#CHEWY FETUS

[yumenotambourin]

NOOO I FORGOT FORGO WAS ID-F86 TOO FUCK

HAPPY FORGO DAY TOOO!!!!

#fecto forgo #forgo #IM SORRY BB I LOVE YOU #CHEWY FETUS #😭😭😭 #NOOOOOO

[f1reacts]

#happy chewis announcement to everyone that celebrates #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #ferrari #mercedes amg petronas #for now… #fetus racing

[voxofthevoid]

I would love to get a closer look at your thoughts about choso's characterization with #09. (That is the correct title, right?) The pieces you've given us of your viewpoint of him are very chewy.

It is! I'm delighted you remembered the name 💜 And it's great to know you find those bits chewy.

The thing with characterization is that I tend to figure it out via writing. My first JJK fic helped me nail Gojou, the second Yuuji, and prophetic self-destruction is how I dug into Chōsō. IIRC, I started writing this shortly after everyone regrouped after the Megumikuna incident to unseal Gojou. In addition to Chōsō's...everything regarding Yuuji, something that really caught my eye was the implication that Yuuji ate (or will eat) the remaining Death Paintings and that Chōsō was alright, even glad in a roundabout way, with it:

(Side note: That last panel, sweet jesus. Gege can't draw Chōsō looking at Yuuji with that expression and not expect me to go feral about it.)

Between these scenes and the ones at Shibuya, there's a lot to bite into. Chōsō exhibits an immense degree of devotion toward Yuuji, and brocon jokes aside, it isn't a healthy attitude. This isn't a complaint; no one in JJK is sane, and the ones who are don't seem very interesting. Chōsō seems to have made his brothers his raison d'etre; it's there from the first scenes with Esō and Kechizu, and it only becomes more obvious when you see how quickly and intensely he latches onto Yuuji. And fair enough! The guy spent 150 years as a sentient shrunken fetus. There are worse coping mechanisms. I also like that his attachment and adoration toward Yuuji don't manifest as over-protectiveness or possessiveness. Like I said above, it's devotion that characterizes Chōsō—but it's also somewhat one-sided.

Yuuji seems fond of Chōsō at the current point in canon, but there's still a clear imbalance there. Despite telling the others to think of Chōsō as his big brother, I don't think Yuuji has quite processed that himself. That also makes sense because he went from having no living family to a villainous mother and some very strange brothers, two of whom he killed, in the span of six fucking months (I'm assuming here that the near-death memory he has of Jin and Kaori is something he does remember now, as that scene and its aftermath heavily imply). Frankly, I don't think Yuuji's had time to sit down and think about half the shit that's happened to him during and after Shibuya. It might even be best for his sanity that he doesn't bother just yet. Point is, you get the sense that Yuuji values Chōsō as an ally and genuinely likes him as a person, but those feelings are nowhere near as intense as Chōsō's utter devotion. To quote myself from another ask I answered about chosoita, "that contrast of complete, immediate devotion and cautious, burgeoning affection makes me want to do unholy things to them both."

To situate all this in the context of prophetic self-destruction via some examples—

The narrative starts when Yuuji doesn't think Chōsō is his brother but knows that Chōsō believes it. When he initiates sex (as a sort of reciprocation for Chōsō letting Yuuji eat him), incest isn't even on his mind except as a "this might be weird to this guy" way. And when he later realizes they are blood relations, one of the first things he asks Chōsō is why he let Yuuji fuck him. This is the response:

“You…” Chōsō shrugs. “You asked.”

Later, once Gojou enters the picture, you have this exchange:

“Is that all it takes to get in your good books? Someone...caring about me?” “Gojou Satoru will never be in my good books,” Chōsō says, staring off into space with a dead-eyed expression that softens the next second as he refocuses on Yuuji.  “But I’m not a complicated person at all. I want my brothers happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t know or trust that man, but I do trust you. And if he makes you happy, I want that for you.”

(Don't worry, this fic still has chosoita and goyuu both as the endgame; the relationships just have different developments and dynamics.)

...I might have gotten a little carried away, but it comes down to the appeal of Chōsō's and Yuuji's starkly different feelings for each other and the differing degrees of their respective attachment.

#thearchaticarchitect #i love my anons #chosoita #cw: incest #fic: prophetic self destruction #wip open season

[spidersunday]

this boba fucking sucks the pearls are so hard and the chewiness makes me feel like im nibbling on an aborted fetus

#severin.txt #is that description over the line #idgaf i stole it from someone on twitter #i need to get actual boba instead of the nasty overpriced store-bought shit

[theramseyloft]

7/4/21 Loft Notes

Loft Notes:

Barron and Passenger seem to have become a thing.

Nobu tread Amiga

Creampuff and Artemis both jumped in my lap.

I have a lap Imp

Scan briefly came to see me.

Nettle's egg is fertile, making him officially a grown-ass man.

The cock currently highest on the list to retire is Pippin, for his flighty genes.

He has a home lined up, but just hatched a peep out of Lucy.

Once they wean, we'll bring him in and prepare to send him home.

Hmm...

On second thought, it might be better to retire Farthing.

Once Pippin is out of the picture, Farthing may try to woo Lucy.

And the Almond gene is homozygous lethal.

Patron: "Farthing doesn't seem particularly great at like, having children without you seeing him tread the hens though? it seems a bit of a shame to retire him on a possibility from an outside pov considering iirc you really liked his structure and mellow personality and yet his only contribution will end up being Lucy"

"if they pair up and you remove the eggs asap then the homozygous lethal problem will not happen as the fetus will not develop on time and he can then 100% be bumped up in the retirement list while you birth control them"

Patron: "I was just reading about what makes almond homozygous lethal and I can see the concern with almond being a dominant gene. Has he shown interest in Lucy? Beyond his usual I mean?"

Yes. The only reason he isn't after her presently is her clear preference for Pippin.  While Pippin had Cookie, Lucy preferred Farthing.

Lucy is contribution enough, especially with so many young cocks about to come of age.

It isn't a low possibility that Farthing and Lucy will pair once Pippin is gone.  It is practically a guarantee, with a minor chance that they won't.

On that, retiring Farthing is better for the flock.

I am very ill at the moment. I actually pulled this up to say that Bird-Bird's remains keep getting pulled out into the same place in the yard.

Not by an animal.

They aren't chewed.

Just lifted from where they were decomposing and set in the grass.

This has happened every few days since she died.

So this time, I gave her remains to the one hill of fire ants halfway across the yard that I maintain peace with.

Let's see the hateful fuckers dig her out now.

Patron: "Think its kids doing it?"

Humans, of what ever age.

If it's kids playing in my bushes that just don't want to deal with a gross thing, for one thing, why dig her up? But for the other, she isn't in the bushes anymore, so hopefully they'll leave her the fuck alone.

That corner of the holly is where especially loved pets of mine are burried.

So it's extremely upsetting that that site is now being dug up and disturbed.

Bluh.

The price of Royal Wing Classic Mix has gone up to $27.99 a bag.

Thaaaat's gonna suck.

We go through two of those bags a week.

Patron: "How much was it previously?"

$24.99 last week.

Patron: "That's nearly an extra bag of seed a month at the previous price"

Yeah, that's a significant jump.

Patron: "It adds up to a quarter of a year extra you're paying for"

wasn't it about this time last year that it jumped up from $19.99 to $24.99?

Patron: "it used to be 19.99????????? double oof. why is it increasing so much??"

Patron: "Have you considered buying feed from Chewy? the least expensive pigeon feed on there is $24.70. n shipping is free if you buy 2 or more bags. it seems like thats what all the racers do nowadays"

Patron: "Ya, I think at that price you should switch to Chewy. https://www.chewy.com/versele-laga-classic-pigeon-food/dp/259128"

Holy shit!

Shipping is the whole reason I wasn't getting that blend in the first place!

I wouldn't have to add the extra beans and safflowers!

Ordered for next week.

Patron: "Chewy has good customer service too. (In case you get a bag with weevils or something). They are very quick to send out a new one after chatting about any problems."

Today was Grocery Day.

We spent $17.27 at TSC on Perpethrine ($15.99) and tax ($1.28)

$60.46 at another TSC on 2 50lb bags of Royal Wing Classic Mix ($27.99 x 2) and tax ($4.48)

and $56.16 at Chewy.com on 2 50lb. bags of corn free Verse-Laga pigeon feed ($26 x 2) and tax ($4.16) Shipping was free.

