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alldayangst · 3 years

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lovebug (Tom Holland)

GIF is from gaybuckybarnes here on Tumblr. You can access my masterlist here. This was written for @worldoftom’s lolbrosgetsicktoochallenge. The prompt I had was: ‘Tom self diagnoses himself as sick. He’s got all the symptoms. He’s speechless, over the edge and just breathless. He never thought he’d get hit by the ‘love-bug’ again’. Inspired by the song Lovebug by Jonas Brothers!

A/N: Y/N is an assistant director on Cherry in this fic. This has a lot of Cherry (the movie) references but most are explained if you haven’t seen the film. Such as, it was filmed in Cleveland and Morocco, directed by Joe and Anthony Russo. Some scenes in this fic borrow from the movie & I’ve linked clips from the film if you’d like to listen/watch along. WC: 4K.

“Yeah, Mum, I’ve just got like the sorest throat at the moment.” Nikki’s picture cuts in and out on a scrambled screen on the South side of London, her husband’s hand periodically reaching out for her, rubbing her shoulder, then leaving the frame almost as quickly as it came in. Even through the low quality, the pixels dashing about his screen, Tom can make out his mother’s brows knitting together and can’t remove the feeling of utter guilt when he sees her grow redder and redder out of anger, concern and confusion for her son. “But I’ve got Harry here with me.” Harry waves from behind his brother, his trusty mug swapped for a Phoenix Coffee Cup in his spare hand, just to get a taste of the States.

Tom reckons that's why he’s sick. He barely drinks coffee on the other side of the pond, and would bet good money that an at home PG Tips would beat America’s swankiest coffee joint any day. But now, he’s betrayed his usual routine and his body’s all out of whack and his throat is hoarse, he’s breathless even at times.

Harry shoots his mum a half smile to comfort her, but he doesn’t know what it's like to be a mother, and his and Tom’s mouth both form an ‘O’ when Nikki begins to type so hard her screen jolts and Tom swears she’s put a dent in it. “You know what? I’m going to give them a piece of my mind, Tom! They’re overworking you!” Nikki looks intensely to find her baby boy in drug-addled eyes and his jungle of curls on his newly shaven head. She guesses it becomes easier when Tom pushes his face halfway into the screen and pleads like the child he’ll always be to her, “Please, please Mum! I can’t have any days off. Under any circumstances, I need to finish this film!”

Tom turns to his younger brother for help. “Tell her, Harry!”

And as little brothers do best, Harry spills the beans as soon as Tom’s phone is in clutch. “Tom’s fallen in love with the first A.D., Y/N.”

Nikki immediately loses her frown, knowing how love can knock Tom off his feet and blow all the wind out of him. Tom’s father, Dom, re-enters the frame to match Nikki’s grin. He never misses an opportunity to tease. “Oo, caught a case of the love bug, have you?”

Harry has to whip the phone around to dodge Tom’s protesting arms reaching for it again. “Don’t listen to Harry. I’m not in love. I just like Y/N.”

“A lot.” Harry mutters. Tom’s family doesn’t budge any further, knowing how bad Tom was hurt after his last relationship. They weren't sure when the love bug would come back to bite him again. So after they all shared a knowing look, Harry handed Tom his phone back. “I’ll keep you updated. Bye, Mum.”

It all started five weeks ago. Tom, at 24, was beginning to feel like love was trudging up a high hill he couldn’t come down from, where every beat of heart was feeling like an ache on an open wound. Tom had yet to meet a lover to prove distance makes the heart grow fonder, finding himself in six month long entanglements and illusions of love before things inevitably went sour.

He’d say, perhaps, you were the closest thing to the real deal. The problem was, he didn’t know if you liked him back.

“When life was beginning, I saw -”

“When life was-”

“When life was be-fuck!”

“When life was beginning, I saw you.”

Tom could make a picture book out of the day he first met you. He remembers how your hair looked that day, the speckles of genuinity in your eyes, how your ear-to-ear smile seemed to be a mirror because every time he saw you from then on, he brandished the same beam. He recalls how his eyes went low as he dropped his script to his lap and stared at your lips, so soft and kissable, as you repeated his words back to him: “When life was beginning, I saw you.” Then you chuckled softly as Tom waited patiently for his head and his heart to return to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m dyslexic. I have a bit of trouble reading.”

“It’s cool, I'm the first A.D. That’s what I’m here for.”

You rubbed your hands on the back of your trousers, your mic jostling in your back pocket as you attempted to rid yourself of your nervous, sweaty palms.

“I’m Y/N.” You reached out for a shake only for Tom to cough loudly into his own hand.

“Fuck! I’m so sorry! That wasn’t me trying to get out of your handshake. I- I-.” Tom looked at his hand for it had failed him for the first time in his life. His hand that had helped him up during handstands, being his crutch through cartwheels and backflips, but had decidedly run out of luck to be on the receiving end of Tom’s monstrous cough impending a handshake with someone his eyes just couldn’t look away from.

You laugh again. Your laugh sounds like melody, Tom muses. Awestruck, he wishes he could play it again, repeat it like a radio hit and never wash himself of the feeling he got when he heard your laugh for the first time.

“It’s all good. I’ll see you around.” You disappear from his trailer, likely on a venture to your own, when Joe and Anthony block his view of you walking away.

Anthony and Joe take on the ghost of you in Tom’s room, “Tom! The man, the myth and the legend!” Joe comes behind him to rub his newly hairless head. “We’re so glad you agreed to do this movie!”

“Bummed that you’re not coming to the Browns game tonight, though.” Anthony remarks, throwing a football at Joe who sets it in his lap.

“Harry and I, we’re British, mate. We play football with our feet.”

Joe doesn’t know it then, but his next words are the beginning of the end for Tom. He rubs on his football and looks Tom in his eye when he poses, “It’s a shame ‘cause the whole crew’s going. First day of filming celebrations.”

“The whole crew?”

Anthony mumbles an ‘mhm’ as he picks up a framed photo of Tom and RDJ sitting pretty on Tom’s dresser, posing like father and son.

Tom’s usually self assured when he’s on set, but he’s hesitant to say this next improvised line. His voice trails off as he speaks. “Including Y/N?”

“Y/N?” Joe queries, with a smile that’s half scary and half comforting, and the butterflies in Tom’s stomach are begging him not to fuck this up and suddenly every second a word is not spoken feels like hours have passed and he might have ruined things before they’ve even started, gosh he just met you and-

Tom tries to play it cool. “I don’t- they’re cool.” Tom coughs again. “I mean, I don’t really know them but Y/N seems cool I guess.”

Anthony and Joe smile at each other, scrambling to exit. “Whole crew’s going, baby!” Joe beams.

“Please don’t tell Y/N I asked!” Tom shouts before they’re out of earshot.

“Yeah, yeah. Anthony, go long!”

A few hours later, Tom was sitting next to an unamused Harry, you on his left, foam fingers pointing every which way.

“Are you a big football fan?” Tom asked, imposter syndrome creeping up on him. He had the best seats in the house, but knew not a thing about this sport he’d come down to watch. Meanwhile, crew and crowd alike sat themselves around you guys, cheering leaving throats raw for days to come and a tussle for a foam finger between Joe and Anthony leading to hundreds of sugary popcorn shells scattered on the stadium floor.

“I mean, I wouldn’t ever turn down the option to look at Odell Beckham Jr. Are you?” you replied.

Tom looked over to his brother who sat with his chin in his hand, lips pulled into a thin straight line as his rusty curls were blown about from the wind of brown and orange flags flown from fans behind him. “We could learn to love it.” Tom flashed you a toothy grin, unsure of where to guide the conversation next. He knew for sure that he wanted to keep talking to you, but his ego began putting up a fight, eager to show himself off if you’d have him in any way. Tom sighed. “Truth is, we have no fucking clue what’s going on.” Tom could hear the commentary about a player reaching the end zone, but they were all just words that went into one ear then came straight out of the other.

You giggled. “I have no idea either. We could make up our own rules if you want.”

Tom likes the way you think. He also likes the way you speak. He loves the way you laugh.

