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mikeluciraphgabe · 2 years

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Fic Idea I will sell my emotional support hoodie for

Batman & Superman need a team up.

But not just any team up

The GCPD and MCPD need to work together as well

(This is Battinson btw)

Batman and all the MCPD officers are hitting it oddly really well. (Superman is not jealous at both sides. He’s not.)

This causes Martinez to get all possessive/protective/jealous/etc over Batman but in a really awkward way that makes everyone think Batman and this random cop are fucking

Like, Daniel (fanon name) is always glaring at the MCPD officers when they have full convos with Batman. (Batman answers with his signature grunts. But, still.)

Bruce, oddly, finds it cute/comforting

Daniel, this little Hispanic officer with little to no regard of his own safety, is all “this is my wet kitten emo bitch boy. Go get your own” despite calling him “freak” (more affection after the flood, Bruce will admit quietly to himself)

Eventually, Superman and Daniel conspire against the MCPD (god I want that team up) for a mutual “they are stealing the wet kitten from us.” And than immediately after argue about who Batman “belongs” to (in a “he works in my city!” “He brings me sandwiches at random!” Kinda way)

After the whole thing is over and done with, Batman sneaks into Daniel’s house and makes him a, very bad, coffee and literally beems at him. Like full on smiling

It freaks Daniel out cause “Batman is smiling a genuine smile????!!!”

Batman says, “Don’t worry officer, I’m still your awkward little kitten.” In the most innocent way that definitely doesn’t get Daniel’s dick interested. no stop

“Oh uh… you heard that?”

Humming, Batman only twirls his fingers around. “And the other stuff.” While shrugging

“I’m never living this down, am I?”

Batman gives him a small smile this time

(still creepy af that Batman is smiling but Martinez thinks it’s kinda cute and loves it because, ya, he did that to Batman.)

Gordon was watching the whole thing while doing the actual work like, “when will my suffering end?” And than immediately yell at the officers from both GCPD and MCPD like “I don’t care about the sunshines vs nights. Please just stop terrorizing Superman and Batman. Mostly Batman. No offense Superman sir, but Bats over there is my boy first and foremost.” (Bruce preens at it.)

#please write this #battinson #Bruce and Martinez #bructinez #officer martinez #bruce Wayne #the batman 2022 #Batman #batman and superman #superman #Clark Kent #gcpd #james gordon #tiny text bruce

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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DC can shoot blockbuster movies, but only WFA is genius enough to introduce PTA mom! Bruce who's extremely competitive.

I need Battinson, youngest parent there by far, to roll in, smudged make up, bruises, a busted red lip.

No one thinks to link those marks to Batman. They're OBVIOUSLY evidence of a long night of fooling around in the club instead of caring for his young ward

Margie thinks that's funny, seeing as this guy obviously doesn't get out much. She tried putting him through the trial of Intimidating Mom Show Off and he just said, " I'm going to cry in the bathroom. Excuse me."

I'm sorry, but Bruce being openly affectionate with Dick, Jason, Damian, Cass, and Tim, -- kisses on the cheek, hugs that last until the teacher breaks them off, - would have the fathers cringing.

" Haha, I don't do that with my kids. I'm actually here because my wife bitched at me."

Bruce, straight up, " Don't you like your children?"

" Excuse me?!"

" Not yet. Why do you hate your kids?"

" I love my kids, I just can't wait to get away from them. Come on, you know how it's like."

" No. I love my babies. Why do you hate your babies? Why do you hate your wife. I'll pay for your divorce if you want."

Bruce gets reported VERY often to the principal and board for being inappropriate, and you know what? They refuse to do anything. It was about time someone raised hell around here.

Duke, age 8, watching a grown man throw a tantrum because Bruce called Dick 'baby' : Bruce. I can poke him with my sword

Bruce: Not yet, Duke

Jason tries exploding every kid he doesn't like with his mind. "Trust me, you won't like the alternative. Now be gone! My papi brought me lunch." It's a lunchbox full of books.

Bruce gets along the best with the mothers. They treat him like the class hamster

#bruce wayne #dc #batman #batdad #batfam #duke thomas #jason todd #jason uses Shakespeare language send tweet #text #let harley and martinez and selina be his back up for when he cant manage to come. someone makes the mistake of muttering #' whole family's a bunch of freaks' and harley does not hesitate okay. pull that bitch in the street and beat their ass #in front of their kids. do them dirty. in front of they bloodline #text post

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frownyalfred · 4 months

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I just want a fic where Officer Martinez realizes his vaguely goth nepo baby crush (Bruce Wayne) is the same leathered-up freak walking around his crime scenes and punching his coworkers. Someone tell me that exists, please.

#the batman #the batman 2022 #the batman (2022)#officer martinez #bruce wayne #batman #dc

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bleulone · 5 months

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BERLIN (2023-) | Netflix

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emo-batboy · 1 year

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Me: Please let me sleep. I am begging you.

Also Me, shining a light into my face: no Listen LISTEN listen. okay so a cop, a cat burglar, and a vigilante walk into a bar. They’re a crime-fighting polycule made entirely of bisexual disasters. JUST TRUST ME

#battinson #no just trust me #bruce wayne #seline kyle #officer martinez #but like fucking imagine it okay?#i WILL elaborate if asked #i have been thinking about this forever #batman #batman 2022 #the batman 2022

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grayisblogging · 25 days

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love how martinez was kinda the polar opposite of edward at the beginning of the movie: hating on batman but being bruce wayne’s biggest fan. meanwhile edward is running the batman fan club but despises bruce 😭 love that. and i suspect martinez and batman will gradually become friends, whereas batman and riddler hate eachother LOL

#the batman #the batman 2022 #officer martinez #riddler #edward nashton #batman #bruce wayne #mine

