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#{ I have literally tried so many different things to figure out what it is. }
grimmjowjaegerjaquez · 10 months
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Remembering the brief period in my life when i was obsessed with ashido, the only filler character with rights bc kubo originally planned to include him in the manga but had to cut him for time
#bleachposting#maybe its time to think about him again since i think about arrancar and hueco mundo so much#maybe its time to make him interact with the rest of them super begrudgingly#hey soul society we found one of your guys living in our basement. yeah he couldnt figure out how to leave. yeah for like 100 years.#do you want him back or.#listen i think hed be kind of upset to see how many parallels he has with the arrancar#wrt being stuck in survival mode for so long and trying to figure out how to be a person again#like can you see it. can you smell what im saying.#and also more frustrations he tries to ignore regarding his zanpakuto still not telling him its name#and it wont until he kind of. accepts some things about himself.#also maybe he should have cool fights with them and gain a mutual respect. listen. im right.#i remember wanting to make an rp blog for him#and it did exist briefly but i was so nervous about it#i dont think i ever advertised it on my other blogs. does it still exist?? did tumblr ever nuke it?? i cant remember the name#anyway during my brief obsession with him i projected on him super hard and made him trans. why? because. i could.#will i keep him that way? probably. just in a different way.#he hasnt had to deal with normie societal expectations in a long ass time. gender is whatever to him. thog dont caare.#he may have been holding onto the duties of a shinigami as a last straining tether to his sanity but like. that shit is going to snap.#its just a matter of when. and only THEN will he be able to move forward i think. instead of just being stuck the way he is.#like yeah he is literally stuck since shinigami cant make gargantas. but he is also metaphorically stuck. see it writes itself.#APPARENTLY HES IN ONE OF THE LIGHT NOVELS AND TRAINS A BABY CIEN?? THATS SO CUTE WTF
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promiscxous · 2 years
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{ Not me being mad about the fact my stupid PSD coloration that I made makes all of the purples in Koui’s icons freaking pink or hot pink so now it makes me seem like I don’t know colors. I promise that he’s supposed to be wearing various shades of purple guys. Purple is Koui’s whole color scheme. He even bleeds purple when injured, just like how the rest of his siblings bleed the colors they’re affiliated with too (i.e. Yuuela bleeding pink, Nikusui bleeding basic red, Rain bleeding blue, Inori bleeding green, and Myth bleeding black). Their mother bleeds white though. }
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deadghosy · 3 months
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WHAT ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL X EYELESS JACK READER ?!
Hungry for some kidneys 😋🏃‍♀️
STOPPP CAUSE I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM- WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME BRO😭 I THOUGHT THIS MAN WAS SOOOO FINE🦆💗 which he still is 🤭😘
HAZBIN HOTEL X EYELESS JACK! READER
prompt: an eyeless man gets dared to go inside of a cartoon for some free “food”
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Ben had dared you to go inside of this cartoon show that was becoming popular. You said hell no of course….but then he said the impossible…
“Would you either go in the cartoon for kidneys or listen to me tell you the whole script of the new movie.” Ben says with a knowing smirk at which one you would chose.
Never in your life have you jumped into a tv before so quick. But here you are as you stand in the middle of a red twin with dead bodies around. So you smile behind your blue mask and got to work.
You were so busy kidney hunting, you didn’t notice a tall red figure behind you smiling intrigued at how you were only looking for kidneys with your scalpel. You felt skinny hands touch your shoulders as you immediately tried to stab the hand quickly. But it was a wrong move because you got pushed by some green magic.
“Quick reflexes. Amazing my friend! You would do good for this hotel im helping” the man said as you stared at him. Before you could protest you got transported to a damn hotel.
NOW ENOUGH STORY MODE TYPE SHIT! NOW FOR THE FUN🔥
I imagine Angel one time seeing you use your tongues to eat a kidney that was in disguise and Angel had so many dirty jokes for you.
“Omg, I bet you’re a woman pleaser aren’t you?” Angel says suggestively as you just raise a brow at him not knowing what he is saying.
Charlie would try to get you to wear brighter colors, but you literally deny it as if you are still stuck in your emo phase making Charlie get war flashbacks to her own emo phase.
Imagine taking your bluemask off and scaring sir Pentious into thinking you are a ghost to steal his eyes😭 so evil but so funny.
I can see husk literally side eyeing you as you just eating. Like he is just so confused how you don’t bite on none of your other tongues.
I know some people draw ej with black fingernails, but what if Angel had painted them for you instead 💗
Imagine a cartoony moment where Angel is like “ah shit I lost my wallet..” and STARTS TO LOOK FOR IT IN YOUR EYES 😭 straight up digging his hands in ya eyeless holes to look for it and he actually did find it with a smile saying “ah Hah found it!”
Legit Angel will remind you of Ben as Angel will shove his phone in your face saying some dumb shit like. “Do you see it? Do you see it ? Do you see it?” As he has a stupid smirk on his face. You snapped grabbing Angel by his throat as the crew tried to pull you off of Angel as he struggles to breathe. “It was worth it…”
I headcannon EJ! Reader and Alastor being compatible friends because they both eat from human meat. But both different as EJ! Reader just eats the kidneys as Alastor eats the whole things
NAH IMAGINE KID EJ!READER GETTING THE LEFTOVER KIDNEYS FROM PARENT! ALASTOR’S PLATE😭💗💗 (so damn cute)
“No no, you use the little fork and the knife to cut it.” “….I literally eat with my hands.”
Just two hungry boys staring at each other while discussing flavors to make out of people.
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The egg boiz likes to bring you dead sinners as you had promised them to read them bed time stories for kidneys..I mean a fair trade is a fair trade. 🦆
Idk but for me it makes sense for EJ! Reader to bite someone’s hand while sleeping cause in the fanon! slender house they are use to pranks being pulled off so many times.
Literally husk was trying to wake you up cause it was your duty to do the bar tendering and you ALMOST bit his whole hand off if it wasn’t for Husk’s scream.
I can see Lucifer trying to show you his ducks because he found how amusing how quiet and blunt you are as he practically shoved a duck in your face forgetting you don’t have eyes.
“Do you see how cute and amazing this is?! It’s a duck that can do the splits while shooting fire!” “I see.” *awkward silence* “I’m so sorry-” “sorry for what.”
I can see how your dynamic with Lucifer is like “I think I forgot something x I have it in my hand..”
Charlie once had you in red as you actually just stood there while she took photos of you. It was like you were ready for the first day of school as Charlie squealed happy to see her new staff wearing red.
“SMILEE!” Charlie say excited as you just stand there trying to smile but it came out strained showing all of your sharp teeth. “Yeah don’t ever smile again.” Angel said in the background as you jumped at him like foxy in fnaf 2 😭
I imagine you just standing there as Alastor puts his arm on your shoulder like an arm rest. Literally you are “😐 what?” face as Alastor is obviously “😄 what a lovely day!”
I can see you and niffty just playing random games during break time as husk just cleans glasses at the bar. It’s a relaxing sight for once without you trying to get someone’s kidney.
I imagine you and Adam having so much beef as he is annoying asf to you.
“Why are you eyeless? So you can’t see how ugly you are?” “No, so I can’t see how fat you basically are so it won’t affect me.”
THE WAY YOU GAGGED HIM- 😭🤭‼️
I can see the Vee’s trying to get you on their side but you would probably just flip them off as you eat a kidney.
I can imagine Vaggie trying to find out why there is black goo on the hotel stairs to find you are crying since Charlie banned you to scalpel anyone’s kidneys.
Vaggie and Charlie give you the angel dust treatment and try to find any scalpels you have in your room
I can see after the battle of the heaven and hell, you would just stand there like “🧍🏾what the fuck just happened..” as you try to scalpel a few angels only for vaggie to pull your blue hoodie away from one.
When Lucifer first met you, he thought you was a teen demon who just got hired. He wasn’t wrong for the hired part, when you first spoke that man thought he heard god himself as his eyes were wide at you.
I can headcannon Alastor bringing a sinner to your door with a note that say, “eat well <3” and you just stand there like….. “did I just get adopted by a cannibal..” you said picking up the unconscious sinner and grabbing a scalpel.
NAH CAUSE I USE TO BE FERAL FOR THIS MANNNN😨😭😭💗💗 HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS ONE!🦆‼️
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often-daydreaming · 4 days
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Time Out
If you've seen The Sandman episode A Hope in Hell then you already know what I'm talking about but what if when the Justice League tries to summon the Ghost King for any number of reasons only they get Clockwork instead who forces them (or any hero really but I'm thinking of one of the Flashes or maybe Wonder Woman since Constantine has his own game planned for him) to play his favorite game, the oldest game and they have to win or else. He could genuinely be angry, I actually want to see a furious Clockwork more than ready to undo the very existence of the planet for daring to summon his protege but I can kind of see him messing around a little and playing up the whole titan of time, father of Zeus thing with the heroes as payback for messing around with the timelines so much.
It doesn't matter either way. What the Justice League wants isn't worth mentioning since Clockwork erased it from existence with barely a fraction of effort.
The biggest concern that has the entirety of Young Justice worried is the fact that the only person who got a free pass during that mess of a summoning was Bart and nobody can figure out why. Clockwork was more than willing to end the man of steel. He despised the other heroes and seemed annoyed at the sight of so many speedsters gathered together but after surveying the meeting room they used for the summoning he looked surprised then a little amused at the sight of Young Justice, smiling at Bart like he was genuinely happy to see him back there with the rest of his team. There wasn't even any mention of erasing his existence or anything as colorful as the threat against Constantine which was just rude. He could be a threat if he wanted (even if he kind of puffed up like an angry kitten when Clockwork started treating him like he was one of his grandsons) but he doesn't know (can't remember) that all of the Ancients and at least a dozen different pantheons have him on a very short list of people the Ghost King would gladly end the multiverse for after everything his past self/alternate did during the whole Dan problem. In Clockwork's eyes Bart has more than earned a free pass across the wider multiverse.
Cause, the thing is, the rest of the heroes might have died fighting for the world but the Bart from the darker timeline, the one who helped Danny traverse a literal apocalypse and pointed out way too many holes in Vlad's little monologue died saving Danny's life when Dan was trying to mess with the timeline which meant he unknowingly has the Ghost King's blessing and anything and everything on the more darker side of the supernatural can see the enormous 'Do Not Approach' sign that was basically Danny's mark (a necklace, pen, invisible magic whatever or something small he keeps on him without knowing why) claiming Bart as off limits.
Go mess with any other hero if you want, but this speedster, this little guy right here who has Clockwork treating him like a grandson has the Ghost King's blessing, the only blessing he's ever given out, permission to race across the crossroads of Infinity and the protection of a lot of powerful eldritch gods.
