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justaaveragereader · 3 months

Text

I Hate You

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: Dom!Hwa, Toxic Hwa, Sadistic Hwa he’s just a huge red flag tbh , Mafia!Hwa, Hate Sex, Sub!Reader, Spit, Name Calling, Passing Liquid From One Mouth To Another, Degradation, Oral (Giving), Unprotected Sex, Cream Pie, Choking, Angsty, Manhandling, If I Missed Anything…👀Lemme Know👏🏼!

A/N: Hear me out…some about Hwa with a damn grill gone do it for me EVERY TIME! Him and that dang fur coat is giving mafia, if you disagree…you are blind. I was listening to Amy Winehouse ‘You Know I’m No Good.” and instantly thought of this for Hwa! Then I saw the unit pic him and Hongjoong took where Hwa is wearing black and white with that sleazy, smoldering look on his face and internally screameddddd! I swear ever since bouncy Hwa plagues my mind faithfully😔, I’m down bad fr. Also this isn’t fully proof read so if there is some mistakes…💀 my bad yall.

✍️Masterlist✍️

“Fuck you Park Seonghwa.” You spit through gritted teeth, both cheeks squished between one of his lackey henchmen.

“Give me the word boss, and I’ll end her pretty ass right here.”

Letting out a deep chuckle, man spreading even further in his chair, long brown fur coat draping against his seated figure. Letting out a click of his tongue. He snaps his fingers, the henchmen immediately let go of you. Your figure smacks the floor with a loud thud.

“You do have quite the mouth on you.” He says through laughter. Mocking you, like you are the scum of the earth. His eyes cut through you like sharpened glass. Your eyes shoot up briefly taking in his figure. Shirt unbuttoned right below his pecks, showing quite a bit of skin. Adjusting himself, you realize he’s bricked up against his jeans, the fabric dancing with different material down both pant legs. Was this fucker really getting off seeing you in misery?!

“I like them mouthy, it turns me on.” Getting up from his lax state in the chair, he makes his way over to you. You clench your face in disgust as he walks closer to you, shoes echoing with each step. You’ve seen this man in the daylight, and would never assume he was a monster by night.

His henchmen stand still almost like toy soldiers. Not daring to move an inch. This single man held so much power in just his aura it felt almost suffocating. Intoxicating…he’s got the type of power you could get drunk off of. Flicking his head to the side the group of men quickly file out. Leaving you and Seonghwa alone in the back of the warehouse.

“You wanted to see me.” He pauses his sentence, lifting his hands up, turning in a slow circle so you can soak in his full presence.

“Bask it in princess, because here I am, in the flesh.” He says almost too cocky for your liking. Smacking your lips at his over the top response. You roll your eyes, finding anything but him to look at, refusing to stroke his god-like ego.

“Now the real question is, I heard you were looking for big ol’ bad me.” He says through a pout, inching his way closer and closer to you. He moved swiftly, and was just as smooth as a snake.

Squatting down to your level, he places his hand on your jaw making you look at him. Your eyes burn holes into his. Lips drawn up tightly, almost snarling at him like you are kind of wild animal. Your veins can’t help but be filled with hate for this man. You hate that you seek him out, you hate how perfect he is in your eyes, you hate how he can do no wrong, you hate how hard you fell for him. You aren’t supposed to fall for a man like Park Seonghwa, no one was supposed to fall for a man like Park Seonghwa.

“Why are you looking for me? Aren’t you done with me?” He says nonchalantly. You feel like he’s spitting on you, like he’s showing you nothing but disrespect, like you mean nothing to him.

“Shut the fuck up.” You grit out, trying your best to move your face out of his grip, but he’s stronger than you. Making your head swoon with his strength, he was a no good for nothing man, but you were drawn to him. A true damsel in distress.

“Ooo I like when you talk nasty to me, it gets me hard. Real hard…” he says practically breathless, clearly he was turned on. He had been bricked since he saw his men toss carry your fighting body in the warehouse.

“I fucking hate you.” You spit at him. Words laced with venom. Laughing in your face, this was your routine with him. You say you hated him, how you weren’t looking for him, which lead to fucking, and him kicking you out. You’ve both danced with routine before.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop asking about me, stop looking for me.” He says kindly, but you know there is another layer to his soft spoken words. He's so unbothered at your hate for him, so sick and twisted in the mind that it fuels his body. Your eyes just cut to him, before rolling, darting away from him again. You didn’t want to admit out loud, nor give him the satisfaction of admitting that you were looking for him.

“Don’t look away from me y/n.” He states firmly. Gripping your face tighter, eyes flickering with games beneath them. Your eyes shoot back to him, almost annoyed at him.

“You hate me so much right? Then quit asking for me, quit looking for me.” He spits, making you wince after each word he speaks to you. Your eyes water slightly, moving your eyes to look to the side you were not going to give him any satisfaction.

“I hate you more than you can imagine Park Seonghwa.” Your whisper out loud, he can hear the broken record playing in your voice. The routine you constantly bestow on him.

“You know who I am, and you know just exactly what I do. So don’t shed any tears for me.” Shoving your face slightly back, he stands up, moving to sit back back on his chair. You watch as his fur coat sways from side to side as he plants himself on his chair. That crooked smile of his, gracing his face. You were disposable to him.

Your eyes watch his every move, popping open a bottle of liquor he takes a swig, shooting it down his throat like it was water. Smacking his lips obnoxiously, as he keeps eye contact with you. It was a battle in dominance that you knew you would lose. Leaning back in his chair, with the bottle resting between his legs. Your eyes slowly trace his body, soaking in every thing about this twisted man. Your body screamed for this man, your heart cried for him. You feel a flush of heat in between your legs at his cocky demeanor. With each sip of liquor he takes, he makes sure to keep eye contact with you while he shoots the tart liquid down. You catch a sly smile of his before he tips the bottle to slowly drip liquid down his chest.

With his head slightly cocked back he watched you through hooded eyes. His Matz neck tattoo sticking out like a sore thumb.

“Go on now princess, lick it up.”

You watched as the liquor ran down his body, drenching his neck and abdomen. Your eyes flicked down to his stomach, slowly traveling up his neck, meeting his eyes. Park Seonghwa was no good, you knew he was no good, hell, even he knew he was no good but that didn’t stop you. It didn’t stop the feeling of need growing in your core. With a smack of your lips you get on your hands, as you were still on the floor, slowly making your ways towards him, degrading yourself even further for him. Hands coming up to rest against his clothed thighs. Hard on staring you right in the face, thick at the base, with a lean to one side. Your fingers brush over it, trailing the thick vein that pulsates. His grin takes over his whole face, checkmate.

While he’s slack against the chair, man spreading so you fit in between his legs, he looks down at you. Grill twinkling in the poor fluorescent lights, he looks like trouble. His eyes say more than his own words do.

“Go on now sugar, be a good girl and put that tongue to use.” He says through a small chuckle, chest vibrating with each laugh.

“I know that pretty mouth is good for more than saying how much you hate me.”

You lick your lips slightly, before inching your body closer to his, your heated tongue comes into contact with his abdomen. Licking the liquor that remained there. The flavors makes your mouth water, while liquor was never your vice. Park Seonghwa was. He grips the handles of his chair, the feeling of your warm, soft tongue on his skin was like a reward. You were practically waving the white flag in his face. He won, he always wins.

Your tongue dips between each individual ab muscle, making sure not to leave any inch of skin uncovered. He tasted like heaven, yet you know this was far from it. As you inched further down his body you come right below his belly button. His happy trail right beneath your tongue, eliciting a loud groan out of him. He comes to cup the back of your neck, encouraging you to go lower. The fur from his coat tickles the sides of your arms, fingers on the button of his jeans, giving him a once over again you pop the button. Shimmying his pants down to his thighs his hard cock springs out, of course he was going commando. You stare up at him in disgust, jealousy lies beneath your skin.

His hand grips the back of your neck firmly, almost like he’s a mother cat, snatching his kitten up. He stares at you from beneath his nose. Taunting you, getting off at your misery. His member jumps slightly at seeing you in such a distressed state.

“I knew you were coming today ma. I knew you were going to warm my cock, so I thought why not forgo the boxers.”

You swallow loudly, gulping down the jealousy you were harboring. You should feel dirty, disgusted at the fact he knew you’d warm his leaking cock. Yet you can’t help but feel a swell of pride in your chest. He was waiting on you.

“You must’ve been pretty excited to see me.” You say, not looking him in his eyes but your voice gives you away. The small cracks and whimpers that leave your mouth are enough to know he’s got you in his trap per usual.

His black hair framed his face perfectly, the poor lighting made him look like he descended from heaven. Gripping his hard cock, you move the pre cum around the tip of it. Letting the back of your neck go, he leans back, watching the scene in front of him unfold. The feeling of your soft padded thumb on the tip of his head made him let out a groan. Black hair falling in front of his face.

