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hopepaigeturner · 1 year

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🎄 Giftmas Day 3: Basket of favourite food. Polin

I saw the prompt and instantly I thought of Polin! A little modern AU.

Enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*

Penelope double-checked the shopping list and surveyed the bags on her kitchen island.

Shortbread—check.

Chocolate Buttons—check.

Greg’s sausage roll—check.

The list went on to include Colin’s favourite cider, the one that their local childhood brewery made; a packet of Moams like the ones they used to chuck to each other like grapes during school breaktimes; a packet microwave popcorn—one sweet and one salty although not to be combined until cooked.

It was a lot of work for a homecoming present, but over the years Penelope had enjoyed assembling the package. Whenever she brought that specific packet of chocolate buttons or baked those brownies it felt like walking through a photo album.

But the best part would be after the gifting. When Colin would take her to a park, or they would camp down in the lounge and share the feast. He would tell raucous adventures in far flung places while Penelope talked about the gossip in her office. Such days she could spend and imagine that they were on a proper date and that she didn’t need to bribe her way into his affections.

Colin was her best friend. Always had been and always would. No matter how much Penelope wished for more.

The doorbell rang.

Penelope checked the time—pointless. Eloise was out with her new boyfriend, and she was seeing Colin tomorrow.

She opened the door.

“Hi.”

“Colin?” Penelope cried, jumping into his arms. She felt his chuckle in her chest as they hugged.

“Hiya Pen.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I got an earlier flight.”

“Whatever for?”

Something flickered on Colin’s face—no, no she was imagining things.

“Always want to keep you on your toes.”

“Oh, but I haven’t got your gift ready!” Penelope gasped, mortified as they entered the flat.

“No worries, I’ve got a surprise.”

“For me?”

“No for Noddy—of course for you—put this on.”

He handed her a black mask, like the ones given out on long-haul flights.

“A blindfold?”

“Trust me?” She looked up at him. His eyes had always sparked with mischief, but that spark could never outweigh the calm blue hue of his iris.

“Ofcourse.”

He led her out her and into a car and they drove. Penelope tried to count the turns but gave up and peppered Colin with questions.

“Patience woman! Let me do something nice for you for once.”

That shut her up. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had done something for her.

Eventually they pulled up somewhere and Colin helped her out the car and through another door. She heard the ‘ting’ of the lift. He took off her blindfold and Penelope was affronted by a set of stairs. She turned to him; Colin shrugged.

“I thought it would be safer.”

Penelope didn’t give it a second thought and ascended. Although she did notice his fingers rhythmically tapping on the handrail as they climbed. Typically, she could guess which song the beat belonged to but there seemed to be no correlation today.

Finally, they reached a door and Penelope opened it and gasped.

They were on a roof at least ten stories up, looking over Hyde Park. Her dream location.

In the centre was a beautifully decorated basket filled with some very familiar items.

“Colin?” she whispered, turning to him. Colin squirmed under her gaze, blushing.

“It’s for you.”

Penelope walked forward and crouched to look through the basket. Some were shared memories, like Moams or Chocolate Buttons. But then there was some ginger beer in the fancy bottle little teashops always used—her favourite. A packet of Wotsits—her favourite. Colin the Caterpillar (her birthday cake for over two decades). And dip-dabs and little macarons from Laduree and fruit winders and…

Every single item revolved around her. That included the Prosecco chilling ina bucket rather than champagne.

“What are we celebrating?” she asked.

“You.” She turned and found Colin on her knees next to her, looking a little sick. “It’s all for you, Pen. My Pen.”

Penelope’s breath caught. He had called her that since she was seven years old, but in that precise moment it held a whole new meaning.

She stared, wordless, as words tumbled out of Colin’s mouth.

“A couple nights ago some veteran backpacker—at least in his fifties—joined our group for dinner. H spent the entire evening just…cracking open the world to us far better than all our travels had done. At one point he asked our opinion for the reason men gaze at the horizon. We all piped in about yearning for adventure, or reaching new depths of life, but he waved all our answers away. He said that men look at the horizon because they are looking for home. He explained that while the world is a vast mystery ready to be explored, deep down in one’s soul there is only one calling—a calling for home. And the horizon reminds man where his home is, the one place he yearns to belong.” He took her hands in his. “The next morning I stood and looked out to the horizon and all I thought about, all my heart yearned for…was you.”

Penelope could barely breathe; she could only drown in his words and the soulful expression in his eyes.

“And I realised that for far too long I have been lost, for far too long I have been blind. I have scoured the earth for the very thing that was right in front of me. The one person who is the best thing in my life. The one person who features in my favourite adventures. The one woman who has always had my heart.”

He brought their clasped hands to his heart. Through the fabric of his t-shirt Penelope could just make out the rapidity of his heartbeat. Another rhythm she knew so well.

. “I know I will never be able to make up for all the kindness you have shown me, but this,” he gestured to the basket, “is my offering. A slim offering that does nothing to convey the depth of my feelings for you. The depths…the depths of my love for you Pen.”

In the distance a siren swelled down the street, the wind rippled around them, but Penelope did not feel the chill.

“You love me?”

Colin flinched at her tone and mistook it for disgust rather than disbelief,

“You do not have to say anything back, you do not—”

“But I love you.” He halted, mouth gaping. Penelope shuffled forward and cupped his face. “I have loved you for years Colin Bridgerton. It’s about time you caught up.” Then ever so gently she kissed him.

Penelope’s heart swooped, like a bird dropping off a cliff, rushing towards the sea before suddenly, at the last moment, banking and rising high, high, high into the sky. Her heart continued its trajectory as Colin kissed back with unrelenting passion. Her hands went to his hair as his went around her waist.

And just like their first conversation, their first hug, their first dance at prom and the first time they greeted each other in an airport—it felt as natural as the sun setting along the horizon behind them.

But they weren’t looking at the horizon. They had no need to ever look at it again.

#12 days of giftmas #bridgerton #polin #modern au #romancing mister bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #food baskets #cute romantic feels #I don't know where that metaphor came from #it just happened #best friends to lovers

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snailsandpuppy-dogtails · 2 years

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Gifts

Flufftober day 12 "You kept this?" Garvez WC: 331

It was stupid. He should have gotten rid of it long ago, there was no reason to keep it. He’d tossed things with more meaning before, he wasn’t the sentimental object-hoarding type. He’d never once kept a box of memories and certainly didn’t have a storage unit filled with his past. It simply wasn’t like him to squirrel away mementos like nuts for winter, stuff just weighed a person down and made moving more complicated. So why exactly he had kept that pink sweater he wasn’t so sure. Or more rightly, he didn’t want to think about.

“You kept this?” she asked pulling the never worn knit doggy garment from the dog cabinet in his kitchen. She’d been looking for the other water bowl to switch them out. “Eh, I forgot about it.” Luke replied hoping she’d just let it go. But he knew better. In fact, he knew well enough to not look at her when he was responding. “You kept this.” Penelope insisted, holding up the sweater like a trophy of an argument long since passed.

