Decepticons drove towards the group. Sierra and her friend ran away. Arcee started her engine and drove towards the Vehicons. Jack shouted in fear. Paige shut her eyes tightly in fear and shock as Arcee sped past the Vehicons and she drove out onto the road.

"Do not let go," Arcee said to Jack and Paige. "Who said that!?" Jack shouted, freaked out.

"Commander Starscream, target sighted, acocmpan by two human youths," one of the troops said. "Destroy them all!" Starscream ordered.

When Arcee had Jack and Paige safe in an alleyway, she finally stopped and let the two off. "What are you?" Jack asked, stepping back.

"I don't exist," Arcee hissed, "tell anyone about me and I will hunt you down."

Paige widened her eyes slightly before she ran away with Jack quickly following. Arcee drove out of the alleyway and the Vehicons drove after her.

One of them turned down the alleyway. "Scrap!" Arcee said. In the process, she jumped over the oncoming vehicon before turning the corner. In the alley, Jack and Paige were running. Jack grabbed Paige's hand so she could keep up.

"We don't even know her!" Jack shouted at the Decepticon that was chasing them. "What do you want with us!?" Paige shouted.

Arcee drove past the Decepticon and up beside Jack and Paige, "hop on!" Once the two did just that, Arcee sped ahead of the two Vehicons.

Once Arcee was on a highway, the Decepticons followed in pursuit and started to shoot at the Autobot femme.

"Why are those guys shooting at us!?" Jack asked nervously. "There's no us, kid," Arcee said firmly, "and there are no guys."

Bumblebee joined them on the highway and rammed into the Decepticons. After skidding around the highway a little bit, Bumblebee regained control and immediately went to follow Arcee.

"Friend of yours?" Paige asked curiously. "Family," Arcee corrected.

◊◊◊◊

Under the bridge in Jasper, Nevada, a young boy was racing a toy car around by himself. As he had fun with his remote control car, his phone rang, which he immediately answered.

"Hey Mama," he said, "racing right up the street. Okay. Just five more minutes?" He hung up and started to drive his toy car around.

Arcee drove over the bridge and landed a few yards away from Raf who dropped his remote in surprise. "Whoa," he said.

"You have no idea," Jack sighed. Raf walked over to Jack and Paige. Paige got off of Arcee's vehicle form and let out a breath of relief.

The sound of revving engine caught the kids' attention as the two Decepticons drove over to them. Paige widened her eyes slightly and she pulled Raf close protectively.

Arcee transformed into her bipedal form. Jack, Paige and Raf hurried to the side.

"This ends here, Cons," Arcee said and she charged at the two Vehicons. That's when the fight started.

"Wh-what are they?" Raf asked. "Talking cars that turn into robots," Jack said, "or the other way around."

Arcee punched one of the Vehicons multiple times, "this. Is. For. Cliff!" Her punches didn't seem to phase the Vehicon as he looked at her.

She stepped back before she started to dodge the Vehicon's blaster shots by doing backflips. There was one she couldn't dodge as one of the shots hit her right in the abdomen, sending her skidding back across the ground.

The Vehicons walked towards her only to stop when Bumblebee jumped down and attacked the two. He punched the closest Vehicon next to him before he kicked the other away. He walked forward until there was a loud crunch under his pede, causing him to pause in surprise. Looking down, he lifted his pede and saw Raf's crushed toy car.

"Sorry about that," he said, looking to the kids. "No problem. Really," Raf said.

Suddenly Bumblebee was shot, the force of the shot sending him flying back and landing on the ground. He pushed himself up only for one of the Vehicons to slam their pede on the back of his helm. The scout turned towards them and they aimed their blasters at him.

"No!" Paige shouted. "Leave him alone!" Raf shouted angrily. Bumblebee and the vehicons turned towards them.

"Please?" Raf squeaked. "Bad call," Jack said. One of the Vehicons walked towards the three. "Go! Go!" Paige exclaimed and she quickly ushered Raf to run ahead with her and Jack quickly following.

The three climbed into a storm drain and continued to run as the Vehicon reached towards them. Suddenly the Vehicon was pulled away from the storm drain. Bumblebee peeked into the storm drain. "You kids alright?" "Thank you," Paige and Raf said in unison.

