#B&S has been sitting in my drafts forever

[sunflowergirl522]

Yours Truly part 5 tomorrow and then finally posting Babysitting and Storytelling later in the week

#wip stuff #B&S has been sitting in my drafts forever #I have like 4 more Eddie fics written in my google docs rn #and I’m finally getting somewhere with part 6

[elliereject]

ifhy .1

* in which ellie’s obsession relationship with you begins to sour as your romance with your new boyfriend seems to flourish. it seems she’ll stop at nothing to ensure your happiness, (which you’ll find with her, obviously) even if it means hurting you in the process.

* lowkey obsessive ellie, (I LIKE EM’ A LITTLE CRAZY!), angst + comfort (next chapter(s), infidelity, unrequited feelings yet also mutual pining (just read it like, idk idk I forgot how to do these),lmk if I missed anything!

* im back, ok not really this has been rotting in my drafts forever and I was reading it back and I was like damn I lowk cooked with this. It’s unfinished as of RN but this is only 1/3 of the fic im just splitting it up so u don’t have to wait months,,for it..like my other fics..DONT ASK ME ABT THOSE, cuz I don’t got an answer. IN THE MEAN TIME ENJOY THIS! <3

* mdni (but like if u do wtvr, nothing crazy happens in this chapter)

wc ~ 1.6k

pt. 2 here

Ellie Williams fucking hated you.

Surprisingly, she didn’t at first. In fact, she was in love with you, bordering infatuation.

She had seen you for the first time at the local bookstore before the semester started, you were flipping through a book about time and relativity with a concentrated look on your face. She smiled to herself when she saw you push up onto your toes to reach for another book but to no avail. She took this as an opportunity to walk up to you and reach over your head to grab it, making sure to flex her lean, tattooed arm before placing it in your hand.

Her jade eyes locked on yours and your face heated immediately, you mumbled a “Thank you.” Before scurrying past her to the checkout.

Imagine her surprise when on the first day of classes, she walks into her astrophysics course and sees you, doodling in your notebook with that same concentrated look on your face.

Of course, she sits next to you, flashing that charming smile that has sweat gathering at your hands. She tells you her name then asks for yours and learns about your major, favourite course, and how you’re staying in a little apartment just outside the campus before more students and your professor filed in. You didn’t know why but you just felt so comfortable telling her things, She laughed at your corny jokes and made even cornier ones, and she admired the doodles that covered your notebook and the little duck pen you used.

You didn’t want to speak too soon, but it was safe to say you were harbouring a tiny bit of a crush on her.

Ellie on the other hand, was completely ready to admit it. She felt her love for you grow each second she was around you. Your smile quite literally felt like the sun shining upon her, your laugh made her want to drop her studies of space to pick up stand-up comedy just so she could make it her job to make you laugh. In her eyes, everything you did was perfect. Her thoughts were completely consumed by you, you, you.

And for a few months, things were amazing! You had been introduced to Dina and Jesse and even spent Halloween hanging out with the trio watching horror movies and eating each other's weight in candy. When the holidays rolled around you and Ellie, along with the others, cozied up under some blankets and made fun of cheesy Hallmark movies while she tried her hardest not to interlock her hands with yours even after your pinky brushed against hers for the sixth time.

During finals, Ellie and you organized designated study days that usually ended in giggling at stupid memes on each other's phones or late-night food runs. Of course, there were lingering touches and flirtatious glances here and there but you were too shy to act on it and Ellie would rather die than make you uncomfortable so she kept you just at arm's length. Besides, she knew you were too timid to approach anyone else, so in a way she had you all to herself.

Then, you met him. Some motherfucker whose name she didn’t care to remember. However, she did remember the innate feeling of anger that surged through her body when you gushed to her about him and how he was a history major and the way his glasses framed his face perfectly and whatever the fuck else you found interesting about him.

She nodded and laughed and smiled along with you when you would drone on about him but would excuse herself to the bathroom to tend to the crescent-shaped wounds in her palms from digging her fingers into them so hard.

She tried her best to not show these negative emotions to you because she knew how much you didn’t like when she got mad but fuck was it hard. Especially that one night when you were out with him and you hadn’t replied to her texts in over 5 hours. Man did her drywall take some damage that night.

And when you finally did reply you had completely disregarded her message and went on to boast about the time you had and how gentlemanly he was. All she could do was reply with a dry “sounds like fun🙂” before she went back to throwing a tantrum around her room and tormenting that poor wall…she’d have to remember to buy some spackle before the end of the semester.

Then, there was the time she trekked over to your apartment with some pizza for a surprise movie night and saw the bouquet placed in front of your door. She set the box down to pick up the flowers and read who it was from, her body reacted before she could rethink. She tore the flowers from the beautifully wrapped packaging and stomped on them over and over and over until all that was left were broken stems and tattered petals.

Thankfully, you got home just a few minutes later and missed her outburst. You gasped when you saw the smashed flowers and asked her what had happened, she shrugged and lied easily, claiming it was like this when she got there. She let out a breath when you shook your head and sighed, saying it was probably your next-door neighbor who had always been a bit of a grouch.

She had genuinely thought she was doing a pretty good job of hiding her true feelings for both you and him but it was when you gleefully announced that he was officially your boyfriend she knew she was done for. You squealed and pulled her in for a hug but it felt like her heart had shriveled up into a clump of black coal and woosh like magic, her love for you had turned into something twisted, something possessive.

It was when you invited her over to your apartment to eat dinner with him that she had started considering the idea that you knew she had a crush on you and you were just fucking with her emotions for fun.

How could you start dating, let alone seeing some random ass motherfucker when she was right here! She knew she could treat you better than he could even dream of, she knew everything about you and she’d make it known to you how perfect she was for you, one way or another.

That night at dinner she sat uncomfortably as you fluttered around your tiny kitchen, adding last-minute touches to the spaghetti you made and despite the grumble in her tummy it felt like she had no appetite when she watched the hungry way he looked at you, as if you were a juicy steak and he was a starved wolf.

Once you were finished plating the food and placing it on the table you sat down eagerly and tried your best to mediate the obvious tension.

“Soo uh, Ellie, you’ve been really into watercolour recently right?” You beamed.

“Uh-huh.” She said dryly, twirling her spaghetti around her fork.

“Oh that’s cool, you know watercolour as an art form has been around since Egyptian times! It’s funny to think that like—Cleopatra was painting with water and grapes or something!” He spoke and you giggled like it was the funniest joke in the world. She shot you a look that said really? because she knows she could make a joke that was way funnier, and would expel your real laugh.

“That’s cool. You know how to shut the fuck up?” She mumbled into her bite of spaghetti.

“Sorry?” He asked and you gave her a sideways glance.

She smiled tightly and swallowed before answering, “Just said that’s cool!”

Dinner dragged on as he droned about the history of the Renaissance or fucking Christopher Columbus, she didn’t actually know, she tuned him out. After you cleared the plates, you ushered them into your cozy living room for a movie and when you excused yourself to the bathroom she plopped down on the couch next to him, subtly pulling out her switchblade.

“So, Kevin—“

“Actually my name—“

“I don’t give a fuck what your name is, matter fact I don’t give a fuck about you in general. What are your intentions with ★?”

The man tensed up as Ellie expertly spun the blade around in her fingers.

“Uh—I mean, she seems cool and dating her has been pr—“

“Cool?” Ellie scoffed, “She’s fucking perfect, and I hope you know whatever you have going on with her right now? It won’t last. Soon she’s gonna see you for the limp-ass motherfucker you are.”

He was taken aback, “What?—I’m sorry, did I do something to offend you?”

“Your whole existence offends me.” She rasped, inching her blade closer to his neck. “She’s not meant to be with you.”

He furrowed his brows, “You like her, don’t you?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Before he could reply you were back from the bathroom and she slipped her blade back into her pocket and got up with a firm grip on his shoulder.

“What were you two talking about?” You asked as you grabbed a bag of chips from your small coffee table and tore into them.

“Oh you know, girl talk.” She smiled, digging her blunt nails into his shoulder. Translation: don’t say a fucking word.

You rolled your eyes playfully like you even had a clue of what was going on, “He’s not a girl, dumbass.”

She shrugged, stepping away from her previous seat to plop down on the other small sofa.

The rest of the night proceeded relatively smoothly, your boyfriend had been so shaken up by Ellie’s words that even with you sitting next to him he kept his distance with worried glances toward Ellie now and then. Ellie crunched on her popcorn happily and watched the movie with a satisfied smile and a chipper aura.

— ★

🤔 shall I put out the second part? only time (and interactivity! 💝 pls don’t let this flop) will tell!

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie angst #ellie au #ellie fic #ellie fluff #ellie smut #ellie x reader #jealousellie #tlou fanfiction #tlou

[fountainpenguin]

I Just Live here- 130 Prompts.

1, 3, 9

[Current Ask game]

"I Just Live Here" - Read on FNN || Read on AO3

--

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I've had the idea for this 'fic for maybe 4 years; its working title was "House Tours With Plot" (a title I've considered recycling several times, so you might see it again someday). For a couple years I considered writing it as a winter solstice holiday piece, but never got around to it.

Earlier this year, I condensed some stray 'fics into 130 Prompts (after retiring some old Prompts drafts I didn't like). This was one of them, so here it is.

I've been wanting to do a piece about Poof's relationship with the Fairywinkles (since, y'know... shady side of the family), so this was a good icebreaker into showing off his lateral freckles and having a run-in with Westley, (plus the "Am I adopted?" convo).

Also I was surprised that Finley was a breeze to write. He may be a grumpy pixie who can't do magic and just wants to play video games forever, but he's a surprisingly fun narrator. He flows really well and I like him.

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

I really like all of Finley's section in particular, but here are a couple highlights:

- I always laugh when people ask what I want my dream job to be. That's cringe, guys. - They can even handle the dry cleaning. I have to do that crap by hand. Please… No way. - "Where's Dad?" I ask, just to irritate him. Me, Palomar, Jardine, and Commelina are basically the only pixies who can get away with calling H.P. "Dad." He's biased towards two on that list, counting them like his children as if he even bothered to raise them. Jardine just can't be tamed. As for me, it's because I don't give a blazing B about what the head honcho thinks of me, and he knows it. - I already miss Foop. He's a total dip, an absolute mess of a person, but he's also my immediate roommate about 90% of the year. - I hate when my desire for malicious compliance falls prey to the need to suck up for good stuff. I pull out my DS again. H.P.'s eyes linger over me like he's debating whether he can get away with telling me that if I have time to game, I have time to take notes on important warehouse crap. 

He has a strong voice and I love him <3

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

The initial prompt associated with the "I Just Live Here" title was Crocker calling Mark's parents to a parent-teacher conference, and Mark requesting Timmy's help. I think that's a strong premise for a story, but... it never really came to me, and I have too much to write without forcing myself to finish a non-essential piece that doesn't inspire me.

In terms of this story's final plot and what came before, I would have been tempted to include Goldie and/or Sammy Sweetsparkle if the draft hadn't ended up at 17k.

Sammy's a changeling (for Bunsen's family, specifically- idk how many people remember that, but in the Riddleverse, Sammy Sweetsparkle and Bunsen are canonically siblings, based on those episodes where they use the exact same dialogue and I think it's funny). But... didn't really know what to do with it considering I was trying to stay under a certain wordcount per character. Not a lot you can do without Mikey, my beloved.

One day I'll post all the Goodness of Misfit chapters I've been sitting on and everyone will be shocked, including me...

Also, I'd also initially planned for Foop's chapter to include him running an obstacle course, but him talking about the teacups took way longer than I thought, so I left it as it was. Plus, I've done obstacle course stories before and they're rough to convey... More of a good visual gag.

Thanks for asking and hopefully that satisfies your curiosity!

[Current Ask game]

#Fairly OddParents #FOP Poof #FOP Foop #FAIRIES! #We're Pixies! #Purple hippie dragonfly #Nerdy blue bat son #The bat with the hat #Gamer pixie #Glitter child #Fluffy blue transfer student #ridwriting #asks #Anon #Ask box games

[harrywritingsbyme]

A Special Valentine

Anonymous Said: would it be possible for the "series of firsts" it's harry's first time with a girl...

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

A/N: So I’ve been sitting on this concept for what seems life forever. I’ve gotten ideas and I’ve lost ideas and it’s been a good while of writing little drafts and stuff for this fic. But, I am so so so thankful to have @adore-you-hs2 and @honeyfulharries for helping me brainstorm some ideas for this fic!! Since I wrote a virgin!Y/n fic last year around valentines day, I figured I’d do a fic for Harry, only this time incorporating more of the valentines theme. So it’s hella soft and fluffy with a lil angst, and when you get to the smut it’s hella filthy😂I hope y’all like it and I hope all of you had a lovely day…yesterday or the day before bc this valentine is hella late and timezones are a bitch. This is a brand new installment in a series of firstsss!! Anywaysss…enjoy🙃❤️

7.3k wordsss

Harry was beyond embarrassed. He was almost at the point of being ashamed. While all of his friends divulged about their sex lives and talked about how their significant other was in bed, he just sat next to you idly without anything to add to the conversation. He couldn’t talk about his favorite positions to have you in or little tricks he has for the bedroom. He was a virgin and didn’t have any type of experience whatsoever in regards to sex. The most he’d ever done with someone was touching over the clothes and making out. When he was all by himself, Harry did what he had to do; which he actually felt like he did a pretty good job with. It’s not that he didn’t know what he was into or liked in regards to his pleasure. Harry knew what his favorite content was and he even had a couple toys he liked to use on himself. It’s just that when he got to the more intimate phase of the relationship, he always got flustered and nervous. Even when it came to oral or mutual masturbation. He didn’t exactly know why he wasn’t able to express himself or be the same person he was when he was behind closed doors and alone. What made matters even worse for him though was the fact that he always felt rushed. Like whenever he said that he wasn’t quite ready or that he was a virgin, the dynamic of the relationship shifted. Ultimately leaving him alone to feel embarrassed, a bit hopeless, and sad over the fact that he was still a virgin. He also felt unwanted given the fact that a couple of his prior relationships fizzled out pretty quickly after he revealed that he hadn’t had his first time and that he wasn’t ready to do so at that moment. 

Eventually though, Harry reached the point of not even bothering or trying to meet new people and be in a relationship. He felt like he’d never be accepted nor meet the right person for him, let alone be ready to go all the way. So he put all of that on the back burner and just went along with life, becoming content with being completely by himself. And then he met you. It was like the perfect cliche. You were the person who never judged him for being a virgin or tried to rush him into doing anything he wasn’t up to or ready for. You just loved him for him and you wanted to be with him and be in love. It was like he was being understood and heard for the first time in a very long time and it felt great. With you, Harry was never made to feel like he was less than because of his choice and feelings when it came to his virginity. In fact, when you listened to what he’d been through in the past, it broke your heart. You could tell that he was really heartbroken and deeply saddened about it all and you never wanted to make him feel that way or even worse. So you made it your mission to never put pressure on him when it came to this and you made it your mission to listen and be there for him. You weren’t going to back out of your relationship over this; you loved him too much to even consider doing that. 

Even though he was fine with and had accepted the idea of being by himself, Harry didn’t want that for the rest of his life. He wanted to be with someone, he wanted to love someone unconditionally and be unconditionally loved back. And he got just that in you. He’d have to spend an entire lifetime compiling all of the words that could describe how perfect you are and how much he loves your relationship. Sure the two of you annoyed the hell out of each other at times and had disagreements. But neither of you wanted to annoy or disagree with anyone else. Over the past almost year of being together, you and Harry grew closer and closer. You two grew to love each other more than ever and this love was growing more and more each day. You and Harry could agree that there was a long and bright future ahead for you two and that was very exciting for you both. And in the process of growing and building your relationship, the two of you never had sex. You always followed Harry’s lead and you just went with the flow. Now things got a bit hot and heavy at times, but you and Harry were more than capable of taking care of yourselves so you two just stopped and didn’t go any further. From the toys you both had to your special “entertainment” and your vivid imaginations, you two were were just fine until the right time came along. And you specifically, refused to put any type of pressure on Harry. When it came to your first time together and Harry’s first time ever, you had the mindset that if Harry was comfortable, you were comfortable. 

