#Actually it's my muses birthdays today too haha :). No one knows who they are but I gave them the same birthday as me hehe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luvdsc · 3 years

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haha, what if we kissed? (lol jk... unless?)

fact! you’re secretly in love with your best friend, and so is he!

pairing :: zhong chenle x reader genre :: fluff / best friend, buzzfeed worth it au word count :: 5,072 words warnings :: none playlist :: sunny afternoon (red velvet) ⋆ about love (marina) ⋆ all about you (nct u) ⋆ love (x lovers) ⋆ bella notte (f. murray abraham & arturo castro) author’s note :: i literally just finished writing the rest of this in my meetings today and am posting during my lunchbreak, but happy (1 day late) birthday, chenle sweetheart!! ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

“Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Dream: Worth It!”

Chenle shouts loudly from the driver’s seat, waving excitedly at the camera attached to the dashboard as he waits for the traffic light to turn green. You visibly flinch in your spot on the passenger's side, startled by the sudden greeting, and even Jisung jumps in the backseat, almost dropping the camcorder he was fiddling with.

Your best friend continues to give the camera a dazzling smile, paying no attention to your and Jisung’s brief glares. “Today on Worth It, thanks to a fan’s suggestion, we’ll be trying out three different spaghetti dishes at three drastically different price points to find out which one is most worth it at its price!”

“Yes,” you chime in, nodding excitedly at the camera and giving a little wave. “So if you want to see another riveting episode of Chenle and Jisung going on three dates at three drastically different price points while I third wheel again, please stay tuned!”

“Hey!”

Both the boys wildly protest, but you blatantly ignore them, checking your phone quickly before beaming at the camera again. “So here’s our first spaghetti fact! The word ‘spaghetti’ is actually the plural version of spaghetto. Spaghetto comes from the Italian word spago, which means twine or thin string.”

“Wait, that actually makes sense. Spaghetti looks like thin strings,” Chenle says, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Yeah, basically every language makes sense, except for English,” you remark, setting your phone down in your lap before turning to your best friend. “So are you excited for this episode’s dish?”

“Yes! Shout out to Moony for your suggestion,” Chenle calls out, driving forward before making a right. “If anyone else has any suggestions for future videos, please feel free to comment below.”

You start to explain the first restaurant to your viewers. “Our first stop is called Legalize Marinara! It’s a small hole in the wall place in downtown LA, and fresh pasta is made everyday. We’ll be talking to the owner and chef Johnny Suh about the daily process.”

“And cut!” Jisung calls out, and you stop there, pressing the off button to end the recording. Later on, the three of you will have to work on snipping up the recordings to create a smooth transition from there to a shot of Johnny and his restaurant before jumping into your quick interview with him.

You quickly scroll through the questions you had written ahead of time to ask Johnny on your phone, mouthing the words and memorizing them. You were always the one who asked about the history of the restaurant because Chenle wasn’t as good with the more sentimental questions and preferred the light hearted ones about the food specifically, which you didn’t mind. As long as you get to try good food at the end of it, you’re one very happy, very stuffed camper. You are very much looking forward to visiting Legalize Marinara.

“—and that’s how the pasta is freshly made everyday in the morning.” Johnny finishes up, giving the camera a very charismatic smile and a wink. “We also have a special brew of coffee created by my dad, but that’s a story for another episode. I’ll bring out the spaghetti once it’s ready.”

You and Chenle thank him before going over to sit at one of the small metal tables near the entrance. The place had a sort of modern, yet retro feel to it with an eclectic mix of vintage, kitschy furniture adding pops of color here and there to the otherwise simple space with a neutral palette. The name of the restaurant flashes as a neon sign, serving as the main wall decor along with records scattered here and there on the wall as well.

Jisung stands across from the two of you, propping the large camera on his shoulder in preparation. You and Chenle both take a sip of the special coffee drinks Johnny prepared for you each on the house, pleasantly surprised by the crisp, refreshing taste your taste buds are immediately hit with. Johnny appears minutes later, a pretty plate of simple spaghetti and meatballs along with some Parmesan and garnish on top in hand.

“Here’s our most popular dish: spaghetti with meatballs!” he announces, placing the plate in front of you both carefully. “It’s a simple tomato sauce, but it’s made with organic, local ingredients that we get from the farmer’s market every morning. We get the fresh meat from the butcher down the block everyday to make the meatballs and buy the cheese from local sellers as well. We also add the secret spice mixture created by my mom to the meatballs, which gives it a distinct flavor from other restaurants. Please dig in, guys!”

You immediately swirl your fork into the plate of spaghetti. It looks and smells absolutely fantastic, and your mouth is already watering. You cannot believe that this only costs thirteen dollars. This is an absolute steal. You are just about to take a bite when—

“Wait! We didn’t do a ‘cheers’ yet!” Chenle exclaims, sticking out his fork towards you. You clink your fork against his own metal utensil, and he’s finally satisfied, retracting his arm. Finally, you take the much anticipated bite. The flavors absolutely explode in your mouth, and you’re already reaching out to take a second forkful of the delicious masterpiece.

“This is amazing,” you declare, and Chenle nods enthusiastically, spearing a meatball with his fork. Jisung briefly pans the camera over to Johnny, who shows a double thumbs up before doing finger guns and giving an exaggerated wink.

“Here, try this.” Chenle cuts a piece of the meatball and offers it to you. You reach out for it, but he pulls back, smiling widely and eyes sparkling. “Nuh uh, that’s too easy. Say ah, Y/N.”

“I—” Your cheeks grow warmer than ever, and his grin grows broader, wriggling the fork in front of you. Face burning, you move forward and take a bite. You can hear Jisung fake gagging behind the camera and very much would like to flip him the bird, but you are a professional. You’ll get him back for that later. After all, revenge is a dish best served piping hot and spicy, and you have some Carolina reapers leftover from another video that may accidentally find its way into Jisung’s ramen next time.

You and Chenle spend some more time describing the dish in between bites as Johnny pipes in here and there with some well placed dad jokes that has Jisung shaking his head behind the camera. By the end of it, you both are very happy, and you switch places with Jisung who has a chance to try out the pasta himself at last. He silently eats it before tossing a thumbs up at the camera, and you stop the recording there. After thanking Johnny once more before the three of you leave, you all pile into your car and get ready to go to the next stop.

Up next: Penne for your Thoughts.

“Can we stop here?” Jisung pipes up, peering out the window with interest. His eyes scan the surroundings, peering at the empty space and the wide stairs in front of the spiraling columns of a grand building.

You furrow your eyebrows, glancing at your friend in the backseat. “We’re still a couple blocks away from the restaurant though.”

“This looks like a good spot to film a dance,” he muses to himself before sitting up straighter. “Can we take a quick break? We’re still early, and I wanted to film a quick TikTok before the sun sets.”

You look over at Chenle, who shrugs and pulls over. He backs up into an available parking space, parallel parking smoothly, one hand gripping the back of your seat and the other on the steering wheel. “Alright, do your thing, Jisungie.”

Jisung excitedly hops out from the back. You and Chenle follow suit, locking the car behind you. Your friend is busy setting up his collapsible tripod before placing his phone on it and calling over to you, “Hey, can you stand in front, Y/N? I wanna angle this correctly and check the lighting.”

You move in front of his phone, standing several steps in front of the stairs. Jisung fiddles around with his phone for a few moments, switching up some of the settings and zoom functions before straightening up, eyes bright. “Okay, stay there to mark the spot! I’m gonna press the start button to record. Chenle, can I borrow your phone? I need to play the song for the dance.”

Chenle hands him his phone, and the familiar intro to Doja Cat’s “Say So” begins to blast on top volume. Jisung hands it back to its owner and hurriedly moves to stand in front of his own recording phone as you step aside. “I kinda also need you two in my TikTok.”

“Wait, what? I don’t know the dance,” you protest, starting to back out, but Jisung grabs your hand, pulling you into view, as Chenle bounces over with a shrug of his shoulders, never one to shy away from the camera.

“You don’t need to dance. I just need you both to uh, kiss my cheek on, um, both sides when I tap on them both. It should be the fourth time she says ‘say so’ in the song,” he stammers slightly, face turning slightly pink. He avoids making eye contact as you give him a suspicious look, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What? Why?”

“It’s part of the dance! Now get out of the shot please because the chorus is finally coming up again!” He unceremoniously shoves you out of the frame, and Chenle quickly catches you before you faceplant into the ground. You have a few choice words to yell at your friend and are about to furiously march over to him, but Chenle tightens his grip on you. “Let’s just let him finish, and we can go on. You know how he is about dancing.”

“I’m paying Renjun to put another cockroach picture as his lockscreen again,” you huff, frowning at the dancing boy. “Why didn’t you say anything about the whole kissing request anyway?”

“Eh, I’ve done it before. It’s no big deal.” Chenle shrugs, and you start to stutter, brain malfunctioning, “Wait, you did wha—”

“Oh, it’s almost our cue!” Chenle pushes you towards Jisung as he runs behind the camera to the other side, and you find yourself stumbling for a second time before catching yourself. Grumbling to yourself, you catch Chenle’s apologetic expression, and you sigh, shaking your head as you wait on the sidelines for Jisung to do the move.

And there it is.

Jisung points at his cheeks, tapping them on both sides, and you and Chenle jump into the frame. You lean forward, pressing your lips softly against— wait.

Eyes widening, you jump back in shock, mouth popping open, and the same reaction comes from your best friend when you two realize that you just kissed each other. On the lips.

Crouched on the ground, Jisung looks rather smug after quickly dropping down mid-dance and orchestrating the whole incident. He quickly stands up, striding towards the camera and ending the recording, before efficiently packing up the equipment and walking back to the car without another word.

“Did we just—” you splutter, unable to continue your sentence, as your face grows increasingly warm. Chenle refuses to make eye contact with you, the darkening blush spreading across his face like wildfire. The two of you both direct your disbelief at the same target, rushing over to the car which he boredly stands next to, waiting for Chenle to unlock it.

“Jisung!” You both shout his name, and he just stares at you both, a small grin across his face that he struggles to hide. “What?”

“‘What?’ That’s it? What was that?! Why did you do that?” you exclaim, waving your arms around. Chenle is rendered speechless, unable to say anything after the quick outburst of his other best friend’s name.

“I was tired of listening to Che—mmph!” Jisung is abruptly cut off as Chenle throws his hand over his friend’s mouth, effectively interrupting whatever he was about to say. The two of them silently look at each other, maintaining some sort of telepathic stare that’s probably discussed in the universal book of the bro code. You’ve seen Jaemin and Jeno or Renjun and Donghyuck share the same look before and never really understood it. To be honest, it kind of reminds you of that one moment where the main characters of a chick flick gaze into each others’ eyes and then kiss.

The sound of a text notification cuts off your train of thought and breaks the intense stare down going between the two boys, and you check your phone, eyes widening. “Oh my god, we’re going to be late if we don’t go now! Taeyong just texted me to confirm if we’re coming.”

The three of you hurry into the car, buckling up in your seats. Your hand lightly grazes Chenle’s amidst the rush, and you freeze. You look up, heat spreading across your face, as Chenle meets your gaze, turning redder than spaghetti sauce.

“Alright, you can continue this moment at the restaurant,” Jisung says loudly, jolting the two of you out of your stupor. You quickly retract your hand, mumbling a quick apology, and look away, cheeks still growing warmer than ever. Chenle awkwardly clears his throat and starts the car up, driving to your second stop on the map.

Penne for your Thoughts is simply lovely. It reminds you of a place you would see on the shiny cover of Architecture Digest: a hot spot where all those social influencers would take aesthetic snapshots and post to their Instagrams. The restaurant is quaint and spacious: a large area filled with lots of greenery, hanging plants in simple white ceramic pots, white painted brick walls, and wooden tables with soft cushions on each seat. Once you wrap up the interview with Taeyong, you are seated next to an open window with a great view of a pretty koi pond in the back.

“We serve Korean fusion style food here, and our spaghetti has a freshly made tomato sauce that includes chopped kimchi infused in it. We found that using garlic marinated pork belly makes a more flavorful meatball, which we char slightly, paying homage to the wonderful KBBQ samgyeopsal. We also found that a raw egg yolk on top adds a richness to the pasta, which is similar to a bowl of bibimbap. And there’s some grated Parmesan and mozzarella on top.” Taeyong sets the plate of gorgeous spaghetti in front of you and Chenle with a shy smile. “I hope you both enjoy it.”

You don’t know how else to describe the dish, except that it is beautiful (Just like the restaurant owner, like have you seen his face? Lee Taeyong is the true modern day Adonis, but you digress). You swear you saw Chenle wipe a tear from his face out of the corner of your eye. Practically salivating, you impatiently wait for Jisung to take a few close up videos and pictures of the dish before you immediately dig in.

Fork awkwardly hovering in the air, you pause, turning to Chenle. “Uh, cheers?”

His own loaded fork is halfway to his mouth when he halts. “Oh! Right. Yes. Um, cheers, Y/N.”

The two of you stiffly tap your forks against each other before facing forward again and finally taking the much desired bite. The flavors are bursting like fireworks, and if someone told you that you had died and gone to heaven, you would believe them because there’s no other word to explain the taste other than heavenly. Dante had many circles leading to the center of hell. If you are to apply the same concept to heaven, Legalize Marinara would be the first circle you enter once you go past the pearly gates, and Penne for your Thoughts would most definitely be the second.

The clinking of Chenle’s fork against the plate breaks you from your thoughts, and your good mood falters when you remember the incident again. You plaster a quick smile as you begin to describe the dish to the camera. Chenle chimes in with a wide smile of his own that looks a little too forced, but the only one who seems to notice is you.

Once the recording is wrapped up, Chenle drops you off at your apartment building for you to change into a more dressier attire for the last stop. He and Jisung will change at their place before coming back to pick you up for dinner.

Up next: Terrazza San Valentino.

The place is positively breathtaking. It is an upscale restaurant with open seating on a terrace, leading to a beautiful view of the ocean. Wisteria vines and bright flowers weave their way through the twisting low iron fences encompassing the space as they climb the sides of the building. You have the perfect seat to witness the picturesque sunset over the rippling waters. A bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon had been brought out and now rests on the covered table, uncorked and already poured out into two glasses. It very much reminds you of the beautiful restaurants you visited along the Amalfi Coast, specifically Il Capitano in Positano. You only hope that the food here will be just as amazing as the pasta you ordered there.

You just wish your company was a little better. The atmosphere felt more awkward than the time your mom had set you up on a blind date with her coworker’s son. You had to text Chenle for help that time, and he came to your rescue, helping you escape after pretending to be your long lost son. Obviously, your date wasn’t dumb enough to believe that, but he did believe that you were completely off your rockers and immediately took off after that.

Sneaking a glance at your best friend, you sigh when you realize that he refuses to look your way. You carefully tuck the skirt of your wine red dress under your crossed legs. The sweetheart neckline emphasizes the simple gold necklace you have on, and the dress tapers off at your waist, accentuating your figure perfectly. You paired the outfit with a matching lipstick, a simple black clutch, and some elegant black heels with ribbons that loop around your ankles into a pretty bow.

In other words, you look stunning, and Chenle’s palms are growing sweaty. He undos the first few buttons of his white dress shirt, desperately wanting to take off his tailored suit jacket, but his attire would look much too casual without it. He avoids eye contact with you and remains silent, growing even more flustered by the second, and looks at Jisung helplessly.

Of course, his other best friend proves to be useless again (Disappointing, but not surprising). Jisung simply wriggles his eyebrows at him, eyes darting from you to Chenle, before zooming into his face at a very unflattering angle. Chenle throws him a dirty look, and Jisung merely sticks out his tongue in response. However, they immediately smoothen their expressions into much more pleasant ones when Jaehyun comes out with the plate of food on a small cart.

“This is our play on spaghetti.” He gives you a dimpled smile, and you briefly wonder if the customers rave about this restaurant because of the food or the chef. Perhaps it is a combination of both.

He continued to explain the dish, setting it down in front of you and Chenle. “We use strangozzi that is made fresh every morning. We infuse sun dried tomatoes that we dried ourselves into the olive oil for a minimum of thirty days. The pasta is cooked for sixty seconds, while we slightly sauté grated truffle in the oil in a pan. Once the pasta is ready, we transfer it to the truffle pan and cook it for another minute, making sure to coat the pasta in the sauce. And then we grate some Parmesan and truffles right on top at the table.”

Jaehyun pulls out the expensive mushroom, generously grating thin slices on top of the glistening strands of pasta. The smell is incredible, and your eyes are already hyper fixated on the dish in front of you. He puts down the mushroom and grater, picking up the second grater and the cheese from the cart before shredding the cheese perfectly.

When he finishes, Jaehyun places them back on the cart and smiles at you both charmingly once more. “I hope you enjoy your meal. If you need anything else, please feel free to ask.”

You thank him before he leaves, and Jisung takes all the necessary shots before giving the okay to start eating. You and Chenle offer up some comments about the elegance of the dish, describing its appearance and finally twirling some on the end of your fork. You murmur a quiet “cheers” as the two of you clink your glasses of wine together and take a sip before having the first bite.

The amount of money you have to pay to have a truffle dish is absolutely worth it. The taste is simply indescribable, and you truly have no words. You are blown away by the amount of flavor that can be created with just a few ingredients, and your taste buds are singing. Wide eyed, you turn to look at Chenle, who has the same astonished expression on his face, already staring back at you in complete surprise.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out, and your best friend agrees with you. “Holy shit indeed.”

You immediately go for another bite, and Chenle quickly follows suit. “This is— this is incredible. I don’t know how to describe it, except, except, wow. I can’t stop eating it, and the sun dried tomatoes, olive oil, fresh pasta al dente, and truffles just work so well together. It’s like a symphony in my mouth.”

“I agree,” Chenle nods enthusiastically, swiping another forkful of the yummy goodness. “This has to be one of the best dishes of the entire season.”

“Yeah, absolutely.” You spear a slice of the truffle with the pasta, and the ensuing bite is simply perfect and delectable. “I would come back here every single week if my bank account would let me.”

The stifled atmosphere between the two of you suddenly becomes relaxed at that point, the thick tension dissipating with food never failing to act as the perfect ice breaker and buffer simultaneously. For now, you can pretend the kiss didn’t happen and almost forget it (key word: almost).

“There’s a very popular fan suggestion,” Jisung pipes up, looking at the comment section of the previous video where you and Chenle announced your current recording’s star dish. “It got over twenty thousand likes and five hundred responses.”

“What is it?” You pause in eating, fork poised in the air, as you look over to your friend behind the camera. Chenle pays no attention, continuing to take another bite.

“Recreate the Lady and the Tramp moment.”

Your jaw drops, and your eyes grow round. Practically scandalized, your voice goes an octave higher. “You mean the kissing scene?!”

At the mention of kissing, Chenle chokes on a noodle, spluttering and nearly hacking up a lung, and you quickly reach over and firmly pat him on the back repeatedly until he stops coughing with a weak “thanks.”

“What? This is a food show! Why do they want us to kiss?” your best friend wheezes, and you pass him a glass of water. He grabs it from your outstretched hand gratefully and takes a large gulp.

“I don’t know, fan service? Anyway, it’s good for the views!” Jisung gives you a thumbs up, and you frown at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Why don’t you do it with Chenle then?”

“It specifically says you and Chenle,” he informs smugly with a smirk, and you glower at him, much to his amusement.

“Well, if it’s for the fans…” Chenle trails off, a faint blush beginning to make its appearance on his face. He hesitantly pulls out one strand of the pasta, picking up one end on his fork.

You can’t believe this. Yet, you slowly reach out for the other end of the strand with your fork, twirling it onto the metal prongs securely. You move to take your end of the noodle, while Chenle does the same, both of you actively avoiding eye contact.

“Oh c’mon, at least make it a little more romantic than that. Jeno and Jaemin have more chemistry than you two right now,” Jisung complains, and you would very much like to chuck the half full bottle of wine at his big, annoying head (Chenle also has similar thoughts).

Taking a deep breath, you finally place the noodle’s end in your mouth. Cheeks burning, you can feel your heart rate already skyrocketing at the mere thought of kissing your best friend again. You know you’ll freeze up if you look at him, so you do your best to focus your gaze on the center of the noodle strand. You’ll have some time before the two of you meet in the middle, right?

Wrong.

It comes much too soon, and your palms are growing sweaty as your heart races in your chest at a breakneck speed. Your lips are mere millimeters away from his, and you pause. You can’t hear anything, but the pounding of your heart and the blood rushing to your cheeks, and you finally find the courage to peek up at your best friend. You find him already gazing at you, a soft expression on his face. His eyes dart down to your lips before meeting your eyes once more, and you suddenly realize that he’s waiting for you, that he won’t do anything unless you want it too, that it’s okay if you don’t.

But you do.

So you muster up all the courage you possibly can and close the distance, carefully pressing your lips against his for a tender kiss before biting off the noodle. When you pull back, you finally notice the awestruck expression written all over Chenle’s face. He lets out a small laugh of disbelief before he positively beams, bouncing in his seat, and you sport a matching smile, albeit a little bashful.

“Uh, anyway, who left that comment? We should probably give them a mention,” you say, clearing your throat and hoping the heat subsides in your cheeks soon. Chenle continues to grin like the Cheshire Cat and secretly grabs your hand underneath the tablecloth, intertwining your fingers with his. You can feel your face exponentially growing warm once again, but you still send a pleased smile to your best friend.

“Uh…” Jisung awkwardly laughs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “‘Insert goofy’s chuckle.’”

At Jisung’s answer, you freeze up entirely in your position before immediately turning and locking eyes with Chenle in complete horror, the both of you instantly coming to the same, dreadful realization.

“HYUCK?!”

One new notification: Dream: Worth It uploaded a new video!

insert goofy’s chuckle commented:

oh my god you guys actually did it. your relationship started all thanks to ME 🙆🏻 you’re welcome btw 😘 I take payment in the form of your first born’s name

notanimpasta replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle ok calm down rumpelstiltskin

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta what a perfect nickname for him. He’s an ugly little greedy man

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ jisung pwark LMAOOOO (and congrats, chenle and y/n!)

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ jisung pwark what tf no one asked???

notanimpasta replied: @ jisung pwark wait hold on you were supposed to edit that end part out????

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta i left it for the views ☺️

big head king replied: @ jisung pwark people watch for the food tho!!! 🙂

nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ replied: @ big head king I watched it for the kiss. Love is so beautiful 🥰💓💞🥺🥺💕💛💟✨💖

jenojam replied: @ big head king I had watched it for the food! but congratulations, y/n and chenle :)

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ big head king i watched it because ron jeon said you mentioned me

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle IT’S RENJUN!!!!!! 🤬🤬

mork lee rawr xD replied: hahaha I watch for the food~

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ mork lee rawr xD Thank you Mark, very cool!

winwin in past tense is wonwon!!! commented:

whoop whoop congrats lele 🥳🥳

rapperpunzel commented:

the pasta looks good 🍝

johnny’s communication center commented:

Thanks for stopping by! Come back for the couple’s special discount anytime 😉

baa baa yang sheep commented:

oh my god finally!!!

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ baa baa yang sheep you owe me $50 I was right, it happened before the season finale

baa baa yang sheep replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck suddenly i’m jared, 19

xiao dejasmine commented:

hahahaha cute ! 😁😁

ty track commented:

Thank you y/n and chenle for visiting ~~ congrats on your relationship !!! -TY

junguwu (◕‿◕✿) commented:

YAAAAAS CHENLE SWEETIE 😘😘😘

jisung pwark commented:

check out my latest tiktok video @ jisungpwark to see their actual first kiss!!! and don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe ☺️

notanimpasta replied: @ jisung pwark STOP USING US AS CLICKBAIT

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta no ❤️

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta also red is sus

big head king replied: @ jisung pwark so when are you gonna do the best friend kissing challenge huh 👀

jisung pwark replied: @ big head king SHUT UP CHENLE

honeyfairy replied: @ jisung pwark 😳😳

gu ren gui god commented:

wow~ very cute, chenle! my angel 😊

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE commented:

YOOOOO CONGRATS, MAN 🤩🤪🤪

prince jae commented:

thank you guys for coming by! please stop by next year on your anniversary free of charge (:

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ prince jae omg mark and I will be there for sure ❤️

showmethemonet replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle my new boyfriend and I will be there too ☺️

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ showmethemonet I’m sorry, I was wrong, pls don’t leave me for bts jin even though i am so much more handsomer and talented than him 😌

apado gwenchana god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻

1K notes · View notes

seijoh-apologist · 3 years

Text

stupidly in like with you | miya atsumu

pairing: post-timeskip!miya atsumu x f!reader word count: 14.6k (OOPS LMFAO) genre: friends to lovers, fluff, hurt(?)/comfort, and like a few too many pages of fluffy smut -- third person pov for the most part. NSFW. synopsis: Atsumu and Y/N are good friends, maybe feelings are involved but Y/N isn’t his type. OR Y/N and Atsumu are most definitely in like with each other but for whatever reason aren’t dating.

A/N: hi so this is my first “published” hq fic but like here is this thought that I had and haven’t been able to get it out of my head. it’s mostly edited thanks to my irl friend but bare with my run on sentences and (slightly excessive) use of profanity. any feedback would be appreciated b/c I have more thoughts for other characters and I'd love to share haha.

To say Y/N was annoyed was an understatement.

Aching feet begged for relief, the sweat-soaked shirt, though cute, had begun to cling to that one fold in her side that made her the slightest bit hyper aware of the “stress weight” she swears she's put on during the holiday season. And the music was absolute shit, shuffling between mash-ups of the Top 100 trending songs and some weird EDM-Indie music that she would pay good money to never hear again.