Gathering all the spit in your mouth you slowly let it drop on his cock, the cool contrast to his hot member has him hissing, like the true snake he is. You lower your body, your soft lips engulf the tip. Giving it a few sucks, tossing his head back he grips the arms on his chair so tightly you watch his knuckles turn white. You look up at him through your lashes, it’s like he has sensors any time your eyes are on him. Biting his lip he says through a breathy chuckle..

“It’s been a while ma, take it easy on poor me.”

Your pussy flutters at the thought of him not giving himself to anyone but you, women threw themselves at Seonghwa, hell, even men threw themselves at Seonghwa. Times like this are when your head gets filled with disappointment but your heart gets filled with joy. Popping off his cock you lick a stripe up his leaking member, tasting the saltiness of him. Your mind clouds with thoughts…were you the last person he was with? Did he truly wait for you? The thoughts are too loud in your head, and Seonghwa notices. Brushing a thumb over your cheek, it breaks the spell on you. Crashing you down to reality.

“I’m not doing this.” You whisper out, brushing your hands off on his fur coat. You stand up, dusting your knees off. Looking him straight in the eye.

“I’m not dealing with your mind games Seonghwa!”

Everytime you raise your voice a higher octave his cock bobs up and down. The spit still pooling on his waiting cock, wrapping his own hand around it, he slowly strokes himself up and down watching your frantic figure yell at him.

“Mind games? What mind games?”

“Fuck you Seonghwa! You know exactly what I’m talking about! You fuck with my mind! You tell me to stay away from you but then you fill my head saying shit like ‘oh it’s been a while’, you know exactly what you do!” Yelling so loudly it bounces off the warehouse walls, echoing down the room. Not caring if his tin soldiers hear. Letting out a quiet laugh he looks up at you through hooded eyes, eyes so pitch black they swallow up his pupil.

“You know what I am, you know exactly who I am.” He says while continuing to stroke his cock, getting hard at the thought of you yelling at him, causing such a big fuss for lil ol’ him.

“You are such a piece of shit you know that?”

Biting his lip he leans forward, almost taunting you. Stomach muscles contracted with how fast he was close to reaching his peak.

“You are all bark and no bite, you hate me so much. Always screaming how you hate me but you always come crawling back. You hate me or you hate the thought of being without me?” He says matter of factly, hitting the nail right on the head. Steam is practically radiating off your body. Letting out a huff you march over to him, snatching the liquor bottle from his side, taking a long drink from it, before hovering over him. Sticking out his tongue, you let the liquor splash into his mouth, and down his throat. Shoving his upper body back, you slap his hands away. Shoving your pants down to your ankles before stepping out of them. Ripping the shirt over your head. Placing each of your thighs on the outer side of his legs, hovering over his waiting member.

“You taste so good.” He says through a whisper, licking his lips, drinking down any leftover liquid you splashed in his mouth. Grabbing the empty liquor bottle he takes another swig, groaning as you slowly lower your sopping wet pussy onto his waiting cock. He fills you wall to wall. Deliciously just like the last time. Gripping you by the back of your neck, he brings you close to his face, the tips of your noses brush against each other.

“You know I’m trouble, you know I’m no good, but here you are on my cock. Admit it baby..” he says, slapping your ass cheek real hard with his free hand. Bringing your naked chest to his own, the bottom half of his shirt brushes your lower stomach, making your body liter with goosebumps. He was practically fully clothed while you were stripped down for him.

“You hate me so much because I’m all you want.”

Pulling you back by the neck so there is distance between the both of you. His hand grips your ass, beginning to move you slowly up and down his cock. The fill of him has your mind on cloud nine. You want to wipe that smirk off his face but you know he’s right. Your heart tugs when he’s near.

“I’m all you need, you want me to survive. Think I’m going to run away with you? Hang this life up for you?” He says through grit teeth, ending his sentence with a slight laugh, mocking you. Not even sparing to sell you a dream because you’ve already sold yourself one. You should’ve known by now you can’t change a man, and he was not just any man. He was Park Seonghwa. You start working your hips to meet his thrusts, picking up speed as your walls get custom to his thick size in your cunt.

Squelching noises fill the warehouse, you both are breathing each other in. His eyes glimmer every time you slam your hips down on him. Tossing his head against the back of the chair, he grabs both of your ass cheeks slamming you down even harder into his length, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix with each slam. Tossing your hands on his shoulders to stabilize yourself while you bounce around like a doll for him. Letting one of your ass cheeks go, he grabs the bottle of liquor.

Pouring it on your naked chest, he sticks his warm tongue against your heated skin, trying to slurp up the liquor that’s coated on your flesh. His cool lips, mixed with his warm tongue, has you mewling. Gripping the sides to his chair, you bounce faster up and down on his cock. Leaning your head back, you are in heaven right now. Licking a stripe up your neck, he laughs into your neck. You can feel him pulsate in your soft walls. The coolness of his grill has your pussy clenching down hard on him. He’s so deep in you that you can practically taste him in your mouth. The pleasure bringing you a whole new feeling has your eyes filled with tears of pleasure.

“Talked all that shit earlier, look at you now, bouncing on my cock like you have no fucking sense.”

You let out a pathetic cry, tilting your head back you try to take in as much air as you can. Every stroke up it feels like he’s knocking your lungs loose, your body burns with the constant need of this man. Biting your lip you look down at him through your lashes, trying your best to keep your eyes on him, scrunching your face, attempting to toss him a smug glare.

“Go on baby..fu-fuck. Tell me how much you hate me, it makes my dick hard.” He grits out with a chuckle watching you bounce up and down on his cock. Your hips still at the tip of his cock, as he clutches your ass, pistoning into you. The wet sound of his cock hammering away at you, has your eyes rolling, you are on the brink of an orgasm.

“Oh my god.” You moan loudly, nails digging into his clothes shoulders. Diving his face into your chest, he sucks and nips your skin, leaving small marks behind on the plush of your breast. Your mouth falls open, jaw going slack. Taking the opportunity he places his pointer and middle finger in your mouth, tugging down your jaw with his fingers.

“You are a fucking dick head.” You mumble out with your mouth full of his fingers, drool begins to pour landing over your breast that are flying in his face. His eyes briefly roll back, letting out a groan he pulls you closer to his face by your bottom jaw, wiggling his fingers in your mouth.

“Awww I’m a dickhead, yet you are drooling all over this dickhead.” He says through a chuckle, one harsh particular thrust has you practically biting down on his fingers. Letting out a low breathy moan, he removes his fingers from your mouth crashing his lips against yours, his grill clinking against your teeth. His hands travel to your ass again bouncing you faster. Your toes curl on the sides of his thighs, his grip on you is bruising, the wet skin slapping against his upper thighs. Tears fill your eyes once more at your orgasm building up

“I told you I was trouble, you know that I’m no good but look at you, bouncing on my cock like a bitch in heat.” He moans against your lips, nipping at your bottom lip, running his tongue along it, the taste of him on your mouth was sending you over. Tears overflowing from the pressure build up.

“Go on, tell me how much you hate me.” He grits wrapping a hand on the back of your neck in a possessive manner.

“Because you do, right? Hate me so much you wanna cry on this cock every night.” Slapping your ass harshly, feeling his heated hand print stinging on your skin you let out a choked out moan.

“Go on, tell me, I wanna hear you say it again. It turns me on.” He moans out, hips continuing into you, tears stream down your face, landing on his heated skin.

“I-I ha-hate you.” You say breathlessly, gripping his shoulders tighter. Your orgasm is at its tipping point with the way his cock is brushing against your cervix. Slapping your ass hard once more.

“Louder!”

“I ha-hate y-.”

“I can’t hear you!”

“I fucking hate you Park Seonghwa!” You scream at your orgasm tips over, clutching your fists into his shirt, hips immediately stopping, you fall over into Seonghwa chest pressed tightly against his very own while his hips continue to slam into your sopping cunt, your juices rolling down, soaking his jeans. Tossing his head back, his grip on you is bruising.

“Fuck Seonghwa, please!” You whimper out, your body is overly sensitive after your intense orgasm, and his bruising pace is making you more delirious.

“Fuck! Yes, yes yes!” His yells echoing in the entire warehouse without a second thought. With one final slam into your cunt he’s cumming deep in you, hips jerking up every couple of seconds to make sure you take every drop of him. His hands jiggle the meat off your flesh, before lightly rubbing where his bruising grip was.

Your heavy breathes are all that fill the room, pushing off his chest slightly, you groan at the feeling of his cum trickling out of you and around his member.

“You are so fucking stupid. I swear you are.”

He looks at you with one eye open, while the other remains shut from his post orgasmic bliss. With a deep chuckle, he pushes his black hair out of his face. Grabbing your chin between his fingers, bringing you close to his face. You stare him directly in the eyes, before the shimmer from his grill catches your eye.

