#...sorry i got talkative in the tags. i have a lot to say because i was looking for a wg pumpkin stencil đđ
ty so so much for speaking about transandrophobia as much as you do. i never thought it was this bad. i just saw the poll asking whether it existed or not and other disgusting garbage. spent the day rummaging in the tag to learn and do research. (istg if i see the words "transandrophobia truther" one more time.).
i genuinely do not know how it came to be this bad nor will i never understand fellow trans people, in this case some (please note SOME. not all. i shouldn't have to say this but ik someones going to interpret this as me hating transfems when i do not. nor do i want to paint them in a bad light. all i am is deeply disappointed.) trans fems shitting on their siblings and brothers. hell, even me noticing that i have seen a lot of trans fems taking a part in this makes me feel like i'm transmysoginistic or trying to "divide" the community. so idk anymore.
i just personally think terfs have genuinely poisoned this community and people have been gobbling it up without issue and continue to do so. its sad.
we should be fighting for each other, not against. we shouldn't be divided by braindead terf ideology and values. please? i do not understand this hatred. at all. do you maybe have any idea how this all started or what caused it? because i literally cannot wrap my head around all this. and sorry for the rant.
Iâve been trying to find a tidy way to answer this and there just isnât one. There are so many factors feeding into it. An extremely big one is the queer communityâs fear and suspicion and disgust towards masculinity. Transmasculinity is no exception. Transmascs have always been treated poorly in different ways, but we were quiet about it. We were told we arenât as oppressed as trans women and we just experience normal plain transphobia, so we shouldnât feel like an authority on trans experiences. Even our own.
Transmascs have historically felt isolated from one another and the community. Now people have found community amongst themselves, talking about their issues, and finally speaking up. And itâs a threat to the status quo. It challenges deeply held beliefs about gendered oppression and makes feminism more complicated. And honestly, transandrophobic, bigoted people have a very strong motive to not acknowledge bigotry, it would cause great cognitive dissonance.
Youâre right that the community and honestly popular feminism as a whole has been tainted by radfem ideas. I remember when I was younger, feminism was for everyone. Men were encouraged to get involved. Now people donât even recognize that sexism negatively affects men or understand that gender isnât only an intersection for everyone but men, even trans men. So many people donât even know how to recognize TERF rhetoric so long as they donât say they hate trans women. It makes it really difficult to have conversations about the patriarchy, and transmasculine people are suffering from it.
I encourage you to look into the concept of âpower-jacketingâ to understand how this hatred is maintained and functions. Sorry this got too long, I hope it was able to be helpful.
20 notes
¡
View notes
happy halloween. i'm thinking about the tobecky pumpkin rn đ
135 notes
¡
View notes
whshdfhfjf.,,,
28 notes
¡
View notes
Do you agree that Jason, as written by Winnick in UTRH and Lost Days, acts out of character post-resurrection if we take into account his post-crisis robin days? If yes, how would you have him act/react to stuff after he comes back from the dead?
tldr: i definitely agree. moreover, classism plays a huge role in it, and i donât think that at this point the storyline could lose these implications, which makes trying to conceive what an âin characterâ (for robin jay) version of these events would be quite difficult.Â
letâs just start from saying that i don't think it's a secret that i don't really like winick in general. despite his work being mad interesting on a conceptual level (and style-wise, genuinely well written!), he has no love for the characters he writes about.Â
imo utrh shouldn't even ever make it into the mainstream batman timeline. i am aware that this is a radical opinion, but my take is that it would do best as an elseworld story (and in this version too it would need some tweaks here and there), because it made damage both to the mythos of batman and jason's legacy that can never be undone. the very premise of the story is so deeply disconnected from jay's original place in the narrative, and so classist at its roots, that there's not much room to truly fix it.Â
(i want to say, preemptively, that i am aware that there are people who read utrh as a story of a revolutionary and a victim â and they have the right to do so, but ngl, my view has always been that it was never written as that. utrh reinforces so many stereotypes that it overshadows the revenge tragedy spirit of it all.)Â
another disclaimer is that, to be honest, jay doesn't have a very consistent characterization even in his 80s run, and it also has some classist implications that ideally should be either erased or addressed in the text (that winick instead exaggerated and put at the very front of his storytelling.) starlin's writing is, at the end of the day and very much ironically, more sympathetic and gentler in evaluating jay (simply because at the time he would not get away with changes too blatant) but details such as jay saying that "all life is game" and his random nonchalant behaviour that has its origin in the very beginning of starlinâs run are already signs of it. some readers will trace jason's arrogance prevalent in his red hood era to these issues and say that his actions post-res are therefore a logical extension of his robin days, but i don't buy it. even if you want to lean into starlin-esque characterisation, if you consider the core problem of the garzonas plotline â which is power, jay shouldnât look into the solution of anything in climbing to the top. and if he did, it would have to be written as a âbecoming what you feared/hated mostâ kind of story, which i can see a certain appeal in (and which would at least acknowledge that it was not his initial personality), but which would go back to its classist assumption of cycles of violence and doomed fates.
so â how to make his post-res era more accurate to his post-crisis robin days (and least classist in the process)?
if we were to follow my fav iterations of his characterisation (barrâs detective comics and the ntt appearances) tbh I donât think a lot would happen, because his personality is quite mild, and just so hopeful there that i wouldnât expect any extreme actions from him â but then again, the circumstances that he finds himself in post-res, the trauma, and his sensitivity do warrant grief that should become a driving force in his life from now on. the question is, what to do with this grief as a plot device?
i know that plenty of jason fans hate this take but I actually think the concept of jason trying to be detached and cruel but being bad at it might be one of the least offensive to his 80s characterisation. itâs def not accurate to pre-52 canon (apart from countdown perhaps) but imo for jay to be authentic and nuanced he should be conflicted about his own actions. his overconfident behaviour should be a pose â just as his frantic acts in his origin story as robin were. (again, something that many readers don't take notice of â but reading the rest of collins' writing wherein jay quickly settles into being easy-going and even a bit shy is proof of it.)
these two points lead to the âno good deedâ narrative that I often talk about - the reading that jason saw his intuitive and self-sacrificial kind tendencies as something that brought him pain and that never was quite efficient, and that post-res he intentionally tried training himself out of. there are some flashes of it here and there throughout the years of the red hood publishing history, but it never got a true spotlight. and if i were to write lost days, jason flinching at his own violence would be a focal point of the story.Â
moving on to utrh; i have spoken about it at length before but I think if he were written 1. with more political sensitivity 2. to have retained the same maturity re: the social order 3. to have the same idea of morality, he should have followed more of actual revolutionary tracks and the whole âdrug lordâ authoritarian figure schtick along with the idiotic idea of âcontrolling crimeâ would have to be thrown out of the window.Â
and, later on, forgiveness should play a big role in his story. he's so quick to forgive and justify everyone in his robin run â this is also why i reckon his team up with harvey in tfz was a wasted opportunity.
so, in conclusion â perhaps not that much would have to change re: his actions but definitely a lot should change regarding his emotional journey and his position. i would def throw out a lot of mindless violence and power posturing out of it though. and perhaps make him a bit more polite just for the sake of more consistency (this is not me taking a moral stance btw nor tone policing a fictional character. i just think it would be more faithful to his 80s writing unless you want to make him explicitly scared. and it would be funnier tbh.)
27 notes
¡
View notes
guys i'm so sorry i write so much i promise i'm trying to get better at it đŁ i just have so much to say all the time but i promise i'll try to tone it down since i don't want to clutter your dashes
8 notes
¡
View notes
cisheteronormativity is so fucking funny because the fact that im afab with long hair somehow means im immune to accusations of being Not Cishet...im hairy and i wear my keys on a carabiner and shop in the mens department and so many other not straight things. i laugh at my female friends when they talk about having crushes on men, i'm hesitant to call myself a girl or pretend to be interested in men even as coverup, but the fact that i have long "girl" hair means that people don't pay attention to that and see me as a girl. and i mean i guess thats fine but god im so frustrated
4 notes
¡
View notes
*laying on the floor*
Hey so is it normal for quilt piecing to be very fun but also utterly exhausting
(^^^has chronic fatigue and chronic pain. Why is this a surprise)
oh absolutely! Ironing and cutting out fabric are both very high spoons tasks for me
I have never been officially diagnosed with chronic fatigue but I do have POTS and severe iron deficiency and I think there's some overlap there?
It helped me a lot to get a chair and change my ironing board so I could iron sitting down, and I have my fabric cutting surface for quilts set up so I can do at least some of it sitting down as well. Pinning the quilt sandwich (which I do by crawling all over the floor) always requires a break afterwards for me, and I need breaks when doing the quilting for anything larger than a baby quilt because hauling the blanket around to get it in the right position to sew gets tiring very quickly. The piecing itself isn't as tiring for me, but I can see how it easily could be depending on your quilting setup
6 notes
¡
View notes
Hey guys. gay rights
1 note
¡
View note
Gosh it's so werid right now...
My school gave out awards for the graduating class, with of course only those who got awards and their family can go (or friends if they got it approved by their family.)
I got two of them and it just hit me...
I didn't do the most that I could have.
I know why. I know how I could have improved and what outside factors stopped me. But overall I look and I see what I did get and I just think to myself... like... wow.
I actually made it to getting two awards...
Like... two awards!
I mean I believe some only got one. Though quite a few got more then two. I knew most of the people. A few I couldn't quite recognize or remember if I knew but the majority I did.
And that also made me think. Like I knew so many amazing and successful people and I managed to be up there in rank with them!
It was really cool.
However with this said it also reminded me about the fact that soon I will not be a minor.
Soon I will be an adult.
Very soon, in fact it's only a matter of days.
... 5 or 4 days...
It kind of scares me. Like I will not be a minor. I'll be going to college. Likely will get a job too. I have to clean my room. Make sure I pass one single class or I perish because this one class will determine if I graduate. (I'llget it but like I'm gonna explode with stress.)
I got a bunch of tests this week into next. I got a few projects that aren't done and I got very little time.
However I know I can get through it. I just... mentally might not be very good right now.
1 note
¡
View note
idk i think i should start masking again đ¤ (i mean the autism i already wear a face mask)
1 note
¡
View note
đđđđ đ
đđđđđ đđđđđđđ, đđđ đđđ â
a small series of Jujutsu Kaisen men as your husband !
â OUR STARS : Nanami Kento, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, and more !
â REQUESTED BY : none
ââ WARNINGS : none
ࡠPIXIE'S NOTE ! : heya pookies I know it's been a while đđť but here I am creating another series to pay off the days I wasn't posting so much ââ forgive me my pookies đđťââď¸đ¨ we have holiday break so I'm going to grind a lot đ
NANAMI KENTO, as your husband !
⢠Nanami is the perfect standard for male wife, argue with the wall ââ this man knows how to cook, clean his home, does his own laundry, and mostly basic life skills that most men barely know which is pretty much a big turn on.
Nanami who always supports your decision as long as it doesn't have any bad effects in your life, he respects you a lot to whatever you do in your life ââ he thinks that just because you are married it doesn't mean he have full possession on you, though sometimes when you asked for his opinions about your decisions in such situations he isn't shy of what he thinks.
Nanami the type of husband who will always do small and big things for you even though you can do it yourself ââ carrying groceries for you, helping you in the kitchen, sending you to your work, helps you clean the house, and goes to the mall with you.
; he surprisingly took the shopping bags form your hands gently "your hands will get numb, this is pretty heavy." he says with his usual tone as he looks at you softly, you can't help but to smile in his small little gestures and gosh it's making her heart melt.
"thank you, kento." you say as you gave him a big smile and pressed a kiss on his cheeks making him grin.
Nanami who is being a worrywart when you don't reply quickly when you're out with your friends late night ââ
; kento | sent a message.
10:24 pm
kento : just got home love â¤ď¸
kento : what time are you going home?
11:04 pm
kento : love, tell me when you're going home I'll pick you up â¤ď¸
kento : is everything going alright?
kento : kind of worried, hope you respond soon đ
11:07 pm
kento : please reach out to me when you can so I can pick you up âşď¸
kento : I'm worried đ˘
you : love I'm fine sorry, we we're drinking just a tiny bit đ
you : you can pick me up now đđťââď¸đ¨
Nanami the type of husband to use cringe emojis but you appreciate it anyways, he barely use his phone or try to use emojis ââ headcanon : he learned using emojis from yuji or gojo đđť you find it silly and cute anyways.
Nanami who's phone is always filled with your photos and some sceneries with you in it ââ he doesn't like taking photos of himself that much though, he loves taking photos of you and look through it when he's not busy or when he misses you and he's at work.
Nanami when he learned how to use Instagram and he can't stop posting you ââ Gojo probably tried influencing him to use social media once and he was like no??? not until one time you took a photo of him during one of your dates and you asked him, "hey can I post this?" and of course he said yes and after that you kept posting him at some times which led him to the idea of posting you as well since he thinks you deserve it too.
; nanami.kento1990
tagged : @y/n.igcom | â¤ď¸
itaaa.yuji and 13 others liked this post.
gojosatoru | he knows how to use Instagram đŚ ???
gojosatoru | WHO TAUGHT YOU âď¸
itaaa.yuji | first post !!
nobaraaaa | parents đđť
Nanami who is nervous to talk about the future he wants with you â not totally nervous it's more like when you talked about kids you wanted soon with him he will always be like, "sure I also thought about that." with his usual tone but deep inside talking about it was his hyper fixation and he can't stop thinking about it.
Nanami who never in his life forget about giving you flowers in small or big occasions ââ
; "happy mother's day." he says softly with a grin in his face as he hands you a bouquet of your favourite flowers, "kento, I'm not a mother yet." you laugh as you take the bouquet from him, admiring the flowers for a second. He never fails to make you feel happy, "maybe soon?" he chuckles then makes his way to give you a hug. "sure." you laughed and happily hugged him back tightly, exchanging I love you.
Nanami who never left by your side especially when you are not okay, he will leave his work for a day or even weeks if you really need him by your side ââ he will never get tired of comforting you; if you need a shoulder to cry on? He's there. He can stay all day in bed with you to make you feel better ââ take you out in a vacation if that's what you really need or probably do every house chores just to make you rest.
â REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!
