#I am so emotionally unstable lmao

[gab-has-adhd]

i was the last anon... omg u replied!! did not expect that tbh 😭😭 & yeah i don't *actually* hate illumi, in fact i think it'd be near impossible atp because. a) he's way too relatable + b) i adore his character, and his family and his everything bc of how complex he is. he's amazing. stunning. jaw-dropping. horrendous. terrible. terrifying. all at once & I Appreciate Him So Much (tm) for it :]

also speaking of illumi... i am so interested in kikyo. like ik a lot of people in the hxh fandom find her irritating (she is sometimes) but she's a mother too - specifically the zoldyck's mother - and i think as a character, she would have such an in-depth backstory that we haven't even gotten into yet (at least from where i'm currently at rn in the manga lmfao.. manifesting the future chapters give us more abt her bc i Need to know everything about her history in meteor city 🙏)

another thing abt ur reply - UR SO RIGHT ABT WANTING TO BEHAVE LIKE ILLUMI 🙁🙁 as someone who relates to his trauma & thought process, me and him cld not be more different fr. i am too Fiery. i get into too much Trouble for losing my temper at the Worst times. illumi tho?? he looks emotionless (even tho he's not) but i need that kind of detachedness to get around w my daily life 😭 god made me traumatized but not cold as ice How is this fair Please i need a life refund T___T

im so sorry omg i keep writing essays in these asks 🙁 anyways i also hope u have a great morning/day/evening!!! its almost 12am i need to get back to studying for exams LMAOO hope ur doing well tho (drink water bff)

Hi again anon! 🌸 thank you for sending me another ask ufufufu it's almost 5 am for me but it seems I'm going to hae a sleepless night aGAIN for some reasons gnsngmsmcj

Good luck for your exams! I sincerely hope you'll be successful <3 and please never worry about sending me essays hahaha I love it very much 💕

I agree so much with you on Kikyo! I am usually not very big on female characters for some reasons but kikyo is so cool! I need to know more about her! I like her fucked up personality though lmaooo she is a Zoldyck indeed 🙏 like yes she IS irritating but it's because she literally is the MOTHER in a FAMILY OF ASSASSINS I think at this point every Zoldyck is allowed to be irritating LOL

I truly hope Togashi will give us more about her. She's from Meteor City after all, who knows what crazy things happened to her back there! Also I desperately need to know how she met Silva and how they fell in love.

Where are you currently in the manga? Just wanna make sure I don't drop any spoiler material if you send me more asks ufufu!

ALSO OMG I FEEL YOU SO MUCH ABOUT NOT BEHAVING LIKE ILLUMI. Like sure he probably behaves like this because he was deeply traumatized but... look I have ADHD and BPD, nature wasn't very nice with me. The combination makes me extremely impulsive, extremely emotive and very easily angered. My behavior is basically an emotional rollercoaster LMAOOO I just wish I was able to keep a cold face like Illumi 😭 who knows maybe his emotions are wild in his brain but at least he's able to completely conceal them. This is a skill I would appreciate having.

Instead my traumatized dumb ass self decided to gift me the ability to hide my upset-ness until I eventually explode. Which is. A pretty unhealthy behavior LMAO but I'm working on it :)))

Who knows, maybe one day Illumi is going to explode too 😶 not saying I actually want him to explode but somehow I think I would get so emotional if it ever happend to him. Like. Illumi breaking down nervously and. IDK crying maybe. This sounds wildly out of character but wow...

#gab replies #anon #hunter x hunter #hunterxhunter #hxh #kikyo #kikyo zoldyck #illumi #illumi zoldyck #zoldyck #zoldyck family #*sends support for exams* #BPD #ADHD #I am so emotionally unstable lmao

[respondedinkind]

|| Today is a 'my god Khan is so pretty' day. I am embracing it enthusiastically. :]

#out of character #(my god why is he?) #(just why?) #(like why khan is???) #(hng.) #(also I love him so very dearly and I am going to smooch his face all day.) #(my precious misunderstood violent emotionally compromised slightly mentally unstable man with questionable morals) #(lmao)

[derelictdumbass]

lays in bed face down thinking about hurt comfort and sobbing uncotrollably into my pillow

#nadine is typing... #LISTEN. SHUT UP #listen. #it's only at 12 am that my mind can come up with these banger ouchies specifically catered to me #this always happens after I make violent Dean content I gotta go all what if he just yearns to be soft and gentle and loved #and what if he's always on the edge of snapping bc Joseph is always offering him the peace he craves so deeply #what if we wants to stop fighting bc he's been fighting since he was born and he's tired #that's one of the reasons his and Jacob's dynamic drives me feral bc like #they are both survivors who have been fighting since forever and they will kill to protect themselves and their family #but Dean got to be soft for a while. he got to enjoy normal life while Jacob was off doing his Hannibal arc #and Jacob just brings all that repressed anger and survival instinct out in Dean during the reaping #he pushes him to the extreme and is trying to morph him into the part of him he hates most #which is in stark contrast to Joseph trying to break him down to be docile and pliant #they rlly fuck each other over with their very diff plans for Dean lmao #meanwhile John and Faith are just in the bg having emotionally intense moments with Dean that are entirely too vulnerable and fragile #tired rambling anyway the hurt/comfort is Joseph/Dean themed tonight and I think they should kiss #I think Dean should get to crumble and break into tiny pieces and cling to Joseph like he's a lifeline #a very unstable lifeline that is actually dragging him further underwater but still :) #days are full of cramming to get this diploma fucking done 12 am is full of yearning

[arytha]

oh i am *miserable* tonight

#i can feel my blood in my veins and if hurts #moved too much during the day <- and yet didnt move much at all #emotional part of brain is offline i am just in pain #took some pain meds tho so hopefully it'll fade a bit #the buzzing in my head lol #mara's shit #i hate complaining. it might not look like it #but either i complain here or i alarm my partner so. this is how it goes #gomen. im so tired of this month of constant pain and full body fatigue and brain fog #like my showers wind me enough i have to rest for 20 mins after before i can even brush my hair #so like. idk #so many people have it worse than me tho lmao #im now feeling stupid <- has been emotionally unstable and knows it

[birchbow]

How exactly do moirails work? I keep getting confused between what constitutes a matespiritship and moirailegence. I know that moirails are able to help sooth and calm but I feel that there is way more to moirails than just that and I’m having a hard time understanding.

Ahhh, well, this is one of those things that's really only defined in-comic in a fairly skeletal way, and the form it takes in fics is always going to be like 50% headcanon, minimum. And in my case probably more because I've been fascinated by the concept of non-sexual romance/intimacy for a long time and so I've written a LOT of pale content lol. SO here's some rambling about moiraillegiance, which I'm pre-emptively putting under a cut because I know myself.

First, a brief review. Pale-related things we get in the canon, at a quick top-of-my-head scan, are basically:

some trolls are a more emotionally unstable/violent and will find somebody who complements their personality and helps keep them from murderously flying off the handle.*

of the four quadrants of relationships trolls are expected to have, this is not a concupiscient (sexual) one** but it is a (positive emotions toward your partner) one, which Karkat and the narration frame as "pity" (see "****")

At one point, a scene that appears to be setting up for a death-match is defused by one party shh-ing the other one and patting their face until they calm down, from which fandom took 'shooshing" and 'papping' as terms, from the sound effects in those panels.***

talking about your thoughts and emotions is mentioned several times in the context of pale relationships****, and I believe at one point called a feelings jam although I don't have it in me to dig back and see if that one is canon

that is the canon stuff that occurs off the top of my head

*how much of the part where the narrative explains quadrants is biased (because of what a shitshow Alternia is) is up for debate **fandom interpretation varies on this from "having sex with your moirail is a huge taboo" to "it's totally fine, it's just not one of the quadrants the drones demand contributions for". ***And also where I (and quite a few other people I would guess) started thinking about trolls having separate, alien instincts and responses to stimuli that humans would find relatively unremarkable, like having their face patted or having somebody shush them ****Alternia aggressively punishes perceived weakness to the point that seeing another troll being vulnerable and not killing them for it is narrated as "pity" which is the closest we seem to get to an Alternian-culture concept of "love". ANYWAY that probably has a finger on the needle RE: how exclusive it is to ONLY talk to your moirail about your feelings, because they're in a relationship with you and therefore hopefully won't cull you for it.

Things that are NOT canon include: most of it lmao. If you wanted an itemized list of things in my Troll Society writing that were made up almost entirely whole cloth, we would be here all day. Moving on!

When it comes to writing pale vs flushed, I mostly go by vibes, tbh lol. I suppose if I had to organize my criteria a little bit,,, I am going to spitball. Bear with me.

Pale looks at its partner and goes "I see the things wrong with you, and instead of culling you for them, we are going to fix them" and also "the place where we both are is a place we're both steady and safe" (passive/steadying/protective),

and flush is more like. "I see the things wrong with you, and instead of culling you for them I'm suffering them with you" and also "the place where we both are is a place where we Want More" (active/passionate/aggressive I guess??? Can't find the word).

or to rephrase

pale->unpicking feelings, controlling violent impulse, steadying emotional state, physical touch to invite a sort of subspace-adjacent hazy alien-arousal-that's-not-arousal.

flush->passionate, intense, active attraction, sometimes kind of violent! sometimes too passionate for its own good! Physical touch to work each other up and drive each other higher in a positive way (hopefully) (mostly) (trolls are violent assholes tbh)

I DON'T KNOW DUDE there's no guide for this stuff lol. As evidenced above, canon basically has just like a skeleton framework, so we are all out here putting these lines down ourselves.

Making this more complicated: regardless of what the author of any given fic headcanons as the social norm, it also makes sense to me that there are variations in trolls just like in humans. I usually don't write my pale pairings fucking, but it seems reasonable and inevitable to me that some trolls would be into that! Or trolls who were attracted to concupiscient quads but didn't want to bone down, although that's dangerous and untenable for reasons mentioned in previous asks.

fig 1: Meenah and Kurloz's swinging back and forth² from the (hate+fucking) quadrant to the (love/pity+no fucking³) quadrant in PoF felt like it came naturally as I was writing, because what else are two of the oldest, most powerful trolls in the universe going to do, when each of them is the only person around who comes close to actually knowing the other enough to hate/pity?

