#I feel hopeless | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ace-of-hearts-and-spades · 8 days

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#i'm kind of at the end of my rope guys #i'm scared all the time #i feel powerless #i feel hopeless #things are only getting worse and it doesn't seem like there's an end in sight #every day is a struggle not to collapse under the weight of how fucking bad things are and i don't know how much longer i can do this #i just want everything to stop #vent #to be deleted

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minniedream · 9 months

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trying to come to terms w being unattractive + unpopular/unwanted is soooo difficult when you've always wished you'd one day change and your life could "be like theirs" since you were a kid

but my life just stays the same, accepting it's always going to be like this is so hard tho

being lonely and insecure your entire life is an experience barely anyone (around me) gets

they always say "but dont u have X" or "did you try Y"

like i tried changing my makeup, my hair, my clothes, plastic surgery, gaining/losing weight, studying on the other side of the country (new ppl but same shit), being quiet, being loud, pretending, being more myself... every fucking thing and it always ends the same. people leave me for others who can offer way more interesting things than me. im only ever a back up plan bc they know im a sad loser who'll take the way they treat/use me bc i only have 2 "friends"

ive cut contact w ppl who treated me badly before but now i know its useless, everyone treats me the same so why push them away when i only make myself more lonely? and most ppl just dont interact w me at all, so being used is already something ig.

does it ever get any better? am i doomed to be excluded from so many experiences others do get?

#those 'friends' are a whole diff topic for another day #its so hard #i feel hopeless #rant #actual misfit core

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charliethinks · 7 months

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change is hard. i hate changing and growing up.

#it feels like i’ve done nothing #life’s just passing by #and i cant do anything about it #i feel hopeless

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riddledem0n · 5 months

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Depressive episode over actual exhausting life? Naaahhh🚫 depressive episode over triggered source trauma✅️✅️

#i do regret having rewatched it #ive been feeling shit the more time passes #i feel hopeless #feel like I'll die alone #fictionkin might b the reason ill succesfully do self deleting in the future its not funny

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novellapink · 1 year

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I think I'll never love again, and that kills me on the inside

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unhonestlymirror · 2 years

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Maki goes to secondhand

#i can't draw #jujutsu kaisen #jjk leaks #jjk 191 #naoya zenin #is a comic relief #shitpost #i feel hopeless

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musicofthenightphantomoftheopera · 7 months

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I’m not really excited about my birthday this year…..

Come November 17, 2023, I’ll be 25 years old.

I should be excited. I should be making plans to celebrate. But I’m not. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t.

That day will just solidify the fact that Covid took away my entire early 20s. The time when I’m supposed to be going out into the world and “figuring myself out” “meeting new people” “making mistakes”and “growing as a person” according to most movies, tv, and people I’ve met. All of that stolen from me. Gone.

I have Asthma, therefore I am disabled. So I have a lot more at risk than most if I catch it. Since 2020 when the pandemic started, I stopped going out to places as often, I wore a mask at all times to protect myself, and others. I stopped going to anime conventions entirely. I didn’t even have a birthday party that year outside of the one my family had cuz I was that scared. And when the vaccines came out of course I got fully vaccinated as soon as I could, But I still exercised all those other cautions.

I like everyone else thought it would be over in a couple months or at least after the vaccines came out, But it wasn’t. due to the disturbingly widespread acceptance of abelism, eugenics, anti vax misinformation and right wing propaganda brought on by covid and those in power who simply cannot be bothered to care about anyone other than themselves & would gladly laugh & celebrate our deaths should we not survive, I like many other disabled people have been forced to become prisoners in our own houses for the last 4 years.

Nowadays I watch through my phone as people and friends alike go to anime conventions, Rennaisance fairs, and other fun life events with absolutely ZERO covid precaution to keep themselves & other safe even though the virus continues to kill ppl by the millions and act as if nothing is wrong.

I see them there and wish I could be there too having a good time and living my life. But I can’t.

(And don’t bother coming at me with the whole “you can’t expect us to mask forever, it’s restricting!” First of all of you don’t wanna end up like me or worse you kind of have to and second of all. It is a goddam peice of fabric over your face. I am asthmatic and I can breathe in not one but TWO masks perfectly fine. So can you ya goddam crybaby. Get it together. )

I know if I go if catch it and run the risk of becoming more disabled than I already am. All the conventions I wanted to go to, the Rennaisance fairs I could’ve attended. All the plans I had for my future were ripped away from me. But not a lot seem to care.

Because the universal truth about ppl in America is that not a lot of people give a fuck about disabled people. Most of them see us as less than human and actively want us to die. Even if it’s their own family members or friends. Anyone the claim to care about. No one is safe.

You have no idea how many horror stories I have of people saying “it’s only killing the elderly and the disabled, so who cares?!” Not only is that ungodly vile but also wholly untrue. It’s killing & disabling ppl my age and also children. But again. Not enough care.

I used to be so excited about seeing what the world had in store for me in the future. But now I don’t think I have one anymore. And how can I be excited to experience a world with so much ugliness that I’m pretty much risking my life every time I leave the house nowadays?

