#Christmas got me thinking and I haven't stopped in 3 weeks

[stars-and-skyes]

I was a little girl and she was speaking over me. I didn't mind, my voice was loud and I could match her tone. I could yell about how my day went until somebody heard. Later, I wonder why nobody stopped her from interrupting me.

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As I grew my voice became softer and my yelling not as clear, theyd ask how my day was then turn to her in the middle of one of my words. Soon they didn't know what classes I was taking but could tell you her latest conversation with her teacher. I didn't bring it up. What if that's why nobody stopped her from interrupting me?

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

I learned to close my mouth and to be a passive listener, along for the ride, to nod along and scroll through nothing in particular on my phone. I brought a book and sketchpad to dinner and only spoke when spoken to. I seemed content in my own little world. Is that really why nobody stopped her from interrupting me?

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Then she left, and conversation lulled. They'd ask me why I'm so quiet, why my voice shakes when I use it too long and why I can't debate like she could. I want to yell but I don't think I can anymore. I want to cry because it's the only thing I can do anymore. I tell her how she hurt me and she told me I could have spoken over her. Is that's what was expected of me? Surely someone should have just stopped her from interrupting me?

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Then I left, and they asked me why I didn't message without prompting, or why I don't speak to my peers. I don't tell them that I don't know how. How can I message when nobody will bother to read it? How could I carry a conversation when I've always just been on the outskirts of them? How could I cope with a room of people listening when I've never had one? What if they didn't want to hear what I had to say? It's not important enough. I'm not important enough.

That's why nobody stopped her from interrupting me.

#what is this #tw vent #vent ig #vent post #Second post and I'm already venting? #I'll post about other things #Maybe #i'll probably delete this later #Christmas got me thinking and I haven't stopped in 3 weeks #I love her though #idk how to tag this #The wording could be so much better #But it's 5am #So whatever #is this relatable #skye vents #sisterhood

[kissitbttr]

Ok, imagine Miguel and Glen just casually talking

'i told you we are going serious'

'if you are going serious with her why haven't you met her family or something?'

After that he has been persistently asking about y/n's family and he eventually tells y/n he wants to meet them

(first time asking for something lol sorry if I made some mistakes, love the way you write <3)

“So got any plans with your girl and her family this Christmas?”

Miguel stops eating his cereal before looking up, seeing Glen taking a seat in front of him,

“What do you mean?”

Glen gives him a look, one that Miguel doesn’t understand. “I meant, are you going to spend some time with her family next week. Unless you both are only fucking around-“

“We’re not” Miguel’s quick to say, resuming to feed himself a spoonful of froot loops. Your favorite ones. And now it has become his favorite too. “We’re serious. She’s the one”

Hearing that makes Glen smile, leaning forward against the marble top as he hears how defensive his best friend gets with his girlfriend. “Okay that’s good. But does she know that?”

“What the fuck are you talking about, compá?”

“That you’re getting serious with her” Glen shrugs, interlocking his hands. “Because it’s been like what, almost six months you guys are fucking around-“

“We are not, fucking around” Miguel repeats through gritting teeth.

“Okay shit, sorry. Don’t kill me” Glen apologizes with a smile. “But has she ever, I don’t know—Asked you to go meet her family?”

Miguel thinks for a while before shrugging, playing with his food. “Not really… She never really talked about it so i assumed it’s a sensitive topic. She has a brother though.”

“Oh. Well okay” Glen answers with a sigh, earning a frown from Miguel as he stops chewing,

“What the hell is that?”

“The hell is what?!”

“That!” Miguel points, dropping his spoon. “Fuck, do i have something to worry about?!”

“What, no! Man—Christ! I didn’t peg you for an overthinker, O’Hara” Glen jokes, but Miguel doesn’t find it funny. “I’m just saying… If shit’s getting serious then you should probably ask her to go meet her family. If not then—“

“Fucking stop. I can’t and won’t hear what you’re about to say next.” Miguel stands up from his chair, grabbing the bowl before dumping it on the sink. “I mean she—she knows that i’m serious with her… Right? She’s got to be… Or maybe is she not—“

“Woah okay hey” Glen immediately jumps to console Miguel after seeing the defeated look on his face and the crack of his voice. Not exactly fond of seeing the distress expression across Miguel’s face.

“She knows, man.. Of course she does” Glen says, “that girl’s crazy in love with you it’s almost sickening. so i doubt she’ll leave your ass”

“You think so?” Miguel’s eyes soften at the confirmation. “She told you that?”

Glen only smile, hiding something that his best friend doesn’t know and he likes to keep it that way.

“Nope. Just a simple observation” He lies. “She here?”

“Yeah. Sleeping upstairs” Miguel’s heart blooms at the thought of his pretty girlfriend tucked comfortably underneath the covers of his bed,

“Alright then why the fuck are you still here? Be a gentleman, wake her up and get her breakfast. It’s almost 9” Glen claps his shoulder before walking away, resuming his daily routine.

Miguel’s hand reaches out next to the stove, grabbing the brown paper bag filled with your favorite cinnamon roll and lemon loaf along with an iced coffee from the cafe. He couldn’t decide which one you prefer to eat for breakfast, so he bought two instead.

He goes back to his room, entering in silence only to find you already woken up. His eyes light up when his favorite smile look up to him. The cause of his heart beat to quicken, knees to buckle and ruby irises to dilate,

He doesn’t think he’ll get tired of it,

“I was wondering where my big boy has gone” You stretch out your arms, kicking the covers off.

Miguel walks towards the bed, cheeks warming at the nickname. “Was craving cereal for breakfast so i went down to get some. I didn’t wanna wake you”

He takes a seat at the edge of the bed as you prop yourself up to sit up straight, the collar of his shirt you’re wearing falls down to one of your shoulder. Exposing your soft skin, littering with marks of his teeth from last night,

“So sweet of you, baby” You move to sit on your knees and move forward to kiss his lips. “What’s that?”

“Oh, this?” He moves the bag to your lap and set the iced coffee next to your bed. “Your breakfast. I got your favorites.”

Your eyes soften at his gesture, jutting your bottom lip forward. “Are you saying, you ate a cereal but you bought me bakery goods? Why would you do that?”

“You’re my girl” He responds as if it’s the most obvious thing. “I’m supposed to take care of you, mi amor.”

Your heart soars when he gives you his lovesick smile as his head tilts a bit to the side. “I love you, you know that? But i would’ve been just fine with cereal.” Your hands wrapped around his neck as he keeps a steady grip on your hips, drawing you close,

“Ay, cariño. I’ve lost count on the amount of times you’ve eaten that ever since you start sleeping over here” He chuckles, moving your hair to the back. “You need some better food in your system”

“Awe. I love how you’re taking care of me” You coo, giggling at your boyfriend lovely gesture.

