#((im still extremely drained. and not all the way better ><))

[sakamaki-richter]

Daily Reminder, Day Four —

❝ Knock, knock, fufu. I'm here once again, just as I finished drafting your special reminder for today. Please, go ahead... It's all yours to read; I overheard you were a poet, so I thought you might appreciate this sonnet I wrote...〜 ❞

Akin to iced moonlight swaying o’er Whispered waves surfacing the pale seascape, His cheeks; ne’er as burnt as crimson clovers, Unblemish’d, un-kiss’d, though his love agape. Blood so dry, deep, doth His irises burn; Engulfed by dying embers of passion For one who gives nought, yet still does He yearn, Yet Her clemency’s cruel ― His soul, ashen. In spite, with Monarchical grace and will, May He oppose His foes, triumph ordain’d; If sought, apace with Him will she stand ‘til The last sunset stains all amber, curtain’d. Though she is not Her, and not Her is she, Separate she loves Him, a pure love it be.

Whenever he glanced upon from the page, it's already too late. She - red face and all - has disappeared, not to be seen again until tomorrow.

(( this is cringey uggghhhh i wrote this whole sonnet >< but the second half of it kind of fell apart i feel T-T ANYWAY WHINNN!! Please only answer this whenever you feel up to it! I won't send anymore after this until you're feeling better and you're back, because I don't want to clog your inbox!! Please take care of yourself, ily ♥️ ))

((hello yes i’m finally answering this and i just gotta say: richter move over it’s my turn to receive a sonnet from ava 🙄🙄 nah but ava you wrote. a whole ass sonnet. FOR THIS MAN??? man he’s so lucky rn. and it was so good 😭😭😭. AND DW. you can send in your daily reminders whenever you feel like :)). i’m a bit slower on replying. but feel free to send stuff in still!! ily ♥️ ))

❝ Well now. You’ve written an entire piece, all for me? I do hope you’ve done your best, or I may just critique this work of yours.❞

The man held the poem in his hands, eyes scanning over each line carefully in order to get the most out of what was written. Richter would dare say he was a bit impressed with what he was given, yet the only indication be dared to give being the slight raise of his eyebrows.

Yet when he went to look back up, his little admirer was gone. What a pity, leaving before he had the chance to respond like that. He couldn’t help but sigh as a response, his features softening up as he looked at the poem once more.

❝ How cruel… Making me wait like this…❞

Folding the paper delicately, he slipped it into his pocket. He’ll keep this one safe…

( ❛ I guess I’ll have to see what tomorrow brings… What a shame… ❜ )

#asks #the-most-diabolik-of-lovers #ava 💜 #ava’s daily reminders 💜 #richter sakamaki #sakamaki richter #((GOD THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO. been sitting in my drafts for days.)) #((im still extremely drained. and not all the way better ><)) #((but im at least feeling better than yesterday!!)) #((richter very quickly became a comfort character so making content for him >>>>>>> )) #((anyways learning to write poetry so he can send YOU one in response 😤😤))

[samkerrworshipper]

Would you please be able to write something about you getting the call up for the WC and calling Sam afterwards crying. Just lots of fluff xx

Thank you

the phone call | sam kerr x lionesses reader

sorry my lovelies… i’m still yet to leave bed because of this pain flare up

sorry if i’m not interacting with your messages and kind words.. trying to limit my screen time but i promise im seeing them all and it means the world to me

for now you all get some little drabbles that are sitting in my drafts xo

It’s 6pm.

The calls were supposed to start going out at 4 and it’s 6.

You’re paralysed, stuck to your spot on the couch, your feet anxiously tied up in the blanket draped over you as you stare down at your phone, patiently awaiting a call.

It hasn’t been an easy ride to get to this point, almost a year ago you were lying in a hospital bed, unmoving and unsure whether you’d ever walk again, let alone be in contention to play football for your country.

You’ve worked your ass off, tens of hundreds of hours in the gym, rehabbing, working on your strength, all for this call.

You know realistically that the longer you’re left waiting, the longer that your chances are depleting.

Coaches make the easiest calls first, the starting eleven, then their moving bench, players who will still get plenty of time on the pitch, then they move onto the maybe players, players whose skill sets might be needed depending on the team, then it’s onto the emergency players, then it’s the fillers, players that are just kind of on the squad because of courtesy, even though the chances that they will play is next to nothing.

In your mind, you fall into some place between the last two, Sarina doesn’t owe you anything though, the last time you played for her was the Euro’s semi final, when everything went to shit for you and sure, you’ve worked hard since then, but sometimes hard work isn’t always enough, especially in the world of soccer politics.

You sent Sam out of the house to run some errands half an hour ago, insisting you would be fine, but right now you wished you hadn’t, because there is nothing you need more than to be cuddled up in your fiancé’s arms.

She’s been there for you every single step of the way, quite literally being the person who helped you walk your first steps after surgery.

The road has been tough for the both of you, and you know there is nothing Sam wants more than for you to be with her in Australia over the Summer.

If it isn’t meant to be, then it isn’t, you’ll be there anyways on the sidelines supporting her but there is something so much more satisfying about knowing that you might get to be on the pitch beside her.

You don’t know what you’ll do if you are back in the squad, sure you’ve been to the last two camps, but being named in the actual squad is something else, especially for the world cup, it would mean the whole world to you.

Your thoughts are enough to drain out the ping from messages, but the desperate vibration in your hands isn’t.

Your eyes dart down to the screen, bursting open like you’d just consumed a energy drink when Sarina’s name pops up on your screen.

‘If you have a spare minute would love to chat whenever your free.’

You’ve been free since 12pm last night, sleep didn’t come for you, instead you’d sat by the phone, waiting for any kind of notification.

Sam had tried her hardest to pry you away, forcing you to come on a morning run with her, which was extremely abnormal, neither you or Sam where runners, but you assumed it was just your girlfriend trying to make you feel a little bit better.

You typed at your phone like a mad man, unwilling to miss this precious window that seemed to have opened for you, you didn’t even had the chance to actually think about Sarina actually calling you, too busy furiously tapping at the keyboard on your phone.

‘Free to chat whenever suits you’

You didn’t have much time to look at your text, mere seconds after the bubble went blue Sarina’s contact was popping up on your screen.

You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do much more than aggressively tap the green button and watch as the call connected and Sarina’s face popped up on your screen.

“Y/n, good to see you, how’s your day been? I’ve been told there is quite a storm in London today?”

You don’t want to talk about weather, or this as trivial as how your day is going, but you put a smile on for Sarina anyways, a cute little smile that you normally save for press conferences after a particularly bad match or rough game.

“Sarina, it’s an honour as always, I’m doing well thanks, the weather is definitely shocking but we’re used to it, how’s it doing in the Netherlands?”

Sarina smiles at you, and it makes you feel a little bit uneasy, why can’t she just rip the bandaid off.

“It’s nice today, blue skies. How’s Sam? I don’t know if I had the chance to congratulate you on your engagement yet.”

You put on another little smile, trying to act like the nerves growing in your stomach aren’t bubbling up so badly that you feel as if you’re about to vomit.

“Sam’s good, we’re very happy, I’ve sent her out to get groceries which I’m regretting because she hasn’t got a clue what we need.”

Sarina laughs heartily, and it’s almost enough to make you feel a little bit better about the whole situation.

“Well I hope she’ll be happy to know that you’ll be in Australia over the Summer playing for England, if you’d like?”

All thoughts in your brain are cut off when you catch onto what Sarina is saying and then all of a sudden you can feel the tears building up in the back of your eyes.

“You’re serious? You want me in Australia?”

Sarina just laughs once again.

“You were part of our winning Euro’s team y/n, there is nothing I would love more than to welcome you back. You are a crucial part of our defence, especially with Leah missing and there is nothing we need more than your leadership. You’ve been fantastic on the pitch recently, both club and at camp, if you keep performing as you are, I think you’ll be very deserving of taking your place back in the starting eleven, how does that sound?”

You have to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from sobbing.

“Thank you so much Sarina, you genuinely don’t know how much this means to me, I’ll prove to you everyday that I deserve to be there and I’ll do whatever I can on and off the pitch to help the team.”

Sarina just smiles to herself.

“I don’t doubt that at all, all I ask is that you try your hardest, I’ll let you go now y/n, have a good couple of weeks, I’ll see you at the airport.”

Before you can embarrass yourself any further, you're wishing Sarina farewell and pressing the red button at the bottom of your screen.

It takes a few seconds for it all to set in for you, the happenings of your phone call slowly sinming into your brain.

It’s when it all sinks in that you realise tears are still dripping down your face, and before you can think about it too hard your searching for Sam’s contact and clicking the call button.

To Sam’s credit, it takes about three seconds before your girlfriends face pops up on your screen.

“I think I might need a shopping list- baby why are you crying?”

Just looking at Sam makes you perk up a little bit, she’s all flustered which you don’t see very often.

