#<== all only mentioned. but still. tagging for those who dont wanna hear about that today. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eulangelo · 3 years

Text

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ]

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post.

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with.

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

#genderfluidlucifer #transmisogyny tw #terfs tw #ask to tag #txt #long post #ok to rb

351 notes · View notes

allyouneedisbuck · 3 years

Text

Saturday Sun I

Summary: it’s the beginning of may. mother’s day has come and gone, with your family trip coming up and things are seemingly falling apart even more. you and harry are forced to come head to head with real issues. (harry x fem!reader)

Word Count: 1.3K (second part will be the longer piece)

Warnings: Angst. Cheating. Find all in depth warnings in the first two parts.

Notes: hello, part three is divided into two parts, this first one focusing on some conflict & the second part to it will focus more on family dynamic & light resolution. part of this piece has harry’s pov instead of entirely the readers.

Part One & Two (along with a companion piece) can be found in my h.s masterlist!

i need to ask her

what’s going on?

are we going strong?

May - Part I

It’s the Monday before your flight.

April had come and April had gone and you were still struggling to focus on anything but your kids and issues with Harry. You suppose that’s okay, your next deadline was months away and with the trip coming up all you could focus on were those things.

Mother’s Day had slipped your mind completely. You were busy making lists and triple checking flight info to even think of asking the kids and Harry about their plans.

“How was your weekend? Everything went well?” Dr. Walsh’s voice forces you to look up from the new watch that adorns your wrist.

You glance at Harry, who waits for you to answer. You shrug. “It was nice… Harry and the kids treated me yesterday.”

The watch is a beautiful rose gold color and is a thin band compared to the band of your last watch. Your kids initials had been engraved onto the inner band. It was, by all means, a lovely and well thought out gift. Not only replacing the watch you had worn for a decade and had finally snapped, but reminding of the best parts of your life.

“Tell me about your day!” Dr. Walsh smiles kindly. Her eyes move between you and Harry, polite and u judging, before landing on your wrist.

“I got breakfast, at the table, breakfast in bed is too hectic with three kids and a baby.” You laugh softly, thinking of the kids and their not well hidden excitement for your day. “And they all got me gifts. The twins made clay handprints in school. Seph picked out a new wallet for me and even bought it on her own!”

It’s impossible to contain your happiness that rolls off of you when you talk about the kids. Bragging about their thoughtfulness and kind gifts makes you almost forget where you are.

“That sounds so lovely.” Dr. Walsh brings you back down. Your eyes move to Harry. His eyes are open and he’s smiling softly as you speak. But his fingers are fidgeting in his lap and you know he had hoped you would be proud of his gift too.

And you were. But maybe that was the worst part. That it was kind hearted and well thought out and so very Harry that you almost hated it. You hated how one small gift had caused a sliver of hope to crawl into your bloodstream and make your heart race for him again.

That it made you believe, for one brief moment, all his promises and words about never falling out of love with you and never wanting to let you go.

“Harry got me a watch too.” You finally say, quiet and full of despair. “Mine snapped a few weeks ago… It has the kids initials in it. It was a good day.”

Dr. Walsh nods. “It’s a lovely watch.” Her eyes move pointedly from it on your wrist to you. “So what’s wrong?”

You fiddle with it, twisting it on your wrist and tapping the face anxiously. “It feels tainted.” You steadily avoid looking at Harry as you say the words. Dr. Walsh nods, but doesn’t say anything, silently urging you to continue. “I love it. And that… makes me feel guilty. And it makes me feel dumb because one stupid gift made me forget this bullshit for a second and I just felt that love for him again.”

There’s an intake of breath to your right, but Dr. Walsh doesn’t look at all shocked by your words. “It makes sense. You want to be angry. You have a right to be angry and when something gets in the way of that, you’re unsure of how to feel.”

You nod. Her words make sense. You did want to be angry and after your brief elation with the gift you found you still were.

“I am going to feel like this for the rest of my life?” You whisper.

She shakes her head. “No. One day, this anger will be gone. But… it’s up to you whether or not you can get there with each other. If you can forgive Harry and let go of the anger. Or not. Neither is wrong.”

You nod. Sometimes these sessions felt like she was strictly talking to you. Harry just listened. Spoke up when you asked him to, or when Dr. Walsh worked on exercises.

A part of you found that it helped. You were able to say things you may not have ever said to Harry. But sometimes it felt like he was unsure if he should try and that made you angrier.

Harry’s hopes are built up and shattered. It’s his own fault, he knows it is. Knows that this was an easily fixable marriage before he fucked up.

You’ve talked about the cheating a little in therapy. Dr. Walsh has mentioned it, you’ve let your anger out, Harry has apologized. It’s a cycle that seems never ending. He doesn’t know what to do. All he wants so desperately is to fucking fix it.

But...

The drive has been silent. You stare out the window at cars and buildings that pass. There are bags in the truck rustling around, a last minute stop for last minute items needed for the trip.

You had been silent in the store too. Quietly checking off your list as Harry pushed the cart behind you. Had his gift upset you this much? You still loving him made you this angry?

“I… I don’t know what to do.” Harry finally says, forcing his voice to cut through the silence. You startle and turn to look at him. “Tell me what to do.” He pleads.

He knows you can hear the desperation in his voice. Whether or not you were angry at him, you knew him, you knew his tells and his emotions.

“What do you want me to say, H?” Your voice is a whisper but still harsh. “I don’t know! I don’t know what you can do! Build a time machine. Don’t cheat on me.”

“It feels like we’re going in circles.” Harry tries to keep his calm. He wants to keep the anxiety and hurt out of his voice. “Like, you’re angry then you see this chance and there’s hope, then there’s anger again.”

You scoff. “I’m sorry my pain isn’t linear enough for you! I’m sorry that sometimes I see glimpses of you and I’m reminded of us ten years ago, so in love and oblivious to the outside world. Sorry that it all comes crashing down when I remember that you fucking cheated on me!”

Harry sighs and his grip on the steering wheel tightens. “I fucked up so bad. I know. I know. God, what can I do? Anything.”

“Why did you do it?” You ask instead of answering. There’s a coldness in your words and Harry’s aware you’re both trapped in the car for another twenty minutes. So are you, apparently. “And don’t give me the same bullshit about being selfish and not knowing why and it being a mistake.”

Harry feels desperation claw at his throat and tears burning in the corner of his eyes. It’s like he can’t breathe, trapped in a coffin of your anger and his guilt. He tries to keep his eyes focused on the road as he talks. “I… I felt wanted. I liked the attention.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath, but Harry keeps his face forward and eyes focused. “Tell me what happened.”

“Y/N…” Harry trails off. “I… I can’t.”

You groan and fall forward with your head in your hands. “I need to know, H. I don’t… I just need to know because all I can think about is these what if situations and scenarios in my head. And I’ll just keep running through them until I hate you.”

Harry bites down on his lip and spares a glance at you. “What if… What if I tell you and you hate me anyways?” The question is unfair. He knows it is. But he can’t fathom a world without you in it. A world where he sees you on drop off days and has to plan separate holidays.

“I don’t know.” You say quietly. But, it feels like answer enough. There’s no reason for you not to leave.

And Harry guesses a promise to try was never really a promise to stay.

notes: thank you for the patience! i understand this piece is short, this part has been a lil tricky and i wanted to get the first part to may out before summer courses begun. i’m hoping i’m able to continue writing through them, but i will warn readers i am enrolled in two of the three week classes that have a lot of work and move quickly. so patience will be appreciated. i hope everyone is safe & healthy and has a wonderful end of school/university/spring! and congratulations to all the grads these next two months. i’m planning on ending this series with a total of five parts (march, april, may, june, july) w/ two endings.

tags (im tagging a couple ppl who messaged me awhile ago (after the last part), if u dont wanna be tagged anymore let me know! sorry!@alwaysclassyeagle @yourgoldengirls

if u wanna be tagged just message me & let me know if u want it for just this series or for all my h writing! ❤️

#harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles #harry styles writing

184 notes · View notes

unwishablestars · 3 years

Text

amongst the waiting stars

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x f!reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3.8k

Tags: Mutual Pining, SFW, Drunk Confessions, i tried my best

TWs: Mentions of alcohol intake

Summary: When Levi’s visits get more and more frequent how long until he’d have to admit he didn’t come for the coffee

A/N: this is the first fic I actually finished/properly wrote and I actually dont hate it, hopefully y’all don’t too :)

Wiping off the spilled coffee, restocking the pastries and cakes, it was a calm day for you and your co-workers. You felt a cool autumn breeze enter the room as you hear the door open and were greeted with a rather short man with a bored expression.

"Hello! Welcome to xxx, how may I help you?"

Greeting back with a simple hello, he proceeds to scan the pastries inside the case before he walks up to the counter to order tea and brownies.

With that slight intimidating atmosphere you found around him you didn't expect him to have such a sweet and simple order, emphasis on sweet, he didn't seem the type to order something as sweet as a brownie. Though, that being said, he did order a tea that was rather bitter.

"Can I have your name?" Holding the cup with a pen in hand.

"Levi"

"Alright thank you, Levi. Would you like your brownie reheated?" Asking with a soft and friendly smile "Yes, please."

After asking him to sit down you start to prepare his tea and brownie, approaching him with a black tray in your hand and his food on top of it.

"Please enjoy, Levi!" Setting the tray down and flashing him a little smile before leaving him be.

And that was it, you thought this was as close as you strangers could get.

--------------------

A week to 4 days to 3, he started coming by regularly. Nothing special really, he wasn't the only regular, but you sure as hell didn't expect to be able to talk to him as if you've been friends for ages.

You've memorized the way he likes his tea, you know he has a sweet tooth that he wouldn't admit he has and you know that type of coffee he likes when he needs to get through a lecture.

Every 3 days became 2 then daily, he was back again. You didn't know why but it seemed to excite you to see a familiar face, his familiar face, what didn't make sense was why him? Why was he so special?

Was it the way he openly admired your focused and quick work attitude, the way he would pleasantly chat to you about his life outside this café or those sweet little banters you two have when he enters and leaves the store.

For a man that didn't smile much, he sure was a treasure to have around.

Often enough for you to notice though, he always seemed to sit alone. Asking about it, he's never really responded with anything other than a:

"I'm waiting for someone."

You've never seen this someone. A friend perhaps? A date? Whoever it may be, they seem pretty rude to never show up even once.

Leaning on your arms over the counter to ask him "Waiting again?" Levi started sitting closer and closer to the counter just to make your conversations easier.

A slight pause was present before his answer "Yeah." "Is it the same someone as last time?" Thinking for a moment, "No, it's a different friend."

"Not that is any of my business, but it seems pretty rude for your friends to just never show up like this. You could wait for an hour or so and still not be pissed, gotta say that's pretty admirable."

"It's not a big deal. I mean, I'm stuck here waiting with you aren't I? It's not so bad."

He's right, I guess it wouldn't be so bad if you waited with him too.

"How smooth, Prince Charming." Despite your snarky remark you can't deny, it was nice hear that you made his wait bearable for him.

To the untrained eye, someone could see him as a stoic and quiet man, maybe even intimidating. But with trust and patience, he was sweet and compassionate, it could make your heart melt.

Taking as sip from his tea, presumably ignoring your little banter, you could've sworn you saw the softest smile accompanied with a little blush.

I wouldn't mind waiting with you.

--------------------

Nearing the end of the year, a cool breeze can now be present everywhere. Malls, stores and homes turning on their heaters to help with the growing cold.

Leaving his building wearing a stylish grey coat, already on his way to his personal sanctuary, his thoughts were interrupted with a loud and high:

"LEEEEVIIII"

Turning around he was met with a very much energetic Hange Zoe, stopping in his tracks to see what they have to say. "On your way already? Excited to see your sweetheart?" They said, smirking with a deeper intent than to tease.

Levi's friends were more attentive than he had thought, it didn't take a while for them to realize that he'd been leaving the campus in a slight rush. It also didn't take them long to start guessing what else he could possibly have better to do other than sit in the library or go home immediately.

"She's not my sweetheart." He absolutely wishes though, liar. With Hange and his friends bombarding him with questions like "What's she like?" "Is she pretty?" "Are you going to make the 1st move?" It left butterflies in his stomach. The thought of a confession made his stomach twirl, even if it didn't show on his face.

He often thinks about when that perfect opportunity would arise or even if something like that exists, he'd love to win your heart over and have you in his arms. The thought of you spending your days together, official, made his heart swell, yours too. But how could he possibly ask you out? Who the hell was he to you?

"Right, of course she's not.." Hange responding quickly, stretching out the 'right' to emphasis her suspicion. "Then in that case, you should invite your 'friend' to our little gathering before we leave!" They said with a smug yet genuinely joyful expression on their face, nudging his arm to the suggestion.

"Why would I want to do that?" Levi said plainly. His friends had decided to eat out and drink together at a spot not too far from the campus.

This way they could somewhat spend their holidays together before they actually have to leave for the holidays to see their families. Including Levi, who had planned to spend it with his mother (and uncle).

"Aww c'mon, don't be like that! One of you have got to make a move sooner or later. Plus, wouldn't it be sweet for her to know that you'd been thinking about her?" They argue, thinking about it, he decides to comply.

Already walking off "Fine. Just don't follow me." "Aw but I wanna see her!" "Too bad." They follow him anyway "I'll just wait outside then! Then I'll leave once I know you've asked her!"

Clicking his tongue in agreement, they both head their way to the little café he was ever so familiar with.

-------------------

It was a busier day than usual. Though, it's to be expected due to the cold weather. It just makes people want to sit down and drink their coffee or hot cocoa, warming up their systems.

As you give the last customer in line their coffee, you hear the door open. Looking up to welcome them in, seeing who it was, a brighter smile was presented, almost as if it was an instinct.

Walking up to the counter Levi was understandably nervous, he even considered bailing on the idea now that he's here. But seeing your bright excited smile as he entered the door kept him in motion.

"Levi! Having a nice evening?" A tug at the corner of his lips made your heart pound, "Yeah." Cutting his answer short, his mind too busy to think on how he should pop the question.

"What is today?" "My usual coffee, take out, please." Nodding and grabbing a cup, you start making his usual. Looking back at Hange, they gesture him to stop stalling. You catch him looking out the door to see a tall individual with glasses.

"Is that the friend you've been waiting for all these days?" Your smile lightly calming down "O-oh no.. they're actually.." stopping himself in his tracks, air getting caught in his throat.

"I actually wanted to ask you something." "Oh? What is it?" Your attention shifting to him. "My friend.. And I wanted to ask you- if you'd like to join us for a gathering we're having. W-we'll be eating out together before we leave for the holidays." Not knowing where his eyes should look, he didn't look up until he finished his question.

Seeing your face, visibly shocked but not displeased, a bit flushed. Your eyes soften at that thought, he wanted you to come with? To spend time with you? You couldn't hold back your soft and sweet smile at his offer, what would be the point? Hiding your joy would be pointless.

Taking a look at your face, your initial reaction to the soft look you gave him. He was growing confident, maybe this wouldn't end up blowing up in his face and ruining his relationship with you.

Until your facial expression showed a bit of annoyance, a customer had fallen in line behind Levi with her kid. While the kid seemed rather patient, taking a look at the cakes in the display the mother look impatient and annoyed. "Uh- I'm sorry, Levi. Could you stand over there for a moment" gesturing to the end of the counter "I'll get your coffee ready in a minute."

With that, worry immediately washed over him. Did he say something wrong? Was he too straightforward? Did he mess up? He does as you ask and step aside, too occupied with his thoughts to realize that small flash of annoyance was in no way meant for him.

After dealing with the lady and her daughter, you walk over to Levi, his freshly made cup of coffee. "Sorry about that.. here, your coffee." Seeing his worried expression you give him a reassuring smile, your hand lingering on his as you hand him his coffee.

"Thank you so much for the invitation, Levi. That's very sweet of you." Your face showed a light flush. "It's a really busy day so- don't throw away the cardboard cup sleeve, I don't want to stop this here.." still a small bit stuck in his thoughts, he replies, "A-alright.. Thanks." Giving him another reassuring smile he heads his way to the door meeting up with the friend still outside.

