#3 years of healing

[dewphox]

Due to popular demand (me, myself and I) Dorothea in the flower dance fit + her little blorbinis

#but like year 2 or 3 #depends when i want her leg to heal #but first year she's deffo out of commission #sdv #sdv oc #sdv farmer #stardew valley #stardew valley oc #stardew valley farmer #sdv elliott #sdv sebastian #sdv haley #art #oc

[watercolourcritters]

the little things

Today is the 5 year anniversary of my brain injury - so I wrote this about some of the most cherished small moments of healing. Five years ago, and for a long time after I got injured, I couldn't do any of these things. Car noises were too loud, music was too overwhelming and hurt my head, and the sun coming in through an open window was too bright to face. I still have times when all three are too much - but I also have moments where I can sit with them, bask in them, for a little while.

Healing from a brain injury is a long, slow process. There have been big steps forward, and big steps back, and still so far to go. It's measuring progress in inches, rather than miles. But every inch is still worth celebrating <3

(for the few other brain injury comics i've done, my tag is here)

Instagram | Etsy

[ID copied from alt text: An eight panel comic, featuring hand-written text only panels beside art only panels. The art is simple black lineart. The panels read as follows:

1 - it's the little things.

2 - it's the way i can put ear plugs in and drive with my windows down in summer, feel the wind on my face.

3 - art panel showing the driver's view from a car driving down a highway, with the window down, wind blowing in.

4 - art panel showing a cell phone with the lock screen showing a music player app, which is playing "The Omen" by Camp Cope. Headphones lay across the phone.

5 - it's the music i can now listen to for hours, rather than minutes.

6 - it's the open window i can now sit facing, watching the light stream in.

7 - art panel showing a large window with plants along the windowsill, light streaming in through them.

8 - it's the way the world keeps opening up, inch by inch by inch.

The comic is signed hank graves, 2024, january 30th. End ID.]

#brain injury #brain injury comics #post concussion syndrome #disability #watercolour critters art #happy five year healing to me <3

[andoutofharm]

hey do you ever think about how patrick said this back in 2014 and now in 2023 even when they had to drastically cut their setlist due to weather they still made sure to play headfirst slide

#ITS !!!!! ABOUT !!!!!!!! HEALING !!!!!!!!!!!! #he kept that song in his board for YEARS and they brought it back to SUCH a reception and they all so clearly love playing it #and so many folie songs have gotten so much love this tour #it’s incredible to see <3

[personishfive]

in which the metaverse is a dangerous place

#my art #persona 5 #goro akechi #joker p5 #p5 spoilers #p5r spoilers #i was going to draw a partial background but i couldnt quickly find a ref for 3rdsempalace saferoom. lol #wasnt going to turn on my playstation or search thru a playthru so lazier version for u👍 #i never draw blask with the mask or helmet on for a reason and that reason is hes goofy as fuck lol. this outfit man <-said with love #i drew his arm belt too high but whatever. is it better or worse that he didnt design the fit it just came from his psyche #anyway how did he survive in the metaverse for 3 years without healing skills. items only challenge. #(lavaeteinn costs 25% hp) (less relevantly it also has a godawful crit rate :/) #i had to revise his dialogue like 5 times to make him more of an asshole.i love him btw he sucks so bad #oh yeah. finally: robin hood is traced. i only drew him once for that animatic and that was enough. <3 #anyway fuck school.shoutout persona five #comics

[missblissy]

Bitter

Summary: A little drabble that takes place after the events of the game. In an intimate moment, Astarion has feelings of disgust within himself, and can't help but break down, talking to you about how he feels in his own skin. You stay supportive and help him through it.

Warnings: mentions of sex/domestic trauma, and panic attacks, but no actual smut. :) Only angst. Just angst. :)))

A/N: Hey hey! This is my first Astarion X Reader! I have been sucked in and now I'm just another one of his girlies :') I used a GN!Tav with no mentions of race/class/gender whatsoever. I really wanted to explore Astarion's sexual trauma, how he deals with it, and how he feels about it. I like to think Astarion desperately wants to be whatever he thinks "normal" is, and that he has a lot of shame and pained feelings towards not being able to be whatever this "normal" is. So I wanted to give him some angsty love/hurt and comfort. Enjoy!

