#Book of Jeremiah 18 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eddiemunsons80sbaby · 1 month

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Never Say Never

Chapter 15

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 8.5K

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Far later than she’d expected, you pulled into the driveway of your home. Dinner and coffee had turned into a stroll down the street to the local bar, The Stumble Inn, where the owner, Dan, loved a good play on words. A couple drinks, a lot of conversation, and quite a bit of laughter later, you'd all finally said your good nights, all of you heading off to your own vehicles for home.

The boys were probably already asleep considering it was pushing eleven. That was alright. The four of you were planning on a bike ride tomorrow afternoon so if Steve wanted, he could always just leave Jeremiah there. No point in waking the kid to drag him home simply to bring him back again.

Opening the front door, you stepped inside to find Steve on the couch, a rerun of Who’s the Boss playing on the tv. He turned to look over at you, his arms propped behind his head, giving you one of those glaringly bright smiles that made you feel like you needed to shield yourself, to bring a hand to your eyes to protect them.

“Hey.”

Dropping your purse on the table by the door, you made your way into the living room, smiling down at him. “Hey. Sorry I’m so late. We completely lost track of time.”

“That’s alright. I was expecting it. I told you that you were going to be later than you thought. Robin and Nancy love to talk. And with you being all shiny and new, they had endless things to ask you, I’m sure.”

Steve pushed himself up to sitting with his legs still out in front of him, opening his arms to you. You happily accepted his invite, your body liquefying into him when his arms came around you, pulling you into the warmth of his chest. Sighing contentedly, you wound your arms around his waist curling your legs underneath you, relieved that the awkwardness of earlier appeared to be forgotten.

“They should get jobs as interrogators. They definitely threw the book at me. I don’t know if there’s anything they don’t know about me at this point,” you joked, “including the unfortunately mortifying third grade talent show story.”

“Ohh, do tell. I’m intrigued now.”

“No. That one is better left unshared. Trust me. I don’t know why I even told them. I think your friends have some kind of superpower. I was running off at the mouth, story after story. I couldn’t seem to make myself stop. To be fair, they were shooting questions at me so fast I barely had time to stop and think. I’m stuck being friends with them forever now, you know. They have far too much dirt on me. Way too much they could blackmail me for. I fear I’ve made a grave mistake.”

Steve’s laugh rumbled beneath you, his fingers slipping into your hair, thumb pressing into your skin as it slid over the back of your neck. Your eyes slipped closed, your body practically humming under his touch. His other hand moved under your chin, lifting your face to his and a soft moan escaped you when his lips found yours, gently, tenderly.

You would never tire of his mouth, his touch, the way it set you aflame every single time. You wanted him in a way that was borderline dangerous. The way you wanted him was all consuming, like a fire raging through a forest, turning everything to ash in its wake. If it weren’t for the boys, you were certain you would lose your job because you would do nothing but spend hours in bed with this man.

But there were the boys to consider. It was hard to concentrate on that fact when Steve’s tongue was exploring your throat, his hand slipping under your shirt. Fingertips made rough from working with his hands teased your skin, his palms covering your breasts completely, kneading and squeezing until you were grinding helplessly against his thigh, gasping. But that little voice in the back of your head reminded you, brought you back to reality, the reality where you did not want either of your sons to walk in on this very blatant display in the middle of the living room.

“Steve…” you rasped, struggling through the haze of desire when his lips latched onto your throat, open mouthed kisses creating a path of destruction, obliterating everything that wasn’t him.

“Hmm?” he mumbled against your skin, rolling your nipples with his thumb and forefinger, the jolt of pleasure shooting straight to your core.

“We can’t.” It was a whimper, a whine because you didn’t want this to stop. You didn’t want to be the responsible mom right now. You wanted to take this man straight up to your bed, caution be damned. But you couldn’t. You knew you couldn’t. You couldn’t have him staying over, couldn’t have Eli knowing the two of you had shared a bed, not until you were certain this was something that was going to last. You couldn’t put your son through that kind of heartbreak, not after everything he’d already lost.

“Why not?” Now his hands were creeping up your skirt, each one gripping an ample amount of your ass, pressing your center right against the delicious friction of his firm thigh.

“The boys…we can’t…the boys…”

Fuck. It was so hard to form a thought, to fight through the pleasure coursing through your very veins. His mouth teasing your earlobe, the delicious pulsing in your pussy with every press of his leg against you. You felt like a teenager. What the hell was happening to you? Were you seriously about to come just from dry humping a guy’s leg?

“But we can,” he growled, hands gripping your hips, flipping you over so your back was pressed against his chest. “Did I forget to mention they’re not here?”

“Wha…huh?” His hands slid along the insides of your thighs, pressing them open as they went. “Where are they?”

“Well, Jonathan showed up a few hours ago,” he explained, fingers slipping along the edge of your panties. “He said that Nancy had instructed him to come and get them. Repayment for me being so kind to watch them so you could go out with the girls.” One finger slid under the material, slipping through your already damp folds to toy with your clit. “They’re keeping them for the whole night so we can have some time alone. Isn’t that nice?”

“I…oh…uh-huh…”

Your head rolled back against his shoulder, that rubber band that was already stretched so thin within you stretching even more, threatening to snap at any moment as he circled, pinched, and slid over the very center of your pleasure. A rumble fell from Steve’s lips, his nose slipping over your jaw and down your neck. You were not going to last long. Not like this, not when you were already on the brink of destruction.

“Come on beautiful,” he urged, his thumb taking over the work on your clit as he slipped one large finger inside of you. “Say my name for me. You know how much I love it when you say my name for me.”

“Steve…” The word came out choked, one simple syllable that threatened to strangle you as your muscles tensed under his touch, your body ready to shatter completely.

“That’s my girl…wanna hear you screaming it, baby. No need to be quiet tonight.”

Oh shit. Those words…his girl, words you didn’t even know you wanted but you did. You wanted to make him say it again. You wanted to be his girl more than you'd ever wanted anything else at this moment. Everything in your world completely disappeared, shadowed by this man and the way he made you feel.

He got what he wanted. Because as he slid a second finger inside of you, his thumb playing you like the most beautiful song ever written, his name fell from your lips over and over. A crescendo of sound that began as a gasp and rose to a scream when that band finally snapped, your body taut, shaking, before collapsing back into him in a puddle of satisfaction.

“Jesus Christ, Steve…” you mumbled. “How are you so goddamn good…no, scratch that. I don’t want to know.”

He chuckled, arms wrapping around you, face nuzzling your hair, “Don’t worry, gorgeous, because nobody that came before you matters. They were all just practice leading up to the main attraction.” He nipped at your earlobe. “I’ve never wanted to make a girl come over and over again like I do you. The sounds you make, how beautiful you look, the way you say my name, it’s like a goddamn drug, honey. I’m completely hooked on you.”

Turning your body, you straddled him, feeling just how much he was hooked on you pressing into you. The thin fabric of his sweats and the lace of your panties was not creating much of a barrier and you fought back the urge to yank them off him and ride him right here on the couch. But not yet. There was something else you'd been wanting to do first, something that had been on your mind ever since your first encounter in her kitchen.

“Well, if I’m a drug then so are you, Steve Harrington, because I am completely addicted to you.”

“Oh yeah?” His hands settled on your hips, a smirk on his lips. “Is this the part where you fulfill my fantasy? You’re already in the perfect position.” He bucked his hips up and you gasped, hands dropping to his chest.

“Oh, I have every intention of fulfilling that fantasy but not just yet." Leaning forward, you caught his mouth with your own, your tongue gliding over his bottom lip teasingly. Your hands slid under the cotton fabric of his shirt, nails scratching gently down his chest, over his stomach. That little knot wound up within you again at the feel of that coarse hair against your fingers, tapering to a line leading you right where she wanted. Gripping the hem of his shirt, you tugged it over his head, tossing it across the room where it landed on a chair.

Steve’s lower lip jutted out playfully, “This doesn’t seem fair. You still have a top on.” Acquiescing to his request, you pulled your top off, sending it the same way as his. His hands slid up your back, fingers popping open your bra expertly, slingshotting it. “Much better.” One hand gripping you between the shoulder blades, he sat up, his mouth descending on your breasts.

“Yes…” you sighed, cradling his head against you, your hips rocking against his length once again.

“You’re so damn beautiful…”

You smiled, pushing him back down on the couch, wiggling your body down. It was your turn to drive him crazy. Your lips moved over his jaw, down his neck, your tongue tracing a trail over the artery there before your teeth nipped at his shoulder. He grunted, hips bucking when you kept going on your journey south, mouth exploring his chest, teeth raking over his nipples. Hot, wet kisses over his stomach while your hands gathered the material of his sweats and boxers, dragging them over his thighs until his cock was free, bouncing back against his stomach.

Your tongue ran over your lips as you settled onto your stomach between his legs. Steve’s eyes went wide, watching when you took his cock in your hand, dragging the tip of it across your lips. As your tongue darted across the already weeping slit, he hissed, head dropping back to the arm of the sofa.

“Jesus Christ, honey.”

Bolstered by his reaction, you used your hand to raise him up, your tongue running along the vein underneath, from the base to the tip before taking him into your mouth, swirling your tongue teasingly. With a heavy grunt, his hips rose from the couch in an attempt to get more of himself in your mouth.

Grinning around him, you continued your slow torture, only keeping the tip of him in the warmth of your mouth as one hand moved down to cradle his heavy sack, rolling his balls in your palm.

“Fuck…oh my god…honey, please…need more…”

His hands fisted at his sides and deciding you'd tormented him enough, you took the rest of him, as much as you could, working the base of him with your hand as you slowly worked the rest of him with your mouth. The sounds he was making, the animalist grunts and groans, the curses falling from his lips, were goddamn intoxicating. You'd never felt so powerful in your life as you did knowing you could reduce this beautiful man to a mewling mess with just your mouth and hands.

Steve’s fingers slid in your hair, his palms cupping the back of your head as he lifted his hips to match the rhythm of your mouth. You relaxed your throat, gagging slightly as he thrust even further into your throat. He paused, as if uncertain if what he’d done was okay, but when you dug your nails into the flesh of his thigh, lowering your mouth over him again, he took the hint, thrusting once again until your nose was nuzzling the coarse hair at the base of him.

“Shit…honey, I’m…fuck, I’m so close…fuck, stop…I…don’t wanna…not in your mouth…”

Releasing him with an audible pop, you rose to your feet, offering him your hand. He tilted his head in confusion, the look so adorable your heart tugged. How could one man be both the sexiest thing you'd ever seen and the most adorable thing you'd ever laid eyes on at the same time?

“If I’m going to ride you, let’s do it properly…in my bed.”

“Oh…yeah, okay…”

He scrambled, pulling his pants back up as he took your hand, following your lead up the stairs. You'd barely made it into the room when you slammed your hands into his chest firmly, sending him onto his back on the bed. Wasting no time, you slipped your underwear and skirt off before dragging his sweats and boxers down off his legs and onto your floor.

The smile he gave you was so soft, so heart melting, his hands gently cupping your face when you crawled up his body, straddling his hips. He opened his mouth and your heart stuttered in your chest, terrified but also thrilled at what might come out. But just that fast he closed it again, pressing his eyes shut tight.

Brushing away that hope that had flared and dwindled so quickly, you gripped him in your hand, slowly lowering herself down over him. Your warmth wrapped around him like a glove, welcoming him as if he belonged there. You sucked in air, your fingers slipping through the hair on his chest, your teeth biting down on your lower lip.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Steve growled as you rocked against him, his fingertips digging into the flesh of your hips as he met each movement.

“Steve…Steve…Jesus Christ, Steve…”

“You look just as beautiful as I knew you would. Come on, honey. Take what you need. You can have whatever you want. Give you whatever you want, honey.”

“Touch me,” you gasped, whimpering when his thumb found your clit, teasing as you pressed your hands into the mattress, arching your back, your muscles clenching as you came down on his cock again and again. “Yes. Right there. Oh god…so good…”

Your hips rolled into a circle and he grunted, “Yes, baby. Keep doing that. Shit.” His other hand came to your breast, squeezing, pinching, teasing, touching you just like you wanted and you moaned his name again. “Gonna come for me, beautiful?”

“Yes…so close…don’t stop…”

“Oh, I won’t, honey. Don’t worry. Look at me, beautiful. Wanna see you.”

You struggled, working to keep pace as you pulled yourself straight, your hands gripping his shoulders for purchase. Opening your eyes, you looked down, that band in you stretching farther than should be possible as the heat in his gaze consumed you. His name ripped from your throat, so loudly you were sure the people in the next town could hear.

Your body turned to goo, wax from a hot candle sliding down the edges of you to pool on the mattress around you. You had nothing left, your legs shaking and Steve knew, taking over for you. His hands grabbed onto your hips as he plunged himself up and into you before holding her down against him, a roar emitted through gritted teeth, painting your insides with his own release before bringing you with him as you both collapsed.

Your cheek pressed against his sweat-slicked chest, the hair there tickling your skin softly. His fingers trailed over your back, your bodies heaving as you both struggled to catch your breath.

“Holy shit…” he muttered. “So much better than I imagined.”

“Yeah…I…Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t think I can walk.”

His rumbling laugh shook your bodies as his arms held you, rolling you so you were side by side, your body still cradled against his. His lips pressed against your forehead.

“Good thing you don’t have to. Honey, you’re so damn amazing. I…this…” He paused, his throat moving with a hard swallow, as if he were forcing down words he didn’t want to say to leave his mouth, banishing them to the darkness where they couldn’t see the light of day.

“Yeah?” you pressed hopefully, tilting your head back to look at him, wishing for him to say it. To say the words that had been torturing you for the last few hours, the words you were terrified to say until he did.

“I’m just so damn happy. I have never been this happy with anyone. I…” He stopped, eyes squeezing shut. “I like you a lot.”

Your heart squeezed tightly. No, of course he wasn’t going to say those words. Hadn’t you just thought how crazy it would be to say them so soon? Of course he wasn’t feeling any of that already.

“I like you a lot too.” You forced a smile, not wanting him to see the disappointment on your face as you nuzzled down into him, the top of your head tucked under his chin.

___________________________________________________________

Steve blinked against the harsh sunlight coming in through the window, one hand covering his eyes to ward off the glare. Last night came back to him in a burst of images that raced over the backs of his eyelids. The warmth of your mouth, the sight of you above him, your hair falling down your back, the gentle smile that curved your lips up on each side as you fell asleep nestled against his chest, your fingers toying with the coarse hair there as you hummed contentedly.

Rolling his head, he looked down to find you still there but at some point in the night you'd both moved. Now your back was nestled against him, your ass pressed deliciously against him, explaining why he’d woken up with an erection. Winding his arms around you tightly, his lips explored the curve of your shoulder, the hollow of your throat, delighted when you moaned softly, wiggling in his grasp.

“Good morning.” Your voice was husky, deep and raspy, choked with sleep first thing in the morning, just one more thing that Steve couldn’t help but enjoy about you. He would never tire of discovering new things about you. Each new thing only made him…

Love…that word was beginning to be a thorn in his side. The amount of times he’d had to bite his lip last night to keep from saying it was going to leave a bruise. The more time he spent with you, the more time he spent inside you, was making it harder and harder not to scream it out, consequences be damned.

“Good morning.” His nose nuzzled into your neck, lips tracing a line, following it over your shoulder. “I swear, this is the best damn thing to wake up to. You are the best damn thing to wake up to. So much better than a slobbery dog demanding breakfast.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” His fingers skimmed over your soft belly to the curve of your hip, squeezing the ample flesh there. “I could really get used to this, honey. You in my bed…”

“Well, technically this is my bed,” you teased, sighing when his hand dipped into the apex between your thighs.

“My bed, your bed…I really don’t care as long as I get to have you in a bed,” he growled, his lips wrapping around the skin at the hollow of your throat, sucking hard until you moaned deeply. “Jesus, I love the sounds you make. Wanna make you make them all the time.”

“Steve,” you protested, no real challenge in your voice. “Don’t we have to go get the boys?”

“We could push it just a bit.” Using his arm to push himself up, he pressed you onto your back into the mattress. Wiggling his eyebrows, he grinned. “I think Nance and Jonathan would understand if we waited just a couple more hours.”

“A couple hours, huh? You have big plans?”

“Oh honey, a couple hours is not nearly enough time for the plans I have for you.”

How about forever? It was on the tip of his tongue but he just couldn’t say it. He couldn’t risk it, not now, not when he was in so deep that he was drowning in you.

___________________________________________________________

An hour later, clad in only his boxer shorts, Steve was in the kitchen cooking eggs and toast while you took a shower. Unfortunately, human weakness reared its head and other biological needs needed to be met. They had made it known when your stomach had started loudly rumbling while he was buried deep inside you while he pinned your wrists down with his hands.

As much as he hadn’t wanted to pull himself away, he’d begrudgingly done so. The girl needed to eat. While he wanted nothing more than to lock the two of you in that room for the rest of the day, you were going to need your energy for the bike ride he had planned for everybody this afternoon. He couldn’t have you passing out on your bike from low blood sugar.

He slid the spatula under the perfectly cooked over-easy eggs, sliding them onto a plate. Grabbing the two pieces of toast that had just popped up, he added them and set the plate on the table. He added the butter, salt, and pepper and was just going to pour your coffee when there was a knock at the front door.

“Well shit,” muttered Steve, glancing down at his very bare chest. Grabbing his shirt from the chair in the living room where it had been tossed last night, he hastily pulled it over his head, figuring it would have to do if he wasn’t going to leave whoever was on the other side wondering if anyone was home.

Opening the door, he found a woman on the other side. Her blue eyes went wide as she took in the sight of him in the doorway, her hand running over her sleek gray bob. The flowy black pants and floral buttoned top she was wearing seemed like a strange choice for a Saturday, leaving him with the impression that she was a professional of some kind. But you hadn’t mentioned anyone dropping by.

“Hello,” he smiled pleasantly. “Can I help you?”

“I highly doubt it.” Her words were sharper than seemed necessary considering Steve had never seen this woman before in his life. “Is my daughter-in-law around?”

Shit. So that’s who this was. Justin’s mom and Steve had just answered the door wearing nothing but boxers and a t-shirt on a Saturday morning. That didn’t leave much doubt to what kind of situation this was and he wasn’t sure if this woman even knew about him. Had you told her about him? Or was she being blindsided, having the new guy that had replaced her dead son shoved in her face?

“You must be Mrs. Randall. I…uh…I’m Steve Harrington. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He stammered the words. He would have offered her his hand but his palms were suddenly very sweaty. How did one handle a situation like this?

“Oh, I know exactly who you are. Although why you’re standing in my son’s house in your underwear is quite a mystery to me.”

A nervous laugh rose up in him at her words, her eyes narrowing, head tilted as she studied him. He felt like a specimen under a microscope and judging from the way she was looking at him, he was not measuring up.

“Well, you see…I…well, Y/N and I…I’m guessing she hasn’t told you about me.”

“No. She didn’t but my grandson did. Imagine my surprise when I had to hear from a child that his mother has a new boyfriend.” She gave him a tight smile, the kind people usually displayed when they were trying to hide how they really felt, but this woman did not seem to be trying to hide anything. Disdain was rolling off her in waves so strongly it threatened to knock him off his feet. “You really think it’s appropriate for you to be spending the night this soon? Have you even bothered to consider Eli’s feelings in the matter? How it might make him feel that some man is sleeping in the bed that his mother and father used to share? That doesn’t seem a bit tacky to you?”

Steve opened his mouth, having no idea how he was going to respond but feeling like he needed to. The pressure of a thousand stares, like being on stage waiting to see if you’d nail it or fall flat on your face, was heavy on his chest. But he was saved when you came bouncing down the stairs.

“Something smells good. Did you cook break…” You came to an abrupt stop, hands gripping the towel you'd been drying your hair with when you saw the scene in front of you. Steve in his boxers, looking like a mouse staring down a cat. Judith, the cat, glaring at you both, with her hands on her hips, claws and teeth ready to slash and shred. “Judith…what are you doing here?”

“Well, after Eli dropped that particular very unpleasant and shocking bomb on me yesterday and you refused to talk to me, I decided we needed to have a conversation about this current situation.”

“You could have just called…” you began but Judith quickly cut you off.

“And what? Have you ignore my calls like you so often do? I don’t think so.” Judith stepped around Steve with a wave as if he were nothing but an annoying gnat she was wishing to swat. “No. I think not. I demand an explanation. I believe I am owed that. Precisely why did my grandson tell me that this man, who I don’t even know, who he barely even knows, is going to be his father soon?”

“Shit…” muttered Steve, earning a harsh glare from the woman that reminded him way too much of Mrs. Click from high school. He melted back against the wall, trying to make himself small and invisible to her unapproving gaze.

So this was why she came. She felt her son’s very memory was threatened by the presence of Steve. She thought that you and him were moving too fast. Of course she did if Eli was already talking about Steve being his dad. But it was just that, talk. The kid had been hoping for it before they’d even started dating.

“Mrs. Randall, I think this has just been a really big misunderstanding.”

“Well, I was rather hoping so until I showed up to find you here in your underwear, clearly having spent the night. I mean, really.” She sighed, tossing her arms in the air. “You find this kind of behavior appropriate with a child in the house?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Eli isn’t in the house,” you snapped.

“And where exactly is he?”

“He’s with my ex-wife and her husband,” Steve answered, folding his arms, his confidence returning now that he saw you weren't going to quaver under the glare of this lady.

“Strangers!” shrieked Judith. “You left my grandson with complete strangers?”

“They’re not strangers. I told you, Eli is best friends with Steve’s son, Jeremiah. I know Jeremiah’s mom and her husband. In fact, I was just out with her and some other women last night.”

“Oh! And where was my grandson while you were out living it up and having fun like some teenager with no responsibilities?”

“He was with me. I took care of the boys so she could actually enjoy a night off.” Steve’s sympathy for this woman was quickly waning each time she opened her mouth. “I made them dinner and we played some games and watched a movie. Then Jonathan showed up and offered to take the boys overnight so she and I could have some time alone. I have never slept over when he’s been here.”

“Really? Because according to Eli, you and his mother had a sleepover just last week.”

Your teeth clenched together. “The boys were having a sleepover. We were watching a movie and fell asleep on the couch. Nothing happened.” Your eyes caught Steve’s, the two of you clearly remembering what did happen, what almost happened before you were interrupted, but it was none of this woman’s business. “And whatever happened or didn’t happen isn’t really any of your concern. Eli is my son.”

“He’s my grandson! None of my concern? It’s none of my concern that you’re acting like some rampant whore around him? That you’re just choosing to leave him with strange people so you can run around with your friends and have a good time like you don’t even have a child?”

“Whoa! Hey!” Steve stepped into her, finger pointing at her face. “You have no right to come in here calling her names like that. She is a damn good mom. She’s done all of this herself for a long time and if occasionally she needs a night to herself, she’s more than earned it.”

If someone could actually explode, he was pretty certain this woman would be doing just that right now. Her nostrils flared, eyes blazing, mouth contorted into an ugly sneer as she stared him down.

“Just who in the hell do you think you are?”

“I think I’m her boyfriend. I think I’m her person. The person she’s chosen to have in her life right now. And I think I’m the person who’s not going to stand here and let you talk to her like this. I understand that it has to be hard for you to see her with someone else, to think about another guy being in your grandson’s life. But that’s not a choice you get to make. It’s hers. So unless you’re willing to have a civil conversation and listen then there’s the goddamn door.”

“I tried to help you. I offered to let you and Eli move in with me and you refused and now look at this mess you’ve created.”

“This isn’t a mess. This is my life.”

“And some life it is. I knew when Justin brought you home that he was making a mistake. You whispered all those lies about how much you loved him. I knew you never did.”

Your mouth dropped, a small gasp of pain escaping your lips, making Steve want to smack a woman for the first time in his life. Tears filled your eyes but you straightened your spine, refusing to allow Judith to make you fall apart.

“That was never a lie, Judith. I did love Justin. I still do.”

“You loved him so much that you’re so ready to just replace him and move on. To allow some other man in his house, in his bed, in his role as Eli’s father.”

“There has not been any talk of Steve being Eli’s father,” you argued. “We are dating. There’s not even been talk of moving in together. All of that is coming from Eli. He adores Steve and he’s a kid and he just wants what other kids have. Can’t you see that?”

“He already has a father,” Judith whimpered, quickly losing steam as her grief began to take the wheel from her anger.

