#At least most of it is hidden under the read more thingy

[rockinlibrarian]

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

This was an Ask Game Thingie from a couple weeks ago, but it's a yearly round-up thing, and Back In My Day on LiveJournal we used to pass around surveys like this and answer EVERY QUESTION, whether or not anybody Asked you any, and Year-End ones were great for, you know, wrapping up the year, and ultimately led me to writing full Year-End Wrap-up Posts that span a ton of different categories-- this year's coming later this week! So I've gone and filled out this whole thing because it's MY year-end wrap up and I can do it my way and have it on my blog like so!

How many words have you written this year? The word count on AO3 for 2022 says 51,282, but I assume this includes ALL the words of “Exploration of the Astral Plane” still even though only 3 of the seven chapters were actually published this year, and most of those were also WRITTEN last year. Likewise, I’ve WRITTEN a whole lot of words this year that have not been published yet (and will they ever be, one wonders?) So, grain of salt it.

2. How many works did you publish this year? Seven total listed works. That includes three new chapters of one work I originally published last year (see previous question) and three chapters of a work I haven’t completed yet (see next question). Five self-contained works (a couple of which have two chapters, but at least I published both this year. Wait, that’s a lie: “Chapter 2” of “Everything I Know About Writing the Loudermilk Twins” is actually the essay I put in the “Memory Work” Zine a few years back). Anyway, there are seven individual titles listed under 2022 on AO3.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? “A Captain With Seven Children”— because first off the concept is brilliant and kept getting more brilliant as I wrote, but can one really take credit for concepts, specifically considering I just happened to dream this one? But I took this seemingly-crack concept seriously, and that’s what led to bringing the inherent brilliance of it out. Secondly, it’s both so much fun and a nifty challenge to take the script of one of my favorite movies and see how it can be adapted to fit characters of a completely different time and culture and— only slightly different situation? One would think it’s a REALLY completely different situation, but the fact that it’s not SO far off after all is part of what makes it so much fun.

4. What work of yours has the most hits? “Not Just Stupid Kids,” which is ironic because I originally posted it anonymously. It would also have the most kudos if you discount what I believe is a weird glitch on somebody’s bookmark of “Chapter 19.5: Hidden. Safe. Somewhere,” which, don’t get me wrong, is a perfectly nice little fic, but it’s a throwaway interstitial thing for Legion which has a teeny fandom anyway, and there’s NO WAY it could get that many kudos naturally when there are so many better Legion fics to choose from. Apparently if you’re not signed in, you can kudo as a guest as many times as you want? And there’s one guest I believe has been through all my Legion fics multiple times this year, and kudoed them every time. But perhaps every time they open the link to “Chapter 19.5” it automatically kudos it again. This is the only sensible explanation.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? CLEARLY “Not Just Stupid Kids,” considering, like I said, I first posted it ANONYMOUSLY. Normally I post a ton of links on social media when I post something on AO3, “Hey everybody, come READ WHAT I WROTE!” but since I was embarrassed by that one (it’s a non-canon ship! I don’t DO those!) I didn’t. And somehow THAT one took off completely. I pondered, is it because it’s a ship? People follow specific ships? But the non-anonymous sequel has gotten a fraction of the reaction. Which can only lead me to conclude one thing: MAYBE IT’S ME PEOPLE DON’T LIKE.

6. Favorite title you used: Hmmm. I’m kind of torn: I liked coming up with a Community-formatted title, but I couldn’t decide between “Introduction to Eternal Crossover” and “Introduction to Infernal Crossover” so I combined the two, but I actually like either of the two separately better than the combination I went with in the end. So it’s more like my favorite potential title. I’m also strangely fond of “High on a Roof Stood a Lonely Seven,” which is the next chapter of “A Captain With Seven Children,” but is, barring miracles, not going to be actually posted until 2023.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? Speaking of which, that would be Rodgers and Hammerstein. And that only because I’m specifically parodying “Sound of Music” lyrics. I hadn’t noticed that so many people name their stories and chapters after song lyrics until after I made this decision, and now I’m like, Come ON, at least MINE is a DIRECT reference to the story I’m writing.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Fiktor, ie Five and Viktor Hargreeves, ie the ONLY pairing I wrote this year, with a grand total of TWO. Non-canonical and should be completely ridiculous, so basically both fics are me trying to work out WHY the heck I love the concept of them together so much.

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Well that goes without saying, then, doesn’t it?

10. What work was the quickest to write? If Scrivener history is to believed, I created the file for “Not Just Stupid Kids” —called “Unrelated Fiktor”— on July 31, and according to AO3, I published the first part (which I thought would be the whole thing) on August 1, so apparently I really WAS just trying to get it out of my system. I ended up adding “chapter” 2 on August 8, which ties it at 8 days with “Intro to Eternal/Infernal Crossover.”

11. What work took you the longest to write? “Exploration of the Astral Plane,” which according to my Scrivener history I started writing on 3/29/2020, and finally finished in September this year. Granted, it’s also seven chapters long, but I also apparently started writing the last chapter on 3/15/2021. That last chapter was close to finished for a very long time. It was just the penultimate chapter that was taking so long.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? Well, I count six unfinished stand-alones in Scrivener, and a couple more in Word (those are the OLD ones), and two multi-chapters that have already started being posted but just need to be finished. But whether they’ll specifically happen NEXT YEAR? We’ll see.

13. What’s your longest work of the year? Technically “Exploration of the Astral Plane” at 13,008 words, but not all those words were published this year. Only 5,417 words were, and about a third of those were written last year. So “A Captain With Seven Children” steals with 11,371 words published so far, and that’s only halfway done.

14. What’s your shortest work of the year? “Introduction to Infernal and Eternal Crossover” at 1,263, which edges out “Chapter 19.5” by 7 words.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you? Is this a different question from #12?

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? “Backstory”— this is true both for this year and total. Some people write fanfiction to imagine characters’ futures— I tend to write it to figure out their pasts. Go figure.

17. Your favorite character to write this year? I was going to say Oliver Bird out of force of habit and then I realized I haven’t actually written much for Oliver this year, considering he was unconscious for most of it.* My real answer when I think of it is probably Hypnos God of Sleep, but I haven’t actually finished that fic yet, even though it was supposed to be a quickie (it’s almost done! But LIFE happened). As for characters that aren’t basically OCs (yes I didn’t invent Hypnos, but I did invent his personality for my story), writing the Hargreeveses as children is always fun. Peeling back the later influences on their personalities to the roots of who they are, including things that hint at future developments— and also they’re funny. *I just re-read Chapter 6 of “Exploration,” which is the one chapter I wrote ENTIRELY this year, and Oliver actually spends a good portion of that awake and active and delightful, for probably about as many lines as Hypnos, so maybe he counts after all.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? Huh. I guess I avoid writing characters that I can’t hear clearly in the first place. I can’t think of anyone whose voice I couldn’t get right or anything, if I can be as bold to claim that. Approaching the question from a different angle, Viktor Hargreeves. Dang his self-esteem issues. They were simultaneously “yes I relate very much to this feeling of Complete Nobody-ness, therefore it’s all too easy to write” and “UGH would you STOP already and just believe what Five and/or Maria depending on the fic is trying to TELL you?!” And as it turned out, the moment of this that bothered me the most was the same moment my beta reader Frimfram* called out, too, which just goes to show, if your characters are annoying you, they’re probably also annoying the reader. Oh, and he also has the added challenge of not realizing he was trans until he was 29 and a half, which makes the fact that I write a lot of childhood stuff an odd balancing act of pronouns. *(OH WAIT, she's on Tumblr, as @amperdash! Hi, @amperdash!)

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? Look. I didn’t INTEND to explore any pairings THIS year. I’m not a shipper! And yet, hopefully I DO finally post more of or even finish “Tesseract,” which has a lot of lovely deep married-folk discussions happening between Alex and Kate, if not overtly romantic— no, some of it IS pretty romantic, especially for Demis like me who are all about deep partnership being romantic. Hey, maybe I’ll even finish the Wash/Zoe fic I started ten years ago or something. Who knows. Oh, it’s also possible for these “pairing” questions to refer to non-ship relationships, or “&”s on AO3, but I always forget to note those, anyway. Ironic, isn’t it? I’d probably have better answers if I looked at it that way. Relatedly, do you think I should go back through my fics and add the “&” tags that apply to each? They might get more attention that way.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most? That’s a good question, and I think it’s more confusing because I reread so much WHILE I’m writing, so I’m not sure how much I reread snippets of in process and how much I read as a completed whole. Maybe “A Captain with Seven Children,” because it is fun and also I'm still writing it, too.

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year? Now, if you click 2022 on the Stats page it says 303, but I was curious, so I added up all the kudos on the seven fics I supposedly published this year, and whaddya know, 303. But the majority of the 30 kudos on “Exploration of the Astral Plane” were actually received LAST year, when the fic was first posted; and it also isn’t counting the many kudos I keep getting on “The Invitation: an Epilogue” (still holding out as my most popular fic ever) and the less-often but still coming steady “The Puppy-fly Effect” and a few other random ones on other older fics, like the guest who frequently binges the complete Loudermilk Chronicles and rekudos every one (the “Placeholder” has even gotten two kudos!); and for that matter, how can you really count the absurd extra kudos on “Chapter 19.5,” anyway? There are 80 guest kudos there and I’m certain that’s only about 5 actual individual guests. I could go back through my email notifications and add up the kudos I ACTUALLY got this year (including the random 80 guest kudos on Chapter 19.5) but that’s a bit excessive.

22. Which work has the most comments? “Not Just Stupid Kids,” clearly the most popular work published this year. Most of the comments are like “Aw, don’t let the haters who say you shouldn’t ship adoptive brothers with complicated age-issues and much mental illness force you into anonymity and shame!” and I’m like, “No, seriously, it’s not THAT part that embarrasses me, it’s the fact that they’re NON-CANONICAL and exactly the sort of pairing I would be all ‘WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE GOOD FRIENDS?!’ about any other time! Because I am freakish this way!”

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year? No, though it was lovely beta-exchanging with @amperdash. We’d get to cheer for each other! (You can read hers here: "Seong-min Ha has Superpowers"!)

24. Did you write any gifts this year? Not unless you count our Christmas card letter.

25. Did you receive any gifts this year? Not unless you count other people’s Christmas card letters.

26. What’s your most common category? Um, Gen? Like you had to ask?

27. What do you listen to while writing? I have an “Instrumental” playlist. I posted about that before.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year? I guess “A Captain with Seven Children,” but there’s a special place in my heart for “Everything I Know About Writing the Loudermilk Twins,” because they’re forever my babies.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? I think I keep coming back to this one the most, and it’s a perfect example of why writing “A Captain with Seven Children” delights me so much. To set the mood, here is the exchange as it appears in “The Sound of Music”: Maria has just arrived at the Von Trapps’ and is pretending to dance in the ballroom when Captain Von Trapp takes her by surprise saying, “In the future, you’ll kindly remember there are certain rooms in this house which are not to be disturbed.” She nervously stutters out, “Yes, captain, sir.” Then he says, “Why do you stare at me that way?” “You don't look at all like a sea captain, sir,” she says. He bites back, “I'm afraid you don't look very much like a governess.”

Now, this functions as a meet-cute— they’re taken aback by each other, she was being whimsical (which he surely needs in his life), and she’s embarrassed, and she’s staring at him because my gosh is he handsome and she was not prepared for that. But in my story this moment is absolutely not a meet-cute, but it is a first meeting that proceeds in almost the same way. Maria, being Maria, is still going to get impatient waiting and go poking around in the house; and Reggie is very much against his office being disturbed. But she’s not going to be struck dumb by how handsome he is— she’s going to be really distracted by how anachronistic he looks— old-fashioned even for her original timeline, and that was already 60 years earlier! So anyway here’s the scene:

“In the future, you’ll kindly remember there are certain rooms in this Academy which are not to be disturbed.” Maria jumped and succeeded in just barely not knocking the contraption over. “Yes, sir, Mr. Hargreeves, sir.” She gaped at the tall, thin man in the doorway. He looked like a Victorian shipping baron, with a monocle in one eye and a graying auburn goatee, a natty three-piece suit and cane. He squinted back at her. “Sir Reginald, if you please. Why do you stare at me that way?” “Well, you don’t look at all like I imagined the adoptive father of seven children, er, in the late 1990s, would look, sir.” “And how many of us have you been previously acquainted with?” “Well…none, actually.” “So I trust you will refrain from making further assumptions.” So the scene starts out almost exactly the same, in the office instead of a ballroom, but when Maria explains why she’s staring, Reggie is just GOING to react with a bit of snooty logic. And the weird thing is, I can totally hear Christopher Plummer saying it, too. I actually had to look BACK at the Sound of Music script because I wasn’t sure, anymore, which parts I wrote and which parts were from the movie. It just FITS so freaking well.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? BESIDES the popularity of “Not Just Stupid Kids”? WHILE writing, hmm. How many lines you can swap between Sir Reginald Hargreeves and Captain Von Trapp without being able to tell the difference!

#year-end roundup #ask game #fanfic

[chuluoyi]

Yes... I grinded my ass off... And now I have nothing to grind for baby Lukey... And IT'S OKAY!!!! You can still get tears from the event itself!! And by upgrade they mean upgrade the star thingies- You know when you get dupes you can star up the cards? Yeah that's the upgrade they meant... I didn't know and kept trying to use my stellin till I realised like 'oh fuck I've been wasting stellin for no reason' cause I still couldn't clear the achievement... But yes I'm left with 36 stellin now after levelling up my new card...

Ah omg arranged marriage 😭Omgomg do you read 'Under the Oak tree' ? It's an arranged marriage manhwa with spicy scenes [ohohoh!] If you don't you should give it a read, see if you'll enjoy it. And Angst! My absolute fave! AHHAHA SAME GIRL I thought he was the antagonist 😭😭Especially after the prologue I was like 'Who tf are you' and I thought there would be that route where the MC gets together with the bad guy and gets whisked off... And I guess I know why I'm still single now... It's either I'm really just too in love with 2D men, or it's my mum's high standards and taste in men...

Right!!! Ahhhh I'm so in love with Satosugu! And it's okay! Take your timeee, just do it once you're more comfortable. Geto has a pretty complicated character if you ask me so it's understandable that you'll need more time...

😭😭You must be so tired... Remember to stay hydrated and rest well too! Your health comes first!! LUKE JUST GO HOME SO PEOPLE CAN REST 😭😭😭

Hidden inventory is indeed our last spring of youth... I felt my teenage life get sucked away HELP. To add up I'm like around their age during hidden inventory and I relate so much better to them except the cursed energy part... And Culling games... I don't even want to imagine... I'll probably drop JJK by then I don't think my heart can take it. I think JJK will end me before I do it myself...

exactly... It's really childish and stupid... Like guys most of you are at least 16 so act like your age please don't go around arguing over shit only kids fight over... I used to watch Aot like I stopped at S3 before they switched to MAPPA... and yeah basically every big fandom will or has experienced debates over the littlest things... Every fandom has it's toxic community...

Hahaha! How's your bf after the last episode? I heard it's super depressing...

-🪩

i… only got 1 tears *sobs* and now it’s in pity 60🤧 STAR THINGIES LMAO yeah it immediately comes to mind the moment you describe it like that😭 36 stellin is alright! i’ve been left with 2 stellin i remember thinking just how broke i can get?💀

i read that!!!🥹 i love it but i’m a bit sad that maxi struggles so much to stand up for herself😔 riftan is a hunk though omg. oh and i read another manhwa called “light and shadow” it’s such a good arranged marriage manhwa that i read it lit thrice bcs the both the hero and heroine are badasses who take no shits from anyone else🥹

aw don’t worry disco anon!! i’m sure you’ll find the right person someday!! i used to be insecure with myself too and thinking that i don’t fit but no—it’s just that we haven’t met the right person yet!!🥹 they are there somewhere🫶🏻

aww thank you!!! you’re so nice afahjsa and you stay healthy too!🥹🫶🏻 the weather nowadays can be a little challenging😫

omg really?!😭 you’re still so young and your watchlist being jjk is indeed so soul-sucking😭 not that i was any better. when i was that age (gods why am i sound so old i’m only 24) my watchlist was naruto… and i binged it all until the end over the course of summer holiday🥲

SO TRUE AHHAHAHA jjk will end us before we do it is so canon ogmf😭 like for how long now that we didn’t know what megumi’s status is?

ohhh may i know why? they said it’s much better when it moved to mappa? bcs tbh mappa is a good animation company, but it’s just that their working conditions that are so concerning🤧

he’s being dramatic and totally heartbroken about eren and mikasa🥹 he even has his lockscreen changed into a live wallpaper of aot🥹 i swear it’s karma bcs when gojo died, he was unapologetic towards me (he rolls his eyes 🙄 whenever i’m swooning over gojo and he is a suguru lover, btw!) and now i get the chance for a payback🥹

#so you didn’t follow aot until the end?? #or have you got spoiled 🥹🥹 #—chu’s mailbox 📬 #💌: 🪩

[smokedanced]

@survivoirs said: Lucius’ eyes glinted as club lights glided over his face for a moment. He was seated in booth at Jackie’s, watching the crowd when Izzy had walked over. Poor thing seemed nervous. Like he wanted to speak but wasn’t sure how to start it. It was a little quieter here than out on the dance floor but still loud enough nothing they said to each other would be heard by others. "You want to sit, then?" Spriggs offered, grinning softly and patting his hand on the spot next to him.

a thingy we plotted    /    ALWAYS ACCEPTING ↷

Too late to back out.

What does this make him? Saving up to pay the hefty fee to even be allowed to be considered as a customer. Paying money to the club owner so that she could do a background check on him, assess him, deem him safe for the people working under her protection. And if all goes well, paying... for sex.

It’s not that Izzy’s ever had an issue with sex workers; it’s a respectable profession... and he’s wanted to do this the right way, to make sure he’s not exploiting anyone even without the intention to, thus Jackie’s... It’s the customers he finds iffy, and yet here he is, one with that crowd. How sad does that make him, in people’s eyes? In his own eyes? That he has to pay to get fucked because he’s too much of a fucking coward to try to re-enter his old scene in BDSM circles, and doesn’t know how people do it outside of it? Fuck, at least this is still better than trying to date normal people. Perhaps transactional sex is similar to kink, in that way; everyone knows what’s expected of them and everyone’s consent and limits are plain and clear, without guessing games and people trying to make him read between the lines or whatever.

No hidden expectations.

But actually approaching Lucius has made Izzy short-circuit; he’s never felt so tense in his fucking life. Is it weird that he’s so much older? Does he look acceptable, or does it even matter? Izzy knows he’s not... He’s not very tall, and while some might call him nice and bulky, he’d call himself soft and pudgy. And he’s grey. He thinks he’s got a good sense of dress (he’s wearing a dress shirt buttoned all the way up, a black vest, fingerless leather gloves on a whim to accessorise), but that’s about it. It’s not even that he’s bothered by his own looks (most of the time he doesn’t think about such things), but if he got rejected by a sex worker because he’s too ugly, he’s not sure how he’d live that down.

Izzy clears his throat and nods at the invitation, his tension heightening, if possible, as he sits down next to the man he’s come here to meet. A public space for Lucius to decide whether he’ll accept or not; awkward as the entire situation is for Izzy, he does admire the smoothness and security Jackie runs her business with.

❝ You can probably tell I’ve never done this before, ❞    he says, trying so very hard to make light of his awkwardness.    ❝ Would you like a, uh, could I buy you a drink...? ❞    He suppresses the urge to wince. The fuck kind of a question is that? Can I get you drunk so you’ll be more likely to tolerate sleeping with me?

#survivoirs #we uh plotted for this about a year ago lol #the ask is old so to refresh your memory #basically we talked about lucius/izzy in modern verse #with lucius being a sex worker and izzy becoming his customer #i think pretty much all of what we talked was less set in stone plot and more random ideas #but it's on our discord logs. #; izzy hands ❪ muse. ❫ #; izzy hands ❪ verse / modern. ❫ #; survivoirs / lucius & izzy / 004 #i'm labeling it mature for the sex work themes

[ignoranxed]

because i am so done w losing my thoughts over the very chaotic only friends eps imma put them down here and contribute my 0.0002 cents to the OF meta

here are my stray thoughts post ep4

1. the power dynamic between boston & top: the past two eps have been sooooo layered w this but i loveee the ending of the lift scene in ep4 for the very specific reason that top is TERRIFIED of boston. the second boston turns his back to top, you can see top’s face literally melting into a scared, breathless, child-like expression, almost as if he was holding so tightly onto every last bit of courage possible to make boston feel like he could see right through him but he was actually praying ton doesn’t see through himself. like ofc there’s the whole being subjected to non-consensual sexual advances for the umpteenth time by ton and recovering from that experience thingy, but i am not able to shake away the thought that top FEARS boston.

since ep1 we see that top and ton consistently try to assert power over the other in the most petty yet desperate ways, to say the least (case in point: top’s forced eye roll in the ep1 bathroom scene & ton’s tone & choice of words in ep2 shower scene. this scene by itself too, actually. if i’ve missed anything else plss lmk!!). initially, i kinda brushed it off as part of the hookup culture depicted and the whole idea of top being “top-tier” (as in for ton he feels this need to stake claim on the most coveted & for top he feels the need to maintain his “wanted yet unattainable” rep) but post ep3&4 i am so convinced that there is something more sinister about their relationship that gives ton power over top. i just know this man’s so fucked over by boston and is still reeling from it.

2. we’re most definitely going to get a mewray: call me delulu but my man went from “it’s your life. not my concern” & “isn’t it already good for you if you quit” to “if you quit using drugs, i’ll sleep with you” in under 10 seconds. this mew bitch is gonna lose his shit and make everyone else lose their own at some point and all of the evidence i have for this could be a whole other post.

3. friend-group dynamic: this has been a nagging question for me and i saw a few other posts on this (hidden agenda has taken over my tumblr the past couple weeks so OF took a sad backseat ://) but my point basically being, why have ray, mew, cheum & ton remained friends? what’s keeping their friendship going? we know it’s a min of 2 years that they’ve all been friends for i think, but i just can’t wrap my head around why do 3 people who very often can barely stand each other, choose to do everything together? saving cheum on this cause she’s just the token lesbian who loves everyone so far. they study together, they work together, they party together, they don’t seem to have any other actual friends they hang out with so what’s keeping them tied? and why?

this ep def gave a lot more clarity on mew and ray’s friendship but my question is still not answered.

4. the SKAM colours are back!! i’m sorry but this just makes me super excited :))))))

that’s it for now and more stray thoughts will be updated as and when convenient upon arrival.

i haven’t read enough of the recent OF meta so if any of my thoughts seem repetitive or overdone, pls be kind :))

as a baby bl fan, reading meta makes my whole bl watching experience exponentially better and this is me contributing to that in my little way. okay that’s it thx xx bye

#ignorants #baby bl fan writes meta #losing my mind truly #ofts top #ofts boston #ofts mew #ofts ray #only friends the series #ofts #forcebook #firstkhao #neomark

[redlenai]

I was going throgh some old stuff of mine and oh boy, I've found really old thingies like the fanzines I've made and sold on Anime Conventions or in parks like The Planetarium

Some are sooo bad but I kind of have a bit of affection for them hahahah. Personally, the only bad thing about making Fanzines is that most of the time production wise is very expensive (At least where I live) and it was impossible to charge for them a higher price and gain an extra bit just to produce more, lol. So that's kind of why I've stoppped doing them

I did two fanzines back in 2015, named Pizza Delivery. It was about a family from the hidden world running a bussiness for other supernatural creatures, the older brother underpaying his younger sister while her only motivation was to get a motorcycle. I sold these back in the day for very cheap but dang these are so bad hahahaha. They are free to read in my Facebook Page but these are only in Spanish lol (Fanzine 1 and Fanzine 2)

I've done another one that while it was under an Editorial, it really collapsed and disappeared from the face of Earth so I sold it as another fanzine since they... kind of never asked me the money for the print or didn't register the Title at all, this was something so poorly done since I was rushing because I thought that I wouldn't get the position/opportunity if I didn't deliver this fast. This was from 2017 and also free to read on my Fanpage (Again, only in Spanish)

By digging a bit more I also found this weird entry for an Editorial's Contest, obviously I didn't win nor got a mention haha. But it was fun to try. I think I printed this one to add it into another fanzine for a small shoutout section but I can't find it anywhere (2017)

I've also done a very short story but I didn't get the chance to print it since I was still in high-school and had no money at all lol. I believe that from all these previous works, this one and Pizza Delivery's Fanzine 1 were done entirely on digital. The others were in traditional and I believe I have the papers somewhere in a briefcase (This was from 2018)

#my art #old artwork #fanzine #comic #prints #oh boy #this is old as fuck #omg #Red Lenai Artwork

[dreamrecorder]

Two - Family in the Inn

Witnessing your first five years of life, Xiao concludes that you are a keenly perceptive child.

