#(recently as in the past couple years. 3-4 ish on and off)

[gemharvest]

(id in alt - do not repost)

Ekubo Week: Day 2 (God) @dimpleweek

#artings #ekubo week #mp100 #ekubo #dimple #mob psycho 100 #we are going to ignore that i am late by two days ! have been either busy or tired :( #ANYWAYS this was really fun to do. i did not expect the muscles to look as good as they ended up being ! muscles scare me #<- guy who has only recently been working on human anatomy #(recently as in the past couple years. 3-4 ish on and off) #also can you tell the divine tree arc was my favorite arc. i have a whole animation (meme) idea i wanna center around- #-it but i have not had time yet. ily ekubo im so glad i got the chance to depict something related to it

[butterflydm]

wot on prime rewatch: 1x08 the eye of the world (part 1)

spoilers through the end of season one of the wheel of time. I will do a reblog of this soon after I post it, with additional book-related spoilers.

1. Aaah, this opening. All in the Old Tongue! LTT is SUPER-HOT. The way we can see that the clothes they’re wearing here are kinda modern-ish with a twist. There’s so much visual information in this opening, in addition to the actual lore that we learn in the discussion between Lews and Latra. Just... opening up with “3000 years ago” and straight into a made-up language!

2. I like the design of Lews Therin’s house here. It does evoke a sense of grandeur, with those tall archways and columns, and there’s a lot of light coming in from every angle, and a nice tree inside the house. And the little (for now nameless) baby and us moving from the nursery and showing off that 3000 years ago was FUTURISTIC with flying cars, etc. And that the show itself is set in a post-apocalyptic world. Really nice reveal.

3. After the credits, we’re in the Blight with Moiraine and Rand.This is just a short scene to show that they are dealing with a place of rot and danger. Rand is, I think, feeling in over his head right now.

4. Back in Fal Dara, Perrin talks Egwene out of trying to chase after Rand into the Blight. They both talk about how they love Rand, check in with each other emotionally that this recent fight hasn’t impacted their friendship, and then have some consoling hugs. Very sweet scene.

5. During a rest stop, we learn that Rand and Lan talked off-screen at some point, and Lan told him that he’s from Malkier. Rand tries to do some emotional bonding with Moiraine over leaving the people they care about behind, but Moiraine is Not Ready for that kind of emotional commitment when she’s walking to what she believes to be her death. Or, honestly, ever in general.

6. Lan and Nynaeve share a moment, and she says that she’ll help him go after Moiraine and Rand, but he needs to bring Rand back when he does. Moiraine, of course, is his priority there, but... will she always be? Lan then tells Nynaeve that he admires her deeply, but also kinda shuts the gate on the idea of them being a couple. Makes sense to me -- from Lan’s PoV, Moiraine was able to use his affection for Nynaeve as a way to go off on her own, without respecting the choice that he made years ago to share in her dangers with her. So I get why he’s shutting a door that was only just opened with Nynaeve. His commitment to Moiraine and, you know, also saving the world means a lot to him.

7. Moiraine gets stabbed in a dream, and Rand confronts, ah, the Dark One, all flaming eyes. I wonder who he thought was the Dragon, since he says here that he DIDN’T think it was Rand. I’m gonna go with... Perrin. I think Moiraine was hoping it was Egwene, and that the Dark One thought it was Perrin (for book spoiler reasons that I will mention in the reblog). Both Rand and Perrin had individual dreams that we were shown, but Rand’s dream was a lot more chaotic than Perrin’s (literally everyone else was wandering around in his dream) and Perrin’s dream felt much more focused. That might reflect the Dark One being more focused on Perrin than on Rand.

8. Rand immediately shoots an arrow straight into his eye. Love that for him. The Dark One then pulls off his charred face by pushing in the arrow and just looks like a regular person. Anyway, arrow to the eye doesn’t work (at least not in whatever kind of dream this is). This actor is really really good (yes, I say that about pretty much all the acting on this show. But it’s all been really good!) and, right away, he shows a pretty deep familiarity with the past Dragon -- saying that Rand looks ‘nothing like him’, reaching out to touch his face, etc. Rand is, of course, pretty freaked out by all this. And the Dark One just talks very casually to “Lews Therin”. “Finally having a conversation once again.”

9. The Dark One negs Rand by telling him how pathetic it is for him to come here with just one Aes Sedai. I mean, gosh, put in some effort, Lews Therin, lol. He questions if Rand has ever even touched the Power (...not intentionally) and Rand pulls out a sword and points it at him. I mean, that’s kinda an answer all on its own. Anyway, Rand stabbing himself here is very logical from what he’s seen -- he assumes that he won’t ‘really’ get hurt (and doesn’t) because, well, he shot an arrow into someone’s head and they didn’t really get hurt. and I love that the Dark One is just kinda exasperated that Rand stabbed himself.

10. Much like Moiraine didn’t want to talk about how it felt to leave Lan behind with Rand, Rand doesn’t want to talk about his dream with Moiraine. Still processing everything that happened, I’m guessing. There was a lot! Rand wants to know what Moiraine’s plans are (this is always what Rand wants when it comes to Moiraine -- he just wants to be let on the plan!). Moiraine introduces him to the idea of a sa’angreal, to help amplify the Power. Moiraine says the plan is for Rand to put the Dark One back where he belongs.

11. “You thought it would be Egwene, didn’t you? You taught her to channel. You introduced her to your Amyrlin Seat. You thought it was her. So did I.” This is an interesting comment from Rand, because I kinda think that BOTH Moiraine and Rand ‘thought’ it would be Egwene for the same reason -- wishful thinking and denial. For Egwene, being the Dragon Reborn isn’t being sentenced to madness and death. For Mat, Perrin, or Rand, it is. Egwene is someone who can channel in the way that is culturally acceptable (in most places). Egwene being the Dragon Reborn would mean that the Aes Sedai wouldn’t need to question any of their current cultural practices re: gentling men.

12. Moiraine dances a great jig here to avoid telling Rand that she can’t actually see the Power when it’s used by men (as the show revealed in 1x4) and doesn’t know how to talk him through using it the way that she could talk Egwene through it. ~Oh, you’ll figure it out~ she vaguely tells him. No quiet intimate talks about rivers and trying to find the light in her jewel for Rand. imo, She is trying to maintain an illusion of certainty, both because she probably believes that Rand needs her to be certain so that he doesn’t lose his nerve and also because the illusion of certainty is pretty much how she lives her life. We get another of her great pauses where the Oath traps her from lying here, I think, when Rand presses her and asks her how she can be sure that he’ll figure out channeling when he needs it. And she goes into a story about an Aes Sedai beating her until she reached for the Power herself instinctively in order to make her stop. And this story is not actually answering Rand’s question! He doesn’t have a block, he has a lack of training. (but I do think her moment here of being genuinely vulnerable with Rand did reach him, and what she said helped him later, but it’s definitely a far cry from actually trying to teach him to reach the Power, like she did with Egwene).

13. Egwene, Nynaeve, Perrin, & Loial go to the bar where Min works to find some answers. Egwene starts the conversation with a demand (like how Rand started his conversation at the end of the last episode, though he backs down, apologizes, and starts over again when Min pushes back on him) - “We need some answers.” Min tells them, “People’s secrets are their business, no one else’s.” I respect show!Min so much. She doesn’t back down from this position! She doesn’t bend and tell them Rand’s secrets. And then the situation changes, as she gets a viewing of Nynaeve and then people all around them in the bar getting horribly injured. This is not very much warning for Min & Fal Dara. The horn in Fal Dara blows, and we see people head out out of the bar immediately. 

14. Through a break in the trees, Rand and Moiraine see the Shadowspawn army heading for Tarwin’s Gap. Rand worries about his friends in the city, but Moiraine tells him that the only way to really help is to continue on their path and confront the source of the problem. Inside Fal Dara, Lord Agelmar learns of sabotage, which means Darkfriends looking to help the Trollocs & Fades invade. I like the scene between Lord Agelmar and Lady Amalisa -- it sets the stakes of the coming conflict -- he does not expect to survive the battle, believes that the Last Battle is upon them all, and only hopes to help win enough time for the world to pull together and fight. And it’s a nice family moment between the two of them.

15. Moiraine and Rand arrive at a building that goes downward into the earth, mostly just a huge hole with many staircases. Rand feels a familiarity with the location and here, once they’ve reached this point, he asks Moiraine if she’s walking to her death here and when he realizes that she DOES believe she’ll die, he tells her that she should stay here (but of course she does not, for multiple reasons).

16. Moiraine says straight-out here that the White Tower’s libraries were purged by Darkfriends (of knowledge of this place, but I’m guessing of many other things as well), which helps establish the stakes of why she and Siuan have kept their search for the Dragon Reborn such a secret. They are aware that they have traitors inside the White Tower.

17. As Rand tries to explain how/why this place feels familiar, he has a vision of the person that we know from the cold open is Lews Therin, talking passionately to someone, then spreading out his hands. Very interesting at this point is that, when Rand is deep in trying to remember what happened here, he is speaking in the first-person from Lews Therin’s memories. “I fought someone here.” But he says that the puzzle pieces don’t all fit together correctly. We get a glimpse of the Dark One, standing opposite across the symbol from where Lews Therin had stood. If Moiraine still had any doubts about Rand, this speech of his likely would have wiped them away entirely.

18. Rand find the symbol at the center of the room -- a circle, divided into two halves by a sinuous line. One half black and the other half white. He touches the Eye and there’s a lot to unpack in the various climaxes of the episode, so I’m going to take a break here.

#wot rewatch #wot #wheel of time #the wheel of time #wot on prime #moiraine damodred #rand al'thor #egwene al'vere #nynaeve al'meara #perrin aybara

[lavenderedhoney]

Day 77 on T! 11 weeks! Been using about a third of a pack of androgel a night. So far:

Skin: been weird but not too bad! Started reacting immediately and continues to be up and down. Before T, birth control had my skin really clear and my skincare routine was literally just moisturizing after a shower. Immediately after starting T I broke out for about a week (nothing cystic but quite a bit more irritation and texture than I've had in years). Not the most convenient for me bc I have skin picking problems lol 🤪 but it's been ok! Since then my face has stabilized somewhat. I've had a couple more breakout periods but they never seem to last longer than about a week and then things go back to being relatively for 2-3 weeks or so. Cleansing at least once a day with micellar water seems to help.

I've started getting folliculitis and acne from certain things touching my face which is new - stuff like a pillowcase that hasn't been changed in maybe 7 days tops, or a mask I've worn too many times. Both of these are kind of annoying!! I used to reuse a KN95 7-8 times (airing out in between uses, obv) but recently I've been capping it at 3 or maybe 4 wears and changing my pillowcase slightly more than once a week. The micellar water helps with all this too.

Also, for the first time ever I'm getting small blemishes on my shoulders and chest. This started like 2 weeks ago. 🤔 I used to get a zit on my chest like once a year but now I've got a few. Might just have to start regularly cleansing these areas too, who knows!

Also also, sometimes the alcohol in the gel dries out the skin on my leg and that's itchy and annoying, but it's easy to combat by lotioning in the morning after I wash the gel off.

Dick: I honestly haven't been keeping close track of the size but my gf says she can actually feel it when she touches it now lmfao. An improvement for sure! Tiny dick problems. 😔 She started noticing a significant size increase at about 2 and a half weeks, and she says it's continued to get a little bit bigger since then. For the first time ever I can grind on horizontal surfaces and receive stimulation from it, which is crazy (previously mentioned tiny dick problems!!). I'm definitely a little more sensitive than I used to be but I haven't had any problems with oversensitivity when getting off!

Libido: I was SUPER horny all the time for the first few weeks, but I'm just regular, pre-T levels of horny now most days lmao.

Facial hair: I've had a couple long-ish chin hairs for years but they were SUPER fine and almost impossible to see. Now the slightly darker one is course enough to feel with my fingers, and my peach fuzz is starting to get longer too (only in my chin area so far tho). I've started trimming the longer hairs bc I'm curious to see how they grow back!

Body hair: for the literal first time ever I have visible leg hair on my thigh lmao. Before it was very, very blonde and fine, and now it's light brown and feels just a little bit fuzzier under my hands. Only on the one thigh tho, bc I've only been applying T to one side just for experiment's sake. Gonna start applying to both sides when I can get more leggings (I've been wearing a pair that I cut one leg off of to sleep in to make sure I don't get any T on my girl).

Body shape: haven't really noticed yet! Might have experienced a little bit of weight gain since my pants have been getting a tiny bit snugger in the waist, but I don't own a scale on purpose so I can't check and my weight's been inconsistent the past half year anyway! So I don't know if it's the T or just my body doing body stuff, and I also don't know if it's weight gain or just body fat moving around.

I'm having a pretty good time overall!

#t diary #text

[catsandgoodbooks]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @bleue-flora (I am sorry it took so long it's been like a month I was procrastinating)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22, because my brain hates to stay focused on one idea at a time and I just have to make everything worse. I've got a lot more half-formed ideas and three-paragraph beginnings of fanfiction too <3

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

124,920 - that's...a lot. And it's only been about a year, so yay!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Dream SMP. I'm lurking in a couple other fandoms (mostly the Locked Tomb and Dragon Age), but I haven't written anything for those yet.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Off the Planned Course

Not that surprising because it's one of the fics I've been writing the longest, is the longest of my actual stories (so not counting Whumptober stuff), and it also has the most people reading it (I blame including the Syndicate for that). It's probably my favorite too, so the validation is really nice (even if I keep getting writer-blocked by it).

2. Unfortunate Circumstances

Also one of the long ones, so it makes sense that it's on this list. Also, literally the second Dream SMP fic idea I ever had, so it's great that it's still going.

3. Easier Said Than Done

This one I kind of feel bad about - I decided to change a few details a while ago and I'm still not done with editing the old stuff so I can start on new chapters, so I really haven't been writing much for it recently (i.e in the past six months). Maybe this will get me to work on it again but I wouldn't hold out hope. It's not abandoned, but it's still basically on hiatus.

4. Shared Scars

I really like this one, but I didn't really expect anyone would read it because it was just a random AU with no basis in canon about two side characters, y'know? It's just really fun to write.

5. Dive Deep Into The Dark

This one is the one that surprised me, because it's just a collection of Whumptober oneshots that I wrote in like an hour each. But, hey, apparently people liked that, so yay?