"No problem," the scout said before he quickly left to help Arcee.

"Don't look back," Jack said. "What did we just see?" Raf asked. "No idea and I'm not sure I wanna find out," Jack said.

The fight between the Decepticons, Bumblebee and Arcee continued. One of the Vehicons punched Bumblebee hard, sending him flying back next to Arcee who quickly knelt down to help the scout.

The Decepticons walked towards the two Autobots only to stop when a green Lamborghini LM002 drove towards Arcee and Bumblebee. He transformed into his bipedal form, standing beside his comrades, "who's ready to rumble?"

The Vehicons looked at each other before they transformed into their vehicle forms and drove away.

Bumblebee bent forward, placing his servos on his knees in exhaustion. Arcee looked to Bulkhead, "what took you?"

"Traffic," Bulkhead said with a shrug.

◊◊◊◊

At the base, Arcee was explaining the events to Optimus. "And the Cons would've been scrap metal if I wasn't distracted by the human," she said.

"Human?" The Prime repeated. "Two boys and one girl," Bumblebee said.

"I guess the other one caught us in action? I don't know. Was a little busy at the time," Arcee said, crossing her arms over her chestplates.

"If the Decepticons are targeting us, anyone perceived as our ally will be at great risk," Optimus said. "Well this will be interesting," Firestorm said, leaning against the wall.

◊◊◊◊

At the school, Jack walked down the stairs and he looked towards Raf and Paige who waved at him. Jack hurried over to the two, "guys, hey. Look, let's just forget this ever happened okay? Keep this between us?"

"I honestly doubt that'll happen," Paige said and a honk caught her and Raf's attention. "Jack," Raf said happily.

"Oh not again," Jack groaned as Bumblebee drove up beside them and opened his door.

"You two, get inside," he said. "It wants us to get in," Jack said.

"No. Just me and Paige," Raf said. "How do you know that?" Jack asked, surprised.

"He said so," Paige said. "What!?" Jack gasped. "Yours is over there," Raf said, gesturing to Arcee who was parked on the other side of the street.

"Yeah, I really don't think-" "How's it going?" Raf asked as he and Paige climbed into Bumblebee's venicle form.

"Wh-hey! Stop!" Jack protested but Bumblebee was already driving down the road. The sixteen year old boy frowned before he sent a glare towards Arcee and walked away.

A fifteen year old girl sat on the stair, drawing a sketch of Arcee. "Coolest bike ever," she said. Her phone rang and she picked it up. "Host parents? Ignore," she said with a huff as she closed her phone and continued her drawing.

When she looked up, Arcee was gone. She groaned in disappointment before she saw the motorcycle drive down the road. She quickly got up and ran to follow it.

In an alleyway, Arcee drove up and stopped in front of Jack. "Relax. I just want to talk to you," she said.

"Don't you mean you and your new friend?" Jack asked. "Kid, there's a lot you don't understand," Arcee said, making Sadie disappear.

"I get it, I get it," Jack said quickly, stepping back, "the first rule about robot fight club is you don't talk about robot fight club." He turned and started walking away and much to his dismay, Arcee began to follow him.

"What you need to understand is that I don't want any crazy, talking robots following me around trying to get me killed!" Jack snapped. Arcee transformed into her bipedal form, kneeling down, "look. Jack, is it? Your personal safety is exactly why Optimus Prime requested your presence."

"O-Optimus who?" Jack asked, confused. "You may be in danger because you are one of the few- one of the only who have ever seen us," Arcee said.

"Dude, what're you waiting for?" They both looked to see Miko standing next to the corner, looking excited. "Go with!" She said.

"Scrap," Arcee sighed.

◊◊◊◊

Arcee and Bumblebee drove down the road. Miko was cheering loudly in Jack's ear, much to his and Arcee's annoyance.

"And why exactly are we bringing her?" Jack asked. "Rules," Arcee said. The two Autobots drove down the road and sped past the stop sign.

"Whoa!" Jack yelled in surprise and fear. A rock slab slid down and the two Autobots drove into the base. They drove down a tunnel and into a large room.

