#....until after the worst thing ever happend

[melatien]

i need to share my twitter AU rambles here more often, heres my most recent one

#mha #me? talking about characters that aren't the vestiges? #UGH i cant believe i had to include the main characters of the show in an au for once this is so not tien #I HAD TO FOR THE AU TO FLOURISH THOUGH!!!!! #tbh i lost track of how this would work with canon halfway and it shows #idk if a half destroyed japan would care about a disease thats the thing #SO I WAITED! #....until after the worst thing ever happend #only making it less believeable #coverage for the disease should've happen before the 'ofa stealing fight' #OH WELL #yoichi shigaraki #one for all #ofa vestiges

[triple-asstro]

Some comfort scenerio for the rise guys where nb reader feels useless? They know they help their family by doing chores and generally looking out for them the best they can but they can't help but feel... Useless, y'know? How would the guy's feel when they come across a crying reader?

a/n: omfg i feel this req to my core, hopefully you enjoy! and yes- i’m alive lol also i wrote this at like 1am so-

summary: reader feels useless and our rottmnt boys encounter them crying

type: scenario

leo:

- it was quite the rough day for you. you woke up trying to have a good day but,

- the universe said: “haha no.”

- your teachers were constantly berating you about following instructions and your parents kept saying how if you would apply yourself, you wouldn’t be having these problems.

- all this stress caused you to bottle it up until you got to your room

- then, the tears started flowing and flowing-

- and of course, leo burst in through his portal at the worst time-

- “now, did anyone order a amazingly handsome pizza- oh.”

- instantly, he dropped everything to come and ask you what happend

- after hearing everything, he completly showers you in compliment and affection.

- probably tells you that you’re doing greater things that he ever could and how proud he is of you.

- at the end of the day, words of comfort and hanging out at random new york rooftops completly washes your cares away.

raph:

- you’ve been helping your parents with chores lately, at their requests, but you couldn’t help but feel like everything you did was either wrong or insignificant.

- like everytime you said you were going to complete a chore when you got home, it was already done by the time you walked through the door.

- even though your parents thought it would take some weight off of your mind, it actually drove you insane.

- an easily completed chore, the chore that you did, someone else did it. you were being replaced and the chore was incredibyl easy. Did they think you could5 handle it?

- that send you straight back to your room and onto your bed in tears.

- remembering your conversation with raph about when the other is feeling down, you called him and told him about the situation.

- not even five seconds later, he was at your window, ready with plushies and weighted blankets.

- “i know you might feel like you’re useless but hey, you’re trying your best. and that’s what matters.”

donnie:

- after you came out as nonbinary to your parents, you couldn’t help but feel that everything’s slightly different.

- they still love and support you but you noticed subtle glances and how suddenly, they have more work than anticipated.

- after school, your parents promised you to a dinner at (f/r, favourite restaurant) and you were stoked.

- that was, until you got home and saw them both glued to their computers.

- the words: “i’m sorry honey but we’re completely plelty swamped with work. maybe tomorrow won’t be so busy…”

- you couldn’t help but feel that they’ve completely changed as you headed towards your balcony, tears trickling down your cheek.

- after sobbing for a while, a loud crash brought you to the roof where you saw donnie dismantling a satellite dish.

- “donnie what are you-“

- “oh! hello y/n, don’t mind me, i’m just having a completely normal and average interaction with a satellite dish.”

- when he turned back around and saw your stuffy dry eyes, you could see the confusion in his eyes.

- you explained the whole situation to him, the experiences of your parents being confused and asking you questions you didn’t quite know yourself flooding back.

- “oh sweet sweet y/n. you’re not useless, in fact, you are the polarizing opposite. yes, they may not understand completely now but rest assured, they will sooner or later and if they don’t, they’re missing out on an extraordinary person.”

- after those words, you wrapped him in a hug, thanking him as he tried to not combust out of uncomfortableness.

mikey:

- your parents had a similar situation as well, constantly working.

- the constant “im busy sweetheart” and “maybe tomorrow?” had made you feel insignificant, almost like a nuisance to their everso important work.

- when you wanted to show them a recent grade you got on a test, they shrugged you off again with a montone: “that’s great, honey.”

- and just like that, you stomped to your room sobbing.

- you kept wailing, hugging your pillows as tight as you could until you realized you agreed to hangout with mikey this afternoon and it was too late to wipe your tears and clear your nose.

- so of course, when he entered through the balcony, he was a little bit more than concerned.

- “y/n, ohmigosh why are you crying? what happened?”

- you explained everything that happened, while your voice was mumbling and trembling with every word and he immediately showered you in hugs and head pats.

- “y/n, you’ll never be useless to me, okay? you’re the most attractive, intelligent being i’ve ever met! ooh, i have an idea, why don’t we talk about our days? that could get our minds of things? i made a new painting just on this nearby building and you’d love it!”

- “mikey, im pretty sure that’s called graffiti-”

- the graffiti was in fact beautiful and now every wednesday, you have a weekly therapy vent with dr delicate touch.

#rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt #tmnt2018 #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #tmnt headcanons #tmnt

[chronically-enthusiastic]

Sooo.... Below the read break is kinda my autism journey? Well masking journey probably. I did this both for myself, and for any other people out there who are looking for stories of other people and their experiences. And also a bit for the picrewcule bc ive posted some stuff about struggling with friendships recently and yeah..... :)

I was always the weird one in primary school... I was bullied in my first school, maybe a combination of autism and faith? But it led me to have to move schools... In my second primary school, people didnt bully me as overtly, but they would run away from me if I went near them and they called me unpleasant things. I was asked why I was weird quite a few times and my answer was that i had learnt how to interact in a normal way at my previous school, and now i am here and I dont know again... Which looking back was very self aware if me, but also very autistic of me....

I did find friends at that school, but they were so toxic and oftentimes mean that it would probably have been better for me to not have made friends at all....

Every time i went back after a half term, i would cry and plead with myself to just try to be normal. Theyll like me if im normal, they wont run away from me in the playground saying ive got the cheese touch. But each time I failed to make myself normal.

UNTIL!! i started high school. The mask fell into place in year 7. And it worked! No one was mean to me, infact I even found a few nice friends! But every time the mask dropped slightly accidentally i would feel so so bad inside, like i had done the worst thing ever and i had messed up forever.

Then year 8 came along. And masking all the time took its toll. I was crying every day needing to go to the library. I forgot what it was like to feel happy. I was so so tired and so so sad. I forgot who I was. Family friends were asking my parents if I was okay because i seemed so different and sad. And I would say im fine, because my life was fine. I had family who loved me, a school that I enjoyed, and friends who cared for me. I had no reason to be depressed.

Aannd then lock down happend. And that possibly maybe saved my life. I wasnt at that point yet, but I think I was on that trajectory. I found myself again in lockdown! Thats the short of it! Yay!

Then school started up again and i masked again, and i started going downhill again. Fast forward to yr11 when I was missing so many lessons because of anxiety/overstimulatiin.... And people noticed this time and I got therapy! Halfway through therapy me and my therapist seperately came to the conclusion that I was probably autistic. And everything made sense.

I started to lower the mask and almost immediately lots of my anxiety ceased. I started to learn who I was again, and I felt so much happier. And now? Im in a new school without anyone I know and ive dropped the mask almost entirely.

First weeks are always hard for me. I was expecting to need to miss almost every lesson this week and to be crying constantly. Ive gone to every lesson and this week has been about as bad as a normal week at my old school. I have support now.

Masking really took its toll and I am so glad Im in a position that I dont need to anymore. I dont want to end up back where i was in year 8, or yr 11. But it does mean its harder to find friends.... But as you have said, its better to have friends who know the real me and who like the real me than friends who like a mask.

#own post #autism #maksing #tw bullying #tw depression #tw suicide #actually autistic #autistic masking #personal post

[lemme-use-a-thorn]

yes this is due to @eluminium ‘s post. i couldn’t help myself

The One Thing You Can’t Replace

Another story I heard about myself, this one happend on season nine,

We had this King in season nine whose advisor I dated once. His name was Ren and his advisor, Bdubs, was technically my ex-husband. We sort of got married on this death server, but then we died, so he’s my ex-husband.

And Ren was an asshole and one weekend he decided to leave town, which you should never do if you're an asshole. And I decided to throw a party in the King’s vault.

Hurrah!!(sarcastically) And everyone around town heard about it, and they all got up individually and thought: Okay, let's go over there and destroy the place.

I organized this party, everyone I had ever met was there, and everyone was dressed up like Xisuma like it was the last party ever. People were doing bad British accents like their lives depended on it. It was totally unsupervised; we were like dogs without horses, we were running wild.

We jumped down- we jumped down to the basement, they had a pool in the basement, but I’d covered it in glass. Cleo took a running start and threw herself into the basement and died. We played party games, stole the whole royal treasure. Normal things. So the party was going great.

I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup, you've seen movies, and I'm standing there, and I'm holding a red cup and I'm starting to black out. And I guess someone said like "something, something King Ren" and in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled "fuck da King!"

"fuck da King!" and everyone else joined in. Twenty Hermits dressed like Xisuma yelling “fuck da King!” with the confidence of guys who have like already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore. You know that like "I served my nickle, you come and take me" confidence, but Hermits dressed as various Doomguys.

The reason someone had said "something, something King Ren" was because the King was there. So King Rendog walked down the stairs, and got to the bottom of the basement, and looked out over a sea of disguised Hermits yelling "fuck da King" in his face, and he was almost impressed he was like "wow". And then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went "get the hoyguy". And my friend Grian, who is a father-this man has a baby, he grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "scatter!" And everyone flew in a different direction, we all flew in different directions. It was like that scene in Rataouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways, we all flew in different directions, except Joe who jumped down into the pool and got stuck there.