5. Do you reply to comments? Why or why not?

Whenever I can, because they're taking the time out of their day to read my stuff and going the extra step of leaving a comment, and because I just like talking about my stories and stuff <3

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Okay, this and the next question are kind of difficult because I am allergic to finishing anything, ever, and that means I have to stick to oneshots, but I'd say either everything I've ever written for a Whumptober prompt (because those are all terrible, basically) or Old Habits Die Hard (Old Reliances Die Harder) because it's an angsty canon-compliant (ish) oneshot where nothing is resolved and everything is just terrible. In my longer fics, I don't really plan for tragic endings, because the ending should be happy even if the journey there wasn't, or else the whole things sad and there's not really any point.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, only oneshots count for this, so I'd probably say burn the scorecards, balance out the scales, because the ending is hopeful and probably the best possible outcome via rivals duo.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Not really, which is great. The most I ever get is a confused comment or someone making assumptions, and that's all fine.

9. Do you write smut?

No, and I don't plan to.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, but I have some ideas I might write that involve crossovers and I might write them eventually.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, I have not <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but I would like to in the future.

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

Drunz, for sure. It's the ship that really got me into the fandom and I've always liked that sort of toxic codependence even though they're terrible for each other.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of them? Well, besides that, I'd probably have to say Off the Planned Course, because, although I really love it, I have no idea how to end that thing or when.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Absolutely no idea, maybe internal monologues? It's hard to evaluate your own writing.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. 100% dialogue. I get in my head about if it sounds natural or if anyone would ever say that or if I'm writing a character right and then it turns about clunky because I'm too busy worrying about it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't have a problem with it, but you should provide translations in that situation so the readers have context and know what's going on.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dream SMP

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Probably Off the Planned Course, there are some chapters were I was just having the time of my life writing that thing even if they were immediately followed by two months of struggle.

Not tagging anyone because it's been ages and I'm bad at doing anything quickly so yeah. Also, it's my birthday today and time is really fucking weird <3

#this took so fucking long #why #dsmp #my writing

[kstrolotea]

Hi! May I take part on your free readings, please?

Hmmm... about me, I'm recently playing Animal Restaurant again and I think it's very fun. I love cute animals and food but I hate when a character comes to steal, someone orders food that I can't unlock or stinks the whole place lol (I usually don't notice bc I'm tapping as fast as I can to get customers)

If there's a song (or at least one I really like) is Momotaro by Wednesday Campanella. The tale is also very lively, imagine being born from a peach (is like Kaguya being born from bamboo)

And my fav flower could be lilly of the valley, I would like to have a tattoo with some

If it's okay, it would be nice if clairvoyance or tarot is used. The questions are:

1. What's my ideal career?

2. How will be my life in three years?

3. Am I with my future spouse? (Most of the time I've had readings that sound like him)

Thank you!!!

Thank you for allowing me to read for you! Please send feedback letting me know how accurate the mentions of your current situation are and how things play out for you❤️

~

I see you working somewhere quiet. you’re at a desk in a bedroom on a rainy day. it’s possible you live in the uk, ireland, or somewhere near there. the colors of the room are a soft pink and orange with some white, beige, and browns. you work for yourself or a small company. possibly a freelance copywriter or graphic designer. things feel cozy and peaceful. you are on a call with someone who speaks softly. it is rare that you speak to people over the phone. i see you doing mainly writing. this feels creative and peaceful to you. maybe you’re writing a book in your spare time. your boyfriend makes you coffee in the kitchen for when you get off your call to take a break soon.

page of swords, the lovers, knight of swords - it will feel very fresh and inspiring. things seem balanced and warm. in a commuted relationship—engaged to be married very soon to someone you’ve known for awhile. lots of projects and activities. you are always moving on to something new. very intellectually stimulated. possibly back in school or taking a random history of poetry course.

strength - i’m psyching myself out with this one… it feels like you’ve got your eye on someone and you desperately want it to be them so you’re bringing up the topic all the time and sticking yourself to their side like one of those annoying dryer sheets you find up your butt halfway through the day and the experience of finding it completely sours your mood for the rest of the evening. more than an answer, this card feels like a warning sign for you to be patient and chill the fuck out. i’m hearing something about enjoying the present moment instead of worrying about where things are going. i’m seeing you having a boyfriend right now where you’ve been around each other for awhile but the romantic relationship is fairly new, think 3 or 4 months ish, and you keep talking about marriage. not even asking him to marry you directly, but asking him for his hypothetical opinion on wedding cakes or showing him your pinterest board of dresses and rings and it’s freaking him out to the point of wanting to break up with you. your energy feels very frantic and fluttery like a bumblebee and he’s afraid of being stung. i see him shutting down emotionally, wanting to spend way less time with you, and making excuses to be at a friends house overnight or throughout the weekend. maybe he’s planning a trip without you. do you guys live together? did you just move in together within the past couple of months? i’m seeing two toothbrushes on the bathroom sink and you talking with a mouthful of toothpaste while he’s taking a dump so maybe it’s not a new relationship but a new living situation? unless you were friends for awhile and things moved way too quickly so you’re already living together within the first 6 months of making it official. those are the words i’m hearing from his head btw “way too quickly”. you need to be more patient.

#tarot readings #tarotblr #free readings #free tarot #tarotcommunity

[libertyreads]

Underhyped Books--

These are some of the books on my shelves that I think are under-hyped on the Book-ternet as some people call it. I think a lot of these standalones or series are under represented in the book community online. (Going from top to bottom, left to right.)

1. The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes-- Maybe I’m biased because this is one of my favorite authors. I discovered her a year or two ago and have become obsessed. The latest series of hers is going to be an all time favorite for me. Or at least the first one was. This book came out this past fall so I know that’s probably part of the reason for the under representation. But, for the love of all things spooky and puzzle-y, read this damn book.

2. House of Salt and Sorrows by Erin A. Craig-- This is a 12 dancing princesses retelling that has some turns no one expects. It has a gothic/horror/mystery/thriller element in a creepy mansion. What’s not to love? It’s so perfect for the fall. I have seen a couple of people talk about this one, but it’s not getting the love it truly deserves.

3. The One by John Marrs-- I only read this one this past month so maybe I’m the person who’s late to the party here. But I just need people to read this and love it as much as I do. I was literally gasping out loud and saying things like, “No. No, they wouldn’t do that. Oh. My. God. They did that.” Thankfully there is a Netflix adaptation coming out on March 12th.

4. In the Hall with the Knife by Diana Peterfreund-- This one got me hooked so fast. I blame the 1000 times I watched Clue (1985 with Tim Curry) as a kid. This is a take on Clue that involves a boarding school in an isolated Maine town. It’s probably the fact that this is so easy to read and is probably on the middle end of the YA age range that keeps this from being so popular. But I cannot tell you how much I loved this book when I read it this past fall. It’s the perfect late fall/early winter read.

5. Sky in the Deep by Adrienne Young-- A YA Viking Fantasy story about two rival tribes. The way it felt like this book dropped you into this world and you didn’t come up for air until the book was over? Amazing. I think I’ve only heard about it in passing which is a damn shame.

6. The Queen’s Rising by Rebecca Ross-- This was one of those books that sat on my shelf for years before I found the time for it and afterward regretted not reading it sooner. This is a YA Fantasy that includes a fallen kingdom that is overtaken and must find the strength to stand up to their oppressors. It’s only a duology so this series was so quick for me to read.

7.  Old Magic by Marianne Curley-- A backlist Fantasy novel from 2000. This is probably the oldest book on this list and so the nostalgia is a big factor here. But this is about a girl going back in time to prevent an evil wizard from putting a curse on her friend’s family bloodline. This does a good job of pulling the reader into the setting as well.

8. Fable by Adrienne Young-- This is a more recent release so I understand that a lot of people may not have gotten around to it yet, but I wish they would. I need someone to talk to about this book. This is a YA Fantasy novel about a girl who gets dropped on a deserted island after her mother is killed in a storm on the sea. Her only goal for the next four years is to find a way off the island and back to her father who is the biggest trader in the Narrows. The setting is great, very pirate-y, and a classic found family trope. As a whole, I just think Adrienne Young is a really underrated writer.

9. Turtles All the Way Down by John Green-- Being a fan of John Green’s has been a bit of a roller coaster ride as he got more and more popular only to plummet as people started picking his work apart. But I think this book is him being truly vulnerable as writer. He suffers from OCD similar to the OCD the main character suffers in this novel. And as someone who has been diagnosed with OCD I found this to be pretty haunting to read. I know that this book isn’t a beloved John Green book and I think that’s a real shame.

10. Written in Red by Anne Bishop-- This series is a bit weird for me since this isn’t my usual genre. This is an Adult Urban Fantasy about a blood seer who runs away from the institution she’s been kept in and finds her way to the local group of mythological creatures who hold a lot of power influence over the local government. There are werewolves, shifters, vampires...etc. who take up a huge section of this city and there are a ton of politics throughout the series. But the thing that I loved the most about it is that every story has a section that is so slice of life before the big action happens and those moments were so warm and cozy. The big action at the end of the novels all work to bring the main characters closer. There’s a romance between the human seer and the alpha werewolf which I didn’t expect to enjoy as much as I did. Also, I read most of this series while I was stuck in bed sick with covid so I think the distraction added another level of fondness from me.

11. Rebel of the Sands by Alwyn Hamilton-- Where. Are. My. YA. Fantasy. People. AT?! Why is no one talking about this series?! This a YA Desert Fantasy with some amazing characters and a rebellion hiding out in the desert from the people in power. Found family tropes. Magic. Mystery. Stop sleeping on this series already! My only real complaint is that I wish I had the original cover because that one is so beautiful.

12. Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody-- I originally got the first book in this series in a subscription box but held off reading it because I hadn’t heard of this series before then. But it’s one of those series that you wish you had read as soon as you had gotten it. This is a YA Fantasy novel set in a fictional town that looks/feels like a combination of 1920s-ish New York and Las Vegas. The Shadow Game series is about a girl going to the big city to find her adoptive mother who’s gone missing while there for work. But she’s spent her whole life learning how to be a proper lady and in the City of Sin anything can happen. The magic system here is so, so well done. It’s something I haven’t seen before or since which is refreshing when the main thing you read is Fantasy.

#the inheritance games #Jennifer Lynn barnes #house of salt and sorrows #erin a craig #erin a. craig #the one #John marrs #in the hall with the knife #Diana peterfreund #Sky in the deep #Adrienne young #the queen's rising #Rebecca ross #old magic #fable #Turtles all the way down #John green #written in red #anne bishop #rebel of the sands #alwyn hamilton #ace of shades #Amanda foody

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

A chatty writing update | novels, short fiction, etc!

Hi folks!

It’s been a while since I last wrote an update on this blog! I thought it’d be fun to go back to basics, and just talk about writing. This post chats about: new plans for Feeding Habits, my newest novel, my short story goals & growing collection, along with process reflections.

(image description: a photo of green leaves with the text “writing update” in a white font written on top. /end image description)

Post starts under the cut!

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed)

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites, @avakrahn, @maisulli

What have I been up to?

For starters, I finished my second year of my Writing undergrad last week and got two of my final grades back today (A+ baby)! For anyone who has taken online university, y’all already KNOW, but this year was so difficult. Would not recommend! Really proud of myself to have gotten through this absolute rollercoaster of a school term and am excited to get into some writing. That leads us to:

What have I been up to (writing edition)?

2021 started off so fast. By the time January hit, I was so consumed in my new semester that I did not have time to write Feeding Habits (my novel). In the first few days of the term, I managed to write between class, until I could no longer keep up! Essentially, I did not write any of that novel until exam season (last week), where I did manage to get in about 3k words in ~4 days.

Feeding Habits

I’m currently drafting what I believe will be the last chapter of this book (chapter 10: Swan Song). This chapter is so bizarre for a few reasons. It begins the book’s third part and also marks the shift back into Lonan’s head from Harrison’s. I originally thought this part would be much, much longer, with at least another five chapters to go, but quickly realized the book’s content was nearly completed. In my 4 day 3k palooza, I hit 50k in the book (the word count goal), and couldn’t see myself extending past 60k. Since then, I’ve made the loose decision to write this final chapter as a ~novella. Here are a few reasons why:

1. This chapter is structurally very strange.

I unashamedly shift from present to past to present to past past, and so much more every 12 words. I mapped out the timeline on a sheet of paper, and there were over 20 shifts in scenes (the chapter is only about 4400 words at the moment). The fictive past is incredibly important to this chapter, more important than the present, and I thought it would make more sense to not break randomly for a chapter so I could upkeep the consistent inconsistency of the chapter.

2. The chapter is very abstract

This stems from the structural changes, but there are paragraphs in this chapter of the fictive present that are loosely based in reality. They’re more poems than they are factual paragraphs, and keeping them all contained in one place (so a mega chapter/ novella) would reduce the most confusion!

3. There’s not much left to cover

Like I said above, Feeding Habits is on its last leg, lol! I know exactly where the book needs to end up, which is very, very soon from where I’m currently at on the timeline. Swan Song should cover what 2-4 chapters would cover in terms of arcs.

Feeding Habits and I have a really weird relationship, tbh! When I realized a few weeks ago that it’d been over a year since I started the book, I realized I just needed to finish it. Not that I want to rush (because I’ve taken longer than a year to write a book in the past), but that in order to move onto another project, I’d like to put this one behind first. This book has been the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and has reminded me there’s always a time to let go. This sort of scrounges up a conversation about letting this entire series go, which is certainly something I’ve been contemplating doing soon(ish). If this spinoff series gets a third book, that may or may not be the last Fostered book for a very long time (or ever)! There are many complex reasons to move on, but the main one is that I have other projects I’d like to focus on. This is not a definitive decision, but something I’ve certainly been thinking about!

Here are a few excerpts I wrote recently:

(TW: death, gore)

Dying feels like being a trout dangled out of water. Clinging to a hook. Mouth open. Scales iridescent in a final death cry. It’s like blood spurting up the knuckles, drowning out the flesh. It’s that moment on the long fall down when the clouds cup the body. Easy drifting. The sound a skull makes when it cracks is really just the afterthought.