"Looked like it went well!" Hange said joyfully as Levi left the café. "I don't know.. maybe it wasn't the best day to ask her, she seemed occupied." He doubtfully thought, "Huh? She seemed pleased! What are you talking about? Plus, she wrote something on your cup didn't she?" They noted in a curious tone, pointing at his cup.

Catching his attention, he takes a look at his cup and they were right, there was something written on the cup sleeve:

"I'd love to ♡ text me the details!"

was written in black marker followed by your number.

A visible yet faint blush was spread across Levi's face. He hadn't mess up, you don't hate him, you wanted to spend time with him. "Aha! See! Isn't this great?" Hange said enthusiastically, interrupting Levi's train of thought.

"..Yeah"

I'd love to♡

Yeah, this is great.

--------------------

Standing outside by the entrance of your building you stood there waiting for Levi. Having talked about it beforehand you both had decided he would just pick you up and walk with you to a small KBBQ place, just a few minutes away from the campus.

Levi wasn't the biggest fan of smelling smoke as he ate but compared to the rest of the 'cook-it-yourself' places around, this place had better ventilation, a cleaner surrounding and a decent price.

[6:03pm] Levi: Just stay by the entrance inside your building. I'm almost there.

Y/n: Alright! :)

[6:04pm] Levi: Be safe.

He's so sweet.

The weather was nice this evening. It was calm, and the wind wasn't unbearably cold, it was nice. Seeing a familiar figure across the street turning the corner, you face showed excitement as Levi lightly waved seeing you by the door.

Exiting your building you meet with Levi outside the doors, greeting him with a smile "Lead the way!" softly smiling back at you he starts to walk, making sure you're close to him. "It's not far, stay close.. okay?"

Matching his pace to stay close to him, you walk together in tranquility, engaging in peaceful conversations, asking about how they'll spend their break. It all felt natural, makes you wish that KBBQ place wasn't just 20 minutes away.

--------------------

Nearing the restaurant you see the silhouette of a tall, blonde man standing by the entrance. As both of you walk up to him, he greets you with a friendly smile and wave.

"Hello, you must be Y/n, right? I'm Erwin, It's nice to finally meet you." He greets to which to you reply "It's nice to meet you too!" he must be one of Levi's friends who would join us- stopping your thoughts you think back to what he said:

"..nice to finally meet you."

Finally? Has Levi been talking about you? You felt a light blush at the thought, thinking about me? It was nice to think that he'd be thinking about you, after all, you'd been thinking of him too.

"Follow me, we already have a table." Walking inside gesturing for both of you to join, Erwin leads you to a reserved table. Seated at the table were 4 people, one of which you've seen outside the café, the day Levi invited you to eat out with his friends.

As you approach the table you were quickly greeted with hello's and nice to meet you's. Sitting down next to next to the familiar face, they introduced themselves.

"It's nice to see you again! I'm Hange!" "Oh yeah, you were standing outside the café that day, why didn't you come in?" you asked out of curiosity, "Oh I promised Levi I'd wait for him outside while he asked you out!" They gladly explained, lowering their volume to just about a whisper to continue "Y'know.. I was the one who suggested to invite you, Levi can be quite a shy one." They smirked which followed a chuckle.

Looking over at Levi to see some sort of confirmation. All you saw cute pink blush that ran across his face, him looking forward to either avoid eye contact or pretend like he didn't hear, either way, it was adorable.

"Anyway, it's nice to meet you! I'm Nanaba, this is Miche and that's Moblit." Nanaba had introduced going down the line.

"It's nice to meet you all." you simply said, "though.. I can't help but notice, it doesn't seem like you guys extended the invitation to anyone else. Why extend it to me?" as much as you enjoyed sitting here with Levi and his friends you couldn't help but wonder why, couldn't help but want to know it straight, said to your face.

"Because we want to get to know you." Levi admittedly explains, though he feels he wants to get to know you more than anyone else here. His friends nodding in agreement, some smirking at both yours and Levi's oblivious interactions.

Clinking your glasses filled with alcohol the night went on filled with laughter and nonsense. You kept your alcohol intake low knowing you'd obviously still need to go home and you'd rather go home walking than slumping on some poor person's shoulder.

As minutes to hours pass by, sharing stories that brought out laughter which rang around the room. Soon enough it was nearing midnight and some of you were a bit tipsy, some more than others, though you kept yourself your little promise of not going home a blackout drunk.

You weren't drunk but you were tipsy enough to be not be embarrassed if you were to spill some truth about your feelings. After the bill was paid, stuff gathered, and as they walk their way to the door Hange proposes an idea to Levi.

"Y'knowww.. Y/n would really appreciate it if you walked her home.. can't let anything happen to her ya'know.." Clicking his tongue at the smell of alcohol in their breath "What? Did you think I was just gonna let her walk home alone? It's almost 11."

Miche budges in abruptly "Is that why you barely drank?" clearly to tease the man. Overhearing the conversation without really thinking you cling onto his arm "I'm not that tipsy.. but I'd love the company.." a light pink was present across your cheeks, you couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the blatant confession.

"Even if you were completely sober, I'd still walk you home." He'd love to.

--------------------

There were lots of stars out, nice view. The cool breeze, the bright moon, it was all so beautiful. "When are you gonna leave..?" Catching his attention, "Hm?" "to visit your mom?" you weren't exactly sure why you wanted to know, he did say he was coming back, maybe you just didn't want the night to end yet.

"Tomorrow. I'll be leaving in the morning, why?" he asked back, "Nothing.. just curious." Looking up you see the moon in that navy blue sky, it gave you an idea. Walking into your building you were still gripping his arm, not as tight as when you were out on the street but you didn't exactly plan on letting go just yet.

"Do you mind staying for a bit?" Embarrassed to ask but you did anyway. Taken aback "What? Why? Are you not feeling well?" he asks with a flustered and concerned tone. "No it's not.. you don't have to- I just.." you could feel the alcohol help you speak the truth "..wanna spend more time with you."

It felt like his brain stopped for a moment, did she just..?, but in reality it was racing with thoughts to the point where he didn't even notice. Scared of his silence you ditch the idea just as quick as you proposed it, practically interrupting yourself. "Sorry- sorry, I didn't mean to be- I didn't mean it like that-" apologies and explanations start to leave your mouth all at the same time.

"No, it's alright. I-I know what you meant.. I don't mind." holding back his stutters fairly well the blush spreading towards his ears were as evident as ever. "What? Really?" thank god he didn't take it the wrong way, "Tch," avoiding eye contact and walking toward the elevators "you want my company or not?" "Very much.."

On your way up to your room there was a sense of familiarity and comfort, even though the signs of success were there, you weren't exactly sure what you were so nervous about. Maybe you were sobering up quicker than you thought, it's not all bad though.. You didn't exactly want him to just deal with you drunk, you didn't want him to see you that way.

--------------------

Taking out your keys, opening the door and letting both of you in, you turn on the light and offer him a drink as you open your fridge "Sit down, do you want anything to drink?" "How the hell would I know what's in your fridge?" He says dryly

"Heh- that's fair, hot cocoa then?" Giving a simple nod at your offer you take out two mugs and start to warm up some milk. "Sorry it's just hot cocoa mix and milk." You apologize for no apparent reason other than to avoid the awkward silence.

"That's fine, how do you think I make my hot cocoa?" he asks sarcastically, "with fresh cocoa beans fresh from the tree" you retort jokingly, laughing a little. Surprisingly, he giggles along, making your heart flutter.

Looking at the clock as you pour the milk into the powder, 11:27pm, you interrupt the silence once again with an apology "Sorry.. I know you have you leave in the morning.." you remind yourself as you add a few marshmallows to your cups, walking up to him to give him his drink, "Why do you keep apologizing? I meant it when I said I wanted to be here." He reminds you as he takes the cup out of your hands, unable to hold back a smile the tension on your shoulders loosen, relaxing at his remark.

"If it doesn't bother you.." grabbing the blankets off the couch and opening the window "the nights beautiful.. and the view is better on the roof.." seeing the confusion on his face, you explain in a simple manner "don't worry, it'll be quick and the roof's actually pretty clean. Stargazing on the roof is actually pretty calming."

Trusting your rather odd offer you set your mugs on the counter next to the window to easily step out onto the fire escape. Once both of you had exited you grab both your mugs through the window and head up the steps leading to the roof

"Y'know I didn't expect having to climb out a window today." "Honestly I didn't expect to be stargazing with you, but it's not so bad is it?" "No, no it's not."

--------------------

Reaching the roof you set 1 of the blankets down to avoid sitting directly on the roof.

Sitting down you pat the spot next to you asking him to sit down, doing as you request, he settles beside you holding onto his hot cocoa for warmth "The second blanket is for us, no secret that it's gonna get chilly." You explained, casually wrapping it around both of you, what a bold move.

You smile at him, showing fulfillment and joy. The smiled you both see around each other always show honesty, such a simple gesture can convey so much. Now under the moonlight, snuggled together close, his heart couldn't handle how lovely it felt. You could've sworn you saw his eye water a little, that or the light of the moon glistened brighter than usual.

Looking up at the stars, admiring their light and formations, sipping on your warm drink, the air in your lungs start to lock up. Exhaling a breath you didn't know you were keeping in, the comfortable silence was broken with emotions put into words.

"Other than a ball of fire a huge distance away, do you think they can be anything else?"

"I don't know." he answered with simplicity and honesty.

"You ever wonder how long the stars have been here?"

"Not really, I don't look up at the sky that often. But I'm sure they've been here for a while."

Say it.

"I'd happily wait a billion years to see you."

Taken by surprise, he swings his head to take a look at you.

"..whether it be coming to the café, picking me up, coming home from a trip or seeing you in another life. I'll be here, waiting for you to come home. You wouldn't ever have to second guess it, because I'll be here, loving every second of it."

Looking up at him, to pour your heart out. "Because every second of it, I'll be loving you."

Letting out a shaky breath, holding you closer, softly yet firmly holding onto your hand, letting out the simple truth.

"That and so much more is the reason why I can say: I love you too."

#levi ackerman #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x reader #aot x reader #aot #aot fanfiction #anime #levi aot #levi x reader #levi x you #attack on titan #first fanfic #sfw post #aot modern au

22 notes · View notes

spectracully · 3 years

Text

crash the crush.

pairings : senior student!xiaojun x sophomore student!reader warnings : profanity, underage drinking, mentions of drugs genre : fluff, a bit of crack? highschool!au word count : 4.3k

summary : what are the odds of crashing into your crush during the neighborhood-friendly run and mutual friends party?

You were pissed off when your mum said you need to work your lazy ass off. Well, if it's on the summer break, you'll most likely agree with her. But it's only the weekend, and you've been studying your ass off these days. A lazy weekend is something you earned, but your mum decided to rain on your lazy parade.

With all those groans and deep sighs, you storm off your house wearing your workout gear. Not much, only a windbreaker jacket paired with shorts and running shoes. Popping your airpods on both of your ears to blast some jams, you take some light jogging steps on your neighborhood. It's only 4.30 pm, and kinda windy, why the fuck are you doing this? That's right, because mum literally compared you to your neighbor's daughter, Giselle, who recently won a karate tournament. Now mum won't even shut up how much she wants an active daughter, not the lazy one. Yikes.

Back to the streets by Saweetie & Jhene Aiko plays, and you hear a message notification on your airpods. Still on your light jogs, you glance at the notification.

yeri<3 : yo yeri<3 : wyd

You stop jogging for a while to write your bestfriend back. It's saturday, she's probably asking you to hangout along with the gang. Yeri gets easily bored at home and in constant need of hanging out.

y/n : running 💃 💃 💃 y/n : mum said i need to be giselle

You continue your pace while waiting for her reply. You can see your neighborhood clearly now, seeing the details, since you always go to school in a sleepy state, not really noticing the environment, and also going home from school mostly sleeping in your brother's car.

The notification rings again. It must be Yeri.

yeri<3 : bitch thats a dancing emoji yeri<3 : running in a weather like this? yeri<3 : damn straight u wanna be giselle

You chuckle as you’re about to type the messages once more, the weather is fine, what the hell is she talking about? But then Yeri is still typing.

yeri<3 : n e ways yeri<3 : party at lucas' 8pm yeri<3 : be there or be fucking square 💀 💀 💀

You sigh. There she goes. No other option than tag along with her, but it's not like you hate it anyway. Lucas' party is always awesome, you and your friends also will get a VIP pass because he's a good friend of yours too, despite the fact that you're not even in the same grade as him, he's one year above you and Yeri.

y/n : weather is nice dont jinx it y/n : fine but pick me up y/n : cuz doyoung won't let me drive his car

You send the messages to Yeri to prove her the weather is fine, and indicates that you agree to go to Lucas' house tonight, it's a great night to probably get wasted after all those tiring run mum decided to toss on you. It's gonna be fun, anyways. But the thing about hanging out with Lucas and his senior friends.. You might've developed a big fat crush with one of Lucas' closest friends, Xiaojun.

You barely had an interaction with him, though, because he's usually the quiet and calm one in Lucas' closest friends group. Lucas himself is already so fucking loud, not to mention Hendery, the good-looking clown and moodmaker. There's also Jungwoo, the one who looks very calm but actually won't shut up once you talk to him. Mark too, the giggly one with some lame jokes. Well, going to Lucas' party tonight means you can see Xiaojun, probably getting the chances that you'll have some interaction over some boozes or something is also quite high.

After feeling all warmed up, you decide to give yourself a run around the block. Yeri's right, it's a funny weather to run. It's windy, but the more you stay outside, the cloud is getting darker and darker. You also knew that you're not really alone, who's doing this athletic bullshit in this kind of weather, you noticed that a boy is also doing this silly run when you were typing messages to Yeri. Probably just another neighbor's child being scolded by his mum of how Giselle is so athletic that his mum also wants an active son? Welp, you didn't see his face anyway, you were glued to the phone when you saw the figure running from the side.

It's not even a minute after you started running, Yeri already replied again. Is she really that bored that she doesn't have anything to do?

yeri<3 : ok i'll pick u up at 7 yeri<3 : um.. its fucking raining, y/n yeri<3 : go home and take a shower yeri<3 : pick ur clothes and put on some makeup instead yeri<3 : its saturday night, activate your hoe protocol yeri<3 : mr xiaojun is going to be there tonight

You stop running and stare at her messages. Raining? Is she drunk or what? It's not even 5pm yet and here she is, hallucinating-

Oop. There it goes. You feel some water drops on your head. Your hand. It was slow at first, but then the raindrops are getting harder and harder, it's pouring.

"Motherfu-" you let out a curse, you should've trusted Yeri on this. As an intuitive homo sapiens with XX chromosomes, you scan through the streets, looking for some shelter to wait the rain to stop. Spotting a bus stop with a large steel canopy, you run like your life depended on it, avoiding the rain.

Finally arriving, you sigh and sit on the installed chair, typing messages to Yeri.

y/n : omg bitch ur right its raining y/n : should've pretended im dead in my room so mum wont bug me y/n : u know what after the rain ends im gonna sprint back home and take a fucking shower y/n : the universe doesnt like it when im trying to be giselle, it gave me rain instead

You sigh as you shuffle through your playlist, looking for some fun jams to pass your time through the rain, when somebody suddenly approaches you.

"Hi, do you mind if I take a seat here?" a boy asks, pointing to the chair next to you. You look up, and suddenly the next thing you wanna do is ascend your soul the fuck out of your body to the sky.

Oh boy. It's Xiaojun. The boy you won't shut up about. He’s wearing a white loose tank and grey sweatpants, drenched in his own sweat. Oh god. This is truly an attack for you. What the fuck is he doing here? And why must you meet him at your mess like being all salty because of those running fiasco and the rain? While wearing your not-so-fashionable workout gear and not-so-tidy ponytails? Oh god.

You can feel your heart is about to explode when you realize that he is actually the person who is also doing the stupid running at this very weather, you just didn't notice it sooner because you were on your damn phone. Damn, mum was right, everything happened because you were always on your damn phone.

"No, of course! Take a seat!" you answer him, trying your best to crack your sweetest smile although it's more like sweatiest not sweetest.