I flew out the top of the vault, hitting my head a bunch, and crash-landing in the hallway. and now I'm running down the mountain and there's this big drop to the shopping district and I thought "I've never fallen from that high before" and then I woke up at home.

On Monday, I went to our regular meeting, because that's what we did back then. And I'm walking into the building and who do I see, but Bdubs and he says to me "hey, were you at that party on Saturday?" and I said "no", you know, like a liar. And he said "things got really out of hand, someone stole all the diamonds, someone covered the pool with glass"

"but the worst thing", he says, "the worst thing is that someone kidnapped the Warden in the basement." And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have, did-did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn't have done that, but I wasn’t sure until, 2 weeks later.

Relax

I'm hanging out with Tango, two weeks later, long after the party. We're talking about Decked Out 2 for a couple hours and then Tango says to me, "Hey, come here. I want to show you something." And then he takes me into the dungeon, and then he takes me into a side room off of the dungeon. Never a good thing to have. He shows me a tiny room that is filled wall to wall in stolen named Wardens from different people's parties over the season.

And I said "why?" (in a whisper)

(still whispering) "why do you do this?"

And Tango said, "because it's the one thing you can't replace."

That's the end of that story, but how fucked up is that? right? that's crazy!

So I don’t throw parties anymore.

#hermitcraft #impulsesv #if i had a nickel for every time i spent work time editing a mulaney monologue to fit server events #i’d have two nickels #which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice #and yeah i *know* impulse took the warden to keep everyone safe but it would be SO funny if tango just has him

[rehcciardo]

The chaos of Silverstone

This one is a bit late but I didn’t had time after the race and my notes were so messy, that I needed to sort them out a bit first.

I think I should start with the drivers parade.

To be honest I actually prefer the truck instead of all drivers seperated in different cars. I don’t know how it is when you are at the track but for watching it at home, the trucks are so much better in my opinion. I love the interviews and I love to see the drivers chatting with each other and fooling around sometimes and all of this is missing when they are seperated of course. But  I still had a lot of fun watching it.

At first let’s talk about how cute Lando looked with his UK bucket hat. I’m not a big fan of those hats but Lando is looking so cute with them <3. I really want him to wear them all of the time xD. And I almost died laughing when they interviewed Lando and Lewis came over to steal his bucket hat! This was hilarious xD. Our Uk boys were in such a fantastic mood and I loved all about it!

But there is one thing I have to admit. I really was afraid that George will fall out of the car because he was standing in this car the most of the time. I’ve seen him landing on the track in my mind already. I’m glad it didn’t happen though.

I also have to talk about Daniel and his old fashioned racing helmet or maybe I better say hat? I don’t know how to call it right but it looked so funny! This guy is such an idiot but in a very good way xD.

The next one I want to talk about is Valtteri. He was literally sitting in the car like a boss. Yeah of course it is Valtteri but it really looked like: “Yeah I’m here and I do not give a single fuck about everything. But I’ll kick some asses in the race later!” I’ll call him Valtteri Bossas from now on. (I’m sorry for that!)

Last but not least one of my personal highlights. Carlos struggling to get out of his car was  so cute and funny and I won’t ever get over this! The way he looked for the right way to get out was pricless :D

Holy shit this one will be  a way too long. I just finished the drivers parade and there  are still so many things coming. There are a few things I have to mention here.

First of all, Sebastian’s hemlet for this race was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen so far. I think it was even cuter than Albons helmet with his pets and this means a lot! He really has got a by his kids designed helmet as a birthday present from his family? God I can’t! This is cuetness overload guys!

The second thing I really loved was Sam Ryder performing the national anthem. Maybe I should tell you, that I’m a passionate ESC fan and seeing two of my passions collide like this was freaking awesome. And I liked his own style of the anthem.

But now it’s finally time to write about the race itself, huh?

The start had been a quiet good one for Max who could pass Carlos in the very first meters. Carlos lost his position without a single chance to fight against Max.

When we talk about good starts, I also have to mention Lewis who did an amazing start as well. I mean it really feels like Mercedes and espescially Lewis are back and are fighting more than ever. And this feels fantastic after the tough start into the season.

Turn one. I don't even know how to start writing about what happened because I'm still shocked. There was this big accident and at first I didn’t know what happend. I just saw George slowing down because he obviously had a crash and suddenly he jumped out of the car to run towards another car. After a short time it became clear that  Zhou had a horrendous accident with George and Albon crashed as well because he tried to avoid the bigger one. The red flag has been waved and I knew it must have been something real serious. I was nearly in tears already because  I didn't know if Zhou was ok and  I  honestly thought about the worst case scenario. The time passed by and it felt like hours until the commentators finally said that Zhou is okay. Of course I was afraid about Albon as well but after seeing a replay of this nasty crash and how Zhou's car was upside down  slippering through the gravel into the barrier and over it....fuck this shit could have ended badly. I'm nearly in tears again while writing about the crash. I'm sooo sooo glad that Zhou and Albon are okay and thank you halo for saving a live once again!

Oh and by the way. Daniel had so much luck to haven't been involved  in the accidents. Albon almost hit him. This was goddamn close. But Yuki and Esteban got involved by it and I think Pierre as well. But at least the could still drive the car back to the pit lane.

And can we please talk again about George who jumped out of his car and run towards Zhou to look after him and checking if he is okay? George is truly one of my heros today! I'm so so sad that he was out after his crash because he couldn't manage it to come back into the pit lane on his own  during the red flag like Yuki or Esteban did. And he looked so sad when he got interviewed. I wanted to hug him so so badly. Much love for Georgie <3

During the red flag, Lewis ran into the Aston Martin garage and my very first thought was,  that Mick may have started a new trend in Canada with sneaking into other team's garages xD

They restarted the race with the positions the drivers gained in the qualifying and this was really sad for Lewis who had this incredible start and he gained two positions  with it already. But due of the positions of the qualifying he was back on P5 at the restart and I was so mad about it.

The fights at the restart were so tight and intense. The fight between Charles and Checo was a really hard one and they had some touchy moments with each other. Due of this fight Perez had to do a pit stop and ended at the back of the field after it and Charles had a slighty damaged nose as well.

Both Alpha Tauri took each other out off track and were almost at the and of the field? Okay actually Tsunoda took both of them out. But it looked nicely synchron. Maybe they should apply on a ballet school? Not me imagine Yuki and Pierre dancing ballet while they are wearing a cute tutu xD

Again Carlos couldn't handle the pressure and made a mistake and Max had the opportunity to overtake him again. Please Carlos  you have to stay focused and not making silly little mistakes when you are under pressure. It's painful to watch. But fortunately for him Max had an issue on his tyres, slowed down and went in for a pit stop. But the issue was still there becaus it wasn't a puncture in one of his tyres but he was still able to stay out even he struggled like hell. But still better as retiring the car.

The next DNF. This time Valtteri. Okay no kicked asses this race. Do someone know what was the problem with his car? I don't know if they said it to be honest. But what a bad day for Alfa Romeo in Silverstone. Double DNF. I'm sorry for them.

Vettel passed Verstappen. VER FUCKING STAPPEN. Yeah of course he was struggeling but who would have thought that something like this will happen this season? Me neither! And I'm so sorry but everytime someone passes Max I have this fucking song on loop in my mind. Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand sight xD I like Max. I admire his driving skills and his talent but this song is instantly playing in my head every fucking time xD

Here we go again with another DNF. Pierre had to retire his car. I think his tow accidents affected his car more than expected? This time again I do not remember that they said something during the broadcast about this DNF and the reasons. Maybe my brain was so full of informations and emotions already that it wasn't able to handle more informations? I couldn't  blame it xD

Just right after  passing Verstappen, Ocon's car had an technical issue. Just if his car was thinking: "My job here is done! I passed Verstappen. I've reached all I ever wanted. I'm out, bye!" But of course he parked it on the track and caused a SC. Sir you can't park here! Don't get me wrong I don't blame him. It just fited exactly well to this hell of a race xD

And when we are talking about this SC. Ferrari messed up with their strategy again. Traditions... This is one of the safest things you can cross out on your bullshit bingo every race weekend. Once again they screwd up on Charles because they didn't let him pit. Guys, do you even know that Charles is in an actual fight for the championship with Max? I mean it was great for Carlos in the end but Charles would have needed any single point when Max is struggeling and barely in the points.The SC instead helped Lewis get closer to Ferrari and while Charles tried to keep him behind, he didn't stand a chance on his old set of hard tyres.

The next restart was as intens as the one after the red flag. Thight and exciting fights. And I think a few of them were really close to get under investigation. On of the most exciting fights for me was the one between Mick and Max the last laps. I really screamed at my TV that Mick should not fight this much and rather safe his first ever points in Formula 1. And what should I say? He eventually did it. POINTS. P8! I'm proud of him! I was so relived, when Mick crossed the finish line.

But there is someone else who deserves to be mentioned. Carlos Sainz, who won his first GP. Well done! It really was about time for him getting his first win. The only bad thing is, that this win would have been Charles' when Ferrari wouldn't messed up that much. But I'm happy for him and seeing him on the podium was so wholesome.

The second place for Sergio was incredible, too. He had absolutely one of his best races so far. Coming back  from the end of the field stright onto P2. Fantastic drive Sergio!

I need kind of a "Lewis doing so well" -  appreciation part here. Lewis  did a hell of a race! One fastest lap after the other. INCREDIBLE!!!! And he got another podium!I hope it's not to early to say that Lewis is back in the fight?