To put it plainly, she was not in the mood to be out of her home, much less celebrate. But she had agreed to come out, never being able to say no to Sakusa, who silently pleaded with his eyes to take on “babysitting” responsibilities of his teammates for tonight. He had paid for her dinner several times before tonight, claiming that she should save her money - “you should spend your money on getting a better mattress, so we don’t have to hear you complain about it anymore.” - the least she could do was give him a night to himself, away from the chaos that was the rest of the MSBY team.

Besides, it's not like she was asked to stalk them or anything - they were friends after all, so really it was just like she was tagging along for a night of club hopping, taking shots that she didn’t have to pay for, and simply people watching in between trips to the dancefloor. And normally, she’d be enjoying the night - it's just that of all nights to come out and celebrate, it had to be at the end of one of the most stress-inducing, aggravating weeks of her young adult life.

Checking that it was well after one in the morning, she sipped water from her straw, swivelling to face the crowd from her (stolen) seat at the bar, in hopes of catching the attention of someone in her party that could get the hint that they should probably get ready to go. What she did not expect to find, however, was Atsumu, flitting his eyes away from her figure as he leaned down to talk to a pair of girls. It could just be a friendly gesture, asking him if he was who they think he was and him responding but it sent a less than pleasant feeling in her stomach, so she swiveled back, reaching for her phone in the back pocket of her suddenly too tight pants.

“Fuck me,” she huffs out upon seeing that her phone battery has fallen to thirty percent, which would be just delightful when it would be time to call the ubers home. She could now rule out aimlessly scrolling through Twitter for the rest of the night while waiting for her friends.

“Uh.. maybe slip in a ‘please’ and I’m yours.”

Y/N’s eyes all but bugged out her head at the response that came from her left. The voice belongs to a guy, a very cute guy. The kind of cute guy that you see on Instagram explore page before it refreshes so the chances of seeing him again are nonexistent.She sputters out a delayed apology, double-time since she realized that she’s now taken a little too long to respond to him, to which he laughs and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about it. I should be apologizing for interrupting you, it's just.... You looked a little lonely over here. Mind if I sit with you?”

“Seat’s all yours... but you’re on your own if those people from before come back to reclaim them.” She hums, sliding her phone back into her pocket and shifting her legs slightly in the direction of his seat.

“Scared of a little fight?” He hums, arching a brow before taking a swig of his beer. He has nice hands. Y/N muses to herself as she watches the stranger’s fingers flex slightly around the neck of his beer bottle. She’s always of the mind that a person’s hands say a lot about them.

“Mmm no… just too tired to defend myself, much less a random stranger.” He laughs at that, nodding his head before replying that “most pretty girls don’t openly say they can fight.”

“Oh you’re cheesy, aren’t you? Nobody straight up tells a girl they’re pretty for no real reason.”

“Actually,” Shifting his beer bottle onto the bar, he holds out his hand to her. “My name is not cheesy, it’s -”

“Y/N! There you are!”

The call of her name makes her jump slightly, before she feels the familiar warmth of a hand on her back. The same hand worms its way to her hip, fingers slipping into that soft fold just above her pants, the warmth of his next words being felt just above her ear. “Where the hell’ve ya been? Was lookin’ all over the place for ya, Bo and Shoyo were worried ya left without us!”

“Been right here, idiot. We lost our original seats so I’d figure you’d come to the bar at some point and I could’ve waved you down.” She shifts slightly, turning her shoulder back towards the cute stranger with an apologetic look in her eye, to which he smiles and opens his mouth to respond until Atsumu cuts him off again, his hand gripping the back of her neck to make her give him her total attention.

“Right well I’m starving - let's get outta here. Kinda craving your infamous drunk noodles, or maybe a McDonald’s on the way home, yeah?”

Y/N nods slightly, turning back towards the stranger to see that he’s already slinking back into the crowd. Once she fully loses him, she shoves her elbow into the blonde’s side, telling him to “shut it” when he throws out a huff of pain.

“Thank you, ‘Tsumu… could’ve had a different ride home but nooooo.. Needed to come in here with all your glory talking about you being starving despite the fact that you can afford a personal chef.” She huffs out and slides off her stool, but he’s not listening. Instead he’s holding her by the shoulders and pushing her through the crowd, excusing the two of them as she continues to rant and rave at him. Once outside, the pair are joined with the rest of the party, who have called a few separate ubers home. “And to top it off, I know you’re not even listening right now - you never listen to me, Miya. I don’t know how your teammates put up with you… how do you put up with this shit, hmm?”

The group of teammates laugh softly and shake their heads, giving answers that “they get paid” to put up with him, and that Miya Atsumu is actually “a decent friend,” a fact that she knows is true but chooses to ignore when convenient for her. Atsumu just shakes his head with a roll of his eyes, pulling her into the direction of their uber for their journey back to his place. She greets the driver and settles into her seat, as Atsumu calls out behind him something or other to someone. The slam of the door and clicking of seatbelts is what fills the silence in the car, music softly playing from the rear speakers, as Atsumu leans his head back against the headrest.

“So I take it yer coming to stay with me for tonight?”

“Hmm.. don’t have much of a choice now, do I?” She teases to which Atsumu slightly pouts, reaching to knuckle at his eyes that suddenly feel a little too heavy. “You owe me the biggest breakfast fathomable tomorrow.”

“Why’s it that I owe you when I paid for your dinner before going out, paid for your drinks tonight, and am letting you sleep in my bed - which is infinitely better than your cheap ass - hey!” He begins his ranting, which would be cut off by a sturdy flick to the forehead and a slight “hush” before he feels her head rest up on his shoulder.

Y/N and Atsumu had been friends for a little while, when she chased him down the middle of the road, claiming to the public that he was a thief, just because he’d grabbed the wrong umbrella on the way out of the restaurant they were both eating in. He’d tried to apologize, but she traded umbrellas and walked back towards the direction of the restaurant. He had chalked it up to nothing really, just a slight mistake and minor inconvenience for the girl. At least until a certain teammate’s birthday dinner, where said stranger was- only this time sitting and chatting with Sakusa Kiyoomi as if they’d been best friends for forever (which in all fairness, Y/N and Kiyoomi had only been friends since college, where they were forced into a friendship by their roommates, who were hooking up with each other and forced the two on double dates). This second meeting was a sign to Atsumu, a sign that for whatever reason this girl was supposed to be in his life, in some capacity or another - but he did royally fuck it up a second time by trying to flirt with Y/N, who laughed and asked if his opening line was really the best he’d had, before hitting him with an opening line that still makes him flush when he thinks about it today.

The ride to Atsumu’s home isn’t long, but it's long enough for the tiredness to seep into Y/N’s bones, who barely misses the quiet way that Atsumu’s fingers have taken home at the base of her neck, massaging gently at the tenseness he feels under the pads of his fingers.

“Someone’s tired… why didn’t you stay home?” He asks as they turn onto his street, letting his fingers fall away from her as he begins to check that they have everything they need. ”’t’s a good thing yer sleeping over at mine... and no couch for you. Your neck is all kinds of tense. It's a miracle you haven’t complained ‘bout it once tonight.”

“Shh.. you’re so loud for what?” She mumbles while trying to stifle a yawn. “So if I’m not supposed to sleep on the couch then where am I supposed to sleep then, boy genius? The floor?”

“No,” Atsumu answers seriously, brow slightly wrinkled as he reaches for his keys in his pocket. “You’ll sleep with me. In my bed. ‘t’s a cooling mattress so you won’t haffta complain that yer too hot.”

“Miya, last time I slept in a bed with you, you nearly suffocated me. Dunno if I really wanna have to deal with trying to roll you onto your back again.”

“Wait a minute! To be fair, my bed was smaller then so there was less room for the both of us.” He begins, opening the door and shutting it before turning the two of them towards the entrance to his apartment building. “Second of all, it was my first time sharing a bed with someone other than ‘Samu so ya shouldn’t blame me for not having proper sleep manners.”

The first steps into Atsumu’s home consists of the pair kicking off their shoes, debating lightly on who was gonna take over the shower first. Y/N slides her feet into the slippers that are specifically her slippers in his home and slinks off towards the kitchen, as Atsumu peels off his shirt and heads towards the shower. It feels comfortable, almost like a routine, as Y/N gathers eggs and two noodle packets to make them a small meal before bed. Moments later, Atsumu is coming out of the shower, towelling off his hair before settling onto the sofa, clicking on the T.V. as Y/N comes in with the two bowls of noodles. A silent agreement is met when they finish that Atsumu would wash the dishes as Y/N showered, taking a shirt from his drawers to sleep in

She hands him a bottle of aspirin, mumbling around the toothbrush to “take two or so help me.” Moments later she joins him in bed, slipping on a pair of socks that are two sizes too big for her before settling under the plush fabric of his comforter. He shifts over closer to her after tossing his phone on the nightstand, seeking out her form in the now dim room for a small cuddle before dozing off. She willingly accepts him too, sliding her body just under his and buries her face in his skin, still warm from the too-hot shower he is prone to taking in the name of muscle relaxation. He hums slightly as their feet tangle together, silently appreciating the way Y/N so freely indulges his need to touch someone after being touch-starved for so long.

Though Y/N isn’t much like him in that sense - doesn’t have this inherent need to cling to someone before bed, or just hold hands at a store, or hands on the shoulder in a crowded room. Sometimes she will, like now with her nose buried in his neck and her hand rubbing up and down the length of his sturdy back. Normally they won’t do this, both just a little too headstrong to dig into the tightening in their chests when the hug for a moment longer than usual; but tonight Y/N is silently congratulating him on winning the game that has had him stressed for weeks. She feels his lips press softly to the top of her head, a mumble of “good night” leaving his lips as she feels his breaths even out as the moments pass.

This is where Y/N wishes she had the power to pull away - blames moments like this on giving her the slightest bit of hope that they could be more than friends.

It's not that she hadn’t thought about it - frankly she’d spent too much time thinking about it. She could do this… with him.. But every thought is put to bed when she thinks back on this one conversation months ago. Granted she didn’t have the full context of the conversation but it's enough to make her heart squeeze when she sees Atsumu flirt with someone, or shake off his hand when she’s had a particularly sensitive day.

It was just another evening where hanging out after him and the rest of the team being away for a week. They’d ordered in food and drinks had been flowing nicely as the comfortable pair had caught up - it was honestly too homey of a setting in hindsight. His phone rang, the white text of “‘Samu” flashed and Y/N took that as a cue to finally get to the restroom.

“Mhm.. made it back early today - no Y/N picked me up.” He’d been mumbling around a handful of chips, the other side of the conversation mute to Y/N’s eavesdropping.. “Oh shut up, she doesn’t mind and it's not as if we’re dating anyway. It’s.. casual and it works for us.”

And she should’ve stepped into her place next to him, cuddled up into her chest and played the role of the blissfully ignorant idiot. But no, she stayed tucked behind the restroom door, blood pumping and heart beating too loud in her ears. It would seem as though Y/N was a glutton for punishment, a minor thing when thinking about putting herself through a moment of pain for a lifetime of pleasure - but the pain that came with Miya Atsumu’s next words would set her off kilter for a while.

“Besides, she’s not really my type. It’d never work out anyway.”

She had no choice really other than to shut the door. Take some extra time in the restroom than necessary - after all she’d just hear the potential love of her life admit to his twin brother that she wasn’t his type. All she could do really was stare at herself in the stupidly bright mirror in his stupid guest bathroom of his stupidly expensive apartment. God this is so stupid, she thinks to herself while running cold water to press against her cheeks that she feels are heated up. Before she can really tear her own heart to bits though, she hears a quick rapt on the door.

“Y/N ya’right in there? Warned y’bout putting too much hot sauce on your food.”

But that’d been two years ago. It was a little rough after that; Y/N had thrown herself into finding a life post-grad which was a great distraction from the rumors going around that Atsumu had been spotted with some model or actress or something. Besides, Y/N wasn’t really the type to harp on failed romantic interests - all she’d need to do is download whatever relevant dating app for some validation and she’d be able to move on. However nights like tonight, when he looked too good and the little moment was a little too right - she’d still hope. Make a wish to whatever angle number or shooting star or deity above that she’d get tossed a chance to be in love with the stupid setter, because she had already fallen.

“Mm y’right?” She heard him, how could she not when he’s practically suffocating her. She chooses not to answer though, humming affirmatively - to which he huffs and shifts slightly, settling back into unconsciousness.

Maybe she’d blame the train of thoughts for tonight on the fact that she’d been drinking. However, come morning, the seed would bloom a little brighter in her chest when she wakes up to realize that her face is pressed into his side, arms circling his slim waist and one sock lost among their tangled legs.

---

God she hated him. Miya Atsumu was too much of a lot of things - too much of a sore winner, too much of an idiot, too much of a talker, and most of all, too much of a liar.

For the second time in the span of a month, Atsumu had convinced her to come out, despite her desperately wanting to curl up in bed and binge eat away the stress of the week. Only this time it was a charity event, so she would definitely be the bad guy if she said no. It was an event where him and the rest of his team had been roped into a charity dinner - which (gratefully) meant that Sakusa would be around, and they could fuck off to a corner someplace to talk shit about what all the rich wives are wearing and how bad it looks when their husbands are flirting with the wait staff. But Atsumu had promised that they’d leave before the entree was served - swore the entire drive over that “we’ll get you back home in time, grandma” and that he’d even cook for her this time.

But the entree had been whisked off about forty minutes ago, her wine glass had been refilled twice, and she was bored of watching Sakusa look at his watch, waiting for an appropriate time to leave. Atsumu was a few tables away, chatting up some couple, something about wanting to get their information for Osamu’s business. He would laugh a little too loudly at their jokes, gaining attention of those at surrounding tables - which was only mildly irritating as he had now gathered a crowd of people around him, spewing off some story about him getting lost in Russia the first time they played overseas.

She huffs and stands up, chair scraping slightly, gaining the attention of the rest of the table. All she does is hold up her wine glass in a feeble attempt at an answer of where she’d be waiting at the bar. If I have to be here, the least I could do is drink for free. The bar is empty, surprisingly no one wants to mope around this very nice dinner.

“What can I get you?”

“Mmm.. whiskey highball, please.” She answers to the unnecessarily cute bartender, but the raise of his eyebrows do not go unnoticed. And fortunately (or unfortunately) she’s got the time to press him. “Surprised?”

“Only a little bit. Noticed you were drinking wine most of the night so the whiskey is a hard switch.”

“So you’ve been watching me?” She muses, smiling as he places the drink in front of her. He smiles and leans forward on the bar slightly, shaking his head and replying.

“It’s almost as if… I’m being paid to make sure people have their drinks.”

“Oh, so it's not because I’m cute?”

“Now I didn’t say that did I? But you know you’re gorgeous; your boyfriend over there must tell you all the time.” He muses, a smirk playing at his lips as he nods behind her. She all but chokes on her drink when she turns around and sees that the direction he nodded in was directly in Atsumu’s vicinity before shaking her head violently. Atsumu was not going to ruin this for her. “Oh so not your boyfriend?”

“Nope.” She says, popping the ‘p’ as she slips the straw past her lips again, eyes taking in his leaning form. He was cute. His hair was on the silver side of blond, tips of his hair black. He was tall and lean, a piercing hanging from his left ear.

“That’s a shame.” And she gives him her name with a flutter of her lashes and a sweet smile. He returns it, preparing her next drink without her even having to ask. And so they talk, first about how the next person who approaches the bar should be cut off, to how pretentious the whole event was. Two drinks in, Y/N finds herself being invited to a show.

“This whole bartending thing is just a way for me to get some extra cash… I’ve got a gig in an hour. I figured if we leave together now, I can get you home to change outta this and into something a little more… concert fitting?”

“O-Oh.. yeah. I just need to go let my friend know…” She trails off, sliding off her barstool before turning to gracefully power walking to her initial seat next to Sakusa. She huffs and she plots herself down in the char next to him, to which he gives her a look of what the fuck. “I don’t have time to catch you up, but the insanely hot bartender is taking me home. As much as I’d love to get out of here with you, I desperately need to get lai-”

“Going somewhere?” Fuck fuck fuck.

“Didn’t you hear her? The hot bartender is taking her home and she needs -”

“Aishhhh shut up.” She turns to look at her curly haired friend, only to see that he’s got this annoying little smile on his face. She deeply exhales and turns back to Atsumu, who looks less than amused about what his friend said. “Listen, you promised me we’d leave two hours ago. Well you lied so nooow I made plans, so if you would kindly move outta my way.”

“No.” She whips her head up at the blonde. No? What the absolute fuck was he going on about telling her no, despite her not asking for his permission. “You’ve been drinking and you don’t even know the guy - how can you trust that he won’t memorize your address then come rob you or something? I promised to take you home, and since you’re ready now we can leave now.”

“Listen Miya, I appreciate the concern but really I’m a big girl. I can handle a night out by myself with a guy - besides I’m not even that drunk. Now, give me my house keys and move out of my way.”

Suddenly, it's like those cheesy western movies where two cowboys are staring each other down, neither willing to be put down by the other. Except it's this 6’2” pro-athlete staring quite literally down at Y/N, who hits the gym only on a blue moon and spends too much time sitting at a desk. Sakusa has to laugh at the two stubborn idiots in front of him; he knows that Atsumu is going to be able to win this little game that they're playing, but silently applauds Y/N for attempting to stick it to him. Moments pass before Atsumu finally sighs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his expensive suit and pulling out her keys - but he doesn’t give them to her.

“What’s his name? If you can tell me his name I’ll give you your keys and let you go.”

“Let me go? Okay, Dad.” She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest, small clutch dangling from her wrist. “I know his name, Atsumu. I may have had a drink or two but I’m not an idiot to be going off with someone who’s name I don’t even know... it’s… uhm.” And she’s done. She hadn’t even bothered to ask his name, doesn’t even remember whether she gave him hers, nor was she smart enough to notice whether he’d been wearing a name tag. Mentally she’s cursing herself, chancing a glance behind Atsumu’s shoulder to see the hot bartender chatting it up with another girl. Before she can think too much into it, Atsumu sighs deeply, grabbing his suit jacket off the chair next to her and slipping it on his shoulders, a soft “let’s go” leaving his lips as he nods his good-bye to the rest of the table. Y/N chews at the inside of her cheek before grabbing his arm.

“Give me my keys. I’m not going home with you. I want to be alone.”

---

Four days passed - four days of Atsumu borderline harassing Y/N with apologies. Promising to make it up to her. Which is how she finds herself walking into their favorite local sushi restaurant - it's the only one that has self-serving sushi that arrives on a miniature train, and it's also the only place that they go when apologies are to be exchanged. In the handful of years that they’d be friends, Y/N has needed to apologize to Atsumu thrice - two for blowing him off after overhearing the dreaded words and once for saying that maybe Osamu was the better twin. Atsumu on the other hand, had apologized to Y/N many times - so many times in fact that Y/N is sure that he makes up excuses just so they can come eat at this sushi place.

It’s been a long week for Y/N. The Sunday after the charity event, Y/N wakes up with one of the worst headaches of her life - and its due to the fact that she slept like shit hoping that Atsumu made it home safe since he hadn’t texted her he did. Monday she was handed a stack of documents at work that needed to get done before lunch (which didn’t get done). Tuesday morning was dominated by the fact that some idiot on the train to work had spilt a coffee on her, making her wear the most uncomfortable suit jacket, lest she wear a coffee soaked shirt for most of the day. Today, Wednesday, she’d woken up to a box with a pastry outside her door and a cup of coffee with a sticky note on the lid.

Sorry. Let me make it up to you. Train Sushi? 7pm?

Despite the fact that she was most definitely still thinking about why Atsumu acted the way he did - she still went through the mountain of paperwork on her desk with a little smile, knowing that she’d be getting free sushi and an apology. Maybe if she’s lucky, she can convince him that she needs a crepe on the way home.

As she makes her way into the restaurant that evening, she sees him. His dorito-shaped body is stationed at the bar, a cozy brown coat hugging his back, muscles of his arms being squeezed by the sleeves. She can see that he’s got a drink in front of him and she smiles slightly, stepping up towards the bar but stops momentarily. He’s talking to someone - not just someone, a girl. He’s smiling too. Y/N can’t see the stranger’s face, but judging by the way that she has a hand around his biceps and her head tilted, one can only assume that they know each other. Y/N attempts to step backwards, she wants to let him finish his conversation with the woman but she doesn’t know if she can stomach the idea of watching them flirt; but she misses the step, leading her to bump into the hostess who led her to the bar, creating a bit of a scene.

“Y/N! There you are! C’mere.”

She’s buying time by profusely apologizing to the hostess, who honestly is probably just trying to get away. At this point, Y/N has no choice but to walk towards her friend and this mystery woman. The ten steps towards the pair is enough time for Y/N to mentally list off all the things she could have done in the world to warrant some shitty karma that’s hitting her now. Once face to face with Atsumu, she smiles.

“Sorry - long day at work got me all …” Y/N’s words trail off, the hand that’s not death-gripping her purse waves off with her closing thoughts.

“Don’t mind, Wednesday’s are usually your long days. ‘Sides you’re here now - tha’s what matters.” God he’s so dumb. So handsome and so dumb, and god did she miss him. “It’s a good thing you got here a little late, this is Michimiya Yui. I think you two might’ve -”

“No, I don’t think we’ve met! It’s so nice to meet you - he used to talk about you all the time!” The brunette smiles at Y/N, sticking her hand out, which Y/N takes limply, shaking her hand. She’s pretty, Y/N thinks to herself. Her hair is short and she’s wearing some cute leather thigh high boots, her smile is almost paid-for perfect. She’s got this whole brown smoked out eyeliner working for her, which makes Y/N slightly subconscious about her most likely smudged and uneven eyeliner and less-than appealing work pants. Before Y/N can even think of a response to give, Michimiya has her hand back on Atsumu, a pretty smile settling on her lips. It feels like Y/N is watching a trainwreck happening before her eyes. “I was just telling Atsumu that I was back in town and that we should hang out!”

“And I was just explaining to her that I had plans with yo-”

“You should join us!” Idiot. Why am I such a fucking idiot? Atsumu looks over at Y/N with a wild look in his eyes, Michimiya looks like a child who wound up making out with two candies instead of one. “I had a super long day at work today so I’m really only able to eat dinner, but I know Atsumu can stay up for hours so once I leave you two can hang out.”

“Y/N, I thought that -”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea! I just need to tell the wait staff to cancel my to-go order, so excuse me.”

And so the two friends watch the woman walk away from them, making her way towards the to-go order area. Y/N bites at the inside of her cheek, intentionally avoiding Atsumu’s eyes that she feels are pinned on her. She digs out her phone from her purse, texting Sakusa an ominous “next time you see me, please poison me 😑.” As Y/N drags her eyes up Atsumu’s front, she feels the same way she did when she would get scolded by her parents. His eyes are staring at her face, no doubt wanting to press her about why she willingly invited a stranger to eat with them at their restaurant. To pacify him, all she does is hold up her hand, shaking her head.

“It’s fine, Miya. Like you said, Wednesday’s are my long days so I wouldn’t be able to stay out late with you anyway. Besides…” She starts, fixing a smile onto her face. “I think that she might have a little crush on you!” He says nothing, lips pressed in a hard line and a brow arched up at her. “Don’t look at me like that. And save your apology for next time… we have company.”

The rest of the evening goes exactly like Y/N’s worst nightmare. She is quite literally the third-wheel despite the fact that technically Michimiya was supposed to be the third wheel in this little scenario. Y/N has to watch the pretty brunette flirt relentlessly with Atsumu, who seems blissfully oblivious to the fact that for every compliment Michimiya gives Y/N, she gives herself two more. Sakusa is well informed on the situation, receiving texts every five minutes with another dumb thing that was said in front of Y/N’s appatizers. Rarely does someone ever wish for a natural disaster to hit, but in the last thirty minutes of sitting at this table, Y/N has wished for every biblical curse to wreak havoc in her way.

Despite the fact that Michimiya has hijacked every conversation, Atsumu still tries to ask Y/N about her, including her in the conversation as much as possible. But Y/N stopped trying twenty minutes ago, and is now forcing herself to eat the last few pieces of sushi she ordered - normally she’s a stress eater, but Michimiya has rested her hand on Atsumu’s thigh and Y/N has suddenly never felt more sick in her life. Y/N has never once picked up a tab around Atsumu - “please, ‘ve got more money than I know whatta do wit’it” he’d always tell her when she attempted to take up the ticket - but when they finally wave down someone and ask for the check, Y/N drops some cash on the table and collects her things.

“It’s been so nice to meet you, but I think I should really get going. I’ve gotta get to work early tomorrow - I’ll see you this weekend right, Miya?”

“Wait up, I’ll take you home… Yui it’s been really -”

“No no, really it's okay! You stay! I’ll just text you when I get home. Be safe. And again it was so nice to meet you - take care of Atsumu for me.”

“Oh I will!”

Y/N is not a runner but she’s never sprinted away from a situation so fast in her life. The image of Michimiya’s sly little smile at Y/N’s request to take care of her friend makes her feel gross, tears stinging at the back of her eyes and she settles on the train. Y/N can name a handful of times when she’d seen Atsumu around women - but never once had she’d met someone he was romantically involved with and it hurts. The gentle sway of the train does nothing to settle the spinning of her head with images of what Atsumu actually looks for - his actual type. She feels like an idiot; she should have just told Atsumu that they could do a raincheck, or if she was feeling bold, she could’ve told Michimiya to fuck off. The latter seems possible in the version of herself in Y/N’s head, but the reality was that she was too nice. Always wanted to make the people she cares about happy, and Atsumu looked... happy? Besides, Y/N thinks to herself as she exits the train and makes the trek towards her apartment building, if Michimiya Yui was going to be involved with Atsumu, the more exposure she had to her, the better off Y/N would be in accepting that Atsumu would never ever be with Y/N like that.