“Sarina called, I’m in the squad, she wants me in the squad.”

Just saying it creates a whole other wave of emotions of flowing, and this time you don’t even try to stop the sobs leaving your mouth.

Sam lights up immediately.

“Baby, that is awesome, I’m not surprised at all, I’m leaving the shops now, I’ll be home in five minutes we can talk about it then, hmm?”

You nod eagerly, a big smile breaking out across its face.

“I’m so proud of you babe, you’ve worked so hard for this, I’ll be home in a couple of minutes, okay?”

You just nod at Sam, far to giddy to do much besides jerk your head up and down like a energised puppy.

You weren’t quite sure what the future held for your Summer in Australia, but you that no matter what, no matter the injuries, setbacks, bad games, Sam would be there for you through it all, she’d be there for you, no matter what side of the dug out you were sitting on.

#woso #woso community #lionesses #sam kerr imagine #on my knees for sammy k #i love sam kerr #samantha may #sam kerr x reader #sam kerr #sam kerr is daddy #sweet sam #woso imagines #woso imagine #woso one shot #woso fanfics #woso soccer #woso couples

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

HI ANY TIPS ON BEING THE NEW KID AT A NEW SCHOOL

GENERALLY GETTING ANXIETY ATTACKS LOL

ALSO I LOVE YR BLOG SMM

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Doll tips! ; Being the New Kid!! 🎀⭐️

Tip #1 ; Taking a Breath now speaking from experience being the new kid at school is very nerve racking ik ive done it so many times and just sitting back and just breathing snd relaxing can definitely help just calm you down!!

Tip #2 ; Making a Good Impression!! now for this one i not saying you have to be the most outgoing person ever bc it can be overwhelming especially if you have social anxiety or you just have trouble with interacting!! but definitely being as polite as possible can definitely help you in the long run!!! ⭐️

Tip #3 ; Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself

now since you are new to the school you may or may not have to introduce yourself and ik how nerve racking this can be but doing a simple “Hi! I’m _” is really good if you don’t wish to speak then a simple smile and wave is also just as good!!!

Tip #4 ; Recruiting Friends!!

if you wanna be friends with a particular person try going up to them and saying hi to them also helping people with something is a way to get to know a person or having desk/table mates is like a gold mine for making friends with people !!!

Tip #5 ; Not Everyone is a nice person

if you can tell someone is a mean person stay away from them have little to no contact with this person its will save you all the energy and time because people like this can be extremely draining trust ik that!

Tip #6 ; Be nice but don’t be a pushover

obviously being nice is ESSENTIAL but never let someone cross your boundaries or disrespect you call them out on it don’t make a huge scene obviously but definitely let them know that you’re setting a boundary and if they cross again then cut this person off because obviously they don’t respect your boundaries!!

Tip #7 ; Don’t be a Bystander!!

if you see someone getting bullied say something about it,defend them or just ask them if they’re okay being a bystander to the problem makes you part of the problem as well!!!

Tip #8 ; Don’t let others bring you down

again with making boundaries never let someone cross you or make snarky remarks call them out on it and remember this person words obviously don’t matter what other people say doesn’t define you

Tip #9 ; Join a Club!!

joining a club can be an amazing way to make friends while also doing something you enjoy and over all its just an amazing activity!!

Tip #10 ; Don’t overshare!!!

unless you genuinely trust a person don’t overshare because people switch up and anything you say can and will be used against you!

Tip #11 ; Have Main Character mindset

even if you have zero confidence fake it till you make it!! walk with good posture and some pep in ur step!!🎀

Tip #12 ; If u have a group assignment don’t do all the work

omg i can’t stress this enough only do your part if someone is failing to do their part don’t do it for them let them fail thats their own fault

Tip #13 ; Being popular isn’t everything!

social hierarchy in high school or middle school (idk what grade ur in im sorry!!) is so bleak okay being popular isn’t everything i mean sure by some chance you’ll be popular but still you don’t HAVE to fit in because ur made to stand out

Tip #14 ; Channel ur inner Elle Woods & Cher Horowitz

* apply ur self in ur academics

* if you need help ask its not a bad thing to need help!!

* Make an Organizer to stay in top of ur work!!

* STUDY!! STUDY!! STUDY!!

* if you have an assignment with a rubric read it carefully to ensure you can get the highest grade possible!!

* if you unhappy with your grade or feel like you should’ve gotten a better one ask your teacher to review!!!

* wear cute clothes and style ur hair neatly not to for the lookism esque obviously but looking ur best and feeling your best are definitely good ways to feel better!!! 🎀⭐️

* have a “what? like its hard?” mindset

* Don’t Judge!!

* Pursue ur dreams!!

* Don’t be afraid of a challenge

* Be yourself!!

Tip #15 ; Don’t Leave people out!!!

say ur in a group setting and you see one particular person being left out and not getting their chance to speak make them feel welcome ask them about what they were gonna say and include them into the conversation!!!

Tip #16 ; Eat what makes you happy and don’t yuck someones yum

if someone has a cultural dish for their lunch DON’T EVER make them feel bad about it don’t care what it is that loser behavior! also eat the kind of food that makes you feel good inside and that nourishes your body i definitely suggest packing a lunch the night before!!!

Tip #17 ; Don’t hang around Slackers!!

be friends with people that actually apply themselves in their academic and working for what they want!!!

I love you anon i hope you do AMAZING at ur new school!!! 🎀⭐️

#the advice column with dolly 🎀⭐️ #it girl #wonyoungism #self care #self improvement #self love #elle woods #cher horowitz #dream girl #pink pilates princess #dollygirl #dolly #2sweet2eat🎀🧁 #girl blog aesthetic #girl blogging

[rainthespiritual]

Omg for your pre-death Tate fanfic maybe you could do them as friends at childhood and they slowly drift apart and y/n sorta forgets about Tate but he thinks about her everyday and then she catches him doing cocaine or cutting himself in the school bathroom and y/n realises Tate needs support so she be's that for him and stuff

pt 1 , pt 2

PRE-DEATH TATE LANGDON FIC

Okay im kind of really proud of this fic ITS SO GOOD (or maybe I'm just delusional... anywaysss.)

btw some trigger warnings for the series as a whole are deffinetly: drug abuse , depression , suicide , and topics similar to that even if they don't show up in this specific part THEY WILL EVENTUALLY so I just want yall to be warned ty

TRIGGER WARNINGS : tate langdon is a tw tbh and American horror story in general, smoking, talk of abusive dad and family slightly(it'll be talked abt more in other parts), angst, this part is more tame that the other parts will be and thats all... for now.

Summery: Y/n stumbles into the bathroom only to find old childhood friend Tate...

also sorry if formatting is shit I'm using my phone fml

You walk with your friends down the hall you've seen again and again, tuning them out almost completely like usual. They talk a lot of shit about people you don’t even know. And while gossip can be fun, they are just over the top with it. Every day, it seems they’ve found another thing to complain about.

"___ are you even listening? This is way serious!" you look towards them bags under your eyes they didn't even notice, they never ask or worry about you but expect all of that from you. It was extremely draining, and you often wondered why you still hung around them. But the fear of being alone was stronger than the need to be treated better. You didn’t have anyone else.

"oh no sorry, I was thinking about the project I have to do for Mrs.Ross. Hey, you guys go ahead of me I gotta head to the powder room real quick.." they try talking to you more but you manage to peel yourself away from them as fast as you can, basically sprinting to the bathroom.

You fall sitting on the floor releasing a sigh, glad you could now get a moment of peace and silence.

"___?" your eyes dart open hearing a familiar voice.. a familiar male voice.. in the girl's bathroom?

"Tate? what- what are you doing in here?" you look at him, slightly shocked. You hadn’t spoken to him in what seemed like forever. But truthfully, it had only been a couple of years, well maybe more than that, but long enough for him to have grown. He looks less like a boy, and more like a man now.

"I mean, I should probably be asking you that.. this is the boys' bathroom." He smiles slightly and you notice he's sitting on the counter where the sinks are.

"oh, I- I must have come in the wrong one. I'm sorry.." you look at him again, noticing how much older he looks than when you last saw him. Well, you saw him in the halls and even smiled or waved at him slightly, but you never really talked to him.

"ahh, it's fine. No one else is here just me. I think everyone's in class or at least getting there. The bells are about to ring." he smiles again wiping his nose slightly sniffling it, and you wonder why. ‘Maybe it's allergies’ you think.

"What are you doing up there?" You ask, signaling to the way he's sitting.

"Well, this bathroom is the least used so no one comes in usually.." mumbling a bit he avoids the question, now nervously playing with his fingers.

"I didn't know that, that doesn't answer my question tho. why sit up here?" you stand going to where he is climbing up to sit next to him.

"well just normal stuff I guess." he looks at you slightly thinking a bit before pulling a pack of cigarettes out making you gulp slightly. The only cigarettes you had encountered had been your father's. You tried smoking one when you were 13 but you immediately regretted it vowing to never smoke one again.