Bringing our PayPal Balance to $329.38

[rainybirdsweets]

Xylitol Research and Evidence

Xylitol is a non-sugar sweetener extracted from the birch tree. It is a five-carbon polyol that has effectively demonstrated itself to be cariogenic, by its action of neutralizing plaque acidity on teeth and repairing tooth enamel. Hence, it is also called the “magic bullet.”

The major production of xylitol goes to the pharmaceutical and oral hygiene industries and to confectionary manufacturers. It has 30% less calories compared to table sugar (calorific value of xylitol is 2.4 kcal/g, while that of sugar is 4 kcal/g) and is used in different food products for children like chewing gum, candies, gelatin, and in lozenges, toothpaste, and mouth rinses.

Xylitol and Dental Caries

Clinical trials on xylitol show that it plays a major role in prevention of dental caries in babies and teenaged children and in the fetus through the mother. Use of xylitol chewing gum is directly related to reduction of dental caries. Moreover, xylitol also reduces the s. mutans transmission from mother to infant.

Another research on children has found that xylitol candy, pops, ice, gums, puddings, and cookie help in arresting dental caries. Follow-up studies five years later showed that xylitol gum resulted in reduction of caries by 59% against no gum use.

Trials conducted in Finland, a major producer of xylitol, proved that children of xylitol-treated mothers’ had lower levels of s. mutans than those treated with fluoride varnish or chlorhexidine.

Other Impacts of Xylitol

Accumulation of excessive xylitol in the intestine leads to retention of water, which results in diarrhea. Consumption of excessive volumes of xylitol can lead to side effects such as gas and bloating. Xylitol which remains unabsorbed is eliminated after being broken into carbon dioxide. A report published by the European Union’s Scientific Committee on Food in 1985 stated that consuming 50 g of xylitol per day can lead to diarrhea. The Committee also affirmed that tabletop sweeteners that contain xylitol must be highlighted with a warning saying: “Too much of consumption may lead to laxative effects.”

The impact of xylitol is much less on the blood sugar levels compared with natural sugar, because of the gradual absorption rate of xylitol. This fact was approved in a xylitol review by the European Food Safety Authority (EFSA). This indicates that xylitol could help people with disrupted tolerance of glucose, a leading risk factor for cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

Health benefits and risks of chocolate

Chocolate is made from tropical Theobroma cacao tree seeds. Its earliest use dates back to the Olmec civilization in Mesoamerica.

After the European discovery of the Americas, chocolate became very popular in the wider world, and its demand exploded.

Chocolate has since become a popular food product that millions enjoy every day, thanks to its unique, rich, and sweet taste.

Fast facts on chocolate

Chocolate consumption has long been associated with conditions such as diabetes, coronary heart disease, and hypertension.

Chocolate is believed to contain high levels of antioxidants.

Some studies have suggested chocolate could lower cholesterol levels and prevent memory decline.

Chocolate contains a large number of calories.

People who are seeking to lose or maintain weight should eat chocolate only in moderation.

History of Candy

Candy is made by dissolving sugar in water or milk to form syrup. The final texture of candy depends on the different levels of temperatures and sugar concentrations. Hot temperatures make hard candy, medium heat make soft candy and cool temperatures make chewy candy. The English word ''candy'' is in use since the late 13th century and it derives from Arabic qandi, meaning ''made of sugar''.

Honey has been a favorite sweet treat throughout recorded history and is even mentioned in the Bible. The ancient Egyptians, Arabs and Chinese candied fruits and nuts in honey which was an early form of candy. One of the oldest hard candies is barley sugar which was made with barley grains. The Mayans and the Aztecs both prized the cocoa bean, and they were the first to drink chocolate. In 1519, Spanish explorers in Mexico discovered the cacao tree, and brought it to Europe. People in England and in America ate boiled sugar candy in the 17th century.

Sour candy trends

Sour candy has captured the attention and taste buds of consumers who look for confectionery experiences outside of the standard of sweet, says Steve Schuster, president of Wisconsin-based Schuster Products, which makes a line of sour products called Face Twisters.

“It is extreme, and people like to push their sensation of taste,” he said. “They are now accustomed to this taste sensation and seek it because it moves beyond the norm.”

Jenny Doan, director of marketing for Warheads maker Impact Confections, agreed. She pointed to consumers’ palates becoming increasingly daring, especially as consumers experience more global cuisine.

“Globalization has exposed consumers to more sour foods across many categories — examples include Greek yogurt, fermented Korean kimchi, Chinese sour plums, etc.” she said. “Also food preparation techniques such as fermentation and pickling are gaining in popularity and spurring development for more sour foods and beverages.”

And the products in development come from several confectionery categories, including chewing gum, hard candy and chewy candy. Chewy candy also has experienced steady growth over the last few years. IRI, a Chicago-based research firm, reported the $3.73 billion non-chocolate chewy category grew by 3 percent in the year ending Feb. 24, 2019.

Of the Top 20 non-chocolate chewy candy brands IRI tracks, a quarter of them are positioned as sour candy, and at least another quarter have sour line extensions. Mondelez International’s Sour Patch Kids pulled in just over $197 million in the reporting period, while Trolli Sour Brite Crawlers generated $133.6 million.

The Untold Truth Of Gummy Bears

There are the people who love to munch on chocolate bars, from Butterfingers to Snickers, indulging in the perfect combination of sweet and salty. And then there are the candy lovers who are obsessed with anything chewy, gooey, and gummy. Gummy candies only seem to be rising in popularity, and really, there's a gummy candy in pretty much every shape out there at this point.

But despite the introduction of gummy candies like frogs, butterflies, and even mini soda bottles, gummy bears will forever be one of the most iconic gummy candies we turn to.

But what's the story behind these little gummy bears? How did they get their start, and what's in them that makes them so perfectly chewy? They're a ridiculously satisfying sweet when you're trying to curb a craving, but as it turns out, there's a lot more to their story than meets the eye. We decided to grab a handful and dig a little deeper. This is the untold truth of gummy bears.

The History of Lollipop Candy

The first incarnation of the lollipop candy was probably created by cave people thousands of years ago who collected honey from beehives with a stick. Not wanting to waste the sweet nectar, they most likely licked the stick, thus inventing the world’s first lollipop. Good for them (good for us). Archaeologists believe that ancient Chinese, Arabs, and Egyptians all produced fruit and nut confections that they "candied" in honey, which serves as a preservative, and inserted sticks into to make easier to eat.If the 17th Century English version doesn’t count as the first modern lollipop, you could look to the Civil War era for another early forerunner, when hard candy was put on the tips of pencils for children. The early 20th Century was the era of automation, which is when the birth of the lollipop as we now know it begins in earnest, but there are still discrepancies as to who is the true creator.

What Is Chewing Gum?

Chewing gum is a soft, rubbery substance that’s designed to be chewed but not swallowed.

Recipes can vary between brands, but all chewing gums have the following basic ingredients:

Gum: The non-digestible, rubbery base used to give gum its chewy quality.

Resin: Usually added to strengthen gum and hold it together.

Fillers: Fillers, such as calcium carbonate or talc, are used to give gum texture.

Preservatives: These are added to extend shelf life. The most popular choice is an organic compound called butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT).

Softeners: These are used to retain moisture and prevent the gum from hardening. They can include waxes like paraffin or vegetable oils.

Sweeteners: Popular ones include cane sugar, beet sugar and corn syrup. Sugar-free gums use sugar alcohols like xylitol or artificial sweeteners like aspartame.

Flavorings: Added to give a desired flavor. They can be natural or synthetic.

Candy

candy, also called confectionery, sweet food product, the main constituent of which generally is sugar. The application of the terms candy and confectionery varies among English-speaking countries. In the United States candy refers to both chocolate products and sugar-based confections; elsewhere “chocolate confectionery” refers to chocolates, “sugar confectionery” to the various sugar-based products, and “flour confectionery” to products such as cakes and pastries. This article is primarily concerned with sugar confectionery. Other types of confections are discussed in the articles baking and cocoa.

