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#football scenarios
lewisvinga · 2 days
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hakuna matata | joão félix x fem! reader
summary; joão’s comes back late from a match to see his girlfriend watching a childhood favorite
warnings; mentions of crying n mufasa’s death
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3
word count; 365
note; requested !
masterlist !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
João deeply sighed as he unlocked the front door of his shared apartment with Y/n in Barcelona. He hated rainy days but one thing he hated more was training on a rainy day.
He knew his girlfriend would be home since she told him she would have a relaxing self-care day. He didn’t expect to walk through the door and hear her sniffles.
Immediately, he sets his bag down by the front door and rushes to the living room. Everything was running through his mind. What could have made his girlfriend upset?
João’s mind quickly calmed when he noticed a familiar movie on the TV screen. Of course, Y/n would watch her favorite movie on her self-care day. Of course, she would watch The Lion King at any chance.
She was watching the scene when Mufasa died and Simba ran away. She had always been an emotional person. Crying during any moment of surprise or joy, and crying whenever anyone else cries. She always cried to that scene in The Lion King and he knew it.
He couldn’t help but laugh as he walked over to her. He takes a spot beside her on the couch. “You’ve seen this scene like 50 times, meu amor.” He said in a teasing tone as she turned to look at him.
“Doesn’t change the fact it’s sad!” She pouted, resting her head on his shoulder. His hand immediately went to her hair, gently running his fingers through her locks. “I can’t help but cry.” She chuckled.
“I know, I know.” He said with a smile, giving her a shoulder a gentle rub. “But hakuna matata right?”
Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at João’s words and his cheeky smile. Despite seconds ago being upset over the movie, his presence made her feel better. She sat up and turned to look at him, lightly slapping his shoulder. “Hakuna matata, exactly!”
“By the way, you stink. Go shower, babe.” She added with a scrunched-up nose and gave his shoulder another slap. “How was practice, anyways? I know you hate rainy days.”
He stood up with a smile. He pecks her cheek before saying, “Like what Pumba and Timon said, hakuna matata!”
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wiinttrr · 1 year
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▫️she said it’s her first time..i think she might’ve lied
A/N:ngl i just got high yesterday and wrote this
⁀➷ warnings: very smutty but no actual intercourse
⁀➷ if you a minor theres no reason why you should be reading this <3
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫
It’s exactly 8:40PM when you’re resting your head on pedri’s chest,his hand playing with your hair daintily,your attention drifting from the movie he had invited you over to watch as you fix your vision on the view displayed from the floor-to-ceiling windows of his penthouse.
Your eyes get drowsy and you start to zone out,you were bored out of anticipation,impatiently waiting for him to initiate what has been simmering in your mind for days,dirty filthy and sinful imaginations of pedri manhandling you into various positions while pounding into you was all you could ponder over,you were suffering a brainrot.
You soon exit your imagination immediately as you feel his arm envelope your smaller frame,stirring you gingerly while lowering his head to meet you at face level,"you okay there?"he says in a humorous tone while raising an eyebrow,you grin faintly as a retort to his words although in your innermost thoughts it was at his complete cluelessness to your wildly lewd infiltrated mind.
This is how you were summed up by people throughout your life,they always saw you as wholesome and untainted by immorality, especially that of a sexual nature..it confused you quite a bit and had you thinking for a span attempting to apprehend what about you gave them that impression because it surely wasn’t a facade you were upholding or a make-believe,and even though their view was far off the mark it didn’t trouble you at all,not even a little bit in fact you loved it,and soon started utilising it to your own benefit.
The innocent aura granted you quotidian advantages,and the greatest one by a mile is the sneakiness,people rarely doubted you even when you were lying straight to their faces,the pure spirit made you trustworthy and had people lowering their guards around you.
Additionally,the sole thought of having a guy entirely fooled and unaware of your true essence turned you on immensely,deceiving them into thinking that you’re just so chaste and untouched when you weren’t had you feeling so sly and it aroused you to the fullest.
Ultimately and to your desire,what you were yearning full finally started to come into being,the cuddling soon escalated into a make-out sesh,his arms are locked behind your back,pulling your chests flush together,minimizing any space between,giving you the contact that you were craving oh so bad..he slips his tongue into your mouth,tilting his head to deepen the kiss even further,your own greeted his pleasantly,tangling and pushing against it in content.
Placing his pointer finger under your chin, pedri slowly pulls back,though not releasing his hold on you,hazy eyes gazing intently into each other,"so pretty.."he murmurs against your lips,a slight smirk adorning his face before hoisting you up on his lap,situating the both of you into an even more intimate position,just to trail one hand up by your side till it cupped the back of your neck,pulling your lips together once more.
This time,his kisses were slow and rhythmic..they were brief,sweet short kisses,ones that made you part after each one,ones that made you so eager for the next,they felt so satisfying and fulfilling yet had you on pins and needles yearning for more.
The atmosphere was getting promptly more sexual,pedri was placing mellow pecks just beneath your jaw,his hand moving to grab the back of your thigh,urging it upwards,while the other massaged and kneaded at your ass,your clothed core occasionally brushing against his hard on.
“tell me baby..what was the farthest you ever went”,he abruptly stoped his movements to ask you,winding down..he too thinks you’ve never fucked before,you love it.
“what we did right now”you reply shortly after,with a coy laced voice,batting your pretty lashes at him so sweetly evoking a low hum from him,pedri looked at you trough lidded lust infatuated eyes,everything about you had him so pent up.
“so nothing..not even fingered?“another question followed up,he sounded so alluring,his eyes fixated on you while one of his hands caressed your thigh delicately,”only with my own..”
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swayziiwriter · 9 months
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Tension | Jude Bellingham
summary: clubbing with friends turns into a sex session with your longtime crush Jude when the sexual tension bubbles over on the dance floor.
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WARNING: 18+, sexual content
Jude's eyes burned holes into your back as you continued to search for your house key lost somewhere in your purse.
You didn't know exactly how you got yourself in this situation, it was all so innocent. Jude's small comments towards your look of the night. Your feelings for him evident to everyone but him, the tension he created in your stomach with every accidental touch of your hand. He was driving you close to insanity, what you didn't know was that you were doing the exact same.
It only took a few more rounds of drinks until your confidence was suddenly boosted. Taking Jude onto the dance floor after much convincing was only the beginning.
The songs that played all around the club had you pressed against him, eager to feel the touch of a man who wasn't even yours.
The air felt thick with sexual tension, as Jude's hands slid up your body placed securely around your waist as your hips moved against his. Grinding into him as your head laid back against his chest, the last thing you can remember clearly was the faint kiss Jude left on your neck.
That pushed you over the edge, sending you and Jude both running from the group of your friends back to your apartment.
You finally unlocked the door, taking about 3 steps inside before you were harshly pushed up against the door as Jude slammed it shut.
You let a breath you didn't know you were holding as Jude inched closer to your face, lips inches apart before you closed the gap between your mouths. The kiss was heated and needy, months deprived of each other as you were both in denial about your feelings for one another.
"Bedroom" you managed to breathe out in between your sloppy kisses to Jude's neck. He simply nodded in return, taking his hand into yours as you guided him into your bedroom.
Jude walked into the room first making sure to rid himself of his shirt as soon as he entered. He let you walk to the end of your bed before he walked in front of you.
Towering over your figure as he looked into your eyes, his eyes dark with lust as you raised your cold hands up and down his toned chest.
Tracing his V line before he stopped the movement of your hands to make you look up at him.
"I think it's time to get you out of these clothes" Jude said lowly, bring his hands to the back of your tight black dress, tracing his hands across the zipper. You nodded leaving a long kiss against his soft lips.
His hands reached behind your back, unzipping your dress as you helped him guide it off your body. It felt as if your body had erupted into flames as he let his hands roam all over your now exposed back as you stepped out of your dress. Exposed almost fully to him as your panties and bra remained. Letting Jude's mind run wild at the thought of being able to touch you where you wanted him most.
"My turn" you spoke out reaching your hands to his belt, toying with the leather before pulling it apart helping Jude step out his pants.
Jude wasted no time, connecting his lips to yours once again in a fiery kiss. He walked you back into your bed as you fell slowly against it, laid down on the silky white sheets as Jude stood tall above you. Jude quickly followed your actions, climbing into the bed hovering over your body.
Your body shuddered as Jude moved his hands across your breasts, taking them in as you leaned forward taking in his lips, missing the feeling already. "I want to take you now" Jude said pulling away from your heated kiss, you raised your hand behind his neck attaching your lips to his neck, biting softly at the flesh. Marking him as yours.
"Take me Jude, all of me" you breathed out needing to feel him closer, as if what you had wasn't enough.
Jude reached his hands behind your back, unclasping the strap of your bra. You sighed as Jude's hands ghosted against your breasts as he slid your bra off your body, tossing it somewhere in the room. Jude leaned down towards your core, bringing his face to your panties leaving you breathless.
Your breathing continued to increase as Jude left kisses over your clothed core. "Stop teasing please" you begged out, Jude let out a light laugh at your eagerness.
Jude brought his teeth up to the top of your panties, ripping them down with his teeth in a swift motion.
Leaving kisses down your thighs as he continued to rid you of your panties as you brought your hands to his hair, pulling at his locks lightly.
Jude reached down to his boxers, pulling them down in a quick motion his hard cock finally being released from the tight tent in his underwear. You didn't miss the wet patch on his underwear as he did the same with it as your bra.
His cock sprung up tall against his abdomen, your mouth opened slightly at the sight of his excitement. Your thoughts
wandering to how it would feel to be wrapped around his large erection.
You reached your hand down to his cock, spreading the pre cum around his tip. Prompting small moans escape Jude's mouth, as he mumbled a light string of curse words. You reached your hand across your bed to your night stand, pulling open the drawer to get a condom.
You opened the wrapper with your teeth letting Jude watch your every move as you did, blood rushing to his cock that was now itching to be inside of you. Jude then took the condom into his hands rolling it onto his dick as he lined up with your aching core.
Jude ran his cock up and down your entrance teasing you beyond belief as your insides burned with anticipation. "Jude please" you whined out, "please what y/n" he mocked clearly enjoying how needy you were becoming. "Say it" he continued, "please fuck me Jude" you replied back leaning your head into the soft pillows behind you.
"Good girl" Jude said before harshly thrusting into your right core, leaving no time for you to adjust as he started to build up his pace right away. Leaving you a moaning mess under him.
You dug your nails into his shoulders, leaving crescent shaped marks across his body. Pleasure caroused through your body as Jude continued to thrust into you, the sound of skin slapping and your loud moans filled the space of your apartment. Your hands then made their way to his toned chest, tracing his abs as he fucked you harder into the sheets.
Jude then grabbed your leg putting it up slightly to give a new angle for him to hit at. The new angle allowed Jude to touch places inside of you, you hadn't known were there. You were moaning louder under him, swart dripping off both your bodies as Jude increased his pace never missing a beat.
"oh yes Jude, Jude please don't stop" you practically shouted out, as Jude let out moans of his own louder then he expected them to be.
Both of your bodies were engulfed in a heated passion, the feeling of your bodies connected closer then ever was astonishing.
Jude brought his body down towards yours, leaning down to bring his face to your breasts, burying his face into them. Sucking and biting into them as you inched closer to a release.
"Jude i'm close" you moaned out as Jude kept working on your chest, his tongue working swiftly against your body. "Not yet, i'm almost there" he responded, "don't cum until I say so" he looked up at you. Your face was unconvincing to his request, in response Jude brought a hand up to your neck lightly chocking it, bringing you even closer to your climax.
"Almost" he grunted out, removing his hand from your neck, down to your clit as he circled his fingers around it.
"Now, cum now" he moaned out spilling his hot cum into the condom still inside of you. You released at his command, his hand motions bringing you over the edge. Cumming hard and slow all over Jude's lengthy cock.
"So good" Jude moaned out as he slid out of your tight pussy. "All for you" you replied bringing your face up to his, connecting your lips to his as round 2 of your sex session was soon to follow.
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mywrittengartgallery · 11 months
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PEDRI -Elle a brisé son coeur sur moi
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Words : 18,5k+
Warning : heavy angst, mention of depressed states, drug/alcohol use, mention of addictions
Summary : Pedro is losing himself, accepting the bone crushing feeling you would inflect on him because you had broken your heart, and he was on the receiving end of it. 
☁️ 
“Fuck, Pedri!” shouted Pablo as he threw his hands in the air, an annoyed expression stuck on his face. It wasn’t his first complaint of the day towards the midfielder and he was beginning to get fed up with the older’s lack of involvement in today’s training. Pedro nodded and went back to his former spot, tugging at his yellow bib as if the fabric was uncomfortable. He had lost the ball, offered an easy point to the other team, but he hadn’t seemed fazed by it one bit, which was unusual. Even if Pedro wasn’t the most demonstrative person and was actually from a calm nature, he would still let his frustration sip out with a grimace or a groan. None of it had happened today, not even the rise of a brow. And this indifference, that the islander was showing, just added to Pablo’s irritation, while the older was calm, the Sevillian was everything but that. He lived football through passion, even during practices, and someone not giving their whole was unbelievable to him. Especially if this person was Pedro. It was unusual and he probably should have questioned it, but he was young and he favored his bold angriness over some psychological reflection.
Robert passed the ball to Gavi, starting the game again. Pablo dribbled past Jules and he was finally near the goal, eyeing Marc-André with a quirk in his brow. Alejandro was coming onto him, he knew a tackle was also coming. He couldn’t keep the ball so he looked around, as fast as he could and caught a glimpse of Pedri who had miraculously gotten the memo. He passed him the ball, avoiding Balde’s tackled in a same movement. he sighed, happy with his strategy. However, it quickly faded when Jules tackled Pedro and stole the ball, now sending it to one of his team’s players. Pablo didn’t really care at this point, he was seeing red. It would be the third goal conceded to the other team thanks to Pedri. He huffed, and stomped towards the older who was still lying on the ground, grass staining his kit.
“What the fuck?” he attacked, looking down without an ounce of pity in his eyes. He hated losing, even though he knew it was only some practice and it wouldn’t mean anything at the end of the day, he hated the feeling of not being enough. And his team was an extension of himself, therefore he hated his team losing. He normally wouldn’t actually be this pressed but Pedri had gotten way too much on his nerves since this morning, and the cold weather wasn’t helping at all.
“Try to focus, you are playing like a fucking toddler!” he added, crossing his arms on his chest. Pedri had finally gotten up, his fists hidden under his sleeves.
“Stop screaming, you psycho...” he said, low tone and empty eyes looking right at Pablo. Pedro was ready to leave him right here and finally do something productive, or at least more productive than being screamed at by a boy two years younger than him. But the strong grip on his wrist prevented him from doing so.
“I’m the psycho?” Gavi asked, offended. “You are the one who’s not taking it seriously while it’s your damn job, Pedro! You are the one who put zero effort in this fucking training and acts like it’s fucking normal while it should be your fucking passion!” he was really working himself up on this, but Pedri’s behavior had been too much and Pablo couldn’t recognize him. “You are the fucking psycho!”
Pedro huffed and also crossed his arms over his chest, creating a barrier between himself and the younger. His brows had furrowed a long time ago and the blush he would normally sport thanks to the effort he would put in football was replaced by an angry red that was the telltale of the fuming rage he was feeling.
“You don’t even know what psycho means, Pablo! I did nothing that would make me a psycho, you on the other hand... You have been screaming hysterically for hours now, acting like a damn child throwing a tantrum. For what? For just some football! There are other things in life than football, maybe you should get your head out of your ass and take in your surroundings. And maybe buy a fucking dictionary?” alright he had mixed things up in his rant but god, he hated being on the receiving hand of harsh criticism. Pablo had been poking at him since they had arrived at training, telling him he did this or that wrong, that he wasn’t pushing himself like he should and it had just piled up. Pedro was suffocating under all of that. Of course, he knew he had been doing everything wrong from the moment he woke up to this moment right now, he knew he was somehow lethargic and it seemed like he couldn’t care less. But hearing it from the younger, he didn’t know why, he couldn’t take it. And if Pablo wanted to be childish, then Pedro would be.
“If you have to buy a dictionary for you to be relevant, then it means your football is not enough for the team. You are not doing enough!” the younger’s anger wasn’t dissolving anytime soon, everyone could see it. That’s probably why Robert tried to pull Pablo away, asking him to calm down with a firm voice. Pablo didn’t seem to care, too agitated to actually understand what the Pole was telling him. He wasn’t used to be this angry, especially against Pedri. The other had always made sure to deflate the situation, to keep Pablo calm even when they were fighting. Pedro hadn’t today. He had pushed Gavi further, and Pablo wasn’t sure where he was standing now, how to regulate his emotions.
‘You are not doing enough’ that’s the words Pedro had whispered back, feeling his world crumble because how could it not? His best friend had thrown the words that were the main insecurity in Pedri’s mind: not being enough, not doing enough, not meeting people’s expectations. His breath was caught in his throat and every voice around him were muffled by his own train of thoughts. He was not enough, he was doing everything wrong and hearing it only confirmed what he had been thinking for a few days now.
Pedro wasn’t reacting anymore, he hadn’t responded to Gavi, neither had he flinched when Sergio had put his hand on his shoulder. On the outside, he looked as stoic as one could, eyes completely void of emotions, everything perfectly concealed inside him. His fists had even loosened just like his frown. Maybe they should be worried at how well the Canarian was able to hold everything together, but no one noticed, no one cared about that. The fight was the only thought around the pitch.
“Pablo, watch your mouth! And please, learn how to manage your anger, we cannot have problems like that again!” said Xavi, who had finally taken things in hands. His gaze was strong as he looked deeply angry at Gavi. It looked like he wanted to add something, but thought better of it and kept his mouth shut. The coach nodded at Robert so the Pole could take Pablo somewhere else, probably at another practice spot. As he let out a sigh, the legendary midfielder turned around while pinching the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath and looked at Pedro.
“He is right about one thing... You haven’t been great today. I usually expect more of you, Pedro. I will let it slide because a bad day can happen, but tomorrow you are at your top form.” Disappointment was sipping out of Xavi, rolling down his figure to come crashing against Pedri like hard waves, hitting him right where it hurt. He hadn’t found his words back, everything stuck in his pharynx. The only thing he was able to do was looking down, hands clasped behind his back as he took in every word, repeating them in his mind like a sermon he would have heard at church.
And that’s how Pedro went through the rest of training: on shaky legs and short breath. He wouldn’t talk to anyone, scared that his voice would break, and he would only look at his shoes because he knew that if he met anyone’s eyes, especially the caring ones, salty water would escape from them. So, he had closed himself off, shutting the world out and focused on football, counting the minutes until this hell would end.
---
Then he was home. His home dipped in silence. No lights could be seen, just the streetlights trespassing inside to create shadows on the floor. He felt cold like that, not recognizing his own place, so he quickly switched the lights on. He noticed that no shoes other than his littered the entry, no coat thrown on the couch, no food or drinks discarded on the kitchen island. That could mean two things and he wasn’t sure which one he favored. With these thoughts running a hundred miles an hour in his mind, he went up, making sure his stairs wouldn’t crack and waited in front of a closed door, in silence. Always. He had to calm himself down because he was working himself up and nothing good could come out of it. He took a shuddery breath and finally found the courage to open the seemingly heavier door than the day before.
What he saw was exactly what he had imagined. How could he still be disappointed when every time it was the same thing?
He sighed and slowly came closer, delicately placing one of your stray strands behind your ear to have a look at your face. Your mascara had been smudged, staining your normally rosy cheeks with its dark umbra. The deep frown you were sporting had seemed like a permanent thing for a while now and, even in your alcohol induced sleep, it wouldn’t leave. His insides churned at the thought, because nothing seemed to erase it, not even all his efforts. It wasn’t enough.
After another shaky breath, the midfielder tore his gaze away from your sight, the sight that would bring an unwanted feeling of anxiety, squeezing his stomach until bile could be felt at the back of his throat. He, instead, focused on your shoes that were still tightly tied on your feet, and with practiced fingers, he undid the knots and took the pair of sneakers off, quietly deposing them next to him. Then, he tried to shake you awake, eyes fixed on your shoulder, he wanted you to catch a sliver of consciousness so he could take off your coat and put you under the thick covers of his bed. But you wouldn't budge, it must have been an especially hard night, he thought. So, he did it all without your help, moving you around like a rag doll, blinking tears away when he would see your head loll a little. When he was done, he left for the bathroom to bring a blue basin that had whitened because of the bleach it would often meet. The corrosive substance used to disinfect the plastic material but mostly to get rid of the putrid smell that would float around. He had set the blue recipient on the floor, on your side of the bed and made sure that you were lying on your side, facing it. That’s how he left you, making sure to not fully close the door so he could hear if anything was going on, and stepped in the living room.
Everything seemed so cold and even with the TV on, Pedro felt as if a thick darkness was surrounding him. The sound was off, figures moving around the screen in total silence as lights changed from cold to warm to electric then back to cold. It reflected on the youngster’s face, highlighting the deep hollows under his dark eyes. It took just enough of Pedro’s attention to soften the edge that was poking at him. Just enough for him to not be entirely consumed by his intrusive thoughts that seemed to linger longer and longer every time. A kiss was shown under an orange sunset, them on the rooftop of some city: the girl had the most loving smile he had seen in a while and the man looked shy, blush high on his cheeks. He wanted to hate this scene, to resent it even, but he couldn’t even muster that.
Then he heard it, the wrenching sounds coming out of your throat followed by gags. He wasn’t even sure of how long it had lasted, time notion slipping right through his fingers, him unable to grasp at it. He just knew that when your session had been done, long seconds of silence had plagued the room before your sobs had resonated. It hadn’t been near as loud as the noises you had let out before, but it was harder for Pedri to hear. He unconsciously bit his lower lip as he stood up, turning off the TV and going up the stairs. He wasn’t even aware of his movements, too used to this charade. He could have predicted your curled up figure on the bed, your head tucked against the crook of your arm and tear tracks crackling on the skin of your cheeks. A bit of drool mixed with the acidic vomit caked the corner of your mouth because you hadn’t cared enough to wipe it. You hadn’t even registered his presence, even though he had slid under the covers, spooning you as he whispered words of affection. He had only one goal, it was soothing you. He would try until he would fall asleep of exhaustion.
---
The door on the passenger’s side slammed, making the small Mini Cooper tremble with the force of it. Pedro only rolled his eyes at his friend’s antics and sighed, before starting the car while Gavi fiddled with his seatbelt. It was raining hard, offering an easy way out for the two Barca’s midfielders as practically no fans were waiting for them. And even though he felt awful to think that, Pedro was glad to be left alone today, no touching, no screeching and no cameras in his face, catching his deep dark circles.
“So Fifa, is it?” asked the Sevillian. His tone was light, clashing with the mess of feelings spreading through Pedro’s chest. He was also glad for that, for Gavi. He wasn’t even aware of how much his cheerfulness meant to the older, how much he needed it to stay grounded. But Pedro wouldn’t tell him, not when it meant telling more to him. It was not his place, he thought. So, as he had been doing a lot recently, he kept his mouth shut and nodded, flashing a small smile in his direction. Gavi accepted it and toyed with Pedro’s playlist, trying to find anything that would suit his taste.
That’s how they found themselves on the road, stopping at red lights and starting again when the lights turned green, under the heavy droplets of water that fell with an incredible speed. Pedri wanted nothing more than to get to his house and make himself comfortable on his couch, Gavi next to him, screaming about his loss. A faint grin appeared on his lips when he thought about the moment, it felt so familiar, he was used to it and he couldn’t wait to live it once more. To beat the shit out of Pablo on the screen and annoy him while the other would whine and pout like a child. The lightheartedness of the situation made him dizzy, because he felt like it had been decades since he had spent a night with his friends, doing things without caring of tomorrow. His insides were trembling with impatience.
“I practiced, so don’t be too surprised if you lose Pedri!” Pablo was bathing in cheekiness, throwing it at the older without a care. But deep inside, he knew he would lose, because it really wasn’t Gavi’s thing, however, he felt the need to put a show on. Whatever work he would put in, the results would remain the same. It was all it took for Pedro’s former grin to widen and squint his eyes.
“Stay humble, it will soften the blow when I’m going to destroy you...” he retorted, avoiding a quick jab from the younger. He stifled a laugh because of how easy it was to rile up the other.
However, his smile faded as fast as the rain washed chalk drawings off on concrete, when an incoming call appeared on his Bluetooth station. The name, all too familiar, glaring at him, daring him to pick up. He really didn’t have another choice, so with a wide intake of air, he pressed the green emoticon and answered the phone, getting ready for whatever was to come, whatever Pablo would hear.
“Pedro?” Isabela’s voice was unsure, like saying his name was already the hardest thing to do. He knew she knew. He knew that she was aware of how much she had been asking of him lately, he knew that she knew she was putting another stone on the already shaky pile.
“Yeah?” he responded, with fake assurance. It was just an image to maintain for the moment.
“Could you come? It’s like last time...” and the strength in her words diminished after every words. He understood with ease what she was talking about. Without any further information, he turned left on the next intersection, avoiding the confused gaze of Pablo on him.
“She would probably feel better with you...” and he hated those words, the ones she felt obligated to add. Because he knew there was a deep truth to them, but he also knew that wasn’t all. He knew that it would be easier on everyone to come and get you. Easier on everyone but him. He gulped, nodding slightly but she couldn’t see him, and he wasn’t trusting his voice to not break so he kept his mouth tightly shut and hung up, not adding anything to what had already been said.
In the eyes of Pablo, the older had shut off, harboring a cold demeanor that hadn’t been there minutes ago. His eyes had become darker, steelier, as if he had built a wall around himself, so high he wasn’t sure how someone could see past it. And it worried the Sevillian. Pedri wasn’t the type to be this closed off, especially with him, even when they fought. There would be screams, harsh words and sarcasm to top it all, but silent treatment wasn’t one of their things. And when one of them was upset with something, they would talk it out. Pablo wasn’t sure how he should act with this Pedro, this Pedro that he didn’t know and had never met.
“What’s going on?” he dared to ask when he had not recognized the road they were taking. His voice had been soft, trying to not set off the older.
“Y/N doesn’t feel well, so I’m picking her up.” and that’s all the Canarian said. Not elaborating on the true reason he had to pick you up. Many questions were bursting into Gavi’s brain, but he couldn’t ask. He knew it wasn’t the moment, and he wouldn’t get answers anyway. In the end, he would see by himself what was going on when they would arrive.
That��s how a tense silence filled the car, putting Pablo on edge and making Pedro slightly panic. The sky was becoming darker, minutes passing, buildings changing colors under the downpour, people rushing to keep themselves dry, streetlights turning on. Then the car had stopped. In total silence, Pedro had unfastened his belt and put his hood up, opening the door. Pablo wasn’t sure what he should do, not even knowing where Pedro had brought him. He wasn’t familiar with his actual surrounding, no buildings looked like ones he had seen before and it was nowhere near where you lived. So, he had stayed inside, watching as Pedro took quick steps towards the entrance, getting drenched. Something wasn’t adding up.
