#‘I wanted to die I felt so bad I was unsafe and stalked’ is a fucking understatement and I lost F/Os who were so important to me

[frecklystars]

I’m so sad I won’t be able to watch the Oscars until I’m home from my trip in the third week of March ☠️ the whole world would have seen I’m Just Ken by then and I’ll be left behind 😭😭

And it’s not just “wah im gonna miss a show” bc I don’t rly care about the show itself necessarily. This is my main F/O and I won’t be able to see him but other ppl will. I have felt so disconnected from Ken. I’ve gotten a handful of inbox messages where ppl say “oh i have him call ME his sweet girl now because of your comic” or ppl will tag my ship art with Ken as “oh that’s ME and Ken” and it hurts. I’ve said multiple times I’m not comfortable sharing F/Os but ppl just? Don’t care?? My self insert isn’t somebody for you to project onto, holy shit why is that so hard for some ppl to comprehend

Now when he calls me sweet girl in my fics/drawings I don’t feel anything anymore, I’ve tried making comics and I feel absolutely nothing from him, it doesn’t feel special anymore bc so many people keep self projecting onto my self insert as if she were an “x reader” experience. I’ve felt disconnected from Ken for a couple of weeks now and I’ve been trying so hard to feel good with him again but I can’t. I’m so numb. I don’t want to lose him and the fact that the self shippers who openly project onto my stuff will see him singing live, but I won’t, feels like another major step backwards away from him, if that makes sense. My ship with him doesn’t feel special anymore. I need these characters so badly, I don’t have anybody else if I don’t have my Ryan F/Os and I don’t want to go back to months ago when I had absolutely nothing to hold onto and I was fighting every day just to stay alive. I’ve had special interests completely ripped from me due to abuse and I can’t go back to feeling as bad as I did last year, I had never felt worse and I’m so scared of feeling that way again. I need my F/Os I need Ken and I’m so far away from him now I don’t feel his love for me anymore and it’s terrifying bc last year was the worst year of my entire life and I don’t want to go through my flashbacks and nightmares all by myself, I don’t want to go back to constantly planning my own demise when my trauma was so fresh and I had nothing to comfort me. I jolted awake from more ptsd nightmares today, which has been nearly an everyday ordeal for a year, and I wanted to think of Ken comforting me like I usually do but I didn’t have the heart to do so. I feel so unloved and replaceable the way ppl easily replace my S/I in all of my posts, I don’t believe he’d care for me anymore.

I keep having meltdowns bc the thought of losing F/Os all over again during a time when I’m STILL in such an unsafe situation shakes me up so bad and I don’t know how to solve this problem. I need him with me I need comfort from these characters but I don’t feel connected with them anymore bc I’ve associated them with a dozen other people. At this point I’m not really upset about missing Im Just Ken, im upset about the fact i just feel nothing whatsoever and watching that live could have helped a little but I won’t be able to access it until other people have already seen it, and it won’t feel special anymore. And my ship with him just in general doesn’t feel special anymore, none of them do, and I’m scared and devastated and I don’t know how to fix it

#vent #whatever I’ll just cry about it and delete this later #I don’t want to fucking hard block every self shipper who dumps their tags onto my posts but god. you just don’t do that!!! #it’s common courtesy!!! i can’t share f/os I’m fucking sorry I can’t bc then I’m gonna lose them!!!! and I lost *everything* last year #I can’t lose Ken too but I’m scared I already did #and I want to go offline but I can’t I have to do commissions 😭 because I’m broke asf I can’t afford groceries #I wanna rip my hair out #ppl who didnt follow me last year + didn’t see how bad I was doing May-July have no idea #‘I wanted to die I felt so bad I was unsafe and stalked’ is a fucking understatement and I lost F/Os who were so important to me #and the idea of losing Barbie/Ken scares me to death #I don’t want to go back to feeling as horrible as I was 7 months ago I can’t do it. i can’t do it but I feel him slipping from me #and I wouldn’t if ppl just!!! would stop!!!! tagging my OWN ART as their self ship!!! tagging my stuff as theirs!!! #putting ship tags all over my own posts that are personal to me my god please I’m so tired

[zadrkinkmeme23]

Full 2023 ZADR Kinkmeme Fill Masterlist

We received 22 fills in total for the 2023 Kinkmeme, which are all listed beneath the cut. If you haven't read them already, we'd greatly appreciate if you'd leave kudos or perhaps even a comment on these wonderful fics! Doing so greatly helps our event to thrive.

Please remember that all characters in these NSFW fics are depicted as 18+.

'You, And Me, and Keef.' - After finding out that Zim has asked Keef of all people out on a date, Dib decides to tail them in order to figure out just what Zim's diabolical scheme is.

AKA - Dib's jealous, and has a wank about it.

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Keef/Zim, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply, Masturbation, Obliviousness, Jealousy, Unrequited Crush, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Awkward Dates, Car Sex, Stalking]

.

'Post Blue' - "Dib wanted to tell Zim how nothing had felt right since he left, but he couldn't. The words withered in the back of his throat before they could even fully bloom. But he had to do something to let Zim know, something to convey the depths of the maelstrom that threatened to consume him. Swallowing down all of his common sense, he surged forwards, and pressed his lips to his ex-husband’s."

[Tags: Ex Sex, Closet Sex, Drunk Sex, Post Divorce, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Unresolved Emotional Tension]

An Extended Cut of this fic can also be found here

.

'Only Because I Love You' - by Wipmoy

"Oh no! Zim and Dib have been abducted by alien pornographers, who really want some footage of them fucking. And they can’t leave, or else they explode.

Well, that’d probably suck way worse, if they weren’t already secretly into each other. Zim’s pride cannot be vanquished so easily."

[Tags: Dib/Zim, No Archive Warnings Apply, Dubious Consent, Mildly Dubious Consent, Fuck or Die, Aliens Made Them Do It, Exhibitionism, Praise Kink, Humiliation, Tentacle Dick, Zim Has A Penis And Vagina, Oral Sex, Kissing, Rough Kissing, Unsafe Sex, Swearing]

.

'Slightly Less Boring' - by Wipmoy

"Turns out, intergalactic space travel isn't that exciting. Dib thinks he can fix that, though."

[Tags: Dib/Zim, No Archive Warnings Apply, Oral Sex, Blowjobs In Car, Blow Jobs, In SPACE!, Road Head, Established Relationship, Choking, Coughing, Flirting, Oral Fixation, Tentacle Dick]

.

'Trip My Wire' - After getting stood up on one of their scheduled fights, Zim discovers that Dib blew off their plans to go and hang out with some other hideous human instead.

This won't do. This won't do at all.

[Tags - Dib/Zim, No Archive Warnings Apply, Interns & Internships, College AU, Zim is Bad at Feelings, Dib is Bad at Feelings, Frenemies Dib & Zim, Dib is So Done, Jealousy, Stalking, Masturbation, Sexual Awakening, Sloppy Makeouts, Grinding, Coming In Pants, Flirtatious Bullying, Mutual Pining, Enemies to Lovers]

.

'Let Him Bite Your Fingers' - A tiny alien flew into Dib’s room and now he’s keeping him.

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Micro/Macro, Captivity, Eventual Smut, Eye Trauma, Praise Kink, Dubious Consent, Torture, Blood Loss, Forced Orgasm, Stabbing, Object Insertion, Dib Being Creepy, Come Eating, Mild Gore, Intoxication]

.

'Closer' - A fight between Dib and Zim takes a decidedly more lustful turn, forcing Zim to get creative in order to fully conquer his nemesis.

AKA - Zim uses his own slick as lubricant to fuck Dib.

[Tags: Top Zim, Bottom Dib, Alien Biology, Zim Has a Penis & Vagina, Intersex Zim, Slick As Lube, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Teasing, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Edging, Biting, Light Breathplay, Power Play, ZADE]

.

'Balderdash!' by SlimySlugJuice - Dib and Zim attend a Victorian costume party. Also, they're idiots.

[Tags: Dib/Zim General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, Dib/Zim, Victorian, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Bad Flirting, Aged-Up Characters, No Sexual Content]

.

'Twisted Transistor' - Frustrated by his inability to catch and expose Zim, Dib makes a poppet doll of his life-long rival. Now, all he has to do it test it.

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Rape/Non-Con, Explicit, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Non-Consensual Touching, Forced Orgasm, Wet & Messy, Vibrators, Dib makes a spirit doll of Zim uses it for sexual purposes, Masturbation, Starts off non-con but ends consensual, Aged-Up Characters, Dib Being Creepy, Multiple Orgasms, Coming Untouched, Coming In Pants, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Public Humiliation, Public Masturbation, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Bathing/Washing, Light Bondage, Sensory Deprivation, Cock Rings, Begging, Light Dom/sub]

.

'Dwarf Star' - by bachmanroad - Dib wasn't cut out for this.

[Tags - Dib/Zim, Teen Audiences & Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Dib/Zim, Unplanned Pregnancy, Complicated Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, (That tag is for Dib btw not their unplanned smeet), Aged Up Characters]

.

'Putting My Foot Down' - SlimySlugJuice

'Zim is forced to dip his toes into uncharted waters.'

[Tags - Dib/Zim Explicit, Rape/Non-Con, Aged-Up Characters, Foot Fetish, Foot Jobs, Mind Control, Power Play, Dib Being Creepy, Spit As Lube, Verbal Humiliation, Come Shot, Come Eating (Implied), Starts off as non-con but Zim gets into it]

.

'Strict Machine' - Fed up with his lab drone's bratty attitude, Taller Dib sends Zim in for "treatment".

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Dubious Consent, Fantastical Hysteria, Alien Cultural Differences, Fucking Machines, Vibrators, Irkens Are Terrible, Medical Kink, Public Humiliation, Light Bondage, Forced Orgasm, Forced Ejaculation, Masturbation, Power Play, Irken Dib, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism]

.

'Fairground Freak' - Dib is a university student who came to London from the Americas with a not-so-hidden interest in the supernatural and bizarre. He then learns of a new and fascinating creature of unknown origin, and simply must know more.

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Teen Audiences & Up, Dib/Zim, Alternative Universe - Victorian, Carnival, Nonbinary Zim, Victorian Attitudes, PAKless Zim, Drug Addiction, Strip Tease, Dib Being Creepy]

.

'Diet Stripe' - “You will finish this comically large beverage - yes, all of it - and we will wait. Even once you have reached capacity, you are not allowed to void liquid waste until Zim is touching your sossidgemeet.”

“Can you quit calling my dick that?”

[Tags: Dib/Zim, No Archive Warnings Apply, Mature, Urination, Omorashi, No Sex, Desperation Play, Don't Like Don't Read, Submissive Dib, Aged Up Characters]

.

'Dib's Game' - After Dib falls asleep in a compromising position, Zim is left trapped in something of a predicament.

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Dib/Zim, Fight Sex, Hate Sex, Light Bondage, Handcuffs, Cock Warming, Vaginal Sex, Zim Has A Penis & Vagina, Somnophilia, Technically Consensual Somnophilia but Dib falls asleep by accident, Praise Kink, Affectionate Insults, Subspace, Sleep Sex, Ambiguous Relationship, Whether this is ZADR or ZADE with benefits it up to the reader, Predicament Bondage, Aged-Up Characters, ZADRKinkmeme23fill]

.