“He does and I will never let him forget Justin. We talk about him every night before he goes to bed. I show him pictures and videos. I tell him stories. We order pizza every Friday because it’s what we used to do when Justin was home.” Those tears that had been lingering on your lash line now broke free, spilling down your cheeks as you held your hands out in front of you, begging Judith to understand. “We go to the apple orchard and the pumpkin farm every fall because it was a tradition we started with him. I show him his favorite movies and we listen to his favorite music. Eli knows all the words to The Most Beautiful Girl in the World by Prince and he knows how Justin used to sing it to me every time he’d return from deployment and we’d dance around the living room. Judith, Eli will never forget Justin because I can’t ever forget Justin. You think I don’t grieve for him still? Sometimes it hits me and the pain is so bad that I double over with it. But am I really sentenced to spend the rest of my life alone at thirty-two because the universe was cruel enough to take my happy ending away from me?”

Judith actually looked stunned. In the ten minutes Steve had known her, even he was shocked to find her speechless. This did not seem like a woman who ran out of words.

Then the two women were hugging and crying. He stood to the side, unsure of what to do. He had the equivalent of emotional whiplash. He’d been so angry, ready to storm the castle and defend you to the death if need be, and now it didn’t seem necessary. You clung to each other, sobs shaking your bodies.

“I’m sorry,” Judith sniffed, shaking her head, hands wrapped around your shoulders. “I’m sorry. I just…it’s so unfair that he got taken from us and then to know you’re with…” She jerked her head toward Steve. Well, alright. She might be apologizing but apparently she still wasn’t fond of him. “To know Eli may see someone else as his…I just couldn’t bear it. I fear I will be the only one to remember my son.”

“You won’t.” Your hands found Judith’s forearms, hanging on. “I could never forget him and I will never let Eli forget him. I promise you that. We…we don’t even know what this is yet.” Steve would be lying if he said that didn’t sting just a bit. “It’s so new. Who knows where it’s going but if it moves in that direction, Eli will still know who his dad is. And no matter what happens, you will always be his grandmother and you will always have a place in his life.”

Judith nodded slowly, her fist coming to her mouth. The woman appeared to at least be trying to accept it. Steve wasn’t sure what the history was here. He didn’t know what kind of relationship she and you had in the past but he hoped, if for nothing else than the sake of Eli, that she could.

“Can I…would it be okay if I came into town for his first game?”

“Of course. Eli would love it if you were there.”

Steve wasn’t sure he would. He wasn’t sure he wanted to spend any more time with this woman ever. But this wasn’t his decision. He knew when he started this thing that you came with some baggage. And if the heaviest load was some uptight ex mother-in-law, well, he’d just have to learn to heft it if he planned on sticking around.

“Okay. Well, then…I guess I’ll just go. It’s a long drive back. But maybe I could go pick him up and…”

You cut her off, “Steve and I are picking up the boys and taking them on a bike ride. They’ve been looking forward to it all week. So today isn’t a good day. If you would have called first I could have told you that. I could have told you all of this and saved you the drive.”

“Right. Next time I’ll call as long as you plan on answering.”

“I will answer as long as I’m not busy.”

Judith’s mouth pinched up again, the crying camaraderie apparently forgotten now. Wiping away any sign of weakness or vulnerability with her fingers under her eyes, she straightened her spine and turned for the door. It was disorienting how quickly she looked like she hadn’t just been falling apart, completely reserved once again.

“I will see you in a couple weeks then.”

“See you in a couple weeks.”

And then she was gone. You exhaled, your shoulders and head dropping forward, as if all the strength you'd held in to handle Judith had rushed from you in one breath. Your arms wrapped around your middle, reminding him of Eli after school just yesterday.

Steve stood still, unsure of what to do. Did you want him to comfort you? Did you want him to leave you alone? Should he offer to just head and get the boys and come back for you later so you could have some time to process everything that had just happened?

“I’m sorry.” The words were spoken so softly he almost didn’t catch them. “She loves to sneak up on me at the worst times. I should have seen this coming. She’s been itching to have it out with me ever since Eli told her you were my boyfriend.”

“It’s okay,” he mumbled, shrugging. It wasn’t, not really. He wasn’t sure how he felt after that whole exchange. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” you stated firmly. “I really don’t. Not right now anyway. Can we just eat?” Lifting your head, you pasted on a smile. “That coffee smells amazing and I could really use some right now.”

“Oh…uh…yeah…”

You breezed past him into the kitchen, leaving him standing there wondering what in the hell had just happened and what it meant that you didn’t know what this was between you.

____________________________________________________________

The boys were down on the sand, building a fortress from rocks and driftwood that they collected for their superheroes. It was still far too cold to even consider stepping foot in the water. The day was warm, the sun beating pleasantly down on their skin, but it would take months for the lake to absorb that heat, usually not pleasant enough for a swim until late June or even early July.

You sat on the blanket you'd brought with you to sit on while you enjoyed the picnic lunch that Steve had packed. Sandwich crusts, chip crumbs, and stray blueberries laid forgotten on plates as the boys declared themselves full in favor of running off to play. You took a sip of her iced tea, glancing over at Steve.

After Judith’s impromptu interruption, ruining what otherwise had been an absolutely perfect night and morning, he’d been rather quiet and awkward. He didn’t appear mad but disoriented, like a child who’d fallen off their bike after removing the training wheels and feared getting back on because they didn’t trust themselves. It was like he’d lost his footing and couldn’t find it again. And you knew it was your fault.

Judith just had such a negative impact on you and you were so exhausted from constantly trying to convince the woman that you w were doing a good job of raising Eli. Was it easy? No. Did you screw up a lot? Yes. But at the end of the day your son was happy, healthy, and loved. Wasn’t that what mattered? Why could that never be enough? Why did every decision you ever made have to come into question by a woman whose son joined the military just to get away from her?

“Steve…”

“Hmm?” His head turned toward you and you could see how hard he was working to keep an impassive look on his face, to not show how he was truly feeling. What was he feeling? Was he angry? He had every right to be after the way Judith had treated him, after you yourself had dismissed him, telling him you didn’t want to talk.

“About earlier…”

He cut you off, lifting his hand in front of him, “It’s fine. Really. You said you didn’t want to talk about it so you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s not fine.”

“It is. It’s obviously a tough situation for you that I don’t know anything about so…”

“But you should,” you stated firmly. Rising to your knees, you shifted until you were in front of him, taking both of his hands in your own. “You should. If we’re doing this…being an us, then you should know. Judith is difficult but she is a part of my life and she isn’t going anywhere. She’s Eli’s grandmother and that means that you’re going to have to deal with her sometimes so you should know our history. You should know exactly what you’re walking into.”

“But we don’t even know what this is, right? Isn’t that what you said? We’re not that serious so why do I need to know anything important about you?”

Ouch. His words hit their mark, exactly as he’d meant them to based on the tone he’d used. A missile he’d launched, his own hurt weaponized and aimed directly for you, successfully obliterating its target. You dropped down onto your heels as he pulled his hands back from you. His hand came to the back of his neck, rubbing, as if he could wipe away the tension that had appeared between them.

“Shit. Honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“Yes you did.”

“No. I didn’t.” His cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk with a frustrated exhale. “I want to know everything about you. I do. I want to know it all, the good, the bad, and everything in between. I just…when you said that…”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Is that how you feel? That you don’t know what we are? I mean, I guess I just need to know what this is. I thought we were on the same page but maybe we’re not. What do you want here, honey? Is this all just fun for you? Is this a casual thing? Are you serious about us or should I be preparing to have my heart stomped all over?”

Those beautiful eyes were begging you for an answer, for the answer he wanted. And he had it. He had all of you. He had every piece of you that you had to offer. But you didn’t know how much to say. He had no idea how completely gone for him you already were, how you dreamed of the future with him, what it would look like, the four of you together.

Your eyes drifted over to the boys, yelling and giggling as Lex Luthor and his henchmen tried to attack the Fortress of Solitude they’d built from whatever they could find on the beach. You could picture this, days, months, years of this…the two of you sitting back and enjoying your boys together. Watching them grow up, birthday parties and Christmases, Steve helping them with their ties for school dances, teaching them how to drive. Nights together watching movies and playing games. You could see it so clearly in your mind but you were terrified that if you shared all that with him he would leave a blazing path through this forest as he ran as far and as fast as he could.

“Honey?” he prompted when you'd been silent for so long.

“What do you want?” you asked, turning the tables on him, placing the ball in his court.

“What?”

“What do you want from this? Do you see this as something that has a future? Do you see us together six months from now? A year from now? Ten years from now? Or in three months will I be just another in a long line of heartbroken exes?”

Steve reared back as if you'd just slapped him across the face. And maybe it had been an insensitive question but you felt it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. Steve had been in numerous relationships throughout his life. Robin had shared that he latched on and fell fast because he was so desperate to be loved. Was that what this was?

You felt like he really liked you, like he truly cared about you. But was it just his past traumas causing him to act like that? Causing him to feel things that weren’t really there yet?

“Do you seriously not know?” he demanded. When you just looked at him, he groaned. “How do you not know how I feel about you? This isn’t even in the ballpark of casual for me. I told you I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for you.”

“But how can you be sure? Robin said…”

“Robin said what? That I love too quickly because of my messed up childhood bullshit? Because my parents didn’t love me enough, I’m always looking for it elsewhere?”

“I mean, she may have said something like that.”

“And she’s not wrong. I have in the past. I stayed with Nancy because I was desperate for a family, a real family. I was desperate to make it work, to be successful where my parents weren’t. But I’m not twenty anymore. I’m thirty-two and I am well aware of my faults. I didn’t even see what I was doing then but I do now. I know every relationship I’ve ever had wasn’t really love. It was…I don’t know. Me just settling, searching for something, anything that would make me feel whole. But I’ve never found it. I’ve never felt it until you. I think you’re what I’ve been searching for. I’ve spent my whole life waiting for someone like you.”

This was the second time he’d said that to you and it didn’t fail to rock you to your very core once again. It shook your very foundation to know that this beautiful, perfect man seemed to think that you were the thing he’d been missing in his life, that you were the missing piece to the puzzle that he’d been hopelessly searching for.

Your eyes roamed over his face, the flecks of gold in his eyes brought out by the sun, the freckles like angel kisses lovingly placed on his skin, those plump lips that girls would pay thousands of dollars to have. That word, that damn word, so simple, four letters, one syllable, was driving its way up your throat, desperate to be spoken.

Your hands slid over his jaw, softly, gently, as if you were holding delicate treasure that must be protected, because you were. His Adam’s apple bobbed, the muscles in his neck tensing, as he waited for you to reply to the truths he’d just laid before you.

“This isn’t casual for me either. I…I know my situation is different. I wasn’t searching all my life. I found…but he’s gone and when I lost Justin, I resigned myself to the fact that he was it. He had been my one shot at happiness and love and all that comes with it. But then here you came and you barreled through all of that doubt like a wrecking ball.” Your eyes slipped closed as you willed yourself to have the courage to jump off the edge, to soar through the air with nothing but hope that he would catch you instead of leaving you to hit the ground. “You snuck up on me and there is nothing just fun or casual about this because I…I love you.”

His eyebrows crept toward his forehead, every color in the spectrum dancing through his eyes that were now as wide as the moon and just as spectacular. You held your breath, your teeth worrying over your bottom lip. But then, as if in slow motion, his lips parted, curving into a slow smile that consumed his entire face, those little crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes. His fingers slid into your hair, pulling you to him, his forehead pressing against yours as he whispered, “You do?”

“I do. I know it’s really soon. I wasn’t even sure I should say it. I realized it yesterday and it terrified me but it also…I don’t know. It just felt right, like something just shifting into the place it belonged all along. I told myself I wasn’t going to say it, that I was going to wait.” Your eyes squeezed shut nervously. “I was going to wait until you said it and I hope it doesn’t scare you. You don’t have to say it back. I don’t want you to say it because you think you have to. I just…I need you to know that I am all in. I am not going anywhere. I have already dove in way too deep. There’s no going back now.”

“I love you, too.”

“Don’t…please don’t say it just because I…”

“I’m not.” His fingers trailed down over your arms, linking his fingers with yours and bringing your interlocked hands to his chest. “I’m not. I’ve been trying not to say it too. I didn’t want to push you. I know this is hard for you. I know this is the first time you’ve been with anybody since your husband passed. I wanted to take things at your pace, follow your lead. I was waiting for you to say it first. But I do. I love you. I think I’ve loved you ever since that night I brought pizza over. And yeah, that’s crazy and it makes no sense because we barely knew each other but it’s true. I love everything I already know about you and I want to spend my life getting to know everything I don’t.”

“You…your life…?”

“Shit. Was that too much? I’m not about to pull out a ring or anything. I’m not asking you to promise the rest of your life to me. I just…I just meant…”

“Steve,” you laughed, pressing your lips against his to silence him. “No. It wasn’t too much. I know what you meant. I mean, we can’t really say we’re all in if we’re not expecting this to last forever, right?”

“Right.” He grinned, releasing your hands to wrap his arms around you and pull you in close. You sat between his legs, your back nestled into his chest, settling into place right where you belonged as the two of you watched your boys run down the sand.

Chapter 16

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tatoda · 2 years

Text

Lovin || conrad fisher x fem!reader

!!MINORS DNI!!

summary: you’re dragged to a party by jeremiah and a boy gets a little close to you and conrad isn’t happy about it.

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT, piv, cow girl, dude doesn’t take a hint, party crowd, conrad being a cutie CHARACTERS ARE 18

wc: 2,200+

hopefully this is okay i was super distracted because i was in LA all week at vidcon and didn’t get much time to write

masterlist

request! @gillybear17

Tonight was supposed to be just you, a book in your hands by the poolside listening to the soft crashing of the waves. But that all ended when Jeremiah threw you over his shoulder and into his jeep to head down to the beach for a bonfire party. No matter how many times you told him he interrupted you in one of the most intense smut scenes you were reading he would just gag and ignore you.

“you’re such an asshole, Jere.” you huffed crossing your arms in the passenger seat as he slid into the driver's side sending you one of his death-giving grins

“I'm just trying to get you” he poked your nose “out of the house.” he backed the car out of the driveway and started down the street

“you interrupted a very intense chapter in my book.” you said looking out the window at the passing trees and waited for the times when the space would open to see the sunset

“y/n, I love you, but maybe you should try getting some instead of reading it.” he chuckled and glanced at you

“Jere?” you turned towards him and his eyebrows raised to let you know he was listening “respectfully, fuck you.”

“I mean we can if you want.” you hit him immediately on the arm and he hissed “damn, maybe save that for the bedroom.”

“Just shut up and drive.” you sunk back into your seat

You always thought about when you were going to find someone that could give you everything you needed in sex. The books always made it seem like some prince charming was going to treat you the best and know everything about your places. Your past boyfriends never made you comfortable enough to do anything with them. You were closest to the Fisher’s boys and the Conklin’s were your siblings. Belly gave you some advice about your situation but nothing too exciting. But this summer was different. You were told you had grown but that was just a pre-breakup beauty. You never tried to go for boys you wanted them to come to you. But this summer, Conrad always had his eyes on you. No matter what went on. But he didn’t talk a lot this summer, he just looked at you.

“and we’re here.” Jeremiah pulled up to a parking spot and you both unbuckled and got out of the car. you followed him saying, “I’ll stay with you.” walking down the beach to the bonfire and noticed many teens drinking and smoking around you, wonderful.

“Jeremiah!” a group of girls yelled and his head never turned faster, he smiled as they waved him over

“i-i will be right back.” he took off and you sighed

“so much for staying with me,” you mutter walking over to a cooler and grabbing water not feeling like drinking tonight, you don’t want to hangout nor the throw up

Slowing making your way towards the smaller fire where no one is you passed by a familiar colored hoodie, Conrad. he was sitting next to a girl with a bright smile on his face as she leaned into him, practically kissing him. He felt a presence as his eyes moved from her to you and his smile dropped, his mouth parted but you walked away before he could say anything. Standing around the flames, a figure walked up to you. You wished it was going to be Conrad but this person was much taller.

“uh, hi. I saw you walk in and I thought you were absolutely hot in that dress.” you cringed at his word choice “I'm Neal.” he put his hand out

“im-“ he stopped you, men.

“y/n, you’re family friends with the Fisher boys.” your eyebrows furrowed

“uh, yeah that’s me.” you questioned. Nothing really caught your attention to this guy so you both stood there awkwardly staring at the fire before he spoke up again a minute later.

“do you want to get out of here?” he moved closer to you. As you looked around for maybe some help and your eyes instantly met Conrad's and he knew something was up

“I don’t think so, I just got here.” you tried to laugh it off but he moved closer to stand in front of you

“I promise it will be worth your time.” you can now smell his beer breath

“I’m okay. it was nice meeting you.” you tried to walk away but he grabbed your arm

“What is wrong with you?” fear spread throughout you

“i-“ you couldn’t finish as the familiar voice rang through the air

“she said no, dick.” Conrad moved you behind him so he could separate you and neal

“damn Conrad you really had to ruin my chances.” neal smirked “she is smoking hot tonight I was thinking about what’s under that dre-“ before he could finish Conrad punched him and Neal fell to the ground groaning

“Get your hands off of my girl.” you paused as the words came out of his mouth, but it didn’t faze Conrad as he turned towards you “I’m taking you home.” not complaining as he took your hand as many eyes watched y’all as you walked across the sand “I need the keys from Jeremiah.” you both walked towards him seeing he was making out with one of the girls from earlier “Jeremiah keys.” Jeremiah didn’t unlatch from the girl and dug into his pocket and tossed the keys to Conrad

The walk to the car was silent, Conrad opened the door for you, muttering a small thank you to him. He started the car but didn’t move it as you both sat in the silence.

“I’m sorry.” he breathed out looking towards you before starting the car not waiting for a response from you and pulled out of the parking lot heading home.

The car made its noises as it went down the road. Conrad would look at you every minute to make sure you were okay. You picked at your fingernails and didn’t look at him but you could see that he was looking at you over and over. The overwhelming feeling of how much he cared for you.

“can you pull over,” you spoke out and Conrad looked at you worriedly and looked around before pulling over and parking the car, you unbuckled your seatbelt and faced him and he did the same.

“thank you.” he sighed feeling the pressure you were going to yell at him “but please don’t get into fights for me.” he chuckled shaking his head “con, what happened back there?”

“what do you mean? you obviously didn’t want him to talk to you anymore. I saw you looking around. I knew you were in trouble.” he looked into your eyes “I know when you need me.” he inched closer looking from your lips and back to your eyes

“I always need you Conrad.” as those words left your mouth he closed the distance between the two of you.

His lips were covered by mint chapstick that he put on recently as the air has been acting up. You moved to scoot up more towards the center console. One of his hands moved to the back of your head and deepened the kiss. You never thought this would happen. You were kissing Conrad fisher. A boy you dreamt about when you were 8 as you both played house together and he kissed you acting as if the both of you were married. Conrad sighed into your mouth and pulled away.

“fuck, steven is going to kill me.” your noses were touching as he looked into your eyes

“I’m older so screw him.” you grabbed his neck and brought him back to your lips. Conrad's hands didn’t know where to go as he was freaking out this was happening. you led away from him “Conrad.”

“sorry I want to make sure you’re okay with where I place my hands.” his cheeks turned pink

“can I help you.” he nodded and you moved his hand to rest on your chest. Conrad froze and held in a breath and he moved the other to your hair again

Your lips connected again and he seemed to get more into it. the hand on your chest moved to massage your breast and you could feel your nipple harden under his touch. You felt that you needed to be closer so you moved away from him and climbed over to his side and on his lap. He was frozen the whole time watching you with awe.

“Conrad.” his eyes connected with yours and you moved some of his messy hair behind his ear

“Yeah?” you could feel the indent in his pants as you shifted on top of him

“Are you okay with this?” you questioned him, making sure this was the right decision between the two of you

“I've only dreamt of this for like, ever.” he bit his lip and you moved your hand to take the lip out of his mouth and leaned back into him. this time y’all were more into it. you reached under his shirt and to the waistband of his shorts and he pulled away softly “here?”

“unless you want to drive all the way home?” he swallowed

“we’re just down the street- I want to make this perfect for us.” you smiled

“Okay, take me home Conrad.” you tried to move back to your seat but he held you there

“Just stay, we’re almost there.” you cuddled into him and put your head in the crook of his neck so he could see the road and quickly put the car in drive and took off “I love the whole public scene but we can do that later.” you hummed into him feeling at home with him this close to you. Conrad let out a chuckle before placing a hand on the small of your back and started rubbing circles

As you pulled up to the house he turned off the car and wrapped your legs around his waist and carefully took you out of the car. The front door was unlocked as the moms were out on a small night walk. Conrad carried you to his room and placed you on his bed. He stood at the end of the bed looking at your beautiful body before slipping off his sweatshirt and shirt leaving him in his shorts. He moved above you and your lips connected again.

“fuck, sorry I really can’t do the foreplay right now. I need you, y/n,” he whispered into your lips

“you have me.” you kissed him again and you both sat up to take off your clothes. he looked at you like you had 3 eyes “you’re beautiful. stay here I need a condom.” he ran off to his bathroom and you took off the rest of your clothing. when he came back into the room and he paused and sighed before smiling at you. “you ready?” you nodded and he slipped off the rest of his clothing and slipped the condom on.

“can i-i um, go on top?” his eyebrows raised

“fuck that’s even hotter. yes, of course.” the both of you moved and he sat against his headboard as you crawled and hovered over his lap

“ready?” he only looked at you and kissed you signaling for you to go. you lined him up with your entrance and sunk down on him

“shit.” you both sighed and he started kissing down your neck “go.” you started moving up a little and back down on him and he let out a gran

His hands grabbed your hips and he started to move you faster on him. he threw his head back and that made you want to cum right there and then. Conrad moaned out your name as you bounced on top of him. you would never believe that you would be here right now with him, doing this in his room.

“I’ve always thought about this.” he lifted his head making eye contact with you. you laughed leaning down to kiss him softly on his lips he took one of his hands to softly rub your clit to make you reach your high faster as he felt his high coming up from just how much he needed this moment to happen “just a few more minutes i can’t hold it longer you’re so beautiful.” you molded into him as his dick hit a spot inside of you making you clench around him “shit if you keep doing that I’ll cum sooner.” you smirked and did it again and Conrad rubbed your clit harder “fuck.”

You felt him twitch inside of you. he moaned loudly cumming into the condom inside of you and you follows right after him cumming on his cock. you both felt exhausted from the day. Conrad moved you off of him and next to you both before getting off the bed and into his bathroom. you sighed looking at his sailing trophies smiling at them and how you always gave him a good luck hug every time he was about to take off in the water

“what are you smiling about?” his voice took you out of your train of thought as he walked back to you with a damp washcloth and crawled back into bed with you softly wiping you down calming you down even more

“just your trophies.” you hummed “I loved watching you compete.” he smiled at you leaning into your body

“I only could get up in the mornings because of you.” he admitted “I loved it,” he paused “I love you.” you felt your heart jump and you wrapped your arms around his neck and taking in his scent

“I love you,” you muttered into his ear and you could feel his grin spread across your shoulder where his face was. you spent some time in silence before he spoke back up

“maybe someday we can do what you read in your books.” you moved back quickly looking to see if he was serious. and he was.

#conrad fisher x y/n #conrad fisher imagine #conrad fisher x fem!reader #conrad fisher one shot #conrad fisher x reader #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #tsitp fanfic #conrad fisher smut

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light-yaers · 2 years

Text

Lover: Chapter One

Chapter List | AO3 | Fic Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol and substance abuse, eventual sex/smut, mentions of death/cancer. 18+

A/N: hello hello!! so as said earlier, i have delved down a deep dark hole that i cannot get out of until i write this. this is a mini series based purely on the tv show characterisations, since i’ve not read the books! hope you enjoy xx

Word Count: 3.1k

Chapter One: reunited.

A thousand thoughts bombarded your skull as you walked around the side of the Fisher’s beach house in Cousins, but the main one was this—

Had it really been five fucking years since you were last here?

The summer you turned sixteen was the last holiday you ever spent here, only returning for Susannah’s funeral four years later, and now this. This of all things that you were still desperately trying to wrap your brain around; Belly and Jeremiah’s fucking wedding.

There was a part of you that knew it. Susannah had always said that you and Belly were destined for her boys, but during every summer before you left you were sure that she’d liked Conrad over Jere. You couldn’t wait to hear the stories. You couldn’t wait to simply exist with them again.