Bitter. Like sour brandy. A perpetuating ick that crawled with insect-hooked feet into his skin. The itchy pain of ghostly memories was hot on his flesh. The crawling and coiling were unconditional. The buzzing of past words, actions, and regrets all flooded his mind. His body moved with a mind of its own in a sheer thought of panic. Moving. Repulsed. Unwanted even. But it still happened. Bittering the moment, souring the taste in his mouth, clutching at his undead heart with a rage he didn’t know he had, so soft and subtle that it built like a breeze over the ocean, hitting him like a typhoon. 

But no sign foretold that in the sudden jerk and pull back of his own hand from yours. No longer interlocked. The recoil of his body from instincts rather than thought or sound mind. How he fell away from you, not into you. Both surprised him, his internal rage, and his body betraying him. A breath hitched in his throat as he was pulled back to the dimly lit room of reality.

Where was he again...? His mind was foggy, far way, but yet still brim and bright with paranoia. Flush and festering with one too many distant memories.

“Star-bite?” Your voice was always soothing… Enough to pull him from his mind. The fog far from leaving his eyes traveled with ease across his face in the dark room. No light was needed for you to see that.

The honey worry in your words where enough for his eyes to meet yours despite his shame to look away. It pained him even more with the love welling in those sweet pearls and staring up at him with nothing but patience. Seemingly something he didn’t have. A tender hand lifted to his head, “Are you okay?” You asked. He flinched away. Again. Not even twice now in five minutes. You didn't pull back, however, but rather left your palm open with patience.

Astarion closed his eyes and leaned his cheek into your hand for only a second as he tried to ground himself. Self-hatred bubbled in him. Embarrassment. Shame. It was all the same feeling at this point and it was unbearable.

He sat up and back on his legs, no longer looming over you as the moonlight bathed him in a glow. Glossy with an otherworldly shine you stared up at him, skin exposed to the night. And watched as his shoulders fell with a deep sigh of frustration as he threw his hands to his face as if to hide while shaking his head, “I’m sorry-” He started. You slowly sat up as well, a blanket bathing over your own equally nude body in a half attempt to cover up.

“I’m sorry.” He said it again, “I.. I Don’t know what came over me,” He tried to laugh it off, the fact he blanked out, flinched from your very touch, and found himself disgusted even with the person he loved most. You understood… This was hard for him. Sex. Intimacy. Anything that related to his body. So you so desperately wanted to comfort him.

Which could be a hard thing to do sometimes. Despite that, you tried to reassure him. This wasn't the first time this has happened, “You don’t have to do this, It’s fine-”

“It’s not fine!” Astarion snipped with a whisper that could have been a scream, “I’m… not fine.” 

Bitter. It was always bitter on his tongue even when he laughed like it was as sweet as syrup before it turned into wine, “I don’t want to be… like this,” His voice carried on as he gestured to his entire being, “Every time. Every single time it doesn’t matter how much you love me I still feel disgusted in my own skin and that’s not fine!” He finally snapped out with a subtle sob, “I want to be able to do more than look and love you from an arm’s reach without wanting to burn my bones and erase the memory of everything I’ve ever been through every time I’m simply just touched by another!” 

There wasn’t an easy way to hide the pain on your face. The bitter truth. Even you knew it and it still stung fresher than a wasp’s stinger on a knuckle. No amount of love you gave Astarion could fix the damage done to him over two centuries of torment. No kind words, no simple nothings, or gestures could undo any of it. Nor erase it. Even dead, Cazador would always be with him.

Astarion’s voice picked up, another twisted, sad, and painful laugh, “It sickens me… It kills me,” He sighed, “That even no matter how much I love you, adore you, want you, and need you…” Silver-flowing tears trickled along his cheeks, flicking with faints of pink, betraying his true nature. A vampire’s bloody tears never lied. A sour sniffle sucked back up into his nose as he spoke again, “No matter how much I care I can’t be fixed. I’ll always fucking be like this!” 