One

Notes: Lookie~ a part two!! If you read Playing with the Wind, then you know who Brother Wind is ;) i will add the cut thingy tomorrow ksks

At the dead of the night, whispers float here and there with words that no mortal can hear and understand. They were faint, yet there was a thrill of excitement in these words. And just like the excitement the words carry, the winds pick up in a gentle and playful breeze.

To any mortal, all they would hear will be the rush of air that rustles the leaves and branches. However, there is a certain lad who hears them all. He hears the glee in these whispers tossed back and forth among the winds. He hears the wind spirits and he listens with a strum of his lyre.

Brother Wind! A child! A child!

We see a child, Brother Wind! We see a child!

A child under our brother, Demon Wind's Golden Wing!

We hear a sibling! A sibling!

Brother Wind! Do we have a new kin?

Ah, these spirits, always excited at the prospect of a new sibling. But the lad can't blame his kin for the wind spirits are always playful and innocent by nature.

Witnessing your first five years of life, Xiao concludes that you are a keenly perceptive child. He does this conclusion during a quiet night at the balcony of their home, Wangshu Inn.

Every night was a simple routine- wherein Xiao would carry you in his arms and sing a lullaby to lull you asleep. After which he would tuck you into your waiting bed, then he would go out to protect Liyue again. But for tonight, that simple routine was broken down by cheerful whispers of the wind.

Usually, Xiao would ignore these, knowing that these spirits wanted to simply mess and play with him. And usually the result would be the said spirits pestering him even more until Xiao just gives up and vanishes without a trace.

When the breeze picked up and the first wave of whispers came, what Xiao didn't expect was you to bolt right away from his hold and chase these spirits around shouting, "Wind spirits! Wind Spirits! Gēgē, can you see them?!"

At your gleeful eyes, the gentle breeze picked up in a brief moment of rush as it whispers,

They see us! They hear us!

Do you want to play with us, Little Wind?

Brother Demon Wind, can we play with Little Wind?

Of course, seeing the joy in your eyes, Xiao can't help but allow play time with a soft smile. Yet, he does not fail to remind you of your bedtime, "An hour, alright? Then you have to go to bed."

At his words, you beamed at him. Your little legs ran and with tiny arms, you hugged his legs. Looking up you exclaimed, "Thank you, gēgē!"

Ah but before you can run back to the winds, Xiao gently tugged your arm and grabbed your attention.

"Name?"

"Yes, gēgē?"

For a brief moment, Xiao carefully thought through his words. Your spiritual awareness... was quite alarming for him. "How did you know these are wind spirits?"

You hummed a bit as your body swayed in thought. "I don't know! But they feel like I played with them a lot of times before! Like-! Um, like..."

Then you're back to humming as you look for words with your brother patiently waiting.

"Aha! Like how you would play with me with your anemo!! Can I play with them now, gēgē?"

Another smile and another yes, you were now free to play with the wind!!

Play with us! Play with us, Little Wind! Thank you brother Demon Wind!

From that, Xiao concludes that you are a perceptive child. No mortal can even sense the most simplest of spirits, yet you felt them off the bat just because how much time the two of you played with his anemo. No wonder you learned quickly of his being as an adeptus. Worrisome, maybe? For such spiritual awareness also includes unkind spirits. But, at least he knows he can trust the Thousand Winds to look after you.

~~~

You were back in Liyue Harbor again, this time with your father. Since this was your second time, you were not familiar with the harbor yet. Thus, you kept close to your father as he bought the books needed for your upcoming education.

Books never failed to claim your interest, as they are always filled with stories that makes your imagination bloom in wonder. As such, books also never fail have your interest over them wane. However, for once, your interest was stolen by a cheerful voice singing along the strums of a lyre. Looking around, you find the source of such music. You couldn't see the singer, but with curiosity, you started moving towards the lull.

Thanks to your brother's anti-social skills and your small frame, you somehow got to slip through the crowd with ease as you let out occasional excuse me's. At first, the density was intimidating, but your curiosity for the bard and his voice became your motivation.

However, despite your best efforts, you didn't get to see the performance as the crowd began applauding and then going onto separate ways. To say the least, you were saddened, but when you saw the face behind music- happiness and recognition shone in your eyes.

"Brother Wind!"

Nobody- no mortal calls him that and Venti froze but thawing in an instant as he came to realization. There's only one person- one mortal who would call him that. A mortal that his kin would share stories about in glee.

"Little Wind?"

The winds always whisper words here and there. Yet these words that float amongst the leaves fluttering in the wind are never heard nor understood by mortal ears.

All except you.

The wind always tell you stories, and one of them is Brother Wind. A bard who hails from the City of Freedom and sings day and night with his words carried by his very essence. An essence you were familiar with when playing with the spirits and with your brother.

The Little Wind and Brother Wind meets! What joy! What joy!

Let us look for brother Demon Wind to tell and enjoy!

~~~

Seeing his little sibling walk hand in hand with the stupid bard had irked Xiao. With quick and agile movements, Xiao picked you up and glared at the grinning Venti. He whispered angrily at the wind, to which only the Archon can hear. Your status as Archon be damned but I am not letting you near him/her if you still have your ridiculous drinking habits.

Oh come on, Xiao! You know I would never drink in front of a child, much more in front of your little sibling!

Xiao only glared some more but Venti only kept grinning and you are getting weirded out by their contest. Probably an adult thing, you thought.

Throughout Venti's stay in the inn, it had become an embarrassing ride for Xiao. The former would poke fun at him every now and then about how he's gone soft and Xiao is this *close* to kicking him out. But he can't becuase of how suddenly attached you became to the bard. And maybe- maybe there was this twinge in his heart.

It was something that happens occasionally. A thought of doubt resurfacing in his head whenever he's alone while battling the hidden evils of the land. With geniune honesty, Xiao feels truly blessed to have you- but there are times in the darkest pits of his head, that everything he has right now- he does not deserve.

Venti would make for a better bro-

"Hey, Name, among me, the spirits, and Xiao, who's the best playmate?" Venti asked you as you colored on your notebook.

And without even missing a second, you shouted that one word again that pulled Xiao away from the dark thoughts that were about to resurface.

"Gēgē!"

But you didn't stop.

"Gege is the best in everything! He lets me play with his anemo always! And then when we play, he always lets me choose the game first and then we take turns choosing! Not only play time! There's also story time! Gēgē has the best stories! He told me stories about the glaze lillies, the Geo Archon, and the Adepti!

And then we always eat Almond Tofu if it's story time! It's so yummy and sweet and soft! Even Achi Xiangling and mama, papa and Uncle Yanxiao love gēgē's Almond Tofu! You have to try it too Brother Wind!"

All that and you finished with a proud huff of your breath!!

And all throughout, Xiao could only look at you wide teary wide eyes with mouth agape. Seeing him, you pouted, "G-gēgē, d-did I say something wrong?"

At your question, he quickly snapped out of his stupor and hugged you tight. "You did nothing wrong." He quickly reassured as he kissed your forehead.

"Then why are you crying?"

Xiao then wiped his eyes and chuckled lightly, "This is what you call happy tears, Name."

"I didn't make you sad then?"

Again, Xiao hugged you close and he felt your tiny arms do the same, "You made me the happiest than you would ever know since the moment you were born. I- I love you so much, Name."

"I love you, too, gēgē!"

Venti and the Thousand Winds had etched this moment in their memory forever. After all, this was the first time they saw their brother Demon Wind experience and reciprocate pure, genuine love to another. And on the notebook you were coloring on, was a rough drawing of you and Xiao sharing a fresh plate of almond tofu <3.

A/N: and thats it for the second ksks!! I wonder what comes next??? To those who ship xiaoven- i'll say sorry in advance bcos in terms of background relationships- it's venti and zhongli, the old geezers ksks i just love those two together lmao

Taglist: @hanniejji @suckerforgenshinboys @arson-frog-art @anime-read-write-repeat @kryzi

if you wanna get tagged just send an ask^^

#Family in the Inn #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin scenarios #xiao #genshin xiao #genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader #genshin venti #venti

[petitelepus]

Yandere mtmte please :)

I'm a girl age of 25, I'm loved by people I don't know why but being hated by family honestly don't know why either, people say my family is lucky to have me but at home I'm being blamed at anything, yelling at me, I see my siblings are being spoiled and protected, sometimes I feel I'm adopted? But no I'm their real child 100% so I spend my days with anime thingy while none of my family are interested in anime/comics they think it is for children and I'm an adult it is not suiting my age and being mocked that im Transformers fan which is for boys only.

I found your writing is inspirational and happy to see different ages of females anonymous who share the same interest.

:) thank you

Cyclonus and Tailgate are Yandere for you!

Tailgate took an immediate liking to you when he first time visited the Earth. You're human, a species he had never heard of since he spent the nice chunk of time under the ground. So when he gets to see you he is ecstatic. You're so freaking cute, he just wants to hug you and never let go.

Cyclonus is a little more in control, but humans are new creatures for him also and- Oh Frag, you and Tailgate are hugging- That's the cutest thing ever...!

Tailgate can't understand how your family, your own flesh, and blood can treat you that badly? It shouldn't matter how old you are and what you like! Clearly, you are in constant danger if kept around your family!

He and Cyclonus are Autobots, their mission is to help and preserve all living beings. So when Tailgate grabs you and hides you to his and Cyclonus' habsuite, they keep you hidden until Lost Light is lightyears away from the Earth.

But then again... Why tell others that they have you living in secret in their habsuite? Others would make Tailgate and Cyclonus return you and you're obviously happier with them than you were back on Earth with your family!

That's what they tell you at least if you happen to question why you can't see other Autobots and you don't question them because you trust them. They love and cherish you and both would be heartbroken if you were separated.

Tailgate is extremely open about how he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you and Cyclonus and the purple Autobot doesn't disagree with his minibot lover's dreams.

Cyclonus loves holding you and Tailgate in his arms whenever he can. The three of you have your movie nights nearly every day where you watch some of your favorite movies, usually anime-related.

You might tell them sometimes that they need to see the show or read the manga to understand the movie better, but they are happy to agree. You have good taste in most things, they trust you know your stuff.

They love you and have NO INTENTIONS of returning you to Earth. Even if you one day might realize that you want to return, they will talk you over by reminding you how badly you were treated there. With them, you're cherished and loved unconditionally.

#yandere #yandere matchup #mtmte #matchup #cyclonus #tailgate #transformers #transformers mtmte #Tailgate #Anon #ENJOY! #I feel you Anon #Your words touched me #I can relate to you #So ENJOY!

[writing-with-olive]

Tracking goals with a bulletin board instead of a planner

I don't know how helpful this is going to be to everyone, but switching away from using a planner was an absolute GAME CHANGER, so I'm going to share my system because it's not as intuitive as a planner, but at least for me, it's much more effective.

This got kinda long(ish) so the following is under the cut:

why I switched from using a planner to using a bulleting board

what kind of goals I set with this system

measuring success

how it actually works (how to set it up, and use it to actually track goals)

affordability (spoiler alert: it’s better than most planners)

First of all, why did I switch?

My biggest issue with using a planner was that I wasn't seeing my goals often enough. In the closed pages of a book, they are very nicely hidden, and goals I can't see are goals that don't exist. This took me, oh..... five years to realize (starting when I first tried setting and tracking goals), but once I did, everything suddenly made sense. As far as I can tell, the more often you're interacting with your goals, the more likely you are to complete them. 

What kind of goals do I set?

I track goals quarterly, which means I set new goals at the start of every three months (January, April, July, October). This is pretty effective, as I can set ambitious enough goals that I have to actually work to meet them, but there's enough space for setbacks like "I don't wanna" and "Oh look! Life!" without completly obliterating my chances of being able to finish. Quarterly goals are also pretty standard, at least for corporate America (idk about elsewhere, but it seems fairly likely).

In terms of content, I set several goals for the following catagories:

school/academics (if you don't go to school, work-based goals could go here instead)

social media and writing (most of my social media presence revolves around writing, so I kinda lump them together)

personal/private goals (home-based, tasks that I need to set aside more time to do, family, etc)

self care/habits I want to build (take a walk daily, eat breakfast, screentime limits, read books, etc)

This quarter, I have five for each section, which means twenty goals overall. That's a lot. (I'll get to my metric of success in a sec) The benifit though, is that pretty much all of the most important parts of my life are accounted for, meaning that it's not about making time for my goals, it's about structuring my day so that the bulk of it focuses on one goal or another. Whenever I'm bored, I can see what I have on my goals list, and I'm usually able to find something that's interesting to me in the moment. (This method of spreading out goals to cover multiple facets of my life is heavily inspired by Jenna Moreci's goalsetting method)

How does success work?

(The stuff above was adapted from Jenna Moreci. This part is lifted wholesale from what she does.) I have a lot of goals. Because of that, it's pretty unlikely that I'm going to be able to complete all of them, and setting that expectation is a great way to end up failing, and lacking the motivation to do much of anything. Therefore, a successful quarter is completing at least 50% of the set goals. It's still a challenge - I still have to complete 10 goals in 12 weeks, but it's doable. A success is listed as a win, whereas not completing 50% is a loss. Since I am a competitive person by nature, putting it in a win/lose dichotomy is an excellent motivator. 

This is great and all, but how do you actually set it up?

Okay this is the fun stuff! So it would seem like the board would get pretty crowded pretty quick, but it actually doesnt. 

I do all of my tracking on notecards. Each card holds five goals on them, which I write in pen, and I mark my progress by highlighting a progress bar on top of the row I've written my goal on. This means I can tell at a glance what goals I have the most or least progress on, and approximately how far I have left to go. I don't have to get bogged down by writing out fractions/percentage completion, which would definitely clutter things up. 

To set my board up overall, I used string to block out four columns, each with header labels: Quarter, Week, Day, and Other.

The quarter column is where I list all of my goals I've set without breaking it down into little pieces. I have four notecards in this section, each with five goals apiece. It's the way I track how far I am toward completing the whole goal. Since some goals take most of the quarter to complete, I only update the progress bars once a week. 

The week column also has five notecards, but broken down into pieces I can accomplish in a seven-day period. Usually, I set it up, so that the goals on each card directly correspond to the goals on the quarter goal card to it's direct left. You can mix and match which goals you work on any given week, but it's effective for both keeping everything organized, and also for making sure I'm not neglecting anything. I also make sure to label each of the week goals what it's the week of (for example [W- Mar 4] would indicate that this is a weekly goal card, and also that it's the week of March 4th). This is useful in case I want to go back and see what I was up to at any given time. 

The day column looks a little different in that there are only two notecards. This is to help limit what what volume I'm trying to take on, because one of the biggest demotivaters is seeing a giant pile of work and knowing there's no way to finish it in the time you've got. Usually, I align the first card with the top row established by my quarter/weekly goals, and I write out five things I want to achieve during the day based off what I've written in my top two weekly goal cards. The other card is on the third row, and corresponds to the third and fourth weekly goal cards. As a very strict rule, I don't give myself more than four hours of work each day (this excludes going to class). I've experimented with other timeframes, and I've found going over that number means my chances of doing what I've set out to do plummet if I assign myself more. 

The Other section is where I keep all of my past week/day notecards. On top, I have my weekly goal notecards in one of those triangular paper clamp thingys (I have been informed that these are technically referred to as binder clips), organized in chronological order, with the most recent at the front. Below that, I have my daily goals. This way, I have my progress easily accessible (this comes in useful for proving that yes, I did do the dishes three times last week and yes, it's your turn)

How affordable is it?

Actually really affordable. Yes, it takes up more wall space, but you can get a bulletin board for about $20-$45 depending on where you shop (sometimes they cost more, but usually you can find one in the given range). Notecards cost on average about $3-$4 per 100 card pack (which lasts about two months if you use front and back). Thumbtacks cost about two to three dollars, and a small ball of yarn costs about three to seven dollars. This means tracking for the first quarter costs about $35-$60 dollars, but every quarter following is between $4 and $7. 

For comparison, most quarterly planners, cost about $25-$35 dollars per quarter.

Over a year, that adds up to:

 $50 - $80 for a bulletin board tracker

$100 - $140 for quarterly planners

Over two years, it adds up to

$65 - $100 for a bulletin board tracker

$200 - $280 for quarterly planners

Anyway, that got pretty long, but maybe it'll be helpful to you!

#writeblr #goalsetting #productivity #writers on tumblr #time management #quarterly goals #studyblr #academia #school #work #corporate america #completing goals #bulletin board #smart goals #highlighter progress bar #affordability #win lose system #olive's writing vibes

[ninjago-happens-here]

@ninjago-angst-week sorry I'm late!

Day 6: Anger

Kai hates the universe for everything. Surprisingly, his teammates don’t agree.

Or 5 times where Kai lets anger control him, and 1 time he doesn't.

Word count: 13,944

- Nya - It’s been 6 days. Kai has spent all his time at Wu’s Monastery doing nothing but training and passing out from exhaustion. The only reason why he kept going was his love of his sister- and his spite against the universe. First Spinjitsu Master, why had Lord-fucking-Germadon take his sister as a hostage? He was just a poor blacksmith, trying his best to make ends meet and to get a proper education for his bright, 14-year-old sister. But the universe has decided to throw another curveball at him by forcing him to become a ninja and complete this stupid course-

“ARGH!” Kai shouted in frustration as he was thrown off by the training course, again. “Failed,” Wu said and took a sip of his tea. Punching the obstacle course, with another shout, Kai seethed, seeing the colour red dancing all over his eyes. What did the old man know about saving people anyways? Why can’t he just fight Wu and be done with it? Graduate his class, be finally given the location to where his sister is, and end this chapter of his life- because he was all for it.

Looking for his tormentor, Kai noticed that Wu has slipped away, with all the stealth that only a ninja master has.

Taking deep breaths, Kai balled his fists even tighter, nails pressing indents into his palms. Tomorrow. There still was tomorrow. And by god was he going to pass because he won’t let his sister spend another day in captivity.

All he needed to do was complete the training course before Wu finishes his tea.

He had done it. Of course, it took a well-timed sword throw to technically pass, but he was done sitting around and waiting for some unknown force to rescue Nya. Master Wu told him to get a goodnight’s rest as they were going to leave in the morning. Yeah right. As if he wasn’t going to spend this night tossing and turning around again.

He didn’t spend the night staring into the ceiling of the monastery. Rather, he was rudely ambushed by 3 men dressed in black, who actually weren’t as much of a challenge that Kai thought they would pose. Huh, maybe the training Sensei Wu put him through was pretty useful after all.

All praises for the cryptic old man were thrown away once Wu revealed the 3 men to be his students. Seriously? Didn’t Wu just tell him to get a good night’s rest? Kai barely kept the snarl inside him when Wu did his spinjitzu thingy and he suddenly was in an entirely different get-up.

Hey! Kai thought angrily. What’s the big deal? The garment was loose-fitting and a solid shade of red, and whilst red may be Kai’s colour, the garb was still drab-looking and overall, not something Kai would have picked out for himself..

Wu then gave a quick introduction of the 3 men who attacked him, who were probably called Jey, Zain, and Coal. Hey, don’t look at him like that! It’s not like he had the time to go to school and learn Maths and the Ninjago Alphabet. Anyways, they were all, apparently Elemental Masters? Of lightning, ice and earth nonetheless. Now, Kai can understand Earth. And Kai of course can give a testament to fire. But what do lightning and ice have to do with the elements? Shouldn’t it be Air, Water, Earth, and Fire or something along those lines? What was the FSM thinking, naming these the elements of creation?

Just as Kai was about to head back into the monastery and actually catch a few Zs, Wu called to them telling them that they have to protect the 4 weapons of spinjitzu in order to beat Garmadon to them, for the Skulkin must have taken the map that Wu had hidden in the Four Weapons.

“And rescue my sister,” Kai stated, daring anyone to challenge this non-negotiable mission.

“We’re rescuing a girl? Is she hot?” The ninja in blue (seriously, why blue on a ninja? It really does not help his stealth) just straight up asked Kai if his sister was hot. Kai’s first instinct, of course, was to punch Jay hard in the teeth, followed by an elbow straight to his gut. But if he was going to be teammates with this guy, he had to control his urges and only glare at him through the convenient slit in his mask. The blue ninja chuckled nervously as Kai’s eyes bore holes into him.

“Does she like blue?”

“Back. Off.”

“When we find the weapons, we will find your sister. We rise at dawn to look for the Scythe of Quakes in the Caves of Despair,” Wu concluded the impromptu meeting at night, which diffused the tension between Kai and Jay. The fiery anger he felt pooling in the balls of his hands started to dissipate. In fact, most of his energy was gone too. Kai felt like he was sagging under the weight on his shoulders and immediately headed for his room, where he collapsed immediately upon reaching the soft, inviting mattress. It was the best sleep he had in possibly years.

Of course, Sensei Wu upheld his promise of rousing them at dawn to go collect the first Golden Weapon. What he didn’t warn the ninja beforehand was that he was going to use them to be his literal slaves, and Kai spent the morning running whilst pulling a carriage like a horse. This has to be illegal, Kai grumbled to himself. He was starting to be seriously short on breath. Luckily, his teammates seem to at least have some strength and endurance training, so whilst he was stationed at the easy middle, Cole was at the front spearheading the charge whilst still holding conversations like it was no big deal.

“So…huff, how did Sensei find you guys?” Kai panted, wanting to learn more about his teammates.

“Let’s just say if it wasn’t for Sensei Wu, we wouldn’t be seen together.“ Cole started

“I was testing my limits,” Cole gave a brief description of how when he was rock climbing, he found Sensei Wu already at the top of the mountain, drinking tea and offering him a cup.

“I was testing my inventions,” Jay also panted out, and tried to ramble about how he was testing a flying machine and crashed through a billboard (what?) before seeing Sensei Wu, was also drinking tea and offering him a cup. He couldn’t really talk too much, because at this point he was getting tired too.

“And I, was testing myself,” Zane said, whilst recalling how he was practicing to hold his breath underwater for even longer periods of time when he found Sensei Wu sitting next to him at the bottom of the pond, still somehow drinking tea before offering some to him, which immediately led Zane to choke.

“You’re right, if it wasn’t for Sensei, none of us would-” Kai said before Wu shouted at them to stop. They were here.

Immediately, everything felt more real to Kai. The drowsiness that he felt clouding his mind was cleared as pure adrenaline shot through his veins. He couldn’t fail now. Not when Nya’s life was on his hands. All he has to do was to collect 4 Ancient Weapons that have powers and he would be able to face off with Lord Garmadon. Jumping into action, he weaved through the Skulkin that were strolling and working in the area, body moving in autopilot and mind focusing on only one thing: Get the weapon.

On his way to the opening of the cave, Kai spotted Samurai reading the map to the 4 Golden Weapons on a watchtower. Kai immediately took a detour and climbed up onto the roof, where he could see Samukai reading the map.

“What’s the matter with you,” Jay whispered, hitting Kai on the head. Kai shushed him, before returning to watch Samukai laugh menacingly whilst holding the map upside down. Kai wondered how incompetent he was one week ago to have let this guy kidnap his sister. “The Golden Weapon is near,” Zane observed, before taking out a shuriken with a rope attached before looking at Cole for confirmation and then throwing it done, landing squarely in the middle of the map before pulling it back, holding the prize squarely in his hands.

There was no time to waste. Kai immediately backflipped off the building before climbing to the outcrop where 2 guards were stationed. Picking up a convenient lamp head, Kai carefully snuck by the 2 guards before ducking into the cave system. Kai began to start pushing the rock blocking the path to the weapon. But no matter how much he exerted himself, it didn’t move one inch. He felt like he was trying to make a sword again, doing everything he could but still failing. Grunting and groaning, Kai gave it his all.

Not soon enough, Kai heard the footsteps of his teammates.

“Hey, before you race off again, you gotta remember that we’re a team.” Cole’s patronizing voice made Kai stop his futile attempts at trying to push the boulder on his own. Kai looked at the 3 Ninja before sighing. “Yeah, whatever.”