After everything that had halted your vacations here, after reeling and mourning Susannah away from them all; this was needed.

You needed to be back in Cousins with the Fisher’s and the Conklin’s again. Even if it might be the last time.

That was the hardest part to admit, for sure.

The path swirled around the back of the house, melting into the rest of the patio that surrounded the pool in the backyard. You remembered it all so vividly: nothing whatsoever had changed. This was the pool where the boys took it upon themselves to throw you and Belly into the cold water in the morning. This was the patio where you and Conrad sat after stealing a bottle of red wine from Adam’s wine cellar, chugging on the bottle and then stupidly deciding to rush down to the ocean for a late-night dip when you were teenagers.

The back door was swung open, music from the radio filtering out the back.

“Hello?” you announced hesitantly, and within seconds Jeremiah’s face popped out from the doorway.

“Oh my god,” he said first, before a smile the size of fucking Jupiter erupted onto his face. “Belly!” he exclaimed, before flinging himself down the back steps until you were within his arms.

Tears began fighting their way into your eyes, but you stopped them from forming. You didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to make this all the more difficult and heartfelt than you already knew it would be—

I mean... you hadn’t even seen Conrad yet. If you cried with Jeremiah and Belly, then you’d probably end up sobbing when you saw Conrad’s face.

Jeremiah held you tightly, squeezing you as if he wasn’t ever going to let go. He’d grown so much in five years, from the almost twenty-year old boy into a full grown twenty-four year old man; soon to be twenty-five. He was taller, bigger, bit still contained the same ferocious charm and love within his heart.

That would never disappear.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he whispered, and you swallowed back the want to burst into tears. Instead, you pulled away, holding him at an arms distance.

“And I can’t believe you’re fucking getting married,” you let out, laughter bubbling between the both of you. “Did you get her a good ring?” you asked.

“See it for yourself,” Belly’s voice spoke up over your reunion, and your chest all but caved in. As your gaze scattered over her, you were hit with the realisation that she was no longer a child. All the prior grace and elegance she’d lacked at age fourteen was now replaced with a sense of herself that made you jealous.

Belly descended the steps until she was at your level; strong, beautiful, grown.

“Fucking hell,” the words tumbled from your mouth involuntarily. “You—you, you’re so—,”

“I know,” she interrupted you, smiling at you with gleaming eyes that made your heart hurt.

“You’re so beautiful,” was all you could say, coming towards her and taking her hands in yours. You spun her around once, before she catapulted herself into your chest. “You’re not a kid anymore, Bells,” you whispered.

“Neither are you,” she whispered back. She smelled like sandalwood, the staple scent that Susannah adored pumping into the beach house.

Even without stepping into the house, you could already sense her absence; this nagging emptiness that sat on a chair at the patio, on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island, in the middle of the sofa clutching a cushion.

Your eyes found the doorway then, scanning the doorframe, scuttling across the windows, just trying to have a peak into the house to see if she—if someone—was in there. Steven, maybe. Or Conrad.

No, definitely Conrad.

As Belly grew, her crush on the eldest Fisher brother did as well. Her friendship with Jeremiah soared, as well. They were best friends, and now soon to be married.

You and Conrad had started off rocky. The two oldest kids in the house, butting heads and trying to one up each other, until the time you turned thirteen. That’s when the friendship had properly begun.

Nights on the beach, secret driving lessons in the golf buggies at the country club, playing chicken in the pool with Steven and Jere. Your relationship had blossomed into much more than the frenemy situation you’d started off in. When you left Cousins every summer, you stayed in contact. Whenever you were in the States, you made sure to visit him in Boston if you got the chance.

Those four years. Those four summers. Thirteen to sixteen years old.

That’s when Conrad was your favourite person in this entire world.

Maybe he still was.

Even after all this time. Even after the fight.

“He’s not in there,” Jeremiah said, shooting you a knowing stare. You frowned at him playfully. “He’s on the beach with Steven, and some friends,”

You let out a scoff. “Conrad has friends?”

“Shocker, I know,” Jere replied, coming over to snake a hand around Belly’s waist. The three of you looked out towards the ocean. “He’s been waiting for you to arrive for the past week. Everyday it’s when she gets here this and if she was here that,” he added, eyes scuttling over your face secretly. “He’s missed you,”

You breathed out slowly, ignoring the pain in your chest. “Yeah. That makes two of us,”

Walking down the dock to the beach, the pump of music and sounds of laughter got ever present. You’d never been to a bonfire on the beach; you’d always been too young; and it was crazy to realise that this was your first ever beach bonfire in Cousins. At age twenty-five. What the fuck.

You ignored your pounding heart as the dock slowly turned to sand, and slipped off your shoes when you stepped onto the beach. Your feet sank into the sand gently, as you strolled towards the circle of people in camp chairs and on inflatables.

You recognised Steven straight away, standing up to the right, arm draped around the shoulders of a very pretty girl. Steven had always been a stud, in his own special way. Like Belly, he’d also matured in a way that made the breath hitch in your throat.

You cleared your throat once, alerting some people to your presence. “Hey, nerd!” you yelled, and all eyes were upon you suddenly. Steven averted his gaze from his girl to you, and the realisation hit him like a truck.

“Oh my god,” him and Jere were still peas in a fucking pod; they even said the same fucking things. “Oh my fucking god!” he exclaimed, giving his girl a chaste kiss on her forehead before he flung himself across the beach towards you. His snarky and boundless energy was enough to make you buzz inside, copying the way he was all but jumping as he made his way over to you.

“You’re here! You’re here!” he yelled some more, wrapping his arms around you and bobbing you around in circles as his energy dispelled.

“Since when did you get so fucking tall?” you chuckled into his chest, struggling against the sheer size of the man before you.

“Same time my voice dropped,” he let out, pulling away. “It’s called puberty. You should look it up. Won’t be long until you go through it—,”

“Oh, fuck you,” you pushed him away playfully. “I was taller than you once, don’t forget that,”

“When we were twelve,” he chuckled. The inescapable feeling of happiness washed over you then, the same way the ocean washed up upon the shore. The fear you’d felt on the drive over from the airport felt silly now—

It was just Cousins. The place you’d grown up at. Surrounded by the people that saw you grow, and you them as well. It was just Belly, Jere, Steven and—

“Conrad’s swimming,” Steven said suddenly, leaning his shoulder against yours as he pointed towards the sea. “There,” you nodded once, taking in a deep breath. Steven immediately noticed your anxiety. “Five years, right?” he asked gently.

You nodded again, coming back to reality. “Yeah, five whole years,” you repeated.

“Take it from me,” Steven began, before gently laying his hand down on your shoulder. “He’s missed you more than he’ll let on,”

“That’s what I said,” Jere and Belly strolled up behind the two of you, peering out at Conrad in the ocean with you. “He’s been better the past few years, though. Who knows? He might turn back into the Connie we all grew up with,” Jere added, almost sadly.

“That would be a miracle,” Steven laughed once, crossing him arms.

“No,” Belly spoke suddenly. “I think you’re all underestimating him,” you shot a look at her; gently, thoughtfully, as her eyes danced across the ocean. “He’s been talking about you since we got engaged, you know?” Belly looked at you quickly, smiling slyly.

“You guys are scaring me more than I’m fucking scaring myself,” you let out nervously. Jere dropped his hand to your shoulder reassuringly.

“It’s just Conrad. He doesn’t bite,” he said, and you scoffed so loudly that it was lucky Conrad didn’t fucking hear you from the sea.

“You and I both know that’s a lie,” you chuckled, until you thought you might cough up a lung. It was useless stalling more, though. You had to face him sooner or later. You had to see him—and God—you wanted to. The days since you’d last hugged or talked Conrad Fisher were too many to even count.

You all watched as Conrad emerged from the sea, sopping wet. He pushed his drenched hair off his forehead, shaking himself off like a wet dog before he started walking up the beach. You took him in before you yelled. All soft curves and broader shoulders and a sharper jaw. He was the Conrad you’d always known, but he was also an image that you’d never know possible.

Conrad Fisher was grown up. Both of you were.

You whispered a peppy okay to yourself, before lunging forward playfully and exclaiming “Conrad Fisher!” through cupped hands. He looked up suddenly peering around the beach until he saw who was calling his name. “You’re late!” you added, and his gaze finally found yours.

When he stopped abruptly, you thought you were going to throw up. You started walking towards him slowly, skirt fluttering in the ocean breeze and hair flying all over the place. You stopped when you were no more than twenty meters from each other.

He was the first to smile. Your heart skipped.

“I’m late?” he replied, shouting without dignity across the beach. Everyone watched with bated breath, ready to witness you and Conrad reuniting after so fucking long. Confusion covered their faces—none of them knew who you were, same as yourself. Conrad started stomping across the beach towards you. “You’re five fucking years late,” he boomed.

You shot him the cheesiest smile possible, hands behind your back, leaning forward slightly in the signature pose of the guilty. “Who’s counting anyway?” you said, lower this time, as he stomped his way closer and closer to you without any indication of stopping.

“I am,” he said strongly, all eyes on him. His face was stern, his jaw clenched, his fists balled. God, maybe he was pissed off. Severely, really, angry.

“Okay,” you said, panicking suddenly as the gap between you both was starting to diminish very fast. You raised your hands, as if a gun was pointed at you. “I can explain—you know I can explain. We can talk this out,” you pleaded jokingly, but the line between playful and real was starting to fade.

You couldn’t read Conrad’s emotions anymore, not this soon anyway.

Ten meters between you was all that remained.

“It’s too late for explanations,” he replied, as the frown on his face slowly began upturning into a smile.

“Then—a bottle of red wine with your name on it?” you suggested.

“You’re not drinking your way out of this one, idiot,” he shut you down.

Five meters to go. You were so close now that, if you reached out, you could touch him; soaking wet skin and all.

“Then, then—,” you started clicking your fingers incessantly, but his strides only got longer, until he started jogging towards you. You took a few haste step backs. “Hey, now—Conrad—,”

“I have an idea for your penance,” he said, and he started sprinting.

“Hey—,”

“Belly flop!”

You started running before he’d even finished speaking, but it was far too late to beat him now. He was on your tail already, just am arm’s length away from grabbing your top and pulling you into his arms—which is exactly what he did.

He grabbed you by the waist, snaking his arms around your torso as he picked you, kicking and screaming, from the ground. He didn’t let up, not even when you squirmed in his arms and tried to push yourself off of him.

All the while back down the beach, he laughed as you tried to beg and plead your way out of this. The others looked on in awe, bar Jeremiah, Steven and Belly immediately rushing down to the beach to get a first-hand view of this ordeal.

“Conrad—Conrad!” you yelled, but to no avail.

“Five fucking years,” he kept saying it, over and over again as if trying to remind himself that he should be mad at you, but the smile in his face and the chuckles on his lips were enough for you to know he wasn’t at all.

“Put me down!” you screamed, bursting out giggles as he shuffled you in his grip, until he was holding you bridal style.

“Okay,” he said smartly, treading into the ocean until it reached his waist. You scrambled in his grip, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and trying to climb up higher on his tree length body. He clutched onto you tightly, sending silent chuckles into your ear as you were all too aware of the cold water beneath you.

“No, no, no—keep holding me—keep holding me!” you urged.

“I thought you wanted me to put you down?” he said smugly.

“I take it back—I take it back!” you begged.

“Rules are rules,” he said finally, as you looked back at the beach to see Steven with his phone out, filming the entire ordeal.

“You put that fucking phone down, Steven, or I swear to God—I’ll give you a wedgie as bad as the one I did when we were fifteen!” you shouted at him, and Conrad’s full laughter finally came out to play. You bobbed up and down in his arms, as his chest shot out chuckles of full belly laughter.

He turned back to the beach, just so everyone could get a good look. “Ready!” he yelled. The three of them on land cheered instantly.

“Fuck you, guys!” you yelled back.

“Together,” Conrad whispered, and you internally readied yourself.

“Wait—,” you began, but it was far too late. Conrad dropped himself to the floor, clutching you in his grasp until you were both under the water. You yelped in his arms, trying to squeeze out of his grip as you held your breath and felt the cold water cascade over every fucking inch of your skin and clothes.

He didn’t let you loose, though, but kept holding you as firmly as when he’d first picked you up.

Emerging from the water was the stuff of nightmares. Your hair, clothes, body, was drenched, along with Conrad himself. He shot himself back up to standing, laughing as you struggled in his grasp to get wet hair out of your face. When he started walking you back to the beach, you didn’t want to think about how heavy you’d be now—thanks to all the extra water weight.

As soon as you hit land, you jumped out of his arms, immediately falling to the ground and breathing heavily. “It’s so fucking cold!” you yelled, but the happiness on your face was apparent. Conrad laughed behind you, clutching his torso as he bent over slightly.

“Welcome back,” he let out breathlessly.

You forced yourself to standing, trying to ring out some of the water in your skirt. “I bought this skirt for the wedding,”

“Didn’t Belly tell you?” Conrad began, coming forward with a colossal smile on his pretty boy face. “You’re a bridesmaid,” Conrad glanced over to Belly on the beach behind you, winking smugly. Your eyes widened, as you turned round to her.

“What!” you screamed so more, but the breath in your lungs was running out fast from all the laughter you’d fucking produced.

“You’ve got a dress fitting next week,” she replied, as Jeremiah took hold of her hand. Steven was scrolling through his phone, looking at all the footage he’d just got.

You turned back to Conrad, shivering slightly as the breeze hit your wet body. He saw you shake, and let out an abrupt scoff. “Are you happy now, asshole?” you said playfully.

“I’ve never been happier,” he smiled.

“Sadist,” you let out, hugging yourself as you dripped water onto the sand. He came up behind you then, placing a gentle hand on your back. That alone made you shiver again.

He peered down at you fondly, hair covering his eyes slightly. “Come on, let’s go change inside,”

You shivered all the way to the beach house. Halfway up the dock, Conrad draped his arm around your shoulder, prompting you to hug his waist. You leaned your head into his shoulder, relishing in this closeness after so long.

“Five years,” you whispered, squeezing him affectionately.

“Five fucking years,” he repeated, peering down at you softly. Nothing more needed to be said.

He’d missed you more than you’d ever know.

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holystormfire · 4 months

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The List of 75 Books Lost or Excluded from the Bible

Joshua 10:13 KJV

And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.

2 Samuel 1:18 KJV

(Also he bade them teach the children of Judah the use of the bow: behold, it is written in the book of Jasher.)

1 Kings 11:41 KJV

And the rest of the acts of Solomon, and all that he did, and his wisdom, are they not written in the book of the acts of Solomon?

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑠...

The Protevangelion

The Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ

The Infancy Gospel of Thomas

The Epistles of Jesus Christ and Abgarus King of Edessa

The Gospel of Nicodemus (Acts of Pilate)

The Apostles’ Creed (throughout history)

The Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Laodiceans

The Epistles of Paul the Apostle to Seneca, with Seneca’s to Paul

The Acts of Paul and Thecla

The Epistle of Clement

The Second Epistle of Clement to the Corinthians

The Epistle of Barnabas

The Epistle of Ignatius to the Ephesians

The Epistle of Ignatius to the Magnesians

The Epistle of Ignatius to the Trallians

The Epistle of Ignatius to the Romans

The Epistle of Ignatius to the Philadelphians

The Epistle of Ignatius to the Smyrneans

The Epistle of Ignatius to Polycarp

The Shepherd of Hermas (Visions, Commands, and Similitudes)

Letter of Herod To Pilate the Governor

Letter of Pilate to Herod

The Lost Gospel of Peter

The Epistle of Polycarp to the Philippians

Book of Enoch 1

Book of Enoch 2 (known as The Secrets of Enoch)

Enoch 3

Book of Esdras 1

Book of Esdras 2

Book of Maccabees 1

Book of Maccabees 2

Book of Maccabees 3

Book of Maccabees 4

Book of Maccabees 5

Book of Tobit

Book of Jasher

Book of Judith

Book of Esther

Book of Ecclesiasticus / Sirach

Book of Jubilees

Book of Baruch 1

Book of Baruch 2

Book of Baruch 3

Book of The Shepherd of Hermas

Book of Wisdom / Wisdom of Solomon

Book of The Psalms of Solomon

Book of The Odes of Solomon

Book of Giants

Book of Adam and Eve 1

The Conflict of Adam and Eve with Satan

The Gospel of James / The Protevangelion

The Gospel of Peter

The Gospel of Thomas

The Gospel of Nicodemus / Acts of Pilate

The Syriac Infancy Gospel / Infancy of Jesus Christ

The Epistles of Jesus Christ and Abgarus, King of Edessa

The Epistle of Aristeas

The Epistle of Jeremiah

The Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Laodiceans

The Epistles of Paul the Apostle to Seneca

The Epistle of Pilate to Herod

Assumption of Moses

Apocalypse of Moses

Testament of Abraham

Apocalypse of Abraham

Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs

The Acts of Paul

The Acts of Paul and Thecla

The Apostles Creed

Psalm 151

Story of Susanna

Story of Bel and The Dragon

Story of Ahikar

The Prayer of Azariah and the Songs of the Three Holy Children

Prayer of Manasseh

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grandsouldream · 2 years

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Readings for 28 July

28/07/2022

#Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life #but whoever disobeys the Son will not see life #Book of Jeremiah 18 #Book of Jeremiah #Psalms 146(145)#Psalms #Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew 13 #Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew #Saint Catherine of Siena (1347-1380)#(Jn 3:36)#God #Lord #Jesus #Holy Spirit #love #hope #heaven life #peace

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officialyourdailyinspiration · 5 months

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Jeremiah and the Potter’s House

1 The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying,

2 Up! go down to the potter's house, and there I will let my words come to your ears.

3 Then I went down to the potter's house, and he was doing his work on the stones.

4 And when the vessel, which he was forming out of earth, got damaged in the hand of the potter, he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make it.

5 Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying,

6 O Israel, am I not able to do with you as this potter does? says the Lord. See, like earth in the potter's hand are you in my hands, O Israel.

7 Whenever I say anything about uprooting a nation or a kingdom, and smashing it and sending destruction on it;

8 If, in that very minute, that nation of which I was talking is turned away from its evil, my purpose of doing evil to them will be changed.

9 And whenever I say anything about building up a nation or a kingdom, and planting it;

10 If, in that very minute, it does evil in my eyes, going against my orders, then my good purpose, which I said I would do for them, will be changed.

11 Now, then, say to the men of Judah and to the people of Jerusalem, This is what the Lord has said: See, I am forming an evil thing against you, and designing a design against you: let every man come back now from his evil way, and let your ways and your doings be changed for the better.

12 But they will say, There is no hope: we will go on in our designs, and every one of us will do what he is moved by the pride of his evil heart to do.

13 So this is what the Lord has said: Make search among the nations and see who has had word of such things; the virgin of Israel has done a very shocking thing.

14 Will the white snow go away from the top of Sirion? will the cold waters flowing from the mountains become dry?

15 For my people have put me out of their memory, burning perfumes to that which is nothing; and because of this, I will put a cause of falling in their ways, even in the old roads, and will make them go on side-roads, in a way not lifted up;

16 Making their land a thing of wonder, causing sounds of surprise for ever; everyone who goes by will be overcome with wonder, shaking his head.

17 I will send them in flight, as from an east wind, before the attacker; I will let them see my back and not my face on the day of their downfall.

18 Then they said, Come, let us make a design against Jeremiah; for teaching will never be cut off from the priest, or wisdom from the wise, or the word from the prophet. Come, let us make use of his words for an attack on him, and let us give attention with care to what he says.

19 Give thought to me, O Lord, and give ear to the voice of those who put forward a cause against me.

20 Is evil to be the reward of good? for they have made a deep hole for my soul. Keep in mind how I took my place before you, to say a good word for them so that your wrath might be turned away from them.

21 For this cause, let their children be without food, and give them over to the power of the sword; and let their wives be without children and become widows; let their men be overtaken by death, and their young men be put to the sword in the fight.

22 Let a cry for help go up from their houses, when you send an armed band on them suddenly: for they have made a hole in which to take me, and have put nets for my feet secretly.

23 But you, Lord, have knowledge of all the designs which they have made against my life; let not their evil-doing be covered or their sin be washed away from before your eyes: but let it be a cause of falling before you: so do to them in the time of your wrath. — Jeremiah 18 | Bible in Basic English (BBE) The Bible in Basic English is in the public domain. Cross References: Genesis 6:6; Leviticus 26:32; Deuteronomy 29:19; 1 Samuel 2:30; 1 Samuel 13:13; 1 Samuel 15:33; 1 Samuel 19:4; 1 Kings 9:8; 2 Kings 17:13; Nehemiah 4:5; Job 5:13; Job 27:21; Psalm 35:7; Psalm 48:7; Psalm 52:2; Psalm 59:5; Psalm 63:10; Psalm 106:45; Psalm 119:85; Psalm 140:5; Isaiah 29:16; Isaiah 57:10; Isaiah 57:14; Isaiah 62:10; Isaiah 66:8; Jeremiah 1:10; Jeremiah 2:10-11; Jeremiah 7:3; Jeremiah 19:1-2; Jeremiah 31:28; Lamentations 3:59; Amos 9:11; Matthew 20:15; Acts 26:20; Romans 9:20-21

#plot against Jeremiah #the Potter #the clay #Jeremiah 18 #Book of Jeremiah #Old Testament #BBE #Bible in Basic English

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fangirl-dork · 9 months

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TSITP Conrad x Reader Headcannon

So I had this idea for a Conrad Fisher x fem!Reader fanfic so I’m saving this idea for whenever I get around to actually writing it. Lmk if you like it and if I should write more and make it into a full story.

(Disclaimer I haven't read the books so this is solely based off the show and my imagination. Also no spoilers for season 2.)

Y/N is new to Cousins this summer - which is ironic considering everyone is constantly asking Belly if she is new

She is working at the country club with Steven and Jeremiah

She turned 18 and when the boys try to hit on her she simply laughs them off (but that definitely doesn't stop Jeremiah's constant flirting)

Y/N first meets Belly while she is sitting at the Snack Bar at the country club waiting for Steven to give her a ride back

In this version of the story, Belly has a long term crush on Jeremiah, but she never thought anything would come of it since he would flirt with everyone - he just didn't seem like the relationship type to her and not to mention he always saw Belly as a sister

Y/N catches Belly staring at Cam wistfully

She and Belly hit it off immediately after she teases Belly for having every boy in Cousins whipped for her

Belly invites Y/N over to the family summer house

*cute Jer moment when he sees y/n with Belly at the house*

"I knew it! Y/N, you came to profess your undying love for me" Jeremiah screams from beside the pool.

"HA! In your dreams, Jeremiah" y/n giggles and rolls her eyes as Jeremiah pretends to faint falling backwards into the pool.

This interaction makes Belly jealous and slightly uncomfortable - even though she is with Cam now, she still has feelings for Jeremiah

Suddenly someone comes out and huffs passed the girls nearly shoving y/n. "Hey Conrad! This is -" Belly tried introducing y/n but was rudely cut off with a quick "hey" from Conrad, not even bothering to look over as he kept walking away.

"What's crawled up his butt" y/n tried joking off that by awkward interaction

"That's just Conrad, Jeremiah's brother...honestly not sure what his deal is. He usually isn't this rude." Y/N thought Belly was just saying that to make the situation less awkward.

"Come on! Lemme show you my room" Belly drags y/n up to her room

* *******time jump*********

Y/N found comfort in her friendship with Belly. It was like she finally found a little sister. Being an only child can get lonely and being around the Conklin/Fisher family summer house has been nice.

"It's just me and my mom. We moved down here because my uncle is doing some book thing and with everything we've been going through...my mom though it would be good for us" Y/N told Belly as they went through her makeup collection.

"What about your dad?" Y/N got quiet, looked down and started fiddling with her fingers. "BELLY IT'S TIME TO GO!!!" Steven yelled from downstairs.

Y/N let out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding, relived that she won't have to dive into the whole story.

They were headed to a party at Nicole's

As soon as they enter, Belly is swept away by the other debutante girls. The other girls seem nice, but y/n wasn't interested in being a debutante. She was over all that. She quietly snuck out onto the porch for a smoke.

“You know smoking changes the way your brain processes information.” You heard someone say from the corner of the porch. You turn to see Conrad with a joint in his mouth.

“Yeah okay, you’re one to talk,” Y/N states nodding towards his own joint.