He smiles back at you, taking a seat next to you, then his eyes get back to his phone, completely glued. Damn this is the only cardio that is worth it, no running, no jumping, no huff that huff this, only sitting next to Xiaojun on a rainy day on a bus stop. Wonderful.

You quickly whip up the messaging app to type all kinds of gibberish and send it to Yeri. She knows what shit is about to go down when you speak gibberish to her.

y/n : FUCKJSHSJJSKSJK YERI y/n : OH MY FUCKING GOD SJSGSJSHSKJSK

Lucky you, Yeri has nothing to do than respond to your messages, she stays put on the chat room.

yeri<3 : OMG BITCH WHAT yeri<3 : SKSHSJJSKS YOU SCARED ME

y/n : HE's FUCKING HERE AHSJSHSJEK

yeri<3 : OMG WHOS HE?? yeri<3 : THE DEVIL??? IS HE GONNA TAKE UR SOUL? SKEJSJKSKSK

y/n : XIAOJUN y/n : TURNS OUT HE ALSO LIVES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD

yeri<3 : ASKJSJSKSK WHAT yeri<3 : HOW

y/n : KAHSKSJKS omg bitch y/n : i was sheltering myself from the goddamn rain y/n : im in bus stop rn y/n : this angel came to accompany me y/n : HE WAS RUNNING TOO OMG y/n : omg yeri just so u know if im not there when u pick me up y/n : its bc im in church getting married with my man xiaojun

yeri<3 : BITCH OMG SKSKSKSKK yeri<3 : GET MARRIED RN yeri<3 : WAIT dont waste the chance yeri<3 : talk to him rn!!!

You swear you're about to scream when Yeri sends that. She was actually right, this is your chance to talk to him, considering that you didn't really interact that much with him. But really? He didn't even say a word when he sat, probably didn't even remember your name? The disappointment slowly gets into your head.

You freeze on the spot. torn between wanting to talk to him and just let it slide, you'll see him again tonight as Lucas' house, right?

Just when you decide to give up and not say a word, he turns his head to you.

"Hey, I didn't know you live in this neighborhood too," he starts.

Oh god. If every time your heart beats fast you get a dollar, you'd probably have your own private island by now.

You try to play it cool when actually on the inside you wanna scream I LIKE YOU to his face rn. "Oh? Oh yes, my house is number 13." you answer calmly,

He cracks a smile, “13? You’re Doyoung’s little sister?”

Oh god. What the fuck is this clownery? He knows Doyoung? Why and how? At this rate you just wanna evaporate to the rain, what if Doyoung actually knows that you liked Xiaojun and he spills it? Oh god.

You smile back at him, holding the panic you’ve been keeping since he mentioned Doyoung’s name. “Yep. I’m his sister.”

“Oh god, why didn’t I notice that earlier? I could’ve taken care of you at school!” he exclaims, and you sure you just wanna evaporate to the rain. Him? Taking care of you at school? YES PLEASE!

You let out a small giggle, trying to be as calm as possible when in reality you’re very sure you just wanna melt like a goddamn popsicle on a hot summer day. “So, how do you know my brother, actually?”

He laughs a bit, wiping away the sweat on his forehead. Oh god, he’s just so beautiful. “Well.. Doyoung and I used to be a dynamic duo in the school's choir, until he graduated.”

Oh, that. Doyoung is pretty serious about his career in the school’s choir, but you did not expect that Xiaojun is actually a part of it. Of course, he has the face of an angel, the voice is included.

“Now I know why Doyoung never let me come to his house. Turns out he has a cute- I mean, h-he has a sister, and that’s you! M-Maybe he’s afraid I’ll bother you or s-something.” he continues, stuttering a bit, and letting out an awkward laugh. You laugh again, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks that you can’t hide no more. DID HE JUST SAY DOYOUNG HAS A CUTE SISTER? DID HE JUST SAY YOU’RE CUTE? DID HE-

But then, good things always come to an end. The goddamn rain stops. Oh fuck, no more chitter chatter with the dear crush. Just when it is the fucking time you need to hear the goddamn wedding bells, the rain decided to stop on your rain parade. Fuck.

He looks up, and seems like noticing the rain has stopped. “Well, Y/n. Lucas is having a party tonight, are you coming?”

You can feel your cheeks are still heating from his words, you shyly nod to him. Welp, maybe the rain has stopped, but this stupid crush? No. It goes on. Very much.

He stands up, straightening his white loose tank, getting ready to probably sprint back home. “Okay. See you tonight then, I’m going home. Have a good run!” he says as he walks away from the bus stop, leaving you dumbfounded. And lovestruck. That’s a win, alright.

Xiaojun slowly fades away from your view, and you’re still drowning on your pool of love. Yep, that’s it. You can’t even hold it, you quickly dial Yeri’s number to break out the news.

“What is it, Y/n? You literally left me on read for like 14 minutes straight and now you-”

“YERI LISTEN I’M GETTING MARRIED TONIGHT AND THAT’S A FUCKING FACT!” you shout to the phone, you can picture Yeri is probably goggling out her eyes right now.

“Girl, just because Xiaojun just asked you why the fuck were you running at times like this it doesn’t mean-”

“HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you blurted out,cutting her sentences for the second time,

“-you’re getting married- WHAT?? HE CALLED YOU WHAT?” Yeri yelled from the phone, now it’s pretty clear that Yeri is probably jumping her ass off right now.

You sprint your way to home, while holding your phone to your ears, continuing to give Yeri the details about the bus stop conversation you had earlier. Now she’s just yelling at you to pick the right dress and pamper yourself up, the probability you’ll marry Xiaojun at Lucas’ party is increasing. Sure it does.

-------

It’s 11.28 PM, 3 hours and a half since you and Yeri just arrived at Lucas’ house, escaping from Doyoung’s warning to you, to get back in one piece, and most importantly, sober. As if you’re gonna leave Lucas’ house sober, that’s funny, alright. You and Yeri were greeted by Yangyang and Donghyuck, who are currently setting up the table for snacks and drinks. That was probably the first time you saw Donghyuck ever setting up something, because if not, Jungwoo would’ve set his ass on fire.

The party madness has started, seems like everybody already has enough alcohol running on their system. Lucas is already losing his shirt and starts twerking in the middle of his house along with Jaemin and Jungwoo. Ah yes, the thot trio already started their thing, and all you have to do is just stay back and avoid getting dragged to the dance mess, because the chance of Jungwoo and Jaemin will start grinding at you is kinda high right now.. Considering their.. Twerking fiasco.

You sit back on the couch and watch your friends getting crazy over the playlist Yangyang made just for this event, sipping on your cocktails that Donghyuck put god-knows-what in it, he said it’s just cherry juice mixed with gin and brandy, but somehow it tastes kinda citrusy. You glance to the right, only to see Yeri making out with some random guy (probably one of Lucas’ friends named Changbin but oh well, that’s Yeri’s business).

Slightly grossed out and sad because apparently you’re not making out with Xiaojun right now, you make your way to the patio, and find the crowd that circle around a spinning bottle. Interested, you join Jeno, Mark, Renjun, Yeji, Hyunjin, Sungchan, Karina, Vernon, Hendery, and of course, the (hottest) most important person right now, Xiaojun.

“Welcome! As a newly joined member.. Truth or dare?” Jeno greets you as you take a seat between Mark and Sungchan. Well, you’d love to sit beside Xiaojun, but apparently, that seat is already taken by Hendery and Vernon.

You silently glance at Xiaojun, who is wearing a denim jacket with light-yellow knit top underneath, paired with white trousers. Damn, he looks so damn good that you wanna cry a river.

Your head comes back to the question Jeno asked. Today’s your day, be bold or bald. It’s time. “Well, I’m not gonna put my drunk antics to waste. Dare then.” you answer boldly, earning a few ‘ooooh’s from your friends.

Jeno snickers. Well, fuck. Guess you’re a bit too damn bold tonight, the realization suddenly hits you like a fucking trainwreck, Jeno is kinda extreme for games like this. Wrong choice, y/n. You gulp as you wait for Jeno to come up with something.

“I dare you to kiss Xiaojun!” Jeno exclaims, clapping both of his hands like a goddamn happy seal. Mark and Hendery are high-fiving right now, throwing whistles around Xiaojun, who is silent as a fucking rock.

Oh god. Things you’ve said about not putting your drunk antics to waste should’ve stayed in that goddamn draft. This is where Jeno takes you, even though you’re secretly happy that you finally get to kiss your goddamn crush, that shit is EMBARRASSING. If you wanna evaporate to the waters, then it’s probably the right time to do it.

But why Xiaojun though? Is your big fat crush on him too obvious?

You freeze on the spot as you awkwardly smile and stare at Jeno. This shit can’t be real. Jeno is goddamn crazy. You can feel the air is getting hot, whether it’s because the alcohol starts kicking in, or just because the blood is rushing through your head.

“Scared, aren’t you?” Jeno taunts you, sipping his beer as the rest of the group laugh except you and Xiaojun, who is currently staring at you with a questionable expression. Is he pleased? Or is he pissed? Oh god.

“I-I’m not!” you answer him, leaning to Xiaojun, gulping once more before asking him, “You’re okay with this though?”

Xiaojun smirks, “How can I say no to you?” he asks back, accompanied by a few ‘ayyy~’ from the boys, sending butterflies to your stomach. Your face is probably as red as a tomato by now.

Good god. Is this the same Xiaojun who is quiet, calm, and collected among his friends? Why suddenly he is so bold? Oh, he’s probably just drunk and won’t remember this kiss anyway.. You lean closer to him, closing the gap between his face and yours by sealing the kiss. His lips are soft yet firm, almost like a grape jelly you had earlier this afternoon, with a hint of vodka, of course.

After a few seconds, you finally pull out and linger your eyes on him. It’s beautiful, and mesmerizing. You just wish that you can see it again, and only for you, no one else. As you get back to your seat, you take one more last glance at him, that is currently also glancing at you, with his cheeks red.

Okay. You definitely heard the wedding bells, thanks Jeno. That’s probably one of your dreams, and thanks to Jeno, it came true. But unfortunately, Xiaojun probably won’t feel the same, or worse, he’ll probably forget about it tomorrow.

Everyone claps, exchanging happy exclaims and cheers as if you just said ‘I do’ to Xiaojun lol, when in reality, you were just doing the dare Jeno gave you. You gulp bitterly as the game goes on and on.

-----

It’s an hour past midnight, 1.12 AM to be exact. Thank god you’re not that shitfaced, but Yeri is. She is not even capable of doing anything anymore except being all smiley and shit, Changbin already drove her home like fifteen minutes ago, leaving you behind in Lucas’ lair. You suddenly felt the urge to thank god that Yeri made a fantastic decision last minute before picking you up, she used a taxi instead of driving. If she hadn’t, you’re probably stuck driving her home right now.

You scan through the house while leaning through the stair railings, looking for an easy target to get a free ride. Finally spotted your friends, you now have 3 choices : Donghyuck (who is currently seducing some random girl), Yangyang (who is now playing mobile games with Jaemin and Chenle), or Mark (who recently just hit a goddamn blunt, but he’s very capable to drive).

You sip your glass of water, making up your mind for your ride home. But then, suddenly someone taps on your shoulder.

“Do you wanna go home? Like, right now? I can drive you- I mean, our house is like, near.” you hear Xiaojun speaking to you, holding his car keys on his left hand.

Good gracious, is this even real? Like, Xiaojun, is actually asking you to go home with him? Is this real? Or are you just hallucinating from the goddamn weed you take 10 minutes ago from Lucas?

You stare at him blankly. He bit his lip, “I mean- If you wanna stay longer- or probably-”

“Yes, of course! Let’s go.” you smile at him, cutting off his words.

3 times in a day. Good job, Y/n! The wedding is up ahead!

He smiles and gives you a gesture, “Ladies first.”

The drive is not as awkward as you thought. Turns out, Xiaojun is full of surprise though, you nearly choked when he said he once formally apologized to Doyoung before he stood up to defend the dignity of Mint Chocolate Chip flavored ice cream. It’s delightful to find out that he has similar tastes as you, from ice cream flavor to music and school subjects.

Xiaojun also told you the reason why he was on the run earlier, he was bored. Damn, look at it, the difference between a forced daughter whose mum wants an active child, and a bored model-student. He said he didn’t expect to see you because he was embarrassed, he was drenched in sweat.

You can feel the butterflies on your stomach grow wilder and wilder from every word he said, or maybe it’s just the way he smiles when he talks to you? Welp, if it’s anything to do with Xiaojun, you’ll most likely get butterflies.

Just when you thought he was drunk, he is not. He’s capable of driving you home and carrying on some fun convos, also remembering little things. So.. perhaps, he is not going to forget the kiss you shared because of Jeno’s dare?

As you keep on exchanging conversation with him, suddenly it’s time to get off his car and get back to your house, get ready to deal with Doyoung’s nags and scolds for getting home this late.

You giggle as you take the seat belt off, smiling at the brown haired boy.

“Thank you for driving me home, Xiaojun. It was fun.” you say to him, waving him goodbye as you open the door. He smiles and waves back at you.

Just when you’re about to open the gate of your house, you hear the sound of slamming car doors. You turn around and see Xiaojun standing in front of you, eyes sparkling like a goddamn star. Unfortunately, it’s not Christmas.. If it is, all you want for Christmas is to stare at Xiaojun’s beautiful eyes all day, and probably get married to him.

“Um.. Y/n.. I don’t know how to say this but.. The kiss you gave me earlier, it’s kinda..” he starts, smiling sheepishly.

Oh god, what now? It’s kinda what? Gross? You swear you’ll kill Jeno if you hear that from Xiaojun.

You gaze at him as you wait for him to complete his sentences.

“It’s kinda.. Making me feel.. Things.” he finally continues, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you, flustered. It’s pretty cute.

You giggle at him a little, the butterflies come back, or maybe they never even left?

“Don’t laugh, Y/n. I’m being honest, I was pretty embarrassed to run into you during sheltering, and now you’re laughing at me for-”

You let out a big laugh before you pull him to another kiss. This one is a bit longer, more passionate and intimate, unlike the one you had before. He cups your cheek as you feel him smiling during the kiss.

“I’m sorry if I invaded your privacy- but your fast typing was very.. Intriguing.. I might’ve seen you texting Yeri at the bus stop.” he giggles after you pull out from the kiss.

Yikes. You feel like you’re about to burst now. He saw you texting Yeri? What kind of clownery is this? Did he see you typing- oh god, that’s too embarrassing to remember.

“No! That’s too embarrassing!” you cover your face, he laughs once more.

“Now, which church are we going to? I’m pretty sure you said we’re getting married tonight, right?” he takes your hands off your face, grinning widely.

You pout and lightly hit him, only to be attacked by his hugs a second later. Aww, finally, dreams do come true. You stay on his embrace for a few more minutes, no talking, just comfortable silence and realization that you’re on Xiaojun’s arms right now.

You glance at your watch, Doyoung would be furious by now. Telling him that you really have to go before Doyoung can rise from his sleep and beat your ass, you finally wave goodbye to him as he gets back to his car.

Finally entering the house, you’re greeted by Doyoung who’s standing in front of you, holding a bowl of salad on his right hand.

“So, kissing Xiaojun in front of my salad?” he raises his eyebrow.

You stick out your tongue as you make your way upstairs. Technically, not in front of Doyoung’s salad, because the door was closed. He’s probably looking through the window, such a nosy brother. You laugh at the thought of Doyoung getting furious while eating his salad as you get a message.

Xiaojun : so, see you at school? Xiaojun : can’t wait to hold your hand on monday ;)

87 notes · View notes

moved-19871997 · 2 years

Note

Well, you said you'd love to hear my thoughts in the tags and I like talking about this, hello, I was the one talking about Dan Sloss, and I'll do my best to make it coherent and shorter than the initial plan, it isnt much but ill still try

Also, the name was Jigsaw aparently, not Puzzle, cool

So, for starters, I wanna point out that Daniel's specials usually use the principle of the Chekhov's gun narrative and a method explained in Hannah Gadsby's comedy special (not sure if its in Nanette or Douglas) about tension used for comedy. I'm not any of those people and I will not elaborate, I'm sorry, you should look it up tho, really interesting

"Oh my god, did she just reference another stand-up?", yes, I get upset very easily, comedy makes it better

Something else worth mentioning is that he is the type of person that got to talk long enough to sound like a genius, he's stupid yall, dont get fooled, anyway...

