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fuzzydreamin · 8 months

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My Fallout Writing Projects + Ideas

Alright, here's a list of the things I have for anyone interested in my plans and dumb thoughts.

I'm only trying to actively work on my main stories atm, but I hope to get to a few of my side stories at some point too - probably as palette cleaners between writing my bigger projects.

Main Stories

Give Me Sanctuary

Fallout 4 retelling. It's a huge project that's gonna cover pretty much all of the in-game content retold as a story, as well as changing things so that they make more sense both for being told as a story instead of a game that has to have a certain amount of tracks, and just in general for the things that don't make too much sense as they are atm. Multiple POV, centered on my OC built from the base female player model - Nora.

Tons of additions too. Companions will all have even more of a personal story and conclusions, relationships of all kinds will be explored, and background characters will be fleshed out, including bringing in some NPCs that are basically nobody or barely exist in-game beyond a mention, etc.

It's gonna be long, it's gonna be very self-indulgent, and it's gonna take me time, but time passes anyway and I'm gonna have fun putting it all together. It's for me.

Icarus Into Acheron

Fallout 3 story all about Alberta. I'll probably have to make this one while working on GMS as it would help make sense of things when Al shows up in Nora's story - though that won't be until somewhere around the final third or quarter. It won't be as long as GMS either, as I won't be going into the whole of Fo3 or hopefully doing too many massive rewrites to the games' story.

Mostly covers leaving Vault 101 to taking down the Enclave and the changes and challenges Al faces between then. There will still be a lot of the side quest stuff included as Al works their way around the Capital Wasteland gaining caps and contacts, but I'll also likely be leaving some of the side quests and DLC stuff for smaller additional stories rather than having them all together. They need things to do during their wandering phase after all.

While I said earlier that it would help make sense of Al's background and personality, I won't say that it would be required reading as IIA will have themes of SA which some might not be comfortable reading (it'd be dub-con moreso than non-con but that's a personal line to draw and I feel a warning is still needed). While violence in general isn't something I'll be shying away from in GMS, IIA will certainly be a much darker story overall mostly because of these themes and their impact on Al and the story.

But don't worry if you wouldn't want to read that, there will still be a certain level of explanation going on in GMS for Nora (and the reader) to understand the situation anyway. It just gives a deeper look into how everything came to be in relation to what's going on with Al. Writing the actual story down mostly helps me know what is concrete about it all - there's a lot I hesitate to say is canon about my OCs and stories until it's written down in full context and I don't hate it.

Side Stories

These may not happen in the orders listed - or some at all depending on how the main stories go. They're just ideas I have so far that don't fit into the main stories, usually because they don't happen in the timeframe of them.

Icarus Related

The Pitt - How Al gets caught up in that and deals with it. And it doesn't end any of the ways the game lets you do so because it's dumb and I hate it.

Mothership Zeta - Being kidnapped by aliens is canon to Al.

Point Lookout - Al hanging out with annoying the pants off of Desmond. Would defs have his POV and how he thinks of Al, comparing them to a mutt dog. They're a menace but a menace he can use. It'll be fun.

Harold/Bob might be it's own story. Maybe other interesting side quests that don't fit into the timeframe of IIA.

GMS Related

Danse leading an expedition on the newly refurbished USS Constitution to find wild horses/sleipnir for the Minutemen (Preston's busy and Danse knows more about ships in general). Has a few other companions along for the ride, as well as a lot of crewmembers under his command. Danse has a great time (/sarc).

Captain Zao fixing up the Yangtze so that he can go home, taking a test voyage that leads to Vault 120 - Idea surrounded Nora being the one to go with him (she tells very few people about the submarine) but she might be busy during the timeframe I initially planned for...

How Nora loses her leg several years after GMS.

Series of small prequel fics about the companions lives before the start of Fallout 4 - Origin stories. Things like M7-97 escaping the Institute and becoming Danse, Nicks earlier days out in the wastes and going from handyman to detective, Deacon and Barbara. Stuff like that.

Future fic. The kids have their own adventure. This is where my girl Barbie comes from, but she's not really a main character /doesn't get many if any POVs.

Alternate Universe Stories

Some of these have rough outlines, some are still just collections of ideas. I'm not actively writing any of these since I'm just focusing on my main fic, and some plot points in them won't make sense without being able to reference back to base-game changes and large events in GMS anyway. These essentially go in order of which I have more planned out.

We Dig Two Graves

Part 1: Fools Rush In: The bombs didn't fall. War continues on. Nora, unable to rejoin the JAG now that she's had Shaun and wants to stay close to him, joins the Cambridge police in some way (probs not an officer - need to look into it) and meets human Nick Valentine post the whole Eddie thing.

Very slice of life slow-burn romance with some drama and mystery tossed in. Explorations of love and grief and morality and the burdens of society, culminating in the two eventually going against the law and secretly hunting Eddie and his lot down. Nick and Nora end up having a daughter together - poly with Nate.

Part 2: Where Angels (Fear To) Tread: The bombs do fall! Now several years after when they should have (Shaun is about 3-4).

This time thing doesn't change much else about the world itself besides what explicitly happened in the prequel cause I can't be fucked doing all that. Human Nick went into Vault 111 with Nora and the kids in Nates place because Nate wasn't home and they needed to get to safety. He held onto Shaun while Nora had their daughter with her.

Both Nora and their daughter are stolen by Kellogg, with Nora insisting on being taken with her child rather than putting up a fight, knowing it would likely get her killed.

Nick dethaws later with Shaun and has to venture around the Commonwealth as the 'Sole' Survivor looking for his lost family while balancing looking after his son. Ofc he meets synth Nick, who is still the same as he is in-game and running on the recently post-Winter's End memories, thus he has no idea what happened in the prequel after his conciousness split from human Nick.

Nate is a ghoul, he gets to live in this AU damnit.

There Is No Sky

Something suddenly goes wrong™ with the world. It's a 'the apocalypse turned up' AU. The land goes sour, animals start to die, the air isn't good anymore, and people start turning to cannibalism to survive. It's chaos. It's fun. It's sad. A lot of people, including some companions, die or are maimed in some way. I really abuse a lot of characters in this, but I still plan to give it a 'happy' ending because by god did I want to give these characters back something after all I will put them through.

Blood and Thunder

Overboss Nora AU. Events go slightly differently when Nora goes to Nuka World and she has to take on becoming a raider boss for real this time. As she unites the raiders of the Commonwealth under her banner her former companions are stuck either trying to stop her or still facing down the Institute and their own problems.

At some point she and Maxson form an alliance between her raiders and the Brotherhood against the Institute, hence the title. The story focuses on exploring individuals limits, morality, what a person is willing to give up or do to others to protect what they hold dear, revenge and the idea redemption, etc.

Unnamed Cyberpunk-ish AU

The genre, not that show/game. This one actually mostly revolves around Danse and Hancock, and this world's version of The Railroad, which helps both synths and ghouls.

It's an AU where the bombs never dropped, the war ended, and the fallout pre-war society continued on into an even more futuristic age. However the impacts from the war still play a huge part in how that society functions, including how people went into vaults before they anticipated bombs falling and were still turned into science experiments because they had essentially signed away their rights to vault-tec, ghouls existing in modern society thanks to general radiation pollution and being shunned and hidden or even stolen away by the government, Institute and synth related things not dissimilar to in-game but in some cases more open and backed by the government, space travel (moon and mars), and more.

This is one of the ones that's still more of a collection of ideas than anything concrete yet. General jist is that there's a lot of bad shit happening that's just treated as normal, and Danse wants to go to space. If Nora does show up in this somehow she will probably play a much smaller part and won't be a main character or POV.

Other Stuff

I've got a few one-shot ideas too, but nothing worth mentioning. Honestly, it's mostly smut.

In regards to my Fallout 76 character, Jack, his story won't be done in a stright forward manner. I'm thinking something like journal entries, maybe some visual stuff if I can get the energy. I'm still figuring him out but I have some basic ideas.

As far as New Vegas and other games go, I have no real plans for anything for now. I haven't played them and am sort of holding off while I concentrate on my east coast content. I do want to see them and create some more OCs, but as you can see I have quite enough to keep me occupied for now. I'll probably play NV and create some OC's, but it would be a while before I really got into any stories for them.

#I have a lot of dumb ideas ok I dunno if I will even be able to write all of these but here they are #some of these are literally just a few dot points in a document while others have more filled in outlines #fuzzy.oc

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pitynostars · 2 years

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this is baseless speculation as ive done the bare minimum deep thinking on potd but you mentioned the master’s bitterness because of ttc when talking about the forced regen and that has me thinking a little bit like. i haven’t made real sense of what happened but maybe him becoming her stems directly from that bitterness and the knowledge that there is a piece of the doctor in every time lord. if the master is the doctor then he’s the special one, not her. in s12 he says something like ‘you went around acting like you were special and now i know you really are’ and so mayhaps the forced regen can maybe be seen as him wanting to level the playing field? take her down from the pedestal he’s put her on bc of ttc or allow him to get up there too. the doctor made the time lords but now the master is the doctor and he’s making his own bigger army of special cybermen (? is that what he was doing? i maybe didnt pay enough attention) it’s the whole ‘we’re not so different, you and i’ thing. he’s just trying to make them equals again and it’s such a big deal for him that if he has to kill her to achieve his goals then so be it. maybe. they still coulda fleshed it out a bit more (that’s an understatement)

unrelated but man it’s so frustrating to have to come up with all these what ifs for intention like if it had been written well then we’d know! it feels like an attempt at making up for how much things were spelled out in s11 like a 180° turn from infodumping to not even having the time or care to rationalize the stuff that happens. it’s hilarious that ive seen so much more speculation about the things that happened and were supposedly resolved IN the episode than about the (literal) cliffhanger. good riddance.

him becoming her stems directly from that bitterness and the knowledge that there is a piece of the doctor in every time lord. if the master is the doctor then he’s the special one, not her.

yeah thats how i'm reading it atm. there's also this deep self hatred w Dhawan master so i think part of it is supposed to be that too, especially with the emphasis of the "i erased you doctor. don't let me go back to being me" line as it's being reversed (+ dhawan emphasised this self hatred in his interviews)

"it feels like an attempt at making up for how much things were spelled out in s11 like a 180° turn from infodumping to not even having the time or care to rationalize the stuff that happens."

this has been on my mind a lot actually. i dont think it HAS been a 180 but i think its symptoms of the eps/place in the era.

we still get mountains and mountains of unnecessary exposition, but it's all about just. what's happening in the plot. we dont get much insight into whats motivating the characters (or if we do, it's heavy handed exposition like dan's "oh i almost died so i want to leave" which is simple and understandable) but say 13, the master, yaz i'm left just like.... why'd any of them do any of that??? unless you sit there compiling notes about one off lines the characters had in the past + what the cast and crew have said they were TRYING to do.

compared to s11 i think it's just become more noticable because back in the beginning they were still building the characters (lol) + there was less going on plot wise for them to react to in ways that felt in or out of character. but at this point the END of the era we should KNOW these characters well enough to understand why they're doing xyz. but say like, yaz's reason for leaving the tardis is so difficult to understand because it just sort of. happens. i think a lot of that can be built on the back of weak characterisation before, but as i've argued already in the case of yaz i feel her exit goes completely AGAINST her defining characteristics and "Doctorification" arc as i understand them.

i feel the same with 13. her defining character has always been about her being "socially awkward" and closed off, an arc which like. in any other situation the logical satisfying growth and resolution is "the doctor opens up to her friends". but no instead it's like. don't bother making an effort actually. it's fine to be an ass and just pass it off half heartedly as social awkwardness.

they all jsut feel so static and one note, but equally this characterisation is sometimes just ignored when its convenient for the plot or another piece of characterisation (e.g., i'd say one of yaz's defining characteristics in the beginning is she's quite stubborn... but not really to the doctor, because she's been so beaten down after being snapped at/told off every time she dares ask the doctor something (which then i guess is supposed to tie into her... loving the dr ???))

again like the logical conclusion to yaz's arc mirrors something like Clara or Martha's. either she needs to realise the Doctor not returning her feelings (or, if you think she DOES return them like, at least not being willing to act on them) hurts too much and leaves for her own adventures, or they have a tragic thing where yaz strives too hard to show herself like. worthy or whatever and crashes and burns. instead she just... sort of walks off? for no apparent reason??

of course, that's not to say that those arcs HAD to finish in those ways, but DO SOMETHING with them. why bring them up as character flaws/traits if they're not going to go on a journey alongside the plot and character??? everyone just feels so static. i could watch TWWFTE and TPOTD back to back and i'd be like "oh that Doctor had a short run"

off from character, but i also think the "over exposition" in s11 vs say flux and that in s11 the plots were simpler, and so the exposition was just repeating things you already knew/had seen so it was like beating a dead horse with The Point, whereas in this and flux, there's so much going on that it's like a new point every second. "paintings are stolen. the master is rasputin. oh cyberman planet. oh there's daleks in volcanoes. the master is doing something funky with regeneration and the doctor. ... wait the doctor is regenerating.... now they're dhawan?? ... wait no but it's just the master. but then why does the tardis let him in ?? so it's the doctor?? then why are they acting like that it must be they've merged. why is tegan climbing down a shaft. oh they solve it by... making all volcanoes on earth metal now??? that seems a very very bad idea. that kid from the beginning i forgot about, the master can apparently control it and kills the doctor w it." it's just wham wham wham new point about something completely different that if you're just trying to watch it you blink and miss like 3 different plot points. (or maybe thats my undiagnosed potential adhd unable to keep up lmao)

it’s hilarious that ive seen so much more speculation about the things that happened and were supposedly resolved IN the episode than about the (literal) cliffhanger.

LMAO literally i've spent (checks calendar) 3 days just trying to make sense of the plot and character choices chibnall era has been EXHAUSTING

#replies tag #long post #dw spoilers

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douglaspiggott · 2 years

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my manager kind of sort of offered/floated a new role by me this evening that sounds great and very much what I’m into but also with a lot of responsibility and I scared

I still feel like a fucking child walking into work because this is the first ‘adult’ job I’ve had - bearing in mind though I’m 28 and have been there for 9 years now so know the ins and outs of what we do better than anyone (and am constantly called upon by literally everyone else there for info, more senior than me or not) so I should not feel this way by now surely but I dooooo???? I’m just a baby!! imposter syndrome my detested

the other week my manager was like we’re gonna hire a ux/ui specialist to get this huge upgrade project done but then also that will be an ongoing role because atm we all just do our best to make decisions based on…nothing more than what we think looks good and is hopefully easy to use, which has resulted in our software being a horrible mishmash of different people’s opinions and styles over many years with barely any changes made to existing ui in prob 10 or so years, so she’s a little outdated overall. a small improvement gets developed with some new clean ui, but there’s never any time or effort put into updating existing stuff to match

but then tonight she said she’s been stewing on it and thinks I would actually be perfect to transition into that space and to hire another ba to fill my current position instead (even though I have barely done any ba work since I was promoted to that position in like fucking march last year hahahahahah)

I’m like hell yeah that does actually sound perfect for me, I was already keen for us to hire a ux/ui specialist so I could see what they do, and I really love working in that space designing how things should look and work and have a very analytical eye etc etc but now that would be me??????? I would be the specialist???? they’d pay me to do some sort of course to skill up but then I’d just be thrown in the deep-end to revamp all of our shit which would have knock on effects for hundreds of thousands of users for years to come hehehehe no pressure

I’m still spiraling a little over someone at work yesterday just very flippantly suggesting I have ocd, in a way that it was just like…a known fact about me. this is someone I’ve worked with and also been great friends with outside of work for four years now who knows me on not just the surface level most coworkers know each other, and I trust her judgement on shit so for her to say it has really sent me.