'Straight To Video' - Back on Earth, Dib wouldn’t ever have imagined himself falling into this line of work, but out here, with the opportunity to become anyone and anything he desired, he found it oddly fitting that now he was the one being filmed and spoken of like one of the cryptids he’d spent his whole life chasing back home. 

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Dib/Zim, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Porn Star AU, Sex Work, Aged-Up Characters, Vaginal Sex, Size Difference, Desk Sex, Plugs, Alien Biology, Zim Has A Penis & Vagina, Older Dib, Xenophiliac Dib, Sexual Roleplay, Porn Video, Porn Tropes, Literally Porn With Plot, In SPACE!, Wet & Messy, Squirting, Now with Dib's traumatic backstory, Oral Sex, Riding, Topping from the Bottom, Come Swallowing]

.

'What is love?' - “Aliens can't orgasm can they? I can't do anything for you?” Dib asked as Zim crawled onto the couch. He awkwardly shoved his softening cock back into his pants, too tired and lazy to properly clean up. “Considering Irkens have no genitalia, no.” Zim laid his head in Dib’s lap. “Will I ever be able to see whatever 'nothing’ you have down there?” “Maybe one day I’ll deem your puny human eyes worthy.” Dib sighed.

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply, Dib/Zim, Awkward First Times, Alien Cultural Differences, Queer Themes, Aged Up Characters]

.

'Horny Dib, What Will He Do?' - Dib is drunk on some mysterious off-planet sex pollen, what will he do?

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Dib/Zim, Creampie, Sex Pollen, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Sex Positions, Vaginal Sex, Zim Has A Penis And A Vagina, Mildly Dubious Consent, Smut, Aged-Up Dib]

.

'Howl' - Irritated by Dib’s recent strange and cagey behaviour, Zim decides to follow him to a strange house in the woods.

Unbeknownst to him, Dib is a werewolf. And unfortunately for them both, it’s rutting season.

[Tags - Dib/Zim, Explicit, Rape/Non-Con, Dib/Zim, Werewolf Dib, Dubious Consent, Werewolf Sex, Accidental Knotting, Knotting, Rutting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Master/Pet, Bottom Zim, Top Dib, No smut in ch1, Eventual Smut]

.

'The Exchange' - Zim finds a rare supernatural item that Dib is willing to do *anything* to get his hands on.

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Dom/Sub, Dom Drop, Top Drop, Unintentional Dom/Sub Dynamic, Top Zim, Bottom Dib, Boot Worship, Spanking, Bondage, Vivisection, Exhibitionism, Masturbation, Anal Sex, Throat Fucking, Zim Is Bad At Feelings, Bless These Idiots, Denial of Feelings, Pre-Relationship, Adult Dib, Adult Zim]

.

'Makes me wanna take Charles Atlas by the hand' by SlimySlugJuice

'A rather large Zim winds up in Dib's timeline. Naturally, Dib has some questions regarding the anatomy of his musclebound nemesis.'

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Aged Up Characters, Alternate Timelines, Non-Canon Compliant, Post-Zimvoid Arc, Size Difference, Muscles, Large Cock, Hand Jobs, Come Shot, Come Eating, Grinding, Praise Kink, Coming In Pants, Post-Coital Cuddling, Some canon-typical grossness]

.

'Proper Discipline' - All his life, Dib had dreamt of being the one down on his knees. Thanks to The Club, he can finally act out his wildest, naughtiest fantasy.

[Tags: Dib/Zim, Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Irken Dib, Irken Empire, Irkens Are Terrible, Sex Work, Sex Club, Dom/sub, Fantastical Kink, Role Reversal, Power Imbalance, Power Play, Implied Non-con Sex Work, Zim Used To Be A Breeding Drone, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Top Zim, Bottom Dib]

#zadr #zadrkmeme #18+ only #kink meme #prompt meme #fill #masterlist

[kagemaruzest69]

Lovesick {Karl Heisenberg x Reader}

Ch. 1 - {The Village}

【ιт ιѕ тнє ℓινєѕ ωє єη¢συηтєя тнαт мαкє ℓιƒє ωσятн ℓινιηg】

It was finally a time that (Y/N) and her boyfriend, James had been waiting for. A time off from work, a vacation that the two of them really needed. Even when the two works at different offices, everyone knew that the two were an inseparable couple that was sweet and dreamy. Everyone loved and cheered for their relationship to go keep going strong. The couple decided to go to a village in the Eastern Europe that they had read in articles and it looked like a perfect place for them to visit and enjoy their quiet time together, just the two of them.

The fateful day came, however, upon arriving on the destinated village, it looked abandoned, deserted by its villagers even. It totally looked nothing like the pictures in the articles, but the nature surrounding the village and the giant castle that ghosted over the small village are really stunning and had their own magic charm to the visitors. The first step into the village, the couple noticed that the village was not deserted, there were villagers, but they were watching the outsiders from behind the window of their homes. (Y/N) and James were curious about this, if there were villagers around, how come does the village look so deserted? They looked at each other and decided to shrug it off. Since they have just arrived, they were hungry and decided to look for a restaurant or something similar that might be open within the village.

After an hour of searching there were none, so they decided to go to the outskirts of the village and sat by a river stream to catch some fishes for themselves. The air was chill, and the atmosphere was really calm and serene, unlike the true nature of the village. James went to catch the fish, whilst (Y/N) took some water from the stream and boiled it to ensure that it is safe from any bacteria or virus. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to them, a certain parasite that had evolved with the mold, known as the Cadou to certain groups was living within the water and the fishes that they drank and ate. It might be dormant within their bodies right now, but soon enough, it will seal the couple’s fate to the village that they had set their foot in.

After the meal, the two went back to the village. During their path back, (Y/N)’s (E/C) orbs caught the silhouette of a factory on the outskirts of the village, however, the wind was blowing harder by this time and the snow and fog began to thicken that she was unsure if what she saw was something that’s real and truly there. The couple intertwined their fingers together and walked close to share the warmth between the two until they arrived back at the village and stumbled upon what it looked like the village’s church. They went inside to take shelter from the upcoming snowstorm.

The church was smaller compared to the other churches they have been to, but it was enough for the villagers. Inside the church, they found an old woman, sitting by the front seat, praying to Mother Miranda. (Y/N)’s right eyebrow was raised before her eyes darted over from the old woman to the front of the church where there was a picture of a woman in the middle, and another four pictures, each two pictures were placed side by side adjacent to the middle woman. It looked kind of straight from a horror movie, but the pair decided to be polite about it and sat at the furthest chair from the front.

“Youngsters, the two of you are not from around here, aren’t you?” The old woman’s voice echoed within the church’s hall. “No, we’re actually visitors and we have just arrived here today.” James answered whilst (Y/N) scooted closer to the male’s side, feeling uncomfortable with the conversation and the air. “Oh my, you should pray for your safety and I wish you safe through your journey. Shall Mother Miranda bless you.” The old woman stood up from her seat. “The storm will be here soon along with the others. The two of you should stay here until it is over. I do not advise that you two go out while the storm is present. It is unsafe and you might become its prey.” Her sentence was enough to make (Y/N) alerted, her lips were parted, “Mother Miranda? Who is that? And whose prey? There are predators here?” she queried in hurry as fear laced her questions. “The goddess and the protectors of the land.” was the old woman’s short answer before she left the couple alone in the church.  

A look of dread was present on (Y/N) face before she turned to hug her boyfriend which embraced her back tightly. “We will be fine, don’t worry, it could be just a tale that the elders told the youngsters here to make sure that the youngsters would stay in line and act accordingly to the village’s moral value. To make sure that the children would stay away from troubles.” James assured (Y/N). This managed to calm her down. As she closed her eyes and hugged him, a twisted smile played upon his lips as a wicked plan formed within his head. “After the snow is over, we will set up our camp on the nearby hill.” She nodded and retracted her arms from his body. “I love the nature here, however, I have a bad feeling about this village.” She told him with a sigh. “I know my dear, but we will be out of here soon, don’t worry. I promise you that I will keep us safe.”

Hours passed by, probably around 3 to 4 hours since the snowstorm started, and it had died down. The two had fallen asleep within each other’s arms during the wait and (Y/N) had woke up first. She nudged her lover softly with her hand, waking him up from his pleasant slumber. His eyebrows were scrunched before his eyes opened to find her and a small smile was formed upon his lips. “Is it over?” He asked her and she replied with a nod. “Let’s set up our camp soon, the nighttime is getting closer.” (Y/N) stood up from the seat and took her things as James got ready as well. The two walked hand-in-hand to the nearby hill and set their camp up for the night. As she sat by the folding chair, she saw the factory once again. ‘So, it was real’ she thought to herself. The factory looked huge and once again, abandoned just like the village. However, she found it to be very enticing, maybe it was because of her love for machines and she had a hobby to tinker with something during her free time back at her hometown.

A tap was felt on her left shoulder and she turned her head from the factory to the face of her lover. He had a handsome face, soft baby blue eyes with short blonde hair with an undercut style and clean shaved face.  He smiled and offered her a glass of water which she took, “Thank you.” She said before she took a sip of the water. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” His blue orbs were looking up to the night sky before it went to where (Y/N) was looking at before. “And that factory over there, I am sure it had caught your interest, I happened to see it on our way back to the village which is why I decided to camp on this hill because I know that you would love it and we will be able to go there and do a little search tomorrow. A little adventure at a place that I know you will love,” He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead. “And it seems I was right,” he smirked playfully at her, a small giggle escaped her lips. “You are right about that.” The camp on the hill and the factory had somewhat eased her memory about what the old woman had said upon their encounter within the church. “Let’s rest up, there are a lot of places and things to do tomorrow,” James held out his hand to (Y/N). She gladly took his hand and they headed inside their shared tent to rest for the night.

Morning came by quickly. The pair had disassembled their tent and packed their things up. The very next thing they did after their breakfast was heading straight to the factory. (Y/N) eyes lit up in amazement as they arrived at the factory’s front gate. She pushed it open, enough for them to get inside. The front yard was filled with rusted and unused things, starting from rusty scraps, metal scraps, tanks and many more. “Should we head inside?” She asked her boyfriend, unsure whether the factory was still operating or if someone or something reside within it. Oh, how would she jump out of her body had she known that the factory held all kind of nightmares she could ever dream of escaping from and the master of the factory was not one to be too fond of visitors, or rather it was his ‘family’ that was not fond of outsiders. Upon stepping inside, she rushed on her own to inspect the machines inside whilst James, on the other hand, went to look for a metal bar that he would use to execute his plans. He had planned to leave her alone, and possibly it would kill her and soon he would be free from her, he would be free to do what he wants and most importantly, he would be free to be together with his other lover that he had been having an affair with for the past 3 months. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that he had cheated on her and chose an even worse way to solve his problem, to solve his fault. She could die and if the old woman was right, the protectors could capture or even kill her for he didn’t care about her anymore.