He eyes you for a moment. From the crease of your brows, to your cute nose, and down to your soft full lips that he adores.

Gorgeous doesn’t even begin to describe you.

“What’s on your mind, Miggy?” You wonder, fingers move to lose themselves under his chocolate hair. “Hm?”

“Just thinking”

“About?”

“About when i get to meet your family” He blurts, causing your movement to stop. He panics for a little.

“I mean y-you don’t have to, wait—i mean we don’t have to” He nervously laughs, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. “I know we never actually talked about it. Which is why i won’t pressure you. But i would like to meet them someday… I want them to know that i’m not just some guy and that i’m taking good care of you and all”

You watch how he rambles. Feeling flustered at the choice of his words, especially the last one. He doesn’t want to come off cocky or anything but he can’t deny the fact that he’s the only man who has been treating you like a princess and he doesn’t even have to ask you for the truth.

A grin spreads across your features, letting out a giggle at how cute he’s acting. “You are, baby. You’re meeting my family”

His eyes widens. “Wait, i am?”

“Yes” You nod, pecking his nose. “I’m taking you to dinner with my family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I already told them. It was supposed to be a surprise for you, though”

“Holy shit. Really?” Again, you nod which makes him smile even bigger. “This is the best news ever! I can’t wait to win them over!”

“You’re so cute, Miguel”

#miguel o’hara blurbs #frat!miguel #is this too short? bc my brain is blocked lmao

[kiefbowl]

this is a random thought I had in the shower actually well over a month ago, but I've been gnawing at it in my brain...and perhaps this is going to sound pathetic and a bit esoteric.

So, it suddenly dawned on me very randomly while I was showering that I have been paying for netflix for my own account since I was a freshman in college. Back in the dvd days, I remember having Firefly sent to me disk by disk my fall semester. This is 2009. It was an important part of college because I let my friends use it on their console and we'd all go to their dorm and watch streaming, and I passed out my log in to a ton of friends. I basically provided free Netflix to more or less 10 or so people over the course of four years for not even $7 a month I think.

What hit me though was that means, this year - that will be 15 years. That's what stopped me in my shower to stare off in the abyss for like 10 minutes and what's been on my mind for the past several weeks. I've been paying netflix for 15 years, which is the longest I've ever done anything. There is no other company I've so consistently paid for like this either, not for that many of years not even close. Quite possibly my longest relationship outside of my family and 2-3 other people. Netflix, the ever constant, of all forsaken things.

And what really bothers me about it is that, uhm, not to be an American consumer but like...I don't feel appreciated by netflix. For the past few years, I've barely used it, except for a few titles I've wanted to watch. I haven't passed out my log in since I changed it not long after college to keep an ex using it for free. I've remained loyal, despite the fact that I don't feel like some sort of loyal consumerist. I don't give a fuck about brands, I try to shop as little as possible, thrift what I can. And yet, what can I say? I actually am a loyal consumerist, to netflix that is.

What a shock to realize this, and what a shock to realize netflix does not acknowledge this, no email saying thanks, no surveys, no swag, no pizza party, no invite no perk no discount no nothing. Instead they raise prices, cut services, lose licenses, and cancel barely finished products. I'm 15 years loyal to this company for this?

And I think about the days of yore, but really not long ago. The preferred shopper's catalogues of department stores, the longtime shopper promotions of industry giants, the award systems for the loyal consumerists of chains and malls. The specialty Christmas items that are today vintage and worth money for their rarity. The thank yous, the special events. The mailers that say "Come to our store loyal customer and receive a free $20 coupon for that day!" And I'm not saying this is good, and of course it's all just marketing and advertisement, and I'm not saying this is the life I want to live...

But I am saying this would be easy for netflix to do, for someone like me. Someone who went from $7 to stream and receive DVDs, who got customers onboard when the model was new and the company was pioneering, to $20 to sit unused but for a month or two out of the year. It would be easy to pull the data. It would be easy to say which accounts have been opened the longest, to actually verify who has given 180 months worth of payments to them. It would be easy to give me a year's discount to say thank you. It would be easy for them to send an email to verify my address to send me merch. Do I want the merch? No, not really. But have they tried?

Have they even sent me an email saying "We appreciate your 15 years of support! We value you!" with little confetti animation? They didn't do it at 10 years. They didn't do it at 5 years. I don't recall ever receiving emails from netflix besides "Unfortunately, our payment model is changing."

As of today, I haven't pulled my account yet. I want to finish Bridgerton, even if this season is a snoozefest. But I think I will. I feel had and used, as pathetic as that sounds. Has Hulu done anything different? I can't remember when I signed up for them but it's been many years. No, but I frankly use it more, so I'm less angry. And with netflix...it's been fifteen years. They have really banked on us being passive in our payments, and accustomed to the freedom of endless choice, and it just feels gleeful that they never even once acknowledged I've been here this whole time. Actually, act like Sears and Bloomingdales 60 years ago, or we quit I think we should say. Ask me my address to send me a glass netflix mug or I'll fuck off, because who do you think you are to think so little of me, the only reason you exist for?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not contacting my best friend of 10+ years in 3 years almost?

I (16f) haven't talked to my friend (18f) at all in almost 2 years now. Last time I texted her was probably December 2022? Just a stupid little "Merry Christmas" message on Insta. We meet when I was 4 or 5 (I don't remember for sure) because we lived on the same street. Throughout our friendship I was homeschooled and she started being homeschooled later on (10 I think). When she was 11 she moved about 20 minutes away and my mom would still drive me over, all was good. Then when I was 10 I moved 45-60 minutes away and I still went to see her, but instead of everyday it was like every week or two. Now I've been away for 6 years (obviously) but I visited her up until 2018-2019 area. Then I kept texting until 2022. Then I stopped texting cause I felt like I was always starting the conversation instead of her, which I know now I probably should've just told her how I was feeling but I was an angsty awkward 14 year old who was ✨️going through some shit✨️. Anyways, she never texted me. Not even on my birthday (even though I texted her on her's every year since I got a phone) and it's not like she could've forgotten easily, my birthday is two weeks before her's. To add to things, the past few years when I started figuring out I was queer, I realized I may have had a little crush on her. I hadn't ever been exposed to a lot of queer things as a kid so I didn't realize until 11-12 what it even was let alone that I was allowed to feel that for another girl. I want to contact her again, I really fucking want to. Not even to try and act on my crush, I doubt she ever thought of me like that, but just to be her friend again.

So, Tumblr, AITA?

TL;DR I fucked up my friendship of 10+ years by not contacting her, but she didn't contact me either.