"Whoa," Jack and Miko gasped. "Cool," Raf said. "Amazing," Paige said.

Bumblebee stopped and Raf and Paige stepped out of his vehicle form, allowing him to transform. "I thought there were three," Ratchet said.

"Haven't you heard? Humans multiply," Arcee said sarcastically. Paige looked at Arcee then at Firestorm and Primrose.

"I'm Raf," Raf said to Miko. "I'm Miko," she said as she ran up to Bulkhead, "who're you?"

"Bulkhead," Bulkhead said nervously. "Are you a car? I bet you're a truck- a monster truck! Do you like heavy metal? How much do you weigh? Ever use a wrecking ball as a punching bag?" Miko asked eagerly.

Primrose chuckled softly. "So if you guys aren't robots, who made you?" Raf asked. Ratchet scoffed, "puh-lease."

Paige couldn't help but frown and she tensed up when there were heavy, rumbling footsteps. She turned to see Optimus Prime walking over to them.

"We are Autonomous Robotic Organisms from the planet Cybertron. Also known as Autobots," he said. "Why are you here?" Jack asked.

"To protect your planet from the Decepticons," Primrose said as she walked up beside Optimus.

"The jokers who tried to bump us off last night," Arcee clarified. "Okay... why are they here?" Jack asked.

Optimus knelt down so he could be a comforting sight to the humans, "a fair question, Jack. In part, they are here because our planet is uninhabitable; ravaged by centuries of civil war."

"Why were you fighting a war?" Raf asked. "Foremost, over the control of their world's supply of Energon, the lifeblood of all Autobots and Decepticons alike. The combat was fierce and endured for centuries," Optimus said, "In the begining I fought alongside one who I considered a brother. But in war, ideals can be corrupted. And it was thus that Megatron lost his way."

"Is there gonna be a quiz?" Miko sighed and she grunted as Paige lightly elbowed her in the arm.

"So what does Megatron or any of this have to do with us?" Jack asked.

"Megatron has not been seen or heard from in some time," Optimus said, "but if his return is imminent, as I fear, it could be catastrophic."

◊◊◊◊

"Those transmissions are aminating from deep space. I would hate to waste the Energon," Starscream sighed, "unless you are absolutely certain." Soundwave nodded his helm in confirmation. Echo looked at her brother then at Starscream.

"Then lock on transmission coordinates and activate the space bridge," Starscream said.

◊◊◊◊

In the darkness of deep space, a space bridge opened up. In mere seconds, a silver and purple jet flew out of the space bridge and transformed into his bipedal form.

"DECEPTICONS! I have returned," Megatron said with a triumphant grin.

#fanfiction #transformers prime #self insert #my ocs #the girl among the gods

[ae-diaries]

My Life Testimony

Warning: Long post ahead

The content of this blog has me holding a secret I've kept hidden for a long time. I'm a bit hesitant to share my personal story because others (who knew me already) may be shocked or turned off 😅, but hopefully, the thoughts would bless someone and help you face your weaknesses and rise above them. This is a celebration of the greatest miracle I received from God. I never thought that miracle was real, until circumstances proved that it is possible. 

Foremost in my mind is when I was a high school kid. My life was symbolized by the microphone; I’d been exposed to sing in front of a crowd, be it in school or amateur singing contests. It's not to boast but it felt like I was a singing sensation back then, others dubbed me as 'songbird', 'sweet nightingale' to name a few 🤣. But when no one's looking, I felt, for lack of a better description, just off. This was caused by a certain physical condition that tear down my self-image. 

It all began when my mother noticed that I had an uneven shoulders when I was 13 years old. Later on, I was diagnosed with scoliosis measuring a 20-degree curve, and so my doctor from PGH gave me various stretching exercises and required me to wear a brace to prevent the curve from worsening or else surgery awaits me.

I freaked out inside. At the back of my mind, I wondered, “Why me?”. From then on, a hidden scar symbolizes my 'private' life. People might not notice it, but really I was riddled with inferiority complex and lack of self-worth. Nakakaiyak isipin, imagine ako lang bukod tanging estudyante sa private skul na may ganitong klaseng kundisyon. How I pitied myself. Parang ayoko nang lumabas. Hiyang hiya ako. 