²Switching back and forth between quadrants is actually called "vacillating" and seems to be a fairly common event in troll society and media--the blurring/combining pale and pitch that they're doing is the more scandalous part, according to general fanon ³I have always preferred to write pale relationships with a lot of the traits my culture associates with sexual relationships (nudity, intimacy, an industrial porn complex lol) but to cut the sex and leave the rest and play with that contrast. How much of that is because I'm personally not sexually attracted to people, and I'm deeply Emotions about a society recognizing that kind of relationship as crucial and desirable??? I mean idk boss y'all don't pay me for introspection lol.

ANYWAY that also means the boundaries of what any given troll defines as "too much intimacy not to be pale" or "the feelings you're talking to me about are too personal for this not to be pale" or "you're touching me in a way that seems pale (or flushed)" are going to be different, which makes this extra hard to answer. Example!!

When I write Kurloz, I write him with an old-fashioned and strict view of what quadrants entail, but also being too old and above too many laws and social norms to give much of a shit about whether he blurs those lines or not most of the time. The little nods to things like it being slutty In His Time to wear your hair short and show off the roots of your horns hopefully bring across some of the cranky old man vibes lmao.

VERSUS when I write Karkat, I'm writing a much younger guy who spends a ton of time thinking about relationships and watching romcoms, synthesizing his own very in-depth thesis of What Feelings Are--and also just coming from a much younger generation. He's not nearly as comfortable blurring the lines, but he also places those lines in very different spots than Kurloz does.

TBH follow your heart haha it's just an alien sandbox and we're all just slapping sand around.

#ask time! #Price of Forgiveness #this is a long-winded way of saying ''eh I mean have fun with it'' but hopefully there's some helpful shit in there somewhere lol

[renaissancefailmarriage]

prufra? Tell me more!

ooh anon where to start....

to me, prufra are most interesting in the 19th century for a number of reasons. gilbert is at his most powerful but also (after 1866) his most isolated--he's spearheading german unification the way HE wants it. at the expense of everyone else thinking he's a miserable cold-hearted bastard. so in that way he's at his most emotionally vulnerable too. he tells himself he doesn't care, because he's not a human man, and he has a Purpose by the name of ludwig, so he doesn't need anything else, right? right!

meanwhile françois is still smarting after the failure of napoleon's empire and a series of unstable governments. he finds himself becoming more philosophical, less of a party animal, less directly involved in government and political intrigues....needing a challenge basically. he remembers gilbert's smug fucking face after waterloo and is like hm. i think i will have an affair with this man and psychosexually destroy him. (he does initiate a friendship for other reasons--it's good diplomacy, he finds gilbert genuinely interesting and strange, know your enemy, etc.) françois feels the need to reassert his power by fucking the most unfuckable guy in europe.

gilbert feels a lot of conflict and shame over this because most of the other german states are still wary of or outright hateful of france at this point. iirc a lot of german national identity in the 19th century was explicitly defined against france, so it's like betraying his entire purpose. but i hc gilbert as someone who has always been very chaste and had very few romantic/sexual experiences, and at this point it kinda bites him in the ass--he's never had someone really making an effort to get in his pants before and isn't very good at defending against it. he keeps putting himself in romantic situations with a hot frenchman who's been reliably flirting with him and thinking okay but THIS TIME, i won't be seduced. and then he is. and he's mad about it. but he keeps doing it! he keeps answering the letters, and accepting the invitations to lunch, and going to the opera together, and picnics in the country, etc etc etc.

and it doesn't help that françois is very genuine, amiable and charming. like yeah, he IS plotting, and he will ultimately look out for number one, but come on, they can have a little fun until the next war, can't they? this is the kind of doublethink that gilbert has a hard time with, he's a very all-or-nothing kind of man. but it's a perfect storm of circumstances, and he ends up exploring his bisexuality with the worst possible person in the worst possible circumstances.

I think they both get more than they bargained for with it--françois develops some feelings deeper than just vague fondness, and finds himself actually a bit hurt that gilbert is so secretive and ashamed of what they're doing. gilbert gets better at initiating and asking for what he wants in his efforts to be In Control Of The Situation, but faces the same issue of oh no, genuine feelings. while also raising ludwig in a very strict, austere and covertly homophobic way. oops.

the affair lasts roughly from 1869-1900 (yeah they fuck the first time like one year before the franco-prussian war starts, lmao) but gilbert breaks it off very callously because ludwig is getting older and wwi is on the horizon. the way he justifies it to himself is well françois won't be very hurt and neither will i, because françois is a slut who can easily go back to arthur or find someone else, and i am a machine, not a man. he is so embarrassingly wrong about this. both of them feel awful and don't talk about it for literal decades. if they're together in the modern day it's not until ~1995.

#THATS MY MANIFESTO THANK U ANON #hws france #hws prussia #prufra #frapru #my headcanons #text #historical hetalia

[super-paper]

Long ask btw, but I loved the incredible Armored Might post, especially after so many bad takes that I've seen about it. People keep calling him a hypocrite because it "goes against what he said in chapter 1" -as if Toshinori changing his mind after 400+ chapters of character development isn't possible- , or calling him selfish for not using the suit to help Izuku during the dark deku arc, or that he's reducing his students to quirks and going against their wishes of saving villains by using their quirks to inflict violence on AFO. I even saw the insane argument that "he was wilfully complicit in the mutilation and murder of his students" because he didn't join Endeavor or saved Bakugo. I've seen this fandom call him all type of stuff, from abuser to groomer, and even kidnapper. That he's manipulating Izuku for selfish reasons, and he's the most toxic influence in Izuku's life and should stay away from him. But to see fans actually claim that Toshinori, of all characters, purposely left his students and other heroes suffer and die just so he could get a grand entrance later on is one of the worst takes I've ever seen. WHO is this character these people are talking about?? What manga are they reading even????? So yeah, your post is refreshing in the midst of all negativity. I personally love Armored Might. The art is stunning (as always), the little details of Nanas color squeme are so sweet, the mecha suit looks so cool!! His unhinged attitude and feral expressions!! I LOVE ALL THOSE EXPRESSIONS! And while I'm not a huge fan of Class 1A, I found Toshi using his students quirks to help him fight as a way to honor them, to be very endearing. I know a lot of people were getting bored and tired of AM vs AFO and wanted the focus to shift to others, but I was enjoying every bit of that fight. I missed seeing the focus on Toshinori after being sidelined for so long, I loved seeing him fight again, and learn more about him and seeing the payoff of his character arc. I loved seeing him SMILE! And a real smile too! I was worried about how this would go, with the death flags and prophecy, however I think hori has so far handled Toshi's character beautifully :)

Thank you for the kind words! 🥹

"I've seen this fandom call him all type of stuff, from abuser to groomer, and even kidnapper. That he's manipulating Izuku for selfish reasons, and he's the most toxic influence in Izuku's life and should stay away from him. But to see fans actually claim that Toshinori, of all characters, purposely left his students and other heroes suffer and die just so he could get a grand entrance later on is one of the worst takes I've ever seen."

Yeah man I can't believe Toshi poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague unto our houses. 😔

Picture related: The face of MHA's true villain (AFO who??)

I even saw the insane argument that "he was wilfully complicit in the mutilation and murder of his students" because he didn't join Endeavor or saved Bakugo.

Yeah, what I've been finding most baffling is that the people who are raking Iron Might over the coals for being a "suicide mission" and claiming that it "ruins Toshi's arc" are usually the same ones who argue that Toshi should've helped out in the fights at gunga/UA (where Toshi’s chances of actually being killed for realsies would’ve quadrupled bc prime AFO and Tomurafo would've been gunning after him at full health and with comparatively sound minds lmao). Iron Might was an untested last resort and it was only effective in the first place bc everyone at gunga wore AFO’s HP bar down and made him super emotionally unstable in the process-- but pointing that out is something else that gets met with derision from a lot of fans lmao.

Anyway, I feel that most of the arguments against Iron Might (esp. the argument that Toshi is falling back into bad old habits and trying "shoulder everything by himself") are ultimately lacking in both bite and sincerity-- because most of the time they completely disregard the whole of his arc, the context behind his decision to step in, and the multitude of events that led up to his stand off with AFO. Like:

Toshi legitimately trusted that the heroes at gunga would finish off AFO (and as much as I love punking on Endeavor, we do need to give credit where credit is due-- Endeavor did succeed in killing AFO. for like. five seconds. lmao.), but no one could have truly expected that AFO would have access to rewind.  

Toshi trusted that the UA fortress group would be able to contain TomurAFO, but no one could have expected that Himiko would yeet Izuku away from his intended battlefield (or that Kurogiri would later yeet Aizawa away from the fortress).  

Toshi trusted Shouto and Iida to stop Touya-- he had unshakable faith in Iida's speed and Shouto's phosphor, and hey, that belief in his students was rewarded! (and this point is especially important because if Toshi hadn't stepped in and encouraged Shouto to put his family/Touya first, Shouto would have chosen to confront AFO instead and *literally* everyone at Gunga would have died). 

But to see fans actually claim that Toshinori, of all characters, purposely left his students and other heroes suffer and die just so he could get a grand entrance later on is one of the worst takes I've ever seen.

Yeah, exactly.😭 This is another example of what I mean when I say their arguments lack sincerity bc like. The last time we actually saw Toshi in the control room was immediately after Touya got "defeated" at Kamino, when everyone at UA/Gunga was completely fine and the heroes actually thought they were gonna get an easy win (R.I.P, my guys-- never let anyone tell you u didn't shoot for the stars lmao). The next time we see Toshi, he's leaving the control room in a *flashback* panel-- so it's pretty heavily implied from this panel alone that Toshi left the control room the moment things started going south for the heroes. So like. He was rushing to help them as soon as it became apparent that they needed it and not just waiting for the perfect moment to "step in and steal all the glory."

Anyway, Toshi himself does not view his last stand against AFO as as him ~once again doing everything by himself~. He makes it very clear that the only reason he can stand up to AFO in that moment is because of the bonds/blessings/help he has received from others. The narrative doesn't treat this fight as Toshi shouldering everything alone, either-- and neither should the readers. 

I missed seeing the focus on Toshinori after being sidelined for so long

Yeah, the Toshi fans definitely deserved this. I'm glad they not only got their food, but a four-course-five-star meal.

#mha spoilers #sophie.txt #thank you for the ask!

[klvm0nn]

Pretty Agnes…I MEAN PRETTY AGATHA!

Actually, her being Agnes, Billy’s sister, should be a spoiler…But I don’t have lots of subscribers to make y’all wait. So here she is!