And things felt even weirder when he saw Pedro exiting the building with you under his arm, trying to hold you up in a straight position. You were laughing under the rain, tripping over your own feet while making him lose his trajectory. The window was blurred with water, so Pablo couldn’t quite grasp Pedro’s expression, but the older didn’t seem as enthusiast as you. When the both of you got close enough, Pedro reached out to open the backseats door, while you leant against the green car. If the Canarian hadn’t had the fastest reflexes, you would have fallen in a dirty puddle: water mixed with fuel and dead leaves. He had slid his arm around your waist, bringing you against his side. You giggled, throwing your head back as if this had been the funniest thing you had lived. And that placed a smile on Pablo’s lips, your happiness contagious. Pedro had settled you in the back seat, fastening your belt and throwing your bag next to you. No words had been uttered.
You would spurt nonsenses at the back, gaining laughs from the youngest midfielder. The drunk-you was the funniest thing he had been blessed to see, thought Pablo as you explained another dumb thing that your mind had created. However, entranced by your idiocy, he hadn’t seen the way your boyfriend hadn’t reacted to anything that had left your mouth, not even a rise of a brow.
A light suddenly turned red, forcing Pedro to brake forcefully. Everyone in the car was slightly projected towards the front. This had you wheezing, and Pablo following. His nerves were getting eaten bits by bits by the sharp sounds and the puffs of air.
“That was rough babe!” you had exclaimed in a funny tone. You stretched your arms towards the back of his seat, sneaking your hands around until they met his tense shoulders. Your head had followed, making your voice loud and clear to him and Pablo.
“If you could get that rough in bed I wouldn’t say no, the opposite actually!” and if your words were slurred, they still cut right through him, like a blade meeting skin. Bile rose up his throat and if it wasn’t for Pablo’s laugh, he was sure you would have heard his sharp intake of air. “I mean, can you believe it, Pablo? He thinks he is going to hurt me, if anything I just ask for more spices! Like, vanilla is fucking boring...” and his knuckles turned white, gripping the wheel like his last lifeline resort. But no words would come out. Sometimes, Pedro thought he had used up all of the words in the world to say what he felt, there was nothing else out there he could mean. And anger was all that stayed, raging under his skin when he had nothing to express it. It was fueled by every sentence that left your mouth, every giggle and snicker, the outright mocking laugh of Pablo that was there to tease Pedro and his said vanilla habits in bed. And if he knew, if he knew that he was far from the vanilla portray you had depicted. He could be rough, shove you around when you asked, shock you with brutal waves and deprive you from a sense or two when he knew you needed it. It had been spicy, he could explore new things. But he couldn't hurt you, that was a limit he wouldn’t ever be able to cross. You asked for a lot, always more, you wanted to bruise in a nasty way, to bleed and soak the sheets red. You wanted tear tracks and gasps to find the air back. You wanted a monster that wasn’t Pedro, he wouldn’t give you that. So, he would deny it every time, shaking his head and leaving the room if you were too upset to do anything else with him. There were limits he wouldn’t cross, but you would always push for him to do so.
And if Pablo had known all of that, maybe he wouldn’t laugh but he would cry next to Pedro. Maybe he wouldn’t be trying to stabilize his breathing right now while Pedro was patiently trying to keep his calm, biting the inside of his cheek. Only a frown was visible on his impeccably neutral face, the deaf role played perfectly. That’s only when Pablo had caught on that, that his laugh vanished and a confused expression painted his features. Why was he annoyed?
You continued to throw harsh words hidden behind jokes and light tones, giggling and requesting the follow of Pablo. But the younger was now hesitant, politely grinning at you but softening when his eyes would dart to the Canarian. He was more than worried now.
When he parked the car, Pablo asked if Pedro wanted his help to get you up the stairs, until you reached his apartment. He had refused, with only a shake of his head, before gently grabbing your arm and firmly holding your waist, giving everything to make you walk straight, even if it had costed him to bump his arm or hip on walls. Pablo didn’t understand why his friend was so obstinate to do this on his own. It only added to this weird uneasiness blooming inside him. But he hadn’t dared commenting on it, sensing the abrupt refusal he would face. Now he just looked at Pedro, hosting you up the stairs of his apartment once you had finally gotten inside. You would use your hand to hold yourself up against the wall, letting your nails graze the white surface. No movements of Pedro were harsh or rough, only gentleness filled his motion. But his face was still closed off, none of his features had softened since the call. Pablo feared that the deep frown creeping in the middle of the width between his brows would stay permanently like this. He didn’t like the idea, because it would make his joyful expressions less sparkling, they would be faded. He hated it, actually. But he hadn’t said anything as he had watched, standing in the middle of his living room.
He tried to analyze the room, wanting to know if something had changed. something had definitely changed in his best friend’s demeanor. He just couldn’t quite grasp it and it was starting to freak him out. Maybe answers would be there? His apartment was still spotless, nothing out of place. The same pictures were hung on the wall, with his family, with his brother, with his friends, with his teammates, with you. You... He tripped on the thought. Maybe your relationship wasn’t as thriving as he thought? He knew it was healthy to fight for two lovers, it helped to express hidden feelings and to actually improve the relationship. But were you fighting too much? Or Pedro just hadn’t liked you getting drunk at your friend’s place. You were old enough to make your decisions and to enjoy a night with your friends. But the older was a fan of control. He hated losing it and not be able to understand his surrounding or be out of his depth, it would make him anxious the next morning when he would remember things he wouldn’t have normally done sober. He wouldn’t say anything to his friends when they would let go, had never lectured Pablo for getting shit faced at a party. Yet again, you weren’t Pablo. The youngest was sure you were the love of Pedro’s life, you were one of his source of happiness and maybe he just wasn’t used to see you like that. He could understand where his best friend was coming from: it’s hard to let your lover make potentially dangerous decisions, especially if it meant not recognizing them.
However, his thoughts were soon interrupted when he heard a door being softly closed and feet hitting the floor. Pedro was going down the stairs, avoiding any eye contacts with Pablo. He was holding a plaid and his pillow, his lips still sealed. He had gotten used to silence at this point, again, not daring asking questions. The older of the two threw the poor bedding on his couch, not caring arranging it nicely and then, finally, looked up to meet Pablo’s eyes. He had never seen these brown orbs this void of emotions, or drained. Maybe this word was more appropriate, Pablo thought, as he saw nothing inside. There had been something there before, it had been taken away.
“It’s a little bit complicated tonight, I’m sorry... Is it okay if I bring you back at your place?”
Pablo could only nod, he wouldn’t impose his presence to him. He wouldn’t put something else on Pedro’s already heavy shoulders.
“Are you going to sleep there?” and that’s the only thing he dared asking, the only thing that scratched enough the surface to give an idea of the depth of it all to Pablo.
“Yes.” and that was it. The only word that had left the midfielder’s mouth, in a hushed tone, before he grabbed back his keys and went to the door. Wanting to get as fast as he could to his car. Pablo followed, a feeling of urgency overwhelming his senses. Why all of it felt so abnormal. Why did it feel like he was discovering something that had been rotting away for some time already?
He had scratched the surface, now he wanted to dig. In a swift motion, he grabbed the other’s forearm and tugged on it, making hum turn around, just enough for their eyes to meet again.
“If you need anything, I’m here Pedro.”
---
“You okay alone ?”
Pedro had asked that with a concerned tone, worry sipping out of him. Pablo couldn’t hear what you had answered, but your words had slightly calmed his friend down. A sigh had escaped his chapped lips and his hand that had been gripping a handful of the blanket fabric had loosened.
Gavi frowned at those words, looking up at Pedro who was face timing you. He had his hood up while lying under the sheets of his bed. Xavi had made them room together for this clàsico, maybe the coach had sensed the weird thing going on with Pedro. Maybe he had thought that Gavi would be the solution, but clearly the younger wasn’t even aware of how he could help.
“We will talk tomorrow ?”
Another thing you had said that Pablo couldn’t hear. But Pedro had ended the face time not moving, weirdly focused on a spot on the wall. The shadows under his eyes had never been darker, and Pablo did try to find possible reasons that wouldn’t directly mean that his friend had a hard time sleeping. Pedro had been used to the Canary’s sun, the hot weather in winter and so had been his skin. He had probably lost his glow because he hadn’t been getting enough vitamin D, so on his now pale skin, the dark circles were darker, bluer. Or maybe it was the beard accentuating it. But Pablo was aware that it was just thoughts to comfort himself, because he had seen Pedro last year, and the year before and he hadn’t ever looked this tired, this grey. He sighed, and stood up wanting to meet the older boy on his bed. To talk? He wasn’t sure, but the nerves under his skin were pushing him to do something, anything. As he was about to move, asynchronous knocks were heard on their door with what he assumed was Ferran’s voice booming behind it. Bad timing, he thought.
With another sigh, he deviated his former trajectory to go and open the door. Pedro hadn’t reacted one bit at the ruckus. It had made his insides churn, it wasn’t normal. However, he quickly put the thought away, he would have time to dissect it later. Now, he had to manage his older friends who had five years old mindsets. He swung the door open, frowning at Ansu and Ferran who were standing outside in Nike slippers and barça’s tracksuits. The tallest of the two had a wide smile, proudly shaking his Playstation’s controller while Ansu was behind, a smile just as big and hands in his pockets.
“Hello hello, lover boys. We’re here to kick your ass on Fifa!” said Ferran, nudging Pablo so he would move aside, allowing them to enter. They did so, throwing themselves on Gavi’s bed and already fiddling with the TV.
“Eric and Ale should come down in half an hour, they were going to take showers when we asked them.” Added Ansu before turning his attention on Pedro. The said boy had barely acknowledged them, too focused on his phone for that. This had Ansu frowning.
Pablo nodded, dejected. He loved his friends, but he had wanted to talk and get things straight with Pedro, to finally know what is eating his friend away. They couldn’t read a room and he should’ve said something but that meant admitting to other people that something was clearly wrong with their midfielder. He wasn’t sur how much aware they were of the situation, or if they had noticed anything at all. He hadn’t wanted to explain it, in a rush, while Pedro was on his bed not even ten meters away. But now, he wished he had because they were being their hyperactive selves and it seemed like they couldn’t feel the tension in the room.
“Pedri! You playing?” asked Ansu, desperately wanting some sort of reaction from the younger. His frown hadn’t budged but his smile was still there, forming an unusual expression on his youthful face.
“Ask Pablo…” if the other 2002’s smile had slightly faltered, he had tried to hide it as fast as possible. He shrugged, feigning indifference and turning around so he could face the TV. Ferran had finally plugged his controller in and chosen his team. In the end, Pablo and Ferran played together for a while, the older winning easily. Ansu had excused himself, saying they were already making themselves at home in the two midfielders’ room, so he should let the youngest enjoy some videogames. Pablo was far from thankful for this, the older had just turned him away from his frenetic watch over Pedro. He had been so close to prod at Pedri’s bruises, so, so close, and now he was sure he would be back to square one once they would leave. Because that’s how it would always work with the islander: him letting one of his many defenses fall, allowing a glimpse of what would trouble his mind, just so he could rebuild his wall higher, thicker. And every second used to delay the feared conversation, was a step away from the issue.
What Gavi didn’t know, was that Ansu had taken over. He had settled himself across Pablo’s bed, facing Pedro’s, head propped up on his forearms as he analyzed him. The uneasiness he had felt regarding Pedro only deepened the more he took him in. He saw what Pablo saw, the dark circles, the exhausted look in his dark eyes, the mussed hair that would normally fall in small curls bathed in sea water across his forehead, his unusual paleness. But most of all, the constant frown that had settled between his dark brows, how it had created a small crease there, only adding to the pure weariness the younger was displaying. He wasn’t a frowner, nor a pouter, he was so open with his face, giving out shy smiles and sparkling gaze to everyone. Even when he had arrived in Barcelona, two or three years ago, Ansu wasn’t sure, he had never looked so worn out. It had been hard though, he had had to get used to the life in the mainland, especially in Barcelona where everything was stressful, always setting higher expectations. He only had his brother with him, leaving his family and his childhood friends on his small Island, hours away. Homesickness had been the main theme in the first months of his life there and Ansu had watched all of it happen right in front of his caring eyes, the way his smiles wouldn’t reach his eyes, the way he would linger on his phone when everyone would celebrate with their families. He knew how hard it could get, had went through La Masia and had given up on a big part of his childhood for his dream, but he thought that separating from what you had always known was harder the older you got. It must have been harder for Pedri, in that sense. Still, hope found a way to sip out of his irises, reassuring everyone who worried over him. They knew he was strong and was only falling under the long process of adjusting.
Ansu had also been there during the hellish year 2021 had been, for him and for Pedro. The amount of time the younger had spent on the field was astronomical, a little too much for the lack of reward it had brought. All of this for nothing. Obviously, it had taken a toll on the midfielder, how could it not when you give so much but receive so little? Yet, soft smiles and promises for a better future had slipped from his lips, again, reassuring everyone around him.
But what Ansu had in front of him was nothing he had known or seen yet, and he wasn’t sure how he should go about it. Sure, he had been there during these tough times before, had offered a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, and had found ways to comfort the younger. But he had never really been his first confident, Pedro reserving this role to Ferran principally, maybe Gavi now. But with the lack of concern the Valencian was showing, he wasn’t even sure Pedro was actually confiding in someone. This thought formed a knot in his stomach.
Pedri’s phone lit up again, deepening the frown already there and this caught the forward’s attention. This also was a new habit, being an awful lot on his phone. This was some type of addiction usually attributed to Pablo, who could never leave his phone even to go to the toilets, but Pedro had always been more laidback, able to separate from it easily. The artificial hit his tired features, weirdly showing off the storm of emotions dancing in his eyes, normally so well concealed. He was typing fast, chewing on his bottom lip while he waited for something, a text maybe? Ansu noted how he seemed to get even more closed off. He hated this feeling of being too far to reach him all the while being so close. When did their Pedro build this high wall between him and them? Somehow, this had to stop and Ansu knew what he had to do. He copied the midfielder by swiftly taking out his phone, texting Alejandro to wait for them in their room, changing the place of their Fifa tournament. Then, he proceeded to nudge Pablo with his covered foot, showing him the text. He knew that Pablo was more aware about the issue than all of them combined. Despite the credit people gave him, the youngest was observant and had set his eyes on Pedro practically as soon as all of that began. Pablo was aware and wanted to make things right again, so Ansu decided to help. A flash of understanding passed by his pupils before he nodded, conveying his gratefulness with a tight squeeze on his thigh.
“What are you both gossiping about?” chimed in Ferran, seeing how Pablo had turned his attention somewhere else, letting him score a goal without a complaint. He squinted at the duo, trying to pry the electronic device from Ansu’s hands.
“Nothing, Ale asked if we could meet up in our room, his lazy ass doesn’t want to come down.” Lying was bad, not in phase with his religion, but he believed God would forgive him for this white lie if it meant allowing some peace to their friend. Well, at least he hoped so.
“Really? But we’re all set there!”
“Yeah, but Ale doesn’t want to play if he has to move around, plus Eric is siding with him… It won’t be fun if it’s just the three of us.” Ferran had to stop there because Ansu was a bad liar and he was not sure he could keep up if another question was asked.
“I’m on this with Ansu, and Eric is the only one I’m sure I can beat, so…”
With the help of Pablo, Ferran gave up and agreed, turning off the TV and retrieving his things scattered around the room. A wave of relief hit the two youngsters.
When both intruders were finally out of the room, Pablo turned around, eyeing Pedro. He hadn’t moved one bit, still huddled under the heavy blankets of his bed, hood on and eyes fixated on his phone. The Sevillian sighed and came closer, quickly snatching it from his hands. This caused the other midfielder to look up, anger showing on his face.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“You need to sleep, you look like a zombie. This means you have to let go of that one.” He said, shaking it in front of the other’s eyes. “I’m taking this up with me just to be sure you sleep. You will get it back when you wake up.” He added, tone firm. Pedro knew he wouldn’t be able to negotiate and he hadn’t enough energy to try to fight Pablo on this. So, he sighed, pissed off, and slid further down his bed, turning around so only his back was visible. Pablo hated doing this, but he knew he was doing the right thing. Even if it meant being slightly hated by his best friend.
When he came back, three hours later, Pedro was waking up. He had tried to be as quiet as possible, but the heavy hotel door was anything but that. Pedro was a light sleeper, Pablo had anticipated that. Still, he didn’t turn the lights on, didn’t talk until he heard Pedro’s voice. Small. Unsure.
“Thank you.” That’s all he had said when the younger had finally sat down on his bed. Pablo looked up confused, not sure what this was about since he couldn’t decipher the older’s expression through the penumbra. Sensing that Pablo wouldn’t answer, Pedro continued. “For making me rest.”
“It’s alright”
Then, silence covered the room. The two were facing each other, not knowing what to say, if there was anything more to say to begin with. Anxiousness could be felt, tensed movements and breath held in. This was uncomfortable and unusual for the both of them. But Pedro was sitting there, head hanging, toying with his fingers, probably hurting the inside of his cheeks with his teeth, and Pablo understood that this had nothing to do with him. That’s probably why he stood up and went to the other bed, sitting next to him. He slid under the covers, four feet bumping together. Everything was easier when you didn’t have to face the difficulties frontally.
“Isabela sent many texts…” he hadn’t brought up the phone yet, but he had to talk about it at some point. Perhaps, beginning with this was the best way to get something out of Pedro.
“Hmm?”
“You both seem close”
“We are not.” Pedro had defended himself directly, slamming the idea down as fast as possible.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
Like that silence returned, sitting there like a king on its throne. Pablo hated silence. They waited and waited. Someone had to break first and the Sevillian was impressed by the way Pedro was holding on, like used to this.
“I believe this has something to do with Y/N… That’s what I meant.”
“Hmm”
And God, did he hate it when he didn’t receive straight answers. But this lack of direct response was the hint he needed to know that he had hit the nail. That’s why Pablo pushed, and pushed and pushed, prodding and toying with words just to put his fingertips on the guarded truth inside of his best friend’s heart. He kept going until the other would break, until the questions would be too much for him. And it had seemed like an eternity before the older let out a faint trace of reality. He had said it with all the calmness he had, concealing his emotions like a professional, explaining all sort of things. Allowing Pablo to meet his deepest insecurities, fears even.
He wasn’t enough, didn’t feel like enough. He felt like his shoes were too big for him, the world too wide and like everyone around him saw it. He wasn’t enough for you, hadn’t been for a while and whether it’s his fault or not didn’t change a thing, he couldn’t do more and you had distanced yourself from him for that. He felt alone, had been left alone in his apartment, dotted with traces of you. And he wasn’t even enough for himself now, unsure of what to do, there by himself. He also knew he was vanishing little by little from his friends’ backgrounds, not being present enough, hiding away. He wasn’t enough for his friends. And even in football, he wasn’t enough, for the team, for his fans, for his teammates. All of that was weighing him down and he was waiting for the breakpoint.
Pablo understood, knew he had had a part to play in that. He knew words could affect someone and he knew, while angry, he could throw them without a care, slicing through the other’s skin. He felt incredibly guilty right at this moment. He remembered what he had said weeks ago, using these exact words to describe Pedro, wanting to hurt as much as possible to vent his frustration. He hadn’t known, never would he have said that if he had an idea of what was going on inside his friend’s head. But these words had left his mouth and had hit right where he had aimed at. They hadn’t talked for days after that, yet it had still been Pedro who had come back, asking for a truce, always the mature one. It made something churn in his stomach, so ugly and uneasy. Pedro had gone to him, put aside his overwhelming worries, just to get his Gavi back. The more he thought about it, the worse it was. He had pushed his friend further down the dark alley the young man had already been pried in.
An apology was on the tip of his tongue, screaming to be said. But he kept his mouth shut, not sure if he had to make this about this fight, about himself. Pedro was next to him, putting all his energy into keeping his tears at bay, forbidding them to fall.
Now, Pablo wasn’t even sure if he could touch him to relieve him from this burden, even a little bit. Touches were his love language, using it to sooth people around him and to show them how much he cared. But that wasn’t Pedri’s.
Pablo didn’t know what it was now.
---
“Y/N...” the way he had dragged your name had you looking up from the couch, brows furrowed. You tried a smile, making it as natural as possible, wanting to ease the closed off expression on your boyfriend’s face. It hadn’t worked. He had sat down on the floor, in front of the couch, but had let quite the distance between the two of you. His knees were up in way that allowed him to circle them with his arms. You copied him, feeling as if it was the right thing to do. One of the right things you could do, for him? Maybe.
“I saw Isabela’s story.”
How much you had hoped that he hadn’t.
Tears gathered at the corner of your eyes when you connected the dots, when you understood what it meant. You wouldn’t let them fall though, it wasn’t your right to do so. Maybe, that could be the thing you owed him. Strength and honesty.
“Why?” the way he had croaked out this small word told you how much strength it had taken from him, he felt drained. He hadn’t ever known how much a word could represent and hold, before.
You were looking at him without moving, trying to swallow a sob that was coming up your throat, ready to erupt and break the silence that enveloped the room. You had no answers, or maybe you had but you refused to force them on Pedro. His ears should never meet your rotten words. It would be unfair. He was such an important part of your life, the healthiest one. He was your anchor, the one that kept you afloat when the waves hit you so harshly that it felt like you were drowning. But every time, he would hold on tightly, for the both of you because, of course, you couldn’t help but drag him with you, down in the Abyss that was the nauseous path of your life. He had never complained, always mediating things and reassuring you. How much longer before you would be the one drowning him?
“Please, YN...”
You hadn’t known your heart could break again. You had pushed him so far, he had to let out pleas. You were a monster, how could you put him through that? Why did he stay? The heartbreaking sound that had passed his mouth was enough to finally let the tears flow, running down your pale cheeks. Your eyes hadn’t dared leaving his, but you wished you had. Because, right at this moment, you were seeing how much you had taken from him. His beautiful, hazel eyes, were supposed to hold the world, shine under the soft sun rays and sparkle at everything. They weren’t supposed to look this somber, like nothing could bring back the amused glint that made you fall in love. They weren’t supposed to look like they had been drained from everything they held, and now only two dots remained on a fatigued face. You took a deep breath, wanting to calm down so you could explain. He at least deserved that. He deserved so much more. Through the tears, you had opened your mouth, working around your abused vocal cords and the lump that felt all too suffocating.
“I wasn’t myself, I was stoned and drunk and he was there.” another intake of air filled your lungs. You could feel a sharp sting on your thumb where you had torn a dead skin, blood circling your nail by trailing down its curve. “I was so lost, Pedro. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I needed to feel something and I don’t know why my brain didn’t scream at me when I agreed. I regret it!”
He had turned his head, preferring the sight of the foot of the couch rather than your curled up form. You were able to see his knuckles, white from the force he was gripping his elbows with. Now, unable to see his eyes, you understood you had lost the right to delve into his soul. It had been only a question of time, he should have taken that right from you a long time ago.
“You have to believe me when I say that! I regret it, I don’t know why I did it! But you have to believe me, Pedro!” and sobs were racking your body, making your voice tremble. You had never been this desperate. You wanted him to know that you were beating yourself up over that. That he was irreplaceable, the most important constant in your life, and nothing that had happened last night meant a thing next to him. You hated yourself for it, for everything you had done. “Please, believe me.”
“How far did you two go ?”
His voice was uneven and if his hands were shaking, you tried to erase it from your memories. Because you couldn’t be the one to bring him to this state. He couldn’t be your relief in life while you were his poison. That’s why you had diverted your eyes, instead focusing them on the fabric of your jeans. It was uneven, or maybe it was the thick droplets your eyelashes had collected that made it hard to see. Silence was filling the room and you knew you had to explain yourself, he deserved it. But you were such a coward, he should have known by now.
“Ok...” and the sigh he had let out, murmured and shaky, made you look up. He couldn’t stay with false information. He couldn’t believe what his mind had created, even though your truth wasn’t much better.
“We... It wasn’t all the way” God, why was it impossible for your voice to be stable ? You hated yourself for looking this weak when you should be the figure of force, you had inflected such pain on him. You should be rotting in hell, not sitting here, in front of him while you knew he was only waiting to understand. You knew he was too good for you, too good to be in your life. He hadn’t moved one bit. “It was just some teasing, with our hands...” you had whispered the last part, feeling incredibly ashamed by the person you were. You were describing the foreplay you had done with a random guy to your boyfriend, the boy you were supposed to love. You had to hide most details, you couldn’t hurt him more. He should never know how much you had enjoyed it, easily chanting a name that wasn’t his, easily adapting to another body. What was so wrong with you, that you couldn’t deny having taken pleasure with someone else while perfectly knowing you were inflicting torture on Pedro.
He had snorted. Had shaken his head.
“Just some teasing...”
"That’s not what I wanted to say!” you exclaimed, seeing how awful your phrasing had made it look like. It hadn’t been nothing. “We didn’t make love, Pedro.”
“I hope so. Making love is normally reserved to the people you actually love. I do hope I’m still that to you.”
His voice had been so cold. You had never heard his voice be this flat, not letting out any emotions. Your Pedro was supposed to be an open book, venting his frustration when he needed to and always having this mischievous glint dancing in his eyes, his voice a testimony of his usual happiness. Your tears had stopped when you had heard his tone, so shocked that you didn’t know how to respond.
“Am I, though?”
The question hurt so much more than everything else because you were slowly becoming aware that your betrayal hadn’t only been a physical one, but you had pushed him so far that he wasn’t even sure that you loved him. However, your lack of answer told him the opposite of what you were feeling. His guard came up, so high, higher than you had ever seen. You quickly stood up, wobbly on your legs and breath short. One step, a second one, and a final third before you finally squatted down so you could be eye to eye. Your shaky hand took a hold of his but you knew he wasn’t responsive. Usually, his fingers would caress the back of your hand in slow and small circles. It was just a dead weight now, one you were desperately holding on.
“I do! I love you so much, Pedro!” and sobs were being inserted between your words. “You are the love of my life.”
The way he had retracted his hand when you had said the intimate sentence, the one usually whispered in between your bedsheets, secured in the dark of the night and only your two breaths present, was all you needed to understand how fucked up all of it was. His frown had deepened but you knew that it was to make the tears pass, so he could go back to being the strong young man, stable and healthy, Pedri everyone knew. He pushed himself up so he could stand, taking steps back away from you. He had never felt farer.
“Forgive me, please” sobs wracked your body. Your hands were twisting the fabric of the dark hoodie you were wearing, crinkling it. “I will do anything, literally anything! I can’t live without you.”
Pedro shook his head, thinking, racking his brain with confusing thoughts. He passed a hand on his face, letting a shaky sigh out before ruffling his hair. Those were his anxious tics, you knew it. His curls were a mess, his fringe sticking to his forehead and with the way some strands seemed to stick out, it was evident he had tugged on them. And that broke you, completely, unforgivingly, shattered your heart and all the butterflies that Pedro had introduced to your stomach. They had all died with his trust and faith. Now you were a shell that had sheltered his love, your heart a Roman pit displaying the remnants of your relationship, buried under months of hurt and distance. You had done this, just like Pompei had shrouded Napoli with its thick cover of ashes, suffocating every ounce of life there was. Maybe, in the years to come, you would find perfectly conserved pieces of what you had had with Pedro, but now you could only see devastations, what you had selfishly destroyed.