“You have a beautiful laugh.”

You covered your mouth. “Oh, fuck, I hate my laugh!”

“I’d make you laugh a thousand times if I could.”

You pointed to the jumbo screen as Mayfield made a touchdown, unable to stop laughing from sheer nerves as you felt Tom’s hot, burning haze on you. An advert for Cleveland’s Own Phoenix Coffee flashed on the screen as you spoke. “We’ll make our own rules. Every time we see the quarterback pick up the ball, we’ll cheer.”

By the end of the night, Tom is speechless, breathless and over the edge of his chair in faux excitement and anticipation of the quarterback receiving the ball once again.

“Another coffee?” The service worker asked.

“Yes please!” You and Tom both say in unison, pumped as the quarterback began circling around to collect the ball in open arms.

The footage of the game is cut abruptly as the camera points to a confused, solo Harry; Anthony and Joe are seen at the edge of the frame whispering suggestively and pointing towards Tom, the camera eventually capturing the superstar who looks back up at his own reflection. Poorly green screened hearts flood the screen and the camera pans to include you in the frame too. Tom looks on in horror when he realises what’s going on and how it could be too late, and turns to you.

“I promise I didn’t know this was going on. We don’t have to.” Tom panics.

You hear him loud and clear, that you don’t have to, but your heart and eleven thousand people are telling you to kiss him otherwise. “Oh well. We should just do it.” you murmur, the bright pink ‘KISSCAM’ logo flashing in and out.

It doesn’t take more than a moment for the gap between you and Tom to close, for your face to get lost behind his, his lips pressing against yours, eyes closed, trusting each other to share your air. This was probably the first thing that night worth cheering for, howls and whistles erupting around you.

Tom doesn’t understand American football, but he thinks that the best seats in the house could be anywhere next to you.

Harry’s on the phone to his twin brother, Sam, when you and the rest of the crew make it back to the hotel later on. “-Yeah, and Tom spent half the night with the first A.D. cheering and screaming at fuck all.”

The Cleveland Browns lost that night, but Tom remains none the wiser. He stood in the doorway as Harry continued to relay his day to Sam. “Oh, and Tom, Mum said to give her a call, eavesdropper.” He flicks Tom’s reddening nose before closing the door.

A week and a half later, Tom reckons that's why he’s sick. He never has the time anymore to attend ‘real’ football games back home, and he actually understands the game back in Britain. But now, he’s cheered at almost every given opportunity to impress you stupidly, and his chest and voice is suffering as a consequence.

You and Tom walked onto set with your pinkies intertwined, growing closer and closer by the minute, but Tom doesn’t miss how Ciara’s boyfriend visits set every day for her, doesn’t miss how they rub their nose together in this lovey-dovey affection he wishes he could bestow upon you.

The scene wasn’t working.

The crew was beginning to grow restless and Tom silently became more frustrated as the minutes went by and he was unable to get his lines right. He remembers how a week ago, it felt so easy. You were there to correct him when he stumbled upon his lines and you picked him up so effortlessly, a twinkling smile on your face. But then? Then you were different. Your eyes were scrunched up behind the lens of the camera and you were mumbling something to Anthony about how the sun was due to go down in Ohio soon so you needed to hurry along.

“Alright.” you announced. “Take five!”

And Tom was thankful, Ciara perched upon a swing for the scene they were filming, Tom dwindling the rope of the swing under his finger as her boyfriend approached her once again. “Hey dude, are you okay?”

Ciara looked at Tom with the same concern, hands finding home in her boyfriend’s nest of hair. “Yeah, Tom, are you okay?”

Tom coughed into his hand. “Yeah, guys, I’m good.”

“I think you’re coming down with a nasty cough.” Ciara muttered.

“Yeah. It’s you guys. You’re too cute. You make me sick.” Tom laughed humourlessly for a short while, wanting to be that adorable with someone, maybe not anyone, maybe just with you someday. Then Tom shook his head, a bitter feeling in his throat as he yawned. “It’s the Browns game. I was yelling and screaming every time a quarterback got the ball. Of course I’m a little unwell. I’ll be good as new in a few days though.”

Ciara already knew Tom wasn’t playing a man with the healthiest of habits, but she worried that Tom was getting this bad this early. “Maybe you should talk to the first A.D. about reducing shoot days from five to three?”

Tom didn’t like the prospect of seeing you less. “Yeah.” Harry had a clapperboard between his hands, leading Tom’s eyebrows to furrow as his brother yelled something about it being take 13. “Maybe.”

Harry resumed to a new position in your chair, with you taking Harry’s place right across from Tom, a coffee waiting for him when the scene was over like Harry always did. Ciara’s boyfriend left the frame to watch supportively on the sidelines.

“Lights. Camera. Action!” Anthony called. “Time is money, you guys! Let’s try to get this one right this time.”

They’d been over this already twelve times today.

“Hey, I’m really happy you’re here.”

Ciara read her line back. “Why’s that?”

Tom could hear whispers of the crew, the sound guy glaring at them in case they were picked up in the scene, and he knew it had something to do with the fact that he couldn’t for some reason get the next line out all day. And that reason, unbeknownst to everyone, was because Tom couldn’t say something he didn’t mean - feeling like his heart was locked in a cage for which only you had the key. He looked past his co-star, Ciara, and up at you; feeling so close but you were far away, leaving him all day without anything to say. And overcoming his speechlessness and breathlessness, even in just that moment, he ran his hand over the rope to say, “Cause I like you. A lot.”

Ciara and the rest of the crew broke into a wide smile once Tom finally spoke his next line, but the only person Tom was focused on was you, who wasn’t smiling, but mouthing his words back to him.

Ciara breathed, “Shut up.”

And Tom’s sure to look you in the eye when he says, “I really do.”

When the filming for the day is said and done, Tom makes a beeline for you across the greenery. You hand over his coffee to him, “It’s a little cold now, but a warm hand is holding it.”

Tom quirks an eyebrow. “Are you inviting me to hold your hand?”

“Don’t push your luck.”

“You swapped jobs with Harry, I saw.”

“Yeah, well. It’s good he gets to grips with the job now. You know, in case anything changes.” You pulled your phone out of your pocket. “I should probably give you my number. In case anything changes.”

“Oh no, yeah. Your number is?”

“216-XXX-XXX. Speaking of changes, I heard you’re trying to get your days reduced.”

“You were eavesdropping?” Tom looks at your face that bears no trace of guilt. “You’re just like me!” He pulls you close.

“Tom, if what happened today is because you’re working too much, I’m happy to reduce your time.”

“Nah, nah.” Tom sniffles, rubbing his nose on a jacket probably worth more than your life. “I’m just a bit sick, s’all. I’ll be fine.”

Two weeks pass and Tom’s no better. With the Cleveland game nearly a month ago, Tom has nothing to blame and as first A.D., you’re obligated to reduce his hours. Tom’s on the phone with his mother when you approach his trailer.

“Don’t listen to Harry. I’m not in love. I just like Y/N.”

“A lot. I’ll keep you updated. Bye, Mum.”

You’re so quick to skip happily back to your trailer that you miss Harry calling out to his brother, he’s his protector now that his mother was countries apart. “Tom?” Harry starts.

Tom mumbles an ‘mhm’, hoping Harry would make it quick as he sees you FaceTiming him. If only his mother could see him like this. He’d get to call her tomorrow and tell her he’d called you for the first time yesterday, he could hardly wait to utter, 'I've finally found the missing part of me’. Harry sighs as the FaceTime ringing is relentless. Tom’s eyebrows threaten to meet in the middle of his face as he clutches onto his phone.

“Tom.” Harry begins. “Y/N is giving up assistant director.”

Tom’s really not sure where Harry gets the source of his information from, but he’s sure this isn’t true. He thinks you’d tell him before his brother if you were leaving the film behind, leaving him behind.

The film is due to move filming to Morocco soon, and Tom’s well aware that not all film crew joins them when production moves abroad, but to Tom, you’re an extension of this movie universe. And Tom refuses to leave the memories of you in this filming cycle. “How’d you know?”

