#...*10 pages longer than chapter 2

[lunarsands]

I don't need to finish the chapter yet, I just need to write at least a page. I don’t need to finish the chapter yet, I just need to write at least a page. I don't need to finish the chapter yet, I just need to write at least a page. I

#writer things #writer problems #I keep getting stuck worrying about chapter length #chapter 3 is now 10 pages longer than chapter 1 #and I have A LOT more events to cover in it #rip chapter outlines. you were apparently pointless #I'm going to end up bumping this to like 20 chapters total #...*10 pages longer than chapter 2 #yeah that's the state I'm in tbh

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.1 gojo satoru sent you a message

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader (f)

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, mentions of weed, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot

ᰔ chapter. 1/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 1.3k (short one to start off, but the rest are longer)

a/n. welcome to this pilot chapter! this was originally going to be a one-shot but i got way too carried away and ended up planning out a whole series. i hope you enjoy!

nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 :: ch6 :: ch7 :: ch8 :: ch9 :: ch10 (pending)

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

|| 2:13AM Gojo Satoru has requested to follow you

You blink the sleepiness in your eyes away as the harsh light of your phone hits your face. Somewhere in the middle of the crazy dream you were having, you heard your phone incessantly pinging and eventually woke you up to make you realize you forgot to turn the ringer off before going to sleep. Among all the spam email, iCloud storage warnings, and news headliners, there was one notification in particular that had you wondering if you were still dreaming.

“Ugh…y/n, please, turn your phone off,” you heard your roommate Mina mumble in the twin sized bed at the other end of the room as she shuffled her pillow above her head so that it covered both of her ears. You glance out the window of your shared apartment, peering at the pale moonlight, before your tired and heavy eyes travel back to your phone and press on the Instagram notification.

Suspecting this was maybe some prank account, you clicked on the small icon in your inbox that took you to a profile page. Gojo Satoru, Senior at University of Tokyo, Business Major, D1 Soccer #10, SAE. 12k followers, 172 following, 38 posts. 

Still thinking you’re dreaming, you accept the follow request and watch as the number on his following increases by one, now 173. Your thumb swipes up on your phone as you take in the square images of his profile. Pictures of him and his friends recreating memes…food that he’s eaten recently…frequent vacation posts in exotic countries…and a whole lot of what seemed to be professionally taken soccer photos of him striking goals and hitting balls with his head in mid air. You have put a lot of effort into your own Instagram photos (despite your modest 464 followers), mostly posting compilation slideshows of your favorite film photos that you’ve taken recently, yet somehow his feed looks much more inviting than yours.

You turn onto your side and continue to look through his photos. 624 comments, 373 comments, 958 comments. Many were from his friends trying to embarrass him, and many others were from girls that probably wanted him to notice them. You noticed he only really replied to comments from his friends. 

You knew who he was, of course. Gojo Satoru was one of the most, if not the most, popular guys on your college campus. When you got to college, you thought the whole “social hierarchy” thing would be over but it still seemed like there were certain groups of people that almost everyone knew about, "elite" individuals who other students could only dream of associating with. At UTokyo, the fraternities and sororities practically owned the place so of course Gojo was well-known since he was a member of the school’s most iconic frat, SAE. Not to mention, the school adored its soccer team–undefeated since 2012–and Gojo Satoru was the most talented center forward the division has seen in years. 

But as for why he requested to follow you, a film major that doesn’t play any sports and isn’t even in a sorority, well you’re just not sure. 

It’s then when you get yet another notification. 

“Oh my god, y/n, turn it off!” Mina mumbles into her mattress. You click the side button to turn off the ringer. 

|| 2:24AM Gojo Satoru sent you a message 

Your heart starts to beat a bit faster as you quickly slide to your DMs page. You notice three unread conversations from a few of your friends, probably from when they decided to send you their entire explore page, and then you see a little (1) next to your message requests box. When you open it, you see his icon in your inbox. It’s a simple picture of him in his soccer jersey, his smile wide as one of his team members who was mostly cropped out of the photo seemed to be putting him in a headlock. You see the first few words of the message.

|| 2:24AM Gojo Satoru: Hey, sorry if this is weir…

You’re about to click on it when you stop yourself. It was really late at night and you didn’t know if you wanted to entertain a conversation with this man you knew literally nothing about (at least on a personal level) and weren’t even sure why he was messaging you in the first place. Plus, he would see that you’ve read it and so you would feel anxious to respond. But there was no way to see his full message unless you opened it. Even though you considered this to be weirdly intimate since it was a message sent at two in the morning, you figured that was probably normal for the likes of people like Gojo Satoru, who probably were out drinking and partying until five in the morning every night, regardless of any 8AM lectures or not. 

But unfortunately, curiosity always kills the cat (that’s the expression, right?) and so you click on his message. 

|| 2:24AM Gojo Satoru: Hey, sorry if this is weird…I don’t think we’ve ever met before, but my buddy’s really into your roommate, and he’s tried to invite her out to our frat’s house parties but he’s had no luck. Think you could convince her to come this weekend? You’re welcome to come too, of course

You blink in surprise before rolling your eyes, not entirely sure why you were expecting any different. Maybe Mina wasn’t budging on his friend’s advances because she wants to be asked out on an actual date, and not to some house party. But you figured frat guys wouldn’t really understand that. Besides, how did he know that you were her roommate? You’re just about to type a response when you see three little dots in the left side corner, indicating he was typing, and you hold your breath.

|| 2:27AM Gojo Satoru: Here are the details

And then he sends you a post from what looks like his fraternity’s Instagram page. There’s an address, a time, the name of the DJ and girls get in free bolded at the top. You realize you’ve never even been invited to a fraternity’s house party until this very moment. 

You briefly consider not responding to him and just setting your phone back down on your nightstand, rolling over, and falling asleep. But you find your fingers moving on their own to type.

|| 2:31AM You: you’re messaging me to help your friend get with my roommate?

There’s an uncomfortable two minutes where there’s no response from him and for some reason your anxiety is through the roof. You remember the countless times you’ve heard people describe Gojo Satoru in passing: there’s just something about him that demands your attention. 

His notification pops up at the top of the Instagram app when you were scrolling through reels to distract yourself and you accidentally clicked on it too fast. 

|| 2:33AM Gojo Satoru: Uh, yeah? 

You sigh as you ponder the proposition. You don’t even know for sure why Mina wasn’t really responding to his friend’s advances, maybe the guy was a creep or just not her type. And even if she was somewhat interested in him, she’s already refused to go to any of their frat’s house parties, so how would you be able to persuade her? 

You finally convince yourself you’ve had enough of Gojo’s messages for the night and you’ll choose whether or not you want to revisit the topic again in the morning, until another message flashes across your screen.

|| 2:38AM Gojo Satoru: What can I do to get you to convince her to come this weekend?

You bite down on your lip at his question, and an idea flashes through your mind.

|| 2:40AM You: i’ll find a way to convince her. my terms and conditions will come later

He responds in a second.

|| 2:40AM Gojo Satoru: Deal 

a/n. thank you for reading! i also post this story over on AO3, if you're more into that format, but i just wanted to start posting over here on tumblr too. hope to see you in the next one!

➸ take me to chapter two!

#anime #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader #gojo smut #jjk gojo #geto suguru #nanami kento #choso kamo #toji fushiguro #yuji itadori #aoi toudou #sukuna ryomen #yaga masamichi #alternate universe #college #college au #soccer #sports au #fraternity #sorority #tw drinking #partying #romance #smut #fluff #angst #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jjk smut #series

[ao3commentoftheday]

i'm curious about the reason ao3 users subscribe to works, previously i assumed that it was used just for WIPs but since writing for a new fandom and reading your blog i've realized its far more common to sub to complete works than i thought. though i appreciate the attention on my works, i was initially frustrated seeing subscription stats on works that were complete, esp bc i have seen readers in this specific fandom insist that writers continue works that they stated were completed. i had considered creating a poll bc i would be interested in the statistics of why readers subscribe to works on ao3, is this a fandom specific behavior or remnants of fandom elders continuing old habits? you can totally ignore this if it's redundant, im mostly just rambling and feel like i dont understand ao3 bc i've only been posting for a few years that i haven't experienced much fandom interaction until recently.

AO3 users are no different from users of any other website. We all make use of features in ways that work for us - even if those ways are different from (or counter to) their intended use.

Some users subscribe to completed works and/or oneshots because they hope authors might come back some day and add on. I once left a oneshot for something like 2 years and then came back and turned it into a 10 chapter fic because I had an idea for something longer and the oneshot was the setup I needed. It saved me writing the start.

Some authors will also add a new chapter onto a completed work to let readers know they've posted a new work in the series. Again, the subscription lets readers know a new work is there for them to go and read.

Other reasons they might do this include:

wanting to show the writer more love. They've commented, kudos'd and bookmarked already, so subscription is all they have left to say "I LOVED THIS!"

similar to this, not realizing what the subscription is so they press it because they're pressing all of the buttons to say ❤️

thinking that the subscribe button on and individual fic will act the same as the subscribe button on an author's profile page. i.e., they think if they hit the subscribe button on the work, that'll set up a subscription to the author instead of the story

finding it easier to sort through subscriptions to find their favourite works because their bookmarks are too numerous or disorganized

This is an individual thing and not a fandom thing. There might be a generational difference, but that's mostly just because the nature of online subscriptions and creator subscriptions has changed over time and the way modern social media handles it is different from how the Archive handles subscriptions. Mostly it just comes down to personal preference and quirks of habit.

Readers, feel free to share if you have another reason for subscribing to completed works. Did I miss any?

#asks and answers

[avelera]

Avelera's Dreamling Fic Status Update:

Keeping Sanctuary (subscribe for updates here) - Giving Sanctuary Sequel follows Dream and Hob from the events of the altered meeting in 1689 up to the modern era. (aka, What if they hooked up after the 1689 meeting?) Current word count: ~7,000 words across several chapters. Realistic progress update: 1/10 complete total, Ch. 1 is about 1/5 complete.

(The rest are below the cut!)

Come live with me and be my love - Dream and Hob fall in love during the Regency Era when Dream loses a bet to Desire. Shenanigans ensue. (aka, What if they hooked up after the 1789 meeting?) Ch. 16 is at 2,500 words, probably about 1/3 done. Current plan is to wrap up Part 1 in the next few chapters then create a part 2 which finishes out their "1 year of marriage" on a month by month basis instead of following them day to day like Part 1 done. Probably won't be a separate fic though, just a change of format.

This Rough Magic - My take on "Hob rescues Dream from Burgess" with a twist that Hob ends up on Burgess's radar himself when he picked up some occult magic skills in the hopes of contacting Dream after 1889 and apologizing. Now he has to pretend to be friends with Burgess in order to get them both out of there, because Burgess thinks Hob can help force Dream to give him immortality. (aka, What if they hooked up after the 1889 meeting?) Ch. 9 is about 800 words in. Story is still very much in progress I just have a lot of WIPs, as you can see.

Joke's On You (I'm Into That) - The 1589 meeting goes very different when Hob proposes to Dream, who is so offended that he just can't let the matter go. A very angry, very horny competition kicks off between them. (Aka, what if they hooked up in 1589 when they were both at their absolute worst as people?) I have literally 40,000 words written for the rest of this fic. The problem is, there's big gaps in that first draft I have to fill in and scenes that need to be added. This might be my favorite WIP but it's also the hardest to write with all the smut scenes so it'll arrive whenever I can manage, I'm afraid.

Banana Daiquiris Ch. 2 - Comic-canon compliant (mostly) - Dream fakes his death to go on a vacation with Hob and Destruction. They end up in Tahiti. Destruction plays matchmaker. Hob doesn't know whether to thank Destruction or strangle him. Current word count 6,000 words. I've been playing around with adding on to this fic for ages. One of these days, I'll pull it all together.

And for fics that haven't been posted anywhere yet (you can subscribe on my Ao3 author page for alerts about them):

Hob Amesia Fic - Dream and Hob are dating officially now in the 21st century when Hob gets hit with what seems to be a memory loss curse, shaving off 100 years of his life each day until Dream finds a cure. This effectively grants Dream a walk down memory lane as he is reacquainted with the Hob of each era and, in the process, learns how much longer Hob cared for him than Dream ever realized. Current word count: 35,000 words. Currently writing 1489 (1889-1589 are done) and I might re-write the opening. It genuinely kills me not to have this one posted lol.

"Dream Accidentally Cursed Hob with a Normal Life" Fic - Dream learns that from 1689 on, Hob's life has been safe. Too safe. Improbably safe. Nothing bad or extraordinary or even terribly special has happened to him since Dream began to consider Hob his friend. He knows this because during his imprisonment, Hob's life became exciting again and suddenly went back to normal the day Dream was freed. Hob is not convinced that Dream is the reason for this, Dream disagrees. They talk about it. And fight about it. And some things that they've probably needed to talk about for a long time finally get said. (aka, sometimes the author just needs to write their weird headcanon into a 20,000 word fic that's almost entirely dialogue). Current word count: 16,000 words. This one also kills me that it's not done yet.

"Fairy God Marlowe" - 1589 fixit fic where Hob and Kit Marlowe strike up a conversation while Dream and Shaxberd are talking. Hob and Marlowe talk about plays, and faith, and salvation, and queer love, and what it means to live forever. Hob gets a second chance at a first impression. Current word count: ~5,000 words. Sadly, it's all dialogue in script format. I'd need to convert it into prose to publish which would be a slog. So it's a bit shelved until I find the energy to do so. No, I will not post it in script format, I'm allergic to the thought.

I've got a few other concepts kicking around, but these are the ones that actually have (*does a quick calculation*) over 100,000 words written that I haven't had the chance to post yet?? And it's driving me insane????

Anyway, I should probably pin this post for those curious lol. Feel free to ask me any follow-up questions, I love talking about WIPs even as they ruin my life!

#dreamling #maggie's writing progress #dreamling fic update #1689 fic #1589 fic #arranged marriage au dreamling

[lost-family]

Hey everyone! So, here is an update on the comic: In the first part of chapter 2, less than 10 pages remain for sketching (previous one was for thumbnailing and rough sketching)! These last remaining pages are the more difficult ones as they probably contain an angle or detailed background I still have to figure out.

but I also came here to mention that this chapter will no longer have two parts; it will only have one part, which is the one I'm currently working on. That means the second part of chapter 2 will become chapter 3. I realized that it was probably for the best of me, especially for the story since Part 2, which is now Chapter 3, is a little more longer than Chapter 2. whats great abt this is that I have the script done! and I can just head straight to thumbnail sketches once chapter 2 is complete!

thats all I have to say for now! once I'm done sketching I will upload them on my Kofi for anyone who is a Star Tip member!

#txt #update

[hiorintruther]

An Updated ‘Reasons Why I Ship Hiorin’ — Because It’s Been Ages Since I Made The First One And I’ve Had More Thoughts (and we got more moments!)

Aka: can you tell this ship makes me mentally unwell?

Hi again! It’s been a while. I did make one of these long posts a while back outlining why I choose to ship hiorin even though they’ve barely interacted and on the surface don’t look like they’d make sense at all. Since then, hiorin has gained quite a few shippers in the fandom and I keep thinking about my boys, especially with the Bastard Munchen vs PXG game FINALLY giving us some new moments. Unsurprisingly, ever since making the first post I’ve also had a lot more ideas about the dynamic, it’s potential, some more connections between them that I never touched on before, etc… and rather than editing the other post I thought it would be easier to just make a new one.

Some stuff I go over here might be familiar from the first post. I want this to be a kind of hub for any and all of my hiorin interpretations, analysis, trivia, headcanons, ‘theories’ (which I don’t think will be canon but the narrative potential for them is through the roof) and anything else I think is relevant to the ship. Feel free to jump around and read whatever is most interesting for you. Hiorin is a ship that, for me, is built on mountains of untapped potential. I just want to bring that potential to light all in one place.

Note: for this post I’ll only use information that has been written by Kaneshiro, drawn by Nomura or Sanomiya, or has otherwise been green-lit by Kaneshiro as canon. Merch collabs, voice actor QnAs, the PWC game etc… for me do not count as canon and I won’t use them. Also, the 10-image limit is biting my ass so my formatting for certain bits might be a bit all over the place. Apologies.

So without further ado. Let’s start! Enjoy the yap sesh!

Part 1 — The Manga Canon

Hiorin get their (very sparse and brief) interactions mostly from the Third Selection Arc (chapters 87-108) and the U20 arc (chapters 109-151). We recently got some new moments in the BM vs PXG match (chapters 250-present).

First off, the tryouts. It’s implied here that Hiori and Rin have never met, as Hiori notices Isagi’s response to Rin and asks if Isagi knows who Rin is. Rin also doesn’t acknowledge Hiori in any way here, so we can presume they’re strangers (although some shippers like to headcanon that they met during the first selection).

That being said during the match, after Isagi has been thoroughly shut down by Karasu, Rin turns his attention to Hiori as a teammate to help him get the ball up the field. Rin has never seen Hiori play before (as far as we know). They’ve never even talked. They’re barely getting familiar with each other’s play styles. And yet, they immediately link up to form a clean, deadly back and forth that optimises Rin’s play style. In fact, this duo helped Rin score 1 goal, and it would have helped Rin score 2 had Shidou not rudely interrupted the second.

It was so deadly that Otoya had to intervene specifically to break them up, so that they could no longer continue their one-two passes up the field and threaten to go for another goal. (Also notice in this page below how as soon as the kickoff happened, Hiori was already running into position in the background. He understands what Rin wants to do).

Not only did Hiori and Rin naturally form a link-up, but Hiori was also fully capable of keeping up with Rin, something Nanase admitted he struggled with during this match and even Isagi was struggling with as well, since later on we see Isagi fail to intercept one of Hiori’s passes due to not being able to reach it in time (which presumably Rin would have been able to were he in Isagi’s position). So, from what we see of Hiori and Rin in this match, they’re on a similar wavelength in terms of skills, field vision and gameplay, and are naturally able to link up even as strangers. I’ll note here that neither of them were playing at full power — Hiori was playing on 0 motivation, and Rin was still utilising his Puppeteer play style instead of his Destroyer. More on this later in the ‘Headcanons’ section.

After the Tryouts, we next see them interact in the U20 match. We start with a brief callback to their tryouts link up in chapter 132, where Rin passes to Hiori. Hiori is acting as a relay between Isagi and Rin, which in my opinion would be a good way to utilise him in the current manga after the NEL. Whether or not that’s how Kaneshiro chooses to use him in the future is anyone’s guess though.

The next big moment comes in chapter 140, after Shidou has kicked Rin in the face and the game has briefly paused. I think this is by far the most ‘iconic’ hiorin moment. While Isagi is analysing the previous gameplay and Karasu is arguing with the ref, it’s Hiori who is the only one to actually go and check on Rin. Even Bachira and Reo were right next to Rin and neither of them were the ones going up to him. Hiori was further down the field but he was the one who moved to help Rin first. Not only is he gentle with and worried for Rin, but by some miracle Rin actually accepts his help! It feels almost out of character given how angry Rin is for the rest of the match, but for this very brief moment he lets Hiori help him up and reassures him that he’s ‘totally fine’ (yeah sure buddy…).

For many this is the main ‘ooooooh’ moment with hiorin. But what if I told you it actually happens a second time this match? After Aiku goes rogue in chapter 142 and tries to score a goal, Rin ends up slide-tackling him to prevent it. And once again, if you look in the background of the panels following the interception in chapter 143, who is it helping Rin stand? It’s Hiori. And this time they actually hold hands!

The final hiorin moment in the U20 match come soon after this in chapter 144, when Rin is about to enter his Destroyer mode. When Rin enters Destroyer mode, Hiori is in possession of the ball and so Rin steals it from him in a completely unpredictable move that had everyone stunned.

The U20 match moments, for many of us hiorin shippers, felt like the last time we’d ever see them properly interact. I at least had zero hopes for PXG. But oh boy was I wrong! Kaneshiro might not realise the dynamic he’s setting up with this duo but I’m gonna milk every interaction for what it’s worth! And so with that, I’ll bring you to the BM vs PXG match (note: currently still ongoing, so I might have to update this section soon). Since the U20 match, we’ve had some changes. The biggest one is Hiori’s personality. After going through his arc in Ubers, Hiori has become more outspoken and confident, playing into his ‘Ultra-Sadist’ style and being more than happy to speak his mind. He’s more argumentative and can whip up a good piece of trash talk (my gamer boy fr!). We see this on full display in chapter 251 when he completely shuts down Rin’s goal opportunity because Rin was too focussed on Isagi to see the bigger picture of the match. He turns around, points at Rin, and tells him “if ya want a goal… come at me with an unpredictable script!”