So! What’s her lore? (Contains spoilers to her and Billy’s backstory, obviously)

When Billy was 4 years old, his mother married another man and gave birth to Agnes. (Billy’s father drowned when the boy was a toddler)

Agnes is Billy’s MOST favorite person. And considering the terror he received from his religious society, he was frightened by what horrible things could happen to her. When Agnes was eleven and Billy was fifteen, he realized that the time has come.

Did you know that in religious society, when puberty heats you, especially when you are a girl, your life mode switches to hardcore? Billy knew that. But how a sociopathic, mentally unstable and traumatized teenager could save his sister and rid off the problem?

He decided to murder his stepfather.

The attempt was failed, though. Did he really think he could kill a grown man? Lmao. However, he caused serious injuries and left Agnes’s father disabled for the rest of his life. Billy was sent to the mental asylum and little Agnes spent her youth all alone.

Does she love Billy? No. First of all, she was brainwashed by her parents. Second of all, she was too little to memorize how much he loved her. Probably she doesn’t even remember him or his appearance clearly.

Growing up, Agnes became less tbh creature and more Regina George. In a contrast to her 😝greasy😝 old brother, she managed to be really beautiful. She knew that. She also knew she wanted to be a star as her talent for singing, performing and dancing couldn’t be unnoticed. However, no one was happy about it, as religious people consider "stars" to be whores. Did Agnes care? No. Just like her brother, she’s a REBEL‼️‼️‼️

One day, without permission, she ran away from home to visit an audition in city. Spoiler! Agnes didn’t manage to make it, probably because of transport or smth like that.

A disappointment to your family. Agnes was not welcomed in her home anymore. Broken and lost she had to become a nun as there was no other good option. She took a new name and started a new life there, meanwhile planning on her another visit to the audition. Agnes isn’t really religious, she just uses the monastery so she has a roof over her head. Somehow she became really popular there, nuns usually try to impress her for some reason. Probably because emotionally and spiritually Agnes is really strong and she wins over people.

That’s all for now I guess!!! There’s more information about her, but I am soooo tired so I’ll probably just make more art with her so you don’t have to read such massive posts. Sorry if I have any mistakes, it’s literally 2 AM and I’m veeeerrrryyy sleepy. HOPE Y’ALL ENJOYED MY PRETTY AGNES’ BACKSTORY_(:3 」∠)_

#attica #black christmas au #agnes lenz #black christmas #black christmas 1974 #art #artwork #billy lenz

[notreblogs]

i kinda hate being so emotionally unstable as a male adult man lmao I wish I could just accept me for the anxious mess I am and realize that's not a thing exclusive to young adults

#im 31 #I feel like I'm gonna make it past 40 and I'm still gonna be a wreck #vent #rant

[summerwritesfics]

🔥❄️A Fading Memory When My Mind Is Frozen

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 8179 Words Rating: Mature Warnings: Canon Divergence, Tarkatan Clone!Kuai Liang, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Crisis, Angst, Distrust, Mild Gore, Hunting, Animal Death (Very brief and is in the context of hunting), Past Character Death, Emotionally not safe for Kuai (Like he’s pretty physically safe in this one but emotionally he’s going through it) Non-Consensual Body Modification (at least… that’s what I’m implying here) SubScorp Week 2023: Experimentation

SubScorp Week 2023 Masterlist

Notes: I am aware this is such a late post, and in my own defence, I did actually post it on AO3 during SubScorp Week itself, I just never got around to cross posting it here lmao. I’ll be honest last month I completely revamped this blog, and ever since I’ve kinda been dying to post again. Am I back off hiatus? Eh, not really. But y’know… I’m trying & MK1 releases next week so y’know… the plot bunnies will probably be hopping around a bit :) Fic title is from “Frozen” by Celldweller.

Hanzo entered the room with extreme caution.

These Flesh Pits were Shang Tsung’s pride and joy, the place he worked on his most depraved experiments. While it was unguarded, it was highly likely there would be some form of trap to discourage intruders. He had to be careful.

They all knew about Mileena now, the half Tarkatan clone of Princess Kitana. It was as twisted as it was sad. Despite everything, Hanzo did feel a strange sympathy for Mileena. She had never asked to be made, especially not like this. Maybe one day, they’d be able to make her see she was another victim and that they didn’t have to be her enemy.

That, however, was something to tackle another day. The current issue at hand was if there were any other experiments that Shang Tsung was working on.

Hanzo had rather drawn the short straw on going to investigate.

He heard broken glass crunch under his boot, as he glanced around. There were many strange body sized pods, although they were all completely empty. Hanzo assumed it was where the clones were grown. His eyes were drawn to a board across the room, with various papers pinned to it. He took a quick glance, but nothing really made sense to him, they just looked like general anatomy drawings you’d find in a collection of field notes.

A bubbling sound caught his attention as he turned on his heels to see where it came from. Over in the corner, a green light glowed ominously. He pulled his kunai out of his pocket, as he slowly approached the glow. As he got closer, he realised it was coming from another pod. Only this one seemed to be filled with a thick green liquid, a shadowy figure could just about be seen inside.

So, it seemed there was at least one more clone in Shang Tsung’s possession.

As Hanzo stood in front of the pod, he realised there was a small plaque on the front. Engraved into the metal were the words “Kuai Liang” . Hanzo raised an eyebrow. Kuai Liang? What does that mean? It sounded like Chinese, but he was far from an expert. He suddenly wished one of the Shaolin had accompanied him.

The liquid bubbled again, the shadow twitching slightly. Was this another Mileena, or could it be someone different? If this clone was as unstable as Mileena, then it could be dangerous to let them free. He supposed he wouldn’t know unless he opened the pod.

Despite his head screaming at him not to, he reached forward for a button he assumed would open the pod. There was a strange whirring sound, and then the sound of rushing water, as slowly the green liquid began to lower and drain. Soon it was low enough to reach the shadow, revealing raven black hair. Hanzo hissed, it really could just be another Mileena.

But then the clone's face was revealed, and Hanzo had to do a double take at what he saw.

Because the face on the other side of the glass was Bi-Han’s.

Or at the very least, it was close to Bi-Han’s. There was a large scar down the side of the clone’s face, as well as the signature Tarkatan teeth. Strangely, the clone also seemed to be a fair bit shorter than Bi-Han too.

The questions began turning in Hanzo’s head. Why did Shang Tsung make this clone? Did The Lin Kuei want this clone made? Did Bi-Han know about it? Hanzo doubted he’d have let anyone go to the flesh pits if he did. What could possibly be its purpose?

The whirring finally stopped, before there was a loud click. The door to the pod slowly creaked open. Still the clone did not move, Hanzo wasn’t even sure he was breathing. He reached a hand forward, trying to take the clone’s wrist to check his pulse.

But as Hanzo’s hand touched the other’s skin, the clone took a very deep intake of breath. His eyes shot open and he fell back, breathing frenzied and pupils darting around like he was trying to figure out where he was.

“Easy,” Hanzo commanded, holding his hands up to show he meant no harm. “Are you okay?”

The clone’s breathing evened out, as he stared straight at Hanzo. His face twitched slightly, before he pushed himself out of the pod. His legs almost gave out under him, and Hanzo just about managed to catch him before he fell.

“Slowly,” Hanzo instructed.

The clone looked up at him and blinked. Using Hanzo as a support, he pushed himself to stand up straight. He didn’t move, just stared at Hanzo, like a lost puppy looking for attention.

“Uh… Hello,” Hanzo tried, he really wasn’t sure if the clone could understand him. “My name is Hanzo.”

The clone blinked and tilted his head, before answering with “I am Kuai Liang.”

Well, that explained the engraving. At this, the clone pushed away from Hanzo and walked away, seeming a lot more steady on his feet now. Although now that he was a distance away from him, Hanzo realised the poor man was completely naked.

“Where am I?” Kuai Liang asked, looking around with wonder. He paused and looked down at his hands. “There is something I am meant to do.”

“What do you mean?” Hanzo asked, watching as Kuai began to wander aimlessly around the room. Dread was starting to set in. Even though he didn’t appear aggressive right now, Hanzo wasn’t sure it would remain like that.

“There is something… I am…” He trailed off, as he spun on the spot, tilting his head to look up at the ceiling. “I am… Supposed to follow someone’s orders.” Kuai suddenly jumped slightly, head snapping over to Hanzo. “Oh! Is it you? Am I supposed to follow your orders?”

“I-“ Hanzo hesitated, not entirely sure what to say to that. At least he was fairly certain now that this clone was created for The Lin Kuei. Who else would want an exact copy of Bi-Han except with less fight-back against orders?

“Ah! It must be!” Kuai nodded confidently, before rushing over to Hanzo and bowing. “What are your orders, Master?”

Oh fuck. How the hell was he supposed to navigate this situation? He had come in somewhat expecting a fight, not whatever the hell this was. Still, Kuai Liang seemed docile for now, and if he continued to be like that, maybe he could get them both to the other defenders to figure out what the hell to do.

“We need to get out of here,” Hanzo began, before his eyes flicked downwards. Ah. Right. Kuai was naked. While the clone didn’t exactly seem to mind, Hanzo still wanted to give him some dignity. “But first we need to get you dressed.”

He glanced around, spotting what looked like a tattered robe on one of the tables. It looked like it was barely hanging together by a thread, but at the very least, it would do for now. He grabbed it, and went back towards Kuai. He grabbed Kuai’s arms and positioned them so they were over his head, before he pulled the robe down over Kuai’s body. It didn’t give much coverage after all, but it was enough.

“Right.” Hanzo brushed his hands, before reaching to grab one of Kuai’s. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

“Yes Master,” Kuai agreed, eagerly following Hanzo, and blissfully unaware of how much being referred to as that made Hanzo cringe. He’d find a way to bring it up later. Right now, they needed to get out of the flesh pits alive.

This was all extremely exciting.

Kuai couldn’t get over how incredible the world was. This was his first time ever seeing it, and he was fascinated by it. The thick jungle was amazing. Full of green plants and trees so large it was like they touched the skies themselves. Every so often, there was a flash of colour between the green, and he’d find himself drawn in by the beautiful flowers.

Master wasn’t anywhere near as impressed, if his facial expression was anything to go by. But he didn’t do anything to stop Kuai from investigating things. Kuai supposed that was understandable. Master had probably seen this all before. Whereas for Kuai Liang, absolutely everything was new. The world was new. New and absolutely amazing.

“Oh! Look! There is a bird sitting on that tree!” Kuai pointed towards the beast. It was small, and had wings. That was what a bird was right? How did he know it was a bird? How did he know this was a jungle? How did he know what plants and trees were? This was all new to him, right?

