#I had nowhere else to go and nowhere to be myself. and if I relied on other adults like teachers I would either get dismissed

[leafytaffy]

A lot of discussion involving minors safety online has people saying a lot “just don’t let kids online at all, or control and monitor all their online activity, simple as.”

That argument just uh. Completely relies on parents to not be abusive and bigoted. Which most parents nowadays are.

#Online safety #Man I know I got groomed and abused online before but like. I had parents that micromanaged my social life isolated me and were bigoted #I had nowhere else to go and nowhere to be myself. and if I relied on other adults like teachers I would either get dismissed #Or told “if you pull that trans crap at school we will pull you out” #It fucking sucks that these days kids cannot escape abusive situations. Especially those that suffer mainly emotional abuse and queerphobia #You ain’t getting hit or touched on your genitals (much)? Sorry kid! The law says it’s not abuse! Now all your therapists and even child #services will say it’s your fault you feel miserable and your parents are fine! Screw you!

[myouicieloz]

Comatose

Ning Yizhuo x Reader

Synopsis: you and ning have been best friends ever since you could remember. but she’s been distant lately, and you can’t help but wonder where does she go to every single night.

Warnings: cnc (? maybe?). smut. nsfw.

Word count: 4.8k

Notes: I’m trying to get into darker themes for 2024. writing different prompts, challenging myself. I apologize if I it’s off putting. pls say something if it is!

Ning Yizhuo was a good girl.

She never skipped classes, never talked back or raised her voice at elders, never missed a day of bible school, and never forgot to flicker the lights in her room whenever you were going to sleep.

Yet, she earned for more.

She was ambitious. Has always been, ever since she was a little girl. She’s had this feeling in her chest for ages, a clear warning that she was born in the wrong place: she didn’t belong in this small town, surrounded by rich fuckers that did nothing but label people and gossip all day. She was more than a close-knit community that lived off balls and charity events to make up for the fact that everyone who lived there were scrumptious, vile people. Those people did not represent herself at all.

Someday, she’d be truly free of the chains that tied her to this place.

For now, she was content enough with adjusting the helmet in her head, hopping on her bike to seek things that would make her forget about the life she lived, even if just for one night.

—

“And where is Mrs. Yizhuo once again, Y/n?” Your teacher’s voice echoed harshly from behind you, as you positioned your hands on the piano to start your lesson for the day.

“She’s sick, Mrs. Lee.” You straighten your posture, hoping to get more credibility. “She took many meds this morning. I think she’ll be sleeping all day to recover. I’m sorry.”

The teacher gives you a knowing look, but says nothing once you begin to practice the same songs over and over, until your fingers hurt from the repetitive movements.

You send Ningning several messages as soon as the woman looks away. She’s your best friend, of course you’d cover for her even without her asking for it. Although you don’t think she cares, anyway.

She’s been acting so different lately. Like somebody else; a different girl, different person. It was as if you didn’t know her at all.

You’ve been next-door neighbors ever since you could remember, always there for each other. That, along with the fact that your parents are part of a close-knit friend group that has been friends ever since high-school, made it easy for her to be your other half, your soulmate. Her house was right next to yours, and you’ve developed a habit of checking if her room had the lights on whenever you were anxious. Ning was your best friend, and you did everything together: from hanging out at each other’s houses to attending choir and piano lessons every single day.

That was until she changed. Suddenly, she was distant: disappearing out of nowhere, not answering any of your calls and texts all day and coming back dirty, sweaty and breathless — her hair stinking with smoke. The only thing you could rely on was the flickering of her bedroom lights, every single day when the clock hit your bedtime. You were rigid with your routine, and Ning knew that. She’s never missed it, and it comforted your heart, somehow. To know that deep inside, she was still your Ningning.

You often had to make up lies wherever you went, making up endless excuses for her absences, but at some point, it got unsustainable— she stopped showing up, without saying anything to anyone. Ning wore all black, with tight skirts and black stockings, and often had a bored look on her face, silently challenging anyone to come at her and say something.

No one ever did, obviously. People merely stared as she passed by, disdain etched on their faces.

You knew she hated living in a small city, although, you didn’t mind living so yourself. There was something comforting in knowing everyone, and oddly enough, you felt safe to feel there was always a pair of eyes watching out for you — not watching you, no. Well, people could do that, too: be excessively mean and controlling at times, but you know how to set your boundaries well. You played your part, being a former straight A student who was now attending the local university, with plans to join your step-father at the architecture company he owned, once you were done with your studies. You had been the perfect little debutant, and could always be found next to your friends or your parents at the charity events and lavish galas hosted by the community. You couldn’t say it wasn’t suffocating at times, but it wasn’t like you completely hated it.

Clearly, you were unable to say the same for Ningning. What had stirred this change inside of her? Your chest burned every time you thought about it, eager to know. You yearned to be a part of her life again, yet a small part of your brain was too afraid to ask her about it, knowing she’d answer you wholeheartedly.

You hated the change. You missed your best friend too much. You missed the old her.

The Ning who would flick her lights to let you know she was there, whenever it was time for you to go to sleep. The Ning who let you cry on her shoulder for hours at your grandfather’s funeral. The Ning who would attend the school games to see you cheer, who stood by your side when your dad left, and who washed all of your fears away when your mother remarried.

That was your soulmate; the Ningning who was always there for you. Not the reckless girl with a blank face who didn’t seem to care about a single thing.

Although, you were beginning to think you did not know her at all.

—

“Can I come?” You ask, trying to suppress a shiver as the wind blows cold against your body. It had certainly not been the best idea to wear a white, short dress with even tinier undershorts and boots in autumn, but you couldn’t think about anything else to put on.

With only a leather jacket to warm off your body, your eyeliner, smudged, dark makeup and heavy jewelry mirrored the girl standing in front of you, and you can’t help but smile.

You’d fit in well.

“Excuse me?” Ningning exclaims, frowning in disbelief.

“I want to come with you.” You repeat yourself, holding your own hands nervously. “You’ve changed, Ning. I’m not stupid… I just want to understand. Would you show it to me, please?”

You hate the way she’s looking at you, like she’s still deciding whether to allow yourself into her new world. You also hate the way your voice cracks, always vulnerable when it comes to her.

After minutes of staring, Ning decides to give you a chance. Shrugging, she leaves you alone on the sidewalk as she returns to her garage, shoving a helmet into your chest.

“Fine. But say anything funny, and I’ll leave you there alone. Got it?” You nod, trying not to feel hurt by her indifference towards you.

After a few clumsy attempts, you manage to hop in on her fancy bicycle, hands trapped tightly on her thin waist. You often spied on Ning going out with a dark motorbike you were sure her parents hadn’t bought her. However, as the two of you go at full speed through the night, you feel like you understand her a little better: it’s so freeing, to just ride on the freeway as the wind messes up your hair. You laugh, hugging her tighter, the only thought crippling your mind being over how beautiful the moon looked in the cloudless night, alone in all its glory.

Before you register, Ningning parks her bike carefully. If not for the fact that the place was absolutely crowded, you wouldn’t be able to tell this was the place she’s been sneaking out too frequently. It’s simple: just many cars parked in a circle, occupying the large freeway as people stand against them like ants. You guess someone must’ve blocked the way so no unwanted cars would drive by, but that was a lucky guess.

Nevertheless, you’re struck by a sudden heat wave — being surrounded by a fairly large, energetic crowd was enough for you to feel your face getting warmer, much to your liking. The atmosphere was lively, electricity hanging in the air almost palpably. It was as if everyone were anticipating, waiting for something, and you were nearly sure Ning was involved in that.

“There.” She motions to the right area of the crowd, waving to someone unknown to you. “Let’s go.”

You try to act cool as she grabs your hand to guide you through the crowd, failing terribly. The truth is, it’s been months since she’s talked to you, touched you properly. Perhaps you missed Ningning much more than you could admit, judging by the serotonin boost you’d gotten by a mere touch from her.

Ning stops in front of a black Dodge, where three girls stand with bored looks. They’re all wearing black and red, in some sort of subtle color coordination. You notice Ning’s outfit follows the theme, too, her crimson crop top standing out from her black pants and leather jacket.

“You’re late, Ningning.” Giselle says, not bothering to look at you as she chews on her gum, hands brushing her hair ever so flawlessly. She’s beautiful — they all are, and there’s something in the way they pose; as if they’re royalty around the place.

“Hello to you too, Gigi.” Ning answers her, not affected by her dismissal in the slightest. Your best friend gestures to the other girls, then, giving your hand a squeeze. Even though it wasn’t needed anymore, she was still holding on to you. “Those are Karina and Winter.” They bow slightly, acknowledging your presence. “Girls, this is Y/n”.

The trio share a knowing look at the mention of your name. As if a spell had been cast upon them, the girls are all over you, swirling, giggling and speaking all at once.

“It was about time we met you, Y/n”. Winter giggles, resting her head on Karina’s shoulder.

“Right?” Giselle shakes her head, suddenly interested in the conversation, with her condescending tone. “Took Ningning long enough to bring you to the Underworld.”

The Underworld. The name alone is enough for you to shiver, shrinking under your oversized jacket. Like a reflex, you turn to your best friend, brows furrowed and mind seeking for answers. “The Underworld?”

As soon as she opens her mouth to explain, she’s dragged away by Karina, who sighs. “Tell her all about it later, Ningning. Giselle was right, you really are late, and we have to enroll you in today’s race right now.”

Ning stares at Winter with a serious look, waiting until the bob-haired girl nods to leave. “Take care of her while I’m gone.” Shooting you an apologetic look, Ning follows Karina to the heart of the crowd, not at all uncomfortable as you lose her amidst the sea of unknown faces.

You’ve been warned about such places before, ones where people go to lose themselves and do things they shouldn’t. Even though it’s dark, you’re able to see what every group is occupying themselves with, always good to notice details in a crowd. Some drinking, smoking, others doing drugs that were too explicit for such an open space. Many people acted borderline pornographic, too, engaged in heavy make out sessions and touching places that had you looking away, too embarrassed to lurk.

“I’ll go breathe some air.” You tell Winter, who’s now sitting on the hood of the car, furiously typing on a computer as big as her head. She must’ve grabbed it from the passenger’s seat while you were busy looking around, horrified.

You expect her to protest, specially since Ning had been clear in her words, but the small girl doesn’t even look at you for more than three seconds before answering, still heavily focused on the screen that lights her face. “Okay.”

Before she’s even finished, you turn around and dodge people as best as you can, barging towards the woods located on the edge of the road without hesitation. You walk until the lively event is just a faint noise, crippling your ears like a bug on a hot, sticky day.

Now, being able to breathe the cold air of the night properly and free from the demons of the night, you try to understand your best friend. Ning has always been a free spirit, independent and strong-willed. But, while her wild nature did stir up some trouble in your community, she’s always been welcomed and loved. That’s how a family worked, right? You might fight, but you also sort things out, eventually.

The sound of dry leafs being stepped on startles you, but you’re soon at ease once you see Ningning’s silhouette coming out of the darkness. She sits by your side, both looking at the moon instead of facing each other.

She must be afraid too, you reckon. Of you judging her choices, turning your back on her like her family did, the moment she changed her attitude.

Well, you did judge, but you’d never leave her alone. You love her too much to do so, even if you couldn’t quite understand her ulterior motives.

Ning looks beautiful under the moonlight, her long hair shiny as she plays with her own fingers, hesitant to speak up. Her hair is one of the last things she’s kept true to herself after this sudden change. You let your hands run through, reminiscing the times when, not matter how impatient, she’d let you comb and style it.

Such memories must’ve been going through her mind, too, in a reassurance of the bond you shared. Gathering courage, she turned her face to you, smiling faintly.

“Illegal fights and street races. That’s what we do here in the underworld, that’s what it’s about.” Ning keeps you from interrupting her, already aware of what you’re going to ask. “I’ve seen people do some darker shit, yeah, like drugs and stuff, but the girls and I stay far away from that. It’s not something you can deal with without falling into a hole, you know. And I’m not trying to dig myself a grave or anything.”

You breathe in deeply, acknowledging everything she’s said. It’s like you’re walking on thin ice: one phrase worded wrongly, and she’d shut herself off from you for good.

So you choose the safest route. “And… the girls? You, hm, you all race?”

Ning relaxes instantly at your words. Her shoulders fall off, glad you didn’t start screaming at her or trying to brainwash her guts. She expected a far worse reaction.

Shaking her head, her tone is a little more excited as she answers. “I’m the only racer of the group. Giselle fixes the mechanics, Winter does the stats, and Karina handles the bets and closes off the deals. They are my girls, Y/n. My family.”

