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catmiemy · 2 days

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Another Chance to Live Part 2 (Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader)

Summary: Ana has to play against her former club with your former team. You do your best to support each other and slowly become closer.

Part 1

A/N: It took me a bit longer to re-read and edit this than I thought since it made me emotional because of another transfer that I'm still in denial about 😭

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next part. I'm always happy to hear what you think or what you'd like to see in this story.

Just like you had hoped, Ana and you continued to hang out regularly. In fact you spent most of your days off together and even met up fairly often in the evenings, relaxing either at her or your apartment. More often than not you still couldn’t believe your luck that the Swiss woman actually liked being around you too.

You made sure to steer away from any deep topics though, keeping in mind that Ana preferred when you offered distractions when she seemed unhappy. It wasn’t always easy for you because you wanted to know everything about her and you longed to comfort the blonde when she looked at you with sad eyes. However you understood that she had other people, better friends, that she could talk these things over with.

On the other hand Ana with her sweet and caring nature always asked how you were doing and offered to listen to your problems the moment she picked up that something was bothering you. The desire to tell her everything was almost unbearable at times. You wanted to unload all the things weighing on your heart , well maybe not everything, you would never reveal your feelings for her, but other things like the situation at your club or with your family.

However you didn’t. You successfully kept yourself from spilling your sorrows to Ana. For one you didn’t want to burden the Swiss woman with your problems, she had enough going on without you adding to it. And also you didn’t want her to know that she was the only person you would actually feel comfortable opening up to. It was a painful reminder that Ana was so much more important to you than you were to her.

A few days before Atlético was due to play Barcelona in Madrid the two of you were hanging out again. You had cooked some food together and then settled down in front of the TV for the night. You could tell that the Swiss woman was having a hard time focusing on the show you were watching, even though she had picked it.

Ana kept sighing quietly and glancing over at you. You in turn did your best to distract her, offering up your thoughts about what you were seeing on TV. It was getting increasingly difficult not to ask the blonde what was going on.

‘She prefers a distraction. She doesn’t want to talk about it, at least not with you. What she wants from you is a distraction, so try to find some interesting or funny things to say for crying out loud!’ You reminded yourself over and over again.

You were searching your brain to find something good to say when Ana broke the silence. “Can I ask you something?” She asked timidly.

The insecurity in Ana’s voice took you by surprise, that was really unlike her. But you didn’t dwell on it; instead you quickly assured the Swiss woman that she could always ask you anything.

“Okay, so…It’s not really a question but a favor. And it’s totally fine for you to say no, don’t feel bad at all if you say no! Especially because it puts you in a bit of an awkward situation. You know what, I’m just now realizing how stupid and selfish this is and I just changed my mind.”

You reached out to place your hand on Ana’s thigh, hoping to comfort and calm the clearly agitated woman this way.

“Hey, don’t worry. Just ask me. I have no doubt that the answer will be yes,” you encouraged her.

There wasn’t a single thing you could think of that you wouldn’t do for Ana. Well maybe there were some things, most of them illegal in one way or another, but you doubted that the Swiss woman was going to ask for any of them.

Ana took a deep breath before rushing out her request, “Would you come watch our game this week? The idea of seeing all of my former teammates again really hurts and it would help me so much if I knew you were there. I understand that it’s a lot to ask because my team is your former team, so like I said…”

„Yes, of course I’ll come, it’s the least I can do,” you interrupted the Swiss woman.

Sure you weren’t too keen on going back to Atlético’s stadium and see all of your former teammates play together without you, but the simple fact that Ana asked you to come and even said it would help her, was enough to forget all about that. Who cared if it would make you a little sad? Who cared if maybe some people would come up to you and bring up the still painful transfer? You definitely didn’t, not if you had a chance to make the blonde feel better.

For some reason Ana seemed taken aback by your answer. “Wait what? It’s the least you can do? What have I ever done for you? If anything I owe you! You keep hanging out with me; you keep showing me amazing places here.”

You scrunched up your nose at the blonde’s words. It didn’t sit right with you that she made it sound like hanging out with her was a chore for you, not when it was the only thing that brought you any joy lately.

“But I love spending time with you!” You cried out, for once completely forgetting to add the obligatory ‘as a friend’.

A soft smile appeared on the Swiss woman’s face when she heard your words, as well as the indignation in your voice.

“The same is true for me,” she was quick to assure you, before focusing once again on her first question. She wouldn’t let you wriggle out of this so easily. “But seriously why do you feel like you need to pay me back in anyway? I don’t remember ever doing anything for you.”

Slight panic began pumping through your veins, as you scrambled to come up with anything better to offer up than ‘You hang out with me when you’re so much better than me and there are surely so many better people in your life that you could hang out with.’ That just wouldn’t do. It was one thing to be pathetic, but another thing to shout it from the rooftops.

“I didn’t really mean it like that. Just that I’m always happy to do anything for you,” you mumbled finally. This time you caught yourself however and quickly continued, “I love being there for my friends.”

Ana didn’t need to know that there was no one else on the planet you would do this for.

“Aw, you’re so sweet,” the blonde cooed, her compliment instantly making you blush. “And I hope you know that I’m always happy to do anything you need as well.”

You nodded instinctively, not believing it for one second. Not that you doubted that Ana would be there for you in a for a friend reasonable manner, but your commitment to her went way beyond that. There was very little the blonde could ask for that you wouldn’t do for her.

Thankfully the conversation moved on to safer topics after thi and you could relax once again. At least as much as you were ever able to relax around the woman you were hopelessly in love with.

---

When you walked to your seat in Atlético’s stadium a few days later you cursed yourself for agreeing to this. With every step you took it felt like the sadness inside of you grew, taking up more and more space until it was almost impossible to breathe.

This was supposed to be your stadium. Your teammates, former teammates you reminded yourself, had often called you the Alexia Putellas or Leah Williamson of Atlético Madrid. Someone that practically bled their team’s color, born and raised there, and honestly set on dying there too.

Not that you had ever been on a level comparable to Alexia or Leah, which had become painfully obvious when Aleti just dropped you like you were a piece of trash. You hadn’t told anyone this yet, but after that conversation you had seriously considered giving up football once and for all. The thought of playing anywhere else had been ripping you apart. But in the end the idea of not playing the sport you loved at all anymore had been even harder to bear.

You thanked your lucky star that you at least made it to your seat without anyone approaching you. At this point you weren’t sure if you would be able to keep it together if anyone spoke to you. Maybe the people around you could read as much on your face because you could definitely hear some whispering and felt a lot of gazes resting on you, but miraculously people kept their distance.

Although it was possible you were wrong about seemingly everyone watching you. You didn’t look around to check if the stares you could feel were actually real, instead you made sure to keep your eyes carefully trained on the pitch, avoiding making eye contact with anyone, which might inadvertently give them the courage to come up to you.

So you sat there, totally rigid, every fiber of your body tense, wishing for the seconds to pass by as quickly as possible, but somehow that only made them crawl slower than a snail. Maybe you should just leave, come up with an excuse why you had to go. Was this really worth it?

