theprophetsaid

[theprophetsaid]

please spill more of your thoughts about harold may

*cracks knuckles*

Based on everything Brian has said, it seems as if Harold had a certain idea of what he wanted his son to be, namely a traditional patriarch (the husband, the father, the head of the family) with an academic education. This is the role that Harold himself had (For instance, Brian has talked about Harold not allowing his wife to obtain a driver's license), and he wanted Brian to follow in his footsteps. This isn't uncommon, of course, but it evidently was a lot of pressure for Brian to shoulder, especially as an only child.

Brian has talked at length about Harold disapproving of his putting aside his education to focus on Queen - disapproving to the point where he refused to speak to him for a long time! And economic insecurity wasn't the issue here. The problem was, as Brian has said, that Harold himself had been "forced" to give up his musical dreams to settle down with his family. So, basically, he just resented Brian for being able to follow a dream he himself had to lay to rest. I think this is incredibly messed up. As a parent, you should want your child to achieve their dreams instead of actively blaming them for trying. (It's also worth noting that this might be the reason why Brian didn't fully consider his musical career a "worthy job" until he was in his fucking fifties/sixties!)

There's also the issue of marriage. I think there's enough evidence to suggest that Brian wouldn't have married his first wife if he hadn't been eager to please his father. He said in an interview with Howard Stern (while talking about his first marriage) that he felt he'd tried to "live the dreams of his parents" instead of doing "what he actually wanted to do," and that says it all, I think. The values imposed on him by his father kept him from living the life he really wanted for himself.

And then, of course, I have to be controversial and say that Brian has expressed feelings of shame related to "issues with" his "heterosexuality" that I can't help thinking are also connected to the way he was raised and the values he's internalized. I mean, there's a tape of Brian in his late fifties openly stating that he sees beauty "not only in women (...) in things I've been insulated from in the past," heavily implying that he's been prevented from recognizing his own attraction to men, specifically because of or by something. So there's also that.

(tl; dr: Harold May imposed rigid traditions and values based on his own failings onto Brian, which instilled in him feelings of shame and worthlessness, in relation to his marriage, his profession, and his sexuality).

#answered // #like i said... i'm not holding back on this blog anymore #so this is what you get :)

[theprophetsaid]

Miss you writing so much!!

Ooh, I'm so sorry :(

It's been difficult to stay motivated with uni, work, and other interests that demand my attention, especially when the engagement on creations is so low in this fandom. I really appreciate the love on my fics, but it must also be acknowledged that the Queen "ficdom" is incredibly small, and at the end of the day I felt like I was spending many hours on something that very few people interacted with.

But, who knows? I might get back to it. The Maycury bug is definitely still there.

#answered //

[theprophetsaid]

To this day, it makes me sad that Brian has such unconditional love for a father who resented his success to the point where he literally refused to speak to him. Please. Any child deserves better than that.

#musings // #godd i have so many Thoughts about harold may #people don't talk about how little support brian had

[theprophetsaid]

Those people frankly just hate Brian tbh and half of them claim it's just one sided adoration, to those people I present random things on the top of my head soul brothers, Freddie calling Brian his Jimi Hendrix, their pre John base player going "Freddie and Brian had more faith in each other than they had in themselves" there's more but I have to remember that lol

Yeah! There are the people who just blatantly hate Brian, and then there are people who act like Freddie wasn't openly obsessed with Brian, especially in the early Smile days.

Freddie invited him to his parents' house (even though he was embarrassed about living with them) so they could listen to records together, and Freddie was like, "We're gonna be a group!" He wanted to be in a band with Brian so badly. And yes, I'm reading between the lines here, but it's not far-fetched since—as you point out—Freddie literally claimed him ("You're my Jimi Hendrix").

Perhaps this is controversial (and no offense to Rog), but I think it was mainly Brian's musicianship that drew Freddie to Smile in the first place.

#answered //

[theprophetsaid]

I think it's funny that people have accused Brian of projecting onto Freddie whenever he's spoken about his mental state and struggles in a way that goes against people's headcanons, while Freddie literally trusted Brian to put words in his mouth to express his serious emotions in songs like "Save Me" and "Show Must Go On" lol

#one of the most embarrassing takes out there and ppl are so loud about it too

[theprophetsaid]

Your tags on the post reminded me of a Brian interview I saw a while ago which was in 1992 , it was Brian basically saying the same thing about how since Freddie has now gone he finds himself willing to accept Freddie's influence on him in a way he didn't while Freddie was still alive.

That also, looking back may colour memories differently now. Not even in a bad way just thinking about how if he could go back he would verbalize his appreciation more. View some moments with a kinder lens.

Yeah... It's very bittersweet that grief always gives you more perspective. I know it's a cliché, but it's true. People often don't understand what they have until they lose it. This also makes me think about Brian's first album and how he acknowledged that "there were pieces of Freddie all over it."