This race was full of emotions and epic fights. Exept of the crash in turn 1, this was an amazing and exciting race. But I've been so done after it. I need to get some rest during this week before we are back again in Austria next weekend I guess xD There is nothing more to say besides that I'm so glad that Zhou and Alex are fine.

#carlos sainz jr #charles leclerc #sergio perez #max verstappen #lewis hamilton #george russell #lando norris #daniel ricciardo #esteban ocon #fernando alonso #valtteri bottas #zhou guanyu #pierre gasly #yuki tsunoda #mick schumacher #kevin magnussen #alex albon #nicholas latifi #sebastian vettel #lance stroll #british gp 2022 #just a not so short race rewind

[gab-has-adhd]

i was the last anon... omg u replied!! did not expect that tbh 😭😭 & yeah i don't *actually* hate illumi, in fact i think it'd be near impossible atp because. a) he's way too relatable + b) i adore his character, and his family and his everything bc of how complex he is. he's amazing. stunning. jaw-dropping. horrendous. terrible. terrifying. all at once & I Appreciate Him So Much (tm) for it :]

also speaking of illumi... i am so interested in kikyo. like ik a lot of people in the hxh fandom find her irritating (she is sometimes) but she's a mother too - specifically the zoldyck's mother - and i think as a character, she would have such an in-depth backstory that we haven't even gotten into yet (at least from where i'm currently at rn in the manga lmfao.. manifesting the future chapters give us more abt her bc i Need to know everything about her history in meteor city 🙏)

another thing abt ur reply - UR SO RIGHT ABT WANTING TO BEHAVE LIKE ILLUMI 🙁🙁 as someone who relates to his trauma & thought process, me and him cld not be more different fr. i am too Fiery. i get into too much Trouble for losing my temper at the Worst times. illumi tho?? he looks emotionless (even tho he's not) but i need that kind of detachedness to get around w my daily life 😭 god made me traumatized but not cold as ice How is this fair Please i need a life refund T___T

im so sorry omg i keep writing essays in these asks 🙁 anyways i also hope u have a great morning/day/evening!!! its almost 12am i need to get back to studying for exams LMAOO hope ur doing well tho (drink water bff)

Hi again anon! 🌸 thank you for sending me another ask ufufufu it's almost 5 am for me but it seems I'm going to hae a sleepless night aGAIN for some reasons gnsngmsmcj

Good luck for your exams! I sincerely hope you'll be successful <3 and please never worry about sending me essays hahaha I love it very much 💕

I agree so much with you on Kikyo! I am usually not very big on female characters for some reasons but kikyo is so cool! I need to know more about her! I like her fucked up personality though lmaooo she is a Zoldyck indeed 🙏 like yes she IS irritating but it's because she literally is the MOTHER in a FAMILY OF ASSASSINS I think at this point every Zoldyck is allowed to be irritating LOL

I truly hope Togashi will give us more about her. She's from Meteor City after all, who knows what crazy things happened to her back there! Also I desperately need to know how she met Silva and how they fell in love.

Where are you currently in the manga? Just wanna make sure I don't drop any spoiler material if you send me more asks ufufu!

ALSO OMG I FEEL YOU SO MUCH ABOUT NOT BEHAVING LIKE ILLUMI. Like sure he probably behaves like this because he was deeply traumatized but... look I have ADHD and BPD, nature wasn't very nice with me. The combination makes me extremely impulsive, extremely emotive and very easily angered. My behavior is basically an emotional rollercoaster LMAOOO I just wish I was able to keep a cold face like Illumi 😭 who knows maybe his emotions are wild in his brain but at least he's able to completely conceal them. This is a skill I would appreciate having.

Instead my traumatized dumb ass self decided to gift me the ability to hide my upset-ness until I eventually explode. Which is. A pretty unhealthy behavior LMAO but I'm working on it :)))

Who knows, maybe one day Illumi is going to explode too 😶 not saying I actually want him to explode but somehow I think I would get so emotional if it ever happend to him. Like. Illumi breaking down nervously and. IDK crying maybe. This sounds wildly out of character but wow...

#gab replies #anon #hunter x hunter #hunterxhunter #hxh #kikyo #kikyo zoldyck #illumi #illumi zoldyck #zoldyck #zoldyck family #*sends support for exams* #BPD #ADHD #I am so emotionally unstable lmao

[regardingjenmish]

A little story from Friday:

Short tangent for understanding: I have anxiety and do get panic attacks.

So we had a movie night at my uni and because I have a longer commute I was basically there the whole day.

And well, what I should've expected happend: I got really anxious. Had, not a panic attack, but an anxiety attack. So I had to leave the room where we watched the movies.

And I told myself it was fine. I was just going to walk it off, it's not like it's my first time. I walked into the main part of the uni and just paced there a little.

And it was fine, more or less until a prof who wasn't even my prof asked if everything was ok. (He knows me, I know him, but still caught me by surprise.) That did it. I was just done. Until then I kept it together more or less, but after, nope. I told him, this happens, I just gotta get through it. My new friend was actually next to him (it's actually their prof) and also immediately checked up on me. I ended up sitting down next to them and my friend ended up throwing in that it might be a panic attack (we've talked about that before). And I could basically see the prof having a realisation. He asked if I needed to be alone or if people helped and then started to talk about himself and how he had them too and what helped him.

When I could talk again (without feeling like I was gonna break the moment I formed a sentence) we talked a little about panic and anxiety and all that crap and it was great. I've never had such a casual conversation about it. Where I didn't have to explain a thing, where all I got from the other side was just a "oh yeah, I get that".

Finally he offered he and my friend could kind of be my bodyguards. I could go to them whenever I needed a distraction and they'd keep people away from me when I needed to be alone.

I almost cried. Nobody ever offered me something like that.

It just got to me.

It was the first time somebody knew what to do and just stuck it out with me. Just talked while I dealt with it.

I had to tell somebody, because this is probably the nicest thing anybody has ever done for me. 🥺

~🐢

Hi darling, can I just say that it makes me so happy that you have people like that around you. Even if they're brand new friends, i know how important and good it feels when someone just gets it and you don't have to explain everything like a broken record. So this is very lovely of them to do for you and I'm so happy that they did that! Also what an amazing professor and friend! We need more people like that in the world (especially teachers and professors who are willing to share their own similar struggles with students to make them see they get it)

Now more importantly, i hope you're doing much better and I'm so sorry that your anxiety and panic/anxiety attacks are that way. I have them myself and they are the absolute worst and somehow they always appear at the worst time when absolutely nobody needs them. I hope that after you calmed down, that you were able to enjoy the movie night (or not if that was no longer something you cared for). Either way, i hope it didn't completely ruin your Friday.

#anonymous #🐢 #im sending you a biiiig hug! #also your new friend sounds amazing! im glad you guys met each other :)

[apollo41writes]

Goodnight prompt 53/∞

Fandom: Arcane: League of Legends Ship: Jayce/Viktor AUs/Tropes: Soulmates, No happy ending Prompt: Viktor knows that he's Jayce's soulmates but Jayce doesn't have a connection that leads back to him. It breaks his heart, but he still accepts reality. What is harder and harder to accept, is the ever-changing nature of their bond.

Extra details: Let's start with a little bit of an explanation of how this soulmates au works. Basically it's one of those red thread kind of situation, but instead of just being red, the thread changes colors based on the nature of the relationship.

Like, potentially the thread just binds you to someone that is gonna be important in your life. Most threads at first are yellow for friendship, than slowly change to red when romantic feelings develop. But if the friendship goes to shit the thread goes green, than if the thing go toward hate it become blue and goes more and more towards black. When it hits black you are basically enemies. (It can reach black also from red, becoming darker and darker, hitting maybe purple tones with jealousy and maroon-ish tones if the relationship is filled with resentment of some kind.) But the worst thing that could happen is for the thread to go grey. Because that's basically the person starts to not really care about what happend to the other, their lives aren't intertwined anymore, and if nothing changes the situation, after a while the thread snaps and disappears. (It doesn't even have to go to black to reach grey. Like, the yellow can become slowly paler and paler into a white indifference, before veering to grey and snapping.)

That said, I think at first Viktor has this yellow-ish thread. Maybe it already tended towards orange already, but it becomes definitely red once he reads Jayce's diary. What kind of worries Viktor immediately is that the thread is very think from him. But it gets thinner and thinner the closer if gets to Jayce until it's practically invisible, so much so that apparently Jayce is convinced that he does not, in fact, have any thread at all.

It's a hard to swallow pill, but still he accepts it. It also kind of disappoints him that, for what is visible of it, the thread that comes from Jayce is always very much yellow. Maybe in a couple of years of friendship is does veer more on a orangy side. But it still in a platonic, if deep, friendship.

But then Jayce is involved in the whole politics bullshit, and they see less and less of each other. And Viktor's side of the bond start to veer marronish, and Jayce's goes back to a pale yellow, maybe even starting to veer lime at a certain point.

I don't know much about LoL lore, so I am gonna stop here. But I kind of saw people talking about a divorce era so there is, for sure, potential for this to go in a downward spiral of more angstier tones.

#goodnight prompts #jayvik #jayce/viktor #fic prompt #daily prompt #prompt #arcane lol #jayce talis #viktor arcane #arcane #soulmates #soulmates au #red thread of destiny #heavy angst #feel free to change whatever detail as well #feel free to use this prompt however you want

[irmaylnt]

I AM CONSIDERING LEAVING MY PARTNER OR STAY.

How i started my relationship.