[unprofessionalreviews]

STAR WARS - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER 🌌

WARNING ⚠️ Spoilers Ahead

Overall analysis: I just wanna start out by saying that I loved this movie and I will accept no hate for it, only constructive criticism. The first time I saw the movie I was satisfied, the second - overjoyed. I realized that it had done everything I needed it to.

Here’s a list of what I loved the most -

Somehow they managed to give Leia a plot and I’m SO GRATEFUL BECAUSE ITS SO GOOD

L A N D O returning - I mostly like this because my mom didn’t expect it and then he took off his helmet and she just about cried it was PRECIOUS - and “give Leia my love”

Also, did we get a hint at a Lando side spinoff or am I just fooling myself?

fetus Luke and Leia training - YES

Leia as Rey’s “master” and the fact that SHE HAD A LIGHTSABER

Constant references to the bond between Like and Leia

Luke catching his light saber out of the fire and then being like SHOW IT SOME RESPECT WILL YA

also... red 5... when he brought his X Wing up I about had a heart attack of happiness, that’s really all I needed, for Rey to fly it and I didn’t even know

Ben and Rey’s bond and thAT MOMENT WHEN THEY BOTH HOLD UP THE LIGHTSABERS YES

Ben’s redemption and when he and Leia returned to the force I JUST -

ok so I REALLY DIDNT SHIP REYLO and then... well and then he smiled and I REALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT HE HAD NEVER SMILED UNTIL HE DID AND IT KILLED ME AND IM SO HAPPY AND SAD BUT IT WAS CINEMATIC GOLD I GOTTA TELL YA

Also, when she gave him the light saber using their bond, THAT WAS HOT

Han appearing to Ben and instead of Ben stabbing him again (lol that would be stupid) he THREW THAT UGLY HUNK O JUNK INTO THE SEE - YES BEN

I guessed that Rey was a Palpatine - I feel pretty fantastic about that one

Luke and Leia training her despite knowing who she was

They ACCEPTED HER AS THEIR OWN AND SHE BECAME A SKYWALKER

When the Emperor threw Kyle down the shaft and said something like “thus dies the last Skywalker” and everyone be like HA YOU THOUGHT

Rey hearing the voices of the Jedi GOT ME cause she now knew SHE KNEW SHE WAS A JEDI AND SHE DIDNT HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF HER POWER ANYMORE BECAUSE SHE KNEW IT CAME FROM THE LIGHT

Murdering Palpatine and ENDING THE EMPIRE FOREVER WITH LEIA AND LUKES LIGHT SABERS YEEEES

The burial of the sabers at Tatooine - this scene was the only one that made me cry - but I cried BOTH TIMES - FOR AN UNCOMFORTABLE FOR EVERYONE SITTING AROUND ME AMOUNT OF TIME (the first showing - I legit cried for like 7 minutes straight)

Rey didn’t end up with a man cause she a queen 👑 (although RIP Ben, they might of been cute but also this was better, DONT @ ME)

ALSO WE STAN FORCE HEALING ITS HONESTLY SO POWERFUL - LIKE WHAT A WAY TO GO COMPLETELY GIVING YOUR LIFE FOR THE WOMAN YOU LOVE

ALSO THE REDEMPTION OF THE PEOPLE THEY ASKED TO HELP THEM IS SO GOOD - “good people will fight if we lead them”

Rey and Finn and Poe being adorable at the end and reflecting Luke, Leia, and Han - I’LL MISS THEM SO MUCH WOW

Also Poe’s “wanna make out face” and then his “yeah that makes sense” follow up to Dorii was low key hilarious

Poe in general is pretty hilarious and fantastic character like wow

Chewy, C3PO, and R2D2 being the nostalgic masterpieces I didn’t know I needed them to be

Also my mom though Babu Frik’s name was Bubble Freak and I -

To wrap this up I gotta say I will always hold Star Wars on a pedestal in my mind because it was a big part of my childhood and my nowhood so I gotta say thank you. Thank you for headstrong and badass female characters. Thank you for constantly showing the importance of family - by blood or not. Thank you for showing the importance of Hope and how no matter what happens, we must never lose it. Even when we fall, we can rise again.

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #spoilers #rey #reylo #palpatine #finn #poe dameron #kylo ren #Leia Organa #Luke Skywalker #Han Solo #Chewbacca #R2D2 #C3PO #movies #unprofessional review #hope #babu frick #lando calrissian #Ben solo

[meatmeinthemiddle-mark]

could you do your ship your mutuals but with like a summer theme? Like what kinds of summer dates they would go on or what they would do in the summer and how it would go?

DAMN THIS GON BE LONG PREPARE URSELF! Bang Chan: When I think of Bang Chan i think of staying up really late at night and working really hard on a project or something so i would put him on a date with @bangchanmix !! i feel like rena ALSO DOESNT SLEEP MUCH (its 70% true she always asks me to sleep but think abt it, we live in the same country and its 2am ??? go to sleep rena) so like the date will be really casual like going out to the convenience store by han river and buying ramen + cheese sticks + beer and then eating it together. its probably like 1am by the time they went out so theres that cooling night breeze and the relaxing river in front of them oooooooooooooooo Woojin: SOFT BOY HAS TO GO ON A CAFE HOPPING / SHOPPING DATE WITH @stk0t9 !! I ACTUALLY THINK THEY'LL FIT VERY WELL BECAUSE OF HOW EASILY MADDY GETS SOFT AND SENTIMENTAL ABOUT EVERYTHING!! Maddy will capture lots of photos of the food and woojin and woojin trying out all sorts of outfits. Then after she takes a photo she'll stay silent for a moment and out of the blue "I really appreciate you and your beautiful face" and then scarfs down a pastry, woojin will just be taken aback by the sudden compliment and them scunches his face in a cute way AAAHHMinho: OK SO MINHO GOES ON A DATE WITH @minhomygod AND HE TAKES HER TO A ZOO,, hear me out hear me out,, they go to a petting zoo first and Rach will be excited to see all the tiny animals she can touch and then she goes to touch a like a goat or smth. BUT THE GOAT MAKES A NOISE AND RACH JUMPS. Minho will laugh his ass off BUT he'll guide her hand to help pet the goat and even feed it (smooth) after the petting zoo they'll go to the reptile section where u can just iMAGINE MINHO STANDING SO CLOSE TO ALL THE SNAKE EXHIBITS THAT HIS BREATH CAUSES CONDENSATION ON IT. "Rach, I want to take one of these snakes home" Rach will be uber done with him and drag his impulsive ass out of the snake exhibit so they can see more cute animals like otters! Changbin: SUMMER = HOT = I DONT WANNA BE OUTSIDE = LETS GO ICE SKATING! I feel like he'll bring @softspearb to an ice skating rink to escape being all sticky and sweaty in the hot weather. He'll try to show off how great he is at ice skating in front of Ty and fall on his ass. Ty laugh the H e C C out of the situation and then skates off without him (she's tryna make changbin chase her ;) ) Then Changbin stands up and skates as fast as he can and they'll be those people on the ice holding hands and circling around,,they'll do little games like binnie pulling ty behind him and vice versa, heh Hyunjin: Even though summer has the worst heat to wait under the sun in he'll probably still take @hyyunjinn to an amusement park HAHA, first Cici will lecture him about how hot as hell it is but then falls into Hwang Hyunjin's pout and will do whatever to keep that boy happy. Hyunjin probably buys a drink for her everytime she finishes one bc he lowkey feels guilty that he dragged her out to stand under the sun for a rollercoaster ride. I ACTUALLY DK IF CICI CAN HANDLE RIDES? BUT IF SHE CANT hyunjin will hold her hand really tightly every single time and then flashes that perfect smile "dont worry, I'm here" then squeezes her hand, cici probably screams anyways HAHAJisung: JISUNG AND @maaatryoshka GOING TO KAREOKE PLACE AND JUST SINGING THEIR CUTE LIL HEARTS OUT, imagine the amount of laughs they'll share when the other fails to hit a note. Erin will probably be shy to sing in the beginning but she'll start to warm up once she starts rapping to one of the Stray Kids songs in the machine (rmb when Erin rapped to Matroshyka damn) Jisung will be hella impressed then does a full bow infront of her. JISUNG THEN FIGHTS BACK BY SINGING I LIKE YOU BY DAY6 FOR HER but then his poor voice cracked and ruined the sweet moment aaaaww but erin loves him anyway, i envision them just drinking a lot of iced drinks and eating lots of potato chips that afternoonFelix: Y O, LEE FELIX AND @hey-hey-chan AT WATERPARKS!! Aussie boy probably loves his waterparks and i think kris just recently went to one?? All you can hear from them is just their damn screams as they slide down a waterslide, Kris will probably have to calm Felix everytime they take on a new ride bc Felix is hella scared and Kris is hella enjoying the fact that Felix is scared. She'll laugh at him for a second but then calm him down once they reach the splash pool. They'll go onto one of those waterslides where u race the other person and Kris will win the race and just tease Felix the entire day with "OH MY GOD I WON! I WON! I BEAT FELIX!" And the probably made a bet where the loser has to buy the winner food "I WON"Seungmin: OH MY LORD WHERE DO I START?? I think arcade dates suit Seungmin and he'll go with @busanjeongin OO A NEW CONCEPT!! Seungmin will definitely try to win a huge ass toy from the crane machine for Chewy but I feel like she's an arcade master and she'll win SO MANY TICKETS and get a huge teddy bear prize herself and give it to seungmin instead HAHAHA. They'll try to play the car racing games but then give up bc the both of them would end up last in the race and just play DDR the rest of the time they are there. OR OR OR if THERES A RHYTHM GAME SEUNGMIN CAN EXPOSE HIS SKILLS AS A RHYTHM MASTER AND SLAY HITTING THE BEATS EVERYTIME, CHEWY WILL GO TO THE TAIKO DRUM AND ALSO GET A PERFECT SCOREJeongin: *cracks knuckles* its time to put my baby fetus ( @doublekn0t ) together with him and make them go city sightseeing, I think the both of them are actually pretty mature for their age and they are hopefully RESPONSIBLE enough to not get lost! J will be using her map in phone and will be able to understand how to get to a location really quickly while Jeongin is struggling to hold the map right side up. THINK ABOUT IT, Jeongin will be using that cute hello kitty polaroid of his and take so many pictures of them together or J with a really pretty view in the background aaaawwww. They would probably be cautious walking into stores by themselves so they probably play rsp and the loser has to walk into the store first heh cuties