Notice here how he isn’t simply putting Rin down for not being able to score. Hiori may be taunting Rin, but he does still technically give Rin helpful advice. In a previous panel he explains how he was able to read Rin because Rin was too focussed on Isagi, and in combination with Hiori’s ‘unpredictable script’ line it forms some rather blunt and rude but nevertheless useful advice. Hiori is telling Rin exactly how to get past him and what Rin needs to do to improve. Notice the focus on unpredictability. This is veering into headcanon territory, but I don’t think it’s too unreasonable to think that perhaps Hiori is thinking about Rin’s unpredictable Destroyer mode. He experienced it first hand when Rin stole the ball from him in the U20 match. He knows what Rin is truly capable of. To Hiori, that version of Rin is a reasonable expectation (and I’ll get to their relationship with ‘expectations’ later) that would be the perfect key to getting through BM’s defence. But Rin isn’t showing that off because his obsession with defeating Isagi over scoring goals is hurting his performance. Hiori’s advice is reasonable and maybe Rin should listen to it.

As of right now, the final moment we have of them together is from chapter 259, where Hiori is aided by Raichi to block Rin in a 2-person press, causing Rin to lose the ball. From a purely indulgent shipping perspective, notice how Hiori and Rin’s legs are touching, their hands are on each other’s chests and they’re looking at each other. Raichi is just there lol.

This may be it for their canon interactions, however it’s far from all the canon information we have about them that’s interesting for the dynamic. A big part of the hiorin ship is about looking at their individual information and drawing together similarities and/or parallels. While on the surface they seem very different, almost opposites, digging a little deeper reveals a lot of small coincidences about them that build up to make you realise that they’re a lot more similar than you might initially think.

Part 2 — Where Hiori and Rin Align

Analytical players. Both of them have a deeply analytical play style that utilises field vision and high levels of technical skills. They don’t rely on brute strength or pure intimidation to get through the opponents’ defence, rather they analyse, play with and overcome their opponents with strategy and out-play their opponents with sheer levels of skill. This similarity is likely what led to them to be able to so easily link up when they first met.

Sadism. Both are known sadists. Rin’s Destroyer mode is particularly sadistic but in general he revels in being at the top with others under him. He’s open with his insults and destroys chaotically, looking for breaks in his opponents’ defence and completely tearing them down until there’s no hope of his opponents winning. Hiori is a self-proclaimed “ultra-sadist” (personally I think he’s more a sado-masochist but we’re sticking to canon only here). After his arc, he enjoys watching his opponents scramble to try and keep up with him only to be destroyed by his top-tier plays, especially in a ‘best play’ scenario with his chosen striker of the moment. He’s also not loyal to any one striker and will leave them behind if they’re not playing up to his standards or goal vision. Hiori’s sadism also manifests as him teasing his friends, as we see in chapter 241 when he jokingly teases Isagi for getting shipped with Kaiser by BLTV fans.

Sae connections. Rin is Sae’s younger brother and was abandoned by Sae after Sae returned home from Spain. He says he hates his brother after the U20 match, when Sae noticed Isagi over Rin, and now Rin is playing for the sake of crushing Sae (more on this later). Hiori also has connections to Sae though. He’s been compared to Sae twice in-universe, once by Sendou in chapter 129 who said his passes had the same level of skill as Sae’s, and once by Yukimiya in chapter 241 who thinks Hiori’s ultra-sadist mindset is similar to Sae’s.

They’re both gamers. Obviously we know Hiori is one. That’s been a big part of his character ever since we first met him. However, Rin also plays video games, specifically horror games. We get this info from both the Egoist Bible and his prequel light novel, where it explains that he plays horror games to de-stress at night: (chapter 2) “… even games, should be chilling and scary. Playing horror games alone at night is quite thrilling”.

Horror, gore and zombies. As well as playing horror games to de-stress, it’s explained in the Egoist Bible and Rin’s light novel that he watches horror movies for the same reason: (chapter 2) “When he’s done, he watches a horror movie and then goes to bed. This is his daily routine. For some reason, since Sae has been gone, he only watches horror movies. Movies, videos …”. The light novel slightly expands on this to specify he enjoys splatter films, as well as showing an illustration of him watching rather a gory zombie movie: (chapter 4) “Lately, he's been into splatter films. The one where a killer comes out with an electric saw and a big-ass ax, then blood splatters all over the place. The one where a killer chases you no matter how hard you try to escape, and if you get caught, you end up being dismembered. His heart is pounding, but he’s not the type to show on his face, so Rin watching the slaughter scene without any expression on his face is much more horrifying”. Likewise, Hiori is shown in chapter 206 playing a zombie shooter in which he imagines the zombies being his parents and he violently kills them. We see his inner monologue of this in his prequel light novel, showing the depths of how much he wants them to suffer: (chapter 6) “Before he knew it, in his imagination, his parents became zombies. His father and mother are coming towards him, laughing. He shoots without hesitation. Bang! Headshot. The bullet that entered the father's jaw blew off the back of his head. Bang! Bang! His mother's eyeballs pop out and there's a hole in her chest. He aims for vital spots with rapid fire, but they don't fall easily because they're zombies”.

Solitude. They’re both introverts according to their MBTIs. Rin is ranked as the most anti-social member of Blue Lock in the Egoist Bible. He says he “doesn’t have time for lukewarm conversations” (although I do think on some level he longs for approval and love from someone, given how much he craves his brother’s attention). He is also one of the only characters who genuinely has no friends in Blue Lock. He tolerated Bachira for a time and trained Nanase begrudgingly, but no one is very close with him at all. Now, at a glance Hiori might seem far more social. He has a lot of friends and seems to enjoy hanging out with them. However, in a Twitter qna (which tend to have questions compiled for the Egoist Bible but alas Hiori doesn’t have a page) it was revealed that his ideal type in a romantic partner is “someone who can leave me alone”. The wording he used — 放置し合えるん — seems to imply a reciprocal nature of this ‘leaving alone’, ie ‘you leave me alone, I’ll leave you alone’. Now tell me that arrangement wouldn’t work perfectly for Rin. Hiori is also shown in chapter 172 (pre-character arc) spending time alone in the BM dorms while others are out training. While Hiori can enjoy socialising, he also needs plenty of time to himself to the point where it becomes a deal-breaker in a relationship for him.

Ochazuke (tea on rice). Rin’s favourite food according to the Egoist Bible is ochazuke, specifically taichazuke. In the new Episode Rin extra chapter we also see him going to enjoy some taichazuke at a traditional restaurant because he was hungry for ochazuke. When Hiori was asked in another Twitter qna what his favourite accompaniment for rice is, he replied that it was the ochazuke brand Nagatanien.

Stripes. Rin’s casual outfits for both the Shibuya collab (designed by Nomura) and Episode Rin feature a striped/ribbed pattern. Likewise, Hiori’s casual pyjamas, childhood design and one of Nomura’s coaster designs all feature him wearing striped clothing.

Eyelashes. Both of them have long under lashes. That’s kinda it for this one lol.

Name kanji (yes, I’m in this deep). In Rin’s surname, the kanji 糸 means ‘thread/yarn’. In Hiori’s surname, the kanji 織 means ‘weaver’. Both of them have kanji relating to weaving, likely in relation to both Rin’s Puppeteer play style (and Sae’s insane control of the midfield), and Hiori’s way of ‘weaving’ together a best play through his skills (and his parents ‘weaving’ his life for him rather than letting him control it himself). To get poetic about it, you could say Hiori is the weaver who knows how best to utilise Rin’s threads and can guarantee their shared goal vision will be woven into place. To get even more conspiracy theorist-y, when Charles meets Hiori he calls Hiori “水色お兄さん” — literally ‘water-coloured big brother’, likely in relation to his hair colour because 水色 can also mean ‘cyan’. To keep it on the topic of water though, whose aura is made of water? That’s right. Rin’s! (yes I know this is really grasping at straws but I did say this post was for EVERYTHING hiorin soooo).

Part 3 — Family Relationships: Love, Expectations and Abandonment

Rin and Hiori both have relationships with particular members of their family that are similar and also unique among the rest of the cast. For Rin, it’s his relationship with Sae. For Hiori, it’s his relationship with his parents.

To begin with Hiori, his parents only wanted a child who could fulfil their dream of being number 1. They held this expectation of him throughout his whole life, pretending to genuinely care about and love him when in reality all they wanted was for him to be the best. If he tried to step out of line, they’d become monstrous, as seen in Hiori’s light novel: (chapter 2) “Can I take a day off from soccer tomorrow and go play with my friends?” As soon as he said this, the smiles disappeared from his parents’ faces. His mother looked very surprised, and then she made the scariest face he's ever seen. “......!” He doesn’t remember what she said. He just remembers that he was scolded terribly. After that, he was hugged tightly. “Hiori, you are born to be the best at soccer.” “You can play with other kids anytime you want.” “But if you don’t do soccer properly from now on, you will never be the best.” His mother was desperate. His father was behind her, looking sadly at Hiori. “Please, Hiori, trust us and play soccer.” Hiori felt that he had done something very wrong. … What should I do? I said something bad. I'm sorry. The air was stifling, as if he had been locked in a room full of needles. He felt like he would get hurt if he moved, so all Hiori could do was nod.” We also see the extent of this in chapter 206, when Hiori overhears his parents threatening to get a divorce if he isn’t the best. This makes him realise that if he doesn’t fulfil their expectations, he’ll be abandoned by them.

With Rin, it’s a bit more complicated. His relationship with his older brother Sae is still pretty up in the air as to what really happened from Sae’s perspective. We need to distinguish between what actually happened (which is difficult to determine as of right now) and what Rin interpreted as happening. From his perspective, Sae pretended to love him while they were growing up, only using him as a stepping stone to get to the world stage. After that had been achieved, Rin was abandoned (as seen in his inner monologue in chapter 125). While it’s difficult to discern, on a broad scale we could argue that instead of this, Sae has a particular expectation of Rin that currently Rin is failing to meet, and as a result Sae sees this abandonment as somehow ‘necessary’ to get Rin to evolve… or he really has abandoned Rin and is just an asshole, but I hope towards the former. This is where I cry on deaf ears for a Sae light novel or spin-off chapter, anything to get his side of the story. My current interpretation of canon is that Sae still loves Rin, however he knows that Rin’s desire to be the world’s best as a duo is impossible, and his way of trying to ween Rin off such a dream was to sever their relationship. No matter what really happened though, I’m more interested in what Rin interpreted and took away from being abandoned, which is an interesting mix of hatred and confusion but also still a desire for recognition.

This to me reads as very similar to what Hiori’s relationship with his parents used to be. He hated them. He wished death upon them. And yet he kept fighting for what they wanted, fulfilling their expectations because he was so afraid that if he didn’t, all the blame would be placed on him for their family falling apart and his parents abandoning him. Rin’s situation is sort of a dark mirror to Hiori’s where instead of just fearing that abandonment, Rin was abandoned, with all the blame being placed on him by Sae. And yet, deep down, he’s still fighting for Sae’s approval and love again, trying to find any way he can to fulfil Sae’s expectations. We see this in the way Rin has chosen Isagi to be his rival, not because of anything in particular that Isagi has done, but because Sae acknowledged Isagi over him. We see his desire for love in the way he travelled to Tokyo in the Episode Rin extra chapter to possibly watch Sae’s match, even though they’d already fallen out by that point. Rin and Hiori both strove for love from their families, it’s just that Hiori has now managed to break free from this mindset and fight only for himself, meanwhile Rin is still clinging to the memory of Sae no matter how much he wants to crush Sae for abandoning him.

This complicated relationship the two of them have with love, expectations and abandonment in relation to family members is what draws me to a lot of hiorin headcanon material. Rin is cold, antisocial and ruthless, and yet Hiori potentially has the capacity to understand his pain more than anyone else. This is especially true now that Hiori has broken free of his parents’ expectations. It gives him the freedom to look at these situations more objectively while retaining an understanding of their emotional core. He knows how difficult it is to both hate your family but strive for their approval, perhaps fruitlessly. And likewise, Rin might be able to actually learn something from how Hiori overcame his situation by going all-in with the egoist mindset, playing only for himself, completely discarding his family members’ expectations.

Part 4 — Headcanons Part 1: The Hiorin Potential For A Joint Arc (which yes I know won’t happen. Let me dream)

Anything from this point on is pure headcanon, taking into account all the canon information listed in the previous sections. This is NOT ‘speculation’. I genuinely don’t think any of this will be canon or else Kaneshiro would have started calling attention to it by now in the main manga. However by the end of this I’m sure some of you will join me in wishing it could be canon, because even if Kaneshiro hasn’t consciously laid the groundwork for Rin and Hiori to have a joint arc together, he has done so by accident and all the pieces are in place.

The bulk of this section revolves around Rin’s Destroyer mode and Hiori’s ultra-sadism, as well as the ‘best-play’ scenario theorised by Isagi and Hiori in the recent PXG chapters. Basically, I think that a ‘best-play’ chemical reaction between ultra-sadist Hiori and Destroyer Rin would be both broken as fuck and would be a great way to showcase Rin’s character development as he learns to break away from wanting to crush Isagi and Sae.

In Rin’s light novel, we learn that as a child playing alongside Sae as a duo, Rin didn’t have the Puppeteer play style he’s known for in the main series. Instead, he was fully zoned in on himself and the game, moving on instinct, looking for the perfect spot to break through the enemy’s defence, trusting fully that he’d receive Sae’s pass (chapter 1): ‘“Rin, what are you thinking about when you play soccer?” Rin scored two goals in today’s match. Meanwhile, Sae scored three points with a hat trick. His Nii-chan is great after all. “Hm? Nothing. I guess it's just about goals. I just run to the bad area and then Nii-chan passes to me.” “What do you mean by bad area?” Sae asks, while playing with the stick in his mouth. “Hm. The area where the enemy panics and falls through.” The area the enemy falls through. Sae let his younger brother's words quietly seep into his mind. “You rely too much on your intuition, you know.” “But Nii-chan always passes to me, so why not? Nobody else is good enough for me.” That’s why it’s okay to move on impulse without thinking. “......What will you do when I’m not around?” “I don’t know but, I guess I’ll look for a replacement.” Rin says nonchalantly.’

This method of running ‘to the area where the enemy panics and falls through’ seems to be alluding to Rin’s Destroyer mode — the version of Rin we see in the final moments of the U20 match after he loses control and goes on a destructive rampage. Indeed, in chapter 152 we also see Rin wondering what this side of him is truly capable of and how he wants to try harnessing it more, but he still only wants to use it to destroy Isagi and Sae rather than playing for himself. His Puppeteer is not his original play style, instead it’s one he developed after Sae left in order to appease his teammates and be a able to carry his team to victory by himself (chapter 3); ‘Even in a high-level club team, no one could handle Rin’s moves’, (chapter 4): ‘Without Sae's passes, he can't play the way he wants to play’, (chapter 5): ‘Rin erases his best image and then captures the whole picture. In his head, he sees the movements of all the players, as if filmed from a drone’, (chapter 5): ‘No one understands Rin's frustration. But they can win, so that's fine. It's as if there are marionette strings attached to his teammates, controlling and moving the team…… That is Rin's new weapon. It is a play that can only be made with Rin's combination of technical, physical, and tactical skills. It has also led him to bring out the best in his teammates’. It was only in the U20 match that the Destroyer was able to come out again after it had been sealed away for so long. It was a completely different way of playing that was more primal and natural for Rin but less controlled and more clumsy due to his lack of practice using it. Still, its pure destructive power was insane enough to almost score.

In the current chapters of the manga, we know that Rin has gotten a certain better grasp of the Destroyer since the start of the NEL. In chapter 239 (immediately after Hiori says he’ll happily drop Isagi for someone else should they come along, mind you) we see Rin utilising a seemingly toned down version of the Destroyer against Nagi in the PXG vs MC match. Clearly he has been trying to improve it since first letting it loose again during the U20 match. However, so far in PXG vs BM we haven’t seen it at all. Given Hiori’s comment about focussing on Isagi and predictability, as well as Isagi and Hiori’s theory of ‘ego types’ and a ‘best play’ scenario, it appears as though Rin’s biggest problem is that he’s using a world-type ego to show off his skills to Isagi (and therefore, by extension, to Sae as well). This is the ego type suited for the Puppeteer, one that utilises teammates and was created for the sake of appeasing others. The Destroyer on the other hand seems far better suited to a ‘self-type’ ego because Rin accesses it when in a state of mind that ignores Isagi, ignores Sae and hyper-zones in on himself and his own ability to score a goal. This would mean that Rin’s ‘true’ ego is a ‘self-type’ but he is hindering himself by using a ‘world-type’ to try and prove something to Isagi and Sae.

Now, undoubtably we’ll see the Destroyer at some point in this match, and I really hope when it comes out we see it decimate Hiori. Since Hiori flat out told Rin to come at him with ‘an unpredictable script’, the Destroyer can be the ‘unpredictable script’ that blows Hiori away. And I think that would catch Hiori’s attention. Remember, his resolve in chapter 239 is to create the greatest striker, and his ultra-sadism means he’s more than happy to drop Isagi for someone he thinks is better. So, no matter what the outcome of the match is, I think Rin’s Destroyer should pique Hiori’s interest as a potential best striker candidate. This is especially so when you remember that Hiori has technically already experienced Rin’s Destroyer first hand in the U20 match, when Rin stole the ball from Hiori (interesting side note here: Hiori’s immediate thoughts before the ball was stolen from him were him struggling to figure out who he should pass to, Barou or Nagi. He thought ‘which one of you?’ but didn’t pass, in my eyes because he couldn’t envision the play working with either of them, and then immediately Rin stole the ball. Rin unknowingly answered the question Hiori was asking in those crucial seconds).

In the next arc (a U20 World Cup training mini-arc I’d presume), I’d have Hiori and Rin slowly start to come to an understanding. I think Hiori’s ultra-sadism would be incredibly useful in helping draw the Destroyer out of Rin because Hiori only passes to the best spot on the field. He doesn’t alter his level of play for the sake of his striker. So, if Rin is in a mindset where he’s too focussed on proving Sae wrong, crushing Sae and defeating Isagi, then his plays become affected and Hiori simply won’t pass to him, likely passing to Isagi instead. This creates a bottle-neck where Rin has to evolve his mindset, discarding the ‘world-type’ ego of the Puppeteer (which is still useful in some cases, but not here) and instead fully embrace the Destroyer. If he can get into that mindset, only focussing on himself and not Isagi, Sae or even the other players around him, zoning in on just the goal ahead, he is guaranteed to be rewarded by receiving Hiori’s perfect pass to the ideal spot where the enemy ‘breaks’. It mirrors how Sae used to pass to him in their childhood (remembering Hiori has been compared to Sae in terms of both skill and mindset), except now Rin isn’t thinking that he’s part of a permanent duo, rather he alone is the star and he can trust his midfielder to aid him and match goal-visions without the need for the Puppeteer.

The key word here is trust. Rin and Hiori would have to develop a level of trust. Hiori has to trust that Rin will embody the Destroyer, and Rin has to trust that Hiori will side with him. It’s why Hiori has currently been able to work so well with Isagi. Their goal visions aligned and they placed the utmost trust in each other to perform at their individual bests, thus leading to Isagi scoring successful goals. For me, if Rin could also reach this state, it would be a showcase of the culmination of his development as he breaks free of Sae and learns how to play fully for himself. It would simultaneously be a return to his childhood, where he was able to freely utilise the Destroyer without worrying about the rest of the team, while also showing his evolution because he no longer places that trust onto just Sae ‘because it’s Nii-chan’. When Rin trusts in Hiori, it wouldn’t be because ‘it’s Hiori’, rather it would be Rin fully focussing purely on himself and his own plays, forgetting about everything and everyone else, and simply allowing the ball to land in the ideal spot at his feet. It’s a completely sadistic, self-serving mindset, just like Hiori’s is from a midfielder’s perspective. Hiori’s ultra-sadism means he likely can’t be controlled by Rin’s Puppeteer style, since he plays for himself fully. Therefore in order to successfully earn Hiori’s passes, Rin would need to fully embrace the Destroyer, abandon Isagi and Sae clouding his judgement, and throw himself fully into goal-scoring. Hiori can’t be controlled but he’s reliable and can be trusted. I do think the road to building this trust should have its ups and downs. Let Rin get frustrated at Hiori not being controllable. Let Hiori want to see Rin improve while also not bending to Rin’s will. Let Hiori refuse to work with Rin sometimes. All of it would be part of a gradual, arc-spanning development for Rin that doesn’t take place in a single chapter.