"you want one?" he asks smirking slightly at you.

"Oh- no thanks I don't smoke." he laughs slightly putting one in his mouth and lighting it.

"didn't think so." he inhales and puffs the smoke out and you wonder how he can do that without feeling completely ill.

"what does that even mean, I didn't think you smoked but you do so...." you fumble with your fingers slightly nervous around the now much older boy. The last time you talked to him he had to be 11. Maybe 12. It had been years, and you wondered why, why didn't we talk why did we stop being friends..

"well you look innocent, and like you've never touched anything ever." he laughs slightly, "could be wrong though." he continues smoking the cigarette, shaking the ashes from it into the sink. you assume so they can wash down.

"Well I've smoked once, I just absolutely hated it.  mostly did it to spite my dad I guess" you admit, slightly watching him.

"How old were you? you always did hate that fucker. I remember us hiding his beers and shit so he wouldn't be able to find them, he'd get so mad." He states you both laugh slightly.

"I was thirteen? Maybe fourteen. somewhere around there. and I don't hate him, he's just overly annoying all the time."

he laughs slightly thinking the way you feel about the whole thing is cute.

His eyes look you over multiple times, he is clearly taking you in. He had seen you around since the last time you talked but not this full on. Only from afar, never up close. He enjoyed seeing the way you grew into the body he once knew, the face he knew. You looked so much older now it kind of made him sad, seeing how much time had gone by. It really made him think. He wished he had talked to you or atleast tried too, but seeing you with your new friends made him nervous. He never was one to fit in with the popular crowd so he avoided you. And now he deeply regrets it realizing how stupid he was.

"Well. If I'm remembering correctly you kind of did hate him. He was an asshole to you, don't know if that's still true but.. it's what I remember so." you sigh knowing he's partially correct.

"So you're just in here to smoke? or what. I mean you could do that after school or whatever." You ask slightly to change the subject but also because you just are genuinely curious.

"Well.." he starts but stops to think looking away fumbling with his pocket slightly  and you can tell there's something inside. It seems to be a little tin but you can't be sure. "I just wanted to be alone I guess , away from the chaos that is a highschool hallway." he finishes putting his cigarette out and back in the box, you assume to finish later as you've learned from your dad. You both sit in silence for a bit and you realize how weird it is that you came to the same bathroom for the same reason, but there's also a slight comfort in the thought. Knowing you weren't the only one sick of all the noise was comforting because that meant you weren't that weird. Or at least you weren't the only weird one. Either way it made you feel a little better, and it made you wonder more and more why you let this sweet sarcastic boy go.

"That's why I came in here too, I just was.. Over it I guess. Done with being around other people.." you look away slightly avoiding his gaze, him staring at you so intensly made you nervous. Without hesitation he asks you something you don't expect.

"Do you like to be around me?" It's such a bold and forward question that you don't really expect from him. His tone is serious and you realise how much closer he is now, his eyes look into yours and you stare back. The silence says more to both of you than words ever could and it feels like forever almost, when in reality it was only like 30 seconds.

"I do yeah, I feel like you actually know me." He smiles at your words looking away for a moment taking it all in. His eyes meet yours again and he leans in closer. His eyes go to your lips and back to your eyes a couple times, and your eyes do the same.

"Excuse me is anyone in here?" Both your eyes widen slightly hearing a teacher opening the door slightly. Tate jumps off the sink now looking at the door then at you. He signals for you to hide in one of the toilet stalls, which you immediately do. You sit up on the toilet so your feet aren't seen through the slit at the bottom and you hear him start the sink. You think, 'probably to wash down the ashes'.

The teacher walks, his voice loud.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class Mister Langdon?" You cover your mouth trying to conceal your breathing, and you hope it works.

"I mean yeah but.. Y'know.." You can't see him but you assume he gestures towards the bathroom, and the teacher let's out a loud sigh.

"Uh huh, and any idea why the bathroom smells like smoke?" the teacher talks in a angry tone and you feel bad hoping he doesn't get into trouble.

"No idea sir, it smelled like that when I got here." The teacher sighs again almost like he doesn't believe him.

"Okay well come with me, I'll make sure you get to class on-time." you hear them walk out, and the door shut.

Still slightly frozen you stay for a moment  but tense up when the door opens again.

"Meet me here again tommorow, same time." you take a sigh of relief realizing it's just Tate again. With that he walks out again saying something about how he got what he left in the bathroom.

You sigh in relief again kind of asking yourself what the hell just happened. It was weird seeing how affected you were from it all day. It was all you could think about in class, and at lunch. Even at home when you were laying in bed alone, it was weird seeing how one boy you knew so long ago could effect you now. You kind of enjoyed the feeling. The anticipation. You were excited to see him the next day, and you wondered what would happen.

'I guess I'll just have to find out tomorrow..' you thought to yourself. I guess you just will.

#ahs #evan peters #ahs murder house #tate langdon fanfic #american horror story #i am cringe but i am free #Pre death tate langdon #i forgot to tag my post so i had to edit it whoops #tate langdon being an angsty king #tate is a baddie tbh #hope yall enjoy lmao #tate langdon series #tate langdon except hes not as big of a psycho as he is in ahs.. i promise #i edited it again but added a gif 😭😭😭 #tate langdon x reader #tate langdon x y/n #tate langdon x you

[tinybed]

im just going to vent post real quick because this bothers me and i just want to talk about it ok -_- this week at work i did everything i could but i’ve been feeling so mentally and emotionally drained, and physically very very drained, literally lifeless and in pain Lol. my forearms are stiff and creaky, my wrists and my fingers hurt, and my lower legs and feet hurt. it was extremely busy on sunday and monday wasnt too much better. so its been a hard week for me, on tuesday i went home and just cried a lot. and its really embarrassing because i wish i didnt feel this way and i was doing really good, but i guess my stamina is still adjusting and i had worked rly hard the past 3 weeks, so now im just kind of dealing with the effects of pushing it too far i guess. anyways yesterday one of the supervisors i rarely work with asked if i wanted to go on bar and i said yeah and he said it would be good for me to practice, and that made me feel shitty lol because i havent been practicing for a while now. i’ve been flexing between different stations and making all the drinks pretty fast, running around and being super attentive to every detail for the most part, and basically just doing everything everyone asks of me. and then later i told him im not rly practicing anymore, and he said i just need to get faster…. and that bothered me so much that i actually went upstairs and cried for a second that i had downtime :-/ it was just so discouraging, like i’ve been trying so hard and pushing myself to the limit in every way and now im burnt out emotionally and physically less mobile and i have to hear someone tell me i need to get faster despite that being the only time they have worked with me on bar? i told him my arms hurt and a co worker kinda made a joke about how lifting milk jugs is a work out for her, which eased the awkwardness a bit but clearly im still upset about it lol.

im going to keep trying and pushing forward but im worried because the amount of people we had on sunday + monday was so beyond what i feel capable of handling, and it kinda makes me feel like i suck honestly. i just worry about my future and what im going to do. i dont want to be a weak person or buckle under pressure, but im getting more and more stressed out seeing how my body cant keep up with what im doing. i’ve noticed my ability to listen and concentrate is deteriorating, i keep forgetting things. i was doing so well that i didnt even think to mention it, i was just happy with how i was progressing and proud of myself, so my confidence isnt very high now and i feel scared of what my future holds if im having this much of an issue doing something that most people would consider something anyone can do :-(

#i dont want to give up but if i cant get it together and im not seeing myself adjust then i prob will have to quit :/ i dont rly want to #i just feel awkward as fuck too like i cant talk either its like everything i say is weird #idk i’ve just been falling apart this week i hope i feel better

[ghxstlypuppet]

This was suposed to be just a comfort fic thing because i've been having a Matt brainrot lately and idk why ,but things got out of hand as they usually do for me so oopsie-

I wasn't going to post but depending on the feedback on this one i might write more.

Comfort fic • Eddsworld

Genre : kinda angst and fluff

Gender neutral reader

Warnings : a few cuss words nothing much tho

Word count : i have no idea it was like 8 or 9 pages of my phone notes

KEEP IN MIND ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO IM SORRY FOR ANY TYPOS AND STUFF LIKE THAT

~Enjoy~

You got home after a very stressful day at work, life has not been treating you well lately and you just feel drained extremely exhausted not having time to do the things you like or even to talk with your friends, you were staying at your friends house for the weekend you thought that being there with them could make you feel better , after all they always knew a way to cheer you up, when you got there tho you were greeted with nothing but silence , the boys, Edd, Tom, Matt amd Tord had all gone out to buy snacks and food even drinks for that weekend they wanted it to be special for you, you sighed after knocking on the door a few times and getting no answear so you texted them in the little group you guys had, they quickly answeared and Matt said he was going to meet you there while the others kept buying the snacks, you agreed and waited even tho you were exhausted and feeling overwhelmed, some customers had treated you terribly today and you felt that it wouldn't take much more for you to break down at any moment, you were strong and often tried not to show much of your emotions but sometimes everything was too much and you had to take it all off, you didn't noticed you were zooning out until you felt a few taps on your shoulder, you slightly jumped being caught by surprised but sighed

- Hey Matt

- Hey y/n! ...ahm..are you alright?