(TW: death, gore)

Kill shot. Death blow. Coup de grace. Right in the heart. He feels it. The blood swelling, slicking his palms. He can do it. Reach into the cavity. Feel for the ribs. Part each bone. Then cup the humming heart. Stay there. Right. It’s never been easier.

Look at this PURE moment of Lonan holding a baby I CANNOT:

The grocery store was a fifteen-minute walk away. With Olivia clinging to his shoulder, Lonan was acutely aware that she could feel his heartbeat. Open valve. Close. Repeat. Hers pulsed right above his, a miniature drumming. The sky had bruised purple, misted with clouds. The evening air nipped his cheeks, so he made sure Olivia was securely fastened between him and his jacket. With wide eyes, she absorbed the drowsy suburbia, all its family cars pulling into driveways, all its couples heading back home after a sunset walk. When Lonan passed a young boy walking two golden retrievers, Olivia giggled, and didn’t stop, even after he’d spent fifty dollars on groceries and nearly the rest on a red Corolla marked with a MUST GO NOW sign outside a convenience store.

Let’s move on!

Mandy and Cora

I said I wouldn’t talk too much about this project, but I just love it so much?? I wanted to share my SUPER early thoughts on drafting a novel, especially one that is SO different from what I’ve been writing recently. I talked about this before in THIS post, but the summary about this project is that it’s a YA contemporary novel! Can’t believe I’m writing YA again, it’s been so long, but I also think it’s going so well. Everything I’ve learned as a literary fiction writer has been a fantastic primer for transferring back to the genre. Admittedly, I have not written much, but I’m having a lot of fun diving back into a lighter project. This is the summary:

Cora and Mandy are identical twins who’ve always done everything together. But when Mandy decides to go to university out of province after graduation and Cora doesn’t, Cora takes this as an opportunity to “test run” life apart from her sister for the first time by spending the summer at her aunt’s house across the country.

I have come up with a few ~things since I last talked about this project, mostly how I’d like to structure it. As of now, I’d like the book to be structured super loosely. I’m really pulling on a lot of inspo from “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour (which is SO good), particularly how “nothing happens-y” that book is. This project (which I still need a title for!!) will be structured in short chapters that cover something Cora does on her own for the first time (without Mandy). For example, a few ideas are “Flight”, “Lunch”, and “Groceries”. “Flight” is the first “chapter” (they’re really kind of vignettes) where Cora flies to her aunt’s house. I still can’t determine if this book will take place in Canada. On one hand, I feel like there will be a wider audience if it takes place in the US (is that just an assumption??? maybe?? someone let me know!), but also: don’t really care too much about an audience at the moment! It could also take place in Canada (So Ontario and British Columbia). But if it does take place in the US, I think it may take place in NYC and San Francisco. The problem is: I really don’t like researching lol, and while I’ve been to NYC many times, I will definitely write it wrong! Does this really matter on a first draft?? absolutely not lol, but of course I am already overthinking!

But back to structure: I am looking forward to seeing what this looser structure will do. This is a story that is solely around one half of a set of twins learning to be her own person (and ultimately that she doesn’t have to completely forget her sister in order to do that), and as a twin who KNOWS this feeling, I think this structure of her doing things for the first time is SUPER relatable.

I was worried it might sound silly/worrying to others who are not twins that Cora hadn’t done things like “lunch” or “groceries” on her own, but I feel this so much as an identical twin myself! Not that she hasn’t done anything at all by herself, but as a twin, when you do something without your twin for the first few times, at least in my experience, you notice. If any twins are reading this--weigh in!

This story is the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It definitely is an OwnVoices book! Usually, I avoid details that are remotely similar to me because they make me uncomfortable haha, but with this book, it’s all me, lol! The characters are all Guyanese, which is SO fun because I’ve been planning what they eat (my fellow Caribbean peeps know: the FOOD!), which is so fun (yes they have pumpkin and shrimp, yes they have roti, yes they have pera, yes they have mithai). Every time I’ve gone to dabble at this book, or even think about it, I get incredibly emotional for this reason? I don’t exactly know why. I think this is a story I just so want to tell, with the culture I love SO much that I definitely struggled to love as a child. This is reclamation bitchessss!

Not going to lie tho: the prospect of writing ~a book~ is kind of freaky! I’m going to make the minimum word count for this book pretty short (50k) and see where it goes from there. I think I will focus on this project this summer! Originally I was going to write a literary novel this summer, but I think this one’s calling my name!

Here’s a pretty rough excerpt:

Try. I remind myself that’s what I’m doing after the flight attendant fills me a disposable cup of Coca Cola and all I can think of is Mandy and I shoving Mentos into a bottle of the stuff when we were twelve. Just me, wedged in the middle seat between an exchange student heading out for summer break and a middle-aged woman sipping a cocktail, thinking of Mandy and I bursting whole oranges in a blender when we were bored one Winter break as the plane dips through a wave of turbulence. Mandy and I dying our hair neon green with highlighters (didn’t work—our hair is too dark) as the plane lands on the tarmac. Mandy and I arguing so loud last month, we both lost our voices as I lug my carry-on out of the overhead compartment and shuffle off the plane and through the airport, searching for Aunt Vel.

Short Fiction

I’ve written so much short fiction this year! I have a goal to write a short story a month (they can range in length, as long as 1 is “complete”), so my short story brain has seriously been soaking it all up lately. Let’s chat my month to month breakdown so far:

January:

I wrote four stories in January! The first is a flash fiction piece called “Shark Swimming” that follows a young woman who attends a shark swimming class after breaking up with her girlfriend. I wrote this story for a “test” workshop for my fiction class, and it was based off the prompt “think about something you’re afraid to do and make the character do that thing”. I’m not particularly afraid of sharks, but had been wanting to use the title “Shark Swimming” for AGES (literally since 2018).

This story is one of my favourites. It’s only about 900 words, but I think there’s something profound in how mundanely specific it is. The entire story doesn’t even see the narrator swim with sharks once; it actually takes place fully in the sanctuary’s lobby. But I really love this narrator. This is the first story I’ve written in second person in a while, though I felt really connected to the unnamed narrator. She struggles with accepting that she truly is a “boring” person, and there’s something about the final image that really gets me!

I’ve been submitting this around, though it’s been rejected a handful of times. Hoping I can secure it at a magazine one day because I really love it!

The second story is “Joanne, I’ll Pray for You” which is actually a rewrite of one of my very first short stories (the first story I did not write for a class haha), “NYC in Your Apartment”. I LOVE this rewrite a lot, and also learned the original is not a very good short story! Revising this story taught me just how much I’ve learned in the 2 years I’ve been writing short fiction. Seeing the 2019 version versus the 2021 version side by side is fascinating because I essentially “gutted’ the 2019 version of its beginning and end until all that was left was the middle of the story (aka the actual story). AKA: this is the only story I’ve ever written with a hopeful ending and I cut out all the happy bits lol I am SO sorry (that arc is more for a novel or novella). That’s how this went from a 5k word story to an 1800 word story (my Submittable thanks me for this lol). A lot of details and scenes I included were more pertinent to a 3 act structure/novel, which of course short stories don’t often have because of their brevity. I love rambling about writing theory, and seeing that actually pay off is so fascinating!

(TW: trauma)

Like the original, this story follows Joanne, a woman in her early twenties, who spontaneously breaks up with her boyfriend. She claims the poltergeist haunting her drove her to this decision. The original draft focused a lot more on the traumatic events Joanne survives, but this draft really loosens them up. It focuses less so on the events themselves, and more on how Joanne’s life is affected. I found the details of these events were less important, and even sort of contradicted Joanne’s insistence she is being haunted. Instead, the poltergeist really takes more precedence in the new draft as a force Joanne doesn’t understand. That ambiguity, I think, is what the story truly needed.

I also centralized Joanne’s relationship with her boyfriend, Julian, here. Now don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t add anything to this draft. It was a matter of trimming the fat around it to leave the lean “meat” in the centre. But by removing that fat, I was able to emphasize what was most important here, and that was her relationship. Julian always played a really big role in the original draft, but I feel like his role as both a friend and partner to Joanne is much more emphasized since this draft literally is only two scenes now. Because there is less, there is more room for Joanne to reflect, which I’m happy about!

A final change I made was the setting and therefore the title. The original, which was “NYC in Your Apartment,” I couldn’t keep because I shifted the setting to Toronto (this is how I originally saw it, but in 2019 I just?? couldn’t?? write?? canlit??), and “Toronto in Your Apartment” sounded sort of gross LOL. The new title comes from a line in the story which I think is more relevant to the themes!

The next short story I wrote in January was “How to Spell Alpaca.” This one is super fun because I wrote it SO fast (in about 15 minutes or so). THIS is the writing update if you’re interested in learning more. I talked extensively about this one in that update, but some developments are that I dove into an edit a few weeks ago to really understand the core of the story. I’m still not quite there (this is just an intuitive feeling; I know not everything has “clicked), but I am really intrigued by the two mothers in the story, the narrator, and her newfound acquaintance, Violet. Both really struggle to understand their place as mothers (the narrator even declares she isn’t a mother anymore). The narrator, who is in her 50s, sees herself in Violet, who is much younger (~20s), and so she views Violet’s relationship with her daughter in a cautionary, yet mournful way, like she can see it will end up like her own relationship with her daughter, despite wanting the opposite. This is a really subtle story. I feel like if you blink, you’ll miss the message. But I think it’s compelling for that reason. It’s really a portrait of parenting and how to grapple with mistakes you may make that inevitably affect your children. Wow just unlocked the theme writing this lol.

The final story I wrote in January is “The Party,” which may be in my top 3 faves I’ve ever written. This story follows Aida, a recent divorcee in her ~40s. The day her divorce turns official, she moves into a new house and receives a party invitation addressed to the previous homeowner, yet RSVP’s anyway. At this party, she’s hoping to find some sense of noticeability, having struggled with being nondescript her whole life. Things seem quite normal at the party, until it gets bizarre.

I LOVE this story, y’all. Like “How to Spell Alpaca” it really delves into motherhood. Aida, our narrator, is incredibly hurt after her divorce. She now lives farther from her children she struggled to feel connected to in the first place, and doesn’t really know how to reignite her life. This party is a means to do that. This is the first story I’ve written that contains a “twist” which is strange because I really prefer stories that give us as much info as possible upfront, but yes, this one sort of twists.

February

I wrote one story in February, and that was “Protect the Young.” This title is SO changing when I think of a new one because it’s thematically incorrect, haha, but this story follows a woman in her late 40s whose daughter, Lindy, announces she is married the same day all their backyard chickens turn up dead. The discovery of dead chickens prompts our narrator to recall her ex-husband’s murder and the role her daughter may have played in his death.

I love this story so much! I think this would make a great closing for my short story collection. It just has that vibe! I wrote this for my second fiction workshop. I thought I had to hand in the story a week earlier than I had to, so I panicked and wrote this in one sitting! Little did I know, I did not need to do that lol but I’m very happy because this story is so fun. We get to learn more about Arnold (her ex), his relationship with Lindy, and how that translates to Lindy’s relationship with her new husband, Malcolm. I LOVE true crime (I listen to about 3-4 hours of case coverage daily), and this is my first “true crime” story. Because of that, I’m very sus of a few details that probably wouldn’t slide in actual investigatory work, so I’ll also be working on that in a revision. My professor also gave me a great suggestion that may alter the story’s structure a bit, though I look forward to toggling with it in the future.

March

In March, I was really on a Criminal Minds kick lol. I’ve been watching this show since I was seven (oops), and dove into a rewatch since it hit Disney+! This story, “Where to Run When the Lamb Roars,” is very clearly Rachel watching 5 episodes of CM a day. Oops! We follow 14-year-old Astrid as she and her older half brother kidnap a young girl to sacrifice for their yearly ritual.

I knew a few things going into this story, but the main thing was that I did NOT want to show any details of a potential murder (if one even occurs). I really wanted to keep all of those elements off the page because this story is not about those events, but about Astrid’s relationship with her brother. They are a murderous duo, with Astrid actually being the dominant partner. I wanted to explore that. I knew her brother, Fox, was more of a submissive partner in their team, even when he used to do this same thing with his father when he was much younger (chilling!), and so it was a task to explore how this young girl’s desire for violence works. The end actually comes right before the story starts, one could say, but I like it for this reason. It really made me contemplate the story by the time I finished it, and helped me examine what it really was about versus what it appeared to be about.

April

(TW: sexual content, non explicit)

I was so busy this month! Who knows if I’ll write a story last minute, but I did write one story this month called “Five Times Fast.” I wrote this during a “writing sprint” that was being hosted at a flash fiction workshop I recently took with one of my favourite writers ever, K-Ming Chang. I learned so much from this class, and am so happy I came out of it with a draft! This story is just over 300 words, so the shortest flash I’ve ever written, but I’m really happy with it. It was based off the prompt “describe the last time you or your character was naked.” In this case, the narrator has a “friends with benefits” relationship with Ricky who works at a laundromat. This story highlights a moment in this relationship (and also Ricky’s goofy personality lol). I really like it! Hopefully I’ll submit it to some magazines soon.

My short story collection

Very briefly I wanted to touch on my short story collection which I’ve titled “She is Also Dead.” I’ve been meaning to make a blog post on this, so look out for that in the coming months, but this collection is already at around 35k words (about 14 stories so far). The collection also surprisingly has a solid amount of flash fiction which is kind of fun! There’s definitely a range here, which is what I personally love in short story collections.

I feel very professional now that I have a ~collection chart. This is her:

(image description: A chart with the title “She is Also Dead.” It is broken into four columns: Story, Status, Word Count, and Published. Entry 1 - Story: Slaughter the Animal. Status: Revisions, Word Count, 3982, Published: N/A. Entry 2 - Story: Joanne, I’ll Pray for You, Status: Polished, Word Count: 1809, Published: N/A. Entry 3 - Story: Primary Organs, Status: Published, Word Count: 2342, Published: The Malahat Review. Entry 4 - Story: Faberge, Status, Polished, Word Count: 619, Published: N/A. Entry 5 - Story: The Wolf-Antelope Will Not Come for Us, Status, Polished, Word Count: 1556, Published: filling Station (forthcoming). Entry 6 - Story: How to Spell Alpaca, Status: revisions, Word Count: 1327, Published: N/A. Entry 7 - Story: Blink Twice for Final Judgement, Status: Polished, Word Count: 6572, Published: N/A. Entry 8 - Story: The Species is Dead, Status: Published, Word Count: 1208, Published: Minola Review. Entry 9 - Story: Shark Swimming, Status: Polished, Word Count: 907, Published: N/A. Entry 10 - Story: The Party, Status, Polished, Word Count 2339, Published: N/A. Entry 11 - Story: Fig, Status: Polished, Word Counter: 947, Published: N/A. Entry 12 - Story: Protect the Young, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4128, Published: N/A. Entry 13 - Story: Where to Run When the Lamb Roars, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 2174, Published: N/A. Entry 14 - Story: Phantom Limbs, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4844, Published: N/A.) /end image description.