“If you want me again for round two that’s all you have to say.” He whispers against your lips.

“Oh please, I barely enjoyed myself.” You say shoving him back by the chest, carefully removing yourself from his lap. You can feel his cum start to run down your inner thighs. Cutting your eyes at him you tug on the sleeve of his fur coat. Barely moving an inch he laughs at your frazzled state, pulling up his pants he buttons them again, watching your naked body move around quickly to find your clothes and put them on.

Just as you are buttoning your own pants. You hear the warehouse door slam open, the orange fur from the coat immediately catching your eye. Hongjoong is back…

“Oh..did I interrupt?” Hongjoong says, clearly unamused at Seonghwas actions.

“Hongjoong! You’re back early!” Seonghwa says, voice full of cheer.

Buttoning your pants all the way up, turning around all they see is the back of your shirt and pants as you walk away, feet practically stomping with each step.

“Fuck you Park Seonghwa!” You scream out, echoing so Hongjoong can hear.

“Seonghwa..” Hongjoong says quietly scolding him.

“Oh don’t you worry Hongjoong, she’ll be back!” He yells loudly, making sure that you hear him. Turning around you flip him off before continuing to stomp out of the warehouse.

“She always comes back..” he whispers quietly to himself as he watches your fleeing figure.

DO NOT REPOST.

GIF made by @justaaveragereader

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libraryraccoon · 2 months

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I saw the Floyd request and I thought of rook hunt in hasbin hotel.

Rip Alastor his privacy he now became the hunted the both speaking French .

Imagine rook talking about angel dust his inner beauty is making him feel loved every day saying something positive.

And Charlie and vaggie getting put on romantic dates by rook and lucifer and rook seeing them ta about how beautiful love is.

Gender : GN

Pronouns : no real pronouns used(sometimes they/them)

Character : Alastor, general headcanon

Message from Raccoon : I was also thinking of a rook!reader while writing the Floyd!Reader tbh.

TW : ROOK!READER, a little suggestive

The Demon Of Hunt, a very strong overlord who knows everything about everyone. A predator whose prey are doomed to die.

They aren't a demon you want to mess with, you don't want to be their prey.

In their lifetime a very famous hunter living in a small village, in their death The Demon Of Hunt, the hunter everyone is afraid of.

Alastor

He met you when he was still killing overlords.

“Now, isn’t that a rather crude way of killing ?” You asked behind him.

How long have you been behind Alastor ? He has no idea.

“Oh ! And what a beautiful deer tail you have there ! C'est magnifique !” You say, touching Alastor's deer tail; ignoring the fact that you had just seen him kill an overlord.

He straight up hated you.

But he also found you interesting, especially when you could see through all his attacks.

Boring, but entertaining.

After that, you didn't let him go.

You followed him, stalking him, wherever he went.

Like a predator with its prey, observing it before killing it.

When he left for 7 years, he finally thought he had lost you…

You followed him.

For 7 fucking years he had to stay with you.

Even 8V>× didn't want to make a contract with you after seeing how weird you were.

Not to mention all the times you talked about love…

*add a disgusted Alastor*

You interfered in his life and never left, even though he tried to reject you.

And let's not even talk about your strange comments…

"Oh ! I wonder what red deer would taste like for dinner ! Or maybe a red wendigo ! Qu'en pense tu, Alastor ?"

“Red deer ?” *remembers that he is, technically, some sort of red deer/wendigo as a demon.* "Ha ha ! Stay 100km/h away from me."

When you arrived at the hotel, Alastor finally felt free ! After all his years of being the stolkant, you finally left him alone !

Well, not always, after all you would never leave your prey friend alone for too long, but you weren't with him all the time.

Alastor won't lie, not being with you 24/7 after so long was weird…

He finally had privacy-

100% complained to Rosie about you.

“And they never gave me space !” -Alastor

"Really ?" -Rosie

"Well, I'll give him some time alone. For the bathroom." -Rook!Reader, arriving out of nowhere behind Alastor.

Although Alastor considers you as a menace, there are times when he is grateful to you and to be your friend.

Like those rare times of weakness, when you helped him feel better, reassured him. It was the rare times he was grateful to have you as a friend.

I just know that when you want to talk about something private/you don't want others to hear you, you speak French.

Although sometimes you just do it to piss off other people.

"Mon cher cerf préférer ! Al' ! Je viens de découvrir quelque chose sur Vox, tu vas pas y croire !"

"Je vais préparer le thé, après tu me racontera."

You turn all Overlord meetings from boring to interesting meetings.

During meetings, you had the habit of telling everyone's secrets (except Alastor's secrets, bestie privilege), and always the most interesting ! Like this time you said you saw Carmilla decapitate an exterminator !

*After the song Respectless.* "Actually, mes chers amis, it is possible, or not, that I saw Carmilla decapitate an exterminator with her shoes. C'était un combat splendide !"

General Headcanon

You don't let anyone have privacy.

They know it, but they can't say anything.

Angel Dust suffered the most of that, he saw you during one of his shoots watching him in the shadows.. It was terrifying.

“Just try to be sexy.” -Valentino looking at Angel Dust during a shoot.

"Oh, mais mon cher, he's sexy enough like this ! Take off the underwear and people will love it !" -Rook!Reader behind Valentino, coming out of nowhere.

"MOTHERFUCKER-" *Add Valentino's scream of terror.*

You comforted Angel after each shoot, cheering him up in a more or less suspicious ways.

You call Angel Dust by his real name, Anthony. You are the only one in the hotel who knows his real name and calls him like that.

Angel Dust is sort of happy that someone thinks of him as Anthony and not Angel Dust.

Valentino hates you, as do all Vees and all the demons.

Lucifer found you weird the first time he meet you, and knowing your reputation, it was normal, but in the end you got along really well.

You 🤝 Lucifer = make Charlie and Vaggie have romantic dates by candlelight.

“Ah, youthful love ! Que c'est beau !”

“I miss the love of youth..” (in a dramatically way)

Did I mention that you and Lucifer are and always will be drama queens ?

You and Lucifer are just THAT bestie duo that everyone wants to be.

I can so see you having these dinners for two in fancy restaurants while being platonic. You say the most romantic things, speaking in French, and Lucifer joins you in those moments, doing the same.

"Oh, mon chéri, you look beautiful tonight ! Even more brilliant than usual !"

"Oh, I should be the one to tell you that ! You look beyond stunning tonight in that costume !"

You are trending on the networks.

Every. Fucking. Days.

On the networks, there are 3 teams; those who ship Lucifer x Rook!Reader, those who ship Alastor x Rook!Reader, and those who say you are a hopelessromantic and/or aromantic.

They have hilarious debates that you love to join for just fuck all and everyone.

"Well, it's true that Monsieur Alastor is quite handsome, but Lucifer ? Oh, je ne sais même pas ou commencer a son sujet !" -Rook!Reader on the networks screwing up between the teams, always changing the place between Lucifer and Alastor.

You are a star in all the circles of hell fr.

One day, Charlie asked you if you were dating her father after seeing what you were doing/writing on internet.

You answered some shit like "As much as I would love to be with him, je ne pourrais qu'en rêver. He is far too good and handsome man for a simple sinner like me."

Vaggie doesn't trust you, not in a million of eons.

Sir Pentious asked if you had a death wish after he saw you touch Alastor's deer ears…

"Oh, to die by the hand of such a magnifique et servant gentleman ! What an honor that would be !"

Sir Pentious has never seen Alastor back away from someone so fast before-

Niffty like you. You regularly complimented her on her work and her beauty.

Husk, on the contrary, doesn't like you.

He had to endure you and Alastor's shit for too long, 7 years without both of you wasn't enough.

You intrude into people's intimate moments.

And by people, I mean Husk and Anthony.

Imagine Husk and Angel Dust, just being quietly alone, a super romantic moment, and then, you pop in between the two…

But sometimes when you compliment them (one time per day), they like you.

I like to think that the Tik Tok hell version is like the one of the living, with people doing random ship. And Rook!Reader live for that.

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unformula1 · 2 months

Text

everything fell apart (CL16 x reader)

part 1 (everything's falling apart) | part 3 (everything's gone) series masterlist- everything (you're losing me)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

synopsis: choose something babe, i got nothing.

“When were you going to tell me that this is happening?” He says, his hands gesturing at you two.

“Charles don’t say stupid things.” Arthur intervenes which gets him the deadliest glare from Charles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairing: charles leclerc x reader / arthur leclerc x reader

word count: 1299

a/n: wasn’t planning on part 2 but here we go!!! also Charles’ personality is COMPLETELY fictional, I promise he’s NOT like this. also sorry if this isn’t how yall want this to go :\ I tried. pretty rushed too. leave suggestions in comments or requests or anything tbh.

