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ghooostbaby · 3 years

Text

Reading the MDZS novel

A high octane journey through the final extras chapter

• ahh LWJ and WWX role playing they've never met before?!

• Lan WangJi, sir, I frankly cannot believe that you, an educator, are lying to children about math

• I got very excited when I first thought this was in Gusu Lan sect, and that they hang out with the little kids there! Logically if they teach the juniors as teens they MUST also teach younger kids and I just want to see it!!!!

• Ahhhhh wei ying feeding Lan Zhan things ... just all of it

• wwx sticking a sweet thing into his mouth and lwj just letting it stay there, and then wwx is like do you like it? And how lwj says nothing. And how wwx says I'll take back if you don't say if you want it! So lwj bites it (oh how he loves to bite what we wants)

• Honestly its one of the most romantic things in my opinion, that knowing lwj has trouble saying what he wants, wwx doesn't try to fix him, and just playfully gives him snacks to try, while teasing him

• The two of them just sauntering around a market together omg the domesticity im MELTING

• "When [Lan WangJi] finished [the snacks], Wei WuXian would always ask, 'How was it? How was it?' Sometimes Lan WangJi replied 'fine', while other times he replied 'excellent', yet more of than not, he would reply 'strange'. Whenever that happen Wei WuXian would laugh and take it, not letting him have any more." AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

• Lan WangJi being the baby oh my heart!

• Lan WangJi sneaking off to secretly learn to cook Wei WuXian's favourite soup for him it hurts

• Wei WuXian: you're a virgin who can't cook

• Lan WangJi: *is silent*

• 1 minute later

• Wei WuXian: plzzzzzz hanguang jun cook for Meeeee

• Love how they bully each other. Love how wwx has no poker face. Love lwj loving to win and being all big and good and getting kissed. Love wwx loving losing to lwj and being all small and bad in his lap.

• Also wwx calling lwj "my dear" (as the translation goes) !!!!

• OK there's just too many little back and forths that I am HOWLING over! WWX begging to be cooked for about to jump in his lap! lwj then correcting his posture!!! The "Er-Gege you can't treat me like this"!!!! And then finally holding wwx's hand and saying he cooked for him already!!!!

• But also hasn't it been months?? Atleast?! What have they been eating all this time?

• Wei Ying!!! No sex in the restaurant!

• Ohhh WWX being serious and he's just so earnestly overjoyed that his husband is a good cook fuck they're sweet

• Ahhhhh smile lan zhan, smile! It would send your wei ying through the roof

• Oh nooooo now they're playing a CARNIVAL GAME?!?! I am dead. They're winning toys for each other ahhhhhhhh help me

• Lan WangJi repeated, "Whatever it lands on is mine." We all know what you're thinking you possessive bitch

• Yeeeeeee forehead ribbon tugging in public. Who belongs to who now?!

• "I want whichever one you get." Oh lwj and your beautiful pure heart

• Ahahahahaha "Look at you. What are you doing in front of all these people?" Lan WangJi, "What?" Wei WuXian, "You're flirting with me." Lan WangJi's expression was calm, "I am not."

• The gentle teasing, the deep familiarity, the sense that they are that old married couple at the farmers market so in love after 100 years oh my god

• Ahhhh if wei wuxian can throw from that far away that must mean he developed mo xuanyu's golden core this is too much goodness

• "The jinshi is a peaceful place only for playing the guqin and burning incense"!?! Wei WuXian I've read about many other things occurring there ...

• Aghhh you never see LWJ as a normal teacher so the image of hanguang jun standing up at the front of a normal classroom as the juniors file into their desks ... "good morning class" ... with the new souvenir their teacher's husband got for him on their recent romantic getaway on display

• Honestly these two being teachers is the sweetest thing. Imagine having this hot gay magical power couple be your teachers.

• Ohhh they're actually in lotus pier!? Ugh my heart

• so adorable and dramatic lwj! wwx: "don't tip the boat sweetie." lwj: "do not worry. I can save you if you fall."

• "Yes! We can come again." Ugh these two. So gorgeous

• The way wwx reacts to lwj's smiles ... they are so so so in love (and the fact that Lan Zhan smiled at Wei Ying saying he wanted to trick him into getting beaten by the angry lotus farmer!)

• Oh Lord!!!! The serenity of lwj when they've fallen in the water, and he takes the blame for tipping the boat, so then wwx takes the blame, and they laugh and kiss!!!! SO. IN. LOVE. I am so happy for these sweet little lambs

• "Back then, all I really wanted was to play with you." Ajhh wwx you're going to end me.

• LWJ just scooping him up and putting him back in the boat, its too much!!

• Did lwj retrieve wwx's hair ribbon from the water or does he just keep a supply of red ribbons incase wwx needs one?!

• Oh no LWJ now you've DEFINITELY killed me: "you can try now to see if I would reject you over anything."

• And then wwx's reaction "please warn me before you say anything so romantic, or else i won't be able to take it." ahaaaaa you little shit. But honestly SAME

• And then lwj's little "ok" !!!! Imagine that he takes this seriously and from then on periodically says, "Wei Ying, I'm about to say something really romantic." And Wei Ying takes his hand and says, "OK, I'm ready Lan Zhan."

• So glad they get to have endless laughter and hugs now. My sweet darlings, you deserve it

• They really are so perfect

I love them so much

#this chapter killed me #now to start the novel again to actually read it in order and for the plot ahaha #mdzs #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian

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b00t-s · 3 years

Text

We're all gossip-y bitches sometimes

this is part two

Janus xey/xem

Roman she/he

Patton he/him

Virgil he/him

See the character intros for more info

TW. Swearing, arguments, alcohol, drunk characters, the word v//mit is used once, characters being characters, past trauma mentioned, tiny tiny tiny sprinkle of angst but just a passing of it at end, and nothing to intense

Again, tell me if I'm being insensitive. Shout at me if I am.