“Look, I just didn’t know what to do with it.” he shrugged, voice staying neutral.

But she wasn’t buying it, he knew enough rescues around that he could have donated it to, and if all else failed he could have just tossed it. Even if she didn’t know him, his home made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t the kind of person to keep useless items laying around. He was pared-down.

She walked towards him. “You. Kept. This.“ she said, warmth radiating from the accusation.

Penelope draped her arms around his neck, grinning at him inches away.

Luke embraced her, palms spread flat against her back, a small crooked smile drawing across his face. “It was the first thing you ever gave me, how could I not?” “Awww,” she cooed swooning toward him, melting, and kissed him sweetly.

“That’s not true though, I gave you a hard time lots before this.” she teased, pulling away.

@flufftober

#Flufftober 2022 #day 12 you kept this #criminal minds #garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #snail's tales

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baubeautyandthegeek · 4 days

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Halloween is the fear that I fight in my dream – Karen Nelson/Penny Blake

A/N: Day 12 for @medwhumpmay , we're officially caught up. Second GIF made for me by @whoreofthecottage

“She’s been stabbed... a lot.” Laurie’s voice shakes even as Penelope moves to settle beside Karen, kneeling at her friend’s side and checking her pulse, her voice gentle and firmly sure. “She’ll be okay, she’s strong.” Her work is quick and neat, each stitch pulling closed a not deep but gushing wound, her eyes flickering over the wounds each time, ensuring they are fully closed. The last few stitches pull closed the deeper wounding across Karen’s arms, Penelope’s thumb brushing the pulsepoint gently, a promise to stay until she’s sure Karen is alright. Later she’ll drive Karen to the hospital, have her work checked and stay as they ensure that Karen survives, her touch soft on Karen’s fingers, a small smile flickering across her face when Karen turns her wrist just enough to tangle their fingers together, squeezing softly. “You came...” “I told you I would Karebear... I’m not leaving again.”

#penelope blake #penny blake #penelope 'penny' blake #karen nelson #halloween #halloween 2018 #halloween kills #grey's anatomy #medwhumpmay2024 #day 12 #stabbed

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wolfythewitch · 3 months

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Another hi, also could you tell me more about your love for Odysseus? I think this is super interesting. I always struggled to like him. I mean he lived through so many adventures but he also seems to forget his family and live his life happily with other women. I always pitied Penelope so much. So I always wanted to strangled him. I mean I love bad characters but how he he basically says "wife son kingdom I missed you so much. I never forget you." feels super wrong because at the same time he tasted so much half the women of the Greek islands. :/ So idk I simply want to know why you feel in love with him? That would be super interesting for me. But you don't need to answer this if you don't want to. I understand if you don't want or don't have time.

I'm not going to lie I kept trying to answer this and then getting mad lmao

Anyways. "Tasted half the women of the Greek islands" is a gross way to say he slept with two goddesses, one of which he did under hermes' reccomendation

and the other blatantly against his will. The latter of which, by the way, kept him trapped on an island for 7 years, in which every day he would go to the shore and cry for home.

Technically in some version he was also given hecuba after the war? Though she isn't present in the Odyssey so I'm not really counting that

Insert this fun little passage

What a fun passage.

Here's another one where he stayed up for 9 days straight to make sure he got home

You know how he lived many adventures? It's because he kept trying to go home. He did not live his life happily with other women. He stayed one year on Circe's island and that's maybe the closest you can attribute to that, but he had also just lost 11 of his 12 ships and men so I'm inclined to give him a break. 7 years were spent trapped on Ogygia. The other 2 years were spent sailing around trying to get home

He also constantly talks about his son in the iliad, as well as Penelope. Not as much in the Odyssey because you don't talk about your son and wife to strangers

Here are some more fun passages for fun

Very fun.

I'm not really sure why I keep getting asks like this considering I Am a blog primarily that posts about Odysseus, or why so many people think he was prancing around Greece fucking women left and right but okay

#personally i like him cause hes funny and depressed #but also #my eye was twitching this entire ask so i forgot to mention that #wolfy tedtalks #dream about dancing

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funemployed-fangirl · 3 months

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Bridgerton proposals rated by level of chaos

Anthony - While courting her sister, Anthony panics when Kate is stung by a bee, proceeds to attempt to suck out the poison from her clavicle, and is caught by their mothers and Lady Featherington. Lady F says they'll have to marry and Anthony announces they'll be married next week. No proposal, Kate is never consulted. Anthony then ravishes her in the gazebo. 10/10. Complete Chaos.

Benedict - After repeatedly propositioning Sophie to be his live-in mistress, Benedict finds out she has been arrested for theft, shows up at the jail, punches the warden, and demands to know why his fiancé is being held prisoner. No proposal. Lady B almost punches Sophie's evil stepmother. 12/10. Utter Chaos.

Colin - Like a day after realizing that he finds Penelope incredibly attractive, Colin chases her through London, discovers she's Lady Whistledown, throws her in his carriage, lectures her, ravishes her, then they arrive back at her house and he hops out of the carriage and says, "well are you going to marry me or not?" Technically a proposal. 7/10. Chaos compounded by Lady F somehow thinking he's proposing to Pen's little sister.

Daphne - Daphne disrupts a duel for her honor, punches Simon in the eye, and insists he marry her because their garden makeout session was seen. Simon say he cannot have children, omitting that it's a personal choice and not a medical condition, and Daphne says good to know not a problem we're doing this. No real proposal. No one's happy with the outcome. Pistols and bickering big brothers in attendance for added chaos. 8/10

Eloise - Phillip proposes in a letter before they ever meet, failing to mention he has two children. Eloise packs a bag and leaves for his house without telling anyone. Phillip is shocked to discover her on his doorstep. The brothers are forced to ride after to her to defend her honor. Eloise doesn't understand why everyone's making such a fuss. Colin grumbles he's meant to be on his honeymoon. Beautiful Eloise-brand chaos abounds. 7/10

Francesca - Michael pines for a decade. He proposes. Franny says no. They have sex. He proposes. She says maybe. They have more sex. He nearly dies of malaria. Eventually they get married. By any other family's standards, it would be legendary chaos, but we're talking about the Bridgertons. 5/10

Gregory - HOO BOY. Gregory proposes/propositions Lucy despite her being engaged to someone else. She agrees but then is threatened by her treasonous uncle and goes through with the original marriage. Gregory interrupts the wedding. Lucy turns him down in front of the whole Ton. At the reception Gregory kidnaps her, then gets into a shootout with her uncle. Her now-husband agrees to annul the marriage. Absolute freaking chaos. No notes. 27/10

Hyacinth - Despite midnight rendezvous, breaking and entering, and a treasure hunt, Hyancinth's proposal is shockingly normal. Gareth formally asks Anthony's permission, then gets down on one knee and proposes properly. 2/10. Mildly disappointing, considering H's chaotic personality.