And that was another reason why Harry felt so embarrassed. He was sitting next to you, his incredibly supportive and understanding girlfriend, in the middle of a conversation with you guys’ friends about your sex lives when he’s never had sex with you, or anyone for that matter. Listening to them, he felt like he was sort of holding you back and not fulfilling you the way you deserved. Even though you reminded him that the right time was when he was ready and that you were perfectly fine with that, Harry still felt a way. He still felt embarrassed. And on top of all that, you were being so sweet and understanding in the midst of it all. You were really trying to make him a little less uncomfortable and not so out of place. You could sense and see a little bit of that in the way he sank into the couch and cuddled into you a little more, so you wanted to be there for him and help him relax a bit. You were making a little conversation with him while the others talked amongst themselves, you played with his rings, and you gave him little kisses here and there. But you could only do but so much in that moment. Despite your efforts, Harry still felt the same way. Without any warning, Harry moves away from you a bit and stands from the couch, quickly announcing to the group that he needed a little fresh air. At first you just let him go, figuring that you should let him have his space. But after a couple minuets of sitting there without him, not really wanting to engage in the conversation at hand, you decide to get up and go out to him, giving the excuse that you wanted to check on him and see if he was okay. To be honest, it felt very weird to sit there without him.

You quickly walk away from the group in the direction Harry left in, needing to find him soon as you possibly could. Once you made it out the front door you turn to find him sitting in one of the chairs a couple steps away looking completely deflated. You couldn’t let him be all alone when he was feeling like this. So you quietly walk over, sitting down in the chair next to him, with your body and attention completely in his direction.

“I couldn’t sit there anymore.” He huffs, breaking the silence and bringing his hands up to his face.

“I understand babe.” You sigh, reaching over to rub his arm.

“It’s just- It’s so embarrassing that I’m in my late 20’s an I haven’t done anything with you, or anyone else for that matter.” He explains. 

“That is nothing to be embarrassed about Harry.” You softly exclaim, picking yourself up from your seat to sit in his lap. “Your virginity is yours, and only yours. That’s your decision to make, not mine, nor anyone else’s.” You affirm. 

“But It’s not normal considering I’m 27! What are you even with me?! I don’t want you to be with me and not be fulfilled.” He stresses quietly, feeling incredibly defeated. The entire situation brought up feelings and thoughts that he’d tried very hard to get past. When he says this, you immediately cup the sides of his face, forcing him to focus on you. 

“Now I want you to listen to me. I am with you because I love you so fucking much and you’re the most amazing person in the entire world. Sex is great and all but I can wait as long as you need if it means being with you and loving you to pieces. Hell, I’ll wait until we’re married if that’s what you choose to do. The point is, I’m yours and I will wait as long as necessary. With or without sex, you fulfill me Harry.” You softly explain to him, looking him right in the eye as you say every word. You could see the tears welling up in his eyes as you spoke to him. 

“I love you so much Y/n.” Harry sighs, still feeling a bit down. “Can we go to your place and cuddle.” He mumbles through a pout. 

“Of course baby! I’ll run back inside and let everyone know you’re not feeling well and then we can head home. How does that sound?” You propose with a smile.

“That sounds amazing.” He sighs, a small smile spreading across his face. 

“Can I have a kiss first?” You ask, puckering your lips towards him. In response he gives you a cute little nod before you lean down to press your lips against his. When the two of you kiss you can feel Harry relax a bit, which is exactly what you wanted. You knew that this wouldn’t solve this entirely, but it was a step in the right direction and it made Harry feel a little better which was all that mattered. “Now you wait right here and I’ll be right back.” You softly instruct after pulling away from his lips, following up with another kiss to the forehead before moving yourself off of his lap and back inside. After letting everyone know that Harry wasn’t feeling well and that you two were going to head out, you and Harry go back to your place and spend time together, cuddling and watching you guys’ favorite show and some movies, eventually falling asleep all cuddled with each other.

~ ~ ~ 

After that day, Harry began to think about going all the way with you and finally having sex for the first time a lot more than usual. Over the past year almost, you’ve shown him that you really do love and care about him. You never pressured him into doing anything and you always reminded him that he should do all of this at his own pace. You also showed him that you were the one; you were the one he could and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. There were just so many things about you that he loved. So many things that Harry couldn’t imagine having his first time with anyone else. And he made sure to tell you that after deliberating on the matter for a couple of days. 

“I think I’m ready to lose it.” Harry whispers, completely out of the blue as the two of you wash the dishes from your little date night.

“You’re ready to y’know, have sex?” You question, wanting to make sure you heard him correctly. 

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for a little bit and I realized that I’m ready to do it. And I want to do it with you. I wouldn’t want to have my first time with anyone else to be completely honest with you.” He explains, a small smile spreading across his face as he continues drying the dishes you’ve washed and handed over to him.

“Well I’m very honored, that you’re entrusting me with this. And I hope that it’s as good as you’ve imagined.” You reply to him, beginning to feel a bit of nervousness and excitement at the idea of being Harry’s first time. You’d never thought about it much since Harry wasn’t ready. But now that he was, you were feeling so many things and you were thinking about so many things as the time had finally come.

“Well I highly doubt that it will be anything less than amazing baby.” Harry hums, dropping the dishtowel and turning his attention to you. “I love you.” He sighs happily, prompting you to turn your head to face him.

“I love you too babe.” You coo, leaning in to press a quick peck to his lips.

~ ~ ~

Now you refused to let Harry’s first time be anything short of special. So you decided to plan something romantic for you two at your place, and you planned for this to be on Valentines Day. Not only would it be your first time celebrating as a couple, but it would also be your first intimate moment with Harry. And you wanted everything to be perfect, so you made a list of everything you’d need for the night at least a week or two in advance. You had everything from ingredients for dinner to a new set of lingerie. You also went over the list several times to make sure that you got everything you could possibly need for that night. You even went as far as to plan a little backup dinner in case something went wrong with the initial plan. You just wanted to make this night perfect for Harry. He���d gone through a lot in his relationships to get here and you wanted him to see that doing it all at his pace paid off and that he was special and loved. In the couple of days leading up to the big day, you began shopping and getting everything together. You got all of the food, wine, and decoration along with your lingerie and some other things for yourself that would make the entire experience that much better.

And when the day finally came, you were excited and all ready to go.

You had dinner cooking, the wine was in the fridge chilling, your bedroom was all set up with a fresh set of sheets, a couple candles set up and ready to be lit, a mix of red and white rose petals on the bed, and the perfect playlist (which you spent a good amount of time on) queued up. Not to mention the fact that you had your lingerie and everything perfectly set up in the bathroom so that you could be ready to change right into it after dinner. All you needed now was Harry. When he texted you to let you know that he was less than ten minuets away, you quickly throw on the dress you’d picked out for the evening along with your shoes and you do a final once over in the mirror before leaving your bedroom, making sure to close the door to keep that part of the evening a surprise. You pulled the wine from the fridge and you put the finishing touches on the table that was perfectly set for your dinner. In the final minuets before Harry’s arrival, you do a final walk through of everything you’d set up, it ending with a soft knock on your door signaling to you that Harry had arrived. When you hear him, your heart immediately begins to race from being nervous and excited for the night ahead. You immediately move yourself to the door, quickly giving yourself a little pep talk before opening the door for Harry. And when you did, you were almost certain you were going to pass out. Not only because you were buzzing around your apartment doing everything, but also because your boyfriend looked so good. What he had on was very simple but it was doing so much at the same time. You just wanted to pull him straight to the bedroom. But you didn’t. It took a lot of self control, but Harry was able to make it inside and settle down a bit before you two hit the bedroom

But it wasn’t that much of a gap in between Harry settling in and you two hitting the bedroom though. See, once you let him inside and gave him a kiss, it was like game over. He had a big basket that was beautifully filled with the things you loved and a couple presents he got you  in one hand, and a big bouquet of your favorite flowers in the other. When he got inside, Harry happily and proudly gave them both to you and let you check them both out while he snooped around in the kitchen a little to see what you had prepared and opened the bottle of wine you had out on the counter for you two. Once you started, you couldn’t stop gushing over and thanking Harry for what he got you. It was beyond thoughtful and you couldn’t wait for him to fully experience his gift of the night you’d planned out. Once you and Harry began talking and drinking a little, you two loosened up and were enjoying each other. The lights were dimmed a bit, there were candles just about everywhere, you and Harry were in love, and the two of you were all alone. It was absolutely perfect and romantic. On top of all that though, there was the pleasant elephant in the room, that being Harry giving you the green light that he was ready for his first time. If there were no other indicators in the days leading up to this moment, there was definitely one now that was strongly pointing to him losing it tonight. He wasn’t anxious and he wasn’t thinking about backing out and telling you that he’s changed his mind. He knew that you’d be all on board with that but Harry was absolutely ready to be with you intimately. He was so ready that he couldn’t take his mind off it on the ride over. And once he arrived, Harry was completely floored by how amazing you looked and how you put this entire evening together that he was even more ready to go to the bedroom. He was so ready and excited that he completely gave up on talking. The two of you transitioned yourselves into the kitchen to get started with dinner, but Harry was very much so enjoying the idea of saving that for later. So without any word from him on what he was in the mood for, Harry takes your wine glasses and sits them on the counter, freeing your hands up as he traps you in between his body and the kitchen counter before attaching his lips with yours. 

When he does this, you practically melt under his touch. You were already in a daze from how amazing he looked, and from how sweet and amazing he was to you. So when Harry began to kiss you with such passion and need, you instantly obliged. Again, you were following his lead. If he wanted to skip and come back to dinner, you weren’t going to oppose one bit. As the two of you continued to kiss, you could feel him hardening against you which prompted the area between your legs to initiate the process of becoming all warm and sticky and go into overdrive. His hands were on your body, he was tightly pressed against you, and his mouth was magically moving against yours. This was just what you needed to fully get into the skipping right to the bedroom mood. It wouldn’t have taken much on Harry’s end to get you there but this was fantastic, so you weren’t complaining at all. When you hear Harry let out a soft moan into your mouth and move himself against you a little, you decide to take control and move you two to the bedroom a little faster. 

“Do you wanna just come back to dinner?” You whisper after pulling your lips away from his a bit.

“Mhm.” He immediately hums in response, loosening himself from your body so that you could move a bit more.

“Then let’s go.” You whisper with a smile, moving yourself from underneath him and grabbing his hand, pulling him in the direction of your bedroom. When you reach the door, you tease him a little by slowly turning the door knob, making sure to keep eye contact the entire time to drive him insane. And that definitely did the trick of riling him up some more. That is, until he got all soft once the bedroom was revealed to him. You went out of your way to make this space romantic since this was the place where he’d have his first time. “I wanted to make everything perfect for you.” You softly explain as you pull him into the room. 

“Have I told you that I love you tonight?” He asks, through a small breath. 

“Probably about a million times.” You happily joke with him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Well for time one million and one, I love you so  so much. Like with my entire being. I love you so much that it hurts. And I couldn’t be more honored to be yours.” Harry says, bringing his lips to yours for a sweet kiss to seal the deal.

“I love you so much baby, so much.” You reply happily to him, so excited to move into the next step of your relationship. “Now get back into I want sex mode...that’s so hot on you and I have another surprise.” You continue, wanting to keep going and go all the way. 

“Considering how hard I am, I don’t think I’ll be out of “I want sex mode” for a while.” Harry truthfully replies with a chuckle that had the slightest tinge of bashfulness from how he was already rock hard and ready for you.

“Good! Now lay down and wait for me.” You say, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and pulling you both towards the bed before pushing him back down onto it. You then proceed to straddle him, bringing your face down to a mere inch or so away from his. “And if you wanna take your clothes off too, I’m definitely unopposed. ” You suggest with a smirk, planting a little peck to his lips before climbing off of his lap and walking out of the bedroom and into the bathroom where your lingerie was waiting for you, leaving Harry on the bed completely dumbstruck and needy. 

As soon as you close the bathroom door, you immediately begin working on removing your dress, pulling the zipper down to loosen it up and shrugging it off your body leaving you completely naked. As you looked in the mirror, you began to debate on whether or not you wanted to surprise him with being all naked or teasing him and making him work for it a little with the lingerie you had out and ready. Even though you were ready to just run back out there completely naked and just get down to business, you decided to put on the lingerie and let Harry unwrap you. As you put it on, all you could think about was Harry taking it all off. Like you could imagine him pulling it all off your body. With your panties especially, you could picture him pulling them off strings of your arousal coming with them. After getting the lacy garments on your body, you start pulling and moving it all around a bit. Once you’re all done with the lingerie, you pull the little sheer robe that came along with it on and you take a couple deep breaths before making your way back out to Harry. When you walk back into the bedroom, Harry’s eyes immediately shoot in your direction and practically pop out of his head when he sees you. He’d seen you in a two piece bathing suit before but that was about it. He’d never seen you this bare and exposed before. As you moved around the room to light the candles, Harry’s eyes followed your every move  and you could feel it. You could feel his eyes burning holes into your skin as you lit the candles and really set the mood for your time together. After you lit the candles and pressed play for your music, you were all ready to go. 

When you turn your full attention to Harry, you weren’t that surprised to see him fighting to quietly palm at his cock on the bed. His eyes were tightly closed as he squeezed his cock through his underwear. He was so engrossed on keeping himself quiet and relieving some of the pressure that had been mounting from the time he left home that he didn’t even notice you crawling up the bed. What he does notice though is you straddling his thighs, when he feels you on top of him, his eyes immediately shoot open and he quickly retracts his hand from his lap.

“You just look so good, I couldn’t help myself.” He rushes out in explanation. He could see it all. Your breasts were sitting perfectly in the lacy bra you were wearing, and from where Harry was, they looked beyond amazing. When his eyes traveled a bit lower, he could see where the two sides of your panties met to form a barely there strip to cover your pussy. If that wasn’t enough, the fabric was clinging to you and pushing up into your folds since the panties were pretty much nonexistent and you were very wet. He’d pictured you on top of him before, just never like this.

“Well I’m glad you like it because it’s all yours.” You reply, moving yourself up his body to sit right in his lap, causing Harry to gasp from the sight and feeling of you being naked and right on his cock. Harry was in sensory overload and so overwhelmed that he couldn’t form a single word in response. “Are you okay baby?” You softly ask, bringing your hand down to his cheek.

“Mhm…you just look so good, I don’t know where to start.” He whispers, bringing his eyes to meet yours. 

“You could start by touching me.” You suggest, reaching down to grab Harry’s hand and bring it up to one of your thighs to which Harry replicates with his other hand. Instead of rushing him along, you wanted him to explore your body and relax into the intimacy. You wanted him to be comfortable and do the things he’d dreamt of and feel the things he always wanted to feel. “And just relax” You begin, leaning down to bring your mouth to his ear. “I have a strong feeling that you’re gonna be really good at this.” You admit to him before lifting yourself back up. When Harry hears this, he eases up. Hearing that you thought he’d be good was the confidence boost he needed to get the ball rolling.

He begins to move his hands up your thighs, curling his thumbs inward towards the inner, more sensitive area. His hands continue on up your body, pushing past your hips, and all the way up to your chest where he brings both of his hands around to wrap them around your covered breasts. When he does this, you let out a little sigh of relief, loving the way his big hands felt around you. Harry loved how soft and squishy they felt in his hands, and he wanted to feel more. So he pushes his hands underneath your arms and manages to swiftly undo your bra. He couldn’t do it with one hand yet but you were very impressed (and even more turned on) at how he as able to quickly do it on his first try. The fabric is now hanging loosely on your body, allowing Harry to pull it down and off your body to fully expose your breasts to him. Your nipples were fully pebbled and practically screaming for him to play with them. He brings his hands back around, going straight to your breasts and right to your nipples. His fingers tugged and twisted at them, leaving you unable to hold back anymore moans that were threatening to spill out of your mouth. You also couldn’t help but to grind down against his clothed cock, which in turn caused Harry to start moaning beneath you. The soft music was now completely overpowered by your combined moans. 

“Can I be on top?” He pants, dying to get you completely naked and explore your body.

“Anything you want!” You exclaim, through one of your moans. Letting Harry take control of everything, you let him flip you two over so that he’s hovering over your body. As soon as he’s on top of you, Harry’s mouth immediately latches onto your skin, starting at the side your your neck. He starts sponging and sucking wet kisses into your skin, leaving a trail of them down your chest, stopping at the tops of your breasts so that he could pay them some more attention. The takes them both into his mouth individually and suckles on them, lapping his wet tongue around your nipples and squeezing the supple flesh surrounding them. For some reason, Harry felt at home with his mouth around your nipples. It was so good that Harry was rutting his clothed cock against you. As he continues, you’re softly moaning from the pleasure. You had a hand wrapped in his hair and the other on his back as he mouthed at your breasts. And as if he could read your mind, Harry picks up where he left off with his trail of kisses and makes his way further down your body. 