“Well I’m a lost cause, but you can still quit,” he says leaning forward on the railing.

“What makes you think I wanna quit,” you murmur, blowing smoke out your nose. Conrad looks back intently, watching y/n stare off at the sky.

She can feel his eyes on her, but refuses to look in his direction. They stand side by side in silence. The music from the house blaring behind them slowly turning into a buzz in their heads. The thoughts in y/n’s head slowly fading away.

What do you think? Should I write more? I kinda like the idea of someone equally dealing with a lot to come into Conrad’s life and show him that he isn’t alone.

#tsitp #the summer i turned pretty #conrad x reader #conrad fisher #belly conklin #tsitp conrad #tsitp cast #jeremiah fisher #thesummeriturnedpretty

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jahayla-parker · 1 year

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Conrad Fisher Navigation

NAVIGATION TOOLS:

FLUFF:~

ANGST: *

Banners sort works by type

Heightened Insecurities : Conrad Fisher x Reader *~

Description: 10.8k (plus texts) Reader is Conrad’s girlfriend but begins to distance herself because she is insecure about her height. Hurt-Comfort / Angst-Fluff

Warnings: some angst, discussion of insecurities, some bullying/rude comments, crying, self-doubt, minor cursing, brief mention of cancer (his mother’s)- no mention of the outcome on this within this fic

Happy Place : Conrad Fisher x Reader ~

Description: 2.25k wc, the beach is y/n's happy place. Conrad knows that and decides to wake her up early one day to take her to it.

Warnings: one curse word, that's all I can think of (please Imk if I missed anything!)

Mistaken Emotions : Conrad Fisher x Reader *~

Description: 4.5 k wc, y/n and Conrad have been best friends for years, so she's knows there has to be more to his sudden change in behavior. Friends to lovers, angst to fluff, hurt comfort.

Warnings: mentions of/references to cancer & illness, panic attacks, anxiety, mentions of smoking and weed/pot/marajuana, anger/sadness/other emotions, etc.

Boy Friends : Conrad Fisher x Reader ~*

Description: 4.7k wc, Conrad gets jealous of his girlfriend and his brother's friendship and y/n tries to fix it. Some angst-fluff/hurt-comfort. (there's an OPTIONAL smut epilogue LINKED but know that part is 18+ only due to content)

Warnings: some hurt/angst/jealousy, relationships, etc.

Boy Friends : Conrad Fisher x Reader Epilogue #

Description: 3,370 wc SMUT, the ending to Boy Friends (above)

Warnings: 18+ only, smut, MDNI, oral sex both male and female receiving, vaginal penetration, explicit sexual content, riding, praise and praise!kink, cum, cum swallowing, orgasms, very light nipple play.

Her Faithful Protector (All 4 Parts Here) *~

Description: Conrad notices y/n has been harmed and steps in to protect her. Covers different stages in the process of him learning about it and different actions he takes.

Warnings: as you will see by the moodboard it covers abuse by a father/father figure, violence, trauma and trauma responses mentioned, injuries, bruising and swelling, mentions of food/ eating- in passing (background details not central to the story), mentions of divorce, and a few curse words.

Notes: this has a happy ending/resolution without Conrad adding more violence/trauma. If you're looking for a fic that primarily focuses on Conrad physically beating someone up a lot, this is not what you're looking for.

Younger-Sister!/Fisher!Reader x Sibling!/Platonic!Conrad & Sibling!/Platonic!Jeremiah Fisher Headcanons

Description: Headcanons for being Jeremiah and Conrad's younger sister.

Warnings: sibling/family relationship

None yet

Jeremiah Fisher Navigation

The Summer I Turned Pretty Navigation

Book Boyfriends Navigation

My Main (All Works) Masterlist/Navigation

Request Information/Process/Status

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anniesocsandgeneralstore · 2 years

Text

the echo (or the answer) - a werewolf au (Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OC)

Summary: Jeremiah Bellmoral is alive. He has taken Ronnie to bate the Alphas into a fight. But will his plan succeed?

Pairing: Alpha!Jake Seresin x Human!OC (Ronnie Bradshaw)

Word Count: 16,542

Warnings: bellmoral being a creep, blood, injury, violence, fighting, gore, angst, parental death mention, EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT 18+ONLY MINORS DNI (size kink, fingering, slight breeding kink, belly bulge, unprotected pinv, creampie, multiple orgasms, sex while injured)

FOUR | FIVE | SIX

-> likes are great but comments/reblogs are even better!

-> thank you to my werewolf love @blue-aconite for beta reading. for helping me with ideas. for encouraging me. for being an amazing friend and creative mind. i am eternally blessed by you. thank you.

-> this is the end, my babies. it has been a wonderful, crazy, sometimes intense ride. thank you all for reading. for engaging with my content. for commenting and reblogging. your love for this series has made me love it all the more and has filled my days with such joy. so please, feel free to come into my askbox at any time with questions, with ideas, with thoughts. i love to hear them all. my love to you all.

It started to rain. The dark sky rumbled and cracked as it finally released the heavy weight it had been carrying upon the world. This deep in the woods, Ronnie could hardly feel the rain. But she could hear it.

The droplets of water pattered softly against the hemlock, spruce, and adler leaves that made up the canopy above. At another time, she would have found the atmosphere calming. The gentle sounds of the rain, the tree trunks stretching before her for miles, the fallen pine needles soft beneath her as she leaned back against a tree. If she had a book and a thermos full of hot coffee, it would be a perfect relaxation spot.

Except she was far from relaxed, calm, or safe. Pale blue eyes watched her every move. Blood dripped from the wounds that marred her face. Her shoulder and hip screamed in pain just sitting there and breathing.

Jeremiah Bellmoral still crouched in front of her. Very much alive and very much amused by her horror. Elbows on his knees and long fingers threaded together as he observed her with a tilt of his head. Not watched, observed. Like she was a specimen in a jar.

He was supposed to be dead. He should be dead. Jake had the power of the Alpha, won it in the challenge against Bellmoral. Tore it from the wolf who did nothing but hurt him and his pack. And that could only occur when the other wolf was completely defeated. Ronnie couldn’t wrap her head around how he could possibly be before her now.

It made it hard to move, hard to think under the calculated, pale gaze of what was surely a ghost.

“Your fear…” Bellmoral whispered as he reached out to her, Ronnie flinched as he ran his finger along her jawline — collecting the blood that wept along that edge. “Smells so sweet.”

He pulled back his hand, pointer finger coated in crimson. Then he put the digit to his lips and tasted it with a groan. Ronnie clenched her jaw tight as her stomach turned.

Get out, run, don’t let yourself become a part of his plot, every instinct inside her screamed as he leaned back on his haunches with a face-splitting grin. She knew she couldn’t just start running. He was clearly faster and stronger than her. If she had any chance, it would be to attack him with something first. Catch him by surprise to give herself a head start. Only the pockets of her fleece were completely empty save for some lint, and it seemed that Bellmoral had taken every stick from the clearing.

As he continued to stare at her, lips now stained with her blood, she tried to move her hands imperceptively on the ground in search of something she could use. Anything.

Her eyebrows jerked up as her fingers caught on the smooth edge of a rock. Just behind her back in front of the tree trunk she leaned on. She glanced up at Bellmoral’s face to see if he noticed, and maybe he did. His head was tilted to one side, his smile fallen from his face. Shit. She needed him distracted if she was going to do this. The more she felt around the rock she could tell that it was buried in the dirt — it was going to take time to dig it out without being able to look at it.

So no matter how much she didn’t want to, she started talking to Jeremiah Bellmoral.

“How did you — ?” She coughed to clear her throat, her voice sounding underused and horse. “Jake’s the Alpha…How’re you alive?”

“I am the Alpha!” Bellmoral roared as he pounded his fist into his chest, then he repeated, quieter. “I am the Alpha. Your mate…Was too weak to finish the job. Left me barely clinging to life — gave me these.”

He ran his fingers along the litany of raised scars on the left side of his face. Ronnie’s nails dug into the dirt around the cold stone.

“But it was enough for the power of the Alpha to go to him. No need to fret, no need to fret. I will be getting it back soon. The power that is rightfully mine, that is wasted on that ungrateful scum.”

This made Ronnie pause, even as she continued to dig out the rock. It was bigger than she first thought. Good.

“How’re you going to take it back if Jake and Bradley are going to kill each other?” she asked.

Bellmoral shook his head at her. “I really thought you were supposed to be smart. You know — you know — I read a few pages of that little book of yours. What did you call it? The Blue River Pack: A Werewolf History?”

A shiver ran down her spine, her blood turned cold. He had been in her house. In her room. Without anyone noticing. She dug into the dirt just a little bit faster, the scrape of her nails more frantic.

“So — So tell me what you wrote, about the Spirit of the Alpha.”

“It’s — It’s the embodiment of werewolf strength and power. It grants the wolf with the ability to hold control over the Betas in their pack and — and turn humans into werewolves with a single bite,” Ronnie explained quietly, eyes trained on Bellmoral’s filthy boots. “It was given as a blessing and a curse to Augustine Bradshaw and it’s passed down from firstborn to firstborn. Or taken in a challenge.”

“But-But, have you ever thought about what would happen if an Alpha were to die with no firstborns…And no challenge won?” Ronnie’s brow furrowed as Bellmoral crawled closer to her. “You see, your family isn’t the only one with ancient texts left for the generations to follow. I found that if that were to happen — the Alpha Spirit then goes into the wolf most worthy of its power. Called a True Alpha, because-because they received the power without birthright or fight.”

The rock finally broke free of the dirt. Ronnie had to resist the noise of success she longed to make. It was as wide as her palm, flat and sharp. The ridge dug into the fingers of her left hand. Finally.

She adjusted her grip on the stone as she said, “So when Jake and Brad kill each other over me…The Alpha Spirit will go to you?”

“See, there you go.” Bellmoral smiled as he gestured at her, both palms turned towards the sky — a few raindrops slipping through the foliage to land on the pale skin. “Now you’re getting it. The Spirit, the power, is mine. By birthright and by the divine. The Moon Goddess…Chose me for a reason. All of this — these six months of torment and your mate running wild — was just a test. Soon, what is mine will be mine again. And you…Veronica Bradshaw…”

She pushed herself back against the tree as he reached for her. As his hand wrapped around her throat.

“Will be able to do nothing but sit back and watch as your life gets torn apart. But really you won’t be able to blame me. They killed each other after all…And maybe…You’ll find some comfort in my embrace when this is through.”

Ronnie screamed as she lifted the stone and brought it down hard onto Bellmoral’s head. He made a sound of surprise as he fell back, his grip on her throat disappearing as he clutched his bleeding face. As soon as he was out of her line of sight, she scrambled up from the ground and took off at a sprint.

White spots danced in her vision but she didn’t care. She needed to get away. Get somewhere safe, find Jake or Brad and explain what was going on. This wasn’t how she wanted any of this to go down. But none of that mattered anymore when lives were at stake. She couldn’t let Bellmoral’s plans come to fruition. Even if that meant telling her brother in the worst way possible that she was mated to his rival.

But she barely made it past the edge of the clearing before Bellmoral tackled her to the ground. All the air was forced out of her lungs as she hit the hard earth with a thud, Bellmoral’s entire weight on her back as she struggled and writhed to get away. She managed to roll over onto her back, the rock she had managed to hold tightly in her left fist raised to hit him again. But Bellmoral had learned his lesson. He grabbed her wrist with a snarl and squeezed until there was an audible pop. Ronnie cried out as a sharp pain went down her left arm, fingers falling limp and the stone plummeting with them.

“You are proving to be — “ Bellmoral rose to his feet, leaving Ronnie stunned on the ground, holding what was surely a broken wrist lightly. “More trouble than you’re worth, Veronica Bradshaw.”

He took hold of the front of her fleece and began dragging her back into the clearing. She struggled feebly, booted feet digging into the dirt as she repeated: “No, no, no!”

She gasped as Bellmoral suddenly yanked her to her feet before him, lifting her until only her tip-toes were touching as he bared his sharp fangs at her. The stone's mark on his forehead and face was already beginning to heal. She whimpered, bottom lip trembling as she tried to lean away from him.

“Maybe I should just rip out your throat.” This only made her struggle more, feet scrambling for purchase as her uninjured hand scratched at his forearm. “Leave you here for Jake and your brother to find. Fighting over your dead body will surely end in the same result.”

“No,” she sobbed softly as she tasted the salt of her own tears on her lips.

Bellmoral perked up, ear turned towards the west. Then he turned back to her with a grin. “Your mate approaches — drawn by your call.”

He set her down on her feet and retracted his hand. She wobbled unsteadily, broken wrist cradled against her chest. Her stomach heaved as reality set in. She couldn’t stop this. Jake was so close that Bellmoral could hear him. Bradley was surely not far behind. His plan was in motion and there was no stopping it.

“If you try to warn him, I will attack…And he’ll watch as I finally get a real taste of your blood.”

After that, he disappeared into the woods. Leaving Ronnie trembling in the middle of the clearing, unshed tears blurring her vision. She could still hear the rain. Pattering against the canopy, rare drops landed softly on her skin. Mixing with the dried blood on her face. She stared out at the trees infinite before her, like a silent audience to her tragedy. Bystanders who just stood there and watched as everything fell apart. No warning. No guidance.

Just silence.

For a moment, Ronnie wanted to scream. It expanded in her chest and filled her throat until there was nothing left to do but open her maw and unleash her shriek upon the world. Her defiance. Her pain. Her call for justice. Her call to a goddess of the moon who had now joined the audience. Who seemed to withhold all Her blessings from a daughter who sat on the fringes of the world She resided over. But the scream got caught in her throat. Threatened to strangle her as she screwed her eyes shut, tears pouring down her cheeks. She gasped and gurgled around it as she fell to her knees.

Do something, she pleaded to the trees, to the goddess above.

Just silence.

Through blurred vision, she saw a large, golden wolf break through the treeline. Despite everything, the fear and the pain of her injuries, relief flooded her veins at the sight of him. Released from her in a sob as Jake shifted before her. Behind him, the rest of Red Sky followed after — noses upturned as they sniffed out anything suspicious.

“Jake!” she cried as he came to his knees before her.

They crashed into each other like tectonic plates that formed entire mountain ranges. He pulled her into his chest with an arm around her shoulders, his other hand threaded into the tangled hairs on the back of her head — holding her to him with that gentle strength. His heart was beating erratically, his shoulders heaved as he assured himself that she was there. His hands snaked under her layers of clothes to feel her bare skin, clammy against his warm palms.

But then she hissed in pain when her wrist bent only slightly and he pulled back to look at her. He inspected her wrist first, eyes still glowing that deep crimson of the Alpha as he touched the delicate bones gently. The flesh was already beginning to swell and turn red. Then he looked up into her face, fingers trailing along the edge of her jaw coated in dried blood. He took in the state of her. The claw marks on her face, the tear streaks in the dirt coating her cheeks. And she watched as his expression darkened. As his lip curled and that crease formed between his brows.

“Who did this to you?” he whispered, voice trembling with barely there restraint.

“I…” For a moment, she considered telling him the truth anyway. Anything to save him, to save everyone. But then she saw Bellmoral’s white eyes flash somewhere in the distance just over Jake’s shoulder and she relented. “It doesn’t matter right now. Can we just go, please?”

“No, we’re gonna find whoever did this.” Jake looked over his shoulder at his pack. “Fan out, they couldn’t’ve gotten far.”

The pack trotted into the trees and Ronnie desperately wanted to call out to them to stop. But she couldn’t. Bellmoral was out there somewhere. And how could she explain without telling the truth, without giving some warning?

Jake helped her get back to her feet tenderly. And as soon as she was stable, he wrapped her up in his arms again, pressing firm kisses into the top of her head. She sagged against him, let him take the brunt of her weight. If only for a moment. The danger was still real and ever-present, but she needed just a moment. A moment of respite, a moment to think, even. She needed to find a way to save Jake, save Bradley, and save herself. But how could she? She was just one person, one unpowered, unsupernatural person.

“S’okay, little one, I’ve got you,” Jake whispered as he ran his hand up and down the length of her aching spine.

It was only a few hours ago that she would have given anything to be with him. But now the only safe place for him was miles away from her.

“Jake…” She pulled weakly away from his chest. “Take me home, please.”

Wherever home was. The hostel? The house in Marnmouth? It didn’t matter as long as he got both of them out of there.

“Okay, if that’s what you want, Ronnie,” he replied.

“Please.”

She couldn’t help the urgency that slipped into her tone, making Jake pause as he looked down at her. It was hard for mates to hide things from one another. He knew her in a way no one else could. There was something, deep inside, that revealed her truest feelings to him. Being only human, it was something she couldn’t experience herself — that connection to him. Her father described the bond once as a place in his heart that was solely Carole, that whispered to him what she needed and what she felt. Ronnie was sure Jake could feel the anxiety roiling around inside her, the urgency, the horror.

“Who did this — ?” Jake started to ask, but was interrupted by the sound of yelping in the trees.

He turned, holding Ronnie behind him as the pack ran back into the clearing.

Closely followed by the entirety of Blue River — absolutely massive in comparison to Red Sky — Bradley at the lead with his lips pulled back in a vicious snarl. Jake’s grip on her tightened and for a moment, she was frozen.

God, this wasn’t how she wanted this to happen at all.

Bradley skidded to a halt. He looked so much like their father in wolf form. Deep chocolate brown, with no fur growing from the pink scars that littered his face and neck. Pete and Bob were hot on his heels, Bob towering above all the other wolves in the clearing. Pretty soon, all of Red Sky was corralled and surrounded on all sides by Blue River wolves.

And Ronnie never felt so hopeless. She promised they wouldn’t get attacked again. But it was because of her that this was happening. If she had just told Bradley sooner. If she just wasn’t a coward. None of this would be happening.

Over Jake’s shoulder, his grip on her waist tight, she watched as Bradley shifted back into human form. His cheeks were bright pink, his eyes fiery red as he approached the two of them with stomping steps.

“Get the fuck away from my sister, Red Sky!”

Bradley spat the pack name like an insult. Jake stood his ground, his arm tightening around her with a low growl. But Bradley wasn’t going to stand for it. She could see his perspective clearly. Entering the scene to see his sister bleeding and hurt, in the presence of the rival Alpha. The wildcard. The threat. It was only logical that he would jump to the conclusion that Jake had done this to her.

Bellmoral’s plan was working perfectly.

Bradley collided with Jake, his growl loud and menacing, and it all happened in a blur. One second she was standing behind Jake, his touch affirming and strong against her, and the next she was falling back.

On instinct, she reached to catch herself. Then she felt the already fractured bones in her wrist crunch and she shouted, gargled and broken in her throat. It hurt all the way up to her elbow, like a freshly forged knife was dragged along the nerves. Ronnie let herself fall back onto the pine needles with another cry of pain, right hand cradling her left against her chest as her head swam with nothing but white-hot agony. The canopy of leaves above shifted and swirled as her mind fought the pain, her stomach swooping.

“Ronnie!” she heard Jake call as she willed herself to stay awake, to grit her teeth and bare it. “Get out of my way!”

Bellmoral was watching, somewhere in the distance. In the back of her mind, she wondered how he was able to cover his scent from all the werewolves present. Not a single one of them, even the ones who would be familiar, seemed to know that he was anywhere near them. He was watching and waiting and puffing up with pride at the way it was all falling into place.

She needed to get up. She needed to stop this. But it fucking hurt. Everywhere. All at once.

Ronnie couldn’t let that happen. She just couldn’t. It didn’t matter that she was just human. That everything hurt. That she had no power and no strength. It was all up to her now. Even with a broken wrist and so much fear.

Rolling onto her good side, she pushed herself up onto her elbow, forcing herself to move despite the discomfort.

Bradley was pushing Jake back, away from Ronnie. Just another thing that was going exceptionally well for Jeremiah Bellmoral. She was injured. Jake was her mate, her Alpha, and Bradley was getting in the way. He was keeping Jake from protecting her, comforting her, helping her. He didn’t know it, but he was pouring gasoline on an open fire that was already more than willing to burn the world down to get to her.

Ronnie sat up completely, gasping when she noticed that she was starting to lose feeling in her hand. That couldn’t be good. Reuben and Mickey knelt down on either side of her, keeping her upright with gentle hands on her back.

Jake’s roar echoed through the trees; Ronnie felt it ring her soul like an ancient bell. And when she looked up, he was shifted into his wolf form. His hackles raised as he stared her brother down with eyes red as blood. Bradley muttered something about killing him for hurting his sister, then he too shifted back into his wolf form. This was the first time she had seen them together. She knew Jake was smaller than Bradley, not by much, but he was leaner — muscles well attuned to fighting rippling beneath his golden fur.

Ronnie knew that Bradley had never fought another wolf in his entire life — not for real. But he was bound to be stronger than Jake with the size of his pack. Every Beta under his control giving him strength. Something that he more than doubled Jake with.

“No! Stop! Please!” she shrieked as she tried to get to her feet.

To get between them somehow, make them stop. But as soon as she knelt on the ground, one foot planted to propel her into the impending fight, a set of muscular arms circled around her waist and lifted her off the ground. She shouted as she struggled against their strong grip, her mind turned to the worst. Bellmoral forcing her to watch. But when she looked back, it was Jake’s second-in-command, Javy, pulling her away to safety.

He dragged her back just in time.

Jake lunged at Bradley first. Growls, barks, roars, and the snapping of great teeth filled the air. It was a haze of gold and brown fur as they moved around the clearing. Rolling and biting and clawing at one another. None of the other wolves attacked, knowing that this was a fight between the two Alphas and the Alphas alone.

Ronnie went limp in Javy’s arms, heart seized in her chest — refusing to pump her precious lifeblood to the rest of her body. It was happening. She wasn’t able to stop it. She really would just sit back and watch as her life was torn apart. As her brother and her mate killed each other over what they thought was the right thing, over her.

She could see, across the clearing, that Dylan and Natasha were trying to get to her. Get her away from Red Sky and back where she belonged. But they were stopped by Pete and Bob, and for a moment she was grateful. And looking over, she saw that she was surrounded by her pack.

Her pack. Not her family’s pack. Not her ancestor’s pack. Not her legacy’s pack. Her pack. Her own.

And it was up to her to save it. Just her in her human strength. In her human wit. In maybe her kindness and truth. Her father always said she was human for a reason. And maybe this was it.

Suddenly, a yelp echoed sharp and clear through the canopy.

Jake lay on the ground, his great wolf body heaving with the effort to breathe. Bradley stepped back from his prone form, posture proud. Ronnie heard the sob she released before she even registered that it was her that made the noise. Wrenched violently from her throat like a rusted nail from stubborn wood. An answer to her mate’s cry of agony.

Bradley turned to her with a shake of his head, looking nearly surprised when he saw her crowded on all sides by Red Sky wolves instead of Blue River. Jake still lay on the ground, soft whines escaping him as he pawed at the earth. He looked like he was about to get up, lips pulled back from his sharp white teeth as another Alpha looked at his pack.

The strong arms holding her back released her before she even had to tell them to. Ronnie walked slowly into the clearing, her own injuries forgotten — numb — as she padded across the pine needles. The rain was coming down harder now. More drops slipped through the foliage to wet her cheeks, make her tears disappear with them. The wind howled through the trees. Its own wolf’s call.

Bradley looked expectant. He thought she would come to him, thank him for saving her, and tell him to take her home. But she didn’t. She walked right past him without sparing a second glance. His massive, furry head turned to follow her movement with a noise of confusion.

Everything felt so slow, as she walked up to Jake’s massive golden form. A single red eye followed her as she knelt down by his head. There was a large gash that started at his neck and went down to his chest, rendering the muscles of his shoulder asunder. Crimson blood poured out onto the ground, but she could see that the wound was already healing. Ronnie placed her good hand on his face and he stilled, his breathing less ragged as he pawed gently at her leg.

“It’s okay, my Alpha,” she whispered softly as she stroked his furry face. “We’re okay. You and me.”

Behind her, Bradley growled with a stamp of his massive paw.

Pete took a step closer, speaking calmly and clearly as he said, “He wants to know what’s going on.”

“Can you stand?” Ronnie asked, hand hovering over Jake’s gaping wound.

He huffed but lifted his head. And, as Ronnie slowly rose back to her feet, so did Jake. He had to hold up his front left paw so as not to put any weight on it, and she found it fitting as she held her left hand against her stomach. Bradley growled again, insistent and impatient.