You got your answer the moment Ana entered the pitch, looking around the stadium searchingly. The instant she spotted you a big smile appeared on the blonde’s face, all of the tightness leaving her body momentarily.

Yes, this was worth it. Ana was worth this and so much more.

You kept thinking of the Swiss woman’s happiness and relief at seeing you when people got bolder during half time, walking up to you to tell you that they missed you at Atlético, that it wasn’t the same without you and that they would never forgive the club for their treatment of you. Empty words since they were here supporting them right now.

Not that you wanted them to turn their backs on the team. You understood having conflicting feelings, your own probably the most complicated of them all. Being back in this stadium you played so many of your games, made you furious and sad, but it also filled you with a longing to go back and brought about a sense of worthlessness. Why hadn’t you been good enough to keep around?

Despite Ana’s best effort to act nonchalant you saw the signs of her struggles clearly, even from the relative distance of the stands. So throughout the entire game you kept watching the blonde like a hawk, as if you could help her feel better about this by some sort of telepathic connection that required a laser like focus on your end.

This way you observed how tense Ana was when her former teammates hugged her, almost reluctant to accept the loving touches because she knew she wasn’t going to see them again anytime soon after this night.

You also saw how lost the Swiss woman looked on the pitch when the game started. As if she couldn’t quite wrap her head around the fact that she was on the field with the Barça girls, but not as their teammate.

And you noticed that Ana avoided looking over to the traveling Barcelona fans until the game was finished, despite them chanting her name several times. Only once the final whistle was blown did she go over. It seemed impossible from your spot practically on the other side of the stadium, but you were sure you saw the Swiss woman holding back tears as she thanked them profusely.

You kept on watching while Ana talked with her former teammates. She smiled while chatting, but it was a smile filled with sadness. You briefly wondered if the Barça girls could see that as well. Did they even care? Even though you knew this wasn’t their fault at all, you felt an irrational anger towards them. How could they move on from Ana so quickly? They should have raised hell!

If you would have paid the Barça players any attention you would have seen the unhappiness and concern on their faces, clearly missing the Swiss woman a great deal. However your focus lay solely on the blonde.

The moment Ana disappeared into the tunnels, you also began making your way out of the stadium, keeping your head down and brushing off everyone that tried to initiate a conversation with you. They probably thought you were being rude, but you didn’t care. You were on a mission to get to Ana’s car, the agreed upon meeting point, as soon as possible.

If you would have stopped and thought about it for a second you would have realized that there was no way she would be there anytime soon. The Swiss woman still had to shower and stay around for the post match talk, so really there was no rush. Still, you hurried there as fast as you could.

And to be honest you also felt much more comfortable in the parking lot, an area off limits to the public, than in the stadium surrounded by so many curious fans. They had all been friendly and every single one that had spoken to you had stated that they were on your ‘side’, but nonetheless it was a constant reminder of your unwilling departure from your childhood club. And if it were up to you this subject would stay buried underneath heaps of pretending.

Therefore you worked hard to keep your mind away from your own dark thoughts while you waited for Ana, focusing instead on contemplating every possible emotional state the blonde could be in and how you could be a good distraction for her tonight. Because even though the two of you had to leave for your respective national teams tomorrow you had decided to spend the evening together, maybe even have a sleepover.

When the Swiss woman appeared, the first one from the team to get to the parking lot, she was a little out of breath and looked drained. Not physically, but emotionally. You debated giving her a hug, however Ana decided for you by walking directly towards the driver seat and slipping in without pausing for a second.

You assumed that she was just eager to leave, perhaps scared that one of her former teammates would catch up to her and would want to have a prolonged conversation. That was definitely something you were a little anxious about yourself with your own former teammates. Therefore the quick departure suited you just fine.

And when you caught a glimpse of some of your former teammates entering the car park as you drove off, you thanked Ana in your mind.

The truth was that the Swiss woman had actually done it for you. Throughout the night she didn’t have the same opportunity to continuously watch you as you had, but still she kept glancing over at you any chance she got. And Ana had noticed instantly that you didn’t feel comfortable, everything about your posture and your expression had screamed that you wanted to leave. So she had made sure to rush and get you out of there as quickly as she could.

During the car ride home you kept up a constant stream of light chatter, hoping that it posed a good enough distraction for your companion. Now that she was so close, you didn’t dare to outright stare at her like you had done during the game, but with some quick glances now and then you ensured that Ana looked mostly calm, not really happy though.

At your apartment you had everything waiting for a cozy movie night. You ushered Ana to sit down and relax, while you whirled around the apartment getting everything ready. It didn’t take long since you had prepared what you could before leaving for the game.

Once you sat down and flicked on the TV, turning to the Swiss woman with a slightly forced smile, you noticed that something wasn’t right. Ana was chewing her lips nervously, tapping the tips of her fingers together in quick succession.

“Is everything okay?” You blurted out before you could stop yourself. “No wait, I’m sorry, forget that. Let’s just watch the movie, hopefully that will be a good distraction and if not, just tell me. Then we can try something else. Maybe play a game? Or just go to sleep?“

Ana sighed deeply, unhappiness etched on her usually so happy face. Anxiety began freezing your veins; you weren’t doing a good enough job at distracting her. You weren’t good enough.

“Look I know I said that stupid thing about preferring distractions once but I didn’t mean it. I just said it because…” Ana trailed off, looking very uncertain if she should continue.

“What?”

That was the only thing you could think of. The idea that all this time you hadn’t actually been giving the blonde what she craved most, felt like a stab through the middle of your heart. But even more so you wondered, if you hadn’t than why had she still been hanging out with you?

Apparently Ana decided that she did want to explain her reasoning some more. She took a deep breath before she continued talking.

“I only said it because I felt so bad complaining about my transfer to Atlético to you of all people. But I’ve regretted it almost every time we’ve hung out. Because I want to talk with you about it, I want to talk about everything with you. And most of all I want you to talk to me about your own unwanted transfer and how it makes you feel. But I felt weird pushing you to open up about it after I said I didn’t want to talk about mine.”

There was too much in Ana’s explanation that you didn’t know how to deal with, so you focused on the things that were easy for you, “You know you can always talk to me about anything. Please never feel bad about that, I’m always happy to listen! And don’t worry about me, I’m totally fine with my transfer. These things happen and it’s not like Real is a bad team or anything, so I can’t really complain.”

That was a flat out lie of course, you had been complaining a lot about your transfer and you definitely still had strong feelings about it, all of them bad. But Ana didn’t need to worry about that, not when she was struggling with her own club situation.

The Swiss woman scooted closer to you, putting a hand on your thigh. She looked at you seriously and you knew instantly that the Swiss woman didn’t believe a word you had just said.

“Don’t do that, please. It’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to feel bad after being dropped by your club, I know I do and my connection to Barcelona wasn’t even a deep as yours with Atléti.”

The softness of Ana’s voice combined with her words, words that you had been craving to hear for the longest time, brought tears to your eyes. You blinked furiously to get rid of them and quickly diverted your gaze, hopefully blocking the Swiss woman from seeing your watery eyes. Of course you had no such luck.

Ana closed the last few centimeters of distance between you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Still, you didn’t turn to meet her eyes. You were fine. The transfer didn’t bother you. At least not enough to cry about it to the Swiss woman.

