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prince-of-elsinore · 1 year

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Dear M*A*S*H: S1 Ep 04 “Chief Surgeon Who”

Previous episode here.

Aka, Pilot Redux.

This episode does everything the pilot does, only better. It contains a thesis statement of sorts--this time, surprisingly, in the mouth of Henry Blake to Frank Burns: “We can’t be so G.I. we lose patients”; it contains a broad introduction to the camp’s zaniness and co-ed shenanigans, which General Barker experiences as he wanders around looking for Col. Blake; it deftly illustrates the main relationship dynamics of the camp, especially between Frank and Margaret; it puts proof to the claim that Hawkeye is the best surgeons around; it even repeats the beat of a general coming around to apologize for judging Hawkeye prematurely. It also does something the pilot does not; it establishes one of the few permanent changes that will occur in the early seasons, in the form of Hawkeye being named Chief Surgeon. If this change was going to occur so early anyway, my narrative-structure-loving brain insists that this would make a perfect inciting incident for the series as a whole. Overall, this episode strikes me as the Pilot that should have been.

We open with the excellent image of Trapper John using two bedpans for a foot soak. What could sum up the spirit of Trapper and Hawkeye better? Hospital equipment--designed specifically as shit receptacles, no less--appropriated for personal pleasure, a sorry approximation of what they’d rather be doing and where they��d rather be (much like golf in the minefield, or any time the two of them sip martinis together in lawn chairs in front of the Swamp). It also serves a practical purpose related directly to one of the many discomforts associated with their work; Trapper complains that he wishes they’d let them operate sitting down. The long hours in O.R. will be a well of discomfort the show draws from again and again; here they’re evoked through an efficient, characterful visual gag.

While Trapper is soaking and Hawkeye is drinking a martini and hugging a guitar (does he even play it? An odd detail, chosen for its aesthetic more than anything, I suspect), Frank has been busy typing away. He interjects, “Haven’t you two anything better to do when you’re off-duty than to lie around and swill gin?” This peevish comment not only sets him apart from Trapper and Hawkeye, it also introduces the main conflict. The driving force of the episode is the clash of personalities between Hawkeye and Frank: an interpersonal conflict, for the first time, rather than an externally imposed one. While both internal and external conflict can lend themselves to good storytelling, it’s satisfying to see a show able to mine its own cast of characters for motivated plot lines this early in the game, and it breaks up the repetitive pattern of the the previous three episodes.

The following exchange about what Frank is typing offers us Frank Burns in a nutshell, fully formed as he has not yet been presented to us. He’s writing his patients back home--not because he’s concerned for them, mind you; they’re form letters, he tells Hawkeye without shame. No, Frank Burns is concerned only for himself and retaining the patients whom he sees as nothing but the cash cows that have allowed him to buy his infamous “$35,000 house and two cars.” The exaggeration of his military exploits in his letters also give us a taste of Frank’s jingoism and yearning for wartime glory.

The bickering continues in O.R. and comes to a head when Oliver, a brain surgeon, asks the others what to do about a pancreatic injury. Frank and Hawkeye give conflicting answers; Frank’s is by the book, but Hawkeye’s is based on more recent medical knowledge. “You’re a year behind in journals,” he accuses. This humiliation prompts Frank to file a complaint with Col. Blake pressing charges against Hawkeye, which in turn prompts Col. Blake to appoint a head surgeon to avoid future conflict.

“You may just turn out to be one of the good guys yet, Henry.”

Henry’s unorthodox decision to make Hawkeye Chief Surgeon, despite Frank outranking him, is a turning point for his character. It’s the first time he’s been more than passively aligned with Hawkeye; he’s actually taking a stance for the moral position of the show, and at some personal risk. He knows Hawkeye is the better surgeon, but is wary of his irreverent ways. “Don’t let me down,” he tells Hawkeye, and Hawkeye responds, “Would I do anything to disgrace this uniform?” He’s wearing, of course, nothing but his boxers, undershirt, and robe. But that outfit is the Hawkeye uniform. It represents the man and his values far better than his Class As. In a way, him swearing on his beloved ratty, red robe is as good a promise as you can get out of him. He’ll be the better Chief Surgeon because of who he is and because he puts the patients first, not the Army and its empty symbols. Henry knows this, and casts his lot with Hawkeye.

There’s an ironic exchange between Frank and Hawkeye in Henry’s office: Frank says, “You were still working in a hospital when they called you up,” (as opposed to Frank, who’d been in practice 3 years) to which Hawkeye says, “I realize it’s ridiculous for a doctor to work in a hospital. It really screws up your golf.” Presumably, working in a hospital has not earned Hawkeye a $35,000 house and two cars. Here the show seems to be venturing beyond its usual purview of poking fun at military hypocrisy to question American consumerism and supposed meritocracy at large.

The face of disappointment

The scenes between Frank and Margaret reveal the true underpinnings of their relationship. It’s not just a love of “the Army way” that unites them; it’s a parasitic feedback loop in which Frank turns to Margaret for comfort and validation of his masculinity, and Margaret enables his grovelling by babying him while longing for a “real” man. Margaret no doubt believes she can “fix” him. They both want the other to parent them, but only Frank gets his needs met. Later, when she and Frank are canoodling in her tent and he asks to be called “tiger,” it’s pretty clear she’s not really into it. Oh Margaret, you can do so much better! In light of this unsatisfying arrangement, I don’t find it hard to believe that she is happy to receive the attentions of the generals that pass through in these early days.

“What’d I get on the humble-meter?”

At Hawkeye’s “coronation ceremony,” he says the following in his speech: “When you live in a cruddy situation like this long enough, you get to love a few people, and even hate a few. I guess outside of our families, we’ll never be closer to anybody than we are to each other.” One of his hands is on Radar’s shoulder, the other on Trapper’s. There’s a moment of solemn silence, and then Trapper breaks in: “You finished?” Hawkeye asks him, “What’d I get on the humble-meter?” I can’t help but compare this moment to another Hakweye speech where he talks about his love for the 4077 family, the eulogy he gives in S11 Ep05 “Who Knew?” By that point the show, and Hawkeye himself, was far beyond the point of undercutting a heartfelt moment with humor. And by then, it’s truly earned, after Hawkeye’s been there nearly three years.

I suppose one could think that Hawkeye is being genuine here, and only pulls back due to Trapper’s interjection, but I don’t believe there’s anything in his characterization thus far to suggest that. The only times Hawkeye gets serious are when he’s angry. He doesn’t do sincere; not yet. This a perfect example of Hawkeye the irreverent performer. He says exactly the sort of thing one is “supposed” to say in that sort of speech, and then Trapper sets him up for the “humble-meter” punchline. Besides, he’s only been in Korea a few months at most. I don’t doubt his fondness for Radar and Trapper, but they’re not like family just yet.

Finally, General Barker arrives, answering Frank’s call (though of course, he really comes because of Margaret, of whom he clearly has fond memories). Frank complains that the new chief surgeon is keeping a patient waiting in surgery while he plays poker. As Hawkeye explains to Barker, he has a sound medical reason; he’s waiting for the patient to stabilize to see if operation is truly necessary, and has a nurse keeping close watch. As opposed to in the pilot, where General Hammond was convinced of Hawkeye and Trapper’s skill after witnessing a routine O.R. session, here Hawkeye’s medical judgment is directly questioned and then proven. When he finally is forced to operate on the patient, he explains to General Barker his rationale for going about the operation the way he does. He looks for a small hole in the patient’s lingula, something he only knows to check for through experience, and thus wins General Barker’s respect. We’re shown, not told, just how good Hawkeye is at his job and why he deserves to be Chief Surgeon.

“This place is a madhouse, Henry, a nut farm!”

General Barker’s little tour through the camp while looking for Henry is as fine a summation of the 4077 as any. He encounters no fewer than four amorous couples: the soldier hiding the prostitute under his poncho (I thought nurse at first, but the high heels and apparent shortness of her skirt seem to point toward working girl); Oliver and Ginger playing “strip dominoes,” a game I’m pretty sure they invented; Margaret and Frank, proving they’re no “better” than the rest of them; and Henry himself with a nurse, whom Henry, bless his heart, is excited to show the worms he’s caught for fishing. Barker also finds Radar posted up at Henry’s desk drinking his brandy and smoking his cigars while reading comic books. While this isn’t exactly in keeping with Radar’s later innocent and wide-eyed characterization, to me this is a perfect encapsulation of a child trying on the trappings of manhood. It especially strikes a chord when I think of how Radar would come to look up to Henry as a pseudo-father-figure. And, of course, Barker encounters Corporal Klinger, and finally it feels like I’m really watching MASH. When Barker informs Henry that the man on guard duty is wearing a skirt, Henry’s response is, “Yeah, well, luckily he’s got the legs for it!” It might have been meant as nothing but a throwaway joke, but I’m adding a point to the “Henry’s one of the good guys” column.

Other thoughts:

We get Hawkeye’s first mention of a sister, though I suspect it’s just a matter of speech; he needs his poker winnings so he can buy his sister a new truss (I assume in the medical sense of “a device worn to reduce a hernia by pressure,” which adds to my conviction that the whole thing is a joke)

Henry doesn’t seem all that bothered by Klinger appearing naked. I wish I could hear what he was saying to Barker.

Frank actually asks Hawkeye for help in the O.R. at the end! I would say that’s growth, but it doesn’t seem to stick.

Favorite line: the line that might have made me fall in love with MASH on my first watch, Hawkeye’s recipe for a perfect martini: “You pour six jiggers of gin and you drink it while staring at a picture of Lorenzo Schwartz, the inventor of vermouth.” (Although Hawk seems to have pulled this name out of his ass. Antonio Benedetto Carpano is credited with the invention of vermouth, while Joseph Noilly was the first to create a dry version, in 1813.)

A note: I won’t be attempting to do a write-up for every episode. I’m planning to skip to those I have the most to say about, or perhaps combine some strings of episodes together.

#mash meta #mash #m*a*s*h #mash chief surgeon who #mash 1x04 #dear mash #my meta

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seefasters · 1 year

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Regina spektor anon again (hi!!!) Getting through mash at an unbelievable pace cus ive been putting it on while i ink a 20-something page comic. Im at the end of s7. Margaret being part of hawkeye and bjs little crew is amazing. Her lightening up a bit and also getting more, like, consciously written as sad and hardened by her experiences is soo good. Also i think by s7 theyve finally (correctly) landed on the idea that she does not need to be paired off with hawk or charles or any main cast male in order to justify her presence. Thank god for that cus her Platonic Chemistry with ppl, esp hawkeye, is off the charts. Shes my favorite character i think (her and hawkeye anyhow)- shes just so compelling. Shes also getting a little more masculine sometimes. You see her in fatigues and shit like that which yknow👀. Sapphic hotlips agenda (i know what was up when that old childhood friend came to visit). Btw I love Charles. Hes awful and elitist and a chauvinist but hes definitely a far better foil than frank cus he's capable of holding his own against bj and hawk and he's not a warguy rlly. (I say this with great affection for larry linville and for frank as a character, cus he was great too!! Its just that i like charles more) and watching charles warm up very slowly is great. I tend to not be on charles's side but its very satisfying to watch hawkeye get put in his place sometimes and it also makes it a lot more satisfying to see ppl get one over on charles because its actually a challenge. Speaking of which, i loved in love and war and inga Very Much. What stellar episodes. I demand More slamming hawk into the ground about his misconceptions and fuckups (affectionate) especially regarding women. Also the show made me cry again- when hawkeye tells radar off and makes him cry, margaret's little dog monologue, and especially especially when mulcahy punches that wounded man during the xmas ep??? :,>( the shame he felt was so relatable and touching. again thanks for introducing me to this series, its such a joyful experience to get to know this piece of art and experience it. Ooh oh also, i wanted to weigh in on the Where To Start Debate. While im not a purist and i think any way a person comes to a piece of art is valid, imo the best way to do MASH is to start from the start. The sexism and racism was genuinely very disheartening, and the cornier, sitcom-ier writing does make it feel a little less essential than subsequent episodes and seasons but honestly if you're in for the longhaul it ultimately deepens the experience cus so much of subsequent MASH is invested in interrogating its past, generally thru giving margaret more of a voice and by complicating Hawkeye's role as the guy we the audience are meant to agree with and identify with. The satisfaction that comes with deepening Margarets characterization and taking her problems more seriously is partially predicated on, for example, the early shows casually dismissive attitude regarding instances wherein she was sexually assaulted or harrassed or demeaned. I hope they continue doing that. I know that that isnt an experience everyone wants, but it feels rlly cool to watch the show learn empathy and grow from its crueler, fratbro-ish perspective to something more holistically empathetic. Sorry thats soooo many words dont feel obligated to respond if its too much. I just have thoughts. Thanks.

aaaaaaa hi anon!!!!!! i love reading your thoughts dw <3

margaret's character arc is definitely one of the best things in mash. everyone say thank you to loretta swit for fighting for her character

and yes wlw margaret is so real!!! some ppl hc her as a lesbian, i personally prefer to think of her as bisexual bc her relationships with men on the show are too important to her character to consider them comphet. 2 me. all headcanons are beautiful though love is love

i'm so happy you like charles! he's definitely a more fitting antagonist for the kind of show mash became by season 6. the way his character is explored does add a lot more depth to the show (and at some point i feel you'll find yourself rooting for charles too lol. maybe! maybe not) and dont worry there will be more slamming hawkeye into the ground. maybe too much even

and i think you're right about starting mash from the pilot! part of my enjoyment of mash is about seeing how it changes, evolves and confronts its own shortcomings. for some people that might not be the case though, so i generally think if someone's not vibing with season 1's pacing or jokes but still wants to check out the show, s2 is a solid place to start. it has a soft pilot AND it's one of the best seasons of television ever like literally win win

youre always welcome in my inbox!!! i'm v jealous of you experiencing mash for the first time tbh so i'm living vicariously through you lol

#im not against starting with season 4 i just cant imagine missing out on henry and trapper lmao #but if you're here more for the drama/character moments than the comedy than its a perfectly reasonable way to start #the right way to watch mash is with love in your heart #its me talking #vanya watches mash #long post

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let-it-raines · 4 years

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your wonder under summer skies (8/?)

Summer in Storybrooke, Maine means one thing for its residents: tourist season. This year, for Emma Swan and Killian Jones, it means relationships ending and friendships changing all the while they attempt to figure out just what their relationship is. It’s somewhere straddling the line between friends and lovers, and there’s no guarantee of a soft landing if they fall into new territory.

rating: mature

ao3: beginning | current

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-/-

“What time are we supposed to be there?”

“Six,” Killian shouts across the apartment, “but it’d probably be nice if we managed to get there early.”

“It’s your party. They can’t start without you.”

Killian runs his hands through his hair and brushes the front strands back before combing a small amount of gel through it so it’ll stay in place. “It’s a barbecue that I think they realized they were hosting on my birthday at the last minute. It’s not my party.”

“It’s your party, little brother.”

Killian clenches his teeth before he swallows his pride. He’s not going to start something, not now. They’ve had a good day together, and the last thing he needs is to have Liam being passive aggressive to him all night long. He’s been cross for a week now, ever since Killian didn’t come home and asked Liam if he’d let Skipper out in the morning for him.

“Where were you?” Liam asked.

“I was with someone,” Killian mumbled as he pushes through the apartment door. “I’ll try to plan better next time.”

“Next time? So you’ve found your seasonal woman then?”

“Shove it, Liam.”

“If you want me to take care of your dog, you at least owe me some answers.”

Killian turned on his heel and narrowed his eyes. “My personal life is my own. Question it again at your own peril.”

“Oh, so maybe you didn’t find someone. You’re usually cheerier after a night like that.”

“Fuck off.”

He’s got to figure out some kind of plan for Skipper if that’s how Liam is going to be every time Killian doesn’t manage to get home before dawn. That night he’d been sitting in a service station parking lot until seven talking with Emma and had lost track of time, but he’ll have to be more careful.

Or get Emma one of those rope ladders in order to climb out the window.

She’d murder him.

Then again, it’d be better than sending her falling out the window.

The rope ladder, not being murdered.

“It’s a barbecue,” Killian sighs as he grabs a flannel shirt off the hanger and pulls it on. It’s too hot for it now, but it won’t be later. The summer heat fades away as soon as the sun goes down, and he’s certainly not going to complain about it when it’s the best part of any late June day. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready. We’ve got to pick up Elsa on our way there.”

“Her apartment is on the other side of town.”

“She’s at the country club with Emma. We’re picking her up, too.”

“Oh?” Killian raises his brow.

Liam furrows his in response. “What?”

“Nothing,” he lies, not wanting to push anything. “Let’s go. You can drive. It’s my birthday, and I’m not about to be the designated driver.”

“Consider it my gift to you.”

Emma and Elsa are waiting for them in the driveway of the club. Elsa’s in the shorts and polo she wears to work, the only thing missing the apron that keeps the ice cream off of her. Emma, however, is in a form-fitting black camisole tucked into a white patterned skirt that’s nearly see-through in the sunlight. He’s got no bloody clue how she got away with wearing that to work unless Regina wasn’t around, but he’s certainly not going to complain.

Except for the fact that they’re about to be in an extremely public place where he can’t enjoy her attire as much as he’d like to.

“Hey,” Elsa greets as she hops into the back of the truck. “Happy birthday, Killian.”

“Thank you, love.” Emma’s door opens behind him, and she slides in. “Do we need to take you by your place so you can change?”

“What? My uniform doesn’t scream birthday barbecue to you?”

“You have a giant ice cream cone on your shoulder.”

Elsa’s eyes roll. “I don’t need to change. We can go.”

“Aye, aye Captain,” Liam sighs, his lips pulled into a bright smile as he stares in the rearview mirror. Elsa chuckles and returns his smile, and Killian looks away. He’s not intruding, but it damn well feels like it.

Elsa and Liam monopolize the conversation on the drive to the Nolans’ as Elsa fills Liam in on everything having to do with the wedding. The thing isn’t for three months, but as he’s been informed over and over again, that isn’t a lot of time when there’s still so much to be done.

(There are pictures of flowers spread out across his kitchen counter with notes written on all of them, and he has no idea how that is going to help come up with a bouquet or arrangements when there are at least fifty options that will lead to endless combinations and possibilities.)

It’s nice to see Liam involved, though. He’s usually so wrapped up in work that he rarely does anything outside of that.

But this is Elsa, and Liam would do anything for Elsa.

He gets that trait from their mum, Killian thinks. She was always beyond loyal to the people she loved even when that was to her own detriment.

They pull onto the road that leads up to the Nolans’ townhome, and Liam finds a spot behind Ariel’s car. She’s already texted him three times today to tell him how excited she is for it to be Killian’s birthday, and he honestly doesn’t think he’s known a singular person to have so much enthusiasm.

Liam and Elsa fall into step ahead of him, Liam’s arm wrapped around Elsa’s shoulder, and Killian feels Emma’s hand brush against his as a shiver inches across his skin. He looks down to see if it’s still there, but it’s not. She’s got it pushed into the pocket of her skirt, and when he glances up, he can see that she’s looking in the opposite direction.