You stand up, unconsciously walking around in little circles as you tried to think of the right words to not scare off your best friend. The truth is, this whole Underworld thing was not only scary — it terrified you to know Ning had found herself in such a place. She needed to think through all of this situation, and realize she was losing herself badly, walking into a path set for destruction. She needed help, and she so desperately needed to come to her true senses. You had to save Ning from herself, and you’d do just that.

“We’ll take you back.” The words come out without you really thinking through, not at all as careful as you wish to be. You turn around completely to face Ning, only to find her already staring, her big eyes as cloudy as ever. “We know you’re sorry, Ning, it’s ok. Just… let us go back, then it will all be just like before.”

She lifts her brows, and she takes a few steps towards you, not stopping until you’re trapped, back hitting the trunk of a tree.

“I’m not sorry for what I’ve done, Y/n.” She’s angry, and you hate seeing her mad. Specially at you. Ning never got mad at you. “I’m sorry that we were born in this shitty ass town with so many rich fuckers, and I’m sorry that stupid community has brainwashed you so much they can control you as they please. I apologize for being distant because I know it hurts you, but besides that, I’ve done nothing wrong.”

She’s breathless from speaking with such fervor, both of her hands placed on each of your sides so you have no way of escaping.

And even though you gulp, you force your body to not have any fear. It’s Ningning: your best friend, your soulmate. She’d never hurt you.

She’d never.

“Ning.” You look down, failing to hide the tremor in your voice. “Ning, let me go.”

Something in her eyes shift the moment she noticed the fear in your voice. Her pupils are wide blown, and her smile is just wrong, staring at you from head to toe. Suddenly, you’re hyper aware of the wind messing with your very short dress, and how hot you feel, despite the cool weather.

Somehow, you get the feeling she’s thinking the same thing, too. Time stops as her eyes fall to your lips, and she’s on top of you in a blink. Kissing, tugging, licking… Ning’s desperation is something you can taste, and it’s written all over. This kiss is not like the sweet, chaste experiences you’ve had before. Ning kisses you like a woman starved, taking until there’s no air left, and your lungs are burning, claiming for relief.

Her kiss is venomous, so sinful you fear what you’d do if you experience it again.

“W-what the fuck, Ning! Why’d you do that?” You manage to say, crossing your arms over your chest to try to get some distance between you. “This wrong, Ning. This isn’t y—“

“Did they send you here?” She ignores your words completely, hands assaulting your body as you move against her. “Is that it? Are they that fucking desperate, really?”

Perhaps you’re weak, maybe she’s been putting some work in the gym, but the truth is she doesn’t move an inch, no matter how much try to pull her away. If anything, it only brings her closer to you, that wicked smirk still on her face.

“What? They… no! Of course not. I came because I want to understand you.” Her accusations hurt, even though you know she’s not entirely wrong. The truth is, Ning’s too smart for her own good.

Surprisingly, her fingers are delicate as they brush one of your shoulders, playing with your dress sleeve before letting it slide midway, enough for it to expose yourself to the dark night. You shiver, not only due to the winds that cause your nipples to harden, but also because of the girl who stares at you like a woman starved. She’s salivating, and you watch her every breath until she lowers her head and latches her mouth onto one of your boobs, her teeth teasingly picking on your nipples.

It’s as if you’ve been electrocuted. Your back arches, and you try even harder to let go of the hand that’s keeping yours clasped together so tightly it hurts, but you can’t set yourself free. Did her touches always feel like that? So wrong, yet so… good, you look forward to more?

“Stop, p-please. Ning, my b-boyfriend…” It’s all you’re able to mutter, choosing to keep your mouth shut. You’re too afraid of the sounds that might come out of your lips if you continue speaking.

You’ve never felt like this before. This tingling sensation, erupting to all your body — specially to your core. The warmth that eloped your body like you were too close to the sun. It felt good, Ning’s touches are so good you _itch_ with need.

It’s no surprise you’ve touched yourself before. You were no saint, either. However, it has never felt anything close to that. You would never be able to mimic Ning’s hands, cupping your breasts, pinching your waist, forcefully opening your legs to keep her knee seated between them… all while still trapping you, the burning sensation in your hands serving as a lively reminder of the situation you were currently in.

“Your boyfriend, yes. That fucking idiot.” Ning’s hands go straight to the hem of your shorts, forcing them down. “He’s never touched you like that, right Y/nnie? Surely, you’d tell me. I’m your best friend, after all.”

Tears start to cloud your vision as her hands pull down your shorts, fingers going all the way under your dress to find the bare skin of your abdomen. She scratches it slightly, even though you find yourself still struggling vigorously against her touches.

“Ning, you don’t know what you’re doing. I’m sorry, please s-stop…” Ning huffs, annoyed by your attempts to get her off you.

“No, Y/n. I know exactly what I’m doing.” She laughs as her teeth scratch your shoulder, and then she bites. It’s so unexpected you scream, ashamed to admit that her harsh touches are the reason your insides are embarrassingly wet. “I bet you’ve touched yourself thinking of me, too. God, Y/n. You act like you’re this good little example to others, but I know you better than anyone. You’re such a dirty, hungry whore.”

Ning’s salivating, her wet mouth leaving a trail of saliva on your skin as you stop moving against her chest. Instead, you let your head rest on the corner of her neck, biting your mouth so hard you feel the metallic taste of blood in your tongue. Ning notices it, too — her eyes have never stopped observing you attentively, not from the moment she’s met you for the first time. Grabbing your neck possessively, she pulls you in for another hungry, aggressive kiss, her tongue forcing its way over your mouth until your taste was all hers to delight herself with, too.

Without an alibi to hide your pleasure, you moan against her lips, chest moving rapidly with the adrenaline. You feel her smile, too.

This doesn't seem right, in any way. Your best friend, forcing you to surrender against her wishes and talking to you like you were nothing… it is all wrong, deeply wrong.

But why is she making you feel so alive? Why is the burning sensation that expands over every inch of your skin so addicting?

If it’s so wrong, why does it feel so good?

“Does he touch you like this?” Ning asks with a sultry tone, as her fingers toy with your folds. The anticipation drives you insane, only intensifying your arousal. You gasp at the sensation of her fingers in your cunt, hovering and so close to where you need her. Your silence irritates her, clearly. “Answer me, whore.”

Her hands, God — her hands leave your cunt so quickly and reach out for your throat, squeezing on your pulse point with such precision you nearly cum on the spot. You feel lightheaded, unable to think about anything but how alive Ning makes you feel. In fact, it’s her touches that ground you again, reminding you of what is happening.

She kisses your jaw, her tone dripping with fake-sweetness as she murmurs. “Tell me what I already know, Y/n. Say it.”

With that, you’re aware of your current situation: Ning’s getting inside your head, distracting you with pleasure until you’re dumbed down enough to surrender to her wishes.

When did she become so evil?

“Stop— touching me.” You say, turning your head away from her. Still, you can’t help but obey, even though your voice is barely audible as you add. “You know the answer, already.”

Ning’s hand slides through your body, taking her time to grope, scratch and pinch as she pleases until she’s cupping your cunt again, her motion too sweet for the harsh way she’s been acting towards you. Two of her fingers go to your slit, taking all the air from your longs as she shoves them in and out slowly, savoring the sensation both for herself and for you. And you’re _wet_ — so much her fingers slide easily, despite your lack of experience. It’s as though time had stopped: the animals have stopped making noises, the wind has stopped humming and all the people at the street have quieted. All you can hear is Ning’s breathing, just as erratic as you, and the lewd sounds coming out from your cunt.

It feels so good, you wonder how you've lived all this time without Ningning touching you like that. Like you were a secret gemstone she was more than ready to unravel.

“If you want me to stop touching you, then why are you so fucking wet?” She asks, cocky as you whimper under her. Your legs feel like jelly, and suddenly you’re so glad for the tree you’re relying on, and Ning’s leg between your thighs, forcing them open. “No, Y/n. You know damn well what you want. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.” Her following words are what break you. As your thumb meets your clit, she adds, “You’re as rotten as me, filthy girl. I just choose not to run from myself anymore.”

You want to deny it. There’s nothing more you want than to pull Ning back and scream at her face, talking about how insufferable she’s become and how much of an asshole she was. But your brain has long been turned into mush, focused on only one thing: gathering the crippling sensation that was forming in your lower abdomen and let it explode, turning it into a mind-blowing wave of pleasure. It’s all you’ve ever wanted: to cum. Nothing else really matters.

You don’t even recognize yourself, clinging onto Ning as if your life depended on it. Her skilled fingers don’t stop their motion on your slit as her thumb applies more pressure to your clit, circling it harshly, so fast it makes your eyes roll to the back of your skull with pleasure. It feels unlike anything you’ve ever felt before: every inch of your body boils, and you’ve never wanted so bad to just explode.

Faint screams fill the background, with Ning’s name being called repeatedly, surely from the girls looking for her. However, you don’t pay them any mind. The only sounds coming out of your mouth are loud, sinful moans — the most beautiful melody to Ning’s ears.

“N-ning…” You whine, carving your nails onto your best friend’s skin. Sweat gathers in your forehead as you feel your orgasm close, but you’re too stubborn to say anything to her.

Ning knows you well, though. Your muscles tense, and you cum as she keeps her strokes hard and fast, just what you need to explode into waves of pleasure. It hits so good you scream, legs shaking as she holds you as if you weight nothing, keeping you from falling onto the dust. White dots dance around your vision, fireworks exploding inside you as the orgasm washes through your body, in rhythmic waves of pleasure.

It was borderline addicting.

“Ningning! There you are, fucker. We’ve been looking for ages.” Karina’s body appears from the darkness, her impeccable frame easy to distinguish from anything else. You’re so fucked out it takes you a few seconds to register her presence; by then, Ning has already covered you, adjusting your dress back on with precise movements. “Don’t be irresponsible just because of some pussy, dude! You’re up in five, come on.”

You don’t miss the way Karina’s eyes stare at your body, not an ounce of shame in her pretty face. However, you don’t feel ashamed to have her attention on you. If anything, you can feel your face blushing, your body slowly feeling hot again.

Lust is a dangerous thing, indeed.

Ning doesn’t miss Karina’s cue either, judging by the way she scoffs. Dismissing her with an annoyed tone, Ning mutters, “I said I was coming.” She gestures to the trees and the wild bushes, then. “You can lead the way.”

Karina laughs, not missing her last opportunity to address you, as she turns around and waves. “Bye, Y/n. I hope you’re around more often.”

You giggle, too, amazed by how she camouflages herself so easily, lost amidst the night and the forest.

Still, the girl in front of you captures all of your attention. Like always, she’s already staring, her brown hair messy from your making out.

“This is the real world, Y/n. I’m not going back.” She says, not leaving any space for discussion. You know that tone too well; Ning’s already made her choice, and it wasn’t the one you wanted her to pick. With big, sad eyes, she adds, “I wish you would free yourself, too.”

Her delicate tone breaks your heart. Deep down, you know she means it. Ning’s following what she believes in, and she wishes she could share her world with you, too.

She walks away without looking back, sure of who she was and what she wanted for her future.

With a heavy sigh, you follow her towards the highway once again.

You’d follow her through it all.

#sol writes #kpop x reader #kpop smut #kpop x y/n #aespa x fem reader #aespa smut #aespa x reader #aespa x yn #aespa x you #ningning x reader #ningning smut #ning yizhuo smut #ning yizhuo x reader #ning yizhuo x yn #ning smut

[baskeigh-ball]

God I love that swap au, especially with Raph. Cause like he's always the one to take the heavy hits for the team, he's used to an even encourages people to test his durability/strength at times. So to now be in a body that's suddenly the exact opposite would make me want to wrap myself in 50 layers of bubble wrap and never leave

As one of the many vocal Raph enthusiasts on this site, YES EXACTLY YOU SEE MY VISION

It was the obvious choice for Raph to be in Don's body because it has so much potential! He's has to force himself not to be the shield now!! He's going against a lifetime of Toughest Biggest Brother Instincts because he's not the toughest biggest brother anymore!!!

He figures out why Donnie is so obsessed with his tech--which, he had a basic understanding before, but now he REALLY gets it. A softshell has very few natural defenses. He can get hurt much more easily, so he uses a battle shell to pick up the slack. But I can imagine Raph becoming waay too attached to the shell. Even though it goes haywire sometimes because he has no clue how it works, it becomes his security blanket.

Not to mention his strategy in battle is completely overhauled because he's not the Punchy Guy anymore. Well, he's still a heavy hitter, but he has to rely on technology instead of his own raw mystic strength. So he's basically rendered useless, at least by his own logic, because what good is Donnie without Donnie's brain?