Ok, i started this relationship on 3rd october 2020, that time i feel so loved because i know that this kind of feeling already inside my heart in a small pieces when i am still in my senior high School. yeah, he is my "kakak Kelas" that i ever see when i am in the senior high school.. we ever get chat before, and try to make a relation, but it doesn't last longer.. we have a lost contact, and i just think that he's only my past and we will never meet again. but, u know sometimes the world is joking at me, i met him again when i already work.. we have a same job and place, its very funny how this relationship can go through, how i started to know him deeper and i think that he is so mysterious and i think that will be better to started this relation. and ya, we try to have that relation, on 3rd October 2020, The world is full of love that time.

2. How long my honeymoon phase last

i think my honeymoon phase last after i have 4 or 3 moths relation, i know that i lost some part of happiness in this relationship, i still remember, how i cry, all the time just because thinking about him. and i thought that this is very bad on me, until my mom said that she lost me, and i just keep crying. i still remember about my relationship before this is make me crying sometime but that is just something blunt in my mind, not because of him, i just make something sad in my mind so i cry.. and you know? that time i feel so guilty and i don't know why my feeling is very worst, he is abusive and control me so bad. I was hurt and sick that day, but you know. i was enjoying the pain that time, it will be seems so stupid but no ones know other feeling right?

3. ones the honeymoon ended, what was the main issues that came up to you

it will be so long to explain this, because u know it feels like i carried a big burden in my life, i already tried to do my best in this relation. we already have a million problem, mostly every week. problem is on my relationship, i just try to denial myself if it will be get better like what i want but, now i really feel so exhausted,

but, maybe i can give some issues that makes me not comfortable in this relationship.

a. sometimes, his anger is very unconstable.. her problem can make everybody around them feel it. u know like everybody have problem, but.. sometimes when i have problem, i just burried myself and act like nothing happend to me, but, when he has a problem i shoud have my power to make it balance, i give my best to him, but why this relation goes like this way? why i dont have my space to talk about my doubt, i just ffeling worst,

just hoping that having relationship means u have person that can listen to you so well just listen not judging me and makes me feeling worst. am i the wort thing to have this heavy thing ever?

b. our mistake, i have a bad issues that makes pattern to this relation, i already break my boundaries. one thing that makes me getting deeper lost, i lost. but i trust that, this thing can make my relationship keep warm again but i was wrong, that pattern just made the new problem of my life and maybe that will be my topic of my mind to discuss my fault, i never do this to anyone just him. we already swim deep and deeper and lost in it. I don't have my boundaries when i am with him,

c. He just can realize that i always give my precious time to him, but i dont get what i give. it seems so dumb.

but , know . i do this because of long term relations that build me like this, he is so briliant, he makes a pattern that we should care all the time, and when the pattern already built, he just leave me with the term, and he does what any kind things that not in the rule before, now he has the new term and pattern, before just say i love you is not a big problem to complained, but now? everything just getting far, for just saying i love you. or just having one sweet word. i was hopeless in this relation but not easy to say how could i finish it.

d. i ever see him looking the guy so long, before when we started this relation, he just try to stay away from the girl who has a big boob maybe, but after i ave a relationship with him for a couple monts i feel like he has a constanly changing from her habit that he showed to me in the first sight and after couple months

e. i hate how he solve the problem. he has a little patience, and her ego is very high. i can't handle it, because i am not a good person too, i can't stay stable all the time with this situation.

f. you know why i am start this relation? because at the first meet, the first he said i love you, he just do the best to me, maybe he is very good in the honeymoon phase, i i just faalin love with the way he treated me before. and thats why i want to break, because i don't know why i still stay in here, is that just because i already close with his fam? that was outer reason, basically i still cpnfuse ehat is advantage of this relationship to my self, my self and myself, my heart my brain.

5. the mistake that i ever made in this relation

a. i ever overshared with other guy and he sees my chat, i know i am i his position, maybe i will be angery to.

b. i always have a short term decision, i already say lets broke up just because litte problem happend to us, my ego is very high, that's why it makes me feeling so worst and unconfortable with the relationship and just wanna get pver this. but, when i siad that, he always push mee, and dont want to break, he always find the way to said forgiveness and fix again.

c. i am an overthinked person, i ever angry with him just because i think he looked at someone else, and i ever angry just because o have a wrong perspective, i just said thst he calls other girls but it doesn't

d. i can't tell something good to him, it always stuck in my tongue thats why i can't said what i wannna said. it just burnt in my mind and it will be always getting big and bigger problem.

6. how our arguemnts look.

i hate to have argument with my partnert, because it seems so unhealthy debating, we just showing our power, no one try to keep understanding, but we just keeping fight mouth and heart. wh are so on fire when we have a problem, it happen so long day after 4 months i started my beautifull relationship.

[noshara]

hii! can i ask for mcl boys having drunk one night stand with some girl while their gf isn't with them at the party/club/y'know what i mean? thanks!

Hi! Omfg, that request almost killed me. You may not know that about me but I am sucker for drama so yeah. I love it. I hope you enjoy.

Drunk MCL boys cheating on Candy Nathaniel

Propably we was supposed to go on the party with Candy.

He didn't want to go at all but he agreed because of her.

Candy just got sick and she insisted he go for both of them.

He didn't plan to drink at all but the party was awfully long and peope annoyed him a little to much so he decided to have a glass of wine.

And them we met a girl who also was just sitting there drinking wine.

They talked, drank more wine.

At the end he ended at her place withou thinking abou it second time.

At morining he had big headache.

At first he thought that he is in his bed with Candy but quickly realized that White isn't here so that couldn't be his pace.

The girl wasn't in bed anymore. He saw her when he decided to move from the room. She seemed not concerned at all.

She just asked him if he wants breakfast or plans to make his way out.

He feels like the worst person ever.

He's also not so sure if he should tell Candy the truth.

Quickly drives that thought away.

He calls Candy to tell her the truth as soon as possible.

He is aware that she can want break-up with him but he's ready to take responsibility for his actions.

Castiel

That was just regular small party that he had in case of his career.

He didn't even want to bother Candy with it as he knew that she was really busy.

He just went by himself.

Usually at the parties everyone drink at least a little.

He was talking to many people but one girl kept coming back to him.

"She is pretty cute" he thought between drinks.

And then their conversation moved to one of empty rooms.

For some time he just forgot about the world.

Later realization hit him like a truck.

He knows that he did something terrible to Candy and to that girl as well.

He needs to go out to cool down a little.

He smoked few cigartettes and then decided to tell the girl the truth.

When he were done we just went home to Candy.

It was late but she still awake.

He felt guilt once again and then told her everything.

He's ready to be yelled at or kicked out and he perfectly knows that's what he deserves.

Lysander

He went to the party beacuase Castiel asked him to.

He was supposed to take Candy with him but she already had plans with one of hers friend.

He was fine with it, he just went alone and that was cool too.

At first he was a little awkward.

Some time passed and Lysander became less awkward and more loved by everyone.

Maybe the alcohol helped a little to break first ice.

We all know that women like men who are somehow mysterious and he was just perfect example of man like that.

It shouldn't be surprising that one of the girls was just way too determined to spend time with him.

He wanted to be polite, but alcohol also made their conversation smooth.

He walked her home after the party and let's say that she invited him inside and things went further quickly.

Morning after he doesn't remember single thing.

He got what happend when he realized that the girl sleeps by his side and his back are covered in scratches.

He kind of internally panicks.

Definitly apologized to the girl.

He's going to tell Candy and apologize as soon ad they will have chance to talk not in rush.

Feels extra bad and doesn't really think that he deserves next chance from Candy but still wants to be honest with her.

Armin

It's normal that people sometimes have friendly meetings with other people, right?

So Armin had one like that in the bar.

None of his friends brought their partner so he also didn't asked Candy to go with him.

Insted she has time to go out with her own friends so they both had chance to chill a little bit.

Everything was great — they talked and drank drinks of their choice.

And then one pretty girl sat next to Armin when he decided that he had enough. She had perfect long hair, long lashes and long legs.

She was also really confident. As soon as she noticed Armin she decided that this man will take her home tonight and she began flirting with him.

She acted nice so he decided to have one more drink with her.

And at the end — knowing that Candy is out — he really took the girl home.

When he wake up the girl still was in his bedroom. She was clothed now and looked at picture of him at Candy.

He was like "fuck I fucked up".

The girl left his place calmly without making a fuss.

Armin took shower to also clear his mind a little.

Later he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

He was walking evidence of his guilt with all those hickeys over his neck.

He's panicking until Candy is back home.

Kentin

Okay, he really didn't want to leave Candy at home but he promised to go and she didn't want to go with him.

He was a litte annoyed beacause he was there everytime she wanted him to meet her friends and when he wanted her to meet his friend she just refused to go.

Anyway he went alone.

The cousin of one of his friends joined them.

She was really kind and kind of pretty.

They talked for long time.

They drinked quickly like it was nothing.

And then they moved to her place.

He just stopped thinking about his actions and consequences.

He just wanted to enjoy the moment.

Very next day he feels just so bad.

He is disgusted by his own behaviour.

He can't even call himself "a man" anymore in his head.

Kentin knows that he has to be honest with Candy.

That's the only thing that is right in his situation.

He's going to beg for her forgiveness but won't be suprised if she will leave him.

#my candy love armin #mcl #my candy love headcanons #mcl headcanons #mcl nathaniel #mcl lysander #mcl kentin #mcl castiel #mcl armin #mcl hcs #my candy love kentin #my candy love nathaniel #my candy love lysander #my candy love castiel #my candy love

[waddlenut]

Masterlist of the masterlist - Harry Styles

I HAVE WRITTEN NONE OF THESE FANFICS, CREDITS TO THE WRITERS!