[felixthekoala]

Hii :)) who in stray kids do each of the ppl in the skidznet gc remind you of??? The ones you know!! 💞

oookey I knew this day would come XD….

Chan ~ @hey-hey-chan heLLO 2ris????  They’re so OBVIOUSLY the same person (that is if Kris isn’t Jae.. kroilet anyone??)

Woojin ~ @awoojinstan Someone says Woojin, I instantly think of Saika. Idk if it’s because she’s like him or just because she loves him sm XD

Minho ~ @meatmeinthemiddle-mark idk why, she just gives MinhoE vibes XD

Changbin ~ @versekiller I gotta say it.  J just is Binnie.  She pretends she’s all edgy and tough and evil but she’s really a cute smol fetus

Hyunjin ~ @straykidschangbin for some reason ty comes to mind.  I’m not sure, they‘re both aesthetic and artsy. 

Jisung ~ @minhomygod rach just is so bright and happy and sweet?  Like she’s a ball of sunshine just like this dood

Felix ~ dare I say both halves of 2rin XD  @strgaykids and @maaatryoshka both just remind me of felix (not just cuz I ship myself with them as well XD)  They’re both a talented hoot and a half and they’re so lovable and like Felix, they’re koala-ty people  (I hate myself for that I’m so sorry)

Seungmin ~ @busanjeongin  Chewy just seems like such a confident little savage like this dork here XD

Jeongin ~ @welcometochanskitchen courtneyyyy

#asks #anon

[ayursakhi-blog]

Kimia Dates

Kimia Dates

Buy Mazafati dates Online - Irani Khajoor - Kimia Dates

Premium Mazafati Date Palm tree is a natural category to Iran, called Kimia dates or Bami dates.

A long time ago, you will find references for these in our old textbooks that it was brought to India for sale by lots of traders in those days who came to India for trade from the Middle East countries.

According to lots of books and historians, the date palm tree was first seen or came from the country now it is called Iraq.

It is a Fresh Harvest that is Imported directly from UAE.

It is packed in a fine classy box with a hinge & lock mechanism for the box.

These boxes are made from Food-grade quality material, which is transparent in color.

You can store it in the freezer.

It is safe if required & boxes are washable.

With a pleasant caramel taste, and are one of the natural most delectable gifts.

They are a bit medium-sized soft, and chewy with a bit of dark brown to black color with a moist texture.

It is a natural product or Plants fruit with no Artificial Flavours, No Artificial Colours, or Preservatives.

These are sourced from middle east UAE.

There are natural and tasty snacks for your kids and adults like you.

It helps and boosts instant energy.

It can be used by Post operations patients and others who want to do weight gain and Post gym workout for muscle building.

Mazafati dates buy online.

Now buy this product online in India. We deliver Pan India almost all pin codes in India.

Irani Khajoor Dried Fruits

Irani Khajoor is one of the best date fruits, which are packed with essential minerals and vitamins.

Good for Heart Health and Heart disease as it is with little fats and cholesterol.

They are low Glycemic Index food with 48 of Glycemic Index, packed with a lot of taste and sweetness in a small bite.

They're a natural, tasty fructose source, a natural sugar found in Mazafati dates.

Some of the health professionals say eating one date every day is right for your health.

You can eat these as they are your favorite snacks and fast energy booster. You could find it as a bit of Medical advice by lots of dietitians they will suggest you add in various diet plans.

There are many other ways to eat dates as often as consumed directly but can eat it in various dishes and culinary for taste and better results.

However, They are delicious in fiber. If eaten in moderation, Diabetics can use it as an energy booster. It satisfies your sweet tooth.

They contain 1.83-5.3% protein, 65.5% carbohydrates, 6.8-9.32% fat, 7.17-9% moisture, 0.89-1.57% ash, and 6.4-13.6% fiber, as well as estrone, sterols, and an alkali-soluble polysaccharide.

Bone Health

Mazafati Dates are packed with a good minerals source, like calcium, potassium, phosphorus, and magnesium.

They are perfect for bones and help potentially prevent bone-related conditions like osteoporosis in our body.

Weight Gain

Dried fruits like fresh dates, currants, apricots, prunes, sultanas, figs, and raisins contain high calories.

It helps to become an excellent option for healthy weight gain.

This dry fruit tends to pack 3–4 times more micronutrients and vitamins.

These are Varieties of dates that help muscle building and act like energy balls that you could prepare at home or called khajur laddu.

Alzheimer's Disease

This dried fruit may help prevent plaques and reduce inflammation from developing in the brain, which is a bit important for preventing Alzheimer's disease.

Pregnant Women

It helps promote lower and ease of labor pain for pregnant women when eaten during the last weeks of pregnancy by Pregnant women.

It also contains Vitamin K and Iron, which is required for a fetus to grow.

Those who are allergic to this, please avoid this from your diet.

Please consult with the doctor before eating this.

They are high in fiber. It may help in preventing blood sugar levels and constipation.

It helps Strengthen your Nervous System.

Mazafati Date Specification

• Name: Mozafati or Mazafati Dates or Bam Dates or Irani Khajoor

• Variety: Semi Fresh and Fresh

• Color: Black

• Shape: Thick, Oval

• Skin: Very Thin, Soft, Flat, fleshy, Fully-cling to the flesh

• Size: Small, Medium & Large

• Moisture: 14% – 25 %

• Usage: Used more for direct consumption.

• Place of Origin: Iran

Recipes we can make with Mazafati Dates.

Dates Syrup:

Date syrup contains top levels of iron that is effective for treating anemia, and its high fiber is crucial in the treatment of constipation.

Many more recipes like:-

Chocolate Covered Stuffed Dates:

Coconut Date Energy Bites.

Coconut Date Bars

#kimiadates #Kimia #kimiadatesonline #buykimiadates #buykimiadatesonline

[bloodycalligraphy]

multi-purpose-tool-guy replied to your post:

im just gonna.... scoot in here and uh..... enable you..... scoot scoot....

OK hear me out. Here’s some TLJ-based Kylux mpreg thoughts.