He never thinks that about Donnie tho, in fact he and Mikey and Leo have spent years trying to uplift their brother and make him know that his self-worth is not attached to what he can offer to the team. But, of course, Raph doesn't cut himself the same slack. I can also imagine him slightly resenting the others for having an easier time adjusting to their different weaponry, meanwhile he's left with high-tech armor that never listens to him and tries to kill him just as often as it protects him. Just saying, it's inevitable that he snaps eventually but that's another story for another day

Sorry for ranting, I have too many thoughts about the silly red turtle and it comes out in the form of word vomit since I have nowhere else to shout into the void about my obsession with him lmao

#surprise surprise- i made another au because i wanted to focus it on my favorite red turtle #sorry to anyone following me that prefers leo or donnie #this account is raph and mikey All The Way #(but mostly raph) #rottmnt #asks open #rottmnt mind swap #mind swap drabbles

[keshetchai]

Greetings Friend,

I hope you can help me

How did you go about learning Hebrew? As in what resources, classes, books etc. did you use to get a handle on the language?

I really struggle with languages, so I was hoping you had some advice or tips.

As a bit of background, I am currently a conversion student, going on almost 2.5 years now. I have long since completed the formal learning requirement with my synagogue (conservative) and according to my rabbis, I am free to attend the Beit Din and Mikvah whenever I so choose.

I know my neshama is Jewish, I know this is who I am/supposed to be. I know because of some unusual childhood experiences, and then when I started converting most aspects of the learning and practices came so naturally (granted nowhere near an orthodox level of observance, which isn’t necessarily the goal at this time, but certainly not something I am opposed to perusing) except for the languages.

As previously stated my rabbis say it is okay but something is holding me back from taking that final plunge (lol), and I believe it’s the language.

I still bench in English, and find it really stressful to attend services because I can barely muddle my way around the liturgy, or songs during a Shabbat dinner.

Of course this is just a personal hang up, and absolutely no criticism or shame on anyone else who converted without knowing/knowing very little of the language. Just, for some reason it just doesn’t feel right. I cannot bring myself to say I am actually a member of this wonderful, beautiful tribe before I have overcome this hurdle.

So… any advice?

A few answers for you, the first is most important:

Very Early On in my studying, one of the two rabbis at my synagogue wasn't leading and so she sat in the back, and I decided to sit next to her because i was still finding my footing in the basic service.

And at one point, it may have been for mi hamocha, the cantor starts with a NEW tune I don't know, and I'm still relying on the transliteration entirely and was still trying to memorize the FIRST tune.

And my rabbi leans over and whispers to me: "I have never heard this tune before in my life either."

And the anxiety broke, then. I didn't know this version for the song already and I was lost. But the rabbi sitting next to me also didn't know this tune.

Being Jewish is about always learning something new, even if you are encountering the same thing you've seen or done before dozens or hundreds of times. THAT is being Jewish. Rereading the same book every year and the same passages over and over, but still being a little lost or even finding something you never knew before?

That is being a Jew.

Jews may open a siddur and know what they'll find there, but we do not open it and expect to know everything about how that material is used or applied. And we don't feel a guarantee that life will not teach us something new today, or that someone's minhag won't be totally different from ours. Jews may know the Torah, they may even choose to memorize the mitzvot by heart, but we don't expect this memorization will ensure we never have a halakhic question in life!

So you see, the big scary fact is this: you might become a fluent reader of prayer book Hebrew, you might someday daven entirely in Hebrew, or even graduate rabbinical school, but still sometimes be thrown into being a stranger to something, even something you thought you knew.

But when you identify this and then embrace it, it becomes less scary and part of your Jewish identity. Being perfectly settled, fixed in your knowledge or your thinking or your skills — it honestly doesn't feel terribly Jewish to me.

And for many people born as Jews this can manifest as a type of reflexive embarrassment or self-consciousness for failing at jewishness somehow or having less knowledge for one reason or another. It can make folks defensive or ashamed or feel frustrated for the disconnect. I'm here to tell you that as converts we get the chance to illustrate joyfully that no Jew knows everything Jewish, and that is the experience of being Jewish. The biggest thing holding any of us back from learning the things we don't know is

a) being afraid to seem not Jewish enough or

b) being afraid to not know something

I have excellent news for your (and my) anxiety:

A) almost all Jews worry about how Jewish they seem in some fashion or another so that's normal and,

B) since only hashem knows everything, our job is to not know everything, but to be willing to learn anything. Also we're better in numbers! Two heads are better than one and a minyan is better than that! Everyone doesn't know something, but none of us are alone as Jews. Which is why we become Jewish in community, and not alone. Because someone else might know what we don't!

Get it?

Step #1: you have to jump feet first into not already knowing something perfectly and start knowing less but learning more.

If you are reading the English words and English translations to daven, this means you need to stop. This was your training wheel. And you are not finding your own balance relying on it.

If your siddur has transliterations of the hebrew, bring a little index card next time and cover up the English as you daven for a start. I familiarized myself with the Hebrew because I was saying everything in Hebrew out loud every single time. Once you know the shema by heart more or less (for example), all you have to do is learn the alphabet to prompt your memory to progress further in your Hebrew learning.

That's how kids learn any language. We speak before reading as children. So speak and chant and sing in Hebrew. Whisper the Hebrew. As you get more comfortable, learning to read Hebrew will be an exercise you can even do during the middle of shabbat.

Because you know what the prayer says, and you just need to match the words you see to the sounds you know.

Step #2: know the aleph bet before you attempt reading comprehension of all words.

Things that I used to learn the aleph bet:

Hebrew scripts (the app by drops)

Write it! Hebrew app

Victoria Hanna's The Aleph Bet Song (Hosha'na) because uh she sings the aleph bet and pronounces it

Behrman House Books: Hineni: prayerbook Hebrew for adults; aleph isn't tough! For adults. The kids stuff is good too, I'm not ashamed to say I own "time to read Hebrew!" 1&2

(The Hebrew by inbal on Amazon looks new but good possibly?)

If you want a siddur set up specifically to practice matching transliteration and Hebrew aleph bet, I recommend Chayim Alevsky's My Siddur (choose the minhag variant you use! I bought the Sephardic/Israeli as I don't use ashkie pronunciations.

There will be slight differences of you're used to liberal inclusion of say, the matriarchs, but in general this is a solid practice book for anyone. Transliteration is given word by word, with full word blocks reading in the same direction as Hebrew. At the bottom of the page certain (possibly newer to the learner) words will be defined.

It also now has an app which looks like this:

So you see this is pairing the reading direction of Hebrew words with the sounds spelled out in English to strengthen your Hebrew. If you try to read the transliteration in the English direction word by word, you'll be reading it backwards and starting with v'kayahm, instead of "modeh" (or "modah" feminine). Further even if you're starting correctly with modeh, the English word is still left to right over the Hebrew right to left. so this forces you to be attentive to the Hebrew itself and slow down word by word!

The layout in the print versions means you can cover up the transliteration to test your learning of certain words, and only check if you forget.

I still am not perfect at everything and I truthfully attentively practice Chinese far more than Hebrew reading, but this is what helped me.

Good luck!

[grandeoatmilklatte]

Saturday Morning Snails 🐌 (Garreth Weasley x F!MC)

Was in desperate need of some Garreth inspiration, and the incredible @ellivenollivander decided to help me. She created a random mood board and told me to try and write a Garreth fic based around it and it worked! Enjoy!

Warnings: Fluff with some very slight NSFW implications || characters are over 18!

Word Count: 1.0k

Golden rays of sunshine poured through the open window, pulling the sleeping girl out of her deep slumber. She rolled over, deeming it too early to wake up, even though she had no idea what time it was. Not that the time mattered anymore to her - she had nowhere to go. 

On Monday, she had lost her job, the small bookstore she worked at needing to cut down their staff due a slowdown in sales. It was now Saturday, and she had spent the week in the exact same routine - sleeping all morning, waking up in the early afternoon, moping around all day until Garreth came home from work, fixing him dinner, and then moping around all evening until it was time for bed. She didn’t have the energy or desire to do anything else. Typically on a Saturday morning, she’d welcome the rays of sunshine pouring into her window, always taking a moment to gaze out into the lush green trees of the forest that surrounded their countryside home; but today, not even the beautiful scenery outside made her happy. 

She rolled over again, her foot bumping a solid mass that meowed at her. She sat up and tossed her blanket aside to find their orange cat at her feet. “Oh, Orange Juice, I’m sorry to have woken you.” She picked him up in her arms, hugging him before placing him on her thighs, where he readjusted himself to go back to sleep. 

The purring from her feline friend warmed her heart, giving her a burst of serotonin, something she hadn’t had in days. 

“Hey, I should be the only ginger in your lap like that!” Garreth jokingly shouted at his girlfriend as he entered their bedroom and climbed on the bed. The stupid joke caused the girl to let out a soft laugh. 

“Aw there’s my happy girl! It’s been a bit since I’ve heard you laugh.”

She looked up at Garreth, struggling to smile and fighting back tears, but she didn’t have to fight long, as Garreth pulled her into a hug, his arms providing her comfort and safety when she felt like her world was falling apart around her. She nuzzled into his neck and hugged him back as one of his hands came up to stroke her hair. After holding her for several seconds, Garreth pulled back. 

“I made you breakfast, sweetheart! Let me bring it for you so you can eat it in bed. You look far too comfy for me to make you go to the kitchen for it.” 

Without another word, Garreth jumped off the bed, the action startling Orange Juice, causing him to move to another position at the foot of the bed. Garreth came back a moment later, a dumb smile on his face, with a plate in one hand, and a cup of coffee in the other. He set the coffee on her nightstand, and the plate in her lap. The girl looked down to find some oddly shaped pancakes, needing a moment to determine what shape they were. 

“Darling, are these…snails?” 

“Yes! While I was making breakfast, I saw a snail on our windowsill. I named him Gregory. He inspired me to make these snail shaped pancakes because I, well me and Gregory that is, thought they’d help cheer you up! When I woke up this morning, I promised myself that I was going to spend this Saturday making you feel better.”

She smiled at Garreth. Even when times got tough, she could always rely on him to put a smile on her face. She loved Garreth, and she knew that Garreth loved her. As she began to enjoy her snail shaped pancakes, Garreth spoke, talking as if he could read his girlfriend’s mind. 

“I love you, sweetheart! Don’t ever forget that. Don’t forget that I’m here. I’ll always be here. I know things have been tough for you. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make it all better. Unfortunately, there are some limitations to our magic. So instead, I’ll just be the best boyfriend I can be to you. As long as we have each other, we can get through anything!”

The girl fought back tears again, but this time it was tears of joy as she threw her arms around Garreth and kissed him, almost sending her plate of snails crashing to the floor. Garreth’s quick reflexes saved the plate, him delicately placing the plate on the nightstand as he kissed her back. 

She felt Garreth’s tongue press against her lips, silently asking for entry. She parted her lips, greeting Garreth’s tongue with her own. He placed his hand on her lower back, adjusting her so that she was laying down, his lips never leaving hers as he climbed on top of her. He began to slip his hand up her night dress when a “meow” next to them broke Garreth’s concentration. 

“Ugh, sorry Juicy! You need some breakfast too! Just lay there and be pretty, baby, I’ll be right back!” Garreth scooped Orange Juice in his arms, earning himself an annoyed meow as he hopped off the bed and dashed off to the kitchen. 

She laid on the bed as Garreth requested, smiling to herself. Garreth was right - as long as they had each other, they could get through any hardship life threw their way. He loved her, and would support her through anything, as she would do for him.

As promised, Garreth returned a moment later, tossing himself on the bed to resume his position on top of her. The entire bed shook when he jumped, which brought a fit of laughter out of her.

“I love you, baby!” He said softly as he planted a kiss on her forehead. He gave her a sweet smile for a moment, before that sweet smile turned into a mischievous one. “Now then, where were we?” He said as his hand slid back up her night dress. After all, Garreth had made a promise to make her feel better this Saturday, and the pancakes were only the beginning. 

–

#garreth weasley #garreth weasley x mc #weasley wednesday #garreth weasley x you

[love-kurdt]

Swooping, Sloping, Cursive Letters: 11

word count: 1,194

PLEASE READ THIS IS ME TRYING FIRST, AS THIS STORY RELIES HEAVILY UPON THE CONTEXT OF TIMT

July 28, 1988

Dear Will,

Tonight was… well, it was something else. Not how I expected it to go. I had gone to bed super early, since all our late night walkie conversations have been catching up to me. But you obviously had other plans. I woke up to the sound of light tapping on my bedroom window. I was so thrown off, since I’m usually the one sneaking out in the middle of the night, but there you were at 1am, hunched over my window sill, wearing a The Cure tee shirt and a pair of gym shorts. I still don’t know how you’re able to just walk around at night in such light clothing; I’d bundled up in preparation to sleep tonight because summer nights always get super cold out of nowhere, and I turn into an icicle otherwise. “What are you doing here?” I’d asked stupidly as I let you in. You grinned up at me and asked, “Wanna go somewhere?” You had that mischievous gleam in your eyes that never fails to make me simultaneously nervous and excited. When I’d asked what place you had in mind, you simply shook your head, insisting upon the location being a surprise.