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @janeholt3 @boherahpsody @kryingkat22 @iamkaku @vizzzashley

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi.” He finally picked up.

“Hi Arthur.”

“Hola. What’s up?” He sounds like he’s chewing something, you hear distant keyboard clicking sounds in the background.

“Is this a bad time?” You ask, holding back the sobbing.

“No! Never a bad time!” He excitedly says, his voice resembles Charles’ a lot.

“Can we talk?”

“Sure!”

You hear more keyboard clicking and shuffling of stuff before Arthur lets you start.

“I love your brother.” You start off strong.

“Mhm. Clearly.” Arthur replies.

“Does he love me back?” You ask.

“Of course he does.” Arthur responds, pretty naively.

“Because lately he’s been a lot more… aggressive and he’s been going out a lot. We haven’t had a proper conversation in weeks.” You ramble, still trying your best to hold back your tears.

“Oh.” Arthur hesitates, “Really?”

“Mhm.” You respond, “And he’s definitely not the sweetheart I fell in love with.”

The first sob comes out, along with a teardrop. You quickly wipe it off with your hands, taking a deep breath.

“Mon ami, don’t cry.” He says almost instantly after your first sob.

Arthur and Charles were brothers, but they were also vastly different in many ways. Arthur definitely read people better but Charles treated them like royalty (used to).

Right now, Arthur’s voice is all you need, him and his calming voice. You desperately needed someone who could understand you, someone who would get what you were going through.

Arthur.

“I’m trying really… really hard.” You say in between sobs, which were growing much more intense.

Arthur doesn’t respond, you can hear his breathing. He hesitates. You don’t care, all you need is someone to listen to you.

“Sometimes it feels like I’m losing him and it kills me every time that shows.” Your filter completely turns off as your sobs turn into full-on crying.

You’re tired of this.

“It’s okay darling…” Arthur whispers across the phone.

His voice is the most comforting thing in the world. Charles’ voice too, but that was before all this happened.

“What if…” You let out a loud cry, just thinking about it, “What if… he’s found someone else.”

You let out a louder cry and you descend completely into tears and rambling. Across the phone, you hear shuffling of feet and footsteps.

“Please stay on the phone. I’m coming over. You’re at Charles’ house right?” He says, door locking can be heard, “Stay there.”

You try to reply to him but you just let out more cries. You manage to will out a mhm for him which earns you a sigh.

You stay on the call, no words are exchanged, you’re just crying and he’s doing whatever he can to comfort you.

“Charles would never.” Arthur reassures you, “He’s faithful.”

You hope so too. You desperately hope so.

-----------------------------------------

It doesn’t take long before you hear a doorbell ring. By now, your entire face is red and your eyes are puffy. You’re not a pretty cry-er but you could care less. Your hands are clasped together with tissues lying all over.

You quickly walk over to the door, adjusting your hair to at least look partially presentable for Arthur.

You take a deep breath and you open the door.

“Charles?” Your voice raises an octave or two.

“Yes?” He responds, as cold as he can sound.

“What are you doing-” You stutter out whatever words you can say.

He looks up from his phone, looking at your red and teary-eyed face, turning his attention to the couch which is ridden with crumpled up tissues.

He looks at your phone, and the call with Arthur.

“What were you doing?” Charles questioned, it sounded harsh and brutal, like an interrogation.

“Talking… and crying.” You hold back the tears just thinking of everything that happened.

“Talking to Arthur?” He says, even more suspiciously.

“Yes.” You reply.

He looks at you dead in the eye and keeps his phone in his pocket, taking a few steps toward you. Naturally, you take a few steps back. He stops and glares at you. You clutch onto your phone.

Looking at your phone, Arthur has muted himself in the call but a message drops from the top of your phone.

what now?

You didn’t know either.

Your head spun round the different possibilities right now.

“Mon amour… give me the phone.” He says, stretching out his hand to take the phone.

You scoff in your head. Mon amour. As if.

Another message from Arthur pops up.

give it to him

You look at the message and look back up at Charles, whose hand is still outstretched.

Give it? What were you? You weren’t just something Charles could command around.

“No.” You shakily say out.

Charles' voice grows angrier, “Please.”

“I want to hold onto it.” You insist. Your heart pounds hard against your ribcage.

Your phone buzzes a few more times before the call disconnects.

Charles’ face looks mad and horrified, maybe a mix of both, added with a little bit of anger.

“Don’t make this hard… please.” He says, the “please” feeling more fake than ever.

Arthur appears at the front door, which is still wide open.

The Leclercs share a glance before Charles returns his glare to you.

“Charles.” Arthur says, with that accent which you fell in love with one too many times.

“Arthur, please leave… right now.” Charles demands.

“Charles.” Arthur repeats, taking a step closer to you two.

“So when were you going to tell me?” Charles scoffs, alternating between looking at you and Arthur.

“What?” You say.

“When were you going to tell me that this is happening?” He says, his hands gesturing at you two.

“Charles don’t say stupid things.” Arthur intervenes which gets him the deadliest glare from Charles.

“I’m not stupid.” Charles says, taking a few steps backward, “I know what this is.”

Is he being serious? After all you’ve done for him? The audacity of him to think you were unfaithful. It killed everything inside of you knowing you would never do such a thing.

You snap.

“Are you fucking serious?” You say, the essence of sobbing is still there.

“After all I’ve done for you?” You continue, taking big steps toward him. This kills you too, it hurts everything inside you, “I loved you. I loved everything about you.”

“Liar.” Charles scoffs harder.

Your eyes widen. You had to process his words. Liar? Liar? LIAR?

“What?” It was less of a question and more of infuriated word placement.

“I fought for this. I fought against the world for me to be able to have you. And all I did was bleed.” You shout, your voice raising with every word.

Charles looks shocked. His face is blank and unreadable, his eyes glow an unfamiliar glow. It’s not angry or sad, it’s like he’s…confused.

The realisation of what you said quickly hit you back. You love Charles, you really do. Were those too harsh?

“Guys…” Arthur quickly breaks the tense silence, “Maybe we should sit down?”

“No- I’m not doing this.” Charles slams his hand onto a nearby table, grabbing his bag and storming out of the house, not forgetting to push Arthur out the way.

“Charles!” Arthur calls out to no avail as Charles storms down the corridor.

Arthur quickly turns his attention to you.

“I-” He doesn’t know what to say, “I didn’t know what to say-”

You look at him, your eyes watering up and before you knew it, you were running into his arms, breaking out in tears.

He hugged tightly onto you.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” He kept repeating in your ears as you slowly descended into just crying and sobbing. Your tears staining his shirt.

“What do I do now?” You say in between deep breaths.

“I…” Arthur looks at you, then around you, “I don’t know.”

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shxllraizxr · 5 months

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To get things going let's start off with a good prompt ♡

How would a Poly Relationship work between the Turtles and Y/N ?

[Gender Neutral Portrayal is my thing btw lmao]

[ also I loooove Poly Turtles. Its so rare now of days tbh ]

Warnings : Hints of Nsfw. Implied Sex & Sexual Romance ♡

This is mostly fluff tho !

Y/N has been crushing on the Turtles for a while now as has finally broken thier silence about their feelings. They figured a few ideas on how to possibly give all of them the same and equal treatment of love they deserve. A polyamorous relationship! Hopefully things can workout... hopefully.

Leo

Welllll- at first he wasn't really sure how this would go at first.

Lowkey didn't like the idea when first presented. He basically felt like it was showing that no commitment could be made if y/n was also having feelings for his brothers.

Don't get me wrong. He loves you but, this idea made him give you a bit of a scolding talk to after a few minutes of debating.

Luckily you are able to explain to him what this would all entail and you reassure him you will love him just the same as everyone .

Happy but definitely would have a tinge of jealousy thinking he can't have himself to you most of the time.

Fast forward to a few months of this relationship and lets just say he's easily the one who gets first dibs on kisses and stuff.

Constant argues with Raph about how he is being "too touchy with you" but he's a hypocrite.

Leo ALWAYS has his hands on you in private. Its the foreplay mood he likes to build up

Leader in battle and leader in the relationship

Warms up to the idea of having others in your heart and you have told him and made sure he knows you have a big piece of him in yours.

He's content with that and feels like he definitely won't lose you to anyone else.

Raph

Oh boy Raph asserted himself as the top dog over the others.

Against it right off the bat. Mainly cause he didn't like the idea of his bothers falling for someone he liked way before amy othe his brothers did.

Yes. He believes he caught feelings for you first (lowkey he did tho so he ain't wrong) and he will die on that hill.

Down BAD for you from the get go. And plans on letting his bros know he's got the hots for you.

Mainly the instigator in arguments about who loves you more. Mainly towards Leo since he know how he gets around you.