Is she avoiding him?

“Did you have a good day at work?”

“It was fine. Regina was the worst, but otherwise it was fine.”

“Oh? Regina was there today?”

Emma finally turns to him with an arched brow. “Why would you think she wasn’t there?”

“Because she’s rarely there, and I know for a fact that when she is, you have to be a little more uptight with your clothes.”

Emma stops in front of the Nolans’ open front door and crosses her arms over her chest. “What are you saying about my clothes, KJ?”

Killian raises his hands in the air and takes a step back even as he curls his lips into a smile he knows is his most earnest. Well, in a way.

“You cut quite the figure in that outfit, love, but I can also see almost all of your figure in the natural light.”

Her eyes widen and the sunlight glints across them to illuminate the green. “You can what?”

Killian gestures down to her skirt. “I can see the outline of your legs through your skirt, Swan.”

“Can you see my underwear?”

“Eh.” He scratches his ear. “Possibly.”

“Well, shit. I’ve been walking around like this all day. When is the sun going to set so I can stop flashing people?”

“In a few hours.”

“Great. So I’m about to flash all of our friends?”

“Every single person here has seen you in the small scraps of fabric you call a bikini. I think you’ll be fine.”

She tilts her head back, elongating her neck, and groans. “It’s fine, I guess. It’s too late to change now unless I want to wear Mary Margaret’s clothes, and I like this outfit. Happy birthday, by the way. Did you get the cupcakes I sent you?”

“Aye. I had the lemon one. I saved the chocolate one for you. I figured you’d picked that one out for yourself anyway.”

“I am neither confirming nor denying that.”

“I don’t tend to eat chocolate, and you sent me one chocolate cupcake in a group of otherwise nicely flavored cupcakes. It’s pretty clear.”

Emma shrugs, but her lips curl up in the corners. “I’ve got something else for you, too.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

“Mhm.”

Killian sways closer to her and cocks his head to the side. “Do I get it now or is that happening when you come over to get your cupcake?”

“It’s for now.”

“Why, Swan, so close to all of our friends? That’s risky.”

She presses up on her toes, and he swears her lips brush over his. “I’m not having sex with you for your birthday, but I do have you tickets to a Yankees game in August.”

“Bloody hell. Really?”

“Really.” She presses forward and brushes her lips against his cheek. “Happy birthday, KJ. Feel free to take whoever you want to the game, but if it’s not me, I’m gonna be pissed.”

Killian throws his head back and laughs before leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Emma. “Will is going to fight you for it, but you’re definitely a contender.”

“Good. Now let’s go inside. A whole host of people are waiting inside to celebrate you.”

“I think they’re here for the food.”

“Eh, don’t get into the specifics.”

Emma’s right. There is a host of people waiting inside for him. It’s rare for all of them to have off on the same day, especially a Saturday night, and even if he is not one to want a big celebration for himself, it’s nice to get to catch up with everyone. Though, he does remind himself that this was never intended for him, but that doesn’t matter when the food is good and the beer is cold against his lips.

Ruby and Will are currently arguing over the best way to make a margarita, Mary Margaret is offering to set up a competition between them, and David is insisting that doesn’t happen because Mary Margaret and tequila are not a good combination.

“Oh come on,” Elsa sighs, “let’s do the competition. I want to relive Mary Margaret’s bachelorette weekend.”

“Can’t that wait until your own bachelorette weekend?” David groans.

“Mine is hopefully going to consist of a weekend at the spa and the exact opposite of Mary Margaret’s because Anna is planning it instead of Ruby.”

“Hey,” Ruby scoffs, “what the hell does that mean?”

“I think it means that if anyone is going host a party with gummy dicks, it’s going to be you.”

“I did for mine,” Ariel adds in.

“Wait? What?” Eric looks over at his wife, and Killian hears Emma snicker in the lawn chair next to him. “You had those?”

“I did. They were really good. I think I still have some of the packets stuffed away in a closet somewhere.”

“Ruby can get you some more,” Mary Margaret says. “She’s got a contact at the company who makes them.”

“Liam, it seems like we’re all set for your party then.”

Liam tosses a cube of ice at Killian, but he misses him as it skims behind him. “I might let you plan it, or I might let Rob takeover. He’s less likely to get us arrested.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means law enforcement finds my face kinder than yours,” Robin sighs. “And you do have a tendency to, well, get yourself in trouble.”

“I’ve never gotten myself bloody arrested!”

“Okay,” Will claps, “I think we can all agree that I will be the host as I am the only one of the lot of you who knows how to have a good time.”

“Oh, why don’t we do one together,” Elsa suggests. “We can take out one of the big boats for a day and just hang out. Like this, but better because we’re out on the water. We can find a day where Anna can come down.”

“I think that’s a brilliant idea, darling. Maybe we could find a house and get out of the city for a weekend.” Liam leans over and kisses Elsa’s forehead. “We’ll even let Ruby get the dick gummies if she really has to have that.”

“I do. I also want birthday cake, so birthday boy, can we please finally cut in before I have to take the entire thing for myself?”

“Let’s eat cake,” Killian demands. “And have the margarita contest.”

David slumps down in his chair and covers his face with his hands.

They don’t actually hold a contest, deciding that no one actually wants to see Will and Mary Margaret argue for the rest of the night, but Ruby does get her cake. Killian’s body has to be made up of fifty percent sugar at this point in the day, but he honestly doesn’t care. The sun sets and the backyard is lit only by the string lights hanging above them and the lights shining through the windows in the houses across the street. Rob’s left to meet up with Regina, her son, and Roland, and Eric had to leave to tend to the restaurant but left Ariel behind. She’s taken that as a sign that she has to talk his ear off about next week’s Fourth of July beach festival.

“Don’t you remember when you first moved here and you thought it was the worst thing in the world?”

“I still think it’s the worst thing in the world.”

“But it’s so much fun! The city brings in rides and games, and the firework show. My God, it’s like magic. Plus, Eric makes a killing at the restaurant from all the extra people that come in. Oh, Emma!”

Killian glances behind him and sees Emma walking by with half a hot dog in her mouth. “What?”

“Don’t you think the carnival is so much fun?”

She covers her mouth and keeps chewing as she walks over to them. “I think it has the potential to be fun, but it usually ends with some kid throwing up on my shoes or me having to go into work because Regina is fuming over the festival we do for our members not being as lavish.”

“Oh, come on, the two of you need to lighten up. It’s going to be fun!”

“I will try to muster half of the enthusiasm that you have, love.”

“That’s all I ask. Are there still hot dogs?”

“A few more, but you’re going to have to fight David for them.”

“Oh, I can definitely take him. I’ll be right back.”

Ariel leaves them, and Emma plops herself down into the chair next to him before propping her feet up on his lap and kicking off her sandals while she continues to eat her food.

“Were you not considering a plate for that?”

“Nope.”

“Classy.”

She shrugs. “I do what I can. So, how’s your night been? I thought you were going to hurl yourself at Liam earlier.”

Killian’s brow raises. “Pardon?”

“When he made that joke about you likely getting them arrested at his bachelor party you looked like you were getting ready to murder him.”

“Did I?”

“I mean, you pretty much always look like you’re going to murder him, but your jaw did that thing where it clenches and moves all broody and angry like.”

He swallows and blinks at Emma, letting his eyes adjust to the ever-darkening night. There must be clouds in the sky for how few stars are showing, and maybe if he stares at it long enough, he won’t have to have this conversation.

He could really use another beer right now.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’d get anyone arrested. You like to play scoundrel, but I’m pretty sure you’ve always been the type to play by the rules.”

“Swan, we both know that’s a lie. Even when I was a buttoned-up Naval lieutenant I still hated not being the one in charge. So many of the damn rules were ridiculous.”

“Like what?”

He draws his finger to his neck. “I would be reprimanded if I had a hickey on my neck. The damn things are unattractive, yes, but I don’t think I deserved to be punished for it.”

“That happen to you a lot then? Your women couldn’t keep their hands off of you? Well, their mouth.”

Emma’s laughing at herself, but he feels his stomach sink with her words. But she doesn’t know. He’s never told her.

And now certainly isn’t the time.

“I think you’d be surprised with how I was when I was younger.”

“Yeah?”

“Aye. I mean, I was still this handsome and charming, but I could keep a woman for longer than a summer.”

“I’m sure you could.”

She shifts her foot on his lap and Killian’s hand falls to her ankle. Her skin is as soft as it always is, and he starts aimlessly drawing on her skin. Does no one believe that he’s capable of more than one-night stands and summer flings?

Though, he doesn’t blame them. He doesn’t exactly believe that about himself. It’s been a long damn time since he was capable of more than that.

A long time since he’s wanted to be.

“But seriously? You two okay?”

He shakes his head and forces a smile. “We’re fine, darling.”

“Superpower, Jones.”

“Can’t it be wrong one time?”

Emma shrugs and takes the last bite out of her hot dog. “It’s probably wrong all the time, but I like to believe in it.”

Killian sighs.

Damn perceptive woman.

“Liam has been a little cross with me since I wasn’t home last week to let Skipper out. He does this. He assumes I’m with some woman and gets irritated because he can’t understand that I’m not like him and can’t find someone like Elsa who I want to marry and settle down with. I don’t know. He’s thought of himself as my father for most of his life, and I know he means well, but his intentions don’t always translate.”

“Was that when you were with me?”

“Aye.”

Emma’s foot moves to shift off of him, but he grabs it and keeps it in place before looking up at her. She’s chewing on her bottom lip and has her head twisted to the side. Light reflects off her cheekbones and illuminates the angles of her face and reaches up into her hair. It’s usually golden like threads from a fairytale, but right now it’s a translucent white that matches the smile he’s usually lucky enough to be graced with.

He’s known many beautiful women in his lifetime, but there is something so undeniably different about Emma Swan.

A yellow wildflower in a garden full of red roses. Some people prefer roses with all of their petals perfectly lined up, but he’s always been a fan of flowers showing up in a place they otherwise do not fit and becoming beautiful all the same.

He’s always preferred a wildflower to a rose.

Emma Swan is undoubtedly a wildflower.

“If I’m coming between you guys…” She trails off and worries her bottom lip. “I don’t know. I don’t want that.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

She motions over to where Liam is sitting at a table with Elsa, David, and Mary Margaret. “You and Liam. I’m the woman you’re sleeping with. I’m the one who is keeping you from having this stable relationship you so want. And we both know he would implode if he found any of this out.”

“You are not keeping me from anything. If I wanted something stable, I’d have it.” Killian pushes her foot off of him and leans forward until his face is within inches of hers and he can see the green of her eyes and the freckles on her nose. He likes that there are more nearly every time he sees her. “And last week I was with you because you needed me as a friend. I’m always going to be here for you like that. That’s rule one, isn’t it?”

Emma huffs and blinks up at him before she finally stops chewing on her lip and smiles. “Hey, it’s your birthday. We should be having more fun than this, shouldn’t we?”

And he knows it’s a conversation change. He’s not blind. But he also isn’t in the mood to push Emma right now. She will push back, and it doesn’t always end up being pretty.

“What do you suggest we do then, love?”

“Do you feel like an old school classic with some drinks involved or should we go raid David and Mary Margaret’s game cabinet?”

“Oh, classic, definitely. You want to do the cereal box one?”

“Is that the one where we all have to pick it up with our mouths? That’s kind of unsanitary.”

Killian’s brows raise. “Your mouth has touched many places on me, so I think you’ll be okay.”

Emma scoffs and pushes against his shoulder. “Don’t be gross. We’re going to do ‘Never Have I Ever’ because this is your twenty-eighth birthday, and we’re all super mature.”

“Obviously. We should have let Mary Margaret and Will do their margarita contest in preparation for this.”

“Mary Margaret’s would have won. “

“If you tell Will that, it will devastate him.”

She shrugs and stands up, stepping into her shoes. “I’ll let him keep his pride. Now, c’mon, it’s time to ask each other very pointed embarrassing questions in the spirit of celebrating your birth.”

-/-

@qualitycoffeethings @mrtinski @klynn-stormz @scarletslippers @jonirobinson64 @snowbellewells @therealstartraveller776 @thejollyroger-writer @sherifemma @shardminds @captainsjedi @galaxyzxstark @galadriel26 @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @teamhook @spartanguard @searchingwardrobes @itsfabianadocarmo @jamif @shireness-says @ultimiflos @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @onepunintendid @bluewildcatfanatic @superchocovian @killianswannn @carpedzem @captainkillianswanjones @mayquita @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @a-faekindagirl @scientificapricot @xellewoods @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @singersdd @tornadoamy @cluttermind @lfh1226-linda @andiirivera

#your wonder under summer skies #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan

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true-blue-megamind · 3 years

Text

Daylight and Dark Ch. 3 - Ares

Photo by Joe Waranont

Some Yuletide silliness and... At last! Enter the villain!

CHAPTER RATING: Teen; FULL FICTION RATING: Explicit. WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE WORK: violence, sex, language, references to prior domestic abuse, and rock n’ roll! CHAPTER WARNINGS: brief description of violence.

There is nothing NSFW in this chapter, but it is a bit long, so I am adding a Click Here to Keep Reading link. You can also read the entire entire fiction HERE.

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There were moments in life when Roxanne couldn't help but think about perspective: about how funny it was that a person could never clearly see the road to their destination until that destination had been reached. She'd felt that way one bitter winter morning, in her office, when she had suddenly realized that she was becoming one of those sentimental hack reporters she'd always hated. She'd felt that way on the long-ago windy spring afternoon when she had finally understood that she would never have feelings for Metro Man, and she'd felt it on the early summer day last year when she'd learned, to her own surprise, she was in love with his former nemesis. Roxanne had that same feeling tonight. Stepping out of the taxi Megamind had insisted on paying for she'd immediately been met by three brainbots, two of which immediately took charge of her small suitcase. Greeting them with pats, she had walked the last block through the biting December chill with her unusual escort bowging at her heels. The little cyborgs had darted away once their charge reached Megamind's invisible doorstep, probably to inform their master of her arrival. Now she stood alone and stared at a cross-stitched sampler, hung incongruously beside what appeared to be a solid wall, which read: "Lair Sweet Lair" in slightly crooked letters. What was he up to?

That September afternoon on the balcony, after the first night they'd made love, had been a turning point in Roxanne and Megamind's relationship. She had expected that, of course, but now that she had arrived at this still-mysterious milestone in her life, something in the back of her mind teased that it had been even more important than she'd realized. They had shared deep, personal sorrows, hidden from all other eyes, and an impenetrable glass wall had been removed. She realized, at this moment, that something undefinable had happened as well. Ever since that day, something had begun building between them, unnoticed and unspoken, creating a channel into which two spirits were poured and mingled. Try though she might, however, that something refused to slide into focus. It was both elating and terrifying, for Roxanne had not fully expected the cozy intensity that she and Megamind had found. How was it possible to feel so relaxed, so at home, around someone that being near him was like snuggling into a favorite sweater, while still feeling so powerfully and passionately attached to that same person that he made you antsy, strangely warm, and a little nervous? How was it even possible to feel simultaneously self-conscious and comfortable in the first place?

The oddity of those emotions was disconcerting enough, but worse still was the fact that Roxanne had realized that she no longer loved solitude, because solitude meant Megamind wasn't around. True, she still enjoyed many of the same quiet hobbies— reading books, binging sci-fi movies, solving crossword puzzles—but now she was only happy if a certain blue alien was beside her, busily sketching design schematics for his latest invention, or pointing out in hilariously descriptive detail why a particular piece of film prop "space tech" wouldn't actually work at all. She had always disdained those couples who seemed to be attached at the hip: the sort that showed up to every party together and skipped any function one of them couldn't attend. Now it seemed she was becoming half of one. Worst of all, she didn't mind. She liked it. She was sublimely happy with it.

What is wrong with me?

She and Megamind had fallen into an easy rhythm as serene and unquestioning as the deepest friendship, yet had retained all the fire and ardor of a new infatuation. A traitorous little voice in her head asked if this was the way people felt before they got married, moved to the suburbs, gained ten pounds, and started daydreaming about babies. She refused to listen, refused to even consider the possibility of leaving chic professionalism for matrimonial doom, but that same little voice reminded her that it wouldn't be so bad as long as it was with Megamind. Despite all her denials, Roxanne had to admit that something new had grown between herself and her favorite hero, inching up, bit by bit, undetected, until suddenly she noticed it was all around her. Small kindnesses, shared moments, camaraderie, and passion had all built into something beautiful, strange, and a little scary.

Which is what brought her to tonight and her current situation, as she stood shivering in the winter evening, looking at that foolish sampler and wondering why the sight of it set alarm bells ringing in her head. Megamind had invited her over, insisting that he had a Christmas gift that couldn't wait for Christmas, and she had not considered the oddity of the date until this moment.

Why now? Why tonight?

That was it. Roxanne's eyes widened with a realization that should have been obvious. Today was December 12th. Exactly eighteen years ago Margaret Ritchi, Roxanne's mother, had taken a turn too quickly, swerved on icy pavement, and ended her life. Although it wasn't unusual for Roxanne to visit her lover in the middle of the week, it was unlike Megamind to ask her over at a specific time, especially when she had just gotten back into town, tired after a business trip, which indicated that he probably had something planned. It would be exactly like him to researched old traffic incidents just so that he could invite her over to cheer her up on the anniversary of her mother's death.

The question was, was he just planning on distracting her from her memories, or did he have something more serious in mind?

"Miss Ritchi," Minion appeared through the hologram wall, less than two feet away from Roxanne. She had to crane her neck up to look into the fishy face set atop his six-foot-tall robotic body. "Miss Ritchi, if you please, could you come inside? He's been watching you on the monitor for ten minutes and he's starting to worry."

"Oh, I… Of course. I'm sorry Minion. I just—"

It was always odd watching a fish smile. "No apologies needed. Just come inside before you freeze."

He ushered her through with the wave of a metallic arm, and Roxanne stopped so suddenly that he nearly crashed into her as he followed.

"Oh, my…"

Garlands. The Evil Lair was strung with garlands of faux evergreen twigs, plastic holly, and red and gold ribbons. Multiple strings of colored lights, hung with no apparent order or plan in mind, blinked, chased, and sparkled in crisscrossing lines until the flashing dials and blinking buttons in the workroom looked like no more than additional decorations. In the middle of the yuletide chaos stood a massive Christmas tree, its top nearly lost in the shadows of the high ceiling. Brainbots hovered and buzzed around it, trimming it in a haphazard fashion that Roxanne suspected explained the random order of the rest of the decorations. Most of the items being hung on the tree were normal— glass balls, silvery snowflakes, diminutive, jolly Santas— but every now and again a brain bot added a shiny bit of wire or a large metal nut. Christmas carols were blaring from the nearby stereo.

"Roxanne! What do you think?" Megamind's happy voice startled her from her contemplation. He jumped down the last two industrial steps leading up to the second floor, his face glowing with good cheer and one arm sweeping out proudly to indicate the scene. Roxanne turned her eyes back to the seasonal décor and the happily buzzing robots. After the initial shock, it really wasn't so bad. In fact, it was almost cute, like the messy decorations of enthusiastic children.