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crovoroh · 2 years

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He has velcro shoes but Alfred made him wear proper dress shoes and wouldnt help with his laces cause "bruce, your 32 years old"

#I kept busting out giggling everytime i opened the layer with bruces close up #Baby boy im so sorry its easy to bully you #The batman #Bruce wayne #selina kyle #officer martinez #edward nashton #edward nygma #battinson #brucetinez #catbat #Riddlebat #Batcat #catwoman #riddler #Batman #My art

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dakry · 9 months

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Batkids :))

Jason's secretly enjoying it under the mask :) Ask box open for requests

(I made this while listening to portals)

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nat111love · 2 years

Photo

Robert Pattinson as Batman in

THE BATMAN (2022) | dir. Matt Reeves

#the batman #robert pattinson #bruce wayne #the batman 2022 #officer martinez #batman #rpattinsonedit #dcfilms #dc #dc movies #dc fandome #dcedit #dc multiverse #thebatmanedit #loved this moment!!!#seems like someone has a death wish....that look !!!#their scenes were so funny to me !!!#q

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darlingandmreames · 10 months

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Obsessed with the idea of Martinez becoming so good at interacting/managing both of Gotham's resident cryptids (Bruce Wayne and Batman) that he becomes a bit of a cryptid himself

Bruce Wayne has emerged into the public eye more but hasn't become any less awkward and uncomfortable in it, and he seems borderline physically pained by any interaction he's in. Except with Martinez. Martinez has always been friendly towards Mr. Wayne the few times he ventured into public and has probably had the most contact with him out of everyone in GCPD by this point. And clearly it's paid off. Mr. Wayne never quite seems comfortable around Martinez, but he at least seems not uncomfortable either. Martinez jokes with him and fills the air with comments and aimless chatting and no one really understands what about that seems to put Mr. Wayne at ease but it does. Like, visibly. Mr. Wayne visibly relaxes when Martinez is around and even occasionally smiles? It's bizarre and literally no one understands how this happened or what Martinez did to get there but goddamn if it isn't impressive.

And then there are his interactions with Batman. Everyone is afraid of Batman. Even Lt. Gordon is appropriately cautious around him. Not Martinez though. If his interactions with Mr. Wayne were puzzling, his interactions with the Bat are downright bizarre. He jokes. He continues to talk almost incessantly. He translates the Bat's grunts and monotone hmms better than literally anyone else. A couple officers even swear they've seen Batman smile in response to a few of Martinez's comments. There's a debate as to whether Martinez is absolutely fearless or simply an oblivious idiot, but either way everyone agrees it's impressive and more than a little frightening.

Eventually everyone just agrees that Martinez is his own kind of Gotham cryptid. That's the only way he could be able to manage both Mr. Wayne and Batman so well. If Bruce Wayne is Gotham's awkward, Eternal Mood(tm) cryptid and Batman is Gotham's shadowy, frightening cryptid, then Officer Martinez is Gotham's friendly, perpetually sunny cryptid and absolutely none of his co-workers have any idea how to handle this

#the batman #the batman 2022 #officer martinez #bruce wayne #battinez #bruce/martinez #local trash goblin speaks

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mikeluciraphgabe · 7 months

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IM BACK

Part 11 master-post

#Batman twitter au #batman family #batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #duke thomas #tim drake #officer martinez #red hood #Nightwing #Red Robin #batman and robin #robin #spoiler #black bat

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bruciemilf · 9 months

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Matt Reeves has the potential to give us the funniest comedic duo with Martinez and Bruce.

Martinez, bored out of his mind, sipping on his Barbie ice coffee: Gun to your head, would you rather kiss Joker or Riddler?

Bruce, who wanted a barbie drink too but was too awkward to order: Gun to my head? Pull the trigger

Martinez: wh E E Z E

#martinez is the myth of cassandra constantly trying to tell ppl his goth freak bff is the funniest bitch alive #bruce vigorously denying his affection for his new friend but he keeps a journal full of martinez's likes and dislikes #they're so trixie and katya #bruce wayne #officer martinez #also martinez amd selina need to have the thickest beef. gay mlm vs bi wlw violance. for no reason #dc #dcu #battinson #batman #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #source: mdoern family

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sisaloofafump · 5 months

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I need to know which to do for my rebirth style study

#thank u very #much #dc comics #batman #bruce wayne #dc rebirth #clay mann #alvaro martinez bueno

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bleulone · 5 months

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"Nobody. Not even a signal." — 1.01 The Energy of Love | BERLÍN (2023-)

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br-uwu-cewayne · 2 years

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something something Martinez "you should just bone" at Gordon "I am your SUPERIOR OFFICER!" re: Batman

#GCPTwink #GCPDilf #(my bullshit tags for martinez and gordon respectively)#the batman (2022) spoilers #bruce x jim #bruce x gordon #batgordon #shitpost #jim gordon x bruce wayne

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grayisblogging · 3 months

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i love them so much. can’t wait to see them in part two, they’re so funny. love that matt gave us this relationship dynamic between them right off the bat (ha. get it.? bat. ha ha… ok). i can imagine gordon finding out batman is bruce eventually and having to be all secretive about it around martinez which he would probably find hilarious and very difficult because martinez is clearly a big bruce wayne fan LOL.

like imagine a scene like the one we got in part one with bruce, martinez, and gordon at the mayor’s funeral but instead gordon knows bruce is batman. that would be so good 😭😭 also i’m curious if in this universe gordon was the one who was on scene for the wayne murders, bc that would give the look he’s giving bruce here that much more of a punch.

#meanwhile mackenzie looks so uneasy like he thinks bruce is unstable (which he is but maybe not in the way he’s thinking lmao)#the batman 2022 #the batman #batman #bruce wayne #james gordon #mackenzie bock #officer martinez #mine

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