I asked you if you wanted a sweatshirt or something before we headed out, you shook your head, insisted that you were fine… and then you shivered. I smirked down at you with a look that said, I told you so, before rifling through my closet to pull out a hoodie and toss it in your direction. As I watched you put my sweatshirt on, I got the feeling I always get whenever you wear (or steal) my clothes— the closest word I can use to describe it is possessiveness. The good kind, I promise. It gives me purpose– purpose for you, specifically– which is kind of my kryptonite, if I’m being honest. So, with that said, please feel free to take my whole wardrobe. Cool? Cool.

We stealthily made it out of my window and down onto the ground without dying, and then we grabbed our bikes before making our great escape. We biked out into the night, wind whipping through our hair, and I just felt so free. And for a second, just a split second, I imagined what it would be like if we were together, and we were sneaking off to make out in the woods or something. That would be so romantic. Or scary. I don’t know, but a guy can dream, right? Okay, I’m getting off topic.

We ended up sitting at the top of the cliff at the quarry, a place familiar to the both of us, but more haunting to me, if anything. I still haven’t told you the full backstory about what happened that day with Troy, James, Dustin, and El. I don’t think I ever will, to be honest. You’d just blame yourself for what I did. And that’s the last thing I want. Anyway, we sat there for 3 hours and talked about anything and everything. At one point, I asked you if you thought falling in love was in the cards for us. 

“What?” you said, turning to me with wide eyes. I realized then that it sounded like I had asked if you thought we would fall in love. Honestly, I probably would have come out to you right then if it weren’t for the look of horror painted on your face. So I backtracked.

“I mean… for either of us? Like, do you think you’ll ever fall in love?”

“I mean, speaking for myself…” you replied, swinging your legs back and forth over the edge of the cliff, just like you had on the swings the first day we met, “No, I don’t think so.” I asked why, and you said, “I don’t think I’m, like, lovable. I’m too damaged.” Which is so not true, because… well, Exhibit A: Michael James Wheeler, presenting with a severe case of Down Bad.

“Same here,” I said, looking up at the stars. “God, I thought I was the only one.”

“No, Mike, you’re far from unlovable,” you told me. You turned towards me then, lifting one leg back onto the ground below us and crossing it in front of you, and reached your hand out to touch the back of mine. If you saw me blushing… no you didn’t. “First of all,” you continued, “you’re not damaged; you’re perfect, just the way you are. Secondly, how could anyone not fall in love with you?”

“Very easily, apparently,” I said automatically, and I watched your eyebrows furrow.

“…You’re talking about El,” you frowned, and I’d instantly regretted opening my mouth at all. I was actually talking about both El and you. Because El and I never truly loved each other romantically, and you… you won’t ever love me in the way I love you.

“Yeah, but—“ I made an attempt to change the subject, to distance our conversation from the topic of my love life. But I failed miserably, because you cut me off with your typical, constant reassurance and encouragement.

“Just you wait, one day you’re gonna look back on this conversation and laugh. Any person would be incredibly lucky to be with you.”

Person. Person, Will. You’re my person. That’s what I wanted to say. But instead, my dumb ass said, “You really think so?”

“Yeah,” you told me, tears forming in your eyes, and I felt like I was in the van all over again. I was fucking this up, like, majorly.

“Well, that goes for you, too, Will. Seriously,” I said. “You’re incredible, and anyone who can’t see that is… a fucking idiot.” I, out of all people, would know. I was blind to my feelings for you for years.

You glanced down at our hands, brushing your thumb over my wrist before scoffing out a sarcastic, “Eloquent, Wheeler.” And don’t think I didn’t notice those beautiful eyes of yours light up when I turned my palm upwards, linking our fingers together. I swear, it’s like our hands were meant to hold each other. 

“I’ll take the compliment, Byers,” I said, and then you changed the topic to something along the lines of how you wanted to paint the scene in front of us in the style of Van Gogh. I think you should go for it. You could totally pull it off.

We left the quarry around 4:45am, and you biked all the way back to my house with me, even though your house is in the complete opposite direction. You wrapped your arms around my waist and pulled me into a tight hug, and I held onto you right back, basking in the affection for as long as I could before it could get weird. I went right to my desk to write this as soon as you left, and now the exhaustion has crept up on me. So I’m gonna end the letter here. It’s more of a novel, actually.

I love you. I always will, Will. I know, the pun is getting really old. But the opportunity was right there.

Love,

Mike

-

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#byler #byler fanfic #byler fic #byler tumblr #mike wheeler #will byers #will x mike #mike x will #stranger things #stranger things fic

[letterstoear]

Last letter from the mountain lover's club series

Notes: Confession letter from your Jade Leech, Jade x reader, gn reader, fluff, can be read alone but for the best experience I recommend reading the previous two letters.

You can also purchase the matching item with the physical copy of the letter here: Mountain Lover's club Volume 3

Letter 1 | Letter 2 | Letter 3

My dearest _______,

I’ve been trying to trace my steps back to the moment I fell for you, and I’ve finally figured it all out. You wouldn’t think at first glance, but us moray eels are cowards. While I hate to admit it, I’m no exception. Hence, the reason I’ve chosen to write a confession letter. Please read everything closely.

I never believed in having anything romantic love before nor did I imagine a traveling companion to be all that interesting. My days had been satisfying enough. The feeling of discovering the new and unexpected life on those mountains was enchanting. Then, came the day you arrived at my dorm. My heart nearly stopped with how shocked I was to find you rushed over to hear about the Mountain Lover’s Club. Such a feeling remains burned into me till this very day. Even if you were to drown the memory it would remain crystal clear. Such a feeling is treasured deeply in my heart, but who wouldn’t? You were my very first member of course. Those around me doubted I could get someone to join, but I knew one would show up. It only took a little bit of time.

To me you are irreplaceable as a club member and as a person. I’ve come to love you in both ways. During the time we weren’t together, nothing felt the same. The mountains had been more dull than normal. I couldn’t feel anything other than a small tug of curiosity. In comparison to the travels, we did together an empty feeling washed over me. What happened to the once colorful mountains?

To investigate this curiosity, we signed a contract of observation. Your eyes gleamed with a look of curiosity as we sorted through the deal. I desperately clung onto the idea of you being curious about my feelings. Perhaps you shared the same unknown feeling. Following these short two weeks I concluded as to how I felt. _________, I never needed the full two weeks to observe you. I, in fact, discovered my feelings of love for you within that first week.

What had it been that I loved about you? My mind couldn’t form the right answer. Yet, I am now fully aware, allow me to list out a few. Your presence, for starters, is rather impactful for me. I feel safe when I’m with you. _____________, I can lower my guard around you without worry of being attacked. What’s more is you see right through me. Rather entertaining. Since when did my clueless _______ become so sharp? That’s not to say I can’t go teasing you. In fact, I find myself wanting to tease you more often as you react in a charming manner. I do love how I can play tricks on you who are still naive enough to fall for it. Plus, you even get bold enough to playfully tease me with your own games.

However, this feeling is nowhere to be seen with anyone but yourself. See, I tried several of the same games I did with you towards Azul. There was an incredible lack of excitement. I enjoy your reactions precisely because I love you. Had it been anyone else, well, I wouldn’t feel the same. I find everything about you to be so dear because I love you. This feeling of mine has grown even stronger now that I’ve discovered the truth.

I know we’ve met on strange terms, but my love for isn’t strange. It’s incredibly sincere. ____________, I love you. Please consider being my lover, I promise to hold you tight and bring new ideas to life with you. Having met you was the start of a wonderful new beginning. Not only did I gain a new club member, but someone who I can rely on. I want to feel a world with you in it. I love you _____________. I need to know how you feel towards me, even if by some crazy chance it’s not the same.

With hopes of love,

Jade Leech

#twst #twisted wonderland #jade leech #jade x reader #octavinelle #the final one #letter #I've finally finished it #fluff #romance #gn reader #mountain lover's club

[sparrowrye]

Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, A3 part 11

Synopsis: Alastor disappeared for 8 years, leaving you confused, crushed, and angry. You spent those years building up your new self and protecting the haven from dangers left and right. What will happen when he returns to the new changes? Will he return anytime soon? Could you even go back to the way things were?

Previous part

Part 11: have my attention

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well then, are you two ready?" Lucifer turned his attention back to us.

"Why are we making this a big deal?" I questioned.

Vox laughed. "Public image is important, my dear. If we make this a big deal, neither of us will have any problems in Hell or on the Surface." He paused and gave me a knowing look. "And it won't be because of Alastor."

I turned my head away. "What exactly are we supposed to do?"

Lucifer spoke as if he had been waiting for this day for ages. "I'll give a speech about the work you two have done, present Blackwater's soul, then cue you in together. That's that."

"Make sure you bow to him."

Vox and I both jumped at Vaggie's voice directly behind us. She had her hands on her hips like usual but this time also had a smile on her face. Charlie stood beside her with the biggest grin. The pair were dressed very similarly to Alastor and I with matching red and black.

"They don't need to do th—"

"This is important for you too, Dad," Charlie interrupted. "If two big Overlords show respect to you, then everyone else's respect goes up too. It's a win win for everyone."

I hate politics, I groaned inwardly.

That's why you leave them to me, Alastor answered.

My head snapped down the hallway but he was nowhere to be seen. What? Get out my head, Al.

Merely ensuring your safety, darling. His tone suggested mischief and smugness. He was trying to listen in case Vox tried anything.

"So, you guys ready?" Lucifer asked once more. We gave a nod and watched the King of Hell, Charlie, and Vaggie slip through the massive door.

I suddenly felt unwell. My mind began to race with anxiety and I fiddled with my dress and hair. I had gone in front of crowds numerous times before, so why was this any different? What if I fell? What if I didn't look right? What if I did the wrong thing, said the wrong thing? What if I made myself look stupid? What if I—

Easy darling, Alastor spoke calmingly. His mind brushed against mine and he sent a calming wave down my spine. I felt my shoulders relax.

"You look gorgeous," Vox said, offering his folded arm. "I'm glad you came to your senses four years ago to work with me. I've loved working with you."

I humphed and took his arm. We could hear Lucifer starting his speech. I replied, "You make it sound like we're not going to continue working together. Our deal is still on, isn't it?"

Worry crossed my mind. If Vox decided to break off the deal, it would force us to expel all technology we have come to rely on in the haven. It would mean a new, powerful enemy for us to take care of—not that Alastor wouldn't do something about it...but still.

"Of course, dear," he reassured me, "but we've talked so often because of Blackwater's legacy. We have nothing to bring us together anymore. I will miss our lovely chats."

I was surprised at how genuine he was being. His smile wasn't evil or mischievous. It was a normal smile with soft blue eyes. In another universe, maybe even in a different century of this one, could we have been friends? Could I have enjoyed his company like I enjoy Rosie's? Like Vivian, Althea, and Vilcin? How different would life be with another powerful friend at my side?

Darling. Alastor warned. He could still hear my thoughts.

Relax. I still love you.

Vox blinked as if he had been focused on something else. "You ready?" He turned to face the massive door.

I let out a shaky breath. My black wings sprouted just above the seam of my dress on my back. "I suppose."

My ears and magic strained to heighten Lucifer's voice. "With Blackwater's legacy under control, and his soul secure in my hands, I present the two Demons and Overlords who helped rid his legacy for good. I present Vox and the Dragon Demon!"

The door opened and blinding white light shone through. I forced my eyes to adjust quickly as Vox lead me onto the platform. A huge crowd stretched out at the base of the massive staircase. Beautiful chandeliers hung overhead and everything seemed to sparkle.

Claps echoed off the walls as the Hell and Surface Overlords, as well as their guests and attendees, gave their applause. I saw Alastor standing at the base of the stairs.

I kept my face at a passive smile as Vox led me down the stairs. I had my hand casually at my side to pull up the skirt of my dress just enough so my foot claws wouldn't catch it. My other hand stayed on Vox's arm. I could hear Alastor's thoughts on the contact.

