#/ marley did this and i simply fall in line | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

father-time-and-baby-new-year · 3 years

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Would it be to much to ask for a Eren scenario where both he and the reader are both equally toxic, manipulative and possessive over eachother but both just cannot let the other go to the point where even when they reunite when Eren escapes the survey corps he asks her to tell him if anyone else whether it was the army or the jeagerists, if they had touched her even if it was just to escort her which she just nods and refuses to tell him any names cuz she likes to see him riled up by her having been "corrupted" and seeing how with a single act she can have him on edge and he falls for her even more by her devious and selfish wiles to have him get irritated and angry but only to end up wanting more of her charms.

Just some good dark angtsy feels all around🖤

A/N: just a little drabble. i've never done canon-verse stuff for AOT so this was fun to try. thank you sending this ask. i did deviate from your ending a little bit so im sorry <3

Warning: AoT Season 4 Spoilers, extreme possessive behavior, toxic relationship, anger issues, gaslighting/manipulating

Eren can feel himself getting restless. Hange had been getting on his nerves. He was the literally the only reason they had secured their victory against Marley on multiple fronts. She and the rest of the fucking Survey Corps should be bending over backward in gratitude.

He cracks his knuckles although he had no need to, wanting to focus on a physical sensation. His thoughts eventually circle back to you. He misses you sorely.

In Marley, there was this kind child Falco. Eren could say he felt guilty for manipulating the poor boy. But that's not true. He's shed that part of humanity a long time ago. All's fair in war after all.

The fair-haired boy was worried about his friend, didn't want a certain special someone of his to become titanized.

Is this other candidate a girl?

Eren had asked. Because he could relate to the Marelyan child. There was a girl he was trying to protect too, who he'd raise hell over, who he'd destroy the world for.

The dark-haired boy can feel himself grow restless. There are a million things to do. Coups to start. Militia to gather. A brother to manipulate. A world to ruin.

But first, he needs to see you. It's already been so long. He had barked orders to Floch to make sure you were safe and secure. If any hair off your pretty little head was misplaced-well no one wants to witness the rage of the Founding Titan's holder.

CRASH

The ground shakes. Eren closes his eyes and lets the Warhammer titan's power course through his veins. Foolish to think any prison could ever hold him.

He's walking uphill. The sunset bathes the land in vibrant pinks, oranges, and light violets. There is a crowd of people standing tall and at attention, postures rigid, save for one.

You hurl towards him at the speed of light and twice the fury, wrapping your arms around his neck. If Eren wasn't six feet of hard muscle, he would have been knocked off his feet from the vigor of your crushing embrace.

"Eren!" You cry out.

The attack titan vessel is too shocked to respond. He's been anticipating your presence for the longest but to finally feel you in the flesh and to smell your soft pretty scent was sending him into overdrive. He couldn't believe you were tangible and not some hauntingly beautiful apparition.

He wraps his arms around you, enveloping your body in his warmth, and you rest your head in the crook of his neck. He feels your nimble fingers toying with his hair.

"I like this new look. It suits you." You mummer.

"Like me without a shirt too?" Eren teases.

He forgot how easy it was to be himself around you, to joke and laugh like he wasn't planning a global genocide of epic proportions. No, even that's an understatement. His goal was an omnicide, utter annihilation. Only Paradis will be left after the ashes settle. A Paradis with you.

"What are you thinking about?" You ask, eyes wide with an untouched innocence that Eren doesn't know how you still possess. All of that eager wide-eyed optimism had been snuffed out from all of his friends. From him. But you, you don't change like the seasons or winds. You're you.

And that was going to be his ruin.

After the Yeagerists brief him on what happened with Zackley and Zeke Yeager's possible whereabouts, Eren gives into his overwhelming urges to see you.

He approaches your chambers, trying to conceal his impatience with soft knocks. You don't answer which irritates him, so he knocks louder and louder, the sound of his fist banging against the door sounding like thunderclaps.

Where the fuck are you? Were you with someone right now? He knew you were getting a little too friendly with Floch from the way you guys were talking at dinner. It was so obvious. He's been gone, for what, a few months and you're already whor-

The door opens and exposes a sleepy-looking girl whose rubbing one of her eyes. Admittedly, very adorable.

"Eren" Your voice is saccharine, "Do you need anything?"

He lets himself in, and shuts the door behind him, locking it in place.

"I don't usually lock the door," You pout but there's a playfulness in your expression that Eren would have noticed had he not been consumed by rage.

"What? So you let anyone in?" He asks, nearly snarling out the words. as he stares scandalized at your slip of a nightgown. A pale translucent pink that reached the middle of your thighs. He could even make the outline of your nipples poking through.

"No, silly." You giggle, twirling the hem of your dress, "Floch's security measure." You pretended not to notice how Eren's fist clenches.

"Is that so?" Eren said, words spoken between gritted teeth. As long as Eren was here, there need be no concerns over security measures. But he knew Floch. The ginger worshipped the ground Eren walked on and would never make a move on you if he cared about his limbs staying intact.

You sat down on your bed and Eren couldn't help but watch your skimpy dress ride up your creamy thighs.

He stood over you, his form looming over yours as you sat on your bed, feet swinging above the ground.

"I wanted to ask you something."

You look up with those big childlike eyes, "Okay."

"Did. Anyone. Touch. You?" His voice is low and he punctuates each word slowly.

You blink "What do you mean?” But there’s a coy smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

"Quit playing dumb." He growls, anger evident in the crease between his eyebrows.

You're quiet for a still moment, mouth opening and closing. Eren's anxiety increases more each second and it finally boils over when you softly ask, "What kind of touch?"

Like a chess piece topping over, he shoves you down the bed, pinning your wrists with his strong hands.

Usually, Eren was smarter. Quicker to call you on your tricks. But alas, absence makes the heart fonder. You love making him lose his stoic composure, so lost in his lust and desire for you that all he can see crimson. And if the price for that is to play the fragile maiden, it is what it is.

"Ow." You pitifully whine, lightly shaking your right hand. Eren knew he wasn't holding you too hard so he experimentally thumbs over a certain spot on your right wrist, eliciting another small whimper. He brings your wrist closer to him and finds a purple bruise.

"Who touched you? Was is it any of the yeagerists?" His voice is deadly calm but an ice-cold rage simmers in his eyes. You can feel yourself growing excited, heat pooling in the bottom of your stomach. You’re rubbing your legs together for the friction but Eren assumes it a nervous tic to avoid answering any of his questions.

When you avert your gaze and simply look the side, he delicately cradles your cheek: “Was it the scouts?”

The delicate touch turns harsher when you don't respond, forcing your pretty head to look straight at him. He sees your eyes glistening, and when he looks into your dewy irises, he can see himself.

His voice drops a pitch, "Please tell me."

Your breathing is shallower and you can't help but enjoy this so much.

It's been so long since you've seen him-since you begged him not to go but he went anyway, and having him here right now--the pride and joy of the Eldian empire , the holder of the Founding Titan-unravel in your fingertips, well this was the closest to true power you've ever been.

Eren can feel his patience sleeping, anger seeping into his bones at your silence, and the bruise on your delicate wrist only serves to anger him further. He can't even do what he swore to do and that was to keep you safe.

"Are you not telling me who it is because you're protecting them?"

The words are delivered deadly calm with the tension of a brewing storm behind it. You're nervous, exactly aware of what your beau is capable of, but the excited kind of nervous where butterflies are swarming in your stomach.

Maybe you underestimated his anger because within a second, the telltale red lines start to form under his eyes, lightning bright sparks forming between each breath.

Without thinking, you envelop the back of his head with one arm (the other hand rendered useless bu the force of his hold), trying to bring his head into the softness your breasts.

Understanding your gesture, Eren immediately calms down and lets himself be smothered in your chest like a babe being cradled in his mother's warmth.

"There, there" you coo, words soft and melodious on your tongue.

You can feel wet-spots on your nightie, "Eren...are you-" you begin, not sure when to end.

His voice is tightly controlled as if not let his coiled emotions fuse again, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was about to hurt you." He sounds so broken, and all you can do is stroke his hair.

You press a kiss to his head. You know what the right words to say are. You should be comforting him and assuring him he could never hurt you.

Instead you stay silent, softly exhaling. He can't see the pleased smile on your face.

"Your wrist feeling any better?"

You whip up your head to see Floch whose peering down at you in slight concern. You must have looked confused because he elaborated, "The one you accidentally banged against the doorway. Looked like it hurt."

"Oh." You pause, looking down at the fresh set of finger shaper marks overtaking the fading violet.

You laugh airily, "Yeah it's alright."

#toxic eren #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager x reader fanfiction #eren yeager x toxic reader #manipulative eren #tw manipulation #tw yelling #tw gaslighting #attack on titan fanfiction #eren yeager x y/n

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cowboycakes · 3 years

Text

Loyalty

Chapter One: Memories

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!Reader

Synopsis: You are a Marleyan warrior who holds the Jaw Titan, tasked with infiltrating Paradis and destroying it. But what happens when love causes you to betray your mission?

Themes: NSFW, 18+, action, betrayal, multi-chapter series.

Warnings: Female bodied reader, explicit sex (penetration/riding, gentle and fluffy, Levi is a virgin), violence/severe injury and blood/battle scenes, threats, mentions of death. Profanity. Spoilers seasons 1-4.

Word count: 2.7k (recently edited to make it flow a little better!)

Note: This story contains spoilers for all seasons of aot (not the manga). It is canon divergent (reader has the jaw titan rather than Porco and reader is on the mission with Reiner and Bertholdt.) Some scenes differ/are more rushed than the scenes they line up with in the actual show. This first chapter is set in season 3.

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The most important lesson you'd learned on this journey was that you couldn’t help who you fell in love with. Love would strike you like a viper by surprise, sinking its fangs deep inside of you and injecting you with lethal poison. Your poor soul was so torn.

The viper in question manifested itself as someone quite inconvenient. A raven haired man - the strongest, most cunning, most selfless man you’d ever observed. And all the while, he was still an island devil.

You were supposed to strike back at the viper, sinking your much larger set of jaws into his heart. Your mission - and specifically your mission - was to end him and his kind. The remaining Ackermans were dangerous. They were a threat to your and your comrades’ titan powers. The goal was to get close to him, to find his weaknesses and strengths. To know his ins and outs like the back of your hand. And then you’d have the advantage. Then you would kill him.

That plan had obviously backfired.

You stood on top of the wall now, alongside Reiner and Bertholdt after they’d just exposed the entire mission to Eren and the others. You could feel the static in the air from a few yards away. They were about to transform.

That wasn’t the problem, though. The problem was that the duo was looking right at you, waiting for you to slash your hand and join in. To rush to their side and eat Eren while you had the chance. Then you could all go home and be celebrated as heroes.

Instead, you were staring back at them - a big, sweaty, teary-eyed, nervous mess.

It was time to betray your homeland.

“I’m sorry Reiner, Bertholdt…” you sob, pulling your hand to your mouth, “but my loyalties lie elsewhere, now.” You rip your teeth through your hand.

Three bolts of lightning shake the wall simultaneously. You emerge in your strongest form - the jaw titan. Your titan had a hardened face like a skeleton with an elongated jaw that stuck out like a wolf. Sharp ridges lined your mouth like fangs, and bright red orbs glowed through your eye sockets. A mane with a color that mimicked your hair grew down from your neck.

You were terrifying. Which is why you needed to get the hell away from these scouts before they decided you needed to die.

You had no interest in defeating Reiner and Bertholdt, that was Eren’s problem now. You were more concerned about the captain on the other side of the wall. He could certainly handle himself, but Zeke had quite the throwing arm. Things could go south very quickly.

You launch yourself down the wall, using your giant talons to slow your fall. You scan the field as you descend, trying to find any sign of Levi.

A voice booms your name to the left of you as you reach the ground.

It’s Pieck in her titan form.

Pieck was like a sister to you. It’s been so long since you’d seen her. You feel a tinge of regret now. Pieck was never going to see you the same again.

You narrow your red eyes at her and charge with full force. Your jaws snap at her heels as she whips around and runs full speed across the field. You finally see who she was running to - Levi and Zeke. Zeke was cut out of his titan form and being held by the hair in Levi's hand.

You pick up your pace, grazing Pieck's legs with your sharp teeth. She stumbles when the two of you go over an indent in the ground, only a few yards from your destination. Her mishap allows you to sink your teeth into her legs. She turns around to bite your neck in response, crushing your weakest spot. You jolt your head, flinging her away from you.

She gets up fast after hitting the ground, continuing at full speed toward Zeke and Levi. You are quick to go after her again, but slow down once you see Levi drop Zeke and bolt out of Pieck's way.

Did he really just give up Zeke that easily?

Suddenly, you feel someone cutting through your titan's nape.

Your vision goes dark.

Out of the darkness, you’re thrown into an old memory. Ah yes, you remember now. All of it is so vivid, right in front of you again.

You’d sneak away to the Captain's office at night frequently. You’d tell yourself these visits were for the mission, to aid you in knowing your victim a little better. His weaknesses could certainly reveal themselves in the comfort of his study. But they certainly weren't for your mission anymore. You’d started to simply crave his company.

You’re walking down the dim halls when you hear two sets of footsteps approaching, quite rapidly. You’re met with two giant bodies slamming into you from behind, grabbing your arms to keep you from running.

“You know, Y/N, I’m getting worried about these visits of yours,” Reiner says, tightening his grip on you. You yelp. “There’s only so much you could be talking about in there with him. There’s only so much shit you could be making up about yourself. He’s going to catch on.”

“He isn’t!” you struggle, “And I’m more clever than these sluggish devil bastards! I’m getting all the information I need!”

“Guys, keep it down!” Bertholdt whispers, frantically looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

Reiner let’s go of you as you topple to the ground in front of him, your hands and knees landing on the cold brick floors below.

“Kill him faster,” Reiner whispers. The two of them make their ways back to their rooms in silence.

You finally stand up when you can’t hear their footsteps anymore, dusting your knees off and collecting your nerves.

You were the oldest titan shifter on the mission from Marley, quite a bit older than Reiner and Bertholdt. You were supposed to be bossing these little shits, not the other way around. But it seemed they were always calling the shots. You deserved to carry out your particular mission however you pleased.

Levi's door is cracked open a bit further down the hall, allowing some faint light to spill into the hall. And inside, there he was as usual, sitting at his desk with a tea and reading some boring literature that you could never understand.

“Long day?” he questions without looking up from his book.

“Yeah,” you sigh, plopping your body down onto a leather sofa near his desk. You lean back into it, reaching your arms up to stretch out. “Thanks for always letting me join you in here. It helps me de-stress.”

You had made a routine of coming in here after a fateful night in the dining hall, after you and Levi realized you could click really well in conversation. You two had shared your entire life stories with each other by now - yours obviously contorted to fit a reality that didn't consist of you being raised in Liberio. You'd grown very close to him, way closer than you had with anyone else in the Scouts. Even though he'd never met the real you, you could relate to him - his struggles and his past especially. His cynical personality had a strange and almost addicting way of brightening your day, and you'd always make sure to tease him for it. Not to mention how handsome he was. He'd catch you stealing glances at him sometimes, but you had a feeling he secretly liked the attention.

If you didn't know better, you'd think you were falling for him.

Your favorite stories of Levi's were of the Underground. It was such a peculiar concept to you, even though it faintly reminded you of life in Liberio. You realized that the people living in the Underground were lucky, in a way. They were oblivious to the world above, secluded from wars and titans. If only every other circumstance of theirs wasn't so unfortunate.

You smile at him as he finally looks up from his book.

“Your tea’s over there,” he says as his eyes dart to the coffee table.

You quickly grab the tea and move it to your mouth.

It was way too hot.

You feel titan steam shoot up from your lips. It had really burned you that badly. You slap a hand over your mouth before the steam could escape, the sound echoing off Levi’s office walls.

“What’s the matter? Tea’s gone cold?” Levi questions, his voice dark. His eyes had been on you the whole time.

“Hmmph?” you say through your hand.

Levi gets up and advances across the room, stopping just in front of you. You’re still frozen on the couch.

“I said, what’s the matter?” His hand meets the one still clamped over your steaming lips.

“Is there something you need to hide under there?” Levi’s finger slips under one of yours, forcing it away from your face. Then another.

Oh shit.

This was a setup. He was actually on to you.

Shit! Regenerate! Faster!

Another finger is forced away from your face. You close your eyes tight, focusing all of your energy to your lips.

This may be it. Right here. Reiner and Bertholdt were going to kill you.

The final two fingers are pried away at once. You open your eyes to look up at him innocently, no steam in sight.

“Uh…” you stutter.

He sighs.

“Sorry. Just trying to keep tabs on who my enemies might be.”

“So you… burned my mouth? Dickhead,” you laugh. You needed to come off as clueless as you could.

Levi’s eyes delicately scan your dewey face. Your lips were still throbbing and swollen. You always wondered if that’s what had compelled him.

He leans down, kissing you softly. Your eyes were wide and your face was motionless for a moment. Then you returned it, cupping a hand sweetly around his jaw.

In a flash, you’re transported to another memory.

You're sitting down on a wooden bench on the outskirts of the combat training arena. You remember being so tired on this day.

You lean your head back and close your eyes, letting the sun soak into your sweat-covered skin. Eventually, a shadow blocks the light shining on you.

You open your eyes to see Levi.

“Want to spar?” he taunted.

“Hell no,” you pant, still limp on the bench.

“You sure? Might be fun to have your ass kicked three times in one day.”

You chuckle at him.

Levi sits down next to you, leaning forward to support his elbows on his knees. The two of you sit there quietly, your ears filled with the sound of summer insects and a cool breeze through the trees.

Your eyes eventually wander to Levi again. He looks upset all of the sudden.

“I’m sorry for kissing you,” he states.

You’re shocked he’s actually bringing it up. After the kiss broke, he just went to sit down at his desk. He acted like none of it had ever happened.

“No, don’t be. I kind of liked it,” you confess, leaning forward to be at his level.

“This can’t continue.”

You feel a tight sensation in your chest. You’re hurt.

“Tell me about it,” you sigh, putting your head in your hands and thinking back to your real duties for once. You were only making things more complicated for yourself.

Of course, it did continue. The two of you avoided each other for a couple of lonely weeks until you nearly ended up in a titan’s mouth on a mission. It had you gripped tightly in its hand, completely helpless to it in your human form. You were about to transform when Levi swooped in and sliced its nape.

He helped you to your feet once the titan hit the ground and scolded you for your carelessness. You just stared back at him once he was quiet again. And he stared back at you. For a bit too long.

That night, you ended up in his office again and performed a teary-eyed confession about your feelings for him. It was in those moments that you discovered you didn’t care about the mission anymore.

You’re thrown into another memory.

This one was so intimate. So special. You never wanted to forget it.

“I’ve never,” Levi pants underneath you, “done something like this before.”

You’re straddling his thighs, tracing circles into his abs with your fingers.

“That’s ok, I’ll guide you,” you whisper.

Candlelight glows off of both of your naked bodies in Levi’s dimly lit bedroom. A surprise make out session led to Levi being curious, and the both of you taking all your clothes off in a rush and throwing each other onto the bed in desperation.

You move your hand from his stomach to his erection. Levi lets in a nervous breath once you make contact.

“Hey, you’re gonna do great,” you say sweetly, “you still wanna do this, right?”

“Yes, I do. Just nervous I’m not gonna… do it right.”

It was ironic to see humanity’s strongest so nervous about what was between your legs.

You shush him quietly as you move your lips down to his tip, slowly taking his length into your mouth. You drag your lips up and down as he lets out tiny grunts and bucks his hips up slightly to meet you.

Once he’s warmed up to your touch, you scoot up over his legs until you’re almost straddling his length.

You look up at him to see his eyes wandering over your bare body, lingering in your more intimate spots.

“You’re really beautiful. I’m not sure if I’ve ever told you that,” Levi murmurs as he moves a hand up to glide over the side of your waist.

“You too,” you smile at him. “Are you ready?”

He nods.

You lift yourself up gently before easing him into you. The perfect sensation of him pressuring your walls made your breath hitch. You feel him let out a huff of air once he's fully inside.

You start to rock your hips up and down rhythmically as you lean forward to place your hands on his collarbones. He gently thrusts back to meet your hips. His mouth was parted, his face was flushed and sweaty. He grips the sheets in his hands as you continue riding him.