P.S. I left out some details so hopefully she doesn't realize it's us, last I knew she didn't have Tumblr (though, she could say the same about me) but still I think all the important details are here. Thanks.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[incarnateirony]

I think the most profane thing in all of this was the smugness of the studios. They're only just now admitting to the public that this is going to impact movie and TV schedules, and started by saying "may impact" even as recent as a week or two ago, while the older CEOs that already got out and ran in the past are now going, "No, this is about to turn into catastrophic collapse of the entire industry, if this drags on till christmas these businesses will not even have the money to order anything."

Even Zaslav is shifting uncomfortably now going, well, we need a resolution, all the projections (that we convinced investors and the stock market of) are based on September back to work date. And he said that Thursday, and they failed to come to an agreement Friday.

They have, at best, one more shot at this in the next few weeks, before that "September back to work" date of Zaslav disappears into the bullshit wormhole he's been pulling it out of.

Even *if* everyone got to work *tomorrow*, it still takes months to write, develop, put things through pre-prod. And the holidays are coming full of stop gaps. Things wouldn't even start filming till like, new years break ends. And then shows want a few buffer months of filming ahead, so you'd be looking at a Spring schedule at best. And that says nothing for piled up double bookings for creatives and actors, et al, pushing things out and out and out.

Like, let me use Supernatural for example. It used to run Sept-Apr or so, then eventually moved Oct-May. When a season ended in mid May, even before any official renewal, authors were passing around next season ideas, and had initial drafts by, say, late June of where they were going to go with arenas and assigning future writing assignments over the team. Then July and August are actually, you know, writing it and pushing it through other pre-production phases, including studios sticking their dicks in to bounce it back, and the network, and whatever else. That's why there's multiple drafts--Writer, Network, Production. Then by late August and into September they're filming, and in SPN's case, it was 8 days/episode. This varies per show, 6-10, but 8 is a good average anyway. Weekends aren't included, so you can generally get about 3 episodes in a month done, give or take. And they like to have about in the bag before air, for a plethora of reasons. So a late August filming > Sept > Early Oct is like 6-7 weeks filming for five episodes.

While minor details may change on different shows, this is a general rhythm to account on, and it's a show of good averages all around.

So with this in mind, the writers haven't written SHIT because STRIKE. So this entire quarter is bumped at least into next, and then filming into next year, and so on.

And they *might not even get back to work by SEPTEMBER*. Then comes holidays and-- you see the problem here. Even some top reality shows are sort of off the table due to their hosts being part of SAG. Reality stars are even muttering about unionizing and discontent with pay, production groups not covered are falling in under IATSE who is this close to joining the rave.

And all they had to do was agree to pay fairly months ago. But they thought people would give up, that people would accept rewashed fodder instead of losing subscribers, that they could snow investors with "free cash flow" from not ordering things, even knowing they were going to reduce ordering anyway because they were in the red from over-ordering to pad content libraries in streaming. So some +100M cash flow is actually real pitiful when it should have another zero behind it. They are feeling it, and realizing, they did a fucking dumb. Penny pinching their work crew is going to tumble several media empires at this rate, but they STILL didn't come to the table properly and for real last time.

Like they Do Not Get It. The unions aren't going to stop, or bend. The unions want double payrate, and mostly should get it, or at least real damn close. But they kept offering pennies as if they had empty coffers while raking in hundreds of millions for CEOs, and those CEOs are about to lose everything from their refusal to break from their greed.

The industry was already due for a content retraction, but the least they could do is say, yeah, sure, we'll pay the people we DO hire fairly.

A lot of authors and actors are going to find themselves struggling for work after this regardless, but it's the kind of job they've already been working other jobs around. So "starving them out" was never gonna work, the suits never got that. All they want is fair returns for when they DO get work. But companies are proving they'd rather commit suicide than do that. And now, they're panicking, realizing, maybe they shouldn't? But what do now while running out of money?

WB's current plan for example involves selling off a lot of its international and sports networks, but the irony is, that's the only thing keeping them floating, but they're reaching a point of no other choice. At this rate these studios are about to have to sell ALL their linear stations, bail from classic broadcast, and put everything into streaming. Otherwise, we're watching their slow fall.

#wga strike #sag strike

[butterfly-casket]

Sometimes breaking down and crying to your primary care physician....works

I was desperate for answers at the end of 2023. I mean, it's been 3 years and I still don't have answers. I had lost all hope, as I was gaining new symptoms, and still no one had any idea what could be wrong. Until I read about MS, and it fit nearly all of my symptoms. I scheduled the first appointment I could to discuss it with my primary. After scheduling it, I realized I had only scheduled a 20 min appointment, and spent 4 hours getting all of my symptoms typed out with dates of when they started, how long they lasted, when they got worse. I typed out a script to communicate to my doctor all of the most important/relevant information in the most condensed form possible. I was ready to be in and out, spend 5 minutes getting him the information, and the next 15 discussing with him the plan of action.

Instead, my doc was pissed that I was even there. I had only seen his NP up until this point and he was so upset that I, a person with so many issues, had come in to see him personally the Friday before his Christmas break. He made sure to spend the first 5 minutes of the appointment interrupting me to express his frustration, and I started to feel like he wasn't going to help me at all.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop myself as I started shaking out of fear, and then the anger-override kicked in. I whipped out my symptom list, and his demeanor immediately changed. I told him as calmly as I could in the moment "THAT is my symptom list. Are you just not going to help me?"

He started saying "Well its just that you're going to try and make this appointment take 3 hours—" I cut him off to say "No, I wanted to make this appointment 20 minutes but you just spent the first 5 putting your problems on me." *cues the flood gates* "I've had doctors, nurse practitioners, specialists all innaccurately record my symptoms, if they ever even recorded them at all. I have to walk with a cane, I haven't been able to work for a year and a half, I have NO income, I am just trying to survive and I've been dismissed and not believed over and over again, to the point that it's effected my medical records. It makes EVERYONE think I'm fucking INSANE. I just want some help. I just need some fucking help. I just need some fucking answers. Please."

He started getting in my chart and got to business. He immediately ordered about 8 retests and 6 new ones. He got me a referral to Neurology, ordered X-rays, a swallow test, and MRIs to check for MS.

I went to the Rheumatology appointment I already had scheduled a few weeks later. I felt like the doctor was actually listening to me for the first time in forever. He made a point to record every one of my symptoms as I listed them. He seemed to care. I just came back from my swallow test today. The person performing the test acted like he read through my whole chart and was asking me a lot of questions about my other issues. He asked me if I had the MRIs yet before the test, and when going over the results he said "If it does turn out to be MS, come back to us. We will help you, figure out what works for you."

I've been terrified of being too direct with my doctors, I wouldn't even tell them the diagnosises that I thought it COULD be out of fear of them going "You've just been looking up things on the internet, I'm giving you a munchausens diagnosis." But I was desperate. It was a real cry for help. And thank fuck he saw that. Even if I still don't find answers, I've brought to their attention the mistreatment and carelessness I've been dealing with and they have decided to change that. Hopefully I will be treated like a normal human being and get my symptoms recorded correctly.