Once we reached the bottom, I finally let go of both my dress and Vox's arm. A pathway had been carved out in the press of people to allow us to walk up to Lucifer. My foot claws tapped the tile and began to echo as the applause died. I suddenly felt bigger than before. The jewelry on my horns swayed with my movements, my tail slithered behind, my wings towering overhead and swayed with my step, and my sharp eyes scanned the faces as I passed.

I could see hatred, awe, and curiosity—though I saw more of hatred from the other Overlords than anything else. I didn't let that bother me as we came to stand in front of Lucifer. Vox and I bowed our heads, but I bent more at the hip to give as much respect as I could. Lucifer had been a huge help since the beginning. I owed him everything.

He bid us to rise then looked around at the crowd. "Let's enjoy the night, shall we?"

Chatter rose as attention went back to previous conversations. Lucifer gave me a sweet smile before I turned around to find Alastor already appearing at my side. His hand instantly found my hip.

"Mrs. Dragon Demon," Vox acknowledged me one last time before walking off to join the other Vees. He had made an effort not to even glance at Alastor. I could feel the effect it had on my soulmate.

"Have you seen Rosie?" I asked, drawing his attention back to me.

"I have a feeling she found us." He turned us around right as the woman came up.

"You look absolutely stunning, dearie!" Her smile was as wide and sharp as ever. Her cold hands gripped mine as she babbled on more compliments.

The ballroom was one of Lucifer's many open rooms in the palace. This one had huge glass windows framed by stone arches. The curtains were drawn but I could only imagine what it could look like if it was on the surface with the sunlight streaming in. The ceiling was just as decadent as I had thought. It had paintings of both Demons and Angels.

Along the walls were plates of food and drinks, as well as empty tables for people to stand around. I was surprisingly rooted to one of these tables as more and more Overlords and guests came up to speak with me. Some Demons introduced themselves as Overlords but were the kind that didn't have physical territory--much like Alastor before the Haven--instead choosing to own souls through other means.

Alastor was his typical self: a sarcastic jerk. He didn't let any comments or insults slide, nor did he refrain from making any himself. I was trying to earn respect not more enemies. Fortunately, his temper seemed to dull when Rosie found us again.

Why can't I have that kind of effect on him?

Luckily he was too busy chatting with her to hear that remark.

I thanked the last person I spoke with as they left and sipped on my nearly abandoned wine. I was growing used to the unfamiliar Demonic faces. There were a few that made my skin crawl because of their looks alone (a particular one with several pairs of eyes and sharp jaws like a spider came to mind).

"Good evening, dear."

I recognized the echo of Overlord Zestial.

Alastor did, too, because a shiver of panic ran down our spine. I swallowed the nerves that weren't my own as I turned to face the ridiculously tall Demon. "Good evening," I returned as I placed my glass down. Alastor did the same and put an arm around my waist. He held me tight to his side.

"Quite the feat thee've accomplished," Zestial started, "I am most impressed and quite interested in the details if you will spare them."

Alastor was deathly silent, his mind as well, as I described briefly my struggles and successes in bringing down Blackwater's remaining legacy. I left out the same information as Lucifer: the group of hidden 'pure' Humans was still out there. Blackwater had tried to recruit Reagan into his Human family, and failed. I still have no idea where they were, how well trained they were, if they use the devices Blackwater made, and/or if they have a thirst for revenge. My hope was they were too concerned with prolonging their pure bloodline to come after me.

"Quite impressive," Zestial said after I had finished. "Thee should'st be very proud, Alastor. Quite the soulmate thou hast."

"I couldn't agree more." Alastor briefly met my eyes before they snapped back up to the Overlord. His smile seemed strained. "We are a force to be reckoned with."

"Yes, a force indeed. However, I must warn thee again, Alastor. The more thee climb, the more interference thou shalt have."

If Alastor could bristle, he most certainly did in that moment. I suddenly felt very cold. Though his voice was as cheery as always and didn't give the slightest hint of his true thoughts. "She has passed the test. I am no longer the sole focus."

"You may be condemning thyself as thee continue down this path. This interference...'tis quite deadly in person."

"Rest assured we are both aware," Alastor answered. "But I must ask, what other interference should I expect?"

Zestial chuckled. I caught a glimpse of red pupils darting from me to Alastor. "None. I have fulfilled mine own share, as has thou."

I saw Alastor's shoulders relax a fraction. "Then that gives you some extra time on your hands. I do hope you thank me for it."

Again, Zestial chuckled deep in his chest and it rang in my sensitive ears. "We shall speak again, old soul. Do enjoy the night." His head turned slightly to look at me. "Twas lovely to speak with thee. I hope to have many more conversations in the future."

I nodded with a smile and watched him slither away into the crowd. Only once he had crossed to the opposite end of the room did Alastor and I both let out a breath we had been holding. My neck and upper back cracked as I took a deep breath to recover from the tense conversation. My mind was trying to translate the old language and make sense of what was just exchanged.

What interference was he talking about? I asked Alastor silently.

Angelic, he replied.

Does he know something about the Angels?

Only that they don't like Surface Overlords.

What path are you going down that he said wasn't good? 

My collection of more souls. You needn't worry, my dear. His hand moved to my back and ran all the way up my spine and to my shoulders. The warm touch was loosening my tight muscles. I could tell he was hiding more from me. He was keeping me out of that same spot in his mind that he's never let me into. It was tied to his disappearance, an incredibly sensitive conversation that always brought on fights between us.

My feet were starting to hurt. I wanted to go home and curl up in the warm, soft blankets next to him. I wanted the tension gone and blissfully believe nothing could pull us apart like that again. Even if it wasn't entirely true.

I kept Alastor out of my head while I replayed the conversation over and over. Most people had already spoken to Vox and I, and were heading out for the night. Lucifer had explicitly asked us to stay longer.

I used magic to stop the pain in my feet and lower back. Fortunately, Rosie was with us for most of the time. She and I were able to chat about the haven and about the children. Alastor just rolled his eyes.

When he and Rosie started to talk, my eyes began to wander. By wander, I mean they pointedly looked Alastor up and down. I didn't realize how much I liked seeing him in something other than the same suit, in something other than red. His shoulders seemed broader, his hair brighter, his smile wider, his claws curved perfectly, and his pants smoothly hugging his legs.

In the past few weeks, there had been an increasing amount of instances where I find it very satisfying to look at him. His clothes seemed to fit him perfectly and his smile seemed as attractive as ever, sometimes even more so. I had grown so used to his smiley face.

I particularly loved it when he was focused on something or had his eyes closed, then suddenly looked at me. Having his attention was something I came to crave.

I could tell he enjoyed the times when I wasn't "so independent". It made me want to attach us at the hip, made me want his claws all over me, made me search and subtly ask for his attention, and persuaded me to ignore some of his usual rude or snarky remarks.

He gave me a sideways glance.

I snapped my eyes back to my glass of wine. I swirled it twice then took a sip. As I did, his hand rested on my lower back. The warmth soothed the aching muscles from standing up for so long. It felt nice.

Then he went lower.

His claws touched the part of my dress where my tail started. It made me flick my tail against the tile and wrap around his ankle. He moved his hand back up and rested it on my waist. A single claw tapped lightly on the fabric.

His mind wrapped mine in a hug. My feelings grew.

Finally—finally—Lucifer found me and said I could leave at any point. He asked me a few questions about Charlie and my own children, then disappeared probably into the hallway. He had been taking periodic breaks from the crowd and chatter throughout the night. Tonight had been the most I had seen him interact with people. 

One glance to Alastor told him everything. Rosie went with us to the entrance, insisting she and I have tea again soon. I couldn't say I wanted to deny the offer--I missed our private chats. She used her own magic to teleport back to her territory while Alastor and I went back to the Surface.

I immediately sucked in the fresh, cool air and soaked in the moonlight. Going to Hell always made me more appreciative of the Surface. I couldn't imagine dying and being stuck in that realm for all of eternity. It must have been a blessing for Demonkind when the portal opened centuries ago.

My claws shortened so they wouldn't sink into the soft earth as we walked to the back door. Reagan and Lucas were out on their weekly break from the house. Certain thoughts came to mind as to why they wanted the privacy of a hotel room for the weekend. Nym and Thatcher went to one of their usual friends' house for a sleepover since we were busy for the entire evening. I gently pushed Alastor out my mind as my thoughts began to go places.

I stepped ahead of him as we walked down the narrow hallway to the staircase. I yelped when he pulled me back by my waist. His other hand came under my chin as he leaned down to meet me halfway for a kiss. One hand grabbed his wrist and the other his padded shoulder. He had me bent backwards a little.

The ferocity of the entrance of the kiss didn't match the slow break. His big red eyes opened slowly and took in my features. His pupils made small jumpy movements as he looked from my eyes to my lips.

"You ought to take responsibility for tonight." His voice was deep, surprisingly deep and gravelly. It sent a cold wave down my back.

"For what?" I asked. My eyes were taking everything in from his antlers and ears to his sharp teeth and black gums.

"Allowing you into your own spotlight without me at your side, and for all those thoughts spinning around in that mischievous mind of yours." He pushed through my shields and filled my mind again. It wasn't as invasive as it had been in the past but it was still in dominating way.

"Oh? What thoughts?" I straightened up so our faces were inches apart. His hands fell to my hip and back as his smile widened. My tail came around to rub lightly along his leg.

"Why, thoughts of me, my dear. And all the things you want me to do to you."

I had no rebuttal. I had made sure he wasn't in my head when I thought things like that. Had he somehow seen them? Or was that one of his ploys to catch me off guard? Either way, it worked.

A claw came up to hold my chin. "All you had to do was ask."

I was trying desperately to keep all my thoughts under control. I even tried pushing him out but he pushed back harder. He wasn't going to leave my mind and I wasn't exactly capable of getting rid of him either. It didn't help that half of me wanted him to keep pushing, to keep invading.

He stepped around despite the narrow hallway and pushed me against the wall. The hand on my chin left as he used it to lean against the wall. His other hand pushed my waist into the wood. The new sight of him towering over me like that caused a hiccup in my throat.

"Oh? Is this not what you were hoping for, dear?" he taunted, "because I can stop." He stepped away but my hands instinctively grabbed his waist. His eyebrows lifted and his smile turned deadly troublesome.

I leaned closer so we were brushing against each other. My tail wound around his leg a few times but the tip hovered below his suit jacket. "You know I love when your attention is on me," I giggled. He opened his mouth to say something but I beat him to it, my tail grabbing his own at the base and earning a strangled noise from his throat. His claws sharpened against my skin and I forced myself not to hiss at the pain.

"You are mischievous." The way he said it was...interesting.

"I must've learnt that from you," I purred, resting my chin on his chest but somehow managing to keep eye contact.

He chuckled and I felt it vibrate in his chest. "Like I said darling, you need to take responsibility." He reached behind and squeezed my tail hard enough that I let go of his furry one. He didn't let go of me, though, and snaked his other hand up my neck until he was gripping the back of it.

His jaw opened an inch from my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin. His tongue snuck out and barely grazed my ear. It made my whole body rigid.

Then he pulled away, my body lurching forward to chase the good feeling. He laughed and faded into his shadows, leaving me alone in the hallway. Anger and hurt filled my chest as I looked around for him.

He appeared at the base of the stairs grinning ear to ear. "I'm not quite sure you want my attention. I must be imagining things," he remarked.

My tail whipped the floor as I crossed the foyer. "I'm not so sure about that, Al. Am I making you nervous? Are you avoiding me for a reason?"

His smile almost looked proud. "Perhaps you can confirm that you wish to be intimate? You are...oh so good at hiding your emotions."

I wasn't sure if the bait was sarcastic or serious but I didn't care. I closed the distance, using magic to unbutton the suit jacket, and slid my hands along his sides to reach his back. I dragged my claws down just hard enough that he felt the prick but didn't damage his shirt or vest.

My hands reached his covered tail and firmly gripped it. His smile turned lopsided and he pressed a firm kiss in an effort to hide it. His shadow wrapped around us and shifted us up to the bedroom. When my feet touched the wood, I slipped my hands up to his shoulders and pushed off the jacket. I held it out and walked backwards to toss it on one of the desk chairs. Alastor followed, his smug expression mirroring mine.

His hands found my waist and pulled me close. My lips ghosted his and I fell back on my heels when he tried to close the distance. He grunted and moved a hand into my hair. He grabbed just tight enough to hold my head in place and pressed a firm kiss on my lips. I laughed as I hooked my arms around his neck. Images flashed through my mind and our minds connected. He went still and broke the kiss, a look of uncertainty spreading across his face.

"Are you sure, darling?" he asked.

"Only if it's something you're okay with," I answered. My ears dropped, my head tilted down, and an embarrassing shade filled my cheeks.

