#AND his ex

[impishtubist]

summer homework

for @greyeyedmonster-18 and @femme--de--lettres and everyone else suffering through finals rn, ilu <3

---

Harry hears the sound of the Floo, and then Sirius’s booming voice. “Where are my favorite Potters?”

“Grandpa!”

Harry rolls his eyes as his three children leap up and hurry into the living room. He follows, watching as the three of them dart around Sirius and throw themselves at Remus.

“Oof!” Remus says. James surpassed him in height over a year ago, and AJ caught up to him over the winter hols. Lily isn’t far off, and so Remus is completely engulfed by the three of them. “Hello, loves.”

Sirius puts his hands on his hips in mock outrage. “And where’s my hug?”

James, AJ, and Lily disentangle themselves from Remus and, ignoring Sirius entirely, go back to what they were doing. Sirius’s mouth drops open. “I don’t even get a hello?”

James sighs and looks at Harry. “Dad?”

Harry rolls his eyes again and says, “The kids want me to tell you that they’re not speaking to you.” 

“What? Why?” Now Sirius really is outraged. “What did I do?”

James, AJ, and Lily look at Harry. Harry shakes his head. 

“I’m not doing this all night. If you have something to say to Grandad, do it yourself.”

“Grandpa, tell Grandad he shouldn’t have assigned us so much bloody homework over the summer,” AJ says to Remus.

Remus’s eyebrows shoot up, but he turns to Sirius and says, “The kids aren’t talking to you because you assigned--”

“Yes, thank you, I heard,” Sirius says. “You and James have OWLs and NEWTs next year. You both need to be prepared.”

“What about me?” Lily pipes up. “I don’t have OWLs and NEWTs.”

“You still need to keep your skills sharp.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Grandpa never gave us summer homework,” AJ says. 

“They’ve got a point, Sirius,” Remus says. “Their previous Defense teacher never gave them summer homework.” 

“Well, maybe their previous Defense teacher shouldn’t have had a run-in with a bunch of Inferi that resulted in him having to take a year-long leave of absence!”

“That’s true,” Remus concedes. “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“You’re still coming back next year, Grandpa, right?” AJ asks hopefully. “We don’t have to have Grandad again?”

“Hey!”

“Actually, kids, that’s what we wanted to tell you at dinner tonight.” Remus slips an arm around Sirius’s waist and leans into him. “I am coming back next year, but so is Grandad. We’re going to be co-teaching Defense.” 

“Really?” Harry says. “That’s great!” 

“Okay, but we don’t have to do our homework, right?” James says.

“Sorry, James Sirius, but you still have to do the homework Grandad assigned you. All of you do.”

James pulls a face. “You’re the worst grandparents ever.”

#imp speaks #wolfstar #wolfstar grandads #harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #he's not in this but in my headcanon for this universe teddy is 27 #and harry is 45 #he had his kids later than in canon #and teddy likes to date scandalously older men #so teddy is dating cedric diggory #and harry can't believe his little brother is dating a man 20 years older than him #AND his ex #thank you and good night

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

Steve is literally the supportive mom friend.

When the others were hellbent on playing DnD, he took his date to watch the game Lucas was playing in.

When Dustin was pretty much abandoned by the others, Steve was excited to pop out give their handshake and sit with Dustin at his job!

He practically coparents with Eddie.

He literally would rather risk jail time than put the kids in dangerous situations. (I.e. Billy looking for max and Max risking herself) However he is soft like pillow and gives in.

Jealous that they had another cool older figure. Meanwhile he is pretty much stagnant at both his life and his love life. Feeling inadequate until he meets the guy and their booth dummies with hearts of gold. Although Eddie knows all the nuances the kids enjoy and Steve’s the out of touch mom who just smiles and nods.

Basically I’m in love with team mom Steve doing his best to keep those brats alive.