In my personal opinion, having Hiori specifically be the midfielder who helps Rin most would be more narratively satisfying someone like Nanase (no hate to Nanase or nanarin tho. Love them 🫶). While Nanase works as a nice support for Rin especially at the moment in PXG, plus his sunshine personality might help to make Rin relax and open up more over time, his skill level isn’t quite up to scratch for Rin’s highest level plays. Nanase’s passes are useful with his ambidexterity but they aren’t clean. They aren’t as reliable. Rin still has to pay attention to Nanase in order to guarantee a successful play. He can’t block out literally everything else to hyper-focus on goal-scoring in this state. Hiori on the other hand provides that high level of play which means that Rin can afford to essentially forget Hiori even exists — the ball will still find its way to him. They wouldn’t even have to look at each other (much like the Isagi x Hiori best play we saw in Ubers that was recently recreated in PXG). There’s also the thematic element that Hiori has been compared to Sae before, setting him up as a Sae parallel which I think could be utilised in Rin’s evolution. Placing trust in Hiori would show that Rin is finally able to detach his reason to play from Sae and he can stop striving so strongly for Sae to notice him. Then there’s the shared relationship Hiori and Rin both have with expectations, love and abandonment, which could arguably help them get on each others wavelength to understand exactly what they want from a play and how best to execute a strategy they haven’t even discussed beforehand, as well as have Hiori be the one to help ‘create’ Rin since Hiori has already gone through the mental baggage of his arc and would understand Rin’s mental blocks.

Still, I do think canonically Rin and Nanase will be the duo that continues forwards into the next arc. Rin’s development will likely come from a combination of Nanase’s kindness, Isagi’s yap sessions and a lot of internal monologues. Meanwhile, Hiori will continue to improve alongside Isagi as a plot device who can be pulled out at convenient moments, while occasionally passing to other strikers for dramatic flair (I don’t really like this after Hiori’s resolve so strongly telegraphed that he’d very happily drop Isagi without a second thought, but oh well, what can you do?). I doubt Hiori will canonically play into Rin’s development at all.

Still, from the moment Rin and Hiori met in the third selection tryouts, they were able to flawlessly link up without the need for planning or communication. Hiori understood what Rin needed and moved to the perfect spot to work with him. If both of them were in Flow, creating a ‘best-play’ scenario with the Destroyer and the Ultra-Sadist, it would both be a show of incredible skill and high-level play while also showcasing Rin’s personal development and evolution, as well as utilising Hiori as a narrative support in a way that doesn’t impose him too strongly on the main plot but keeps him relevant and active in the story.

Part 5 — Headcanons Part 2: Some Fun Ideas

This section is all about some fun ideas I’ve had about hiorin, mostly trying to use canon as a strong basis so that they make sense. They aren’t things I think will ever be explored in canon but they’re fun to think about nonetheless. These can range from canon-adjacent to domestic AU material, it’s a whole mix really. I’ll probably come back to this bit every now and again to update it with new ideas I have, so keep an eye out for that.

A shared understanding. Since they’re both familiar with what they perceive to be feelings of false love from family members, it creates a situation where they can understand why they act the way they do better than anyone else. I hc that this would help them to more naturally form link-ups on the field, since they’d be in tune with each other’s mental states as well as general play styles, and off-field in being able to recognise when something has ticked off the other and resurfaced some unpleasant memories. I don’t think they’d really be ones to talk about their family traumas to each other openly, but they’d have an understanding of the things they do find out and wouldn’t think the other is overreacting, especially Hiori understanding Rin. While I think it’s good that Rin has friends like Nanase who he can be more chilled out with, I personally prefer the idea that his partner be someone who can actually understand the depths of his issues and sit with him in the eye of the storm rather than trying to just ‘fix’ him or drag him out of it.

Touch-starved and both slow to physical affection. Since they’re both introverted and Rin is emotionally constipated as fuck, they aren’t really a couple that would be very into PDA. Not even hand-holding. But it doesn’t really matter for them. They’re both not very used to that sort of physical comfort especially in the presence of others. However, while I think in general Rin might be a bit more reluctant to initiate intimacy than Hiori, I do think he’d still be more inclined to initiate hugs. Why Rin of all people? Because he grew up with a sibling. And he was a younger sibling at that. On some level he would have received attention from Sae while their relationship was still good, even if only a little bit. Hiori on the other hand grew up an only child in a household where hugs and doting were used as a tool to manipulate him. He’d likely not be used to the idea of hugs as a genuine show of affection. But Rin’s hugs are always genuine and often given out sparingly and bashfully, after a lot of hesitation. They’re both slow to physical affection but they’d find a way to navigate their wants and needs together, taking their time.

All-nighter horror dates. Be it playing co-op horror games or binging horror movies in the dark, I think they’d both prefer that as a date night over going out to a restaurant. It’s an activity they can both have fun with as a shared interest, just the two of them, alone at home with no need to even leave the house. They can let themselves get more passionate and competitive (and sadistic) while playing horror games too.

Yoga together. While we only have canonical confirmation that Rin both regularly does yoga and is good at it, I hc that Hiori would also be quite good at it due to his parents likely drilling him with intense schedules and being helicopter parents about his health. Yoga would likely fall into it somewhere as a cool-down and a good way to exercise on rainy days. While Hiori initially wouldn’t find yoga fun to do with Rin due to his negative associations with it, I feel like over time it could be a nice bonding activity for the two of them. It requires minimal talking of they’re doing their own things, and as long as Hiori isn’t messing up the moves I think Rin would tolerate the two of them existing in the same space. At the very least, Hiori wouldn’t try to one-up Rin with moves he can’t do and topple into Rin as a result (looking at you, Isagi…). They wouldn’t do couples yoga though, just their own thing in the same space.

Sharing food. In the Twitter QnAs, it states that Hiori’s favourite food is salt-grilled saury (saury shiyoyaki) “including the bitter bits”. His least favourite food is cotton candy because “it’s just sugar”. Therefore, I hc that he tends to enjoy bitter food while disliking sweet food. In contrast, we know that Rin quite likes sweet food because he used to eat ice cream with Sae on the way home from practice, plus in the Episode Rin extra chapter he goes to buy dessert at a special desserts cafe after eating ochazuke (a traditionally salty dish). Because of this difference in tastes, I like to hc Hiori giving any sweet food Blue Lock offers in their meals to Rin. Likewise, if the main meal Rin is given is ever burnt or charred too much for his liking, he gives the charred bits to Hiori since he knows Hiori will eat them so the food won’t be wasted.

Tea and coffee. As an addendum to the previous hc, I think Hiori would be a coffee drinker and Rin would be a tea drinker. This is because coffee tends to be more bitter, especially ones without sugar like espressos, so I can see Hiori preferring it to tea. There’s also the idea that ochazuke is made with tea, which is a bonus for Rin liking tea over coffee.

Cooking. Last food-related one I promise! While Hiori likely has a ton of technical knowledge about nutrition, dieting, calorie counting etc… due to his mother’s frenzied control of his diet growing up, I headcanon that he doesn’t actually have a clue how to cook. Once again, this is because of his parents being overprotective and worrying that he’d injure himself with a kitchen knife or on the stove. So he has zero clue where to start in the kitchen. On the flip-side, while Rin isn’t the best cook in the world I reckon he’d have somewhat an idea of how to cook the basics, plus he likely also has knowledge of dieting and nutrition for the sake of his own health. So while they’d both have things to learn in the kitchen, it would be Rin doing more of the actual cooking and Hiori deciding what meals to eat to optimise their health and training.

A joint-aura that’s a blizzard — in the event that they ever were to team up on the field, I think that the aura they’d give off together should be a blizzard. It makes sense to me for them to have this because Hiori has ice associations with the kanji 氷 in his surname, which means ‘ice’, and in chapter 239 when he gives his monologue about finding a reason to play, a metaphorical key appears with a snowflake on it to symbolise his newfound resolve. Rin’s connections to snow are less positive though, since it was snowing the day that Sae abandoned him. I think making their joint aura a blizzard could symbolise both Hiori’s ultra-sadist resolve to play, and Rin finally being able to move on from Sae to associate the snow with his sadistic determination. The fact that it’s a snowstorm emphasises the pair of them having a sadistic, destructive take-down of their opponents.

Hiori has a type. His canon type is already ‘someone who will leave me alone’ as I previously discussed in section 2. However, I do like to semi-jokingly say that his type is also ‘dark-haired, analytical guys with an attitude who are really good at football’. Obviously this is meant to refer mostly to Isagi and Karasu (we’ve all seen the heart-eyes you give them, Hiori!), but it is amusing to me that the description also fits Rin perfectly.

Part 6 — Transformative Works I Recommend For New Shippers

These are just some of my favourite fanfics all linked together in one place. I’ll start with a shameless plug of my own fic:

14 Days To NOT Fall In Love (but guess who did anyway)

Summary: This annoyingly mandated break of Ego's was only fourteen days long. That would never be enough time for Rin to fall for this aggravatingly sweet, understanding, level-headed, cyan-haired gamer boy... Okay, maybe he'd need to exercise SOME restraint. Aka: how Rin and Hiori become mutually pining idiots after the U-20 match through a combination of video games, late night discord calls and learning that perhaps they're not all that different after all.

(Chapters: 10 , Word Count: 67088 , Rating: T)

And now for my personal favourites I think new shippers will enjoy, in no particular order (if any of the authors see this and have tumblrs you want me to tag, lmk!):

catch us in the morning by transrightssokka (kellallyourfriends)

Summary: Hiori looks down and brings his hand up to his mouth, hiding a faint smile. “You don’t wanna go home, do you?” “No shit, I don’t,” Rin says. He’d rather sleep on the sidewalk than spend the next two weeks with Sae. Hiori is silent for a minute. His pretty eyes flick to his feet. Up to the back of the seat in front of them. Over to Rin. “So.” “So?” Rin says. Hiori lowers his voice. “So, what if we didn’t?”

(Chapters: 3 , Word Count: 27206 , Rated: M)

Even When It’s Starless by saturnshots

Summary: Everyone’s had an imaginary friend or two — it’s not often they change the course of your life, but who says being imaginary could stop them from bringing your dreams come true?

(Chapters: 1 , Word Count: 2838 , Rating: G)

sine wave by starstruckdove

Summary: Rin discovers Bachira’s “super secret surprise” sooner than he’d thought. There’s a new boy standing next to Ego at practice, and Rin knows he’s new because each of his unfortunate teammates have made their presence (loudly and raucously) known in his life. The boy has a nice face–wide eyes and soft mouth, all rounded corners instead of sharp edges. His hair is a shocking shade of blue and Rin finds it almost familiar. “This is your new manager,” Ego says with about as much energy as a dead battery.

(Chapters: 1 , Word Count: 8990 , Rated: T)

Daydreaming by em_hiorin

Summary: Hiori can’t seem to concentrate during practice, as a certain Itoshi has been plaguing his mind.

(Chapters: 1 , Word Count: 1560 , Rating: G)

My family thinks we’re dating. by akiangelsolos

Summary: “Oh, I see.” His mother hummed, placing her silver fork down on the table. “You must be upset, Hiori hasn’t come over in a while. You have to be lonely without your boyfriend around.” “I’m not lonely-” Rin shot his eyes at his mom, “What did you just say?”

(Chapters: 2 , Word Count: 5486 , Rating: G)

Part 7 — Wow, You Made It This Far? Congratulations And Thank You!

If you’ve made it this far, then I am both immensely thankful and I applaud you. Seriously, thank you for putting up with my insane, delusional brainrot over this silly rarepair that has barely any canon backing to speak of. Hopefully if anything, you now understand why people are starting to take interest in the ship (or at least why I enjoy it). And if you’re a shipper now, welcome to the club! You will now have to watch Hiori and Rin never affect each other’s development, never interact in any meaningful capacity and you’ll be eternally bitter about it 👍. For any aspiring fic writers, I hope this can be a nice hub of info for all of you if you want to consult the hiorin ‘dynamic’ (i say in quotations because let’s face it, I made up like 95% of the dynamic based on analysis and a canon dynamic doesn’t actually exist). Also, bear in mind that in the off chance we do get some more moments, I plan to update this post. So you may end up being subject to even more brainrot in the future.

Until that day comes though, I can only thank you once again. Hiorin is my otp and no matter how much Kaneshiro doesn’t make it come to fruition, he will have to try incredibly hard to make me stop shipping them. The dynamic can change. They can become more and more ‘incompatible’. I don’t care. If hiorin has no shippers, I have passed on from this world.

#blue lock #bllk #hiorin #hiori yo #itoshi rin #blue lock hiori #blue lock rin #FINALLY this post is finished!!! #I’ve been working on it for weeks #it’s mostly for myself ngl #just a nice place to compile all my screaming into one clump #might as well share it with the world yk? #I hope it makes even a modicum of sense to any unsuspecting readers who don’t ship it #rinhio #rnho

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart  || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin || Chapter 20A: I Don't Need Nothing When I'm By Your Side ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 20B: I'm Walkin' Down This Rocky Road

But now I'm on my feet again Better things are bound to happen All my dues surely must be paid Many miles and many tears Times were hard, but now they're changing You should know that I'm not afraid…

 -- “Ready For Love,” Bad Company (1974) [click here to listen]

North Carolina || February 1989

“Please excuse all the boxes. Turns out it’s taken us a bit longer to figure out where everything goes.”

Raymond shook his head. “Please don’t apologize on my account, Jamie. You’re finally merging your lives in a physical way – no doubt it will take some time.”

Claire smiled briefly at her husband as she hung up Raymond’s thick winter coat in the closet by the cabin’s front door. “I know it’s crazy that we’re spending so much time unpacking when we’ll be on the road for the rest of the year.”

“It’s not crazy, Claire. You’re building your home. You want a home to come back to. Isn’t that why both of you sacrifice so much?”

Jamie snorted. “And here I thought we did it all for the art.”

Claire closed the coat closet. “Can I get you anything, Raymond? We’ve got everything you can imagine that’s non-alcoholic.”

Jamie sank onto the new couch in the living room, and Raymond quietly sat beside him. “Coffee or tea, please, whatever is easier. Thank you, Claire.”

“Of course.” She padded away to the kitchen, and Raymond took stock of his surroundings. The exposed beams. The roaring fire. The furniture – rustic, tasteful, well made. Jamie’s guitar leaning against one wall, next to a stack of Claire’s medical journals.

“We really appreciate you being here, and spending this time with us.” Jamie absently fiddled with a loose string at the bottom of his sweater. “As much as we can shut out the world when we’re here, obviously we’re thinking about the tour. A lot.”

“I’m grateful for the invitation. It’s nice to see you in person, after several months of our weekly phone calls. And it’s wonderful to see this place that you and Claire have spoken so much about. It’s a beautiful home.”

Jamie smiled. “It was a house. Claire and I…we’ve made it a home. One we hope to raise a family in.”

“You’re still planning to try to conceive this year?”

Jamie nodded. “Absolutely. Once we get to Europe. We don’t want to wait any longer.”

“You’ll be in Europe for what, four months? That’s a long time for her to go without a doctor, in the event she gets pregnant. Have you spoken with Colum about additional medical support on the tour?”

“No. Not yet. But I should.” Jamie swallowed. “Last tour, we survived with a mix of Claire and her medical bag, and my guitar tech Arch, who was a Marine corpsman in Vietnam. Just the usual stuff – cuts and bruises. Claire popped a roadie’s dislocated shoulder back into place, in Omaha or Topeka, I forget where.” He sighed. “I’m a little bit better than I used to be at being open about what’s on my mind, and asking for what I want. But…I don’t know. This feels so…private. Sharing our dream with more people than we already have.”

Raymond nodded. “It is. And don’t think that I don’t know what it takes for you to be so open with me about this, Jamie. I’ll be your advocate for whatever you need, when we’re on the road. But if you decide you’re serious about a baby, these are the kinds of things you’ll need to get more comfortable talking about with many more people.”

“We’re very serious.” Claire reappeared from the kitchen, holding a tray with three steaming mugs of coffee. “Though I’ve told him that we need to let Colum know what we’re thinking. Because depending on when and if it happens, and if Jamie really does want to pause the tour to be with me…that’s a logistical nightmare for Colum and the label and the crew and just about everyone else.”

Jamie and Raymond took their mugs, and Claire took hers, perching on the easy chair next to the sofa.

Jamie bit his lip. “I hate we need to be so…clinical about it. This is a beautiful thing – it shouldn’t be this way.”

“Jamie.” Claire turned to face her husband. “I love you. I want to have your children. I want to be with you. But I know there is a part of you that will never belong to me – it belongs to your music, and your fans, and your record label, and all the people who depend on you. You can’t just walk away from all of that. You can’t just screw them over and hope they’ll wait on you.” She paused, thinking. “You did that once before, when you came to The Ridge. And you were so, so lucky that the stars aligned for you to come back the way you did. But Jamie, nobody knows if you’ll get a chance like that again.”

“So, what, Claire? Do we need to plan it down to the minute, when we’ll make the baby? Put a schedule around it?”

Hurt, Claire closed her eyes.

“All Claire is saying, is that you need to be open-minded, Jamie.” Raymond’s voice was low, soothing. “What you’re trying to do is so incredibly beautiful, I agree. And nothing should take away from that beauty. But you need to balance that, with all the demands of your profession.”

Jamie’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the coffee cup. Chest starting to heave.

“So fucking many demands,” he seethed. “To write new songs, even when I’m singing the old ones. To smile through interview after interview after stupid interview and the same fucking questions about rehab. I love the fans, I really do, but some of them are fucking weird and even a little scary. And then…” he swallowed. “And then there’s all the hotel rooms, and all the sleepless nights, and all the tasteless food, and…”

Claire’s eyes flashed open – and met Raymond’s concerned gaze.

“…and all I want is to be in bed with my wife and shut the whole damn world out and play my guitar on my back porch and leave all that bullshit behind and…”

“Jamie?” Raymond interrupted.

“It’s happening,” Claire whispered.

Jamie continued almost robotically, eyes wide.

“…and I don’t want to even be near any fucking whiskey or coke or marijuana or whatever the fuck the roadies are doing behind the amplifiers, with whoever the fuck girls they picked up at some strip club, and…”

“Jamie.” Raymond gently took away his coffee cup, and rested his hands on Jamie’s arm. “Breathe deep with me. Right now. Let’s control this.”

Startled, Jamie looked up at Raymond. Blinked. Took a deep breath.

“Good, Jamie. Again, please. In through your nose.”

He took another deep breath. Exhaled.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

“Another breath. Focus on me. Be still.” Raymond lifted his hands from Jamie’s arms and edged back a bit, giving him space.

They repeated the cycle of deep breaths for about five minutes – Raymond kneeling before Jamie, Claire standing behind him. Watching Jamie visibly calm.

He took a deep breath, and sighed. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Claire’s voice was tight over Raymond’s shoulder. “You caught yourself.”

Jamie took another deep breath. Smiled sadly. “At just the right moment. Thank you, Raymond. That…that hasn’t happened once in the time we’ve been here. Since the tour ended.”

Raymond sat back on the couch, still warily eyeing Jamie. “That’s to be expected. You’ve completely removed all the triggers from your life.”

Jamie scrubbed his face with his hands, still breathing deep, calming, centering breaths. “Life here is so good. And I like being on the road, I really do. But the environment…”

“But that’s why Raymond will be with us.” Claire stepped by Raymond and settled onto the couch next to Jamie, pressing her legs against his. “He’s helped us so much already. Look how you were able to calm down. So much better than all the times that happened during the last tour.”

Jamie lifted his head and just looked at his wife. Reached for her hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed it. “I want to protect you from everything, Claire.”

“I can protect myself, you know.”

“That’s an admirable feeling, Jamie, but you’ll burn yourself out emotionally.” Raymond lifted his cooled mug of coffee. “And then you won’t be a help to anyone.”

Jamie kissed Claire’s knuckles. Eyes locked on hers.

Raymond watched curiously as something flashed between Jamie and Claire.

Claire turned to face Raymond. Face a bit flushed.

“Will you excuse us for…”

Raymond immediately set down his mug. “Of course. I can go back to town – ”

“No need. You just got here! Stay, please – you can explore the land and the barn. We…we just need some time.” She stood, and Jamie gripped her hand.

“I’ll keep myself busy,” Raymond smiled.

Claire flushed. “I’m a terrible hostess.”

“You never need to apologize. Nurture your connection, both of you. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Already he was walking toward the coat closet. Heard their footsteps echo down the hallway, then the bedroom door slam. Then, very faintly, Jamie’s laugh.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire #little bit better than i used to be

[toburnup]

Is there a way you personally think people should support your fics?

Whenever I write I’ve always been a ‘I’m grateful someone read it even if they didn’t enjoy it’ type of person but recently I’ve seen a lot (like seriously a lot) of people saying, if you don’t comment on fics (on ao3) you aren’t supporting them or the creator. I know I don’t feel that way about what I write because I’m not really a good writer and I’m just happy if one person likes it because that means someone took time out of their day to read but now I think maybe I’m an asshole for not like commenting on everyone’s fics?