He felt so trapped in his own skin. Disgusted with his own body. Hateful towards the person he was forced to become and betrayed by the thought of the person he could have been. It was a bitter cycle. And to think… This all started as a lovely night. But Astarion could just add this to the long list of many other things he’s ruined.

You sat on your knees, scooting just an inch ever so closer, “Astarion?” You held out your hand for him, palm up, open and there for him to take if he wanted. And of course, he did, “You will always be broken.” His eyes shot open and he stared at you, surprised by your honest take, “But you will also always be loved and cared for even if you are broken,” You squeezed his hand lightly and gave a soft smile, “And I don’t mind that you’re broken,”

Something told him you were lying but Astarion knew better than to believe that. It didn’t stop his little scoff as he averted his red gaze, “Even if I can’t fuck you?” Bitter. It was in his voice, the way he spat the words and laughed by adding, “I know I’m supposed to be this amazing, beautiful, and skilled piece of work but I’m no-”

“You’re not supposed to be anything,” You softly interrupted him, knowing exactly where he was about to go with this tangent, “You’re only supposed to be whatever you want to be. Not what others have made you out to be.”  

He still couldn’t meet your gaze, but you could see the doubt in his eyes and the subtle pout of frustration on his lips, “Even if I don’t know what I want to be?” He spoke more softly this time, like it was mostly to himself so he could finally speak it out loud, “... Or who I am?”

“Absolutely,” You promised him. It broke your heart every time he had these moments, how hurt and torn he must feel inside you could only imagine. You leaned a little closer, enough to still give him his space, “I’m not with you for the sex, Astarion, it was never about the sex. So I could go the rest of my life waiting, or not waiting, or simply just being there,” You reached up and cupped his cheek again and pulled ever so gently to get him to meet your gaze, “You… Do. Not… have to have sex with me to keep me to stay with you,” A little glimmer in your eye sparked with affection, "I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it, you are enough just as yourself. And I'll say it forever, I love you for you, and that includes even when stuff like this happens."

That got the littlest smile out of him. He brushed his cheek deeper into your palm and found himself even leaning into your embrace, “You know I want to,” He huffed, “I just don’t think… I can… not without this feeling being there, that is," It was still bitter. He closed his eyes, head resting by your shoulder, nearly hiding in the crook of your neck, “I don’t want to be this way. It’s like I'm not even free. Like my time in the sun was worth nothing in the long wrong,” He quickly looked up at you and corrected himself, “I know that’s not true,” A bitter smile, “It just feels that way, sometimes,” 

Your smile, bitter too, but sweet, with a sad nuzzle of your nose against his in a loving and comforting gesture, “I know, Star-bite,” Then a little kiss to his nose for reassurance, “But this,” And a tight squeeze of his hand, referring to just this simple act alone as you spoke, “You can do. And this is more than enough,”

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion ancunin #angst #bg3 fanfiction #fanfic #pale elf #bg3 astarion #haha not me writing my first fic in YEARS #hahaaaa #aaaa #:) #no body look at me im in my feels #I just need some astarion angst to heal me its fine

[marymekpop]

a daily dose of sunshine & wisdom

#daily dose of sunshine #korean drama #park bo young #mmkfav #mygif #stayed up until 4am to finish this drama so i'm running on no sleep and i have no regrets #i cried so many times watching this drama #truly a healing drama #def one of my favs of the year #my pby is finally in another kdrama masterpiece #(i used to pray for times like this) #also this drama messed me up (in a good way) #also i will never shut up about our childhood besties from the drama #(they should have been endgame) #(im so hurt) #(we got absolutely robbed) #to make up for it i NEED pby and jdy in another project together again im so srs #n e ways i highly recommend this drama!! pls watch if you haven't already <3