Spoiling the show, Daniel learned from his dad, as a child, that family, hobbies, friends and everything is part of a jigsaw, in which the picture is your life, the center would be the goal, and our goal is love, I can't explain it properly, its a full hour of content

He's a bad person, he's relatable, he's got extreme views, and he got dumped, so he doesn't believe in love, haha loser, there's a lot we should unpack but no time, moving on

Do we remember that whole thing? Do we remember thinking he wanted to kill his ex so he didnt have to deal the awkwardness of calling it quits just to deal with what felt like our heart broke with his? Good, lets go

What kid Daniel learned from his father was that love is supposed to be the final and most important part of a jigsaw, that your soulmate would just fit and that would make you happy, but we all learned that love is perfect and if it isn't perfect its our fault, so we developed a tendency to make bad relationships work no matter what, but they dont.

Well hello there Dream, you said soulmates are... people that match perfectly with you and your personality? Interesting.

What we see here is Dream matching the logic that Daniel is skeptical of. I could make parallels or talk about how Dream's pov could be the very thing to deteriorate his relationships with his friends, but I won't. Let me tell you how adorable it is that Dream was the one to call his platonic soulmates pieces of his puzzle

The goal of a puzzle is to solve it, if people are puzzles its not anyone's job to solve/fix someone else, you are the only one who should define who you are and whats a part of you, but some puzzles, some full defined pictures, could be placed next to another one and create a wider landscape, they don't depend on each other to be fulfilled, but it just looks nice and cool

Dream calling his friends pieces of his puzzle could be read as them being so important that even if they parted ways they'd still be a part of him, but also like independent and not at all connected puzzles/people that match so well and are so easy to love and care, that they choose to be together.

Dark Humor will be just my love letter for Twitter, and the general analysis of Daniel's specials is essay-worthy but not relevant rn, so I'll stop here

So... that's my thought, I have spent a little too long thinking about it. I personally don't really like overthinking irl relationships as idk anything about them, but this one makes me happy, so who cares?

I will not read it again, so I'm sorry for any typos and I understand if you also dont read it lmao

Hope you're drinking water :)

OK HI YEAH i do rmr watching it a while back and the puzzle metaphore puts so much into perspective and just in general its such a good special and ifl a lot of what he says come from experience that a lot of people dont have yet and this acceptance that he's not the best person ever n yeah

#this is . making me think of the whole special again #long post #asks #[redacted] tumblr user

4 notes · View notes

xxmandaveexx · 3 years

Note

You might not know since you said youre not an active Calabrese fan anymore but I was wondering if the rumors are true that Davey is dating a fan? He just posted a picture of her mouth yesterday to sell necklaces and he shares her story tags a lot and other people have said they think he and her are secretly together? I just dont know if you've heard any of the gossip because hes soooo hot and if he's seeing someone I don't wanna drool too hard haha. He always dodges the question when people ask if hes single so I'm like 🧐🤔

Well Anon, I will say... I know EXACTLY who you're talking about.

I have talked to her myself and we did have a bit of a friendship a while back but... We don't talk to each other anymore. I won't go into the reasons why because we'd be here all day but... Yeah. I know who you're talking about.

Currently, she likes to be HEAVILY involved with the band, namely Davey and... Yeah.

Now, personally, I think you're just listening to rumors and probably other people who talk to this girl online. If I recall, some of these newer fans who discovered the band because of her, like to "ship" her and Davey together. Which is weird. Hell, I'll even go as far as to say that this girl could be the one fueling the rumors to begin with, but who knows.

You see, when I was "friends" with her, we would fangirl ALOT over Davey. And well... There would be times that when we talked, that it was obvious, to me anyway, what her intentions were when it came to him.

Long story short, she messaged him on Instagram one day and... She hasn't left him alone since.

It also doesn't help either that it's really simple to send him a message on Facebook or Instagram and you can basically talk to him whenever you want. I understand he just wants to talk to us fans, but still. Some people can take advantage of that.

Personally, I wouldn't help fuel those rumors only because I'm sure Davey isn't saying anything, because he can probably see those kind of comments about him and her and it's making him REALLY uncomfortable. Especially if they're not actually dating.

Just to give you some peace of mind, he did mention a while back that he was "too busy to be in a relationship right now" anyway so, I hope he still thinks that way.

I would hope these rumors aren't true, because well... This girl is something else and I would feel bad for Davey if he did want to be with her, BUT what can you do if it is real, you know?

It's hard to say right now. All I can say now is this, the main reason I've distanced myself from the Calabrese fandom is namely due because of that girl in particular. I know it might seem silly to hear, but her and I did end up having a falling out, things were said and personally, I would like to leave that behind me.

I really don't want to be around the fandom anymore if she gets this involved with the band like she has. That's just how I feel. Other people who know her may not feel that way, but that's because they didn't have to go through the things I did with her.

If I were you, I would keep my eye on her. She may seem friendly when you first talk with her and what not, but that will change once her true colors start to show.

It's a shame it has to be that way, but I mentioned this in my last ask you sent me too. Fandoms have fans like that. And well... Like I mentioned, she just happens to be involved pretty heavily with the band and much more than she needs to be.

With all that being said, this is last thing I want to hear about this girl. I hope you understand, but I just don't want to hear about any updates like this anymore. If, for whatever reason, the rumors turn out to be true, I say good luck to Davey. I hope this girl changes her ways but I don't think that will happen.

I know you're probably thinking that this is just a case of jealousy that I'm displaying right now and you're right. While this girl and I were "friends," I saw things happen to her that I did not think were fair. Especially since she was a newer fan and I had already known about the band for years prior.

Not to mention like I said earlier that her intentions about Davey were pretty easy to spot when we talked about him.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long post but I just needed to get this out. I apologize if you wanted to keep me updated with stuff, but like I said, if it involves this girl, I really don't want to hear about it anymore. I hope you understand.

7 notes · View notes

sparrowofsong · 4 years

Text

The Water Damage After The Storm

What a Nightmare! - Prologue

Summary: Ethan (Deceit) has been rather reclusive after recent events, the details of which are a mystery to the other sides. Worried for his well-being, Patton attempts to talk to him and find out what’s going on. He does get a few hints, but they’re really really not great.

Characters: Deceit and Patton. All sides are sympathetic for the whole story.

Warnings: Vague-ish flashbacks with mentions of violence, blood, abuse, and general Bad Things of that nature. Refusal to eat (lmk if i should tag as eating disorder, not sure). Let me know if there’s anything else I should add!

Word Count: 1k-ish

Author’s Note: GUYS. I DID IT. I FINALLY STARTED THE AU I’VE BEEN GOING ON ABOUT FOR T W O M O N T H S

For those who haven’t been putting up with my sporadic concept art and constant excited rambling – What a Nightmare! is an AU where Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts never happened. Deceit and Remus came up with a different plan that,,,, worked! Let’s see how this goes!

Ethan kept his eyes down as he begrudgingly followed Patton into his room, taking a seat at his table. He stared at the small plate of cookies in the center, able to watch Patton sit across from him in his peripheral vision, but refusing to look directly at him.

Why couldn’t they just leave him be? He’d been just fine with spending the last week alone, savoring the silence he’d gone so long without. If he had it his way, he’d still be doing exactly that. It was better than having to face them.

“Would you like one, kiddo?” Patton sounded tentatively hopeful. “I made them just for you.“

He gritted his teeth and forced himself to glance up at him for a second, hoping he could manage to scan his face for any signs of underhanded trickery without-

please no fake evil not real not real beat stab push bruise blood break pain lies lies lies anger fear danger please dont hurt huRT HURT HURT

-regretting it.

Ethan squeezed his eyes shut, his heart racing as he tried to maintain his composure. He couldn’t stomach a cookie if he tried.

Eventually, he found it in him to respond.

“I’ll pass.“

There was a pause. Silence was more unnerving when he wasn’t alone.

“You… you haven’t eaten in months, kiddo. Not even after you woke up. You didn’t touch anything we sent to your room this whole week.“

Or rather, the spare room they’d created. Everyone had agreed to leave Ethan’s room be after they found him, and he didn’t exactly protest after coming to.

“I understand that you don’t want to talk to us, or see us, and that’s okay. I’m sure you have a good reason.” He took a deep breath to steady his voice. “But I can’t just let you starve to death in there. You’ve gotta regain energy somehow.“

“Is that so?” Ethan scoffed, back to staring at the table. “Pray tell, Patton, when did you suddenly start caring?“

Taken aback by how easily his resentful words slipped out, there was a moment’s pause before his eyes widened in alarm.

dont you fucking dare please youve done enough sorry sorry pain pain blood too much let me go please no no no sorry sorry ill be better ill be better please no please please nO HURT HURT HURT HURT

He immediately snapped his head towards Patton, watching with learned vigilance for annoyance, anger, malice, spite – any potential sign of dangerous intentions.

Decidedly ignoring the sting of regret, Patton sat perfectly still as Ethan observed him. He didn’t dare risk heightening his fear, though he had no clue where it came from. That was why they were there, after all. No one knew what had happened, and with each day Ethan refused to see them, refused to eat, refused to do anything but sit alone in the spare room, their concern grew. Together, they came up with a plan that would, hopefully, get him to open up. Even if only a bit. They just needed something to work with so they could figure out what to do.

So, they brought him to Patton’s room and let the two chat for a bit. Among other things, his room caused them to think and talk about the past, and they’d hoped it would help Ethan do just that. It almost seemed to be working, too; that was the most in-character he’d sounded since the court hearing! However, as Patton watched his fear steadily increase, he was starting to wonder if this was such a good idea.

After a few tense minutes, Ethan realized that, at least for now, no harm would come to him. It wouldn’t have taken this long before. He didn’t completely let his guard down, of course, but he let himself relax a bit, dropping his gaze and continuing to watch Patton from the corner of his eye.

Just to be safe, Patton waited a few more minutes before he broke the silence, answering the question ever so softly.

“I started caring when you helped me remember that I should.”

no no no no knife dead body blood accident cant move get help my fault my fault weak useless murderer monster punish pain sORRY SORRY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NO HURT HURT HURT HURT HU RT

“Oh, by all means, let’s discuss exactly what I did to you that day.” Ethan gritted his teeth, trembling hands clenched into fists as he desperately tried to control his rapid, shallow breaths. “It isn’t like I’ve been forced to dwell on it every single day for… how long did you say it was? Seven months?“

Patton winced. This was the most he’d told them about the ordeal, sure, but it was obviously a sore subject. It looked like their plan had a few flaws. "Sorry, kiddo. We don’t have to talk about it. If nothing else, though, I do wanna make sure you know it wasn’t your fault. And I’m not angry, or upset, or anything like that. I know it was an accident.”

Ethan opened his mouth to protest, but stopped dead in his tracks once he fully processed the statement. “…How? How can you possibly be that sure? How much do you even… What do you think you know about any of this?"

"If I’m being honest, not much. We know next to nothing about what happened after we’d forgotten. There’s a few scraps of information about before that, a few details we’d noticed, but…” Without thinking, he reached for the cookies in the center of the table, unintentionally extending his hand towards–

danger danger grab shove beat stab trapped pain lies lies lies break sharp broken broken gold blood hELP PLEASE STOP STOP PLEASE SORRY SORRY SORRY HURT HURT HURT HURT HU RT H U R T

“NO!”

Ethan cried out in alarm, recoiling with enough force to fall out of his chair. Patton jerked his hand back as he rebuked himself for his carelessness, stubbornly gripping his chair to refrain from helping Ethan up. It was now abundantly clear that it would do more harm than good.

His broken facade of composure now thoroughly shattered, Ethan kept his eyes locked on Patton as he picked himself up and backed away. Every step of his retreat was agonizingly slow; despite knowing he could actually escape this time, he still refused to risk further aggravating the perceived threat.

Patton, however, was not aggravated in the slightest. He was horrified.

"I don’t think we’ve got the whole picture at all."

213 notes · View notes

drkcnry67 · 4 years

Text

marry me?

Title: marry me?

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Fluff: engagement

Rating: G

Tags: none that I can think of, kissing, taking shots, proposals, getting down on one knee, saying yes to the rest of your forever.

Mentioning: @sweetness47

Created for @spnfluffbingo

Fluff list part 1 part 2 part 3

by this point you have had an amazing almost 2 years. fell head over heels with a man who makes you feel like your more than just a top notch ace reporter.

you confessed your feelings for said man at a wedding you were supposed to be covering not making a huge fool of yourself. your best friend well she had also found love, hers wasnt as vaste as yours but she got the other half of a very stunning package.

the article written by your best friend Beth became your new fave article. though you still wrote fabulous wedding articles, that story put beth on the article map. your editor loved it, loved the entire scope, the plot, everything.

she also enjoyed meeting the men who had enriched both yours and beth’s lives. Jensen and Jared the two men who had stolen your hearts, had decided that you both were important enough to keep.

what you didnt know is that on this day the anniversary of when you had first met Jensen would be the day that your life would change once more. this time a bit more drastically i suppose the story shall continue from hence forth.

we pick up in the penthouse you and Jensen are living in, both of you preparing for date night. well double date night anyway. it was the one thing both couples could agree to do, once a week both couples went on a double date. it was that easy.

Jensen knew you had just finished your shower, he didnt care he was having trouble finding what he wanted to wear.

Jensen: hey babe, where is my dark navy faded jeans?

YN: on top of the dresser in the pile of clothes you still need to put away.

jensen: oh umm right silly me.

YN: do you want me to wear my hair up or down?

Jensen: half and half, its gonna be a magical day. one that has been planned for a while now. one that we both will not soon forget.

now you were really curious, he said this had been planned for a while… what the hell could the surprise be.

YN: why do i not get to know where we are going?

Jensen: cause that would spoil the fun of the surprise. now ive laid out your outfit on the bed hurry up we have a schedule to keep.

YN: schedule. babe we have never had any kind of schedule other than when you are filming. so what are you planning? and why this outfit?

Jensen comes over to you and kisses you to get you to stop talking. thats when he pulled back looking at you with smiling faces.

Jensen: so curious babe, why cant you just enjoy the surprise for once.

YN: fine ill put it on and enjoy whatever you have planned. but im gonna say this you better have something extra special planned otherwise you will have me to deal with.

Jensen: never fear babe i will always have lots of surprises for you from this day forth. now what kind of mischief can we get into if you dont put on your outfit. or do you want me to put it on you?

YN: I can do it but it’s just I haven’t used this outfit since our anniversary last year.. Why do I need to wear it again, not that I’m complaining…

Jensen: just do it and when we get into the car i have to blindfold you and cover your ears so that way you dont spoil the rest of the surprise.

now you were curiouser, this made you pull Jensen onto the bed and pin him there…

YN: why do you insist on tormenting me like this?

Jensen could only smile as he flipped you onto the bottom as he held you there.

Jensen: cause its fun now hurry up and get ready we are gonna be late.

the following happened like this:

you finish getting ready

both you and jensen walk out of the apartment and down to a limo where jared and beth are waiting.

beth and you both are curious as you both are blindfolded and ears are covered before you both are allowed to exit the vehicle.

once Jared and Jensen knew it was safe for you both to see and hear again they were to remove the blindfolds and earplugs.

you both are revealed to be in the airport. you both plea to your men but they instead of saying anything give you both money to go and buy anything from the boutiques.

you both come back with another backpack and a whole bunch of things. random objects, but ones that would provide great entertainment later on. come fancy things in case of whatever your boyfriends had planned.

then Jared and Jensen ear plugged you both when the flight number was called. though they had spoken to the flight attendant when you both were gone, told them of their plan, told them that you both would have ear pluggs in when you both board.

both you and beth still oblivious, as the boys remove the ear plugs as the plane takes off. thats when it made you both question really badly. Where your boys were taking you.

the flight wasn’t long but one of the boys sat in the aisle then the respective girl would sit beside then so on and so forth. The one on the end would get informed when it was time to blindfold and ear plug you both again.