"It's wonderful," she answered, turning back to her lover with a genuine smile.

He beamed at her. "I'm so glad you like it! And look," he added with a sly smile. "We've got rocket-toe!"

"Mistletoe, silly," Roxanne smiled, leaning up to give him a soft kiss.

"Rocket, missile, what does it matter? Missiles have rocket propulsion systems."

"Uh-huh," Roxanne's expression was all wry amusement.

"The early Soviet Vostok rockets were based on the R-7 ICBM," Megamind informed her. "So I can see no reason whatsoever why rocket-toe should be any less—"

"Megamind?"

"Hmmm?"

"It's still called Mistletoe."

"Potato, tomato, potato, cucumber," he answered with a teasing grin.

Roxanne laughed. "Cucumber? Really? Why cucumber?"

"Well, they both grow on vines. Yet tomatoes are technically fruits while cucumbers are vegetables."

Roxanne laughed. "I always thought that was kind of weird. I mean: why?"

"They're gourds."

"What?"

"Cucumbers. They're gourds."

"Megamind, I was talking about the tomatoes-are-fruits thing."

"Ah, well, botanically, they're ripened flower ovaries that contain seeds, and—"

"Sir—" interjected Minion.

"And this will really blow your mind: so are zucchinis!"

"Sir—"

"Think about it: cucumbers and zucchinis, so similar yet so different."

"Sir! Didn't you have something to show Miss Ritchi?"

"Oh! Of course!" his face lit up, and he grabbed Roxanne's hand. "Come up! You'll love this! Wait until you see the dining room!"

"Dining… But you don't have a—"

"We do now! Follow me!"

He pulled her bodily past the command room and back up the metal stairs, her surprise growing with every step. The conference room near the kitchen— which had never seemed to serve much purpose since any meetings involved only Megamind, Minion, and, during the last several months, Roxanne— had, indeed, been transformed into a cozy dining room. Another garland swagged across the doorway, and a dark wood table, set as if in expectation of a festive meal, displayed a centerpiece of holly and ribbons surrounding three crème-colored candles. Beside the industrial stairs leading to the third floor— their banisters also bedecked in Yuletide fashion— the plain bathroom that had once served the offices over the factory had been updated and expanded. It looked as if it belonged in a wealthy grandma's house— if Granny had decided to go Goth. A largely unused, cavernous storage space had been turned into a sitting room. It proudly boasted not only a black leather sofa, matching recliner, and built-in dark wood bookshelves stuffed with second-hand volumes, but also an old-fashioned pot-bellied stove that Roxanne was almost certain was against fire codes. In one corner, a more elegantly decorated Christmas tree— probably Minion's work— stood glittering with white lights and antique glass ornaments.

Even that wasn't the most shocking addition to the new living space, however.

"Megamind, there aren't any external walls here. How on earth did you put in windows?"

"Isn't it great?!" he threw himself into the chair, grabbed a remote control from a side pocket, and aimed it at the window. Instantly the view of Metro City Beach was replaced by a forested mountain range.

"It's absurdly simple, really: just a high-definition plasma monitor that I mounted behind framed glass and connected to video feeds that I've had set up in various locations! That conversation we had last autumn about your apartment windows gave me the idea. Look! If you don't like the view, you just change the scenery with a press of a button!"

He clicked the control a couple of more times, bringing up a snow-covered prairie, a quaint French village, and a tropical reef.

"Minion picked out the last one," he explained. "It also interfaces with the supercomputer, so you can use it for research, calls… Look, the frames retract for a better view!" he demonstrated. "Then you push this button, and... voila!" A holographic keyboard had appeared in midair above the remote. Megamind set the device down, and, to Roxanne's astonishment, began typing. A browser popped up on the "window," and he navigated to a video featuring winter scenery to the accompaniment of a Boston Pop's Christmas album.

"Megamind, that's really amazing," Roxanne managed. "All of this is, really... I mean, you've made it so—" she almost said "homey," but bit back the word and finished with: "comfortable."

"I'm glad to hear you say that!" There was something warm in his voice that both thrilled and frightened her. "Oh! Oh! Oh! But it gets even better!" He leaped up and tugged her out of the room. "Let me show you what we've done upstairs!"

The third floor, once comprised of large executive offices, was where Minion and Megamind slept. Roxanne had been there many times in the past weeks, though she was admittedly usually too preoccupied to give much attention to the décor.

Megamind's room had changed from a blacked-out bachelor pad to a stylishly Gothic bedchamber. The walls were a rich blue. A full suite of carved ebony furniture—bed, wardrobe, nightstand, and chest of drawers— had replaced the previous collection of mismatched thrift finds. The ornate four-poster sported a new satin coverlet set in hues of gray, black, and cobalt, and was piled with silky-looking ash-colored pillows that Roxanne suspected matched the sheets. An impressionist oil painting of a historic street at night— rendered almost entirely in blue shades and black shadows— and a large mirror both hung in antique silver frames. Two lamps and a small chandelier, all wrought iron, completed the picture. It belonged on the cover of Evil Lair and Garden. Or maybe as the set of a photoshoot for Bad Boys Weekly. That would be better. All it lacked was its sexy male occupant lounging on the covers. The thought made Roxanne shiver with delight.

Minion's room reminded her of a garden pool, all greens, browns, and teals. Its bamboo furnishings and simple stone accents gave it a slightly Asian ambiance. The style was completely different from Megamind's Vampire Chic bedroom. Full of clean lines and abstract art, it looked more like a post-modern interior design catalog than a Goth culture magazine.

"He picked everything out himself," Megamind was saying. "You should have seen him, like a kid in a candy store! When I told him I wouldn't invade his privacy by bringing you to his room, he was utterly offended! He insisted that if I didn't show you he would never speak to me again. And that I could expect literally everything he cooked to be smothered in mayonnaise for at least a week!" The blue man made a show of shuddering in horror. Looking around, he added: "I should have let him redecorate years ago."

"I'm curious, why is there no bed?"

"Roxanne, he's a fish. He lives in a fishbowl."

The grin she gave him was three parts knowing and one part sly triumph. "And so he has a bedroom because….?"

Megamind blushed a little under his blue tint. "Well, I mean, you know..."

Cocking one arm to rest on her hip, Roxanne gently poked his chest with her other forefinger. "I always knew you were a big softy deep inside, even when you were a supervillain."

He spluttered. "That isn't… I am not… I was disgustingly horrifying! And..."

She laid a finger over his lips. "I always knew, and I love you for it." Smiling into his emerald eyes, she tilted her face up to give him a long, deep kiss. "Now, before you take me back to your new bedroom, tell me: what's that other door at the end of the hall?"

"That, well," He smiled and rubbed one ear, a nervous gesture she had come to adore. "That's my early Christmas present to you. Come have a look."

He took her hand gently this time, and when he pushed open the third door, Roxanne's mouth fell open.

"Ta-da!" he spun to face her, cloak billowing. His tone was all bold showmanship as he swung his arms wide to encompass their surroundings, but Roxanne knew him well enough to recognize the uneasiness hidden behind the bravado.

She stared around wide-eyed at the vaguely familiar round room. Everything in it had been changed so completely that it took her a moment to recognize the place she had awoken during her final kidnapping. The industrial elevator and second floor had been removed. A spiral staircase now led to a cozy loft and catwalk lined with wooden bookcases. All of the equipment had been moved out, the domed walls and ceiling had been expertly plastered and painted, and, where there had once been a telescope with mechanical shutters, there were now two glass doors leading onto a private balcony overlooking Lake Michigan. It was… perfect. Wonderfully, frighteningly perfect. Her own style—too formal to be modern but too clean to be antique—her favorite colors—sage green, sky blue, and soft ivory with cheerful red accents. The bookshelves—obviously custom-made to fit the curving walls—and few other pieces of furniture were warmly-stained oak that exactly matched the contents of her apartment. There were several empty spaces where she was clearly intended to move in her things. Roxanne knew she should have been thrilled—all the work, care, and expense he'd put into this would be enough to make any one of those silly interns goofy with elation—but all she could feel was cold dread.

"I was thinking we could put your living room suite upstairs to make a reading nook! And look!" He grabbed another remote control from a bracket on the wall. "I've renovated the alligator pit!" With the push of a button, a round trap door—one the reporter remembered with something almost like fondness— opened, and a half-moon desk with a cushy office chair rose on a platform to click into place with the rest of the floor. "I've, ah, also included controls in a hidden wall panel. I know how you lose remotes." He paused expectantly. "So, what do you think?" His smile was starting to look a little forced around the edges.

"Wow, Megamind," she tried not to sound unhappy. His feelings could be so easily crushed, though he excelled at hiding it. "This is…unexpected..."

His face fell slightly, and she searched quickly for something more positive to say.

Deciding on gentle honesty, she added: "I mean, this is exactly the way I would have decorated it myself. I had no idea…"

"Really?" God, she hated the vulnerable hope in his eyes.

"It's beautiful. It is. And sweet. But…"

"But?" he urged uncertainly, nervously fiddling with one of the studs on his black leather gauntlet.

"It just… This… All of this… It's happening so fast." It sounded like a canned response even to her.

True to form, her blue-skinned lover tried to put on a brave face with humor. "Oh, come on, you already sleep here more than you do your own place. This would make everything easier."

"Megamind, this is serious. I'm not sure if I'm ready yet."

"If there's one thing I've learned from all my battles, it's that there are some things you'll never feel ready for, but if you really want it, you just have to jump in anyway."

"Okay, but this? We've never even discussed me moving in, and this is just one step away from being married, and… I just…" she sighed. "I love you. I do, but I've never lived with someone before, and I… I need a little time to think this over." she finished lamely. Seeing his unhappy face, she added: "I'm not necessarily saying no, just...not yet."

"But Roxanne—"

"This is a wonderful gesture, but it's so sudden. I just don't think I can."

"Of course you can. Please, Roxanne, Sweetheart, say yes. Stay here with me," his voice took on an almost pleading tone. "It doesn't have to feel like we're living together. That's why you have a separate bedroom. Whenever you need time to yourself, you know I'll always give it to you."

"Megamind, it's not—"

"This doesn't have to be any more than you want it to be."

"Megamind, please—"

"I'll never invade your privacy unless you want me to." He dropped his voice to a sultry purr. "And when I do, I'll invade it very, very well."

"That isn't what—"

"I promise I'll be the best roommate you've ever had. We share a bathroom," he indicated the door on the left-hand wall. "The plumbing was insufficient for two, but there is a double sink. And I can use the facilities downstairs if you need me to."

"That's really sweet, but it's not the issue. I'm not ready for this."

"Stay anyway."

"I can't"

He crossed his arms. "Can't, or won't?"

"Why are you being so pushy about this?! You never push! And now you're asking me to give up my apartment, change my life… Megamind, that's a huge decision!"

"You're right. I never push. I've never before asked you for anything unless it involved protecting this city. But you know what? I'm asking now. This is the only request I've ever made of you. So please, please do this for me."

"Damn it, Megamind, that is so unfair!" Hot tears stung Roxanne's eyes. "I can't! Not yet! I'm not ready! And it's really low of you to pull that never-asked-for-anything card!"

That hit a nerve. "I am NOT pulling a card, Roxanne! I'm being very, very honest!"

"I didn't mean… I just…"

"I'm offering you everything! My home! My privacy! A place in every aspect of my life! I am offering you—a reporter!—all my secrets! I'm offering my feelings, my time, my vulnerability! I'm pulling out my heart here, Roxanne, pulling it out and laying it at your feet! Don't pay me back by stomping on it!"

There was ringing silence for a moment.

"I'm sorry," Megamind said at last. "That was… It wasn't fair of me to say..." He drew in a deep breath. "I just really need you to stay here."

Roxanne swiped at her eyes in frustrated, jerky movements.

"I think I'd better go."

"No! Wait!" he grabbed her arm.

"Let go!" She demanded. He did and she stormed toward the door.

"Roxanne!" Megamind dodged around to block her path. "Roxanne, I'm sorry, but I can't let you leave yet. Please listen to me! I know you're upset, but please let me explain!" He braced his back against the door as she tried to push past him. "This isn't just about me wanting you close! This is about your safety!"

"My… Oh, God, now you're starting with the helpless damsel crap?!" She tried to push past him again. "Let me out!"

"I will, Roxanne, as soon as you hear what I have to tell you."

She glared at him. "Let. Me. Out."

"Sweetheart, please..."

"Megamind, I mean it!" she yelled. "You promised me! You said no more real kidnappings! You promised! Let me out!"

The pain in his eyes was like a punch to Roxanne's heart, and that somehow made her temper burn even higher.

"You promised!" she said again, her voice rising nearly to a shriek.

"That's not what this is, Roxanne! If you would just listen I wouldn't have to do this! You think I like feeling like a monster?!"

"Then stop doing it!"

"I can't. Not when you're trying to run away rather than listen. Look, you're angry. I don't pretend to know why, but I accept that you are," His voice was deliberately calm, emotion simmering underneath, but he held his ground, pressing his weight back harder when she scrabbled for the doorknob. She wanted to slap him. "But, Roxanne, I still need you to listen," Megamind lifted one hand like he meant to touch her cheek, but stopped himself, closing his fingers on thin air. "I know you can take care of yourself under normal circumstances, but things have changed. Something's happened, and now… Metrocity isn't safe for you anymore."

That stopped her in her tracks. "Megamind, what are you talking about?"

"I didn't want to bring this up until I could gather some more information." Fishing into his pocket, he pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "I didn't want to worry you, not until I had a plan…" He sighed. Reluctantly, Megamind handed over a folded letter. His lover opened it to reveal oddly formal calligraphy.

My Dear Hesperos,

I have recently undertaken a business proposition in Metro City, which I understand is under your protection. In general, I applaud your intelligent planning and remarkable success in execution, but I wish you to understand that I cannot allow my operations to be jeopardized. Although your newfound love of justice and position as Defender of Metro City are both, to say the least, surprising, I shall not disparage your change in career. However, I believe that you also have seen enough of the world and society through the eyes of a villain to know that law and justice are, too often, completely disparate, and that sometimes an act of villainy is the only truly righteous course. Therefore I am sending this correspondence as both a professional courtesy and as an offer of peace.

Out of respect and remembered fondness for you, I desire to find a mutually beneficial compromise. It is therefore my hope that this communication will achieve two purposes. First, I wish to assure you that, as my plans currently stand, my activities within your city will neither be aimed against the populace at large nor intended to undermine the normal daily operations of the city itself. I will not, however, insult your intellect or my honor by claiming actions will be viewed, by the strictest interpretation of the law, as anything other than criminal. Nonetheless, be assured that it is my intention to complete my business quickly, discreetly, and without any more loss of life than is necessary. Second, I wish to cordially advise you not to attempt to dissuade me. I do not desire harm to come to you, or any dear to you, but I am a gentleman of business and must protect my interests. If you will consent to allow me to complete my task without interference, you will hardly notice my presence. However, if you take it upon yourself to trouble me, I am afraid I shall have to extract a dire price.

I would take no joy in harming a lovely young lady like Miss Ritchi, but accidents do happen, especially to those who oppose me.

Yours in Good Faith,

Ares Coeus

Roxanne felt slightly cold by the time she finished reading. To think that two minutes ago she'd been worried about whether Megamind wanted to become too serious!

But she hadn't become a star reporter by letting fear control her. "Wow, okay. So, this is... Not what I expected." She looked at him. "I'm sorry... I..."

"It's alright, Love. And I understand. Believe me, it's thrown a wrench into my gears, too."

She nodded, forcing her mind to focus as panic tried once again to drown her natural spunk and curiosity. "Ares? Like the god of war?" she managed a wry grin. "Really? That's a little dramatic." Her attempt at a smile smile felt wrong, like it was stretched too tight.

Megamind didn't share her humor. "Yes, Sweetheart, like the Greek god of war."

Something about that name tugged at the depths of her mind. "I think... I think I remember hearing something about him now. Ares escaped Metro City Prison for the Criminally Insane when I was in the fourth grade. No one except you had ever done it before. No one except you has done it since. People were panicking. Some parents wouldn't let their kids go to school." She paused. "That was weird, now that I think about it. They never did that when you escaped."

"I was not just the local supervillain but also a recognized super-genius. My escaping was almost expected, even if they did everything they could to prevent it. That was just another Tuesday. But Ares' escape wasn't part of the show. They couldn't tell themselves it was only because of my extreme brilliance and ingenuity; not when the escapee was another human. That made it more... real."

Roxanne nodded and cleared her throat. "So… Hesperos. Is that you?"

"Yes. It was Ares' name for me. Hesperos Oldwin."

"Oldwin. That doesn't really fit the pattern. All the other names he chose sound Classical."

"You're right. It doesn't. Ares was obsessed with Greek myths, among other things—especially with both his namesake and with the story of the titan Cronos eating his own children, who were then reborn as gods—but the ancient Greeks didn't have a word for 'blue.'"

"Seriously?"

He made a brave attempt at a chuckle. "Clearly they didn't appreciate the finer things, at least where colors were concerned," His weak smile couldn't seem to hold onto his lips, and quickly fell away. He sighed. "Anyway, Ares gave me the name Hesperos Oldwin because it means Morning Star Blue Sky. The blue part is obvious—"

"Hmmm," she agreed

"And then, of course, my escape pod came from the stars and fell from the sky one morning."

"So he was, what? Your friend? Why is he threatening you?"

"I think I was the closest thing to a friend Ares ever had, but that wasn't very close. More like hero worship." At Roxanne's look, he grimaced slightly. "Remember, I was young and… less brilliant."

"But you liked him?"

"'Like' is too strong a word. Ares was… strange, but he enjoyed my company when I was a boy because I was the only one who could keep up with his intellect, even beat him at chess, although I quickly learned that outsmarting him too much led him to abandon me for days on end. He could be… disinterested, but more often he talked to me, sometimes for hours, when he wasn't locked in solitary confinement. I thought he was cool— smooth, sophisticated, well-spoken, smart, tough— and maybe I liked finding someone fairly close to my own age who didn't revile me for a change." He studied his black boots. "Maybe it made me feel special that I was the only other person he bothered naming."

Roxanne gently lifted his chin. "You were lonely. I can't really blame you."

"I can." Megamind sighed. "As I grew older I began to realize that some things about him were just… off. It wasn't until years afterward that I learned 'morning star' is also the meaning of the name Lucifer, as in the devil in most Abrahamic religions. By that time Ares was already gone, but I have the feeling the parallel wasn't an accident. The worst part is, I don't think he meant it as an insult."

"Okay, but how much of that is just a persona? You once said that the difference between a villain and a supervillain is presentation."

"Minion said that," he reminded her.

"It's still true."

"This is different."

"I don't mean he's necessarily a supervillain. You grew up in prison. You're better at analyzing criminal minds than any psychiatrist I've ever heard of. I've seen you figure people out so fast it's almost like mind-reading. I'm guessing Ares isn't his real name, so clearly he's putting on a show. How much is him and how much is just an act?"