[untouchedsoap]

there is something sooo fucking good about early seasons ian and mickey, about watching this summer fling turn into something more, the fear that elicited from mickey but him being unable to stop, finding those little moments hidden away and taking all this meaning from small gestures and persevering in dugouts and under bleachers and barely pressed confessions in the back of a church that is soo good for my brain

like i am very glad mickey gets to shout his love for ian from the mountain tops and also beat his love for ian into his dad's face but when he was clenching his teeth shut and his love for ian was coming out regardless ohhhhh baby i was eating

#shameless us #gallavich #and also they actually gave noel something interesting to work with instead of 5 mins of nonsense in the later seasons but. what can you do #like i watch later season stuff with like equal parts 'good for them i'm happy they are happy' and 'thats not my boy' #yes my man deserves to be out and happy and a bridezilla but also he would not act like that <3 hope this helps #yes he deserves to be a diva menace no he wouldn't do it like that though <3 #yes he should get to heal from his familial trauma no he should not be forced to care for and interact with that man who should be dead #gallavich truly double edged sword of biggest win for fans and also biggest fumble #like ian's supposed to be one time hook up in s1 became his HUSBAND after years of bringing him back and sending him away rinse and repeat #because the writers hated mickey but audiences loved him #so yay they're married! time to have the most uninteresting plots for them imaginable & retcon some dumb ass traits on them for plot purpos #the last 2 seasons should have centered around ian and mickey becoming the centralizing force of the house that fiona was at the start #god there are so many tags here sorry. got more passionate about this than i thought i would #mickey milkovich

[lloronabella]

Looked through my phone and found some “Before” pictures not knowing if I would ever get an “after”! But here we are

1st picture: 2021, I was depressed, an alcoholic, insecure, angry, isolated and just genuinely did not enjoy my life. I was constantly lashing out at others. I was stagnant and toxic.

2nd picture: 3 years later, I am active, I am healing, no longer drinking myself to sleep every night, working on myself, admitting I need help sometimes, and just genuinely trying to squeeze as much happiness out of life as possible.

I have so many moments where I feel like I am not improving or just stuck in a rut but I forget just how far I have come! I never set out to lose weight, but I knew I needed to change my life or be stuck in my misery.

You glow different when you love yourself 🤎✨

#me #seattle #sagittarius #latina #the sopranos #latinas de seattle #3 years ago #3 year challenge #gym progress #healing #sunday self care #do better

[fastcardotmp3]

Nancy Wheeler needs a steadier set of hands.

It’s a vital thing, the steadiness, and one which she’s prided herself on for a long time now, but in this moment? On this endless night? Nancy needs a steadier set of hands.

She stands along the wall, close to the door because it’s crowded beyond measure in the double-wide trailer that’s used primarily as a med center and because it’s hard enough to breathe during this conversation without direct access to an exit.

The fingers of her right hand tap against the side of her thigh, a discordant rhythm which her ballet instructors of her youth would have disparaged on the spot. Stay in time, Nancy! Don’t be so hesitant, Nancy! Did you forget how to count, Nancy?!

Her fingers tap, but the beat of her heart is not much better at keeping consistent time, so what is she meant to count along with? Where is the pace being set? Where is the music to guide her through this moment as her unsteady hands reach into the bag slung across her body and pull out a bottle of lake water, black as pitch and viscous?

Where is her partner in this pas de deux as the glass clatters with the uncontrollable force she uses to set it down on the table at the center of the room?

“Jesus Christ.”

“That’s our drinking water?”

“It looks like— like fuckin’ Venom.”

“What the hell is Venom, Henderson?”

“From Spider-Man? Symbiote alien from another planet and—”

“That’s our drinking water?”

Nancy stands against the wall.

She watches and she listens as they pass the bottle around, the glass face boasting Coca-Cola loud enough that it almost really does just look like a bottle of flat soda, and she chooses to let them bicker.

There was a time, some many months ago now, when Nancy would have walked in and at the very least pretended at enough confidence and certainty to convince everyone she had a plan and they would all be okay and they wouldn’t all die of thirst because the Upside Down and the entity controlling it has finally decided that direct action against their resources might be more efficient that sending monsters through the gates has been so far.