#Bridgerton #bridgerton siblings #bridgerton family #bridgerton books #romance #kanthony #polin #benophie

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epilary · 6 months

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your instagram if spencer reid took a staycation with you during a blizzard masterlist | requests open

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y/n sooo it seems the planes are all grounded...

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→ sweetums oh no!! what are you guys going to do?

→ y/n i have no idea, we never have time for a vacation so this is just so annoying :/ text me and i'll tell you more

→ jareau.j. Oh my god that's awful! I can't tell you how often Will and I just want a vacation 😭 You could always do a staycation

→ y/n a staycation??

→ prentiss It's basically a vacation at home, just a break

→ y/n that sounds phenomenal right now :(

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y/n dr. reid and i have decided that a staycation is in order

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→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I love when you call me doctor

→ y/n i know you do, doctor, now get off your phone so we can watch a movie

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid Ooh sorry babe

→ jareau.j. I hope you guys enjoy it, I'll send you a list of activities that Will and I found once

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Dr.Spencer.Reid There's definitely a blizzard out there... (11/06/23)

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→ y/n which makes the hot chocolates a saving grace, honey

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I try to please

→ prentiss Sergei and I are absolutely enjoying our staycation as well

→ y/n give him a dash of catnip for me

→ prentiss I knew I liked you

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y/n we definitely couldn't resist going out when we heard how good these donuts are

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→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I can't believe you got a photo of me on the ground

→ y/n the floor of our home* i think I needed to preface that before anyone thought it was the shop

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I don't think anyone would assume I would do that

→ y/n i don't know, penelope maybe would

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Dr.Spencer.Reid A lovely night in with a lovely lady :) (11/8/23)

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→ y/n you're the best guy a person could ask for, love you

→ sweetums It's awful and amazing just how cute you guys are

→ AaronHotchner. So glad the two of you could find the time

→ Rossi I might just need to put some time in for myself so I can get a week like them

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y/n mwahahaha i finally got a morning picture of him

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→ derekmorgan Thank you for contributing to my side of the war

→ y/n anytime soldier

→ derekmorgan We should visit more often this is awesome

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I can't believe you would do this

→ y/n this is for eating my last donut

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y/n snow time!!

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→ prentiss I'd love to see you pushing him into the snow sometime

→ y/n i'll send you the video

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid I totally went easy on you

→ y/n oh did you now, doctor?

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid Absolutely not, my apologies ma'am

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Dr.Spencer.Reid Spending the last day baking with the love of my life (11/12/23)

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→ y/n definitely doing a staycation again omg

→ Dr. Spencer.Reid Best advice we took

→ y/n right, but any time spent with you is nice

→ Dr.Spencer.Reid Couldn't have said it better

#spencer reid instagram #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #criminal minds #instagram au #criminal minds instagram #criminal minds x reader #x fem!reader #social media au #spencer reid smau #smau

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velvetcovered-brick · 5 months

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington Characters: Colin Bridgerton, Penelope Featherington, Mentions of Violet Bridgerton, mentions of Anthony Bridgerton, mentions of Eloise Bridgerton, mentions of Kate Bridgerton, mentions of Daphne Bassett Additional Tags: 12 Days of Penelope, Penelope's 12 Days of Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Snow, Blizzards & Snowstorms, Family Gatherings, Power Outage, based on the song "Baby It's Cold Outside", No heat, snuggles, Colin Bridgerton can't keep his hands off his wife's chest, soft and cute

Summary:

Penelope and Colin are running late to the annual Bridgerton Christmas party, but baby, it's cold outside!

Day 4 of Penelope's 12 Days of Christmas is LIVE!

#fanfiction #bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #polin #polin fanfiction #polin fanfic #bridgerton netflix #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton fanfiction #holiday fanfic #holiday fanfiction #christmas fanfic #penelope's 12 days of christmas #12 days of penelope

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writingwhilecaffeinated · 5 months

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Bridgerton (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington Characters: Anthony Bridgerton, Penelope Featherington, Francesca Bridgerton, Michael Stirling, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Simon Basset, Hyacinth Bridgerton, Gregory Bridgerton, Violet Bridgerton, Agatha Danbury Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Desk Sex, Office Sex, Christmas Smut, Humor, Bridgertons Being Bridgertons, Vibrators, Use of Vibrator While Having Sex, Slight Accidental Voyeurism as the Poor Bridgerton Siblings Can Hear Some Things But Not See, Slight Exhibitionism As Penthony Can Be Slightly Heard But Not Seen, Anthony Bridgerton Being an Idiot, Confident Penelope Featherington Summary:

At the pub, Anthony bet his siblings that he could resist feeling up his wife for one whole night, despite her best efforts. He could!

Then comes the holiday office party...

Day 7 of Penelope’s 12 Days of Christmas is LIVE!

#12 days of penelope #penelope's 12 days of christmas #penthony #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton fanfic #anthony bridgerton #penelope featherington #holiday fanfic #holiday smut #please read the tags

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mrs-weasley-reid · 1 year

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Doctor is In

bau!team x psychiatrist!reader

Summary: It was their turn to heed for echoes of your cries. Unweave every inch of your life to find their beloved psychiatrist. And whoever the unlucky b*stard who took you was, he was as good as dead.

Warning: abduction, use of y/n and l/n, curse word(s), stalking, pedophilia, erotomania

part 1 (Therapy Sessions)

Saturday, 12:21 AM

Time passed quickly when a whole pack of profilers searched every nook and cranny of your life. Not a blink of sleep, yet none of them needed a drop of caffeine to stay awake.

For you, they would stop breathing if it meant finding where you were. They would spend thousands of dollars to get all the needed equipment to find you. And even ignored other patrons that requested their assistance.

It wasn't irrationality. Your case was just personal. A taunt to the BAU team. How dare someone take away their psychiatrist? How dare someone take the only person who listened to their horrific stories with a kind smile? How dare someone take the only person they felt comfortable being vulnerable with?

Penelope's heels clacked on the linoleum floor, pushing the glass door open as she sped to the conference room. "I found something!" She announced as she gasped for air, handing the paper to JJ.

"What is it?" Hotch asked, nothing but a stoic manner radiating out of him.

JJ scanned through the document, lifting her gaze to meet the others. "Y/N is not Y/N." She stated, processing the information in her head.

"What do you mean?" Derek knitted his brows, straightening up on his seat.

"Dr. Y/N L/N used to be Odette Solace. She changed her name when she was fifteen years old." Penelope elaborated, picking up the remote.