I think Snoke always knew Kylo was the knock-off brand of what he really wants. That Kylo is broken by the fact that he FEELS SO MUCH and he lets his feelings drag him around even though he clearly wishes he wasn’t like this. He was probably always like this. 

And Hux? Hux is useful but Hux lacks the sort of power that Kylo has by birth and breeding. Also he’s an absolutely sucking void of a human being with bile where other people have blood. He’s easy enough to control, but mostly exactly as you would a dog — reward it when it’s good and make sure it knows you could beat it if it’s not. Watch the teeth. Don’t take your eyes off it.

They’ll be steps to power, but are they really going to be heirs to his vision? Or are they the tools he’ll use until he can get better, shinier, less buggy and broken ones?

I’d like to thank the Rlos who want Rey to “continue the Skywalker line” because that sure sounds like the exact sort of shit you could feed Kyle Ron to make him do some Fucking Weird Shit and well, General, just lie back and think about the Empire. Kyle has probably never seen junk that wasn’t his own and the one Knight that he kissed once got sent out by Snoke to some planet acid-spitting worms and came back with their lips melted shut by scar tissue. And frankly I’m not sure anyone has ever in his life taught Hux that sex is about anything other than Power and Pain.

Anyway, Kyle over here’s like literally twice as wide as Armie, so obviously he’s got the space in that refrigerator-size torso for whatever demonspawn comes out of this.

Throw in some Force garbage about how if Kylo doesn’t spend a certain amount of time around Hux regularly he feels like he’s gonna puke his kidneys out because this INCREDIBLY FORCE SENSITIVE fetus would like to vibe with whatever weird vibes Hux gives off. Actually they’re probably very chill. Since he’s only got one (1) emotion: Hatred. And he’s got a boss and a PAIN IN THE ASS who can read his mind, I’m sure the inside of his brain is WMD blueprints and elevator music most of the time.

So they chill. They don’t... like each other? But maybe they realize that they’ve made some misjudgments and now they’re actually even better prepared to murder each other.

Hux starts researching weapons that a lightsaber can’t block. Force-resistant materials. He starts packing a couple extra energy blades on his body at all times. He buys a slug-shooting rifle and starts carrying it damn near everywhere.

Kylo is still gonna be killing his dad and getting gut-shot by a wookie and finding the true power of hatred after THE ANGRIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD hands him his own ass on a platter, obviously. You could stuff a whole watermelon in that boy and it would not slow him down. But it’s fucking with his head. Are his priorities... right? What does it all mean? Existential crisis with a side of his body literally doesn’t belong to him and he didn’t choose this at any point and WHY IS HE DOING ANY OF THIS AT ALL

Things explode. Things still very, very much explode.

And that’s going to be rather important, really, because Hux knows he can rebuild a planet-sized weapon and he can buy a new warship and he can train a hundred thousand more child soldiers. Every life except his own is replaceable and it always, always has been.

And Kylo is thinking obsessively about family, about his parents, about his childhood, about his life and where it has lead him, about right and wrong, light and dark. 

But all things must come to an end? And the boy sith who would be supreme leader doesn’t have enough time to telepathically tell Rey NOT to swing by really not a good time right now. 

Kylo gets his guts excavated by unfeeling, uncaring medical robots because this is a hideous dystopia of reproductive rights or something. Hux is there because, well, he’s a little bit of a sadist everyone knows that. That’s the only possible reason he could be there, isn’t it?

Haha no. He’s gonna make eye contact with that blue-eyed, screaming creature and all the crazy in that heavily hair-gelled head is gonna skew in exactly the expected ways. Because, well, he can BUILD another weapon. He can BUILD another army. But he can’t BUILD a fucking baby. Or well, he could, but it wouldn’t be this exact baby, now would it? And honestly, honestly? Why would he build any other? This one is PERFECT. He made that and it’s his and he would rather drown in his own blood than let anyone hurt it. 

(See? He’s not his father after all. He cannot even understand his father in this moment. He has always known himself to be weak and sought to protect himself. Now here is the weakest imaginable version of himself and he feels that same urge. It’s his and he will protect it or he will die. That has always been the only two options.)

And Kylo wakes up with his internal organs rearranged and stapled back together to see a fucking armed sociopath holding HIS CHILD and nearly kills Hux right then and there except if he died then he would definitely drop the baby and if Kylo sits up too fast his spleen is gonna pop out probably. 

They don’t even have to talk about things or lie to each other because they have spent a stupid amount of time with one another and they know. The fear in Hux now is the same fear that is swallowing Kylo up like a howling cyclone.

So they go to Snoke and it seems very much like Hux will betray Kylo like the untrustworthy dog that he is and Kylo will stay the loyal and steady servant of the darkness, but Kylo is a nest of serpents held together by medical tape. And all of Hux’s research? Well, if you want to blow the most powerful Force user you’ve ever met’s head off his ugly shoulders? You might need a real firearm and some Force-resistant bullets.

Cue a very different fight against the Praetorian Guard. Rey shows up twenty minutes late with Starbucks to a room full of corpses and fire and Kylo “Ben Solo” Ren trying to hold his torso together while Armitage “General Hugs” Hux looks increasingly red-faced and distressed at a very small and screaming baby.

No lightsabers explode.

No one’s around to sign the paperwork on DJ’s deal so he fucks off on the first ship he can break into while Phasma’s calls keep going directly to Hux’s voicemail.

The Resistance makes it to Crait safely and Holdo does not explode anything and Rose does not have to contemplate kicking 500,000 stormtroopers to death with her own two feet. (I mean she doesn’t, but she still DOES.)

Phasma’s call goes through. 

“Hey I’ve got two big Resistance morons and a soccer ball.”

“Cool. We killed the Supreme Leader and also it’s a girl.”

“Congratulations, sir. Does she have a name?”

“Not yet, I was a little busy.”

Rey watches Kylo get increasingly pale. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” he says.

Hux remembers that someone helped MAKE this baby and she’s probably fond of him or something. Maybe Hux is fond of him. He’s not sure yet exactly. But he would probably shoot the scavanger girl if she hurt him. Of course, he would probably shoot her anyway, y’know? Just because.

Chewbacca is sort of waiting for Rey to come back.

He does not expect her to come back in the company of the First Order’s three most powerful leaders and also Rose, Finn and a VERY ANGRY BB-8.

Also there’s a baby? It’s a very cute baby. She’s got Ben’s nose already.

“What’s her name?” he asks.

“Haven’t decided,” Kylo Ren says at the same time Rey says, “I don’t know.”

They glare at each other. Chewie does not smack Kylo upside the back of his head simple because it looks right now as though a stiff wind would knock him over just as well. Also, well, he wouldn’t have helped Rey with this COMPLETELY INSANE PLAN if he didn’t think Ben Solo could still come home.

He can’t. Really. This is not Ben Solo going to his mother. This is Kylo Ren going to General Organa with three and a half hostages and a burning desire to get some war criminals off the hook.

(Maybe DJ does a nice thing and leaves something explosive behind when he goes. Or he gives the whole First Order a computer virus or something. They’d deserve it.)

Anyway, Hux probably is still set on handing his daughter the whole known universe and does something incredibly stupid like pull a gun on Leia and gets every blaster in the room pointed at him while he’s holding the infant Skywalker scion. Kylo forcibly (haha) disarms everyone in the room and gently sets Hux on his damn fool ass and not so gently shuts his jaw so tight he can barely breathe. But he can still breathe.

This still unnamed baby is going to be a princess in a world where everyone won’t be trying to kill her all the time, isn’t that good enough for you? (It isn’t, actually, but Hux can make world domination a back-up plan for at least the next two hours.)

Phasma refuses to take off her helmet. Or talk to anyone.

Rey is going to loudly insist that they’re not that bad — and they have a baby! They can’t be bad? At least the baby is probably not bad! 

Leia is going to call Kylo “Ben” and so everyone else is going to follow suit as he bleeds internally and hates them all. He would still stab his uncle if he saw him.

(MAYBE HE DOES HAHA.)

Does Phasma particularly care if her life’s work is sacrificed on the altar of peace? Uh, as long as she still has her LIFE, not particularly. 

Empires, warships, armies can be rebuilt. The universe is always going to be there to conquer. Right? And "princess” doesn’t seem like such a bad title, really, when it’s his baby girl.