But any of the agitations on his wolfish face disappeared once Ronnie turned to face him. A sad, understanding sort of smile tugged at her cracked lips.

“We’re mated, Brad.” She didn’t fumble for words, she didn’t even feel any fear as she looked directly into her brother’s chocolate brown fur and beaming red eyes. “And I accepted him — because I love him.”

A hush fell over the world. Nothing but the sounds of rain and Jake’s labored breathing filled the air.

“I knew as soon as he walked into the tavern that night. But I — I was scared to tell you. I almost rejected him I was so scared. And…And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. That I let it go this far. I just — I didn’t want you to hurt them.” She looked over to Red Sky, huddled together like Roman soldiers ready to take on attack, and when she looked back to her brother, she couldn’t help the way her chin quivered. “I didn’t want you to hate me.”

Jake moved in closer to her side, now able to put weight on his leg, albeit gingerly. She felt his blood-matted fur brush against her shoulder and it brought her some comfort. Even as she stared into Bradley’s shocked wolf face. Felt the eyes of every Blue River wolf trained solely on her.

“But I…He was chosen for me by powers beyond our control. At first, I didn’t understand it. Why we would be mated. But I — I choose him, now. I-I irrevocably choose him. Over Blue River. Over the packs’ history. Even over you. Even if you hate me. Because I love him. And I belong with him.

“So if you’re gonna kill him.” Ronnie took one step forward, placing herself between Bradley and Jake. “You’re gonna have to go through me first.”

Just silence.

The audience was gathered to witness the final tragedy. The unhappy ending. Antigone’s brother left unburied and her betrothed doomed to death for his father’s mistakes. The trees, the goddess, the wolves wait on bated breath for the news to come to the hard-hearted king. Everyone is dead, and he would be left to live out the rest of his days praying for the end.

But then applause resounded before the tragedy was finished. A continuous, monotonous, clap clap clap from somewhere deep in the trees.

Ronnie’s heart dropped into her stomach. She reached out to Jake and tangled her fingers in his fur, gripping the golden strands tight. She had nearly forgotten he was hiding in the forest, waiting for his plan to unfold. But she had just thrown a wrench in it, brought it to a screeching nearly-driving-off-the-road halt. There was no telling what he was going to do now. And that terrified her more than anything else. The unpredictability of a man driven mad by the power passed on to him by his ancestors.

Jake curled his body around her as the clapping got closer, as a gentle, hollow chuckle harmonized along.

“Leave it to you, Veronica Bradshaw, to find some way to ruin my plans!” His voice echoed through the trees, distorted, like it was coming from everywhere and nowhere. “The key — you were supposed to be the key!”

“Ronnie, what the hell is this?” Pete asked as he looked around for the source of the voice.

“I — “ she tried to explain.

But Bellmoral cut her off. Somewhere in the trees. His wailing an echo and an answer.

“No! This wasn’t how this was supposed to go! We were going to be okay you and I…After you saw the light. After you saw that I was right all along. He was never meant to have it. It was always supposed to be mine. Which-which meant that you were always supposed to be mine, too. Don’t you see? Veronica?”

Jake pressed around her tighter, growl rumbling low in his throat as his lips curled back away from his teeth.

“And you…Jake Seresin. Ungrateful. Arrogant. Unworthy. I gave you everything. I gave you that family you always wanted, that belonging. On top of that, I gave you a power that you could never even dream of. And what did you do? You spat in my face! You danced on my grave — or at least, what you thought was my grave.”

Bellmoral laughed, the sound ricocheting through the trees — making the few birds that had stuck around take off into the rain-filled sky. Jake went rigid around her, ears flat against his head that was tilted low to the ground. Nearly every hair on his massive body stood on end. Ronnie looked over at the small Red Sky pack as she placed a reassuring hand on Jake’s shoulder. Every single one of them was pale, eyes wide as they stared out into the trees. Like they were encountering a ghost.

Their greatest horror. One they thought was long behind them.

Bellmoral stepped into the clearing with a smile on his face and a tilt of his head. Ronnie could feel, as Jake somehow wound his body around her tighter, shielding her from Bellmoral, that every muscle inside him was wound tight. Ready to snap. Ready to fight or fly or stand paralyzed before the monster who had done nothing but destroy his life, mar and kill those that he loved. She pressed her hand more firmly into him. Jake relaxed only slightly beneath her touch.

“Ronnie, who is this guy?” Pete asked as the Blue River wolves fanned out, each golden set of eyes trained on this new threat.

“Jeremiah Bellmoral,” she answered, voice shaking despite the strength she wanted to show; for Jake and Red Sky.

“A pleasure to meet you all, truly.” He looked around at the Blue River wolves with that Cheshire-cat grin. “I’ve been watching you for months and can I just say…You’re a mess. A mess that I sought to clean up.”

“It’s over, Bellmoral. Enough,” Ronnie snapped, a grimace pulling at her lips and brow.

Bellmoral jerked his head over to look at her, white eyes of the Omega shining. “Is it? Now more than ever — it’s clear to see that the Bradshaw line needs to be broken. I mean just look at him.”

He gestured wildly at Bradley, his skeletal face pulled back in some expression like he was looking at a puppy with only three legs. Doomed to fall and fail as it teetered around the yard. Almost sympathetic, almost pitying. But there was a hidden malice, a rushing river just beneath the ice. The Blue River Alpha stiffened under the sudden attention, head raised and red eyes unblinking as he stared Bellmoral down.

“I can practically see the silver spoon between his teeth. What has he worked for? For what has he toiled? Fought for? I know that — “ Bellmoral turned to look at Jake with lips pulled back into a smirk — whether it was at what he was about to say or the way the Alpha nearly flinched away from him Ronnie couldn’t tell. “Jake would agree with me. I heard you talking about him. It really is not fair. All Bradley had to do was wait for his dear papa to die, and then he got all that power, all those Betas, all that respect! While you, Jake, you had to fight tooth and nail for scraps.

“Little Bradley here has everything he could ever want — and when you want just one thing? His little sister as your own — as the Moon Goddess has ordained? He can’t bare it. He throws a tantrum. He blinds himself to the signs that were there! He refuses to see what was so clear.”

He turned on Bradley, taking a step closer as he roared, “How did you not see it, Bradshaw? How did you not know that your own sister had found her mate? Even I could feel it coming off her the moment she stepped out of that tavern four weeks ago! Sickeningly sweet and bright as the moon! Is it because you would rather keep your sister at a distance, keep her on the outside looking in? You would rather deny her any sense of belonging than let her leave your control — find her own place in this world.”

Bradley snarled and snapped his teeth, great paws digging into the ground as he lowered his head at Bellmoral. Ronnie could see it, however — see the river beneath the ice, the malice under the pity. This was Bellmoral’s backup plan. Pull at all of Bradley’s strings until he attacked, playing him like a fiddle, or a harp, or some other instrument that could very well snap from misuse. And she knew her brother. Knew that those words would reach something at the core of him, touch all his insecurities and make him lash out in some attempt to defend his hurt pride.

It was something she had done before, in their youth. When she really wanted to hurt him but knew she stood no chance against him physically. It was always in that way that siblings do. When she would say something so scathing, and then in the next hour walk close beside him to the corner store for snacks. Then at school the next day when someone said something behind his back she would threaten to knock their lights out.

She wanted to defend him now. Even after all he had done, all he had said. Even if, maybe, Bellmoral was even right. That didn’t matter. Because he was her brother. Her family. Her flesh and blood, with eyes that matched her own and a smile just like her father’s.

“Brad, don’t listen — “

But it was too late. Bradley roared before he dove at Bellmoral, who shifted into his wolf form in an instant. Prepared and ready for Bradley’s attack. Bellmoral’s wolf was nearly as big as Bob — but he was malnourished. His bones stuck out at odd angles, his once brilliant grey fur now matted and balding in places. His white eyes shown great and terrible as his teeth sunk into Bradley’s shoulder.

Ronnie cried out as Jake moved her away from the fight. Shoved her back as gently as he could until she was amongst the other Red Sky wolves. Mickey took her shoulder and pulled her in closer, his fingers dug into the spot where Bellmoral’s teeth had held her and she hissed against the pain. Everything hurt. Her shoulder, her hip, her wrist, her face, her heart. Maybe her heart most of all. It weighed heavy in her chest, spilled into her lungs, making it hard to breathe as she watched Bellmoral pin her brother into the dirt.

Bradley and Bellmoral grappled, teeth clacking and bodies rolling around on the ground. Blue River could do nothing but watch. A fight against their Alpha meant they couldn’t intervene. It would mean that they thought their leader weak, and none of them thought that of Bradley. None of them ever could.

Especially Ronnie. And despite everything, a sob left her lips as Bradley yelped. A sound she knew so well, a sound she had heard throughout her life. Bellmoral had him pinned down by the throat, Bradley’s paws moving feebly to try and get him off. Ronnie took a step forward before she even realized she was moving, but Mickey and Reuben held her back.

She remembered a time when they were as close as could be. When they would sit together on the roof of the pack house and watch the full moon with a kind of longing adventures were born from. When they would ride their bikes to school together. When he let her ride on his back through the woods. When they fought and forgave and hugged and cried and screamed and laughed. But then she went away to college and he stayed put. Then she stopped calling back home as much and he only texted when he needed something. Then she didn’t come home the last two summers, opting to find work in Seattle instead. Then when she graduated and moved back home, she didn’t move back into the family house. She took the hunting cabin their dad had built years ago.

A rift chipped away at both sides. A symptom of growing up. Of wanting different things. Of being different things.

But he was her brother. She was born knowing him. She was born loving him.

“Jake,” she called softly before she could put more thought behind her words. His giant golden head turned to look at her instantly. “Help him…Please.”

He stared at her for a moment. And she could see his reaction written all over his face. The fear at fighting Bellmoral again. The defiance at helping the wolf who moments ago wanted him dead. He was still bleeding, the wound Bradley gave him healing at a slower rate, he could barely put any weight on his leg. Ronnie glanced over his golden shoulder to see that Bradley had stopped struggling, Bellmoral’s lips pulled back as he watched the life drain from him — as he took Bradley’s death slowly.

Ronnie looked back to her mate with a pleading quiver in her lip. “Please.”

Jake turned to the losing battle.

And then he roared.

Bellmoral looked up just in time for Jake to tackle him off of Bradley’s prone form. The previous Alpha of Red Sky stared down the one who usurped him, pale grey head hung low and eyes glowing white. They may have been talking to one another, but Ronnie couldn’t hear a thing. Only Bradley’s hacking as he got back to his feet. Jake and Bellmoral met with a furious growl, raised up on their back legs as they swiped at one another. But Jake was clearly weakened, his shoulder refusing to heal. He landed back on all fours with a yap of pain. But he had gotten his claws into Bellmoral’s face. The grey wolf staggered back as he shook his head, trying to clear the blood from his vision.

Then Bradley came to stand at Jake’s side.

A laugh seemed to spill from Bellmoral’s red lips as he looked at them. The Alphas of two packs who had been warring for centuries. Standing together just to defeat him once and for all. Ronnie wondered, as she leaned against Mickey for support, if he was beginning to worry. If he was beginning to regret.

It didn’t seem like it as he charged at them.

He swiped at Jake as he went for Bradley’s throat with his teeth. But even wounded, the two Alphas together were too fast and too strong for him. In what felt like only an instant Bradley had Bellmoral pinned down at his waist. And Jake had his jaw clamped tight around the grey wolf’s neck.

Then Jake began to pull.

Bellmoral screamed.

And with one final yank, the grey wolf was ripped in two.

Jake arched up with the force of it, up onto his back paws as he pulled the top half of his body free. Leaving behind limp legs and entrails spilling out. Blood sprayed in every direction. Ronnie felt the warmth of it on her face as she stared wide-eyed at the scene before her. Jake spat out Bellmoral’s mauled neck. Bradley got off the rest of the body with a huff.

Ronnie slumped against Mickey completely. A relief-soaked sob echoing in her throat as he steadied her. When she looked back up, Jake and Bradley were shifted back into their human forms. Their shoulders working as they breathed, as they stared down at the body at their feet. Bellmoral was back in his human form as well — shifted one last time in the Goddess’ mercy so they couldn’t be caught in death — torso separated from his legs. Eyes staring unblinkingly at the grey sky. Mouth still pulled back in a smile.

Bradley nodded, a subtle curt thing, at Jake and he nodded back. A thank you. An acceptance.

It was over. It was finally over. Red Sky was truly free. Maybe it wasn’t a tragedy after all. Maybe there was still hope.

A fractured wrist, the bones now held in place to heal back together by a thick plastic brace. Deep muscle bruising to the shoulder and hip. Four gashes to the face, one requiring stitches and the rest held together with medical glue.

They told the doctors it was a mountain biking accident. That she was thrown from her bike when she snagged on a root. That they got her to the hospital as quickly as they could, seeing as they were pretty deep on the trail. Everybody believed it. Nobody even gave it a second thought. The injuries lined up.

And it wasn’t like they would have believed the truth anyway.

Ronnie was discharged around eleven at night with a pain medication ready to be picked up at the local pharmacy by morning, instructions to take it easy for a few days, and teasing remarks about being more careful on those biking trails. She smiled and thanked everyone for their help as she left, Jake’s arm secure around her waist.

Blue River was waiting for them out in the parking lot. Gathered around their vehicles and sipping on beers that wouldn’t inebriate them in the slightest. They all perked up as the Red Sky Alpha and his new Luna approached.

Natasha was the first to meet them — an overnight bag clutched in her fist.

“Figured you might want some of your clothes,” she said as she handed the bag off to Jake.

“Thanks, Nat,” Ronnie replied with a tired smile.

She could see that her friend wanted to say more, but she kept glancing at Jake. Nervously shifting from one foot to the other under the weight of the power he put off. Ronnie gave his hip a squeeze as she looked up into his firmly set expression.

“Go wait in the truck, okay?” she suggested quietly, and at his hesitance to leave her, she reassured him with another squeeze. “I’ll be okay. Just a few minutes.”

Jake pulled away from her reluctantly with a curt nod. Then he stalked off towards his truck parked haphazardly in the spot closest to the door. Natasha instantly relaxed once he was gone.

“Does — Does this really mean you have to leave?” Natasha asked softly.

She refused to look Ronnie in the eye. Hands shoved in her back pockets. The tears caught in her dark eyes reflected in the fluorescent light of the parking lot. It felt like Ronnie’s ribs were too tight as she reached for her friend — but then retracted her hand. Natasha caught it anyway, reflexes fast as she snatched Ronnie’s fingers in her strong grip. She gave a reassuring squeeze as Ronnie took a shuddering breath.

“If I could stay, if I could keep both packs, I would. You know I would,” Ronnie replied, eyes focused on their joined hands. “But I can’t. Red Sky is my pack now.”

“I wish…I wish you would’ve told me.”

Ronnie looked up at her then, at her rosy cheeks and soft little nose, at her dark hair slicked back into a bun and that sad look in her eyes. Reasons pricked at the very tip of Ronnie’s tongue. It all happened so fast. Everyone was showing animosity towards Red Sky. The less people that knew before Bradley found out, the better. But they all died in her mouth, turned to ash, to something sour. None of that mattered. Natasha was her friend. They grew up together. They worked together. Natasha always had, and always would be, a confidant and an ally. Everything would have been so much easier with Natasha at her side, so much lighter — someone to share the load. Tears gathered at the corners of Ronnie’s eyes as she squeezed her friend’s hand tight.

“Me too.”

“I knew that something was off.” Then she laughed lightly. “I thought it was because of Bob…”

Ronnie laughed too.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything, Nat.”

The dark-haired she-wolf shook her head. “None of us made it easy, but…He’s your mate, ya know? And a really fine one at that, like, Jesus Christ.”

They both laughed now. Little chuckles accompanied by shakes of their heads as Ronnie smoothed her thumb over the back of Natasha’s hand. The tears welled up anew, her chin quivering as she looked at her friend. At her friend from this point forward she wouldn’t see nearly every single day. It was all so eerily similar to when Ronnie went off to college. They knew they would still be friends after this. Still connected. But it was going to be different from then on. Morphed into something else. Something more distant. Something more nostalgic rather than present.

“I’m really gonna miss you,” Ronnie said, voice wavering as her tears fell.

“M’gonna miss you too.”

Natasha pulled her into a tight hug, but minded her injuries. Then the friends parted, and over Natasha’s shoulder, Ronnie caught Bradley’s intense gaze from further down the parking lot. Natasha gave her hand one last squeeze before letting go of her completely.

Bradley was leaning against the back bumper of his Bronco. Arms crossed and body cleaned of the blood he had spilled. Bob and Pete stood on either side of him. His face betrayed no emotion, and that was somehow worse as Ronnie approached him. If he looked mad she could prepare for that. If he looked sad she could prepare for that too. But that neutral expression on his face, that blank stare, was nearly painful to her.

Pete met her first. She could see the tears clinging to his lashes just before he pulled her in for a hug. It felt like being hugged by her father. She clung to him tighter, buried her face in his neck as he felt his tears wet her shoulder. He pulled away, and Bob was standing behind him. The bespeckled wolf fidgeted with the edge of his flannel as he flashed her a tight smile. Ronnie smiled at him too. Knowing that Jake was watching, that he was still on edge, she reached out and patted Bob’s shoulder as she passed. Hoping that it would tell him just how grateful she was for all that he had done for her. Bob and Pete moved along, opting to talk with some of the other wolves, when Ronnie finally stood before her brother.

There could have been an entire canyon between them, not just that tiny strip of cracked concrete. An entire continent. An entire ocean. Standing face to face with Bradley now, she never felt further away. She wanted to be close to him again. Like when they were kids and adventure was just around the corner. But she didn’t know if this was a canyon that could ever be crossed. A continent that could ever be charted. An ocean that could ever be tamed.

Bradley finally broke the silence. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ronnie coughed, held up her braced wrist for a moment. “I’m okay. Just…Really tired.”

Just silence. Was this the tragedy she had been waiting for?

“Bellmoral was right you know,” he muttered, eyes focused on the way his boot scuffed against the concrete. “About keeping you on the outside…Keeping you under my control.”

She took a half step forward, longing to comfort, but unsure if she could. “Brad — “

“Don’t try n’ deny it, Ronnie. You know it’s true, too. S’just — “ He huffed, uncrossing his arms to shove his hands in his jean pockets. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, eyebrows furrowed as he searched for the words. “First it was Mom. Then Tom…And then Dad. I guess…I just didn’t want you to leave me.”

He looked up into her face then and there were tears in his eyes. Ronnie tried to swallow around the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. She felt her tears flowing freely down her cheeks, surely wetting the fresh bandages that had been put over her cuts.

“Fuck. M’sorry. For all of it,” he said.

Then she crashed into him like a head-on collision. Her arms around his middle tight as she pulled him into her. As she buried her face in his chest. As she wept openly, like sorrow and relief all at once. He was stiff beneath her touch for a moment. Only a moment. And then Bradley caved in. Released. Melted into her hold. His own thick arms wrapped around her shoulder tight, his lips pressed into her hairline. The ocean had been crossed. The continent trekked over. The canyon closed together. Somehow, he felt closer than ever before.

“You’re gonna be an amazing Luna, Ronnie Bradshaw,” he whispered to her as he continued to hold her, continued to love her. “You were born for it. Leading. Helping. More than I ever was.”

She managed to blubber out between sobs. “We’re children of wolf kings.”

It was what their father used to say at the end of pack meetings. On nights of the full moon. When he would sit them down and tell them stories about their ancestors. It was nearly a joke he said it so much. But now that he was gone, they came to some solemn understanding of the power behind it. The faith. The strength. The history.

They were children of wolf kings. Destined for crowns that neither of them thought they could bare.

Prying herself away from him, Ronnie sniffed back the snot that had clogged her nose and wiped tenderly at her cheeks — making sure to avoid her bandages. Bradley quickly swiped at his own face, looking around to make sure no one saw him. It made her smile.

“Where’re you guys gonna go?” he asked, hands back in his pockets.

“The hunting cabin,” she answered, “We sent a few wolves ahead to get it ready.”

Bradley looked at her for a moment, a smile ticking up the corner of his mustache. “You really love him?”

“I know it sounds crazy. I barely even know him.”

“God.” He shook his head as he laughed, something like realization on his face. “You really do love him.”

“I do.”

They hugged again. And then Ronnie turned away. It felt final. It felt terrifying. It felt like walking into darkness and into the unknown. What was out there? What awaited her in the shadows, around the corners, just over the hill? What was in store for her in a world without her family at her side and an entire life to start over?

But then Jake.

Jake stood beneath the yellow light of the parking lot. Hands in the pockets of his jeans as he leaned against the side of his old beat-up truck. He smiled softly at her as she approached. He was her guiding light. Her steady shore. Her foundation and her architect. It didn’t matter what waited for her as long as he was there. He would be with her through everything.

Her mate. Her Alpha. Her love.

She fell asleep on the drive and Jake carried her inside.

The a-frame cabin was small, but nice. Jake smiled as he kicked the door shut quietly behind him. The space was so incredibly Ronnie. There were maps and pictures from her world travels hanging on the walls. With no space for bookshelves with the slanted ceilings, there were tall stacks of paperbacks and hardcovers lining the wall by the couch. Candles were scattered about that had been relit — unscented because they gave her headaches.

“Where’s the bed, little one?” Jake asked as he walked further inside, noting the small hallway further back and the short set of stairs that led up to the loft.

“Upstairs,” she muttered, voice laced with sleep.

Her eyes were barely held open. She felt heavy in his arms, though his muscles didn’t strain. The only thing that kept her awake was the way Jake’s heartbeat directly into her ear.

He carried her up the steps, careful not the jostle her too much as he came up into the loft where the slope of the roof was at its peak. Mickey and Reuben had made the bed, the linens freshly washed and warm as Jake laid Ronnie down in them. He pulled the soft blankets, flannel sheets and down-filled comforter, over her as she curled up on her side. Nearly like a cat. Her long, dark hair was still a tangled mess but she didn’t seem to care. She blinked up at him slowly. A soft, on-the-edge-of-dreams smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she reached up and touched his cheek. Just the tips of her fingers, the majority of her hand covered by the thick brace. Still, Jake leaned into her touch with a grin of his own.

She hummed contentedly as Jake gently placed her hand back to rest at her side.

He pushed the few hairs that had fallen into her face out of the way, tucking them behind her ear. Never before had she felt so comfortable underneath a gaze so intense. He could look at her like that for hours and she would never feel the need to hide.

“Reuben said he left some clothes for me. I’ll be right back,” he said.

“I’ll wait for you,” Ronnie replied.

“You don’t have to — “

“I’ll wait for you,” she repeated, a bit more sternly, her eyebrows set in a way that nearly made Jake laugh.

The bed creaked as he rose from the edge and went back downstairs. Ronnie felt instantly colder without him there. Even though she was under the thick blankets and the heater hummed loudly in the background. Everything felt so heavy yet so weightless. Her eyelids slid shut despite her best efforts. Her body sunk further into the mattress; it felt like she was going to sink right through to the floor. But she was also floating. High up in the sky, above the trees, above the mountains. She was untethered as she teetered on the edge of sleep, detached, falling. Balanced on the edge of a knife.

But then the other side of the bed dipped. The covers pulled back for an instant and she shuddered at the sudden cold. But it was soon forgotten as Jake settled in behind her, pulled her back into his chest. He was so warm. She sighed deeply, some release, as she burrowed further back against him. His chuckle reverberated in her own ribcage. Jake was her anchor, her stake in the ground. Settling her in this plane of existence with a gentle grip around her waist and a soft kiss against her jaw.

Pure bliss. Sunshine incarnate. This was what it must have felt like to burn. Complete joy and complete belonging. This was where she was meant to be. Happily drowning in a golden ocean of pure warming sunlight, wrapped up in the citrus and bonfire scent of her mate. It was like looking into a grain silo on her grandmother’s farm. Mesmerized by the colors and suddenly falling in, surrounded by that earthy scent of wheat that lulled until dying didn’t sound so bad. But as she lay there, held and loved completely, she felt she was coming more alive.

“You love me?” Jake whispered into the place where her neck met her shoulder.

Ronnie, though half asleep, could hear the question bubbling like lava just beneath. You love me despite everything? You love me after what you watched me do? You love me injured and covered in blood and terrified?