#stranger things 4 #stranger things season four #stranger things #steve harrington #steve is the best babysitter #steve is already a mom of like seven kids #he also has to keep his buddy safe #and his ex #and the cool dad the boys picked up #and the kids #and himself #maybe the town as well #give Steve a raise #if he dies I’m suing

[thelesbianthespianposts]

imagine: you get your memories back after years of amnesia to find out your whole species is dead and earth doesn’t exist anymore. that the only thing left of your culture is your weird ex and his busted honda civic that barely even works that he stole from the government when he was 13. And he’s been taking members of an alien species for trips in his honda civic and they’re all like “woah it’s so cool” and you get upset because it’s NOT COOL it’s a honda civic, the turn signals don’t even work “wow it can go up hills” yeah OF COURSE IT CAN GO UP HILLS EVERY CAR COULD DO THAT. but they’ve never seen a car before so everything it does is the coolest thing ever. And your ex’s only tool is a fucking screwdriver which is somehow also cool to this dumbass alien species even though it’s a fucking screwdriver so you just look like an idiot screaming about how none of this is even cool it’s actually really shitty but your whole planet is gone so you can’t even prove it but also you’ve had a constant drumming sounding in your head since you were 10 slowly driving you insane. I would become evil too.

#This metaphor might have gotten away from me #Whatever #the master #toschei #doctor who #tardis #the doctor #Companion: wow it can actually fully reverse and go backwards! #The master: *seething bc EVERY CAR CAN DO THAT* #I would be so mad if the only thing left of my culture was my ex and his terrible car #That he doesn’t even have a license to drive #Tensimm #J watches drwho #I really wanna draw this but I don’t have any artistic ability due to there being no apples in my brain #Plus your ex kinda wants to fuck the car

[asavt]

Once upon a time a small rat walked into my web...

#cotl #cult of the lamb #shamura cotl #cotl shamura #cotl ratau #ratau cotl #fan art #digital art #my art #I think of the idea that Ratau went into Silkcradle and tried to battle Shamura and lost. #I think like ''take out their leader so they are all helpless'' #it didn't work #lost an eye #was constantly chased by the other bishop's followers for attempting to #and now years later in his extended lifespan #a certain spider walks into his hut #mind not quite there #quite lost #and they play a game #and maybe they recognize him maybe not #maybe the anxiety of having a ex-god-now-demigod is overreacted and overthought #but for now he'll just roll his dice #and see why they were once called the god of wisdom and war

[zevvin]

postcanon kei is just so funny to think about i know everyone comes to harass him still

#guy in grad school keeps being visited by random tradesman two early retirees #and his ex #pace nonsense

[milkovichy]

hold on now

#if there is one thing about Stede bonnet is he will appear out of nowhere to spite his ex #edward teach #stede bonnet #mary bonnet #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers

[greenglowinspooks]

To be honest. DCxDP where the reason Danny meets the bats is Ace the Bat-hound

Like, just think about it for a second. Danny is in Gotham for college, or maybe he just moved out to find a city where having mad scientist parents isn’t actually that unusual.

He can see ghosts.

The ghosts know this.

Now he’s getting harassed left and right by spirits trying to get closure. Fine, whatever, most of them are a one-and-done type deal, and the amount of ghosts trying to get his help steadily decreases.

Except for this one very stubborn dog.

It just keeps showing up and leading him to crime scenes! He doesn’t know how many “anonymous tips” he can call in to the cops before they trace his phone! And this dog, this incredibly good boy, will not stop trying to help the city. He’s never met anyone with such a strong sense of justice, let alone a dog. Can dogs even have a moral compass?

And so Danny just accepts the fact that Ace isn’t going anywhere and becomes his reluctant sidekick/dedicated medium. He leans into the whole thing, dressing up in a mix of traditional magic-user attire and accessories that pay homage to the ghost dog.