He stalked her quietly as not to raise her suspicions and within the right moment, he struck her with the metal bar he found. The metal bar hit right behind her head which sent her body into a shocked state and she fell unconscious right away as blood began to seep out of her wounded head. He quickly tied her to the chair in the main room using the rope he found. It was only the very first room they were in, he truly intended to make it quick for himself and then he fled out of the factory, leaving the door open, and somewhat he managed to leave the village this time.      

In the end, who knew that even in the sweetest relationship, there would still be a flaw. After all, nothing is perfect, and imperfection would always follow everyone. And unfortunately, the dearest (Y/N) found out the hole within their relationship, one that she had been turning blind eye on.

Meanwhile, the master of the factory, Karl Heisenberg was just returning from a ‘family’ meeting and he was curious as to why the factory’s main door was open. No one has ever dared to sneak into his factory and live to tell the tale. He went inside and much to his shock and surprise, he found a woman, a barely conscious woman was tied onto a chair. Karl took a drag from his cigar and exhaled the smoke before he placed his hammer down to the side. “My, oh sweet dear, what do we have here? Who was the kindhearted Santa that had left a gift for this old man?” He asked no one, but to himself. He then proceeded to use his metal power to call in a knife and cut the rope off of the female. He walked close to her and examined her, soon, he found out that she had a wound on the back of her head. A frown could be seen instantly as his brown eyes landed on the wound. He lifted her up bridal style into his main workstation which happens to be his own bedroom as well. He placed her on top of his soft mattress as he tended to her wound. What was the reason he did that? He did not know, especially she was an outsider. Maybe he was bored of what he had within his factory and he thought that she would be a new toy to play and experiment with. Maybe he was interested, intrigued by what story she could regale him with about the outside world. For now, he would keep this little prize that came out of nowhere for himself, and shall the time come, he will only then bring her up in the ‘family’ meetings.

-------------------------------------

I will attach the wattpad link to each of the chapter headings. Thank you

#karl heisenberg #heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg x reader #re8 #re village #resident evil village #reader insert

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ Flaws (Jirou Akutagawa) [2 of 4]

◂ Part 1 of 4

Genre: Angst, Mafia AU, Dark, Crossover ☁

Word Count: 2,536 ☁

Pairing: High School Reader x Jirou ☁

World: Prince of Tennis & Katekyo Hitman Reborn! ☁

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Can you forgive my flaws?

You stared at the wall blankly, blinking only when your eyes began to sting. You felt nothing, almost like your emotions had been ripped from your body. Or perhaps when your heart was crushed, it lost the ability to feel.

A cup of tea was set down in front of you but your eyes didn’t move from their spot on the wall. Tsuna sat at the end of the table to your left with a worried look on his face.

After the incident had gone down, Fuuta ran back to Tsuna’s house to get Reborn. Of course, the Arcobaleno was nowhere to be found, but by that time Tsuna had returned home. After a rushed explanation, the mafia leader ran out of the house to retrieve you.

When he arrived at the park, you were still cradling the girl. She had stopped sobbing by that point but still remained in your warm embrace. Sirens sounded in the distance – most likely called by a concerned citizen who had heard the screams of pain from the man.

Although Tsuna felt bad about leaving the girl alone, he knew the cops were close; he knew that she would be fine. His main concern was keeping his family out of prison for homicide. The problem, however, was that you weren’t responding to anything he said. Being older meant that you weighed more than he did, and he struggled to pull you up from the ground.

Your steps were robotic, lifeless, as he practically dragged you back to his house. Fuuta, who stood waiting by the door, began to cry when he realized how lifeless your eyes had become. He called your name again and again, but you didn’t once acknowledge him. It broke his heart.

Tsuna ordered him upstairs and, despite his worry, the small boy obeyed, looking back to see his boss dragging you into the kitchen.

And there you sat, not a muscle moved since he plopped you down in the chair.

“Y/N-san…” Tsuna called softly, resting his hand on top of your own. His hands were warm, a stark contrast to yours that felt like ice. “Y/N-san please say something,”

Your lips parted and it took you a moment to speak. When you finally did, your voice was rough, like you hadn’t used it in months. “There’s nothing to say,”

He bit his lip, choosing his words carefully. “Why don’t you start from the beginning… Tell me what you saw when you got to the park.”

Your eyes lifted up the wall as the memory of the past two hours flashed through your mind. Like a defense mechanism, your brain automatically cut the memory after the second shot of your gun. “A girl… she was screaming. I ran to her on instinct.”

“What did you find when you reached her?” He asked with a soft tone, much like a mother would use to speak to a child that had a nightmare. In a sense, you did have a nightmare.

“Atsuki Tanaka. Thirty five-years-old. Suspected of rape, molestation, torture, and murder. All victims under the age of eighteen. All female,”

“That’s the man Reborn sent you after?” He meant it as a question, though it came out as more of a statement.

“I should have asked you, I know that.” Your hands gripped your jeans as your eyes slid tightly closed. “I was worried another victim would fall before I could talk with you.”

He wanted to ask if Reborn had pressured you into doing it. He was, after all, known for finding great joy in convincing people to do things they didn’t want to do. Reborn had a way with words like no other, and it always landed the victim in trouble. This time, though, Tsuna thought he went too far.

“When I saw him…” Your breath was shaky, words barely above a whisper. “Something within me snapped. She looked so scared, Tsuna. Absolutely terrified, just like – ” Jirou flashed in your mind, wearing the same expression the girl had been. You shook your head, gripping it tightly as if that would erase that horrible image, but it did no good; it was seared into your brain.

“It’s okay,” Tsuna stood, wrapping his arms around you. “It’s okay, Y/N-san. You saved her. She’s alive, she’s safe, because of you.” He wanted to ask about Jirou – it sat on the tip of his tongue, but something held him back. Something in the pit of his stomach told him to wait, and Tsuna has always been a person to listen to his gut instincts. He decided to hold off asking you about that particular subject. “Why don’t you go up to my room and rest?”

Without a word, you removed yourself from the warmth of his arms and headed up the stairs and into his bedroom, closing the door behind you. You crawled into his bed. Although the sheets were ice cold due to the AC being blasted through the home, they still smelled like your precious boss and that was a huge comfort to you. Even so, it wasn’t enough to stop the tears that leaked from your eyes, staining the pillow beneath your head.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Tsuna sat at the table, his face covered with his hands. He had no clue how to help you out. The only problem he’s ever had with affairs of the heart was his crush on Kyoko, but he knew that was nothing compared to your current problem. You love Jirou with all your heart, and because of your loyalty to the Vongola – to his family -, you probably lost him.

Although he didn’t give the order himself, he knew that he would have agreed to accept the job. Would he have decided to do it differently? He didn’t know.

The front door opened and closed. Reborn came strutting into the kitchen with his usual smirk resting upon his lips. “Did Y/N complete the mission?”

Tsuna wanted to be angry at him, but he couldn’t put the blame on Reborn. “She did, and lost Jirou-san in the process.”

“Oh? Did he die?” He asked it so casually as he took the seat you had previously been sitting in.

Tsuna rubbed his arms to try and rid himself of the chill that Reborn’s words had given him. “No… nothing like that. He saw her taking care of Tanaka.”

“What a shame,” His voice conveyed sarcasm and his expression was blank, devoid of his usual smirk.

The young mafia leader didn’t know what to think, but an itching in the back of his mind prompted him to ask, “Did you know?”

“Know what?”

“That Jirou-san would be there.”

“How would I possibly know something like that?” He feigned innocence, but Tsuna had been dealing with Reborn long enough to know that something wasn’t right. “If anything, it was her own fault. I told her to meet Tanaka at five, and yet she just so happens to forget and take her beloved there at the exact time the meeting was supposed to take place? It sounds to me like she wanted him to see her.”

“Is that what you think?”

Both men turned to look at you, standing in the doorway of the kitchen with your eyes narrowed in anger and in pain.

“You think I wanted this, Reborn? Really?!”

He stared at you blankly. “It seems too coincidental to me,”

You stepped forward with the intent of hitting the man, but Tsuna quickly jumped up and stopped you from advancing. “You’ve always been an asshole, Reborn, but I never thought… I can’t believe you…”

“Y/N-san, wait!” Tsuna tried to grab your arm but he wasn’t fast enough. The front door slammed and you were gone. “Reborn!”

“She’s acting like a child,”

“Her heart was broken!”

“She should be grateful. Now that he’s out of the way, she can focus on the Vongola which she pledged to remain loyal to,”

Tsuna shook his head and left the room. He wanted to say something, but the words just escaped him. Reborn could be too much sometimes.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

A Few Days Later

A sigh escaped your lips as you walked down the street, hands stuffed into the pockets of your hoodie. The weather had gotten quite cold the last couple of days but you didn’t mind. The cold made your body feel numb and feeling numb meant you didn’t feel pain or regret. It’s been a tough few days for you and you’ve been going out of your way to avoid Reborn. Actually, you’ve been avoiding everyone.

“Excuse me?”

You snapped out of your thoughts, staring blankly at the young girl standing before you.

“Do you remember me?” The girl asked softly, clutching the strap of her school bag. She was clearly nervous.

“The girl from the park,” Your voice was dull and lifeless.

“My name is Emi Koga,” She smiled, stepping closer. “I never got to thank you for saving me.”

“It was nothing.”

“That’s not true!” Emi shook her head, her twin-tails flopping back and forth with the movement. She grabbed your arm since she couldn’t reach your hand. “If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve been… he probably would have killed me.”

You stared at the girl for a moment. “You’re not scared of me,”

“You saved my life. Why would I be scared of you?” Emi cocked her head to the side in confusion before a thought overcame her. She leaned in closer, lowering her voice. “Oh, that’s right! I’ve got your gun.” After looking around to make sure no one was around, she pulled open her bag and held it out to you.

Your fingers brushed over the cold metal of the piece and your brow furrowed. “How’d you manage this?”

“It was actually pretty easy. I told the police that the man had been stalking me for a while and I felt unsafe, so I took my father’s gun. It was ruled self-defense so it wasn’t held as evidence. The officer didn’t want to return it, but I made up a story about how my dad would kill me if he found out. It worked like a charm!” She winked in a cute manner. “It’s the least I could do. It looks expensive.”

“It was a gift,” Your hand wrapped around the grip as you lifted it from the bag. The magazine was empty and the safety had been switched on.

“They kinda took the rest of your bullets. It was the only way they’d agree to let me take it back.”

“Thanks, kid.” You slipped the gun into the back of your jeans, pulling your t-shirt and hoodie over it. It felt like home, as weird as that sounds, to have your gun back. Any other time, you would have flipped out about losing it. Or rather, you wouldn’t have left it behind for anything. As of late, though, things have been put into perspective and your gun, as much as it meant to you, wasn’t nearly as important to you as the love you lost.

“You never told me your name,”

“Y/N,”

“I’ll remember it. Definitely!” She smiled brightly. “I have to get home now. See ya around!”

You watched the young girl run off. The whole conversation had left you feeling emotionally confused. That girl should be terrified of you, so why wasn’t she? Just because you saved her life? It didn’t make any sense at all.