Why did he know what these things were?

“Kuai Liang, I appreciate that this is all very exciting for you,” Master calmly spoke, approaching Kuai and gently taking his hand. “But right now, we need to get back to my group of allies. Once we are there, I swear I will let you look at everything you want. Okay?”

“Ah. Yes, sorry Master.” Kuai was getting a little ahead of himself, wasn’t he? He wasn’t supposed to want to chase his own desires. Only serve the demands of his Master. And if his Master wanted to get somewhere, he really needed to stop holding him up.

Master grimaced slightly, as he tugged on Kuai’s hand to guide him through the foliage.

“You know, Kuai Liang, I really would prefer you not call me Master,” he said.

“Oh.” Kuai hadn’t even considered that Master would want to be called something other than that. There was something strange inside that compelled him to refer to him as that. “Then, what would you prefer I refer to you as?”

“Just Hanzo, would be fine.”

“Very well, Just Hanzo,” Kuai replied, putting aside the way that felt wrong coming out of his mouth. But surely Just Hanzo’s desires mattered more than how he felt, right?

Just Hanzo made a strange face, but whatever he was thinking, he chose to keep it to himself.

Kuai heard rustling above them, tilting his head to look up while trying to keep walking at the same pace as Just Hanzo. The bird that had been sitting up there had taken flight, and Kuai watched it go.

“Ah, the bird is flying,” he informed Just Hanzo, in case he needed to know. Kuai frowned, the bird looked actually kind of tasty. “I want to eat it.”

“Maybe later.” Just Hanzo gently pulled on Kuai’s arm, and Kuai realised that he’d come to a stand still again. “Kuai Liang, may I ask you some questions?”

“Of course, Just Hanzo,” Kuai replied eagerly, deciding to keep his attention on the other man in the hopes it would encourage him to keep walking and stop getting distracted.

“Do you know why you were made?” That was a strange question. Kuai was aware of how he’d come to be, if only vaguely, but as to why? He only knew he was supposed to follow orders.

“I… To follow your orders, Just Hanzo,” he replied, deciding this was probably a test. That has to be it right? Just Hanzo was making sure he knew his place.

“But… Why?” Just Hanzo questioned again, looking at Kuai with his brows drawn together in frustration. “To what end do you need to follow those orders?”

There was a strange feeling in Kuai’s chest, like there were a million butterflies inside it trying to burst out between his ribs. What did Just Hanzo mean? He was created to follow orders, that’s it. He doesn’t need to know what the purpose of that was, he just needed to obey.

“I don’t understand the question,” Kuai finally squeaked out, that fluttering feeling creeping up to his throat.

Why was I created? What is my purpose? 

“Kuai Liang.” Just Hanzo’s voice brought Kuai out of his panic. When Kuai looked down, he could see his hands shaking, but Just Hanzo was holding them tightly to still his tremors. “I’m sorry. My question was not meant to upset you. I just wanted to try and figure out how much you know about your own creation.”

“W-What is my purpose?” Kuai asked. If Just Hanzo was the person he was meant to follow, then surely he knew.

However the sad smile Just Hanzo gave him told him it was not that simple.

“I don’t know.” One of his hands reached up to the top of Kuai’s head, gently patting his hair. Kuai made a strange squeak as he did. It felt nice, but Kuai wasn’t sure why. “But I promise we will figure it out.”

No matter what his purpose turned out to be, Kuai was very glad it was linked to his Just Hanzo.

“Hanzo! You’re back!” Another voice called out and Kuai almost jumped a mile. A man wearing a red headband approached them, but paused in place when he noticed Kuai Liang. “I was about to ask if you found anything but uh…”

Just Hanzo coughed and turned towards the man, gently pushing Kuai forward. Ah. This man must be one of the allies he mentioned. Kuai supposed he should make a good first impression.

“Hello, I am Kuai Liang,” Kuai said brightly, pushing away his previous distress. He bowed to the man, and when he returned to stand upright, the man raised a single eyebrow.

“It’s good to meet you, I’m Liu Kang.” Liu’s eyes flicked between Kuai and Hanzo for a few seconds before he finally continued with “um, Hanzo, you are aware he looks exactly like-“

“I did notice, yes,” Hanzo cut in before Liu could finish the sentence. Kuai was a bit dumbfounded by that. What did Kuai look exactly like?

“What’s going on?” Another voice called, and Kuai heard several pairs of footsteps come from behind Liu Kang. There were two women, one wearing green and one wearing blue, and three men, one with a large hat, one with long grey hair and one…

One… 

One that almost exactly shared Kuai Liang’s face.

Those butterflies were back, as Kuai stared directly into that man’s eyes. He looked as surprised as Kuai did, but Kuai couldn’t tell if he had the same feeling in his chest that Kuai did. The man didn’t have Kuai’s mouth, or his eyes, or even the scar on his face, but the rest of the resemblance was uncanny.

But more than that, when Kuai looked into that man’s eyes, he swore to the Elder Gods he knew him.

Not just because they shared a face. There was something more . Something deep inside him that told him that they had met before.

The hazy sound of a song being sung to him in Mandarin echoed through his mind.

A memory? But whose? Because it couldn’t be Kuai Liang’s…

Could it? 

“What is this?” The man hissed, and Kuai wanted to flinch. He didn’t know what he’d done to upset this man, but clearly he’d done something.

“Bi-Han, please don’t be angry at him,” Just Hanzo replied, stepping forward in front of Kuai slightly, like he was trying to shield him. “I found him in a pod in the Flesh Pits. His name is Kuai Liang, and I believe he is a clone of you.”

Bi-Han’s breath hitched as he questioned “Kuai Liang?”

“It is nice to meet you,” Kuai said quietly, hoping maybe it would put the other man at ease. It only seemed to make it worse. The man’s face kept switching between fury and despair.

Bi-Han shook his head, and quickly turned away and walked off. Kuai felt himself hang his head in shame. He didn’t know what he’d done. Maybe he’d be able to make it up to him later.

“You… Really think he’s a clone of Bi-Han?” The woman in green questioned.

“You need to explain, now,” the man with grey hair growled, his voice demanding and harsh. That wasn’t the voice he usually had, he was much more soft spoken than that usually.

Wait… What? 

How could Kuai possibly know how this man usually spoke? He’d never met him before.

“Let’s settle in the camp,” Liu said, stepping aside and pointing in the general direction the camp must have been. “Then we can get to the bottom of whatever is going on.”

Just Hanzo pat Kuai’s back, before once more pushing him forward gently. Kuai complied with the silent command, once more trying to push his unease away.

And ignore the feeling like something terrible was about to happen.

Hanzo had done his best to fill in Earthrealm’s forces on what had happened at the Flesh Pits. He wasn’t sure if he’d done a good job or not. They had many questions, and most of them Hanzo had no answer to. Why was Kuai Liang created? What was his purpose? Who requested his creation?

None of that was within Hanzo’s ability to answer.

Kuai himself had gotten bored at some point, so Hanzo had let him just wander around the camp a bit. Besides, it felt easier to discuss things about him without him being around. How upset he seemed about being asked his purpose, or even how he looked when he met Bi-Han. It was clear these things distressed him, and Hanzo had no intention to put him through that again.

“Are we sure we can trust him?” Kitana asked, hands clasped tightly around a cup of water. It was clear she was nervous about this, and to be fair, given her experience with Mileena, Hanzo couldn’t blame her.

“I genuinely don’t believe he’s a threat to us,” Hanzo tried to plead. He’d only spent a small amount of time with the clone, but he was certain at this point if he had wanted to hurt any of them, he would have by now.

“Just Hanzo! Look!” Hanzo looked over his shoulder to where Kuai Liang was standing, one of his ice blades out, with a bird spired onto it. “I caught a bird!”

As Kuai took a triumphant bite out of his catch, Hanzo turned back to the fellow defenders, all looking at him with deadpan expressions.

“He may, however, be a threat to wildlife.” Dammit Kuai Liang, I’m trying to vouch for you here. It wasn’t Kuai’s fault though, not really. He was just following his instincts. “My point is I think if he had wanted to hurt me at any point he would have.”

“Well, I mean at the moment he seems to believe you are his Master ,” Sonya pointed out, leaning back on her arms. “He might not be so agreeable if his real Master shows up to take control of him.”

Hanzo wanted to argue that point. But he didn’t really know what he could say against it.

“I mean, he seems to have free will,” Johnny chimed in, looking over Hanzo’s shoulder, presumably at Kuai Liang. “It’s not like he’s brainwashed or anything right?”

“Right,” Liu Kang agreed, taking a sip of his own water. “Maybe if we can encourage him to embrace his own agency, he will be more inclined to help us.”

“Embrace his own agency, yep, exactly what I was gonna say,” Johnny cheered, holding his cup up like he was making a toast. If looks could kill, the one Liu gave him would have slaughtered him in seconds.

“And what if when he embraces his agency, he decides he wants to work against us?” Jade asked, and Hanzo didn’t miss how her hand went to rest on Kitana’s shoulder.

“I mean, that’s a risk we’re just going to have to take,” Lao replied, shrugging as he did. “Let’s be fair, any of us could suddenly turn on the rest at any moment. Tomorrow morning we could wake up to find Cage has decided to sell us all out to Shao Kahn in exchange for his own mansion.”

“Hey,” Johnny exclaimed in a mock offended tone. “I’ll have you know, I consider you guys to be worth at least two mansions, thank you very much.”

“Point still stands.” Lao rolled his eyes. “We just have to trust we’ll be a good influence on him.”

“Then you should keep Cage far away from him then,” Sonya bitterly bit out between her teeth.

Despite Johnny’s complaint, the rest of the defenders laughed.

Well, everyone except Smoke.

The entire conversation, he’d been silent, staring at his hands with a frustrated look on his face. Hanzo should have known out of anyone, Smoke and Bi-Han would be the hardest to win over with this concept.

“Smoke,” Hanzo addressed, and everyone else’s laughter quietened as they all turned to look at the former Lin Kuei assassin. “I know this must be hard for you and Bi-Han to accept but… This isn’t Kuai Liang’s fault. Please, don’t take your rightful anger out on him.”

Smoke gave a defeated sigh, “you are right.” He bowed his head slightly, squeezing his eyes shut. “I just… don’t understand why they had to name him that .”

“Why? What does Kuai Liang mean?” Hanzo had wondered, but Smoke’s reaction rather implied it was a bad thing.

