#I forgot I had these written and drawn out like a month ago! I've been thinking about notes and things about my OC's and their species | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vbecker10 · 1 year

Note

Hey could you do a Loki x reader where reader is insecure about her body after giving birth and Loki is doing everything he can to reassure that he finds her beautiful?

Hey anon!! I love this idea so much! I'm sorry about the wait, I didn't mean for it to take me so long to get to this one. I've never written anything where Loki has a child before but I've been wanting to. I hope you like this! 💚💚

You Are My Queen

Pairing: Jotun Loki x plus size female reader (y/n)

Warnings: self depreciating thoughts, issues with self image... but I promise lots of fluff (let me know if I forgot anything)

Summary: You and Loki are the proud parents of a beautiful one month old baby girl (Luna, I stole the name from a friend). You couldn't be more in love with your daughter and Loki but you can't stop the negative thoughts that have been plaguing you recently. You do your best to hide your growing concerns from Loki but one morning you reluctantly open up to him about how you really see yourself.

A/N: So... I added in Jotun Loki cause I literally couldn't help myself. I also made the reader plus size and added a bit of background into why she is feeling this way... enjoy!

Dividers by: @harlequin-hangout

You groan lightly as a hand gently touches your shoulder, pulling you from your dreams. Opening your eyes slowly, a smile creeps across your face as you look up at your boyfriend. You rub your eyes as his illusion melts away, leaving his skin a rich shade of blue and his eyes a deep red. "Hi Loki," you mumble sleepily.

"Hello darling," he says with a smile then he leans down to kiss you. You reach up and touch his cheek, running your fingers over the raised markings and keeping his lips on your for a moment longer.

"Did you just get home?" you ask, sitting up on the couch as he stands up again.

He nods, "I texted you about half an hour ago to let you know we landed."

"Oh no. I'm sorry I missed your text," you tell him suddenly feeling guilty for not responding. You had forgotten you put your phone on vibrate so the text and call alerts wouldn't wake Luna. "I must have fallen asleep after I put her to bed..." you explain as you get up from the couch.

"It's alright love, I imagine our daughter kept you quite busy these last few days," he assumes and you nod in agreement. This was the first mission Loki had been on since you had given birth and even though it was only for three days, you were exhausted. He extends his hand towards you and you take it, intertwining your fingers with his. "Come to bed darling," he says in a soothing voice, "I've missed you."

"I missed you too," you reply as the two of you head towards your bedroom but suddenly your attention is drawn to your daughter's room. She begins to cry loudly and you let go of Loki's hand. You reach for the door knob and pause for a moment, covering your mouth as you yawn.

"Go back to sleep, I'll take care of our little princess," you hear Loki say from behind you.

"Are you sure? You just got home," you ask.

"Of course. My brother was pestering me for pictures of Luna as soon as we began our return flight. I pretended to be asleep so he would leave me alone and I must have actually fallen asleep at some point. I'm probably less tired than you are, dear," he tells you and you can't help but laugh. He kisses your cheek then opens the door to Luna's room. "I'll be in shortly," he says.

You go to your room and get into the bed, pulling the covers around yourself. You fight to stay awake, hoping you will have a few moments alone with Loki but you can barely keep your eyes open. You smile as you hear Loki singing softly to calm your daughter back to sleep through the baby monitor on your night stand. Yawning again, you roll onto your side and give in, closing your eyes.

You roll over and reach for Loki, opening your eyes when you don't feel him in the bed with you. You sit up, stretching a bit as you look at the clock.

When you walk out of your bedroom, you see Loki standing in the middle of the kitchen with Luna in his arms. He is swaying from side to side slowly while he hums to her, the newspaper he is reading on the counter flips to the next page with a light green glow caused by him nodding his head. The kettle on the stove begins to whistle, Loki keeps one hand on Luna's back and with a wave of his other hand, a green glow picks up the kettle and turns off the stove. You shake your head with a smile as the kettle pours water into two mugs on the counter and Loki looks up from his reading.

"Good morning, darling," he smiles. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," you tell him as you walk over to where he is standing. He leans down to kiss you and when he pulls back you look at your daughter. "Good morning princess," you say softly, kissing her nose as she looks up at you with her bright red eyes. Her tiny blue fingers reach for you and she grabs onto one of your fingers. "She looks so much like you," you say to Loki.

He jokes, "I think that might be because we are both blue my dear." You laugh and shake your head. "She is as beautiful as her mother," he tells you and you suddenly feel the need to force yourself to smile.

You look away from Loki abruptly and walk to the fridge to get milk for the coffee. "Are you alright?" he asks and you nod but still don't look at him. You add milk to both mugs before handing Loki his. You avoid eye contact with him, instead you pick up one of your daughter's books from the counter and flip through it. You can hear the familiar voices trying to force their way back into your mind, the voices that insisted you were never good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough. You had worked hard to get past them but it took almost nothing for them to reappear again.

"Hmm?" you ask as Loki finally gets your attention.

"I said, you should relax this morning," he suggests. "Luna and I have some reading to catch up on, don't we little one?" he asks your daughter and she smiles at him.

You consciously smile again, maybe relaxing wouldn't be such a bad idea. The voices were harder to push away when you were tired. Loki walks over to you and touches your chin lightly so you are looking up at him. "What is going on in that pretty little mind of yours?" he asks, obviously able to tell something is wrong.