The white, black and blue Ninja gathered around him and they all started to push, actually managing to shift the rock. Giving the rock his all, Kai did enough on his part to be suddenly be blasted by a golden light, shining from the cavern behind the rock. As his eyes got used to the sudden brightness, Kai spotted the Golden Scythe, sitting on top of a weird creature’s head.

“Woah, that is SO COOL!” Jay exclaimed, and his voice reverberated throughout the entire cave. Kai cringed from his volume. Here’s to hoping that the entire skeleton army outside won’t discover them. Cole shushed Jay again, before pulling out the Golden Scythe and jumping back down onto the cave floor. Wrapping it in a sheet of canvas, Cole once again reminded Jay to not be so loud.

“Oh, don’t be paranoid!” Jay brushed off the sentiment. Kai couldn’t believe that this guy was his teammate. “We’re totally on the other side of the caves!”

“Zip it, okay?” Cole admonished the blue Ninja whilst handing the wrapped Scythe of Quakes to Kai. It’s okay with him. As long as he can make sure that this weapon is safe which in turn ensures that Nya is safe, he’s alright with taking the Scythe. “Now that we’ve got the Scythe, let’s sneak out whilst the boneheads are still busy.”

“Alright team, everyone sticks together. Way out is right around the corn-“ Cole suddenly came face to face with Samukai. All Kai could think at that moment was Fuck the blue guy. Because seriously. Now he was going to have to fight these guys. And alright, honestly- Kai was more than happy to throw hands with the skeletons that captured his sister. In fact, he’s been waiting all week to do so. But come on, this guy was supposed to be a ninja? Pulling out his sword, Kai stayed in the middle of his teammates for a bit as they tried their hardest to protect the Scythe, but quickly they were drawn by enemies elsewhere and the red ninja was left in a precarious situation.

“Kai! Throw it here!” Thank god for Zane. Honestly, he took back what he said about how this guy takes things a bit too seriously, now that he was in the heat of battle and could feel every beat of his heart. Kai heaved the heavy weapon to Zane. Immediately, the heat was taken off him and Zane had to pass the Scythe to Cole as he was dog-piled by 3 Skulkin in seconds. Cole made it past a long line of skeletons before catching the Golden Weapon, but Kai could see 5 to 6. no, 9, 10- argh, who cares! Either way, there were too many enemies.

“Let me handle it!” Jay shouted, taking out a couple of enemies quickly, before exclaiming, “Hey! Guys!”

“It’s just like the training course! Over the planks, dodge the swords- here comes the dummy!”

Kai heard multiple enemies being defeated before a bright blue light shined through the caverns as this guy did spinjitzu. What. The. Heck. Kai’s level of respect for him instantly rose.

“Jay! What’s the key?” Kai waved at his teammate desperately. He had to do spinjitzu too- if he ever was going to see Nya again.

“Hehe, I’m just going through the motions! This is what Sensei must have meant when he said we already know it!” Jay laughed from inside his tornado as Kai watch him take down 4 enemies in one second. Kai contemplated this for a moment, before relying on his muscle memory to dodge a couple of Skulkin.

“Over the planks, dodge the swords- here comes the dummy!” Spinning in a beautiful vortex of red, orange, and yellow, Kai saw the world around him slow down as he moved with enhanced power and agility, taking down enemies with incredible ease.

“RETREAT!” Samurai shouted, and Kai could hear the screams of the skeleton army mixing with the beautiful chime of his team’s spinjitzu. Slowing down, Kai stopped his spinjitzu and surprisingly, didn’t feel dizzy. Man, this spinjitzu thing is really cool.

“Hah! Guess they didn’t want a second serving of these babies,” Cole flexed his biceps as Kai and Jay both shook their heads in dismay. “Good thing they didn’t check out the merchandise on the back!”

From the corner of his eye, Kai watched as Cole turned around to emphasise his point. Alright, 2 can play at the end game. Raising the Golden Weapon of Spinjitsu, Kai cheered and high fives Jay. That dude has many faults, but he would be able to have Kai’s back in a moment of need, and Kai vows to watch his back too.

“Uh… guys?” Cole stammered. Kai and Jay rolled their eyes. What was Cole trying to get at now?

“Didn’t Sensei say there was a guardian protecting the weapons?” Zane recalled. Kai tilted his head to the side, before turning to his right AND WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT.

“Is that- a..a, that’s- not what I think it is, isit?” Cole blubbered, his voice an octave higher.

“Y-you mean a dragon?” Jay stammered.

“Uh, that sure looks like a dragon!” Kai panicked, his voice on the edge of a scream.

“I sense that we won’t be able to spin our way out of this one,” Zane stated with the calmest out of any of them.

Out of the blue, the dragon breathed out a breath of earth, and Kai was suddenly flung to the side. Screams filled the cavern as his teammates landed from their dodge. getting up on his feet, Kai immediately started to run towards the exit, clutching the Golden Weapon tightly. Unfortunately, they were cornered, and Kai did the only thing he thought he could.

Removing the canvas, Kai moved to use the weapon but was stopped by Jay, stating something about how Sensei told them not to.

“Well you better keep your mouth shut,” Kai growled as he ran towards the otherworldly creature. Nothing was going to stand in his way from reaching his sister. Cole shouted something at him, but he raised the weapon high above his head and brought it down to the earth in front of the dragon, causing a split in the ground like a fault line and the cave started to shake. The dragon was temporarily rendered stunned as a large piece of rock fell on his head. It reacted too late, for Kai and his team were getting out of here.

“We gotta escape!” Kai said frantically. Looking up, he and his team saw the caverns opening up to the skies. “We’ll use spinjitzu!” Cole proclaimed, and Kai spun into his tornado, finding that the boost in speed and strength was exactly what he needed to make through the opening in the ceiling of the cave.

Landing on the ground in front of his sensei (on both feet, take that Zane and Jay!) Kai immediately devolved into cheering and celebrating with his teammates, because who wouldn’t after such an adrenaline high? They were 1 weapon closer to finding Nya, and Kai had learned the amazing art of Spinjitsu, and he had just escaped from a dragon.

“ENOUGH!” Sensei Wu shouted. Kai immediately felt his mood sinking. “I told you not to use the scythe!!” Of course, Jay, then Cole, immediately threw Kai under the bus.

“Using it was my only option!” Kai said, starting to get frustrated with his teacher and teammates. Couldn’t they see it that was a matter of life or death? He just saved all of their sorry asses!

“And what makes you think that you’re more important than your team? Huh? Huh!?” Wu got closer to Kai’s face, and he was not happy. Not happy with this at all.

“They took my sister, remember?” Kai stated angrily. Who did the old man think he was? Nya was everything to him, and losing her- Kai did not want to think about losing her.

“There are still 3 weapons left. Maybe next time, you can do it right,” Wu admonished him, and Kai could only watch as his teammates follow in their master’s footsteps. Whatever. It’s not like he needed a team. Hoisting the scythe onto his shoulders, Kai swore that nothing, not even the First Spinjitsu himself, would stop him from saving Nya.

Over the course of the next few days, Kai learned of a technique called the ‘Tornado of Creation’ as they journeyed all over north Ninjago and found 2 of the remaining 3 weapons. Just before they headed to the Fire Temple, Wu made them all rest, for some reason he was unwiring to share. Kai privately thought that it was for them to recuperate their energy because his sister was going to be the one they rescue next, and once he got his hands on the Sword of Fire, nothing would be able to stand in his way, his team included. If he was being honest with himself, Kai was grateful that they had time to celebrate his past achievements. They had been through so much climbing, exploring, and journeying these fast few days and they have beaten Garmadon’s Army too many times to not do something about it. His mood was so great that he even invited Sensei Wu to dance with them as Cole played the bongo drums that they had stolen from the skeleton army at one point.

Kai didn’t know when he fell asleep, but what he did know was that he was roused awake by a voice whispering his name. At first, he was groggy with exhaustion, but the second time Nya called out to him, Kai was wide awake. Looking at the source of the sound, Kai saw his sister standing directly at the edge of his camp. Immediately, Kai felt a great wave of relief wash over him. His sister looked, at least in the dark, fine and free from any visible injuries. He was just about to get up and reunite with his sister when she suddenly stated that she had to go, and started to run away from him.

Kai immediately shot to his feet, alarmed. There was definitely something wrong. He followed her as best as he could through the dense forest, calling out to her, but not receiving a reply. He was led to a temple sitting right next to a volcano. Ghostly whispers of his name reached him as he saw his sister’s vague figure entering the temple.

“Nya?” In a heartbeat, he arrived at the front of the temple. Fully pushing open the doors, Kai was blown away by the cavern and the inviting, welcoming warmth of the lava that slowly cranked up the further he went. In fact, it was slowly stifling, and Kai wanted to grab Nya and get out as fast as he could. Looking all over the place for her, Kai saw the image of his sister appear right in front of the Sword of Fire.

“Nya!” Kai said with a smile, running towards the platform. He was praising FSM for this miracle when suddenly, he skidded to a halt as Nya transformed into a large shadow that laughed menacingly. It was Garmadon. And he- was dangling Nya, wrapped in iron chains, on top of a pool of lava.

“KAI!!” Nya shouted desperately. The red ninja called back to his sister, as Garmadon taunted him, stating that only by removing the sword, could he save his sister. And as much as Kai hated the fact- Garmadon was right. There was nothing he could do but take the sword and save his sister. Nya begged Kai not to listen, but the chain had suddenly lowered her even more, and the screams of his baby sister were too much for Kai to bear. Taking a deep breath, Kai did a series of acrobatics pulling out the Sword of Fire and doing spinjitzu on the walls in order to get to Nya, and then to get her to safety on the other side. Landing o the warm rock, Kai pulled his sister up and told her to stay close.

Then Garmadon appeared directly in front of him, and Kai changed his mind. Not long after, he was getting beat up by a shadow- a shadow of all things! Then, Garmadon played extremely dirty and duplicated himself, and in no time at all, Kai lost the sword and Garmadon picked it up. Tired, out of breath, and running on a combined 18 hours of sleep this past week and a half, Kai collapsed and couldn’t move any further.

Just in time, Sensei Wu arrived and started to use his shadow to properly fight Garmadon. As Kai could only sit and watch, he saw Sensei Wu’s incredible usage of shadows, and his respect for him rose even more. But soon, the feeling of calmness turned into panic as he remembered his 3 teammates who were probably out like a light.

Nya gave Kai a hand to stand up, and they both moved to be closer to Wu. Soon, they were assaulted by Garmadon showing them that the Skulkin has taken Kai’s brothers and 3 of the 4 Golden Weapons.

“My brother must not unite the 4 weapons. We must keep them apart!” Sensei Wu commanded, to which Garmadon responded by rousing the dragon guardian. With a swipe of its flaming hot tail, the Fire Dragon blocked the entrance of the Fire Temple. There was no way out.

“He’s taken away all our options!” Kai said, starting to panic even more as the Fire Dragon breathed on them.

“All but one.” And soon, Kai lost his Sensei to the Underworld. Feeling terribly guilty for not being a better student and teammate, Kai collapsed on his knees. However, he was soon confronted with greater, immediate danger.

Luckily, he seemed to be able to talk down the dragon that was guarding the sword. They reached an understanding that they were trying to protect the weapons from Garmadon, and just in time too. He heard his teammates outside the temple and Flare did too, opening the temple dramatically. Too soon, he had to split from Nya again. But he would return in no time at all, with all members on his team.

Through a great load of traveling by dragon, managing to use the Tornado of Creation, and watching Samurai get vaporised whilst Garmadon passed into a portal to another realm, they eventually returned to Ignacia, and Kai could finally feel safe again. Of course, he immediately slept for 3 days straight after making sure that Nya was doing alright and that she could take care of herself for the next few days.

This was not the first time he was fuelled by only his fire, and unfortunately for his body- it would not be the last.

- Lloyd - The next time that Kai could say with 100% certainty that he hated the universe was when Garmadon decided that it was a good idea to turn them into all children. They then had to be saved by Lloyd, his baby brother, but in return- he had grown. Too fast. Way too fast.

And Kai had to look at his failure, his inability to protect Lloyd because it falls on his shoulder to at least stay beside the green bean whilst he deals with the fact that he was older now. And whatever fallout was happening with his body. Because whilst Lloyd can try to insist that he’s fine for the 100th time, Kai is not letting him get out of bed whilst he has a 40 degree fever.

So whilst Kai stews angrily at the edge of Lloyd’s bed, he reflects on all the things he’s going to punch the First Spinjitsu Master for. Honestly, he did not know where the thought came from, but today was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Kai will be honest- he hadn’t always been this friendly with Lloyd. In fact, if he saw someone else doing what he did to the kid when they first met, he would sock them in the eye, no questions asked. (In fact, he wanted to do that to himself now.) But then he got close to the brat. He saw himself in the kid, just- lost without an anchor as Kai had in Nya. And the ‘demon spawn’ became ‘kid’, and ‘kid’ became Kai’s baby brother. Kai’s baby brother who he lost at the arcade just because he was too focused on his ego, going after the damned Samurai who turned out to be his baby sister. Seems like Kai can’t do much protecting at all.

After Kai had rescued Lloyd from the volcano (Fuck you Pythor), it was revealed that Lloyd was the Green Ninja, and would, in turn, have to fight Garmadon And whilst at first Kai felt elated that the search for the Green Ninja was long over, he then felt horrible to see Garmadon and Lloyd falling out as both knew that they had to fight each other. Kai could see Lloyd’s lip tremble as his father released the hug, and almost start to cry when Garmadon disappeared after having saved the Ninja and the fang blades.

He knew that Lloyd had it especially hard, seeking his father’s approval and attention, yet not getting it as Garmadon tried his hardest to delay the oncoming final battle, but furthered it instead. He saw Lloyd look incredibly small in their tiny apartment, and wished that he had just earned more money, or that he had somehow managed to defeat the Great devourer instead of Garmadon.

Yet all he could do was comfort Lloyd when he opens up about Darkley’s (boy, wasn’t that’s something they’d have to unpack in the future) before they returned to the accursed school, or treat Lloyd’s sore muscles before the kid has to inevitably wake up at 5 AM tomorrow to do an insane amount of training.

He hates how all the pressure in the world is hoisted by the shoulders of his baby brother, and he would do anything, anything to give Lloyd a good childhood.

Now, he can’t even do that. Unless the element of time exists, all he could do was count the numbers of a good childhood Lloyd had on one hand. And goddamnit. All Kai really wanted to do was to give Lloyd the childhood didn’t have, not the incomplete one he had given Nya that ended with a kidnapping. Was that too much to ask for?

A drop of a hot tear escaped Kai’s eyes and rolled down his cheek. Quickly snapping his head towards Lloyd, he saw that he’s fallen asleep. Okay, thank FSM for that. Kai did not want Lloyd to see his big brother cry. Now, Kai didn’t want to be a bad brother. But he wasn’t Lloyd’s only family left. He’ll just ask Zane to watch over him as he runs the training course at Dareth’s dojo.

Or maybe not, Kai thought as he sat on the roof, hidden by water tanks and billboards as he had a meltdown. He didn’t even know why he was crying! All he knows is that suddenly, he can’t stop the water flowing from his eyes, even as his own body heat evaporates them as soon as they are shed. His head was still stuffy even though the night air breezed past him. All he wanted to do was to shout, screen- anything to release the tension he’s been building up in his body. Now that he’s reached his breaking point, he was ready to release like a coiled spring.

But he couldn’t. They were living in the midst of Ninjago city, not on the Destiny’s Bounty. And they would get kicked out of their cramped apartment if Kai just shouted at the night skies. So Kai hissed, growled, and wrapped his hands around himself, and squeezed as much as he could. He wanted to fight anybody, be it serpentine, skulkin, Garmadon, or even the First Spinjitsu Master himself.

The air around him got even more suffocating as his fist couldn’t find anything to connect to.

And suddenly, the roof hatch opened suddenly, scaring the living hell out of Kai Smith. Jumping into action and getting into a ready stance, Kai immediately felt the tension dissipate as it revealed that it was just Cole.

“Wow Kai, you must be really wounded up to be spooked like that,” Cole commented whilst giving Kai a smirk. Kai glared back at his team leader before futilely trying to wipe his face clean. Ah well. He tried. Cole snorted. “I always knew that you were a big softy.”

“Got any reason why you came up here?” Kai grunted. His ego had taken enough bruising these past few weeks.

“Of course buddy. I needed to spar with someone at full strength, and since Zane is looking after Lloyd and Jay won’t be able to effectively take my hits, I had to find you.”

“Psh, whatever. You’re in luck that I need to let off some heat too,” Kai shrugged off.

“Cool. Race you to Dareth’s Dojo?”  “You’re on.”

In a few minutes, Kai would come to regret his decision. Hey, it wasn’t his idea to race with the idiot who got himself dehydrated via crying. Still, falling in only just a step behind Cole (It’s been 80 years, Coke joked), he grabbed the energy drink Cole held out to him and take an unprofessionally huge gulp. Man, was he going to feel that later. Still, a promise was a promise, even if it was a verbal agreement. He watched Cole do his warm-up stretches before settling into his own normal routine.

Too soon, they rolled out the sparring mats, and Kai had a fleeting feeling of vertigo. Why had he agreed to this again? Oh yeah. Lloyd’s life is shit, and I can’t do anything. Balling his fists tightly, he started to bounce from on the balls of his feet.

Too soon, he ended up on the mat. And then again. And again. When he was defeated for the 4th time, Cole called for a break and sat down next to Kai, who was lying on the mat and just staring straight into the sky.

“Why did destiny make him grow up so fast?” Kai’s voice was trembling too hard for even Cole’s liking. “It’s not your fault-“

“IT IS MY FAULT! My fault, that I couldn’t protect him! Not from the serpentine, not from Garmadon, not from destiny!What’s my worth as a protector if I can’t even defend the one destiny said I must?!” Kai wailed out, enraged with everything. After his anger outburst, Kai breathed out deeply as his whole body sagged, the tension broken. They sat in silence as Kai contemplated what he was going to do next.

“You know Kai? Maybe you should talk with the Green Bean about this. But just so you know, no one is blaming you for what Garmadon had to do, and in turn what Lloyd had to do in order to save all of us,” Cole responded and stood up. “Thank you anyways for agreeing to spar with me.”

He offered a hand, to which Kai grabbed and was pulled upright.

“You go ahead. I’ll go wipe down the mats here,” Cole stated. It was a regular schedule that they had made up in order to reduce the amount of traffic using their tiny bathroom, and Kai gratefully accepted the chance to go first. If he was going to talk to Lloyd, he had to at least get his spikes up to regular Kai standard.

After doing the bare minimum amount of cool-down stretches, Kai took a swig of the energy drink as he jogged back home. After showering and gelling up his hair, Kai was ready to sit down with Lloyd and just- talk. He finished his bottle and prepared some sandwiches as the sun rose on Ninjago City, showering the apartment in fragmented light.

Just on time, Lloyd returned from his morning run, this time accompanied by Zane. Kai patiently waited for him to be done with his shower before Lloyd sat down right beside him and took out a peanut butter and jam sandwich from the small pile on the plate. Zane gave Kai an acknowledging nod as he went to grab his work bag before going back out the door.

“Hey, bud. How’re you doing?” Kai started tentatively. Lloyd, having just taken a huge bite of the pb&j, looked mildly alarmed at the confrontation, but still answered after finishing the bite.

“…honestly Kai? My bones don’t feel on fire anymore and Zane has said that my fever had gone down through the night. Still, I don’t regret what I had done,” Lloyd responded earnestly before taking another bite of the bread. If Kai didn’tknow better he would have thought that the kid had faced starvation before, because he was still eating as if the food could be taken away at any moment. Keyword: thought.

Kai really wanted to continue the talk after Lloyd had his fill, but knew that Lloyd’s busy schedule didn’t allow for such talks. So, he pushed down all the instincts that screamed that he was a bad brother and gritted his teeth.

“I know that that wasn’t your choice-“

“It was my choice!” Lloyd cut in even though he was still chewing. Gulping down another mouthful of food, Lloyd continued. “… because if I couldn’t even consider that my choice, how much of my life can I say that belongs to me?”

Kai was stunned into silence. In his mind, he didn’t think that Lloyd had thought of throwing the tea like that. He wondered how much Lloyd had been holding in inside of him, how much he had to endure being told by people that he hadn’t had a choice. Thinking back to the time where he couldn’t save Nya without listening to others on what he had to do, Kai felt even worse. Cole was right- he wasn’t at fault for this specific action that Lloyd did, but he was at fault for not being understanding enough, or even approachable enough.

Taking advantage of Kai’s speechlessness, Lloyd finished up his sandwich before reaching into the pile and taking out another, this time picking out a Nutella and cheese combination.

“It’s not just that. Now, I can finally go on missions with you guys. Now, you guys don’t have to hold back on me, and I can train for longer amounts of time. The Final Battle will be on us whether we’re ready or not, and I too would feel much safer if I am prepared to… to face my father,” Lloyd said before continuing to stuff his face with breakfast.

Kai’s brain began to work again, and he formulated a good enough response. “…Alright buddy, but just so you know, you’re still not going on missions with us.” Lloyd’s face immediately formed a pout and Kai grinned, rubbing his blonde hair. “Also, since when did you start speaking like that? ‘The Final Battle will be on us whether we’re ready or not.' Wow, such language. Much eloquence.”

“That’s because you guys gave me 2 hours to spend studying Uncle Wu’s books every day,” Lloyd huffed in annoyance, having finished another mouthful of bread. “But seriously Kai, please don’t be angry for me. It really isn’t your fault.”

Kai mused over those words as he watched Jay trained Lloyd with his acrobatic abilities. Of course, the kid was still getting used to his taller and larger limbs, but Kai could see him improve at an incredibly fast rate. Lloyd was right, in a sense. He didn’t really have the legal right to worry over Lloyd’s physical and mental wellness, but still- he was Kai. Master of Fire, protector of the Green Ninja, and he should be allowed to feel the fuel of his anger at any time he so pleases. If it happens to be an injustice to his trainee and well- who can blame him?

He accidentally fell asleep during Lloyd and Jay’s training, having to catch up to last night’s lost sleep, and boy was that a bad idea. He forgot one of the most important rules within the Ninja’s family: Do not fall asleep when with Lloyd and Jay, because those two can pull some terrible pranks.

Kai didn’t notice anything wrong until he passed Dareth’s trophies and saw that his beautiful hair was not spiked. Kai swore that when he sees those two again, he would chase after them until they begged for mercy because Kai cannot be seen in public with hair like this! Feeling his eye twitch, Kai wondered if Lloyd was going to be the cause of him popping a blood vessel.

Years later, Kai would realise that indeed, Lloyd would give him his first grey hair at 19. That damned brat.

- Zane - When Zane… left the team, all Kai could feel was a sense of numbness. He floated through a fuzzy reality as nothing seemed real to him anymore. His family was in shambles, broken pieces that were scattered without their missing piece completing them. The fact that Zane was gone didn’t really register to him until they had asked Lloyd to do a speech honouring the titanium ninja. Lloyd, face as pale as the gi Zane used to wear, couldn’t say any words, so he volunteered to step up for his brother. Lloyd looked at him with thanks, before disappearing off to whatever world he was in just moments before. Kai joined him, staring aimlessly at their ceiling, before having to get up and pen down words that he was going to say, to honour Zane.

He realised that he couldn’t, really couldn’t. The words just wouldn’t come out of his ink pen, even though he was pretty much literate now. He could only manage to jot down a few words that summarised what Zane was to him. A brother. A teammate. A fellow Ninja. Built to protect those who cannot protect themselves. But words can't do Zane justice. How could he capture Zane's cool-like grace, his calm calculation when it matters most? Zane's amazing cooking, his incredible kindness, and all-around sweet nature? How could he describe his first time meeting him, first time working with him, when he discovered his true potential and saved all of their sorry asses? How could he do all that?

Hot, angry tears dribbled down from Kai’s eyes as he hunched over their kitchen table. No, this wasn’t going to do. Kai decides that he'll just have to wing it.

As soon as he had finished his speech and paid proper respect to Zane, Kai left his family and just wandered around aimlessly, going from bar to bar to drink and inevitably get into fights.