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riddlerosehearts · 5 months
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thinking about how people who watch the emperor's new groove and somehow come out of it shipping pacha and kuzco, or thinking yzma only became evil when kuzco fired her and that she would've been a better ruler than him, are both so wrong in so many different ways and are also missing one of the things that i absolutely love about the movie. which is that, the way i see it, pacha and yzma are counterparts. as parental figures to kuzco.
like, just to get this out of the way first, yzma was a dismissive asshole to a peasant whose family was starving. and yeah, if kuzco had been in her place he definitely would've also done that, which... is why she would not be a better ruler than him. she'd just be the same because they're both horrible people in the exact same ways. her reaction to being fired is to plot murder, and as soon as his funeral is over she sets everyone to work on replacing paintings of kuzco with paintings of herself and covering the palace with imagery that makes it clear that it's all about her now. i'm not even sure why this is a discussion tbh.
and also, kuzco is literally a teenager. he's barely 18 years old. source: in the movie, yzma says at his funeral that kuzco was "taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday." she also claims in the movie to have "practically raised" him, to which kronk replies "yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better". and sure, she could be exaggerating, but what evidence do we have that she is? we learn absolutely nothing of his parents, who are never mentioned even once in the movie, or of anyone else who could've raised him, and she's his advisor who for some reason sees no problem with attending to royal duties in his place. most likely because she's his regent. also, i'm not exactly a fan of the sequel tv series "the emperor's new school" but it does have something that backs up my point: kuzco is revealed to be an orphan and just before his father went and got lost at sea, he asked yzma (who was also his advisor) to take care of kuzco if anything happened to him. so, yeah, the writers who worked on the series clearly thought that yzma genuinely did raise kuzco, and nothing in the movie contradicts this.
and i find the idea of her being his only parental figure for pretty much his whole childhood incredibly interesting because, and this also goes back into why she wouldn't be a better ruler than him--she mirrors him as a reflection of what would've become of him if he'd never met pacha. they're both incredibly arrogant, power-hungry, selfish, and cruel, with a tendency to blame their problems on everyone but themselves. yzma was even originally going to have her own reprise of kuzco's theme song "perfect world", which i really wish had been kept:
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[ID: Lyrics that read:
I'Il be the sovereign queen of the nation And the chicest chick in creation I'm the cat with all the cream and ooh-la-la This deadly concentration Will put an end to my frustration Now this perfect world begins and ends with moi
What's my name? Yzma, Yzma, Yzma Yzma (what's my name?) Yzma, Yzma (What'd you say?) Yzma (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!) Yzma. End ID]
(this song can be fully heard in "the sweatbox", the documentary about the making of the movie, and is also on youtube btw)
anyway, i'm sure yzma would not exactly have been the most nurturing or hands-on guardian, especially given that she and kuzco don't exactly treat each other like family. but it makes a lot of sense to think that her behavior influened kuzco's throughout the years. and for the entire movie, she remains determined to kill him. when he tries to reason with her and admits that he should've been nicer, she says the same thing to him that he originally said when he fired her. she never grows or changes and in the end, she hurts the one person who was willing to stand by her (and even then, kronk had never fully been on board with her plan) and he ends up trying to crush her with a chandelier. kuzco on the other hand is able to realize the error of his ways, come to regret who he was in the past, and start taking steps toward being a better person. his theme song gets a reprise where it's changed from a song about one person being the center of the world to a Power Of Friendship song. why? because, as i've already mentioned, he has pacha.
pacha, who similarly to both yzma and kuzco is in a position of authority as the leader of the village but unlike either of them is gentle and humble. who isn't afraid to stand up to kuzco and be honest with him even though he's the emperor, who agrees to take him back to the palace but has no obligation to be so helpful, kind, and caring toward him--and just about every reason not to be--and still chooses to be anyway. pacha who is 45 years old (also stated in the sweatbox documentary) and can see that kuzco is practically still a kid, not a single day over 18, who has time to grow and change. pacha, who already has a wife and two kids with another on the way, but practically treats kuzco like one of his own. who acknowledges that if kuzco dies all his problems will be gone and then still worries about him and goes out of his way to rescue him after he wanders into the jungle. who sees kuzco shivering at night and covers him with his poncho, who carries him when he's genuinely too weak to keep walking, who refuses to give up on him even after repeatedly being betrayed by him because he believes there's good in everyone.
also, while yzma ends up repeating kuzco's harsh words of dismissal as she tells him of her plans to kill him, kuzco had previously repeated pacha's words that "nobody's that heartless" after he saved pacha's life. and as the movie progresses kuzco and pacha's relationship becomes more and more equal and is constantly contrasted by moments of yzma being cruel and unappreciative of kronk's kindness. a good example of this is how kronk is constantly being forced to carry yzma everywhere on his back while yzma literally walks all over him and steps on his hands when she gets down, whereas when pacha briefly carries kuzco after the latter collapses he tells him he'll have to walk the rest of the way later and kuzco doesn't even protest.
idk if i'm even explaining well what i'm trying to say here. but basically, if yzma actually raised kuzco and contributed to his current behavior, then she and pacha both are figures who guided him and helped him grow. only yzma helped him become the tyrant that he was at the start of the movie, who was selfish and callous and saw everyone else as beneath him. whereas pacha helped him see the value in being selfless and considerate of others. and in the end, yzma is stuck as a cat and nobody is concerned about her. kronk has found a new job that makes him genuinely happy, while kuzco has decided to build a hut on the hill next to pacha's and effectively joined his family. in the sweatbox documentary it's even mentioned that chicha and the kids were at risk of being removed from the film, but it was decided that they needed to be there because having just pacha as a single guy who lived alone wasn't interesting enough--kuzco needed to go from having basically an empty world where he had nobody to being able to come together with pacha's whole family. and i just think that's incredibly satisfying and beautiful. it also leads up to one of the few things i really do enjoy about the emperor's new school, which is the fact that during the show kuzco moves in with pacha and chicha and pretty explicitly thinks of them as basically his parents while he's like a son to them.
idk. i feel like my mind went in a million different directions while i was writing all this. but i guess i just think that for all of the praise the emperor's new groove gets for its comedy and for how hilarious yzma and kronk in particular are as a duo, the movie also has a lot of genuine heart that gets overlooked. kuzco's character growth and his unique dynamic with pacha is, for me, really what elevates the movie from just a funny movie that i like to one of my favorite disney movies. and i wish more people appreciated that aspect of it and saw it as a found family story in the same way that treasure planet, brother bear, and lilo and stitch are all found family stories.
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nsharks · 1 year
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it's safe here | simon “ghost” riley
words: 2.6k
plot: simon says “I love you” for the first time.
tags: a little bit of smut, mostly fluff and love, reads well with my previous fics, death mention, fem!reader
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Ghost didn’t know if love was something he was allowed to have.
It didn’t seem like it.
There were three people who had received proclamations of love from him, and all three of those people ended up killed. It seemed Ghost’s love had as deadly of a touch as his hands. His love was tainted and dirty; he could run his hands under a faucet and watch the blood swirl down the drain, but all the death he’d caused wouldn’t follow it.
He’d told himself it was just sex with you. In the beginning, that’s all it had been, right? Sex and scarce kisses and long drives around the city where he’d just listen to you talk.
You’d ran into him one night on your bicycle (almost quite literally), and then somehow two years later, he was waking up to your soft toes poking his thigh and your toothbrush next to his in the bathroom.
It wasn’t just sex, of course—
—not when Ghost found himself dreaming about you and asking you to stay over every night.
The thing was, he’d never felt lonely before you. Ghost quickly realizes that loneliness requires the knowledge of what good company feels like; ever since he met you, solitude became painful. It’d stick its teeth in him and gnaw and chew until he gave in, calling you sometimes in the middle of the night.
Can’t sleep without you, pet.
It started with those late night calls, which turned into you practically moving in after six months, and then officially, after over a year, Ghost asked you to be his girlfriend.
Well, he didn’t ask, really.
Ghost never had a girlfriend before so he didn’t know better.
“My girlfriend doesn’t like pickles,” he had said one day when you went out to grab lunch. You’d told him it was okay, you’d eat it anyway, but he shook his head and called the waiter over. “Can you fix this, please?”
“Simon, you just called me your girlfriend,” you’d said once your food came back, utterly stunned.
“Yeah, I know.”
“Since when did you ask me?”
“Ask you?” he furrowed his brows. “Do I need to ask ya?”
“Well… usually that’s what people do.”
He cleared his throat and tried again, grumbling, “Be my girlfriend.”
It was more of an order than a question, but you said yes, anyway.
That was months ago and Ghost still hadn’t mentioned anything about love. You hadn’t even seen your boyfriend without his mask fully off, or seen his unclothed body in proper lighting.
Until his birthday. A day that Ghost normally doesn’t celebrate because he’d had such traumatic experiences on it as a kid.
Somehow— with that strange ability you seem to possess— you manage to turn something dark and twisted into something pure and new.
_____
You plan a surprise for him.
Last year, you’d missed his birthday because Simon didn’t tell you about it. But now you know when it is, you’ve marked all your calendars, and you secretly figured out what flavor cake he preferred (had to bring home different slices from the store and leave them on the counter to see which he ate the most of).
When Simon comes home from the gym, he’s showered with what can only be described as love.
He sees the balloons on the floor, all ten of them that you blew up yourself, and then the cake on the table that’s got some frosted words in your handwriting.
And then there’s you.
It feels like his life has been many miles worth of nighttime and now, it’s breakfast. The sun is up, and he sees it in your eyes as you beam at him.
“Surprise, Simon,” you smile, cheeks rosy and matching the dress you’ve got on. “Happy birthday.”
“You did this fo’ me?” Simon asks slowly. He sets his gym bag on the floor.
You’re worried you’ve overwhelmed him. Romantic gestures are not something he’s used to giving or receiving, but he’s been slowly warming up to them over the course of your relationship.
You tuck your hair behind your ears and nibble your cheek. “Well, it’s your birthday, and we didn’t do anything for it last year. I just thought that you might-“
“Y/N,” he stops you. “It’s… nice.” Simon is terrible at this. He swears under his breath, “Fuck, it’s lovely.”
“There’s something else,” you say carefully. “The cake is for later. I’ve got a little supper packed for us.”
“Packed for what?”
You don’t explain. Instead, you grab the sack you’ve packed and a folded blanket and guide him outside. Simon’s house— the one you’ve moved into with him— sits on a quiet, gravel road with few neighbors. The town’s edge is still and the skies grow grey as you walk together. He is confused when you stop at a seemingly random spot, just near a rose bush, and you lay down the blanket you’ve brought.
“This is the spot where we first met.”
He hears the words leave your mouth but he’s so focused on your lips that he doesn’t quite process them.
“The…” Simon looks around and the memory comes into view. “Christ- right here, was it? With your bike?”
Simon is overwhelmed, but not in a bad way. The two of you sit there, having a picnic in the middle of this quiet backstreet where you nearly ran into him, and he listens to you talk because, as usual, he’s at a loss for words. You tell him about the process of making the cake, and how you had to try three times before it came out right. All the while, his heartbeat is thick in his chest and he’s wondering how did this happen?
It feels like yesterday he was pushing you away, playing a sick game of trying to guess when you’d finally give up on him. Simon knew he made things hard; he could be angry, demanding, and painfully reserved. But you were so patient with him, held him close during his nightmares and never pried about the mask he felt dependent on.
Now today, in this moment, you are his girlfriend, and you have planned the first real birthday he’d had in years. He doesn’t plan on pushing you away—
—as you keep talking, Simon’s brain runs through all the ways he can think of to keep you close.
Then, it starts to rain.
“I was worried this would happen,” you sigh when the first few drops hit you. “Come on, we can finish at home—“
You’re getting up when a hand reaches for your arm and tugs you back down.
“Wait. Hold on.”
The gentle request is uncharacteristic of him. That tone of voice only makes an appearance when he’s with you, because you’ve had Simon doing things he never imagined doing since the beginning of your entanglement.
For one, he never kissed people before you. Once or twice when he was a teenager, but he never really cared for it- now, Simon thinks he’s obsessed with how your mouth fits against his, soft and delicate.
He pushes up the edge of his mask, just below his nose, and covers your lips with his before you can question it.
The rain is unforgiving, growing heavier, but both of you are too focused on each other.
Simon cups your damp cheeks and holds your face firmly while kissing you, slow and deep. Thoughtful swipes of his tongue that pry your lips apart so he can explore and take in every detail, every taste.
There are words exchanged in this kiss that he struggles to say. Doesn’t know what language to translate his feelings into.
Thank you? No. You’re all I have? No. I can’t believe you did this all for me?
But you know what language to use. You’ve known for some time now, and as you pull away from the kiss and lean your damp forehead against his now-soaking mask, you let yourself finally whisper:
“I love you.”
_____
Simon doesn’t say it back.
You were kind of expecting as much, but still, it stings. You’d played all the scenarios in your head of how this first time telling him you love him could’ve gone; the two of you walking back in an uncomfortable silence, clothes soaked, wasn’t one of them.
You also don’t expect him to be visibly frustrated. Simon‘s got the wet blanket in his arms, his eyes are dark and unreadable, and his body is tense.
When you get to the house, you’re quick to run to the bathroom, eager for a hot shower that will hopefully wash off the burn of his silence and mask the tears you’d been holding. You don’t even feel embarrassed about telling him; just defeated. He kissed you like he loved you, held you like he loved you—
—why couldn’t he just say it?
In the house, Simon follows after you, knocking his knuckles to the bathroom door just after you’ve peeled off your clothes.
“Let me in?” he requests hoarsely.
Holding your breasts in your arms, you use the excuse, “I’m naked.”
“So?”
Reluctantly, you unlock the door and dig your teeth in your lip as he steps in. Your body is cold from being wet and he’s still got his soaked clothes on, not caring that he’s leaving a little trail of water behind.