Summary: Patton goes to talk to Janus about Roman. The group opens...'some' bottles. Virgil adds on some...interesting opinions.

Events occur few hours after this.

Janus just finished xeir nightly shift when Patton came bounding up to xem. Janus raised an eyebrow at how ecstatic he looked.

"Yes?" Xey managed out, forcing back the hundreds of snarky comments xey could of said right then.

"Can you hang out at My house later?" Patton practically beamed out.

"why would I want to 'hang out'? It's just a social construct created to give people a higher sense of being." Janus remarked, flipping to closed/open side to closed.

"So you'll be there?"

"hmm. Will doom-and-gloom be there?

"doom and---ohhh, Virge. Yeah, probably," Patton realised now that this was a bad mix of people to invite "probably-probably not for long though!"

"Fine" Janus replied, taking off xeir apron. Xey ignored the obvious lie. "I'll be there in an hour." Xey knew one way or another xey would end up there due to Patton's... effective persuading.

"Great!" Patton exclaimed "oh yeah, and...um...it's raining outside so..take my umbrella, kay?"

His tone more serious all of a sudden, Patton nodded to Janus' heavily made up face, so well done an ignorant bystander wouldn't of noticed the thick layers of foundation on xeir face.

Patton handed xem a translucent umbrella, patterned with cute frogs and flowers, to Janus. Ignoring the distasteful cartoons, Janus nodded and took the umbrella.

"See you soon, Jan!" Patton cheerily waved as he bounced off.

Janus folded xeir apron, opened Patton's umbrella and braved the outdoors.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janus arrived at Patton's house exactly on time, bone dry, despite the heavily flowing rain. Patton expected nothing less of his friend. He invited xem inside, amazed as always by his friend's everyday fashion.

Jan was wearing a casual yellow shirt over a long sleeved black shirt. Fishnet gloves adorned xeir hands, and xeir ruffled hair was let lose.

Xeir fashionably messy hair was topped with a neatly placed black fedora, which of xey never took off. Xey even scarred persuaded Thomas to let xem wear it to work.

Patton offered xem a smile, and walked xem upstairs. "Hi Jan!" He grinned.

"Hello" xey replied mundanely.

Xey absent-mindedly glanced at Patton's outfit, which contained a violet cashmere sweater, bell bottomed jeans, circular silver glasses and a sunflower clip in his perfect curls.

It was a good look, xey had to admit.

When they both reached Patton's room, Janus stood still, taking in xeir surroundings.

Patton's room was covered with things from the 2000's; Tamagotchi's, stickers pressed up against the pastel wall, stuffed animals, wristbands, old CD's, care bears posters and butterfly clips littering the floor in a deadly trap.

A trans flag was pinned above the single bed with blue tack, right next to some inspirational and motivational quotes.

The whole place looked like it had been puked on by unicorns.

It hurt Janus' eyes.

Xey was a little overwhelmed by all the spiraling colours and nostalgia-inducing objects, so xey sat cross-legged in the middle of the pink carpet. The world slowed down.

Janus wondered, not for the first time, how a 29 year old could be this cheerful.

Or appear this cheerful.

"Jan?"

Janus gave a small twitch of xeir head, realising that xey had spaced out. "Hmm?" Xey replied.

"Hey, you were up with the clouds! I was just saying, I think Virge is here" Patton chirped.

"oh"

"he...might be staying for a little longer then i said"

"How wonderful." Janus muttered, knowing this would happen but hating it anyway.

"oh, don't be like that! I'm sure you guys could become friends!" Janus snorted. "Or...at least not kill at each other whenever you're in the same general area" Patton corrected.

"Anyway! I'm going to greet him at the door!" He suddenly proclaimed, skipping downstairs.

Janus was disgusted at how naïve this man was.

But that was a lie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patton slowed his happy skip to a casual walk. His grin slipped into a content smile as he reached the end of the stairs. Being so happy takes its toll on people, he thought. Soft tapping of the door interrupted his thoughts as he opened the door to reveal Virgil.

The first thing you notice about this man was his unfair tall-ness. He nearly had to duck to get inside; being too skinny didn't help. Virgil was wearing a plain black hoodie over a mcr top, completing the look with a short, pleated skirt and docs. His face was slathered in white foundation, accompanied with dark eyeshadow under his eyes.

"Virge!! I'm glad you could make it, even if you are late!!Again!" Patton hugged his friend, genuinely glad for his presence. The taller man patted Patton's curls awkwardly.

"Heyyyy Pat-" Virgil did the awkward pats on the back everyone does when they want to get out of a hug but don't want to say it in fear of hurting ones feelings. "Traffic-"

Patton withdrew from the hug and smiled. "okay! at least you're here safe! Can't control the traffic"

"Janus is waiting for us upstairs" Patton continued. He hurriedly carried on speaking before Virgil could spit out an insult about xem "say, you know what I hate about stairs? They're always up to something!" Patton laughed at his own joke, whilst Virgil pretended to face-palm, hiding a snigger.

"Alright, Alright dAd, didn't you say snake face was waiting for us?" Virgil mocked. Patton chuckled uncomfortably at the nickname, but nodded nonetheless.

"Yeah, we shouldn't leave xem waiting"

They both entered his room, having walked the short journey there in a comfortable silence. Patton noted Janus had not moved from were he left xem; xey had just shifted to read a book xey most likely found lying around. Janus looked up upon their arrival, xeir face immediately twisting into a mocking grimace upon seeing Virgil. "ah, you brought the racoon"

"Janus play nice--"

"you're one to talk, you participated in 2012 Tumblr" Virgil threw back

"must you be so wounding" Janus dramatically threw xeir hand against xeir forehead.