You continued down the street, lost in thought. Several groups of students passed by you on their way home from school, but you paid them no mind. Their voices blended together in your mind, sounding foreign. The farther you walked, the more the uniforms started to change and you were soon walking through groups of Hyotei Gakuen students.

“Hey, you!”

You paused at the familiar voice, finally looking away from the ground. A boy from Jirou’s tennis team, Hyoshi, was standing a few feet in front of you, beckoning you over. Taking a deep breath, you mentally prepared yourself for what you assumed would be him yelling at you for what had happened.

“I have some information for you, but you gotta buy me some food.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion. “What kind of info?”

He folded his arms over his chest impatiently. “Trust me, you wanna hear this. I’m starving, let’s go.”

Without any protest, you followed the young boy to the cafe down the street where he ordered a fruit and yogurt bowl. Not a word was spoken between the two of you as you took a seat in the back of the cafe and away from prying ears.

“About Jirou -”

“I really screwed up, didn’t I?”

He stared at you blankly before popping a strawberry into his mouth. “Yeah, you did. He hasn’t been sleeping.”

You groaned, slamming your head onto the round table. Jirou loves his sleep and knowing that he hasn’t been sleeping is a very bad sign. “What am I supposed to do, Hyoshi?”

“How should I know?”

“Thanks for the help,”

“You’ll be thanking me for real when I tell you what I know.”

You sighed deeply, lifting your head just enough to look at him. “Can we get this over with?”

“That day, did you have anything planned with Jirou?”

“No. He told me practice ended early and asked if we could go to the park. I agreed, completely forgetting about my meeting at that same park. Friggin’ dumbass, right.”

Hiyoshi’s hand stopped moving and he stared at his yogurt.

Your eyes narrowed. “Why do you ask?”

“Don’t you think it’s weird? You have a meeting at that park and Jirou suddenly appears asking to go to the park? Pretty convenient that Atobe-buchou let us out early that day. Never really happens.”

“So what, you think Atobe planned this?”

“Of course not,” He looked like he was glaring at you, but you knew it was just his natural look. “I think Atobe was a pawn just like you and Jirou.”

“So who the fuck was the game master, then?”

“Jirou told me what happened. He told me every detail.” He hesitated. “He even told me what happened before heading to your house that day.”

“Which is?”

“Reborn approached him that morning. He told Jirou that you’ve been feeling down lately and suggested that he ask you out to the park.”

Your blood ran cold, like ice in your veins.

You didn’t understand.

You couldn’t understand.

“I don’t know for sure, but I bet he also had something to do with Atobe-buchou ending practice early. He got a call and started acting strangely before calling it off and leaving.”

“Why would he do that?” You asked, more to yourself than to him. “If he approached Jirou in the morning, then that means he made my appointment around the time Jirou would get to my house. He did it on purpose?”

Hiyoshi shrugged. “Dunno. I told you he was shady.”

“I’ve got to go,” You stood quickly, nearly knocking the table over in your haste as you ran from the cafe.

The young boy wondered if he had done the right thing by telling you, but he shrugged it off.

What’s done is done.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

▸ Part 3 of 4

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

#flaws #mini series #angst #dark #crossover #akutagawa jirou #prince of tennis #tenipuri #tennis no oujisama #the prince of tennis #khr #katekyo hitman reborn #writing #creative writing #writeblr #scenario #scenarios #anime scenarios #anime scenario #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfics #anime fanfic #anime fanfics #reader insert #reader-insert #reader #anime #mafia au #au

[mitcheemarns]

83. “If you want me, come and get me, motherfuckers.” (boeser and pettersson) kinda has a pissed brock defending petey vibe lol

disclaimer: this is a scarlet letter au! because im stupid! and i have no ideas or originality! 

in this universe, people are very homophobic and it is outrightly viewed as a sin. there are no specifics in which there are derogatory terms used. however, there is a confrontational scene where homophobia leads to violence. (the violence is just swearing, but there are no derogatory terms used such as the f word.)

im sorry. but have the scarlet letter au :)

Elias is new to New England. He cannot deny that. The colony is chafing and restrictive, nothing like the wondrous sanctuary that his mother and father once thought it was supposed to be. The climate is harsh, probably not as harsh as Sweden, and the people are stifling. The land and surrounding vegetation are telling of the colony’s future, with its powdery and infertile soil and a multitude of weeds sprung up throughout the area. It will be bleak and miserable. It was nothing like what his parents intended. 

At first, New England seemed to be an adventure worth living to experience. The settlers had convinced his family with bold fantasies of a life away from claustrophobic Europe to a place where a new community was to be made; a new religion, a new society, a new start. His parents had believed it, and so had he. 

The journey there had been rough; the toiling ocean had been an angry god. The waves had crashed upon their ship ceaselessly, ramming upon the oaken wood with the harsh force of a thousand bulls. They had lost a large portion of their people—their, Elias laughs to himself, he cannot believe he thinks he is a part of this colony—, including his parents and his brother. 

Elias was no stranger to death. It seemed to follow him like an evil fiend, one that was ready to take from him everything except his own life. 

But even after his family’s passing, he thinks he would have been able to push on and make a living for himself. Yes, he definitely could have lived in this New England society, if only it were not for the mindset of the people. If only he had not journeyed with this specific group of people. If only…

_________

“This boy! This—this wretched wisp of a sinner! How dare he trample upon our consecrated soil that we have just come to bless with our settlement?” a woman exclaimed haughtily, standing near the makeshift scaffold. Her face was wrinkled in an unattractive manner, the shadows draping across the creases in her skin and creating harsh concavity to her visage. 

“And with another man!” another woman gasped, her eyes filled with anger and fear. 

“Now, now, he wasn’t ever part of our community. Remember, he came to us with his parents from Sweden. We can all discern what type of people are born and bred in those areas.” The woman who made this comment seemed to be wiser, yet her wisdom seemed to strangle its receivers rather than placate and inspire them. 

“The nerve for him not to reveal the identity of the other sinner. He should be thankful that the punishment wasn’t dictated to be harsher,” one of the older women huffed, still managing to maintain an air of dignity about her despite the repulsion she felt.

“Hush, ladies! Are we not women of proper breeding and state? We shouldn’t bow down to the boy’s level and consecrate ourselves. Look! Here he comes!” The young woman who spoke pointed her finger at the prison door, which had been pushed open to make way for the young man. She held her child in her arms as the group of spectators diverted their piercing gaze to the iron door.

The young man walked out with disdain in his footsteps. His gaze was cool and sharp, surveying the rest of the community with ice in his light, blue eyes. He was tall and lanky in a way that introduced a sense of elegance to the people who laid eyes on his figure. It could be seen that he came from a line of high standing, not necessarily in royalty but certainly in human nature. 

“He thinks he’s better than us!” the first woman shrieked again, holding an affronted hand to her chest. 

The young man, having climbed up the stairs to the scaffold just then, turned his long neck and stared into the eyes of the woman who had shrieked the statement aloud. His gaze instilled fear into the woman’s heart; a type of fear that seemed to pierce all the way into the marrow of her bones. She averted his gaze, instead focusing on the black letter S that had been inked into the centre of his chest. 

The young man’s gaze followed the woman’s down to the mark marring his skin. The action seemed to shake the man up, as he clenched his jaw and whipped his head away from the group of women, leaving the first woman to smirk inwardly. 

Elias seemed to have no place in this godforsaken community.

_________

When Elias is rid of the stupid criminal sentence that the community forces him to endure, he moves to a cabin near the sea. It’s a nice, cozy place close enough to hear the waves crashing against the rocky cliffs. Most days, the seagulls cry out and keep Elias company. It’s pretty lonely, but at least it’s a place where he doesn’t have to suffer under the scrutiny of the community.

In Sweden, he had aspired to be an artist, because he was the second child and his family were supportive. But here, in this small, close-minded society, there was no place for frivolous pleasures like art. So, Elias sets out to find a job that maybe he’ll be able to hold for a while so he doesn’t starve and die. 

He ends up working as a carpenter under a man named “Bo”. Bo is his saviour. Bo doesn’t mind Elias’s sin or the letter upon his clavicle or the fact that he slept with a man. Bo helps Elias when he struggles, often sending him home with extra food that would have gone bad if Elias hadn’t taken it or giving him an advancement on his pay because Bo just “felt like it”. Not to mention that Bo lets him paint on the walls, when they work on a religious or decorative building, sometimes instead of calling for another specialized worker.

Elias thinks he might’ve fallen in love with Bo if he hadn’t met Him.

Elias thinks he might’ve left New England if it wasn’t for Him. Or else, why would he take the shitty ostracizing from the community?

_________

“Come ‘ere fellas, look who we have here,” a man calls out, “the sinner himself. In the flesh.”

Elias groans inwardly and glares, huddling into himself. 

“It’s him, huh? Didn’t your mom teach you to stay clear from unsafe places? Oh, that’s right, you don’t have one anymore,” the second man laughs, his features twisted from the malicious smile on his face. 

Elias grits his teeth and clenches his fists. To a spectator, it only seems that Elias’s glare has become a touch deadlier. “Time for some new jokes. They are not funny.”

The first man has the audacity to laugh, further tormenting Elias. “You wanna go, foreign boy? What a shitty accent, don’t you think?” He nudges his partner. 

“Oh yeah, just hearing it pisses me off.” 

The first man smirks. “Took the words right outta my mouth! Think we gotta dispel our anger somehow, yeah?”

“Fuck yeah,” the second man chuckles darkly. 

They stalk toward Elias with malice, fists balled up and muscles bulging in their arms. Elias backs away, sweat beading from his hairline. He doesn’t want to seem like a coward, but there is no way he can take one of these guys, let alone two. 

There’s a rush of adrenaline in Elias’s veins. He’s about to run.

Another pair of footsteps thud across the soiled ground. The two men turn their heads toward the unknown personage. 

“Brock!” the second man exclaims happily. “Glad you’re here. I thought it was someone else and it scared the shit out of me.”

Brock stops, his eyes surveying the situation. He freezes entirely when his gaze catches sight of Elias, his body still tense and prepared to flee. Brock’s eyes soften just a little before his mask is put on again. 

“Yeah. What are you two doing?” he asks.

“Nothing much, just teaching the sinner a lesson. You wanna join?” the first man laughs. 

A brief flash moves across Brock’s eyes. The two men wouldn’t be able to catch it, but Elias it does. The emotion brings more fear to Elias than the two men do. Elias shakes his head vehemently at Brock, pleading him silently. 

Brock smirks back at Elias, making Elias’s heart thump, before shaking his head slightly to placate him. Don’t worry. It’s time I do this.

“Why are you guys bothering him, though? Pretty fucking dumb if you ask me,” Brock scoffs, crossing his arms. 

The expressions on the two men’s faces change from surprise to confusion to anger. 

“You calling us dumb?” the second man speaks up.

“You better not be starting shit, Boeser. Your dad won’t get you out of trouble all the time, you little bitch,” the first man sneers. 

The muscles in Brock’s arms bulge through his clothing. “You think I need my dad to get me out of trouble? Fucking idiots. If you want me, come and get me, motherfuckers.”