Simon’s breathing heavily, chest rising and falling as he looks over your naked body and then gets the shower running. You stand there confused, but he grabs your hands and guides them to the hem of his wet shirt, the notch in his throat visibly tight.
He doesn’t need to say it for you to understand; you start helping him undress, carefully and hesitantly, because he has never let you do this before.
You peel the shirt up his torso and his chest is revealed under the bright bathroom lights, allowing you a view of every scar etched around a every tattoo, the burns on his side that you’d never gotten a good look at before, and the trail of coarse hair down his navel. The bare skin is cold and blissful under your fingertips.
You swallow, “Your belt.”
Hands reaching for it, Simon helps you with the contraption before you’re able to tug down his jeans. His legs are exposed to you and you quickly realize they are equally marked. A burn scar consuming his left thigh. A deep scar just above his knee. He’s got tattoos on his calves that you’ve never seen before until now.
Simon is completely naked before your eyes.
You can tell it makes him nervous. This brooding man who’d kill more people than you wanted to know, shifts uncomfortably and flickers his eyes to the light switch, probably itching to turn it off and hide himself. But he wills himself not to— for you.
“Simon,” you lay your hands on his chest, feel how strong his heart is. “I… love you. All of you.”
You’re the one who leads your hands to the hem of his mask. It’s soaked and probably uncomfortable, and your fingertips dance underneath it as if to ask for permission. When Simon doesn’t push your hands away, you swallow and pull the fabric up.
Up all the way this time. Up past his stubbled chin, his lips, his nose, and then his eyes.
He let’s you do it. Let’s you peel the mask over his hair and then fold it on the towel rack for it to dry. After two years, Simon trusts you fully— completely.
And you; you are in love with him. So much so that it didn’t really matter what face was under that mask, as long as it was his face.
Once in the shower, Simon bends down to bury his face in your neck and wraps his arms around your waist. Hot water enveloping you.
“You’re handsome,” you tell him.
“I know, pet.”
There’s a smirk that you feel against your neck. Your fingers dig into the skin of his back, the muscles still tense, but you’re glad to see his frustration is gone.
Mumbling into your skin, he says quietly, “I want to fuckin’ say it.”
Your heart flutters. “Say it then. It’s… it’s okay to say it.”
But Simon isn’t convinced. Has anyone ever survived hearing him say it? Is he allowed to have these feelings?
“If I say it,” he grumbles, “Then… bad things could happen to ya.”
“No,” you shake your head, “Bad things won’t happen. It’s safe here.” You promise to him softly, running your hands through his wet hair and drawing circles at the nape of his neck. You understand what holds him back now, what has been holding him back for the longest time, and it makes your chest ache.
“It’s safe here,” you repeat when he doesn’t respond. “You can say it, Simon. It’s just me.”
He runs his rough hands up and down your back, keeping you impossibly close to him in the small space of the shower (which he takes up most of). Then, he gently pushes you against the wall and presses one hand above your head, pulling his face away from your neck so you can see him.
You feel Simon against your thigh. Hot and heavy, it’s not a surprise that’s he’s hard.
But he’s focused on your lips. Thumb pressing gently to them, he studies your face and swallows his hesitation and breathes deeply through his nose to muster up his confidence.
Then, with a flicker of fear in his eyes, he whispers, “I… I love you, too.”
He says it so quietly that you think he’s scared of someone else hearing him. All of the dark thoughts cut through his eyes and he looks around wildly. But it’s only you there; there has only ever been you. You think you could cry from the relief of it all. The weight has been lifted now that he has opened himself to you and you have stripped yourself open for him, heart hanging out.
Then, his eyes make it back to yours and he sighs in relief.
Soon, you’re kissing up against the wall, eager and starved with hands that fumble around to touch every inch of each other. He takes you against the wall like this, fingers uncharacteristically fumbling as he guides himself to your folds, so you grab his length and help him. The press of him is so deep inside you that it’s consuming, and all you can think of is how he reaches a part of you that no one else ever had or will.
Your hands are in his wet hair, clawing and whimpering. “Simon.”
“I know.” He moves his lips to your neck and kisses up along it. Hands cupping your thighs, he hooks your legs around his waist so all of your limbs now cling to him. You don’t mind. If you could, you’d invent a way to be even closer to him. “I’ve got ya.”
You both say the words again somewhere in the midst of it all.
And then, Simon finishes in you with a muffled groan, softly biting your collarbone when he feels you tighten around his cock. But he doesn’t pull out. You stay like this for awhile, legs wrapped around him and his cock still nestled inside you. There’s mumbled words and quiet touches as you both linger in this moment, one that you’ve waited patiently for for two years. A moment that was once Simon’s biggest, most secret fear.
____
Simon doesn’t wear the mask for the rest of his birthday.
He says it’s because it’s still wet, but you hope it’s because he feels safe without it.
You both change into your pajamas after the shower, but it takes awhile to fully get them on because he ends up taking you on the bed, too. Can’t seem to keep his hands off you, with constant, gentle kisses and gropes to your waist. He touches you like he thinks you might disappear if he doesn’t.
Simon loves you. You carry around this fact with a glow to your cheeks. Even though he would leave you soon, for months, you’d have these words to hold on to and keep you warm.
“You really made this?” Simon asks when you cut him a piece of cake.
You snuggle up on the couch and share it together.
You hum and nod. “Pretty good, right?”
“Pretty good,” he mumbles in agreement, tugging you to his lap and resting his chin on your shoulder. Then, he adds softly, “Might have to keep you around long enough for my next birthday.”
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twiixr4kidz · 6 months
Note
PRAYING YOU GIVE US SOME THE EVIL EXES X A DUMBASS S/O PLEASEEEE
Like they're so dumb it's not a joke- like imagine Roxy asking her s/o about the menu at a restaurant they're going to and they go "babe....I'm a lesbian." And it takes a full FIVE MINUTES for them to figure out what she meant
OMG YES i am a certified dumbass so this was very easy to write
matthew patel:
listen....... he gets it
he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed
it's like when you're around each other, your brain cells disappear
most discussions end in the two of you looking at each other, very confused, whatever conversation you were having being long forgotten
he doesn't mind re-explaining thinsg to you if you don't understand them
he thinks it's kinda cute honestly
lucas lee:
he is the himbo-est himbo to ever himbo
honestly most of ramona's exes are dumb but in different endearing ways
i can tell you for a fact that he'll tease you for one thing and then proceed to do it immediately after without even realizing
OR HE'LL TRY TO LIKE SHOW YOU WHAT YOU WERE DOING WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT AND THEN HE MESSES IT UP HIMSELF LMFAO
"babe, that's not how you do a kickflip. THIS is." (he bails and breaks his board)
todd ingram:
todd is probably one of the most confused people you will ever meet
sometimes you say things that completely baffle him
im talking something so dumb his jaw is hanging wide open and he's rendered completely fucking speechless
and you're confused as to why HE'S confused because you thought you explained what you were saying really well
but you very much did not
there are so many conversations you have with him that are cut short because he doesn't know how to respond
"hon... look at me... what?" "huh?" "did you hear a word you just said?" "wait... what did i say?"
roxie richter:
she thinks it's cute!!!
most of the time
other times, she's genuinely concerned for your sanity
"so... whatcha wanna eat?" "babe, im a lesbian" "...what?" "what do you mean what?" "i know... you're a lesbian... i was asking about the food..." "OH"
you cannot hear apparently
she thinks it's funny whenever you do that thing where you hear her but you don't process what she said so you go "what" and then you cut her off when she tries to explain cuz you finally have an answer
she thinks it's HILARIOUS
kyle katayanagi:
he thinks it's hysterical
like you know this motherfucker is the ultimate tease
you don't know the answer to a question? you say something that sounds dumber than you intended it to?
you know damn well he's getting on your case about it
and honestly he loves it
he knows he's smart but he's fascinated by your sheer stupidity
he doesn't mind explaining things to you either
but you aren't getting out of an explanation without him calling you, and i mean this in the most affectionate way possible, a dumbass
ken katayanagi:
he's ALSO very fascinated with the fact that none of your millions of brain cells work
even when it comes to what he thinks is a simple concept, it takes a lot of explaining for you to understand
this is explaining that he doesn't mind doing
maybe his knowledge is just a little TOO advanced
he can never tell if he's the one whose too smart or if it's just your natural dumbness
it confuses him
he's enamored
literally say one dumbass thing around him and he's gonna have you pinned to a wall in the most intense makeout session of your life
gideon graves:
listen... gideon isn't as much of a douche as everyone makes him out to be
he thinks you being dumb is adorable
something about his weird thing for control and how he loves to explain things to you
he doesn't wanna control in a toxic way, let me just get that out there
he just loves how you never seem to know what's going on
god he loves it HE LOVES IT
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julilovesyou444 · 11 months
Note
ok first of all your writing is so good i’m literally in love????? anyways, could i request a tom x reader fluff with them cuddling but like tom doesn’t rly know how to do it bc he’s used to hook ups and stuff and so it’s diff for him?? i feel like that’s super specific but i think i wld be so cuteee idkk. anyways tysm pookie 💗💗💗
show me how ~ tom kaulitz
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AHHHH thank you love!! you are so sweet💟 I’ll try!!! thank you for requesting, this is my first time doing one of these so I’ll do my best!! if you have a request, feel free to do it in the little thingy on my page, this was so fun !! ALSO, if this isn’t what you were expecting or anything, I’ll write it again differently, no problem ☺️
background ~ you and your boyfriend had just started dating not long ago, and there were a lot of things in the relationship that were new to him. he hadn’t been in many relationships at all, so he isn’t sure on everything, for example, cuddling and affection. you show him how :)
warnings ~ none, just fluff and cutesy stuff, tad bit of angst too
I’m Montenegrin so please forgive me if my English is messed up !
~
you had been at home all day, just picking up and relaxing. it was a pretty chill day though. you’re boyfriend, Tom, was at the studio all day. At first it was just a couple days of the week for a few hours, but lately it had been everyday for the whole day. You could tell it was taking a toll on him. He was tired and more irritable. You knew it wasn’t his fault, and you honestly felt really bad for him. When he would come home, he wouldn’t want anyone to bother him. After dating Tom for a week or two, you came to realize he was not an affectionate person. You thought that he just needed to warm up to you, but it had been almost a month. Besides kissing and sex, he rarely touched you. You couldn’t figure out what was wrong, so you tried to ignore it for the main part.
today was another long day for him. you weren’t living together yet, but he just slept over at your place all the time. you had made dinner for him tonight, not something you always did but you wanted to be nice. you were sitting on your bed, scrolling through random websites on your laptop when you heard the front door open and shut. Tom didn’t call out to you like he usually did. You knew today probably sucked for him. The fear of him rejecting you as he sometimes did made it hard for you to leave your room, but you did anyways.
You walked down the hallway to main room of the apartment to see Tom sitting on the couch, watching tv. He looked angry. The dinner you made him still sat on the table, untouched, and probably cold now.
“I made you dinner.”, you spoke softly. His eyes darted from the screen to yours. Tom looked so upset, almost as if he wanted to cry.
“I know. Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”, he replied coldly.
You took a step closer to him, almost testing the waters.
“How was the studio?”
“Shit. It was shit. Do I need to pause this or…?”, he replied rather harshly, referring to the television.
“Tom…”, you trailed off, very quiet. He saw the hurt in your eyes and immediately hated himself for taking his anger out on you. He grabbed the remote and turned off the t.v.
“I’m sorry, I’m just in a bad mood. I’m really stressed and tired and I don’t know how to get rid of it, but I shouldn’t take it out on you.”, Tom said, sounding genuine as ever.
“come here.”, you said, putting your hand out for him to take. You could tell he was very hesitant, but he took your hand and let you pull him up from the couch.
before he could argue or protest, you pulled him into a hug. you usually didn’t hug, but it felt like he needed it. You wrapped your arms tightly around his torso and pushed the side of your face into his chest. At first, his arms were just outwards, unsure of where to go. When he became more aware and comfortable, and put his arms around your neck, hands on the side of your head as he placed his head on top on yours. you could feel him relax into the hug, and it made you so happy that you were finally able to do that for him.
“I’m sorry for being rude, today was just so so bad, and these long ass days are tiring me out.”, Tom said, his voice muffled into your head. He left a soft kiss on the crown of your head.
“I know, and I’m sorry. Let me help.”, you pulled away, looking up at him.
“Help how?”