"okAY, that's enough guys." Patton firmly said. Janus pulled a face in reply, and Virgil returned the favour. Patton sighed. He just wanted them to get along, which was probably a high expectation by itself.

Perhaps he had booze leftover somewhere.

--------------------------------

Twelve near fist fights, two crying sessions and many, many, many bottles of alcohol later, it was nearing eleven pm and the group was drunker than a litter of catnip high kittens.

They all crowded into a close-knit circle on the bed, nearly falling off but not caring.

"ssso your telling me that flashy asss hhimbo sssssaid I wasss hot but then rude and that I wore too muchh makeup? What a *hic* bitchh" Janus hissed.

Patton giggled. "yeeeeee, be nice though! She was kindaaaa alllllllll over the place!" Patton continued bluntly, "But how would you feel if I set you guys up????~"

"oh pleassssse do, I would just love that" Janus may be trashed but xey still knew sarcasm. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending who you are, Patton did not.

"yayyy! This is gonna be great!!"

Virgil butted in then, waving around the bottle he was holding "hold on, just holllld on a minute there, you're planning to set up that" he vaugly gestured in Janus' direction "with Princy??? Xey've known her for what, 4 minutes? Life isn't a disney movie"

"Dare I detect a hint of jealousy there emo?" Janus purred "am I that lovable?" Xey hiccuped.

"ooooooooh" Patton leaned into the circle, loving the drunk drama.

"wouldn't you like to know weather boy" Virgil droned back, finishing off the bottle.

"Honey, I would dare ssay that was a yesss"

"nO"

"oooooo, you liiiiike meeeEe"

"you disgust me"

"kinky"

Patton shook his hands excitingly at them, nearly hitting Virgil, causing them to shut up. "I can't believe you're finally open to a relationship after what happened! With my best friend no least! Boy did I try to get you to go on more dat--" Patton suddenly clasped his hands over his mouth as if he just said something nasty.

Everyone went silent. Janus stared at Patron, xeir mouth slightly parted. Virgil laughed nervously to try and break the tension. It sounded strained.

Janus began to speak to stop Patton from starting to spout drunken apologies. "Well thatssss jusst a liee, I've dated pleeenty of people over..well...that...period..of time."

Everyone went silent again, not quite sure on what to say.

Virgil's anxiety was heightening due to the social awkwardness and the influence of the alcohol.

Patton was fidgeting in his lap.

It was Janus yet again who broke the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"Sssso, *hic* you ssaid you wanted me to go out with thisss idiot?"

----------------------------------

first-previous-next

updated masterpost

tag list: @arrowthenon-binaryroyalty, @spellingwillbethedeathofme,

ask if you want to be added or removed from tag list

and we meet our boi virgil

context is for losers

i could of probably cut out unnecessary things in that but y'know I'm new and I like it

these posts will be in chronological order, unless flashback, but it's not following a set-in-stone story line, so asks are, yet again, much appreciated.

I procrastinated too much during the making of this

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #janus sanders #genderfluid!janus #patton sanders #trans!patton #virgil sanders #alcohol mention #Janus what have you agreed to #hiss hiss bitch #this story is all over the place plz #roceit #platonic moxiety #This won't and never will be a moxiety fic I'm sorry #their father ans son relashionship #no hate on the ones who do ship it #it just isn't my cup of tea #Ok-ish

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mythrilhusk · 3 years

Text

Korosensei Never Dies - Chapter 6

Words - 1967 Ao3 Version Chapter 5 (last) Chapter 7 (Next)

AN: Just wanted to note (although it’s already in tags) that there are no ships in this story. The characters may be affectionate with each other, but it’s all platonic.

====

Exams are the worst part of school, but the end of the first term approaches fast. Tommy determines he will not fail. Philza has promised to teach them how to fight, and by the ever-loving stars, Tommy wants to show off his mad skillz.

He's so intent on getting fighting lessons that he's dragged his friends into group study sessions. Wilbur insists on leading said sessions, and somehow the schoolwork gets entwined with role-playing battles with fiercesome monsters.

"The answer is forty-two!! I pull out a bazooka and blast everything to smithereens!" Tubbo cackles. "Nothing shall stand in the way of world domination."

"Tubbo," Wilbur sighs for the fortieth time. "That would kill all of your teammates."

"Do I care?" Tubbo grins innocently. "Less competition, big man!"

"I lay down and die." Ranboo says drily, leaning against the wall with his arm around Tubbo's shoulders.

"Not you, Ranboo, you're going to be my puppet queen. Every world-dominating super-villain needs a puppet queen." Tubbo says, quite matter-of-fact.

Tommy scrawls messily on his workbook, determined to complete the next answer first and get a turn. "Ha! Fucking x equals twenty-nine!" He crows. "I shoot my nets at Tubbo and capture him!!"

"Stand-off." Wilbur says with a grin. "Who wrote Frankenstein?"

"Some woman with a boring name." Tommy retorts.

"Anne Rice!" Tubbo cries.

"Tommy, you got the closer answer. It was Mary Shelley."

"Alright, I win, and I say 'Hahaha, you fucking imbecile, you are no match for me!' and then I drag them to jail."

"I completed my worksheet, Wilbur." Eret pipes up. Wilbur takes it, then nods for Eret to complete his bonus action. "I stab Tommy and release Tubbo, saying, 'The world is yours for the taking, but allow me to oversee a portion of it.' and then I kneel and plant my sword in the dust."