Handsy is an understatement.. HE IS ALL OVER YOU NO MATTER WHAT.

easy to provoke sexual intentionally and unintentionally. Man loves the idea of a tease. And he will reciprocate that

Down the line he gets less reserved and more okay with sharing you but he still has that jealousy and mindset of being your top lover.

You kind of have to learn to sometimes give into his subtle and "not so" subtle cues about affection and intimacy

Him and Leo kind of bond over talking about how beautiful / handsome you are. They are infatuated with you.

Raph is probably the most if not tied with Leo on how protective he is worh you. But he of course is a huge softie underneath all that plastron and muscle.

Donnie

Donnie actually kind of agreed to it easily.

Being a scientist as well as some trying to figure stuff out he kind of wanted to learn some things about it.

The only kind of negative thing about it at first was he kind of treated this type of thing as a lab study or research.

Not in a bad way but he focused alot on the scientific stuff more than romance but after expressing how you don't want him thinking of it as a experiment he chills put. And actually starts enjoying it.

Suprising very chill and calm.ablut when his bros get jealous. He kind of teases when he gets his turn to have you for the night or day.

Very light levels of jealously if any. He is content and knows you love him so he's very confident in himself.

Never would be the one to start any type of argument about who you love more.

The type to skip going on a training day to sneak a cuddle in with you. He would easily lie and say he has to do some routine diagnostics on the shellraiser or something

Humbling and can come.back with snarky remarks if people step put of line tho. Tho he is more reserved then them all.

Relies on advice from mikey - (yeah I know that's insane but its true) - when it comes to ideas on how to swoon you over.

Can and will make sure "if your okay with it" to set a schedule on checking in to make sure your okay if your not at the lair for long periods of time. He just wants to know you are safe.

Mikey

Chill AF like in a weird way. Still confuses you to this day how okay he was with this.

Never once showed any aggressiveness towards the others when they are around you. But will definitely tease raph to pass him off.

This mf literally will not stop having contact with you. He loves it when your around and will show it through physical affection

His form of jealousy is literally just puppy eyes and pouting. AND YOU FALL FOR IT EVERY SINGLE TIME !

Always offers and left over pizza to you first. He is a considerate gentleman after all.

Game nights you get the best controller. He doesn't care if the other fuss about stick drift or anything you get the best one. End. Of. Discussion.

Can go overboard with his ideas of a datenight. And will steal you away from.the others to get an extra hour or few minutes with you.

Kind of the glue of this relationship. He is the comical relief and weirdly would give the most out of pocket wisdom tips to everyone. Literally. It wields leo the fuck out at times how smart he can be.

Would be okay with having a joined cuddle with one of his bros and you. He use to be babied when he was younger so he likes to be the middle spoon in a cuddle honestly.

Flirty as hell along with Raph. He will give lewd remarks following after or before Raph. He will find a way to make you blush.

Made it his mission to please and make sure everyone is okay. He can be a little shit at times but he will always try his best to comply and follow the rules.

God I haven't written is sooooo loonggg! Hope this was alright haha !

Anyways I will try and be more active so be prepared for more posts ♡

#tmnt bayverse #bayverse turtles #tmnt 2k16 #tmnt 2k14 #tmnt mikey #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt x reader #poly!turtles #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt mikey x reader #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt headcanons #tmnt imagines #bara turtles

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m4ctavish · 1 year

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Gaz — General Headcanons.

Masterlist.

Pairing : Kyle “Gaz” Garrick/GN! Reader

Desc : Some general headcanons regarding Gaz because I love him akdhsodga

A/N : gaz is also my bbg i do not take criticism

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick :

Probably likes rom-coms (there’s just something so entertaining about them to him + the two of you could watch them together when he’s off duty)

Cherishes any and all gifts he gets, from you or from the team, even if they’re not really his style or something he really likes (it could be a terribly drawn picture from someone’s kid and he’d probably keep it in a desk drawer or pin it on his wall— if you got him a mug, it’s probably the only one he’d use from then on tbh)

Despises getting up early and is one of those people that sets an alarm an hour or two before he actually has to wake up with the idea of “i’ll just get up earlier, it’s alright” and then proceeds to turn them off when they start going off and sleeps in until he actually has to wake up (either that or he’s one of those people that just repeatedly snoozes them— can you imagine sleeping next to him and every 5 minutes you just hear his alarm going off and at that point, you’re more awake than he is)

To be completely honest, you’d probably have to wake him up yourself so you don’t have to listen to those god forsaken alarms for the new hour or so LMFAO

Doesn’t mind if you take some of his clothes and in fact, you may end up losing some of your t-shirts and pullovers to him too. It’s safe to assume both of your wardrobes are a mixture of your respective clothes and then the other’s (he’ll probably still poke fun at you though if he sees you wearing a pair of his sweats or a crewneck of his)

he owns a pair of sonic slippers, no i don’t take criticism (it’s 10x better if the two of you have matching pairs but it’s also cool if you have tails, knuckles, amy, etc.)

He’d absolutely stay up and have weird existential talks with you at (given he doesn’t have to get up super early) and in fact, he may even be the one to start it. Like, it could be pitch black, completely silent except for some small movements and you could ask him, “would you still love me if I was a worm?” And he’d probably roll over to look at you before going, “would you still love me if I was a worm?” (it’d probably just spiral from there)

Makes sure to bring you breakfast if and when possible (he has some of your favorite orders saved in his notes in case he forgets, which he does more often than not— he just has a lot on his mind sometimes so when it comes to your order he just blanks)

I feel like he can’t differentiate sarcasm and seriousness sometimes, especially if the person he’s talking to sounds like they’re being genuine when they’re not (ie. the whole conversation regarding how laswell and price met)

He hugs for a long time sometimes, especially when he has to leave for a bit (it’s the type of hug where neither of you want to let go and you’re just kind of swaying side to side)

Often buys you things he thinks you’ll like when he’s out or deployed (you now have a collection of snow globes from different countries, various mugs, some keychains and some more stuff you can’t even remember— it’s impressive, really)

Has a large collection of overwear, (windbreakers, pullovers, coats, etc.) He doesn’t even know how he got this many, it just kind of happened one day (but at least he has a jacket for every and any occasion 🤷)

#kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick x you #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick x you #gaz garrick x reader #gaz garrick x you #gaz headcanons #call of duty x reader

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nortism · 2 months

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doctor who liveblog pt 39

s7 ep13 nightmare in silver

- classic heads poking out the door one by one

- i’ve not seen classic who but that guy looks the amalgamation of all their doctors

- always the fucking cybermen

- hello warwick davis

- obviously they’re gonna wander off

- uh oh cyberman

- uh oh cyberbugs

- uh oh the cyberman got the little kid

- no blowing up this planet is good advice tbh

- uh oh half cybermen.

- uh oh he got cybered

- they really need a new companion handbook so clara can get how serious cybermen are

- oh that is quite a few cybermen

- oh no the most thing didn’t work

- porridge is the emperor?!

- i think i would have taken him on up on the marriage proposal

s7 ep14 the name of the doctor

- ayyy gallifrey

- oh the first doctor hello

- omg all the classic doctors

- impossible girl lets go

- MADAME VASTRA!!

- RIVER!! i’ve been wondering where she got to

- trenzalore sounds like an anti depressant

- JENNY?!!?!::)/£ NOOOOOO

- oh i don’t like these guys

- what do u mean an ex, u guys just got married??

- uh oh he’s crying, this is unsettling

- oh shit we’re going to the doctor’s grave

- the tardis always the most sensible person around

- oh giant tardis

- hello river

- RIVER’S GRAVE?!

- yay jenny

- oh this fucking guy again

- this is not good

- JENNY NOOOO

- strax omg

- omg clara no

- oh she said the line

- goodbye river

- ohhh the leaf

- this whole name business feels very much like a trans allegory

- hello john hurt as the doctor

mini episode - the night of the doctor

- i’ve been told there’s other mini episodes but this is the one that’s on iplayer

- not sure i got that but crazy stuff

the day of the doctor

- ooh the old intro

- she’s a teacher now??

- WITH BILLIE PIPER???

- also hello david tennant or whatever

- hello billie piper??

- is this meant to be rose?!

- wait she’s the conscience??

- ohhhhhh

- i forgot he married elizabeth i

- oh hello painted david tennant

- david what has happen to your hair?!?

- this is so silly

- uh oh zygons

- jack harkness mention!!

- NO CLARA!!

- yes then clara !!

- that’s a lot of dead children

- ofc the door was unlocked

- ALLLL THIRTEENNNNNN

- oh this is hype as hell

- ohhh the war doctor turning into nine

- i think i supposed to know who the curator is but i don’t

- that was a crazy crossover, i loved it. i just wish eccelston didn’t hate being the doctor bc i would have liked it if all three of them showed up

the time of the doctor

- oh yes fake dating subplot

- ohhh gallifrey

- oh great the silence

- the tardis should work by remote

- oh great the wall crack

- shitttt trenzalore

- oh he pulled a the parting of ways on clara

- how has he aged??