"Her name sounds like a celebrity. Why would she want to change that? At the age of fifteen too?" Emily's mouth fell slightly open, and her brows locked in confusion. She wasn't lying at all. And she was one to possess different names during her days at Interpol.

Penelope hummed, pressing the button of the remote. Images of police reports appeared on the screen. "At first, I had a hard time digging into our angel dove, Y/N's past, because it came out blank as in plain white canvas type of blank. But then I thought, let's look more into her parents. That's when I realized how Y/N and her parents have different last names. And then my powers did wonders, speed like the Flash, ka-chow! Y/N had been stalked by this creepy neighbor across the street since she was four. And hear this, one time, her parents were out late, so a babysitter was hired. This dude claimed that Mr. and Mrs. Solace asked him to fix their sink to watch little Y/N playing in the living room. Happened a lot of times that her parents decided to move to a different house five blocks away. And guess what?"

"The neighbor moved to a house in the street?" JJ continued more of a statement than a question, earning a nod from Penelope.

"Because of that, Y/N was not allowed to go out, and she always wore a veil to cover her face if she really had to. The stalking stopped for a few years after the owner of the house this dude was renting kicked him out because they heard about his creepy secrets from Y/N's parents. So, all was well. Y/N got to go outside got to play with her friends. She even started going to school." Penelope triggered the screen to flash younger pictures of you.

Everyone loosened up, looking at your little smiles. A momentary relaxation amid their anxieties regarding your safety.

The first photo was of you in a fairy costume. Wings and wand and all. You carried a pumpkin bucket filled with sweets that shot up the smile on your face.

Spencer was particularly grinning at the image. He remembered how you always had a small bag of candies waiting for him every Halloween for him to pick up, whether he needed someone to talk to or not.

You even personalized it to his liking. Every candy inside the bag was taped on a small piece of paper with a nerdy joke or pun about the candy's brand.

The second photo was Emily and Derek's personal favorite. You wore a camouflage suit, two lines of black paint on each of your cheeks, and a paintball gun almost as big as you. Your face was scrunched in an attempt to look threatening, but you failed and looked constipated instead.

The team once had a horrible case where Emily and Derek disagreed. Hearing about it from Penelope, you asked both of them to visit your clinic without the other knowing.

They argued in your office but stopped when you handed each of them a paintball pistol and said, "Go on. Shoot each other. I'll be watching with more bullets if you need more."

The third image was you at the early age of fourteen. You were surrounded by four-year-old kids who latched onto you. It was the day you volunteered to help your mother, who worked in a daycare.

Hotch couldn't help but recall the day he had to bring Jack to your doorstep. The little boy was missing his mother and wouldn't talk to Hotch, which left him feeling hopeless until you crossed his mind. Maybe you would be able to encourage Jack to talk.

And just like he predicted, you were terrific with Jack. The boy was more open to his father after just one lunch date with you. Even if he didn't know the trick to mend his son's broken heart, as long as Jack could express his feelings to someone, Hotch was forever grateful to you.

Rossi wasn't impressed by your fourth photo. The fettuccine pasta you made from scratch looked more like angel hair pasta. But the caption that your mother typed clearly stated fettuccine. He made a note to teach you the difference between different kinds of pasta when they get you back.

And then there was the last photo that Penelope and JJ found hilarious. It was a yearbook photo of you. Your hair was a mess, and your braces sparkled from the flash.

Sometimes your hair still ends up that way, especially on rainy days. And they couldn't wait to see you again, alive and well, so they could tease you about it.

Sunday, 3:45 PM

You woke up from a throbbing pain in your temple. It has been a week since you got the impact wound on your head, and it still was excruciatingly painful. You needed to see a doctor as soon as possible.

And you would've walked straight into one if you could only get out of the knot that bound your limbs together.

It was dim where you were. The light that flickered as your only source of hope.

Somehow, you knew some people searching for you. And you wanted to stay alive for them as long as you could.

"Hello?! Hey!" You called out, looking around the dark room. "Please just let me out! Please!" You begged, your voice hoarse from the long week of screaming at the walls.

The door swung open, welcoming light that came from outside. You squinted your eyes, blinded by the sudden brightness.

You've heard the same door open and close for a week, and you had a great estimation of what it was made of. Metal.

A man threw a tray of food on the table in the corner of the room. He wasn't evil to deprive you of water, either. So why was he doing this to you?

You weren't a federal agent like your favorite patients. You didn't catch any serial killers. You didn't send anyone to jail. And for years, you have been a psychiatrist and never received a complaint. All your patients seem to feel better, as far as you know.

He glowered over you, "Come and eat, Odette. You don't want the food to get cold." He said in a loving voice.

"Why do you call me that? My name's Y/N. Why do you keep calling me Odette—"

A loud bang almost bled your eardrums. You thought he shot you. You shakily opened your eyes again, figuring out which part of your body had been shot.

But you weren't. He smacked the tray so loud it sounded like a gunshot. Relief spread all over your chest, and tears raged down your face.

"No, no, no, no..." His face softened, kneeling in front of you. "Don't cry. Please, don't cry." He cooed, wiping your tears.

The touch of his hand on your skin only made your tears flow like a mad river. You were disgusted by the way he acted like a lover. You had no lover.

You had no other choice. You held his hand. "Please... just let me go. I won't tell anyone. Just let me go." You sobbed.

Monday, 6:42 AM

"Sir, Mr. and Mrs. Solace is waiting for you." An agent announced in the conference room after interrupting them with a knock.

With her communication liaison background, JJ took the initiative to meet your parents. She walked down the small flight of stairs and was met with a worried couple.

"Hi, my name is Agent Jennifer Jaraeu. I'm the one who called you yesterday." She greeted kindly, flashing them a soft smile.

Your mother stole JJ's hand, clutching it for dear life, your dear life. "Please save my daughter. She's a very, very good daughter. She's always caring." Her tears fell in an instant.

JJ's heart shattered into pieces. You were loved, for Pete's sake! How dare the unsub take you? She calmed herself down before placing a hand atop your mother's. "We're doing everything we can to find her. She's a friend of mine, of all of us. We're not going to stop until we find her."

"Thank you—" Your father said in a broken voice, breaking into sobs. He was worst than your mother. He may have put on a brave face at first, but he was a mess as he shed massive tears for his only daughter.

JJ led them up to the conference room, introducing the team, your friends, hoping it would lessen your parents' worries.

"Ma'am—" Rossi was cut off by your mother.

"Lara, Agent Rossi. You can call me Lara." She sniffed.

Rossi offered her a small smile, "Then you may call me David." He waited for her nod before continuing. "We found out that Y/N changed her name when she was fifteen?"

Your father's eyes widened. No one was supposed to know that. It was a secret your parents swore to bring with them to their graves. "How did you know about that?" He defensively asked.

"We don't mean to offend you, Mr. Solace, but we needed to know everything about Y/N's life to figure out why she was abducted." Emily leveled, making sure her words did not alarm your parents.