He becomes somewhat well known. The psychopomp detective following around the shadowy figure of a German Shepard? That’s unusual! That’s weird! I mean, it’s not the weirdest thing in Gotham, sure, but he’s a new vigilante and he’s got a ghost dog that people can only see when it’s around him. Someone’s gonna notice.

Damian, as Robin, is the first to reach out to him.

Ace doesn’t know Damian but he does know a Robin, and while this isn’t his Robin, he’s still friendlier than usual. Danny’s panicking because oh god the bats are here and also is this kid gonna steal my ghost dog, Damian is absolutely delighted by Ace, and Ace is just happy to see a Robin again.

Damian decides that the psychopomp isn’t a danger to anyone, and there’s no reason to put this encounter into his reports, really, and perhaps Danny can help with some of his cases in the future.

Danny is sweating bullets because Damian basically tells him that he’ll keep him secret as long as he gets to play with Ace. Ace is happy that he’s finally getting some bat affiliated crime-fighting assistance.

And so, Danny is now both Ace AND Damian’s reluctant assistant. At least whenever he’s in trouble, he can always call a middle schooler to help him.

(Is Robin even in school? He’s out patrolling damn near every night, and he stays out late as hell. Does he have a bedtime? He should.)

Eventually it gets to the point where Damian is going over to Danny’s house. When he first sees it, he has a damn bitch you live like this moment, to which Danny responds that not everyone has the money to afford a nice place. Damian counters that he could at least take the time to clean up, and Danny replies that he’s working, going to school, and being a vigilante assistant to a ghost dog, something’s got to give.

Danny nearly has a heart attack when he checks his bank account the next day and sees that someone transferred him 10,000 dollars.

And so they get into a routine. Danny and Damian fight crime with Ace at night, and occasionally Damian stops by during the day to play with Ace and have Danny help with his homework.

(Damian is smart enough to do it on his own, but some of the instructions are written incredibly confusingly, and he would never admit to needing help to his family. Danny is just glad that the kid is in school and cares about his education, blissfully unaware that he’s basically emotionally adopted him.)

Damian is used to being in Danny’s company.

Eventually, when going over a case with the family, Damian absentmindedly remarks that he’ll have to ask Danny about some of the clues that they might be missing. Nightwing asks who he means and Damian makes a face like he just swallowed a lemon.

Cue shitstorm.

Who is “Danny?” Why is Damian willing to ask for help from anyone, much less someone outside of the family? Does he know who Damian is? Has Damian been compromised? What the hell is going on?

Damian now has to explain that Danny is the psychopomp with the ghost dog who he might have met hunted down while on patrol and conveniently not mentioned, but he’s not a bad person, really, and he lets him play with Ace, and he’s been quite helpful on certain cases due to his ability to talk to ghosts.

Bruce insists that the family meet Danny. Damian, hoping that he won’t just skip town the second he hears the news, relents.

Danny is surprisingly eager to meet the bats, considering his earlier fears.

Damian, blissfully unaware of what’s coming, sets a time and place to meet.

Once everyone is there, he gives Bruce the earful of a lifetime.

Robin is in middle school! Danny knows that there’s no way to stop the boy from going on patrol, but you could at least shift his schedule so he gets enough sleep on school nights! Does the Bat even know where he is half the time?! (No) And why isn’t he comfortable asking his family for help with both cases and homework? Did they ever even notice how much time he was spending at Danny’s house? If Danny was a bad person, he could have seriously hurt the poor boy! Shame on you!

Nightwing is mortified that Damian didn’t trust him enough to tell him about any of this. Red Hood is laughing his ass off, because yeah Danny is making good points but he’s also chewing out the literal Batman. Tim is recording the whole thing. Steph is delighted by the absolute gall of this Danger Twink™️, and already planning to add him to several groupchats. Damian is more embarrassed than he’s ever been in his entire life.