“Y’know, help you relax and stuff. Make you feel better.”
“I’m not really in the mood to fuc-“
“No, Tom, not that. Like just get into pajamas and I’ll rub your back and cuddle you, yea?”
“Uhh-“
“Please, trust me, you’ll feel so much better.”
Maybe it was your pleading eyes, or the fact that he secretly wanted to be intimate with you in this sense, but it didn’t take a lot for him to give in.
“Okay.”
“Yea?”, you beamed. He couldn’t help but smile back before playfully rolling his eyes.
“Yea.”
“Okay, go get changed into something comfier.”
He nodded and grabbed some of his clothes from your room before heading to the bathroom.
You quickly went into your room and started trying to “set the mood”. You dimmed the lights as much as possible and lit a few candles. You grabbed a bunch of really soft blankets and some water too. You wanted him to feel comfortable around you. He wasn’t affectionate or that touchy with you, and you wanted him to be.
Tom walked into your room, looking around, admiring your dedication.
“Lay down.”, you instructed.
“So bossy.”, he jokingly muttered.
He laid down on your bed as you walked over.
“Lay on your stomach.”
He groaned but turned over onto his stomach.
You climbed up onto the bed, and then put one of your legs over him so you were straddling his lower back.
“what are you-“
“shhh just relax.”
your hands found their way under his shirt, making their way up to his upperback. You began to slowly massage circles into his back, feeling him instantly become less tense under you. You gradually added pressure in places that felt a little more stiff. You began to knead the knots out of his back too. There were a lot. No wonder the poor boy was so upset, his stress was causing him to get strained.
You went on massaging him for a bit more, and you could tell how calm he was getting.
you climbed off of his back and laid on your side next to him, facing him. His face was towards you and his eyes were shut, but you could tell he wasn’t asleep just yet.
“did you like that?”, you said softly. he opened his eyes narrowly and nodded.
“yes, thank you. you don’t even know how much I needed that. I’m so tired now.”, he murmured.
you opened up your arms. Tom watched you intently.
“c’mere”
“for what?”
“pleaseee don’t fight me on this one. I just wanna hold you.”
“what, like cuddling?”, he questioned, looking doubtful.
“yea… is that okay?”
“um… yea, yea it is. its just that… fuck, this is embarrassing.”, he rubbed his eyes, trying to hide his uneasiness.
“listen, all of the girls I’ve been with before, I never really did anything like that with them. usually we would just hook up and they would leave. what im trying to say I guess, is that I don’t really know how to cuddle or anything like that. I sound so stupid. its kinda just like hugging, right?”, he rambled.
at first, you couldn’t even say anything because you could believe that your beautiful, beautiful boyfriend had never been shown love and affection like that before. he so clearly deserved it, even though he had his moods, he was the sweetest thing. You felt bad for him. That was probably why he hadn’t shown or done anything like that for you before.
“I’ll show you how.”, you responded with a small but sweet smile. his eyes sorta lit up and he picked up his head from the pillow.
“show me how?”
“mhm, c’mere. don’t make me wait any longer, im tired too y’know.”, you teased him a little. Tom scoffed before scooting over to you, waiting for your instructions.
“put your head against my chest, under mine.”
he listened to you, putting the side of his face against your chest. You took his arm and wrapped it around your waist, and he quickly got the memo and snuck his other arm beneath you so that they were both wrapped around you. He pulled you closer, forcing you to smile. you entangled your legs with his.
you two were finally cuddling. you had wanted to for so long, but you didn’t know how to ask. you could feel Tom’s slow breath blow out against you as he got closer to falling asleep.
“thank you, baby.”, he sleepily mumbled.
“of course. I’m sorry your day wasn’t great.”
“it’s definitely better now. I wish we would’ve done this earlier.”
“I thought you didn’t really want me to touch you, or for you to touch me, in this way, I guess…”
“I’m sorry, I wanted to but it was just unfamiliar to me and that kind of scared me, I didn’t want to do anything wrong and I’m not used to this kind of affection.”
“I’m sorry, Tom.”, you said, gently stroking his hair. he breathed deeply, showing you how relaxed he was becoming.
“it’s okay, I have you now.”
You continued to play with his hair as he cuddled you, and you could tell just how peaceful he was. He ended up falling asleep pretty fast. You were so happy that he was able to unwind and open up with you. You reached over to the candle and blew it out. You flipped the light switch off and let yourself fall asleep in Tom’s arms.
~
a/n ~ awww this is very sweet to me😭 I love doing these cutesy little stories, they are my favorite to write. I’m in my home country right now so I’m sorry if my posts are very inconsistent or posted at a weird time, thank you for the request!! all of the comments are so sweet too, and they make me feel a lot less insecure about my writing. have a good day !!!💋😽
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klausysworld · 1 year
Note
hi can you do headcanons about klaus mikaelson finding out you are his mate after unleashing his hybrid curse and you are part of elena's group?
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Klaus realising you’re his mate when he breaks his curse:
Klaus had seen you around school when he was pretending to be Alaric, he thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen, your smile was angelic, he assumed it was just Alarics body reacting to seeing you
That was until after he broke his curse, after his trip with Stefan when he saw you again at school during the senior prank night.
You walked straight into him, his arms immediately circling you on pure instinct and pulling you to his chest
He felt his heart swell and a need arise in him, when he looked down and locked eyes with yours his lit up and shone gold, his lips parted as he tried to form words, it was as though his world had shifted and you were the only thing he ever knew
His hands went to cup your face and he pressed a kiss to your lips, a short one but still
You were also in some sort of trance and reciprocated the action, when you heard Elena gasping horrified and running away while yelling the name Klaus you snapped out of your moment
Klaus’s expression dropped when he saw the fear and realisation settle onto your face, the step you took back had his soul shattering
When you ran he let you and went after Elena, after he had figured how to save his hybrids he went to collect you. He carried you while you attempted to twist in his hold
He had you locked in the car while he spoke to Damon about Mikael and then took you to Portland with him to find more werewolves to turn.
On the trip he tried his best to show his soft side for you, he gave you things to do, books, crosswords/word searches, Netflix, just all channel’s.
He supplied endless snacks and brought you as many different foods as he found available to see what your favourites were
He sat and spoke to you on the evenings when he was done searching for the wolves. He would tell you stories about the last and how different things had changed
Once you had let yourself open up a bit he would try to inch closer to you, hold your hand, have you leaning against him or even him led on you while he listened to any and all things you would share
When you asked him why you felt so safe with him he thought it would be best to just let you know what was going on, he told you what he already knew about mates and how his bond was so much stronger because of his tightened feelings through his new hybrid status.
From then you decided to let him court you, you didn’t want either of you to suffer through the pain of a rejected mate and so tried to let him in
He would keep you close, always. He didn’t like anyone else being near you, it scared you sometimes how possessive he could be but you understood that he had a bad history with abandonment and Rebekah warned you of paranoia.
Klaus left you presents all the time. Anything to have your attention, have you seeking him out. When you came to speak to him first his stomach would flip
You actually kissed him first because he was afraid you’d push him off him like you sort of did when he pecked you at the school, he was overjoyed and smiling like an idiot
From then he wanted you to move in, he wanted to have you in his bed, to hold you, to love you and be free to express his care for you as often as he could without any judgement from the outside world
He said ‘i love you first’ and wanted to die when you took a second to long to respond but ultimately saying you loved him to had him throwing his arms around you and carrying you back upstairs
As Klaus’s mate you are literally treated like a queen. Always and Forever.
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lichenes · 2 months
Note
vincent renzi nsfw alphabet? :3
Thank you for the ask anon ;D
I figured this would be the best way to start writing nsfw soooo :3c
Giggling. kicking my feet literally. If you want me to elaborate on any particular letter feel free to lmk :]
I tried to make it as gn as possible :p
Vincent Renzi x gn!reader
CW: Less descript-y than my usual works, different format basically, kinda drifted from the nsfw-ness of it in a few of the subpoints lol, NSFW
wc: (excluding the template) 1,2k
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
I feel like he would kiss you through your orgasm and after you've both come off your high he would get up lazily still basking in the afterglow... He would look so good doing it too, his tired eyes observing your still heaving chest. He would ask you if you need anything and provide it for you. A caring partner thats for sure.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also yours)
In this context- he likes his own fingers. You clearly like his hands and he confronted you about it jokingly a few times to tease you. The first time he uses them on you, oh mon dieu... His favourite part of you are your eyes. To look into them while you cum is like heaven to him. While he eats you out he likes to keep eye contact if possible...
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
I wouldn't say he's obsessed with you swallowing his cum. He is a tad bit opposed, being familiar with the risks it carries with it. He wouldn't be completely against it so if you feel like it, go for it.
D = Dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)
He's a massive yearner. He'd never tell you that but he made a social media account solely to stalk you on it and not for work like he assured you. He would gaze lovingly at your pictures if you post any or just stare at the blank profile picture icon imagining what you were doing at the time.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Mostly, he was pretty vanilla for most his life so if you want to try anything kinkier you should research it together to give him the security of knowing. When it comes to the basic things, fingering, eating out, different positions, he passes with flying colours.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Whatever you're comfortable with and whichever ones he can see your face in. He's obsessed with your face contorting into expressions of pleasure or pain if youre into it.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He stays pretty serious for most of the time, teasing you if he feels bold that day. When he feels like you're in a bad mood he tries his best to cheer you up in... many ways. He doesn't crack jokes at random times while you have sex though.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He's a clean man that's all I can say. His carpet does indeed match the drapes. And most importantly he cares for your comfort which makes him trim himself quite often. When it comes to his facial hair he sometimes forgets to shave and his moustache comes in. He noticed that that's when you make love most passionately so he sometimes 'accidentally' forgets to shave, when he's feeling particularly needy.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Oh big romantic type, the first time you had sex he did the whole, rose petals on the floor, candles lit and all. Every time you have sex it's a special occasion and he feels obligated to make it seem so every time. During the moment he's very tender with you, kissing you and whispering sweet nothings into your ears...
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Remember that social media account I was talking about earlier? The first time the thought crossed his mind to masturbate to your pictures he got so flustered he had to go to the bathroom and splash cold water on his face to get rid of the thought. After he has aquired your photos though he does it with only a twinge of embarrassment.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He's big into undressing you if you, the act of stripping your clothes from your perfect body, lord, he couldn't imagine anything as arousing. He is a vanilla man up untill it comes to you riding him. When he's in that state you could convince him to do anything.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Your bed, your patio on the outdoor sofa. You tried to convince him to go at it in his office at the law firm he works at but he got too flustered just at the thought and thought that he'd die of a heart attack if you were to actualise your fantasy.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
As previously mentioned, undressing you. It's not like he's a complete maniac, taking your shirt off in front of him won't make him faint but he still will get a little flustered. Begging. That's it. He also loves seeing you relaxed. Whenever you're lounging on the sofa he gets the urge to make you just a bit more tense...
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
I feel like he wouldn't degrade you unless you begged for it. He is also against impact play, but he's a covenantal man. Talk to him about it and you shall see.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Giving or recieving is fine. He's a master at eating pussy and if you aren't comfortable with oral he won't force you to do it. He will happily welcome it thought, giving you tips as you go.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Highly depends on his mood. If he's feeling particularly foul he won't have any qualms to pound you into the matress. If he's upset he'll go slow and sensual to relay to you how much you mean to him.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He prefers longer sessions to quickies. Fervency isn't what fuels him most so he prefers to go slow.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He likes experimenting, with certain limits of course. He prefers not to take risks, a calm and calculated man he is. When he warms up to you though, you could convince him to do it outside your bedroom (ex. the sofa on the patio).
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
When angry or self concious he can go for many rounds, his stamina knows no bounds when he's mad. Normally, he prefers 1-2 rounds a happy medium.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on you or themselves?)
He doesn't own any toys as he's too embarrassed to buy them, online or at brick-and-mortar. If you use any, he likes using them on you during your raptures to rile you up even more.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Oh this man adores teasing. Especially when he can see that you're too self-assured that day, he likes breaking down your barriers of faux confidence and making you melt in his grasp.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Aside from occasional grunts and moans he isn't very vocal. He loves listening to your sounds though. This man is generally lovestruck by you. With little sounds comes how quiet he is. Maybe that little office endeavour could happen then?