"She doesn't know," Your mother cried, feeling your father wrap his arms around her to make her feel safe. She exchanged looks with your father, conversing through their eyes.

"She doesn't know," Your father repeated. "Y/N doesn't know her name used to be different." He explained vaguely. And when the whole team remained quiet, he knew they needed more than that. So he sighed, "That bastard took our daughter on her fifteenth birthday. It was a whole car chase that led to an accident. Y/N was hurt badly and had a head injury. She had difficulty remembering us because of trauma, so we changed her name and let her live a life free from that asshole's memory. To this day, Y/N has no idea. My wife and I made sure no one would ever know. We even hid the files from the government as best we could. Please, we don't want our daughter to remember. She already had a hard time." He rambled, holding your mother close as he fought the threatening tears to fall again.

Tuesday, 5:55 PM

The pain you were feeling has only gotten worse. But the worse thing of all was your dreams.

The man who abducted you was in those dreams. He was a lot younger, and so were you.

One of the dreams showed your four-year-old self running around a living room you weren't familiar with. And there was the man, smiling and rattling a toy in front of you. He brushed your hair, held your hands, and even playfully asked you to kiss him.

You felt nauseous. Your stomach hurled at the vivid dream. But something in your mind was telling you it wasn't. You gagged at the thought that it was real.

And tears began to rain on your lap. You stared at the door, "Someone, please, get me out of here."

Wednesday, 10:01 AM

"Garcia, search for a job with much free time. The unsub would've used those times to stalk Y/N. Maybe he's a janitor somewhere." Spencer stood behind Penelope, watching as she did her magic with her sets of keys.

One result popped up. "Oh, my god." Penelope blurted. Her eyes were filled with terror.

Spencer's brows furrowed, "What? What did you find?" He leaned closer to the screen, squinting his eyes.

"I know that address really well. That's—"

"That's Y/N's clinic." Spencer continued, stumbling his way out of Penelope's bat cave.

Penelope knew she couldn't catch up to him, so instead, she dialed Derek's number.

"'Sup baby girl, what you got for us?" He greeted her, putting her on speaker.

"The unsub. He's working for Y/N's clinic as a janitor. He's been under our noses this entire time. And–and it says in the schedule, he should be working." Penelope stammered, panicking despite the great news.

All of them shared a look as Spencer flew inside the room. Hotch gave Rossi a nod, "Alright, let's head there now." He turned to JJ. "If it's okay with you, JJ. Can you stay with Y/N's parents?"

JJ glanced at your parents, who sat in the kitchenette area in the bullpen. "I'm alright. I'll keep an eye on them. Go get our psychiatrist back. I have so many rants for her." She smiled, earning a stern but soft nod from Hotch.

It was as if they were all thrown off their seats when they moved. Derek paused, focusing on his phone. "Thanks, baby girl. We're gonna go get mama bird." He hung up the phone and followed the others.

The drive to your clinic was like flying from Quantico to New York in under fifty minutes. They were at the doorstep of the building faster than they usually go.

"I'm Agent Hotchner. We're a friend of Dr. L/N. We just wanted to know if you've recently hired this man." Hotch handed a photo of the unsub to Dr. Basset.

His eyes widened, "No, it's not recent. We've had him working for us for two years. He even stays in the spare room in the basement. He was old, so I thought it was harmless." He explained, worry creeping under his skin. He had never expected anyone to hurt his fellow doctors.

"And where's the basement?" Emily followed, nodding when Dr. Basset gave them the directions.

Meanwhile, Spencer, Derek, and Rossi made their rounds into every maintenance closet in the clinic.

"Clear," Spencer stated, stepping out of the third closet they checked. And when he turned his gaze towards Derek, he found the unsub behind him, coming out of a room. "Hey!"

The unsub's eyes blew wide, discarding his cleaning equipment and running on reflex.

Derek quickly followed in his footsteps, tackling him with a heavy body. "Don't move! Stay down!" He hissed, pinning the man down.

Rossi and Spencer followed suit, gun pointed to the man that made your entire life a living nightmare, aware or not. "Where's Y/N?!" Rossi grilled.

The unsub's deranged laughter echoed in the clinic halls, sure to leave nightmares in everyone that heard him. "I don't know a Y/N. You must be mistaken." He struggled out.

"Where's Odette?" Spencer interrogated, urging the unsub to halt his maniacal laughter.

"My sweet, sweet Odette... She was born to be my wife..." The unsub seemed to be in a trance of what he thought your lives together would be.

Hotch and Emily reached the basement, checking every corner, hoping you would be there. And then, there was a door made out of steel.

Emily softly tapped on the door, pressing an ear against it. "Y/N? Y/N, are you there?"

Your ears rang at the sound of her voice. You knew Emily's voice like the back of your palm. You attempted to pry your eyes open, but they were too heavy.

"Y/N?" Hotch knocked thrice on the piece of metal. "This is Hotch. We're here to take you home."

A strangled sob came out of you. Finally. "Hotch..." You called out in a raspy voice, feeling all the pain surge in your body.

It was faint, but they heard you loud and clear. Emily and Hotch exchanged nods before Hotch turned to the door. "I'm going to kick the door. Make sure you're away from it, okay?" He announced.

Light filtered in like a spotlight directly on you. One side of your face was stained with blood, pale skin, and dry lips that turned gray.

Hotch immediately removed his jacket and wrapped it around you while Emily untied your limbs.

And a hoarse giggle shook you, "I knew you'd find me." You whispered, slowly drifting off. "I knew you all were too attached to me to find a different psychiatrist." One last chuckle, and you were out.

Thursday, 1:23 PM

You were awakened by the annoying beeping on your side. Luckily, the pain didn't seem to factor in your consciousness returning.

You slowly opened your eyes, subconsciously squeezing the hand that held yours.

"Y/N! Oh, my, god! My baby." Your mother sobbed, squeezing your hand tighter. Your father went out to call for a nurse.

You gathered a smile as you adjusted your vision under the bright fluorescent lights. "Hey, mom." You rasped, feeling a lot better than the past week.

You felt her kissing your knuckles, catching her silent sobs. "I was so worried about you... I thought staying away from you would've kept you safe." She was apologizing, and she didn't need to say a word. Her hold on your hand was enough sign that she felt awful for letting you out of her sight.

"So... they weren't dreams, were they? He really has been on my tail this whole time?" Your mother stopped sniffing, hesitating. "Please be honest. I'm not mad. I just want to know who I am."

"Oh, sweetheart," She tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. "You are you." She started, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Your father and I may have changed your name, but you are the same daughter we were blessed with. He was trying to take our baby. We just wanted to keep you safe."

You nodded, squeezing her hand back. She stayed by your side the entire day, afraid that someone else would retake you if she left you even for just one second. Until you insisted that she and your father go home and get some rest.