It seems Brian struggled to make music when Freddie wasn't at the heart of it. As I've said before, Freddie was Brian's muse in so many ways. It's really a lot to think about.

#answered //

[theprophetsaid]

“They tell me that I can’t play the guitar, and I wholeheartedly agree, I tell you." 

Brian in the background, giggling: "That’s right!”. 

Freddie: “I only know four fucking chords on this thing, and I’m going to try and include them in this next song. Are you ready?”

Providence - August 26, 1980 - (x)

#brian 40 years later: 'actually freddie wasn't bad at the guitar' #something something about how loss softens the heart #something something about how love erases flaws #something something about admiration growing in absence #*screams*

[theprophetsaid]

Sometimes I think about how Brian ran to write queer lyrics as soon as Freddie came out and I lose my mind a wee bit.

The Maycury effect 😂 I literally cannot normally listen to Dreamer's ball now without going this is technically Freddie singing about Brian.. and technically Brian wrote it for Freddie..

(Also can we talk about how Brian was able to capture the raw emotions of a queer man so well and write astonishing lyrics about it. Cos.. yeah.)

Personally, I think Dreamer's Ball is underrated. I love the vibe of it, and I love that it's one of the first songs that Brian wrote with Freddie in mind. I can imagine Freddie loved it, too. I can't explain why, but the song feels like him.

And yes! We can talk about it. I've always found that really interesting as well. It says a lot that he'd choose to do it in the first place, but the fact that he actually nails it is quite... wild. Especially since Brian's said they never talked about Freddie's sexuality in the band. So how exactly did he get it, huh? 👀

I'm thinking about Fat Bottomed Girls as well. Brian chose to write about Freddie's preferences because he'd observed them. I know the fandom doesn't like to ask these questions, but it's so fascinating to me that Brian continually sat down and thought about the men Freddie was sleeping with. What they looked like. How they treated him. How it made Freddie feel emotionally.

It's such insane behavior, I can't believe it's real.

#answered // #i need to tell brian about the wonders of bisexuality fr fr

[theprophetsaid]

Chapters: 31/? Fandom: Queen (Band), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Brian May/Freddie Mercury, Winnie Kirchberger/Freddie Mercury Characters: Brian May, Freddie Mercury, Peter “Phoebe” Freestone, Paul Prenter, Roger Taylor (Queen), John Deacon, Winnie Kirchberger Additional Tags: POV Alternating, Mutual Pining, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, References to Depression, Protective Brian May, Eventual Happy Ending, (the following won’t happen between Brian and Freddie!), Cheating, Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Emotional Abuse

  Summary:

Maybe Brian could keep his mouth shut and stop worrying about Freddie’s love life and the people who hung around him in Munich, if he thought he was actually happy.

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Not much left, everyone, but please enjoy the rest of the fic while it lasts <3 There’s talk about Women In Love in this chapter (if you know, you know)

#gonna catch up on this fic during the weekend #i feel like fieldwork got me completely out of the maycury loop :( #fic rec

[theprophetsaid]

Do you think that Brian and Freddie actually did something?

Like if something was actually happened between them in one point or another?

No, I don't. Don't get me wrong — they had enough chemistry to make me Wonder (👀) about it when it was first introduced to the band. And while I do think there was at least some mutual attraction between them, I'm not sure they were aware of it. And I'm certain that they wouldn't have wanted to acknowledge or act on it. For obvious reasons.

ask me anything

#answered //

[theprophetsaid]

I've had a shitty day and feel like being controversial so I'm gonna say this: Freddie and Brian had the deepest emotional connection within Queen.

#musings // #and no i wouldn't be saying this if people weren't constantly Unserious about it

[theprophetsaid]

it's so irritating to me when people claim that brian is making up/exaggerating how close he was with freddie... just because there's not as many explicit quotes from freddie on brian and these people can't read between the lines or do any sort of research for themselves. brian's love for freddie shines through every word he speaks about that man, and somehow a group of random kids can't believe that brian was close with freddie before they ever made it with their music and when they were just good friends with a dream.

of course brian isn't perfect (e.g. his comments on how queen would be forced to have a transgender member if they had formed today, him being against the brit awards getting rid of gendered categories), but to call him racist and homophobic is such a low and baseless accusation.

in any case, i feel that brian is more (and honestly a bit validly) against the jumping to conclusions and forced righteousness that some people take up rather than diversity itself. i get the sense even that he's a bit against the modern categorizing when for him, it was very natural to work with freddie and to love him for who he was without much thought (quote: "He was a musician, he was our friend, he was our brother. We didn’t have to stop and think: ‘Ooh, now, should we work with him? Is he the right color? Is he the right sexual proclivity?’ None of that happened, and now I find it frightening that you have to be so calculating about everything."). of course i see the world a bit differently, but brian comes from a very different time and background.

he's always been a great supporter of the lgbtq community, championed aids awareness, and truly loved and understood freddie's strengths and insecurities. it literally drives me crazy when people say there's no evidence that freddie liked brian or was close to him.