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I think he would go feral if you were to wear lingere for your first time with him. He is definitely a flatterer but he would be talking and thinking about you on the bed just in those perfectly enveloping you bra and panties... MON DIEU.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He is on the lean side with his medium height statue perfectly complimenting his overall shape... What? Oh yeah his dick. That's what this subpoint is about. He's hung, not uncomfortably so that you couldn't take him all at once but enough to not be able to put it in without some prep first.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Once again he will do it as often as you like, it all depends on you. Although once he's desperate he won't hold back on you and go at it for hours...
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
After clean up, he falls asleep in your arms pretty quickly spent from all the lovemaking. Sometimes he stays still just to face your sleeping form and watch your peacefull demeanor, safe from all the evils of the world when in his embrace.
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mandoalorian · 1 year
Text
taste of heaven
Joel Miller x F!Reader [smut]
Summary: You and Joel leave the quarantine zone in search of some medicine, when you come across a variant of the Cordyceps, taking life in the form of a pretty red flower. Whilst exposure to this mutated fungus doesn’t prove fatal, it does have some lasting effects.
Warnings: explicit, no minors. Sex pollen fic, exhibitionism, f!masturbation, fingering, tit play, degradation, jealousy, lots of begging, yearning/pining, implied age gap, mention of drugs/reader being drugged, cursing
Authors note: Please reblog to spread this fic around and it’s not showing up in tags! My requests & commissions are officially OPEN again! If you have any questions drop me a private message.
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'Nature vs. nurture' has been a discussion which had dominated centuries of wonder, and even in the year 2023, when the world had been wiped clean from humanity and only the hardened walked the streets, it was something that still preyed on your mind. The theory could be applied in many aspects; but one that you couldn’t quite navigate no matter how hard you tried, was how you had lasted this long living in a war-torn world. You often reflected on how you had kept yourself so clean and away from infected and bad people. You figured that for the first few years you had just gotten lucky. Your state was notified of the Cordyceps Infection before it hit and so you were given the opportunity to escape your city early. They were already building Quarantine Zone’s and conscripting Fedra military in August.
Until Christmas 2003, you stuck by your family. They were with you, alive, for the first three months of the outbreak. By this point, the Cordyceps infection wasn’t exactly seen as a ‘permanent’ thing and the government had yet to give up on finding a cure. One by one you lost your parents, grandparents and siblings, but not before you found solitude in a Quarantine Zone northwest of Rhode Island.
Those fragments of peace and liberty lasted a whole three years before Fedra wiped the town clean, and you had no choice but to evacuate. You headed towards Massachusetts, stopping by different QZ's, meeting new folk along your way.
But nothing was permanent. Ten years ago you found a home in Boston Quarantine Zone.
It wasn't a nice place, full of selfish people doing what they needed to do to get by. Rats on every corner, literal and personified, and so you did your best to stay out of trouble.
You’d take on little jobs and run errands to earn ration cards, and you would follow Fedra's orders to a tee. If there was such thing as a 'golden girl' in this world... well, that would be you.
And then you met Joel.
Joel wasn't a good guy, and he made sure you knew that when you first laid eyes on him. He was ruthless; a killer, and the type of person you should’ve stayed away from. You’d survived this long by keeping away from guys like him and yet, you found yourself drawn to him. There was something about his rugged handsomeness and dedication to survival that appealed to you. When you first met him, you noted that he was a man of a few words. He rarely offered you even a glance and if he did give care to give you his time of day, it would be nothing less than to mumble a warning to you.
It took Joel a while to warm up to you. The man seemed more than satisfied with his partner, Tess, than to even want to give you even just a bit of the minimal attention that you craved. You were unsure of Tess. She was very beautiful, with shoulder-length wavy hair and bright green eyes. You wondered if she and Joel were anything serious, or if they were merely just friends, or perhaps something in between. The pair were inseparable and often participated in smuggling runs together, or were hired as bounty hunters.
It was a smokey grey morning when Joel entered the makeshift QZ pharmacy where Fedra had you working. His dark eyes appeared sunken in and tired, a deep frown crossed his lips.
“I need fentanyl, morphine, oxycodone... something to take away pain.”
He was avoidant of eye contact, looking uncomfortable to even have to ask you of this. 
Your jaw slackened slightly and you furrowed your eyebrows together at the man's request. “Are you- are you okay?”
Joel scoffed and rolled his tongue over his lower lip. “It’s not for me.” He snapped back, already becoming irritated that you were questioning his request. It had nothing to do with you. 
Unamused by his attitude, you decided on shutting him down immediately. “I don't. We don't sell opioids here.” you glanced away from the man, feeling your cheeks become hot under his stern gaze. Now he was making eye contact and he knew exactly how to intimidate you. If Joel was anything, he was determined and if Joel wanted something he made sure he’d get it, no matter the means or consequences. 
“Fedra don't permit anything as... strong as that to be traded in the QZ.”
Joel grunted and slammed his fists on the cashier desk. “Don't play coy with me, girl,” he sneered, hissing through his teeth. “can’t have been the first person to come in and ask for this. You have to know where I can get it from.”
You swallowed, looking around the empty pharmacy for answers. “I know someone,” you said timidly. “Well, know of someone.”
“Take me to them.” Joel demanded, without missing a beat. His desperation was becoming clear. 
Seeing your hesitation, Joel brought his fingers down to the pistol that he'd stuffed in the back of his jeans, having been used to being able to make a sufficient threat. But then, before making any rash judgement, he stopped himself and placed a hand on the desk in front of you. He couldn't hold you at gunpoint. You were sweet, kind, and soft. In the many years of knowing him, you had been nothing but nice to Joel. It would be wrong to scare you like that.
Adjusting his composure, Joel took a deep breath and let his body relax. He could ease up around you. You wouldn't even hurt a fly; let alone pull any stunts on someone like him.
“Please." he said quietly, his brown eyes now appearing to be more pleasing than harsh. He could read you like an open book and he knew exactly how to wrap himself around you. You huffed out a sigh and contemplated giving him the information that he so desired. 
“There's a guy I've heard Simone talk about. He's housed up on the outskirts of Boston, about a three-hour hike from here. He's her dealer. He'll have what you're looking for, but Joel…" you reluctantly placed your hand down on top of the desk, next to his. “It's in Fairmount. But I don't feel comfortable leaving the QZ. I could get in trouble. And if this is for you— or your own personal dealing, then—”
And for the first time in weeks, Joel's lips curled into a small smile. He moved his hand over yours and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“You'll be okay,” he promised, and from the longing look in his eyes, you believed him.
“Can I ask, who is the medicine for?” you interrogated shyly after a few moments of silence. Joel's rough hands were still atop yours.
Joel broke eye contact with you. If he wanted you to be fully on board, then he had to start being honest. “Tess.”
“Is she okay?” you became alarmed, moving your hand away from Joel and already beginning to grab your supplies for the journey.
“She got into a fight with Robert and his men, she's badly beaten up. She just needs something strong to help her fight through it. She'll be okay. She's tough.” Joel wanted to curse himself for offering you so much information, knowing that Tess would've been mortified if she'd learned that he was telling you all of this. But he really needed your help.
“We best get going then,” you said, grabbing your rucksack from behind the countertop.
For a brief second, Joel admired your dedication to helping Tess. It bewildered him a little, knowing that Tess didn't exactly care enough about you to help you the same. Tess often muttered snide words about your inability to shoot a gun or your law-abiding attitude. She hated the way you would sink under authority, but Joel understood it. He understood that everyone had their different ways of surviving, and as long as it was working, then he wasn't one to judge. But right now, that didn't matter. Joel was just thankful that you'd agreed to go with him.
———
Somewhere along the journey, you noticed a shrub peppered with four-petaled flours, painted red with golden pollen in the centre. You’d never seen anything like them before, and you had studied horticulture a few years back in Rhode Island QZ. You found yourself magnetised by their beauty, and with Joel a few yards back from you, you decided to take some time to analyse the plant. Picking one from the bush, you rubbed the soft petals between your fingers and let the grains of pollen sink into your skin. When Joel got nearer, you stuffed the flower in your jacket pocket and continued walking alongside him.
You were about an hour away from Fairmount when you started to get dizzy. You weren’t hallucinating but your perception of your surroundings had certainly changed. The road ahead seemed short and thick and upon the horizon was a glowing pink line. 
“Do you see that?” You asked Joel, squinting your eyes as you extended your hand to point to the horizon.
Joel tried following your moving index finger but shook his head. “You’re pointing at everything and nothing. C’mon let's keep going.”
It started out with a burning sensation, your loins ignited and blazed inside of you. You tried to regulate your breathing and found yourself slowly losing concentration on whatever Joel was saying. You wanted to pay attention, you really did. You loved his voice, it was like honey and velvet and there was something about that damned Texan accent of his… you didn’t notice it before, but you were certainly noticing it now. Your nipples felt tender as they hardened and poked out from underneath your shirt and you silently prayed that they weren’t visible through your denim jacket. The air around you was suddenly humid and thick and moist. Moist… you let out a small whimper and stopped dead in your tracks.
Joel stopped too. “Are you okay?” he asked, observing your sudden reaction to the forbidden flower.
“I just need a second to catch my breath.” You exhaled, closing your eyes and desperately trying to cling onto oxygen. Joel glanced back at the trail you’d both been walking along. There had hardly been an incline.
Joel gave you a few moments and when you finally opened your eyes, you offered him a queasy yet confident smile. 
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Mhm,” you mumbled. “Let’s keep going. Nearly there now. What were you saying about the—ah, fuck.” You stopped again, feeling a sudden wetness in your panties. Bolts of electricity were shooting up and down your body and within just a matter of seconds, you felt the primal need for something to fill you. 
You looked at Joel and then looked away.
Joel said your name softly, drawled it out slowly like he was trying not to spook you. You refused to make eye contact with him, looking down at your feet. 
“Don’t lie to me,” Joel said. He placed a hand on your arm and you flinched away from him. “What’s going on?”
You bit your lip, pressing your thighs together hoping for some kind of relief to the ache between your legs. You’re looked around your surroundings, finding a large rock just a few acres away. Ignoring Joel, you sat down and he followed you on your tail. 
This was embarrassing. This was so embarrassing. 
“I don’t know what’s going on,” you admitted, dabbing at the beads of sweat that laced your hairline. “I feel hot and heavy and it’s hard to breathe, I feel like my clothes are constraining me and I’m… I feel…”
Joel crooked his head to one side.
“Joel,” you whispered. “Fuck Joel, fuck…” you hissed through your teeth. “Joel, Joel…” you panted his name like it was a sacred prayer. Joel would’ve been lying if he said hearing you chant his name like that didn’t turn him on.
Extending your arms, you reached out towards the man. He obliged, coming closer and kneeling down in front of you. He placed both of his hands on your thighs to illustrate comfort and gazed into your eyes. 
“What is it?” he quizzed further. 
You nervously swallowed and reached into the pocket of your denim jacket before bringing out the now crumpled-up flower you’d picked earlier. The pale yellow pollen slipped between your fingers and you dropped the flower on the floor. Upon seeing it, Joel’s dark eyes widened and he leaned away from you. 
“No, no, no,” you begged him, opening your legs and pulling him back into you, this time holding him as close as could be. “Fuck Joel, I— I don’t know— I don’t know what’s happening,” you squeaked, tears filling your eyes.
“Oh, sweet girl,” he shushed, but there was no denying the slight air of worry sprawled across his face. “What have you done?”
“I think it’s the flower… I just picked it up earlier because I thought it was pretty and, figured I could make a hair clip out of it or—“
“I’ve heard stories about those flowers,” Joel shook his head. “They’re a mutated form of Cordyceps… a variant that’s been growing like ordinary fungus, in environments, masking themselves as plants. I’ve never seen them before but… that’s what I’ve heard they look like.”
“Holy shit,” you whispered. “Am I infected?”
“No! No, no girl. You’re fine. You’re gonna be fine. These plants… they’re known to have a primal effect on their host. They want their host to reproduce so they release endorphins and, I… don’t know the science behind it but,”
“Joel,” you whispered. “Joel…” your voice trailed off, bringing your hands up to his cheeks as you cradled his face. Your thumbs brushed over his stubble which adorned his jaw and you admired the little missing patch of hair there that you’d never noticed before. “I’m fucking horny.” you breathed into admittance.