“No, it’s not-“ Smoke stopped, taking a deep breath. “It’s not the meaning of the name it’s-“ he paused again, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, but that is Bi-Han’s tale to tell, not mine.”

Hanzo made eye contact with Liu Kang. He could see in the chosen ones eyes, he had the exact same question that Hanzo did. What does that name mean to Bi-Han? 

“Uh, guys.” Kung Lao suddenly sat up, looking around frantically. “Where’s Kuai Liang gone?”

Hanzo turned around, to find, indeed, the clone was no longer in the camp. Shit. He really should have realised Kuai’s inquisitive nature would lead to him wandering off. He could only hope that he hadn’t gotten into too much trouble.

“I’ll go look for him,” Hanzo said as he stood up. “At the moment, I’m the one he trusts the most.”

“Fair enough,” Liu Kang replied with a nod. “Good luck.”

Yeah, I’m going to need it. 

Hanzo hoped that maybe Kuai Liang had left a trail of half eaten wildlife for him to follow.

Kuai kept his body low to the ground, creeping forward on all fours towards his current target.

He wasn’t sure what it was. It was like a rabbit, except with even bigger ears and a long tail. He ignored his own question on how he knew what a rabbit looked like. That kept happening and it was getting more and more frustrating. Besides, when he was hunting was not the time to get bogged down with such things.

The creature stilled, its ears and nose twitching like it knew something was there. This was his chance. Kuai could jump on it now and catch it.

He launched forward, drawing his arm blades as he did. Pointing them down towards the creature, he hoped to spear it on them. However, seconds before impact, the creature went running, and Kuai could not stop his own momentum. As he withdrew the blades, he found himself falling face first into the dirt instead.

He groaned, pushing himself up on his hands. He would get that damned creature, if it was the last thing he did. Glancing around, he tried to figure out where it had gone. Until he noticed a humanoid figure in the clearing he was in.

The figure turned around when it heard him, and Kuai quickly realised it was Bi-Han, the man from earlier who shared his face.

And Kuai once again got that sickly feeling like they knew each other. It was like there was some invisible string attaching them to each other. And someone was pulling on it, daring him to get closer.

“Um… Hi,” Kuai said quietly, not sure how he should be acting. Bi-Han had seemed angry earlier, and despite Kuai’s own feelings of a connection, it didn’t mean he felt that same pull. “You didn’t see where the rabbit-thing went did you?”

“No. No I didn’t.” Bi-Han’s voice was flat, almost emotionless. Why did that make Kuai want to cry? He didn’t want Bi-Han to be mad at him, he just wanted them to be together like they used to be.

“I- I’ll go,” Kuai said quietly as he pushed himself to his feet, terrified of his own feelings. Confused by his own thoughts. What was happening to him?

“Wait,” Bi-Han said, before Kuai could turn to leave. He took a few cautious steps forward. “Do you- Do you remember me?”

And there it was, that weird flood of emotions. Was Bi-Han asking because he felt that connection too? Is that what was happening here?

“I- I don’t but-“ he hesitated when he saw the disappointment in Bi-Han’s eyes. He looked so sad that Kuai didn’t remember him. “You feel familiar to me. And not just because we share a face.”

“Do you remember Tomas?” Bi-Han asked, and Kuai shook his head, even though for some reason an image of the grey haired man came into his head.

“I- Is that the man with the grey hair’s name?” He asked, watching as Bi-Han’s eyes widened and he lent forward slightly. “But, I’m not sure why I think that.”

“What do you remember?” Bi-Han reached forward to put his hand on Kuai’s shoulder. His grip was tight, not uncomfortable but there was a strange desperation in the action.

“I woke up in the Flesh Pits. And Just Hanzo was there. And I am supposed to follow orders, so I must have to follow his orders, right?” That made sense to Kuai, but…

“Do you remember anything before the flesh pits?” Now Bi-Han’s voice sounded desperate as well, like he needed Kuai Liang to be able to answer his questions. Kuai couldn’t understand it. He had seemed so angry when he first saw Kuai, why was he suddenly so interested in him and his memories?

“No.” Kuai blinked, because he didn’t remember anything, but he certainly knew things he shouldn’t. “But I seem to have knowledge of things I shouldn’t. Like I knew what a bird was. And a rabbit.” He rubbed at his wrist with one of his hands, that fluttering feeling once more beginning to bubble in his chest again. “And… that the grey haired man was called Tomas.” He blinked a few times, before looking into Bi-Han’s eyes. “Do I know you?”

Bi-Han bared his teeth, and Kuai could only describe what he was seeing as a man in extreme agony. An emotional hurt so raw it manifested into a physical pain. The hand on his shoulder gripped a little tighter, and Bi-Han’s breathing stuttered like he was holding back tears.

Was this how Bi-Han had reacted when Kuai Liang died?

Kuai stopped breathing. I’ve never died. Why do I think I have? 

“Kuai Liang,” Bi-Han asked, his voice sounding as wrecked as he looked. “What are your favourite flowers?”

“Oh, that’s easy, snowdrops!” Kuai paused as soon as that word escaped his mouth. At the horrific realisation that he had never seen a snowdrop before. “But… How can my favourite flower be something I’ve never seen?”

He looked at Bi-Han again. His free hand was over his mouth, like he was trying to stop himself from saying anything. The hand that had been on Kuai’s shoulder moved, reaching up to trace the scar over Kuai’s eye. The hand stopped its journey at Kuai’s mouth, teeth jutting out in a chaotic manner. It felt so intimate, an action that had been done a million times before.

“I don’t understand,” Kuai whispered, looking down at his own hands. “Why do I keep having these flashes of a life I haven’t lived?”

“Because you did live it, once upon a time.” Bi-Han spoke with such tenderness and care, a voice Kuai had never heard, and yet had heard so many times. “You did live it. Please , dìdi.”

In Kuai’s mind, he saw Bi-Han looking at him with an immense amount of pride. 

“Well done dìdi! You’ll earn your codename in no time!” 

Kuai gasped, pulling back from Bi-Han in a violent manner. His hands reached up to his head, grabbing at his hair. He couldn’t breathe, feeling like something was crushing his chest and his throat was closing up. He could hear Bi-Han talking to him, could feel his hands on his body, but the world was twisting around Kuai.

“Bi-Han!”

Kuai’s head snapped up as he realised that it was Just Hanzo’s voice. When he looked in that direction he saw a blur of yellow heading towards them. Seconds later, he felt himself being pulled backwards, and in the blink of an eye, Hanzo was in front of him rather than Bi-Han. A hand on Kuai’s head, that action Kuai so loved and wondered if he’d crave for the rest of his life.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Hanzo asked somewhat frantically. Kuai didn’t know how to answer the question. He wasn’t physically harmed, but mentally?

“I- I don’t know what’s happening to me,” Kuai admitted, trying desperately to hold back his cries and failing dismally. “I’m sorry Just Hanzo.”

“No, no, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Hanzo assured him, ruffling his hair slightly as he spoke. “None of this is your fault.”

“Hanzo,” Bi-Han started, trying to step back into Kuai’s vision.

Hanzo’s reaction was quick. Shoving Kuai behind him and using his entire body to shield him.

“Bi-Han, stop this,” Hanzo demanded, “I understand this must be strange for you, having been cloned, but none of this is Kuai Liang’s fault.”

There was silence for what felt like an eternity.

“I do not think he’s a clone of me,” Bi-Han said, sounding absolutely miserable. Kuai frowned, shifting himself so he could see around Hanzo and towards Bi-Han instead.

“What do you mean?” Hanzo asked, a hand darting backwards to stop Kuai from stepping out in front of him.

Bi-Han stared at Kuai Liang, eyes still searching for some kind of recognition. He turned his attention back to Hanzo, breathing out as he finally explained what was on his mind.

“I think he’s a clone of my younger brother.”

“I should explain,” Bi-Han began as they managed to finally gather all of the defenders.

Everyone sat around the campfire. Hanzo sat next to Kuai, putting a body between him and Bi-Han. Maybe the cryomancer didn’t mean Kuai any real harm, but it was clear this was hurting Kuai regardless. Hanzo didn’t understand why he felt so protective over the clone, but he did. Elder Gods help anyone who did try to hurt Kuai Liang, quite frankly.

“I had a younger brother. His name was Kuai Liang,” Bi-Han began, his gaze solidly on the clone. “When he was 20, he was killed on a mission. His body was never recovered.”

The defenders fell silent as they took in that information. Was it possible that Shang Tsung had managed to find the original Kuai Liang’s body, and created the Clone from his DNA? Hanzo glanced at Kuai, his head was low and he was refusing to look at anyone. All Hanzo could do is place a hand on his back, rubbing in circles to try and offer him some comfort.

“So. Shang Tsung made a clone of your dead little brother?” Kung Lao asked, a hint of disgust in his voice. “That’s low, even for him.”

Kuai curled in on himself slightly. How Hanzo resisted the urge to pull him into a hug, he didn’t know.

“Yeah, that’s kinda fucked,” Johnny added, and Hanzo couldn’t help but notice him reaching over to Kuai as well. “Hey man, we don’t blame you for this, alright. You didn’t exactly have any choice in this, after all.”

Kuai did not respond, but Hanzo did notice how when Johnny’s hand landed on Kuai’s head he did seem to lean into it. It seemed he enjoyed head pats. Hanzo wasn’t sure what to do with that information, but it was worth noting.

“What I don’t understand is why .” Sonya added, leaning backwards and crossing her arms. “Did someone ask him to do it?”

“I would assume it was The Lin Kuei,” Liu Kang said with a shake of his head. “I mean, who else would?”

“But why?” Jade questioned, stressing the fact that she didn’t think it made sense. “The Lin Kuei are hardly hurting for warriors. Why would they care about one life enough to commission a clone of them?”

“They wouldn’t.” Smoke’s declaration caught everyone off guard. Everyone’s heads snapped over to him, aside from Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. “Kuai Liang was seen as one of the weaker members. The Elders weren’t exactly fond of him, especially not enough to try and bring him back to life.” Tomas slammed his hand down, a bang echoing throughout the camp, causing Kuai to make himself even smaller, a slight tremble in his form now. “I mean for fucks sake, they didn’t even give a shit enough for them to find his body so we could give him a proper burial!”

“Tomas is right,” Bi-Han miserably confirmed. “My rank did not save him from their wrath. They pretty much despised him. There is no way they would ever put in this much effort for him.”