I usually cried and pahirapan pa every time my mother would be putting the brace into my body, kabilinbilinan niya wag ko daw aalisin para daw mapabilis paggaling ko, but there was this one time, while I was on my way to school, naisipan kong dumaan muna sa haus ng classmate ko para lang ipatago yung brace ko. And it happened many times. Ang bigat nyang dalhin, di lang sa katawan kundi pati narin sa kalooban. Later on, they found out what I was doing, until wala na silang nagawa sa tigas ng ulo ko. Fortunately, my classmates did not bully me in school; however, I was still very conscious and afraid that my crush would see me like a bionic kid. To this day, I have never told my parents about this reason. You know as a teenager, I was overly sensitive by the opinion of others. And that's all that matters to me. I didn't think of the consequences of this action. 

Fast forward to 2012, sabi nila end of the world na this year (according to Mayan calendar), feeling ko katapusan ko nadin when I went back to the doctor and learned that the deformity progressed to over 50 degrees. Reality finally hit me! A major surgery was needed to correct my S-curved spine. Why I didn't just wear that darn thing? I must admit nagpabaya ako as I was trying to live like a normal kid. At that time, I was already employed in my first job so I filed for a two-month leave. Luckily, my very understanding boss approved it. I also had an amazing orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Teodoro Castro, who explained to me the procedure (though it was as clear as mud to me). He was very reassuring, so I didn't get scared. 

And when he asked, "Kelan mo gusto magpa-opera?," Without a second thought, I replied, "Kahit po bukas na doc!". My thoughts were, "If not now, when pa?"( I felt like I was running out of time.) His eyes bulged upon hearing my immediate response! And so he set the schedule to May 16, 1 p.m (which I spent at Sta. Teresita General Hospital in Quezon City). 

It was exciting, really, though it had 'Final Destination' feels. Andaming 'what ifs', what if di ako maka-survive? Bigla kong naisip talagang 'life is short' at ang dami ko pa palang di nagagawa sa mundong ibabaw such as makapag-serve kay God through joining a spiritual ministry, to travel for a cause, makapag-abroad, makakanta sa tv, makita si Regine & Sarah, magamit license ko to teach students, maigala ang magulang ko, and to have my own family. Sana magawa ko pa ang mga ito after post-op. 

More so, I felt my family's collective fear; I could actually hear the loud beating of my parents' chest when they signed the waiver 🤣. My father had worries that my voice might deteriorate after the operation. Laying in my bed and knowing that I may be that close to dying, I delivered my prayer of surrender to God and remained fearless. The comforting lyrics of 'You made me Stronger' by Kelly Clarkson became my fight song while in the hospital.

Waking up after the operation was the highlight. Being groggy from the anesthesia, I opened my eyes, feeling like it's just a continuation of my short sleep. I saw the nurses and my family - patiently waiting for me to wake up for almost 6 hours na daw. The first thing I asked was, "Tapos na?" (many times). I felt a huge sigh of relief when they uttered the words that struck me to the core, "Oo, tapos na." S*** I couldn't believe my ears; I was flying with joy! For years I have prayed for this miracle. I wanted to shout and do any dance challenge, 🤣 but how could I do that? They were preventing me from talking yet or make any movements because a mask was surrounding my nose and a lot of apparatuses were attached to my body. Later on, I learned that my younger brother cried after seeing me survived the operation. May kadramahan din pala si brother na lagi kong kabangayan 😂. While the success of my operation wouldn't be possible if it weren't for the assistance provided by my father's company, DMCI Corp. That's why I'll always be indebted to their big boss, VAC (May his soul rest in peace).