#insane slur #tw insane slur #butterfly-casket #disabled #disability #multiple sclerosis #medical malpractice #medical maltreatment #disabled rights #doctor #doctors #PCP #medical records #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #chronic illness

[yelenasdiary]

Hey

Could I request for the Advent Calendar a Natasha Romanoff x reader fic where they go ice skating? Maybe Natasha is pretty good at ice skating but reader is not good at all. So Natasha learns reader ice skating and reader gets better and better at it. Thank you and I love your work sm!! <3

☃️ Ice Skating ☃️

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Natasha teaches you how to ice skate.

Fluff | 0.8K | No Warnings | 

Translation: medovyy (honey)

AC: I also have no idea how to ice skate so shoutout to wikihow for the tips lmao! I hope you enjoy this! 

Day 9 | Advent Calendar Masterlist 🎄

"This was not what I had in mind for our date night" you chuckled as you turned more into Natasha's side, "Oh you didn't?" Nat smirked, "you've always said you wanted to go ice skating, haven't you?" she added. Even since you and Natasha started dating, you both settled for Thursday nights being date night, every week unless she was on a mission, but she always did her best to make sure when she was home that Thursday nights were date night. 

It was freezing, snow surrounding everything around you for miles, a large Christmas tree stood tall with the brightest lights you'd ever seen but you couldn't ignore the large ice-skating rink in front of the two of you. Children skating around the rink with their friends or parents so naturally it made you feel slightly embarrassed that you didn't have the first clue on how to do the activity. 

"You're not scared, are you?" Natasha teased as she gently pulled you towards the rink. "Okay, yes, I have always wanted to do this, but I've never actually tried so I don't have any idea on what I'm doing" you replied, "don't worry pretty darling, I'll teach you" Natasha smiled as you both approached the counter to pay. "This is going to be embarrassing" you said under your breath when Natasha asked for skates in your size and hers. 

Natasha helped you put on the skates before taking you over to the rink, "I'm going to do a lap then I'll bring you out with me, watch how my feet move" Nat smiled before placing a kiss on your forehead. You knew she'd be a master at this given she's not only a master at basically everything but also given her background in ballet. Natasha of course made sure you had protective gear on, she even got herself a helmet just to make you feel more comfortable. 

You watched as she perfectly went around the rink in a beautiful motion, she could do anything, and you'd still be stuck in awe. Distracted by her beauty and the way she was able to make gliding over the ice easy, Natasha noticed that your attention wasn't exactly focused on watching how she moved but more the way she moved, Nat did a second lap with a soft smile and a light shake of her head as she came to a stop in front of you. "Have you finished daydreaming?" she asked, snapping you out of your longing thoughts of how anybody would think the worst of Natasha when she could move the way she did so freely and beautiful. 

"Give me your hand" she smiled softly as she held her hand out for you to take. She guided you to the railing where you clung onto tightly, your feet slipping apart from the ice. "if you feel like you're going to fall, bend your knees and squat into a dip position" she explained while showing you an example, "and don't worry, I'll catch you before you hurt yourself too badly" Nat sent you a playful wink. "I'm nervous" you spoke quietly so nobody could hear you, "medovyy, don't stress about it, you'll do great" Nat encouraged before gently kissing your lips. 

Natasha explains everything she thought you needed know before and gently stood behind you with her hands on your waist to help guide you around the rink, once you felt confident in alternate between lifting one foot and another, Natasha slowly released you from her guiding hands without you noticing until you were halfway around the rink. 

"Nat!!" you called out, looking behind you and almost falling if it wasn't for the railing to save you. "You're doing fantastic baby!" Natasha smiled as she slowly skated up to you, "keep going baby" she added with a light nod. You couldn't keep the excited smile off your face as you awkwardly continued to skate around the rink, even though you felt awkward and wondered what you looked like to others, having Natasha close behind you only made you feel like the only people on the rink were you and her. 

"Looks like you've nailed it, baby" Natasha spoke as she glided up behind you, wrapping her arms around you, spinning you around to face her. "Natty!!" you squealed at her surprise incoming, "I've got you" she smiled, gliding you both around the rink as one. "This is so fun, thank you darling" you smiled, "Do you think you're ready for the ultimate skating test?" Natasha looked into your eyes with a light smirk, "This is a test?" you jokingly asked. Natasha just smiled before leaning in and kissing you, at first you melted and almost lost balance even though you knew Natasha wouldn't let you both fall but quickly you found your balance, Natasha only deepened the kiss as you both did another lap of the rink. 

"You're a natural" Natasha couldn't help but leave a kiss on your cheek, "well, my teacher is pretty great" you smiled as you rested your head against her chest, "can we please do a couple more laps?" you asked softly. "Say no more" Natasha replied.

Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @natasha-belova | @blackwidow-3 | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @ahintofchaos | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @donnietarantino | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | 

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #fanfiction #christmas #black widow #marvel

[traegorn]

I need to stop doing this to myself.

(A Rant Where Trae Has Written Too Many Books This Month)

So since most of you started following me because of Witchcraft or podcast stuff, I realize a lot of you don't know how much fiction writing I do.

Primarily what I've published are comics. The big one is UnCONventional (which ran from December of 2009 to December of 2019), but I also did a steampunk comic called The Chronicles of Crosarth (which I put on hiatus in like 2018 intending to come back to... but I haven't, and I make no guarantee that I will even though over 650 of the 800 planned pages are done). Crosarth is... fine? The art isn't great in either of these, but UnCONventional carries itself with the humor.

But that's all old stuff. You may be like "Trae, what have you been producing for the last four years," and the answer is "not a lot." I got major creative block with the pandemic. Peregrine Lake, the "Northwoods Gothic" comic I was supposed to launch in 2020 (which has some characters from UnCONventional in it) didn't materialize when I said it would. What storytelling energy I had went into Stormwood & Associates and The Meatgrinder (my two actual play podcasts), but that was it.

And then 2023 happened, and the juices started flowing again.

Peregrine Lake is moving forward -- but with me just doing the writing. My urge to draw has not returned, but my urge to write has. A friend of mine, Ethan Flanagan, is drawing it, and I've written the first year of comics. It likely won't launch any time soon (the artist I'm working with is busy as hell so we want to get a shit-ton of the comic done before we launch it -- we have like the first month and a half of the comic ready?). But yeah -- it's happening. I hoping for Spring, but we'll see.

The other thing though is that I've started writing, like, novels. I've always had like twenty ideas in my head, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I decided to start with the idea I cared the least about (in case I fucked it up): A queer urban fantasy story.

In the last month and a half I've written complete drafts of two different novels in this setting, and am halfway through another one... and have another one outlined.

I, uh, had some ideas.