The tall ginger asked, he could tell something was off but he never liked to push you into talking unlike Tord he was very patient even Tom was more patient than Tord but all of them always tried to help somehow

- Uh yeah i'm fine , just tired had a lot of work..

You said forcing a smile not even noticing your eyes tearing up  a little just with Matt's simple question

- Well, alrighty then let's head inside the others will be back soon, they are just buying a lot , believe me, a lot of stuff ,edd wants to make sure that the cola will be enoughz Tom's buying doritos and smirnoff of course but he's also buying some of your favorite snacks, and even Tord was talking about buying the gummy worms that you like

- He remembered that?

- It's all he kept talking about to be honest

You asked kinda surprised , of all of them Tord was the one you talked less it was hard to get close to him for some reason. You and Matt got inside the house and you took a seat on the sofa sighing once more , Matt looked at you for a moment his expression changing to one of worry, he then approached you and sat beside you on the sofa , one of his hands patting your back gently as he spoke

- You know you can talk to me right? I worry and i care about you, me , edd, tom even tord, i know you guys aren't that close but still, you seemed a bit off since i saw you outside, it's not good to keep things inside for too long y/n..

And that was it... His gentle voice full of worry, his soft pats on your back, that was what made you start sobbing without even noticing , you grabbed the fabric of your hoodie looking down while the tears started to fall , Matt got even more worried thinking it was something he said

- H-Hey i'm sorry i didn't mea-

Before he could finish you turned around looking at him and almost jumping on the ginger for a hug , you couldn't say nothing the sobbing made your words sound like nonsense , Matt hugged you back ,a tight yet soft hug

- It's okay... i'm here and soon the others will be here too... it's gonna be alright

He said patting your back, your tears were soaking his shoulder he could feel the warmth but he just wanted to comfort you now

- I-I'm s-sorry i'm kinda soaking your coat...

You said managing to let out a giggle trying to dry your tears, you could hear Matt chuckling while he hugged you slightly more thight now, after what feel like eternity your sobs were calming down you let go of the hug

- Sorry about that...

- You say sorry waay too much you know?

- Oh.. s- I mean yeah i guess..

Matt giggled patting your hair and using the sleeves of his hoodie to dry up your face

- Are you feeling better now? Wanna talk about what happened?

- Yeah... i'm good, thank you Matt, uh i.. i don't know i'm just exhausted ,guess i can say that life had been being a bitch with me, work has been killing me , im not having time to myself, i thought i would have to cancel this weekend with you guys...

As you were talking you heard a comotion outside it was the others comming back, shit, your face was puffed you looked terrible at the same time you didn't wanted them to see you like that you also couldn't care less at that moment, you and Matt watched as the door handle turned and the door opened, you tried your best to give the boys a smile and waved at them but they were more than quick to drop everything (carefully) on the floor and the sofa and run at your directionn, Edd was the first to talk to you

-What happened? Were you crying? Why??

You laughed a bit , nodding but reassuring him that you were okay now

- It was just exhaustion but Matt helped me a lot...

You said grabbing Matt's hand and rubbing it sofly smiling at him before letting go, he blushed  bit but smiled at you , Tom was sitting on the sofa's arm beside you and he messed with your hair before saying

- Been keeping stuff for yourself again huh? You know that it's not good to do that

- Oh i wonder with who i learned to do it...

You said starring at him, you knew the boys for a few years now and ended up picking some habits from all of them, you kept starring at Tom until he said something that you couldnt make out what it was before getting up and getting some of the groceries going to the kitchen, you laughed at that before you "accidentally" crossed eyes with Tord

- What?

He said looking at you, he was never the best person to give advice or comfort but he sighed

- Don't be like this Tord

Matt said looking at Tord that sighed rolling his eyes

- Remember when you lost that bet with me and you had to go to wallmart wearing a-

Before he could finish you threw a pillow at his face, you couldn't even remember now that a few moments ago you were bawling your eyes out, he cussed you and threw the pillow back making you get up and run after him

- I bet 20 bucks that y/n can best the shit out of him

Said Tom with a amused look just observing you and Tord running around

- This is not something to bet o-

-30

Said Edd also amused by all of that chaos, they both stared at Matt , Matt looked confused for a bit , all he could focus on was on seeing you feeling better now, you were laughing -almost breaking the entire house- but you were having fun

- I am not going to participate on this...

Matt said, both Edd and Tom kept staring at him they could here a crash upstairs following by you and Tord screaming at each other

- GOT YOU COMMIE!

- GET OFF OF ME YOU BASTARD!

Matt looked at Tom and Edd with a smug look

-50

#eddsworld #eddsworld fan fic #comfort fan fic #ew #begginer fanfic author #comfort character #Edd Eddsworld #matt eddsworld #tom eddsworld #tord eddsworld #Eddsworld x reader

[gaypeople4itzy]

Hope is better than despair

With itzy’s yuna

Part 1 of two !!

word count : 1,3k

Warnings : a bit angsty im sorry :,(

One of my favorites again hehe^^

Your heart sank as snow began falling on the city’s roof, the holidays were approaching, and despite the cheerful atmosphere around you, you still didn’t feel that joy the way everyone else did, at least, not like you used to

Nostalgia is a vast concept, some people miss their parents’ house, miss playing around in the neighborhood, miss their teachers, miss the innocence of being a child, miss the spark they had in their eyes at that time;

And sometimes, there are people that miss others

You were one of these people, there was someone, probably the person you had ever been the closest to, that had deserted your life a couple years back, and strangely enough, it seemed as if time had stopped since then

You thought to yourself it was a foolish decision as you sat down to your kitchen table, a paper, and a pen in front of you. You had been telling yourself that for the entire week, since that idea had crossed your mind, you kept debating inside if it was incredibly stupid, or rather, something that could change your future greatly

Yuna and you were insepperable, since the very first moment you looked at each other, you instently clicked. There was something between the two of you that was beyond anyone’s else understandimg. Quite frankly, you didn,t need to grasp the concept of the connection you shared with her, as long as she was next to you, and that you were next to her, that’s all that mattered

You did everything together, going from accompanying her whenever she had detention, to pairing up for every single project, to throwing snowballs on the face of the other before heading inside freezing, to spending days cuddling and watching your favorite movies, there was not one of your lives where Yuna did not have a special place in it

And as you two grew up, your feelings evolved towards the other. It started with Yuna being even more protective than she usually was, wrapping her arms around you whenever someone thought it was a good idea to try and flirt with you. You started feeling warmer than you used to around her, feeling this strange urge to always be close to her. As time passed by, Yuna’s actions became more and more evident that you guys weren’t just friends, if it wasn’t for her constant teasing, nor her attempts at making you blush, it was certainly her kisses that she’d give you, claiming it was just “marking her territory so the others would know you’re hers”

It took a long while before you both had enough courage to confess to the other, trembling as she held you, you shared the most passionate kiss that night. It was so memorable that to this day, it is still vivid in your head

The months that followed were pure paradise, there was not a moment where you didn’t feel at ease with each other, it was the sweetest and purest relationship you had ever experienced

However, you had to let her go before you were ever ready to do so. Yuna’s parents had been talking about moving away for a few weeks by then, and they had finally taken their decision

That night was difficult, hard because you had both decided it would be best to not continue talking to the other, that the distance would be too hard, that it would be painful to not have each other to hold on to but than it was better than to hold on a glimpse of false hope

Yuna held you tight that night, she whispered many things to you, wished you the best life ever, and promised you that you would never be forgotten

As she head outside, out of your door, while you did your best to smile at her, wanting her to have a good last memory of you both being together

Your head was fuzzy, it was difficult to comprehend what was happening at that moment. Although you could barely see nor hear anything, due to feeling extremely drained, you thought for a second that she had said something,

Something like,

“The universe will send us back together, I promise you”

And you weren’t sure if your brain had just tricked you, or if truly, she had meant that

To this day, you still were unsure of those words, but a discobvery had made you change your mind. A few days ago, you had been called by your parents, as they wanted you to come home for the Holidays, and of ourse, you couldn’t refuse spending time with the people you most loved

After a few hours listening to your mother rant about stories you had already heard, your father had interrupted her, mentioning that he had found a box with a bunch of your old stuff. Excitedly enough, he had given you indications as to where it was located in the house

And now you were here, a few days later, with Yuna’s “new” address (at the time) in mind. While going through the box, you had found a little note, and you could almost immediately recognize her handwriting. You almost felt your heart explode when your eyes read the following : “My angel, I’m so scared my parents are going to make us move out sooner than they are supposed to. If they do, and you ever want to contact me, please know that my address will be…”

It was such a strange feeling as you realized what the paper was saying. If Yuna knew her address the entire time, and had purposely hid that in your stuff, why didn’t she just directly tell you where she lived ? Why didn’t she want to make things work ?