Kylo is still an angry, bitter sack of vipers. Hux now has two emotions and they’re both terrifying and involve firearms. Not saying they “fall in love,” but they do practice kissing and trade insults that are maybe affectionate? Hux kills more than one person who tries to get at Kylo with his bare hands and a energy blade. They try extremely hard to be good parents.

Phasma takes her immunity and fucking RETIRES to make LOTS OF MONEY doing what she’s GOOD AT which is fighting and not dying.

Anyway they name the baby Padme. She has a COMPLETELY HIDEOUS temper and blue eyes like her great-grandfather.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#this is a bad post #cw mpreg #cw gore? #cw violence #this is not a fic this is me being me

[amilynh]

Also, as far as comforting goes. How do you think Han would comfort Leia and vice-versa in said situation? Is there anger? Is there relief of some sort? What would you say are things they would/would not do regarding Leia's pregnancy? Is Leia miserably sick the entire time she's pregnant? Does she enjoy being pregnant? Does Han have doubts and worries? Do they fight about it at all?

Okay...so...pregnancy and pregnancy loss.

I...have no idea.  These questions are where I’m pretty useless.  I can see so many options.

I would believe a Leia who was terribly ill the whole pregnancy, who refused to get attached, who was afraid and faced it head-on as she usually does, who simply refused to behave ANY DIFFERENTLY just because she was pregnant DAMMIT (you know...like in Aftermath where she FLIES TO KASHYYK to rescue Han and Chewie while significantly pregnant and stays at the signing of the New Republic Accords WHILE IN LABOR...as one does, truly).  I would believe a story where she hates being pregnant.  I would believe a story where it is incredibly healing.

I think that Han and Leia would be entirely in character to terminate a pregnancy that they felt was not the right time or that was dangerous to them or the child...or even the Republic.  I would be entirely comfortable with them NOT making that choice (as, in canon, they chose to continue the oops-pregnancy that was Ben, something I’m also fine with).

I don’t think they would let a mere pregnancy change ANYTHING for them unless there were terrible health complications that MADE them have to sit up, take notice, and do something differently.  I think there would be teasing about various aspects of the weird thing that is growing one’s own young inside one’s body.

I can believe Leia marveling in pregnancy.  I was an adopted infant, and being pregnant was...it was extraordinary to me.  I didn’t have any stories from when my mother was pregnant.  My family didn’t have pregnancy stories.  My husband is adopted, too, and when we found we were pregnant with our first, I said, “Do you realize that neither of our mothers has ever been pregnant?”  It’s a surreal thing.

There is, for Leia, that loss; she can’t share her pregnancy with EITHER of the women who were her mothers.  The one who carried Leia...she is long dead, and Leia may not, depending on your choice of timeline, even know her name or anything about her.  Her MOTHER, the woman who raised her and held her and loved her every day...she is also long dead.  There is profound grief in going through a process that is about motherhood without a mother to share it with...without ANY mother to share it with.

I think that both Han and Leia will fell *intensely* the lack of parental figures as they head for parenthood. I think those losses, ones they usually don’t think much about, will haunt and tug at them like they haven’t in a very long time.  All the advice they might have gotten...they can’t.  All the support they might have gotten, the sharing of joy, sharing of sorrows...none of that can happen.  For Leia, at least she had loving, effective, supportive parents.  She has a model for parenting (one skewed by the subterfuge that was part of her family’s entire existence, but a model nonetheless).  Han doesn’t even have that.  He is *solo*...quite literally, and every indication is that he *has* been alone for the greater portion of his life, that, even if he remembers a parent, he did not have a parent by his early teens, and has never known reliable parenting nor had a parent in his adult life.

Wondering how to DO this terrifying, weighty, important thing...it’s even more terrifying when trying to do differently and better than our parents who screwed things up somehow.  Then there is the added fear of genetics.  Leia grew up identifying strongly with her adoptive parents, her adopted planet, her adopted people.  But now she KNOWS that her spitfire nature (which is ENTIRELY UNLIKE her parents, and which, certainly, they worked with her on managing), comes from her genetic parents...and is therefore something she not only can, but--especially with Han as the father and his own stubborn streak and tendency toward impulsiveness (which Leia has too: see speeder on Endor)--is LIKELY to pass on.  And if that impulsivity and rashness and temper and stubbornness is passed on...if her ability in the Force is passed on...what if she has a demon child?

My brother was a demon child, and my mantra through both pregnancies was that my children would share no DNA with my brother.  It was one of the most important aspects of overcoming my fear of having children based on demon siblings.  Leia doesn’t have that reassurance; it’s the other way ‘round for her.

Even so, my PTSD was rooted in boys and men and being terrified of them.  I had a very VERY hard time with my second pregnancy...not physically (though I was more tired since I was practically literally pregnant for 2 solid years; my kids are 10 1/2 months apart and, OH, I was depleted for pregnancy #2), but psychologically.  I knew from about 20 weeks that I was having a boy, and I was SO AFRAID that I was going to have a demon boy-child (”They share no DNA.  They share no DNA.  This is not a rational fear.  They share no DNA...”) who would ruin my perfect little girl’s life.  Again...Leia doesn’t HAVE that reassurance.  Instead, knowing HER heritage, knowing that she is carrying a child who shares the DNA that she inherited from the man who tortured her, who held her in place while her planet and family were atomised...she CARRIES that trauma in her GENES now and, in pregnancy, in her womb.  And, simultaneously, her attitude will affect the child.  I was afraid that my increased depression would affect my son while I was pregnant.  I know now it actually *can* (see: cortisol levels).  I hoped that he couldn’t hear my thoughts, know my misgivings about him, even as I reminded myself he was his own person and Shared No DNA with the awful ones.  Leia doesn’t even have THAT reassurance, because there is the possibility--nay, likelihood--that her fetus, at least at a certain point, WOULD hear her fears and misgivings, her terror that she might be carrying a child who would become a monster like her father.  And, since I am a canon-whore and am fine with the TFA timeline...we know that is exactly what happens there:  her son DOES become a monster...one even more vicious and deliberately cruel than even Vader, who was more pragmatic with, “It’s in my way, kill it,” than Kyle Ron and his uncontrolled tantrums and massacres and murders Just For The Hell Of It.

Now...in terms of pregnancy loss (finally)...I think it depends on when the loss occurs.  I had two pregnancies, one past due, one delivered 5 weeks premature.  The emotional havoc that pregnancy and post-partum hormones wreak on one’s emotions and psyche and stability are indescribable.  I was controlling and PANICKY about the idea of my baby being out of my sight or someone NOT TOUCHING either of them at any point.  I wouldn’t let the nurses take them ANYWHERE without my husband or me there with them.  I wouldn’t let them circumcise my son unless they let me be there to hold his hands and kiss his head.  I couldn’t even bear to sit in the front seat driving home and was nearly physically *compelled* to sit in the back next to the car seat so I could touch the baby.  Four or five days later, my mom took me out shopping, and after 2 hours away from my daughter, I was sitting on the ground, exhausted, rocking, and desperate to get home and hold my baby.  When I got her into my arms when I got home, I immediately lay down with her on my chest and SOBBED for half an hour, frantically asking my husband, “WHAT IF SHE DIES???”

If I’d lost a child late in pregnancy or after having to labor to deliver and ready to meet a baby only to have the baby born dead...the emotional backlash would be overwhelming.  I can’t imagine it as anything other than crushing and entirely empty and despairing.

I think there would be some mourning together...but since people grieve differently and at different rates...it is HARD to grieve as deeply as the person you go to when you’re grieving because neither of you is able to be fully supportive because you’re both ripped apart.  I think Han and Leia would both TRY to be there for each other...but when you’re SO empty and exhausted and afraid and befuddled...it’s just HARD.  I imagine Leia would try to work enough to avoid the grief, just like she did with Alderaan, but I think she’d be unsuccessful in the end because those two losses would dovetail.  Han...I don’t have a strong hold on how he would respond.

With an early miscarriage...I can see Leia feeling slightly relieved, especially if she was still ambivalent.  I got pregnant twice after my two kids, once after each of my husband’s (ultimately unsuccessful) vasectomies.  Both times we terminated the pregnancies.  The first time I was sad, though certain, and after the hormone crash, I was better in about a week.  The second time I was matter-of-fact and while there was a hormone crash and it wasn’t just, “La-la-la...” I was, again, fine very soon.  I believe the first termination was about 11 weeks and the second one was 8 weeks or so.  The hormone crash that early in pregnancy, before as many changes in the body was MUCH less emotionally destabilizing than the hormone shifts after delivery.