You’re like the best writer of fics imo so I’m wondering how you feel about all of it? And I’m sorry that I haven’t left any comments on your work if that’s truly the correct way to support!

well. this has been a topic of conversation for a long time, and everyone will have a different take on this, but here's mine.

the downside to reading without commenting is that hits on their own.... don't really mean anything. hits just mean someone opened it, it doesn't even mean that they read it. i've opened lots of fics, started reading, found out it wasn't for me and closed it. it still registers my hit. kudos means they technically scrolled to the end of the page and clicked a button. they're nice, but i consider kudos w/o a comment to be the equivalent of "i didn't hate it" (i'm sure many would disagree, but this is my take!)

so, yes, i'm a firm believer in leaving comments. i will always comment on a fic when i read it, because if i had 5-10 minutes to read a fic, i have 30 seconds to write a quick comment. if i had an hour to read a fic, i have 5 minutes to write a longer comment. but i have the same mentality for eating out - i only go out to eat when i have the $ to leave a tip.

obviously, there are some fics where i end up leaving much longer comments, but i build that into my reading time (so if i'm about to read a friends fic where i know i'm gonna Ramble, i hold off until i have adequate time). does that mean i sometimes don't get to fics right away? yes. but for my own sake, i'd rather read it and write a comment while it's fresh.

i don't think you're an asshole lol, but i think you're kind of devaluing comments. and devaluing your effort as a writer! you're putting hours of free work into something they enjoyed, i don't think it's too much for you to ask for people who engage w/ your work to leave a comment.

the biggest pushback i see from people who don't comment is that it takes a long time, or that they don't know what to say. and to that, i say: i have people who simply leave a 💕 in a comment and that's enough. it still tells me way more than a lone kudos. and the people who put the time into leaving longer comments are just my heroes. the backbone of fandom, imo (my repeat essay commenters are like.... truly amazing, amazing people).

confession, i used to be a kudos-no-comment reader. i still remember the first comment i left as an adult (this was a few years ago) - it was on a WIP that hadn't been updated in ? a couple months, and i was like. i NEED to tell this person how much i loved this. and i felt stupid as hell writing the comment, but i powered through out of sheer stubbornness. and the author replied, and they said something like "i've been struggling writing the next chapter, and this helped!" and then they fucking updated the fic like 2 days later 😭😭 it changed me, i swear. so, with that...

comments are especially important for ongoing fics, because people will only leave a kudos once. that ratio of hits:kudos:comments can mess with the author (like 1000 hits, 100 kudos, and 10 comments is significant!). that's why i'm (now) a big believer in reading WIPs and supporting them along the way, it's disheartening to see the hits go up and nothing else.

i'm very grateful for the amount of comments i get! i think i'm really lucky in this way. occasionally i'll get a comment from someone who tells me they've never commented on any fic before, and like!! yay! the first one is toughest, but it only gets easier after that.

another important aspect of comments is it builds relationship between the reader and writer. i love seeing familiar usernames and icons, and i notice when people haven't commented in a while and it always makes me happy when they pop up again. i also really like replying to comments. it takes... multiple hours but it's my favourite part of the process second to writing the fic itself. i also occasionally will poke around on someone's profile and if they've written a fic, i'll give it a read. it's a good way to make new friends.

anyway. i'm not saying all this to tell you to comment on my fics, but more to gently encourage you to reframe how you think about comments in general. it's like... why we clap at the end of concerts. just because we're in the room doesn't mean we enjoyed the show, so we do things like cheer! clap! scream! we make our opinion heard.

comments are like clapping 💙 it's free to do, and shows our appreciation. why wouldn't we do that?

#long post #on fanfiction #vio answers #thank you for asking! #ao3 #comments are like reblogging on tumblr #(altho rb'ing is easier) #it's simple and free!! just do it

[hpowellsmith]

March 10 Honor Bound fixes and edits

Changelog for March 10:

When first meeting up with people in Chapter 5 while not officially romancing anyone, the person who likes you the most out of Matia, Raffi, or Savarel will come to talk as intended rather than defaulting to Matia

Character guide on the stat page no longer bizarrely leads straight back into the main stat page

Various corrections to stat check tests

Added another option to be pro-Denario with Mandriotti

Added an option to ask Raffi not to tell their friends about your love life

Signposted one of the consequences of the town hall meeting more clearly

Various minor typo fixes, tweaks, and corrected dialogue/description transitions

Thanks so much to everyone for your reports and feedback, it’s been incredibly useful! I read through everything and where I don’t make immediate changes, I keep an eye on what’s been mentioned to look at during later edits.

I've had reports about the end of Chapter 4 ending the game rather than going onto Chapter 5 as it should on the itch version, but I'm having trouble replicating it. If that happens to you, please can you clear your cache, then try again and let me know if it still happens - that'll be helpful for me figuring out what's going on.

On a non-bug-related note, just to let you know that you don’t have to start romances or flirt openly with characters as soon as the options come up in order for romances to work! I had a couple of comments saying they wanted to get to know characters better before starting a romance, which is totally safe to choose - you won’t break the romance by moving more slowly. To give a sense of the scale, I’ve recently been writing scenes all the way in Chapter 9 in which you can start a romance completely fresh with an NPC having not flirted at all before then - so if you want to be friends with characters for longer in the early-to-mid game, slow-play it, or simply play the field casually for some time, you can.

To start a polyamorous triad romance, you’ll want to do or say something to make sure both people involved have a sense that you’re interested in them, but even that can be started later than Chapter 5.

Basically, pacing is flexible and you can do what feels right for your PC. It varies across different characters, but overall you can experience a wide range - whether that’s sleeping with some people early on, flirting straightaway (in various ways - very overtly or more subtly), harbouring a long-standing crush and not saying anything for a long time, having an early crush that fades away over time, having a one-night-stand that turns to friendship, having a friends-with-benefits relationship that does or doesn’t become more romantic, becoming friends and being surprised by your own romantic feelings after a long time…

And/or have solid workplace bonds, become trusted friends, build a support network or a sense of community, develop a queerplatonic bond, give support and ask for it when it’s needed, or be a lone wolf and not get particularly close with anyone, focusing on the job and your other ambitions…

Lots of different options depending on what you want to go for!

A readable preview of Chapter 6 is currently up for £6+ subscribers on Patreon, and the full playable version will be up there on April 2!

Read more about Honor Bound on the Choice of Games forum thread

Play the Honor Bound demo on dashingdon and itch

Give feedback

Wishlist on Steam

#honor bound #honor bound bug reports #honor bound minor update

[mylittleredgirl]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @geneeste. :) i may have done this one before, but tumblr blog search was traditionally unhelpful and i have several very important things i should be doing, so here we are <3

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 219

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 655,471

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stargate atlantis is the runaway lead, then sg-1, 90s/00s treks, the x-files, and a grab bag of other things. only two fics so far for m*a*s*h but the forecast looks good!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

no sooner met (star trek voyager, j/c, eight years of friends-to-lovers in 5k or less)

career day (stargate sg-1, clone!sam/jack, damn that sure was a choice to go back to high school amirite)

next chapter (the good place, chidi/eleanor, the intimacy of reading)

first date (star trek voyager, j/c, falling in love again)

occupational hazards (the good place, chidi/eleanor, eleanor would rather not be the architect)

5. Do you respond to comments?

eventually!!!! i tend to keep nice ones on my home page for a while to cheer me up and then sometimes they get buried. i wake up nights like "damn the good place fandom really went all out with amazing comments on that random fic in like 2018 and i never replied," so maybe i need to go through my inbox and belatedly clear my cosmic debts.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

twilight (stargate atlantis, sheppard/weir, what if john didn't break the cycle). strong on style but real weak on comfort.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

weaving loose ends (stargate sg-1, sam/jack) ends with a wedding! in twenty years of writing romance fic, that has maybe only happened once?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not yet! but the year is young.

a fic of mine did cause a dramatic fandom schism once, in the dancing with the stars fandom no less. a splinter fan group created in exile! a mod claiming to be personal friends with the stars! everybody storming out and then blocking each other! so my fic did cause hate, but somehow i personally escaped unscathed. i didn't even get blocked. (lesson: in some spaces, rpf is encouraged until They Fuck. second lesson: if you start a fire and then stay very quiet, everyone forgets about you.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do!! i guess!! but i'm struggling with it right now and it's giving me a complex. and "what kind" is like......... vanilla het fic for the most part tbh. gauzy curtain vibes, even. basically, i have to really sit and think about whether to rate something M or E, you know?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

yes, but not since the x-files days. rip geocities webrings we salute you for your years of service.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but i think i'd like to! passing chapters back and forth sleepover style like "haha write your way out of THIS" would be fun. (or collaborating in a more mundane way, i guess....)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

john sheppard/elizabeth weir (stargate atlantis). first fic in the tag and i'm still fuckin there. three years on tv and a lifetime in my goddamn brain.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

realistically, i'm feeling pretty down on the chances that i'll ever finish ANY wip that's longer than 20k, but the two long ones withering on the vine that i'd like to finish are a sam/jack sg1 episodic soulmate fic and "what if janeway went undercover with the maquis instead of tuvok: the novel."

16. What are your writing strengths?

stealing one of geneeste's answers because "character complexity" is a good one! i don't feel satisfied with any fic unless i feel like i have learned something new about a character, or highlighted it in a new way.

my more specific strength, according to @coraclavia, is missing-scene fics that weave through an entire series canon to make a thesis statement (they are In Love).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

😭 i can't write anything long 😭 i really wish i were different 😭 i envy those of you with staying power who can return to a story after going to work or writing something else and keep plugging away at it. i used to write sprawling things when i was a teen, but since becoming Adult With Job now many years ago, i've totally lost that skill!!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

haaaahahahaha. talk about a weakness. i literally couldn't bring myself to write a fic that required dialogue in Ancient from stargate, a language that -- i cannot stress this enough -- is not even real. i'm like "well maybe i'll study latin for three years and then analyze all the episodes where they speak it to reverse engineer the differences so i can write the bastardized space latin correctly" GIRL WHY. JUST FUCK IT UP.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

first completed story that i recall would have been star trek voyager in my early teens, and by the grace of rural internet and some kind of prescient sense of self-preservation, it does not live online. first internet-published fic was several years later, for the x-files. for better or worse, that one can still be found.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

i think pieces (stargate atlantis, sheppard/weir, catharsis through sex pollen) might be the new best, and i had a lot of fun writing erasers on pencils (stargate sg-1, clone!sam/jack, catharsis through truancy).

--

i am sure many of my fic-writer-meme friends have done this already but @ussjellyfish if your answers have changed since whenever you did it last; i'd love to hear how @havocthecat, @anretc, and @coraclavia would answer this; and blowing dandelion meme seeds over the fence to the mash fandom: @remyfire!

#when i say i write short one-shots i just did some napkin math #and my average word count is below 3k and several of my longest 'fics' are collections #NOT BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS #fic asks #mai fic #i think i might find this under one of those tags the next time someone tags me so i will know for sure i've done it...

[alteon77]

Updated Masterlist of Writing and Art

About the writer/artist: I like to write and paint. My current obsession is Sandman, but I enjoy most fantasy fandoms as well as anime (I think I’m on season seven billion of One Piece right now 🤣). I'm also weird as they come (and awkward, too), so just please ignore my oddball (coughTERRIBLEcough) sense of humor.

On a more personal note, I have PTSD and suffer from severe manic depressive episodes. Writing and art are my most familiar coping mechanisms, and I need them like I need oxygen. Seriously, there were times in my life that knowing I had to finish a story or a piece of art was the only thing stopping me from ending up dead. So, I don't take part in fandom drama. Having my peace and protecting my mental health are very big deals to me, and I won't risk those for anything if I can help it.

As for my writing, it ranges from short one-shots to ridiculously long novel series. I use third person POV (on longer series) as well as second person (on shorter things). I also try to always exclude physical descriptions when writing main character OCs and assign them nicknames to avoid using Y/N. I love to read Y/N fics, but writing them makes me feel like I'm at work. And who actually wants to ever feel like they're at work when they're engaging in a hobby? Definitely not me.

Lastly, there's usually more stuff on my AO3 page than I have listed here, because I forget to post it pretty often. Oops. I'll get around to moving it all over one day. Probably. Maybe.

Feel free to leave an ask if you want or just drop by my DMs. <3

Artwork links are at the bottom of this list, so if you're here for those, that's where they are.

Sandman 'Verse

All the Precious and Fragile Things (so easily do they break)

After banishing his lover from the Dreaming for her betrayal, Morpheus learns that she is pregnant with his child.

And that she’s been captured by a revenge-seeking Alexander Burgess.

What the both of them are unaware of is that this will set in motion a cascade of unfavorable events, causing a chain reaction that threatens the whole of existence itself.

PART I: All of This Past

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

PART II: These Tender, Loving Mercies

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

PART III: When It All Falls Down

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

PART IV: The Dark of War

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Epilogue

Sometimes He's Sweet

Morpheus hates the holidays.

As excited as she seems to experience the mortal holiday, he's… less so. Much less so. With the entire collective unconscious contained within him, this time of year can be wholly overwhelming, a miasma of too much red and green, too much worry, too much loneliness, too much excitement, too many similarly themed dreams, too many similarly themed nightmares, and far far too many holiday songs. It all bleeds out from the collective unconscious into his own mind, sticks there like weeping sap to a tree until he feels half-mad with the unrelenting presence of it, with his inability to get free from its cloying trespass upon his very being.

This is just a little sweet fluff for the holiday season. It takes place between chapters 19 and 20 of "All the Precious and Fragile Things". No spoilers here if you've read that far!

The Dog Debacle (or how best to sneak a dragon into the dreaming)

Morpheus' daughter gets a new dog.

Well..... kind of.

That Familiar Feeling of Family (or how Hob Gadling ended up as an uncle to his stranger's oftentimes feral children)

It's a pretty universally known thing that families are just strange. As Hob is quickly figuring out, however, this little fact is magnified by AT LEAST a billion when the family in question is Endless.

(A lighthearted story in which Hob Gadling finds out his stranger has married, makes friends with a homicidal maniac/ruler, and manages to become an exemplary uncle to a pack of magically mischievous children. Really, now all he has to do is convince everyone to stop calling his and Dream's weekly meetups "playdates", and then his life would be practically perfect.)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The Maker, the Muse, and the Sundered Song

In his temple, what remains of Orpheus waits in trepidation. Something is changing. Something that he knows might alter the very fabric of the world as he understands it.

Finally freed from captivity, Calliope struggles to make any meaningful changes to the laws that saw her bound and taken in the first place. When the strange woman appears on Mount Parnassus and offers help, Calliope knows she would be a fool not to accept it. Even if she thinks that she's being lied to.

Meanwhile in the peace of the Dreaming, Morpheus grapples with guilt over his son's fate. As he basks in the love of his new children, he can't help but to regret his own failings where Orpheus is concerned.

And as for May, she's really just got a job to do. And her own traumatic issues to deal with. And if it's all hella awkward because she's having to work alongside her husband's ex-wife, she'll see it done anyway. There's even the small possibility that she might eventually admit to Calliope the truth about her identity. That is if she can ever actually work up the courage to say it aloud.

Chapter 1

Nothing in This Closet but Boots and a Boy

Morpheus is wildly protective of his daughter.

That's probably bad for the boy in said daughter's closet.

AU's and Other Stuff in the Sandman 'Verse

Of Exes, Hellhounds, and Waffle Fries

Morpheus shows up to rescue the woman he probably loves (though he won't admit it) from hellhounds and ends up getting roped into helping with her family. This is one of those extras that doesn't fit into the main story, but it's fun, so I'm posting it.

The Bizarre Breeding Habits of Anthropomorphic Personifications

It's a tale as old as time.

Two idiots fall in love. Two idiots fall out of love.

Neither one of them is expecting a baby to come along and derail their unhappily ever after.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Original Fanart

I like to play around with different styles and to try new things with my artwork. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I'm still learning, and I am so far from being a professional that it's laughable. But I only post things that I think look decent or that I think others might enjoy.

The Lover's Argument (Morpheus x oc)

Oneiros (Morpheus in Grecian garb)

Because I could not stop for Death, she kindly stopped for me... (Regency era Dream and Death)

#sandman fic #morpheus x oc #morpheus #morpheus x reader #morpheus fanfiction #sandman fanfiction #sandman oc #dream of the endless #dad!morpheus #dragons in the dreaming #preciousfragilethings #PFT #bbhap #fanart #fan art #alteon77 fan art

[nehezt]

What are the intervals when you release episodes, I can't wait!

Usually a chapter takes a month/a month and a half to make.

However these are estimates for the chapters in act 1, that had 32 pages maximum. From now on, in act 2, the chapters will get longer, with the next one (chapter 9) totaling 39 pages. Chapter 11 is 41 pages long. Will I still be able to make it in the same amount of time? I don't know. Hopefully! But I don't know.

If I can make it on the same amount of time, it should be out in the end of January or beggining of February. I frequently take a lot longer than I think I will though, maybe I get caught up on a particular environment (even the small ones that readers don't pay attention to take me hours) or maybe the character lighting takes longer. Chapter 8 was only 24 or so pages but the medical research and the specific aspects of the surgery took at least a week to settle, on top of the several hours I spent trying (and failing, I imagine) to draw the surgery scene correctly, on top of me having to completely re-do the paneling from scratch because of a decision I made in regards to where Tai Lung's character was going.

Anyways, sorry for this long answer to what is a very simple question, but the actual answer is: I don't know! I want to do it in a month, but I very frequently run into things that turn out to be complicated. Art's hard!

Overall, my biggest goals are to: 1) Be happy with the work I put out. I want a comic that will still be readable 5 or maybe 10 years from now. I want to look back and know I did the best I could with the abilities I have today and 2) Not allow myself to be burnt out. Getting burned out is quite literally the worst case scenario here, as I would associate this comic with negative feelings, which I don't want to do for obvious reasons.

I hope it doesn't feel like I'm scolding you! It's fine to ask, but I guess all this has been swirling in my brain lately. I won't rush updates and I won't stress myself too much about setting specific dates to release chapters. All I can give are estimates, in this case, if it all goes to plan: late January, early February. But don't trust this too much!

#again. sorry for the long answer #like i said this has been swirling in my brain and i guess i wanted the chance to talk about it #and all these estimates are ASSUMING i'm not busy which somedays i'm obviously going to be #at the end of the day i want to be healthy first and foremost and it unfortunately means art gets delayed #sorry :/ #this has had a positive impact in the comic though because it gave me time to revisit future chapters and correct/rewrite them #if i had been on my original 2 week schedule the comic would be near complete by now but it would've been an inferior version

[bookinit02]

s5 script info/faq

hi guys! in exactly a week, i'm going to start posting my original stranger things s5 script. here's a general info/faq post for easy reference :)

about the script:

what: this script is designed to be a culmination of my ongoing rewrite series, which is a fanfic version of each season of stranger things, written through the lens of alternating byler pov. since season 5 hasn't released yet, and we've still got a ways to go, i decided to write an original script to base my last installment off of. the script will be 10 episodes, at about 60 pages each, and serve as a companion to my season 5 fic.

where: script episodes will be posted here on my tumblr, and be linked to a pinned post (which will go up in a few minutes). fic chapters will be posted on my ao3, as usual.

when: currently, i'm planning to have at least one post a week: the script episode will release on a sunday, and then the two accompanying chapters on the next two fridays. so, for example, the first few releases will look like this: script 1 on sunday 9/3, chapter 1 on friday 9/8, and chapter 2 on friday 9/15. this gives you about a week to read each new post! of course, you can read however you'd like: script first, or fic first, depending on your preference. i decided to post the scripts first to try and mimic the rest of the rewrite experience: "watching" the show, then reading the fic. if there's any schedule delays due to typical life stuff, i'll let you guys know!

frequently asked questions:

will the script cover every plotline?: yep! with 60 pages per episode, there's a bit of time dedicated to every character, as much as i can feasibly manage. of course, this means that the script will be less byler-focused than the fic series has been (but still more than the original show, lol). but not to worry—the fic companion will add extra scenes and plenty of byler content. this also means that some of the plots will only be accessible through the script, as the fic is entirely from byler pov. but it's still up to you whether you would like to read or not!

will there be any character deaths?: i'm going to answer this right now: there will be no character deaths. i want the script to be realistic, but it's also my version, and i always try to give my characters happy endings :) this doesn't mean that there won't be some close calls, though. we'll have to see. :)

will there be a playlist?: yes! i've spent some time testing out playlists for the first two episodes, and they're both fully completed. they'll be linked along with the script, along with a timing guide for anyone (like me) who likes being insane about the details. playlists are always tricky because everyone reads at different speeds, so i've written out which scenes go with each song, and you can skip along as needed. if you prefer not to listen with music, of course you don't have to—though i will say that most songs are just soundtrack instrumentals to set the mood :) it might be a little finicky, so i'm sorry in advance! i'll always try to perfect them as much as possible before posting.

will you do another rewrite after s5 releases?: currently, i'm planning on it. of course, we have no idea how much longer it's going to take, or what exactly will happen in canon (or in life), but if i'm in a place to write fic, then yes! i'll do a typical rewrite and add it to the end of my series, so you guys can have your choice of endings :)

how do we leave comments?: if you want to leave a comment on the script, i'm happy to receive them in asks, messages, or post comments! you can also leave them on the fic chapters if you'd like. edit 9/1: you should be able to leave comments in the google doc! be mindful of what account you are using, as these comments will be public. for a more comprehensive comment policy, click here.

do i have to read the rest of the rewrite series first?: reading the rest of the rewrite isn't necessary, but it is a good idea. i know it's a lot to read, so don't feel pressured, just know that some things might not make as much sense without the prior context! my rewrite series is pretty canon-compliant, but a lot of relationship dynamics are developed in a very specific way, and we pick up right where we left off at the end of a new place to be from. so, essentially: no, but you'll probably want to.

do i have to read the script?: definitely not. if you prefer to just read the fic, you absolutely can! it'll make sense on its own, you might just miss out on some of the extra plotlines and context.

that's about all i can think of for now—if you have any questions that weren't answered in this post, please send me an ask and i'll edit this post to include your question! i've been working on this project for a few months now, and i'm really excited to share it with you guys :) thank you all for giving it a shot! see you next sunday <3

#rewrite #s5 script #the end is here #< that is the new tag btw #pinned post coming in a sec :)

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 3

Summary:  Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 15.3k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Jumping on my spot because this chapter just fully starts it all and I cannot wait to hear what you think about it!!!  I don't even know what to say anymore, I'm just to eager for you all to read this one lol. Enjoy!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It had been two months since their goodbye. June had been filled with work, mostly for commercials with a fourth of July theme. There were so many brands they’d worked with, that Ella had lost count of how many meetings she had attended in the last three weeks of the month.