Firstly upset, you tried to ignore the flame you thought was gone a long time ago. Although you kept avoiding the subject and resisted the best you could, there was no other way than to face what you felt : you were still in love with her

So you began writing to her, maybe she wouldn’t open the letter, or wouldn’t even get it, but it didn’t matter, you felt as if not writing her today would mean loosing something far more important than anything else in your life

So you went ahead : 

Dear Yuna, 

I recognize that you might not remember me, and I would understand why

[…]

I hope you too, regret losing the other

[…]

May you be well 

[…]

If this ever gets to you, you are free to respond to me

[…]

Please know that you too, have never been forgotten

Yours truly,

Y/N

For once, you wanted to believe that the universe was on your side. You knew well enough that you could end up heartbroken, but the tiny bit of hope that was left was all you had, and it was better to accept it than to pretend the thought of a happy ending didn’t exist

#gaypeople4itzy #gaypeople4itzytalkingtothemselves #gaypeople4itzysendslove #gaypeople4itzylovesyousomuchmwahmwah #gaypeople4itzyupdate #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop oneshots #kpop story #kpop fluff #fluff #itzy #itzy yuna #yuna itzy #shin yuna #itzy scenarios #itzy angst #itzy oneshot #itzy reactions #itzy imagines #itzy fluff #fluffcember

[ha-youwish]

This is not a vent post, it’s a book recommendation and self-analysis kinda. Please consider reading this, I won’t blame you if you don’t.

Last year around this time, my granddaddy passed away. Usually, online and in formal spaces I would call him my grandfather, but that’s not what I call him and I will not limit myself for this post.

Last year around this time I was beginning my second semester of college ever. I was not doing so well. My grades were low because my attendance was abysmal and my work outside the class was shit. However the previous semester I had taken a class that I was able to stick around for more than the rest.

This class was studying how different major religions and cultures coped with death and how they thought of the afterlife. I bought the books for that class with financial aid and never read them.

Just now I got done reading one of the books, When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner, never read it until I found it sitting around today.

It’s a relatively short book, under 200 pages, about how Kushner deals with the question “Why do bad things happen to good people?” from his place as a rabbi.

Now I don’t have any sort of relationship with god. i’m not strictly atheist or anything but i tend to believe in whatever religion people want me to believe in if they ask me to pray for them or a family member.

when grandaddy died, i had nothing to fall back on. granddaddy was extremely religious and generous, i am so incredibly grateful he was involved in my life and there for me. but people from his church said it was a part of god’s plan or that there was a reason he passed when he did and when i was in such a low state at college already.

i moved away to college and the landlord sold my home. i was in an unfamiliar uncomfortable place where the only place i felt fully comfortable was now completely inaccessible. my mom moved in with grandaddy and took care of him before he passed. it was tense. he was kind but old and stubborn and so is everyone else. the drain of taking care of someone can be worth it, but that doesnt mean its not there.

i was, and am, dealing with severe depression surrounded by other gloomy people who didnt make it much better. i never went to class and i had, and have, crushing guilt that i was wasting the time and money of my family.

and then granddaddy went to the hospital. and then he died. and its unfair.

all of it is unfair, and if it was a part of gods plan then hes fucking unfair too.

now, i have not necessarily moved on. my fingers shake still if i think about it too long. i dont even know if im going to post this because of how exposed and raw i feel. but its important to me that somehow in some way this gets expressed and that someone other than myself will read it.

your suffering was unfair, whether it was a lot or a little. the world is unfair. we all know it. i hope you know that you will never be able to look into the eyes of someone who has never known suffering, and i hope you can find some comfort in that connection.

this book is from the point of view from a religious man. it talks a lot about a god i dont believe in. but the way it talks about suffering and how it effects people makes it helpful for me to parse my own feelings and thoughts.

so feel free to replace god with whatever you want, with humanity and spirit and the universe and everything good. here are some quotes, alt text included:

- sometimes i convince myself that what i feel is nothing more than chemicals, that the regret i feel from not driving home the day before and visiting before he passed was just something my mind is doing.

i once stayed up late at grandaddys house after he passed and i was shoved right back into school like my life hadnt just gotten its shit rocked.

my mom was in her room asleep, but i really couldn’t take it anymore. we stayed up late just talking through how we felt after i had cried to her. and to be completely honest, hearing that she had regrets and wished for just a little more time fucking sucked. knowing the people around you are going through it sucks, even if it was to be expected

but we connected over that long early morning. we resolved almost nothing. i felt the same as i did before and granddaddys still dead and buried. but it was easier to go on after that.

another quote, a tldr if you don’t want to read the book but want to understand what he gets at, in the end of it all.

i dont think i can forgive other people for being unfair, not without effort. but i think i can forgive the universe because the unfairness is proof that people have choices. shit happens, you choose what to do after it.

for a lot of people, mourning and religion bring them the strength to move on, as he talks about in the book. things dont get better because of prayer that god will fix everything or the universe will set itself right again or you can escape through fantasy books to another world,

they get better because something gives us strength to get up again and keep moving. to kushner, thats god and people who came together to support him. to me, i dont know yet, i dont know if i’ve really started to pick up my life yet. but i think this book helped me start to see the bigger picture

#long post #sorry this is kinda personal #but like thanks for reading if you made it this far #im not putting a readmore for Reasons. sorry

[neoncityrain]

Gu GG fxtcfxfx unhinged Leafeon Zephyr got me going 👀

Could you tell me a bit more about them???

i was gonna answer this earlier but stuff™️ happened 😔 didnt finish the doodles i was makin for it and ended up playing stardew, but i LIVED. have this instead

sO. first lemme re-explain the core of zephyrs personality, since this didnt translate well into pmdtog: theyre extremely passionate about something labelled as evil. in sky, the game i originally designed them and polaris around, this was simply referred to as "the darkness", which drove creatures to aggression and drained life from things that touched it. to zee, it was the one thing that they found not only interesting, but COMFORTING. whereas other people were easily overwhelming, the corrupting force was quiet, incredibly interesting, and sure others thought it was bad but others acted as if zephyr was bad, too.

so zephyr let the corruption in willingly and began to care for it.

this in and of itself isnt a bad thing! this would be zephyr as you know them, and still is- yannow- canon to everything. if anything im just rethinking the parts where i relied way too heavily on pokemon lore and not enough on my own lore. (also i think their eevee design could use a tweak or two lol their gloves have been weird legwarmers for too long)

for the next part, though, i have to also explain: with each passing year, ive been entertaining the idea of polaris as being older. in part because its interesting to see him grow and change, but also because its fun to have a character who grows up. he was designed as a twelve year old who sees life as hopeless. he will have existed for three years as of next month, and now im thinking about how he, after so so SO many stories and tales where he struggled to simply live and be alive, grows up to care for three children with a man who truly loves him. that means a lot to me, and feels natural- hes been shaped by irl years of storytelling.

...so why not do the same for zephyr?

but then, whos to say theyd get better?

see, part of pols thing is that he was negative, but learned to ease up and gain confidence in himself and the world through the help of others. but zephyr, ooooh zee has always been positive to the point of denial. and while polaris has had interactions with other characters to shape who he is...

zephyr has had two that were positive. polaris, a skittish sassy asshole who literally dies, and manta, who couldnt interact with zee directly but attempted to push them away to keep them from hurting themself.

so then, what would someone like that turn to over the years?

zephyr ends up becoming more and more the caretaker for some blooming, festering evil, and they deny more and more and more and more that doing so could EVER be wrong. they start denying that the corruption is even doing wrong in the first place. its just defending itself, maybe if you were nicer it wouldnt hurt you.

and i mean, whats wrong with helping the only thing thats been consistently with you through and through? sure it hurts, but everyone else is so mean. it must be lonely to be so hated, but zephyr is full of love and zephyr will protect it with all the love in their heart.

...even if this love ends up poisonous, they will adapt, now wont they <:]c

#uwu baby #trojarts #chattering #tanz made them an iterator design thats puppetted by rot im just scared around that stuff still ssobs #zee now has less uwu baby vibes and more tragic mad scientist vibes and i like it a LOT more #actually the thing was rlly funny especially when they were next to polaris who could cry if you point at him ? #anyways. polaris gets better and zephyr gets worse❤️ #fun fact zephyrs three years old now #they were my 2020 birthday gift to myself nyehe #oc: zephyr barycenter

[svampira]

🎯✂️🧠 per eden elias e brooklyn tripla combo

ask game

🎯 -What do they do best?

Elias, in spite of his horrible rancid personality, can be extremely charming when he needs to be, and his presence powers are op enough to be basically mind control at that point. <this does get him in trouble just as much as it gets him out of it. Physically he's very strong, but he only has 3 dots of melee and no combat disciplines, so he's kind of a flop for a vampire. When it comes to human abilities that carried off into his unlife, he's a great musician but that barely comes up and it's not why he was embraced.