I mentioned it to someone else I work with over lunch today who’s more friend than colleague (we’ve always worked in separate departments so she doesn’t know that work-based side of how I am, more the personal/social side). she stayed very neutral on the subject, didn’t necessarily agree or disagree on the assumption, but did just encourage me to lay some things out for myself and work out whether it’s something to worry about just in terms of seeing a professional about it (and…whatever else is going on up there) or keep coasting as I am because generally speaking, I cope with what I have. if I have ocd it’s not some huge thing that’s ruining my life, and as a 28 year old I don’t have to have everything figured out. it would be crazy to suggest I COULD have everything figured out.

all of this to say, the ux/ui thing would be a super interesting path for me because of the ocd traits I have (spiralling, spiralling) and I’m really keen to try it but I’m also so so fucking scared to fail or be bad at it. half the time I feel like I’m about to be fired because????? like literally nothing just general anxiety, so for my manager to be like ‘here’s a great opportunity that I’m handing you on a silver platter because I think you’re perfect for it and it would be amazing for your career’ is very nice to hear

something about that text post that went around the other week about how weird it is being in your late 20s when you never planned for a future because you didn’t expect to make it this far. I’ve literally got no ambition or plan for my future cause I was very much under the impression I’d be done with the world by now (aaand circling back to speaking to a professional about whatever is happening in my head) I love therapised eddie so much why can’t I want that for me I don’t know if want the pressure, but fuck it’s an interesting idea for sure and dare I say I’m passionate about it????? god that feels lame as hell saying I’m passionate about ui lmaooo but I am???? I care about it and I get invested in it at work and annoyingly nitpick things other people put together and I’m obsessed with consistency now that it’s been dangled in front of me like I’m a fucking horse with a carrot I WANT TO EAT THE CARROT SO BADLY but I’m just terrified things will go to shit and I’ll ruin everything :\

#rambly self therapising and reflecting under the cut #ignore me probably #georgia speaks #anyway can we talk about how I got today’s wordle in 2 guesses

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mejomonster · 2 years

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I've tried so much for bloating does anyone have any suggestions I haven't tried yet?

I tried: gas x (usually works but hasn't for 3 weeks now), miralax (it usually works but did it 3 times and I really don't wanna again especially since i think my gi tract is moving things along already okay), peppermint tea (tons daily for 3 weeks still no improvement), ginger (helped with nausea in the past but seems to be doing nothing atm), turmeric (I could take even more I'm taking 1000 mg now but I could up that maybe? I figured if this is inflammation it may help), multivitamin with vitamin d (I heard vitamin d helps bloating), pearl prebiotic (usually helps me but not doing anything helpful lately), ibuprofen (in case it was inflammation but it didn't help), Naproxen (Highest dose possible in case it was inflammation but didn't help), electrolytes (didn't help), compression socks and My new beta blocker (helping my heart rate into normal range yay and my constipation been less bad since I started but still bloated intensely), ginger tea (no improvement), dandelion tea (no improvement), ashwaganda (in case idk it's cortisol pcos thing causing bloating cause my cortisol is above normal range but maybe I need more I don't think ashwaganada is helping atm), carbonated water (cause it sometimes helps but not lately)

I can only think I have left to try: heatpad (if it's inflammation?), cayenne in lemon water (months ago that sometimes helped with bloating pain as awful as it was to drink)

I've been bloated 8-11 lbs for 3 weeks, and I'm in a ton of pain whenever I'm bloated over 5 lbs, I vomit when I'm bloated over 10 lbs cause it hurts so bad I cant handle food, so as u can imagine I've barely eaten in 3 weeks and I took off some work days and I'm very mad and frustrated. And I'm currently on yet another day of try to not eat in the hopes if food is triggering ur pain it will stop (which will then not work cause I ALREADY cut out all the food I'm sensitive to 3 weeks ago which is usually all I have to do to debloat after a few days). Usually I bloat painfully bad for 1 day to 1 unfortunate week then I get better wirh avoiding foods im sensitive to, miralax, gas x, and maybe pearl prebiotic. Then I'm good again. But it's been 3 weeks and I'm still not good and I'm really angry and in pain tbh and I'd do anyrhing to make the pain stop. I've done everything that usually works FOR 3 weeks now. Along with extra stuff just in case something would fucking work but nothing has. I'm so tired wtf is there left to do.

And while yes I'm okay with long term solutions (which Google seems to only give), I need asap solutions I need to NOT be in pain, and be debloated enough to be able to hold down food. Gas x? Normally a great short term solution that immediately drops bloating and pain level (but is for some reason not working lately). Telling me to cut out gluten? Not helpful as that takes days to work, and I already cut out gluten for a long time (and dairy and beans and most starches and all foods I'm sensitive to).

#rant #my health issues #im in so much pain dudes im so angry #i searched the endometriosis subreddit for advide #and everyones was 1 stuff i already did like no more dairy evet and 2 surgery which i cant get Today

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thornoisdono · 2 years

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Problems with mha

I have a lot of love for mha but with it seemingly starting to clme to a rushed close which was confirmed by the author, i think now is a good time to go over my problems with it. Now I dont hate mha i Love it! But like most of what I love it has a lot of flaws most dont stop me from enjoyin it. Others can

But my main problem with the show is its beginning. It was decent but at times imo not the best of its writing by a longshot to put it kindly.

Firstly Bakugou in the beginning. I get he’s supposed to be the jerk who turns into a better person, but every other ver of this character type starts wayyyy better then him. Firstly a jerk redemption must show the character has some sort of redeeming trait. Bakugou had none in his first appearance. Him telling midoria to kill himself really made him my most hated character for the first 3 seasons. Him blowing up izukus notebook shouldve been his most cruel act. Thats jerkish but its not the worst you can do to a person and it can be easily redeemable. Telling someone to kill himself after doing that tho, was just villainous levels of acting. If bakugou had a good reason for being so sadistic towards izuku his behavior could be atleast understandable. But he really doesn’t .

I also hate the reason all might chose deku for his successor. Running into danger and making work alot more difficult for the heroes . Was a stupid decision and should not have impressed all might. An alternate way of this is having deku use his smarts to find a way to get the slug monster to release bakugou , he didnt have to beat the monster just either damage it or save bakugou. Thats way more impressive then running into danger like an idiot. We have plenty of “heroes bodies move on their own moments” to make up for the original scene to be changed. can you tell This is one of my fav manga/anime atm?

Another main issue is lack of character screentime. This is most apparent with 1b. 1b has a lot of cool characters like setsuna, kendo, monoma, rei, and the others. Theyre all so charmin and full of character. Most of em only get 3-6 minutes of screentime. They dont even do anythin major in the manga besides tetsu, kendo, and monoma who still barely do much of note. And even if they did thats 3 out of a full class to get any sort of use . This issue isnt just with 1b a lot of 1 a barely gets to do anythin. Unless ur shoto, baku, or midoryia you rarely get to do much. Sure other characters get short bursts of coolness and use but then after that theyre put into the background for far too long. Not even iida who was hyped up a good bit and had a lot of scenes and good character moments. After stain he rarely does anything besides from school stuff.

Another thing is ua is focused on way too much and way too little. If the ua stuff could focus on a rivalry between 1 a and 1b and more of the side characters. Id say it wasnt a waste of time mostly. But usually its to pad out the story . We do get some good stuff with the school saying theres nothing good bout the school scenes would be a lie. But theres too much fluff and filler to justify so much time spent on it. I mean whatre the biggest highlights of the series? Mostly when the plot is into gear like the villain encounter at ua. The attack on the student camp, all mights fight with all for one. The villain scenes. Stains mini arc. Shigaraki encounter at the mall, mirio fightin overhaul (manga version) , overhaul scenes, hawks betrayal of the villains. Dabi vs shoto. All these moments do not take part in the school and theyre praised to a T .

But what makes the fluff bearable are the characters when theyre allowrd to have screentime . I love mha and sad its comin to an end. But i cant deny its multitude of flaws .

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eddiesbug · 2 years

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a little help (r.lupin)

pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader

fandom: the marauders - masterlist here!!

summary: you just need a little help when you’re struggling. and who better to give it than your favourite person?

word count: 779

warnings: crying, allusions to bad mental health, remmy being the best bf in the whole world, sosososo much comfort

note: not only did i not proofread this and write it in a depression and sleep deprived fuelled hysteria, this is my third time trying to post this😔 buuuut i’ve gotten rid of the read more line as the fic is pretty small and hopefully this fixes the issue for now. tumblr is being soooo dumb atm

“Poppet.”

Remus’ voice penetrates the booming silence in the bathroom; you sit on the cold, tiled floor, staring vacantly forward, your gaze never wandering. You hear his voice but make no move towards him, opting to stay trapped in your head, nothing but your thoughts for company. He crouches next to you, and still you don’t look at him. Your eyes droop with exhaustion and the lanky boy notices this, lifting your lax body into his lap and leaning against the bath. Pushing your hair away from your face, he kisses your cheekbone, rubbing soothing circles across any sliver of bare skin on your body he can reach.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he murmurs, knowing he’ll hear no reply but continuing regardless; you’re listening, “I know you’re exhausted, poppet. But I need you to stay here with me, okay?” He pulls you flush to him, moulding your body with his own, “Gonna get you all ready for bed, nice and cosy. And I’ll hold you until you fall asleep, stay with you until you feel better…” He stands with you still in his arms, carrying you to his dorm; James, Sirius and Peter are already asleep, soft snores the only discernible noise in the room other than Remus’ footsteps. The bed he lowers you into is more familiar than your own; you spend more nights here than anywhere else. Remus is your safe place. The smell of him clings to the bedsheets, the scent that’s completely indescribable but so him.

He stands in front of you, his stomach level with your face where you’re perched at the edge of the bed. When he leans down, kissing the top of your head with the utmost affection, you crumble. A wet sob looses from your throat and you lean forward, wrapping your arms around his middle and crying into the soft fabric of his jumper. He immediately climbs into the bed with you, cradling you in his hold as you finally let go of everything you’ve been holding in for the past weeks. Your body shakes with the force of your sobs but his hold on you never wavers; he’s your only grip on reality right now.

“I know, poppet. I know, I’ve got you,” the lycanthrope shushes, splaying his big hands across your back and kneading your tight and sore muscles.

“S-so tired,” you hiccup, the tears never slowing their stream down your hot face.

“Shh, shh. I’m here.” Remus always knows exactly how to calm you, exactly what to say to alleviate the pain you’re feeling. But it’s never been this bad. He’s never seen you suffer so much.

“Rem-“

You cry for far longer than Remus thought possible, and by the time your sobs are no more than quiet whimpers, you’re drifting in and out of consciousness, still and docile in his arms. He doesn’t let you sleep yet though, instead opting to sit you up against the mountain of pillows. Your head bobs softly as you try your best to stay awake and focused on him, and your brows furrow quizzically when he pulls out a pack of makeup wipes and a container of your favourite moisturiser.

“I remembered you said you loved this stuff,” he chuckles, pulling out a wipe and gently pressing it to your face, “So I got some to go in here. You know, because you do it every night before bed. I wanted you to have some here so it’s like our dorm instead of mine and the boys’.”

Your lower lip trembles at the thoughtful gesture and you croak out an “I love you, Remmy,” before sitting back and letting him clear your face of makeup and spread an even layer of the cream across your skin. When he’s finished, he tugs your jeans and socks off along with your shirt, replacing it with one of his t-shirts. You smile appreciatively, a little lopsided with tiredness, and bury your nose into the fabric, inhaling the scent of him deeply.

“All done, poppet,” he whispers, climbing into the bed with you, kissing your head and letting you manoeuvre yourself until you’re comfortable.

“Thank you for takin’ care of me,” you murmur, nuzzling his chest as he pulls the blankets further over you.

“You do the same for me,” is his easy reply, “now sleep, and we can talk in the morning and sort everything out. I’ll fix as much as I can.”

“I love you.” You barely get the words out before you’re out like a light, dozing quietly against his neck, your head tucked into the curve of his shoulder. He laughs, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“I love you more, sweetheart.”

623 notes · View notes

neopuppy · 3 years

Text

Preview-

Hot Sauce (M): Deeply Dip That

Hot Sauce: Intro—>

Hot Sauce: Part 1–>

Hot Sauce: Part 2–>

Hot Sauce: Part 3–>

Hot Sauce: Part 4–>

a/n: To thank you for 2000 followers(little under 100 away atm), this happened so fast and I never expected more than a few 100 followers. I’m very appreciative for all your messages and support! I’ve decided on one last Hot Sauce installment to celebrate🥳 The fivesome that was requested more than a few times, hopefully will wrap this up nicely for you all😮‍💨(not that I do requests but..)

This will be a lengthy one shot- and filthy. Reader be mindful, always read to your level of comfort💙

please do not ask when I will post- if you would like to be tagged just lmk!☺️

There is also this.

“Why’s he always gotta be such a dick? What does he want? He won’t fuck any of the girls we bring back. Now he’s pissed we got his sister here..” Haechan scoffs. Hands busy behind the little bar set up by the pool mixing a drink. Renjun sighs, leaning in on his elbow.

“Step sister, when you just say sister it’s kind of weird. After what we all had to watch..” he rubs his sweaty nape with a smirk. Other hand snapping at Haechan for a beer.

“Don’t act like you didn’t like it. You came faster than all of us.” Haechan lets out an appeased laugh. Pouring golden bubbly liquid into a red cup. Under his breath, he whispers quietly “wonder why.”

“Fuck you dude, talk about Jeno being a dick.” Renjun snatches the cup out of Haechan’s hands, sniffing the contents cautiously. All too familiar with his stupid pranks by now.

“Renjun.. hear me out.. if he’s not gonna fuck her..” Haechan’s brows lift suggestively. Eyes darting back and forth between where you stand. Tension evident in your body language as irritation overcomes you the longer Jeno ignores your presence. “Been awhile since me and you shared right?..”

“Haechan, he almost killed us once already. You really want to risk that chance again for some pussy?” Renjun leans back, contemplation passing his eyes none the less.

“You know it wasn’t just some pussy. Love me a good freaky bitch.” Haechan’s grin grows. Sipping alcohol through a straw, having started early today. Slight buzz reaching his head already. Maybe with a clearer state of mind he wouldn’t dare test Jeno again- yea right.

“We’ve been 6 feet deep in ass since we got here. You just love to piss him off dude.” Renjun stands up from the bar stool, hands smoothing down his t-shirt. “I’m not completely opposed to the idea though..”

“You act like Jeno doesn’t deserve it. Look at him seething away over there like some big baby. He needs to learn his lesson already, just cause he’s hot and has chiseled abs doesn’t mean he should always get what he wants.” Haechan says shooting a lazy glare Jeno’s way.

“You have to stop watching those enemies to lovers movies. You’re one more hour of Jeno walking around shirtless away from proclaiming your undying love.” Renjun responds with a disgusted tone. Tossing back the rest of his drink. Combination of summer heat and alcohol causing sweat to pool in the crevices of his body.

“Whatever..” Haechan laughs to himself, finishing the rest of his drink off. With a spin, he grabs two cans of beer making his way out from behind the bar. “You in or what?”