This is a masterlist of my reblogs :)

ONE DIRECTION

Fluff -

He doesn’t want to take advantage of you while you’re drunk (5/5)

You fall asleep on hijm in front of the boys (5/5)

Angst - 

You get mobbed by paparazzi (Harry and Louis preference)

The one where your house is on fire and you are asleep (Niall preference)

You pass out (Niall)

Tiger (Niall finds his girlfriend looking in the mirror, judging her appearance)

HARRY STYLES

Fluff -

Choosing her (y/n overhears Harry sticking up for her)

The one where you have a huge fight and you are sick

Not your fault (fav. y/n has epilepsy and Harry feels helpless. TW - minor graphic description of an epilepsy attack)

Y/N is in a wheelchair and she is grocery shopping with Harry

Just talk (fav. y/n has a minor speech impediment and one of Harry’s friend makes fun of her for it. She doesn’t know how to react, Harry does.)

Tea mugs and tear stains (y/n gets overwhelmed and Harry helps)

Harry jokes about your moaning

A white t-shirt (Harry find out about y/n’s scars. TW - mentions selfharm/scars)

Y/N vomits down Harry’s gucci suit and Harry couldn’t give a shit (TW - throwing up)

Y/N falling in the shower and boyfriend!Harry getting ultra worried

You’re deaf and Harry is besotted with you

Cus y’laugh is pretty (in which Harry gets his wiskom teeth removed)

Y/N is stressed and Harry makes everything just a little bit better

Coming out to Harry as bisexual (good ending, no worries)

Sweater (y/n cold and steals Harry’s sweater)

Periods, pads and pain (Y/N is on her period)

Holding him (just pure love and affection)

He’s just jealous (fav. a small kids thinks Y/N is pretty and wants to sit with her)

My muse (TW - camille)

My hero (Harry being protective)

You’re poor and he doesn’t know

The best doctor (Y/N has chronic migraines)

First class (the one when Y/N and Harry meet during a long flight, and Harry makes a new little friend too)             part 2

Your best friend negatively talks about you and Harry’s relationship and he overhears

Your english is so good yet, and someone makes fun of it. Harry does not appericiate that

The best gift (fav. Y/N can’t afford Harry’s life style. angst w/ fluff)

Right place, right time (fav. When someone starts following the reader, Harry is the prince on a white horse)

Harry points you out at his concert             part 2                        part 3

Y/N has an asthma attack at Harry’s place

Y/N gets drunk and uses Harry’s dick as a microphone

Y/N is breastfeeding in public and a man started saying rude remarkt to her, Harry knows how te react (fav)

Families meet (one where Harry’s family and Y/N Mexican family meet)

Her good baby (fav. Y/N has been really busy with a family program and kinda forgets about Harry. That’s until he breaks)

Spill your guts or fill your guts (based on spill you guts or fill your guts with Harry and Kendall but instead of Kendall it’s you)

Harry think Y/N and the kids forgot his birthday (fav)

CEO!Harry bring this baby angel to work, all fun until she gets lost

Y/N accidentally eating Harry’s edibles

Harry just cannot believe how much he loves

Harry and Y/N’s first thanksgiving in their home and a little announcement

Candy Wrappers (Harry loves candy, that results in a house full of candy wrappers)

Harry dating a curvy girl

Y/N and Harry’s home birth doesn’t go as planned

Under the canyon moon (dad!harry blowing raspberries into bubs tummy but they get a rash)

Y/N is in London while he is LA during quarantine (fav)

Quarantining with dad!Harry and your bub

Harry feels neglected when Y/N spends lots of time with Anne

Pregnant (where you’re pregnant during the corona outbreak and Harry is super protective)

Sunflower vol.6: the fic (fav. Y/N has tourette syndrome and Harry falls in love)

Bad days and good days (Y/N has depression and Harry takes care of her. TW - mentions of depression)

Mornings with the Styles family

Y/N following Harry around the house because she got scared watching a movie

Better than melatonin (Harry’s songs help you sleep)

Harry doing baby bubs hair in the bathroom while she’s facetiming Mitch (fav)

Harry helps you through childbirth

Anasthesia and letting go (reader has gotten their wisdome teeth removed and Harry takes care of them)

Getting naked in front of Harry for the first time

Harry reads Y/N a story to help her drift off to sleep

Want a chicken nugget (you’re taking a shower and Harry, knowing your love for chicken nuggets, comes and gives you one)

Rainbow cardigan (Harry loses his favorite cardigan. You learn how to knit)

My shy little boy (Y/N’s son is too shy to play with other kids at Anne’s house)

Golden dancing (fav. Harry is on stage singing golden and little Artemis comes running on stage and starts dancing)

Daddy (Artemis calls Harry daddy for the first time)

The first meeting (Y/N and Artemis met a handsome (to Y/N) and intimidating (to Artemis) man)

Watermelon suger (behind the scenes) (Shots of long-term girlfriend Y/N in watermelon suger. TW - some strong language)

Roses and vanilla (in which Y/N and Harry aren’t really close until Y/N falls in the shower, and Harry falls in love)

Babbles (bubby crying during a show just to get Harry’s attention so they can go on stage and babble into the mic)

No kids (H and his partner deciding not to have children)

Toxic family (fav. The reader doesn’t have the best family, lucky for them, the Styles are basically their family)

Harry’s son runs on stage

Listen to me (fav. Autistic!reader has a difficult moment)

Angst -

You pass out backstage

You have paranoia disorder

Can you leave? (fav. ceo!harry)

Complains (In which Y/N heard Harry complainging about her)

Taken (your abusive ex tries to contact you when Harry’s away on your. (TW - name calling and slight violence)

Autistic!reader has an interview with Harry (fav)

You get into a car accident when Harry’s in the middel of a concert       part 2 

Too busy for a baby (TW - harry’s an asshole + mentions of pregnancy)

Y/N gets anxiety at one of Harry’s concerts. (TW - anxiety and guns are mentioned)

He kicks you out of the car. (fav)       part 2

Long way down (the one where she tinks he’s being unfaithful, and he questions the trust in their relationship. TW - mentions of creating and pregnancy complications)             part 2 

The one where you have a huge fight and you are sick

There’s a rumor being spread about you

Remember me (Harry forgets your birthday)

Harry calls Y/N clingy and she leaves

Harm done (fav. Y/N makes Harry food but he doesn’t even like it)

Harry coming home to find Y/N locked herself up in the washroom

Don’t touch her (you’re in the crowd and somebody touches you while Harry’s performing. TW - sexual harassment and mild assault)

Why would you keep something like this from me? (In which she’s been feeling umcomfortable and doesn’t tell Harry. TW - mentions of assault)

Y/N and Harry get in a bad argument and Y/N gets a panic attack (TW - panic attack)

And I can’t give that to you (fav. In which Harry suffers from seasonal depression ands he doesn’t know how to help)

So tired (you join Harry on tour but he seems to have other prirorites. Angst w/ fluff on the way)                part 2

You have self-esteem issues (TW - talking about low self-esteem)

Y/N has an anxiety attack at a concert and calls Harry (TW - anxiety attack)

Even if it was momentary (in which Harry is forced to watch his worst nightmare)

Little white lie (a television talk show host feels you up backstage and you don’t tell Harry. TW - sexual harassment)     part 2

He hides the fact that he’s sick on tour form you and insults you when you try to take care of him

There’s an intruder in her house (Harry comes home to find his girlfriend is being threatenend by an intruder. TW - some curse words, mentions of sex & just in general subject of break ins and panic)

Narcissistic behaviour (Harry loves to talka bout himself, but it’s suppose to be Y/N’s special day)

Miss you (where Y/N loses Harry’s rose ring and he gives them the silent treatment)

Dizzy (Y/N gets hurt on Harry’s watch. TW - fainting/passing out)

Happy birthday (in which Y/N throws Harry a suprise birthday party, but Harry ends up making her cry)

Harry comparing you to Camille

Exhaustedly in love (Y/N passes out as soon as Harry comes home from tour because she has been studying day and night)

Go home (in which Harry is jet lagged and you’re completely humiliated)    part 2

Get out (Y/N is done with Harry being busy with work all the time)       part 2

Anesthesia and apologies (fav) 

Y/N has a condition that makes her have seizures (TW - mentions of seizures)

Harry loses his baby angel while shopping

Harry complains to the boys about Y/N and his sex life       part 2

You’re in love with Harry but your self-doubt won’t believe he’s in love with you

Don’t shout (Harry doesn’t know what to do after he lied to Y/N)

Make it up to you (Harry loses his temper and almost hits you. TW - almost being hit by a lover and swearing)

I’ll get there (Y/N has been struggling with her body image ever since she was a teenager, but now that she was becoming a big time model, it had only gotten worse. TW - mentions of eating disorders and symptoms similair to those of a panic attack)

Smut -

Harry comes home to Y/N being in subspace but he doesn’t realize

Needy baby (the one where Harry’s bakc from tour and his girl really just needs to feel him)

Shower head

Harry gets emotional because he loves you so much

Taste my lips, feel my touch (Y/N’s stuck in subspace and Harry helps her out of it)

Where Harry is an asshole CEO but Y/N is his little love

Happy anniversary

Y/N goes into sub space when she is overwhelmed, but now it happend in public

Then again sometimes I get really sweet (TW - belly humping)

This cutest thing ever

Crossing the finish line

Right choice (Harry has a moustache now and you want get it sticky. TW - swearings, sexual intercourse and a sticky moustache)

Timing (Harry cumming early and he is upset and disappointed)

Cause I’m high, chewing on your taste (TW - Sub!Harry, H in fishnets and pegging)

Out in the heartland (It’s Harry’s birthday and you have a very special gift for him. TW - daddy kink, pegging, anal fingering and rimming)

#one direction masterlist #harry styles masterlist

[hangekitty]

Hiii, I wanted to ask if you could write a f!Hange x fem!reader one shot where the reader is outside the Walls for a mission. Usually hange would be with them being their Partner and everything but for some reason can't. So when they come back they stand in the front row and search for their girlfriend but can't see her and the group is so much smaller so they already know what happend and there is only one thought in their head something like...nonono this is not happening right now.... a few days later a small group stands before the Walls and explain that they got seperated from their group when Titans attacked but managed to hide, find their horses and ride back at night. The reader goes to Hange and finds them in their shared room. Broken and hopeless, ready to give up and when the reader starts talking they think they are going crazy but when she touches them they realize that the reader is real and alive and just throws themselves at her and very gentle smut and fluff happens.