“I can’t do it if you’re not there” you had whispered it and you knew, that you were again putting it on his shoulders. Asking for more, taking more than you should ever have in the first place. But how could you help it? He was your anchor, one of the rare things that still linked you to life. He knew it too. You hated holding him with that, using culpability and fear, but you had to. You weren’t sure you would survive if not.
“We never talk about that again, ever. Tomorrow, we will pick up where we were, and this has never happened.”
As his words had left his mouth, he left, not looking at you, never. He hadn’t slammed the door, just shutting it softly so only the faint click could be heard. He had bent, and weirdly, this made you feel even guiltier. There hadn’t been shouts, nor violent movements, just pure sadness in sideration.
That night, you went to bed, sliding under the thick blanket but still feeling cold and you had inhaled his scent on his designated pillow, not messing his side of the bed so when he would come back, he would make himself comfortable. You didn’t want to refuse him his pleasures. That night, you fell asleep looking at your window, trying to see if you could see his shadow reflecting on the road’s concrete, if he ever passed under the streetlight right under your room. That night, you fell asleep without ever knowing that he had come back, hours later, getting next to you but not daring touching you. That night, you were sleeping while he was awake.
---
“Is your brother in town ?” the physiotherapist asked Pedro. The midfielder looked away, his gaze fixed on the space the door wasn’t hiding. he could see the corridor and the staff moving around, his teammates still on the pitch.
“No, he’s coming back in a week I think... He had to help my parents at the restaurant.” he shrugged as he let himself be prodded at, poked around and stretched. He hated this part of his job, even though he knew his body needed it, especially now, with an injury straining his muscles, burning under his skin. The physio sighed as an apologetic expression appeared on her face.
“Do you have anyone who could stay with you? I believe that you can’t really put pressure on your thigh for now and I would be reassured if I knew you would be staying with someone who could keep you still.” she continued, pressing at the front of his thigh with cold fingers. It had stung, so hard, but in a fucked-up way, he relished in that. The way every press of fingers felt like needles piercing his skin.
“I will find someone.” he said, not meeting her eyes, still focused on the corridor. If he had watched her face, he would have seen the deep frown, the worried feeling emanating from her green orbs, everything that transpired concern. But he hadn’t. She knew injuries weren’t that greatly accepted by players, especially the younger ones, but Pedro was usually calm and mostly collected. It was rare to see him so out of touch with his own emotions. She didn’t like it, and she wanted to know that he wouldn’t withdraw himself from the rest of the team during his healing time. She knew how the new generation, Gavi, Baldé, Ansu, him, felt like no mistakes were allowed and wanted to give their best. She knew that an injury meant time off, she wanted them to relativize. It was easier said than done.
She let him off the hook so he could go change, and maybe process everything that had happened and would most likely happen. He had limped towards the changing room, accepting in silence the half hugs of the staff and the encouraging words, only nodding and trying to smile. Once inside the large room, alone, he sighed and began to take off his kit, wanting a warm shower.
The hot droplets of water hit his skin, sliding down every bump and crease, some would trail at the tip of his fingers, holding on before letting themselves fall and crashing against the white tiles. His brown curls were flattening against his forehead, long enough to peak in front of his eyes. He knew the physio was right, he shouldn’t stay alone. He was already mobilizing his thigh by standing there when he should stay sat. But he couldn’t call you, ask you that. You were already a mess, Pedro was the one who was supposed to take care of you. He couldn’t demand that of you when you were struggling so much. So, he would keep you free, and not put something else on you. He hoped that Ferran would be alone this week, until his brother came back, so he could at least dare to ask him if he could stay at his place to keep an eye on him. How was he going to make sure you were safe ? Another worry settled under his skin, it all felt too much.
When the skin of his fingers had wrinkled and the hotness of the water hadn’t seemed to be enough to warm him up, he decided to get dressed. His movements were slow, careful to not abuse his thigh. Socks on, shoes tied, hood up. He was now sitting on the bench, inside the changing room, waiting for his teammates to come back. He hadn’t checked his phone once, not wanting to see worried messages from his parents or pity comments on social medias. His ears perked up when he heard the happy chatter of his team in the corridor. There were shouts of “vamos” and laughters. He would have lied if he had ever said that right at this moment, his insides weren’t painted green with jealousy. He wanted to be out there, with them, celebrating and chanting Barça. He wanted the carefree spirit that seemed to surround them and bath in the same light as they were. He wanted so much, had dared to take it at some point, but now he seemed content with the sour taste of envy and didn’t care enough to try to grab it too. So, he stayed there, waiting for them to burst in the room, all sweaty. And they did, seconds later, with wide smiles and jerseys already off.
“Sorry for your injury bro, hope it’s not too serious!” Ansu said, genuine worry visible in his eyes as he patted Pedri’s shoulder. He had been the first one to come closer, and break Pedro’s bubble by touching him.
“It should be okay... They want to run more tests though.” He tried to show confidence, wanting to keep all of them collected when he was falling apart himself. That was enough to satisfy the foreword who had let out a “thank god” with an appeased smile. He had left to change not long after. And a chorus of the same questions and remarks followed, each by a different player, even Xavi. He answered the same way, for each of them. He knew the coach would have his medical file anyway, they would discuss it later.
Ferran finally entered, a wide smile playing on his lips and eyes shining. His facial expression had softened once his eyes had settled on Pedro’s form, but the glint was still there. he came closer, his jersey hanging on his shoulder. “You good?” he had asked, squatting down so he could entirely face the midfielder. Pedro couldn’t really lie to him, Ferran had been such a constant in his life that he felt like he owed him the truth. However, the words of truth wouldn’t live his mouth, so he shrugged, sighing heavily. The older nodded, trying to put himself in his friend’s shoes, squeezing the other’s knee. He wasn’t sure what else he could add to that other than offering a needed silence to his best friend.
“What’s gotten you so happy?” Pedro decided to ask, wanting to switch topics and divert the attention to Ferran. He wanted to know why he was happier than ever, surely his joy could be felt miles away.
“Sira came to the game and I saw her just before... You know, it had been some time since we last saw each other, so you know... Got me feeling all mushy inside!” he had laughed while saying the last part of his sentence, a faint blush painting his cheeks. Pedro didn’t know. It had been a while since he had felt all ‘mushy inside’ because of you.
“Oh...” he frowned, avoiding the other’s eyes. “I thought she had to be away for a competition ?”
“Oh, yeah! Well, it had been delayed because the weather is way too harsh out there right now.” Ferran had said that while throwing his sweaty jersey on the floor, right where the others were. It had created a pile of smelly, red and blue fabrics, all wet and scrunched up. “I’m so happy man, you have no idea!”
And Pedro had tried to give him one of his bright smiles, he really had. But it had seemed all too hard to do, too close to fake. He had only been able to muster a faint grin. He was relieved to know that Ferran was so absorbed in his own bubble of love that he hadn’t detected the deflect on Pedro’s shoulders. neither the trembling sigh that had left his lips once he had decided to leave him alone in order to get changed.
He surely couldn’t ask Ferran to stay at his. Not now. He had madly missed Sira, always complaining about the remaining days that kept them apart. And Pedro wouldn’t ever steal this moment from him, the moment where he could finally reunite with the girl he loved so much that he had completely changed for her. Pedro wouldn’t dare take that away. It’s okay, really. He would just do it on his own, a week wasn’t that long. He could easily spare his thigh during this short amount of time. He had to plan it all, but he could do it. And a white lie wouldn’t hurt the physio, he hated not being honest, especially with people who were there to care for his health but he didn’t really have any other choice anyway.
He had stood up, readjusting his hood. He was ready to leave, wanting to be as quick as possible back at home to crash in his bed and sleep it all away, until next morning. However, the firm hand on his forearm had prevented him to do so. With furrowed brows, he looked up, finding Pablo standing in front of him, wet hair from his shower and practically fully dressed.
“Wait for me...” he said, eyes boring into his, as if trying to make his point across.
“Wasn’t Aurora supposed to bring you home ?” he was sure he had seen the oldest Gavira before the game had begun, he was also sure that Pablo had told him not to wait for him once the game was done. The younger shook his head while sitting down in order to put his shoes on.
“Yeah, but we need to grab your things at yours, so I’m going with you.”
“What are you talking about, Pablo ?” Pedro’s brain was slow, slower than it should be and he couldn’t quite grasp what his best friend was saying. He had an idea nagging at the back of his brain, but he certainly didn’t want to entertain it. Not when he had resigned himself just minutes ago.
“Well for your stay, obviously. I love you bro, but I don’t really feel like offering you my closet, especially my boxers, that’s crazy disgusting.” and Pedro had still a confused frown etched on his face, eyeing Pablo as if he was spouting nonsense. Gavi sighed, eyes softening at the lost sight of the Canarian. “The physio asked Xavi with whom you were staying. Sira is here, and I know you, I know you would hate it, putting yourself between them and since you aren’t one to ask for help, I’m doing it for you.” he rented while messily tying his shoes, knots weirdly formed but apparently it worked for him. “You’re staying at mine, and I won’t take ‘no’ as an answer.” he finally declared, standing up again to face Pedro.
Silence was what got Pablo after his long speech. The older hadn’t moved an inch, but his face showed how much he was absorbing all of these words. Pedro had thought about asking Pablo, when he had understood that Ferran’s place wasn’t going to be possible. But he couldn’t rely on the younger too much. He was young, so young, and having Pedro staying at his place seemed like a burden. Pedro felt like a burden and he would hate it to be Gavi’s ankle ball. He was younger, by two years, and if anything, it was Pedro who should take care of him. Pedro had to take care of a lot of people, he knew it, and Pablo was one of them. The other way around was barely acceptable in his mind. So, he had resigned himself and decided to not ask, avoid the topic overall with the Sevillian. But he hadn’t thought of how relieving it would be, to not have to ask and to have someone do it for him. Pablo had taken care of him without asking, without demanding of him to make the effort and ask for help. It was such a weird feeling that a thin shin of water had gathered at the corner of his eyes. If Pablo had seen it, he wouldn’t be one to comment on it.
Just like he wouldn’t comment on the whispered ‘thank you’ he had received in the car, when they had collected a bag full of Pedro’s things, on their way to Pablo’s. Just like he wouldn’t comment on why staying at yours wasn’t a possibility. Just like he wouldn’t comment on why Pedro hadn’t even mentioned you.
Pablo had a heart made of gold, he proudly wore it on his sleeve and prided himself on understanding other’s feelings thanks to it. Pedro thought that nothing in the world could be truer than that.
His murmured ‘thank you’ wasn’t just for the coming week. It was for everything the younger was and had done. These two words couldn’t even come close to what Pedro had really wanted to say.
---
“Oh my god, Pablo! How many times do I have to tell you to not leave your shoes in the middle of the entrance!” Aurora yelled as fumbling could be heard. “I almost tripped, you idiot!”
Then she finally appeared in the living room, one of her hands holding onto a steaming coffee cup while the other was gripping her phone and a not so tidy binder. She had her hair down with golden hair clips to keep the locks at the front to get in her eyes. So dressed up, so put together and it was still so early in the morning, well not that early but for his overworked mind, nine A.M was too early, he wasn’t sure how she was able to be this hyped.
“Oh, hi Pedro! Sorry, I thought you were still asleep…” she laughed as she finally settled everything down on the coffee table. He shrugged, straightening a little bit to make some sort of good impression. He had known Aurora for as long as he had known Pablo. She had been such a strong presence for her little brother, always babying him, making sure everything is going well. Pedro would see her at every game at home, screaming and clapping with a giant smile on, probably flaunting her brother’s talent to her friends. Then she would be here every morning, when he would be pick up the youngest of the team, dragging him outside, excusing him to Pedro for his tardiness. She cared so much, and he knew his own brother cared as much, and in his biased mind, he was even sure that Fer cared more than Aurora. But their love language wasn’t as soft as the Gavira’s one. Because a punch in the arm and a teasing remark was the equivalent of a forehead kiss and a hand running through brownish locks for them. And sometimes, he would love to have it too, having these genuine and feminine marks of affection that are characteristic of a mother or a sister. He missed his mom. And he wasn’t sure how, nor since when had he started craving the softness of love, the gentle touches and the soothing words. He had never needed it much before, plenty aware of the love that was surrounding him, but now it felt suffocating to be without it. Like the world was too cold, too hard, too violent to continue without healing touches.
“No, it’s okay, I couldn’t sleep much anyway.” She nodded and moved around, getting her blazer off, tying her hair up. She then slumped on the couch, right next to him, a sigh of contentment leaving her lips.
“Where is Pablo?” she remarked after minutes of being here and not having had a glimpse of her younger brother. Which was weird since she had nagged, the exact attitude that would get him riled up and ready to fight back, smart responses on his lips. She frowned, turning around to see if his jacket was hung on the coat hanger, but the beige clothe wasn’t.
“He said something about seeing Ana before training.”
“Ah, right! She’s in Barcelona for two days, I think?” she said, unsure of what Pablo had told her. “Be ready to not get a glimpse of Pablo the entire time she’s here, this boy acts like they haven’t seen each other for years, when she had been there last week.” she added, rolling her eyes. But Pedro could easily decipher the fondness in her tone. He knew Aurora loved Ana for Gavi, she loved the fact that her brother was secure, feeling complete and loved and even though the relationship was long distance, nothing compared in her heart to the beaming smile Pablo would wear every time Ana was mentioned. She knew they had something solid and beautiful. Aurora knew how to share and she would gladly give up a little bit of Pablo for that.
“I would know…” she had said, after seconds of silence. This had Pedro facing her, confused about what she had meant by that. The girl rose a brow, a knowing smirk playing on her lips.
“Oh my god!” he exclaimed, a weird blush creeping up his neck when realization hit him. The airy laugh of Aurora met his and it only added to the giggling mess they formed, his hands covering his face when he felt like he was dying. Dying of laughter. She was also losing herself, wanting to talk through her hysterical fit but the lack of air made her voice go higher and higher, impossible to form coherent words. There it was, another wave of laughter thanks to her. She grabbed his forearm, tugging at it so she could see his face. He tried to escape, wriggling and catching his breath at the same time.
“Thank you but I really didn’t want to know that!” he said, still giggling. She opened her mouth to respond but she laughed again, slapping his knee.
“You think I wanted to ? It was so weird to hear it!” he snorted at that, making a disgusted face which had her laughing again. They had let this joyful tide nip at their skin, trying to get through it and inject serotonin in their veins, making them euphoric. They were finally regaining their breath when the comic situation had settled, allowing them to stay sat, a content smile on their faces.
“And ? What exactly did you hear?” she rolled her eyes, slapping his knee again. He was sure he would gain a bruise or two by the end of the day if she persisted on hitting him. “No, really! Did it sound fake?”
“Do you think I tried to analyze it? We are talking about my little brother, Pedri! This shit, he already disgusts me on a daily basis, knowing he indulges in these kind of activities makes it worst!”
“You do know that she is not his first, right? He has been dipping his wick for a long time, nothing new.” He teased, eyeing her, noticing the scarlet color on her cheeks.  Oh, what a great audience she was, so receptive and ready to pounce. A Gavira, he would say. If he hadn’t known the two were related, he was sure he still would have been able to make the connections.
“Do you want me to puke?”
He snorted, nudging her. Such a dramatic woman. She exhaled with a faint grin on her face, relaxing and looking at him fondly. She was now completely facing him since she had turned around on the couch, bringing her legs up so she could sit cross-legged.
“And you?”
“What? Want to know since when I’ve lost my V-card?” she rolled her eyes, slapping his knee, again. Did she want to injure his other leg? That crazy woman… He really had to stop hanging out with Pablo, he was beginning to speak like him, about his sister. Yes, the younger was definitely rubbing off on him.
“Gross!”
“As if it didn’t cross your mind…” he teased, poking her cheek.
“I was asking about you and Y/N” her voice was above a whisper, soft yet still prying. Never in his life had he felt his emotions change this fast. It was like a switch had been flipped, passing from day to night in a matter of seconds. He knew that she had been suspecting some things, but he couldn’t fathom the idea that she would bring it up.
“We can talk about it” she added, her eyes softening so much that it was overwhelming to Pedro. He felt so much compassion from her and he couldn’t understand why. Why was she looking at him as if he were bound to break any moments? He hated it, he hated bringing attention especially this way.
“There is not much to say, really” he responded, trying to ease his answer with a smile. It fell flat, her serious expression telling him she wasn’t believing him one bit.
“I’m not dumb, Pedro” she frowned but she hadn’t moved other than that. “Why aren’t you at hers?”
He sighed, turning his head to look at the kitchen and the wide window there. He could see trees that hid the rest of the buildings surrounding Pablo’s, big and luxurious. “We are just going through a rough patch. It will get better soon.”
“I believe it’s more than a rough patch… How come it’s been months since I’ve seen you laugh this genuinely?” and he had no answers to that statement. Aurora was correct and a gnawing feeling was invading his stomach, letting the sour taste of bile climbing his throat. If she had remarked, everyone else probably had because sure they were close, but he was far from spending all of his time with her. The idea made his head spin with worry and he absolutely had to find a way to get out of this conversation.
“Look, Gavi actually told me some things…”
“What?” he turned his head quickly, finally meeting her concerned gaze. If he hadn’t felt this betrayed, he might have caught on the frown that had settled on her lips and the nervous habit of hers of playing with a dead skin around her finger. “Are you both talking about me behind my back?”
“It’s not like that!”
“Am I your good deed? So you can feel at ease with yourself, so God can be proud of you?”
He was becoming hysterical, irrational, standing up, so he was way taller than Aurora, so he could grasp a little bit of the control she had egoistically taken away from him. She also stood up, fury evident on her face.
“What the fuck are you talking about? We just want to take care of you! We care for you, Pedro!”
And, magically, those words slightly appeased the wild storm that had formed in his brain. He knew he had made no sense, and the two siblings wouldn’t ever see him like that. But it was soon replaced by guilt and the nauseous feeling of being caught. He was trapped and she wouldn’t let go.
“Well, I don’t need it. I appreciate the effort, but it’s not your role.” His tone was harsh, wanting to scare her away. Hurt her? Aurora was strong and impossibly stubborn. She wasn’t the type to give up because Pedro had used condescending words.
“And why wouldn’t it be? As a friend, it is in fact my role.”
“No! Your role isn’t to be burdened with my problems.”
“So when I told you about being homesick, missing Sevilla and all of the other things that were wrong in my life, I was burdening you?”  and if it had been a game, she would have scored, hitting the right corner, deforming the net while the goalkeeper wouldn’t have stood a chance.
“It’s not the same!”
“Stop that! With the ‘I’m older, I have to shoulder everything and bottle things up because I don’t want to burden my friends who happen to be younger’ trope. Pablo is strong, he is clever even if he doesn’t look like it. He can understand things and be there for you, actually I believe he is more loyal than some of your older friends. You have to give us credits, we are younger, not dumb or too sensitive for life, Pedro. We can help you: you can confide in us and rely on us. You are only punishing yourself by keeping to yourself.”
She was panting by the end of her rant, worry mixing with anger. The sight was so unusual that swallowing was hard, feeling so small under her passionate eyes. She was intending to make her point come across, breaking through his skull.
“Yes, I’m younger than you. But I still see you as a little brother. Is that weird? Is it because you are like glued to my brother or is it because you remind me so much of him? I’m not sure, but I do have this sentiment that pushes me to protect you, to keep you safe and happy. It’s the same one I have every time I see Pablo frown. But Pablo vents, he runs his mouth and can’t keep shit to himself, so I know what’s going on and it’s easy to help him. On the other hand, you are so closed off, Pedro. And I don’t know how to be here for you, because I have to be there. I have to look out for you because how can I not? We are a family, the moment you chose to take my brother as your passenger princess you were a part of our family. Not to mention you prevent him from getting his head chopped off every games. And as a part of my family, I have to protect you at all cost, younger or not!”
He was pathetic. He must be a sight, right? The Barça golden midfielder standing in the middle of a living room, tears gathered in his eyes, threatening to fall, hands trembling with the sick need of running away from a small woman who only wanted to give him the help he desperately needed.
“I’m sorry…”
“No, you’re not. And that’s okay! I’m prodding right where it hurts. But it’s beginning to take a toll on you, you have to let people in. Pedro, please.”
She had slid a firm hand down his arm, grabbing his hand so gently that his shakiness seemed to transfer to her. She tugged at it, trying to coax him on the couch and he obliged because she had poured so much for him. Ranted and exposed her own feelings and opinions so he could find comfort in them. He owed her that. So, he had sat down, not letting go of her hand and sniffing, trying to keep the salty water at bay. After a deep breath, words and sentences he had buried deep inside him slipped out, meeting Aurora’s full attention. The months of hurt were finally known along with feeling of not being enough, never being enough. His insecurities, yours too, the no man’s land your relationship was now. It all spilled. And with a little push, Aurora had made him say what he thought deep in the night, scared and sick of his own need, but never acting on it. He didn’t want to be selfish, especially not with you because at some point he had been sure he would give up on his life for you, and he had believed you would do the same. Before, you would have. But it all had went to hell five months ago, and Pedro knew the reasons, he understood. He knew you had given up on yourself, not directly on your relationship, but it still hurt and he wanted so much to hold onto it. He sincerely believed it had only been a rough patch and you would go back to being yourself, but one month had passed and you were more outside than in your own place, less with Pedro, your home. The second month held hope because you had tried so, so hard to heal, for him, and you were filled with proudness when you saw him at the World Cup, he was shining and your heart had been beating for him. But they had lost and when Pedro had come back home, the person you were was far gone. He had buried his own doubts and hurt to try to keep you afloat, bottling everything up so he could be available. He had had no time to reflect on their loss, on what it had meant and not processing it made the sting come back, sometimes. He hadn’t had a healing touch from you, you hadn’t reassured him or told him it was alright and things would be fine after a while, you hadn’t and he had felt like something was missing. Then December came, family time, right? You had refused to spend Christmas with his family, even if he had told you that it was alright, that last year you had spent it with them and it had been great. And when Eric had asked him if he wanted to come to the new year’s party him and Ferran were throwing, he had denied, preferring staying with you. They didn’t have to know that you had went at Isabela’s and came back around four in the morning, completely drunk and a giggling mess. You had forgotten about him, but he hadn’t said anything. It had been alright, maybe you had needed the time out. But then it had been the same the next Saturday, and the next, and the next and you wouldn’t show up at any of his games and as time passed, you were more drunk and partying than sober and with him. He had tried, he had cleared his schedule as well as he could to go back to your place rather than at his, he had asked his manager to just focus on his principal sponsors and his club, so he could have time. But it had been no use. He couldn’t count how many times he had opened your door to nothing but emptiness. You had said sorry, but it sounded blend in his ears.  Maybe he should have shaken you before, making it clear that you also had to take care of him at some point, that you couldn’t take him for granted. But he hadn’t and it was his fault, really. Plus, he was far from being the one who suffered the most, if anything, all of that was because of how much pain you were in. He had no rights to want to let go and give up on what you had.
“She has no one, Aurora. No one.” His tears were falling freely on his skin, but slowly, the kind of tears that bore witness of relief. It was so appeasing to let go of the eternal pressure that had been squeezing his insides that he hadn’t moved to dry them. He let it be. “And I’m here, crying while thinking about myself. I have so many people who care for me, I have my family, I have Pablo, I have Ferran, I have you. She has no one. I’m horrible.”
“No.” Aurora seemed so confident here with her hands cradling his face, trying to let her sleeves soaking the dampness of his skin. “Listen to me, it’s okay to let go. You are also a victim of her condition, and it’s okay to not know how to manage it. You can let go, it doesn’t mean you are a bad person. It’s not selfish to put yourself first.”
And he hadn’t even brought up the idea of leaving to the young Sevillian, hadn’t mentioned it. But she had and maybe hearing that he wasn’t guilty, that it wasn’t his fault and he had the right to choose for himself, maybe hearing it, was soothing. Because someone knew and understood. He was legitimate.
“If she loves you, she will understand.”
---
The sun had set a long time ago, leaving the city in a heavy penumbra, perfectly matching with the coldness of winter. Only the fog was missing, thought the young midfielder as he looked around, searching for your figure in the street. He would be reassured if only he would be graced by a shadow of you, just the sound of your voice would suffice. But he had been there for half an hour, sitting on the steps of your building, under the yellowish glow of the streetlights. He had his hood up, hiding his face, hands in his pockets, clutching his phone in case you called. You never did.
God, did he seem pathetic.
By now, even the stars were hidden behind the thick clouds, only offering a black patch in the sky.
He sighed, leaning his head on the cold wall behind him. He couldn’t even feel his fingers now, his muscles numb. Numb. Everything was numb, his muscles, his limbs, his mind, his heart. It was like he had been put under anesthetic and the world around him was asking for him to move, to interact with it. He couldn’t, didn’t feel like doing this extra effort. So, he had decided to stay there, limply sitting against the building where his lover should be right now, safe and sound. You weren’t and he had been done worrying, even frustration wasn’t a part of the equation now. He was done feeling, he thought. He knew that it wasn’t true, that he could feel things, but right now he wished to stay in this unmoving side, where the sea was calm and still, where the wind stopped blowing and the Earth stopped spinning. He craved for the emptiness his mind could offer sometimes, the void, even if it meant being entirely disconnected from his surroundings. He wasn’t sure how it was possible for him to dissociate so much, every time he heard or saw something that should ignite infinite anger and wrench, he would put a wall between them and just stand there, reacting with his mind. Doing what he should do, in a logical way. That wasn’t healthy, he had heard many people talk about that. He wasn’t down to a bad habit anyway.
Another sigh left his chapped lips, leaving his mouth in a white steam. And his absent mind was brought back when he felt something bump on his foot. A pair of Stan smith, matching with his own.
“Need some money?”
Your voice had been light, a slight lull at the end of your question which hinted that you were in a euphoric state. He looked up, a frown marking his brows. Your coat was zipped up, showing how cold you were, cheeks flushed and nose running. But something in your eyes wasn’t adding up. They were unfocused and dilated, in a way he had never quite seen. That was probably why he hadn’t responded to your jokes, hadn’t laughed.
“Did you smoke?” he finally asked, standing up as he said it. He was hovering over you, his frame wide next to yours. You were facing each other, gazes fighting for the truth. You shrugged, rolling your eyes. That wasn’t a big deal in your mind.
“Shit? Weed?” venom was dripping from his voice and maybe if you were more yourself, you would have heard worry meeting disgust.
“Weed” a giggle had left your lips. You wanted to rile him up, to make him so angry so he could rough you up. You stepped on the side, pressing your key’s magnet on the door of your building to open it, ignoring Pedro at the same time.
“Oh, at least it’s natural, huh?” how much more sarcastic could he get? You nodded, proudly.
Why were you doing this to him? So harsh in your reactions, that all the worry and the relief from seeing you safe had vanished, replaced by white anger.