Renjun sports a hesitant smile, eyes bouncing between you and Jeno. He should know better by now than to let Haechan talk him into these messes. Against his moral judgment, he nods, smile spreading wider into his cheeks. “If we get caught, I’m blaming it all on you.”

“We’re not gonna get caught. Jeno’s too busy pretending she doesn’t exists.” With a roll of his shoulders, and an elbow nudged into Renjun’s side they make their way over to you. “Act cool. Don’t make it obvious.”

Renjun scoffs, stepping ahead of Haechan. If anyone knew how to be inconspicuous out of the four of them, it’s him.

“Why are you standing here all alone? Are we not friends now?” He steps into your space under the roofs ledge where you’re trying to catch shade. Pulling a can of beer from Haechan’s clutches, earning a scoff. “We got that sugar free kind, girly spritzer stuff? You thirsty?”

“First off- ew, we are not friends. Second off- why would you idiots invite me to this party?” You spit out, snatching the can from his hands. Haechan’s expression turning amused over Renjun’s shoulder muttering- “Should have let me handle this one.”

“God she’s just like Jeno..” Renjun tucks his chin into his shoulder whispering to Haechan. Face turning back to you quickly with a kind smile. “Let’s be friend then? You’re here right? We all know each other well.”

“You know fucking doesn’t equate to friendship right?” Your tone laced in annoyance. Hand swatting at mosquitos circling around you. Haechan’s eyes light up, the bulb in his mind sparking to life.

“Bug spray!” He shouts out, a little too enthusiastically. “We have bug spray inside.. come on let’s get you some before you turn into a mosquito feast.”

Renjun looks at him with confusion. Haechan motioning for you both to step inside the house. Majority of the party goers outside by the pool- a pool party after all. He throws Renjun a look indicating ‘I got this’, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Jeno doesn’t spot the three of you. You make your way inside, Haechan placing a hand on your lower back.

“Still can’t believe Jeno ruined your summer plans over something so petty..” Haechan mumbles, throwing another knowing look at Renjun behind your back. You take in the gorgeous beach house, anger building up inside of you the more you think about it. Unable to stop yourself from picturing all the surfaces Jeno could have been fucking you into mindlessness on.

“He’s so immature.” You sigh, slumping against Haechan’s hand. Renjun nods in return, wrapping himself around your arm.

“You have no idea. He’s just lucky we all agreed to help him pay this off.” Renjun bites back his smile. Leading you down the hall toward their bedrooms.

“I know you guys are like besties, but Jeno’s just..” your hands shoot up, groaning in frustration. “Why would he even bother to rent this place out for us. It’s not like I wanted to go out with that Mark guy!”

“Oh I know..” Haechan pauses, turning you to face him. “He told us all about it.” He tsks, head shaking.

“He can be such an asshole right?” Renjun strokes your arm up and down, free hand brushing hair off your shoulder. You slump into his pets, soft warm hands sweeping up and down your bare skin.

“You need to get back at him, give him a taste of his own medicine.” Haechan’s tone deepens. Hands finding their way to your hips. “Let us help you.”

“Help me?” Your eyes widen, Haechan’s lust filled gaze pulling you in. This can’t happen again, or can it..

“Jeno abandoned you for weeks to come fuck around out here with us. He doesn’t deserve anything from you.” Renjun leans into your ear with a hushed tone. Fingers finding the tie on your bikini bottom, toying with the strings.

“I think it’s only the right thing to do..” Haechan slides a hand down your fluttering bare stomach. Fingers reaching for strings on the other side of you. His mouth falls open comically, pulling the tied knot free.

“Wait..” you look around the hallway with slight panic. Thighs squeezing together, clenching the fabric of your bottoms between you. “Here? Isn’t this..”

“What? You’re shy all of a sudden?” Renjun bites your earlobe, tugging free the other knot. Bikini bottoms betraying you as they fall to your feet. Eyes drifting down, toes kicking the cloth aside. Stomach heating up, fiery heat coiling around inside of you.

“I’m not.. I just.. what if he..” Swallowing, head tilting as Renjun’s tongue slides down your neck. Soft lips leaving hot pecks on your burning skin.

“What if he what?” Haechan clasps your chin, eyes blazing with intent. “Jeno deserves this..” fingers drag down your neck, between your chest. Lips pulling back, sucking air through teeth. “You deserve this.”

A whimper passes between your lips, legs trembling holding you up. Haechan’s head tilted down, hand slowly stroking between your abdomen. Eyes look up, half lidded and menacing. Fingers sliding in-between your squeezed thighs, tapping at your clit.

“Don’t you?” The questions dangerous, almost threatening. Biting down on your lip as Renjun’s teeth dig into your neck, humming in agreement. His fingers running along the dip in your back. Giving in you nod rapidly, cocky smirk on Haechan’s lips spreading.

“That’s right. Nasty little whores like you love getting fucked where anyone can watch.” Haechan’s grin grows. Fingers gliding between your folds. “As expected, dripping wet.”

“Let me” Renjun steps in front of you, lips pouted with a sheen of spit. Lust hazy filled eyes racking across your body. He swiftly falls to his knees, arms wrapping around your thighs.

“I got you” Haechan steps behind you, arms wrapping around your waist. “He loves to eat.”

Renjun’s face dips down, nose shoving between your shaking thighs. One of Haechan’s hands squeezes your hip, landing a smack loud enough to echo against the walls.

“Stop acting shy, that pussy’s hotter than my ps4” lips drag across your nape. Teeth skimming down skin, tongue lapping at your shoulder. Hips jolting forward Renjun’s nose pressing against the hood of your clit.

Sandwiched between their bodies has your temperature rising quickly. Haechan pressing flat against your backside. Licking the top of your back, tongue languidly dragging up and down your spine. Renjun pulls your thigh forward onto his shoulder, you tense up reluctant to relax your body weight against him.

Haechan slaps your hip again, firm hand landing on your ass after. “Stop acting innocent, where’s that whore that begged for cock in front of all of us huh?” He hisses against your ear, hips thrusting forward against your lower half with emphasis.

Pathetic whimpers fall from your lips, body slumping as you release control, giving in. Renjun’s eyes shine bright below you, cheeks bunched up with eagerness. His jaw stretching open, mouth enveloping your mound. Hot tongue forcing between your wet folds. Loud sounds of wetness burning at the tips of your ears.

“That’s more like it, dirty slut” Haechan lets out a laugh, teeth digging into the crevice of your neck. “You gonna let me fuck this ass?” Fingers reach between you, tips circling around your clenching up hole. Gasping in surprise, instinctively rolling forward against Renjun’s mouth.

“Fuck..” your eyes squeeze shut, biting down a moan. Tongue finding it’s way to your entrance, moans shivering up your core.

“Ride his tongue baby, he loves that shit” Haechan slaps your ass again. Finger prodding at your backside. Mouth marking up your neck with endless licks, sucking and biting over every expanse of flesh. Haechan thrusts forward, Renjun’s tongue gliding inside with a firm wiggle. He doesn’t stop thrusting, finger running up and down between your cheeks. Face growing hotter as you speed up, neck dropping back against Haechan’s shoulder.

“Feel good? Come on, tell him how it feels.” He hisses meanly into the back of your ear, teeth nibbling.

“Yes! Oh fuck, yes yes” eyes dropping open, the ceiling spinning above succumbing to the pleasure. Renjun knows what he’s doing, hands squeezing around your thighs. Tongue relentlessly working away inside of you. The combination from Haechan’s torment and Renjun’s stimulation too much. Haechans fingers not giving your ass a break, hole fluttering against him with each pass.

“Dirty slut..” he mutters, reaching around you. Hand sliding down your stomach. Your eyes follow the motions, head dropping forward. Eyes locked on Renjun’s squinted crazed look. Practically fucking down on his mouth. His head moving up and down with each thrust of his tongue inside.

“I’m..o-oh..oh fuck…stop stop!” You squeal out. Still too aware of your surroundings trying to control your vocals. Haechan smirks behind you, hand swiping down. Thumb teasing at your clit.

“Gonna cum?” He presses down on your clit harshly. Roughly circling it, working you from both ends. Your head shakes, waist curling forward in his hold.

“No! I’m… I’m gonna..oh f-fuckk” your face contorting tightly. You grind down on Renjun’s tongue, legs shaking around him. Body jumping forward, squirting out past his tongue. He groans beneath you, eyes falling shut in ecstasy. Continuing to work away, licking all over your drenched folds. Heavy sounds of slurping mixing in with your panted drawn out moans.

Foot steps sound around as they reach closer, stepping into the hallway. Bottoms of feet pattering down on the wooden floor approaching. Moans and a tongue swirling in your ear much louder. Distracting you from hearing any warning. A displeased huff of shock paired with a deep voice breaking your thoughts— “Are you two fucking serious right now?”

ps- they are so going to get caught🤓

pps- 💙love you all💙

313 notes · View notes

binniesthighs · 3 years

Text

multifandom soulmate aus ✨

soulmate (n): a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

✨ a/n: hello hello!! today on, “Ro’s self indulgent fics” ehehe i’ve been thinking a lot about some of my favorite kpop besties and how i feel like sometimes in a group, there’s the members who just stick like glue and it’s kinda like they were destined to meet that way! anyway hehe this concept is so fkn cute to me so i wanted to make some poly r-ship headcannons with some of my favorites!

➛ disclaimer: the pairings that i use are def not all inclusive of all “soulmate” pairings out there, just the ones i know of atm! also, i know some of these groups better than others, so some will be more specific, and others a little more general!

✨ groups included: stray kids, ateez, the boyz, monsta x, seventeen, txt, bts

✨ feedback is always appreciated! who’s your favorite?✨

➛maybe if we’re feelin’ spicy i can do a part 2 with the ones i haven’t done yet ;)

Pairing: idol x female reader x idol (see fandoms above!)

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: established r/ship au, poly r-ship, sexual content (the usual stuff also including unprotected sex-please stay safe!) comfort ahhh, mentions of food alcohol

*all photocreds go to ops :)

both sfw and nsfw under the snip snip!

♡ chanlix ♡

sfw

omg where the hell do i start with chanlix we love our cannon soulmates

arguably the softest fkn pairing on this list; being soulmates with chanlix is like meeting your other halves (thirds?). there’s some serious destiny at work here!!

the three of you understand each other on a spiritual level--almost to the point where you could likely read their minds if you wanted to try haha. there’s also a really, really strong type of emotional intimacy that you share with them that’s out of this world.

this soulmate bond is so fkn strong, the three of you could go through any hardships and come out of it stronger than ever!

the three of you have cute lil nicknames for eachother that you thought up yourselves!

your families are close as heck! it’s really pure how by the three of you so many people can get close ahhh

i think that chanlix would be really into more outdoorsy dates? camping, swimming, hiking, sightseeing, stargazing, picnics etc! felix also loves taking you on food tours!

bc chan is chan, he really takes on such a protective role over you and felix, he would quite literally do anything for you two: forgot your notebook or documents on the way to work/school? he’ll drop everything to bring them to you. sad? he’ll get you your favorite food, tons of blankets, his hoodie to wear and your favorite movie/tv show to watch with you! if anyone hurts your feelings too he will square tf up.

felix is the world’s most adoring boyfriend in so, so many ways. not only is he such a cuddle bug, he shows you that he cares with tons of acts of service similar to chan! this comes in the form of his baking of course and other silly little gifts he sees that reminds you of him. he isn’t the best at words sometimes, but will soothe you by giving you a little massage or by playing with your hair!

nsfw

okay...😏 damn i’ve been wanting to write some poly chanlix so fkn bad ahhhh

once again i really see chan taking the lead in more intimate situations. he really likes giving directions and seeing both you and felix carry them out! honestly he gets a bit of an ego boost seeing the both of you all whiny and fucked out ahhh

here i come with my softsub!felix agenda oops hehe but this boy is frickin’ angelic for you and chan oml, he always asks for permission before he does things and eats praise up with a fkn spoon. praises alone really get him off: “does lixie like it when i play with his cute cock like this?”

there’s something that gets the three of you ridiculously amped when you do all kinds of roleplay scenarios FRICK some favorites are pet play (you and lix being the kitties) teacher/student, roleplaying strangers, sex slaves, artist/muse, oh my god there was a halloween where you once did vampire roleplay you still think about it 🤤

since the three of you are so comfortable with eachother, experimentation feels really safe! for example, the suggestion of shibari came up and now....let’s just say lix looks really pretty tied up ;)

chan’s got a huuuuge (cock) and size kink!! he really likes topping both you and lix and seeing a bulge omg.... also when he can bulge your throats mmmhm!

felix loves it especially when you ride his face, and he cold do it for hours! he looks so cute between your legs when he licks over and over your clit. he’ll ask you too if he’s doing good and you better say yes ;)

favorite position would be all cuddled up and cozy with the two of them double penetrating you real nice and slow with tons of kisses and just touchin’ all over

cockwarming cockwarming all day, every single time, without fail, it feels wrong if you finish without it!

♡ woosan ♡

sfw

idk why but the first thing that comes to my mind is that in certain settings, ya’ll are loud as fuck AHA i guess what i mean to say as that as a trio, you are all super, super unapologetic and confident when around each other! this might have lead to you getting kicked out of a couple bowling alleys and karaoke places before...

there’s a type of unspoken understanding that the three of you have that makes your bond so special. while you love eachother so dearly, it isn’t something that you really feel needs to be said out loud, it kind of just is!

woosan are already really clingy on their own and when you come along?? you all can’t keep your hands off each other!! ya know how in movies there’s the whole “hand in the back pocket of your jeans???” woosan!!

their energy together is so fkn chaotic but that's why you love them! they never fail to make you laugh and this is also the best way that they know how to cheer you up!

Bc the three of you are a bit unbridled, it’s a bit hard to be serious at times when you go on dates/hang out with friends together so often you get some affectionate eye rolls haha

wooyoung is someone that will try anything with you! hehe even if he knows that he mind not be that into it, he’ll still go with you! of course, he might say something snarky but he really does love just spending time with you! wooyoung also shares you with all his friends (changbin, yeonjun) so lowkey it feels like you’re one of the bros at times LOL

san is a big fan of giving you gifts! oh also! words of affirmation too, san is someone who knows your insecurities well, so hypes you tf up all the time!! he especially loves buying things for you that he knows you’ll look pretty in just so he can compliment you ahhh

at the end of the day however, there’s nothing more more that the three of you love than the tightest cuddles ever as you fall asleep! honestly, sometimes its a little too tight haha

nsfw

THESE BOYS FKN RAVISH YOU LIKE YOU’RE A FIVE COURSE MEAL

and of course they expect the same from you as well! i mean....can you blame them??? these boys are sexy as hell and they frickin’ know it!!

i have this super clear image of both of them stripping you down and rubbing massage oil all over your body and then giving you the turn to do it to them my lord...

sort of along this line, temperature play makes these boys feral. wax, ice, blowies with popsicles you name it

both of them really just like being touched all over because they have the prettiest dancer’s bodies and just feeling hands on their muscles makes them loose it.

wooyoung loves to mark the hell out the both of you in a really territorial way: all over your chests and necks even on your thighssss

san, while he often does find himself in sub space, really easily can switch to dom you in the most beautiful way. everything with him is really intimate and raw: if this wasn’t already obvious haha he would like have a hand kink and loves seeing the way that his fingers look pumping in and out of your entrance and how your juices look as well.

back too wooyoung, he’s the king of oral. whether it’s going down on you and sucking at your clit or deep throating with master level skill...foreplay is never boring with him!

in my brain, i can see the both of them filling nearly position so this makes for an interesting dynamic to say the least AHA

every once and a while, they’ll let you take complete control of the both of them while they just sit back and watch you with the most smug-ass grins that you’ll see in your life!