Once settled in her apartment, she sends off a quick “home. thanks for tonight!” to Atsumu before making her way to the bathroom. A nice warm soak would surely make her feel better, make her forget about what an idiot she is and maybe, just maybe, make her body relax all the love she holds in her heart for the blond away. Her phone pings, twice, but she ignores it. Ten minutes into her pity soak she hears a bang on her door, which only makes her groan and dunk her head under the water. The banging stops, making Y/N think it was just her neighbor or something asking for a favor. What she doesn’t expect is for her to exit the bath twenty minutes later to see Sakusa Kiyoomi sittin on her couch.

“Hello, glad to see you exploiting your spare key access.”

“Miya called me and said you looked like shit earlier. And judging by your texts throughout the evening, I figured you were on the brink of a breakdown.”

And so she was. She spent the rest of the evening talking Kiyoomi through the night, slipping in all the questions she’s had from the past two times that Atsumu had cockblocked her. And bless Kiyoomi for sitting through her tears, sitting cross-legged and drinking tea that he had initially made for her but refused to let her drink once he realized she had already brushed her teeth. It felt almost like she was finally thinking about what her friendship with Miya Atsumu was, what it could and couldn’t be. Every moment painted so clearly about how Y/N felt for her blond friend, but the only thing missing was how said friend felt about her. At 11:30 pm, two hours after Kiyoomi initially arrived at Y/N’s apartment, she pushed Kiyoomi out the door, eyes puffy but heart and head a little clearer than how they were when he arrived.

Despite promising Kiyoomi that she would not think about Atsumu, as Y/N settles into bed, her thoughts can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be with him. She mulls it over as she slides off her socks, deciding that it’d be nice - probably exactly how they are now, plus a title and a little less swatting his hands away when he reaches for her in public. Y/N can’t help it as she thinks about whether they would kiss a lot - they’ve kissed before, neither strangers to cheek kisses as greetings or kisses at the top of their heads when the other is crying into their chest (there was even that very drunk kiss they shared on New Years Eve when their friendship was fresh that both still have warm cheeks about when they think about). Just as she’s about to go down the path of whether Atsumu would spend more nights with her at her cardboard box of an apartment or her at his, Y/N cuts herself off - after all she wasn’t his type. Tonight proved that more than anything, she thinks.

It’s not like Atsumu has never brought anyone around Y/N - there’d been a few that she’d met, though they were mostly over a facetime call and it was mostly just her waving at them before Atsumu ducked away to have a private conversation. It's not like tonight was the first night Y/N had to swallow the bile in her mouth at seeing someone make heart eyes at Atsumu - it's just this time felt different; almost like Y/N was finally having the truth thrusted into her face. But Y/N isn’t mad or hateful of Michimiya, nor Atsumu for that matter - she’d never been the type to hate a girl for having feelings for the person she has feelings for. It’s annoying, sure, but Y/N doesn’t see the point in hating someone for how they feel - however, Y/N does not make the effort to become friends with these girls, or maintain the close friendship with Atsumu for that matter. Is it petty to put a strain on a friendship out of fear of losing said friendship? Absolutely! But Y/N knows she won’t be able to stomach another night like tonight - another night of seeing Atsumu slip so easily from her fingers into the arms of another. And as observant as Atsumu is, he never fully recognizes that Y/N is avoiding him, at least that what she hopes since more often than he’s able to worm himself back into her life.

---

Following the failed apology dinner, Y/N tried her hardest to give herself a few days without the blonde- made easy by the fact that the weekend after the failed apology dinner he’d be out of town for another tournament. It’s not like she was totally avoiding him, she’d responded to his texts and even answered two of his six facetime calls while he was away, she just wanted a little bit of time to wallow in self pity in her apartment, crying over her comfort movies and eating too many bags of hot chips. But once he was back in the same timezone as her, Atsumu made it impossible for Y/N to fully wallow.

It started when he texted her about their favorite crepe place temporarily closing for some reason or other - he’d tried to convince her to ditch work early that day to come, but Y/N declined with a simple text of “i like my job tyvm.” So what did he do? Pick her up in his flashy sports car that day after work (two hours later than usual since she’d figured he’d do something ridiculous like this) and drove her there, where he didn’t bat an eyelash as she ordered double than what she normally would have (a silent fuck you from Y/N but it didn’t matter since she wasn’t actualy hurting his wallet). She’d been able to tide him off for a few days, as she escaped to her hometown for a weekend - but that did little to stop the mirage of texts he’d sent her, describing in great detail this cool hybrid bookstore-game cafe that he found and thinks she’d like. Instead of responding how she actually wanted, she’d just replied with a half-assed “ahh exciting- sounds cute!” (She mentally grants herself ten nice points for erasing her initially text, telling him to take his “fucking girlfriend”). This must have really struck a nerve with him when the following weekend, he’d dragged her out of bed on Sunday morning to take her to said bookstore-game cafe, even spoiling her by secretly buying a book she’d picked up but put back.

Y/N can’t tell if Atsumu is intentionally ignoring the hints she doesn’t want to see him or if he’s really just oblivious. She also can’t tell if the patter of her heart when he drags her out of bed despite her not wanting to see him is a good thing or not. It’s been weeks since she’d third-wheeled with Atsumu and Michimiya, surely Y/N should have been able to take a little bit of pride in the fact that he was literally chasing her down to spend time with her rather than Michimiya - but before she can even swallow that pill Atsumu shows up at her apartment with the trace of a bruise hiding just below his shirt collar. The small mark on his neck makes Y/N convince herself that this would be the time that she needs a full on Atsumu ban.

Said ban never actually happens, though.

Just as proof that this ban doesn’t happen, today Atsumu has decided that Y/N needs to come shopping with him. For the entire day. Cue the montage of Atsumu banging on Y/N’s door at nine in the morning, breakfast pastries and coffee in hand as Y/N answers in all her morning glory, sleep caked up in the outer corner of her eyes and pajamas haphazardly fixed. Words are exchanged as Atsumu pushes her towards the shower, promising to make up her bed and even take out the trash for her (a chore she put off last night because she’d seen too many people smoking by the dumpsters which scared her enough to make her drag up the two bags of back up the five flights of stairs). As Y/N settles at her desk to work on making herself “the hottest person at the market,” Atsumu settles on her bed, talking a mile a minute about all the things he wanted to get at the market and the possible places they could go for lunch in the area. All she can do is hum, wondering silently why he’d chosen to take the trip with her and not his girlfriend - but she wouldn’t complain.

The market was...fulfilling enough. Surprisingly, Y/N was walking towards the food trucks with more bags in her hands than Atsumu, who followed behind her with one print from a vendor that Y/N convinced him would actually look good in his home office. The pair decided that Y/N was better suited to look for a place where they could park themselves to eat, while Atsumu went off to get them lunch. Before Y/N could make a break for the tables though, Atsumu grabbed her face, thumb swiping at her cheek firmly - it took Y/N every ounce of restraint to not whimper at the unprompted affection.

“Wha-”

“Had some of that jam sample from earlier on your face, dummy.”

“Tsk… why didn’t you see it earlier.”

He just smiled softly, letting the warmth of his hand fall from her face before patting her back towards her initial direction. Frankly, she’d been thrown off her rhythm; they’d touched each other before for fucks sake. So why was this one moment of closeness enough to make her chest feel tight? As she weaved through the tables, she can’t help but hold her hand to where his was, almost as if to preserve the warmth that was now gone. She hummed gleefully as she found a table, making her way towards it and setting up camp. As she settles into her chair, fingers deftly texting to Atsumu where she’s stationed, she sees a shadow come across the table.

“Hey, are you gonna use all these chairs?” He’s cute, almost terribly cute - he’s got this pinkish-blonde hair going on top, an almost shy glint in his gray-ish colored eyes, and an almost self-assured smile pulling at his lips. He was also tall, much taller since Y/N was sitting, but she almost doesn’t mind considering the fact that she is most definitely gawking at him. She shakes her head momentarily, both as an answer to his question and a way to clear her head momentarily.

“Thanks! My friend over there is too precious to sit on the curb, apparently.” He smiles at her, eyes squinting and she’s momentarily breathless at just how cute he is when he smiles. His arms move to grab one of the chairs and that's when she decides to speak up, not wanting to quite end the conversation yet.

“Ahh no worries! I know all about having that too precious friend! I only need one other chair so you can take two of these.”

“Oh cool thanks… and hey this might be a little weird but - fuck are you from Miyagi? You look kinda like this one girl from high school but - “

“I am! I went to Aoba Johsai and -”

He clicks his tongue and seems to smile even brighter now. “That’s right - you’re Y/N right? I think you were a year younger than us right, but you always hung out with that one girl in my year who used to smoke behind the boy’s gym…” Y/N nods, a grimace on her face and the back of her neck feeling a little warm with embarrassment. How could she possibly explain that said girl was actually Y/N’s cousin and that she didn’t actually smoke, she’d just smell like it after working at their family restaurant. “Well I’m Makki, by the way. If you remember Matsukawa and Iwaizumi they're over there - they were at Seijoh too.” She nods, leaning slightly to see the two men behind him, both wearing smiles that were just a little too cheeky.

“Yeah yeah, I remember… you also had a particular whiny one with you too, right?” He laughs at that, responding that said whiny one was actually abroad. The two make a little conversation, her giving him some suggestions on places to visit since one of his trio is actually visiting for the weekend. Y/N thinks this is nice - feels like the main character in a movie with the amount of men that have approached her in the past couple weeks. Before she can get too cocky in her ability to pull though, Atsumu walks up to the table, hands full with a tray that seems to be piled with too many little plates.

“There y’are… couldn’t see you from across the way… everything okay?” Atsumu questions, standing to his full height as if sizing up Makki, who seems completely unphased by Atsumu.

“Yeah, was just asking your girlfriend if I could steal these two chairs away before I realized that we knew each other.” The strawberry blonde is definitely unphased by Atsumu, who’s shoulders visibly relax at Makki’s suggestion that the two friends were together. “Well it was nice seeing you, Y/N! Thanks again for the chairs, you all enjoy your meal.”

As Makki walks away, Atsumu settles into his own chair with a smug little smile playing at his lips. Y/N, on the other hand, is chewing at the inside of her cheek as food is placed in front of her. Her blond friend, the observant little shit, notices that she doesn’t immediately tuck into the lunch laid in front of her and nudges her foot with his, muttering a quick “what's wrong.”

“You were blessed with possibly the worst timing in the world, y’know that?”

“What d’ya mean?” He muses, taking in her huffily pulling the lid off her food and stuffing her face with the rice bowl in front of her.. She chews, combing the food on her plate with the plastic fork as a way to stop herself from unleashing all her frustrations.

“You always but in whenever I start getting hit on! Or you stop every chance I have at possibly getting to know someone; you come in here full force and its really not fair. I don’t do it to you, and it's just not fair.” Y/N hates that she probably sounds like a whining child, but she really can’t help it anymore. It’s really not fair that Atsumu flaunts his conquests on the cover of every magazine, but god forbid Y/N talk to a guy. “Its been a while since I’ve had sex, Atsumu, and it’s getting to a point where I’d jump just about anyone’s bones. I - I just think that as my best friend you should be providing me some support, not cockblocking me at every fucking opportunity you get.”

It takes every fiber in his body to not laugh at how ridiculous Y/N is being right now. He licks at his lip, catching whatever food crumbs he could before clearing his throat. “‘M sorry what? You actually wanna hook up with those guys? They seem like the type to just fuck ya n’ then not text you back.”

“And if that’s what I want then so what!? Did you miss the part where I said I’m desperate here?”

“Then..” He takes a swig at his water bottle in front of him, leaning back slightly in his seat and sliding his sunglasses to rest on the top of his head. “If you need it that badly then you can just do it with me. You said anyone so I can -”

She laughs, one that sounds on the brink of delusion. “You’re fucking ridiculous. Yeah okay… Dunno if you remember but you’ve got a girlfriend, Miya.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Y/N. We’re… not that serious with each other and we’re also open. She knows that..'' He looks smug, and Y/N wants to smack the absolute life out of him. “And I’m being serious, darlin.. I’d rather get you off than see you get your hopes up over some random.”

Y/N squeezes the poor utensil in her hand, choosing to chomp down one of the buns on the table instead of reminding Atsumu that she wasn’t exactly his type. But she lets it go, just squinting at him and shaking her head, mumbling how ridiculous he is before swiping some of his veggies off his plate. How else is she supposed to react to her best friend blatantly telling her that he’d fuck her if she’d ask - she tries to ignore the way that their knees resting on each other under the table makes her heart soar. Before she can form a sentence, something to steer the direction away from her sex life (or lack thereof), Atsumu mumbles around a forkful of food that she’d better hurry since he wants to do another lap of the market before it closes.

---

Atsumu’s offer and that entire conversation is brought up again a few days later; the pair are in Y/N’s apartment this time. She’d asked him and his brother to come over to install some shelves for her, but apparently Osamu was busy. With the shelves installed, Y/N put on a movie to serve as Atsumu’s entertainment whilst she organized her trinkets. She wasn’t really paying attention to the movie, too concerned with trying to see if the shelves were actually level or not when she heard Atsumu laugh behind her, muting the T.V. with a quizzical brow raised.

“Huh? If you don’t like the movie then you can change it… ‘m not payin atten-”

“Oh yeah not paying attention right?” She gives him a hard look as if proving to him that she can’t honestly give him the plot of the movie. “So you’re telling me that its just a coincidence that this movie is about two friends who make a pact to fuck each other? That it's a coincidence that the literal name of the movie is ‘Friends with Benefits”

She rolls her eyes and turns to face him fully, seeing that he’s now sat up on her couch with his elbows resting on his knees. A beat passes before he puts his hands up, almost as if in surrender, before he pushes himself off the couch and towards the kitchen. She watches him as he pulls out a bottle of wine, nodding to the couch as if asking her to take a break. She relents, folding her legs under herself and pulling at a string on the worn sofa, thinking she’d probably try to replace this piece before she renewed her lease. He thrusts the glass to her, settling into the sofa but he makes no move to unmute the T.V., instead inciting some silent battle while they each sip from their respective glasses.

“Y’know you’ve been snappy lately… my offer from the other day still stands, hope y’know tha’.” She scoffs, choosing to take another swig at her wine, which does little to cool the warmth she feels in her throat. He’s not technically wrong - the conversation the other day had made a fog of tension hang over her, making a long lost desire for the blond resurface in her lower abdomen at full force. She’d spent way too much time the other night on Amazon, debating on whether it would be a good idea to get rechargeable batteries for her toy, spent too long watching his mouth move when he’d facetimed her the other night. It's not that Y/N hadn’t hooked up with anyone since knowing Atsumu, it's just that maybe she’d spent a little too much time enjoying how Atsumu met her emotional needs that she had neglected her physical needs.

“What offer?” She’ll be damned to let him in on the fact that she’d done nothing but think about his stupid offer. Refuses to let him know that she wants, no needs, to say yes. So she plays dumb, finger dancing along the lip of her cup, foot swinging anxiously against the floor.

He hums, reaching to put his glass on her beat up coffee table. He leans his elbow on the back of the couch, placing his chin in his hand, giving Y/N his undivided attention. “‘Samu was talking about how his girlfriend has been on his ass lately about every little thing and so I asked him if they’re doin’ okay, y’know physically… didn’t answer me but I figured he’d solved it if he hasn’t mentioned it since. I heard someone say that if yer girl’s acting fussy then y’need to think about if you’ve been fuckin’ her right and well…” Y/N swallows the lump in her throat, stopping the shiver that threatens to rack her body at the idea of Atsumu thinking she’s his girl. “I was bein’ serious the other day. I know ya were mad so it wasn’t the best time to bring it up, but it seemed like the only good thing to say. Besides, ‘m not all that bad in bed, can ring up a few people if y’need a review.”

Y/N doesn’t respond with anything other than a forced huff of laughter, can't respond really. It feels too warm, she’s hoping that maybe this is some fever dream instead of reality. She just plays with her cup absentmindedly, not quite able to look the blond in the eyes despite the fact that his eyes are studying her face as if she holds all the answer to the questions the universe has. Him being bad in bed is the least of her worries, what if she’s bad? God she wants to say yes, maybe she’ll say yes - maybe it’d be good for her to finally get some di-

“Forget it, ‘m sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable then we don’t have to, sweetheart. I just -”

“I’m not uncomfortable.” Oh now she speaks. He looks at her, a wild look fixed on his face, almost as if he doesn’t believe the words that came out of her mouth. “It's just..” She throws her head back, face covered momentarily by some plant leaves. God she didn’t want to actually voice her thoughts but now she has no choice.

“It’s just what? If yer worried about the fuckin part, I can just get you off other ways. Get paid to be good with my hands -”

“Just shut up for once please, you’re ruining it.” He makes a show of zipping his lips, smiling as Y/N squares herself to him, stretching her neck as if she’s preparing for a fight, rather than speaking a coherent sentence.. “It's just that I don’t… dont wanna force you into thinking you have to ‘cos I’m being bitchy to you.. Like it’s not your problem to fix y’know and I just. Besides, don't wanna be the only one enjoying it, want you to like it too and … for fucks sake this is ridiculous. I just dunno I-”

Atsumu’s hand reaches out towards her, fingers stroking her knee in a comforting manner but it’s all but comforting to Y/N, who’s entire leg feels on fire at this small moment of skinship. “Shh, shh, no baby yer not forcing me to do anything. Don’t think that way - I-I wanna do it! I wan’ya to be happy and if this makes you happy then… And i mean if y’need more of a reason then think of it as a way for me to say sorry for cockblockin’ ya all the time.”

Y/N doesn’t say yes, but she also doesn’t outright decline. She can’t think of anything other than how, if she nodded her head, he’d give her everything she’d been wanting. Atsumu and Y/N stare at each other, moments pass and she’s sure that he’s going to take her stillness and silence as a no - but he just moves to grab her wine glass, moving it from her grasp to the table, shifting closer to her in the process. She holds her breath and he brings one of his hands towards her face, palming the side of her jaw in his warm hand, thumb rubbing at the plush skin of her lips. “Can I kiss ya? Maybe tha’s all ya need is a good kiss, yeah?” She nods, his hand moving to pluck at her bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “Got really nice lips, don’t you? ‘S so soft and wet, catch myself wanting to touch ‘em allot’' She inhales softly as he leans in, his hand sliding to the side of her neck and he litters soft kisses against her jaw. She whines softly when his mouth nears hers. “Shh, gonna kiss you in a minit.”

All Y/N can do is breath, mouth parted slightly as Atsumu drags his mouth over her face. His hand is so warm and big on her skin; he’s so close in her face that all she can do is inhale and smell him, making her dizzy with building warmth in her belly. They catch each other’s gaze, neither daring to blink away, before he tilts his head, pressing his mouth against hers softly at first. He doesn’t move to kiss her, just holds his lips over hers for a moment, as if giving her time to back away if she wants to; but when she doesn’t, he hums and pulls her head towards his more, lips moving in tandem. His hand slides from her cheek, worming its way towards the nape of her neck as he pulls her to him - he wastes no time in deepening the kiss, licking into her mouth with fervor. And she lets him, moving into his lap as she relishes in the feeling of his tongue lazily swirling with her own; the new found position allows him to drag his hand down her back soothingly, her own hands sliding around his neck and up into his hair.

She parts with a soft gasp, whether it be for air or out of surprise she can’t tell. He whines momentarily, before nosing his way down towards her neck, pressing butterfly-light kisses at the flesh. She’s wiggling in his arms, and he laughs, the air ticking the soft bend of her collarbone. “Fuck, you’ve been holdin out on me. Tha’ was good right? A good kiss for ya?” All Y/N can do is nod, sliding her hand towards his face in hopes of bringing his lips back to hers. She can feel the smirk on his mouth when she presses their mouths together again, and maybe after she’d bitch him out about it but right now all she wants is to be suffocated by him.

Moments pass, the air filled with soft pants in between kisses and thickening arousal. Atsumu cards his fingers in her hair gently, mouth still against hers, free hand sneaking around Y/N’s front. She whines softly, to which he shushes her softly. “Shh you’re okay… just wanna feel ya.” He soothes her over by indulging her in soft kisses against her lips, hand pushing up the front of her ratty t-shirt, snaking his hand past the waistband of her shorts into the confines of her (now too tight) underwear. Y/N shudders when he strokes lightly over her clit, before surpassing it completely and going to where a wet spot had been developing on the fabric. Plucking the damp cotton out of the way and letting the tips of two fingers rub over her weeping hole, “Oh.. this for me?”

A small noise crawls out of her throat, a mix between a moan, a whine, and surprise. “Don’t, ‘tsumu. It’s embarrassing..”

“Shh don’t be embarrassed. Just feels good to know I make ya feel good, baby.” Atsumu pulls his fingers from her, smiling when she whines at the loss of contact. But he’s able to soother her before she can get too fussy; one moment Y/N is on top of him, struggling to not rock against his thigh and relieve some of the pressure building up inside of her, the next Atsumu has her flipped over so her back, her body caged between the back of the sofa and his arms. A hand on either side of her head as he bends in, sweeps his tongue at a strip of salty skin just beneath her jaw. He hastily shoves up the shirt she’s wearing, revealing more of her and letting his hands graze over her breasts lightly at first before kneading them. She feels lightheaded while his mouth works on her throat, biting and sucking a bruise at the base of it that makes her gulp. Parting from the skin with a gentle kiss and a small, whispered comment of, “Taste so good, so soft and sweet. Been holding out on me, hmm?”

For the first time ever, Y/N has Atsumu in her arms and has no need to push him away - no, instead she’s holding onto him as if she’d die if he slipped away from her, her hands gripping his broad shoulders before sliding up into his hair as he makes his way down her body. He’s practically praising her - pressing wet, open mouthed kisses on her skin as he moves downwards, fingers making quick work of tugging her bottoms off, helping her kick out of them quickly and clumsily. She knows that Atsumu is not a patient man, but this is a whole other level of impatience. He’s pushing her thighs open, cold fingers squeezing at the soft flesh of her thighs as he scoots down to be at eye-level with the barest part of her, making sure her calves are hooked over his shoulders. Y/N can’t remember a time when she’s ever been in a more vulnerable position, but instead of shying away like her instincts would have her, she finds herself moving to better accommodate the man between her legs. Her eyes catch his caramel colored ones and her breath catches in her throat; he’s staring at her, enamored by her.

“Such a pretty little thing aren’t ya?” he murmurs, lips forming a gentle kiss on her inner thigh but before she can retort he gives one long, gentle swipe of his tongue directly up the middle of her folds. She gasps, face turned away from him and thighs threatening to close, but he shifts his hand to stop her, holding her in place. “Aht… don’t get shy now, lemme get a taste.”

It’s too much when he dives back in, skilled mouth a vicious match for his insatiable need to please. As he strokes his soft, wet tongue deeper and deeper between her slippery folds that part around him willingly. Y/N’s sure she’s moments away from swearing her undying fealty to whatever higher being put this on her plate for today. Puckering his lips around her clit after stopping just before sucking on her until it was swollen and even greedier for his attention. Dipping his tongue inside of her hole, humming appreciatively against her and only feeding into the whimpering sounds filtering out of her mouth.

Embarrassingly, Y/N feels that she’s nearing her end - despite the shame of admitting that it's coming too fast, she feels the need to tell him anyway. “Hmph… g’na cum,” she chokes out, hoping that he heard her because all she can hear is the blood rushing in her ears. Every sense is suffocated by Atsumu’s presence, and she’s shameless as she lets every pant slip past her lips, feeding into Atsumu’s ego. “‘m so close, I need it. Need you to – to keep going please, ‘Tsumu”

And he does, gets her to the edge of her high before sliding his mouth away from her. The whine that falls past her lips is deafening, eyes opening and seeing that he’s just nuzzling her thigh, lips making light work at marking the soft flesh. “No, no you said… said you’d help.. Please I’m-” she’s hiccuping, tripping over her words numbly as she tries tugging his head back to where she’s most desperate for him.

He hums at her softly, almost patronizingly, as he places a kiss to the skin closest to his mouth. “Don’t cry pretty girl.. Won’t leave you hanging, ‘ts so warm down ‘ere… might have to stay forever, tha’ okay?” He is disgusting, filthy, so sinfully good. And true to his word, he goes back in without another word, only a small smile and his own hum that vibrates through her lower half. When he takes her clit back between his lips, it’s all she needs. Every tense muscle finally seizing to his maximum strain; it’s like she was a string that’d been stretched too far and finally frayed in the middle, snapping. She can hear her heartbeat thumping like a bass in her ears, can feel the way she’s twitching under Atsumu’s relentless movements, and it drowns out her own noises that she’s making.

Moments later, all that can be heard is her bated breathing, head completely empty and eyes heavy, flickering and fluttering with just how light she feels. Atsumu kisses his way back up to be face-to-face with her, making sure to peck gently at the marks he’d littered her skin with. His face is buried in the base of her throat, their arms tangled around each other lazily - Y/N feels too sleepy to protest the way that he’s pressing all his weight onto her; but isn’t too tired to realize that he’s hard when her hips wiggle to accommodate him between her legs, maybe has been the entire time, which confuses her slightly. Why would he be hard over her? She understands her total arousal over him since she bitched him into submission, but him? If anything, him being hard right now just proves, to Y/N at least, that maybe he would get it up with anything. But what if it is for you, her heart wonders briefly.

“‘Tsumu… are you-?”