If you're asking yourself "Hey Trae -- what the fuck? That's a lot" you need to know a few things that aren't obvious. At one point in college, in 72 hours, I produced over 40 pages of text between three research papers. All were for 300 level courses, and I may have disassociated while writing them because I frankly don't remember most of it. But, like, they were decent papers.

One of those papers is in Google Scholar.

Anyway, yeah. I haven't been sleeping great because I've been obsessively writing, but you might ask "Why didn't you just write one and get it ready to publish?" That's a great question. Because I wrote a book, and when I was 3/4 of the way through it I realized something very important: This book would make a great sequel to a book I haven't written. I've been writing book two in a series where I haven't written book one yet.

Well fuck.

So I finished that draft, and I went and wrote book one. Now that book? That book I'm getting ready to publish. I expect to have it out in January. Part of my editing process involves setting what I think is a completed, good, revised draft down for a couple of weeks and then returning to it with fresh eyes. We're in that waiting period right now.

But I still had a bunch of energy.

So the first thing I did was a revising draft on book two (the one I wrote first), but I finished that. And had more energy. And more stories in this setting kept popping up.

So I started a third book. And I'm halfway through the first draft of that book. But then I realized yesterday... shit, this isn't book three.

This is book four.

I need stuff to happen before we get to this story.

So now I've outlined the actual book three, and am working on literally both of these books at once (I'll take a break for Christmas and then go do a final edit on Book One).

And... I'm just like... why am I like this?

I need to stop myself for a few days and get more sleep.

#writing

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

Hi Maven!! Same q to everyone this week: what are your top 3 wincest episodes, and why?

ok im gonna cheat and do this in 2 ways hehe

a) top 3 sam/dean episodes

3. A Very Supernatural Christmas: has the samulet (their engagement ring, obviously!), you can palpably feel the isolation, the neglect, it's very two-children-in-a-motel-esque. and of course, the final scene, where i think, if there was any point in the series aside from the barn scene in which they would have said "i love you," it would have been there. the deep long stare, the watery eyes, the fact that they both know dean will be gone within the year, and then... "do you feel like watching the game?" ahhhhhhh drives me nuts

2. Swan Song: their love literally!!!!! saves the world, i mean come on. it has the whole wincest montage that you could literally set a richard siken poem to, or a taylor swift song to (look i know those are vastly different things but. bear with me), and it would just feel right. dean finally lets sam do things on his own. he lives because sam tells him to. sam manages to revoke his possession consent because of how much he's in love with dean, even as his fist is smashing dean's face into a pulp. ok i have to stop or i'm going to start crying in this goddamn airport.

Playthings: obviously. gothic horror episode of all time. picture-perfect family in the outside, secret sibling hidden upstairs. the way sam and dean's codependency is paired with that of the grandmother and her ghostly sister. the face-stroking. the almost kiss. god i swear it always looks like they're gonna kiss. sam writhing on the bed. dean staring at him like that. the subtext was about to bust through the screen, what with the acting and the way the plot and the meta-plot fit together perfectly. catherine tosenberger said it much better than i can, go read her article in TWC about wincest if you haven't!

b) top 3 family-horror-what-the-incestuous-freudian-fuck-is-going-on-here episodes

2. Devil's Trap: azazel uses john's body in a sexual manner against both sam and dean--primarily the latter but sam gets it, too. it's a chilling scene and really cements that this is what spn is about: never being able to escape the family. sam learns partly of azazel's plot, dean gets his daddy issues flayed onto him, and all through the eyes of the father. it's so well done.

3. Skin: imo the most damning thing the shifter says is, "i will be sorry to lose this skin. your brother's got a lot of great qualities. you should appreciate him more than you do." uh...what? the way he ties up sam and plans on torturing him also aligns with the shifter's pattern of turning into the husband and beating up the wife. another HMM moment actually comes from dean himself, when he tells sam that none of his friends will ever understand him and that dean's the only one who can...it's very isolating, kind of abuser tactics, and just. whew. this was episode SIX!!

In the Beginning: come on you knew i was gonna say this. aside from the obvious moments of "mom is a babe" (and remember, dean invokes sam into this moment as well..."sammy, wherever you are..."), samuel!azazel leaning over dean and smelling him, and samuel!azazel kissing mary--passionately returned(?), may i add, the plot itself sets up the winchester family as this enclosed, inbred unit. mary's kiss with her possessed father seal's sam's fate as part of azazel's army. the sexuality she shares with her father makes her son's blood diseased and cursed. the family line is tainted by incest. her kiss is what allows sam and dean to grow up that way, to become so codependent, what allows the moments of avsc, swan song, and playthings to happen! in the beginning. this begins the cycle of selling and saving souls--mary for john, john for dean, dean for sam. it's literally THEE spn episode, perhaps even more than playthings. even though sam's barely in it, his fate hangs over the whole episode, and this is full house of wincest at its finest.

#WHEW. spike im sorry that was a lot. i had a lot of fun with this tho. thank u #wincest wednesay #playthings #avsc #in the beginning #swan song #devil's trap #skin #full house of wincest #supernatural is a horror show #spn + the gothic #letters #deanwinchesterpregnant #spike tag #my meta

[compassionatereminders]

With the caveat that it's impossible to give truly good advice based on only a few paragraphs of context, and I realize that:

Should I try to reconnect with an online friend who ghosted me not out of malice but because they were busy and burned out with work, and spent their free time with new friends they'd made?

I used to care about them a lot and I thought it was mutual, they called me their best friend at one point. But it became the kind of friendship where we'd only have conversations if I kept reaching out to them to them, again and again. Sometimes I'd send them things 2-3 times without any reply for weeks, but the times we did talk were still good. But for the past two years they have forgotten my birthday (I haven't brought it up), and I haven't talked to them in the last six months because I got too busy to keep badgering them into contact and they never reached out in turn, and this time I just let them. I'd been keeping things going for a year or two at this point, it was miserable to feel like we only had a relationship at all when I'd prod them into it. The only reason I kept doing it so long was because they assured me they wanted to stay friends with me and still cared and loved it when I contacted them even if they didn't reply. But over time, it became very hard to keep believing that. If that were true, wouldn't they choose to spend time with me over their new friends or newest videogame? At least once in a blue moon? But they didn't. So I stopped.

I'm considering sending a Christmas card but I don't know. It is sooo so hard to tell when my feelings of hurt and resentment originate from my insecurity and abandonment issues, and when they're a legitimate reaction to mistreatment, and one I shouldn't talk myself out of. For the longest time I believed that if I stopped trying to be friends with them just because their stressful job and busy schedule made them too burned out to keep up their end, I'd be a bad friend. That if I was a good friend, I'd stick it out and try to keep being a source of support for them. I did this for several years, but it never got better, only worse. When they did have free time, they'd spend it with other people, and I don't think they even think about me anymore. I feel like a sucker. I feel taken advantage of. Whether I give up on them for good, or try to reconnect, I have no idea which one I'll regret more, and it hurts that this painful dilemma I'm in isn't even on the radar for them.

