#*sighs* fine... I'll do it myself...

[chungmyungenthusiast]

Banter

Notes I Pure fluff maybe + chung myung content ?!?! woah.. keep in mind that this is not edited and checked :3

Chung Myung will never let you live this down. No way. Especially when he, quite literally, had you pinned down. "Give up yet?" He asks, his tone teasing as he looks down at you with that shit-eating grin he knows you have a hate-love relationship with. God, you want to wipe that grin off his face so bad. "Love," You start, your tone seemingly pleading as you look up at him. The one and only Mount Hua's Divine Dragon, Chung Myung, swore he could explode at any given moment. And while that normally is a threat to the other disciples, it means something else now. Slowly but surely, you lean closer to him. You then pout, "Please.." A kiss, then you turn the tables on him. For a split second, he was caught off-guard with that kiss; you didn't waste any time switching your positions. How cute he looks when he's under you. "I'll kiss you, okay? So please, keep your voice down."

Notes II Chung Myung deserves all of the kisses and hugs in the world.

#we're back ?? #who knows #take this as an apology for my.. very long break :D #sigh #I'm sorry for the long wait :( #I was just going through some chung myung fics and realized that there isn't much.. #“fine I'll do it myself” moment #uhm anyways #all hail chung myung!!! #my beloved cm.. #might be ooc actually #genuinely don't know I haven't caught up on the novel yet #yaoki writes :] #return of the blossoming blade #return of the mount hua sect #rotmhs #rotbb #chung myung #cheong myeong #he's so ugh #my silly guy #chung myung x reader #cheong myeong x reader #am I missing something else #fluff #just teasing then a whole kissing session #borderline making out lowkey #ok gn #rei will probably take care of this blog from now #seij will go honkshoomimimi

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere #i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art #but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely #certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like #university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government #i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour #party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead #also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be #idk #it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking #also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most #part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it? #ik therapists have therapists but still #i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going #the way i wanna #I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life #if not then gap year to work it out #should probably look at unis for english language too then #sigh #ucas website i may as well marry you #ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol) #yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up #yeah #shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical #they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices #crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love. #sex jokes about that #why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine #bue waffling #vent post

[kindheartedgummybears]

this is...

this is........

this is bullshi-

#GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #CLAWS AT MYSELF ROLLSS ON THE GROUND RUNNING ON THE ROOF CRYS IN THE BATHROOM #BURST INTO A WEREWOLF FROM THE QUARRY #GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR #and MOST OF THEM ARE JUST BACKGROUND SHIPS TO JALIM FIC #AND ONE OF THEM ISNT EVEN CLARACHEL?????? ONE OF THE FICS ARE LEGIT A JASON/CLARICE S M U T F I C #😭😭😭😭😭 #*sighs* fine... I'll do it myself... #once i finish my jerin oneshots of course!! #halloween is coming around i might try to write one of my werewolf fics for them... #Rachel King #Clarice Stokes #Clarachel #</3 #Clarice x Rachel #Rachel x Clarice #</3333 #they <3333

[vse-kar-vem]

how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on #either way #im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔 #if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me #again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg #i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever #but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do #and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying #like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative #but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me #oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you #but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't #like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it) #i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable! #fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it #and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier #of my friendships #wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up #the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom) #i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a #'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order #not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i #may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me ! #sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭 #vee rambles

[theprophetsaid]

Randomly losing it a little over Save Me this evening...

#musings // #the backstory of that song is still the single most insane thing I've ever heard in my life #brian saw freddie was heartbroken and went 'this is my problem too actually' and 'he needs to be made love to ffs' #brian 24/7 @ the universe: 'will someone show freddie how loved he is???' *sigh* 'fine I'll do it myself IN A SONG' #and then jim came along and he could fucking EXHALE finally

[heartshattering]

they should invent a nighttime that doesn't make OCD worse

#at least it's not just me according to a quick search I did #but still ughhhhhh #I know what I need to do to cope but then when I'm in the moment it feels like I'm literally dying #I would get into more detail but explaining the stuff that goes through my head sounds so ridiculous like ????? #I know I already did [action] so there's no need for me to get out of bed and repeat it 20+ times before I let myself sleep! #I... I don't do that during the daytime... because that would feel ridiculous and irrational #but Nighttime Brain is like “you gotta” #don't try to reason with OCD because it Does Not Care! :') #the fact I'm able to recognize how ridiculous this is should be comforting #but like I said in the moment all my mind wants to do is convince me that tonight is the night I'm gonna die #and that it's all my fault and that I've ruined everything #I would not wish this on anyone #(except as a free trial to those people who say they want OCD when they don't really understand how much it sucks to deal with it) #sigh #anyway it's only 3 PM but I'm already dreading nighttime so that's why this popped into my mind #I'll be fine

[twig---verginix]

god if no one else got me. i know the drawn to life soundtrack got me.