“Shh, ‘ts alright. Let's get you to bed.” And he moves to slide off her, moving to guide the two of them to her bed, which was a feat on its own considering Y/N’s legs feel like jelly. All he can do is smile at her, taking in her relaxed face and mused hair. He settles her into bed, sliding up next to her and pulling her onto his chest, lips pressed into the crown of her head. Before Y/N can even think of a way to say thank you, she feels sleep taking over, choosing instead to just indulge (for once) in the pseudo-domestic situation she’s in tonight.

The following morning, Y/N almost doesn’t want to wake up, isn’t ready to come to terms with whatever happened yesterday. Long gone is the lusty drunkenness from last night, but Atsumu...Atsumu is still fully there, lips pursed and arms shoved under the pillow - Y/N holds back the urge to trace her fingers along the lines of his arm. She russells around, hoping that sleep takes over her again so she can justify waking up wrapped around Atsumu - her attempts are futile though when she feels a firm squeeze at her side, cold fingers making her jump slightly.

“Wha’s wrong?”

She mumbles a barely coherent “nothing,” to which Atsumu just hums, snaking his arm over Y/N’s middle and pulling her towards him, chest to chest with his breath fanning over her face. She swears she could die a happy person now. Wants to have every morning be like this, him in her too small bed, squishing themselves together for warmth, just the sheer proximity is enough, she muses to herself. Apparently, Y/N is thinking just a little too loud this morning for Atsumu’s liking because he sighs softly, asking if she’s sure nothing is wrong.

“Mm ‘m fine. Jus’ tryna get comfortable, go back to sleep.”

“Can’t now, all yer wiggling woke me up” And before she can even retort, he shifts slightly, practically forcing his groin on her thigh, to which she squeaks softly. “Jus go back to sleep… too early for breakfast.”

“Bu- Tsumu.. Lemme..” she starts, shyly. She did have this inherent need to pay him back for what happened, and she can only equate his favor with something equally as...pleasurable?...fulfilling? She can’t find the right word but the most equal compensation for sex has to be more sex, right? The sleep in her bones is fully gone now, her hands sliding down his sides slowly, tentatively. “Please...wanna jus’-”

“Don’t have to, can just go to the rest- sh-shit.” He starts, his own hand reaching to stop hers but his movements stutter when she palms at his crotch, giving his bulge a full on grope. She shushes him softly, lips moving to peck his jaw softly as she snakes her hands past the tight confines of his underwear; and though she can’t see much of what is going on she can feel how thick Atsumu is. His hands have shifted slightly, one arm resting behind her and the other cupping her face, their lips tangled in kisses that feel too sweet and far from platonic.

Moments pass, and it's apparent that Y/N is moving much too slowly for Atsumu, him bucking into her hand and his hips rolling in uncalculated and sloppy movements. He whines softly when she pulls her lips off his, both softly gasping for air, but she shushes him, using the most minimal amount of strength to push him onto his back and settles between his massive thighs. By this point, once fully exposed in front of her, he's so hard that the foreskin is already drawn away from the head, tip slick and wet with precum. She’s gentle, wanting to preserve the quietness that comes with waking up at eight in the morning, as she presses a few open mouth kisses at the patch of hair below his belly button.

And it’s all over from here. Y/N ducked herself down, licking from the dip of his balls to his drippy head in one broad swipe. Y/N shudders softly at the whimper she’s able to pull out of the man above her, thinking that it’s probably the best noise she’d ever elicited from a man. Atsumu runs his fingers through her hair as she slides his head into her mouth, fingers deftly scraping at her scalp as she begins sucking. She sucks him like she wants to – like this was the most perfect way to spend every morning, with her blonde, dumb, stupid best friend stuffing her mouth. Both are still hazy with sleep, but that doesn’t stop Y/N from pulling him in deeper, hollowing her cheeks as she begins bobbing her head and moving her hand in tandem to stroke at what can’t fit in her mouth.

His fingers start to tangle in her hair rather than comb through it, his moans filling the room, punctuated with little encouragements that she hums at around him, like, “Tha’s it, there’s my good girl,” and through shaky laughs, “M'gonna cum if you keep doing that, baby.” Eventually, Y/N knows that he must be near his peak, but she pauses, eyes locking with his caramel colored ones, as she pulls her mouth away to let his length just rest on her tongue.

“Fuck yer pretty… so good aren’t ya?” He whisper-groans at her, gripping her hair a little harder when she tilts her head to the side, allow him to shallowly fuck himself between her lips, his thumb tracing the bulge his dick made in her cheek. “Need'a pull off if y'don’t wanna taste, baby… gettin so- fuck- so close.” He gives her hair a slight tug, like he might actually pull her off himself, but she doesn’t allow him; she just shifts her mouth, making light work of wrapping her lips around his tip, sucking greedily with and humming in protest around him. And it’s that that sends him over, twitching in her mouth as he sputters off shaky profanities before she feels shot after shot of white ropes hitting her tongue. Y/N can’t help but stare at him above her, relishing in the fact that this morning she gets to see him shake and shudder because of her.

Y/N pops off him gently, drawing back and humming at the lingering salty taste he’s left on her tongue. She graces the skin of his heaving abdomen with soft, fluttering kisses as she tucks him back into his underwear, before she crawls up his body, legs swinging to straddle his narrow hips. He’s got an arm thrown over his eyes, neck red and he seems almost bashful underneath her (which makes Y/N’s heart swell with adoration at just how him he is). She wiggles softly, folding her hands on his chest and laying her chin on them, waiting for him to say something to her. She blows a laugh through her nose when he finally looks down at her, eyes glimmering and lips pulled in the shyest smile she thinks she’s ever seen on him.

“You… yer good. Too good… just wow.”

---

Suffice to say lots has happened in the week following the pair quite literally eating their hearts out.

Firstly, Atsumu spent nearly every evening at her apartment that week. He waited every single day outside of her office building - her coworkers have taken to telling her how lucky she is that she has a man waiting for her with this whipped look on her face, but she swears up and down (with warm cheeks) that it's not like that. They eat dinner, alternating between picking up something on the way or cooking together - and by cooking, just picture Atsumu cutting vegetables in uneven chunks while Y/N scolds him for not adding enough water to the rice cooker. Normally this could happen: it's not super rare that they visit each other during the week if it's convenient - what is definitely not in the norm is the fact that Atsumu has buried himself between Y/N’s thighs thrice this week. It starts when Y/N looks too stressed on Tuesday evening, that Atsumu pulls her legs over his lap in an attempt to “massage some of the stress away,” which only leads to him manhandling her onto her back, promising to give her something else to cry about besides work.

Secondly, Osamu thought it would be best to alert Y/N that Atsumu had a very awkward conversation with a woman during lunch on Thursday - it was secretly his way of asking her to ask Atsumu what happened because both Y/N and Osamu were terrible gossips who feed off each other. When Y/N asked though, all Atsumu said was that the whole conversation didn’t matter, that the woman (who Y/N learned was actually Michimiya) wanted more than Atsumu was able to give to her. That their lives weren’t in sync or whatever, that they’d eventually manage to be co-workers at best. To say that Y/N wasn’t elated at the news would be a bold-faced lie.

Y/N feels on cloud nine, feels like she doesn’t even need to have a conversation with Atsumu about what their situation is currently. She gets to reap all the benefits of a relationship now, she’s physically taken care of and emotionally spoiled. Only thing she’s actually missing is the title but what's in a word, right?Atsumu wasn’t a natural flirt, always hid compliments behind a harsh delivery - but lately he’s taken to drowning Y/N in compliments, even the corny ones. Y/N expected a post-nut “god yer pretty,” but what occasionally caught her off was when he would open the door for her (normal) and say that “a pretty gal like you should never hafta touch a handle” (not normal). Subconsciously, Y/N feels like he’s only trying to compliment his way into her pants, but she chooses to ignore the way he coos at “just how gorgeous her eyes are” when he makes eye contact with her during a midnight snack.

On the second Thursday following the start of the Y/N-Astumu situationship, Y/N has no choice really other than to ask Atsumu what’s going on with them. They’re at the grocery store by his place (he’d convinced her to take the following day off work and spend the night with him), everything is more than normal when the pair’s conversation gets interrupted by a literal model-esque person, touching Atsumu’s shoulder. Y/N tries to sneak her hand from his arm, but he grasps her hand before she can get too far, looking at the stranger with a less-than-friendly expression.

“Oh Miya! I’m a huge fan, would you mind taking a photo with me?” He indulges his fan, never letting go of Y/N’s hand, even as she steps out of the camera’s focus. The stranger parts with a grateful smile to both Atsumu and Y/N, which feels unnecessary, but Y/N returns anyway. The friends continue their shopping trip before making the trek to Atsumu’s apartment building. Y/N is quiet, in her head about the whole fan interaction that lasted a total of five minutes, but Atsumu says nothing - even stays quiet until the pair are up in his apartment.

“Everything okay? Not bored of me are ya?”

She smiles weakly at him, settling to rest against his kitchen counter. “It’s just… I- nevermind it’s stupid.” She shakes her head, hand waving in front of her as if trying to shoo away the negative cloud above her head. But Atsumu quickly grabs her hand, pulling her into the space between his arms.

“It’s not stupid if ‘s how yer feeling.. What’s up?”

“Okay…” She starts, pushing away from his chest to give herself some literal and mental space. He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back at the opposite counter to Y/N, who's mirroring his stance except her head is thrown back, eyes searching his ceiling for the right words to come next. “Are you always like… this… with the girls who give you head?” When she looks at him, his head is tilted to the left in confusion, making her huff anxiously. “Okaaay.. you’ve complimented me more in the past three weeks than any other person has in my entire life… is that normal for you to do with the girls hooking up with you or am I the exception? It’s not a big deal.. It’s just that you -”

“I compliment you because you deserve to be complimented, sweetheart… but if it makes you uncomfortable then I can stop.” He cuts in, before he uncrosses his arms, palms gripping at the counter behind him. “As for the whole hooking up part… is that what you want this to be? ‘Cos we can do that, up to you Y/N, I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give -”

“But why? Until three weeks ago I was under the impression that I wasn’t your ‘type’ or whatever so why now are you suddenly on board with taking whatever I give you?”

He laughs, and Y/N wants to cry. Why wasn’t he taking this seriously? Y/N is good at feeling her feelings, but has a hard time clearly expressing those feelings into words.

“Don’t laugh a-”

“Who told you what my type was? If it was ‘Samu or Omi I swear I’ll -”

“You did. You said I wasn’t your type.” He balks, eyes wide and riddled with trying to think about when he said it. “It was forever ago, but you said it. You came back from Germany, I picked you up and ‘Samu had called while I went to the restroom and well.. I overheard you say-”

“Yer an idiot, made an assumption before ya knew the whole truth, baby. I was talking about this photographer that I was kinda seein’ at the time. M’brother asked why if she’d get mad that I chose to see you fresh off the plane instead of her, said it didn’t matter because she wasn’t my type.”

Y/N wishes that the floor of his ridiculously priced apartment would swallow her whole, or that if she pushed the right buttons on his fancy microwave she’d be able to rewind life to five minutes ago when she decided to start this conversation. Frankly, she feels silly and like she shouldn’t say anything else - she knows that her words conveyed a little bit of insecurity that she’s sure Atsumu doesn’t want to have to deal with.

A beat passes before both Y/N and Atsumu open their mouths, but he’s able to get out the words first. “You really thought that you weren’t my type?” Fuck his smug little desbelieving smile.

“Don’t gimme that look - you’re usually spotted around the globe with gorgeous people… ‘s it really wrong of me to assume that I wasn’t your type? Besides,” she starts, arms crossed around her middle while Atsumu takes a tentative step to close the gap between them. “It's not that it matters now since, y’know I know that it's not true.. Just hurt my feelings at the time and well…”

“You were supposed to be the smart one between us, got the college degree ‘n everythin.” He teases, arms reaching to rest on her waist. “For someone so smart you really missed all the signs huh? Why do you think I stepped in every time some guy tried to talk t’ya? Why d’ya think that I tried to take up all your weekend time, don’t get me wrong I love spendin’ time with ya but also didn’t wanna see you goin out with any guys you’d met when I wasn’t around.” By this point he’s got her chin in his hand, ducking his head slightly to make her look at him fully. “And why the hell would I eat you out at every possible opportunity once I’ve been given the okay? Just because I get thrown it all the time by others doesn’t mean that I eat out every -”

“Alright, alright. You can shut up now. I get it, I’m dumb. I just didn’t think -”

“Oh you got tha’ right - didn’t think at all did ya?” She groans, throwing her head back. She’ll never be able to get the image of his smug face out of her head, never going to be able to live down how for once in their years long friendship Atsumu was smarter than her. All he can do though is laugh, pulling her face back down to his and giving her forehead a soft kiss, making her stomach erupt with flutters.

“If you tell anyone about this conversation, I swear to god Miya I’ll-”

“Shh it’s always gotta be a threat with you huh? Why can’t you just admit that you were stupid for once?”

“Not happening.”

“Not even if it means you’re stupidly in like with me”

“No, because I’m not stupidly in like with you… I just adore your stupid self more than I’d ever admit in front of anyone else.”

He laughs, bumping his nose against her with a laugh before kissing her softly. Everything is great, life is great. Y/N loves Atsumu and Atsumu loves her, and she isn’t some sad, movie cliché any longer. She’s got this gorgeous guy who practically worships her, so freely giving himself to her. He pulls away from kissing her for a second, taking a moment to appreciate the way that her eyes are closed happily.

“Just so y’know… I adore you too.” Kiss. “But you are never allowed to call me stupid again… from now on I’m the smart one in this relationship.”

A/N pt2: and so that’s it hehe. thank you sm for reading I hope you enjoyed it. any little comments you have in the tags would be nice to read or yeah. this is my side blog so like hgjdgsh if I respond to you it’s gonna be from my main haha

#okay now I can type in the tags but basically I’m actually v proud of this not so little fic and so I just sjdjdjdj #if you’re reading the tags ily #tysm for reading my fic I appreciate u!! <3 #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fic #haikyuu smut #haikyuu fluff #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x female reader #miya atsumu x y/n #miya atsumu fluff #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya x female reader #miya atsumu smut #atsumu miya fluff #atsumu miya smut

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twewy-comix · 3 years

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the big one-oh - let’s watch twewy

only two more after this!!!

LAST TIME: EVERYTHING SUCKS

“neku wake up! you fucked up big time” “beat”

they decide to go check out where they can get with their keypin. also a dude walks through neku and he hears his twitter feed

it’s indeed become homogenous - once known for being full of all sorts of individuals with their own viewpoints, it has been reduced to a wasteland of people shuffling about like zombies. not a single unique thought to be found. the same phrases, repeating endlessly, mindlessly...

...and that’s just what twitter was like BEFORE the replies meme amirite (canned laughter) (wild applause)

「えっ、ハネコマってハネコマ？」kawaii

and if there’s one person we can always trust, it’s joshua

anyway they continue their search for konishi

love this cat

thot detected

murder!

thot detected

after doing some murder and awkwardly-timed feelings jams, neku and beat find a wall that’s all fucky. i wonder who could possibly have done this

kawaii

they go through to udagawa, where the air is thick with space cat powder. the source seems to be the weird sigil sho drew, so neku tries taking pictures of the past to figure out wtf happened. he doesnt explain how it works to beat because “there’s no time,” which im sure won’t bite him in the ass later

(happy birthday tsudaken)

oh hey it’s our pals kariya and uzuki im sure they know what happened here

jk it’s a boss fight

the anime’s weirdly inconsistent about when it shows blood or not, huh

beat manages to knock uzuki’s red skull pin off, which im not sure was a thing in the game?

they realize they can reverse the brainwashing this way and remove kariya’s pin too, thus avoiding any senseless murder

honestly i didnt rly like how this scene was the last we see uzuki and kariya in the game*, so if the anime is changing that im fine with it. Let Them Live

(i mean theyre in neo twewy so we know they live) (but i thought they were double-dead for nine years, dammit)

*(but the last time i talked about that ppl got mad at me lmao)

haha... sure u are ;)

THE WHOLE BUILDING’S FUCKED UP (AND NOBODY NOTICED???)

oh ok. in the game beat just grabs the camera and uses up all the photos and they find something useful by pure luck lol

oh shit they found his catnip stash

hey havent we seen that design on an evil sky laser recently

yeah from an evil sky laser

oh. that too

anyway there’s a gold key pin in the envelope and a letter that says “try not to get killed by konishi”

wasnt he trying to help joshua get into the river? yet he had this keypin all along?? what gives??? you have to watch the secret reports OVA to find out

oh no

yeah and the weird art installation’s in the way too

male gaze

OH COME ON THEYRE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE

nope, nothing to see here, move along

murder accusation #2...

...ignored

(he doesn’t say megs/megu-chan here. fascinating)

OH. UH. OKAY

some context: here’s the game’s version of this scene:

nine years ago i drew this comic based on that scene (which i re-uploaded earlier today):

but i hadnt read the secret reports yet back then, and on my second or third playthrough i thought “oh maybe he actually meant hanekoma here”

also earlier today i was musing on that and thinking “nah, probably not, but given how the anime framed his resurrection it’d be really funny if he was” because hanekoma was RIGHT BEHIND HIM

but here we are. he really was looking for hanekoma, who was right behind him. that answers that!!!

but i guess the question here is: is hanekoma the composer? or rather, does sho think hanekoma is the composer?

(i know the answer ofc. probably.)

anyway yeah it’s funny. and also way funnier after i said “nah probably not, he couldnt POSSIBLY be THAT much of a dumbass”

no, dude, you cant tap him on the screen or he’ll just teleport all over the goddamn place. you gotta aim your shots through him, like the guy you really wanna hit is standing behind this asshole

unfortunately not everyone can be a super awesome gamer like me so they get their asses kicked. and--wait what

day six....? in the game they were on the last day, right? what do they need an extra day for?? and by they i mean the writers

bunp

NEXT TIME: THE END EXCEPT NOT BECAUSE THERE’S TWO EPISODES LEFT BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THEYRE GONNA DO ALMOST EVERYTHING IN THE NEXT ONE AND IDK HOW THEYLL HAVE ENOUGH TO FILL THE LAST

#the male gaze shots return with a vengeance

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obsssions · 3 years

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━♡ guess the 21 YEAR OLD JUNE baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because LEE JANGMI is just as EXTENDED as the month of JUNE. wait, why do they remind me of KIM JIWOO? beyond that, they seemed FAIR & APPRECIATIVE upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of MELODRAMATIC & DEFENSIVE though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX #2 / APARTMENT #0612 / FLOOR #4 ; SHE seems to have a lot going on with HER job as a ZOOKEEPER'S APPRENTICE.

hi hi hi everyone. i’m hyacinth & this little june baby goes by the name of jangmi. she is really just a few bad personality traits and needless animal facts stacked up on top of each other and wearing a trench coat. (◠﹏◠✿) i love her very much and hope you all do too ( but if you do not i understand~ she is not for everyone. dare i say, she is for NO ONE?! ) tw: death mention below the cut. please, stay safe.

pinboard ♡ stats ♡ plots

BIRTH NAME * lee jangmi.

NICKNAMES * “ mimi. ”

BIRTHDAY * june 12th , 1999.

GENDER * cis female.

WESTERN ZODIAC SIGN * gemini.

EASTERN ZODIAC SIGN * tiger.

BLOOD TYPE * ab.

HOMETOWN * jeju island , jeju-do , republic of korea.

FAMILY * lee minseok ( father / bed and breakfast owner ) , lee ( formerly park ) hyejin ( mother / unknown )

SEXUAL ORIENTATION * bisexual .

POSITIVE TRAITS * playful , endearing , engaging , fair , & appreciative .

NEGATIVE TRAITS * melodramatic , temperamental , headstrong , finicky , & defensive .

JANGMI grew up rather sheltered, she was the apple of her father’s eye. his only child, his best and brightest star. jangmi never knew her mother -- and her father wouldn’t speak much about her -- which caused a young jangmi to imagine that the woman lived a rather luxurious yet daring life. the girl pictured her mother as everything from a spy to a diplomat to a professor to an astronaut. wherever the girl’s interests lay, that’s where she could find her mother.

HOWEVER, as she grew taller and wiser with age, the questions she had about her missing mother only grew and grew. she feared asking her father outright, sure that the reason he never brought her up was due to the crushing way in which he missed her. jangmi figured it was like the sea, ever-present and unchanging. jangmi grew curious; she grew imaginative. the girl always had questions regarding anything and everything.

THAT BEING SAID, she was an inquisitive child, always trying to better herself and outdo her best. she maintained good grades throughout school and tried her hardest to be friendly to everyone -- even when that came at the cost of others whispering about her behind her back, saying she was too quiet, too odd, too set in her own ways. so what if she didn’t have many friends? it had never bothered her before and it wouldn’t bother her now . . . or would it? the loneliness got to be a little much and, whenever that happened, jangmi’s mind would wander back to her mother. where was she? who was she? why isn’t she with me? these three questions -- in varying ways and phrasings -- were what kept her up at night. she needed to know, and she made it her mission to find out someday. pushing things off for future occasions became something of her forte, her bread and butter. jangmi’s problems were tomorrow’s headaches.

�� BUT TOMORROW ALWAYS CAME, didn’t it? sure enough, the sun always rose and she was always forced to face her problems head on ( although she did not want to. no, not at all. ) the girl knew it would be in her best interest to follow through, to seek out new horizons and do her best . . . but why did it require so much work? why did everything worthwhile in life cause her such stress and too many headaches? jangmi found herself working twice as hard to get half the reward as everyone else, but that was until she found her true calling.

ALL THAT HAD BEEN SAID about her not being the best at making friends was true. her conversational skills were nothing to write home about, and she liked to daydream her days and nights away. that didn’t mean that she was opposed to connection. no, quite the opposite, actually. jangmi craved closeness and intimacy; she wanted people to like her in the same way that she liked them so much it made her soul ache. however, she knew her limits. she knew that she wasn’t the most exciting or important or even entertaining person. it’s only so long that people will want to hear fun facts about television shows, after all. but jangmi found her calling and realized that it was calling her to get a little . . . wild.

SHE APPLIED FOR A JOB AT THE ZOO ON A WHIM, a late night whim -- the type that typically found her eating ramen in her room at 4 am while watching hours-long documentaries about some odd topic that she’d only been interested in for the past twenty minutes. jangmi almost didn’t answer the call to schedule an interview, out of fear that it was one of those scams where the person sounded like her father calling from jail. however, she did pick it up to find that it was the real director of the seoul grand park zoo, asking about her references and such. jangmi couldn’t believe her ears -- had she really gotten the job?

YES. yes, she had. all of those nights at school, where it felt like getting a biology degree was getting her nowhere paid off and she was spending her days cleaning up after the cheetahs and helping bathe the rhinos. making connections with people might have been difficult, but it was all too easy for jangmi to fall in love with the animals ( and feel like they were falling in love with her, too. ) she felt a strong bond with the sturdy elephants and how they were constantly being misunderstood. of course, they had little in common besides that, but it was enough to bring some joy into jangmi’s life. of course, with the new job meant a new city. it was goodbye to jeju and hello to seoul. never in a million, billion years could she have seen herself living it up in the big city, but here she was. she finds dallyeog through an ad in the paper and, upon seeing it for the first time, mimi felt an odd peace wash over her. perhaps this was where she was supposed to end up all along.

OF COURSE certain things still haunted her. she’d never been this far from her father before, but he was likely very busy with the tourism season coming up and the renovations that were being done on the inn. however, she always kept coming back to her mother. what happened to her? it didn’t make sense to jangmi and she was tired of having so much in her life going right ( or seeming to be close to heading down that path ) when that -- that all important thing -- remained a mystery. so, she reaches out to her aunt, figuring that the woman will give it to her straight. aunt hyehoon never minced words and, while it bothered jangmi when she was younger, right now, she needed the sour truth more than she needed a sugar-coated lie.

ALAS, what she came to find out was nothing of the sort and, actually, terrifying.

❝ I KILLED HER? ❞

no wanted connections yet because that would require me to be a human being and not the animal crossing villager that i am............................. BUT please give her some friends / enemies / crushes / exes / social media besties / people she loves / people who hate her .................. you know, the usual plot types. honestly if you come to me and say “i think jangmi and my muse should try to make up their own language and be those irritating neighbors who are running around speaking their made up language” i will say “so true bestie let’s do it.” i am down for anything! replies might be slow because i have a long shift today BUT i see you all and i love you all! i do! not making that up haha!

I PROMISE I WILL BE LESS OF A MESS TOMORROW :OOOOOOOOOO

#dallyeog:intro #❛ * ･ﾟ ( 🍓 ) . . . 𝙡𝙚𝙚 𝙟𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙢𝙞. ── PINNED.#tw death mention

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theatregaymer · 3 years

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You need to Relax~ SuzaLulu sfw tickle fic

Here is a pairing I’ve long been a fan of. Suzaku was my first muse back when I started roleplaying on here and enjoying it. A friend of mine @ticklish-v-93 and I got together for a sfw tickle fic since we know a lot of us like sfw as well as nsfw. I’ll upload one or two of those later but this one is more for everyone!

As the bugs sang to the evening sky, Suzaku Kururugi was making his way...or rather slugging his way home. Having just finished another group cram session, he'd long since passed when he thought he would be home. But when the groove hits ya, you just have to ride it...right? He'd been preparing for these final exams like his life depended on them, his work taking up a lot of his time though, thus resulting in his stress levels and fatigue being higher than they were even back in midterms.