Sorry for long post.

I personally think there's a difference between ghosting because you don't care, and ghosting because you don't have the energy required to maintain a relationship. Don't get me wrong - both are allowed to be deal breakers for you, and you're not obligated to put up with either. It sounds like you've really tried to make this work for a long time without results and I completely get it if by now you can't or don't want to keep trying. That's valid and understandable. I don't blame you. But I also think that "if they don't do xyz then that means they don't care about you at all" can be an oversimplification which isn't necessarily helpful. So you gotta figure out if it's a deal breaker for you that they haven't done their part regardless of the reasons why. Either choice is a valid choice.

#chat with kat

[indigoraysoflight]

25 or 30 for the ogs Ned and Cat. Thank you!

Hey nonny, here you go! <3

25. string lights

"Cat, please stop."

"No."

"Catelyn."

"No."

Ned sighed and approached gingerly as he watched her stand on that rickety old stool with a tangled string of blinking lights draping around her ankles.

"I don't need any help. I'm a Tully, and I know how to do my duty, Ned." Her voice shook and she sniffled.

Ned blinked hopelessly, not really understanding what happened. One minute they were settling in to watch a movie; the next minute, she grabbed a stool and started pulling down the Christmas lights.

"But."

"I get it, Ned. I fucked up, okay? I know I was supposed to take them down last week. You don't need to..." she trailed off, leaned a tad too far on the stool for his comfort, and pulled the string off a hook. The stool squeaked.

"Catelyn, please get down." Ned stepped forward, still too afraid to touch her in case she didn't want him to. He was sure she was tired of him always reaching for her. She would untangle from his arms too soon, and move away from him when he tried to hold her in bed. She barely ate any foods he made for her these days too.

Catelyn groaned in frustration as the string got stuck in a hook. Her mood had been irritable lately, and Ned wondered if the dark winters up north had finally started getting to her. She belonged in the summer warmth, where she felt at home. And he'd ripped her away from it when they married last year. Suddenly, a sense of longing ripped through him, and all he wished to do was hold her, but he stood there helplessly.

"I won't touch you, but this is freaking me out, Cat, please step down so we can talk."

She laughed mirthlessly, "Talk the way you talked earlier?"

"What?"

"When you admonished me for not taking down the lights?" She whipped around, the stool rattled, and Ned jerked his hands almost ready to catch in case she fell.

"When...I said 'do we want to keep those lights or take them down'?" his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Yes. I know what you meant. I said I'd do it last week, and I didn't." Her words ran close together as tears ran down her cheek, and he looked at her desperately. He wanted to hold her and tell her it'd be okay, but he wasn't sure what it even was.

"It's just been a rough week, okay!" she exclaimed, yanking the last string of lights down, and he nodded dumbly. "I haven't been sleeping well because I'm not sleeping in your arms because it's so bloody hot in here all the time, and I don't know how to fix the stupid thermostat because it keeps saying it's 20°C but it's way hotter than that. I can't even eat anything; everything makes me nauseous, and I'm living on crackers, Ned!"

Ned stared back at her, his confusion tangling his thoughts. "And on top of all that, I missed my stupid period last month, and this month, ugh-"

Her words crashed into him. "What."

"-so I'm hormonal as fuck... Fuck." Catelyn stopped ranting and stared at him - her blue eyes blinking in the points of lights. "OH FUCK."

Ned stepped into her space now, his heart thudding loudly. "Cat, are you pregnant?"

"I think so... maybe... yes." Her voice was small. "Yes."

Ned hovered over her and looked up at her face.

"Ned..." she reached forward, and that's all he needed to gather her in his arms. He embraced her for a long minute and buried his face in her auburn cloud of hair before putting her down.

Ned lifted her chin and kissed her soundly, tasting the salt on her lips as she murmured, "I still need to take the test and go to an OBGYN." He hummed and kissed her again. They stood there and held each other, swaying gently.

Catelyn turned her head in his arms. "I'm sorry; I don't know what happened to me. You didn't deserve that. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

"Don't apologize. I just... needed to know we're okay."

"We're always okay," She looked up with watery blue eyes, then turned to the tangle of string lights on the floor circling them where they stood.

"Shit..." she muttered under her breath.

Ned chuckled in her hair. "Didn't want to take them down, huh?"

"No..." Catelyn shook her head.

"Hey, let's put 'em back up. All three of us." Ned wriggled his eyebrows and smiled at her brightly.

"You're so cheesy." Catelyn returned his smile. "I love you."

"I love you too. Both of you." Ned leaned forward and kissed her again, pulling her close.

The stress drained from his body, the stool behind them collapsed, and they laughed into their kiss. The string lights blinked away at their feet as Ned Stark held his whole world in his arms.

#ned x cat #writing prompts #anon ask #my fics #ned x cat short fics

[missyourflight]

some stuff i read and watched in december:

the buccanneers: never really hit the heights i wanted it to and most of the cast was not great! but kristine froseth is always watchable and kate winslet's daughter is darling, most importantly scotland doubling for cornwall was beaut. as ever god bless apple for spending money on nonsense

slow horses (s3): i don't know when river cartwright became my shit friend i'm unreasonably fond of but here we are! jack lowden v funny this season and i don't think it's just because i've decided he should be lymond in the billion dollar apple tv series that isn't happening and probably shouldn't bc who else is even blonde (harris dickinson?? i haven't seen the iron claw yet)

monarch: legacy of monsters: i started this and then due to my bad personality decided i had to watch all of the ~monsterverse for context, therefore godzilla december. strong threesome energy in the flashbacks, can't argue with wyatt and kurt russell playing the same character decades apart etc, love a disaster lesbian in crisis etc

~monsterverse interlude: most of these were silly, godzilla: king of the monsters was actively bad, godzilla vs. kong somehow my favourite due to the askars/rebecca hall (long beloved) combo plus all the neon. hollow earth let's go baby!