AH another thought: woosan fkn love when you squirt on them, in any way this might look: when you’re nearly screaming in your overstimulation they want it all over them.

favorite position would be 69 threesome style with all of your sloppy moans in-between <3

♡ moonbae ♡

sfw

HEAR ME OUT the king of soulmates that know that they are soulmates but don’t take it seriously in the slightest istg this is my most favorite dynamic ahhhh

there is not one dull day with these two boys, they’ll have you laughing in stiches until you can barely breathe like, the best kind of wheezy, silent laughter ya know what i’m talking about

INSIDE JOKES literally so many inside jokes with the three of you

Kevin is never scared to call your ass out, but that’s bc he knows you so well!! it’s all just jokes don’t ya worry ;)

Along this line, your groupchat like has some random-ass name that’s also an inside joke

Jacob on the other hand is the biggest sweetheart when it comes to you, boy frickin’ melts. There is not a day that goes by when he hasn’t told you he loves ya morning and night.

Also the best listener in the whole world, you can tell him anything and everything and he’s just sit and listen and give advice.

Kevin loves you a ton a ton but just shows it differently! He remembers all the little things about you that you tell him to the point it’s scary how he does it so well

Meme king Kevin would send you memes that remind him of you and Jacob

Lowkey i can see the both of them getting into the cutest petty arguments like which one of them you love more or think is more talented AHA again it’s all in good fun hehe

it goes without saying but...it’s cuddle central up in here.

THEY WOULD SERENADE TF OUT OF YOU oh my god it’s literally heavenly, Kevin would play piano and Jacob would play guitar FRICK

You have oddly specific dates?? Like they would pick a movie to go see that the three of you would all hate just to meme the whole time. Jacob would still get invested accidentally tho.

The way to both of these boy’s hearts is their stomachs so when you cook for them they would quite literally do anything for you

nsfw

ok ok so i’m a baby deobi so this is the gist of what i’m getting (i also did a little research LOL thank you @ deobi smutblr hehe)

firstly i would like to say that i’m manifesting thigh riding with Jacob and i literally can’t think of anything else for some reason just p h e w and BOY does he love it too he thinks its so fkn cute to watch you!

i get heavy, heavy switch vibes from Kevin with maybe some sub leanings??? either way, jacob def has soft dom vibes (oh god and occasional soft sub) to me but also has no problem with you taking control and doing what you like to him if that’s what you desire!

kevin is impatient impatient and does not do well with your teasing. also...loud as hell, like, sometimes you have to tell him that he needs to calm tf down hehe (but of course you love it when he gets like that)

separately, both of them are very different experiences i think: kevin is a fan of hard and fast, kitchen counter over the sofa type stuff sloppy toppy in risky places, and he loves to experiment too!

jacob is also really different where he likes much, much more slow and intimate stuff like missionary, shower sex, real atmospheric stuff like candles and nice scents ahhh BIG fan of really fluffy pet names too like baby, princess, angel etc. super visual too omggg gets hard when you strip for him i think ;)

together it’s a fkn whirlwind i’ll tell ya that. its like, honestly the most unique experience i can think of on this list because the two of them are so different. i will say that it can end up being really giggly and sweet tho!

when it’s the three of you, kevin’s dom side comes out a little more so you’re left with these two lovely boys who want to give you all the attention! it’s lowkey a competition lol

favorite position is when you’re sucking jacob off and kevin gets to do literally whatever the hell he wants with your pussy...i imagine that it might have to do a lot with edging if you ask me ;)

♡ jookyun ♡

sfw

oddly, i find myself soft af for jookyun and idk how to describe it haha (considering that they can often be hard as hellll)

the three of you are also really nonchalant, but this is really in the way that you just feel as if you’ve known eachother for a really long time!

as we know, jookyun were a bit of an enimies to lovers arc (AHA) so with the time that they’ve spent building their bond, it’s strong asf!

i like to think that jooheon and changkyun would really get a ton of artistic inspiration from you for their music. since both of them write and often reflect bc of this, you’re totally their muse! (they’ll write some nasty as hell lyrics thanks to you too LOL)

while our lovely thicc mx boys have unbridled confidence at times, really, they are babie. and they are frickin weak for your pampering.

because of this, the two of them would become flustered as all hell when you do lil things for them!! this could be making them some lunch or just giving them the off compliment that they look a lil extra handsome that day.

your safe place is with them!! ahhh i would also like to add the number of slick ass grabs when you’re in public is a bit off the chain at times ahah

the duality of this r/ship is really something to note LOL when you go out and about when the two of them you certainly get some stares bc they look a lil intimidating at times but when you and your boyfriends cuddle up on the subway you give all passerby's whiplash haahah

Kyun is someone who is insanely romantic. almost to the point that it is cheesy haha he’d treat the both of you to expensive ass dinners, beach vacations and maybe even matching couple’s jewelry like rings or bracelets!

jooheon on the other hand is a little more toned down haha but has another side to him that fkn swells with pride knowing how breathtaking you both are...frankly, his ego skyrockets knowing that he’s got you both for arm candy if this make sense teehee

the three of you call eachother “babe” interchangeably, so it can get a bit confusing when you’re all in the same place and someone says “hey babe?” you need a new nickname ooP

nsfw

hello and here i am to push the sub!changkyun agenda. first and foremost i would like to explain how this man is such a pillow princess with the most lovely bratty edge *sighs* all that kyun wants is for you to fkn use him and do literally whatever the hell you want!! this man daydreams about you riding him right then and there wherever the hell he is.

also, kyun is the king of toys, both using them on you and on himself! need i also say breath play as well in the same giving and receiving form? more than anything he loves it when jooheon wraps his hand around his neck hooooly ahhh he prefers it when you tease his tip with a vibrator until he’s angrily red and begging for you to give him a break just for you to bend down and give a kiss to his pearly head which makes him jolt

jooheon is often more of a soft to hard dom if you ask me and takes care of both you and kyun really well. also... he will manhandle the hell out of you if you feel up for it (cough cough your arm kink for him ) oh shit and his thighs....don't’ even get me started

while the three of you often opt for the hard and fast (even in some more risque places--such as in the recoding studio) there are really some more intimate times that you share too!

on one of changkyun’s vacations, in the middle of the night, when no one was in sight and the hot tub was free for use...it started out as a bit of making out but then turned into something else when you decided to straddle jooheon and he let his hands creep under the straps of your swimsuit...needless to say you were bouncing on both of their dicks while you were warmed by the crackling bubbles

at times, jookyun can get a little needy and impatient without you, so this has lead to a couple situations where you walk in on them letting out their frustrations ;) of course, immediately then they’d love for you to join!

kyun has an oral fixation too, sooo he may or may not love cockwarming with his mouth or sucking your fingers lightly when you go to suck his dick~

♡ junhao ♡

sfw

here me out with this one...but...there’s something really intimate about this relationship?? oh how to put this into words LOL junhao also have an insanely deep bond that really transcends if ya ask me haha

while they both can be really goofy around eachother when comfortable the soulmate vibes are just...immaculate! this is all i can say? all three of you are just so connected in the way that you accept each other for all that you are and just kind of naturally gravitate towards each other even before you really knew that there were romantic feelings involved!

first, i would like to say that out of all the pairings on this list, you three are classy as FUCK. seeing the three of you next to eachother is like seeing literally three models in the flesh. the way that you dress (sometimes even to match a little) is unbelievable bc you all just look so good?

hand holdingggg wherever you go! holding hands across cafe tables, playing with each other’s hands absentmindedly hehe

TRAVEL BUDDIES you would go anywhere with them and take tons of pics!! i mean the prettiest pics

hao shows his love for you in the form of so many things, all of which he makes himself!! you inspire his physical art and drawings which he shares with you and he also loves to take clothes too and personalize them for you!

jun on the other hand would take you to the studioooo and you could watch him danceee oh my gosh he’s literally so breathtaking and he would be dancing just for you with every curve of his body he’s so magical :’) then he’d ask you for feedback and you’d just be speachless...also loves to make you smile!! just being his goofy self he’s the best at it and thinks you’re so cute!

there’s a ton of adoration in this relationship! tons of cute little displays of skinship that might look like a poke in the cheek or the fluffing of their hair ahh

still, i feel like you would have kind of silly little nicknames for them that match their personalities and perhaps...you could have matching phone cases with these nicknames....

in this relationship there’s a ton of quiet moments that are really peaceful and indulgent such as watching sunsets, drinking wine together, just talking about life n stuff like that!

nsfw

hellz yeah we’re in for some more intimate-ass fuckin! but also....😏

this boys are kinky as shit but in like a really classy ass way lolll this is so hard to put into words.

well, i’ll start with junhui catboy agenda so there’s that hehehe he would most def be into pet play: that could be like ears or pretty collars and of course calling you (or him) kitten.

minghao is really versatile and doesn’t really like labels of dom and sub, he just does what he wants and what feels good to him! bc we’re talking about how intimate everything is, the kind of sex that you share with them is often never rushed but really purposeful and even planned sometimes!

i also see there being TONS of sensory items that would come into play with junhao such as flowers, fragrances, aphrodisiacs, all kinds of fabrics for sensory deprovision such as velvet, silk, hemp rope, and so much more!

BOTH OF THEM WOULD SOUND ANGELLIC i see hao as letting out really pretty soft moans that kind of trail on his tongue and jun sort of choking out gasps with a bit of a rasp to them when they cum or they feel turned on

oh god MIRROR SEX that's what i have to say about this

it doesn’t happen often, but sometimes when any one of you would be feeling needy or pent up they can certainly do hard and fast with you between the two of them. especially when this happens, oh my god hao loves it when you moan really breathily into his mouth when you’re pressed against him ooooh shit

and jun loves it when you bite into his shoulder too when he fucks you it just makes him feral

actually, i could really see the three of you recording yourselves, or even taking pictures when you have more intimate moments to look at later, just for your own enjoyment or to get off when you’re without the others

favorite position: hmmm mirror sex with you on top of minghao literally just kissing him and marking his body as jun eats you out until you’re dripping down to minghao’s cock which he jerks off too~

♡ yeonbin ♡

sfw

DON’T TOUCH ME IM SOFT

admittedly i don’t know too much about this pairing but i do know a lil so i wanted to add them!! i also did a lil research hehe

FIRST i would like to say that the three of you would without a doubt have the cutest puppy together, if not one, then two!! they would be little dogs with perfect haircuts and likely have their own instagram account which the three of you would run! they’d be instragram famous of course

LITERALLY EVERY DAY ITS A FIGHT OVER WHOS CUTEST i kid you not this is an ongoing battle you’re all just...so weak for the other ahaha

being in a relationship with them is like being in a relationship with your bestfriends!

dates with the two of them can really range all over the place bc you just like having fun together! movie dates, breakfast dates, ZOO OR AQUARIUM DATES, taking little trips to places you haven’t been before or stay at home dates like having a little indoor picnic!

soobin is really low energy, and would often opt to hang out with you at home or at a cafe while the two of you do your thing together! he lovessss when you bake or cook for him, literally whatever it is he’ll eat it!

his smile is instant serotonin and the reason why you fell in love with him! the two of them together all smiley is your lockscreen!

yeonjunie prefers going out with you clothes shopping and would DEF enable you to dye your hair a color that you’ve always been dying to do! he also loves showing you new music and blushes like heck when you tell him that you like the songs that he picks!

in their own playful ways too, they’d always call you out on your bs LOLL but they just wanna motivate you! they’re your biggest cheerleaders!

Deep down though, both of them are quite cheesy and would love to shower you with alll the stereotypical romance that you can take even if it makes all three of you cringe ahahah

nsfw

NEEEEDY and literally so mf horny on the dl like it’s comical to how soft and shy they can be in real life situations

oh my god this is a godly thought but i see both of them being both switchy as heck but not really bc they like how it feels to be in those different postions but literally....bc no matter what it is they are getting off lolll

i see both of them having sub leanings but can get real bratty if they’re feeling it.

yeonjun does have a dom side to him that just comes with his general confidence that he gets around you! when either of you beg from him he’s ready to let himself loose.

im so sorry but they literally handed pet play to me on a silver platter with cat & dog and there is no going back for me. SO you’re in for puppy, kitty and bunny play (shhhh yeonjun’s got his fox ears too)

WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT HOW ALL OF YOU WOULD LIKE THIGH HIGHS

both of them love being edged to high hell by you...no matter if it hurts...they kinda like it?

at the same time, both of your boyfriends also love giving you all the attention at times too! i’m talking about one of them playing with your breasts while the other trails kisses down your body all the way down to your pussy aching for attention too

FUCK this might be just me but soobin eating you out>>>> a GODLY sight.

i have this other fantasy of yeonjun with either lip piercings or nipple piercings or even a dick piercing someone plz tell me to calm down

oh please...bubble bath with the two of them holy shit baby pink bubbles all around you while you take turns givin’ each other cute kisses ahhhh

one more thing to the pile here would be hella mutual masturbation soo much of it. the three of you get off just simply watching eachother too and dirty talking how much you love the way the others look with hands rubbing themselves away with cute whiny moans~

♡ taekook ♡

sfw

omg! this is my first time remotely talking about bts on my blog hehe this is so exciting!! i don’t really read too much bts ff so this is going off of my own perception!

i just wanna say....there’s so much to unpack here LOL but like many of the soulmates on this list, these boys are ~whipped~ for you and eachother!! its so stinkin’ cute

another thing about these expensive boyfriends is that they loooove to sing for you too! they’d sing you to sleep, when you’re sick, sad, or just had a hard day allllways hehe

the three of you have sickeningly adorable nicknames for eachother, the kind that honestly make heads turn LOL

jk would without a doubt get tattoos with you!! and wine drunk lollll he’s also a huge enabler so if there’s anything that you’re considering buying or doing he’d hype you up so bad you barely have to think twice heheh

kinda like junhao they’d also make amazing travel buddies but less for the aesthetic, but for the luxury. you’d stay at amazing hotels and eat at Michelin star restaurants wearing luxury brands that they bought for you

i feel like this goes without saying, buuuut in this r/ship, its alll about the adoring glances from afar or even just right next to you bc they love you so much!!

i also get a very protective vibe from them as well, you’re very special to them, and they never wanna see you in harms way or disrespected by anyone! this could even look like having their arm around you on the bus or on the small of your back in a crowd

together, they’re the biggest jokesters and flirty as HELL they think that it’s so funny when they flirt out in public AGRESSIVELY just to make you a lil embarrassed hehe

forehead kissessss and kisses on the back of your hand!

nsfw

luxurious in this area tooooo

they would rent out the penthouse or presidential suite to make an evening for you and pull out all the stops: expensive champagne, lingerie selected just for you, a breathtaking view of the city ahhhh

ya all know how much i love my soft and intimateeee body touching and there would be plenty of this! they take their time undressing you and eachother and would plant kisses into the nape of your neck and shoulders as you do so!

i would like to contribute to this conversation sub!jk bc this is something that ahhhhh i really like to think about as well as soft dom tae bcccc why not heheh

these boys are utterly gorgeous under soft lighting and prowling all over your body too tho ahhh

BUT! imagine teasing the hell out of jk, barely letting him feel your mouth besides fleeting kisses while tae drives his hips into you from behindddd

in fact, these boys actually don’t mind a little voyeurism with the wide windows in your suite, opting to leave them open so there's a bit of thrill in the way that they fuck you too~

tae has a bit of...dare i sayyyy a power kink, so when you call him names such as sir, daddy, master etc oh boy

jk himself is bit into sensory dep specifically with blindfolds especially when its your hands travelling all around his body making him shiver.

both of them just looove cuming all over you as well: face, ass, thighs, belly, literally anywhere, they just think that you look amazing like that!

there are a couple times here and there when the three of you also do a bit of cam work together for other people to watch--although it isn’t often, you rake it in when you do so. the three of you are a perfect fantasy!

sex also can happen in odd places with you three too since you can just start feeling it and don’t really care ;) strangest place....hmm i’d say when you joined the mile high club with them~

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

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junkworldusa · 3 years

Text

belated book asks, thank you for indulging me!