“I’m taking over.” Tom’s screen lights up with the glow of your call, and as bright as it is, as bright as you are, as bright as your smile surely is on the other end of the phone call, Tom’s in his deepest darkest feelings wondering how he fooled himself into thinking romance could go right for him this time.

He’s going to Morocco. You’re not. You’re funny, smart, promising, beautiful. You’ll find someone good for you, a better pair by the time he’s back.

“That doesn’t mean it won’t work out, man.” Tom sulks in his bed, the light from your constant calls bleeding through his bed sheets. “I just wanted to warn you.” Tom nods, screaming into his pillow. Harry decides that’s his cue to leave, a glimmer of light from outside seeping through the crack of the door as Harry escorts himself. Tom musters all his might and courage to reluctantly answer your phone, the ear-to-ear grin he knows so well greeting him once again.

Suddenly, he forgot how to speak. Hopeless, breathless, couldn’t you see that?

“Tom?” You call out his name a few times before cutting straight to the point. “Do you like me?”

Tom shifts slightly but not enough to show that he’s alarmed. “Huh? Yeah, I like you.”

He sits up, but doesn’t reciprocate the outrageous smile you wear like a heart on your sleeve. Tom’s eyes are sunken, dark circles forming under his eyes where he and his disturbed character become one. You suddenly remember why you shouldn’t have run away so fast, perhaps Tom was overworking himself. He continues, “But I’m an emotionally unavailable hopeless romantic. So I wouldn’t waste your time on me.”

Tom can’t help the hurt in his heart when he sees your smile drop so suddenly, knowing it was earnest. “Tom, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying, life is unfair. And I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead. We wouldn’t work out. And I like our friendship now. We should stay that way.”

You’re not convincing when you nod rapidly, not letting Tom see your face as you play with your fingers to avoid his gaze. “Yeah, I agree.” You’re much less convincing when the last frame Tom caught of you was a shot of tears dripping down your face, as three rings followed you. Tom’s screen went black in your absence, and Tom falls asleep with eyes even redder from crying, and he wonders when he’s gonna shake this sickness.

It’d been a few days since Tom had got his shots to allow him to go to Morocco. He sat opposite the doctor on set, a coffee cup placed on the desk between him.

Tom reckons that's why he’s sick. Shots always have their side effects, and he’d taken multiple shots in one day. And now, he specifically asked for you to hold his hand during the process, Harry branded in a glinting jaw-drop, only for you to leave directly after.

“I’m speechless, constantly feeling over the edge, breathless.” Tom explains his symptoms to the doctor. “At first I thought it was because of that stupid football game, then all the coffee I’m drinking, now I don’t know if it’s the shots. I feel like shit, doc.”

“I know exactly what you’re dealing with.”

“What?”

“Lovebug.”

Tom stares at the doctor in utter bewilderment. “You figured that out based on my symptoms?”

“I figured that out based on the puppy dog eyes you gave for your first A.D. when they left without a word.” The doctor begins to laugh softly, but Tom is unamused. How is he supposed to shake this illness after completely ruining your relationship? How is he supposed to mend your bond after talking so recklessly, so emotionally? “Tom, I’m not here to be a fairy godmother, I’m being strictly medical. At a certain point, what you feel in your mind affects your body. So I prescribe that you talk to Y/N and say everything you need to say.”

And while that seemed easy enough, Tom’s ego was at work again, and Tom was feeling far too bruised and wounded to speak to you first. Surely if you cared enough, if you liked him back, if you were willing to be distanced, you would reach out first.

It seems Tom’s pride had forgotten that you already did.

“I heard that this is the exact shit that happened in Cleveland, and he couldn’t get the line out.” Tom hears the whisperings from behind the camera, the amount of familiar faces in the crew dwindling after the change in location. He doesn’t respond. He waits for someone to take five. And when no one throws him a bone, he asks Harry to.

“Alright, everyone take five.”

“Someone get this kid a fucking coffee, he’s always on edge.” Joe instructs.

“And you think giving a kid in twenties coffee is taking him off edge?” Anthony chuckles.

Tom doesn’t care whether or not he gets the coffee, rocking side to side. He’s got all the motion for this role, but he feels nothing. All he felt was for you.

“Here.” Harry sets a Moroccan mint tea down next to Tom, hoping it would calm him down. When Tom takes a few sips, the look in his eyes is less pleading, and everyone’s ready to rumble, this being the last scene of the day.

Harry feeds Tom the line. “Baby, are you seeing bad things?” Tom is seeing bad things. A life without love, a life without you. Unable to contain it all, Tom turns his frustration into laughter. “Why are you calling me baby for, man?” Tom has this ear-to-ear grin but even he feels it's not as innocent, as genuine as yours. He never knew a smile so wide could be so full of pain.

“I have an idea.” Harry saunters off to collect his phone. “Don’t stop rolling the cameras.”

When Harry comes back, there’s sounds of shifting erupting from his phone. “Hi, Tom.”

Tom didn’t know it would be so bittersweet to hear your voice again. He wasn’t sure if he should put walls up again or if twice was the charm. Even if you worked out in the short term, whose to say Tom wouldn’t get hurt again? And Tom wouldn’t want to hurt you.

“Are they taking good care of you out there? I don’t think I took good care of you.” Tom doesn’t say anything on the other side of the line, so you continue. “I’m not a good A.D. if you’re always sick and tired, and I didn’t want to see you any less, which was selfish of me, so I didn’t change your schedule.” You sigh as you admit why you left. “When you asked, though, I swear I was gonna do it, but then I heard you liked me, and I got carried away. I had to remove myself from the situation to do what’s best for you. Do you understand me? I did it for you.”

“I, uh, I got a diagnosis.” Tom stumbles.

“Oh my gosh, are you seriously sick?”

“I’m speechless. Over the edge, breathless.” Tom laughed dryly, finally feeling like he can choose an ending.

“What did they say it was?”

“Lovebug.” Harry smiles softly at his brother.

Your laugh is like nectar entering Tom’s ear.

“I might just love you way too much, Y/N.”

“Are you sure you’re doin’ okay?” Tom tries his best not to sound dejected that you didn’t say it back, knowing he’s already felt the brunt of this heartache already.

“I just miss you, that’s all.”

“I miss you too. I love you.” Joe stops recording, and Harry lowly whispers ‘take.fucking.five.’ as he and the crew creep away from Tom’s new found love scene.

“Anthony, can I borrow your phone?” Harry begins to type Nikki’s number as soon as Anthony gives over the phone. “Mum, Tom just told the first A.D. he’s in love with them so guess who’s out of a job?”

Tom knows why he’s sick. He used to feel like love was trudging up a high hill he couldn’t come down from, where every beat of heart was feeling like an ache on an open wound. Tom had yet to meet a lover to prove distance makes the heart grow fonder, finding himself in six month long entanglements and illusions of love before things inevitably went sour. But now, Tom has found you.

#tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland angst #peter parker angst #peter parker imagine #lolbrosgetsicktoo

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hcurly · 4 years

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♡ 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚎(𝚖𝚎) — 𝚘𝚘𝚌 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚎.

In which Nikki could not get all three of her muses in one gif and @ariagrans comes through. ( @hollywoodland-hqs )

How long have you been roleplaying?

I feel like I was roleplaying before I even knew what it was. So, 10 years, probably.

What are your hobbies outside of writing?

I am the most boring person ever. Lately I just work, sleep, and play Animal Crossing. I have a horrible attention span for some things, but I do enjoy reading when I have the energy to pick up a new book, watching TV shows (I love Barry and rewatched it a couple times, and have SNL playing a lot) and movies, faves being drama, horror and comedies. I also admittedly watch John Mulaney’s comedy specials far too often, is that a hobby?

Do you have any pets? Tell us about them!

I live with my 5 year old dog Lucy (demon diva pug) and my family’s dog, Misty (wholesome black lab/pit mix pupper who is actually 9). We also have my sister’s ancient rabbit, Oliver, and our even more ancient turtle Speedy living with us.