Sure enough you both were unsure of how much time had passed, but eventually one of the flight attendants came round and whispered something to the guy on the end. It was ear plug and blindfold time again.

You both didn’t question when the guys did their handy work of blindfold and earplug it wasnt like you were strangers to it. Jared and jensen led you both off the plane, through the busy airport and into the taxi landing bay.

They unplugged both your ears.

Jared: in a moment we will take off your blindfolds but first we want you both to listen to the sounds. What do you both hear.?

You and Beth listened very carefully to the sounds around you both.

YN: people talking

Beth: something about taxis so we are definitely on a taxi landing of some kind.

Yn: the smell in the air is familiar. Wait a minute. I think I know where we are I just hope I’m right.

Jensen: you both may step forward and remove your blindfolds. I guarantee you both that where we are is gonna be a fun spot for all of us.

You and Beth remove your blindfolds, your eyes land on the sight before you of a place where your story had began all those years ago.

Yn: you did this?

Jensen: happy anniversary sweetheart! Now we need to find a taxi or a ride or something.

You look around and you start walking toward the person at the small stand near by.

Yn: excuse me sir, I was wondering if you had any cars available to rent?

Rental dude: what kind of car were you looking for?

Yn: do you have anything sporty but easy to get in and out of?

Rental dude: what about a lack 2021 jeep wrangler Rubicon unlimited 4x4?

Yn: can you show it to me?

The guy flips round his monitor and shows you the car, you whistle and the others bring the bags to where you are.

Yn: babe can I use the card?

Jensen: what kind of vehicle are we getting.

Yn: you will see. Now sir, do I need to sign anything.

The rental guy laid out papers told you to sign/ initial at the spots marked with “x” that’s what you did. Then he handed you the papers in an envelope, the license plates and insurance for the vehicle and then sent you guys to the spot where the vehicle was.

You led your boyfriend, best friend and her boyfriend to the vehicle. Their eyes went wide as they loaded the bags into the jeep.

Jensen: babe this is style. But whose driving?

Yn: me silly cause I have a feeling I know where we are staying. The place where we spent our vacation together.

Jensen: correct, now everyone in the vehicle so we can get this show on the road. commence vacation immeidately.

everyone piled into the vehicle and you began to slowly pull out of the parkade. you hit the highway and sped up, within 45 min you were pulling into the resort. you told the guard that your reservation was under Ackles.

the guard handed you a packet with park passes, roomkeys, parking pass and your receipt. along with the list of nearby stores, and the hours for the resorts amenities. and then opened the gate for you to drive through.

upon arriving at the parking space you handed a room key to Beth discovering it was a side by side. this vacay just got a whole lot better.

You all seperated into accommodations to settle in.

Jensen: I have made reservations at gastons where we shared that big plate of nachos and grab us some champagne to celebrate the start of our vacation!

YN: i like that idea. i wanna get out of these shoes first. i want to put on something more suited for walking in the parks that wont kill my feet. these heels will kill my feet from walking through the park.

you sat down to take off your heels but Jensen was now kneeling by your feet undoing them for you. he placed gentle kisses on your legs as he removed the shoes from your feet.

he then slid on your slip on runners. he smiled as he got off the floor, helped you up and he spun you around like the love struck man he was. you had no idea what was about to happen but you were gonna enjoy yourself.

now in comfy shoes you and jensen head to meet up with jared and beth as you all head to the car and head off to main street magic kingdom. To where you and jensen first met. Course ya know it was also to enjoy the fireworks and eat the nachos and such as well.

you look around still amazed by everything you see around you. but you are the way Jensen kept looking at you was what made you feel normal. like the disaster at the wedding of Misha and vic didnt almost ruin your reputation.

your vacation was finally in the bag, your happiness was now in sight. your new life awaited but nothing would prepare you for events of the future. upon your arrival to Gastons tavern, Jensen had started talking to the waitress, she took something from him and smiled as she led you all to a booth.

Jensen could not help but smile, all he could do was smile. he was beyond excited for what he was about to do.

waitress: welcome to Gaston’s is this your first time here?

Jensen: for me and the lady across from me no, but the other 2 yes. can we get 4 rounds of your finest house shots right away, and 4 glasses of your finest champagne and bring the item. on a tray with the shots.

waitress: coming up sir. your shots will be out in a moment.

thankfully for jensen you were too engaged in conversation with Beth and Jared to hear what jensen had discussed with the waitress. Jensen placed his arm around your shoulders, his own breathing shifted, he was nervous about what was about to happen.

Jensen: ah good shots. we each get one i have a toast to make. but ill make the toast after we take the shots. now i dont know whats in these but they are sure to be good. on 3.

You all swig back your shots, Jensen kisses you after you both have downed yours. Then Jensen turns to you and smiles as he gets up from his seat and whistles to get the restaurants attention.

Jensen: I invite you all to bare witness to this momentous occasion. Me and my girlfriend are celebrating 2 years together this very day. I have to know YN did I mention that I'm in love with you.

That's when music starts playing. And jensen begins to sing.

Jensen: I met this girl who rocked my world like it's never been rocked and now I live just for you and I won't ever stop, I never thought that it could happen to a guy like me but now look at what you've done you have got me down on one knee.

You look down and see Jensen kneeling in front of you.

Jensen: it's us against the world, us against those who are jealous, those who dare to throw outrageous accusations our way or print stuff that isnt true. now and evermore i will have the most gorgeous woman on my arm. Will you do me the honor of marrying me.?

The entire restaurant now looking at you as Jensen unveiled the 24k rose gold emerald cut diamond ring surrounded by yours and Jensen's birthstones.

You begin nodding your head before your mouth would let you speak.

Yn: yes yes yes yes a thousand times yes!!!

You felt the cool metal ring slide around your finger as Jensen helped you off your seat and kissed you in front of the entire restaurant.

Lifting both your hands in the air he then yelled.

Jensen: shots for the entire restaurant on me. She said yes!!!

Then he turned to you and you leaned in his ear.

Yn: descendants 3 proposal nice touch.

Jensen: thanks to our best friends for helping set this up.

the hugs and congratulations poured in from everyone in the tavern. it wasnt till a few hours later as well as several shots and drinks later that you, jensen, beth and Jared all exited and went to watch the fireworks.

the moment of yours and jensen’s first kiss under the fireworks was just recreated. you and jensen waited till the first firework cracked lighting up the sky before creating once more your first kiss.

~to be continued~

#spnfluffbingo

2 notes · View notes

legion1993 · 4 years

Text

Never Let Me Go

Never let me go

A/N : this is just a small little tiny story to get myself out of a writing block.. im branching for a moment or 2 away from the world of Supernatural and into a similar but very different universe! lets see how this goes!

Pairing: Kol Mickelson x Reader

Tags: fluff, flirty talk, some dirty talk, touring new orleans, Kol turning you into a vampire at your request, mean drunks trying to get you alone, Kol saving you, anything along those lines

Summmery: not mine to give…

Masterlist

This was to be the day, the start of your new life. You had moved to new orleans, more specifically into the french quarter to get away from your past.

You arrive at night, walking from the airport to the french quarter you find the streets alive with music, dancing, musicians and most importantly drunks.

You head to your apartment, putting in your stuff you decide to go check out the closest pub. walking through the quarter, you could only marvel at the sights that lay before you. this was you new home this was your fresh start.

Kol was sitting in the very pub you were just outside of… Kol was sitting in his favorite spot by the door, so he could see everyone who was entering, see if he could find the gem through all the drunks.

you walked in a few moments later and for Kol it felt as though time slowed down… he watched you head to the bar and order a drink. you ordered just a normal vodka and Sprite… you made it a double even, you were not sure how to start over in a new place.

Kol watches you making sure that no harm comes to you, but indeed there were alot of drunk idiots in the pub that night. you were one of the only gems he has seen walk through that bar that very night.

at that moment his hearing picked up a conversation between a few of the guys a few tables away , he began to tense up listening to them talk, it made his blood boil… then his thoughts and watchful gaze were interrupted by a hand being placed on his shoulder…

rebekah: “chill brother its just me…”

Kol: “what are you doing here beks?”

rebekah: “nick sent me to find you, he was worried that you might be causing trouble during this night…”

kol: “nope im just keeping my eyes peeled for the new and exciting…”

rebekah: “you mean like that girl, that you keep staring at?”

Kol nods turning back to stare at you some more, then he realizes that the guys that were talking about your physique before were now heading towards you.

Rebekah watched the look in her brothers eyes turn from just gazing in love to worried and ready to strike should the need arise… both of them now watching the following events unfold.

Meat head 1: “hey pretty thing wanna come with me and have some fun?“

You sip slowly at your drink before answering.

YN: “no thank you.“

Meat head 2: “your new here arent you? And from the smell of things your a virgin too…”

This made you go radio silent, you tensed up at the feeling of their hands traveling over your body. This sight made Kol get up off his chair and come barging through their stances.

Kol: “leave her alone you stupid muts…"

You look at Kol his eyes piercing your soul, kol keeps an eye on both those muts as he helps you off the chair and you both start walking towards rebekah… little did you both know that tonight was the first night of the rest of both your lives.

Kol and you run the opposite way of the pub going away from the muts and arriving at a gate surrounded by mass amounts of archetecture… you marvelled at the structure, kols hand tightened round your own..

Kol: “come on chica, i have some people who are very anxious to meet you…”

YN: “you kmow if you had approached me sooner i wouldnt have stopped you from touching my leg the way those guys were.”

Kol: “i definately would have done so and made sure no one saw anything…”

YN: “well what do you want to do right now? Any risks you want to take at this precise moment?”

Kol had to think cause yes there were risks he wanted to take but he wanted to try one specific thing at that moment but being a gentlemen he decided to just close the space between the 2 of you.

The feeling of his skin against your own, the twinkle to his eyes in the moonlight, the way he spoke made you feel week at the knees. But instead of your mind being careful with your thoughts, they started being the exact opposite.

Kol: “i think ive fallen for you…”

That was the last thing said for a while, cause as he said that last word he kissed you, he had cupped your cheeks and kissed you. In that moment nothing else mattered, in that moment all else seemed useless…

5 minutes later the kiss broke and both of you took in a gasp of breathing… before another word would be spoken a gust of wind past by the both of you.

YN: “dont let anything happen to me please..”

Kol: “i promise i wont… ill never let you come to harm…”

You both walked inside the gate, the first thing that catches your eye is the architecture… the next thing that catches your attention is the number of people in the room…

Rebekah: “see, i told you all that it was true…”

Elijah: “so it seems.. what do you make of this Niklaus?”

Niklaus: “i think our brother seems to have found himself someone new.. shall we meet her? Welcome back brother… rebekah told us what happened… you both are very lucky… come forward with her brother, so we may all have a chat…”

Kol and you join them at the table, not knowing what to expect but sitting there you held onto kols hand knowing that whatever the outcome he would not leave your side.

Kol: “i just realized we didnt be properly introduced… im Kol…”

YN: “YN its nice to meet you, all of you actually… im new in town i just moved in today… but kol can you please explain why you called those guys in the pub muts….”

Elijah: “muts are werewolves they are always thinking with their downstairs brain not their brain brain…”

You had stood and moved away from the table slightly at the mention of werewolves… your brain trying now to make sense of everything that has just been said…

YN: “werewolves are not supposed to exist… they are not supposed to exist period… i dont suppose there is a way to make more sense of all of this…”

Klaus: “i suppose you should also know that i am part werewolf and part vampire, my brother Elijah is a vampire, my sister rebekah is a vampire, our other sister Freya is a witch and kol is a vampire…”

at that moment you backed up and ran up the stairs and into the first open room you could… you were scared, well that was obvious… you sat on the bed and kicked off your shoes took off your jacket and started trying to breathe… you were not sure of what was happening, the man you now were in love with was a vampire…

something that should not exist and the fact that it did made you concerned, you had never given much thought to the possible existence of the supernatural though having kissed one now opened your eyes to what exists that should not…

a few moments of sitting there later you hear your name being called… you say nothing but instead flop backward on the bed… you let out a long exhale of breath, before turning your head towards the door to see Kol standing there…

Kol: “im sorry love, you shouldnt have found out that way… not about any of this… i had plans to tell you the truth after you had settled in to life in new orleans. i never meant for you to be ambushed like that… truth is your the first girl in a very very long time that has made me feel alive again…”

YN: “Kol tell me the truth, would you have even bothered with me if i had not been in trouble…”

kol had now come to lay kinda beside you on the bed as he propped himself up on his elbow and smiled.

Kol: “i would have come up to you as soon as you walked in that door… i wouldnt have let those muts say anything mean or dirty about you, we would have drank and drank till the late hours and partied more in the dirtiest ways possible. Cause from the moment i saw you, my entire world has spun slower like im normal again…”

YN: “then why would your brother out you all to me like that… does he have no considerstion for feelings?”

Kol: “nope, he is actually always an ass… but he loves me all the same… now i can think of a few things we can do to brighten up the mood but we need some scotch first..”

You sat up once he left the bed going to the table in the corner and thats when the words spilt out of your lips so fast that your filter left you entirely.

YN: “turn me Kol…”

You had no idea you had even been thinking that till you said it… kol came right back to lay beside you, he knew what you had said and he thought he knew why, but there was still reassurance needed before a decision this big could be fully made.

kol: “are you sure that is what you want?”

YN: “I came to New Orleans for a fresh start, now finding you, being with you in this moment this is my fresh start… This is where I now belong.”

Kol: “before I turn you there is something I want to do first, so we do this properly…”

You kinda look at him confusingly but he gets up and helps you up as well. Kol walks you to the stair case and then tells you to hold on for a moment, then he is back in front of you and down on one knee…

Kol: “family I invite you to bare witness to this momentous occasion… I’m not sure if any of you heard what me and YN were discussing but she came here for a fresh start, she wants me to turn her she wants a completely fresh start. But I want to do something properly first, she and I shared a moment before I brought her in to meet you guys… we could feel it in our hearts we are meant to be together but i want to do things right by me, her and our family name… so YN akthough we only just met, this is love at first sight and truly happy we shall be if you will do me the incredible honor of marrying me?”

You smile not looking directly at the ring but at the man holding it, he was your new start, he was your future, he was your soulmate! You hold out your hand and feel the cool metal sliding cross your finger, kol stands up to be face to face level with your eyes!

YN: “yes!”

Kol: “Elijah, dear brother, will you do the honor of officiating this momentous ceremony?”

Elijah was beside you in seconds, he took your hand in his and placed a kiss to the back of it…

Elijah: “I’m happy my brother has found a eternal love! It will be my highest honor to officiate your ceremony!”

Kol: “i guess we have a wedding to plan…”

YN: “elgance is a must, but we need to set a date…”

rebekah and Klaus are upstairs with you in a few moments…

Rebekah: “what about we have the wedding in a week… more than enough time to pull something together… omg i get a sister… this is so exciting… alright so i already have several ideas for your wedding and the dress obviously we are going together in the next few days…”

YN: “yes i have several ideas as well infact if we go tomorrow rebekah you can help me carry a few of my bags back here and i can show you my wedding notes…”

Rebekah: “yes of course and Elijah obviously will accompany us to and from the retrieval of your bags so we can both see your notes… of course Kol will also see the notes but that might be after he finishes the errands im gonna send him on…”

Elijah: “naturally of course i will be delighted to grace this magnificant city with my prescence.”

Kol skowls at his sister and then smiles at you…

Kol: “cant wait sis…”

you stood beside kol and smiled, his brother and his sister except for Klaus was warming up rather nicely… Klaus was skeptical as he always was about every change that affected his family.

Klaus: “brother may I have a few words with you…. Brother to brother. Rebekah can you take the soon to be newest member of our family and get her set up in kols quarters… He will be along after our little chat…”

Kol smiled as he leaned down to kiss you, he pulled back and released you into the care of his sister.

Kol: “lead the way Nik…”

Kol follows Klaus as you are left with Rebekah and Elijah standing on the stairs.