There was a time, indeed, when Nancy might have even felt such confidence, such certainty, but she can't remember that sensation now.

Not a sensory memory within her reach, not a modicum of cautious optimism born from a girl who had not yet learned the undeniable yearning of loss.

Nancy is here, as Joyce forces them all into some semblance of focus, kids and adults and the meeting of the two alike, but Nancy is also there.

Nancy is sixteen again, making a choice which changed her life, a choice she weighs in her hands during every moment of quiet, during every moment of noise too. If she had gotten in the car with Barb, would they have been able to outrun the forces of the Upside Down together?

Would Nancy simply have been dragged to her death with her best friend instead?

Is she fucked in the head for thinking both of those options may have been better than the reality?

“We need Max,” El is saying, arguing back against the sudden surge of insistence to fight. “When I can get through to Max, then we will have the upper hand.”

She says it a little stilted, a turn of phrase she's heard more than she's used, one which she likely only knows in this specific context.

Jonathan is standing beside her, close enough to offer visible support.

Eddie has a finger looped through the belt at Steve's waist, doing the same.

Robin sits beside Erica, Lucas on the other side of his sister, and Dustin pacing in the small space behind the couch.

Nancy leans against the wall by the door.

“We can't just wait around,” Steve shakes his head, almost in apology. “Vecna or— or the other thing, whatever's in charge at this point— it's making a play, right? That's what's happening? It's going on offense and we can't just keep playing defense, we have to actually make a play back.”

Nancy feels a headache brewing behind her eyes, clenches and unclenches her right hand in a fist to try and find something like stability. Fails at it.

“We've been holding our ground long enough,” Robin agrees with him boldly, “we understand how to fight back. If we catch him by surprise...”

“But can we? Catch him by surprise?” Lucas now, deep bags of grief under his eyes which Nancy understands all too well.

She wishes for him to never understand it as well as she does.

She wishes for a lot of things.

“He's baiting us,” Dustin shakes his head. “We tried that game with— with Max,” a thick swallow, “and he's mocking us with it. We should wait. We aren't ready.”

“It doesn't matter whether or not we're ready,” Nancy hears herself speaking and the way all those eyes turn on her is the sort of being seen she's avoided all her life.

Ever since she was a child, she hasn't been able to stomach people pretending to know her. Ever since she was a child it's been a form of control, a form of expectation, another set of rules she's had to conform to and she's goddamn tired of it.

She's really just so tired.

“It doesn't matter,” she shrugs, crosses her arms and grips at her biceps so no one can see the way her hands shake. “We'll never be ready, but if we wait long enough we will get weaker because we won't have water and we won't have food and it will be winter. He'll freeze us out before we can even try. It doesn't fucking matter.”

Things are escalating where the people of Hawkins are still trapped in the wasteland. In the midst of it, Nancy Wheeler finds catharsis, and maybe even hope. sequel to "that's just wasteland, baby!"

Ronance | 15.5k words | rated E

read on ao3

#MONTHS i have been working on this!!! MONTHS!! but she's DONE!! #dot fic #ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #ronance fic #wasteland baby universe my adored it took a year but i have returned <3 #this series is just putting them through cathartic acts of violence and also healing sex and what about it

[pensbridgertons]

OTP MEME ♡ [4/6] episodes

3x15 quiet minds

#sf-otpmeme #swanthiefedit #swanfireedit #ouatedit #onceuponatimeedit #tvedit #** #swanthief #swanfire #emma swan #neal cassidy #ouat #once upon a time #otp: i love you; i probably always will #cant believe its been ten years today since the ep of television that single handedly ruined my life 😭 #its the way its been ten whole years and i still have not moved on some wounds truly never heal sjkghj #just thinking back to the time leading up to this ep and then watching it live for the first time........... what a time 😭 #anyways neal cassidy i love u forever and i miss u every day <3