An hour later, came piling in a pack of profilers. They were like children at the edge of your bed.

Penelope had a massive basket for you. She said you must take all of them because they keep you hydrated.

Spencer carried his own gift for you. A book. One that you repeatedly mentioned to him but never seemed to find the time to read. He handed it to you, tucking his long curly hair behind his ears. "I annotated it, so it's easier for you to read." He gave you a tight-lipped smile.

"How are you feeling?" JJ asked, sitting beside you.

You smiled, "Better." You announced.

A wave of relief washed over them. You found it adorable. How much they loved you. How much they depended on you in a way that would disrupt a doctor-patient relationship. But you didn't care. They will always be your favorite patients.

"Jack made this for you," Hotch giddily said, giving you a customized card.

You flipped it open and immediately laughed, making you wince as your head throbbed. Your gaze met Hotch's, "You have yet to learn from Jack, Hotch." You said, showing him the inside of the card.

The others peeked behind Hotch as he scanned the contents of the card.

There was a drawing of a woman, a stick figure, with flowers in her hands. But that wasn't what made you laugh. It was Jack's message below it.

Dear, Y/N

I hope you feel better soon so we can bake cookies again!

Love, Agent Jack

P. S. Dad drew you, which was terrible, so I added flowers to make it look better.

The others also erupted in laughter while Hotch grew into a red tomato. He passed you the card back, unable to meet your eyes.

"Wanna talk about how your son embarrassed you in front of your colleagues? I can help you bounce back from the trauma." You cooed, a teasing grin on your lips. "The doctor is in."

#bau x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fandom #criminalminds #bau team #ssa jennifer #ssa spencer reid #ssa emily prentiss #ssa aaron hotchner #derek morgan #penelope garcia #dr spencer reid #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #emilyprentiss #david rossi #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner

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mismatched-sockss · 2 months

Text

Where I never dared to stand

» Pairing: purely Spencer Reid x fem!Reader [NO JEID whatsoever] » Wordcount: 4k » Warnings: JJ's POV (3rd person), based on Where I Stood by Missy Higgins, we're staying within the realms of canon with this one - this focuses on JJ's feelings and my own interpretations regarding those, spoilers mentioned for s12!Spencer and 13×01 300, heavy spoilers for 14×15 Truth or Dare, kind of for 15×02 Awakenings too (i used a part of the conversation between JJ and Reid about what happend in 14×15), reader is Garcia's college roommate & friend, no time line mentioned but first meeting of Spencer and Reader is said to happen somewhere after JJ married Will to mid s10 (so somewhere from s8×01 to about s10×12, reader and Spencer are together when s10×13 happens), no mentions of Maeve only a vague mention that the last years have been rough for Spencer), » A/N: multiple mentions about reader being a woman / female, use of she/her pronouns, no body description, no mentions of readers clothes --- pls take a look here for more info about my reader descriptions in general » IMPORTANT!!!: i just want to say that i hated the way the writers where forcing the climax of 14×15 through out the whole s14 both on the characters and us, and i hated just about everything about the whole thing in general tbh, (after making Will such a big part of JJ's life JEID was over and done with, i never liked them as a ship in general; just wait until i'll unleash my hate for JJ in the future (hate only regarding the way she is treating Spencer, otherwise i like her for the most part)).... the only reason this fic happened in the way it is, is because i lost track of my initial plan when i got inspiration from the song, but then i kind of got carried away while writing; i tried to capture and bring out JJ's inner conflicts, the guilt she feels about all of it etc

Jennifer Jareau liked you from the moment she saw you, no doubt about it. There was something about you, that uplifted the whole room you were in; it was hard to not be in a good mood when you were around.

Penelope had brought you along for a girl's night one evening. You had been her dorm room-mate in college and fate brought you back into each other's lives, when it just so happened that you moved into the same building she was living in. From then on, you joined them for girl's night on most occasions and it was just a matter of time until Penelope invited you to a party where not only the girls would be attending, but also the rest of the BAU team. It so happened to be Penelope's birthday party.

Everyone could see the sparks fly when Spencer and you met each other then. One look at the both of you was enough to see it; that this was a once in a life time, soulmate kind of thing. The kind of love you could only find in movies or books, the stuff all the cheesy romance movies JJ liked to watch were made of.

Something had stirred in her heart when she saw the two of you interact at Penelope's birthday party; a small ache, something she couldn't quite place at the time. So without further thinking about it, she brushed it away, forgetting all about it in the following days. That is, until the next time she saw the two of you. Together.

It was at one of Rossi's dinner parties not too long after Spencer and you met. Everyone was already accounted for in Rossi's backyard, except for Spencer. The doorbell rang and Rossi went to open the door; when he got back a big smile was plastered on his face and he was wiggling his brows suggestively. After him, Spencer walked in. With you. Holding hands.

Then and there the ache found it's way back into her heart, a little more persistent then the last time. This time she knew in an instant what it had been.

Jealousy. She couldn't stand your hands on him.

At the realization she had felt dizzy. Had it been any later in the evening she probably could have blamed the dizziness on the wine. But the glass she held in her hand was her first and she had barely nipped on it. No, it was because she was jealous, and the guilt she felt at the same time collided with it and mixed into an even bigger ugly thing that almost swept her off her feet.

Here she was, standing next to her husband and the father of her child, feeling jealous over another woman holding hands with her friend; a friend who she knew once had a thing for her, a friend who she may have had a thing for herself at one point but never even had went on a date with - actively avoided it even, if you thought about it. A friend, who she shouldn't have any feelings for that would call for her to be jealous when he got romantically involved with someone else.

A friend, she instead should be nothing less than happy for, after all the shit he had to go through in his life. She should be happy, that he finally had something good in his life, something that made him smile, something that made him happy. All she wanted was for him to be happy.

Will had commented that Spencer and you looked good together, that you made a cute couple. No matter who much that jealous part of her hated it, she had to agree.

That night at Rossi's she drank a couple more glasses of wine to flush out her confusing emotions than she maybe should have. When someone said something, she successfully played it off as being able to let go for an evening since her mother was watching Henry for the whole weekend. Luckily Will was okay with it, and even was pampering her the next day when she had a bad case of hangover.

After a short time, when JJ had sorted out her feelings, she really was happy for Spencer. So incredibly happy for him; that he had found his person. His safe haven. His forever.

And everyone could see it. That the two of you were perfect for each other.

She didn't think she had seen him this happy since... Ever, actually. Life had never been exactly easy on Spencer, but the last years had been especially rough for him. You were his rock when Gideon died, were there for him when his mom got worse and additionally stayed with her when he had to leave for a case after he took her in – oh, how much Diana loved you. You were the only person except for Spencer who she would let come close when she had an episode and was chasing the nurses away he hired. After he had been arrested in Mexico you as good as moved into his place to help (the nurse with) Diana. Whenever JJ came to visit her with the boys, she was amazed by the way you cared for Diana, so patient and understanding and affectionate, and how she would let you take care of her.