I felt his mood brighten, but there was a hint of nerves in there somewhere. "I would love nothing more, dear. But you must be comfortable in doing so."

My fingers tapped my arms repeatedly. "I can't say I won't be nervous." I was trying not to talk through gritted teeth.

"So long as you communicate, darling." Mentally he added, In any way.

My hand came down through his hair to press my palm against his cheek. His smile was close-lipped and his eyebrows perked up sweetly. I was trying to keep his face in view and the memories pushed away.

"You may tell me to stop at any point," he said. He wrapped his arms further around my waist and nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. I heard him suck in a deep breath. "You smell so sweet."

"It's just perfume." I wished my voice wouldn't shake.

"It's your scent," he corrected. He lifted his head to press a gentle kiss on my lips. I was bent backwards as he pulled me tight against him. I wrapped my tail around his waist to keep myself from falling.

"Relax, my dear," he whispered in my ear, "and put your trust in my hands."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

Here we goooooooo~

Next part!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@wendigonamecaller @saccharine-nectarine @thesimpybitch @papas-ghoulette @masochist-downfall @martinys-world

#demi demon #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #soulmate au #soulmates #reqs open

[emililyqueer]

so... this is just kind of a personal emotional dump. i don't want to bring anyone down, you can ignore this if you just want to do the sexy stuff.

but it is an insight into me, so ya know. here it is. it turned out a lot longer than i wanted... to be honest it's sort of turned into my life story. um. sorry.

i spent so much of my life being ashamed and confused and depressed. i suppose, the thing is... i'm tired of watching other people live the life that i wanted to live.

i was brought up in a very conservative small town, in the middle of fkin nowhere. the place was extremely homogenous. no (visibly) gay or trans people, almost no people of colour. i had a single, disabled mother. my dad was very mentally ill, and he was abusive and violent with it, and even though he left when i was in single digits, he's left some very deep scars on me. i went to school under the time of the Section 28 law - which is to say, LGBT issues were banned in school, and bullying gay and trans kids was absolutely allowed to happen, or else the teachers could be seen as "taking a side" on a "controversial issue". this happened to me multiple times. i hated school. even though i started off in life with a passion of learning, going there broke my enthusiasm for literally decades.

i was queer, and i was in denial. i... sort of understood, i think?? but i realised very young that i couldn't rely on anyone, not my parents, not my teachers, not my peers. i grew up obsessed with the idea of self-reliance and some fucked up idea of personal strength. even after a university friend of mine came out, and i realised i might be trans, i still clung to these ideas, to masculinity and self-isolation. they had kept me "safe" and i felt i needed them. i abused drink and drugs because i felt empty and just wanted to fucking feel something, at least something other than anxiety and despair. it felt like parts of me were missing. most of the time, i felt either nothing, or fear, or stress, unless i was high.

i had health problems, i didn't have any energy or concentration (i later learned that i had ADD), i was depressed, and i had chronic migraines. i went to university to study a BSc in computer science, and i couldn't complete it due to these health problems.

and yeah, the health problems and depression became disabling... because of that i was constantly broke. this country, the tory party especially (but not only the tories), hates disabled people with a passion. i was into political activism at the time and the number of deaths of sick and disabled people coming out of the initial austerity era actually kind of broke my faith in society, i couldn't believe this was being allowed to happen.

as an aside - that was a choice. austerity was a choice, and it came with a body count in the tens of thousands (according to the British Medical Journal) before they just stopped fucking counting. this is a thing that actually happened in one of the richest countries on earth, and it happened as the richest people in that country only got richer and richer, and then we just... forgot, because disabled people don't fucking matter, do we? i'm sorry to get political in the middle of my own miserable ramble but these bastards need to burn in hell for what they did. fuck the tories

anyway.

because i abused my body, and i couldn't afford decent healthcare, or transition related stuff, i actually wrote off my appearance. i decided i would never be able to look good or feel good about myself. there was a brief time when i first got on HRT where i felt great about the future, but once i realised how badly i'd already hurt myself... i just gave up. for a lot of my life i was convinced that i wouldn't be here in the next few months or years, so why build a future?

my desires and sense of identity were just completely buried under a mountain of shame, self loathing, lack of direction, and substance abuse. i lost so, so many years.

so... how are things today? my living situation is crap. it's secure, but miserable. one tiny room, with mold in it which is aggravating my allergies. my financial situation is still bad, but it's not critical - i am struggling to afford some medications, but generally i'm afloat. i am, so far, just about able to maintain a small old car, which i rely on, because i live in the sticks and there's fck all public transport here. mentally, i still struggle, but it's so so much better than it was, and it is getting better. my physical health is... concerning me; i have a lot less energy than i'd like, and i'm in almost always in pain. in terms of drugs, i am mostly clean. i don't really drink, i don't smoke (neither tobacco nor anything else), but i do use prescription painkillers.

one of the bigger things is my gender and sexuality... confusing as hell, i'm in a superposition between trans woman and like... femboy, or sissy feminine man. i don't really understand it, parts of all these things appeal strongly to me on a deep, honest, fundamental level. i'm really not sure how to interpret this.

and, well, when i look at some certain sex workers and models... i feel equal parts inspired, and like i want to cry. i keep seeing people who lived the life i always wanted, and i see how fucking happy and successful they are, and i feel so many things all at once.

but... i am still here. i do still have time left. and i do know a few things about me for sure:

i am a reasonably intelligent person. i'm good with computers, electronics, and cars. i like music, travelling, and um i think i like cooking??? and of course video games. i mean duh, i'm a queer on the internet! :p

i'm determined, i don't want to lie down and die any more, i want things to get better for me, i want a future.

but i think... above all? it's the things i was ashamed of that i love the most. i love kink, i love femininity, i love showing off, i desire outrageous sexual experiences, and looking hot and changing the person i see in the mirror. i want to do porn, to revel in eroticism and queerness, and i want to take these things seriously.

so, that's what i'm going to do. that's why i'm posting this here alongside the fun kinky stuff. it's important, this is me.

[jellymeduza]

Got a question about the Chris Hatch visit hack. How does it work exactly? I added the mods in 'downloads' in its own folder, but it is nowhere in my game. Do I have to be friends with sims first before visiting their lots? I clicked on a vehicle, but the 'visit other lots' menu doesn't pop up anywhere. What am I supposed to do?

Hi!

Chris Hatch's mod adds two new interactions with a car: "Visit.../Lot" and "Visit.../Sim". I took a quick glance at the code and it doesn't seem to me that knowing other Sims is a requirement for visiting them. I might have missed something, of course.

I recommend that you run a conflict scan with a hack conflict scanning program (you can use SiMidge or HCDU Plus).

If you have any further problems, please contact me via DM - asks aren't really useful for this type of communication.

@atomtanned asked:

Hi Meduza, I've just found your version of More Computer Options! Excited to try it out in my game. midge's version had an STR conflict with simler90's Toy Skills mod and yours is showing this conflict as well. (/post/190051865354/hi-just-got-simler90s-toy-mod-on-mts-and-hcdu on midge's blog). Not a big deal because just the pop-up is incorrect, but I tried to fix it myself and failed, so I figured I'd let you know! Thanks for all your amazing mods 💚

Hi! I checked the code and it seems that the versions of Midge's "More computer options" that I used incorporated changes done by simler90 in their "Toy and Game mods". Therefore, my edit incorporates simler90's mod as well. I don't really have the time to check it in my game but it looks that if my mod loads after simler90's "Toy mod", you should receive correct skill dialog, i.e. logic dialog for playing games and doing crosswords, and creativity for anything else.

I know my answer isn't helpful, but are you sure these two mods are loading in the correct order?

@kyogokudrack asked:

I gotta ask but i got an issue everytime a ghost sim use the tombstone… simingly they change into bats like vampire for the duration of the interaction it's kind of odd??? Any idea of how i should go on about fixing this? I'm using all your ghost mods.

Hi! Yes, that's odd. Ghosts are turned invisible for the time they haunt graves and urns and I don't recall them relying on flying objects (unlike fairies). I might be wrong, though.

I don't have this issue in my game, but I updated useable ghost grave and ghost urn in a way that should hopefully get rid of your problem. Please redownload those objects.

#reply #error report

[creature-wizard]

i used to be in the loa community and it was miserable lol. i'd have phases of being so inspired and really feeling like things were going to change for the better, only for it to not happen. for a long time i held out, and any 'failures' i had i took it as an opportunity to improve and carry on. but then at some point i just began to spiral--it came out of nowhere--and i felt so, so hopeless. i think with every 'mistake' and failure i had, it built up without me fully realising it. i never told anyone, not online and of course not in real life, because acknowledging it would've been the final nail in the coffin for my 'journey' or whatever.

anyone who voiced their upset about not getting the results they wanted, they'd be told by some blogs that it was because they "weren't persisting enough", and that all they needed to do was continue. any mention of doubt or feeling bad was frowned upon. it sucked. because i sure as hell knew that i was putting my heart and soul into it. i like to view myself as someone who is steadfast, but a person can only handle so much until they crumble. to be fair, it wasn't completely loa's fault for my sudden decline in mental health, there were definitely different factors. but it probably wasn't that healthy for me regardless. burnouts happen ig

in defence of some of the blogs i've been on, there are definitely a few that don't have the regular toxic ideology that a lot of the other blogs do. not all of them take neville goddard's words and teaching as gospel, and some of them actually encourage getting help when you need it and to not rely on loa completely, and they reiterate that any awful things that happened to people wasn't their fault! but i will say that those more healthy loa blogs are more rare and hard to come by. coincidentally, they're also the least active. but i digress

but yeah. my main issue with loa was that after being in that community long enough, i just became stagnant. mostly due to the hope that things would sort them out themselves. i'd hold back on pursuing things and making plans because i wanted to do them AFTER i'd manifested everything. but clearly that didn't work out for me lol.

so uh yeah if you're in the community and reading this and you're not quite ready to let go of it yet, just don't let it hold you back. you think it isn't harmless until you just stop moving forward because of it. and please don't be afraid of reaching out for help.

sorry for the long ramble, hope you're doing well.

fuccccckkk if it were all true. manifesting a big ass psychic elephant would have been so metal !!

Thanks for sharing your story! And yeah, that's the thing about trying something over and over with no results - you might be able to repress the disappointment for awhile, but it will build up and eventually come out and hit you all at once. And it can hit hard.

You mention that you never posted about your failures, and I think that this is a far more common in the Law of Assumption community than many people realize. Neville Goddard's teachings and the community around them absolutely push people into self-censorship. We see people posting success stories (or, supposedly posting success stories), but we really have no idea of what's going on behind the scenes.

And it's a shame that the blogs taking a healthier approach to this aren't as common or active. But honestly, the fact that the toxic bloggers are spending all this time on this blue hellsite when they could, supposedly, manifest themselves doing literally anything else should tell people a lot about how well they're actually doing with the Law of Assumption and their approach to it.

Anyway, I'm glad you're doing better and I hope things keep going well for you!

#answered #law of assumption #loa #loassumption #neville goddard #ex loa

[imjustabeanie]

uhh i may have to organize this or else im gonna ramble lol-

can i have a matchup for hazbin hotel and helluva boss pls :>

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: demisexual/demiromantic

Star sign (if that helps-): Leo

Personality type: INFP

Ambivert

I use emoticons a lot as you'll see :>

Favorite colors: Purple and black especially since they work so well together

Very much a night owl :)

Personality: I'm a kind of a fun and laid back person but I do like do cause chaos every now and then. I tend to hyperfixate a lot on random things that i tend to find. At first im very quiet but can get more chaotic as time goes on. I can tend to get hot headed at times or be somewhat irrational every now and then and it takes time for me to calm down. Other times im very hyper. Also i have a slight caffeine addiction so that might be why :D

Moral alignment: true nuetral

Aesthetic: Dark academia-ish along with some glitch core because i just really like the look of both

Hobbies: I play the violin, read, write, draw, and i love listening to music a lot. Probably one of my favorite things to do honestly. I also love chilling and watching tv and binge watching stuff. I also have a habit of just analyzing shit for the fun of it because why not. I also really like learning about greek mythology and i like a few musicals. I also watch horror quite a bit and mysteries because I just think that they're fun. I'm also learning spanish as of currently-

Pet peeves: people who cant take a hint... like at all, or they take the hint and just dont care. it annoys the shit out of me. also really stuck up people who think theyre better than everyone else, like we get it youre a child who never grew up. move on. mouth noises are also just the most annoying thing ever.

Appearance: tan skin with dark brown eyes and hair. i wear glasses sometimes but dont usually because theyre not fit properly and i keep trying to get them fir but it never works so ive just given up-. honestly i mostly wear softer clothing such as sweatpants, leggings, or sweaters/sweatshirts. but sometimes i wear jeans and actually style myself although i usually just keep it casual.