{~*A/N this is where it’s gonna get a little confusing… It’s gonna be splitting off into 2 separate convos… One between Rebekah and YN. And one between Kol and Klaus… Don’t worry this story will end with a happily eternal after. Back to the story. *~}

———————-

Kol and Klaus go into the lower chambers, so neither side can hear the conversations. Klaus shuts the gate behind him after Kol enters the room and he speeds pinning his brother to the wall…

Klaus: “what the hell is wrong with you? brother falling in love with a human thats risky and completely irrational, what do you think is gonna happen… what happened to staying loyal to the family… though our brother and sister seem to have no regards for what ever is happening between you and this girl… now your marrying her in a week… you need to get your head on straight…”

before klaus could finish Kol throws his brother to the ceiling and lets him fall before shouting at his brother…

Kol: “i love her… Nik i love her… i know your not entirely thrilled with whats happening… but this is how it will be, this is my choice, its my life not yours… just because you have fucked up your life, doesnt mean you get to control ours… you have driven almost every single guy out of our dear sisters life, Elijah doesnt even try cause he is too busy cleaning up after you and your antics… if someone in this family deserves to be happy, it should be me… whether you accept it or not this will happen and YN will be a vampire in a week and if you desire there will be a spot on the guest list just for you… my head is on straight Nik its you that needs to straighten out your head…”

klaus: “you are gonna have to also straighten out your head if you hope to go through with starting a life with this half wit bitch who needs a lesson in manner. or needs to learn whose in charge around here…”

Kol: “no she doesnt, cause we wont be answering to you. we will do what we want when we please and if you want to continue to remain in our lives more specifically in mine, you are gonna have to smarten up and stop trying to control everything and everyone around you… please Nik if you ever were serious about us being brothers then please stop being a class 1 jackass, get your head out of the 16th century and start living in the now… now if you dont mind im gonna go get a bottle of wine from my collection for me and my fiance to drink while we plan our fantastic wedding.”

Kol walks away leaving Klaus alone with his thoughts… he went to find a nice merlot that would suit the rest of the evening alone that you both would share… he had hoped that when he went upstairs to find you that you and Bekah would be done your conversation…

———————

meanwhile, while Nik and Kol were having their little argument you and Rebekah were having a civilized woman to woman conversation…. going over what was in your brains for ideas for the wedding then this conversation took a sharp turn…

rebekah: “so how did you come to move to new orleans…”

You sat up and leaned your head against the pillow against the headrest as you began to answer.

YN: “i had to get out of my previous city… the person i was living with was abusive and just an over all class 1 jackass… he was not the best person to be roommates with at all… but one night i was sleeping and i woke with a fright as he was towering over me jerking off and he tried to rape me but i hit him over the head with a lamp and i went outside the room called the cops and waited for them to show up.., when they did they arrested him and let me grab a few of my essentials and brought me into protective custody… his hearing went against him he is now in jail and probably will never be let out… but anyway when i got put into protective custody the cops were very clear that i had to go as far away as possible they gave me cash to get far far far away from there and never look back so i went to the airport by police escort, booked a flight to the first place i thought of and ended up here with only my essential belongings… and a few new items.”

Rebekah gave you a hug and smiled… you both then hear humming echoing through the walls…

Rebekah: “i suppose your wondering how the process of turning you into a vampire will go…”

YN: “kinda ya… i just want to know how it will go so i kinda know what to expect…”

Rebekah: “thats understandable… so the process may sound a bit disgusting but thats just the way things have been done for ages… so once you both are pronounced husband and wife, there will be a few photographs simple but elegent one with each of me nik and elijah several shots of you and Kol and then a family portrait… then during the reception you and Kol will get up to make the speech last, during the last part of the speech Kol will speak… he will then go through this process… in your wine he will have put several or more drops of his blood in there course thats to drown out half the taste… once he toasts you drink the entire glass then you both will breathe it in the excitement and new beginning still new and fresh in your minds. he will kiss you and upon breaking the kiss he will tell you he loves you then snap your neck there by killing you… within 8 hours after you will wake beside Kol who will present you with a blood bag which you will drink entirely maybe wanting another maybe not… but thats basically it from there its learning control and how to use all the tricks.”

You laid back on the bed and kinda smiled at rebekah, as you both seemingly continued to bond getting along but before you could respond kol was standing in the doorway.

Rebekah: “dear brother how long have you been standing there?”

Kol: “not long, just long enough to watch you too bonding…”

rebekah: “do you need anything else YN?”

You look at Kol whose just eyeing you up and down..

YN: “nah im good ill see you tomorrow bright and early ish for some head start wedding planning…”

Rebekah gives you a hug as she gets up and heads out the door closing it behind her. Kol takes off his jacket, kicks off his shoes and pours 2 glasses of wine, he hands one to you and both of you take several sips.

Kol: “i never thought ever that id be married in this lifetime or the next… or well any lifetime… im just happy to be starting the next chapter of my forever with an amazing lady such as you.”

YN: “this move was not in my future at all at the beginning of the year, but now i feel like i can safely fade out of my old life and into my new one with you.”

Kol takes your wine glass from you and places both yours and his on the nightstand, he then runs his hands over your forearm, tracing every inch of it as he lwans in closer to you..

Kol: “tomorrow when we are with my sister and dear brother wedding shopping we will also introduce you your new home. Now let us fall into a kiss of lasting slumber till morning light breaks the sky.”

The making out began while you changed into the shirt that kol gave you to wear for the night, and ended when you both fell asleep in eachothers embrace waking not only to morning light but also to the knocking that was happening on the door.

With groans from both of you and adjustments to the bedding, you both greeting the one who walked into the room. It was klaus.

Klaus: “ah fantastic your awake…”

Kol: “we are now brother thank you… now i hope you have a very good reason for this cause we would like to get back to sleep…”

Klaus: “just came to let you know that the french quarter is home to mardi gras and you know how things get and well also to say that i support this union if it means your happiness brother.”

Kol and you kinda sit up against the headboard as you both stare at klaus..

Kol: “are you being serious nik…”

Klaus: “im being deadly serious. Besides brother i have my own news, i have found a venue for your wedding, a place thats special to our family a place where you both need to go before the reception is begun… brother its timd to show YN the place that only a few years ago you awoke from a coffin…"

Kol: “eventually but right now we are quite content with being married here in new orleans.. especially during mardi gars. Now nik is that all?”

Klaus: “yes ill let you both be and ill see you later.”

you and Kol take a few longing stares at eachother before curling back into eachothers arms again and falling back into a peaceful sleep. another several hours to pass before the streets of new orleans become lively enough that the noise catches both your ears.

this prompts the both of you to get up from the bed and go to stand on the balcony. absolutely certain that it was the start of mardi gras. sure enough down below the streets full of people dressed in bright vicious looking colors and vibrant songs play.

you and Kol start your day… this kept you busy well the wedding planning did… you learned a bit of the history behind the city and your fiance’s family involvement. you meet a few interesting people along the way.

you then come to the night before the wedding. you and Kol had just finished going through the lists and making sure you had everything prepared and that the compound was ready for the events that would progress the next day.

Kol: “attention family and honored friends. thank you all so much for helping us pull this together this past week has been insane and we appreciate everything you all have done. tomorrow we welcome a new Vampire into our little family. tomorrow i will turn my bride giving her a freash new start to life and the release from her past that she craves. i thank you all once more for the help in decorating, planning, and putting this entire event together. we are gonna be very happy together for all eternity. which is why i have a gift for my beautiful bride curtisy of Vincint. i had him make this at the beginning of the week… please say you will wear it always and forever.”

you are handed a small but rectangular box, you open it to reveal a daylight necklace. you smile as you nod your head.

YN: “always and forever. Lapis lazuli very nice…”

Vincint: “that is your daylight necklace, it will allow you to continue to walk in the sunlight after you becime a vampire. This way Kol and the rsst of us xan continue to help you on your journey for all eternity wuthout that pesky problem of daylight. Congratulations to both of you… to the happy couple!”

The congratulations and champange flowed, eventually you were taken away by rebekah and kol the same thing by klaus… you and rebekah prepared a couple things to make the getting ready process easier.

Then you both lay your heads down to rest for the night knowing that the next day would bring happiness and family all in one shot. You closed your eyes excited for the events of the next day!

The lights were strung high ready to sparkle and shimmer.

The flowers were fake from the store cause you were very bad at gardening.

The table cloths were already owned, and made in the 16th dentury… shit thats old.

The dinner ware same thing old as shit but gold and shiny.

Kols tux was well only a half tux so he has his navy vest, red dress shirt, and navy pants. And man was he ever gonna be handsome!

Rebekahs dress was a wine red short dress with sparkles and beading on the bodice.

Your dress was a sexy backless wine red short dress which you were certain would knock kols socks off.

Klaus and elijah both wore navy tuxs and the ceremony would begin at 3pm.

your hair would be done last. the first priority was for you to put on a bikini and let rebekah help you get your hair washed and relax like any good mannered maid of honor should.

Rebekah: “look i get it your nervous. but dont worry, being part of this family means we dont let any member walk alone at all. you will be an excellent vampire. now lean back and relax, we will have you looking sexy and hot for my dear brother in no time. now dont worry about a thing, you will be fine, everything will go as planned. now get into that bikini and get into the bath, ill come in when your ready and ill give you a shoulder massage as well as help you wash your hair. and we can talk about girl stuff and gab and all that fun stuff…”

YN: “thank you Rebekah. you being here with me today is actually a huge relief that i wont have to get myself ready for my own wedding. i didnt have any siblings that i know of nor any friends…. it was a very lonely time back home… now i am actually gonna live with people who i know will always be by my side so thank you for everything!”

Rebekah: “your selcome. now get into that bath before i vamp speed it upon you…”

you take the bikini and the towel going into the bathroom. it was amazing the decor and the view. you could still see and hear the festivities of the people below but you also were occupied with putting on the bikini and getting into the bath.

first step in was warm, the water was warm, you were smiling as you sunk into the water. you let out a kind of loud sigh as you spoke…

YN: “its safe bekah, come on in girl.”

rebekah comes in and smiles as another lady walks in beside her…

rebekah: “this is my sister freya. she just arrived from helping with a witch problem out of town. she came in to meet the newest member of the family. but she is a witch. she helped pick the necklace with Kol for you.”

Freya: “hello YN, im freya. please allow me take away some of your nerves to better help you relax.”

you nod as rebekah comes up behind you to set up to wet down and wash your hair. Freya goes to grab some sage and burns the tip as she mutters a few words, you begin to feel alot more relaxed.

you feel the stress and nervousness leave your body as Freya comes to put a touching coat of wine red Nail polish on your nails, your hands were for obvious reasons staying out of the water.

YN: “can we deal with my toes once im out of the bath?”

Freya: “of course, cause we can mosturize your feet as well to help with blisters and such too… not to worry girl, we got this. trust me i know how you feel bout my brother. im in that same boat with a lovely lady of my own… of course she wont be attending this ceremony she understands that this is a family matter.”

YN: “i need to get something off my chest…”

Freya mutters a few extra words.

Freya: “we can now speak freely ive sound proofed the room.”

YN: “i never thought in a million years i would ever get married, not to someone as wonderful as Kol. i just wish i hadnt spent all my life alone… for the entire time of my past relationship if you can call it that, i lived in constant fear of each day being my last cause he was an asshole whose idea of being roommates was a secret perverted lie, he told me he was gay and then he started ordering me around like i was his slave, then he had me dress slutty, then he had me dance for him and his drinking buddies. i cried myself to sleep almost every single night. i am just happy to have a future thats bright.”

Freya: “not to worry sis, we will make sure nothing ever happens to you again. now Rebekah go prepare the robe so she can wear it while we do her hair. and make sure the dress is not a pull on, i will finish with her.”

Freya helps you to relax a bit longer, by this point 1 hour had almost gone by, you were so relaxed and caught up in girl chat that you didnt realize what time it was. good thing it wouldnt take long to get you ready.

Freya handed you a towel as she averted her eyes from you to allow you to wrap into the towel. it was an amzing thing you felt so relaxed. but you still had lots to prep before you could stand by and watch some of the festivities.

of course with rebekah and Freya from the balcony that would be where you guys would sit drink champagne and listen to the music and deal with whatever comes your way.

you and Freya walk out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, your mind begins to wander as you go behind the changing screen and put on your strapless bra and your lace panties. this would be your under garments for Kols viewing after everything.

you come out in a undone robe and sexy lingerie, both Rebekah and Freya make oolalas and sexy eyes at you jokingly of course because they knew you never had any real friends or family before this so they just treated you like family right off the hop.

Freya: “stylish.. kols gonna flip. now come sit in this chair sis, sideways so your feet are over the arm rest and your hair is easily accessable for rebekah… and try to relax again, just enjoy it enjoy your champagne and dainties. and dont worry your glass will just keep refilling itself. its enchanted!”

You did as instructed, you giggled with both of them, you felt good, you finally felt normal.

{~*A/N we are almost done our epic tale, i think… we have but 3 more instances to get through. now we venture from freya, rebekah and YN being girls and happy to Kol Elijah and Klaus being men and making sure they forget to play nice entirely. Back to the story.*~}

meanwhile, while you and the ladies were have amazing conversation and excellent champagne. the guys however not so much, elijah was just sitting back while Kol and Klaus were well sparing but for them sparing was arguing in a form.

Elijah: “niklaus dont hurt Kol he is the one getting hitched in a few hours.”

Klaus: “nah he will heal by then, just mind your own business elijah.”

Elijah: “fine Kol can i ask you some questions while you kick our brothers ass from here to kingdom come.”

Kol: “go for it elijah i will answer them best i can.”

Elijah: “do you want me to write your vows for you or are you just gonna tell me what to write for you?”

Kol: “ill talk you write…”

Elijah: “next question how do you like the ceremony layout?”

Kol: “it was elegent and simple with the mikelson touch it is exactly how we wanted thank you brother.”

elijah watched as Kol now was charging head on for Klaus… this made elijah kind of flinch when the 2 of them collided.

Elijah: “niklaus you need to behave for the sake of our family reputation be on your best behavior. in the name of our family do not ruin us niklaus. it will destroy this family. now if you boys will excuse me im gonna go check on the decorations i just got the text from the ladies that they are watching the festivities from the balcony. ill go and see our dear sisters in a moment after the decorations and the set up. i can not stress enough Niklaus do not mess this day up. or i will do something drestic..”

elijah leaves the scene already wearing his tux, looking sharp and spify he goes out to check on the decorations leaving the 2 guys truly alone.

Klaus: “are you sure you want to get married brother? to this human that you have not known long?”

Kol: “its love at first sight. i didnt compel her or anything i just knew. she was the one i wanted to spend my eternity happily with. now either come at me or ill make you regret it. and elijahs right ill even let him do the honors if you wreck my wedding. now go get ready nik… ceremony starts in a few hours and we have male portraits to take…”

Klaus doesnt say anything but instead scowls at his brother before smirking and walks out of the room and back to his so he can get ready. Kol heads back to his room, he gets ready and goes to stand close to the balcony so he can hear your sweet voice.

he then gets a text from you the conversaton though short and sweet went like this:

this made Kol smile he went on his way to the photos with a huge smile crossing his features. while you were sitting with the girls swooning over the chat. it wasnt vocal or face to face but you could hear his voice say every single word.

the girls were not shy to this heroic deed either. this was how you were beginnined your newest journey through life. this is how you are starting over. this is how your life was gonna be. you were getting married this very day!

you put on your dress and had just finished zipping it up when Elijah knocked on the door. you freya and rebekah turned towards the door to see elijah enter.

Elijah: “all 3 of you ladies look spectacular. but the bride looks absolutely radiant. everything decoration wise is in order, the food for the receptin is being prepared, the place settings are laid out as per your specifications and you are gonna love how dashing the groom looks. he is as radiant as you are sister in law. Freya its a pleasure to see you again, i trust it went well with the witches. rebekah stunning as always. niklaus is in a mood, be warned ladies both Kol and myself have threatned to take drastic action against him should he do anything to disrupt yours and Kols wedding. we will start in 10 minutes.”

You stand to approach elijah…

YN: “thank you for doing everything for this wedding to go off without any issues. elijah i am truly honored to call you brother. now you should go and please tell Kol that i love him.”