When Spencer had to go on mandatory leave after prison and the whole shit-show with Cat, JJ watched as you broke down the walls he had build around his heart in those three months he was locked away. She watched as you crumbled them down until you reached him again and then you gave him a new ground to build on, a ground back in safety and trust and love.

You broke his walls down, like JJ would never have been able to. Sometimes she wasn't sure if she could stand the fact, she just knew she should.

Back then, all those years ago when Spencer had sat down next to her on the jet with the Red Skin's tickets in his hand and asked her to go, she was scared. She knew that now, had realized it when Spencer and Penelope had been abducted by Meadows and the Messiah, when Emily spoke with her in the restroom and JJ was going crazy with worry about her best friends. Before, it had never really clicked for her, that maybe that was why she had invited Penelope to come with them to the game. Because a little voice in the back of her head had been whispering to her telling her to run, to turn away from him. She was scared of what could be, of what others might say and think.

Scared of hurting Spencer.

Deep down, she knew even back then, that she wasn't right for him.

And then, a year later, she met Will and the more serious their relationship got, the more any feelings for Spencer became platonic in nature. And it was good the way it was: working with each other, being friends. Maybe even something like best friends. It was enough.

She was happy with Will. She loved Will. She couldn't imagine life without him. The what if's and could have been's about Spencer hadn't been on JJ's mind in a very, very long time. Never really gone if she had to be honest, but not at the forefront of her thoughts all the same.

And since being honest was the keyword for today, here in this jewellery store forced with a gun pointing at her and Spencer and the other hostage, a rapid back and forth that could spiral more out of control with every passing second, the Truth she had to admit today, could change everything she had in her life.

"Truth." JJ swallowed after she said it and bit on the insides of her cheeks. Stand strong, show no fear; that was what she repeated in her head again and again, trying to fight of the raging panic that kept rising up in her chest ever since the guy had fired a warning shot in Spencer's direction just a moment ago.

"I want you to say something, you're afraid to say", the Unsub spat through gritted teeth. Saliva was pooling at the corners of his lips and the hand he was holding the gun in was shaking uncontrollably, “That you'd never tell anybody. And you better make it good!” He didn't take a step closer, he only shifted his weight from one foot to the other, but with the way he accentuated every word he was screaming with a movement of his hand, she felt like he was coming closer. Like he was placing the barrel of the gun closer to her body with every twitch, until he'd be able to press it right onto her sternum. “'Cause if it's not, it's gonna be the last thing you ever say!”

Her nostrils flared as she took a slow breath in, trying to calm her nerves enough to find an answer and to give him the answer without a waver in her voice.

“What's it gonna be?” This time when he shifted his weight, he did take a small step closer to her.

By the way her nose was aching and her eyes were burning she knew it would only be a matter of moments until the tears would fall. She blinked to keep the tears away a bit longer and avoiding eye contact with the Unsub, only looking at him for a second. When she answered, she cursed herself for how shaky her voice was. “There are only four people it trust in this world.”

“Boring”, he commented in a weird sing-sang before he pointed the weapon down and shot the Judge in the leg. The gun was immediately pointed back at JJ. “Next!”

The gunshot had drowned out the whimper she hadn't been able to hold back. And when the deadly attention was back on her, she immediately went back in to position - stand strong, show no fear. The second part almost wasn't manageable any more for her. “Uhm”, she let out, again racking her brain for an answer, something the would finally accept. What could she say? What was she willing to say?

“My, uhm.” The pained whimpers of the woman in front of her as she slowly slid down the cabinet distracted her, she wasn't sure if she was welcoming the distraction or not. JJ felt bad for even remotely feeling thankful that the woman was in pain. “My baby, I lost, I um-”, she looked around, first meeting the Unsubs gaze, then at a random point at the wall and back to him. The emotions bubbling up in her almost choked her and she had to clear her throat. She didn't want to tell him this, but she had to. “- wanted to name her Maggie.”

“BULL!”, he screamed and JJ jumped. “Come on, you can do better than that!” Again, waving the gun, closer and closer.

Spencer tried to get his attention and pull it away from her, calling out the Unsub's name. “Casey...!”

Now the gun was pointed at Spencers head. “SHUT UP!” And again with the uncontrolled waving and twitching. JJ felt like she couldn't breathe.

She jumped again when Casey suddenly was right in front of her, forcefully grabbing into the hair at the back of her head, pushing her down to her knees with the tight grip and possibly even pulling some strands out. “Okay, okay..”, she mumbled, whimpered. What could she say?

“Last chance! Something you'd never say aloud. Not even to your partner here.” For a moment he waved his gun at Spencer again. “Your deepest, darkest secret. Impress me, or I'll kill him.”

It was the first thing that came to her mind when the Unsub demanded this, and threatened Spencer's life. It was the only thing that fought its way through the panic. The panic that had clouded her mind for anything else but the need for survival. Hers. Spencers.

She couldn't hold back her tears any more. In a desperate attempt to catch Spencer's gaze, she darted her eyes to his direction. At the same time the guilt that was already coming over her and trying to pull her down, before she even said one word and it made her look away from him.

“COME ON!”

So she said it. Hoping, it would be enough to save their lives. Hoping, her fear of losing her best friend would stay just that. A fear. Hoping, that they would walk out of here alive and that nothing would change between them. That even after saying what she was about to say, they could go on like before, that they would be okay. Selfish as it was, JJ couldn't lose him. She just didn't know who she was without Spencer in her life. Her best friend, her confidant. Her fi-... She knew she should know it, that it made no sense to feel like this. But she couldn't help needing him.

With a shy look on her face, she turned to her friend, took a deep breath.

"Spence, uhm,” she started, shooting him a pained smile to ease his nerves and her own. And he looked at her, waiting for her to continue, with a sad but still vary and concentrated shimmer in his eyes. He was sitting weidly stiff and there was ovment in his shoulders but she wasn't able to focus on anything else than his face.

Or not, because JJ had to look away. She didn't think she could say this while directly looking at him. This was just too...

“I've always loved you", she admits, helplessly shrugging her shoulder as she said it. You meant more to me than anyone I loved before you, before Will.

It took Spencer a moment to understand, what she is saying. How she meant those three words, that they had said a lot of times to each other over the years, in a platonic way.

His eyes slightly widened when the words sink in. The true meaning behind them.

“And I wasjusttooscaredtosay it before.” Her words came out in a blur, almost undistinguishable. She exhaled and looked away, shook the hair out of her face with a quick motion of her head. And as she tried to bite back her tears,she scoffed. “And now, things are just”, the sob leaving her throat almost sounded like a laugh, “far too complicated to say it now.” I am married and have kids, my kids are your godsons. You have a girlfriend, the love of your life waiting for you at home. These are the things she didn't say, didn't need to say. Didn't want to say in front of everyone else in the room.