"Oh, you don't understand!" Megamind threw up his hands and began pacing. "Ares does not play at evil insanity. He's the real deal! No one in that prison ever crossed him. Convicts, guards, even the warden feared him. Most people, even criminals, have limits… lines they won't cross, but Ares… He had no lines. He would be a perfectly nice and polite man until someone did something he didn't like—anything, a tone of voice, the wrong look—and then, in a flash, he could turn horrible and callous. He would get this cold smile on his face, and you knew sometime soon something truly terrible was going to happen to that person. And it never bothered him. Not even a little."

"You make him sound like a monster."

"He is."

Roxanne stood up and stopped his pacing with a hug. "No, Megamind. He's just a man."

With a sigh, Megamind gently pushed her away. "Roxanne," he looked her in the eye. "I was twelve when Ares was arrested. He was only a few years older than me, not quite a legal adult, but they sent him to a high-security facility for the criminally insane. Do you know why? When he found out his father was cheating on his mother, Ares murdered both the man and his mistress. And not in a crime of passion. He searched, learned, planned, and prepared. He found out about the spa resort his father often took his mistress to— an exclusive and very discreet place outside of town—"

Roxanne was starting to feel a little sick. "Oh my God… The Nelson Case. You knew that guy?"

"Yes. Ares' real name is Eric Nelson."

"I read about that trial for a paper when I was in college. Did he really kill them in the steam room?"

Megamind nodded. "He told me all about it. Bragged. The fake ID, the forged credentials, the Social Security System hack… And then he got a maintenance job at the spa resort. Even though he was rarely around guests, he was always in disguise, even changing his mannerisms and the way he walked… He learned how the steam system worked, created a bypass for the safety measures…." Megamind shuddered. "Roxanne, he literally steam broiled those people alive. And he watched. He stood there and he watched. His own father…" With a shake of his head, Megamind added: "He wasn't even sorry. Ares called himself a 'soldier of righteousness,' and insisted it was the legal system that was corrupt."

"How could he think that?"

"He's crazy. But he's also calculating, cold, and cruel. That makes him dangerous. When his twisted sense of honor and justice is incensed, he is capable of truly horrific things." Megamind sighed again. "After Ares escaped prison, he joined a paramilitary organization, but apparently his philosophies were too... extreme even for them. The last I heard, he was working as an assassin, but he only takes certain jobs that he feels are in line with his off-center views of right and wrong. He's so good at making his murders look like accidents that no one— not even in the criminal underworld— really knows what his kill count is. Even so, the sorts of 'accidents' he causes… Let's just say people don't hire Ares if they want the funeral to be open casket."

"Maybe he's not serious." Even to her, it sounded more like a plea than a suggestion. "What if he's just playing mind games with you?" Roxanne trailed off as she studied her lover's face.

"No. Ares isn't like other villains we've faced… like I was. This isn't something he does for fame, money, petty revenge, or for the simple reason that he's bored out of his skull and needs intellectual stimulation. He doesn't play games, or if he does, he plays for keeps."

It felt as if ice had replaced her spine. "And you really think he'll do it? That he'll find me?"

Green eyes met hers, and something in their depths made the ice expand to fill her stomach.

"Megamind?"

He glanced away again, like he couldn't bear to see her reaction. "Sweetheart, there were..." his throat bobbed.

"There were photographs enclosed with the letter," he answered quietly, as if lowering the tone of his words would somehow lessen their impact. "They were… One was of you standing just inside the glass doors of your balcony—"

"Oh my God." she breathed, moving to collapse into the desk chair.

"One was of you leaving the news station. The last was of you jogging in Hill Top Park." He finally met her gaze again. "Sweetheart… I'm sorry… He has already found you." He knelt beside her, turned the desk chair to face him, and took her hands in his, looking earnestly up at her. "I have to try to stop him. You know I do. I'm the good guy now. But I can't do that and watch your back at the same time. Not if we're apart. That's why I really, really need you to stay here."

Something in her vaguely understood that she should care about that, but it suddenly seemed as if her brain, overwhelmed with terror, had opted to turn itself off. Her heart, in contrast, was screaming and she felt like she might be physically ill. This, Roxanne decided distantly, must be what a panic attack felt like.

"What about… my job?"

"Telecommute."

Her laugh sounded bitter and wild in her own ears. "I'm an on-scene correspondent. I can't telecommute."

"Then take some time off," he offered gently. "We'll talk to the station, or have the officials contact them. This is little different from a witness protection program. And it's only temporary. They'll have to understand."

"And if they don't?"

"I'll make them."

Roxanne buried her face in her palms. She heard the tread of leather boots, the sighing swish of a cape, and deft hands began massaging her shoulders. Megamind's voice spoke gently behind her.

"Roxanne. Listen to me. It will be alright. Everything will be alright. We are going to get through this. He hasn't found this place, and I've made some alterations to ensure it stays that way."

"How do you know he hasn't found your hideout?" she asked between her fingers. "You can't possibly know that."

"He hasn't. Trust me. His letter was sent to my fan mail post box. Ares likes keeping people off balance, making them feel he has the upper hand. If he had known where my Lair was, he would have found a way to deliver it directly here. He didn't, which means we're safe. I've been working on some enhancements for a while, but Minion and I have put in a lot of hours to finish them quickly. This entire building is now outfitted with a cloaking shield: a hard light hologram similar to what the holowatch produces. I took it down briefly when I saw you approach, and put it back up once you came in. Now all anyone will see is an empty, condemned building. No dome, no signs of life, nothing."

Turning the chair to face him, she suddenly threw her arms around Megamind and held him close. He knelt to let her hide her face against his neck. Like a child awakened from a bad dream, Roxanne buried herself in his warmth and breathed in the comfort of his scent.

"I really am sorry," her words were muffled by his skin. "I'm so very sorry."

He ran gentle hands up and down her arms. "I am too."

"You shouldn't be."

"If you weren't with me, this never would have happened."

"No. People assumed I dated Metro Man, and they would have assumed the same about us."

"I should have realized sooner. I should have done better."

"You're doing your best."

"We both are."

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you."

"You didn't know."

The moment of weakness passed, and Roxanne gathered herself, gluing pieces of broken confidence back together with spunky determination and brave humor.

"Yeah, well, you know, you could have told me this sooner and saved us the trouble of arguing," she jibed halfheartedly, her crooked smile appearing through tears.

His answering grin was weak, and a little sad. "I didn't want to have to tell you. Not now, not tonight. And I didn't want to ruin your holidays." His shoulders drooped slightly. "Tonight was supposed to be about cheering you up. I wanted to make you happy, not terrify the living daylights out of you."

"But I thought you liked terrifying me. Why else did you kidnap me all the time?"

"How else could I spend time with you? Besides, you were never truly scared of me. Annoyed, yes. Sometimes even angry, but never scared." He wrapped her in an embrace. "And I happen to think you're extremely sexy when you're angry."

That drew a tearful laugh from Roxanne. "Right, because, you know, that's one I've never heard before." Sighing, she looked back at her new bedroom. "Thank you for everything you've done, Megamind. If it's okay, I'll enlist the brainbots' help in moving my things tomorrow."

"I'll be glad to have them give you a hand, but we should do it late at night. That's when Ares… works. He'll be less likely to be watching your apartment."

They were silent for a moment.

"Well," Roxanne's voice held a tone of determined calm. "At least we have a plan."

He smiled. "We have a plan."

There was another pause.

"So..." casting around for something to say, Roxanne landed on: "how long has Ares been in Metro City, and what do we know so far?"

"Not much. I got the letter last Thursday, but Ares has been laying low. I've had brainbots guarding you twenty-four-seven."

"I thought I saw more of them around than usual. Wait," she looked around her room with new admiration. "You managed to get all of this pulled together in six days? That's... Darling, that's beyond impressive! That's amazing!"

"Five days, six hours, and fifty-three minutes, to be precise," Megamind answered, standing up and managing another gray smile. "Incredibly Handsome Genius, remember? You'd be surprised what can be done with a little determination, a large budget, and thousands of tireless laborers."

"Large budget?"

"I have contracts with various companies for a cut of the profits from all Megamind merchandise sold, among other things."

"Seriously? That's not standard hero procedure, is it?"

"Being a good guy doesn't exactly pay well."

"Wayne never did that."

"Ha. Metro Man was adopted by a multi-billionaire. He has a trust fund big enough to support an entire third-world country, not to mention that all of his abilities are inborn. I, on the other hand, have supplies to buy, bills to pay, evil inventions to construct..."

"I thought they weren't evil any more?"

"Well, evil only to evildoers." His burgeoning grin faltered. "Roxanne, be honest, are you angry at me? For not telling you sooner? I know you always hated it when Metro Man treated you like a powerless victim, and I want you to know that isn't why I didn't tell you. I just wanted the brainbots to do a little reconnocense first. And, as I said, I wanted you to enjoy the holiday season before I threw this at you."

Drawing close to him, she cupped his cheek and looked sincerely into his face. "No. I'm not angry. Not now that I understand." She hugged him once more. "But from now on I need you to trust me enough to just tell me things. I can't be prepared if I don't know."

"It's a deal."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She pulled away enough to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry I doubted you."

He kissed her cheek. "I suppose it's possible I could have handled it a little better."

She finally managed a real grin. "Maybe a little." She held her hands a foot apart. "Like this much."

"Oh, come on, not that much." He moved her arms closer until her palms were only a couple of inches apart. "Maybe that much."

"This much," she spread her hands even wider.

His mouth quirked. "Now you're just being unreasonable."

Despite everything, they both laughed, releasing the tension in the air.

"I'm glad I'm here," Roxanne said.

"Me too." He held her, kissed her brow. "You'll be happy here, Sweetheart. I'll do everything I can… I want this to be comfortable, and good… You like having your own space, and that's fine, but I want you to know that this is your home, too. Always."

She felt herself smile, although the expression lacked its usual confident strength. He wasn't wrong. Sometimes Roxanne felt she practically lived in his hideout already. Well, the past few weeks had been an exception. While the blue hero had dealt with a plot by the Doom Syndicate and the usual holiday season uptick in thefts, Roxanne had been forced to travel, first covering a rare blizzard in the Upper Penninsula, then a meeting of the newly formed Michigan State Disability Caucus in Lansing, and finally attempts by members of the state legislature to conceal certain business interest's tax frauds. She and her lover had only been able to steal occasional dates during her brief returns home, and he had spent one night in a Lansing hotel with her. Even when life wasn't so busy, however, the reporter and her lover rarely spent the night at her apartment anymore. Not since Ms. Farley, a sweet but nosy elderly woman who lived next door, had caught Roxanne out in the hall one evening and invited her over for what had turned out the be the most awkwardly embarrassing cup of tea in all history.

"Listen, Dear," the old lady had said amicably after a few minutes of small talk. "Between you, me, and the lamppost, I just want to tell you that I am really very happy you and our hero have such a healthy and loving relationship, but— I really hate to bring it up— but maybe three in the morning is a little late for… nocturnal activities? And… well… you might just ask him to be a little more circumspect about his language? It's only that Len Paszek mentioned that his little boy asked last week what all those funny words the Defender kept shouting meant…"

Megamind had blushed fuchsia when she'd told him, and admitted that one of his new friends on the police force had laughingly informed him they had received no fewer than three noise complaints from other tenants in Roxanne's building.

"He seemed to think I needed to be congratulated?" the blue man had said uncertainly. "He kept slapping my back and saying I must be doing something right?"

Roxanne had felt her own cheeks burning. "I… um… yeah, that's a… pretty normal human male bonding ritual…"

"Humans are strange," Megamind had informed her.

They'd spent almost every night at the Lair ever since.

"Sir, Code C and C," Minion's voice crackled from the vicinity of his master's left hand, disrupting Roxanne's thoughts.

"Code what?" Megamind asked into his wrist.

"Cookies and cocoa!" Minion explained. "Come and get it while it's—No no no! That is not a toy! Drop it! Drop it right now!"

A sound suspiciously like breaking china echoed through the watch's speaker.

Megamind and Roxanne looked at each other and laughed again. It felt good. "I suppose we had better go downstairs while the cookies are still edible," the blue hero said. "You don't mind, do you, Roxanne? It's just that— well, you know— Minion has planned out this entire evening, and it really means a lot to him…" he trailed off as Roxanne gave him his favorite knowing smile.

"Thank you and Minion both for planning tonight. Of course I want to be a part of it." She sighed, looking down one more time at the disturbing letter. "Let's just take a step back. We can deal with this tomorrow. Besides," she brightened slightly. "I wouldn't miss Minion's home baking for anything."

Megamind chuckled again. "Be sure to tell him that." With a dramatic flourish, he swept his cloak behind one shoulder and offered her his arm. "Now, Miss Ritchi," he purred in that tone that always melted her down to her toes. "If you'll come with me, please, I fully intend to spend the next several hours cuddling by the stove, if only I could find a beautiful, intelligent woman to cuddle with."

A small, very grown-up and professional part of Roxanne hated that Megamind always knew how to make her blush. The rest of her, however, adored it.

"I think I can oblige," she answered, linking her arm through his.

He returned her smile and led her downstairs.

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fortysevenswrites · 3 years

Note

In depth fandom questions: FDTD!

Top 5 favourite characters:

Kate, Seth, Kisa, Richie, Amaru-In-Kate’s-Body

Other characters you like:

Zolo, Scott, Jacob, Margaret, Ximena, the baby doll stand in for Billie, Uncle Eddie

Least favourite characters:

Malvado, Carlos, Tanner, Sonja

Otps:

SethKate, RichieKisa

Notps:

RichieKate, SethKateRichie

Favourite friendships:

Kate and Richie, Kate and Scott, Seth and Richie, Freddie and Dakota

Favourite family:

The Fuller siblings and Los Hermanos Gecko

Favourite episodes:

Episode 1x02 because that’s when we first meet Kate, 2x10 because Kate and Seth are in the SAME DAMN BUILDING and they don’t run across each other, 3x04, 3x07, and 3x10, because DUH.

Favourite season/book/movie:

Season 3. Amaru is just so fun.

Favourite quotes:

“In the eyes of the people I love.” BECAUSE COME FUCKING ON

Best musical moment:

Probably season 1, when the Twister wakes up and the culebras go ham on everyone in the bar while the band plays. It’s just SO absurd. And also that same thing in 2x10.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest:

Any time Seth was shirtless. Any time Seth looked at Kate like he’d been punched in the face by a 2x4

When it really disappointed you:

Not gonna lie, when Richie and Kisa broke up, and also when Kisa disappeared in early season 3 and didn’t show back up until the end.

Saddest moment:

When Kate found out about how her mom died while in the Twister, the flash-forward Freddie had with Billie in season 1, and when Kate had to stab Jacob before he turned.

Most well done character death:

It’s a tie between Kate having to stake Jacob, and when Tanner got thrown into Xibalba.

Favourite guest star:

Adrianne Palicki as Vanessa, Natalie Martinez as Amaru, Demi Lovato as Maia, and of course Danny Trejo as the Regulator (even if the scene where he eats the ear is GROSS)

Favourite cast member:

Definitely DJ because of his absurd IG stories.

Character you wish was still alive:

Zolo.

One thing you hope really happens:

Give! Us! A! Season! Four! With! Los! Tres! Geckos! Doing! Crime!

Most shocking twist:

The end of 3x01 when Amaru-in-Kate’s-Body shows up after Seth and Richie stop the skullfucker.

When did you start watching/reading?:

At some point last year because of all the SethKate gifs I kept seeing rebagled onto my dash.

Best animal/creature:

Does Zolo count?

Favourite location:

Matanzas and Jed’s

Trope you wish they would stop using:

Definitely the one where Carlos had Kisa on a leash that one time. No thanks.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others:

Doesn’t apply.

Funniest moments:

Every time anyone makes fun of Scott’s music, Seth covering his balls in Straitjacket, the baby doll Billie stand-in in 3x10, and every single moment when Seth is 500000000% done in Shady Glen

Couple you would like to see:

Seth and Kate, duh. But also Richie and Kisa reconciling in some way now that Kisa has had time to grow into herself and her independence.

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast:

Does Vanessa coming back count? It does now.

Favourite outfit:

Everything Kisa wore in S3, and NGL, I am a fan of the leather getup that Amaru wore. Also, any time Seth is wearing the henley and the gloves and the vest and the jeans. So basically half of what Seth wore in S3. And also any time Seth was wearing a susit.

Favourite item:

Seth’s gun, Amaru’s amulet.

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?:

Does an enduring passion for SethKate count?

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?:

I would definitely be Team Gecko.

Most boring plotline:

Honestly, finding the Santa Sangre in season 2 was kinda boring.

Most laughably bad moment:

Baby doll stand in Billie. It just took me right out of the scene.

Best flashback/flashfoward if any:

I loved the flashforward Freddie had with Billie in the Twister.

Most layered character:

Kate and Seth. Full stop.

Most one dimensional character:

Malvado and Carlos, because their ONLY motivation is Kisa. So like, I got bored after a while.

Scariest moment:

There were a lot of creepy moments in S1, especially when they went into the labrynth.

Grossest moment:

The Regulator eating all those bodyparts when he was hunting Seth and Richie and Kisa.

Best looking male:

Seth. Duh.

Best looking female:

Kisa.

Who you’re crushing on (if any):

Seth. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Favourite cast moment:

Any BTS content of DJ and Maddie.

Favourite transportation:

The car Seth and Richie drove for most of Season 1, and the Cammaro Seth and Kate drove off in at the end of S1

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise):

3x10, the blood transfusion. Kate waking up and seeing Seth. In the eyes of the people I love. Kate walking out of hell. The coda with Los Tres Geckos

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you:

WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN WITH AMARU’S NECKLACE AFTER SEASON 3????????

Best promo:

I’ve seen this Instagram post that Maddie posted a while back, BTS of her in full-on Amaru gear with the spooky red contacts, jokingly making a Coke Zero ad. Like, if I drank soda, I’d 100000% go for Coke Zero after that.

Does that count? It does now.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book:

Definitely after all the gifsets that were rebageled onto my dash. Then I started reading some fic, and decided it would be a good idea to actually watch the show too.

In depth fandom questions

#asked and answered #fandom questions

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pinkdogplushie · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on early Season 6 Charles/Margaret 'flirting' and Comrades in Arms.

Everyone who's watched Season 6 knows that the writers tried to push Charles/Margaret on the first few episodes, at least until the middle of the season, before they finally gave up and saw the truth: the characters simply didn't have romantic chemistry.

From a Watsonian point of view, however, that does not mean that those scenes were meaningless for both their character developments. In fact, we can actually draw very particular conclusions of their interactions:

Margaret is looking to alleviate her loneliness, yes. Charles, however, is looking for a friend.

Whenever they engage in a 'romantic' moment, it's always Margaret who assumes Charles is coming on to her, while Charles is always confused. And not 'confused' as in 'in denial', but genuinely befuddled as to why she or anyone would think that. After all, from his perspective, he was only being cordial, friendly even. Of course he would get nervous if anyone assumed he was looking for a tryst because it's not in his nature to pursue that kind of relationships; but other than that, he has no interest in Margaret other than as friend. He sees her as the only one who's at his level, reason why he decides to become acquainted with her: treating her to dinner in The Grim Reaper, for example.