If you weren’t so worked up right now, you would’ve barked out a laugh at how ridiculous those words sounded leaving your lips. Joel swallowed, his adam’s apple bopping up and down in his throat. You licked your lips and waited for him to say something— anything. But he stayed quiet, only the slightest movement in his hand as he brought it to the inside of your thigh.
You tossed your head back at the gesture and Joel felt his cock throb in his pants at the sight of you coming undone over him. He noted the vein in your neck and the way your perfect lips parted in an O shape as he trailed his other hand up your waist and along your torso to the hem of your jacket. 
“We don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to… I’ll be okay if you just give me some privacy and I can… I can… you know,” 
“You need me and you know it,” Joel said gruffly, peeling back your jacket and letting it pool into a discarded pile on the floor. You already felt an air of relief wash over you as you lost an item of clothing. You hummed and leaned in closer to him, pressing your breasts which were now tight against your shirt into his face. “Say it.”
“I need you Joel,” you obliged. “Fuck, I need you so bad.”
“Tell me what exactly you need, baby girl,” Joel requested, bringing his hand to your breasts and massaging them through the material of your shirt. He pinched his finger over your protruding nipples and circled around them. He imagined nibbling it and sucking on them, and his mouth began to water.
“I need you, need your cock to fill me up. I want to wrap myself around you, tight, oh God, please,” you begged, grinding on the rock beneath you. The friction between the rock and jeans have you something, but it wasn’t enough. Joel discarded his jacket and unbuttoned his flannel shirt, throwing them to one side on the floor. 
“You want me that bad huh?” Joel chuckled, reaching down to his belt and unbuckling it. With a clink, that was on the floor too. 
“Need,” you corrected him. “This— this is fucking— fuck— I should be embarrassed.”
“But you’re not, because behind that sweet, good girl persona, you’re just a dirty, unfulfilled whore.” Joel seethed. If you didn’t know any better, you might’ve thought that was an insult, but his degradation only spurred you on more and you let out a moan. 
“Your whore,” you told him with a smile. You stood up and pulled down your jeans so you were now sat on the rock wearing nothing but your t-shirt and panties. Your legs still open, you dropped your hand to your crotch and started to rub yourself through the material of your panties. 
“Ah-ah,” Joel chastised, taking your hand away from your aching pussy and interlocking his fingers with yours. “Look how wet you are. From now on, only I’m allowed to touch you, okay?”
“Mm, sounds like you want me just as much as I want you,” you teased him, even surprising yourself at that little comment which escaped your lips. 
“I do,” Joel answered, bringing your hand down to his own crotch, allowing you to feel his bulge that was straining through his jeans. As if that wasn’t proof enough.
“What about Tess?” you couldn’t help but ask. Even while you were in heat, you found yourself thinking about what Joel and Tess got up to. What exactly their ‘partnership’ amounted to.
Joel smirked and pressed a kiss into the crook of your neck. “You jealous?” he mumbled against your skin. The low octave of his voice sent vibrations through your body. He licked a stripe down to your collar bone.
“Nuh-uh,” you shook your head. 
Every touch of his left a stain of fire.
“I think you are,” Joel teased. “You get jealous thinking about me fucking Tess— bending her over and taking her from behind.” 
You groaned. “Fuck you,” you whined, running your fingers through his greying brown hair. 
“Wouldn’t you like that?” Joel chuckled. 
Then, something caught your attention. You were drugged— ‘under the influence’— if you wanted a nicer way to put it. You wanted Joel but you had that damn mutated flower to blame, and yet Joel… this was raw. This was all him. He had nothing to blame other than himself because the truth is, he’s wanted you from the moment he laid eyes on you. 
“I fuck Tess,” he announced and you felt your face sour at his declaration. “But I wish it was you every damn time.”
You huffed as you let him take off your t-shirt. His eyes widened when he saw you weren’t even wearing a bra.
“Somehow I doubt that,” you muttered with a roll of your eyes. 
“Let me prove it to you.” Joel replied, this time his words holding the utmost meaning.
Joel unzipped his jeans and pulled them down to his knees, alongside his boxer shorts, revealing his long, thick cock. It was perfect, the dark pink head already leaking with milky white trails of precum. 
“You’re huge.” you couldn’t help but gasp out, making Joel laugh. You immediately eased at the sound of his chuckle. It wasn’t teasing or fake, but it was genuine and authentic. Dare you say, cute. 
But the little butterflies that fluttered in the pit of your stomach were short-lived. Your loins ached even more just at the mere sight of him and you eagerly ditched your panties within seconds. Leaning back, you made yourself as comfortable as you could be atop of the rock and spread your legs for him. What a sight to behold, you were. 
Joel admired your glistening folds as he eye-fucked your entire naked body. You brought your hands to your tits and began to play with them as you let him observe you.
“Please Joel,” you begged. “Let me feel you.”
Joel hovered over you and pressed his cock between your folds, rubbing the tip up and down, separating you. Obscene and lewd wet noises filled the quiet atmosphere as Joel gathered your juices on his manhood. 
“Such a pretty pussy,” Joel sighed, before bringing a thumb to your clit. He began to draw circles over the bundle of nerves, causing your body to jolt with the overbearing rush of pleasure. You knew you wouldn’t last long and you could feel your orgasm begin to creep upon you. But you needed more.
“Fuck me Joel, I need you inside of me.”
“Like this?” Joel asked and with one smooth motion, Joel thrusted his cock inside of you, your wet walls squeezing around him. “Oh shit.” he croaked out, taking a moment to adjust himself to the ethereal feeling of you wrapped around him. 
“Yes, just like that,” you praised. “Move now, please.”
For the first time, Joel followed your instruction without any tormenting or teasing. He’d wanted this just as bad as you did. Joel rocked his hips into you, building up a rhythm that you just couldn’t resist. His movements began to set out a pace but in time he quickened himself, focusing on getting closer to his high as he felt your own body quiver and shake underneath him. You knew he was close when his thrusts became sloppy and he chanted your name under his breath. 
Joel delved his face into your neck and you screamed as your climax came crushing down. Joel felt it too— the effect of your orgasm and what it had done to your body. Without any warning, Joel shot ropes of his cum into your pussy before slowly pulling out of you. The warmth of his seed painting your walls was enough to help you come down from your high. 
Joel rolled off you and laid next to you, atop of the rock.
The sky was growing dark now and nightfall was approaching. 
“Thank you.” you whispered when you regained your breath. You let yourself have a few moments to try and come to terms with what had just happened. By far, the best experience of your life. 
Joel leaned over onto his side and looked at you, feeling completely enamoured with your beauty. You were still flushed and sweating but the effects of the flower had worn off now, and you were doing much better.
“Before, when I said I thought of you when I was with Tess… I wasn’t lying,” Joel admitted. “I don’t want you to think…”
You smiled, tangling your fingers into his hair and pushing his face down to meet yours. You offered him a soft, tranquil kiss and Joel moaned at the affection. Your lips were so soft, exactly how he’d imagined. If he could, he’d kiss them forever.
“Is she your girlfriend?” you asked after pulling away.
“It’s not like that at all,” Joel replied. “We just… we’re there when we need each other, y’know?”
You nodded your head silently.
“I don’t want this to be a one-time thing,” Joel announced, feeling a rush of nerves and anxiety race through his body. “I mean, not the Cordyceps flower. And not just the sex. But I want to see you again, after today. And I understand if you don’t feel the same way— I know, we’re so different and I ain’t a good guy. Maybe a girl like you would be better on your own, but damn it, I like you and—“
“I like you too,” you cut him off. “Maybe when we get back to Boston, you can take me out on a date?”
Joel grinned, a dimple appearing in his right cheek. There was those butterflies again.
“Alrighty then.” Joel beamed and you pressed another kiss to his lips. “It’s a date.”
-------
taglist: @januarycolor @anapnovo-blog @pardebellesnuits @mi0o@supervengerslock@alitaar@bigpepperpicker@pedrostories@pedroprinces@
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the mindset journey
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So hi.
My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.
TLDR:
Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.
Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?
It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.
Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)
Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.
Revision is so powerful, use it.
It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.
And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33
I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.
The Initial Mindset:
I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.
The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There’s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.
When Everything Changed:
I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.
For example,
“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”
Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.
“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”
I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.
“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”
First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.
“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”
Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.
“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”
Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.
“Can I manifest-”
Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.
“But-but, what if-”
Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?
I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.
How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!
-cinna
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jynxpsiche · 9 months
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Not Tangerine already planning on fathering reader's baby as his won, cause hey, the baby also has blue eyes so he can totally pass of as their son.
Also imagine if the real dad ever shows up and tries come back into the baby's life and Tangerine is all conflicted cause he loves the kid as if it's his own son :/
OH MY GOD THANK U SO MUCH ANON FOR REQUESTING THIS! LITERALLY CHEF KISS! We love a jealous Tangerine <3
Unwanted texts
💌. Summary: unanswered texts from her, lead Tangerine to meet someone he already despised…
or
…Tangerine meets the baby’s biological father for the first time.
💌. Warning: SWEARING. LIKE A LOT! Jealous Tangerine, female reader, canon gore. English is not my first language! I don’t know many British slangs!
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X
c’mon babe
I just wanna meet the baby
be there for them, y’know?
pls answer me
It’s been already a couple of days and sometimes, during different hours of the day and night, your phone would ding with notifications…from him.
Your ex boyfriend.
The biological father of your precious baby.
The whole situation pissed you off. Firstly, when he found out about your pregnancy, he decided to leave without an explanation and leave you alone. Then he had the nerve to message you after god knows how many years.
It was ridiculous. He was ridiculous.
But obviously you couldn’t ask for any type of help from Tangerine.
He was quite the protective type, especially if the main cause was a shitty ex-boyfriend.
Surely he would have gone feral if he found out about your ex’s sudden texts. That’s why you decided to keep the thing for yourself and just…ghost him.
But who would have known that you would end up calming down a rather irate Tangerine?
However, it’s important to start from the beginning.
It was a day off for Tan, which meant that he would have spent the entire day with you and his little one. But since it was still too early to get up, for now he simply drank in your warmth and cuddled your body closer to his, without waking you up.
The curly man was affectionate only with his girl and his baby, neither to his brother he showed this side of his. He wasn’t ashamed of it, he just had a reputation to defend.
His chin was placed on your head while you were all nuzzled in the crook of his neck. His strong and bulky arms were tightly wrapped around your waist, not allowing you to leave. Not that you wanted to.
Only your soft breaths echoed through the room. But the peaceful atmosphere was interrupted by the ping of a notification. The sound made him grimace, but not waking up from his slumber.
Then another ping, closely followed by another and another one.
Now Tangerine was fully awake, his half-closed eyes glaring at the device on your nightstand. When he noticed no more ding’s came from your phone, he softly pecked your forehead before trying to fall asleep again.
But then again. A new message.
Groaning softly, Tan lifted himself from the bed, before pecking your forehead again and assured that you didn’t wake up.
He was not standing on your side of the bed, the device on your nightstand calling for him to check what had interrupted his sleep.
With a furrowed and irritated expression, Tangerine unlocked your phone, noticing new messages unopened. They had been sent just a couple of minutes ago.
He quickly glanced at your sleeping figure, a strange feeling bubbling in his chest. His expression furrowed more when he saw the contact’s name. X.
Who the fuck was that?
But he surely was took by anger when he read the multiple messages he sent you.
He wasn’t only a dickhead, but he was also the biological father of his son.
His bloodshot eyes read every line and every word of every message he dared to sent you. His fingers gradually tightening their grip around the device.
The another ding. Another message.
X
I know ur reading the texts
ur online
u finally have the courage to read what I’ve been sending you
u stopped ghosting me huh?
God you’re such a bitch sometimes…
His vision darkened at the last text he sent, nostrils fuming with rage.
X
I want to see the kid
Meet me here
Xx xx xx, xx
“Tan? You good?” Your sleepy and raspy voice reached his ears and immediately he turned towards you, his furious expression never leaving his face.
You noticed, of course. Slowly you rose from your spot on the comfy bed and lazily dragged herself up to his tense figure, wrapping her delicate arms around his waist.
A soft kiss on his back.
“What is making you so tense?” You whispered against his skin, your hands gently rubbing his sides. Tan slightly crocked his head in your direction, his brows still furrowed. A sigh left his lips.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He instead asked with a low tone laced with rage. “Why did you hide it from me?” His tone showed how he strongly demanded an answer.