This order is DEFINITELY not permanent (at this point whenever I write a story, I just fit it randomly into this chart lol), and some of the info is outdated (for example, Slaughter the Animal is now polished!!! thank god!!!). But just an idea of what I’m thinking of including.

This is the summary so far:

In SHE IS ALSO DEAD, characters are pushed to act on their gravest impulses. A small town turns murderous when their local invasive species, the Janices, begin dying. A child struggles to understand her mother’s suicide. A college dropout who insists she’s being haunted by a poltergeist unexpectedly breaks up with her boyfriend. A mother acknowledges her daughter’s murderous tendencies after her backyard chickens mysteriously die. A young girl caters the funeral of a girl rumored to be killed by a wolf-antelope. A newly-divorced mother RSVP’s to a bizarre party she was not invited to, and a murderous brother and sister upkeep their yearly tradition of abducting a young girl. These stories follow characters who navigate death, violent desires, womanhood, and loss, both self-imposed and otherwise.

This is also so subject to change as I may pull and add stories to the collection!

I think I’m going to leave this update here for now! I’ve written TONS of poetry too, but I honestly ~hate my poetry right now lol, so! Hope you enjoyed this chill rambly update. Hope writing has going well for you all! All the best!

--Rachel

#writing #writeblr #writerblr #amwriting #writingupdates

[luparaneo]

pardon the old art, it's sometime pre-2012

his design was heavily referenced from Deckerd of Brave Police J-Decker and I will own this with no shame whatsoever

long post so time 4 cut

So, first up is Chasseur. The irony behind this dude is yes he's a police model car robot but he fucking hates the police due to an event in his past. That event being: he uncovered corruption in the human side of the force and got in waaay too deep and pissed off the wrong people. His punishment was being beaten by the rest of his robot unit, forced into his car mode, and left to rot in a warehouse where he was forgotten about for a couple decades. Eventually he was found, sold as a used car by a shady dealer, and thusly gave his current owner a heart attack by waking up and talking about half a year later. Due to a well-deserved fear of police he subconsciously speeds up anytime he sees/senses patrol units and has to be manually reined back in with the brake or he will end up going over the speed limit by about 50MPH or so.

Also anytime he shifts into robot mode he gets hit with Memories so he would rather avoid that as much as possible and be forever known as a weird talking car, thank u very much. Due to amnesia the first time he shifted was... rough. lemme tell u if you weren't wide awake before a 15 foot car robot man started screaming bloody murder in your garage trust me you will be after (and so will the neighbors!)

Understandably, he's incredibly suspicious of authority and his rebellious streak can go a bit too far sometimes. Puts on a tough guy/"bad cop" act (say that latter one to his face and he WILL find Ways to get back at you*) but will often show his appreciation to his riders by taking them to places like their favorite fast food drive-thrus unprompted or by finding a really nice scenic/low traffic route if they're not in a hurry.

He can hide the lights/decals and be a boring-ass white car, I just never figured out what that looks like. Also the colored art at the bottom is a "recent" (2012-ish) redesign I was tossing around. Definitely like the car mode redesign for the spotlights. And the sprite is an edit from a Super Robot Wars game, I forget which one but I'm like 99% sure I used Volfogg from GaoGaiGar as the base. Because ofc I did.

*Known acts of retribution include: finding every pothole on the road, going way under the posted speed limit, making the radio stuck on church stations, lane drifting (not to be confused with the fun, Initial D style of drifting which he happens to be terrifyingly good at), messing with the heat/AC or heated seats, tilting seats wrong, etc.

EDIT: While I'm pretty sure his name is misspelled as "Chasser" on purpose due to most of his art having that spelling, I did find some old notes with the spelling Chasseur and an attempt at a backronym I decided to update. So I fixed any instances of his name being Chasser and his modelname is CHA-553U-R: CRIME HUNTING AUTHORIZED 5-5-3 UNIT ROBOT.

#oc: Chasseur #ironic cop-hating cop robot #casual reminder that you are at his mercy so do not piss off the sentient talking car #luparaneo art

[lilolilyr]

Tagged by @ongreenergrasses, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Way over 300! Tho it feels like it's been at 300sth so long by now, it'll be weird to look at once it hits 400 :D

Btw, funny how this tag meme asks for so much stuff that can be looked up by just... looking at my Ao3... without asking for any commentary by me? Lol

Anyhow, rest under the readmore bc this is 20 questions and Long!

Personal post - do not reblog

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

995596 - just a few more ficlets or 1 longer fic, and I've got a Million! Hey, maybe I should try to write one with... 4404? (I'd need to ask a calculator xD) words exactly... not rly a hardship with how many drabble exercises (exact wordcounts, 100 is the most used, I also do 200, 500, longest was 10000 exactly lol) I've already done... we'll see!

Over 400k for this year alone, and over half of that is my actual writing (not translations etc), I'm so proud! Last year I only barely hit 200k and that included a lot of translating work

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  

Again, one could look this up in my works filtered - sorted by kudos? But all three of my incubus!jaskier witcher series are in it, part 2 of the series is highest with 1091 kudos, then a Venom halloween oneshot, and 'Belonging', a fluffy snake-crowley piece from my ineffable spouses series (yes, sth with under 1k words - 666 to be exact - is in the top 5... my poor longfics lol)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

...I try to? But atm I have 202 unanswered (and I always click 'mark read' on replies so these are all comments on my own fic) even tho I told myself I'd not let it get past 200, and now I'm doing a tag meme instead of replying to anything so ummmm

Edit: 203 unread now

But I do love love love all the comments I get! And while atm it's still semi-manageable, if it ever gets to the point where I really can't manage to reply to everyone cause it's too much, i'd rly take that as a compliment lol :D I'd still try to reply to the longer and/or more thought through comments tho :)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

*thinks* I have an MCD fic? But not only is that very much a case of ~posting a draft version that's barely in complete sentences insgead of taking the time to turn it into a real longfic~, I also just killed off the mlm couple I only semi care about and left the wlw couple with a happy/hopeful (rly don't remember) ending, so... hm idk whether that counts for angsty ending

Apart from that... I dunno, I just prefer my babies to be happy and fluffy? *.* i remember a mirror milippa in the mirrorverse one where in the end Michael is worried about lying to Philippa about her identity... there are some angsty TOG and Gomens ones but I think they end happy-ish (my memory is. Bad. but looking through my 'angst' tag I just saw a lot of h/c and 'angst with a happy ending')

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They're all happy???!?

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Ahahahahahhahahaahaha

Check this out

I need you to know that all the works in that collection take part in the same universe (or rather, multiverse), and are alltogether just scratching the surface of my gigantic headcanon multiverse that I've been building in my mind since I was like 10

Actual crossovers other than that I don't remember writing

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeh but I only remember clicking 'delete comment', as it should be

Recently I've just gotten a bunch of 'you Need to continue this' and 'omg why isn't there more' or 'this shouldn't end' type comments, not hate, probably not meant maliciously, but So Annoying (maybe espesh bc I don't want to just hit delete on these, but I also don't want to pretend it's fine, but I also don't have the energy for a fight, and trying to explain why that behaviour is entitled and annoying and that I write what I want to write and nice comments should praise what I actually have written, and hoping that they understand and don't get mad is... hard.)

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Check out my rated E and rated M in my works

Mostly femslash lately, but I did also write other smut in the past

Most is a bit dominant/submissive play, but I do also like good fluffy smut with feelings! Best in combo, really :D

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not in the sense of pretending someone else wrote it (that i know of), but posted to other sites without my permission - writing 'don't repost to other sites' etc did Not help, they even copied those tags lol, so I just let it be, choosing my battles wisely etcetc, I'd prefer for my fic not to be cross-posted by others bc then I can't edit or otherwise influence the fic anymore and don't see everyone's reactions to it, but as long as it's not someone pretending they wrote it, I only semi care, not enough to fight it tbh

PSA: I Only post fics to Ao3 (and WIPs/prompt fills to tumblr&discord at times), if you see them somewhere else that's Not Me and you'd do me a favour by checking them out on ao3 and kudosing&commenting there instead :)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup, one to Russian a while back, a floreleine (Gunpowder Milkshake) one to Korean just today actually, and I translated a bunch to German myself

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I made a TOG fic together with @cinnamonplums, well mostly I wrote and she made the art :D

Trying to remember whether I ever actually co-wrote anything... don't think so?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Don't make me choose!!!

Atm Milippa is OTP bc I'm busy writing them for @discoveryfemslashfortnight (this is not a post to reblog for the fortnight), but I'm also still rly into Floreleine, Bering&Wells and Andromaquynh and Andronilynh, and I read a lot of Mirandy lately

All-time favs I'm not rly active in atm but will always be dear to me are the ineffable spouses, clintcoulson, heistwives, gosh so many more I'll stop here tho xD

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Heistwives Kinda Job immediately comes to mind

I also rly want to finish at least one cohesive original-ish storyline for the lverse that I already linked for the crossover question above, but I just have so much backstory (it's been over 10 years!!!) and it's... hard...

And everything else that's still WIP and untouched for more than a few months will probably have the same fate lol

Also have a few that haven't even seen the light of day at all, most recent a Mirandy ~what if Andy had been pregnant when Miranda hired her and how would it change the entire storyline~ bit - I wrote it in bulletpoints in one go as quickly as I could, I know I had the finished product in my mind, I don't remember anything now and don't feel like going through the bulletpoints painstakenly filling in the blanks

15. What are your writing strengths?

Writing one-shots quickly in one go

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Forgetting everything about a fic if I leave it in a draft for a second too long

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There are many ways to go about it, and I think they all work (depending on the fic and the length and relevance of the dialogue)

I tend to leave single sentences as is, and for longer and important sequences use cursive and 'they said in xylanguage'.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Hobbit apparently? I remember thinking that fic was so long lol, it's 3k

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Kat/Ana from Reef Break, they have Such Shippable Chemistry, and it would totally fit Kat's player personality to bang both siblings (she's canonically friends with benefits with Ana's half-brother)... but the ship has one (1!) fic on Ao3 *cries*

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

TOG Andromaquynh longfic In Your Stead has had the title since last year and probably for a while to come! I loved the story idea so much I really worked with several drafts and only! worked on that fic until it was finished so I wouldn't get distracted & forget about it, and the result was wonderful.

Tagging, if you want to do it, @sarah-fiers @purlturtle @cookie-sheet-toboggan @ussjellyfish @onaperduamedee @startrekgeorgiouery @rosalie-starfall @lonely-night @banashee @xvnot15 and everyone else who sees this

Questions to copy:

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? 8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? 9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? 10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 13. What’s your all time favorite ship? 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 15. What are your writing strengths? 16. What are your writing weaknesses? 17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? 20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

#tagging meme #tagged #mine #ongreenergrasses #ao3 tag #ao3 link #lilolilyrae #sept'21 #personal #Personal 2021 #28.09.21

[blissful-independence]

Code Lyoko: REvision

I just finished binge watching Code Lyoko on Netflix recently to relive my childhood & forgot how cool of a show it was! While it is an awesome story, some things couldn't stop bugging me that didn't line up. So I revised in a short format the entire series in a way that follows a proper timeline plus what I would've added for the show. I hope y'all like it!

Word Count: 3.3k

Characters

Lyoko Warriors

Jeremie Belpois

Date of birth: 22 February

Age:

Season 1-2: 13-14

Season 3-4: 14-15

Height: 163 cm/ 5’4

Birthplace: Ville de Clichy, France

Family:

Daphne Belpois- Mom

Michel Belpois- Dad

School: Kadic Academy

Grade:

Season 1-2: 4th year (FR)/8th grade (US)/Year 9 (UK)

Season 3-4: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade (US)/Year 10 (UK)

Yumi Ishiyama

Date of birth: 27 October

Age:

Season 1-2: 14-15

Season 3-4: 15-16

Height: 165/ 5’5

Birthplace: Kyoto, Kansai, Japan

Family:

Hiroki Ishiyama-Brother

Akiko Ishiyama-Mother

Takeho Ishiyama-Father

School: Kadic Academy

Grade:

Season 1-2: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade (US)/Year 10 (UK)

Season 3-4: 2nd year (FR)/10th grade (US)/Year 11(UK)

Ulrich Stern

Date of birth: 13 January

Age:

Season 1-2: 13-14

Season 3-4: 14-15

Height: 173 cm/ 5’8

Birthplace: Berlin, Germany

Family

Christoph Stern- Estranged father

Emilia Stern-Estranged mother

School: Kadic Academy

Grade:

Season 1-2: 4th year (FR)/8th grade (US)/Year 9 (UK)

Season 3-4: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade (US)/Year 10 (UK)

Odd Della Robbia:

Date of birth: 1st April

Age:

Season 1-2: 13-14

Season 3-4: 14-15

Height: 160 cm/ 5’4

Birthplace: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Family:

Adele Della Robbia-1st oldest sister

Pauline Della Robbia-2nd oldest sister

Elizabeth Della Robbia-3rd oldest sister

Marie Della Robbia-4th oldest sister

Louise Della Robbia- 5th oldest sister

Mary Elizabeth Della Robbia- Mother

David Della Robbia- Father

School: Kadic Academy

Grade:

Season 1-2: 4th year (FR)/8th grade (US)/Year 9 (UK)

Season 3-4: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade (US)/Year 10 (UK)

Aelita Schaeffer/Hopper/Stones

Date of birth: 25 September

Age:

Season 1-2: 12-13

Season 3-4: 13-14

Height: 160 cm/ 5’2

Birthplace: Zurich, Switzerland

Family:

Franz Hopper-Father

Anthea Schaeffer-mother

School: Kadic Academy

Grade:

Season 2: 4th year (FR)/8th grade(US)/Year 9(UK)

Season 3-4: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade (US)/Year 10 (UK)

William Dunbar

Date of birth: 11 December

Age:

Season 2: 14-15

Season 3-4: 15-16

Height: 175 cm/5’9

Birthplace: Edinburgh, Scotland

Family:

Thomas Dunbar-Father

Fiona Dunbar-mother

School: Kadic Academy

Grade:

Season 2: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade(US)/Year 10(UK)

Season 3-4: 2nd year (FR)/10th grade (US)/Year 11(UK)

Kadic Academy Students

Elisabeth (Sissi) Delmas

Date of birth:17 May

Age:

Season 1-2: 13-14

Season 3-4: 14-15

Height: 163 cm/ 5’4

Birthplace: Paris, France

School: Kadic Academy

Grade:

Season 1-2: 4th year (FR)/8th grade (US)/Year 9 (UK)

Season 3-4: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade (US)/Year 10 (UK)

Patrick Belpois

Date of birth: 22 August

Age:

Season 4: 14-15

Height: 168 cm/ 5’6

Birthplace: Bordeaux, Nouvelle-Aquitaine, France

School: Kadic Academy

Grade:

Season 4: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade (US)/Year 10 (UK)

Viktoria Klein

Date of birth: 14 February

Age:

Season 1-2: 13-14

Height: 163 cm/ 5’4

Birthplace: Munich, Bavaria, Germany

School: Kadic Academy

Grade:

Season 1-2: 4th year (FR)/8th grade (US)/Year 9 (UK)

Nicholas Poliakoff

Date of birth: 8 July

Age:

Season 1-2: 13-14

Season 3-4: 14-15

Height: 173 cm/ 5’8

Birthplace: Saint Petersburg, Russia

Grade:

Season 1-2: 4th year (FR)/8th grade (US)/Year 9 (UK)

Season 3-4: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade (US)/Year 10 (UK)

Herb Pichon

Date of birth: 20 November

Age:

Season 1-2: 12-13

Season 3-4: 13-14

Height: 163 cm/ 5’4

Birthplace: Paris, France

Grade:

Season 1-2: 4th year (FR)/8th grade (US)/Year 9 (UK)

Season 3-4: 3rd year (FR)/9th grade (US)/Year 10 (UK)

Season 1

1x01: X.A.N.A Awakens Part 1 & 2

Similar to the original episode in the 3rd season

Jeremie meets Ulrich because of a biology project in Ms. Hertz’s class.

Odd gets introduced as the new overseas student by Jim.

Odd is partnered with Jeremie and Ulrich due to there already being an even number of students.

Yumi’s first year as a student at Kadic is explained when she meets Ulrich at the Pencak Silat class taught by Jim.

This is the explanation for why she doesn’t have friends & why people confuse her for Chinese.

Parallel to the episode, Ulrich and Odd discover the supercomputer and ‘Maya’ when helping Jeremie with his robots suddenly attacking him.

Odd eagerly volunteers to be virtualized first to Lyoko to meet ‘Maya’ following Ulrich when Odd is in trouble.

The boys agree to help ‘Maya’ and try to turn off the supercomputer the following day.

Odd notices Ulrich staring at Yumi while on campus, pushing him to talk to her even if he doesn’t know what happened in martial arts class.

Ulrich apologizes to Yumi for being standoff-ish & wants to continue practicing together.

Sissi gets jealous and follows them around, causing her to get caught in a XANA trap.

This is how she sees the supercomputer leading to the first return to the past.

The group promises to keep everything between them and help Aelita.

Keynotes for S1 storyline

The main goal is to bring back Aelita from Loyko.

Jeremie learns how Odd, Ulrich, and Yumi can feel phantom pains after being devirtualized on Lyoko.

Ulrich learns Yumi moved from Japan just the year prior.

Yumi introduces the boys to her parents and little brother since she has a good relationship with Mr. & Mrs. Ishiyama.

The boys learn how Hiroki is an intelligent kid while mischievous, something Odd takes note of when they hang out.

Due to both their somewhat poor communication skills, Ulrich and Yumi dance around the fact they both like each other.

Ulrich does end up having a girlfriend in S1, a blonde German girl named Viktoria.

Yumi represses her feeling once seeing Ulrich happy with someone.

Sissi and Yumi get into a fight when Sissi threatens Ulrich with exposing his journal to everyone.

A page having details of Ulrich’s feelings about both Viktoria and Yumi.

Jeremie struggles with the balance of Lyoko and the real world, forgetting about his parents to the point they drive to Kadic for a wellness check.  

Odd develops a secret crush on Aelita as time gets closer to materializing her.

The warriors learn about Ulrich’s estranged relationship with his family when Kadic hosts a Family Day. Ulrich is the only one from the group to not have a family member visit.

Mr. & Mrs. Ishiyama has sympathy towards Ulrich and wants to know what goes on with him in his schooling like a parent, even advising on how to help his grades.

Two of Odd’s sisters, Adele and Pauline, come for Family Day.

Sissi doesn’t leave Ulrich alone until it makes Victoria dump Ulrich towards the end of the season.

Yumi is a shoulder for Ulrich to lean on.

When Aelita is finally materialized and done safely with her ability to attend school in S2, Yumi can see Odd’s crush but promises to keep it between them.

Season 2

2x01

On Aelita’s first day enrolled in Kadic Academy for the spring semester, she is linked to Ulrich’s cousin instead of Odd’s.

As everyone comes back from winter vacation, Ulrich notices a new student in Yumi’s class named William.

Hearing from Odd through the grapevine of William, Ulrich isn’t a fan right away especially seeing how close William appears when speaking to Yumi.

Ulrich tries to not be jealous but can’t help it as Yumi seems to be enjoying herself when speaking to William.

Viktoria talks to Ulrich again to catch up, making Yumi internally jump to conclusions.

While in class, Odd asks Aelita to join him to take Kiwi out during lunch.

This confuses Ulrich & (especially) Jeremie, but Aelita agrees to have a breath of fresh air.

During lunch, Yumi introduces William to Ulrich and Jeremie but asks where Odd and Aelita are.

William jokes about Odd and Aelita being a secret couple.

Jeremie doesn’t find this funny and storms to the library.

Ulrich takes this as William being a rude person, a green light to being vocal on his dislike towards him, then follows Jeremie to the library.

Yumi doesn’t appreciate Ulrich’s attitude, following William for lunch.

Aelita and Odd come across an abandoned house called “The Hermitage” and enter the forest.

Aelita feels intense deja vu, suddenly having unknown flashbacks in the building.

Odd finds the place creepy, especially when discovering what looks like a little girl’s room.

Xana. Return to the past. Yumi and Ulrich reunite on a bench during the lunch period.

Yumi tells Ulrich about Odd’s crush on Aelita

Ulrich is surprised but also should’ve seen it coming after thinking

She understands Ulrich’s coldness towards William after the comment.

Ulrich says he’ll be better at biting his tongue and won’t tell Jeremie about Odd’s crush.

Aelita is back in the forest alone, standing in front of The Hermitage.

Keynotes for S2 storyline

Aelita is determined to discover her connection to The Hermitage with or without Jeremie’s help.

Aelita has been rewarded a scholarship to attend Kadic Academy.

William’s backstory of hot-headed comes more to light, specifically with Ulrich in physical activities.

Ulrich tries his best to not let William get the best of him, knowing it will blow up in his face if he does.

Yumi struggles with feeling homesick & out of place from being far away from Japan.

Sissi tries to mess with Yumi’s head about Ulrich and Aelita’s about Jeremie.

Viktoria tries to be friends with Yumi but can’t due to Sissi’s words.

Odd learns to become more mature to better himself after events blow in his face with Aelita.

Aelita is trying her best to be oblivious to Odd’s feelings as she has never been in this situation.

Odd actually does give something to Aelita for Valentine’s Day

Ulrich gives Yumi a necklace

Yumi helps give Aelita as much advice as possible, knowing she is also in the same boat since William came to Kadic.

Ulrich gives Odd advice to back off Aelita because he knows how much Jeremie likes her.

Jeremie finds all of Aelita’s personal information on Franz Hopper’s CDs.

When Odd tries to move on from Aelita, he ends up making regressing back to immaturity with girls as a ‘casanova.’

Xana takes control of the ‘return to the past’ program, causing the gang not to use it in S2.

Jeremie teaches Ulrich how to use the supercomputer first in simple terms for basic things.

Ulrich’s father surprises Ulrich and meets his friends, showing a strong dislike for Yumi, which causes a stronger refit between the two.

Odd tells Jeremie his feelings for Aelita after her almost dying on Lyoko.

There is ambiguity on what Jeremie does with this information.

When it is the end of the year & time for everyone to go home, Aelita stays with Yumi for the over month-long summer break.

Viktoria tells Ulrich she isn’t coming back to Kadic after this year. She also tells Ulrich to go for it with Yumi.

Ulrich decides to spend most of the break with Jeremie in France instead of going back to Germany.

Season 3

3x01

The Warriors come back to Kadic from their summer break, where luckily, Xana hasn’t done anything to harm Earth. A note Aelita takes as Xana, knowing they were apart without a trace.

The Warrior’s all meet in the courtyard as they wait for their new class schedules.

During the break, Jeremie reprogrammed the Return To The Past and added new programs to the supercomputer.  

A new additive is Odd, gaining unlimited laser arrows and flexibility similar to a cat.

Jeremie asks Odd if they could speak in private, going to a bench away from the others.

The two talk about their mutual crush on Aelita and promise to not let it get between them as friends.

Jeremie asks if Odd really likes Aelita and is surprised to hear an honest, genuine response from him for once.

While everyone is waiting under the arches, William comes up at Yumi, eager to catch up after the break.

Ulrich remains distant to William after the constant back and forth, which William has no problem with.

Yumi can see the discomfort from Ulrich and excuses the two of them to another part of the campus.

Sissi catches Ulrich & Yumi holding hands ‘demands’ an explanation but doesn’t actually get one.

After returning back from the core of Lyoko, the talk about adding a fifth member is first brought up.

Keynotes for S3 storyline

Outfit changes for everyone to start the new school year.

Yumi changes her from black all around to a pink skirt, black tights, and a thin long sleeve skull top.

Aelita’s outfit is an updated version of what she was wearing when virtualized on Lyoko. A purple heart baby T-shirt with black shorts and pink tights plus lace-up boots.

Odd is lowkey with his acts of kindness to Aelita.

Ulrich’s mother, Emilia, comes to visit, where she catches Ulrich and Yumi together under a tree. Emilia doesn’t like Yumi right away.

Emilia and Ulrich argue about their distance as if it was only Ulrich who caused it.

Ulrich states how he’s the kid and shouldn’t be reaching out all the time to his parents.

Jeremie and Aelita show Yumi and Odd how to use the supercomputer after a mission where Jeremie cannot use it.

William is initiated as a Lyoko Warrior in the middle of the season.

Yumi is highly vocal against it the whole time because she doesn’t trust him.

Odd and Ulrich help train William to be a better fighter but notice his cocky attitude never changing even after a few Lyoko trips.

Aelita gains the power of foreshadowing instead of Odd getting it back.

Yumi is honest about her feelings to Ulrich after he doesn’t return at all from a mission.

He gets frozen in Xana’s dome.

They finally get together.

Ulrich teaches Hiroki and Johnny how to approach girls respectfully.

Aelita and Jeremie have growing tension from Jeremie’s repetitive stubborn overprotectiveness.

Odd and Aelita grow closer as they expand their creative passion for music.

Jeremie becomes jealous of Odd and Aelita spending time together only to make it worse with Aelita.

William takes Yumi and Ulrich’s new relationship way too hard. He becomes irresponsible when on Lyoko resulting in him getting caught by the Scyphozoa.

Aelita blames herself for William as she hazily saw the mission leading in that direction.

Season 4

4x01

Following Lyoko getting destroyed by Xana, the warriors are on high alert of anything on Earth.

Aelita is the one to find what Franz Hopper sent to the supercomputer to help reprogram Lyoko.

Jeremie and Aelita set up Sector Five and the forest sector first before other parts of Lyoko.

Jeremie improves Yumi’s telepathic ability and gives everyone super sprint instead of only Ulrich. (Aelita with flying)

When on Lyoko to find William, they see he can mimic what Jeremie programmed, such as

His version of flying like Aelita

Getting an over bike like Ulrich

Throw his sword like Yumi’s fans

William devirtualizes all of the warriors

The Warriors think of a plan to handle William the next day.

Yumi and Hiroki get into an argument about Yumi’s diary getting lost.

Hiroki stole it to give gossip for Milly but had it fallen out of his backpack.  

Ulrich tries to help find it, knowing his situation with Sissi last year.

Hiroki gets caught in a Xana trap that smacks him unconscious, causing Yumi to panic for her brother.

Yumi stays on Earth with her parents while the others go to Lyoko to deactivate the tower.

After the return to the past, Jeremie begins looking for a temporary solution for William’s absence.

Yumi, Ulrich, and Hiroki go out for ice cream as all is forgiven.

Yumi tells Ulrich she’ll one day show him what she wrote before they got together.

Ulrich promises to do the same.

Keynotes for S4 storyline

The William Clone is programmed to have adaptive sensors, making him somewhat normal to the unknown person.

Odd’s parents and older sister Marie come visit Odd to watch his short film.

Marie gives Odd advice for his love triangle dilemma.

When it is time for the week of Christmas break, the Warriors find a way to spend the holiday with Yumi to be all together.

Ulrich and Yumi almost break up from a misunderstanding by Xana disguising themselves as each other.

Xana-Ulrich creates an argument with Yumi while Xana-Yumi kisses another classmate.

Odd mischievously submits Aelita’s mix CD for the Subdigitals audition when she cannot make it.

Aelita is grateful to Odd when she is picked as a finalist.

Odd gets kicked out of the group for showing the new exchange student Brynja the factory.

Once back into the group (called on by Jeremie), Aelita and Odd get into an argument that lasts longer than any Yumi and Ulrich fight.

Jeremie is the mediator for Aelita and Odd, telling the two to be honest with each other.

Odd tells Aelita he likes her finally, and Aelita says she doesn’t know her feelings. Jeremie tells her it’s okay if she likes Odd back.