If we analyze the dinner scene, it's not even that romantic in the first place: it's mostly Charles regaling a potential friend with favors, and Margaret enjoying good food, with occasional schooling on proper dinner etiquette peppered in. None of them act as it is an intimate affair; we are only supposed to believe that because we have been taught to associate fancy dinners with romance, and that was the imagery the writers were using. But if we truly analyze the characters' behavior, it's really more friendly than flirtatious.

And like that, most other 'intimate' encounters are really just awkward attempts from Margaret to flirt with Charles and him just being friendly. The 'thing in my eye' recount from Charles in The Winchester Tapes, the 'you touched your nose' debate and Margaret's stubborn belief that he's got the hots for her in War of Nerves...

Now, about Comrades in Arms:

While many people find it cringey because of how awkward Hawkeye and Margaret are, I think it's wonderful. Why? May I count the ways:

Alan Alda and Loretta Swit collaborated on the script because they wanted to dissuade people from shipping Houlihawk. They didn't think they had romantic chemistry, but they did have sexual tension. Rather than build it up, make it a matter of 'will-they-or-won't-they', they played with it; and then, they resolved it. And instead of the experience making the characters grow apart, it only helped to evolve their relationship, which will continue to develop throughout the next seasons. Alan and Loretta showed that two people (especially a man and a woman) could still have chemistry without being romantically interested in each other.

Despite being an episode meant to dissuade shipping, there's no bashing, no making a character better or worse than the other. And the situation they put the characters in? It's the only way they figured they would actually get intimate.

The kiss, my darlings. The fucking kiss. Even though I don't ship Houlihawk (at least not romantically), the kiss still feels me with itty-bitty butterflies in my tummy and sunshine in my heart. Because of its nature: it's not a romantic kiss; it's a survival kiss. It's a kiss that says 'I love you' not in the tender way of lovers, but in the ragged, desperate voice of two people drowning in despair. It's a kiss that says 'I'm scared, hold me, don't let go'. It's a kiss that starts a rendezvouz they both will regret in the morning. Sure, Margaret might not want to admit it at first, that Hawkeye and her are just too different to think of living an entire life and building a family with him. She is heartbroken: she has been betrayed by her husband, and seeks solace in the only person with whom she gets along in another level, different from the others at the 4077th. Of course, Margaret was still a bit drunk and scared out of her wits when they had the kiss, but the next morning she was ready to marry him, calling him 'darling', praising him with the same stock phrases she fed Frank, willing to overlook the painfully obvious: Hawkeye was never gonna change for her. As for him...

Comrades in Arms is the episode Hawkeye realizes Margaret might just be one of the best friends he ever had. That's partly why he doesn't want to get involved with her. Of course, the other reasons are that he's not romantically attracted to her, he only got intimate with her because he was also scared out of his wits, he doesn't like her attempts at changing him, he finds her disciplinarian nature grating, what she makes him feel confuses him, and also, he doesn't want to break her heart. He sees her as a woman who is hurting, and he surely feels like a jackass for not being able to return her feelings and heal her.

But in the end, what they realize with each other's help is that a rendezvouz in the middle of shelling, while scared that they're going to die, doesn't heal new or old wounds, nor is it a good foundation for a relationship. The next day, it's not just Margaret who slowly crashes down from her self-imposed Cloud 9; Hawkeye also sees that Margaret will not just be some fling, that she has needs, that this new part of their relationship can be screwed up easily, and that their bond has become so much more rich and complex than it was before. Margaret matures a bit as well, sees that she doesn't need to hold on to the first morsel of affection that is offered to her, that she can develop relationships that help her heal that are far from being romantic. She also sees that her relationship with Hawkeye is different, more complex, more difficult, but no less worth it because of it. They learn that they simply don't work together, but that the experience has nonetheless brought them closer, and they shouldn't miss this new connection that has developed.

All these things make the relationship between Hawkeye and Margaret so unique, and it all comes to light fantastically in Comrades in Arms.

#m*a*s*h #charles emerson winchester iii #margaret houlihan #hawkeye pierce #the grim reaper #the winchester tapes #war of nerves #comrades in arms #also #charles is totally ace and margaret is totally lesbiam #and they're both dealing with comphet and failing miserably

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benisasoftboi · 4 years

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Gushing time.

Rune Factory 4 Special arrived a day early, so my entire day has been consumed in nostalgia. The original Rune Factory 4 was the first video game I ever bought on release day - I remember saving up all my money and making my mum drive me to like three different shops trying to find one that had it. I was already a fan of the franchise - before then, Rune Factory 3 had been my favourite video game, across the board. Aside from a playthrough of the first game last year, I haven’t played a Rune Factory game in a long time, certainly not RF4. But just starting up the game and hearing the music again, it was like it was suddenly seven years ago. Running around Selphia and seeing all the characters again - I love JRPGs, have played a lot of them, and I can think of very few that have characters that have stuck with me this long. And the aesthetics - the best thing about the Rune Factory franchise has always been the aesthetics, the music, the scenic and character design, just the general world. It’s a beautifully whimsical balance of urban and fantasy, and it’s the only JRPG world I think I’ve ever come across that I would genuinely want to live in. Rune Factory may no longer be my favourite game franchise - but I don’t think there has ever been another series that has felt so much like home to me.

Here’s a very long selection of personal highlights from the art book (by which I mean photos of the art followed by my rambling opinions):

Yeah, see, here’s the thing - Rune Factory 1 is not a good game. I could write an entire essay on why it’s bad (I actually started and got pretty damn far before realising no one’s interested in my two thousand word review of a game that came out over a decade ago - the short version is ‘Misty Bloom-fucking-Cave’. Anyone who’s played RF1 knows exactly what I mean). Don’t get me wrong, it has good qualities - excellent boss fights, for one, and also, as with the rest of the franchise, it is aesthetically wonderful. But ultimately, it feels less like playing a video game, and more like playing a proof of concept for a game. Which I guess it kind of was - and I can’t hate it because we wouldn’t have the rest of the series without it.

But it literally ends with a dragon spewing plant breath on a tank to make a turnip grow out of the gun. ‘Profound’, my arse.

It’s Raguna! The “master sowrdsman!” (that is not a typo on my part that is a direct quote from the ending of Rune Factory 1 this game’s script had so many issues-). And Mist! My favourite of the ‘canon’ love interests!

Best girl! When I was a kid, my favourite love interest in RF1 was Rosetta. As an adult, it is Tabatha. I don’t know what it is about her that I find so likeable (she’s as lacking in personality as any other RF1 character), but... idk, I just like her a lot.

Camus’s big ambition is to leave town like even once. He will never achieve it

Fun fact about Melody is that she’s extremely depressed, a fact that comes up once in an optional side quest and is never addressed again. It’s incredibly dark for an RF game

Fun fact about Lukas is that he sucks (he’s one of those ‘obsessed with talking about how hot all the girls are’ characters, an archetype that thankfully doesn’t show up again in these games). But also, interestingly enough, thanks to one of RF1′s many, many script errors, if you marry Rosetta (the girl Lukas is the most obsessed with), he’s supposed to express disappointment that he lost her to Raguna - but instead, he implies that he’s disappointed to have lost Raguna to her. The translators typoed their way into giving him a sexuality change. Which is honestly kind of amazing.

LOOK AT THIS SLIME THIS IS SUCH A COOL SLIME LITERALLY EVERY OTHER JPRG SLIME GO HOME DRAGON QUEST GET FUCKED (jk I like Dragon Quest a lot and its slimes are cool too). Wish you could see in-game that this is what they’re meant to be like.

I just generally love the monster designs, they’re really charming

Rune Factory 2! The RF game with the most weirdly mundane protagonist name (Kyle. In the main four games of this franchise we’ve got Raguna, Micah, Lest, Frey... and Kyle). The two generations thing was actually very cool, but when they say ‘each chapter captures a different lifestyle’, what they really mean is ‘the first half is a weak Harvest Moon I’m sorry, STORY OF SEASONS game, and the second half is a pretty good Rune Factory game’

lookit this little fuck

Yue Yue Yue! I love Yue so much, she’s great. She’s kind of like a much chiller version of Anna from Fire Emblem.

It’s really cool that we got to see grown up Cecilia (she was in RF1). I have this silly headcanon that if Kyle doesn’t marry Mana, Nicholas (her friend in 1) comes to visit Cecilia one day in the hazy-post game future, and meets Mana, and they get together. While Yue is my favourite, I do genuinely like Mana a lot, and I just want her to find love, I guess.

Here’s original Barrett! There’s a reason he was popular enough to make a reappearance (well, aside from the whole grumpy pretty boy thing he’s got going on) - he was a great character in this game. His and Dorothy’s relationship is also definitely the most compelling of the rival romances. Bonus Max, who also has a little shout-out in RF4 (check the diary in what will become Dylas’s bedroom at the start of the game)

Ray is male, but apparently he was originally going to be a female character, as he has an unused portrait in a wedding dress. My friend and I agree that this makes him a Trans Icon

Monster designs remain excellent. Especially the goblins

Skipping over Frontier (and also Oceans later), as I never got to play it growing up due to not having a console, and still haven’t got around to it - might try this summer. Except I do need to point out that these guys should be memes. I don’t know in what way. But they should.

Rune Factory 3! My first RF game. The transformation thing was very cool, even if it was basically useless outside the main story. My friend and I spent hours mucking about in the WiFi dungeon. I loved the desert settlement and all of the dungeon designs in general, and man, RF3 is just great. I hope it gets a remake one day.

Raven Raven Raven! I LOVE Raven (as do most). Her story with Micah is the first time I can remember getting genuinely invested in a video game romance. I’m so glad she cameos in RF4. I love her. She’s wonderful.

I have an odd fondness for Marian. When I was about twelve, I decided to do a playthrough where I deliberately romanced the least popular bachelorette. After poking around on forums, I determined that character to be Marian, and did a run with her. And... I actually came to really like her. I find her endearing. I get that people find her annoying and don’t like her... unethical medical practices, but doing that run has still made me a pretty protective of her. It’s been a long time since I played RF3, so maybe I’d change my mind if I replayed now, but currently, as far as I’m concerned, Marian’s a good’un.

I think I also used to low key ship her with Collette lol

Pia’s official art has always been super weird to me because it’s so not what her character is like in-game. She’s a ditzy airhead. This makes her look so serious

RAINBOW! Another character whose art makes them look way more serious than they actually are. Daria is great and would be a meme if this game was more popular. I think she’s also implied to be a relative of Margaret.

I’ve always been super confused about what Kuruna’s skirt is meant to be. Is it fur? Is it part of her shirt? Is it even a skirt at all?

Check it out, it’s the guy everyone would ship Micah with if this game was more popular

I want Zaid to make a reappearance and interact with Doug. Pretty sure it’s canon that they’re from the same clan? Think it would be very interesting.

RF3 definitely had the coolest farm. Also, still love the desert settlement.

This is from Oceans, so I have no context, but it’s just so cool that I had to share

Rune Factory 4. Culmination of the series is right - when I was playing it for the first time, I remember being blown away by just how much it is a true love letter to the franchise. I have never come across another game series that so consistently grew and improved from entry to entry. RF4 was a perfect ending.

Not that I’m complaining about getting RF5. Quite the opposite.

But if it had been the end (as we all thought it was until about a year ago), well, like I say. Perfect.

Well. Aside from soda can nipples. Can’t believe they didn’t fix those. Though in some ways, that would have made me sad too

Dolce has such a cool design, in both human and monster form. I’ve always kind of crack-shipped her with Margaret, for no real reason at all

Vishnal! I love Vishnal. Vishnal is pure as heck. Marrying him this time around.

Doug! My choice from last time around. Another character who looks more serious in his official art than he is in-game (well... most of the time)

And then there’s Dylas, who looks much happier here than he does most of the time. Kind of looks like he and Doug swapped bodies, actually. There’s a fanfic prompt for you.

Their ship name is Dyldo. I love them

Leon is nostalgic for me mostly because my friend and I used to get into a lot of arguments about whether or not he’s the hottest character in the game. She maintains that he is, because muscles. I maintain that muscles aren’t actually that attractive. It is a rift that divides us to this day

(He looks oddly... younger in this art though? Weird)

Sechs Empire is such an unfortunate name. Seriously. How rushed was RF1′s localisation team? All those script errors, and then this (the Sechs were the antagonists in the first game, and were only referenced in passing in the rest until RF4 - so it was a bit of a ‘sins of the father’ situation by then).

Seriously, try saying ‘Sechs Emperor’ out loud and tell me you can take this man seriously

I??? Love??? Them???

I??? LOVE??? THEM???

Still confused as to why Kiel, Xiao Pai, Arthur and Margaret are on the cover now. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, but... Amber, Dylas, Dolce and Leon made way more sense? Even the Archival Cover makes more sense (Vishnal, Clorica, Forte), as those three are all kind of Lest/Frey’s servants (well, Forte for the whole town, but still). Of those first four, all but Arthur basically lift right out of the game with little-to-no impact on the story

NO HAT TABATHA NO HAT TABATHA

I’ve always really loved this Raven picture

And I am thankful for you <3

#rune factory #rune factory 4 #rune factory 4 special #rf4 #rf4s #rf4srelease #i love these games <3

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thebreakfastgenie · 2 years

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different anon and i'm just curious - why don't you like beejhawk? i mean not the ship in the show but just like in general?

Anon hope I understand your meaning. If I'm answering the wrong question, please feel free to send a follow-up! Also sorry for the delay, tumblr ate this and I had to retype it.

The main reason I don't like beejhawk is that I literally just don't see it. And while canon is far from the arbiter of everything, the fact is that it's not only non-canon, there's not even any teasing in canon like there is with Margaret. They are presented as very close friends whose friendship is especially intense because of the circumstances. That resonates with me. The way they behave is exactly how I behave with my closest friends. I really like that dynamic. The only reason I wasn't surprised to see people shipping them is that I've been around fandom spaces since I was 13 and I know the game. If I weren't online, I wouldn't expect people to ship them.

Shipping them is just way too much work. When I do ship non-canon pairings, they're usually ones that slot into canon fairly easily, like spirk. Watching with shipping goggles is exhausting! I don't want to be constantly reinterpreting canon to fit my ship, especially when that involves taking something to mean the opposite of what it says. I prefer to take the show at face value, which says BJ loves Peg and wants to be with her. Even if I were inclined to look for hidden meanings, MASH really isn't the kind of show that does that. MASH is not subtle. Even when it does have a double meaning, which is mostly reserved for the early seasons commenting on Vietnam, it's never in conflict with the surface-level meaning; it's still telling a complete story about Korea. So it just feels discordant to me to be doing that. Other people have told me they see the ship effortlessly and I'm not arguing with that, but I don't.

My general disinterest did sort of blossom into dislike because of fandom. It's just so dominant, it's not just the most popular ship, the entire fandom revolves around it, and the assumption is if you post about MASH on tumblr you ship it. And along with the ship comes a bunch of popular headcanons and characterization that I don't like or see. I don't see BJ as a liar, as evil, as insane, as unhinged, as gay, as repressed, etc. I don't see Hawkeye as a lovesick martyr pining after a married man. There is beejhawk that doesn't use that, but very little, and it's not worth finding for me. I do think punnihawk tends to avoid most of the characterization I dislike, which is why I can and do on occasion enjoy that. And when I did read beejhawk, it always felt out of character as soon as they kissed or confessed their love, even if I was enjoying it up to that point. The image of them growing old together is absurd to me. I'm not usually so frank about that, because I have friends who ship it, but I really can't imagine it. The insistence that there is no explanation besides romantic love is really off-putting, especially when I'm seeing that statement applied to things I literally do with my best friends.

Using that shipping lens does kind of ruin parts of the show for me, too. For example, the end of Where There's a Will There's a War, when Hawkeye is looking at the picture of Peg and Erin. To me it's about mortality and Hawkeye finally realizing what he can leave BJ when he's reminded of what's most important to BJ, what means the most to him. If it's some sort of tragic romantic moment I don't like it.

I have a thing for those comrades in arms type relationships that form under intense circumstances. I think it's fair to say they're something more or something different than the friendships most of us experience in our secure civilian lives, but I also think interpreting that extra closeness as necessarily inherently romantic is reductive. It takes something away. I don't like the Sam/Frodo ship for the same reason, but I do ship Legolas and Gimli, just for reference. Extremely close battlefield relationships happen in real life, and I'm sure some of those soldiers were and are in love, but I'm equally sure many of them were not and are not. And those bonds don't translate to civilian life exactly as they were, so in the case of BJ and Hawkeye I just don't see a path from the intensity they have going on in Korea to a relationship in the United States.

I'm not wild about wartime BJ/Hawkeye because I do see them as platonic and I do see BJ as straight, but I'm a bit more relaxed about that as long as it ends there. I think it undermines the ending of the show to put BJ and Hawkeye back together after the war. They can be in touch, they can see each other, but their lives have to be separate. And they do both have lives and familial obligations on opposite sides of the country. I have reservations about any MASH characters ending up permanently together, though I'm willing to suspend that in some cases for fanfiction. And I get that a lot of people like to put BJ and Hawkeye back together for self-indulgent fic purposes but that's not what I like to indulge in. The fun for me is staying true to the themes of the show as I understand them. And I'm not wild about them spending the rest of their lives as each others' lost Lenores either. They have lives outside each other.

From what I've seen, quite a few shippers view MASH as a love story. I don't. It's a war story. It's a tragedy, because it's a war story. Hawkeye and BJ's friendship is the central relationship from season 4 on, but it's not the only or even the main thing going on in the show. My interest is just elsewhere!

#mashposting #i probably forgot some stuff lol

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ninthfeather · 4 years

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Ninth, I am trying to watch M*A*S*H, but Hawkeye and Trapper are just... teeth-grinding... Can you recommend me some of your favorite episodes?

Ok! So, if Hawkeye and Trapper are teeth-grinding for you, first of all, that’s understandable–a lot of their jokes about women are not really that funny, and they often go way too far while making fun of the rest of the cast, especially Frank, but also Henry and Radar in earlier episodes. While Hawkeye remains a main character until the finale, Trapper’s actor left the show after three seasons and was replaced as Hawkeye’s partner-in-crime by BJ Hunnicutt, a practical joker who’s also a happily-married man with a young daughter. You might enjoy that dynamic a bit more. So, I’m gonna try to focus a bit more on some later episodes, and on ones that focus on side characters:

S1 ep 12 “Dear Dad”: The first of M*A*S*H’s many “Character writes a letter home as a framing device for several unrelated incidents at the 4077th” episodes. I like this one less because it’s Hawkeye narrating and more because of the stories, most notably Klinger mailing a Jeep home piece by piece and Hawkeye performing surgery in a Santa outfit.