tokyo godfathers: loved this! love miracles in the city during the holiday season, love to listen to three different podcasts talking about the nuances of trans rep in subtitle translation etc

godzilla minus one: godzilla december! this one made me cryyy, the godzilla theme goes so unbelievably hard, cutest sweetest baby in the world, was incredibly happy to be emotionally manipulated by the endings etc

not going to get into all the christmas film rewatches but: coward's edit of the family stone (repeat the sounding joy!), crying at both little women 94 and little women 19 as per, moonstruck forever, bridget jones' diary colin firth the most sexually appealing colin firth 2 me etc

the wind rises: catching up with miyazaki before the boy and the heron and straight into my ghibli top 3, the love story stuff absolutely floored me

how to have sex: absolutely devastating god

the boy and the heron: very weird and beautiful and sad - saw the dub (robert pattinson you wonderful freak), seeing again with subs this week

jon krakauer, into thin air: a personal account of the everest disaster: i got about halfway through the first chapter and had to stop and ask my dad what the hell he was up to trekking to base camp on his own in the seventies. gripping, chilling, tragic

rose lerner, sailor's delight: rose lerner one of my favourite romance authors (true pretenses i love you forever etc), m/m age of sail romance set around the jewish high holidays with SO much longing and yearning my god

lizzie huxley-jones, make you mine this christmas: fun christmas romance - fake dating but she falls in love with the guy's sister! - that made me burst into tears like five pages in for reasons entirely unrelated to romance or christmas. a 2024 project for soph etc

barbra streisand, my name is barbra: did the audio version so even sped up i reckon i spent at least a full day and a half with barbra. as ever the parts about making things and artistic choices were the best parts, i respect her energy re: including every nice letter or compliment she ever received (my version of this would be reproducing nice ao3 comments etc). wild to me that she spent like 3 decades beefing with larry kramer trying to adapt the normal heart (with bradley cooper at one point lol) but i have to disagree with her impulse to tone down the gay sex to avoid alienating straight people!!

i am not here really but i was proud i managed to keep these little roundups going through the year so. happy new year friends

#monthly media #sophposting

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things

I figure it's probably time for one of these; haven't done one in a while.

The migration of our file storage to Sharepoint at job number one is finally over, HOORAY. It seems to have gone fairly well, but the whole process was much more complicated than it needed to be and the communication/instructions was pretty dire throughout. But it's done and now I can stop masterminding that and go back to cataloguing my files at last.

I'm in the process of organising my catalogue database at job number two, also at last - I started transferring my predecessor's Word lists into it in about 2016 and once everything was in I started categorising everything in about 2020; the categorising is now done, and I'm working through the categories straightening everything out and assigning them numbers so that eventually if it goes into a proper database (it's in Excel at the moment as a convenient holder for the data, but I want to get it into the database at job number one as it would be so much easier to use). And it is DEEPLY satisfying. Everything is finally starting to make sense.

I've been after a pair of purple Doc Martens for most of the year - I got a pair of 'vegan' patent ones from ebay but they are bizarrely narrow and I can't wear them, even in one size up (I usually have no problem at all with Docs, they're always true to size for me but these are awful), and I've been keeping a saved search for the non-vegan blackcurrant 'lamper' ones from a few years ago but they seem quite rare and so far haven't come up in my size. And then last week one of my saved searches came up with a pair of 'purplish blue' glitter ones, in my size (it is a miracle) and they are the perfect shade of purple. I'm picky with my purples, I much prefer the blue-toned shades to the pink-toned ones, and these are just right. I love them so much!

I've finished both my Yuletide assignment (which went in a direction I was definitely not expecting XD ) and a treat for an old friend, so all I need to do is post them and that's that off my plate.

I'm really enjoying this year's English course - it's level 2, after I did the level 3 course first, and it's much easier, more sociolinguistics based, although I think I'm overthinking the assignments because I'm used to working at level 3 now. It's really interesting, so far we've had stuff about the history and spread of English, accents and pronunciation and how to use the Oxford English Dictionary, and for my first assignment I got - dear lord - 100%. Unheard of. I think I had 100% for one of the assignments on the beginner's German course, but I had an unfair advantage on that one because I'd retained a lot of my A-level German from thirty years ago. I actually rather struggled with this assignment (overthinking things, I think, but I found it quite complex) and wasn't expecting to have done nearly that well, so that was very satisfying.

I have one more week of work and then I'm taking three weeks off for Christmas to recharge, study, work on my WIPs with any luck, and just generally chill out. The parents are coming to us for Christmas Day, which will be nice, and they're staying at the pub (it's also a hotel) so we're going to have dinner there with them on Christmas Eve and then have them to ours for Christmas Day. Which means I'm going to have to dig out the decorations and lights, which I wasn't quite sure I was going to bother to do this year, but I think it'll do me good. Light everything as bright as possible and stick two fingers up at the darkness, is my general philosophy at this time of year. :D

I'm doing okay at the moment, I think - I don't usually do very well with winter, but this year seems to be easier than usual somehow. Let's see how I feel come January...

We're greatly enjoying the Doctor Who 60th anniversary specials - Ten and Donna were always our favourites, and it's been so great to see Fourteen being able to go back and resolve Donna's storyline. We rewatched their series and then kept going, because although we did give each new Doctor a try, we never really got on with them because we'd loved Ten so much so we've not actually watched a full series since Ten and Donna; and we're enjoying them now we've a) got a bit of distance, and b) got Ten back as Fourteen, I think XD I'm not very fond of Amy, but Rory is lovely and we've recently 'met' Mark Williams as his dad and he's just wonderful. :D

I'm knitting myself a poncho to wear for work as I bought one a few weeks ago and have been greatly enjoying swishing around in it so I thought I'd make myself another one; it's a bigger project than most of the ones I've done before but so far it's going okay and I'm having fun with it.

As always, if you like this format do feel free to take it and run with it - not compulsory to stick to five (I rarely do) but if you can manage to get up to five it's quite therapeutic, I find. The good things can be as big or as small as you like, much like that 'daily delight' thing that's been going round this year.

#five good things

[thedragonofbadasstemple]

A little late but was tagged by @klutenpetter to do a thing! It supposed to be 9 each of like games, TV, movies, etc that you enjoyed for the first time in 2023, but like him I'm just gonna do nine piece of media overall. I'll do my layout of pictures, showcasing each one via the character(s) that were my favorite from each piece of media, and in the order in which I saw them (approximately).

Buddy Daddies, Jan 2023. Super cute original anime. Really enjoyed the QPR thing the MCs had going on. You don't get a lot of found family media like that.

Golden Kamuy, March 2023. I was sick with the flu and binge read the entire series in like a week. LOVED IN. Filled with beefy studs and its a fun ride from start to end!

Psycho Pass, May 2023. I got into cyberpunk recently and gave this a whirl. Really enjoyed the first season, not so much everything that came after tho LOL.

Komi-San, June 2023. I'll be real, I never would have picked this for myself to watch, be me and boys have been watching stuff together and this was a pick from one of them. My first impression was this was just another dumb waifu bait show, but honestly its super cute and super funny. I enjoyed it a lot and can't wait for season 3!

Yakuza Kiwami, June 2023. I started Yakuza Zero, got halfway through and then stopped in 2022, and finally finshed Zero and got through Kiwami last year. I enjoyed it way more than Zero. I really enjoy Kiryu as a character and hope to start the next game soon!

Undead Girl Murder Farce, July 2023. A seasonal anime I picked up and enjoyed greatly. I think its a fun use of public domain characters and the OCs were delightful. I hope we get another season! It was a real sleeper hit for the season I think.