“I think I always have.” She smoothed her fingers over the arm curled around her waist. “Even when I didn’t know you. I think I’ve been waiting my whole life for you.”

There was that calm confidence again. That assuredness the very foundations of the earth were made of.

“I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. Like I’ve loved you from the moment I started breathing, Ronnie.”

She smiled, a joyful noise humming in her throat, as sleep finally overcame her.

When she woke up, Ronnie wasn’t entirely sure it was morning. The sunlight streaming through the window above the bed was too bright, too powerful to be anything but brought on by midday. For a moment, she just basked in it. Too warm and too comfortable to move.

But the space beside her was empty. Cold.

As she rolled onto her back, her fingers trailed over the rustled sheets. The indent in the other pillow.

Was it all just a dream? The whole of it? Her father’s death. Going to live with Bradley while the dust settled. Finding her mate in the Alpha of Red Sky. She couldn’t decide if it was joy or sorrow that filled her heart at the possibility. To have her father back would be a joy beyond words. But to lose Jake to have him — that was a sorrow unmatched.

Then her broken bones screeched in a sudden pain that made her suck in a sharp breath. That was real. She lifted her braced hand to drape across her middle, fingers rubbing over the tough plastic in some attempt to soothe the discomfort. And if that was real — that injury, that hurt — then the rest of it was real too. It wasn’t just a dream. It was a beautiful, yet dimmed reality. Loss for gain. Her father was gone but that was okay. He might not have been around to take care of her anymore, but she had her mate now.

She had Jake now.

But where was he?

Ronnie sat up slowly, a soft noise of effort slipping from her lips as she pulled herself to sit up against the wall. Every muscle in her body felt tired, used up, and sore. It took some great effort, like Atlas willing himself to shrug with the weight of the world on his shoulders, just to get herself upright. She rubbed at the sleep that still clung to her lashes. Her tongue suddenly felt heavy and dry in her mouth, like it didn’t really belong there. Opening her mouth to flex her jaw, she looked over to Jake’s empty spot in bed again.

Where was he?

Somewhere inside, she knew he was close. He wasn’t too far.

But before she could will herself to get out from beneath the covers, Jake’s golden head of hair appeared as he came up the stairs. All the tension that had wound itself up in her shoulders suddenly relaxed at the sight of him.

His soft smile. That lock of dark blond hair that fell against his forehead. He looked comfortable. Wearing a pair of sweats and a waffle-knit long sleeve, the clothes that the pack must have brought. Ronnie was glad to see him out of the bloodied flannel he had been wearing the day before.

The smell of toast and eggs suddenly hit her and her stomach grumbled. He carried the breakfast, coffee, a glass of water, and her prescription bottle on the tray from her small dining table strictly used for decoration. But she didn’t mind in the slightest as he set the tray down in the spot he once occupied.

She opened her mouth to speak, but she could feel it. The way her throat gurgled with underuse and overuse at the same. The first noise of some greeting barely escaped before she was trying to clear her throat.

“Here,” Jake said as he snatched the glass of water from the tray.

He held it up to her lips as he sat down at the edge of the bed. She took it from him gratefully, taking a few sips to wet her throat. When she pulled the glass away, she smiled almost shyly at him.

“Hi.”

Her voice came out as a croak that made her wince.

But Jake didn’t seem to mind as he pushed her messy hair back away from her face. “Hey, little one.”

“How long was I out for?” she asked quietly, not trusting her voice to get any louder.

“About fourteen hours,” he replied as he reached over and grabbed the pill bottle from the tray. “It’s two in the afternoon.”

“Jesus — you should’ve woken me up.”

“No. You needed the rest. Still do.” He undid the cap and poured out two pills into his palm. “Take these, then I need you to eat.”

Ronnie put up no argument. Her stomach felt like it was eating itself as she eyed the eggs and toast laid out beside her. She took the pills, tongue smacking against the grainy taste they left in her mouth. Jake watched to make sure she did it before handing her the plate and a fork.

“Aren’t you gonna eat something?” she asked around a mouthful of toast.

How did he know just how she liked it? Golden brown and coated in a thick layer of butter. Classic and simple and honestly, in that moment, the best thing she had ever tasted.

“I already ate,” he replied with a smile. “Breakfast and lunch.”

She felt a heat rise in her cheeks as she took the coffee from the tray, leaving it empty. “Sorry.”

“S’okay. I didn’t mind. Got to figure you out a bit.”

“Yeah?” She sipped on the hot beverage. Black how she liked it. “What’d you figure out?”

“That you’re a huge nerd,” he said with a grin.

Ronnie made a face, but couldn’t help but smile knowingly. “I….Am. Yes. I can’t deny it. What gave me away?”

“Well, for starters, you own at least ten books on Greek mythology.” Jake got up from the bed and set the tray on the floor, taking his place beside her with a sigh as he relaxed back against the wall. “And you have the other Lord of the Rings books. No one has those except huge nerds.”

“Okay, okay, number one, sir — I have a degree in Classics and Linguistics so anything to do with Greece or Rome down there is warranted. And second…Tolkien was a master of his craft and he made a fascinating world. You should read it sometime.”

“I’m not really a reader,” he chuckled lightly.

“I’ll read it to you then.”

“I’d like that.” He smiled over at her warmly.

His presence was comforting, safe, and warm as she continued to eat. As she continued to feel like she was coming back to herself. Jake was a part of that now. A part of her that she could never reject or deny. Just as she was a part of him. She leaned into his side and it felt like a consecration. Something holy. Something divine.

But it felt like anticipation too. A string about to snap. A storm looming on the horizon. A finger hesitating over the trigger.

She could feel it in Jake most of all. As she set her empty plate on the nightstand and leaned back into his arm. He was tense. He nearly flinched away from her. Or towards her. She couldn’t tell. When she looked up into his face, his brow was pulled down in some agony, in barely there restraint.

Picking her head up off his shoulder she asked softly, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah — “

He was cut off by his own sharp intake of breath when Ronnie put her hand on his thigh. It was supposed to be a comfort, but his reaction only made her worry increase. Like a weed in a crack in the pavement. She twisted her torso to look at him completely. His eyes were screwed shut, mouth turned down in a grimace.

“Jake, are you sure?”

She turned to him further, nearly up on her knees to inspect him closer. And with her movement, her hand floated higher up his thigh. The soft whimper that tumbled from his mouth was enough to make her pause. His hand, which shook with some effort, shot out to gently take hold of her braced wrist.

His eyes slipped open and they were hazy, his blinking slow as he whispered, “Please don’t.”

Looking down at where her hand had been touching him, she expected some injury that just wouldn’t heal for reasons unknown. But she gasped softly at what she did find.

The outline of his cock, thick and heavy and hard against the fabric of his sweatpants.

Ronnie couldn’t help the way her mouth popped open at the sight. The way a sudden heat and pressure bloomed between her legs. The first few chords of the string were broken. The first drops of rain were falling. The finger was beginning to squeeze the trigger. She looked back up to his face to find Jake already looking at her, his green eyes hooded but hesitant. And now that her pain medication was kicking in and her stomach was full, only one ache remained. One that surprised her still, that throbbed somewhere deep inside her chest.

She knew what it was and knew that Jake felt it too. Felt it stronger than she ever could. Had probably been feeling it for hours while she slept.

“Jake…” She lifted her hand to his face to make him meet her eyes. “How long’ve you been like that?”

“Since I crawled into bed with you last night,” he replied, voice strained. He swallowed something thick. “I — I got up a few times to take care of it myself, but…Nothing’s worked. It just — it won’t — “

He looked guilty. His eyes downcast and his hand moving to try and cover himself up. He refused to meet her gaze, opting to burrow into the palm still resting on his cheek.

Ronnie’s grip became firm as she slowly, her body still sore and tired, pulled herself into his lap. Knees straddling his thighs. She settled down onto him with a huff, relief and effort, and Jake instantly reached out to hold her waist in a firm, yet gentle grip. Like he wanted her to stay but was prepared for her to go.

“It’s okay, my Alpha. It’s only natural,” she assured, her braced hand coming up to his other cheek as her right hand trailed down his neck and chest. “Our mate bond needs to be settled. Your body is telling you so.”

She watched the way his chest heaved with shallow breaths for air as the very tips of her fingers ghosted down his chest and stomach. Watched the muscles there jump beneath his shirt. It made her core clench in some desperate cry to be filled, her slick dampening her panties as she thought of what was to come. The ache that had once been housed in her chest now nestled between her thighs.

Jake took in a sharp breath, his fingers curling into the fabric of her sweater, tugging her closer. “Fuck — I can smell you.”

“Yeah?” she asked softly as her fingertips danced around the waistband of his sweats.

“We — I shouldn’t,” he said, even as his hips bucked up into her touch. “You’re hurt. You need rest. I should…I should be able to control myself. But…Fuck. I need you. I can’t stop thinking about it. R-Ronnie…”

His head fell back against the wall with an audible thud when her palm came in contact with his hard length. His expression looked nearly pained as she continued to feel him, working him through his sweats. He was big. Bigger than any man she ever had before, which were few and far between. For only an instant, she worried about getting all that to fit inside her. About him splitting her open. Then she felt the muscles in his legs spasm and flex beneath her, one knee rose — forcing her to slide further down his lap.

Her cunt, now burning with desire, nudged against his length and she gasped. All her worries were forgotten, replaced by her need to be filled by him. She was made just for him, designed and knit together in the most intimate way. Chest falling against his own, her hand moved to support herself against his shoulder. She nuzzled his cheek with her nose, a hum reverberating in her throat as his hands slid up the length of her back beneath her sweater. His breaths hot and heavy against her ear.

“You can smell it — how much I need you too?” she asked and Jake nodded. She pressed her fingers to the center of his chest, just below his sternum. “Can you feel it, right here?”

“Yes,” he breathed, tugging her closer, pushing her hips down against his own. “It hurts. I can’t…”

Ronnie kissed his cheek again, pulling him into her with a furrowed brow. She shushed him as he whined softly, his legs spasming beneath her again as she rolled her hips against the erection that had been paining him for hours. Having to bite back her own moan at the way the tip caught against her clit.

“I know, I know it hurts. But I want you. Want you to claim me as your Luna.” She drew close, her lips brushing the shell of his ear. “Make me yours. Completely.”

She tried to drag her clothed cunt against him again but he stopped her with a firm grip on her waist, mindful of the injury on her hip that she had long forgotten about.

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” he confessed, green eyes roving her face for any semblance of hesitance.

Ronnie pulled back to look him in the eye. Tone laced with that calm confidence that world leaders would envy.

“You could never hurt me.”

Jake was on her in the next instant. His kiss hungry and bordering on desperate as his fingers tangled into her hair. It was like he was trying to drink from her very soul as he nudged her to lay back on the bed, lifting her effortlessly and gently. He slotted himself between her spread legs, urging her to wrap them around his waist with a broad palm on her thigh. Ronnie obliged him happily, heels digging into his ass to get him to move against where her cunt throbbed in time with her heart.

Hands sliding over the back of his neck and into his hair, she made some noise of apology around his tongue in her mouth when her plastic brace knocked against his skull. Jake pulled away from her to laugh, breathless and shoulders shaking as his face fell into the spot where her neck met her shoulder.

“I hate this thing already,” Ronnie grumbled, displaying her left hand briefly before letting it flop back against the bed beside her head. “I wanna touch you.”

“You are touching me,” he replied, his eyes fluttering shut at the way her fingers traced over his bottom lip.

“Wanna touch all of you. Hard to do with one good hand.”

Jake groaned as he surged into her again, like water on rock — his kiss powerful but gentle as he explored her mouth with his tongue. Despite just how hot and hard he felt against her, he still tugged at the hem of her shirt. Fingers dancing around the edge of the fabric with a kind of respect that left her breathless as he pulled away to mouth at her neck.

“Please?” he asked quietly against her pulse.

“Yes, yes.” She couldn’t say it fast enough. “I’m all yours, my Alpha.”

Sitting up on his knees, he pulled her sweater up and over her head slowly. Like he was unwrapping something preciously fragile. They struggled to get her sleeve off around her brace and it made them laugh. But the chuckle died in Jake’s throat once he took in the sight of her. Laid out beneath him, having chosen to take off her bra sometime the night before, in nothing but those little shorts. Her nipples pebbled once exposed to the cooler air of the cabin. Her chest heaved beneath his intense gaze, but she didn’t feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. If anything, his attention empowered her as her hips rolled to relieve the ache in her cunt.

His calloused fingers trailed over her pale skin, between the valley of her breasts and down her stomach where the muscles twitched in anticipation. She gasped as the hairs on her arms stood on end, as her flesh pimpled beneath his ghostly touch. His eyes bled with the power he fought so hard for as he watched her body react to him.

“Your skin’s like moonlight,” he mumbled.

Then he reached behind his back and tugged his own shirt off, discarding it somewhere in the small room. Jake was thick and broad. Body carved by years and years of hard work. His chest and stomach were muscled, covered in a thick layer of hair that only made him more inviting. Made him look soft despite all that power. Ronnie bit down on her lip as her eyes trailed over him, taking in the way his hips started a V that disappeared into his sweats.

It felt like her heart swelled to a few sizes too big. It was surely about to burst out of her chest, snap into Jake’s waiting hand. She wanted to say something back. Tell him his skin was warm as the sun and his eyes reminded her of the Spring grain fields she saw in Italy. But the words never made it to her tongue. They were morphed, twisted, until they came out of her mouth in nothing but a moan as Jake kissed her collarbones.

His tongue and his lips laved down the slope of her chest. While his warm palm enveloped one breast, his mouth latched onto the other. Ronnie arched into his touch with a gasp, fingers of her uninjured hand tangling in the strands of his hair. His tongue swirled around her nipple, sucked on the tender flesh until he released it with a soft pop. Ronnie jerked beneath him, hips working in some effort to feel anything against where she needed him most.

“Mm, J-Jake?” she asked, a soft whimper quickly following as he dragged the attention of his mouth to her other breast.

He hummed against her heated flesh, sounding completely content.

“I need — mnh — I need you to touch me. God, please.”

She felt his smirk against the swell of her breast, heard it in the way he whispered, “I am touching you.”

“Touch all of me,” she replied and Jake groaned, loud and deep directly into her sternum.

“God, I want to. All the time.” He rose back up to his knees, leaving her a panting, wreathing mess beneath him. “Wanna do this right — wanna make you feel good, sweet girl.”

Ronnie whimpered at the nickname, at everything. She heard rumors and read tales about Alphas claiming their Lunas in the most brutal of fashions. Archaic and animalistic. But Jake was putting her pleasure first, even if it hurt him. She could see, as he tugged her shorts down her legs — past her bruised knees — that a wet spot was forming in the crotch of his pants. He was achingly hard, and kept that way by his instinct to fill her. It wouldn’t have surprised her if he took what he wanted with promises of making it up to her later. But that wasn’t Jake. That wasn’t who he was.

He was the kind of Alpha that risked his own life to save his pack. That kept his distance when she asked it of him, even though it pained him. That took the smallest room. That respected her enough and cared for her enough to wait until she was ready.

A high-pitched kind of sigh slipped past her lips as he pulled her shorts and underwear off in one go. Jake’s eyes now shown red as rubies as he drank in the sight of her, hands moving up her calves and into the crooks of her knees to prop them up — spread her open for him. He growled, eyes caught on the apex of her thighs. At her glistening cunt, at the dark thatch of curls that framed her.

She squirmed beneath his gaze now, every sense heightened and attuned to the near-desperate need that filled her. Trying to press her thighs together in search of some friction, some relief, Jake’s knelt form sat in the way. Keeping her from that balm. She whined softly, her cunt clenching around nothing at the way he watched her.

Reaching out to him in some attempt to keep her own fingers from slipping between her folds, she called, “My Alpha…Come here.”

He grinned as he lay back over her, forearms keeping him propped up as he kissed her sweet and slow. Gone was the hurried desperation, replaced by nothing but that strong love and longing that had been building upon itself for weeks. One of Jake’s hands slipped down her form, over her soft and bruised skin. Until finally the very tips of his fingers ghosted through the dark curls at the joining of her thighs.

His hand dipped into her cunt and she grunted at the sudden attention, sudden relief, sudden white-hot pleasure.

“Fuck, you’re dripping,” Jake muttered breathlessly, thick digits exploring as he teased at her entrance.

“J-Just for you,” she replied, hands latched onto his shoulders, his grin pressed into the side of her neck.

His fingers passed over her clit and she gasped, hips rocking, trying to get him to touch it again. He moved back over the correct spot and pressed in, her head pushing back into the comforter as she clawed into his back. How could it possibly feel this good and he had barely even touched her?

“There?” he asked against the line of her jaw before kissing feather-light at the burning hot flesh.

“Yes — there.”

Jake hummed as he began to circle her clit, rubbing slow and sweet in a way that made her lungs burn. That made her hands scramble for purchase. That made her back arch despite the dull pain that coursed through her at the action. But, of course, he sensed it — in that spot hidden deep within his chest. He pressed down with more of his weight, keeping her from straining herself. She wanted to say thank you, but all that came out was a wail as he added just a bit more pressure.

“Sound so sweet, little one.” He inhaled slowly at her pulse point, hips rutting against her thigh. “Smells so good.”

“W-What do I — smell like?” she managed to stutter out.

“Like lavender…And old book pages,” he replied, lips moving down the column of her neck, beard scratching at her skin. “Second one makes more sense now.”

She chuckled breathlessly, head spinning with pleasure as he increased the speed of his fingers. A quiet whine escaped her as he pulled his attention away from that little bundle of nerves, but it was short lived as the heel of his hand pressed down into it. Two of his digits instead focused on her entrance.

“Oh.”

The sound echoed around the room before she even realized.

Jake pulled back to look into her face, all movements stopped save for the gentle nudge of his palm against her clit. “Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. It’s just…” Her braced hand lifted to cup his jaw as best she could. “It’s been a long time, for me.”

A heat rose in her cheeks as he smiled gently down at her. Red eyes of the Alpha so soft just for her. He kissed her once, twice, then pulled away to nuzzle her cheek.

“I’ll go slow,” he said, then his hips jerked against her leg. “Need you good and ready for me.”

Ronnie whimpered softly as he slowly sunk two fingers into her, nails digging into his biceps, sure to leave crescent moons in her wake that would fade before she got the chance to see them. He just rested there for a moment, let her adjust. Then he curled his fingers up experimentally and the sound she let out was something primal, something she had never heard herself make before. It made Jake groan, teeth clenched, as he began to pump his fingers in and out of her. Stretching her out with his palm grinding against her clit.

Her fingers tangled in his hair and pulled, guiding him up to kiss his swollen lips. They breathed into each other as her hips rocked into his hand, her eyes barely able to stay open against the mounting pleasure. He curled his fingers up against her walls and with each breath, she was spilling some noise to him like treasured secrets.

Her release was building in the deepest pit of her gut, hot and heavy and begging to be poured out. Her cup nearly filled to the brim. It was a feeling she never wanted to leave but so desperately wanted to take over the edge.

“Jake…” she managed to pant out as some warning.

“Can feel it, little one — squeezing my fingers so tight. Think you can take another?”

She sobbed something frustrated as he retracted his hand, but all of it was smothered into whimpers when she felt the tips of three of his thick digits prod at her entrance. Jake pushed back in slow, moving onto his knees between her legs so he could hold her down with his palm flat against her stomach. Keeping her from taking too much at once. Her walls spasmed around his fingers once he was down to the third knuckle, his thumb pressed into her clit and rubbing tight circles that eased the ache. Ronnie’s chest heaved, the stretch delicious as her hands fisted the sheets until her knuckles turned white.

She cried, nearly a scream, when he flexed his hand. Head thrown back to expose her pale neck and eyes screwed shut. She felt so full, but she knew it wasn’t full enough. It wasn’t him. Jake moaned at the sight.

“Fuck, little one — you look so good like this,” he breathed, flexing his fingers again and watching as she mewled.

“Please, move, Jake — please, so close,” Ronnie babbled, rolling her hips as much as she could under his strong hold.

He began to pump his fingers, never fully leaving her cunt as he curled them against some spot inside her she was never able to reach. She cried out as she was brought right back to that edge, as her cup threatened to overflow, as her pleasure became intense and burning hot inside her.

“That’s it, sweet girl, that’s it,” Jake panted as he removed his hand from her belly, letting her ride his fingers at her own quickening pace. “Feel so good already — can’t wait to be inside this pussy. Claim you as mine. Have me dripping out of you.”

Her cup spilled over. Wrenched from her with a scream and her back arched and her walls around his fingers like a vice — sucking him back in as he worked her through it. It made something like a sob get caught in her chest as she blinked up at the ceiling, trying to come back down from an impossible high. Her bones went limp, tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. But Jake kept going, kept curling and pushing. He had slowed down to prolong her pleasure, but he was quickly getting back to that brutal pace.

“W-Wait,” she whined, already feeling herself teetering on the precipice.

“Just one more, gimme one more.”

A feeble sound of protest slipped from her parted lips as she burrowed her face into the wrinkled blankets. But she made no move to stop him as he leaned back over her, lips and tongue hot and heavy against her neck. The muscles in her thighs twitched in time with the press of his palm against her clit.

She came with a soft cry, a moan directly in Jake’s ear, though it was just as intense. Just as brutal. Just as overwhelming. And when it all became too much, she grabbed weakly at his forearm and tugged. He obliged her, pulling his thick digits from her dripping core. Ronnie whimpered at the sudden emptiness. Eyes unable to focus as she gazed up at the wood of her slanted ceiling.

But then Jake took over her field of vision and she smiled. His hair was messed, dangling over his forehead from all her pulling. There was sweat on his brow and his lips were swollen and pink. He looked beautiful. Otherworldly. A true Alpha.

Her fingertips reached and traced the line of his beard across his cheek. Jake’s eyes slipped shut at the gentle, barely there touch.

“Hi,” she whispered.

He chuckled lightly as he pressed his forehead into her own. “Hey, little one. D’you feel okay? Do we need to stop?”

“I feel more than okay,” Ronnie replied, fingers threading through the hairs on his chest. “And if you stop now I might cry.”

“Thank, God,” he laughed, relieved.

A sudden thought occurred to her.

“You should know — I have an IUD,” Ronnie said, hooking her legs around his waist in some subconscious effort to keep him as close as possible. “But, I’ll…I’ll make an appointment to get it removed as soon as possible.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want — “

“I want to. God, I want to,” she insisted, pushing her forehead harder against his own. “Wanna be full of you, my Alpha.”

Jake growled. His hand, still wet with her juices, trailed down her front to ghost over her stomach. His cock twitched against her thigh. No doubt thinking about putting a pup inside her. And she wanted it. She wanted it more than anything. It was what she was made for, chosen for. To give him all the pups he could ever desire, to make his pack stronger, to pass his legacy and power on to. She longed to be full and swollen with him, with her Alpha, with his seed.

But all of that would have to wait for now.

“Ronnie,” Jake whispered into her neck as he drove his hips into her own, his still-clothed length brushing against her.

She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. His eyes, red as rubies, were hooded with desire, but reluctant. She pecked him on the lips once, twice, before nodding against his forehead.

“I’m ready. Make me yours.”

Jake nodded back before jumping up from the bed and ridding himself of his sweats, revealing himself fully to Ronnie who still lay blissed out in the center of the bed. He looked like the muse of an ancient Grecian sculptor. All that muscle, that perfect V pointing down to his cock, erect and perfect. All held up by strong, thick legs. He was golden and hairy and all her’s and the thought of it made her smile.

Crawling back into the bed between her legs, Jake grabbed his shaft and aligned himself with her entrance. The moment his tip stroked her folds, Ronnie gasped, unable to tear her eyes away from his face. Overwhelmed tears began to prick at the corners of her brown eyes as he positioned himself at the base of her core. Then he began to push inward. At first, it felt good, her mouth dropping open and eyes rolling to the back of her head. Then there was an acute and peculiar pain as she widened for the head. But all she did was grimace through the discomfort. She was made for this. It would only last a few minutes. It was the pleasure she would remember, it was Jake’s nearly pained face as he used every fiber of his control, it was the way she heard the sheets ripping beneath his clenched fists, it was the way everything felt like Jake and it felt like home.

He paused halfway inside her, breathing heavily as he bumped his head softly against her own.

“Alright?” he asked gently.

Ronnie nodded, afraid what sound would come out of her if she did open her mouth. But a whimper fell from her lips as he continued to push forward. Oh, God, there’s more? Jake immediately stopped again. Eyebrows pinched in concern.