Having been thrown out of almost all bars in Ninjago city for ‘disrupting common services’, whatever that was supposed to mean, Kai soon found himself standing in front of Yang’s Tavern. From what he heard, this place was run by quite a few Serpentine and they had a ‘Slither Pit’. Whatever that meant. What Kai needed to do was to feel his fist connect to something flesh-like, and he will be okay.

Months passed, as Kai found himself falling deeper and deeper into Ninjago’s criminal organisations. Under the name ‘The Red Shogun’, he would remain the undefeated champion, all whilst working for different kinds of bosses as ‘security’. Kai knew that he shouldn’t be doing this, that he shouldn’t be helping criminals get away with their criminal activity, shouldn’t have let human merchandise go under his nose. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. Nothing really mattered after Zane’s death. Nothing had mattered at all. Kai was stuck down in the pits of hell, drinking himself to half-death before the barkeep regulated his intake just so that he could bring in the cash that Kai made through betting, before receiving poor attempts to reach out by Lloyd.

Somehow, the kid had gotten the number of his burner phone. He even sent mail to the bar, to which Kai and his bar buddies had laughed at. Kai didn’t feel too bad for ignoring the kid. Zane’s death was partially his fault anyways. (Nromal Kai would have been horrified to hear him think this.) Kai was angry. Angry that Lloyd didn’t try hard enough. Didn’t try hard enough to defeat the Overlord, when he had a clear shot. Angry that Lloyd had apparently failed to defeat the Overlord 100%. Angry that he had been captured whilst literally wielding the power of God, only for the Overlord to use its incredible power to construct a new body. Angry that Lloyd didn’t try hard enough to keep the team together, to reach out to him, or even to speak at Zane’s funeral.

But above all, Kai was angry at himself. Angry that he had made fun of Zane for his passions and clothes. Angry that he did not try hard enough to train Lloyd, and ultimately failed to be with him in the ‘Final’ battle. Angry that he couldn’t have done his job as a ninja properly, getting captured and tied to a rocket ship which only made them have to try rescuing him instead of stopping Project Arcturus. Angry that he couldn’t do anything when Zane took on the Overlord by himself again.

And Kai was angry at Ninjago. At the world. At the universe. At the First Spinjitsu Master, who had no right to decide that his family had to face the world like that. Angry, and wondering why he was being put through this kind of torture: not being able to live, and yet not willing to die. Kai was a man of action and he had to stay in motion- so his knuckles split. So he goes ‘home’, to the hotel room in Yang’s Tavern, covered in bruises and sometimes even blood- just not his. So he has to take part in crimes, never rising above the level of a security guard, all whilst feeling terrible. He did not know how to get out of this state and feared that if he did, he would collapse into a lump of uselessness.

He fought all day and night, and in the moments where he wasn’t fighting, he was drinking. His sleeping schedule has shifted to between 6 AM and 2 PM. All whilst he kept grieving over a death that was not deserved.

After a year, Lloyd somehow inexplicably showed up on his doorstep, telling Kai to not drink too much ‘juice’ (he rolled his eyes at that and smiled fondly at Lloyd’s innocence) and asked him to show up at Chen’s noodle house where he was holding a meeting with his other teammates.

Unexpectedly, this led to a discovery that instantly brightened Kai’s mood before dampening it slightly. Zane was alive! But they had to fight through… an elemental tournament to get him? At this point in time, Kai was alright with doing anything, anything to get Zane back.

Just 2 weeks later, Kai would hesitantly retract his statement. Sure, they had gotten Zane back, but in exchange, Lloyd had to lose Garmadon to the Cursed Realm. Kai wonders if they’ll ever be able to make it through a fight with everyone intact, but today wasn’t about him. He felt a familiar spark of rage burning brightly through his chest as he watched Lloyd trying and failing to smile. From the corner of his eye, he saw Zane approaching him.

“Kai, can we talk for a moment?” Oh, dear. What is this about now? Was it about how Kai had almost killed their baby brother over a stupid staff?  Or the fact that Kai had very stupidly fallen for the Criminal Mastermind’s daughter? Did Zane find out about his criminal activity?

Well, it wasn’t everything that Kai had thought would happen, although the topic had come stupidly close to the last point. Zane confronted him, making him open up about his ‘feelings’ or whatever, before telling Kai that the alcohol content in his body was too high and that his livers were on the edge of failing. Well. Good to know that Zane is still regular old Zane who’d scan you without permission.

“Kai, all I’m saying is that you are free to tell me anything. To just let it all out -“

“I can’t let it all out!” Kai shouted in annoyance. What did Zane know about grieving- Oh wait. Doctor Julien. Well, what did Zane know about Kai’s specific method of dealing with his issues? He was fine.

“Why not, Kai?” Zane asked with a bittersweet smile. Kai looked around, desperately searching for an answer that he doesn’t have.

“Well- I can’t tell you that! Just know that it’s okay for me to feel angry!” Kai stated very, very eloquently. Zane just gave him a look that said ‘bullshit’. “It’s also okay for you to be sad, and to cry.”

“You’re-you’re wrong!”

“And you’re a hypocrite, Kai. You can’t make Lloyd do the right choices if you aren’t gonna do them yourself.”

“Well- Lloyd’s just a child! A teenager at best, really. Me? I’m a fully legal adult! I can make my own decisions!” Kai seethed. Zane looked sad for a moment, before straightening up and doubling down.

“Whilst according to Mill’s Harm Principle, you’re free to do anything that could harm yourself without damaging others, might I remind you that you’re still a role model for Lloyd, Nya, and even Jay? Please, Kai. If you can’t do it for yourself, at least do it for them.” Zane pleaded. And damn it. Whilst Kai wouldn’t lift a finger to save himself, just the thought of Lloyd doing what he’s done sent a shiver down his spine. Zane was right, as always. He had to be the big brother, and being the older brother means that he has to display healthy habits more. FSM knows that Lloyd would need it. So he sucked up his pride, arrogance, and ego, then threw it all away, metaphorically off the Bounty

He knew that they would always come creeping back to him later, but for now, Lloyd needed a functional older brother, and Kai was going to be exactly what he needs.

“Thank you, Zane,” Kai stated. Grinning, Zane waved Kai on to go save Lloyd, who now looked like he was drowning from some invisible force.

“Lloyd? Lloyd buddy, you there?”

- Cole - Of course, Kai couldn’t stop his blood pressure from reaching a boiling point. How could he? This month had been the worst month for his health since- well, since forever! Who would’ve thought that Wu’s dead first student would escape the Cursed Realm just to possess Lloyd in order to exact an act of stupid, grand revenge because he didn’t get the title of the Green Ninja?

Kai had to fight his baby brother, lose the staff of the First Spinjitsu Master, fail to defeat ghosts, bargain with a stupidcrook for some weapons that were actually effective to ghosts all whilst looking for the scroll of Airjitzu, who guess what? Turns out Ronin had it all along. And he had just handed it to Morro, which caused all of them to go to this cursedtemple, which was designed to be a terribly haunted house, because it just amplified Kai’s fear of water a 100 times more, and all that culminated in a stupid idea where they tied themselves together to not lose track of the other, which caused Cole to lose valuable time when the scroll of Airjitzu was dropped right as they were at the door to the temple.

Spinning around to check on his teammates, he saw a pale green sheen. Just as he was about to raise his weapon, he heard Cole’s voice calling out to them that they had the scroll. And oh. Oh no. No, Kai couldn’t deal with this anymore. He watched Cole realise with horror that now, he was technically dead, and wail.

Kai’s blood vessels were very, very close to popping. Being an alcoholic had not helped with his anger issues, and having faced too many setbacks, all whilst not having any powers or any victories, Kai was prepared to curse the entire 16 realms.

As Nya parked the bounty right next to the floating temple of Airjitzu, Kai could see her face widen in shock and horror at Cole. Fists clenched the tightest they had been in a while (and that was saying something, given that he had failed to protect Lloyd again) Kai could only take over the lead as he herded his teammates onboard the ship.

Cole’s a ghost now. So what? He can deal with that later. For now, they had to beat Morro to the Cloud Kingdom and the Realm crystal if he was going to have any chance of having Lloyd back.

Well, that was a lie, Kai thought to himself after the heat of the moment. Their ship was now charted towards the Wailing Alps, trying to make it as the Blind Man’s Eye passed over the top so that they may use Airjitzu to get the Sword of Sanctuary. And that meant they had time. Whilst Zane and Jay were working on some mechs to help them traverse the mountains, Nya was training with Sensei Wu to unlock her true potential faster, and Misako was packing them supplies. That meant that Kai and Cole were left in the bow of the ship. The air just felt denser than usual, even though by all logic, it should have been lighter due to their high altitude.

Kai watched Cole trying to tap a button on the control board, but couldn’t manage to get his hands to temporarily appear solid. He saw the frustration on Cole’s face grow as he gave up and slammed his hand on the board, accidentally touching on several buttons. Immediately the ship started to list onto the left side. So bracing himself Kai rushed to the position and immediately undid the damage Cole had done.

Cole then let out a scream of frustration. “All I wanted to do was to view the stupid GPS! Why. Can’t. I. Do. Anything. Right?” Cole angrily shouted, punctuating each word with a kick aimed towards the control panel, but never managing to connect. He immediately sunk onto the floor and held his face in his hands.

Kai sucked in air through his teeth. He wasn’t everyone’s go-to when comforting them from anger, but it seems that he had to step up this time.

“Hey, Cole?” Kai started gently. “Yeah?” Came a muffled response.

“I know that I’m not the best person to do this, but I just want you to know that I hate the universe as much as you do, and it’s alright if you wanna just shout and spar with me-“

“Hah! As if I can do anything good with this. Stupid. Body!” Cole replied, voice tense with frustration. Kai frowned.

“I’m serious Cole. And you will get better at using this body. Remember how Morro’s ghost friends had beaten us? Imagine them, not realising that we actually have a pretty powerful member right in their midst. Think of the recon missions you can do as a ghost! Imagine how satisfying it would be to just punch Morro in the nose without feeling bad for hurting Lloyd!” Kai picked a direction and resigned himself to it, smile getting more manic as he realised that hey! Cole’s new body is actually kinda cool. Cole snorted.

“Imagine all the pranks I’ll be able to pull on Jay. And imagine me possessing Mr. Cuddlywump-“ Both of them dissolved into laughter after this thought, each imagining Jay’s terrified expression as Cole’s voice comes out of the teddy bear that he thinks nobody knows he hugs every night.

“Hey- you know that being a ghost would be incredible for your stealth right?” Kai ribbed Cole gently, finding delight that it actually connected. Cole scoffed. “Oh, don’t remind me Mr-I-blew-up-2-trucks-filled-with-jet-fuel-and-thought-that-I-wouldn’t-be-noticed.”

“Hey! It was just one time.” Kai defended himself. “Seriously though, imagine all the cool shit you can do now.”

“Too bad that I won’t be able to eat anymore,” Cole said mournfully. Kai raised his eyebrow. “Nah, this just means that you can eat as much as you want and wouldn’t be scolded by Sensei Wu. Also, don’t we have Hungry Ghost Month right before Day of the Departed?”

“Holy shit, Kai. You’re right! You know, maybe being a ghost isn’t so bad after all,” Cole said with a hearty grin. With a grin of his own, Kai thought to himself that really, being a ghost is no big deal. We have a nindroid as a brother after all! Besides, at least Cole is still with us in, heh, spirit.

Too late did Kai consider the cons of being a ghost. As Cole watched helplessly from the banks of the river that Lloyd was drowning in, Kai had to bite his own tongue to stop himself from screaming as he plunged into the water to save Lloyd from drowning. Too late, after the defeat of the Preeminent, did he see Lloyd flinching from Cole’s touch, which led to a very heartbroken Cole and an extremely apologetic Lloyd. He saw Lloyd trying his best to just endure and adapt to the change, and his heart was filled with anger again.

It wasn’t as bad as his breaking point at Yang’s temple, but he now has a grudge against Morro that runs through the core of his being, like how ‘Nya is my Sister’ and ‘Lloyd is my baby brother’ are the code of his being. Still, victory tasted bittersweet as he gets to finally pat the golden head of hair his brother has.

Kai would be okay to go through anything, as long as he had his family with him.

- - Jay - Family. That’s what Kai’s life has circled back into, hasn’t it? He had fought skeleton armies for his sisters, fought snakes with his brothers, trained the youngest to fight the literal embodiment of evil, went through an entire tournament for one of his brothers, fought with Wu’s student to save Lloyd, and now destiny decides for him to face another whiplash.

His parents. His good-for-nothing parents. They had left Kai when he was 6 and Nya when she was just 3. It had been absolute hell, making sure that they had enough to eat, enough to drink, and enough to wear during the winter. Kai had to start working at the blacksmith shop when he was just 8, trying to find some independence from the goodwill of his neighbours. And whilst he was working odd jobs, being a stable boy, an errand boy, doing some house chores for the minimum wage- he also had to make sure that his baby sister could attend school properly.

He had properly started to work at the forge when he was 12, having sold most of his father’s previous work. Soon, he found ease in making spear tips, armour, and samurai-style helmets. He had been working on doing a good sword when his sister was kidnapped, and his entire life changed as he tried his hardest to bring her back. Since then, he hadn’t gone back to his old home in Ignacia.

But he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Looking at the smithing symbol on the inside of the Vermillion Warrior’s helmet, Kai had to take a quick journey back to his old home, back into his past. Picking up a decade-old helmet, Kai’s worst fears were confirmed.

“I knew it,” Kai said humourlessly as the puzzle pieces began to construct a monstrosity that he never wanted to know. In a fit of anger, he punched his father’s symbol, to which a secret hatch just suddenly opened. Curious, Kai took a look at the basement of the shop, only to see a double-edged blade as well as some old armour. What was he making? Kai wondered, before shaking his head. It doesn’t matter now.

With single-minded determination, Kai took the blade, old, and a new helmet, then immediately headed to someone who he knows would understand.

10 minutes later, Kai was sitting at a booth in Chen’s Noodle House, venting out all his frustrations to Skylor, who, bless her, had offered him free noodles as he spilled out his feelings. Of course, Kai didn’t feel much better after doing so, but at least he felt like he wasn’t suffocating anymore. Just as Kai was summarising his rant, incomes Nya, proclaiming something about how Skylor was the mysterious and new Samurai X. Kai’s stomach suddenly started to churn and he gulped. He had to break the news that their parents were still alive to Nya. And whilst that was mean, what Kai learned throughout his years as being a Ninja that being honest with your teammates was the difference between life and death. Funny, he remembered a weird dream that was focused on this exact point. But Kai didn’t have time to reminisce now. All he could do was think of ways of breaking the news to Nya.

Too soon, Kai Smith, no not Smith, Kai had to think of a better surname after this was all over. Anyways, their team has decided upon infiltrating Krux and Acronix’s secret base, which also meant that they will find his traitorous father. Instantly, he felt a searing hot pain radiate from within his ribcage. teeth clenched, fists tightened, he and Nya arrived at the swamp.

He had a single-minded focus on finding his parents and nothing could stop him.

“Kai, I don’t see anything. Give me the map,” Nya whispered. “Hmmm, what even makes you think that Acronix and Krux will be around here?”

“I honestly don’t even care if they are,” Kai said noncommittally and looked around his surroundings. In the distance, he saw a building, right where the blacksmith shop was situated on the map. Heart pounding, he raced up the planks leading up the shop.

Kai was in too deep to stop now, to have second thoughts. Seeing his father’s blacksmith symbol on the door, builds up his resolve to kick the door open.

“I knew it!” anger, like how lava flows down a volcano, seeped into his bones as his father stared at him like he was some kind of stranger. In all fairness, he was. Because what kind of ‘father’ was Ray Smith for abandoning Nya, for abandoning him, all those years ago?

“Who are you? What do you want?” Those words cut deeply into Kai’s heart, etching all kinds of feelings that Kai couldn’t process. Because all he could see. Was red.

“I WANT JUSTICE!” With a war cry, Kai drew out the double-edged blade that his father had watched. But this time, he wasn’t fighting to disarm, to defeat, or to stun. He was fighting to kill.

Running towards the blacksmith, Kai jumped to plunge the blade into his father’s chest, only for him to dodge, Raising another strike, he missed and hit the edge of the forge. Spinning around, his next shot was parried by his father.

Blocked by his father again, Kai gave his old man a chance to explain himself. But what was said was, “You’re red like a Vermillion Warrior. But you’re no snake.”

“No, I’m not, BUT YOU ARE! TRAITOR!!” Kai broke out of his father’s block, spinning the weapon before clashing it with his father’s hammer again. His next few strikes were dodged and a kick sent Kai sprawling over the anvil. Getting up again, Kai swung the weapon wildly, getting dodged before being thrown back by a well-timed shot from his father.

“You messed with the wrong blacksmith, my friend,” Ray said, standing over Kai’s body. hearing those words sent a hot shot of seething fire down to his free palm. Building up a fire in his hand, Kai stood up and spun the double-edged blade.

“Fire power…” Ray thought out loud. Shocked, he could only get out of the way as Kai threw a fireball at him.

“No… you’re certainly not a guard. You’re… my son!” Hearing those words made Kai pause. He didn’t know why, he just couldn’t move. Too many emotions were battling in him, and he could only focus on his father’s next few words.

“Kai! You’ve inherited my elemental power!” his father had actually said that. In joy. Suddenly, his fire was rekindled.

“That’s the only thing I’ll ever inherit from you!” Kai started to move, to continue the fight when suddenly his baby sister screamed for him to stop from the front door.

“He’s a traitor!” Kai explained through gritted teeth.

“He’s still our father,” Nya begged Kai to reconsider.

“Whatever it is you think, I can explain-“

“Yeah… BET YOU CAN!” Kai threw back his left hand, ready to unleash another fireball at his father when a jet of water put his element out.

“Kai, let him speak!” Nya pleaded. “There’s no harm in hearing him out!”

Kai then moved to throw the double-edged blade at his father, who had dodged out of the way. sensing that Nya would just put out his fire again, Kai pounced on his father and dragged him hip by the collar of his clothes, and began to wrestle with him.

“It ends here! NOW!” Overpowering his father, he managed the wrench his left hand free, and pulled it back into a punch.

“Kai, you don’t know what you’re doing!”  “I DO NYA! I ABSOLUTELY-“  “I’m not your sister, son.”

Kai suddenly stopped. His mother… was alive?!

“Huh? M-mom? I-I don’t believe it!” Kai released whatever he was holding as he turned around, trembling.

“That makes the 2 of us,” Maya stated sweetly, and suddenly all the memories that Kai had been oppressing came back- he could see the woman who cared for him, hear the lullabies she used to sing Nya to sleep, smell the floral shampoo and scent of mountain springs that hung around her. He remembers the taste of the food that she had made, and the warm, slender hands that held his own. As Kai watched his mother fuss over his baby sister, his resolve to fight, to seek revenger, crumbled away into pieces.

Removing his hood, he threw his arms around his mother, still smelling the scent of mountain springs, feeling the her skin, folded and cut in several areas, but still warm and firm.

But suddenly, he remembered the snake helmets and of Sensei Wu, and immediately pushed her back.

“Why, she’s as guilty as he is! They’ve been helping Acronix and Krux for years!” Kai seethed. “They’re the enemy!”

“Is that what you think?” Maya reproached. “We are not your enemy.”

“Then how do you explain this?” Kai took up the vermillion warrior’s helmet and showed his father’s symbol to his biological family. “Dad’s blacksmith stamp on every piece of Vermillion armour!”

“They forced us to work for them! Part of their revenge…” Maya rebutted.

“For what?”

“For creating the time blades,” Ray shook his head and creased his forehead. “It goes back a long tie, then Acronis and Krux were still Elemental Masters.”

Ray recounted how Wu had asked them to forge blades made of a chronosteel, a sort of metal that suctions your elemental powers away permanently if you used them to their true potential on the metal.

“We had worked for days and nights. At the end of it all, we were so exhausted, that we could not participate in the fight. But Wu had told us the results of the fights, about how he and Garmadon had sent the Time Twins and the Time Blades into a Time Vortex, essentially having them lost to time.”

“Yet, immediately after the portal has closed, Krux had gotten away. And he had gotten a glimpse of the Blimp too. He now knew that his brother was being sent to the future without him.”

“Now, he had decades to scheme and plan. He adopted the persona of the kindly Dr. Sanders Saunders. He had begun making the first batches of Vermillion out of the Great Devourer’s eggs. And his army would need weapons. Armour. Vehicles.

“So he went looking for us, and we had built a cordial relation with the old man.”

“One day, he suddenly revealed his true colours and held you two at sword point, stating that if we did not cooperate, he would not hesitate to kill you,” Maya said, eyes glistening with tears. “What could we have done?”

Kai didn’t know how to react. He stood there shell-shocked. His parents.. they weren’t traitors after all? The fire of anger fizzled out. “Okay, but what about the stamp?”

“I stamped every piece of my work, hoping that one day, someone would figure it out,” Kai’s father admitted. “So that together, we can stop Krux and Acronix’s plan.”

“What is their plan?” Nya asked. Ray shook his head and creased his eyebrows in fear. “To control all of time.”

That revelation shocked Kai into speaking again. He looked at his father, bruised, dirtied, and tired from their fight before. The feeling of guilt bubbled in his stomach, and Kai had to immediately right the wrongs.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Kai began, wincing internally at his bad apology. But Nya- blessed Nya, had saved him by asking about Krux and Acronix’s plan to control all of time.

“They made me design the Iron Doom, a machine capable of transporting the Vermillion warriors through time,” Ray explained, rolling out a blueprint of the iron doom.

“So you built a Time Machine?” Kai asked incredulously. Ray huffed. “No, just the shell. I’m afraid the Time Machines are bit out of my skill set.”

“But Cyrus Borg was forced to design a power source capable of powering the machine by using temporal energy from the Time Blades,” Maya said whilst rolling out another piece of blueprint next to Ray’s this time of some sort of machine.

“Oh no! That must mean that the pause we felt earlier… that must mean that there are 3 blades in the present!” Nya exclaimed. Kai thought out loud that if Krux and Acronix got the blade, there will be only one left. “And if they get that, their time traveling mega armour will be fully operational!”

Kai stared dumbfoundedly at the smile shared between his parents. “Sorry, full operational is… good news?” Man, if his parents could just pick a side already!

“They’ll never get it,” Ray said with a smile. “Master Wu found it shortly after Acronix disappeared. Turns out it had the power to reverse time. Wu knew it was too dangerous to keep, so we hid it, buried deep in a location where only a combined elemental power of Fire and Water can reach.”

“And since you inherited our powers-“ Kai’s mother gasped sharply. “You must leave. Now!”

Ray looked downright alarmed. “You’re right. If Krux and Acronix knew you were here, they could-“

At this moment, the door burst open and time stood still.

“Could force you to retrieve the Time Blade for us? Excellent suggestion,” Krux said with a menacing smile.

“No way! We’ll never retrieve the Reversal Blade for you!”  “You tell him, brother!”

“You will! Or your parents will face the same fate that they tried to protect you from.” Krux countered, his smile stretching impossibly wider.

“We’re done serving you, Krux. Bring your worst!” Ray shouted, charging towards the Time Twins. Kai watched in horror as Krux used the Pause blade to stop his father’s momentum immediately, before giving him a hard kick in the gut.

“DAD!” Kai shouted, watching his father still frozen in place, bouncing on the hard floor.

“Look what I found,” drawled the voice of Commander Machia, wheeling in-

“Master!” “Wu!’

“You know, it occurs to me that the Reversal Blade is the only way to undo Wu’s Time Punch.” Acronix grinned.

“I…I’m afraid that’s true,” Kai’s father said, having gotten out of the pause effect.

“If you want to save your master, you’ll have to retrieve the 4th blade.” Krux walked even closer to Kai, before snatching away the double-edged blade. “And I’ll take that.”

Lightning flashed over the skies, creeping in tendrils and thunder boomed, rocking the ship. Kai and his family were stuck on a ship, not able to help his other family back at the swamp to fight off a whole swamp’s worth of snakes! And to top it all off, he had to retrieve the 4th Time Blade for the Twins, directly enabling Krux and Acronix’s plan!

Kai felt anger in the many hot drops of rain the fell onto his skin. But he couldn’t afford to lose himself here, he and Nya would have to work together, get past all the challenges and get the time blade, save Wu and get out of here!