“Even if they got someone who would follow their orders without question in return?” Kitana asked, pointing at Kuai as she spoke. “Because from what Hanzo told us, it sounds like he was brought into this world with an instinct to blindly serve.”

“No.” Bi-Han shook his head. “Even if Kuai was obedient, he was seen as weaker and inferior.”

“So, if not The Lin Kuei, then who?” Sonya’s face was screwed up. “Or did Shang Tsung just decide to do this of his own design?”

“Did you or Kuai Liang have any enemies that may have wanted to use this against you?” Liu asked in a sincere tone. Bi-Han finally tore his attention from Kuai to Liu, giving him the most deadpan stare Hanzo had ever seen in his life.

“It would be easier to give you a list of people I have not pissed off,” Bi-Han replied in a tone as flat as his facial expression. “I am an assassin after all.”

“I guess our Kuai Liang doesn’t know anything,” Johnny gently prompted, his hand now on Kuai’s shoulder and squeezing gently. For as annoying as Hanzo found the actor, he was glad he seemed as concerned for Kuai as Hanzo was.

“No,” Kuai sadly admitted, the first thing he’d said since they sat down. He lifted his head ever so slightly, avoiding eye contact with anyone except Johnny. “I just know I’m supposed to obey someone. I thought because he woke me up, that it was Just Hanzo, but…”

“Yeah, well if I ever find who it is, I’m going to punch their nuts so hard they explode,” Johnny muttered in the most serious tone Hanzo had ever heard from him. He only just stopped himself from laughing at the juxtaposition of it all.

“What if whoever it is doesn’t have nuts?” Jax questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Same situation, just without the nuts and with ovaries instead.” Johnny shrugs. “Apparently getting hit in the pussy hurts just as much.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Sonya grumbled, clearly bitter from past experience.

“Let’s return to the topic at hand, shall we?” Jade said, sounding annoyed by the derailment. “I don’t think we’re going to get answers for who and why without confronting Shang Tsung.” She turned to Bi-Han, placing his hands on her knees. “Is there anything else about this situation we need to know about?”

Bi-Han turned back to look at Kuai again, the clone having returned to ducking his head and refusing to look at anyone. The pain on Bi-Han’s face was clear to see.

“I think he has Kuai Liang’s memories,” Bi-Han claimed, turning his full body towards Kuai. “They’re buried at the moment, but he kept saying he remembered things, and seems to have flashes of clarity.”

“What do you mean?” Hanzo asked, now it was his turn to look at Kuai Liang. Could he really have the memories of a man who’d died?

“I asked him what his favourite flower was.” Bi-Han stood up and walked over to Kuai, kneeling in front of him. “His answer was a snowdrop.” Bi-Han brought his hand up, and with his ice, a delicate flower began to form. A snowdrop. He placed the ice flower in Kuai’s hand, finally causing him to lift his head. He stared at it, before finally looking Bi-Han in his eyes. “How could you know that, without ever seeing them? Unless you have .”

That was a good question. Maybe Kuai Liang really did have his deceased self’s memories. That seemed like a dangerous thing to do however. Surely that wasn’t by Shang Tsung’s design, was it?

“Bi-Han,” Smoke tried to get his fellow Lin Kuei’s attention. “I’m sorry but… That isn’t your brother.”

Bi-Han’s head snapped over towards Smoke, and god you could see the murder in his eyes.

“He is the closest I will ever get to having Kuai Liang back!” Bi-Han jumped to his feet, summoning a spear of ice. Tomas stumbled backwards, as Liu Kang and Kung Lao swiftly went to restrain Bi-Han. “I do not care what the circumstances are, Kuai Liang has been brought back to me, and I will not allow anyone to take him away from me again.”

There was a snapping sound, as Kuai Liang clenched his fist and broke the ice snowdrop in his hand. His eyes were wide with terror. Hanzo once more went to reach for him, only for Kuai to flinch away from his touch. Before anyone could say anything, Kuai was on his feet and running off into the jungle.

Fuck. Hanzo’s heart hurt for him. All of this must have been so confusing. Hell, Hanzo was so mixed up by it, he could only imagine it being 100 times worse for Kuai Liang.

Hanzo stood up next, sparing everyone a glance and trying to give them as reassuring a smile as he could muster.

“I’ll go after him.”

He didn’t give anyone a chance to argue with him, immediately heading in the same direction that Kuai had, and hoping he hadn’t managed to get too far ahead.

All that he could hear was his own breathing, coming out of his mouth in heavy but sharp and short bursts.

He was on the edge of a cliff, not that he was really conscious of that. The world around him was spinning, and his chest burned from the effort of breathing. His hands were tangled up in his hair, his eyes stinging, face wet with tears that rolled down his cheeks.

This was all too much . How was he supposed to go on? Knowing he was nothing but an inferior copy to someone else? The knowledge he was essentially stealing another person’s life was crushing him inside. Insidious voices whispering in his head.

You’re a monster. You are a disgusting freak. Have you no respect for the dead? Taking his name and his family? You can never be what he wants you to be, you know that, right? 

He desperately tried to muffle the whine that escaped his throat. Despite what Bi-Han said, he would never be Kuai Liang, not really. He was just a replacement. When Bi-Han realised that this clone could never be the Kuai Liang he wanted, he would throw him away. And frankly? Kuai couldn’t blame him.

“Kuai Liang,” a soft voice interrupted, and Kuai jumped on the spot, looking up to see Just Hanzo kneeling beside him. Kuai hadn’t even heard him approaching. “I’m sorry, I know this is upsetting you. Please, just, talk to me.”

Kuai hiccupped. He wasn’t sure how he could ever explain what he was feeling at that moment. He supposed he would have to try.

“If I am not Kuai Liang, then who am I ?” Kuai asked, hoping that would be enough to explain the existential dread overtaking his entire self. “I am nothing but a parasite, wearing a dead man’s face.”

“That isn’t true,” Just Hanzo tried to assure him, but Kuai just shook his head.

“But it is.” He reached a hand to his eyes, trying to wipe away the tears. “Tomas is right, I am not Kuai Liang. I can never be what Bi-Han wants me to be.”

“I… I know.” Just Hanzo reached a hand forward, gently patting Kuai’s head. “I don’t think the pressure Bi-Han is putting on your shoulders is fair. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t Kuai Liang.”

“But-“

“No. No buts,” Just Hanzo softly sighed. “Regardless of if you are that Kuai Liang, if you possess his memories or not, you are your own Kuai Liang, and that’s what matters.” Kuai wasn’t sure he followed the logic. Either he was Kuai Liang or he wasn’t, there really wasn’t a middle ground. “You will figure out who you are with time, and who it is you want to be.”

“What if who I am is not a good person?” Kuai asked, reaching to mess with the robe he was wearing. “I am not an idiot. I can see the way your allies look at me. Like I am about to tear them apart at any second.” Kuai’s fists clenched, what if they had a good reason to distrust him? He was already pretending to be someone else, any other lies of who he is would surely not surprise them. “What if their fears that I am nothing but a monster are true?”

“I think the fact that concerns you so much shows you are a good person.” Kuai frowned at Just Hanzo, once more not following where he was coming from. “Bad people do not generally concern themselves with if they are good or not.” Hanzo swallowed and took a deep breath, “trust me, Kuai Liang, I am an expert in the depths of evil this world can spit out and you are nowhere near that.”

Kuai wasn’t sure he could believe that. But it was clear Just Hanzo wasn’t going to let him argue the point. Instead he just turned his head, out across the view from the cliff. He wasn’t looking at anything in particular, he just couldn’t keep looking at Just Hanzo.

“I realise my words may be hollow now, but I promise, you do not have to go through this journey alone,” Just Hanzo continued. Kuai’s breath hitched as he felt the other man reach to take hold of his hand. “Whoever it is you are, regardless of if that is Kuai Liang or someone completely new, I will be by your side until you figure it out.”

Kuai turned to look at Just Hanzo again. What he found looking back at him, was the most tender expression he’d ever seen. Well, he supposed that wasn’t really much to go by. That wasn’t the point. Just Hanzo looked at him like he was a person, not the monster he felt he was. Kuai felt a strange pang to his heart, like it had skipped a beat.

The expression was so sincere, Kuai almost believed Hanzo’s words of him being a good person to be true.

“Thank you, Just Hanzo,” he replied, squeezing Just Hanzo’s hands.

“Hanzo.” The correction was gentle, and not demanding, and Kuai felt weirdly honoured that he could now drop the Just honorific of Hanzo’s name. That Hanzo trusted and respected him enough to allow him to do so.

“Thank you, Hanzo,” he said, and if his mouth wasn’t pretty much permanently open, he’d be smiling around this time. “I am… thankful it was you who found me, and not whoever ordered my creation.” That was an entirely different issue. It was clear now Hanzo was not the person whose order’s Kuai should have been following, so who was?

“We will figure that mystery out as well, believe me,” Hanzo answered the question that was never asked aloud. “And if whoever it was had nefarious purposes for you, I will not let them harm you.”

Kuai was surprised when Hanzo pulled him forward, wrapping his arms around Kuai’s torso and holding him close. It took a few seconds for Kuai to realise he was being hugged. Unsure if he was doing it right, Kuai returned the gesture by linking his own arms behind Hanzo’s back.

“By the honour of the Shirai Ryu, I will be your guardian.”

Kuai didn’t know what to say to that, just tried to show his appreciation physically by reaching up to pat Hanzo’s head. The other man laughed, before they both pulled back.

“So, what happens now?” Kuai asked, unsure if there was an actual plan.

“In the morning we will begin our trek to Outworld’s colosseum.” Hanzo pointed off in what Kuai assumed was the rough direction they would be going in. “Until then, we need to eat and rest.”

Oh, eating. Given Kuai’s expert hunting capability, he might be able to help with that. Maybe an offering of food would help the other’s trust him too.

“Want to help me try and hunt that rabbit thing I found earlier?” Kuai asked.

Hanzo chuckled again, before pulling his kunai out of his pocket and twirling it in his hand.

“Let’s go catch the little bastard.”

Kuai snorted, jumping to his feet, and gesturing for Hanzo to follow his lead. Between the both of them, they were sure to return to camp with a bountiful feast.

“Well… This presents a problem.”

Shang Tsung stood, staring at the now empty pod where Kuai Liang should have been. He placed his hands on his hips and clicked his tongue. That particular experiment had been requested by a certain client , and was due to be delivered soon. He only had the one specimen, so it had been imperative that he got everything completely right with him.