4K notes
¡
View notes
đ§ Fake Amnesia
*part of the reverse trope series*
Pairing: Lando Norris x Fan!Reader
Genre: Fluff/Humor/SMAU
Summary: There was a saying that if you knew a celebrity existed, your chances of meeting them out and about decreased significantly. Is it true? No clue. But, you weren't about to let that stop you from finding Lando Norris in Imola.
*I am so so sorry for the very late and delayed chapter. I hope you all like it! I switched out this one to write it before the next as "Love Triangle" was supposed to come out first, but we've had a lot of Lestappen for now! But here we go!"
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
Were you a bit stupid?Â
Yes. Yes you were. Did you more money than your budget allowed just to get to Imola a few days early to possibly not even find Lando? You didnât want to talk about it.Â
But right now as you perused through the local shopping area, you didnât take the time to really dwell on your past choices. Only finding Lando could save you now. Which that seemed like a faraway dream.Â
Whatever that one reddit post said about having a higher chance of meeting a celebrity if you didnât know them was absolute bullshit. You couldnât go back in time to stop yourself from liking a thirst trap of Lando on TikTok. And now because of that, your chances of meeting the British driver seriously decreased.Â
How on earth were you supposed to find one of the most popular men alive, on a race weekend, where everyone was already looking to spot the driver in a more relaxed setting? You had no clue. But the shopping center felt like a good idea.Â
You had been drawn in by one of the jewelry sections, eyes glazing over the number of zeros that followed every first number. Your heart winced at the thought of even buying one. To be honest, you didnât even know how you got into this mall in the first place. Everyone around you was dressed in the highest European fashion.Â
Your outfit wasnât terrible per say, but it didnât reflect the Italian area either. You were wearing some cream baggy linen pants that matched the light orange top that you had thrown on after scrambling to find a shirt. You didnât really know exactly what shirt you were wearing, except that it was comfortable and went well with the pants. The giant number 4 on the back went completely unnoticed. Sandals adorned your feet and sunglass sat as though a crown on your head. Your cross-body bag dangled a bit against your side.Â
You had just cringed once again at a price tag when your eyes landed on some brown curly hair. Your eyes followed the coils down to the face and you wanted to scream (but held it in because you were not about to get kicked out).Â
There was no way that Lando Norris was standing about 10 feet away from you.Â
There was no way.Â
Except your hands automatically opened your phone and the twitter app popped up. You were too busy looking down at your phone, fingers moving at the speed of light, to notice that some hazel eyes had landed on your figure.Â
Lando, on the other hand, wanted to sigh. Could he go one day without having to get stopped by fans? The giant 4 on your shirt seemed to mock him. Internally, he was wishing that the girl was a Max or Charles fan.Â
But, he was going to be the bigger person and approach the nice looking girl before she could bring more attention to him. He decreased the space between them and tapped her shoulder, getting her attention.Â
You were not expecting a tap on the shoulder. And you were definitely not expecting that tap to come from Lando Norrisâs finger.Â
âCan I sign something for you?â he asked. The sound of his voice must have put some type of spell on you since you felt as though you couldnât speak.Â
Lando huffed. âPlease? I donât need other people finding out that Iâm here and then Iâll have to leave.âÂ
You blinked twice at him before you finally found your voice. âIâm sorry. Who are you exactly?âÂ
Stupid reddit post.Â
The McLaren driver wanted to smack himself. Were you a fan? Or maybe you were wearing a papaya colored shirt that supported another person, who happened to have the same number? Or maybe if was your friendâs shirt? Or one you thrifted?
He winced. âI am so sorry. I thought. . . âÂ
You shifted on your feet, brain trying to come up with an idea for what happens next. You were standing in front of thee Lando Norris. You couldnât miss this opportunity.Â
Lando watched your eyes widen and he wanted to hide. Maybe you were just shocked that it was him?Â
Your eyes then squinted. âYou look really familiar. Oh, I know where youâre from.âÂ
The Briton wanted to run and hide. This was it, you were going to start squealing, and then other people will look that way, see Lando, cause a giant crowd, and then he wouldnât be able to do anything for the rest of the weekend.Â
He was doomed.Â
âYouâre that actor right? From Spiderman.âÂ
This time, Lando blinked while staying silent.Â
âNo, I believe thatâs Tom Holland.âÂ
âOh.âÂ
Now it was getting awkward with the two of you just looking at each other. Which, this gave you the perfect opportunity to memorize the different shades of blue, green, and brown in his eyes. You looked to the side and chewed on you bottom lip.Â
Lando looked stuck.Â
âI am so sorry for interrupting your shopping,â he started out.Â
You waved your hands, trying to act nonchalant. âItâs fine. Wasnât like I could buy anything here. Way too many zeros for my liking.âÂ
Lando giggled at that and you internally melted.Â
Time to add âgot Lando Norris to giggle like a schoolgirlâ on your resume.Â
âYeah. Bit too posh for me as well.âÂ
You raised an eyebrow. âReally? You look like you fit in a bit more than I do.âÂ
He rolled his eyes before huffing. âIâd rather spend time playing video games at my house instead.âÂ
Now this is what you could get behind. When you first started following Lando, gaming started to interest you. Because of him, you were able to meet a bunch of friends through gaming. Your notifications were specifically set up to let you know when Lando was streaming.Â
Your eyes lit up with some excitement, which Lando thought was adorable.Â
âI like to game too! Itâs fun playing weird simulator games. Me and my friends tried this goat game one time and we couldnât stop laughing.âÂ
This time, Landoâs eyes sparkled.Â
âIâve played goat simulator too with my friends! Charles . . .â he caught himself, not wanting to give out more names. âUh my friends Carl, Alec, and Jord really liked it during the pandemic. And then we got Dax in on it too.âÂ
You wanted to absolutely start laughing, since you actually watched that stream live back in 2020. The cute names he gave to Charles, Alex, George, and Max were adorable. Your friends, although knowing you were watching the stream, had sent you the link and asked if youâd want to play the same simulator. Letâs just say, your laugh rivaled teapot-Charles.Â
âThey sound like fun,â you said, a warm tone in your voice that had Lando melting like chocolate under a hot summerâs sun.Â
There was a bit of silence before Lando spoke up again. âDo you maybe, this sounds so weird, but thereâs a game store farther down, would you want to join me?âÂ
There was no way in hell that youâd tell him no.Â
You smiled up at him. âSure! Lead the way! By the way, Iâm Y/n.âÂ
Lando went to say something but stopped. You could tell he almost said his name, and youâd bet money on the name that was about to come out of his mouth.Â
âIâm Bob.â
Bingo.Â
You snorted. âYou donât look like a Bob. But what would I know?âÂ
The two of you laughed as you started walking farther into the shopping center. You exchanged laughs here and there, sharing stories about your lives with Lando being very vague about his day job.Â
âI work as an Uber driver,â he had said after you confessed that you were now working as a part-time gamer and then part-time relator. The work was hard, but that job allowed you to spend your hard-earned money on fun things like: coming to Imola early to try to find Lando.Â
Low-and-behold, you did.Â
Spending the afternoon with him felt so comfortable, as if you had known each other your entire lives. And Lando, to his surprise, felt the same. After the gaming store, he even invited you to lunch.Â
âYou know you donât have to do that,â you told him, but kept stride alongside him as he walked toward the small restaurants.Â
He shrugged. âI know. But I like spending time with you.âÂ
A deep blush formed on your face as you kept walking. The bright red caused Lando to smirk just a bit.Â
As you ate and made conversation, you suddenly felt the urge to use the bathroom. You quickly excused yourself and left, leaving Lando at the table along.Â
He hadnât meant to look, but your phone kept going off and his eyes just barely looked at your screen. They widened with he noticed his exact points in the season along with McLarenâs and the race schedule. And the picture of him from Miami after his first win as your lockscreen.
The Box-Box app.Â
He pursed his lips for a moment, briefly feeling played. But as he sat and thought about the past few hours that he spent with you, he felt content. At any point, you could have screamed his name, asked for a picture, and ruin his shopping trip. You could have tweeted his location and hordes of people would have shown up.Â
But you didnât. Â
The McLaren driver was so caught up in his head that he didnât heard you coming. Thankfully, your screen had gone dark, still giving the effect that you âdidnât knowâ who he really way.Â
âEverything ok Bob?â you asked as you sat back down, stealing one of his French fries from his tray.Â
Lando shook his head, ridding the âbetrayalâ from his thoughts.Â
âJust perfect. Trying to figure out who might win the Formula 1 race this weekend.âÂ
He wanted to smirk at you froze for just a second before leaning back just a bit, arms crossed over your chest.Â
âWhat is that? Some type of NASCAR thing?âÂ
Oh, so you knew how to play.Â
Luckily for Lando, so did he.Â
âItâs a bit different,â he said as he took a sip of his drink.Â
You were internally freaking out.Â
Did he know? If he knew then he might say something. And then heâll call his security team and get you a ban from the paddock. And you might even go to jail for stalking. Could you even go to Italian jail for that? You didnât know and didnât want to find out.Â
However, Lando kept silent as the two of you finished your lunches. Easy conversation did flow once again when you steered it back to gaming. You had a giant smile as the two of you walked out of the shopping area.Â
However, your heart dropped when you realized that the time with the Briton was coming to a quick end. Lando was feeling the same.Â
You let out a sigh as you turned to look him in the eyes. âThank you for today. I had a lot of fun! Like I said, you didnât have to.âÂ
Lando scoffed. âOf course I did. I interrupted your shopping. It was the least I could do.âÂ
There was a lingering silence before you broke it.Â
âI guess this is the end then Bob.â You held out a hand for him to shake, but he rolled his eyes and brought you into a hug. You parted after a bit and started to walk toward the little Fiat you had rented for the weekend.Â
Lando felt torn until he realized he could definitely see you again.Â
âY/n! Wait!âÂ
You turned around to see Lando running up to you, phone out.Â
âCan I have your number?âÂ
Yep, this is how you were going to die. Y/n L/n found dead in a parking lot after Lando Norris asked for her number. What an amazing way to go out in the end.Â
You didnât say anything, but quickly opened your phone and handed it to him, new contact ready to be filled out. The driver was smirking to himself as he filled out his information. He handed your phone back to you, only to lean down and kiss your cheek.
The familiar bright red once again filled them in as he leaned back.Â
âI had a lot of fun today. Maybe Iâll see you soon?â he quietly said as he started to walk away.Â
âMaybe,â you said back, biting your bottom lip after.Â
Lando swore that if the two of you werenât in the parking lot, heâd bite it for you.Â
When he was a bit away, he turned back and waved at you, happy to see that you were still staring at him. But who wouldnât stare at Lando Norris though. Definitely not you, you could stare all day long if you could.Â
âBye Y/n!â
âBye Lando!âÂ
Your hands clapped over your mouth as you watched him lean back in a full laugh. You even had him hunching over in a fit of giggles. You still watched as his shoulders shake as he got into what looked to be an Uber.Â
Your phone buzzed, causing you to look down at it. There was an email and a text message. One from McLaren and one from âLando đ§ĄâÂ
âMaybe next time I can sign your shirt. I think itâs cute that you follow my points :)â
You turned around quickly, trying to see the back of your shirt in the reflection of your rental car. There it was, in all itâs glory.Â
The giant-ass â4.âÂ
âShit.âÂ
y/n_l/n has posted
y/n_y/n kinda confused about 20 guys driving around in circles. someone know what this is called?
also ran into this really cute guy. says he drives for a living. didn't know uber drivers could be hot
liked by friend1, bestie, landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 3,204 others
friend1 ayo is that the guy that you will not shut up about?
landonorris awww you don't shut up about me??
y/n_l/n STOP EXPOSING ME
bestie ok I see the appeal, can you ask someone for that brunet in the red's number??
maxverstappen1 đ¤şđ¤şđ¤ş
y/n_l/n i think he's taken
charles_leclerc I am??
maxverstappen1 âšď¸
charles_leclerc I AM TAKEN
friend2 so luckyyyyyyy
friend4 glad you had fun!
oscarpiastri I think it's called Formula 1
y/n_l/n finally someone who knows something @.landonorris you've been replaced
landonorris osc, we've talked about this
fan1 what the heck is going on
TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @myxticmoon @cherry-piee @blueberry64857959 @glitterquadricorn @lizzypiastri @sam-is-lost @spilled-coffee-cup @ilove-tswizzle @the-untamed-soul @allenajade-ite @starssfall @torchbearerkyle @judespoision @halfdeadsage @juniper-july19 @severewobblerlightdragon @thatgirlmj @gods-menace @ineedafictionalman @namgification @dark-night-sky-99 @samantha-chicago @2pagenumb @treehouse-mouse @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @kagatinkita @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @awekbachira @vellicora @skepvids @sunrizef1 @stan-josie @fanficweasley @hiireadstuff @barcelonaloverf1life @c-losur3 @graciewrote @bruhhhhhhhhehhhhhhh @tallrock35 @ashy-kit @kat-s2 @minkyungseokie @lozzamez3 @leslieis-crying @adventuresofrose @lighttsoutlewis
2K notes
¡
View notes
como no te voy a querer | jude bellingham x alonso! fem! reader
summary; when the princess of the paddock is dating the golden boy of real madrid but she happens to have a grid full of drivers who are very protective of her
fc; rita mota
warnings; cursing i think, suggestive comment
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3
note; saw fernando at the benrabeu at the semifinals and i had toâŚ. BUT WEâRE GOING INTO THE UCL FINALLLL!!! A POR LA 15đđ¤đ¤đ¤ pls donât mind the misspelt bernabĂŠu in one of the tweets lollll
masterlist !
â Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・â
liked by judebellingham, fernandoalo_official, and others !
yourusername: when in spainâŚ.
tagged; judebellingham
fernandoalo_official: siempre tan linda, mijađ [always so pretty, my daughter]
yourusername: papĂĄaaađĽšđĽš
judebellingham: wowwwww
judebellingham: well arenât you a lovely lady đĽ´
yourusername: ur fine too i guessâŚđ
yourusername: jk ur very fine đŠââ¤ď¸âđâđ¨đŠââ¤ď¸âđâđ¨đŠââ¤ď¸âđâđ¨
maxverstappen1: sheâs a child.
yourusername: iâm 20????đ¤¨
charles_leclerc: a child.
username: omg her sign for el clĂĄsico đwhat a queen tbh
username: y/n đââď¸đââď¸đââď¸
username: jude can u fight? đ¤đ¤
carlossainz55: pq estabas en espaĂąa sola??đ¤ [why were you in spain alone]
yourusername: because iâm spanish and my bf lives here?đ¤
fernandoalo_official: youâre with your boyfriend alone???
yourusername: no edu is always there đ
camavinga: đ¤đ¤
judebellingham: eduđđ
landonorris: and why are you flirting with someone else when u have a girlfriend âŚ.
yourusername: oh like your bromance w carlos doesnât exist !
username: nah the drivers comments are always so funnyđđ
yourusername: oh itâs torture, canât even appreciate my sexy bf in peace đ
camavinga: OUR sexy bfđ
username: CAMA OH??đ
â Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・â
liked by judebellingham, carmenmmundt, and others !
yourusername: i guess you could say i get my cuntiness from my dad xx
tagged; fernandoalo_official, georgerussell63, carmenmmundt, landonorris, judebellingham
location; miami đ´
username: not her tagging jude on her lips đđ
username: me n who ong
fernandoalo_official: iâm cunty or whatever the hell it is you guys say
yourusername: tea đ
username: THE CHEETAHHH PRINTđ
username: here before simp jude
judebellingham: wow.
judebellingham: just wow.
judebellingham: you are unbelievable đđ
yourusername: đđđđ
landonorris: STAND BACK đ¤şđ¤şđ¤ş
judebellingham: a lot of talking for a man who asked for my jerseyđĽąđĽąđĽą
yourusername: he got you thereâŚ.
landonorris: okay fine⌠you win this timeâŚ
username: the alonsos are so cunty
username: PARTY NANDOOOO
username: i will never get over her n jude sawrryđđŤđ
maxverstappen1: well you better.
username: HUHHH???đ
charles_leclerc: stinky man around y/n, youâll get over it
yourusername: you guys are soooooâŚ..
judebellingham: max is just mad abt el clĂĄsico score đŹđŹ
maxverstappen1: damn right.
carlossainz55: only time jude is tolerable đ
yourusername: not very madridista of u carlos
judebellingham: yeahđđđ
carlossainz55: y/n protector first sorryđŤĄ
carmenmmundt: gorgeous gorgeous girlâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸
yourusername: ilyđĽš
yourusername: also tell george to stop sending jude threats over instagram
georgerussell63: no.
â Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・â
yourusername uploaded to their story !
[caption 1; going back home hungover đŹ] [caption 2; morning đ judebellingham] [caption 3; date night fit đ¤ş] [caption 4; mi amor đ¤đ¤ judebellingham]
judebellingham wowđđđđ
judebellingham u single ??????
yourusername yeah:/// my bf has another bf:///
judebellingham HES MY BFF!!!!đđ
yourusername cus why did cama see u in the showers almost naked after signing a new contractâŚ..đ¤¨đ¤¨
judebellingham like you havenât seen lessđđ
yourusername whyd u say that my dad saw and nowâs heâs questioning međ
yourusername he said why arenât u preparing for the match đ
judebellingham ur dad is scary
judebellingham tell him the match is in 7 hours i still have chill time đđ
judebellingham DONT mention the rolling eyes emoji he is scary enough
yourusername fernando alonso??? scary??? a menace maybe,,,,đ¤Ł
yourusername good luck my love đ take it easy on the knee though!
judebellingham iâll try, itâll be a tough match:/
yourusername papa alonso said good luck too
judebellingham tell him i said tyvmđđđ
georgerussell63 why is he shirtless đ¤¨
yourusername youâre one to talkâŚ
maxverstappen1 đ¤Žđ¤Ž
yourusername ahhhh u madddddddd
yourusername la liga championđđ
maxverstappen1 i have 3 wdcsđđ
yourusername and yet, real madrid won la liga!
maxverstappen1 tap in merchant đđđ
yourusername âŚâŚ
yourusername he scored a banger at el clasico i wouldnât speak if i were u
maxverstappen1 đđđđ
lewishamilton u shouldâve been at the met đ
yourusername gf duties callsđ
charles_leclerc âŚ..
charles_leclerc why is he around u nakedđ¤
yourusername bc heâs my bf????đ¤¨
charles_leclerc why
yourusername bc i love him??
charles_leclerc but why
yourusername bye charles đđđ
charles_leclerc WHYYY
â Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・â
â Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・ââ Ë・âŕ¨âĄŕ§â Ë・â
liked by judebellingham, vinijr, and others !
yourusername: como no te voy a querer?đ¤đ¤ [how am i not going to love you?] congratulations on making it to the final, mi amor, te quiero muchođ¤đ¤ [my love, i love you so much] and so so proud of you and the squad đŤśđŤś
tagged; judebellingham, vinijr, lukamodric10
judebellingham: my lucky charm
judebellingham: i love you so much
judebellingham: te quiero đ
yourusername: when he speaks spanish for youđĽ´đĽ´đĽ´
fernandoalo_official: so thatâs why i can hear y/n gigglingâŚ
username: jude speaking in spanish for y/n, this is so sick
username: ME AND WHOđŠđŠ
username: thank u y/n for blessing us w jude đ§ââď¸đ§ââď¸
username: canât believe joselu scored a brace đ
username: we gonna get a bellingol soon #trust
carlossainz55: A POR LA 15đđ hala madridđ¤
yourusername: now u wanna act fine w jude đ
carlossainz55: WHO CARES WEâRE IN THE FINAL!!!
maxverstappen1: I CARE!!! heja bvb or however it goes!!đđ
oscarpiastri: you gotta respect max for keeping up the hater act icl
judebellingham: he sure hates a lot for someone who lost his win streak
maxverstappen1: hey watch itâŚ
carlossainz55: can we get back to the fact real madrid is in the ucl final???đ¤đđ
judebellingham: yesđ
vinijr: Y/NNNNNNN HALA MADRIDDDDDD
yourusername: HALA MADRID NUESTO MOTM !!! [our motm/man of the match]
fernandoalo_official: good game, judeđ
judebellingham: omg thank you so much, sir! it means a lot!đ
camavinga: who are you and what did you to do my jude
aurelientchm: thatâs not judeâŚđ¤Ł
rodrygogoes: âđâ
yourusername: well, heâs MY jude and heâs just scared of my dadđđ
charles_leclerc: good.
landonorris: good.
lewishamilton: good.
maxverstappen1: good.
georgerussell63: good.
alex_albon: good.
judebellingham: oh! đ
yourusername: donât mind themđ
1K notes
¡
View notes
my first & last love (gojo x reader)
satoru realizes he's in love with you after you suggest he set you up with suguru
tags: fem! reader, Gojo praises you like A LOT! slight miscommunications, childhood friends to lovers, reader gets drunk & satoru helps, he's a lovesick idiot & dramatic, both yours & his pov, gojoâs implied to be taller than reader, slightly suggestive bc itâs gojo, slight angst
word count: 11k
The first time Gojo Satoru learned true, unadulterated jealousy was on a Friday night out in his sports carâthe crickets chirping to the melody of a random song.Â
It was real jealousyânot just simple, petty envy. Not like the envy he felt when someone got to taste the limited edition cupcakes at the bakery before he did or the envy of studying hard and getting a lower score than someone who didnât (which is a lie because Gojo was that very person who was effortlessly good at everything he did).Â
Either way, heâs never felt the bite of jealousy, breaking the flesh as blood drips slowly, lingering as if it could never be washed away from his skin. Never felt it smother his throat with needles and leave him with a metallic taste in his mouth. That is, until today.
It was colder than usual but he still insisted on grabbing some ice-cream from the local convenience store, declaring it was his your reward for putting up with the party Sukuna hostedâthe same party that ended in your dress being soaked in vomit. The atmosphere was perfect for sentiment, for talkingâfor confessing.Â
Youâre humming to the beat of the song, licking your lips clean of the ice cream you just ate. âSatoru,â you murmur his name softly, staring at him through your lashes.Â
âYeah?â His eyes drink in the sight of you: your droopy eyes from sleep, the faded lip tint on your lips, the hoodie he let you borrow thatâs obviously a few sizes too big on you. Thereâs hardly any light coming in but he can still feel your eyes on him, the tension so thick he thinks he might suffocate from it.Â
For a moment, heâs scared, fearful of what you were going to say because he knows this silence. This is the very silence that happens before someone confesses to him, the same suspense that he has to mentally prepare himself for since he knew he was going to break another heart. And heâs terrified that he might have to do it to youâhis friend, his neighbor, someone who heâs known for a very long time.Â
âI need to tell you something,â you start and he winces, shifting uncomfortably on the driverâs seat.Â
âYou do?â He mutters. Youâre nervous. He can tell because heâs known you long enough to understand what youâre feelingâlong enough to know that your eyes are darting from place to place, a habit of yours.
His chest squeezes when you take a deep breath just as he exhales, already making his mind to grant you a swift rejection. He hopes you can forgive him after this.
â--I like Getou and I need your help.â
âListen, Iâm sorry but I just donât see you that wayââ
He blinks, wondering if he heard you right or if he was drunk (he didnât drink at the party because he was your ride home). âWait what?â
It was your turn to blink now. âI like Getou and Iââ
âI heard you the first time,â he cuts you off hastily, clearing his throat to play it cool. He runs a hand through his hair, grazing the side of his undercut. âOkay wow.â
Gojo mentally curses himself for not knowing what else to say other than humming pensively, busying himself by mixing the ice-cream in the tiny container. He still needs time to process, to mentally upload your words to his brain. You like Getou and not him? He pauses, repeating that thought again.Â
You like Getou and not him. Part of him tells himself that this is exactly what he wanted since your friendship wouldnât go to ruin. You managed not to catch feelings for himâmanaged not to fall for him like many others. Yet, heâs confused when another part of him doesnât respond too well once he realizes that this was you he was dealing with.
âThatâs not weird right?â You question, bringing your knees up to your chest and propping your chin atop of them to watch his reactionâreminding him to keep it cool.Â
âNah itâs not weird at all,â he said, not thinking straight when his next words escaped his lips. âSo why Suguru?â And not me? Though, he keeps that last part to himself.Â
âWell isnât it obvious? Heâs tall, handsome, and has a good personality.â
Am I not that? He asks himself, not bothered by how stuck up he may seem. âThatâs not very specific from someone who likes him.â
You huff and he can tell youâre narrowing your eyes at him. âI know you donât wanna hear me yap about the specifics, Satoru.â
âI do.â He says quickly.
You make a noise of surprise, looking interested in his sudden intrigue. âWell okay⌠Suguruâs very caring and attentive. Being around him makes me feel warm inside you know? Iâm not sure when I started liking him but I just know that I just really want to be closer to him. And it doesnât help that heâs just so smart and nice. And his looks are just a bonus.â
âOh,â he utters, not even bothering to curse himself for his lack of response. He tries a weak smile. âYou must really like him.â
Gojo canât help but furrow his brows at the semi-embarrassed expression you wearâas if you were flustered at the mere thought of having a crush. âOh, was I that obvious?â You ask, not even bothering to deny the fact that you were undoubtedly head over heels for his best friend.
Oh god, he thinks he might be sick and he doesnât know why.Â
âAre you going to help me?â Your voice cuts him out of his reverie and heâs cut back into realityâthe reality being the anticipation in your eyes. Did you always look this pretty?Â
Gojo nearly flinches at the thoughts that cross his mind, blaming the unprocessed shock for being the cause of these obscure ideas. He coughs. âHold on. So you donât like me right?â
âWhat? No Iââ your eyes widen in understanding. âOh so thatâs what that was all about. You thought the person I liked was you! How cocky can you be to think everyoneâs in love with you?â
âItâs not cocky if itâs true. Iâm just really lovable yâknow?â
You let out a sarcastic laugh. âThat canât be true since Iâm not everyone.â
I know, he thinks to himself, staying silent as he watches you shuffle in your seat. He didnât just dislike this idea you proposed, he hated it. It wasnât hard to just decline and keep it like thatâlet you figure your feelings on your own.Â
Yet, something about the near-pleading look in your eyes made him reconsider and it filled him with an urge to smooth the wrinkles on your expression. He sighs loudly, rubbing the invisible crease in between his brows. âWell I guess you came to the right person because Iâm an expert at this. 5 star ratings and all that. But what makes you think Iâm going to do this for free?â
âUh the goodness of your heart?â
âCute,â he laughs. âBut no. I want a coffee from the place everyday for a month.â
âWhat?! Are you insane? That means Iâd have to wake up early everyday to get in line!âÂ
He shakes his head, waving his finger around with a disappointed expression. âA small price for love.â
âI donât understand why you even need me for that. You can buy the whole shop yourself, ass,â you whisper the last part behind your palm, making his eyes light up in amusement.
âWhat was that?â
âNothing. Actually you know what? Fine,â you huff. âYouâre right. It is a small price for love. But Iâm not walking back and forth around campus to deliver your coffee.âÂ
âI got that covered,â he grins, already coming up with a plan in his head. He likes this, the banter you two typically enjoyed. It made your duo, a duo. In a normal situation, heâd relax and continue bothering you. Still, the feeling of dread gnaws at his throat and he tries to swallow itâtries to ignore it by pretending to be the same, goofy Gojo youâre used to. And heâs starting to think itâs hard to do that when you look up at him with such genuine gratitude.Â
âSatoru.â
âHm?â
âThank you, I mean it.â
Gojo feels that emotion again, that visceral feeling where he might go sick and vomit all over the car. âYeah.â
He thinks he wouldâve preferred if you confessed to him instead.Â
Gojo wonders if stress (if you can call that) is enough to make someone wake up with a hangover the next day. He didnât drink last night but he thinks he might haveâconsidering the headache that was interrupting his morning.Â
Heâs in the middle of downing a glass of water when his phone buzzes, your name popping up as a notification.Â
(Name): iâm gonna get ur coffee pls comeÂ
Him: come ??? cum
(Name): itâs too early to be doing thisÂ
He sees the bubbles appear before they disappear for a while, only popping up again when heâs in the middle of cracking an egg over the panÂ
(Name): SATORUÂ
(Name): OHMYGOD SATORY SOI SOSÂ
Him: WHATÂ
Him: HELLO???Â
(Name): GETOUS HERE OMG IM GONNAÂ
(Name): HE SAID HI TO MEÂ
(Name): WHAT DO I DO?
Gojo grips his phone a bit tighter, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. He sighs.