Yet, once he and Nya had returned to the ship, the blade was immediately knocked out of his hands and his father took another Time Punch. Just as he was about the throw hands with the Time Twins, he was hit with a jet of brilliant red light, trapping him a Pause as he could only see the ship moving away from underneath him. They barely had the time to pull up their fusion dragon before heading back to the swamp.

Upon their arrival, they saw the Time Twins enter a temporal vortex. They had to follow them. There was no other choice.

A long, tiring battle in the past 40 years ago had taken its toll on Kai and Nya. They had managed to reverse the Time Punch on Master Wu (though Kai wonders if maybe Nya used a bit too much) and they had managed to drive Acronix and Krux back into the Temporal Vortex, this time actually sneaking aboard the ship and trying to remove the Time Blades from the engine of the Iron Doom.

Unfortunately for Kai, he just couldn’t lift the Reversal Blade, but Sensei Wu had. Throwing the Time Blade to him, Kai almost didn’t register Wu telling them to use the blade of Ray before throwing both of them out of the time stream and back into the present.

After had used the time blade on his father, Kai and Nya were tasked with Master Lloyd’s command to return the Reversal Blade to its place in the Boiling Sea. Of course, Kai had complied, adrenaline still fuelling his body. And yet when all was said and done, Kai collapsed upon reaching the Temple of Airjitzu.

The days after Kai and Nya returned to the present without Sensei Wu were some of the worst. Kai felt like he was over bursting with emotions. Guilt, grief, and anger clouded his mind over the loss of Wu. Joy, confusion, and deep-seated anger clouded his heart over his parents. Kai didn’t know how to deal with everything. He couldn’t really talk with his previous confidence, he couldn’t move without double guessing himself, and his decision-making skills were in pieces, grounded into a fine dust.

Does he reconnect with his family or not? What could he do the aid the search of Sensei Wu? Are Nya and Lloyd doing alright? Cole seems to be the hardest hit out of all of them, maybe he should go check on him?

Lying on his bed in the Temple of Airjitzu, Kai couldn’t muster his strength to well, do anything! He just needed some time to just… process, everything that had happened in the past month. His parents, of course, had given him some space, and just said that when he’s ready to contact them. Kai thinks that they also didn’t know how to deal with his situation and just took a cop-out. Or maybe they just wanted to breathe fresh, non-swamp-sewer air and tour Ninjago after being in captivity in 10 years. Honestly, who knows?

Lloyd had walked in and provided a brief source of relief for Kai, but too soon had he walked away, going back to his training. Kai saw his baby brother’s eyes sporadically turn green, infused with his element, in just 3 days. Kai would have joined him too, doing whatever hellish program he had set up for himself, if he wasn’t just ambushed by his feelings whenever he tries to get up, wondering if that was even the right choice. He certainly felt that it was his fault that he lost Sensei Wu, and now his kid brother had trained so hard that his eyes became green just to find Sensei again.

Nya was dealing with her own reconciliation with his parents and sometimes offered Kai a shoulder to cry on. Mostly, she was by herself, as Jay had told Kai to ease his worry. Still, his worry for Nya is topped only by his worry about the future.

Cole had also been hit hard by the loss of Sensei Wu and was shutting himself in. Zane was still trying to spend time looking for Pixal throughout the Bounty and any of our other bases of operations, trying to tracer her down.

That left Jay, who really, was as much of a help as a hindrance to Kai. Hanging out with Jay meant that Kai soon developed a terrible sense of humour, an arsenal of horrible puns, and way too many prank ideas. Jay had made sure that everyone was fed, watered, and in some cases- slept. Of course, being the responsible one for once meant that Jay had to bully his most stubborn teammates into taking a break, or having some food.

“MOOOORRRRNNIIIIIINNG!” Kai was once again woken up by Jay’s terrible screeching. Turning to face the wall, Kai pushed a pillow on top of him just so he could remain in the land of sleeping for longer. No such luck.

“KAAAIIIIII! GET UP!” Jay, screamed as the door to his room flung open. Aw man here we go again, Kai grumbled to himself.

“So what would you like to have this morning? Eggs and bacey? Toast with jam? How about-“

“How about you shut up and leave me alone!” Kai shouted, irritated by the perky tone that Jay has adopted. Watching Jay’s smile become less bright and more forced, Kai couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Sitting up and rubbing the base of his neck, Kai apologised for his outburst. “Sorry, Jay- it’s just that I need some time, alone.”

Jay nodded solemnly, before sitting down at the edge of his bed. Kai watched as Jay took a deep breath before saying his piece.

“I know Kai, but… Nya… she needs you. You have got to fix your relationship with your parents, or at least start on the first step. I’m going to be honest: I’m not good with people like you are. I don’t know how to get Lloyd to rest, because he’s going to break his body this way. Don’t get me started on Cole, who won’t open up to me at all. And I can’t out logic Zane. He keeps saying that since he’s a robot, he doesn’t need rest as we humans do.”

Kai stayed silent for a while, mulling over Jay’s words. Truth is, if he could, he would have done so already. What did Jay know about these kinds of relationships, anyways? In fact, when compared to everyone else on the team, Jay has the best relationship with his parents. So what was the point of this? Kai felt his hands curl up into a fist, bunching his bedsheets. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he breathed out to calm himself down before he could impulsively do something he’d regret.

“No can do, Jaybird. I don’t even know where to start,” Kai said regretfully. Kai honestly expected for Jay to slink out of his room, to go pester Nya to try or to get Lloyd to see sense, or to even get his best buddy to open up about his troubles. Kai did not think that Jay seemed to double down, taking several huge gulps of air, and one the edge of hyperventilation. He saw Jay’s hands tighten into fists before he spoke in a trembling voice.

“Kai… did is something that I really, really don’t want to share. It’s something that I keep wanting to erase out of my memories. But I can’t, because no matter how much I try to see it as just a prank- it’s the truth. I’m… adopted,” Jay finished in a hushed whisper. Immediately, Kai sat up straighter. He hadn’t heard this before. “Please, please, keep this a secret, Kai.”

“…so, when did you find out?” Kai whispered back.

“It was at the height of our popularity craze right after stix. A letter had come in, about how my father had died. Immediately, I went off to my Ma and Pa’s scrapyard, but it turns out that I had been adopted, and that my biological father was… Cliff Gordon,” Jay’s teeth had begun shuddering as tears came leaking out of his eyes.

“Oh,” That’s all Kai could really say. I mean, how were you going to reply to that?

“Of course, I felt all sorts of different emotions at first. Relief that my Pa didn’t die, confusion at why I was abandoned on my parent’s doorstep, realisation why neither of my parents had elemental powers, and eventually gratitude because my biological father had written me into his will.”

“But Kai, you don’t just easily forget the feeling when you thought that your parents died. I’m sure that if Cole was himself right now, he would have knocked some sense into you.” Jay stated with a small smile. “Our lives as Ninja are really, really dangerous. Yesterday, we lost Sensei Wu. Tomorrow… well, let’s just say that as a Ninja, you have to cherish time with your loved ones. Don’t put off tomorrow what can be done today.”

And Kai seriously was lost for words. Jay was… 100% right. There were no faults, no counterarguments. Danger was a Ninja’s job description, and too soon he could leave this realm without patching things up with his parents- his parents had almost done so too when his father had been struck by the Forward blade. If he couldn’t do it for himself, and his parents- well, he could do it for Nya’s sake.

Suddenly energised, Kai stood up.

“Thank you, Jay.”

And off he went to call his parents, checking in on them, holding a conversation that had a semblance of normality. They had talked about safe topics, about interesting areas Ray and Maya had visited, about Kai and Nya’s adventures, and about Kai’s team, Sensei Wu- anything, really.

Tears of joy fell down his cheeks before he decided to barge into Nya’s room, throwing open her curtains and rousing her from her slumber.

Because now, they had a chance. They could reconcile.

And then they can find Sensei Wu.

- Kai - It was their first machine in 6 months, and Kai had managed to lose his powers. Again. This time, however, the warmth and fiery spirit that Kai could always cling to were gone as well. He had always felt utterly powerless without his fire. But without his anger? Kai was more than useless. He couldn’t even defend the civilians from the fire snakes, because he was out of shape as well and had to rely on Jay to save him. Jay!

Severely discouraged by this fact, he told his team to just ‘go ahead without him'. He would not be of any help to them anyways. He would only add more onto their already full plate as they would have to focus on defending him too.

Slumping next to an overturned car, Kai hid his face in his hands. What if he never gets his powers back? Would they hate him? Forget him? Maybe he could become The Red Shogun again, maybe pilot a mech as Pixal does.

Kai’s jumbled thoughts were interrupted by a kid (seriously, how many disasters have Ninjago faced to let people carry on their normal lives whilst it’s raining fireballs?) handing him a journal, stating that Kai was his favourite Ninja and could he please, please sign his notebook?

“Sorry kid,” Kai huffed out. “I’m not really a ninja without my powers.”

“Well then, why don’t you go help your teammates?” The kid, Max asked.

“Because, I’m useless, that’s why!”

“Well- if you don’t help the ninja, I will!” And with that, Max stormed away and started to head for the scene of danger. Kai called out to him futile to come back and resigned himself to his fate. Picking up the notebook, Kai saw a cartoonish sticker of him in his ninja mask at the front, before coming to an epiphany.

His teammates didn’t like him for just his fire. Nor did the Ninjago citizens. He carried everyone’s hopes and dreams on his back and he can’t just turn around now and leave him to face the enemy alone!

What was he thinking?

Immediately, Kai rushed down the street to the Ninjago Museum of ancient artifacts.

Kai didn’t always have to run red hot. He didn’t need to perpetually be angry. Sometimes, it’s okay to mellow out. But now is not the time. Now, he has to save his family from one crazy snake lady who was fuelled only by revenge.

Kai couldn’t just be fuelled by his anger. Facing off with Aspheera taught him that. Being angry all the time was exhausting when he inevitably turned off the switch. Anger clouded his thoughts, made errs in his judgment, caused him to be impatient- all whilst ignoring the important parts of his life- his family. And from now on, Kai would only tap into anger when it was absolutely necessary. What matters the most to him isn’t feeling invulnerable, like nothing could hurt him, especially if he was protecting his teammates. Rather, it was the job that Kai had to do. Emotions in battle are a tricky thing, but all the times he observed Lloyd setting aside his feelings for the greater good had made Kai realise that emotions can be easily goaded. Manipulate, by enemies such as Chen and Harumi.

In a life or death situation, Kai couldn’t just rely on his feelings. He had to embrace his moral code, the values that he holds dear, and act upon them, even though it may seem impossible at times. And he shouldn’t get frustrated with his team.

Kai may be angry, but the only time he’ll properly deal with his emotions will be when the battle is all over, and then he will learn how to compartmentalise, how to sort through his emotions. Maybe he’ll take up blacksmithing part-time again.

All Kai knew that was in this instance, he refused to let his life be ruled over uncontrollable feelings, mostly of rage. He was the master of his own emotions.

And nothing will stop him from helping out his team.

#ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago kai #kai smith #kai centric #ninjago angst week #ninjago angst week 2021 #ninjago nya #nya smith #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmaodn #ninjago zane #zane julien #ninjago cole #cole brookstone #ninjago jay #jay walker #ninjago ray #ninjago maya #ninjago pilot #ninjago season 2 #ninjago season 3 #ninjago season 4 #ninjago season 5 #ninjago season 7 #ninjago season 11 #i am so done right now

[jwritesandrambles]

“Supposed to Be”

Hi there! Yeah I still barely use tumblr but hey lookit I did the wrote thing down!!!!

I would like to give a bit thank you to @schweeeppess and @dragonsworn05 for editing my messy dyslexic rambles. @noroomforcream and @just-a-little-in-over-my-head  did some really cool art for this! 

(if I missed tagging someone, it’s not personal I appreciate you so much, I’m just posting in a rush mwauh)

Jason was back in Gotham. For the second time since he died, actually.

The last time hadn’t gone well. Technically, it had gone according to plan--for the most part--but Jason was still shambling together the broken pieces of his mind. Back then in December, all that was left of Jason were the shards of hurt and anger. He had been living for nothing but the idea of someone else’s death. Coming back to the real world, away from the sheltered and hidden places of the League of Shadows and the All-Caste, seemed to bring a bit of him back. Seeing Bruce, talking to him…everything that went down, and the reminder that he cared about him--loved him, even--it woke something up in Jason. Something that he thought had died along with him and never came back. 

He had spent a year by himself, taking any mercenary jobs he could get, trying to find something other than the all consuming anger that had fuelled him for the past few years, but his travels didn’t matter now, as he stood in a back alley of Gotham, the protective red helmet tucked under his arm. He wished his replacement, Tim Drake, hadn’t chosen this particular alley to meet up in. 

The balcony and rickety old fire escape were unforgettable to Jason. It was where he had met the Bat, after trying to jack the tires off one of those many damn expensive cars that Bruce had. Not only where it began, but where he once thought it would end. It was only a year ago he had stood, gun trained on Bruce, the man he had, for a time, called father. His voice shook and tears rolled down his cheeks, “it would be so easy to kill you.”

Jason was ripped from his reminiscing as a soft thud signaled that Red Robin had landed behind him. Jason flinched more than he’d like to admit, but fought the urge to draw his weapon. Quick reflexes was a nice way of saying jumpy. 

“Hood,” The teen greeted. 

“Replacement,” Jason said with a nod, echoing Tim’s tone back at him, relaxing. 

“Weren’t you a replacement too?” Tim pointed out, seeming to take no offence. 

Jason shrugged, “True. I’m not denying it. Just as long as you know that’s probably what B expects. Another Grayson,” he mumbled. 

Sure, he was less angry than before, but that didn’t mean Jason wasn’t a bitter son of a bitch. 

Tim bit the inside of his lip, an awkward and slightly uncomfortable look on the visible part of his face. It flickered away and was replaced with a more professional, neutral expression as he cleared his throat. 

“Yes... well... We’re here for a job so let’s focus. You got all the information B sent you?” He was honestly trying his best, but he was hesitant about this mission. Could anyone blame him? Jason Todd had proven himself to be... volatile. The memories of Jason’s violence were all too fresh in Tim’s mind. 

“Yeah, I got it. I read the file over,” he mumbled. He puffed out a weak breath, “Scarecrow set up a chemical mixing shop by the docks, at least one shipment has come in, but we can expect more, right? Anything I missed?” Jason asked, rummaging through his coat pockets. 

He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He had been trying to quit, but he didn’t want to be getting distracted with cravings while trying to focus on the mission. 

Tim watched him quietly as he lit off, smelling the tobacco from up on his perch. 

“Um... yes, that’s all,”  the teen dragged his teeth along the edge of his lip. The skin felt slightly raw and sore from his empty minded nibbling. 

Jason started walking off down the alley, leaving a slight trail of lingering smoke in damp air. Tim followed. 

“So,” Jason pulled the cigarette from his lips, careful not to let his helmet slip from under his arm. He held it between his first and second fingers, “Uh.. Why’d you have us meet here instead of anywhere closer to the docks?” He asked, trying to break the awkwardly growing silence.

“Scarecrow has patrols circulating around the docks. We’re less likely to be spotted if we’re not waiting around there to meet up,” Tim explains with a little shrug.

Jason hummed a brief note of understanding, “Oh yeah, that makes sense. I’m, uh, I haven’t worked with anyone in... years,” Jason paused, taking another drag from the smouldering cigarette, “Y’know, really nothing team oriented since working with B. Even then I was a shitty teammate,” he laughed hollowly.

Tim nodded, thinking about what Jason’d just said. Had it really been that long? Maybe… maybe the fact that Jason was even admitting to being a bad teammate didn’t bode well. It could mean trouble for them later. If it was so obvious that even Jason could admit it, perhaps Tim shouldn’t have done this team-up. 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Tim ran to catch up to Jason quickly, “Wait... how old are you?” He asked upon reaching him. 

“I’m t- uh... hold on, well... how long was I gone?” He asked Tim in return. 

“You were thought to be dead for five years,” Tim told him, in a tone like he was reciting a Wikipedia page written about the formally deceased, wayward Wayne boy. Now that Jason thought of it, he was certain Bruce had a file written up on him now. Bruce had written up for every major criminal in Gotham city. 

Jason let out a low whistle and soft huff, “I must be… twenty one now? Weird.”

“So... you didn't know how old you were till now?” Tim raised a brow, causing the mask to shift.

“Yeaahh,” Jason drew the word out sarcastically, pretending to took him deep thought to reconcile. “Somethin’ about the severe head trauma, dying, comin’ back, and being isolated from the normal world for years, all while being a wreck the whole time seems to have made my memory a lil’ fuzzy,” Jason said with a wry, sarcastic smile.

Tim seethed silently, letting out a series of apologetic mumbles, eyes dropping to ground ahead of him- it was a tactless and rude thing to ask, and Tim should’ve known that! 

Jason laughed weakly, hand quickly coming up towards him and... ruffled Tim’s hair? The boy hadn’t even had a chance to recoil. He was just confused; that was the last thing he’d expect from Jason.

The man stubbed out his cigarette and lumbered on ahead of Tim, dropping it in the trash, “Don’t worry about it, kid. I was just being a bitch, you’re fine.”

Tim opened and closed his mouth, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. A man who tried to kill him only a year ago had just ruffled his hair?! He decided not to comment on it, because-- after all--what the hell could he even say?

Tim cleared his throat again, “We should get into position, we’re almost there. Maybe get your, uh, helmet-thingy on?” He suggested. 

Jason glanced at the helmet- he’d almost forgotten he had it tucked under his arm. 

“Yeah, of course,” Jason said, lifting his helmet and plunking it on his head, “good reminder, Timbers.” His voice became modulated the second the helmet covered his head. His low, gravely, smokers growl of a voice, was nowhere near and deep and gravely as Bruce’s--but sounded like it took a step closer with every box of cigarettes--became a pitch lower still. An odd robotic twang edged his words, giving him a metallic, cyber sound.

Tim adjusted his own mask, making sure it was firmly in place before nodding to Jason. The two silently started up again, approaching a warehouse that was supposed to be locked until the next morning’s shipment. “Supposed to be” being the operative words. Instead, there was muted huffing and shuffling as two of Scarecrow’s workers uncomfortably hauled a large crate into the building.

Both Jason and Tim seemed to shrink into the shadows at the same instant; each becoming one with the wall. Jason drew his weapon quietly, earning a disapproving frown from Tim. “I’m not gonna kill them. Chill,” Jason whispered in that odd robotic voice. 

Tim seemed satisfied enough to quit pouting at Jason. They crept closer, making little dashes between hiding spots when the coast was clear.

Jason let out a breath of curse as his eyes fell about the giant, glass, canister. It was filled with a bubbling, sickly, arsenic green substance.

“No way, that shit is all fear toxin? Fuck! He’s got enough to blast the entire downtown!” His voice came through in a synthesized hiss.

“Worse.” Tim whispered, spying the large pressurizer on top of the glass container. “That’s just the liquid form. When he releases it, it’ll be gaseous. If it’s released from the container from a high vantage point, a small breeze could cover the entire city in minutes.”

The severity of the situation washed over what little of Tim’s features were visible from beneath the mask. 

This wasn’t just a quick little in and out operation anymore. One wrong move and there could have a small, yet very messy, catastrophic outcome.

Tim had to plan this carefully, because there was no way they could afford to mess this up.

He turned to Jason...or, rather, where Jason had just been seconds before. 

Jason had evidently had a similar train of thought to Tim’s. He’d realized this was a serious situation, though, instead of drawing the conclusion to re-evaluate, re-plan, and carry on with caution, or something sensible-- he seemingly forgot any sense of subtlety he had. Oh, God forbid carefully thinking his actions out, like any sane rational person would do. Or calling for backup, like anyone with a vague semblance of self-preservation.  No no, instead, Jason had decided it was best to act now and not waste a second with plans or any ideas of safety. He jumped into action.

Jason was already leaping over the crate the two vigilantes had been hiding behind seconds ago, as Tim let out a quiet imploring hiss of “Wait--oh no-”“ but it was too late.

Jason already had his gun drawn. 

“Scarecrow!” he yelled, “this ends now!” He fired at the box the two workers were carrying, sending it out of their hands and clattering to the floor. A series of shattering followed the initial crash as the contents shattered. Whatever chemicals that had been inside hissed loudly, a faint smoke rising from between the boards of the wooden box.

“Hood!?” The Scarecrow rounded to face who he knew as the ex-criminal, ‘The Red Hood.’

“In the flesh.” Jason kept his gun trained on Scarecrow, while a third worker who had been off to the side started to shuffle his way towards him.

“Thought you moved your little operation away from Gotham when the Bats got the better of you,” Scarecrow commented, not seeming pleased about the interruption at all. 

Scarecrow’s worker lunged at Jason. Tim kicked himself mentally and left hiding, kicking the worker --physically, not mentally this time-- back away from Jason. The third worker scuttled back, apparently deciding this altercation was above his pay grade.

Jason felt something he hadn’t really felt in a long time; it was a feeling akin to camaraderie. He had someone watching his back for once. If the circumstances hadn’t been so dire, he might have even cracked a smile. Or, rather, he might have felt a slight tug at the corner of his lips, at least.

“Well, yeah, the bats did get the best of me. Now I’m tryna give them my best. And that involves bootin’ your sorry ass out of here.”

“Quick witted, aren’t you?” Scarecrow tensed slightly. His eyes darted away from behind his mask for a moment. He was glancing to the side. Tim followed his gaze over to the-

Shit! The canister! If the bullet missed Scarecrow it would-

Tim knew what scarecrow was thinking, but it was too late.

“NO!” Tim shouted, helplessly watching as Scarecrow dove.

As expected, Jason pulled the trigger reflexively, but the Scarecrow had already ducked. The bullet made a resounding bang as it fired, hitting the large gas canister. 

Tim seized up, every nerve buzzing, every muscle tensed, every fibre of his being filled with an awful sinking sensation. The room was deadly-still. It was like something written by the hand of a fool-hardy novelist, who was paid far too much for over-the-top paperbacks; The bullet had embedded itself in the glass, acting like a stopper. A sickening series of cracks emanated from the canisters, as a thin spidery web formed across the glass. All tendrils originating from where the bullet hit.

Jason let out a low whistle, “Well. That coulda been disastrous.”

Tim couldn’t help but feel relieved, a stressed laugh escaping his lips. 

Scarecrow was scampering away, his workers already having pulled a quick disappearing act themselves, because, this wasn’t what he’d planned. 

“Don’t even think about it, Crane,” Jason said as he turned, taking a heavy step.

Said heavy step was apparently too much. The glass gave a shuttering groan, followed by a small hiss as gas began to leak.

Tim made an involuntary distressed sound. Something akin to an exhausted sigh mixed with a whimper. 

The one word that ever so eloquently graced Jason’s lips was, “Fuck.”

And the canister...

Burst.

The pressure placed on the glass had built up and could no longer hold.

Jason’s final step had been the breaking point, the spider work of cracks along the glass giving way with a great shatter.

Shards of the canister flung themselves across the room. The liquid that had been held within instantly began vaporizing into a thick, sickening gas. To anyone that had the misfortune of inhaling it, it felt as though the gas was trying --with every atom of its existence-- to choke the life out of its victim. It reached into their lungs, clawed at their insides, grabbing at their desperately beating hearts, and squeezed. It forced their brain to fill their body with adrenaline and hallucinogens. Tim knew this. 

He’d studied the Scarecrow’s fear toxin many times. He’d been exposed to it before, too. Tim knew this fear and knew he was helpless to do anything about it.

Tim was helpless to stop this. He had failed. He’d failed Bruce. He’d failed this mission. Because he was weak. He was weak, helpless, hopeless, a failure, a burden, unwanted. He was nothing more than a replaceable replacement. No one would care if he was gone, God, it’s not like anyone would ever notice! He was a forgettable nothing. Tim coughed and wheezed. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe!

Tim staggered. He tripped over his feet trying to get away from the intense fear that gripped his throat. Tim realized something physical was gripping his neck. The thing dragged him back roughly, towards what he could only assume was something horrid. Tim clawed at the thing gripping his throat. As he gasped for shuddering breath, he couldn’t help but begin to sob. He was going to die. He would die and no one would care. No one would even try to find him when he didn’t come home, they wouldn’t even notice because he was worthless, replaceable, weak, failure, helpless!