One specimen that was now missing.

Yes. This was definitely a problem.

He pulled an amulet out of his pocket, holding it up and saying “an issue has arisen.”

“What kind of issue?” A voice called out from the amulet. Shang briefly glanced down at it, before looking back towards the pod.

“Kuai Liang is gone,” he replied simply, tilting his head as he looked at the scene a little closer. He couldn’t see any scratch marks, or evidence that the pod had somehow failed. “It doesn’t look like an escape, more like someone has taken him.”

“I paid you to deliver me that specimen, Shang Tsung,” the voice growled in warning. Shang couldn’t help but roll his eyes. The Client could be so over dramatic sometimes.

“And you shall get what you paid for.” Shang walked around, trying to look for some sort of clue. If someone else had been here, they had to have left a sign. And that’s when he noticed a small torn piece of cloth that had caught on something and ripped. He lent down to pick it up, raising an eyebrow. “Yellow fabric.”

“Pardon?” The voice forcefully questioned, and Shang had to bite his tongue to stop him from replying in a sarcastic manner.

“I have just found a torn piece of yellow fabric,” Shang explained, fiddling with the fabric between his fingers. “I can think of one person who just so happens to wear yellow.”

“Hanzo Hasashi.” Shang could hear the anger in his client’s voice. Understandable, given what a thorn the former Shirai Ryu general could be.

“I would hazard a guess that the arachnid is the one who currently possesses your specimen.” He dropped the fabric, having decided he had all the information he could get from it. “And I know for a fact that Raiden’s forces are currently making their way towards the colosseum.”

“If my specimen is in any way injured or damaged-“

“I will repair it.” Shang shook his head. His experiments were far more hardy than his client was giving him credit for. Not to mention, if the Client’s plan was as solid as he thought, there was no way in hell Bi-Han would have let any harm come to Kuai Liang.

“You had better,” the client’s voice snarled, “I will be holding you to that.”

“Of course.” Deciding he’d said all that needed to be said, he put the amulet away. He took a deep breath. The Client was a useful ally, but good grief the second it was beneficial to drop him, Shang would do so in an instant.

Deadly alliance, my ass. 

Still, right now, he had a certain amount of obligation to The Client. He needed to make sure the specimen was delivered. Not to mention one of his creations was running around, probably being corrupted from its purpose by Raiden’s pet Earthrealmers. 

He created a portal to the colosseum, and stepped through.

#mortal kombat #subscorp #subscorpweek #kuai liang #sub zero #hanzo hasashi #scorpion #🔥❄️subscorp week 2023

[berryunho]

This is is just me going crazy over character dynamics and going onto the hwa stuff I mentioned in a bit more depth.

I really love the moments between him and mc, right now I would say it's my favorite dynamic in the story. On one hand, the tension is funny to witness because, unlike her relationships with san and hj, there is some semblance of hesitation from both parties here instead of just her lmao? But also, there's so much to unpack about them and what they could become? In short, they keep getting entangled with one another, with varying degrees of enthusiasm from each of them, just to pull apart as quickly as they started the whole thing and I think it's funny how that works.

Getting more detailed on my view of it all, on his side it seems to me that she is kind of growing on him a little bit over time, more so because of their proximity and how important she ended up being in his life due to the importance hj himself placed on her in his own life if that makes any sense? What I mean by that is, I guess hwa never really gave himself enough time or space to feel bad about any of the victims of the cult because his sole focus is hj, so he wouldn't allow himself to see what they are doing to others, he wouldn't even have time to get close enough to any of them to do that. However, because of hj's proximity to mc, hwa comes as a package deal and therefore he too is forced to interact closely with her, now he finally gets to confront the damage they do to someone up close and personal, and it doesn't help that he likes her a bit despite himself (just physically? Perhaps a bit emotionally?).

On mc's side, she is already deprived of any real support system, she is already blurring the lines between her and the cult leaders because of how much she craves some semblance of comfort and companionship. For hwa to aid her, as minimally as he does, during these times when hj is clearly extra unstable, it really messes with her already hazy perception of him.

So we get hwa wanting to get closer, despite his dislike towards her for how focused hj is on her, because he is physically attracted to her yes but also seemingly due to him genuinely being concerned for her (I will also point out that while I am theorizing that the concern comes from genuine sympathy and maybe some empathy, I do think that part of it comes from him not wanting hj to get upset in case something happens to mc, even if that something were to be hj himself), and then we have mc, who can't help but be drawn as a moth to the fucking flames of hell when he offers any semblance of support (aka physical comfort and lending an ear when she asks things), because she can't get that from her actual loved ones so any source, as rancid as it is, she will probably take even if begrudgingly, on top of all that, *she* certainly empathizes with him because no one else is close to hj like they are.

That moment with woo really cemented that for her I think, he doesn't know what it feels like to be stuck with hj (as an individual, not the cult leader) be that willingly or not, he doesn't know how confusing and disorienting it is to navigate his mood swings and gaslighting when you are being *personally and closely* targeted by it, no one in the cult does besides her and hwa because for him they are all even lower in the hierarchy than those two, he didn't really need to follow the other cult members as closely that is.

Hwa stuck himself to hj's side by his own accord and from a young age, and now hj is trying to forcefully shackle her down to him as well. That is also another reason why I feel inclined to believe that he is warming up to her? I said he may be starting to empathize with her a little instead of just feeling sympathy, because he is seeing someone else entering the playing field that is his relationship with hj, and he may be starting to see that she could very well be on his team instead of against him (they are the losing team in the game, but at least they are losing together yay!). Like, the hand scene with hj teasing him about it? Mc is probably the only other person that hwa considers as a possible source of comfort (I wouldn't say affection because I don't think they are quite there yet) besides hj at this point, and she would probably treat him a bit better than hj does, she'd treat him as a BAD person sure but a person nonetheless, meanwhile hj steps all over the guy lol.

Its just the three of them in their own little twisted world in a way (Its a very interesting dynamic, I am so invested to see how it develops omg). That's also why I believe he wasn't just trying to keep her from upsetting hj for hj's sake this chapter, nor did it seem to be just to keep her safe from his wrath. Instead, he is almost playing peacemaker between both of them, it's just that hj is less likely to play along than mc so he has to rope her into walking around the eggshells she can't see, but to me it almost looks like he is trying to make a three way relationship work there lmao. Almost. Who knows. I can't wait to find out.

Anyway, despite hwa and mc repeatedly getting closer and closer, they always take a step back right after because 1. She lowkey stole his man without even trying plus he is supposed to stay loyal to said man and 2. He is a cult leader who has threatened her life multiple times and is still holding her hostage and is still a threat to her life. And they keep doing this little song and dance of it all around hj, the clinically unstable psycho. So yeah, fun for everyone, hooraaaay!!

That's all I wanted to add (I kind of wanted to go on to talk about the stuff between her and san but maybe that can wait for another day so I won't kill you with my essay of an ask lmaoo).

Again, thanks for all your hard work lauren, have a good day/night!

- 👁👁

Okay epic here we go

I def think you’re right w the idea that mc is growing on sh as time goes on hehe and yes it def has something to do just w the fact that they spend so much time together!! Like you said sh doesn’t really have a close relationship w the other cult members bc his main focus is just on hj and you could probably argue that he was close-ish to haneul but since she had her thing w jongho she wasnt w hj and sh as much and so yeah sh’s priority is definitely just hj and the fact that he places so much value on mc basically means that hwa has to as well even if it isnt what he would want

Heheheh yes mc is also very conflicted w the relationship obvs we get her pov and her thoughts and feelings and stuff and its clear she has no idea whats happening w hwa and that she doesn’t necessarily want to act on her … feelings ? urges ? LMAO IDK whatever it is that she feels when shes around him but like . you gotta have mental fortitude for that . and the longer they’re together and the closer they get w one another that fortitude can only remain for so long right . 

YES this idea that seonghwa is concerned about mc AND hj simultaneously is so good . like he has to worry that hj will lose interest in him but he also has to worry that something will happen to her and that hj will lose it and he also has to worry what will happen to her AND hj if she keeps things going the way that they are like . seonghwa is really a mediator in this whole situation now whether he wants to be or not but he also has to contend w his own feelings and worries which makes everything more complicated 

mc and hwa are absolutely tied together just on the virtue that they are the closest people to hj and are the only ones that like. Really get to see him or know him beyond a literal religious figure. And yes yes for sure they have to start seeing themselves as … idk like coworkers ? LMAO RATHER THAN ENEMIES I MEAN like not friends but they have to realize how they can interplay with each other to create a “”good”” situation for everyone yk 

BUT YEAH THIS ASK IS ALL REALLY GOOD AND INSIGHTFUL FOR ME like knowing what you’re thinking is sooooo good for knowing what im getting across well and what i want to continue to develop hehe feel free to send me asks WHENEVER about LITERALLY ANYTHING it can be a long long ask or a short short one i will always appreciate it <333 thank you again <333

#👁👁 anon #answered #the answer spoilers #feedback

[caffeineandkerosene]

God so I recently started playing sweet pool which I am like. Not the target demographic for lmao, I honestly just came for the cannibalism/autocannibalism ending because while the other topics in the game aren't like, squicks for me they're also not really my thing but then. Oh my god. I was absolutely NOT fucking expecting to latch on to Zenya so hard, like, fuck. I have not related to/resonated with a character to an extent as far as this since I was a teen playing the first ever VN I got my hands on, like. Oh my god.

Essay under the cut because if I don't get my thoughts out I'm going to Explode:

Zenya is a really interesting contrast to Tetsuo, because while Tetsuo's abuse has in no way left him a normal/healthy human being, he is at least functional. Tetsuo is an exceptional student with "a rotation of girlfriends" and is shown multiple times to behave responsibly (remembering trash duty, not wanting to waste food, feeding the stray cat etc.)

But what Zenya's father did to him left Zenya permanently fucked up physically, mentally, and emotionally. Zenya's behavior is so erratic and unstable, he has no friends in school and everyone talks shit about him lmao. He has such obvious trust issues; while it's clear he does care about Kitani, he is convinced Kitani only puts up with his bullshit due to his loyalty to his father and by extension himself.

The shit with Zenya's family has completely isolated him from the rest of the world. Normal people literally can not understand what Zenya is going through, so why even bother? Zenya hates his father for what he did to him; he lashes out, he's moody, he literally can not control his emotions because of the sickness he's been infected with. And yet he still wants love, he still wants to become the functional Male his father wanted (with Zenya's endings he is either going to produce lots of "babies" with Youji or die cradling his intestines imagining they're the children he was supposed to produce).

