#& i rather reply to things in the right mental capacity

[eggymf-archived]

of paper planes and wildflowers; 10

ft. ominis gaunt with f!reader (series)

chapter warnings: mild angst, mentions of kidnapping, trauma, not proofread, unedited

chapter summary: your denial towards your heart's desire is quite a stubborn thing to get rid of, but it’s only a matter of time before you fully cave in.

word count: 4.8k

a/n: can't believe i'm halfway through this fic series. also i apologize for the huge delay. it feels like a criminal offense not updating this series for 2 weeks, but i was dipping my toe in other forms of writing plus i have a raging smut brain rot to quell. anyways, enjoy! :D

main masterlist || series masterlist || AO3 

It was just another typical day as a wee fifth year, doing perfectly normal student things. At least, that's what you hoped for the entirety of the duration of the day. The past few days hadn't been particularly forgiving towards you physically, mentally, and perhaps emotionally: and no, it wasn't the extra workload that your other classmates were bemoaning about every class dismissal, nor was it about anything outlandish like Peeves juggling small cauldrons and chucking it at random unsuspecting students in the Potions Classroom.

The sole reason was utterly mundane if you were to fully think about it. Not just that, but it was rather silly that you still get perplexed even at a mere afterthought of a certain blonde-haired male with the most intriguingly beautiful misty eyes alongside his alluring, multifaceted nature.

Ominis Gaunt. 

Ominis “Romped-You-In-The-Library” Gaunt.

Ominis “Broom-Closet-Extraordinaire” Gaunt.

Ominis “Almost-Caught-by-Brattleby” Gaunt.

Ominis “Pervert-Vanquisher” Gaunt.

Ominis “Russ’-New-Owner” Gaunt.

Ominis “Screams-Mid-Flight-in-a-Broom” Gaunt

And the most recent one, much to your sheer delight, confusion, and panic.

Ominis “Vesper-aka-Your-Pen-Pal” Gaunt.

That note that you had gotten from the kitchens has absolutely plagued your poor mind and heart. Despite it being nearly two full days ever since you received it, you were still in shambles, unable to wrap your pretty little head around the truth that had been slapped right into your face. You hadn't replied to his letter just yet for good measure, but you planned to once you had the mental capacity to do so. In fact, you were taking everything to mind, using your signature Ravenclaw trait and skills of rationality and analysis to do its wonders of problem-solving for the best outcome.

But would brain-oriented tactics effectively help when it comes to matters of the heart? Yes. Would you be happy with the conclusions? Probably not. Yes — you were a woman of logic and reasoning, and whatever your answers were based on your keen analysis and takeaways were much more reliable than your whims and emotions.

Oh, when will this madness ever cease?

It was a war zone within you, and everything was on fire. As usual, you were overcomplicating things for yourself. In your defense, however, you can't help it: your mind clearly says no, but your heart says yes was something that you couldn't rely on due to its fickle nature, yet it must be taken into consideration to make a sound choice.

“Seriously? Losing your marbles over a boy? You should be embarrassed.” 

Your self-assured inner voice continuously chides you within your head, your eyes fixated on that particular Slytherin student with that gorgeous face slicked back blonde hair who was fast asleep on the cold marble floors of the Defense Against the Dark Arts Tower. Garreth and Natsai were chatting away while you kept stealing glances at the slumbering male on the first floor, pensive.

Yes, this was allegedly the boy who has been plaguing your mind day and night for the past few months. While you were in a state of inner turmoil with your own mental gymnastics and beating muscle's theatrics, he was just there, blissfully taking a nap like an innocent stray kitten. Though you have to admit: his ability to sleep anywhere was rather impressive. 

Do you dare to think that he actually looks adorable being curled up into a ball like that? Yes No.

You felt an arm wrap itself around your neck, trapping you in a headlock. Garreth shook his head, tutting.

“Blimey, you have it pretty bad for him, don’t you?” he sighs in jest, looking at the Gaunt from a distance. Natsai smirks, leaning against the marble balustrade while crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow towards you.

“You’ve been staring at him for quite a while,” she points out with a rather teasing tone. “You might as well take a picture instead of pretending not to look at him this whole time.”

You felt heat rush to your face, groaning in response at your two closest friends who merely chortled at your plight. Your mind, however, was rooted in a different place — you were in no mood to make your usual retorts with how swarmed your thoughts were. His penned words were in a constant loop, echoing throughout every small crevice of your brain alongside the monologues that you have vehemently tried to eradicate in hopes of stunting the growth of this budding romance, all to no avail.

“Thank you for not believing the rest of them.”

“Sometimes, I wish I did — perhaps it'll be easier for my own mind, body, and soul, but I could never do such a thing.”

“I never expected someone else to see me for who I truly am.”

“I can't turn back now. Choosing ignorance despite knowing the truth is a grave sin to my own moral beliefs — and especially towards you, a diamond in the rough; a person who deserves more than what he has been given.”

Your kindness astounds me, and I’m forever grateful that you exist in my life.

“I wish I had your bravery. It’s never easy to voice out your feelings, yet you do it with such grace and sincerity. If only I could openly reciprocate the ever-growing feelings I have for you. It would mean the world to me, but for now, I shall voice out my heartfelt gratitude to the cosmos — for granting me this privilege of being in your company, even if it’s only for a little while.”

A chilling wave of sadness washed over you, snapping you out of your own whimsical thoughts and slightly deflating at the reality that had dawned upon you once more, leaving a bitter taste on your tongue.

This was wrong. All of it is wrong.

Self-righteousness paired with the obsession to conformity was a blight on one's identity, and your own mother was a living example of that statement. She was uptight and adamant about following the traditions of her adopted family. Perhaps the fact that she wasn’t related to them by blood had caused her to develop a rather crippling mindset of constantly needing to prove herself. She would be livid to find out that you’ve been “fraternizing” with the “enemy” — a Gaunt.

The Robards were known to produce both Aurors and members of the Wizengamot throughout the entirety of their family history. They’ve always walked on the path of light, and just like your poor mother, you had no choice but to comply with their “standards”. Within honor and prestige lies a form of imprisonment: as a member of the family, it was your duty to protect the house’s reputation alongside its members. No matter how much you disagreed with their outdated ways, there would always be a fragment of you that yearns for their approval — a shackle that you might not possibly be able to free yourself from.

At the end of the day, the little girl within you merely yearns to hear the right words: to be assured that she's not messing everything up for the umpteenth time.

Yet amidst the dramatic angst of your bitter situation, you find yourself thinking of him fondly regardless, recalling the little things that he had done for you throughout the past few months. Every letter, gift, gesture, banter, and touch; the slight roughness of his hands, the softness of his lips, the honesty of his expressions, and the warmth of his embrace — everything.

Unfortunately for you, the truth always gets increasingly harder to avoid the longer you deny the desires of your poor maiden heart. The more you get to know him, the deeper you sink into the quagmire of romance. 

Yet here you were, going against your beliefs for the umpteenth time.

Defense Against the Dark Arts Classes was about to start in a matter of minutes, yet you felt sluggish. For some odd reason, you didn't want to attend it: there was a feeling of dread that you had all of a sudden, which consumed your gut rather unpleasantly. Meanwhile, Ominis was still sound asleep, utterly in bliss. 

Perhaps a few minutes of tardiness won't be that big of a deal.

“You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up,” you informed Garreth and Natsai, who were heading up to the stairwell leading to Professor Hecat’s classroom. You approached his curled-up form, fighting a cheeky little grin that threatened to break out from your lips at the sight. You furrowed your brows, clearing your throat to diffuse the growing embarrassment within your chest.

“Wonder why Sallow isn’t with him…” you pondered, kneeling beside him and gently pinching his cheek, wiggling the flesh slightly.

“Wake up...”

Snore.

“Wake up.”

…

Sigh.

A ghost of a smirk appears on his lips, which doesn't slip under your observant gaze. You frowned, pinching his cheek slightly harder this time, causing his eyelids to snap open out of the sudden tugging pain.

“OW!”

“Classes start in around five minutes. Be thankful I even woke you up,” you huff, a light pink dusting your face before standing up and heading off to the classroom. Ominis rubbed his now reddened cheek, getting up and tailing after you with a small smile on his lips. 

The both of you arrived in the classroom just in time while Professor Hecat was rearranging the desks within the classroom. At the center of the classroom lies an all-familiar old cupboard covered with grimy-looking mirror panels. Its knob rattled loudly, the being within it eager to be set free. Weary eyes stared at the mysterious cupboard and your classmates glanced at each other with worried expressions.

“Alright, settle down,” Professor Hecat shushes the murmurs of the students around her, beginning the lesson for the day. “Does anybody know what is within this cupboard?”

Several students raise their hands. She picks Cressida Blume.

“A Boggart. A non-being who is capable of shapeshifting into your worst fear. They commonly thrive in dark places such as shadowy corners, under the bed, or within cupboards.”

“Excellent. Points to Gryffindor. Your task for today is to learn the counter-spell for such creatures: Ridikkulus. To cast the spell, you are required to concentrate on the humorous form you desire it to change into. Remember: Boggarts are defeated by laughter, so steel your resolve. Form a line,” the former Unspeakable instructed. 

For the first time, you made your way to the back of the queue. You knew exactly what the Boggart was going to turn into, and you dreaded it with every fiber of your being.

“Calm down. It’s been years. It can’t harm you, alright? Relax.”

You fiddled with your thumb, biting your bottom lip as you desperately mustered up your courage to face what was awaiting you. Inhaling slow, lungful breaths, you tried whatever you could to quell the ever-growing dread that grew more and more unbearable by the passing second. Everyone else’s attempts were smooth sailing, and the line was getting shorter and shorter. 

Soon enough, it was finally your turn.

You were beyond frightened despite this being a simple practical exercise; your throat felt rather constricted as you gripped your wand with shaky hands, completely unprepared for the possible psychological effects of what you were about to witness. Professor Hecat gave you a grim look, noticing the quiver of your frame. Your usual form was definitely off, and as someone aware of your history both as a student and as a victim of that particular tragedy, she knew exactly what the Boggart will be turning into once she unlocks the cupboard door. She walked beside you, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder before stepping back. 

“Wands at the ready!” 