“Maybe tonight we can just be sad together? I think we both need that,” Ana suggested, her voice quivering.

This made you look up. When you saw that the blonde’s own eyes were also filled with tears your resolve to be strong crumbled. If Ana needed this than you would give it to her. And if it just so happened to align with what you longed for as well that was just a lucky coincidence.

“Okay,” you mumbled and that was all Ana needed. She drew you against her, practically pulling you into her lap.

You held out a second longer but when you felt Ana’s body shaking from her sobs and heard her crying, you didn’t bother to hold yourself back any longer, letting your own tears fall.

And that’s how you stayed for a long time, the two of you falling apart in each other’s arms. You didn’t really talk about anything that night, simply relocating to your bedroom and falling asleep in each other‘s arms once all the tears had been shed.

That was a first for the two of you. At every sleepover before you had kept a careful distance, both of you sleeping on their designated side of the bed, but that night nothing was keeping you apart.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #ana maria crnogorcevic imagine #ana maria crnogorcevic x reader

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the-badger-mole · 3 days

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So due to friends who ship it, I often end up in KA spaces more than I would like. But I recently was told something I think you especially would find funny/ridiculous. Apparently Bryke has continued the revisionism of their show due to criticism. First it was the comics and Aang asking Katara if he can kiss her. Then it’s the freaking cookbook that tells us Aang cooks all the time for his friends and knows lots of air nomad vegetarian recipes. Now according to my KA shipping friends, Avatar Legends has talked about how Kya and Bumi were included and received a full air nomad cultural education just like Tenzin did. That Kya uses her father’s lessons on “philosophy, meditation, and balance” in her own life and teaches classes to the new air nomads. So now KA shippers are trying to claim that this shows that Aang was a good dad and did treat them fairly and wasn’t neglectful. I can only imagine what Bryke will come up with next for their new movie!

Fortunately thanks to you I have a solid argument for my friends whenever this kind of thing crops up, “If Bryke thought it was important they would have showed it on screen in the show.” So thank you!

I'm happy to help! I would add that them making these adjustments to Aang after everyone complained about them is too little too late. Especially since most of these have come well after LoK wrapped. Who are they even doing it for? Aang's stans are going to stan no matter what awful things he does. Those of us who don't like Aang aren't going to be fooled by such an embarrassingly transparent attempt. And unless they're going to George Lucas LoK and rewrite whole episodes and plot points, their original ideas still stand. All they're doing is proving the Zutara/anti Aang fans right. Aang was a terrible father/husband/friend, and now they're trying to retcon their boy. I don't follow the comics and other properties, but what I've heard about it all makes me feel vindicated. I can't wait until they reveal that Katara had a bigger statue than Aang in another part of Republic City the whole time, and the only reason she wasn't at Yakone's bloodbending trial is because she was singlehandedly delivering an entire maternity ward's worth of babies. In the middle of a blizzard. With her teeth. And the reason she's the only one who can stop Aang's Avatar Super Tantrums is because every Avatar has some sort of mystical counterpoint that's born to babysit their rage outs.

Bryke's writing is a joke.

#atla #anti aang #anti kataang #it's hilarious watching them trying to back track on aang #that race done been run baby!#they wrote the character they meant to write #everything else is just placation

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melbatron5000 · 1 day

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Crowley's interesting kink

A couple days ago, I posted some more of my work on the chiastic structure of Good Omens 2. I stumbled across a funny parallel while looking for important plot Clues.

I kind of want to delve into it a little more, because while it is funny, I also think it's interesting and reveals a little bit of character.

The structure parallels I found were these:

Line 120: (Highlighted in pink) Muriel arrives in an all-white constable uniform.

Hand-written note: (Line 121) Mrs. Sandwich notes someone has a sense of humor, or an interesting kink -- Crowley asks that Muriel arrest him.

Line 122: (reversed, highlighted in pink) "This is very difficult, but I'm not actually Inspector Constable."

Line 121 (reversed, not highlighted yet): "I'm a demon with knowledge of a crime against Heaven. Slap the cuffs on me."

So Crowley has a sense of humor or an interesting kink? Well, yes to both.

Crowley enjoys playing the bad guy, being the demon to Aziraphale's angel. He likes the contrast they create, he likes the strangeness of them being a couple, he likes playing the heavy. He is the bad cop to Aziraphale's good cop. He thinks it's funny, but it also revs his engine.

And Aziraphale knows it. Look at Aziraphale tempting Crowley into the wall slam -- he calls Crowley nice, knowing that Crowley likes being the demon, specifically he likes being Aziraphale's demon. It's a turn-on for him. It's a turn-on for both of them.

There's that moment where Crowley stares at Aziraphale with sort of a blank expression before he grabs him; he's reading Aziraphale's cues and knows Aziraphale wants the bad boy right now -- and he enjoys giving that to him.

Good lord, I was pretty sure they probably aren't actually doing the deed -- but now I'm not so sure. They sure don't look like a couple who don't know what sex is, or aren't interested.

Or maybe this is a form of intimacy for them, this role-playing they do, where Aziraphale eats cake while Crowley watches and Crowley acts all mean and rough while Aziraphale watches. This might be their way of getting off, how they indulge one another in a way that's just as intimate as sex, but different.

Either way, it puts a smile on your face.

#good omens 2 #crowley #good omens meta #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good omens wall slam #good omens thoughts #demon crowley #slap the cuffs on him he likes it

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winters-rose-daughterofcain · 2 days

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While I'm at it both Colin and Pen are so brave and trusting of each other this season and it's a huge reason why the pacing works for me. This post from @dollypopup goes into detail about the kiss and the bravery it took for Penelope to ask and how important and meaningful it is for her ark (in a far better way than I can), but I think it can translate thought out a lot of what they both do. (Elaborating on this post.)

So much of their relationship is driven by an active want to continue, grow and improve it. They start talking again because Colin notices she's upset and makes the effort to follow her and see what's wrong, they make up after last season because, once again Colin makes the active choice to visit her, apologise, and agree to help her with what she wants. Because there is a baseline there, there is trust and friendship and respect already established from years of knowing each other and the last two seasons. He already values her and cares for her and so makes an effort to maintain their relationship. She trusts him and loves him and knows him well enough to see past this new act, and she accepts his help and apology readily.

Then their lessons happen because they make the effort the seek each other out, Colin actually listens to her about her insecurity and comfort and ranges for them to practise at the Bridgerton house because it was a safe, calm, stress free environment. And it worked, she opened up (as much as she ever dose lol) because he knows her already and she is comfortable enough around him to let her guard down and even let some of her true feelings out, even if unintentionally.

The kiss has already been discussed and said much better than I ever could lol, but it really really is so important. It's not chance or coincidence or force that kickstarts their relationship it's Pen. At one of her lowest moments It's Pen and her choice and her love and her trust and bravery in that moment to ask Colin what she wants and be open and vulnerable in a way she almost never allows herself to be, in a way woman as a whole are punished and looked down on and seen as lesser for doing (clearly, as seen by peoples reactions.) And she is reworded for her bravery by a beautiful, tender, blissful kiss. She wanted to be loved even for a moment and she so aching obviously was.