"Oh! Oh!" Tubbo waves his worksheet in the air. "Ranboo, stab him for me!"

"As you wish." Ranboo sighs with a wicked grin. Eret protests weakly in the background.

"Ranboo, you need to answer a question correctly, first." Wilbur steeples his fingers. "Or else there will be penalties."

"I, uh, I think I got this one correct." Ranboo shows his study sheet to Wilbur, who nods curtly.

"Fine, go ahead."

Ranboo turns to Eret and says in a dark tone, "You betrayed your friend. I can't trust you, Eret." Then he turns to Wilbur, "I run him through with my dagger."

"Eret, you're now a ghost." Wilbur shuffles through his game notes.

"Aw, man. Can I haunt anyone?"

"Yes."

"I haunt Ranboo to remind him of his crimes."

"Aw, dang, another voice." Ranboo groans playfully.

"Whaddya mean, another??" Tubbo cries. "Am I being replaced, Ranboo??"

"You- you are the voice." Ranboo laughs nervously. "Even when you're dead, I'll still hear you, shouting at me to not kill the bees."

"You better not. I worked hard to cultivate our apiary."

"I won't, I won't."

Tommy finishes his worksheet, ignoring the chatter of the others. "Ha!" He turns it into a paper plane and throws it to Wilbur. "I want twelve actions now!"

"Okay, Tommy." Wilbur replies with a sly smile. The others protest, but Tommy has Wilbur wrapped around his little finger, so they won't be winning this battle.

"But! I want to split them up between us, because I'm a fucking nice person who loves women."

"Go ahead."

"My first action as King de facto of the world is to declare peace between the Moon and Mars."

"Wait, wait, you're king?? Eret, you didn't even kill him properly!!" Tubbo throws up his hands. "Ranboo, kill Tommy for me."

"Hypothetically, what if I didn't?"

"Ranboo. Are you betraying me??"

"No, no, I said hypothetically."

"Then, hypothetically, I would nuke your entire homeland and make you watch as I killed your family before your very eyes."

"Oh! Oh, no."

"And then I would torture you to death."

"Oh, man. That would not be good."

"So are you going to betray me?"

"Apparently not."

"Aw, man. I wanted to torture somebody." Tubbo sighs.

Ranboo gives Tommy a look that says 'help me'.

"You both lost your turns for talking too long." Wilbur decides. "Tommy and Eret, you both have an extra turn."

"I turn corporeal using necromancy, and I use Tubbo's soul as the energy source, draining him of life." Eret says, his cheerful eyes belying his dark tone.

"No! Ranboo, avenge meeeee!!" Tubbo cries melodramatically to the heavens.

"Oh no! I'll avenge you!!"

"I kill Ranboo." Tommy cackles at the horrified look on Ranboo's face.

"Oh, that's not good."

"How do you kill him, Tommy?" Wilbur asks.

"I stab the bastard through the fucking eyes."

"Oh. Man. That sounds painful." Ranboo winces.

"It is. You're screaming like a fucking bitch."

"Am I? Oh dang, that's not fun. Am I a ghost now?"

"Ghostboo." Tubbo laughs. "You're now Ghostboo."

"You're Toast, you don't get to mock my name."

Tommy frowns. "What's my ghost name?"

"Ghommy." Ranboo laughs. "Eret is Gheret."

"Tommy, you think we're ready for the exams?" Wilbur gathers the papers scattered across the floor.

"Fuck yeah, we are. We'll crush those bastards to dust. We'll get the highest grades of anybody in the entire school!"

++++

"What do you mean, you can't transfer me?? My grades are the worst they've ever been in years!!" Jack cries, stomping his foot on the polished wood floor of the principal's office.

"I'm sorry, duckie, but I can't let anyone transfer between classes this year." Puffy-- rumored to be a pirate in a past life and therefore always called Captain-- frowns as she flicks through Jack's portfolio. "Why did you want to be transferred, anyway?"

"No reason." Jack grumbles, then stomps out of the office, slamming the door behind himself.

"How'd it go?" Niki hops down from one of the pillars.

"Terribly. Those bastards in 3-E must've told Captain Puffy to not let anyone in. They're probably planning to take over the world now, using Techno as bait!" Jack cries, his eyes burning with furious tears.

"That's awful!" Niki wails. "What will we do?"

"What do heroes do to villains? We bomb them."

"Bomb them?"

"I don't know how yet." Jack grins, filled with burning rage. "But we'll think of something."

"I know a man." Niki says decisively. "He'll get us supplies. If they really are planning to end the world, we need to stop them."

++++

Exams roll around, and 3-E joins the the main school buildings for the tests. Quackity and Sapnap both leap on and hug Karl Jacobs. Tommy strides through the testing auditorium like he owns the place, with Wilbur glaring at everyone and Tubbo whetting his dagger with a placid smile.

Fundy watches the chaos from the sidelines, chewing on caramel taffy and bubblegum at the same time. He doesn't recognize the quiet boy huddled in a corner and writing. Before he can creep over and look at the boy's words, Eret accosts him. "Hey, man."

"Oh, hey!" Fundy grins and hugs his friend. "What've you been up to?"

"Oh, just trying to stop the world from ending and make a profit in the process, you know, the usual."

"Right, right. What's up with that, anyway? This guy, Technoblade? He must be really hard to kill if nobody's done it yet."

"We have till the year ends." Eret says gravely.

"Right. But why hasn't anybody, I don't know, tried to get in on the action?"

"The government is supposed to be keeping his location a secret." Eret adjusts his sunglasses.

"Weird." Fundy pops a bubble between his lips.