#how much of adulthood is just fucking up paperwork? and finding out months later how badly you fucked it up? #and trying to determine the fewest amount of people you need to share that with in order to fix it? #inside of me there is a cartoony priest and a cartoony criminal and they are both trying SO hard to spare me the indignities of living #by threatening to shoot me dead if i fuck up one more time. swear to god. #i love doing everything right the first time forever. also i love getting away with things and never having to apologize for anything ever. #but see. i also love being a normal person with a job and proportionate emotional reactions. im sure you can see the conflict. #im sure you can see why im listening to history's best video game soundtrack right now. #but LE SIGH its Fine no one's Dead. it's FINE i'll figure it out TOMORROW or FRIDAY better that i noticed now instead of tomorrow evening #and im sure worse fuckups have happened etc. etc. #and if they FIRE ME i will throw myself into pizzamaking and failed authorship. as my chosen careers. backup plan see #AUGH. ANYWAY.

[ghoul-haunted]

oh my god why didn't I use standard black for trikaranos what kind of fuckass creative decision making was I pulling with the prologue

#me @ myself: you MOTHERFUCKER we have to reformat some of this now #(head in hands) (sighing) its fine. i'll add it to the official color palette and make a note that i should do this for other comics too #might as well make it a signature move

[arcadian-vampire]

Woopsie,, 4am breakdown, I think I didn't muffle my silly goofy sobs quite enough, because after a lil bit my mom startled awake and was like 'who's calling for me?? are you okay???? what do you need??'

I had to go reassure her that everything is all good, no one was yelling her name, it's 4am just go back to sleepies, there are two (2) cats in your bed who need sleepy snuggles,

She told me she must've dreamt about someone needing her help, and she woke up heart pounding ready to fly out of bed. rip

#pikaposts #i sound so stupid when i cry it's fucking. high-pitched wails caught between silent shuddering gasps #do you know how hard it is to cover up those high-pitched wails!!! i'm out here practically suffocating myself with my bedding #i'm fine btw i'm just 22 and lamenting my lost health. you know how it is #can barely walk into the kitchen these days and am grappling with a Decision that's pretty. humiliating to me. #like it shouldn't be! it happens with disabled people sometimes! but if i agree to it i just know i won't be able to look at it #i'll have to like. cover it with a towel or something. and there's no way i'll be able to set things up myself so #i'm just. gonna have to embarrassingly rely on my mom I guess. #i say 'if i agree to it' but really i'm kind of out of other options. i can't manage things all on my own #bc something is wrong with me! and nobody here can quite piece it together #everybody throws around 'ehlers-danlos syndrome' but nobody here knows what it Means or what to do about it #i have to move to a different state asap because i need access to more advanced health care. sigh #but 'asap' is shaping up to be. next year maybe. i have to stay here for another year or so.

[kickassfu]

...gonna go try to sleep

doubt the anxiety will actually let me

but its 2am wtf am i supposed to do

ffs

#just because someone asked me to take responsibility for work tomorrow #like the bosses and the 2 ppl that subsitute the bosses #pls i'm only there working other ppl's vacations #don't give me responsibility 😭 #but she asked me #and i couldnt say no #she deserves a day off #and the boss is coming back thursday #i swear to fuck if my colleagues dont help me properly and expect me to work the same as the bosses do i'll riot #and if someone starts making comments i'll fucking explode #i'm so tired of certain ppl i'm gonna throw myself out of a fucking window #shit sucks #i bet things will be fine and i'm just making a mountain out of an ant hill #but anxiety is a bitch and so am i #wtv #ignore this #i just needed to rant so maybe it'll help me calm down and sleep #*sigh*

[vitanithepure]

Lae'zel is straight up not having a good time in the creche.

Vitani is worried, but the boys seem pretty chill about it.

#well she did want it so badly... #*sigh* anyone gonna get her out of it? no...? #fine I'll do it myself #OC:Vitani #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

[peanutblowandjobsandwich]

ok so they switched the start of the orientation from 10 to 9:30 but tht mere half an hr means i hv to leave with my mother i can't take the bus on my own which i wld hv preferred bc the calm of being on my own wld be necessary to relieve my anxiety but instead i hv to be with my mother who is already beginning to stress me out and like omg i really hope she doesnt make me change my outfit tomorrow it's right on my knees which esp for my height is appropriate plz stop being so old fashioned n leave me alone cri i'm not even stressed out but she's stressing me out asking me stupid nonsense tht's not even relevant bc like why are you telling me make sure i hv xyz in my bag when they are my meds tht i need all the time n wldve been carrying to uni which u nvr told me to so duh wldnt i obvi pack it omg leave me alone eek

#also she's making such a fuss yes i understand the safety concerns and the distance etc #but she's literally going on a vacation with her friends next week #so she's not going to be in the country next mon n tues so wtf does she think i'm going to do #not find my way myself??? #she's like i'll wait bck every afternoon for u #um wht ok first week fine #but the 2nd week ur literally not going to be in the country so after tht when i wldve found my way myself #there's literally no exuse to be with me all the time ugh #i want a job to get away from these ppl #n since my mother is usually working she's usually the least arnd n still it's a lot #i do not want to hv to spend more time with her just bc i hv a job #n my commute time are my fav zone out calm hrs #she'll ruin it screams #i think the only good thing at least is tht i'm most certainly on my own on mornings #but i'm not even too sure sigh #ugh #just leave me alone b4 i get overwhelmed n go evil again sigh #cloud nonsense

[aggressive-almond-cookie]

Move It Move It Station is making me cry.