If you had a month of free time to learn to do something new, what would you choose?

Sadly, I just had this and didn’t do it.. but, if I had a month of free time AND ambition / a will to actually do something, I’d love to relearn guitar and ukelele. I own both and I’m clueless to them now. I also would love to get into photography. Anything creative, I guess!

Do you listen to music while you write? What are three songs on your playlist?

Most of the time! Which is why my replies are probably a mess sometimes, oops. I have playlists for different ships, and am slowly working on muse playlists. Most of the time, though, I just listen to what I feel like at the time. Three random songs I’ve listened to most recently: Falling by Harry Styles, Liability by Lorde, everything i wanted by Billie Eilish. Yes, I’m a sad bitch sometimes.

What’s a favorite recent youtube video/channel?

I love Dylan Is In Trouble and his movie commentaries cheer me up. I also enjoy watching a lil bit of Buzzfeed Unsolved because Shane and Ryan are everything and true crime / the supernatural is interesting to me.

Tell us one random fact about you!

Some people know this already, but my only tattoo is on my forearm and it’s in Harry Styles’ handwriting. It says “all the love” and I got it just over 5 years ago. Dedication to my muse, check.

Who is an FC you’ve always wanted to use but haven’t yet?

Uhhh. I most recently picked up the ones I would’ve answered for this, so. Probably a female FC, but I’m not great at playing them therefore there’s always hesitation. Sophie Turner, perhaps. I also have FCs I’ve played years ago and would adore playing again for nostalgia, but I don’t think I’d get a good grip on them again. I guess that one would go to Brendon Urie.

What’s a plot you’ve always wanted to write but haven’t yet?

MORE ANGSTY STUFF. IDK.

Do you have a favorite plot you’ve seen someone else in the group do?

The Evan/Billie plot had me all whaaaaat. So, maybe that! But I genuinely enjoy seeing everyone’s muses and/or ships blossom, no matter what. ( @evanpeaters, @goodlourd )

Who on the dash makes you smile?

Is it cheating to say literally everyone? I think of this group as a family and am really happy writing with everyone. Some I’ve been writing with forever, and others I just simply love dearly. I’ll tag a few URLs I remember off of the top of my head, but this truly goes for everyone. ( @ariagrans , @ohlizzo , @itsgenevievegnt , @jocklowden , @hqnessa , @diannahq , @larsonhqs )

What is your favorite memory in the group?

I’ve been here since day 1, and seeing this place open and strive to become a safe haven in the RPC has to be the best memory. But from then on, I’ve loved stuff like group trips that allow everyone to interact.

What’s your favorite thing about your celeb(s)?

Harry Styles: I love how kind this man is. He truly has a heart of gold, and I try to showcase that as much as I can through writing him. I’ve stanned my lil Harry for so long, and seeing him become the person that he is makes me happy.

Bill Hader: This guy. I just love him, idk man. I could listen to his dumb laugh on repeat and the talent that he has amazes me. Cliche answer, but my favorite thing about him would be his personality. He can be serious but he also has that silly, funny side everyone loves and I think he’s well rounded and just such a delight. I adore him.

John Mulaney: I really like how open he is, especially with things that he’s struggled with and how he’s overcome them. I know he gives a lot of people hope that whatever they’re going through, it can be possible to come out on the other side. Watching him do stand up gets me out of dark times and I truly love him with my entire heart. One of my favorite people ever.

What’s a plot you miss?

I miss playing Joe and having Jack be savage as hell to him. I just miss playing him so much in general sometimes. #RIPJoe ( @jocklowden )

What would you love to see this group do in the future?

Group events are my favorite, so, stuff like trips, etc, never get old to me. I love having all my muses in one place and having some stuff sprinkled out during the week that they can chat about and get everyone involved. Maybe something like a Hollywood Land yearbook would be fun, a blog of some memories and superlatives that match our muses. To play off what Ina said, completely AU work projects that everyone could be on together sounds fun, like a movie with a random plot with directors, writers, actors, musicians on the soundtrack with a premiere at the end of it. I HAVE NO IDEA? Just... lovely group things that make my heart go whoooosh and make people feel loved and involved.

#( out of styles )#( ooc meme )#( appreciation week )

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hazyheel · 5 years

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WWE Smackdown Live 8/20/19 Review

Randy Orton promo: he called Kofi Kingston a coward for getting himself counted out in their match at Summerslam. He continuously called him stupid, over and over again. As he was finishing up, the New Day music hit, and Kingston ran in and attacked from behind with a Trouble in Paradise. He was going to try to destroy his ankle with a chair, but the Revival ran down to make the save. So, Kingston just beat them with a chair for their trouble.

Grade: C+. Short and mildly sweet. Orton cut a pretty good promo, with a lot of fire, but ultimately it didn’t add much to the story. The attack was nice and made sense. But the story didn’t really need this promo, unless Orton is going to constantly call Kingston stupid from now on.

Kevin Owens & Shane McMahon backstage: the two talked about Owens’ fine from last week. Owens said that he wasn’t there to cause trouble, and he asked Shane to reconsider the fine. Shane actually said that he would consider it. I wasn’t a huge fan of this, because Owens wasn’t the badass son of a bitch that he usually is. It makes sense that he would do this, but it wasn’t very cool, if I’m being frank.

Andrade vs. Apollo Crews in the first round of the 2019 King of the Ring: Zelina Vega was in Andrade’s corner. Crews started the match with a huge lariat right at the bell, but only getting a near fall. Andrade responded with the running double knees for a near fall of his own. Crews tried to fight back, but Andrade tied him up in the ropes with an armbar. Andrade then tried to hit some high flying offense, but Crews caught him with a dropkick. The story of this match seemed to be that Crews new exactly what Andrade would throw at him, as he was constantly able to counter his moves. Crews hit a nice combination of strikes, followed by an olympic slam for a near fall. As Andrade went to the top, Crews hit a huge ensiguri, and went for a gorilla press, but his arm gave out. From there, Crews went for some sort of move, but Vega grabbed his leg for the distraction. Andrade then hit the back elbow and the Hammerlock DDT for the win.

Grade: B+. Really good stuff here, both guys gave this match everything they had, and for such a short match, they pulled it off. They had a fast paced contest that was very exciting. They also told a good story of Crews being able to best Andrade at every turn, only for the interference of Vega to be the deciding factor. This could be the penultimate point in their feud, but due to the interference, I think they have one more match in them.

Daniel Bryan and Rowan backstage: the two led a figure with his head covered into an empty room. They said that they will reveal what he did tonight. So that is presumably the culprit.

Elias backstage: he was just walking around playing guitar, when he grabbed a random dude and unzipped his jacket, revealing a referee’s shirt. He then found Drake Maverick in a box nearby. He then beat Maverick up a little bit, and told him that the 24/7 championship rules were suspended for the night. He then put him back in the box and left. That is incredibly annoying and a great heel move.

Moment of Bliss: Alexa Bliss hosted alongside NIkki Cross. Bliss talked about how they were humble champions, saying that her show would be for the less fortunate people who don’t have belts. Charlotte Flair was welcomed as their guest. Charlotte said that the King of the Ring throne was more like her type of chair, which Bliss largely ignored. Charlotte said that she took the torch from Trish Stratus at Summerslam, and proved that she is the queen of all eras. She then talked about Bayley, saying that she the face of the brand over the champion. She called Bayley an afterthought, which brought Bayley out with them. She said that Charlotte was just making excuses. She said that she was better than Charlotte, and Charlotte responded that her match with Stratus at Summerslam was what people were talking about. She then challenged Bayley for the Smackdown Women’s Championship at Clash of Champions, which Bayley accepted. Bayley then pushed Charlotte out of her chair and the two left.

Grade: B-. Charlotte’s promo skills are awesome, and she made some really good points about why she should be the next contender. Should be a really good match, and one that I’m unsure of who the winner will be.

Buddy Murphy Backstage: Roman Reigns came up to him, and asked him about who attacked him. Murphy said he was pretty sure that it was Rowan, but he didn’t know for sure. Reigns said that if he was lying again, he would kick Murphy’s ass.