"Indeed. I know there must be a weakness. But I'm not sure what it is."

"Maybe it's something like technical immortality! Maybe he can only be killed if he lets it happen!" Fundy theorizes, chewing more intensely.

Eret grimaces. "Perhaps. Threatening his friend, Philza, directly is out of the question. But perhaps we can get the kill switch from the president."

"Woah, woah, back up!" Fundy laughs. "There's already a kill switch in his friend and the prezz hasn't thought to use that??"

"Well, he's a hostage, but- oh."

"Exactly!! If the prezz actually wanted him dead, all they'd have to do is threaten to kill this Philza dude if Techno doesn't let himself be killed!" Fundy blows another bubble and pops it with his teeth. "Damn, I'm good."

"That's assuming Technoblade would die if he allowed it. What if he can't?" Eret muses.

"He has to have some weakness. How was he even created??"

"I- I don't know."

"The only way a mutant like that could be created is through Human intervention, aka a laboratory and scientists!!" Fundy claps his hands together excitedly. "But why would scientists create a creature who can destroy the world?? Unless he can't, and this is all just a damn test."

"Hmm." Eret doesn't sound convinced.

"So, they're trying to develop immortality, and they're testing it on Technoblade-"

"Why him?" Eret asks. "And if it is a test, why here, with a bunch of students?"

"He got loose before the tests could be finalized, and they're trying to contain him again!" Fundy starts pacing. "He was a terrorist, yeah? I remember him in the news. The Acolyte."

"Blood for the blood god." Eret reminisces, paling. "That's right."

"He only ever went after important government figures! But, five years ago, he disappeared, and nobody ever heard from him again. Until now..." Fundy grins wildly. "This is amazing, I can't believe I get front row seats to a conspiracy!"

"Wait." Eret groans. "He had a partner."

"Oh! He did?"

"Technoblade was the Acolyte. But his partner was the Angel. What if that was-"

"Philza!!" Fundy cries. "Oh god, we have both of the most deadly international terrorists in my school!! Why couldn't I have worn better clothes??"

"I don't think that should be our main concern." Eret steeples his fingers. "I think we should worry more about what they're planning to do."

"I'm going to talk to Captain Puffy." Fundy decides. "Come with me?"

"I'll pass. Good luck."

"I've got the best luck in the world." Fundy crows and skips off. He glances back once, briefly, only to see Eret watching him with an unreadable expression.

++++

Tipsy, Schlatt lounges on one of the pristine metal tables. In the background, HBomb sweeps up the shards of a broken whiskey bottle, the remnants of a drunken tantrum.

"Heyyy." Schlatt greets the mercenary waiting in the doorway. "Come on in."

"How much do I get paid for my trouble?" The mercenary asks, slouching in a too-large purple hoodie and baggy pants.

"Fifteen billion, take it or leave it." Schlatt grins.

"I'll take it. But this is the last time."

"Sure, honey."

"How'd you lose him again?"

"Bitch killed half my fucking scientists." Schlatt shrugs genially, hiding his irritation. "But we've got a neutralizing agent, now." He tosses a capsule to the mercenary, who catches it and inspects it. "Inject that and he'll be as harmless as a two-ton hippo."

"That's hardly what I'd call harmless."

"Eh, semantics. He won't be immortal."

"Hmm." The mercenary pockets the neutralizer. "I'll do it. But you'd better pay me exactly what you promised, or he dies."

"C'mon, darling, what do you take me for? A scam artist?? Nah, that's not my fucking style. Return him safe and sound, and everything will be just fine." Schlatt lights a cigar, takes a deep drag, then lets it all out in a slow plume. "Do as I say and nobody gets hurt."

++++

Eret opens his buzzing phone and answers, "Hey."

"Crocodiles don't cry often." The familiar voice says coldly into their ear.

"Crocodile tears are worthless." Eret replies.

Purpled laughs on the other end. "What do you say, partner? Ready to make some dough?"

Eret grins, baring her teeth. "Always."

Chapter 7 (Next)

#eret #purpled #ranboo #tubbo #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #fundy #jack manifold #niki nihachu #no ship #fanfiction #dream smp au #dream smp #assassination classroom crossover #tw violence #tw threats #not rpf

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r3b3lgrrrrrrrl · 5 years

Text

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 29)

"Hades&Persephone"

@lovemythsworld

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

"Kitten.... Kitten" Colson gently wakes Luna.

"Nooooo...." She whines "I just wanna sleep." She starts to pout.

"I know, Kitten" he coaxes her gently. "Here." He puts her sunglasses in her hand.

"You're a wise man..." She continues to whine.

"Thank you. Here, sit up, I have water for you too." He puts the bottle in her hands.

She does what he says, begrudgingly. "Why am I uppppp" she whines again, after sipping the water, throwing herself back onto the bed. "AHHHHH!!" She yells out. Grabbing her shoulder.

"That's why. I got The Doc downstairs, he needs to check you out." He's trying to get her out of bed.

"Steph checked meeeee..." She argues.

"Did Steph give you antibiotics?" He asks firmly.

"No." She says quietly.

"C'mon then, Kitten." He's afraid to man-handle her because of her shoulder so he just scoops her up. Carrying her down the stairs in a white T and black panties. Luna doesn't even give a fuck.

------------------------------------------------

Ashley's in the kitchen with The Dr as Colson carries Luna in, sunglasses and all. Ashley laughs loudly. "THIS Bitch." She says to Colson.

He sets Luna down. "I know." He says shaking his head and laughing. "It's the only way I could get her out of bed."

"Drink this." Ashley sets a large glass of seltzer and lemon beside her friend.

The Dr is setting things up moving around Luna.