- oh he’s only got a finite number of lives, like a cat

- not again, poor clara

- oh he’s old old

- oh bonus regeneration power

- that’s not peter capaldi??

- oh he’s still cooking

- aww amelia

- AMY 😭😭

- oh the bow tie

- PETER CAPALDI!! i hope he treats clara better bc my girl has been through the wars

- tragic we didn’t get to see him looking awkward in the bow tie, that’s always my favourite part of each regeneration

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autisticshadowthehedgehog · 2 months

Note

I saw your meme post about Chris and wanted to ask regarding it (though if this has been asked before I apologize): how do you feel about him being the one to make Shadow remember his real promise to Maria and turn to the side of good, rather than it being Amy? I remember there being some controversy about this, mostly for the fact it was Chris but personally while the OG take is fine I think I like this one slightly more. To me it make more sense a human child regardless of gender reminds Shadow of Maria instead of Amy who- reminds him of Maria because she’s a girl ig??? (I like Amy so no hate to her but I always was a little mixed about her role in SA2 ngl, I also prefer how she breaks sonic out of jail in X then OG tbh)

honestly i think the speech works better when it's someone shadow knows giving it to him, rather than just someone walking up and talking about hope. so chris i guess worked pretty well? was really fucking funny that shadow was like "you're maria 3 now. get in the rocketship"

personally i think rouge should give the speech it would be very effective they are siblings

anyway @birdsareblooming u have opinions on this

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 1 year

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Doctor Who, but Chronologically 25

I know I know, haven't done this in a while. Check the tag for past instalments

But it's 1905! One year on from all that Flux stuff, and while Jodie Whittaker is back as the Doctor and Yaz is here again we nonetheless have Graham and Ryan back too and no Dan, so who knows when all that's getting resolved. Meanwhile we're in New York meeting Nicola Tesla, who is played by Damien Moreau.

This is a painfully average episode. On the one hand it's fun and features space scorpions. On the other the companions do pretty much nothing this episode, so it's yet another example of "Why are these people here". Yaz comes closest to being relevant by convincing Tesla not to give into a scorpion queen while they're on her ship, but honestly, you could replace all three with sexy lamps and nothing would change about the plot.

Not a lot of plot happens really, and it doesn't happen for 45 minutes. Turns out Tesla has received a signal from Mars, which of course is currently full of Ice Warriors evicting the British Empire, so maybe that's what he picked up? Except everyone thinks he's mad, which is strange, since Britain literally colonised Mars to steal gemstones like two episodes ago. Honestly, it's almost like these episodes were filmed several series apart with completely different production teams.

Anyway Tesla signalled back, but it was asshole space scorpions, and now they want to kidnap him to make him upgrade their weapons or something. They have a queen who is fully humanoid and also played by Rani from the Sarah Jane Adventures. The rest of them literally just look like scorpions. This is a very Legend of Zelda approach to character design.

The episode is mostly a philosophical treatise about dreaming engineers who want to save the world being hamstrung by capitalism, so that's great, but tbh it's thin on character-work. There's a dreary bit where the Doctor phones the scorpion queen and says they aren't handing over Tesla so the scorpions should leave or else, and the scorpion queen says they'll kill the planet in that case, and the Doctor looks flabbergasted even though that was very literally what the scorpions had already said they'd do. I honestly do not understand the shocked reactions at this point. Then Tesla says he has to sacrifice himself in that case, and we get a more toothless rehashing of the Percy Bysshe Shelley vs billions of people debate that we had like ten episodes ago, and once again, lads, once again, I must stress that this is a STUPID way to watch this show.

Eventually they blow up the scorpion ship with the queen on board. How like a Tesla.

Very little in the way of meaningful events! There's a bit where the scorpion queen asks the Doctor if she's ever seen a dead planet and the Doctor says yes and looks a bit haunted. That's about it though. No answers to any of our hanging plot threads, but also no new questions, so we're Winning

Hanging plot thread list:

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole (And Nardole was “reassembled???”)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

What’s With The Silence?

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window?

What’s with the Doctor’s future involving getting shot by an astronaut?

Is Amy pregnant and why is it inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

Who did the Doctor lose to Cyber Conversion?

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What’s with the Weeping Angel statues, and why can’t you blink at them?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi.)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

What happened with Amy’s pregnancy?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

#doctor whom #and yet we are continuing

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actuallylorelaigilmore · 7 months

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2022 MOVIE OF THE WEEK #33

disenchanted. i......have been avoiding this review since literally months ago because just thinking about reviewing this movie makes me sad and tired. if you loved this movie, which i think some people must have because i’ve seen the occasional gifs from it on my dash, feel free to skip this. it’ll go behind a cut, because i suspect it’s gonna get long.

(spoiler alert: it got ridiculously long. how did i have five thousand words to say about this? and if anyone besides leander reads this i’ll be shocked but that’s fine cuz they were the one encouraging me to make it through this rant and if they hadn’t i definitely would have given up even trying a long time ago.)

and it is pretty much universally negative, because i could not have been more looking forward to this sequel featuring literally my favorite disney (noncanon but still mine) princess and it not only let me down (as sequels tbh do a lot so that’s not even surprising) but it sincerely broke my heart.

in a ‘wow i’m being really overdramatic about a disney movie’ sort of way, but it’ll make more sense after i explain it, i promise. you had to be there, i think, to care as much as i do, and only @actuallylukedanes was, so it was also pretty convenient that i ended up watching this with them when they were gonna watch it with their partner and invited me to join. cuz they felt the same way i did about the sequel, which is how i knew i was not overreacting.

it was also leander who advised me to start posting completed reviews of other 2022 movies since i was stuck on this one, even though i never posted them out of order before. (i ended up realizing in january that i totally forgot a movie from 2022, so it’s good i wasn’t as obsessed with perfect chronology anyway.)

the first warning sign i had with this movie was honestly its release. they had been talking about an enchanted sequel for so long that i had stopped hoping for one, and then when it was really happening they wouldn’t even put it in theaters!! i was so pissed off about that, because enchanted felt like a magical (pun intended) experience for me in 2007.

it came out exactly on my birthday, when i turned 23, and @actuallylukedanes and i saw it in the theater to celebrate. we lived in utah then, and were happy rather than homeless, and we paid for the movie using a card that had a ‘reward’ system like a lottery where they told you they would at some random time choose a single purchase you made, and reimburse you for it. out of everything we paid for with that card, it was the tickets to enchanted that they made free.

and i couldn’t have been more excited to see enchanted back then, because it was a real live musical, and those have always been rarer than i wish they were, and the cast was ridiculously great. long before amy adams was making bigger movies, she had played tara’s cousin on buffy and a memorable one-episode character on charmed, and i had just always loved her an unreasonable amount like i had been waiting for her to be a movie star. plus i had discovered wicked in college and dove deep into other idina menzel musicals as well as every one of her solo albums (and singles that weren’t sold anywhere, which i downloaded illegally because that is called devotion) and was just generally obsessed with her for years.

and then there was patrick dempsey, reliable dreamy star of grey’s anatomy (which i gave up on quickly but he was good in) and james marsden of the x-men trilogy i had watched a zillion times. (his character was not one i liked in that, but he was great as a comedic part of this.) i had grown up with susan sarandon and wasn’t used to her as a villain but she brought just the right level of Too Much, and her henchman was perfectly cast. they somehow managed to even make the child in the story not annoying, which can be really rare, especially when she has an actual role--but she’s great.

the mix of animation and live-action was really fun, and when giselle’s dress goes from cartoon to sparkly 3d it was so swoony. truly like a disney fantasy sort of moment, they brought so much to life. and they did so even where it shouldn’t have worked! the basic plot of ‘two couples aren’t meant to be so they switch partners amongst themselves and then it’s perfect’ is not one i like in other movies, but here i’m just like, yeah absolutely, dance with patrick dempsey in your pretty dress, and let idina menzel go live in a fairy tale.

but in addition to all of that, and the catchy, catchy music, what i really, truly loved about enchanted, and why it was one of my all time favorite movies to put on that i never got sick of (along with mamma mia and a few others, i really like musicals okay), is how much it turned out that i identified with giselle. how much she not only made sense to me, even as she was supposed to be this wide-eyed disney princess, but how she gave me language for things i was still figuring out, and i got so attached to that.

i was 23 years old. i had left home less than two years earlier, and i didn’t know i was autistic yet, let alone bipolar/anxious/adhd/disordered eating all knotted together. i hadn’t begun thinking about what it meant to be ‘developmentally disabled,’ and how unprepared that made me for adulthood, independence or being in a relationship. I had just leaped into all those things, and i wasn’t necessarily all that good at any of them.