Him: say hi backÂ
Him: and then go PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
(Name): no wtf and i meant what do i after this sillyÂ
(Name): i donât know what to do im literally an npc rn
(Name): jk he just said bye :(
Him: shouldâve done what i told u to do
Another name pops up from the top and his eyes scan the name, his brows raising in curiosity. He huffs at the message, feeling a wave of nausea cross him.
Suguru: Youâre close friends with (Name) right?
Him: yeah whyÂ
Suguru: Nothing
Itâs silent for a few seconds and Gojoâs back to eating his eggs, tempted to pop a Tylenol to ease the growing headache. Contrary to popular belief, he was against the reliance of pain-relieving meds, opting to let his body figure things out on its own. Luckily for him, having food in his stomach was enough to relieve the headache.
His mind wanders back to the night in the car where you told him to help you with your crush on his best friendânot fully coming to terms with the fact that he wished you liked him instead. Since when did he start feeling this way and why did he need another man to make him realize he liked or even loved you? The thought of anyone having you for themselves was like hearing the sound of nails against a chalkboard and he was jealous. He finally admitted it.Â
Gojo Satoru wasnât an idiot when it came to his feelings and heâd be a fool if he kept denying his undeniable irritation that came with your crush for Suguru. He places the unwashed dish atop some other bowls and utensils, reminding himself to get to that later since his priority was not to keep you waiting at the coffee shop.Â
Another buzz and Satoru nearly trips over his feet at the dread he gets from seeing his best friendâs message. Are you kidding me? He thinks to himself as he reads the message again.Â
Suguru: Sheâs cute
Yeah, he thinks he might be sick again.
Musicâs playing in the background to substitute the sound of chatter thatâd usually fill the room if Shoko were here. It wasnât rare for Shoko to not flake on parties and it was even rarer for you to leave your comfort zone and go to oneâespecially the last one hosted by Sukuna; but this one was different. Suguru was the host and youâd be an idiot to miss it.Â
You flinch at the feeling of your mascara poking the inside of your eye, cursing quietly as you take a q-tip to fix the mistake.Â
The buzz of your phone makes you freeze.
Gojo: omw to ur houseÂ
Gojo: ill be there in 10Â
You: wait satoru donât get mad but what do i wearÂ
Gojo: âŚ
Gojo: YOU DIDNT LIKE THINK ABOUT THAT AN HR AGO?
You: I WANNA STAND OUT TO ATTRACT THE LOML OKAY?Â
You: so i need ur opinionÂ
Gojo: dude
Gojo: ok
Gojo: just wear whatever u want itâll be fineÂ
You: yeah but what specifically?
Gojo: not smth that makes you look like a grandmaÂ
Gojo: like that dress u wore to the last partyÂ
Gojo: no offense
You: but i liked that dress :((((Â
You: was it that bad?? I mean i had to throw it out bc of the vomit anyways
Gojo: it made u look like a grandma but in a good wayÂ
You: wow okay thanks
Gojo: you looked niceÂ
Gojo: ANYWAYSÂ Â
Gojo: a pair of jeansÂ
Gojo: and that light blue long sleeve that shows ur shouldersÂ
You: really?Â
Gojo: yeah and iâm leaving my apartment now so hurry upÂ
You like the message, tapping your lips to even out the lip tint before you rush to put on the shirt and jeans. Doing a quick double-take in the mirror, you spin once and prop your hands on your hips, snapping a few selfies to commemorate this day.Â
Youâre not sure how much time passes until you hear excessive honking outside, the sound of your phone buzzing as you see Gojoâs caller id. Itâs enough to make your eyes roll as you grab your bagâleaving the door locked and the lights off.Â
Gojoâs grin is boyish and teasing as his eyes scan you from top to bottom. âOh look at you,â he coos. âYouâre actually wearing what I told you to wear.â
âWell I felt like listening today,â you murmur, feeling a small ripple of embarrassment pass you.Â
âAtta girl.â
âShut up,â you mumble, feeling a grin form when you hear him chuckle. He puts his car into reverse mode, propping his arm on the top of your seat. Up close, you can get a stronger whiff of his cologneâits musk and earthiness slowing your heartbeat, calming you. Your eyes scan his outfit: a black pullover layered atop white t-shirt, paired with a pair of pants that were on the edge of being joggers and trousers.
On anyone else, the outfit wouldnât have done them good like it did with Gojo. To your displeasure and awe, he looked effortlessly classy. And if he noticed your lingering gaze, he didnât mention it.Â
âWhatâs your game plan?â His voice draws you back to reality and you watch as he sets the car back into drive mode.Â
âGame plan?â
âThatâs right,â he glances at you, his shades sliding lower on his nose bridge. âYour plan to seduce the love of your life.â
âIâm not going to seduce him!â You gape, narrowing your eyes at his widening smile. His hand reaches down to turn the volume of the song a bit louder, stopping at the upcoming red light.Â
âIâm just joking with you,â he laughs, his eyebrows furrowing slightly before that smile returns to his face, not quite meeting his eyes like it usually does. He sighs before breaking into a laugh that almost sounds bitter. âIâd pay to see that though.â
At the party, youâd imagine yourself âminglingâ with the crowd and letting looseâbeing the life of the party. Unfortunately for you, your feet are still stuck on the kitchen floor and youâre glued to Gojoâs side. Youâd like to blame it on the vomit incident from Sukunaâs party and youâre fortunate enough to not be known as the âgirl that someone threw up on.âÂ
Either way, you werenât especially fond of the fact that you were keeping Gojo from having fun somewhere else. Like in one of the unoccupied rooms upstairs or in the living room playing some drinking games. Itâs enough to make you feel somewhat guilty and suddenly regretful that you even came to this party.Â
You tap his shoulder in the kitchen, offering him a reassuring smile. âSatoru. You donât have to stay with me. I can manage myself!âÂ
âThatâs what you said last time,â he chuckles, rummaging through Getouâs fridge to search for something sweet, frowning when he sees traditional Japanese snacks that his grandparents would eat. âWhat the hell?â He murmurs to himself.
âI mean it,â you say, taking a few steps back. âYou have some fun. I donât want to bother you too much.â
âYouâre notââ
âSatoru. (Name),â a velvety voice greets, all too familiar. A warmth spreads over you. âYou made it.â
âGetou,â you murmured to yourself, glancing at Gojo who was already staring at you.Â
For a second, you see a subtle tick in his jaw, a sight you blame on the lighting since heâs back to normal the moment he turns to face Getou. He grins that teasing smile of his. âSuguru.â
âYou looking through my fridge again, Satoru?â The brunette huffs, kicking the fridgeâs door shut lightlyâexchanging the grin with his friend. Your heart squeezes as he casts a lingering look at you, his smile polite. âHey (Name). Good seeing you here.â
âHuh?â You perk up. âOh you too?â
You inwardly curse at yourself for how awkward you were, giving Gojo a scathing look as he hides his laughter behind his palm. Luckily for you, Getouâs sweet and he was also good at redirecting topics. âYou want something to drink?âÂ
âOh sure,â you blink, offering a thankful smile. âThank you Getouââ
âSuguru.âÂ
You pause, cocking your head to the side in confusion. âSorry?âÂ
âCall me Suguru,â he hands you a red, plastic cupâhis smile pretty enough to make your breath hitch. âWeâve known each other long enough.â
You feel your heart race as he looks at you expectantly, as if you knew what he wanted you to do next. You fidget, suddenly more bashful at the attention he was giving you. âThank you Suguru.â
âNo problem,â he smiles and you like how he looks satisfied with you. He hands another red cup to Satoru who stood beside you, the sarcastic grin of his returning. You take a tentative sip of the booze, watching curiously as Satoru and Suguru talked amongst themselvesâreconnecting despite seeing each other only a day ago.Â
You observe the two of them, mapping the details of Suguruâs face before your eyes land on Satoruâsuddenly aware of the fact that the boy you spent most of your youth with grew up. Sure, you know that his face attracts attention from everyone but that was a token from childhood. It just didnât hit you that he matured, grew up to be the man most would dream of dating. The realization is to make you wonder if Gojo ever registered the fact that you were growing too.
Slowly, you take another sip of your drink, blinking slowly as the alcohol settles in your system. Gojoâs the first to notice when you stumble, how your skin seems to heat up. âHey hey,â he holds you by the shoulders, his voice soft. And if you paid closer attention, you wouldâve seen the way Getouâs brows raised at how gentle his friend was acting towards you. âYou okay?âÂ
Amidst your drunken state, you realize that Gojo didnât bother drinking any of the liquor in his cup during his conversation with Suguru. And Suguru. Sweet Suguru who puts the pieces together and confirms that youâre a lightweight, the guilt evident in his expression. âOh shit. I forgot how strong this liquor is.âÂ
âIâm okay,â you mumble and step forward, ready to excuse yourself to the restroom. Gojo looks like heâs about to say something until a group of unfamiliar faces barge into the kitchen, their faces bright as they greet Getou and Gojo with intentions to keep them occupied. Among the chatter and crowd, you find it easy to slip awayârushing to find a restroom.Â
The first one you went in was already used by a couple that you remembered mumbling apologies to. The others were either locked or used. At some point, your gut told you to go upstairs and you staggered into an unoccupied bathroom where you splashed cold water on your faceâsighing at how nice it felt against your skin.
The musicâs only a fraction of its noise from up here and youâre surprised that thereâs not much of a group upstairs. Thereâs a funny feeling in your stomach as you crouch slightly, mentally cursing yourself for downing the whole cup so quickly, ruining your chances to talk with Suguruâcoherently at least. Part of you wants to sulk over your spoiled opportunities but another part of you just wants to crash on the tiled floor and sleepârest your eyes for a bit.Â
Youâre thankful your mind was still conscious enough to rationalize the unsanitary conditions of the bathroom floor, opting to curl up in one of the hallways insteadâshivering at the feeling of cold marble beneath you. Your eyes droop, a yawn escaping you. And youâre almost certain you wouldâve fallen asleep if not for the gentle shaking of your shoulders.Â
âStop,â you whine softly, your vision blurry as you catch a glimpse of hair the color of snow and a pair of worried filled blue eyes. Your protests turn quickly to bemusement. âSatoru? What are you doing here?â
You think he smiles as he kneels down on one knee to be eye level with you. âHow about I get you off the ground first?âÂ
âI donât wanna. Let me sleep here,â you shake your head, ignoring how your body felt warm at how softly he treated you.Â
âCâmon,â he chuckles. âThe groundâs dirty. Let's get you to a bed at least.â
In your drunken state, your mind still decides it favors a soft comforter over cold marble and you see his eyes soften when you go limp in his armsâletting him lift you from the ground. âGood girl.â
Your mind goes fuzzy at the sound of that and youâre not sure if itâs the alcohol or something else that makes your temperature rise. In that simple moment, you let his arms wrap around you, cradling you to his chest as he makes his way downstairs. All your thoughts stop as your eyes close, drowning the sound of the party out as you permit sleep to take over. His hands give your thighs an occasional squeeze, the gesture oddly intimate yet you donât bother questioning it or objecting to it.Â
Even with the veil of sleep dropping on your form, you still recognize Suguruâs voice as he tells Satoru to take care of you, his tone apologeticâhaving been the one to give you the liquor. They talk for a bit and once more, you feel the bounce of each step as he carries you out the house.
Youâre barely awake when Gojo puts you in the passenger seat and you feel disappointment wash over you when he stops holding you. Youâre not sure when you grabbed onto the sleeve of his shirt, your eyes half-lidded as you peered up at him. âDonât go.â
A noise of protest escapes your lips when he removes your cold hand from his shirt gently, rather taking it in between his warmer ones. âI wonât.â
âSatoru.â
âHm?â
âI like when you compliment me.â
âOh yeah?â He says, laughing a bit. âItâs hard not to.â
The music and cheers in Suguruâs house are still audible even in Gojoâs car, your vision getting darker and darker with each blink. Still, you can still feel Gojoâs hand gripping yoursâhis thumb rubbing circles on the skin as you invite sleep back in, taking deep breaths as you breathe in his cologne.Â
And as sleep came to life, you allowed the dreams to live as well.Â
Was there such a thing as a relationship between dreams and memories? In moments of delirium, you canât single out whatâs real and whatâs notâwas it a dream or did it actually happen?
But now that days have passed and youâve given yourself more time, youâre certain that Gojo was the one who carried you out of the house and spent his night caring for you. So you ruled out the possibility that the night was a dream, rather a memory that made you feel soft insideâgrateful yet unsure. And if you wanted to ponder harder, you wouldâve done so if not for the hell you were experiencing this week.Â
Forgetting the content during a quiz. Getting yelled at by your boss. Having stepped in bird shit. Waking up late nearly every day because youâd forget to put your alarm on.Â
If that wasnât enough, you got in an argument with your parents over the phone. It was about something stupid and you were so frustrated that you ended up walking to some 7/11âbuying yourself an ice-cream to cheer yourself up. The argument was so dumb and you werenât even sure what you guys were even arguing about. All you knew that you should probably call them later to talk it out; you also knew that this week couldnât get any worse.
What was Satoru doing right now? You think to yourself, pulling out your phone to check your messagesâfrowning when you saw none from him. Your eyes land on a message from Suguru, seeing the link he sent you to some video he found funny or intriguing. After the party, you were shocked to see an unknown number texting you, claiming it was Suguru and that Satoru gave your number to him. The day that happened, you texted him using exclamation marks and thanked himâsmiling at your phone as you two exchanged witty messages with one another.Â
You sighed, unlocking your phone and clicking Satoruâs contact and phoning him. You almost hang up after several rings but you hear his voice after the nth ring. âHello?â
âSatoru?â You say, your voice cracking the second your lips part to speak. You werenât expecting to cry and neither did Satoruâthough you can hear the concern laced in his voice as he questions your whereabouts.Â
âWhere are you sweetheart?â You hear rustling in the background amidst his voice and your sniffles. âIâll pick you up. Your locationâs shared with me right?â
âMhm,â you wipe your eyes, fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie.Â
âOkay just stay there and donât go anywhere. Iâll be there in a few. Donât cry (Name).â
You think you might cry harder with how sweet his voice was.Â
Satoru thinks he might be the only one who notices the rift between you and him. And heâs not sure if heâs the one causing it or if itâs you. But after that night with you (in his car again), heâs been thinking about how soft you were in his arms; how he liked the way your head drooped against his chest. Or maybe he likes you but heâs not going to think about that unless he wants another headache.Â
Regardless, he finds himself looking at his phone sporadically, subconsciously eager to see your name pop up unexpectedlyâeager for things to go back to normal. Even though you two still speak, heâs almost sure that heâs not imagining the awkward tension in the air.Â
Was he too intrusive when he carried you out to his car? Were you mad at him because he didnât leave Suguru and you alone in the kitchen? It was a selfish thing to do, he admits. His original idea was to leave you alone with Suguru so youâd get to chat with himâget to know him like you intended to do at the party; but seeing Suguru give you that sly smile of his was enough to make Gojo ditch his plans of playing Cupid.Â
If Gojo was a good man, heâd feel happy that you were getting what you wanted since he knew you werenât the only one interested. Like with the message Suguru sent to Satoru and how he eyed you at the party; how he called Satoru over for a bit and told him that he understood why people liked you or found you attractive; how he commented on how the shirt you wore suited you.Â
No shit, I picked it, he thought to himself as he recalled that night. Satoru always knew you were beautiful and he hated that everyone else knew too. You werenât even his yet but he didnât want to share youâto let anyone else hold you or have you. Seeing you blush and smile shyly at his best friend made him want to pukeâmade him want to claw his eyes out. That should be him and god he wishes it was.