Then after that they take a break from each other for a little at least in the sense of spending time together, but they continue thinking about each other they entire time.

And in the end, even if it took some help from Violet, it's Colin's actions that lead to that ending. It's hope and bravery and love and desperation that led him storming into that ball half way through and interrupting dances and chasing carriages. It's bravery and vulnerability and trust in Pen, who has always been there for him, always been constant, always been patient and kind and steady, as well as love, that leads to him being able to give a confession like that and her feeling everything in equal parts for him that allows her to actually confess her feeling for him for the first time in the entire show.

Obviously all stories are driven by characters making choices, and outside influence definitely played a role in theirs, but so much of it was them both trusting each other and being brave enough to take a leap of faith and hope to be caught, and they always are. We (I) joke that they're stupid in love and down bad and absolutely unhinged feel loser behaviour abounds, because it's funny and true. But at the heart of it is so much care and unsaid words and bravery that in the end proves worth it because of who they are to each other and how much love is there.

#penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #polin #polin kiss #bridgerton #bridgerton s3 #colin x penelope #I should be asleep but oh well #had to get it out of my system #I have no friends who watch this show so now it's everyones problem #they are truly the only love story ever #and yes all this will make the whistledown stuff worse but I choose to believe it will also help in other ways #but I'm not touching that shit till June so

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elliespectacular · 3 days

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Eccentric Severe Murders raises an important question: who is the guy that’s the common denominator between all three Eccentric videos? Both the A&P tape and the Christie VHS don’t have a cast database from what I can tell, so who is this guy? If you know, how did you find out?

I found the grocery store training videos because I was seeking out that sort of thing in 2019, and stumbling onto Agatha Christie: The Scoop was a happy coincidence. You can find his name in the on-screen credits of the tape which is on YouTube for free. If I find something else from that era where he gives off a similar energy and there's enough to work with we might see another Eccentric Severe _____ but I'm not actively looking to make more.

Importantly, he's just a guy. A real person, an actor doing honest work. My interest in making funny edits of some old projects he's appeared in has equally much to do with his performance as it does with the material he was given.

I presume you're just curious and want to discover more of this actor's filmography. That's awesome and I encourage that! But I feel it needs to be said for anyone else wondering who the actor is - I do not want people to seek him out (or any other subjects of my YTPs) to contact him about my videos or to show him them. My videos are not meant to be a secret but they're also not his business. We're doing our own thing enjoying a fictionalized version of him, and it's vital that we maintain a healthy separation between the parody space and the real world.

In my experience some people love seeing themselves in YTPs, but some people really don't understand them. People in this second camp can feel anything from confusion to indifference to insult, and tend to get annoyed when YTP fans who think they're "kindly informing" their subjects are just reminding them of a thing they know of and don't care for. And they're valid for those reactions! It's a weird thing to have happen to you if you're not prepared for it.

I do maintain that YTPs are a form of speech, remix culture is worth protecting, and that it is my responsibility as a remix artist to demonstrate integrity and transparency in what I do - partly out of respect for the subjects. It's part of why these days I generally try to make YTPs of bigger YouTubers, corporately-produced media, and stuff where the people in them more-or-less know what they're getting into with regards to their face/name being public and their performance not fully belonging to them.

#ytp #dathings #youtube poop #ask #eccentric severe tumors

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teecupangel · 2 days

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Weird idea: Des gets dropped in the past, human or not, preferably with Altaïr (so he can be immortal and the problem can be passed on to Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton), and he can speak every single language past and future in the whole world perfectly, EXCEPT any that are linked to Arabic, Italian, or English.

(Linked meaning like, have common origins or descendants or have strong connections in any way that would allow a smart person, like Altaïr, to puzzle out what he’s saying. So like, he can only speak modern Korean, Gbaya languages, ancient Parahã, and those kinds of languages. Things Altaïr could never puzzle out with what he knows. He’d have to start from scratch.)

Cause like, it’s similar to the whole Desmond-just-straight-up-can’t-talk-for-such-and-such-reason, but it’s slightly more interesting. And plus it’d be funny if Desmond isn’t good at learning languages so he can speak all of these, but he has no basis whatsoever to learn Arabic, Italian, or English.

And as anyone who’s tried to learn a very different language will tell you, it’s way more complicated than you’d think.

(My fav would be if he’s even more limited and can only speak in whistle languages. Confusing people even more who haven’t ever even considered that a spoken language could use whistles)

I feel like the main point of this idea is to make Desmond suffer but I'm thinking Desmond wouldn't suffer all that much since we'll bring him to Altaïr who was raised in a time where a lot of different people with different languages mixed together in lands under their Brotherhood’s supervision.

I personally headcanon that Altaïr knows most languages used by the crusaders and the nearby lands as part of his whole ‘I’m an overachiever that would have probably had multiple PhD had I been born later in life” thing going on.

Of course, this doesn’t mean Altaïr would be fluent in all kinds of languages but, speaking from experience as a multilingual who isn’t fluent in all languages I can understand and speak to varying degrees of success, he would know what’s the most important ‘cheat’ he can use:

Context clues.

In this situation, Altaïr would try to understand Desmond’s language and they would start with the basics.

“I am Desmond.”

“You are Altaïr.”

“He is Malik.”

“She is Maria.”

From those three sentences, Altaïr would have a grasp of the words Desmond uses for “I”, “you” and if there is a difference between talking to a third person of differing gender.

And more importantly…

He gets a feel of what is the most common sentence structure.

He would tell Desmond to keep his sentences simple, even tell him to speak it as if he’s speaking to a child.

Altaïr has no shame of asking such a thing because this makes it easier for him to understand Desmond.

So they would start with common grammatical structures and then the most common words they would use or would see around them.

Of course, it’s not like Altaïr would understand all these in a span of a month or three. But he will definitely progress through it and they would have decades together considering how long Altaïr lived.

In this situation, learning Desmond’s language would become more or less common in the Brotherhood. Hell, they might even develop their own language which would be a mix of Desmond’s language and the main language used in Masyaf. Even even mix in a few words here and there from other languages that the Assassins used.

From there on, this fusion of a language would become the unofficial language of the Brotherhood (imagine that scene with the Parisian Council speak in Arabic would change to this language and Arno’s “???” expression because he hears some whistles but, at the same time, he kinda understands some of the words because he remembered his father used to speak the same language) and it’s one of the greatest secret of the Brotherhood.

… and it all started because Altaïr and Desmond liked to talk to one another about the most idiotic thing Abbas had done for the week and to complain about Malik working them to the bone XD

(This does mean that whenever someone speaks to Desmond, they do usually make use of most common and basic sentence structure.)