He had to calm down, he couldn’t let you eat his nerves like that. He couldn’t let you push him on edge every time, unsure if he would fall or not. He had to stay stable and collected. He had to keep on being himself. So, he followed you, silence filling the space you were sharing as you climbed up the stairs, reaching your front door. You opened it, not caring if he was coming in or not, not even taking off your shoes. You took off your coat, letting it fall at your feet and slumped on the couch. Dirty clothes were pushed on its side, creating a small pile of dark shades, replacing the giant velvet heart pillow you had bought in your favorite indie store. Cups of what he had imagined being tea were collected on your coffee table, the former hot liquid now cold inside the white porcelains. Your bed, visible behind your couch, was unmade, the blanket rolled on the side he usually used and his pillow on your floor with your spoilt blankie. All of the pictures that had been adorning your walls had been taken off, taking residency in your bin, some torn. A weird relief washed through him when the ones with him were intact, under the trashed one. The roses he had offered you last month were still in the vase on your kitchen table, completely dead. The red had turned brown, petals nibbled, thorns robbed from their defenses.
He hadn’t set a foot here in two weeks.
While he had been focusing on your small apartment, you had stood up, opening the window to let the steely air enter. You were searching for something, rummaging in a drawer under your TV. He rolled his eyes, now used to your frantic mimics. Redirecting his gaze next to your bed, where was your desk, left untouched since Christmas. University was a sore subject, one he had never dared bringing up. But he knew, he had guessed you were done with it. You had dropped out.
“Another one? You’re still high from your previous one!”
You had lit another blunt, the acidic odor perfuming the room. A grimace had settled on his face at the sight, the heavy smoke filling his own lungs and squeezing his heart. You brought it to your lips, breathing in the euphoriant plant. “Why?” and for the first time this night, you dared really looking at him, deposing your eyes on his dejecting form, matching his tone. Guilt appeared in your stomach, closing it around its ugly shape. You took another hit, blowing it out towards the window, stealing all the courage the synthetic happiness had to offer before looking at him.
“My mom called…” he frowned, getting closer. “Same old, Pedro, that’s it.”
“Why didn’t you call?”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Getting high won’t help”
You turned around again, now definitely facing the window. You weren’t the most rational right now, but the need to hurt him, as much as you were hurting, seemed primitive. You wanted your words to cut as deep as the ones you had heard hours prior, making him bend over, asking for a break. But you knew he had nothing to do with it, that it was so unfair to him. Instead, you focused on the street outside, plunged in the dark and settled for something you deemed less hurtful.
“Oh, because you can help?” and your flat voice couldn’t sooth what you had implied.
His breath caught in his throat, the weight of the situation finally crushing him. It had pushed him down, applying an incredibly heavy pressure on his sore shoulders. Another blow, another hit that made him stumble. And in this mix of pure pain, his anger, contained for months, asked for release.
“What do you think?” his tone had lowered, calm anger was the worst and hurt you the most. He wasn’t aiming at that, but it had reached a point where the spikes were too sharp for him to raise his voice. Flat anger was the calm before the storm.
“Nobody can help me. Certainly not you.” you stumped out the tip of your blunt on the hard surface of your window frame, turning around, letting your ugly side win. Tonight, you would shred him, making him bleed on your pale carpet. His confused eyes, darker than you had ever seen, met yours and you scoffed. “You and your perfect little life, with your perfect little family, your perfect loving parents and loving brother and your perfect little friends, huh? How could you help?” a giggle, accompanied by a pointed index, pinned him. “You cannot understand and your stupid attempts are futile, they won’t ever help me. You’re just making it worse by always nagging. There is nothing to do anyway, so leave me alone!”
“Nagging? I’m taking care of you every fucking day! I’m the one who has to pick you up every night, when you decide to get trashed, I’m the one cleaning after you. No, I’m not nagging, I’m making sure you’re safe, can’t you see that?”
He was losing his calm, you were close to making him fall, so you pushed, again. You wanted to see him wobble on the edge, catching the moment where he would lose balance and succumb to the ugliest things in his heart. So, you opened your mouth, delivering the fatal blow. “Oh please, I’ve never asked for your help. Don’t blame me for what you wanted to do!” a roll of eyes, the perfect picture of indifference. “Your life is so bland that you cling to me so you can taste a little bit of adrenaline. I cheated on you, Pedro! But you’re still here, fussing over me. I humiliated you, screamed someone else’s name and you did not leave. Don’t you have self-respect?” you saw his eyes darkening, glistening under the artificial lights. But you couldn’t stop, not now. You were close to get what you so desperately wanted. “No, you don’t. You’re twenty, fucking rich, and here you are, crying over me. You could do anything you want, getting shit faced at parties in villas with your little footballer friends, travelling the world and cheat on me with any chicks around Barcelona. But no, no, you religiously follow your diet, you call your parents every two days and you fuss over me. That’s your life. Pretty sad, no? You live like you’re in your forties with kids. You can’t even get angry! You’re a coward.”
“Shut up!” his voice had resonated in your apartment. You both were looking at each other as you were completely shocked by his outburst, yet it had been what you had wanted. He was panting, fists tightly clenched at his sides. “Just shut up!” he got closer, red high on his cheeks and his hot breath fanning your skin. “You don’t want my help? I’m a coward? Without me, you would be dead, Y/N. Be realistic, if I were not here, you would probably have sliced your wrists open already. Not being able to face life without getting high or being drunk isn’t living in my books. That’s pitiful. Don’t lecture me on how I live my life when all you do is destroying yours.”
“You’re the coward, you’re such a coward. You cheated on me, because you cannot love correctly. I don’t cheat because I’m not some freak who can’t deal with my emotions. Be honest with yourself, for once. Admit it, Y/N! You’re fucking unstable, and I’m not like you. I’m not interested in throwing everything away and hurt the ones I love.”
You had never thought that he would go this far, spilling all his swirling thoughts to you, everything he had kept hidden at the back of his head, desperately trying to not prod at it. You had pushed him too far and now that you had obtained what you had asked for, you regretted it. Hearing these words coming out of his mouth, it had hurt, because you knew there was some truth to it. “You really think that?”
After your question, a tense silence had enveloped the room, every corners. Both of you were staring at each other, eyes full of sorrow, unshed tears trapped in your lower lash lines. Even the street had kept quiet, not wanting to disturb the time you needed to process things. It felt like hours, it could just have been seconds, but your breath was short and you were suffocating. A dull ache behind your heart was pushing, and pushing, making a clawing feeling course your body. Was it guilt? You knew you had to add something to this, it screamed for it to come out.
He wouldn’t answer. You knew.
“I wouldn’t kill myself”
Pedro sighed, his shoulders slumping while he let go of one of his dozens of worries. Still hidden behind his shell, the one he used to protect himself with from the prying eyes, the scary ones that would search for his depth, everything he wanted to keep to himself, he had sighed. Had accompanied it with a firm hand running over his tensed face. Then, he had let his limb fall at its side, hanging there without any moving attempt.
“Y/N, I think we should stop this…” he had whispered it. Yet, the words had cut deep enough. However, you would lie if you ever said it was a shock to you. It hadn’t been. You had been wondering for months when would it be coming, when he would finally allow himself some peace. Even if these words were the blade across your skin, you couldn’t even fathom the idea of resenting him for that. You would let it slash, make your scarlet blood dribble at the tips of your fingers while leaving angry red streaks on their track. He could even add salt if he wanted to, you would let him, leave your wound in open air being washed down by the rain. You would let his words hurt you, but you weren’t sure if you could let him act on it.
“Yes, let’s stop fighting. We can discuss about it tomorrow, when we are calmer.” You played dumb. It was always the easiest way to get away of something in your mind, contouring the problem and continuing as if it had never happened.
“No…” His eyes had locked with yours, shining under the artificial light of your rusty chandelier. “Let’s stop us.”
You saw how much these words had also affected him, his voice had wavered by the end of his sentence. You weren’t capable of letting any sounds out, looking at him with a crushed expression because your world was crumbling around you. You were finally losing him.
A honk was heard outside, then an airy ‘bye’ mixed with a feminine giggle. A car door had slammed for your building’s to open, hinted by the faint sound of the digits combination. And here you were, holding yourself up against the frame of your window as the boy who had given up so much of himself for you was two feet away.
“We should break up, Y/N.”
You had nothing to answer to that. He was right, the toxicity that had seeped between you was taking more place each day and even for you, you knew it was the best thing to do. You had to heal, to try to love yourself and go on without leaning on someone. You had to fight for peace and it was not fair to bring him into this, not when it meant stealing his light. You had to learn and he couldn’t do that for you. But it hurt so much, even if it was what should be done, your heart still felt like it had been ripped out of your chest. Your quietness only comforted him in his decision, proving his point. You weren’t fighting for it.
In a haze, he left your apartment. He hadn’t uttered another word, scared to break the brittle agreement you had come up with in silence. He didn’t quite remember how he had moved, if he had looked at you one last time or if he had heard anything, even a simple sob that would let him know you were as broken as him. He didn’t remember, everything was a blur mixed with unshed tears, blocked out to protect his soul. He was pretty sure he had skipped a step in your stairs, wasn’t aware how he had caught himself, had he closed your door while leaving? He had no more control, he hated it. He hated himself.
Now, he was standing in the middle of the street, under the same streetlights that casted a yellowish glow over him, wind numbing his skin. It felt as if the world was falling on his shoulders, crushing him. Everything he had tried to repress while talking to you came back full force, clutching his lungs and making his head spin. He had put an end to your relationship, he had thrown away what you had. It all felt too much, coming up his throat and strangling him. The tears he hadn’t shed finally ran down his face, dampening his cheeks, drained of colors. He was sobbing, not able to keep every ounce of emotion inside. With a trembling hand, he took his phone and called the first person he thought of, the only person who would comfort him without asking too much questions. The sound of the call, right before he picked up, resonated in his mind with all the hurtful things he could think of. Then, the soothing voice could finally be heard.
“Fer, can you pick me up?” he was sobbing, his voice slurred, barely intelligible, cut by hiccups. Fernando could hear him working himself up and he was scared that his little brother was going to pass out. After every cry, his heart pace picked up.
“Where are you? What’s going on?” he tried to keep himself composed, couldn’t risk to bring Pedro to the edge he was already dangerously dancing with. He had already put his shoes on, skipping steps towards his car.
“I’m at Y/N’s”
“Stay there, I’ll be here soon.”
But he could still hear the agitated breathing, the sniffling, the chocked-up whines. He knew that Pedro was heartbroken, had never really seen him in this state. He didn’t need to answers to his questions to understand.
Once his feet touched the car’s pedals, he whispered in the most comforting tone he could muster the words he knew his brother craved. “I’m coming, Pedro. I’m here.”
☁️
I need to say it there, because it is really important to know that. You deserve help, you deserve people surrounding you and holding your hand while you go through the hardships life throws at you. You are not less deserving, less lovable. And you are certainly not a problem. But sometimes, the help you intimately need, is the one coming from a professional and nobody can replace that.
That’s why, if you are the helper, you also have to know that it’s okay to leave. You deserve to leave and put your health first, it’s okay to give up, not on the person but on the role you play in their life. You deserve appeasement and healing as well, you deserve to say stop when it’s too much. You are not guilty, nor a bad person. You cannot be the sole support of someone’s life, and if you can’t handle that, leaving is okay. You can change your role, step out but still be there. Of course, you can. Nobody has the right to blame you, because you did your best and you tried.
Both of these cases deserve love, appeasement, healing, care. Both of these cases are strong, deserving of the best. Every feeling of yours are legitimate and putting yourself first isn’t you being egoistic.
All the love to everyone ♡
173 notes · View notes
toxic-libra · 1 year
Text
light a flame
pairing: your bias (or hoshi) x you (female reader) word count: 10.7k pov: written in 3rd person genre: mature content/smut, fluffy, kinda frat!universe, friends with benefits to lovers warnings: graphic sex (tiny bit of choking, biting and overestm.), mentions of alcohol synopsis:
Everyone advised them that this “friends with benefits” thing was never good to actual friends… One of them would eventually grow attached and the other would freak out, ending things and damaging the friendship forever. However, he thought they were unbreakable… Or were they not?
Inspired by Light a Flame - Seventeen
disclaimer 1.: this has been posted on my personal blog already as a non-interactive scenario disclaimer 2.: english is not my first language so ya'll know the deal... any mistakes, pls tell me
acess here: hoshi ver. // optional bias ver.
87 notes · View notes
sportswriters · 17 days
Text
welcome to sportswriters!
this account has two authors: ella, 25, she/her & namu, 24, she/her. we're from brazil. just two besties writing for fun since high school.
we're going to focus on writing football, ice hockey (nhl) and baseball (mlb) scenarios. feel free to request some ideas!
important: we don't write heavy topics such as death, tragedy, violence or bdsm. we also don't write ships between players.
here's the list of players we write for:
football
mason mount
rúben dias
phil foden
jude bellingham
aymeric laporte
joão félix
pablo gavi (no smut)
pedri gonzalez
aaron ramsdale (no smut)
kepa arrizabalaga
kai havertz
antoine griezmann
dominik szoboszlai
trent alexander-arnold
son heungmin
nhl
jeremy swayman
andrei svechnikov
jack drury
brady skjei (no smut)
jesperi kotkaniemi
anthony beauvillier
mlb (send requests!)
matt chapman
masterlist (soon!) | football fic recs | nhl fic recs
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jude5bellingham · 4 months
Text
post to story ౨ৎ jude bellingham
pairing: jude bellingham x f!reader
summary: when attempting to document a trip to madrid becomes a soft launch.
warnings & notes : reader has something already established with jude, is good friends with jobe, and other people in jude's circle. in my head i imagine that the set of stories are spread out throughout the day or week!! also sorry the plot is so loose 😔
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
when did you get here
why didn't you say anything
are you still out?
yourusername
yeah
see you in 10
you know where i am bellingham
judebellingham
you're the worst
i'll be there in 5
💌 gioareyna has replied to your story:
ain't no way
yourusername
no hello? hi ??
a waving emoji would've been enough too tbh
gioareyna
yeah you don't deserve that rn
don't do anything i wouldn't do
yourusername
not exactly sure what that means but
thanks dad
gioreyna reacted 👎🏻 to a message
💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
the dots...
yourusername
there are no dots
jobebellingham
if you say so..
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
looks an awful lot like my brother
yourusername
blehhhhh
jobebellingham
you're the worst
yourusername
and you sound just like your brother
jobebellingham
oh! you're definitely the worst!
💌 camavinga has replied to your story:
no need to tease us
we know who
yourusername
teasing is my specialty
camavinga
keep that between you and jude
yourusername
who said it was jude 🤨.
camavinga
yeah ok 😂😂😂😂
yourusername reacted 👎🏻 to a message
💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
your song choice is making it seem like i'm some whore
yourusername
...
judebellingham
wow
i see how it is mate
yourusername
no need to mate me now
judebellingham
?
pretty sure you'd like that
yourusername
i think that's more than enough out of you jude
judebellingham reacted 🤐 to a message
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 trentarnold66 has replied to your story:
tell me the lad put on a good show at least
yourusername
not better than you
trentarnold66
obviously not better than me
yourusername reacted 😂 to a message
but still
💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
HELLO??? THEYVE CONNECTED??
yourusername
what are you talking about
jobebellingham
THE DOTS
yourusername
STOP.
jobebellingham
i knew it...
yourusername
my turn now
you're the worst
jobebellingham
🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
yourusername reacted 👎🏻 to a message
💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
didn't know you were in the stands
why didn't you tell me you wanted to watch
yourusername
didn't want you offering me the same seats you give every other girl
or the goal dedication
judebellingham
bit presumptuous of you
who says i would've offered you seats
or dedicated my goal to you
yourusername
oh?
you wouldn't have?
judebellingham
of course i would've
would've written your name on my undershirt
blown a kiss and everything
yourusername
same treatment every other girl gets?
judebellingham has reacted 👎🏻 to a message
judebellingham
there aren't any other girls
yourusername
that's not what a certain someone said 🤐
judebellingham
i'm killing jobe
yourusername
just kidding
your mother got me that seat
judebellingham
i told her to do it
yourusername
yeah sure
good job today brum boy
judebellingham
me when they say good boy 😝
yourusername
I DID NOT SAY GOOD BOY
judebellingham
you did now 🤤🤤🤤
yourusername
you are SICK.
judebellingham
sooo... see you at 5?
yourusername
can i say no?
judebellingham
no
yourusername
🙄🙄🙄 see you at 5 then i guess
judebellingham reacted 😁 to a message
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 camavinga has replied to your story:
kiss already
yourusername
EDUARDO.
camavinga reacted 😂 to a message
💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
your plausible deniability is running out btw...
yourusername
no it's not
innocent until proven guilty actually
jobebellingham
mum said you stayed over
yourusername
ON THE COUCH
jobebellingham
WITH JUDE
yourusername
you know what
i'm not arguing with you jobe
jobebellingham
cause you would lose
yourusername
no
jobebellingham reacted 👎🏻 to a message
jobebellingham
why can't you guys just give it up
it's not like you have to tell the world
but you don't have to lie to me
yourusername
...
it's cause me and your brother aren't anything jobe
jobebellingham
GIVE IT UP ALREADY
yourusername
i'm serious jobe
we haven't talked about it
jobebellingham
so you went all the way to madrid to see a guy who won't ask you out officially
yourusername
not just any guy 🙄
he's your brother
ALSO I DID NOT GOT TO MADRID JUST FOR THAT
jobebellingham
he's just another guy if he won't ask you out officially yn
he is my brother but stand up ☝🏻😀
yourusername reacted 👎🏻 to a message
yourusername
...
can you stop being real with me jobe what the flip
FINE
i will start the conversation
jobebellingham reacted 🙏 to a message
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1:27 AM
jude
yn
uhhhhh
??
grrrrrrrrrr
you alright?
AHHHHHHHH
AHHHHH
why are we screaming
jude you know i like you right
i like you too yn
what is happening
jude what are we
oh wow
yn you are ruining it
oh
NO
that came out so horrifically wrong
i'm so sorry
what i meant to say is
i have dinner reservations for 2 at 6pm
and you just spoiled your own surprise
ohh
nice save jude
🙄🙄.
fine
yn you make me really happy
and i hate that i haven't brought this up earlier
would you let me be your boyfriend
weeeeeee
okay now you're ruining it
i'll see you at 6 mate
wow...
yourusername added to their story!
♫ The Daughters of Eve ⠂Hey Lover
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💌 camavinga has replied to your story:
so can you finally admit it was jude
yourusername
🙄🙄.
camavinga
have fun tonight 😉😏😏
yourusername
EDUARDO CAMVINGA.
camavinga reacted 😂 to a message
camavinga
i didn't say anything 🤔🤔
yourusername reacted 😒 to a message
💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
did he ask you out
yourusername
yes...
jobebellingham
are you guys together now
yourusername
yes...
jobebellingham
so the dots connected
yourusername
yeah...
jobebellingham
go ahead
yourusername
you're the best jobe
jobebellingham reacted 😼 to a message
💌 gioareyna has replied to your story:
did you never see that clip dortmund posted
yourusername
which one
gioareyna
who wouldn't you let date your sister
yourusername
... i saw it
gioareyna
congrats though
he's yours to deal with now
yourusername
i'm sure you could steal him back anytime
gioareyna
let me know if he's too much for you to handle
i'll take him off your hands
yourusername 😳 reacted to a message
💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
really?
the last story was unnecessary i think
yourusername
yeah he's a little odd looking
but he's my boyfriend
judebellingham
...
yourusername
speechless?
judebellingham
i have a bad feeling this is just the beginning
yourusername
of our relationship 💔💔?
judebellingham
no
good feeling about that
bad feeling about
your future story posts...
yourusername
yeah you're probably right
don't get caught lacking now mate
judebellingham
again with the mate...
can you go back to calling me your odd looking boyfriend
yourusername
alright
if that's what you prefer mr. odd looking boyfriend
judebellingham reacted 🙃 to a message
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
wow this is brutal
💌 gioareyna has replied to your story:
oh he is not living this down
💌 camavinga has replied to your story:
poor jude
💌 trentarnold66 has replied to your story:
give the lad a break
💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
this is just cruel
and evil
and mean
and
:(
yourusername
isn't my boyfriend just the cutest lil guy ever?
judebellingham
well if you put it that way...
yeah
yourusername
great! so it's staying up
i'm gonna add it to my highlights too
judebellingham
you evil woman...
yourusername
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tagged judebellingham
liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and 201 others
yourusername silly strange odd boyfriend making silly strange odd faces on our silly one year anniversary 🤍
view all 60 comments
camavinga he never learns does he 🤦‍♂️
yourusername nope!
jobebellingham he's finally moved up to feed post 🥳
yourusername yep! 🥳
judebellingham WHY DID YOU POST THEM IN THAT ORDER
yourusername wdym
judebellingham why didn't you post the normal one first
yourusername cause that is least representative of my boyfriend duh..
judebellingham ...
judebellingham one day i will get you back for this...
yourusername never🥸
judebellingham one of many years to come 🫶🏽
yourusername almost makes me feel bad for the order of the pictures
yourusername jk
yourusername 🤍🤍
judebellingham yeah 🙄 love you too🤍🤍
yourusername thanks mate 🤍🤍
judebellingham ...
2K notes · View notes
mountttmase · 2 months
Text
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Like Magnets
Note - please read this if you haven’t already before reading 🩷 this fic won’t be for everyone so I just want to prepare you. Feedback would be lovely and I hope you enjoy this 🥰 I know it’s insanely long but I was trying something 😂
Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader
Word count - 18.7k
Warnings - angst, fluff and smut
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Two objects containing charge with the same direction of motion have a magnetic attraction force between them. Each magnet has a north and South Pole and opposite poles are attracted to each other.
You wondered if this was why you felt so drawn to Mason. He was the north to your south and as soon as you caught sight of him you’d felt taken in by him. Stuck together like magnets from early on as you wondered where have you been all my life from the first moment you spoke and always finding yourself drawn back to each other.
To say you’d never been on a dating app would be a lie, you just didn’t like admitting it to people. It made you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable even though practically everyone did it but the years of your mum warning you about stranger danger made you want to keep it to yourself. Whenever she asked how you met the man you’d been on a date with you’d conjure up some lavish story of how your eyes met over a dimly lit coffee shop and you knew you had to speak to him. Rather than the truth of him sliding into your dm’s with some corny joke and the need for physical interaction and intimacy outweighed the logical part of your brain.
You weren’t looking for a relationship, content with how your life was right now but that didn’t mean you didn’t like talking to boys. There was a part of you sometimes that wanted to just flirt for a bit, to make someone feel good and have them make you feel good in return yet most conversations you’d had on the app lately had been dry and boring. You were desperate tonight though, quickly updating your profile and adding a few new pictures before you got to swiping.
Mason stood out to you straight away.
He had a mix of goofy and sweet pictures that let you know he didn’t take himself too seriously but he was attractive and seemed fun so you swiped right without a second thought before another screen flashed up instantly.
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That fact he’d already liked you first made you smile and the itch to talk to him was stronger than it had been with anyone else so you quickly tapped send a message. Thinking you’d stand out and put a bit of the hard work in first but to your surprise he’d got there before you. A message flashing up as you were halfway through writing your own.
No boring hi, how are you? x or a crude comment about the shape of your body and you warmed to him straight away even if his lines could use some work.
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His words made you blush and you could tell how cheeky he was through the screen. The fact he didn’t seem to be taking anything too seriously too made you feel even more comfortable and you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face as you got settled into your sofa.
You spoke for a couple of hours, flirting back and forth lightly before you decided to take the plunge and send him a big compliment. Letting him know he had really pretty eyes and this in turn seemed to give him a confidence boost to start complimenting you more. Telling you how pretty you looked and how he thought you might be trouble yet his words just excited you.
You spoke about what you wanted, both not looking for a relationship as such, just a little bit of fun for now and you felt like you’d hit the jackpot for fun with Mason. You didn’t stop laughing as you texted back and forth and you knew he was different from anyone else you’d spoken to.
You’d never clicked with someone so quickly like this before. Not wanting to shut the app down in case you missed a message but they were flying back and forth so quickly you didn’t have a chance to do anything else until you told him you were off to take a quick shower and the cheeky emojis he sent you made your cheeks flush.
You were as quick as you could be, jumping back on the app so you could let him know you were back in hope that he hadn’t gone to sleep yet but his next messages made your chest tighten with nerves.
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You thought he could tell you were nervous, quickly pulling on your pj’s and getting into bed but your heart was pounding. You’d never called a boy this quickly before, usually giving it at least a week before you gave your number out let alone a phone call but the need to hear what he sounded like outweighed everything
In the end you sucked it up, adding him to your contacts before pressing the call button and it only rung once before he picked up.
‘Hello?’
It was like time stopped. His voice causing goosebumps to rise all over your skin as your breath caught in your throat and your mind went blank. God he sounds sexy you thought. Knowing you had to say something back but the sound of his voice was intimidating.
‘H-hi, Mason. it’s y/n’
‘Ah, hello trouble’ he laughed, making you breathless in an instant and you wondered how you’d be able to get through the call without exploding. ‘Wasn’t too sure I’d hear from you. Thought I’d scared you off’
‘Yeah I um- s-sorry im just a bit nervous’ you chuckled laying flat down on your bed and even though you were alone you felt like you had to be quiet. Like you were speaking to someone you shouldn’t be but the excitement thrilled you.
‘I can tell’ he laughed, but you knew he wasn’t making fun of you. ‘There’s no need to be though, you can trust me I promise’
‘I know’ you whispered, thinking you didn’t know him enough to trust him but something deep down made you feel like you could.
‘Good’ he laughed before diving into asking you a million questions about yourself. Your favourite food, favourite drink, favourite colour, favourite trip you’d ever been on and the more you talked the more you laughed until your cheeks ached.
‘It’s nice to hear your voice’ he whispered as he was waiting for your giggles to quieten down and his confession made your face burn.
‘You too’ you smiled, your skin flushing as the pair of you spoke and you had to stop yourself from curling into a ball and giggling in excitement.
You spoke for hours, letting him in on things you’d never told anyone and even though he was just a voice on the phone, it felt intimate and like he was right there next to you. Spilling all his secrets to you himself and you’d never felt closer to anyone.
You wondered if the dynamic would have changed too much, going from texting where you could half think about what you were saying to speaking directly and being too nervous to say anything remotely interesting but it felt the same and he was just as funny as his texts.
‘I can’t believe it’s 2am’ he laughed. ‘We’ve been on the phone for hours and I don’t wanna hang up’ he confessed and the sound of his laughter was like music to your ears.
‘Neither do I’
‘So same time tomorrow then yeah?’ He laughed, and even though you were tempted you knew you couldn’t.
‘I wish, I’m actually going out with my girlfriends tomorrow’ you told him but already you felt like ditching them for a night on the phone with him.
‘Anywhere exciting?’ He asked, unsure if you should tell him where you were going but you felt so free talking to him that the words came tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop them.
‘That club in town. Luna I think it’s called?’
‘Oh I know the one’
‘Yeah I’m not usually one for going out to places like that so it’s my yearly trip’ you laughed, hearing him chuckle on the other end.
‘Well I won’t keep you up much longer. Thank you for calling, I know it was a bit forward. Truth is, I’ve never wanted to hear someone’s voice so badly before’ he told you lowly and you felt your whole body tingle. He was making you feel special and you were loving every second of it.