A new level of fear washed over Tim as he felt something cover his face, it encased his head. Tim could feel it squeeze his skull, he swore the pressure felt tight enough to crush his cranium like a tin can. It was claustrophobic. He felt his own shallow breath bounce back against his lips, because it had nowhere else to go. He was trapped and suffocating.

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t BREATHE! OH--oh, oh no... no? Wait a moment... he COULD breathe.

Tim took a moment to try to get his bearings. He needed to remember how his lungs worked. He awkwardly sucked in a breath of filtered, recycled air. It tasted tinny on his tongue. Tim blinked the tears from his eyes. They rolled down his cheeks, and he became aware of the taste of salt too. There was the faint scent of stale tobacco and smoke. His mind was reeling as he processed each detail. He dragged tongue over his lips nervously, and began to chew at his bottom lip. Tim’s heart was still pounding and his hands were shaking. He raised his hands to feel his head, glancing at his twitching fingers as they passed in front of his face, confusedly. Everything had a red tinge to it. He pressed his hands to his head, feeling a hard smooth surface.

Tim’s brain felt slow and groggy, taking a moment to clue into what was on his head. Was it Jason’s helmet? Yes, yes it was Jason’s helmet, that was certain, but where was Jason? 

The thick gas still hung in a green fog, but the helmet seemed to be filtering the worst of it out. Tim swept his arm though the air, watching the gas clear slightly, before swooping in to fill the gaps. Tim knew he needed to thin this stuff out if he wanted to have any hope in finding Jason before tripping over him. He rushed through the room, feeling his way over to the door. Scarecrow’s men had closed it, containing them --and more importantly the gas--  inside. Small mercy the fear toxin wasn’t being released on the city though. 

Tim dragged his fingers along the wall. His senses were so heightened that it was almost overstimulating. It was likely due to the toxin, Tim guessed. He could still feel the rough brick as he scraped along, even through the tips of his gloves. It was oddly reassuring. A steady constant he could focus on until -thunk-  His hand bumped into a smooth metallic protrusion from the wall. Exactly what Tim had been looking for. 

“Bingo.”

Tim swept his other arm through the air again, doing his best to fan the gass away for him to get a bit of a better view of what he was hoping to see. A metal switch box, old and slightly rusted around the edges. Tim had been counting on any wearhouse by the docks having a ventilation system to keep the products safe from humidity. Of course, he was right. With some difficulty, Tim wrenched the switch box open. After straining to read faded, dusty labels through the gas in the air, he flipped what he hoped was the right switch.

There was a small whine of aching metal that hadn’t moved in a long time and Tim cracked into a grin underneath the helmet. 

He’d done it!

The fans kicked into a regular pace. The smooth ‘whoomp whoomp whoomp’ of turning blades filled Tim with a sense of muted triumph. The foggy haze of fear gas began to thin as the building began to filter it out, mixing it with the humid air. Tim figured it would be condensed and drip out to puddle with the dirty water in the alley behind the warehouse. If Tim was right, which he usually was, it wouldn’t harm anyone unless they decided to drink from the puddle water. Which was unlikely, but not impossible. It was Gotham after all.

Tim looked around the room as the gas dissipated. His gaze found its way to a shaking heap on the floor next to the shattered remains of the canister he had been standing before. The proud grin faded from Tim’s lips. 

That... that wasn’t a good sign at all.

“Hey, um, hood? Red hood, status?” He asked, the words felt strange as they left his mouth. Hearing his own modulated voice echo slightly in the room felt vaguely surreal. 

The heap of muscle and leather known as Jason didn’t reply. 

Seeing Jason’s twitching body on the floor emptied a hollow pit in Tim’s stomach. Jason had never seemed like he was even capable of fear. Capable of rage, capable of hurt, and capable of pain, sure, but fear seemed like something Tim would’ve assumed Jason was beyond. Something so... innate, that the unnatural nature of Jason’s second life would’ve swept it away. 

Tim made his way over, hesitantly rolling the helmet forward off his head. The fear toxin seemed to be thin enough now that it wasn’t harming him.  

“Ja-er, Jason?” Tim’s soft voice seemed thunderously loud in the quiet room. The only other sounds around were the fans quietly whirring away and, far more disturbingly in his opinion, the even quieter shaking breaths and distressed whimpering tumbling from Jason’s lips. 

Jason was not in good shape. He was shaking violently, hands over his head. His whimpers were punctuated by violent spasms that racked his body every few seconds, accompanied with a louder more pronounced cry. 

Tim felt the colour drain from his face. He quickly kneeled down, setting the helmet on the concrete floor next to them both with a slight clink. Tim grabbed Jason’s arm, trying to turn him on to his back. Jason heftily flailed the arm Tim pulled, unintentionally hitting Tim in the face. Tim yelped in surprise as a sharp pain sprung from his nose, warm liquid leaking down his face. The blood pouring down his face didn’t deter Tim much, the blood coursing through him  seeming to do the opposite for pain as it did the rest of his senses. The pain was slightly numbed--or, rather, it had become easy to ignore. He fought to wrangle both of Jason’s arms, quickly scrambling to sit on Jason’s torso, struggling to pin Jason’s arms down with his legs. 

Tim took off his mask. He knew it was against protocol, but an un-obscured face was easier to recognize when the toxin took hold, in Tim’s experience. 

“Jason? Jason, look at me. Can you hear me?” he asked quickly, holding on to Jason’s shoulders. He desperately hoped Jason wouldn’t throw him off. Jason’s eyes were unfocused, spinning around wildly all over the room. 

Tim tried to process Jason’s words, “No, not again, ple--I can’t I--it hurts! Fuck! It hurts,” Jason’s words became incomprehensible for a moment, then his fists clenched tightly. “I don’t want to die! Not again. Not again not again not again! He’s gotta come save me, take me home, he’s gotta! Shit, not again!“ he choked and broke off with a shout and another full body jerk. 

Tim was jostled but didn’t fall off, by some miracle. “Jason!” he tried. “Listen to me!” Tim put his hands on either of Jason’s face. Jason flinched away from Tim’s touch with a sob of “It hurts, it hurts, I can hear all my bones snapping, I’m dying, it’s crushing me, I can’t--I can’t--”

“I know,” Tim cut him off gently, “I know it hurts and--and you’re scared, but you’re not alone, I’m right here. I’m going to help you,” Tim tried to catch Jason’s focus. 

Jason’s roaming eyes stopped dodging around the room, and turned towards Tim. He kept looking from Tim’s shoulders, Tim’s chest, back up to his face and then to his eyes and back to his chest again. Perhaps not the ideal image of calming down but it was a first step. 

“Good,” Tim praised softly in relief. He ran his thumbs over Jason’s cheeks gently. Now more so than ever did Tim take notice of the scars on either side of Jason’s face. On Jason’s left cheek, there was a jagged line that traced from his cheek bone down to his jaw. A similar yet smaller one was mirrored on Jason’s right. Tim could understand why Jason flinched from him. He shook the thought from his mind, “See? We’re okay. Just try to breathe, in and out. You can do that, right, Jason?”

“No! No! I c-can’t, I’m crushed, I can’t. My--my lungs, they’re all full of blood, and mud, and dirt, and fuckin’ I dunno what!” Another violent thrash went through Jason’s body, almost toppling Tim off this time. “I can’t breathe, it hurts! I want it to stop hurting! How do I make it stop!?” 

“Uah--yeah, I know it hurts, but I promise nothing is crushing you. It’s just me, I’m light, and I’m here and I--I know it hurts I’m going to try to make it stop but I need to--” Jason thrashed, but Tim didn’t relinquish his hold on him, “--but I NEED you to stay still!”

Jason’s eyes finally locked on to Tim’s, “M-make it s-stop?” he echoed back to the smaller vigilante.

“Yeah, yeah I’m going to try to make it stop.” Tim slowly pulled his hands away from Jason, sitting back slightly, starting to fish through the many pockets and pouches attached to the strap around his waist.  

He almost always had the antidote on hand. Bruce had trained him and prepared him meticulously, making certain that Tim would be ready with everything they had at all costs. The only issue was it was enough antidote for him; almost seventeen, about a head shorter and ninety pounds lighter--nowhere near enough antitoxin for the two hundred and forty pounds of murder that was the shaking mass of Jason Todd slumped before him.

Jason dropped his head back against the concrete floor, beginning to mutter once again. 

“My fault. All my fault. I can’t--all dead.”

“No one is dead, Jason, everyone is okay,” Tim said, soon after feeling a small surge of triumph as he located his field fear toxin antidote kit. He opened it, quickly pulling out a small vial, and a syringe.

Jason’s eyes snapped to the syringe in Tim’s hand as he filled with antidote. Jason grew quiet for a second before starting to try to fight Tim off of him, “No, no no no no no no! Don’t go! don’t go! Not again, I can’t be alone, can’t be asleep he’s gonna kill us. Dad said he’ll get rid’f his mistakes!” 

Tim knew Bruce wouldn’t have ever threatened Jason like that. He could only assume Jason meant his biological father. 

“Said he would--don’t, don’t! It’s crushing me I can’t be alone!” Jason couldn’t keep hold of his own fears. They ran together, all mixed in to become some dread filled nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. 

Tim was lucky Jason was so sloppy in this state. If he’d had a bit more of his wits about him, Tim figured Jason would’ve easily shaken him off already.

“You aren’t alone!” Tim reminded Jason, struggling to inject Jason without hurting him. “This is going to make it stop, I promise!” Well, that wasn’t fully true. But the dose would reduce it. 

When Jason wouldn’t hold still enough for him to properly gauge where the vein he needed was, Tim unceremoniously jabbed at where he hoped it was instead. 

Jason shouted, thrashing around like a heavy shark in a net being lifted out of water.

Tim pulled the empty syringe away quickly, letting Jason throw him off. He stumbled and crashed back down, landing on the concrete floor a few feet away. Tim only now realized how heavy his breath was as he watched Jason writhe freely on the floor before him. As Tim caught his breath, Jason’s movements gradually began to slow. The mutterings of fear faded into soft whimpers, then into deep breaths like Tim’s. Tim bit at his lip again. “Jason?” he asked, leaning forward slightly.

Jason groaned in response. He took a moment to collect himself as he grew conscious of reality again. Really, reality was a shit hole too, but it was a better shit hole. He shifted slightly, cussing under his breath. 

Tim felt an invisible weight lift from his shoulders; swearing like a sailor was promising in Jason’s case. 

He quickly scooted across the floor to him. 

“Hey,” Tim said in a hushed voice. “Jason? How you feeling?”

Jason--with what felt like the struggle of Sisyphus rolling his boulder for the millionth time--rolled over to face him. The white shock of hair stuck to Jason’s forehead with panic induced sweat. He puffed out a lungful of air in a feeble attempt to blow the hair from his face. Jason swiftly gave up on that and swallowed heavily.

 “I-I... yeah, yeah, I uh... I--okay. I’m feeling okay,” Jason rambled, looking dazed. He took up scanning the room again, hyper-vigilant to any danger.

Tim nodded slowly. He grabbed a water bottle that was shoved in one of his many pouches. He helped Jason sit up, just enough so he could sip at the water, and forced the bottle into Jason’s hands. 

“Drink,” Tim ordered, quietly. 

Jason’s hands still shook lightly, causing him to fumble with the cap in his hands. 

Now that the danger had passed, Tim finally had time to process what had happened; he often found himself acting and only having time to absorb the details afterwards. Details like that Jason had traded his safety and immunity for Tim’s. 

Why did Jason do that?

“Not... that I’m ungrateful,” Tim began hesitantly, “but that was a stupid thing to do, just… now- today,” he stumbled out awkwardly.

“I know,” gasped Jason after a long chug of water, a weak smile on his lips. 

“I mean--it’s like in those before flight messages on planes. Put your mask on before the baby’s or whatever,” Tim joked slightly. Tim’s nose wrinkled slightly, cringing just the tiniest bit as he realized he implied he was the baby in this situation, “Well, you know what I’m getting at…”

Jason seemed to only take even more amusement out of the teen’s regret. Tim never thought he’d see the day where he felt tension draining at the sigh of Jason Todd, a man that tried to kill him and about eighty other people, smiling. 

Jason laughed weakly, though it came out a little haltingly, as the shivering shakes hadn’t yet subsided. “Yeah, well, I d-did have my mask on. I just... gave it to the k-kid before the plane went down,” he mused. He didn’t really believe in his own point, and shook his head. 

“No, no you’re right. It was stupid and I know that.”

They fell into a slightly awkward silence for a second, the burning question still gnawing at Tim’s mind.

“Why?” Tim said, abruptly. “Er, why did you do that? If you knew it was stupid?”

Jason didn’t answer for a long moment. Instead stalling by taking another swig of water. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand before answering.

 “I don’t know,” Jason admitted, with a little smile. 

Jason was breathing heavily, but seemed more focused, “I didn’t... really think. Maybe I was just makin’ up for other stuff I f-fucked up or... dunno. I guess I j-just... I knew if one of us was gonna be safe, it had to be y-ou.”

Jason swore he could practically see the little loading sign twirl in Tim’s nerd-brain as the teen processed what he’d said. The mental loading bar filled, and Jason’s words seemed to click. Tim’s eyes dropped away, and he smiled a little shyly. Not an awkward or uncomfortable smile. Just complimented.

“Thanks,” Tim’s voice was just above a whisper, “ that was... really nice of you.” 

“It’s okay, don’t men-ention it. Like literally ever. It’ll ruin my rep,” Jason cracked a teasing smirk once again and Tim got to his feet laughing lightly.

“Annnnddd he’s back to normal,” Tim chuckled and offered Jason a hand. Tim yanked him, not without obvious difficulty, up to stand tall. Jason leaned on him for a moment before straightening, keeping a hand on Tim’s shoulder to steady himself. Tim quickly bent down and scooped up their masks from the floor where he’d set them down.

“Let’s get you home,” Tim hummed, putting Jason’s arm around his shoulders again when he stood.

“Hey, I’m fin-ne, you don’t have to take me back,” Jason argued, but Tim was already starting to lead him away.

“Too bad, I decided I am.”

“Rep-placement Robin number whatever you are--I am fine!”

“Sure you are, that’s why you can’t stand up right by yourself?”

“Shut up!”

“I speak only truth.”

The two bickered all the way back through away from the docks. All the way back through the city. All the way until they reached Jason’s apartment complex. Then they bickered some more. Though neither knew it yet, what had begun forming was the beginning of a close bond. One that nothing would be able to break.

#batman #robin #jason todd #redhood #red hood #Tim Drake #red robin #batfam big bang 2021 #Just for Fun #idk how tumblr works

[mshermia]

Full Circle - Webpril 01: Field Trip

summary: Peter and MJ are less interested in the field trip and a little more invested in spending time with each other. Someone, who's not spending any time with MJ at all is Tony, very much to his annoyance...

read on AO3

#

Nothing could ever even compete with the way Peter's stomach would flip when he would swing through the urban canyon that was Manhattan. Sure, Queens was awesome, it was his home after all, and there came a special sense of accomplishment with protecting one's home. 

But there was absolutely nothing like swinging from one skyscraper to the next.

Now, it had been forever since Spider-Man had been seen in Manhattan. Not since that day he had climbed onto that spaceship. He hadn't gone out there patrolling for a while after that final battle. When he had put his suit back on for the first time, it had seemed more important than ever to stick to his own neighborhood.

But patrol was not why Peter was back in Manhattan.

He craned his neck, eyes narrowed as he looked up to the very top of the MetLife Building. The name pulled an uncomfortable cringe on his face. It wasn't right. Years ago, the Stark letters had stood up there, only to be replaced by the Avengers symbol after the invasion of New York.

A cold shiver ran down Peter's neck and his entire back spasmed at the sensation. Aliens. The purple grape man. He shook his head. All that was in the past. 

"Hey, you okay?" MJ's hand slipped into his, hidden by their jackets from the rest of the group.

Peter forced his lips into a smile. Well, it honestly came easy whenever he looked at her. His skin broke out in goosebumps once again, in a good way though. In a way that matched the crazy rhythm, the butterflies in his stomach were dancing to.

MJ squinted up at the very top of the building herself now. "You ever been up there? When this was still Stark's?" She kept her voice low. It hadn't taken her long to figure out just how far she had to drop her voice for her words to stay just between her and Peter's enhanced-hearing.

"Long time ago," Peter nodded. "A few parties and tests in the lab before he sold it."

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity, Penis."

Peter stumbled to the side as Flash push himself past them, right between him and MJ. With a heavy sigh, he stopped right in front of them, hands perched on his hip like he was supposed to be the center of attention.

"Actually, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results," Peter hisses through his teeth.

"Well, you would know, Penis, wouldn't you."

Peter's eyes flickered close in resignation, his arms tightly crossed in front of him.

"Get lost, Flash." MJ stepped back next to Peter and pushed him to the other side of the group.

"That's so sad," Flash laughed. "Look at you all whipped, Parker!"

"Just ignore him," MJ mumbled, eyes now on Mr. Harrington who was handing out lanyards to every student.

Peter nodded, eyes on his feet. It was embarrassing, always had been. It was way worse though with MJ right there to witness it. 

"Dude, I'm so psyched!" Ned had been first in line to get his lanyard, excitedly waving it in Peter's face. "How close do you think they'll let us get to it? You think we get to touch it? I mean at least the... the exterior... wall... thingy?"

Some of the tension fell off Peter. His lips slowly pulled back into a genuine smile at Ned's excitement. "Not the way you're buzzing, man... you'll have to be careful not to trigger a fission reaction."

Ned's face morphed into a mask of serious consideration. "That would kind of defeat the clean energy aspect."

Peter laughed. "Exactly!"

"But..." Ned's fingers were drumming against his chin like he was preparing for his full transmission to mad-scientist. "...it would get me Tony Stark's attention though for sure!"

"Ha," Peter barked. "Yeah, but not the kind of attention you're looking for, dude."

Ned grinned at him before he stormed back to the front of the line. Peter however decided to hang back after Mr. Harrington handed the last two lanyards out to him and MJ.

They walked into the lobby side by side though MJ didn't reach for his hand again. Instead, she was craning her head along with everyone else, looking at the oversized window fronts that were projecting different things from facts about the building's layout from floor 1 to 70, the different companies renting office space as well as the event plan for the next few months. When the Tower was still owned by Stark Industries they had had information on all kinds of things that were happening in SI buildings all over the planet projected there, all the way up to the tall ceiling of the entrance area.

"You ever seen one?" 

Peter glanced at her. "An arc?"

"Yeah." Her eyes were now following the lines of the interior design along the columns to the exquisite marble floor.

"I have. Not this one though," he shrugged. "They had one at the Compound upstate."

It had been where Peter had spent most of his real intern days, long after the Tower had been sold, after Toomes but before the purple grape man.

"Not this one? No parties next to the big bulb of energy then," she smirked.

Peter shook his head, glancing over at her. "Nah. Most of Tony's guests prefer the top floor to the basement."

That did get her attention. "The top floor, hm?"

She said it in a tone that made those butterflies in his stomach tumble excitedly. "Great view up there..." 

"Yeah, I bet." She held his gaze for a moment before a lady from the security team ushered them through the barrier.

The students in their group were bouncing excitedly, following behind the tour guide towards the line of elevators on the far side of the entrance area. 

"You know," MJ said, her tone as aloof as always. "I've always been more into architecture than energy technology. Structural engineering, that kind of thing."

Peter kept his eyes on the group, his fingertips buzzing with a new kind of excitement. "You love clean energy."

"I love to use it, but it's not like I necessarily want to build the things that generate it..."

Peter chanced another glance at her, MJ's eyes waiting to meet his. They were halfway across the room when Peter decided to hell with it, he'd just go for it. One hand on MJ's arm, he held her back for a couple of steps, letting the gap between the two of them and the group expand before he pushed her to the left, heading straight for another corridor that forked off and led to a single elevator.

They kept their heads low as they stole around the corner out of sight. The corridor was empty like it always had been even when this had been Mr. Stark's personal elevator. The doors opened right away as Peter pressed the call button and they both slipped into the waiting elevator car.

MJ shot a glance over her shoulder then grinned at Peter as the doors closed behind them. "You know, if they arrest us for this..."

"Can't arrest us for something they didn't outright ban us from, can they?"

One hand clutching her heart, MJ beamed up at him. "Peter Parker, I'm so proud. I bet they'll change the procedure from now on and move the lecture on which sections are off-limits to before they hand out these." She gave the lanyard around his neck a little flick.

Peter barked out a laugh. "Proud of how you're corrupting my pure innocent soul?"

She stepped a little closer to him. The hand that had just been resting on her heart came to lie on his cheek instead. "The circle is now complete." She leaned forward, her lips softly brushing against Peter's. "Student... master... someone becoming the other..."

The butterflies in his stomach, well... they were excited. Excited enough that a flush of heat was rising up to the very tip of his ears. His eyes were falling shut as he leaned against MJ, her lips warm and soft against his until his eyes flew back open. He leaned away from her just enough that MJ staggered forward a little, her eyes flickering open as well.

Peter studied her face, his mouth still gaping a little. "Did you just quote Star Wars to me?"

The confusion fell off her face. With an un-ladylike snort, she dipped her forehead against his shoulder. "Let's say it's your reward for the rule-breaking initiative." Her hand found his as she turned towards the elevator wall. "Let's do this." Her head spun back and forth a couple of times before Peter even caught on to what the problem was. "Wait, there's no control panel."

"Shit..." His heart sank. That tiny detail was going to ruin this for them. "No panel, it's voice-activated. Fuck, I forgot."

"So, you just say the floor and it gets you there. That's pretty cool." MJ looked up at the ceiling. "Level 70."

For a moment, they both froze in anticipation but the elevator didn't move an inch.

Peter rubbed the back of his hand across his forehead. He was starting to sweat. This had been such a dumb idea. "You need clearance for it to work," he grimaced. "Shit, sorry. That was a bit anti-climactic."

Like he was taunting the universe, the doors of the elevator opened and both of them jumped in surprise.

"What up, Parker," Flash chimed up amused. "Trespassing, are we?"

"Jesus Christ, you gotta be fucking kidding me," Peter hissed under his breath, clutching his heart.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Ned was right behind Flash and followed him into the elevator car.

"Nothing. We were just leaving."

"Eww, were you trying to sneak off to hook up with her?" Flash made a face, his upper lip curled up as he looked from Peter to MJ and back. "What a sleazy move."

A bead of sweat was running down the side of Peter's face, anxiety clawing its way under his skin.

"Don't be such a perv, Flash." MJ had her arms crossed, a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"Whatever," Flash mumbled as the doors of the elevator shut again. He craned his neck looking around the car. "How does it move?"

"It's voice activated," both Ned and MJ groaned in union.

Peter squinted at Ned. "Wait, how did you even know where we went?"

"Saw you sneak off, didn't we... floor 70," Flash called out to the ceiling. When nothing happened, he pursed his lips. "Floor 70, please?"

Ned snorted, pulling a scowl onto Flash's face. "Well, I saw you. That one," he pointed at Flash, "just stalked me."

Eyes narrowed, Flash turned on Ned. "Maybe you should work on your sneaking skills if you don't want to be followed."

Ned waved him off. "You try it, Peter!" 

Excitement rang in Ned's voice, like Peter had the secret key to make this work. All it did was make his heart sink. It would have been bad enough to disappoint MJ, but Ned had just skipped out on the very thing he had been daydreaming of for years, seeing the arc, to follow them to a different adventure that Peter would not be able to deliver. Letting him down was even worse than embarrassing himself in front of Flash.

Peter pressed his eyes shut in resignation. There was no way the elevator would move. Without FRIDAY, he had no clearance. If it hadn't been for Flash and Ned, he might have made use of his web-shooters to steal up the elevator shaft with MJ... well, if it hadn't been for Flash... 

Still, he owed it to Ned to at least try. 

"Floor 70, please," Peter mumbled, resigned to the trip turning out to be the bust he had expected it to be.

His knees almost buckled underneath him as the elevator started to move.

"Woohoo!" Ned cheered, clapping him on the shoulder. "Dude, you did it!"

MJ grinned at him, only Flash looked a little pale around his nose. In all honesty, Peter didn't feel much better than Flash looked as the elevator was climbing higher and higher. This shouldn't have worked. He hadn't been in that building for, well 2 to 7 years, depending on who you'd ask. Tony had sold the Tower in 2016.