You wanted him to just explore your body and touch and feel you the way you knew he’d imagined. But you really wanted him between your legs. Your cunt had swallowed up the panties by now and the panties were nothing more than a damp piece of string at this point. When he makes it to the hand of your panties, Harry’s heart begins to speed up, excited to take them off and see what was underneath. He pushes his fingers into the thin bands that were wrapped around your hips and he begins to pull them down. He carefully watches as your cunt is being revealed to him. He can see how you were sopping wet and how plushy and soft your pussy was. There were strings of your arousal connecting your cunt and panties as he pulled them from between your legs. Once they fully off of you, and you’re completely naked, Harry lifts himself up from between your legs to soak in your naked body. He couldn’t believe how beautiful your naked body looked for him. You looked so soft and pretty below him, completely spread and exposed to him.

“Y’so pretty baby.” He sighs, bringing his hands down to your thighs. “Can I eat you baby?” He sweetly asks, bringing his eyes down between your legs so look at the sticky mess that was between your thighs. 

“Please Harry!” You moan, desperately needing his mouth on you again. At your response, Harry lays back down on the bed between your spread legs. He could smell your arousal and he was incredibly excited to taste you. He’d never don’t this before so he was a bit nervous that he wouldn’t do that good of a job. “Just lick into me baby, nothing to be nervous about.” You remind above him, bringing your hand to his head to give his hair a little tug. And with that, Harry dives right in. He just buries his face into your cunt, lapping his tongue up and down your folds. He pushed his tongue anywhere he could. He pushed between your folds, nestling his tongue right inside and against your entrance. He could feel the small opening and his cock immediately twitched in his pants. His cock was supposed to fit in there? While he didn’t want to hurt you, Harry was so interested and curious to see how you’d take all of him. He knew it wasn’t impossible but it was definitely something he was excited to see in person. He was so excited that he couldn’t stop himself from digging his hips into the mattress below. You tasted so good, you were incredibly warm, and he was beyond excited to feel your cunt around his cock.

You on the other hand were falling apart at the seams. You were on cloud nine, completely obsessed with the way he was licking into you. His strokes weren’t those of someone who was skilled and had done this before. But they were definitely amazing and you couldn’t get enough. He was licking and sucking on you perfectly, he even managed to find your clit. And it was his first time ever. He even tried pushing the tip of his tongue into your entrance, prodding at your tight hole. And on top of all that, he was moaning against you, seemingly enjoying how you tasted. When he wasn’t licking at your cunt, Harry was licking your thighs, almost trying to clean you up. He licked your thighs, the area right outside of your pussy, and he even licked the area below your cunt. He was hypnotized by your cunt. He just wanted to stay between your legs forever and have his mouth on you while he humped the bed below him. Of course he wanted to push his cock into you, but after he ate your cunt.

“Need you inside me Harry!” You scream, bucking your hips up into his mouth a bit. You were feeling incredibly sensitive and you could feel your own release coming. And before you came, you needed to feel Harry’s cock inside of you. When he hears you beg for him to be inside of you, he immediately stops and pulls himself up from the bed. When he’s kneeling between your legs, your eyes travel up from his no doubt painfully large bulge to his face. From his mouth down to his chin, even his nose, Harry’s face was glistening with your juices.

“Whats so funny?” He asks confusedly.

“Your face is all wet.” You reply, a wide smile spread across your face in the process.

“I just love eating your pussy.” He says truthfully, leaning down for a kiss. When your lips connect, you wrap your arms around Harry’s neck to keep him down against you. His lips sloppily move against yours, moaning into your mouth as he pushes his clothed cock against your bare and incredibly sensitive cunt. Keeping one of his elbows planted on the bed, Harry brings his other hand down to his boxers and does his best to push them down his legs. He struggles a bit before finally getting them down enough to expose his cock. When you feel him nudge you a little bit, you immediately turn your mouth away from Harry’s, turning your attention downwards between his legs.

“Need some help baby?” You offer, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and extending them down to his hips. 

“Just need t’take them off.” He replies, quickly lifting himself up from on top of you to fully remove his boxers. Harry then goes back to kneeling between your legs, now with his painfully hard and dripping cock on display. You knew that he was big from the glances you’d taken at his pants a couple times, but you didn’t know that he was this big. He was hands down the biggest you’d ever taken, and no one before him ever came close. On top of his monstrous size, you could see the thick veins running up his shaft and you saw precum beading at his swollen slit. You wanted him inside you first, but your mouth was definitely watering. You couldn’t wait until you were able to take him into your mouth and stuff all of him inside. But for now, you were excited to take him inside of you for the first time and be his first time.

“Are you ready babe?” You ask. 

“Mhm. I um- I bought some condoms just in case. It’s up to you though. I trust that you’re all good.” He says, laughing a little in the end. 

“I bought some too. But I think we’re good. And I trust that you’re all good as well.” You reply with a shy smile.

“Okay then, let’s do this.” He cheerfully says. 

“Let’s do it!” You reply, mirroring his excitement. “Do you want me on top or are you good?”

“I think I’m good.” He says, as he leans down to closely hover over you. “But I know you’re going to feel like heaven so I may not be.” 

“That’s okay, I can take control.” You reply suggestively, pulling your lower lip between your teeth. 

“Good, I like the sound of that.” He whispers in agreement, connecting his mouth with yours for one final kiss as he slowly and carefully pushes his cock against your folds. “Fuck, m’gonna push in now baby.” He pants, already losing his shit over how warm and wet your folds feel against his cock.

“Please.” You moan, needing to be full of his cock. 

And with that, Harry begins to push his cock into you, using one of his hands to guide himself inside. When Harry pushes past your entrance, you two lose it. You were so tight that when his engorged head pushes into you, there a piercing sensation that comes along with it. You hadn’t had sex in a very long time and Harry’s size was completely unmatched. For Harry, he was on the verge of collapsing on top of you. You were so so tight and warm and wet, he’d never felt anything like it. No matter how much lube he used or how fast he tugged at his shaft, he never and would never be able to match the decadence of your walls around him. And he’d only pushed the head of him inside. He actually had to stop for a second to get his bearings because his head was spinning. Once he’s caught his breath and the room stopped spinning as fast, Harry continues pushing himself inside. With every inch that becomes sheathed with your walls, your combined moans get louder. Your mouths mouth never closed, and your eyes fluttered shut as you two enjoyed the pleasure. You were in love with the perfectly balanced mix of pain and pleather came from Harry pushing into and stretching your your walls a bit to accommodate his size. Harry was taken to a different universe from the way your walls engulfed his cock. You could even feel him twitch a bit from how good he felt. 

By the time he finished pushing into you, Harry’s cock was lodged all the way inside you. So deep you could just about feel him in the pit of your stomach. It was hands down incredible for the two of you. After holding himself inside of you for a little while, Harry begins to move himself back and forth inside of you. Since it was his first time doing this and feeling this for that matter, his thrusts were a bit sloppy and staggered. He tried to form a faster rhythm, or a rhythm at all but he was so overwhelmed. 

“Thought I could hold it longer, but I don’t think I can. Can’t even hold myself up.” He slurs, trying to continue with his thrusts. 

“Gonna get on top baby.” You moan, feeling your own release getting even closer. Without a single hesitation, you push the two of you over to that you’re on top of him, straddling his waist and keeping his cock deep inside of you. Once your adjusted on top of him, feeling like his cock was deeper than before if that was even possible, you begin to move yourself up and down on him. You weren’t going super fast, you were going fast enough to make you and Harry really feel it and get closer and closer to your releases. Harry was loudly moaning and whimpering below you, tightly intertwining his fingers with yours as he surrenders to you, and your pussy. He thrashed his head back and forth against the pillows from how good he was feeling. 

“Y’so big!” You cry out to him, beginning to quickly grind down onto his cock, pushing forward a bit to dig your clit into his lower stomach. “And so deep! Can feel you all the way in here!” You cry out to him, bringing your intertwined hands up to your lower stomach for him to feel.

“Fuck Y/n! Can’t hold it anymore! Need t’cum” He groans, feeling his release beginning to consume his body.

“Me too baby! We can cum together!” You whimper, leaning down to lay on his chest. And as you begin to leave soft kisses on Harry’s lips and face, your walls begin to contract around his cock, signaling to him that you were cumming. When he felt this, Harry came right along with you. He coats all of your walls in his warm, thick, and sticky cum, spraying rope after rope into you until he couldn’t cum anymore. Your legs were full on shaking as you squirted all over his cock. The both of you were moaning messes and completely dumbstruck at how powerful your releases were. Nothing could ever compare to this and neither of you wanted to test out that theory. After letting go of everything you two had to give, you and Harry lied limply in bed, letting your bodies rest.

“I love you baby.” Harry whispers sluggishly below you.

“I love you too baby.” You softly reply back to him, nuzzling your face into his warm neck.

For the next half hour, the two of you lay there together, resting your bodies and minds from the extraordinary experience the two of you had. You two were lying there peacefully, enjoying the feeling of each others bodies and the music that was still playing through your speaker. Out of the two of you, Harry was the first to break the silence. Except, it wasn’t from him talking. It was from his stomach, letting the both of you know that he needed to be fed asap. 

“When we can feel our legs again, we can eat I guess.” You breathe out through a laugh, still recovering from the most amazing sex you’d ever had and probably some of the best sex of all human history in your opinion. Even though it was his first time, Harry still managed to make a mess of you. 

“Mhm, and then we can go again.” He hums dreamily, not even caring about his grumbling stomach, completely in the clouds from how amazing his first time was. He came in with his “expectations” and was completely blown out of the water. He just wanted to go again and again and again until he was fully numb and wiped out. “Maybe you can be on your front this time.” He suggests, thinking of all the ways he wanted to feel you around him.

“I think I may have created a sex monster.” And to be honest, you really didn’t mind that at all.

“Only for you my love.” He hums, wrapping his arms around your body. 

And for the rest of the night, you and Harry never stopped, loving being tangled up in each other. It wasn’t always in bed, but neither of you cared. All you two cared about was being together, feeling good, and being in love. This was truly a special valentine. It was one that neither you nor Harry would ever forget.

Masterlist

#Harry Styles #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry x reader #harry styles writing #my harry writing #boyfriend!harry #inexperienced!harry #concepts of h #A Series Of Firsts #harrywritingsbyme

[essaysbyciara]

It’s Been A Long Time | Nebraska Williams x Black!PlusSize Reader [Part 1/?]

Warnings: language, smut thoughts (my ministry!)

So this has been in my drafts for a *HOT MINUTE* but that photo of Trevante in high school triggered a release. If people dig where it could be going, I will add it to my list of stuff to finish and open up a taglist. I’ll try my best to do so, I promise! lol

“God, I played this album out…” Lil’ Wayne’s seminal album, The Carter, didn’t age at all. Back in 2004, Wayne was a secret about to bubble over to superstardom, just years shy of lollipops and Static Major (rest in peace). Wayne represented the teenage angst of your time, even though you toiled in the suburbs while he wrestled with the streets. But as “On My Own” damn near explodes your factory speakers, a high pitch ping from your phone pauses your trip down memory lane. 

Message from Sheena: Let’s catch up before the babies wake up. 

You hit the call button on your dash once you stop at a red light. 

“Girl, hey. You on your way to work?”

“Ain’t I always, Shi Shi? Damn near almost overslept. Thought I missed my flight.” 

Sheena, or Shi Shi, is the epitome of a best-friend-forever. You two met in Ms. Grayson’s civics class, 11th grade. On the first day of school, you rolled into third period wearing a Scream Tour II t-shirt and if you were to describe Sheena in that moment, jealous wasn’t even the word.  She stanned hard for Lil’ Bow Wow but her mom wouldn’t let her go to the concert because she got caught with a boy in her room. That boy is now the husband half-way responsible for the twin girls she’s hoping will give her some grace by sleeping a little bit longer. 

“Damn. You wanna gift some of that sleep to these twins, God mommy?”

“Only if you gift me some of those post-pregnancy boobs, Mommy Dearest,”

“Can’t do that. Jarell been having too much fun with those!” 

“Girl, eww. I don’t need to know all that.”

You kinda did. Sheena’s stories were always live, wild and uncut. And the only fireworks you’ve been adjacent to in months since you broke up with that lame stockbroker, Keith. You curve around the airport parking lot as Sheena starts digging deep into her latest soft-core episode with her husband since the six weeks ain’t up yet. In between interjections of how nasty Jarrell could be and watching planes taxi in the distance, you cruise through Instagram to take inventory of what your day might be like. 

Managing social media for the biggest sports publication in the country was not the fulfillment of a dream after high school because, shit,  social media didn’t exist when you were in high school. But it’s what has you just hours away from a flight to the NFL Combine in Indianapolis, sitting in a parking lot, listening to your BFF’s slow burn sexcapades. You break up the audio immersion experience once your timeline displays something else to ruminate over.

“Sheena! Shi -- shut up! I can’t believe - you remember Lisa from high school? She got married ...and it ain’t to Brasco.” 

“Whaaaa… you can finally stop making u-turns in the hallway and snag your man!”

You didn’t appreciate the lowly dig from your friend about Nebraska “Brasco” Williams, star running back, track champion and boy so fine he made both Omarion and J-Boog look like ogres. Your high school crush had you shook to your pubescent core; pretty teeth, deep skin tone and two tattoos before the age of eighteen. You’d see him in the student parking lot with the rest of the football team and you’d rush to your car as if it would go home without you. He was too hot to handle. You were beyond envious that Lisa could. 

“Lisa ain’t do too bad. Her man is crazy fine. I mean, not Brasco fine but still…” 

“Man,  he had high school going crazy. I wonder what happened to him after that fight? I should stalk him on Facebook while I pump.” You laugh so hard, the couple walking past your car stops their argument to stare at you. 

Your laughs break once you realize you might actually miss that flight. You relegate Shi Shi to kiss the twins for you and to send his Facebook profile if she can actually find it. You tried years ago and failed. 

“Aight, fave. I will.  Love you. Text me when you touch down in Indy.” 

As you weave through the terminal, your mind thinks back to the days at New Birth High School. While it brought you joy in a forever friend and the launching point for your forever career in sports journalism, it did bring you one of the most hurtful days of your life that took years to shake. 

It was the summer going into your senior year. Lisa’s sweet sixteen pool party. No way in Hell you thought you’d be there but your Mom and Lisa’s stepmom sat on the same deacon board at church and somehow thought you two were friends; Lisa paid you dust in those hallways. You fretted over every part of your outfit, especially the swim shoes you didn’t want but your Dad picked up at Sports Authority. But you were fretting the most over your swimsuit, a red one-piece with a deep open back. It was sexy for a 16-year-old, to be honest, but you secretly tried it on at the mall and fell in love with it -- especially how it made you feel. 

You fell in deep love with your body that day. The way the swimsuit clenched your waist, giving your almost-pear shape some definition you’d never seen before. Your hips sat wide, your breast placed taunt, just peeking through the sides, showing off a crescent shaped birthmark right below your collarbone. It was Jet Beauty of the Week-esque and it made you feel on top of the world. Something that society kept telling you a plus-size teenage girl was not to feel. You used the last of your paper route money to buy it and hid your secret weapon in the back of your closet until the day arrived. You were hoping to get some boy’s attention -- especially Brasco. But you’d take anybody’s glare if you could get it. 

You were in the clear once your Mom dropped you and Sheena both off at Lisa’s back gate. As you walked into the party, the sounds of the local hip-hop and R&B radio station blasted throughout her huge backyard. So much fun was had -- so much splash and dash -- that the faint sounds of “Knuck If You Buck” failed to erupt a party full of teenagers it was made for. The pool seemed tempting in 90-plus heat but most of the temptation came from the jacuzzi next to it. There inside sat Brasco, his lanky on-field wide receiver sidekick Kenny and Jarell, Sheena’s partner-in-bedroom-bust crime looking delicious in their highlighter-color swim trunks. You were still figuring out your body and the reactions conjured up from the sight of water droplets chasing down their backs confused you even more. But the heat of the sun -- and the heat from your body -- got too much to bear. That pool called your name. 

You stripped off your t-shirt and denim shorts, leaving your swim shoes back by the picnic table. They clashed. Your nerves splashed together like the water you couldn’t wait to feel, battering against your heart. Were you ready for all this attention? Amongst the rest of the classmates, you disappeared. You weren’t popular. People knew of you but didn’t know you, only associating you with Sheena by proxy of Jarell. “My Goodies” came on the radio, providing you a soundtrack and a sign from God. Before you could answer the call, Sheena jumped into the pool. You tossed your glasses on top of your clothes and did the same. 

