#Breakin' up with a broken heart

[aestheticaltcow]

Our Future

A/N: I've been workin' on this one for a couple weeks now and I finally finished omg

“I just don’t know if I want her to meet Eva.” Tiffany sighed, crossing her arms over her chest as she stood in the doorway, “Tiff, do you wanna meet her first or somethin’?” Richie asked, scratching the back of his head. “Richie, I’m sure she’s a lovely girl, but she’s like, what 23?” Richie sighed awkwardly. “Yea…” Tiffany shot him a look, “Look, Tiff, she’s really great-. I want Eva to meet her.” he looked down at her hopefully, Tiffany sighed. He’d been okay with Eva meeting her current boyfriend, so it would be hypocritical for her not to let Eva meet Richie’s girlfriend- you. Tiffany nodded. “Just promise you aren’t breakin’ up with her anytime soon. I don’t want Eva to also get her heart broken.”  

~

Over the summer, you worked as a waitress at The Bear. You thought Richie was handsome from the start. He was tall and rugged, and you couldn’t help but watch his hands as he did paperwork or signed for the liquor order. His hands were so big… you couldn’t help but imagine what they’d feel on your body. Manhandling your breasts, wrapped around your neck, pulling you over his knee to spank you… you dragged yourself out of a daydream when Carmy asked the wait staff a question. “I’m sorry my mind was elsewhere… what was the question?”

It went on like that for weeks, Richie being the focal point of your daydreams. Your friends slowly started noticing how you’d turn down guys when you’d go out. Your parents noticed you were taking your time to do your hair and makeup before work. They’d assumed you had a crush on another waitstaff member or, heaven forbid, a line cook; oh boy, did they not expect the man you’d been dolling yourself up for someone 20 years your senior. 

One night, you agreed to go out with some friends from high school. You weren’t looking for a hookup or anything, but when you saw Richie across the street from the club at some pizza place, you were glad you’d borrowed a short cheetah print dress from your friend Mandy. You snuck away from the rest of the group and ‘causually’ bumped into Richie. He’d always thought you were pretty and quick as a whip, but he was significantly older than you, and the idea of even hitting on you made him uneasy. But, when he bumped into you on that night out, he couldn’t get the idea of you out of his mind. “Yo, cousin. You good?” “Ugh yea… was just sayin' hey to y/n.” Carmy chuckled when he saw you walking away from Richie, “She’s into you.” Richie adamantly disagreed, “She’s a good kid, but I’m way too fuckin’ old for her Carm.” 

As the summer came to an end, you’d turned in your two-week notice. Leaving  Richie with a sense of urgency to at least follow you on Instagram. By your last day, he did manage to get your phone number, which, in turn, led to some late-night Instagram stalking from both of you. Richie didn’t expect anything to happen. You were three hours away from Chicago, back at school, surrounded by boys your age. There's no way a girl like you would ever want some 40-year-old divorced single Dad. At least, that was until you’d come home for your Mom’s birthday in mid-September. 

You needed a break from your family. You saw Richie was out with some of the guys from The Bear and decided to make a move. ‘Casually running into’ the group was more challenging than you thought, but when Sweeps noticed you enter the bar, he knew why you were there. “Richie, your girls here.” he laughed; Richie was confused but was happy to see you. You two spent the night talking, “So you got a little boyfriend at school or somethin’?” Richie had hoped the answer would be ‘no,’ and then he could swoop in and show you how a man should treat a woman of your caliber. “Depends on who’s askin’.” you teased, making Richie chuckle. He offered you a ride home.

As Richie pulled up to your parent’s apartment building, you said fuck it and swiftly moved to place a kiss against his lips, the tickle of his facial hair adding to the stimulation. Richie was taken aback; he’d wanted to kiss her for months but didn’t think it would be like this. He kissed you back as soon as he’d realized what was happening. What should have been the perfect first kiss was ruined when your Dad saw you get out of ‘some random old guy's car’ and told you to get your ass inside. 

Your parents scolded you, “Wasn’t he your boss!” “Y/N! We forbid this!”. You were mad at the pair and returned to school sooner than expected. You turned your phone off and stared at the ceiling for a few days; maybe they had a point. Was Richie too old for you? He disagreed; if two people like each other, what’s the big deal? It’s not like she was fresh out of high school- she was 22, and he’d just turned 42. 

A year later, you graduated college and moved back to Chicago to be with Richie and work at a tech start-up. It took a while, but your parents had warmed up to Richie. Granted, your Mom still hated him, but you took a win as a win when your Dad referred to him as an ‘okay guy.’ 

~

Tiffany was hesitant when Richie brought you around Eva at first. She liked you, but she knew Richie better than anyone and didn’t want you to get your heart broken. She didn’t bring anything up until Eva’s birthday party. You were watching the kids play in the backyard when Tiffany saw an opportunity to talk to you. “Hey, Y/N, thanks for comin’.” you smiled up at Tiffany as she sat beside you. “Of course, I couldn’t miss Eva’s Taylor Swift party.” Tiffany nodded before asking, “Can I talk to you about somethin’?” you nodded, “What’s up?” “Might be a little awkward, but um, you and Richie? How’s it goin’?”

You squinted in Tiffany’s direction, “Why do you wanna know?” “I don’t want him back, but you’re just in such a different-” you scoffed. “Tiffany, I don’t think your daughter’s birthday party is an appropriate place to bring this-” “Y/N. I know Richie better than anyone. You have so much life to live. Don’t you wanna travel or get married or have kids someday? I just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into before you’re too invested in this.” “Thanks, Tiffany.” 

Richie was talking to one of Eva’s friend’s Dads when he saw you walking toward the gate, “Sorry, I gotta check on somethin’...” he ducked out of the conversation to follow you out of the backyard. You wiped your eyes as you walked up the street. It was only a couple miles to the closest train stop, and you figured the walk would be a good way to clear your head. “Hey baby- you okay?” Richie called as he ran up behind you. You nodded, “Yeah, everything is fine… I just have to do some stuff…” “What about Eva’s party? Haven’t even had cake yet…” he noticed you’d been crying, “Did Tiff say somethin’ to you? I can-” “Richie- do you wanna get married again?” the question left him dumbfounded. “Maybe?” he shrugged, “Why are you askin about that?” 

You sighed, “Richie, I wanna get married and have kids someday.” you flexed your hand as you stared at the ground, “Okay, we can… we can talk about it later… come back to the party?” Richie said, trying to change the subject and cut the tension between you. “ Yes or no, Richie? Would you want to marry me and have a kid or two within the next three years?” “Baby,” Richie said softly as he touched your bicep, “Let’s talk about all of this later.” you shook your head. “Go back to the party. I have some thinking to do.” you calmly said as you looked up at him. “OK,” Richie nodded and kissed your forehead, “I’ll see you at home?” 

You haphazardly packed some clothes into a suitcase before grabbing your chargers and laptop from the bedside table. This wasn’t how you thought your day would end, but Richie’s answer- or lack thereof- was all you needed to know. Before leaving the apartment, you messily wrote Richie a note saying it was over and your Dad would come by to pick up the rest of your stuff later in the week. You felt your heart break as you locked the door behind you. It was over.

#richie jerimovich #richie jerimovich x reader #richie jerimovich fan fic #richie jerimovich fan fiction #richie jerimovich imagine #richie jerimovich angst #the bear #the bear x reader #the bear fan fic #the bear fan fiction #the bear imagine #the bear angst

[bigtreefest]

Bigger Houses Masterlist

An Ari Levinson Series based off Dan + Shay’s latest album

Mountain Ranger! Ari x Female Reader

Main Masterlist

Series Summary: A year after shattering break-ups, two hearts start life anew in the Rocky Mountains. It’s always just when you swear off love that a new beast crosses your path.

*chapters are arranged in the order they are to be read but track # in parenthesis is as they are on the album

1. Breakin’ Up With a Broken Heart (Track 1)

2. Heartbreak On The Map (Track 3)

3. Save Me The Trouble (Track 2)

4. Neon Cowgirl (Track 11)

Thunder + Birds

5. Heaven + Back (Track 7)

Leads to You

Rocky Road

The Pizza Incident

6. Missing Someone (Track 9)

In The Stars

A Night Out

7. Then Again (Track 6)

8. What Took You So Long (Track 8)

Take a Stab

Garden Party

9. For The Both Of Us (Track 5)

You’re a Gem

Words Are Just Words Unless They’re Verbs

10. We Should Get Married (Track 10)

Keep it Move-in

Bound to You

11. Bigger Houses (Track 12)

A Little … Snow

Even Bigger Houses

12. Always Gonna Be (Track 4)

Drabbles & Extras

Sexy Sasquatch

How they Show Their Love (ask answer)

#ari levinson #ari Levinson smut #ari levinson fanfiction #ari levinson fluff #masterlist #bigger houses Masterlist #chris evans #mountain ranger ari #mountain ranger! ari x reader #mountain ranger! ari #mountain ranger ari x reader #mount

[ddejavvu]

sooo mei I was reading through your matt murdock ml and stumbled across the mafia one and pleaseee that is so cute, would you ever expand on that au? like maybe r’s flat is broken into and before she can even go to the cops there’s a bunch of matt’s guys there like don’t worry we’ve got it handled and she’s just ???

mafia!matt is the last thing i thought i'd be writing in the year 2024 but i can work with what you gave me <3

--

You're not sure whether you'd consider yourself lucky for escaping the bank unscathed, or unlucky for having been in the bank during an active shooting in the first place. Either way, the entire ordeal leaves you unsettled for weeks. You're bordering on agoraphobic, but food is a must, so you set out to brave the streets of Hell's Kitchen in search of something quick and dirty.

Upon your return, you know you're unlucky. You'd locked the door when you'd left, but evidently that doesn't stop someone who's desperate enough to break into a place that's barely up to code. You stare into the gaping, dark recess of your burgled apartment, noting that several electronics and appliances are out of place, but none of them appear to be missing. Your television is cracked, but you suppose your computer will be a suitable replacement until you can manage to afford a new screen.

You back away from the door just in case there's still someone inside; you're not stupid enough to investigate for yourself. However, the moment you step back, you ram into someone behind you, and your mottled nerves make you nearly shoot out of your skin.

All you can manage is a muffled, 'mmf!' when a hand clamps itself over your mouth, but the voice accompanying the hand is quick to assure you, "Easy, tuts, we're not gonna make it worse. We're with- uh, the cops. Okay? We got a call from the neighbors, 'said they heard someone breakin' in. We've got it handled, alright? Just relax. You can head back inside, that creep is long gone. We'll have someone stand guard outside, got it?"