#i mean #you can also fuck ‘em up #by making it a language that you can drop particles to make it harder to understand from those unfamiliar with how it works #and still be understandable #like japanese XD #assassin's creed #ask and answer #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #desmond miles #altaïr ibn la'ahad

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shmooooo · 21 hours

Note

hi isa <3 really curious on what type of dom you think the exo members are 😻👀

The way you sent this while I was going through my exo album looking for a new profile pic-

exo as doms

pairing: exo x reader (no chen, read my guidelines for info)

genre: smut

warnings: reader has a hand kink (this is very self-indulgent), mentions of degradation, spanking, edging, overstimulation, (aftercare isn’t explicitly mentioned for most of them but just know that all of them would be adamant about taking good care of you after, especially if they were rough)

word count: 851

notes: special thanks to @rose-sereniteeth for helping me! ♡ funny how we struggled with minseok and then in typical fashion his part became one of the longest 💀 i'm not super happy with this but despite having stanned exo for the past seven years, i never quite embraced them like this until somewhat recently so there's still time to figure this out - also reblogs are always appreciated!

~~~~~~

Minseok (Xiumin)

Hard dom. He has rules in place and expects you to follow them. And while he’s sweet outside of the bedroom, during scenes he loves degrading you. He’s also a huge fan of teasing and sometimes he’ll just tease you with light touches (sometimes even with a feather) for hours until you get desperate enough. But if you dare to show your impatience by being a brat, he’ll scold you and either prolong your suffering or give you exactly what you wanted but tenfold until it’s almost too much. Cleanliness and tidiness are also very important to him so I feel like he would make you fold your clothes after undressing and be very adamant about cleaning you up afterwards.

Junmyeon (Suho)

Dom. Honestly ultimate daddy dom. Everything he does is to make you feel good. Whether that is making sure you eat and sleep enough or giving you what you need in the bedroom. He will absolutely spoil you in all aspects of life but in return he expects you to follow the rules you agreed on. And while he is sweet, he’s also very strict when it comes to the rules so you better not break them or he will put you over his knees and make you count.

Yixing (Lay)

Hard dom. Have you seen what he’s like when he’s working? All focused and hot? That’s how I imagine him as a dom. He’s more of a "master" type, especially during punishments. During scenes he acts cold and sometimes even angry with you. He doesn’t smile and when he does, that is absolutely not a good sign since it usually means he will edge or overstimulate you to heaven and back. But during aftercare he does a 180 and becomes very nurturing and caring.

Baekhyun

Dom. He’s an experimentalist and probably the kinkiest out of the bunch. I absolutely see him owning a toy box with all kinds of stuff in there (mostly for you). He definitely enjoys giving directions and is generally very vocal about what he wants you to do (are we surprised). He will also tease you relentlessly, both verbally and physically - he’ll call you all kinds of degrading names (usually mixed with praise, like “my pretty little whore”) and first edge you until you beg him to let you cum and then overstimulate you until you beg him to stop. Will definitely play innocent after as if he just didn’t take your body apart at the seems.

Chanyeol

Soft dom. I feel like unless you either fuck up or specifically ask him to be rough, he’ll generally be sweeter and less strict. That doesn’t mean he won’t tease the hell out of you though. He knows you love his hands and he’ll absolutely use that against you. Whether it’s with light touches anywhere but where you actually need him or by giving you orgasm after orgasm with only his fingers because “if you like my hands so much, surely you don’t need my cock” (bastard). But just because he isn’t usually rough with you (both verbally and physically), doesn’t mean you should underestimate him. Question his authority and he will put you in your place.

Kyungsoo (D.O)

Dom. He’s a soft lover and that usually carries over into the bedroom. He loves spoiling you because he’s a simp at heart but he never lets you forget who’s in control when you’re doing a scene. He’s strict about you following the rules you two have established, and if you don’t, he will definitely make you pay for it. I also don't really see him as a toy guy? Like he has a vibrator and maybe one, two other things but he usually relies on his own body and the vibrator if he wants to make you squirm, something he generally enjoys but especially when he’s punishing you.

Jongin (Kai)

Soft dom. He will absolutely do anything to make you happy and praise non-stop (read: simp - affectionately). Buys you pretty lingerie but he’s too impatient to take it off before fucking you so he usually fucks you with it on. What he does have the patience for though is worshipping every part of your body. He almost has too much patience for that though, so you often end up whining for him to hurry up, which more often than not leads to him shushing you and pushing his fingers into your mouth to shut you up.

Sehun

Dom. He’s a sweet guy and can absolutely be down for a more light-hearted dynamic with jokes and teasing but once he's in dom mode, he changes. He’s firm and expects you to obey but he also rewards you for listening with praise. I feel like he’s surprisingly vocal during sex. He tells you what he's going to do, what he expects of you, and he wants you to respond too, no matter how fucked out you are. It just brings him great enjoyment to see you struggle to form the words he wants to hear because lbr, he’s a brat even when he doms.

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blinkpen · 1 day

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raggle frabble

how are there self-declared progressive people Still using that one "yes" meme format like you cannot reclaim that one nor should you want to, the antisemitic white supremacist eugenics trash is Baked In, and that does not go away by just having the topic be something goofy and non-political? bc the meme format itself is so aggressively political? you can't actually make the Hitler Particles on it go away by just editing it to have "yes" guy say something woke, despite what people seem to think? and every time i see a variation of it i have to do a background check to make sure whoever thought it was funny to post is not just literally an actual fascist hiding behind memes? because that's literally how their dogwhistle meme shit is Supposed to work? bc now its everywhere and nobody thinks anything of it at all, except people who now have to wonder if someone posting this crap indicates true genocidal malice hiding itself, or just irony-poisoned dipshittery helping them hide

i thought we covered this years ago and i'm baffled it still hasn't quite gone away??? some of you guys really, really, really, wanted to use dogwhistles for.................. fun? i guess? alright. are you an asshole, or...?

or do we like? need to explain? again??? what it is you're doing? when you "reclaim" that particular meme? because what you're doing is this:

"here's a meme where i labeled you the ugly person who is drooling or upset with a weak chin and dark hair and beady eyes probably can't get laid (traits clearly indicating a person is slugbrained histrionic & wrong, with no further elaboration even needed as to why their opinion should be ignored, bc isn't it obvious why? look at what they are!) now, as you can see, the contrast is important, as i labeled myself as the handsome stoic white person with blonde hair and blue eyes and i will have NO trouble passing on my visibly aryan genes because i'm a gigachad who fucks (traits clearly indicating i'm enlightened and correct with no further elaboration needed as to why my opinion can be assumed to be objectively correct, bc isn't it obvious? look at what i am!). hahaha! take that! i love reclaiming neonazi memes rooted in fascist logic to even work for my own political purposes! because it's all about feeling like i was the one to turn a weapon against its master, finally wielding its power rather than examining it, how it works, and ultimately discarding it as a loathsome tool i don't need if trying to accomplish anything good. because i am very progressive, and a comedy genius also."

that is what that meme format is, from the ground up.

people should not be utterly indifferent about letting it remain in their communal repertoire for self-expression for any random opinion no matter how serious or trivial? if ~irony~ isn't a good excuse for an actual neonazi to be let off the hook for implicitly asserting the validity of eugenics in a public forum for dissemination, why is it an excuse for anyone else, exactly?