1- What book are you currently reading? bros karamazov, 2/3s through atm.

i hate that i’m thinking about pathologic (video game) the entire time but i can't help it. the way characters are constantly bursting into people's houses & going "you’re an angel, you're the best person i've ever met, you're a saint" to someone they just met 5 minutes ago is so. distinct. i joked on twitter that the first half of the book is just alyosha running around completing sidequests, which i still think is true, but once i got to the grand inquisitor part i was like "Okay mr dostoevsky, you’ve got me."

2- What book did you recently finish? "selections from science & sanity" by alfred korzybski, recently featured in the gumby quotes. a while back i listened to a 6 hour long interview with robert anton wilson where he talks about korzybski & general semantics so i gave it a shot. it's an abridged version of a 900 page book & i definitely plan on reading the full work at some point, it's wild. if you’re interested in language, consciousness, the gap between words & meaning, and/or hacking your brain i would recommend it. he repeats himself a lot but that's a side effect of his pedagogy, the goal of which is the eventual re-wiring of your entire nervous system in order to achieve a more rational worldview/healthier reactions to things. (so repetition via words/sounds/actions is necessary 2 engage the organism-as-a-whole.) the most important takeaway for me is that everything & everyone you interact with is a completely unique object, and this necessarily extends to temporality-- Bob in 1999 is NOT the same person as Bob in 2010, and treating them as though they were is a harmful mistake. interestingly enough, im taking a class with J.F. martel (weird studies podcast, author of "reclaiming art in the age of artifice") & last night he said what amounts to exactly the same thing, except he was arguing for like, a soft animism (i-thou vs. i- it) & korzybski was arguing for a more "rational" & secular world. so fascinating.

3- What’s a book that’s been on your to-read list for a long time? ulysses. i know. i know. i have a copy but keep bouncing off of it. idk why, i liked portrait of the artist as a young man. i think i’m worried i’ll turn into this person:

4- What’s the next book you’re hoping to read? i just got "speech play: research & resources for the study of linguistic creativity" in the mail so probably that. i'm on a childlore kick rn & this is like... horizontally related 5- Is there a book you own, but aren’t planning on reading?

around 2 years ago i was walking home after a show high on E & i ran into a guy i had met at work a couple times. went over to his apartment because MDMA is like, "everything is SO meaningful and SO much fun." i barely remember our conversation but he ended up being like "you would like this book, here take it, i have 3 copies." so i now own a copy of "the eater of darkness" by robert m coates. i still haven't read it. the moral of this story is [???]

6- What was your favorite series as a kid? Would you still read it now? so many of you asked this question :P

THE TRUTH: i was obsessed with lotr from age 8 to 13 with a level of dedication that i've never known since. yes, i would still read it now. i reread the silmarillion last year & it was naturally a way more rewarding experience than when i was a kid! 8- Fantasy or sci-fi? i like & have read a lot of older sf/f (le guin asimov pkd etc etc) but im not actively into either nowadays. i read whatever reaches me from the queer sf/f twitter pipeline (like whatever's on wizards vs lesbians) but otherwise dont pay much attention. so the answer is "idk!!!”

12- Have you ever read a celebrity memoir? If so, whose was it? the only memoir i've read in recent years has been "memories, dreams, reflections" so if jung counts as a celebrity, there you go 14- Fiction or non-fiction? non-fiction in both quantity of books owned & what i prefer reading. i almost view them as 2 separate activities bc the motivation for & experience of reading them are so wildly different 15- Favorite fiction genre? i know i said im not "actively into" sci fi but 16- Favorite non-fiction genre? "philosophy" i guess. i also really love any phenomenological/experience-based studies of paranormal stuff, like "the terror that comes in the night" by david hufford or anything by jacques vallée. basically books that both a) take strange experiences seriously & b) examine/catalogue them scientifically (to whatever degree).

22- How do you organize your books? “poorly” 26- What’s your favorite book? fav non-fiction book: “time loops” by eric wargo. what if freud's career-making "irma dream" was a premonitory dream about the oral cancer that would severely impede his quality of life in his old age? (fantastic blog entry by the author, serves as a kind of intro to this topic: http://thenightshirt.com/?p=4326 )

when i read “time loops” it felt like everything i had ever read (& will ever read future tense) was for the sole purpose of understanding it. “time loops” picks up where J.W. dunne's 1927 "an experiment with time" left off. i won't say too much more about it but everyone should read it. it's so smart & engaging & will totally blow your miiiind, maaaan speaking of "an experiment with time," in 1964 a guy named vladimir nabokov began an experiment of his own following the directions dunne laid out in his book. dunne encouraged readers to write down their dreams in order to test the theory that a later event could generate an earlier dream.

nabokov’s experiment with dreams & time strongly influenced “ada or ardor: a family chronicle” which happens to be my favorite novel. i first read it when i was 18, and i've reread it 3 times since then (with the help of ada online, my beloved http://www.ada.auckland.ac.nz/ ) i would not recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t already like nabokov & know what he’s about. it’s fucked up & self indulgent & i love it so much

30- What character do you connect with the most? when jung said he was bad at math? i felt that

#asks

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wizkiddx · 3 years

Text

worst case scenario part 5

finally!! so sorry its been an age to anyone still here but lives been interesting atm so.... also this really feels a bit rambley and the ending is deff underdeveloped but I just kind of wanted this done tbh x

[previous part] [part 1]

warnings: hospitals - ICU, ventilation that sort of stuff, just a lot of ANGST post a difficult birth - please don't read if this could be upsetting for you, and my inbox is always open if u wanna chat :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a complete 360 degree flip from earlier that day, after leaving the hospital Tom had become obsessively attached to Aurora. They’d got back to his parents place in Tom’s car; Aurora in the carseat Y/n and Tom had ready in their car door for her arrival. Clearly his parents had already pre-warned his brothers, who had thankfully already gone over to Tom and Y/n’s - collecting the Moses basket amongst other items Harry had been listed off from his mother.

Apart from explaining a little behind her name to his parents on the journey back, Tom had spoken very little, choosing to keep himself to himself - physically stationing himself beside the Moses basket the whole time. Of course, there had been a bit of light conversation and almost procedural passing round of Aurora between all her uncles and grandparents, which Tom had kept a wether eye on - but ultimately not engaged.

He also knew that physically his body was failing him. Although eating a little of the lasagne Sam had made for everyone, he could only stomach a minuscule amount, which did little to boost his energy levels. It felt as though sleeping was the enemy, because he was neither ready to leap into the car if the phone went; or to hear the smallest sound from the wicker basket, suggesting something was wrong. So as much as he tried to fight it, before even nine o’clock he began to dose off on the familiar couch of his parents sitting room - occasionally jerking himself awake before loosing the fight once again.

Nikki had tried to gently push him to take a break in the spare bedroom, which had been Tom’s before he’d moved out, but was unsuccessful - every time he retaliated with a stern shake of his head, while checking his phone just in case he’d missed a notification. Eventually Nikki relented, later in the evening both her and Dom retiring to bed; once Sam had agreed to stick around downstairs till a bit later - as a chef he worked till late in the nights, so even on his days off like today, his sleep schedule was just a little fucked.

Left alone with his new little niece and now pretty firmly asleep brother, Sam draped a blanket over the latter just in time for Aurora to start fussing in the need of a bottle. His mum had explained how to do everything, how to mix the formula and heat it up, so after scooping up the little wriggling girl in the hope his brother wouldn’t get disturbed, Sam dealt with her. To be honest no matter how clueless and useless he felt, Aurora was just so cute - if a little wrinkly and alien looking, but in a good way. This was the first baby any of them had had, so the first time Sam experienced this instant connection and love for the little being that was his niece or nephew. It was terrifying, lifting the bottle against her lips for the first time, but then it just sort of seemed to work. She was incredibly smart for less than 24 hours old, instantly latching on, like she had done for Haz at the hospital.

That gave Sam a little confidence in his ability as an uncle, giving himself a satisfied nod while swaying from the kitchen to move back into the living room. It was just a preference to be within reach of Tom… just in case. His poor brother still hadn’t moved, slumped against the corner of the sofa, leaning toward the now empty Moses basket. Normally, Sam seeing his supposed heart throb of a brother looking as rough as he did now - double chin, mouth hanging slightly open, deep sunken eyes - he would’ve taken a photo to blackmail him with. Now though, it was just desperately sad, seeing his brother like this, hand still clutching his phone tightly above the blanket.

Rather hoping the calm would last for a while, Sam successfully finished off feeding Aurora; winded and then put her down to sleep again just in time. Because, perhaps expectedly, Tom’s phone began to blare off the default iPhone ringtone making Tom jump and throw the device across the room as he awoke with a start. Sam ran to grab it off the floor, mainly with the hope of turning it off before Aurora was awoken too - knowing that it was best tonight to tackle one thing at a time.

And so he immediately swiped to answer the call, not even registering who the call was from, much rather just wanting the noise to stop.

“Hello?”

“Sam? It’s Harrison” Tom had jumped up from his seat hovering beside Sam with petrified look. It took barely seconds for Tom to snatch the phone back, launching questions down the receiver.

“Slow down would you? Y/n is fine I was just phoning to check in.”

“Oh er yeh… um sorry I just… just thought…”

“It’s the other way mate. Nurse says she’s starting to get there cos first she moved her arm a bit when we pinched her shoulder and then I just called because she started to like gag and now the ventilator thing is gone.”

“W-what?”

“I think she’s breathing by herself? Like she’s got an oxygen mask instead of the tubes down her throat.” Clearly Harrison was not, by any means, a medical expert.

“They said she would have the ventilator for a few days at least.”

“I guess Y/n got bored? To be fair she couldn’t ever sit still.”

“I’m coming to you.”

“Tom it’s nearly midnight, I was supposed to be kicked out at 10. Just come back in the morning, they won’t let you in I’m pretty certain.”

“What if she wakes up!”

“Then they’ll call you! She’s getting better Tom you should be try and relax for like a second.”

“FUCK OFF HAZ! If she wakes up all alone and terrified then-“

“I’m not going to having a screaming match on the phone with you. I think we both know you wanting to come is more for you than for Y/n, because Y/n would want you to be looking after Aurora.”

Again guilt tripping using the newborn. Harsh but effective. Stopping Tom’s anger dead in it’s tracks.

“Look I can put the nurse on for her to tell you they won’t let you in and they’ll call if anything happens - but you already know that.”

“Yeh sorry fine … I know don’t bother.”

“Okay… I’m was gonna head back to my place and I know you’ve probably got your mum begging to fuss over Aurora but if-“

“Can you come?”

“Didn’t need to ask mate.”

And that’s how the night went. Until Harrison arrived at the Holland family home, Tom had spent the time pacing back and forth, blatantly ignoring the pleas of Sam just to sit down. Once he arrived though, going through all the updates in a lot more detail Tom seemed, for the first time, optimistic. By no means could you call him relaxed or happy - but compared to the rollercoaster that had been the last 24 hours, Harrison thought that was more than enough. Aurora had started fussing again at 1 but by the time it had turned into a full blown scream at Tom, Sam already had the bottle ready. It took a little bit of encouragement and promise that Tom would be able to feed her but actually, she instantly latched on, settled in her Dad’s hold while guzzling down the contents of the bottle.

After a bit of winding she ended up falling asleep on her dads chest, only when he felt himself start to flag did Tom place her back in the basket. Harrison and him ended up crashing on the sofas, Sam retiring to his own room. Phone still tightly clutched in Tom’s grip.

////////////////////

The first thing Y/n became properly aware of was this intense heaviness all over her body. It felt as though her limbs were all composed completely of lead, meaning as much as she was just craving rolling over, it was as though her own body was holding her down. A very alien feeling that unsettled her slightly, trying to shake of the misty feeling in her head to work it all out. It took a while to drag herself out of the depths of sleep, to the point where background noise slowly faded in - an alien beeping as well as distant shuffling making her heart thump with unease. Finally, perhaps most distressingly , her eyes felt glued shut. Not because they were heavy, in the way someone extremely sleep deprived cant keep their eyes open; rather stiff like they hadn’t been used in so long they’d rusted over or something.

The feeling was quite horrific and isolating- as though she were locked into her body without an escape in sight. Whilst trying to calm her racing thoughts, Y/n chose to focus completely on the one thing she could do. She could listen. She listened to the beeps, focusing on the type of sound, the way it chimed so regularly; and it’s form. It was familiar, for that she was sure but for now at least she couldn’t place it.

It felt like an investigation, trying with all her might to try and workout what the fuck was going on. To put it mildly.

The most useful clue though, a breakthrough if you will, is when a voice sounded - clear and familiar.

“Excuse me nurse?” It was Nikki. For sure. It was a clue, but didnt seem to make a hell of a lot of sense. Y/n was so focused on why the hell Nikki was apparently watching her sleep unconscious, she completely missed the reference to the nurse. As in hospital. As in Y/n was in hospital. “… I’m just going to swap out for my sons friend.”

“Harrison?” That voice seemed new and unfamiliar.

“Yes, he won’t be a second I’m sure.”

What was Harrison doing here too?

It was all very confusing and hurt Y/n’s brain to try and unpick. Gradually then, everything sort of melted away, diving back into the darkness.

The next time Y/n woke up things were different. This time she woke up like she would at any time of day. She woke up and her eyes followed suit. Not particularly easily, since as soon as they cracked open she was almost blinded by brilliant white lights, it taking a build up of willpower before she tried it again - bracing for the pain.

By now she knew something was wrong. She remembered all these patchy and hazy periods. All full of confusion and disorientation but with different voices keeping her at least semi calm. Familiar voices, all too often laced with such emotion. Especially Tom’s. She couldn’t remember what he had said, nor had she probably been able to understand it at the time - what stuck was the tone. The sadness, the hopelessness , the emptiness.

It was scary. But it made her want to help. Made her want to open her eyes.

After wincing at the dazzling white surroundings, Y/n blinked her eyes quickly, in an attempt to get them to adjust quicker. She saw an unfamiliar ceiling, one that was tiled in a similar way to her old school canteen. There was a weird pressure round her mouth, eyes quickly darting down to see edges of a clear mask pressed up against the bridge of her nose. That wasn’t it though, the further she looked the more her eyes panned down this pale blue blanket, following the outline of her legs to the bottom raised edge of the bed. The hospital bed.

Her hospital bed.