"You're AMAZING..." Luna moans taking a large drink.

"I know..." Says Ashley with sass.

The Dr finally speaks "Ok, Miss Smith. Let's take a look, you mind taking your shirt off for me?"

She looks at Ashley. "I don't have a bra." She says flatly. Ashley snaps her fingers, pulling an unwilling Luna off the table into the hall. Where she magically produces a black sports bra. "You are amazing."

"I told you, I KNOW." Both girls laugh.

Luna changes and gets back on the table. As The Dr looks at her wound, Colson stares at her barely clothed body, feeling his dick grow. He doesn't want to look at her shoulder. It makes him think of Jackson and all that does is piss him off.

The Dr confirms it was a through and through but continues to tell Luna that she's lucky it didn't hit the brachial artery or plexus. Trying not to roll her eyes, she's pissed about all the probable damage to her tattoos. He writes her a script for 2 antibiotics and 30s. She thanks him for his time and discretion. As Colson walks him to the door, Luna whispers "What the fuck??" To Ashley as she lays back on kitchen table. Wincing when the wound hits it.

"Seeee..." Laughs Ashley. "Stop acting like an Asshole." She sits at the table over top of Luna. "YOU'RE really fucking lucky Jax was there." She says looking down at her.

"I was really fucking lucky he gave me a gun." She snaps back. Instantly sorry.

"I don't give a fuck HOW you were lucky. YOU WERE FUCKING LUCKY. I know you're gonna do what you do, Loons, but you gotta be more careful. I get this whole deportation thing and that the kid lost a dad but I'm sure the mom would agree, that you dying to save some stuffed animal, would fuck the kid up more than losing it."

"I know....." Luna sighs. "I'll be more careful, MOM." She says with a smile.

--------------------------------------------------

"FUCKING GET HER, ASH!" Colson thinks hearing the girls after he lets The Dr out.

--------------------------------------------------

Colson strolls back into the kitchen. Leans over Luna and kisses her. "Wanna do something fun tonight?" He asks.

"Not really, but you know." She shrugs one shoulder, still laying on the table.

"Pete's playing a show in Burbank. I lost a bet to him and I have to do a minute set."

"On stage?" Ashley asks.

"Yeah, Dude." Colson grins.

"Dom and I are THERE, Kells!" She exclaims.

"Greeeeat..." Colson looks at her and they both laugh.

Luna's still laying on the table. "What bet did you lose?" She asks Colson.

"That I couldn't keep my shirt on at his birthday party last year." He laughs.

"Waaait.... You were at his 29th? I was there too. I wonder why we didn't meet then." She says sitting up. She and Colson look at each other inquisitivly.

Ashley breaks their thoughts "Because you were only there for like a minute, Loons. You literally popped in to give him his gift and birthday love. Remember?

"Oh, yeeahhh..." Luna drifts off, thinking back to that night.

"So, wanna go, Kitten?" Colson asks her.

"Uh, yeah, Bunny. Of course. Ash, you're coming?" She asks.

"Mhm." She nods her head.

"What time's the show?" She asks Colson.

"I gotta be there by 930P."

"You guys wanna do dinner? I've been wanting to hit Toca Madera..." Luna asks.

"Yaaaaas Girl!!! Mexican all day!" Ashley hoots. Luna looks up at Colson who nods in agreeance.

"Alright, I'll pack a bag and shower at your house?" She asks Colson pulling the white T back on.

"Yup." Colson agrees, sad to watch her body disappear.

"Ashhhh...? Do me a favor, please?"

"What, Buddy?"

"If I run a load, will you throw my clothes in the dryer after?"

"No prob." Ashley agrees as Luna heads towards the stairs.

Colson leans into Luna's ear, following her up them "Mexican, hunh? I guess that means no butt sex tonight?" Poking her in the ass with his finger.

"Get the fuck away from me, You Weirdo!" She shrieks, laughing while running up the steps. "We don't do butt stuff!!" She shouts over her shoulder, making him laugh.

--------------------------------------------

Back in her room Luna dumps her leather travel bag all over the floor as Colson lights a joint. She makes a pile of clothes she wants to wash. He passes her the joint. Finding new to restock her bag, she comes across her leather. There's a solid hole through the left side. Luna passes back the joint and digs through a make-up bag, pulling out a bunch of safety pins. A few minutes later she displays it. "Fixed." She laughs as she continues to pack. Colson smiles lightly, hating the jacket now and how that hole almost took Luna from him.

"She loves that fucking jacket. She's never gonna give it up." He thinks sighing to himself.

Once back from starting a load of laundry, Luna slips on a pair of cutoffs. "You ready?" She asks Colson. He nods grabbing her bag. As they head out the door Colson shouts to Ashley " WE OUT!!"

"See yous for dinner!" She calls back from somewhere in the house.

-------------------------------------------

Heading back to Colson's Luna asks about the goldfish. "Oh fuck!! I forgot all about them!!" He exclaims.

"Can we stop and grab a bowl and shit in case they are alive? She asks him.

"Anything you want, Kitten." He takes her hand and kisses it. Before stopping off at a Target.

They are Assholes in Target. He carries her around piggy back style through out the store, tries to buy all the Betas for fighting. She says No so he attacks her with bouncy balls at her legs. As Luna's paying, she loses him for a second before he comes running passed her, screaming with his tongue out. They are not allowed in that Target anymore.

-----------------------------------------------

Still laughing about Target when they walk in they're greeted by a surprisingly quiet house and only 1 dead fish. "That's us." Colson nods at the fish. "Hades and Persephone. Can't kill The Devil and His Bride." He scoops up a laughing Luna, kissing her deeply.