Elias can only watch in horror as the two men swing their fists in Brock’s direction.

#fic stuff #ship: blonds have more fun #asks #anon #hockey rpf #thanks for the prompt anon!!! #my writing #ill be editing this (maybe expanding on it) and then posting it on ao3 #more romance!!! #theres no romance in this #i wrote this in a long time #i should be sleeping #guhasughasdf

[reddogf13]

Between two Voids ch 2

Pennywise x Beverly

summery:  It has been 12 years since Beverly was last in Derry. now 26 years old and returning with her boyfriend she strives for a life of normalcy in the small town. Unaware that a certain stalking creature has awakened much earlier than expected. Looking for a challenge to cure its boredom ,in the now crumbling town, IT aims to uproot her life as much as possible. Yet, is that really such a bad thing given her dark situation hidden from all but the eyes of a world eater? 

status: complete

rated: M - fowl language and gore

prev chap: Between two Voids ch 1

next chap: Between two Voids ch 3

_____________________________________

~ch: 2 The hunt begins ~

She swung around with the rod at the ready. Smashing it up through ITs bottom jaw up into the roof of the top jaw. Chunks splintering off of ITs broken hard shell. IT letting out a groaning hiss, unable to open its jaws pinned shut by the metal. Thrashing to yank the rod out of its face with flowing red liquid floating up to burn out of existence. The distraction being enough for Beverly to run past all its legs. Stopping at ITs tail swinging around to block her path. The rod pulled out just enough for IT to turn without getting caught on the walls. head turning with half open jaws with an out reaching hand of long slender sharp fingers. Beverly hopping over the segmented body just as she was grazed by IT reaching for her.

Being stopped by the rods twisted end tangling in hanging roots drooping from the ceiling. Missing its chance to chase after her, IT took its time on pulling out the rest of the metal rod. Angrily throwing it off to the side with a deep hiss. Twisting over its body to go back down the tunnels.

Beverly getting quite a head start back to the main center. Not looking back as she raced by the mountainous pile toward the exit tunnel. Thoughts racing on what she just saw. ITs form definitely wasn't the same old clown. Now appearing as a mash between a winding eels head on a spider legged body attached to a twisting centipede. Towering over the tallest of men at 12 feet high at just the shoulder alone. Jaws big enough to swallow her whole or even a whole cow without chewing.

Out of breath she stumbled past the pipe entrance into the running river under the warmth of the sun. having no time to catch her breath when Erik yanked her up against his chest.

“what was that thing?!” he shook her angrily.

“i-it was – uh. i-” her mind jumbled the words out, flinching in Erik presence. The lack of air in her lungs keeping her from getting out anymore noises.

“spit it out! You wanted me to die back there?! Is that it?! You knew about it!” he punched her in the gut.

“no!” she wheezed out past a few tears. Body uncontrollably trembling under all the stress.

“liar!” shouting as he slapped her hard enough into being knocked back into the shallow water at their feet. Beverly freezing where she landed. Staring down at the water in anticipation of more hits. Watching blood slowly drip off her face to flow away with the water. Having the wind literally kicked from her lungs as Erik unleashed his full fury on her.

“get up! We're heading back!” he roughly yanked her up by the arm. Twisting her arm behind her back painfully. Forcing her forward with full control over the direction she walked.

Upon returning to the junkyard he threw her down into the dirt. Muttering curse words as he circled around her body. She kept her stare directed toward the ground. Shutting them under all the pain weighing on her exhausted body. Flinching at hearing Erik suddenly move as if going for another kick. Instead he had crouched down to be closer at her head.

“your staying outside all night tonight! I don't want you looking at me, speaking, or moving from this spot!” he yelled down at her. Standing up to storm off out of her view.

She painfully wheezed out a few shallow breaths. Swallowing the built up mouthful of blood. Thoughts crossing her mind on what just happened.

“IT is here. I have nowhere to hide. I can't move, even if I wanted to. … will I be able to open my eyes if I shut them now? … does it matter when ITs stalking around. … it knows i am here. … it'll find me soon enough with me stuck here.” she thought, eyes shutting tightly to breath through the pain. Consciousness slowly fading to the numbness of sleep.

Below the city roads IT crawled back into the mountainous pile of items. Furiously speaking to himself over what he saw.

“that measly little male dared to enter my territory! Acting dominate in my home! the stupid human has no idea who he challenged by walking in like he owned the place! As for the girl, Beverly, its not me she fears, its all him. the humiliation I have to face over her fearing such a weakling over me! A higher being as myself being defeated once by this now whimpering female! What does that speak of me?!” he roared with a thrash of his long segmented tail. Bashing a pile of objects over to spread across the stone flooring.

“have I lost my touch?! With her crumbling am I as well? I cannot accept that one of my greatest adversary's fell so far from her throne. I cannot allow Beverly to have a win above me while so low. All the greater the insult that she wants that pathetic male as a mate. Hes not worthy of the title of being her consort! Why pick such a horrid male when there's an obviously better one in the vicinity?!” Pride burning deep inside to bubble up a deeper feeling.

An instinctual urge to prove his worth as a top prime male. IT had a male challenger barging into his home. Being dominant over a female IT saw of great worth in his territory. The only female to challenge him face to face and get away with it. Fighting him today even when she was horribly injured to the point of collapsing. The only one that did not fear him, unlike all the other prey. She was a female that had unintentionally proven herself as a strong worthy mate. Now all IT had to do was court her into accepting him as the better male. Which IT felt confident wouldn't be too difficult. It was obvious to him he was the prime choice.

“he provides no protection, no nest, or any food for her. I can easily provide all that and more so why possibly pick him?! … I'll have to approach this delicately. I must face that I'll be a ... little ... different from the common human mate females choose.” he admitted to himself.

“i can only assume that killing her current male will not be viewed as acceptable.” he grumbled. humans did not necessarily like their own kind being killed. Killing the competition would make everything so much easier, but what would a competition be without a challenge. this courting was going to be harder then expected with this being out of bounds.

“ … humans like warmth just as any creature. Soft bedding material … that I do not have.” he thought, trying to go off memory from observations on what humans liked. His acceptable den now seeming less so. The bedding he had, not being close to what the humans normally rested upon. It was all hard layered items he burrowed under to temporarily rest until his next hunt.

“a suitable nest is the most basic thing to have. I'll have to hunt for proper bedding.” IT mumbled to itself. Looking over its hoard on the inner half. Already starting to sort or move things for a clearer space.

Beverly woke in the dark of night with a horrible shiver. Feeling something lightly covering her when she shifted. Grabbing a handful of what it was with her eyes opening to investigate. Sitting up stiffly to watch the blanket of snow covering her be disturbed. Watching the small amount in her hand melt away. She squinted up at the dark sky to watch more red lit flakes fall down. Looking back down to the snow lit up in a glowing red.

Turning her head looking over toward the bus containing a warm barrel fire. Seeing the silhouette of Erik through the foggy windows walking around inside. Swallowing roughly on the dry taste of blood left in her mouth. The snow falling was making it unsafe to sleep outside. Mind going back and forth on ideas for gaining shelter. Taking her time on standing with quick sucking in of breath at sharp spikes of pain. Unsteadily stepping through the thin snow closer to the glowing bus.

“if I really apologize from deep down. maybe he'll let me in.” she thought. The last few feet of her walk up to the bus turning into a stumble. Falling into the cold metal with a loud bang followed by a hiss. Leaning there to regather her strength while listening for Erik inside. He stopped moving the moment she hit the metal. “any good mood he had is gone now.” hope of getting inside vanishing. She stopped her leaning, going down along the bus to the back door. Hesitantly knocking with little strength in each hit. Being ignored she cautiously took the first step in communicating.

“ i-i am s-sorry Erik. I s-should have s-said s-something.” she spoke toward the door with a shivering voice.

“No you’re not! Your the one who started fighting!” she heard him angrily speak from inside.

“ i ... I am really s-sorry! It's really c-cold out here! P-please, please, can I come in!” she begged at the door. Tears building up in her eyes at knowing the futility of this begging.

“not my problem! Get the fuck away from the door!”

“… i don't want to be alone out here. ...” she whispered to the door. Stopping her plea to get inside after seeming to only make Erik even madder. Taking a part of her sleeve to wipe away the falling tears.

The cold wasn't the worst thing to arrive in the night. Beverly was sure IT would be hiding in the shadows around the piles. Even the large dark space hidden under the bus made her too nervous to be near for long. stepping off to be away from everything but the light of the fire.

She may have been far from any cover for IT to be behind, but being out in the open wasn't any safer. Sitting down with her back toward the light in an attempt at getting a heat source proving fruitless. The snow falling in a layer over her sitting form. Collecting more body heat the thicker it grew. Gently she leaned down onto her crossed legs. Hissing at a shock of pain coming through her shifted ribs followed by a painful coughing fit. Snow only helped numb the pain so far.

“i can't afford broken ribs in this weather.” she mouthed the words to herself. Winter was the season she grew to hate. It was no longer a time of Christmas cheer and playing in the snow with school canceled. Now it was just trying to survive the snow with each passing day. Passing through it was a chore by itself with getting food becoming a nightmare. Which reminded her body of the traditional Christmas food like fresh turkey meat.

Memory cutting short by her stomach growling at its hollowness since that one meal yesterday. Regretting not having grabbed the last half of that burger to shove into a pocket.

“its something I should be used to, regret. That and guilt ever since I told the guys to go die. Regret on meeting Erik, following him far off to new York. After all that i've done it's what I deserve. I need to stop making him so angry all the time. He was so happy and nice until he met me. It's all my fault he's changed. He'll leave me at some point if I don't make things up to him.” thoughts stuck on the tracks of misery.

“maybe if I find something good for us tomorrow he will forgive me.” she whispered out with a shiver. Cold air filling her lungs causing her to cough again. Flinching in pain at the ribs moving too quickly. Shutting her eyes tightly to fill her mind with sleep. Wanting to skip the rest of the cold hours of darkness. “maybe if IT shows up, i'll just look like a snow covered rock.” the final thought passing through her tired mind. Sleep passing the time by in an instant for her.

Waking up to a kick to the ribs under the morning sunlight. She looked up, face scrunched in a wince, toward Erik. Snow sliding down her hair to be in front of her eyes.

“yeah, you're not dead.” voice sounding monotone as he puffed on a cigarette. Heading off toward the exit of the junkyard without waiting for a word from Beverly.

“i will be if I get more of those wake up calls.” wheezing unhappily after he was long gone. Stiffly uncurling from her seated spot to stand up. Body letting out a few pops from leaving the uncomfortable position she had been laying in the many past hours. Coughing badly again on the strain her body was going through. Stomach growling again to remind her of the hunger building.

“there are fish in the river ... I …. could …. i am not allowed to leave.” she thought, looking off to the junkyard entrance. “getting free food will make him happy. He won't mind me leaving if I bring something back. … but I have to bring something back.” her mind going in circles on risking her health further. If he discovered her returning with nothing in hand … it wouldn't end well.