With a sharp inhale and a tightened grip on the handle.

The knob turned open, and the door creaked open. The faint rattling of chains was heard as the creature advanced forward. A shackled, dirtied foot of a young teenager stepped out of the large cupboard, and it finally bared its current appearance to the entire class.

Simon (L/N) — your brother: to be more precise, your deceased elder brother.

His boyish, teenage self was just as how you remembered it to be: tousled black hair, and a lithe frame. His limbs each had its own dirtied manacles and his usual tidy clothing was stained with mud and was slightly tattered at the edges. Grazes littered his legs and arms, and his hazel eyes were devoid of any life, staring at you blankly like a mere Inferius before it swoops in for the kill. 

Your heart sank, fear coursing through your veins as it approached you. Color was rapidly draining from your complexion. The sight before you momentarily brought you back to a specific painful memory — within a locked cage in a dark space together with him, with you being held captive as well. Tears welled up in your eyes, your knees eventually caving in as you collapsed onto the floor, dragging yourself further away from the looming amortal before you. Its fingers outstretched towards your shuddering form, a maniacal grin forming on its face.

“Depulso!”

The Boggart was sent flying back into the cupboard, the door bolting itself shut. Professor Hecat lowered her wand while you remained seated on the floor in cold sweat, your eyes glued onto the large furniture that kept rattling until it finally ceased its attempt of escape. Garreth and Natsai immediately rushed to your side, helping you back up on your feet. 

Horror was still within your being: your breathing was erratic, your pupils constricted, and the beating of your heart was hammering painfully within your chest. You wanted to throw up, feeling absolutely sick in the stomach at what had just transpired.

Without warning, you bolted towards the exit of the classroom out of shame and fright.

“Wait!”

“Miss (L/N)!”

As you ran out of the classroom, Ominis quickly got up on his feet and followed you without a second thought, ignoring both Professor Hecat's and Sebastian’s calls. Natsai was about to run after you as well but was immediately held back by Garreth, who shook his head at her. 

The heels of your boots clacked against the marble floors as you sped through the nearly empty hallways of the Defense Against the Dark Arts Tower with glassy eyes. Ominis chased after you with a look of pure concern on his face.

He may not have seen the form of your Boggart, but he was definitely sure that it had triggered a horrible memory.

He called out your surname, his wand held out with the tip blinking red much faster than usual. You slowly stopped, heaving while clutching your chest, propping yourself up at the nearby marble balustrade. Ominis gulped, just as breathless and flushed red with beads of perspiration forming on his temple. 

Tucking his wand away, he gently places his hands on your arms, engulfing you in his embrace. You whimpered, allowing yourself to sink within his inviting warmth, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face within his chest. He rests his chin upon your crown, his thumb rubbing your shoulder in hopes of further soothing you into calmness.

“Shhh. It's alright. You're safe now.”

Your breaths began to steady itself after a while as you inhaled his scent. The both of you soon parted the moment you felt much more grounded. He holds his hand out, waiting for yours to grab it.

“Let's go?” he asks softly.

Without the slightest idea of what he had up his sleeve, you decided to acquiesce to his offer. A smile graced his face, and you let him lead you. Much to your surprise, however, instead of heading back into the Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom, the both of you were headed to the door leading to the Pungent Passage. 

“Gaunt, this isn't the way back to the classroom, you know…”

“...Yes, I'm aware of that.”

“So why are we going to the West Tower?”

Ominis kept his lips pursed, not wanting to divulge his little impromptu plan, opting to give you a small smirk instead before looking away.

“...By the way, you’re still holding my hand,” you pointed out while wiggling your fingers, expecting him to loosen his hold. Much to your surprise, he stopped walking to adjust your fingers, intertwining his fingers with yours in a much more secure grip. Warmth began to creep up your face as he held his work up closer to your visage.

“Yes, I am.”

The trip towards the West Tower was a rather enjoyable one despite the silence, with the both of you running through the Pungent Passageway as fast as you both could while holding your breaths, not letting go of each other’s hands. Upon reaching the exit, Ominis pushes the gargantuan doors open, dragging you out with him into the cold outdoors before pushing the door shut. There weren't any other students outside, much to his relief. 

“I figured that Hecat's classroom would be the last place you'd ever want to return to after what happened,” he shrugs nonchalantly, finally explaining his actions. “I'm assuming your Boggart wasn't a pleasant sight. It's not like you to be that frightened.”

“... Yes. You're right. I…” you sighed, your words trailing off. A gentle, understanding smile graced his features.

“You know, I think this would be a good time to venture out of the castle grounds.” he ponders out loud. You tilted your head in bemusement at his suggestion.

“To where exactly?”

“Anywhere but here, of course. Maybe Feldcroft?” 

A small grin slowly cracked itself onto your face.

“... So you're inviting me to skip classes with you. Is that it?” you chuckled in wry amusement.

“Surely you don’t have any objections to that?” he asked with a subtle hint of mischief while raising an eyebrow.

“You do know that we might get detention for this, right?”

“So? Old news, really. I could hardly care less serving it together again if that’s what you're worried about,” he scoffs while you snickered in response.

“Is that another invitation?” 

“Perhaps. Is it?” he retorts with a smug grin.

With a giggle escaping your lips, you brought out your wand, pointing it towards the direction of the Ravenclaw Tower.

“Accio, Aeromancer!”

The both of you waited, and a seemingly tiny dot from the Ravenclaw Tower’s roof deck began to grow larger as it zipped through the air, flying to its summoner. Your broom hovers before you, and you grab its handle, mounting on the seat. Ominis does the same, placing himself right behind you. He leaned forward and grabbed the handle, his torso flush against your back. You gulped, taking in a deep breath before stomping hard on the ground, taking off. 

Just this one day, you decided to spare him the horrors of your reckless flying. 

The both of you leisurely flew in the air, feeling the cool nip of the wintry winds against both your flushed faces, unexpectedly enjoying each other's company. It was a sight to behold truly: the landscape as far as your eyes could see was covered in a soft, powdery, glittery blanket of snow. You relished the moment in silent glee, feeling the warmth of his being right against your back, biting your lower lip slightly in hopes of suppressing a giddy little giggle from escaping your lips. 

Ominis wasn't that different from you either — in fact, he was enjoying this close proximity with absolutely zero shame within his system. A cheeky grin was threatening to slip past his normally calm and collected expression, clearly not wanting this moment of sheer elation to end. It was truly a blessing: having you so close to him with strands of your hair fluttering about and lightly tickling his face. He sighs in contentment, enjoying the rest of the ride until the both of you reach your destination.

Feldcroft was in its usual quiet state with most of its residents in the comfort of their own little cottages, keeping themselves warm by their own cozy little fireplace. The two of you landed in a nearby clearing, dismounting immediately as soon as your feet hit the ground. Ominis instinctively intertwined his fingers with yours once again with his other hand gripping his wand to navigate around the area.

“Say, Gaunt. Why exactly are we in Feldcroft out of all places?”

“Thought it might be best for you to just unwind for a bit. Plus, there’s someone that I do want you to meet,” Ominis hums as the both of you approach a particular cottage with several training dummies on standby. “I think the both of you will like each other's company.”

“Really? Who?” you asked with piqued interest.

“My chosen family,” he smiles before he raps on the wooden door. A lump formed in your throat at this, your cheeks turning a deeper shade of red and your eyes widened in shock. The door soon opened, revealing a brunette-haired girl with her hair tied in a low bun, her eyes glimmering with delight at the sight of both of you at her doorstep.

Anne Sallow — Sebastian Sallow's twin sister. A look of curiosity was evident on your face: rumors had said that she has contracted some debilitating illness hence her absence this entire school year, but not many details about that matter had been divulged.

“Ominis, what a surprise!” she exclaimed before turning towards you with a warm, welcoming smile. “And you brought her along too!”

“It's nice to see you again, Anne. I apologize if we came at a rather unexpected time,” you sheepishly said.

“It's no trouble, really. I quite like having visitors around. Come on in! Uncle Solomon won't be back for a while, so do make yourselves at home.”

You entered the cottage first, followed by Ominis and Anne. The brown-eyed girl nudged the pale-skinned male lightly, whispering in a hushed tone.

“Psst! Ominis, is she….” Anne trails off with an underlying teasing tone evident within her voice. A rosy hue crept up his cheeks and he cleared his throat to lessen his bashfulness, giving Anne a slight nod. The brunette bit her lip slightly at the response, suppressing a squeal of delight as she excitedly approached you, who was currently seated in the dining area.

It was a pleasant session filled with laughter and stories; the three of you partaking in the sandwiches and tea that you had voluntarily conjured. Ominis hummed, closing his eyes in a relaxed fashion with his legs crossed, sipping his tea as both you and Anne discussed many different topics in a rather animated way, ranging from Anne's shenanigans back when she was still in Hogwarts, to her current plights and woes. 

It had been a while ever since he had heard Anne this uplifted, and it most certainly had a positive effect on you as well, much to his sigh of relief. 

What warmed his heart the most was that you clicked with Anne so effortlessly. It felt like you were the missing puzzle piece that belonged and fitted into his life perfectly. While listening and occasionally hopping onto the conversation when prompted, he had learned several things about you such as your favorites and pet peeves, but it hadn't answered the burning questions he had about what had occurred in class earlier.

As much as the three of you hated to part ways, you and Ominis had to go back to the castle by nightfall, thus the both of you bid your farewell to the brunette-haired female. 

“Write to me, will you? I'd love to keep in touch,” Anne requests with hopeful eyes, clutching your hands in hers.

“Of course, I will. Can't have you feeling all lonely here,” you grinned while she giggles.

“Thank you for stopping by. Please visit whenever you can.” 

“Of course. You have my word.”

As soon as the wooden door closed shut, you turned to Ominis while biting your lip in hesitation.

“Gaunt, let's walk for a bit,” you requested, much to his surprise. You cast your gaze downwards to his gloved hand before ripping your eyes away from it, clenching your fists to contain yourself. The both of you walked in silence, the faint crunching of snow audible beneath your feet at every step. Inhaling a lungful of air, your lips parted.

“Thank you… For bringing me out today.”

He smiles at his, a faint shade of pink creeping up to his cheeks.