"You do know how fucked up that myth is, don't you?" She asks, still laughing.

"Nope. I don't know and I don't care." He states.

"Hades and Persephone it is..." She laughs throwing her hands up. She sets the fish bowl up in the middle of the kitchen island.

"We have pets." He says kissing her on the head.

----------------------------------------------

Upstairs Colson throws himself on the bed after dropping Luna's bag. Coming in after him, she can't help but jump on him. "Come're Haaaaadesssss..." She teases from above him, littering his face and neck with kisses. He sits up, she pulls his shirt off as he carefully goes for hers, terrified of hurting her. She sees his worry, taking off her shirt and sports bra herself to his relief. She stands up on the bed letting him unbutton and pull off her shorts and panties. He stares up at her naked body before pulling her down onto his face. Licking and lapping her every fold making her twitch and giggle.

"FUCKING PEACHES." He loves the way she tastes.

He hits her spots making her buck. "Bunnnnyyy!!!" She calls out, cumming all over his face as he holds her steady by the waist. Lifting her up off of him, he moves behind her, grabs her hips, setting her on all fours.

As he slides into her, he groans "GOD, YOU FEEL SO FUCKING GOOD, KITTEN."

"Mmmm you like that, Bunny?" She coos. "You like fucking me from behind?"

He's fucking her harder and faster with her words

"I do." He pants out. She's close and can tell he's right with her. She starts slamming against him hard making him moan. Pushing harder and harder she begs "Who's pussy is it, Hm? Who owns this fucking pussy, Bunny?" She moans as she cums.

"I DOOOOOO!!!" He shouts bursting inside of her.

"Yeah, you do." She giggles easing herself down on the bed. He makes sure his face isn't on her shoulder as he kisses her back. Taking their time and laying inside of her, he loves that they have little rituals like this.

She looks at her watch, it's 530P. They have dinner reservations at 7p. She tells him they should shower and he agrees.

They do it again in the shower because how can they be naked together and NOT?

Luna throws on a black long sleeve cotton shirt, black leather pants and her black Red Bottoms. She's has a fire engine red lip to match, jewelry piled on.

They leave a still empty house to head to dinner.

--------------------------------------------

Luna rest her feet in Colson's lap as they smoke a joint on the way to grab Ashley and Dom. They figured they'd all ride together to Toca Madera, then Flappers. Both couples hold hands walking in, easily being sat. "Try not to beat anyone up in here." Colson whispers into her ear heading to their table.

"No promises." She smirks back before sitting down.

Dinners delicious. Their margaritas and fish tacos are to die for. Conversation is fun and engaging as always with the 4 of them. Colson and Dom are talking about their video. They're thinking about doing an open call in the next couple days. Ashley and Luna encourage them, both agreeing it's a gnarly idea. Luna and Ashley have enjoyed watching the guys collaborate. That's when it hits Ashley "We should fucking collab!!" She exclaims excitedly. "I don't know why we never thought of it before!!"

"RIGHT!!!" Shouts Luna in disbelief. "FUCKING RIOT GRL ANTHEM!!!" She's still shouting.

"YEEEEESSSSS!!!!" Oozes Ashley as they high five each other. The guys watch them in amusement as the girls chatter excitedly. Luna already pulling her notebook out.

-------------------------------------------

Leaving Toca Madera is pure hell. Someone must have called the paparazzi alerting them to Ashley. Seeing the 4 of them together is just extra cash on their film.

"Halsey!! Halsey!!" One shouts.

"Yungblud! Over here!!" Shouts another. They push through the cameras with their heads down.

"MGK!!! MGK!!" They shout for Colson. Luna's tucked under Colson's arm, wound side in, head down as Colson pushes them through. As he opens the door for her, she looks up. That does it. She hears it as he shuts her door.

"IS THAT, THAT BROOKLYN BITCH!??? MGK!! MGK!! ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER??" Luna leans over to push open his door for him, Colson slides into the driver's seat of his Benz. Sticking his tongue out and giving The Paps the middle finger as they pull off.

"Holy fucking shit balls!" Luna sighs, lighting a joint.

"I know." The other 3 say in unison.

--------------------------------------------------

To be continued.....

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tellywoodtrash · 6 years

Text

ishqbaaz 08.11.18 lb

oh ho dadi's finally gotten the energy to get outta bed.

omkara with the 'shivaay sab theek kar dega' mantra. been a while since we heard that shit.

lmao bhavya asking rudra “aap theek hai na” when he's sporting some pretty sizable bruises on his face.

yeah i still don't buy bhavya being into this dude romantically. i say she married him just to get into the fam and score the cool jeths and bhabhis that she obviously loves more than her own husband.

can't believe they're making him all cutesy and shit after getting kidnapped for not paying his bookie on time. kuch toh sharam kar nalaayak.

“itni maar khaayi hai, filmon ka bhoot nahi uthra. satte ka bhoot uthra??”

(silent implication: nahi toh bata de, you have two older brothers and at least one bhaabi willing to beat it outta you.)

pft. inhi logon ke laad-pyaar ne bigaada hua hai iss manhoos ko. phenti dene ke bajaay gale laga rahein hai.

give him to nani, i say. i know she's not HIS nani, but still, she'll sort him out.

“agar shivaay....”

ah my heart, it actually hurts him so muchhhhh to hear rudra call him by name. fuck meeeee.

“... bhaiyya nahi hote...”

he's so emosh. and now i'm emosh.

(i'm just having an emosh day. just watched koode and it wrecked meeeeee.)

LMAO NOW NANI'S LIKE MAINE KAHA THA SHIVAAY SAB THEEK KAR DEGA. LOL NANI PLS, ANIKA WAS THE ONE WHO SAID THAT, NOT YOU.

yeh dono kahaan chale?