You shake your head, not wanting to tell him. He strokes your cheek lightly and kisses your forehead. "Go unwind, love, we can talk after," he says, taking your coffee from you. Before you can reply you hear the water running in the bathroom. You nod and say thank you quietly.

You open the door to the bathroom and look around, Loki's magic never ceasing to amaze you. Steam rises off the nearly filled tub and there are lite candles lining the window sill. You can smell the lavender and oils which have been added to the water, causing a thick layer of bubbles to appear on the surface. A glass vase with an assortment of green flowers sits on the edge of the vanity.

You take off your pajamas quickly, careful not to catch your reflection in the mirror as you undress. You slip into the tub and sink under the bubbles as you close your eyes. Breathing deeply, you feel your body slowly relax in the warm water. You can hear Loki reading to Luna faintly, his voice changing slightly to match the various characters in whichever book he had chosen.

Gradually, your mind begins to wander. You had never thought much about your weight while in high school but when you first started college you realized you were always the heaviest girl in your classes. You tried all four years to control your weight but between your hectic class schedule and working full time there was little room to do things for yourself. Your weight never deterred you from making friends easily but it had held you back from ever being in a serious relationship. You dated occasionally but you found you had a hard time believing anyone was ever interested in you.

After you graduated, you got a job at SHIELD and excitedly moved to New York City. You were nervous about moving so far from home but you quickly became close with Wanda and Natasha, spending almost all of your free time together. The two of them had helped you arrange a schedule where they would go to the gym with you three or four times a week to keep you on track. About a month after you arrived, Loki and Thor joined the Avengers and you soon developed a crush on the God of Mischief. Your two best friends noticed of course and you did little to deny it, although you were adamant that he only liked you as a friend.

Eleven months later, you were still going to the gym several times a week, eating healthier and hopelessly in love with Loki who you had grown close to. Natasha and Wanda watched you get off the scale in the gym with a broad smile on your face. "Not much longer now," Natasha said, referring to your goal weight. You nod dramatically, you couldn't believe you were actually going to make it this time. "So, I think we should make this a little more interesting," she says and you look at her curiously. "Once you reach your goal, you have to ask Loki out on a date," she says and you look at her wide-eyed. You have no idea what possessed you to agree but almost a month later, you reached your goal and found yourself knocking on his apartment door to see if he wanted to go to the movies. Next month will be your three year anniversary, you think with a smile but it fades slowly.

You will need to buy a new dress if he wants to take you out to dinner like he usually does. Would you even be able to find a dress that would fit you now, you wonder. You open your eyes slowly and look at the clothing you had discarded by the door. None of your clothes from before the pregnancy fit anymore, it was a month since you had given birth and you hadn't lost a single pound.

In the beginning, you tried to continue going to the gym, desperate to keep the body you had worked so hard for but you were often too tired to stay long or your feet and back would begin to hurt. Your friends suggested you relax and pick up working out after the baby came and you reluctantly agreed. Your food choices also began to slip as soon as the craving started. Things you hadn't eaten in years were suddenly all you could think about and Loki would get you anything you asked for, day or night no matter how odd or hard to find. In the nine months you were pregnant, you had put on almost half of what you had originally lost and you felt as if you were a failure. Your biggest fear was that Loki would no longer find you attractive unless you lost the weight quickly.

A soft knock on the door causes you to jump in surprise. "Y/N," Loki says from the other side of the door. "Can we talk for a moment?"

A wave of worry spreads over you, whether it is rational or not and you respond, "Just let me get dressed." You hadn't let Loki see you without clothes on since you were almost seven months pregnant. You step out of the tub and grab a towel to dry yourself, sighing when you try to wrap the towel around your body and it barely closes. Holding it in place, you walk over to the vanity and suddenly realize you hadn't brought clean clothes to change into. All you had was the ill-fitting towel and the clothing you had worn the night before.

Loki knocks again, "Can I come in?"

"No," you respond quickly and you hear him take a step back from the door.

"Darling, are you alright?" he asks, the concern heavy in his voice.

"I'm fine, I just..." your words trail off as you see yourself in the full length mirror. You hold the towel as tightly as you can, wiping away a tear that streaks down your cheek. "Loki?" you ask quietly.

"Yes love?" he responds.

"I'm sorry I'm not..." you pause, searching for the right words. "I'm sorry I don't look the way I did before I was pregnant. I know how much you loved my body then and now it's..." You gesture to yourself in the mirror as more tears begin to fall.

"Y/N, what are you talking about? You know I think you are beautiful," he says and you hear him turn the door knob.

"Stop, please," you say and the door remains closed.

There is silence from the hall for a moment then Loki says, "Darling, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you." You wipe your eyes again using the back of your hand. "Are you standing in front of the mirror?" he asks and you nod then say yes. "What do you see?"

You take a deep breath, to try and calm your breathing as you look at yourself. "I see stretch marks everywhere," you say unable to hide your disappointment. "My stomach is flabby and my hips have gotten wider, none of my old pants or shirts fit anymore. Even your clothes, I tried to wear one of your shirts the other day and it wasn't loose like it used to be, it barely fit. My thighs are thicker and my arms jiggle, I see the spider veins on my legs and even my fingers feel swollen," you list all of the things you hate about your appearance and wait terrified for Loki to agree with you.

"Do you know what I see?" he asks and you stifle a sob. "I see the love of my life and the mother of my child. I see the woman who means more to me than anything in the nine realms," he says through the door. "I see someone who is full of strength and determination, who is caring and selfless, quick witted and exquisite. Y/N, my queen, you are a goddess."