Elijah: “of course sister. ill see everyone down in a few moments. places.”

you suddenly were torn away from the sight of the door closing by the aroma of sour puss shots. you freya and rebekah went out onto the balcony overloooking the inside of the compound where you couldnt be seen to listen to the start of the ceremony.

Elijah: “if you will all take your seats we will begin the ceremony immediately.”

everyone sat down, elijah continued.

Elijah: “welcome ladies, gentlemen and honored guests. today it is my highest honor to officiate the wedding of my dear brother Kol and his lady YN. they found their happiness in eachother so today we join our hearts with their own as they join their lives forever. everyone please rise and turn for the approach of the bridal party.”

that was when you freya and rebekah took the shots. you were all smiling as rebekah went down first, then freya went down about 10 seconds after, then elijah spoke again.

Elijah: “now if you all will have your gaze continual fixed on the stairs its time to greet the bride, this is the first glance between the bride and the groom as well for they have not seen one another for 24 hours now. here comes the bride!”

you from behind the pillar and into everyone’s view, no one looked shocked except for Kol. his reaction was one you had asked the photographer specifically to catch. so you could hold it over his head for all eternity.

Freya had waited at the bottom of the stairs so she could walk with you the rest of the way down the aisle. the second you locked eyes with Kol coming off the stairs both of you were smiling, neither of you could think straight.

seeing kol standing there looking so handsome in his suit made your knees go weak cause in your eyes he was moi caliente.

kol kept his cool but he wanted to take you right then right there in the middle of the aisle because in his eyes you were sexy beyond compare.

reaching the end of the aisle freya placed your hands in Kols, you handed your bouquet to rebekah and then nodded at Elijah to continue the ceremony.

Elijah: “My name is Elijah Mikelson it is my highest privilage and honor to preside over this ceremony that shall unite Kol and Yn. should anyone object to this union let them speak now or for eternity let them stay silent.”

no one spoke from the crowd. the surroundings were glimmering, but you and Kol were lost entirely in eachothers gaze.

Elijah: “very well, i understand from the couple that they have prepared their own vows. starting with Yn you may now recite your vows.”

you grip Kols hands in your own as you take a nice deep breath.

YN: “Kol, you changed my life. you spoke one word to me and that was it your accent had me hooked. i fell instantly for you. i stand here today to declare that from now and forever i shall be yours wholy and willingly. yours and yours alone. your the reason why i can have a normal life. your the reason why i can finally feel free from my old life. today i die to be resurrected into this new eternity of firsts with you! i love you Kol Always and Forever!”

Elijah smiled slightly as he spoke once more.

elijah: “Kol dear brother its your turn.”

Kol too took a breath.

Kol: “YN, my darling my light. i feel like ive known you forever. i love your laugh, your smile, your eyes the way they sparkle. i love everything about you. it takes alot of courage to propose marriage but it takes greater courage to say that you want to die and be resurrected into a life that your unfamiliar with for the rest of eternity to be with someone. many of us didnt have a choice, most of us became what we are by force not out of our own free will. Yn made the choice out of her own free will cause she came to New Orleans looking for a fresh start. the choice she made was to be with me and stand by my side for eternity. today i turn you to be like me and in doing so bring you into your new life as your husband above all else Always and Forever will i love you evermore!”

Elijah: “now if Rebekah will give Yn Kols wedding ring its time to exchange the rings.”

Rebekah hands you the ring as Elijah clears his throat to speak again.

Elijah: “say the declaration of love that you were given to speak during this part. this will be your affirmation to everyone here including yourself and Kol that you are ready to become what we are for all eternity. then Kol say the reply and place your ring directly after.”

You slowly start to slide the ring on Kols finger as you begin to speak.

YN: “I YN declare this day to now and forevermore forsake my mortality and exchange it for the thrills of marriage and immortality. Kol i vow to love, honor, cherish and be faithful to you forsaking my mortality and old life always and forever.”

Kol take the ring from Klaus as Elijah cleared his throat as Kol began to speak.

Kol: “i Kol accept your declaration and this day declare that those who dare try to harm or commit treason against my bride shall be executed at the hands of the Mikelsons. from this day and into eternity i Kol vow to love, to cherish, honor, be faithful and protect you forsaking all others for eternity and into forever. i love you Yn Always and Forever.”

Elijah straighten up and smiled now ready to speak again.

Elijah: “by the power vested in me by the laws of New Orleans i by my highest honor pronounce you Husband and Wife. Kol you may kiss your bride!”

Kol’s hands leave your own to one arm hold you by the waist, the other with your free arm as well fist bumping the air as he Kisses you passionately. surely the photographer caught that absolutely beautiful moment.

you and Kol joined hands breaking the kiss and the crowd applauded louder and louder their applause was turned round by Klaus speaking.

Klaus: “3 cheers for the happy couple…”

the crowd roared at those words. but neither you nor kol cared you both were just happy that this day so far had gone off without a hitch. you were whisked away from the crowd for a few moments alone with your husband. you both went into one of the small rooms upstairs to be alone.

Kol: “finally i get you all to myself for a while.”

YN: “i guess you dont do large parties often.”

Kol: “not often, not since our mother passed. she was the one who threw the parties, i only went to please her. did that really just happen? did i just get married to the most gorgeous woman ive ever met?”

YN: “that depends if it was a dream dont you think we would have woken up by now?”

Kol just laughed as he stood and held his hand out to you.

Kol: “i want to show you something… this is something i had done up for the woman who i would eventually end up with.”

Kol goes to the desk and pulls out a box, the appearance of the box was petite and black with no logos or anything. he comes back to stand beside you he hands you the box.

Kol: “happy wedding day darling!”

you stare at the box for a few moments before opening it. this revealed the mikelson family crest on a bracelet… similar to Kols but more you!

YN: “Kol its beautiful dear thank you! now i have a gift for you but it was kinda hard to decide what to get you, so i had vincint enchant this item with a locator spell, so no matter what life brings us cause i know the family probably have enemies who will at some point or another possibly come after us and i cant loose you so here…”

you go to the corner by the bed and you pull out a small box. you handed it to Kol, you then watched him open it to reveal a set of dog tags.

Kol: “its beautiful babe! now lets go comence the reception. and bring you into your new life.”

those words said and the 2 of you walked back to the top of the stairs awaiting the announcement.

Elijah: "ladies and gentlemen may i present to you for the first time Kol and Yn Mikelson!”

you and Kol step out on the stairs, going down you both greet the guests. then you both greet the siblings.

Freya: “you both were absolutely graceful up there.”

Rebekah: “we have another sister, yes!!!!! we will do everything girly when your changed Yn we will show you the best time.”

Elijah: “i hope that you both will enjoy this new found life together. YN im honored to call you now my sister.”

Klaus: “well this party is successfully dull when do we eat.”

Elijah: “niklaus, dont be impatient you must wait for the cooks to be finished what they are doing.”

Klaus: “fine brother if you need me ill be at the bar drinking the stock.”

you and Kol decided to enjoy the cocktail hour with the siblings minus Klaus, then you decide to give elijah the signal once Dinner trays start being put on tables.

Buffet style dinner, the first dance a tango of sorts something Kol had picked up it was so romantic, a few more photographs, then it was time for speeches, first rebekah, then klaus, then elijah and finally Kol (speaking for you and him).

Kol: “first of all, me and my beautiful bride wish to thank each and every one of you for being here tonight to celebrate with us. second i have a few more thank yous to give. first to my brother Elijah thank you brother for being here today and being ready to perform this ceremony. we are so grateful. second to my sisters Freya and Rebekah, thank you both of you for helping my beautiful bride and accepting this choice, and being here to share in this day. we love you both. third to my brother Nik, who fought back his urges to ruin what is the happiest day of my eternity, thank you for being here today brother i know we have alot of unresolved anger to work on but i know we will resolve it in due time. forth to Vincint whose enchantments helped me and my beautiful bride have wonderful gifts for eachother for this glorious occassion. thank you my friend, we look forward to many more dinners and drinks with you my dear friend. and finally to my bride, YN you changed my life, now with this goblet i change yours. inside it you wont taste anything off but when we toast you have to drink your entire goblet. thats why its only at half. now as you step out of this life and into your eternity with me i promise you wont feel a thing but you will be quarantined with me for a few days after before i take you on the proper honeymoon you deserve. toast to my family.”

everyone began to toast Kol and you turned to face eachother. clinking your goblets, you chug your entire glass then look up at your husband who kisses you but as he breaks the kiss he snaps your neck. you fall limp in his arms.

Kol then carries you bridal style into your now shared bedroom, knowing he had to stay by your side till you awaken, he had prepared everything, he had bloodbags, he had a change of clothes, he had thought of everything he could possibly think of.

Kol took off his shoes, your shoes and his coat before he lay beside you knowing that in a few hours yiu would wake. he hoped that you would not spiral if he was the first person you saw coming out of stasis.

Kol (to your still form): “i pray you will see the good out of this after you wake. i love you and ill be right here when you wake up.”

kol faced you and shut his eyes reminiscing on the events that took place that very day. Several hours later he could hear the pulsingnblood through your body awakening, he could feel your fingers beginning to move, intently he watched your form. A few moments later you woke up.

the light hurt to look at, the way your gums hurt, everything all at once made you sit straight up. Kol was in front of you in moments.

Kol: “hey love, hey its okay. your gonna be okay. what do you remember?”

YN: “i remember our wedding, the reception, the stolen moment after photos, the dance, the toast, the goblet. drinking it and now waking up here with you. did it work? am i?”

Kol: “here drink this do what i do ill drink some with you. but you need this so your gums stop hurting and so your aversion to sunlight subsides. if you do what i do and just keep your gaze on me you will be fine and the transition will be complete.”

Kol hands you a blood bag from the pile he has just put on the bed and he sits in front of you. he takes the tube and uses it like a straw you do the same thing, the pain subsiding as soon as the blood touched your lips.

you went through 10 blood bags before Kol finally got up and put the pile in the garbage.

Kol: “how do you feel now love?”

YN: “no more pain, i feel fantastic. hows the family?”

Kol: “why dont you ask them yourself.”

at that moment the door to your room is opened to reveal Freya, rebekah and Elijah. Freya and Rebekah approach you first pulling you into a 3 way girl hug. this was the one embrace you had been looking forward to.

then you stood as Elijah approached.

Elijah: “how do you feel sister?”

YN: “i feel good, actually Kol said i am doing better than expected. but still wants to keep me here.”

Elijah: “fair enough but from what im seeing you are progressing beautifully. dont stress too much about your progress. niklaus regrets he couldnt be here but he had business to attend to in the south quarter. some witches wanted to speak with him.”

you looked at Kol who nodded to rebekah and freya.

Freya: “come with us sister we are gonna let you see your closet. we are also gonna help you move it into this room but we want you to see it first.”

you go with them, elijah and Kol follow...

-you discover your new wardrobe.

-Kol and Elijah as well as your sisters now help you to transfer your new wardrobe into your room.

-Klaus returns to the compound with a young girl who he had had an affair with back in Mystic Falls a while ago but just found out is pregnant somehow with his child.

- you learn how to speed safely, you learn how to use compulsion, you leanr how to use your strength without killing anyone with a hug or a hand shake as well as how to control your blood lust.

you are standing in yours and Kols room on the balcony in one of the silk sheets you both had recieved as a wedding present after a shower. Kol comes up behind you wraping his arms around your waist from behind.

Kol: “what are you doing out here in that sheet?”

YN: “just admiring this beautfiul city. listening to the calm. seeing the bstle of the night life coming together.”

Kol: “how bout you come to bed so we can properly consumnate our marriage?”

You follow Kol to bed and that was that. you both in a frenzy concummated the marriage and smiled lots.

#vampire diaries #originals #the originals #kol mickelson x reader

10 notes · View notes

intricate-oeuvre · 5 years

Text

say it before you run out of time || B. Hardy || part V

part I part II part III part IV part V part VI part VII part VIII part IX part X part XI part XII part XIII

Word count: 1.7.k

Summary: Ben and the reader have been friends since childhood. And along the way reader falls in love with him. But it might be too late when another girl shows up claiming that she’s his girlfriend.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, horrible writing tho, i dont know where i am going with this

A/n:Thank you for reading! I haven’t slept for last 22ish hours and I am holding on the RedBull, so pray for me. hmu if you want to be tagged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***gif- courtesy of google // if it’s yours hit me up so I can credit you

For a second you heard absolutely nothing. Just dreading the water that was in front of you. You were never the biggest fan of deep water. You felt comfortable with it till you could reach the ground with your feet, but after that it was no go for you.

Moments later you heard cheers, probably indicating that shit is about to hit the fan.

Next second you felt sharp push under your shoulder blades. Ben’s shoulder digging into your back.

First moment there is shock. The cold water enveloping you.

After that there is that sinking feeling that brings panic. You can’t reach anything; it feels as if you are sinking endlessly in black hole.

Only thing that keeps you sane at this moment are Ben’s arms around your midsection.

Panic probably was taking a hold of your mind way too much because for a split second you didn’t feel the burning sensation in your lungs that were starting to scream for air.

“Get her out…” you suddenly heard Ben’s voice as you both surfaced back up. His strong arm still securely wrapped around your waist as he brought you both to the edge of the pool, where his friends pulled you out.

Now sitting on the edge of the pool, legs still dangling in water as Ben was holding on to your knees.

“Are you alright?” Ben asked, brow furrowed in worry, tapping your knee.

“Yeah…” you coughed and grabbed at your chest.

“She looks like wet rat.” Someone in back said. Rose, Maddie, Ben and his friends turned to the voice. Except you, only opting to stare at your hands in your lap.

“Ignore them.” Rose said and rubbed your back. Ben looked back at you, running hand through his wet hair.

“Get her inside. She’ll freeze.” Ben said, still searching your face, as he wasn’t sure if to believe you when you said you were alright.

“And you won’t?” your eyes shot to him. He didn’t answer, just gave you a small chuckle and pulled him self out of the pool next to you.

“Come on, go in, y/n.” Ben sighed and looked back at Nina.

“Did she do her dare or not?” Ben stood up, his hands raised, waiting for approval.

“Yeah, yeah…” Nina smirked, walking closer to Ben.

“Let’s go.” Maddie said, feeling that whatever was about to happen, wasn’t for your eyes. She and Rose pulled you up and brought you in the house.

“I am wet as a rat-“ you recalled when you walked in the bathroom with Rose and Maddie behind you.

“I didn’t bring any clothes with me.” You rolled your eyes, looking at the mirror.

“Don’t you leave any when you stay over?” Rose asked.

“Well, not really… well… probably, yeah… but who the fuck knows where they are now.” You furrowed your brows. It wasn’t like you owned a room here to leave your clothes in. Sometimes, you just lost them because you misplaced them and didn’t put them back into your bag and later on forgot about them.

“I’ll be right back.” Rose said with small smile playing on her lips.

“What is she doing?” You raised your eyebrow at Maddie.

“I have no idea.”

“If she asks Nina… I’ll kill her….” You groaned and held sink with annoyed expression.

Next moment Rose was back and she wasn’t alone.

“What did you do?” you tilted your head at Rose.

“Stop leaving clothes at my place.” Ben grinned standing behind Rose, wearing dry jeans and drying his hair with towel. That boy needed to learn how to wear shirt more often. Not that you were complaining. For a second you panicked. What did you leave at his place???

“Come, let’s find you something dry to wear.” Ben said and turned around, waiting for you to follow him.

“You are dead.” You pointed at Rose when you passed her.

Walking couple steps behind Ben, both of you arrived at his bedroom. Not that you were first time in here, but surely first time in here since he was sharing it with Nina. For a moment you stopped in doorway.

“Are you coming?” Ben turned around and looked at you, folding towel in half.

You looked around, but didn’t say anything.

“Nina is not here, if that was what you were wondering.” Ben said with slight roll of his eyes. With small nod you stepped into the room.

“You have tendency to leave your stuff here all the time.” Ben chuckled, making his way to his walk-in closet.

“You should be able to find something in there.” Ben tapped one of the lower drawers with his foot and went on to search for a t-shirt to wear.