You're only let go of when your captor deems you calm, but your heart is still racing in your chest when you turn to face him. He doesn't look anything like a police officer, but he does look menacing. He shows you a badge and I.D, and they look authentic enough for your arrythmia to settle.

"Go on," He ushers you towards the door, "Get in there, we'll take care of it from here."

You adjust your grip on your plastic bag of frozen meals, passing a couple other men that are now posted at the front door of your apartment. Each attempts a kind smile at you, and you're glad to shut the door on them once you get inside.

There's a man on your couch.

You don't notice until you flick the light switch on, but he's sitting there, clad in a suit and sunglasses. You shriek, and briefly consider whether or not your frozen ravioli could be used as a suitable projectile.

"Relax," The man stands, an easy smile on his face, one that drips with sympathy, "I'm Matt. I'm here to stand guard."

"Why were you sitting in the dark?!" You demand, now doubting the validity of the police badge you'd seen earlier, regretting the decision to trust these less-than-official men.

"It doesn't matter to me whether it's light or dark," He chuckles, and your face flushes momentarily when you realize what his sunglasses are for.

"Oh. Well- well you're not doing a very good job of making me relax, Matt. I feel like I'm more in danger of you than I am of someone else breaking into my house."

The man's smile is gentle, but not weak, "Sorry. Just go about your business, okay Y/N? We'll replace your damaged property and be out of your hair as soon as we can eliminate the threat.”

"Eliminate...?" You echo cautiously, "How long does that take?"

"Depends. A day. A week. Months, maybe. But this is all for your precaution, Y/N," He stands, making his way over to you and carefully feeling out the broken glass on the floor with the toe of his shoe. He places a hand on your shoulder, "Just trust me, I'm here to help. None of this will ever happen to you again- not on my watch."

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock imagine #matt murdock scenario #matt murdock oneshot #matt murdock one-shot #matt murdock one shot #matt murdock headcanon #matt murdock headcanons #matt murdock hc #matt murdock hcs #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock fic #matt murdock blurb #matt murdock drabble #matt murdock dialogue #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x reader fanfiction #matt murdock au #daredevil x reader

[corazondebeskar-reads]

keep it caged

werewolf!Joel Miller x f!reader

originally for Febuwhump 2024 Day 5 - rope burns | Febuwhump masterlist

words: 447

summary: They put you in a small cage within the beast's cage, as if it would be more than a minor inconvenience in his way.

This is technically another drabble for my upcoming series "of rage and ruin" following werewolf!Joel. It can be read as a standalone.

warnings: alpha/omega dynamics (one use of the word "omega"), captivity, abuse, genre-typical violence, canon-typical violence, restraints, description of injury

dividers by @saradika-graphics

He can’t reach you, not when you’re tucked back in the corner of your cage. But he can smell you, and he can smell the rich iron soaking into the ropes around your wrists. It’s not yet visible, but the skin squishing through the edges is red and rough. 

He whines, pushing his muzzle against the bars, long tongue flopping out like he can reach. 

The sharp battery acid edge of your fear spikes, and he growls. Stupid girl. Stupid fucking omega. He’s trying to help you, and you’re—you’re— 

You’re starting to cry again. 

He can’t make human words like this, can’t enunciate or even really remember them. He tries to reach you through the bars again, snarling when they burn against his knuckles. Even the distended bony fingers of his full form can’t reach you there, not even with the tip of his claw. 

You’re shaking now, body twitching and jittering beyond your control. Everything inside you is screaming white-hot and dissolving; vomit tickles the base of your throat, and you just can’t stop crying. It hurts; it’s ripping your throat and lungs to shreds. It’s a violent, tumultuous thing, and you can’t stop the wounded keening of your cries. 

He’s pacing in front of your cage now, the beast, on four mangled limbs too long to be canine and too warped to be human. His huffs startle you, long snout returning, again and again, tongue darting out for a taste. 

A little drop of blood slides down your hand from where the rope’s edge cuts into the bottom of your palm.

He freezes, nostrils flaring. You freeze, barely breathing.

 

He looks right at you and then tips his head back to howl, the sound like icy water through your veins. 

You can’t help yourself. You scream, broken as your voice is from all the tears. 

Between the cacophony, Jim stomps into the corridor and slams his hand on the wall. “Shut the fuck up, both of you!” 

“Help me,” you yell. 

I’m trying, the wolf howls. 

“Please, please help me,” you gasp, sobs reaching new heights alongside your panic. 

“If you don’t quiet the fuck down, I’ll open up your goddamn cage and let him eat you,” Jim snaps. “I said you were going to be more trouble than you’re worth, and I was fuckin’ right.”

The beast snarls, snapping his sharp teeth at the air. 

Jim regards him with a sneer. “And you! Giving her a heart attack counts as breakin’ her. We aren’t gettin’ you another one.”

The words don’t make sense, but you don’t really hear them, anyway. “Please, I want to go home, please, please,” you whisper. 

But no one’s listening.

*title from "Monster" by Skillet

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #alpha!joel miller #alpha!joel x omega!reader #a/b/o dynamics #werewolf!joel miller #febuwhump #febuwhump2024 #febuwhumpday5

[onedirectionandblank]

One Direction and Love includes variations such as loved and loves

Up All Night

More Than This: 'Cause I can love you more than this

Taken: Now that I'm with somebody else, you tell me you love me

Taken: You only love to see me breakin', you only want me 'cause I'm taken

I Want: I want, I want, I want to be loved by you

I Want: Be loved by you, I wanna

I Want: Would you want, you want, you want me to love you too?

Stole My Heart: When I saw your face, I fell in love

Stole My Heart: I start to say, "I think I love you," but I make no sound

Stand Up: I'll be there, yeah, I know it, to fix you with love

Moments: I wanna be with you, I wanna feel your love

Moments: Your reason to be my love, my heart

Na Na Na: We've got a bit of love-hate

Take Me Home

Live While We're Young: I know we only met, but let's pretend it's love

Kiss You: Oh, tell me, tell me, tell me how to turn your love on

Little Things: I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile, you've never loved your stomach or your thighs

Little Things: But I'll love them endlessly

Little Things: I'm in love with you and all these little things

Little Things: I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape

Little Things: You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you

Little Things: Maybe you'll love yourself like I (you sing!) love you, oh

Last First Kiss: Yeah, baby, now that you're gone, I can't stand dumb love songs

I Would: Would he say he's in L-O-V-E

I Would: Would he love you like I would?

They Don't Know About Us: 'Cause this love is only getting stronger

They Don't Know About Us: They don't know about the "I love you's"

They Don't Know About Us: They don't know I've waited all my life just to find a love that feels this right

Summer Love: You were my summer love, you always will be my summer love

She's Not Afraid: How come she's so afraid of falling in love?

She's Not Afraid: But she's so afraid of fa-fa-falling in love, love

Loved You First: 'Cause I was the only one who loved you from the start

Loved You First: And nothing could be worse, baby, I loved you first

Loved You First: But now you'll never know, baby, I loved you first

Loved You First: I never understood what love was really like

Loved You First: I loved you first, why can't you see?

Truly Madly Deeply: Truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you, in love with you

Midnight Memories

Story Of My Life: I spend her love until she's broke inside

Strong: But I don't care, I'm not scared of love

Strong: Think of how much love that's been wasted

Happily: I'm sorry, love, but I don't really care

Right Now: That I won't be on my own, yeah, I love this feeling

Through the Dark: Oh, I will carry you over, fire and water for your love

Through the Dark: But I can see your heart can love again Through the Dark: And you will see, it's easy to be loved, I know you wanna be loved

Better Than Words: You make me wanna *gasp*, how deep is your love?

Better Than Words: There's no way I can explain your love, no

Better Than Words:  I can't explain your love, no

Four

Steal My Girl: Her mum calls me "love", her dad calls me "son", alright

Ready To Run: I'd give everything that I've got for your love

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?: Love was something you never heard enough

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?: Tell me will you ever love me again, love me again?

18: I have loved you since we were eighteen

18: I wanna love like you made me feel, when we were 18

18: To be loved and to be in love

18: So pour me a drink, oh, love

18: Living love in slow motion, motion, motion

Girl Almighty: Some say she's such a fake, that her love is made up, no, no, no, no

Fools Gold: Yeah, I know your love's not real, but thats not the way it feels

Fireproof: And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do

Illusion: Tell me you believe in love

Made In The A.M.

Drag Me Down: With your love, nobody can drag me down

Perfect: 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time

End Of The Day: I told her that I loved her, was not sure if she heard

End Of The Day: You love who you love, there aint no other way

End Of The Day: Love can be frightening for sure

Never Enough: I don't need my love, you can take it

Olivia: This isn't the stain of a red wine, I'm bleeding love

Olivia: Oh, I love you, I love you, I love, I love, I love Olivia

Olivia: I love you, it's all I do, I love you

Love You Goodbye: Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye

Love You Goodbye: Unexplainable, a love that only we could understand

#onedirectionandblank #one direction #harry styles #niall horan #louis tomlinson #liam payne #zayn malik #lyrics #music

[goxinsane]

— FIVE SONGS TO DESCRIBE TEZZA

NYC GIRL by: The Orion Experience — She's got a style that's all her own, that girl has got her shit together... Woah now, New York City girl, won't you walk in my direction... The traffic jams at her command, when she walks down the streets of Brookyln. She's breakin' hearts, of fashionistas on the Lower East Side. She haunts the dreams of boys in Queens, all the way down to Staten Island... LIKE THAT by Bea Miller — Can see it from the way you looking at me, you don't think i'm worth your time.... So what if i'm not everything you wanted me to be?... So what if I am more than you see?... When you treat me like that It's pushin' me harder, it's pushin' me harder. When you breakin' my back I only get stronger, I only get stronger. I should've walked away one year ago, when you said I wouldn't make it out alive.... WASHING MACHINE HEART by Mitski — I know who you pretend I am... NEVER BE LIKE YOU by Flume ft. Kai — I'm only human, can't you see? I made a mistake, please just look me in my face, tell me everything's okay, 'cause I got it... DON'T JUDGE ME by Janelle Monae — Come, let me kiss you right there. Wake you up like sunrirse, on the backs of your thighs... Even though you tell me you love me, I'm afraid that you just love my disguise. Taste my fears and light your candle to my raging fire, of broken desire. But don't judge me. I know I got issues, but they drown when I kiss you...

stolen from: @careol

tagging: @pierprincess, @tcnderhearts, @mournfulminds, @whiskeypores, @unluckyborn and you!