His head still a little fuzzy, Peter hesitated as the doors opened onto the top floor. He had almost expected them to crash some kind of function. That would have certainly explained why the elevator worked, but the entire floor was empty. It was almost eerie to see it like this when Peter had only ever experienced it lined with cocktail tables and packed with people in fine evening wear. 

"Shit, this is so cool," Ned mumbled, slowly advancing towards the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked Manhattan. "You can basically look right into the Chrysler Building!"

Flash had walked up next to him and waved towards the other building like a little kid waving at all the other cars passing through the rear window of a car. "You know, my dad said he's gonna buy this whole thing one day. So, if you ever want to be invited to one of my parties..."

"Well, he's a little late for that. I doubt the Tower will go back on the market for the next few decades."

Peter's insides froze. For a moment, he was hoping that it was just an illusion, that maybe he was just having a stroke or a minor concussion from patrol he hadn't noticed before. But when he turned, there was no doubt. The man that stalked towards them, decked out in a three-piece suit, dark shades on his face, was no other than Tony Stark.

Both his friends and Flash had turned at once.

Ned looked like he was hyperventilating while his high-pitched whisper rang through the room. "Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod..."

"Oh. My. God," Peter groaned. "What are you doing here?"

Tony gasped, his face pulled into affronted shock. "Is that how you greet your favorite Avenger?"

One hand twisted in his hair, Peter could only stare at him. "I can't believe this is happening right now," he mumbled, staring straight at Tony.

"Okay, while Peter is still trying to reboot that genius brain of his." Tony pointed at Ned who's eyes were in danger of bulging out of his head. "Ted, I presume. Don't know this one," he mumbled as he pointed to Flash, but then his attention singled in on MJ. He strode right past Peter, an outstretched hand extended to her. "That means you must be MJ..." 

MJ's eyes were wide, shifting from Tony over to Peter and back. "Mr. Stark..."

"Call me Tony." The smile underneath his dark-tinted glasses was blindingly bright as she shook his nano-tech hand. That in itself left Peter at a loss for words. "I wish I could say I've heard a lot about you, but that would be a lie." He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder a couple of times in Peter's direction. "You'd think he was guarding Fort Knox. Scratch that, it was easier to get in there than getting anything out of Peter when it comes to his new girlfriend."

"Oh god, please, stop talking!" Peter's face was hot, glowing like the surface of the sun. Even as he was hiding behind his hands he felt like he was illuminating the entire room.

"See, even now he's acting like this is all a big secret. Like I wouldn't notice how he rather spends his weekends in the city now than with dear old me, but I noticed and I do have his aunt's number. I mean, what does a guy have to do in order to be granted some time with their... well, intern. I only saved the universe, well, half of it. The lost half. You're welcome, by the way." He pointed at Ned and Flash as well. "You too, I guess."

Unaccustomed to Tony's rambling nature, MJ, Ned and Flash were sporting an identical look of opened-mouthed wonder, eyebrows slightly pulled together as they tried to follow Tony's chaotic monologue. 

"It's not like I don't still have about a million things to teach him. Lesson number one," he turned to Peter. "You never ever stop making out with a girl to point out a Star Wars reference. I didn't think anyone would have to be taught that!"

Peter's jaw popped open. "Oh my god, you were watching us this whole time?"

He waved a hand at Peter. "FRIDAY and I were quite amused, I'm not gonna lie, but-- hey, come on!"

One hand on Tony's upper arm, Peter pushed him toward the other side of the room. While the other three were rooted on their spots in stunned silence, Peter had no such reservation.

"What in holy hell do you think you're doing?"

"Would you calm down? You're the one who's sneaking off without thinking about the 5 gazillion cameras that are installed in this building."

"And how exactly do you still have access to all these cameras, huh? Did you bribe someone to spy on my field trip?"

"Yeah, talking about that field trip, you know you could have just told me your team wanted to see the arc and I could have—"

"Don't change the subject!"

Tony tilted his head a bit to the side. "I don't usually have to bribe anyone to access what's mine."

Even though his eyes were almost entirely hidden behind the dark-tinted glasses, Peter stared at him. But no matter how long he did, Tony did seem entirely serious. "You bought back the Tower."

It wasn't a question and Tony didn't bother to pretend like it was either.

Peter's shoulder's slumped in resignation. "When did this happen?"

Tony shrugged, suddenly suspiciously quiet. 

His nerves reaching an all-time high, Peter blew out a long breath. "Was this before or after my school's decathlon team happened to be invited to visit the arc?"

"Erm..." Tony pursed his lips, pretending to think. "I mean, I'm not sure about your little club's time table or anything like that so I wouldn't be entirely sure if—"

"You gotta be fucking kidding me." Peter ran both hands through his hair, at a complete loss. "What the hell is going on with you?"

"Hey, it's not like you gave me much of a choice." Tony's finger was pointed at him, his eyebrows raised above the dark rims of his glasses, like Peter was in the know of what was going on.

"I have no idea what you're even talking about."

He huffed out an annoyed little breath. "Well, why is it that May got to meet your girlfriend and I'm still wondering if you made her up or not? And even that just because Pepper let something slip that May wasn't supposed to talk about when—"

"Okay, please..." Peter's arms and hands were stretched out, voice low like he was trying to calm a skittish animal. "...please tell me, that you didn't buy back the Tower just so you could meet MJ."

Tony crossed his arms in front of himself. "Oh, don't flatter yourself, Underoos."

"Oh god..." His head was hurting. 

"I did not. Pepper would skin me alive."

Peter wasn't quite sure if he meant for spending that kind of money or for meddling with Peter's love life in general. "Then why didn't you just tell me you bought it?"

His arms twitched with another shrug. "I thought it would be a fun surprise."

Peter glanced over his shoulder in the direction of his friends and Flash, but they were well out of sight. "Listen, I'm sorry I haven't made it out to the cabin that often. It's not... it's not like I don't want to come out, it's just... it's the other side of town and—"

"And there's not enough room and you don't have a desk there to work at and the basement is too small and Morgan's up at what feels like dawn and has you grumpy in the mornings and the woods are creepy and you still don't like driving and what did I miss?"

Peter's head was bowed low. He had never said those things to Tony. Not out loud. He'd thought them for sure though.

"I know things haven't been ideal and with the Compound gone, well... this will be the better option."

Peter frowned, slowly looking back up at Tony. "The better option?"

"The lab in the Tower will be big enough that we can have like three desks each, easily. It's close enough for you to drop by whenever you want or go home in time so you, you know, don't miss a date or something. If you want to stay over there's no reason your room has to share a wall with Morgan's, the kitchen, or the living room, so no early wake-ups. No creepy trees outside your window and the subway station is just around the corner."

Peter's eyes were burning. Somehow... somehow this did sound a lot like he was the reason why Tony bought back that damn building after all.

With a swift motion, Tony took off his glasses, the expression on his face soft but sincere. "I miss you, kid. I'm not happy with how things have been going since they... well, since we've moved back to the cabin full time."

Peter moved his weight from one foot to the other. It wasn't like he hadn't missed Tony. He didn't even mind the cabin all that much, things had just been, well, different.

It wasn't just about where Tony lived now, that he was married with a kid. It wasn't that he had retired Iron Man, not really. 

Everything was just so different and for some reason, Tony of all people acted like nothing at all had changed between them. 

"Listen, Pete, I don't mean to—" He stopped himself, lowering his voice little further. "If I overstepped and you actually... well, if you actually just want your space and you want to cut back on the erm... internship, either way, that's perfectly fine and of course, we can figure out a new routine for the... neighborhood side project to—"

"I can't believe you bought the fucking Tower for me," Peter mumbled.

Tony tilted his head to the side. The corner of his mouth was pulled back into a soft smirk. "I invented fucking time travel for you, kid."

Peter's throat was dry, but he tried to swallow the growing lump anyway. "You did that because of the purple grape. Because of what he did to like 50% of the universe."

There was a beat of silence between them. Tony held his glance, staring at him unblinkingly. "Did I?"

Peter's lips parted, but there was nothing to say, his mind simply blank. "Tony... I... I'm not sure—"

"Alright now..." Without another moment of hesitation, Tony stepped a little closer, his arms pulling Peter into a tight hug. "We won't do that now. Not here. Not today," he whispered. One of his hands, the human one, was on the back of Peter's head when he quickly pressed a kiss against his temple. "I missed you, buddy."

Peter's fingers were clinging to Tony's back, his eyes pressed shut as he tried not to think about what Tony had said. Tried not to analyze what it meant if he had really done all of it just for him.

It took a few more mumbled words from Tony until he let go. His head held low, Peter ran the sleeve of his shirt over his eyes.

"You want this?" Tony held out his glasses for him to take. 

With a wet snort, Peter waved his hand away. "Yeah, 'cause that's not super obvious at all..."

Tony shrugged, the smirk on his lips deepening. Just before he pushed his glasses back onto his face, Peter caught a glimpse of the glassy brown eyes, a little red probably not unlike his own. With an overly heavy sigh, Tony wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulder. „Come on, buddy... I think at least one of your friends is dying to see that technological marvel in my basement.”

Peter scrunched up his nose, not even trying to pull away from him. “Can you at least try not to be weird?”

“I won’t make any promises.” 

"You could make up for it and let Ned touch the arc." He bit his lip, hiding a smile. "He really really wants to..."

"Why do you want to break that thing I just bought for you?"

Peter let his head drop against Tony's shoulder. "It's okay, I'll help you fix it."

#

This is the first time I've written something for this fandom that is *not* whump, so let me know, what you think!

I'll try to fill a bunch of these prompts, because I love running from my WIPs. Don't hate me for it ;) <3

#webpril #webpril 2021 #webpril 2021 day 1 #field trip #peter parker fic #irondad #IRON DAD AND SPIDER SON #iron dad fic #tony stark lives #tony stark fanfiction #fluff #post-endgame

[obscureoperations]

#8 for the prompt thingy

<3

Dude... first off, I'm sorry it took so long. I just really didn't know where to go with this prompt. I stuck to the basics, y/n (reader) finding out about his sickness. Self indulgent angst ensues.

For the longest, you had convinced yourself that it wasn’t him. There was no possible way he could be The Count. You had been tuning into that old radio station for years, Monday through Thursday at nine pm sharp. For the longest, you didn't connect the dots, the stranger’s voice was so much deeper than Martin’s. Though they did share the same odd way of speaking. Cryptic at times--and at others exceedingly blunt. At one point, you had to admit, you had a small crush on the anonymous caller-- you always had a thing for the macabre and bizarre. He explained his crimes in a way that was akin to reading lines from a textbook.

The young man was sick-- that much was clear, but you felt somewhat sympathetic towards his predicament. His thirst for blood was most likely a medical condition. No one in his family cared enough to get him any help. And then there was the loneliness--being othered by everyone around him. Sometimes, you could clearly hear the sorrow in his voice, still mourning the loss of a proper upbringing. You often wondered what he looked like. Was he some scrawny kid living in his parent’s attic? At times, his voice didn’t sound natural.. As though he was intentionally masking his tone.

He became your instant crush. That one hidden desire that no one needed to know about. The long and stagnant work days seemed to drift by--with the slight hope that the Count would call in that night. At one point,you were clearly becoming a bit overly invested...you needed a distraction. As always--your wishes were granted. The distraction came in the form of one beautiful boy

~~

When you first met Martin, he seemed to be too good to be true-- he had a quiet sort of way of invading your thoughts. The moment you spotted him behind the counter in Cuda’s shop, you couldn’t understand why his face looked so familiar. There was a far away sort of look in his eyes as he stared off in the direction of the windows. He looked, somewhat out of place-- almost as though he belonged to another time. His skin was luminescent under the sunlight.

You felt as though you had just been punched the moment your eyes met. He looked just as startled, all color seemed to drain from his face-- he regarded you with the most curious expression.

Your relationship was almost effortless, it all started with you visiting him at the shop. Did you really need a can of coke every day around noon? Apparently you did. He seemed to catch on quickly enough, he was no longer as flustered whenever you’d arrive. He even went out of his way to make polite conversation, stepping away from the counter as soon as the lines cleared.

It was pretty silly in your opinion, why were you so drawn to this kid? A month ago, you didn’t even know he existed-- and now you were left figuring out ways just to see him.

He told you his schedule, the time he usually went on break--what time he usually got off. “Just in case… I like talking to you y/n.” The two of you were pretty much inseparable.

~

“P-please don’t leave.” His voice was barely a whisper. He sat crouched down in the far corner of your room. Close to the window, he seemed to like surprising you in that way-- the look on your face when you let him in very nearly broke him. You had been crying, that much was clear. The moment he asked you what was wrong, you flinched away. You didn’t want him to touch you. Had he done something wrong? “Y/n What did I do?.. why are you crying?”

He had truly screwed up, why couldn’t he just leave well enough alone? He hadn't called in to the station in months. Since being with you, he didn’t need to. He finally had someone to talk to. The crushing loneliness quelled by the sound of your voice. The assurance that you actually saw him. You entered his life like a dream-- you were the person he had been searching for. He was sure of it! Even your face looked so familiar--he would catch glimpses in the midst of his dreams.

But now, he had messed it all up. He just wanted to check in. Assure his ‘followers’ that he was still alive, and at this point actually happy. In his most recent call he had disclosed that he met someone--the best person in the world. Obnoxious sounds of broken glass streamed over the airwaves “Ya hear that? I’m sorry ladies--but the Count is officially taken!”

You had felt a slight flicker of disappointment, but it was more so fueled by nostalgia. If you didn’t have Martin, you might be a bit more upset-- but you were glad that the caller was coming out of his shell. They might convince him to get help! The more and more he spoke about the union, things began to fall in place. He mentioned everything from the way they would laugh-- to the way that he wished they would finally quit their job. “It just leaves them so tired and overwhelmed.. I-I just want them happy-- and with me all the time.”

You were just ranting about your job the other day. Martin… Please say that it’s not you.

~

“Don’t leave? Martin,“You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what?”

He was sobbing, knees buried against his chest, as you try to explicitly explain why everything in your relationship was wrong.

Why couldn’t he just tell you?! He could tell you just about anything..right? Why leave you so afraid for his well being every night. You would have loved him through anything. Sickness, doubt and old age, But he was somehow still insecure. He still felt the need to hide this part of himself-- you knew all about his addictions. You had yours as well.

Your mind was reeling--- you really wanted to crawl over and wrap your arms around him. He looked so small huddled against your windowsill, fingers lightly covering his ears. Gently rocking himself back and forwards, muttering breath his breath-- “I should have said something… y/n. J-Please don’t leave…”

So this was him. You actually Had the Count. In a way, your prayers had been answered. He cared for you enough to keep this part of himself hidden for so long. Perhaps you overreacted--but you really just needed Martin to trust you.

You tried your best to still yourself, absentmindedly wiping at the corners of your eyes. Out of all things, you weren't going to cry. At least, not in front of him. His tears were enough. You wanted to forgive him,you really did. It didn’t sit right in your soul, to be angry with him. It was much like the nights that he would disappear,without any reasonable explanation.

Your fingers card through his hair, as your irritation continues to rise.Dampness soaks into the fabric of your jeans-- at one point you want to physically pry him away from you.

“Why should I care about your tears, when you clearly don’t care about mine?!”

He seems almost startled for a moment, as he blinks. His expression alone continues to tug at your heart strings.

“Y/n.. I care… so much. I love you.”

There it goes again

“Where? I can’t see it. I can’t touch it! Martin...where is your love?”

He remains immobile for a moment as another wave of sobs wracks through his slight frame. He clutches his knees to his chest, fingers digging into the cuffs of his jeans--

You didn’t expect an answer. You didn't have the answer. You just wanted him out of your sight.

“The trees…” He mumbles..almost incoherently.. “Y-you can feel it in the trees. a--and in the sunlight….that’s when you love me too.. Right?”

And you did.. Unfortunately so. You nod briefly as you reach for your overnight bag.

“And in the breeze? You think of me then?”

He looked so small, crouched down in the corner of your room with tear stained cheeks.

If it was anyone else, it would have been so easy to cut them loose. But this was Martin. 

“Darling, I need you to talk to me.”

#martin 1977 #martin 1978 #martin mathais #martin/you #martin/reader #queue

[bluepallilworld]

Ok so here the warning ^^. THIS STORY ISN'T FLUFFY, IT'S ANGSTY. BE AWARE OF IT 🌟 It's not my more angsty work but I just want you to stay safe if you're sensible. No blood or thingies like that but there is some despair. I'll put a resume later of the whole backstory if you don't want to read sad stuff (ㆁωㆁ)

[*you decided to continue*

*Mimosa looks lost in his thoughts, maybe he's remembering something ?*

*but what?* ]

.

.

.

A slimy coldness was slowly spreading inside his body. This icy tempest taking over, step by step, the weak control he couldn't keep anymore. He was frozen from the head to the tip of his toes, the fire called “hope” extinguished since long in his soul. The slight confusion he felt at the beginning had completely vanished to a blank feeling. He remembered quite well his thoughts at this moment but… He doesn't care anymore.

They had left so quick… No goodbye, nothing…

It was then almost breakfast time and all was already set on the kitchen table. First he thought they forgot something and just waited. The meal needed to be perfect after all, it was the funniest time of the day. When he could talk about dreams and weird ideas. It never failed to put a smile on their face. One's looked more like a smirk than an actual genuine smile but it was enough, he learned to not expect more and appreciate it to its full.

He likes this smiles -to see them happy- he was under the impression that it happened more and more lately. Yes it was not perfect but it was no longer this dull happiness that filled the air when he was a bit more than a tiny toddler. His own little family of three.

Where are they? This house is for three, not one… He tried at first to wait but he had been hungry. So he ate his breakfast. Alone. He mumbled under his breath mimicking a sneaky remark and dodged the invisible piece of bread that would have inevitably come flying after.

Why hadn't they come back yet? Usually they don't leave him on his own for long. Because he was “a big baby that couldn't do things right alone”. It could have sounded a bit mean if the tone used to say these words wasn't always so playful and if he wasn't always nuzzled softly right after.

Yeah. He was their big baby. So why didn't they take him with them? Or at least tell him how long they would be gone?

He tried to do some of the old stupid things he remembered being told to not do when he was younger. He drew all over the floor expecting someone came to ground him. Nobody came. He climbed up on the highest furniture expecting someone came to grab him before saying something like “So what little monkey? You wanna be a bird, now?” and throw him on the fluffy cushions of the couch. But nobody came. He went to open the not-so-well-hidden chocolate closet expecting someone came to run after him. But nobody came…

Nobody came. Nobody came. Nobody came.

So he stopped doing anything.

He put on his most comfy dress-like clothes and sat still in the center of his room.

He left the door open to keep a good view of the big door that ate them. The more he looked at it, the more he saw it as a strange beast that will throw them up sooner or later. He will be there for that.

He waited long. He's great at waiting long. He could wait for hours in a hidden corner during a game of hide and seek if he felt like it.

Oh! What if they were playing a game right now? While he knew it was a silly thing to believe in, he searched, full of a new positive feeling. He searched everywhere.

He only stopped when he tripped and fell flat. He shouted something he heard before. While he didn't know the meaning, he knew that if you trip you shout that.

He stayed laying down for a while and had to come to a bitter conclusion. They aren't here. He was pretty sure at least one (the two in a good day) would have come out to see if he was alright. So... no hide-and-seek.

He went back to the room, sat on the knees and waited again.

He waited and waited and waited and waited.

Without a clock and since there wasn't this much of a difference between night and day here. He didn't know how long. Too long surely.

He was beyond hungry but already went numb to the sensation. He knew he wouldn't die from this so he didn't care.

Like a flickering candle, he was slowly extinguishing. His round eyelight was now out and even his cross shape one was more and more dim. He was slouched yet still staying a bit upright. And very still. The view would kinda be a bit scary for an outsider.

An insidious thought came to his mind. What if they didn't love him anymore? What if… they just gave him up? Perhaps he did too much? Or was too much? What if they left him because he was… wrong?

After this statement, his thoughts kept spiraling down and down and something just… broke in him…

It was suffocating. He was suffocating. He grabbed a full hand of fabric as he felt trapped. A wave of painful panic took him and this time he grabbed hard on the sides of his skull, leaving tiny marks. He was just fading away while feeling like he would burst. He didn't understand what was happening but it was finished in a short instant.

Everything went white.

He closed his eyes.

...

When his eyes opened again, he wasn't in his room anymore…

Cross belongs to @/jakei95

Shattered Dream to @/shattereddreamsau

Dark cream by @zu-is-here

Oh and I since it's dark cream ship kid related, I guess I'll tag @official-darkxunshine-kids ^^

#writing #my writing #Mimosa #backstory #Mimosa's backstory #the name of the doc was : aka I-don't-feel-so-well Mimosa #because it makes me laufh XD #despair tw #I guess? #I dunno if I should put more tw? #yup It's short I wouldn't dare make my baby boi this sad for too long uwu #I hope you like it ? 👉👈

[moonlightreal]

Fate looks toward season 2

Where you reach the bad ending, where do you go from there?

In season 1 we got the bad ending.  The school had been taken over by Rosalind, Queen Luna, and Andreas, who are all extremely sus people!

Queen Luna believes in being in control, and you only get control by having power.  This is most obvious in the way she tries to crush her daughter’s spirit, thinking she can force Stella to be perfect. She’s also a believer in the Sith philosophy of using hate and anger to fuel magic.  Oh, and she covered up what happened at Aster Dell, which is super sketch.  We’re not totally sure what did happen, but if it was “heroes destroy town of blood witches and Burned ones!’ she probably wouldn’t have needed to cover it up.

Andreas is… he’s an odd one! Is anybody else getting crazy-eyes vibes from him?  His eyes are not actually crazy but there’s somethin’ off about the dude.  Badass Marco mentioned him as having “bloodlust” and said it was maybe good that Sky didn’t take after his dad. Andreas respects Rosalind to the point of drawing sword on his friend to follow Rosalind’s orders.  We hear from Silva that Rosalind had given Andreas a sense of purpose and he felt indebted to her.  For what, I wonder.  

He also seems to have hidden out of the public view for sixteen years on Rosalind’s command!  I wonder where he was hiding!  Was it just him and Beatrix in a cottage somewhere?  Also, why did Andreas neglect his son but agree to raise Beatrix?  Maybe he thought she was the chosen one, that’d be a good enough reason but B honestly seems to care for her foster father.

Also, and this is something I don’t think the show meant to imply… sometimes kids who are abused grow up to be overly sexual, since they learn the wrong kind of love from adults when they’re young.  That suggests a whole ‘nother level of grimdark and I do not think the writers meant to go there.  I think they just went “raised by Andreas” and “evil = slutty stereotype” and never put the two thoughts together to see the icky implications.  I sure as blazes hope not!  There’s dark and then there’s just ew.

And then there’s Rosalind.  What do we even know about her?  She was headmistress before Dowling, and mentor-slash-commanding-officer to the adults.  And she knows more about magic than the teachers at the school.  A lot more.  She knows about the nature of the Burned Ones and the Dragon Flame, and she taught Bloom how to transform in like an hour when no fairy has done that in ages!  Maybe it’s easier for Bloom, but still, Rosalind has loads and loads of lost knowledge. Where did she learn all this?

At any rate Rosalind is responsible for nuking Aster Dell, though how and why that went down is unclear.  She nuked a place.  And she manipulated her friends into helping without giving them the full story either.  They were so upset they locked her up in stasis for sixteen years until Bloom let her out.  Dowling calls Rosalind a manipulator several times, and from what we see in the show that’s spot on.  

Rosalind is also happy to murderize Dowling to take over the school so they can turn everyone to Sith philosophy.

With these three at the helm Alfea will become a scary place.  The baddie adults will be teaching magic fueled by anger and hate.  Also, we’ve just had the first fairy transformation in ages.  Will the rest of the students be pressured to transform also?

I worry the most about Stella in this situation, her heart’s already fragile after being battered by her mother for years.  Stella could just collapse, especially is her mom stays around at the school.  Or she could go full Stockholm and embrace the Sith ways.  After all, she just tried letting friendship in and THIS happened.

And I worry about Terra, the bravest of the girls and least likely to sit down and shut up for the sake of survival.  How much trouble will she get into surrounded by adults acting in bad faith?

Bloom will be Rosalind’s special student, probably under her mentor’s eye the whole time.  Wonder how long it’ll take Bloom to have the awful realization that Rosalind is not her friend.