Everything felt so warm and wet. So gentle and passionate.

Both of you let out little whines as you speed up.

"How can I," he moans, "make you... finish."

You grab his hand from the sheets and move his finger to your clit, pleasuring yourself with it for a moment.

"Just like that," you whisper. "You're doing so good."

The two of you continue rutting against each other on the bed - two wet, tingly, whiney, pleasure-filled messes.

All of it felt so right. It was honest.

The memory gradually crumbles in front of you, plunging you back into the darkness.

It wasn’t the intimacy, the long talks, or the sex. It was none of that.

It was the fact that he was a brave and honest thing in your world full of lies. It made you fall for him.

Levi made you rethink your entire role in this war. What right did you have to come and destroy people’s lives? These people were innocent for all you knew. They were the victims. But they had spirit, guts, and passion that no one on Marley did. You related to them. You loved them.

So whose side did you really belong on?

And why were you being shown these memories?

And what was this bloodcurdling noise suddenly ringing in your ears?

It sounded like… your screams.

You finally enter reality again with a gasp, coughing up leftover fluid in your lungs from your titan form. You look down frantically at your body to see all of your limbs severed. Someone had cut you out of your titan form.

The culprit was crouched right in front of you.

Levi.

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Hi guys! I've been sitting on this fic for awhile, unsure if I wanted to post it or not - I sort of wasn't confident abt it. But I hope some of you like it! I will be coming out with another chapter soon. Also, if you left a request, I promise it will be up soon! Lots of love - Shep

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#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman smut #levi smut #aot x reader #aot smut #snk smut #levi imagine #levi ackerman fluff #levi fluff #levi aot #levi x y/n #snk levi #levi ackerman #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction #attack on titan

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fanmoose12 · 3 years

Text

Levihan Week 2021

Day two: Confessions

Summary: Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time.

"Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time."

It was an advice that Erwin once gave him, during one of the rare instances when the late Commander allowed himself to shrug off his heavy duty and act like a normal human.

Back then, Levi didn't understand the meaning of his words, didn't realize how this philosophical remark could be related to his question about “that red-haired lady that visited our barracks with Dawk today”.

But time went on, and the words refused to leave Levi's mind. Watching his fellow scouts, his friends and subordinates, he couldn't help but remember Erwin's wisdom.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

The more Levi thought about it, the more he started to believe that it was a universal truth. Blurt out the wrong thing to the wrong person or in the wrong time, and you create a misunderstanding, tension or even a conflict.

Blurt out the right thing to the right person but in the wrong time, and you can very well destroy the relationship that was so treasured.

Levi saw examples of this everywhere - drunken soldiers slurring the admission of their love to their equally drunken comrades, heavily injured soldiers whispering the words of love on the verge of death, forever breaking the heart of the subject of their affections, angry and tired soldiers screaming out those dangerous three little words in the moments of frustration and resentment.

Love made people stupid, it made people reckless. It was dangerous and unwelcome in their line of work. He couldn't allow his heart to grow attached to someone else, couldn't let his eyes wander in the search of them during battles, couldn't let someone else's voice and laugh distract him from his duties.

Levi scoffed at the soldiers who waxed poetic about love, he rolled his eyes at the displays of affection, he pitied the fools who dedicated their hearts not to the indestructible idea of humanity and its future, but to a single, mortal person.

And then, out of nowhere, in the midst of battles, losses and rare moments of peace, he himself became that very same fool. During battles, his eyes searched for the shrieking idiot, his heartbeat slowing down only after he saw them alive and well. During late evenings and sleepless nights, he sat in the stuffy, dusty laboratory, listening to unending ramblings about titans, the outside world and the hopes of bright future.

He was more focused with them by his side. He slept better when they were curled up around him. Even his food was more delicious when they shared it with him, shamelessly stealing bits of his dinner.

It wasn't love, Levi had tried to assure himself. Love was dangerous and stupid, love was making people weak. But this— this bond, this comradery, this friendship, it wasn't making him weak. It was making him stronger, it was making him fight even harder, to ensure that this hell would end with both of them still alive. This bond, it was making him feel so... happy.

Love made people do stupid things when their other half was injured or in danger. But Levi's person, they were strong. Almost as skilled as was he, and twice as smart.

On the battlefield, they were quick and graceful, invisible, they did not make him worried. Whatever danger they were facing, they always managed to defeat it.

But then, then Kenny came back into his life and then they went after him straight into that fucking cave, and Levi's heart had stopped, it almost crushed when he heard their scream and saw them fall.

And blood, there was so much blood on their shirt, in front of his eyes. And that's when Levi realized - he became attached, he fell in love.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

It was the first time he remembered these words in a very long time. He thought he would never need this advice. But that night, when they returned from that cave, when Levi stayed by their side, watching them hiss and wince as doctors bandaged their injured shoulder, he almost blurted it all out. Scared out of his mind, he wanted to grab their face and scream at them how he almost lost his shit during the fight, how even the thought of losing them was making him absolutely terrified. He wanted to press their forehead against his and whisper, so quietly than only two of them would hear, how much he loved them.

But they had a battle waiting for them first thing in the morning. Both of them were exhausted, both of them had too much on their minds. It wasn't the right time and it wasn’t the right place.

So he simply gripped their healthy hand and said, "You looked like a fucking amateur back there, four-eyes. Try to focus next time, alright?"

The answering laughter was quiet, but cheerful. It mended Levi's heart.

Then there was Shiganshina, and Levi's previous fears started to look like an overreaction. He thought he was afraid before, he thought he was close to losing them before, but last time, he could at least see them twitch and groan out in pain, he was somewhat comforted by the knowledge that there were people looking over them.

But now, now, there was no one. There was an explosion, a big, thundering explosion, and after it, there was nothing, nothing at all.

And Levi— Levi couldn't go there and check if someone was still alive. He couldn't even stop and make sense of what he was feeling. Everything was moving too quickly, and he could only follow that swift flow, trying his best not to get drown in it.

And, as he continued moving, never faltering, his eyes were wet - with sweat, with blood, with tears - Levi couldn't spare a second to wipe all of it. He could only continue marching forward.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

It wasn't the right place, certainly not the right time, but his desperate, relieved "Hange!" could probably count as a confession. It certainly disclosed the feelings that otherwise he would never let out.

But the current kept moving forward, and both of them were struggling to keep their head afloat. There was no time for words of love, no time for being stupid and reckless.

After the utter disaster that was Shiganshina, they returned home, and the place was right, but the time wasn't, as both of them were still dealing with the losses they've endured. Dumping even more revelations onto them seemed unwise, cruel even, so Levi stayed silent, remained at their side, loyal and faithful.

When they finally arrived at the sea, it seemed like the place was right, and the time was right. And as Hange dragged him from one end of the beach to the other, shoving seashell after seashell into his face, Levi even prepared a romantic, touching speech, the kind of soft confession that his love deserved. Something along the lines, "you're more precious than the sea in front of me".

But that peaceful day was over before he could master the courage to let the truth out in the open.

And after that, after that, the time and the place were never quite right. He could not confess in the midst of thousands official meetings, strategy planning and war councils. He couldn't confess when they had to meet with the Marley volunteers, he couldn't confess when they went to explore Marley itself.

He couldn't confess before they went to retrieve Eren's stupid ass. Although, he wanted to, desperately so. But when he grabbed their shoulder before they boarded the airship, he could only tell them, "Don't die. I'd hate to be in charge of this circus."

He didn't know if his true meaning was clear enough, if his voice was tight enough to translate his curt words into their intended point.

Don't leave me alone. I don't know if I can do this without you.

It only went downhill from that. He had no time to speak with them after they came home, he had no time before he went to the forest with Zeke, the place and the time just weren't right.

When Zeke had escaped, when the explosion had almost killed him, Levi thought that he had lost his chance. He had hesitated for too long, and the moment was lost forever. But the explosion didn't kill him, Hange saved him.

And this time, the place was right, it was perfect, a quiet, dark forest where nothing and no one could get to them.

Maybe, the two of us just should live here together. Right, Levi?

He wanted to say yes, wanted to scream "let's leave this fucking hell behind and grow old together". He wanted bury his face in their neck and whisper "I love you, more than anything".

But he didn't.

The place was right, but the time wasn't.

The place, the time, they were never right.

After they got out of the forest, things were spending up and up, leaving Levi behind and unable to catch up. He was always at the back, watching but not doing anything, too weak to even talk. And they were at the front, leading everyone towards their noble goal.

As he watched them move forward, leaving him to fight the Yeagerists, discussing plans with their allies, as he watched them slip through his fingers like a morning fog, those words were at the tip of his tongue, ready to spill out.

But Hange never stopped, they had no time to hear him out.

And then, Hange finally stopped. Then they decided to become the one that was going to be left behind. And in the process, they left behind Levi.

He thought about it so much, for so long, he was carrying these feelings for almost a decade. But he never figured out just what words to use to explain the matters of his heart.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

He was so focused on these words that he forgot about the most important thing. Confession had to be done right as well. But he had no time to ponder and search his mind for the fitting words. He had no time, Hange had no time, and in that last moment, when his heart was breaking and his mind kept chanting "please, don't leave me, not you, please, not you", the only thing he could get out was, "Dedicate your heart."

The confession was clumsy, too roundabout, but his feelings probably were clear enough. He hoped so, at least.

Before they went, before they left him alone, Levi wanted them to know, wanted them to remember just how loved they were.

As he sat in that plane, his mind going crazy with grief, he remembered the words spoken to him in the middle of the night, by a man who refused to feel the pain of loss, who shut himself away from affection and love.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

Perhaps, Erwin was wrong in that regard, Levi realized. Perhaps, there was no such thing as right place and right time. There could only be right person.

And Levi had just lost his.

#something-something about #hesitate and you'll miss your timing #also! almost no dialogues in this one i'm kinda proud of myself #lhw2021 #levihanweek2021 #levihan

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marsbutterfly · 3 years

Note

Hey ! How are you ? Can I request an imagine for Hanji x f!reader where they both get reincarnated in modern time ? They both died side by side during the rubbling and when they get reincarnated they both have memories of their past life (they were already lovers). Reader thought she was never going to see her girlfriend again but one day she finds her by chance.

Take care and have a nice day !

Note: Thank you so much for requesting this. I had fun writing it and the prompt was *chefs kiss* so I really hope you like it.

In Another Life

Summary: Reincarnation is the doctrine or belief that the soul reappears after death in another and different bodily form.

Wattpad Version! | AO3 Version! |◁ II ▷|

Cold sweat drips down your face as you bolt awake, digging your nails into the bedsheets. The same nightmare has been waking you up in the middle of the night since you were a child.

In your dream, you are a soldier who battles to save humanity in the fight against titans. Somehow, you always manage to kill the gigantic beings and return safely to the world inside the walls.

Always by your side is a brown-haired woman with glasses, her left eye is missing in most of the dreams. In all honesty, you have never seen anyone so beautiful before and, somehow, you remember her name.

Hanji Zoe.

One day, you stood by her side as the world you’ve once known was being left behind, turned into dust. She held your face in her hands as tears streamed down her cheeks, the feeling of her lips against yours is vivid and you can even smell the apple she had earlier.

The scream of your comrades echoes through the plane and into your brain but all you can focus on is the image of Hanji’s body catching on fire as the same flames burn down your back.

She hits the ground seconds before you do and somehow you manage to land by her side, hand touching hand as her lifeless body begins to cool down. You don’t have much time to think before a titan’s massive foot squishes your bodies at the exact same time.

That’s usually when you wake up, when your lungs and heart explode inside your chest due to the pressure of the step. When every blood vessel in your body gives in to the pressure and bursts inside you.

You grab your phone, only to realize your alarm was about to go off anyway. So instead of trying to go back to sleep, you simply push the covers aside and begin to drag yourself to the bathroom in hopes of getting your day started.

Not every dream you have is a nightmare. Some of them are about a life you don’t remember living: The combination of joy and fear after joining the Survey Corps, the warmth of Hanji’s naked body against yours, the delicious smell of freshly made apple pie coming from the kitchen in the middle of the night.

At nights where you don’t dream about that life, you miss it. You miss being around your friends, being able to move around the trees as if you were flying, you miss her. Her deep, brown eyes are all you can think about and time slips away from you.

Once your morning routine is completed, you decide to go for a run in the park behind your house. Since the sun has been out for less than an hour, it shouldn’t be too busy and you’ll be able to enjoy some quiet time.

As the armband slides up your skin, a chilling sensation travels down your spine and nearly every particle of hair in your body rises, even though you can’t understand why. So you simply shake your head and push the feeling down.

Carefully, you select your favorite playlist and check to make sure your laces are tied but before you can actually look, your phone rings loudly in your ear nearly giving you a heart attack.

Without a second thought, you decline the call without even checking to see who it is and you make your way outside.

The cold breeze welcomes you and the sweet smell of the food cart in front of your house hits your nose. Usually after a run, you reward yourself with one of their delicious crepes and that is enough motivation for you to finish your jog.

At this time, the park is the most peaceful place in the city. No crying babies in their strollers or loud business men walking around on their phone, there is only you and maybe three more people.

Your favorite song comes on and you feel the energy pumping through your veins with every beat. It’s the perfect weather for a run and you silently enjoy the calm that washes over your body.

Your mind wanders back to your nightmares and you start to remember the better part of it. The times Hanji would take you to a secret picnic after she became commander or the makeout sessions in the janitors closet.

In some ways, you could even feel her warm skin against yours, her kiss-swollen lips attached to you by a string of saliva. It nearly feels as if you had lived throughout all of it, but it couldn’t be possible.

You’re so deep into your thoughts that you don’t notice the stick on the floor and, when you do, it’s too late and you’re already halfway towards the ground so all you can do is protect your face from the concrete.

The impact itself isn’t too painful but the humiliation is what stings the most. If only you hadn’t gotten that call before leaving your house, you would’ve remembered to tie your shoelaces and therefore they wouldn’t have gotten stuck on the stick on the floor.

This isn’t the first time the woman in your dreams has caused you trouble. In a few of your memories, she would make too much noise when you sneak out and the Commander would eventually catch you.

Ever since you were young and these dreams first started, you’ve been going to a therapist after the other in hopes of understanding what all of this means and why is it happening to you but all came to the same result: inconclusive.

No matter how many doctors you see, no one can understand why you have such vivid dreams about a war nobody has ever heard anything about or creatures that have never once been proven to exist.

With your ass on the ground, you notice you used the word “memories” instead of dreams and for a second you feel as if all air has been sucked out of your lungs by a massive vacuum.

You shake your head, pushing those feelings deep down inside of you and getting on your knee, preparing to tie your laces when a familiar perfume rushes by you.

It’s faint and quick, probably carried by the wind but enough for you to snap your head backwards. A comforting feeling settles in your chest, warm and fuzzy if you could describe it. That’s exactly how the woman from your dreams smelled like.

You notice a brunette in a bright yellow sports bra turning around a bush not too far away, but you can’t see if she’s wearing glasses or if she only has one eye, like Hanji did.

“Y/N don’t be ridiculous!” You say to yourself, standing up and brushing away the dirt from your clothes, “Hanji is not a real person, she’s like an imaginary friend.”

Forgetting all about your fall, you decide to resume your run. The pain in your foot forces you to go a bit slower than you are used to but nothing too serious.

Once you are done running your laps around the park and begin to make your way back home, a few drops of rain begin to fall on your skin, forcing you to rush home.

As you are eagerly awaiting for the crepe you’ve been dreaming about for hours, the owner of the small cart has a sad expression on his face.

“I’m fresh out of batter. My husband just went to grab some more, it should take a little longer than 45 minutes, I am so sorry Y/N.” He says and you sigh, a compassionate smile on your lips and you nod.

“You will save me the first one you make when he’s back right?” You ask and the man eagerly nods.

“Of course. With banana, strawberry and chocolate, right?”

And you laugh, knowing that the only reason why he knows your order so well is because his crepes have been your breakfast each morning since you first moved into this apartment.

Once you are done with the conversation, you rush up the stairs and immediately into the shower. With a washcloth you gently brush the dirt out of your bruised knee, quietly hissing as the burning sensation takes over.

Even though you know you aren’t supposed to do so, you pour hydrogen peroxide on top of the wound and a scream leaves your throat at every step of the way.

“Today really isn’t my day.” You say to yourself as you begin to wash your hair. A few specs of dirt fall to the ground and a prolonged sigh escapes your lips. Everything just seems to be going wrong: rain, no crepe, fell during a run, what’s next? Waiting in line at the coffee shop for over an hour?

As you stand in line, you realize you should have kept your mouth shut. Even though you ordered online, the amount of people surrounding the pick up area was beyond ridiculous and you were definitely getting late for work.

Once your turn finally comes, you thank silently in hopes that you will be able to actually make it in time. So with your chest out and happiness on your face, you loudly say over the many other voices, “Order for Y/N!”

The guy behind the counter looks confused as he checks every cup individually and you watch over him as he does so. He shoots you a sadden and a little annoyed look and you realize that the “Order” button never got pushed.

Your eyes fill with tears of frustration but you brush them away and take your phone out, repeating your online order to the barista on the register and they write it down perfectly.

Your eyes are glued to your phone’s screen while you wait for a message from your boss but the same comforting sensation you felt this morning is back again. Maybe it’s the smell of coffee that reminded you of the trips to Marley or the crowds of different people around, much like eldians and marleyans.

“I have to get this shit out of my brain.” You say, shaking your head and focusing on typing out a message to your friend, complaining and hoping that you won’t get fired today. You worked too hard to get this job and if they let you go over some 20 minute wait, you’ll raise hell on Earth.

“Order for Y/N?” A familiar voice says but you can’t identify from where.

So you walk to the counter, finally putting your phone away and counting the coffees. Your eyes land on the barista’s hand, who carries your regular order. You reach for it and in a split of a second, your hands touch.

The world around you seems to stop and so does your breathing. When you look at her, you realize she is the part of you that has been missing all along. She’s a real person and not a dream. You look at her nametag, just making sure you aren’t going insane and there it is. “Hanji Zoe”

In that minimal touch, you are bombarded by the emotions of a lifetime ago. The first day you met, the first titan experiment you had done together, the first kiss, the first time you’ve had to kill a titan because she would always get too damn close to being eaten alive.

But you are also reminded of the last meal you both ate, the last nose rub, the last time her lips touched yours, the last hand holding, the last breath you both took before you woke up where you are now.

And just like that, feelings you didn’t know were possible for you to have emerged from deep within your chest as if a box that has been sitting deep inside the closet has now just been opened. It even seems like the world has just gotten a bit more colorful.

Tears shine in your eyes as the coffee you just waited so long for hits the ground. With a smile on your face, you wrap your arms around her neck and pull her over the counter. It doesn’t take her more than a second to seal your lips together.

Her breath tastes like the hot chocolate she had earlier that day but it still manages to awaken butterflies that laid dormant in your stomach throughout your entire life. It’s not until your phone rings in your pocket that you are brought back to reality.

“I’m so late for work!” You smile at her and rush out of the store, the container with the other cups in your left hand.

“Wait!!” A voice screams from just outside the coffee shop and you immediately turn around to see Hanji, her hat in her hand as she comes closer to you. “I knew something was missing my entire life and….”

“And now I realize it was you.” You two say in perfect unison and she nods.

“Why don’t we start over? This time, without any titans around.” She asks and you smile.

“Hey, I’m Y/N.” You say, extending your hand.

“I’m Hanji Zoe and I would love to take you on a date sometime.” Hanji meets you in the middle, shaking your hand.

“I really have to go.” You say and a frown appears on her face, you have to fight the will to quit your job and start a nice, little life in the woods with her. Something you’ve always talked about but sadly never got to have.

“I’ll wait for you right here then.” She says, letting go of your hand slowly and you immediately touch the back of her head and bring her in for a long kiss while still managing to keep the cups in your hand still.

This time it was not a goodbye kiss. It was simply the second first kiss you’ve ever had with Hanji and hopefully, it will not be the last.

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bubbleteaimagines · 3 years

Note

Hello! Can you do an angst Warhammer/Tybur Reader x Porco? Maybe they met once during Titan training before and became close, to eventually lovers, and then the declaration of war happens and- well- you know- Thank you! Your writings are always so good so i cant help but keep requesting! ♡

Declaration of War

Porco Galliard Oneshot

Summary: You never wanted a war. You only wanted a happyily ever after. But what choice did you have when the universe was against you?