Okay sorry for my english and this was way too long😅

But I hope you decide to write this and if you do thank you soo much❤❤

Hange x f!Reader - Lost without you

Oh my I loved writing this. The thought of a grieving Hange is too much so I’m glad this is contains fluff and smut! Shoutout to @sweetfaun for grammar and editing checks! 🌸

Genre: fluff, smut, 18+

Warnings: subtle mention of suicide, fingering, tribbing

Word count: 3417

A/N: I listened to the “falling in love with Hange Zöe” playlist on Spotify by ObviouslyMoss whilst writing this if anyone is interested. I might keep music a running theme on my work. AFAB Hange - I may have accidentally made them a bit softer than usual but come on they are a big softie.

The life of a soldier in the scout regiment is one of duty and dedication. At any moment you could be asked to give up your heart, your life, and your soul for humanity. It is strongly advised that upon becoming a scout you are to leave behind all personal feelings and relationships as there is a possibility you will lose everything in a blink of an eye. This is something that is easier said than done, as despite the consequences each soldier is still only human.

Regardless of any warnings, there was no stopping squad leader Hange Zoe falling for their fellow squad leader – you. Perhaps it was the way you laughed with them, or how you helped them with their elaborate experiments, or maybe that one time you convinced Hange to shower with you. Hange was smitten, and fortunately so were you. Only the Gods knew what Hange would do without you, and if they were ever to lose you…. It simply wasn’t worth thinking about. You were everything to them, their reason to be alive; so, if there ever was a day that you were no more it would feel as if Hange had lost their entire world.

The two of you had dated for little over a year. The way in which Hange had asked if their feelings for you were reciprocated was adorable. They had thought to surprise you by naming the four titans being held in captivity ‘Will, Yew, Bee and, Myne’. Moblit had assisted with the entire thing, having taken the time to write up each name on an individual plaque and arranging them accordingly. Hange had everything set up, ready and waiting for when you were leaving a meeting and had sent Moblit to escort you back to the research labs. Upon your arrival, Hange grabbed your hand and excitedly announced that they had successfully caught four titans for experimentation. As you looked upon them, noticing the quaint plaques that featured a tidy penmanship – you assumed it must belong to Moblit, as Hange’s scrawl was illegible at the best of times.

“Will…. Yew…. Bee…Myne?” You read aloud and before you even had the time to process the play on words, Hange let out an astounding “Yes, of course I will!” and wrapped themself around you. Admittedly, you were confused at first, but you soon caught on and admitted your feelings for real.

From that point, you were always together. Whether it was on expeditions or within the lab, it was a rarity to see you two together. Commander Erwin had granted you permission to share a room together. Fortunately, so, as the constant charades of having to sneak into each other’s rooms at night were beginning to get exhausting. Soon it had got to the point where sharing your space with Hange had become second nature, and that you were unable to sleep without them by your side.

---

It was the Summer of 849, and Erwin had organised an unexpected expedition. It hadn’t been that long since the last and you wondered why there was such a rush to go beyond the walls once again in such a short period of time. The unexpected nature of Erwin’s plans meant that Hange wasn’t able to attend this expedition on account of two titans that were being held in the research facilities. Hange had named them Charles and Domery – peculiar names, but that was to be assumed of Hange Usually you would be expected to assist Hange with their research, however on this occasion your presence on the field was required due to you being a Squad Leader.

“It’s just two days, sweetheart,” you cooed as the both of you rested in bed. You were sat up, lounging back within the abundance of pillows, whilst Hange’s head rested in your lap as you attempted to hush them asleep by stroking their hair. Despite your attempts, it was inevitable that Hange would spend a majority of the night lying awake due to the anxiety pooling in their stomach. You two were practically joined at the hip by now, and every time you had to separate Hange found themselves unable to sleep. They had wrapped their arms around your leg, hugging it tighter with every minute that passed. They were so scared of losing you, and so any moment they had left with you they wanted to stay conscious.

“But, y/n, I won’t be with you,” Hange whined, the irregular softness of their voice tugging at your heartstrings. This was always the worst part of the job – having to leave your loved ones behind, unsure whether or not you would ever see them again. However, it was important. You had to do this for the sake of humanity; it’s what both you and Hange had understood and had committed to upon signing up for the Survey Corp. Sometimes you wished you could just run away together and leave it all behind. You cup Hange’s face in your hands, delicately stroking their soft cheeks with the pads of your thumb.

“I know, my sweet, I know. I’ll be okay, I promise,”.

---

Despite their being an air of doubt in their mind, Hange believed that you would keep your promise of returning unharmed. Whenever Hange was unable to attend an expedition, they were sure to stand in the front row of bystanders that were awaiting the return of the scouts. Five squads had left just two days ago, but it seemed that only three had successfully returned today.

“Erwin… Levi… Miche… Gelgar,” Hange listed off as they could see their companions passing through the gates. Their eyes frantically darted through the hoard to see whether you had snuck in, to see whether they had simply missed your arrival. Panic began coursing through their veins, but it soon began to settle as a majority of your squad came into view. Evidently, the group was smaller than when you had initially left for the expedition; and the remaining members were beaten and brushed – with one unfortunate soldier missing both an arm and a leg.

“No no no nonononono, this isn’t right. Where is she?!” Was all Hange could think. Blind panic took over, and Hange found themselves moving towards one of your squad members and demanded to know where you were.

“Where is y/n? Where is she?” Hange practically screamed. The looks on everyone’s face was grim; this wasn’t looking good at all.

“We were separated. The last we saw of Squad Leader y/n they were fighting off an abnormal. We waited for them at our usual checkpoint, but no one came”. One dishevelled soldier finally answered. At this point, Hange decided to just leave immediately – not even bothering to welcome their friends back. They crawled into your shared bed, curling in on themselves and taking hold of the sheets. Tears fell down their face as they attempted to conceal a painful, horrifying wail.

“This can’t be happening” they whimpered “You promised,”.

---

A couple of days later, Hange was still in the bedroom. The numbness they felt only allowed them to drink something that Levi bought in every few hours. He never said anything during these visits, only sitting on the bed with Hange for a while and then silently taking his leave.

Despite the agonising feeling in their heart, Hange still found it funny how they’d gone from being unable to sleep without your presence to continuously sleeping throughout the days. Perhaps it was as close as they could get to being with you, as you had seemingly passed into the next realm. Or perhaps it was just a sad coping mechanism as being awake felt far too painful. They were on the edge of just giving up and considering finding a new life away from the scout regiment. Admittedly Hange had felt disappointed in themselves, having allowed themselves to develop feeling and leaving them vulnerable to heartache. Through the darkest moments, they considering just ending it all in order to be reunited with you.

---

What Hange hadn’t realised is that you and the rest of the squad had returned days after everyone else. Albeit you were all looking a little worse for wear, but overall, you were okay. Upon hearing of your arrival Moblit had immediately sought after you. He clutched your hands into his own. A worried expression was painted across his face.

“y/n, you’re okay! What happened?”

“We were intercepted by titans and my squad had to split. We had no choice but to hide and wait until it was safe for us to come back. We all had to find and gather our horse – it wasn’t an easy feat. Then we had to ride back home during the night. I’m sorry we worried you”. You let out an exasperated sigh. Being a squad leader was difficult, made even more so by being left out in the field with no food or water.

Upon receiving news of your arrival home, Levi and Erwin had come to the courtyard with a few others, all armed with bread and water hoping to nourish both you and your squad.

“y/n, you’re alright” Levi began. Despite his apathetic face, he was pleased to see you. Before allowing you to gulp down your water he placed a firm grasp on your shoulder and looked at you directly. “Please let Four Eyes know you’re okay. They’re not doing too good, and it’s been quiet without them.”

You choke on your water upon hearing this. Oh Gods, how you have fretted about Hange and how sick with worry and anxiety they’d be. Honestly, you’d half expected them to rush out and greet you. However, you already knew that Hange had probably assumed the worst and went straight into mourning. Feeling a burning sensation in your throat as tears began to prick your eyes, you excused yourself from your captain – determined to not cry in front of him. Despite the deep exhaustion you were feeling, pure determination allowed you to rush back to your living quarters and towards your own bedroom.

---

Once you reach the entrance to your room, you have half a mind to slam open the door and leap straight onto the bed where you assumed Hange was currently laying. You imagined planting them with a million kisses, but you knew you had to take a gentler approach than that. When Hange was feeling fragile, all they needed was a soft touch.

You opened the door a little, only to be met with a groan.

“No thank you Captain, please leave me alone,” Hange muttered, curling in on themselves even more. Oh, how hollow their voice sounded, full of sorrow and guilt.

“Hange?” You gently called out. Immediately their head turned towards you. Was it really you? “I’m here, darling.”

Hange shot up immediately, staring at your face and drinking in your presence. You were smiling, ready to give them a hug, but Hange’s face wasn’t that of love but instead one of panic and confusion.