I'll keep this very brief.

Anyone who denies that Freddie and Brian were close friends who loved each other is a spiteful clown. Their connection has nothing to do with Brian's unfortunate tendency of putting his foot in his mouth from time to time (mind you, Freddie had no filter at all). And this tendency doesn't undermine his decades-long advocacy for AIDS victims and queer rights.

#answered //

[theprophetsaid]

“Further, I'll say this is one of those quotes I read once and go: "Yep, that's a queer man." “

I completely agree here. There is no way this man is fully heterosexual. Especially considering that moment when he said he struggled with his heterosexuality and that he’d come to allow himself to see beauty in “other places.” Like, babes please you have to see this too. It can’t just be me.

Yeah, I do.

Brian: "I've had many struggles with my heterosexuality. I find myself open to many types of beauty. Haha, this man wanted to sleep with me and I ran away from him after saying I'd fuck him if I were gay. There were so many pretty boys on tour. Also, I met this man once and I was so scared of "liking it" with him that I wrote a song that turned into a breakdown album :))))"

This fandom: ((broken gaydar noises))

In all seriousness, I'm not saying this to make fun of anyone. I'm saying this because so many people go around acting like Brian is an oblivious Straight™ who has no clue about Freddie's sexuality and is borderline queerphobic. And there are also just so many people who wilfully misread him as some sort of confused, silly old man who's "too emotional" about Freddie.

Freddie was Brian's biggest hero. The bravest man he ever knew (his words). Freddie was someone who dared be what Brian didn't feel safe enough to be.

So the fandom can miss me with its bullshit. This actually matters.

#answered // #i really came back to this blog swinging huh? #the gloves are OFF

[theprophetsaid]

Please speak 👀 I wanna hear your thoughts

I just... can't with Brian sometimes. He'll just casually say the most insane shit I've ever heard (often about Freddie) and then act like it's nothing. Because to him it is. Because his thoughts about Freddie really are that insane. Like, what do you mean you love seeing how his muscles work??? Every breath he takes??? What do you mean???

I got an ask once that said 'Brian talks about Freddie as if he's in love with him.'

Yes, he does. I think most people can see that. The comment about how healthy and fit he looks, how his body and muscles move, how his beloved moustache works, how he breathes. The way Brian describes him is so intimate, you'd think they'd been married for 20 years. It's something I really can't unsee.

Further, I'll say this is one of those quotes I read once and go: "Yep, that's a queer man."

I'm not gonna apologize for that "assumption" at this point. Shoot me idc.

#answered //

[theprophetsaid]

They added more dates for Queen Rock Montreal so you should go if you can!!

#brian may #if i speak............

[theprophetsaid]

Curious to get your take on Freddie & Brian's songwriting partnership in comparison to Lennon-McCartney's. I was reading an article that said Lennon-McCarney tastes and personalities complemented each other, which is why they were so successful in writing together. Freddie and Brian not so much, we know they had very different personalities, but one could argue that they were closer and trusted each other more than John & Paul . (1 of 2 )

(2 of 2) At times, I think Brian doesn't realize how much Freddie cherished him. The early albums were really 50% freddie, 50% brian. Yes, Freddie was a musical genius but so is Brian. Crazy that Brian describes himself as an 'occasional songwriter'. Half of the Queen catalogue is him! And his guitar work is impeccable <3

-------------------

Yeah, those early albums really were Freddie and Brian’s work. I don't think Brian thinks highly of himself as a songwriter, which is funny, because people accuse him of being an egomaniac 🙄

It's also really funny that Brian and Freddie have this weird reputation for hating each other when Freddie wrote a song that was literally like, "Brian is my best friend, my champion, he can do anything, he's somebody you can love, he's my soul brother." Meanwhile, Lennon wrote a diss track about McCartney lmao

I think Freddie and Brian’s personalities were similar in ways that mattered. They both had quiet, reflective sides, were hopeless romantics (and total hot messes with love), and were pretty sensitive. They weren't shallow fuckboys, despite others in their line of work and what Phoebe people sometimes say about Freddie. I think that's why Brian was not only able to write serious emotions from Freddie's perspective ("Save Me", "The Show Must Go On"), but that Freddie trusted Brian to literally put words in his mouth about his own feelings, too. I'm sorry but McLennon's songwriting partnership has nothing on "Save Me" alone lol. Freddie started riffing, "save me" over Brian’s guitar, and Brian went, "Ahhh, gotcha, I need to write a song about how you rent out your soul in one-night stands and you're naked and far from home." Top 5 lunatic behavior (affectionate)

#maycury #they were so insane i love them your honor <3 #and pls lennon-mccartney is QUAKING

[theprophetsaid]

Sometimes I think about how Brian ran to write queer lyrics as soon as Freddie came out and I lose my mind a wee bit.

#musings // #like my man was READY