Aelita needs time to think, and the boys give her as much space as she needs.

Jeremie’s cousin Patrick enrolls at Kadic permanently, allowing the two to grow closer as family.

Patrick helps Jeremie come out of his shell a little bit, and in return, Jeremie tells Patrick about Lyoko.

Patrick promises to keep it a secret and thinks Lyoko is insane when sent to be part of ‘Return To The Past’.

William comes back a little bit before the last episode.

Yumi and William have a conversation where he apologizes for his actions on Lyoko and reacting horribly to her and Ulrich’s relationship.

William does a whole apology tour with the Warriors about his carelessness that led to getting trapped by Xana.

Odd and Ulrich are verbal about their distrust for William, especially to his face.

As Aelita finishes destroying Xana and comes back to Earth, Odd is the one to catch her as she cries for the loss of her father.

Series Finale

With Xana now destroyed thanks to the power of Franz Hopper’s sacrifice, the warriors must now turn off the supercomputer as there is no real purpose anymore. To Yumi’s surprise, the rest of the warriors are hesitant to turn it off. Yumi gets upset when everyone but her vote to not turn off the supercomputer and is quite confused by it.

Yumi distances herself from the rest of the group, not wanting to hear what their excuses are.

In an irritated voice due to Yumi being stubborn, Ulrich says he likes being a hero who feels unstoppable. He doesn’t get that feeling on Earth where he struggles in school with parents who are hardly present in his life.

Yumi says encouraging words about how Ulrich is a great person on Earth who cares for his friends and others.

Jeremi tells Patrick and Aelita how he is scared of turning back into a loner after shutting Lyoko off.

Patrick tells Jeremie he shouldn’t worry about that because the Warriors are all really close.

Aelita says they have a bond that can’t be broken even if they all live in different countries.

While in gym class, Aelita asks Odd why he didn’t want the supercomputer to be shut off.

Odd doesn’t want to turn it off then begin to miss it, but he knows it is for the best.

William tells Jeremie they need to shut the computer down after everything that’s happened bad to him.

Yumi apologizes for her stubbornness and hears out everyone's reasoning for not wanting to say goodbye to Lyoko yet.

Aelita talks to Odd about what they could be like in the future.

They never fully say out loud what happens, and there are no hard feelings from Jeremie.

One last hiccup from Sissi resulted in the last return to the past by Jeremie and Patrick. Aelita and Odd are sitting together on one bench while Yumi and Ulrich are under a tree.

#code lyoko #code lyoko evolution #fanfic #fanfiction #cartoon network #netflix #revision #writing #ao3

[ad1thi]

top 5 fanworks of 2020

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

tagged by: @iam93percentstardust, @omg-just-peachy

rated in order of least to most favourite: 

1.  a helping hand - buckytony, mcu, established relationship, 1k, K+

Bucky wants to shave his beard. Tony helps.

i really enjoy the intimacy involved in acts of service, and there’s always something so small and treasured about shaving,,,the trust involved in letting someone that close to your face with a knife, the intimacy in being no more than a couple of breaths away from each other, the faith that the other person won’t fuck up your face by giving you a weird shave -- i just love the layers to shaving someone else,,,and i just had to make it buckytony. this is a really short fic (as most of my fics are) but i really love it

2. broken pieces (me and you) fit together perfectly - samrhodey, mcu, developing relationship, post IW, 1.5k, K+

After Thanos, after the Snap, after Sam loses everything familiar, he finds Jim.

//

AU-gust Day 5: Post Apocalyptic AU

i really enjoy samrhodey, i really enjoy the idea of Rhodey only being a couple year’s ahead of Sam and Sam having a big crush on him, i really like the idea of both of them bonding when they join the Avengers post AoU, i really like the idea of this simple, easy relationship developing between them in this very soft and understated way, but ive never actually written them before this fic - which is why im so proud of this fic, because i like the story ive weaved here

3. princely duties - thortony, mcu, asgardian tony AU, meet cute, 1.6k, K+

Thor Odinson, Crown Prince of the Realm of Asgard, Brother of Loki the Silvertongue, son to Frigga the Kind and Odin the Great, was known for a great many things.

He was known for his great looming stature, stranding tall and proud even for an Asgardian, with muscles that rippled and tensed as he walked. He was known for his illustrious hair, a thick blond mane that he'd taken a vow to never cut, braided and cascading down his shoulders in thick waves. He was known for his might on the battlefield, for the terror he struck through the heart of his enemies when he called lighting itself down to rain fire on those who dared oppose him.

He was known for being a gentle prince, for always having an ear open and the time for a pitcher of ale. He was known for the bond he had with his brother Loki - how the two of them had curled around each other at birth, his tiny fist clenched around his brother's equally tiny pinky, and never let go.

But more than any of that, Thor Odinson was known for never taking a Consort, in all his years.

//

AU-gust Day 9: Royalty AU

Ostensibly, this is a thortony fic, but i really like this fic because of the relationship i wrote for Thor and Loki. i do hope to continue this some day, to expand this verse into a couple of related one shots that show Thor and Tony’s relationship overtime, and develop more on Thor and Loki as brothers because i think we were really robbed of that in the mcu - but this is one of my better AU-gust fills, for sure

4. the things we tell ourselves in the dark - stevetony, emh, skrulls, angst, 1.1k, K

“Still,” he turns away from Tony, because he doesn’t want to hurt him, but if he doesn’t get this out, it might eat him alive, “I was with them for months Tony. Months. How did you not notice? How did you not know it wasn't me?”

this is one of the few stevetony fics ive written all year, because ive sort of fallen out of love with the ship but emh brought it back in full force. i wrote this entire fic in 20 minutes literally the second i finished the Secret Invasion episode because there was such delicious angst and it begged to be written, and im so happy with how this turned out. i personally, am always quite worried that characters sometimes sound OOC in my fics, but i definitely didn’t have that issue with this fic, and i just really enjoyed writing it

5. 1000 lives (for you) - buckytony, mcu, soulmates AU, tws compliant, 14.7k, T

On the 10th of December 1991, the Asset is taken out of cyro, and there is a name on his right wrist.

On the 16th of December 1991, he is sent out to shoot the tyre of a car, and then kill the man and woman inside.

When he returns to base, there is a boy, no older than 17, chained to the wall of his room, shivering and bravely fighting back tears.

It does not occur to the Asset until much later than these two events are connected.

//

AU-gust Day 3: Soulmates AU

this is currently my largest fic till date, and it is such a labour of love. i don’t think ive ever worked this hard, or this long on a fic, and it’s definitely the fic i am the most proud of from 2020. im having so much fun writing this, and im really hoping that everybody reading this is really enjoying it too because i have so many ideas for this verse and it’s possibly one of my favourite things ive written ever -- not just this year

+

Bonus: the morning after - mcdanno, hawaii 5 o, established relationship, 1k, T

“I know I say this a lot,” Danny’s voice is still gruff with sleep, and he peers at Steve with one eye, as if opening both is too bright for him. He’s half twisted so he can face Steve, and the show of flexibility isn’t helping with Steve’s mission to keep things PG-13, “but today - you are literally a pain in my ass.”

i very recently got into hawaii 5 o, but i truly love these idiots with all my heart and soul, and it’s been so long since i immersed myself in a new fandom or wrote for any other characters, so i wanted to celebrate that by choosing my favourite h5o fic from this year. the thing about mcdanno is that they really do write themselves, and there’s so much potential with them that a lot of what i write is stuff you can truly imagine just happens off screen on the show. anyway, Danny is always calling Steve a pain in his ass, and i just thought it would be funny if Steve was literally a pain in this ass, and then this small one shot happened

//

those are my top 5 fanworks of 2020!! tagging @deathsweetqueen, @diazalex, @rhodee, @aleator, @starklysteve and as always, anybody else who feels like doing this!!

#tumblr tagged memes #my writing #buckytony #samrhodey #stevetony #thortony #mcdanno

[tropiyas]

list of manga i’ve binged this past year-ish and thoroughly recommend, ordered by when i read them, by most recent.

1. Dungeon Meshi (ongoing) - Beautifully realized fantasy world, the main narrative gimmick is “we cook the monsters and eat them.” But the characters are all amazing and lovable, and the story has an amazing blend of humor and drama! AND, the author has 11/10 art direction, she pours so many details into every panel and I take more time than the other 6 manga just admiring each page. I know it’s my most recently read, but it’s also my top 1 recommended even after just finishing the first 2 arcs.

2. Hana ni Arashi (ongoing) - Cute slice of life lesbian romcom. Main characters love each other a lot and are dating in secret; the story sheds light on the unique issues of their relationship without making it too Dramatic. Little bit of angst with other lesbians and the main couple, but overall really cute moments and great art. 

3. Kanako’s Life as an Assassin (ongoing) - Top 2 recommended. Think of the premise of HBO Barry (Assassin trying to live normally) but filter out the gritty drama and make it into a charming slice of life 4-panel comic. Very funny, with hints of romance, and the story moments are highlighted with clever animal puns.

4. Kaguya-sama: Love is War (ongoing) - Very smartly written romcom, every character is intertwined and connected, branching themes of rich vs. poor, the competition between the two main characters is so intense for what is essentially just a high school romance. Probably my #1 romcom on this list (which is 5/7 romcom LOL)

5. Tonikaku Kawaii (ongoing) - Sweetest romcom I’ve ever seen. It’s literally just the author adapting the cute moments in his marriage into a cutely drawn manga. This man loves his wife and wanted to express it in the partnership of the 2 main characters, and it’s all very sweet even if all the chapters are moment-to-moment. Tonikaku Kawaii has very little presence of arcs compared to Kaguya, Jitsu Wa Watashi Wa, and even Komi-san, which makes the story less engaging if you aren’t there for the pure fluff.

6. Komi-san Can’t Communicate (ongoing) - Slice of life romcom where the protagonist is selectively mute and the MC basically helps her overcome the disability and make 100 friends. It has more plot and arcs than Tonikaku (by virtue of the High School setting) but don’t expect the intertwined world of Kaguya-sama, a lot of the side characters are one-off jokes based on a pun in their names.

7. Jitsu Wa Watashi Wa (finished) - Romcom where the main character is human who discovers his classmate is a vampire, and he vows to protect her secret. The worldbuilding is surprisingly deep, but is not without a few holes. Story also has a few weak connections between the main cast and the side characters. Honestly, good just because it’s finished, has very good romantic moments, and has a very satisfying ending.

#peronsal #really just self reflection and an excuse to tell you to read dungeon meshi #aka delicious in dungeon

[shatterthefragments]

Questions Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me @catholicnicky!

Hmm I'm supposed to tag 20 but I'll tag:

@kiaya, @caffeinatedbraincell, @randofando-spoonie, @cowgaykermit, @boutiquetraveltravelboutique @rhubarbdreams

If you want to play :)

1. Name/Nickname: Shatters <3

2. Gender: *shrugs noncommitedly*/nonbinary fits best

3. Star sign: okay so I took a thing and I'm going to assume that "Sun in Pisces" is this? bc i have no clue any time i look at that :eek:

4. Height: it is to my delight that I can definitely say 5'3" and not actually 5'2"! Bc I'm only a couple inches shorter than a friend and that would mean I'm taller than 5'2"!

5. Time: at the time of this Q: 12:20... ah I should get ready for bed soon... (longer by the time I post this at a little past 1 am)

6. Birthday: Feb. 26

7. Favourite Band: Currently? Maybe Polyphia? Most played currently at least. I've been vibing with Nothing But Thieves, Daughtry (again), 3OH!3 (i know), Florence + The Machine (though I have yet to do a discography playthrough yet), (ok so I'm scrolling through my saved artists for this one), The Neighbourhood, some local bands, and The Pretty Reckless lately.

8. Favourite solo artist: oh dear god. Um. Loving and/or getting back into: Rina Sawayama, Toby Fox, Ichika Nito, Tim Henson, Lil Nas X, King Princess, Hayley Kiyoko? idk it could be a lot more. But for Reasons it currently has to be Lil Nas X <3

9. song stuck in my head: because I caved and got TikTok (derogatory) because of the Chocolate Potato Cake (from 1912!) [and if you didn't just hear that in Dylan's voice you should find it on Youtube it's great] it's Maneskin's Beggin. When that's not recently heard, it varies between many other songs. If I whistle, it's usually a simple march we played in band. Maybe Soda. Maybe the hook from The Worst. Who knows~ not me!

10. last movie: either Waves or Wolf it's been so long since I've watched something. But soon hopefully Hartenstraat!

11. last show: Leverage! When I rewatched it last year or something!

12. when I created this blog: perhaps 2012 or 2013? I deleted most of my blog and started over though at around 15k posts so it may have been before that? But I don't think it was much before 2012 if so.

13. what I post: please tell me fuck if i know aaaaah whatever I see when I pop on when I have the capacity to actually reblog or queue it i guess? mostly related to whatver i'm fixated on <3 (speaking of - draining my queue for the tumblr post+ strike so that'll suck to get filled again afterwards :P)

14. last thing I googled: "Sugar and spice makes everything nice quote"

15. other blogs: theoldguardinshatters is my tog sideblog! I have some other... rather inactive blogs... not really sure I want to share them. Some are straight up empty.

16. do i get asks? not often

17. why I chose my URL: I'm a poet! jk jk (or am I?) but I wrote a poem back in middle school... actually a few versions based off the same premise/line (i was going to see if I could find it but looking back That Far in my blog is like "yeah, there's no way I'm faking my mental illness even when I fear I might be" so I'm just. not. going there. like holy shit maybe i should purge my old posts again...) But if I remember maybe I'll put what I can remember under a cut?

18. following: after swearing I'd never follow more than 100: 304. But many aren't active anymore :( (also literally me 5 yrs ago: 'oh god I follow more than 30 people I'm freaking out, it's too many!')

19. followers: 234, but who knows how many are porn bots I never really kept up back in the day

20. average hours of sleep: ...that is a good question... idk. maybe 5ish when I work and maybe 9ish when I am just me on my own?