You wrap your arms around yourself as you listen to Loki, etching his words into your mind in the hopes that they will keep your thoughts at bay.

"I know you don't feel proud of your body in this moment darling, but your body has given me the greatest gift I have or will ever receive," he tells you. You close your eyes and think back to the day you told Loki you were pregnant. That was the happiest you had ever seen him but it paled in comparison to the day you both met your daughter.

He then asks, "Do you love me less when I am in my Jotun form then you do when I am in my Asgardian form?"

"What? No, of course not," you tell him honestly. "I love you the same no matter which form you take."

"Then how could my love for you vary based on something as simple as your weight?" he asks and you struggle to find an answer. "Please, come out," he says and you wipe your eyes again.

You sniffle and bite your lip, "I don't have any clothes." A small green flash appears on the vanity and you slip on the jeans and t-shirt Loki conjured for you.

You open the door and find yourself frozen as you look down at Loki, kneeling in front of you. He smiles as he reaches to take one of your hands in his, your other hand quickly covering your mouth. "I wanted to do this next month for our anniversary but..." he pauses, opening his free hand to reveal a small velvet green ring box.

"Loki?" you ask, feeling your heart begin to race.

"I have loved you since the moment you awkwardly asked me to see a movie with you," he says and you giggle. "Y/N, you mean more to me then I could ever put into words, you are the one I've been waiting for my whole life. You are my queen, my love, my everything and I want to know if you will do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Yes!" you answer excitedly before Loki can even open the ring box. He stands up, wrapping his arms around you as he pulls you to him. He presses his lips to yours but the sudden sound of your daughter waking up hungry causes you to pull away.

"One moment, my little princess," Loki says with a laugh as he opens the box and slips the ring onto your finger.

Please let me know if you want to be added or taken off the tag list 💚💚

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zprites · 2 months

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Lucifer x Female OC Below!!!

Oh hey, wow it's been a while since I've shared anything I've written, huh? Well I have good news! I have multiple wips that I will finish this year so be on the look out (nothing TMNT related unfortunately, for my hyperfixations have gone all over the place... oops).

Yes, I fell down the Hazbin/Helluva hole and I don't see me leaving anytime soon. So read this! I wrote a little drabble for @unknownfanartist (who I love and adore, no matter how much she stinks <3) with her OC, Penelope (you can find her info here) and Lucifer. Just a small SFW brainworm that ate at me earlier and I had to stop writing my Alastor fic to appease the little wriggler.

This is not proof-read in the slightest so if you see any mistakes, no you don't. *points a can of silly string right at you*

Enjoy!

Diamonds and Coal

When left alone with his thoughts, Lucifer found himself wondering where he went wrong. Sure, he had the chance now to be there for his daughter, supporting her endeavors to lead Sinners down the path of redemption, no matter how fruitless he believed the idea to be. That was until he got word from Heaven that the first ever redeemed soul had crossed the pearly gates during the last extermination, and everything he knew had been pulled into question.

Was he wrong to dismiss Sinners so easily? He supposed he could chalk up his view to his own regrets in life. Countless nights were spent feeling bitter over his previous actions, hating the fact he granted free will to all of humanity without so much as a second thought. He even began to hate himself for it.

But now, watching Charlie bring her dream to life, something he tried and ultimately failed to do, he knew that he made the right choice. He’d met so many Sinners who have chosen to call the hotel their ‘home’ and honestly, he was growing rather fond of them all.

Especially her.

Penelope… After meeting the woman who was the hotel’s resident art therapist all those months ago, the woman was still an enigma to him. She was quiet, so much so that he sometimes forgot she was in the same room as him, though that was in the beginning. As of late, he couldn’t walk into a room without first looking for the artist and upon spotting the brunette, Lucifer would make his way towards her and start a conversation. Well, ‘conversation’ was putting it mildly. They were more one-sided than anything. Not that he minded one bit, he could talk uninterrupted for hours.

He just couldn’t figure out what her deal was.

She often kept to herself, really only interacting with other guests to help with exercises that would hopefully help them through whatever hang ups and traumas they may have. And it seemed like she had a lot of her own, from what little Lucifer could glean from her. Yet he couldn’t help but feel drawn to her. It didn’t help that she was beautiful.

He had no idea when his compliments on her art shifted to flirtatious remarks aimed at her. Maybe it was when he found out about Lilith spending the past seven years in Heaven after their separation, wanting nothing to do with her family and actively trying to thwart all the hard work their daughter has put into this place? Or maybe it was when he first realized his stance on Sinners was not fair to the souls who were giving redemption an honest chance?

It was true he thought that all Sinners were nothing but violent psychopaths. He had even thought the same about her, assuming whatever she had done while she was alive was something that could never be forgiven. But he was proven wrong - not all Sinners were like that. Maybe she wasn’t as well. After all, she was choosing to help people with her craft. She couldn’t really be all that bad, right?

The answer to that question came to him much quicker than he’d anticipated.

It was like any other night. He was up late as usual, looking over a seemingly never ending pile of paperwork that only grew each morning. However as he looked over some new plans for the hotel that Charlie had handed him earlier, the words on the page were beginning to blur, a clear sign that he needed to take a break.