YOU DUMBFUCK IDIOT, IF YOU REALISE ALL THIS THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO GET RID OF HER LORDDDDDDDDDDD. YOU CAN'T BOTH MAKE THE PUPPY EYES AT HER AND ALSO DRIVE HER AWAY YOU JUST CAN NOTTTTTT ALSKFJLSDJLJFLDSKDFKJ

oh suddenly prinku's all about her brother now. amazing what 4 days of sobriety can do.

lmao all i can think of is the adorable BTS mansi had posted of shrenu bursting into giggles after blowing the conch and having no sound come out.

shivaay and his version of 'mandir wahi banayenge'. pffffffffft.

prinku looks happy, but gauri does not? what's the deal?

lakeer is making things awk for everyone.

aur nahi toh kya. that damn lakeer doesn't even really work. the kitchen and dining room are on omRu's side and shivika are forever there. this mandir itself is on the omRu side of the house. ainvayi har room ke beech beech mein lakeer kheechi hui hai. kuch bhi bakchodi.

“aaja.”

asalkjdslakdjasldkjs weeping.

he looks to rudra too, for permission. who gives him the tiniest nod.

i love it. i love all of it. how they had rudra step over to shivaay's side. how shivaay's straddling both sides. rudra looking at shivaay, as if he's seeing him for the first time. shivaay looking over at him and rudra quickly churaofying aankh. all of it...

this will always be the first and foremost love story of this show for me. these three brothers. everything else comes secondary. my three boys.

roop's bitch face lol. get fucked, bua.

rudra just can't stop looking at shivaay. because he's gained him back after so long. so so long. my heartttttttttt.

behen darwaaze ko sajaa rahi hai ya khud ko?

lol look at him looking at her with his head cocked, like a confused puppy.

lmao aankhon ki gustaakhiyan.ofc.

......... shivaay, how is this helpful at all?

i like how she's not all GASP OMG HOTNESS, but instead completely done with him.

he too is like not very romanchick. yet. i'm sure he'll get in mood in 3... 2... 1...

yup. nooooooooooo issues sliding his arm around her waist and drawing her closer and giving her the ‘fuck me’ eyes....

snort. twinkle ko bada mazaa aata hai, watching her otp play out fanfiction in front of her.

oh suddenly he's like oh i shouldn't be thinking with my downstairs brain.

lmao twinkle/anika's bitch who are you fooling with this bs smiles.

SHIVAAY GESTURING AT TWINKLE AND HER BEING ADORABLY CLUELESS IS MY FAVT THING THIS WEEK. EVERY SCENE HE'S TRYING SO HARD AND SHE'S JUST LIKE ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

god i really love twinkle’s face as she watches him dig his own grave.

“ladoo MAINE banaaye hain.”

snort. is bechaari pe kyun bhadak raha hai. bewakoof insaan.

girl love girl love girl love.

“excuse me, hum bhi taiyyar hue hain, aur humein tareef se allergy nahi hai.”

bitch putting on one kurta and vest is not “taiyyaar hona”. tuney bas kapde badlein hain. gtfo. come back when you’ve put some damn effort.

eh. not so impressed by his outfit. rudra’s outfit is better. kinda sloppy in how he’s wearing it, but i like the outfit itself better.

rudra mandaraaoing near bhaiyya, unable to get the words out. he truly is a little childdddddddddd.

jodiyaan assemble.

ugh rikara why so fucken pretty kill meeeeee.

this fucker will take twinkle, won't he? WON'T HE??????? THIS FUCKING FUCK.

NANIIIIIIII NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

ALDSKJFLSFJLDLKJDLSFJDSLF SHIVAAY IMMA MURDER YOU I SWEAR TO GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. RUDRA IF THERE'S EVER A TIME TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF HIM, IT'S NOW. RIGHT NOW. DO IT.

om's U WOT M8 face at this fuckery.

NANI U NEED TO STOP GOING ALONG WITH HIM ON THIS FUCKERY AND START BEATING SENSE INTO HIS DUMB ASS.

nani pls. don't act overly like you're being forced and all. all you need to do is refuse. or say yes and then at last minute not do anything. you don't have to actively aid him in fucking with her like this. dono ko paap lagega. uska toh list already bharaa hua hai, aap bhi narak jaayengi.

om just can't believe the amount of chutiyaapa that's going on.

AB PEECHE PEECHE KYUN AAYA HAI TU HEIN????????? JAA POOJA KAR NA USKE SAATH. MANHOOS.

“haath pe lagi chot ki aapko itni fikr hai, lekin jo chot aap roz mere dil ko de rahe hain, uska kya?”

“main jaanti hoon ki aap jo kuch bhi kar rahein hain, meri khushi, meri bhalaai ke liye kar rahein hain. is liye aapke har stunt ko main mazaak mein le leti hoon. lekin bardaasht ki bhi koi hadh hoti hai.”

TELL HIM, GIRL. TELL HIM.

“roz aap mera dil dukhaate hain, lekin aaj, aaj aapne mera dil tod diya.”

fuck. my heart. my poor girl. this stupid son of a bitch. i hate him. i hate him so much.

YEAH I DON'T GIVE ONE (1) SINGLE FUCK ABOUT YOUR “INTENTIONS” AND “MOTIVATIONS” AND HOW MUCH MANPAIN *YOU'RE* UNDERGOING HURTING HER. ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT IS UNNECESSARY. FUCKING UNNECESSARY. LITERALLY FUCK OUTTA HERE SHIVAAY.

#ishqbaaz #ishqbaaaz #ib episode liveblogs #episode liveblogs

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