True to his word, a week after their last talk, she got an email from their management asking for her name and address to be added to the PR list. Suck it and see had been out for a week already and she had bought it digitally, but her stomach fluttered as she typed in her information.

She just couldn’t wait for when the next video was going to be recorded.

July seemed to go the slowest it could’ve ever gone. And by the time August came, she still had no news about the band’s music video. The end of the first week of August was approaching, she was half tempted to go up to either Ben or Aaron and ask about it, but she was afraid of how that would make her look like.

Little did Ella know, she didn’t have to wait any longer, since the following Monday she got a list that read Arctic Monkeys - Black Treacle, Evil Twin, Suck it and See with dates on the top of the page that said August 14th - 16th 2011.

She hid her slight freakout very deep inside herself and left it for when she finished getting the details on the list ready. Four days later, when she handed the list back to her bosses, she allowed herself to get showered in nerves.

Ella knew by then that they were going to see them at a festival they were playing at in San Francisco, and she was beyond excited for it but her stomach was turning just from thinking she would be seeing Alex again after two months. Sixty days since they last spoke and she realized far too late she had no way to even contact him during the wait for the next music video.

Well, not that she would’ve been brave enough to ask for his phone number and maybe he would’ve laughed at her if she had asked for his email, but she was wondering what it would’ve been like if somehow they could have a way to keep chatting despite the distance.

And as if someone had been stealing the sand from the hourglass, before she even had time to properly prepare herself for the encounter, it was August 14th and the production crew was parking their bus at the festival grounds. It was around three in the afternoon, they had made a stop for lunch that made them arrive an hour later than anticipated but they weren’t late enough to have missed the band’s set.

After a while of walking and trying to make their ways through the artists backstage, the group of fifteen people sporting ‘Outside Lands’ wristbands managed to make it to the spot the brits were standing at.

And Ella almost didn’t recognize him.

Alex had a fresh new haircut, a quiff that just screamed greaser, and she fully had to force her jaw back up after seeing him. He had his leather jacket on, despite it not being cold, gold framed dark sunglasses that fit him perfectly, jeans and a black shirt on. A cigarette behind his ear that had an effect on her she couldn’t quite describe, but she was sure her legs went a little weak when she saw it there.

Holy fuck.

It was around a drinks tent that they were standing by, all of them with plastic cups in their hands and laughing around. She smiled as they got closer, missing being around their banter.

Nick was the first to notice them approaching, turning around with a giant smile and waving at them. The rest of them turned to where the bassist was looking at and when they saw the crew they matched Nick’s grin and gesture.

The directors were the first to approach them and shake hands. Ella followed closely behind, way too excited to greet them again to hide anymore. She hugged them tight, saying a small but high pitched “Hi” to each of them, Matt swaying her from side to side while embracing her.

Alex grinned brightly at her, feeling warmth from her presence. She didn’t waste any time in pulling him in for a hug, her hold so tight on him that he started feeling dizzy from the way it was making him feel inside.

“Hi Ellie.” His arms were around her waist, giving her a squeeze before she let go.

She was grinning from ear to ear, “Hi Al.” Ella knew her greeting had been effusive but she couldn’t care less what any of the crew members had to say, not when Alex was looking at her like that.

They were both slowly letting go off each other when Aaron spoke up, “Thank you so much for having us at the show today.”

Ella took a step back, standing beside Ben. She made it seem like she was adjusting the camera strap on her shoulder, but she was hiding her blushed cheeks behind her hair.

Matt waved it off like it was no big deal, “It’s great having you all here. Hope you didn’t get lost trying to make it here.”

Ben chuckled, “It was a whole quest but we made it.”

Matt turned around then, getting some cups and pouring what seemed to be tequila in four of them and turned around with one on each hand, “Well, you’re all about three shots behind so better catch up.”

Aaron grabbed one of the shots Matt was offering, “Well, let’s get to it then!” The director turned to all the crew, nodding with his head towards the drink table so they could all get tequila shots.

Matt was quick to pour everyone their shots and when they all had them in hand they took them at the same time, he hadn’t been kidding about catching them up because he walked down the line of people filling their cups again so they could go back for a second one.

Alex took the opportunity to check Ella out more intently. She looked amazing under the sun, her tan long legs were out, she was wearing a pair of jean shorts held up by a black double buckle belt, a black bodysuit that showed every curve on her body perfectly and on her feet were a pair of black gator skin cowboy boots with silver detailing. She looked very western, and he loved it. From his spot he could see some tattoos littering her body like the red ink writing she had on her left thigh that was making him have thoughts he couldn’t say out loud.

She wiped the drops of tequila that were falling from her chin to her neck, “Fuck.” she mumbled, “Do we really gotta do a third one?” She was already feeling the warmth from the alcohol inside her buzzing all the way to the tips of her fingers.

Matt smirked, “Yes Ellie!” He poured her a third shot, filling her cup a bit more than the last time.

She narrowed her eyes at him and Alex chuckled at her expression. Matt proceeded to pour more tequila around and when the last person was served, he shouted, “Cheers everyone!”

The burn wasn’t as bad for her anymore, but she felt like if she didn't have a chaser any time soon, she would be throwing her lunch up. Alex saw her struggling after she gulped it down, turning to the table and handing her a lime wedge.

“Ugh, thanks.” She said in a pained voice, sticking the fruit in her mouth quickly after.

The sourness relaxed her and once she felt like it was enough, Ella took it off her mouth and threw it and the cup to the trash. “Matthew, I hate you.”

Everyone laughed, some of her coworkers had reached out for lime as well and she didn’t feel as bad anymore. She was now feeling more buzzed by the second. Oh, I’m already regretting this, she said in her head.

Alex then turned to their crew and said, “We’re going on in about an hour or so, you all can go around the festival if you’d like. Those passes can take you about anywhere.” He pointed to a guy’s AAA wristband, hoping they would all take their ways and he could have some time to hang out with Ella.

With that, many of them turned to pour some drinks and make their way to the closest stage, the directors saying they were gonna check whoever was performing as well. About five minutes went by when they were all left alone with the PA by the drinks tent.

Ella smiled at them, grabbing the strap from her shoulder and taking her film camera in her hands, she turned it on before saying, “Let me take a picture of you all!” They all nodded and started taking position for the shot.

Alex ran his hand through his hair, as he smiled towards the camera. Matt and Nick were raising their drinks in the air and Jamie stood beside them with a cigarette between his lips. She captured her view, smiling at them as she lowered the device. “I’m going to be taking pictures all day so you better be good muses and pose for me.”

Alex and Matt laughed at the way she was starting to slur her words, getting very obviously tipsy already. The singer decided to tease her, “You know… you’re only missing your cowboy hat.”

She snorted, “I always have it with me.” and she lifted her left arm, showing off her little cowboy hat tattoo on the inside of her bicep.

He giggled in response, “Brilliant.” and he took a sip of his drink, “How many tattoos do you have?” He ended up asking, curious to know what she would decide to print on her skin permanently.

She took some time to think and count, touching her rib by the end and lifting a total of six fingers, “About six at the moment:” she showed her cowboy hat again, “this one’s for Tennessee,” she then turned to her side showing him her right arm, “Lover here,” she pointed to her right shoulder where the word could be read, she then proceeded to show her tricep on the same arm “The angel wings for LA,” she turned back to her front, and lifted her shorts a bit over her left thigh, “Divine feminine,” was the one on red ink Alex had first noticed, she then put her left arm up to show the outside of her forearm where three little butterflies adorned her skin “my butterflies,” and she finished touching her left ribs over her bodysuit “And Selcouth here.”

Jamie frowned as he let go of the smoke he was holding in his lungs, “Sorry, Sel– what?”

Her face softly blushed and her lips formed a shy smile, “Selcouth, uhm, it means unfamiliar or strange yet marvelous.”

Jamie nodded while Nick tilted his cup towards her, “That’s nice.”

“Thank you Nick.” She placed her hand over her chest, an exaggerated expression of her gratitude for the little compliment. “Anyway, how have you been? How’s the tour going?”

Alex sighed, moving next to her and throwing his arm around her shoulders, “Well, other than the constant moving and therefore constant jetlag, it’s been great.”

Matt, who had been doing something on the table behind them, turned around then with a smirk on his face, “But nothing some margaritas cannot cure, right lads?” He had two glasses on his hands, raising them up as he walked towards Ella. “Here you go m’lady,” and he waited until she hesitantly grabbed the glass from him to move on.

“Oh no Matt, I don’t think–” She tried saying quickly, holding the glass as far away from her as possible for him to take back but was cut off by the man before she could finish her sentence.

The drummer handed the other one to Alex and made his way back to the table to hand Jamie and Nick theirs. Holding his own drink, he turned around to tut at her, “We’re not thinking right now.” He took a sip and let out an exaggerated sigh of pleasure, “We’re having fun and getting pissed!”

She turned to her left where Alex was standing, still holding onto her. “I–” She started again but Alex looked at her expectantly, softly encouraging her to take a sip after he had taken one of his.

“It’s really good Ellie, try it.” Alex assured her, taking a second sip.

She rolled her eyes, “Okay fine, but you better not complain if you need to end up taking care of drunk Ella today.” pointing at all of them, she took a swig of the beverage.

They all cheered, throwing their arms up in the air. Alex’s arm left her shoulders for a moment and she just laughed at their enthusiasm. When his hold came back around her she approved of Matt’s creation, “That’s really good Helders, you’re gonna have to teach me how to make it.”

“Whenever you want, Ella.” Matt replied, winking at her.

She let out a short laugh that died when Alex held her a tiny bit tighter to his side. The alcohol in her system was making her feel brave, so she let her head rest on his shoulder. She felt him tense for a quick second and she was about to curse herself mentally, when she felt him rest his head on top of hers, rubbing her shoulder with his thumb, over her lover tattoo.

She bit her lip to stop a massive smile from appearing on her face, not wanting to be too obvious in front of the rest of the band who were too preoccupied chatting amongst themselves to notice.

Ella let her eyes close for a second, getting lost in the feeling of his fingers on her skin and that’s when Matt glanced at them, making eye contact with Alex who hid his smile behind his glass. The drummer didn’t say anything, he just nodded and smiled at his friend, happy to see him smiling after weeks of sadness.

A few weeks ago, the singer had broken up with his girlfriend. It was a mutual accord, both of them too busy to even see each other as often as they could manage which made them come to take the decision. Decision that very obviously hurt them both. They had been together for over four years and he had been thinking of proposing one day, but shit happens and all he could do was move forward.

Tour had been distracting him, and he had been writing a lot to cope but there was something about the way he had felt when he saw the American girl again, and now he didn’t want to let go of the feeling—therefore not letting go of her.

Ella lifted her head up, making him do the same. Alex looked down at her and she smiled at him before leaning into his ear and whispering, “I really like this new look.” she pulled back a bit and checked him out very clearly, making him blush.

He smirked with pink cheeks, “You do?”

She nodded eagerly, “Very much.” The green on her eyes, dusted with brown flakes that looked like gold under the sun, was hypnotizing him behind his sunglasses.

He let his arm fall from her shoulders to her waist, leaning into her ear and whispering, “Thanks Ella.” in a tone that almost made her shiver.

The next fifty minutes they spent all together, drinking more margaritas—which Matt had taught her now how to make—, taking pictures and just talking about whatever came to their minds.

As the time for them to be on stage got closer, the people from her crew came back, equally or more tipsy than she was. Alex had counted her current glass to be her third and when she finished it, he grabbed it from her and threw it away, leaving her side to get her a cup of water.

When he came back he grabbed her arm softly to catch her attention, “I need you to start drinking some water now, Ellie.” his voice mellow and coated with wariness over her state.

She rolled her eyes and laughed at his worried features, “Alex it’s fine, I’m not drunk yet.”

He nodded, grabbing her hand to have her fingers wrap around the cup, “Exactly, yet. We’re gonna keep drinking after our set, I just don’t want you to be sick while we’re on.”

Ella thought he looked so cute with his furrowed brows, taking care of her, “Hmm, you’re cute,” she said softly, giving him a toothy grin. “Okay, I’ll have some water.” she finally took the cup and brought it to her lips, relief washing over him.

He was blushing, really liking how she was being with him—all soft yet forward. “Great.” he replied in a mumble, holding her close to him once again like they had been all afternoon.

Many had seen them, but no one said a word. Not to him, because he was genuinely smiling after Alexa. Not to her, because no one could question her and be nosy about it in front of the band.

Her cup of water was halfway done when someone from his sound crew made his way over to their group. “Let’s go lads, we need you over by the stage. You’re on in ten.”

Alex nodded, downing the last of his drink. His mates did the same as he turned to her, “You’re gonna keep having water yeah?” his eyebrows raised as he expected her to comply.

An amused sigh was what he got, “Yes, okay, I’ll stick to water now.” She rolled her eyes as he nodded, pleased with her answer.

“Alright, see you up there.” He said before kissing her temple and making his way to the side of the stage, leaving her a statue under San Francisco’s burning sun.

She was frozen and flushed, her temple felt hot like she had been branded. Branded with the shape of his lips and she was sure she had been. That little kiss would be pathetically engraved in her mind forever now.

Matt made her come out of her trance, asking her, “Would you like another one before we go?”

She knew she should’ve kept her promise of sticking to water, but she truly felt like she was sobering back up to a barely tipsy state so she nodded, “Please and thank you, Matt.” She downed the last of the water she had and threw away her cup before going beside the drummer.

When she stood beside him he was quick to ask her, “Would you like another one so you have a refill for the show and don’t have to come back here to make yourself one?”

She giggled, “You wanna see me black out, don’t you?”

Matt laughed, shaking his head, “That would be hilarious to witness but no, I’m genuinely asking.”

“Oh Matt, you’re so kind, look at you!” She nudged his shoulder with her left hand, sarcasm so obvious in her tone. He just laughed as he poured some tequila in her glass.

A minute later her and Matt were making their ways to the side of the stage. Alex was lighting the end of a cigarette, Nick already smoking his and Jamie was telling them something. Ella thought it was the perfect opportunity to get another picture of them, so she set her glasses down on a table a few steps away from her and grabbed her film camera with her right hand.

Her feet took her to where the band was standing, and when she got close enough, she rested her hand on top of Jamie’s shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt but, can I take a picture of you guys?” she asked shyly, a little bit embarrassed over having cut their conversation short.

They all reassure her though, giving her warm smiles and nods. “Sure Ellie, where do you want us?” Jamie asked while turning around, facing her.

She pulled the camera up to her eyes, “Just stand right there and give me a pose.”

Nick kept his stance, smiling at the camera. Alex brought the cigarette from between his lips, and with it between his fingers, he put his hand out as if trying to reach for the camera. Jamie turned to him then, hugging him from behind like they were Rose and Jack from Titanic.

Ella laughed as she looked through the viewfinder, pressing the shutter once she got her lenses to focus. “Beautiful!” She exclaimed as she put the camera back down, turning it off and letting it rest on her stomach while the strap was around her neck.

“What the fuck? Why are you taking pictures of everyone but me?” Matt’s voice got louder as he came closer to them.

She snorted and brought her hand to her chest, “No, I’m sorry Matt, I’ll take another one with you! C’mon!” she waved for him to go stand beside his bandmates but the stubborn man just stood there shaking his head.

“No, I don’t want to be in the picture anymore.”

She pouted at him, “C’mon, before you have to go on stage.” she elongated her words, whining for him to move.

The drummer just stood there shaking his head as he adjusted his in-ears, the reason why he wasn’t around when they took the picture. “No.”

She rolled her eyes at his obstination, “Helders, get in the picture.”

He started playing with the drumsticks he had in his hands, shaking his head.

“I’m not going to drag you over here.” She uttered in a tired tone.

He shrugged, acting uninterested. “Okay.”

Ella threw her head back, and sighed, “Matt, please come here.”

He once again shook his head, “Thank you, I’m good.”

She deflated as the negative response reached her ears again, “Oh for fucks sake,” she mumbled to herself before pouting once again, “Please?”

The band was watching the whole situation, entertained. Matt made eye contact with Alex who was standing a couple of steps behind her, the singer just shook his head with an amused smile and Matt lost his serious stance when he chuckled.

A grin broke on her face, “Will you let me take your picture now?”

The drummer kept laughing lightly and nodded, “Yeah but this is your second and last chance.”

She rolled her eyes, bringing the camera up to her eyes. “Alright Helders, give me your best pose.” watching him through the viewfinder and trying to get the shot to focus.

He made it seem like he was going to strike a big pose, she was excited to see what he would do but then he just flipped her off with his drumsticks sticking out of his hands.

The men behind her bursted out laughing, the shutter went off once and she let the camera back down, hanging from her neck. “How nice of you, Matthew.”

He shrugged, smirking at her. “Well I really enjoyed hearing you beg, Ella.”

She rolled her eyes and it was her turn to flip him off. Matt just laughed at her, waving the lads over to start walking with him.

Just before they disappeared behind a fence, she told them “Good luck!” to which they thanked and smiled at her.

Ella went back to retrieve her margaritas, hoping no one had taken them, and to her relief they were still sitting where she had left them. She was quick to take a sip of one of the glasses, joining the group her crew made and walking with them to the side of the stage.

The festival crowd was loud, making the anticipation for their set build up. Her stomach was in knots seeing that many people and she couldn’t believe how the band didn’t seem nervous at all. They were laughing amongst themselves, adjusting their in-ears and smoking cigarettes as if they weren’t about to perform to a giant mass of people.

Ella had been staring at Alex so it was no surprise that he turned around and saw her. She kept her glance and gave him a bright grin, him matching it. He took a look at her hands and saw the cocktails she was holding onto. Alex raised his eyebrow in question, and she giggled before putting her cup up and mouthing ‘cheers’ to him to then take a long sip of the beverage.

He shook his head, smirking at her. He found everything she did so endearing, he was getting confused on what exactly was her effect on him. He couldn’t help but compare it to how he felt when Alexa would look at him or talk about him to her friends. But that was love, he was in love with Alexa and she was his girlfriend. Surely what he felt for Ella wasn’t love, he only was attracted to her; a crush, perhaps. Yet, it felt nice and he wanted to keep the feeling for as long as he could.

His thoughts were interrupted when they were instructed to get on stage. Walking up to hundreds of people who were screaming for their band and their music was something that he would never grow tired of. Not even in a narcissistic way, but a bloody-hell-I-can’t-believe-this-is-my-job way.

He blew the audience a kiss and waved at them as he went over to retrieve his guitar from its stand, then making way to the microphone to greet them. “How you doing, everybody?” he strummed his guitar, pressing on a pedal so it sounded distorted.

Her and the crew were cheering along with the crowd, only getting louder when Matt started hitting the drums. With ‘Library Pictures' they started their set, Ella knew the lyrics by heart so she was having the time of her life singing, dancing and drinking while she watched them play.