With a groan, he pushed himself up to his feet and stepped out of his room. Some fresh air would do him some good…

Though as he walked towards the expansive balcony near the rear of the building, he noticed a light on at the end of the hallway, a familiar humming emanating from the room. Curiosity got the better of him and he found himself moving on his own towards the artist’s studio. Inside, Penelope sat on a stool in front of a large canvas that almost reached the ceiling, the colors appearing blocky and barely resembling any shapes except at the bottom where she worked. After looking at the painting for a few moments, he could glean that it appeared to be a depiction of water, the figure of a woman laying underneath it, reaching towards the surface while several air bubbles escaped her open mouth.

As if sensing she was being watched, the woman ceased her song and turned to look at where he stood in the doorway.

A nervous chuckle escaped him as he waved. “Ah, knock knock…?”

Way to sound like an idiot, idiot, he chastised himself mentally.

“Can I help you with something, sir?” Penelope asked, her voice holding a monotonous and even tone that seemed to never leave her. He didn’t know when he’d grown to love her voice regardless of how uninterested she may sound. It was part of her charm.

“I told you to stop calling me that, Penelope. Just Lucifer is fine.” He said. The woman raised a brow at him before turning back to her painting, dipping her brush into some brown before gently swiping the bristles over the canvas.

Lucifer watched in silence as she worked, captivated by the way she layered each brushstroke with careful precision. God, she was stunning. The large overhead light casted almost an ethereal aura around her, catching the dust particles that sparkled as they floated along. She looked so peaceful like this.

His gaze traveled from her face to her fingers, pale skin turning dark at her fingertips where she held her brush with care as she swirled it in a pool of deep blue on her palette. Not only was she captivating, but she was a damned good artist that clearly took pride in her craft, pouring nothing but love into each piece. Several of her works graced the halls and spaces of the hotel, like the portrait of Sir Pentious that hung in the foyer. Many of the guests even had their own Penelope-original in their rooms, alongside their own art that was crafted during their stays. He was only slightly disheartened that he didn’t have one of his own. Maybe he should ask. Would it be weird to ask? None of the others had to ask. No, it would definitely be weird to ask. Oh- crap she was looking at him.

He gave her a half-smile as her brows furrowed. He could swear a hint of distrust flash in her amber eyes as she spoke. “What?”

“What?” He repeated.

Penelope rolled her eyes. “You’ve been staring at me.”

“Oh, I am? I was uh… I-”

His words were coming out in a disjointed mess, crimson eyes shifting as his hands moved about as he struggled to find the right words. It wasn’t until he had to forcibly stop himself and take a deep breath that he got his thoughts in order. “I’m just trying to figure you out.”

She blinked at him, her face staying perfectly blank as she turned her attention back to the canvas. “Well, don’t.”

“Oh c’mon, I know next to nothing about you!” Lucifer remarked, a small seed of hope planting in his chest that maybe he would finally get her to open up tonight.

“Good, let’s keep it that way.” Penelope brushed some of the blue onto a bit of gray, gently dabbing the brush so as to not mix the colors too much.

“No no no, not ‘good’. It’s not good.” He let out a small laugh though anything about the situation was humorous. “You make a big deal about using art as a way of expressing emotions and feelings yet you keep yourself so closed off. Oh, don’t look at me that way. Of course I noticed, and I’m sure everyone else has too.”

Her focus was on him as he spoke, eyes cold as if she didn’t appreciate him voicing his observations on her. A sigh left her upon realizing he wouldn’t be backing down from this and resigned herself to her fate. “I keep to myself because it keeps me safe.”

“Safe from what?” He questioned, glad that he was finally getting something out of her but eager to know anything she was willing to give him.

A stretch of silence passed between them until she gave him an answer. “From getting hurt…”

Confusion gripped his entire body as his forehead creased. “What are you talking about? No one here wants to hurt you.”

“I know.” She stated plainly before cursing under her breath. Setting down the brush she grabbed a towel, pressing it to a small area on the canvas in an effort to minimize the damage of her mistake.

Lucifer was beginning to understand now.

“Is that why you’re so reserved? Because you’re afraid of someone getting too close, afraid of someone getting to know you, earning your trust, only for them to hurt you in the end.”

Penelope’s body grew rigid as his words hung heavy in the air and he knew he hit the nail in the coffin. So that’s what this was all about, he thought to himself, feeling almost proud that he’d figured it out, but that feeling was slowly fading away as the silence stretched longer. He hoped he didn’t take it too far and mess things up. How could he fix this?

“You know, not everyone is like that.” He began while taking a step closer to her, bringing his hands behind his back to fiddle with his fingers. “There are good people out there, even in this infernal afterlife that seems to only bring out the worst inside everyone.”

She hesitantly met his eyes as he paused, taking a second to swallow the nerves that came to him suddenly before getting to his point. “Like you.”

“Me?” Doubt somehow finding its way into her monotoned way of speaking as her nose crinkled in disbelief.

Cute, he told himself but quickly squashed that thought down.

“Yeah!” He exclaimed. “You’re kind and have incredible talent! And you’re patient with everyone here, even if they’re getting on your last nerve with using the wrong type of brushes or wasting supplies. Sometimes I feel as though you’re the only sane one here. Well, besides me, of course.” He let out a small huff of amusement at his own joke before composing himself.

“And… And even if you don’t believe me, just know that you’re pretty special, especially in a place like this. A brilliant diamond amongst a sea of coal. Anyone would be lucky to have the chance to get to know you, the real you.” Lucifer expressed, his eyes shining with the same truthfulness he spoke with.