“...It was a pleasure, truly,” Ominis chuckled softly, to which you responded with a rather diffident smile. “I certainly hope it alleviated your mood.”

“Oh, it definitely did. Anne is truly a darling. It's just that…” you trailed off, slowing the pace of your footsteps down. “... I can't exactly run away from this fear that easily.”

“Would lending my ear ease your thoughts? I can listen to your woes if you'd like.”

“Then... Can you keep another secret for me?”

“Consider it done. Go on.”

You walk towards a large, fallen log, deciding to sit on it while Ominis leans against a nearby tree. Releasing your bated breath, you began to tell him your recollections.

“Perhaps you're familiar with the kidnapping case from the Robard estate then? The one that killed Lawrence Robard?” you asked.

Ominis ponders, racking through his brain.

“Lawrence Robard? The Auror?” 

“Yes, him. He’s a relative — my uncle, to be precise,” you smile sadly. “He was a great man. Dove right into a dark wizard’s hideout to save me and my brother. But Simon… Well…”

A pregnant silence ensued as your words trailed off in the wintry winds, your sorrow-filled orbs gazing at the snow-laden trees from a distance. Ominis crosses his arms with his wand still in hand, a frown visible on his visage.

“Your brother… He’s your Boggart, isn’t he?” 

A melancholic smile curls upon your lips, glancing at him with a rather impressed look.

“You know, I'm quite thankful that you're incredibly astute. Saves me the trouble of explaining everything myself,” you chuckled bitterly. “But yes. Simon is my Boggart. Survivor's guilt, I suppose? He took an Unforgivable Curse for me, and I've never forgiven myself for his death ever since.”

His heart sank at the revelation, casting his unseeing gaze downwards.

“... I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. You've tremendously helped me today, and you deserve my thanks,” you reassured. You grabbed a handful of snow, mindlessly molding it into the shape of a ball as you continued on.

“It's just rather frustrating that this relapse happened in the middle of winter. I'd normally console myself by picking all sorts of flowers. Simon and I loved the outdoors, and we'd often make little flower chains for our mum when we were children,” you explained, recalling the fond memory of your childhood before everything went completely awry.

Ominis hums in response, pointing his wand at a random pile of snow nearby. A small pile of snow levitates into the air, which then forms itself into the shape of a daisy flower crown. The snow-made crown hovered above your head before it was dropped rather unceremoniously, instantly getting destroyed at the top of your head. Your face scrunched at the sudden coldness that hit your skin, looking at the pale-skinned male in gleeful amusement.

“Is this your way of consoling me, Gaunt?” you giggled, brushing the bits of snow off your head and face while a blush rose to his face out of mild embarrassment. 

“Well, it was an attempt, I suppose. It was a lot better in my head, though. Hold on, let me try again,” he chuckles sheepishly, scooping more snow into his gloved palms while a mildly teasing laugh erupted from you.

The pile of fluffy snow began compressing itself to form a solid, single rose, which drifted towards you. You beamed, gently grasping the snow rose into your hands, marveling at its daintiness and intricacy. 

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered before trailing your eyes to him once again. He had his eyes shut and a smug, playful smirk plastered on his strikingly handsome face. His arms were crossed again, leaning back against the tree trunk, enjoying the pleasant silence. 

It was supposed to be a depressing day after everything that had transpired, yet here you were, seated on a log amidst the snow with the man you hadn't planned on getting along with in your wildest dreams. The icy walls of your resolve were slowly melting away, being reduced to nothing but a puddle thanks to the burning inferno of your ever-growing feelings towards him growing wilder and wilder.

His kindness, consideration, astuteness, playfulness… Everything about him made your heart race.

In your eyes, time ceased to exist — the world stilling as everything else except him falls into a pit of irrelevance. You gaze upon him with ardent longing and admiration, blatantly disregarding the boundaries you had rebelliously trespassed in the name of your heart's desires. Ominis opened his unseeing eyes, feeling your burning stare towards him.

“You do know that I can feel you staring, right?” he asks in his usual teasing manner. You opened your mouth to retort your typical answer to his jest, but a lump lodged within your throat, almost as if you were being prevented from saying something so blatantly insincere.

And thus, for the first time, you couldn't bring yourself to deny that statement anymore.

< chapter 9: uncontrollably fond

chapter 11: the duality of man >

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[yuelun]

𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑.

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: Manon, but I go by Sae! 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍: She/her. 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌: Discord. I'll deal with Tumblr IMs if people prefer it as I understand not everyone is comfortable sharing their Discord right away. I just find Tumblr IMs to be infinitely impractical, I miss the ability to directly reply/quote previous messages and such, and I often type way too much, so you can surely imagine! Any way, I'm easy enough with Discord, if you ask, the chance is high that you'll get it. So don't hesitate to ask! 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒: My ever dearest Guizhong, and Yelan is over here. 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄: Throughout Tumblr? Joining the Genshin RPC, actually. I've said this about a previous fandom of mine, but it's been about a year since I first entered this one with Guizhong (originally on my multi for about a month), and it's been nothing short of my best and genuinely most peaceful experience in many years. Usually I see fandom problems arise well before the one-year mark, but here it's been quite calm and also, the closest to feeling that old 'community' concept again. We're all here to have a good time, we engage across the board pretty well, and it's just, it's been really nice. I struggled immensely to be on Tumblr for a good two years prior to coming here, despite the best efforts of friends, and I think it's simply because no fandom has quite felt like this one. None of them ever really succeeded in giving me what this one has. You guys are magnificent, never change.

𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐒: You've called salt into your life with this one, be ready: this trend of privately or publicly guilt-tripping people into interacting with them ('I guess no one's interested...' or 'guess I'll go then...') or even for interacting with duplicates of their muse instead. This should never be a thing I'll cut people like that out of my life and off my dashboard as quickly as I breathe for guilting, and I’ll always motivate people to do the same. There is nothing healthy, remotely positive or forgivable about that kind of behavior, but I see it happening very often still. Are people not interacting with you? Go after them with all the fire of motivation that you possess, and if you don’t have that? Then the muse you have before you may not the one for you. Honestly, I think it's just that if you have passion for your muse, then you won’t let yourself get demotivated, you won’t let things hold you back, because you’ll have a spirit that can’t really be quelled in any capacity. Are duplicates intimidating? Then either find your way to shy away from them or let that insecurity drive you; let it make you better, let it drive you to improve (mentally). I’m not saying anyone who experiences insecurity is a lesser writer, not by any means— but let it make you even better than you already are.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒: I find myself drawn to specific elements or concepts within humanity (or in Guizhong's case, the exact opposite) that are either unusual among the status quo or intriguing.to me personally. I do know that I've always rather fiercely tried to avoid characters that are very reminiscent of me as an individual. Though on some level, there is usually a trait that I understand on a fundamental level in some way or another, the nature in which it's presented is usually simply is different, however. So for example with Yelan, I can talk about this inherent concept of loneliness that is incredibly different from what we consider to be the norm, I've understood the concept incredibly well throughout various parts of my life, but never in the way that it was presented with her whatsoever. And in terms of Guizhong, it's her curiosity to figure everything out, but as a god who by default, does not function in a similar capacity to mortals whatsoever, it's incredibly interesting (and different) for me to see. 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: The former, but the latter usually will also either be based on a mentioned plot, or I'll turn it into a plot! 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒: I always inevitably end up getting wordy, but I can start shorter as to establish a sort of writing comfort and/or flow with the other person, especially if you're a new RP partner of mine. I kind of release the reigns to you. 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄: This used to be in the dead of night, and I'm still trying to establish when I write best now. 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄: Generally, nope!

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘: @basbousah 🩶 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆: I'm unsure who's done this and hasn't yet, so if I forgive you and you've done it already, just ignore this! @spiderwarden @immobiliter @avaere @yanwangye @arlquin (please tell Scooby she's also tagged 🤭) @apocryphis @narvvhal @lunaetis @sagnaevi @sortilegii @starwardsword @reginrokkr @astrxl-finale @petrokhelidon @luzofstars @galvanic-duelist and whoever else would like to do it, just say I tagged you! I'm always happy to read these.

#[ et cetera. ] we think of human life as like a lantern that's lit one minute and extinguished the next. but are we adepti so different? #[ me casually tagging this with that tag. me after: slowly dies. ] #[ and as per usual; i can't shut up. so my thing is always; /always/ long. it'll never change guys. ]

[oh-my-damn]

Hi! Feel free to ignore since this ask IS about CE.

I am absolutely not asking for an opinion on the Lonesome blog or the mods because honestly they’ve been around for ages and have been through a lot in the CE fandom especially recently so more power to them for still sticking around.

Just wanted to know what you thought about the engagement news they’ve received.

I’m done with CE. Have been for ages, but I’m at a point now where even coming across him casually via social media makes me say “yuck” out loud so I’m not here as a fan or even as a former fan or anything. Mostly just here to watch what happens and see it all unfold in a morbid curiosity way.

I appreciate your insights on this topic but also appreciate that your answers and replies are emotional and mental labor on your part so don’t want you to engage if you don’t want to, but if you have the capacity or feel like it would love to see where your heads at with the fact that they’re allegedly engaged and will be married before the end of the year.

Well tbh I am very 50/50 on the rumor itself

I am friends with Lonesome and the mods and know they have received legit info from legit sources in the past.

However, one thing I will say is that those sources have always been rather "positive" and has helped push out attention for PR-like stunts. Like the papwalk. And the video recently.

They were sent out very specifically to Lonesome because theyre staying neutral in the debate often, much alike Nancy, whereas a lot of the rest of us are either PR/Real/For/Against. Lonesome has also been around for over 10 years which means it would obviously be the blog to go to if you want to push some info out on behalf of someone.

I find it interesting that confirmation would come out to a blog. I also found it interesting that info regarding the papwalk was sent to said blog ahead of time.

So I will agree with Lonesome on this; take it with a grain of salt.

And then I will say something that I know they will disagree with (but we're still friends despite not agreeing on this, which everyone else should really learn from in this stupid fandom lmao); just because this is pushed out or engagement actually happens, does not mean it isnt PR. In fact, the info being "leaked" to a big blog on tumblr instead of anywhere else right now might actually be a sign that it is. It is info that they want out there, to push a narrative, and leaking it will do that. Just like the other info that was "leaked".