Pairings: Porco Galliard x Warhammer!Reader

Warnings: Just pure angst, mentions of blood drinking (You know, that scene)

Authors Note: Wow I- you woke up and chose violence with this one nonnie 😭 But anyways thank you for requesting! You’re so sweet 💞

You don’t remember much of your childhood, but you do remember the exact day your were adopted into the Tybur family. It was when you were around three, living half a world away when all of sudden, you were swept into the royal lifestyle.

Honestly, you’re still not sure what made them pick you. I mean, according to your father you weren’t even from Marley. But you were an Eldian, so when the time came it was you that was chosen to inherit the warhammer titan.

When your father first announced this, a lot of criticism was thrown your way. After all, you, someone who wasn’t even apart of the bloodline, inheriting possibly the strongest titan there was? Impossible.

There was an outrage, people came banging on your father’s door demanding why this decision had been made. Why not Laura? Why not someone that was his actual offspring?

Why you?

That question had been bottled up in your ever since you found out. Why did it have to be you, someone that was simply given the Tybur name? Why was it you that had to shoulder this? Why was it your burden to carry.

You didn’t ask for this. But yet- everyone acted like it was a great honor to receive a titan. The people of Marley even rewarded those who sacrificed themselves to become warriors.

Honestly, when you first heard about that, it took all you had not to gasp in horror.

Growing up as royalty, you had been somewhat shielded from the cruelty of how others treated Eldians. No one ever dared to speak against you, never dared to spit at you or curse you out, but you could still see the disgust in their eyes that they tried so hard to mask.

You were different. And now you were powerful. People didn’t like that.

On your first ever visit to Marley, the beginning of the end, you could sense the hostility from outsiders, and even from your own kind.

It was sickening really, how people bowed to your feet yet tormented so many people like were just like you. You didn’t understand at first- you knew the history of Eldian suppression, but why, why were all of you dragged into this? What had you ever done to deserve the harassment, the isolation, the punishment?

It was sick how people looked down on Eldians like you were the scum of the earth. Even other Eldians talked about this Island filled with their kin in disgust, claiming that they were devils.

It was sick how people were fed lies and forced to suppress themselves and the people like them. It was sick, and it made you even angerier that you couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

No, the only thing you could do was smile and occasionally talk with officials when they asked you something, faking a laugh at whatever they said and then going back to being in your fathers shadow.

You hated it, honestly, and you hated everything about Marley until you met him.

Meeting Porco Galliard had not been an accident, but it took you by surpise nevertheless. While stationed in Marley to discuss the War, he was assigned as your official bodyguard.

Inheriter of the Jaw Titan, as you had learned. Cocky, arrogant, and a smug bastard as you had learned.

Truthfully, you both hated each other when you first met. Or more like you couldn’t stand him, but he was forced to endure your hostility and only respond with equal coldness.

Being together almost 24/7 had been an absolute nightmare. He was like a shadow, always lingering in the background, telling you how you could do this or that. He made sure to irk your nerves in every way possible.

A small smirk could always be seen whenever you were frustrated, letting out groans everytime you forced to let him accompany you with something.

You wanted to go the shore and relax alone while watching the sunset? Too bad- you were instead forced to scowl at Porco’s back as he lead you there. You wanted to take a peaceful bath and unwind after a long day of talking politics? Porco would be right outside your door, interrupting every five seconds and asking when you were gonna be finished.

It was terrible. He was terrible. Which was why you were so shocked when you found yourself falling in love with him.

Honestly- you’re not sure how or when. When did you start to look at him differently? When did you start to recognize the man under that annoying mask, the one that was hidden from the rest of the world? When did you start to notice the cracks in his facade?

Truthfully, it came gradually. A civil conversation here, another conversation there, and suddenly, you were telling your bodyguard all about yourself and your home, discussing your titans in the late hours when neither of you could sleep, and arguing about who was stronger.

The cracks appeared slowly. And so did the cracks in your mask. You don’t know when it started, but you did know that it was destined to end.

The minute you began to feel butterflies whenever you were around Porco - taking late night trips to the shore and talking about your pasta or dragging him out to the market to find your favorite flowers - you knew that you were destined for doom.

He knew it, too. Whatever blossomed betweened you two during the months of stay in Marley was sure to never last, but you both kept clinging anyways.

You clinged to the moments you got alone, free to lay in Porco’s arms while he whispered stories of his childhood. You clinged to the memories of your first kiss, the first time you ever snuck out together, and mischief you two would reek during the daytime when he’d chase you through the streets.

You cherished it all. Every moment, every memory. And you had a good reason to- because you knew it wouldn’t last.

Life had a funny way of separating what wasn’t meant to be.

First, it was having to finally leave Marley and go back home- Without Porco.

You were heartbroken when you heard the news- your father no longer had business there and so it was time to leave. Time to leave behind Porco and your fantasy of love.

When you came to him one night, crying and breaking the news, Porco had held you and promised that you’d survive this. No matter the distance, he promised that he’d write as much as he could so long as you promised the same.

You both were determined to keep your love afloat. But it was all futile, in the end.

After the separation came responsibilities, duties that both you and Porco had to uphold. For him, it was his duty as a warrior. For you, it was your duty as a royal.

The letters you exchanged were frequent in the beginning. You’d hear from him every week, reading his words in the candlelight once everyone else was asleep. Smiling as you scribbled one back, reminding him of your love and your promise to return to him one day.

It was always so easy in the beginning.

But slowly, life took over. The letters between you two began to expand to two weeks, then three, and then- you’d both be lucky if you heard from the other in a month.

You hadn’t it to be this way. But after the responsibilities, came the war.

Dread filled your every fiber as you were told that Marley had declared war on a neighboring nation. All soldiers were required to fight- all warriors had no choice but to be on the front lines.

This included Porco, and you and fell to you knees sobbing when you had received what very well could have been your last letter from him.

In it, he informed you of the dreadful news and told you that the Jaw Titan’s abilities were required. He didn’t have a choice, but he was glad that at least you hadn’t been called fight. He then went on to make his promises- the first that he’d stay safe and the second that he’d return to you.

He promised that the two of you would be reunited again- but little did either of you know, he’d be right.

Your time in Marley wouldn’t be last time you’d see Porco again. Unfortunately though, when you met again, it would be his.

After three years you would think something would change. Maybe your feelings towards him, but you found that it was quite the opposite.

The longer that he was gone, the more you yearned for him. You did everything you could to keep yourself from going insane, reminding yourself constantly that he was alive and doing great.

You purchased every newspaper you could as soon as they came out, if only the read about him. The Jaw Titan has been nothing short of a war hero during battles. You could see his pictures, read the words that were praising him but none of that ever mattered.

Everytime you picked up a paper, the only thing your eyes cared about was seeing him alive. And so long as he was, you could breath until the next issue came out.

With you keeping up with Porco constantly, it was no surprise that you were one of the first to hear that the war was ending.

Marley had won, and the warrior casualties were at zero. Porco had made it out alive. Just like he promised.

The minute you had found out you weeped harder than you ever had before. Even more so than when you found out he was going to war.

You couldn’t help it- you were eso relived. And when that first letter came to you after three years, asking if you stilled carried love for him or if you had forgotten him, Porco got a response the next day that made him smile wider than he had in three years.

You were coming back to Marley. Your entire family- but mainly because of your father. Whatever the circumstances, neither of you cared. All that mattered was the moment you were reunited again, sneaking back to your spot on the shore where you spotted him already waiting for you.

“Porco!”

You voice was loud, but at the moment you didn’t care who heard you. All you cared about was running to be in arms again, and when he stood up, a welcoming smile on his face as he caught you, you felt like you were home once again.

“Y/N...” Porco buried himself in the crook of your neck and gave you a watery grin, holding you tight. “You...you made it. Y-You’re here.”

“I promised, didn’t I?” You chuckled tearfully, before leaning in and giving him the kiss you had been waiting three years for.

That night, you felt invincible as you laid with Porco, wrapped up in his arms as you laid by the ocean. The peace you felt was unlike anything you had felt in years. And when you heard him confess that night, after making love to you by the water, you thought that nothing could ever get better than this.

And you were right.

If you had known, if he had known that in a few short hours that everything would change, then maybe, just maybe, you would have done something different.

Maybe Porco would have held you a little longer before breaking away that morning. Maybe you would have begged him to stay, knowing it would be your last night together. Maybe...you both would have run away together, to a world that was more peaceful than your own.

If only you had known.

But instead, you bid goodbye to each other like it wasn’t going to be your last. Instead you carried on your day like nothing could go wrong, getting ready for the ceremony that night.

Your father had told you he was doing it to expose the truth about Eldians. He said he would unite the world against Paradis. Whatever that meant, you could tell that there was something lingering in his eyes as he kissed you goodbye that night.

There was something...somber about the atmosphere. Despite your cheerful younger siblings, the warm smile of your sister and she embraced and promised that your father would return shortly.

Something was wrong. You saw it in his eyes. But as the story goes, you recognized what it was too little, too late. By the time the ceremony began to evening, you were as ignorant as the rest of them.

Standing back stage, naively thinking your father would come back and hug you shortly, exclaiming about how well it went.

Thinking that you’d get one last chance to be in Porco’s arms again that night.

You were naive. Not prepared for anything. Never have being trained to the use titan you possessed. Always sitting back, always being cautious. You were never once allowed to use your powers. Not in the war, to sharpen them, not to train you. If was dormant inside of you, so much so that you might as well hadn’t had it at all.

And it costed you your life.

The rumbling, you noted, was when it first started. The ground beneath you was shaking like there an earthquake. And then, there was a flash of yellow light and everything you had ever know was gone.

You screamed as the floor beneath your feet was ripped up, a roar of anger coming from the very person your father had started talking about.

Eren Jaeger.

He appeared like it was magic, his ginormous titan emerging from underground. He let out a scream as he dove right for his target - or was that you? - your father.

The man that had given you everything was devoured right in front of you. A titan- no why was there a titan here? They didn’t exist in these parts. You had never seen- oh god. Why couldn’t you get your thoughts together?

“Y/N?” A panicked cry from your mother snapped you out of your shock, a feeling of terror beginning to sink in as you realized what had just happened. “You need to- you need to transform, sweetheart!”

“But-!” You wanted to say you didn’t know how. But you did. It was the one thing you were taught. The one thing you were prepared for. You thought it had been odd, three days ago, when your father suddenly told you. When he explained that a drop of blood was all that was needed to activate the warhammer.

You thought it was strange. But now...now you realized what he was preparing you for. His death.

“Go!” Your mother screamed as she held your crying siblings, trying to protect them from the chaos that had already occurred. “Protect us well! Avenge your father!”

“I will,” You don’t even remember hearing the words, as everything after that pretty much went black.

The only thing you were thinking of as you harshly bit your hand, your heart pounding in your chest, was eliminating the enemy that had killed your father.

Eren Jaeger stood before you, no less shocked than everybody else was. He stilled from his position, lips curling into a snarl as he stared at your white, armored body.

So it was you.

He had been aiming for you father, your sister Laura next. But really, the warhammer titan had been passed down to you, someone not even part of the bloodline.

What a twist in fate.

Eren angled his body towards you and you feel the heat of his breath as he roared. He was prepared for this. He had planned this attack. He had planned to kill you.

The minute that Porco realized this, he was panicking. He and Pieck had been trapped for a reason. They must have known- the enemy wanted to eliminate any possible threats.

“Pieck! We have to get out of here!” He yelled fiercely, banging on the Well walls.

“Porco- relax. Someone’s coming for us,” She reassured him, but Porco wasn’t calming down.

His first thought when he was pulled out was to go straight to you. You were the only thing on his mind. He had to get to you, but somehow Pieck convinced him to wait.

You would handle this on your own, she told him. You had this.

Porco wished he hadn’t believed her. He wished that he just scoffed and ran off away, instead of listening and waiting for a miracle.

You weren’t trained for this. While powerful, you had no idea how to do much beyond what your instincts told you. Maybe if he would have realized that, maybe if he had just listened to his gut, he wouldn’t have been watching the love of his life about to be devoured.

“No!” Porco roared as he saw Eren holding your Crystal, your terrified face peaking out from the cracks. You were powerful, but you had been no match for Eren Jaeger. He was strong, and he figured out your weakness before you did.

Now, all that was left was to defend yourself. To preserve your body and hope that someone else could finish what you started.

A million thoughts were racing through your mind. A million different emotions, but most prominent was horror as you saw Porco leap to your rescue.

“No!” Is what you wanted to scream out as you saw him fighting the Attack Titan. ‘Turn around, get away’ is what you wanted to say when he made a grab for you, only to miss and instead punctured the crystal.

You could see it as clear as day. Eren saw the way he managed to break through, too. And that was the moment- the moment you knew you were doomed.

A silent tear ran down your face as Porco went to attack again, only to be ambushed by one of the Eren’s allies and disabled.

He couldn’t move his legs, but he still made one last attempt for you- once last Hail Mary.

He extended his jaws, trying to at least capture your Crystal. But all that he was met with was Eren shoving it into his mouth, using his jaws to break open your crystal.

“No!” Porco yelled out in his head, pure agony seeping through his veins as he realized what was about to happen. As he realized that Eren Jaeger was using him to kill the one he loved.

He tried to get away. He tried to will his body to stop working.

He tried everything he could- but it wasn’t enough.

The crystal broke before either of you ever had time to say goodbye. There was a deafening noise, a flash a of pain, and then the last thing you ever saw in that world was the look on Porco’s face as Eren tossed him away, successfully drinking your blood.

#attack on titan #attack on titan imagine #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #porco galliard imagine #porco snk #porco aot #porco x reader #porco galliard x reader #porco galliard

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torilovestowrite · 3 years

Text

title: romance in struggle

pair: zeke yeager x reader

words: 3k+

content warning: n/sfw themes, ROYAL AU, ZEKE IS A KING HERE Y’ALL, READER IS A MARLEYAN PRINCESS, female-bodied reader/afab! reader, reader uses she/her pronouns, mentions of pregnancy, angst, mentions of blood, age difference (reader is 18 while zeke is 24) conservative mindset, mentions of blood, FORBIDDEN LOVE TROUPE, S/MUT, BREEDING KINK, CREAMPIE

synopsis: in which y/n l/n, a princess of the marleyan kingdom, ends up having an affair with zeke yeager— the kingdom’s traitor who caused a huge terror for nobles in marley.

“my little ymir, don’t you think it’s a lovely day today?” y/n rubbed blonde child’s back as both of them watched the sunrise under a huge oak tree after hanging some laundry in their backyard. “look how fresh the air is.”

“yes! but you know what’s prettier, mama?” ymir responded happily as she held her mother’s hand, placing a small yellow daffodil on her ear, almost like an accessory. “of course, it’s you!”

y/n looked sadly at her daughter— her eyes glimmered in the midst of the dawn; staring at her mother who had a brooding look in her eyes. all the young girl wants is to make her mother smile. even though she would let out soft giggles from her lips and smile few times ever since she was born, ymir could still see a glint of loneliness in her eyes.

“you have the prettiest eyes, ymir.” y/n kissed her forehead as she continued to mutter under her breath, “it’s just like his eyes.”

her daughter’s eyes beamed as she asked, “like father?”

y/n smiled at her young child. yes, she is only five— but she’s perceptive as ever. unlike other children, ymir was sensitive towards how others are feeling around her. seems that she got her mama’s personality, huh? but there are no doubts— that ymir, her daughter, is his’; for her long blonde hair and her deep grey eyes could speak in behalf of her.

“yes,” y/n almost cried before she could even mention him. just the sound of his name makes her guts feel uneasy. “just like your father.”

her eyes looked upon the sky as she recalled her memories— a bittersweet tragedy that took place five years ago; right before her little ymir was born.

“are you really going?” y/n asked the blond man as she held his wrist back in an attempt to stop him from leaving. her eyes gaze upon him— yearning for his affection; for his love— to make him admit that he would come back sooner.

zeke yeager— an untouchable man who’s willing to use all the means in order to achieve his goals. It’s almost like the eldian man— whose kingdom has been enslaved by the marleyans for almost 20 years; has no heart.

y/n l/n— the princess of the marleyan empire, has fallen in love with zeke yeager. she once met him while she ran away from the palace, getting lost in the middle of a dark prairie. being 18 during those days, the younger woman could still remember the cold stare that he held as she was crying in front of the lake after hearing her father’s decision. her clan wanted to marry her off to a man named willy tybur; another royalty— and to become one of his concubines in order to combine the powers of their clans— to sustain a supreme empire.

as she was having her laments, zeke caught y/n and spoke to her; and she found a friend in him with his words filled with sarcastic jokes— yet unbelievable truths. during her free time, she would come visit the forestries in order to share her feelings, laments... and he would entertain it. slowly, y/n began having feelings for the man, craving more than of his attention— but also, his affection; his kisses and hugs.

gladly, zeke felt the same. the two became a couple and secretly met during the night inside his tiny cabin filled with secrets. y/n could still recall the first time they kissed. it was her first, and she was glad that it was her first love for his lips felt warm on her. it was everything to a maiden like her— oh, how she wishes they could stay that way for the rest of her life! y/n loved the older male more than anything. she loved with a love that is stronger than love itself.

Little did she know, zeke spelled danger for the marleyans, as he was one of the last yeagers— the royal clan of eldia— who were killed and burned by her own clan. aside from that, the 24-year old man was deemed as a ruthless man for robbing from the marleyan nobles and even to the point of burning their lands, just like how they have dealt with eldia two decades ago.

but the young lady knows him well— zeke explained that he wouldn’t do those incidents simply for himself; but rather, he did it for his own people. the stolen goods that he was able to obtain were distributed among the poor eldians who were enslaved, starved, and abused by their marleyan lords who were only concerned with their own wealth and earthly riches. their desire for power made zeke disgusted. as a royalty who is in line to inherit the crown— if the marleyans did not kill his own family and abducted his brother, eren; he knows that power is needed to preserve sovereignty in a nation. but unlike them, zeke knows how to gain the respect of the people— and that is through giving back the services that they deserve.

“i need to leave. you know how the circumstances are for me right now, y/n.” zeke sighed as he kissed the young lady’s forehead— pulling her closer and kissing her tears away.

apparently, the romantic nights have ended for the couple— slapping them both of the harsh reality; that their clans are born to become enemies. and that they were born to be star-crossed lovers— only meant to meet; but not to end up together no matter how strong their feelings are.

“d-don’t do this to me, zeke. please. don’t leave me just like this.” y/n sobbed as she kneeled in front of zeke— begging him not to leave; gripping his hand tightly. her hands were shaking and her cries were getting louder. the older male did not want to see his little doll depressed over this. he helped her stand from the wooden floor of his cabin; giving her a kiss on the lips.

y/n felt like melting under his touch— his calloused hands which were much bigger than hers’ were warm; his lips and the way their tongue danced together felt warm too. the younger lady could feel his touch all over her body; as if the burning passion around their souls were bringing them together.

zeke lifted her from the ground, holding and carrying her towards the bed that was inside his room. the blond male wanted to leave a mark before he goes to an important mission— to find his brother, eren, and to start a war against the marleyans in order to free the eldian empire and to bring back the supremacy of the yeager clan.

he started slowly undressing y/n— their hands intertwined together as he bruised her body with his mouth; from her neck down to her belly. zeke was about to go feral at the sight of the young princess being completely submissive and compliant under his touch— it was a different kind of power to him; almost like an achievement.

“do you want me, y/n?” he asked as y/n helped in stripping him off his fabric— unbuttoning his polo and letting the clothing fall down from his torso. he placed his hands on her now naked thighs, positioning himself in the middle of her legs as he rubbed his erected member on her glistening bud. “do you want me to deflower you, my pretty lady?”

y/n pulled him closer, placing her hands on his back and feeling his touch as she responded, “yes, i would like to feel closer to you, zeke.”

and he sheathed his enraged member inside her moist insides— her walls tightly clenching around his member— causing her to claw on his back as she began to adjust according to his size. zeke could see a small trickle of blood coming out from her whole where his long rod of warmth rested. to make her more comfortable, he rubbed her tiny clit with his thumb, trying to soothe the pain that she was feeling.

as he started to do this, y/n felt herself get excited; her nipples began to stand erect— and as soon as zeke saw this, he didn’t miss the chance to put her right breast in his mouth— sucking her chest like a newborn infant.