#tezza [headcanon] #[ muse: headcanons ] #[ dashboard games! don't feel obligated to do them 'cause I tagged u tho ]

[ekowolf]

Working on a story for Control and this song fits too well

Hiding here in camouflage

When they said that they want me

You love me, you need me

Call it casual sabotage

You think that it's easy

I'm tryna get to sleep with the lights on

'Cause I am confused and I'm frightened

I'm tryna get to sleep with the lights on

I don't understand this on my own

I'm just a messed up kid

With sewn up lips

I can't take this shit

I need to exist

Sitting staring at my watch

I can't tell if it's morning or midday or evening

The pressure got my head in knots

I don't always deceive it

I'm tryna get to sleep with the lights on

'Cause I am confused and I'm frightened

I'm tryna get to sleep with the lights on

I don't understand this on my own (I don't understand this on my own)

I'm just a messed up kid

With sewn up lips

I can't take this shit

I need to exist

B-burn me down till we're nothin' but enemies

Shut me out till we're nothin' but friends

Burn me out till we're nothin' but enemies (enemies, enemies)

And shut me out till we're nothing but friends (friends)

I'm just a messed up kid (I won't ever hide alone)

With sewn up lips (she took my heart and cut it out)

I can't take this shit (breakin' for the two of us)

I need to exist (broken until there's only dust)

#supercorp #lena luthor #supergirl #kara danvers #katie mcgrath #no sleep club #ao3 #supercorp ficlet #soundcloud #supercorptober2023

[katelynnwrites]

pairing: Ona Batlle x f!reader

warnings: big ouch sorry

word count: 1734

summary: ona is the only one who can unlock your heart, even after she left you to go back to play for barcelona. based off sadie jean’s new song, locksmith which i waited months for

a/n: can you feel my heartbreak?

Locksmith

This is the last song I'll write about you

I need to move on, I think you do too

The last of the clothes Ona had left in your apartment was packed up but you couldn’t bring yourself to make the short walk to the post office.

Mailing it to Barcelona would mean losing the last part of her you had to Spain. It would mean finally admitting to yourself that she was gone. No sign of her would be left in your life.

Except in your journal and in your heart. Today, you decided, would be the last time you wrote about Ona in it.

You were all that I wanted, you know that you still are

'Cause I've been alright, yeah, but you showed me better

I know that we're changin' but nothin' feels different

I'm breakin' the silence to say

You never thought you would break up with Ona. Maybe that’s why you didn’t see her breaking up with you as a possibility either. You loved her. You really really did. She made your life better. The Spanish girl came into your life and showed you that you weren’t really living till you met her. She taught you how to enjoy life.

She was your girlfriend for two years and now she was your ex. You didn’t quite know how to process that piece of information.

She was, is the love of your life and now that she had broken up with you, you were just supposed to stop loving her? You didn’t know how to do that.

You always knew that her time at Manchester United would be temporary but you never thought she’d end your relationship when she left. Especially without talking to you about it. She’d just left.

If in ten years time I'm still on your mind

Would you call and say you want this?

You end up mailing Ona’s things to her. Two months later and you mail your journal to her too.

You simply couldn’t stand having it in your apartment anymore. All your best memories of your time together were carefully written in it.

Too many late nights had been spent crying over those pages, your tears smudging the ink. Too many other nights had been spent filling the remaining pages of the journal with thoughts about how much you missed her. With how much you still loved her.

You couldn’t bear to throw the precious journal away so late one night you brought it to the post office and mailed it to Barcelona before morning could come and change your mind.

No matter where we are, you still have my heart

'Cause I locked it, and I promise

You're the locksmith

Ona was more than a thousand miles away from you and yet your heart still belonged to her. Despite the fact that she was the one who had broken your heart in the first place, you locked it for her. Only she could unlock it now.

You saw her life through pictures and it ached that she was so far away from you. Ona looked happy, playing for Barcelona and you were happy for her. You knew that it had been her dream since she was a little girl and you were proud of her achievement.

You just wished you had been beside her when she’d achieved it.

We said forever and said it too soon

At least now I know, nobody feels like you do

‘I want you with me forever.’ Ona murmurs as she kisses the side of your neck. Her hand which is resting under your shirt, begins to rub tiny comforting circles into your skin.

‘That sounds good to me.’ You whisper back, soaking in the feeling of being loved.

Ona can’t help the way her eyes widen. Forever is a long time. A long time to promise.

‘Really?’ Her voice comes out quiet and vulnerable. The girl she loved more than anything couldn’t be saying she wanted to be by her side forever?

‘Yeah. Really.’ You promise, sealing it with a kiss placed against Ona’s lips.

Ona hugs you tightly, burying her nose in your hair and inhaling the beloved scent which she had come to know and love so dearly.

Barely holding back her tears, she moves her hands to cradle your head, kissing you as lovingly as she could.

The feel of someone else’s lips on yours snaps you out of the memory. Drunk as you are, you know that whoever’s kissing you isn’t Ona. Now you know that nobody feels like Ona.

Stuttering apologies at the other girl who you had unintentionally led on, you stumble out of the bar.

You should have known that letting Alessia and Tooney set you up would be a bad idea.

You were all that I wanted

You know that you still are

I'm breaking the silence to say

You never heard back from Ona after you sent her her remaining belongings. You don’t know why you got your hopes up that you would hear back from her after you sent her the journal.

If in 10 years time

I'm still on your mind

Would you call and

Say you want this?

The former Manchester United full back stared at the journal on her coffee table. It had been left in the exact same spot for the last month. Ona couldn’t bring herself to read it and yet couldn’t bring herself to mail it back to you, or worse, throw it away.

No matter where we are

You still have my heart

'Cause I locked it

And I promise

You're the locksmith

Ona reads the journal. She picks it up after a bad game and after reading the first sentence, couldn’t stop. Her fingers trace over your tear stains on the pages. She reads all about the happy memories the two of you had shared, discovers all the little things you adored about her and learns about the love you still have for her.

The sheer amount of pain that had hit her after that, she couldn’t even cry. Entirely broken, the Spanish girl curled herself into a ball on her couch and stayed there.

You're the one that I can see me growin' old with

Build a house, I see it now, you plant me roses

And everything we dreamed about, came into focus

Here's to hopin'

It wasn’t unusual for you to wake up with dried tear tracks on your face. It happened whenever you dreamed of Ona which occurred far more often than you would dare admit out loud.

This time, you’d dreamt of a house. A house that you and Ona had once talked about late one night as she held you in her arms.

A house with a backyard and a mini goal that Ona insisted your future children would make good use of. At the time you could see it focus because you couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone but your girl but now it was all blurry and out of focus.

You knew that your teammates worried about you. You knew that they were protective but you didn’t know the extent of it.

A couple of months after Ona had left you, Millie found you crying in the empty locker room as you stared at what used to be Ona’s locker.

Right after giving you a big hug and letting you cry on her shoulder, she’d left a rather nasty voicemail for Ona, detailing and blaming her for your heartbreak.

It brings the Catalan to tears when she hears it. She’d never meant to hurt you this badly, had never meant to break you. Ona had wanted to spare you the pain she thought a long distance relationship would bring you. She was willing to break her own heart for you but now the full back wasn’t sure if what she had done was the right decision

And Ona didn’t know how she could fix it.

Not talking to you before she packed up all her things and left you gave her nightmares. That devastated expression on your face haunted her.

She’d wake up sobbing for you, reaching out across the bed only to realise you weren’t there. You would probably never be there again, would most likely never hold her, kiss her or comfort her again. She’d lost those rights when she had left you behind and Ona knew that it was no one’s fault but her own.

If in ten years time I'm still on your mind

Could you call and say you want this?

It wasn’t ten years but ten months. Ten months of heartbreak before Ona can’t take it anymore and picks up her phone, dialling your number.

‘Hello?’

The moment’s silence before you answer makes Ona’s anxiety spike.

What if she was too late?

‘Hi Ona.’ Your voice is measured and calm, hiding just how anxious you are.

Why was she calling you? Did something happen to her? Was she missing you just as you were missing her?

‘Hi.’ She whispers. Ona could cry just from hearing your voice alone.

Hearing it causes words to tumble out of her mouth and she says what’s been on her mind every minute since she left.

‘I want this. I want us. I’m so sorry I ever left mi amor. I’m so so sorry. Please. Please give me another chance. I won’t break your heart again. Please.’ She begs.

There’s a choked sob on your end and Ona takes it as a sign that she’s gone and hurt you again.

‘I’m sorry I shouldn’t be doing this. You probably don’t want to hear this. I should be the last person you want to hear from.’ Ona rushes out.

You stop her before she can hang up, quietly admitting, ‘I miss you.’

‘You do?’ Disbelief colours her words, her heart rate speeding up.

‘More than I ever thought possible.’

Ona is openly crying now.

‘I don’t want to play for Barcelona anymore. I don’t want to play or be without you. Can I come home to you? Please…’

There isn’t any hesitation on your part.

‘Ona come home.’

No matter where we are

You still have my heart

'Cause I locked it

And I promise

You're the locksmith

When Ona walks back into your arms, she unlocks your heart.

Spanish Translation:

mi amor - my love

#ona batlle #ona batlle x reader #ona batlle imagine #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso x reader #muwfc imagine #muwfc x reader #espwnt x reader #espwnt imagine #spain wnt imagine #spain wnt x reader #katelynnwrites #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader

[blues-valentine]

HSMTMTS: Ricky’s story arc as told by his songs. From I Think I Kinda You Know to Love You Forever (Part 2).

I’ve been thinking about how every song Ricky has performed on the show (my focus will be mostly on the original songs) tell us what his journey has been in the course of the show.

Ricky’s journey has been about changes and the future, leaving his childhood behind, how his parents relationship affects his own as well as the ability to be emotionally open. How he viewed love at the start of the show vs how he views love now. About new starts. About how happiness is a process and something he also needs to create for himself. And his songs reflect this journey very well. For this post. I'll focus on Season 1 and Season 2 for Part 1.