We never get leaks about the rumors of him hooking up with interns or having girls around all spring last year on set. But we somehow always get it when its something he needs "support" for or that pushes a specific narrative.

So yeah 🤷🏻‍♀️

#mandy answers #bestie lonesome #chris evans #alba baptista #engagement rumor

[rinhaler]

Hey, I wanted to ask about that plagiarism. I went on ao3 and commented under that chapter that this is a plagiarism. When I was doing that the work was already changed and tho the fragments that previously were nearly identical (basing on your screens) were gone, it was not hard to find other that were also similar, just formated differently.

The author of that work replied (harshly) not adressing any of the accusations, rather they got ironical and at the end asked me to leave their space. Like, the internet is public...anyway.

In my comment I added that it might get deleted and it did. The whole thread got.

I know that it was your work that got plagiarised but I got involved because the matter was simply infuriating from the perspective of a reader. I was thinking about going back and commenting again but if I will get deleted once again there is no point in pouring my energy into it.

I just feel that it's unfair to anyone who reads that ao3 author. They did something wrong but they keep resolving the matters behind the public's eyes as to not damage their image and narrative. Is it really okay? There is also no proof they did not plaiarise in other works and that they will not do it in the future.

Sorry for bringing it out again. I just wanted to share those thoughts and ask about yours.

Hi love thank you for contacting me. Obviously plagiarism is terrible and I'm really upset that this has happened again and my heart goes out to anyone else who's had their work stolen too. It's really stressful and unfair and it's even worse if the person in question is hostile or straight up denies their wrong doing.

I didn't read their entire series, obviously it's a huge multichap and I just don't have the time or energy to spend on doing something like that right now. So if there is more of my own work or anyone else's in that series I'd of course like to know about it.

The way it has resolved for me is a positive outcome. I'm really giving the benefit of the doubt that the rest of the writing is this particular authors work and they just had a lapse in judgement. As I said, I don't have the energy to read this entire story to check otherwise. If there's evidence of more plagiarism, I would like to see it so that I can address it once again.

But as it stands this instance is currently over. And I'm grateful it hasn't dragged out for ages like last time I had to deal with plagiarism.

I do appreciate wholeheartedly that people are willing to fight my corner and help me with these matters, to make sure the right thing comes to fruition. I will always be grateful for that because without that support it would be so much harder to get anywhere.

I'm only aware of the poster stealing from me, I've not seen or heard otherwise. And I honestly don't love drama or getting into huge arguments or public disputes, I don't have the mental capacity for it. I wholeheartedly just want to move on and forget about it for now. If things change and come to light that more of my work has been stolen, I'm prepared to fight for what's right again. But for now, I just want to forget about it.

We talked it out, she apologised profusely. The writing has been changed and the wattpad version has been removed entirely. So for now, and hopefully forever, the matter is closed 💕

#💌 — luxe mail #tw plagiarism #tw discourse

[rin-and-jade]

Things you should know about us!

We welcome both systems and singlets in this space. We provide content which includes information for those who are new, daily life of being a system, how to manage living plurally, problem solving daily system struggles, and bring awareness of a specific thing if any. This blog is operated by two separate systems conjoining forces! (and one behind the scenes, too)

Representing Jade Everson from the Chronos System, and Rin from the Offline System, and our buddy from Chaos Emeralds System, who will be doing all the stuffs here. It is a pleasure to join the fellow people of this community at last. We also decided to create a better community together alongside @multiplicity-positivity ! Contributing in ways we can, allied together, to spread more words to those in needs, now doubled. Go visit them for a daily dose of positivity <3

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What do we do?

Jade is more active and mainly posts about validation/relatable content as well as useful tips that could benefit people, they’re usually the one who is great with practical stuffs and problem solving. Introduction right here

Rin is rather busy, though contributes posts about personal experiences and stories, she has a lot to talk about that’s basically everything but medical/informative related topics. Introduction right here (CURRENTLY TAKING A HIATUS)

Chaos is a newly recruited member who joined forces with a similar agenda, here to educate and answer question around system matters, they're making posts on psychology and mental health.

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What can i ask here?

We also accept any kinds of questions and will try our best to answer them, even if it's unrelated to this purpose of the blog anyway so you don't need to shy away!!

The asks are guaranteed to be answered under 24hrs with detail and empathy. You’re not the only one in the queue so please be patient! If you have a question that you don’t want it posted, please ask with your current concerns in our DMs. (If it wasn't answered, do not fret, we will get back to you as soon as possible after resolving any issues on hand, which slows down our work!)

Just so everyone knows we have acquired an apprentice to help and practice answering asks. They go by the name of Seraphim Collective!

Also, storytelling and vents are allowed in askbox! Though it depends wether the person wants to post to join in or reply, but rest assured, all of them are read word-to-word so it does makes us a good listener even if it’s not replied. DMs is an alternative way to contact us so there’s no need to worry if it’s rude or etc <3

✎ ─────── ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧

What’s the category of tags?

Jade: Asks - #janswersask | Relatable content - #jsaid | Educational - #jeducates

Rin: none for now

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What kind of server is it in bio?

It is a private server to meet us personally. A place where it mimics the discord DM system as you are assigned to a 1-on-1 chat with a special access role,, with the role you are able to access other personal channels for social. For it's purpose, it is mainly not for social reasons (yet allowed if you want to befriend with us) but for partaking in discussions and bypass the ask box queue. There are also more perks to come with, although limited amount of entry as the server is not built for community.

If you are interested or think it could benefit you, please refrain using the asks and go right to the DMs, you will be notified if we're active!

OPEN = the server is not at full capacity/workload. People can appeal in this moment. CLOSED = the server is at full capacity/workload or other reasons. People cannot appeal and have to wait.

✎ ─────── ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧

Who wrote the post?

To differentiate who posts what, we will be using signatures at the end of the posts.

(check audience target here)

Last updated at 23 march 2024

#did #did community #actually did #did system #dissociative identity disorder

[edibl3-m0nger]

˚* ੈ✩‧₊ edibl3-m0nger's guidelines

new to tumblr roleplaying scene, but i have been roleplaying for about 5+ years. finding my literacy lying the most between literate and advanced literate more. as for genre preferences, i’m truly be open to anything of actual substance (moves the plot, builds our characters, etc.) and pairings, i am truly versatile and comfortable in all pairings.

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i only roleplay with other adults, so if you are under the age of eighteen, it is a hard-no for me. it's nothing discriminatory or a topic of mental maturity, but literal physical maturity and my comfortability.

i'm not that good at canon ships, sorry. there are some times i wish i could but i just can't embody charcters i didn't write for some reason. call it bad writing or laziness but its a nope.

ooc friendships/bonding is something that i value highly during RP. i understand if you're more introverted or have a harder time actually talking, i will respect that. having a tendency to become so enthralled, i love making playlists, pinterest boards, moodboards, i DRAW ffs---let's talk, let's joke and let's build a solid friendship for future RPs together.

telling me you want to leave the rp will not kill me (i promise lol) and letting me know you're bored won't either. a huge thing that goes unbothered in a lot of ooc is communication about ourselves. we are the writers, therefore there are going to be times where we're burnt out or just uninterested in where we are going. if anything, i would rather compromise than lose the partner.

i undertsand that life happens, and expect late replies as a part of roleplaying already. all i ask is that you can understand the same thing and of course, i will throw the 'hey, you okay?' text around four days maybe. it's okay if your reach out text is sooner, i may just not reply right away.

descriptive writing and details, in my opinion, can make or break an RP. all we are doing is writing so please write carefully and thoughtfully, try to be mindful that i can only work with what's given. in third person (prefferably), flesh out the setting, the characters internal environment (emotionally, physically, mentally) and almost set up how you want our characters to interact by giving your character a prompting action/thought.

proper grammar please! the lowercase that i'm currently using i do not use in roleplay and i try my best to spell properly and use punctuaction and ask that you do the same. of course, mistakes can be made and even if english isn't your first language or you're dyslexic, don't be afraid to let me know.

mature (or even darker) themes i have no problem with, but i personally just don't feel like it moves a lot forward. with that being said, sex scenes can be fun to write (especially with the right partners) but writing around abuse in any capacity i tend to avoid.

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˚* ੈ✩‧₊ triggers / hard no's

sexual assault/harassment, incest themes, pedophila, beastiality and related themes, domestic violence, heavy/active substance abuse, ableism and bigoted themes.

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˚* ੈ✩‧₊ abt me ! ˚* ੈ✩‧₊

˚* ੈ✩‧₊ musings ! ˚* ੈ✩‧₊

#discord 1x1 #1x1 rp #roleplay partner ad #rp partner ad #fandomless rp #oc roleplay #roleplay account

[bdkrp]

Rules + RP Etiquette

General:

Literate style preferred; usually writing a minimum of 2-3 paragraphs. ◾ Reply length may reflect rp partner’s, but I always try to provide at least a few sentences to work with, and I’d expect you to do the same <:)

Mostly iconless, but I absolutely won't mind if you use icons.

While not too selective, unintentional bad grammar* and spelling mistakes really kill the mood for me, sorry! * I can’t judge this too hard if English isn’t your first language (it's not mine either), but I will grimace if you type “your” instead of “you’re” and such—

I must ask that you be patient. I have a very varied schedule that keeps me busy, and I burn out easily (the wonders of leaving the house while being an introvert haha).

This is a request more than a rule, but please don't use the Legacy Editor's editable reblogs with me. I use the Beta Editor + XKit and I'd like to keep my threads as neat-looking as possible. You may blame my OCD for that one.

Interactions:

I "only rp with mutuals" in the sense that I’ll follow you if I’m interested in your muse(s)! If you followed me first, it shouldn’t take me more than a week to follow back (sometimes I can't check new blogs right away).

My thoughts on passwords: I may not always send them because when I do, the opposite mun ends up not wanting to interact with me anyway more often than not 😅 (aka a mutuals-only blog who won't follow back even after acknowleging that I sent their password). Rest assured that I've read your rules, just like I expect you to read mine.

Okay with unprompted asks or starters! ◾ You can also drop a message if you’d like to plan a closed rp.