21. lucky number: culturally: 8, personally, also: 3,7,13,17,19,23

22. instruments: formerly flute and tenor sax. I haven't exactly kept up oops >.< (so i guess rn I just whistle or hum or sometimes sing)

23. what am I wearing: shorts and a t-shirt

24. dream job: bookbinder, or some other creative pursuit that allows me to work with my hands - cake decorator? other arts? idk. maybe secretary? maybe fancy ass barista/pastry decorator? editor? illustrator? i have no clue please send suggestions <3

25. dream trip: with friends. Not having to drive the entire time. Longer than what I'm currently able to do... maybe a couple months... maybe in europe or asia? maybe just road tripping across canada. idk. It sure would be nice to see them again <3 hopefully camping with one (maybe two?) mid august-ish though! :D

26. favourite food: dim sum (bc I really miss going out with family!), sushi, desserts, pies, quiche, eggs benny, Popcorn, I'm not sure. those are also safe foods texturally usually too though.

27. nationality: canadian, half chinese.

28. favourite song: *shrugs* right now perhaps Soda or The Worst

29. last book I read: ...i don't know... maybe a reread I did of What They Always Tell Us or Martin Wilson's other book We Now Return To Regular Life last year?

30. top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: ...fuck. I don't know. Most of the fantasy universes I read are fanfic... Maybe.... Waves Cinematic Universe - now that Gabriele has a boat, we could boat! Some universe with wings! A universe with UBI *sideeyes gvmt* Stardew Valley universe! :D

from what I can remember maybe (again - Several Versions of this were written... back in middle school...)

Shatter the fragments to see what's left Release the weight That's on your chest

There's nothing left For you to see Nothing left But apathy

#tag game #tag games #this was fun but hard! #poem snippet under the cut #long post #kinda yeah

[lightwormlol]

ACOFAS REVIEW -INC SPOILERS

4.5 stars.

Okay, so! This was the first book I was able to finish in 2021. I've kinda been in a reading slump, and struggling to get past the 30-50% of books. I think its because I took essentially 3 months off my normal (daily) reading schedule and have been prioritising other things (health, fitness, job applications etc) - I think it's a testament to how addicted I was to this that I finished and consumed this at the rate I did! I recently went back and added some things to my ACOWAR review. To briefly summarise, I feel that, at the time I read it, it kind of gave me what I needed, but it definitely isn't getting a re read - my love for feysand has definitely lessened over time, but honestly i'm not that mad at sarah for this, as I find that whenever I've passed the sexual tension part of relationships in books, I tend to get bored of the domestic bliss. Like, leave that shit for an epilogue and keep it at that? As someone generally averse to relationships, but there is definitely a grace period for how long I can actively be smitten with a couple... before it becomes sickly. Taking all this into account, I honestly was nervous for this book, its release date totally took me by surprise, and I read it on a whim. As a Nessian shipper (I mean we didn't really have a choice after acomaf but to delve into the world of fanfic to keep us going) - this book gave me most of what I wanted and needed from them! I think,(some) kudos to SJM, for not disappointing in their relationship. This was definitely a character > plot driven story. In terms of the plot, I wasn't really invested until around the 38% mark? I'm not sure if I was adjusting to the writing style (lots of dramatic. sentences. that. are. so. abrupt. Nesta Archeron. Death etc) - or if it was bc I hadn't read an SJM book since the novella, which I basically skimmed. I was obviously reading for Nessian, but I didn't really feel intrigued by the wider plot (death gods, the human queens? Given I had lost my previous obsession with the world/ have outgrown 'fandom' culture, that made me actively update my knowledge, I couldn't remember a lot!) I think its clear that SJM excels character driven stories, but I think her worldbuilding and execution is significantly better in the throne of glass franchise. Now, I did say this was a character driven story. This is mostly regarding Nesta, Cassian and Azriel. I loved pretty much any interaction they had! I love a good training montage. Ngl though, I think, unless you possess an ardent love for Nessian, you're not going to be particularly wowed by this, if you've read heir of fire, or even acomaf. I obviously am never going to be able to be objective, because I've loved nessian so much from 2017-now, but I loved the dynamic those two (and three - friendship wise between nes/cass/az). One of the highlights of ACOWAR for me was the snippets of Az, showing tenderness, and opening up to the newer members of the inner circle (and i'm excluding any hint of an Elriel ship because FUCK THAT LOL) For me, the tip with SJM books is: once you outgrow them/the particular mode of narrative style, is to not anticipate anything other than a character driven story, albeit one riddled with smut. I personally am a romance heavy reader, so I'm honestly deconditioned to it at this point, (like, when I see reviewers scandalised I'm like... wow, the amount of trash I have consumed in the last five years loool.) While I disagree with the fact SJM marketed this series as y/a (or maybe it wasn't her per se, but the key booksellers definitely did this for her) - I think its clear enough now she's descended into the adult/borderline erotica genre.(very mild imo). I personally like to adopt a policy of skimming sex scenes when I find the dialogue cringy (most the time it is lets be honest any talking is v second hand embarrassment). Cassian and Nesta were definitely better than Rhys and Feyre post chapter 55 though! I was so glad there weren't a million moments of Cass/Nesta betraying their arousal with their scents, in front of everyone (like feysand, the voyeuristic pda pricks they are). I found the slowburn ish nature of their relationship great, and I actually think if you're a virgo/emotionally stunted reader, you will be happy with their relationship dynamic. It contrasts with the daemati sexual snark of acomaf, but it felt right, and authentic. This book was a journey of personal growth, for Nesta. It is clear SJM loves books about strong women, and maybe thats what makes me love this book so much. I think, out of all the archeron sisters, I love Nesta the most. This is for my Rose Calloway fans, my misunderstood, somewhat cold/left out girls, who are less receptive to being vulnerable. If you're a slowburn fan, it's not Mariana Zapata levels of slowburn, imo it's the perfect combo. Addictive enough that I don't want to put it down, but not so fast moving that I couldn't believe it. I loved the sex without emotion relationship they had!! This is honestly never done in mainstream n/a fantasy, unless its a caricature of a 'slut' that normally rivals the main character, lmao. Even if their inner conflict was p transparent, this gave me everything I needed! I know this is vapid lol but I also love the physical dynamic between the two, they just look so good together, the amount of fanart I'm going to reacquaint myself with after this review!! I adored seeing Nesta grow, (even if towards the end I kind of resented her sudden acceptance into the inner circle, i get SJM loves her and just wanted a fluffy ending, but, as a Nesta like character, it's awkward and stilted on her end to adjust to the inner circle like this - i mean, hugging rhys, really??)

I think, if I had to compare this to any other SJM book, I would say Chaols book (though I obviously preferred this). That being said, I felt less attached to new characters in this book than I was in even Chaols book (and even then ngl I remember nothing?) Obviously I loved what it represented, as a trio of traumatised women. I just, didn't love this the way I loved other inner circle members! I get that they gave Nesta exactly what they needed, a family that doesn't hold the history of her sisters, who she doesn't have to worry about holding preconceived notions of disappointment. I loved this for her! Even then.. I just wasn't attached to either of them. I found their interactions cute - but boring. Towards the end, when their stories/pasts are revealed, I couldn't help but cringe slightly, I can't put my finger on why, but I just didn't buy it. Maybe it's the brit in me but I couldn't be moved by this slightly forced bonding moment.. which was so anticlimactic. My 'aww how cute' tolerance is defo deserved for characters whose tropes I love. Maybe they just didn't fit into this list. Maybe I'm just being a cow here?

Now, let's speak about the real star of the show.... A FUCKING MAGICAL HOUSE FRIEND??? YESSSSSSS. IF YOU ARE AN ILONA ANDREWS INNKEEPERS CHRONICLES FAN, U WILL LOVE! How was the animation of this somehow more touching than all of nesta's other friendships combined? Exactly what I ordered, thank you. This trope somehow touches more than any material bonding!! The cute witch x house dynamic (also maybe howls moving castle vibes?) I loved the trying to reach the target of 10,000 steps (a little Celaena HOF). I think this, heir of fire and acomaf are my favourite SJM books for this reason. Gripes: I definitely had some personal gripes with how other members of the inner circle treated Nesta (rhys i'm looking at you. Disappointed doesn't even cover it.) I inherently take offence to any elain scene, as i'm so over bland characters whose existence is reduced to wanting to fucking plant flowers?? like?? really? To go from moriel to that is such a downgrade, even if I fell out of love with Mor due to the way she snubbed Nesta (you're a 500 year old being and you can't see someone is clearly traumatised?). I adore Az so much, but if it aint polyamorous, I cannot see any pairing with Elain making me happy. (wouldn’t mind gwyn though) I think the whole mating bond that I do not want is a good dynamic, but I really hate that everyone has to be mates in this world. I don't think we were that surprised, but it would've been nice if the somehow, idk, developed a strong bond over time, without it being preordained? Like, even if they do not all actively stay with their mate, given how disproportionate mates are among the general population, what's the likelihood 6 members of the inner circle (including lucien) have mates?

My advice? Read this book if you love nessian and the acotar world in general, but don't expect the world building to be consistent with greater fantasy series'. This style of story is obviously what to expect. She writes what she likes, and if her fantasy is this - then who are we, as readers, to expect otherwise?

Final rating: 4.5 (no, i'm not objective, but objectivity does not exist if you are a real, human being, lol)

Original Characters: 5/5 (nessian/az/house wise) 1/5 (feysand - really over how they essentially take over the very end of the book - ugh, I wanted nesta's arc to be wholly separate from them) Writing style: 3.5 Cringe Scale: Low, with the exception of some dialogue. New Characters: 2 Plot: I went into it with a 2 and came out with a 4. Not in terms of complexity, but in terms of how addictive and enjoyable this reading experience was! (less)

#acofas #sjm #sarah j maas #acotar #nesta #nesta archeron #nessian

[rigelmejo]

Reflection on Japanese Progress (so far)

I wanted to make something more coherent on my thoughts on how my japanese progress has gone lately, because in some ways its better than I expected. I think part of it has to do with better study methods being used right now compared to the first time I studied japanese, but another large part of it I think is my experience with chinese affecting my japanese. 

Prior Japanese Progress (2.5 years)

When I first studied Japanese seriously I took 1 college class, then continued to self study. Generally 30 minutes to 1 hour per day, some weeks/months no study, sometimes more study. I studied like this for 2 years. Then the final portion, year 2 - 2.5, I immersed and studied more like 2 hours per day and that’s when I saw the fastest progress as far as milestones. 

The reasons my progress went so slow up until year 2 are pretty clear to me. I had very little study time per day and japanese simply takes a lot more hours to hit milestones than french. The other thing slowing me down is that japanese has few cognates with english (compared to french). 

When I read The Word Brain recently, it said for languages similar each other (like english/french) you need to learn around 5000 new words, and for less similar languages like chinese and japanese you need to learn 15,000. So for Japanese I needed to learn more words before I could hit the same milestones of “read a comic ok with a dictionary” or “read a comic comfortably without a dictionary” or “read the news with only occasional word lookups” etc. French having more cognates and similarities benefited me quickly - I could start reading comfortable with occassional dictionary look up (and follow the overall main idea fine) after learning ~500 words. For Japanese, I was expecting the same kind of results from a few hundred words when that wasn’t realistic. 

I also remember I held myself back a lot with Japanese - I didn’t want to learn more words until I’d learned 1000+ kanji lol. Guess who never did. The closest I got was I borrowed a Tuttle book from the library and learned the meanings of 300 kanji. I tried Heisig’s RTK book and barely learned any, I never got past a couple hundred. I tried KKLC and my tendency to “over memorize until I’m perfect” meant I also never got past a couple hundred. In 2 years, I knew a few hundred words and a few hundred kanji, and it was not nearly enough to hit the same milestone I’d hit in French in 6 months with 500 words. 

I didn’t make progress until year 2 in studying japanese, when I started Nukemarine’s Memrise LLJ decks and got through around 500 kanji, 500 other words, and a few hundred example sentences. It’s not surprising in retrospect that its at that point when I saw the same milestone I hit in french 5 months in. I finally had ~1500 ish words I knew from various resources. 3 times as many words as I knew in french when I could hit the same milestone (very basic reading skills with a dictionary of overall main idea). 

At year 2 I made another major change that helped a lot - I started immersing. Before that, I’d “assumed” japanese would be too hard until I “learned more kanji, more words” and basically refused to challenge myself. But I learn best by doing. I remember best by doing things that make what I’m learning necessary to know. So immersion helped a LOT, it made remembering kanji much easier because I constantly needed them, it made picking up words easier too because I had reasons to know them. 

I also started using more audio materials. It wasn’t a significant part of my study, but I remember I’d started using JapaneseAudioLessons.com’s lessons. I did 20 of them during that time period. What was useful, is I was practicing listening (which I later learned in Chinese really helps me specifically remember things better), and I had found a study method I could do when walking or doing other things. I’m very bad at sticking to flashcards or apps, which is why I always burn out on srs flashcard courses after a few weeks to a month. But just listening to files? If I manage to remember to, I don’t get burned out as easy, and its a good way for me to review and do new study regularly when I can’t carve out the time to sit down. Also again - in retrospect I think listening helps me learn a LOT better, which is something I didn’t really realize about myself until studying chinese later. But I think the regular audio exposure of japanese from year 2 - 2.5 helped a lot. Just like when I started japanese, my beginner college class made us listen to dialogues and shadow them constantly - which really helped.

So in retrospect, year 2 to 2.5 I made the quickest progress in japanese because I started prioritizing learning a LOT of words over learning them ‘perfect,’ and I got willing to just challenge myself and actually use the language regularly by trying to read manga and play a video game. I also realized at that time, that japanese was going to need more hours of study on a regular basis if I wanted a faster progress rate.

After 2.5 years, I stopped studying japanese. Because I was going to school full time, working 50 hours a week, and I knew I had no time for it. 

During the study gap (2+ years)

I only engaged in japanese a little bit during the break where I no longer actively studied it. Every few months I’d try to read a manga - either one of mine or ones I found in thrift stores. I think I was hoping that like my french, reading once in a while would maintain it. But I knew a lot more french before I went down to not studying and only reading occasionally. So I did lose a lot of japanese. 

I stopped remembering some verb endings, although in the middle of reading I could still recall a lot of them in context okay and understand what they meant. I forgot some particles - which again came back ok while I was reading. Word order I somewhat forgot. Hiragana-only words I FORGOT the most. Kanji for the most part I managed to keep remembering, so I suppose reading helped me keep remembering them. I am not sure if this occasional reading helped me review japanese year quicker and get back to progressing from where I left off. 