As he was rummaging through the hangers and shelves for shirt, you sink to your knees on the floor and slowly opened the drawer.

What did you leave here??? It was dreadful thought.

You glanced in the drawer.

“What the fuck?” you mumbled. Why were you leaving so many socks here, and how you hadn’t run out of them at your dorm because of this? There also where two t-shirts, your shorts that you thought you had lost, scarf that was probably here since last season.

“Shit.” You hissed when your hand touched a long-lost fabric.

“Is everything alright?” Ben asked, already wearing white t-shirt.

“Yep.” You squeaked and balled up in your fist that small piece of clothing. How in the hell did you manage to leave black lacy panties in his house????

Quickly grabbing random shirt, shorts and a pair of socks you jumped up.

“Found something?” Ben tilted his head to the side.

“Aha.” You were looking anywhere but him.

“You can change in the bathroom. Towels are there.” Ben said, eyeing you carefully.

“Thanks.” You said and quickly made your way to his bathroom. Shutting the door behind yourself you leaned against it.

“Shit. Fuck. What the bloody hell.” You whisper-shouted as you threw your clothes on the counter and looked at the piece of clothing that you had bunched up.

“Somebody kill me.” You whined and changed into dry clothes. Putting on those damned panties and shorts you looked at the shirt. You’ll freeze in that. Grabbing the towel and holding it against your bare chest you stuck your head out of the bathroom.

“Ummm… Ben?” You quietly called out.

He was laying on his bed, stomach down, and scrolling through his phone. Frankie was lying beside him, but upon hearing you open the doors, the dog jumped off the bed and made her way to you.

“Done?” He asked, raising his eyes up to look at you.

“Actually, could you lend me like… some hoodie or something, please?” You held out your t-shirt in your hand. Ben only hummed in response and rolled off the bed to walk back into the closet.

While he was doing that, you listened to the song that was coming from downstairs, silently mumbling along the lyrics:

“Your body’s poetry, speak to me, Won’t you let me be your rhythm tonight, move your body, move your body, I wanna be your muse, use my music…”

“Is there a song to which you do not know the lyrics?” Ben chuckled walking out of the closet.

“Maybe only a couple.” You laughed and moved the shirt that was in your hand, waiting for exchange.

“I said to keep this one.” Ben said as he gave you his sweater. You looked down at the yellow sweater that you had left on the sofa this morning.

“I really shouldn’t.” You mumbled.

“It’s only a sweater, y/n.” Ben chuckled, still waiting for you to take the mentioned piece of article. Well, yeah. Only a sweater. Only HIS sweater.

With small nod you reached out to grab the sweater, but froze for a second when you looked towards the window, concentrating now on the song that was playing.

“Who listens to this song?” You mumbled.

“As if you didn’t like 50 shades.” Ben reminded you, when he took a second to recall the name of that song. ( a/n: For you by Liam Payne & Rita Ora)

“It’s a good book and movie, alright?” You said finally taking the sweater from him. Slightly brushing your fingers against his hand. Why did it suddenly cause sparks to run up your hand? Charging you up. As if it was jump-starting your heart.

“Thank you.” You said and turned to walk in the bathroom to finally get done with changing, leaving small gap in the doors still opened. Trying to calm your racing heart.

“Hey, y/n?” Ben asked, his voice giving away to the fact that he was still somewhere near the door.

“I’m going to go for a smoke. Join me?” he asked.

“Where?” you said, walking out of the bathroom in his yellow sweater on your bare torso and shorts, your hair still damp.

Ben was now standing near the window looking down at the pool, where party was still going on. Your eyes drifted along every person, trying to understand where Ben was looking. It didn’t take you long to find Nina. Sitting in Dom’s lap and making out with the man.

“Pool-house.” Ben said turning to you, stuffing pack of cigarettes and lighter in his pocket. You nodded.

Tearing your eyes away from the window you looked at him. Not sure what you were seeing in his green eyes.

“Ben, are you al-“ you started quietly.

“I need a cigarette.” Ben dodged your question and grabbing your hand went out of the room.

Why did it feel like two heart-broken people were dragging each-other somewhere where it was impossible for other to follow?

You were broken because he had found his love and it was not in you. And you wanted to get away from him because it hurt too much to be around him when he felt so far away.

He was broken because he thought Nina could be his one, but wasn’t sure what the named girl actually wanted from him. And he couldn’t understand what to do with the feelings he was having towards the girl who’s hand he was holding at the moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tags: @brianandthemays @queen-turtle-boiii @rogahloveshiscar @radiob-l-a-hblah @scarsout @sara-1705 @babydazz @mercurycrowley @drowse13 @ironicallyrog @moe-jazzello @forbbidensunlust @virtualsheepeat @vanitysfairr @luvborhap

#ben #benjamin #benjamin jones #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #ben hardy x female reader #ben hardy x oc #Queen #bohrap #bohemian rhapsody #xmen #warren worthington iii #mary shelley #woman in white #friends to lovers #angst

123 notes · View notes

mothmansfriend · 4 years

Text

when i’m sad oh god i’m sad (pt. 2)

link to pt. 1

follows a very similar timeline to @tearxofink‘s fic Rules for a Functioning Alcoholic but will prob have differences (such as no established relationships) and takes place in @illogicallyinclined‘s hockey au after the mention of Remus possibly having undiagnosed bipolar disorder

update: i think its important to acknowledge roughly where this takes place in the big timeline bc D doesn’t really drink past freshman yr in this AU because of self preservation and trauma, alcoholism was more an issue before then in high school (when remus and d were Rowdy Boys) but the stress of Logan’s concussion lead to some heavy drinking that was caught quickly by Virgil because Remus Cannot Keep Secrets.

summary: Remus has undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder and is dealing with a severe depressive episode in the aftermath of realizing that binge drinking with D wasn’t just his own search to Feel Something, but was also D’s relapse into alcoholism. Remus comes to the realization of lost time during manic episodes and refuses help.

tw: graphic descriptions of a depressive episode, self harm (burning), suicidal thoughts, and suicidal intent (but not attempt). unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcohol abuse, mentioned alcoholism, undiagnosed mental illness, miscommunications on shared trauma, ask to tag if i missed any.

There are a number of places that are simply uncomfortable to sleep. Barely sitting up and using the chairs provided by the previous tenants as a pillow is certainly one of them. It takes Remus a moment to identify what woke him up as there's another round of knocking on his door and he doesn’t want to respond. It’s bright out,the sun is blocked from his figure by the curtains covering most of the windows. He hears Roman’s muffled voice as the locked doorknob jiggles, “See? I told you he’s not here, Virge. There’s nothing to be worried about, if he doesn’t show up by tomorrow I’ll go look for him. You know how he is”.

Their footsteps move away and Virgil speaks, “Can you text him? I’m just worried, Thomas said that-” his voice fades as they enter the kitchen.

Remus can barely pick himself off the floor before his phone lit up with a notification.

the shittier twin: You good? LMK when you’re coming home, Virgil is lowkey freaking out (received: 10:14)

He stares at the words willing his brain to focus as he decides, maybe he should reply.

He sends a photo of a fat pigeon he took outside a club him and D got kicked out of a few weeks ago. It would be clear that the picture was taken at a different time, but does get message of ‘I’m alive’ across. Which is about as much as Remus is willing to communicate to people that haven’t even tried to contact him before now. How sad is it that his twin brother didn’t even check on him until six days later. Or maybe he should be asking if it’s sad that after four days Roman still hasn’t noticed that he’s home, or that it took Roman six to even ask? Remus spends all this time in the theatre and in the arts studio, and still Roman was the only one to ask, though at the request of someone who wants to get mad at him. He considers if maybe that he is a bad person, and that isn’t something he normally would care about, but if he weren’t then people might have checked on him. He usually hangs out with D almost everyday and he swears he’s never been gone more than maybe four days. But no one else seems concerned at all.

He considers reasons why this might be and gets stuck on Roman’s comment that he hasn’t been gone that long, and the implications then of him being gone longer. Things that don’t really make sense, but he knows losing your train of thought and getting distracted is a part of ADHD, but maybe, this is much more concerning. How does he know that he’s only ever been gone so long, maybe those lapses are more than a few minutes of zoning out. Which leads to, does Remus know who he is during these lapses? The contrast between the two prince twins have always been clear in their behaviour, Roman who follows every word their parents whisper in his ear. The boy grew up to be an actor after years of who takes any command without thought at that chance to be on top, and revelled in praise. It’s the cowards way of survival, are you really living if you’re not you? He knows Roman wasn’t quite loving that, but he still complied. Remus has always known exactly who he is and who he always will be. But the uncertainty of who he is in those spaces that seem to be taking up more and more space, maybe he;s been following someones script too?

He’s constantly changing his mind and forgetting where he is, are his feelings his? If everything the thought he knew about himself is slipping through his fingers like sand in an hourglass than how does he make it stop?

—

Virgil slides into the recently empty chair next to Roman the second Patton gets up to ask the waitress for another round of coffee, he steals one of Roman’s sausages and speaks, “By the way, I’m catching a ride to your place with you and D”.

Roman squawks at the sausage thief, “Why? I already told you Remus isn’t home!”

Virgil rolls his eyes, “Yeah I know, just humour me. I went to talk to Joan before we left and Thomas said Remus texted to apologize for missing practice, he’s never done that before! I just wanna come check, you can make fun of me later or whatever.”

“Fine, whatever, I know you’d just show up anyway. I don’t think him texting Thomas means anything though, even if it is weird.”

“Well we can agree to disagree then.”

—

The entry to the apartment the Prince twins share with D was just as full of banter as expected. D and Roman irritating Virgil without effort but Virgil matching that with his own comebacks and determination to check on Remus. “Alright, Emo Knightmare, let’s go knock on his cave door so I can know you again, that he isn’t home” Roman drops his bag next to the couch and heads down the shared hallway of D, Remus, and the storage closet. D walks past him with comments of a essay due tomorrow and disappears. Roman walks down and knocks on the door sternly once maintaining eye contact with Virgil knowing there will not be a response. Virgil follows him and he knocks again after a moment and jiggles the knocked door handle. “See? I told you he’s not here, Virge. There’s nothing to be worried about, if he doesn’t show up by tomorrow I’ll go look for him. You know how he is.” Roman turns and leads them back out into the living room towards the kitchen.

Virgil pauses for a moment watching the door before he follows, “Can you text him? I’m just worried, Thomas said that he actually texted to apologize for not showing up today. You know when Remus is out he never remembers to charge his phone, it just seems weird.”

Roman exhales and wordlessly pulls out his phone shooting off a text to his twin before pulling some leftovers out of the fridge to offer to Virgil despite the fact they had eaten not long ago. Virgil accepts and he puts it on two plates for the microwave. Roman’s phone vibrates on the counter with a text. The emo leans over to read and snorts, “Wait, is Remus’s name actually ‘the shittier twin’ in your phone? He just send a picture of what appears to be an obese pigeon, that doesn’t answer my question at all!”

Roman shrugs, “Of course it is, and yeah that sounds about right, it’s like he’s trying to communicate through hieroglyphics, he’s just telling us he’s fine.”

Virgil’s dark eyes examine Roman’s face for any reflection that he’s just trying to make him stop bothering him with his concern, but when he sees nothing he drops his defensiveness, “Yeah, okay, he’s your brother, he’s kind of like a cat I guess. He always comes home right?”

The microwave beeps and Roman slides the extra plate in front of Virgil, “Exactly, he’s just like this, I’ll text you when he comes back. You don’t need to worry about it, Virge.”

Virgil shoots him a small smile before taking his plate to the couch closely followed by the oldest Prince twin as they settle down with Netflix until they need to leave for their respective classes.

—

Roman blearily wipes his eyes as he wakes up in his dark room and rolls over to check the time. 2:34am wake up and bathroom break time. He briefly considers just rolling over and waiting four or five hours until he needs to get up for class, but decides there’s just a higher chance of getting a restless sleep the rest of the night. The hockey captain rolls out of bed standing in his room shirtless and only wearing a random pair of soft sleep pants and stumbles out of his room, crossing the living room and entry way he’s about to try the handle of the dark bathroom door when it opens to reveal a tall dark figure.

Roman jumps back with an admittedly embarrassing squawk before recognizing the dark figure to be a freshly showered, exhausted, and almost weak looking Remus. The two stood in silence for a moment, Remus not even reacting to the sight of his brother. Roman awkwardly laughed for a moment, “Holy shit, Remus! I didn't even realize you were home.”

Remus stares emptily, moving to walk away without replying, Roman stops him with a hand on his shoulder, “Are you like, uh, okay? You kind of look like shit”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say as suddenly Remus’s face hardens into a snarl, “Oh fuck you, Roman.” His voice cracks halfway through but it doesn’t do anything to diminish the venom in his voice, “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Christ! If you’re going to be an asshole then nevermind, I just wanted to check up on you. You know, like a concerned brother just might do?” Roman fires back suddenly feeling defensive. The tone of voice Remus uses almost sounds scared to him but he doesn’t have the energy to pry at Remus in the hallway less than 6 feet from D’s door at 2:30am.

“You don’t get to play any kind of concerned brother role right now! You don’t just get to decide to be concerned one day, it’s all about appearances with you, I dont fuck with that!” Remus’s voice raises as he gets more and more riled up, his voice sounds like shit as if he hasn’t used it in days, “Tell me when you think I got home, Princey, huh? You don't know shit about me and it’s time you stopped asking like you do.” He steps towards Roman edging back down the hallway to the living room.

“Why am I supposed to know when you got home?” Roman fires back, “You’re an adult! You’ve taken care of yourself fine for years, I’m not your parent I don’t need to know where you are twenty-four-fucking-seven!”

Vaguely, Roman hears D’s bedroom door open and feels brief regret that was smashed by Remus shoving him backwards. “You don’t need to know! But, did you ever think to wonder? Did you ever once care enough to ask? No! I don’t remember ever being gone more than three or four days.”

Roman recoils for a second in confusion but counters standing his ground, “What does that fucking mean? You own a calendar, a phone, you should know your average in the last year has been like five to seven days, you can’t blame me that you decide to go on a bender every 6 months or less. Can’t you ever grow up?”

“It means I don’t know where I was for two to four of those days at least! You self absorbed prick! Fuck!” Remus crumples for a second, his facial expression looks so, lost. He violently grabs and tugs on his still damp hair. He stands back up face guarded once again. “I know I never go out without a plan, I have paid some fucking terrible prices for that that you never need to know about. But, you’re telling me that I was out there and I don’t remember it? And no one thought to mention anything to me? And you’re asking if I’m ‘okay’? Fuck that, fuck you. I’m going back to my room, and ideally I’ll fucking rot and die before I have to look at you again,” Remus seethes before turning and slamming his door without waiting for a response.

Roman sags at his brothers exiting remarks, making tentative eye contact with D who waits in the dark hallway. “I don’t know what to do,” Roman says quietly.

D moves towards him moving them to the couch offering a comforting touch to the remaining twin, “Roman, I cannot tell you that I have any idea about what just happened. But, it seems like he just wants you to be there for him, in his own weird displays of affection he does love you and I think maybe he’s scared sometimes that you don’t care for him, and he lashes out. But right now, you need to go back to sleep so you can go to your boring nine am lecture, and I’ll try to spend time with him tomorrow. Sound good?”

Roman examines D, letting himself feel vulnerable for a moment but trusts that D knows what to do. He’s known the twins since high school, if anyone knew it would be him. “Thank you, D” Roman whispers, leaning into the little affection for a moment before he stands up and moves them back down the hallway.

Roman goes to the bathroom as originally planned but thinks about the things his younger brother had said. How much is he missing? What does it mean for Remus to simply not remember days at a time? Is it because of drinking too much or something else?

As Roman tucks himself back into bed, preparing himself for the restless sleep he had been trying to avoid. His mind wanders, and he can’t help but think that maybe he should be questioning blood stains on Remus’s carpet a little more.

#sanders sides angst #sanders sides #remus sanders #hockey au #university au #creativitwins #roman sanders #virgil sanders #remus prince #roman prince #virgil fosc #bipolar disorder

24 notes · View notes