S1 ep 15 “Tuttle”: This is the one “Hawkeye and Trapper shenanigans” ep I’m gonna recommend. The two of them make up a doctor as part of scheme to get supplies to the local orphanage, and the lie balloons until this fictional man wins a commendation, at which point they kill him off and the camp has a funeral for him. The spiral of continuously escalating nonsense is wonderful.

S1 ep 19: “The Long-John Flap”: Hawkeye gets a pair of long-johns from home, and in the middle of winter in Korea, they’re the envy of the camp. Under duress, lends them to Trapper when he’s sick…and soon, the things have been traded around the entire main cast. One of the first really good ensemble episodes, and excellent in terms of characterization. Basically, it works on the same principle as the “Who broke the coffee machine?” bit from Brooklyn 99, using a petty squabble to bring out interesting facets of all the characters.

S1 ep 20: “The Army-Navy Game”: During a much-anticipated football match between the army and the navy, the 4077th comes under attack. First, they call for support from their own forces–and then for a different kind of help, when an unexploded US bomb lands in the middle of camp. This one is a “Let’s mock the US military” episode, and it balances humor, drama, and suspense really really well.

S2 ep 12: “The Incubator”: Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar get into it with some supply officers after finding out that while an incubator for cell cultures is not on the Basic Equipment List for a M*A*S*H and they can’t have it, they’re welcome to request a pizza oven. A good example of the “let’s mock military bureaucracy” subgenre of M*A*S*H episodes.

S4 ep 25 “The Interview”: The M*A*S*H personnel are interviewed for what is basically a propaganda reel. The episode was originally aired in black and white, so try to find it in that format, if you can! This episode was part script and part improv, and it really feels authentic to how these characters would react to being interviewed.

S5 eps 1-2 “Bug Out”: The camp evacuates their current position in favor of a safer location, but one patient can’t be moved. Pierce, Margaret, and Radar stay behind, while the rest of the camp attempts to retreat in an orderly fashion. An hour-long episode that really hits that comedy vs. humor balance.

S5 ep 9 “Mulcahey’s War”: Please skip this if detailed medical stuff or discussion of self-harm are triggers or squicks for you, but it’s a good episode. Father Mulcahey’s difficulty in connecting with a patient leads him to ask Col. Potter for a chance to go to the front. This is more drama than comedy, but it’s *really good.* Mulcahey is a lovely character and this episode was really good for fleshing him out.

S5 ep 23 “Souvenirs”: During the Korean War, many locals, especially children, made money by retrieving battlefield souvenirs and selling them to US soldiers. Of course, the fact that these battlefields were often full of unexploded mines and bombs made supporting these children ethically questionable at best. As you may have guessed, this episode also leans into drama rather than comedy, but once again it’s good. Also, there’s definitely *some* humor, it’s just in the form of jerks getting their due.

S6 ep 5 “War of Nerves”: This episode focuses on another side character, psychologist Sidney Freeman, and tackles some pretty tough ethical questions in the process. Specifically, how do medical professionals justify healing people and then sending them back into a war, knowing they are very likely to get reinjured? I wouldn’t call this episode uplifting, but it’s cathartic.

S6 ep 20 “What’s Up, Doc?”: Margaret, worried that she may be pregnant, approaches Pierce about a pregnancy test. What follows involves some medical history and is perhaps best not brought up here, but suffice it to say that this episode is an excellent Radar and Margaret focus piece, with a bonus bit of good Klinger content. Not bloody enough to require a medical squick warning, but I will spoil you: no animals die during the episode. I promise.

S7, ep 11 “Point of View”: Please skip this if the medical bits of M*A*S*H squick you out, but otherwise, this episode was amazing. It was an experiment with perspective, filmed from the point of view of a soldier with a throat injury being treated at the 4077th. The unusual POV creates a sense of immersion and also allows the writers to use the limited POV in order to create suspense–whereas in a normal episode, you follow the characters around, this time you’re hearing snatches of gossip during the POV character’s brief interactions with the principals. It’s neat as all heck.

S8 ep 19 “Morale Victory”: BJ and Pierce complain about the same movie running in camp all the time; Col. Potter gets fed up and appoints the two of them as morale officers, challenging them to do better. Meanwhile, Charles deals with the case of an injured soldier who feels his nerve damage has ruined his career as a concert pianist. This episode is some of the best Charles Emerson Winchester III content the series has to offer, and also some surprisingly good (if not perfect) disability theory for when it was made.

S11 ep 1 “Hey, Look Me Over”: Nurse Kellye wants Hawkeye to take her seriously as a woman. This should not take nearly as much effort as it does. You can tell Alan Alda did the writing because it’s a little heavy-handed at times but Nurse Kellye is amazing and we should all respect her.

An additional note: People are and will probably always be divided on Klinger--some people love him, some even consider him an example of early and imperfect LGBTQ+ representation, some people just don’t find him as funny, and other people consider him a harmful portrayal of crossdressing/trans people. If you find yourself wanting to avoid Klinger wearing a dress because you aren’t as comfortable with the way the writers handled him, you should watch later episodes, since he crossdressed less as the series went on and the writers ran out of quality jokes to tell involving his wardrobe.

#tournamentsofroses #M*A*S*H #recommendations

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amphtaminedreams · 4 years

Text

S/S 2020 Fashion Month: A Basic, Uneducated Fashion Heaux’s A-Z of Everything Noteworthy (Part 2/3)

Hi to anyone reading,

Back at it again with the giving my unsolicited opinion on 2020′s spring/summer offering, I’m gonna hop straight into part 2 of my fashion month review!

Sorry to start with an underwhelming few but my compulsive tendencies are making it really hard to break out of this alphabetical structure (cry laughs whilst thinking about how long it took me to face up at my retail job last night because it would give me vaguely homicidal urges and make my fingers tingle every time a customer moved something slightly out of line), so I’m gonna whizz through a handful of collections. First up, Halpern:

Not much to say but I’m envious of the heavy liner (my hooded eyes could never) and I like the colour scheme. As for the 80s style metallic pink dress?

Helmut Lang:

And Hermes:

Of these 3 collections, Hermes is definitely the most interesting. I like the colour scheme and the utilitarian shapes and the tan coloured jackets are an absolute shoot. This is how you make safari look fresh, D&G take note.

Isabel Marant was okay. It’s cute, sure, reminds me of something Mary-Kate and Ashley would’ve come out with/worn in the 2000s, and there’s definitely some things I would wear, but I wouldn’t say it looks all that luxury. Pricey, sure, but like, Free People pricey, not designer pricey. As a collection, it’s not all that conceptual, unless the concept is L.A girl does a Starbucks run after her bikram yoga class. What I will say though is that some of the S/S 2020 commercial trends are becoming clear: white cheesecloth pieces, peasant blouses, cowboy boots, scrappy sandals, neutral tones, and bandana print.

Now onto the darling of high fashion Twitter: Jacquemus.

As far as presentation goes, this has to be one of my favourite set-ups of the season; a hot pink runway running through a lavender meadow is as canny and serene as those who sing the praises of Simon Porte Jacquemus would have you expect, and the clothes were easy, breezy and beautiful, even if there is an element of getting dressed in the dark going on with the styling which put me off including a few otherwise gorgeous pieces. It might not be 100% my style but you can tell this is a brand of the future which is only going to go from strength to strength.

And everything was beautifully and purposefully crafted on the runway with J.W Anderson this year. The pieces are graceful and timeless whilst still easy to envision as something a modern woman would throw on to (very fashionably) run some errands in the city. This was also one of the handful of shows (IIRC! This might be a case of extreme deja-vu!) where we saw the sandal straps tied over the trousers, I’m guessing to accentuate the ankles, and...I’m surprisingly here for it? Though in a sense it kinda resembles when I accidentally get my work trousers tucked into my slipper socks, it’s an interesting touch and adds a bit of a shape to otherwise billowing bottom halves.

Following Jacquemus’ lead (or vice versa, I’m way too deep into this fashion month haze to work out who went first at this point), Lacoste also put on a co-ed show. Otherwise crisp and preppy as per, the neckerchiefs (even if seeing them all next to one another does give off a bit of a Disneyland Main Street barbershop quartet vibe) and vinyl/wet-look/PVC/I’m still not sure what differentiates the 3 coats were an out of the box touch for them and I really liked it. It’s athleisure, but more like something Hayley Bieber would’ve worn as part of her Princess Diana inspired shoot than anything I’d wear to the gym.

LMAO, as if I go the gym. But you get my point. Next, Loewe:

Delicate, feminine and all around delightful, the S/S 2020 Loewe collection is up there with Chloe and Brock when it comes to most spring appropriate. More chiffon, lace and doily-like detailing, please, the old woman in me lives for this kinda thing made fashionable. Like with J.W Anderson, you can tell the design team wanted to do something different without just throwing shit onto their pieces for the sake of being wacky, and so we end up with these dramatic, slightly geometric waistlines and almost angelic Victorian nightgown inspired dresses that kinda make me wished that 1). ghosts existed and that 2). I lived back in that era so I could die some tragic death wearing any one of the dresses on the left in the top 3 rows and then haunt the shit out of everyone. That would really be an iconic fashion moment. Also wonderful, imo, was Louis Vuitton:

The mix between 60s and Edwardian I never knew I needed, as opposed to Gucci’s forward thinking take on the former decade, Louis Vuitton takes it back even further and throws in late 19th/early 20th century structures and references. I adore the what seems to be a mix between brocade and paisley print and the exaggerated collars are a very cute touch. The jacket on the top left is a highlight, a more neutral version of the similar catsuit seen at the Longchamp show (I couldn’t personally pick enough highlights from that to include it), and I now more than ever really want to try and pull off a sweater vest. The shoes might not be the most exciting thing ever but they’re also a personal favourite, from the knee high boots to the loafers with the LV moniker.

Maison Margiela was very cool and again, I’m in love with the shoes and just the accessories in general, ESPECIALLY those hats. I don’t know if I’m way off base here but this show is almost a modernised, fashionable version of a 1940s period drama about WW2 pilots and evacuees. Yes, maybe I am just getting that solely from the trench coats and the naval influences and the exaggerated collars but I think with that list I made quite a case for that perspective, right? Right.

And completing this holy trinity (appropriating the term I usually reserve for Emma Watson, Emma Stone and Emma Roberts is not without careful consideration) is Marc Jacobs. One of my ultimate favourites of this season, this collection is absolutely EVERYTHING: kitschy, dream-like, whimsical, over-the-top, and totally appropriate for your slightly eccentric aunt who always drinks too much wine and talks a lot of shit every time she comes over for dinner. I really feel like I walked into wonderland looking at this collection, and in the best way possible, it gives me a female Russell Brand in the 2000s’ wardrobe on crack. On the one hand we have these insanely beautiful and ethereal chiffon floral dresses but then we also have fricken top hats. Basically, it’s everything I love about fashion and I don’t know if anything can top it. Periodt (and I type that with a totally straight face).

Next, onto another personal fave, Marchesa:

Which is as always, beautiful. I was going to write that if Disney princesses came to life and lived in the modern world (so, in other words, Elle Fanning), they would be wearing Marchesa and then I remembered that the film Enchanted exists and had a lightbulb moment and thought OH MY GOD IF THEY REMADE THAT IN 2019, THE DRESS ON THE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE ROW WOULD BE A PERFECT LEVELLING UP OF THE CURTAIN DRESS.

Anyways, favourites of the favourites are the bottom row; I would die for that feather trim.

BUT where Marchesa is everything opulent, overly ornate and err-ing on “fussy”, Margaret Howell’s S/S 2020 collection is completely stripped back and just as effective, if not as to my taste. Very cool, very current, and altogether effortless (in a good way!), with this show Margaret Howell made mid-20th century utilitarianism relevant. I never thought I’d be praising the combination of bermuda shorts, crew socks and a beanie and yet here I am. Character development.

Next is Marine Serre:

Which I really like! The bottom row isn’t really to my personal taste but I can acknowledge that if I saw somebody wearing any one of those outfits I’d think they looked sick, and as for the first two rows, those mesh tops and the slightly chintzy florals are right up my alley.

Marques Almeida put out a really strong collection, imo. The blending of luxurious silhouettes and fabrics with street wear inspired prints and styling is a really interesting and unique contrast and if Billie Eilish ever decided to stop wearing those tweenie clothes and wanted to actually seduce somebody’s dad (I LOVE BILLIE EILISH AND I KNOW WHY SHE DRESSES THE WAY SHE DOES, IT’S A JOKE, PLS DON’T HATE ME), I’d love to see her wearing something like this. It’s a blend of punk, urban, and 2019 e-girl and has the kind of edge that Topshop has lost over the past couple of years that used to make it so aspirational to my 13 year old self. Of all the shows, it also probably has the most personally wearable accessories, and a shit tonne of cool make up looks I’d love to try if it weren’t for my lack of visible eyelid, lol.

Make up looks were a highlight of the Max Mara show too, for me anyway.

I otherwise wasn’t hugely keen on the collection, it being a little too matronly/Miss.Trunchbull-esque for my liking (wild card fashion inspiration of 2019, apparently?). The light paisley print dresses are very dreamy, though, and I can never resist a good suit.

As for Michael Kors, dare I say it, but the basic bitch in me loved it. I know as a designer he’s not held in very high regard by the fashion community and I'm not saying it’s at all original but it did what it set out to do well; I mean, it’s quite fitting that he cameo-d in an episode of Gossip Girl because every outfit would be perfect for the Constance attending incarnation of Blair Waldorf, which is probably why I like the collection. Like yeah, it’s a bit of a Polo Ralph Lauren/Lacoste rip off but it’s daintier and more feminine and so I’m not gonna lie, I’m on board with it.

Next, Miu Miu.

One of the collections I was most excited for, I was a little disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the collection, but I have never once disliked anything Miu Miu and I usually love it. There are things I love about this line too: the cream, floral lace-up boots, the off-the-shoulder cardigans, the houndstooth oversized coats and of course the fur-lined gilets. My mum used to buy me similar ones when I was a little girl and so they give me childhood nostalgia in the best way possible. I mean, the collection is as girly and eccentric as ever. I think it’s just a little too on the primary school librarian side for me, this time round. Sorry Miu Miu xoxo

Now I’m just gonna speed through a couple, starting with MM6 Maison Margiela, the younger sister to the more expensive regular Maison Margiela line:

And Monique Lhuillier:

So that I can get to one of my other ultimate favourite collections for S/S 2020: Moschino.

Oh my god, where to even start. Firstly, I might be reaching, but if this show is even remotely to thank for art nouveau mesh tops showing up in the Urban Outfitters new in section, then a very sarcastic thank you to Jeremy Scott. You just made ethical shopping a lot harder. HOW am I supposed to not buy an Alphonse Mucha top? HOW!? I mean, I’m sure I’ll manage (I’m on month 3 without a shopping spree I can’t actually afford now and yes, I am very much patting myself on the back), but HOW!?

But on a serious level, if renaissance was the print of 2019, which I’m still very much into BTW, bring on modern art as its 2020 replacement. The Pablo Picasso inspired show not only livened up a generally pretty predictable fashion month but it’s also got me searching up other times art has met fashion on the runway and thrown me down a particularly aesthetically pleasing wormhole I’m not sure I ever want to escape from (https://frontrowmagazine.ca/art-inspired-looks-were-all-over-the-runways-of-fashion-week-a74e8bc7ff0d and https://www.vogue.com/article/spring-2017-ready-to-wear-fine-arts-trends are good starting points!).

Mugler was also up there with the best of them, imo:

See, if the Moschino collection was all about dabbling in art class, Mugler’s S/S 2020 collection is its more mathematically inclined sister, all about sharp lines and deconstructed silhouettes and symmetry all whilst looking hot as fuck. So very Mugler, basically.

Now, this reference might be slightly off because I haven’t actually SEEN Ex-Machina yet but I imagine if Kim Kardashian were to channel that movie for a costume party she’d end up wearing something from this collection. That sounds like a roast because Kim has worn some questionable outfits but I blame Kanye for most of that and I’m referring to her on a good fashion day, alright!?

As for Off-White, it’s obviously a lot more commercial than most of the lines I’ve reviewed so far. Like, I can see a lot of these outfits on a mannequin in Urban Outfitters (no, I am not being paid to namedrop them, about 3 people in total read this Tumblr so any kind of sponsorship money would be severely wasted on me). That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and I love all of these looks; it just seems unfair to compare them to the the Mugler or Moschino collections, for example.

The stand outs for me are all on the bottom row: I would buy the utility vest, leather blazer and the all mesh turtleneck under washed-out tie-dye on the spot if I saw them in a high street store. Unfortunately, I feel like that’s kinda where they belong. You just expect collections to be a bit more conceptual, and this one is a little watered down, as much as it’s my style.

Oscar de la Renta was beautiful, of course. Not like I’m shook by how beautiful it is but kinda just what you’d expect from a brand with a name as poetic and fun to say as Oscar de la Renta. The silhouettes are dreamy and the details are as fit for a fairy princess (lmao) as ever. Plus can I just say how happy I am to see butterflies on dresses for adult women again!? And dresses worn by Blanca Padilla nonetheless!? Very here for it.

Next up is another on one of my fashion month highlights: Paco Rabanne.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT!

I mean, don’t get me wrong, something about this collection (I’m pretty sure it’s the knee high coloured socks) is giving me primary school teacher vibes, but I'm not mad about it. It’d be the kind of teacher who’s actually really good at their job and has loads of cool hobbies and a really hot boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband who you secretly want to be then you grow up/and or have a huge crush on.

Like with Marc Jacobs, there’s obvious flower child elements here, and whilst on the whole the former took my breath away slightly more, this is a lot more wearable. My favourites are the paisley print dress and cape on the left in the very bottom row and all the chainmail pieces (which remind me of the dress Naomi Smalls wore in that whole club ninety-sixxxxx skit on drag race), plus that floral cut out dress with the trailing flute sleeves, which is absolute PERFECTION.

The 70s influence was clear in Peter Pilotto’s S/S 2020 collection too from the abundance of tie-dye to the knit v-neck dress, zany colour and print being the very on-brand focus. That being said, this is definitely more of a street-style inspired collection than usual and whilst the floral suits and dresses on the 3rd row down are very typical Peter Pilotto, the tie-dye corset and combat trousers on the far right, second row from the bottom, are very Jaded London. As for the reoccurrence of the bucket hat, I’ve remained steadfastly against them for several years now (even when our Lord and Saviour Miss Robyn Rihanna Fenty started wearing them) but the way they’re done in this collection even I could definitely get behind; all in all, the show surpassed my expectations.

The same goes for Ports 1961, which was a lot more eccentric than I gathered is the norm from a few google searches. Honestly, I hadn’t really heard of the brand which, upon reading up on it, I feel very dumb for considering it has been around since (in the shock twist of the century) 1961.

Yes, I know how that sounds! But forgive me, I’m still learning:)

Anyway, the fishnet detailing alone pretty much sold the looks I picked out. Seriously, I got a pair of those bloody tights, like, 2 years ago when they became a thing again and now any outfit where I have my legs out feels incomplete without them.