“y-you can move now.” y/n gave him a peck on the lips as he started to move— causing the young woman to moan because of the friction between their bodies. they were sweating everywhere— but both of them care less; they wanted to be closer together— to live in the moment; fucking as if it’s their last time. i mean, who knows? knowing what could happen the next day, what if he actually disappears from her life forever?

his pacing began to become faster and his acts became even more merciless. his huge hands were gripping her jaw tightly as his thrusts were harsh— as if her insides were bruising. but the pain it gave her did not surpass the pleasure that she was feeling. his hands travelled down to her hips as he whispered to her ears as his breathing became erratic. “d-do you want me to breed you, my pretty woman? y-you want my seed, huh?”

y/n frantically nodded as he gripped her hips tightly, groaning loudly while he came inside her— totally filling her insides. as he was riding his orgasm, she began to call his name loudly, letting out her juices while clenching both of her fists on the bed sheet.

shortly after, y/n fell asleep beside him— and zeke had no choice but to look at her dearly. in his eyes, the young princess was the most beautiful woman. the blond man wished that one day, if he would be given the chance to meet her again, freedom would be granted upon them— the freedom to love and to choose the person you desire. yet he has no choice but to lament for there were shackles separating their beings no matter how much their hearts yearn from one another.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” zeke did not realize how a tear fell from his eye. “i’m sorry that this had to happen.”

y/n felt a strong slap on her cheek as her own father, the king of marleyans, stared at her in disgust. her mother was sobbing uncontrollably as she watched his daughter being tormented and judged by her own husband. the younger female just touched her cheek as a response to his anger.

“you ungrateful imbecile! i didn’t know you were whoring around while—“ the king held the temples of his head in frustration, feeling a strong pain as he scolded his daughter. “what have you done, y/n?! you have brought nothing but shame to the family!”

it’s been a month since the last time she saw zeke. after they spent the night together, y/n was left with a saddening letter— a letter of goodbye coming from the only man she loved. and she felt nothing— but only devastation for it was written:

dear my pretty y/n,

i just want you to know that i dearly love you and i treasure you so much. i believe that amongst all the women who have tried to reach out to me, you are the most memorable— for i have loved you greatly. i love you so much. but i’m afraid that i’ll have to drift apart from you because of our huge differences.

you are a marleyan while i’m an eldian. the grudge that our ancestors have casted upon each other is what separated us. but in my heart, you are always there.

i wish we weren’t suffering like this— that we were free enough to express our love.

your beloved,

zeke yeager

after that night, y/n faced the consequences of being attached to him— while alone, she cried intensely during the nights; yearning for her dear lover’s presence— to see him; to feel his touch, and to speak with him again.

a month later, there were changes in y/n’s body. she always felt sick and even gained a bit of weight even when trying to eat less. her father, the king, decided to let the palace doctors examine her body— only to find out that she was carrying a child. the news made her father furious— throwing expensive ornaments around the palace while shouting as his wife could do nothing but to weep and to calm him down.

y/n wasn’t even speaking. she just stood there— weeping; it’s not because of the pain of being slapped; but the pain of disappointing your parents hits different to her— because she was known as a goody-two-shoes; as someone who have always obeyed them. and it’s her first time letting them down.

“who is the father of that filthy child?!” her father asked while still blazing in anger. y/n touched her belly as she began to swallow before speaking nervously. her response earned her another slap from her father— but this time, it was stronger than the first one— obviously filled with an intense rage.

“the father of my child... is an eldian.”

that was the queue for her to leave the palace. after that night, y/n l/n’s name was erased from the list of the royal family members. her furious father wanted to kill her— but her dear mother begged for her life. as a result, she was exiled to a far away country where she lived alone and gave birth to her daughter, ymir. she was named ymir because zeke has always expressed his admiration towards his ancestor— an iconic woman for eldians; for she helped so much in developing and enhancing their empire.

ymir was a loud child who always cried loudly for her needs— but y/n still loved her dearly despite all the hardships and all the judgements she received for being an unmarried mother. with her daughter being born, y/n began to protect both of themselves from the society— avoiding any news about the eldia and marleyan war— which broke out few months after ymir was born. when y/n heard of this, a spark of hope came across her body— what if zeke came out alive? what if he managed to seize his land back and is still alive?

yet among all these years, there were nothing. nothing tried to reach out towards them— it has been always her and ymir; just the two of them. and so, the young woman, now at the age of 23, considered him dead. if he was alive, he would have been probably 29 by now— and if he managed to claim eldia once again, he would have been the king, right? then if that’s the case, he could have made an effort to find them. but nothing came up all these years. therefore, y/n concluded that zeke died during his mission at some point.

until she heard that name again. after hanging their laundry, y/n and ymir would go to the supermarket, buying all their food and essentials. the young mother heard of his name— zeke yeager; the older women were talking about him— the king who managed to retrieve the eldian empire and took over the whole country after claiming freedom from the marleyans. apparently, the economy of marley failed after that war; as they were isolated from creating trades outside of the country as a sanction for enslaving over millions of people. the sympathy fell upon the eldian race— a now free country loved by the people around the world; and the yeager clan was known as a marvelous family for protecting and freeing their own people.

“the king of eldia? zeke yeager? visiting a small country like ours? oh, how flattering!” the older woman chattered as she giggled at her friend while selling some freshly-ripe fruits in their stall. “i heard that he’s in search for a wife, right? my, my... only if i was a little younger!”

at first, y/n took the news lightly. it could be a hoax, right? also, despite this country being small, there’s a very small probability of them crossing paths. zeke won’t be able to find them, she thought— until she saw a huge carriage outside of their tiny home in the middle of grasslands. y/n peeked from their house’s small window to see a tall blonde man coming out of the huge vehicle. his shoulders were broad and he has a bit of facial hair. the young lady’s eyes widened as she saw who followed. he looked healthy compared to the last time they saw each other.

“z-zeke...” y/n cried as she looked at her 5-year-old child playing with her tiny dolls in the living room while sitting on top of the floor.

y/n’s cries became louder as the blond man knocked on the door— waited for their response; in which ymir opened the door. zeke’s eyes widened as he gazed upon ymir. the moment his eyes landed on the young girl, he knew— he knew that the 5-year-old girl was his daughter— a piece of his and y/n’s flesh and blood. zeke hugged the young child as he cried, “i-i finally found you...” ymir, the 5-year-old girl, was left confused and speechless— but the moment she saw her mother’s face, she realized who he was— zeke yeager, the last of the yeager clan— is her father.

few days after their small yet joyful reunification, y/n moved in along with zeke inside the eldian palace. as soon as the news spread like wildfire, the people were enraged that zeke have chosen a woman who was once a descendant of the enemy— but he loved her greatly. the whole five years that he has been fighting, y/n has left a whole in his heart— a huge hole that only her love and presence could heal. therefore, he couldn’t help himself but to find her no matter where it takes him— whether it takes him to the corners of this lonely and dangerous world or to the hands of the grim reaper.

think of it, romance and war struggles are both different— and when it is mixed, it could hurt people. but there’s nothing better than the feeling of having your loved ones by your side after years of battle scars, armed struggles, and bloodshed with enemies.

I ACTUALLY DID NOT PROOFREAD THE WHOLE STUFF AND I WAS KINDA SLEEPY WHILE WRITING IT OMSHSHSHS— anyway im having a zeke brainrot rn cuz why not.

also, maybe after this, i’ll make a reiner smau. what do u guys think ^___^

MASTERLIST 🖤

273 notes · View notes

pr1ncessm00n · 3 years

Text

for sale or wanted • jean kirstein x fem! reader

seven.

series masterlist

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warnings: cursing, some “friends” (tv show) references, hostility towards reiner >:( and some mentions of a disrespectful relationship. slight ass staring LOL. awkwardness. lots of it. thick tension geesh

*written chapter * THE DATES ARE WRONG. THIS TAKES PLACE IN JANUARY. I REPEAT THE DATES ON THE MESSAGES ARE WRONG I JUST REALIZED. 💔 Proceed.*

[ playlist - more than friends : real life animals ]

“Y/N!” Ymir yelled.

Flinching, Y/N turned to face Ymir, who’s arm was around Historia on the non-Porco couch. That’s what they had coined the couch they actually liked and fit with their theme. Ymir and Historia were currently on it, watching a rerun of Friends. Y/N was making a sandwich. Sasha was snoring loudly on the Porco couch.

“You don’t have to yell,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “What do you want?”

“When’s Kirstein comin’?” Ymir asked.

“I’m not sure,” Y/N responded. “He said around 4.”

“It’s 4:15.” Ymir retorted.

“Your point?” Y/N placed her hand on her hip, butterknife in her hand.

“He’s not coming.” Ymir said smugly. “Typical Kirstein.”

Historia sighed, exasperated. “Just shush Ymir. You haven’t seen Jean in years and you still act rude to him!”

Ymir cackled. “It’s just fun to work you guys up.”

Y/N turned back to making her sandwich. “It’s not like we’re on time for anything either.” She grumbled.

“Defending Kirstein?” Ymir scoffed. “Sounds like you got the hots for him.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Are you 12?” Y/N snapped. “The ‘hots’? Really? Who says that anymore?”

Ymir only cackled in response.

—

Jean clicked his phone off, leaning back in the passenger seat of Reiner’s car.

“Everything good?” Reiner asked.

“Yeah, just Connie and Sasha being aggravating as usual.” Jean explained. Reiner shook his head.

“So this couch, was it really worth it or did you just see a pretty girl and get too embarrassed to say no?” Reiner teased, smirking.

Jean rolled his eyes. “It’s not the best piece of furniture out there but I am, one, BROKE, and two, it was an easy buy.”

Reiner shrugged. “I don’t know, I saw your tweet.”

Jean blushed. “I just tweet my thoughts, we all know that by now.”

Reiner’s smirked deepened. “Not everyday you tweet about a pretty girl.”

It’s not everyday I meet one, Jean thought.

Jean shook his head, looking out the window. He tried to stretch but hit his arms against the truck’s roof. His legs were cramped as well.

“How do you even fit in here?” Jean asked, irritated by the tight fit.

Reiner shrugged. “I’d trade the inconvenience of no leg room for a big pickup bed anyday. It’s useful.”

“Nah, you probably just like to show off your massive truck bed and hope girls find that kinda thing cool.” Jean said.

Reiner laughed. “That too.”

“Has it worked?”

“Nope.” Reiner replied cheerily.

“Is that Becky G!” Jean exclaimed, suddenly hearing the faint sound of “Shower” playing through the truck’s speakers.

“Shit!” Reiner exclaimed, turning red. He quickly rushed to move his hand off the steering wheel and change the song off his phone. Jean continued laughing, the sight of Reiner’s red face, embarrassment clear, only fueling his laughing fit.

“Shut up,” Reiner growled. “It’s a good song.” The thought of the huge guy jamming out to Becky G almost sent him into another fit, but Jean strained to hold it in. The ride remained silent for a few minutes when Reiner spoke again.

“If you ever mention that to anyone, I’ll run you over.” He murmured. Jean chuckled and turned to face Reiner only to see he was being serious, staring intently back at Jean. Jean shut his mouth, nodding.

A few moments after, almost subconsciously, Reiner began to whistle the tune. Jean couldn’t resist the laugh that escaped his throat, earning a dirty look from Reiner.

—

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. “Coming!” Y/N called, taking her apron off and rushing to the door. She opened the door, smiling.

She was met with Reiner’s face.

“Reiner?” She asked, somewhat in disbelief.

“Y/N, put the butterknife down,” Reiner put his hands up, backing up a few steps.

“What-“ Y/N remembered the butterknife in her hands, clenched tightly now between her knuckles. “Oh, sorry.” She went to put it in the kitchen. “Come in!” She called behind her.

Reiner cautiously stepped inside the dorm, eyeing his surroundings.

“Braun.” Ymir greeted, nodding at him.

“Hey!” Historia waved cheerily. Reiner sheepishly greeted them back.

“Ymir, Historia. Good to see you all again.” He managed to get out awkwardly. He tilted his head curiously, looking at Sasha snoozing on the couch. He gestured to Sasha questioningly at Ymir.

Ymir waved her hand dismissively. “She’ll wake up, just give her a minute.” As if in response, Sasha mumbled in her sleep.

“Um,” he scratched the back of his neck. “Jean’s on a phone call, but he’ll be here soon.”

Jean was on the phone with his mother, who called at that exact moment and decided it was a good time to scold him about not calling for a week and a half. Jean was pacing on the sidewalk, his hand in his hair.

“Oh, okay.” Y/N replied. “Um, so how have you been?” The tension in the air was thick, but since neither Y/N or Reiner were confrontational they didn’t know how to address the mood.

“Good, good.” Reiner nodded. “And you?”

Y/N nodded back. “Good, too.”

The room grew silent.

“I’m sorry, but did someone die?” Ymir blurted.

“Ymir!” Historia gasped, slapping her arm. Ymir removed her hand around Historia and sat forward, opening her hands in a What? gesture.

“Well, it feels like a funeral in here!” Ymir said defensively. “Y/N’s over here glaring at Reiner like he’s an enemy of the state.”

“I am not!” Y/N semi-shouted, her voice shrill. Sasha sat up on the couch.

“Can y’all shut up?” She snapped.

“No!” Ymir and Y/N shouted at her. Sasha groaned, throwing her hand over her forehead and falling back on the couch.

“Look, Y/N,” Reiner started awkwardly. “I don’t mean any harm, and I know it’s weird after everything with Porco... but I just wanted to say that I don’t agree with anything he did. And I wouldn’t have just shown up here if I knew it was your place.”

Y/N uncrossed her arms, trying to fix the visible displeasure in her face. She could not hide her emotions if her life depended on it. There was a few beats of silence before Y/N finally spoke.

“Reiner, I don’t hate you,” She said begrudgingly. “It’s not that, it’s just… You knew what Porco did and said behind my back and you just never told me. I always felt like his friends agreed with him that I was crazy or something.”

“No! Not at all,” Reiner reassured her. “To be honest, I didn’t really know what was going on in his life. I haven’t talked to him much since I left Marley. All I knew was that he was dating you. He just told me you broke up and that’s when he finally told me everything he did. I’m so sorry.” Reiner rambled.

Y/N sighed. “I mean, I’m not going to blame you. It was between Porco and I. But I guess that makes me feel better, like you didn’t betray me.” She chuckled awkwardly.

“No, I’d never stand for the stuff Porco did.” Reiner said.

“Did he cheat?” Sasha whispered to Historia. Historia shushed Sasha, swatting her.

“So we’re good?” Reiner asked. Y/N nodded.

“Sorry for the hostility, I just never expected you to be here.” Y/N admitted.

“No, I get it. But I wish Jean would’ve at least given me a headsup you were Sasha’s room mate.” Reiner muttered.

There was a knock on the door then. “Come in!” Y/N shouted. Jean walked in, peeking his head around the corner to where Y/N was standing in the kitchen with Reiner.

“Hey!” Jean said. He waved at Historia and Ymir. “So I assume you met Reiner?”

“Actually,” Y/N chuckled nervously. “We’ve known each other.”

“Oh!” Jean replied, eyes widening. “Even better! So he’s gonna help me move this thing.” He patted the couch Sasha was snoring on.

Y/N nodded, a tight lipped smile.

“Kirstein,” Ymir called. Jean glanced at her. “Long time no see.”

“Oh yeah! How have you been?” He asked Ymir. “And nice to see you too, Historia.”

Historia waved.

“I’ve been pretty good,” Ymir responded. “But I see you’re still late to everything.”

Jean blushed a deep red, running a hand through his hair. “Oh, yeah, I’m sorry. I got a phone call I had to take.” He looked at the floor, embarrassed. Ymir simply grunted.

“So do you want to start moving it?” Jean asked Reiner.

Reiner nodded, walking over to the couch. The men stared down at Sasha’s sleeping figure, unfazed by the commotion. “Do we wake her?” Reiner questioned.

Jean sighed, shoving Sasha. “Hey. Wake up. Wake up. Wake upppp,” He shook the side or her body with his palm.

Sasha groaned. “I’m not ready to say goodbye.” she grumbled sleepily.

“You and Ymir literally bullied me to get rid of it,” Y/N scoffed.

“I had forgotten how comfy it was!” Sasha protested, turning to the opposite side. “Five more minutes.” Y/N scoffed.

“Do you guys want a sandwich while we wait for Sleeping Beauty?” Y/N offered, tilting her head towards the kitchen with the butterknife.

“More like sleeping ugly.” Ymir snorted.

Y/N and Jean made eye contact.

“You get used to it..” Y/N mouthed. Jean nodded, agreeing.

“I heard that!” Sasha exclaimed to Ymir. “Just for that, I’m gonna fart in your bed.”

Reiner turned a deep red. For someone who liked to listen to 2014 pop, he was pretty bashful.

“I’ll take one, if it’s not too much of a bother,” Jean raised a finger, inquiring.

“No problem! Follow me. And you, Reiner?” Y/N walked back to the kitchen, opening the fridge, Jean a few steps behind her.

“I’ll take one too then, thank you.” Reiner accepted. Y/N nodded, bending over into Jean’s line of sight almost unassumingly. Jean’s eyes widened, before looking the other way, a faint blush appearing on his features. He didn’t want to get caught ogling the girl on their second meeting, possibly giving the impression he was a creep. But damn, was it hard. He felt someone staring at him, and when he focused he realized it was Historia, who was holding back a giggle. He got even more flustered, looking away from her too.

“Any specifics? Mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup? We have pickles and a wide variety of condiments and lunch meats.” Y/N listed.

“Y/N,” Ymir scolded. “Those lunch meats are for the fancy guests!”

Y/N shot her a glare. “Ignore Ymir, she’s just grumpy because she hasn’t been fed her daily sacrifice of small children.” Jean laughed a little too hard while Reiner chuckled. It was hard for Jean to focus when she smelled so good and was at a certain angle.

“Um, lies,” Ymir replied nonchalantly. “Children eating is at 12, it’s 4. That’s the senior citizen buffet.”

“Har, har.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “So what do you guys want?”

“Anything is fine, really,” Jean said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Is ham and muenster cheese good?” Y/N asked, standing upright and grabbing the two containers.

“Monster cheese?” Reiner asked, puzzled.

“M-U-E-nster. It’s so good, try it!” Y/N began to assemble both boys their sandwiches. “I’m gonna give you the works! Lettuce, mayonnaise and tomatoes!”

“Is Y/N making sandwiches?” Sasha asked from the couch, eyes tightly shut.

“Yeah, but don’t get your hopes up. There’s no children flavor.” Ymir mocked.

Y/N flicked her off without turning back.

Sasha bolted off the couch. “Can you make me a sandwich, Y/N? Pleaseeee? Pretty please?” Sasha begged, appearing at Y/N’s side and slightly shoving Jean.

“Yeah, yeah. But I’m not cutting the pickles this time. That’s gross.”

Sasha hummed happily, going to the kitchen to hand Y/N her sandwich components.

“Why don’t you just make your own, Sasha?” Jean asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Because!” Sasha exclaimed defensively. “Y/N makes the best ones! They’re so good, and they aren’t lopsided and sloppy like Ymir’s.”

“You could always just starve.”Ymir suggested unhelpfully. She suddenly joined Historia in clapping her hands along to the Friends theme.

“But hello! Cheerio!” Ymir waved frantically to Jean and Reiner. “Don’t y’all got a couch to be moving?”

“Right,” Reiner agreed, walking over to the couch. “Jean, you take that side and we’ll lift it to my truck. Can someone open the door?”

“On it!” Sasha ran over to help.

Jean got on the other side of the couch, and on the count of three him and Reiner lifted it.

“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Ymir chided. “PIVOT! PIVOT!” she suddenly shrieked, causing Reiner to startle.

“Is she always like that?” He asked, wincing.

“Yes.” Everyone in the room agreed.

As Jean and Reiner moved the couch out of the dorm, Ymir sang the Friends theme song loud enough to be heard from the hallway. Historia harmonized with her happily, leaning into her chest.