“... just for an hour.” Quietly leaving the back way of the junkyard into the thicker wooden area. Turning anxious in the thick brush as if the trees themselves would snitch on her for leaving. Deep breaths keeping the anxiety at bay enough to keep moving forward. Following the dry creek bed that only filled with the floods in spring. Even with its existence it seemed the streets still flooded with their own rivers. Rain was never light on the small town of Derry. Everything flooded, every house had to have tall foundations to keep water out. Sometimes even the rain could close the schools it poured so hard. Unlike snow days the rainy ones were worrying.

“that rainy day.” remembering of when she first met Erik. Looking back on that day, maybe the weather was an omen of warning.

Her and the losers club had grown up out of Derry. Starting their own careers with great success in L.A. All relatively close to one anothers working space allowing to see each other commonly. Her own career just starting to take off in the world of design. Despite the careers flying something was always missing for all of them. Talks of dating came up while they were dining together. One thing lead to another with a final decision to meet up again on the weekend. Said weekend meet up starting with bar hopping across downtown in search of dates.

By the end of it bill, her, Eddie and Richie were the only ones without dates. They stopped at a diner to grab some late lunch. When it started to rain the guys wanted to head back to their hotels. she wanted to roam around a little longer for a date. Heading through the drizzling rain to a coffee shop she heard was a good place to meet people. Half way there the drizzle turned into a pour. She ran to cover under a tree, bumping into Erik, who was doing the same.

They stood under the tree talking with one another. Phone numbers were exchanged and all seemed perfect. Until their relationship got around to the three month mark. For a while he was showering her with all sorts of compliments to extravagant gifts. Getting into whole expensive dinners inconveniently timed around when she usually met with the guys. Later, after the fact, she would realize he planned the overlaps on purpose.

Erik began showing his worries, in private, about one of the guys possibly taking her away. Telling her they just wanted her for looks. She tried her best to settle him, but it was never enough. Him coming with her to join the guys had brought glares followed by arguments passed back and forth between them. Eventually the fighting was so bad she stopped going out with the guys altogether to keep Erik happy. Around then he proposed she move in with him.

Her gut told her it went all to fast, it had only been a few months, but she saw nothing wrong with everything so perfectly nice about him. Things started changing once she was fully moved in. He didn't want her working anymore, calling himself a little old fashioned. Refusing to quit her job arose many new arguments until eventually Beverly gave in. A little while after that he ended up being fired. Things like her car, cell phone, jewelry and other personal objects were all sold by him to pay bills.

She blamed all his anger being taken out on her as stress. Bills were piling up with him unable to get a job. Going to the guys for help, despite Erik's request, was a horrible choice that blew up in her face. They all insulted Erik behind his back. Begging Beverly to come stay with one of them. She couldn't believe what they said about Erik after he was trying so hard to pay bills.

This time she started the argument. One that made them all go quiet under her. Ranting for a good 5 minutes on each of them. Running off back to the apartment she and Erik shared without another word to the guys. Not even a chance for them to speak up about what she said. After that he said they should move away to forget their troubles. Far away to new York where he promised it would be easier to find a job. That promise flew out the door when they arrived with not even the money for a hotel. Ever since that day years ago they've remained on the streets. Fighting daily to get by.

“can't go back now.” she ended the memory at the arrival of the river. Standing there feeling out of breath. “now how will I catch the fish?” she wondered, not fully thinking that through. Her body shivering uncontrollably to the point she hugged herself to try forcing it to stop. Taking a bit of time before the shaking ceased.

Standing there with a stare down at the running water with a sense of hollowness. This time the feeling not being a part of her stomach. The energy was gone from her body just from walking. Exhaustion clouding her thoughts and her body unable to do any more.

Something wasint quite right.

“… I need to sit...” she thought. Moving lethargically over to the base of a large tree. Badly coughing into her hands on the verge of gagging on air. Curling into a ball at the trees base, wincing at the ribs she grew frustrated of having. Plans to shut her eyes for just a moment unintentionally shifting to a deep sleep.

Further along, IT was walking down the riverside. Changing from his large insectoid like form to the more “normal” clown skin. He hadn't bared his Pennywise look, in years, since there was no need for it until now. No children to scare, adults not scared at all by clowns. His true form of a giant insect being built better for hunting adults.

As of recent he knew he needed to appear somewhat appealing for showing off. Cant have Beverly too intimidated to approach his awe-inspiring self. If only he knew where she went. Staying awake for so long had really drained his energy. It wasn't as easy to spy across the town as it once was. To keep his energy up he was required to eat double his usual feeding amount. Picking off almost every new visitor stepping across the derry town limits. His tracking of beverly now could only rely on where he observed her last or off lingering scents.

He waited until he saw the male away in town before going to spy on Beverly. Coming to find she was gone too. Her tracks leading down the dry creek to end at the rocky river. Now going off the flowing scent of dry old blood. The scent lingered around her regularly to cover any real scent she naturally had. Covered every now and again temporarily by scent of fresher blood after getting into a fight.

He picked up his pace as the scent grew stronger. Wary of his approach with not wanting to be spotted yet. He wanted to hold off on any approaches until the den was complete. Moving slowly through the thick tall grass backing more into the trees.

“hmm?” humming to himself at seeing her at the base of the tree. “what is she doing?” he thought. Waiting to see if she was going to do anything. With nothing happening he sneaked closer. “resting out here?” standing by her resting body. Knowing this was the time of year humans wanted to be out the least in. It was cold and humans did not like the cold. He knew it could even make them quite sick or kill on certain extremes. “ still haven't eaten either?” hearing her stomach growl in her sleep. “can that male rival do anything right? What is he doing?” turning away to leave Beverly alone. Feeling different after the first step he took. Instincts telling him to move her some place not out in the open. He knew very well what kind of dangerous humans wandered about. Without the energy to freely spy on her condition, she would be vulnerable. Feeling torn, he let out a growl.

The den wasn't ready enough for her, she'd run away first chance she could. He'd just have to hurry back from his little task. Fighting his inner urge long enough to get away. Taking the drainage pipe up river to the town center. Peeking from a storm drain to Erik nearby.

Erik was standing across the street at a run down pay phone. Sneaking up behind passers by to grab a wallet off them. Another trick he pulled was pretending to speak on the phone, backing up till he bumped into someone. Taking more wallets in the chaos of “apologizing” as he moved away.

Erik opened up his own wallet to count out his “borrowed” funds. Keeping it held close to his chest for nobody to see the amount.

“98 bucks.” the amount mumbled, wallet packed away to head off for some shopping. Getting a few cigarette cartons, a beer, and a huge takeout tray of food. Heading with everything toward the empty baseball field, far from the eyes of others.

“that's a big plate, I think he won't mind if I borrowed some.” Pennywise grinned down from the roof top he spied from for a better view. He couldn't kill the rival, but messing with him would be just fine. Snapping his fingers with a huge grin at what was about to happen.

“sir, can you stop for a moment.” an officer walked up next to Erik.

“sorry, very busy.” Erik turned tense at being stopped. Aiming to avoid being stuck talking with the officer by appearing in a rush.

“it can't wait. step over to my car.” the officer pointed where he needed to move. “put everything on the car.”

“why?! What did I do?!” Eriks anxiety spiking over the officer commanding him.

“shoplifting.”

“shoplifting?! I didn't shoplift anything! It's all been paid off, receipts are in my pocket!” Erik shouted, outraged by the accusation.

“put everything on the car and show me. “the officer spoke calmly. Erik muttering curses under his breath while setting everything down. Getting to emptying his pockets on the hood. he pulled out an object he didn't have before, a big bottle of wine.

“where did that come from?” the officer asked sarcastically.

“i didn't walk out with this! This was slipped on me! This is a fucking set up!” Erik slammed down the wine bottle on the police car. Hitting it hard enough to crack the bottom into a heavy leak.

“yeah yeah.” the officer spoke, directing Erik down to the floor for a search following a pat down. Erik laying down was left facing the underside of the car forced to wait. The officer stood by talking on his radio with back toward the hood of his car. Unable to see the approaching figure coming to collect items off the hood.

Erik only noticing due to seeing a pair of legs walking by from his ground view. Looking up toward the hood with eyes locking onto a clown. IT looking down with a smirk, teasing Erik by waving his wallet in the air in mocking.

“hey! Put that down!” Erik shouted up at IT.

“quiet!” the cop hushed. Not noticing the clowns presence at all as if it wasn't there.

“that fucking clown is stealing my shit!” Erik being shushed a second time. IT walking away with everything in hand. Feeling satisfied at hearing Erik shout every curse he could into the air toward him.

“lets see what we have.” IT went on its way back to Beverly. Looking through the various items he stole. Tossing away the first thing he found, Eriks ID, out into the river. Then tossing his cartons of cigarettes along with a few lighters. Pulling out the wad of money to put in the food bag. Planning to give it to Beverly with the knowledge that money was important for humans. Last thing was Beverly's ID that he twisted around in his hand for a moments inspection.

“she'll want this.” setting the card into the bag with all the other items.

Arriving to Beverly still sleeping, he was happy to find her undisturbed. Nearing closer to her then the other times to stand a mere few feet from her sleeping form. Watching her for any reactions of sensing him. Without taking his gaze off her he crouched down beside her. He knew she needed to eat the food while it was still warm. The current weather not being suitable for sleeping in either.

He set the food down beside her. Standing up to move around to where her back was facing him. He reached out, putting his hand on her shoulder in a firm grip. Beverly sitting up in surprise at the firm touch. Turning over to see nobody there. She looked around in a rush of anxiety for someone. Calming down after finding nothing, except the bag sitting nearby.

“no sign of anyone, must have left this a while ago.” she thought, not liking that a stranger was able to sneak up as she was sleeping. Happy though that who ever did seemed to have left food by the strong smell of the bag. It was a nice moment when someone was kind enough to give something.

She opened the bag to grab the two things sitting on the take out tray. Surprised to find a lot of money in a bundle along with...

“my ID ...” she spoke in whispered shock. “did Erik leave this? … no, he wouldn't give me this.” staring down over all the details of the ID after having not seen it close up for years.

“or maybe he's just in a really good mood.” she thought with a pop open of the food tray. Seeing inside sliced brisket, mac and cheese, slices of garlic bread, with small side containers of pickles and jalapeno slices. All still being warm enough to create steam in the cold air. She made sure to eat everything, including the small sides she meshed in with the meat into a roll of sorts. Making sandwiches of the bread and mac cheese side.

She smashed the empty container back into the bag. Crushing the thing down into a minuscule ball to leave where she sat. Pocketing her ID and the money to take with her. Wondering what was Erik thinking at the moment.

“he saw me away from the junkyard. He gave me food and my ID. He must be in a really great mood … or something happened.” worry having her rush back to the junkyard. Falling at one point into the water leaving her soaked. Getting back up to run the rest of the way.

Arriving with a serious lack of breath. Wheezing as she held her ribs to ease the pain. Hacking almost bringing up the meal she ate not too long ago. She leaned against a rusted car frame with swirling vision. Slowly easing down onto her knees in case she blacked out. Wiping the wet hair away from her eyes to look for Erik. Not seeing him anywhere making her worries worse.