I’m in my 20s. Adult themes only if you’re 21+, please (which would be done on my ns.fw side blog).

I can’t tell how mature things will get in this blog, but either way, I’d still rather have no minors follow me. I legitimately don’t have the mental capacity to parent anyone. Stay safe, kiddos!

DNI if you are a proshipper. I don't need to tell you that a parent doing the do with their child is Not A Good Thing. If you somehow think otherwise, do us both a favour and just block me.

IC Stuff:

Regardless of the franchise or verse, I’ll interpret each rp to take place on its own little timeline unless anything indicates otherwise. ◾ That would mean that I'm okay with your muse doing whatever to mine, so go nuts if you want! (although I'll still appreciate a warning so I know what to expect :'D)

Open for shipping if you are! Although I am multi-ship (see the previous point), and also very open about human x non-human relationships.

If you'd like to turn a meme/prompt into a thread, go ahead! No complains on my part :)

I accept Magic Anons; however, rather than doing that old thing where my character will be in a certain state for x amount of time, I'll write an open starter with the MA as the premise for it.

#ii.

[razieltwelve]

Explanation (Final Rose)

“You look like my mother.” Averia stared at Saviour.

“No.” Her Semblance smiled back. “I look like you... or at least, how you’ll look if you eat all of your vegetables and exercise.”

“...” Averia’s eye twitched as the Mini-Diana on Saviour’s lap chortled. Another Mini-Diana tugged on Averia’s trousers, and she found herself picking her up, much to the envy of the other Mini-Dianas that had clustered around her. Sighing, she beckoned them forward. Some clung onto her back, a pair climbed onto her shoulders, and the rest were content with simply clinging onto her like little monkeys. “And how do you know that?”

“Saviour does not perceive time in a linear manner. In fact, you could say that time means nothing to Saviour, given how easily it can be manipulated.” Saviour shrugged. “Although that’s something you’ll discover for yourself as you unlock more of our powers. At the moment, you’re still on level one.”

“How many levels are there?” Averia asked.

“You’ll want to unlock at least the first three. That should be more than enough to deal with anything you’re likely to encounter. After that, well, it depends on just how far you’re willing to go and how much you’re willing to risk.” Saviour rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Ask your mother about it. She can tell you more.”

“Why can’t you tell me?” Averia asked. “If you can see the future, you should be able to tell me.”

“There are some things you’re better off learning from someone else. Not to mention, this is the first time in history that two bearers of Saviour have been alive at the same time. Learning how your version compares to your mother’s is critically important. If Saviour has stabilised, then one of your children will get it. If that happens, would you rather be over-prepared or under-prepared?”

“Point taken.” Averia massaged her temples. “Wait... if I’m talking to you, aren’t I basically talking to myself?”

“Yep.”

“How can I possibly know more than myself?”

“Allow me to paraphrase here.” Saviour cleared her throat. “Saviour is bullshit, so learn to live with it.”

“...” Averia made a choking sound. “That’s from Aunt Vanille, right?”

“Aunt Serah, actually,” Saviour replied. “And the main problem is one of cognitive capacity. Think of Diana. Why does she eat so much?”

“Because Ragnarok has to make a lot of changes to her body. She’s hungry all the time because her Semblance needs the fuel to do everything. It’s why she’s so small too. Apparently, she’ll probably be normal-sized once she’s older.”

“Exactly. In your case, however, a lot of the groundwork involves altering your cognitive capacity. In particular, how you process and understand information.” Saviour gestured vaguely at the realm around them. “This is a mental representation of your Semblance, but it might as well be an entire universe. And we’ve somehow managed to cram it into your soul. Think about that for a second. And think about what would happen to your brain if you tried to process it all at once.”

“Something bad?”

“As it stands, you are physically incapable of processing all of the information that Saviour could provide. It would either kill you instantly or drive you insane. What we’re doing in here is tidying things up, streamlining things, and steadily increasing what you’re capable of until you can access Saviour’s abilities without suffering so many bad consequences. Just think of the headache you had after you used our powers for the first time. Not fun, was it?”

Averia shook her head. It had honestly felt like her head was going to explode once Saviour’s powers and the boost they provided had faded away.

“Is there anything I have to do then?” Averia asked. “Because Diana has to eat all the time.”

“Saviour uses your soul for fuel. As scary as that sounds, it’s not all that bad. The process becomes increasingly efficient over time and with increased mastery, and the soul does regenerate, albeit more slowly than Aura. What you need to do is turn Saviour on regularly. Stretch your metaphorical legs. Your mother will know what I mean.”

“Is that all?”

“You will probably need to increase your food consumption, but nothing like what your sister does. Think maybe 20% more than before, and even that won’t be an issue for long.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad...”

“And since you’re here,” Saviour said. “How about a tour?”

“A tour?” Averia’s brows furrowed. “How are we going to get around?”

As if in answer to her question, there was a cheerful tooting sound before a miniature train straight from the Gary theme park the family had visited the previous year appeared. A Mini-Diana dressed as a train engineer waved, and another Mini-Diana dressed as a train conductor beckoned.

“...”

Saviour appeared next to Averia and ruffled her hair. “Don’t blame me. This is your soul. You’re the one who ultimately decides how everything looks. If anyone is to blame for a random Gary train appearing, it’s you.”

#final rose #fanfiction #averia yun farron #saviour #mini diana

[pynkhues]

Hi! I am at anon who asked for advice.  my best friend invited me to the social event, being the people pleaser I am I agreed to it. I have the worst social anxiety, and much rather be home than out, especially in a weekday when I have so much homework to do. My friend is the complete opposite. She is a social butterfly and thrives in social situations. this is a work event and I know it’s something that is important to her. I know I’m overthinking but I regret saying yes because now I’m so anxious over it. How do I tell her I don’t really really wanna go ? Should I even back out especially so close to the event . I can’t Help but think that if the roles were reverse, she would do it for me. I feel like a bad friend if I say no, what do you think? Have you ever been in this kind of situation ? 

Hey! I'm so sorry for the late reply, anon, the last couple of days got away from me a bit (my sister and little nephews have come to stay today, and the lead-up to them being here was a bit more hectic than I anticipated, haha), so I might have missed the window for this, and I'm sorry if I have!

But to answer truthfully - - I don't know. It's hard to give advice in approaching a situation like this without knowing all the dynamics at play, but I do tend to think that honesty is generally a good thing.

A frank conversation with your friend about what both her and your own needs and capacity are could go a long way.

To me, in answering this though, I think there are actually two areas to be unpacked and explored, one being to do with your feelings of social anxiety, and the other being to do with the expected reciprocity of friendship. I might start with the latter, if that's okay, just because I think I have an easier answer for it, haha.

So yeah, look, when it comes to friendship, I do believe in give and take. I believe in 50/50, but that doesn't mean every interaction and every exchange needs to be reciprotated then and there, nor does it need to be received or given back in the same way. When I look at my closest friendships, there are time where I feel I've given 110% of it - whether through break-ups or other troubled friendships or the loss of a parent or just general mental health, but in most of those, there have been times I know I've taken the same levels of support from them too.

Life's long, and friendships that are built to last are going to have ebb and flow to them. Listening to what your friends need, and giving when you have the capacity to give, is really important, just as being able to speak and lean on them when they have the capacity to give and you need to take is important too.

Thing is though, it can't just exist for the big stuff. The little stuff matters too. I suspect I'm a little older than you, given your mention of homework, haha, so my advice-built-off-experience is that friendships can schism over small things, especially when small things take on greater meaning. I'm not saying this to guilt you - you shouldn't feel guilted at all - but you say this is important to your friend, which means you're right (and already a good friend) to treat it as A Real Decision whether or not to go.

This might not be the popular take on tumblr.com, but if it's important to her, I do think you should go. If she's invited you, with notice, it likely means that beyond it mattering to her, she wants you there, and even showing up can be something that deepens your connection and further realises your friendship. Because again, as you get older, you realise how much showing up for people matters.

If you can't though, if it is too much, then find ways to make it up to her that are more comfortable to you. I'm currently going through a very difficult situation with my sister in family court, and one of my best friends in the world can't listen to me talk about it because it's a professional conflict of interest (she works in family court! And could even potentially work on my sister's case!) and that's!! Really fucking hard!! But she's found other ways to support me in ways I didn't expect which can really be boiled down to just being really present as a friend even if she can't actually talk to me about this stuff going on in my life. (And we've booked in a weekend away for once court is done, haha).

Right now, it's not always what I need from her, but it's what she's able to give, and it's deliberate and feels omnipresent at this point, and I love her for that.

With your social anxiety - - I don't think I have it to the same extent as you, but I feel it. I have it. I love cancelling plans, haha, but I find that cancelling plans rarely feels good in the long run. A (different) very good friend of mine told me a few years ago that when it comes to managing social anxiety, you tend to regret going less than you regret not going at all, and I think that's true.

So here's my advice: try and go, if you can, and just prepare a few questions. The thing to remember is that people love to talk about themselves, most of the time - in my experience, at least - because they're also a little awkward and their own experiences are something that they feel comfortable talking about. To ask them about them as a result keeps the lens away from you, but also builds opportunities for connection.

Questions I find are good openers / convo re-starters:

How do you know [our mutual friend]?

What do you do for a living / what are you studying? Oh! Does your family have a background in that / do your parents work in that industry [always a great one to invite usually a deluge of emotion and stories]

Have you watched / read anything good recently?

Habe you watched / read anything crap recently?

How'd you get here tonight? [especially if you're in a public transport city - people love to bitch about PT]

[compliment an accessory / hairstyle / item of clothing]

So yes! Sorry, this might be too late (and maybe not what you want to hear) but I think in the first instance, I'd assess your capacity, and what your friend needs in the situation to understand yourself how much you'd be giving in going, but if it's not too much, I'd encourage you to go. I think just showing up for people means a lot - - everything, some of the time (a lot of the time) - - and hell, if it's crap, at least you might get a good story out of it.

#rl #welcome to my ama

[yueluntest]

𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑.