He was selfish yet he never promised to be good. Yet, this was for you. He wanted you to be happy, is what he told himself whenever he saw you and Suguru talking.Â
His phone buzzes and itâs almost embarrassing how quickly he snatches it, the anticipation in his eyes fading when he sees that itâs Suguru messaging him about the party today. Satoru sighs, rubbing the spot between his brows as he leans on the kitchen counter, suddenly reminded that he planned a party at his place today. It was an impulsive decision to forget about the tension between you two and Satoruâs kinda wishing he took the time to talk it out with you rather than planning something else.Â
He invited a good amount of people and was going to invite you as well to give him a reason to call you. But lucky for him, you made things easier for him by calling him. Satoru thinks itâs not healthy for his blood temperature to rise just at the sight of your name on his phone and heâs already grinning when he picks up. âHello?â
âSatoru?âÂ
Oh. He pauses, his brows furrowing at how your voice cracked as you tried to hide your sniffles. His first thought was to wonder who made you sad and he thinks itâs scary how hearing you cry was enough to send his emotions in a frenzy. But you needed him and he didnât want you to be alone. âWhere are you sweetheart?â He asks, the nickname flowing off his tongue before he can stop. âIâll pick you up. Your locationâs shared with me right?â
âMhm,â You mumbled back and his heart nearly snapped in two with how dejected you sounded. He frowns, grabbing his jacket and his keysârushing to slip on his sneakers.Â
âOkay just stay there and donât go anywhere. Iâll be there in a few. Donât cry (Name).â
You make a sound of understanding and he hangs up, his finger tapping to click on Suguruâs contact. Satoru hears other familiar voices in the background but he doesnât pay much attention to it.Â
âWhatâs up Satoruâ?â
âPartyâs off.â
âWhat? Wait what are youââ
âSorry something came up. Iâll tell you later,â he says, hanging up before his friend can say anything else. He knows he should feel bad for flaking out last minute but his list of priorities had you at the top of it. And he really didnât care if anyone else would understand.Â
Youâre regretting the choice of shorts in the chilly night air and the ice-cream you ate wasnât helping you shiver any less.Â
The way Satoru sounded made that warm, fuzzy feeling settle in your stomach again. He sounded like he would drop whatever he was doing just to get to you and it made you feel special. You think back to the sound of âsweetheartâ from his lips, shaking your head when you feel your blood get warm.
â(Name)?â Satoruâs voice startles you from your thoughts and you think the sound of it could erase all your troubles. âYou alright?â He asks, shrugging the jacket off his shoulders and draping them over your legs, kneeling down to see your face.
You only nod. âI want to go home.â
âYeah I can take you backââ
âNo,â you shake your head. âBack to your place.â
For a moment, youâve stunned him but that surprise left as fast as it arrived. He sighs, tapping your knee with his finger. âUsually dinner comes firstââ
âNot like that you idiot,â you kick him lightly, a grin forming on your lips. âYour methods of comforting are weird.â
âYeah?â He laughs, the sound blending with the wind. âWell maybe Iâm not trying to comfort you,â he eyes you with a teasing glint in his eyes and flashes a lopsided grin. He looked almost sweet as he did sly, the blend making your heart pick up in pace.Â
You squirm, mustering a tone of nonchalance. âI changed my mind. Iâm going back to my place.â
This time he chuckles, his eyes narrowing in amusement. âNuh uh. Itâs my job to wipe that frown off your face,â he says, the corny phrase making you roll your eyes. âCâmon, Iâll be good to you.â
You pretend to think, ignoring the attentive expression he wore. âFine. I guess Iâll let you take me home.â
âThatâs my girl,â he grinned, standing up to his full height. You beam at him, matching his steps as you two reach his door. By the time the two of you were settled at his place, you already spoke to your parents in privateâclearing up the misunderstandings like Satoru reminded you to do. You were glad you had him and even more glad that things were falling back to place.Â
Your eyes scan your surroundings, noticing how he mustâve tidied things up. âDid you clean your place?â
âHm?â He grabs two mugs from the cabinet. âOh yeah. I was going to have a party here.â
âToday?â
âThatâs right,â he drawls, glancing at you from the corner of his eyes. âI was going to call you to see if you wanted to go.â
âReally?â That was a shock to you. âAre you still gonna have one today?â
âNah. Canceled it last minute.â
You pause, raising your brows as you try not to jump to conclusions. âWhyâd you cancel it?â
âHad better things to do. I'd rather hang out with you anyways,â he says casually, smiling when he finds the packets of hot cocoa. âFound it!â
Did he cancel the party for me? You think to yourself, a bit surprised that you came to that conclusion; but if you were right and he did, you wouldnât know what to feel other than appreciation and maybe something else. Whether that was true or not, you know that you should be feeling guilt and not giddiness from having him prioritize you. Was it normal to feel this way for Satoru? Youâre about to let your thoughts fill your head but you feel your breath hitch at how he seems to lean closer to you.Â
His hands move you by the hips, the touch barely lasting five seconds. âSorry I gotta get the spoons,â he murmurs, paying no mind to how you hold your breath. Your eyes fall to his biceps, swallowing a gasp as you see how the black material of his shirt moved with every movement he makes. There was no way he was human when he looked like that.
Oh my god, you think to yourself, suddenly mortified at the fact that you were checking him out. What was wrong with you right now? You always knew Gojo was attractive but you didnât think he was this attractive. And if he had any idea of your internal conflict he didnât pay it any mind.Â
âCan you go get the movie ready for me?â
âUh huh,â you nod immediately, quickening your pace as you try to distract yourself. By the time he sits next to you, the blankets and snacks are already placed neatly on the living room table. You smile and mutter a thank you when he hands you the mug of hot cocoa.Â
âFeel better?â He asks, propping an arm on the head of the couch once youâre halfway through the movie: a random romcom you picked to cheer you up. Even as someone who claims heâd rather watch a movie with more action, you think the drama that comes with romcoms intrigues himâmuch more than heâd like to admit.Â
You take a sip of your drink, your eyes flitting to him. âMuch better.â
âI bet,â he murmurs, his eyes glancing at the way your knees touched. The scene panels to a teary confession the female lead does, the music dramatic with strings in the background. You watch intently, observing the expressions both characters make on screen.
âYâknow, I never understood how they can always come up with a speech like that on the spot,â Satoru comments, plopping a few gummy bears in his mouth. âIsnât that unrealistic?â
âItâs a movie,â you point out, watching as the male lead hung onto every word the female lead had to say. âItâs not supposed to be realistic.â
âI guess youâre right. But that stuff apparently happens in real life right?â
âWouldnât you know? You have people confessing to you all the time.â
âI donât give them much time to continue speaking,â he shrugs.Â
You donât like how uneasy you feel after he says that. âWell, maybe itâs love that makes this kind of stuff happen.â
This earns you an amused snicker. âOf course youâd say that. You gonna do that with Suguru? Confess to him from the bottom of your heart?â
You roll your eyes. âTo do that, Iâd have to be in love with him.â
âAre you?â
âNo,â you give him an incredulous look. âI hardly know the guy. I just really like him.â
He makes a sound of understanding but you feel as if youâre deluding yourself when you see the look of relief cross his face. You turn to him, the movie forgotten all of a sudden. âWould you do that?â
âWhat? Confess to Suguru with the bottom of my heart?âÂ
âYeah sure. Thatâs what I meant.â you huff, seeing his teasing grin form. You sigh. âNo likeâŚconfess to someone you love.â
Heâs quiet, the faraway look in his eyes confirming that heâs deep in thought. Youâre not sure why a pang of irritation hits you when you realize that there might be someone Satoruâs in love with. And youâre not sure if itâs because heâs not telling you or because you want to be that someone. You go with the former because youâre supposed to like Suguru.Â
His eyes wander to meet yours and the tick in his jaw makes you nervousâmakes your palms sweaty because heâs never looked at you like that. Youâre not even sure words could describe what emotion he had on his face. He smilesânot the smile thatâs crooked and boyish. Itâs the smile thatâs sharp and makes his eyes narrow. âI might.â
âYou might?â You ask, hating how breathless your voice sounded to your earsâsomething that he notices with the way amusement practically glimmers in his eyes. You swallow a gasp when his gaze falls to your lips, quickly flying back to your eyes.Â
âMaybe,â he whispers and you canât help but wet your lips, feeling faint when the bright blue of his eyes darkens to black. You donât flinch when his head tilts, his arm coming to the side to trap you between the couch. His cologne overwhelms you, makes you drunk on him. Heâs so close that you can feel his breath hit your face.Â
âSatoruââÂ
The sound of your phone buzzing crushes the tension quickly and you let him lean backâlooking as if he had more to say. You feel a smidge of disappointment as you grab your phone. âItâs Suguru,â you say and youâre not sure why your inner voice begs Satoru to tell you to ignore the phone callâto act like he cares more.Â
âShouldnât you answer it?â He questions and you hate that sinking feeling in your stomach when he doesnât even spare a glance at youâas if acting like he wasnât about to kiss you seconds ago. You can only frown, nodding as you watch him stand upâstill not offering you one single look. âIâll clean up.â
As you glance at your phone, at the name of Suguru appearing on your screen, you hope for the slightest bit of joyâthat lovesick feeling you get whenever youâd see him. Yet, it felt wrong. This felt wrong. And apparently, Suguru could tell from your voice that there was something bugging you.Â
âIs everything alright? You donât sound too good.â
Your eyes linger on Satoruâs figure moving to the kitchen. You think Suguru mentions something about a date but you donât pay much attention, not feeling all that bad as you drown out his voice. âYeah. Iâm fine. What were you saying?â
âI was asking if you wanted to go to dinner with me tomorrow. Iâll pick you up at 7 and we canââ
âSure,â you say, trying to ignore the way your body lurches at your responseâas if it didnât want this. âSure. Iâll see you at 7.â
You donât catch what he says when he hangs up, only thinking of how Satoru looked at you when he was leaning closer. The thought doesnât horrify you as much as it should but you think that if he had kissed you, you probably wouldâve kissed him back.Â
If someone told you a month ago that you were going on a date with Suguru, you wouldâve cried tears of joy and celebrated. But now, youâre almost undeniably feeling a wave of indifference hit you and it feels awful. Suguruâs perfectâhis sharp features and his charming smile thatâd send anyone into a frenzied mess. Or maybe most tend to fixate on how suave he is with his wordsâmixing the subtlest of flirtations with simple compliments.
Heâs everything you couldâve asked for. Yet, you find yourself missing the ruthless beauty you saw in Satoruâthe striking blue of his eyes and the rare color of his hair. You find yourself missing the rasp of his voice, how itâd soften that night when he comforted you; you find yourself missing his warm and strong embrace as he took care of you in your inebriated state; you find yourself missing how close he was that night on his couch and how he looked at you.Â
At some point, you found yourself replaying that scene over and over again. The first few times, you were giddy with hormones as you imagined him leaning closer and kissing you. After a while, you wanted the image gone because it didnât happen. He pulled away. He let you pick up the call from Suguru. He acted like nothing happened when in reality, a lot did happen. You two were finally breaching the line of friends and he knew that.Â
So why? That question plagued your mind for days after and every time you think you forgot about it, the memory of him would remind you all over again. And when he only congratulated you when you told him about your date with Suguru you felt betrayed. Why donât you care? You almost blurted out but technically he did care. After all, he was the one who was trying to set you guys up so why did you suddenly want to change your mind?
You think you might hate him a little for being so good at acting like everythingâs normal and you think you might hate more for making your heart beat so fast. Things werenât supposed to end up like this. You werenât supposed to imagine your best friend kissing you breathless or taking you on a date.Â
Everythingâs going to fall into place, you tell yourself. Youâve already dolled up and were in the middle of spraying your perfume when Getou messaged you that he was already here. Heâs relaxed in the car as you enter the car. This scene feels the same, you think to yourself, recalling the way Gojo greeted you the last time he picked you up.
âYouâre wearing the shirt you wore to the party,â Getou points out and you look down at your shirt, gaping at the revelation that youâre wearing the same top Gojo told you to wear. Even with the company of another man, your subconscious still wishes he was here.Â
âI didnât even notice,â you mumble, smiling at the brown-haired male as he drives. The small talk is all natural as you two make your way to the restaurant and youâre grateful that Suguruâs such an easy person to talk with. Heâs nice. Really nice and you feel almost guilty for not being as enthusiastic as you wanted to be.Â
Itâs only when youâre midway through the meal that he mentions it. âYouâre not here.â
âWhat?â
âHere,â he shrugs, glancing at you with an empty smile. âYouâre thinking about something else arenât you?â
âIâm notââ
âDonât worry Iâm not mad,â he says and you know heâs telling the truth. âIâm curious. What are you thinking about?â
This makes you squirm in discomfort, a bit uneasy at how perfectly he read you. Satoruâs always made comments about Getouâs intuitive feeling for emotions and youâre starting to think he wasnât exaggerating. âWhat if I donât wanna tell you?â You joke.