Penelope regarded him for a beat, golden pools encased in black flitting back and forth between his own eyes before shaking her head. “I’m not someone worth knowing.”

“I think you are…” He whispered.

Then her shoulders shook, a silent giggle wracking her frame as he felt his jaw go slack. In the several months of knowing her, he had never seen her laugh, granted it wasn’t a full one but still! He did that! He made her feel happy!

He wanted to do it again, and again, and again. Suddenly he wondered what it would feel like to be the reason for her happiness. He wanted to touch her, to hold her close, to tell her how much he cared for her before kissing her, to-.

Oh…

Her amusement quieted down and he could swear that the corners of her mouth were twitching. “Then you’re more of an idiot than I thought you were.”

Lucifer felt his heart do a flip as he noticed the smile that graced her lips, so small that he almost missed it.

He was in deep shit.

“Well!” He all but shouted, clearing his throat as he scratched the back of his neck. “I should uh- go! Gotta get back to the office before the paperwork decides to have babies, hah ha…”

He clapped his hands together as he turned to leave with awkward movements, almost falling on his ass in the process. As he reached the door he looked over his shoulder to see that her smile was gone but her eyes still gleamed with mirth.

“You have a good night, Penelope.”

He was barely two steps away when he heard her call back to him in a gentle tone instead of her usual even voice. “You too, Lucifer.”

With a dumb grin that refused to go away, he trekked back to his room, ignoring the mountains of paper that surrounded his desk and making a beeline for his bed, flopping onto the plush comforter. He had no idea how long he stayed there, laying on his back and staring up at the patterned, red fabric that draped over the canopy frame as he replayed the interaction with Penelope over and over again in his mind. It wasn’t until morning broke over the horizon that he realized he’d spent all night thinking about her.

It wasn’t until he heard the rest of the hotel come to life that he moved, getting up to seek out some coffee. As he left his room, he caught sight of a thin rectangle wrapped in brown parchment paper. He picked up the package that was clearly a painting and saw a note taped onto the front that read ‘Even a diamond needs reminding that they’re someone worth knowing. - P’.

Excitement coursed through him as Lucifer went back into his room and carefully ripped through the wrapping. It was a simple painting that couldn’t be bigger than two by three feet, but he was more drawn to the flower that was depicted on the canvas. A pair of hands delicately held a singular white orchid, the dark colors of the background and the skin making the brightness of the flower all the more radiant.

He blinked in amazement at the painting, surprised that she was able to make something so pretty so quickly, though he could vaguely remember her going on about how some paints dry faster than others. With a large grin he scanned the walls, deciding that right next to his desk would be a perfect place to hand the art since he would be able to turn and see it often.

Heat creeped onto his face as he thought this, bringing a hand to cover his face as he groaned.

These feelings… They were going to be a problem, weren’t they?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer x oc #hazbin lucifer #their ship name is 'broken hallelujah'#these two idiots #so stinky #/affectionate

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angrylizardjacket · 3 years

Text

it's in the blood // this is tradition

Summary: Children inherit all sorts of traits from their parents. Not all these traits are good.

"My reputation preceded me before I was born."

[ charlotte & lola au ]

A/N: 2292 words. Halsey's new album killed me on the spot. i talk a lot about the next gen being mirrors of their parents, but i'd like to go into detail about that not necessarily being a positive. @misscharlottelee this made me feel things. i love these kids.

Warnings: overdose mention, addiction discussion, mentions of drug abuse.

Penelope Dingley-Lee

Tommy can count the amount of times he'd seen Razzle truly angry on one hand, and here and now he can see it again, written all over his neice's face. He'd thought she would look like Charlie when she's angry, and occasionally she does, the way her lip curls derisively, dismissively, that's very reminiscent of his cousin, but here and now, her blue eyes are hazy, cloudy, and her lips twist with an irate arrogance that is worryingly familiar.

Angry and high and wearing clothes that don't quite match, in this moment she's exactly her father's daughter.

She's been in the papers again. Her tits have been in magazines again. Tommy bites down on his instinctual desire to repremand her; she'd call him a hypocrite, call him an old man, tell him to keep his opinions to himself while she could still buy his sex tape out of a shady car boot down the street.

Charlie was like that too, on occasion, wit too quick for him to keep up with. When she got into a mood like this, Tommy didn't have to worry so much; usually Razzle would egg her on, but knew when to pull her back.

"It's my god given, motherfucking right to go feral -" he'd heard Charlie back in the eighties holler at three in the morning, high on amphetamines and waving a gossip rag above her head. Razzle would be on the sofa, equally fucked up, but gazing at her like she hung the stars in the sky.

"Lola gets photographed at least once a month stark naked along the strip like it's a sport, why is my Playboy shoot a national crisis?! My tits are fantastic!"

"They are, my love," Razzle nods seriously, and Tommy pulls his pillow from beneath his head, trying to either block out their voices through the thin walls, or maybe smother himself. The girl beside him, the groupie whose name he doesn't know, asks blearily why there's so much yelling. Tommy doesn't answer.

A week later, Tommy is the one to bail out Charlie and Razzle for public indecency, and they're both beaming from ear to ear.

Here in the present, Penny is draped out on the sofa, laughing low and pleased as she watches TV.

"TMZ blurred out my tits," she snorts, "cowards."

"Penny..." he can't help the faintly disappointed notes in his voice when he says her name.