‘Well I hope it lives up to your expectations’
‘Oh and then some’ He laughed. ‘You’re proper sexy you know that?’
‘Oh stop it’ you laughed, face flushing as you tried to hide it in your pillow. His laugh ringing in your ears and all you could think about was wanting to see that pretty smile of his in person.
‘Nah nah, im serious. Proper sexy teachers voice’ he told you, knowing the effect he was having on you but he just kept going.
‘Mason I swear to god-‘
‘Ohh Is someone getting a little flustered?’ He laughed ‘You wait till I see you in person I’m gonna tease the life out of you’
‘You wanna see me in person?’ You questioned. The same nervousness that was present when you first called him earlier now back at the thought of seeing him.
‘Of course I do, I’d be mental not to’ he laughed, and you felt dumb for even questioning him at this point. ‘You’re gorgeous and funny like what’s not to like?’
‘Unless I’m a catfish’ you joked, trying to deflect slightly but he wasn’t having any of it. Practically feeling his smile trickle through the phone.
‘All the more reason to see you and put those rumours to bed then, so to speak’ he teased as you gasped quietly, catching onto the double meaning in his words.
You didn’t want to stop talking but soon enough the pair of you were yawning your heads off and you had to say goodbye. Going to bed with a massive smile on your face even if you did miss him as soon as the call ended.
The next morning you woke up to a cute good morning text from Mason. Reminding you that last night wasn’t a dream and Mason was real and gorgeous and as funny as ever. Spending all day texting and flirting until you thought you’d get in trouble for being on your phone too much at work but soon enough you were at dinner with your friends before your big night out.
You all caught up about what you’d been up to lately, making sure you left out the last 24 hours as you were unsure about what they would say but thankfully you were able to keep it under wraps until you were in the queue for the club.
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‘Are you alright?’ Your best friend Rose asked, looking at you with a slight smile. ‘You’ve got the weirdest look on your face’
‘What do you mean?’ You laughed, stuffing your phone into your pocket before looking up at the three of them.
‘I don't know, like, nervous almost. You’ve got your little scary smirk on’ Rose laughed and you rolled your eyes at her words. For some reason whenever you were nervous or scared your instincts made you want to laugh so it was no wonder you couldn’t keep the smile off your face knowing Mason was so close by.
‘Look if I tell you, I need you to be cool about it yeah?’ You told the three of them. Pulling them all further into you a little bit so hopefully no one else could hear before swallowing down a gulp and spilling your guts. ‘I matched with a guy on that app and he’s just text me saying he’s here’
‘God y/n, I thought it was something serious then’ Kimmy laughed, as the others shook their heads with a smile.
‘No you don’t get it, we matched yesterday’ you confessed, watching their eyes go wide and you knew then you couldn’t tell them you’d already spoken to him on the phone.
‘Oh wait, is he some sort of weird stalker? Do you wanna go?’ Sam asked as they all looked to move but you were quick to stop them.
‘No no’ you laughed, grabbing her wrist. ‘He’s not a stalker, I don’t think he is at least anyway and I know I sound insane cause I’ve known him 24 hours but we really connected and I’m just a bit nervous to maybe see him’
‘Is he cute?’ Rose asked, eyebrows wiggling in your direction but you just bit your lip and nodded.
‘Well let’s get you inside as quick as we can, I’m making it my mission to get you some tonight’ she told you and you rolled your eyes at her playfully. Thankful they weren’t making too much of a big deal out of it.
You weren’t in the queue much longer, getting yourself in and over to the bar as quickly as you could so you could get some drinks down you but no matter what you drunk your nerves seemed to make the alcohol not work and you felt the same as usual.
You gave it an hour in the end, knowing it would be best to just see him and get it over with so you grabbed your phone and texted him, thinking he wouldn’t see it for a while but to your surprise he text you back straight away.
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As soon as you sent the last text you tummy dropped. A sick and nervous feeling settling into your skin as you shakily got up from your table and made your way to the bar. The girls letting you know they were keeping their eye on you and to just wave at them if you didn’t feel safe.
Thankfully there was a seat right at the end of the bar, your legs not being able to hold you steady as the nerves fully kicked in. The drinks and shots you’d been downing for courage may as of well have just been water as you felt stone cold sober. Heart pounding in your ears as your breathing began to speed up so you kept your fingers tapping on the bar, your head facing forwards so you didn’t accidentally catch a glimpse of him and be tempted to run.
It felt like he was taking a lifetime, wondering if he’d walked in, saw you and turned around as he hadn’t liked what he’d seen but just as you were about to look over to your girls you felt a hand on your lower back and Mason's voice by your ear.
‘Y/n?’
In a flash your eyes were looking up and into his. Even in the dark lighting you wanted to drown in them and all you could think about was the fact his pictures didn’t do him justice.
He was quite possibly the prettiest man you’d ever seen in your life. The fluorescent lights of the club accented the freckles across his perfect nose and his lips looked plump and kissable. You knew you needed to speak but he’d left you speechless so you snapped yourself out of it so you could try and speak to him properly.
‘H-hi Mason’ you stuttered, finally getting to see his smile in person and you thought you might melt on the spot. The twinkle in his eye making your tummy flip and you weren’t sure if it were possible to be around him for too long as he was so overwhelming.
‘Hey, you alright?’
‘Yeah, you?’ You asked, watching his smile grow as he caught onto how nervous you were.
‘Better now’ he winked, his face getting closer to yours so he could hear you a bit better. ‘It’s kinda loud down here. I’m upstairs, do you wanna join me?’ He asked, his eyes flickering over your body before coming back up to look at your face.
‘I’ve never been upstairs before’ you told him, realising how stupid you must have sounded but upstairs was vip and almost impossible to get into. ‘guess I need to get used to that with you though huh?’ You teased and you watched his cheeks flush ever so slightly in what looked like embarrassment.
‘Well we can change that if you want. You can grab your friends too, I don’t want it to look like I’m kidnapping you’ he laughed but you wouldn’t have minded if he had at this point. The fact he was constantly trying to make you comfortable warmed your heart too so without a second thought you sent him a nod. His smile making your heart flutter as you felt your own lips mirror it.
‘I’ll just get them, one sec’ you told him, walking off to get them and you knew his eyes were on your legs and bum in the tight dress you had on.
You gathered the girls quickly, telling them you were all going upstairs and you could read the excitement on their faces. Quickly following you back over to him where they all shared a quick hello before he led the way out.
‘Take my hand, so we don’t get separated’ he told you, linking your fingers together as soon as you gingerly placed your hand in his before he sent a wink in your direction and pulled you with him to the vip area.
The bouncer let you all through immediately, rounding the corner to a large staircase where he pulled you in next to him.
‘Ladies first’ he smiled, gesturing for the others to go up before you and once you were finally at the top you watched the three of them make their way straight to the dance floor leaving you and Mason alone again.
‘Can I get you a drink?’ He smiled, pulling you along to the bar and you nodded at him furiously, knowing you needed something to pep you up a bit.
‘Yes please, I think the alcohol downstairs is broken. I don't feel any different’ you told him. Hearing his laugh tickle your ears as a sense of pride washed through you knowing you’d made him laugh.
Once you got to the bar, you felt his arm snake around your body, pulling you into his side and once he saw you were comfortable with his proximity he pulled you in front of him, sandwiching you in between his front and the bar and soon enough you felt his hands settle on your hips.
‘Is this okay?’ He asked, lips right by your ear as he spoke and you knew you were turning redder by the second. In the end you just nodded as he squeezed your waist. ‘What would you like to drink, love?’
You were barely able to get out your order, his scent intoxicating you as he relayed your order to the waiter before you went and grabbed a seat together. Close enough to his friends so that he could point them out but not close enough that they could hear what you were saying. Sitting close enough to each other so that your thighs touched before he planted his hand on your knee making your mouth go dry instantly.
It was a little awkward for the first ten minutes or so, both of you blushing and stumbling your way though the conversation but the more you spoke, the closer you became. His arm now around your shoulder and his hand on your thigh as you giggled about how scared you both were to see each other for the first time but now you felt like you did on the phone last night. It felt intimate and like you were the only two in the room. Faces creeping closer and closer together until you could feel his breath on your cheek but it was his friends eyeing the pair of you up across the room that made you not want to push things any further.
‘Mason? Why do you friends keep looking at us weird?’ You asked, his eyes flicking over to them so they’d look away before he was looking back at you.
‘Just ignore them’ he told you, rolling his eyes as if he were annoyed at them before turning you to him a little more so you couldn’t see them as well.
‘I’m gonna go to the loo quickly’ you told him. Standing up and shuffling passed him so you could make your way to the bathroom and you felt his eyes on you the whole time. Chancing a quick look back at him to find him already looking at you and you couldn’t help but giggle as you walked away. Thankfully your makeup was still intact and your hair still looked good so you felt alright enough to go back out but when you made it back to your seat Mason was nowhere to be found.
He wasn’t far though. Stood next to his friend as they spoke intensely so you creeped over and stood behind the wall nearby so you could listen in but not let them see you. Eager to know what they were talking about.
‘Mate, can you stop looking at her like that? You’re making her feel uncomfortable’ Mason told him, his voice serious and you heard a huff come from the other boy before he spoke.
‘I’m sorry mate, but you know you shouldn’t be-‘
‘No, we’re not doing this’ Mason interrupted. Shutting down whatever his friend was about to say. ‘Look I know what I’m doing, just back off’ he told him and you weren’t sure you wanted to listen anymore so you wandered back over to the bar but not even two minutes later you felt his hands on your waist from behind. Pulling you back into his body before he nestled his face into your neck. ‘Hey, I’ve been looking for you’
‘You found me’ you smiled, but he could tell your voice seemed a little off so he pulled back, spinning you around to face him before stepping closer to you so you were trapped between him and the bar again only this time you were facing him.
‘Hey, what’s up?’ One hand on your lower back as the other tilted your face up to look at him. Even though you had practically been sat in his lap for the better part of an hour this was the closest you’d been all night. He was smiling at you softly and you couldn’t help but rest your cheek in his palm as his soft eyes captured yours. ‘Y/n? What is it?’
‘Your friend doesn’t like me, does he?’ You asked and you watched his face fall before you carried on. ‘Why shouldn’t you be talking to me?’
‘It’s not you, babe. He’s just a bit protective’ he told you. The pet name making you want to smile so you pursed your lips. He knew what you were doing straight away so he quickly pinched your cheek to make you laugh before wrapping his other arm around your waist so he could pull you closer to his body and the only thing you could do was rest your hands on his chest. ‘I think it’s cause we only started talking yesterday and he thinks I’m being a bit reckless’
‘It is a bit nuts when you say it like that’
‘I know’ he laughed, lips falling on your forehead so he could press a quick kiss there and you felt every hair on your skin stand up. ‘It's weird like, I feel like I know you already. You don’t feel like a stranger to me’
‘I feel like that too’
‘Yeah?’ He asked, his nose bumping yours lightly and you knew it wouldn’t take much to reach up and kiss him. ‘Maybe we’re moving too quickly but I can’t get enough of you. Every second I’m with you I just want more’ he confessed as you reached up to cup his jaw lightly.
‘Mason?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Kiss me’ You whispered, taking the plunge to ask as you knew you were both dancing around the subject and all you wanted was to feel him against you.
You saw an unreadable emotion flash through his eyes. Nerves maybe? Or something else? You weren’t sure but it was gone as soon as it came. Watching his tongue poke out from between his lips so he could wet them slightly before he started to lean down.
You were no angel, you’d kissed a fair few strangers on nights out before but you this was different. A tingle running from the top of your head and all the way down your spine to your core as he brushed his lips against yours softly. Pulling back for just a beat before diving right back in to kiss you even harder.
The way he gripped your waist so tightly before wrapping his arms around you fully made you feel oddly safe. Like being this close to him was right where you were supposed to be and you couldn’t help but smile onto his lips. Butterflies swarming your body as the touch of him made you weak.
‘Damn’ he laughed, letting you tuck your face into his neck as you held each other for a few moments before you noticed Rose frantically waving at you from over Mason's shoulder.
‘I think the girls need me’ you laughed, watching Mason whip round to see what you were looking at before looking back at you with a cheeky smile.
‘I’ll wait for you here, yeah?’ He whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead before pulling back again. ‘I feel bad, I kinda stole you tonight’
‘You can steal me whenever you like’ you winked, kissing his neck lightly as you felt him shiver. ‘I think I should dance some of this alcohol off as well’
‘Don’t want you making any bad decisions huh?’ He teased, pinching your bum before realising you. ‘Take your time I’ll be here’
You joined the girls on the dance floor, the three of them surrounding you and asking you a million questions but you just blushed and stumbled your way through all of them.
‘Bestie, just go home with him. You know you want to’ Sam laughed as you tried to hide your face in embarrassment.
‘He’s been undressing you with his eyes all night and you clearly like him. Let the man have some, it’s just sex’ Rose added in and you knew she was right. The whole reason the pair of you spoke in the first place was for some fun, you just didn’t know it would be happening this quickly.
The girls left shortly after, making you turn your location on so they could keep an eye on you and you made your way back to Mason and his friends. The one who’d been speaking about you before sending you a soft smile but you knew there was something else behind it.
‘Where are you friends?’ Mason asked, pulling you into his lap and wrapping his arm around you.
‘They left about five minutes ago’
‘Oh yeah?’ He laughed. ‘So I’ve finally got you all to myself huh?’ He murmured into your neck but you were ready to take the plunge now and get what you wanted.
‘How about you come home with me so you can really have me all to yourself’ you teased, watching his eyes light up before he buried his face in your neck.
‘Are you sure?’ he whispered just below your ear. Kissing your neck lightly and you knew there was no way you were leaving without him now.
‘I’m sure’ you shuddered, feeling his hands squeeze your waist before dropping a heavy kiss on your lips.
‘Grab your coat babe, you’ve pulled’ he teased. Grabbing his own things as you made your way back downstairs to get your stuff from the cloakroom. Meeting him back upstairs so he could take you out a secret way as you ordered an Uber back to yours.
You’d barely been inside five minutes and he was on you. Kissing you like he might never kiss you again as he slowly undressed you with wide eyes. Every touch of his fingertips felt like fire as he devoured you and you couldn’t seem to keep your hands off of each other.
You let him touch and kiss wherever he pleased and for just sex you were surprised at how intimate it was. His dark eyes drinking you in before staring longingly into yours as he made you see stars. Again feeling that pull to him just like always and you didn’t want to let him go ever again.
The next morning Mason was awake before you, laying on his back as he looked up at the ceiling and you could tell he was in his own little world so you just laid and waited for him to realise you were awake.
Soon enough he was looking over to you. A soft smile on his face as you locked eyes and your heart thumped in your chest. It had been a while since you’d woken up next to a boy and you weren’t sure what you were doing but soon enough he was reaching for you. Tucking you under his arm and into his chest so he could press a kiss to your forehead but you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking something was off.
‘Is everything okay, Mason?’
‘Yeah, of course’ he told you softly. Pulling back to look at you and the expression on his face made you melt. ‘I’m waking up next to a beautiful woman, what could be better?’ he joked and you nuzzled into his chest a bit more as you smiled. ‘You got plans today’
‘Nah, just having a tidy up I think. You?’
‘I’ve got some stuff to sort this afternoon, but maybe I could buy you breakfast first?’ He offered and you nodded furiously into his chest at the thought of spending more time with him.
So he ordered the pair of you some food and you ate it in bed in just your underwear as you spoke about all that had happened in the last few days. Still not really believing he was in front of you and in your bed but soon after you’d eaten he was ready to make you believe again. Whimpering his name into the air as he buried his face between your thighs.
You didn't see him after that night until a few weeks later. During that time his messages became few and far between but you figured he may not have been a texting person so you let it slide as you were still learning about each other and how this whole thing would work. You’d both said it was only a bit of fun but unfortunately for you, you’d become a little too attached too quickly.
You were beginning to loose hope a little bit when you hadn’t heard from him for two days but all of a sudden he sent you an offer you couldn’t refuse.
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You still remember the look on his face when you caught eyes in the restaurant. His whole expression lighting up as a look of relief washed over him and you melted into his arms as he held you. Pressing a kiss to your temple before you sat down across from him.
It felt like picking up just where you left off, him holding your hand over the table as he hung off your every word. Smiling shyly at you as his eyes raked over your figure and even in public your need for him grew.
It was almost like he could see it in your eyes so after the bill was paid, you asked if he fancied coming back to yours for a nightcap and you were glad that he accepted straight away. Barely letting you shut the front door before he pulled you for a heated kiss that made your knees weak and it only hit you then how much you missed him these past few weeks.
You’d said it yourselves, you were only looking for a little bit of fun but you craved him like you’d never done anyone else. You wanted to drown in those big brown eyes every second he looked at you and with every kiss over your naked skin your need for him multiplied.
He knew exactly how to take care of you, knowing your body like a book he’d read a thousand times before and he cherished every page like it was the first time he’d seen it. Reacting to every noise you made with his sole focus on making you feel as good as humanly possible. But it was a two way street and as much as he overwhelmed and consumed you, you knew you were making him feel just as good.
‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve missed you’ you told him quietly, your mouth running away with you as you came down from your highs but the small giggle you heard from next to you made you smile. Mason's fingers threading through yours gently as you looked at him and his smile made your heart race.
‘We’ll don’t take this the wrong way either, but I missed you too’
‘Could have fooled me’ you chuckled, watching his face fall slightly before he pulled you onto his chest so he could hold your jaw and look at you properly.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that’ you told him, shaking your head at yourself as you felt like you’d ruined things with your silly backhanded comment but he still had a small smile playing on his lips and you knew he hadn't taken too much offence to it.
‘I know I’m not the best at texting but that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about you’ he told you softly. Kissing your temple before looking back at you again. ‘I can show you again if you like’ he laughed, hand trailing down your neck to your chest and when you felt his thumb run over your nipple you couldn’t help but let out a soft moan.
‘Nah you’re alright’ you laughed, watching his face fall slightly before he smiled, realising you were only joking as he shook his head at you like he wasn’t best pleased with your joke and you knew he was about to bite back.
‘Oh shut up’
‘Make me’ you whispered, watching his eyes turn dark instantly before he dipped his head. Claiming your lips with his own and swallowing the moan that erupted from your throat as he trailed his hand back up to your neck and gave it a gentle squeeze.
So you let him show you again.
And a couple of weeks after that you let him show you once more. Him sticking around for a day extra that time and even though he was giving you no reason to worry, there was something in the back of your mind that concerned you. He came into your life so suddenly each time and was gone again in a flash so you told yourself next time he popped up you were going to have a proper conversation with him and say your piece. Thankfully he was right on time, texting you again a few days later and your tummy erupted in butterflies as his name flashed up on your phone.
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He was over in the next 15 minutes, joining you under the blanket before diving into your m&m’s and it felt like you’d never been apart. Blushing as he pressed a loving kiss to your forehead but the look on your face must have prompted him to speak as a shy look took over his face.
‘I need to be honest with it about something’ he gulped, fingers trailing over his face like he did when he was nervous. ‘I know you’re not looking for a relationship or whatever but I still need to tell you’
‘What is it?’ You questioned, not liking the way he mentioned about you not wanting a relationship as the dread sunk into you.
‘I know you can tell something is a little off with me, coming and going like anything and it’s not fair to keep you in the dark. I… I have a girlfriend’ he gulped, eyes shooting to the floor. ‘Well not right now I don’t but… it’s complicated’
His words hit you like a slap to the face. A girlfriend? But how? None of it made sense but the icky feeling of being the other woman soon took over as you pulled away from him.
‘Are you cheating on her… with me?’
‘No no wait, it’s not like that at all’ he told you, turning to face you so he could explain a little better. Reaching for your hands and against your better judgement you let him hold them. ‘We’re not together right now, yeah? Haven’t been for a little while, I promise. I’d never do that to you, or anyone. I’m not a cheater, I just…’
‘What?’
‘It’s complicated and I know it’s not healthy but we’re on and off again like you wouldn’t believe. It’s the same pattern all the time, she breaks up with me over nothing and ignores me for a few days. I worry myself sick cause I don’t know what she’s doing or who she’s with and when she’s finally over her strop I go crawling back with my tail between my legs’
‘Well that doesn’t sound fun at all’ you pouted, a little bit of sympathy seeping its way in but you were still confused and a little hurt by the fact he’d kept this from you.
‘Its not. And I know I should just end it once and for all but… I don’t know, it’s like I can’t. I love her’
You couldn’t deny it stung a little to hear him say he loved another girl after you’d slept with him multiple times but you understood. You both said you were just looking for a bit of fun so the fact he’s got some weird relationship on the side shouldn’t have bothered you too much but it really did. He’d kept it from you from the start and you had so many unanswered questions swirling around in your brain.
‘I know none of this is fair on you and now I’ve dragged you into this weird thing so I’m sorry’
‘Do you ever think of me, when you’re with her?’ You asked, your mouth tumbling out questions before you really knew what you wanted to say but the sad look on his face was making your heart break.
‘Sometimes’ he admitted quietly and you didn’t know what to think. ‘A lot, actually. Things are different with you, you feel like a warm blanket when she’s left me out in the cold. I just got sick and tired of worrying and waiting for her to decide to come back that’s all’
‘Why do you keep going back?’
‘I’m not even sure at this point’ he laughed, resting his head on the back of the sofa and you followed suit so you could lean back next to him. Both looking at each other as he began to open up to you. ‘We’re childhood sweethearts. She's my first everything like she’s all I’ve ever known and we’ve fallen into the most ridiculous pattern but I can’t make it stop. Trust me I’ve tried. It’s exhausting I swear but you do weird things when you love someone’
‘Is she good to you, when you’re together?’ You questioned, trying to get to the bottom of why he kept going back to her but as soon as you asked you realised you didn’t want to know.
‘She’s perfect at first, but it never lasts that long. It’s like I’m addicted to that high of when we get back together that I just roll with the punches now’ he confessed and your heart broke for him. ‘I just wanted to be honest with you. I know I haven’t been and I’m sorry’
‘Well I appreciate you telling me’ you sighed . Thinking this was it and he was letting you down gently but when you felt his hand on your cheek you looked up at him with wide eyes.
‘I know it’s selfish, and I know I shouldn’t but I want to keep you in my life still. If you’re okay with that?’
‘Oh I’m… Mase I’m not sure-‘
‘Please, I can’t not have you around. I feel like you’re meant to be in my life, like I feel different around you. I feel myself, you know?‘
You felt it too. You felt yourself around him and you wanted to be selfish and keep him in your life so against your better judgement you felt yourself nodding in agreement.
‘We can just take it day by day and see how we feel’ you nodded. Knowing you were setting yourself up for a fall but something inside of you didn’t want to let him go.
‘Yeah okay, like it’s still early days, but I’d really like for us to be friends at least’ he smiled. The word friends breaking your heart a tiny bit as they fell from his lips but you soldiered on. Smiling and nodding like you were fine with all of it.
‘Can I ask you something else?’ You whispered. Things clicking into place the more you thought about them and since he seemed to be being honest with you so you felt like you could ask him more.
‘Anything’
‘Your friend that first night? When he said we shouldn’t be talking it wasn’t because we were rushing things was it? It was because of her’
‘No that’s not completely true’ he told you. Picking your hand up so he could play with your fingers while he spoke. ‘She was part of it yeah but he really did think it was nuts we only matched the day before’
‘Have you done this before? Seen other girls in between’
‘Never, I swear. You’re the second person I’ve ever slept with in my life.’ he told you, looking straight into your eyes and this time you believed him. ‘Wait one sec’ he told you. Reaching for his phone so he could pull up his emails before pulling you into his chest so you could see ‘See? This is my registration email for that app’ he explained, pointing to the time and date and you saw it was the day you first spoke around about an hour before you matched. ‘You’re the only girl I spoke to on there too’ he laughed. Opening the app up so you could check his inbox and to your surprise you were the only profile there. ‘Do you believe me?’
‘I believe you’ you sighed. Looking up into his eyes as his flickered all over your face before landing on your lips. You felt awful but you ached for him. Wanting to look past everything he’d just said and throw yourself at him so you could feel him like you’d wanted to for days. And to your surprise he seemed to be thinking exactly the same.
You knew you shouldn’t, but when he lent forward to kiss you, you let him. Sighing into his mouth as he kissed you softly before you pulled back. Foreheads touching as you looked down into your lap.
‘We can’t’
‘I know’ he sighed, bringing you into his chest so he could just hold you ‘I don’t wanna stop’ he told you earnestly. ‘But I get it. If you’re not comfortable sleeping together anymore that’s fine but I can’t not be around you’
‘Mase, I don’t know’ you gulped, suddenly thinking everything through. Not sure if you were able to be around him now when you knew what you wanted from him but his puppy dog eyes were making it hard to resist him.
‘I just need a friend, please’ he told you and you could feel yourself getting wrapped around his finger. You didn't want to be his shoulder to cry on but in this moment that’s all you could ever be.
‘Oh Mase’ you pouted. Threading your fingers through his before he rested his head on your shoulder. ‘I guess we can be friends. But no more sex yeah? Even when you are on a break’
‘Okay’ he nodded sadly, knowing it was the right choice but also knowing he still wanted you.
Your little routine continued, him doing the disappearing acting before showing up unannounced and you still remember the first time he tried to act coy about it but as the pair of you sunk down into your sofa you knew you had to address the elephant in the room.
‘Mason it’s fine, I know the drill. You can just tell me if you were with her last week’ you mumbled and you felt him sigh next to you before placing his head on your shoulder.
‘I was with her’ he told you quietly. His words slicing through you but you acted like it had no effect on you. You were friends and you promised you’d be there for him no matter what.
‘And?’
‘Rinse and repeat. She’s thrown me out again’
You didn’t respond. Not really knowing what to say as on one hand you were happy you had him back but you knew it wouldn't last long.
You weren't sure if it was helping, now you knew where he was spending the time he had away from you. Learning that Mason and his girlfriend, Robin, did in fact live together but Mason had a flat of his own he’d stay in whenever he needed to. You both agreed on never going there though just in case she turned up unannounced and each time he wanted to see you, he’d show up at your door.
Now you weren’t sleeping together and were just friends, you took a different route on how you spent your time together. Making him hot chocolate and feeding him biscuits as you let him vent. Telling you what crazy reason she had that time to kick him out from not putting the kettle back in its base properly to staying behind at training a little longer and forgetting to text her about it.
He never seemed bothered when he first got to you though. Always excited to see you and wrap you up in his arms and every time his chocolate eyes looked into yours you felt your resolve cracking a little more. You were friends and that’s what you had agreed on but you couldn’t deny there was still that same level of attraction and pull to one another.
You always wanted to touch him and kiss him. Always were thinking about him and wanting him with you as you did the most mundane tasks and as time went on you seemed to be spending more time together as his and Robin's disagreements became more frequent.
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You knew it was probably the last thing you should be doing but you missed him and wanted to grill him about what had happened this time so whilst he was on the way over you quickly freshened up just in time for him to ring your buzzer.