We can assume based off the lyrics to Zenya's character song that he is extremely lonely (which is also kind of just. obvious given his situation and isolation) but his situation and circumstances make it impossible for him to reach out on a deep level to anyone with the exception of Youji. And oh my fucking god, VLG ending is what made me go fucking feral so let's talk about that.

Zenya is literally shown to be capable of having Kitani kidnap Youji and Tetsuo. AT ANY POINT IN THE GAME, Zenya could have made Kitani kidnap Youji to keep as his sex slave.

But he doesn't. Ever do that.

Zenya will only take Youji if he is gullible enough to fall for his trick. It's so glaringly obvious that Youji shouldn't trust Zenya that I genuinely could not find anything online of people talking about Zenya's ending being the first ending they got (Makoto's seems to be the most popular for people not using guides) even though Zenya's ending is the first chronologically. Zenya only takes Youji as his if he's gullible enough to follow him like a lamb to the slaughter.

Feeling like the only way someone can love you is through violence and control has been hardwired into Zenya's brain (tbh it was to me too through my abusive family though I'm lucky enough to be away from that and in a stable enough position to be able to work on actively unlearning that). Zenya's ending just fucking hit me like a semi truck because I can see how if I had been genuinely permanently trapped in my terrible situation like he is I could have ended up doing something similar. It's fucking chilling.

Literally everything I've talked about so far is already Real As Fuck for my problems specifically but then even Zenya's relationship with gender is similar to mine like oh my god. Zenya is a defective Male and it's hurt him so fucking deeply. Of course he resents perfect Male Tetsuo who easily gets everything that's been ripped away from him, god Zenya's jealousy is written so well. But the fucking awesome thing about Zenya is how he doesn't try to overcompensate masculinity like one might expect him to with a life like that-- Zenya doesn't use his trauma with masculinity as an excuse to resent all things feminine, but the exact opposite. Zenya leans into his nurturing side-- even in his ending where he literally keeps Youji as his sex/breeding slave he talks about how he wants to take care of him, how he wants to bathe with him and eat with him like. Did Tetsuo do ANYTHING remotely similar in the numerous times he raped Youji?? Literally one of the last parts of VLG is Zenya getting Youji clothes to match his beloved Kristi, Kristi whom he loves and does his best to nurture and take care for throughout the entire game, even making plans for how Kristi will be cared for after his inevitable death in the more "canon" endings. I tend not to headcanon gender and sexuality stuff on characters so I'm not going to theorize about what labels Zenya could be but I just want to say, as a bigender person I've never ever had a character I felt represented how I feel about myself and gender fuckery like with Zenya.

Just. God. I could talk even more about Zenya's reactions to canon events + his feelings about the religion and his chances of being saved but I don't think I have any coherency left at this point lmao. I relate to Zenya so fucking hard it kind of hurts, all of his traits are just so fucking real to me. As someone with such deep-running problems that impair my ability to function and react appropriately to stimuli I just honestly haven't seen a character I could relate to this deeply.

#im so embarrassed lmao god im. zenya shaped brainworms have infested my brain #sweet pool is the ultimate transmasc allegory okay

[cocomilk-subs]

3DOLC x ROE!

I'm modifying this challenge according to my own personal manifestation rules. Instead of "manifesting" I am doing a concentrated "deep focus" on my life, purely focusing on my 4D experience rather than paying mind to my 3D mirror experience. I'm basically going to do a 3-day-(or less)-long meditation on my living reality.

If at the end of this "meditation" I return to my mirror and see that it's matching my 4D, then I know I have "succeeded".

My reality which I'll be awareness-ing on (i'll call "desires" traits instead):

My dream (and current) body (including 6'4 height, ideal face, toned body, model visuals, my ideal male body)

Being the hottest guy ever seen

10 million dollars in my bank account

Dream family (supportive, non-toxic or emotionally unstable, etc)

My sibling having their desired body

Immune to all allergens

Healed vision, healed ear

Dream car (and a license)

Walkable town that's much cuter, social and has more charm (this God does not allow for car-dependent suburbs smh)

Self confidence and dream personality

Always have been the top student at school and the school's 'prince' (i read too many exaggerated manhwas)

My crush falling in love with me (they've got the highest standards i swear lol)

Everything in my amazon cart to have been bought and sent for me

Heightened intelligence, to the level of the top student in my corner of the country

Studying isn't stressful or time consuming for me, I have the time to balance between engineering and drawing out my comic

Bringing disco back (this is not ENTIRELY a joke)

Affirmations & Focus: Self-diagnosed here, but pretty sure my ADHD brain jumps between too many things. So my affirmations are short and straightforward and looped over and over so I naturally start to branch out to different thoughts about the topic. They trigger free vaunts and visualisations inside my head without even having to make the effort lmao

In reality always wanted, bruh. Bruh, I'm in the reality I've always wanted.

Everything, regardless of everything. I've got everything, regardless of everything.

Fuck you, are you blind? Look at ___ "It's done and in my reality, if you deny this you're blind, just look at [trait] here (e.g. just look at my sexy af hair wth get your eyes checked want me to pay for it for you with my american express black card? huh?)"

All my traits, less than three days "i've got all my 'traits' in less than three days"

It's just [trait], you just got [trait] lol ("It's just numbers, you just got millions of numbers in your bank account why is that even smth to be proud of it's so normal, god")

Start date: Saturday July 16 (11:12 PM)/Sunday July 17 End date: Tuesday July 19

#3dolc x roe #3dolc #manifesting #law of assumption #neville goddard

[twistedtavern]

While I wait for the poll to wrap up, I am going to do something objectively silly and rank how good my different AU versions of Maruki would be at generally being a boyfriend. Worst to best. YES FAVORITISM I KNOW

WHAT ARE YOU DOING -

MarukAI: First off, unethical AI practices. Second off, literally half of the directive it was made for is just murdering the real human version. It doesn't even come with any cool robot features, it's just emotionally unstable to a genuinely explosive degree. Anything happens ever and it's just screaming its fake lungs out. You're better off just handing it a baby doll and walking away very, very slowly.

TAKEN (nothing wrong with them they're just not interested lmao) -

Generation!Maruki: Konoe's "TEAMMATES?! FRIENDS?!?!" moment literally happened because Maruki turned him down due to, y'know, Rumi existing. You will get the same. Please don't break into Rumi's house over it.

Distortion!Maruki: Nothing personal this is just Maruki but old man yaoi. He's preoccupied being a dilf enjoyer

ARE YOU SURE -

Glamrock!Maruki: Are. Are you sure honey. Sweetie. Sweetie that is a robotic children's entertainer. Don't kiss him he was literally just eating out of the actual garbage 10 minutes ago. You can't even take him on a date anywhere because he will JUMP THE WAITER!! Yes I know he sits so polite to eat snacks and talk with you and he plays guitar really well but HONEY. HONEY NO HE HAS A COMPUTER VIRUS!!! Also, I REALLY don't wanna see the bill Madicce Entertainment would charge you for dating him.

Bowser!Maruki: So,, he's only this far down because of the kidnapping. Repeated kidnapping. And the other war crimes. But! He's a 10ft tall single father of 8! And a king! Can you really blame him?? He's very sorry about the war crimes. He'll take you on vacation to make up for it! Just ignore his daughter fucking up the local ecosystem with paint and your hired guard getting arrested about it. And saying you're her mother. But he'll give you a very nice wedding down the line! You'll have to also ignore the other kids committing multiple acts of international grand larceny behind his back to make it happen. You may or may not have consented to this wedding to begin with.

Reverse!Maruki: Uhm,,, I mean people talk about himbos but I don't think they mean a man with the reaction time of Padparadscha Steven Universe. What are you even gonna do on a date?? Have him stare at you? Not even lovingly, just stare??? Just get a body pillow at this point, because at least it won't jumpscare you with random bouts of becoming sapient again. At the end of it all I swear you will probably have learned NOTHING about him AT ALL even though he'd manage to undercut all of your efforts to reach him by pinpointing something about you completely out of left field. Also, he has counselled MORE than one whole entire murderer, so... Take that as you will. Weird ex you only hear stories about type man.

DECENT MAN TIER -

Self Aware!Maruki: Now we're getting somewhere! He's very sweet, has no murders to his name, loves kids, and his only crime was one incident that can technically be called a kidnapping and was definitely a direct brain tampering, but!! he was very nice and gentle about it and now that kid is in a loving home. A surprise adoption, as they say. Very Maruki. He may also have way more than a little trauma and emotional repression issues, but all in all, a very good and well behaved boy. As a bonus, he's extremely touch starved! And his alternate persona outfit is very cunty, I will give him that. 10/10 would get carried by him in every single battle again.

Hastur!Maruki: Yeah this is just Maruki if he got sparkle eyes at literally everything, served infinite cunt, sang, and had a DECENT BOSS OUTFIT WHAT THE FUCK ATLUS. And also had a final fight that you can ATTEMPT while high at the cost of your fucking life. You will have a stroke. He'd be very sweet and lovey with you! No notes, just a good pretty Maruki who'd get you glitter dusted flowers.

#persona 5 au #takuto maruki

[lesbianvillain]

yesterday i was very mentally and emotionally unstable and i now know why. so when i dont take my meds one night The Symptoms hit me two days later. and i didnt have my meds two nights ago(not by my own choice!!! it was not on purpose!!!) and thats why i was insane

sometimes i forget how mentally ill i am until i forget/skip a night of meds <3

i had like several meltdowns yesterday over...the dumbest shit im not gunna lie LMAO remember to take your medicine kids they're important

[primordialscream]

genuine question: if you felt like you were not emotionally stable enough to be on social media, would you try to pretend like everything was fine or would you just give up on that? and i mean a full, clean break from tumblr, twitter, facebook and possibly instagram, deleting accounts so i don't get "tempted" to come back. because lately i have noticed how easily i get triggered and how my ocd gets extremely worse when i am exposed to social media, and honestly i am fucking tired of being emotionally unstable literally because i can't stand all the info that i get from these platforms – it's like a permanent state of overload that is driving me insane and that has to do with lots of things, but social media make it worse. i know you can block stuff, but it's not that. it's like everything is too much, i don't know. i have become so drained that i have no clue on what is best for my mental health lmao

#sorry i am in the middle of such a mental breakdown #have been for about a week but rn is getting worse #so. yeah lmao #personal