Once Reiner and Jean safely secured the couch to Reiner’s truck bed, they returned to the dorm room.

“Yay! It’s gone!” Y/N clapped her hands enthusiastically. “Thanks guys, really.”

“Thank you,” Jean replied. “I really needed a couch.”

“And thank me,” Reiner teased. “For having a truck and upper body strength.”

Y/N laughed. “Here’s your sandwiches, courtesy of Chef Y/N.”

“Five stars!” Sasha banged her first on the table, chewing loudly.

“I put some chips on the side,” Y/N pointed to Jean’s plate. “It just adds that extra flavor.” She admitted almost shyly. Jean’s heart swelled. Why was she acting so.. adorable? There was just no other word for it. It wasn’t a big deal. His friends often acted adorable. Armin, Connie, even Sasha. Eren… On second thought, not Eren.

“Thanks! I love chips!” Jean said. Y/N laughed again, the corners of her eyes crinkling, shaking her head a bit. Even Reiner chuckled.

“Great commentary,” He said, patting Jean on the back with a large hand. “Thanks, Y/N.” He made his way to the couch, where Historia scooted to make room for him, smiling brightly.

“Don’t even try anything,” Ymir warned, holding up a finger to Reiner and giving him a death stare. Reiner shook his head, eyes widened in fear. Ymir borderline barked.

“You can sit!” Y/N motioned to the small breakfast table Sasha was devouring her sandwich at.

Jean quickly glanced at the table, then at Y/N leaning against the counter. “Nah, I’m good here.” He took a bite out of his sandwich.

“Ugh, that’s so barbaric,” Y/N scoffed. “Eating standing up.”

Jean nearly choked on the bite of sandwich. “Weren’t you just thanking me for buying your ugly couch?” He sassed.

Y/N rasied her eyebrows. “Um, you should be thanking me and my ugly couch for saving you from sitting on the floor. Why’d you even buy one if you just eat standing up? You animal.” Jean shook his head, trying to contain his smile.

“That’s rude.” He stated simply.

Y/N punched his shoulder jokingly. “You can handle it.”

Jean shrugged. “I don’t know. I might just cry myself to sleep every night. Who knows how long the guilt will eat you alive for.” He said in a fake menacing tone.

“Oooh, I’m terrified.” Y/N waved her hands.

“For good reason. I’d be a pretty annoying guilt trip.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Y/N agreed. His voice is so deep, Y/N thought.

Sasha stared at them blankly, head on her hand, mouth partially open.

“Uh…”

“Sasha,” Jean rolled his eyes. “Close your mouth, I can literally see the chips.”

Like a fish, Sasha’s mouth closed with a wet sound. She finished chomping and swallowed before getting up.

“You guys are weird.” She said, walking to the couch as well.

Jean and Y/N watched her go, attempting to fit on the medium sized sofa.

“I think we might need another couch.” Y/N commented, watching Sasha try to shove Reiner off her usual seating spot.

“No take backsies,” Jean smirked, looking at her.

“I sold it for a reason, whatever your last name is.” Y/N crossed her arms.

Jean guffawed. “Like you don’t know my last name.”

“I don’t! It’s pretentious.” Y/N insisted.

“Uh, huh.” Jean replied, not believing it, more so hoping it was just a joke. “It’s Kirstein.” He said instead, opting to not find out the hard way.

“I was right, it is pretentious. All fancy soundin’.” Y/N shuddered.

“It is not!” Jean argued.

“Whatever. Do you know mine?”

“Duh,” Jean mocked, staring at Y/N and placing his empty plate on the counter.

“Then what is it?” Y/N shot back, staring just as intently.

“It’s uh- It’s um,” Jean drew a blank. He stuttered, trying to recall the memory.

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh.”

Jean waved his hand dismissively. “It’s probably just basic.”

“Sure, Kirstein,” Y/N dragged out the syllables. “It’s L/N, if you must know.”

“L/N.” Jean repeated. “Nice to meet you.” He stuck his hand out.

“You’re not gonna freeze up now?”

“Very funny. You totally froze up first.”

“You looked like a deer in headlights.”

Jean shook his head, checking his watch. It was 5:15. Connie would be home soon, hungry. “I should head out, I got a lot of stuff to do.”

“More interesting than couch transporting?” Y/N picked up Jean’s plate, moving it to the sink.

“If you can believe it, yeah.” Jean chuckled. “But hey, thank you. It was pretty good.”

“The sandwich or the couch?” Y/N teased.

“Both.”

“Probably the sandwich.” Y/N said.

“Probably.” Jean agreed. “You ready to go?” He asked Reiner. Reiner nodded, getting up from the couch. Sasha scrambled to her feet off the floor to take his spot.

“Bye, everyone,” Reiner waved. “Thanks for the food, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome! Hope you enjoyed it.” Y/N waved.

“And um,” He stepped closer to Y/N, lowering his voice. “I’m sorry about earlier. If you ever want to um, talk about it,” Reiner ran a hand through his hair. “Just text me.”

Y/N grew stiff. Plastering a fake smile on her face, she just nodded. “Thanks, Reiner. I’m okay though.”

Reiner nodded. “I’ll see you outside, I’m gonna start the truck.” Reiner told Jean. He walked out, keys jangling, and shut the door gently. Jean stared at Y/N quizzically. He decided it was best not to ask, not wanting to come off as nosy or creepy. But Y/N could tell he was curious. She figured Reiner would explain and grew flustered just thinking about the humiliation of Jean knowing what Reiner knew. She preferred to leave that to Reiner and Jean to talk about.

“So I’ll see you around?” Jean asked, making his way to the door. Before Y/N could respond, Historia piped up.

“Wait, Jean!” She walked over to the breakfast table, digging into her pink Coach shoulderbag. “Here!” She produced a small pink invite, extending it to Jean.

HISTORIA’S 21ST BDAY BASH <33

Jan. 15 @ 8 PM @ Reiss Estate

2000’s THEMED

wear ur best y2k attire!

can’t w8 to see u there ;)

Jean raised an eyebrow, flipping the card to the back. It was a pic of Historia as a kid, wearing a hot pink feather boa with a pink plastic cellphone against her ear. She looked more or less the same, only more subtler. The girl did like pink.

“You should totally come! Connie’s also invited, and Eren is coming with Mikasa! It’ll be so fun, I hope to see you there.”

“Thanks!” Jean replied, glancing at Y/N. “I’ll be there. Bye guys!” A chorus of “bye!”s ensued. He stepped out the door.

Outside the dorm, he let out a sigh of relief. Historia’s birthday bash. Another opportunity to see Y/N.

Inside the dorm, Ymir glared at Historia. “Why’d you invite him, babe?” She whined, pouting like a child.

“Many reasons,” Historia began, walking over and sitting on her lap. “One, to spite you. Two, he’s nice! Three, I can’t invite all of his friends and not him. That’s rude. And four, for Y/N.” Sasha and Ymir looked at Y/N.

Y/N’s mouth dropped. “Um, what? I didn’t say anything!”

“Oh, please,” Ymir rolled her eyes in disbelief. “We all saw you canoodling.”

“No, we weren’t.” Y/N grumbled, washing the dishes.”

Historia giggled. “It’s okay, Y/N. You can just talk to Jean at my party.”

Y/N shrugged. “Maybe.”

Pulling out her phone, Y/N found herself re-reading her and Jean’s messages. Not really knowing why, she decided to save his contact.

Just incase, Y/N thought.

—

Later that night, Y/N’s phone dinged.

—

Meanwhile:

—

a/n: hey guys!! i’m sorry for the late update but I made this chapter extra long to make up for it :D so i saw this post and it was like “fanfic authors be going thru the most traumatic shit and then come back like nothing happened with a 6k word count chapter” and LET ME TELL YOU, that is my life. Rn nothing traumatic is happening but man it’s like this fic WANTS to be delayed lol. So i broke my thumbnail and i could NOT type for a few days without excruciating pain!! then i was busy into the night time which is my usual writing time. now i am sick with a fever, sore throat and a stuffy nose!! but i’m here, hopefully i won’t be sick for my graduation lol cus then i won’t be able to go. i hope y’all enjoyed this and ahh i felt so bad being mean to reiner but i feel like this was necessary for the porco plot to develop haha. also this is not proofread it’s 2am and i literally suck at writing first meetings/conversations. can you tell this was rushed lmaoooo. there was a lot more i was going to say but i forgot omfg so tune in to the next chapter!! love you all xx

btw i literally do not know how to do that “keep reading” tab thing where it cuts off your writing so it isn’t one big post so can someone please teach me :)

taglist: @usernamehere91 @calumsfringe @tsunderehokage

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thesunshinebunny · 3 years

Text

When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part V)

Series Master list

pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader

content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter summary: Eren and reader meet face to face and are determined to put an end to the tension that has been building around them since Eren returned from Marley.

Word Count: 7.9k

The light wind blew the few leaves that had fallen from the trees around me at the same time that it generated a slight comfort, as if the same wind was hugging me and holding me between its countenance. The branches moved to the beat of it sweet music and danced a slow tango around two figures ready to end the other. We were both facing each other, each positioned perfectly and vertically above the other's line of sight, only a few steps separated, perhaps two meters apart, but still the difference wasn’t an obstacle to inspect each other.

Eren standed stiffly on the muddy floor, a position that was becoming a habit lately every time he was about to confront someone, either with words or with blows. His shoes were dirty and torn, some small holes showed through the cloth. Strands of hair fell on his forehead and some were stuck to the skin due to the mud and earth that the footsteps threw into the air. His eyes...just as empty of any light and life that might exist.

His jaw was clenched as well as one of his fists, I didn't find any sign his hand was hurt or his palm was bleeding and dropping a few drops to the floor, so I assumed it wasn’t in his plans to transform here and now. But that didn’t mean that I could be calm.

As for me, surely Eren was looking at me the same way a wolf looks at a little sheep or a poor dwarf white rabbit, one of the most defenseless animals in the food chain. Apparently I was the meal and it was time for lunch. But I was very sure that Eren hadn’t limited himself to looking at me with that horrible analogy, he’d surely noticed my torn and bloody clothes, as well as dirty with mud and some other things that I wanted not to investigate or put my nose in them. He had probably also noticed the multiple scratches on the skin of my arms and on my face, wounds already dry and in the process of healing thanks to the sweat from adrenaline and the race through the forest made in a few minutes. He had probably noticed little strands sticking to the crook of my neck and cold sweat dripping down my spine.

I don't doubt he surely noticed the fire burning in my eyes, my gaze radiating determination, a determination to get out of this place as unscathed as possible and find a way to fix this whole damn situation. He would have noticed how my figure was a reflection of his, I wouldn’t move if he didn’t move, I wouldn’t stop squeezing a finger if I didn’t see he stopped squeezing his. It was like being on the other side of a mirror, copying each and every one of the other's movements.

"So ... wanna make the first move?" My breathing was ragged, however neutral my face might be. Inside I was afraid, I was always afraid, it was a normal feeling and sensation. I was already used to feeling this unconditional fear when going out into the world.

The wind blew around us again, it was like a sweet melody cradling my ears, it was like feeling a hand caressing my battered face, a caress that I hadn't felt for a long time. If the moment had been different, it would have taken me some time to close my eyes and enjoy the breeze. If I did that right now, I would end up badly beaten and dejected, perhaps dead as well.

The breeze was dancing for a few seconds and stopped short, as if the world and time itself had stopped, only the two of us were able to move and yet neither did. Everything around us was silent, not the chirping of a cricket or the footsteps of an animal could be heard. Neither did any footsteps or voices from the other Jaegeristas, completely ignoring their locations, while ignoring the whereabouts of my beloved horse. It was just me and Eren in this little airless bubble.

Seconds of silence and in an instant Eren stepped forward and instinctively I stepped back, letting my left foot hold much of my weight on this. I was leaning back with the possibility of running if necessary, but knowing Eren I would only run a couple of meters before having him on my back and holding me like we’re playing hide and seek. My hands were raised to my torso, palms facing the ground and in position to become fists or grab something, whatever was out of the trees to counter or defend myself.

It wasn’t a position that I wasn’t completely unfamiliar with, was like reliving the old days as cadets in training, each one trying to search for the opponent's strengths and weaknesses, evaluating the chances of attack and their effectiveness. It really was like self-defense practices, practices that Eren put so much effort and determination into. I used to watch him from afar when my partner ended up on the ground given the multiple blows to the stomach that I had so proudly learned from my father. I used to see his frustrated face when Annie managed to knock him down with a simple leg movement or when Reiner was too abrupt to the point of knocking him to the ground from his high height. And yet, no matter how many blows and humiliations the poor boy felt when practicing self-defense, he never stopped fighting and asking for more blows, as if violence and physical damage were his only form of training. Already in the first practices I knew he was completely crazy, that he had something bad in the head, but his determination and that sparkle in his eyes when he got angry at losing, in the same way that a small child gets angry when they don’t have what they wants, was what caught my attention the most.

I used to fight him repeatedly in these same practices, being positioned in the same places we are now, one of us with a flabby wooden knife, but capable of doing a lot of damage if we didn’t use it properly. I was already used to the agile movements that I could perform with a simple kitchen and hunting knife, living much of my lifetime in the middle of a small town lost in the woods. I was used to defending myself and attacking animals with little rational intelligence, which made them much more dangerous than a simple human. I was equally used to dodging punches, and punches, able to redirect them and hit the weakest points of my prey. But I wasn't used to the low blows this boy was capable of. I always had to cover my back because I didn't know when he was going to jump on me and throw me to the ground, like the first time I knocked him down with a blow to the chin and when I was about to change partners, he grabbed my back and neck to throw myself on the floor and make me eat dirt. I didn't know if even throwing him to the ground multiple times he would go against my leg and bend it, hitting my head not only against the floor but also against his shoulder. I didn't know when he would apply the same technique Annie had taught him weeks ago. Unarmed or with a damn wooden knife Eren was dangerous because he was willing to keep fighting, even if he was going to fight dirty, without rules or codes.

I have faced him multiple times throughout the three years of training and in each confrontation there was something new that surprised us both, be it his various angry movements or my simple stances and punches capable of stopping the fight in any way. And that same uncertainty was also reflected in the times we went out to fight with what, at that time, we thought were simple and common titans, unable to deduce the actions of the other, evading death many more times than we could count.

And all that uncertainty and determination on the battlefield started with simple training with the wooden knife. A wooden knife.

A knife.

I withdrew my hand from in front of me and with great care I directed it towards the back pocket of my pants, without stopping looking at Eren who had taken advantage while I wandered in my imagination to approach and settle half the distance that separated us. When my hand reached the pocket, I stuck my thumb and forefinger inside it, grasping a small doctor's knife which I apparently had unconsciously put away in the morning when I finished treating my last patient. I secured it tightly and kept my hand behind my back until Eren again took a big step towards me and, in a protective movement, I positioned the knife in attack mode, eye level, as if was a real fight knife.

"Well that's not very fair-"

With a clean flick of the wrist the small knife rested on my thumb and forefinger and I tossed it to the side, striking perfectly even on the bark of a tree. It had been nailed cleanly and the sound it generated on impact gave certainty that it would be difficult to get it out of that place. Eren never moved from where he was, he simply followed the movements of my hand and at the moment of impact he inspected the cut on the bark before turning his gaze to me.

“I am unarmed… without weapons, without my movement gear, just my bare hands. But it still wouldn't be a fair fight, would it?"

In the four years that we were officially in the legion, at no point had we taken a day to practice our close combat as we did before. You could say that our fighting days were over on the night of our graduation. Although those days were behind us, I was completely sure he had never stopped training, he would continue to launch those unpredictable movements at any moment, let alone his unnatural power.

"You have your titan powers and each hit that hits you will heal, instead I will continue to bleed and spend days with a black eye and broken bones, if that is the case"

I saw what his fists could do to someone like Armin and what they had done to my neck and nose, if this fight went on longer than it should or turned in a bad movement, my body was going to end much worse than it already was; I was even beginning to think that maybe Eren would go as far as turning into a titan and crushing me once and for all. I had to be careful and hoped luck was on my side to make it out alive a second time.

“Come on, let's finish it once and for all” In position and waiting for the first hit, this is how they taught us and this is how I would be mentally prepared from now on, until the moment of my death, even if it were in a few minutes.

He was the first to cut the distance between us, raising his fist to my face. His knuckles slammed into my arm, propelling it toward the contour of my face by the wave and force of the impact. His other fist tried to hit the pit of my stomach, but I could catch his movement and block him with my other arm, hitting him to no effect with the bone. I raised my left leg to hit him on the ribs, but like me, Eren was faster and dodged just in time, avoiding my foot and moved it to the side. As I touched the ground again, I raised my leg again and this time I managed to hit him on the hip, propelling him forward and hitting his body again, this time with my right knee on his face.

His body didn’t move from where he had fallen to the floor, sensing that my blow hadn’t been strong enough to unbalance him, but to mislead him for a second. His face was thrown back by the impact of my knee and I hit him again in the same way, this time right in the center of the face, right on the septum and the mouth. My hand lunged for his hair, grabbing his already disheveled manbun and pushing his head back, my other hand was about to hit right in the neck area, but before I could even put my fingertips on him, his fingers closed tightly on my wrist and twisted it outward, drawing an uncomfortable groan from my throat.

His other fist managed to make a hook towards my chin causing me to loose the grip on the manbun, my legs were unbalanced and I felt blood spurt into my mouth, and one of his feet rose high enough to hit me in the chest and pull me towards him. back and hitting the head squarely against the hard dirt floor. Eren wasted no time and took a short leap towards my figure and placed his hands on my neck for the third time that day. It was like reliving the restaurant scene, me on the floor and him finding a way to position himself on me and immobilize me.

"God, what about you and your choke kink?" With my throat so battered in such a short time, I could barely speak and what I managed to get out was nothing more than hoarse and breathy moans, as if my voice was breaking little by little.

Both of my hands went straight under his armpits holding them in the shape of a sword and digging the bony ends into his weak skin. His arms loosened, giving me the chance to elbow him on the back of his neck and push him away from my body. I put my hands on the ground and got back to my feet with my arms and legs now muddy and dirty, but what was my intention to put myself on guard ended up turning into a new face fall down to the floor, having one of his legs hooked on my knee and making any escape movement impossible. I hit him hard with my free leg on the knee that was hooking me, managing to displace it and perhaps break it on the spot given the creaking sound that echoed through the bark of the trees. With my leg released, I turned around and now that same leg was on his broken knee, applying pressure to the floor, and my other leg took a moment to impact right on his face. His body was now flat on the floor and I positioned myself on top of him without wasting time, pulling his arm back and hitting his ribs with the elbow of my free arm. One, two, three blows, until I felt an impulse bring my body back to the floor as well as a blow on my left cheekbone. I hadn't seen his fist come to my face when he lunged against my body to get me off.

His knee hit me in the pit of my stomach, curling into a fetal position and his fist slammed again into my cheekbone. I tried to scratch his arm the same way I did with his face hours ago, but I failed miserably, as if the pain of the flesh peeling off his skin didn't affect him at all. So I hit his knee with mine, moving him off my stomach, driving him to the ground, and back hitting him on the ribs. Eren lifted his body for a moment to avoid taking any more impacts and gave me enough time to place my legs under his chest and stretch them towards and send him flying against the tree behind him.

Now I could easily stand up, but the pain in my stomach made it difficult for me to breathe and to be able to stand firmly on the ground. I took quick strides towards his body and when my foot was about to hit his face, Eren wiped away a considerably thick branch from the ground and struck my face with the tip, impacting the leaves and small branches on my wounds and throwing me to the ground from the burning. I was in four against a tree, behind me I heard how the dry leaves crunched under Eren's feet and how he was getting up to jump on my back; But this time, I was faster and managed to turn around to hit my leg on his neck for a good time and throw him again towards a crooked tree on our side, hitting his neck against the bark and tearing the skin with friction. From where I was lying I could see blood coming out of his neck, it seems he had torn the jugular area and was bleeding. I could also see the pain on his face and how his body was getting rid of the tension that the fight had caused.