Buddy Murphy vs. Daniel Bryan: Rowan was in Bryan’s corner. Before the match, Bryan got on the mic and insulted Murphy for not being certain whether or not Rowan was the attacker. Then he confirmed that they will reveal the culprit, and said that Murphy had something to do with it too. The match started and Murphy took Bryan’s head off with a high knee for a near fall. The two then had a match that was full of stiff strikes and kicks the entire time. At one point, Murphy gave Bryan a huge meteora off the top for a near fall. Bryan then locked in a Lebell lock on Murphy, tying him up in a similar manner to Zack Sabre Jr, just pulling all of his limbs as far away from the ropes as he could. Bryan then gave Murphy the Yes kicks, but as he went for the final kick, Murphy dodged it and hit a hook kick. So then Bryan put Murphy in the tree of woe, giving him a series of kicks and a low dropkick to the face. He followed it up with a back drop superplex for a near fall. Bryan tried for another superplex, but Murphy slid out of it and hit cheeky nandos kicks, and then a powerbomb out of the corner for a near fall. The two then traded blows over and over again in the middle, both hitting huge combinations that ended with a pair of knees and a brainbuster from Murphy, but Bryan got his foot on the ropes. Rowan hopped up on the apron, which distracted Murphy enough to net a rollup. Murphy kicked out and gave Rowan a superkick. Bryan rolled him up again, but Murphy kicked out again, delivered a huge knee and then Murphy’s law for the huge upset.

After the match, someone tried to interview Buddy Murphy, but Rowan attacked and gave him the iron claw backstage.

Grade: A. This was a pay per view match that they held on smackdown. The action was incredibly exciting and the hits were very very hard. They kicked the living crap out of each other. Murphy had back to back great matches in two weeks, so they better give him a push out of this. He is a great talent, and probably a future WWE champion if they put faith in him. He is a top star, and they need to see that in him. A huge win, and a good way to forward his feud with Bryan and Rowan. I don’t know how much longer it will continue, but I am really into it.

Heavy Machinery vs. The Revival: both Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson had taped up ribs for this match, due to Kingston’s attack earlier in the night. Before the match, the Revival got on the mic and called the New Day cowards. They insulted Big E and Xavier Woods for the attack from Raw. They then issued a challenge for the Smackdown Tag Team Championships at Clash of Champions. Heavy Machinery then came out to interrupt. Otis started out with Wilder. The faces worked over the heels’ ribs, and gave them stereo vertical suplexes to start things off. Also during this match, commentary coined the team name of the Revival and Randy Orton as #FTRKO. If only they would tell us what #FTR means (Fuck the Revival). We saw some nice hot tags from Otis and Tucker alike. The finish kinda came out of nowhere, as Dawson ran interference on the compactor, so Tucker took him down with a Thesz press, only for Wilder to run up to him and get him in a pinning predicament for the win.

Grade: C+. Fine match, nothing really of note here. Nice to see some other tag teams be represented.

Chad Gable interview: He mostly talked about how he was an underdog, but the story here was the Shelton Benjamin, his super weird opponent for the King of the Ring first round match, was doing stuff in the background. First, he just gave him a weird look, but then he put a sign on his door that said “you must be this tall to be in the king of the ring tournament.” Weird to make this the story when the two are literally former tag team partners. Shelton will probably win their match, and given his weird promos lately, he might actually win.

Miz TV: Sami Zayn was the guest for the show this time around. Zayn immediately crapped all over the show, so Miz pointed out that he has done nothing but lose lately. Zayn said that while that was true, he realized that he needs to help other people rather than try to attain success. So, he decided to start managing, and his first client is Shinsuke Nakamura. So I guess Nakamura has a mouthpiece now, which he definitely needed. Miz asked why Nakamura would need Zayn if he is already champion, but Zayn responded by saying that he is needed because of the language barrier. He said that Nakamura is a poet, and it kills him inside that he can express himself. So Zayn will help him with that. Miz refused to listen to Zayn, so Nakamura kicked him in the head and nailed a Kinshasa. He continued to stomp on him in the corner until Zayn pulled him away, and nailed another after the fact.

Grade: B-. Fine segment and an interesting new pairing. Zayn hasn’t been doing much of anything lately, so this is a fine role for him. Nakamura did need a mouthpiece, and Zayn is great at that. This could be a fun pairing, but we will have to wait and see how good it is.

Shane McMahon and Kevin Owens backstage again: Shane told Owens to apologize for attacking a WWE official, Elias at Summerslam. He also said that if he ever did it again, then he would be fired. Owens tried to shake his hand, but Shane refused.

Elias vs. Kevin Owens in the first round of the 2019 King of the Ring: the two started out with some of their usual offense, some striking mostly. Owens started to fire up a bit after some of Elias’s signatures, hitting a German suplex and a canonball for a near fall. Shane McMahon then came out so that he could watch from ringside. Elias still took control and maintained it throughout the match. At one point, Owens was looking for a Vader Bomb, but Elias caught him in an Electric Chair, and then spun him around into a powerbomb for a near fall. The tow then battled on the top rope until Elias fell off, but he still managed to get the knees up before a Swanton Bomb. The two then brawled to the outside, where Shane told him to leave Elias on the outside, and took off his shirt to reveal a referee’s shirt. He then replaced the ref and fast counted Owens during a role up for the win.

Grade: C. I bumped this up a bit because of the Shane stuff. He is being a good heel right now, and it was a creative ending to a mini story that had permeated the whole show. A lot of people don’t really like when stuff is overbooked, but I kinda do. Makes things interesting when done right, and this was. It was a good heel move, and it rose hostilities between Shane and Owens again. The match was pretty bleh though. Elias is probably out of the tournament next round.

Whodunnit reveal: Reigns joined Bryan and Rowan backstage for the reveal of his attacker, and it turned out to be a dead ringer for Rowan. What the flying fuck? W-why? Where is this going? Who is he? I have so many questions, and I am pretty confused.

Overall Grade: B-

Pros: Andrade vs. Crews; Murphy vs. Bryan; Zayn as a manager

Cons: main event; whodunnit reveal

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arukou-arukou · 7 years

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Fandom histories: Japan

So for those of you who don’t know, my specialty outside of fandom space is Japanese literature and right now I’m working my way towards a PhD. (*insert screaming gif here*) I think it’s really stupid to just absorb all this info, think about it, and then do nothing with it, so I’m going to try to share my occasional thoughts and feelings about the stuff I’m reading here. If that’s not your jam, you can block the tag “arukou attempts academia.” However, if you’re at all interested in knowing what the hell PhD students even do, please feel free to come with me on this weird bizarre journey. And feel free to ask questions if anything’s unclear. I’m trying to write in a way I think is more accessible, but if shit’s weird or unfamiliar, go ahead and hit me up for clarification. I’m also going to cross-post onto a tumblr exclusively for this, so if all you’re interested in is the Japanese Lit and not the fannish stuff, you can head over there and follow. On with the talk!

I know we talk a lot about “Classical fanfic” in the Western canon--Milton and Dante were writing fanfic of the Bible, just about every major poet has written poetry about the Greek/Roman deities at some point in time or another, philosophers have imagined conversations with Plato and Aristotle. But Japan has also been plugging away at its RPF for more than a thousand years.

(THERE IS A READ MORE)

In class today we read The Tales of Ise, which is considered one of the three foundational pieces of literature from the Heian period (794-1185, give or take). We do not know who composed the Tales, partially because they were gradually compiled over the course of a century. They were eventually completed in the mid-900s and tell the story of Ariwara no Narihira.

Ariwara no Narihira was a real dude who lived from 825-880 and his major claim to fame is erotic and otherwise elegant poetry. The guy was a connoisseur, and notoriously slept with all sorts of people he shouldn’t have, including the Ise Virgin and the daughter of a Fujiwara, which, suffice to say, is not a family you want to be on the wrong side of. A sampling of his Fresh, Hot Sex Poetry (TM):

1) The reddish glow on the lower petals of the white chrysanthemum-- it looks like the sleeve of the one who plucked it

2) I am reputed to be like a sacred wand, and yet though it may drift is there not a shallow where the wand rests at last?