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: Manon, but I go by Sae! 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍: She/her. 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌: Discord. I'll deal with Tumblr IMs if people prefer it as I understand not everyone is comfortable sharing their Discord right away. I just find Tumblr IMs to be infinitely impractical, I miss the ability to directly reply/quote previous messages and such, and I often type way too much, so you can surely imagine! Any way, I'm easy enough with Discord, if you ask, the chance is high that you'll get it. So don't hesitate to ask! 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒: My ever dearest Guizhong, and Yelan is over here. 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄: Throughout Tumblr? Joining the Genshin RPC, actually. I've said this about a previous fandom of mine, but it's been about a year since I first entered this one with Guizhong (originally on my multi for about a month), and it's been nothing short of my best and genuinely most peaceful experience in many years. Usually I see fandom problems arise well before the one-year mark, but here it's been quite calm and also, the closest to feeling that old 'community' concept again. We're all here to have a good time, we engage across the board pretty well, and it's just, it's been really nice. I struggled immensely to be on Tumblr for a good two years prior to coming here, despite the best efforts of friends, and I think it's simply because no fandom has quite felt like this one. None of them ever really succeeded in giving me what this one has. You guys are magnificent, never change.

𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐒: You've called salt into your life with this one, be ready: this trend of privately or publicly guilt-tripping people into interacting with them ('I guess no one's interested...' or 'guess I'll go then...') or even for interacting with duplicates of their muse instead. This should never be a thing I'll cut people like that out of my life and off my dashboard as quickly as I breathe for guilting, and I’ll always motivate people to do the same. There is nothing healthy, remotely positive or forgivable about that kind of behavior, but I see it happening very often still. Are people not interacting with you? Go after them with all the fire of motivation that you possess, and if you don’t have that? Then the muse you have before you may not the one for you. Honestly, I think it's just that if you have passion for your muse, then you won’t let yourself get demotivated, you won’t let things hold you back, because you’ll have a spirit that can’t really be quelled in any capacity. Are duplicates intimidating? Then either find your way to shy away from them or let that insecurity drive you; let it make you better, let it drive you to improve (mentally). I’m not saying anyone who experiences insecurity is a lesser writer, not by any means— but let it make you even better than you already are.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒: I find myself drawn to specific elements or concepts within humanity (or in Guizhong's case, the exact opposite) that are either unusual among the status quo or intriguing.to me personally. I do know that I've always rather fiercely tried to avoid characters that are very reminiscent of me as an individual. Though on some level, there is usually a trait that I understand on a fundamental level in some way or another, the nature in which it's presented is usually simply is different, however. So for example with Yelan, I can talk about this inherent concept of loneliness that is incredibly different from what we consider to be the norm, I've understood the concept incredibly well throughout various parts of my life, but never in the way that it was presented with her whatsoever. And in terms of Guizhong, it's her curiosity to figure everything out, but as a god who by default, does not function in a similar capacity to mortals whatsoever, it's incredibly interesting (and different) for me to see. 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: The former, but the latter usually will also either be based on a mentioned plot, or I'll turn it into a plot! 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒: I always inevitably end up getting wordy, but I can start shorter as to establish a sort of writing comfort and/or flow with the other person, especially if you're a new RP partner of mine. I kind of release the reigns to you. 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄: This used to be in the dead of night, and I'm still trying to establish when I write best now. 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄: Generally, nope!

#So for example with Yelan #I can talk about this inherent concept of loneliness that is incredibly different from what we consider to be the norm #I've understood the concept incredibly well throughout various parts of my life #but never in the way that it was presented with her whatsoever. And in terms of Guizhong #it's her curiosity to figure everything out #but as a god who by default #does not function in a similar capacity to mortals whatsoever #it's incredibly interesting (and different) for me to see.

[matty-1-monopoly]

Another One Leaves Pt. 2

littlemisssunshine — Today at 2:17 AM I offered my feelings on the topic, and the way they were argued was just less than encouraging and felt like a silly way to spend my time. Trying to tell me that me, or my character could or should have corrected what you wrote shows me that I wasn’t being heard, and that it seemed more like you wanted to hear my feelings on the matter to correct them with your own opinion, and while I do respect your opinion, and wish I could’ve been different I don’t have the mental capacity to go back-and-forth over two different versions of an opinion. (edited)

matty-1-monopoly — Today at 2:27 AM I believe I wrote "If you feel the character said something wrong then correct them with your character or talk to me directly ooc and ask me to rewrite it." Does telling me directly to rewrite it OOC also make you feel like you're not being heard?

I believe I also reiterated asking for an example which you left the server. I still  haven't gotten an example and asked for a second opinion which they said "Oh for sure you were looking for constructive criticism and they said "All of it the whole last post" that is a bit broad and not exactly what you asked. "

I don't like godmodding and was completely blindsided when you said that I did it. If you feel that writing an implied backstory oversteps that boundary then please tell me but I need you to point it out. You can tell me to rewrite something, I believe I did that for you and you did it. I just need a specific example of what you dislike so I can understand. I'm very disappointed in myself because I just don't see what you're seeing and I'm trying to find out.

littlemisssunshine — Today at 2:35 AM in your last reply, with Linnea, I had nothing to write because you did it all lol. and like I told you with Presley writing so many side stories who are evenings and so many things that she’s done that were a surprise to me until I read your reply should it be something I have to point out and honestly it’s never been some thing I’ve had to point out to anybody not to do [2:39 AM] so I’m sorry that I don’t have a specific sentence because it was so broad and I’m sorry that you weren’t happy with my answers or responses but I’m not gonna tell somebody to rewrite a reply, especially when it comes to godmodding because it’s some thing that is pretty generally known to be frowned upon and I am a big advocate and asking first, then posting rather than posting and waiting to see if they’re corrections to be made. And like I told you while I completely respect your preferences, it just felt 70/30 at best when it came to being equal in plots and things like that. But in respecting your preferences and your style, I equally respect my own and after giving it multiple tries, they just didn’t vibe together for me which is unfortunate but also it happens and it’s okay and I would hope that there’s no hard feelings on either end of this. It’s just something that didn’t work out. [2:40 AM] I’m not blaming you or pointing a finger at you. Everybody is different when it comes to how they do things here and that’s all I see that it was

matty-1-monopoly — Today at 3:00 AM You say you're not blaming or pointing a finger at me but you say I'm godmodding your character without examples. This is again why I ask for examples because I'm rereading my last post in the Linnea scene and it's all based around things your character was doing in your prior post. And then you say it was 70/30 in the plotting, so I assume I'm the 70 if I'm godmodding your character, right?

I'm even more confused about your comments with Linnea because the post seems extremely open ended to me. If I were to reduce it to the most basic level, he came on her face and asked 2 questions, can he sleep in her room and can they go again. I'm really confused now more so than I was originally after rereading Linnea. I'm going to post the link to the server because you keep saying I was godmodding your character but I feel even more secure in that I was not godmodding her. https://discord.gg/dWGUeRkGsc

I think you may have some points with Presley because I'm rereading that and I may have been confused on a few of her actions, because I see the connection of why I wrote some things. I will say though that there are 0 previous story references in the last two scenes aside from them mentioning about the details she's shared.

Again this is why examples are key because you can point at that and say you hate it just like how you're pointing at godmodding and saying you hate it enough to not RP. If you just don't want to RP with me then say that, I refuse to compete in popularity contests but will always discuss literature. YOU SENT AN INVITE TO JOIN A SERVER T&M chit-chat

Joined

littlemisssunshine — Today at 3:01 AM I don’t know why you’re digging deeper or trying to make it something that it’s not [3:04 AM] I am saying what I mean and quite frankly, the way you’re arguing it again tells me that you’re just not hearing what I have to say and you want to just defend yourself which is a normal human reaction and that’s fine but it’s not for me and 100% not what I’m gonna do at one in the morning. you have your feelings on the situation and I respect them. I have my own feelings on the situation and I honestly just don’t care if you respect them or not amazing would you clearly don’t and that’s OK but it doesn’t mean this conversation is over because it’s not gonna go anywhere beneficial. [3:07 AM] I could’ve very easily left deleted and blocked you and not offered any of my genuine feelings towards why the replies just weren’t flowing for me anymore. I made the choice to be honest. I’m sorry you don’t like it, but it doesn’t change my own truth. If it was a matter of me just not wanting to I would have literally no problem saying that. and if that were the case, I wouldn’t have responded to begin with, or left you on my friends list, I’ve given you my examples you don’t like them that’s fine, but respectfully I’m not going in circles for any reason.

@littlemisssunshine I could’ve very easily left deleted and blocked you and not offered any of my genuine feelings towards why the replies just weren’t flowing for me anymore. I made the choice to be honest. I’m sorry you don’t like it, but it doesn’t change my own truth. If it was a matter of me just not wanting to I would have literally no problem saying that. and if that were the case, I wouldn’t have responded to begin with, or left you on my friends list, I’ve given you my examples you don’t like them that’s fine, but respectfully I’m not going in circles for any reason.

matty-1-monopoly — Today at 3:09 AM Wait, can you repeat the "examples"? Because I count 0.

littlemisssunshine — Today at 3:09 AM No, I can’t because I’m not doing this shit anymore

matty-1-monopoly — Today at 3:09 AM Alright so you call me a godmodder & give 0 examples. Cool

littlemisssunshine — Today at 3:09 AM Have fun with your one-sided argument situation I’m over it

matty-1-monopoly — Today at 3:10 AM You were a pleasure to RP with, that's it.

littlemisssunshine — Today at 3:10 AM I gave you multiple you don’t like them because you don’t see it and that’s fine but again, it’s a matter of opinion I made a choice to respect yours if you don’t want to respect mine, that is your choice and quite frankly, not my problem

@littlemisssunshine I gave you multiple you don’t like them because you don’t see it and that’s fine but again, it’s a matter of opinion I made a choice to respect yours if you don’t want to respect mine, that is your choice and quite frankly, not my problem

matty-1-monopoly — Today at 3:10 AM Wait, can you repeat the "examples"? Because I count 0. [3:10 AM] ctrl + c & ctrl + v

littlemisssunshine — Today at 3:12 AM This is very weird behavior. I don’t see a need for it at all. This belittling bullshit is over. I was trying to leave the door open. Maybe eventually read me the middle ground and like try something again but clearly that’s not an option because you don’t want to take responsibility for anything that I have an opinion on, you just want to argue it to make yourself right

matty-1-monopoly — Today at 3:12 AM Alright so you call me a godmodder & give 0 examples. Cool [3:12 AM] You were a pleasure to RP with, that's it.