We were both gasping for air, at the moment neither of us could take it anymore and both bodies were asking for a limit, but I knew it was a matter of time before Eren fully recovered and a new fight would take place again. If there was a moment to act, this was perfect. I tried to get up, but my back didn’t give in to my directions and I was thrown back to the floor. My eyes were fixed on the tops of the trees, which let a few rays of the sun slip into our little forest bubble. The sight was almost angelic, if it weren't for the multiple blows that were burning like a bonfire. I saw how some leaves fell slightly accompanied by the wind which had blown again when our fight ended. I felt physical and mental relief as I listened as the smoke rose from Eren's skin, quickly healing his wounds, but still suffering from the bleeding in his neck. My vision began to blur, nothing that was in front of me was seen clearly and I was afraid I was about to faint.

Ahead of me I began to see a familiar sight, quite familiar indeed; the training days, Eren and me in our younger years. I saw us in one of our first confrontations, being completely dirty from the sandy earth but still standing on our two feet, our eyes like daggers about to be thrown at our opponent. Each one prepared to deliver what seemed like the last blow and define the confrontation before ending the day and heading off to the canteen for dinner, ready to define our fifth confrontation with hatred for the other in the veins. Eren, as not, was the first to approach and to be dodged by a young me and give him a poor punch in the face. He complained about the impact, backing off for the next instant to pounce on my shoulder and hook me on the knee to finally throw me sideways to the ground for the fourth time in that three-hour workout. I groaned in pain and grabbed onto my shoulder, injured and battered from so many blows. I stretched out on the floor, in the same way that presumably I was now and I stared at the orange sky, observing how little by little the sun was setting on the horizon and fine dark blue lines welcomed the night.

"Ha, how many times have I beat you today?" his voice and breathing were ragged but still I could tell the false vanity and self-centeredness in his words. He had hunched over his knees resting his tangled hands on them and brought his face closer to mine, covering my beautiful sight and replacing it with his horrible green eyes. I fixed my gaze on his damn crooked smile, the same one he gave to any asshole he had the guts to challenge and finish. I closed my eyes to avoid looking at him and in less than a second I moved my leg over his, hitting his balance and causing him to fall headlong to the floor, hitting the side of his temple. The blow echoed across the ground, earning laughter from some of our friends and whispers around us. I didn't stop to listen to what stupid people might be saying about what had just happened, but stood up heavily, still having a semi air of victory over my body, I wiped my hands on my pants, which deserved a full-fledged clean, and I ducked down to his figure on the floor.

"Not so bad for a country one, huh?" and with that I turned and walked towards the canteen, hoping to be in time before Sasha ate my slice of bread like most nights.

Back at my self lying on the muddy, doughy ground, my breathing come back to normal before my vision returned to having the leaves of the trees in sharp focus. I felt a great heaviness on my body and at the same time I felt like a feather, as if I was experiencing an out-of-body episode ... or was simply rambling. I got up in the same way as in that wonderful memory which for some strange reason happened to appear in my consciousness, and I leaned back on a tree before compiling myself and dragging my feet on the leaves.

"That’s it, I’m done" To be honest, I couldn’t do this anymore. To be honest, I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth and reincarnate in another life, many years in the future. To be honest, my sanity couldn't keep fighting anymore, but I was too cowardly to take my own life. I was tired, not only tired of fighting, but tired of this damn world that the only thing that achieved was to put us in a circle of hatred and anger between each other.

I took a few more steps towards some side of the forest, knowing that I had no idea where I was going, if it was the same side I came from or another completely different, heading right towards the hands of the Jaegeristas. Likewise, if they caught me, they would take me to the others. Would it have been worth it to have escaped from the beginning? Surely not, but I was praying with my few walking neurons that I had managed to take a little time out of them.

"I can still going"

I heard him say a few meters behind me. I could still hear the smoke coming from his veins, this time with much more vigor, a sign that he was about to heal completely. Damn bastard, he'd perfected his healing technique over the years and it didn't take more than five minutes to heal all of his wounds.

"Well I can't!" I screamed reluctantly, as if I was trying to convince myself to give me a break, even if that break meant losing the battle against a terrorist group.

My feet kept moving over the leaves until they hit a fallen tree branch and half caught up with it, causing me to lose my balance and fall sideways onto the bark of the same tree. I instinctively placed my hand and with the fall, the hand didn’t stay sufficiently attached to the surface and drifted to the side, scratching my skin and exposing the raw flesh. I rested my healthiest shoulder on the surface and held my hand. The blood came out slowly, in time with the rapid pumping of my heart, the palm was throbbing and I felt that throbbing not only in that area but also in my ears and in my chest. I blew on the wound to remove the small traces of dirt and grime on the flesh.

"I'm tired of continue fighting, I'm tired of fighting with you and I'm tired of this world, I'm going home"

"What home?" ok, of all the things Eren could have said right now, or all the things he said to me over the past few weeks, this was the one that had hurt the most, the one that had touched my heart the most.

The image of my mother being killed in front of me by a bullet in the head at the age of ten, the image of my father or what was left of him returning to my village after years in training, the image of my family's house destroyed and split in half, while parts of the steps were burned and made charcoal. The image of a cabin in the middle of a field, far from the city, calm, empty and silent, the one that for a couple of years was my residence and now it was used by the queen herself to give birth to the heir. All those images appeared in my mind without invitation to haunt me in a matter of seconds until I gave my answer.

"To what is left of it" I broke away from the surface of the tree and devoted myself to looking ahead and following the path that at first I was taking.

“Wait” behind me the sound of the smoke had stopped and the only thing I could hear was the rustling of the leaves under Eren, who was getting up and standing on his feet.

I ignored his claim and kept walking, always looking ahead and taking good care of where I stepped, I wasn’t in the mood to rip my other hand or fall back on the one that was already badly hurt.

“I said fucking wait” was the only thing I heard before feeling his hands on mine and my shoulder.

I no longer know how many times my back was hit against a surface, I just knew that at this point it would be full of bruises or most likely my back would be a whole bruise, having all the skin covered in a nice purple or black color. My head suffered the same fate, chunks of bark digging into my scalp and some snagging on my hair. Strands got tangled over small branches halfway out of the trunk and pulled my head that way, putting me in a very uncomfortable position. The hand Eren was holding stretched forward, threatening to stretch it further and dislocate my shoulder in the process, the other hand holding my shoulder tightening more and more against my flesh while holding the bone in an impossible way with his long, slender fingers.

If my heart wasn’t already racing too much, the pulsations went crazy when I felt his hand leave mine calmy and position my arm at my side with great care to move to free a lock of hair from the bark and position it behind my ear. Then he stroked my cheek in the same way he had done so many times before. His thumb wandered over my shallow cuts, pulling out the dried blood that had accumulated, and made circular motions over my badly injured cheekbone, as if he was trying to remove the pain that he himself had caused. I leaned my head to the side trying to prevent him from keep touching me, fixing my gaze on the floor, on his feet, on mine, and I hid my face behind the few strands that were loose.

“Look at me” his voice was nothing more than a whisper, only the silence of the forest gave the opportunity to hear him clearly.

My gaze remained embedded in the grass that surrounded the tree below our feet. His thumb, now positioned on my lower lip, forcefully applied pressure downward on the open flesh, parting my two lips and sticking his finger in just enough to play with the tips of my teeth. His index finger came under my chin and forced me to turn my head in his direction.

“Fuck. Look at me! ” His eyes penetrated mine and for the first time in a long time I could see a small glow reflected in them. But that glow, I guessed, wasn’t good at all. It wasn’t the same kind Eren had when he was fifteen, knowing he had the whole world ahead of him and he could be of use to humanity, but instead was the same kind he had before annihilating with extreme anger his opponent.

We stare at each other, his face getting closer to mine. I could feel his breath on my skin and his thumb was still playing with my teeth. The hand that was holding my shoulder began to caress the skin that was visible outside the shirt, over my neck, also sore and full of scratches.

In an attempt to get him to leave my lip alone, I bit down on the tip of his thumb, not hard enough to rip off a piece of meat, but hard enough to make him fucking pull his finger out of my mouth. He waved his hand trying to ease the pain and grabbed my other cheek, stretched it out, pinched it and left a red mark on the area, burning me for a few seconds.

"I missed you back in Liberio" He grabbed a lock of my neck and twisted it between his fingers, playing for a moment and pulling the roots so that my head leaned forward.

The fingers on the skin of my neck continued it’s movements, sometimes going towards the back of my neck, scratching the beginning of the root and pulling a few strands. The caresses were soft, like the massage of a feather, it gave me chills up my spine at the same time that I was having trouble breathing with each step of his fingertips on the bone of my neck. He stopped playing with my lock and cupped one of my cheeks in the palm of his hand, his skin cold compared to mine, warm from adrenaline. It was a somewhat invasive sensation, but at the same time, comforting and uncertain. His thumb again made circular motions over the wounded skin but this time avoiding the scratch marks.

"I missed the warmth of your cheeks and the shapes of your hands" His face moved closer to my neck, his nose brushing against the bruised skin and his breath tickling the tender spots between my neck and collarbone. His breathing made me shudder from head to toe, as if lightning had struck my body.

"Eren" it was pathetic to see how with a simple touch, my body responded so submissively.

I was trembling and not from the wind that blew from time to time over us, but from the multiple caresses on my neck; my cheek being forgotten and now the waist was being the focus point, his lips playing with my mental stability as he delicately rested on me neck, but not enough to lean on and kiss it. My brain was telling me everything was wrong, that I shouldn't be doing this, but my body asked for more, asking for a break, relax and let go. My innermost desires were screaming, begging, to be released, imploring me to succumb and break the tension that was obvious to them, but less to me.

What seemed like endless minutes, were limited seconds before I felt Eren's lips on my warm skin, his hand now resting completely on my neck and my waist, drawing me closer to him, at the same time that he imprisoned me against the tree. I was in the middle of two hard walls and unconsciously I didn't feel like moving. His soft lips compared to his hands and his acting from the last year, roamed under my chin and collarbone, making a path up and down, always repeating the same line of kisses that he left behind. The more kisses he implanted, the more aggressive, open and needy they were, all the while getting wetter and leaving a trail of saliva all around. His knee shifted between my legs, separating them and lifting me to sit barely on his leg, my crotch gently placed on his covered flesh and with each movement his leg applied the necessary pressure to begin get pathetic moans out of me.

"Better keep quiet, you don't want others to find out about our whereabouts" he growled through his teeth as he continued attacking my neck. Now I was sure that, not only would I end up with scratches, but also a few hickeys if Eren wasn't careful enough. What would be more embarrassing? They founding us hot and bothered against a tree or the fact that I was getting carried away sexually with the most wanted person in Paradis?

"Fuck, Eren ..." the hand on my waist tightened and I grabbed onto him, pulling me impossibly closer, fusing both bodies, one against the other's chest.

His hand guided my body back and forth, continuing to generate pressure on my core, a sweet agony that built very slowly, too slow for my liking. My legs were starting to feel numb from the bad posture Eren had me in and were shaking as his leg touched a weak spot. His fingers intertwined with my locks, tightening them and pulling my head back, having better access to my neck and being able to run his teeth through the fine skin. Eren always had a damn habit of biting, and biting hard, not to the point of bleeding, but under the circumstances, I doubted he had enough self-control to even mind ripping the skin. When his fangs aggressively bit my collarbone I grunted in discomfort, but even that feeling, the pleasure was much better. It hurt and it felt good.

Another bite, this time reaching the shoulder. His hand left my hair in peace and stretched the shirt, revealing more clearly his work on my neck and how the curve of my shoulder became more visible under the fabric.

My breathing was shaking, my hands resting on his biceps trying to find a point of balance, my nails dug into his jacket and my leg trying to curl over his for fear of falling. When his teeth came into contact with my shoulder again, aiming for the bone, I screamed in pain, pressing my body against his to dissipate the burning of his teeth on the broken skin. He let go of my shirt and squeezed my cheeks, fixing his eyes on mine violently and commanding me to shut up.

"Stay quiet if you don't want me to fuck you raw until you bleed" Before such a comment I was speechless, my neurons could not connect and I was left blank; the only thing in command now was my animalistic desire.

"Make me"

His lips slammed against mine, needy and eager. They were dry, too dry, and every brush against mine hurt, but neither of us cared about having two pairs of chapped and possibly bleeding lips. All we cared about was melting into each other. My hands dug into the hollow of his neck and his bun, which was already disarmed and strands fell on his forehead and sides, some fell right in front of his eyes, tickling my forehead and eyelashes.

I felt his hands descend to the curve of my butt and grab a good chunk of both cheeks before fully holding them. A little pressure and I was already jumping so I could hold on comfortably. Now we could both feel the center of each other, hot, throbbing and twitching. Every move Eren made to hold us together against the tree sent chills through my entire body, his notoriously erect and hard member rose in the right places and my moans were drowned out by his savage lips.

My nails dug into the back of his neck as I felt a stronger and more violent thrust on my sweet spot. I wanted it, needed it, and desired it. I wished this lustful feeling was the only thing I felt, that I would succumb and refuse to feel any other feelings. I wanted to give myself to him and use me if it meant letting go of all the negativity that had accumulated for weeks. I wanted to remove his clothes from him, to feel his sculpted, chunky muscles on the palms of my hand, wanted to feel his chest throbbing and warm on mine, wanted him completely. I pulled the jacket off his shoulders, getting stuck in his arms. Eren dropped me on the floor with a spear and took off his jacket to leave it god knows where.

"Hey! What the fuck- ”He didn't take long to kiss me again, now with his colossal body on top of mine.

I felt small under him, much more submissive, the sensation of his hands prowling the ends of my torso, reaching under the shirt and feeling my skin burning didn’t fix anything to the situation. His fingertips tickled my stomach, making me shudder every time they made their way to my abdomen. His tongue played with mine, distracting me from his deft fingers and his wickedness as he moved towards my chest and began to work on my nipples. He was a teassing bastard. His fingers poked and twisted one of my red, erect pebble. It was torturous to feel like between the puncture and the circular movement he took the time to stretch it and make it harder. With his other hand, he held my hip next to his, keeping it in it’s place as he balanced his hips against my pelvis. My legs opened involuntarily to better feel his member and in an agile movement he positioned himself between them, reconnecting both hips and placing them on both sides and holding him at the waist. With this, neither could escape the grasp of the other and we slowly melted away with each thrust and twist.

His hand came out from under my shirt and he started unbuttoning my shirt, one damn slow button at a time. Having my chest semi-exposed, his lips wandered towards my clavicle, passing the corner of my lips, the cheek, the jaw and the already sensitive neck, causing a groan to come out unexpectedly. His lips on the crook of my neck, his hands on the skin of my abdomen and his crotch on mine, I felt like I was exploding. I didn’t know where to put my hands, they went through his tousled hair, his shoulders, his biceps until they ended up under his shirt, feeling insecurely on the fingertips as touching his marked abs.

Every time I had the opportunity to admire his sturdy and worked body, it never ceased to amaze me how well puberty had done to him. His body able to surround me and cover me against the floor, pressing so that we could both feel the heat emanating from the other. I hadn't been able to tell him when he was in prison, but seeing him hunched over and exposing his torso and back muscles really had a great effect on me, seeing him wet, being able to discern some drops falling from his head onto his neck, was like seeing an oasis and I was a thirsty one, eager to sink my face into its sweet waters. I had been deprived of touching them at the time, but now that I was doing it, it wasn’t enough, I needed to see them with my own eyes as my fingers ran over them, while I ran my nails and left small marks that would dissipate in seconds.

The hand back on my chest was the boost I needed to lift his shirt up to his neck. Eren detached himself from me for a few seconds and got rid of the garment in the same way as his jacket, but he didn’t attack my neck like I so much wanted. Instead, his eyes stayed glued to my chest, seeing the work his deft fingers had done on my swollen nipples.

"Fuck" he growled as he ran his eyes over my semi-naked submissive body on the grass.

He bent down to level with his desired pebbles and caressed them with both hands, both giving them equal attention. I let my head fall back, closing my eyes and enjoying the sensation, but there was a moment when his fingers weren't enough anymore. I brought my hand up to his head, running my nails over his scalp, and pulled him forward, leaving him inches from my needy nipples. Eren got the hint because he quickly ran his tongue over one of them while the other was still torturing with his thumb and index finger. His mouth closed on the nipple and he sucked like it’s the only thing able to keep him alive, too painful but that didn't matter to me. He left a trail of saliva when he separated from the bundle with a 'pop' and dedicated himself to giving the other the same attention. I groaned at the needed action, causing his dick to hit my core. I was losing his mind, it was too much and at the same time, it wasn’t enough. I needed to continue, I wanted it with every fiber of my being. My nails had nothing better to do than run down his back and my legs wedged closer to his waist. I felt his dick throb and couldn't help thinking of the veins that ran through it, ending on his pretty and red head, he pre-sum that was surely coming out and wetting his pants, I couldn't help but wish to had him inside me and feel those same veins brush my velvet walls and go crazy with each thrust.

As my thoughts wandered of what was to come, Eren's lips left my nipples and focused back on my neck, this time on the side where my scar was. He left little kisses around the shoulder and around the mark, running up and down the shape, ending a little above the chest. His action was too sweet, too tender compared to his wild and hungry movements. My eyes widened instantly, if his intention was to make me uncomfortable, he had done it. If the intention was to ruin the fervid and hectic moment by reliving the scariest moment of my life, he was damned succeeding. How could I keep my composure when he was kissing the mark I had "earned" by going on a mission to rescue him? How could I stay calm when the memories of an onslaught of titans haunted my mind again, ready to devour me while I was lying on the ground with my movement equipment displaced and my shoulder immobilized by the bleeding wound? The memory of a stone flying towards my face, dodging it at the last moment and ending up hitting my shoulder bone, dislocating it, tearing the skin and flesh and noticing how the blood spurted out, soaking my shirt and jacket. My breathing started to hit, and not in the good way, and apparently Eren wasn’t realizing or hadn't taken it the wrong way.

It was like a bucket of cold water in pure winter. My mind suddenly cleared and every trace of heat my body ever had dissipated, leaving only a cold, stiff container.

"Wait, wait...no, no, this is bad" I put my hands on his shoulders and jerked him off.

"Why?" His eyes didn’t deign to inspect mine. Any normal person in their right mind, just by looking at my pale face could deduct that something was wrong.

"Why? I- You are the number one enemy in the world and of the military police, I would have to give you up and not making up with you right now"

I was babbling as well as shaking. I got up and settled onto my legs, sitting stiffly on the ground. Eren had come to the side before my body crashed against his when I got up and he was looking at me without any expression, as if nothing had happened, as if the only one who had been feeling something, even if it was a minimal sensation of pleasure, it was me, and that made me feel sick.

"I would have to be angry, make you shit on the floor and take you to pieces towards the wall Sina" at any moment I was going to throw up, I knew it. I knew my body perfectly to know that in every moment of tension and panic, my stomach would start to annoy me, to go into spasms and hit me internally. "I shouldn't be doing this with you"

"Is that so bad? Listen to your desires, follow your instincts? " His hands came to rest on my waist and without any permission from me, he placed me on his lap, both of us being face to face, chest to chest.

His words entered my ears and stayed reverberating in my mind. What to do? I was doing everything wrong, but at the same time they felt so good. I wanted to continue thoroughly, but I knew that morally it was wrong, more than wrong, it was horrible what I was doing, anyone could tell me that. I felt bad about myself, but ... deep inside me, there was a small feeling that was getting bigger and bigger and wanted, screamed, to be released. I was so indecisive and overwhelmed that all I could do was cry.

Pathetic. I was really pathetic.

I lowered my head on his shoulder, keeping the tears from being visible to this callous shit. His hands on my waist didn't feel at all comforting as he began to move his thumb in a circular motion. My hands formed into fists and I hit his shoulders repeatedly, each hit receiving a kiss on the head. My energies were exhausted at the very begining and I rested my fists on my waist, my head now barely suspended in front of him, not looking at him.

"I hate you" he kissed my shoulder.

"I know" another kiss, this time on the other shoulder, on my scar.

"I fucking hate you" my knuckles turned white from how hard I was clenching my fists.

"I know" he kissed a tear that had escaped my lashes and was running freely down my cheek.

"You're a piece of shit"

I opened my eyes to find a pair of beautiful turquoise eyes, bright and full of life. Eren placed his hand on my cheek, running his thumb every time a tear fell down it. He leaned down and captured my lips with his sweetly, the tears falling and falling, faster and faster and more forming in my closed eyes. The kiss had a salty taste, my heart was about to leave my chest and when Eren broke away I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to take it anymore.