...It’s very sexy and erotic, I promise.

So we know from historical accounts that because he ran afoul of the Fujiwara family, he was a bit of an exile, so instead of vying for political power, he chose to cultivate sexy poetry and get himself some lovely women. And it worked. Historical accounts also say of him that he was considered one of the most handsome men of the court, he was reputed as a shameless lady’s man, his poetry was widely respected (a very desirable quality in Heian times), and he was also incredibly egalitarian in spite of (or maybe because of) the rather rigid court class system.

After his death, his poetry was compiled into all sorts of volumes and collections, and somewhere in there, someone started adding commentaries giving historical context. At the same time, rumors of his adventures and deeds and conquests continued to circulate around the court. As more people added to the commentaries, which are usually just a line or two, they started embellishing. They wanted more context, more Narihira, more dashing poet lovers.

The result is the complete compiled Tales, which read as a bizarre pastiche of historical and fictional accounts praising Narihira for being good to his women, dissing the hateful Fujiwara’s, and making the best of exile to the distant Kanto plain. The transfiguration of the real into the fictional had its first round and Narihira was immortalized as the first great lover of Japanese literature.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

It’s theorized that The Tale of Genji, written in the early 1000s, was perhaps inspired by Narihira’s exploits in The Tales of Ise, and may be a more fleshed out exploration of what Murasaki Shikibu imagined the ideal(?) (that debate is for another day) man to be. And there’s fanfic of The Tale of Genji (the Sarashina nikki) that slightly post-dates that!

I think it says a lot about human nature that our impulses not only to immerse ourselves in the stories (real or fictional) that captivate us but to reimagine them and embellish them, to mold them into the stories we’d like to see next, can be traced back literally thousands of years. The more things change, the more they stay the same. And the better a guy treats his girlfriends, the more likely he is to be remembered a thousand years in the future.

That’s a terrible moral, don’t quote me on that.

#arukou attempts academia #japanese literature #classical japanese literature #japan #fandom history

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naughtyxnikki · 5 years

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Tag Dump 1

#{ naughty little nikki (visage) }#{ enjoys (likes) }#{ headcanon; }#{ catchy tune (music) }#{ desires; (wants) }#{ so many things in nikki's mind (musings) }#{ open rp }#{ ask meme }#{ wants to play with nikki (answered) }#{ who wants to play with Nikki? (starter call) }#{ nikki knows (dash commentary) }

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gamerssphere · 5 years

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2K Games is getting ready to release the latest entry in the WWE 2K series with WWE 2K20. This seems to be a rather ambitious project which will bring a lot of new features for gamers to enjoy.

MyPlayer & MyCareer

For the first time ever in the franchise, gamers will be able to create and play with a male and female MyPlayer in MyCareer mode.

youtube

Of course, if we’re bringing female characters for MyPlayer, it only means we should be able to have a Mixed Tag. This is coming, too. You’ll be able to play as both superstars, and you’ll team up together in different mixed tag team matches throughout your career.

Expect to go through 18 different chapters in your career, including aroun 100 different matches and interacting with over 40 WWE Superstars from every brand, as well as legends during this game mode.

At A Glance

[su_spoiler title=”MyCareer at a glance” style=”fancy”]

For the first time ever, create both a female and male MyPLAYER and take them through MyCAREER, playing storylines and matches as each character and occasionally teaming together with the all-new Mixed Tag match feature.

Unlock WWE Legends, Career specific Superstar attires, original characters and unique environments like “Hell’s Colosseum” and a special New Day themed arena.

At one point, Red and Tre cross through an interdimensional portal to try to find the Undertaker who hasn’t been seen in years, encountering various surprises along the way.

MyCAREER is fully voiced again, this year featuring performances from nearly over 40 WWE Superstars, NXT Superstars and legends in addition to over 15 original voiced roles. Interact with newly-voiced Superstars such as Ronda Rousey, The New Day, Becky Lynch, Adam Cole, Velveteen Dream, The IIconics, Samoa Joe and more.

Track Red and Tre’s career progress with “The List” – as teenagers Red and Tre write down all the goals they’d like to someday achieve, which later becomes their road map to success. Can you cross off their final list item and get inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame?

At certain points in MyCAREER, the decisions you make affect the matches Red and Tre compete in, who they team with, and possibly even lead to some alternate outcomes. Explore different choices to see what paths they might lead you down.

Podcasts are back this year, including “The Buzz and Cole Show” featuring the return of Buzz and Cole Quinn from WWE2K19’s MyCAREER.

[/su_spoiler]

[su_spoiler title=”By the numbers” style=”fancy”]

18 chapters

Approximately 100 total matches

Over 2,700 lines of dialogue

More than 900 lines of new commentary unique to MyCAREER matches and cutscenes

Over 270 cutscenes

Around 20 hours of total play-through time

34 career goals on Red and Tre’s List

1 bionic arm

[/su_spoiler]

Soundtrack

If there’s one piece of the game that becomes key for WWE 2K20 is its soundtrack. We are normally able to just leave the game running on the homepage and listen to all the cool music. This won’t be any different as we’ll have some nice music besides the obvious superstars’ entrance music.

WWE 2K20 will include the following 12 tracks:

Banks – “Gimme”

Barns Courtney – “99”

Bring Me The Horizon ft. Dani Filth – “Wonderful Life”

Grandson – “Stigmata”

Lil Uzi Vert – “XOTour Llif3”

Motley Crue ft. Machine Gun Kelly – “The Dirt”

Muse – “The Dark Side”

Poppy – “METAL”

Saweetie – “Icy Girl”

The Black Keys – “LO / HI”

The Misfits – “Hybrid Moments”

Watt ft. Post Malone – “Burning Man”

You can get this playlist on Apple Music.

What about My Universe?

I don’t know about all of you, but when it comes to WWE 2K games, I focus quite strongly on the Universe mode right after I’m done with MyCareer. This all means that we need a well debugged version of this game mode. Here’s everything you’ll get in this mode.

[su_spoiler title=”Universe Features” style=”fancy”]

Major and minor show match limits have increased from 7 to 9.

Pay-Per-View match limits have doubled from 7 to 14.

The number of championship titles per major show has increased from 6 to 7.

Simultaneous rivalries on major shows have increased from 3 to 4.

Pay-Per-Views can be co-hosted by up to 3 major shows versus the previous 2.

Players have more freedom to delete and add promos and matches.

50 of the most-used cutscenes have been reshot with female mocap actors to look more authentic when female Superstars are used.

25 new cutscenes have been added.

3,040 new promo lines are in the game.

Custom Matches can now be included in Match Tables, along with new Mixed Tag Matches.

New Championship Match setting in Match Tables can be used to make certain matches a title match.

Main Event matches in Match Tables have been tweaked so that those match types are more likely to occur on the show (Example: Royal Rumble match at the Royal Rumble Pay-Per-View).

New rivalry content includes options such as low-intensity enemies making peace after a single Pay-Per-View or low to mid-intensity allies slowly falling out over several weeks instead of a sudden turn.

The overall menu flow has been streamlined to make it more accessible to those new to Universe Mode. All deeper options are still available for experienced players.

[/su_spoiler]

What about the full roster?