“No no, you aren’t real. I know you’re not there; you’re gone! My brain must be having a breakdown I- “

You interrupt their murmurings and reach forward to take hold of Hange’s hand, placing in onto your chest directly over your heartbeat. Their eyes dart between your face and their own hand. You could feel them trembling under your touch until realisation had set in.

“y/n, it’s really you!”. Their eyes began welling with tears, causing you to begin crying all over again. This time, however, it was with a smile. Hange lunged forward and held you tight to their body.

“WAAAAHHH!” They yelled out before tackling you to the bed, crying and wailing the whole time. “Y/N YOU’RE OKAY! YOU’RE OKAY!” they repeated, not realising you were practically suffocating under their intense grip on you. There they were arms around your chest and stomach whilst rubbing their face into your neck and squirming with pure joy.

“Hange!” you giggled “Hange, I can’t breathe!”. A little alarmed, Hange let go a little and positioned you in front of them. They cupped your face with both hands, smiling at you before kissing you intently. You would have thought it would be as rough as passionate as the hugs had been, but instead this kiss was gentle and meaningful. Hange pulled away and their eyes began studying your face.

“How…What happened?” They asked, their voice gentle and soft.

“Some abnormal titans had us cornered. We had to hide and then find our horses again. We couldn’t ride home until nightfall the following day, but I’m back now. I’m safe”

That was all the words Hange had needed to hear before pulling you into another gentle kiss. Whilst you were lost in such contentment, Hange reached down to touch your thigh; earning themself an excited yelp just because they took their chance and pushed further to stick their tongue into your mouth. This gentle, romantic kiss gradually became one that was more desperate, steamier. Their hands wandered down your body, touching every inch possible as if they still weren’t completely convinced you were real.

Hange pulled away, looking up and down your body with a mischievous look in their eye. Although you were tired, you felt an immense desire to just be taken there and then – to connect your bodies and become one. And how could you resist with the face Hange was giving you in that moment? They moved down your body, planting kisses and gentle nips whilst removing any fabric that they met along the way.

“It must have been tough out there,” Hange began as they removed their shirt – their binder soon following. “I missed you greatly,”

“I…I missed you too Ha-“ Your train of thought was interrupted as Hange began nibbling at your thighs. You could feel blood rushing to your cheeks as their dark brown eyes met yours.

“That’s what I like to hear. Now lay back and let me reward you for being a brave little soldier,” Hange purred before diving headfirst in between your thighs, laying further kisses and kitten licks at your soft, sensitive flesh. If Hange was to have glanced up to your face, they would have seen the stars in your eyes - your face to full of love and admiration. And it was all for them.

Noticing as Hange was getting close to your wet pussy, you shook yourself out of your trance. Panic shot through you, and you held a rather surprised Hange’s face in your palms.

“I…I don’t think I want that. I have only just got back and I…” You could barely finish your sentence. You were embarrassed. Several days of fighting titans without any opportunity to efficiently clean yourself had left you feeling self-conscious. Hange cocked their head to the side. You could see the cogs turning in their head as they worked out what exactly the issue was.

“Oh! Don’t worry, you’re absolutely fine. But if you don’t want that…” Hange lifted themselves above you, cupping you through your underwear. “Would something like this make you more comfortable?”. They smirked as you let out a squeak before nodding eagerly.

Hange leaned in, laying hungry kisses against you as they played with your clothed clit. The whines you let out against their mouth only made them increase the pressure through the fabric of your underwear, and you could feel their smirks as they did so. As Hange’s mouth travelled further south to latch onto a pert nipple they took the opportunity to slip a couple of things through the elastic of your underwear, stroking along your folds and now aching nub. You attempted to cross your legs at the sensation as you were already beginning to feel worked up and sensitive. Amused by your squirms, Hange let out a small giggle and moved their free hand towards your other nipple. You could already feel a build-up, a hot and heavy sensation as your lower abandon appeared to coil and tighten. They then slipped two digits inside of you, ensuring their thumb remained circling on your clit as they arched their fingers inside of you. Your soft moans became deep and shaky, you were sure you were getting close to your release.

“Hange~” you purred. Your words were golden to your lover, and you could feel them relentlessly pick up the pace until you reached out to pull their hand away from you.

“y/n?” Hange asked breathlessly against your chest.

“I want to try something together,” you cooed. Hange looked at you, their face both full of lust and curiosity. You began to reposition yourself, so you were now over Hange. Giving a cheeky grin, you pulled down their trousers and underwear. You then quickly whipped off your own underwear, leaving the both of you completely naked with no barriers between your skin. Manoeuvring Hange onto their back, guiding them to rest upon the abundance of soft cushions at the top of the bed, you nudged their knees apart to reveal their glistening sex. Hange was already wet and raring to go ahead with whatever you had planned. After a few strokes of your fingers against their folds, you positioned yourself between their thighs so that your own pussy was aligned with theirs. You reached your lips forward to suck and lick Hange’s tanned nipples before pressing yourself against them, rocking your hips back and forth; your clits throbbing as your slick rubbed against each other.

Whilst still sucking at Hange’s breast you reached under them and pressed their back up, increasing the pleasure below. It was a strange position, something you two hadn’t tried before, but neither of you were complaining. Undeniably, this level of intimacy was appreciated considering recent events. You couldn’t help but moan out, and you shot a look up towards Hange’s face which was contorted in pleasure as they let our their own breathy moans. To add to the intensity, you slipped one hand between the two of you, stroking your fingers against either of your clits. You turned your focus onto Hange, although both of you were feeling incredibly sensitive.

“I love you; I love you,” you moaned. You could feel the knot within your tummy releasing, and you clamped your eyes tight shut and moved to mark Hange’s neck with dark bruises. With a few more thrusts of your hips Hange soon released against your own fingers, letting out a shrill wail as they did so. You held Hange in a tight embrace, arms wrapped desperately against each other as if you never wanted to let go and basked within each other’s post-orgasm glow.

After your breaths levelled out and you calmed down, you flopped to Hange’s side on the bed. You scooted over, bringing their back against your chest as you spooned them. Continuing to wrap them tight in your embrace, you left quick desperate kisses against their throat whilst letting out soft words of affirmation against their skin.

“I thought I’d lost you,” Hange sighed, squeezing your hands as they rested against their chest. You left a gentle kiss against the back of their head and nuzzled into the crook of their neck.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, I never want to put you in that position again,” You said, beginning to stroke at Hange’s hair. You wiggled further up the bed and laid Hange’s head onto your lap once again. As you looked down at them you felt nothing but pure adoration. However, as Hange looked up at you you could see the beginnings of tears in those big brown eyes. They gave your hand a soft squeeze.

“Please tell me you’re going to stay for the next experiment. If you don’t I’ll just have to fight Erwin to keep you for myself,” they exclaimed, all traces of previous sadness now gone from their face as they punched their arms into the air.

“I promise I’ll stay. Anything for you, my titan crazed maniac,”. You planted a soft kiss against their forehead and relaxed back into the pillows. “We really should shower though”.

“Do we have to?” Hange groaned against your lap, barely audible against your legs. Even now you were convinced Hange was hydrophobic, but you knew exactly how to lure them into a warm clean shower.

“I mean, we could shower together?” you said, your voice sounding tempting. This clearly piqued Hange’s interest as they looked up with a cheeky grin.

#aot hange #aot smut #hange zoe x reader #attack on titan hange #Hange x reader #aot x reader #hange zoë #hange zoe

[bauwhores-blog]

Dandelions / j.b x reader/ angst,fluff

Maybe it's the way you say my name Maybe it's the way you play your game But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you

You were tired. Tired of being his second choice it was always Bella your sister. Bella this, Bella that. You were supossed to be his imprint and you loved him to the moon and back. But today your patience was long gone.

You found out about the kiss. You found out weeks after it happend and the worst part was that nor Jacob or Bella told you, it was Edward who did.

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

Broken and depressed was an understatement of how you felt memorys of you and your lover from the day you met until now come crushing like a wave of nostaglia.

‘‘You know staring is not polite’‘ you hissed  to your friend  standing infront of you. But he didn’t respond, he just stood there staring at you with a look of realisation stuck on his handsome face. You were in a middle of a fight.

You didn’t know what was going on but in the back of you head you did, ofcourse your thoughts were confirmed when he leaned down and kissed you, gently grabing your face with his hands. You kissed him back instantly,his lips felt like silk on yours .Your lips and bodies melting to the sweet and loving kiss. ‘’you can’t get hurt y/n, you just can’t.’’ he whispered.’’I won’t ‘’ and you kissed him again.

Cause I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile Wishing on dandelions all of the time Praying to God that one day you'll be mine Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time

You didn’t talk to Bella at all and you avoided Jacob. The only person you were talking to was your dad and occasionally Rosalie. At school you avoided everyone, especially your sister and her friends.It went on for weeks like this until you saw Jacob standing outside of your school hair wet and a sad expression on his face. 

You tried waking past him but his muscular hand cought yours and you stopped. You didn’t talk though  you just stood there not even looking at him ‘’please y/n talk to me’’as an answer you pulled your hand out of his grasp and went into the school without looking behind.The rest of your day went by as it normaly did.But Jacobs sad expression lingered in your head all day. 

I think that you are the one for me Cause it gets so hard to breathe When you're looking at me I've never felt so alive and free When you're looking at me I've never felt so happy

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

A week passed and there was no other encounter with the boy. You thought that he got over it which lowkey dissupointed you, and made you feel angry. You weren’t over him and if you wanted to be honest it wasn’t about that god damn kiss anymore. It was about your whole relationship and his true feelings for you.

You loved him to the moon and back, you knew that you wanted to be with him so badly but your doupts wouldn’t leave you in peace. But on the other hand you felt so happy when you would hug him , kiss him , touch him you felt alive and happy but most iportant in love.