âThen youâd leave me to assume,â he answers easily, the corner of his lips curling upwards. âIâm not an idiot (Name). I know when a ladyâs thinking about someone else in my presence.â
When you try to protest, he only smiles. âIs it Satoru?â
Your silence is enough said. You want to deny himâwant to shake your head and utter a firm âno.â But something about the question makes you lose your sense of thought and Suguru understands that too. âAre you in love with him?â
This catches your attention. âNo. I like you not him.â
âArenât we well past the point of lying now?â He gives a good-natured chuckle. âIf you liked me then you wouldnât have looked at your phone so many times as if you were expecting a call.â
You widen your eyes. âIâm sorry I didnât mean toââ
âNah Iâm really not mad,â he sighs. âBut Iâm interested in why you didnât decline my offer for a date.â
Youâre silent for a while, musing over his words. âWhen you called me, Satoru and I were about to kiss. Or wellâat least I think we were about to kiss.
âSo whyâd you pick it up? I know Satoru enough to know that a call from me isnât enough to make him stop with whatever heâs doing,â he raises a brow and you catch a roll of his eyes as he remembers something.Â
âItâs because he was the one who was setting us up together.â
Suguru makes a sound of confusion, nodding at you to continue. You take a big breath. âI asked Satoru to help me get with you.â
Getou makes a âoâ with his mouth, nodding in consideration as he processes your words. His pity makes you feel small and youâre finally experiencing the impact tenfold. âOh (Name).â
âYeah,â you shrug. âSo now Iâm pretty sure I messed up the friendship because I was stupid and heâs never gonna like me backââ
âThatâs not true,â he stops you, taking a sip from his wine. âSatoruâs different around you.â
âWell thatâs because Iâve known him for a while now.â
âMaybe. But he doesnât go out of his way to help people like he does with you. Even an idiot could notice that.â
âThat doesnât mean he likes me backââ
âYou donât know that yet,â he retorts, that smile of his returning again. âJust like I didnât know you were in love with my best friend the entire time.â
You wince, swallowing as you peer up at him. You know he didnât intend for the comment to burn but a small part of you thinks he did it on purpose. The sight of you sulking brings a wider grin to play on his face. âRelax. Iâm only playing with you,â he pauses. âIâm a bit jealous that Satoru's got such a cute girl in love with him though.âÂ
His teasing makes you laugh. âWhat if he doesnât love her back?â
âThen heâd be an idiot,â he says, giving you a look as he asks for the bill. âIf he breaks your heart you know who to go to. Iâd be happy to have you for myself.â
You roll your eyes, smiling softly when he coyly smiles. Suguru was kind enough to offer to drop you off at your place but you told him you wanted to see Satoruâbringing a surprised look on the brown-haired maleâs face. Youâre not sure how apparent it was, but you reeked of anxiety and Suguru was quick to point it out.
âIâll wait for you,â he says nonchalantly, shooing you with his hand once you stare at him in bewilderment. âGo. Just do me a favor and message me when you guys are gonna get uh intimate.â
âWeâre notââ you click your tongue at his grin. You thank him, rushing to Satoruâs flatâthe sound of your heels clicking against the floor.Â
If you were in a movie, there would be dramatic music playing in the backgroundâperhaps orchestra or a sappy love song. The scene was so cliche but youâre understanding why the protagonists always ran: it was love. You were in love with Gojo Satoru.Â
You ring his doorbell, fixing your hair as you ready yourself to see himâmentally preparing the script of your confession. Please be home, please be home, pleaseâ
The door opens and a plethora of blue looks back at you, the surprise evident in them. You visibly brighten, smiling as you see him. âSatoru Iââ
âSatoru?â another voice says from behind himâthe voice evidently female. You freeze, feeling as if this image was in slow motion as you see a glimpse of a girl behind Satoru. Your eyes flit to both of them, the speech you prepared in your head drying up like a sore. âWhoâs this?â
You hate that you can only watch. âItâs just a friend. Why donât you go back inside for a bit, yeah?â
Sheâs so pretty, it hurts. There wasnât a speck of imperfection on her and the need to curl up in a ball never felt stronger. The girl nods at Satoru, glancing at you in curiosity as she leaves you two alone.Â
You think you might hate a little bit for looking at you in concern. âIs there something wrong? Are you okay? If somethingââ
âNo. Nothingâs wrong Iâm justââ you say, wishing your voice was louder at this moment. You avoid his eyes, fearing that youâd end up crying in front of him if you continued to stare at him. âI need to go.âÂ
âWhat? But you just got hereââ
âI donât know why I came here. This was a mistake and Iââ you sigh shakily, turning on your heel to leave.Â
Satoru grabs you by the wrist, his gaze soft as he shakes his head when he sees you try to pry his hand off of you. âJust tell me what I can doââ
âSuguruâs waiting for me,â you say quickly, ignoring the way his face drops. âHeâs outside right now.âÂ
You hold your breath the moment his hand slowly slips off your wrist, taking a few steps back as you make your way outside. Not once do you turn back as you try your best to hold the tears inâultimately failing as they fall as quickly as they appear.Â
By the time you reach Suguruâs car, your make-up is already ruined. At first, he snaps his head back at you with a smile, the curve of lips quickly disappearing as he sees your lip trembling. âNo?â
âNo,â you confirm, sitting back into the car and wiping your tears with a tissue he hands you. Thereâs no words spoken between you two as he starts the car, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. Ironically, you listen to the soundtrack of âThe Other Womanâ playing in his car and heâs quick to change the song. He clears his throat.
âI didnât think he was that stupid,â he says after some time, signaling right as he reaches the stop light.Â
âHe wasnât,â you murmur. âI was the stupid one for thinking that we could be more than friends.â
After the ordeal a couple nights ago, youâre not even ashamed that youâre blatantly avoiding Gojo like the plague. You even turned off your read receipts for him which you wouldâve found so petty if you didnât feel so frantic at the sound of his name. Originally, you thought heâd put up more of a fight and be more persistent in getting your attentionâonly you were proven wrong when you didnât see any of his attempts increasing.Â
Disappointed, you were caught in a dilemma. You wanted this distance but craved his presence. At some point, your thoughts ran dry and you were in a slump. Were you always this bad at making up your mind? Â
No. You werenât. You didnât think excessively hard when you decided you liked Getou and when you stopped liking him. Nor did you think super hard about your other crushes. Gojo made your brain hurt and if this was love, youâre not sure you really liked it; but it felt so nice to think about how it would feel to be loved by himâto have him kiss you.Â
Which is why you thought it was a great idea to avoid him because surely time makes the feelings fade. And you hope they fade fastâespecially after you saw him with that girl. You bite back your jealousy at the thought of what they did together. Today was supposed to be a mental health day. It was if fate allowed you to have little to nothing to do and you were going to take advantage of it.Â
The coffee house was ambient with the occasional loud laughter from groups of friends. You were halfway through your book, taking a sip from your drink as you flipped the pages. This was what you were meant for: reading novels in a cafe, keeping a low profile, and protecting your peace.Â
Youâre about midway through the big plot twist until you hear the sound of a chair scraping and your heart freezes in your chest when you see Gojo stare back at you. Only this time, he looks serious and even annoyed.Â
âI knew Iâd find you here,â he begins, tapping his finger nails on the wooden table. You donât miss the way a few people take a few double-takes when they walk past him. So much for keeping a low profile.Â
âGojo,â you acknowledge him awkwardly, fidgeting with the pages of your book.
Your stomach does a flip when his jaw twitches and his eyes cross your face. He sighs, leaning back and adjusting his seating position. âAre you mad at me?â
âWhy would I be mad at you?â
âYou literally just called me Gojo,â he said and if you were more rational, you wouldâve laughed at how childish he sounded over you not using his first name.Â
âA lot of people call you Gojo,â you point out, still not meeting his eyes.Â
âYouâre not just âa lot of people.â And you always call me Satoru,â he murmurs.Â
You tense up. There he goes again: treating you like youâre special. It makes you confused and makes your heartbeat skip. You clear your throat. âIâm not mad at you.â
âThen why are you avoiding me?â He says, a bit loudly at that. It was unlike Gojo to attract attention to personal matters in public and the guilt hits you. You were so caught up in your own feelings that you completely ignored how he wouldâve felt. Even if he only thought of you as a friend, anyone wouldâve felt mad if put in the situation you put Gojo in.Â
You glance at the curious gazes in the cafe, grabbing him by the hand as you pull him outside to a secluded area. You quickly drop his hand, a bit surprised that he let you even hold it. âWhat are you talking about?â You ask, not sure why youâre playing dumb.Â
âYouâre avoiding me,â he says, staring down at you. Sometimes, you forget how tall Satoru really is and how his gaze can make anyone feel small. âDid I do something to make you mad?â
You think back to him and the girl. âNo you didnât do anything.â
âThen what the hell is it?â He says, sounding more mad than you initially thought. His eyes scan over your faceâobserving your pursed lips and aversion from his eyes. He clicks his tongue. âIs this about the other night?â
You really wish you didnât snap your head so fast to meet his eyes. The other night couldâve meant many things but you knew he was referring to a specific one. âNo,â you say and you already know he doesnât believe you.Â
â(Name),â he says softly. âWere you jealous?â
Hearing him saying it out loud makes you cringe. You shake your head adamantly, trying to muster up the courage to not break eye-contact with him. You wonder if he could hear how loud your heartbeat was. âIâm not jealous. Why would I be jealous?â
âYou tell me,â he voices in that tone that tells you that heâs already figured it out. For all the years youâve known Gojo, youâve become well-acquainted with his habits and his mannerisms. And you knew him well enough to realize that he wasnât going to stop with the questions until you told him the truth.Â
He always did this. Always made sure to pummel the truth out of you and it didnât matter how dirty he played. âThen why did you go to me in the first place? Didnât you have Suguru outside waiting for you?â
âIââ
âWhat was so important about what you wanted to tell me that you left Suguru waiting for you? What was it and why are you so scared that youâre avoiding me?â
âItâs because I like you!â You finally say, knowing that he bested you in this game of his. The regret hits you so hard you feel like running away again. Only this, he doesnât let you when he pulls you by the shoulder.Â
âWhat?â He says breathlessly, his eyes wide with wonder. Itâs over, you think to yourself. Heâs going to hate you after this because you ruined the friendship.Â
âI avoided you because I like you,â you admit quietly. âAnd because I saw you with that girl the other night.â
â(Name)...âÂ
âStop,â you murmur, feeling the tears form. âStop. I already know what youâre gonna say, okay? It doesnât matter anymore.â
You shrug him off, wiping your tears with your sleeve. The plans for âprotecting your peaceâ almost seemed silly now because you couldnât rewind time and undo all of this. You donât bother saying goodbye to Gojo as you take your chances in leaving. And you desperately wonder how you were going to move on from this.Â
Gojo thinks heâs in a fever dream. Your confession stunned him into oblivion and if it werenât for your tears, he thinks he mightâve stayed in one spot for hours on end. The night you came over, Gojo already had enough on his mind. Seeing you in the flesh made him lose the logical side of his brain and his mind just replayed that night you two nearly kissed.Â
He remembered being able to taste how nervous you wereâhow you found purchase on his shoulders as he tried his hardest not to pin you to the couch and kiss you stupid. He remembered how soft you were and how that thought would torture him for days on.Â
Gojo knew what he did after was an asshole move but he thought the phone call from Suguru served as a reminder that he couldnât have you. You two were best friends and to ruin that because he wanted you was selfish of him. He was already selfish enough to want to keep you for himself but you wanted Suguru.Â
Thatâs why when you came to his place, he was confused. Gojo did something stupid and didnât want the thoughts of you to keep popping up. He recalled dialing the number of some girl he stopped talking to ages ago just to not have you occupy his mind.Â
When he saw your brows furrow at the sight of her, he was surprised to say the least. He ruled out the possibility of jealousy early on and just kept it as that. But now, on this chilly afternoon and in some secluded corner, you were confessing to him.Â
You like him. You like him back. Sure, you didnât love him like he loves you (or at least he thinks so) but that's besides the point. He collects himself the moment he sees the tears forming in your eyes, panic coursing through him.Â
Did his silence make you misunderstand? Did you know that he was ready to scream and tell the whole world that he finally got the girl of his dreams? How he was prepared to pull you into a crushing hug and hold you like he had heaven in his arms?Â
He forgot you werenât a mind reader and it dawned on him that he caused your tears. He doesnât want to be the guy who lets misunderstandings marinate nor does he want to be the cause of your fallout. He was going to fix this.Â
If you thought he was going to let you go that easily then you severely underestimate him. Because Gojo Satoru was willing to fight for your love.
You think youâre in some sappy k-drama when he grabs you by the wrist the second time. If you werenât crying your eyes out, you wouldâve laughed at him and he wouldâve laughed with you. But thereâs only a wave of frustration when he doesnât let go. âSatoru let me goââ
âNo,â he says with a deadpan and you almost think he sounds desperate. Youâre about to say something but he only steps closer. âYou canât run away like you did before. Thatâs the easy way outââ
âIâm notââ
âYou are,â he interrupts. âAnd Iâm not gonna let you because youâre gonna listen to what I have to say.â
Youâre almost reluctant to stay silent but you give in when he squeezes your wristâas if begging you to stay. You sigh. âFine.â
âGood,â he whispers, racking his brain for what to say. He takes a deep breath. âA while back, I said I didnât understand how the characters from romance movies always knew what to say in moments like these. You know those super long speeches? It seemed unrealistic to me but I think I understand now.â
You let him continue, clinging onto every word that falls from his lips. âItâs so easy to say stuff like this. When youâre in love with someone, you notice the little things about them. I noticed you and you were the only thing on my mind. You still are the only thing on my mind. Do you get what I mean?â
You watch in awe as he continues, stuttering over some of his words which was so rare for him. âThe night you told me you liked Suguru I was so annoyed. Iâve never gotten jealous of Suguru or anyone but I wanted to be the one that you liked. I wanted to be the one that you dressed up for and the one you smiled at. It drove me insane when you went on a date with him and I hate that I didnât just say fuck it and steal you away sooner.â
He takes a chance to catch his breath, ruffling his hair as he finally flashes you a crooked grinâa mix of embarrassed and boyish. âThat girl you saw me withâŚI never did anything with her,â he admits and you think you might fall over from shock. âI couldnât. I just kept thinking about you and I wanted you on my mind all the time. I didnât want to think about anyone else and didnât want anyone to take your placeââ
âWhat Iâm trying to say is that Iâm in love with you,â he finally says. âI already said that earlier but I want to say it again. I think Iâve always loved youâeven when we were kids. I think little kid me always wanted your attention. I just never knew what I felt until I realized that you werenât mineânot mine to love. And I donât think thereâs nothing in the world that I want more than you.â
At this point, your mouth is already ready to catch flies as you listen to his ramblings about his affections. You think you might cry. Gojoâs usually not good with words but you can tell how genuine he isâhow much he meant this. âThen all those times you helped me with Suguru?â
âI hated doing that,â he huffs. âI swear I was about to punch Suguru every time he called you cute.â
You laugh, feeling jittery all over. âWould you?â
âIâm a bit worried that you like that idea a bit too much.â
You grin, shrugging. âMaybe a little. I guess I should tell you that I really wanted you to kiss me when we were on the couch.â
âYou did?â He practically beams, cupping your face with his hand. You feel your stomach do twists when his thumb grazes the skin of your cheek softly, as if this was always normal.Â
âAnd I should probably tell you that I love you too,â you say firmly, gaining a rush of confidence. âAnd you should probably kiss me right now.â
The smile on his face might just be the prettiest thing youâve seen in the world. He leans in, cupping your face as he presses his lips against yours. The way he holds you makes you feel safe and you think you might love him a little more when he moves his hand to your neck.Â
You break the kiss. âDoes this mean weâre dating now?â
He laughs. âDo I need to kiss you again for you to say yes?âÂ
When you nod, he pulls you in again and again. And if this was his way of asking, youâd say yes each time.Â
2K notes
¡
View notes
Sweet Like Grenadine
Daniel Ricciardo x Reader
Masterlist
Summary: You love weddings. However, you donât love being stuck by yourself at a wedding, a plus one to a boyfriend whoâs too busy for you. Enter Daniel Ricciardo, your knight in shining armor.