Brooke can see the future👍🙏 she has way more control over her visions than the average malkavian, and her auspex in general is op as well because i love to cheat. Physically she's an extremely skilled acrobat, she was a gymnast her whole life and had just started teaching gymnastics before she died. She kills you then cartwheels out of the room🤸‍♀️

Eden's a sneaky guy👍 he can sneak in and out of somewhere without anyone noticing, eavesdrop on anyone and sneak out of most dangerous situations without having to resort to a fight (which he probably wouldn't win). He can hack anything 90s movies style but i literally don't know anything about that so im going to shut up

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Elias' worst memory is his "first" day on this green beautiful earth👍i have a lot of thoughts on memory loss in general i don't think he just blacked out and instantly knew he had no memories it was more of a gradual panicking. Not recognising who the man in front of him was even though it felt like he should have, to slowly realising he doesnt remember his own name and all of his memories are gone > and not even getting 5 minutes to deal with it before the stranger forces him to drink his blood then subsequently drains him. Just a shitty first night😔 hes not the kind of guy that dwells on things though by the time he woke up his sire had been executed so he just pretends he's fine with the whole thing

[This got way too long so im putting the second part under the cut. Read my oc's villain origin story👇👇]

For Brooke i think it was a specific moment when she was around 16 and realised she had no shot of making it as a professional athlete, both because she was being overlooked by her coaches and because she kind of shot up to 1.75m all of a sudden (now idk a lot about gymnastics. But ive never seen anyone in the olympics that was taller than 1.50m). That's genuinely her villain origin story just a chaotic ball of repressed anger, bitterness and dissatisfaction that she carried over into her adult life and turned her into the gotham villain she's now. Her real name isn't even (obv) brooklyn it's literally her villain name LMFAO i just realised

For Eden i think it was the moment he realised Brooklyn WAS real. She spent the better part of the first year they were turned trying to convince him they had a fight club situation going on. I think he found the idea of brooke being a fragment of his imagination more comforting than anything else, especially since it's not very uncommon for the type of vampire him and brooke are to have delusions/strange manifestations of their powers. He found out he was 90% less insane than he initially thought he was but it still made him trust himself way less + he was "forced" into hating brooklyn now for what she'd done even though she's his only link to his human life and still cared about her. Now im just feeling bad MAN im drawing him a better girlfriend

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Elias is my fave i cant even lie at this point... i love that he's so pretty i love drawing him💖 writing wise I've talked about this before but i love evil characters that still kind of feel innocent in a way. Like he has no lived experiences before turning into a blood sucking monster and even though he can be cruel and horrible to both humans and people he actually cares about, it's almost like he's never really had a chance to be anything else. Your honour he's just like that. I also like that out of all my characters he's the silliest ^^ he doesn't take things too seriously he loves slacking off and doesn't know how to hold a grudge. Also boobs

When it comes to brooke I loooove evil characters all my ocs fucking SUCK and she's the absolute worst. She kicks puppies for fun she steals candy from babies she engages in emotional terrorism she loves scheming and plotting. Yet deep deep down even though she links Eden back to her bitterness and dissatisfaction with her old life she does genuinely love him, and does her best to look out for him even when she's tormenting him. Also i looove drawing her with new hair every time she's so fun + i have lots of horror illustration ideas when it comes to her and eden (brain courtesy of a STELLAR gift art i got during artfight)

For Eden I like that he's the only one who's trying to rise above his nature out of all my ocs (this obviouslydoesn't work out, but there was an attempt). He has the highest humanity out of all of them, he tries to avoid feeding directly from humans most of the time, and he's the only anarch (which means in the la of my oc canon he's basically opposed to every one of my ocs) . I loove that despite everything she puts him through he still loves brooklyn, but i also love love love that later on as the war between the camarilla and the anarchs worsens he starts legit trying to kill her (while she NEVER would. She did straight up torture him a couple times tho so there's no moral high ground). I love horribly dysfunctional relationships I'm weak for fucked up heterosexuals

#i need to start tagging ask games. but i wont #/elias #/brooklyn #/eden #ask #oc lore #brooklyn lore #eden lore #elias lore

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina! How are you?? First of all, you don’t even have to bother reading this message, it’s a bit of a rant but I find you and your account such a comforting place, I feel like I can trust you and say out loud what’s on my mind. You obviously don’t have to respond it or acknowledge it in any way! So you know, I started new school almost two months ago. It was something completely new and felt more serious since it’s high school, now what I was used to. I spent the last two years homeschooled mainly because of pandemic but also because I felt like it was better for my mental health, right before the pandemic I was drained and stressed all the time so it felt like I could finally take a deep breath and relax. But now I’m back in school, completely new one. It seems great, I made friends, have some solid teachers and the atmosphere seems rather friendly. I can’t help but feel anxious though. You know a few times I wasn’t really feeling 100% mentally and knew that my parents wouldn’t let me stay at home if I asked for that so when they asked me why I’m not in school and still at home I said that all my classes were cancelled today. You know, it’s autumn, most of my friends are with a cold right now, just that season so teachers cancelling classes seems rather believable. I did this trick quite a few times, I’d say about 5 or 6? It’s obviously not much, to lose a week during two months period of time but it still happened. And funny enough it usually happened the same day of the week so I for example missed English class three weeks in a row. I’m scared that tutor will think I’m running away from school which well kinda is the point but I’m staying at home and my parents know about that. I not once emailed them to justify my absence, just came school the next day. I don’t want to have a bad reputation in teacher's nor do I want my parents to find out that the classes weren’t cancelled, I just lied to them so I could stay at home. I know that it’s a silly thing and in 5 years I won’t even remember about it, I really do know that and I was never the one to extremely care about grades or stuffs like that but now, in this exact moment it’s making me very anxious and overwhelmed. I’m currently sick at home and supposed to be in school tomorrow for math class since my math teacher already said she is not happy about my absence. I missed math class about 5 times so far which two times it wasn’t my choice, I had doctors appointments or family things I had to be at. I don’t know whether I should go there tomorrow to not make any more troubles or stay at home until Thursday so I can fully recover and on Thursday I have important tests so I have to be there anyway. I’m sorry for writing you all these, probably very childish to you problems but I just feel so anxious about it all right now, I want everything to go well and not make any teacher enemies just during the second month of school. Damn, that was a long message 😅 Anyway, I partially feel better now after writing this all out. I hope you’re having a great day and Im sending you hugs, Gina. Take care ❤️

Hi sweetheart. I’m sorry school is making you anxious. I think after two years of quarantine so many kids are really struggling. I’m sure you’re not at all alone in that. The problem that comes with avoiding the stress is that it becomes habit and the small things that stress you feel bigger and bigger the more often you avoid them. And then they can snowball to a point where it feels insurmountable.

I’d suggest talking to your parents if you feel you can. If not, talk to a school counselor about what’s going on for you. I’ve found, having dealt with very much this same thing with my daughter, that teachers are very understanding about stress and anxiety if you speak to them. But when you don’t let them know, it’s easy for them to assume you’re skipping class because you don’t care. You may not have cared much about grades in the past, but it does get more important now that you’re in high school. Reach out to someone to help you get out of this pattern. I know you can can get back on track!

Sending you lots of love. 💕💕💕

[chocoenvy]

okay so i know this might not sound like the best idea, but i have a severe binge eating disorder so i was thinking if i develop anorexia i could cancel it out. it could make me pretty too!!! (i don’t really have a lot of people that i trust so i’d thought i’d ask one of my favorite online friends<3)

shawty i love you and that's why im telling you that this is such a shit idea. (continued utc)

!!!ED TW!!!

Going from one extreme to another is going to put so much strain on your body and you're going to be weak and tired all the time. Such a drastic change could kill you and it'd be so painful. It's such an unhappy way to die and it's not fucking worth it. You can do as much as you can to try and develop healthier habits, lose weight in a healthy manner.

And like I said, I love you and that's why i'm telling you this, but unhealthily skinny is not pretty. You're not happy, you're literally and metaphorically empty. I understand binge eating is fucking shit and it hurts and it feels gross but you can slowly work your way down. You can get better in a slow and healthy manner, in a way that'll make you happy in the long run.

Going from binging to starving is going to make you feel the same unhappiness. I never had severe binging but I had an ed for a while in the same vein as anorexia and it was fucking draining. It's all you think about, it's all you do. The number on the scale does not matter that much. Your happiness is worth more than that.

And the fucking scale and bmi is bullshit. Your physical appearance doesn't correlate with your weight a lot of times.

Just- anorexia isn't as easy as getting your ultimate goal weight and moving on. It doesn't end. You don't reach it and then stop, you keep going until you're dead and I don't want to see you dead.