As much as she wanted to jump up in panic; physically right now that was an impossibility. So instead, Y/n focused on trying to gleam as much information from the situation. It took a hell of a lot of effort, her muscles literally stiff and ridgid with disuse but with a small groan her neck eventually agreed to follow orders. Just a small tilt to the left and suddenly Y/n felt so much more less panicked. Everything was that bit less scary because there was Tom.

Admittedly he didn’t look amazing, or even not bad. Tom was sat with his back pressed against the side of chair, so his body faced her. Had he not looked so ruined, Y/n would’ve laughed at the side of his face squashed into the back of the seat. But he did look horrific, for lack of a better word. His brown eyes were locked shut, but also looked puffy and red, while dark at the same time - as though he’d been attempting to gouge his own eyes out prior. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, hence why he had appeared to have collapsed in the arm chair. At least though , he wasn’t in a hospital bed himself.

That was Y/n’s pleasure.

Her next job was to get her neck muscles to pull her head to the other side. It was a slow wincing gesture, yet she was so aware of another presence that needed to be addressed too. But actually it was 3 people.

Right at the back, a nurse sat on a little spinny chair, scribbling something down in a file of papers but to be quite honest that wasn’t were Y/n’s focus zeroed in on. Instead on Harrison who was sat in chair mirroring Tom, except instead of being passed out asleep he was cradling a baby. Her baby.

Y/n literally felt her heart in her throat at that point, eye widening almost comically. That was her baby - it must be? The monitors all started to loose their regularity as Y/n threw an uncoordinated limb to that side of the bed- already having realised her throat was way too scratchy to try to say anything comprehensible.

Immediately that got the attention of both the nurse, who immediately leapt up and called for support, as well as Harrison - who looked like he was seeing a ghost.

“Oh my-Y/n-?” Luckily he kept the baby safe in his arms rather than dropping her in shock, whilst Y/n kept her eyes locked onto the bundle in his arms. Nodding down, she tried to remove the mask (actually just very slightly knocking it to one side) and attempted to ask of the baby. Her throat, being inhumanly dry and scratchy, didn’t really work but Haz still got the message, scoffing in amazement.

“Aurora… here’s your mummy.” Harrisons voice was quiet and wavering as he delicately held Aurora against Y/n’s collar bone, the babies little tuft of har tickingling her chin. Now Y/n was crying with happiness, looking up at Haz’s icy blue eyes and questioning her name. Harrison confirmed with another disbelieving whisper, whilst the arm that wasn’t still holding Aurora clasped Y/n’s hand with a death grip. “Tom’s choice.”

The mention of him had both of them shift their gaze across the room to Tom’s chair. Even with all the developments, Tom still seemed completely unaware, fast asleep with the side of his face squished against the back of the chair making his lips slightly askew. Y/n were acutely aware of the small congregation of doctors that had accumulated in the corner of the bay but they seemed to be respectfully waiting before they would prod and poke. Haz went to call Tom’s name, before he could though, Y/n squeezed his arm and minutely shook her head. That wasn’t what the blue eyes boy had been expecting, causing Haz to unfold and bring Aurora back up to his chest as he quirked his eyebrows at her.

She didnt need to be filled in on the situation to know exactly what was happening. She had no idea why she was in the hospital bed; how long it had been since she’d given birth - but she knew all she needed to. From Harrisons unbelievably shocked face; and from the state of Tom - it hadn’t been good. Her fiancé looked almost ghostly, it seemed evident that he needed her. First then, she gestured to Haz for some water, which after a panicked look to the nurse; then from the nurse to various doctors; she was eventually given permission.

After somewhat alleviating the sandpaper feeling in her throat, Y/n then croakily asked for a bit of privacy. Right now the doctors all were gawking, Harrison assumed it to be because they’d all led him and Tom to believe she wouldn’t wake up for a while- and even then she was supposed to barely be awake, not able to talk and drink or anything of the sort. With an ecstatic nod Harrison, shuffled out - while doing so prompting the medical people to draw the curtains completely shut round the bay.

Already Y/n had tears welling up in her eyes, purely because she hated seeing him like this. He just looked so broken and shattered which honestly felt worlds worse than the labour she’d gone through. Her whole body still hurt, stiff and achy for reasons yet to be explained to Y/n. None of that mattered though, as she strained her arm out to the side in order to gently reach his knee that was folded up and sticking out awkwardly at an angle. After swallowing one again, Y/n squeezed round the joint and tried to shake it slightly. Instantly the man jumped up in his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly and repeatedly as he tried to adjust to the room.

Being so sleep deprived and stressed out, Tom’s brain was not working normally, instead with a delayed haze as he apparently skipped over Y/n in the bed, rather surveying the the closed curtains and Harrison’s now empty chair. As he was lifting himself to sit more normally up, uncurling from the armchair, was when he noticed the hand on his knee. Breath caught in his chest, Tom instinctively bit his lip as his eyes gradually traced up the hand, to the forearm, up to the shoulder. It felt like a fever dream, as though all it would take is for him to move and she’d slip away again. But there were her green eyes, gleaming in a way that literally lifted a weight from his shoulders. Her smile was tired and a little confused, but so her - after spending days of just seeing all her features lax, Tom swore that it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Only when Y/n finally croaked out a small ‘hi’ did Tom gain awareness of his body, or rather control of it, enough to leap up and leave over the bed - cradling her face in both his palms. Like a psycho he stared intently, swapping his focus from her left to her right eye like a madman.

“Your-I-I” He was trying to speak, trying to communicate all the thoughts and regrets of things he wished he’d said to her all at once. Weakly she reached up to fully remove the oxygen mask, dragging It down to below her chin, before squeezing his wrists in comfort. Only then did Tom notice the small puddle that had collected on her cheek, which made him realise he was absolutely bawling.

“You ‘kay?” Her voice was like sandpaper but everything about her was so completely Y/n and it was just giving Tom this unreal wave of euphoria. Physically incapable of replying, the brunette just scoffed, leaning over the bed even more so he could press his forehead on hers. He was laughing too, the fact she was asking him that seemed so preposterous, given all the tubes and wires attached to her at the moment. It took Y/n squeezing his wrist harder again to make him lean back a little, searching her eyes with his. She seemed so worried; seemed so full of concern - only then did Tom consider quite how much he’d ‘let himself go’ the past couple of days.

It had been two days since Aurora was born, only 48 hours. But the transformation was mad, none more so than mentally. 48 hours had quite literally changed everything for Tom; changed life forever and himself too. It was showing in his unshaven face, with unwashed greasy hair, everything just looking ‘tired’.

“‘m just really glad your awake.” It was so honest and sincere it did have Y/n wondering what had happened and for how long. What had she put her fiancé through?

“How long?”

“The worst two and a half days of my life… I got you now though, yeh?” Tom whispered wetly, while stroking the side of her cheek - wiping both his and her tears away.

“Always.”

The doctors and nurses then came in, podding and poking Y/n like no tomorrow while Harrison and Tom stood back a little - excitedly grinning at each other and the sleepy girl Haz was cradling, before Tom stole her off him. There was a momentary sick-to-his-stomach feeling after some of the professionals had cleared, seeing her eyes shut again felt like everything was crashing around him. Thankfully though, one of doctors noticed the look of despair on his face, explaining to the two men that she was just asleep normally. That although sh’ed spent along time unconscious, waking from a medical coma is in itself exhausting.

After the initial excitement of Y/n waking the next couple of days were pretty samey. She’d been moved down to a normal ward, no longer needed all the incessant bleeping machines but still had to stay in hospital. Tom found it tricky too, he just always felt he needed to be by her side ‘just in case’. In fact, it had been a source of a bit of tension between him and his fiancé - she could see how exhausted he was from looking after Aurora, plus the stress of being in the hospital for hours a day with her. As Y/n got better and more switched on to the state of him, she realised it was inevitable he’d crash at some point.

But after a week and a half in hospital - comprising of a baby, emergency surgery, 3 days on intensive care, followed by 8 on the ward - Y/n was discharged. Nikki and Dom moved in to Y/n and Tom’s place, to provide care support both for Aurora; and Y/n for the rest of her recovery; and secretly Tom for everything he’d been through.

She was still order on bed rest due to her surgical scars, so Tom and Nikki helped to set her up in the master bedroom as soon as they got in. Of course, everyone was aware of Toms odd mood that day. Until then the only thing he wanted was to get his fiancé back at home with him but now she was over the threshold his excitement and joy appeared to have been zapped out of him. In fact, he’d barely uttered more than a couple sentences. So once Y/n was properly comfortable and Dom had brought Aurora and the cot into the room, Tom’s parents quickly made themselves scarce.

Tom hadn’t stopped, finding some reason to rummage around in the chest of drawers m while Y/n chewed at her bottom lip, watching him.

“Tom?” All she got in response was a light hum. “Tom please will you come and sit down for a minute?”

“I just need to-“

“Tom!” Her exclamation finally properly got Tom to listen, jumping round to face her. “Please... please will you just stop for a second?” Y/n’s eyes felt as though they were boring holes in his skull. Really, Tom knew he’d be forced into this at some point because he couldn’t avoid Y/n. She had some power of mind reading over him. So with a defeated nod and sagging shoulders Tom rounded the bed, weaving between his side and Auroras cot - where she was sleeping soundly.

A silence overcame the room as he heavily planted himself on his side of the bed, mirroring Y/n’s posture leant against the headboard.

“I think we need to have an honest conversation T.”

“If you want.” Nothing about his reply was the picture of enthusiasm, causing Y/n to hesitate a little.

“Look I am so beyond grateful for everything you’ve done while I was in hospital... and it doesn’t take a genius to tell you’ve worked yourself half to death-“

“I’m fine-“

“Don’t lie to me. I know you’re trying to protect me but please... will you just talk to me? Honestly?”

His reply this time wasn’t completely unforeseeable but it still shocked Y/n quite how quickly it happened, especially almost unprovoked. Because that’s all it took for Tom to break, for the past 2 weeks to get their vengance, for all the repressed emotion to escape.

He was crying- well more accurately sobbing- into his hands, his back quaking. Naturally Y/n reached out to pull him into her side, suppressing the groan of pain as she moved a little too much for her abdomen to handle. “I’m here T. I got you and I’m not going anywhere m‘kay?”

And that’s how they stayed, for at least 10 minutes, with Tom crying into her shoulder as Y/n rubbed up and down his back. Eventually though, everything did calm down and Tom repositioned himself to lean his head on her shoulder just facing forward and focusing on playing with her fingers, lacing them fingers with his.

In all the time since she’d woken up, Y/n was yet to broach the subject of their babies name yet. She sensed it was a sensitive topic to say the least, so had thought it best to wait till they were properly alone - not in a ward of 6 strangers where the only privacy came in flimsy blue curtains.

“So…. Aurora huh? Thought it was too airy-fairy, head-in-the-clouds for you?” Smiling lightly, both of them were transported back to the pregnancy when they spent hours and hours bickering over names. Aurora had always been Y/n’s favourite but to Tom thought it was more a name for a hippy kid who went around clad in tie dye and bandanas.

“Still is a bit...but I needed a bit of a miracle and Iceland was in my head. Plus I sort of accidentally word vomited while shouting at Haz, for being nice to me.” Iceland as in when Tom had proposed under the aurora borealis in the freezing sky - when Y/n had agreed, promised even, to be with him forever.

“But you like it?”

“Of course... mother always knows best after all.”

“I think it suits her too. One of your best choices to date, listening to me.” Y/n mused, earning herself a very delicate but still playful elbow in the side before the room drifted back to a much more comfortable silence.

“We’re gonna get through this you know? Me, you and her, we’re together in this... I’m sorry I wasn’t in the beginning and I’m sorry I hurt you but now? I promise you got me and I’m not going anywhere…” Y/n needed to say it and needed Tom to properly listen. “ ...literally, I still cant walk properly.” Tom chuckled wetly at that, which made Y/n feel a lot better too.

To be completely honest, Tom was still hurt and he knew it’d take some mending to move past everything. By no means did he blame Y/n in anyway but just the fact he was left alone and abandoned - well, it was the worst time in his life. The way Y/n understood that and had apologised to him - if completely unnecessarily- meant everything. Meant she would help him to heal... whilst he helped her too.

“Can we just go to sleep? I need to wake up beside you in our bed not at tiny hospital one.” It was only 3 in the afternoon but because of Y/n’s medicine she was constantly drowsy and Tom? Tom was still in this permanent state of exhaustion. So it wasn’t so much of a weird request as it was on the face of it. With a nod, Y/n shuffled down on the bed a bit more resting her head against the top of Tom’s. It was exactly what they both needed, just a bit of peace with each other.

That lasted all of 5 minutes before Aurora woke and started to scream.