but there was giselle, singing her way through a world she didn’t understand how to navigate either, and it was okay because there was somebody who loved her for her exact weird self and a child who needed her. (substitute cats for child and you see where i’m coming from.) she was relentlessly optimistic but also cursed by forces outside her control, and she was full of creativity.

my absolute favorite moment that giselle has in the whole movie, when it comes to why it was important to me, is when she experiences anger. at first she can’t even name it, and then there’s a kind of joy she finds in it, in having a new feeling...in having the FREEDOM to feel that difficult feeling, and not need things to be perfect all the time. until i saw that scene, i had never realized that my childhood had trained me to not be angry--before i was even conscious that had happened. and once i saw that scene, i started to wonder if maybe anger was something i was allowed to feel, after all.

i think if you’re not me, or you didn’t know me at 21 (a fragile adorable unstable bby desperate to be rescued from my life), it might be hard to understand that, how i didn’t just love giselle for being giselle, but loved her for being the most me a character played by amy adams could be.

up until i fell in love, and was loved in return (my only real wish thanks to moulin rouge), i collected tv and movie characters, made little lists of them, and they were always the ones i wanted to be like, ones i wanted to grow into. usually the snarky best friends, the deadpan wits, the ones who pined but never got the guy. (bby me didn’t think anything but ‘guy’ was an option.) i didn’t spend time claiming characters that were like me, that made me feel seen, until i was older. (i couldn’t, when i didn’t know who ‘me’ was.) so giselle felt like one of the first ones, with her autistic literalism and trust in humanity and her joy in everything.

then flash forward fifteen years and they’re continuing the story. even more amazingly, they’ve brought back the whole central cast (minus the child actor, who i assumed they replaced because New Morgan sings and dances, but i didn’t look it up or anything). idina is much more famous now thanks to her frozen work and of course amy adams is amy freaking adams now, nominated but never oscared, but they both came back. the direct-to-streaming release worried me, but i saw a trailer and the movie looked way better than i kind of expected, so i was excited after all. and as mentioned above, i settled in to watch it with my family.

^^^^and that is where this review left off, almost a year ago--because it was still so hard for me to wrap my brain and my heart around writing it. but at this point i’ve reviewed all the other movies i watched in 2022, AND i’ve watched almost 20 movies this year and reviewed most of them, and those reviews are just sitting in my drafts waiting for me to post them once i finish this. so here goes:

this movie was bad. obviously that’s a personal opinion or value judgement or whatever, but like...it was really, really bad. it bore no resemblance to the original and painfully reminded me how disney’s moviemaking these days is so soulless when it comes to trying to squeeze more money out of its existing IP. and i can handle fairy tale/princess modernizations that aren’t all that impressive (idina was in one of those as well, cinderella), but even those had parts that i liked or that were fun once i was grading on a curve for the whole movie. i can’t say the same for this one.

first of all, we’ve skipped time since the original, which makes sense, since everybody’s older. but nothing about the time progression makes sense, because offscreen fifteen years have passed, making amy adams 48 when this movie came out. giselle and robert have just had a newborn whose royal inheritance is what leads to the movie’s plot--at best, i guess we can assume amy was supposed to be playing giselle a lot younger than she, the actress, was. or maybe her andalasian genes make her immune to fertility averages?

either way, though, that still doesn’t explain morgan. who in addition to becoming literally a different person (and i hope they only replaced her because the original actress opted out, because she was so great in the first movie i’d resent disney for dumping her just to make the new one sing and dance, or whatever other justifications they might have) is a teenager now. Original Morgan was nine years old in enchanted, or the actress was, anyway. if we assume they meant for Original Morgan to be only seven or eight as a character, that still doesn’t explain a now-high-schooler morgan in this movie. it has been literally twice as many years in real time as it would have to have been in this movie world for morgan to be this age! and unfortunately for the movie, it’s mainly about adults, who have aged the fifteen years you would expect. so that’s ridiculous.

but anyway. somehow, all the adults from enchanted look fifteen years older but morgan’s a teen, and her parents have had a shiny new baby. idina’s character moved with prince james marsden to his world, and literally everyone is depressed now except prince james marsden (and presumably the baby). giselle sees a billboard and decides that’s a plausible reason to uproot her whole family from the city she fell in love with and that the others were from even before meeting her...to move to the suburbs.

at first, because of the impression i got from the trailer, i thought she would be moving to a perfect-seeming little enclave that was secretly evil, like a magical stepford or something, and that it would turn her evil and throw her family into peril. but the real plot is not that creative. it’s literally just the three of them moving to an ordinary suburb that (gasp!) doesn’t automatically fix their lives. instead, robert has a slog of a commute now, and in their own ways, giselle and morgan both struggle to fit in with their new local peers.

everything establishing this movie’s setup baffled me because it felt so random and flimsy, when the original was a beautiful sendup of classic disney tropes that managed to be subversive but still magical. i referred earlier to giselle deciding on a plausible reason, and i felt the same way about disney and this sequel: it felt like they decided this concept was a plausible reason to bring the cast back together, mix in a few new actors, and try to make money off the result (in this case by locking it inside their streaming service as though that would force new subscribers to disney+ instead of what i’m guessing actually happened, having less viewers for the movie than they would’ve gotten in theaters--cuz even i, the biggest fan of the original, wouldn’t have subscribed just to watch it).

but their ‘plausible’ setup is therefore that everybody’s feeling a bit meh in new york city. robert’s not excited about his job, morgan’s a sullen teenager, and giselle misses the days when everything felt magical and new and perfect. instead of recognizing that they have a freaking newborn, which i may not have experienced personally but have certainly heard is a difficult phase of life (especially the first time, for giselle), and that they simultaneously have a teenager, which anybody who’s ever been or met a teenager can tell you is a difficult phase of life for both the teen and their parents--heck, instead of just going to THERAPY when new york city is one of the few places it may still be easier to find access than everywhere else these days--they move to a random place where they know no one for truly no reason.

the movie wants us to believe that the reason is giselle seeing a billboard and believing its promise (or still being unusually literal?) but neither of those makes any sense because even if we had reason to believe that giselle hadn’t learned anything or grown in the last mysterious number of years and would truly treat a billboard like a promise rather than an advertisement (and i don’t think what we see of her in the sequel supports that idea) it’s still robert she’s married to now, and we know he’s always been someone who lovingly but firmly points that stuff out.

morgan’s unhappy because she’s a teenager, she doesn’t actually want to move, and as much as robert loves giselle, i don’t believe at all that he would just let her have her fantasy of a fresh start without injecting reality into the situation--so i think the real explanation is that both robert and giselle, for their own reasons, are desperate enough to try it despite knowing it won’t be a magic fix. but then idina menzel and prince james marsden (i should remember their character names but i really don’t at the moment) pop into their new, still-unhappy-just-in-a-different-time-zone, lives and make everything even worse. way to go guys!

continuing the flimsy plot setups, they’re visiting to give a gift to the new baby, to basically proclaim how special she is and make morgan feel like she’s neither special nor giselle’s ‘real’ daughter. giselle is thrilled by the gift from her childhood home and her former prince remains as hilarious as ever (the acting in this movie is good, they’re just not given as much to work with; ‘campy humor’ was the only element they could successfully recreate for some reason). but nancy is clearly already Over It, the former new yorker not exactly as enchanted with prince james marsden as she used to be now that she has to live with his personality 24/7.

you might expect this to be woven in with the central family’s ennui in some way, but you would be disappointed--that general intermittent eyerolly energy is never directly addressed and as far as we know by the end of the movie, she’s still with him. and i guess will remain so forever? because that’s the rule when you choose a fairy tale life?? even though giselle’s story was entirely about leaving fairy tales behind when they weren’t what she wanted???

maybe we’re supposed to read nancy’s reactions as like, lovable occasional annoyance at How Very Much her guy can be sometimes. but it didn’t come across that way to me; it seemed intentionally to mirror the dissatisfaction giselle and robert were struggling with. i could have been giving them too much credit there, i guess, in assuming deliberate parallels.

but the real point is that the adults were unhappy in the city, and now, in the suburbs, they’re still not very happy. after the gift-givers go back to andalasia, giselle makes a wish using her baby’s magic present, wanting to make their family into a fairy tale...and she gets her wish. morgan goes from a strugglng teen to a cheerful girl again, running around singing and eventually having to be the savior of her family. robert goes from a commuting lawyer to a wannabe monster slayer, and giselle slowly transforms into an evil stepmother--while the women in town who’ve been snubbing her turn into an actual villain with henchwomen in tow.