The most noticeable thing was when I started learning Chinese, about 1 year after stopping Japanese. When I started learning chinese, some of the hanzi I learned ended up making manga more comprehensible to me. I remember maybe 6 months into chinese study, japanese manga (especially easy ones like School Rumble, Ranma 1/2, fan comics) had started to get understandable enough that I could sometimes follow chapter main overall ideas without a dictionary. So not the specific details - although sometimes I could pick up a few. But I didn’t need a dictionary to follow the main idea with simple manga anymore. Whereas at 2.5 years into study, I could follow the main overall idea of some simple manga chapters with a dictionary - that was the extent of my reading comprehension. So this was a significant improvement, a milestone I noticed. I know chinese hanzi study was indirectly benefiting my japanese reading skill a little bit. 

In retrospect, I think it was giving me more ‘near cognates’ to rely on when reading. Since I didn’t know the new japanese words, but knowing the meaning if it were a hanzi gave me an idea of what to Guess the word might mean in the context of a manga chapter I was reading. Which helped a lot compared to having no information at all to rely on to figure out new words. With french, so much having latin and english similarity gave me a lot more tools when I was trying to figure out new words in context. So I think hanzi knowledge in the same kind of way was giving me more information, more related meanings, to pull from and make guesses. For me, that kind of information helps a lot when I study. its how I learned a lot of words in english - I’d relate them to english words I already knew, that they seemed similar to or written with something in common etc. So I could finally start relying on the same strategies I am more used to using for vocabulary figuring-out in japanese.

Current Japanese Progress (picking it up after a couple years gap)

I started trying to study japanese again I think in March or April 2021 - the exact month’s on this blog somewhere. So that’s 4 months as of now that I’ve studied japanese again. It took about 1 month to review the information I already knew - I just reread the beginning portion of Tae Kim’s grammar guide, and did the old lessons I’d done before in Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks. 

At the very start of review, I just reread the intro of Japanese in 30 Hours (which I’ve read before), and listened to the first 15 lessons in japanese pimsleur. This was all audio or romaji so I didn’t confuse it with chinese. And it reminded me of the particles and general basic grammar. This mainly-audio portion of review was easy to just do while I was walking or playing video games. 

After that, I went and reviewed old words and specific grammar using Tae Kim and Nukemarine’s memrise decks (which had text). 

Then I was doing new stuff.

I had a goal to play a video game within a few months of restarting japanese - I met that goal about a month after reviewing. So May I think? I wrote down the exact month in previous blog posts. 

It was easier than during my initial study at 2.5 years. It was still intense and draining though lol. However, I realized I didn’t actually need a dictionary to follow any main ideas. The biggest issue was either taking a long time to read for detail directions (very draining mentally), or trying to speed read for key info so I could get to a save point faster (draining mentally because I have less info and time to comprehend the info I’m reading). Anyway, not needing any dictionary for following the main overall ideas was a HUGE difference from my last japanese comprehension milestone at 2.5 years into study.

I am pretty sure its hanzi recognition that really boosted my reading comprehension in japanese. I know around ~1500-2000 hanzi in chinese right now, and a decent amount more I can comprehend pretty well if they’re in compound hanzi words (so context clues to figure out which word the ‘unknown’ hanzi is making the new compound word) since I read in chinese a lot. So in japanese, many of the most common kanji are similar to hanzi I’ve already learned well, and a lot of the compound kanji words are also pretty easy to guess a meaning for. And when the kanji doesn’t mean the same thing as the hanzi would, the prior context I have for these video games such as setting (and some knowledge of them in english playthroughs) and a similar-hanzi’s usual general meanings, means I can usually guess what the new japanese word might mean. Like japanese uses some kanji for somewhat different meanings than chinese (but a speech radical still means its probably talking related) then I can figure out from the scene how it might be a different speech-related word etc. 

This past month, June 2021, I did two more things that boosted my japanese comprehension.

1. I’m playing a video game now that I know the story of really well. So I know the english lines almost by heart for most scenes, so if I don’t know a word in a sentence or don’t know the grammar pattern going on? I have a much better chance of figuring out what it might be. As a result I’m comprehending nearly all the details and words, nearly all the grammar roughly, so there’s very few portions of the game that I’m running into where I don’t have a good guess about every single part of a sentence or at least nearly everything. It’s Kingdom Hearts 2 I’m playing, and I am not surprised lol to realize I played that game So Much growing up I really do know all the lines by heart once I see them. KH2 is the game I initially played 2 years into studying japanese, and could somehow manage to function playing - probably because I know the game so well. So now? Now of course its the first japanese video game where I can follow nearly every part of it in japanese. It’s? A fun experience?? It’s kind of bizarre to me?

This is my favorite game, THE game when I was little that initially made me want to learn japanese. The game I wanted to play in japanese one day and understand and get to see the differences. It is an odd experience to be actually DOING what I wanted to do since I was 11. Over half of my life I’ve wanted to play this game in japanese! ToT I learned to draw people because of this game! It is absolutely surreal to me to be able to DO it. To be doing it. 

Anyway back to study reflections ToT

2. Katakana english cognates and near cognates are galore in KH2 which makes navigation and playing easier than it could be, and my hanzi knowledge also helps with a lot more ‘near cognates’ I can recognize now compared to when I played 2 years into study. Reading Tae Kim’s grammar guide and Cure Dolly (and @yue-muffin telling me iru gets used like ‘ing’ in verbs like ‘doing’ versus to do) also have made the grammar somewhat easier to parse.

2. Clozemaster has ultimately been helping a lot. Clozemaster is definitely a contributing factor to having made KH2 easier to play for DETAIL understanding. I’ve been reading manga lately - which helped me practice parsing grammar in real life versus in textbooks a bit. Grammar and formality in manga like Yotsuba is informal and has these like slang-mood endings to sentences that I never see in grammar books I’ve read or in Nukemarine’s memrise decks (because they’re made from learner materials). But manga is easy to figure out context now, so I was getting used to grammar used in Reality. 

Clozemaster is actually really good for practicing this too - and like with french or chinese, I think an upper beginner will be able to use it much better than a beginner. It changes formality, it changes how much slang is in a sentence or how polite, at random. Not all the translations are literal. You need a basic comprehension already to use clozemaster sentences somewhat. I did 632 sentences in clozemaster this past week. That was a LOT of practice with actual words regularly used in sentences, in dialogue, in various levels of formality and with words being hiragana or kanji depending on the specific sentence. So when I started KH2 again? Now a lot of endings that seem to convey moods, and words that I struggled with (like ‘a lot’ ‘always’ ‘because of’ ‘from’ ‘until’ ‘but’ ‘kedo’ ‘dakadesu’ ‘dakada’ etc) I am more used to following what they mean in a sentence. I’ve just seen a LOT of examples of them. Clozemaster also highlights verb endings sort of like their own ‘helper verb’ and while I don’t know if its actually grammatically true, it helps conceptualize stuff like verb tenses for me a lot easier. So now I am having an easier time recognizing them attached to verb stems, and recognizing the point the conjugation is getting across. 

The main thing though is its just a lot of very focused practice on recognizing words and grammar in the context of regular sentences instead of learner material. Learner material tends to show one aspect at a time, not mix lots of things together since its giving examples, etc. Clozemaster does mix up the examples a lot - but while still generally having an easier ‘difficulty curve’ than an actual web novel or visual novel etc. Clozemaster will have a lot going on in a sentence but it will all be very common basic stuff where at most half is new stuff, and eventually only 1 is a new thing. Whereas if I just dived into regular materials it could be a bunch of “I know very little” sentences. Manga is good practice for this too - its just you see less text per minute in manga. In Clozemaster you see a lot of text and its generally at my reading level so it feels ‘graded’ but less learner-material perfected, which in this case makes it good for getting used to the variety. I think overall THAT is how Clozemaster is helping right now. Its also helping because of common words - but a lot of what I’ve seen so far has been review too, so I think its the exposure to different sentences and odd things in them that’s been most helpful in translating to making video games feel a bit easier.

I’ve been doing the “most common” word tracks in Clozemaster’s japanese lessons, and I think they’re more useful to me immediately than the JLPT track. The fast track is kind of useful, but it doesn’t expose me to as many sentences to really drill aspects. I took someone’s advice and have been doing listening mode, so I listen then listen a few times and identify words THEN read it and answer the cloze. They also said to do the full ‘most common words’ tracks, and so far that advice has been good. The JLPT track is good too - and matches up more with words I had to learn in my other lessons and textbooks, combined with more complex sentences with more stuff going on in them at once than some learner materials. But since I’m trying to study to understand japanese games, not take the JLPT, I think right now that track less useful to me. In the Common Words track I immediately learned a lot of ‘filler’ words that imply meanings and are important but weren’t in my textbooks, even though I hear them constantly when watching things or playing games. So because of that, right now I’m sticking to the common words track. 

Summary: using kingdom hearts 2 is a good immersion material right now since I know the context well, it feels almost ‘graded’ for me since I can comprehend it much easier than other things I know less well (like Crisis Core which I love but requires much more focus and is more mentally draining since I have to re-figure out the initial context of scenes before i can focus on what the specific words mean). And using audio materials, clozemaster, has helped. Also just... I was wondering why lately handling japanese stuff has been easier (compared to previously for me) and I think a huge part of it is that for me hanzi knowledge really helped give me more near-cognates from kanji i can rely on now. Which makes japanese seem much less opaque as far as me trying to use context clues to understand things and learn new words. And since I prefer to learn by DOING, its valuable to me that now I have enough surrounding context and context-hints from kanji to start learning by guessing words in context a bit more. Also, in KH2′s case a huge benefit is the large amount of katakana words that I know what they’re meant to be in english, which are pretty much cognates, and both recognizing kanji a bit and also knowing the rough-english they Should be corresponding to (if its different than the chinese hanzi meaning). 

I’m going to keep playing KH2 lets see if its the first Game I can finish in Japanese (which it may well be lol). Also I just... genuinely think that for myself, among the other things I learned about How I personally learn through the years of trying to learn this, I think for me learning some chinese first really helped. 

I know books I used to have used to encourage me to learn kanji first, but that always just ended up holding me back from studying more because I just could Not handle a kanji with no sound attached solidly in my mind. And then when I did brute force just study words anyway, it helped, but I still had a much fuzzier way of handling and relating to kanji. And in general just was learning them from nothing as a prior basis.

With chinese, just one sound matched to most hanzi really like clicks with how I remember? And when there are pronunciation changes in my brain it just clicks a lot more like how english word-parts change pronunciation depending on the word - it makes a kind of pattern sense to me I guess? And the logic of sound+meaning for most hanzi formations means I finally get why certain radicals are in things - because it got simplified, or used to hint at sound, since they don’t All have all radicals relating to meaning only. Whereas when I studied kanji prior all the books would try to get me to associate all the radicals with meaning (but sometimes if a radical in hanzi come from a sound they don’t have to do with the meaning). And I guess it was just so much harder for me to stick the information solidly in my brain.

Now? Now I’m finding putting kanji pronunciations to different words is making a bit more sense to me. Like I already have a base to attach it to, so its less hard to add “this extra pronunciation for japanese word X” rather than just “this ONE pronunciation for this BRAND NEW kanji+hiragana word!” Because attaching an extra pronunciation to something I Already know? Is not too hard - I did it in english word-parts for my whole life, I did it with hanzi occasionally in chinese. So now attaching sounds to kanji feels more like something I’m used to doing and know how to do - instead of learning lots of new stuff with no idea how to mash it together and remember it. 

Also now the ‘chinese like’ pronunciations for some words stick out to me much clearer in japanese, since I can tell when the pronunciation is similar to a hanzi in chinese versus not. Which makes those words much easier to remember, those pronunciations easier to remember, and it much easier for my brain to distinguish between ‘when to use this pronunciation versus another for this kanji.’ Also just grammar of course, knowing how the pronunciation changes in different forms also helps make it easier to think ‘ok this might be why the kanji sound changed when this verb is in a new conjugation.’   

I just. If I would have told myself over 2 years ago that 1. I’d even learn some chinese, and 2. it would help my japanese this much (to a noticeable amount) I would have been really ???

Another thing I think helped is a Decent Solid sound base in chinese - I generally have a sound associated to all hanzi already that I know so I do not ‘confuse’ them with japanese words. Which would definitely happen if my listening wasn’t as solid. I worked on chinese listening a lot the past few months and it helped a LOT with keeping the languages as very distinctly different so I don’t mix up kanji/hanzi (also the fact kanji don’t have tones the same way helps me separate the sound when I hear so I don’t mix up what I’m listening to, which if me listening wasn’t as practiced I think mixing up would happen more - tones really help me clearly keep my brain from even thinking I’m hearing chinese when I see a kanji and hear pronunciation).

#rant #june #june progress #july #july progress #i'll make a proper finished post later. this is a draft #so i can look at it if im curious later

[electricbluebutterflies]

things that could go wrong today (aka points for my recap post in 12ish hours when I get home):

1. I will be wearing an ensemble involving a lightweight-ish velvet skirt in 90 degree heat. I do not do SUMMER looks, I am at peace with my risks here.

2. Also a wig for ~5 hours, which I haven’t done in a year and a half, and the last time I wore this one was a particular cursed costume three years ago.

3. One of the event organizers, let’s call her K here, is... not one of my favorite people for a bouquet of reasons. K is unfortunately married to a People People who I DO like on a human level, so dealing with her is an unfortunate side detail here. K is why, in a world where 2020 had been a different kind of trashfire, I would’ve taken most of that year off from events. I do not like this woman. I do not need to fight someone twentyish years older than me and twice my size, but that is possibility.

4. I have recently been given reason to suspect that another person involved, let’s call her A, was the person who tried to spread some rumors about me a couple years ago. (No one else has the right combo of overlapping connections + motive, and A has struck me as kinda snakey in the past.) I want to figure out whether she actually did that, and if yes then that could get messy. Alternatively, she’s apparently wearing a leather bodysuit today so I may just let her barbecue herself and let cosmic payback get her without my help.

So... this’ll be fun. Actually less possible disasters than my usual cosplay adventures, and I have my emergency kit all prepped so that’ll at least help me make friends...

#ebf versus cosplay