College life really was exhausting, though he did know he was luckier than most, having someone to come back to amidst all his internal exhaustion.As he opened the door to the apartment they shared, the man left his size eleven shoes at the door before calling out. "Lelouch? You still up? Mmph sorry I took so long, you got my text though right?" He'd sent word ahead as they agreed, when he would likely be home late and not to wait up for him to eat dinner, he usually got by on vending machine ramen or something depending on if the cafe on campus was still open. He came out of the entryway and felt his shoulders relax slightly, his lover seated on the couch with the television showing some kind of film he hadn't really seen before. He let his bag rest along the side of the couch for now, knowing he'd be hitting the books first thing in the morning while he ate breakfast to save time. "Hey, you could have gone to bed ya know?"

Lelouch had dozed off with the tv on as he waited up for his boyfriend. It being finals he saw how Suzaku cramed for his exams and overworked himself. Lelouch himself had one more paper to turn in. Yet since he was almost done he could give his boyfriend tlc.He rubbed his eyes and perked up as he smiled at his boyfriend. "Su, welcome back." he beckoned him over, wanting to greet him properly. "I know but I felt bad and decided to wait up for you. So how did it go? Today was your last day finishing everything right?" He asked as he watched him make his way tiredly to the couch.

The brunet wavered for only a second, having his own mind somewhat sluggish at the moment. Suzaku undid the few buttons on his top, part of his chest being revealed as he let himself relax around his best friend, roommate and partner in life. "I hope you at least ate something...mmph yeah the big stuff is done but..." He knew Lelouch wouldn't like it, but he couldn't rest on his laurels yet. As one of the only Japanese students here at their university it was almost like he felt he had to excel in all his scholarly aspects in order to show any of his peers or even teachers that he was not just some lucky transfer student. "I still have some minor things to go over before next week. Nothing that will keep me out late but, I won't be puttin the books down just yet." He said with a smile, trying to keep their soft and loving mood going rather than get a lecture at this hour. His rear end finally sinking into the cushions, the boy reclined somewhat instantaneously with a groan as he could have sworn he felt a pop in his back after having been hunched over all day.

Lelouch listened, and with each word he had a concerned and disapproving expression before he finally sighed and shook his head as he settled beside him. He understood why his boyfriend worked so hard, he knew of some of the professors and students who didn't believe he earned his place in the school. So to prove them wrong he go back over his completed assignments before final submission, being meticulous as he searched for any error he missed or reworking. "Haa Suzu...I won't lecture you, because I understand why." He shot him a soft yet loving scolding look. "So I'm gonna use a different method...you can lay on my lap and rest properly or I make you." He let his eyes narrow as he patted his lap. "If you don't at least break properly you won't be in tip top form." He wasn't upset but didn't like the way his lover would overwork himself because idiots couldn't get over the fact that he was a genius.

Suzaku smiled initially, the warm words of understanding coming from Lelouch and washing over him. He could kiss him right now, sloppy as his tired kisses could be. However he caught the look in those eyes right away and knew he was still in trouble, even without a lecture. "Eehehehe...s-seriously? I mean I'm grateful and all, I mean...I accept...thanks." He was too tired to defend himself right now anyways, and an argument usually ended with him getting outwitted anyways. He grunted and stretched out, a grunt eeking out of his throat as he took a second to find a comfy position with his head resting on Lelouch's thighs, his legs being long enough that his ankles rested on the arm of the couch. "Mmm this is actually...kinda nice, heh. If your legs get numb though you need to let me know." He could just study tomorrow once he woke up right? Lelouch wouldn't mind that...he hoped.

Lelouch rolled his eyes at the adorable doofus of a boyfriend flicking him teasingly on the forehead with a smirk. "Yes, and you should be." when he was comfortable he leaned down pecking his forehead. "Sure sure, I will but first." he squeezed his cheeks. "I hope you aren't thinking about studying..." he could tell when Suzaku was making plans in his head. His brow would lightly furrow in the cutest of ways and his eyes would slightly darken in thought. Completely unnoticeable if you didn't grow up with him. "Suuuzaakuu~" he drawled out his name as he smooshed his cheeks. "If you are I’m going to take matters into my own hands...literally." he smirked as his fingers started playing with his ears.

The brunet was caught red handed, how was Lelouch able to see what he was thinking so easily!? Well then again, the two had been friends since childhood, even after so much time apart they'd gotten right back into their friendship so quickly. And developing that relationship further into what it was now...well there were bound to be things they knew about one another after all that time. Through squished cheeks and the teasing of his ears, Suzaku attempted to explain himself...or at least lie. "No noho hehe I pwomishheheh hehey oomph come on Lelouch Ihi'm too tired for that." He said, not even thinking of where it might lead his boyfriend since there were certain things about him Lelouch liked to exploit to gain an advantage. That was his style after all, exploit a weakness and turn it into your own strength.

He knew it! Well at least he can distract him from such thoughts. "Ohhh, I can't tell, you must not be that tired if you can think of plans, so you can handle this!" he chirped fingers moving to his neck. "I think this is just what you need. Proper punishment for overworking yourself." he said over him. "I bet you even planned to sleep for a certain amount of hours then waking up early to finish whatever things you had left to do." he said alternating between tickling his ears and neck.

"Pffthehehehaha oh ohoh noho come ohohonahah!" Lelouch was nothing if not thorough, sometimes overly so. His thought processes moved at a staggering rate leaving Suzaku little room to mentally maneuver around whatever he could say. "HAha nah no please Ihi swearhahaha ack come ohon mercy you knohow how it tickles!" Suzaku weakly began trying to curl up, being comfortable enough to not want to leave this spot as he turned his face into the other's stomach to laugh his heart out.

Lelouch cooed at the action trying not to laugh himself. Because it was finals the two didn't really have that much quality time together besides a kiss here and there. With how much their schedules kept them separated and busy. So now here he was, tired as they both were he couldn't wait until they were done. It was time to collect!! "Awww nope let me feed off that sweet laughter!" He snickered and moved his fingers to his ears. "Ahh mercy? Nono how bout some food, likeeee raspberries!" He chirped with out warning attached his lips to his exposed neck and blews light raspberries and nibbling at the exposed skin.

Suzaku was completely at the other's mercy now, those exploratory fingers wreaking havoc on him even with only these light attentions. "HAha ah wahaha noho nono KYAAHAahha!" The raspberry, dear god why was he still so vulnerable to those things at his age? Lelouch's lips were soft, perfect to vibrate against his neck and make the poor guy buck and squirm around some more. "MMhmhmhmhmph! Looohouch meheanie!" He complained, letting out a bit more of an undignified and childish side of himself while trying to curl up.

At the comment Lelouch growled playfully then delivered another loud raspberry. He giggled himself as his lover squirmed around, it was nice to hear his laughter, if anything he was addicted. So to gain more he shot his hands to his sides poking and squeezing. "Mnmnm pbbttt..mhuaahh!" He lifted his head. "Not nice to call names mister tease!" He chimed grinning down at him. "Mean would be me cuffing you to the bed and tickling you until sun up." He snickered. "Plus, I can't trust you to stay still enough before you dash out that door again!" He said finding an unprotected spot and digging his fingers in.

Suzaku moved like a man possessed. Lelouch choosing to target his poor sides had him twitching and wriggling about in that lap, only slightly managing to not fall off the couch at this point. "BWHAHAh ahah AH staha no no that's haha not fahahirhah! Youhu wouldn't!" The only time they'd actually done cuffs with tickling was one of Suzaku's birthdays, definitely a wake up call he never forgot. "HIhihehehaha AH AHAHA I WIHIHLL Pleehehasehaha just move somewhere eleehehehse!" The brunet pleaded, knowing and accepting that this sort of punishment was inevitable. He didn't hate it, liked it sometimes in fact, but Lelouch knew that and always tended to keep him in suspense as to when he would strike.

"Hmmm?" Hummed playfully as he heard his words. "Completely fair love." He said over his laughter. "Ohhh think I won't when I will...hehe this time I won't buuuuttt. Next time when you least expect it." He told him thinking maybe once their exams were over he would reward him in his own special way. "Huh? Move?" His smile turned downright evil. "You said it...not me!" He changed his position a little and stretched over him and went for his hips.

The ideas for such a wild night were not completely lost on the brunet, but at the same time his entire being wasn't really in on any conversations right now. He barely caught a glimpse of Lelouch's wickedly playful smirk before his lithe hips were seized. "Whahat are you GYAAHAHAA aAH AHA NONONONHIOHOHHAHAIHIHI!" One of his top three spots no doubt, the hips had never been somewhere Suzaku thought himself to be vulnerable until Lelouch got ahold of them. Something about his delicate fingers, his touch almost like an artist molding a masterpiece...Suzaku had no chance at preventing such embarrassing and rapid paced laughter from bursting forth.

"There we go! Wow!" He chuckled himself as he squeezed his hips, digging his thumbs into the groves then moving up to his sides then his ribs and with some struggle was trying to get to his armpits " Yes! Let me get your armpits!" He said giddy from the situation. "Let me in Suzu!" He said sweetly and he focused on his ribs since his arms were clamped down. They should be sleeping after all but did not want to pass up this chance of physical affection. "This is helping both of us! You look so refreshed!" He grinned as he continued to assault him with tickles as he became more drunk off his laughter.

High pitched cackling, soft moments of silent laughter in between louder fits of uncontrollable giggles, Lelouch had him right where he wanted him to be sure. "HAhaha...eheh ah no nohoh please no aharmpihihitshshsheheha!" The poor brunet was writhing, desperately trying to think of what he could do to defend himself even in the slightest as his arms stayed as closely tightened as possible. He bent them at the elbow though, trying to lean into Lelouch and tickle with his hands where he could as payback, despite knowing that in this situation he definitely couldn't be as effective, nor get at the really good spots.

"Dont worry I'll get them eventually! Maybe I should go for your fe-eheheehet!" Lelouch jumped a laugh as he felt his hands get active below him and pulled back just to clasped both hands. "Oh you little sneak hehe!" he grinned down at him as he allowed for a brief breather keeping their hands clasped. "Maybe I should go for your neck again for that little stunt." It was no secret that he was just as ticklish as his boyfriend. Just he was better at hiding it and getting the upper hand on Suzaku.

Grinning as he at least got a bit of a breather, Suzaku knew he made the right call after hearing Lelouch's next targets. "Heheh...mmmhmhmhm, Maybe instehead, we can work out a deal?" He asked, not to get more studies after, but to make sure he could obtain some payback when his own torment was ended. "I'll let you get one of the spots...heh the pits or the feet. But in return...I'm gonna get you back, on your back." He grinned widely, knowing the other boy had quite the sensitive spine...and he loved playing him like a piano. Sure he was at a disadvantage, but if his own hands were in check now, that meant Lelouch couldn't keep tickling him either.

Lelouch listened to his offer with an amused smirk, usually he was the one planning and making deals that would give him the upper hand. Yet as he stared down at his boyfriend he couldn't help but shake his head with a small laugh. "Striking a deal huh? You drive a hard bargain!" he thought about it and almost wanted to decline and go back to tickling him. This was suppose to be a 'punishment'...Thaaat quickly turned into self indulgence. Plus his back was his worst spot and he hated his laughter when he was tickled their. "Haha alright, it only fair," he leaned down capturing those lips briefly. "Mmnn lets see," he thought about what he wanted and decided to target the spot he was closest too. "Give me those pits Mr.Tease." he grinned down at him.

He was glad Lelouch was so understanding and willing to deal with his bit of selfishness at least in this regard. Of course, even though he knew one of those spots would be subjected to torture, he still struggled for a moment to lower his guard as he looked up at Lelouch while getting comfy again. "Mmhmhmhm crap. I swehear you better be ready for my turn." Arms tentatively moving at a snail's pace, he jerked a little out of fear a couple times before reaching up and gripping the armrest of the couch for support, his pits wide open and practically wearing a sign that said kill me now.

"Oh dont worry I will be." he chuckled booping his nose. "Now arms up Suzu!" he said showing him his hands, snickering at the flinches and hesitation before he finally yielded. "Aww that's cute," he giggled at his expression. "Don't worry I won't be long!" He dug in before he could clamp his arms. "Tickle tickle Mr.tease!" He taunted with a grin. He was most likely gonna get it worse for the teasing but at least it was worth it just to see that gorgeous smile.

Though his arms did jerk a bit, Suzaku kept his hands holding firmly to the couch, even when his legs bucked into the air at the sudden and intense feeling of his poor pits falling under fire. "GWAHAHah haah ahah AH AHAH LELOHOHOUCHEHEHAH Oh MY gahahadhahaha!" The brunet's laughter continued unhindered, his vocals rising up an octave on occasion as he certainly didn't feel tired anymore, though that would probably hit him later after things calmed down.

Lelouch happily indulged himself as he continued scribbling his fingers in the spot. To futher mess with his boyfriend he gasped. "Woah Suzu I think I feel a hair trying to come in!" He pinch and clawed switching between hard and soft tickles just enjoying the sight and sound he continued for a moment more before stopping and simply rubbing his hands down his side. "See was that so bad?" He cooed moving bangs from his forehead.

"HEHEHAAAHAHA AHAHA AH NOHOHO You HEHEHAHAha! LeLOUHUHUHUCH!" The poor boy squealed, legs flopping about again until his love seemed to finally take some pity on him. Suzaku was panting groaning as his arms came down and tried rubbing the feeling away. He looked up at Lelouch, playfully pushing out his lower lip with a huff. "Mmph...i'm so gonna get you double time." He declared with a pout, having another spot in mind that he knew would put Lelouch in a similar state.

"Hehe I know you will!" He kissed those lips again. "But was it really that bad?" He cooed as he scratched through his scalp. "You look better too." He tapped his forehead. "And not as grimy like earlier...well you could use a shower and some shampoo." He teased just to mess with him. "Maybeee I should continue and get those cuffs." He strecthed moving to stand.

Suzaku huffed in a joking manner, sitting upright and stretching himself before blinking slightly and turning to snatch Lelouch around the waist. Just like that, his strength was practically fully functional as he pulled the boy back onto the couch with him. "Ooohoho no, I think you're gonna stay right here mister tickle monster." His superior athleticism gave quite the advantage here as once he was in control it would be nigh impossible for his more intellectual partner to escape him. And thus he playfully pushed Lelouch down face first, cackling like a playful villain before he shoved his hands up the back of his shirt and began doodling different lines, circles and swirls along his bare skin.

Lelouch shrieked with a laugh as he was pulled back down. "W-wahahait pft Suzaku!" He flailed as they wrestled and he was maneuvered on his back, he should have worked more on gaining muscles along with his intellect. "Nononono pfthehee kyaha mnff." He bit his lip and covered his mouth as he grabbed a pillow tossing it at his boyfriend. His legs kicked as one of his most ticklish areas was exposed.

"Pffthahah hehey now I didn't use weapons!" Suzaku complained playfully, using claw motions to crawl up his boyfriend's back and then down along his ribs and flanks, giving him squeezes all the way down. The whole time he was shifting his weight, dodging as much as he could while feeling Lelouch writhe in agony underneath him. He may be rather ticklish himself, but his dainty partner was for sure much more wild and unstable when you got him in a good spot. "I wonder if your feet are worse than your back Lelouch, what do you think?" He teased, not even really pausing as he continued to work his thumbs into the other's waist.

“Pfahahaaa!" He bucked with a pitchy laugh as he felt those fingers making him arch out of control. "Hahaha arhghahaha Suzakahahahaha!" He tried to roll onto his back to escape the feeling but his body was heavy and had all his weight on top him. Plus the tickling was taking all the fight out of him. "Nohohoohohoho! Oh my gohohohosh!" He clamped his arms down to his sides as some form of protection.

"Oh? No you say? Noooo? Not here then, well we might as well try the other spot." Suzaku happily announced before pulling his hands back and turning around. Seated on Lelouch's butt now, the brunet reached down and, after a bit of struggling, grabbed both of Lelouch's ankles and hoisted them towards him. He made a habit of drawing out this particular torture, starting to scratch and scribble his fingers along both soles with one hand.

"Thahahahats nohohoht what I meantehehehe!" he cackled with a squeal and groan, he tried to keep his feet hidden and out of his lover's grasp and shreiked as he was caught. "Nononoooo Suzuhuhuhu pft I hahahahate you so much!" he pounded at the couch as the worse torture began. Oh this was war! if he could reach back and get him he would.

Suzaku giggled wickedly, having an almost sinister cackling sound to his voice as he eagerly stripped the boy's socks away and went doubletime over both feet. Heel to toe, back and forth, he didn't really let up until he was suddenly rubbing each toe instead, cooing his boyfriend to calm him down. "Hahaha there there, gosh your feet are so ticklish Lulu~" He teased with the nickname their friends came up with, knowing that if he wasn't blushing from his undignified response, that would get him heated in a hurry.

"Nohohoho GAHAhahahaaha!" he laughed out as he struggled to try and get free but could only laugh and toss and turn. "Ahahaaha...ahh haa pft hehehe ahh haha..." He gave a laughing glare to his boyfriend as he all but melted and laid there blushing heavily at the nickname he groaned hiding his face in the cushion. "Thahahats not my fault you ass." came the muffled response. Though he was happy Suzaku was in better spirits. "Your just as t-ticklish there too!" he said still refusing to show his heated face.

Suzaku couldn't stop smiling at how cute Lelouch was with his guard down, his normal walls no longer preventing his real self to shine through. The muffled protests were mostly easy to make out, Suzaku gathering there was some return taunts as well as accusations. "Sorry what was that?" He said playfully, fingers digging into the soft balls of the other's feet for a second to get a renewed reaction. "Hehhe not my fault you didn't take advantage." The brunet couldn't help but enjoy this ticklish little time they had together, the stress almost wiped completely from his mind due to Lelouch's influence.

"Kyahaha! Hehehehe!" Lelouch bucked with a shriek flushed face coming out of hiding as he laughed. Only Suzaku could bring this side out of him, making him break through all that regal and mature persona to the wind and be as immature as he wanted. He was more than happy to be able to act like this around him. "Ahahaha! I saihhihihid you're j-just as ticklish too youhuhuhu ass!" He giggled out covering his face as he struggled to reach back and aimed a squeeze at his knee. If he wanted him to take advantage more he would as much as he could.

Suzaku saw this coming, the inevitable countermove by his chess loving partner. But he was ready, quickly snatching said arm and holding it out so he could in turn reach in and reintroduce the vulnerable armpit to tickles again. "Ooohohoho bad moove Lulu~ Oooohohoho tickle tickle tickle hehehe. Oomph!" Suzaku grunted as he let up and laid down on top of the other's back, making sure to hug him from behind and prevent any further tickle attacks. "But you win, no studying, no stress....yawn aaaall relaxation...mmm starting with a nap here."

"OH SHIHIHIT! Suhuhuhuahahaha!GAhahahaha!" He tried to clasp his arm down yet all he could was lay there and take it. "Hahaha ahh hngnn." He panted and flinch as those arms wrapped around him, thinking he was going to go for his stomach yet relaxed when that wasn't the case. "Uhng Suzaku get off so we can at least cuddle in the bed! Dont crush me hereeee!" he whined playfully trying to turn in his arms. "I know you aren't asleep that fast!"

Suzaku playfully make snoring sounds, exhaling and blowing into Lelouch's ears once or twice before he giggled and got up. "Cuddles sound good to me hehe. You gonna make me breakfast tomorrow?" He asked teasingly, offering his hand with that casual smile that Lelouch no doubt fell for a long time ago.

"Nyahaha Suzahahaha...hgn hahaha..ahh!" He rubbed at his ears before taking his hand with a laugh face still flushed as he stood. At the breakfast comment he pinched his sides. "Wise guy...psh it was going to be a surprise. Now im not sure." He smirked walking past him into the room. "But if you get yourself a full eight hours then maybe I'll think about... now shower and come to bed. If you start working I swear to tickle you again until you pass out!" He beckoned him with a finger. " But if you want I'll keep you company in the shower and wash you hair~" he purred.

Suzaku nodded, feeling the alert status he'd gained from the tickles begin to wear off. Of course as he rubbed the back of his head and stretched, he couldn't help but hear the subtle meaning behind Lelouch's words as he walked away. "Huh? H-hey Lelouch! Wait a sec, together! I want you to wash my hair!" He quickly chased after him, knowing what that kind of tone meant for the tactical genius that never failed to put him in check. He'd get that sleep, but the night was clearly still young...

#tickles #sfw #boyfriend tickling #suzaku kururugi #lelouch lamperouge #code geass #rp #fluff

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euaxel · 3 years

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heyyy, eonia. i’m reid, i’m twenty-three, still can’t read, and all i know about pjo is that it fucking rocks and the protag has the same learning disabilities that i do! also, i picked hypnos for this punk mainly to be mean to him and because in the hades game hypnos bullies me every time i die and i’m kiiiinda into it. hmu on discord one on one for the best plotting experience, but i’ll be around plenty to bug y’all in the gc too. you can read about bastard boy number one right here and under the cut we’ll get down to business.

⟨ ELLIOT FLETCHER. TRANS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, AXEL EVERETT is actually a descendent of H Y P N O S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-TWO year old VIDEO GAME DEVELOPMENT & COMBAT TACTICS MAJOR from BROOKLYN, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite WITTY & SELF-DEPRICATING.

be advised, axel’s a pretty heavy character. i’m gonna keep it brief for the bio & need-to-knows, tag around the parts with bold applicable triggers so you can skip around as needed, and tag this post accordingly, but just let me know if i miss anything and i’ll fix it & be safe reading. godspeed and i apologize in advance for bringing you all my personal punching bag as my first muse.

the main triggers that are gonna come up are: parental abuse, alcoholism * major, mentions of bullying, drowning * major, religious trauma, and drug abuse with some harder drugs ( particularly, weed, pills and cocaine / nothing with needles. )

general stats.

— full name , axel harley everett. — nicknames/alias , axe, ax, wolverine jr, tyler durden jr, trouble, Who? - every professor he’s ever had. — house, hypnos and mad about it. — age, 22, as of today. also mad about it. — gender, trans male. — pronouns, he/him. — sexual orientation, bisexual with a somewhat heavy masc lean. — d.o.b, january 1st, 1999. ( generally unknown to anyone but maybe siblings, he will probably lie and say Nobody Knows... I Just Am unless he really fucks with you. ) — hometown,

phys.

— height, 5′0ft even. furious about it. — eyes, brown. — hair, brown. — face claim, elliot fletcher.

misc.

— zodiac, capricorn. — alignment, chaotic good. — character inspo, lip gallagher, steve rogers ( young ), ellie from tlou1, logan howlett, stiles stilinski ( if anyone says shit i will scream ), probably someone from euphoria but i’m too scared to watch that, peter parker ( andrew garfield ), shinsou hitoshi, finn mertens, marceline the vampire queen, dipper pines, this is all over the place but it’s there. — most played spotify songs, passion for publication by anarbor, sober haha jk unless by hospital bracelet, nobody by mitski, class of 2013 by mitski, king princess’ cover of monster from adventure time, way too much phoebe bridgers, in love or whatever by future teens, and the entire front bottoms discography but especially in sickness & in flames with the hard way & bus beat well at the top of his loop. — aesthetics, bloody knuckles, left open and tipped over prescription bottles, walking on the carpet with socks to get that tingly feeling, skateboarding inside, dozing off at the bar, tangled legs in messy sheets, ten pillows on a twin sized mattress, laying down in the shower, brian sella’s cracky singing voice.

bio.

— axel was born and raised in brooklyn, new york, and he was claimed at thirteen, on his thirteenth birthday, by hypnos. — the day he was claimed, axel ceased contact with his human mother and his step-dad, and he attended a camp for half-bloods that wasn’t far from home. he spent his adolescence there year round for safety from monsters at home and abroad, then moved on to eonia. — ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw begin ) i don’t want to be too graphic here so i’m going to plainly say that axel’s mother was a very, very bad person, and the man she married was absent at his best, physically abusive at worst. axel’s powers ( hypnokinesis, namely ) were potent and difficult to control at a young age, and as a deeply religious catholic woman, this scared his mother and influenced most of the animosity in their relationship. she was convinced that the defensive visions he created and his ability to put her to sleep ( an attempt to help her, on his end; insomnia plagued her and later, it would him, too ) were of demonic origin, and tried to drown him more than once; cleansing, she claimed. the worst instance was the day he was claimed, actually — new years day, 2012; his life was saved by hypnos, and that was the last he saw of her. ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw end. ) — that said, he’s a little ( very ) hydrophobic. poseidon kids do NOT fucking interact ( i’m kidding. kind of. he Will avoid a little though ) — anyway! moving on. all of this aside, axel did his best to put his past behind him, and he was actually super stoked to learn that his powers came from somewhere good and that there was places out there for kids like him; to learn he wasn’t any kind of monster. ( still working on believing that, though.. marcelines monster.mp3 right here ) — he’s less stoked when he starts having trouble falling asleep, and really, it feels like a more cruel twist than any other fate has thrown at him ( his upbringing was chock full of mean twists, so that’s saying something ); and really, it’s more like insomnia just full on kicks in, but he can put other people to sleep. great, right? whatever, though — combat classes are kickass and he’s surrounded by babes that think he’s hilarious so things could be totally, way worse. — ( bullying tw (brief) ) for the most part, axel was pretty well liked among his peers. he was bullied as a young kid (pre-claim), but he bit back and he bit back hard, and sure, some of that followed him into his teen years but he’s more confident by then; less fun to poke at, and absolutely unhinged when provoked, so people learn better of it. the only real lasting effect was one instant that hit him a little too deep in the inferiority, when he was seventeen — he fell in love with a girl, told her that, and found himself at the end of a very mean spirited prank. he shook it off like he did anything else, or at least — he told himself he did, even if the hurt hit him somewhere a little too deep rooted ( ie. being god’s most unlovable son would naturally land him here, right? ) love’s kinda stupid anyways, so what the hell, right? (bullying tw end.)

— ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw begin ) this is already obscenely long so i’m just going to keep it to the point here and say he began drinking when he was sneaking booze in to camp at fifteen, and it just never stopped there. he’s also a massive stoner, which is all well, harmless and good for the most part; he’s always grinning, half-lidded, and has a room full of smoke at any given time. it’s the pills that do him in, and he did them at first just so he could get some shut eye, and... well. after that, because he’s dependent on them. but he keeps this part under wraps for the most part; it doesn’t have to be anyone’s problem but his, and it’s not a problem until it is one. partying’s fun, so is coke; so is taking a few too many xan’s, mdma. ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw end )

FUN FACTS!!!

— i swear he is not as doom and gloom as he sounds from the bio, and yeah, writing that made me so sad i feel like we absolutely must hone in on the fun and cute things about him!?! — he loves dnd. he can talk about it for HOURS and if you let him, he absolutely will. — adventure time makes him cry. he’s a baby don’t let him fool you. — very into cryptids, aliens, horror stories, conspiracy theories, in love with ryan from watcher, wanna be shane medej. — he loves to draw! the one thing he loves about his power is what it’s done for his imagination, and sure, he mostly draws horror things, but it’s why he went into video game development. he wants to be a concept artist. — his double major is in combat tactics because he loves fighting. he thinks it’s so fun. he’s a little nuts, actually — i mean, get hit in the face and come up grinning. all he’s ever wanted is to run a fight club and be the shortest, baddest little bitch on the planet. — he tends to nod off in weird places because he doesn’t sleep enough at night, which is sad, but; he can seriously fall asleep anywhere. standing up, in a tree, you name it. — he’s a hobby musician! he loves singing and playing guitar. — he’s a huge flirt. — loves to scare people. he’s harmless, though. like, honestly. he might make you think you’re seeing a walking toadstool but he’ll probably apologize later. — he’s very much a singing in the shower type? — clothes thief. friends and significant others beware. — actually, just kind of a thief? but of weird, little things. like, just the left shoe. puts them in a little corner in his room that he has set up like an exhibit. “things you thought you lost lol” is written on the whiteboard on the wall above it. he likes collecting rocks too. he’s a little freak!! — he’s better at the memory retrieval part of his power than the rest. naturally, as this mostly applies for other people.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. im literally so tired of hearing myself talk...

friends/squad. self explanatory!!! he’s friendly, a class clown, and a loyal friend through and through; he’s also adaptable, and his demeanor is very relaxed and inviting. he’s probably gonna have 2-3 people that he’s really close with, and he’d do quite literally anything for them. seriously, don’t tempt him. a best friend. so this is kind of vague but. i’d really love for him to have one person that is just a tier above the rest? they’d know things about him that are like pulling teeth to find out ( aka, anything deeper than his most recommended podcasts and loudmouth opinions on non important things ), someone who will call him on his shit, and maybe take care of his stupid little self when he gets too fucked up, because they’d be someone he trusts enough to let them. enemies? he probably gets along with most people until given a reason not to? but he is a loud mouth and if one of his friends gets into drama, he will stick his nose where it doesn’t belong and he will throw hands, so it could happen.

harmless rivalries. maybe even steamy ones. he’s a little shit and he likes banter so, so, so much? if given the opportunity and if someone rubs him a certain type of way, he’s so not above being a menace, although never super maliciously. just, you know, annoying the shit out of them on purpose, for fun. he’s also not above blowing a few kisses their way.

current hookups. self explanatory too. he’s a little harlot. HFBHVFNJ. it’s gonna be kinda hard to go beyond sex with him because he’s very deep in his own insecurity but he does catch feelings, he’s just mad about it when he does. i’m mostly gonna go off chem for that though! an ex. could be on friendly terms? but, it should be noted that he could’ve ghosted someone too; or pulled from the relationship when things got serious and he couldn’t choke out that ‘i love you’, even if he felt it. worse, if he did choke it out, but they didn’t feel the same way. siblings. hypnos kids he is gonna be so protective of all of u... family is hard for axel, i’m ngl, but he really wants one is the tragedy of it all, i guess? so he just really wants to be a good brother. he thinks hypnos is kind of a dick for making him but he tries not to fault him for his existence. fuck u dad i dont wanna be alive feels a little unfair. HDBHFDSJ. anyways he’s a good brother even if he is absolutely so reckless and terrifying in regards to himself but his siblings. his siblings he will do anything for. ALSO!!! FOUND FAMILY!!!! it would be kinda nice if he bonded with someone a little older maybe, could be outside of the hypnos house even, someone he’s kind of a bratty-little-brother type with.... or bratty older brother that takes your things and makes you laugh, y’know.

PERSONALITY. just tacking this part of the app on at the end too to highlight parts that i think are important for understanding who he is, and just so it’s all in one place!

toothy grins, half-lidded eyes, and keepin’ them laughing is what it’s all about, baby. axel walks with more confidence in his posture than he’s earned ( or claimed, for that matter ), and it’s the backbone of what gets him by. he’s a glowing example of the fake it ‘til you make it mentality, and he knows what he wants, usually how to get it, and doesn’t mind letting you know that. there’s an ever present mischievous glint in his eyes that says more about what to expect from him than he does, and that’s still not much? he likes to have fun, and there isn’t a whole lot of regard for righteousness or responsibility on his end, but hey! it’s usually only ever at his own expense, so what’s the damage? he’s an absolute clown and he knows it.

axel loves people. he does — you might not guess that with how elusive he is, but it’s true. there’s nothing he likes more than a good conversation with someone interesting, or maybe not even then; if there’s a sparkle in you, he’ll see it. ( might even draw it, not that you’d ever know. ) he’s warm, loyal, compassionate, relaxed, and understanding; and none of that is at the cost of being passive, or lacking passion.

as long as the vibes are right, he’s happy to just be; though, he’s known to have a fuse for certain provocations, and will jump readily at chance to fight in someone else’s honor. also, it’s not unlike him to spar for the sake of sparring; but that’s all in good fun, no worries.

there’s no way to sugarcoat it — axel has an inferiority complex. where that stems from is something he’s more self-aware of than he’s willing to admit, but he doesn’t have the patience or the will to dissect it; much less do anything about it, and he’s as bull-headed as they come — especially regarding anything related to the psyche. how much this impacts his demeanor and relationships with others varies on the situation, but one constant is that he’s going to retreat before things get bad; even if ‘things are getting bad’ exists only as his own paranoia-born hypothetical.

things can’t go bad if you don’t let them, and he’s content to keep it that way; even if it means being stuck in the stasis of missed opportunities. it’s when he’s retreating into himself that he can get irritable, anxious, jumpy; secretive, defensive, even. he’s personable until he isn’t, essentially.

#euintro #ik elliots like 5'7 but i've never let this kid be taller than me and i will not start now #parental abuse tw #bullying tw #drug use tw #alcoholism tw #drowning tw #religious trauma tw #jesus christ whats wrong with me #anyway who wants him #Because I Dont #anyway im not fucking proofreading it JBFGHBFJFBDJSKNMA im so sorry this is a monster in length

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rcguna-archived · 3 years

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“ Raguuuunaaaaa~. ” Rem had been gone for most of the day, after forewarning him that she would have to be preparing for a very important meeting with some very important politicians on this very important day, but she had also informed him that when she comes back that night, she’ll have a gift ready for him.

Little did Raguna know, it was all a plot from the very start. If the strange absence of Betty was anything to go by (or maybe he assumed she had to be present as well?), Rem wasn’t just preparing for an important meeting. No no. That was all a ruse; a little white lie to save face for what she had in mind…!

And what she did have in mind was a gift so grand, so heartwarmingly filling that the mere mention of it would warm any icy heart! But to really make it meaningful, Rem had to employ the help of another member of her new, immediate family; Betty.

Having Betty help with baking a cake would have once been pretty difficult. Were it not for the various occasions Betty had spent with both Rem and Raguna practicing baking, she likely would not have been at all prepared for this day. However, Rem was fully ready to show her the ropes, and placed a bet that Betty could help her to make the best birthday cake Raguna’s ever seen in his life! But what would it be…?

Betty had joked about it being a dirt cake, but little did she know that that idea alone had influenced a growing idea in the back of Rem’s mind; a literal black forest cake! the inside would remain the same as such a thing, but the exterior would be artistically created using Rem’s fine skills with all the baking tools and goods at her disposal!

Thus, the two got to work. The past few days had consisted of Rem taking small-ish breaks from the farmhouse to gather supplies as discreetly as she could, and today marked the day where the cake would be created. And the result…?

Rem’s voice had called out to him so that he could open the front door to his lovely, isolated home. Perhaps he was taking a bit too long, and a smaller voice almost immediately followed. “ Hurry up, I suppose! This is heavy..! ” A little fairy girl who he’d grown quite fond of, sounding bothered by something. When that door opens…

The surprise is revealed! In both of their hands, Rem and Betty hold a platter housing a rather large, circular-shaped cake, styled in a fashion with frosting and edible fake props that help the cake to resemble a growing, beautiful forest, with a field of flowers Rem had basically spent all day getting just right with the tools she had on hand! The edible flowers created a garden that looked vaguely similar to the one in which their favorite bench is parked next to. It becomes evident, then, that the cake itself is meant to be an artistic recreation of their new home, and a special candle that is molded almost perfectly to fit the image of Raguna, with a thumbs-up and a wicker in the middle of the thumb, lit aflame by a quick flash of fire magic that Betty incants the moment the door is fully opened.

“ Happy birthdayyyy~!”

“ Happy birthday, I suppose…! ”

------------------------------ @onlyhorn

Raguna hardly even thinks about his birthday. Given the fact he has amnesia, it very likely wasn’t even his actual birthday! Just the day that was given to him to use as such many years ago when he first showed up in Kardia. His birthday, his name, his taken occupation. All of these things were given to him like gifts of their own by an oddball of a young woman. They’re celebrated if remembered. And sometimes he’ll have people wave him down when he travels into town, but otherwise he’s perfectly content to let it pass without any fanfare.

For him, the coming of Spring means the coming of the next season of planting and the farewell to the frost. This meant that the farmer was busy. Clearing brush. Tending to the soil. Ensuring he had the right amount of seeds for the fields he was going to have prepared for that first warm week. That was the excitement, and something very clearly conveyed to Rem and Beatrice. He never even mentioned his birthday once, which of course didn’t keep Rem from finding out about it. She wouldn’t have had much trouble learning about it from other townsfolk after all.

Raguna would thus be none the wiser to her disappearance along with Betty’s. While he may have appreciated assistance now and then in the fields, this was nothing he wasn’t used to doing on his own. They had their duties and he had his. What was important was that they continued to support one another.

The day that his birthday at last rolled around was probably the busiest yet. Intentional? Certainly not. But he does decide that he’s done about the best he can do without hurting himself. If there was one thing he didn’t want to do it was come back inside and look as if he had overworked himself. Dirty, slouchy, weary... Rem didn’t like it. And he didn’t like making her worry about him. So with the setting of the sun does the farmer wash himself off at the spigot and put away the tools. A little bit of a stretch before opening the door at his fiancee’s beck--....???

“ Happy birthdayyyy~!”

“ Happy birthday, I suppose…! ”

“........” Stunned speechless? Well, yes. That and genuine surprise. There’s a decent helping of oh right it was my birthday... mixed in those features as well. Realization comes at him quickly as he looks between his contracted spirit, no, his adopted daughter, and then his wonderful radiant fiancee. Even with how beautiful that cake looked, her pride in it shone even brighter without a hint of exaggeration.

He’s certainly not biased.

“Wait, you guys... you... did you two bake this cake together? For me?” Hard to see it any other way. With how confident and smug (in the case of Beatrice) the pair looked that was definitely how things were looking in this home. His heart warms and any fatigue he had felt washes away with their voices as they begin to sing a short song together. He’s blushing, he’s sure of it, but is still able to blow out the rather unique looking candle once it’s all said and done.

The cake is gorgeous. All the small nuances of their shared home evident in its design almost down to the array of flowers themselves.

“Thank you... I love you both so much. This is really really special. I wish we didn’t have to cut into it, it’s like taking apart a painting or a book, haha. What a piece of art...” His musing is interrupted by a rumbling gurgle from his insides. Even if he was trying to flatter them, other parts of his body were suddenly feeling very impatient to do otherwise.

“....er, shall we get the knife?”

#onlyhorn #inbox :: submission #inbox :: answered ic #though the past is painful our future will bloom like a garden :: rem x raguna #if only they had cameras #or the patience to paint a picture #because that must be one hell of a cake #submission

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justkindaoverhereobsessing · 3 years

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2020 IN WRITING

tagged by: @indestinatus

tagging: no one, because I am unable to think straight. But whoever is interested in doing this: I’m interested in reading it. <3

Wow, okay, I’m getting real in this little questionnaire... read at your own risk, friends.

1. List of works published this year:

I genuinely can’t write them all out here... there are too many of them! (I’ve done so little besides writing this year!) But I keep a running list of all my projects here. I’m sorry for cheating on this one, haha.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

This question comes up a lot on these things, and I always put the same answer: That We May Forgive. It’s has emotional moments, silly moments, heartfelt moments where the warmth made me cry as I wrote. It was written in one sitting, and it’s the story where I felt most connected to the characters I love so much. It sums up the joy I feel knowing that these (fictional) friends of mine have finally reached peace after too many years of trauma and hardship. I began the story with a single line in mind, after which the characters took over and told the story for me:

Ziva's second pregnancy is nothing like her first.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

You Stumble, You Soar, which was written for one of my dearest friends in the world, @why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee. I wanted to do so much better by her, but as I ran out of time to complete the story by the end of her birthday, I rushed the writing and I think the story suffered for it. It made her happy, though, and that’s the most important thing. She deserves all the happiness, all the time—but especially on her birthday.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I can’t think of a favorite excerpt of my writing, because I’ve written so much that I can’t think back!

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

“Wow. Let me just tell you that I am absolutely in love with this story. I wake up everyday and, as I log into fanfiction, my only hope is that you've uploaded a new chapter because DAMN. The characters are so well written, the story is beautifully constructed and this last chapter just broke my heart into tiny little pieces. What a remarkable job you've done. Please, don't ever stop writing NCIS/Tiva fanfiction- specially this one story: it's one of my all time favorites. Thank you :)”

An incredibly kind and inspiring comment by a reader named Alexandra on my longest (WIP) fic, We Are an Ocean.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I’ve had two periods of NCIS hiatus this year—and actually, I’m still in the midst of the second one right now. These have periods of turmoil in my own life. When I’m upset, feeling sick, feeling sorry for myself and I’m depressed and aching... that’s when I write the best, because writing is my safety blanket. When I’m feeling numb, though, or lost... the characters are lost to me, too, and so are the words I use to wrap them (and myself) in comfort.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I’m going to deviate here from NCIS, which is—I’m well aware—why most of my followers have chosen to follow me. But in the last month, I’ve written a single fic for Criminal Minds—it’s called In Possibility, it’s unpublished, and it’s now over 100,00 words. It’s centered on Spencer Reid, who was intimidating to me when I started writing the fic. He’s far more intelligent than I am, requiring me to do a lot of research to give him realistic lines, he’s a deep and complicated character with complicated motivations and a tangled, traumatic past. He also has a sweet, really good heart that’s been scarred by years of difficult work and an emotionally taxing personal life.

I thought he’d be difficult to write; to my surprise, he comes as naturally to me as any of my other favorite characters ever have. He gave me my first nanowrimo win! To be frank, he’s gotten me through a lot of shit this year. That was the best surprise.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

To be honest, I wasn’t much of a writer before this year. I enjoyed writing, especially in a roleplay setting with fandom friends... but I deeply struggled with trying to write alone. I didn’t do much of it.

Then, this year, well... the concept of writing exploded into the most important distraction, escape, and joy I could imagine.

I didn’t grow as a writer this year. I became a writer this year.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

My most recent project—the one that, as I’ve said, is (and will remain) unpublished—has given me a new perspective. It’s written for an audience of me and only me... so I’ve given myself permission to engage in the most ridiculously self-indulgent writing I’ve ever embraced and thrown myself into.

And it has been the greatest joy I could imagine in a time of great pain.*

Next year, I want to throw myself into every project I work on with as much reckless abandon as I’ve done in this last project. I want to stop worrying so much about what people will think and pursue the words that are bursting out of the fingers on my laptop keyboard. I want to have confidence in my ability to draw out emotions—if from no one else, at least from myself.

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” —Emily Dickinson

And it’s alright if that one heart is mine.

That’s what I want to accomplish in my writing next year, and what a growth that would be!

* I’ve mentioned this in my last post, but I’m recovering from brain surgery, I also have the COVID-19 virus, and I’m working on passing a kidney stone that may be too big to pass. I’m writing 10,000 words a day to get through it—and it’s working. Distraction is everything to me right now.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Like Sof, I have to tag three people here, because I really couldn’t choose just one. My three best friends in the world all influenced my writing in their own ways! <3 (Sorry for deviating a little from the writing thing in some of the following lines, oops. I just have emotions that are all over the place this week!)

@indestinatus — One of a few best friends who has had my back every day for so long now. She listens when I need to talk things out—whether or not I’m talking about writing. She really gets me when I need to be silly, or I need to be serious, or I just really, really need a friend. Also, she inspired me to start learning Portuguese this year, and I’m actually practicing by writing a fic in Portuguese, lol. It’s slow going... but Sof encourages me (and corrects me, haha) whenever I work on it, just as she does with absolutely anything else I work on. Truly, I’ve had few friends in my life that are so special to me, and I love her. I really do.

@why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee — Is there a better cheerleader on this earth? Is there a better friend? Doubtful on both counts. She thinks I’m a disaster—and, by the way, she’s absolutely right—and she sometimes has to remind me to eat and sleep, but she’s totally cool with being my internet mom. Doesn’t matter that she’s nearly a decade younger than I am, lol. All of these things have bolstered me when the writer inside of me has faltered, and she has carried my burdens as I wrote them out. Anyway, she reads everything I write, and she has requested to gain access to all of my unfinished chapters and unpublished works in the event that I die—I completely trust her with that nonsense. I’ve written it into my will. Really. Like with Sof, I genuinely love Tiz, and I’d do anything for her.

@honeybadgerdocare — Best friend of 20 years. She doesn’t watch the same shows that I do, and my endless ranting makes very little sense to her... but she listens. She’s my sounding board for everything I write, everything I read, everything I watch, and everything that gives me big feelings. I genuinely can’t describe how much she has helped me with my writing every single day, so I’ll leave it at this: I could not do it without her. I’d drown in my own struggles and I’d stop creating the art that sustains me. She’s my soulmate—sorry to her fiancé. All of my love goes to her!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

HAHAHAHAHA it’s cute how you think my writing is anything other than a re-organized and fictionalized version of my life and my feelings. Real life shows up in my writing, and my writing shows up in my real life. It gets crazy and obsessive, but like... I had a trip to Israel booked this year (obviously canceled due to the pandemic, but still) because Ziva comes from Israel. (Also because of my Jewish adoration for the spiritual homeland, but the thought of going and the trip planning all started with Ziva.) I went to Baltimore so I could run down an alley yelling “YOU CAN’T OUTRUN ME, I’M WEARING TUBE SOCKS!” to encourage my inner Tony DiNozzo. I nearly froze to death in Washington, D.C. and called my mom every time I saw a little red mini coop that looked like Ziva’s, or came across a place that was featured in an NCIS scene.

And to answer the actual question here, because I obviously flipped it around like the moron I am... when the pandemic canceled things I was desperately looking forward to, I wrote a fic where Tali’s excitedly anticipated dance recital got canceled because of the pandemic. I lost my appendix (last year, but the fic was written this year — does that count?) and wrote a fic where Tali loses hers, too. (I swear, I don’t always write things that torture Tali, lol, these are just my best examples!) When I lost a couple of loved ones this year, I wrote a funeral scene where Tony and Tali remembered Ziva. Writing is definitely free therapy, y’all.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for yourself—write what you love, and you’ll love what you write. That’s all. That’s it. That’s my advice, something I’ve learned this year.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’ve been working on We Are an Ocean for roughly a year now, and 2021 needs to see it finished. I’ve got a number of lovely, dedicated readers who deserve to see the story play out as it’s intended to be played out.

Also, my greatest love right now, In Possibility, will probably write itself to an end in 2021. Or... who knows? Maybe it will worm its way into 2022, too. :-)

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Since I already went into detail about my favorite fic of mine from this year (That We May Forgive), I’ll recommend a different one: The Stars Always Make Me Laugh. It has some of the darkest moments I’ve ever written, but it also has some of the lightest moments I’ve ever written. It was an answer to two different challenges, and if I can say this without sounding arrogant, I think I met the challenges beautifully. It gave me comfort, catharsis, and closure for a few things in my own life... and I hope it comforts my readers, too.

15. Year word count:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT (excuse my French). I just added up my AO3 word count + my current unpublished project, and... my word count is:

428,557.

FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN WORDS

I nearly just fell out of my chair. Goodbye, friends. I am deceased.

#wow wow wow #i'm so sorry for the aggressive feelings here #did not mean to get that effin detailed about my life #but i can't help that my emotions are wildly fluctuating as I fight so many health issues at once #anyway #still on hiatus but #this questionnaire thing soothed my soul #and i enjoyed doing it #thanks for the tag sof!#love you all #about cynthia #personal

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hqnolan · 4 years

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ponyo’s here ; twenty - two , pst , any pronouns ! i currently live next to seattle washington aka the state that’s at 80 degrees yesterday & pouring down rain today . anywho , if you go beneath the read more you can read about my baby nolan ! if there are any spelling mistakes forgive me , i got a kitten ( who’s only five weeks old ) a day ago & she is obsessed with climbing on my laptop only when i’m using it haha . also ; i prefer discord over tumblr ims so feel free to send me a message at jackie fricken burkhart#6145 oh lord , when did this intro get so long ahh

a p p l i c a t i o n

chicago’s very own nolan lovett has been spotted on madison avenue driving a 2020 bmw m4 , welcome ! your resemblance to tom holland is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty - third birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re gullible , but being affable might help you . i think being a leo explains that . three things that would paint a better picture of you would be : plants in every room of his house , the smell of freshly brewed tea every single morning & crusted paint beneath his nails . his parents are trying to set up an arranged marriage before he takes over the family company .

s t a t i s t i c s

full name : nolan jacob lovett

age , dob , zodiac : twenty - three , august 01 , leo

hometown : chicago , illinois

gender , pronouns : cismale , he / him

orientation : pansexual , panromantic

occupation : ceo in training for lovett records , florist & painter on the side

language(s) spoken : english - fluent , french - fluent , spanish - beginner , american sign language - intermediate

pinterest : click here !

b a c k g r o u n d

where to start with this one ? his family is relatively small but known for big things

there’s nolan’s mother who moved to chicago from france to be with senior lovett

there’s nolan’s father who’s family has lived in chicago for generations

then there’s nolan’s older brother . . . the ‘ disappointment ’ according to nolan’s parents

so the lovett’s own a record label that’s pretty big , they have numerous a - list celebrities signed to them & dear lord it’s the only thing nolan’s parents care about

originally , nolan’s older brother was supposed to be trained as ceo to take over the company . but after a recent press - release revealing his excessive drug usage nolan’s parents decided that nolan would take over the company

the lovett’s only announced roughly eight months ago that they were instead going to train up nolan , hence the reason as to why nolan is in new york atm

with the company out of the picture , nolan is infatuated by plants & painting . his condo is filled with different types of plants & he takes pride in growing some of his own food

he’s not too happy that he has to give up his own dreams bc his brother messed up & is no longer taking over the company :/

but nolan has too much love in his heart to let his parents down & tell them that he doesn’t want to be the ceo

on top of that , nolan hates the fact that his parents are trying to set him up for an arranged marriage . but he won’t . . . say anything

for now he’s just going to go along with his parents’ plan for him

h e a d c a n o n s

the sweetest bean you will ever meet

he really wants to be a family type of person , which is part of the reason why he bends over backwards for his parents

is typically optimistic about everything hehe

owns . . . SO MANY plants , they are his children

also owns two dogs because he needs his companions

he really wants to go on an episode of chopped

nolan fits the stereotypical ‘ housewife ’ label . he’s weird & he likes nurturing people , cooking & cleaning

knows how to box ? it’s his outlet tbh so he doesn’t explode on people

ironic bc nolan is also a pacifist . he believes that violence is never the answer

c o n n e c t i o n s

arranged marriage prospect ( 2 / 2 ) - nolan’s parents found two people that they think he would do well paired with in marriage . granted these two aren’t engaged , but nolan’s parents would like some news soon

best friend ( 1 / 1 ) - someone nolan knew from chicago , someone who he actually talks about with his family with & about his true passions

muse ( 2 / 2 ) - nolan really likes painting & sketching , he would love someone to paint or paint on haha . someone he just really enjoys being around & making art of

exes ( 0 / ? ) - short term , long term , good terms , bad terms ; it’s all welcomed for him ! he’s very . . . needy ? that would be the best way to put it

enemies ( 0 / ? ) - someone could dislike him thinking that he’s faking being so nice , they could hate him because his older brother did something to them or even because his parents are a - holes

someone he met through the gym , someone he likes cooking with , a squad would be cute , perhaps people who are signed to the lovett record label , flirtationship , party friends , honestly i’m so open to anything & everything !

#wealthyhq:intro #drug tw #wowow this is a lot longer than i anticipated ;;#lmk if you wanna plot tho !

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sternenteile · 4 years

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MEET THE MUSE!