You, he points to Nightwing, did your academic life feel supported when you were a Robin? Nightwing is too stunned to speak. Red Hood, eternal shit-stirrer, says that oh, we all prioritized patrol over our education, that’s just how it is. Red Robin actually dropped out of high school to avoid distractions, did you know that?

Danny honest-to-god shrieks at this.

He finishes his angry rant and leaves, everyone too stunned to stop him.

And as it turns out, Tim wasn’t the only person recording the whole thing.

The entire internet is blowing up with Psychopomp The Danger Twink™️’s rant. People are taking sides. Things are getting messy. Red Hood literally admitting on-camera to previously being a Robin is somehow not the main focus here.

Eventually someone connects some dots from the video, as well as stories circling the internet about the psychopomp. A ghost dog named Ace, who is the literal only reason that the psychopomp is fighting crime at all, which seems incredibly fond of Nightwing and Robin.

A crime-fighting dog who wants constant attention from both the current and original Robin.

Oh my god, Ace the Bat-hound died and became a crime-fighting ghost.

And, somehow, that’s still not the strangest thing going on in Gotham.

#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp prompt #literally Ace is too good a boy to pass on #this veered wildly into ‘Danny emotionally adopts Damian’ but really it’s what he deserves #sometimes family is an ex child assassin an undead college student and a ghost dog #also Danny gives literally no shits during investigations because he Cannot Die #he will just casually take 40 bullets to the chest like it’s nothing #if he encounters a rogue he will beat the everloving hell out of them and then give them Jazz’s card #(she’s doing confidential therapy for vigilantes and rogues) #except for the ones who are too far gone. like the joker #he’s a bitch and Danny hates him #if given the opportunity Danny would gladly kill him but Clockwork says he’s not allowed to do that #so he settles with beating the hell out of him and then covering all his stuff in glue #and of course alerting the authorities

[growingexjocks]

New Updates Will Campbell

#ex jock #exjock #gaining #footballlineman #footballfatty #footballbelly #footballbeef #football jock #football #lsu #lsu tigers #lsu football #puffy abs #abs bloat #lost his abs #faded abs #bloated abs

[aliengoose]

i desperately need my moots who aren’t doctor who fans to see this PLEASE

edit: this is NOT EDITED. it may seem like a stupid fan edit but i don’t know shit about video editing. this is 100% real

#no fucking way we got sacha dhawan as the master BEING Rasputin and dancing to rasputin by Boney M in 1916 Siberia #all in front of his tied up ex just to taunt her #surrounded by the universe’s most powerful military races #hes such a BITCH i love him #doctor who #potd #power of the doctor #y’all i KNOW dhawan had so much fun this episode #Master fans got fucking FED

[fjordline]

since bringing mass murderer of incalculable lives Megatron on board the Lost Light was such a huge success, bringing mentally unstable ancient gladiator Galvatron on board will surely go just as well

#transformers #maccadam #galvatron #cyclonus #tailgate #galvacyc #tf idw #my art #*casually spends entirely too long drawing a comic for an old ass meme* #idw galvacyc and g1 galvacyc are both so so funny to me in such unique ways #if i was a writer i would have a 100k long 'cyc is tormented every day by his ex being on the same spaceship as him' fic

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

Ace Attorney girls will adopt older siblings and declare them "little" just because they entered the family last, it's just a fact of life.

I love that there's a consistent logic to it despite their actual ages. Both Edgeworth and Phoenix are 7 years older than both of them. Neither of these women are even in their 20's at this point while the lads are both 26. They are little brothers to them. Incredible.

#ace attorney #trucy and athena need to start doing this to apollo and simon respectively i swear #''i hereby declare you - 6 foot 2 inch ex-convict nearing his 30's - my (a 19 year-old's) little brother''

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP fan fic Idea: Danny Fenton's Ex

Danny wants to know that he did not go looking for a fight. He merely wanted to have some of the best hot dogs this side of the USA, in Tucker's words. The human world had changed a lot across differnt timelines but his best friend had assure him, this one was particually tasty.