Read Part 1

As a continuation to my analysis on Ricky and the songs narrating his journey on the series. I mentioned how Season 2 closes part of Ricky’s arc with Second Chance. A song that in Ricky’s side talks about moving on after a relationship ends (Nini) and finding new beginnings. He also finishes the season saying he isn’t sure of who he is yet but it’s getting towards happiness. He had understood to an extent a lot of things and how he reacted to them wasn’t healthy for himself and those people in his life. Season 3 opens a new chapter for Ricky to start again but as an improved version of himself. It is his “second chance” in all capacities, which is why I said (x) Season 3 feels like a new start and by putting Ricky in similar situations but having him deal with it differently will show how much he has grown from his past mistakes and fears.

And before we start we have to mention the Lily story line. I think it was clearly a plot device to get to some realization. Ricky thought Lily was a good person that just needed some friends. And he saw an opportunity for something new. But the storyline simply fell flat and it made it seem like an useless rebound instead of giving Ricky (and the audience) a satisfactory arc. She was a copy of Gina 1.0 and I believe Ricky was trying to see Gina in her, and a lot of their parallels (x) feel intentional. And we know by now nothing about Rina is done carelessly. I remember Tim Federle’s interview for the finale saying Ricky is sometimes too naive for his own good. And I am sure the story line was going to make sense but as confirmed by Tim himself a lot of the things in Season 2 were rushed and the finale was rewritten (it was originally going to feature a lot of flashbacks) but the safety precautions due to covid changed those plans. Regardless, I am glad that arc got removed. Lily wasn’t an interesting character and I didn’t want her to take space from other characters. Now, with that out of the way, let’s move on.

Ricky opens this season as well as being given the first song of the season: Finally Free. This song really expands on Second Chance and tell us where Ricky’s mindset is before going to camp: embracing new starts, not going back to the old ways he used to handle all his feelings.

Some important parts: “Give me empty pages, just give me something new” Season 1 Ricky would’ve never wished for something like this. “Breakin' away from the broken hearts (Nini). No more mistakes, no more empty starts (Lily). I'm finally, finally free, finally, finally”. He follows with “Buildin' out from the bottom. Now there's no way to go but up” meaning he has to rebuild himself again. And another one that is important is: “And I'm going down a road that I don’t know. Yeah, I let it take me anywhere but home”. This takes us back to him calling Nini home (at his childhood home) on Season 2 in a matter that felt like attachment to his childhood (and old times) so this references him not going back to that unhealthy mindset.

In a way, all the events that happened lead for Ricky to have this realization. This is the Ricky that could’ve been ready to be with Gina. But Season 1 and Season 2 Ricky wasn’t ready for that and was denying it, when he allows himself to not be afraid of changes, his feelings take a whole new perspective. This is why he is able to understand his feelings for Gina were always deeper than he allowed himself to admit before. And very fitting with the theme, Ricky and Gina vow to just “start over” with their relationship. This season is not just about Ricky rebuilding himself but his relationship with Gina as well.

This season doesn’t have as many solo songs due to the limited episodes, but did a good job in paralleling the overall arc with the roles they were playing for the musical, especially with the “love triangle” (x). Gina represents Anna’s naive perspective on love due to EJ being her first relationship so a lot of her interactions with him felt very rose colored and passive (x). I did said before EJ isn’t exactly Hans but they drew a lot of intentional parallels between them, such as Gina not knowing EJ’s real name (and that line being in the WDYKAL duet about Hans). Ricky representing Kristoff in a way that he is also learning a new way to love someone. Plus, them having Gina and EJ dress like the actual characters in a dream like sequence was very much in the nose about those references.

In this season, Ricky is starting to discover the intensity of his feelings for Gina but he handles it very differently from Season 1. He isn’t trying to cross lines but remaining respectful of her relationship with EJ. I already spoke about how this is an intentional contrast to showcase Ricky’s growth (x). From trying to help both of them, from apologizing to Gina when he feels like his feelings might’ve been too obvious. To selflessly be there for Gina, because he is now discovering love isn’t selfish or has some gain. Love is about sacrifice, sometimes putting the person you love first despite what might come.

Now, here it comes Ricky and Gina’s first duet: What Do You Know About Love. It seems fitting for them because in a way, it reflects how they perceive love at that moment. In the song Anna has a very rose colored perception of love. She thinks it’s worth it even when they clearly aren’t on the same page and she’s idealizing it, and for Kristoff, love isn’t easy, and it requieres a lot of commitment. Ricky and Gina’s version is a lot more flirtier than the Broadway version, but the question “what do you know about love?” is what they ultimately learn from each other.

In the following episodes, Ricky helps Gina plan her promposal to EJ, despite his own feelings. I saw someone saying that a lot of Gina’s season 2 heartbreak was about thinking it was never going to be between her and Ricky. And a lot of Ricky’s heartbreak on Season 3 comes from regret, from letting Gina walk away, from letting something great slip through his fingers. At this point, he can’t turn back time but it’s willing to be there for her in any capacity Gina allows him to be. In the 60’s prom episode, Ricky could’ve told her what he feels for her but realized that it would be selfish to do this to Gina when she’s harboring her own heartbreak. His own growth has been great to watch throughout Season 3.

I also love how Ricky’s sub-plot involving the bucket list he wrote when he was a child of things to do before turning 18 is a metaphor to leaving his childhood and entering adulthood. I already spoke (x) how Nini being the person to help him complete his very last item represents how Nini was his childhood and him only ever getting with Gina when that transition has been done is very important for him as a character.

And this isn’t a Ricky solo, but I just love how this moment and this lyrics are used exactly for this scene because this is the moment Gina realizes it’s always going to be Ricky and what also makes her realize that she isn’t getting the love she deserves or wants for herself with EJ.

As all of us theorized, with WDYKAL, Ricky was going to sing “Kristoff’s Lullaby” because is a direct response to the duet. And he did. This is probably his most important solo song from the season because it puts into words what he feels for Gina and how much she has changed what he thinks about love. I’ve explained this before. (x) Gina has represented change from the very moment she came in (and she was described as such multiple times). She was new, different, and represented the changes Ricky was afraid of. But what they didn’t know is that they are able to give each other what the other needs. Gina made him put into perceptive the idea that he can move forward, that he can deal with his life falling into different directions. Gina has made him understand that he can and will be ready for when changes knock at his door because loving her isn’t about holding back.

Important parts from the song are: “You light the world for me. You live life fearlessly, braver than the bravest of us do. You trust, you hope, you dare. You choose to feel and care. I thought that I was strong 'til I bumped into you” I think this is the perfect way to describe Gina’s effect on Ricky’s life and how brave Gina has been about her feelings for Ricky despite her fear about forming attachments. And I’ve always said “Everything I thought I did. You've gone and changed it, kid. You're what I know about love.” is really the climax of the song and by Ricky singing this directly to Gina (while Nini is also on the audience) is makes a full circle. (x)

This season, Ricky learned to love theater and commit to it, not just because he enjoys it but because he wanted Gina to shine. He created a good friendship with the group, as opposed to Season 2, where he was disconnected to the drama club he now has his own space within. He called himself “a theater guy” and was able to guide Jet towards it. He knew Jet had to find a place to help him cope with his home life and Ricky’s arc comes to a sweet full circle for this.

Ricky ends the season in such a good place. He has grown a lot and allowed things to just be. I like the fact he remained respectful of Gina, even when his feelings were quiet obvious. And I spoke about how important it is that their relationship started by Gina setting her own boundaries. She needed to set the lines and be like “I have feelings for you but I am also okay if it doesn’t happen between us” because a lot of Gina’s journey on Season 3 was about coming into herself and discovering her expectations in a relationship. Her telling him what she feels for him but not allowing it to weight her down and it being a parallel to 206 was also intentional. It was also important for Ricky. He needed that reassurance and initiative to finally give it his all. As he proves on Season 4, he knows and now learned his lesson. He is committed to not mess things up with her. He is committed to improve.

Season 3 ends with Ricky and Gina’s right time. Both on the same page. It was important for them to experience all of that individual journey to get together in a romantic relationship that can be fulfilling and healthy for them both.

Season 4 starts the season with Ricky and Gina in a very happy relationship. You can see that Ricky is motivated to share things with her and do things for them as a couple. A lot of Ricky and Gina’s relationship works because they embrace each other’s personalities and love languages. Gina encourages and reciprocates Ricky’s dorky behavior. As I said, she doesn’t feel suffocated by it like Nini (x) but she wants that level of commitemment and gestures.

At the start of the season, Ricky and Gina are keeping their relationship a secret because Gina is worried about the negative comments from people (mostly her mom) and she doesn’t want the bubble they’ve built together to crash. It’s understandable that we know how controlling her mom is. Ricky agrees despite his own fears. In the first episodes, we can see that a lot is changing for Gina in a way that might take her away from Ricky. This is an opportunity for him to be tested by old insecurities but make it right and not going back to his old tendencies. So, instead of trying to hold Gina back and wishing for the opportunities to disappear, he is happy, encouraging and supportive despite the odds. This thing is reflected in their very first original duet and song of the season: Maybe This Time.

It’s a song about hoping this is the right time for them to get it right after all of the missed opportunities between them and their old relationships. They’re finally in a place where they can be together but as foreshadowing for the season a lot of things are going to change and threaten the stable place they’ve created. But not matter what the future holds they promise to be together and enjoy the ride instead of trying to control the uncertain future.

Part of the lyrics: “Maybe this time is all that we get but we've still got lots to figure out. I’d love to control what happens next I'll give you my all right now. Don't look back, just pull me closer. Hands up on this rollercoaster”. I explained (x) but having Ricky and Gina deal with similar experiences in their past relationships is to not just show how much they’ve grown and learned but also to show how committed they are to be together and be with each other as a team.

In 403, Ricky experiences a bit of insecurities over Mack but despite that he prepares a date with Gina and also apologizes for the comment he made where he sort of dismissed the impact Mack’s show had on Gina’s childhood. It might have been silly but I think it shows Ricky’s self awareness and that he takes seriously all of the things that make Gina happy. In the following episodes, Ricky tries to be supportive of Gina’s life changing opportunities and trying to find a way to make it easier for her to handle both the musical and the movie, but it starts getting a bit too overwhelming and when he finds out Gina hasn’t told her mom about them, it awakens his insecurities. This is where Speak Out comes. Although it is supposed to be for EJ to also speak about his fears, it’s about how Ricky hasn’t said some things out loud, how his mom abandonment issues have created a lot of fears into his life and has made him feel like he isn’t enough of a reason for someone to stay.

Part of the lyrics are: “I'm so sick of my past breakin' me like glass shackled by my emotion.” (…) “Don't wanna walk away from this. Don't wanna be a sinkin' ship. The anchor on my tongue won't let me swim. Don't wanna waste a moment more. Don't know what I've been waitin' for. I'll never get a chance like this again.”