Their set lasted an hour long, and it went by so fast between the crowd going louder for their most recognized songs and the band feeding off their energy.

Soon enough, they were getting ready to play their last song, Alex said a few words before starting it. “Thank you very much everybody, thanks for coming out. You’ve been a terrific audience.” He pointed out to the people as he talked, “We’ve gotta go now, which is sad… but, erm, you enjoy the rest of your day and we’ll see you some other time.” And with that he started playing the chords to ‘When The Sun Goes Down’, singing the starting verses.

Before he repeated the last line of the song’s intro, he took a pause and the crowd yelled, cheering on the upcoming beat change. “Make some noise everybody, let me hear you.” said Alex to the crowd, encouraging their screams.

Matt took the moment to turn to the side of the stage, seeing Ella in the center of the group, with her cup almost empty and holding a burning cigarette between her fingers. She was cheering just as loud, making the drummer laugh before he looked back to the front, at the sea of people standing before the stage.

“I said, he’s a scumbag, don't you know.” sang Alex, making the beat drop and the band joining with their own instruments.

He turned around while playing his guitar, going over to Matt to continue strumming the chords when his friend nodded over to the side, where Ella was standing. He turned to look at her, and a big smile made its way to his face.

She had a cigarette perched between her lips and a half empty cup on her right hand, bumping her head to the beat while she imitated Matt’s beat of the drums with her hands. Alex laughed at how invested she was in the song, she was enjoying herself and that sight made him warm inside.

He turned back to the mic, singing the rest of the lyrics with the grin still stuck on his face. He looked over once again to the side of the stage, seeing her now imitating his fingers on the guitar. She smiled and pointed at him while singing the chorus with him.

Alex was so distracted by her actions that he almost sang the chorus once again, he stopped right away, mumbling an apology that was barely audible from the crowd’s cheers.

As the song came to an end, everyone but Alex stopped playing their instruments. Jamie threw his pick to the crowd and set his guitar down to leave; Matt stood up and waved at the crowd, leaving after Jamie. Nick went over his bass stand to set it down and crouched to get the drumstick Matt had thrown in the middle of stage, he tossed it to the crowd and put his arms up in celebration of their cheering before leaving.

Alex sang the last verse, elongating the last chord, to then turn around and leave his guitar next to Jamie’s. He grabbed his beer bottle and blew a kiss to the people before following the trail of his friends.

When he got to the side of the stage, he smirked and pointed at her, “You were the best dancer of the crowd.”

Ella blushed but jumped up and down exclaiming, “That was amazing!” Which made the rest of her crew come up to the band to congratulate them. The brits thanked everyone as they were all making their ways back down to the festival grounds.

Alex stood by her side, taking sip after sip of his beer. And as they took the last step of the stairs to the grass, she leaned into him and with slurred words said, “You know… this haircut really goes well with the whole rockstar thing you’ve got going on. The leather jacket, sunglasses everywhere and all that, pairs really well.”

He laughed at her drunken monologue, “How many margaritas have you had?”

She thought about it for a few seconds, frowning as she tapped her index finger on her lips, “Three, I think?” She thought back to how many times she’d left the side of the stage to make herself a drink and going back through her mind, she realized it had only been once while they were playing ‘Brick by Brick’.

He hummed and nodded at her response, “Well enjoy your last few sips of this one because it’s your last one.”

Ella pouted but nodded, knowing it would be for the better, considering they had to shoot right after the festival. “Okay, I guess.” She downed what was left of the drink, “Done!” she said with a smile, putting the now empty cup upside down in front of her, a single drop falling to the ground.

Alex chuckled at her, “You’re something else.” She was looking at him, squinting her eyes from the sun, so he grabbed his sunglasses and placed them on the bridge of her nose.

She adjusted them and softly nudged his hips with hers, “Thanks, the sun was about to make me cry.”

“You’re very welcome, they look good on you.” He complimented, making her blush.

She shook her head and put some of her hair behind her ear, “Ever the flatterer, Turner.”

They decided to go over the drinks tent to get Ella some water so she could sober up. She practically downed the first cup in less than thirty seconds, realizing how thirsty she had been for something non alcoholic or sweet. With a new cup of water for her, and a new beer bottle for Alex, they went up to their large group again.

Everyone decided to stay and watch The Black Keys, meaning they would leave at around seven thirty and they could reach their filming location to set everything up before it went fully dark out.

During the American band’s set, she had started to shiver. The sun was coming down and the wind was picking up, her no sleeve bodysuit and shorts weren’t helping her in the slightest and she had left her jacket on the bus.

When a particularly cold draft of air hit her back, the words automatically left her lips, “Shit, it’s so cold.” She was shivering despite Alex being beside her.

He of course took the opportunity to be cheeky, so he put his arm around her and hugged her to his side, “Is that better?”

“As much as I’d love to say yes, no.” she honestly replied when the wind still made her shake even with his hold tight on her.

He nodded, taking his arm off her. She thought for a second that maybe he had taken it the wrong way. But he placed his beer bottle on the ground, and took his jacket off, picking his bottle back up when he had the leather coat on his left hand.

“Here you go.” He offered his jacket to her, a shy smile on his face. He knew all about giving girls his jacket and how that looks to other people but he couldn’t give a shit about others’ opinions when he wanted her to be warm and to see how she’d look wearing something of his—other than his eyewear, that is.

She immediately looked to her sides at the crew scrambled around the main stage side area where they were standing. They were with the crowd but far away enough that no one would bother them, the people were too engrossed in the band playing on stage. The group she’d come with were all distracted as well and weren’t looking at them but she still didn’t want to draw more attention to them and she had a feeling that once they went to the hotel to sleep, she would be drowned in questions from her coworkers about her and Alex’s proximity.

She waved her hand in front of her as if to say no, “Alex, it’s fine I can bear it for a little longer until we leave.”

He knew why she was saying no, as she kept glancing over to her bosses and coworkers, so he reassured her, “Everyone is distracted Ella, no one’s going to see.” He understood her distress since he didn’t want her to get in trouble either or for people to talk about things that don’t concern them, but it would be fine.

Blood rushed to her cheeks when he said that, knowing he knew exactly what her thoughts were on the situation, so she sighed and gave in. “You’re annoying.” she stated as she grabbed the coat from him.

With a smirk on his face, he was quick to bite back, “And you’re very stubborn.”

Ella felt the comfort engulf her as she put the jacket on, drowning in his scent. It was slightly big on her but she looked stunning nonetheless, the sleeves covering up her hands made him want to squeeze her cheeks and kiss her. He felt the sudden urge to kiss her.

But they just smiled at each other, enjoying each other’s company far too much for this to be only a friend-through-work situation. His sunglasses were resting on top of her head now, so he stared at her hazel green eyes, getting lost in her gaze. She was staring right back at him with the hints of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. They were engrossed in each other's features while ‘Howlin’ for You’ played in the background, it was the claps and cheers that brought them back to where they were.

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About half an hour after The Black Keys set had finished, they had left the festival and arrived at the location they were filming. The production crew wasted no time and scrambled off their small bus to start setting everything up, taking advantage of the last minutes of light the sunset offered.

After what felt like another half an hour later, the empty field was now filled with light panels surrounding a black vintage car that was going to be the main attraction for this section of the music video.

Ella went into full work mode right as she stepped out of the bus. She was no longer wearing Alex’s jacket, she changed it for hers as soon as she got in the bus to avoid any questioning, his sunglasses now hanging on the neck of her bodysuit.

She was running around checking on everyone, making calls to the actor who was on his way for the next section of the music video that they were recording tonight as well. The model, Cali, was getting her makeup done after having been put in a skin tight black latex dress with matching heeled boots.

There was so much to check up around that she was definitely sober now. She stood by the directors once the model was ready and she pointed her where to go.

As the directors were busy and everyone was focused on setting audio and cameras up properly, she went back to the bus to retrieve Alex’s jacket.

He was standing on the left side of the production setup, far away in the shadows smoking a cigarette. The rest of the band stood looking as well, only closer to the directors’ chairs. She made sure to make enough noise for him to realize she was there but not enough to disrupt the filming process.

When Ella reached his side, she lightly touched his arm and he turned to her smiling. “Thank you.” she mouthed to him and he just nodded, scared of getting scolded for making any noise that could somehow ruin the shoot.

Knowing she had to leave and be present at her job, she pointed backwards so he got that she was going back to Ben and Aaron’s side. He would’ve loved to have her beside him while they filmed but she couldn’t and she wouldn’t either, she was professional and he had seen that before. So he nodded once again and as he went to take the ashy stick out of his lips, he waved her goodbye.

The model was posing in front of the cameras, getting filmed by two of them when Ella made it back to her bosses’ side. Only ten minutes later they announced they had enough footage of that and they could move on to the next frame which included Alex and Matt.

She had to call them over and the stylists made sure to have them looking good and ready before they stepped into the car. Alex took over the driver’s seat, Matt in the backseat of the car along with Cali.

A speaker they had brought along blasted the song they were filming for, ‘Black Treacle’, and she had to bite her tongue not to sing along.

The directors wasted no time in recording the new shot. Alex mimicked driving while he sang the lines he had composed, acting very confident and collected as he stared up front like there weren't two big cameras up on his face.

In great comparison, Matt sat with Cali on his lap, acting like she was getting off with him; his hands wandering up and down her sides, one of them grazing her ass.

Ben called cut about five minutes later, making Cali take place beside Matt once again. Ella was instructed by Aaron to retrieve something from the production design table, a Lyle’s black treacle can.

The main camera on Alex’s face still rolling as the two behind him listened intently to the instructions. Alex took the time to mess around in front of the camera, lifting his hand up and showing the middle finger to it, to then raise his index finger and make it a peace sign. He put his hand down to, seconds later, bring the peace sign back up, this time slightly puckering his lips up to the lenses.

She came back with the item in hand and Aaron thanked her before swiftly placing it on top of the car’s dashboard, perfectly subtle in the shot. Ben finished with his instructions and went back to Aaron’s side, calling the other camera men to start rolling again. And after another fifteen minutes of Alex’s fake driving and Matt’s fake makeout, the scene was wrapped up.

The two musicians made it out of the car; Cali followed close behind, but walked over to the makeup team where she could sit. Alex spotted Jamie and Nick standing beside Ella, who had her usual blue clipboard held tight to her side.

Jamie smirked at his drummer friend and was quick to tease, “Look at you Helders, getting all the action.”

Ella grinned at the comment before adding, “Yeah, isn’t that meant for the lead singers?” her gaze playful on Alex now, seeing his smirk as reaction to her comment.

“Oh he would love that, just with someone else I’m sure.” Matt trailed off, looking at Alex and then back to Ella.

Alex’s grin faltered at his friend’s statement, his face going slightly pale at the very obvious glance he had given the American girl, one that Ella hadn’t even noticed since she was preoccupied at how he had reacted at the mention of that someone else, feeling a pitiful sinking of her stomach.

“Matt, I swear I’ll kick you if you talk too much.” Alex quickly threatened through his teeth, staring sternly at his friend missing her brief frown.

Ella was quick to clear her throat, bringing an act up and stupidly trying to pry information on who that someone else might be, to settle the fact that everything that had happened today had been nothing to get excited about. Or maybe he was just flirty and she felt dumb for feeling special about the way he acted with her.

She internally laughed at herself for being pathetic and getting her hopes up for getting his attention for a day, she had to remind herself of what was reality. He was a rockstar and she was just a PA. He was constantly touring the world and she stayed in California. He could have anyone he wanted and she was just another girl.

Cursing herself for feeling so down over the comment she forced out a chuckle, “Oh, who’s the girl that has caught your eye? Is she a model as well?”

Alex whipped his head around to look at her, his features coated in confusion. He automatically saw through her, the way she was fiddling with her pen and the lack of authenticity behind her grin, her eyes showed the slightest bit of disappointment. He softly grinned at the thought of it meaning that she found him attractive and liked his company too, but his heart sank as he saw how Matt’s comment had rubbed off the wrong way on her.

He turned back to Matt and scolded him, “Helders, just shut up.”

His need to keep Matt quiet about the matter made her evening bitter, the thought of seeing herself as a fool only cutting deeper inside her. Jamie and Nick laughed, Matt pressed his lips together in amusement, all whilst Ella had to fake another laugh but failed at making it sound real.

Aaron called her up this time, her feet quickly taking her to her boss without even saying bye to the band since she just wanted to get away.

The crew had to put up a bonfire now, so a group of six people started gathering what they would need. The car was moved to the side by a crew member, getting the space free to make the brick circle in which they set the tinder and kindling wood, and then formed a teepee of firewood over it. Ella threw three matches and started the fire, the flames growing taller as the seconds went by, warming everyone around the site.

In fear of the fire burning out too quickly because of the wind, they started rolling the new scene soon after the flames came alive. The whole band was instructed to come in front of the burning wood, and they were filmed standing around it for only five minutes as they grew too hot, too soon.

With a few minutes to cool down, Matt was called in front of it again, to pose for the camera just to have those visually pleasing shots. And lastly it was Alex’s turn. He looked angelic, contrasted to the hell-like heat that burned; his leather clad back facing the camera, all Ella could see was the way the flames outlined his body frame in a way she just had to capture. She placed her clipboard between her legs and was quick to pull her camera to her eyes after turning it on. She took the picture and after advancing the film, quickly turned the device back off, feeling the weight on her neck again but satisfied by immortalizing such a moment.

He was hypnotic to her. The way he moved, the way he talked, the way he looked. Everything he did was smooth and magnetic, and she couldn’t peel her eyes off of him.

She was too enthralled by the singer that she didn’t notice how Matt had caught her taking the picture. He smiled at the sight and at how her shoulders slumped after she had pressed the shutter as if relieved to have caught the perfect frame.

He wouldn’t say anything to her about it but he wanted to make her know he’d seen it happen in a subtle way. So he approached her slowly and once beside her he asked, “Enjoy film photography much?”

Ella turned to see him, wide eyed and flushed but cleared her throat knowing there was nothing she could do if Matt had seen her actions. “A lot, yes. I started back in freshman year of university. Learned quite fast since I took a lot of pictures in frat parties,” She chuckled at the memory, “You become quite popular and invited to each and every one of them when you are recognized as the photographer.”

Matt hummed in response, “I got into photography in college at 16, around the same time I got into the drums. It was mainly because we just had access to cameras and we also had a dark room to develop our own pictures.”

She was slightly surprised but her smile quickly made an appearance on her face. She hadn’t genuinely smiled in a good fifteen minutes. “That’s sick! I’ve always wanted to have a proper dark room to develop. What camera do you use?”

“A Canon Canonet and I love it but I think I might get a Leica next. It’s just hard to let go of the first camera you fall in love with, isn’t it?”

Ella giggled as she nodded, “It really is.”

“Can I give yours a look?” Matt asked, genuinely curious about her gear and she nodded with enthusiasm.

She handed him her Minolta X-370, telling him how she had started in digital when she was in highschool before she saved up enough to get a second hand Olympus OM-10 in university and that was when she had fallen in love with analog photography, that had only led her into a massive spiral of film photography which was now one of her true passions along with videography.

Ella let him take a few shots, telling him how many shots she remembered to have left on the roll and she loved being able to bond with him over photography.

Alex was a few steps away from them when he saw them standing next to each other, sharing a high five. Her arm was on his shoulder while he held her camera in his hands and something inside Alex stung. His jaw tightened but seeing her smiling big after what had happened before made him loosen up again, stubbornly grateful for his friend for bringing back the sight.

The singer cleared his throat and they both brought their eyes up to him. “Hey mate. Was just telling Ellie how I’ve been into film photography since we were 16 and she let me give her camera a go. Can’t say I’ve ever used a Minolta before.” Matt explained, seeing the obvious unsettled feeling his friend was showing.

“Now that I know you take film, promise me you’re gonna send me your scans.” Ella pointed at him seriously, “The pictures you get while on tour must be stunning.”

Matt chuckled and gave her back her camera, “They are. I’ll send you some later.”

A tiny shriek came from her as she hugged Matt briefly, “Okay, I’m going to check on Ben and Aaron now, see you in a bit.” Her steps were fast, making her miss the sigh Alex left out after her abrupt goodbye.

A few minutes later, she had received a call from the actor telling her that he was at the place, so she met up with him and brought him over to get ready. It didn’t take long for the man to be in his costume which consisted of some jeans and an orange flannel.

Taking advantage of the energy they all still had, they didn’t waste more time and drove to a gas station that had allowed them to film, a mile away from them.

Once there, everyone took out their equipment and settled for the filming to resume. Matt had to act like he beat the man up in exchange for his clothes, since the drummer was playing a fugitive who still wore that typical inmate orange jumpsuit.

In the middle of the filming, Matt had started complaining about being hungry and not subtly commenting how good the food from the place crossing the street smelt like so Ella was sent over to the tiny restaurant and came back in record time with a big burrito in her hands.

Matt thanked her and went straight for it, the camera even catching him eating while he was supposed to be in character, driving Alex and Cali. She was sure the editing team would still use the shots though, since they looked so natural and weirdly accurate for the plot.

When the drummer came back out of the car, munching on his food, Ella took the chance of teasing him. “You know, you look like a proper southern dad. A farmer dad.”

Jamie and Nick doubled over in laughter, “Oh my god, he does!” exclaimed the bassist in laughs.

“Mate never move to the south of the states and have kids, it isn’t a good look.” Alex added, struggling to keep the laughs inside.

“You’re all jealous because I’m the main character now.” stated Matt, which earned him multiple head shakes and sneers.

Ella snorted, “Trust me Matt, no one’s jealous of that look.” And with that, laughter rained up on the group.

Their amusement was interrupted by Ben wrapping the evening up, signaling everyone on the Focus Creeps crew to pack up and fit everything back in the bus.

They drove up to the hotel the band was staying at, Aaron having managed to get rooms at the same place for a night.

At the lobby, the crew separated into groups and made a line to retrieve their keycards. Everyone with a backpack on their sides and a tired look on their faces. The British men were far too tired to wait until they were done, deciding to just say goodbye right there and go to their rooms.

Alex went up to the directors, shaking their hands and saying goodnight. The rest of his mates doing the same, and despite wanting nothing more than to hug Ella goodnight, he had to settle for waving her goodbye just like he did everyone else.

She gave him a shy smile and a tiny goodnight that definitely didn’t reach his ears. And with that he went to the elevators, eventually passing out in his bed with her on his mind.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

They had a good night of sleep, despite having to wake up early to have breakfast and check out as soon as possible. They should be arriving at Los Angeles before one in the afternoon, and with a six hour drive ahead of them, they needed to fight the clock.

Her brain had been swarmed by thoughts and she cursed her tendency to overthink for keeping her up longer than she had wanted to.

Ella knew people had noticed how close she was with Alex throughout the day and she knew questions were coming but the palms of her hands still clammed up when multiple people approached her in the lobby wanting to know details on the situation.

She had denied everything, swearing none of them felt any type of way towards the other—even though she knew she’d let her hopes rise up and it had ended up poorly for her. She denied having kissed him when they asked her, even if she’d been thinking about how that would feel all day.

She told them all how he was flirty with everyone, it was his personality so they shouldn’t think anything else about it. She was glad half of them shut up after that, the other half smirking at her, calling her lucky or mocking her words as if to say she was full of shit.

Ella got ready and had breakfast quite early, pinching an Advil from one of her coworkers for the slight headache she’d woken up with this morning. Today was packed: they’d be driving back to Los Angeles and basically recording the whole day, for as long as the sun decided to stay up; so she really needed this headache to go away.

They ended up loading the bus and heading off back to LA before it hit eight, managing to arrive at their location a little bit over one in the afternoon.

It was good that the crew was quick and effective, setting everything up in less than twenty minutes, enough time to have Matt ready and Breana, the new model, getting her hair and makeup done as well.

They were propped up inside an abandoned police station in the middle of the desert. It had a couple of jail cells, a tiny medical wing and some offices for the staff that used to work there.

Right when the cameras were ready to go, Ben had Alex walk through hallways to be recorded like that. He was wearing his typical jeans and leather jacket, with a simple shirt but always loyal to his sunglasses, even indoors. Matt was in one of the cells wearing an inmate jumpsuit, being filmed by two people and guided by Aaron.

She was running everywhere, being needed for small things every five minutes, even having to leave the premises with one of her coworkers to retrieve the rental car they had gotten that was the same make and model from the one they had used in San Francisco the night before.

Ella smiled at Alex when they made eye contact as she made her way to Ben. “Rental is here, we have Breana ready in the wedding dress and Aaron is still over there with Matt, I don’t really know how much he’s got left.” she informed her boss, to have him make the decision on what to do next.

Ben nodded and thought for a couple of seconds under the gaze of multiple people, “Let’s go ahead and do Breana’s shots outside while Aaron finishes up with Matt.”