The water felt golden. Sheena smacked your face with sheets of chlorinated goodness. Too much fun was had by all, even Lisa joined in the fun. Suddenly the entire football team did too except Brasco and Jarell, languishing on the edge of the jacuzzi because like most boys from their side of town, they didn’t know how to swim. Lisa saw her boo in isolation and tapped Sheena on the shoulder. 

“Hey, Shi Shi. Let’s get in the jacuzzi.” Sheena grabbed your hand to guide you out of the pool. You weren’t expecting to see your Mom at the other end. Sheena didn’t grab you to join her in the warm bubbles, she got you out at the angry-faced-behest of your mother. You both were going home. The party silenced and stares followed as everyone watched your walk-of-shame to grab your clothes. You got what you wanted in the worst way possible. 

Your unholy exodus commenced when Lisa’s mom called yours to report what she saw: this red bathing suit too revealing for a little girl to wear. It wasn’t the green ruffled mess-of-a-bathing-suit from last year. She claimed to witness stares and whispers and “boobs hanging out, butt all out.” Your mom got over there quicker than a church shout. She waited to scold you after she dropped off Sheena. 

It was a Sunday School scolding like no other. Tears pooled deep like the one you were just having fun in. You tossed the bathing suit into the trash bin. You were never going to see it again. 

The announcement of your flight breaks you out of your day nightmare. Grabbing the handle on your suitcase, you see a text with an attachment from Sheena. 

Girllllllllllll. I found Brasco and babyyyyyyyyyyy… 

You gasp. Time did a wonder on him in all the right ways. He packed on even more muscle, chiseling out the navy thermal dressing his upper body. Teeth still bright, Moonlight-bright. His Omarion-Pandemonium-era braids were gone, now donning a clean fade with perfect waves. His stance meant business, a lot of it risky. You bite your lower lip to mask the “damn!” urging a release from you, staring at his picture so intensely that you damn near walk into the stewardess checking your boarding pass. 

You couldn’t wait to get to your first-class seat. You needed a safe space to drown in your own splash waterfalls. You beg Sheena to send you his profile, looking to make some more of that mess and she obliges. Scrolling through his Facebook, you see nothing. You needed him to match your uncleanliness. Another text from Sheena breaks you out of your spell. 

Ain’t shit on here though. I can’t find an Instagram or anything. That’s where the dirt is at lol 

You put your social media skills to work. Ain’t an Instagram profile that you can’t find. Nebraska Williams brings up nothing. Such a unique name and nothing to show for it. 

Maybe Jarell can follow him, Shi. 

Jarell ain’t on this thing. He hates all this stuff. You want me to follow him? 

Girl, yes! I need more pictures! I’m trying to find his ‘gram and no diceeeeeee. Ughhhh. 

Damn the “no cell phone until after lift off” announcement. You then try “Brasco”, too many names -- rappers, really--  and a dog company to boot. “Brasco Williams” yields no results. You couldn’t wait what could be hours, days,  weeks, maybe never, for a response from Brasco to Sheena’s friend request. 

You pull up Google as a last ditch effort. The results bring up what only seems to be archives from your now-defunct city newspaper covering one of Nebraska’s record-setting games from 2005. You know to quit while you’re ahead until you see a Youtube video: “Nebraska Williams (RB) New Birth High School (MD). uploaded by Donyell Williams. You remember Donyell as this boy who played too damn much in Geometry class but right now, he’s Brasco’s cousin who's Instagram profile came up on the first search. Thank God his profile wasn’t private. You scroll back far enough to hit the jackpot. 

I found it! @donniebrascowill is his Instagram. 

Sheena was right about the dirt. His posts were bare but his stories carried enough. Enough shirtless, weightlifting, fresh-out-the-barbershop-got-to-show-you-the-fade dirt. You hit the follow button before the stewardess asked for your drink selection. 

End of Part I

#trevante rhodes x reader #trevante rhodes x fanfiction #nebraska williams

[straighttohellbuddy]

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me 

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes 

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in 

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

#Anonymous #how the light gets in #corpse husband x reader #black cat anon

[lovenona]

me, waking up: oh another day. then, after reading your answer: HOLY SHIT. guess i'm now the loving ramble enabler (LRE?). and DO NOT apologize for being passionate about smt that makes you happy you lovely human being that u are! hearing you ramble (how many times will i use this word idek) about the creation process made my day dammit! and i can assure you, reading about it is as good as reading the masterpiece itself, especially considering how good you are at manifesting the vibes (tm) (pt1)

(pt 2 bc word count sucks) how did you first get interested in pirate history? (if you don't mind me asking ofc) *slides 15 bucks* please, be my guest. do tell us more about the writing/revision process. sincerely, a genuinely interested person currently wondering why the fuck tumblr won't let her do a paragraph break. have a lovely night/day!

bestie ur rly enabling me 😭 ur so sweet skSJKAJSk i will tell u so much under this god damn cut 

first because this is the easy response: how did u get interested in pirate history????

short answer: keira knightley in pirates of the caribbean BYE 💀

long answer: it’s basically a mix of those movies being a centerpiece of my childhood and me just thinking pirates are cool SKJSKAj i’m very much into history n my uni had a course on ‘history of pirates’ last spring so i took it as smth to do during quarantine and i ended up really loving it !!! i’m actually workin on historical fiction short story abt anne bonny and mary read rn which required me to do a lot more research on pirates (under the black flag by david cordingly is a very good book on piracy!) and my research has been very interesting just in general and for writing the odyssey – i've incorporated little historical tidbits here n there to add to the world-building :’)

next: ur writing process

ok so let’s go cray besties i’m going to tell u abt the life of adele writing the odyssey!!!! i’ll try talking abt this in some semblance of a logical step-by-step

1. manifesting vibes + outline

i talked abt this last time but manifesting the vibes is very important ! the first things i like to do when getting ready to write a new chapter is define the setting – place(s), weather, time, and general mood 

while i have a pretty good idea of how many chapters it will be and where the odyssey ends, i usually don’t plan a chapter in super great detail until it’s time to sit down n write it. i have general points of people to include + things that would be important to the plot + vibes i hope to include (parts 6 and 7 r gonna SLAP!!), but these never get fleshed out until it’s Time. my outlines are therefore usually not very detailed because i like to give the odyssey room to do its own thing – i find it important that the story takes its time and we get to the important stuff whenever it wants us to. an outline will usually b something like, in the case of the furies call part 2: 

find megumi, talk abt his role in the zenin clan – naoya arrives on shore and shit hits the fan – run to find mai, maki fights her father – fight between naoya and todou – todou dies because you can’t kill naoya – sukuna rescues reader and it ends

after i have smth that looks like this as well as a decently clear idea of how everything will look and feel we get started!!

2. writing (pain)

arguably the worst stage for any creator! writing! at this point i genuinely just let go and let god tbh. i have no idea how i do things at this stage other than see how many commas + dumb poetic phrases i can include SKKSJKA – sometimes things just happen and it’s really cool!! for example in part 4 i didn’t know the guns warehouse was going to blow up until i was writing it and it just happened 

i do have a set quota of words i meet every time i sit down to write so that i A. feel accomplished and happy when i'm done, even if it sucks and B. don’t get burnout and start hating what i do. this stage is always difficult because writing is just hard and takes a lot of brainpower and self-discipline </3

i wld say the hardest part is that i run the risk of getting very overwhelmed – by the complexities of the plot, by how fucking long it takes me to write, by how much work writing itself is ! for example, abt 7k or so into part 5 i started having the worst existential dread when i realized that this chapter was not even halfway done and i wld have to surpass 15k before it was (at the time of writing this, part 5 is 16.3 💀) it just gets hard sometimes to overcome that and maintain the motivation to keep going and know that everything will be fine when it’s done – thankfully everyone here is so patient and sweet so it makes me feel better when i'm taking forever and/or need time off <333

basically, as always, the pain of writing is just having to write and come to terms with the fact no one else is going to manifest it for u. and have fun too!! writing is only fun when ur writing what u think is cool 

3. revision (less pain)

one of the fun stages, but also the point when i start to become impatient! writing an odyssey chapter can easily take 2.5-3 weeks even if i'm writing my quota every single day (part 5 took roughly 3 weeks of writing every god damn afternoon) and after that i spend another few weeks just going back and rereading/fixing everything. 

i basically start by rereading sections of the chapter to change sentence structure, grammar, dialogue, or whatever else i don’t like – sometimes sentences sound stupid or certain things don’t make a whole lot of sense so i like to go back and polish up! for example i changed the arrival of maki/mai/nobara in furies call part 1 about ten times before i decided it made sense to me

this step can be horrendous because i'll often write things really shitty in the first draft with a “i’ll come back to this later” mindset and then get mad at myself later for being a hoe <//3

in essence, i'm a horrible perfectionist so i will usually reread everything and change or add things multiple times before i think i'm finally ready to share. most of the time, as the chapter gets closer and closer to completion i become more and more hyper-fixated on it – i’ll start spending almost all of my free time just rereading and looking for minor fixes or places that don’t vibe as well. 

at the end of this step, my favorite thing to do before i queue the chapter up to post is sit down and just read the entire thing once or twice and give it one last kiss before i send her off into the world <3

so anyway there’s my ted talk of how i usually make the odyssey ! i vibe, write, revise n take forever to do all three steps but that’s just part of the fun! thank u for tuning in if u have any other questions u wld like me to overshare on i am more than happy to talk abt it :’)

#this was fun to ramble abt thank u so much LRE #I really enjoyed it #thank u!!!! #letters to adele #the odyssey!

[cryptic-michael]

Was tagged by @valkrist for an ao3 taglist tag game thingy!

Name(s): WTSL_writer_of_things (on ao3) 

Fandom(s): Peaky Blinders (my more popular) The Andy Griffith show(old as fuck I know) unspecified fandom, Actor RPF(it’s just Cary Grant and self indulgence and for a friend) and another I refuse to mention. But I want to add more and do more fandoms, maybe attempt the Dracula one?? 

Where you post: Maaaaan...Dudes I barely update and post like...most a03 but I need to start making links. 

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): I can’t tell anyone why this is my most popular fic, I fucking despits it’s existance....  “Italian New Yorker, and Birmingham Gypsy.”

Favorite story you’ve written so far: I loved it...I loved it so fucking much, it was a circus au I made on a whim after watching an hour or two hour long PBS thing about the circus, and I made a peaky blinders acrobatics AU where Luca was in acrobatics...I loved it so much, and I deleted it because no one, not a soul but 3 read it...not even a single kudo so I deleted it, and I’m sad now because I never went back to make it again... It has since then been replaced with my “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” story which is soft...but I love most of my works even if I loath them, but they are still nice to look at. 

Fic you were nervous to post: The O/B/A one I was terrifed to post, as well as the first “real” fic which is god...it cringy....I didn’t know what I was doing back then, still don’t really. But the one that I’m still scared of but love, is the unmachinable series, the one I shall never speak of, the strange outlandish, whim one...the one I adore, that is popular by view, that one, every update, I’m scared something bad will happen one day in the comments or something. 

How do you choose your titles?: Honestly?? Used to it was just sitting and staring, putting random words together and settings or something, sometimes key phrasing or words, now I just...get weird strange trippy unusual titles of odd ball colors, or historical old thing, or strange double meaning things and slap in on as a title...have a whole note doc filled with weird colors and double meaning things. (Good examples are, “Boysenberry Tie and Periwinkle eyes” “Of Deep Ocean Blue”)

Do you outline?: Menially? Fuck yeah vaguely my dude...realistically and making good plot? Fuck no....I make this shit up as I go, and it’s probably why updates are so far between because I need a mood, a thought, and specific things to get things turning in the brain. 

Complete: 0 or 1....I haven’t got SHIT completed, not even a series like....I have this one, it’s fucking gonna be 6 or 7 stories TOPS and I have one, 1 fucking fic posted.........so that one fic counts as simi completed, and god...don’t get me started on the one fic that need literally ONE chapter...

In-Progress: To much...But lest start at the top. “A True Mishap I swear” Needs patching up severly and needs lots of fixings, and also chapter updates. “Italian New Yorker and Birmingham Gypsy” Made...god fucking forever ago, probably going to just orphan it, there’s no hope for that or Ture mishap... “We’ll make it Work” It’s not bad! It just needs the last FUCKING CHAPTER THAT I CANNOT WRITE TO SAVE MY LIFE!!!!!!! “[Forbidden story will not state title]” Great acutely, going good, need to update it, have an idea, have a draft, and need to figure out how to introduce someone else that might be a love interest or just dear dear friend, need someone to get arrested on accident to meet the possible intrest...cat get’s introduce, just a pet cat...yeah. There's other’s but I don’t wanna talk about the Andy Griffith show fic....that’s for my eyes, and those few others who read it only...we don’t talk about it. 

Coming soon/not yet started: You would not believe your eyes, you would not believe your eye, you would not believe your eyes!!! At the sheer amount of work, and WIPs, and Ideas, and thoughts, and remakes, and retellings, and fixups and other things, and just...literally at least, at LEAST 4 or 5 fics I want to write are just not gonna be specified fandom because it’s gonna be a dumping ground for my original works or remakes of something. And let’s not go into the forbidden knowledge that is just fukcidjs Mostar fucking and biting kinks from vampires', god man like.....the peaky fics I could generate the rate my mind makes these fic ideas could power a small town I bet.  @murswrites  @jeonggukieandcream @abusivelittlebunny @100dabbo @literly all the other writers I follow and am friends with but am to scared to tag. 

#Again I beee sleeeeepyyyy #SO tired #but so awe at tage game #woooooooo' #thanks bro for the tah\ #umm.... #yeah #valkrisk got thier fic game togather #unlie me who is...unhoinged possum in mental distress #at all times' #yeah' #tag game #feel free to jain a;;;

[rynhaswritersblock]

tiktok famous (hc) - part two | p.p.

summary: a whole bunch of dif tiktoks featuring you and bae peter

warnings: chaotic energy, cussing, and BUTTERFLIES

+ + +

- i'm backkkkkkkkk

- so y'all really enjoyed the last tiktok imagine

- and you wanted another

- SO HERE WE GO BABYYYYYYYYY!!

- so basically....

- (just enjoy it)

- i got a lot of tiktok related comments and requests and i hope i remember them all

- (big boobs? whew chile) ANYWAYS SO:

- like pretty much none of them link together so this hc is going to be split into sections of like... blurbs!!

- yayayayayaya

- this one is inspired by @drecming

- so i think most of us know this very special sound..

- ...

- CAN'T TAKE BIG DICK BUT I SUCK ON IT

- y eah

- so as per usual

- you and peter b chillin

- they really do b vibin doe

- OH BY THE WAY

- y'all are dating in this situation :)))))))))

- and as you're binge watching your favorite show you can't stop doing the hand motions to that friggin dance

- aka the epidemic of generation z

- i keep doing the sugar by brockhampton dance i literally can't stop it's fine

- and thank god peter somehow doesn't notice

- like your movements are so subtle but you deadass keep doing it like once per minute

- and so you get up

- like "fuck this, man. if it's stuck in my head i'm at least gonna make a tiktok"

- and so you set it up

- peter's still on the couch in the background

- this boy STILL doesn't really notice what you're doing

- to be fair hsmtmts is a very enticing show ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- but as soon as the audio plays peter recognizes it

- his head WHIPS over to you

can't take big dick but i suck on it

- he raises an eyebrow at you

i ain't fucking with the pussy, got a bump on it

- *eyebrow raise intensifies*

bad bitch put the pussy on me (on me)

- he sits up, watching as your hips roll (oh man)

whip out my dick then i hump on it

- he slightly cringes at the lyrics me too peter

i'm a bad ass bitch, what you lookin at?

- your butt

ima throw that-

- "oH NO YOU DON'T!" he yells, slight smile on his face as he swiftly shoots a web at you, the string wrapping around your waist and spinning you to him

- the song continues to play as you snort, wheezing as he balances you

- the video finishes and you raise your eyebrows at him

- "no throwing it back on camera," he says pointedly

- you tilt your head in a way that screams peter i love you but you and i both know that i can do what i wanna do and over-protectiveness can be toxic

- he sighs

- "okay, you can, but i'd like it better if it were just for me"

...