I think this moment was an outlet for Ricky to speak about things that are the root of his insecurities. How his mom decided she wanted a new life in a new city and left Ricky. How Nini didn’t think Ricky was enough for her and even how emotionally difficult it must’ve been for him to hear The Rose song and how Ricky’s entire attempts makes her feel trapped. The reason Ricky was running away is because he thought Gina was also going to leave him for bigger and better things and didn’t want to anticipate it. He never thought he is enough of a reason to stay because frankly, no one had really taken Ricky seriously or believed in his potential, except for Miss Jenn and Gina.

After that much needed conversation with EJ, Ricky goes to see Gina only to see her with Mack. I feel like in Ricky’s mind, he feels like she decided and he’s nothing compared to him. Luckily, Gina sees him and runs after him and tells him she has told his mom about them. I feel like people don’t understand that since a lot of Ricky’s fears have to do with him feeling like he isn’t good enough to be a secure option he doesn’t except people to actually chose him. In his relationship with Gina, he puts efforts but so does Gina for him. She wants him in her life and in her dreams. He isn’t an obstacle or stops her from achieving those dreams, he’s always been a motivation for Gina to pursue them.

In the last episodes, there’s still so many things Ricky has to address, not just about Gina but his college plans and their future. At this point, he has convinced himself that Gina most likely will go to chase her dreams and that it doesn’t involve him. He learned his lesson before, he told Nini he wanted her to stay only for that to be reasonably met with distaste. But the thing is, all of Ricky’s gestures where always meant to be received by Gina, who wants to be asked to stay. I explained this before. Had Ricky asked Gina to stay, she would have done it. But I love how she didn’t have to chose between her need for stability and her wants to be successful.

407 is great at paralleling Troy and Gabriela’s dilemma with Ricky and Gina’s very own issues. “Scream” comes at the moment Ricky is torn between letting Gina go and his unclear future. He feels time is running out. Later, we have them singing Right Here Right Now, a song about how the future is coming soon and they should make every second last. In a way, it also parallels Maybe This Time but less hopeful.

And as an expectacular full circle moment, Ricky says in his speech how thankful he is about the drama club changing his life and getting him through a hard situation. As of Season 1, Ricky came in being a cynical skate rat that didn’t seem to have many friends and was pessimist about love. It didn’t seem like he had hobbies or prospects outside of skating. He had a very troubling home life and dealing with a lot of anxiety. His relationship with Nini was in the verge of ending like his parents relationship and so were his last remainders of childhood. He had to let go of things that were holding him back and accepting of changes and by the end of Season 4 we have seen Ricky become a man in so many ways. He basically let his childhood go by the end of Season 3. And this final season was about him asking questions about his own future and how that would look like for him.

And we are finally here with “Love You, Forever”. The last song Ricky Bowen ever sings on the show and how perfect of a full circle moment it is for his growth. It starts and it ends in the same place: the auditorium. Just in very different situations and a whole new Ricky.

He starts Season 1 singing “I Think I Kinda You Know” to Nini but being unable to say I love you to her face or in front of people. Mostly because his own insecurities involving his parents and how he wasn’t secure enough. I also said that when he finally did say I love you, it was still swimming in his fears of attachment and his parents divorce. It was a confession that felt like desperation to hold onto something steady and safe. And he does say this with “not net, not fear, right here in this moment”. But now, Ricky sings Love You Forever to Gina, and this time very clearly saying the words “I am in love” and “I love you” to her face and in front of his friends (and the world). He say it because he not longer associates love with something scary and that’s also thanks to Gina. He isn’t saying it to Gina to make her stay either. He is saying it because he feels it. He doesn’t know what the future holds (at that point he didn’t even know Gina changed the movie location to SLC) but he loves her and he isn’t afraid of saying it despite the unknown circumstances.

The lyrics says it all: “I been wishin' on a fallin' star for too long. I been runnin', I don't know what from but you and I've become a sacred kinda home. I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love and I know it. No net, no fear right here in this moment. I've never been more sure of what I got, yeah. Cause this is so much more than puppy love, so. I'll say it first, no matter what the cost. Here I am, full heart, full stop. I love you” and one important lyric that didn’t make it to the show but is in the full version: “I never knew that I could feel so sure and so strong how can three old words feel so brand new? Ooh, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love and I know it. Mm, so rare, so real right here in this moment. I've never been more sure of what I got. And I'm starin' at the only thing I want, so” because as I said, it’s not just about him saying I love you to Gina and being sure about it but to tell his parents and his friends. Gina’s love has made Ricky so much more emotionally open.

I would describe Ricky’s journey like this:

Season 1: Attachement, fear of changes and sticking to the status quo. Season 2: Denial, isolation, reconning and letting go. Season 3: embracing new beginnings, self improvement and passage to adulthood. Season 4: Growing, learning and embracing the future.

Ricky’s arc has always been incredible because it’s something that took time and effort. Ricky’s arc wasn’t a 180 of one season, it came with ups and downs until he finally managed to do it right not just for himself but for those he loves.

#hsmtmts #high school musical the musical the series #gina porter #ricky bowen #ricky x gina #rina #hsmtmts season 4 #hsmtmts s4 #hsmtmts rina #text post #meta #hsmtmts meta

[aufdemzauberberg]

when yer head gets twisted and yer mind grows numb when you think you're too old, too young, too smart or too dumb when yer laggin' behind an' losing yer pace in a slow-motion crawl of life's busy race no matter what yer doing if you start givin' up if the wine don't come to the top of yer cup if the wind's got you sideways with one hand holdin' on and the other starts slipping and the feeling is gone and yer train engine fire needs a new spark to catch it and the wood's easy findin' but yer lazy to fetch it and yer sidewalk starts curlin' and the street gets too long and you start walkin' backwards though you know its wrong and lonesome comes up as down goes the day and tomorrow's morning seems so far away and you feel the reins from yer pony are slippin' and yer rope is a-slidin' cause yer hands are a-drippin' and yer sun-decked desert and evergreen valleys turn to broken down slums and trash-can alleys and yer sky cries water and yer drain pipe's a-pourin' and the lightnin's a-flashing and the thunder's a-crashin' and the windows are rattlin' and breakin' and the roof tops a-shakin' and yer whole world's a-slamming and banging and yer minutes of sun turn to hours of storm and to yourself you sometimes say "I never knew it was gonna be this way why didn't they tell me the day I was born" and you start gettin' chills and yer jumping from sweat and you're looking for something you ain't quite found yet and yer knee-deep in the dark water with yer hands in the air and the whole world's a-watching with a window peek stare and yer good gal leaves and she's long gone a-flying and yer heart feels sick like fish when they're frying and yer jackhammer falls from yer hand to yer feet and you need it badly but it lays on the street and yer bell's bangin' loudly but you can't hear its beat and you think yer ears might a been hurt or yer eyes've turned filthy from the sight-blinding dirt and you figured you failed in yesterdays rush when you were faked out an' fooled while facing a four flush and all the time you were holdin' three queens and it's making you mad, it's makin' you mean like in the middle of Life magazine bouncin' around a pinball machine and there's something on yer mind you wanna be saying that somebody someplace oughta be hearin' but it's trapped on yer tongue and sealed in yer head and it bothers you badly when you're laying in bed and no matter how you try you just can't say it and yer scared to yer soul you just might forget it and yer eyes get swimmy from the tears in yer head and yer pillows of feathers turn to blankets of lead and the lion's mouth opens and yer staring at his teeth and his jaws start closing with you underneath and yer flat on your belly with yer hands tied behind and you wish you'd never taken that last detour sign and you say to yourself just what am I doing on this road I'm walkin', on this trail I'm turnin' on this curve I'm hanging on this pathway I'm strolling, in the space I'm taking in this air I'm inhaling am I mixed up too much, am I mixed up too hard why am I walking, where am I running what am I saying, what am I knowing on this guitar I'm playing, on this banjo I'm frailin' on this mandolin I'm strumming, in the song I'm singin' in the tune I'm humming, in the words I'm thinking in the words that I'm writing in this ocean of hours I'm all the time drinkin' who am I helping, what am I breaking what am I giving, what am I taking

but you try with your whole soul best never to think these thoughts and never to let them kind of thoughts gain ground or make yer heart pound but then again you know when they're around just waiting for a chance to slip and drop down cause sometimes you hear 'em when the night times comes creeping and you fear that they might catch you a-sleeping and you jump from yer bed, from yer last chapter of dreamin' and you can't remember for the best of yer thinking if that was you in the dream that was screaming and you know that it's something special you're needin' and you know that there's no drug that'll do for the healin' and no liquor in the land to stop yer brain from bleeding and you need something special yeah, you need something special all right you need a fast flying train on a tornado track to shoot you someplace and shoot you back you need a cyclone wind on a stream engine howler that's been banging and booming and blowing forever that knows yer troubles a hundred times over you need a Greyhound bus that don't bar no race that won't laugh at yer looks your voice or your face and by any number of bets in the book will be rolling long after the bubblegum craze you need something to open up a new door to show you something you seen before but overlooked a hundred times or more you need something to open your eyes you need something to make it known that it's you and no one else that owns that spot that yer standing, that space that you're sitting that the world ain't got you beat that it ain't got you licked it can't get you crazy no matter how many times you might get kicked you need something special all right

you need something special to give you hope but hope's just a word that maybe you said or maybe you heard on some windy corner 'round a wide-angled curve but that's what you need man, and you need it bad and yer trouble is you know it too good cause you look an' you start getting the chills cause you can't find it on a dollar bill and it ain't on Macy's window sill and it ain't on no rich kid's road map and it ain't in no fat kid's fraternity house and it ain't made in no Hollywood wheat germ and it ain't on that dimlit stage with that half-wit comedian on it ranting and raving and taking yer money and you think it's funny no you can't find it neither in no night club or no yacht club and it ain't in the seats of a supper club and sure as hell you're bound to tell that no matter how hard you rub you just ain't a-gonna find it on yer ticket stub no, and it ain't in the rumors people're tellin' you and it ain't in the pimple-lotion people are sellin' you and it ain't in no cardboard-box house or down any movie star's blouse and you can't find it on the golf course and Uncle Remus can't tell you and neither can Santa Claus and it ain't in the cream puff hair-do or cotton candy clothes and it ain't in the dime store dummies or bubblegum goons and it ain't in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices that come knockin' and tappin' in Christmas wrappin' sayin' ain't I pretty and ain't I cute and look at my skin look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry when you can't even sense if they got any insides these people so pretty in their ribbons and bows no you'll not now or no other day find it on the doorsteps made out-a paper mache and inside it the people made of molasses that every other day buy a new pair of sunglasses and it ain't in the fifty-star generals and flipped-out phonies who'd turn you in for a tenth of a penny who breathe and burp and bend and crack and before you can count from one to ten do it all over again but this time behind yer back my friend the ones that wheel and deal and whirl and twirl and play games with each other in their sand-box world and you can't find it either in the no-talent fools that run around gallant and make all rules for the ones that got talent and it ain't in the ones that ain't got any talent but think they do and think they're foolin' you the ones who jump on the wagon just for a while cause they know it's in style to get their kicks, get out of it quick and make all kinds of money and chicks and you yell to yourself and you throw down yer hat sayin', "Christ do I gotta be like that ain't there no one here that knows where I'm at ain't there no one here that knows how I feel good God Almighty THAT STUFF AIN'T REAL"