Hi! Thank you for your patience I am sorry for being so slow to answer to this trade. I was very sick last week.

Without further wait...your Helluva match is...Stolas!

Stolas was a pretty obvious choice for you to be honest. Your interests and aesthetics click and just like you he’s chill but then pulls out the most chaotic actions out of nowhere.

You two met at night at one of those libraries you only see on pinterest. He honestly just came in cuz he was bored and wished to seek a recent human astronomy book. He found you peacefully reading a mythology book in the corner and was gonna leave you alone till he couldn’t help himself but comment on it. You were so laidback and easy going that you two had a nice conversation where he taught you a few things about mythology (given his age and position he does have an interest in those subjects). It was nice and you two decided to do it every month, then every two weeks and you see where it is going. Stolas just likes coming to you to cool off with no repercussions. It’s what made him fall for you. He confessed after inviting you to watch the stars or a movie he thinks you’d like (high chance you already watched it before but shhh). He confess and also tell you real quick about his marriage situation in case you want out.

Stolas is a caring and passionate lover. His love language is mostly affection and quality time but I believe he’ll wait till you’re ready if you catch my drift. He LOVES spoiling you with numerous gifts and dates. He’d be pretty upset (pouty) if he’s not your go to contact when you need help. He wants to be someone you can rely on, a safe space for you just like you are for him. His gifts range from cinema/concert tickets and your favorite snacks (he doesn’t consider any food as a gift) to actual mythological pieces and priceless violons. Sometimes they even come from his personal collection.

Stolas lives for your chaotic moments! He highly encourages them which results in weekly trouble for both of you (you’re always safe dw but he did get you two banned from a few places). When your hot headed side comes out he’s here to calm you down or get angrier on your behalf. There is no in between cuz your couple is pretty much in sinc. It means you either calm the other down or join them.

Despite his extraverted self, Stolas enjoys some home time. Especially with you. He actually purchases a house in the human world and spends most of his time there now. He wants (begs) you to move in with him. This house has a huge library, two studies, a music room and a very much needed coffee corner. Yeah with those machines you see on tiktok with all the material. Stolas isn’t a morning person at all so he needs his daily coffee and only accepts premium quality. He invested in a home cinema and loves binge watching with you. Those are all things he didn’t get to do often so discovering them with you is a priceless experience in his eyes. Horror doesn’t bother him at all and he can show you much better horror tbh. Stolas also likes analyzing things with you (he listens and chimes in) and actually keeps up with your fixations really well. His favorite thing to do at home is to stay glued to your side.

Stolas often drags you to dance with him in the music room. He is attentive to your tastes and shows you his favorite pieces too! In general he is an attentive lover who adapts to your needs without being overbearing. If you accept his flaws your relation will be…stellar.

Your hazbin match is...Husk!

I did hesitate between a few characters (mainly Vaggie) but in the end Husk won. He’s chill but knows how to have fun. And he’s loyal.

You were at the hotel when you got to know Husk. He was being his usual snarky self but after a few nights (and talks) he slowly became friendlier. He even cracked jokes with you! Music definitely got the two of you to bond. You became someone he felt at ease with. The moment Husk considered sharing some of his problems with you he knew he fell, and fell hard. He started being more attentive to your needs and lost in your voice during your conversations. Everyone knew he was in love so one night they somehow managed to leave the two alone for the night. That’s when he confessed, knowing he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

As mentioned beforehand, Husk is a very attentive boyfriend. His love language is mostly acts of service and some quality time. He makes you your favorite drinks and will even learn the ways of a coffee barista for you. He’s proud of the way he makes you smile and feel loved as well as being your shoulder to vent to. Husk knows he has a way with words and people to make them feel at ease, he’d say it’s a positive trait of his that’s why he wants you to be included in it. Plus he gives good advices for someone with so many bad decisions. Husk likes going on weekly dates with you (besides dinner together every night that he cooks) to watch new movies. He’s mostly a domestic guy so going out in public is something he’d only do for you.

Husk calm demeanor is really helpful when you start getting irrational. He always help you keep a head on your shoulders and is the rational voice. Doesn’t mean he won’t encourage you to go ape shit when someone deserves it. While he prefers the calm, Husk still enjoys your occasional chaotic moments. He knows you try to lessen them for him but isn’t fully opposed to them as long as you’re safe. Low chance he’ll join you but some nagging will work. People are surprised that he’s with someone way more energetic than him but he just shoots some lovey dovey comment and they shut it. Angel is probably your biggest cheerleader in the relationship, he gives a lot of (sometimes helpful) advices to Husk.

While your hobbies differ greatly, I can see Husk appreciating them a lot. Especially your artistic side that he fully encouraged. He’s always there when you practice, even when you get frustrated or have an art block. Husk will become your hype man and do his best to motivate you. He probably got the binge watching habit from you much to Alastor dismay and he actually gets into soap operas….it’s funny to watch. Husk likes listening to you analyze or talk about greek mythology. He’s not great at that but tries to participate (he likes listening to your voice).

Husk will lessen his drinking habits with you. He wants to be the best version of himself for you just like you are for him. He’s really trying and it’s commendable. His gambling is another issue and he needs another fixation for him to stop. I guess with you it could become watching tv as it takes up a lot of his time (not saying that in a negative way but you see what I mean). Aesthetically talking, you two also fit together if we judge by clothing type and your personal aesthetic. Overall he might not be the best guy but he’s willing to change for his love.

#matchups #match ups #hazbin hotel #helluva boss

[beasoddits]

I'm at my parent's place right now recovering from illness and a general bit of a depressive episode and have been kind of reminiscing on the past few years and how I got to where I am with the people I have around me. When things get really hard I have this faint urge to just sorta move out, come back here to this room in a villa in a country town in the middle of nowhere and just be free from it all. It sounds idyllic to some people, nice scenery, solitude and safety. It is a privilege to have somewhere like this to come back to when things get really tough. But then I think of how I was existing when I was living here. And I wasn't really existing much at all. I primarily had a presence online, but apart from my jobs and immediate family I was essentially a ghost. It coincided with me moving home from an attempt at university and receding into myself as I realized I needed to transition. It was comfortable at the time, to just exist as a direct message or avatar. I think it felt like it kept me safe. I get scared a lot these days and selfishly miss that safety, of not having a body, or expectations. But I know it won't help me anymore. I'm here because I needed some care that much is true. But I exist somewhere else now, I have people I love and who rely on me and who I rely on, I have a body and presence that occupies space in their lives. A space which I worked for and feel like I belong in, or need to work to remain in. I didn't ever need to consider it before, that returning here even for a week or two would leave a me-shaped vacuum back home. So I'll go home, when I'm well. Fill that space I left and keep going. Because I take up space now, I love that I take up space, I have people that love me and the space I hold in their lives and I can't let them down. I'm excited to exist finally I think.

[morganofthewildfire]

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Same Time Thursday - Aelin's Article

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masterlist

~1.5k words

CW: mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of pedophilia, mentions of suicide

this is random, but I really wanted to write her article, so here it is 😂, it's cobbled together late at night so hopefully it's legible

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“Growing up under the wing of Evalin and Rhoe Galathynius, I was taught to look at the world as if it were a business for me to run, with clients to woo and money to make. I hadn’t grown up with any interest in joining this ruthless world, but I couldn’t help but learn its rules. Especially when my parents took every opportunity they had to teach me.

They brought me to company parties, talked about what they’d done that day at the office, took me to their business conferences.

I met Arobynn Hamel for the first time at such a business conference, at the young age of fourteen. Already then, he was seeing me through the lens of a businessman: not seeing me for what he could offer me, but what I could offer him. While I was busy thinking normal fourteen year old thoughts, worrying about my social life and if the boy in my language arts class liked me back, he was thinking something far different.

I left that day without a scratch, and without any memory of the encounter at all. And to my detriment, I forgot about him entirely. 

I met him again for the first time at my parents’ funeral. I was in a very dark place, but he’d taken the steps to purposefully run into me, to have a conversation, to offer me a drink even though I was underage. Because you see, I was freshly eighteen. 

In my deep state of grief, I allowed him to woo me, I allowed him to charm me, entice me, until he became the only person I surrounded myself with. The only person I relied on. For a long time, I blamed myself for this weakness, but I’ve since learned that there were larger things at play.

I fell headfirst into something I didn’t understand, and that was on purpose. My confusion and my isolation was just another piece in a twisted game that I was an unwitting player of. 

Throughout those next five months, I fell further into his trap. So much so, I molded my life to orbit around his. I was adrift after my parents’ death, and instead of grabbing onto a liferaft, I became the prey of a shark. I spent all of my time with him, I took his advice, I became so enraptured by his charm that I forgot who I was entirely.

November 23rd, about three years ago, was the first time he raped me. He made me believe that it was something I wanted, that I had initiated it. In truth, I was drunk, I was coerced, I was unable to consent. There was no way I’d be able to say no, far up in the mountains, away from anyone I’d ever known.

I was still eighteen.

But I believed him, and that same week, we were married. Or so I thought. I later found out the entire marriage was a sham, another trick to keep me tied to him. And it worked, for the longest time I never tried to leave because I thought I had nowhere else to go.

Throughout the next year, I was faced with cruelty that I had never imagined possible. It wasn’t so clear at first; he still kept up the charm for a while. I was happy being with him, I looked past all of the reasons why it was wrong. I knew I was young, I knew he was not. But I truly believed that everything I had been through already made me older than I was, and he only fed that delusion. 

I adored him. He was the only one who treated me like an adult, how I thought I should be treated. Back then I didn’t see what was wrong with that, I didn’t see that that behavior was yet another way for him to isolate me. 

I was young, way too young for him. Way too vulnerable. But that’s what he wanted.

He hit me for the first time a few months into our marriage, and it only escalated from there. Soon enough I didn’t leave the house, I wandered around like a ghost, so downtrodden that it took too much effort to do anything but exist. Exist - and drink.

I was abused in every way possible, and it got to the point where I attempted to commit suicide in my own bathtub, so tired from everything I was living through that I thought it would be easier to just die. 

I was nineteen.

No one should live that way, no one should be pushed to that breaking point, no one should ever be treated like they’re less than human, like they’re nothing better than a toy for someone else’s amusement. 

That’s why, when I found out I was pregnant, I decided I needed to leave.

I managed to leave Rifthold, and I thought I found my safe haven in Doranelle, with my new daughter. But Arobynn Hamel was not a man who took slights lightly, and he hunted me down until eventually, two years later, he found me and forced me to come back. He twisted the law to make me lose custody of my one year old child, and said I’d never be able to see her again if I didn’t come back to Rifthold with him.

Rather than lose my daughter and let her grow up with a man as evil as him, I chose to go with him. That’s where I was last month, that’s why I was in the car with him when he died. He was taking me to his cabin in the mountains to express his anger at me in one of his favorite ways.

But we never made it there. And for that, I’ll forever be grateful.

Now you know the truth of what happened, the truth of what really went on behind the facade of Arobynn Hamel that everyone saw. He was a charming businessman at his best, and an evil, manipulative, pedophilic bastard at his worst. 

I found out he’d been stalking me since that first time we met, when I was fourteen. He had a file of information on me for those vital four years of my childhood. Childhood. Because that’s what I was: a child. 

A child who never asked for this man’s attention, a child who never should’ve received an ounce of it.

I have lived through many horrific things in my life due to Arobynn Hamel, things that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to recover from. And I can’t change that.

But the one thing that I can try to change is the way that everyone else views him. He thrived off of everyone’s compliments, everyone’s adoration. But I’m here to tell you the truth.

He is not a man to be revered, he is not a man to be followed, no matter how successful a businessman he was. If we value money over morals, where does that leave us? If we value success over acknowledging evil, how can we live with ourselves?

I’m not sure if any of you would believe me if he was still alive, if he had the chance to argue. I’m not sure if any of you will believe me now. Powerful men have a way of staying in power, no matter what comes up to bring them down. 

I just hope that you listen to me with an open mind, and consider this famous man in a different light. Would he be famous if he was not charming? Would he be powerful if he was not rich? Don’t both of those very things make him easily in position to assert his influence over a young girl who was grieving, so lost within herself that any kindness seemed like love.

I never want to see another girl led astray like I was, taken advantage of like I was. I never want anyone to feel that same hopelessness I felt, that same worthlessness I felt. 

My hope is that by sharing my story, we can spread awareness that situations like mine exist, that men like him exist. We need accountability for those who abuse the system, and we need safety for those who get abused.