from then on, it only gets more ridiculous. amy adams is an immensely talented actor, and like i said, i’ve loved her since she was on tv. but she is not doing her best work here, switching between normal giselle and evil stepmother giselle in response to a chiming clock in a way that reminded me of one of those over-the-top acts where a guy hypnotizes people and then can trigger them to be a chicken or something. it was just so over the top, and lacked any of the emotional depth the original movie brought to her character that made me care.

and poor robert, it was clear, they did not know what to do with. a convoluted exchange with prince james marsden before the wish created circumstances where he was carrying a sword around on his commute. that, i’m sure, was supposed to help make it seem like it made sense for him to become a giant fighter or whatever. but really, they had a sequel to make in which he had to be there because he was her happily ever after in the first one, except now robert isn’t a love interest anymore, there’s no drama between them--and the actor was never meant to be a major contributor to the musical part of these movies, so what’s the point of his story? to run around looking for monsters, totally separate, and mostly unnecessary, it turns out.

the fairy tale transformations mean that we go from watching giselle being sad and hurt in response to morgan’s attitude to morgan’s being mistreated by her now-evil stepmother--neither of which is fun. in giselle’s intermittent ‘good’ moments, she tries to encourage morgan to be free of her and get help, and eventually morgan does end up in andalasia with nancy (she’s also a cartoon at that point, i think). nancy helps her understand what might fix things, and the fact that it’s up to their teenage daughter (whose complaints the whole time have honestly seemed the most reasonable to me compared to her parents’ vague ennui) to save not just her own family but both worlds from doom...it doesn’t seem at all fair. but okay.

the solution for making giselle good again involves morgan’s memories and singing and the idea that with the power of love it’ll all be fine, but what i remember most about it is that the scene is really just a vehicle for idina menzel to get her own song. which, duh--i was very disappointed that she didn’t sing in the original, and given the success of frozen, it would’ve been crazy for them not to showcase her more this time.

but the song she’s given? it’s so bad. so very bad. the others i was watching this movie with spent a significant portion of the song time mocking it, and i couldn’t blame them. at a certain point, it just devolves into idina belting the words ‘love power’ over and over and over. you know how some words or phrases become completely meaningless if you say them too much? this definitely felt like that, like the big drama’s ‘solution’ was flimsy to begin with, and then they forced a song into it that wasn’t even a good song, and got idina to sing it. she’s so much better than that! it genuinely made me wonder if she has some kind of disney contract that left her stuck dealing with this.

somehow thanks to morgan, though, giselle does stop being evil by the end--i don’t remember exactly how that scene plays out so i doubt it matters too much--and ending the sort of wish curse she inflicted on everybody means they go back to living in a normal suburb. the woman who briefly became her villain nemesis apologizes in a ‘sometimes i’m a lot oops’ way, and giselle is just like ‘hey, me too, no big deal.’

and this brings me to my two biggest problems with the movie, outside of how much it felt like it was trying to destroy any love i still held for the original.

this movie has no real villain. unlike the first one, where susan sarandon was camping it up in a delightfully appropriate way, and was defeated in the end...this movie falls into the same hole that so many New Disney Movies are determined to, for unknown reasons. we can’t have classic straight-up evil anymore; our heroes have to instead be facing antagonists that are less specific or even less corporeal. it’s family! who of course will no longer be in conflict by the end, and don’t actually need to be ‘defeated.’ or it’s emotions! and once they can be accepted rather than avoided then things will be okay again.

i’m not saying that’s a bad thing, in general. i love encanto, and i thought turning red and inside out were great. but when you’re dealing with a now-franchise whose original style was to reference and gently mock and lovingly rework classic disney tropes...why would you toss that out completely and make a sequel that feels like the other movies disney makes now? why can’t people appreciate that beloved movies are beloved for a reason and you can’t just slap the ‘brand name’ on whatever you want and act like it’s just as good?

but yeah. this movie decided to have no villain by way of having two villains, both of whom were only temporarily villainous due to indirect magic and who became normal again once it stopped. they bear no real responsibility for being villains, because after all, they aren’t really. post-movie, it seems like they may even become friends! all’s well that ends well.

which really annoyed me, lol, because it felt so incredibly pointless once i knew that was how it ended. our main character accidentally makes herself evil, makes somebody else evil, has to be saved from being evil while fighting the other evil, and the grand conclusion is that they just finish back where they started? how is that a story that moves forward, let alone a good story with some kind of point or even just a good-versus-evil win, fairy tale style?

it’s like the main conflict of the movie is created by them having problems, but then the problems they were having...are solved because they’re no longer in conflict. which brings me to my second issue with the movie’s ending: apparently the ultimate lesson of this follow up to enchanted is that growing up means learning to settle, rather than believing in happily ever afters.

despite the cheerful singing at the end of the movie that tries to make us believe it’s just as great an ending as enchanted got, i was so underwhelmed and disappointed and tbh freaked out, that they reached that conclusion. the story we were given was giselle and robert and morgan are a family now just like they wanted but they’re all unhappy, so they move out of the city to seek happiness elsewhere. and it fixes nothing which instead spirals giselle into cursing the town but in the end everybody’s okay and there are no consequences and nobody’s mad at giselle cuz she didn’t mean to do it...so she and robert and morgan commit to trying even harder to be happy in their new suburban life.

and all i can wonder is, why is that the lesson? why is that the right place to end up? why couldn’t they go back to the city and figure out their problems there, since clearly suburbia wasn’t a fix on its own? there didn’t seem to be a real reason for requiring giselle, who loved the sparkly harsh city she landed in years ago, to become a suburban mom--or for uprooting morgan, or making robert become a ‘small town practice’ kind of guy.

i guess what grates on me about it is that it has such a hallmark christmas movie vibe of just assuming their real happy ending would naturally be escaping the city, no matter how central it was to their original story and lives. whatever their deeper issues were that made them unhappy in the city, they haven’t addressed those by the end of the movie; they’ve just somewhat improved the issues that moving TO this new place piled on.

therefore my logical brain goes, you were unhappy and tried to fix it by moving but that only made things worse. why wouldn’t you reverse the making-it-worse part by going back, and then continue trying to figure out how to fix it? i just don’t get it. and i may be kind of offended by it, because the giselle who i have always adored is a completely different person in this movie, and not because of some wish curse.

she’s older, and sad, and it’s like nothing about her life is fun anymore...and maybe there could’ve been a way to craft an interesting story out of that, though i don’t know what it would be off the top of my head. but we don’t get whatever that could’ve been. and we don’t get a sequel about our faves from enchanted having more hijinks and having a to fight a new tropey villain, in the style of the first one. what we get is a story about everybody from the first one not liking their lives and having to fight the fallout from that and then concluding that hey, at least the world didn’t end so they must be better off than they thought, time to make the best of it. it deeply depressed me.

and look--i’m not saying i demand happy endings always. i don’t even require happy endings mostly! but unless there is some requirement i’m not aware of that post-pandemic we are no longer allowed happy endings at all, this was not the movie world to bring back just to say ‘the best you can hope for is meh. good luck.’ giselle and everybody else deserved better.

i will say that there was one thing about this movie that i liked. exactly one thing, sadly, or at least only one i clearly remember. i was really excited about the casting before this came out, because i love jayma mays, and maya rudolph is reliably good always. once i actually saw the movie, i was bummed that jayma mays and the other henchwoman didn’t have roles worth including, but maya rudolph was as good as i expected.

and since this movie was such a mess, she also just really stood out. she’s a ‘can do it all’ kind of performer, in a way that makes it look easy, and i feel like that’s the difference between amy adam’s background in a lot of dramatic roles and maya rudolph’s background in snl. they’re both super talented and both have range, but are a good fit for different things because of that.

so there is one song in this movie and one performance (cuz it’s the performance of it that makes it good) that i genuinely enjoyed. it’s basically a face off between the two not-actually-villains, kind of like ‘anything you can do i can do better’ but sillier and maximum camp. it’s the only part where it felt like that was what the movie was deliberately aiming for, and both actresses are fully going for it while sometimes we’re watching them parallel on splitscreen...it was ridiculous but in an entertaining rather than cringe-inducing way.

so that part is great, but also highlights even more what this movie could have been. if only they had let maya rudolph be a proper villain, the leader of a trio of new antagonists for our faves to face, that would’ve been potentially a great movie. she could have gone evil after getting her hands on the baby’s wand, then gone down fighting after the family consulted with their andalasian friends on how to deal with magically corrupted humans. the ending could have been more interesting with bigger stakes than ‘everyone survives and decides to play nice.’

heck, i could write that version of that movie! lol. but i won’t. because it would probably necessitate rewatching disenchanted and that is something i never ever want to do. that was a piece of my heart you fucked with, you jerks. and i’m gonna stay mad.

#disenchanted #rant #amy adams #idina menzel #patrick dempsey #james marsden #susan sarandon #actuallylukedanes #actually autistic #autistic #jayma mays #maya rudolph #negativity #enchanted #2022 motw #my formative years

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