He planned to pop in, hunt down the street cart filled with buns and meat, then pop out of Gotham. He was meant to visit for less than an hour at most.

He just happened to be at the wrong place and time. It really wasn't his fault! Danny had been minding his own business, using a paper map on the edge of a tall building (his phone had broken in the last ghost fight. Not that it would do any good since it wasn't connected to any living towers), squinting at the streets below, hoping to figure out where he was. The next thing he knew, an angry child leaped out at him with a sword.

Of course, he defended himself! The kid was doing some insane slashes in the air, and Danny had fought enough samurai ghosts to know not to underestimate how powerful a katana indeed was. He had been able to beat the child, encasing his arms in ecto-chains, after a full half hour of combat.

Danny had been dead tired- pun not intended- but just as he thought he was done, a second child had leaped out at him. This one carrying a bo-staff. It took another thirty minutes to beat this one, and just as he was gearing up for a lecture, a third child appeared.

She was wearing all purple and seemed to favor strong kicks. Danny had the bruise to prove it, but just as he could take her down—and stop the other two from escaping since they were attempting to do so—he was attacked by an actual shadow and her red bucket-head friend.

Now, those two were difficult to beat, especially when it was two vs. one. Shadow reacted as if she could predict all of his moves before he even made them, while Bucket Head made incredible shots with his guns covering her attacks.

Danny had already been expelled from his other two fights, so it was a miracle he was able to trick Shadow by allowing more of Phantom to bleed into his fighting style. She couldn't predict the dead!

He ended up on a roof with five children- okay, more like a child, two teenagers, and what could be the early twenties, but they were all young to him. Each was tied up securely with some of his own ecto-chains and glaring- he could feel the hate in their eyes even behind their masks- trying desperately to catch his breath.

"Oh boy, I'm not as young as I used to be. " He gasps between huffs. Maybe Sam was on to something when she lectured them for not having enough greens, normal exercise routines, or even taking vitamins. They really weren't teenagers anymore. "Ugh, I think I pulled something. I need to lie down..."

Just as Danny is allowing himself to slide to the floor, two more shadows jump at him. This time he's far too tired to dodge, and the blue one manages to land a drop kick to his chin. The force has Danny spinning in place, losing his balance, and slamming hard against the roof.

The tied-up children cheer, and if he wasn't a walking bruise right now, Danny would be half tempted to show them all a round two.

"Great Gatsby!" He cries out of reflex, rolling onto his back, ready to take a swing-

"Danny?" a new familiar voice cuts in. The sound is something Danny will never forget, even after all the years they have been apart. He used to fall asleep to that voice, muttering into his hair and warm arms wrapped around him, making promises never kept.

Danny whips his head around to see a man in a bat costume. He squits, studying the strong curve of a very familiar jaw and his voice-

"Wayne?" He blinks. Those lips- so familiar and different all in one- curve into a surprise, but please smile. Yes, that is definitely Bruce.

"Danny, I haven't seen you since-"

"You broke up with me through a letter on the hotel note-pad? A note-pad that I had to pay for since you touched it!?" Danny hisses, suddenly energized with pure, unadulterated rage. The man freezes.

"I, uh, see you're still upset about that." Wayne winces, shuffling on his feet- Bruce Wayne, the little human he found wandering the Infinite Realms, rescued, helped, trained, and had become human again to have the man dump him to "find himself."

Danny knew he found a lot of ladies on his self-discovery trip. He never forgave him. It has been embarrassing to have to return to the Realms to his friends' knowing eyes and his sister's sad shrug.

You knew a human could never understand or live with beings like us. We aren't like them anymore. She had told him. It was bond to end in disaster.

"What is happening?" The bow-staff kid asks

"I don't know, but I don't like it," Blue tells him.

Danny ignores them to glare at the man. "What the hell are you doing here, Wayne?"