"Thomas, I've read The Dirt," Penny fires back venemously. Hypocrite he hears in her tone, you have no power over me.

There's something hollow in her eyes in the photos he sees of her in the papers. She wears her father's inflluence and her heart on her crushed velvet sleeve, on the arm of a shallow, pretty, band boy who plays badly and loudly. But she laughs louder, though tthe sound is low and unconvincing if anyone bothered to listen hard enough, and Tommy wonders if he has enough dark hair dye left for when that boy breaks her heart.

Jupiter Lee

Tommy is proud to watch Jupiter on stage, but he is afraid.

Their anger is something he remembers from Lola, the way they cling to the past with vitriol echoes their mother, but on stage, they drink up the attention, get high off the love the audience gives, and he sees himself in those moments.

A child of addicts, Jupiter had drawn lines in the sand for themselves that they refused to cross; no alcohol, no drugs, and they'd stayed loyal to that. But highs come in all forms; they simply picked a different kind of poison without realising.

On stage, halfway between the gutter and a god complex, Tommy knows the smile they wear all too well.

Rebellion from Jupiter didn't shock the world like it did when it was Penny's name in the papers. Jupiter's trajectory was spot on in the eyes of the public, but rebellion wouldn't be the thing that broke them.

Once, so long ago that it's a miracle the memory survived, Tommy remembers asking Lola what she would be doing if she wasn't with the band. Lola gave him an easy, bleary smile, laughing sweetly when she told him that one way or another, she'd be here. In the moment it overwhelms him with love. In hindsight it breaks his heart.

"Come on, I think this is inevitable," Jupiter smiles on television as an interviewer asks them the same question; if they weren't making music what they'd be doing, "as if I'd do anything other than this."

'Don't you know where I come from?' is left unspoken, but Tommy still hears it.

He tries to picture himself in a life without the world at his feet the way he has now. No image comes to mind. Nothing else makes sense. Even if he wanted to do something else, wanted to grow up to be something else, he couldn't even begin to picture it for himself, tragedy and all.

They play their parts. They let history repeat itself. Jupiter makes mistakes Tommy and Lola had already learned from. Penny plays Jupiter's conciousness until the role grates on her nerves, diving head first into chaos, taking Jupiter with her with little convincing.

Tommy remembers this too.

When the world looks at Penny and Jupiter, they like to remember how Lola was seen as a bad influence on Charlotte, but forget that Tommy would have followed Charlotte in to Hell without hesitation.

Leo "Seo" Sixx

Lola has google alerts set up for her son, Seo, because he disappears for months without warning. Tommy asks how he is, and Lola looks to her phone with a tight smile, telling him that he's competeing in a skateboarding competition in Prague. She learned that from Twitter.

Seo comes and goes without warning, and talks to his siblings more than his parents. He loves them, but he hasn't allowed himself to stop for years. He doesn't know how. Then again, neither did Lola or Nikki.

"Jupiter thinks a lot about legacy, don't they?" He's in Tommy's kitchen, eating a poptart, when Tommy returns home one friday evening. He's waiting for Penny and Jupiter to finish getting ready, the three of them going out.

"Do your parents know you're in town?" Tommy asks with faint amusement, though there's a twinge of guilt in his gut when Leo considers that he should probably let them know. Says he forgot. Tommy's not sure if he believes him; like his parents before him, he tends to leave a lot unsaid. It's part of his charm, the world seems to think, but Tommy knows all to well how deliberate of an act it can be.

"Jup's got all this stuff in their head about legacy and who they should be," he continues his earlier thought, "which I guess makes sense, they tie a lot of themselves up in their identity," he shrugs, then, "I don't know Leo."

Tommy's not sure if he's talking about the grandfather he's named after, or himself.

"You've given this a lot of thought," Tommy says quietly, humouring him.

"I think a lot," Seo responds, "I've been thinking about going back on my meds, its weird being off of them." Of course this concerns Tommy, who knows objectively that Seo isn't his kid, but he's close enough that Tommy feels like he's allowed to be concerned. "I'm worried a doctor's note isn't going to be enough to let me compete at the Olympics on speed," falls too casually from Seo's lips, alarming Tommy in an instant. Though it must clearly show on his face, as Seo breaks out into an apologetic grin, "dextroamphetamine, for my ADHD. I've been trying to wean off it for the Olympics, it's been hard -" but his next words, said so blithe, so casual, have Tommy's heart stopping in his chest as he's thrown back thirty years, "I've been on them since I was like eleven years old; it was great, I could think, like the right amount, but now I... I think everything. I feel everything. Its a lot." He shrugs, like he didn't just become an echo of his father.

Seo's parents both died twice from overdoses, and now their son feels like he can't function without amphetamines.

Objectively Tommy knows that they work for Seo, that he's not abusing them he simply uses them to help him function, but the irony is not lost on him. It's a lot to unpack. He doesn't think to ask about the Olympics; it slips his mind until he sees Seo and a silver medal on his Twitter feed.

Lola calls Tommy in tears. She's proud, but she wishes she'd known, wishes she'd been able to watch it live, or go over and support him in person.

No-one in Seo's life seems to fully know or understand his intentions or actions, no-one can predict his next move. He puts up a bright facade, but like his parents before him, he does not trust the world to know him.

They don't know where he goes in the few months after the Olympics, all they know is that he doesn't come home.

Cerie "CerieThree" Sixx

Since she'd turned sixteen, Tommy has never seen Cerie Sixx without a smile. That is a very deliberate choice that she's made.