Life had most definitely changed. Especially for Tom. Because even though he was he was mentally and physically exhausted, he only appreciated his daughters screams whole heartedly... because Y/n was there groaning with a tired smile too. They were in this together.

~~~~

I really hope the ending didnt disappoint too much, im aware its rushed as hell, but thank you for getting this far! And I hope maybe this series has done a teeny tiny bit to normalise not everything in pregnancy and child birth being perfect - that there is morbidity and mortality associated. Obviously this is all fictional (esp the amazingly quick recovery and lack of neurological/other impairments) and not medically accurate in the slightest !!

my inbox is always open :) t x

Tagging : @whitewolf51

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #dad!tom #Tom Holland angst

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dangoarts · 2 years

Text

pinned post for organizational purposes

ugh looks like i'm actually using this account ok cool

hello, am arya/mochi (she/they)

am Adult(tm) (not willingly)

i draw (lots) and write (sometimes)

am violently aroace (sex repulsed)

going to college for game design, gonna become the true epic gamer

socially awkward, may or may not respond if you message me sorri :') (depends on the thing sent and if i panic)

interacts primarily with reblogs, too dumb to like stuff like a normal person /j

only gonna have this one blog, no side accounts because i will forget about their existence, so Everything Will Be On Here

tags and comfort under cut

me things

if you're interested in my all my art stuff, check out #art stuff

if you wanna see just the doodles, check out #dumb doodles

if you wanna see the stuff i tried on, check out #actual good art

if you wanna see me lose my mind, check out #just a ramble

if you wanna see me attempt to be coherent with people, check out #answered rambles

if you wanna see other people's cool stuff, #i will think about this later -> additionally: #art tutorial

if you wanna see my writing, check out #writing stuff

this is my one brain cell described in a video

go check out my fren @currently-simping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they are rad and is the reason behind half of my ideas

fandom things

will switch between the mountain of fixations i have on a dime (ill)

things i posted a lot in are #deltarune, #batim/#batdr, #pokemon, and #mario tags

i posted a bit in the #cuphead, #a hat in time, #fnaf (security breach exclusive), #kirby, #pizza tower, #lethal company and #minecraft tags

#tron and #epic mickey live in my head rent free and have been since like 2010 (ill)

making #victory au for deltarune (on permanent hiatus because motivation!!!!!!!!!!! bad)

making #blotted au and #golden fins for batim (let's see how far my motivation lets me go) -> blotted au masterpost -> golden fins introductory post

made goofy ahh oc that i love dearly, check out #venposting -> his toyhouse page

since i KEEP LOSING IT, lethal company creature hcs

comfort things

i am ok with most things! am very chill and i do not care as long as it's not drama

fanart/fanworks of my characters/interpretations are one of the best things to ever happen honestly and you'll become my most favorite person if that happens, EXCEPT if it's 18+ (see sex repulsed above)

as with every other artist ever please don't repost my art and claim it as your own or use it for whatever ass backwards thing blockchains are fabricating nowadays, ik it's a cry on deaf ears for people who don't care about the ramifications of taking someone's work they put hours of their life into and yeah i'm aware of the risk i'm taking by sharing art on the internet, but this is something that i made with my own hands so i'd appreciate at least the bare bones amount of credit

i'm dogshit at replying unless it's about something specific, so a lot of messages that just say "hello" or smth one worded end up getting ignored. if it's a question like "omg did you see this thing" or prompts like "hey i also like this" end up getting responses. there's also a good chance i read the message and either forget about its existence or panic and never respond anyway

only two things that make me disintegrate into atoms is nsfw/18+ content and needles. eye contact is uncomfy but not really phobia-levels. i'm semi-ok with horror stuff, but it's a limit i'm still testing out. and ya i ship characters but i really only stick to platonic and romantic fluff stuff and i'm not gonna engage in any ship discourse if u don't like it just block it's not that hard

things i did

sketch requests, is closed atm

thas about it

#ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#long post

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jui-imouto-chan · 3 years

Text

Ouran High School Host Club AU (Inspired by this post)

Yes, I used everybody they offered as the characters (and more!), it’s just a really big club.

(It will 200% get bigger if I keep writing this, don’t test me)

Ship Tags: MiyaHina, AtsuHina, OsaHina, OiHina, KurooHina, BokuHina, AkaaHina, TsukiHina, UshiHina, AoHina, HyakuHina, NishiHina/NoyaHina, Hinata Harem aka Hinata/Everyone.

Loosely follows plot, but a few things have been changed to match Haikyuu more, such as:

•Hinata isn’t an honor-student, he’s on an athletics scholarship (and while there are plenty of decent athletes there, they’re all rich enough to not need a scholarship)

•Hinata wears blue-light glasses often. He has good vision but having the glasses framing his vision helps him focus in class instead of getting (as) distracted.

•Yachi and Hinata switch off on some Haruhi stuff but Yachi isn’t the one the guys are all simping for.

•Yachi is an actual honor student but she’s not on the kinda full-ride scholarship Hinata is on. She’s like, partially rich, but not enough for Ouran (so she gets bullied or at least teased.)

•Hinata and Yachi got to be really good friends at orientation since she can sympathize with him better than all the actual rich people, and she helps him with his studies so he doesn’t completely flunk his classes.

•The Twins, like Hikaru and Kaoru, have the same color hair (brunette) atm

•Hinata’s mom is a drag king to parallel Haruhi’s dad’s sitch

•Oikawa doesn’t let Iwaizumi into the club because he kills his eccentricity and egotism. None of the others can vibe check him the way Iwa-Chan does so that’s why he seems even more unbearable and thus more Tamaki-like.

••

Hinata tried to figure out where Yachi disappeared to, peering down halls and into classrooms through small openings of the doors. “Yachi-saaaan...”

He barely registered the vague scent of roses and sweets saturating the air as he pushed the door softly.

The wood swung open as though pulled, Hinata stumbling through with a shout. A breeze and rose petals drifted by his face as he opened his eyes, head whipping up to view the silhouettes of the boys not too far from the door.

“Welcome to the Harukou Host Club!”

“Th-The... --What’s a host club?”

Hinata watched as all of the boys’ faces fell into befuddlement.

“W-What a funny joke,” a brunet, sat upon a throne-like chair, commented, his fingers interlocked beneath his chin. “Isn’t that cute? Trying to win our hearts with humor.”

“But--”

“So, what kind of guys do you like? We’ve got plenty of types to spare, and I don’t think any of them have any problem attending to a male--ah, sorry, what’re your pronouns? That was rude of me to assume.”

Hinata’s instinctive, “He/him,” came out before he could attach his protests at the services offered, his stress elevating as the brunet hopped out of his chair and sauntered over to him, hands extended in shows of eccentricity.

“We haven’t gotten a boy, yet, huh, ‘Tsumu?” one of the guys still in the group commented, his arm draped over the shoulder of his exact copy (sans the parting of the brown locks).

“No, but that’s because the only boys we’re involved with are each other,” the copy, ‘Tsumu(?), said, grabbing the other’s chin to hold his gaze. They stared into each other’s eyes for a second before their faces got a little green, the two of them separating to mime vomiting whilst laughing.

Hinata had to tune back into the brunet approaching him, who seemed to be going off on a tirade about beauty and elegance. He tuned back out almost immediately, finding even schoolwork to be more interesting.

“’Tsumu and ‘Samu are awful at the twincest-schtick, don’tcha think?”

“Right? I thought so, too. We’d be ten bajillion times better at it if we were identical twins!”

The ravenette rolled his eyes, although he drew in the other smugly. “Identical or not, the reason we work is because I’m a good actor.” Then, placatingly, he amended, “And you’re not hard to tease and smother with affection.”

His silver companion’s eyes lit up. “Man, you’re so cool, Kuroo.”

“Make sure to call me Tetsu when there are girls here.”

“Oooh do I get a nickname? Like, Kouta instead of Koutaro?”

Kuroo grinned, “Don’t give me an offer like that. I’ll call you Honey or Beloved, and while we’re raking in the cash, Akaashi’ll sell a bunch of merchandise with it.”

Another ravenette, probably Akaashi, nodded calmly as he penciled into his notebook. Beside him, a tall blonde smirked, his glasses flashing menacingly as he tapped away into a calculator. Kuroo and the silveret both paled and protested at him, which he seemed to ignore.

Speaking of ignoring things...

“You’ve been talking a long time, haven’t you?”

The brunet, knelt on the floor near a table, glanced over at him like he forgot who he was talking at. “Is that praise of my oratory skills? I’ve always been told that people get lost in my speeches, and it’s no surprise that you’ve gotten so enthralled with one!”

Seems like I wasn’t the only one who got lost, Hinata thought, noting the despondent, glazed eyes of some of the occupants. A short guy with a patch of blonde hair jumped up into a handstand on the shoulders of one of the taller guys in the back with white hair, and it was made evident that, no, some of them just always appeared completely detached from reality.

“So, anyway, what kind of guy is your type, Mr. Athlete? Maybe you like the cool type? The boy lolita?”

“—I AM NOT THAT SHORT—”

“You are quite that short,” the brunette continued, “Or maybe you like the strong silent type? —We have three of those. We also have twins—identical and fraternal— if you’re into the taboo kinda stuff. We don’t kinkshame here.”

“Maybe we should,” muttered the blonde guy with the calculator. His mouth was covered by a silver-haired guy with black ends, whose face betrayed no emotion even as the blonde fought against his palm irately.

“I’m not into this kind of thing,” Hinata said quickly, “Besides, doesn’t it cost money? I don’t think I’d be able to afford something like this, anyway.”

“Speaking of not being able to afford things... Shouldn’t we check up on her?” Probably-Akaashi motioned to a corner of the room with a piano and a familiar blonde girl hiding beneath its bench, sobbing meekly into her knees.

“Yachi-san!”

Hinata raced over to her, her head whipping up at his call. Her teary eyes let loose some sparkling droplets as she leapt at him, although the rope binding her ankles to the bench prevented her from fully reaching him. He thankfully was close enough that he saved her from a tumble to the floor.

“Hinataaaa,” she whined into his shoulder, “I’m going to have to sell my organs!!!”

“What!?”

“She came into our clubroom earlier and broke the vase we were supposed to sell at an auction,” explained one of the twins.

“It was worth eight million yen, and she told us she doesn’t have enough money but that she’ll sell her organs in order to pay us back, which is impressive in the dedication but very concerning.”

“We had Wakatoshi-kun put her on the bench to calm down, but she tied herself to it because she thought she would be our prisoner as a punishment.”

Yachi clearly tuned them out, too busy crying and hiding in Hinata’s arms. The redhead patted her on the head, wondering how things could get this weird in less than twenty minutes of her being out of his sight.

“Yachi-san.”

No response. Her blubbers were even less coherent now.

“Yachi-san!” He shook her by the shoulders until she blinked up at him. “I’ll help you, okay? Just promise me you’ll be more careful. And help me with my homework again!”

“Hinata...”

He grinned at her and patted her head. When he turned back to the group of boys, he could see they parted somewhat to allow the brunet to be visible whilst lounging on his throne that was turned to face them.

“I’ll be taking on Yachi-san’s debt,” he declared. The brunet rested his cheek on his fist and peered down his nose at him, smirk drawing his lips.

‘Kuroo’ spoke up, “Hoh? All eight million? Are you sure you can make it up, Chibi-chan?”

“You couldn’t even afford a school uniform; how do you plan to pay us back?” said the blonde guy, eyeing his white-and-pink tracksuit with no lack of judgment.

“I’ll...” Hinata glanced back at Yachi, her eyes glistening, and steeled his resolve, “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Then, Chibi-chan, from here on,” the brunet guy’s voice, initially dropped, lilted upward as his amusement mounted, "You’ll be our bitch.”

“What.”

•

Hinata frowned at the smudges all over his lenses, ignoring the twins (both sets) measured him for his uniform.

He almost didn’t notice when Kuroo bent down to meet his eye-level and gently grasped the frames of his blue-light glasses. “Alright, Chibi-chan, we’ll be taking these. Though it doesn’t even seem like you need them, huh, since these lenses don’t really have any magnification?”

“Well, no, but since we have a lot of work on laptops here I thought they’d be better to have.”

Kuroo hummed and slipped them off his ears and nose, and all of the twins gawked at him as he blinked up at them.

“What?”

Osamu kicked Atsumu’s calf, and the Miyas dragged Bokuto away with them.

“Nothing,” said Kuroo, “Maybe they just forgot you’d have a face behind these.”

“Oh, I’ve done that before! Like when people are sick for a long time and they wear a mask, I kinda forget they have mouths!”

“Yeah, just like that.”

•

“What kind of coffee is this?” The brunet, now known to be Oikawa Tooru, asked, beckoning Hinata over with the most obnoxious “come-hither” motion to ever exist.

“Instant. I don’t really understand coffee, but this is what my mom buys. It’s just cheap enough that I still have money for lunch.”

Oikawa sputtered at Hinata’s lackluster funding for his nutrition, although his mind finished processing what was said about the coffee itself before he could really express any amount of disbelief at the former.

“What do you mean ‘instant’? Are the beans already ground or something?”

Hinata blinked. “Coffee’s made of beans?”

Oikawa sighed heavily and drew up to his full height, holding the coffee container skyward as a few girls approached for their hosting appointment.

“Alright, you know what? I’m up for a challenge! I’m going to try some commoner’s coffee!”

The girls in the clubroom gave shrieks of surprise, Oikawa’s announcement drawing the attention of the entire room. Hinata longingly and despondently stared outside at the people running around the track and beginning practices for their various sports, allowing himself to be dragged away by the club president.

“Darn rich people,” he mumbled.

•

Oikawa was very clingy, Hinata found. Every spare second he had at the club was spent with the other nearby, coddling him and encouraging him to learn up close. It was so draining that the Miya Twins and the Fraternals dragging him into their games was infinitely more appealing, but that could also be his bias for Bokuto coming into play.

Kuroo was cool, too, yes, and the Miya Twins gave him food, but Bokuto’s energy was so perfectly aligned with his that Kuroo whined about his brother being snatched away on multiple occasions.

This time, with Oikawa monologuing as dramatically as ever, Hinata had no sets of twins to free him from the absolutely boring speech. He spaced out so hard, he didn’t notice Oikawa coming closer and hugging him to his chest excitedly.

He shouted, the fright sending tears into his eyes, and he reached desperately at the tall trio nearby. “Help!”

All three of them instinctively drew closer, but it was the white-haired eyebrowless one who pulled him out of Oikawa’s grasp by the armpits, Hinata’s legs dangling in the air while the brunette sat stupefied.

“A-Aone-kun, you didn’t have to go so far...” Oikawa tried.

Hinata smiled at Aone in thanks and patted his head gently to express further gratitude. Whence he was placed down, Aone bowed to him, and he bowed back.

•

Nishinoya was a very fun person to be around, although their interactions were sparse. He shone under the attention from the girls, and if Hinata didn’t know the girls were paying for his time, he’d have assumed the reverse was true. But it made sense, you know, since Noya-san was just such a cool dude.

The girls cooed at him and giggled at his jokes, and his dorky personality coupled with his small-but-wild looks made him a charmer. He also offered Hinata cake on a frequent basis, and often accosted the others to make sure they ate up--especially Tsukishima, who seemed prickly enough that Hinata didn’t want to get near him with a ten foot pole.

Unfortunately, Tsukishima was also the one mostly in charge of handling his debt, so he could not actually be avoided. Hinata was assured by Akaashi that he’d remove any undue charges Tsukishima would add to the debt, although Hinata would’ve preferred he hadn’t said anything about those undue charges and just did the removals with Hinata none-the-wiser, as then he wouldn’t be paranoid about the things Tsukishima would charge him for.

•

Hinata hadn’t meant to attract the attention of one of Oikawa’s most attached clients. She gave off a weird vibe and when he mentioned her to Yachi, the blonde girl went a little paler than usual (which, while a frequent occurrence, didn’t fail to raise alarm bells in the redhead’s mind).

“She’s territorial,” Yachi managed, eventually, and Hinata had to go through all of the lessons the girl kindly drilled into his head in order to remember what that word meant.

“Oh. So why would she be interested in a guy at a host club? Isn’t he, like, one step from prostitution?” Yachi choked at that, shaking her head to fight down any amusement.

“I don’t think she thinks those other girls are a threat.”

Hinata hummed, “Well, she keeps glaring at me, so maybe she’s just a little dumb and confused.”

Yachi pursed her lips, barely able to keep her laughter contained.

•

Hinata wondered why Yachi’s schoolbag was tossed into the pond. Alongside it sat his, and as he began running through the halls to go attend to the issue, he spotted that client.

Hinata quite pointedly ignored her, continuing down the halls and stairs. He felt a small flame of rage light up in his chest at seeing Yachi’s notebooks scattered across the surface of the water, covers just buoyant enough that the papers were only starting to soak in water, and he prioritized getting her items out and organized before he could even ponder grabbing his own.

He’d been in the pond for twenty minutes, thankfully having managed to salvage most of her things, before a voice broke through the quiet of the grounds. “What are you doing?”