Rules: Don’t reblog, repost. Reply as muse talking. Tagging: @parasightcd @skyfcx @obsiidianblu @phantasmagories @battleshell @pinkorb @dreamybandee @psychokineticsunshine or just! anyone’a y’all!!! Tagged by: @pistolbitten !! I LOVE U MORE THAN CAKE

► NAME ➭ ❝ my friends call me ‘geno’. let’s go with that... unless you can pronounce ‘♡♪!?’. go ahead, give it a shot! i’m all ears. ❞ ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭ ❝ i am a singular entity, yes. i can do the splits, but not those splits. sorry about that! ❞ it seems geno is not taking the interview too seriously. ❝ now, am i in a relationship? maybe. maybe not. why would you want to know that? that’s weird. you’re kind of weird. ❞ ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ ❝ haha! plenty! ❞ ► ARE YOU ANGRY? ➭ ❝ i just said i was happy. isn’t that a little... contradictory? am i angry that i’m happy? am i happy to be angry? that’d be silly. ❞ ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ ❝ ... yeah, maybe you should have asked some other questions before this one. not applicable, pal. ❞

⚡️ NINE FACTS! ► ‘BIRTH’ PLACE ➭ ❝ the legendary starborn valley! yes, it’s a real place! where it is, however, i’m afraid i can’t tell! ❞ ► HAIR COLOR ➭ ❝ technically, i don’t... uh, i didn’t have any hair, but my star form... ah, it’s complicated. let’s just go with natural red, yeah? ❞ ► EYE COLOR ➭ ❝ a decidedly less natural red. ❞ ► BIRTHDAY ➭ ❝ i haven’t even thought about my birthday much in my life. the best part about a birthday is the cake that comes with it, at least down here... oh, wait, that’s not the question. sorry! september 1st. that’s it. ❞ ► MOOD ➭ ❝ i mean, i thought i got the message across by now that i’m feeling pleasant today ��— and no, not pleasantly angry. that’s not a thing. it isn’t, right? ❞ ► GENDER ➭ ❝ male. guy. dude. ja... broni? i’ve literally been called that, and i still can’t make heads-or-tails of what it’s supposed to mean other than ‘a guy’. during my last stay on earth, let me tell you: slang was never this off-the-wall. ❞ ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ ❝ oh, winter! starborn valley is pretty wintry, and when you grow up in that kind of place... oh, wait—— nope, still not saying where it is. ❞ ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ ❝ i can’t really... choose. time flies differently for me, i guess. different sleep schedules and all that. the morning sunrise is nice to see most days, but the afternoon doesn’t have that. let’s make that the judgment call. morning it is! ❞

⚡️ EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE! ► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭ ❝ we’re talking about this again? why are you so eager to know about...? whatever the case, i have a lot of love to give and people to give it to in varying ways. i’ll let you take that as you will, haha! ❞ ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ ❝ isn’t that a little shallow? that would make it heavily based on looks rather than personality. yeah, i don’t think i jive with that. maybe love at first sight success stories are just... coincidentally perfect matches, a lucky choice. huh... think there’s any studies about this? it sounds like a really interesting read. ❞ ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭ ❝ there was never a ‘last one’, really. ❞ ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭ ❝ you strictly mean romantically? nope, never. that is to say, it’s not happened that i’ve ever known about. wait, what’s that? ‘non-romantically, too’? that’s... kind of... uh... ... ... pass. ❞ ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ ❝ that’s... complicated. i don’t—— like making promises that i can’t keep. stars have a lot of obligations... but i don’t want to be too chained to my duties either. again, complicated. not really a yes, not really a no. ❞ ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ ❝ yeah! actually, try like, the past hour. if there is anything i’m particularly proud of, it’s the fact that i am a hug machine. no one can hug better. don’t let mario tell you otherwise either, or we might be slated for another hug-off. ❞ ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ ❝ i... buh... no...? maybe not? probably not? ❞ ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ ❝ what exactly do you mean? i guess, hm. i... suppose that’s actually true, now that i think about it... ❞

⚡️SIX CHOICES! ► LOVE OR LUST ➭ ❝ love. not at all into the last one, sorry. ❞ ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ ❝ hah! that’s a tough one! gaz’s mom makes a mean lemonade, but have you tried the princess’ tea? she gets the best stuff! sorry, no definitive answer. i’ll take both. ❞ ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ ❝ i’d say i have both in my life, but... my very best friends? they mean too much for me to ever let go. ever. never again. ... ‘what do i mean?’ uh, slip of the tongue. i meant to say ‘nunya’. yeah, ‘nunya business’. h-hahaha—— yeah. ❞ ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ ❝ depends on your definition of a wild night out. frankly, i’ll gladly take either. tough call! ❞ ► DAY OR NIGHT ➭ ❝ night. it reminds me of home —— in a good way. ❞

⚡️ FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS! ► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ ❝ technically, yeah. probably not the kind of ‘sneaking out’ you’re thinking of, though. ❞ ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ ❝ wait, WAIT—— fallen up the stairs? w- wait, snrrk—— who, who does that? how does someone do that? falling down, sure, but falling up?! ❞ ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ ❝ snrrrrkk. falling up... hold on, time out. yeah— yeah, i have, hold on—— i’m gonna bust a gut over here—— hahaha! ❞

⚡️FIVE PREFERENCES! ► SMILE OR EYES ➭ ❝ okay. after a moment’s break and a drink of water, i think i’m fine now. sorry about, uh... that. anyway, nothing really seems to compare to a smile to me. ❞ ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ ❝ shorter! it’s a rare treat to see someone shorter than me! a very, very rare treat. hey, don’t look at me like that—— and tell me what the weather is up there while you’re at it, wise guy. ❞ ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ ❝ attraction is such a loose term. intelligence is really specific, but also... kind of... not? what kind of intelligence? attraction to what? what about attraction to intelligence, or intelligent enough to recognize attraction? it’s... hm. you know what? pass. ❞ ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ ❝ aren’t those both the same thing? ... wait, hook-up is more what now? u- uh—— yeah, no, relationship, easy. ❞

⚡️ FAMILY! ► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ ❝ of course! we all do. all of us that matter, at least. ❞ ouch. sounds like some deep-seated bitterness. ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ ❝ absolutely not! i’ve had some messed up moments in my life, but is it generally messed up? no way. i can especially say that now, i have a wonderful life. ❞ ► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ ❝ hh... mmngh... pass. ❞ ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ ❝ hard pass. ❞

⚡️ FRIENDS! ► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ ❝ why would i hate my friends? isn’t that the exact opposite of, you know, friendship? stars, are there really people with thinking this backwards? ❞ ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ ❝ my closer friends, yes! acquaintances may not be nearly as pivotal to my day-to-day life, sure, but i still appreciate them. don’t get that twisted! i’ve got a lot of love to give. ❞ ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ ❝ i can’t just choose one. i love all of my closest friends very, very dearly. pass. ❞ ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ ❝ every last little thing? someone who understands it all, too? my mother. easily. what’s next? ... that was it? oh, sweet. soooo... where’s that macaroni and cheese meal i was promised? ❞

#★ ; ( ic. )#★ ; ( meme. )#give him his maccy chee

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losingmyjustice · 4 years

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interview the muse !

tagged by: stolen from your local homicidal computer @nurotoxin tagging: considering this was already around last week i’ll just be quiet,,

► ARE YOU SINGLE? ♛ "Always have been, and rest assured I'll die like such. It doesn't bother me." ♘ "I am. I do believe it'll change in the future, but right now I'd rather not burden anyone with my troubles."

► ARE YOU HAPPY? ♛ "Ha. Haha. Ahahaha-!! A little LATE to ask, don't you think?!" ♘ "Time is proving itself ... difficult, although yes — I'd say I'm happy, nonetheless. It'll get better."

► ARE YOU ANGRY? ♛ "I have every fucking reason to be furious. I'm not bloody ignorant, and anyone who's not blind to what's happening should be profoundly enraged." ♘ "Well, yes, but I've learned the hard way that letting your emotions control you will only go awry in the long run. I don't want to cause an Encore. I don't want to step too far again."

► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ♛ "Married happily, and considering they're dead, it won't change anytime soon. That includes dear Constance; she was always a faithful widow." ♘ "Ah, er. Indeed. You could put it that way. They're married, but they're not exactly with us anymore, I'm afraid."

NINE FACTS.

► BIRTH PLACE ♛ "Doesn't matter." ♘ "Somewhere in London — it's not all too far away, actually."

► HAIR COLOR ♛ "Light Brunette" ♘ "... Does it count as Brunette?"

► EYE COLOR ♛ "Dark Brown." ♘ "Dark Brown, just like my Mothers."

► BIRTHDAY ♛ "I ... I don't know. I don't know. I genuinely don't know; it's all a blur to me. Why is it a blur to me-?" ♘ "Pretty sure it's in my interest I don't tell you, but I'm a Scorpio if that helps matters."

► MOOD ♛ "Tired. Tired. Tired-!! I'm tired of all of this—!" ♘ "... Mm. Troubled. Antsy. There's so much that can go wrong, but. No going back now—"

► GENDER ♛ "A fuckin' Trainwreck that is out of commission." beat. "— MALE. Jesus Christ, don't look at me as if you took that seriously-!" ♘ "Male."

► SUMMER OR WINTER ♛ "Whatever kills me first." ♘ "Oh, Spring!"

► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ♛ "I don't even know what time it is as we speak, and you expect me to pick a favourite time of the day?! Ask someone who can actually keep a track on these." ♘ "Afternoon — It would have been Morning, but, Dreycott sort of ruined that for me."

EIGHT QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ♛ "Never have been." ♘ "I ... might be, but, like I said, right now 's not a good time to be thinking about these things."

► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ♛ "HAH! HAHA— HA," ♘ "... No. Love takes time and patience."

► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ♛ "I've cut everyone out of my life for something I'll never accomplish. So, go figure." ♘ "... Me, though it was for the best."

► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ♛ "Most Likely." ♘ "I, well, am not aware of it, at least."

► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ♛ "Oh, please. To decline would assume I'd ever even have that option. But I'd not be deserving for anything long-term, neither is it possible." ♘ "Hey, fear is a harsh word. Just, it's not something to even remotely consider before I'm out of this hell."

► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ♛ "I'll shoot anyone who dare considers stepping close." ♘ "... No, I'm only home during the holidays after all, seeing how I'm on a boarding school."

► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ♛ "Oh goodness, do I sure have bad news for them if so-!" ♘ "Surely not. I know I've gotten an anonymous letter before, but I can assure you it wasn't real — seeing when it was sent."

► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ♛ "Who knows who trampled it into shards and pieces." ♘ "It's inevitable."

SIX CHOICES.

► LOVE OR LUST ♛ "Love." ♘ "LOVE-! I can't believe that's not self-evident!"

► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ♛ "Disgusting. The lot of you are the reason why I suddenly have to specify that I want my tea hot — never had to do that at home, it's ridiculous." ♘ "Look me into the eyes as I cheat the system and pick lemon iced tea, ha!"

► CATS OR DOGS ♛ "Eurgh. Both of them are a pain in their own ways." ♘ "I always wanted to have a cat, though I'm allergic ... so I'd go with that."

► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ♛ "..." ♘ "A few best friends. Even if I wanted to work alone at first — wouldn't it be for them, I'd not be where I am today."

► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ♛ "Leave. Me. Alone." ♘ "Night in, preferred."

► DAY OR NIGHT ♛ "Don't have a track on that either. The moon can be deceivingly bright, you know..? I'm joking. It's a joke. Quit it, will you." ♘ "Night."

FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS.

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ♛ "Obviously." ♘ "Ahaha ... yes."

► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ♛ "Happens far too often, it's not even funny." ♘ "... Both!"

► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ♛ "If you got the GUTS to ask then make it STOP." ♘ "Haven't we all?"

► WANTED TO DISAPPEAR ♛ "I should have disappeared years ago. Now I'm dealing with the repercussions for having stalled it too long — unable to die, despite begging." ♘ "My mind was in a dark place some time ago. But, dear Constance has helped me shed some light."

FOUR PREFERENCES.

► SMILE OR EYES ♛ "Smiles are deceiving, I from all people should know. Eyes." ♘ "You'd be surprised how much a bright smile could lighten up someone's day, despite the circumstances!"

► SHORTER OR TALLER ♛ "Y'know, short people make an excellent arm rest-!" ♘ "No preference."

► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ♛ "Intelligence." ♘ "Intelligence."

► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ♛ "Is it so difficult to understand, that, all I want is something that can knock me out enough for the years to run out without me having to live in these?! Are you seriously just going to ask these questions here, as if either would be even remotely pleasant?!" ♘ "Relationship."

FAMILY.

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ♛ "We did." ♘ "Of course we do! I had difficulties warming up to her at first when she adopted me, but that's behind us."

► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ♛ "Oh, you know." ♘ "Mm ... I don't like talking about it, but, yes."

► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ♛ "The places I run away from, I do not consider as 'home'." ♘ "NO!"

► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ♛ "From Home? No." ♘ "NO!!"

FRIENDS.

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ♛ "Which Friends." ♘ "I don't, they're my friends after all. Though I do have it difficult to warm up more to Gemma. That's just a topic of trust, however. I'd never hate her."

► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ♛ "..." ♘ "Good as in, not toxic? Then yes, else I'd not hold them so close."

► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ♛ "Ha ... ha ..." ♘ "You're not going to make me choose between the two, here."

► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ♛ "Not even I do." ♘ "I suppose a future-self would, right?"

#words from the reporter [IC]#it’s friday and the house is burning [memes]#suicide ideation tw #why the fuck is he more mature as a teen thats not f #a glim of memory worth saving [saved]

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pursuingideals-moved · 5 years

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Hiya everyone! I want to say thank you for everything. It had been one year when I have this blog. So yay, pursuingideals had turn one year old! This make me very happy and not only that, right now I have 88 followers. ^^ So thank you everyone, thank you for following me, rping with me, interacting with me. You guys are one of the main reasons that this blog is still here. There are many times I am worry that my Kunikida is not good enough but I hope you enjoy rping with me and my portrayal of Kunikida. I know there are other more amazing and popular Kunikida blogs than me but I am still thankful for the people who follow and rp with my Kunikida. You guys all help this blog turn one year old. So thank you everyone for following me! Thank you for all the fun times you gave me! Thank you for helping this blog be alive! Thank you for rping with me! Thank you for being patient with me since I am a slow partner. Also I just find it funny that today is also my father’s birthday (August 26) so lol this blog and my father both turn a year older and Kunikida is kinda like a dad (well more like a mom but still) haha. I was feeling lazy and would just want to only tag people like I did when my Regulus blog became three years old but nah since my Kunikida just became one year old, I will do more than that.

@aiolia-leo / @luminos-red / @minerva-the-witch / @altered-aegis / @durkhankes

Afelle, hey you and Zaria are like my best friends on tumblr haha. XD Well, Zaria isn’t rping on tumblr anymore so it is just you but you know how much I love rpng with you whether it is with Regulus or Kunikida. Minerva and Kunikda are such good friends…more than just good friends lol, it will take a while for Kunikida to notice while Minerva is aware of her feelings already. But one day Kunikida will notice his feelings and he and Minerva are going to be one badass and cute couple. Kunikida and Lumina’s interactions are so cute, he is like the father Lumina wants. Ahhh and when Minerva and Kunikida get together, Lumina can call him daddy! Aiolia and Kunikida are good friends too. It is funny how Aiolia is like the older brother/mentor to Regulus and now he is the younger one in this relationship since Kunikida is so responsible and Aiolia looks up to him despite being higher status and Kunikdia sees him as a more responsible Leo saint than Regulus haha. Kohaku, oh so much things to say. While Kohaku is originally an evil character, he is completely different in the Bungou Stray Dogs verse, he is trying to learn how to be good again with Kunikida’s help. Kunikida is like that father and teacher that Kohaku need. I just love their relationship so much. Luke, Dei and Kunikida, while Kunikida doesn’t know a lot about them yet, he does respect them and lol I bet the more they know of him, the more Luke wants to hire him because he is so responsible and hardworking haha. But anyway, so many muses and threads and fun times between us. ^^ It is unfortunate that the Bungou Stray Dogs fandom is not interest in rping with you but hey as long as we have fun with each other. (Hopefully this will help get you some followers, jk I highly doubt that unfortuantely but ah well) Thank you, Afelle!

@thesoaringaquila

Hey Jemi! Our threads between Kunikida and Kallistrate is so much fun. It is always fun to see Kallistrate constantly teasing Kunikida and at least with her teasing, she seem to genuinely wants Kunikida to lighten up and not be so serius and uptight while Dazai’s teasing seem to poke more fun to annoy Kunikida more haha. It would be interesting to see their friendship grow more and see how they interact with each other more. Lol, now wait and see when Kallistrate ever see Kunikida’s list of ideal requirements for a romantic partner, she would be horrified. XD (cross out that requirements) So thank you for rping with me!

@muses-galore

Hi! First of all, Tetsu is such a cute oc. I know there isn’t a lot of interaction between Tetsu and Kunikida yet and Kunikida seems to scare Tetsu but lol he isn’t scary just too serious for his own good. XD But I am sure they will get more interaction and later when Tetsu get to know him better, he would see that Kunikida isn’t as scary and nice just like Regulus said he is. But thank you for rping with me!

@pxrtalmxster

Hey Kayla! Your oc, Kayla is very interesting, I can see that you put a lot of thought and development into her. I had fun rping with her. Our threads are so interesting, I mean I think our threads are the only ones that actually goes into depth and explores more of both characters, Kunikida and Kayla and I love that. I wish I would have more threads that explore the character but for some reason, it is strange cause our thread is the only that does that. (Lol, while for Regulus, I have more threads like that with him even if he is a more simple guy and Kunikida is more complex….) Not only that, Kayla and Kunikida’s relationship is interesting and complicated. They are not fully friends but at the same time, kind of are, as I said complicated. Kunikida is just confuse by Kayla and want to understand her more and Kayla is still keeping secrets and can see Kunikida is a good guy but not someone who could understand her. It is unfortunate that many people in the Bungou Stray Dogs is not interest in rping with your oc but I do hope you have fun rping with other people including me. ^^

@somegremlin / @setsunanoai

Hey Stella! I love your Yumeno so much. He had suffer so much and deserve happiness and a normal life as a child not as a prisoner of the mafia (I mean he lives in a prison instead of a room) And you know he can finally get the life he want in our au! I just love Kunikida fatherly relationship towards Yumeno so much! He just wants to give Yumeno a better life and help guide him to be a better person too. Yumeno is finally happy with the agency. As for Atsushi and Kunikida, I would have never expect us to have the crack thread haha but this would be fun. Lets have fun watching Atsushi and Kunikida in silly hats catch the criminal! Ahh overall,I love our threads and thank you for rping with my Kunikida.

@a-hell-of-a-lot-of-muses

Hey Saki! I know I mostly rp with Nathaniel and Margaret and I enjoy the threads with you and them so much. The threads between Margaret and Kunikida are more light heart but still fun especially with them getting along and Kunikida being pleased that at least someone understands that one must have ideal requirements for a romantic partner (and then watch as Margaret becomes horrified if she ever saw Kunikida’s ideal requirements, hadn’t happen yet but lol you never know) And Nathaniel and Kunikida, our threads are more heavier and enjoyable as we explore their interactions. It is interesting to see Nathaniel being free from Fyodor’s brainwashing and deal with the aftermath of it and how he is slowly trying to regain his memory and along the way Kunikida is going to help him. :) It would so much fun to explore and I am excited for the potential relationship between the two.

@diverse-hearts

Hey Mira! I know you have so many muses haha but I rp with your Chuuya, Odasaku and Strelitzia and I enjoy our threads. I know you keep saying you are slow but I am so much slower than you. I mean you have so many muses and threads compare to me but seem to be faster than me haha. I know I am not as interactive as your other muns but I just want to let you know I still find our threads enjoyable. I am excited to see how Odasaku, Strelitzia and Chuuya interaction with Kunikida grow since all of our threads are still just establishing things between them. Thank you for rping with me!

@yokohamaweretiger / @mishmashofmuses / @thestraydcgs

Hey Hunter! It has been fun rping with your Atsushi, Karma, Ranpo, Dazai and Jelle. I know I am a usually quiet person but I enjoy our coversations as well as all the quotes and posts you send me on discord. ^^ I know we have a lot of threads as of right now and of course take your time with them but I am always excited when you reply whether it is for Atsushi with so many verses (vampire, royal, main), Ranpo with the carrot cake, Dazai and his teasing and Jelle with his crush on Kunikda and Kunikida’s confusing feelings haha. Cause we both know Jelle and Kunikida will end up together haha. But yeah thank you for rping with me. ^^

@nullcfied / @invcin / @distorticnist / @nythz

Your Dazai is amazing and I have enjoy rping with you. I had always want to explore more deeply the relationship between Dazai and Kunikida and it has been hard to do when most of my other threads are just fun threads where Dazai bothers Kunikida as always but I am glad I can explore that with you. I enjoy our threads even if none were finish haha and I am super slow but it is the development between the two in our threads is interesting. Maybe those two would develop into somthing more, we will see. And even if I never rp with Kunikid with your multimuse blog, I still enjoy our threads between Regulus with N and Alcor. Our threads between Kunikida and Mishima are also enjoyable and even though we hadn’t gone far yet with Nyth, I am sure it would be an enjoyable thread. So thank you for rping with me.

@odigcs / @tryferotis

Hey Juh! I know Kunikida and Eleni doesn’t have a lot of interactions yet but I am still happy that we rp together. I can’t wait until Kunikida finds out about Eleni’s powers, he is going to be so freak out haha. XD But thank you for rping with both of my muses and I always enjoy our coversations between us especially our current on where we talk about Eleni and Regulus’ views on heroes, evil, good and death and I think that is all it was one long conversation hahaha.

There are so many others too that I rped, seen on dashboard, haven’t rp yet (and would love to rp with you) or rarely interact. I still want to say thank you. Again, I am only going to include people had been active and not others who had been inactive since they had left already. Thank you for being amazing and following and rping with me and the fun times together:

@metuereofnoctis, @deviantsbliss, @art-of-playing-god, @madame-sand / @pxtrified-forest, @thekindchefofhoritsuba, @onceuponalosttime, @abyssalreded / @flutheld, @cybersnw, @merrywandering / @carnageblossomed / @vivificamortem / @prodigiousvisions, @runwith-thewind / @hopeful-hugz, @tigerscorn, @fiercegravity, @deinox, @fllawllessness, @bandagedbastard, @nylliver, @mockingfeathers, @blxnkbooks, @oxidizedream, @hexfaul, @bxstxrd-king @errantscriptor, @killmoral, @thehouseofthedead, @bornfromhcpe, @theholylight, @godshunned, @stray-doqs, @empyrrrean, @arcadiianliives, @acricaleo, @diivinidad, @bldscrm / @rshmn / @dcdbtc / @frthtntdsrrw / @lghtsnw, @foolslcve, @schxchterndschlau / @kunstneugiier / @mafiasbesten / @mafiaelltern / @mondlichtannulliert / @eiingebiildet / @kopiertrxumend / @diiegruppe, @nolongerbeneaththemoonlight, @memoriiascriipta / @quxtcthcrxvcn, @straylcved, @strongestofhorns, @carmellian

I hope that is everyone. I am sorry if I miss some people. I want to thank everyone who support me.

#THANK YOU EVERYONE!#mun speaking

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mfackenthal · 5 years

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The MFackenthal Show with Special Guest @ownworldresident!

banner by @whenyourheartskipsabeat

Megs: Hello everyone! Welcome to another episode of “The MFackenthal Show!” Many many thanks to everyone who tuned in for the last episode. The response to the return of the show has been truly fantastic and humbling. It’s wonderful to have so many of you in our audience today!

Please give your warmest welcome to tonight’s special guest @ownworldresident!

Alex: Hey! *comes in waving* Great to be here, thanks for inviting me Megs I'm honoured! *gives bear hug* I'm a big fan of hugs. *collapses dramatically into comfortable looking teal lounge chair*

Megs: *Laughs* Well, make yourself comfortable, my friend.

Alex: Oh, you know I will!

Megs: Yes, yes I do. So I hear that you’re working on a book! Should I start calling you AJ?

Alex: Okay so ... as readers of Something Unexpected will know my name is Alex. My pen name, recently decided, is A. J. Brooks. *grins like an idiot* I give you permission to call me Alex.

Megs: Okay ... AJ ... so tell me, when did you join this crazy place we call the tumblr choices fandom?

Alex: I guess I could say I joined in about November? I started playing choices in August, because what better time to start than in the final semester of your bachelor's degree? I posted my first fic on Choices Archive which was unbelievably shit (the fic not the site!). I read A Royal Mate by @hopefulmoonobject aka Nesha and was inspired to write “You, The Lion” around chapter…. 6? I stalked Nesha to Tumblr, which I've never used before, and set up @ownworldresident, thus began the end of my social life. Courtesy of a design degree it was already pretty rocky.

Megs: Who needs a social life when we have choices, tumblr, and fanfic, right?

Alex: Right! We all need AUs to carry us through to the next chapter.

Megs: Speaking of the next chapter ... have you read all of the choices books?

Alex: Hehe… *grins sheepishly* I have not. I have, however, played TRR enough times to have played every book twice over.

Megs: Yeah, I think we’ve all done that! Okay, so who do you stan in TRR?

Alex: *in a monotone* Oh, gosh, what a difficult question. Gosh Meg that's so hard to answer… *feigns thoughtfulness, then grins and speaks normally* if Liam isn't gripping the headboard with one hand to steady himself… What's the point of playing?

Megs: I’ll answer that with one word: Drake.