Maybe she did laugh. The situation was so absurd, so surreal. It almost didn't feel real if there wouldn't be this gun pointed at her.

With tears running down her face she forced herself to look at Spencer. “I'm sorry”, she breathed out. “But you should know.” In case I die here. In case you die here. I had to let you know.

He didn't give away what he was thinking or feeling, had closed off the expressions on his face after the initial shock. The whisper of a sad smile stretched his lips as an acknowledgement when she stopped talking.

The giggle the Unsub let out, made the bile rise into JJ's throat.

“Hot damn”, he laughed, switching between looking at her and Spencer. “That's what I'm talking about.”

Neither of them looked up at the man standing over them, caught in a silent conversation. Did I just destroy everything? - Don't worry. At least that was what she hoped he was saying with his eyes.

“Now those are some last words right there.” Could this guy please, please, please just stop waving the god damn gun around!?

For the fracture of a second, everything fell from JJ's shoulders. The guilt, the sorrow, the fear. She did it, her confessions had been enough. Worthy of saving them. Just when the muscles in her body relaxed, the gun was pointed back right in to her face, mere inches away. “But not good enough to safe your life!” Spit landed on her face.

JJ readied herself, even with the immense fear shooting through her whole body so harsh her body felt numb. The hole of the barrel drew her eyes to it, hypnotized her. For some reason, she started a countdown in her head.

Three, two – BANG!

Casey's legs gave out and he grunted as his weapon fell out of his hand and he helds his stomach. Then, he collapsed, his dead-weight body falling into the space between her and Spencer. Her brain had problems catching up after already checking out, after making some kind of peace with her immediate death.

She looked from the dead body, to Spencer and the gun in his hand, too stunned to ask or think about how he had managed to free his hands and where the gun came from.

They didn't speak a word to each other after their team burst in, there neither had been the time nor a fitting occasion to talk. They didn't speak until some time later in the evening, after the team made it back, just in time to get cleaned up and celebrate David's & Krystall's marriage.

When they finally shared some words when they both headed to the bar to get something to drink, they didn't talk long.

JJ was nervous. A whole lot of new what if's regarding Spencer were now on her mind. What if he hates me now? What if he wants nothing to do with me any more? What if he leaves me? She hated herself for being so selfish when the last one crossed her mind. She had been prepared to take this secret with her to her grave. But she had needed to say some thing real, something that would not only get the Unsubs attention, but also Spencers. Only then could she have made sure to get a chance at getting them out of there. She was sorry for spilling her secret, for doing this to him and burdening him with it. But now it was out an she couldn't take it back.

“So I, uh, I didn't get a chance to... say it back there, but...”, she started before saying anything else about her confession, having to start the conversation at least somewhere. “Thank you... for saving my life.” She smiled at him.

“You're welcome.” He nodded his head, a small smile stretching in his lips as well. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She laughed nervously. “So uh, Luke was right, two guns, huh? Since when have you been wearing an ankle holster?”

“Around the time I got out of prison”, Spencer smirked.

“Right.” JJ nodded, then quickly looked away, internally working herself up to get the next words out, the ones she so desperately wanted to ask him. “Look, uh, I... Are- are we, okay?” That was all she could hope for at this point. It was all she wanted. That they were okay.

He smiled at her reassuringly and nodded. “Of course.” His smile and the soft tone his voice held eased her nerves instantly.

She held back a sigh of relief and smiled. “Good.”

They fell silent as they wait, Spencer for his water and JJ for a glass of wine. She softly drummed the tips of her finger on the wood, before she turned around to find where you were standing. When your name fell from her lips Spencers eyes darted to you, not even having to search the room. Like a magnetic pull, something that just came natural to him, knowing where to find you. “She looks beautiful tonight.”

Spencer silently nods as his eyes roam your body, how the fabric of your outfit hugged itself around you. “Yeah”, he breathes out, almost inaudibly. “She is.”

The glass clinking as the drinks were served caught her attention and she turned to take hers into her hand. With her free hand she touched Spencers arm and squeezed lightly. Their gazes met and they shared a smile before she walked away.

Just when JJ got back to the table the music changed into a soft and slow tune. Will took the glass form her hand and pulled her away to dance with her. Happy, she leaned into him, and enjoyed the moment. Enjoyed being in his arms.

She couldn't help but look as Spencer and you found your way to other side of the dance floor. He pulled you so close to him, not even a sheet of paper would have had space between the both of you. He was smiling down at you as you were slowly swaying to the rhythm of the music together and you were smiling up at him just as bright. Lost in each others eyes. Every so often he would lift your intertwined hands from his chest up to plant a kiss to your knuckles, or he would brush the tip of his nose against yours before he stole a quick kiss from your lips. Not for one second losing the bright smile, that all but screamed that he was drunk on love.

Spencer was JJ's first love, and the first love is something special, something you can't just erase out of your heart as if it never had made it's home in there in the first place. He was a big piece of her heart and would always be. But she had never even dared to try and stand where you were standing now. By his side; as his partner, his equal. His other half. His forever.

Even if she wouldn't have Will and her two beautiful boys - and don't get me wrong, she wouldn't trade her life with her family for the world-, the way the two of you were clinging to each other right now, looking like you were deeply sunken into your own little universe where no one else existed; and so full of bliss and love for each other... There was no way she would destroy this, no way she would break you two apart.

There was nothing in the world that could break Spencer and you apart.

JJ couldn't hear what you were whispering about, she could only guess by the way you looked at each other and giggled occasionally. The longer you danced it seemed like you were melting into each other, merging your bodies and souls together to form one.

Emily's speech from earlier ringed in her ears then. Penelope says, that this was fate. That [their marriage] was in the stars. [They] are twin flames. Two souls, that are always meant to be together. […] The thing about twin flames is, that nothing can keep them apart.

It was similar to something she had heard Spencer himself say once: "There's an old Buddhist saying, that, when you meet your soulmate, […] the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making." She thought both descriptions were fitting for what you and Spencer had.

As she let her eyes linger on your swaying forms, she suddenly felt like she was intruding something personal and intimate, so she averted her gaze and turned her head away. She rested her cheek against her husbands chest as she faced the other way and closed her eyes. JJ hugged Will closer and as his own hold on her tightened he rested his chin on the crown of her head.

It wasn't fair that she loved Spencer. Because she loved Will and her two boys too. Her family had made her who she was. But so had Spencer.

It wasn't fair to anyone involved.

She had never meant to hurt him, never. She just wanted him to be happy. And you made him happy.

No matter who much she loves Spencer now, had loved him before and would continue to love him, she could never love him as much as you did; the woman who stood where JJ never even had dared to stand.,

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #ghosts can write #💜 s.r.#--- mismatched🧦

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