You're going to put too much strain on your body and mind until you're forced to get help. It's not going to be a happy time, so I beg of you to keep yourself alive and happy. Ik it's hard, but jumping from one ED to another will solve nothing. Just try and heal and get help, it's a hard rut to get out of, but an ED takes away from your life so much. I beg of you to live it out and not focus so much on food. It's not worth it <3

sorry for the long spiel. In case it wasn't obvious I've gone through and ED and still think about it sometimes, but it takes up so much time. It's not worth it. Please take care of yourself <3

#choco.asks #tw ed rant

[lesbiten]

finished leopardstars honor! final notes from the last 100 pages: -the editing got really bad towards the end. i genuinely dont think anyone proofread a good chunk of the last couple of chapters. there were so many continuity errors that it almost makes me think they ran out of time to publish the book and just sent it though

-in a similar vein, the ending was also extremely rushed. the point of a leopardstar super edition to my understanding was to get a view on her perspective on tigerstar and tigerclan. so why was only ~80 pages of the book focused on that? the exposition in her early life was nice, but some of it definitely seemed like it was just kate cary wanting to write fanfiction about her fave. which is fine and all i guess, but why advertise it as a book about leopardstars leadership and her biggest mistake when its largely a book talking about her upbringing and her relationships with her clanmates? this also didnt make much sense to me considering the sheer number of books we have now that extensively describe the events of the first arc. it was obvious at multiple points in the book that the authors were limited by the fact that weve seen leopardstars words and actions from firestars point of view, so it was limited in what they could have her do or say regardless of the new character arc they'd given her earlier in the book. they could write her feelings, but it didnt really matter when what she said was still the same generic antagonistic character lines she had in the first arc. thats the problem with constantly rewriting the same events, you literally cannot change what happens, so it becomes extremely difficult to insert complexity where there wasn't any before.

-why introduce a plot line about a prophecy, imply over and over again its true, *end the book* pushing the idea that its true, and then...not really reinforce that through anything that happens? once again, this is the problem you have when you try to insert complexity into parts of the series that were not meant to be complex. leopardstar was an important character in the first arc, sure, but only because she was a participant in tigerstars evil plans. she did not ever actively try to "save the clans", and honestly, this book doesn't try to make you believe she did either. its still very obviously firestar who masterminds every act of rebellion against tigerstar, while she's kind of just. there watching. and going "oh no i wish this wasn't happening!" truly what was the point of a prophecy that wasn't true. imo a prophecy warning mudfur of some vague "important choice" she would have to make would have worked so much better with the narrative. particularly because she had *so many* arguably important choices that could have thrown her off throughout the book (i.e. frogleap, disobeying crookedstars orders, trying to keep windclan out, etc) until she finally reached the decision to join tigerclan, in which she clearly believed she was making the right decision until it was too late. the vague "you're destined to save us!" prophecy was lame when she was still a background character in the events happening!!

-this book seriously could have and probably should have just been a novella. only the last 80 or so pages were important and they were horribly written due to using the first 430 pages to write fluff and exposition about borders and sunningrocks and whatnot. the only truly interesting parts of the book, besides tigerclan, were leopardstars personal relationships with her clanmates. reading over and over again about sunningrocks is draining. please stop erin hunter im begging you. there should have been at least another 100 pages dedicated to putting more detail into her participation in tigerclan. there were way too many time skips at the end, and many of them went completely unmentioned until it was implied that a few days or even months had passed, and you just had to rewire your view of the rest of what you'd just read to put it into different context. if you're getting to a point where you have to skip major plot points because you don't have enough room to include them, you need to go back and evaluate what you spent your time on in the earlier parts of the book.

#i think thats it for now #overall mid book #i dont regret reading it but it definitely added absolutely nothing to the series as a whole #maybe besides making whiteclaw a real character and adding actual weight behind his death #simon says

[kanside]

something sorta lame about having neurodivergence or spicy cooties or whatever the fuck the internet calls Autism and ADHD is that i will always weird people out. i give people uncanny valley because if im strange i must be unhuman. its frustrating! i am very much human, but i suffer from disorder and disability and i am unchangingly weird.

i will want to pour my life story early on in the day but not in the afternoon. i may not have time for you, and prefer indoor activities and staying home, but please still invite me to leave the house as much as possible because i deserve to have the option and i will often take it. i may act in a pattern which will cause your pattern-seeking brain to define my personality, but my patterns will always be determined by complex problems and the personality you see is a miscommunication. for example, i may say i want to talk to you more often, but seemingly not make effort to do so. you may think its rude, and that's fair to think that, but the motivation is not to be rude or hurt you. my days are defined by a pattern of different obstacles and pains to overcome, and i post about them here to give insight into why i act the way i do. these obstacles drain me, so unfortunately by the end of the day when my friends just woke up, all i want to do is rest my mind and do something like watch mha, south park, or play sims 4 - really whatever im into atm.

this doesnt mean i dont make mistakes or misbehave, im not making excuses. i admittedly have emotional problems and for as long as i can remember i have been evolving and working to change them. this means be critical. dont be abusive or criticize things that are utterly out of my control, but truly criticize every action i take. i have a behavior disorder as well as ADHD and anxiety, the lines often become blurred and i cant tell right from wrong in the moment. if you feel frustrated with my behavior or see habits you disagree with, and you either want me to apologize, explain why i acted that way, and/or change my behavior, you should clearly express how you feel and what i did that was wrong. correct my behavior in the moment and dont be afraid to be critical, i can take it. my feelings may become hurt and i may be confused, but in that moment it is not your job to comfort me, i only expect information and what i can do to better the situation. truth is that in person i lose my temper quicker, and its very hard to have this conversation if we're not close, so i definitely recommend doing this over text/message. its fine to do it in person if there is a safe space, but i only really have successful conversations like that with someone im extremely close in (ie. my parents!) when online i can hold more emotional strain and effective communication is easier to pull off.

i know that sounds like a lot of work, but the truth is that relationships (yes, especially friendships) require an extreme amount of dedication and effort. again i should not be babied or excused, however it isnt fair to assume we're friends if you ghost me or launch anger at me all at once. the most effective way to conmunicate with me, with the intention of repairing a relationship, is to directly and clearly communicate with me your feelings and expectations, and work to come to a solution.

i will tell myself that this is because i struggle with communication, because im autistic and cant read your mind, but the truth is that everyone deserves this treatment. it is not an attack to privately hold a friend accountable for mistakes, misbehavior, bad habits, or hurtful words. as long as the goal is to fix a problem, mend feelings, and make yourself feel safe and worthy in a relationship.

if you dont value these aspects of communication, i dont want to be your friend. this post started out as a little ramble about how autism can affect first impressions, and now its devolved into a vent about how i expect friends to engage conflict. i know i got off track, but i have a point.

my point is, every sort of relationship (friendship, love, allyship, business partners, whatever) absolutely REQUIRES direct, clear communication.

ive decided that i will not put up with people that ghost me, that add dramatics to genuine conflict, that jump to conclusions without asking, people that engage in conflict in unhealthy ways. my expectation is that if you have the slightest anxiety or frustration, you reach out calmly and clearly, you express how you feel and what you expect, and we have a conversation about why it happened and how we can find a solution.

it sounds like a lot, but its geniunely not hard. this is how relationships are held over time, and people refusing to do this are why relationships online and in person, especially with neurodivergent people (or just people who prefer direct communciation), do not last long.

uhh sorry for all the negative tone, rant over!

[thatfuzzyfamiliarspace]

Here again. Even reading my happy post from yesterday saying how can I even feel like this. Idek. How can I feel like this. I woke up like it, no reason or anything. Just mental torment all day. I’ve tried really really hard. Instead of just sitting mindlessly, wasting my day, I threw myself into work. Hoping the accomplishments would give me the little boosts I need. but nope. I’m still sitting here beating myself up. Thinking about them. why ?? Is it her ? Is she making me feel like this ? I dont want have a low day today. I’m trying everything I can. 

But I’m just all over the place. I dont want to change jobs, I dont want to do this interview. I wanna stay here and just earn a higher wage. I dont wanna have to be a dick about it and demand more or I’ll leave after saying I dont wanna go anywhere to them last time. Because if they say “fine go”, I’ll acc have to leave. I wanna stay here. I’m happy working here. 

I don’t wanna leave the flat. I’m finally settled and I’m so so happy there. Not know whats gonna happen in the future is killing me. Will I be at home for months on end ? how tf am I gonna survive that. Its not just “oh im back with my parents”. Its I’m back with MY PARENTS. They fuck me up so much. They ruin my mental health more and more I’m around them. I hate it there. Its why I never go to see them unless I need something. I hate it. And now I have to go back for an indefinite time :/ No freedom or anything. And everything will take a huge step back with mine and J’s relationship. Thats gonna be extremely hard to deal with.