- HAHAHAHA

- okay NEXT ONE

- this next one is inspired by @ritxal

- in this one you can choose your relationship

- so peter is a natural born softboy

- he didn't choose the softboy life, the softboy life chose him

- but here's the thing

- it was friday night

- you were bored

- and you decided

- it was time for a change

- and so you approached the man

- who happened to be upside down

- because when is he not

- and, ignoring his protests, gave him an e-boy makeover

- poor peter was decked the fuck out

- striped long sleeve

- band tee

- black ripped jeans wITH THE CHAIN

- nike socks and af1s

- beanie

- and most importantly

- black nails and a little black heart under his left eye

- just picture it p lease

- and it his transformation was posted on your account to forever embarrass him

- and you lowkey found this look a lil wee bit ATTRACTIVE

- whatever

- okey this one's for you @lilmissquackson !!!!!!!

- y'all ever seen the without me (halsey) ones??

- ye

- even if you haven't you'll still get it lol

- so you're in class

- learning about sokovia because history and shit

- and, bored as hecc, you decide to whip out your phone and copy this video you'd seen

- you begin filming and place your right hand on top of peter's left (yay classmates!! sitting next to each other WHOOP!)

- his gaze is hard on his paper as he continues to scribble down notes

- you turn the camera to him for a bit and you're like yes perfect

- and then you return the camera and pull your hand away

- and he REACHES OVER AND TAKES YOUR HAND BACK

- AND YOU'RE LIKE  Y E S

- IT WORKED OUT

- PLUS HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW AND HE'S SO CUTE

- you put the phone down, smiling, adjusting your hand a little before you realize you can't take notes anymore because your hand is occupied and using your left hand just aint it period (a/n: im so sorry if any of y'all are left handed lol but pretend y'all are in opposite positions so he has your left hand haha)

- and it's then that he looks at you

- and if his eyes don't make you MELT

- okay i'm sorry that last one was mediocre but you get the point

- alright so like in this process of writing this i've been struggling a bit with details and stuff and making it sound good and funny so they're gonna be short and sweet bc i literally don't know What To Do :)))))))))))))))))

- back to your regularly scheduled programming hell yeah

- this one's for you, @drecming

- back at it again with the ideas!!!! fuck yes!!!

- okay SO

- you seen those "i'm on my savage shit" ones?

- where the guys hand is on the girl's thigh (OR IF YOU'RE A DUDE READING THIS JUST STILL IMAGINE YOUR OWN LEG I TRY TO KEEP THIS GENDER NEUTRAL BUT I FORGET AND PLUS RN IM JUST EXPLAINING THE TIKTOK KJSDBVIBUV) and then she pulls her leg away and the music is like

iM oN mY sAvAgE sHiT

- anyways

- peter's hand is just vibing on your leg

- for you dirty minded folks no it's not vibrating or doing all that janky shit we're children of god here

- says the one who just said the s word OOPS

- and you, as per usual, pull up the sound and start recording

- peter hears the music and is like Huh????

- and then you pull your leg away, grinning at him cheekily before he grabs you, phone flying out of your hand and he pulls you into his lap

"my thigh"

- you give him a look like excuse me sir hUh

- and his face is just like

0_0

- before he smiles at you and laughs and says he's kidding

- but then he stops laughing

...

- and raises an eyebrow

- WOAHHHHHHHH SPICY

- zooooweeeeemamaaaaaaa

- aight moving on

- THE NEXT ONES ARE INSPIRED BY YOURS TRULY!! YAY ME FOR HAVING IDEAS FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!!!!

- so i'm sure you and like everyone @ your school (if you're in school.. lol) is familiar with this one

- i'm just gonna let y'all experience it idk why i've been telling the tiktok before idek sajbsidvb

- so you're in class right

- doing nothing bc your teacher sucks :////

- but its fine bc it's a fun class

- so you set up your phone with you and peter in the screen and start recording

- peter looks at the phone and then you, confused

"hey, stop!" you say in a whiny voice

- mans is like Uhhhhh what did i Do

"stop! omg peter sTop!" you're smiling at him

- he's so confused

- and then as you're talking

- your voice suddenly lowers into your lower register

"stop!! peter stop it- I SAID STOP."

- his eyes widen and a confused smile is on his face as he jumps back slightly

"YOU KEEP PLAYING *smacks your hand on the table* TOO DAMN MUCH."

- the video stops and you and peter are just silent for a second before busting out laughing

"you've never seen those?"

"no????"

"god peter, you live under a rock"

- the duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand: hey! bonk bonk bonk got any grapes?

- sorry i randomly thought of that

- okay NEXT

- this is the one that hits different

- gets you in your FEELS

- DAMN

- we all know peter's a gamerboy

- so he's just chilling playing minecraft on the xbox or something

- what a fuckin nerd

- jk minecraft slaps so hard

- anyways

- as per usual, you set up the camera and start filming

- and you

- i think you know what i'm talkin about

- you slip underneath his arms

- and start crawling into his lap

- and the SECOND he registers what's going on he fucking YEETS the controller behind him and wraps his arms around you

- and when i say yeets

- i mean like

- ZOOM

- you bury your arm in the crook of his neck and you feel him physically relax under you (heartbeat racing though of course) and hold you tighter, planting gentle kisses along your neck and shoulder

- ..

- god FUCK talk about B U T T E R F L I E S

- y'all are going to HATE ME for this one

- prepare yourselves

- so you guys are just chilling in peters room as y'all normally do

- and peter goes to the bathroom

- and like stupid adorable fuck he is

- mans left his phone on silly goose

- and of course

- we all know you can't help yourself

- so like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING

- you decide to snatch it and go look at his tiktok drafts, god knows why

- and the first one you tap

- WHEW CHILE

- your jaw drops to the floor as soon as you read the text on the video

"so apparently when a guy's chain dangles it's attractive..?"

- heart skips a beat

- hands are sweaty

- knees spaghetti

- you look up to make sure the bathroom door is still shut before you whip out your phone and start videoing

- peter is looking nervously cute into the camera before he leans out of shot,

- you know what's next

- and right as the beat drops

- he shows up, SHIRTLESS, with his cross necklace (you've only seen him wear once lmao) dangling down

- not to mention the goddamn CURLS hanging down

- and your heartbeat quickens

- ... both heartbeats...

- then fucking PETER JUST STROLLS INTO THE ROOM

- ALL INNOCENT N SHIT AS IF HE DIDN'T HAVE A VIDEO ON HIS PHONE THAT LITERALLY MADE YOU READY TO RISK IT ALL

- "why do you have my phone?"

- you've never slammed it onto the bed so fast

- "no reason"

- he raises a suspicious eyebrow before picking up his phone and unlocking it

- and the fear in his eyes when the screen opens to his video

- he looks back up at you, mouth slightly open in fear/awe/ohshitohgodohFUCK

- and you and your goddamn mouth-

- "peter, it's hot"

- and oh how the look in his eyes changed

😈

+ + +

until next time <3

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagines #marvel #mcu #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #fanfic #fluff #writing #peter #parker #thomas holland

[mendesstories]

From the Ground Up

A/N: This idea came to me when I first heard the song ‘From The Ground Up’ by Dan + Shay a few months ago and this has been sitting around in my drafts ever since. I never liked how it kept turning out and I’m still not a 100% proud but here goes nothing. Tell me what you think!!

Taglist: @mendesficsxbombay @particularnervous (if you’d like to be added or removed let me know)

March 2016

“So...it’s time, eh?” He sighs looking at her. 

She glumly nods, her eyes roaming everywhere but refusing to meet his. Her mouth opens to say something but her throat runs dry and suddenly words seem hard to find. Truthfully, she’s not sure what to say to the boy she loves when he’s about to leave for what, she prays for his sake, is the first of many of his own world tours. 

She steps towards him, takes a deep breath and attempts to gather her resolve for him.  

“I’m only nervous because I don’t know how things will work out ahead.” 

“But I’ll call ever-”

“No wait let me finish, I want you to know that this-” she gulps and her fingers fidget with the frill of her top, “-this is big and it’s going to change your life. I’m so so proud and happy that you get to do this because, my dude, you deserve to live your dream more than anyone else I know. And, even if all the distance and time changes us, I won’t hate you ever, you’ll always be my best friend first.”

He wants to tell her that her fears are irrational. They are them, they’ll get through it all together but he’s not sure he can actually convince her this time. If he’s being honest he’s terrified she’s going to be right like always, that’ll he’ll get caught up in the glitz and glamour of it all and lose her. 

He moves towards her tentatively, hands snaking around her waist and she melts into his embrace. Her head rests on his chest, her shoulders shuddering and for a split second, he blames himself for choosing to do what he loves and hurting the ones he loves in the process. 

For a fraction of a millisecond, he has this feeling although nothing might ever be the same in his life again, that somehow the two of them will pull through it. That little glimmer is enough for him. Now, it’s his turn to take a deep breath and garner some strength for her sake. 

He whispers softly, “Believe me, baby. We’ll be alright.”

Her dad watches them wearily from the side. He knows Shawn is a bright young boy with big dreams filling up his mind and only the best intentions at heart but he cannot help his fatherly inhibitions from clouding his thoughts. 

He wonders how right Shawn is in choosing to make this his career and not going to college. He isn’t sure if they truly understand how the dynamic of their relationship is about to alter, both of them ambitious but heading down starkly different paths. He worries the scrutiny and attention that is bound to come, will wear out even his strong-willed little girl. 

August 2019

Post-concert Shawn is always on an adrenaline high. Tonight, however, was truly special. He’s played the biggest show of his life. A sold-out stadium in his home city. The same place he would pass by numerous times as a child with his gaze fixated and eyes wide unable to wrap his mind around big it is. 

Certainly, he never imagined that one-day a deafening crowd would sing the words he wrote in his journals back to him when his slacked jaw and welled up eyes leave it hard for him to swallow and finish the words.

She’s out there in the deafening crowd with her hair flying in every which direction with his sister singing along to every song just like everyone else in the audience. His biggest (and possibly favourite) supporter since day one. 

He gets off stage a jittery mess with his heart still pounding fast against his chest and the whole room is electrified with his entrance. He hands his guitar to Cez and is pulled in for a hug.

There are bottles clinking, friends and family making rounds hugging him and each other. There’s enough energy in the room to spark up the CN tower standing tall behind them. 

The past five years of his life and career have gone by in the blink of an eye. She was right when she predicted everything would change but  the one thing that’s stayed constant is that he wouldn’t want to do any of this without her by his side, be it having to clean up the beer bottles and leftover pizza after Brian’s roaring 21st or playing a twice as roaring Rogers Stadium. 

So, smile a mile wide and hands still clammy he makes his way towards her. He picks her up giving her a quick twirl and she lets out a little laugh. It’s enough to ignite his burning heart further. 

He puts her down and she pulls him in closer for the tightest and warmest hug ever. Her blanket of love, happiness and pride envelops him. 

He did it 

Something lights up in her holding him so close in her arms. A glimmer, like the one he had in the airport all those years ago, tells her as long as they are hand in hand giving life their all, they’ll have many more moments like this one.  

September 2019

He’s seated in the crowded auditorium between her parents and little brother, adjusting his dress shirt and formal slacks waiting for the graduation to start. 

He recalls that one late night during the Europe leg of the tour when he woke up to fetch some water and realised she wasn’t in his arms. He found her with her shoulders bent over her textbooks and laptop, reading and rereading the words attempting to make sense of the page. She rubbed her eyes and willed herself to stay awake. 

5 more minutes she convinced herself every five minutes

His heart plummeted looking at her haggard appearance knowing he was partly responsible for it. He never asked her, he never had to, she magically always knew. She could tell sense his anxiety building up. The initial buzz of being on tour fading away. He wanted to come home, tease his sister and press kisses to his mother’s cheek. 

She would give him the world if he so asked and if there was anything she could do to keep his heart even slightly happier, she would. So without much hesitation, she makes a few adjustments in her budget for the rest of the month and flies out to him. 

The glint in his bright eyes and his warm laugh reverberating through her eardrums when she surprised him made it all worth it. 

Standing in the dim light of the tour bus it occurred to him how selfish and unfair he was to be so caught up buzzing around in excitement of her arrival to see how all that she does for him takes a toll on her as well.  

He knows she’s going to compensate for this trip by working a few extra and long shifts around her classes. Her classes are a whole other story. They are far from easy and he has come to understand computer science is an incredibly time consuming and draining major despite her being passionate about the subject. 

Recording albums, selling out stadiums, and writing heart-wrenching, gut-twisting songs was never her dream but she believed in his nevertheless. While chasing her own dream, she’s continued to support his.

Decidedly he wipes the sleep away from his tired eyes. He makes up his mind that he’s going to help her study even if that meant simply keeping her company. 

“What? Why are you awake?” She asks him breaking out of her trance as he settles into the space beside her. 

“Here, please take care of yourself, honey.” He mumbled into the dark placing a cold glass of water and some fruit in front of her. 

Andrew may have found them the next morning all cuddled up, soft snores leaving their exhausted bodies, but they had successfully finished her linear algebra 1 work. 

His face breaks into the biggest grin when they announce her name. Hands clapping as loudly as possible while she walks up on stage beaming with pride and standing tall in all her 5 feet 5 glory. Her dad even whistles a few times. He can only imagine how proud her parents are of their daughter. 

She did it

His chest constricts with a bubbling feeling and he isn’t quite sure what it is. Perhaps it’s pride but something tells him it’s just the all-consuming love he has for her and all of her.

4 years later

The second she is pushed out the room is engulfed in an overwhelming torrent of emotion.

She’s beautiful

It’s his first thought. Certainly, she’s covered in baby gunk but she’s still beautiful. 

The silence in the room for the first few seconds seemed piercing. Is she alright? She’s supposed to cry, right? Why isn’t she crying? Then it’s replaced by her faint little cry which grows louder and louder until it has turned into an all-out no holds scream. She’s loud but he doesn’t mind in the slightest. She’s safe. His wife is safe. His own family is here safe and sound.

“We have to clean her up first.” The nurse declares gently picking her up from her mother’s chest where they placed her for barely a minute. 

He doesn’t want to let her out of his sight. So, he drops his head and presses a kiss to his wife’s forehead, whispers an ‘I love you’ and speeds off after the nurse.

Not so much to one’s surprise she cries and shrieks as they take a prick of her blood and check her vitals. It takes everything in him to not pick her up and coo into her little ears that he’s right here and as long as he’s round he won’t let anything bad happen to her.

“Hi angel, I love you.” He bends down and mumbles as the nurse runs a washcloth across her tummy.

He never imagined those five words would alter his life and perspective forever. Her cries seem to subside and he knows that newborns have little to no muscle power and she can’t really see but he swears she looks at him and calms down. 

4 years later 

Estela Mendes is nearly four now. She has more fun each day than should be legally allowed. She struggles with sharing toys and her parents’ undivided attention with her toddler brother (her parents promise you they are working on this), while her curiosity about the baby in her mama’s belly grows each day.

4 years and 7 months later 

Gotta support the neck Gotta support the neck

The thought has been drilled into his head by his parents over the past few months. While his fans may have said countless things about his large hands, some of their words managing to leave him haunted, he never really noticed how large his hands actually were until now. She seems so little and fragile in his arms compared to the first two now notorious Mendes siblings. 

It’s safe to say the youngest Mendes daughter wasn’t planned yet somehow she came at the perfect time.

The two of them had spent a fair number of nights with goosebumps rising on their skin in the Toronto breeze, after putting their kids to bed, (god, how do they sound so old?) huddled shoulder to shoulder as she indulged in her choice of cravings for the night (it was a jar of pickles more often than not) dreaming of what the baby girl growing inside would be like.

Now, she’s here and he’s enamored with her very existence. He can’t keep his eyes off her. If it was all up to him he’d sit there for hours on an end memorizing every little detail of her being and watch her attempt to clasp her small figures around his large ones. 

His wife rests her head on his shoulders, exhaustion rimming her eyelids with her matted hair against her forehead. She moves her hand that is free of the IV needles and tubes to bring the two older children, smitten with the latest addition to the family, closer into her lap. 

Everything he’s ever wanted - needed really - is right here in his arms. He feels complete. 

7 years later 

The youngest Mendes child is clutched to her waist, hands moving animatedly describing plans she has with her siblings for the rest of the day, as the pair of them make their way out to the rest of the family in their backyard. 

His wife’s heart grows in size finding both sets of grandparents recollecting stories while Shawn teaches his two older children how to strum a certain chord on his guitar. 

The mess of curls - that is her son - seated on Shawn’s lap has a glint of mischief lacing his eyes trying to think of ways to add his touch of fun to the relatively calm backyard. 

She puts her daughter down who wobbles across the grass to where her dad and siblings are seated.