oh right.

i forgot how many people on here are white goy with white guilt that they want to be free of feeling the sting of ever again without ever truly confronting their own internalized racism, or their internalized sense of innate superiority that they clearly still ache to demonstrate to themselves and their peers via public displays of social humiliation and mockery of those deemed too Undesirable of Body and they especially don't want to ever confront the ways those things manifest when they genuinely think they're on to something good or funny and sticking it to somebody who 'deserves it'

#hold on i need to rant/vent about a meme i hate that refuses to die for some reason #2b delete l8r maybe #cw for mentinos of antisemitism racism nazis etc im bitching about people 'ironically' using nazi memes to 'reclaim' them #and just. giving what is already a dogwhistle MORE Plausible Deniability armor/smokescreen making the issue Worse actually.#thanks! i hate it! can you Stop?

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chirpingfromthebox · 2 days

Text

My favorite bits from the Boston Post-Game Press interviews after PWHL Finals Game 1:

REPORTER: "What are you going to do to stop a slow start game for the rest of the series?"

COURTNEY KESSEL: "Well, hopefully we don't start on the PK within 8 seconds of the game."

-----------------------------------

HANNAH BRANDT: "Actually my favorite goal was Taylor Wenczkowski's goal, because that was with my stick. So I'm getting an assist on that one. Don't know if you guys noticed that. [everyone laughs] You didn't notice that?..."

REPORTER: "Did she drop her stick? Did it break?"

HB: "Yeah! She dropped it. And Jeff, our equipment manager got one quick, but not quick enough, so then she was ready so I throw mine out. And I was like, 'This is gonna be hilarious if she scores with this.' And she did. Then the next shift is, I think, when I scored with it. So that's a hot stick. We're gonna keep that one...I'm gonna start the game with that one."

-----------------------------------

REPORTER: "How do you cultivate this level of trust from your players?

COURTNEY KESSEL: "I think it started in November in our first opening meeting. It's all about being a family. And this place feeling safe. You can show up and be who you wanna be. And you're gonna work hard and we're gonna have bad days, we're gonna have worse days. We're gonna have great days together. But knowing that you have 26 sisters to lean on, I think is so important. And I think why we all play this team sport is because you get to show up and you get to play for someone bigger than just yourself. And that's every single person in that locker room. So that was our message Day 1. And I think here we are, reiterating the same thing."

-----------------------------------

REPORTER: "I think it's funny that you guys were 3 for 3 on penalty kill, but weren't able to draw any penalties yourself to get that man advantage. Did you see something out there that- are the refs just kinda [audio garbled and I'm not sure what word she uses here], do you think? Or do you think it's just they were playing a very disciplined game?

COURTNEY KESSEL: [laughs] "Um, I mean, honestly our power plays haven't been too great, so...[laughs] We love playing 5 on 5 hockey. And we love to see us kill those penalties. But we can't control the refs. All we can control is continuing to put our game plan in place. I think staying focused on that, that's our goal."

#pwhl #pwhl boston #courtney kessel #Hannah Brandt

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circeyoru · 14 hours

Note

Heyyyy I'm so happy you are back I've needed you so much your post always made my day I loveee collection of souls its amazing 👏 I had a question if you haven't already answered it who was the favorite before alastor joined and how did they react when they realized they weren't the favorite anymore

Again love your post and take care

This is for {Collection of Overlords}, check MASTERLIST for the work

Oh ho~ The former favourite soul before Alastor. Hehehe~~

Now this might be obvious from the stories and trivia posts if you followed. Let’s do it by the process of elimination. Obviously we’re not counting Husk and the Vees because they are after Alastor, naturally that counts Alastor himself too. So the remaining ones are Zestial, Carmilla, Rosie, and Zeezi, there are other Overlords but they aren’t important cause they will be gone later so naturally they aren’t your favourite too.

Zeezi is a definite no no by the interaction she has with you even in the trivia posts. While you do provide seemingly more guidance to her so she stays in the collection, the attention she receives from you is more of a give-and-take basis. Lacking the devotion and trust of the other three.

Zestial is a close one but still no. He is the oldest surviving Overlord and soul in your Elite Collection, but he lacks that engagement to hold your attention. Don’t get me wrong, Zestial’s place in your collection is rock solid cause he collects relevant and reliable information for you, not to mention keeping your souls in line, so he’s nowhere near the thought of being rejected from your collection.

Rosie would be a candidate. IF she even has a soul. While it’s not revealed in canon, in this story, Rosie is said to be from the Gluttony Ring (check part 8). Hellborns don’t have souls. So Rosie’s a unique case, being taken in by you and given an Overlord status in the Pride Ring. She isn’t shown favouritism nor does she asks for it because she knows that it was asking too much. Instead, she returns as much as she can in seritiude to you.

So~ Who’s left? Yup, Carmilla Carmine. She was the second soul to join your collection and the most successful Sinner soul too, being the best weapon dealer in all of Hell. Pretty obvious, right? You hold meetings at her place and you extend your protection to Carmilla’s daughters as well, you didn’t do that to Rosie’s people. Carmilla’s ambition and pride paired with familial bond was what drew your attention, there’s this funny contrast that exist within her that you can’t understand. What’s a mother’s love or affection? Why are her daughters important to her, is it like you with your Cages? But you just use them to further your power. Why is she so prideful yet loving? All these questions.

As for reaction after Carmilla finds out she’s no longer the favourite… Hm… Funny, cause while she is the favourite, it wasn’t obvious to her nor do you make it a show. It’s Alastor’s case that was obvious, so it wasn’t until Alastor came along that the topic of you having a favourite is even possible.

Carmilla thinks Zestial’s the favourite cause his place was unmoving, Zestial thinks Rosie’s the favourite cause she and her town was in your interest, and Rosie thinks (knows) Carmilla’s the favourite cause she was allowed to hold Overlord meetings even without you present. Zeezi doesn’t care for the favourite and aims for staying in the collection.

Basically, there’s this uncertainty of who’s the favourite and no one thinks it’s them. Naturally, that applies to Carmilla not being aware that she’s the favourite. But it does explain their future interactions. So I’ll add that instead.

Zeezi isn’t seen interacting with Alastor in the show, but I view it as more of a neutral relationship between the two. While Zeezi is surprised that you do favourites, she doesn’t aim to fight Alastor for it. She knows her loyalty to you is undesiring when compared to Zestial, Carmilla, and Rosie, so how can she be compared to Alastor’s when he’s your favourite? She makes note of Alastor’s attitude, behaviours, and actions so she can learn and adapt to herself, but it’s only to the level of maintaining her status as an Overlord in your eyes.

Zestial’s interest in Alastor stems from wanting to understand what it is that got your attention and change in the form of your favour. As said, before you were cryptic enough that no one is aware who’s the favourite, but after Alastor it was so obvious to the point of jealousy. Make no mistake, Zestial doesn’t want to fight for the title of favourite, he just wants to know how to better himself so he will remain in your best interest and favour.

Rosie’s friendship with Alastor is pure friendship. Like her unwavering devotion to you, her friendship and kindness to Alastor has no strings attached after knowing that Alastor sworn loyalty to you in a similar way to hers but even farther. She does offer opportunities for Alastor, like deals as seen in Episode 7, because she can’t make deals so what better way to help you by helping Alastor? She knows you don’t like wasted chances and when Alastor’s the favourite and her friend, he’s the best demon to help and stand by.