Where should I begin with this?

youtube

We have a huge roster this time around. Let’s check out some lists:

Legends

[su_spoiler title=”Legends” style=”fancy”]

Jerry The King Lawler

Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase

The Rock

Latino Heat Eddie Guererro

Bret The Hitman Hart

Razor Ramon

Molly Holly

Ronda Rousey

Trish Stratus

The Undertaker

Andre The Giant

Batista

Beth Phoenix

Big Boss Man

Big Show

Booker T

Brutus beefcake

Christian

Chyna

Diesel

Dusty Rhodes

Edge

Goldberg

Hulk Hogan

Jake Roberts

Jim Neidhart

Kevin Nash

Kurt Angle

Lita

Mankind

Mark Henry

Mr. McMahon

Papa Shango

Randy Savage

Ric Flair

Ricky Steamboat

Rowdy Roddy Piper

Scott Hall

Shawn Michaels

[/su_spoiler]

Monday Night RAW

[su_spoiler title=”Spoilers” style=”fancy”]

Viking Raiders

AJ Styles

Bray Wyatt (Wyatt Family Version)

Akam

Alexa Bliss

Alicia Fox

Becky Lynch

Bobby Lashley

Booker T

Braun Strowman

Brie Bella

Brock Lesnar

Cesaro

Curt Hawkins

Dana Brooke

Dash Wilder

Drew McIntyre

EC3

Eric Young

Heath Slater

Jason Jordan

Jey Uso

Jimmy Uso

Gran Metalik

Kalisto

Karl Anderson

Baron Corbin

Lacey Evans

Lince Dorado

Luke Gallows

Maria Kanellis

Mojo Rawley

Naomi

Natalya

Nia Jax

Nikki Bella

No Way Jose

Rey Mysterio

The Miz

Rezar

Ricochet

Robert Roode

Ruby Riott

Sami Zayn

Samoa Joe

Sarah Logan

Sasha Banks

Scott Dawson

Seth Rollins

Shane McMahon

Stephanie McMahon

Tamina

Titus O’Neil

Triple H

Zack Ryder

[/su_spoiler]

SmackDown

[su_spoiler title=”Spoilers” style=”fancy”]

Zelina Vega

Luke Harper

Rowan

Daniel Bryan

Matt Hardy

Randy Orton

John Cena

Aleister Black

Ali

Andrade

Apollo Crews

Asuka

Baron Corbin

Bayley

Big E

Billie Kay

Bo Dallas

Buddy Murphy

Carmella

Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair

Curtis Axel

Dolph Ziggler

Elias

Ember Moon

Jeff Hardy

Jinder Mahal

Kairi Sane

Kane

Kofi Kingston

Lana

Lars Sullivan

Liv Morgan

Mandy Rose

Otis

Paige

Peyton Royce

R-Truth

Roman Reigns

Rusev

Sheamus

Shelton Benjamin

Shinsuke Nakamura

Sin Cara

Sonya Deville

Tucker

Xavier Woods

[/su_spoiler]

205 Live

[su_spoiler title=”Spoilers” style=”fancy”]

Akira Tozawa

Ariya Daivari

The Brian Kendrick

Cedric Alexander

Gentleman Jack Gallagher

Mark Andrews

Mike Kanellis

Noam Dar

Oney Lorcan

Tony Nese

[/su_spoiler]

NXT

[su_spoiler title=”Spoilers” style=”fancy”]

Io Shirai

Tommaso Ciampa

Matt Riddle

Adam Cole

Angelo Dawkins

Bianca Belair

Bobby Fish

Candace LeRae

Dakota Kai

Fandango

Finn Balor

Humberto Carrillo

Jaxson Ryker

Johnny Gargano

Kassius Ohno

Keith Lee

Kyle O’Reilly

Mia Yim

Montez Ford

Pete Dunne

Rhea Ripley

Roderick Strong

Shane Thorne

Shayna Baszler

Toni Storm

Trent Seven

Tyler Bate

Tyler Breeze

Velveteen Dream

[/su_spoiler]

Unlockables

[su_spoiler title=”Spoilers” style=”fancy”]

The Fiend

Wicked Alistair Black

Frankenstrowman

Survivor Mandy Rose

Twisted Nikki Cross

$500 Shirt The Rock

Chyna

Mankind

[/su_spoiler]

WWE 2K20 launches worldwide on Tuesday, October 22 for PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC.

All We Know About #WWE2K20 #gaming #WWE #2KGames 2K Games is getting ready to release the latest entry in the WWE 2K series with…

#2K Games #WWE #WWE 2K20

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wiildhearrted · 2 years

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“...why are people yelling about getting mated?”

#;open #;dash commentary #nikki you really need to call getting in a relationship something else #nikki:THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF MATING ITS NOT MY FAULT OTHER PEOPLE DONT KNOW

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gyrlversion · 5 years

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I had a brain tumour the size of a golf ball: Nikki Chapman

TV Presenter Nicki Chapman, 52, is not hosting the BBC’s coverage of The RHS Chelsea Flower Show this year because she is recovering from brain tumour surgery

TV presenter Nicki Chapman is as much a fixture of the Chelsea Flower Show — that annual extravaganza of horticultural brilliance — as its glorious perennial blooms.

Piloting viewers through the show gardens, interviewing medal winners, chatting to guests; her sunny commentary has brought a dash of down-to-earth charm to the programme for the past 13 years.

But next week, when the show opens, for the first time since 2006, she will not be hosting it. She has kept the reason secret until now, but today I can reveal that she will be absent from the BBC’s presenting team because she is recovering from major surgery to remove a brain tumour.

Just a week-and-a-half after her operation, I visit her at her home in West London.

I expect to find her wan, listless and reclining on a sofa with her head shaved. Actually, she’s standing in her sun-filled garden laughing. She looks as though she’s just returned from a restful holiday — fit and glamorous, her blonde hair sleek — not recuperating from a four-and-a-half hour op to remove a tumour the size of a golf ball from her brain.

‘Yes!’ she agrees brightly, ‘I thought I’d have to wear a comedy bandage round my head and look like a Smurf for two weeks, but they took it off after two days.

‘And I’m flabbergasted at how well I feel and how quickly I’ve recovered. I feel fantastic.

‘Two days after the surgery I was hallucinating slightly. People had funny Disney cartoon noses and there were things like fireworks at the corner of their eyes. It was just my sight re-adjusting. (It had been affected by the tumour.)

Nicki noticed a change in her vision and suffered worrying memory lapses before her diagnosis. She underwent the operation at Charing Cross Hospital in London at the beginning of May

‘Now I’m not even taking pain-killers. I walk a mile every day by the river and hope soon to do some gentle exercise at the gym.

‘The NHS care I’ve had at the Charing Cross Hospital in London has been first class. Amazing. And I’ve found an inner strength. My mum said: “I’m a tough old bird and you’re like me, Nicki.”’ She laughs.

‘But although I feel fine, my lovely surgeon has told me I shouldn’t go back to work for six weeks. You have to give yourself the best possible chance to heal, so I won’t be presenting the Chelsea Flower Show this year.

‘You start at 5am and it’s five 12-hour days, and I don’t think I could manage that yet. I’m devastated. I watched the preview and it made me cry. I’ve done it since 2006 and, of all the shows I present, it’s the one I really regret not being able to do. But I have to follow my doctor’s advice. You don’t get a second chance to recover.’

Everyone warms to Nicki — ‘that nice lady off the telly’, as she’s been known ever since she was a judge on Pop Idol in 2001 and refused to find fault with even the direst amateur contestants on the TV show.

This year will be the first since 2006 that Nicki Chapman is not presenting at the RHS Chelsea Flower Show (she is pictured at the 2015 show with Prince Charles)

And she is lovely: she’s there in the airy kitchen/living room of her glorious Victorian house cutting cakes into bite-sized chunks when I arrive, setting platters of fruit on the counter, cajoling me to eat.

The room is festooned with ‘get well’ flowers and cards, although only a close coterie of trusted friends and family know about her brain tumour. This is the first time she has talked publicly about it. Even her Chelsea Flower Show co-hosts are unaware of why she’ll be absent this year.

‘Joe Swift (the gardener and one of her co-presenters) said: “You’re not on the call sheet this year. Why aren’t you doing the show?” And I just said: “I’ve had an operation.”’

‘The NHS care I’ve had at the Charing Cross Hospital in London has been first class. Amazing. And I’ve found an inner strength,’ Nicki told Frances Hardy

She’s been similarly evasive with others. Announcing an operation to excise a brain tumour is jaw-dropping news. It is difficult both to impart and respond to.

‘But I’m talking about it now because, although I was petrified, I tried to stay positive. It was the worst news I’ve ever had in my life, but I thought: “We’re going to find a way through it.” And I really hope that other people who get a similar diagnosis have the excellent treatment I had, and find the same inner strength.