Now, all four of them are playing some game. He somehow manages to lift all three of them into the air, makes the sound of a bear growling, places them back onto the grass gently and tickles them until they’re all in fits of laughter. 

The delirious belly laughs they let out at his antics have him grinning ear to ear. The simplicity of the moment overwhelms him. This is all he could ever dream of having and more. A family of his own, people that are his own and people with whom he can cherish the wild rollercoaster of moments his life has been and continues to be.

All those inhibitions her dad had at the airport years ago no longer hold true. He’s watched Shawn grow into being the incredible partner and father that he is today. 

He’s the man her dad hoped he would be. 

65 years later 

The morning sun streaming in uninvited kisses them awake. He opens his eyes to the slivers of light peeping in through the gaps in the blinds casting thin stripes across her tan and angelic skin. 

She blinks multiple times adjusting to the sudden light drowsily, mouth curving into a lopsided grin as he pulls her closer into his embrace. 

65 years old now, in this little house that they made home when they stepped foot into young, first child on the way, eyes dancing with excitement for the future. 

The pictures that adorn every nook and corner of this warm and humble abode are a testament to their tale. The clouds may have rolled and the earth may have shook but they sheltered each other through the wind and the rain. 

They did it

#shawn mendes #shawn x oc #shawn mendes fic #blurb #shawn #shawn x reader #mendes #writing #shawn mendes fanfic #fluff #fics #shawn mendes fics #fanfic

[pheedraws]

I got tagged in this ultimate OTP meme a while ago and this has been sitting in my drafts since because I am, at my core, indecisive. It also means I can’t remember who tagged me so my apologies! I could not sleep at all last night so I finally finished it off ... voila 

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

They both try to keep things low-key, especially if others are within earshot, but they are also incredibly stubborn and won’t back down from an argument if they think they are right so things can often get loud.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Neither of them. They’ve both had enough people walk out on them in the past that they wouldn’t threaten the other with that in the heat of the moment, regardless of the argument.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

As above. At the very most, one of them will go somewhere to cool off for a few hours but that’s the extent of that.

Who trashes the house?

Neither of them. Billy has the shorter temper of the two but that’s not his style.

Do either of them get physical?

Never.

How often do they argue/disagree?

Hoo boy. After Billy breaks things off mere days before they lose Maria and the kids? Dee can’t stand to be in the same room as him without fighting. Billy plays along, after all he needed the dispute to seem real so Rawlins would drop Dee as a potential pawn to use against him (thus keeping her safe), but the part of him he buried deep down hates seeing her hurt and angry. Doesn’t stop him from landing a few cutting jabs every now and then, though…

Post-S1? Not a lot. It takes them a while to work through things after Rawlins’ death and Billy’s pardoning, eventually getting back to how things were in the ‘good old days’. All the previous grievances just seem petty in comparison and thus arguments are few and far between. When they do get back together? It’s all small domestic things, the most common argument being Billy trying to get Dee to just slow down and stop working herself to the bone.

Who is the first to apologise?

Usually Billy. (He is usually the one in the wrong, so…)

Sex:

Who is on top?

More often than not Billy, though he certainly has no qualms against sitting back and making Dee work for it from time to time.

Who is on the bottom?

Mostly Dee, with exceptions of course. (She can top Billy every so often, as a treat)

Who has the strangest desires?

I wouldn’t say either of them have particularly strange desires, but their sex life is never boring. Let’s leave it at that.

Any kinks?

Too damn many. Dee more so than Billy, which he fucking loves.

Who’s dominant in bed?

Almost always Billy. Even when Dee’s on top, he’s still the one in control.

Is head ever in the equation?

Absolutely.

If so, who is better at performing it?

Billy’s an incredibly confident and smug man, both in life and in the bedroom. Is it justified? Wholly.

Ever had sex in public?

…Yes.

They just had to break in the newly refurbished head office at Anvil, after all…

Who moans the most?

They both get pretty vocal in their own ways. For Billy, it’s a lot of guttural moans and ‘fuck’s. In Dee’s case? Well, Billy doesn’t rest until she’s screaming loud enough that all her neighbors know him by name…

Who leaves the most marks?

Billy. He’d never push Dee past her limits or seriously hurt her, but he does get a little... carried away in the moment.

Dee loves it though.

Who’s the more experienced of the two?

Again, Billy.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

In the early days it was almost exclusively fucking. They had a friends-with-benefits situation going on that didn’t leave room for the feelings they both refused to acknowledge.

Post-S1, when everything is back on track and positive? It’s a healthy mix of the two.

Rough or soft?

Again, a healthy mix of the two.

How long do they usually last?

Billy has the stamina of a superhuman. Whether it’s fucking or making love, you can bet your ass he’s making it last until Dee is fully spent.

Is protection used?

Yes. They’re both too busy to consider the, ahem, alternative right now.

Does it ever get boring?

With Billy Russo? Never.

Where is the strangest place they’ve have sex?

An elevator.

Heathens.

Family:

Do they plan on having children/or have children?

That is… a complicated topic. After losing Lisa and Frank Jr., Dee was kind of put off the idea of starting a family with anyone. Billy has his own reservations about kids and parenthood too, given his own history. Plus post-S1, with both of them working hard towards getting Anvil re-established? There isn’t time for that.

Neither of them completely rule out future possibilities, though.

If so, how many children do they want/have?

Neither have given it much thought, in all honesty.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

They are both partial to a good cuddle on the sofa or in bed, particularly after a long day.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

B I L L Y. That man’s randiness is second to none.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themselves?

As above, Billy. It isn’t always inherently sexual, though; he uses touch as an affirmation more so than words, so he’ll make a point of brushing loose hairs out of Dee’s face, or sliding his arms around her waist whenever he can. He’s finally at a stage in his life where he can afford to be soft and affectionate, so naturally he wants to make the most of it.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Depends on the situation. Both of them are borderline workaholics, so staying still for anything longer than half an hour during the day just doesn’t sit well with them and they’ll take themselves off to get back to work. If they fall asleep in each other’s arms, though? You best believe they’ll still be entwined when morning comes.

Who gives the most kisses?

Dee’s the smoocher of the pair, always has been, though Billy has taken to planting a kiss on her forehead when her brows knit together while working to ease the tension there.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Their secret indulgence is sacking off work on a Friday night to order pizza and drink beer while watching some dumb movie neither are really interested in. Sometimes they invite the others over, but more often than not it’s just their night to breathe and enjoy each other’s company.

Dee will adamantly deny that she almost always falls asleep during the movie, though…

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

Billy spared no expense when decorating his penthouse, so the sofa and bed are simply to die for. In the end that’s what spurs Dee to move in with him, lest she have to listen to him complain about her brick of a sofa one more time…

How often do they get time to themselves?

Not as often as they’d like. Later on down the line, when Dee leaves her clinic behind, they both work at Anvil, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they have more time to themselves. It’s busy, especially in the wake of the Rawlins fiasco, but things settle down eventually. They take those moments to themselves whenever they can.

Sleeping:

Who snores?

Mercifully, neither of them do.

If both do, who snores the loudest?

While neither of them snore, Dee talks utter nonsense in her sleep, which Billy then teases her for relentlessly.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Always share a bed. Sleep doesn’t come easy to Dee, but having Billy beside her helps.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

They’ll cozy up as they fall asleep. More often than not they’ll wake up like that too, though Dee has been known to shift into some utterly nonsensical positions that would make a chiropractor cry.

What do they wear to bed? If they’re together?

Dee sleeps in a vest and shorts all year round.

Billy? Just underwear, unless previously removed before falling asleep …

Are either of them insomniacs?

Dee is a chronic insomniac and workaholic. While they’re in the middle of their break-up, can’t-stand-the-sight-of-each-other phase, Dee works through the night until she physically can’t stay awake any longer; anything to avoid the tossing and turning and overthinking that awaits her in bed. Things get better after Rawlins is dealt with and Billy is back in the picture, but it’s still a struggle for her at times.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

Dee tried them once. They don’t work.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

A little bit of both. Dee likes feeling Billy there with her so will tangle herself up in his arms and legs when she can, but if it’s hot? Stuff that. There’s nothing Dee hates more than feeling hot and smothered.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

Dee, and she will forever be bitter that Billy I’m-So-Perfect Russo can wake up looking like a damn model regardless of the antics they got up to the night before.

Who wakes up first?

If Dee had a fitful night of sleep, she’ll be up and out of bed at the earliest reasonable hour. On a normal day, Billy will wake up first.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

They usually just grab breakfast on the way to work, but if it’s a weekend or a special occasion? Billy is known to surprise her with breakfast in bed.

What’s their favourite sleeping position?

Billy on his back with Dee against his side, her head in the crook of his neck.

Do they set an alarm each night?

Billy doesn’t need one; perks of being a marine, and all. If they need to be up at a certain time, he’ll wake Dee up himself… sometimes in creative ways.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

No. Billy never had one in his bedroom when he lived alone, and Dee wasn’t fussed either way.

Who has nightmares?

They both have their demons, so nightmares are a frequent occurrence. There’s a shared sense of comfort there, though; the pair always knowing what the other needs when they awake with a start, sheen of sweat on their body. The nightmares don’t follow them into the waking world anymore.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Dee. And she’ll mutter and talk in her sleep the whole time.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Surprisingly, Billy. While he’s kept many of his old sleeping habits from his days in the marines, he just can’t resist sprawling out in a big, fancy bed these days.

Who makes the bed?

They’re both neat people, so the general unspoken rule is whoever was last out of bed in the morning makes it.

What time is bed time?

It varies. They do try to have a healthy work-life balance, but Anvil is Billy’s pride and joy; if he needs to stay late working, he’ll do it without complaint. They’ll usually collapse into bed any time between 11PM and 2AM.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

Regular things; showering, brushing teeth, etc. If they haven’t seen much of each other all day they’ll lay awake chatting for a while, catching up on news and such. If Dee is going through a particularly bad stint of insomnia, she’ll work out in the evening to try and quell some of the restless feelings, and Billy has taken to joining her.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Dee. Billy is insufferably smug and cheerful on a morning.  

Work:

Who is the busiest?

It varies. When Dee is working at the clinic, she’s working constantly. Where Frank goes, trouble is never far behind, and thus there’s never a quiet moment without a bullet wound to patch up or regular patient to see to. After she decides to call it quits and work for Anvil with Frank, Billy and Curtis, her workload decreases a bit. Though she may be the resident medic, Billy has a lot more work and responsibilities being at the top of the chain in that scenario.

Who rakes in the highest income?

Mr Billy Bigshot-CEO Russo

Are any of them unemployed?

No.

Who takes the most sick days?

Dee is very much of the ‘work until you drop’ ethic, and while the same can be said about Billy too in some respects, he’s more lenient with himself and will take a day off when he really needs it. He’ll also bribe encourage Dee to do the same when it’s evident she needs a break.

And I mean hey, what’s the point in owning your own company if you can’t take a cheeky sick day off every now and then?

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

They travel together (technically live in the same damn building as their offices) so they really have no excuse. For the most part it all runs smoothly, but there are occasions where their ….. morning activities….. overrun, though Dee is adamant that you can never actually be late if you turn up with the boss; everyone else is just there early.  

Who sucks up to their boss?

Billy is technically Dee’s boss so…. go figure.

What are their jobs?          

After leaving the military, Dee establishes a small clinic in Hell’s Kitchen and works out of there for a few years. It’s met with a lot of resistance, what with her helping Frank out and getting involved in his grievances with local gangs. Eventually, post-S1 and after an arson attack leaves the clinic worse for wear, Dee decides to take up Billy’s offer of working for Anvil alongside Curtis on the medical team.

Billy still owns and runs Anvil, only with his friends by his side this time. It takes some time for the company’s reputation to recover, even after the truth about Rawlins comes out and Billy is exonerated, but he doesn’t mind the work. It makes it feel like his company again.

Who stresses the most?

They both have a knack for stressing and worrying, but Dee comes out on top in this regard. Maria always used to joke that she’d end up with frown lines by the time she’s thirty.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

They do. Billy has an immense sense of pride in his work now, and it’s therapeutic for him to work through the mess Rawlins made and reclaim Anvil as his.

Dee loves helping people, always has, so her work suits her.

Are they financially stable?

They are.

Home:

Who does the washing?

They’ll take it in turns for the most part. Both are incredibly neat people so household work is a breeze.

Who takes out the trash?

They’ll usually do it on the way to work, though if it’s cold outside and they have nowhere to be? Billy’s the one to take one for the team.

Who does the ironing?

Billy took one look at the way Dee irons shirts and forbid her from going near an iron again.

Who does the cooking?

Cooking is something they love to do together. It’s a chance for them to unwind and chat and laugh with each other after long working days, so it’s never a chore for them. If a few glasses of wine just happen to be drank during the process, too… well… they deserve it.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

They’re both pretty competent cooks.

Who is messier?

Neither is particularly messy, per se. Dee will say she’s not untidy and call her chaotic desk ‘organized clutter’, but that’s usually limited to her workspaces. The penthouse itself is almost always clean and tidy.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

Neither, because they are not heathens… in this regard, at least.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

If Billy is tired, he’ll just strip wherever is convenient and deal with the clothes in the morning. Dee at least makes the extra effort to hang things up or, at the very least, drape it over a chair.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

They’re both pretty good for remembering that.

Who is the prankster around the house?

Dee has more of a sense of humor than Billy, but that’s not to say Billy doesn’t act like an utter asshole at times when he sees the opportunity.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Dee doesn’t have a car (she can drive, there’s just not much use for one in the city) so she’s exempt.

I feel like Billy’s car keys are permanently attached to his person. He drives a Wraith, after all.

Who mows the lawn?

Lawn? What’s that?

(Not having a garden is the one thing Dee doesn’t particularly like about city living, though)

Who answers the telephone?

Each has their own mobile, so they deal with their own calls and such.

Who does the vacuuming?

Like with most housework, they’ll take it in turns. Dee refuses to hoover stairs, though, on the grounds that she doesn’t have a death wish.

Who does the groceries?

It depends on whoever has the least amount of work to do on that particular day. Billy quickly catches on to Dee’s confectionary-buying ways, though, so he’ll volunteer to do the shopping more often than not to save their pantry from yet more sugar.

Who takes the longest to shower?

With both of them having served tours overseas, they’re used to showering quickly and effectively. If they’re in the shower together, though? All notions of saving water are out the window.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Billy. Russo. That man has a morning beauty routine to rival any model.

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

Nope!

How many cars do they own?

One.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Billy owns the penthouse. Prior to moving in with him, Dee used to rent an apartment in the city.

Do they live in the city or in the country?

New York, New York, baby!

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

Both grew up in city environments, so New York just feels like home to them. I think after everything they’ve been through, both individually and together, anywhere else would just feel…. Boring?

What’s their song?

Green Grass by Tom Waits

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

If Billy is away with work, they call or skype whenever they can. They’ve spent unwanted time apart in the past, on particularly bad terms to boot, so they don’t like being away from each other for extended periods.

Where did they first meet?

Dee practically grew up with Maria; the two had been nigh on inseparable since the day they met in elementary school, and formed a sisterly bond that carried on way into adulthood. Dee was already going through basic training when Maria introduced her to Frank, who then brought Billy along to the group a couple of weeks later. The two swiftly became close friends, and dabbled in a bit of the ol friends-with-benefits arrangement when off duty.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Billy is more willing to spend money, but he rarely goes out shopping for himself; it’s either something to boost Anvil’s status or capabilities, or something for the penthouse. Dee grew up lacking the financial cushion they have today, so old habits die hard in her case. She won’t buy things for herself unless she really needs something, and even then it takes a lot of internal debating to reach that point.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Dee is fairly clumsy, much to her dismay (and Billy’s apparent enjoyment).

Any mental issues?

Hoo boy. Billy is an entire essay in his own right so I’ll focus on Dee, though a lot of their mental troubles overlap. Dee left the military after a mission in Iraq under Schoonover went awry, landing the unit in a hostage situation with only Dee and the Major managing to survive two weeks until they were extracted. She was initially given leave to recover and recuperate with intentions of returning to duty, but she decided against it and was discharged. Dee was later diagnosed with PTSD as a result of the incident. Add to that the later trauma of losing Maria, her lifelong best friend and practically her sister, as well as Lisa and Frank Jr.? The woman went through a lot in an incredibly short space of time and it took its toll on her both mentally and physically.

(I’m missing a lot but alas I have not slept and cannot write a coherent paragraph)

Who’s terrified of bugs?