Word Count: 5.6k
a/n: thought of this concept and couldnât get Danny out of my head. Heâs soooo guy you flirt with at a wedding and will probably never see again coded
Warnings: alcohol/intoxication, mild sexual content (heavy makeout? idrk how to tag this stuff), one (1) shitty boyfriend
The table in front of you is draped with a heavy white tablecloth. At the center is a large bouquet of flowers, the number 19 stuck haphazardly in the middle of it. Not last, but certainly low on the list. You canât blame them- you barely know the bride and groom.
Youâre only here because your boyfriend is a groomsman. A plus one. You love weddings, so of course youâd agreed, but you hadnât really considered how lonely an event like this could be. The only person you really know has been busy all day. You canât complain, wonât complain, you know thatâs why heâs here, butâŚ
Youâre sitting at a table full of strangers. Itâs not exactly fun. Thereâs still hours left of this. Dinner hasnât even been served, thereâs still speeches and cake and dancing and honestly, youâre already exhausted. You need a drink, but the bar isnât open yet. You need to take off your heels, but youâre pretty sure that would be frowned upon. You need to talk to your boyfriend.
Heâs busy, though. He told you as much when you found him between the ceremony and the reception. Thereâs a pang in your chest still at the way he brushed you off, the way he told you he didnât have time to chat. You get it, you really do. Youâre not going to get upset about it.
The seat to your left has been empty since you sat down, but someone collapses into it, letting out a heavy sigh. You turn to look, hoping for some sort of familiar face or at least a friendly one, and youâre met with-
âHi. âM Daniel,â he says, sticking his hand out to shake yours.
The thing is, Daniel is a familiar face, but not for any of the reasons youâd hoped for. You know Daniel because your boyfriend is obsessed with Formula 1. You try to keep up so you can take part in his conversations, but itâs never really been your thing. But you know enough to know Daniel Ricciardo.
âYeah, I⌠I know,â you say, before you slap your hand over your mouth. âShit! Iâm sorry. Thatâs weird. Sâjust- my boyfriendâs a huge fan-â
You swear his face drops slightly, but he plasters that grin right back on before he says, âand youâre not a fan?â
âIâm not not a fan,â you say. âHeâs just the bigger fan. Of the two of us.â
Daniel nods. You finally shake his hand. He never stops looking at you, never stops smiling. You tell him your name, and he repeats it back to you, his accented version making you smile.
âWell, is he here? Iâd love to meet the bigger of the two fans,â he says. âWe talking, like, box fan, industrial blower, air boat fan? How big?â
You laugh, his hand squeezing yours as you lean over the table. Heâs laughing, too, then, before he lets go of your hand. You want to crawl out of your skin, want to run and hide in the bathroom, because youâre definitely making a fool of yourself, but-
âOh, heâs busy,â you say, waving your hand in the air dismissively. âHeâs one of the groomsmen, got a lot on his plate. I donât wanna bug him. Heâs the one with the sunglasses on,â you say, pointing at him at the head table.
Daniel looks where you point and quirks his brow. âGuy like that has a girl like you and youâre the one worried about bugging him?â
You stare at him with wide eyes. He collapses into a fit of laughter again, and you follow suit. You donât know what else to do. Then he nudges your knee with his, under the table, and juts his chin towards the bar.
âDâyou want a drink?â He asks.
âThe bar isnât open yet,â you say.
âSo?â
âSo, how are you going to get a drink?â
He shakes his head and purses his lips. âOh, sweetheart, you just watch and learn. Whatâre you having?â
You shrug. âA soda, I guess. Iâm the designated driver for at least three of the groomsmen.â
Daniel sighs heavily. âYou poor thing. You keep making me feel worse and worse for you. Alright, Iâll get you something.â
He strides his way up to the bar, which has a very obvious âClosedâ sign on the countertop. Thereâs a single bartender behind it, and heâs cleaning glasses. You watch with entertainment as Daniel leans on the counter, exuding confidence and charm. The bartender shakes his head. Daniel counters. The man behind the bar shrugs and nods. Then he steps through a door for just a moment. When he returns, he has two drinks in his hands- one thatâs obviously a beer, and one thatâs bright pink. Daniel smiles, thanks the man, and walks the cups back to you.
He sets it down in front of you with a flourish before he takes a seat.
âI told you, Iâm DD,â you remind him.
He nods, taking a sip of his beer before he says, âShirley Temple.â
âOh my god,â you say, a grin washing over your face. You pick up the cup and take a sip, sighing at the sweet taste of ginger ale and grenadine. âHow did you know?â
âEveryone loves a good Shirley,â he says, elbowing you lightly. âAnd you canât drink just plain soda at a wedding.â
They announce dinner shortly after that, and the waiters start bringing plates out. Youâre starving, having been up early to help with last minute wedding things at your boyfriendâs request. You hadnât had time to eat lunch. You chat with Daniel through the meal. The two of you talk about the food, about the wedding, about the decor. There are other people at the table, but theyâre all incredibly boring in comparison. Daniel, on the other hand, could hold your attention forever, probably.
You sneak glances at your boyfriend, surrounded by his friends at the head table. Heâd promised to sneak away as soon as he got a chance. He hasnât even looked your way. You're trying to ignore the hurt deep in your chest. Daniel is sneaking glances at you sneaking glances at the bridal party. Youâre trying to ignore that, too.
âHow long have you two been dating?â Daniel asks.
âAbout 6 months,â you say with a smile.
It feels forced. Frankly, the last thing you want to talk about right now is your boyfriend. Theyâre clearing the last plates. Heâs at his table, three beers in by your count, not a care in the world. He promised. Daniel opens his mouth, likely to ask another question about your boyfriend, but you speak first.
âSo wait, are you here for the bride or the groom?â You ask.
âThe bride,â Daniel says , a soft smile on his face. âAn old family friend. Iâm representing the Ricciardos.â
You smile. âThatâs sweet.â
Before he can say anything in response, someone is tapping on a microphone. Itâs time for the speeches. You know your boyfriend isnât making one, which is good. Heâs not exactly the best public speaker, especially when heâs been drinking. You and Daniel settle in to listen.
He sneaks away between the maid of honor and the best man, patting the back of your hand and whispering about being right back. He returns a few moments later, another beer and a Shirley Temple in his hands. You smile gratefully at him, and he waves you off. Then the next speech is starting, and youâre rolling your eyes at the way the best man talks about marriage like itâs some awful idea.
âHe knows this is a wedding, yeah?â Daniel asks out of the side of his mouth, leaning towards you.
You shrug. âThat one started drinking at 9am. Iâm not sure he even knows what year it is right now.â
Daniel starts laughing, then. Luckily, the rest of the crowd does too- apparently, the best man has just made an extremely funny joke. Daniel is only looking at you, though, and you canât help but laugh just because of the look on his face.
When the first dances are over and the music starts, you sink low into your seat. Your boyfriend has still not made an appearance. He definitely knows where youâre sitting, he had told you so earlier. Youâre sure heâs busy, but youâd looked away for too long, talking to Daniel, and now heâs disappeared from the head table. You scan the crowd, hoping to see his face. All the while, you can feel Daniel watching you.
âWe could go dance,â he suggests.
You sink lower in your seat. âI donât really like dancing.â
Thatâs a lie. You love dancing, especially at weddings. You love the cheesy songs they always play, you love the atmosphere, you love watching the bride and groom have fun and getting to be a part of it. But you know how it would look if you went out on the dance floor with Daniel, and your boyfriend definitely wonât be joining you. As frustrated as you may be with your him, you donât want to cause drama at someone elseâs best day of their lives.
âI think I might try and find him,â you say, picking up your drink.
Daniel nods. âWant me to come with you?â
You look around at the rest of the table and find it empty. You shake your head and lean towards him, close enough that you almost knock your foreheads. Nobodyâs watching the two of you or trying to listen anyways, but itâs more fun this way.
âHe promised heâd find me before dinner,â you whisper conspiratorially. âThat obviously didnât happen. So Iâm not bringing you to him as a reward for bad behavior.â
Daniel sits back in his chair and smiles at you, one brow raised. âAtta girl!â
You stand up from your chair and hope he canât tell that your face has grown hot from that comment alone.
Even if you canât find your boyfriend, itâs probably best that you get some space from Daniel. Through the last hour or so of your conversation, youâve been catching yourself leaning towards him and then reminding yourself that you have a boyfriend. Itâs just that heâs being so nice, and that youâre feeling so down about the whole thing. Heâs comforting, which is fine. But it canât be more than that.
You find your boyfriend at one of the bars, leaning on the counter and talking loudly with one of the other groomsmen. Heâs drunk already- he should really slow down if he wants to last the night. You walk over to him, forcing a soft smile onto your face. You canât confront him now, not in front of his friend and all the people waiting for drinks.
âHey, babe,â you say, tapping his shoulder lightly as you walk up.
He turns. You wait for him to smile at you, but it never comes. Your stomach sinks.
âHey,â he says, nonchalantly. âDâyou need something?â
Your palms feel clammy. âOh, no, Iâm good! Just⌠wanted to say hi. Sâbeen a bit.â
He nods. âYeah. I told you Iâd be busy tonight.â
His friend just stands there and listens. Your skin feels hot, and your eyes begin to sting.
âI know,â you say. âIâm not trying to bug you, I just- I was just walking by. Just. Yeah. Thatâs all. Iâll leave you to it.â
âIâll come find you in a bit, baby,â he promises.
You donât bother believing him this time.
Daniel doesnât comment on your red eyes or the tear tracks on your cheeks when you return to the table. He just squeezes your arm and disappears for a moment, then comes back with yet another Shirley Temple. You donât know whether to laugh or to cry, so you just take a sip of the drink instead.
âYou donât have to sit here with me,â you say to Daniel. âIâm definitely pulling down the mood.â
âAre you joking?â He says. âYouâre the best thing at this party.â
You laugh, then, because the statement is so ridiculous that you canât help it. He sounds so serious, and when you turn to look at him thereâs no hint of teasing on his face. He just elbows your arm lightly again.
âCome on, we donât have to dance but weâre not sitting here all night,â he says. âLetâs go wander.â
He stands from the table and tugs at your chair. You give in and stand up too, taking your drink from the table. You follow him as he weaves through the throngs of people. You like wandering. Wandering is a perfectly sensible thing to do with the guy you just met. At the wedding your boyfriend is a groomsman at. What else are you supposed to do, anyways?
He leads you past the dance floor, which you try not to look at forlornly. There are large glass doors at the back of the hall. He swings one open, holding it for you, waving you through with a flourish of his hand. Outside, itâs lit up with string lights. Thereâs a wide rolling lawn of grass, with fire pits and chairs spread out everywhere. There are lawn games, too- beanbags and horseshoes and a giant version of Jenga.
You can burn a lot of time out here. You barely even notice when Daniel slips his hand around your wrist to gently pull you with him. You should feel guilty about it. Your boyfriend is somewhere inside. But that same boyfriend has also been ignoring you all night. Daniel is just being friendly. You follow him to one of the fire pits with a smile on your face.
You and Daniel are nearly two hours into wandering when someone calls your name. You look up from where youâve been staring at the beanbag board, trying to line up your throw just right. Youâd been on the verge of winning for the first time. For an Australian, Daniel is surprisingly good at American lawn games. Frustratingly good, even.
Itâs your boyfriend, calling you from the doorway of the reception hall. You sigh and drop the beanbag onto the ground near your feet. Two of the other groomsmen are hanging off of him, looking worse for the wear. One of them has something down the front of his shirt- you pray itâs not vomit.
âI think thatâs my cue,â you say, nodding towards the building.
âYou could always put them in a cab and hope they figure it out on their own.â Daniel says. You give him a skeptical look. âKidding, kidding.â
âItâs tempting,â you admit.
Daniel bends over and picks up your heels from where they lay in the grass. Youâd kicked them off as soon as you stepped into the soft grass outside. You slip the shoes back on and wince. Then you stick your hand out to him, palm open.
âWell, it was lovely to meet you,â you say, as he shakes your hand once more. âThanks for not leaving me all alone.â
Daniel laughs. âI will be your âI-know-nobody-at-this-event-â partner anytime you want, sweetheart. Just give me a call. Iâll be there.â
You know what heâs trying to do. The opportunity is right there in front of you. Heâs telling you to give him a call- this is where you ask for his number. But you have a boyfriend. You can justify hanging out with him, especially considering you had nothing else to do, but asking for his number feels a step too far.