“should I look for him? What if he left? … what if the bag was a parting gift.” Panic rising into her chest at being abandoned by him. Hurrying over to the junkyard entrance to stand by in wait for his return.

“i fell asleep a while ago. He should have been back by now.” she spoke to herself. Looking up toward the sun for a guess of the time. “i shouldn't leave, but if he's gone.” she thought. Waiting nervously for the next few hours. Pacing a few times going past the entrance sign then back to it. Debating on leaving to search when she saw the first night stars start to appear in the sky. Pacing going still when she saw Erik walking down the muddy path toward the junkyard.

“Erik!” calling his name with relief at his return.

“shut up!” he snapped.

“not in a good mood.” she thought, shrinking away from him by the reaction. “you okay?” she quietly asked.

“no! I got dragged off by police and mugged!” speaking heatedly toward her throwing his arm up toward the sky. His fast movement causing Beverly to reflexively flinch at the limb. Preparing for the usual harm to her body despite none coming.

“what happened?” she asked quietly, again, with body loosening from the flinch.

“set up by the cops. Got stopped with planted merchandise on me. They made me put my stuff down then forced me to the ground. Then a bastard dressed as a clown came and took everything. I got stuck at a station for a few hours then they let me go.” he stomped past to the bus.

“a clown?! … what … what did they look like?” Beverly swallowed, hand slipping into her pocket to feel the contents she got from the bag.

“whitish suit with a few red things on it, red hair, white makeup. It doesn't really matter if they're set up with the police. Won't report on one of their own.” Erik lit up a cigarette to take a long drag off the stick.

“what did he take?”

“everything! My wallet, our money, our IDs!” he listed off. Beverly's face turning pale at the mention of what was taken. That IT had found her sleeping out by the river. Being near enough he could have done anything.

“babe … why are you soaking wet?” he glared. Beverly snapping to attention with chest tightening at how to answer.

“uh, i-i was...trying to get clean … wash off the blood.” she barely spoke the words. Pulling the bloody collar of her shirt forward.

“ … you did a shitty job. Must be fun not caring how you look.” looking up and down at her still very bloody clothes.

“sorry.” she shivered nervously.

“whatever, we got bigger issues. Especially since we got no money for food today. I would have gotten you some chips to eat. You'll just have to go hungry tonight.” heading to be inside the bus.

“yeah...” She knew he was lying about the chips. She was lucky if he returned with a candy bar. He ate the most and took the most. Only time she got to eat was when he was full and got something for free. Or she went out to steal something for the both of them. Which brought up the bagged food she was given earlier.

She didn't know why IT gave the items. The food she knew was probably bought by Erik. Being stolen without any notice as Erik was held by police.

“a dark joke of it being my final meal?” she thought. “It would be in character with the clowns cruel humor.” “Erik, c-... can I stay inside tonight?” she asked, feeling sick to her stomach at knowingly being stalked.

“no!” he answered without a second thought. Beverly's mind froze at the answer. She had to get inside tonight if she wanted to survive. IT was following her while she grew sicker in the cold. She shakily breathed in some air to get herself prepared for what she was going to do.

“Erik!” she shouted with building adrenaline the closer she walked to the bus. “i will be staying inside tonight!” stepping up into the bus.

“you crazy?! Get the fuck out!” his shouting rattling the cold metal walls.

“no!” her body tensing for a fist fight.

“no?! Listen here you bitch! You listen to what I say!” a flash of something shiny brought out from his pocket catching Beverly's eye. The fight, along with all the blood in her face, draining right out of her as a large hunters knife was pointed toward her. “after that cop shit I got some defense on me. Now you want to try starting shit too?!” stepping closer toward her. His hatred filled stare as strong as the white knuckled grip on the large knife. “don't move!” he ordered when she tried stepping back.

“i-im s-sorry.” she shivered fearfully from his anger. Body locking up as a deer would standing before a speeding car. Too scared to stay, too scared to run, either way would end with an injury. Her mind working to convince her that running would be a horrible mistake.

“yeah, I bet you're real damn sorry! Don't start something you can't finish!” he mocked with a smile. “this the thanks I get for what I do for you?! I told you to stay off the bus! You'll have to learn the hard way to listen better!” stepping closer into striking range.

His arm bearing the knife, shot up then back down in a swing just as quickly. Beverly letting out a high pitched whimper in her cowering. Eyes closing tightly shut from the sharp pain hitting her. A wave of blood being splattered onto the seats nearby. Her body crumpling to the floor in incredible pain with a sharp gasp escaping her lungs. Blood pooling onto the bus floor in a steady flow.

#It (2017) #pennywise #beverly marsh #beverly still kicks pennywise's ass #between two voids ch 2 #12 years after movie #pennywise x beverly marsh

[rejectedusername-trashfics]

Reaping Hearts and Souls: Chapter 5- Mystery Man

Summary: Gavin Free wasn’t a good person in life, but he wasn’t bad enough to be denied a shot at redemption. Gavin is recruited to become a Grim Reaper and when he reaps enough souls, he can move on to a heavenly afterlife. As training, he’s assigned to reap the souls of the Vagabond’s victims. Only problem is that the Vagabond can see him and seems to be enamored with him.

Pairings: Ryan/Gavin, Michael/Lindsay, Geoff/Jack

Chapter: 5/9

Word Count: 2,327

Notes: Singing and video game titles added to the list of what gets italicized

AO3 LINK

The Vagabond had never been much of an emotional man. Since the beginning, he had always been trained to be an efficient weapon, a killer for hire. He had been taught, early on, that he needed to suppress his emotions and personal desires, that they would only get in the way of him doing his job. But now, there was a mysterious man following the Vagabond around. The man made the Vagabond feel a desire, a longing, that surpassed all of the emotional suppression that he had put himself through over the years.

After he went back to base after confronting his mysterious stalker, he let the people who had hired him know that the man that they wanted killed was dead. But then he started to research what he was feeling to try and figure out if he was sick or if it what he was feeling was emotional based. He described his physical symptoms, warmed cheeks and fluttering heartbeat, along with his sudden strong desire to be with and protect someone. All signs pointed to him being in love.

He had never been in love before. He did research on how to act around someone whom you were ‘in love’ with. Being in love was a wondrous feeling and he wanted to celebrate it. The next morning, he made everyone in his base pancakes because he felt that everyone there deserved to be happy as well, even if it wouldn’t be for the same reason.

Trevor woke up to the smell of fresh pancakes and was very confused. He rolled out of bed and walked over to his bedroom door. He opened it and saw that Alfredo was walking towards the smell. “Do you know what’s going on?” Trevor asked.

“No idea,” Alfredo replied. “I think that someone’s making pancakes, but nobody ever cooks at the kitchen we have downstairs.”

“Weird.”

“GUYS!” a new voice yelled. Trevor and Alfredo turned to see a heavyset man walking down the hallway. “Ryan made everyone pancakes this morning,” he told them.

“Shifty, what have I told you about using everyone’s code-names while referring to them,” Trevor said with a scowl.

Shifty rolled his eyes. “Sorry, Pasta. Vagabond made everyone pancakes.”

“What made him do that?” Alfredo asked.

“No idea. He said he was feeling something he had never felt before that was worth celebrating, so he decided that everyone deserved a treat,” Shifty said with a shrug.

Trevor and Alfredo raised their eyebrows and walked downstairs to the kitchen. They saw the rest of their B-Team sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying their pancakes, and they saw the Vagabond at the kitchen stove.

“I've been dancing on top of cars and stumbling out of bars. I follow you through the dark, can't get enough,” the Vagabond sang to himself. “You're the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain. And, baby, you know it's obvious. I'm a sucker for…”

“VAGABOND!” Trevor angrily called out.

The Vagabond jumped and turned to face Trevor and Alfredo. “Oh, hey guys,” he said with a lopsided smile.

“Why are you making everyone breakfast?” Alfredo asked.

“Oh, have you ever been in love before?” the Vagabond asked as he turned back around and flipped the pancake he was working on.

Alfredo gave Trevor a nervous side-eye, gulped, and shook his head. “Nope, can’t say that I have.”

Trevor rolled his eyes. “Please tell me that this doesn’t have something to do with that mystery LSPD guy who started stalking you,” he said.

“Oh, he’s not LSPD,” the Vagabond replied. “He’s part of some sort of gang of ‘Grim Reapers’ who are supposed to ‘reap to souls of the dead’ or something. And I’m not sure I understand what ‘reaping souls’ entails because all he’s doing is touching the chests of the dead bodies…”

“Vagabond, it could be dangerous,” Alfredo pointed out.

“Hey, we’re at the base so you can just call me, Ryan. And I trust that he’s not dangerous. He sounded wary of me, but I offered him a place at our base if he felt unsafe being a part of whatever gang he’s apart of…” He paused and slid the last pancake he was making onto the plate with the rest of them. “Chocolate chip pancake?” he offered them.

“Ryan, you can’t just invite someone into our group!” Trevor exclaimed.

“And I know I was talking yesterday about how physically beautiful he was, but last night when I confronted him, I learned he’s also British. I’ve never been attracted to anyone, before, but oh my gosh,” Ryan said as a blush bloomed across his cheeks.

Trevor and Alfredo groaned. “Did you at least remember to let the people who hired you for your hit last night that the job was completed?” Alfredo asked.

“Don’t worry, Fredo, I did that before I researched my symptoms because I didn’t want another pay cut,” he replied. “And I didn’t want you two to bitch at me, again, for shrieking responsibility,” he murmured to himself.

Trevor sighed. “Look, I don’t care if you think you’re in love, this guy is a distraction and you need to get rid of him. If the Vagabond is losing his scare-factor because he thinks he’s in love, it affects all of us,” he scolded.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he groaned. He knew that he wasn’t going to harm this mystery man; he wanted nothing more than to be with this man and protect him.

“Anyway, there are regular, chocolate chip, and blueberry pancakes if you want them. I’m gonna go get a shower and dressed for the day because I have some personal business to attend to,” he said as he put the pan and batter bowls in the sink. “I’ll do my dishes in a bit. And I’ll make sure I’ll be back for my drug ring job, tonight,” Ryan finished as he walked away from the kitchen and to his bedroom.

Trevor leaned over to Alfredo and murmured, “This isn’t good.”

“I agree,” Alfredo murmured back.

Later that night, Ryan had been hired to ‘take care’ of someone who had been stealing drugs from a drug lord and selling them for their own profit. Ryan thought stealing from other for a personal profit was pretty sleazy, so it was no sweat off his back.

The drug thief had put up an effort to combat the Vagabond when he came after him, guarding himself with a few disposable underlings, but they were no match for the Vagabond. He finished killing everyone in the drug thief’s base and waited patiently to see if his mysterious British stalker had come to reap the souls of his victims again.

“Oh bollocks,” Ryan heard a British voice say. “There are like fifteen dead bodies!” Then the voice gagged. Ryan turned to see the familiar man leaning over one of the bodies and touching its chest. “I don’t know if that many souls can fit in this tiny collection box,” the man said, holding out an empty hand.

“What box?” Ryan asked as he walked over to the man.

The man shot up and jumped. “Bollocks!” he yelped. Then he looked over at Ryan. “Wait, can you still see and hear me?” he asked.