‘Hello trouble’ he beamed, taking you into his arms so he could hold you tightly and you couldn't stop yourself from squeezing him back. You’d missed him more than you thought and the kiss he pressed to your cheek made you shiver. ‘Missed you’
‘Missed you too’ you told him quietly and you really had. He’d cancelled on you the week before after he promised he was on his way. Leaving you to drink two cups of hot chocolate yourself but he was here this time and you hated how relieved you felt.
It was around the sixth time he’d walked away from her that something changed. He came over just like usual and you made him something to eat as you sat and spoke about why she’d chucked him out this time but the way he was with you was slowly evolving as he placed his hand on your knee and rubbed his thumb across it
‘What’s this you’re watching?’
‘It’s a documentary about twin flames’
‘What a twin flame?’
‘It’s basically another word for a soulmate. Someone you have a deep connection with that can’t really be explained. Like they’re your person and you feel this pull to them. You’re meant to spend your life with them, like their your one’ you told him. Watching a cheeky smile spread across his face and you knew what he was about to say before he’d even said it.
‘So like us then?’
‘Well considering this is about a cult that ruined a load of people’s lives I hope not’ you laughed, trying to push him words away as they made you feel strange but he just wrapped an arm around you as he kissed your cheek. Pulling you further into his lap so you could be closer.
Each time he’d seen you he pushed it a little more, holding your hand, kissing your cheek and making cheeky comments to try and make you blush but he was extra touchy tonight. And you couldn’t say you weren’t enjoying the attention.
‘Can I have a cuddle please? A proper one’ he pouted and you knew what he meant instantly. You knew it was risky but the selfish part of you wanted to feel close to him so you did what he wanted. Lying down on your sofa before patting your chest and he climbed on top of you like an excited puppy. Resting his head in your neck as he wrapped his arms around you, his weight slightly crushing you but you didn’t mind. One arm around his shoulders as the other reached into his hair to scratch over his scalp.
‘That better?’ You asked, feeling him hum in satisfaction as he nestled himself into you even further and you wondered if he could hear your heart pounding in your chest with how close he was. Feeling his skin press against yours after so long felt comforting and exciting at the same time and you couldn’t help but reach down as press a kiss to his temple.
‘I always feel better with you’ he whispered, his lips moving against your neck making you shiver and you knew he felt it. Feeling his smile brush against you before he took the plunge and placed a gentle kiss to your neck.
You were turned on instantly, a shaky breath falling from your lips before you could stop it and you knew he could tell how much he was affecting you with one simple kiss.
So he didn’t stop. Gently sucking on your sweet spot as he littered your skin with kisses, but it was the way he pressed his crotch into your core that had you trembling.
‘Mase’ you whimpered. Tugging on his hair gently but this just caused I’m to growl into your neck before kneeling up so he could look you in the eyes.
‘Please, gorgeous. Please let me have you’ he begged quietly, eyes wide and dark as he dragged his bottom lip through his teeth. ‘I’ve been so good and I’ve kept my hands to myself for so long but I need you now baby, please’
You froze, not wanting to say no but knowing what saying yes meant and he took your lack of objection to mean he could touch you. One hand sneaking under your shirt to touch your bare waist and your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling. He was being so gentle with you, teasing you just the way you liked before his fingers travelled to your pj shorts. Reaching up the leg and pulling them to the side but as soon as his touch landed on your underwear you froze. Eyes meeting his immediately as he ceased his movements.
‘Tell me to stop and I will’ he uttered, but you both knew there was no going back so you shook your head ever so slightly to let him know it was fine to carry on and it only took a beat for him to move his fingers again. Stroking your folds over your underwear and the sensation was driving you insane. Bucking your hips up gently into his hand to let him know you needed more and he was happy to oblige.
His hands moved to your thighs, spreading them out so he could access you a bit easier before his fingers were back over your core. Resuming his movements before dipping his fingers past the hem of your underwear so he could touch you properly.
You gasped at the contact, his fingers feeling like magic after so long and you shut your eyes again before you felt him move to hover over you. His forehead resting on yours as you both stared into each other's eyes and the intensity made you shiver.
‘Don’t close your eyes baby, look at me’ he whispered, fingers pulsing inside of you as he spoke and you whimpered at the sound of his voice. ‘I’ve missed this, missed having you like this’
You couldn't deny you’d missed him too, but there was a reason why you hadn’t been intimate with him for the last few months. He was making you feel too good right in this second though to think about anything else and when you felt his bulge press against your thigh you knew you couldn’t wait any longer.
‘Masey please’
‘What is it, sweetheart?’ He asked, voice soft and slightly playful. You knew he knew what you wanted but he wanted you to ask for it. Threading your fingers through his hair so you could pull his face down and into your neck before finally telling him what he wanted to hear.
‘Fuck me, Mase’ you whispered in his ear, feeling him shudder at your words before a low growl fell from his lips.
‘Good girl’
So he did what you asked, taking his time to re explore your body before holding your hands above your head as he drove himself into you. Each thrust feeling better than the last until you were whimpering his name through your high. Letting him collapse onto your naked body before you both erupted into giggles and even though you knew you should have stopped him, you let him kiss you softly.
‘Sorry, I know we said no more sex but I can’t not have you, pretty girl’ he whispered, lips peppering soft kisses over your cheeks as you blushed at his words. ‘I’m so fucking obsessed with you’
‘Well that’s worrying’
‘Yeah, I’d get some sort of restraining order in place if I were you’ he teased, lips trailing back to your neck again and the sensation made you squirm in delight. ‘Such a good girl for me. You want me again?’
You could feel him already hard against your leg again and against your better judgement for the second time that evening you nodded against his lips. Swallowing his small chuckle at your neediness as you kissed him deeply again, the rules you’d set yourself to protect your heart thrown out the window as you let Mason do with you as he pleased.
Even though he would remind you that he was technically single, you knew it was wrong to fall back into the routine of sleeping together. Knowing he’d be off soon after, leaving you more hurt than you realised each time but you took it because being with him felt so good.
That was until you’d clearly let him get too comfortable and he began to walk all over you. Cancelling plans at the drop of a hat, always being on his phone around you as he constantly texted someone with a smile on his face and you were unsure if it was Robin or someone else he’d met but it still hurt just the same.
The real kicker came when you were looking at the menu for a restaurant Sam had sent you and Mason had caught sight of it over your shoulder. Questioning you where it was and when you explained it was somewhere you’d always wanted to try he promised to take you soon however two nights later you saw the pap pictures of him leaving the very same restaurant with Robin.
You felt crushed, that was your special place that you’d introduced him to and now it was ruined for you. No longer wanting to go there or speak to him for a while so when he text you the next day you left him on read.
You gave in though, like you always did. Mason explaining a few days later when he’d showed up at your door unannounced that she had caught him trying to book a table for the pair of you and he’d panicked and told her it was for her. Telling you he’d take you soon but you no longer cared for it and he knew he’d messed up that time. Being extra soft with you that night as he tried to show you how much he cared for you without any words.
As the weeks went on, you were starting to feel like he kept you around just for sex. Coming and going as he pleased as he knew you’d never deny him and give him what he wanted but a cheeky glance at your phone would prove otherwise eventually.
‘Why do you still have that app?’
‘What app?’
‘The dating app we met on. Why do you still have it downloaded’ he questioned, his tone full of anger and jealousy but in all honesty you’d just forgotten to delete it. You hadn’t been back on it since you’d got Mason's number but he didn’t need to know that.
‘Why wouldn’t I have it? I’m single, remember?’
‘I beg to differ’ he scoffed, knowing he’d crossed a line with his words but he held firm. ‘Delete it please’
‘No, why should I?’
‘Cause I don’t like the thought of you having it on there’
‘Well I’ll be honest Mase, I don’t give a shit what you don't like the thought of. You know where to go if you think differently’ you shrugged, hoping he’d drop the subject and move on but to your surprise he picked his stuff up and walked out your front door without another word. Slamming the door on the way out.
You didn't see him again for a week or so. Knowing he was probably with her whilst you two were sort of mad at each other was making you feel weird so you did what you could to distract yourself. Shopping dates and dinners with your girls and today you had a lunch date with Rose. Filling each other in about what you’d been up to lately but you kept all thoughts about Mason in the back of your mind until Rose left you to pop to the loo.
‘Fancy seeing you here’ you heard, Mason's voice ringing in your ears as the shock ripped through you as you looked up to him. His hand resting on your shoulder with a cheeky smirk plastered over his face.
‘Mason? What are you doing here?’
‘Just had a game of golf with Woody over the road’ he told you, head bobbing in the direction of where he’d just come from. ‘Why are you here?’
‘Late lunch with a friend’
‘Friend? Or date?’
‘Why does it matter? You have a girlfriend Mason’ you told him. Watching his face drop momentarily before his sly smile returned.
‘It doesn’t I guess’ he shrugged but you knew what he meant by that. It didn't matter to him if you were on a date because he knew you’d be crawling back to him as soon as he clicked his fingers and the realisation hit you like a truck. ‘Like you said, you’re single. I have to get going but I’ll text you yeah’ he smiled, dropping a kiss to the top of your head and walking away before you could say anything.
You managed to perk yourself back up before Rose got back. Quickly asking for the bill so she could rush off back to work yet when the waitress came you weren’t expecting her to let you know the bill had been fully paid for and you were free to go.
You knew who had paid instantly. Slight anger rolling through you as you know he’d only done it as he thought you were on a date and was trying to prove a point to you and whoever you were with so you sent him a quick text to let him realise how silly and possessive he’d been.
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You felt bad about the last line, but you stood by it. Your whole relationship was him getting his own way and you knew you’d hit a nerve as he never text you back after that.
You were miserable, stuck in this weird middle ground with him where he could never be yours and you knew what you had to do when he eventually came over that evening even though you didn’t want to. His cheeky smile and soft touches had left a mark on you but it wasn't just that. Yeah the sex was great and you always felt a pull to him but you liked him as just Mason. The silly cheeky guy who never failed to make you laugh or brighten your day with just a text.
At least that was how you felt about him once anyway.
He texted you letting you know he’d be over soon so you busied yourself. Putting your dishes away and giving the place a quick hoover but you knew you were doing anything to just not think about what was about to happen.
This felt like make or break for you and him. You didn’t want to be his bit on the side anymore and you were done trying to comfort him through a situation he had full control over. Yes you both went into this knowing it was a bit of fun but things had changed and you were ready to put yourself first. Either he gave you all of him or you were done. Plain and simple.
The sound of your buzzer going filled you with dread.
You opened the door for him, standing off to the side and slightly behind the door so he couldn’t get to you in any way and you could tell he was confused by your standoffishness.
‘You okay?’ he asked, his brows pinched together like he was unsure of what was going on so you nodded at him before walking into your living room and sitting in the armchair so he couldn’t sit next to you
‘Mason I think we should talk’ you told him. Wanting to get in first so you could get your point across but he was looking back at you in confusion.
‘What is it?’
‘I want us to stop seeing each other’
‘What? No I don’t want that’ he explained, his voice and face becoming hard but you tried not to look at him. Knowing it would just make you change your mind. ‘I’m sorry for last week, yeah? It just caught me off guard but I don’t want us to stop’
‘I’m really unhappy, Mason’ you told him truthfully. Watching his face soften ever so slightly as he was clearly disappointed he’d made you upset so you dropped your eyes to the floor so you couldn’t let his emotions influence you. ‘I didn’t ask to be in the middle of you and her and I’m stopping it before it goes any further’
‘What do you want me to do?’ He offered, sounding desperate and you could see he wanted to get closer to you so wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to block him out.
‘I don’t want you to do anything. I’m just trying to protect myself and if you’re carrying on with her then I’m out’ you told him, your eyes flickering up to read his expression and he looked even sadder than before. ‘Cause I bet she doesn’t know about me does she? I bet you have to lie to her when you come and see me’
‘Well technically no. Whenever I come here me and here aren’t on speaking terms so there’s no point’ he huffed but you just rolled your eyes at him. Hating the way he always had an answer for everything. ‘But that’s besides the point, none of that matters anymore cause you’re not in the middle of anything’
‘What do you mean?’
‘That’s why I came over here, to tell you I’ve had enough and I just want you’ he told you softly before his big brown eyes were looking up into yours. His bottom lip wobbling as he tried to swallow down his tears and you felt awful instantly. ‘I can’t keep putting myself through this every other week, it’s stupid. Not to mention you, I’m so sorry for dragging you into this’
‘Are you really not going back?’ You whimpered, tears flooding your eyes at what he might be hinting at but you waited to let him speak to explain properly.
‘When I went home after seeing you today she kicked off about some event she’s going to tonight and I just can’t do it anymore’ he told you, shaking his head as he held a hand out to you. ‘Please come here’
You did as he asked, taking his hand before sitting in his lap so you could hold each other tightly and the overwhelming need to apologise flooded you.
‘Sorry Mase, I had no idea I just-‘
‘Shh, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for, okay? I’m the sorry one. I should've never let it get to this point’
As much as you agreed with him, you also had your part to play and before you knew it you were about to admit something you never thought you would. ‘I need to tell you something’
‘What is it babe?’ He asked, pulling away from you so he could look into your eyes and the soft look on his face melted you.
‘I think I like you’ you whispered, a look of shock on his face as your words sunk in. ‘Like, like like you, you know?’ You laughed, watching his eyes brighten as you tried to make light of the situation and you could see your favourite smile returning to his face. ‘I know I shouldn’t and I know this was never the plan but I do really like you and it kills me everytime you go back to her’ you explained. Your voice breaking at the end as you got emotional but his hand on your cheek brought you back to look at him. ‘But I don’t want to be in the middle of whatever weird game you and her have going on. How she’s making you feel is how I’m feeling and I don’t like it’
‘I never meant for that to happen I swear’ he breathed, kissing your forehead as he smiled sweetly at you. ‘You have no fucking idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that’ he laughed, pressing a light kiss to your cheek now but you were left slightly confused. ‘I like you too’
‘Really?’
‘Of course’ he laughed, pulling you tighter to his body as he nestled his face into your neck. ‘All this time I’ve been going back to her to try and get the feeling I always get when I’m with you’ he confessed ‘this just makes it more final for me you know? I’m done messing you around okay, I want you to be mine’
‘Good, cause I wanna be yours’ you laughed, cupping his jaw so you could stroke his cheek and lean down to kiss him properly. It was a kiss full of relief as you gently brushed your lips together after being apart for so long. One full of promises of better times ahead now you were both free to be with each other and you spent a little time talking things through before eventually landing on the topic of seeing each other earlier that day.
‘I know it’s stupid but after last week with the app and then today, I thought you were with someone else and I couldn’t take it. You’re mine okay?’ He confessed and you couldn’t help but let a small chuckle pass through your lips.
‘Ah, so you were jealous’
‘Incredibly so’ he laughed, not caring how he sounded. ‘And I felt stupid as fuck when you text me after and it was Rose. Like it really hit home then that i don’t want anyone else to have you. But I’m not being fair letting someone else have me’
‘I can’t believe we’ve finally got here’ you laughed. Disbelief laced through your voice as he looked up at you shyly. ‘You really want this then?’ You asked, watching him pick up your hands so he could kiss along your knuckles and you felt your heart thump at the sweet gesture. Loving that he couldn’t seem to keep his lips away from you.
‘Of course I do’ he laughed, pressing a gentle kiss to your nose that made you shiver. ‘Being with her, it’s shit. She’s fucking awful to me but I’m stuck in this weird toxic cycle we’re I she says jump and I say how high. But it’s always been different with you’ he confessed, his voice gentle but certain and you couldn't stop smiling. ‘That night we matched and we spoke on the phone for the first time, she’d ended things two days before. I told myself I was done and I was gonna get her out of my system so I went on that app with all the intentions of just finding a girl to sleep with but…’
‘But what?’
‘But I met you, and… I’ve never felt like that before. I just couldn’t get enough of you so yeah when you said you were going out the next night I convinced my friends to go there so I could see you’ he admitted shyly causing you to laugh. ‘You took my fucking breath away, you know that? I couldn’t stop myself from touching you cause I felt like if I didn’t then I couldn't survive. That first time I slept with you, I was expecting to feel shit. I was expecting to be thinking about her but I didn’t. Not for one second’ He told you, eyes all over your face as he was spilling his guts. ‘And all I’ve thought about is you ever since. You make me feel alive when I’ve been walking round like a zombie for years’
You couldn’t speak, his words turning you into a mess so you did the only thing you wanted to do with Mason and leaned into him for a kiss. You didn’t stop this time though, letting him claim you fully once more after so long but this felt different to every other time. It was soft and loving and he repeatedly reminded you that you were his and he was yours and you swore you’d never heard anything so beautiful before.
You laid there for hours, spilling your guts about how you’d missed each other and how excited you were to start fresh. Hands never leaving each other's bodies as well as your lips but when he went to check his phone after it kept vibrating you saw his face drop. Writing out a quick text before coming back to join you but you knew something had changed about him. He was antsy and quiet and constantly checking his phone before standing up and reaching for his clothes.
‘Listen, I’ve got to head home yeah? But I’ll text you in bit and I’ll come see you tomorrow okay?’ He told you, throwing his hoodie over his head and you felt an awful feeling settling in your tummy.
‘Oh um, where are you going?’ You asked, not content with letting him go without an explanation and you could read the guilty look on his face from a mile away.
‘I need to sort something out’ he shrugged but you knew him better than he thought and you knew all the warning signs. Thinking over everything he’d told you tonight and you knew you had to say something now to avoid more heartbreak down the line.
‘Mason I don’t believe you’
‘What? Why not?’ He laughed. Stuffing himself into his shoes as he grabbed his keys but his nonchalance was angering you.
‘Cause this whole night you haven't actually said it’s definitely over with her and now you’re just leaving so suddenly. Why can’t you just tell me where you’re going?’
‘Babe, i…‘
‘Tell me it’s over Mason’ you asked but he stood there just looking at you. Not able to speak so you probed him again. Knowing if you pushed him he’d spill and he looked on the verge of tears. ‘Mason please-‘
‘I can’t’ he whispered, cutting you off as you felt your heart shatter. ‘I have to go’
You let him walk to the front door in silence, quickly chucking on some underwear and a shirt and following him to the door where he was zipping up his coat and you knew you had to be firm with him this time.
‘You walk out the door Mason I promise you, I won’t let you back in’ you told him firmly. Watching his hand rest on the handle but he made no attempt to move it.
‘Y/n don’t do this’
‘You’re the one leaving not me’
‘You don’t understand’
‘No see I understand all of it’ you told him. Hands balled into fists as you tried to convey how you were feeling to him. ‘You’re doing to me what she does to you after you promised you wouldn’t and I won’t stand for it anymore. So I’ll tell you again. You leave Mason and I won’t let you back in’
You didn’t give him a chance to say anything else. Walking back into the living room so you could sit on your sofa in hopes he’d follow you but when you heard the door shut and silence after you knew he’d left.
You tried holding it in, you really did but you were crushed. You’d fallen for his lies again and let him back in, ignoring all the red flags that now appeared so glaringly obvious and you cursed yourself for being so stupid. Letting yourself have an ugly cry into your pillows as you curled into a ball.
It was never meant to end like this. Mason was only ever meant to be someone to have fun with but you’d known from the second you’d seen him he was going to be special to you. Like your souls knew each other already and once they’d found one another he’d set up home in your heart. That’s why you let him treat you how he had, doing whatever it took so you could call him yours even just for a night here and there but you couldn’t let it carry on and hurt yourself like you were right now.
You didn’t hear from him that night, constantly checking your phone through your tears to see if he’d texted you but each time you were met with a blank screen. Feeling more and more hopeless as time went on until you’d exhausted yourself and you fell asleep.
Thankfully the next morning you had nowhere you needed to be and after checking your phone to find nothing from him still, your misery turned to anger. Suddenly wanting to know who this girl was that he couldn’t keep away from as you’d done everything in your power to ignore that part of his life and after some careful digging you managed to find her instagram. Your heart stopping at the first post you clicked on
Robin_xo
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Robin_xo It’s a forever thing 🩷
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You knew it was him from the first picture. The hoodie being the same one he wore last night and as you scrolled to the next picture your heart sank even more. The same trousers and trainers as yesterday too and you didn’t even want to scroll to the last picture but you did.
There he was, head tucked into her neck as they lay in bed together and you felt sick at the sight of them. Only a few hours before these pictures had been taken he’d been with you telling you that you were his one and you felt the rage slowly start to ripple through you. You felt like an idiot and you refused to be part of his little game anymore.
He may not have the guts to leave her but you were stronger than him and you could walk away from this any time.
You picked your phone up again, blocking his number, blocking his social media and even blocking him on the dating app where you’d first met him just in case he was desperate enough to try you there. Making sure he had no way of getting to you if he tried so you could have a clean break and move on even if the prospect of being without him felt hopeless.
Over the next few days you were able to pull yourself together, the first days being rough but you got yourself back into a routine and had started to perk up by the end of the week.
Your heart still hurt though, wanting nothing more than to unblock him from everything and invite him over but you knew as soon as you looked into his eyes, that had had you from the start, then the gaping hole he left would ache even more.
You didn’t want to be around anyone, choosing to spend your Saturday night wrapped up in a blanket as you fed yourself your favourite snacks. Doing everything you could to stop your mind thinking of other things and you hadn’t felt this settled in a while.
The pounding on your door came as a complete shock to you and the force of it made you jump. You knew it was him instantly but you were determined to ignore him until he went away. You’d told him you wouldn’t let him back in if he came back and you’d half been expecting it at some point but not this quickly.
‘Y/n? Babe you in there?’ You suddenly heard, Mason sticking his fingers through the letterbox of your front door so he could shout directly in and the sound of his loud voice frightened you a little bit. ‘Baby please speak to me. I know I’ve fucked it but please let me in’
You heard the letter box snap shut, hoping that he thought you weren’t in and after a few moments you stood up and rounded the corner into your hallway so you could make sure he was gone. But as soon as you got close you saw it open again, jumping to the side and out the way so you could hide just next to the door and out of sight but you knew it was all in vain.
‘I saw your legs, I know you're there’ he called, shutting the post box back up but it wasn’t for long. Watching it open again as he jammed his fingers through as you were frozen in place. ‘If you don’t wanna let me in then fine, but can you at least unblock me so I can call you. I look like a mad man shouting in the street like this’ he told you and you knew he was right.
You knew he was causing a scene and soon enough your neighbours would be wondering what was happening but you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear him out yet. Even just the sound of his voice now was making you feel uneasy but you knew Mason and you knew he’d sit out there until you spoke to him no matter how long it took.
Against your better judgement you unblocked his number and sent him a quick text to let him know he could call you but you only did it so you could tell him to go away and when you saw his picture flash up to show he was calling, you gulped down a nervous lump before hitting accept.
‘Baby please-‘
‘No’ you sniffed, knowing if he explained you’d be right back under his thumb and you were tired of all of it. ‘I'm not listening, I only unblocked you so I could tell you to leave me alone. All I’ve done is think about what you need and I've hurt myself in the process. I’m done talking about this please just go’
‘No I’m not going. I’m sorry but no you have to hear me out’ he countered, hearing him take a seat on your front step as you contemplated if unblocking him was the right choice.
‘I gave you your chance Mason and you blew it. I’m not opening up and letting you back in just for you to run back to her. I poured my heart out to you and you still went back’
‘Baby, please. I’m not going anywhere this time I promise’ he told you his voice pained but when you didn’t answer him you heard the back of his head thud on the door before you heard some shuffling. ‘I mean it, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll sit out here forever if I have to’
‘Mason I’m sorry, you’ve done this too many times I can’t’ you cried, feeling yourself getting overwhelmed at the fact he wouldn’t go and you couldn’t help but let out a few small sobs. ‘You don’t want me’
‘Of course I do-‘
‘No you don’t, you’re just petrified of being alone so you’re latching onto whoever you can’ you wailed. ‘You’re being selfish and I can’t do it anymore’
‘Please don’t cry. Not when I’m stuck out here and can’t do anything to help’ he pleaded, sounding more and more desperate as the moments went on. ‘Tell me what to do. What can I do to fix this? We’re meant to be together baby, can’t you see?’
‘I used to be able to but you’re hurting me Mason. Everything you do fucking hurts’ you sobbed. Trying to make him feel as awful as possible and from the sound of his breathing on the other end it was working. He sounded wrecked but you were ready to stick the knife in a few more times for good measure. ‘Do you know how hard it is to wake up every morning and know you’re waking up next to her, when you should be with me? It fucking sucks Mason, I hate it’
‘I’m sorry baby-‘
‘No you’re not sorry. I’m sick of being second place okay, I’m done’
‘There is no second place, you’re all there is yeah? you’re my one I promise’
You wanted to believe him. To throw the door open and hurl yourself into his arms but you stayed put. He’d done this to you too many times and you didn’t have it in you to watch him walk away from you again so you kept him out no matter how much it was hurting you both. It would be better for you in the long run to end things here and move on.
‘I bared my soul to you Mason and I thought you’d done the same. I thought we were finally getting somewhere but you’ve never wanted me from the start and now I need you to go’
‘Baby please-‘
‘No Mase! Please just go, please!’ you begged him, hoping he’d take the hint before you hung up on him as you couldn’t take listening to him anymore. He’d hurt you more than anyone else had and the sound of him trying to make things right was just hurting you even more.
‘Okay okay, I’m going’ he told you. His voice raw and full of tears and you could hear him standing up outside. ‘I’m going okay but I’m not giving up. I’m not giving up on us baby so just please please dont block me again and I’ll prove to you I’m serious okay? I’m serious about you’
You didn’t reply, fresh out of words to give him and you hoped your silence was enough for him to get the picture but unfortunately for you he still had more to say.
‘I’ll leave you alone okay, I know my word means nothing to you right now but I’ll make this up to you. I’ll text you on Monday and we’ll figure something out, just promise me you won’t block me’
You didn’t want to make him any promises and you were also unsure as to whether you were going to keep him unblocked so you kept silent again. Hoping he’d get the hint you were done talking to him.
‘Okay well… I’m off then. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Bye baby’ he whispered, waiting a beat to see if you’d reply but when you didn’t he finally hung up.
You didn’t know how he did it, but the urge to throw your door open and go chasing after him was itching just below your skin. You kept yourself rooted to the floor though, waiting for the sound of his car to start and drive away before you picked yourself up off the floor and took yourself back to the sofa.
Where do I go from here? You wondered. Face falling into your hands and you silently wept. You would love to give Mason another chance as you knew deep down in your soul he was your person but even if that was the case it didn’t give him the right to treat you how he had been.
You always prided yourself on sticking to your guns and being firm but when it came to Mason you’d thrown it all out of the window. Doing anything you could to keep him close and you wondered if giving him one more chance would even be worth it.
The rest of the weekend passed you by in a blur. Going to visit your parents on Sunday as you needed some comfort but as soon as you got home the wallowing hole that Mason left in chest started to hurt. He kept to his word and didn’t text you that day but at 8am on the dot on Monday there he was. The sight of his text on your phone making your mouth go dry and you opened it cautiously feeling like as soon as you did he’d pop out from somewhere.
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It still hurt hearing from him, but you were glad he wasn’t after a response cause you didn’t have one to give to him right now. Your heart was hurting as you told yourself you wouldn’t let him get anywhere near you again but here he was.