If the plague doesn’t get me there’s the risk of a wacko that just so happens to have a gun deciding to shoot up a place because of their inhumane ideology or they were “having a bad day” or run the risk of a man literally doing one of the worst possible things you can do to another human and knowing that because of the state I live in, I will be penalized or even imprisoned for not wanting a rapists baby.

It makes me never want to leave the house again even though I desperately want to. And want to be part of the world again. But I can’t. Because even if I do nothing at all, I’ll be punished. But I don’t really know what I can do or if there’s anything I can do to fight back besides voting. I have no political power. I have almost no money no matter how hard I try to work for some, And no resources. I also recently moved to a very rural area. I have no friends that live near me nor do I know or know if I can trust anyone here, therefor Di have no community to rely on. Besides my family I’m basically completely isolated. And it feels like my granny and I are the only sane ones left in my family because my mom and stepdad refuse to wear masks. My mom got the vaccine but refuses to mask.

I can’t leave because 1 I’m broke, 2 I’m also autistic which actually bans me from gaining citizenship/a visa in certain countries, and 3, this fascist ideology is spreading and abelism and covid are still pretty much everywhere. There is no true escape.

I can’t even get any therapy for what I’ve been through due to the US Healthcare system being a sick joke and I can’t afford it and of course the risk of having an ableist therapist or one who has zero experience with autistic ppl or one that’s just there to collect a paycheck.

What am I supposed to do? Why do I even bother trying anymore? What’s the point of living if I’m just living in a constant state of fear, anxiety, anger and hopelessness and misery? I can’t get excited about Halloween, Christmas, or even my own birthday anymore because I’m so emotionally exhausted and I feel so hopeless. And don’t even get me started on climate change anxiety.

There’s not really a point to this. I just needed to vent and wanted to share my experience.

#I feel hopeless #hopeless #personal vent #vent post #disabled #i hate it here #just why #i feel alone #mental health #trauma #abelism #i don’t want to feel like this anymore #i don’t want to die #i’m tired #isolated

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rainingmbappe · 9 months

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Anyone else going through major academic years of their lives. I feel like it's do or die. I'm positively dying

#the pressure is real #kemsmsmskszmkskdmskdskkz #i feel hopeless #but we persevere

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aminetko · 2 years

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Alien(1979)

#i feel so bad after rewatching alien series #i feel hopeless #alien 1979 #alien movie #alien fanart #alien saga #ellen ripley #jonesy #ripley and jonesy #ripley my poor meow meow #art #digital art #art study #woman artist

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orcgirlcock · 1 year

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😵‍💫

#i want a partner #i want a partner so goddamn much #i want to be touched lovingly with no alterior motives #just to make me feel loved #i want to go to bed with someone and hold each other as we fall asleep #i want someone to tell me I'm pretty...#and mean it.#i want to curl up in someone's arms while they give me little kisses and tell me they love me and that everything is gonna be okay #and I have no fucking clue where to start if I want to find a partner #i feel hopeless #vent

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this-violence-of-mine · 2 years

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lowkey hate my vagina just because it's not working right. i'm eighteen, no period, vaginal sex is the most painful thing in the world to me, and anytime i fucking try insertion it always ends the fucking same. i just want to have normal sex man :(

#on the verge of tears tbh #this looks like it'll never fucking end #and my doctor figures it's because i have hormone issues #but the only endocrinologist is an hour away and i never have a ride available #i feel hopeless #i wish i could have normal sex and periods and all that #i'm just p upset #vent tw

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thedarkcoven · 2 years

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i’m exhausted, im frustrated, i am just overall fed up with everything. Crying on and off because it seems like no matter how hard we try, my husband and I get the shit end of everything. We’ve tried everything to fix our problems we have with our shit hole of an apartment and 1) the city isn’t doing anything to help like they should 2) the slumlords we ahve dont care about anything but money; they haven’t fixed ANYTHING in our apartment and its been about 2 years since they’ve became our new landlords. I am extremely embarrassed to say this but we have dealt with bed bugs for as long as we can remember due to the old tenants that lived in this apartment and we didn’t know about it until it was too late. We ahve tried chemicals, rubbing alcohol, steaming, heat treating, EVERYTHING you can think of even to throwing everything away and we are still dealing with the problem. I am pregnant with my second child and I am just so fed up with not being able to do anything or being able to get out of this place. Rent everywhere is way too god damn high. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am so helpless and can’t stop crying due to exhaustion and frustration. I just want to find a better place so we can leave all our old shit that’s infested behind in the trash so we can finally be free of the pests. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve lost hope a long time ago. I just can’t anymore.

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breannacasey · 2 months

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I am more anxious than usual these days, I don't know why, and I failed to properly express that to my therapist because I also struggle with communication

#i feel hopeless #i don't know what to do #i'm anxious about everything i can't relax #and it's annoying my best friend #about me #my post

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perfectlyasymmetrical · 4 months

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i feel so sick to my stomach i want to stop paying taxes that fund the war against palestinians and i want to stop paying student loan debt which funds the war against palestinians

#i feel hopeless #i have been boycotting and posting and raising awareness but i feel like i cant do anything else that would help #i want to be the person who supports their beliefs wholeheartedly but i dont want to go to prison

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