Carmilla’s disinterest and subtle passive aggressiveness towards Alastor is cause of the favourites. When it was first made know that you can and do do favourites, she does question if she was one but the thought was quickly pushed back when she remembers she was arrogant in her beginning time with you. There is a certain degree of jealousy that Carmilla has towards Alastor holding your interest and favour, but she thinks she can’t compare with it. All she can do now is be as unaffected as she can while striving to do better in your eyes. She might not be able to match Alastor’s level, but maybe, just maybe, at least she can be a competitor or come close to challenge Alastor’s place.

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ambyandony · 3 days

Text

heres the limbo fusions with the rest of the vento aureo main protags

Limbo + Mista

Mimbo - any pronouns

"Are u lost bbygrl? :)"

(They give a weird stare if asked for a full name. They only use Mimbo, even though it’s a combination of Limbo’s forename and Mista’s surname.)

most stable Limbo fusion merely by virtue of Mista’s simple ability to just not give a fuck.

GET YOUR GUN OUT OF YOUR CLEAVAGE!

bitch gon step on my fuckin toe bitch with them fuckin cowgirl fuckin boots

VITALLY important that you know that despite being easily mistaken as fem on first glance, Mimbo also has the deepest voice of any Limbo fusion for literally no reason other than it’s funny to me. They also have sideburns

Stand: Mighty Wings - Redirects Signals. Still a colony Stand, looks like tiny little pastel fighter jets!

Limbo + Abbacchio

Lio Adkio - they/them

“Don’t say SHIT about my mascara or my eyeliner.”

“In fact, don’t fucking look at me or I’ll have to kill you or myselves.”

stable only because when Limbo started panicking in the mindspace, Abbacchio simply pointed and snapped at her to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. and she did so immediately.

nicer than Abbacchio. not by that much, though… but weirdly apologetic about it.

the eyeliner doesn’t appear to be due to crying, it seems that it just looks like that.

bazongas?

Stand: Keeping The Faith? Never Too Late? Shawty like a melody-

“rewinds” signals to previous states or connections and/or can do a “replay” of those signals’ succeeded actions (i.e. having a phone replay a prior conversation) Unfortunately, it’s pretty useless in combat.

Limbo + Giorno

Glimbo Giovadkins - she(?)/they/them

“Wouldn’t you like to hear one of my 765 fun facts about aerodynamics, animals or Air Bud?”

“I also have a few facts about botany, blood and birds.”

stable, until they’re not. they’re incredibly calm and delightful, but when they think someone’s mad at them they panic and start excessively apologising.

genuinely the softest cutest sweetest lil bitch you’ve ever seen. also traumatised with a guilty conscience and can flip on a dime in a terrifying way.

shortest Limbo fusion for no clear reason? shorter than both Limbo and Giorno.

Squalo’s worst fear.

sounds pretty much how you would expect.

Stand: Crystal Dolphin - can transform signals into life—by taking the signals out of something, typically disabling it, they can create life like Gold Experience can. The more complex the device, the bigger its potential creation.

Limbo + Buccellati

Bimbo Luno Adkellati - they/them

"...I've lost the conversation. I'm gonna go make pizza!"

Megan Thee Stallion?!

has no idea what’s going on for some reason? always looks a little confused and loses track of conversations very quickly.

very good with kids! practically unable to have a coherent conversation with Abbacchio. They don’t seem too distressed, but they just stop making much sense and seem to confuse themselves.

Stand: When Doves Cry? Perhaps Freewill? Uhm… I don’t know? Maybe it can sort of, ‘zip’ signals together, combining two or more functions into one sent signal? Bruno's ability is just so specific... I can't think of many ideas.

Limbo + Fugo

Fimbo (Pannalimbo Adkigo) - they/them

"STOP TALKING ABOUT FREUD BEFORE I KILL YOU WITH MY FUCKING BRACELETS!!!"

( Note: all currently depicted instances of Fimbo seem to be post-PHF, as Fimbo is almost always seen with the mouth scars hidden by the tattoo.)

enemy of the state. punches fascists. lovecore punk goth. in terms of authority figures they only respect Buccellati and Limbo’s dad.

AuDHD trauma poster child. Short fuse but very friendly until something sets them off and they start screaming and or burst into fucking tears.

Self-love in the sense that the fusionmates care about each other deeply and both sides are trying to look out for the other knowing the other won't look out for themself.

Stand: Cabin Fever - Terrifying deathly virus that, rather than being airborne like Purple Haze, is passed though signal transmission. Fimbo doesn’t know if the virus is the same as Purple Haze, a different strain of it, or something entirely different. It spreads most quickly through vocal communication between two people.

Limbo + Narancia

Nimbus Ghirgins - he/they/she

"tummyache... :("

Libby why does my stomach feel like it’s going to fucking collapse in on itself and why are my knuckles torn? aren’t they supposed to bruise when you punch?

bad relationship with food. Hanahaki disease, what are you doing here? (/ij)

sometimes they find Mista sitting around, sit next to him and fall asleep on him immediately

incredibly bad with emotions and doesn’t even get angry they just get overwhelmed instantly at any presence of significant emotion

Stand: Falling in Love/Hard on the Knees - who the fuck let this kid control CO2 emissions?? They can barely control themselves???

#jjba #back on my fusion bullshit #i think they are goiung to take me away soon applejack #vento aureo #pannacotta fugo #narancia ghirga #guido mista #bruno buccellati #bruno bucciarati #team buccellati #leone abbacchio #giorno giovanna #jjba oc #jojo oc #Limbo Adkins #fanstands #amby draws #my art #cw: ed #tw ed implied #see limbos got an ED but all other components are able to handle or 'alleviate' that in a semi-casual way #Mistas carefree attitude comes with a lot less insecurity and mista loves to cook while limbo will eat anything he cooks if shes offered it #in the case of Lio Abbacchio actually has most of the control because limbo is scared of/respects him (for some reason)#but they're mentally unstable and generally concerning for other reasons #namely lacking a will to live #glimbo sort of does a whole steven universe here-comes-a-thought type business to address the problems directly as much as they can #lunos parental instincts override everything else so anytime they dont know what to do theyre like #mm im gonna go cook. and then as a result they end up eating just because That's The Way Things Work #fimbo is (as mentioned) a fusion where the two sides know the other won't care for themself. So both sides are caring for each other instea #also fugo establishes a routine and both of these audhd bitches know if they deviate from the routine they will explode

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tabl3 · 2 days

Text

elite force incorrect quotes compilation

chase, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

chase: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night. bree: All I drank was Redbull! chase: How many? bree: Eighteen.

oliver: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. kaz, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

kaz: You have any sunscreen? skylar: You can't get a sunburn from a bonfire— kaz: It's for my marshmallow ya dummy.

kaz: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to fear how much they love me.

(the saga)

bree: chase? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry? chase: bree, I swear to god—

oliver: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. chase: oliver: Vroom vroom, come out already.

skylar: You didn’t cry when bambi’s mother died?! chase, sarcastically: Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

chase, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

bree, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! skylar, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids. kaz: What the fuck are you guys doing? bree: Playing systemic oppression.

bree: Hey, oliver. These candies you gave me? They sucked. oliver: But you ate them all. bree: I had to make sure they all sucked.

skylar: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? chase: I only like dark humor. skylar, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? chase: skylar: An IMPASTA!

bree: I hate you sometimes. kaz: Well according to this picture chase drew of us holding hands that's not true. bree: kaz, you drew that. kaz: It doesn't matter.

skylar: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet. bree: Why’d you get banned? skylar: Touched the rat. bree: … What rat? skylar: Chunky Cheese.

bree: Why is skylar crying on the floor? chase: She took one of those 'which elite force member are you?' quizzes. bree: And? chase: She got oliver.

oliver: Why are you drinking? kaz: I drink when I'm depressed. oliver: But you're always drinking? kaz: smug grin

skylar: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project? kaz: Do it or you're straight. skylar: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!