‘Someone told me: “If you go into an operation crying, you’ll wake up crying.” So my husband, Shacky (record company executive Dave ‘Shack’ Shackleton, 51, who also co-manages the rock band Iron Maiden) and I had a rule: you can only cry for 30 seconds.”

‘And I found a cutting in a magazine about the jockey Frankie Dettori. Before every race he’d say “I remain happy. I banish negative thoughts”, and I put it by on my bedside table in the hospital ward the night before my operation.

‘I just knew I was going to be fine.’

However, the onset of the symptoms of her tumour had been sudden and unnerving. The first sign that all was not well came at the end of March this year. Nicki noticed a change in her vision.

‘I couldn’t seem to move my eyes across a line of words to read them on my computer. And I struggled to type a response to emails. Shacky said I was probably just tired. Then I went for coffee with a girlfriend and asked her: “Do I look funny to you? I’m only looking at you with one eye.” But she said I looked fine.’

Nicki Chapman is pictured with her neuro-surgeon David Peterson two days after her operation to remove a golf ball sized brain tumour

Nicki, 52, also suffered worrying memory lapses. ‘I went to do a voice-over for Escape To The Country (one of the BBC shows she co-presents) and I couldn’t remember the name of John, the executive producer. I’ve known him for 15 years. I had to look it up on my phone.

‘Then I realised my speech was subtly affected. I was talking about a holiday we’d just had in Dubai. I could see the word Dubai in my mind, but I struggled to say it. I told myself it must be the menopause.

‘I told John about it and he asked if I suffer from migraines — I don’t — because he does and has similar problems. I did the voice-over, went home, did some housework then put on the computer and the words on it were blurred. Really, it all happened in the space of a couple of days.’

The next day Nicki rang her GP. Describing her symptoms — the memory lapses, speech problems and impaired vision — the doctor said she thought Nicki had suffered a stroke and urged her to go directly to A&E at her nearest hospital, Charing Cross in Hammersmith.

Nicki leaving Charing Cross Hospital in central London four days after the operation earlier this month

‘She asked if my husband was with me and said we should go straightaway, so we raced down. Other than a thumping stress headache, I felt absolutely fine.

‘When we got there they saw me within ten minutes. They asked me why I hadn’t come in the day before, and I explained that I thought my problems were menopause-related.

‘They swung into action, took bloods and scans and I started to think: “This is serious.” Then they called another doctor, a neurosurgeon, and he said: “You haven’t had a stroke. It’s a brain tumour and you’ve had it for years.”

‘I was in a cubicle with Shacky and my first reaction was complete shock. When you hear bad news, it’s like a gush of wind coming towards you. I remember thinking: “Just concentrate on what they’re telling you.”

Nicki Chapman at home in London, less than two weeks after her brain operation

‘Shacky went pale. A big, fat tear was running down my face. I said: “I’m really sorry I’m upset. Just tell me what I need to know,” and the doctor was fantastic. He said I’d need more tests, an MRI scan and surgery.

‘I didn’t think I was going to die. It was just: “Who would have thought it?” It would never have occurred to me.’ By the time Nicki got back home late that afternoon, she knew she had a tumour on the back, left-hand side of her head. She and her husband called it Burt and resolved not to succumb to misery.

But she took the precaution of making sure her will was in order: ‘I owed it to Shacky and my family in the worst-case scenario,’ she says. ‘And it was then, too, that we made the 30-second rule. You couldn’t cry for longer than that, otherwise you’d never stop.’

Nicki, who has no children, called her parents, Carol, 77, and Barry, 78 — divorced and both happily remarried — ‘and I could hear Dad catch his breath when I told him. Mum processed the news in a very logical way. No histrionics, no tears. I knew they’d be supportive and I was amazed at how calm they were.

‘And my sister Shelley’s best friend had come through a similar operation. She was very positive and informed.’

Events then moved quickly. Nine days on, she was seeing neurosurgeon David Peterson. ‘He told me the MRI scan had revealed a tumour the size of a golf ball pressing on my brain, and he said: “We need to operate quite soon. But we won’t be cutting off your hair!”

‘At that point, I told him I loved him.’ She beams. Actually, she says, this was the least of her concerns.

After being told she could suffer a bleed on the brain during the surgery, Nicki said: ‘If anything goes wrong, I don’t want to be resuscitated and come back in a body I can’t use’

‘He said within six to eight weeks I should be carrying on with my life, but there were areas of concern: I might lose the sight in one eye and there could be issues with speech and mobility.

‘I’d already been told I couldn’t drive, because of the risk of seizures, but frightening as these things are, I knew I’d be fine.’

And the best news of all was that it seemed — although they wouldn’t know conclusively until a biopsy was carried out — that the tumour, a meningioma that grows on the membranes that surround the brain, was benign.

‘When Mr Peterson told me this, I felt I’d been given my life back,’ says Nicki. ‘Whatever the final outcome was, I could deal with it and eventually move on.

‘When you know what you’re dealing with, you can face it. It’s the unknown that’s truly terrifying.’

A couple of days later, at the beginning of May, she was called in to Charing Cross Hospital — which, by sheer good fortune, is a centre of excellence for the treatment of brain tumours — for her operation.

Charing Cross Hospital in Hammersmith, London (pictured) is, by sheer good fortune, a centre of excellence for the treatment of brain tumours

She chose not to go privately: ‘I truly believe in the NHS and felt strongly that this option would give me the very best possible treatment and care. Mr Peterson said: “That’s the right decision,” and, through the whole process, everyone was just brilliant.

‘Some of the hospital staff said: “Oh! We know you from the telly!” But everyone was discreet. Not a word leaked out.’

Settled into a six-bed ward — armed with a new dressing gown and a turban bought by friends — on the evening before surgery, she recalls: ‘I had my rosary from my school days with me, a St Christopher my father had given me, and a card from my mum with the meaning of my name — strong and brave. Shacky sat with me and we talked about everything and nothing.

‘They’d said I could suffer a bleed on the brain during the surgery and I’d told him: “If anything goes wrong, I don’t want to be resuscitated and come back in a body I can’t use.”’

Nicki Chapman at the Chelsea Flower Show, in London on May 2016

Her brown eyes brim with tears when she says this: it is the only time her cheerful composure deserts her. We’re sitting on a sofa by doors that open onto her terrace garden — inspired by designs from the Chelsea Flower Show — where palm trees riffle in the breeze. There’s an occasional thwack of tennis balls from the courts behind. Birdsong fills the air. It is a golden afternoon.

She recalls the relief of coming round from surgery and finding the worst had not happened — she could see from both eyes and speak. Her first thought was to contact Shacky, to whom she’s been married for 20 years, and a ‘very kind’ member of staff in the resuscitation room called him.

‘Then Mr Peterson came through and I said: “Is that my handsome consultant?’ and he smiled and said: “We’re all right, Nicki. We’ve got most of it out.” Part of the tumour — which was benign — had grown next to one of the main cerebral veins and they’d left a little bit there because there would have been a risk from removing it.

‘And I know it might come back, but if it does they’ll deal with it before it gets too big. We’ll address that if we need to. I’m quite happy.’

There is no evidence of the surgery save for a neat four-inch scar and eight tiny disc-shaped shaved patches on her head where incisions were made.

By the end of June, she hopes to be filming Escape To The Country again, piloting would-be home buyers round their dream properties in bucolic corners of Britain. Then — as long as she’s allowed to fly — she’ll be off to Oz for a series of Wanted Down Under. She also starts filming a new gardening show, Great Garden Challenge, in July.

‘Oh, and I’m off to Glastonbury for the first time — I’ve always wanted to go!’ she says, smiling.

‘I don’t know about the future,’ she adds, ‘but I’m as optimistic as I possibly can be. I feel I’ve dodged a bullet. I’m really lucky: a week-and-a-half after brain surgery, and just look at me.’

The post I had a brain tumour the size of a golf ball: Nikki Chapman appeared first on Gyrlversion.

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