Next is Prabal Gurung, which, as far as presentation goes, was fucking STUNNING:

I mean, you could say that I’m easily impressed and that the presence of the bouquets won me over (and you’d definitely have a point there), but it’s also this year’s Givenchy haute couture-esque feathers, the trailing pearl necklaces, the exaggerated shoulders, the dreamy colouring, the everything looking like it could’ve grown off a very fashionably-inclined tree. Like, there’s a lot to love here, from the naturalistic elements, to the context behind the show, an ode to American fashion history and those cast out of it (and the notion of “being American” in general) for so long.

Going from a high to a (personal) low, however, next we have Prada:

I don’t know, I get that it’s supposed to be simple and stripped back and dignified and whatever and I like the looks I picked but it’s just a bit blah for me. The bonnets that kept cropping up just didn’t do it for me and almost ruined what is an otherwise nice skirt suit (top right). Nonetheless, I like the silhouette of the sheer black dress and the the brocade print suit is really luxurious looking, even if the pattern is a *little* Wetherspoons carpet.

Anyways, here’s a quick overview of Rag and Bone:

So that I can stop moaning and get onto a collection I REALLY liked:

I am of course talking about Ralph and Russo. See, this is kinda what I expected from, like, Chanel and yet it’s Ralph and Russo that delivered. Also, it gives me Alessandra Rich vibes which is very much a compliment considering how much I love her designs. I mean, if Valley of the Dolls were to get another film remake in 2019, this is exactly what I’d like to see the female leads wearing, from the pastel suits to the satin kaftan style dresses. The yellow feather trimmed dress is practically a copy of something Marchesa has already done but it’s cute all the same. In my top 10 collections of the season, for sure.

Rick Owens was another strong collection; it goes without saying that it’s not the most wearable but that’s not really what Rick Owens is known for, so I wouldn’t expect anything else. If you want fashion on an alien planet, or something Lady Gaga would’ve worn in 2010, he's your man.

Next, Rodarte:

Obviously the dresses are beautiful and the set is magnificent, BUT...I’m really not a fan of the whole celebrities filling in for high fashion models thing. I like Lili Reinhart and I adore Kirsten Dunst, she’s been in a load of my favourite films, but in a similar vein to Dolce and Gabbana’s influencer show, it’s just distracting from the actual garments, if even worse because I don’t WANT to be distracted here (the same can’t be said for the D&G show, lol). If anybody has read this far, let me know your thoughts!

Roland Mouret was nice, and I always like a coed show, especially when a designer isn’t afraid to blur the lines of masculine and feminine. It’s fresh, lightweight and luxurious looking, Cannes film festival street style eat your heart out, and I love the colour palette.

Similarly, colour was my favourite thing about Sally LaPointe’s S/S 2020 collection.

I would never think that teal and burnt orange would work together, let alone in some kind of faux leather, and yet here we are. Orange is in itself always an interesting colour choice, perfect for the summer with a tan, and I really love monochrome outfits, even though they’re something that ends up being quite pricey to put together; slight differences in tone are okay but if you just randomly throw together a few things and they’re too off, it really doesn’t work and you’d have been better off wearing contrasting colours. For that reason, I’m just gonna admire that all-pink outfit from a distance.

As for Schiaparelli, it’s one I always look forwards to for the sheer weirdness. RTW isn’t quite as kooky as haute couture but still, the interesting choices are still there; what at first glance appears to be flame print is actually coils of hair, and paired with a water print suit is a sequinned jacket emblazoned with a paradisiacal mirage. Ornament-like facial decorations as seen in the over-exaggerated glasses worn with the pony hair suit are also one of my favourite new things to happen in the high fashion scene in the past couple of months and I can’t wait to see how they get watered down to become more approachable for us...regular, non-structurally blessed folks who can’t pull off anything and everything.

Simone Rocha was STUNNING. Romantic and ethereal, it’s druid goddess crossed with upper class Victorian woman of leisure, equal parts delicate and grungy, like a modern, fashion version of Lady Gaga’s Scathach in the Roanoke season of American Horror Story. You know, in the flashbacks, not in present day when she was all gross and like...scalping people and shit. Each dress is so ornate and has such an interesting structure, and the fabric choices give off an organic kinda vibe that create a handmade feel; the collection is, imo, really worthy of being shown under a haute couture heading. When it comes to my favourite element of the show, I’m torn between the petticoats and the hair accessories. I’m just gonna give a cop-out answer and say both.

Stella McCartney on the other hand, is very much a clear ready-to-wear collection.

It’s pretty, for sure. The pastel blazers paired with delicate white mesh tops underneath are a gorgeous combination for spring and I like the reoccurrence of the chain glasses (Gucci, right?). But I mean, when you go from Simone Rocha to this, it’s a bit anticlimactic. Plus, if I’m honest, kaftans are always going to remind me of Honey Mahogany from season 5 of Drag Race. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure she’s a lovely person but her runway looks aren’t really ones I look back fondly on, and you’re lying if you say you enjoyed them for anything other than meme purposes.

Temperley is equally meh, though the return of the Erdem-style boating hats is getting me excited that high street retailers might actually pick up on the trend and bring out some cheap ones for me to embarrass myself by wearing.

I also love a good 70s suit, the neckerchiefs are cute and there are some really delightful prints here that are a more unique approach to florals for spring.

Coming towards the end now, next is Thom Browne:

I LOVE this. Like, don’t get me wrong Rick Owens was cool but I adore how on the nose the concept is here; time to bring back all the Marie Antoinette puns I didn’t get to use in my Versailles Instagram post. I don’t know if it’s the history buff in me or the Sofia Coppola Stan but I will always be willing to sign any kind of treaty for anything related to the excesses of the 18th century French monarchy, and this is that turned up to 1000 infused with a dash of the Teletubbies, which sounds like a nightmarish concept, I know, but as high fashion it WORKS.

Tory Burch was very commercial, seemingly half inspired by Monterey yoga moms and the other half by Hamptons socialites.

And then there was Valentino, which was fucking exquisite, imo. LIKE, CALLING DOCLE & GABBANA: THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE TROPICAL PRINT INTERESTING. YOU MAKE THE VELVET MONKEY’S ARM THE FRICKEN WAISTBAND.

Seriously, though, I am enamoured with this colour palette; all the whites and golds are angelic and fr, I didn’t know until now that you could make neons this elegant. I’m also getting an almost clerical feel from a lot of these looks, with the plaited waistband on the black dress that’s 7th row down in the middle, the stunning red cape and the multitude of exaggerated neck ruffs. I think I’ve mentioned before but I always love religious references in clothing-I don’t think I’ll ever get over the 2018 Met Gala-and so whether I’m reading too much into it or not, this collection really did it for me.

Whilst it’s probably as far removed a collection from Valentino’s S/S 2020 contribution you can get, I also loved Vera Wang this season. It might purely (I PROMISE THIS IS MY LAST GOSSIP GIRL REFERENCE) be because it gives me Jenny Humphrey vibes and *controversial* she did have my favourite style of any of the main characters, but sue me, this is just the right amount of late 90s/early 2000s grunge. Deconstructed trashy goth it girl is an interesting concept to see on the runway and I completely support it.

Versace on the other hand was very hit or miss. The looks I picked out I really loved but ultimately, for one of the household name brands, a lot of the actual garments were a bit pedestrian. I will say though that for me, it’s a case of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. The slicked back mermaid hair and the pops of colour in the makeup and the interesting necklines meant that when it was good, it was GOOD. However, overall, still a bit too 80s Miami businesswoman, and please GOD, can we leave that hideous J-Lo dress in the past, it should really not be the climax of the show in 20-fucking-19!

As for Victoria Beckham, I liked it, but it’s a bit of a Gucci copy, no? And no way near as interesting?

And on that note, I’m gonna have to cut this off. Super annoying but with only 5 collections left that I want to talk about, Tumblr is being a little bitch and will not let me add anything more to this post. So, see you in 5 for the final post!

Lauren x

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briangroth27 · 5 years

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Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark Review

I really enjoyed Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark! While I preferred Goosebumps as a kid, the three Scary Stories books were also an ever-present part of my childhood and I can vividly remember reading them by flashlight with the lights off. The vast majority of my early knowledge of urban legends came from the stories in those books and they certainly helped build my love of spooky things in general as well as the “kids encounter the supernatural” sub-genre of horror/sci-fi specifically. I haven’t read the books in years (though I still have them), but this movie made me want to revisit them because it’s so good!

Full Spoilers…

Scary Stories is anchored by very strong performances from its teen cast. The main kids do really well with the material they’re given, crafting protagonists that touch on standard teen archetypes but that are also fleshed out, especially Zoe Margaret Colletti (Stella) and Michael Garza (Ramon). Stella is the most well-rounded and explored character in the film, and Colletti displays a huge range of emotion! She capably led the movie and she clearly has a bright career ahead of her. I liked that Stella was the most into horror and nerdy things among her friends, but no one treated that as weird even in this film’s era (girls have always been into nerdy stuff too!). The one thing I wanted more of in terms of her character was why “everyone said” it was her fault that her mother left. Feeling responsible for the absence of a parent is a common childhood misconception, but it seemed weird to frame it as something the whole town would be telling her without also giving a reason for it (though it did give her a connection to Sarah’s own persecution by the entire town, even if only in Stella’s mind). It was really cool of the movie to draw Ramon as the mysterious outsider kid rather than some troubled/tough white kid. That lent the movie a fresh feel while also touching on the racism of the period (which is still in full force today; one of many grounded horrors the movie dabbles in that are very much as relevant now as they were in the film’s 1968 setting). Garza brought an effortless coolness to Ramon that felt appropriately period while also acting as a great mask for his fears. Ramon and Stella’s budding romance was sweet and cute too.

Auggie (Gabriel Rush) and Chuck (Austin Zajur) were no slouches either, providing most of the film’s comic relief while also capably playing real terror and friendship. The two of them and Stella felt extremely natural as friends since childhood and Ramon also effortlessly blended into the group; these four kids’ chemistry was fantastic! At first I wished we'd gotten more personal connections between Chuck and especially Auggie’s fears and their personalities: most victims here face stories pulled from their established fears and anxieties, but Chuck and Auggie’s initially felt more random. A personalized connection to the stories the book used against them after “reading them” would enhance the scares and illuminate their characters, and after thinking about it more I think I may have an idea of what they're going for. I could buy Auggie as a hypochondriac, so eating a toe would be horrifying, and he seems to be the most afraid of spooky things among his circle of friends, so maybe his story is attuned to him, but just felt generic because of the more generalized nature of his fears. Chuck’s story is based on a recurring nightmare he has, but I think it’s more personal than that. The Pale Lady (Mark Steger) could be punishment for Chuck’s objectification of women via his pen, but I’m wondering if perhaps that pen is a front (given how quick to show it off he is, to prove his interest in it) and he’s secretly gay. He scoffs at Auggie’s attraction to Ruth (Natalie Ganzhorn), he’s attacked by the book in a mental hospital (homosexuality was classified as a mental illness in 1968), and his nightmare calls its red room (which turns out to be the entire building when the alarm lights come on) “an evil place” (conversion therapy is torture). I think the Pale Lady is a manifestation of conformity and traditional relationships being forced onto him (or rather, forcing him into their narrow definitions by literally absorbing him): she’s everywhere and he can’t outrun or escape her.

Chuck’s sister Ruth also got some solid depth: though initially introduced as a stuck-up and cliché popular teen, they quickly had her stand up for her brother. The fact that both of them annoyed one another but they still raced to help each other made their relationship feel very real. That she’s helping continue the search for him at the end of the film instead of being condemned to insanity forever or something is awesome too! Tommy (Austin Abrams) was the only teen character that was really written as one-note, but it was a frightening note, both because of the violence and racism he exuded and the fact that he could easily be a modern radicalized teen, filled with all the same kinds of hate, rage, and eagerness to go off and kill people in a pointless war that you can find online nowadays. Now that I think about it, Chief Turner (Gil Bellows) was also written fairly single-mindedly and he was also a villain. I wonder if that’s intentional: these human villains don’t have redeeming qualities or sympathetic backstories, so their racism and ugliness is fully on them. Of course, continuing to embrace racism is always fully on the racist, but this film isn’t even trying to make excuses for why they might be like that. I think the movie’s saying there really isn’t anything more to people who are this consumed by hate and ignorance. There’s no point in trying to reason with them because they’re exactly what they present to the world (except they’re not strong like they pretend: they’re just scared straw men).

The movie’s main villain, Sara Bellows (Kathleen Pollard), does have more layers to her than these human ghouls: despite being “evil,” she’s presented as (initially) being a victim whose only crime was trying to warn the town about mercury poisoning in the water. After taking her revenge on her family for committing and torturing her, Sarah’s decline into unfocused rage parallels Stella’s inability to let go of her feeling that she drove her mother away nicely. I wonder if part of Sarah’s reason for attacking the kids just for finding and taking her book was because she thought they’d lie about her too; it’s when Stella promises to write and tell her story faithfully that she relents, after all. Skimming through the books again after seeing the movie, I realized I’d forgotten they were written to help you scare the people you were reading to, so I liked that Sarah telling stories tailored to her victims was her method of vengeance and that Stella had to help tell her story to end the terror. Those are cool ways to honor the structure of the books.

The film has a great mix of jump scares (some of which did work on me), gross-out imagery (Auggie and that toe, man!), body horror (Tommy’s fate was brutal and painful-looking!), and real-life terror (Ramon running from the draft resonated with me a lot; even as a kid growing up in the 90s, being drafted to go die in some war was a major fear of mine). It was sobering to see just how many of the societal problems of the late 60s (racism, pollution, white boy rage/toxic masculinity, useless wars, the wealthy screwing over everyone for profit, no one listening to women, etc.) still haven’t been solved today. I do wish the movie were a little scarier, but the overall tone is wonderfully spooky (and decidedly “fall,” which was great), while the comic relief breaks up the tension nicely. The design of the monsters is very cool, with some of them looking like they walked right out of the books. The pacing is brisk, the directing, writing, and score are all solid, and the actors all bring their A-game. Sarah Bellows’ book was a good way to weave the original series’ stories together and I really liked that our heroes don’t just forget or ignore what they’ve been through and walk away from the terror at the end of the movie. Instead, Stella, her father (Dean Norris), and Ruth are actively headed off to rescue Chuck and Auggie. I love that, like in the real world, you can’t just let evil fester: you’ve got to stand up and protect each other. Ramon also goes off to face his fears, enlisting in the army, but that was a lot more somber: I didn’t get the sense that he’ll be coming back (though I hope he will!).

I’d definitely watch More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark and hope we get another movie (and a third one, if they want to go that far)! I love this spooky 90s literature renaissance that’s going on and I’d like to see it continue (please give me Goosebumps 3 and a show about The Adventures of the Bailey School Kids while we’re at it!). In the meantime, get your Halloween season started early, because these Scary Stories are definitely worth a trip to the theater!

Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!

#scary stories to tell in the dark

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thecrownnet · 4 years

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Season four began filming immediately after three wrapped. The ever-aggressive paparazzi snapped many scenes of Princess Diana (Emma Corrin) and former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher (Gillian Anderson) filming the penultimate installment, which just narrowly completed production before the Covid-19 shutdowns in the U.K. But the rush to finish didn't affect the costume department.

"With all those custom-made pieces, you have to be ahead of the game," explains Roberts. Her couture house-like department regularly operated on a three-week to one-month-ahead schedule, especially for the "ceremonial" pieces for principles.

"In fact, the last day, it was a huge scene with Diana and that was it," she continues. "We went out on a bang, you know. A massive scene with her in New York, and that was it. No more filming."

[Spoilers Ahead]

Season four extends to 1989, when Princess Diana embarked on a solo trip to New York City — actually shot in Manchester, England — prior to her 1992 separation from Charles. Playing the People's Princess, Corrin was photographed wearing a stunning re-creation of a gold-embroidered, pearl-embellished Victor Edelstein gown and bolero jacket that Diana wore to attend a Welsh National Opera Gala production of "Falstaff" at the Brooklyn Academy Of Music.

As "The Crown" stans anxiously await the announcement of a season four premiere date from Netflix, Roberts revisits some of the costume and behind-the-scenes highlights from three with Fashionista, including Colman's reaction to donning Queen Elizabeth II's intimidating investiture helmet, Princess Margaret's historically inaccurate White House visit dress and Prince Charles's and Camilla's imagined meet-cute outfits. And, yes, the costume designer drops more teasers for the upcoming season, including Princess Diana's "fantastic journey."

Your re-creations for Queen Elizabeth II were so accurate, like the fur-trimmed coat she wore to Aberfan (episode three) and her investiture suit — especially the hat. What was the most challenging costume to recreate and why?

The investiture costume with that extraordinary hat. In "The Crown," you have key moments with actual events that we know about. [The images are] very much out there on film and photographs and you are acknowledging those looks. I hate to say we're "copying" them. I think we're making a nod to them with hopefully a bit of us in there.

But that was quite a challenge because everybody knew that extraordinary medieval hat that the Queen wore. [We made ours out of] a very fine satin georgette and getting that color, that pale clotted cream color, [was a challenge]. For Olivia, that was quite a challenge to wear as well. She's a remarkable actress to work with, as you can imagine. She just lets you do your job. But even she looked slightly askance when that hat came out. But being Olivia, she went with it.

Which costume for Queen Elizabeth II allowed you the most creative freedom, because it wasn't a re-creation?

I'm really fond of when I imagine dealing with the real woman. There's a series of outfits [in episode five], when she is very involved with sorting out her riding stables and her horses aren't doing very well. And she leaves her [royal] role in the care of her mother and goes off [to Normandy, France and then Kentucky] with Lord Porchey [John Hollingworth].

I loved doing her like that. In macs [trench coats] and blouses and skirts and headscarves. The scarves are such a cool look. People can really relate to that now with that slightly Prada and Miu Miu-style shirts, blouses and colors that we went for. When she dines, for once, she's not done up in a long dress. She's in rather attractive — well, I think they were nice — floral silk dresses.

I loved being able to see or pretend or imagine that side of her; that kind of upper-middle-class country woman doing things that she loved. [Spending time with] her horses — not that there are many dogs in that episode — which I think she probably feels most at ease with. Olivia looked fantastic in those clothes. She's like glowing in a way.

Everybody assumes [my favorites are] all the big ball dresses, which are lovely to do. But I like doing that more real element of people. This other side. 'The Crown' gives you that fantastic opportunity — the big, glamour, out there moments — and there's a lot of very intimate personal stuff, where you don't know what they would wear or what they would say, but you can have let your imagination go with that one and that's lovely to do.

In episode two, Princess Margaret goes to the White House to see President and Ladybird Johnson, to help secure U.S. aid. You designed a floral, off-the-shoulder, arm-baring dress, which made sense for her to trade dirty limericks with POTUS. But in real life, Princess Margaret wore a pink, long-sleeved jacket over her gown. What was the inspiration behind changing the design, and what are the print and silhouette telling us about her?