Hinata didn’t need to glance over his shoulder to know it was Oikawa, his voice light and airy, with a hint of playful exasperation.

“I can’t find my wallet.”

“You’ll get sick with your clothes all wet. Can’t you just let it be?”

Oikawa didn’t seem to understand the necessity of what he’d likely consider pocket change. “I need the money for food. I’m not going to get paid for a couple days and I don’t want to starve in the meantime.”

There was a lengthy period of silence. He wondered if Oikawa left, trying desperately to make out the shape of his coin pouch amidst the colorful pebbles lining the bottom of the pond. He nearly growled in frustration as a series of ripples tore through surface, though as he heard the telltale sound of someone wading through water, he spotted the brunette with his pants rolled up and bare feet gingerly resting on the stone.

“What are you doing?” Hinata quarried, eyebrows drawn up in confusion.

Oikawa’s face was concentrated yet somewhat peaceful as he copied Hinata’s searching motions, fingers gliding across the smooth pebbles. A few strands of hair caught the water and were left with shimmering drips that occasionally fell back into the pond.

“I’m helping.”

He never turned to look away from the bottom, focused mostly on the task at hand. Even his distant, deeper, and yet airier voice conveyed how little attention he was giving his words, and Hinata could only wonder if this was the most genuine he’d ever heard the other in their past week of interactions.

“Why?”

“Well, why not? I mean, everyone tells me I’m dripping with good looks,” he chuckled, the breathy quality sending something through Hinata that made him duck his head down and resume seeking his funds.

The two sought it out for over ten minutes before getting any results. The small coin purse, shaped like a small black crow, sat cradled in Oikawa’s palm. He proffered the item to Hinata with a wink, the redhead unclasping it and sighing in relief at the dryness of its interior.

“Thanks, Grand King.”

As Hinata beamed up at the other, the reflected light from the water seemed to hit Oikawa’s eyes harder, as though a flare traveled across the distance between the earth and the sun solely for this moment. He held up a peace sign and smiled back at the other, wondering if such luminance could ever be reproduced.

(If it could, then he’d love to bottle some up and save it for a rainy day, but maybe there was a hint of greed in that thought.)

•

“Oh, dear, I can’t believe someone would do such a thing!” the client across from him cooed. Her face tilted down a bit, and shadows draped across her eyes and cheeks. “Still, I can’t believe you got Tooru to scrape through that filthy pond for you. He always has been excessively charitable.”

“Yeah,” Hinata mumbled, stuffing a bite of cake into his mouth. The sweetness was significantly dampened by the presence of the girl. What was her name, again? His focus shifted to trying to recall it.

“I couldn’t imagine having so little shame that I’d be a charity case, though. I mean, doesn’t it embarrass you to have Tooru waiting on you hand and foot?”

Yachi, who’d been standing just within earshot, turned to their conversation just then, a disgruntled look on her face. Despite the anxiety that spread quivers across her body from her sternum, she frowned heavily and managed to inquire, "Aren’t you just jealous?”

Something flashed across the clients face then: anger, most likely. Hinata was drawn out of his attempt at recollection by her hand shooting across the table to yank him over to her, a scream escaping her as they toppled to the ground. Teapots and cups burst apart upon contact with the pink tiles, some of the tea soaking into the knees of his gifted uniform pants as it puddled.

Hinata’s palms and wrists ached from the way they slammed against the floor, on either side of the client’s head. People were quick to crowd them, murmuring and gazing in horror.

“Help!” she cried, “He attacked me! He just jumped across the table, I--” she scooted out from under him, and he slowly sat back on his haunches before accidentally falling onto his bottom. The discomfort of his soaked clothing did little to distract him from the confusion welling within.

She crawled over to Oikawa whence the brunette stepped closer to the scene. He was the first one over, ever keen regarding the club’s new pet, but only after surveying the situation did he close the distance.

Her fingers clutched at Oikawa’s pant leg, creasing the fabric as she shivered with tears in her eyes. Hinata’s jaw was slack. Did he do something? Did he try to do anything to her while he was spaced out? He was sure she pulled him, but should he have been expecting such a thing and made to avoid it?

He slowly turned his eyes over to Yachi, whose face was creased in an anger he’d never quite seen before. Her meekness took a sideline to the frustration and disbelief drawing together her brows and tugging her lips downwards.

“Tooru, please, you have to do something. He was like an animal, I--”

Her desperate face fell into shock as warm water rushed across her face and scalp, soaking the top of her uniform dress. Her panting became a squeaking staccato, and she blinked as her brows drew up steadily.

“Tooru?” she whispered, before whipping her head around to the Miya Twins, who glared down at her, unimpressed. “What are you doing? Didn’t you hear me?! I--”

“God, you pigs sure like to squeal, don’tcha.”

Osamu glanced down at the jug in his grasp. “I oughtta grab another one at this rate.”

“Why did you--” Hinata startled as Yachi stepped in front of him.

“You pulled him to you! I saw it! You were envious that he got Oikawa-san’s attention and tried to frame him!” she blurted.

More whispers and gasps spread across their audience easily. Oikawa’s face was steely and impassive as the client stared up at him with a cocktail of hurt and anger. “You can’t believe her, Tooru, I--”

“You really are beautiful,” Oikawa interrupted, his fingers gliding under her chin. “But nothing more than that. It seems you’re not classy enough for our club, my dear, and so I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks, Hinata’s heart clenching with a mild bit of sympathy, before she got to her feet and took off, her broken shout of, “Tooru, you idiot--!” echoing through the clubroom.

“I’m sorry, ladies; regrettably, we’ll have to cut our time short for today.” Tsukishima said with his paper-thin smile. It dropped as Akaashi continued for him,

“All of you will receive a full refund of the costs for today’s appointments. You can also use those same funds to reschedule, if you’d like to. We deeply apologize for the inconvenience.”

The girls cooed and cheered, and Tsukishima barely kept his frown from forming.

Eventually the clients filed out of the clubroom, exclaiming their farewells to the hosts. Hinata and Yachi silently stared after them, not wanting to look back to the hosts surrounding them.

“So, what should I do about you?” Oikawa said, drawing Hinata’s reluctant attention. The appraising look and grasp of his own chin were not reassuring at all; Hinata and Yachi glanced at each other and gulped. “Hmm, Tsukki-chan?”

“Don’t call me that,” the bespectacled blonde groused, before pushing up his glasses and smirking. “Since our guests had to leave and receive refunds, our profits for today are at a zero. And because of the drama earlier, we have a few broken teapots and cups from one of our specialty sets, as well as a table that needs to be repaired. To make up for all the damages and overall loss... Akaashi?”

The ravenette typed into a calculator quickly. Bokuto hid behind a sinisterly-grinning Kuroo with his fingers half-heartedly covering his eyes from fear of Akaashi. Akaashi presented the calculator screen within a second.

“Approximately one hundred thousand yen.”

“H-Hundred...”

“Thou...-sand...” Yachi’s eyes swam. Hinata caught her as she half-fainted, both of them shaking with tears welling in their eyes.

“That’ll be added onto your debt, you two. You’d better hope one of your descendents pays it off.” Tsukishima’s smirk shaved additional years off their lives, and Hinata had to pull Yachi’s soul back from the air to shove it back into her body.

“Darn rich people,” he whined. Kuroo cackled.

••

That was fun ngl. Like, some things go slightly different than in OHSHC, but overall it has some of the same vibes I think

I feel like Bokuto and Akaashi as Honey and Mori respectively would be funnily fitting despite the roles I have them in here, but I think I’m gonna be fluid and loosey-goosey about who is which OHSHC character most of the time (since Noya isn’t entirely Honey-like and there are lots of people who can fit different roles). Kenma and/or Kuroo can fit Kyoya and Tamaki roles too, now that I think about it. Damn this show for having so many characters.

Also this is a nightmare to tag since a lot of characters have multiple spellings for their names and there are so many characters. Heck, that’s why I wrote all the ships at the top!

Anyway, I hope y’all liked it! Might write more if asked

Also, should I cross-post some of this to Ao3?

#akaashi keiji akashi #tsukishima tsukki kei #nishinoya yu yuu #aone takanobu #ushijima wakatoshi #hinata shoyo shouyou shouyo shoyou #oikawa tooru tohru toru #hyakuzawa yudai yuudai #bokuto kotaro koutaro kotarou koutarou #kuroo tetsuroo kuro tetsuro #tetsurou #miya osamu #miya atsumu #miya twins #yachi hitoka #ouran hs hc au #haikyu haikyuu hq

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gra-sonas · 3 years

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Not to be a downer but season 3 better be incredible or I fear this small fandom is going to get even smaller. I can't remember any show I've watched being this bad at promotion. And it can't be blamed on the pandemic because every show is going through that and has still managed to release trailers, bts, interviews, etc. And I know the cast can only do so much but they barely promote either like they're taking the cues from CW. It's just all disappointing. Sorry to be so negative but is frustrating.

I think that's the expectation most of us have, yeah.

I'd be okay with a decent season tbh, just, make the [main mystery] story make sense please, that'd be nice... The season doesn't have to be exceptional (though I wouldn't mind if it was, don't get me wrong), and I don't expect them to fix every little thing that went wrong in previous seasons.

What - imo - has to happen tho:

They have to deliver a much better season than S2 in regards to character development, and the friendships between the core 8 in particular

Liz Ortecho has to become the MAIN CHARACTER again. And please, don't let her just talk about how much she misses Max all season... 🥴

No redemption arc for racist little shits, instead give Flint the redemption arc he deserves.

Isobel Evans gets herself a girlfriend in S3. My body is ready for all the good sapphic content.

Don't sideline any of the characters. Like, it's okay if Alex is involved in Deep Sky stuff, if we also see him interact with the other main characters. Just don't let him go off on a mission of his own for 3/4 of a season, and not talk to anyone (besides Michael maybe).

Malex has to happen in S3, and please, don't wait with that until the last 5 minutes of the finale. I want to see them get together (much) earlier, and then I want to see them together. AS A COUPLE. And for the love of god, stop heaping trauma (and especially queer trauma) on them. I'm still not over that Danny interview where he proudly talks about the awesome treatment of LGBTQIA characters on the show and I'm just...

I'm convinced that if the season is going well for them, and they end Malex on a happy/positive note this season, the fandom will make it through another hiatus. And really, I expect the show to deliver that at least..

I still want all the other things to happen tho, I want the show to live up to its great potential. If we could get back to the first half of S1 writing levels at least, that would be a start.

And really, so far we blamed a lot of the things that went wrong on CAM (and I'm fairly certain, rightly so), but if this is going to be another rather lackluster season with little to no friendship moments between the core 8, lack of character development, characters being sidelined bc they don't know what to do with them, and Malex being put through the traumer wringer again for ~drama reasons, I don't see how the fandom could bounce back from that bc then it would be clear that the show probably won't ever get better.

Again, I don't think that we have to worry too much about that, but the expectations are still high, and either they get a lot of things right this season (Malex in particular), or the fandom will be pretty dead by the end of S3 (it's barely breathing as it is atm...)

As for the promo situation I'm just..

Anyway, 15 days until S3 \0/

#rnm speculation #rnm spoilers #nonnie asks

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danwhobrowses · 3 years

Text

One Piece Chapter 1027 - Initial Thoughts

Okay we have returned, 2 more commanders have fallen and Luffy has returned into the fight proper now. But the chapter title is a concerning one

'An Unbelievable Disaster'

but for who? Let's find out

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release

Haha Roger, little scoundrel. Wonder if we will get any young Roger flashbacks in the future

Carrot is back in centre frame, hugging Neko after defeating Perospero

Neko being sweet in warning her about the moonlight, I mean Carrot did say she was able to control it in WCI

Must really be a moment for Momo and Yamato too, we've seen the heavens part, we've had our freakout from the clash of kings, but this is the first time for them, the wave of emotions they must be going through

The clash is really doing a number on the lower floors too, I have continually warned you all of this island's structural integrity, roof ain't made for fighting

Yamato finally feels the effects of Thunder Bagua, despite shielding themselves from it. So I'd like people who were trying to rank Zoro below Yamato to kindly take the L because Yamato didn't scar Kaido

Back to the bickering for Luffy and Momo, Yamato telling him to help Momo, which is a solid plan still despite Momo's protests

Kaido isn't just gonna let this plan happen though and goes for Momo - who is still trying to will himself to fly - and Yamato

Seeing Kaido has Momo invoke Kin'emon and Kiku for strength, which is a bit heartbreaking since they're either dead or near-death atm

Yamato blocks the first attack and then Luffy wraps around Kaido to halt him

Luffy's little smile, of course everyone knows that Luffy wants Kaido to himself

Momo takes the leap, but he cannot steer and thus is plummeting

Luckily Yamato is a Dragon Tutorial NPC, telling Momo the mechanics of 'flying', like Geppo is more kicking the air, Dragons are simply climbing clouds

Momo's euphoria to flying is sweet too, given how he was deathly afraid of heights about 2 minutes ago

But rubble from the island is falling on them, so Yamato has to bat them away

The underneath is crumbling, which could indeed be a sign that Kaido is weakening, but it could also be a sign that the island's integrity is reaching its limits, also I still like my theory last week that Onigashima was the original capital, the bedrock would be unstable if it was lifted away before

Momo tries to push the island away, but Yamato points out how it's futile; the Flower Capital is in sight

I wonder if that's a normal 5 minutes of a Frieza 5 minutes?

Yamato suggests using Momo's fire clouds, but Momo doesn't feel like he's at that level yet, still questioning whether he has all of Kaido's powers

Alright so you can't just drop it there either it seems, Onigashima has enough explosives to basically nuke the capital in fallout, got a bit of Alabasta references here maybe? Blow it up in the sky

Since they don't want Kaido to run out of energy too, Momo suggests stopping Luffy, but gets bonked for being daft

'Even though he can barely stand'? Not sure about that Yamato he had a big lunch while you were fighting Kaido

But it's right not to tell him yet, if a solution is found there's no point, plus one will bet that Kaido will tell him if he gets desperate

Meanwhile on the performance floor though, King has gone in a slashing fit

KNIFE WINGS!

Zoro's blocked it but he's also been flung quite a way away

Safe hands by Franky

Zoro ain't asking for help when he scarred a Yonko, besides he should be teaming with Sanji at this point

Sanji of whom we don't see in this chapter, just Queen bickering with King

Ah okay so King is having a fit because Zoro cut his mask

King charges at Zoro again, hoping to dump him off the Island, but Zoro corrects himself with a new attack 'Clear Lance/Sky Tanuki'

Yeah Zoro would much rather die by the blade than plummet, though King's not exactly in a compliant mood

Though, you only see a tiny bit of his forehead, dunno why he's throwing such a hissy over that? He'll probably get a bunch of fangirls when his full face is revealed anyway

So this was an eventful one, starting strong with Luffy and Kaido setting a 1v1 we shifted over to Momo. As expected, Yamato is perfect for guiding Momo through his dragon powers. I didn't expect Onigashima to be loaded with enough explosives to be a bomb though, suppose it makes sense but it is adding some extra urgency.

We had some Neko and Carrot stuff at the start but not a lot, I hope this does mean plans for Carrot, it also may be a contrast to Inu who is without support and Orochi nearby.

Our main focus looks to shift to Zoro vs King, bit sad it's focusing on a singles fight (for now maybe) because I wanted Zoro and Sanji to fight together to win, but alas we will get some personal time with King to show off his race's design and capabilities. Wonder if he looks similar to someone else we know?

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shinjaeha · 3 years

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itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...

#i told sunset about you #itsay #like there's more angst to come but the real climax of it was in this ep that's how i feel anyway #idk if both of them will get in. i HOPE both of them do.#but i just think that when things get angsty at this point of the story there's always a chance for it to turn around #you just need to worry when things are too happy UNTIL you get to the last ep #tbh though i would like a kiss between them out in the open when teh's finally stopped repressing himself #just so he can show the character growth of his whole arc. so he can be free.#i would obv very much like for them to end up together but there's only one ep left so idk if they can get to that point when there's still #so much that teh has to learn to come to terms with #and he's going to be so so stressed with the exam too (i saw the previews and am bracing myself for more heartbreak as he cries)#i did not mean for this to be as long as it was but i was sporadically writing it as i worked and kept thinking of things to add #and it somehow became an essay #i wrote more in this than i've ever written in any of my uni essays GOD #if you read this whole thing you need some kind of medal or something idk man #also random note but teh's mum's kebaya looks like one that my mum owns #text

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