no but that ain't yer game, it ain't yer race you can't hear yer name, you can't see yer face you gotta look some other place and where do you look for this hope that yer seekin' where do you look for this lamp that's a-burnin' where do you look for this oil well gushin' where do you look for this candle that's glowin' where do you look for this hope that you know is there and out there somewhere and your feet can only walk down two kinds of roads your eyes can only look through two kinds of windows your nose can only smell two kinds of hallways you can touch and twist and turn two kinds of doorknobs you can either go to the church of your choice or you can go to brooklyn state hospital you'll find God in the church of your choice you'll find Woody Guthrie in brooklyn state hospital and though it's only my opinion I may be right or wrong you'll find them both in the grand canyon at sundown

#fuck it unloading the whole thing on you guys because magnificent #also I was bored as fuck as you can tell #last thoughts on woody guthrie

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 1: Breakin’ Up With a Broken Heart

From: Bigger Houses Series

Pairing: (Future) Mountain Ranger! Ari Levinson x Reader, mentions of past ex x reader

Summary: A year after a breakup that left you shattered, you’re ready to start life anew in your secluded Colorado mountain cabin. Just when you swear off love is when a new beast crosses your path.

Word Count: 1,896

Content/Warnings: Mentions of heartbreak, in-depth description of a breakup and feelings regarding that, safe driving in juxtaposition to a reckless person, deep introspection, enjoyment of mountain cabin vibes, lmk if I missed any

Author’s Note: This serves as a lot of exposition for what I hope will be a very lovey story; everyone knows you’ll probably face some heartbreak first. Also, yes, this is heavily based on my first heartbreak. What about it? Anyway, please enjoy the start of this long-anticipated fic. Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are appreciated more than you know. And in case you didn’t hear it yet today, I love you.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

I STRONGLY suggest listening to this song, not just because it’ll help get across the vibes I’d like, but also because it’s a really good song.

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Next >

Your break-up

It’s been months since you walked out on him and left town in a cloud of dust. It didn’t end well, but you’d be lying if you said you thought he was right for you.

One year ago

It ended in a text. Nine months gone in a text.

I’m done.

To which you responded: You mean our relationship? Ok.

It was honestly a relief. You had been looking for a way out, but couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Maybe a part of you wondered if someone would ever want you that much again, even though he only ever showed it in words and not action. Your head was okay with the situation, but it seemed your heart didn’t get the memo. Even though it ended by what you considered a mutual agreement (if that’s what you call him dumping you over you not visiting on a weekend you were spending with your family since he didn’t prioritize anyone’s time but his own), it still hurt. Three days later, he posted a pic with a new girl and a new car the same price as the ring you two had looked at.

He was a textbook narcissist with mommy issues, how’d they always find you? It was the kind of relationship where three months in, you should’ve ended it, but stuck around for another six. It was full of late-night calls, but not even the good ones. These were the ones that happened because he never seemed to have time for you during the day. The attention seemed good at first, but the calls would leave you tired the next morning, unable to get up as early as you wanted to so you could be productive. And you couldn’t talk to your mom and sister about it. They hated him. They saw through his selfish behavior before you and you wish you would’ve listened before giving him everything you could, which still wasn’t enough.

He said he wanted to get married hardly a month in because he loved everything about you. At first, you thought it was a joke, but the more he said it, the more you somehow convinced yourself that was what you wanted, too, but it could not have been more far from the truth. You wanted a happy life with a partner, but not like that and not that fast. Well, was it too fast? Or did it just feel that way because it was with the wrong person? Plus, it was less of a partnership, and more of a continuous compromise put on your part. Either way, as time went on, you realized that every small conversation was leading to a fight and your work and other relationships were suffering from the time he expected of you, but never returned. All he did was expect you to give, not holding himself to that same standard, but for some reason, you kept holding on. You had even looked at rings, not committing, though, because he knew you’d want him to speak to your mother first and she would never go for it. So, the relationship continued to drag on until he got upset since you said no to him one too many times.

But that was so long ago now. You did your time crying, listening to all the sad songs, wondering where you could have possibly gone wrong until you had enough. The only thing you really did wrong was not trust your instincts. You went too far following his heart and not far enough with your own mind. Love can be cerebral, right? It should be. There was no reason to feel sorry for yourself, you were better off and doing all the things you wanted that he’d held you back from before. He had very evidently moved on, and so could you. Sick of feeling down in a town that only reminded you of heartbreak, you found what you needed right now: a new job and an open Zillow posting you’d been watching for forever: your ticket out.

You were taking a vacation to your brand new start, tears long gone and dried with the wind that blew through your hair as you drove through the wooded mountainside. The sun was warm on your face, all loneliness was left in the darkness you left behind. Boxes and bags graciously organized by your mom filled the back of your SUV, and her’s sat just as full, driving behind you up the mountain passes. Before you’d gotten up here, the two of you had stopped at the last gas station, filling up your cars, getting a couple snacks, and stretching your legs before the final couple miles upward. Standing outside your cars gassing up, she looked over to you.

“Hey, just a reminder to be careful in the mountains. You don’t know what’s up there. Mountain lions, bears, snakes.”

“Oh my” you said giggling at your own Wizard of Oz reference.

She smiled and rolled her eyes at you “haha, very funny, but I’m serious. Not just about living there, but driving, too. You never know when a deer could jump out.”

You’d heard this a thousand times, being from wooded, albeit less dense, areas before. Plus, your mom was always concerned about you. Perks of growing up with a dad who was never really present. All of her focus could go to you. Never seeing a proper model relationship was probably half of the reason you had gotten into this mess, too, but you’d never blame that. She’d given you all she could and done a darn good job raising a driven, successful daughter (in every aspect except romance). You were eternally grateful for her support of moving where you had always wanted. It was honestly the perfect opportunity. Once the pumps clicked and the gas was finished, you both prepared to hop back into your cars.

“And remember, don’t talk to strangers.”

“Mom, we’re driving. I doubt we’ll run into anyone else up there.”

She shrugged and you responded with a small smirk, shaking your head as you put the keys in the ignition.

Back to driving higher and higher in elevation, you were drumming your fingers on the dashboard to the songs on the radio that you had blasting. Benefit of driving alone: no interrupted music. As you kept going, the road was becoming narrower and windier, pairing with the dimming afternoon sun. As you were rounding a big bend, you saw something step out into the road and you immediately swerved around it to avoid crashing, pulling over onto the side right after. What was that? A bear? A deer? No, not a deer, too tall. Your mom pulled over right behind you and rolled down her window as you got out of the car and walked back to hers to fill her in.

“What happened?”

“Something stepped out into the road. I’m not sure what it was.” A tall man with cascading brown hair and a full, fitting beard stepped into your vision through your mom’s passenger window. “Or should I say someone. I’m gonna go talk to him, make sure he’s okay.”

“Alright, kiddo. Be careful, though. I’ll be right here.”

You stood up from leaning against your mom’s driver side door and made your way around the front of the car, your eyes drifting upwards from the ground to a narrow waist and broad shoulders, chest rising and falling with deep breaths, eventually meeting with the most gorgeous pair of ocean blues. All these features belonged to the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, but that didn’t excuse the fact that he ran out into the middle of the road and could’ve killed either of you.

Caught off guard by the whole situation, your brain defaulted to panic and defensive mode.

“Oh my gosh! I thought you were a bear! I almost hit you!”

The man looked at you with wide eyes and simply blinked, unable to form a response until he stuttered out

“I-it’s really my fault. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

Even when evidently distracted and out of it, he was still insanely attractive, making you grow more anxious by the second under his intense stare and scrutinization as he continued to stand there, taking you in and then catching himself and looking anywhere else. You were self-conscious of your hair that was tucked under a beanie to combat the cold mountain air and likely disheveled from your long day. He was obviously in a state where arguing wouldn’t benefit either of you, and honestly, you were in the same boat, ready to get to your new home and start unpacking. The sun was starting to set already and you definitely didn’t want to be out after dark, plus you knew the exhaustion from the drive would be catching up soon.

“Um, it’s ok, I just think you need to be more careful next time. Listen, I don’t wanna be pulled over on this stretch of road for too long, God forbid a real bear, or someone without good reflexes comes around, but, I’m glad you’re not hurt. Take care.”

Wanting to avoid any more awkward interactions and the opportunity of embarrassing yourself in front of an adonis, you rushed back to your car and started back up the mountain. You could see the image of the man in your side mirror getting smaller, his gaze still fixed on your car, until you turned and lost sight of him.

Once you pulled into your new home, your mom met you with a suitcase, ready to take the stairs to the entrance.

“Well he was cute, albeit a little reckless. Wonder what was going on”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever see him again, though. Maybe that’s for the best. I don’t need to make a habit of almost hitting things when driving around up here.”

You unlocked the door and held it open for your mom as she walked in and turned back to look at you. “Well, by the looks of how small this town is, you might. And once you figure out whatever’s going on in his head, maybe he’ll be a nice new friend to have up here.”

“Um, yeah, I guess. Maybe. After all this time, I think I’ll need a friend. Someone to restore my hope for humanity.”

You tried to lighten the mood regarding your distaste for others that had grown from feeling so deeply betrayed and your mom gave a knowing glance in response. But it seemed there was something more to it. It was knowing in more ways than one, hardly noticeable, as you turned to go get another load to bring in from the trunk.