“Alright, I’m gonna let him know.” just as fast as she said that, she left.

Alex knew that after Matt’s comment on set, she had retrieved back into that shell of hers. He wanted to know why, not trusting himself to come up with his own answers. The one thing he knew is that he’d try to make her feel better today, in any way he could. He’d just have to trust he’d have his chances.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

His luck had run out, or that’s what he thought had happened as he had no chance of talking to her at any moment throughout the day.

When she was free to talk, he was being filmed. When he was given the light to stand back behind the cameras, she was outside filming with Ben and Breana. When he could see her coming inside the building, she was way too busy for him to try and approach her. When they all went outside to join the other part of the crew, he had to go in the car to film with Matt and Breana.

Ella was on full work mode, it was hard to believe she was fighting a resilient headache that hadn’t died down even after the pills she’d taken. She was constantly asking Breana if she was alright, knowing she had to be somehow uncomfortable in a big wedding dress, in the middle of the desert under the blazing sun. A total of four water bottles is what the model had gone through, and Ella was slightly concerned as she was on her fifth bottle herself and she wasn’t the one running for the camera.

Ella trusted her though. Breana, or Bre—how she had told Ella she could call her—, was so nice to her. She had been making her laugh in between takes and she was grateful for the lovely distraction being the model and not Alex.

Maybe, she thought, I can get used to not being distracted by Alex and keeping it professional if I keep busy enough.

Now, after hours since Aaron and Ben had decided to wrap up on the desert scenes and they had all gone to a new hotel close to where they were filming the next day to shower, the whole group had followed someone’s suggestion on a bar nearby and they were surrounded by very American decoration—too neon for her tired eyes—and the constant chatter and clinking of glasses against each other.

The thuds of balls hitting the pool table’s wooden borders were surprisingly loud over the old juicebox machine that was playing some country song she could remember listening to on the radio when driving around the countryside at six years old in her dad’s truck.

Places like this brought her back home, and she found herself rubbing her fingers over her little cowboy hat on her arm while she took sip after sip of her rum and coke, absentmindedly nodding along at her coworker's story from her sister’s bachelorette party.

“Thank God her best friend didn’t end up calling those strippers or my grandma would’ve fainted and made her kick her out before the evening was over.”

Taking that as a cue, Ella straightened up and excused herself to go over to the bar for a refill. The place was fairly busy for a Sunday night, so instead of going back to her friends while she waited for the bartender to take her order, she leaned on the side of the bar’s varnished wood countertop.

“Excuse me.” She heard someone say softly to the couple talking to her right, they nodded towards the person and stepped aside to give him some space.

Of course she didn’t need to turn to see who it was, Alex Turner himself was standing beside her, looking as handsome as ever and smirking down at her.

“Fancy seeing you here.” he greeted, his smirk only growing when she rolled her eyes and blushed.

“Hey Alex,” her voice was soft and if he wasn’t right beside her, he could’ve missed her words. “You enjoying yourself?”

She was adorable, going all shy, and Alex felt slightly bad for coming over with the intention of being explicitly flirty with her but he also wanted to shoot his shot and see her reaction. “It’s been good so far. I actually came here to tell you something.” he left his words lingering in the air and she frowned at the mysteriousness of it all.

He was still smirking though, so it was confusing her a little, “What’s up?”

“I think there must be something wrong with my eyes,” he started and she got a tiny bit closer to see right into his eyes so she could see if he’d gotten anything in them, but he caught her off guard with what he said next, “I can’t seem to take them off of you.”

Ella could feel her cheeks burning up, her jaw had fallen slightly and she almost let out a scoff in disbelief. She ended up laughing as she shook her head, “How much have you had to drink?”

He shrugged and completely evaded her question, “I mean it.” Truth is he had only had two pints of beer, he wasn’t even drunk.

She was sure it was impossible for her cheeks to go redder but they had and she felt them hotter than ever, “Oh Alex, stop it.” she stared at the ground and shook her head.

The bartender caught her attention then and she got another glass, filled almost to the rim. She tipped the man good for the generosity, she really needed the liquid courage if Alex was saying shit like that to her.

But before she could keep the conversation, he leaned into her ear and with his arm snaking around her waist and said “See you around Ella.” and with a gentle squeeze of her side, he left her there, blushing and breathless.

Fucking hell, so much for keeping myself distracted from him.

Thirty minutes later, she felt like she was in those movies where you get stuck in the same day, over and over, because Alex was by her side once more while she waited for the bartender to make his way around to her.

She turned to her side to face him and before she even had the chance to say something he gave her another flirty line, “Serious question,” she nodded at his fake appearance of curiosity, already feeling her cheeks turning crimson by whatever he was going to say, “How does it feel like to be the most gorgeous girl in the room?”

Ella was expecting a pick up line but not that pick up line and she definitely went bright red. She covered her face so he couldn’t see her like that but he had been staring at her face, he hadn’t missed the way she’d blushed even if he’d only seen it for a second before she’d use her hands to hide.

“Alexxxx” she whined, not knowing what else to say, because what could she say after that? She never had a clue of what she was supposed to respond to pick up lines and the fact that it was Alex saying them made it even harder to think. Not just a response, anything. Anything at all.

He hummed in satisfaction, smirking at her,“I like it when you say my name like that.”

Something inside her flipped and she felt a tingling feeling travel all throughout her body, specially feeling those words between her legs. She wouldn’t even dare to open her mouth, scared of the noise or whatever words that would come out so she stuck to shaking her head.

A few seconds later, she pulled her head back up from between her hands, “Do you always tell girls the same lines?”

He shook his head confidently, “No, I promise this is the first time I’ve ever told a girl that last one.”

Ella narrowed her eyes at him, “I don’t believe you.” He’s full of shit, there’s no way he hasn’t used that one before, she thought.

He grinned softly at her, as if to reassure her, “It’s a promise and I don’t break those Ellie.”

In the same second her name had left his lips, the thud of a glass being put on the table was heard. She slapped some ten bills on the side for the man who served her to take and she turned around to the singer to lift her glass up and down her double rum on the rocks.

He chuckled at her, as she wiped a drop of alcohol from her chin and licked the finger she’d done it with. “Okay, easy there Ellie.”

She was feeling a little bit braver by now, and still not believing him she dared him, “Don’t you have any cheesier lines left, Turner?”

He smirked, “Yeah, this one,” he cleared his throat and started, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude, but you owe me a drink…” he took a pause, his facial expression dramatic as he put up a character to deliver the line correctly. Ella was expectantly waiting for the next bit, slightly growing impatient even if it had only been a pause of five seconds, “Because when I saw you, I dropped mine.”

She burst out laughing, not believing him for using that cringey line. “Has that one ever worked?” she asked between giggles.

He smiled amused at her laughter, “To be honest, I don’t think so.”

They both doubled over in laughter, the alcohol making the situation funnier than it was but she was laughing with him and that’s all that mattered, and as she stayed the rest of the night with him, talking and sharing drinks, it made him feel even more pleased. It was a feeling that stuck with him even after the rest of the band and some of the members of her crew joined them for the rest of the night.

After the short walk back to the hotel from the bar that she’d done beside Diana and Tyler, she went up to her hotel room. The night was quiet, hallways echoed at the slightest step you took and it felt like you could startle everyone awake on your floor when you closed the door to your room, but her brain was in a frenzy.

As she dumped micellar water on a cotton pad to take off her makeup, continuing with every step of her nighttime routine, it seemed like her mind wouldn’t shut up about the bar and Alex. Alex at the bar. Alex at the bar with her. Everything he had said at the bar. All the fleeting touches she could still feel on her skin.

Ella felt like screaming at herself, to shut it all up. She couldn’t get her hopes up for some cheesy pick up lines he could’ve googled five minutes before approaching her, for some hugs that maybe were usual for him to give around, for the behavior that maybe was his normal way to be.

He could be flirty with everyone.

She didn’t necessarily know him that well to tell if this was special treatment or if he was that way with every lady he got close with. And on top of it all, he had been drinking, and under the influence she was well aware people tended to turn more flirtatious than usual. Her older sister was living proof of that, and she shivered at the flash of memories that came to the front of her mind with that train of thought.

She pointed at herself in the mirror while brushing her teeth, her eyes stern and seemingly threatening. You either get a grip or you get someone to slap you into consciousness, she threatened herself and with a nod, she finished getting ready for bed. She only hoped that once she got in bed, sleep would get her as soon as her head touched the pillow.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It hadn’t been like that.

Her brain did her dirty once again, and she kept herself awake for way too long overthinking. Just like she always did. Her days were a cycle of constant overthinking, that’s why she made sure to keep herself busy, or to keep a packet of cigarettes and her lighter always on her.

This new day was going to be just as exhausting as the one before it, only even harder due to the hangover she was sporting. She’d taken two ibuprofens first thing in the morning, chugged a bottle of water and put on some cheap black sunglasses she’d bought at a gas station on the last spring break she’d celebrated in Florida with her university friends that surprisingly had survived the wear of the years. Her film camera was hanging around her neck once again, making sure she’d have it with her since regretting leaving it in her backpack instead of taking it to the bar with her the night before.

They all drove to a house a couple of miles away from where they had stayed the night. Still out in the desert, the house was very rustic and had a giant backyard. There was a pool and outside of the fences that surrounded the property was an old stable, surrounded by old cars and a junkyard in which the owner seemed to like to play mechanic.

Bre was getting ready and her outfits for the shoot had Ella’s jaw dropping every time. She couldn’t deny how gorgeous Breana was, and to be honest she might even have a slight crush on the model but she wouldn’t do anything about it.

The day was going by smoothly. Aaron and Ben stayed filming with Tyler inside the house, most of the time the crew was kept to a minimum to keep Bre comfortable when she had to film half naked or topless.

Breana was a good sport though, very professional and keeping a straight face and in character even when Ella thought she’d feel vulnerable, because god knows that if she even had to be in her underwear in front of one single camera she’d be blushing and shaking non stop. Ella was in awe of how easy it was for Bre to strip down in front of Matt—who she’d just met the day before—and the rest of the people standing behind the scenes, and basically act like she was having sex with the drummer.

So Ella was running around as per usual but most of the time it was to have Bre be at her most comfortable state, getting her water when she needed it, handing her a robe if she asked for it, asking if she wanted anything in particular or if she was comfortable with the shot they’d just done.

When everyone came outside and it was time for Matt and Breana to be filmed messing around in the pool, Alex finally saw her behavior towards the model and he couldn’t help but silently laugh. Nick and Jamie confused as to what was the laughter for when Breana was topless diving into the pool now, they thought maybe it was funny because of Matt’s reactions to the model and that was the only conclusion they could get at while watching everything unfold in front of them.

When Ella made her way by Alex’s side and sighed, he chuckled under his breath. She turned to him and frowned, slightly confused at his reaction to her coming his way. “What?” she’d asked rather defensively but still lighthearted.

“I haven’t seen someone act like this since I was in primary school and someone had a crush on a girl from their class.” he smirked playfully at her.

She rolled her eyes, blushing at being caught for tending a lot to Breana. “Oh shut up, you can’t blame me. Look at her, she’s stunning.”

He didn’t take her eyes off of her though as he replied rather lazily, “Hmm, I guess she is.”

She turned to him slightly offended, “You guess?”

He rolled his eyes playfully now, “Okay yes, she is stunning.” He stated one more time but was still watching the American girl in front of him intently.

Ella hummed with a doubtful expression on her face while she frowned, “I thought so… Was starting to think you had some real trouble with your eyes then.”

He took the opportunity to bring yesterday back up then, “I tried telling you yesterday, you wouldn’t believe me.”

Something in her went hot and flipped at the same time, “You’re a tease, you know that Turner?” she nudged him with her hip, making him slightly sway to the side.

“I’ve been told that one too many times.” Alex smirked at her, nudging her back with his hip.

Ella had to force her jaw to stay in place, unholy thoughts making way through her mind and she knew she would go bright red if she kept looking at him while thinking of all the ways she could make him prove that.

She looked back to her front, seeing Breana come back out of the water and hugging herself. She cleared her throat and pointed to her right side, “I’m gonna get her a towel.” she muttered and a shit eating grin was plastered on his face from seeing her reaction to such a simple sentence.

As she left, with the slight sway of her hips and the sight of the high rise black shorts she had on and how they contrasted against her tan legs, he also had some unholy thoughts about how pretty she’d look in between his sheets.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Before the trip had happened, and the list was handed to her at the start of the month, Ella had suggested bringing a biker gang to record with the Monkeys. Because what’s more American than a biker gang.

Ben and Aaron had jumped on the idea straight away, and she made sure to find the friendliest group of bikers out there that were down to appear in the video posing as a dangerous outlaw gang.

An hour later since she had left Alex’s side, she had made her way back to where the band—minus Matt—was standing. “Okay so I have a surprise…” she said in a high pitch tone and with her hands clutching her clipboard tightly to her chest as she rose up and down on her tippy toes as if she wanted to jump on her place but was holding back from doing it.

Nick automatically matched her enthusiasm, “What is it?” he asked effusively and Jamie raised an eyebrow and laughed at his mate’s reaction.

“So I hired a biker gang for the video,” she paused and her smile got even brighter when she saw the three men respond positively to her surprise, “and you’re all joining them on the ride while we film.”

Jamie nodded excitedly, “That’s brilliant, thank you Ella.”

She almost screeched, “I’m so glad you liked the idea, for a second before coming here I got scared you all hated bikes or something.”

Alex shook his head, “We actually have ours at home.”

She gasped, “Oh really?!? Oh my god– Okay, okay, let’s go!” She turned around quickly, hoping they would follow her as she made her way to the big group of sixteen people on bikes that were waiting by the side of the big empty road.

The guys chuckled at her eagerness, and went behind her matching her quick pace. Once they reached the bikers, she made sure to introduce them all and thank them for coming and filming with the band.

She’s adorable, thought Alex.

Ben had gotten four bikes for the band, which were standing a little further behind the large group of bikers. Ella made sure to guide them to the vehicles, Matt already sitting on his with Breana sat behind him. They seemed quite cozy for the camera’s not to be rolling anymore.

As the guys chose their bikes, she turned on her camera. Alex was sitting on the bike he’d chosen, putting the helmet on and the leather gloves that were there as well.

Matt opened his mouth, seeing the perfect opportunity laid out in front of him so he asked in a tone that said he was up to no good, “Ella! Have you ever ridden a motorbike?”

She shook her head, “No, but they seem fun though.”

The biggest, most satisfied grin appeared on the drummer’s face then, “Oh I’m sure Alex would love to take you for a ride.” His tone so suggestive, Breana laughed harder than she’d anticipated, having to hide in Matt’s neck to lower the intensity of it.

Nick continued the teasing, “Alex likes a good ride, you’re assured to have fun.”

Jamie not even missing a beat before adding, “Or you could take her for a ride later if that’s what you both want, privacy and all.” The guitarist winked and she was as red as one could be, but she took her camera and used it as a prop to hide her blush.

In the viewfinder she found Alex flipping off Jamie and Nick who were standing on his right side by the bikes they had chosen. She focused the shot and pressed the shutter, rolling the film to have it ready for the next frame.

Alex turned to Helders then, taking his helmet off to talk. Instead of directing his words to his friend, he sent them to Breana, “I assure you Breana, it’s not gonna be a good ride so don’t waste your time.”

Breana laughed even louder, making Ella do the same and the guys exploded in laughter when Matt copied Alex and flipped him off. “Don’t listen to him Bre, I promise that’s not true. He’s just frustrated.”

“Well that sounds desperate now, Matthew.” Ella chatted back after gaining back some composure.

“No it doesn’t, I’m just saying… It’s not a veridic statement.” The drummer continued pushing his argument.

Jamie snickered, “You’re just making it worse there mate.”

Matt huffed, the bandana covering his mouth blowing at his action. “You know what? See ya’ later, dickheads!”

And with that and a shriek from Bre, he changed gears, pressed the pedal and went fast straight into the empty road.

Ella turned around after the cloud of dust had disappeared and looked at Alex who was squinting from the sun’s intensity and his lack of sunglasses on his face. She still had her camera on and in between her hands, so she snapped one last shot of him with his hair all messy from taking the helmet off and sweaty from the desert’s burning weather.

She advanced the film roll one last time before turning her camera back off and letting it hang on her neck. Nick and Jamie had put on their gloves already and were getting the helmets on their heads when Alex spoke up.

“So are you hopping on or not?” his hands were resting on his spread thighs and she had to force herself not to get distracted by those legs and look up to his face.

“I don’t know… Ben and Aaron might need me and I–”

“They won’t say anything if I explain how I’d refuse to get in the shot if you weren’t riding with me.” he shrugged nonchalantly while she was blushing once again. “C’mon, I wanna be the one that gives you your first ride.” he said innocently, no suggestive undertone.

She raised her left eyebrow and replied, “You wouldn’t be the first one.”

“But you said–?” he continued, confused until he saw her face and realized what she meant. He smirked at her sudden boldness, “Well then, we shall see how well you ride.”

And just like that her boldness was snapped away and she blushed harder. Keeping her stare at the ground as she took her steps over to him and the bike, she reached to grab the helmet Matt had left behind and she put it on carefully under Alex’s gaze. Moving her camera to rest on her left side rather than on her stomach.

Carefully she sat behind the singer, not really knowing what to do with her arms. He saw her hesitating hugging him by the waist so he encouraged the action. “Just hold onto me alright? I promise I won’t go too fast.”

She hummed at his promise, scooting a bit closer to his back so she was pressed into him. Her hands clasping each other around his middle was a sight that made him smile hard under his helmet.

When he revved the engine of the bike, her hold got tighter and he laughed at the tiny shriek she let out. “Don’t worry, I got you Ellie.” He squeezed her right thigh briefly in reassurance, and with the thought of how natural it felt to do that with her, he changed gears and started driving.

They rode the bikes for about twenty minutes, mainly following the same path as the bikers. The cameras followed them and she was living for the thrill it gave her. The day hadn’t finished, yet she couldn’t wait for the next time she’d get to ride a bike.

Taking a break in a long dirt field, Matt and Alex stood up from the bikes, Ella still sat on Alex’s but without her helmet now. Alex’s helmet had taken over his seat and they were all smoking Ella’s cigarettes.

Both musicians had teased her for her selection of cigarettes, “Really Ella? You couldn’t get more American.” Matt had said the second he saw the turquoise Natural American Spirit cigarette pack.

Alex giggled, “What does organic cigarettes even mean?”

She excused herself blushing like she always did. “It means the tobacco is organic,” she rolled her eyes, “but okay, let me be, I just wanted to try them. A friend recommended them to me but I’m waiting to finish this pack to go back to my Marlboro reds. I miss them.” she sighed letting the smoke out of her lungs.

Matt continued to tease, “Organic cigarettes…” he shook his head smiling, knowing that he was pushing Ella’s buttons even more.

“Okay Helders, you know what? Just shut up, I’m never sharing smokes with you again.” she scoffed, not annoyed entirely but she was teasing him as well.

“Good for me if I can avoid whatever this is.” he said waving the half burned cigarette.

She rolled her eyes once more before taking a long drag of her cigarette and then tossing it on the ground and quickly stepping on top of it. “Whatever,” she pulled her camera that was still resting on her side and turned it on, “pose for me idiots, lighting looks good here.”

They stayed where they were, chuckling but turned to look at her. Alex took a drag of his cigarette and Matt just stood there with the bandana around his neck now rather than covering half of his face. After she pressed the shutter once, she used the lever to roll the film and took one last picture. She turned it back off and waited for the men to finish smoking.

And right there her thoughts were once again all taken by Alex. She knew smoking was bad—hell, her mom had given her a huge lecture when she’d first found her smoking on a picture in Facebook, telling her all about how your lungs would slowly die and she’d get cancer if she kept that up. She knew it was true but she still rolled her eyes, she’d grown with the smell of burning tobacco from how her dad would always have at least two a day, what did she expect?

But it truly seemed like smoking didn’t do anything but good to Alex. He looked so especially hot to her when he was smoking. And she swore he could be the example of the arguments to fight the debate on smoking, in favor of the scientifically proven murderous addiction.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The day had gone on, Ben and Aaron didn’t say much about her riding in the back of Alex’s bike. She’d been nervous when approaching her bosses to ask if there was anything she could help with, but she was surprised when they just told her that the bikers scenes had been amazing, they thanked her for the good idea and managing to get such a cool group of people to work with.

She was elated to say the least, a weight lifting off her shoulders at the lack of trouble. She still had had to deal with the curious looks from multiple people on her crew but she was getting used to them now and she had been learning how to ignore them.

One of the last scenes they filmed was of Matt and Breana getting off on top of a UK flag. A fire was burning on a metal barrel beside them, the flames contrasting perfectly against the pitch black surroundings and setting the mood for the couple being filmed.