You smile softly and drop his hand. âGoodnight, Daniel.â
You turn and make your way towards your boyfriend. Heâs already complaining before youâre even within ten feet of him, about how heâs tired and he looked everywhere for you and how could you disappear like that? You apologize, just to quiet him down. You usher the three men inside before you turn to look at Daniel one more time.
Heâs standing there, watching you, a sad smile on his face.
âWho was that guy?â Your boyfriend asks later, from the passenger seat of the car.
You look at him, at his eyes. The light is gone- heâs blacked out, thereâs no way heâll remember this tomorrow.
âDaniel Ricciardo,â you say.
Itâs a testament to how drunk he is that he doesnât even react.
You get all three guys into bed, including your boyfriend. You lay down next to him, as much as you donât want to. Thereâs not really anywhere else to sleep in the little hotel room, and youâre not sleeping on the floor. When you close your eyes, you canât fall asleep, plagued by thoughts of if youâd made the right choice, unable to erase Danielâs sad smile from your memory.
âŚ..
You love weddings. You remind yourself of that over and over again as you pin a dress in place for the hundredth time that day. Your best friend Natalie is a bridesmaid, itâs her sister whoâs getting married, and youâre here to help in any way you can. So far, thatâs included safety pinning, making a run for alcohol, checking on the floral delivery, checking to make sure the groomsmen are where theyâre supposed to be, and comforting a bridesmaid who was crying in the bathroom. Her boyfriend had broken up with her the night before.
âMen are shit,â youâd told her in commiseration.
By the time the ceremony rolls around, youâre relieved to have a chance to sit down. You check on the bridesmaids one last time and head into the church. The pews are packed with people, so you find a spot near the back and sit down. You sigh in relief.
The music starts playing, and you finally take a chance to look around. The pews are decorated with flowers, thereâs bright light streaming through the large windows. The groom waits up front, eyes already watering. You love weddings. You say it like a mantra in your head.
As the procession starts, you scan the crowd. You know more people at this wedding, having been friends with the family for a while. Youâll at least have some company at your table. You spot a couple friends from high school, a cousin youâve met a few times, some mutual friends who youâll definitely have to catch up with later. And then, in the third row on the groomâs side, you see dark curly hair that looks terrifyingly familiar.
It canât be him. That would be absolutely insane. Thereâs absolutely no way Daniel Ricciardo is attending a second wedding in the US, for a couple who are no more famous than the previous wedding youâd seen him at. It would make absolutely no sense. And yet, you canât stop staring at the back of this manâs head, the slope of his shoulders beneath his dark suit. You remember that wedding, months ago, resting your hand on his shoulder for balance as you took off your heels. Heâd joked about having to cut you off, holding your Shirley Temple in his hand.
When the bridal procession begins playing, everyone stands. You keep your eyes on him. He turns, and your heart skips a beat in your chest. Itâs Daniel. Itâs impossible, itâs irrational, but it is him. Youâd recognize him anywhere.
You force yourself to look away, to turn towards the bride. She looks beautiful, perfect, the picture of elegance. The flowers in her hands, the ones youâd checked on that morning, are perfect too. You breathe a sigh of relief. She really shouldâve hired a wedding coordinator. Maybe you should be a wedding coordinator.
When you go to sit back down, you sneak a glance at Daniel. Heâs looking over his shoulder at you, eyes wide. You meet his gaze and your cheeks feel hot. That wide, bright grin breaks out across his face. You grin right back.
When the ceremony is over, and theyâre officially Mr and Mrs, the whole wedding disperses out onto the lawn of the church. There are shuttles to take you to the reception, but everyone seems content to mingle outside in the fresh air. Youâre one of the first ones out, but youâre quickly swept up in the crowd. You search for Daniel in every face that passes. You find Natalie first, though.
âNat,â you say frantically. âDoes your sister know Daniel Ricciardo?â
Her brow furrowed for a second. âWhat?â
âDanny Ricciardo,â you repeat, keeping your voice low. âThe F1 driver. Heâs here.â
âOh,â Natalie says, brows raising. âYeah, heâs like, friends with her fiancĂŠ- oh, her husband! Shit, I forgot that you watch that stuff- or, you⌠did? I can probably try and introduce you-â
âNo, we- weâve met.â You admit. Sheâs the first person youâre telling about this. âAt that wedding like 6 months ago.â
She tilts her head at you. Her eyes go wide. She says your name in a bewildered tone.
âAre you telling me that the mystery wedding man, who you definitely shouldâve dumped your boyfriend for, was fucking Danny Ricciardo?â
âKeep it down!â You shush her.
âOh my god,â she says, a conspiratorial smirk crossing over her face. âAnd heâs here.â
Someone calls your name. You know that voice- itâs haunted you since you left that wedding. You turn over your shoulder as Natalie grabs your wrist and lets out a squeak.
âDanny,â you breathe, like a sigh of relief. âHi.â
He strides up to you, handsome as ever, grinning so widely it looks like it hurts. âThis is fucking insane.â
An elderly aunt glares at him. He makes an apologetic face before turning back to you and shrugging. He steps into your space, so close you can smell his cologne. Heâs staring down at you through his lashes. The look in his eyes is so soft and warm that you think youâre melting.
âThe bride is my best friendâs sister,â you explain, gesturing at Natalie. âThis is Natalie.â
âIâm friends with the groom,â he says, reaches his hand out and shakes Natalieâs hand. âIâm Danny, nice to meet you.â
She nods, and suddenly youâre very afraid. Natalie doesnât have much of a filter, especially in high pressure situations. Especially when sheâs been forced to be prim and proper all morning.
âYou must really like American weddings,â she says, and you wince. âI hear this is your second one in 6 months.â
Daniel smirks, raises his eyebrows at you. âHuh. Wonder what else youâve heard about me.â
She opens her mouth to say something, but you shove her shoulder. âNat, arenât you supposed to be taking family pictures?â
Sheâs so busy staring at Daniel she almost doesnât hear you. Then her eyes go wide. She swears loudly, earning a glare from the same aunt. Then she drops your wrist and takes off through the crowd.
You turn towards Daniel. âSorry about her.â
He shakes his head. âNo need. She seems sweet.â
You smile. âShe is.â
âMakes sense, since sheâs friends with you,â he says. âThe sweetest of them all.â
You laugh, shove at his shoulder lightly. âShut up.â
Behind him, people are starting to get on the shuttles. Heâs leaning towards you, eyes still lit up.
âI honestly canât believe this,â he says.
âNeither can I,â you admit. âItâs.. itâs really good to see you.â
âItâs good to see you,â he echoes. âFeels like a sign, doesnât it?â
You open your mouth to agree, to tell him what youâve been thinking the past 6 months, but Natalie is calling your name. You and Daniel both turn to look at her, and the look on her face tells you sheâs so sorry. You sigh and shrug.
âI have to go,â you tell him. âThat bridal party is a mess.â
âWorse than the last one?â He asks.
âNo,â you say. âAnd I donât have to drive any of them home, so thatâs a bonus. But I think Iâll be billing them for wedding coordinator expenses after this. Or at the very least, drinking enough at the open bar to make up for it.â
Daniel laughs. âAtta girl. Should I save you a seat on the shuttle?â
You let out a puff of air. âIâm riding over with the bridal party.â
His face falls in disappointment. âOkay. Find me when you get there, yeah? Iâll have a Shirley Temple waiting for you.â
You nod. âMake it a Dirty Shirley, would you?â
He nods eagerly and squeezes your arm.
You donât actually make it into the reception until nearly an hour later. Thereâs an emergency with a groomsmanâs tux, and the girl who was broken up with the night before is crying again. Nothing that canât be fixed with safety pins and tequila, but it still takes time. You check your name on the seating chart, sigh at the sight of the name next to yours, the seat that will stay empty. You find Danielâs seat, too, a few tables over from yours. You head there first.
Daniel is sitting, a beer in hand and a very watery Shirley Temple on the table in front of him. Heâs chatting with the man sitting next to him, who looks a bit starstruck. He perks up when he sees you, reaching for your drink. You take it happily and have a sip, tasting ginger ale, grenadine, and vodka, too.
âThe ice is a bit melted,â he says with a sigh. âBut good news! Ian here has offered to switch seats with you.â
Ian is looking between you and Daniel, eyes wide. Youâre sure he did offer, likely after Daniel had told him the whole crazy story, or at least enough to convince him. You watched him charm bartenders at the last wedding- he has a way with words. Ian starts to stand up.
âThatâs really not necessary.â You say, and Danielâs face falls. âThereâs an empty seat at my table.â
He lifts his brows, grinning again. His brown eyes stare deep into your own. He stands up without waiting another moment, handing you your drink and holding his own.
âIan, nice meeting you,â he says. âIâll still get you those paddock passes,â he promises, and you bite back a laugh. âSee ya âround, mate.â
He follows you to your table. Thereâs a setting with your name on a little card, and the empty setting next to it with another name on it. You grab that card and crumple it in your hand, shoving it into your purse. He quirks a brow but sits down anyways as you greet the others at your table- cousins of the bride and friends who youâve met a few times.
âSo. Howâve things been?â You ask, and he launches into a story that has you listening with every bone in your body.
Somehow, the two of you make it all the way through dinner and speeches and the first dance before the subject of your boyfriend even comes up. You wonder if heâs been waiting to broach it. Youâve been waiting for the right moment.
He nods towards the dance floor. âYou have to promise me youâll dance to at least one song tonight.â
You blink and shrug. âEasy. I love dancing.â
He stares at you. Thereâs the beginnings of another wide grin on his face.
âThat is not what you said last time.â
âI lied,â you admit. âBecause my boyfriend hated dancing.â
Daniel nods. âHated. Past tense?â
âHeâs not dead,â you deadpan, making him laugh. âBut heâs also not my boyfriend anymore.â
Danielâs foot nudges against yours under the table. âNo?â
âNo,â you say with a shrug.
Daniel nods. âPretty girl like you, you mustâve moved on pretty quick,â he says.
His tone is light, teasing. Heâs testing the waters. You shake your head and pretend you donât see the way his shoulders sag in relief.
âIâve sworn off dating,â you tell him. Your tone is teasing, too. âAfter he left me on my own at a wedding, I decided men are shit.â
Youâre taunting him now. The conversation has gone from feeling each other out, from digging for information, to circling each other like sharks in the water. Your heart is beating steady in your chest. His eyes are locked on yours.
âYou poor thing,â he says, eyes sparkling. âLet me prove you wrong?â
The tension crackles in the air. His knee nudges against yours and you swear youâre going to combust. You down the rest of your drink in one gulp, set the glass down, and reach for his suit jacket. You run your finger down the lapel, then back up, adjusting his collar.
âI swore off men,â you repeat, leaning forwards, keeping your voice low. âBut this feels like a sign, doesnât it? Like the universe sent me back to you.â
He nods. He reaches up, captures your wrist in his hand and holds it against his chest.
âSo maybe you should go get me another drink,â you suggest. âAnd Iâll meet you on the dance floor.â
You lean even closer, then, close enough to press your lips to his cheek. Then you stand up and walk away towards where people are beginning to gather, to where the music is loudest. You donât turn back to see if heâs watching. You already know he is.
âŚ..
You have a fleeting thought, later, that maybe you shouldâve switched to a drink with less sugar in it at some point in the night. The grenadine feels like itâs stuck to your tongue. Danny doesnât seem to mind the taste, though.
Heâs got you up against the wall in a back hallway of the reception venue. You back is pressed to the cool surface, your arms around his neck, his hands on your hips. His lips are on yours, and heâs kissing you deeply, like heâll never get enough. Youâre feeling the same.
His knee slots between your legs, and youâre a goner. His hand slips from your hip and cups your ass, hauling you closer with ease, tilting your hips away from the wall and into his. You break away for air, gasping for it, and he moves his lips to your neck. It feels heavenly, trapped between him and the wall, his hands all over you, his lips trailing lower and lower. He reaches up and brushes the thin strap of your dress off one of your shoulders. You shove your hands under his suit jacket and press them against his toned abdomen through his shirt. He lets out a groan, the noise vibrating against your neck. You throw your head back and laugh between gasps.
You wonder if heâd have his way with you right there. You wonder if youâd let him.
There are footsteps, then, clicking their way down the hall. You scramble to push him away as someone rounds the corner, but you know itâs painfully obvious. You turn your head, already feeling mortified, and come face to face with Natalie.
âOh, thank god,â both you and your best friend say at the same time.
Daniel pulls away and looks between the two of you. You canât look at him for more than a few seconds. His lips are red and puffy, his eyes half lidded. You distantly wonder if thereâs beard burn on your face, if your lips are just as red. Then you start to wonder how his scruff might feel on other parts of you.
âI didnât know where youâd gone,â Natalie says, laughing. âI heard noises, I thoughtâŚâ
âIâm fine,â you tell her, and she nods in agreement.
âIâll say,â she teases.
âNat!â You hiss.
âYouâd better take good care of her, Ricciardo,â he says, and your face grows hot all over again. âI donât care how famous you are, Iâll fuck you up anyways.â
âNat!â You hiss again.
âI will,â Danny promises, squeezing your hip and nodding. âIâm on a mission. Trying to prove not all men are shit.â
âGood luck,â Natalie says drily. But when she walks away, sheâs smiling.
He turns back to you, and this time he places both his hands on the wall on either side of your head. You look up at him, licking your lips. You still taste the Shirley Temple, and you can taste him, too, now. He groans softly and closes his eyes. Itâs nice to know youâre having an effect on him, too, nice to know youâre not the only one feeling worked up. You reach up and tug on the lapels of his jacket. You brush your lips against his jaw.
âWe should have one more drink,â you tell him, humming happily. âAnd then you should take me to your hotel.â
He swallows. You press a kiss to the center of his throat.
âIâve never heard a better plan in my whole life.â He says.
âŚ..
At every wedding you go to afterwards, you order the same drink. Well, really, Danny orders them for you. Youâve thought a couple times about asking for wine or seltzer or even beer. You think it might break his heart, though. Itâs a tradition now, and the pink sugary concoction will always taste like that very first night. Like bare feet in the grass, the thud of beanbags against wooden boards. Like Danielâs laugh in the middle of the best manâs speech. Like you, alone at a table, and Daniel collapsing into the seat next to you, his hand extended to shake yours.
The same hand thatâs wrapped up with yours now, resting on his knee. You never want to let go. Youâre pretty sure heâd be okay with that.
Taglist: @4-mula1 @celestialams
2K notes
¡
View notes