I just wanted to be a bit bolder and more startling. I just remember when we saw that fabric in one of the shops, I thought, 'That's it. That's it! Let's use that for that [part].' Sometimes things jump out at you, don't they? Also, it's a portrayal of Margaret by an extraordinary woman, Helena Bonham Carter. So somehow you're also taking that on board. With Helena, you could push it a little bit further and she would just be bold and brave with it herself.

Princess Anne is considered a fashion icon and as young woman in the late '60s and '70s, she was able to push the fashion envelope and do things like wear jeans and mini-skirts. How did you use her costume to show her as the more independent one in the family?

I don't think she represented the wild '60s. But the mini-skirts — the short skirts — that she wore, represented the '60s in a kind of posh-girl way. The first image that we had of her [to work off of] was written in the script as Anne in jodhpurs. That blew it all apart, didn't it? Here's this girl, strutting through the palace in riding breeches and boots — I think that's how it was written — that was my big guide into how we would deal with her.

There's a little shot of her [in episode six], when she visits her brother, when he's performing the play and she's in the audience. She's got '60s baker boy cap on, but there's nothing extreme about her. It's sort of sensible. It's getting that balance of that youthful brashness, but still she's a princess.

I did enjoy the scene where a buttoned-up Prince Charles calls her from Wales because he's homesick. She's in her room at the palace — and it's all messy — and she's wearing high-waisted flare jeans and a Hawaiian-print, long-sleeved T-shirt.

[That] was a scene where you could do that. She's on her own and I quite like that because it was contrasted against Charles, who never gets to be relaxed. He's at university. He's still wearing those little old man clothes, like tweed jackets and sweaters. I mean he looks adorable, because the actor's quite adorable, isn't he? [Ed. note: Yes.] He never somehow lets his hair down. So it was quite fun that she was dressed like that and he was in corduroy trousers or slacks — they were called slacks then — and a jumper.

It was really quite funny, the director of that particular episode, Christian Schwochow, is quite young himself and also German. So his view on the Royal Family was quite refreshing and we wanted to blow it out of the water as much as we could.

What inspiration and process did you go through to design and create the costumes for imagined scenes between Charles and Camilla?

There's very little reference [imagery] on her in that early time. With Camilla, it's a sexy posh girl with, dare I say, not a huge amount of style. Why should she? Why should she have that? So it's just that Sloane Ranger girl. We were just trying to tune into that and her country pursuits. So after she marries [Andrew Parker Bowles, played by Andrew Buchan] in series four, suddenly she looks a whole lot more herself, really. She's living the life she wants to in the country, [as part of the] the country set. It was a little point to what she'd become, probably. She's fun, relaxed and not particularly into clothes.

In series three, you know that you'll see a lot of these people again in series four. So you're kind of giving little pointers to what they'll become when they're a bit older and more settled. And people have a style. You change, of course, but you are what you are. You just get a little more sophisticated or get a little more confident.

Speaking of, images of Emma Corrin as Princess Diana in famously-photographed outfits (or variations of them) have been caught by paparazzi. How does Diana's place as an international fashion icon influence how you designed her portrayal in season four?

Well, she was brilliant to do because she has a real journey in four. Most of them do, but she, in particular, has a fantastic journey — a real arc — again, like Camilla. We kick off with a nice little Sloane Ranger, wearing bobbly old jumpers, and you end up with a dramatic change. A complete manipulation of her look. Like, she puts on suits of armor to protect herself. So that's all we'll say about that.

What hints can you share about the other members of the Royal Family in season four?

The Queen grows in being steadier in her role and her marriage. I'm always saying this, but whatever issues she has — or had — in the marriage, [she and Philip, played by Tobias Menzies] found a way of dealing with that, like a lot of marriages. It's just everybody maturing.

And Margaret — that very tempestuous relationship she has with Tony at the beginning, it's just getting more and more toxic. Of course, in four, her life is really a real mess and we just illustrate that with her clothes. But the colors are much more dour and bruised and her flamboyance from three is slightly toned down now. Charles actually matures into a married man, quite stylish, but, again, an unhappy marriage. And good old Queen Mum stays the same. Lovely Queen Mum. I love her.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

#olivia colman #gillian anderson #helena bonham carter #josh o’connor #the crown #tobias menzies #ben daniels #erin doherty #emerald fennell #emma corrin #marion bailey #the crown netflix

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let-it-raines · 4 years

Text

your wonder under summer skies (1/?)

rating: mature

a/n: This is thanks to wanting a good, fun summer story to help ease some of the weight of the world off everyone's shoulders, if only for twenty minutes. I hope that you are giving yourself a mental break when you need it and that you still find things that bring you joy 💕

It’s not finished yet, so I can’t do a regular posting schedule. Instead, we’ll do those super fun surprise postings 😂Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for everything she does!

found on ao3 | here |

-/-

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“Oh, come on. You’re being ridiculous!”

Emma scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest. He’s got to be kidding. If not, she’s about two seconds away from losing her mind. Or punching him. one of the two. “Ridiculous? How the hell is this being ridiculous?”

“I’m working with my dad, Ems,” Neal sighs with a roll of his eyes. “You act like it’s the end of the world.”

He doesn’t get it. Oh my God, he really doesn’t get it.

After all of this time, how does he not?

“It’s not the end of the world,” Emma admits even as she grits her teeth, “but it’s also you going back on everything we agreed on! You’re not supposed to work with your dad. He’s into some shady as hell stuff. No one knows what it is, but we all know that most of it can’t be legal. No one lives in a mansion like that by owning a pawn shop in a town this size.”

“It’s family money.”

“Bullshit.”

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“Because I’ve known you for five years, and you’ve lived in shitty apartments and driven even shittier cars for almost all of that time. But without fail, you get into a bind, go spend time with your dad for the two of you to “make up”, and magically you have money to fix everything. It doesn’t take a genius to put it together. For the past year, you’ve been in a nice car and haven’t struggled to pay for anything.”

Neal groans and turns on his heels, walking toward the kitchen before moving back and stepping closer to her. She takes two steps back.

“I work at a car dealership now, Ems. They give me a good deal.” He’s avoiding the conversation, and really, maybe she should do the same thing. Maybe it’s not worth having another fight with Neal over this. They have enough other problems without having to focus on this. Maybe she should just accept that this is how it is. “Maybe if you had parents to help get you out of a bind, you’d understand that there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.” He didn’t slap her, but there’s still a sting across her cheek.

What the fuck?

He did not just say that. Did he actually just throw her parents in her face like that? What kind of an asshole move is that?

It’s a Neal move.

And she’s damn tired of it. This isn’t how this is supposed to be. This is not how it’s supposed to be. In the back of her mind, she knows that, knows that she deserves better than this. It’s supposed to be like David and Mary Margaret or Ariel and Eric. It’s not…it’s not this.

It’s not someone she loves using her heartbreak against her.

Emma slaps Neal.

It’s hard, and it stings her hand in the aftershock, but it’s so damn satisfying that she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care that it was a dumbass decision and that Neal could retaliate sometime. It won’t get physical. She knows that. She also knows him well enough to know that things like this very rarely fly under the radar with him.

God, she’s been such an idiot to stay with him like she has.

Why does she keep doing this to herself?

“What the fuck?” Neal seethes as he drags his fingers across his face and spits at her feet. “What the fuck was that, Emma?”

“That was what you deserved for using my parents to hurt me, for working with your dad again, and for sleeping with the damn waitress at Granny’s.”

“I didn’t sleep with Ruby.”

He is an idiot.

But she’s the bigger one for staying with him.

“Ruby isn’t the only waitress at Granny’s.” Emma’s shaking with anger, unexpected sadness creeping up behind it and trying to overwhelm her, but she manages to step forward until she’s eye-to-eye with Neal. She doesn’t even know if she recognizes him anymore because there is no way this is the man she fell in love with. “Maybe next time you decide to fuck around, don’t do it with a woman who works in the same place as my best friend.”

He blinks, and she thinks it’s over. Hell, she knows that it’s over, but then he smiles. “C’mon, Ems. It was one time.”

Lie.

She knows it’s been more than one, and yet she’s still standing here.

Stupid.

So, so stupid.

“You and I both know I can tell when you’re lying.”

“You’ve always thought you had that superpower or whatever, but I’ve never believed it.” He gets even closer and tries to soften his smile, his boyish features becoming more prominent and is eyes filling with kindness. “She doesn’t mean anything to me. You do. I love you.”

Lie.

That’s a lie, too.

He wouldn’t do this to her if he loved her, right?

(God, she hopes that if someone loves her, they wouldn’t cheat.)

“Then you should have acted like it. We’re done. I’m not putting up with your shit anymore.”

“Ems – ”

“No. Just no.”

All she wants is to get out of there. This apartment is suffocating, and she’s in desperate need of air so her lungs won’t collapse. But she’s also got some of her stuff there that she doesn’t want to leave in Neal’s hands, so she walks back to the bedroom and grabs an overnight bag and starts stuffing her clothes and her books inside. She grabs everything that’s hers and hers alone as Neal follows her around giving pathetic excuses for everything.

He’s sorry, he says.

She doesn’t care.

(She does.)

He’ll be better for her, he says.

She doesn’t believe him.

(For a moment, she wants to.)

“Fuck you, Neal,” Emma says without any noticeable tone in her voice. That surprises her. She doesn’t know how she’s not shaking with tears. She reaches up and unclasps a necklace from her neck. It’s a damn keychain. She used to treasure it. Not anymore. “Maybe you can get some money for this at your dad’s shop. Or maybe you can give it to Tamara since you seem to like her so much.”

And then she slams the door behind her.

It’s an adrenaline rush she hasn’t experienced before. God, she should have. She’s been in this situation far more times than she’d ever admit to anyone else, but it’s never felt this final.

It’s never felt this good.

Oh shit.

She needs that air bow.

She can’t breathe.

All it took was five seconds for her to fall apart, and she will not cry in his hallway. She will not let him see her like this.

Neal did not break her, and Emma won’t let him think that he did.

(She won’t let herself think that, not again.)

So she jogs to her car, throws her bag in the passenger seat, and she drives until she can get her breathing under control. It’s difficult, especially when her throat keeps getting clogged up, but no tears fall from her eyes. Maybe she didn’t need to cry. Maybe she simply needed to get out of a suffocating environment.

How many years of her life did she waste on that asshole?

No, she won’t go there. She can’t. Where she will go is the beach because that’s apparently where she’s ended up driving.

How did that even happen? She must have zoned out and let her body take control. The fact that she didn’t crash on the way here seems like a miracle.

Emma turns the key in her bug, grabs her phone, and gets out of the car.

The beach is quiet, but it’s only the middle of May. Schools are still in session, and families haven’t started flooding in for their vacations. It’s weird, but it’s also the last moment of peace Storybrooke is going to have until October rolls around and the place is a ghost town again.

The highs and lows of living in a coastal town whose entire purpose is catering to people in the summer months. She should probably call Mary Margaret and make sure they’ve got all of the vendors set up for when families start sending their kids off to the two of them for the entire day. They also need to get permission to use the ballroom for the charity dinner for Storybrooke Children’s Shelter, but that’s months from now and they only need the ballroom if it rains. Focusing on that really shouldn’t be what Emma is concentrating on.

But then maybe it is. Because if she focuses on work and not her personal life, then maybe her personal life won’t seem so ridiculously shitty.

Who is she kidding?

Her personal life is probably the shittiest.

When she gets to the end of the boardwalk, she reaches down to take off her sandals and hold them in her hand as her feet sink into the softness of the sand. It’s warmer than she expected it to be, but she’s not going to complain as some of the stress of her day washes itself away as she watches the ocean water drift in and out, leaving white foam to sink into the ground.

It’s her favorite thing in the world.

Maybe that’s why she ended up here.

Emma sighs and starts walking, letting her feet get covered by the water with each step. She hasn’t done this in far too long. She’s not let herself spend her time outside, even for her runs, and she shouldn’t have done that. She should have gotten up early and come out here to run or taken her lunch break at one of the picnic tables spread across the sand.

She should have done more.

She also should have watched where she was going because without realizing it, she’s wandered half a mile down the beach from where she parked and is standing in front of Jones Boating.

Who is she kidding? This is exactly where she wanted to walk, and it’s exactly why she drove to the beach in the first place.

There’s no point in lying to herself over the decisions she’s making today.

Emma slips her shoes back on before opening the front door to the building. A little bell goes off as she walks in, and while she’s usually greeted, there’s no one at the front desk. But then she hears the clicking of nails, and all of the sudden Killian’s border collie is walking toward her.

“Hey, Skipper,” she sighs, leaning down to scratch behind his ears before he can jump up on her. “How are you doing? Good? Have they let you go out on a boat today, or are those bad men keeping you inside? Huh?”

“He went for a run this morning, love.”

Emma looks up from petting Skipper’s ears to see Killian standing with his arms folded over his chest and a brow raised. He’s got on a t-shirt and joggers, his feet only in socks, and he definitely hasn’t brushed his hair today. Killian Jones, the eternal early riser, is obviously having an off day.

Those must be contagious or something.

Though, her off day is definitely something of her own making.

Maybe if she could stop picking such shitty boyfriends…

“A run is not the same thing as going out on a boat. Not as much hair blowing and definitely more effort on his part.”

“He loves to run. I don’t think he was suffering.” Killian opens his mouth, but then it snaps shut, his eyes glancing over her body. “Is something the matter?”

Her heart absolutely does something unnatural. It’s probably been doing that for an hour now, and this is the first time she’s allowed herself to feel it.

Should she call a doctor? She’d probably get laughed out of the emergency room.

“No, I’m fine.”

Killian clicks his tongue. “I don’t believe you, Swan, but your personal life is your own.”

Oh, he is so not letting it go, and they both know it. He’s waiting for the right time to coax it out of her, and they both know it.

She’s going to take the out, though.

“Why aren’t you dressed?”

“I have clothes on. I believe I’m dressed.”

“You look like you just rolled out of bed.”

“I promise I did not, mostly because I sleep in the nude.”

“Shut up,” Emma groans, getting up from the ground and patting Skipper’s head. “You don’t even have shoes on. You know what I mean.”

“Aye. I’m painting the back offices while Liam is at some city council meeting.”

“He’s so going to murder you when he gets back. He didn’t want those rooms painted.”

“They had wallpaper with fish on them. He will thank me later.”

“Yeah, after he murders you.”

Killian shrugs. “It’ll be worth it. You want to help?”

“You know, my day unexpectedly cleared up, so I’d love to help.”

“No work?”

“Not until around six tonight.”

“Then come on, Swan. Get one of the t-shirts from the closet, and you can do the trim work.”

“That’s the worst part.”

“But you’re so damn good at it, and my hand dexterity is not the same as yours.”

Emma rolls her eyes. He’s about to bait her with sympathy, and the two of them both know it. He won’t tell her what happened with his damn hand, not that she’s ever asked, but he will still play that card when he can.

Like he said, his personal life can be his own business when the time calls for it.

“I hate you. You don’t even paint with that hand, and I know you can still use a roller with it. You painted my apartment.”

“Semantics.”

Painting ends up being exactly what she needs. Killian’s got the radio blaring, the air conditioner on, wallpaper already removed, and she gets lost in focusing on making sure the white trim stays where it needs to be while Killian rolls blue up and down the walls. They don’t talk except for a few words here and there, and it helps Emma forget that she should be in the dark in her apartment eating ice cream or rage running on the beach or something.

That fish wallpaper really was horrible.

When they’re finished, they close up the paint cans, wash the brushes, and then Killian turns up the volume of the door alarm so he can hear if a customer comes in while they’re upstairs in his apartment eating lunch.

She really has to crash his place more often if he’s going to feed her, even if it’s just some leftover pasta.

It’s better than any leftover pasta she makes.

“Are you and Neal coming over Friday night?”

Emma’s fork hits her bowl, metal clanging against the glass. Killian is staring at her. She can tell. What she’s not going to do is look up at him to see that damn eyebrow raised again. Skipper is definitely sniffing Emma’s leg trying to get food. “I’ll be here. I don’t know about Neal. He’s, uh, possibly working.”

“Working? Since when does he work?”

That’s the question of the century.

“He works at the dealership. You know that.”

“I heard he was working with his dad again.”

She’s going to choke on her pasta. “Possibly.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“For fuck’s sake, Killian. What is this? An interrogation? Neal has his own life, and I’m not in charge of him.”

It’s Killian’s turn to drop his fork to his bowl, and she finally takes the opportunity to look up at him. No part of him is phased by her outburst. “Look, I’m no upstanding citizen, but you and I both know that you don’t like when Neal works with his dad because the entire town knows they are probably selling stolen goods they don’t register. There’s no way you’re okay with that since I have heard you rant about it time and time again.”

She’s not.

Not in the slightest.

There were too many times, too many close calls, where she almost ended up behind bars simply trying to survive by stealing Pop Tarts and small packets of peanut butter, and Neal and his dad have made a living by selling stolen goods and overcharging poor old women who think that the necklace they find is just like the one their husband gave them fifty years ago.

It usually is.

But Neal’s dad is so damn smart about it all that no one ever has any proof that he’s behind the thefts and the coverups.

Or he’s got the police in his pocket. That’s more likely even when there’s good guys like David on the force. He handles traffic stops, bar brawls, and chairs left overnight on the beach, so that’s not exactly the same jurisdiction.

How the hell did Neal fall back into it?

Probably the buy his mistress gifts. He was always a fan of that when they first got together.

Or maybe he did actually get that money from his legitimate job.

It’s not her business anymore. It’s not her life. He can do whatever the fuck he wants and fuck whoever he wants. He was already doing those things anyways.

“As far as I know, Neal is still just selling cars,” Emma lies. “Why are we getting together Friday night anyways? I have to get up early Saturday to make up for the lost time at work, so it better be more than pizza and beer.”

“I have an inclination that Liam is proposing to Elsa that afternoon, and then we’re having a party here afterward. He hasn’t said, though. I’ve just seen the ring in his sock drawer and he suggested a party.”

Oh wow. That’s…that’s really happening. Emma’s kind of fallen down on keeping up with Elsa, and she makes a mental note to text her. Elsa’s always been good at letting Emma fade in and out, and she appreciates people like that, especially since Emma doesn’t always want to hang out at the apartment with Liam.

There’s nothing wrong with him, but she gets this weird feeling that he can’t stand her. But he loves Elsa, truly loves her, and that’s all that matters. It’s not like she’s the one dating Liam.

“No shit. They’re getting engaged?”

“They do love each other. Engagements tend to happen.”

“Yeah, yeah I guess they do. So, what are we having to eat that night?”

“Pizza and beer, but everyone’s got to bring their own beer.”

Emma flicks a piece of pasta at Killian, and the idiot manages to catch it in his mouth before obnoxiously chewing it with an obnoxiously wide grin on his face.

“We’re also going to have cake. Liam put in an order at the bakery.”

“Why do you know so much about your brother’s life?”

“He’s not very sly.” Killian smiles, his eyes crinkling. He really needs to shave. His beard has gotten a little too long. “So, you’re coming?”

“Yeah,” Emma sighs, “I’ll be there if you buy my wine.”

“I’ve already got it stocked, darling.”

-/-

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#your wonder under summer skies #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan

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