“Well I mean, as good as a black dress shirt, gray pants and shoes, and silver jewelry look on you, they’re not exactly the best for camouflage. And you’re not exactly the quietest…”

“I’m not in camouflage! Mortals shouldn’t be able to see or hear me at all. It doesn’t make a lick of sense!”

Ryan sighed. “But, we’re all mortal. So, I really don’t know what to tell you.”

“I’m not mortal anymore,” the man said to himself.

“Huh?” Ryan asked.

The man shook his head. “Well,” the man started to say. Then, he paused and sighed. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious to know why the Vagabond is immune to everything I was told about what it would be like to be a Grim Reaper…” he trailed off.

“You know that you don’t have to call me, the ‘Vagabond’,” Ryan said. The man raised an eyebrow. Ryan walked over to the man. “My name is Ryan,” he introduced himself, offering out a hand to shake.

The man looked at Ryan’s hand. “I want to shake your hand, but I don’t think you’re supposed to die,” he said, nervously.

“Don’t worry,” Ryan replied. He grabbed the man’s hand and shook it. “By the way, what’s your name? I know you said last night that it would be better if I didn’t know it, but now you know my name. So…”

The man stared at his hand in shock. When the Vagabond had touched him before, he thought it had been a fluke that he hadn’t died on contact. Now he knew that there had to be something more to the Vagabond’s immunity. “Gavin,” the man said.

“Gavin… it suits you…” Ryan trailed off with a smile.

“I’d say ‘Ryan’ suits you, as well, but you’re still a bit too intimidating looking with that mask on,” Gavin replied.

Ryan’s eyes widened. He quickly ripped off his mask, revealing bright blue eyes, shoulder-length black hair that was pulled back into a ponytail, a strong jaw, and a face that had another skull painted on it. “More suited for ‘Ryan’, now?”

“Maybe. I mean, you look a bit like a dork with the skull face-paint on,” Gavin replied with a giggle.

“Hey, I think a skull underneath a skull is pretty freaky. Plus, the face paint adds extra anonymity,” Ryan argued.

“Anyway, this was a nice chat and all, but I really need to go back to collecting the souls of your…” Gavin was cut off by the sound of police sirens going off outside.

Ryan grabbed his wrist. “The Pigs are coming. Come on, I know a place to hide where they won’t find us,” he said as he pulled Gavin behind him. He took him to a hidden underground cellar underneath the building. He used his burner phone as a flashlight and found a candle and matches. He lit the candle. “There we are,” he said with a sigh of relief.

Gavin looked around the cellar; it looked like am abandoned safe for holding liquor or valuables. He looked back up at Ryan and sighed. “I’m pretty sure the Fuzz wouldn’t have been able to see me. You are just somehow an anomaly. I really should ask my bosses about that…” he trailed off.

Ryan didn’t know how much stock he put in Gavin’s assumed invisibility, so he rolled his eyes. “You’ll be safe here for a bit.”

“I’m not sure how much I believe that. I still need to finish reaping all those souls so that they can be weighed for judgement.”

“I don’t even know how you reap souls. All you do is touch the chests of all the corpses and fiddle with your hands.”

Gavin raised an eyebrow. “So, you can’t see the souls that I pull out of the dead bodies, nor the soul collection case?” he asked.

“No… am I supposed to be able to see that?”

“…Hm…”

“Look, maybe we don’t need to talk about souls or dead things. Let’s talk about something happier and more pleasant,” Ryan suggested.

Gavin sighed. “Things would be happier and more pleasant if you would let me do my job…”

“Do you have any hobbies? Do you like video games?” Ryan interrupted to ask.

“I mean… I liked doing slow-motion cinematography when I was alive. My family discouraged me from doing that. And I did like video games…” Gavin replied.

“What’s your favorite video game?”

Nobody had asked him about what he liked yet as a Grim Reaper. So, this was a nice change of pace. “I was rather fond of Hitman. Kind of ironic considering how much I hated real-life violence,” Gavin replied with a chuckle.

“And yet, you chose to be a ‘Grim Reaper’,” Ryan replied, smirking .

“Psh, I didn’t choose to be a ‘Grim Reaper’. The job kinda chose me, against my will,” Gavin said with a smirk.

“Kinda like me and being a mercenary,” Ryan admitted.

“Really?” Gavin asked in surprise.

Ryan nodded. “I was born and raised to be a killer. Not sure I like it all that much, anymore. But if it’s an excuse to talk to you, I guess I’ll take it.”

“Ryan, no! I don’t want to be your excuse for killing people!” Gavin argued.

“Alright. So anyway, do you want to come back to my hideout and not kill people in the real world by playing Hitman with me?” Ryan offered.

Gavin offered him a smile. “That sounds…”

“Gavin!?” Geoff’s voice rang out in his head, distracting him. “I know that fifteen souls is a lot of souls for you to reap, but it shouldn’t be taking you that long to collect them all!”

“Like I have to go now!” Gavin yelped in a panicked voice.

“But wait,” Ryan started to say.

“It was nice talking to you, but I have to go do my job!” he interrupted as he ran up to the door of the cellar.

“I’ll see you again, right?”

“As long as I’m supposed to reap the souls of everyone you kill,” Gavin finished as he ran out of the cellar.

Gavin ran and quickly collected the souls that he hadn’t gotten to, yet, all while trying to make sure he avoided police. An officer managed to walk by while he was reaping the last of the souls, but it didn’t seem like officer even noticed him. He was very, very confused. Why was the Vagabond, or Ryan, immune to everything about Grim Reapers? And why did he actually enjoy having a conversation with him. It didn’t make any sense! But that was something to worry about at another time. He was already in enough trouble, as is.

#RHS #ragehappy #freewood #grim reaper au #soulmate au #rt fanfic #fanfic

[sofiathebirb]

Day 5 - I don’t care

It's begin of little hell

Day 5 ; Wednesday

02.09.2020

(from this moment I wrote everything in my notebook)

10:22 I'm in school, so idk what happening because I'm tired and bored

10:46 I'm so scared

11:16 ------ (nothing is written here, because I can't write for some reason and I have no idea what I was going to write here)

11:35 class just ended it wasn't that bad. I don't have a phone or things to do so I'll write down all my thoughts. Ah, there is nothing to write about my dream. I was in town where I lived be[fore] (I didn't finish this because I had to go from class in the corridor of school because of break time. I'll rewrite it at the end of day consultation.)

??:?? I went from class because of some reason for 20 minutes... so I was thinking about how my dad is bad, how my mom is very nice and good, but she didn't allow me to be myself, and that fact that she is transphobe (and wish that people like this will suffer and die). I thought a little about suicide and things that I should make, but most of the time I was look into boid with hopeless look.

12:45 We had to work in pairs, but i can't really do that because i didn't read any books last year because of depression. I was thinking about suicide for whole year. I felt too bad to really do something in school (and outside of school). People say that I should focus on exam, but instead I thinking about how to not make suicide. And it's really hard. I doubt I really need help.

13:01 I'm really broken. Even though things in my life get better, I feel only worse. Well, yes there is a chance that everything will be even worse than before, but it's only a chance,  it only can happen, but should it happen? I start hurting myself even more than before and... well honestly if my life will start  going worse than before , I will get perfect balance, I mean there would be reasons why I'm depressed or suicidal, because now I mainly fell bad because of my past and of my hopeless future like now I'm not really starving and I'm living in city omg. I really live very well, I don't even need to compare myself to other people.

??:?? Idk what time is now I can't really check, but I don't really know how to not kill myself. I really regret that I burn my previous diary. I don't understand why I'm suffering. why did I feel so bad. Because I can't be myself? I never was myself, why I start suffering that much only now. Why I didn't make any steps to live before why I started when I feel that it's too late. And why i'm doing things that late, because my parents always did everything at the last moment with a lot of stress and pain idk. I hate this diary, I think I want to set it on fire again. I ---- (nothing is written here) . Ah... people really think that I'm retarted and idk what to do with this (and this is too annoying). I think that I might have autism, but I can't really check it, it's really bothering me, I think about it for a week...

Our class teacher gave us candy (snickers and bounty) because of her birthday (however it passed). When i'm weigh 60 kg i'm looks fat, when 58-59 kg i'm look underweight. It's better to loose 1 kg for me, ah, also it's 13:43.

13:44 I want to go home. I think there will be my little brother and he will scream at me again [I'm shit! I'm shit! *mumble* fucking dick]. I'm scared that I will die and someone will find my diary. I want to burn it. *I'm trying to remember lyrics of sad songs*. I feel so bad I have nausea right now. I think that I'm going crazy. I'm scared of my future so much. I scared for tomorrow, and for today. I think I forgot to upload previous day of my diary to tumblr. I also forgot to check reddit . _ . . I got distracted and forgot about it. I remembered that O gpt bi;;oed even here, sometimes even worse, but it was only because of one moment when Лева tried to find me, no I mean they (I mean he and group of his people) stalk me and tried to kill me, I don't remember how, but I solved this problem by doing something for him. They thought that I don't see them when they stalk me, but I always saw them (in brushes,far away. I just acting like I didn't notice them) and was very worried when I can't find them. I still little paranoid because of that, noww mainly I paranoid because of pedophiles that trying to find me and rape me, in most case kill me. I'm so scared now. Also it's 14:27. I need to make new text book for diary only! I feel so unsafe here... I remember the car of one pedophile in which he put me... ah... I want to cry right now. I hate this diary. I don't really have rights to hate something, so I just don't like them. I'm very paradoxical, I can't really pass any test. I will be very different in almost any test. I almost fixed that problem. I hate unexpected situations even when they are nice for me, it's Just makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't really say everything that wasn't even in text. People can write a tom of text (I meant volume of book), but in most cases I'll just say "ok;bad;well;nice..."

(end of writing in my notebook)

14:49 Рита accindly hit me and said "Fuck, i'm sorry :d" and runned away. It was funny

15:05 I'm home!

17:48 I have a panic attack right now aaaaaaaaaaaaa. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

18:05 I start feeling better... I am almost fine...

18:11 My brother started to scream at me and said a lot of things like when my mom asked him to stop and he answered with "He needs to be mocked from head to toe". He just spontaneously start to hate me.\

18:26 I'm very scared for my family... what if my parents really are going to divorce. It would be very bad... and actually good in some cases...

22:24 FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FCUK! Now I know I need to do everything myself. I won't get help! I need to get money on myself. Maybe I cannot even escape army.  I went so crazy and depressed.

I'll tell you a little about my dream because I forgot to. I was in town where I lived before and slowly fade in darkness, I start to walk like on dark ink on a fluid and then something start happening, I forgot already, creepy sounds or panic or what... maybe even something evil behind me that will try to catch my if I turn my head back.. maybe these things... but something happened and I was half in two parts. I awoke! It was a real nightmare. I dare you, I feel that in reality! aaah..

It's end of the day is soon 23:31 and I want to do a lot of things in the next seven days... but I have trouble tomorrow... I don't really care... I regret nothing even if everything in my life was my fault... I don't care about myself anymore... so I can do few things tha I want... but also can really make suicide... and maybe I will...