She's made a choice to rise above the percieved grime of her origins. She's halfway across the country, smiling for a camera she can control, editing her image before she lets it out into the world. Cerie Three - even the name the world knows reflects this; she's picked apart the context she was born into, disecting it, deciding which was useful to show the world, disposing of the rest.

She speaks warmly to her family, from what Tommy can gather, but the people on the peripheries of their life seem more like associates in the coldest sense of the world. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes half the time when she sees Tommy, and she shakes his hand when her brothers will hug him. The internet is closer to her than he is.

Cerie looks the most like her mother of all her siblings; she's 21, the exact same age Lola was when she met Tommy, but half the time he can barely see the resemblence. Lola had let the world see a villain at that age; Cerie had learned from that, had rejected that, rejected the cold, hard humanity of her mother's fronting. Cerie wanted to be perfect. Cerie had to be perfect, hyper aware of her own image, like her siblings seem to be, but the way she'd so effectively shaped her public identity was kind of terrifying.

Perhaps this was what it was like for people who didn't know Lola, only allowed to know the image she put out into the world, or people who only knew Nikki for his stage presence.

But the more Tommy thinks about it, the more he remembers just how effectively Lola had wrapped the band around her little finger when she set her mind to it, how she talked her way around exectives despite being dressed like she'd woken up in the gutter and fucked up on any number of drugs. Lola understood people, and it seemed Cerie did too.

Cerie Sixx, twenty one, doesn't stop creating content, doesn't stop studying, and doesn't stop smiling. Two of those three things are inhereted traits, inhereted determination, and the third is a choice.

Cyrus Sixx

Though Cyrus had inhereted much of his parent's musical talent, the same way Jupiter had, Cyrus had also inhereted a love of the high life. Even so, he's so full of love, kissing his mother on both cheeks before he goes out to get shitfaced in the bars she was decades before he was even born.

He works hard, at his job, on his music, but his partying matches it just as well. He knows exactly how far he has to fall before he meets the depths his parents' had sunk to, and though he doesn't voice this, his arrogance comes across in his actions.

There'd always be someone to pull him away from swan diving to rock bottom. He takes that for granted, and keeps getting closer and closer.

The only one of Nikki and Lola's children who still lives at home, he's the only one like them in the way they'd feared.

"He's going to have more success than he will ever be able to comprehend," Nikki had told Tommy, the day after Cyrus had been admitted to hospital after staying up for four days while high and obsessing over a song he had been working on. Nikki had found him having a fit after having fallen from his desk chair. Now, sitting on Tommy's patio in the sunset, he looks tired, he looks afraid, "if he doesn't end up killing himself first."

A month ago, the fire department and the police had to pull him, kicking and screaming and bareass naked from a tree in the middle of town. His parents had bailed him out, had felt a familiar sting of guilt as they find themselves reminded of their own youthful exploits. They repremand him, of course, but they both know the only reason they stopped climbing trees was because there had been no-one to pick them up after.

Nikki sees himself in his sons mistakes, but he'd had to learn concequences the hard way.

Tommy loves his family and all it's strange branches, as well as their raucous youth, but his closest friends were some of the most volatile people he'd known, and somehow he'd forgotten that as time as taken people and memories from him.

But these children were made in their image.

#nikki sixx #tommy lee #razzle dingley #nikki sixx x oc #tommy lee x oc #razzle dingley x oc #the dirt #motley crue #the dirt imagine #motley crue imagine #charlotte&lola #lola & charlotte #the angry lizard writes #the pack

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eclectic-nb · 4 years

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1/? Hi I'm an ocean witch and I'm currently doing a month-long ritual leading up to my birthday in August. The point of it requires some context: I grew up in a Southern state, not a drop of ocean water to be found, yet ever since I discovered the ocean when I was young, I've always felt drawn to it. I'm a big believer in past lives and believe I may have been something ocean-related in one. But I've always felt connected to the water. Bodies of water, in general, but specifically the ocean.

1/? I've always dreamt of how the waves look, how it would be to swim past a kelp forest and coral reef into the vast empty expanse of blue water. To see a storm from underneath, the surface torn by winds and rain. And I've always felt drawn to merfolk. Growing up, there were many little plants around my yard. We had a honeysuckle bush on the fence, a bush in the yard that grew bundles of little purple and pink flowers, a peach tree, tulips in the backyard and tons and tons of fairy rings.

1/? I would water these plants and never, ever step in the fairy rings since I knew old tales of humans who would. After I left, everything, even the fairy rings, died. When I was 10 years old, I found a spell online that by now, everyone's knows of or heard of it, where you would wear a charm necklace for a week, say the spell in the bath under a full moon, and become a merperson when the week was up. I did it, having this really beautiful heart stone that shone different colors and since lost.

1/? But something.. weird happened. My last day of the spell was on a Friday. I remember that week (and the many before it) of dreaming, hoping, and wishing to be a merman. When I fell asleep that night, I awoke in water. A few feet off the shore, the water was clear as day. Big stone pillars covered in algae dotted the seafloor and I felt a pull to start swimming, to find something. Ahead of me I saw a flash of an orange/yellowish tail. It wasn't a dolphin or shark or anything like that.