“I could have handle it. I simply didn’t answer his texts to show him how an insignificant being like him should be six feet under. To show him how he was a nobody to me anymore.” Your tone was flat, laced with venom, finally expressing all your suppressed rage.
His expression immediately softened at your words, his brows relaxing and the wrinkles on his forehead disappearing. The tails of his mouth slightly raised in an almost visible smile.
But you noticed it.
When he turned in your direction, his hands on your waist, his lips left a soft peck on your forehead. His face was calm and so close to yours.
“I’m goin’ to take care of him. Don’ worry.” He whispered, his soothing voice sending you in a sleepy mood. A light yawn left your mouth. He chuckled at your reaction.
“Now go to sleep love.”
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After you fell into another peaceful but deep slumber, Tangerine got to work.
With Lem’s help (after calling him for twenty minuets straight, the poor man was sleeping) he managed to find the phone location and so the location of the fucker.
It was now 3:45 am and Tan was alone in a desert neighbourhood. Silence was his only company at the moment.
He stood still in front of an apartment complex, his eyes fixed on a specific window while the cigarette in his hand slowly burnt.
With a flick he tossed the small nicotine stick and put it out with a stomp of his foot. His lips were curled into an annoyed curl.
Silently, he climbed the fire escape with big steps and in a blink of an eye his shadow was printed in front of the covered window, blinds hiding the inside.
But a faint light from behind them immediately caught his attention, a sadistic grin creeping on his moustache.
His hand grabbed the gun from his pocket and he shot the window’s lock, allowing him to access to the apartment.
Frantic, disconnected noises echoed from inside. Tangerine knew the fucker heard him.
Only when he entered he was met with a younger, dull man, his face pale and his eyes wide from fear. “Who…who the fuck are you?!” He half shouted, his voice cracking a bit.
The man wanted to show his composure so bad, show him how collected and tough he was. But in reality, he was shitting in his pants.
With great strides, Tangerine approached the trembling man, his pistol clearly visible. “‘s not important, is it? Wha’ is important is why you fuckin’ harassing my love with your insipid messages.” He spat out in a hard tone, his rigid stare piercing the man’s soul.
The man’s eyes frantically wandered around, he is searching something to defend himself thought Tan. Quick pants from the man often broke the silence in the room.
He took a step back, his hands shaking uncontrollably. His body language was visibly betraying him. “Just…the fuck you want from me?!” He continued in a fake authoritative voice.
Tangerine held his face high, communicating how he was in control. Slowly his arm raised and he pointed the gun in the man’s forehead.
“I want you to delete her number, to forget about her and the baby and to never contact her again.” He stated with calm rage. His tone extremely sharp.
When the man was the pistol pointed at his head, his confident mask fell, his eyes filled with tears and his still standing posture crouched on himself. Shamelessly he nodded his head at every request, his voice dead in the back of his throat.
Suddenly, Tangerine shot the man in the leg and he stumbled back. A cry came out from his mouth.
“This’s your last warnin’.”
432 notes · View notes
fictionobsession · 3 months
Text
devotion
Pairing: Alastor x f!Reader
Summary: She would give anything for him.
Word Count: 1,997
Warnings: blood, canon typical violence, Alastor being psychotic
A/N: okay friends, first time writing for Al. this was not beta'd or really edited at all so if something seems weird just... assume I meant to fix it. also, this was written as a QPR, but there's a little feelings on reader's side if you squint. I'm not 100% on how in character this is for Alastor, but we tried and that's what matters right
---
She plopped onto the shitty couch and pulled her knees to her chest, looking around the shitty house where they'd been hiding out in the middle of this shitty swamp for the last two shitty weeks. The wallpaper was peeling and yellowed, the floors covered in mold and mildew, the running water only worked half the time, and, more importantly, the refrigerator was empty as of six nights prior. Her stomach rumbled just thinking about a nice juicy cut. She sighed, closing her eyes and allowing herself to sink into the daydream of food.
She knew when she'd gotten into this hobby with Alastor that there was a non-zero chance she would wind up on the run someday. She just wished they could have put it off a bit longer, had a bit more fun. She laid her head back against the rotting couch until she heard the creak of the floor near the front door.
Her eyes snapped open and her brows furrowed as she took in Alastor's hunting attire.
“Al, where do you think you're going?”
“Well, my dear, unless you feel like us both starving to death in this dismal abode, I thought I'd better go get some food.”
“Alastor. You know we've heard the dogs nearby. You can't possibly go out there without getting caught, at least until we've had a couple days where we haven't heard 'em.”
“Again, starving is not on my agenda, so we don't particularly have another choice.”
Another choice. Her face hardens as she realizes what another option might be. She stood up and crossed the room, grabbing Alastor's arm before he could open the door. “There is a way for us to make it out of this without you leaving. Or rather, a way for one of us to make it out of this.”
He hummed, and she could see the wheels turning as he put together what she was implying. “I'm not sacrificing myself for you to get away, you know.”
“I know. That's why I'm just asking you to get it over with quickly. You'll get more time, and I – well, I'll at least get to go out on my own terms. If I have to go, at least it'll be for you.”
His eyes widened just a bit, more reaction than she'd usually get, before he shrugged. “Okay. Painless it is. Not usually my style, but I think I can figure it out.”
She laughed, a genuine, full laugh. “I know, Al, and that's why we've worked out so well. But I think you could at least do that much for me.”
He pulled his hunting knife from where he had already slid it into his belt. “Are you ready?”
And with one nod, everything went black.
-
It seemed instantaneous, appearing in hell. She looked around, taking in the chaos around her. Literal dumpster fires, public sex, casual street murders, Hell had it all. Of course, arriving in Hell wasn't a surprise for her. You don't kill that many people and expect to get into Heaven. She wasn't even sure she had believed in the whole afterlife thing until she was experiencing it. She shrugged it off, finding the closest place with a mirror she could use for free.
Her body was... different, certainly. But intact, and honestly, she was quite happy with it. Given the various types of demons she'd seen just in her brief time there, it could've been a lot worse. She wandered, putting together a plan of action for getting herself set up in Hell. It seemed she would need income to make most things happen, which made finding a job a top priority. She also needed a place to sleep, as it seemed unsafe at best to stay on the streets.
She got a job fairly quickly at Ozzie's, though she wasn't thrilled with the outfit they made her wear for the whole thing. But it was money, and easy work, so she stuck with it. Asmodeus offered her a fairly decent rate on rent nearby, as well, so she could have done worse.
Shortly after getting settled, she started feeling pressure on her body in random locations and at seemingly random times, almost like someone was grabbing or poking her to get her attention. Occasionally she'd get hot spots, which she at first attributed to it being hot in Hell. Little scrapes and cuts would appear sometimes as well, but they always healed up quickly. It wasn't until the final time it happened that she realized what had been happening over the past few weeks.
A perfect bite imprint appeared on her forearm, accompanied by a sharp pain, and she realized it must have been an effect of Alastor in the living world. She traced her finger over the mark, which had healed into almost a scar, but not quite. It was a bit pink, but wasn't angry and fresh. She smiled a little to herself, happy that her sacrifice hadn't been in vain.
As time went on, she found herself tracing the mark when she was feeling stressed, upset, or particularly lonely. It never healed all the way, making it always a bit sensitive to touch, and served as a reminder of why she was here. The mark always made her feel closer to Al, which brought a little comfort when things got crazy.
She had managed to stay within the same few blocks that she knew were heavily policed by Asmodeus's people. However, six months into her stay in Hell, she finally had to leave her little neighborhood to buy some things for the bar. She packed her gun, a knife, and made sure she was dressed inconspicuously – the rumors about the surrounding areas were very...detailed...about what might happen to someone who ended up on the wrong side of a fight.
Unfortunately, her preparation didn't keep her from getting spotted by some Sharks outside the store as she started back toward her apartment. She tried to hurry, sliding between demons and other sinners, before slipping down an alley to attempt to lose her tail. It was too late by the time she realized it was a dead end, and the Sharks started cutting off her only entrance.
She took one step, two, keeping them in her sight until her back hit the brick wall behind her. Her hand reached for her gun, ready to pull it when the lead Shark got close enough. Their glares were paralyzing, and she could smell the smoke and alcohol on them at that distance. She felt herself start to shake, taking a deep breath to steady herself before -
“You wouldn't want people to think you're picking on those of fairer means would you?” The sound and feeling of static crackled through the air like lightning as a dark shape enveloped the opening to the alleyway. A long, thin shadow ripped through the air, straight through the lead Shark, throwing him against the side of the neighboring building.
Green sparks shone through the seemingly infinite blackness, a pair of what could only be described as antlers growing from the approaching shape. Two more tendrils, picking up the remaining Sharks and tossing them into the air like dolls. She wanted to close her eyes, but couldn't look away from the gore. Sure, she had seen a lot of violence in her time in Hell, but she hadn't seen that level of overkill in quite some time.
As the last of the Sharks fled only to get a tendril through the skull, she pressed herself as far into the corner as possible, sliding down the wall and pulling her knees to her chest. There was only the hope that the demon forgot she existed, and the knowledge that if he hadn't, she would likely be next up for second death.
The shadow approached, darkness fading as he got closer until finally it revealed a man. A tall man, with horns, but just a man, nonetheless. He was straightening out his red coat, and twirling something around in his hands as he approached. “Always good to have an excuse to let off a little steam. Always good.”
He put a hand out to help her up. As she lifted herself off the ground, he was already vaguely shaking her hand, introducing himself. “Name's Alastor, pleasure to meet you. Quite a pleasure.”
His name hit her ears about the time he caught a glimpse of her bite, and both stopped dead in the middle of introductions. She looked up, eyes widening as she realized that yes, that was a microphone, and yes, in fact, it had been quite a while since she'd seen that level of overkill, one could even say since her living days. He looked different now, sure, but as soon as she looked into his eyes, she knew that was her Al.
“Well maybe don't wait so long to come save my ass next time, eh, Al?” She smirked up at him, waiting for him to process what was happening. His nails traced the pattern of his own bite on her arm. She caught sight of his tongue tracing across his teeth, as if he was just then realizing how different they'd really become. “I bet your imprint looks a bit different now, doesn't it?” She spoke more to herself than to him as she reached to pull her sleeve down over the mark.
“Why, I should hope so, my dear. I should very much hope so. Let's see just how much it's changed then!” Without any more warning than that, he pulled her arm to his mouth and bit, hard. The new mark bled, sure, but it healed up more quickly than it probably should have, covering his old impression with his new one. His ears twitched subconsciously, his ever-present smile nearly faltering as he watched the blood drip, drip, drip down her arm. He shook himself out of whatever thoughts were distracting him rather quickly before acting like no time had passed at all since they'd been together last. “Now, I don't think I should leave you alone again. It seems to me that you still can't stay out of trouble, my dear! Come along, let me show you where I've been staying!”
“But – Hang on! Al! I've got to go to work!”
“Ah, there'll be no more need of that anymore. We'll send a notice to... whoever you're working for when you get settled.” He raised an eyebrow, practically daring her to argue. She knew, though, that she'd never gone against what he'd wanted before, and she didn't particularly want to start now. She took the elbow he'd offered her and allowed him to lead her out of the alley.
Occasionally, as they walked, she would catch sight of a shadow that seemed to be following them.
“Oh, don't mind them. They're just keeping an eye on your wellbeing. You better get used to it! Having a friend like me, why, other overlords will just be dying to get their hands on you!”
She scoffed, a look of adoration crossing her features before she tactfully replaced it with annoyance. “I'm not going to get any rest now, am I?”
“Oh contraire, ma cherie! You're going to get everything you've ever wanted and deserved. I owe you that after what you did for me up there, wouldn't you say?”
“Oh I just can't wait to show you Cannibaltown! You've got to meet Rosie, yes. You'll get along very well, very well indeed. And she makes the most delectable little treats! Maybe we'll go by tomorrow.”
As he continued rambling, she hummed approval when appropriate, watching him out of the corner of her eye with a mix of caution and longing. As he led her down streets she'd never seen before, she realized maybe this was all her afterlife had needed after all.
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indieyuugure · 10 months
Note
I really really like indie TMNT designs,but it seems there are many scars on Leo and Raph's shells(Especially Leo,omg look his back!)