"…I know"

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#aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot x reader #snk x reader #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren smut #eren angst #when the world falls apart updates #when the world falls apart

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aotimagines · 3 years

Note

Hey! I love everything you guys write. I’ve been following since like 2016? 2017? Lol, and I never get sick of it. Your character writing is just so on-point! :) I wanted to ask for headcannons or a scenario (whichever you feel more inspired to write!) for Eren and his s/o. What would their relationship look like transitioning from the early Survey Corp years to now? It also breaks my heart seeing how he’s changed, but I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and how it’d play out :,)

Wow, anon! I’m speechless, tbh. Mod Spookzz and I created this blog back in 2016. It was a time when a lot of snk blogs weren’t active with the exception of two or three. To know that you’ve stuck with us for this long really means a lot. Thank-you so much! I’ve...thought about this, a lot. Like, a lot. There may be some projecting in here based on my own OC, but this is genuinely what I think would happen. I hope you enjoy! Happy Valentine’s Day, btw! My gift to everyone is...angst. Again. I’m sorry, lmao. MANGA SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT. Also, fun fact, but this post is our 666th post, lmao.

CANON RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS:

✩ I know the recent fandom interpretation of Eren is that he’s some charming, charismatic fuckboi, but that is...not him. At all. Not that there’s anything wrong with fanon interpretation, ofc, but Eren is...lmao.

☾ Eren doesn’t know anything about romance, period. He canonically ignores Reiner, Jean, and Armin when they are praising girls and shows zero romantic interest in just about everyone.

✩ He’s preoccupied with other things, you know? His mind doesn’t really wander to romance often, so his s/o probably started out as his friend.

☾ Like, it’s hard not to fall for Eren’s idealism. He’s a super passionate speaker and has some really inspiring thoughts and ideas. He’s not stupid--not by a long shot--and this magnetism draws his s/o to him like a moth to a flame.

✩ His s/o probably realizes that their friendship and admiration for Eren has shifted into something romantic with all the ensuing drama that happens during their first trial expedition in the Survey Corps. The fear of losing Eren again really hits home and they are at a complete loss.

☾ They wouldn’t want to ruin their friendship, so they would keep the feelings locked away for a long time.

✩ Truthfully speaking, I can’t see Eren and any s/o getting together until the events between the four-year time skip.

☾ Yes, Eren is worried about what he saw the day he touched Historia’s hand and often wonders about whether or not the future he peeked into is set-in-stone.

✩ It changes his disposition. The bright, energetic, blunt boy that his s/o once knew is gone. Eren is quiet and often lost in his own thoughts; it’s not like him. So, they would cling to his side, trying to figure out what was wrong with him and what was bothering him.

☾ How no one else doesn’t notice the change in Eren is beyond me. I’d imagine that his s/o is so aware of it that it becomes almost painful to see how withdrawn Eren has become.

✩ Eren almost comes clean to them numerous times, but doesn’t want to put that burden on their shoulders. By the time he’s around eighteen, he realizes that he’s in love with his s/o. They are a constant in his life--always helping him and trying to distract him by taking his mind off things. It’s the only time Eren feels normal and he comes to crave their attention just as much as they do his.

☾ He confesses to his s/o beneath the stars on a night where they half-dragged him out of bed to see a meteor shower. When he finally gets to kiss them, Eren feels alive for the first time in almost three years. Everything seems perfect and he becomes scared to let go of their hand in fear that his happiness he’s found could slip between the cracks of his fingers at any moment.

✩ Which is what happens. No matter how happy Eren is to simply be by his s/o’s side, the realization that the future he saw would come true no matter what he did makes Eren realize that being with him would only hurt his s/o down the line.

☾ As much as it kills him on the inside, he’d break up with them. They’d be in tears and ask why and the only thing Eren can think to say is that he isn’t in love with them, anymore. They are both broken hearted, but Eren knows this decision would save their life. He would never fathom asking them to go along with the Rumbling idea and loves them too much to be selfish.

✩ The next few months are painful. It’s obvious to just about everyone, Eren’s s/o included, that he broke up with them for some unknown reason. Despite being broken up, Eren and his s/o still meet up and spend time with one another. Even though he broke up with them, Eren can’t stay away.

☾ When Eren escapes to Marley, his s/o is crushed and wants answers so bad. Even though they trust Eren, his actions become hard to justify when he kills innocent people just to keep Paradis safe.

✩ In canon, Eren and his s/o wouldn’t have a happy ending. It makes me so sad to think about, but...maybe in another life, they’d have a chance at happiness.

#eren jaeger headcanons #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger scenario #snk x reader #snk headcanons #aotimagines #mod elle #happy valentine's y'all!!!#sorry for giving you angst AGAIN

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sarita-sketches · 3 years

Text

Ignorant Bliss

Pairing : Conny Springer x Fem Reader

Genres : Smut, very smutty! Lots of angst: Lovers to Enemies to Lovers again

Warnings : BIG ATTACK ON TITAN SEASON 4 SPOILERS !!! Read at own risk. Heavy sexual content including vaginal sex, oral, general foreplay, dominance, slightly kinky. Brief mentions of death and character trauma

Summary: You and Conny were once lovers but a tragic accident caused the two of you to fall apart leaving nothing but hatred between the two of you. Two years later after the incident you’re sent on a mission with him to foreign lands where you end up having to share a bed in an inn for the night. The past resourfaces leaving growing tension between the two of you that becomes completely unbearable.

A/N : Hi this is my first time posting anything, I’m also an artist so if this posts generates enough interest I might do an NSFW drawing to complement it 👌🏼

“Y/n are you listening to me” your captain’s voice forced your attention back in to the room that you were currently stood in with the rest of the squad members who had not yet left for Marley.

“Yes, my apologies Captain Levi”. Though he was significantly shorter than the rest of the members of his squad, including yourself, Levi’s presence took up the room where ever he was – no one stepped out of line with him so you ignored your body’s urges to retaliate with a snide remark as you normally would have had it been anyone else.

“Y/n and Conny I am ordering you both to infiltrate Marley and rendezvous with your team mates, make contact with them as soon as you can”.

Your body stiffened at the name of your fellow comrade that you’d been paired up with. Seeing your composure shift Levi challenged you.

“I am assuming that I can count on you to carry this task out without any issues, yes y/n?”

“Yes sir” your replied, devoid of all emotion if anything to not let Conny have the satisfaction of getting under your skin.

God this was going to be the end of me, you thought to yourself, if not this war then he will be.

“Good, I want you both to remember that this is bigger than us all so neither of you screw this up or I will personally beat you both into pulps. You’re both relieved”.

You didn’t wait to see if Conny would say anything to you, your legs carried you as fast as they could out of the room to your quarters that you once shared with the other girls in your squad, you wished they were here right now. The memory of Sasha weighed heavy in your heart as you laid on your bunk thinking about the times you’d talk about the different kinds of foods you would find in your adventures, the people you’d meet. You remembered Sasha had given you the strength to finally tell Conny how you felt. She was there through all of it, giving you advice on how to deal with her best friend when you would have an argument with Conny. Your sleepless nights when you’d be ridden with anxiety. She was there through to the very end.

The memory of your dearest friend colliding against you propelling you away from the looming mouth of the titan rips you apart, plagued with the image of you friend being ripped from limb to limb where you should have been instead.

Your body began to shut down, you try to steady your breathing but it’s no use. You feel your panic begin to rise and bloom across your chest as your breaths fall shorter than normal. You try to work though the exercises that help you control these episodes but to your own dismay you can’t focus. All you could see was Sasha’s face crumpled in fear as she screamed for you to run. Why did you have to save me Sasha? You cried out in desperation in the lonely confines of your room.

That day you hadn’t just lost Sasha, you lost the last part of you that was clinging on to the hope that things would be okay one day. But that hope died the moment Sasha did. It wasn’t just you who felt it either, it wasn’t spoken of but you felt the resentment of your comrades, of the person you loved, knowing that they wished it had been you that day, not Sasha. Only Mikasa had shown you kindness, the kind that was heartfelt and genuine that made you feel safe but soon Mikasa was sent along with the Armin, Eren and Jean to Marley once again leaving you with nobody.

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The next morning you found yourself in the same hall you had been in last night with Levi and the rest of your comrades.

Get over yourself y/n he hates you and you hate him. You hate him. You hate him. YOU HATE HIM. Levi once again begrudgingly pulls you out from your thoughts forcing back into reality.

“Let’s go soldiers” he declares and yourself and Connie stiffly follow behind to the vehicle that transports you both to the port where you’re met with a small boat you assumed would carry you to Marley.

“Are you both clear on what your orders are?”

“Make contact with the our comrades and rendezvous and escape without being noticed” you and Conny say in unison.

“Alright good. You’re all under strict orders to not die”.

With that Levi turns on his horse and rides back to the walls leaving a deafening silence in his wake. Neither of you say anything to each other, you don’t bother looking at him, you doubt he does either as you both mount the boat and head for the enemy territory.

A few hours into the journey you were beginning to feel restless, this was your first time crossing over such a large body of water and you weren’t sure how you felt about it, the silence between yourself and Connie wasn’t helping either. Reluctantly fed up of the silence you get up from the spot you were keeping warm and walk over to Connie. You’re never prepared for the hatred you see in his eyes whenever they make brief contact with you; it had been like that since Sasha’s death.

“What do you want” he mumbled forcing himself to look at anything else but you, opting to glare at the ocean instead.

Choosing to ignore the ignited fire burning in side of you, you push on wards asking him if he wanted to train while you were both stuck here with nothing else to do.

“Fine” Connie replied reluctantly “but don’t cry when you hurt yourself, princess”.

The venom that coated the words he once used to sooth you cut deep within you, but you pushed that hurt aside burying it deep, far enough that you couldn’t reach it and instead let your anger that you used to trick yourself into hating Connie consume you.

In one swift movement your legs kicked Connie from underneath him resulting in a loud thud as his back hit the hard wooden deck. Not wasting your breath you immediately were on top of him pushing your entire body weight down pinning his arms either side of his head. You cringed at this familiarity.

“That’s a lot of talk for someone who-” you were immediately cut off as he swung his arms down, bucking his hip up towards you sending you flying onto the deck. Conny moved quickly, before you could regain your senses he was already out from underneath you. His body pressed harshly against your back, his right arms tightly wrapped itself around your throat, his other behind your neck. The feeling overwhelmed you as the memories plagued your mind only now he held you with the intention to hurt you. He didn’t care anymore. Panicking you pushed your body backwards but to your dismay he simply held you tighter in his headlock, his own legs wrapped around yours.

“What was that?” He growled into your ear. You stayed silent. “That’s what I thought, who’s going to save you now huh y/n? Pathetic, if you had been better she would still be here”.

Something with in you snapped, you knocked your head back bashing against Conny’s forcing him to let out a scream reluctantly letting go of your throat. Before you could stop yourself your fist found it’s self against Connie’s cheek.

“Fuck you, you piece of shit”. You tried to steady yourself as you slowly pulled your body weight up walking away from him, not bothering to look at him.

“Say something like that to me again and I will kill you” you spat. With that you disappeared.

Evening stained the sky with all of its brilliance, shades of rose and golds were spread as though they had been painted by someone, illuminating the world beneath it. It sure was a cruel joke, to have such beautiful sights and yet in order to have these experiences you needed to live and that was a curse in the world you lived in. Sighing, you focused your attention to the crystal ocean mesmerised by the waves as they lightly folded over one and other occasionally making the boat sway a bit more than the usual. Strange creatures swam around, freely without a care in the world; you wondered what it was like to be free like that. Lost in your thoughts you hadn’t realised that a person had appeared until their voice cut through your thoughts stealing you away from the momentary feeling of peace.

“Miss we are almost reaching the shores of Marley, we should be making contact by nightfall”.

“Thank you commandeer”.

The tall man satisfied with having delivered the message left, assumingly to let Conny know. Your heart felt heavy in your chest at the thought of his name. NO! You interrupted yourself not allowing your heart to deceive you… he doesn’t love you and you don’t love him, the people you once were are no longer there.

You finally reached the shore and were left with a vague direction of where you both were supposed to be headed. Silently you both walked through the forest for cover not wanting to be seen by anyone else. After what seemed like hours you finally came to a town that seemed to be guarded by walls, guards patrolling it without a chance to sneak in.

“Levi could have warned us about this” you huffed taking in your surroundings assessing any points in which they could sneak in.

“Wait here” Connie said, before you could object he was already half way down walking to a couple of guards along one section of the wall. You watched as he single handily took them both out stripping them of their uniform and hiding them behind some trees. He finally made his way back towards you throwing the jacket along with an arm band.

“Wear this” he mumbled not bothering to look at you as he made his way over to the gate, you hesitated before reluctantly following in his steps. The guards scoffed looking at you both with disgust but made no movements to try and stop you from entering. Once you were far enough into the walls, covered by the crowds you let out a breath of air you had not realised you had been holding in.

“Conny! You mind slowing down? It’s no use if we end up getting separated”. Conny immediately stopped pulling you into a dark alleyway.

“If you keep shouting like that we are going to get caught. So shut the fuck up”

“Well if you weren’t walking so fast and slowed down to use that non-existent head of yours we might have a better chance at finding the others quicker, then this whole nightmare will be over” your waved your arms explosively in the air in attempt to keep your frustrations under control.

“I don’t want to be here as much as you and I especially don’t want to be here with you so don’t make our lives more difficult than what it actually is” you finished forcing yourself to not break away from his stare as he towered over your frame. When you were met with silence you safely assumed that you had had the last word, taking this opportunity you suggested that you both go to find an inn for the night where you can both devise a plan to find the others. Thankfully, Conny did not object to the idea, though he didn’t look thrilled either – no matter, that’s his issue you thought to yourself.

It didn’t take long for you to find an inn, it seemed in good condition and didn’t stray too far from the path you had both familiarised with. You look over to Conny searching for a mutual agreement, not that he had much say in the matter. Regardless, he nodded as you both walked in. You were met with the smell of antique wood with a hint of the ocean breeze. It was nice, much nicer than any of the places you had ever grown up in back at home. Taking in your surroundings you noticed the white walls were decorated in hints of gold and brass, large paintings of people dressed in fine gowns clung on to them. Beneath your feet the carpet was red and plushie with ornate gold patterns that matched the walls. It took everything within you not to gape at the place. In the midst of your admiration at the grandeur of this place you hadn’t realised that Conny had already walked up to the main desk and was negotiating with the woman before him. There was a smile stretched on his features, a small glint in his eye using the same charm that used to work on your self – or rather used to use on you before everything had gone to hell.

STOP you thought, no good will come from this, besides he is only pretending to get a cheaper bed for the night. Your suspicions confirmed when he turned back around catching your eye, the glint was gone replaced with his cold demeanour. You both followed the lady up the creaky stairs to the room that would be yours for the night. It was late and all you wanted to do was to just collapse on a bed and sleep but just like everything else, nothing was ever easy as you were both presented to a room with a single double bed. Great.

“Have a wonderful night you two” the woman cooed as she disappeared down the hall presumably back to her desk. You turned to face Conny who was burning holes into the bed.

“Stare at that any longer and you’ll set the place on fire”

“Whatever, I’ll take the floor”

Your eyes couldn’t have rolled further back into your head even if you tried.

“God, Conny you are such a pain, what good will it be if you don’t get enough sleep. The last thing I need is the plan fucking up because of me because you don’t want to share the damn bed”.

“I was being respectful” he spat, his tone covered in venom as though with each word he ever said to you was a direct hit to slowly intoxicate you until you were nothing but bones.

“Respectful?” you repeated, bringing your face a hairs width to his “are you fucking kidding me right now? RESPECTFUL?! You lost all respect for me the night Sasha died, you don’t know how to be respectful. You only know how to be a selfish asshole who not only broke my heart, but left me when I had no body! She was my friend too, Conny! I didn’t just lose her that night I lost you. You have treated me like shit ever since. So don’t give me this bull shit about respect when you don’t know the damn meaning of it!” your chest was heaving, completely breathless as you looked up at him.

“You done?”

“No, one last thing” your hand went flying towards his cheek but before it could make contact he tightly gripped your wrist pushing you harshly against the wall. You hadn’t noticed in your anger his eyes had clouded over as though pain brimming at the edges that had been locked away for the last two years.

“What did you expect me to do? I lost my best friend and I realised that I could lose you too, in any moment you could be ripped away from me”. His cracked voice filled the room, making you faintly aware that anyone could hear you but in this moment you didn’t care. You felt dizzy as neither of you yielded from each other’s stares.

“I can’t lose you, I did all of it so you would leave but you stayed” his voice now barely above a whisper.

“I never would have left” tears spilled out of both your eyes blinding you both.

“Damn it y/n why do you have to be so stubborn” before you knew what was happening his hand lifted your face to his lips as they crashed against each other. The familiarity made you melt into his touch, your body shuddering as his other hand gently wondered across your hips.

Momentarily breaking away you felt Conny mumble words against your skin.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he repeated over and over, desperation in his voice growing with each plead for forgiveness. Tired of it you force Conny to look into your eyes

“Shut up and kiss me, I don’t want to hear this right now”.

Darkness clouded over his eyes, a new shade of confidence settled upon him and he wore like it was his own skin. Conny moved his hands towards you thighs pulling you up so that your body was now pressed against him. More forcefully this time he re attached his lips to your own, slipping his tongue between your teeth earning a moan from yourself. You felt his smirk against your lips as they moulded together, in response you pulled his hair making him growl against you.

“Fuck, don’t do that y/n” he pressed himself against you as though warning you what would come if you didn’t stop, still you couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of his hard cock pressed against your heat; it ignited a fire with in you that had been smothered and now it was consuming your very soul.

“Conny” you breathed, your voice laced in seduction as it reached his ears, his hands tightening around your muscly thighs.

“Conny please, I need you”

Immediately your back was met with cold air as Conny slammed your body onto the double bed situated in the middle of the room. The bed was a soft contrast to the harsh wall, the mattress dipping as Conny climbed over towards your body. Your lips re-joined, tongues clashing against each other unlocking a primal instinct with in the both of you as the kiss deepened and became more heated.

“God y/n, I missed this so fucking much” he breathed, his ember eyes locking with yours, taking a bit of your h/c hair with his fingers tenderly placing it behind your ear. His other hand caresses your face.

“I love your eyes”. He looks down at your swollen lips dipping his head towards them.

“I love these” he mumbled against them gently pecking them. His free hand trails down your body as though he was savouring every curve, eventually making its way to the curve of your behind. His hand gripped it tightly whilst he whispered into your ear “I especially love this”. The gesture forced a gasp out of you, not being able to control the smile that was plastered on your face.

“Conny” you whined, but it was short lived as your body filled with the overwhelming sensation of his lips dragging across the sensitive part of your neck.

“That stopped your whining” he chuckled, the vibrations sending your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Fed up with his teasing you took matters into your own hands catching him by surprise as you rolled out from under and pinned him beneath you.

“You’re taking too damn long” you said leaning down towards his lips as you rolled your hips against his hard member. Instantly Conny’s hands were digging into your hips, pushing you further onto him.

“Fuck baby” he growls, his tongue slipping into your mouth.

You tried not to laugh at the look of disappointment in his face as your lips left his, your head held upright as you continued to drag your clothed core against him. Knowing he wouldn’t last much longer before something snapped with in him, you moved off him unzipping his pants and removing his undergarments allowing his cock to be free from its tight constraints. Though you’d seen it before and had done many lustrous things to it with your mouth, it’s size never ceased to shock you. Gulping down your initial surprise, you moved your head towards the tip that was already gleaming with precum. Wanting to tease him the way he just teased you, you opted for licking the length of his shaft, your eyes never leaving his that were hooded over from the pleasure. His hands found themselves tangled between your hair strands in attempt to guide your mouth around this cock.

“Use that pretty mouth of yours will you, fuck”.

“What if I don’t” you smirked at him, your tongue still leaving wet strips along the side of his cock. Suddenly you were yanked away from his throbbing member, forced to look at him, spit and saliva dripping from your mouth.

“What did you just say” he questioned, the dominance flowing off his tongue like venom.