Ultimately, in an early (pre-12 weeks) miscarriage, I can see a grieving Han & Leia, I can see them ambivalent, angry, relieved...any number of reactions depending on what you want for the story.  I think there are a plethora of reactions that could be believable.

With a stillbirth (anything after 22 weeks)...that is devastating, even if they *were* in some way still ambivalent, simply because it is biochemically so powerful.

I hope this helps.  It was certainly fun to write!

#leia organa #han solo #fic exchange #pregnancy #asked and answered #loss #ask me #pregnancy loss #fanfic #anonymous #Anonymous

[chelseajmitchell-blog]

My Backwoods Abortion/The Scariest Day of my Life

When I was in high school I knew a girl who had an abortion at age 17. I remember thinking to myself ‘I will never do that’. What’s that saying? We make plans and God laughs? God must have been howling.

In the early fall of 2009 I was 18. I was a freshman at Reinhardt College in North Georgia, which is affiliated with the Methodist church. I was an Psychology major with plans to become a therapist (again, God laughs). I lived on campus and was still working on making friends. I had been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year and I was head over heels in love. We were sexually active and I was on birth control. Things were, overall, pretty good. I was struggling a little with my mental illness, but it was generally under control. And then it happened. On a clear day in September I realized I was 3 weeks late.

I called my best friend at the time in an all out panic. There’s no way, right?! I’m on birth control! So, I bought a 2 pack of pregnancy tests all while trying to convince myself that I was overreacting. I peed on the first stick and awaited the results for 5 minutes (longest 5 minutes of my life) and then I looked. 2 pink horizontal lines. I was in the doorway to my bathroom and I collapsed. I sat there in shock for a few minutes before I began sobbing. I called my best friend and took the second test while on the phone with her. Again, same result. In that moment on the dirty, cold, tile, bathroom floor I thought to myself “I can’t do this”. It was a defining moment in my life. On that beautiful fall day I went from being “pro life” to “pro choice”.

I called my boyfriend and gave him the news. He was shocked. “So, what do we do?” he asked. “I’m going to have an abortion” I responded. But first I was going to talk to the school nurse. I went to my SUPER LIBERAL RA and delivered the news. She went downstairs with me to talk to the nurse. With tears in my eyes and a shaky voice I told the nurse my dilemma. She listened to me and my decision, handed me some tissues, and then placed a little box in my hands. Inside the box was a tiny 1 inch baby on a bed of cotton balls. “This is what your baby looks like” she said. To which my RA responded “No. Her FETUS looks more like a semicolon” and then we walked out. I sobbed for a bit in my RAs room before heading back to mine.

Again, I called my best friend. She helped me find a clinic. There were only 2 options that we could find anywhere near my area and I called up the closest one, 45 minutes away. 2 hours after finding out I was pregnant I had an abortion scheduled for 3 days later. Some might view my decision as “hasty”, but I knew what was best for me. I was not emotionally, mentally, or financially stable enough to have a child. I was on life saving medications that would most likely cause serious birth defects or miscarriage. I didn’t want to drop out of college. When you know, you know. I have no regrets.

Three days later, on a murky and cool Friday, my boyfriend drove up to take me to the clinic. I signed in at the front desk. We paid up front and in cash so it wouldn’t show up on my insurance because I didn’t want my parents to know. We waited for roughly an hour before my name was called. I cannot stress this enough- it was the most terrifying experience of my life.

In the back, I was given a handful of pills to take before the procedure. I was given little explanation as to what the pills were, but MY GOD did they take effect quickly. I was then given forms to sign and, in my state, I could hardly hold the pen let alone read what was written. But, I signed them nonetheless. The nurse (or whoever the hell she was) told me to strip down and gave me one of those blue medical sheets to wrap myself in. She led me into the next room and sat me down on a red COUCH along with 3 other women. For the life of me I can’t remember what the other ladies were talking about, but I listened to them converse for 20 minutes before a different nurse ushered me into the procedure room. I was instructed to removed the sheet and lie on my back on the table. The nurse conducted an ultrasound and I can still hear her say “Do you want to see the baby”? I promptly slurred “NO!”. Moments later the doctor entered the room and the nurse put an IV in my arm. I don’t remember anything after that.

I don’t know how much time passed, but I woke up to my boyfriend rubbing my right shoulder. It was over. I was HEAVILY sedated so he had to help me put on my sweats and shoes. Upon leaving I was given a bottle of pain pills with a scrap of paper with dosage instructions. No number to call. No follow up appointment. My boyfriend more or less carried me to the car. He told me later there were protestors present. For some unknown reason I told him I wanted chicken nuggets so we drove to McDonalds. We were waiting in the drive thru line when I was overcome with pain and nausea. I opened the car door and leaned out as quickly as I could before throwing up bile for the next 10 minutes. I felt like my insides were falling out. It was completely terrifying. It is the most pain I’ve ever been in in my life and I had brain cancer as a kid so I’m no stranger to pain.

My saint of an RA let my boyfriend stay in my dorm room for the weekend (I had a private room), which was 100% unacceptable at Reinhardt. He heaved me up onto my lofted twin sized bed and I quickly fell asleep for a few hours. When I woke up I thought I was dying. I took some pain medication and then made my way to the bathroom to throw it all up. Slumped down beside the toilet, I beat my knuckles bloody against the white cinderblock wall. I was in complete agony and petrified. As I was given little information at the clinic, I did not know what to expect. But, I was sure that something had gone terribly wrong.

My boyfriend and RA took care of me while I recovered and by Monday afternoon I was myself again. I remember eating a lot of Easy Mac and chewy chocolate chip granola bars during that time. Life went back to normal and my boyfriend and I never really brought it up again. But, you remember how I said I thought something must have gone wrong? For 2 years after the abortion I refused to have a vaginal exam. I was convinced I was “broken”. Thankfully, I can tell you that I eventually did have an examination and everything is in working order.

About 2 months after my abortion that clinic was shut down due to unsafe conditions and expired licenses of both nurses and doctors. There were multiple arrests.

I tell you my story because there is a president in the White House who is trying to make abortion illegal. He wants to take away a woman's right to abortion which is considered by the UN to be a basic human right. Outlawing abortion will not stop it, but it will make it unsafe. My backwoods and unsanitary abortion will, in many ways, become a fairytale story. Do you know how abortions were preformed before Roe V Wade was passed? Women shoved coat hangers and sewing needles up their vaginas. They used bleach or turpentine douches. While it may not go back to those extremes, the procedures will not be regulated. Any random Joe who puts “Dr.” in front of his name could perform an abortion.

Our president wants to defund Planned Parenthood because PP assists women with abortion. Fun fact: Under Title X, PLANNED PARENTHOOD RECEIVES NO FEDERAL FUNDING FOR ABORTION SERVICES. What will happen is women and men will lose access to a myriad of healthcare services including affordable prescribed birth control and other contraceptives, cancer screenings, assistance with rape and sexual assault, HIV/AIDS and other STD testing, high blood pressure screenings, thyroid screenings, anemia screenings, pap tests, and more. Only 3% of women who go to PP are seeking abortion services.

Having access to affordable birth control and honest sexual education (enough of that abstinence nonsense) reduces the rate of abortions. As access to these services has increased, the abortion rate has decreased. The rate of abortions has decreased drastically since the 1980s.

If you have religious concerns regarding abortion, I completely respect that. That is you right as an American. But, America is not a religious entity. That whole separation of church and State thing is a thing (although it’s gotten completely out of hand). While I am not a Christian, I am a daughter of a Lutheran minister. I was raised to believe in the love and compassion of a savior with the authority to absolve all sins. I was taught that I was saved my God’s grace and His grace alone. I was taught to hate the sin and not the sinner. If you believe abortion is a sin, OK. But, spreading hatred based on your religious convictions just adds fuel to the Devil’s fire. Jesus broke bread and drank wine with the untouchables of the world and instructed His followers to love our neighbor as we love ourself. If you are a Christian, you believe that Jesus was crucified, died, was buried, rose again, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. Through his struggle we are forgiven of all sins. We are loved unconditionally. What’s that slogan? What would Jesus do? Remember that the next time you judge others that “sin” differently than you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

So, that’s it. That’s the story of the scariest day of my life. I invite you to share your own stories because it’s time to speak up if you can. In the meantime, I will continue to be open about my experiences and struggles because I know there are people out there who share my pain in silence. I will not go out without a fight and I’ve got enough passion to last me till the bitter end.