The thought ran across your mind of just blocking him again and being done with it. Hoping he would get the hint and leave you alone but you knew that would never happen. And what if he was telling the truth? Was it really over with her? Was he finally free from whatever spell she had him under and could he one day be fully yours?
Your curiosity eventually got the better of you, pulling up Robins instagram again and you were shocked to find that any trace of Mason was now gone. Even carefully scrolling down the rest of her feed to find the cute pictures of them as teenagers had vanished also and even though you didn’t want to be one of those girls you checked her followers and following to find him missing from both lists.
You knew it was only small but it was something. Something to show he was serious and now all you were left wondering was if he had it in him to put the work in to win you back.
But work in for it he did.
Each day a new text would come through at 8am sharp and whilst for the first few days you were unsure and still a little bit sad, it became part of your routine than you expected. You were still sad about what happened and didn’t know if you had it in you to let Mason back in but he was really trying and with each new text that you left unanswered your resolve was chipping away more and more.
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It wasn't just him saying good morning that made your heart defrost a little bit, it was the making sure you had a proper coat and umbrella with you and the cheesy jokes to make you smile. Never once missing a day or sending you one late and over the coming weeks you felt the need to reply grow. Even typing out a few replies sometimes but you chickened out at sending them. Knowing it would open to the floodgates for you to talk and you didn’t know if you were ready yet.
So you kept things one sided for a few weeks, finding yourself anticipating what he might say to you next whilst trying to keep up with where he was. Wanting to watch his stories but not be caught out but in the end you just went for it knowing the amount of people that see meant he’d never realise you did too.
That was until five weeks had passed and you woke up one day to a blank screen. No silly joke, no letting you know what coat you needed or even a simple hello.
You didn’t know what to do or what to think. You were so used to hearing from him now that being woken up to nothing left an unfamiliar feeling in your tummy. Had something happened to him? Or had he simply given up? Tired of trying with you every day to get nothing back and it was in that moment you realised that’s not what you wanted. You knew you were always going to give in eventually no matter how much you told yourself you wouldn’t but now you were unsure as to what to do.
You decided to leave it for a few hours. Giving yourself a deadline of 2pm and if he hadn’t spoken to you by that time then you’d send him a message in hopes he’d reply and as soon as the clock struck two you hit send.
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Now you’d replied, the sudden realisation of what you were going to say if he got back to you flashed through your mind. Wondering if you should make him work for it a little bit more but you realised there was no point. It had been over a month since you’d left him sitting on your steps outside and you missed him more and more as each day passed.
The pair of you needed to thrash it out and start fresh rather than let this drag on any longer than needed so you thought about what you wanted to say to him when he replied and when your phone buzzed around half an hour later you picked it up excitedly in hopes he wasn’t mad at you or had given up.
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You were filled with giddy excitement, knowing he wasn’t mad at you but his phone was dead and you felt like a huge weight had been lifted as you finally admitted you missed him. You were done with playing games with him and dragging anything out
The rest of the day dragged, antsy to get home and speak to Mason but you’d agreed to have dinner with a colleague and didn’t want to appear rude. Thankfully they had issues with their babysitter so you got away at a reasonable time and were able to hop in the shower and get ready for bed just in time to text Mason and let him know you were ready for him.
He read the message straight away but it took around five minutes for him to actually call you. Your heart in your throat as his picture came up and with shaky hands you clicked accept and readied yourself to talk to him.
‘Hello?’
‘Hey’ he answered, a sigh of relief pouring from him and he spoke and the butterflies swarmed in your tummy as you listened to the sound of his voice in what felt like the first time in forever. ‘You alright?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine. You?’
‘Yeah I’m good’ he told you softly, closing your eyes as a wave of emotion rippled over you. ‘I’ve missed your voice’
You couldn’t stop the quiet sob that fell from your lips at his confession. You missed his voice too but you didn’t want to admit it to him right now.
‘Please don’t get upset’ he whispered. Concern filling his voice as he listened to you struggling to hold it together. ‘Please baby, cause I might do something drastic’ he joked, feeling the laughter bubble up and out of you before you could stop it and it’s like you could feel him smiling down the phone.
‘Oh yeah? Like what?’
‘Whatever you want, I’ll do it’ he told you seriously. ‘I mean it, whatever you want from me to make you happy, I’ll do it’
‘I asked you to leave me alone, you didn’t do that’
‘Cause I know we’d both be miserable in the long run’ he told you pointedly and you had to reluctantly agree. You had been miserable for so long but this felt like a bit of a turning point.
You kept the conversation light, letting each other know what you’d been up to lately and you could feel yourself slipping back into the same headspace as when you first met. Hanging on his every word as he made you laugh and the itch to see him was slowly growing.
‘This feels a bit like old times huh?’ You smiled. ‘You know, like the first night we matched? we’ve come full circle a bit’
‘I still remember that call’ he whispered ‘I knew I was fucked as soon as I heard your voice’ he laughed, hearing him moving around so he could get comfortable and it made you miss him even more. You wanted to get comfortable in his arms so he could hold you together. ‘Do you think I can see you soon?’
‘I think so, yeah’ you told him quietly, Mason giving no response to you but you could feel his smile down the phone. ‘Mason?’
‘Yes baby’ he answered, your tummy flipping at the sound of the pet name again. He’d called it a million times before but this felt different. It felt real.
‘Is it really over with her’
‘I promise, it’s done’ he told you sincerely and you believed him straight away. ‘Whatever you need for me to prove it to you I will okay’
‘I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you-‘
‘No it’s not that, but I've messed up and I need to prove myself. I’ve not given you anything to trust but I can change that and I will’ he told you pointedly.
‘What happened, Mase? Why did you go?’ You asked tearily before hearing him let out a sigh.
‘When I came here that night, I was serious about ending things. But she’s all I’ve ever really known so when she asked if I could come back and see her I only went because I'm weak. I don’t really have an excuse I just panicked but I knew I’d messed up straight away and then I saw she put that fucking post up. I told her to take it down and I tried to text you but they weren’t delivering and when I called you it was going straight to voicemail. I even tried messaging you on the bloody app but you weren’t coming up so I logged out and then when I searched again you came up’ he sighed. ‘I knew then I’d lost you so I really tried with her for a few days but you’re always on my mind. It's like I’d look at her but I’d just be wishing I was looking at you, pretending you were next to me and no matter what I did that never went away. I don’t feel for her what I feel for you, don’t think I ever have really and I knew I had to break the cycle with her. We loved each other but we just didn’t like each other anymore’
‘How do you know that won't happen to us?’ you asked quietly. Not sure you could ever not like Mason even after everything but if it could happen to him and his childhood sweetheart then what chance did you have?
‘I can’t make you any promises baby, but I just have this feeling you know? Me and her hurting each other was a routine, when we weren’t shouting at each other then it didn’t feel right. It’s almost like we took pleasure in making the other miserable but knowing I’d hurt you, that absolutely broke me’ he told you. His voice wobbling at the end as his emotions got the better of him and that was all it took for you to get upset yourself. Small sobs that you’d tried to keep at bay now battling their way to their surface and you knew Mason heard them straight away.
‘Please don’t cry love’ he whispered and you could hear him sitting up in bed like he was trying to hear you better.
‘Sorry-‘
‘No no don’t be sorry’ he interrupted, his voice full of sorrow. ‘I just hate that I can’t do anything’
‘It’s fine, I’ll be alright’ you told him but clearly you weren’t convincing enough as you heard him get out of bed on the other end.
‘No I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m coming over okay?’
‘You don’t have to, I’ll be fine in a minute’
‘No I do. If you don’t want me to come then I won’t but I can’t be so far away knowing you’re upset’
You didn’t want him being far away anymore either and the prospect of being close to him for a little bit sounding more enticing by the second and before you knew it your mouth was running away with you.
‘There’s a spare key under the plant pot’
‘I’ll be ten minutes okay? Just stay where you are’ he told you and you could hear him rustling around on the other end.
‘Okay’ You choked and after a quick goodbye he was gone.
You tried to calm yourself down a bit. Sitting yourself up in bed to try and stop the tears but no matter what they kept flowing and the anticipation of seeing Mason was making you feel sick.
You heard your front door open, gathering yourself together so you could try and calm down some more. Switching the lamp on beside you but as soon as he burst through the door you felt yourself breaking down again.
He was rushing over to you in an instant and you let him hold you to his chest. Tucking your face in his neck as his scent overtook you and you felt yourself melting into his embrace.
‘Shhhhh it’s okay. It’s okay baby I’m here now. I've got you yeah?’ He whispered. Rocking you back and forth to soothe you but all you could do was cry your little broken heart out once more. Gripping his hoodie with your fists like he might disappear but he was there and he was real. His fingers slowly rubbing over your scalp as he tried to calm you down but all you could feel was his own breathing becoming more ragged as he got emotional himself.
The pair of you couldn’t seem to separate, holding each other as tightly as you could as you cried out all of your pain. Him rubbing your back gently to try and soothe you but it was his comforting smell that relaxed you more than anything. Letting it engulf you as you squeezed him tighter before pulling back to look at him.
‘Please don’t cry anymore beautiful’ he whispered, gently wiping the last few tears from under your eyes and you gently reached out to wipe the tears away from his own face. The need to have him tell you face to face it was finally over being the only thing on your mind as you knew you’d be able to read him so without a second thought you cupped his face and smiled as he rested his cheek in your palm.
‘Is it really done?’
‘It’s done baby’ he nodded, and you knew he was being honest. ‘Last time I was here, when I sat outside, as soon as I left I went and got my stuff and I haven’t seen or spoken to her since’
‘Really?’
‘I promise. And you know what? I feel so relieved. Like huge weights off my shoulders cause I know it’s really done and it’s over’ he told you, unable to stop himself pressing a soft kiss to your forehead and you shivered at his touch before wrapping your arms around him again.
‘Look at me’ he whispered, pulling back so the pair of you could look at each other and even though he looked the saddest you’d ever seen him his eyes looked less troubled and you felt your heart settle. ‘Even if you really are done with me and this is it, then I just want you to know I’ll always be grateful for you, you know? Things have been different with you from the start in the best way possible and I can’t even begin to describe it. I just feel drawn to you, we’re like magnets. Like maybe it sounds stupid but it’s like our souls are connected. I know you said it was a cult but you’re my twin flame baby’ he laughed, making you roll your eyes at his attempt at a joke but your smile mirrored his before he got serious again.
‘You made me see how unhealthy everything was and I’ve never felt more complete than when I’m with you. You make me feel safe and you feel like home. Like when I’m with you my mind finally switches off and I know everything’s alright. Meeting you changed everything for me but I get that I may have pushed you too far’
‘I’m not done with you’ you told him. Watching his face relax as your words sunk in. Knowing you felt the exact same as him and that’s why you’d been holding on to him for so long. ‘I really almost was but I can’t keep away’
‘I���ll make things right i promise’ he breathed, his voice strained as he tried to hold himself together and even though he was clearly emotional you were ready to set down some ground rules.
‘If we do this, we do it my way alright?’
‘I’ll do whatever you want, i promise you’
‘I need time okay. I’m not saying we have to keep apart like we have been but I’d like for us to take it slow and make sure this is really what we want. I can’t get hurt like this again Mase’
‘I know, and I never would again, yeah? But we can go at whatever pace you like’ he told you and you couldn’t stop the smile taking over your face at his words. You knew he was being serious and the way he started smiling because you were made your heart thump, letting him pull you in closer as he cupped your jaw. ‘I missed you so much’ he whispered, kissing your head gently. ‘But I also missed who I was when I’m around you. You bring out the best parts of me. You make me want to be better, to do better, I want to be good for you, you know?. I couldn't have done it without you, I didn’t even want to do it for myself but I- I care about you so much’ he confessed.
You couldn’t speak, his sweet words rendering you speechless so you did the only thing you could think of to show him you felt the same. Leaning forward to softly capture his lips and you could tell he was shocked. Freezing ever so slightly before he melted into you and kissed you back.
You’d missed his kisses more than anything, the way just a simple touch of his lips on yours had the power to relax you like they did and you wanted to feel even closer to him than you currently were so you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and let him pull you further into his body.
Neither of you tried to take anything further, content with just feeling each other after what felt like too long apart and even when you tried to pull away he chased your lips so he could kiss you again before you couldn’t stop smiling. Foreheads resting against each others so you could still be close and it was only when he bumped his nose against yours gently that you found the courage to look at him.
‘That was unexpected’ he smiled, making you laugh out of embarrassment a little bit but he kissed your cheeks to let you know it was fine.
‘What happens now, Mase?’
‘What do you want to happen?’
‘A fresh start?’ You smiled, causing him to nod at you shyly. ‘I don’t wanna hold onto any anger or use anything against each other or anything like that. I just want us to be together and be happy. Just the two of us’
‘I want that too, more than anything’ he confirmed. ‘like I never wanna make you sad ever again, it kills me knowing how I’ve made you feel. I really would do anything to make this work, baby. I wanna grow with you and laugh with you and make you happy, yeah? Never wanna see you cry again’
‘I don’t think I’ve got anymore tears left’ you laughed, pulling him back into a hug and your heart fluttered at the way he clung to you. Stroking your back as he hid in your neck and you relished in the comfortable silence.
‘She knows about you’ he told you suddenly. His voice was so quiet you almost didn’t hear him but when you pulled back he must have sensed your uneasiness and carried on to reassure you. ‘Not everything, like she doesn’t know who you are but when I told her I wasn’t coming back this time she asked if there was someone else. She’d had her suspicions for a while but I just told her I’ve got a very good friend who I don't wanna just be friends with anymore. And that I love her enough to give her everything she wants and not keep hurting her because we can’t figure our shit out’
‘Love?’ You breathed. Wondering if the word had slipped out by accident but he nodded his head to let you know that’s what he meant to say.
‘Don’t worry, you don’t have to say it. It just needed you to know’ he told you softly. Thumb stroking your cheek as he gazed down at you adoringly. ‘You still give me butterflies, you know that? just like you did the first time I saw you. They’ve never gone away and I don’t think they ever will’
‘Oh Mase’ you whispered. So overwhelmed by everything he’d told you tonight you didn’t know where to start. You just wanted to hold him and kiss him and let him know you were going to be okay so you did just that. Kissing him softly before you pulled each other into your arms.
It felt like a dream, sitting there quietly and content with him as you just held each other together. Focusing on each other's breathing as you melted even closer together and you wished you could stay like this in his arms forever.
‘I’ll head off soon, yeah?’ He whispered into your hair, hands stroking your back lightly but you pulled away with a pout before he tucked some hair behind your ear. Smiling softly at you as you looked at him in disappointment.
‘Do you have to?’
‘I thought you wanted to take it slow?’
‘I do, but not tonight’ you huffed. ‘I need you here tonight’
‘Oh yeah? Need me here to do what?’ He asked, his voice getting a little more cheeky but he knew you didn’t mean it like that.
‘Hold me’ you whispered, watching his face soften before pressing another kiss to your cheek.
‘Come on, I’ve got you’ he whispered, the pair of you getting comfortable under the covers and you shivered as his thumbs stroked over your waist lightly. ‘You know, I wished I would of known there was a key under the plant pot when I was sat outside freezing my balls off a few weeks ago’
‘Trust me you wouldn’t have wanted to see me then’ you chuckled. ‘I was ready to tear you a new one’
‘I would have taken it’ he smiled, pulling you into his body a little further. ‘But I think it was better I gave you some space for a little while’
‘What about the constant texts?’
‘Don’t lie, you loved them. I know you were waiting everyday to see what I had to say next’
‘The animal facts were my favourite’
‘Oh yeah? Well I’ve got a load saved up for you’ he told you. The pair of you giggling like school kids but the wide eyed look on his face made your tummy flutter and when he lent down to kiss your cheek softly you could feel the blush spreading over them. ‘I know you wanna take things slow but I’m so excited to do all our firsts together again’ he told you softly, and you looked up at him with a confused expression.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You know like, tomorrow will be the first morning I get to wake up next to you and not feel weird about it. And I’m gonna take you out on a first date, a real one and I'll take you wherever you want. And then you can come stay with me for the first time and I’ll show you off to my family when you’re ready’ he told you excitedly. ‘Does that all sound okay?’
‘That sounds perfect’ you laughed, loving how excited he seemed knowing he’d get to do all these things with you again
‘As much as I’d love to stay up all night yapping with you, you need some sleep baby’
‘You’ll be here when I wake up, won’t you?’
‘Of course I will’ he reassured you and after a quick kiss good night you got settled on his chest.
‘Hey, Mase?’ You whispered after a few minutes, knowing you should trying to sleep but there was something you wanted to tell him before you did.
‘Yeah?’
‘I’ve deleted that app’ you told him. Feeling his chest rumble under you as he laughed before placing a soft kiss to your hairline.
‘Me too’ he whispered. ‘Does this mean you’re not single now?’
‘Almost’
‘I can work with that’ he told you quietly, kissing your forehead softly as you snuggled yourself into his chest even more.
Were things perfect? No
Were they salvageable? Yes
If you would have asked yourself that question a few weeks ago then you might have had a very different answer but laying in Mason's arms right now and the promise of a fresh start when you woke up in the morning being only hours away made you realised that he would always be worth it. That you hadn’t just chosen him but the universe had picked you for each other and whilst life was never simple, you knew you’d never be lonely again.
Thank you so so much for taking the time to read this 🩷 I’d love it if you could send me some feedback to let me know what you think 😘
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someonegoood · 1 month
Text
MY WHOLE LIFE pt. 1 ✫ mason mount
part 1, part 2, final part.
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in which you have a fat crush on your brother’s best friend, without getting much success. (brother’s best friends troop).
CONTAINS: brother’s best friend troop, angst & fluff ! age gap, arguments...
AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is my first work here but anyways i hope you guys like it ! maybe I'll do a part 2...
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You watch proudly in his shirt as you clap in the game's first minutes, chanting while taking pictures of him.
The first half was pretty equal, with some shots from both teams but neither could score. You could see that Mason was getting nervous. He stopped his movements abruptly when the referee called for a corner and looked at the crowd, his eyes sparkling with tenseness.
He gazed down at where his family (and therefore also yours) was and licked his lips. You couldn't help but wonder what would your brother think of your little —huge— crush on his childhood best friend.
In the 34th minute, he passed the defenders and tried to score with a pass from Ben Chilwell, making the goalkeeper lose his balance and thus scoring.
You celebrated the goal screaming it to your brother's face and he couldn’t help but smile at you, happy that you were having a good time. Your cheeks were red after Mason approached the stands and celebrated the goal, dedicating a kiss to where you were.
And that was the effect that Mason Mount had on people, especially you.
Mason was your brother's best friend, you had known him for years. It was a stupid crush that all your friends grew out of but not you. You had to keep drooling every time he was near you, that being almost every day because your brother had him over to dinner nearly every night.
You remember the day the Mount family moved next to your house, a loud and proud British family— Debbie and Tony, Stacey, Lewis and Mason. The day after they had moved in, Debbie and Tony turned up outside your door, asking if your older brother was interested in playing football with Mason.
It didn’t take long for your brother to become close to Mason, both at the cusp of boyhood. Their friendship only bloomed from there.
After spending almost every weekend watching your brother and Mason training, to spending most afternoons around the Mount house playing, you felt like family.
You always found yourself drawn to the boy next door although he was away a lot of the time, playing different matches and training. Mason’s natural affinity and talent for the game, ensured the quality of his skills.
He was slightly older so no doubt he found you childish and would always moan when his parents made him spend time with you.
—Mom, not again! I don't want to play with her, she's boring! —Mason exclaimed with an expression of obvious annoyance on his face.
Mason's mother was the first to figure out your crush on the boy. She first noticed it when you joined the Mounts at a family dinner when you were around thirteen.
Both families were playing football, as usual, while the adults were preparing supper. When you had the ball you felt your body lean way too far back and Mason tried to act on impulse, stretching his body to catch you in time.
—Hold on to me! —Mason exclaimed, extending his arms towards you. However, the weight of the fall was too much, and in an instant, they were both on the grass, in some sort of mess.
—Mase, God, I'm so sorry! I dragged you with me! —you apologized, feeling the blood rise to your cheeks, turning them crimson red.
He brushed the grass off his jacket with an angry expression. —Well done. First minutes into the game and you're already annoying.
—Thanks for trying! —you laughed, shyly. When there was a long silence, you realized that Mason was not joking and was serious. —Sorry, I…
Debbie looked from afar at the little girl carefully while she kept her eyes glued to her son's. She watched her cute little cheeks tinted red as Mason scoffed and begged you to stay away from him.
Debbie would soon get used to it as she watched you fall in love with her son over the next few years.
Until your first boyfriend. An age difference of three years was not a big deal since it was a common factor among your friend's partners. You had recently turned sixteen years old and you thought that you had met the boy who could take you out of the charm that had her wrapped around Mase.
Lyon was older, he was eighteen years old, like Mason. You had met him at school on a spring afternoon. You walked through the school hallways, books clutched to your chest. A gust of wind caused some of the books to fly out of your hands, scattering them across the hallway floor.
Lyon was passing by and noticed the scene. He approached you with a smile and that is how the story started.
Your brother didn't approve of your new boyfriend. He knew that her sister just wanted to show his best friend that the age difference wasn't that important.
Being with Lyon was great at first. You knew that he was not the love of your life, but for the moment he seemed to play the role quite well, so that was fine with you. It was a Friday night and you and your brother were at a party at the house of one of your brother's friends.
You were downstairs in the kitchen while your friends watched you drink alcohol like there was no tomorrow. They realized something was bothering you, but decided not to mention it.
—Where is the lover boy anyway? —Spoke one of your friends.
Your lack of response was when they realized that Lyon was the reason for the sadness that was painted on their best friend's face. He abandoned you, once again. This seems routine, they thought.
You slammed your empty red glass against the kitchen counter, wiping the drip from your chin as you decided that was enough.
—I'll go look for him.
From the corner of the room, your brother wished you good luck and with courage, you stumbled through the party. The house was huge. Enormous windows covered the entire house. From the kitchen window you could see the river of lights going down to the beach.
And there he sat, on the stairs leading to the illuminated outdoor pool, Lyon. A thin blonde girl was sitting on his lap, probably older than you. She took the cigarette from Lyon's lips and placed it on top of her painted red lips.
Tears welled in your eyes as you returned to the house with your heels in hand. With all the bad luck in the world, as you returned, you heard in the background:
—Baby, relax. —You ignored your boyfriend's call as you made your way through the crowd to return to the kitchen, hoping that your brother was still there.
You made it to the kitchen before your boyfriend grabbed you by the back of your arm and pushed you against the kitchen island.
—Come on, I didn't even do anything—
—She was on your lap.
—It's not that serious, okay?—
—It's a big problem! I'm humiliated! —You shouted back, creating a scene you desperately wanted to avoid. Lyon's grip tightened around your arm as he tried to wriggle out of your grasp.
—Let go of me, you're hurting me. —That only made his grip tighten around your arms.
—Let her go, mate. —Your vision was too blurry to focus on what happened next, but you felt Lyon back away.
—Oh yeah?… and what are you going to do about it, Mount? —That's when the punches were thrown and Lyon was left hunched over holding his split lip. Your now ex-boyfriend was grabbed by someone else before he could lunge at who you assumed was your brother, but when you turned your head you saw Mason shaking your hand out of pain.
His knuckles were red and his eyes were darker than what you were used to.
—Let's go to the car. —Said Mason, you nodding your head. —Get in the car. —He said. His tone was strong, not what she was used to.
Still, the ride to your house was silent, you sitting in the front with Mase, while your brother passed out in the back seat. Faint English music played on the radio as Mason's eyes were firmly fixed on the road.
Mason finally spoke. —You really don't know how to choose them, don’t you? — You could only sob again, unable to answer him mainly because he was right and you were ashamed. When the car stopped, he unbuckled his seat belt and murmured that he would walk you to your door.
Mase rocked on his heels as he watched the moonlight highlight the tear-stained cheeks of his best friend's sister. He thought you looked beautiful that night even though you had been crying for the last half hour, your hair hadn't been brushed, and you were digging through your purse like crazy.
Although he would never admit it.
—I got them! —You laughed, waving your keys in the air before bumping your nose with the keychain. You paused as you pushed the key into the door, turning to look Mason in the eye for the first time since the party.
—Thank you. —Mason didn't want to hear it. You were just her best friend’s sister.
—It's no big deal. —
—No… really thank you, Mason. —you smiled and Mason listened too, mainly because it was probably the first time you had called him Mason and not Mase.
After a moment, you dropped your bag to the floor and wrapped your arms around the boy's waist, your head resting on his chest as he quickly moved his hand and rubbed your back.
—Just... make sure the next one isn't a complete idiot, yeah? —he whispered, his chin resting on the top of your head.
That sentence broke your poor little heart.
353 notes · View notes
s6lars · 4 months
Text
⋆ ˚。⋆ 📂 pedri crashes an interview…
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slightly suggestive, a little pedri x reporter!reader moment. inspired by this moment between iker casillas and his then gf after spain won the world cup. let's pretend barca wins the cl. enjoy!
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"Can we get one more player to interview?"
Your producer's voice rings through the earpiece, prompting you to push it deeper to hear better.
The thunderous roars from the humongous crowd bleeds through the tunnels of Wembley Stadium, still persisting hours after the full-time whistle blew the moment Barcelona became champions of Europe.
"Come again?" you reply.
"One more player. Get them in front of the mic."
Jules Koundé and Fermin Lopéz had stopped by for an interview earlier, but clearly that wasn't enough for your producer or the show. Standing on your tiptoes, you scan the busy yet lively atmosphere of the tunnels — crowded, upbeat, slightly cramped, and filled with a persistent tone of chatter from the tens of reporters present.
It doesn’t look like any new players would emerge from the dressing rooms, at least not for a while. You were just about to inform your producer about it when you see your boyfriend walking into the room, nudging his way through the crowd.
Pedri González in all his glory, sporting the signature blue and red kit, beads of sweat in his hair and the rosey blush splayed across his face. The calls of reporters grew as they tried to get his attention, but once his honey brown eyes met yours, it was only you who he was drawn to.
He makes the proud walk to your booth, the shiny Champions League medal dangling on his neck, gleaming under the lights. Pedri's smile grows with every step, happily ignoring the twenty or so other reporters calling his name.
"Hey baby," Pedri coos, hands naturally wrapping around your figure. Your body tenses for a moment at the PDA — it doesn't go unnoticed by him, swiftly releasing you from his embrace.
Although your relationship had been long public by now, this the first time your worlds have crossed professionally (ironic, given that you were a sports reporter, and Pedri was an athlete). There were several conversations about this and it usually ended the same way — as long as there was a camera pointed in your direction, there could be no signs that you were a couple.
"You're working right now?" Pedri asks. You nod in response.
"I need you for an interview. It won't be long, I promise." You signal at your cameraman to prepare the interview, turning back to Pedri.
"I wouldn't mind either way." There's that smile again, the smile that only draws one out of you as well. "Hey, I didn't see you during the celebrations earlier.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I had to get ready for this,” you recall, taking off as soon as the Blaugranas lifted the trophy. It pained your heart to not run up to Pedri and jump into his arms, instead, you ran the other way to touch up your makeup underground.