skylar: heading out to see bree oliver: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! skylar: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

kaz: skylar has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all she says now. Everything is deez nuts. She simply can't stop. kaz: I asked skylar where she learned that joke. She made me promise she wouldn't get in trouble if she told me. I agreed. kaz: So she leans in and whispers, "deez nuts."

bree: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. chase: Aw… that's not true. chase: It'd be exactly the same. chase: You're not important.

kaz, to bree: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up! bree: proceeds to kick him in the shin and run away chase, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call bree cute or small.

chase, referring to oliver and kaz: Those guys are dorks. skylar: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

kaz: I think chase is in trouble. oliver: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

oliver: So anyways have y'all seen chase? bree: I think he went in kaz's room 'studying'. skylar: Doubt that. I heard groans there. Meanwhile in kaz's room chase & kaz, fighting:

chase: What do we say when life disappoints us? kaz: Called it! chase: No.

kaz: I may be stupid. bree: … kaz: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

villain: You’re too late, Superdorks! You'll never stop me now! skylar: That’s where you’re wrong, evildoer! We WILL stop you, with the powers of: chase: Friendship! kaz: Harmony! bree: Incredible violence. oliver: And love!

chase: out cold on the ground oliver: Oh my god, do you think he's okay?! kaz, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! dumps all of the water on chase’s face

skylar: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting. kaz: I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold. oliver: I think this message is extremely valid, but also kaz has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth? kaz: I want to set it off.

oliver: We wouldn’t last two minutes without chase. oliver: oliver: Don’t tell him I said that.

oliver: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning! chase: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless.

kaz: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth. oliver: Why? kaz, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

bree: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

kaz: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think. skylar: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

chase: I owe you one. kaz: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

skylar: Two years ago, I married my best friend. skylar: kaz is still mad about it, but me and chase were drunk and thought it was funny.

chase: Oh, so you two are getting along very… cordial now? kaz: Cordial? Nah, we're friends. chase: Friends? kaz: Yeah. After you stopped us fighting, we got to talking. Seems like we have some common interests. bree: We both love butterflies. chase: Aww– bree: And beating people up. chase: Oh, okay.

chase: Everyone synchronise your watches. skylar: I don't know how to do that. oliver: I don't wear a watch. bree: Time is a construct.

kaz: Are you reading fan fiction? oliver, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. kaz: Oh, is it on AO3? oliver: This is CNN.

chase: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

skylar: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t. chase: skylar, please! skylar: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

chase: How do you do that? kaz: I'm fearless. bree: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. kaz: I'm mostly fearless.

chase: Come on, skylar. Nobody actually believes that kaz is in love with me. skylar, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that kaz is helplessly in love with chase. Everyone raises their hand chase: kaz, put your hand down.

skylar: We need to distract these guys. kaz: Leave it to me. kaz: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. chase & bree: immediately begin arguing

kaz: running towards chase with open arms chase: moves out of the way kaz: Hey, why'd you move?! chase: I thought you were going to attack me. kaz: I was going to hug you! chase: Why would you hug me? kaz: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

chase: skylar, I think we have a problem. skylar: What, the fire? chase: No, the- wait, what fire? skylar: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

chase: I called you like ten times! Why didn’t you pick up? oliver: remembers dancing to the ringtone oliver: I didn’t hear it.

bree: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? oliver: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. kaz: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. chase: Rock also defeats baby.

oliver: If God’s ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it. oliver: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

bree, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? skylar: grabs and chugs the entire bottle skylar: skylar: It's perfume.

kaz: I want to kiss you. chase, not paying attention: What? kaz: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

oliver: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. bree: bree: I'm gonna tell him. skylar: Don't you dare.

oliver: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds. kaz: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work? oliver: NO-

oliver: Not to brag, but I can go into the Spirit Halloween without crying.

chase: What do people in relationships even do? skylar: Care about someone with your whole heart and dedicate your life to making them happy. chase: Okay. Didn't ask. kaz: Asks question kaz: "Didn't ask" chase: Thanks for the play by play, Captain Fuck.

oliver: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. chase: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. kaz: Wasps? bree: Terriers? oliver: bree.

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tzarrz · 8 months

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to all people who said PART 1 made them laugh - i lov u 💗 this is for u

#look...i know it's been a month but hear me out-#guys don't yell he's really trying okay!!#NOT a mean ww truther bc he really isn't mean like at all #not in an intentional way #he's just stressed and embarrassed and tipsy here give him a break #he's swagless & thinks it's yet another reason he's unlovable (untrue)#dont worry woowoo vash also severely lacks in the swag department #but funny doodles aside i have other more serious art of them already posted + in the works #their understanding of each other ends up being so deep #but at the same time they manage to be so utterly stupid about it #how do they manage? i don't know #they just make me want to tear my hair out #you're important to each other!!!! get!! that!!! thru!! ur! HEADS!!!!#neither of them think they deserve what they want/need #i'm inconsolable actually nobody talk to me (talk to me please)#see using words isn't so hard. stupid fictional men #(she thought she did something with those tags)#times are hard but i stay silly #by that i mean i re-read vol 10 #on the daily.#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #trimax #trigun #tzarrz

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cerise-on-top · 3 months

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Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

#cod #cod x reader #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #he actually kind of scares me these days even if I don't want that to happen in the slightest so I'm trying to desensitize myself again #I know people always joke about fanon könig vs canon könig but I think I will write him a bit softer with his s/o again #just to combat all those awful things I've seen about him that I don't want to be true and that I also want to forget about #könig is a big lad so I knew from the beginning I wanted him to be good at hugging because this is self indulgent #I feel like if it weren't for his anxiety he'd be much much cuddlier #because that's the case with me even if I have other things going on as well #and what is a funny character you write about if not another piece of yourself?#I've put so much of myself into some of these characters and yet people keep requesting them so I must be doing something right #it's more fun that way as well when you put your characters through something you've gone through. more relatable too #but I think that's something pretty much every writer does. that's why some requests are so difficult to write #I got one about marrying Laswell and Nikolai and that was a difficult request for me because the last wedding I went to #was my parents' and that was almost 18 years ago. man time flies I was 4 years old back then #so naturally I don't remember much either. But I tried and that's what's important!#either way please enjoy this piece of fluff I wrote today!

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