1/? I swam after her. It felt like whoever or whatever this was had feminine energy. She turned left, right by a pillar, and I woke up. My heart was pounding and in one fluid motion, from the seconds between seeing her vanish and waking up, I ripped the necklace off. I calmed myself and went back to bed, then having a dream with hints of clouds and feathers. For years and years I've tried to figure out what this dream means, who that being was, and why I dreamt of air after that since I feel

1/? little to no connection to it. And then I grew much older, moved in with some witchy friends, and started my oceanic craft. Only.. I had a dream, a couple months ago (I can lucid dream somewhat and have always had very vivid ones). My friends and I were driving down a road I know in my town, but it was covered on either side by trees. A forest. We stopped the car by a rundown convenience store to get gas and snacks. It was the dead of night and when I looked up from the car, I saw a sky

1/? full of a thousand stars, a thousand galaxies. It was so vast and you could see every single one. I ripped my gaze away, instead going inside the store with my boyfriend and this girl with hair this shade of orange it looked almost red, piercing green eyes, and freckled white skin. I wasn't aware I hadn't seen her before in my life, and we entered. My boyfriend was asked to stay in the very small entrance, two people sat at a table in front of a door barring him from entry. They let the girl

1/? and I enter. We did and saw a rectangular table with many people sitting at it, all but one I didn't get good vibes about. The one who felt okay was at a corner seat, flashing my friend and I a kind look. I sat the table, which was filled with 3D shapes of all kinds, colorless, top and bottom. In front of me was a very large book, opened to a random page. They told us we had to solve some kind of puzzle and could use the book if needed. I kept looking at the shapes for meaning and before I

1/? knew it our time was up. Here I actively affected the dream by telling them, no, give us another chance. They reset the timer and we started. I flipped the pages to find a folded up piece of paper. I glanced at the woman at the corner seat and it was an old friend of mine. She smiled and winked at me. I looked at the book and looked back, but she was the woman from before. The page I'd flipped to had a picture of a lushous, green valley in it and a folk tale about a lava horse, similar to a

1/? kelpie but benevolent. The piece of paper had a spell written on it. But they were mad we got it and we had to escape. I wasn't worried about my boyfriend or friends, I knew they could get themselves out of trouble. I used the spell and the red-haired girl turned in the lava horse from the story. I hopped on her back and she created a portal to a valley similar to the one in the picture. When I woke in the valley, the girl (not in horse form) and I were in a car, driving in the lil valley

1/? town. One either side were strips of valley that went upward, leading to a dam that people walked on. The girl and I made our ascent and caught a group of people throwing airplanes off the bridge, but they flew so far and didn't really look like airplanes. They offered for us to throw some. I think the girl did. But I had turned to see past the dam. It was an expanse of forests and a field. It stretched on for miles. And I remember smelling the sea breeze and a splash of water before I woke

1/? And that was the dream. My roommate actually had a dream a while back with the same exact red-haired girl in it. We think she may be a Fae. I don't know what this dream means. My friends suggested it could be an introduction to elemental trials to where I have to get through them to go back to the place I dreamt of when I was 10 and that's what my ritual's for. All this month, I've been working with offerings and Caer Ibormeith, Dream Goddess, to try to go back to that spot. Not dream since

1/End I know I was younger and different. I wanted to know your thoughts and apologize for how long this got. I wanted to ensure you had plenty of context. I've also worked with certain sea energies/creatures before and though landlocked, I know my magick is powerful. I really need to get back there. To know what it all meant. And I wanted your thoughts and advice on the matter. Do you think it will be a series of trials? With Earth, Air, Fire and Water? The last dream felt like an introduction.

I also forgot to mention that since July 1, after soaking it in rainwater, I've been wearing a crystal necklace (nearly transparent, light purple/blue in color) and did a ritual bath for the Buck Moon to invoke a similar call to magick that I did at 10. Thank you for reading, sorry about all the tasks. 😳

I apologise if I miss something, so just send in another ask if I do.

First and foremost, I think you should look into starseeds. Mintakan, specifically. They are strongly drawn to water, dream of swimming, compassionate, etc etc. There’s a lot more too it but those are just some key points I noticed.

Also, your first dream kind of sounds like a memory. You should look into the meaning behind each detail and each dream. It will take a while but I think it will give you some answers. Make sure you figure out how the details are connected to each other too. (This may not apply across dreams).

I agree that the girl in your dream may be fae, too. Most have green eyes, and since yours is paired with pale skin, she’s probably a Seelie. Their hair is also indicative of their first element. Some think that the four elements are where faeries originate, which would explain why each faerie has its own element which it can control and create. Mermaid/merman faeries are also a thing and they have the ability to breathe underwater, giving them infinite air.

I believe that the mermaid in one dream and the orange haired girl in another are the same. And, assuming she is fae, she has used/incorporated all four elements in some way. (Walked by a forest, breathed under water, was an underwater creature, colour of her hair, etc).

I’m not too sure if this is a trial but you could ask your deity about it. You have a lot of signs pointing towards one as each element is a reoccurring theme in your dreams.

I also can’t help but feel the need to ask if you did ever step in a faerie circle, even accidentally. There feels like there’s something else you don’t know about the situation so that was my first thought.

One last thing. I’m not sure how you feel about this, nor how I do honestly, but it might be worth researching fae-people. As in humans that are faeries. I don’t know much about them but I know they can be either born or turned.

Don’t be shy if you want me to clarify or help with something!! Lmk if I missed something too

#magick #witchcraft #witchblr #divination #beginner witch #asks #fae #dream #faerie #elements #four elements

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