Wayne frowns. "You used to call me Bruce."

"I used to do a lot of things, Wayne." Danny stands, gesturing to the group of people he has captured. "Can you kindly disappear again? I'm in the middle of something."

The man makes no move to leave. Instead, he tilts his head. "Those are my children."

"Of course they are." Danny rolls his eyes. "Tell them to not attack innocent tourists-"

"Are you here on vacation? Would you like me to give you a tour?"

The familiar words- the ones from their first date- make rage boil in his core. "Oh, go burn in the worst levels of hell!"

He doesn't stick around for a reply, twisting in a tight circle and ripping a hole into the Realms. He ignores Wayne's call of his name; it's too late- fifteen years too late- and shifts back into Phantom.

He prays he never sees that deadbeat again. Or the family his wife gave him. Not that Danny cares; it's been years, and he could care less what Bruce Wayne and his stupid kin got up to.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Bruce, I say this with all my heart, what the fuck was that?"

"That was the one I let get away."

There is a moment of silence before Damian speaks up. "I demand to be taken out of my misery. Mercy, kill me now, Drake."

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Danny Fenton's ex #Part 1 #spirit halloween #Bruce fumbled Danny #Ghost king who is more other then human #Danny was just vibing before the bat clan came swinging #Damian mistook him for a villian #his siblings were trying to save him #Danny is stronger but they gave him a good fight #Bruce misses Danny

[portgas-d-rouge]

had a half-formed idea for an au where instead of film red happening, croc find and hires uta as sort of a power-play ad then mihawk and buggy feel obligated to look after her (shenanigans ensue)

#cross guild #uta one piece #buggy the clown #dracule mihawk #sir crocodile #tfw you team up with yr ex's ex to help repair yr ex's relationship w his daughter #or something #my art

[lotus-pear]

god i love skk sm i wish gay ppl were real :(

#LOTUS DRAWING ACTUAL POSES AND NOT JUST BUSTS??? WOAH #i swear i actually know anatomy and stuff i just never draw it bc it's too much effort #going to bed <<<<< staying up until two thirty to draw your otp #ALSO.. for those of you who know i'm rewatching bsd w my friend whose never seen it before.. we finally got to ep9 #and she IMMEDIATELY clocked in on skk's toxic exes energy😭😭 #also she calls chuuya childe bc hes a ginger and his first reaction to seeing dazai was “fight me >:)” #she was like “omgg..hes part of the evil organization🤭 and has beef w the protag (he wants to fuck them😏) *giggles* wait. TARTAGLIA😨😨‼️” #I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SCREAM.. I COULDNT LET HER KNOW HOW DISTRAUGHT I WAS HEARING THAT FOR THE TENTH TIME #anyway we finished s1 and chuuya's her fav character so far let's see if she can learn his actual name and stop calling him childe😭😭 #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

[felidrae]

What do you mean this didn’t happen???

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #alastor #vox #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel fandom #radiostatic #one sided love #Vox is a miserable boy who craves attention from his former mentor/idol #also wants to kill his ex mentor/idol #hazbin spoilers #hazbin art

[cometrose]

zhongli is so fucking funny when hes avoiding people like venti last year and neuvillette this year he can’t catch a break he moves like they’re his ex husbands 😭

#zhongli #venti #neuvillette #genshin impact #locking people out of a restaurant or discreetly getting some tea #HE WORKS HARD TO KEEP HIS PEACE #zhongli in a bucket of tea leaves: quickly traveler are they gone #venti and neuvi zhongli’s ex husband and zhongli the man who can’t stay married to save his life is on the run #but has reconciled his differences with venti i believe! they are friends don’t get it twisted zhongli is just a shit #zhongli in the back of restaurant: traveler PLEASE do not tell my ex husbands i’m here or im finished #he moves like a 5 time divorcee #zhongli next year: oh no my 4th ex husband is here during my annual nye party i have to hide!