littlemisssunshine — Today at 3:12 AM Think what you want do what you want. Consider yourself right about whatever the fuck you want to be right about that validates you in the situation. [3:12 AM] OK bye

#OOC

[wintmania]

Chair yoga sequence for seniors

Now if you want to take it one step further, try it without the chair. For example, “If you’re concerned about your knees please do your Utkatasana in a chair” or better yet “Let’s all try Utkatasana in a chair and see how it feels. It is usually best to have chairs available for everyone and give those recommendations to the entire class rather than single one student out. In situations like this we usually don’t need to rely on the chair in every pose, so it’s essential for the teacher to suggest chair as an option. When the student has some sort of physical ailment that makes it difficult to be on the hands and knees, or support his/her body weight while standing, or transition down to the ground, chair can be a useful tool to provide stability and support for the vulnerable areas. Students of any age with knee, ankle, wrist, etc. If possible, we want to encourage our older students who do not have severe physical limitations to move around, to transition up and down from the ground and to experience other yoga poses not limited to a chair when it is appropriate. So chair yoga can be a useful tool for older students for physical and mental support, yet we don’t want it to become a crutch for both students and their teachers. However, we are all aware that sitting is the new smoking, and physical activity is essential for our physical and mental health, so chair yoga is not a substitute for moving around. The promise of “you can do yoga right where you sit!” is appealing to many students and can be a great starting place. When else are they going to practice this skill if not in a yoga class?Ĭhair yoga can also be a non-threatening entry point for beginning older students who are intimidated by the images of bendy yogis in magazines. Falls are common in older population and if the fall happens when no one is around, it is essential for the student to be able to get up. However, there is one major point that we need to remember – older adults NEED to practice transitioning down to the ground and up again. You might say that chair yoga is useful for older adults who have limited mobility and trouble transitioning down to the ground. Then is chair yoga meant for older students who cannot do many classical yoga postures? May be, but most yoga poses can be adapted to the student’s current physical situation without the chair. So ultimately this is not about age, it’s about student’s physical ability. I’ve worked with students who are 70 – 80 years old and who did not need a chair and students 50-60 years old who relied on it extensively. But the interesting thing is that age is really not much of a factor. The reality is that chair can be a very useful prop for students of any age or physical capacity, so today let’s take a look at different groups of people who can benefit from chair yoga. This notion is supported by the fact that when Chair yoga is listed on the class schedule it is usually geared toward older students. This response reflects a common notion among students that if you use a chair it means that you’re incapable in some way, or just old. “I don’t need a chair, – she replied – I am not elderly”. “Let’s use a chair” – I suggested to one of my students few years ago.

#Chair yoga sequence for seniors

[pinerprofile]

Chair yoga sequence for seniors

For example, “If you’re concerned about your knees please do your Utkatasana in a chair” or better yet “Let’s all try Utkatasana in a chair and see how it feels. It is usually best to have chairs available for everyone and give those recommendations to the entire class rather than single one student out. In situations like this we usually don’t need to rely on the chair in every pose, so it’s essential for the teacher to suggest chair as an option. When the student has some sort of physical ailment that makes it difficult to be on the hands and knees, or support his/her body weight while standing, or transition down to the ground, chair can be a useful tool to provide stability and support for the vulnerable areas. Students of any age with knee, ankle, wrist, etc. If possible, we want to encourage our older students who do not have severe physical limitations to move around, to transition up and down from the ground and to experience other yoga poses not limited to a chair when it is appropriate. So chair yoga can be a useful tool for older students for physical and mental support, yet we don’t want it to become a crutch for both students and their teachers. However, we are all aware that sitting is the new smoking, and physical activity is essential for our physical and mental health, so chair yoga is not a substitute for moving around. The promise of “you can do yoga right where you sit!” is appealing to many students and can be a great starting place. When else are they going to practice this skill if not in a yoga class?Ĭhair yoga can also be a non-threatening entry point for beginning older students who are intimidated by the images of bendy yogis in magazines. Falls are common in older population and if the fall happens when no one is around, it is essential for the student to be able to get up. However, there is one major point that we need to remember – older adults NEED to practice transitioning down to the ground and up again. You might say that chair yoga is useful for older adults who have limited mobility and trouble transitioning down to the ground. Then is chair yoga meant for older students who cannot do many classical yoga postures? May be, but most yoga poses can be adapted to the student’s current physical situation without the chair. So ultimately this is not about age, it’s about student’s physical ability. I’ve worked with students who are 70 – 80 years old and who did not need a chair and students 50-60 years old who relied on it extensively. But the interesting thing is that age is really not much of a factor. The reality is that chair can be a very useful prop for students of any age or physical capacity, so today let’s take a look at different groups of people who can benefit from chair yoga. This notion is supported by the fact that when Chair yoga is listed on the class schedule it is usually geared toward older students. This response reflects a common notion among students that if you use a chair it means that you’re incapable in some way, or just old. “I don’t need a chair, – she replied – I am not elderly”. “Let’s use a chair” – I suggested to one of my students few years ago.

#Chair yoga sequence for seniors

[dustwise]

*    shizu .     wishing everyone a   happy new year’s eve <333  may it finally be the year that sparks joy .   

#` 𝒊 . 笔者 / ooc . #wishing everyone nothing but happiness & security #and thank you for putting up with my slow ass . i appreciate y'all #edit: to add on #i hope no one minds i take msgs on at my own pace #( i.e. one reply every few hours / days ) #as mentioned in my guidelines i have a nonexistent social battery #& i rather reply to things in the right mental capacity #than give a half-assed reply that seems like i'm not interested ---- #of course i understand delayed responses also comes across as disinterest #so please do things at your own comfort !! #may it be talking about these concerns with me #unfollowing or us admiring each other from a distance #just wanted to put this out there 'cause it's been on my mind a lot the last week

[tessatales]

Touch Starved Series: ✨Tony✨

Tony x F!reader

Warnings: Sad Boi Tony, Touch Starved Tony (duh), Mention of Panic Attacks (PTSD related)

Theme: Soft Tony, Soft Reader, Cute 

A/N: Guess who wrote this whole fic, Scheduled it for the 14th, and then found that Tumblr never saved it so i have to write it all again? That's right- ME. I'm disappointed in you Tumblr app- you ruined a perfectly good 2AM fic frenzy.

Anyway, this second version sucks compared to the first but again- you cant create a 2am fic masterpiece at 2pm can you? Well- onto the fic!

*Your POV*

 “ Miss Y/L/N, Tony needs you in the lab” F.R.I.D.A.Y said, the AI’s voice much softer than usual. Lifting your head, you blink rapidly as you adjust to the sudden change of lighting. You’d been so absorbed in your research that you hadn't noticed the daylight receding.

“What's up  F.R.I.D.A.Y? Tony said he didn't need me until tomorrow” You said, speaking to your room in the same tone the AI used. 

“Could you please make your way to the lab Miss Y/L/N, Tony is in need of you in a... personal capacity”  F.R.I.D.A.Y replied. That's when you understood.

When Tony had first created  F.R.I.D.A.Y to replace Jarvis. He’d decided to play around with the emotional settings. What Tony hadn't realised was he’d made  F.R.I.D.A.Y rather... Empathetic. This meant she’d come to other members of the team when someone was in need; this included mental health too. 

“I’ll be there in a moment   F.R.I.D.A.Y” You said, standing and stretching before grabbing your favourite sweater before leaving.

“Please approach quietly”  F.R.I.D.A.Y whispered as you let your room.

“I will” you replied.

--------------------

You entered the lab to shouting, Tony’s raised voice echoing against the walls as you approached the main room. 

Holding back, you waited just outside the main lab doors and you listened to Tony shout, his anger coloured with an emotion you couldn’t quite understand.

‘I am useless if I do not get this under control’ Tony seethed, his fingers gripping the table.

If she was able, you though F.R.I.D.A.Y might of sighed at this point.

‘Mr Stark- panic attacks are common for individuals who have had traumatic experiences. Talking to a therapist or confiding in your tea-’

‘Oh yes, because I’m just going to waltz up to Thor and confess the fact that I couldn’t breath because the chemicals I was working with reacted unexpectedly and the bang sent me spiralling’ Tony spat, and you watched through the doors reflection as his hands shook.

Panic Attack. Tony had had a panic attack. And from the way he spoke- he’d been having them a while. After everything that happens to the people residing in this tower- S.H.E.I.L.D had given everyone access to therapy, counselling and anything else that would help the teams mental well-being. Clearly, Tony hadn’t taken it up.

You wait until you hear Tony’s breathing steady before entering the lab.

*Tony’s POV*

‘Go away Bru- oh, it’s you. Sorry Y/N, I thought you were Bruce’ Tony said, pushing his hand through his hair as he took a steadying breath. The panic attack had left him shaken, but he couldn’t let it show. If one thing he knew, is that weakness got you nowhere.

‘Hey Tony, want to come up with me and watch a movie? Nat bailed’ Y/N said as she casually poked at the vails set on the table. Tony shook his head.

‘Sorry Y/N, I’m swamped in here’ Tony lied. y/n shrugged. 

‘Okay, ill just stick around here then. there’s no use watching a movie alone anyway- I like talking over them to much’ Y/N laughed. Tony forced a grin- from the look of Y/N’s face however, it wasn't convincing. 

‘Tony-’ Y/N started, but he cut her off, holding a hand op to stop the pity he could feel coming. 

‘I’m fine Y/N, just- leave it okay?’ Tony said, turning away quickly to avoid any more shame. Y/N sighed, her feet tapping lightly on the floor as she came closer. Tony was ready to fake anger, squaring his shoulders as he began to turn; only to be stopped by a pair of sleeved covered arms circling his middle. Tony froze, the sensation of warm arms around him mix with the softness of Y/N’s jumper almost made Tony whimper. It had been weeks since he’d felt physical contact that wasn't vicious or accidental, so having Y/N’s sudden hug was a relief he didn’t realise he needed. 

‘I know you’re fine. And i know you’ll always be fine, no matter how much you’re really not.’ Y/N said, loosening her grip as Tony span around to face her.