Your mind raced with thoughts of having to get all of this junk into the house. You stepped out into the crisp mountain air, admiring the deepening blue sky and unobstructed stars, the darkness in contrast to the way your mood had brightened slowly from something similarly dark over the past year, becoming more like the stars that glowed in the beautiful night ski. As you trotted down the stairs, your tried to convince yourself that being here was going to be everything you hoped for yourself and your future ticket to happiness. That the last thing on your mind was love.

Next >

#Ari Levinson #ari levinson fanfiction #ari levinson x reader #mountain ranger! ari #mountain ranger Ari x reader #mountain ranger! Ari x reader #Red Sea diving resort #Chris Evans #bigger houses #bigger houses series #chapter 1 #bigger houses chapter 1 #bigger houses chapter 1 breaking up with a broken heart #breaking up with a broken heart #Dan and Shay #dan + shay #Spotify #SoundCloud

[hainethehero]

Steve x Bucky x Clint drabble...

"Why are you breakin' my heart?" Steve whimpers, tears in his ocean blue eyes.

Bucky shakes his head, running fingers through his hair impatiently. "Don't cry, doll. Please don't cry."

Steve swipes at his runny nose hastily, "No! Tell me what I did! Tell me what I did wrong!"

"Steve-"

"I did everything I could to get you back!" Steve wails, "I just got you back-"

"Darlin'-"

The blonde grabs a hold of Bucky's metal wrist and squeezes. "Just tell me what to do, Bucky. Tell me and I'll do it, please- please don't leave me, please-"

Bucky exhales heavily, his eyes stinging. "St- baby, you don't understand. I have to go-"

"Then take me with you," Steve interrupts, eyes wide and so full of hope, it breaks Bucky's own heart.

"Only one of us can go back, sweetheart," he explains gently, as if Steve didn't understand.

"You don't! You don't have to go, Bucky, please!"

Bucky makes a disapproving sound again. It's sickening to Steve's ears.

Steve hears himself crying- bawling, really- and it doesn't even sound like him. He's never heard himself so distraught and broken before. It's like the wailing cry of a dying animal. His throat burns from sobbing, his eyes are sore and blurry. Snot and tears run down his face.

Can Bucky not see just how sad he's making him?

Did Bucky even know that Steve's heart felt like it was beating out of his chest? Like it'd jump out at any second and leave him cold and dead in the wake of Bucky's absence?

"Stevie..."

"Jamie please, please please please please..."

"Please-!"

*

"Steve? Sweetheart, wake up, you're having a nightmare."

Steve's eyes pop open and he's suddenly back in Avengers Tower. His eyes are wet, tear tracks drying down his cheeks. His chest is heaving as if he'd just run a marathon. And his body feels paralyzed in abject fear.

A gentle hand strokes his face and caresses his jaw, petting him softly.

"It's okay," Bucky whispers, "only a dream, darlin."

Steve, still traumatized from his nightmare pushes Bucky away with a petulant growl. He curls up against the headboard, arms wrapped around his bent knees.

Clint, who's sleeping on the other side of Steve, startles awake from the sudden movement, eyes on high alert.

"Whas'at?"

Bucky stops for a few, totally confused at Steve pushing him away. He turns and flicks on the bedside lamp, setting the room in an incandescent glow. Clint winces and turns to put on his hearing aids.

"Steve?"

The blonde is still curled up in a tight ball, trembling from some imaginary cold. Bucky can hear the stifled hiccups and sniffles, a soft whining in the back of his throat. He crawls closer but doesn't touch Steve for fear he'd push away from him again.

"Baby boy, talk to me. What's gotten you so upset?"

Steve shakes his head stubbornly. Then he mutters, "You left me..."

Bucky frowns and shares a confused look with Clint who still looks delirious from being woken up so abruptly. "I'm- I'm right here sweetheart."

"Yeah baby," the archer grunts, voice rough from sleep, "Bucky ain't going nowhere."

Steve shakes his head harder and finally looks at them with a teary glare. His blue eyes are steely and electric as he points an accusatory finger at Bucky.

"Daddy left... said he didn't wanna stay... went back to-" a sob escapes from Steve's mouth and he buries his face in his palms again, whining like a kicked puppy.

"Went back to what baby?"

"Brooklyn... when I was smaller..." Steve mumbles through loud sniffles.

Clint cuts Bucky with a disappointed look as if Bucky could control what Steve dreamed about. Then he leans against the headboard with Steve and wraps the blonde in his arms. Bucky tries not to feel the sting of rejection when Steve willingly accepts Clint's touch.

"Oh come here, sweetpea," he murmurs, giving Steve's temple a smacking kiss that makes him squeak in slight amusement.

Bucky can't help but feel a little bitter at the dream version of himself in Steve's head. Why'd he have to go and ruin things, dammit?

"You know Bucky loves you, right?" Clint asks their boy.

Steve goes suspiciously quiet before nodding twice, face still buried in Clint's bare chest.

"And you know he'd never leave you, right?"

"But-" Steve starts, the feisty little fucker, but Clint gently admonishes his outburst.

"Ah ah, Daddy's talkin'."

Steve bites his lip, eyes big and cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

Clint continues, "It was a nightmare, darlin. Scary? Sure. But real? Nah, Bucky's right here with you and me. Look at em."

Steve slowly pulls himself off of Clint's chest to look at Bucky, who's still looking a bit wary but more concerned than anything. He offers Steve a soft, encouraging smile and stretches out his metal hand on the bed. Steve's immediately drawn to the movement, blinking at the metal appendages thoughtfully. Then his brows furrow and his lips quiver- a telltale sign that he's about to burst into tears again.

Bucky almost pulls away but in an instant, he's got a lap full of a sobbing super soldier whose arms and legs wrap tightly around his body like a clingy spider.

"Thought you wanted to leave me for- ...for when I was tiny," he sniffs sadly.

Bucky absolutely melts and squeezes Steve tighter. "Oh baby doll, you're the same punk I loved all those years ago. Wouldn't make sense going back to the past when I've got you right here."

Steve mumbles something in response but it's all garbled and doesn't make sense. Clint chuckles and fondly pets Steve's downy blonde hair.

"Never gonna happen, sweetness. You're stuck with your Daddies forever."

Steve mutters out a quick, "'kay," and nods his head a couple times as if trying to reassure himself. Then he pouts and says, "Love you," in a small voice, pecking Bucky's lips shyly.

"Aw, you're so sweet, baby doll," Bucky praises, which makes Steve blush like crazy. He ducks his head and grumbles into Bucky's chest, sniffing.

Clint grins, then rolls his eyes. "Alright baby boy, let's get you tucked in to bed."

Bucky arranges Steve off his lap and back in his former sleeping space between himself and Clint. The blonde, clad only in soft lacy underwear and fuzzy blue socks snuggles back into Clint's waiting arms, while Bucky presses their chests together. He wraps his arms around Bucky's middle, while Bucky gently guides Steve's head to rest on his ample bicep. Steve's nose brushes the man's stubble, inhaling his woodsy scent and sighing in absolute comfort of being sandwiched by his Daddies.

"Good night baby," Bucky whispers into his hair, while Clint slips a warm hand past the delicate waistband of Steve's lacy underwear. He carefully avoids Steve's little prick and just rubs his belly in slow, comforting motions.

Steve doesn't have any more nightmares that night.

#steve rogers #steve rogers is a bottom #bottom steve rogers #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #clint barton #hawkeye #captain america #sugar sweet steven #verse #angst #soft steve rogers #daddyverse #stucky #winterhawk #hawkshield #baby boy #steeb

[uninspired--poet]

Because of her, because of her Her eternal summer smile is breakin' my defenses, I know Damn well won't find no peaceful sleepin' with her up in my head Caught me by the collar at the graveside 'Neath a sky of royal blue Like you're sayin', "I'm here now" I never questioned I was acceptin' Until she stepped in, movin' like beautiful truth If there were others in that room I didn't see 'em babe Now I really think you're heaven sent 'Cause you've been forcin' all these hollow hearts to feel again Now I really think you're heaven sent 'Cause there's a beauty in being broken, I've been seein' it What would it do if I told you?

#sylvaina #wlw fanfic #sylvanas windrunner #jaina proudmoore #colors

[asterdisaster06]

Forever Winter

simon "ghost" riley x john "soap" mactavish

Pt 1. Pt 2. Pt. 3

summary > “I’m tired of you disappearing for weeks and then waltzing back into my life like it’s nothing.”

“Better than me disappearing for good.”

“Is it?”

. . .

word count > 1.3k

a/n > mmm pain and suffering. Tbh this is a self comfort fic for how I wished a conversation with an old situationship ended.

ao3

“I’ll be fine on my own,” Soap says.

“Are you sure? If you need us you know which market we’ll be in right? Price just needs a few ingredients for tonight's dinner, mkay?” Gaz fusses over him, heartwarming in the mother-hen kind of way. 

“Yes, yes, and got it,” Soap replies, practically shoving the two out the door.

“Call us if you need anything, you hear me,” Price barks out. It reminds MacTavish of time on the battlefield a long time ago.

“Sir, yes sir,” Soap offers up a mock salute.

Price rolls his eyes and drags Gaz by the arm out the door of the house the three had shared for the past few days. It had been rough, but Soap was doing some healing on his own. He seems fine most of the time, forcing smiles and neverminds. Grief eventually catches up to him on days such as these, but it diminishes a little with every day that passes. Soap thinks that at some point he might be able to truthfully say he’s okay.

A knock at the door crushes that dream almost immediately. Despite everything in him, his intuition that has kept him alive all this time, he opens the door to see Simon’s face staring back at him with flowers in his hand.

“Johnny-”

“Don’t call me that, you lost that privilege as soon as you ran off without a word,” Soap snaps.

“I know, God, I know that there’s nothing I can do to make up for all of the shit I’ve put you through. I know all of my broken promises means you can’t trust me. And I’m not asking you to, just. . . can we talk?”

“Now you want to talk? Huh? I have spent the past year wishing that you would say these words to me. Too fucking bad it’s far too late for us,” Soap spits, considering slamming the door on the fingers of the man in front of him.

“Please. If not now, then later?” His voice comes out begging.

“You were really selfish, Simon,” Soap sighs.

“I know, all this time I was ignoring you breakin’ down as if it would go away. I should have known better than to believe that you coped in the same way I did,” Simon speaks, shameful like a dog whose owner came home to the mess they made.

“Yeah, you should’ve. I have always called to check up on you, 5 AM wasted you. You were always long gone, not even listening to me. The one time I needed you, truly needed you, you turned your back on me,” Soaps’ voice breaks, but he refuses to let the tears fall in front of the man he used to look up to. “Please go, I don’t want to see you right now.”