My healing lasted for almost nine months. I never suffered from complications, just pure torture and regrets na sana di nalang ako nagpa-opera (huhu). This is no exaggeration but dinaig ko pa talaga ang na-cesarean. On the first month after my operation, I became disabled and reached levels of pain I thought never existed in human experience: It was difficult to breath; I could not stand and walk on my own; I became excessively skinny because of drug intake - this was a legal drug prescribed by my doctor which can remove the pain only for 4-6 hrs. It felt so pathetic and frustrating to see myself in front of the mirror. No matter how much I tried to be positive, my insecurities gripped me down again and again to the point of questioning God: "Is there a hope for me?", 

"How come others could breathe and walk so well? During these times, inggit na inggit ako sa mga taong nakakalakad at nakakahinga ng maluwag. Feeling ko life is so unfair. Somewhere deep inside, I believed I was ugly, that He really didn't like me and it was His punishment for all the sins I did in the past. As I poured out my grief before God, a question popped in my head: “Mira, give me reasons why you should remain grateful?.”

“Seriously, how can I be grateful in times like this?.”

But in those agonizing moments, a light of hope from my parents’ eyes illuminates my darkness. 

In all the times that I cried and complained, I never saw them get too tired to feed me or serve me even if it would make them uncomfortable to make me comfortable. I couldn't imagine how they felt when I looked down on myself. Aside from my parents, my siblings, concerned relatives and genuine friends also never left my side. It's as if they became my extra pair of legs when mine refuse to walk. And my heart is full of gratitude today because they have loved me during the times that I didn't love myself. 

I'm living a normal life now as if nothing happened but others observed that except for my angelic voice 🤣, I tend to become forgetful and a little bit of deaf (Yes to this level) - this was probably caused by my extra dose of antibiotics intake 🤣. They noticed that I walk with lightning speed, as if may hinahabol daw ako lagi - maybe subconsciously, this has something to do with my life goals. Yes, I do get tired easier that's why there are some things that I must not do such as lifting heavy objects, sport activities (except for swimming), washing a mountain of clothes 🤣, bawal ma-stress and ma-exposed sa extreme cold places 😅.

As they say, true wisdom is learning from your shortcomings. For everything that I'd been through, I realized that there's a lesson hidden underneath the pain and it was God's way for me to:

(1) strengthen my faith - It was through this difficult times that I also underwent a 'spiritual surgery/enlightenment'. It has helped me find my stride in God and pray like I have never prayed before (for I know nakalimot ako). I didn't know all His plans but surely He was turning my brokenness into greatness. 

(2) love myself, invest in my relationships and create good memories - The whole discernment gave me the courage to keep progressing. I began to accept my imperfections, pick up my self-esteem, and do the things I haven't done before: Much is to be done but so far, I already saw Miss Regine and Sarah in person, traveled to different places, got to teach students in schools, treat my parents - brought  them to concerts and resto; spent midnight snacks and watched movies with my siblings; hang-out with friends; reunited with a long lost friend; restored a broken relationship, and tried to forgive someone;

(3) appreciate the fine details of life - More and more, my wishes become simpler. I realized there is more to life than any material thing could give, and that is getting enough oxygen and optimal healing to every organ in my body. Sobra kong na-appreciate ang buhay ko, especially the air I breathe, and the legs that carry me everywhere.

Eto lang sapat na 'to be happy'. Why did I fail to notice this before? And that's also what I want to ask you, when was the last time you were thankful for the air around you? True to what they say, the best things in life are free, but the problem is we're not contented with what we have and complicate rules to experiencing happiness: “I will be happy only if I’ll be able to upgrade my phone, buy a latest collection of chanel bag, wear a new pair of sketchers shoes..” And I'm so guilty of it because I once was a shoppaholic before that I forgot to remember how 'enough' I truly have.   

As I look back, hagulhol nako sa iyak - there were tears in my eyes, but they were no longer tears of pain but tears of gratitude - thinking how would I survive without the amazing people in my life.

I believe that God wants me to write this article so that I could speak for Him and claim that today, I can go out without any worries because I'm no longer ashamed of the scar life has left me with. It's a blessing in disguise; a sign that I conquered pain and fear. Wala na sigurong pagsubok na di ko kakayanin dahil kinaya ko na yung 'pinakamahirap' because truly, life is about not giving up and trying to fix yourself up after every fall. 

I cannot make the scar disappear but by looking at it, I see a testimony of survival, inner strength and God's miracles. Jesus never said it wouldn't be easy, but He said it would be worth it!  - Matt. 7:13

#secondlife #lifetestimony #embracingmyscar