“But hey, we can take pictures later. When it’s less crowded. And a lot quieter.”
“I can think of several things we can do where it’s less crowded. Dunno about quiet, though,” Pedri teases, low enough so only you could hear.
No amount of Patrick Ta blush could replicate the growing heat painted on your cheeks. You shove him playfully, watching as he bites the inside of his cheek to stifle a laugh.
Pedri looks devilishly handsome tonight — he always does, but something about his boosted confidence from the win only amplified it. His tongue darts out to lave over his bottom lip, taking it between his teeth as he drinks in your figure.
Were the tunnels always this hot?
“Guys,” your cameraman calls, signaling for you to get ready. You shake off all the unholy thoughts in your mind reserved for the comfort of Pedri’s hotel room later that night, fix your hair, and bring the mic up to your chest.
One, two, three, your cameraman mouths, and you’re live on air to millions.
“Welcome back to Wembley! Most of the players are still celebrating by now, but I’m joined by Pedri here.” The camera pans, now fitting you both into the frame.
“Is there anything you’d like to say?” You hope the sound system doesn’t catch the unusual giddiness in your voice as you address him.
“What is there to say? What should I tell you that you already don’t know?” Pedri’s eyes don’t leave yours for a second, completely disregarding the lens, speaking like you’re the only person in the room.
“Well, tell us how you feel,” you respond through giggles, instinctively taking a step closer to him.
“You’ve caught me in a true moment of happiness, not just from me, but from the rest of the club. It’s been a season full of ups and downs and we truly feel like we’ve deserved for it to end this way,” Pedri explains.
“… and I just want to thank all the people that have supported me throughout all this. My parents, my brother…”
Pedri’s voice breaks as he reaches the end of his sentence, his finger reaching up to swipe any stray tears spilling onto his cheeks. You wanted nothing more than to drop the microphone and pull his head into the crook of your neck, but you stood your ground.
Watching the love of your life speak so highly of his loved ones, pouring his heart out with the world watching, it’s why you fell in love with him in the first place. And you feel like it’s happening all over again.
“It’s fine, we can just talk about other things for now…” You try to diffuse the situation, watching as Pedri regains composure in front of you.
“No,” he suddenly blurts, waving his finger.
“No?” you barely manage to squeak out before Pedri leans in — and he’s kissing you.
One arm around your shoulders and his free hand gripping your chin, Pedri moulds his lips against yours. All sense of professionalism had evaporated from your body, drunk on the way he tasted.
He pulls away before you could kiss back, landing one last sneaky peck on your forehead before making a run for it. “I’m leaving! See you later!” he says in between giggles.
You watch him disappear into the stairwell when the sound of applause fills your ears, and you only then realize what position you’re in — putting on a show for the crowd of reports.
“My my, Pedri. What a man he is.”
A voice rings through your earpiece. You also put on a show for the crowd of millions at home.
Your face is heated once more, your words tripping over themselves as you try to think of a closing statement. Part of you wants to scold Pedri and teach him a lesson for messing with you at work — the other wants him to kiss you senseless again, letting the world know you belong to each other.
“When Pedri comes back to Spain, tell him I want to give him a kiss as well!”
392 notes · View notes
httpsuniverse · 9 months
Text
mr lover [ ben chilwell ]
— right where you left lover girl sequel, this takes place two years later!
[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °.   *
[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — romance, mentions pregnancy, google translated french . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °.   *
࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol
this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.
benchilwell
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liked by masonmount, yourusername, reecejames and others
benchilwell family time
view all 592 comments
user am i reading this right ?? ‘family’ time ??
user his dog clinging to y/n is the cutest thing ever
user they’re such dog parents 😭
yourusername my babyyy my babyyy
benchilwell which one?
yourusername one of you will be in a lot of pain if i say who
benchilwell 🙄
yourusername
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liked by benchilwell, masonmount, cmpulisic and others
yourusername look at me, i am the favourite hooman now.
view all 826 comments
user not y/n quoting from captain phillips 😭
benchilwell once i get back home, i will take my title back
yourusername NONSENSE! you cannot dethrone the current favourite hooman
user y/n saying hooman instead of human 😭 that’s so dog momma of her
yourusername i birthed this child
benchilwell huh
yourusername huh
user pls he looks so comfy on y/n’s lap, he’s obviously not a lap dog
yourusername if he fits, he sits
user agreed 🤝
user why did all this time i thought y/n was a cat person
user she literally loves any kind of animal 😭 she adopted a ferret when she was a kid
yourusername omg !! mr fuzzy wuzzy was my childhood pet 🥹 maybe i should adopt another ferret
benchilwell what? no way
yourusername heheheheheheheeh
benchilwell
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liked by masonmount, yourusername, judebellingham and others
benchilwell home is where the heart is.
view all 289 comments
yourusername but god i love the english
benchilwell you know i love a london boy
yourusername 🫣🫣
user ben at this point, you really are the extra hooman
benchilwell i cant blame him
yourusername i told you i birthed this dog
benchilwell 😂
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yourprivate
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liked by masonspriv, reecespriv, mikaspriv and 23 others
yourprivate hehe oops
view all comments
mikaspriv what the fuck is this how i find out ?!?!?!!
yourprivate heheheheheheheeheh
mikaspriv IM PACKING MY BAGS AND HOPPING ON THE NEXT PLANE
benspriv little chilly 🔜
masonspriv i never wouldve known if i hadnt opened this account
reecespriv me too mate
christiansprivme three
jackspriv me four
benspriv me five
yourpriv what
benspriv what
yourusername and benchilwell
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liked by masonmount, chelseafc, england, madders and 8,826,937 others
yourusername we’re getting him a human in a few months 🙈
view all 399,826 comments
benchilwell babe i thought we already agreed what the caption will be
yourusername mines funnier
benchilwell 🙄
masonmount who thought that covering his eyes would be cute
yourusername mine. do you have any problem with that? 😀
masonmount i don’t maam, it’s a great idea, very very cute!
user this is the cutest announcement 😭
user as a fellow dog mummy, i approve of this post!
weratedogs 100/10 for being such a good boy and will be the goodest big brother!
user as a y/n fan since debut, i feel OLD (we’re the same age)
yourusername omg since debut album?!?!?! 😳 we have to meet like RIGHT NOW
user y/n went from writing how she’s stuck in the past, to loving herself and loving a new person 🥹 now she’s probably gonna write something about her baby ... just thinking about it rn makes me emotional
— ❤️ by yourusername
england congratulations benchilwell and yourusername! 🤍
chelseafc shall we make a onesie for baby chilwell?
yourusername omg YES PLEASE
benchilwell 🤦🏻‍♂️
yourusername JUST IMAGINE HOW CUTE OUR BABY WILL BE ON THAT ONESIE
benchilwell
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liked by prodbymika, masonmount, madders, england and others
benchilwell eleanor chilwell is here 🩷👨🏻‍🍼 you did good mama, i’m proud and grateful to you, yourusername. i love you both
comments on this post have been limited.
yourusername thank you dada, we love you too 🩷
yourusername
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liked by benchilwell, charles_leclerc and 3,826,929 others
yourusername the happiest i’ve ever been 🩷 merci pour tout mon benji. je t'aime toi et eleanor de tout mon coeur. (thank you for everything, my benji. i love you and eleanor with all my heart)
view all 150,729 comments
benchilwell 🩷🩷
user several chapters missed but i’m glad to see you so happy y/n 🥹
user i was surprised when they announced she was pregnant, bit i was more surprised to know that they’re married now 😭
user the hand placements of ben 😭
user i’m so alone yall
user AAA y/n 🥺
user literally went from being dog parents to real parents 🥺🩷
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────
yourusername and benchilwell
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2,836,729 likes
yourusername darling, don’t you ever grow up... just stay this little. happy birthday my sweet eleanor🩷 mama (with the help of dada) wrote a song for you baby, me and dada loves you sooo much. never grow up out now ✨
view all 238,861 comments
benchilwell growing up too fast, my ellie bear 🥲
user ellie bear... 😭 bens such a girl dad
user stopp im emo im not even a parent
user omg eleanor looks so cute!!
user milks expensive, im too young to be a mum
user my daily mantra every time i see ben or y/n post eleanor
user they have a little ballerina 🥺
user 4 years old already? 😭 time really flew by omg
yourusername i know right 🥺
user y/n and her happy ending 🥺 CURRENTLY TAKING A BATH WITH MY TOASTER RN
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lewisvinga · 2 months
Text
star couple | jude bellingham x fem! mclaren f1 driver! reader
summary; the current golden boy of real madrid dating the princess of the paddock has the internet going crazy
fc; jihoon kim
warnings; ? suggestive comment i think maybe cursing i dont rlly know lol
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1
note; requested ! i wish real madrid admins and social media managers were as funny and entertaining as f1 🕊️ but alas, they are a serious institution 🕊️🕊️
masterlist !
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liked by judebellingham, landonorris, and others !
yourusername: little date night ft almave , tysm lewishamilton 💫🫶
tagged; almave
username: WHAT ??? night
username: she’s dating someone ? 😀😀😀
username: mother is slaying this winter break
username: the outfit EATSSS
username: wdym ur on a date i wasn’t there ?? 🤣🤣
lewishamilton: glad you enjoyed! let me know if you guys need more 😁
yourusername: oh WE LOVED, he definitely did too and is already demanding more!
username: HE?????
username: why is jude bellingham in my gf’s likes….. he needs to focus on getting that pichichi🙄🙄🙄
username: why did jude bellingham like lol
username: guys what if jude and y/n are dating ..
username: LMFAOO😂😂🤣🤣
landonorris: tell him i say hi
yourusername: no u stink ( he says hi back )
mclaren: y/n slaying as always 😎
yourusername: why thank u admin
judebellingham uploaded to his story !
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[caption 1; fuck it, hard launch because i love my girl so matcha] [caption 2; 😍😍]
yourusername replied to your story !
yourusername fuck it i wanna hard launch too
yourusername the girlies ( lando ) are gonna go crazyyy
judebellingham screw soft launches i wanna show u off 🕊️🕊️
judebellingham are u on ur way tho
yourusername mina n i are nearrrrrr w fede jr and fede jr jr
judebellingham love those kids
judebellingham how abt a bellingham jr???
yourusername i love u babe but we’re barley adults ourselves …. we’re barley 20😀
judebellingham who says we can’t be going parents 😒😒😒
yourusername our careers !!
yourusername uploaded to their story !
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[caption 1; omw to support my favorite boy🤍] [caption 2; the face of a man who scored a brace today and is todays ucl motm 🤭]
landonorris replied to your story !
landonorris gross
yourusername stfu ur jealous
landonorris don’t u have a game to watch
yourusername don’t u have a race to win 🤓🤓
landonorris YOU DIDNT WIN ALL LAST SEASON EITHER
yourusername red bull and max verstappen dominance 😞 fortunately i do love a team that wins the most championships tho🤭
landonorris can u get me a signed jersey plzzzz
yourusername maybe if u behave liked by landonorris !
judebellingham replied to your story !
judebellingham have you seen twitter yet🤣
yourusername omg no
judebellingham everyone’s shocked 🥸 why are they shocked that i pulled you😞
yourusername: idk babe, maybe bc i’m a cool f1 driver n ur not🤓🤓
judebellingham ok but i play for real madrid ??
yourusername white is such a good color on u btw lando wants a signed jersey
judebellingham on it 🫡🫡
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liked by judebellingham, vinijr, and others !
yourusername: little madrid photo dump ft the ucl motm😁😁🤍
tagged; judebellingham
judebellingham: did u see me score for u, my star girl, they were for u☺️☺️😊🌹🌹
yourusername: yes i did see my starboy 🤍🤍
username: starboy n stargirl = star couple 😫
username: he’s fine asf tho icl
username: HE SCORED A BRACE FOR HER😫😫
username: now she gotta win a race for him
username: yeah but max🥸
vinijr: wow and i didn’t make the photo dump?😒
camavinga: it’s like that w them 🙄
rodrygogoes:🙄🙄
yourusername: next time i promise 😞
judebellingham: drama queens, all of you !
aurelientchm: leave him out next photo dump camavinga
username: the players interacting w her is so😭😭
username: the denim lv bag is everything tbh
landonorris: tysm for the signed jersey 😁judebellingham
judebellingham: anything for y/n’s friends 🫡
yourusername: lando is NOT my friend
landonorris: she’s a liar we r bffs😒
mclaren: stargirl and starboy of the paddock and the field !🤩🧡🤍 liked by yourusername and judebellingham !
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justbreakonme · 8 months
Text
“P-please- I can’t- I can’t!”
“What? You can’t what?”
Whumpee shook their head frantically, struggling to breath.
“Whu- Oh! Oh no, okay, okay, I think you’re having a panic attack- oh my god, um, okay- Deep breaths, everything’s gonna be okay…”
Caretaker’s hands moved up, then down, unable to decide where they should go, what they should do. Whumpee hadn’t had a panic attack in front of them before, and, hell, they were practically still strangers. What should they do?
‘Think, dumbass, what are they scared of? Then, stop whatever it is, or get rid of it.’
They looked around, seeing nothing but the rest of the house, until… oh.
It wasn’t what they saw. It was what they heard.
The downstairs neighbors had the football game on, god, Caretaker had drowned it out so much that they forgot it pretty much. But, the yelling…
“Hey- is it the guy downstairs? He yells at the TV, no one’s mad at you, it’s okay, it’s okay-“
They move to hug them but then pause, then remember how desperately Whumpee had clung to them when they were rescued. They gently wrapped an arm around whumpees shoulder, careful to avoid putting any pressure on or near their chest, but…
It was like it startled them enough to move, and they were instantly digging their fingers into Caretakers shoulders, clinging to them once again.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay- I’ve got you,” Caretaker let their hands settle against whumpees back, rubbing gentle circles, “You’re here, you’re safe, no one is upset, you don’t have to do anything.”
594 notes · View notes
swayziiwriter · 9 months
Text
Forget | Pablo Gavi
summary: after a bad game you help Pablo with much needed relaxation, helping him forget about his match problems.
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WARNING: 18+, sexual content
"Fucking referee! I'm out of the next match because they gave me a yellow card!" Pablo groaned. Even though you were already home from the match, Pablo's rage was still evident as he yelled and threw his backpack on the sofa.
He was in a huff the entire way home, his anger coursing through his veins, as he tried to control himself by gritting his teeth.
"Look, Pablo, the fight is over now. Put an end to your self-pity. It will not improve the situation.” You said, "It's time to move on, come on now.” But it was clear that trying to reason with an irate Pablo was difficult.
"You don't get it! I made a mistake in this crucial match! He yelled back, "Stop trying to make me feel better because it's just not going to work." Pablo buried his face in his hands, letting heavy breathes escape his mouth as you dropped down to your knees in front of him.
You brought a soothing hand to his thigh, grazing over it lightly in an attempt to soothe his nerves and calm him down. "Take a breath, Pablo. Let me help you forget" you cooed innocently.
Though, there were no innocent actions behind your words.
Pablo looked up from his hands, the air now becoming a bit thicker then before as he watched you slide your jersey off. Revealing your lacy blue bra. "Make you feel good" you said lightly, bringing your hands to Pablo's sides as you tugged his shorts down.
Your actions were enough to get Pablo off, the outline of his erection evident. You ran your hand across his cock, feeling him twitch under your touch. Pablo let out a small whimper, his breathing becoming erratic as you took his cock into your hands palming tauntingly.
You brought your thumb to his tip, your hand still tightly wrapped around his base. Leaning down you brought you tongue to his tip, swirling the pre cum that leaked out.
Pablo's eyes shut, he leaned back into the sofa letting his hands drift to your hair as he started to massage your scalp.
You repositioned yourself before hollowing your cheeks, taking his hard cock into your mouth. Pablo let out a moan, the feeling of your warm tongue going up and down his cock was euphoric. You continued your actions, bobbing your head to Pablo's moans.
You sped up your movements before Pablo harshly grabbed your head, pushing you all the way down his cock. You gagged as he pushed himself further down your throat.
Your eyes became glossy as your tongue never faltered, continuing to suck his cock.
Pablo withered under you, bringing his hands to cup your breasts. "Take it like a good girl. So filthy for my cock, look at you taking it all." He groaned, moving his hips to your movements.
He was fucking your face, panting hard as he was getting closer to his high. "f-fuck i'm close" Pablo moaned. "Tan bueno" he encouraged, he was begging for a release. He wanted to cum down your throat, making it clear as he never lifted you off his cock.
Twitching inside of your mouth before releasing ropes of salty cum down your throat.
"y/n" Pablo moaned throughout his release, along with a string of filthy words. You guided him through his release, never stopping as you continued to breath through your nose. Allowing you to keep down on him.
You lifted your head from his cock, making sure to run your tongue up his base as you left him with a "pop".
A string off cum still connecting you with his cock. He smirked at the sight, his cock twitching at the sight. As if he had marked you as his.
You smiled as you cleaned the cum that had dripped from your mouth, making sure to bring it back into your mouth. Staring Pablo down as you did.
"Strip, I wanna fuck that pretty little pussy" he ordered, you smiled bringing your hands to your hips, shimming down your pants.
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GAVI - Nuage de moka dans la boca
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Words : +1,8k
Warning : fluff / slight mature theme (smut)
Summary : Pablo and you had quite the relationship behind locked doors, protected by the comfort of your bedroom. Clearly, Eric didn’t have to know.
☁️ 
“We just gotta stop by” said Eric as he got out of his car, followed by Gavi and Pedri. The Canarian’s car had decided to not work today, leaving him without any other option than depending on Eric to bring him to practice. Considering that Pablo was Pedro’s passenger princess, he as well had depended on Eric. That’s why the two had to tag along wherever the Barcelonian needed to go. And so, the three barça’s players entered the small café, full of students and young adults. 
Eric’s eyes lit up when he saw you, sitting near one of the windows made of stained glass. You were focused, eyes fixed on your computer’s screen, glasses perched at the tip of your nose and hair pulled in a low ponytail. Delicately, your hand would bring your porcelain cup of coffee to your mouth, trying to sip on the fuming hot liquid, but you would back out when you felt the temperature coming from it. The frown that would settle after only brought a laugh out of Eric. 
“You shouldn’t be this impatient !” the older exclaimed, sitting down on one of the free chairs at your table. He had a teasing grin playing on his lips only for you to roll your eyes at his annoying behavior. 
“Guess I took after mom...” you said, throwing him a fake smile. God, nobody could annoy you as easily as Eric. You had, at some point in your life, thought that his sole purpose in life was to get on your nerves. If that was the case, he was doing a remarkable work at that. He nodded, agreeing with you. “That means I also took after her brain, that’s actually sad for you” you added, wanting to get back at him. The other scoffed, ignoring your glare and toyed with the spoon that the waitress had brought you with your coffee. 
The two other Barca’s players were standing next to the sitting Eric, eyeing the scene with an amused glint shining in their eyes. The interactions you had with your brother were the funniest, they thought. The banter you two had oddly reminded Pedri of him and his own brother, how they would rip each other’s head for not closing the door, but would actually donate their kidney in order to save the other’s life. Gavi on the other hand just laughed at it, a sword hanging above his head. God, he had put himself in the worst situation. 
Eric had finished being entertained with your golden spoon and wanted to get on your nerves even more. Somehow he got to turn your laptop around, keeping you from typing your essay. You huffed and turned it around, again. But your brother was stubborn, so he gripped the top of it then turned it around again. You cringed when you saw his digits making contact with the screen, now you were more than annoyed. You slapped his hand, quite harshly and turned it around, again, and threw him a glare that left no room for argument. “The sooner you let me finish my conclusion, the sooner we are home...”
Pedri laughed and pushed Eric a little, mentioning to him to calm down and let you work in peace. You looked like you were nearly done and he didn’t want you to delay your work because of the dumbass that your brother was. Especially when you working longer than needed meant Pablo and him standing with aching legs thanks to the lack of chairs available. You thanked the Canarian with a shy smile and went back to your work under the watchful gaze of the Sevillian. 
His eyes followed your every moves, entranced by your revealed neck, the soft dip near your collar bone and the soft wild hair caressing your skin right there. A soft smile stretched your lips when your hand made contact with the porcelain cup, cold enough to not burn your fingertips. You brought it to your lips, them stretching around the rounded edge, leaving a light rosy tint on the white matter. And you did all of that while looking like an angel blessed by the gods, bathing in a pool of colors. And the sight felt so oddly familiar to Pablo, it hit too close to home. Swallowing had never felt harder. 
The kaleidoscopic piece of lights hitting your face colored your skin with beautiful faint shades of pink, blue, yellow and even purple near your ear. Your eyes were shining under it and it tightened the knot in Pablo’s stomach because that’s close to the picture he had had for himself last night. The window of your bedroom had these pieces of glass hanging in front of it, casting colorful glows in the room right when the sun would begin to set. And he had been there, he had seen it during last night’s sunset, while your lips were red and glossed, your breath uneven while his pants filled the room, sitting on your bed. He knew every corners of your room, the dangling details on your ceiling and the fresco behind your bed. He knew your bare form in the middle of the bed, surrounded by your rooms specificities. He probably could map out the patterns that adorned your carpet, having been focused on it while your naked knees were being roughly scraped by it. And all of these were kept a secret, behind those doors, none of you daring to address the situation publicly. That was what you held hostage in a pandora box where only you and Pablo had the key of. 
The warm liquid passed the barrier of your lips, sliding down your throat as you gulped, your neck moving around it, and Pablo’s breath picked up. Damn it, the hormonal teenager that he was couldn’t handle it. It was too much. You were doing innocent things, sipping on a fucking coffee, without even a glint in your eyes that would hint at him that you knew what you were doing. Nothing at all. He was just living in his memories and projecting them onto you, in front of your brother. And that made him so frustrated, and so much more hotter inside, a weird thrill coursing throw his nerves. His mind was surely a little bit fucked up, he was certain of it. Then you put down the cup. If Pablo felt uncomfortable before, thanks to the hot wave washing over him, now he was completely embarrassed by the stiffness his body showed. All of it because of the white cloud of milk taking residency over the corners of your mouth. The pink tip of your tongue poked out of your mouth to lick at the glistening smear. Only, right now your cheeks weren’t flushed, no hair was sticking to your forehead with sweat and he wasn’t hovering over you, meeting your wide eyes with his.  
He was far gone and if he hadn’t had the control over his facial features he had at the moment, he was sure Eric would have recognized the thoughts running around his head just like Pedro had apparently done. Because the older had knocked his ankle with he tip of his shoe and had coughed, harder than he normally would. Pablo turned his head, questioning Pedri with his eyes. But the older only shrugged, swallowing a good laugh. Pablo had lied when he had said that this was a secret just between the two of you. He hadn’t been able to keep it away from his best friend, the guilt and the excitement too heavy on his shoulders for him to not share it with someone. Plus, Pedro was the one taking him and bringing him back from your place. It would normally help, the older knowing, because he could help Pablo come up with lies or getting him out of embarrassing situations. However, right now, he was doing the opposite and broke Pablo’s facade who now had a deep blush coloring his cheeks. 
“You good Gavi ?” asked Eric when finally, awareness hit him. He was looking at the two midfielders with confusion written on his face, the red hues on Pablo’s skin and the teasing look on Pedri’s part making him feel like he had missed on something. You had looked up at the sound of your lover’s nickname. Now, all eyes were on him and he felt overwhelmed, not sure how to respond to that. 
“Of course he is, I just reminded him of something embarrassing he had done, right ?” answered Pedro. And really, Pablo was glad. He nodded, trying by every means to avoid meeting your eyes, rather focusing them on your laptop’s screen. 
“Leave the boy alone, he’s just a small baby. We must take care of this innocent child!” and that had you choking on the leftover coffee, not really agreeing with your brother’s words. Now you were the one blushing, trying to regain your breath. “Look at that! Just like, Y/N, a small baby. I should also take care of you...” he said as he handed you a tissue to clean yourself up. Your heart was beating like crazy. Oh, if he knew. If he knew how his small, small sister would let herself be undressed by firm hands, getting on her knees and taste other things than the milk covering the bitter coffee. If he knew Pablo was the other innocent child making see her stars, and forget her own name. Guilt was also taking place in her heart, but she knew the defender wasn’t quite ready to hear that his teammate had stolen his little sister’s heart. 
“Let’s get going...” you whispered, standing up, bumping unintentionally on Pablo’s shoulder. His eyes had widened and as you apologized, he could only nod, swallowing the remaining sour taste of embarrassment. God, how much energy Pedro had to put in order to not give it away by laughing at the two youngsters. He really couldn’t understand how Eric was that obvious.
The four of you got out of the small café and went to Eric’s car, Pedro trying to keep the oldest’s attention on him to give you peace. Now, Pablo and you were following them silently, hands sometimes brushing, teasing the skin with grazes of nails. You wanted to hold his, feel the way his fingers would intertwine with yours, a warm palm meeting your cold one. Not now though, it wasn’t the time. 
You finally entered the car, Pedro rushing to be at the front, mumbling something about being the second oldest. Not that you minded, you actually liked the idea of being in the back, alone with Pablo while your brother was focused on the road and Pedro’s chatter. And that’s how found yourself sitting a seat apart from your boyfriend, glancing at each other with shy looks. His cheeks hadn’t quite gone back to normal and you loved it. It was so amusing to see the normally hot headed boy being so sensitive about the situation. You were grinning like a fool behind your locks that you had freed from the hair tie. You knew he had a matching one adorning his lips. 
To Pablo ♡ :
Don’t worry, the Moka didn’t taste nearly as good as you
☁️  
I hope you liked it! English isn’t my first language so I hope I didn’t make too many mistakes!
Don’t be shy and tell me what you thought of it.
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limitedgigi · 9 months
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yall pls request 😭
another yandere hcs post bc i was bored!!
so sorry if its too long
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yandere jock hcs!
yan! jock who is your school's prized quarterback and has never lost a game.
yan! jock who sees you in the crowd at his game and immediately falls in love with you.
yan! jock who talks you the next day during class and asks you to have lunch with him.
yan! jock who invites you to his next game, but is disappointed when you tell him you have plans that day.
yan! jock who performs poorly during practice because all he can think about is you.
yan! jock who notices how his teammates look at you in the halls as you pass by their group and hates the way they stare at you.
yan! jock who starts to slack off during his next game, until he sees you watching him in the crowd.
yan! jock who turns the game around and beats the opposing team to make sure he impresses you!
yan! jock who asks you about your plans you had that day and melts when you tell him you cancelled them to watch him play.
yan! jock who follows you around like a lost puppy after the game.
yan! jock who carries all your stuff, holds doors open for you, and pulls out your chair for you, like a true gentleman.
yan! jock who scares off any competition with his 6'2 muscular frame, and then showers you with attention immediately after.
yan! jock who comes to any of your extracurricular events when he has free-time to support you! he's your biggest cheerleader, literally.
yan! jock who is ecstatic when you ask him out on a date. he doesn't care where you guys go, he'll pay for everything as long as you're with him!!
yan! jock who spaces out when you talk to him and just looks into your eyes with a stupid smile on his face, thinking about how much he loves you.
"h-huh? oh, yeah i was listening! what did you say? uhh.. um... hehe.."
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