“I understand. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything,” Simon relents, hesitantly grasping the hands of his beloved, handing the bouquet of white orchids over. 

“I’m sorry,” Soap whispers, a breaths width away from his ghost.

“Why are you sorry?” Ghost asks sincerely, faltering as he reaches out to instinctively comfort his lover before realizing.

“I’m sorry that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you, and I’m sorry to ask you to move on. Allow me to move on,” Soap murmurs, leaning into the rough and callous hand grazing his cheek.

“I can accept all of that, except you asking me to move on. I still love you too much to let that happen,” Simon smiles sadly. 

“That’s hard to believe. Then again, I don’t believe anything much I hear these days.”

“Believe in one thing, I won't go away. I promise I’ll respect the distance you set, but my heart won't let you go. I know it’s selfish of me, but I have to ask you to promise never to get back with me if you truly think it would be detrimental to you. God knows I’ve caused you enough pain and suffering," Simon leans forward, letting his forehead rest against Soaps. 

“I promise. Goodbye, Simon,” Soap takes a step back.

“Goodbye, Johnny.”

. . .

“I pulled at every thread, trying to solve the puzzles in his head. Lived my life scared to death he'd decide to leave instead,” Soap sighs, recounting what he had told his therapist for his boyfriend. “I’d be in pieces on the floor, pacing at 3 AM wondering if Simon was still alive.”

“Hey, listen to me, I need you to know that if I ever do that to you I fully expect you to rip me a new one. You and your entire squad of terrifying teammates,” He chuckles.

“I don’t know who’s luckier for you treating me so well. Me for experiencing what I always wished for, or you for getting to live another day,” Soap smiles. 

“How could I not treat you like this? In fact, you deserve more than what I could ever dream of giving you.”

“I love you,” Soap says softly.

It had been a few months since the last time Soap had even seen, let alone thought about Ghost. They had their occasional interactions, always kept brief and to the point. Both of them had kept to their promises, respecting the lines the other had set. Sometimes Soap had really wanted to take him back, getting lost in thought about the what ifs of it all - wishing it was how it used to be. 

“Johnny?” A voice from the crowd calls out, Soap’s heart stopping at the tone he recognized so well. 

“Simon,” A curt reply masking the pain seeping through the cracks of his facade. 

“How. . . how have you been?” Ghost asks, clearing his throat as if he hadn’t used it in months. 

“I’ve been doing better.” Soap leaves it at that, leaning into his new lover's side. 

“That’s good to hear. Tell the boys I said hi?” Simon says, phrasing it as a tentative question. 

“Yeah, yeah sure. Will do,” Soap chews at the inside of his cheek. 

“I’ll see you around,” Ghost lingers a bit, fitting for his callsign, before eventually departing. His figure seemed to long for the past that could never be again.

“Are you okay?” Soap was asked.

“I think I will be,” Johnny responds bittersweetly. 

. . .

Two invitations were the only interactions that Soap had with Simon for the rest of his life. The first was a last minute decision after tearing himself up over it for a week. A wedding invitation sent to Simon, an out of place joy in a cliche font inviting the man and a plus one. It was almost thrown out and burned at least ten times, but those old feelings left claw marks that clung to his heart. Scar tissue beating memories mercilessly alongside the newfound love he had for life. He was fine, most of the time.

Simon had cleaned himself up well, appearing almost sane and well despite his figure spending most of the time hunched in the corner. Nobody except Soap really noticed, but he was really only there for Johnny so it didn’t matter. Not to Simon. 

The second invitation was one from Simon to Johnny. One that he had been planning for a long time, too long. A funeral invitation, left in the meager will of a once steadfast soldier. The only thing that came out of Johnny for a long time was begging and screaming. Silence was the only thing heard at the funeral, broken only by the soft rain mourning alongside the worms of the ground. 

A blood red poppy appears over the grave of Simon Riley month. A remembrance of sorts for what once was, and what will never be again. They both kept their promises in the end. 

#ao3 #cod fic #cod mw2 #fanfic #mw2 141 #cod 141 #mw2 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #cod mw3 #angst #soap x ghost #141 #cod #john soap mctavish #simon riley #ghost mw2 #john soap mctavish x simon ghost riley

[wisdomssdaughterr]

GOOD RIDDANCE BY GRACIE ABRAMS

best : nancy

And I destroyed every silver linin' you had in your head || All of your feelings, I played with them || Go ahead, we can just call it conditionin' || We were too different, you were so sensitive || Gave me the best of that, I was so negligent || Now, I feel terrible 'bout how I handled it || And now, I, now I bet you resent || All of me, all of it, angry, blocking me over the internet || Promise I don't forget all of my fault in this || 'Cause look at me, I'm alone, sitting here, stayin' home || All of my self control kinda got difficult || But I deserve it though, I deserve it though

I know it won’t work : max

I'll open up || And thinkin' everythin' you wish I wasn't || The call was tough || But you're better off, I'm bein' honest || So, won't you stop || Holdin' out for me when I don't want it? || Just brush me off || 'Cause I'm your ghost right now, your house is haunted

I should hate you : will

I should hate you, I feel stupid || Like I almost crashed my car || Drivin' home to talk about you || At my table in the dark || All I ever think about is || Where the hell you even are || And I swear to God I'd kill you || If I loved you less hard

will you cry? : lucas

Now, you walk through me with my heart heavy || Breakin' my reverie, I could die early || With your arms 'round me, habits go slowly || Would it not kill to say goodbye? || When you talk, you get shallow || Where I'll walk, you don't follow || When I scream, you're my echo || Will you cry if I let go? || Pieces broken || All we left unspoken || Aimless, hopin' || Left my mouth wide open || It's kind of funny when it goes from all to nothin' || You have to laugh before you start to cry || 'Cause now I stop myself from holdin' onto somethin' || That makes me feel a little less alive

amelie : el & max

I met a girl once || She sorta ripped me open || She doesn't even know it || She doesn't know my name || We sat on the sofa || She asked me a million questions || I answered and by eleven || Memorized her face … || Tell me more, I would give all my time || All your words felt like a nursery rhyme || Comfortable, handin' you my whole life || When all of your words felt like a funeral rite

difficult : mike

Oh, I know || Spiralin' is miserable || I should probably go back home || Why does that feel difficult, difficult? || And oh, I hope || I wake up invisible || I'd be someone no one knows || I guess I'm just difficult, difficult || Oh, I know

this is what the drugs are for : will

In the middle of the night || I got caught inside a fever || I almost called a hundred times || Just to ask if you might leave her || She appears in dreams || Chasin' after me || Look, now I'm alone again || I've gotten used to sleepin' here without you || Though I've tried, I can't pretend || That I don't sit around and think about you || Look how I just lost a friend || I'm burying your things inside my bedroom || Old distractions, in the end, don't work || I'm left to sit and think about you || Like all I ever do is think about you

the blue : jonathan

I wonder if you know || If you can tell I'm losin' || I'm going down without a fight || I don't know how you do it || You say we share a brain || Apologizing for it || But take it as a compliment || You make me really nervous … || You came out of the blue like that || I never could've seen you comin' || I think you're everythin' I've wanted

right now : el

I'm so high, but can't look down || Left my past life on the ground || Think I'm more alive somehow || I feel like myself right now || I'm so tired, but can't sit down || What if this is it for now? || Think I'm more alive somehow || I feel like myself right now

#stranger things #stranger things moodboard #el hopper #will byers #mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #max mayfield #jonathan byers #lucas sinclair #gracie abrams #good riddance #st moodboard collection

[bullet-prooflove]

Donna’s Wednesday Radio Show Prompt List #22

It’s that time again! The Wednesday Radio prompt list!

Please check the updated character list on my pinned post to see who I am writing for before submitting a prompt!

Also do not forget to put the entire prompt into your ask!

I run from the liars,

Room sixteen, Smells like danger

Drank the whole bottle, forgot my name

With broken words I've tried to say "Honey don't you be afraid”

Fading by degrees, I was shaking in the knees

Been lookin' for you in all the wrong places

Woke me up right after two Stayed awake and stared at you

Is she dead, is she fine? Every day, every night

You don't have to sell your body to the night

Got a million numbers And they're filling up your phone, boy

Every night I saw you there In your old wicker chair,

And if you only die once, I wanna die with You

I don't like them innocent

Lately I've been dressing for revenge

I loved you since I knew you

And I had the week that came from hell And yes I know that you could tell

Give me your heart, make it real, or else forget about it

Fuck all your pride 

Don't hate me, cause I'm just that good

The sass on your screen, I feel so complete

Why don't you try? Do a little slow dance 'Cause life goes way too fast

Want them wearing leather

the fuel on the fire

I know I can't fight the sad days and bad nights

In the aftermath of this broken glass

You drove me wild, drove me insane

Tried to help, it only hurt In the end I made it worse,

I won't share you with another boy

You don't have to wear that dress tonight

Last night I think I drank too much

Girl, I'm not afraid in runnin' away tonight,

I've got to hand it to you now You're a hard one to please

She left, she left, the writing's on the wall

Take back those clothes you always left on the floor

I don't start it but I can tell you how it ends

'Cause you're beautiful and smart, fuckin' talented

For once in my life I'll take a ride on the wild side

You hear my rhythm on your radio

I like the sad eyes, bad guys

I'd be breakin' every rule I ever made,

Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him

Begging, let me be your taste test

But I never asked for your help

What a nightmare it must be Just being you

Out there on my own, I was feeling so alone

She needed cold hard proof so I gave her some

How blind a girl can be To miss you hide your ring

quick to tell me goodbye

Never sleep alone boy

Don't get sad, get even

Kiss me in the corridor

No, we don't belong together

But I don't need a cure for me

She had the envelope, where you think she got it from?

I don't like the tension, the misapprehensions

While he was doing lines And crossing all of mine

You got nerves, but they never show

I put my heart on the line for you, 

Someone told his white collar crimes to the FBI

All my friends think I'm crazy, maybe I've lost my mind,

And I swear I hate you when you leave

You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them

#bishop losa #nestor oceteva #angel reyes #ez reyes #neron creeper vargas #michael riz ariza #hank loza #bottles mayans #marcus alvarez #les packer #chibs telford #tig trager #herman kozik #jimmy lanik #sam abrams #crockett marcel #connor rhodes #will halstead #nero padilla #joe velasco #mike duarte #terry bruno #cyrus lupo #bobby goren #frank castle #roy kent #benny miller #frankie morales #santiago pope garcia #horacio carrillo