#splatoon #aiko plays squid games #octo expansion #what makes it worse is that technically I have it completed #only because the person sitting next to me when I was struggling with it last week wanted to try #and proceeded to beat it in two tries #but I still need to beat it myself for my own knowledge that I can do it #it just feels really wrong to me to have someone else's accomplishments on my save lol #so now I just feel even worse that I have dumped 10k credits into this and not once have I even survived to the halfway point #realistically it doesn't help that I'm running on low sleep though #and I'm probably emotionally compromised because I can't stop comparing myself to other people and feeling worse about it #sigh #I was feeling so confident yesterday I'm certain this is just brain chemicals #which makes it worse because every time I have to be reminded that my well-being is controlled by random chemicals #I just feel really helpless and that I will never have any control over my life anyway so what's the point #but I also know I'll be fine once I get more sleep and a decent meal #my brain is just too busy throwing a pity party to let me sleep and it's frustrating

[mainfaggot]

Dressing like a girly girl is like doing drag to me and also. A bit chest dysphoria inducing

#actually felt less dysphoric than expected while trying on super feminine party outfits #basically I'm going to a dinner party this weekend (against my will) (my parents and i compromised so I'll go but only stay an hour) #and my mom was like you cant dress tge way u usually do you look gay etc etc #so im gonna wear this super tight cropped shirt with high waisted slacks and an oversized button up on top #also stud earrings in both ears bc my mom thinks its gay when i wear one. shes right thats the point #and a necklace. and (sighs) a little kate spade hand bag #its actually a very cute outfit but not for ME to wear #i would like. style a really feminine friend that way but not myself #anyway i dont hate it entirely but i dont like it either but its fine bc my chest will be half covered by the button up anyway and my mom #is letting me go barefaced thank GOD #pride month starts and so do the trials and tribulations of being gender fucked #z.post

[wonderfulxhappiness]

i get told "you choose what to do" and then get yelled at for choosing what to do

#vent in tags #and apparently the drive is /two and a half hours/ not one :) i'm going to fucking kill myself if my dad makes me drive that distance #i can barely handle driving 30min to see my mom! i'm not doing TWO AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS at 6 IN THE GODDAMN MORNING after waking up at #5am! i hate this fucking house #and i'm gonna struggle the entire day bc those assholes walk super fast and i struggle to keep up in the best of times #i'll get worked like a fucking dog and then yelled at for not being able to keep up #god what if i just drop out and run away to rural canada? #whatever. we made it work. i can't do anything right i guess :) #'oh you watched a webinar on the residence halls so it's fine' fuck off i want to know /what/ they look like PROPERLY #i hate being told to choose bc no matter what i choose it's fucking wrong. just tell me what to do ffs. #sigh. i hate being alive.

[slipper007]

🫠

#im sorry for how much I've been venting on here but things are shitty and hate burdening people with it #to delete #im applying for grad school now and I asked my parents very carefully if they'd be helping me with application fees or if i was on my own #and I made sure that I didn't imply that I expected it. i made sure i worded it so that it was fine if they didn't want to or couldn't. #and I made sure I brought it up when everything was calm and there were no stressors or anything. #and I just got an exasperated sigh and even before they said anything it was over. literally just say you don't want to pay. it's fine. #don't sit there and tell me my grades are great but you don't want to waste your money. that feels so much worse than just being told no. #it feels like they don't believe I'll get in and it's not worth the effort to find out. #and honestly they're probably right. I'm a wreck lately. finishing my applications feels insurmountable. #finding the money to go even if I get accepted is impossible. and that feels awful because I know so many people getting free rides already #it's just like high school all over again. everyone's practically getting paid to go to one of their top schools and then there's me. #stressed about application fees #stressed about what on earth I'll do if they say no #stressed about how I cannot afford this without loans and being in debt. #i just. i hate this. i hate myself. my applications look like shit. the recommendation I've gotten back is literally shit. #i already know I'm not gonna do well in the quote unquote adult world and honestly this is just proving it to me #i literally haven't felt like me since junior year of high school and i don't know what to do and there's just no time to rest #and no time to put my all into anything #im doing school and 10 hours of work per week with free weekends and i can't rest already #how the fuck am I going to do school and 30+ hours a week of work and make rent and commute and agh #i feel so behind and so inferior and so fucking shitty all the time and there's nothing to fucking do about it #hhhhhhh #and nobody gets it. least of all me.