How did them get these terrible scars?btw Mikey's shell is the most complete,his big brothers must have protected him well(just my guess)
You can also tell me it is a big secret and I have to wait until the story mentions it
I actually intended to say where each scar came from, but I didn’t have enough space on the files 😭 so I’ll tell you guys now.
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Leo’s scars are from his fight with the Shredder. I use the “a” and “b” thing on the different models as more like a before and after. Leo got the scar over his eye when he was younger while brawling with Raph and the other scuffs and chips came from training.
The double slashes across his chest, the chunk missing from his carapace and the X scar on his knee are from the Shredder. I can’t reveal exactly what that fight looked like but I think you can use your imagination for now. :\
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Raph’s scars are from a variety of different events. Though most of them happened in the past. He had the lightning bolt chips from before he was mutated as a baby, Splinter doesn’t really know where they came from, but supposedly Raph(being so aggressive) had been bought and returned four times before Splinter purchased them, so probably one of his previous owners dropped him after his tried to nibble their finger off.
The various scuffs and chips come from training with his brothers. The scar on his lip was from him and Mikey daring each other to do stupid crap. The one on his leg was from falling off a pipe that had a bolts sticking out of it. He fell off and on the way down ripped open the side of his leg. It wasn’t very deep though, so it looks a lot worse than it is.
The two that came later are the X scars on his cheek and the crack in his carapace. The X was from a foot soldier, and the crack was from taking a Shuragen for Casey. These both happen at the same time as Leo’s scars, during the Invasion.
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Donnie has less scars than Leo and Raph, but still has quite a few. The majority of them are very hard to see if not because you can’t. Some of them are the usual scuffs and chips from wrestling, but the other ones that are more like actual scars go along the natural creases in his shell or are under his gear. He got these from the “certain incident” that Raphael and Bishop had words over, aka Raph beat him up and said if you touch my family again, I will torture you to death.
He has a few internal scars as well, mostly in his mind, but also like literally inside him. He broke his arm during the Invasion in a way that damaged the joint, he gets most of it back, but he can’t carry too much weight on it, which, isn’t to bad because he’s ambidextrous, but it still bugs him a lot that his strength isn’t symmetrical anymore.
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Mikey, as you noticed, has by far the least scars out of his brothers. He’s got a few scuff and chips from sparing like the rest, though he’s broken his nose several times from falling off his skateboard, crashing into things and miss use of his nunchucks. He also scrapes his knees a lot but refuses to wear knee pads because he says they look “lame.” Mikey has also had several concussions throughout his life from basically all of the above.
His most noticeable scar, of course is the one on his chin that he got fighting a foot soilder who slashed him with a katana. He is very proud of it for some reason, I guess he thinks it looks really hardcore.
Good question! Sorry all this info didn’t fit on the files XD I’ll have to compile it all somehow,(probably in a dox file or something) I’ll figure it out. Lol
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moon-fics · 1 year
Text
Who Is She?-Simon "Ghost" Riley
A/n: This is definitely a slay! REPOST! This is my work I'm reposting it! I hope ya'll enjoy it!
Summary: You're new to the team but there's something about you Ghost can't quite understand.
Warning: Swears, mention of injury/blood
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When Ghost first saw you, he was caught off guard by your appearance. You had a mask that covered the bottom half of your face, an emotionless glaze over your eyes. He almost attacked you with how tense you looked while under his glare, assuming you were an enemy spy snooping around. You got lucky that Price appeared right behind you with a warning look pointed at him. When you noticed Price your body relaxed enough to put Ghost at ease. 
“Simon this is-” Your eyes widen as he begins to introduce you. Before Price can continue, you butt in.
“Trick.” You finish Price’s sentence with a low tone. Price is unfazed by your interruption but waits in case you have more to say. After a few seconds, he guesses you don’t want to talk anymore and pats your back. 
“She’ll be joinin’ you on the Taskforce’s mission. She’s got inside information that we can use and she’s a bloody good shot.” Ghost is barely listening to Price as he observes you. Your eyes are locked with his and he can’t tell what you’re thinking. Usually, he’s able to read someone quickly, but he can barely stand looking at you directly. There’s something about you that makes him uncomfortable and he can’t figure out what.
“I hope you two can work well together since she’ll be next to you the whole time.” Price has a tone that tells Ghost not to argue.
“Him?” You point at Ghost with curious eyes. Price raises an eyebrow in amusement and nods. Ghost is sure he’s missed an important conversation to make Price chuckle at your confusion.
---
You took Price’s words literally because even before the mission you stand near Ghost. Not close enough to bother him or get in his way, but enough to be noticed by the other teammates. Soap has tried to make conversation with you but whenever it gets too personal you put up a strong wall. 
“You should have seen us on our last mission! We barely made it out alive, I’m just glad Ghost didn’ crash the car we used to get away!” Soap explains with a large grin. You nod along, listening to his every word. Ghost is sitting next to you busy making sure Soap doesn’t fabricate any details to make himself seem cooler. “You ever been on missions?”
“I have and they’ve all been successful.” You say nonchalantly as if that isn’t something to be proud of. Ghost can’t help but want to hear about them, but he knows you won’t tell. However, Soap does not and he presses deeper.
“Any impressive injuries? I’m sure ya have a few intense scars!” Just as Soap finishes his sentence there’s a shift in you. From a willingly social attitude to an empty person, your smile falls. The wall builds itself back up and just like that Ghost loses you.
Not a single member has been able to get a single detail of who you are, but Ghost has seen a few things. 
For example, you always smell like roses, except one day when you smelled like vanilla, you seemed upset you had a different shampoo. He also notices you like watching him polish his guns, even if that means sitting in silence awkwardly. 
Even though you hide the bottom of your mouth he can still tell when you’re smiling or frowning because you’ll allow your eyes to give it away. Those are the only times he can actually get a read on you, any other and you’re like a brick wall. It’s not because you show too many emotions or hide your eyes, you just have nothing within them. Nothing he can understand at least. 
You sit next to Ghost as he sharpens his knives carefully. Your eyes never leave his hands and it makes him feel nervous. He doesn’t understand why his hands are sweating and why your eyes are so pretty in this light. 
He reaches for another knife to sharpen and your eyes lock onto it. There’s the smallest amount of interest showing and he can’t help but enjoy how comfortable you’ve become with him. It’s only been a couple weeks but you’ve been showing more emotions around him, only him. He sharpens the knife and puts the cover over the blade. He sighs heavily before handing you it. You give him a smile that not even the mask can hide and gladly take it. 
Ghost doesn’t converse with you often, instead, he has small moments like this. He honestly prefers silent company over eggshell conversations and he can tell you do too.
A week before the mission you seem to sit closer to him and try to be closer physically. He can’t tell why, but he assumes it’s your nerves. You seem protective over him, keeping an eye out whenever you’re around him. He can’t say he doesn’t enjoy having someone to be alert with.
---
Ghost sits next to you on a rooftop, sniper rifles resting on the edge. It’s dark out now, the stars lighting the sky beautifully. Both of you are sitting against the roof edge waiting for the signal to aim. He hasn’t said a word and neither have you.
After a few minutes, Soap comes on the line telling them the targets are in sight. Ghost was assigned one man while you got the other but knowledge was limited on what to expect. Ghost already has his rifle aimed at his target, but something doesn’t feel right.
“I used to know him.” Your voice is low while staring through the scope of your rifle. It takes Ghost a second to realize you’re talking to him and not yourself. His eyes land on your figure, your hands trembling over the trigger, hesitating. For the first time since he’s met you, he can tell exactly what you’re feeling and he wishes he didn’t. When you pull away from the scope your eyes reflect such an empty void. “It’s a trap!” You yell right as gunfire rings out. Bullets barely miss Ghost’s body and you quickly knock him down. The border around the roof is the only thing keeping the two of you from getting shot. 
Ghost watches as you crawl to the roof ladder, the only way off the building. He’s quick to follow, hoping they aren’t too exposed. He’s about to ask how they’ll get onto the ladder without getting killed when you quickly lift him up to his feet. He’s amazed at your strength, almost bamboozled by it. You shove him over the edge and he almost misses the ladder’s steps, gripping them to stop from falling to his death.
“Are you fuckin’ crazy?!” He yells. He’s safe on the ladder, whoever is shooting at them can’t get a view of him here. You on the other hand are extremely exposed and you know this. You have mere seconds to join him on the ladder and yet you don’t. Instead, you disappear from his view, retreating back to the rifles. He screams your name but gets no response. He hears you fire your gun and the sound of screaming from below. You hit your target but compromised yourself in the process. He begins climbing up the ladder to make sure you aren’t dead when your covered face reappears. He sighs in relief, climbing back down to give you room. You make it over the border of the roof and climb down as fast as you can, but it’s not enough. A bullet grazes your shoulder and one hand lets go of the ladder. Blood is soaking through your sleeve and your grunt in pain. 
“Fucking climb, dumbass!” You scream at him and he follows your orders even though he’s in charge. You struggle to reach the ground successfully and Ghost has to grab your waist to make sure you even touch it. He’s still surprised by your tone earlier. Not once have you ever raised your voice like that and it kind of amuses him. Once the mission is over he’s going to get more information on you one way or another.
----
You’re leaving the Taskforce soon, you said so yourself yesterday. He was minding his own business, walking back to his room when he ran into you. You didn’t smell like roses, you didn’t smell like anything actually. You seemed distant towards him, unable to make eye contact. Your mask was sloppily put on, revealing a bit of your nose. The way you spoke was cold and it stung him. It felt like all the progress he made with you had been crushed by your wall.
That’s when he decided to confront Price, to get answers on who you are and how you knew the enemy enough to know the mission was a trap.
“Who the bloody hell is Trick? Why did you bring her in for this mission?” He demands. Price is sitting behind his desk, files piled in front of him. He’s not new to Ghost’s frustration and he understands where it’s coming from. You seem to know way more than you let on about the people the force is targeting. Price also understands that it’s not his place to talk about what you’ve gone through.
“Either she tells you or it remains unknown.” Ghost knows better than to argue further, but he can’t watch you leave without all the answers he needs. It’ll eat him up inside with all the questions swarming his head.
So, he heads to your room, his feet stomping the concrete floor. Once he reaches your room he knocks loud enough to wake someone up. He waits a few seconds before banging again. This time he can hear movement from the other side.
You open the door with your mask perfectly on. You have the same infuriatingly empty look on your face and he can’t stand it anymore. He can’t handle all the new emotions inside him, especially how scared he was when he watched the bullet scrape your arm. How fragile you looked as you helped you onto the helicopter back to base. You weren't masking yourself anymore and he could see the fear in your eyes the entire ride back to base.
“Who the fuck are you?” He’s harsh with his words and you don’t even move. He’s never been angry towards you, sure you’ve seen him yell at someone, mainly Soap, but never you. 
“I didn’t think you’d actually ask.” Your words reboot his brain. He was expecting push back or a refusal of information, instead, you step away from the door and wait for him to enter your room. It’s going to be a long night.
-
“I knew the target because I used to date him.” You explain, sitting on your bed. You’ve answered all of Ghost’s questions, every single one he can think of. You were open to him for the first time and you didn’t hide your emotions, you let them out. It’s a sight only he’ll get to see and he’s happy about it. “It was before I knew what he was doing, I swear. I had already been trained for combat before I met him so it was easy to escape. I had already begun taking out his connections when Price invited me to the team.” 
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Is all he can ask, it’s his last question. He knows you’re probably exhausted from hearing him ask so many things.
“I was ashamed that I dated a man as bad as him. I know it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t know about what he was hiding, but still.” You hum. 
There’s a long silence, Ghost digests the information you’ve given him and he begins to understand you more. Price most likely handed you to him because he knew you’d be comfortable around someone who doesn’t talk as much as the rest of the team. You wouldn’t be questioned by him and you wouldn’t feel as inclined to hide. 
Out of the corner of his eye, he can see your hands coming up to your face. You remove your mask revealing a scar along your lip. It’s not deep but it’s noticeable. That’s the final indicator that you trust him, that maybe these feelings he’s been having aren’t solely his.
“So, what now?” You question, your voice soft. A single word pops into his head the second you spoke, and it grows bigger the longer he remains quiet. It’s practically screaming itself in his head.
“Stay.” Your eyes are wide when looking at them and he loves what he sees inside them. There’s a spark of hope, something he’s never seen from you. It makes him challenge himself to see if he can cause that same look every day. 
“Maybe I will.”
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