Dee point-blank refuses to be in the same room as a spider. She knows it’s a bit pathetic, but frankly? She doesn’t really care. Other bugs are fine, just no creepy crawlies inside, please.

Who kills the spiders around the house?

As mentioned above, Dee will not touch a single spider so it’s down to Billy to be the hero and remove them from the building.

Their favourite place?

New York City apartments don’t have much in the way of gardens, but the rooftop terrace on the penthouse quickly became their favourite spot once it was given a bit of TLC. Dee has a few planters for growing flowers and herbs for the kitchen, and Billy surprised her one night with a firepit perfect for huddling around as the sun goes down. It’s like a little safe haven away from the stressful jobs and business below them.

Who pays the bills?

They both contribute, Dee was very insistent on that when she moved in, though Billy offered otherwise.

Do they have any fears for the future?

Plenty. Billy still doubts himself, still judges himself by his past mistakes and actions and worries that one day, everything he holds dear will eventually crumble before him again, only this time he won’t be able to pick up the pieces. He keeps these fears to himself, but Dee can tell when those thoughts are giving him grief, and is always there to offer words of reassurance.

Dee worries about Frank. Her elder brother almost; the one constant in her life over the tumultuous years. She worries that one day, this life they’ve all rebuilt together won’t be enough for him, that he’ll miss what made him him, miss the violence and vengeance. And she gets it, to an extent. She lived that life too after Maria and the kids passed, helping him and getting her hands dirty in ways that meant they’ll never be clean again. But she’s settled now, here, with Billy and Frank and Curtis. She just worries the peace she found won’t last.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Billy, most definitely. He has expensive tastes to begin with and is fairly spontaneous in nature; he’ll often call Dee at work to announce that they’re going out mere hours in advance. It brings him joy to do things for others.

Who’s the tallest?

Billy. He’ll tease Dee about it from time to time, but really? He loves the way he can press his lips to her forehead when she’s in his arms.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

While they both love showering together and, ahem, other more scandalous antics, it’s usually Billy who initiates and slips into the shower behind Dee as opposed to the other way around because for Christ sake Billy shower at a reasonable hour who willingly gets up at 5:30 every morning

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Dee, though Billy has been known to join the underwear party when he a. hungover b. exhausted or c. too damn warm.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Dee, and while she can indeed sing, she gets so much more joy out of seeing Billy’s grimace whenever she purposefully butchers a song.

What do they tease each other about?

Dee pokes fun at Billy’s hair and how goddamn perfect it is all the time. She’s also taken to lovingly ruffling it up a tad when they’re at home, though that often ends with either her being hoisted over his shoulder or tickled relentlessly…

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

They both dress fairly smartly on a day to day basis, taking pride in their appearance and the way they present themselves to the world. There is one exception, however, and that is when Dee insists on lounging around the penthouse that god awful “I Got A Dig Bick” tee Frank gifted Billy during one of Anvil’s annual jokey Secret Santa exchanges. Each time he sees it in the laundry basket he tries his best to dispose of it, but that thing just keeps on making its way back into the wardrobe...

Do they have mutual friends?

They do! Frank and Curtis being the main two, with Karen being more of a mutual acquaintance for Billy, who missed out on a lot while stuck working for Rawlins.

Who crushed first?

There was a mutual attraction there which ultimately spurned the whole friends-with-benefits situation, but Dee was the first to start getting actual Feelings.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

None.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk,  at 3 am?

If they’re out drinking that late, they’re most likely out together. Dee’s accent gets stronger when she’s drunk, which Billy finds hilarious. Coincidentally, he also finds everything funny when shitfaced drunk. Naturally, they make quite the pair...

Who swears the most?

Dee swears like a sailor, at any minor inconvenience. Dropped something? Oh fuck off. Minor inconvenience? Bastard. Billy blames it on being exposed to Frank Castle at an early age, which earns a fuck you from them both.

#good morning we are writing our own canon on this here day #anxiety was kicking my ass last night so I caved and did self-indulgent stuff #forgive me father for i am but simple trash #tag game #oc stuff #oc: diana 'dee' murphy #x: lay your head where my heart used to be #look at these two thots #finally getting a ship name after god knows how long

[floralgothpersephone]

Countdown

Sooooo.... several.... um months ago, I was tagged by @jaygirl987  and this has just been sitting in my drafts... forever??? oops. Oh well, I am feeling in an over-sharing mood. So I am going to do it now. Felt confident in sharing, might delete later. Response is below the cut, because we are writing essays tonight. 

Rules: List 1 Insecurity, 2 Fears, 3 Turn-ons, 4 Life Goals, 5 Things I like, 6 Weaknesses, 7 Things I Love, 8 Tags  I am going to tag: @akai-vampire, @claudeng80, @bookloverfio, @bigprincess-energy, @peachdoxie, @ruleofexception, @infinitelystrangemachinex, @anais-mitchell

ONE Insecurity:

---People who meet me for the first time always say I am remarkable. But I don’t really agree with that at all, I still don’t understand where people get that from. I feel very desperately flawed and a moderately dysfunctional human doing my damned best with what I’ve got, and isn’t that just a normal state of being for everyone making their way in this life. And if people say I am remarkable, and it turns out to be true, then does that mean I am not normal??? How is everyone else living their life then? What am I doing wrong??? or right?? or differently??? How do I bottle up this whole remarkable thing and share it with everyone else?? Being called remarkable makes me fear for everyone else. Because if i am struggling this much, and people still seem to think I am amazing then does that mean everyone else who is struggling is failing in some reguard?  I have met so many other people in the world who are just as special as me, and if i am raised above that then what about all those other people? Aren’t they remarkable too? Kinda takes away the meaning of remarkable then, if everyone else is also remarkable. I don’t know. Every time I meet someone new and they call me remarkable it makes my skin crawl. What sort of face are they seeing me wear that makes it happen so often? I just try and be myself, and stay true to who I am in any given moment but then that makes their statement have more power? I hate it. Nothing makes me more insecure. I can go from full blown confidence down to nothing the moment someone says that about me. I know I am odd and don’t quite function right in society, and have a very different perspective on it because of my dysfunction, but that shouldn’t make me remarkable. There are too many other people in this world for me to be remarkable. 

TWO Fears:

---I may never get to see Amber Gray perform Persephone in Hadestown

---Cockroaches. Turns out I have an actual phobia of cockroaches. 

THREE “turn-ons”: 

---Silly Antics, like sheer outrageous, ridiculous things that make you laugh until you cry. Like, I fall in love a little bit with everyone who has ever made me laugh. So like, the more you make me the laugh the more I look at that and go, “mhm tasty”. Also, if we are not laughing at some point during sex then what even is the point??? 

--- Loyalty, Reliability and just being supportive and a good friend. Like, I am very much very very demisexual and while I can look at people and love their look and their aesthetics and be attracted to that, I need a very firm established relationship for like... years, before I am ever actually interested in letting them into my bed. I need some definite proof that they are in this for the long run before I can let my sexuality come into play.  

---Being crafty and creative. Seeing someone make a very nice craft gets me all worked up in ways I can’t quite describe. But every time a partner of mine starts a project and is making things I want to jump their  b o n e s. 

FOUR Life Goals:

---Get my ass to fucking Greece and like. Stay there. For months. And just travel??? And like, take my time, no rushing around to do every single thing. I want to go to these places and be there for so long that I can just sit and be. 

---B a b i e s. Dear lordy if you look at every major decision i have ever made in my life, it has all lead up to the fact that I want to have kids, and I want to have a family in a very specific supportive and stable way and I need to complete these things before i can have my kids. BUT BOY THE HORMONES ARE STRONG AND I WANT THEM NOW. 

---Can I put travel twice? Travel is so important to me. I have to see the world, I need to map it. I need to see all the different types of humans and cultures there are in the world and I need to experience what there is in this life before its all over. 

---I have this home I like to dream about, its constantly changing, but its small, while having enough space to breathe, covered in plants, an entire wall that is just a bookcase to store the entirety of Alex and I’s mug collection (we are looking at least 80 mugs between the two of us currently). A claw foot bathtub in a room full of windows that is just a glorified greenhouse really. comfy reading nooks and places for play, covered in nothing but soft blankets and cushioned seats. A cat or two lounging around among all the soft places in the sun light. Walls covered in cork boards so that I can pin up hundreds of pictures of the family I have built for myself. Little foot steps running around from kids playing, and having my partners home with me to cook and raise the little ones together in a family and a community. I just. I just want that little domestic haven of something calm and secure that I never got to have growing up in my life. 

FIVE Things I Like:

---Pottery!  (my craft of choice, I’ve been making pots for 17 years now and it never gets old) 

---Plants! (I live in a small jungle! I’m a plant witch! I love my plants! They are my only friends some days! But thats okay, I take care of them and in return they take care of me.) 

---Places! (I’m a map maker, I love learning about the identity of a location both on a map and within the human mind. How amazing that a collection of humans create an identity for a geographical space separate from other all the other geographical spaces. That’s wild! I want to learn what makes them all different forever!) 

---Purple! (My hair is purple, its been purple since I started grad school! I flirted with pink hair and orange hair last year to try on different types of variety and see how that fit but I am back to purple and I am back to my normal skin! My purple hair is the source of my internal confidence and a major point of my identity) 

---Music! (I am not sure I  would ever be able to navigate my own mental landscape without the aid of music guiding me through all my different emotions and feelings so that I could have a safe place to experience them without fear of repercussion) 

SIX Weaknesses:

---I over think everything (case and point, this post, whoops) 

---An open opportunity. Like, if I am given an opportunity suddenly that wasn’t previously available and wouldn’t be available in the future, I will move mountains to make it happen. If I see a window to be able to do something with a time limit I am jumpin as fast as I can to get through that window before it closes. I think its because I grew up with zero opportunities in my life when I was little so somewhere in my bones I believe that every opportunity I get is rare and special thing and if I don’t take it now then I won’t ever get another one. Sometimes its exhausting but I can’t honestly say there is a list of things that I could have done that I didn’t? I have very little regrets in that regard. 

---I am willing to see and recognized my flawed personality traits, but rarely ever actually do anything to fix them. I am a big of a believer in accepting yourself with all the flaws (part of the side effects of recovering from perfectionism) but that mentality has a different problem... in which you are so comfortable with the problems that you don’t have any desire to fix them? Yeah.  

---Um, I have a major weakness for brown eyed, brunette girls and have fallen waaaay too hard for too many of them in my life for it to not be a thing (that Alex teases me relentlessly about). Honestly the list is long, but good news. Fiona is on that list. <3

---Potential. I have a weakness for potential, sometimes that manifests in craft materials. (Oh I could make this into this other thing!) So I have quite the collection of crafting hoards. I rarely buy plants when they are big because I am far more interested in getting a small plant because of it its potential to grow into something. I love love love love working in clay because there is just SO MUCH potential for it to become really ANYTHING???? Its amazing!!! Like, if you imagine in there is a way to make it real. And I am obsessed with that feeling. 

--- I have a weakness for cream. I like half and half in my tea. I like whipped cream on my waffles. I like straight up cream on my strawberries. I like clotted cream on scones. I like creamy milkshakes. The creamiest of cheeses. If its a cream based sauce I’m in. Just. Cream. 

SEVEN Things I Love:

I just now realized that there is a difference in the lists for “like” and “love” LOL there is no difference to me. I have no moderation, I either love something with my whole heart or not at all. So lets wax some poetry on things I have already listed, because the things I like I also love. 

--- Okay, pottery, so like, Pottery is amazing??? Because you take dirt!!! like muddy gross squishy dirt!!!! and you mold it into something you like???? And then you FIRE IT!!! Like how metal is that???? You are creating something from DIRT. And on top of that, it lasts FOREVER. like, people hundreds of years from now are gonna be digging up our civilization and our computers are going to be dead, our papers and paintings: dead, our books? Hopefully not dead. But whats going to be left is our city foundations, our places, our trash and our shitty broken pots. And goddamn, I am obsessed with looking around our world and just IMAGINING what these people in the far off future are gonna think. And there isn’t a single piece of pottery that I make in which I am not thinking those exact thoughts and trying to imagine what that person in the future is going to be like when they find this.

--- And on that note, places are just so fricking cool. Because I grew up in a mono-culture where the majority of the population belonged to the same culture and the identity of the place was a direct reflection of the people. But other places have SO MUCH DIVERSITY and I am just amazed and inspired about how you can take SO MANY PEOPLE from SO MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES and pack them all into a city, and then that city becomes its own culture??? and has its own Identity??? Like, New Yorkers, those people come from fucking everywhere on the entire planet, and YET everyone knows there is a New York culture that is just agreed upon? And New York has an cohesive identity to how it functions, and how it works. Just. How amazing is that. And Minneapolis, jeez, bless Minneapolis. Because it has the midwestern identity but its developing one all on its own. And it doesn’t have a National presence yet, so in a lot of ways its just developing its identity for the world and its just so amazing to see all the different ways that people provide input on how they want their city to develop, and with each step it comes closer and closer to a face it wants to display to the world??? Its like, seeing a teenage, trying out who they want to be and developing them self to become a real adult. And goddamnit I want to see Minneapolis into a fully mature Nationally known city. I can’t wait. 

---So plants, are like. The best therapy. Because plants don’t really talk, well okay I think they do, BUT PHYSICALLY, they don’t talk. And so in order to figure out what they need to you have to listen to them in a very different way then humans are used to?? You have to observe, and check-in and interact and just learn about a plant so that you can care for it. And I think thats exactly how humans are too, except we have this obnoxious thing called talking that sometimes make it difficult to actually figure out what is going on down below. Its easy for someone to say they are fine when they really are not. But plants don’t get to say that they are fine. When they suffer they do so silently and while they may want to scream for more water they have to let you know in other ways, drooping, changing color, dropping all its leaves in protest. And thats the other thing about plants too, is that every type of plant asks for help differently? How amazing is that. You have to get to know the plant on an individual level, there is no “one way fits all” fix-it for plant care. You have to know your plant. You don’t have to know all the plants in the world, just the ones you take into your care. And thats just so symbolic for me. And when I am taking care of my plants, I am taking care of myself too. Water for the plants, water for the Becca. Sunlight for the plants, sunlight for the Becca. Extra boost of fertilizer for the plants, extra boost of vitamins for the Becca. And I love my plants, even with their imperfections and wild ways of growing. Sometimes they get a whole lotta attitude in how they grow, and it isn’t picture perfect, but that doesn’t matter. Cause thats my plant! And its growing and thriving and I am so happy that its doing well! It doesn’t need to be the prettiest plant that ever existed. It just needs to live. And damn thats all I need. 

---Purple is just an amazing color. Like everyone has heard the poetry talking about the richness and royalty and the history that the color purple has. But for me? Purple was a color I was immediately drawn to as a kid for no apparent reason but that I liked it. And I was not allowed, because the color purple was Barney colors and my parents were so very concerned that the other kids would torment me (spoilers, the kids found other reasons to torment me, and I was just denied being allowed to wear my favorite color). And then there was the instance of my grandmother, who, lets be honest, doesn’t win any “good grandparent” awards. And she LOATHS the color purple. Just thinks its really ugly. And took every chance to tell me that whenever I went shopping with her or if she wanted to get me a gift and was looking for input. So i went through all these stages when I was little, only being allowed to like pink, but then internalized misogyny said that was dumb so then I chose blue to be my favorite color while completely denying that what I wanted was purple. So yeah. By the time college came around and I was an “adult” (lol) I was just like. Fuck this shit no one can tell me what I am allowed to like and claimed purple for everything in my life. and I mean. e v e r y t h i n g. Backpack? Purple. Every piece of clothing I owned? Purple. Jackets? Purple. ipod? Purple. Does the object come in purple? Yes. Well then that is the correct answer. When I broke down and finally dyed my hair purple (like I have wanted to do since I was little, but again, I was not allowed and can you imagine being a non-mormon kid in the little valley with purple hair in high school??? Fuck I would have been the anti-christ of all sinners.) But in Minneapolis it seemed like it would be far more acceptable and wouldn’t result in immediate social disgrace. So I did it. I graduated my undergrad and dyed my hair purple because I could. And it changed my entire life. No more wall-flowering. No more hiding in the shadows praying no one notices that you don’t quite belong. No more pretending that you don’t exist so that people can walk all over you as they pass by. When you have a wildly different color hair, you have to own it. There is no “oh haha, whoops” about it. You made that decision, you put the color in your hair with that intention. And now its there to stay until you cut it all off. And that was the kick in the butt for me. That was the thing I need to own my own self and to lay claim to my voice. And for a while, it wasn’t easy. It was learning a whole new skillset. And there was definitely a major time span that was just “fake it until you make it”. But I kept faking it for the sake of my purple hair, because every time I looked into the mirror it made me so happy I could cry. I wasn’t looking a the mirror nitpicking my reflection any more. I was just joyful, because my hair was purple and I loved it. So every time someone made a comment whether it was good or bad, I would be dying on the inside from having the attention on me. But I would pull out the big ole grin of joy that I wasn’t really feeling and be like “Yeah isn’t it great! Its my favorite color!” And the good comments would be happy for me, and the bad comments would be thrown off by my enthusiasm and usually go away. And at one point that big joyful grin wasn’t just a farce, and now, 9 years later, working for the federal government and people try and make a jab at my hair, I can just laugh and tell them how much fun having colorful hair is. And that they should give it a try too. 