Columbo, August 2023. Yeah, I watched my first episode of Columbo because of a mystery kick UGMF put me on. The first episode I watched naturally was the first episode. I watched another episode on Christmas. I really enjoy this character, I wish I had more free time for this.

Slay the Princess, November 2023. An indie game I've had my eye on for a while because of ManlyBadassHero. The full thing came out and I really enjoyed it! I highly recommend it if you like spooky and romantic things.

Good Will Hunting, December 2023. Its a classic movie, and its been meme'd to death, and yet I've never watched it before now (Its not [my] fault). On my flight to Spain the plane had tablets built in for every seat where we could watch movies and stuff so I took that opportunity to watch a bunch of films I had never seen before (others were Top Gun, John Wick, and Elemental (which I saw in 2024 but otherwise I enjoyed it the most, a morbid curiosity/hate-watch that I loved unironically). I also got halfway through Mission: Impossible but ran out of time.) I'd recommend giving this a go if you haven't seen it. Its a classic for a reason and might give you dark academia peeps a good time LOL.

For this I'm tagging @solanum-iycopersicum, @netnettart, @shinladyanarki, and @the-jar-of-dirt.

#tag game

[shoelace1200]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers <3

Okay so, 5 things that make me happy:

-My cat Shoelace (my profile picture)

-LEGO. I've loved building with LEGO since I got my first set for my 8th Birthday and haven't stopped since. I like recreate things from my other interests in LEGO and am working on about 4 or 5 projects currently in various stages of completion.

-Portal. My brother introduced me to this game when I was 11 and I really enjoyed it. I didn't play that many games so found some of the timing puzzles and the final boss a little challenging due to not being the smoothest with the controls.

Almost straight after beating the game I went on to Portal 2 and it remains as my favourite game ever. I love the contrast between the two games. The first has a lonely, eery atmosphere whereas the sequel is so full of life with memorable characters and some amazing comedy. I'll never forget beating the game for the first time and experiencing the turret orchestra in all it's glory.

-Doctor Who. My parents watched Doctor Who growing up, so naturally when it came back after a long hiatus in 2005 they sat me and my Brothers down to watch it. And we watched it every Saturday it was on. While I've lost hype for the 60th anniversary somewhat, I am very much excited about the return of the incredible Russell T Davies and the first Christmas special in about 6 years. Also my current favourite Doctor is Peter Capaldi.

-Half-Life. So I played Portal on the Orange box in 2011 but I never really touched the other two games. That was until almost a decade later I decided to check out Half-Life 2 in the summer of 2020. I instantly fell in love with it and questioned why I had never played it before. I played it continuously for weeks on and and I think Episode 2 would have to be my favourite. The Hunters seemed so intimidating at first but they ended up being so much fun to deal with and I love how they are grouped with Striders for the final fight. I even made a LEGO Hunter and am working on a LEGO Combine Gunship.

The great thing about being so late to playing Half-Life is that Half-Life Alyx was out before I even started playing Half-Life 2. My entire life I'd been seeing Half-Life 3 memes so I found it quite funny how I had managed to get the timing so perfect.

#portal #portal 2 #Lego #half life 2

[leftdestiny-posts]

you and your f/o(s) are decorating a tree this holiday season! what kind of decorations are you putting on the tree? 🎄

no pressure in answering, and please take your time! <3

(I got swept up in the moment and wrote some self indulgent Dottiro content TuT I wanted to include Shiirina (shiro/furina) and maybe Shiiao/Xiiro (shiro/xiao) but,,, *eyes the post length* another time? XDD ANYWAYS!!! Thank you SO much for stopping by and sending me an ask ;; I think I needed this)

Somewhere in the early days of December when Snezhnayan streets are flooded with Christmas decorations and Christmas spirit, Dottore would notice my steps slowing as I stop to gaze at the lights. He isn't one to decorate, especially not his lab, so the first few weeks he'd stay silent--only ever observing my reactions and actions. He'd be content with my longing stares until it turns into one of despair. Then, he'd take action and intercept any possible declines in health (as a good doctor would /getsho-)

Of course, if I do ask for a tree before that, a few segments (the ones on break) would be lucky enough to build the faux Christmas tree in the corner of the lab (or get a really small real one, but ever since Omega brought back a tree twice his size, we got stuck with the fake one [Zandik was fuming because the tree kept shedding pine needles]). If I have enough energy though, I'll help set everything up. If not, I'll untangle the lights as much as possible in the meantime (buuuuuuuut,,, Dottore probably made an invention that made it easier to store without tangle hazards).

When the tree is set, the lights will be placed. From top to bottom (I claim bottom side from where I can comfortably reach the lights), around the tree--spiraling down. Once the lights are in, I'll take the navy Christmas garland and stubbornly try to get it in by myself, but I won't reach the top without going on a ladder and they really don't want to risk that with my wonky balance so a responsible segment will jump in and take it from me TuT (booooo)

Then, at last, Zandik shows up for the fun part. Right after the Christmas garland is in the tree, the segments dissappear and he magically shows up. He will appear all smug and nonchalant, saying he had free time and was merely "checking up on the segements" (but they're all gone...?). While he wouldn't take part in hanging the decorations (he prefers to observe and psycho analyse every little choice I make), he is aware of how much his presence is valued (ego boost). He might not like the holiday itself, but he knows how to take care of his favorite patient. (If anyone were to ask him why a blue-silver decorated Christmas tree stood in the middle of his horror filled lab, he'd tell it improved his patient's morale and wellbeing--which technically wasn't a lie)

When I was a teenager, I was hospitalised for a few years. In that time period I lost a loved one and a friend. For me, the holidays are always a bit harder to endure. I sit with guilt, wondering why I would be the one to sit here while they're gone. I'm not sure if I feel guilt for surviving or for them leaving me, but it's hard each year. Last year I was indirectly kicked out (bullied away) by my less-than-good stepdad and I had to celebrate Christmas in an empty home (which destroyed me). I don't find joy in a lot of things, but Christmas was the one time of the year where I'd feel loved because you aren't supposed to be alone. I guess,, over the years this too was taken from me. This year I haven't had the physical energy to set up anything (tree, decoration), so thank you for giving me the chance to do so. Even if it's imaginary and temporary, for a moment I felt like someone could see and be with me. For a moment I felt like I too deserved Christmas and a day of solidarity.

If he were out on a mission during Christmas, he'd send a box with a new (blue) decoration. It wouldn't have a letter attached to it, long letters and love declarations aren't his style in this form, but his signature and the fact that he spent time to get it at all is enough to realize that he cares. And that's more than enough.

> the decorations itself would be blue, silver, or white, with a few made out of glass. Delicate but pretty things, though, unfortunately they tend to get broken more often then not.