[chewytran]

we’ll keep each other warm ❤️

#FEELING VERY POWERFUL #DREW ROYAI FULL BODY #WITH SHOES #fr the last time i drew them full body was like a year ago #and i think i've only drawn them full body like. 4 times #it's always just 3/4 body or half or bust or smth #never feel powerful enough to do full body but we went for it today #no background as per usual but alas #we'll get there #also drawing some nice fluff to heal myself after all the royai angst lately #fma #royai #roy mustang #riza hawkeye

[mitamicah]

Not me brainstorming ideas for my post op tattoo (context) like I'd contact the tattoo artist tomorrow and not in a 1,5 year or more

This was where my inspiration took me today I guess :'D

#bold of me going for colour in most of these since none of my other things have colour x'D #after all this is only what ideas I have rn :'D #as mentioned I don't think I'll be able to get a chest tattoo for at least one year and a half #in half a year I've been promised to start appointments with a therapist again about the surgery #then if I'm lucky I'll get approved #and then there's a waitlist on at least a year last I heard #and then I need to heal a bit first #so when we arrive at that point in time who knows if I've better ideas #or if I've changed my mind #I hope to have käärijä in my life for years to come still #or at least feel the same sort of gratitude for him showing me how to love my body and/or feel neutral about it when dysphoria hits #look at me being chatty in the tags yet again #also - these are of course only concepts #I will probably have send the reference picture as well to the tattoo artist if I actually went to find one to do these tomorrow x'D #I hope you like them :3 #I really enjoy number 2 (top left) and 3 (mid) #jere pöyhönen #käärijä #cha cha cha #mine #my own art

[beyondourstars]

it occurred to me that I've never drawn KH4 Sora

#took majority of last year off art to do some healing (both physically and mentally) #hence *gestures vaguely* all the older art you've been seeing these days #so technically this is one of my first drawings this year #kinda proud of myself haha #thank you for all the support you've given me here <3 #i know my art's not really super detailed and they're mostly just tiny lil stuff here and there #but i really appreciate every single interaction i've gotten from everyone #♡♡♡ #beyondourstars

[sarumint]

pop!

#hunter x hunter #kurapika kurta #leorio paladiknight #leopika #hxh fanart #art #i was a hardcore leopika fan back in 2020 and now I’m back in the pit #1999 had me screaming and crying #and the drama cds⁉️ #even looking back at my leopika art from 3 years ago had me maniacally laughing in my room #I have so much old hxh art in my little shoe box it was mentally HEALING looking through them again #it was clear how much I loved hxh and honestly I’m so glad I got into it again #I was just 15 when I drew all those silly things but why does it feel like it was just yesterday #I started this acc when I was 16 so most of my oldest drawings on here was made when I was just 16 #and now I’m 18??this is so weird idk why I’m rambling about my age rn but life just flies too fast #I don’t like it #I just wanna be in my room drawing away my self indulgence #and daydream about stories I’ll write later #and decorate my silly room and dress myself up in the mirror #I am NOT built for society

[waterdeeping]

I love you. But for the man that you are. Not the god you'd pretend to be.

#thanks to the hotfix shenanigans & mod incompatibilities literally breaking my game after patch 6 #i am 500 years late to the new kissie animations #i FINALLY got to play through them last night and omfg i am HEALED they are EVERYTHING to me you guys 😭 #i literally cannot even they are so pure so precious and i've spent like 5 hours just spamming the kiss button #also i decided to try my hand at a b&w gifset which i've not actually done before and i kinda like it?? #i mean it's not the best and i still have a long way to go but it's not completely terrible either so yay me! 🤷🏻‍♀️ #gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #oc: dharmon #gale x tav #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3edit #gamingedit #mine:bg3 #mine:gifs #baldur's gate

[bleue-flora]

Yo! Just noticed it’s the anniversary of when I finished my second fanfic Dreamcatcher, which is the work I actually started to lean into writing fanfiction (since my first work I really just wrote for myself before being encouraged to share it).

So, in honor of that, here is some of the original second nightmare which was actually written from Dream’s pov before I ended up changing it to Punz’s.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Referenced Torture, Blood, Death, Injuries, Profanity.