‘But when your feeling lost, or you need to feel here, we’ll always be here for you Tony. Me, Nat, anyone of us will be here for you. You don't have to shoulder everything on your own anymore. We’re a team.’ She said with a smile. Tony’s heart broke, his arms snaking around Y/N as he fought to hold it together. 

‘thank you’ Tony said as he held her, trying his best to take the words to heart. He knew he held onto to much alone. But he hoped in future he’d allow himself to let the team- his friends, in. 

#touched starved #touch starved tony #touchstarvedMCU #tony x reader #avengers #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #bucky x reader #tony stark

[remsmoonlight]

— title : a sweet truth

— word count : 2.1k words

— pairing : john wich x reader

— summary : you get an overwhelming need to share with John how you feel, unable to keep it to yourself anymore, leaving only the good to follow.

— warnings : none, issa soft one

note: my first one shot back and it’s john of course! anyways i need to binge the movies again because this man’s voice was difficult to master this time around, now i will be getting to requests now i have indulged myself oops

                    ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   requests are open !   *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The dull crackle that runs mindlessly beneath the audio of the radio is the only sound that can be heard illuminating the space of the bedroom where you and John lay contently together. He’d offered to repair the object, or even buy another but you refused stubbornly — remarking that it gives it a certain endearing charm. You had joked that it reminds you of him. In the sense that while it has a flaw, it was able to bring joy and amusement to a person’s life. It’s humbling to know that even the John Wick was human, that he had his flaws despite being difficult to witness them in the flesh.

It took a lot for John to bare the darkest and most damaged parts of his conscience. He couldn’t go another day where his mind leapt endlessly to conclusions, his mind conjuring haunting images of your departing body that would eventually come to pass — to him, it was inevitable. He fully convinced himself he was hallucinating when you had not retreated in fear, with the look of disgust cosying up to your reflection, but the opposite. He is still a man greatly feared by a whole world beneath yours, yet you still gaze upon him with nothing but warmth.

You will your mind to focus on the words from the small object, yet it’s the heat that is emitting from his body in waves that prevent you from fully taking in what is being said, its presence doing more to provide white noise than entertainment. The minor glint in your gaze turns upwards to drag your sight across the body that half lays on top of you.

Like vines, to be found in a twist of limbs that would be almost difficult to distinguish what belongs to who is a common occurrence, the sense of shielded from the scorching realities that the world bares boldly is an addicting concoction that you can only find with him. Your heart swells tenfold at the mere thought of him and being here in such a simple way that holds so much affection just for two people.

“ What ? “

The suddenness of his voice lifts you from your thoughts that run their own race, a shy lift of your lips can be seen twirling gracefully in response.

“ Nothing, I’m just thinking. “

“ Thinking? “ he asks you, a light hint of laughter gently coating the question with a feather-like touch. “ Are you trying to scare me? “

Eyes widen in response to what he says, a heavy burst of air plummeting to the soft mattress below the two of you. “ Don’t be so rude! “ A short chuckle trails behind your reply, secretly loving the cheeky side of his personality coming out to peek out.

You’ve realised that he has a warmth whenever you’re together, but even still he maintains an air of such seriousness you’re surprised he has not collapsed under the pressure of holding such a wall up with his bare hands, these moments are the kind that you paint mentally — a still of this moment in a thousand shades of gold. Upon your first meeting of his, you’d never associate that with him, with how intimidating and stone faced he was, it would be a honeyed lie if someone would have described him in such a way but here he is. Not a honeyed lie but a sweet tasting truth that you never want to be without again.

“ I’m sorry. “ he apologises as the amusement in his tones still very much present that would aim to refer to him as a hypocrite, but it’s not spoken with vitriol, his words directed towards you rarely contain any harshness. “ Tell me, I’m curious. “

It’s a minor debate that dances with only itself, zig zagging with a biro pen that creates a mess of lines converging at multiple points to create a tangle plot point that should not be as complicated as it’s being made out. Neither of you have muttered the L word, not even under your breath in passing and the one dominating emotion you can feel overwhelming your body entirely is incredibly close to it.. but is it too soon? Even as a description? It’s a fear you can feel tickling your neck from behind, whispering stained words of discouragement, but if you have learnt anything, it’s that hiding your feelings will be worse off in the long run. Never can a human being strive for the euphoria of authentic happiness clutched in their fist when they lock away their thoughts and their desires in a box to gather age and dust — leaving behind a hollow shell of what could have been had it the opportunity to bud and grow.

“ Well.. “ you begin, your sight lowering to meet the sight of his neck, unable to look him in the eyes fully and you approach the topic. “ I was thinking about you. “

“ Yeah? “

“ I’m just.. happy. More than I thought I could be and it’s you I have to thank. “ Your shoulders shrug as best they can from your position laying down on the bed.

“ I think I should be the one saying that. “ he replies softly, his words ringing truer than they could ever be realised to be as he leans down to leave behind a ghost of a peck behind your ear. It’s an action that is short and sweet.

Never did John imagine himself being rewarded for being the architect in more tragedies and more horrors than he could ever recall. Though, he soon realised your presence was rather the opposite, a ticket to a greener field void of bloodied bargains and death, and should he keep you in his life that would be an opportunity he would not let pass him by in a sea of missed chances left to drown due to his lack of motivation. He gazes upon you fondly in affection, a hand reaching up to draw mindless circles in the back of your hair, memories of his last bargain to leave his previous life playing before him as if an old gritty movie.

“ Stop it, John. I haven’t done a thing! “ your nose wrinkles as you refute what he says with a bashful glint that explodes in your gaze. After all the time you’d spent together and you still refuse to see yourself in the way John has painted you in —

“ You’ve done more for me than you realise. “

It feels like yesterday you shared your first kiss, fondly remembering how you’d mentally remarked that it’s so unfair that what is between you should be so perfect, a cruel joke were it not to work out. Though your heart is full of gratitude when you still tell yourself that not a worry should be had, your need for a physical reminder as you move your hand to his clothed back — bringing him closer as if to burn a permanent reminder into your fingertips.

“ I guess that’s why we compliment each other so well, huh? “

A wispy sigh plummets, your thoughts and emotions mixing more and more into a blend of intensity as you fully realise just how much you have fallen and adore the man who shares your bed. It has been such a long time you have had these emotions to this degree rouse from, what has felt like, an endless slumber. Yes, there had been a few who had caught your eye, but compared to the substance that has been created and nurtured from you both, they had nothing more than a water drop in a boundless and enduring sea. It’s a hope of yours that you don’t look foolish before him, getting so emotional over something like this, you scold yourself mentally — trying to pull yourself together before you completely crumble.

“ What’s wrong? “

“ It’s nothing, really. “ you shake your head, accompanying the almost denial. You want to let everything in your heart free, but the question is how to without scaring him off. There’s not much that can scare him, but you’d rather not throw a spanner in the flawless equation.

“ You don’t have to tell me, but it might help if you do. “ John lends a soothing weight in your hand as he interlocks your fingers together, leaving the choice completely up to you, refusing to force you to share something that is so personal to you. “ it’s your call. “

“ It’s nothing crazy.. “

The side of John’s brain that has been hardwired to jump to every scenario imaginable — good and bad, is running rampant. Itching to be prepared so nothing is able to disrupt the perfect day dream of a life that had only been made available through television shows and movies, now that he has it, every day he promises to never let it be ruined. Nothing good can ever occur from ripping away the first drop of water that touches a person starved of it for days, only a troublesome path of anger can walk that path on its twisted and turned limbs.

“ I think it’s time that I tell you how I feel, “ you state, your lips almost devouring your lips by how hard they bite them, a lost thought of how you have not drawn a drop of blood seeping into irrelevancy. “ how I really feel. “

“ Right? “

For the first time, John is completely unable to get a read of you. The apprehension that is emitting off you in strong waves is not something that comforts him fully, though the fact that you speak not from anger and have opted to stay in your current position as opposed to fleeing is the only source of relief he can continue to draw energy from. Curiosity is the only thing that dominates his mind, wanting desperately to hear the next part of your statement.

In his silence, your brows furrow purely from your own thoughts. Mainly in the wonder of how you can approach this while sounding as if you have capacity and are not obsessed with him as some are with their idols. You know that would be something that would probably scare him off. Your fingertips lay a random beat on the top of his hand, you nestle closer to him as to make yourself comfortable — this does feel like the right time. Should it not? You remind yourself that it is part of a plan that the universe has for you, that it is part of a bigger picture you are not allowed to know until the final moment.

“ I just, “ you pause, blinking as you gather your thoughts and your words further. “ It’s been a long time since I’ve felt anything remotely close to this. “

Your words are like a cozy kiss goodnight before two lovers depart until the next time they see each other, a warmth that slowly grows in his heart overspills at the sentiment you individually wrap with each word you speak. He can’t help but tip his head ever so slightly, to take in every detail on your features — in his mind, nothing is more so perfect than this moment.

“ What I’m trying to say is, and you don’t have to say anything — “ the rambling leaves your lips so effortlessly, as if to savour the last few moments of normally before the inevitable confession. “ I can’t help but realise how much I am in love with you. “

His eyes widen instantaneously as his features follow suit, his lips part in surprise. With how your speech had begun, it should not have come as a surprise, yet to hear it from your lips is as pleasant as the final summer’s day, surrounded by warmth and an impenetrable energy that shields you from any harm that would befall you. He’d lived the life of a haunting ghost story that it soon became a belief that he was a monster, to hear you in this moment recite something so real is something that is difficult for him to wrap his head around. Maybe he isn’t a monster that has made its peace with the darkness, that there is more for him as a person.

The emptiness is soon replaced by a soft weight on your lips, he has leans down to join you — unable to fight the desire to savour the taste of him as you often do when you kiss. It’s a fight you have not yet one, and it’s a fight you imagine you would prefer losing. Time is no longer a concept, you’re too wrapped up in the concept turned reality that is John Wick, only are you able to concentrate on the burning that his free hand leaves as they slide up and down your waist. If this is a dream, neither of you want to awaken.

“ Who says I’m not feeling the same as you? “

#John Wick imagine #John Wick x reader #john wick oneshot #john wick fanfic #john wick fanfiction