She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, she just knew Matt and Breana were hot together and she was holding her jaw closed with a bit of struggle. The band was standing with her, Nick and Jamie to her left and Alex to her right. The singer had told his two bandmates about her crush on Breana so that they would keep an eye on her behavior around her throughout the day, so while they were all watching the scene, they’d take turns to look at Ella and the poor job she was doing on trying to keep her reactions neutral.

After what felt like an hour but had only been half of one, Ben had wrapped up the production officially and everyone clapped to themselves and their hard work. Breana was called over by the costume and makeup department and after giving Matt a kiss on the cheek, she left him to get changed. The drummer spotted his friends and made his way to them with a satisfied smile.

But before he could say anything, Ella talked. “Helders, you did a good job… you lucky bitch.” she added that last bit sounding jealous, leaving the man confused.

Alex laughed, “She is a bit too jealous of how close you got with Breana, she’s got a slight crush on her.”

Nick snorted, “Slight? Not at all.”

Ella gasped, turning to Alex who was the only one who had caught her on her crush on Breana. “Alex Turner, you snitch!” she said through her teeth.

“C’mon you think no one would notice?” the singer said in defense.

Jamie aiding his friend and saying, “Yeah Ellie, you’ve been drooling.” The smirk on his face made her roll her eyes embarrassed.

Matt put an arm around Ella’s shoulders then, sighing in a fake defeated tone, “Well, who do I think I am stepping in the way of true love?”

She shrugged his arm off, “Piss off Helders.” she mumbled.

The drummer raised his eyebrows at her then, “You hang out with Alex for a bit and you start sounding British? I’m impressed.”

This time though, it was Alex who replied for her, “Helders… piss off, would ya’?”

Matt laughed, shaking his head and pointing towards Alex while looking at Jamie and Nick as if to say ‘get a load of this guy’. Jamie and Nick gave him knowing smiles, it was painfully obvious that he liked Ella and they were wondering where it would lead to.

Ella had excused herself and gone to help the production team pack everything back up. Keeping the chats with her coworkers to a minimum so she could finish sooner and so she could also avoid any talk about the band—well, Alex in particular.

Since it was a Monday and they had had quite a busy weekend, no one even suggested going out for drinks to celebrate, too tired to think about anything else other than their own beds. Ella had been too, but looking back to everything that had happened in just this weekend alone, had her filling up with a surge of energy that she was struggling to keep down.

Matt and Breana seemed especially affectionate after the production, talking to each other for the hour and a half it had taken for the Focus Creeps crew to fit everything back up on their bus.

Before everyone got to bidding each other farewell, Matt and Breana approached the directors and Ella.

“Ben, Aaron. Was just thinking here with Breana, wouldn’t it be fun if we went to Las Vegas for the day and filmed a bit there? We could get some good footage there.” He sounded very convincing, really trying to sell his idea. Not because he wanted to be filmed more, he’d rather be done with it already but he wanted to spend more time with Bre and Alex to have Ella’s presence for a little while longer too so if this idea would have them that, then so be it.

To Ella’s surprise, Aaron declined on the idea, “I’m tempted to say yes, but we need to go back and start editing and look over the footage just to see if we need to do any reshoots.”

Ben’s addition though was the one that gave her whiplash. “But Ella could go, and film you guys around like she did in the arcade. I know you all get along with her so I’m sure you wouldn’t mind just having her than the full crew.” His suggestion lingered in the air and everyone turned to look at her for an answer.

She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out of it. Matt looked at her encouragingly, Breana was resting her chin on his shoulder and kept nodding at her to incite her to say yes. Ella sighed and cleared her throat, “Uhm, yes of course I’d love to go.” her voice sounded hesitant as she thought of how on earth she’d go to Vegas if her car was back at the office. “I’d need to go back to the office to get my car though…”

Matt clicked his tongue at her which made her blush, feeling silly. But what had been silly about her comment? How else was she going to go to Las Vegas? In a taxi? That would be worth at least half of her monthly income.

“You’re going with us on the tour bus.” the drummer replied, making her freeze.

“Are you sure?” she had to ask one more time, just to give him the opportunity to take back the offer but he didn’t.

“I am sure.” Matt said confidently, “Bre is coming with us on the bus as well.”

An oh escaped her lips, “Okay, well, erm… Yes, that’s fine by me then.”

Breana let out an excited squeal that made a grin break out on her face. And a minute later she was getting a bag with the camera she’d used at the arcade and a couple more things she could need throughout the day in Vegas.

With her hand clutched on the backpack carrying the filming devices and accessories, and with her other little backpack she’d brought over for the weekend, she walked up to the Monkeys tour bus.

The couple of the hour were there waiting for her and Breana leaped forward to hug her and link her arm with hers to walk into the vehicle. Matt said she could drop her things inside wherever she wanted and that they had enough bunks for everyone so Ella needn’t to worry about anything so she sighed a bit in relief.

The relief only lasted a few seconds since when Matt opened the door to the stairs of the bus, she realized she’d be spending the day with the band and in their environment. With Alex and in his environment. Fuck.

The nerves she had were overpowered by the loud cheering she heard when Breana and her stepped into the main lounge area of the bus. And when Matt opened one of the cupboards on top of the makeshift kitchen sink, grabbed a silver Patron tequila bottle and set it on the table in front of the band, she was weirdly excited and scared for what was going to happen on this trip.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Vegas babyyyyy!!!!! I love me a Vegas fanfic moment so it was a blessing Evil Twin mv has Vegas clips in it. That's coming to you guys in a fortnight heheh. Any ideas of what will happen?? I hope these two weeks fly by because I'm hurting not posting the next part right now. Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you liked it and I love hearing any and all of your thoughts so please feel free to share them with me! Have a lovely weekend everyone, see you soon! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31

#Alex Turner #alex turner x reader #alex #turner #arctic monkeys #alex turner fanfiction #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fluff #alex turner blurb #alex turner drabble #alex turner one shot #alex turner imagine #alex turner x y/n #alex turner arctic monkeys #matt helders #nick omalley #jamie cook

[serenxanthe]

After Ziost, a SWTOR Story

Part 5 (Chapters 10 - 12): The Final Part - In which Theron makes a decision.

Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.

Part 3 is here.

Part 4 is here.

Chapter 10

Theron didn’t get in a taxi back outside Satele’s place, it’s not like he had anywhere he needed to be, let alone wanted to be. He wandered the streets aimlessly for what seemed like days, but was probably only a few hours.

The pain in his feet from the unaccustomed amount of walking he’d done brought Theron back out of himself and he looked around. Somehow he was standing outside Seren’s apartment, their apartment for a short amount of time almost four years ago. 

He knew she’d bought it from the original landlord a couple of years ago, and they’d talked about spending some quality time here together, for old time’s sake, but somehow they’d never found the time to do so. Now they never would. Theron hesitated then tried the old code they’d used back then. Somehow he was unsurprised when it worked, and the door slid open. 

“Welcome home, Theron Shan.” the automated security system intoned, responding to his bioscan, and Theron suppressed a sob. Gritting his teeth to prevent tears, Theron walked around the apartment. Seren had kept the decor pretty much the same as he remembered, but it seemed like she’d added more bits and pieces, what looked like momentos from her travels around the galaxy, and some beautiful art. 

He sat down on the sofa in the sitting room, trying to remember the evenings they’d spent together here, happy; enjoying each other’s company, wrapped up in each other and the all-encompassing excitement and passion of a new relationship. 

Against his will, Theron’s mind drifted to the last night he’d spent on this sofa. Alone, drunk, unaccountably angry with Seren for absolutely no good reason, before he’d abandoned her without a word to head off-planet in pursuit of Zho, his old Master. The first of many times he’d sabotaged their relationship, only to be subsequently forgiven. 

He’d told his father, just that afternoon, although it felt like a lifetime ago, that he’d do better at showing Seren how much he loved her. Now he never would.

Theron couldn’t stay on that sofa any longer and he got up and went into the bedroom, hoping he’d be able to focus on the good memories better in there. He looked around, it was pretty much as he remembered, bar the tasteful planetary memorabilia.

Something else was new on Seren’s bedside table. He looked more closely, there were two holo pictures in expensive looking frames. 

He picked one up; it was a copy of the picture the guy with the cam had taken of them during their date at Skytower. She must have gone back to purchase the file at some point. He hadn’t known. He looked at it. They looked great; dressed up in their best clothes, so young, so shiny; but what really stood out was how happy they looked, how in love. And he had already loved her then, even though it was years before he admitted that to himself, let alone her. 

The other holo picture was, wait, was that Taris of all places? They were cuddled together in an empty refugee tent, one of the moments they’d snatched together during his pursuit of Master Zho and Seren’s of the Imperial spymaster Watcher One.

He remembered now; Seren had been showing him her new probe droid, BX-23, Theron laughing at her, jokingly accusing her of picking tech on the basis that it came in her favourite colour of green. Seren had got it, or ‘him’ as she  insisted on calling the droid, to take a still of them cuddling on a camp bed, clothes and faces grubby from the swampy mud of Taris, but still smiling. He’d never seen the result, but at some point Seren must have had the file converted to a holo picture and framed.

Theron confronted an uncomfortable possibility. Had Seren really loved him more than he loved her, like Jace had implied? He’d thought they were on the same page all along, but… Theron thought about all the times he’d seen Seren swallow her words, or pretend that she hadn’t seen the negative reaction on his face to any mention of too much commitment, too much intensity of feeling. He’d been grateful that she understood and regulated her own responses, he thought, disgusted with himself.

Had it taken her… death for him to realise that she was the centre of his galaxy? Not the Republic, not the SIS; her. His beloved. 

Theron kicked his boots off, shrugged out of his jacket, and lay down on what had been his side of the bed. Still clutching the holo picture of them on Taris, he grabbed Seren’s pillow and curled into it. He didn’t expect for one moment that he’d be able to sleep, but somehow he slept almost instantly; his body worn out by shock and grief.

Chapter 11

The trilling of his communicator woke Theron at 6am. Probably Satele or Jace calling to check he was ‘safe’, he thought. His head was pounding like he’d drunk a bottle of whisky last night, even though he hadn’t touched a drop in days.

Theron rolled off the bed and headed into the kitchen, hoping there was still caf making equipment and supplies here. There was a huge shiny top of the range caf machine and Theron sighed in relief. But wait, it wasn’t the one that had been here when the apartment had been leased. Seren didn’t drink caf, but she must have bought it… the realisation sent another stab of intense pain to his heart; she’d bought it for him, in anticipation of him finding the time to stay here with her. Because gods forbid I’d bother to make the time, right? he berated himself bitterly.

His communicator was still trilling, why wouldn’t they just leave him alone? He gave in and answered it. Theron was astonished to see Director Trant standing there, looking harassed.

“Shan, I need you in the office straight away this morning.” Trant said without preamble, or even a greeting.

“What?” Theron said, “What do you mean?”

Trant sighed impatiently. “Obviously you’re reinstated, Theron.” he told him. “We need every agent working round the clock to counter this new threat, and Saresh agreed you’ve been punished enough now for Ziost and the Sixth Line.”

He’d been reinstated? Just like that. Theron didn’t know how he’d expected to feel hearing the news he’d been hoping for, plotting to achieve, for the past two months, but it wasn’t this. He felt nothing. “Sure, Director.” he said, “I’ll be in soon.”

The Director snorted, “By soon, you’d better not mean two hours later this time, Theron!” Marcus suddenly realised what he’d said; having spotted where Theron was standing, properly looked at the expression on his face. 

“I’m sorry about Seren.” Marcus told Theron with genuine, if belated, sympathy. “I know she meant a lot to you.”

The blank expression on Theron’s face was instantly replaced by one of anger. “She meant a lot to me? My girlfriend of years, the only person I’ve ever loved, meant a lot to me? 

Trant held his hand out to Theron in apology, “Theron I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply…”

Theron interrupted him angrily, “She meant, she means, everything to me, Director. Everything. In fact, yeah, you know what? Screw your job, I don’t care. I resign.”

Trant felt a flash of anger himself. “If that’s really true, Theron, why weren’t you on that flagship too? Why did you spend the last two months here on Coruscant begging for your job back instead of out in wild space with her?” 

Theron’s face had gone white with shock, but Marcus didn’t relent. “If you need to tell yourself that she meant literally everything to you, that you don’t care about your job at all, to make yourself feel better, less guilty, then fine; whatever. But do it in your own time, and in the meantime get into the office like I said. The SIS, and the Republic, need you.”

Theron said nothing, just cut the call and switched off his communicator. He could feel a call coming in via his implants. Trant again. He bit down to sever the connection.

Theron spent the morning wandering the streets and back alleys of Coruscant again. He didn’t have a plan, a destination in mind, but the exercise, and the endless need for caution traversing the dangerous gang lands in parts of Coruscant at least provided some sort of distraction from his misery. Was he looking for a fight? For an excuse to take his rage, his grief, out on some lowlife? Theron considered; maybe.

Suddenly, another notification came through on Theron’s implants. The Defender was seeking permission to land at the Jedi dock here on Coruscant.

Of course! The journey back to the core from wild space was long. If they’d been travelling through hyperspace this whole time, they’d have been unable to use comms. Maybe Seren was on board! Maybe it hadn’t been her voice ordering the evacuation just before the ship was destroyed, this Corporal barely knew her after all! Theron stuck out his hand and hailed one of the taxis whizzing past overhead and headed to the spaceport to meet the Defender. 

Please let her be on board. Theron begged desperately inside his own head. Please. I’ll do anything. I’ll never leave her side again. Ever.

Chapter 12

The Defender’s crew was disembarking as Theron arrived at the landing pad. He couldn’t see Seren. Maybe she’s still inside? He reasoned desperately to himself. He knew, he knew, that that wasn’t true, but he wanted to cling on to that last desperate glimmer of hope for a few more moments.

Kira suddenly turned and spotted him, probably having sensed him through the Force, he realised, and her face tightened, red-rimmed eyes narrowing as she regarded him. She nudged Doc, the first time Theron had ever seen her touch the man. He and the rest of the crew turned to regard Theron, none of them speaking.

Kira broke the silence, “Come to get your ship? That was fast.” 

Her voice was harsh with suppressed rage, and her words made no sense to Theron. 

Kira must have seen the confusion in his face, as she continued, “You’re the sole beneficiary of her will. Didn’t you know?” She suddenly swept into a low exaggerated bow, “Welcome to your new ship, your lordship, I’m sorry we didn’t have time to clean the floors.” Her grief made her usual sardonic sarcasm excoriatingly vicious.

Theron physically flinched when he understood what she was telling him. He unconsciously stepped back, holding up his hands in denial. “I don’t want her ship Kira, I want…” he swallowed then continued shakily, “Are you… sure? I mean, did you see..?”

“No we didn’t see, but if you think we didn’t go back to check, didn’t look for her? How fucking… dare you?” Kira broke off and looked away, blinking back tears.

Theron was visibly close to tears himself, but Doc had no sympathy for him, given how he’d treated Seren after Ziost. “Still…” he drawled, “at least now you’ll be able to focus on your job.”

Theron swallowed a gasp of shock at the horrible truth of Doc’s jibe, but unfortunately for him, Doc wasn’t finished yet.

“At least you’ll be able to keep working for the SIS rather than joining Seren to raise your child on the Defender.” Doc said.

Theron was unable to formulate a thought, let alone a response, for several moments. 

“A child?” he eventually said angrily, “What child? Seren’s not… she wasn’t pregnant, she would have told me. And why the hells would she confide in you anyway?”

“She didn’t confide in me, genius! I’m her… I was her doctor.” Doc told Theron.

“She did confide in me, Theron, and it’s true.” Kira’s tone of voice was calmer and more even now, but it certainly wasn’t kind. “That’s why she asked you to join her on the Defender, not so you could be her sidekick.” 

Theron flinched again at the reminder of what he’d said to Seren, how he’d spoken to her.

“And thanks for the insight into your level of respect for the rest of us who did decide to join her crew, I guess.” finished Kira.

Theron’s head was swimming with shock, he hardly heard Kira’s jibe. “But why didn’t she tell me?” he said forlornly.

Kira gave a short bitter laugh, then said, “You know what else she confided in me about Theron? How she felt having to beg her boyfriend to show the tiniest bit of care that she almost died on Ziost, the tiniest bit of affection. You couldn’t even be bothered to stick around on Carrick Station long enough to go for a quick drink with her! When was she supposed to tell you? And how do you think that conversation would have gone, anyway?” 

Kira shook her head and spoke into Theron’s silence, “You know what? Doc’s right, Seren being gone is going to work out better for you. For your career. Now, unless you want the ship, I think you should go. There’s nothing for you here, and we’re needed for a meeting at the Senate.”

Theron looked at Seren’s crew, her ‘sidekicks’ as he’d so dismissively put it; Kira and Doc visibly grieving, Scourge and Rusk staring at him with impassive stoicism, and turned to leave. As he did so he heard a mournful series of beeps from T7. The astromech wheeled over to him, and somehow Theron somehow found himself crouching down to the droid and patting him comfortingly, blinking back tears. 

“T7 go with spy. T7 rejoin SIS. T7 + spy = find who killed Jedi.” 

Theron looked up questioningly at Kira.

She shrugged, “T7 is his own droid as far as I’m concerned, and like I told you, he’s your property now; everything is.”

Minutes later, Theron found himself in a taxi, T7 at his side. He took a deep breath, switched on his communicator, programmed in Director Trant’s frequency, and hit connect. He would find out who had killed Seren, and then he’d make them pay.

#swtor #theron shan #swtor jedi knight #swtor oc #my ocs #my writing #fanfic #star wars the old republic #angst #established couple #kira carsen #Doc kimble #T7

[otakween]

Digimon Tamers - Volume 2

It turns out this series is super out of print and rare. My library only has the first 2 volumes, so I'll be reading the rest after this one online (if you want to buy it it's like $80-$100 per volume!) It's a little bit of a relief honestly, because the volume that I got from the library is pretty crusty and battered. I think I saw some dried shredded cheese on some of the pages 🤢 Really shows who the audience is.

Ch. 8

This manhua has really bad continuity and no sense of space. Characters will just pop out of nowhere. Culumon is the worst offender, but in this chapter there were a bunch of dramatic scenes between Rika and Renamon and then it just randomly turned out that Takato and Jian were watching the whole time but not saying anything? Riiiight.

I was really confused at the end and thought that Yamaki was saying he created a digimon but it was actually a really clumsy flashback to the original digimon programmers. Confusing panels...

Ch 9

Wow, the Devas arc already, it obviously felt like it took a lot longer to get here in the anime. I wonder if they'll do all the Devas or condense them/do some off screen?

At least one thing that's nice about this manga is that I can take in the Devas designs without them jumping around too much.

Ch. 10

Some of these jokes are flying over my head. Takato tries to name his group of friends "team rock" and he mentions "a skinny guy on TV who talks about the power of positive thinking." I wish they would cut out the unfunny, outdated material and just tell the damn story >:/

Worst boys Hirokazu and Kenta show up to reestablish themselves as part of the party...yaaay

Didn't realize that MegaloGrowmon was called WarGrowlmon in the dub. I guess it is kind of nice to keep the naming conventions more consistent. "Megalo" is sort of a weird prefix (megalomania?)

Ch. 11

I'm still obsessed with Jian's computer that can read trading cards as if they were CD-ROMs. I wish that technology existed!

Two perfect evolutions in one chapter? Pretty rushed but okay...they still looked cool. (Taomon and Rapidmon). I think the Wonderswan card game rot my brain a little cuz when I saw Rapidmon I was thinking about all the option cards I could use with him.

Ch. 12

Other than my fave Antylamon, I think Indramon is the most memorable of all the devas. His design is really unique, he's massive, and he kicks the shit outta Impmon. I like his emo hair too lol

When they realize that Hirokazu's homemade blue card works I'm surprised they didn't move onto a counterfeit card making scheme after that. I just it only works if it was made with pure intentions or something.

Ch. 13

Why is Juri's dub name "Jeri" when "Julie" was right there?

Damn, they really killed any suspense with Makuramon's intro there. In the anime he's presented as a kid at first but here they showed him as a kid but then slapped the name tag "Makuramon" right next to him...

They skipped a bunch because Juri just magically knows that Guilmon exists. They showed Hirokazu and Kenta meeting him, but not her. Oh well, I guess.

Ch. 14

Calling Juri, Hirokazu and Kenta "groupies" is pretty funny, not gonna lie. So accurate.

I like that they're clearly ID-ing each deva as its corresponding zodiac animal. I think there was a little bit of that in the anime, but not as spelled out as it is here. Usually I don't like to be spoon fed, but there's something satisfying about them saying "that's the boar, that's the monkey, etc."

#digimon #digimon tamers #manga