#Becca rambles #Becca rants #Becca does a tag game #and writes a full essay instead #But tonight we were feeling reflective #and usually I would just journal but eh I am isolated enough right now #thought i would share whats going on in my brain #will absolutely delete later

[lokiarsene]

like yesterday, here's a bullet list of my thoughts for episodes 18~21

thoughts on episode 18:

oh no, it's the beach episode.

-- i really like how they show the way the PT take care of futaba. ren patiently cleaning up her room in between hours at the florist, them playing vidya with her, or just having lunch together in montage moments is very sweet. it makes me wish the anime had much slower pacing, more slice of life-y kind of drama.

-- watching yusuke, ryuji, and futaba lose their freakin minds over good curry is VERY relatable.

-- i still don't understand why ann and makoto thought that a two piece frilly bathing suit was the way to go with futaba. a one piece that she could wear under a long wrap or a hoodie would've made so much more sense... but >male gaze

-- have i told y'all how fucking tired i am of the sexualization of the teenage girls in p5 yet, and how it is one of the several things that fuckin ruined this game for me

have i?

well here it is again

none of the previous games were as bad as this b t w and p4 had one of the dungeons be a STRIP CLUB.

-- yusuke and his lobsters are wonderful.

-- oh god i forgot COMPLETELY about the whole 'mental shutdowns' thing in this game's plot. i think because it's all so pointlessly convoluted. p3 had something similar but even there it was just people turned catatonic for weeks on end when the monthly boss-shadows drew near.

i think the reason i find this so hard to understand is because from p3 to p4 the rules of shadows didn't really change so much. p3 had the persona users go up against shadow bosses; p4 had people confront the shadows within themselves, either accepting them completely (which then turned into persona), or the shadow 'absorbed' the person and ran rampant as a monster. neither of those rules really contradict each other, but in p5 personal shadows for persona users are gone completely, and how you deal with other people's personal shadows doesn't even involve them being present to complete the merge.

mona says that persona users can't have palaces, but persona users in 4 could and DID have 'dungeons' within the shadows' worlds. these dungeons dealt specifically with what was at the core of the shadows' emergence--a deep secret and a hidden truth that caused the shadow to grow, a place that was a replica and a distortion of reality based upon that suppressed truth. so that sure sounds like a fucking palace to me.

so....................... unless there's like, multiple realities folded into our own, and persona users can only access certain ones.................. i'm just super confused.

like, i know it's because the rules change game to game, but p3 to p4 didn't have any contradictions, and p2 didn't contradict anything in p3, either. it just went from a full party of wild card users to a singular one.

-- i'm glad ann's getting a little screentime here. i was just thinking about how other characters' development was lacking after makoto and futaba got so much focus.

-- mona's so sweet to ann ;-; now that he has a human form in p5r, i hope they become really good friends. she needs a kind guy friend that'll be reliable~ plus he makes her laugh.

-- sojiro talking about the anniversary of wakaba's death is......... really interesting........ considering that screenshot of futaba sitting next to a woman with the exact same haircut as her "deceased" mother.

-- ren reassuring mona that he absolutely has to be human, that he will return to who he used to be once they figure out what's happening in the metaverse is jsut jdfklasd

AND HIS LIL ROUND OF APPLAUSE WHEN MONA TALKS ABOUT ALL THE THINGS HE'S GOING TO DO TO KEEP THE WORLD SAFE ;-;

AND THAT SHOT OF HIM SLEEPING CURLED UP ON REN'S STOMACH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-- listen i know mona isn't rly a cat but he's the BEST cat

thoughts on episode 19:

oh it's the hawaii episode.

-- man what the hell kinda budget do these school's got that they can just go overseas with dozens of students on a yearly basis? that's impressive.

-- ryuji: "whoa, awesome! ..... i don't really get it, but awesome!" fjdsafds okay that got a laugh outta me. good one, ryuji.

-- ren: "i'm excited, too." (said in a monotone) fjklsadsl BLESS THIS BOY

-- ren's FACE when he learns that futaba installed a spying app on his phone and can hear him/see pictures he takes is...... kind of hilarious. especially if you have the headcanon that he and akechi send dumbass snapchats to each other a lot--which i do. and which you do now, too.

-- mona's depression is ten times more sad because he's a cat okay :c why they gotta make the cat so cute

-- ren, ryuji, and ann's lil sleepover is adorable. especially since ann chastises ryuji for not knowing one of the basic rules of a sleepover: if you start talkin' about your crushes, you gotta start with your own~ thems the rules lads

-- rip principal bloatneck.

-- honestly that truck shoulda at least TRIED to stop.

-- "A LO HA." goddammit that's adorable

AND HE GIVES THE LEI NECKLACE TO MONA FJDSKFJDSKL ren you're so SWEET.

-- I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT MONA CALLS SAE "ONEE-NO-NIIJIMA" FJADSKLFJDSKL ahhhh it's so cute.

-- the PT targeting okumura, who is essentially the dave thomas with political ambitions of the persona 5 world, is far funnier now that i phrase it like that.

-- ANN, OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE, SAYING THAT THEY PROBABLY BROUGHT THIS RECENT TROUBLE ON THEMSELVES, IS A FUCKING STUPID WRITING DECISION. I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE DIDN'T LOOK AT THAT AND GO, "ANN WOULDN'T SAY THIS. ANN HAS NO REASON TO SAY IT." god. lmao PLEASe let p5r be a goddamn second draft.

-- mona's totally right that ryuji's just concerned with getting popular and his dick wet. like,,, that's why this argument only made me hate ryuji more than i already did. he gets pissy when mona points out the truth.

god he sucks lmao

I'M SORRY I'M SO SALTY YOU GUYS

LOOK I'LL SAY SOMETHING NICE: SAE AND AKECHI ARE COOL

-- i really like how guarded akechi's face looks in his conversation with sae, and how off his guard he looks when she tells him that she's not going to hold back, especially since the culprit is doing such dire, awful things. he's not exactly surprised, but he's definitely uneasy and shaken by what he hears. which makes me wonder who he’s really concerned for--himself, or for ren (and the PT by extension, but akechi only really seems to care about ren, so).

the reason i like that is because the okumura arc in p5 is really where akechi's mind starts its downward spiral. principal kobayakawa's death obviously rattled him, especially since the only reason the principal died was because shido saw him as useless and disposable, something akechi is desperate NEVER TO BE. and it's that + what happens with okumura that really kicks him over the edge.

i hope p5r will give us the chance to pull him back from it. he deserves a better chance than the game's subpar writing gave to him.

thoughts on episode 20:

-- ren wakes up in a panic because he thinks he sees mona on his bed ;___________;

-- goro snoopin' on the PT's LOUD, TOTALLY CONSPICUOUS conversation in front of okumura foods' HQ is kind of adorable if you remember he clearly loves star wars (HE HAS A LIGHT SABER), and the camera cuts to his face right as they're talking about big bang and outer space lingo.

-- oh, haru. i really wish you were the black mask. that would've been so much cooler--and an actual twist. her total hopeless panic about being a beauty thief could still be a thing (because it is actually endearing), it'd just be an act. but that's me talkin' fix-its again.

-- i really like the scene of haru defending mona to the PT on the rooftop, then cutting to show just how strained her relationship is with her father. she exists to be useful to her father's ambitions and nothing else, and that scene really drove home just how painful that is for her.

-- REN TWIRLS HIS HAIR BETWEEN TWO FINGERS WHEN HE'S DEEP IN THOUGHT. AHHHHHHH I FORGOT HE DID THAT

-- oh hey remember how the game went through the trouble of showing how haru's fiance is a sexist, violent, animal-hurting piece of shit and then promptly failed to actually separate her from him in game (i think you only can do that in her s-link?? the s-link you can barely finish in your first run of the game??), and in t hEN SHOWED HER IN THE CAR WITH HIM LATER, LOOKING HORRIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE?

god this story makes me so fucking mad lmfao STOP PUTTING GIRLS IN PHYSICALLY OR SEXUALLY VIOLENT PERIL AND NEVER ACTUALLY ENSURING THAT THEY'RE SAFE, YOU DAVID CAGE LEVEL OF HACK BULLSHIT WRITERS.

-- ryuji running into the attic, all worried about mona, with a first aid kit, is..... very good. very good and endearing. good on you, ryuji.

-- haru gently encouraging mona to tell the truth is also really good. idk if i just missed it in the game or what, but i really like how she's presented in the anime. she's like a counterpart to ren--soft, sincere, observant, patient, yet she's made of pure steel beneath all that.

thoughts on episode 21:

-- WHY WAS HARU'S GRANDFATHER GIVING COFFEE TO A FIVE YEAR OLD

-- haru, the reason your father's heart grew twisted is thanks to capitalism. you gotta change the heart of capitalism.

-- not to be all poochie here but whenever akechi isn't on screen, all i can ask myself is whERE'S AKECHI?

-- HOW CAN I TAKE THE EVIL DAVE THOMAS SERIOUSLY WHEN HE'S DRESSED LIKE FUCKIN MEGAMIND?

-- okay see this is where i'm thrown completely out of the story or even really liking haru. haru just listened to her dad's shadow saying he would PIMP HER OUT TO HER FIANCE WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. and she still is just like ~no i want him to go back to being kind~

bitch are you nuts

are you NUTS

youR DAd SHOULD DIE AND YOU'D BE BETTER OFF

CONSIDERING HOW THE GAME GOES, YOU ARe BETTER OFF

god. i'm getting so mad again lmao

-- ren approaching haru to point out that if the truth of her father's crimes comes to light, she'll forever be associated with him (and with all the harm and ruined reputation that brings) is, once again, further reminder of just how... damn good ren is. he doesn't hesitate to speak from the heart nor does he ever fail to listen to someone else speak from theirs.

-- also not for nothing but uh

how did the cops not like

figure out how the PT phan-site was set up within the first few months and track it down to mishima? was that ever addressed at all?

-- honestly another reason why i get so fucking mad about this okumura stuff is the game goes SO FAR OUT OF ITS WAY to make you feel BAD that he died, when he was by all rights a fucking shitheel monster, yet when akechi dies it's like 'oh well. that sucked.' fuck off, atlus. the death of a greedy, heartless CEO isn't more sad just because his gaslit daughter is conditioned to be sad about it.

i understand that a large part of the shock after okumura's death is because the PT don't know if they did anything wrong. but okumura was in no way a good person. he was in no way a person whose redemption overruled all the hurt and harm he did. that has been the case for EVERY PT target before this, so why the fuck is okumura suddenly so different? why SHOULD he be?

the difference between him and, say, akechi is that okumura et. al. all made those choices on their own to do terrible things. they delighted in it, they enjoyed it. but akechi, much like futaba, was forced into a cycle of self-destruction--it’s just that in futaba’s case, her self-destruction targeted herself, and akechi’s was quite literally weaponized and used against others. he approached shido as a young teenager and was then used by him for years.

a teenage boy being used as a magical hitman by his shitlord father is far more deserving of sympathy and redemption than grown adults who willingly make the decision to harm, abuse, and prey on others. but no, the game didn’t want to do that.

this is another big problem i have with p5's second and third acts: it's so tonally dissonant and sloppy. it's like they didn't try to actually be as rebellious and hellraiser-y as the first act WANTED to be, and it all ends up being such a limp-dick shriveled mess of "let's fight against this rotten society!! ......... as long as it in no way actually upsets anyone or does any REAL change." fuck off lmao

that's not me even commenting on the "twist" and how it needed to be explained MULTIPLE TIMES to the player for it to make any sense.

and it still doesn't make sense to me btw.

so that's another thing i hope p5r fixes.

-- rip evil dave thomas megamind.

-- akechi floating the idea to sae that the phantom thieves had nothing to do with okmura’s death is............................ interesting.

#this is the ask tag #p5 anime #some slight salt in this post y'all

[namesintherafters]

for @cupstealer‘s UH-mazing wanna-live-in-this-forever fic, Call Me Royal Blue!

He’s always gotten his kicks giving Jonny shit, but never like this. He feels like the first person to combine ice cream and soda — A) in that he has combined two amazing things to make a more amazing thing, and B) in that Jonny is not having it.

Patrick and Jonny haven’t been close friends in six years. Nothing a little friendly competition can’t fix.

a very special and pointedly loud shout out to MY LIGHT AND SAVIOR <333 @nuuclearshow for helping me pull together the title graphics and being the voice of reason when I was having a meltdown about how this has been sitting in my drafts for L I T E R A L months! 😘😘😘

#1988 #patrick kane #jonathan toews #mine:* #not my fic #cupstealer #fic recs #legit this is 50k of awesome so uh #do yourself a favor and PLEASE READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY #or reread it literally maybe every three weeks....>.> #that's cool too

[eclipsetickles]

Bungou Stray Dogs HCS

This has been sitting in my drafts forever, collecting dust. 😅 I really should have gathered the courage to post this sooner. Oh well. Enjoy my 2 cents worth. 😂

Atsushi:

Sweet blushy boi

Tbh he's the type of person to get flustered by the word "tickle"

Even if he's like 3 rooms away 😂

Dazai (A teasy ass) enjoys messing with him about it, and often tries to use "The T Word" however he can, just to get a reaction from the tigerboy.

"That really seems to tickle your fancy, hm Atsushi?~"

"Well, I'm tickled pink that you think so!~"

Poor bby just can't take it. :'')

"D-Dazai!! Stop that!"

The Armed Detective Agency's main target.

His worst spots include his neck and his sides

Squeaks REALLY loud if you poke his side.

If you end up ticking him, he can't even pull together the wit to try and stop or push his attacker away.

Does he really want to though? ;;)

Probably not.

Dazai:

An actual little shit ™

Probably has a tickle radar or smth

Don't underestimate this shaggy bandaged dork, you c a n n o t trust him to pass up an opportunity to tickle the everloving fuck outta someone.

Often times, that someone is poor little Atsushi. >:3

He will only stop if he knows you can't take any more.

Not to mention, he'll be teasing you with the biggest smirk all the while.

"Aww! That's just too cute! I wonder if you can make that sound again?~"

Don't be fooled! The ultimate tickle monster himself has his own weaknesses he will never admit to!

His entire torso is like a death spot.

Even with his bandages around the area, he will start flailing and let out a bunch of really cute giggles

What's this? The giggles are evolving!

*Pokemon evolution music*

The giggles have now become a full on belly laugh!

Too cute, too pure.

A literal angel.

Will tickle you to death right after.

Kunikida:

This ideal-obsessed perfectionist?

Okay, but hear me out-

If he is feeling especially playful, he may throw a few pokes.

After a while though, it will become a h u g e one-sided tickle fight.

He is a surprisingly good tickler.

Obviously not better than Dazai, ofc!~

Still good.

He actally has a major weakness for cute reactions when tickling someone.

A little squeal?

This boy will b l u s h for days. 😂

Many people have tried (and failed) to tickle him.

Only one succeeded. (I sure wonder if you can guess the doofus that was that persistent.)

Big surprise, it was Mr. Dazai Osamu himself!

Pssst. He's only ticklish in a few spots.

His neck, underarms, and his knees.

Those. T h o s e- Oho!~ Those spots will one day be the death of him.

You'll be rewarded with a series of tiny snickers and held back giggles.

Until he can't take it anymore

That's when he transitions into (very manly ;3 ) fits of slightly squeaky laughter.

Don't expect to be let off scot-free though!

He will chase them until he tickles the other (*coughcough*Dazai*cough*) until he's satisfied as a "punishment" for making him lose his composure.

Welp, that was the main three! I hope y'all like them. If you want me to do other characters, just say, and I'll be delighted to do such! ^^

#bungou stray dogs tickle #tickles #atsushi nakajima #dazai osamu #doppo kunikida #headcanon