Cause I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile Wishing on dandelions all of the time Praying to God that one day you'll be mine Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time Dandelion, into the wind you go Won't you let my darling know Dandelion, into the wind you go Won't you let my darling know that

A month passed and not a call or an encounter with the boy. It was because of Bellas wedding, I suppose he was upset that his one and only love was getting married. I was panning on not going to the wedding but mom made me do it so...

There was no other choice than to go to the wedding ‘’she’s your sister’’ with my moms words echoing through my head I started getting ready for hell.

I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile Wishing on dandelions all of the time Praying to God that one day you'll be mine Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

The weeding was beautiful, so was my cheat of a sister and the ceremony.She loved Edward I couldn’t say the opposit, but I’m pretty sure ther was a part of her that still loved Jacob Billy Black and I couldn’t help but think about it and get hurt.

Other than me sulking and falling into a deep deppresion, I had fun, untill I was asked to give a speech. Well fuck.

I got up and walked to the microfone, if a pin dropped you could hear it, my hills were the only thing that could be heard. I put a fake smile on and started.

’’ When you are little and you have siblings you fight all the time -the crowd laughed- but I particulary remember that me and Bells weren’t the case. We got along so well that mom and dad were worried. I’m happy it stayed that way. I remember when you were around 7 and I was 5, I told you that I wanted to get married your response was fake gaging-you chuckled along with the crowd- . Now we now that it’s not the case ofcourse. I’m happy for you Bells and I hope your life will be the one you dreamed for.You deserve it,you were and are always there for me you held my hand through rough times, when I woke up from a nightmare I new you were gonna be there taking care of me holding me and I know you are still here for me .Happy ever after sis, I love you to the moon and back.’’  

a tear slipped and I swore I saw Bella tearing up too, she did something I didn’t expect though. She got up and rushed to me to hug me. I hugged her back and she kissed my cheek . ‘’I love you too y/n/n’’

After the speech everything felt better, even though I did not forget what happened I feel more relaxed and stress free.

‘‘y/n can you come with me ?’‘ Alice asked me. The brunnete girl lead me to the house and into a guest room I supose, I got into the room and I saw the one and only Jacob Black I turned around to leave at once, but the door was locked -damn you Alice-. So yes I was trapped with my ex in room full of tension.

................................................................................................................................ok so...... long time no see??? Anyhow, there will be a part 2  or 3 idk but I don’t know when I’m going to wright it, but I promise it’s soon!!!!!

#jacob black imagine #jacob black x reader #twilight #twilight breaking dawn #taylor lautner #x reader

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

[errmeeipotato]

Why Rika and V deserve nothing. Rant/analysis

Spoilers for Saeran AE, Saeyoung secret endings and every route.

There is a lot to unpack here and I don't know if all of this is how Cheritz handle these two or it was for the story sake, but they did a terrible job and let me tell you why.

We are forced to forgive these two at least in three routes, and have literally no redeemable qualities whatsoever. We just have to look past all the crap they did and brush it off by saying it's ok, it's bad situations not bad people (I'm looking at you Zen). And the worst thing is that we are villanized for not wanting to forgive them (V's after ending, Seven AE, Saeran AE) but let's get more in depth.

Rika

We know she was abused when she was a child I get that, but that doesn't justify anything she has ever done.

She abused V

We see it pretty much in Saeran route and AE, Seven Secret Endings, V's route and AE. Since the beginning she was manipulative towards him and even assaulted him physically.

Blinded V

She hit V and cause corneal damage so he can prove how much he loves her. And we see she takes as a joke (Saeran AE) and has little to no remorse (Seven AE).

Killed Saeyong and Saeran's mother.

It was an accident, sure, but she did everything to hide what she did and make it look like the mother killed herself.

Lied to Saeyoung

She told him Saeran was safe and happy, when in fact she was abusing him in Mint Eye.

Abused Saeran

She verbally abused Saeran into believing he was worthless and he couldn't exist without her, split his personality in two, brainwash him into believe Saeyoung didn't love him, drugged him with the elixir, tortured him into fear and submission, chained and hit him (Saeran AE)

Kidnapped MC

She tricked MC and got her in Mint Eye, torture and brainwash her to the point she can't even talk (Ray bad relationship ending), locking her up in the basement dungeon (Seven after ending), getting MC into her apartment with a bomb (every other route), separate Saeran/Saeyoung from her.

Making a deal with Saeran/Saeyoung father and agency

Rika is gonna "save them" by having them prisoner in V's house, and if one of them calls the deal off the other is going to report everything to the media/law, however by the end of Saeran AE the agency is down and Saejoong turns him in and she gets away with everything she did. EVERYTHING.

Cult leader

She made a whole ass cult and abused/tortured hundreds of people not only that she had the audacity of trying to drug an entire concert hall of people with the elixir mixed in the wine.

Almost got Saeran killed

Either Saejoong beats him to death or he dies in the Mint Eye's explotion.

Stabbed V

She got SO mad because V wanted to rescue MC from Mint Eye so she just stab him, luckly Seven and Vanderwood took him to the hospital.

Lied to Yoosung and the rest of the RFA

We know how heartbroken was Yoosung, and probably in their routes they'll never know she's alive and doing all of this crap.

And yet with all of this we have to forgive and forget everything she has done, god forbid you have a little sense of justice and want her to pay for everything because you are pushed to believe you're the bad guy for wanting justice for everyone she damage. Even her parents knew her suicide has a hoax. But V has a lot to do with all of this.

V

Oh boii I've been reading how many people think Cheritz did him dirty in Saeyoung/Saeran and his own AE. But no, hear me out, he has no personality other than Rika, he's bland, and his route had no character development or any hint of romance with MC I don't think he needed a route. Also he is a big part of the problem.

Enables Rika's behavior

He knew about Mint Eye, Saeran and he didn't do anything until everything got out of his hands. He even agreed and planned the deal with Saejoong and not just that in the bad ending 1 (saeran ae) he uses the twins for his new collection, he lets Rika Chain Saeran (day 3) and guess what, he does nothing.

Got Saeyoung in danger

He was the one who took Saeyoung to the agency in hopes to "save him" however Saeyoung was in constant danger, and he never got a peaceful life, yet V would constantly exploit him. And almost gets killed by the agency

Worsen Rika's mental health

He just tried to solve everything with love, no just, no. Rika didn't need love like the sun she needed fucking therapy. He abuse her by neglecting her needs.

Hiding everything

He hide everything about Mint Eye and Saeran, he told everyone Rika comited suicide so no one ask about her, he knew why MC got in the RFA and he just brush it out and called a divine sign, he knew what happend with the twins mother and just swiped under the rug

Lied to the RFA

Not just with Rika's death, Saeran and Saeyoung situation, his wereabouts and his eye condition

Betrayed the RFA

He made Jumin and Mr. Han resign from the company, he put to sleep the rest of the RFA in the conference room so he can kidnap Saeran and made a deal with Saejoong and the agency.

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Overall I don't think these two deserve a redemption arc and/or forgiveness yet Cheritz shove that into out throats. Thinking that forgiving the person that hurt you helps you heal, in some cases it does but not this one. They handle this whole story poorly by label the cruelty and lack of responsability with mental illness

Let me know what you think and do 't let this flop

#mystic messenger #choi saeyoung #choi saeran #kim yoosung #kang jaehee #han jumin #mystic messenger jihyun #mystic messenger v #mystic messenger rika #saeran after ending #v after ending #saeyoungmysticmessenger #cheritz #mysme #dont let this flop

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

Ok, dear defence, Imagine this:

RWB just junped into the abiss after Yang, but when they get there, the first thing they is Summer and Raven chatting like nothing ever happend, Tay arguing with Qrow about stuff (probably cause he smashed something on purpose and is blaming his semblance to get out of it). As they watch all of this, Ruby just collapses on the ground sobbing upon seeing Summer alive and well, but, because this is Yangs ilusion, she can't interact with Summer or anyone else beyond Yang. As they continue searching for Yang they see themselfs with her, but it's the them from beacon time, and they try to interact with "Yang" and by doing so they realise, that's not the real Yang, but if she isn't, were on this hell is real Yang!?

Then, why they find her she's falling apart cause, she want's to interact with Summer, team RWB, but she can't cause that's only just and illusion

Most people that go for Yang being broken in the abiss say that she will be reeliving her worst memories, but I think that seing your own perfect world with the people in it but being stuck just watching and knowing it will never be complitly true and she will never have the chance to live in it, I think it's far more painfull

- Kitty anon :3

Ahh... the ever classic “Everything you’ve ever dreamed of but you’re doomed to watch it be just out of your grasp” trope. Always deliciously painful to see, eh, Kitty anon?

Just imagine it from Yang’s POV, though. She sees Summer and just can’t stop herself from running up to her as she often did as a child... but as she goes to wrap her arms around her, she phases through her, stumbling and trying to regain her footing. Anxiously, she calls out for her mum but she receives no answer. Slowly, one by one, she goes to each of her loved ones, she’s becoming increasingly distressed as she all but pleads with them to see her, to hear her, to acknowledge her... until finally she comes across Blake and she sees Blake turn to her and she gets this loving, delighted smile on her face... only to run right through Yang and into the fake!Yang’s arms.

But then she hears and feels three familiar voices and arms wrap around her. She looks up, unable to quiet believe it at first but it’s them. Ruby, Weiss... Blake! Despite not knowing what waited for them, they still dove into the abyss... just for her!

Can you imagine how she would react? How it would feel to be the girl who’s always left behind only to have the three most important people in the world throw everything away just for the mere chance of bringing you home? Because you mean that much to them?

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby volume 8 spoilers