Dream is wet and panting, in a puddle of watery red flowing into an equally crimson pond to his side, where the non diluted liquid gets thicker.

There’s white fur stuck in it as the body of a dog, slashed to bits lies there next to him. Both sitting in the despairing silence of the box.

Tears form in the corners of his eyes and his vision gets blurry, but he doesn’t let them fall. He just exhales.

Why does everything die around him? Why does everything he dare to care a smidge about get taken from him?

As if to follow his thoughts, the white turns to black. The fluffy bloodied dog shifts into a cat that’s long since stopped breathing. Dream turns his head, and faintly smirks at the sight of the additional body sprawled out on the floor next to him.

He mutters to the corpse under his breath, rolling his eyes, “To be fair, you were being a bitch. Like don’t blame me, you know you d—deserved it… I mean I lasted like—how long before beating your head in? That’s pretty impressive—pretty fucking impressive, you know.”

Tommy’s unmoving body doesn’t respond, just stays there, unmoving and uncharacteristically quiet. His face swollen and bruised, not unlike the innocent cat he beat to death.

Then his body evaporates and Dream finds himself in a new room, accented with black walls and bedrock. It’s detail is perfectly ominous like he wanted.

He’s kneeling, unguarded by armor with an audience of people surrounding him. His heart beats rapidly threatening to burst out of his chest at the danger. But he ignores it.

Indignant, Tommy rips off the mask that always covers his face. Exposing his pale skin to the cool air and the venomously judging faces.

Despite the frustration at his denial of privacy, he doesn’t so much as dignify it with a flinch. It was expected. He was ready. He’s not about to show weakness in front of a crowd.

They are silent as the axe lands, and lands again before lady death finally embraces him.

They are silent as the sword finds its place in his chest and he falls to the ground, bleeding out into the cold stone beneath him.

It’s ok. He knew this would happen. It was expected, it was planned. He didn’t know they’d kill him twice, but it’s fine.

On one life, he makes his way back down with sharp pain running through his veins. Somehow it seems duller than the pain in the prison cell, though it can’t have been less excruciating.

Tommy once again stands above him savagely firing arrows away. As they pierce his flesh and bone, he searches the cold faces around him and listens intently, hoping to hear one sound of objection to his approaching final death.

Surely, someone will say something, right? Surely, someone will oppose his final death, right? Surely, they woundn’t let Tommy kill him off in cold blood. Would they?

But there’s nothing from them. Absolutely nothing. Standing there, dripping in blood, he feels his heart entirely disintegrate into nothing. Leaving only a hollow emptiness in its wake.

Then suddenly he’s freezing from more than just death and despondency. He’s surrounded by ice. Their pillars, tall and sharp, casting the land in a pointed terrain. Despite the bone chilling air and his frozen insides, he stands, planted to the ground, looking at a sign pinned to the glacier. The wood marking the death of his parrot that travelled so far only to die there.

A deep sigh is released from his lungs and the scene smears into broad strokes of colors. Until a well known bleak room encases him in lava and obsidian again.

Sitting there with nothing but the annoying sounds of the prison to keep him company, he wonders if he’s always destined to lose everything. Was it always going to end up like this? Was he always going to end up alone?

#I swear I do plan on expanding this work into a series… I can’t believe it’s been a year and I still haven’t posted any of related fics… oof #blame bad and techno for claiming me attention lol… anyways I do have lots written so it’s coming… :) #leftovers #c!dream #thank y’all so much for your support. kind words. and for encouraging me to write more and making me feel safe to do so and share it. <3 #writing has been really good for my mental health this past year and not only being allowed to do so #but having people enjoy it has been really really healing for me so thank you so much <3 <3 #thanks for being the first fandom that emboldened me to write fanfic <3 #dreamcatcher #dsmp #dreblr #dsmp dream #for real though… I could have written such good arrow and supernatural and maybe even Loki fanfic if I’d know fandoms could be so supportiv #(and that fanfic isn’t just about ships… XD) #dream smp #dsmp fanfic