“Don’t stop,” she croaked, taking a few calming breaths. “I can take it.”

Jake nodded before he finished out his thrust, slowly, both of their breaths ragged. But he stilled once he bottomed out inside her. Ronnie continued to breathe deeply, head tilted back as she adjusted to his size. She felt stretched to the limit, filled to the brim. It was everything she ever wanted and too much and never enough. The overwhelmed tears that had been building in her eyes finally fell. But Jake wiped them away with ease.

One hand releasing from his arms, Ronnie swiped her hand between their bodies — fingers brushing over her sternum and abdomen. Until she found what she was looking for.

The lowest part of her belly bulged around him. It made her moan as she pushed down on it gently.

“Oh — fuck,” Jake hissed as he spasmed on top of her, fist pounding into the mattress.

“My Alpha,” she whispered. “Feel so full.”

“F-Feel so good, little one, so tight. Shit. Could — Could come just like this,” he babbled, mindless, lost in the feeling of her. It made her smile. “Can I move? Unh, please?”

Ronnie nodded as she moved her hips slightly. “Please.”

He pulled out only the tiniest bit before grinding his hips back into hers. She made some noise like she’d just been punched in the gut. It felt like he was holding her heart in his hand, squeezing it to the point of bursting. She could barely breathe. He kept his thrusts slow and deliberate, not wanting to hurt her or go too fast.

“Jake,” she sighed as a heat bloomed through her veins, like the light from a freshly born star — white hot and spreading.

“Feel good?” he asked, voice strained.

Her hands on his shoulders, she could feel the tension there. The restraint. He was holding himself back. Holding back the beast inside him that longed to take what was his. Just for her. For her pleasure. For her pain. She put her hand on the back of his neck and forced him to meet her gaze — meeting him thrust for thrust.

“Let go,” she told him softly, reverently, “Jake, claim me.”

He stared down at her for only a moment. Searching for any hesitence. Any uncertainty. But she knew he would find none as she kissed him soundly.

With a growl, he pulled nearly completely out of her, then slammed back in. The moan she released ripped from somewhere deep inside her. Ronnie brought him down to her for a teeth-filled kiss, sloppy and desperate and noises captured in one another’s throats. The now rough snap of his hips sent her rocking back into the mattress. Ronnie clawed at his back, moaning into his mouth, as she resisted the urge to close her eyes against the mounting pleasure. At just how good he felt as he pounded into her. She wanted to see every expression that passed over his face, every noise that came out of his mouth.

She felt him twitch inside her as he bared his teeth, revealing his sharp fangs that she could never fear. Then he scraped them against the side of her neck, marking her as his and his only. His scent bloomed around her, citrus and bonfires, overwhelming her every sense. Made her dizzy as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

A cry tumbled from her lips, wanton and echoing, as she came around him. As her entire being became electric, a live wire, a roaring flame prepared to burn the world down. Jake’s thrusts became sloppy and rough, stunted as he roared — spilling his seed and coating her walls with it. He gave a few more short rolls of his hips, letting her milk him for all that he was worth.

She smiled as she ran her fingers through his sweaty hair, as she relished the feeling of being his. In every sense of the word. Marked and stretched and claimed and filled with Jake. Her Alpha. His Luna.

Ronnie’s eyes opened wide, however, when she realized he was still hard inside her. He hadn’t gone soft at all.

“Shit, R-Ronnie…” Jake whimpered as he propped himself up further, looking down at the point where their bodies met with a furrowed brow. “It’s not — it won’t — “

She groaned as he started moving again. Her cunt so sensitive after just coming. She could feel his spend leaking out of her and onto the sheets. Jake planted his knees and drew her up into his chest, her legs wrapped around his hips. She choked at the change in angle which somehow drove him deeper inside of her — making him hit something that made her forget everything except his name.

“Jake,” she gasped softly as she tangled her arms around his shoulders, pulled him as close as she could get him.

“I can’t stop,” he replied, his hold on her hips tight as he thrusted up into her at a brutal pace. “Feels too — too good…”

“Jake,” she whimpered again.

Ronnie came sudden and sharp and powerful. Another cry dead in her throat, turned into a choked moan that barely slipped past her lips as she buried her face in her mate’s neck. Then he filled her again with a soft oomf — one arm bracing her lower back as he fell forward onto his hand. Shoulders curled around her as he buried his face in her hair.

He laid her back down on the bed completely, untucking her legs from around his waist and pulling out with a pained sound. All Ronnie could do was grunt at the loss. She now felt so empty without him. But she also felt so incredibly tired. So incredibly happy. So incredibly home.

Something warm was pressed against her aching core and she hummed appreciatively. Then she was lifted, set back down where the pillows were beneath her head.

“Rest, my little Luna,” Jake whispered to her as he pulled the covers over her naked form.

“Wake me up if you need me,” she muttered back, eyes already closed and thoughts already drifting between awakeness and dreams.

He chuckled. “You’d be awake forever if I did that. You’d go insane.”

“What a wonderful insanity it would be, though,” she sighed.

And then she was asleep.

“God, the fire really did a number on this place, huh?” Ronnie asked as she compared the photo Jake had handed her and the structure standing before her now.

In the photo, the log cabin was beautiful. Made by Jake’s own two hands. Months, maybe even years of hard work. There was a front deck. Green tile roof. A chimney made of stone. She could just make out carvings in the stair posts. There was even a pair of rocking chairs sitting out on the deck. She had to wonder if he made those himself too. He probably did.

But what laid before her now was nothing but a foundation, the chimney covered in scorch marks, and the still remaining pieces of the framework. The rest was all reduced to a black and grey heap.

Jake heaved a heavy sigh, hand carding through his hair, as he looked at the place. At what remained of the home he built.

Then he said, around yet another sigh, “Yeah.”

Ronnie slipped the photo into her back pocket before wrapping him up in a hug. He threw his arm around her shoulder, wide palm rubbing up and down the fabric of the flannel covering her arm.

“Just think, we get to build this one together this time,” she said as she continued to look at the frankly pitiful remnants.

But she could see the potential. What they could build together. The new deck with the new rocking chairs. The beautiful kitchen where she could cook hearty meals. The living room where the pack could feel at home. The bedrooms filled with the sounds of children. She leaned into him further as she grinned.

Looking down at her, Jake smiled. “I like the sound of that.”

“I’m only gonna do it though if you let me use the power tools.”

“I’m not gonna let you use the power tools.” He shook his head.

“Oh, come on, please?” she whined, squeezing him just a little tighter.

“Just once,” he relented, and she cheered.

The rest of the pack pulled up the long gravel driveway. Each of them ready to work. They hopped out of the bed of Frank’s truck with toolbelts and buckets and trashbags ready to haul the ash away. To make the place ready for the rebuild.

It was a symbol of a fresh start for all of them. For Ronnie. For Jake. For Red Sky. Gone were the things that held them down, that haunted them, that held them back. They were free. Free to move forward, free to forge their own path, free to grow and soar and be. Together. As a pack. As a family.

“Let’s get to work.”

werewolf!topgun taglist: @blue-aconite @darkestbeforethedawn16 @supernaturaldawning @illisius @hope-love-equality2 @wanderingdetectives @sqrlgrl22 @dempy @theforevermorereject @the-untamed-soul @emandems10 @xxshea-barnesxx @piceous21 @sopheeg @ollyoxenfrees @luckyladycreator2 @newlibrary @himbos-on-ice @gigisimsonmars @agentminnesota187 @indynerdgirl @mellark-studio @smoothdogsgirl @kkrenae @laracrofted @mayhem24-7forever @abaker74

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 2 months

Text

Never Say Never

Chapter 11

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 9.4K

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Three hours later found you sitting in the passenger seat of Steve’s car, wondering if doing this together was a good idea. After you managed to get some actual baking done, your counter littered with trays of sweet treats, you'd realized what time it was. Steve announced that the two of you should go get the kids. Like this was a normal occurrence, the two of you picking up your children from school together. Like you wouldn’t be making some epic statement to the world when you exited the same car at Hawkins Elementary.

What would Eli think when he came out of school to find both you and Steve waiting for him? How would he feel riding home from school in Steve’s car? Who were you kidding? Your son would be ecstatic. He’d get to spend more time with Jeremiah, which was always a good thing in his book. And wasn’t this exactly what the boys had been pushing for? The two of you together?

Were you together? It should be obvious after what had gone down in your kitchen. But was it? It was fairly obvious to you that Steve had been around the block a few times. From the way he and his friends talked he was no stranger to relationships. Did sex mean anything more to him than just a good time? Did you want it to mean more? As much as you liked him, what in the hell had you just gotten yourself into? It felt like you'd just bypassed far too many steps and were stumbling into what could be dangerous territory. Shouldn’t there have been some conversation about what you were to each other, declarations of love or something before you got all carnal with each other?

You had no idea. You were really bad at this. You and Justin hadn’t slept together until the night he’d told you he loved you and you'd said it back. There had only been three guys prior to him and only one of them had been a one night stand, a drunken mistake your freshman year of college. Was that what this had been? A one night stand? Or, actually, a one morning stand since it hadn’t even been noon when it began? Or was Steve thinking you were now officially a couple? Jesus, you needed to talk about it but this would be a really bad time now. You couldn’t have this discussion with the kids around.

Why hadn’t you said anything in the kitchen? It wasn’t like the two of you had been silent. You'd talked as you baked but it was all meaningless stuff. Steve filled you in on the new project his company was working on. You told him about the helicopter mom that had been in the office yesterday, standing over your shoulder as you'd administered vaccinations. He’d been touchy, kissing the back of your neck as he transferred baked goods to the oven for you or placing his hands on your hips, watching over your shoulder as you tried to show him how to properly measure ingredients. The guy had no idea what he was doing. He was used to seasoning to his heart’s content. You had to explain that baking was like chemistry. It had to be exact. But not once had either of you addressed what had just happened or what it meant.

“Anyway, you don’t have to if you don’t want to but I know Jere would love it. And I would love it too but I don’t want to put too much pressure on you. I know this thing has just started, really.”

This thing? What thing? The two of you? Was it a thing? Were you the thing? Had it started? And what did that mean? Was he your boyfriend now? And what had he even been saying? Were you having the exact conversation you were thinking about and you were missing it? Your inner monologue had just interrupted him and now you had no idea what Steve was asking you.

“I am so sorry. I kind of missed all of that. I was stuck in my head. What were you asking me?”

“We’re having Jere’s birthday party next weekend. It’s at my ex’s place. It will basically be all the people you met at my house plus my ex, her husband, and her parents. Anyway, Jere really wanted Eli to come so I promised I would ask. Nance and Jonathan hired some guy that dresses up like Batman so he knows he’s coming and he said Eli would be so mad at him if he didn’t get to meet Batman too.”

“Your ex’s house?” you asked, that one detail the only thing you could focus on out of everything he’d just said.

You'd gone on one date, somehow bypassed the appropriate amount of time before sleeping together considering he’d just ravished you on your damn kitchen counter, and now he wanted you to meet his ex-wife? To be introduced as his…what? His son’s friend’s mom? His friend? His girlfriend? What was happening right now?

Your fingers wrapped around the handle of the car door, squeezing tightly. Inhale. Exhale. You were not about to have an anxiety attack in his car. You were not going to do this right now. You had control of yourself and your body. This was insane. Why couldn’t you just respond to stress like most people? Why did the slightest things always set you off? You hated it. You hated that you couldn’t just handle the normal ups and downs of life anymore.

“Yeah. Look, I know it sounds weird but I promise you it won’t be. Nance is great and she’s dying to meet you.”

“Dying to meet me?”

“Yeah. I mean, Jere told her about you so she asked and then I told her about us going out.”

That explained it. The ex wanted to size up the new woman who was in his life, the new woman who was in her son’s life. You couldn’t blame her for that. If you were in her shoes, you would probably feel the same way. You'd want to know who was hanging around your son. Maybe she thought this was all too fast. Maybe she was pissed because he hadn’t talked to her about it first. Maybe you should have met her beforehand?

But how could you have? This all began because you were trying to set up a playdate for your son, not one for yourself. You'd had no intentions of dating Steve, not at first. It just kind of happened. There was no way to go about this the proper way when it hadn’t been planned. But was she going to hate you? To see you as some woman who was sneaking in behind her back and trying to take her place?

“Look, you don’t have to come if it makes you uncomfortable. I knew it would be a hard ask. But if you don’t mind, I can always pick up Eli and take him myself. Jere would be shattered if his best friend wasn’t there.”

“No. Uh…I’ll go,” you stammered, swallowing down the tension that was filling your throat, choking you slowly. Why were you agreeing to this? Because you just couldn’t say no to that face, those hazel eyes, golden in the afternoon light that were looking at you with so much hope.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” You turned your head toward him, offering up the best smile you could muster. You might live to regret it but it would make your son happy and Steve really seemed to want you there. “Eli will be so excited.”

“Great. It’s at three. I would offer to pick you up but I told her I would help with setting up. You know, him being my kid too and all. I’ll give you her address.”

“Great.”

Steve pulled into the school parking lot, sliding into a space. You stepped out and walked to the front of the car, waiting for him to join you. You were pleasantly surprised when he took your hand in his as if it was just something you did, the two of you making your way up to school. He wanted you to come to his son’s birthday party and he was showing a display of affection in front of everyone at school. Maybe this was more than just hooking up. Maybe the two of you were a thing now. Your stomach both fluttered with joy and rolled with nerves at the thought.

You could feel the eyes following you and could practically hear the whispers that would be flying around like wildfire at the sight of the two of you. Not only showing up at parent pick-up together but holding hands. Whatever. It didn’t matter really. The rumor mill had already started churning from the moment you had left the baseball game together so let them talk. At least now what they were saying was actually true.

The doors swung open, kindergarten releasing first followed by first grade. Little feet racing across the concrete into waiting arms, squeals of joy that the school day was over and they were going home to bike rides and basketball hoops in backyards. You caught sight of your son, right next to Jeremiah, where he always was, the two boys talking and laughing. His eyes fell on you, moved over to Steve, and then went directly down to where your hands were clasped. Him and Jeremiah shared a wide-eyed look and then they both yelled out loud, fists pumping in the air.

“I think they’re happy. What do you think?” questioned Steve with a grin.

You laughed, “I would definitely say they’re happy.”

The boys ran over to you, both yelling, talking so fast it was difficult to catch what they were saying. They kept it up the whole walk back to the car, barely waiting for the car to start before questioning their parents.

“So are you guys like boyfriend and girlfriend now?” asked Jeremiah, leaning between you.

“Put your seatbelt on,” Steve stated.

“But are you?” he asked again, sitting back and buckling in.

“Yeah. Are we all going to live together now?” piped in Eli.

“Oh, that would be so cool! Are you getting married?”

“Do I call you daddy?”

It was happening again. You sunk down into your seat, eyes focusing on the numbers on the clock, the pine tree shaped air freshener hanging from the mirror, the sunglasses clipped on the visor above Steve’s head. You closed your eyes. Sounds…you couldn’t focus on sounds, nothing could be heard over the myriad of questions the boys were spewing out in the back.

Then a warm pressure landed on your knee. Fingers pressing into the jean material, centering you, keeping you still while inside you felt like you were losing control. You inhaled through your nose, exhaled through your mouth, focusing on Steve’s fingers, the warmth and pressure, the comfort it provided.

“You good?” he asked when you slowly opened your eyes and you nodded. You were. Somehow you were. “Alright. Let’s calm down a bit, okay? Eli's mom and I are just getting to know each other. We like each other and we would like to spend more time together and keep doing that. But no one is moving in anytime soon and no one is getting married anytime soon. Okay?”

His eyes darted to the rearview mirror and both boys nodded. He squeezed your knee again reassuringly.

“But we might be spending even more time together than we have been. Would that be okay?”

“Yeah!” both kids yelled enthusiastically.

“Alright. How about we start with tonight? I need to help your mom box up all the goodies we baked today for the school carnival on Saturday. How about after we’re done with that we go to the diner to grab some burgers and then we can come back and play some games, all four of us? Sound good?”

“Can I get a milkshake too?” asked Jeremiah.

“Oh yeah. What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Let’s both say it on three!”

“Okay,” Eli agreed as both boys turned to each other, counting before exclaiming at the same time, “Strawberry!”

Steve chuckled, turning those beautiful eyes on you, “That okay with you?”

“Yeah,” you replied, pressing your lips together. “That would be nice.”

“Good because I’m not ready to stop looking at this face yet.” He winked and your heart stuttered.

___________________________________________________________

“Rita, can you schedule Tyler for a follow-up in two weeks?” you inquired as you walked Tyler and his mom to the front, turning to the mother. “Dr. Wilson just wants to make sure it’s a respiratory infection and not asthma. He’ll listen to his lungs again to make sure they’re clear after using the breathing treatments and corticosteroids. As long as everything sounds clear, then he should be all set.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Of course.” Leaning forward, you ruffled the six year old’s hair. “We’ll have you back out on the soccer field in no time. Just make sure you take it easy for a couple weeks, okay?”

“Okay,” he grumbled.

You smirked, amused, because you knew if it were Eli he’d be the same way. There was nothing worse than trying to keep a little kid from being active. Your son would be devastated if he found out he couldn’t play baseball or run around at recess or don his cape and race around the backyard for a couple weeks.

Kids. They just didn’t understand. You would give anything for someone to order you to take it easy for a couple weeks. You'd catch up on the books that were piled in your bedroom, the ones you couldn’t seem to stop buying but never seemed to get to. You'd watch all the movies that you hadn’t had time to go see in the theater. You'd take long bubble baths and afternoon naps.

But barring some crazy illness, that was not in the cards for you. And you couldn’t afford a crazy illness, certainly not one that would knock you down for a couple weeks. Not with the school carnival tomorrow, Eli’s game on Sunday, and the impending promise of your parents showing up for a visit.

Your eyes wandered over the appointment list, seeing that you didn’t have another patient for an hour but your mind was anywhere but. Your mind had been anywhere but where it should have been all day. You should have been focusing on test results, examinations, immunizations, medical histories, and charting. Instead it somehow kept finding its way back to your kitchen yesterday afternoon.

What in the hell had you been thinking? That was precisely the problem. You hadn’t been thinking. Your brain had completely shut off and your body had taken over. You were like some teenage girl completely controlled by your hormones and your urges. He’d just looked so damn good and then he was kissing you and he was all you could think about, the only thing you could feel. And you'd wanted more.

Right now, standing here, in the middle of the office, you wanted more. You wanted to get in your car, drive to his home, and have a repeat performance. It might have been a mistake but damn if it wasn’t one that would be worth repeating, if for no other reason than you were damn near positive that you would never feel like that again with anyone else. What was even more terrifying was that you didn’t want to. He was all you could think about and feeling this intensely this quickly was unsettling because it would make losing him all that much harder if it happened.

Was it Steve? Was he just that amazing at sex? His fingers and tongue had done things to you that made you forget your own name. He was definitely skilled. But was it as simple as that? Was it the combination of the two of you? It sure as hell felt so. It felt like you just fit, like his body had been carved to mold perfectly against yours, all your curves and edges lining up.

“Hey girl!”

You shrieked, jumping about a foot in the air, your arm lashing out and knocking a cup of pens off the counter and onto the floor. Grumbling, you bent down to grab them, glancing up to find Janice grinning at you, eyes wide.

“Sorry. What’s got you so jumpy?”

“Nothing. I…it’s nothing,” you muttered, setting the cup down, plopping the pens back inside. “What are you doing here?”

“I brought lunch,” your friend stated, holding up a brown paper bag and a cup holder with two coffees. “June made us two of her phenomenal turkey and pesto sandwiches on sourdough.”

“Okay…” you said, the word dragging out suspiciously. “And why exactly did you bring me lunch?”

“Does a bestie have to have a reason to do something nice for her favorite person on the planet? Also, do I have to have a reason to want to have lunch with you?”

“I guess not.”

“So, are you free?”

“Yeah, actually. I just looked and my next patient isn’t scheduled for another hour.”

“Did you want to head to your little spot by the pond?”

“Sure.”

You followed Janice, who bounced on the balls of her feet, only furthering your suspicions that this wasn’t just her wanting to have lunch with her best friend. The girl definitely had an agenda and whatever it was, she was pretty anxious about it if the bounce in her step was any indication. She bopped over to the bench, you joining her, as she pulled out two sandwiches wrapped in brown paper, offering one to you.

“Thank you,” you said, taking a long drink of your iced coffee. “I needed this pick-me-up today. My morning caffeine hit is quickly wearing off.” Unwrapping your sandwich, you took a bite. “God, this is so good. I didn’t even realize how hungry I was until now.” You both ate in silence for a couple minutes, the only sound little groans of pleasure. June’s talent did not stop at a good cup of coffee. She knew how to make one perfect sandwich as well. “So what? Just needed a little break in your day?”

“Not exactly…” Janice began, pressing her lips together. She looked up at you, her lips pressed together in a nervous smile. “I’m pregnant.”

“What!?” Your arms flew out, the last few bits of the bread scattering off of your lap. Oh well. The ducks would definitely enjoy it. “Are you serious? When? How long have you known?”

“About two hours,” she said, mouth tight. “I just took the test this morning after Matt left for work.”

“What? Does he know?”

“No. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Janice…oh my god! I’m so…I’m so happy for you!” You pulled your friend into a hug, joy feeling like a balloon, filling you up until you could absolutely burst with it. “But, you told me first? I mean, you are planning on telling him, right?”

“Yes. I am. But I was just so nervous. I’ve been feeling a little nauseous and at first I just thought I’d caught a bug. But then I realized my period was a week late and it’s so early. I know it is. I probably shouldn’t have even told you because the chances of something going wrong are so drastically high right now…”

“Nothing is going to go wrong,” you assured her.

“You can’t promise that.”

“No. I guess I can’t and maybe you wait until the second trimester to announce it to the world but you can’t wait that long to tell your husband. Matt is going to be so excited. The two of you have been trying for months. He’s going to be a dad, Janice.”

“I know! Trust me, I know. It’s just…he wants this so much and what if I tell him and we’re all excited and we’re picking out names and then something happens? I’m thirty-two and Holly is the same age as me and she had a miscarriage. I don’t want…”

You winced, remembering that emotional phone call you'd received just six months ago. Holly, your mutual friend from college, lived in California now, having moved there when her husband got a job transfer, but she still stayed in touch. Weekly phone calls, cards for special occasions, and she’d even flown in last summer to spend a week with you. A glorious week where you had taken vacation time and you'd all lounged at the lake, eaten far too much junk food, and stayed up half the night laughing and talking as you shared a bottle of wine. It had made you feel like you were twenty again, just starting life, optimistic about what was to come, not a care in the world.

“Okay, yeah. That’s always a possibility but you can’t assume that. It had nothing to do with her age. Don’t you remember Stacy? We were only twenty-one and she had a miscarriage and that girl was the epitome of physical fitness. She ran track and watched everything she put in her mouth. She couldn’t have been healthier. Sometimes there’s no rhyme nor reason to it and it’s not fair but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Let yourself be happy. This is a happy occasion. If you don’t want to share it with everyone for a while, then fine, but you have to share this with Matt. The two of you deserve to be in your own little bubble of bliss.”

“I know. I know you’re right. I just…I don’t know. I saw those two pink lines on that stick and at first, I was so excited. I screamed and I jumped up and down. I almost hopped in my car and drove straight to his work to tell him. But then all these doubts started creeping in and I just couldn’t. I freaked out and so I did what I always do when I freak out.” She paused, smiling, her shoulder lifting in a slight shrug as her hand covered yours. “I ran to you.”

“Well, while it is a tough job to always be the one to try to lead you back to the shallows when you jump off the deep end, it’s not a job I would ever trust to anyone else,” you told her, wrapping your fingers around your friend’s hand, squeezing gently. “And oh my God, Janice! You’re having a baby!”

“I’m having a baby!” she cried and the two of you collapsed into a hug, weeping and laughing and shrieking. “You’re going to be an aunt!”

“Eli is going to freak when he finds out.”

Janice raked her teeth over her bottom lip, “Can we not tell him just yet?”

“Of course,” you assured her. “Of course. We can absolutely wait until you’re ready. Besides, you and Matt definitely have to be the ones to tell him this news. He’s always wanted a younger sibling and I don’t see that happening so maybe he’ll settle for this.”

Janice shifted, one eyebrow raising, “I don’t know. There’s still a possibility.”