I’m still getting tormented by the past. Thinking of how I ruined everything between the 3 of us. I will never forgive myself. I ruined my own happiness. I ruined her trust. Hurting her has been one of the worst things I’ve ever done. It’ll haunt me forever. Every time I think I’ve moved past it, it just comes steaming right back and hits me lower. Then theres her missing him. I’ve said time and time again, HES GONE. HES DEAD TO US. Yet she still calls out for her Appa and its doing my nut in. I’m over him, why isnt she ? 

The guilt from that alone is just draining me. I’m tryna work through it. I’m tryna be better. I really fucking am. Everything just feels like too much rn. Malu is so off with me, and fucking up with her the other month really screwed me up too. So as much as I wanna stand up for myself, I still fucked up. My brain reverts to thinking I deserve how shes being with me. 

Then theres all the chemical side. We joke that I’m only sane for 2 weeks. But I’m never really, the pill fucks me up and makes me crazy emotional and irrational and PMS and being on just heightens that more. I never feel like I get a break. I just want that peace you get from the view from half way down. But I musn’t think like that. It’ll get better, even if its only for a short temporary time. 

Just gotta keep going. I’ll get more done at work. I’ll stay in at lunch and distract myself. I have gym after work which I hope will help. Then he’s coming over later to stay. I just wanna be up when he comes over. I dont want him to have to deal with me being low. Just not today. 

[moneymasnn]

Can we have one with mason where y/n and mason hate eachother but have to sleep in the same bed together and one thing leads to another if u know what I mean😳 and mason ends up confessing his feelings 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Druken Mistakes| Mason Mount smut

Gif by @mountsmason

blurb: After being forced to share a room with mason, you both end up making one huge druken mistake.

notes: I haven't proof read this so don't judge guys. Lemme know if you want a part 2 xx

warnings: smut ;)

“Listen I’m really sorry guys, but it’s one night. We can get you separate rooms tomorrow, I promise” says Ben, pinching the top of his nose bridge.

“I’ll sleep on the reception sofa" you say before Bens huff interrupts you.

“Y/n? Come on, seriously stop acting like a child. It’s one night, it’s my wedding tomorrow so don’t ruin it for me by kicking up a fuss. please?"

“Okay, fine” you roll your eyes and look up to mason standing next to you, he was unusually quiet.

“Mase? Im really sorry mate, its just one night” says Ben with pleading eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry mate. Your getting married in the morning you have enough to worry about”.

Conveniently the hotel had double booked the rooms of the maid of honour and best man, that just so happened to be you and mason.

It was around 10pm at night, you were cold and standing in a huge, fancy reception hall, your grip tight on the handle of the small suitcase beside you. Being told you would have to spend the night with mason is the last thing you needed to happen tonight.

Ben scurried off to go find his mum before he goes to bed, all the stress of marrying the love of his life tomorrow I suppose. Mason was stood at the desk getting the key to our room.

It was a long and quiet elevator ride, until you spoke up.

“You better not try anything mount-“

“I wasn’t planning too”

“Good. Because if you think I’m going to end up having some cliché mediocre sex with you just because we are maid of honour and best man then you are completely wrong.” You huff, once again gripping your suitcase handle.

“My abilities in the bedroom are far from mediocre, daring”

You felt your cheaks heat up at the comment, as mason smugly walks out of the elevator with a smirk on his face. I hate him.

He swiped the card on the door to a gorgeous manner hotel room. However, you could only see one towel, and one robe and, and... there was only one bed.

Of corse there’s only one bed. What was I expecting, bunkbeds? This can't get any worse. I need a drink.

“I can sleep on the floor” mason says, snapping you out if your gaze.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We can just stuff a pillow in the middle of the bed”

Mason just awkwardly laughs and sits on the bed, his back up again the headboard as he sits on his phone.

You sit at the desk and pull out the hotel phone.

“What are you doing? Who you calling?” Calls out mason.

“Room service, going to need a drink to get me through tonight. What do you drink?” You ask him, the phone against you ear as it rings.

“I don’t mind” he mumbles.

“White? Red? Should we get champagne?”

Mason found you extremely intriguing, you were confident and he was well, he was mason. “get some white, and ask if they're still doing food.”

“Hiya, can I get 2 bottles of any white wine to room 67 please? Thank you, and are you still doing food?”

And before you knew it you and mason was both say cross legged on the bed, a bowl of cheesy chips in the middle of you both and random tiny alcohol bottles from where you had drained the mini fridge, mason demanding that you had to do shots. You were on your third glass or maybe forth? Asking each other the randomist of questions.

“Okay, okay, I’ve got one, what’s the most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?” Says mason.

“I dunno, probably something like dancing in my room naked when I was 15?” you say talking a sip of your wine, “you?”

Masons cheeks blush as he looks down.

“No. Fucking. Way. Mason Mount please don’t tell me your parents have walked in on you having sex?”

“Yep, most traumatic moment of my life” you and mason were in fits on the bed, laughing away.

It got to about 1am there was so doubt the two of you were drunk. You were both ignoring that you were going to have raging hangovers tomorrow, instead just enjoying each others company. You had managed to get on like a house on fire, which for you and mason was completely out of character, you were supposed to hate each other.

“Why do you hate me?” You couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of your mouth, a burning question that you’ve always wanted to ask mason.

The smile on his face fades as he downs the rest of his drink, pouring out another one. “I don’t hate you”

You sit there in silence for a moment before mason speaks up again, “why do you hate me?”

You look up at him with a simple smile, “I don’t hate you” you say, repeating his words.

“Y/n?”

“Mason”

“What would you do if I kissed you?”

“I don’t know” you mumble.

You look up to stare into his dark chocolate brown eyes, you could easily get lost in his eyes. You examine every freckle on his nose before your eyes dart down to his tongue that was wetting his lips before he speaks up again.

“Y/n?”

“Mason”

“Can I kiss you?”

You just nod your head frantically before masons hands make there way to your face and your lips collide, your teeth clash as you feel his smile on your lips. The kiss was slow and passionate, nothing like you have ever felt before.

You lean forward pushing all your weight onto mason so your on top of him, his hands move from you face to your waist where he gave a tight squeeze.

Once you pull apart for air, mason brushes the hair out of you face and behind your ear.

“You’ve got no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” he breathlessly says.

“I think you should do it again”

“Me too” he mumbles onto your lips.

He tasted like wine and mint. His skin felt like soft silk. His hair felt cotton and his lips felt like they were made for yours.

Mason places his hand on your back as he turns you over gently, so he’s now on top. You're both trying to not break the kiss while taking your clothes off at the same time.

Masons lips remove from yours for a split second as he helps you remove your jumper and t shirt, he stares at your breasts like a teenage boy who’s never seen a pair of boobs in his life.

"your beautiful, you know that?"

You tried to hide the blush rising on your cheeks.

His face then moves to your left boob as he starts to trace circles with his tounge. His free hand rubbing your other boob as his thumb traces your hard nipple.

He then pulls away and placed kisses from your torso to your stomach, leaving a sloppy kiss on your pubic bone.

Mason sits up and pulls his top over his head as he then dives down to pull off your joggers and knickers, throwing them somewhere around the room.

You were completely naked, but for some reason you didn't feel exposed.

Mason snaked his hands under your thighs and placed them on his shoulders.

You felt his hot breath fan you leaking core, his tongue fattens as he does one long lick up your wet slit. Mason savers this taste, just incase he never got the chance to taste you again.

And with that his tongue was doing everything right. He gently swirled your clit before he dipped in an out of your hole teasing your slightly.

"mase, im so close"

"hold it for me, darling" mason says as he pulls away.

You felt a whine leave your mouth as he pulled of you to sit up and pull his joggers off.

"patience sweetheart" he was standing there naked, and it was...big. You watched as pre cum leaked from his tip as he climbed on top of you. He placed a kiss on your temple. He held eye contact with you as he ripped open the condom packet.

He put the condom on and lined himself up with your slit, he slowly inserted himself in you, you both gasp in sync once he is completely inside of you. Your legs wrap around his waist as you watch your back fro a better angle.

Mason intertwined your fingers and held your hand above your head. His moments were slow at first, slow and deep, every time he pulled out and pushed back in he hit your g spot.

"Mason, faster"

And before you knew it mason was pounding inside of you, the only noise in the room was both of your heavy breathing and the slapping of your skin.

You knew it wouldn't be long before you came, you felt a knot form in your stomach, it growing tighter with ever thrust. You knew mason was close too by how sloppy his thrusts were getting.

He took his hand out of the grip of yours and placed them in his mouth, then using his wet fingers to rub slow circles on your clit.

"cum with me y/n, please"

And with them simple words of encouragement your back arched, your skin squashing together as mason felt you grow tighter. your orgasm hitting you hard.

Mason collapsed on top of you, his face burred in your neck as he was still inside of you.

"I think I love you" muffles mason into your neck.

You just giggle and place your hands in his hair, knowing it was the alcohol talking.

#mason mount #mason mount fic #mason mount x reader #mason mount smut #smut #smutty #mason mount imagine