And Musa and Aisha should get a chance to shine as spies.  Musa by reading minds to tell which students have accepted the Sith teachings and which have not, and Aisha I hope at least kept the magic thingy that eavesdrops on Dowling’s office.  Be nice if Aisha stayed the secretary, but I bet Rosalind puts Bloom in that place.

Beatrix will be official queen bee with her two-dude harem of Riven and Dane. But the three of them could turn out to be a problem, because they’ve all had moments of not-evil.  Riven is friends with Sky; what happens when the baddies threaten Sky?  Or when Dane gets squeamish?  Beatrix is a straight-up true believer in Rosalind and Andreas, but they’ve built that belief by making her desperate to find the truth.  What happens when the truth doesn’t match what her idols tell her?  Beatrix is everything she is, but she’s got a brain and there are moments when she seems to have a heart for her two fellas.  

Our nice adults are in trouble.  Ben Harvey is a good dude, but if he tries anything Rosalind can always threaten Sam and Terra, so he’s well and truly pinned.  

Silva has been hauled off to a dungeon somewhere!  I can guess that Sky and Bloom will launch a rescue mission as soon as Sky works out that his biological father is not a good dude and Silva really was on his side the whole time.

And poor Farah Dowling is dead and buried!  Of course that doesn’t necessarily mean we won’t see her again.  We don’t know the limits of Dowling’s powers, only that she is very badass indeed, so it seems totally possible that she could heal herself under the ground.  Or she could still be alive now, having sent a magical decoy to talk to Rosalind.  Dowling’s smart enough not to sit and chat with a magical baddie without taking precautions.  But I think it’ll be a tree, just because Faragonda got turned into a tree once.  A tree will grow on Dowling’s grave and she’ll step out of it alive.

Oh, and there are a “shit ton” more Burned Ones out there, and they’re ‘nothing compared to what’s coming”.  According to Rosalind who knows a lot but lies a lot.  

So our heros and heroines need to keep themselves from going to the dark side, protect Stella from her mum, rescue Silva, defeat the worse-than-Burned-Ones and rally their fellow students to kick the baddies out of their school!  They have a lot on their plates!

And there will be new characters, at least one.  There is no way that Netflix won’t bring a very latina Flora in after the backlash.  But is there really a place for her in the story?  Terra has a very different personality from Flora, so if they lean on Flora’s “gentle earth mother” side it could be ok.  But really the cast doesn’t need another earth fairy.  Or, might they kill off Terra?  Have her die awesome protecting her father? 

A black Tecna would be way more interesting, but I do not think that would appease the fandom since it’s such an obvious pander to the whitewashing accusations.  Also, there’s not much emphasis on technology in Fate so there’s really not much place for her either.

I’d rather like to see Ricki come back.  Stella’s bestie who Stel accidentally blinded.  Is she still blind?  Does she know it was an accident?  Does she hate Stella now, or did her horrified family forbid her to stay in touch?  Has Luna turned her against Stella, just in case the evil queen needs one more way to squeeze trauma-fueled magic out of her daughter?  What’s it like being a blind fairy?  We don’t know what element Ricki was, so maybe she could do the “see through the ground” thing like Toph, or as a mind fairy see through the eyes of the people around her.  Ricki would be interesting!  But I bet we never hear of her again.

Possibly I should write… no. Get thee behind me, plotbunnies!

But what do you think?  What do you think the baddie adults will do to the school?  How do you think the students will react?  Do you think Dowling is alive?  Who will Netflix add to the cast to try and calm the angry fandom, and who do you wish they would?  Are you glad we’re getting a season 2 or would you rather just let this part of Winx Club’s history vanish in the rearview mirror?

#fate the winx saga

[lorei-writes]

Match-Up #4

Hello, @mineko811​​ ! The matchmaking shall begin! :3

Hmm... This may be absolutely wrong, although the first impression I got while reading this list was that you may fall into the “unmovable rock” category - not so much because you seem to be cold like one, but much rather since all those combined (loyalty, kindness, wisdom, empathy and integrity) could be a mark of a great source of support and/or advice. Regardless of correctness of this guess, I did go on with an assumption that kindness and empathy may increase odds of you being willing to help others. However, due to integrity factor, I do suppose that interacting with characters tangled in webs of lies could be extremely frustrating.

Nobunaga (+) Masamune (+) Hideyoshi (+) Ieyasu (/) <- I can see his contrary nature as somewhat annoying Mitsuhide (-) Shingen (-)

Given that you described yourself as wise, I reckon suitors with plenty of life experience, knowledge and/or curiosity my be appreciated. 

Nobunaga (+) Masamune (+) Mitsunari (+) Shingen (+)

Now, to loyalty... I presume this could be considered in several ways. Loyal people may be able to follow the ones they have trust in to great lengths. One could call it a good thing - although it could just as easily become destructive, especially if the other side decided to hurt their partner to “keep them away for their own good”. As such, not points were distributed for this.

I can see anxiety and being easily stressed out potentially causing issues in some of the possible relationships - after all, plenty of the warlords endanger themselves for the “greater good”, as they’d put it (or their own ideals).However, given as you mentioned your integrity... I presume it could be somewhat forgiven, at least if they could make up for caused worry afterwards. Minus points were still given to warlords who seem to risk plenty, but more as to hurt/punish themselves. 

Kenshin (-)

Impatience could make some relationships next to impossible. However, contrary to what it may seem at first glance, it perhaps could be an advantage in some cases - it could provide that little extra push.

Mitsunari (-) Hideyoshi (+)

It’s similar with being quick to anger - as much as soothing presence may be appreciated,

Shingen (+) Mitsuhide (+)

it’s entirely possible that showing your feelings like that could resonate with some of the warlords. After all, it shows you care - and maybe could save you from having your boundaries crossed? Especially with more hot-headed and hard-headed suitors, I can see it as an advantage. 

Nobunaga (+) Masamune (+) Hideyoshi (+)

1st Summary:

Nobunaga ( + + + ) Masamune ( + + + ) Hideyoshi ( + + + ) Shingen (+) Kenshin (-) REST OF THE MATCH-UP & THE CONCLUSION BELOW THE CUT.

Points distributed for likes:

Nobunaga (+++) <- cocktails, hiking, travelling Masamune (+++) <- hiking, travelling, food Shingen (++) <- food, cocktails Mitsuhide (++) <- cocktails, travelling Hideyoshi (+) <- food (he did take MC out to eat + he knows that eating is important)

Masamune (-) <- he really can’t hold any amount of alcohol, so drinking with him around... At best you just drink by yourself, at worst you have drunk (absolutely adorable, but also absolutely heavy) “futon”-hugging, immobilising Masamune.

Masamune (-) <- big groups of people  Nobunaga (-) <- big groups of people Mitsunari (-) <- lack of self-awareness 

All warlords are involved in some sort of “drama”, be it family matters or the entire “I will have your head!” thingie. As such, none were given minus points for that.

2nd Summary:

Nobunaga ( + + + + + ) Hideyoshi ( + + + + ) Masamune ( + + + + ) Shingen ( + + + ) Mitsuhide ( + + ) Kenshin & Mitsunari ( - )

Only characters with ( + ) by their name will be considered in the final stages.

It doesn’t seem that any of the remaining suitors fall under any of the deal-breakers. However, given how misleading first impressions can be, ( - ) were distributed accordingly:

Masamune (-) <- at first, he’s very casual about the relationship and simply considers MC to be cute. Surely, he isn’t shallow, but he can give off that impression at first (hence only a minus, instead of being crossed out). Shingen (-) <- similarly to Masamune above, he may come off as a cheap flirt at first. Is he one? No. But it could make the beginning of the relationship a bit rocky. Nobunaga (-) <- He could be seen as harsh an merciless. Only upon closer look his kindness is revealed (I would even dare to say a very close look), so, again - a rocky beginning.

Points distributed for pet peeves:

Shingen (-) <- disingenuous (to a certain extent, but still) Mitsuhide (-) <- disingenuous 

Points distributed for wild cards: Hideyoshi (+) <- knowing his way around finer things while remaining down to earth Shingen (+) <- knowing his way around finer things while remaining down to earth Mitsuhide (+) <-  knowing his way around finer things while remaining down to earth

Luckily, it appears Yukimura is out of equation here.

Final Results:

Hideyoshi ( + + + + + ) Nobunaga ( + + + + ) Masamune ( + + + )

Hideyoshi:

To call him a kind man would be an understatement, although he doesn’t seem to hold much of this kindness for himself. Loyal, honest and with a somewhat motherly nature, he cares a lot about others, so much so that he forgets about his own needs - and if anything, patience won’t fix that problem! The anger you feel, although generally may be considered a flaw, could provide an invaluable push for him to finally put himself first for once - for the both of you. This isn’t to say he wouldn’t fight anymore or that his ideals would disappear, no, far from it... But he wouldn’t be willing to die for them anymore - he’d live for them, and he’d make up for any worry he has caused.

Hideyoshi isn’t scared of caring for others. He seems to naturally accept most people as they are, although sometimes he struggles, especially when he is being pushed away - regardless, needing any help won’t put him off. He would never betray your trust, his ability to lie being rather... Questionable, to say the least. And you? Show him kindness, be there for him. He won’t ask for anything else - perhaps he wouldn’t even know how to. After all, he isn’t used to people thinking of him in such a way... Perhaps that needs changing. 

Possible issues may arise around him devaluing himself, which could lead to stress-inducing situations. However, he isn’t impossible to reason with.  Free time ideas: visiting tea shops together, sharing meals (and responsibilities around making them), going on trips (around Azuchi, but also if there was some errand to run further away), cuddling at night and sharing stories from the past

Nobunaga:

Intelligent and curious, upon realising who you are, he’ll seek your stories, tales of the future. At first he may come off as rather harsh, perhaps even brutal in some of his antics - however, after getting to know him better, you’d be bound to see some of the kindness in him, even if hidden deep inside. After all, it was the drive for a better world that pushed him forward - and this world wasn’t supposed to be better just for him. Living in constant fear of betrayal, he’d appreciate your loyalty, soon learning to let go of his suspicions around you. Additionally, he isn’t one to devalue a piece of advice because of its source - a man, a woman, an adult, a child, as long as the words do make sense, he doesn’t care.

He’d appreciate your righteous anger and would turn any other kind into a laughable story, perhaps sometimes helping you calm down with his own expertise. Being somewhat detached from his emotion, he’d benefit greatly from your kindness. In a way, he may find solace in your presence, finally allowing himself to drop his defences - or at least some of them.

However, living with a powerful lord like that could feel lonely, his workload proving to be overwhelming at times, leaving him with little free time so spare. Possible issues may arise around that, although it seems Nobunaga would be willing to compromise and try to find some solutions satisfactory for both sides. Free time ideas: travelling together (both on errands and privately), preparing meals together/eating together after a long day of work, watching the night sky from the tenshu, drinking together

#ikesen match #ikesen #ikemen sengoku #match-ups event

[the-evil-authoress]

GX Month Day 8: “The Power of Friendship!”

Favorite dynamic duo, two characters you think would have been friends if only they met, how friendship saves the day, or maybe a friendship fail. It’s up to you!

HERE. Have some super self indulgent hot springs shenanigans feat. my favorite trio! =D

“This is amazing...” Jesse groans, rolling his head against the rocks as he sinks into the indulgently warm water. It’s a bone deep warmth, chasing away any stress or aches and rendering his mind blissfully numb.

“Never been to one?”

It takes a moment to process Jaden’s words. “Don’t have ‘em back home,” he mumbles, shaking the pleasant fog out of his head just enough to formulate the sentence. “Wish we did. Feels like heaven.” He sinks a little further, practically boneless mush, before a nagging little thought drags him out of the bliss. “Å, where’s Chris? There aren’t dividers for privacy.” He rolls his head toward his companion.

“She’s around here somewhere,” Jaden says, eyes still closed as he leans against the rocks, completely unconcerned. Well, the two had spoken like they come here often so Jesse probably shouldn’t worry about it.

A sharp trill followed by a splash catches his attention. Not far away, Ruby paddles through the water, ripples parting around her. “What?” Jesse sits up abruptly.

“Oh, yeah.” Jaden snickers as Jesse stares at the contradiction to everything he knows about duel spirits. “Out here duel spirits can interact with nature more than usual. Chris said it’s something about the high concentration of natural energy.”

“Å?” There are too many question from that sentence alone for Jesse to pretend it makes sense.

“Oh, well, I guess it’s the reason Christina can see duel spirits?” Jaden says thoughtfully. “She can see a lot of things most people can’t, some things even we can’t.” A hand motions between himself and Jesse. “She can see a person’s-- what’s it called...? Not soul.” Voice dropping, he mutters to himself as he bites a thumb nail. “Energy of the body?”

“Aura!” Dark Magician Girl pops up without warning, and only having seven of his own spirits that like to pop up unannounced keeps Jesse from startling too badly. “She can see a person’s aura,” Dark Magician Girl continues eagerly. “And she’s pretty in tune with the flow of natural energy through the world; it’s why she can always spot the bad guy!”

“Aura?” The term sounds vaguely familiar. “Like a person’s soul?”

Dark Magician Girl shakes her head. “No, she can’t see your actual soul, it’s more like the light given off by your soul.”

Jesse blinks. Was that supposed to make sense?

Humming, Dark Magician Girl pressed a finger to her lips in thought. “Think of it this way,” she finally says, pintling to the sky. “You can’t look at the sun directly but you can still see the light it produces.”

“Å.” Still not sure how that relates to aura and soul light.

“Yeah, I never really understood it either.” Jaden offers a sympathetic grin.

Dark Magician Girl visually pouts before snapping her fingers with an, “Aha! Those lamp thingies you humans use for light! You put a lampshade over the bulb so you can’t see the bulb anymore, but you can still see its light! It’s like that!”

“So the bulb would be a person’s soul and the...” Oh, frick. How does he say this in Japanese?

Undeterred, Dark Magician Girl nods proudly. “Your actual soul is obscured by your physical body but we can still ‘see’ its essence - that is aura.”

Okay, that makes enough sense that Jesse can understand. He gets the feeling that it isn’t as simple as ‘seeing light around a person’, but he can probably ask Christina for more detail about it later.

“She can always tell what kind of mood you’re in too. I swear it’s almost like she can read your mind sometimes!” Jaden laughs.

“I can’t read your mind.” Jesse jerks to the sound of Christina’s voice, heat rising to his cheeks. The young woman stands waist deep in the water, her hair twisted up into a pile atop her head and one arm crossed over her chest to obscure it from view. Should he be looking right now? The polite thing would be to look away, right? She’s got some nice curves hidden under the baggy uniform... “I’ve just gotten really good at guessing what’s going on in there.” Christina pokes Jaden in the forehead, then sinks into the steam and frothy water on his other side and lets her arm fall away.

“Oh, hey! You did decide to join us!” Jaden beams as if there’s nothing remotely out of place with the situation. Is he that dense, or is Jesse missing a vital piece of information here? “Took ya a few months to be okay around Syrus, and you still haven’t come out around Hassleberry.”

The water ripples as Christina shrugs. “Hassleberry’s harder to read. I think it’s that fossil in his leg. Alters the aura. And Mana abandoned me so...” She stretches her arms, cracking her knuckles before settling against the rocks.

“Mana?” Jesse repeats with confusion, deciding that’s the safest option of the numerous questions he now has. Who has a fossil in their what?

“Me!” Dark Magician Girl giggles. “Like the royal magician of Pharaoh Set’s court!” she bounces in the air.

“It was easier than always calling her Dark Magician Girl.”

That makes about as much sense as it can, so Jesse nods and lets the lull of the toasty water claim him again. ‘Mana’ has wandered off when he looks up again, and Jaden leans comfortably against Christina’s shoulder.

“So I’ve been wonderin’...”

“No,” Christina answers immediately without even looking at Jesse, while Jaden turns a curious glance. In the confused silence that follows, she turns to look at him, the side of her chin bumping against the top of Jaden’s head. “Syrus asked the same thing first year. No, we’re not.” Which is not a terribly compelling argument when the side of her face is leaning against the top of his head, but at least she looked him in the eyes this time.

“Mm.” Jaden shifts against Christina’s shoulder, settling into a more comfortable position. “Geez, why do people keep thinking that?”

I dunno know, maybe cuz...that, Jesse thinks, slightly bewildered by the fact that Jaden finds absolutely nothing odd about his and Christina’s current position. Christina herself looks accustomed to the action, but Jaden appears downright oblivious. “You two seem pretty comfortable with each other,” Jesse says aloud.

“Well, yeah. We’ve known each other for years,” Jaden grins. “We used to take baths together when we were little, and kinda just kept washing each other’s backs ever since.”

The amused snort Christina gives in response tells Jesse there’s definitely a story behind that one. “And your parents were okay with that?”

“They were never home much,” Jaden shrugs and glances off as if in complete disinterest of the topic, but Jesse can see a story there too.

“And it never got awkward?”

Jaden blinks up at him with the absolute most sincere look of confusion Jesse has ever seen on a human being. “No?”

“Jay’s asexual,” Christina sighs as she tips her head back and sinks further into the water. Jaden emits a displeased noise at the shift of his pillow but sits up rather than try to adjust.

“Ah.” That explains a lot, actually. And now is probably a bad time to admit that he doesn’t actually have a preference. He can hear the Crystal Beasts snickering from the changing room. Y’all can just be quiet.

“Probably biromantic though,” Christina adds and Jaden twists to frown at her.

“Bi-what?”

“Romantic. You like to cuddle, Jay, and you don’t really give a crap if that person is a guy or girl.”

This gives Jaden pause. “Nah, so long as they’re comfortable,” he admits but just as quickly turns to frown at her again, “But I still don’t want to kiss them or anything.”

Jesse snickers as Christina shrugs. “What about you?” he asks with a glance to the redhead.

“Straight--” Christina begins as Jaden interrupts with a sly grin, “She likes bishonen.”

“Jaden!” the redhead snaps, water sloshing around her shoulders as she jerks to sit up straight.

“What? You say you’re straight but all the guys you’ve ever liked have been really girly,” Jaden jibes with a teasing grin.

“Bi...shonen?” Jesse repeats the unfamiliar phrase. What kind of boys?

“Girly boys,” Jaden deadpans.

“Pretty boys!”

“Same difference. I bet you even think Lex is pretty,“ Jaden taunts with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“Of course I think she’s pretty! You'd have to be blind not to!” Christina snaps with a pointed glare.

Jaden shrugs, nonpulsed. “Objectively, sure she’s pretty. Still doesn’t mean I’m interested.”

“Says the guy who agreed to be her fiance.”

“Hold on- what?!” Jesse sputters, jerking upright. Did he hear that correctly?!

“Christinaaa! I thought we agreed not to talk about that!”

“What??” Jesse gapes.

Jaden whines, giving his best impersonation of a kicked puppy but Christina has a Cheshire grin plastered across her face. “First year, there was this guy, a second or third year, who was hard core hitting on and harassing Lex. He sees Jay and Lex interacting, gets suuuper jealous, and challenges Jaden to a duel to be Lexi’s fiance. Jaden agrees, no questions asked.”

Jaden groans loudly, face pressed so hard against Christina’s shoulder Jesse wonders how he can even breathe. “It doesn’t count! I didn’t even know what it meant!” His protests fall on uncaring ears as Christina continues to grin wickedly, and he slumps in defeat. “And you’re never gonna let me forget it.”

Christina hums. “Of course I’m not gonna let such prime teasing material go to waste.”

A beat passes, then Jaden jerks back, shoulders rigged and voice tense. “Wait a minute, you don’t...?”

“Who said you were the only one I wouldn’t let forget?” Christina hums and Jaden wails. “Lexi never said no~o.”

Jaden shoves his face in Jesse’s shoulder. “Jesse! Save me! She’s evil!” he wails, and with Christina downright cackling, Jesse finds himself inclined to agree.

“Alright, newbie, what about you?” Christina asks when she finally recomposes herself.

“Me what?” Jesse croaks, still reeling over the revelation from the last few minutes of his life.

“Romantic preference.”

“Ah, I, ah, I don’t really have a preference,” Jesse admits, stumbling over the words as he drags his brain back to the present moment. “I’ve found I care more about someone’s personality than their gender or body type.”

An uncomfortable moment of silence passes. Jaden’s face is still pressed into Jesse’s skin. “Oh, that makes sense,” Christina says, quiet and thoughtful.

The tension drains with a breath of air. Jesse grins. “Re-evaluating a few things?”

Christina shrugs. “What is that called?”

“I don’t know? I don’t know if there is a word for that.” Much less how it would translate into Japanese. He might be able to passably keep up in a conversation but if actually being in Japan has taught Jesse anything, it’s that he’s basically still a beginner.

Christina huffs, obviously dissatisfied with this answer.

“Honestly, I don’t think ya really need a label for it, so long as you understand it. Sure, it’s nice to have a simple way to explain it to others, but it’s not all that important.”

Christina stares at him and Jesse wonders if he said something weird again or screwed up his Japanese or maybe both. That is entirely possible. Then she huffs softly with a grin and Jaden snickers against Jesse’s shoulder. “I knew I liked you.” He twists around and tips his head back to look up at the blunette. “The simple minded must stick together!” He punches the air with a dripping fist before sagging against Jesse laughing.

Christina looks like she can’t decide whether to be amused or exasperated.

An odd chirping noise pulls their attention, and Jaden bolts upright. “Aqua Dolphin! Hey, Aqua Dolphin!” He sloshes away excitedly, leaving Jesse and Christina alone.

“Spazz.” Christina smirks, a fondness in her eyes.

A comfortable silence settles between them, and Jesse remembers he still has questions. Let’s start with something simple. “So you’ve been down here with the others before?”

“A few times, mostly with Syrus.” Christina shrugs. “I’m not as concerned with things like modesty once I get to know a person well enough.” 

“Oh.” Is that a Japanese thing or a her thing? Japan does have a lot of communal bath houses, but aren't most of them separated by gender? Japan does produce a fair chunk of...questionable content. Anime is weird. Red hair tilts in his vision and Jesse realizes he’s been silently pondering this long enough for Christina to give him a concerned look. “Ah, sorry, I’m just...tryin’ to figure out if I should be flattered or not? I mean, we haven’t exactly known each other very long.”

“Yeah, but… I don’t know.” Christina gazes across the hot spring with a distant look. “It feels like we’ve known each other longer.”

Oh-

Something large hits the water with a great splash and sends the resulting wave crashing over both their heads with startled exclamations. “Amber Mammoth...!” Jesse complains loudly but laughs as he shakes water from his now dripping bangs.

“Sorry, Jesse!” Mammoth apologizes as he paddles off. Amethyst sniffs the water before sticking her nose in the air and trotting off. Emerald slips into the spring with a plop, gliding smoothly in another direction.

“This water really does feel great.”

Christina’s shoulders shake with her own amusement as Ruby hops up on Jesse’s shoulder, nuzzles the side of his head, and Jesse has to marvel at the way he can actually feel her fur, not just a disembodied impression of touch. With an exasperated sigh, Christina stands and reaches up to undo her hair, and Jesse should really probably look away like now but he finds his eyes stuck on the exposed skin.

“So much for keeping my hair dry,” the girl mumbles as red locks tumble freely down her back. Then, as if suddenly remembering her surroundings, she looks down at Jesse. Blue eyes meet green and this is the part where most girls in anime scream and hide right? Maybe slap the guy? Nope, she flashes him a sassy grin and places a hand on her hip as she pops it to the side and freaking poses--

“Like what you see?”

Jøss! Jesse tears his eyes away to stare at some very interesting rocks on the opposite side of the hot spring. Not a moment later, he hears the infuriating sound of mad giggles and a loud slosh of water. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels her hair against his arm. “You’re too cute,” she wheezes. “Ra if I could have gotten that kind of reaction out of Jaden...” she descends into giggles against his shoulder again.

“You are so not fair,” he grumbles, glaring at the rock and trying to will away the embarrassing heat in his cheeks.

“You know it.” He can hear the sharpness of her grin as she reaches up to flick his nose.

These people are weird, Jesse decides, but if he had a problem with weird he wouldn’t be here at Duel Academy.

A loud wolf whistle breaks into the dwindling giggles and Christina stiffens even before Jaden’s loud proclamation, “Go for it, you two!”

“Jaden Yuki!!” Christina bellows, leaping from the water as Jaden laughs and scrambles from his perch on the rock to run from his best friend’s wrath. “I’m going to strangle you!”

Jesse snickers. Yup, weird. But he kinda likes it.

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