Thanks for reading!

#abortion #abortion rights #womens rights #planned parenthood #i stand with planned parenthood #i stand with PP #healthcare #trump #pregnancy #pro choice #the right to choose #resist #america

[susan-honthumb-posts]

More about Nutshell

In one of my blog experiments, I created a page where I could blog just about the book Nutshell by Ian McEwan. Not sure if what I wrote was even seen by anyone. My computer abilities don’t always get the best results.

I’ve been referring to Ian’s novel as chewy, especially since most of what is said is coming from a being not even born yet. Once I get over the hurdle of a fetus being a plausable…

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[thebibliomancer]

Legends Liveblogging: Star Wars: Dark Empire #5

Are you all ready for sexy Palpatine?

BOOK 5: EMPEROR REBORN

As the Emperor’s World Devastators continue to savage the Alliance, Princess Leia and Han Solo embark on a quest to free Luke Skywalker from the grasp of the Dark Side.

With Chewbacca and C-3PO, Han and Leia journey to an ancient spaceport moon, refuge of Corellian smugglers. There they encounter bounty hunter Boba Fett, who survived being swallowed by the Sarlacc on Tatooine.

Thanks to Han’s old friends, Salla Zend and Shug Ninx, the Millennium Falcon and its crew escape to hyperspace aboard Salla’s Starlight Intruder - a hot rod freighter licensed to haul military cargo to the Deep Galactic Core.

Boba Fett pursues the Intruder, but meets disaster over Byss - the Emperor’s throne world - when he attempts to sneak past the planet’s security shields.

Once in port, Leia uses her Jedi powers to guide the Millennium Falcon to the citadel where Luke now reigns as the Emperor’s protege. A vicious fight ensues, but according to plan, Ninx and Salla save the Falcon - and Leia, Han, Chewbacca, and C-3PO allow themselves to be captured.

Brought at last into the presence of Emperor Palpatine and his Supreme Commander Luke Skywalker, Leia makes a valiant attempt to save Luke, using her intensifying control of the Force.

But the Emperor cannot be overcome so easily. He gives Leia a painful demonstration of his ever-expanding power, crowing in triumph that he has finally captured the last of the Jedi!

Well, that’s not even remotely true.

There’s Vima, a dude we’ll meet in Dark Empire II, the guy that becomes Darth Krayt, K’Kruhk and his sweet hat.

Anyway.

We start off with Salla and Ninx. They’re hiding the Falcon inside another freighter called the Hyperspace Marauder. Who taught these smugglers how to name ships.

Salla receives a call from Han requesting pickup but before the Falcon can take off, its detected by an Imperial Hunter-Killer. Which is like a probe droids but huuuuuuuuuuuuuge.

Salla and Ninx try to get away but the Hunter-Killer swallows the Falcon in its hellishly red glowing stomach.

So much for the secret getaway plan.

We cut to Leia being brought to Palpatine’s quarters.

He tells the guards to screw off because he has secrets he can only share with a Jedi.

And that secret is... a glowing cube of vast import!

Also known as a Jedi Holocron.

Jedi Holocrons are cool. Despite being ‘primitive hologram technology’ it seems way more advanced than a lot of stuff in Star Wars. Because a holocron is a record of Jedi history and teachings and also sort of an AI of the Jedi Master that recorded it. The recorded Jedi judges what a person is qualified to hear. In the Jedi Academy trilogy, Luke even remarked that a holocron was withholding stuff even from him, the masteriest Jedi Master in existence.

Leia says that the holocron is a Jedi teaching device and Palpatine has no right to it. Palpatine disagrees. He is currently the master of all the Jedi. As in, Luke and Leia. Womp womp.

Anyway, he puts the holocron back in its holocron pedastal, next to his uncomfortable space bed. And since it doesn’t stop glowing, you’d think that would make it hard to sleep. Because sleep is what he intends to do.

He has Leia ‘help a dying old man into his bed.’ And then pays her back by talking shit at her. He explains that the Dark Side has given him the power to body surf. Although he has used this only to enter his own clones, he can do this to anyone and overshadow their soul.

Strictly hypothetically, he could soul surf into say... yeah. Her unborn child.

(+1 to the womb obsession tally)

Leia reacts predictably to a creepy old man telling her he is going to possess a fetus.

Oh and because she’s rad, she also swipes the holocron on her way out.

Han may be the scoundrel but Leia is the one who rolled a rogue.

There’s seriously nothing funnier than Palpatine laying on the floor in a heap and smirking that all is transpiring as he has foreseen before realizing Leia fucking robbed him.

Anyway, our less rad twin is getting a hand out. Oh, also suppressing information that someone sabotaged three of the World Devastators.

Also, he has jammed R2 full of data. I wonder what in the world devastating data could it be?

Oh and Leia shows up and tells Luke that its been fun but they seriously need to gtfo. She doesn’t mention that she’s been taking everything not nailed down but I think it goes without saying.

But Luke insists that he totally knows what he’s doing. Oh also, her presence helped break the grip of the Dark Side on him. So hey, not a wasted trip!

‘Luke you idiot, the Emperor is toying with you’ she says in not so many words. You can’t become an accessory to a genocide and keep your alignment, probably. I’d have to check the dungeon master’s guide.

But Luke agrees that they can go. He stuffed the master control code and the Emperor’s priority battle plans into R2 so they just need to gather Han and Chewie and find some way out of here.

Meanwhile, in the detention level, Han is cracking an ingenious escape plan. They may be twelve stories up in a doom tower but if Chewie will only let Han shave him, they could braid a rope out of his fur and escape out a window.

But before they can enact that thrilling escape, a Hunter-Killer droid shows up.

The very same one that ate Ninx and Salla in fact! And in fact in fact, the two somehow got inside and hot wired the droid off-panel. They might even be approaching Leia levels of competence.

They use the droid’s weapons to blow a hole in the side of the tower so Han and Chewie can escape. But what a coincidence, Leia and Luke have just shown up too.

... And Leia has another lightsaber? I was joking about her stealing everything not nailed down but damn I think she really did just rob the Emperor blind.

Because I just went and checked. SHE DID NOT HAVE THE LIGHTSABER WHEN SHE WAS TALKING TO THE EMPEROR.

Anyway, Han assumes the worst when he sees Luke but Leia stops him from shooting. Luke promises that with the information he has stolen, the Empire will be finished forever but Han wonders why they don’t just take the Emperor out, y’know, as long as they’re in town.

They don’t get the chance because a security patrol arrives. Ninx sets the Hunter-Killer to auto-fire and everyone escapes on the Falcon just as the tower defenses hit the droid.

But once the Falcon escapes Byss, Luke reveals he pulled a fast one. See, he was never really on the ship. It was but a ruse. He is still on Byss.

He still has one task to accomplish.

Which is why we find him in the Emperor’s clone lab. He’s here to stop the Emperor from moving into a fresh body.

So the Emperor kills himself so he can respawn before Luke can Attack on the Clones.

He does manage to kill all but one though. Although it is that last one that is a problem. A sticky, naked problem.

I had hoped this day would never come but here it is. The lightsaber battle between sexy naked Palpatine who looks like David Bowie and weirdly evil looking Luke.

(Things Palpatine did not think his clones needed: a dick, toes)

Anyway. Maybe he’s too distracted by sexy Palpatine or maybe he’s just not a bad enough dude to beat a sticky newborn in lightsabers but Luke loses. The Emperor knocks the lightsaber out of his hands and knocks his ass to the ground.

But he’s not going to kill him. He’s still betting on Luke submitting to the Dark Side.

But for right now, the Emperor is going to put on some pants, get in his hot rod/war crime, and go get Leia so he can get back his holocron and get him some of that destiny fetus.

Its good to have goals?

#Star Wars #Dark Empire #legends liveblogging