Alex: *rolls her eyes* And that’s my cue to leave the stage. *Alex starts to get out of her chair*

*Megs grabs her arms to keep her in the chair.*

Megs: Nooooo! Stay! Tell us what you do when you’re not writing fics! Geeze!

Alex: Haha, you know I’d never leave you, beautiful! Okay, what do I do when I’m not writing fics ... I write my novel, reblog writing advice, play choices, chat to (and spam with excerpts) Nesha, Alicia, Stef, Urica, Pam, and you of course, also I have friends here but I'm not sure if they know I'm alive … I mean, I think I went out last month. This is specifically for Alicia - HE WILL REMAIN FRIENDZONED.

Megs: Awh, maybe you need to give this guy a chance?

Alex: Oh gosh, not you too! Stop! FRIENDZONED!

Megs: I’m just saying, sometimes the friend can be the *eyebrows raise twice* “friend.”

Alex: So, I’m from Australia! I was born in Perth (Western Australia), grew up in country WA, moved over to Melbourne to get a big fancy degree from a big fancy Uni, which i did *lifts fists in victory* and I love it here! Lots of ... um ... hot guys. But I spend all my time as a resident of my own world so don't actually see them much. I think I will need to go to Europe to find myself a Rhys.

Megs: nice deflection ... and we’re back to Liam. Hahah! Okay, okay, so as anyone who follows you on tumblr knows, you love to talk about writing. Tell us about your writing process.

Alex: What's a ‘process? *frowns quizzically* I haven't really trained myself enough to have one. I have a muse, she is incredible, if I'm stuck I give her a problem and go and do other things and my tigress works on it in the background. For example the last big thing I wanted was a new story to write, so about a week later I was washing dishes or something and she went LIAM BANGS AN ASSASSIN and that's how The Mark came about. In case you were wondering or something. i also really like walking through forests, that really puts me in touch with my tigress. It's how You The Lion started. *shrugs* otherwise it's just when I feel like it. If I'm angsty I write Rayne. If I'm frustrated (at myself) I write Anna. If I'm excited I write SU with Nesha. If I'm focused I write my novel. *smirks* that's it! *chuckles*

Actually, Megs, are you up for an acting challenge?

Megs: Don’t you know it! Did you bring a script with you?

Alex: Oh, just a snippet of my favourite passage of all I have ever written. It’s Liam and Lisa's argument. It’s love and trust and loss and honesty and pain, it’s really a pity they were too badly injured for angry sex. *winks*

Megs: I call reading Lisa’s lines!

Alex: Wha? Oh, okay, I’ll play Liam ...

*both ladies stand up in the middle of the stage and read overly dramatically*

Liam/Alex: “I thought you loved me Lisa…”

Lisa/Megs: “Of course I love you!”

Liam/Alex: “Then that should be enough to just my judgement…”

Lisa/Megs: “YES! It should! It should be enough to trust and yet you don’t! You don’t trust me, you’re blinded by him and how DARE you use your rank over me! I don’t give a shit what your reasoning was Liam that is not okay.”

Liam/Alex “It was to -”

Lisa/Megs: “Keep me safe! Guess what! I can defend myself, as if you didn’t know that. I told you, you should have believed me, because you said you loved and trusted me EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T and that should be enough!”

Alex: And end scene!

*The ladies take a bow*

I don't know if it makes sense without context and its only the dialogue but I love it! You were a decent Lisa. Though I’m not sure Lisa would have been quite so dramatic about it.

Megs: You weren’t a half-bad Liam. But i know he would have been more dramatic than you were being! *wink*

*Both Alex and Megs starts to return to their seats - but Alex gets to Meg’s chair first. Megs slowly goes to sit in the comfy teal green chair and gives Alex the side eye.*

Alex: So Megs ... when and why did you decide to review and interview fanfic writers?

Megs: What is it with my guests thinking they get to take over asking the questions?! *Megs shakes her head in disbelief* Hmm ... the first spotlight post/MFackenthal show was just over a year ago on May 5, 2018. At that time, I wasn’t writing any fanfiction, but I wanted to give back to the community. I don’t think I had even done a review post yet. By that time I had written some posts to wish authors happy birthday or to highlight someone’s work that I was in love with ... but I had 100 followers and I wanted to celebrate that. @maxattack-powell, @tmarie82, @lizeboredom, and a few others who aren’t here any more helped me come up with a way to spotlight the fanfic authors and I wrote a pilot episode of the Mfackenthal Show. Ellen saw it, gave me this show, and the rest is history as they say.

Alex: I love that you wanted to give back! One last question ... *leans elbow on side of chair and rests chin on fingers to look at you, narrowing gaze* ... tell us one of your most fantastical Drake related dreams. Maybe you or someone can turn it into a one shot?

Megs: Alex! Oh my gosh! Hahaha! Hmmm ... okay ... well, the story would be an AU. The MC, Megs - cause all the MCs are named Megs in my stories, is a Princess of a small country, but she’s gone into hiding because someone is after her and her family. She goes to Cordonia and asks to help manage Liam’s social season. She needs to stay behind the scenes so she can’t be in it. She convinces Bastien, Liam, and Drake that she would be a good counselor/therapist for Liam - help him make decisions about who would be the best partner for him. Of course, both Liam and Drake end up falling in love with Megs. As always, Drake believes himself to be unworthy because he knows that Megs is a princess. Megs is always very clear that she’s not in love with Liam and is in love with Drake. All the forces keep Megs and Drake apart. Drake eventually helps Megs get back to her country and Megs gets injured in a battle when she tries but fails to save her father from being murdered. This means that Megs has to take the throne. Drake tries to live without her, heading back to Cordonia. Drake and Megs finally get together after her country and Cordonia enter trade negotiations and Liam sends Drake to make those negotiations.

Alex: *sighs* Megs, that’s beautiful.

Megs: Thanks! Probably not a one-shot though.

Alex: Probably not. Alright - well, your producers are telling me that it’s almost time to wrap up the show. So, I think it’s time for you and your audience to learn to do the shuffle! So stand up.

*stands and looks at you expectantly until you do the same*

okay now drink this …

Megs: uh ...

Alex: Just drink it! It's not poison *smirks as you drink and splutter then shrugs at your horrified expression and drinks the other half* don't worry it's just tequila. Okay follow me, stand there… music please… let's do this.

*proceeds to teach and dance and drink more and kiss the cameraman and fall over then get up and keep dancing like nothing happened*

--- several minutes later, both collapsed and grinning and slightly drunk ---

Please don't analyze me. I have a lot of problems. Urk.

Megs: We’ll save the analysis for after the show! (hiccups) Alright folks (hic!) I guess it’s time to go!

Alex: *drunkenly* Omgosh I LOVE this fandom. Everyone is so friendly and (predominantly) positive *side eyes you* and creative and supportive and talented! I love you all. Thank you for being you, and if you interact with me, my fics, or anything I post, I consider myself honoured thank you!! To the fandom I will say keep being who you are. Every single one of you is incredible *shrugs excitedly, grinning*.

Megs: Have a great night, all! Don’t drink and drive! Love you all!!!!

And now for the tags! If you want to be added to the tag list for these or removed, please let me know! They won’t come out every day, I promise!

@hopefulmoonobject @queen-among-writers

#The MFackenthal Show #Official episode 4 #but really episode 5 #I'm not drunk - you're drunk #Alex is a pusher!#She got Liam drunk this same way once #Tequila may be poison though #That was a set of dreams I had about Drake and Liam #Really couldn't be a one shot #We really do love you all though!

28 notes · View notes

aescapisms · 6 years

Text

disconnected [6]

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

word count: 4.3k

taglist: @berruneko09 @vechkinfan @ria132love @haha-barnes @fantasticsofa

a/n: HEY GUYS!!! THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER OF DISCONNECTED but i’m planning to add 2 short chapters just for fun or something....

Sebastian arrived to an empty house. There was no sign of you anywhere, you must've been out he thought. That was until he heard a melody coming from your room. A sweet voice accompanied by a rhythmic guitar. It was the first time that he heard you sing and he immediately fell in love with your voice.

For a few minutes he stood by your door listening, trying to figure out what song you were singing. But he figured that listening to the original wouldn't compare to your version of the song. God damn, he had it bad for you.

Feeling a bit creeped out by standing outside your door he decided to knock to announce his presence. "I'm home." He heard something fall down which earned a loud curse from you before you opened the door. Before he knew it you already have your arms wrapped around him in a tight hug, "I missed you."

Sebastian didn't want to think too much into it, but lately he can't help but put meaning behind your actions. Every text, every smile, every hug even your laughter makes him think that you like him too. The past few weeks while he was filming all he could think about was you. He had thought about the possibilities of you and him being together, and in every single one there's always a reason for you to leave him. Chris assured him that he sees you as his sister but Sebastian doesn't know if you see Chris as a brother.

"You didn't tell me you'd be back today!" You exclaimed as you broke away from the hug. Sebastian smiled despite his heart sinking from his chest from the absence of your touch. "Its a surprise, doll. If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise anymore."

Your laughter echoed around the apartment and he had never felt more at home than he did at that very moment.

A few hours after Sebastian arrived you decided to cook to properly welcome him home.

"Hey, what was the song that you were singing earlier?" He asked which startled you, and almost made you drop the pan. "Careful."

"Jeez, Sebby. Don't do that!" He shrugged and sat at the counter top and watched as you worked. "I don't know what the title of the song was. How long were you listening for?" You asked him as you poured the food into the bowl. That was a lie. You knew the title of the song, Blue eyes, you were the one writing it. It was scary admitting the fact that you wrote a song and used him as your muse.

"Go set up some plates. I'm done cooking, there's ice cream in the fridge that we can eat afterwards." He got to his feet and immediately grabbed some plates and set up the table.

The both of you ate in silence, he only looked up at you to to smile and tell you that he loves your cooking. You returned the smile and ignored the butterflies in your stomach.

As you sat there looking at Sebby, you wondered to yourself what would happened if you told him who you are. You worried that it would cause a rift between the two of you, what you have right now is so good and you don't want to ruin that.

You were wrapping Christmas presents in your room when Chris knocked on your door. Sebastian went out to get some last minute Christmas shopping. "Hey, do you need any help in wrapping your presents over there?" He asked when he opened the door.

"Yes please. These are presents that my little brother asked for, and something for my parents." Chris smiled and sat down in front of you. he grabbed the gift wrapper and the laptop. "Do you miss them?"

"Yes, not a day goes by that I don't." You gave him a sad smile, "How about you? You miss your family?"

"I do but I get to see them anytime that I want. You can't."

"That's true," you muttered as you reached for the scissors, "But I'll get to see them in March so, it'll be great. We'll be celebrating our Christmas and New Year then." You were sad that you won't be able to be celebrate it with them but you still tried to stay positive in the situation. "Besides, I get to spend it with you guys. That's good enough right?"

Chris laughed "Well we're the next best thing. Dodger will be here later, and a couple of friends. Also, what did you get for Seb?"

You rolled your eyes at him and he just shrugged “What? You didn’t get him anything? You can probably place some crumpled up tissue in a box and he’d still be thankful for it. Or you know, you can just confess your feelings for him, that kind of give will last him for a lifetime.”

“I got him a present okay. No need to be an asshole. I’m just not entirely sure if he would like it.”

The night came by fast and people started to come in. Chris helped you place your gifts under the Christmas tree. Everyone was laughing and mingling with each other. Chris introduced you to his friends, most of them were his friends from work. Everyone was talking about everything except for work. Chris made sure that there was a strictly no work talk policy in the apartment for that night. You agreed, you didn’t want to lie to all those people either.

You were talking to Tom, a tall British guy who speaks like he was from the time of Shakespeare, when Sebastian arrived. The both of you immediately locked eyes and he went straight to you, you excused your self and told Tom that it was lovely talking to him before you left. “Where have you been? “ He smiled and hugged you, “I bought presents.” You pointed at the Christmas tree and he got what you were trying to say.

After talking with the guests Sebastian and Chris helped you out with handing out foods for the guests. Everyone was having fun, even Dodger was too. You kept on playing with him until he got tired and slept inside Sebastian’s room.

Sebastian, you noticed, never left your side that night. And your mind kept on replaying what Chris told you earlier in the day “just confess your feelings for him”. You had thought about that since your birthday. You had some time to mull over the thought and looking at Sebastian now, smiling at you, maybe it was the time to take that risk.

“Hey Sebby, can we uh, can we talk?” Sebastian looked at you and nodded “In private. Let’s talk in the pool.”

Hearing the words “Can we talk?” made Sebastian nervous. Nothing good ever comes from that. So when you left the room, he followed. He clutched the gift he bought for you in his pocket he took a deep breath and went outside. Sebastian noticed the way you were holding your breath when the both of you reached your destination.

Sebastian’s overthinking got cut off when you handed him a small neatly wrapped box. The words ‘Merry Christmas’ was written on the ribbon itself. “I didn’t have the space, and i didn’t have a cute paper to put the greeting at.” Sebastian laughed, you never fail to surprise him. “Chris and I talked on my birthday and it got me thinking that he was right.”

“Right about what?”

“Love is scary, and unpredictable but that is not everything that love is, and what I feel, I don’t think I can really hide it anymore. I mean I can but I don’t think that I would want to.” Sebastian’s heart is beating so loud he thought his ribcage would break, he knows what’s going to happen next. He’s scared. He saw everything that could go wrong. So when you said the words ‘I love you’ he took a step back. And that told you everything that you thought you needed to know.

“Hey. Where were you? Everyone was looking for the both of you.” Chris asked when he saw you in the hallway. “Where’s Seb? What happened?” He asked when he saw your eyes.

“I read the signs wrong.” you muttered. “He doesn’t like me that way.” Chris shook his head, “No that can’t be right—“

“I’m okay. We’re okay. I told him that it didn’t matter. It’s okay.”.

Watching someone put a physical distance between you and him after you had just confessed is a sure sign that you are rejected. Your heart shattered to pieces, but you didn’t let him know that. “I’m not asking you to love me back. I’m not expecting for anything when I decided to confess. Its just, so hard to bottle it all up inside of me. If you want to keep your distance I’ll understand. But I don’t want you to act differently around me. I understand everything okay?”

“Y/N look—“

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay.”

As soon as you were sure that you were out of his sight, you clutched your heart and cried. You had expected to be rejected, you expected it to be painful. What you didn’t expect was how much it hurt, it was the kind of hurt that you would rather shatter every single bone of your body than feel this way.

You woke up that morning with a box on your pillow which says “Hey, I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you and him last night. Here’s the list of movies that you should watch, you should watch it with him. It might help both of you fix what you’re going through.”

You chuckled, ‘Yeah right. As if a movie marathon will solve everything.’ but then you thought that it would be a great way to get things back the way it used to be. The both of you used to have movie marathons together so it shouldn’t bother you as much right?

So you opened the box which revealed a flash drive, you headed outside to set everything up.

“Good morning.” You greeted when you saw Sebastian in the kitchen. “Why are you in the kitchen?”

“It’s actually 2 in the afternoon, I’m making you some brunch.”

“It’s 2 AM? Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”

“I told them not to, you needed to rest. Besides, I think Chris went there to wake you up but that didn’t work so I didn’t think anyone else could wake you up.”

You stared at him as you made your way to the t.v, you noticed his puffy eyes and you couldn’t help but wonder if he cried. “I don’t think Chris woke me up. He did leave a gift though. Come on, let’s go watch.”

You told him as you set everything up. You saw Sebastian stop in his tracks. “What are we going to watch?”

You shrugged, “Chris said that it might help so its either an inspirational video or its porn. If its porn I swear I’ll be the one to kill him. I know how to hide a body.”

That made Sebastian laugh but he was still wary about the movies. After living with him you’ve learned to read his micro-expressions, he was an open-book.

Sebastian sat on the couch but kept his distance, it was okay, you thought. It was for the best, besides the both of you can’t just sleep and hope to forget everything that had happened last night right?

“I think, what Chris is trying to do is kinda help us both into getting to what we were before.” You told him while you played with the remote control. “We used to do things like this before, and all I want is for us to go back to the way we were. I mean, you’re my best friend. I’m not saying that we should get over it in an instant and I'm not going to blame you if you kept your distance, I just want you to know that if you to go back to the way it was before, that’s more than okay for me.”

You didn’t wait for his answer because the thought of him saying anything scared you, so you just clicked play on the remote and watched as the red banner with the word MARVEL come out on the screen.

“Marvel.” you muttered, "obviously not a porn movie. That’s good.”

But it wasn’t good. Not for Sebastian. He expected this to happen but he didn’t know how to react. “Steve thought it might help.” But Sebastian knew it was just going to cause more trouble.

“You know Marvel?” Sebastian asked you, and you spared him a nod, “Yeah, my brother told me to watch it but I never got around to do it. I was always busy with work. But I heard its great.”

Sebastian didn’t look at the screen, he just stared at your face. He wants to stop the film, but he knows that sooner or later the truth will be revealed and might as well let it happen now.

When Steve’s face showed up he saw your mouth open wide in shock. “Wait, is that—?? No. What?? Wait Chris????” You asked and turned to him for confirmation. Sebastian swallowed the lump in his throat and then nodded. You turned your attention back on the screen when you heard a familiar voice “Hey, pick on someone your own size.”

That was when you lost your shit. It was Sebastian Stan. “What the fuck??” Sebastian tried to formulate his thoughts in order to give you a reasonable explanation, but he was struggling. Dear god the poor man was struggling.

You grabbed the remote and paused the movie and turned around to face him. “You’re an actor?” Sebastian nodded. “Is that why you didn’t want to be with me?”

“Yes.” You must’ve looked hurt because Sebastian immediately said that it wasn’t like that. “No, I mean I want to be with you. Dear god I really want to but this is my life and I don’t want to drag you into this and I don’t even know if you would want to be dragged into this.”

This must be the most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened. You wanted to laugh at the fact that the both of you were fucking idiots for not just confronting each other and telling the truth. If you had, this wouldn’t have happened. “Sebby, how would you know if you didn’t tell me in the first place?”

Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair, “Because I was afraid that I would lose you.” You grabbed his hand and held it tightly, “Its going to take a lot more to make me leave you Sebby. It’s going to take a hell lot more to make me stop loving you.” That was the second time that you told him that you loved him, yet he still couldn’t say it back to you. He was still scared, and you looked at him as if you understood his dilemma. “I’m not asking you to say it back Sebby. I can wait, if you want me to.”

“Thank you.” was the only thing he said before he hugged you but that made you feel like you were floating in the skies. That was enough for you, but now you’re going to have to tell him about your life. And you know just the perfect way to do it.

“What’s this?” Sebastian asked when you handed him an envelope. “Open it, dumdum.” You wondered how is it that once you got together you started calling him weird nicknames. It’s only been 2 months and you’ve already called him almost thirty different nicknames ranging from love to dumbass.

He rolled his eyes at you but followed your instructions. “Tickets, these are tickets for a concert? Tonight.”

“Yes! Are you free tonight though? Cause I would really want you to go there don’t worry, you’ll be in a VIP section and it’s going to be fun I promise. You’ve been stressed lately and I figured that you would benefit from that.”

“You’re not going?” He asked when you grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder. “I’m going to be there just not in the VIP box. Can’t have people see us right? But i’ll see you after the show, we can grab some pizza on the way home.” You explained to him. He pouted which made you laugh, “Aww, don’t be like that. You look like a puppy I swear.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Everyone loves puppies. Anyone who says otherwise is a spawn of satan. I’ll see you later okay? I have to go to work.” You were about to leave but he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him. “I don’t want you to go.”

You giggled as he buried his face on your neck “It tickles!!!” that didn’t stop him, just made him do it more. “I’ll see you later okay? I have a surprise for you. I hope you’ll still like me after the said surprise.”

“Hmm.” He said loosening his grip on your waist. “If you’re scared that I won’t like you after the surprise, why are you still planning on showing me or giving me the said surprise?”

“Because,” you said as you stood up only to lean down to kiss him in the cheeks, “No more secrets between us, besides i’ve planned this ever since that night in the pool so here’s to hoping you’d still like me.”

“Don’t worry doll, I’m sure whatever it is I’d still love you.”

Your eyes widened at his words but you didn’t let it show, you didn’t want him to take back what he said.

“I really hope so.” You muttered as soon as you got out of the apartment and went to the concert venue.

Sebastian arrived at the concert on time.

He was in the VIP box which was in near the mosh pit but it was corded off. He was about to text you when someone jumped on his back “Hey there Seb.”

“Chris what the fuck.” He greeted the man, “Did Y/N invite you as well?” Chris nodded and asked where you were.

“I don’t know. She told me that she’s already here but kinda far from us. She’s trying to get closer but no luck.”

“How are you two? Also, I think I deserve a thank you for you know, getting you two together.” Sebastian rolled his eyes but he was right. If Chris didn’t do what he did, the both of you would still be pining at each other not taking the risk. But Sebastian didn’t want to give Chris the satisfaction and the bragging rights so he just shut up. Which made Chris shove him in the shoulder and made him lose his balance. “Stop doing that! If I die because of you I’m going to haunt your ass.”

Chris was about to make a joke about how he’s got a nice ass and Sebastian’s ghost is going to have a good time haunting it but then the crowd started cheering and the artist started playing a song.

Surprisingly, Sebastian and Chris had a good time. Ed Sheeran was a great singer and to hear him perform live was a surreal experience. They both made a mental note to download his songs in their Spotify account. “Hey guys so, as you may know I always bring out a special guest in every performance.” The crowd started cheering “I’d like to introduce to you a very special friend of mine Y/N.”

Huh funny, she’s got the same name as you Sebastian thought. But when the special guest came out from the side holding a guitar that he was sure he saw lying in his sofa last night, he realized that, that was you.

“Hey guys! My name is Y/N. It’s an honor to be here tonight to be able to perform in front of you.” The crown cheered so loud that Sebastian drowned out Chris’ voice saying “WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK”

Sebastian replayed the conversation that the two of you had earlier that day and that was when it all clicked for him, the way you accepted him so easily despite the fact that he’s an actor. Why you were so scared to be in a relationship. Everything’s coming back to him now. “No more secrets.” He muttered then he smiled.

When you and Ed finished singing the song he took a step back and gave you the spotlight, and you looked amazing. You were amazing.

“So, i’m going to play you guys another song.” you said as you strum your guitar “This is a song I wrote many moons ago and this will be the first time that I’m going to perform it in front of you guys because you’re all special.” Everyone cheered. He noticed Chris whip out his phone and record you, so Sebastian didn’t bother. He can just ask for the footage later. “This song is called Eyes, I hope you guys like it.”

Y/N began strumming her guitar and began to sing.

“Hello there, can i tell you my name

I was wondering in case I see those eyes again

We clink our glasses as we laughed

We told jokes all throughout the night

Hello there can I tell you my name

and you can tell yours I promise

I’ll hold it so dear, like a prayer between my lips”

Sebastian was just staring at you completely mesmerized, this was the surprise you were talking about. Not the fact that you were a famous singer, but the song. You wrote him a love song. Something only he can understand. He wanted to hate himself for not telling you that he loved you sooner. If he did, you would have been together for much longer, neither one of you would cry for a love that you thought you would never have. But maybe that’s just all part of the cosmic plan, maybe you get hurt so you’ll learn how to cherish what you have. When you reached the last verse of the song Sebastian caught your eye. You smiled as if to say ‘I found you.’, and he couldn’t help but smile back at you.

there goes your blue eyes, making me fall for you

and i hope when I tell you ,you’d smile and tell me you love me too

The crowd cheered as you finished the song, “Thank you so much! I love you guys! And thank you to my dear friend Ed Sheeran for letting me play a song for all of you. I love you guys, you’re all amazing.” Ed appeared on stage to hug her and thank her one last time before she went back stage, then continued to perform five songs until the night was over.

“So, do you still like me?” you asked when the two of you arrived in your home.

You said it like a joke but the truth was, your knees are too weak to support you from standing up. You were too damn scared because he hasn’t said a word and he didn’t reply to any of your messages.

“Was that your surprise?”

“Uhh… yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was waiting for the right time.”

He fell silent again, dear lord this man is going to be the death of you. A moment later he decided to ask, “Did you write that song for me?”

You nodded but remained focused on the rip of your jeans rolling some of the loose threads on your fingertips. “It was amazing. I am honored.”

Every doubt that you had in your heart vanished, for the first time in the past hour you were finally able to breath properly. You looked at him and you weren’t a bit surprised to find him staring at you with that goofy smile of his that brings out the crinkles in his eyes. His eyes had always spoke volumes and you somehow knew exactly what he was trying to say. He didn’t need to say words to tell you how much he loved you. His actions said it for him. The way he would always wait until you come home so that the two of you could sleep next to each other. All the times that you woke up in the middle of the night and you feel him pull you closer to him. It was in the little things. And sometimes that was the most important.

That night Sebastian decided to tell you that he loves you for the very first time.

It wasn’t as a grand gesture as he had hoped it would be but he had done it. Both of you were in the bathroom looked at you through the mirror and he just muttered “I’m in love with you.” And you just stared back at him and you tried to cover your face. You tried to hide your smile from him but failed when he grabbed your hands and turned you around to face him. “I’m in love with you, Y/N. Will you be mine?”

Sebastian saw you bit your lip to stop your self from smiling, “I’ve been yours the moment you took me to that swimming pool, Sebby.”

That night lying on your bed the both of you held hands and laughed as you looked back at the things the two of you had went through, the lies, the pining, the heartbreak. All of those are nothing but memories now that you’ll be sure to tell your children and your children’s children. Sebastian has never been sure of anything but he was sure as hell that you would be the one standing next to him at the altar. You were the one he wanted to exchange rings with. You were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

#sebastian stan #winterwrites #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan x you #bucky barnes #sebastian x reader #disconnected #winter:disconnected

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