“Oh please,” you snorted with a dry laugh. “I’m widowed and in my thirties. Justin and I…I mean we talked about trying for another baby but then he was gone. I would have loved to give Eli a sibling but I really don’t think that’s in the cards.”

“Never say never,” your friend sang. “You have a new guy in your life. You’re not ancient. You’re sitting there telling me my age is fine for being pregnant so why couldn’t you do it?”

“Janice, Steve and I barely know each other. We’ve gone on one date.”

“Well, you know my argument on this. The two of you have spent far more time together than that. Besides, I think we can safely count it as two now. He was at your house yesterday baking.”

“That was baking. We were just getting stuff ready for the school carnival.”

Your face flushed with heat, your gaze dropping to your lap, thumbs twirling tightly around one another. It was far more than just baking but did it count as a date? Probably not. A mistake? Absolutely. Steve had been with quite a few women if rumors were to be believed and now you'd just lumped yourself in with the rest of them. So much for making him wait or keeping him interested. He already knew everything you had to offer.

“Still, you were alone and…why’s your face all red?”

“What? My face is not red,” you protested, sucking down a massive gulp of iced coffee, willing the cool drink to also cool your flesh and stop giving you away.

“You are too! You’re redder than a boiled lobster.”

“We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. You’re pregnant! We’re very excited about that.”

“Like hell we’re not talking about you. Don’t you try to change the subject. I mentioned baking and you got all flustered. The two of you, alone in your house, no kids around…you had sex, didn’t you!?”

“What!? I…no…I…”

“Girl, don’t bullshit me,” Janice warned, one perfectly manicured finger just an inch from your nose. “We’ve been friends for fourteen years. I know you better than anybody. You had sex, didn’t you?”

You groaned, your body sagging against the bench, “Yes.”

“Holy shit! Holy shit! I knew it! Oh my god, this is amazing. How was it? Where was it? Who initiated it? Does he look just as good underneath those clothes? Is he hung? Details! I need all the details!”

“Jesus Christ, do we really have to do this?”

“Yes we have to do this. My friend got well and truly fucked for the first time in over two years. I need to know everything.”

“But you don’t. It was…”

“Oh god. What’s wrong with him?” Janice cringed. “Is he a minute man? Was he one of those guys who thinks penetration is enough to get you there? Does he have a micro penis? Oh Jesus. He has a micro penis, doesn’t he? Guys like that, they always look like they’ll be hung but then they’re not. But it’s okay. We can work with it.”

“No! God. It…it just shouldn’t have even happened. It was a huge mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking. That was the problem! I wasn’t thinking. I just…god, I wanted him so badly. I haven’t had sex in forever and I lost all control and then it was happening and there was no stopping it once it started and now he’s going to think I’m easy and he’s not even going to be interested. And now there’s all these feelings that wouldn’t have been there if I would have just kept my damn legs shut and if it doesn’t work out it’s going to be even more devastating. I’m terrified of what another heartbreak will do to me when I’m already hanging on by a thread most days. And it was so good and it shouldn’t have been that good. I shouldn’t be craving him the way I am right now. I can’t stop thinking about him and then that makes me feel awful because it feels like I am just completely abandoning Justin. I’m just moving on as if he didn’t matter. I shouldn't even be able to feel like this about someone else.”

“Whoa!” Janice held both hands up in front of her body. “Alright. Take a deep breath for me.” She inhaled slowly, gesturing for you to join her. After you did, Janice smiled. “Okay. That’s a lot of shit to unpack. So, let’s take it a step at a time, okay? So what if you already slept with him? Are you stuck on some archaic three date rule or something? You guys don’t fall into that category because you’ve been spending time together for a few weeks already. So, forget that. Steve is not going to think you’re easy. Honey, you’ve been the Virgin Mary since Justin passed away. It was inevitable that your self-control was going to snap. And around a man that looks like that, who could blame you? As for the feelings, feelings aren’t a bad thing and you can kid yourself all you want but sex isn’t changing the fact that you were already in deep for that man.” She pointed to herself. “Person who knows you best, remember? I know every expression that crosses your face, every little gesture you make, every emotion that you wear painted right across your sleeve. You’ve been in deep for that man from the moment you saw him on the baseball field. I could see it the first time you talked about him. So, that ship has long since sailed. If this all ends, you’re going to be just as devastated whether you opened your legs or not so you may as well have fun with it. I will throw your own words right back at you. You can’t control the future so be happy. You deserve it and as far as Justin, stop it. Stop obsessing about what he would think. He’s not here, honey. You’re not cheating on him. You’re not forgetting him. If you were, you wouldn’t be obsessing about how he would feel. He would be pissed, absolutely, if he were alive but he’s not. You wouldn’t be doing this if he were alive so that’s inconsequential. And the only thing he ever wanted, the only thing that ever mattered to him, was that you and Eli were happy and taken care of. Justin would love Steve because from what you’ve told me, he’s amazing to both of you. So, stop it. Okay? Get out of your head and enjoy this. Something amazing is happening here. Be in your own little bliss bubble.”

“I really like him,” you admitted.

“Well, duh,” laughed Janice.

“It terrifies me. He’s amazing. I mean, he shouldn’t be real. He’s gorgeous. He’s kind. He’s attentive. He listens. I mean, he really listens to everything I say. He’s respectful, always making sure I am okay with what’s happening before it happens. He makes me laugh. He is a wonderful father and just a wonderful human. He’s so self-sacrificing, always putting everyone else before himself. I think…I think I might be falling for him and that’s insane. We barely know each other. Isn’t that insane?”

Janice shrugged, “Is it? I mean, there’s no timeline for this kind of stuff. There’s no manual on how to feel about something. We can’t control it. I knew I loved Matt on our fourth date. I don’t know. I just knew he was it for me. I didn’t say it then, of course. I was scared he would think I was crazy and I would chase him away. But he said it after we’d been together for six weeks and so I said it too. And look at us. Look at you and Justin. How long did it take you to say the L word?”

“Two months. He took me ice skating. I fell and took him with me and he just grabbed my face and told me he loved me. And I don’t know. I just knew I felt the same way. I think I actually knew it for longer than that but I didn’t say it.”

“So, do you love Steve?”

“I don’t know,” you groaned. “That’s a really big word for something that’s barely begun.”

“Babe, you’ve been about as intimate as two people can be. And you all hang out like you’re a little family already. I don’t think it’s as big of a word as you think. Or, it is a big word, but I don’t think it’s too big to describe what’s happening.”

“Maybe…I…I just don’t know. I know I really like him. I know that I can’t stop thinking about him. I know that I am counting down the hours until he picks us up tomorrow for the carnival because I just want to see his face.”

“Sure sounds like it to me,” Janice grinned. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. No one’s saying you have to say anything or define anything right now. Just stop obsessing and let yourself enjoy this because it’s pretty damn cool. You, my friend, are in the midst of a love story, a sequel if you will to your first one. Just enjoy the ride.”

“I’ll try,” you assured her, dropping your head on her shoulder. “Now, how soon am I allowed to start shopping for my niece or nephew?”

“Oh lord,” she chucked. “You’re going to spoil this kid rotten, aren’t you? I guess I deserve that for all the shit I’ve bought for Eli over the years.”

“Absolutely.”

___________________________________________________________

“Four hot dogs with everything and a popcorn please,” the jovial dad announced as he stepped forward in line.

“You got it. Would you like anything to drink?”

He glanced over at his wife, the two conversing over their drink options. Their kids, a boy in third grade and a girl in fourth, chimed in, making sure their preferences were known. It quickly turned into the kids whining and huffing when their parents settled on waters, denying their request for a Coke and an icee.

The icee machine was something that Laurie was very proud of procuring for the school carnival. Apparently, she convinced Sal, who ran the gas station in the middle of town to allow them to borrow his for the evening. You were pretty sure Sal was just the next in a long line of men that Laurie strung along, flirting shamelessly to get what she wanted from them. Poor guys. They didn’t realize they would be receiving nothing in return until they were in too deep.

Steve loaded up the hot dogs, handing them off to you so you could hand them to the family. You reached into the cooler to grab their bottles of water while he scooped out popcorn, loading it into the red and white striped boxes that were customary at every concession stand.

You smiled as you watched your son and his friends race past, their faces covered in paint. Tina had kindly offered to keep an eye on them while Steve and you fulfilled your hour at the concession stand. You took the money the dad offered, telling them to have fun, watching as Eli stepped forward to try his luck at the duck pond. His little face lit up when he turned his duck over to reveal a number. The guy offered him a tiny rubber finger alligator and he couldn’t have been more pleased, immediately placing it on his finger and roaring as he shoved it in Jeremiah’s face. The boys thought this was hysterical, all of them breaking into a fit of laughter.

“They’re sure enjoying themselves.”

You jumped at Steve’s words spoken right in your ear. You tilted your head to find him, one arm propped on the counter, his lips just a breath from yours. The smile he gave you was as soft and familiar as a pillow, the one you even had to take on vacation because it was molded to your shape.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi.” You laughed, the sound hoarse and breathy as you tried to get your bearings. His presence invading your space sent you entirely off kilter like a planet knocked from its orbit, floating haphazardly in the vast nothingness of space.

“We’ve been working back here for thirty minutes together and have barely talked.” His fingers walked across the counter to cover your hand with his own. “You’ve been kind of quiet.”

“No. No, I haven’t. We’ve just been busy.”

His head tilted, lips pouting in that way that just made you want to kiss them right off his face. One eyebrow lifted, those hazel eyes reaching straight through you and into your soul, as if he could read you like the pages of a book. The thought, while comforting, was also a bit unsettling. You weren't sure how to feel about him being able to see you so clearly after such a short time.

Had you been quiet? Probably. Your brain was a bit occupied with everything that had occurred in the last forty-eight hours of your life. You'd not only gone on a date with Steve but crossed the line into sex. What did it mean? Were you a couple now? Were you still just getting to know each other like he’d told the boys? Did he still look at you the same way even though you'd been so willing to be intimate with him so quickly?

You were spinning out a bit. Your talk with Janice had helped some but you hadn’t done this in years. You had no idea how to deal with the bevy of emotions that were twisting you into a knot. You couldn’t stop thinking about him. A simple touch and you were like a sixteen year old girl, hormones raging, on the verge of losing control, ready to grab him and smash your lips to his in front of all these damn people.

“Is that it?” he mused, forehead tilting down, almost close enough for yours to touch. “I know we haven’t really talked about what happened on Thursday but I’d like to. I wanted to…”

“Help has arrived!” came a high pitched sing-song voice and you moved your head around Steve to see the source. It was Janet Comstock, one of your least favorite people on the planet. And judging from the look on Steve’s face, she didn’t rank very high for him either. “Looks like you two have been pretty busy.”

“Janet? I thought your shift didn’t start for another thirty minutes. You and Ryan are supposed to do the next one together,” Steve stated, straightening and turning. He leaned back against the counter, arms crossed, staring her down like she was a misbehaving child.

“Oh, it doesn’t but I figured you two could use the help when I saw how people just kept lining up.”

“I think we’re alright,” protested Steve.

“Nonsense. It never hurts to have more hands, right?” she beamed and then snorted, rolling her eyes. “You know, if you fill up the popcorn boxes in advance then you don’t have to waste time when people order them. Much more efficient. See? You need me.”

“Like a hole in the head,” he muttered, teeth clenched tightly, only you hearing his words.

“Oh, hi there." She smiled at you as if she'd just noticed you standing there. "I didn't realize you were volunteering." Bullshit. She'd been at the meeting. "How have you been?” Janet breezed, donning a pair of latex gloves in preparation to scoop up popcorn.

“Okay…” you replied slowly, growing more confused by the minute. You weren't a fan of Janet either but Steve seemed to be extremely put off by her presence.

“That’s good. I’m so glad to see you doing better,” she continued as she scooped. “We were all so worried about you for a while. No one ever saw you. I swear, you became a hermit after everything. Not that I blame you. Justin was perfect, wasn’t he? You had every woman in town jealous. If only we all could find our soulmate but alas, we’re not so lucky. I mean, when there’s only one person who’s really meant to be yours, what are the chances of you finding them in this great big world?”

“I…I mean, yeah, I was lucky to have Justin. He was an amazing man,” you said awkwardly, unsure of what was happening.

Steve was like a statue next to you, standing rigid, his jaw so hard you were sure it could cut through six inch glass. This was the most uncomfortable situation you'd ever been in. You would never pretend like Justin wasn’t one of the best things to happen to you but you really didn’t want to talk about that in front of Steve. But Janet couldn’t know that, right? People may have made assumptions about the two of you but they didn’t actually know what had happened.

“Oh, he was,” crooned Janet. “Strong, kind, and so romantic. I remember when he had all those roses delivered to the doctor’s office for you. I had taken Sally in for an ear infection and they were everywhere, completely covering the counter. Poor Rita could barely see.” She laughed. “The way you two would look at each other, it was like something out of one of them cheesy romance movies. The kind you think are completely fake because nothing like that could ever actually exist. But you two showed us all it could. You must miss him terribly. It must be awful knowing you can never find anything that could come close to that again. But at least you had it for a while, right? Some of us never do.”

“Yeah. I…I…did…” you stammered, your fingers wrapping around the counter so tightly they were tingling, on the verge of going numb. What was this? Why was Janet saying all of this?

You were struck with the need to get out of there, to be anywhere else but here, talking about your perfect love that you no longer had in front of the guy you were hoping to find it with again. To find something with again. The muscle in Steve’s jaw jumped, his nostrils flaring. He was angry.

Was he angry because you were talking about Justin? He knew. He knew you'd been married, knew you'd lost your husband, knew you had loved him very much. Was he not capable of handling this? Of knowing that you'd had a great love before? Justin was never going to be erased from your life. Eli was proof of that. You would forever have a piece of him and if Steve couldn’t handle that then this whole thing might be over before it had even begun.

Janet turned with a sad smile, sighing deeply, her plastic covered hands coming to her chest, “I thought I had that.” Her eyes moved over to Steve and it felt like a ten pound stone had just dropped in your stomach. “I really did but some people are just too scared to let true love in, to see what’s right in front of their face. They keep running to the wrong thing instead of embracing the right one.”

Oh god. Janet. It all came rushing back. That day on Steve’s deck, the girls all talking about this woman he’d dated. Janet, the one he almost had to get a restraining order against. The one who had become obsessed with him. And now it all made sense. Now you could see why Janet was going on and on about Justin. She was trying to make Steve see that you were all wrong for him. Was he thinking that too?

You lifted your fingers from the underside of the counter, curling them one by one, focusing on the feel of the smooth stainless steel. Your eyes zeroed in on the popcorn boxes, the familiar red and white stripes. You needed to get out of here before it happened again. It could not happen here, not in front of Janet, not in front of half the town. You would never live it down. The news of you breaking down at the school carnival would be everywhere before everyone’s heads hit the pillow tonight.

“You know, since you showed up early, how about you help Steve for a bit? I’m going to go check on the boys,” you said, pushing off from the counter, inhaling slowly through your nose.

“Wait. What?” Steve had been zapped from wherever his mind had just been taking him. “No. I…we only have twenty minutes left…I…”

“No, really. It’s silly for all three of us to be back here when it really only takes two. I’ll go relieve Tracy.”

You walked off before he had a chance to respond, not trusting yourself to spend one more minute in the midst of that tension and animosity. You could not hear Justin’s name come out of that woman’s mouth one more time. You could not watch Steve grow angrier each time he came up. You marched out, on the hunt for your son, ready to lose yourself in the chaos of the carnival instead of the chaos of whatever the hell that was.

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“Janet, what the hell was that?” Steve snapped as the heavy door closed behind you. You'd darted out of there as fast as possible, not that he blamed you. He hadn’t wanted to be there either but one of you had to stay behind.

“That was me trying to save you from making a huge mistake,” she stated, arms folding over her chest, brown eyes burning into his. “Are you really that naive that you can’t see it?”

“See what exactly?”

“That girl is all wrong for you! You’ll never be able to measure up to her husband, ever!”

“I’m not trying to!” he yelled, jolting when he noticed Sarah standing at the counter, looking sheepish at interrupting what was obviously a heated argument.

“Hey there,” she said brightly, waving. “So sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to get some popcorn and a couple of icees.”

“Of course!” Janet beamed brightly, turning to handle her order as if they hadn’t just been yelling at each other.

Sarah cringed, mouthing sorry to him and Steve just gave her a small smile and a wave of his hand, indicating it was okay. She probably knew what was happening. The whole town had known he’d dated Janet for a while. Hell, he was sure the whole town knew how he’d broken her heart because she’d probably made sure they all knew.

She thanked Janet as she took the snacks and traded her money before heading off, turning back once to look back at Steve with sympathy. Everyone knew Janet was a bit crazy. He just wished he’d known before he decided to ask her out. He wished he’d listened when his best friend told him she was after meeting her once but it probably would have already been too late by then. She’d been a stage five clinger from the first date.

“Steve,” she began, shaking her head, pulling her gloves off and flinging them in the trash can. “You didn’t see the two of them together. I did. That was epic, once in a lifetime love. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life living in some man’s shadow? Because that is all you will be to her, a pale comparison of what she had before.”

“You don’t know anything about her and I, and it’s none of your damn business!”

“It is my business! It is! I gave you everything. I took care of you. I bent over backward to be everything you wanted and you still threw me to the side like I was nothing but trash!”

“I didn’t throw you anywhere! And maybe that’s the problem. You shouldn’t mold yourself into what you think someone wants. Then that’s not really what they want and that’s not fair to you. Why would you want to be with someone if you have to pretend?”

“I wasn’t pretending! I’m telling you, if you head down this road, you’re just going to wind up heartbroken. She will never need you like you need to be needed. You will never be number one for her because he always will. You will never be the most important. And you and I both know how much you want that.”

Her words hit their mark. He would never tell her that. And how the hell did she know him that well? Robin had said all those same things to him. How he craved to be the most important to someone because he’d never been to anyone else. But now he had Robin and he knew he was pretty damn high on her list. Not to mention Dustin. That kid relied on him for damn near everything.

But what if he couldn’t ever be that person for you? What if you looked at him and just saw the next best option? Like he was the store brand version of your name brand husband? What if he couldn’t ever have all of you because part of you had been buried in that casket with him?

When Steve envisioned a life with the person he was meant to be with, he envisioned them having all of him, him having all of them. Two people who were so connected that nothing could come between them because they were a force that nothing could break. But could he have that with someone who’d already had that?

“You know I’m right, don’t you?” she smirked, one eyebrow lifting smugly. “She might be a pretty package but she’ll never truly be yours. That gift tag has someone else’s name on it. Dead or not, it doesn’t change that.”

He was saved from responding when the door swung open, Ryan, the other dad who had volunteered, entering. Before he could even get a word out, Steve was gone, pushing past him and into the gymnasium. As if all the doubts Janet had just put in his head would be locked behind that door too when it shut behind him.

Weaving through running children hurrying from one game to the next, his head was on a swivel, looking for any sign of you or the boys. The entire place was chaos, a constant drone of conversation, squealing, and feet smacking against the linoleum. He hadn’t made it halfway through when a little body slammed into his legs, arms wrapping around him. He looked down, expecting to see his own son but finding Eli instead.

“Steve! Steve, you have to come see! They have a reptile guy here and he has real snakes! There’s a python that’s like ten hundred feet long!”

You stood just behind him, Jeremiah next to you. You offered him an uncertain smile and he gave one back. He had no idea where you stood. No idea where your head was at after that embarrassing scene in the concession booth.

Hell, he had no idea where you stood, period. He was hoping you would get a chance to talk tonight. But between the boys and Janet, that wasn’t looking likely. He knew the two of you had crossed the line, and rather quickly. He didn’t regret it. That moment in your kitchen had been playing on a loop in his brain ever since. But he needed to know how you were feeling about it all. Were you officially a couple? Or were you thinking that was a mistake that you wished you could take back? You really might be after what just happened.

Eli grabbed his hand and Steve allowed himself to be dragged across the gym. He responded appropriately with wide eyes and gasps as the boys made him look at every single reptile the guy had from iguanas to a python that was not ten hundred feet long but still pretty damn big. But the whole time his mind was on you, on what you were thinking right now, what you were feeling. He was dying to talk to you, to find out. He wished he could peer into your brain. Were you feeling for him the way he was for you? Or was this just a stepping stone, like Robin had been scared of, a jumping off point for you to move on from the man who’d truly made you happy?

The two of you followed the boys from game to game, dutifully holding any prizes they won. You spoke, your words polite but clipped, uncomfortable and he hated it. The boys didn’t seem to be aware but he sure was. Steve stepped up at the game where you threw a ball at pins and won a goldfish for Eli.

“Mommy, look!” he shrieked, holding the bag up proudly. “Steve got me a fish! I’m going to name him Flash. I know Flash is red and he’s orange but I bet he can swim really fast.”

You smiled at your son, trying to convey excitement but your eyes weren’t quite showing it, “Oh fun.” You looked up at Steve, so exasperated but damn if you didn’t look cute. “Now we need a bowl and food.”

“Sorry,” he offered when the boys raced ahead, leaving you holding the newest member of the family. “I guess I didn’t really think about the ramifications of winning a living creature.”

“It’s fine,” you sighed. “My biggest concern is keeping this damn thing alive. If Eli sees him belly-up, he’s going to be heartbroken. And with a fish, the chances of that are pretty likely.”

“I can stop and grab supplies on the way out of here and drop them off for you,” he offered.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

“Of course I do. It’s my fault you now have a fish to house and feed. It’s not a big deal. I can even help him get Flash all set up if you’d like.”

He wanted you to say yes. He wanted another reason to see you. He wanted an opportunity to talk to you, somewhere away from all the nosey residents of this town. And he was kind of hoping that maybe the boys would head off to Eli’s room and give you some time alone. Time for you to hash all of this out and figure out what exactly was happening here.

You swallowed, your eyes off in the distance and he feared you were going to say no but then you turned to him, smiling.

“Okay. Thanks. I don’t really know anything about keeping a fish alive so that would be helpful.”

Steve shrugged, “It’s not that hard. Not a goldfish anyway. They just need some freshwater, a bowl, and some fish food. I can get a couple fun things for in the bowl too. Some fish are more complicated. My uncle had an aquarium and he had saltwater fish and that’s a pain in the ass. You have to make sure the water is the right PH and everything. But goldfish are pretty basic.”

By the time the carnival was coming to a close, the boys had exhausted every single activity, many more than once. They had maximized their time and the very full bag of cheap prizes that Steve was holding proved it. The baked goods had been a hit. Even Laurie had approached you to tell you how amazing your treats had been, leaving you with that pink blush to your cheeks that Steve loved so much.

The boys were moving much more slowly as they made their way to the parking lot, the energy they’d exuded in the gym finally starting to catch up to them.

“You know, if Jere is really tired, you don’t have to run to the store,” you told him. “I can always go tomorrow. Hopefully this guy can survive in a bag for one night.”

“Nah, he’ll be fine. Watch.” He turned to the boys. “Hey Jere. We’re gonna stop at the store to grab some stuff for Flash and take it to Eli’s. You good with that or are you two tired to go to his house?”

Jeremiah’s face lit up, his exhaustion forgotten as he bounced on his toes, “Yeah!”

“See?” teased Steve with a laugh. “He’s good at bouncing right back when he’s excited.”

“Can we have another sleepover?” asked Eli. “Jeremiah hasn’t stayed at our house and then he can hang out with Flash too. We can sleep in my room. My bed is big so we’ll both fit!”

You sighed, smiling, looking over at Steve who shrugged, letting you know he was okay with it if you were. You looked back at the boys, opening your arms wide.

“Alright. Why not?”

“Yes!” both boys shrieked at the same time.

“Well, then why don’t I just take Jere back with me?” you asked. “The boys can play for a bit until you get there with the fish stuff.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Bye daddy!” Jeremiah yelled, jumping in your backseat with Eli.

“Well, alright then. See you in a bit, okay?”

“See you in a bit,” you smiled.

Steve walked to his car, hope blossoming in his chest, a tiny green sprout of hope that this would work out in his favor. If he could play his cards right and hang long enough, until the boys were passed out, then you could finally have the conversation you needed to have. And then he would know. Either that sprout would spread and bloom or wilt and die.

Chapter 12

Thanks so much for taking the time to read my little story! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist. 😊 And replies and reblogs are always appreciated if you enjoy it. ❤️❤️❤️

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