Let’s not be swayed by flash, by shallow smiles and endless money. Let’s look at the heart of a person before we make them our hero.

If that’s the change I can bring by sharing this with the world, then it will well be worth it.”

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taglist:

@shyvioletcat @courtofjurdan @leiawritesstories @themoonthestarsthesuriell @westofmoon @mariamuses @cretaceous-therapod @rowaelinrambling @foughtconquered @swankii-art-teacher @rowaelinismyotp @live-the-fangirl-life @sailorsassley @claralady @gracie-rosee @theinfernalbookworm @larisssss @peppermint-fae @charlizeed @llyncooljones @justreadertings @backtobl4ck @wordsafterhours @story-scribbler @mybloodrunsblue @sexy-dumpster-fire @dealfea @whoever-you-choose-to-love @tomtenadia @house-of-galathynius @1islessthan3books @fangirlprincess09 @superspiritfestival @fromthelibraryofemilyj @rowanaelinn @gwynethhberdara @baxian-argos @thewayshedreamed @aelinchocolatelover @emilyoftheshadows @rhysands-whore @gigglinggummybears @shadowwolf777 @fireheart-violet @firestarsandseneschals @wishfulimaginings @thegreyj @fireheartwhitethorn4ever @rhysandswingspan @poisonous00

#stt #rowaelin #throne of glass fanfiction #rowaelin fanfiction #throne of glass #rowaelin au #rowan x aelin #throne of glass au

[sunshinebree]

Dear Taylor (@taylorswift, @taylornation)

Tonight is the night before the Eras Tour Night 1 in Sydney Australia. I'll be in the crowd, for my first ever concert of yours, even though I've been a fan since the 'Debut' Era. I don't have much of an online presence although something has compelled me to write to you tonight.

I am feeling so blessed that I managed to get tickets last week. I tried at every release and had almost given up. Thankfully, I managed to get tickets and I know I'm going to have the best, most magical night ever.

At 15 years old, the first song I ever heard from you was Teardrops On My Guitar and I was immediately hooked. I remember the first time I heard it, driving in the car to Sydney. It was raining heavily, and such a movie-worthy moment, my head resting against the car window, crying to a song about loving someone you can't have. I felt that.

When Fearless came around, I was instantly hooked. Country music was my thing, and all of my favourite songs instantly became yours. Fearless, Love Story, The Way I Loved You. You made me not feel as alone in the world as I mostly felt. As a 16-17 year old, your songs were a staple in my everyday life. You made me feel like that.

In 2010, with Speak Now, you were still a staple in my everyday life. I was finishing school, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. Your music was my escape. I didn't have many friends, I have always been awkward. Innocent was the track that spoke to me most. Even when everything felt dark, and lonely, your songs saved me. Sometimes, I imagined the lyrics were talking to me.And now that I'm '32, and still growing up now,' I still feel as though your songs are still talking to me.

With your foray into pop music with Red, my best friend started loving your music too. That made me so happy. It gave us another way to strengthen our friendship. We are the Lucky Ones. To have been blessed in this lifetime with your music.

I feel with every album release, your music spoke to me. 1989 came at a time where I was slowly falling in love. They were my Wildest Dreams, out of reach, but your music was there in the comfort of the middle of the night (and the walks and bus drives to work).

With Reputation, much like the albums earlier, I was easily able to relate to all of the music much like some songs were written about situations I had found myself in. Gorgeous especially, when I fell madly, crazily in love with someone who was already in a relationship and deluded myself into thinking I had a chance.

2019. Lover. I lost myself in these couple of years. The darkest I've ever been in my life, self hatred plaguing my entire self. Yet again, I relied on music to get me through this. Especially your music. In times of darkness, your music has always been there to get me through everything. Telling someone that I love them, and them actually making me feel that it WAS the worst thing they've ever heard? It was a whole season of a Cruel Summer.

When Folklore came around during COVID, it was definitely the Invisible String that brought me back to your music to start to heal. Illicit Affairs resonated with me so deeply, I honestly believe Folklore really helped me process my emotions more than anything else ever could. Every single track brings me back to a memory of trying to bring back that same joy and happiness that previous albums brought me. It did just that.

And then Evermore came out of nowhere, and just helped that process along. Champagne Problems, No Body No Crime, Coney Island... every song brought me a sense of familiarity and comfort. So much had changed from when I was the little girl crying to Teardrops on My Guitar but the fact that your music has helped me has never changed.

Midnights. Anti-Hero. I never like looking in the mirror, but I do look directly in the sunlight. You're On Your Own Kid. I always have been, especially when I needed someone. Would've Could've Should've... the song, that entirely summed up my twenties. Midnights made me laugh, made me cry, and this new, healed version of me used it as the soundtrack to getting better. It worked, and I'm so proud of that.

I'm sure you didn't want to read this long-winded post, I'm not even sure if you will. But I felt compelled to write it. Right now, I'm on my bed making friendship bracelets for the show tomorrow night. A few years ago, I didn't even want to be alive anymore. Now, I listen to your songs on repeat and use them to remember that it's okay to hurt, it's okay to love, it's okay to laugh. Life is worth living.

Taylor, I've had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.

I can't wait to see you tomorrow night. Thank you for everything you have done, without even knowing me. You've been there for me for all of my teenage and adult years.

With love always,

Bree.

Instagram - breannamurphy92

Twitter / X - tysonskidd

#TaylorSwift #TaylorNation #Taylor Swift #Taylor #Swift #Swiftie #TheEras #The Eras Tour #The Eras Tour Australia #Sydney

[bisexualnathanyoung]

Throw This Away (If You Don’t Want to Talk About It).

Word Count: 1.5k 

Can’t think of any specific warnings besides talking about dick for a couple of sentences and one prostitution joke, but if anybody finds any more let me know. (I also added a little picture I made of what the note might look like, so that’s there.)

Mel has some time to herself in the morning and decides to write a note to Nathan.

I wanted to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t. I was stuck, staring at the ceiling. I was thinking about the dream I’d just woken up from. I dreamt about Nathan. I’d dreamt about him all the time. It wasn’t a sexy dream. It wasn’t a scary dream. I dreamt that he told me he loved me. It was so simple, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I laid there for a while before the alarm went off. I finally got up to get ready for work. I finished getting ready and still had too much time on my hands. 

I went into the living room, and there he was, sleeping soundly on the little bed that hid inside the sofa. He had his arms wrapped around his pillow and was snuggled under the blanket. 

He was so beautiful. Maybe he was some stupid, gross kid or just a lost young man relying on a hint of charm and unwarranted confidence he used as a shield. He was more than that to me. 

On the surface, letting him move in was a stupid, stupid idea, but he had nowhere to stay. I didn’t set out to open Mel’s home for wayward arseholes, but it quickly turned into me needing him as much as he needed me. We were both so lonely, and there was a joy I felt when I was around him that I couldn’t compare to anything else. I really, truly loved him, and I wasn’t ready to admit it. 

I sighed. I still had half an hour before I had to head to work. I thought about turning on the telly, but I didn’t want to disturb him.

 I stared at the wall and kept thinking about how close we’d gotten. I kept thinking about how he’d flirt with me. I thought about how we already kissed. I thought about all of these little moments in our flat. I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wasn’t going to blurt out that I loved him. I wasn’t even ready to admit that to myself. I just wanted so badly to be more than friends. He was mine, and I wanted everyone else to know that, but I was so scared. I was scared of the rejection. I was scared of the expectations. 

I shook my head and pulled my notebook out of my bag and began to doodle. 

I’d filled half the page with hearts. 

Oh, this is stupid. 

I turned the page and began to write something else. 

Hey, 

Hopefully I’ll be at work by the time you see this. Unless I haven’t finished it, and you’ve stolen my bag and journal. Which is also a possibility. 

I’ve never been great at knowing what to say. I just needed to tell you something. To tell you something without you interrupting or treating it like a joke. That isn’t me trying to be mean. It’s just sometimes I never know what to do with you. 

I know how to talk to you. You know how to talk to me. But not about this. I don’t know why I can’t just say how I feel. We’re best friends. I feel like I’ve known you forever. I trust you. We’ve talked about other stuff. 

But we laugh about all that stuff too. Stuff we’re not supposed to laugh about. Stuff I’ve only told you. 

It’s okay if we joke about people who hurt us other people. I’m just sensitive about this, and I’m scared you’re going to laugh at me without thinking. I’m sensitive about all of it. 

I think you’re so cute and sweet and funny, and I’ve never stopped thinking about that kiss. Every day 

I want to kiss you again so bad. It feels like you’re all I want. I really like you. I don’t know if you like me too or if it’s all a joke. I’d almost rather it all be a joke than you’d only want to sleep with me and not like me as a person. 

If you really do want to have sex with me, I don’t think I’m ready for that. And I have no idea if you’d be okay with that. I’d rather get to know you more first. Kiss. Touch. Love. 

It just feels like you’d laugh at a girl that says shit like that. That’s why I’m writing this. I could never say that out loud. I’m not some prudish little flower. 

I’m just scared. I’m scared you’ll run away. I’m scared you’ll laugh in my face as soon as we’re naked together. There’s part of me that tells me you’d never do that, but I don’t know if I should believe it. I’ve never had sex before, and the times I’ve gotten close weren’t great. I’m not inexperienced. I’ve seen dicks before, and I know my own body.  If you want a BJ or a handy, just ask. Or don’t. I’ve never tried to be friends with benefits with anyone either. I just want you to like me. 

I really want to be your girlfriend. I just don’t think you’d ever go for a girl like me. I’m not half as tough as you think I am. I still think you’re incredible. I love being around you. 

 You can just throw this away if you don’t want to talk about it. 

Mel 

I read it, and then read it again. And then read it a third time. Crossing out words. Rewriting sentences. Starting a new page. Crossing out that one too. 

I had it near perfect, then I read it again. I gently tore it out of my notebook and gently taped two pages together. I looked it over again. I started to fold it. 

My eyes shot back over to him as he made a small mixture of a moan and a groan. I stood there frozen as he kicked the blanket off. I was fully prepared for him to get up, snatch the note out of my hand, and then I’d have to run away. Forever maybe. 

But that’s not what happened. He didn’t even open his eyes. 

I probably should’ve looked away when his legs fell open. I wasn’t supposed to immediately look at the outline of his morning wood or notice the way those briefs couldn’t contain his pubes. I also didn’t want to notice the way my chest started to feel like it was on fire. 

I immediately crinkled the note into a ball in my hand. 

I watched him reach down, scratch his balls, then go back to spooning his pillow. 

I looked at the ruined note in my hands and sighed. I shoved it in my pocket to throw away and maybe burn at work. 

Nathan made another noise. I grabbed a pad of sticky notes, wrote “U R DUMB,” and smacked it on his forehead. 

He finally opened his eyes, “Owwww, what the fuck?” He pulled the sticky note off his forehead, read it, and set it to the side, “what’d I do this time?” 

I smirked and shrugged, “left the toilet seat up.” 

He wiped his eyes as he sat up, then yawned, “god forbid I forget to put the toilet seat down after stepping over four pairs of knickers, three shirts, a pair of jeans, and a towel because you can’t remember what a laundry basket is.” 

I continued to bully him, “when’s the last time you took a shower? You smell like feet.” 

He knit his eyebrows in offense and confusion, “yesterday!” He lifted his arm up and sniffed before pulling something out from under the covers. He pulled out a sports bra I’d left in there from last night when I’d taken it off without taking off my shirt. 

He lifted it up, “you’re probably smellin’ this. Smells like a skunk’s arsehole.” He threw it at me. 

I smacked it to the side. 

He stretched and ran a hand through his hair, “anyway, the fuck’d you wake me up for?” 

“Just letting you know I’m going t’ work,” I said. 

“Oh,” he said, “good. We need money. We’re out of everything.” 

“Did you look at the flyers I grabbed from the community centre?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” he said, a bit defeated, “nobody’s interested.” 

“Well,” I responded, “you’ll find something. Everyone around here’s right desperate.”  

He shrugged and started to snuggle back into his bed, “yeah. Thanks for the motivation.” 

“I guess I’m off,” I said, shoving my notebook back into my bag and throwing my bag over my shoulder. 

I was half way out of the door when he said, “bye, baby.” 

I spun around, “what’d you just call me?” 

“I said bye, bitch! Go make me some money before I hafta start workin’ the corner!” he responded. 

I let out a small laugh and shook my head, “okay, bye.” 

I shut the door and turned around to lock it behind me. I lightly hit my head up against the door. 

Ugh. 

#nathan young x oc #nathan young x original character #this is just a lot of yearning and hopefully some comedy #tumblr probably ruined the formatting but it’s fine