“You heard me” you smirked at him. Oh you were in for it, your core tingling with excitement. Conny forced you to lay over his lap, a stinging sensation spread across one of your ass cheeks. Even though you were still fully clothed, you knew that it was going to leave a mark regardless. The sensation made you sign in response leaving you greedy for more.

1, 2, 3 slaps rained down on you, with each one the heat with in you got more and more unbearable.

“You’re such a brat” he growled slamming his palm down against you one more time before grabbing your hair and forcing your mouth onto his cock. You moaned in pleasure as his member filled your mouth all the way to the back of your throat. Conny initially kept his hand there bobbing your head repeatedly against his shaft. Satisfied that you would keep going he moved both his hands and leaned them against the back of his head as he took in the sight of you, your ass in the air as you gagged your self on him. It was almost too much sending him over the edge.

“Y/n stop” he moaned almost not being able to control himself, but you took it as an incentive to push yourself deeper on his cock deep enough to set off your gag reflexes.

“Fuck! y/n I said stop!” he growled as he pulled you off him bringing his hand around your throat.

“I’m sorry” you lewdly spoke, taking your bottom lip slightly between your teeth.

“You will be. Now strip”.

You complied obediently, hyper aware of the way his eyes glazed over your body as you removed each item of clothing. The hairs stood on end over every inch of your skin, he looked at you as though you were a meal about to be devoured. Once your body was fully bare before him he let out a long breath forming in the shape of a cloud before you both, not realising how much the temperatures had dropped. Repeating your actions Conny removed the rest of his own garments and it took everything within you not to gaze at his sculptured form as he lay naked before you. You were reminded of all the times during training that Conny removed his shirt along with his comrades to cool themselves off, but you never lingered long enough for fear of getting caught. Now he was before you, you could no longer help yourself and your eyes instinctively dragged across his abdomen, his arms that were decorated in scars and veins that popped against his tan skin.

“Like what you see” he questioned you, a devilish grin plastered smugly across his face.

“Don’t be shy” he said as he shifted his body towards you. “I know you like it, you always had before, and don’t think I never noticed the times you would steal glances at me during our training y/n”.

He smirked at the deep shade of rose that was now spreading across your cheeks. You were both now kneeling on the bed, chest to chest.

“You’re so beautiful y/n” he whispered as he leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes fluttering closed, you kissed his lips in response. His hands roamed your body exploring every inch of skin before landing on your breast. The roughness of his fingers against your smooth skin drove you insane.

“Ugh Conny, you’ve teased me enough. Please” you begged, pleading him to touch you and to work on your body the way he used to.

“So impatient” he smirked against your lips, but obliged regardless. “But okay, what ever you want princess”.

With one swift movement he had you laying on your back once again, while he shifted his body off the edge of the bed. His head began trailing wet open mouth kisses against your bare legs, slowly making his way towards your core.

“I have barely touched you and you’re so fucking wet for me princess, look at you” he mocked as he lightly dragged a finger dipping slightly between your folds before removing his hands again. He watched in amusement as your body begged for more.

“So desperate”

“Can you blame me” you breathed. “Connie I swear down, do something or so help me god I will-”

“You talk too much” Conny chuckled as his tongue finally dipped between your folds. He explored you, no, he devoured you completely and you became lost in his touch. Your breathing became laboured as he continued to attack your clit. The rolling of his tongue against you drove your mind insane. Unable to do anything else, you closed your eyes to be welcomed by a rainbow of colours, stars dancing before you as a finger was inserted into you. Your hips bucked against him letting out a loud moan that filled the silence of the room

“Oh god” you exclaimed as Connny filled your walls with another digit, pushing them deep within you. The curl of his fingers inside you made you scream, one of your own hands grasping the sheets, your knuckles almost white. Conny’s tongue once again began playing with your clit while he pumped the two digits in and out of you, the over stimulation sending you places you had never been before.

“Fuck” you moaned over and over. “Conny I’m going to cum”

“Not just yet princess” he growled against you. You panicked feeing the knot coming undone as he sped up. You frantically let out a string of lewd sounds.

“I want you to come on my fingers when I say so, can you do that for me?”

“Yes!” you breathed out, your desperation growing with each passing moment.

“Say my name y/n”

“Conny”

“Again”

“CONNY!” you screamed.

“Good girl, I want you to scream my name just like that when you cum. Make sure everyone knows who you belong to. Are you going to do that baby girl?” You nodded a yes a response.

“Cum for me princess”

Finally the knot untied with in you and your body shook against his touch uncontrollably. You had been possessed by him, his touch a drug and this was the high. The feeling spread across your core, your chest up your throat until a guttural sound dripped out of your mouth in your release.

“Connie” you moaned his name over and over as you came down from the pleasure.

“Fuck that was so hot” Conny mumbled against you.

Wasting no time, Conny was above you kissing your lips, his own coated in your juices. Before he continued to do what you both yearned for her looked into your eyes, his voiced dripped in sincerity as he asked you if it was okay for him to do this.

“yes” you whispered, he nodded in response.

His next movements sent your body into another wave of pleasure as he slowly pushed himself inside of you. Each vein you could feel against your walls had you feeling greedy needing more of him inside of you. Your legs wrapped themselves around his waist bringing you both closer. Conny attached his lips to your lips as you both found your rhythm. Each thrust coming in harder than the last until the gentleness that had been present before had become completely eradicated. Conny flipped you so you were now on all fours as he inserted himself again earning a cry from you as his cock spread your walls apart making you lose your mind.

“Fuck, yes Conny just like that” you moaned loudly.

“You feel so fucking good y/n” he grunted as both of his hands came to steady himself on your hips as he drove himself further into you.

Conny lifted your body up so your back was firmly pressed against his chest as he continued to pound your walls into oblivion. One of his hands roughly grabbed your breast while the other rubbed circles around your clit. You couldn’t even put words together anymore as you felt yourself come undone under his touch for the second time.

“Don’t you dare cum until I do. We are cumming together princess” he growled harshly in to your ear. You moaned in return.

His thrusts started to become sloppier and slower burying himself deep inside you, you knew he was on the edge so you grinded against him earning a low grunt.

“Fuck y/n”.

His pace quickened on your clit in response, with one of your hands now grasping at his hair as you tried to contain yourself from orgasming.

“Now baby girl”

With that you both came undone as you felt him unload his warm substance deep within you whilst your body exploded in pleasure for the second time that night.

Both of you breathing heavily, you collapsed onto the bed in unison.

“I want you to know that I never stopped loving you y/n. What I did is unforgivable but from now on I hope I can atone my actions and show you how much you have always meant to me”.

For now you weren’t sure how to respond, you didn’t exactly want to let him off the hook, but you wanted to savour your time with him. If one thing was true it was that you could both be ripped away from each other at any given moment; so instead of saying anything you kiss him bringing your body into his as he adjusts his arms around your waist.

“We will talk about it back home, for now I want to spend this moment with you and live in ignorant bliss with you”.

You both fell asleep in each other’s arms that night, feeling okay for the first time in two years.

184 notes · View notes

ghostmartyr · 4 years

Text

SnK 133 Thoughts

They’re trying to stop the apocalypse but they’re dummy traumatized and the clap of their sins keeps alerting the glow tree.

Kids, just remember: Body count doesn’t matter, it’s how you feel while producing that body count. If you’ve killed people to stop genocide, you are not immune to being party to genocide. ⭑⭒⋆

I’m being reductive because I’m not too eager to go over how not all murder is created equal again.

Going by a good faith read, I do think what the narrative is attempting to establish is that these characters all know what it’s like to be backed into a corner and do desperate things they’re horrified by.

Putting aside the extra psychological difficulties of his childhood preceding the choice to knock down the wall, Reiner believes he’s saving humanity. There’s an island full of devils, and he’s attacking them. He, Bertolt, and Annie are dumb kids who do what they’re told. Because they think it’s right, or because they want to go home, or just because they are dumb kids.

Armin’s killed plenty of people with the power of the Colossus. He can’t plead innocence; he attacks Liberio’s port intentionally, knowing exactly what terror the people on the ground will be going through.

Connie kills the friends he’s trained with for years, when the worst thing about Reiner and Bertolt revealing themselves is feeling betrayed by comrades he loves.

None of this is directly equivalent. Dumb children at war are trying their best. Always, this conflict has been orchestrated above their pay grade. RAB get abandoned behind enemy lines and are told to make the best of it. Armin destroys Marley’s port because Marley will not stop going after Paradis, and Eren has forced a renewed conflict that they need to move against fast. Connie betrays his friends because they’re okay with letting the rest of the world die.

No one on this ship has enjoyed any of this. They have consistently been doing their best with the information given to them while people with more power drag them into fights that never should have happened.

Shiganshina falls because Marley chooses to murder Paradis.

Liberio falls because Eren turns himself into Paradis’ only hope and puts himself into a situation he can’t win alone.

In the crudest way of putting it, these people are grunts. They’re not the ones who picked the game being played. They’re the ones being manipulated into war after war.

That’s why they look at each other without counting the bodies. It isn’t the scale of their actions that hits at this moment, it’s the decisions they’ve made to be part of it. They choose to keep fighting. When it creates an outcome they hate, what can they say? ‘Look what you made me do’?

Whatever their reasons, and whoever set up the board, they are the ones who participate. In this case, pure moral imperative is the driving force. Daz and Samuel die because they’re willing to let genocide go uncontested. That’s on them.

Guilt doesn’t work like that, though. Daz and Samuel die because they are killed. Connie kills them. He betrays their trust.

All of this is to say that the people on the ship truly do understand each other perfectly, even despite the difference in scale. It’s a bit on the nose, but I don’t think anything they’re going through is at odds with the people they are.

Applying that feeling to Eren is a feat of misguided grace that... hell, I don’t know.

As a human person, I like grace as a concept and want more of it. I don’t want the world to burn, I want the burning to stop, and for everyone to be okay in the end even if they don’t deserve it. A world where we all get precisely what we deserve seems an incredibly dark place to me. That doesn’t leave room for mercy or kindness. You get what you earn, and nothing more.

The more time we spend on this portion of the story, the more I’m inclined to think that the themes agree with me. Our heroes at this point aren’t full of the rage they’re entitled to. Every inch of them is tired, and they’re not here for more death. They’re willing to keep going, but even the thought of killing Eren, when he’s massacred thousands, makes them all hesitate.

Everyone wants to go home and have the fighting stop.

That’s all.

Whatever happened, and whose fault it is -- forget all of it, just give them a place to rest and have it be over.

Thematically, yay. I approve. Beautiful. We start out with a series that makes a name for itself almost entirely on the back of the spectacle of violence, and after years of participating in that violence, the main cast wants nothing to do with it anymore. Love it.

Within the plot, I am not in the mood to have Eren’s traumatized friends apologize for not understanding him.

I get it.

I get why they all feel this way.

I do not like reading it.

They’re projecting their own guilt on someone who has shown a reckless disregard for their lives and sanity.

They’re trying to reach Eren as a human being and friend when he’s done his absolute best to make himself unreachable.

That’s sort of the point Reiner thinks is being made. Eren has intentionally set them up as his adversary so that if he has to be doing all of this, maybe there’s still a chance someone can stop him.

Okay, fine.

It falls short for the same reason all of Eren’s stuff is falling short.

We don’t actually know what the fuck is going on with him. We’re guessing.

You know those picture puzzles you do as a kid? Draw a line from bubble 1 to bubble 2 to bubble 3, and eventually you will make a bunny. Or a dog, or flowers, or something that looks like a picture in the sloppy mess of numbers.

Eren’s general portrayal matches that of a toddler who doesn’t yet know his numbers, and understands the instructions to be that he’s trying to get to the last bubble by scribbling lines through all the other bubbles.

Look, it’s a bunny.

And Eren’s friends are all like, oh wow, that’s such a good job! We’re going to put it on the fridge!

Then people come over and are like, why is there a constellation of a deer jumping through a house on the fridge, but they hear the child did it and immediately are like, oh yeah, that’s the best bunny I’ve ever seen, I can’t draw like that.

The child, being a child, is like, ‘Damn right. I’m going to be in bunny museums.’

Meanwhile, I’m just going to come out and say it.

It’s not a fucking bunny.

What it is, I don’t know, but it is not a bunny, stop calling it a bunny, it is actively erasing the knowledge of what a bunny looks like in my mind.

So ends this skit on what Eren’s portrayal has been like.

Eren has decided that this is all necessary. He doesn’t like it, and wants someone to stop him, but he is totally going to do it, and he knows he’s going to do it because future vision told him so and he’s really sad about that even though he’s emotionally in a place where genocide sounds like the only way out but that is wrong.

I think I’ve said before that Eren getting to this place mentally isn’t too off the rails. His sanity has been deteriorating with each mission, and he’s nineteen. Snapping like this could arguably be expected.

But the last we see of Eren’s thoughts, we still have this back and forth of how he refuses to yield the future to fate, but he already feels condemned by that future because he chooses to cause it.

Eren is clearly trapped by this web of contradictions, but his motivational core is so obstructed that it’s hard to actually connect to. It is easier to say that Eren’s gone off the deep end than it is to spend any amount of time asking how Point A became Point 3.

That’s frustrating, as a reader. I don’t want to be told a story, I want to experience it.

Eren’s experiences are not universal.

I need some hand-holding here. There needs to be a few more clear indications of Eren The Person, and how the individual we know wrapped around to making these choices.

Hooray, he’s not taking away their powers.

The guy he let run his cult still nearly killed all of them.

Hooray, he’s protecting his island.

He just actively courted an international incident so everyone wants the island dead.

Yes, Eren thinks that hope is lost before he makes these choices. That’s how moving forward drags him to this place; he doesn’t have the vision to imagine a world where this isn’t happening.

If you don’t fight, you can’t win, and Eren’s still fighting. But he’s forgotten what winning looks like. All he knows is the dreary march forward.

I would like for that to be explicit, not me extrapolating. Because even as I’m typing all of that, and feeling like it makes sense, it has the confidence of tissue paper, and I know my numbers, but half the numbers making this bunny were missing, and I’m not an artist.

The story I’m digging around here for is one I could like, but I don’t trust that it’s actually the one being told, because too much feels unexplained and weird. You can’t just make your main character nuts and use that as an excuse for anything.

Well, okay, you can.

You shouldn’t.

Please don’t do that.

Which I guess leads us to Eren and OG Ymir doing a Shining twins thing.

Here is my wild speculation.

The Attack Titan is the only Titan capable of resisting the Founder. It cannot be controlled, it simply continues forward, fighting for freedom.

When Eren talks to Ymir, her eyes losing their shadows are the cue for him taking full control of the Founder.

Now we’re back here, and her eyes are shadowed again, with Eren’s joining the ride.

I think that where we’re going to end up is that Eren’s mental fragility made him incredibly susceptible to the Attack Titan’s core nature, and enough of that nature aligned with Eren’s that everything except pursuing a way forward fell away. The Attack Titan is Ymir’s furious will, and she’s had it suppressed for 2000 years. I don’t think either one is emotionally capable of surfacing and deciding to resist the urge to march forward and destroy this world that has cursed them so.

Making my theory that yeah, okay, Eren’s lost it, but he lost it with the help of ancient plot magic, which we are now seeing the full extent of.

Does that have any basis in anything?

Who the fuck knows.

But one thing is very clear: Eren’s not free.

“In order to gain my own freedom... I will take freedom away from the world. [...] You are all free.”

The Attack Titan “has always moved ahead, seeking freedom. It has fought on for freedom.”

Eren, embodiment of the Attack Titan, is the first one to hear Ymir in 2000 years. Going with the vaguely logical theory that Titans are all pieces of Ymir herself, the Attack Titan is the part that rebels against every indignity she bows to in life.

Zeke frees the Founder from its promise of peace. Eren frees Ymir from the chains tying her to the royal family’s will.

All that’s left is 2000 years of trauma, and the ability and will, for the first time, to lash out.

It’s not what you’d call surprising.

It’s the getting here that I take issue with. Now that we’re here, yeah, got it. But I really don’t feel like Eren’s journey here has been done well enough to capture the emotional rawness that is trying to be accessed. His friends are shouting for someone who is effectively dead, for all the presence he’s showing.

Then you’ve got Annie and Kiyomi sad.

ON A BOAT.

While Falco wants to be a Titan with WIIIIIIIIIIINGS.

Kiddos, you’re very cute, and I support you not wanting to sit still and do nothing while the world is ending, but I can’t begin to express how little I care.

Except that your families are alive and you two and Annie deserve to be reunited.

SO FINE, OKAY, FALCO CAN HAVE HIS WINGS AND SAY HI TO HIS PARENTS AND GABI CAN SAY HI TO HER PARENTS AND ANNIE CAN SAY HI TO HER DAD AND IT’LL ALL BE FINE DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE GOING TO DO ABOUT EREN?

BECAUSE YEAH, I’M SURE THE AIRSHIPS ARE JUST GOING TO SPLODE HIM AND END ALL OF THIS AND EVERYONE WILL HOLD HANDS AND SING SONGS THAT THE EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED AND THAT WILL BE THE END OF IT.

Conversation: FAILED

Attack: probably FAILED

GO AHEAD, MANGA. SHOW ME THE DEUS EX MACHINA. I’M NOT GOING TO LIKE IT, BUT I AM PREPARED FOR IT.

inb4 yeah they just are going to bomb Eren with Armin that’s how we end this.

133 status: Still Looking For A Win Condition (This Ain’t It Chief)

#Shingeki no Kyojin #SnK 133 #shingeki no spoilers #SnK spoilers #Survey Corps #tl;dr #chapter post

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bitterepiphany · 3 years

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my thoughts on 139

part 1 of 2

***big spoilers for 139 and the manga***

so, i read 139.... and as much as, yeah, it's disappointing (imo), and yeah, it doesn't really make sense (again, imo), this is what isayama gave us, and there's nothing we can do to change it, despite our complaints. THIS is the ending we got, and ill be damned if i don't try and at least understand it

and a disclaimer: these are entirely MY opinions, if you disagree, that's fine! these are just my thoughts and analysis on the chapter and it's perfectly okay if you have different opinions about it. also, this is going to be quite long, just a warning

so i'd like to start by saying that none of us actually know what eren saw back in chapter 90 when he kissed historia's hand. throughout the whole wfp arc we've seen eren (mostly) from an outside perspective. his true motivations have, for the most part, only been revealed to us through the reactions and perceptions of others. take chapter 123 for example, when armin figures out that eren is actually on their side by activating the rumbling, but then is confused as to why he tore down all of the walls, rather than just the one in shiganshina

i guess the way i'm trying to rationalise it is through what eren is desiring to be the outcome of this situation. he cares for his friends. we know this. he loves them more than anything. it seems to me that he is aware of his friend's desires. the people of paradis are in an impossible situation. if they activate the rumbling, they kill off all the other humans outside of the island. if they don't, they all get massacred by marley and the other world forces. so here, eren is trying to give them a solution that doesn't mean (entire) world genocide. he knows that armin and his friends don't support the rumbling, but also understands the cost of the freedom he so desperately wishes his friends to have. so he comes to a compromise - set off the rumbling, make his friends the saviours of the world, and prove to the rest of humanity that they were wrong in thinking that all of the people on paradis were 'devils'.

armin makes a good point here. did eren really have to go this far? and eren's lack of response is really answer enough for us. we don't know. it's not something for us to know. it just is.

so enter the founder ymir. this is one of the only parts of this chapter that really make sense to me and i'm able to piece together in my head. ymir was in love with king fritz. that's something that has already been established. we've all wondered why ymir didn't just break the restrictions holding her as basically a slave to fritz when she was so powerful. and as much as it might seem cringey and boring, it was simply love. since she gained her titan power, ymir was (however superficially and non-genuinely) acknowledged. and after being a kicked-upon slave her whole life, being acknowledged and valued by the king would have been incredible for her. so it does make sense that she would fall in love with the only one who (presumably) gave her life any value.

and love makes us do stupid things. we hold onto the things we love, even if we know that it brings us more hardship than happiness. and that's what ymir was experiencing. she couldn't stop loving king fritz, even though it brought her pain. and that's tragic.

ymir was a slave to love. love didn't mean freedom to her. enter mikasa. mikasa, who has never been a slave to anything in her life. mikasa, who has loved eren unconditionally, and has chosen to love eren, despite his urgings for her to forget him. now, i see the differences in ymir and mikasa's love as being the choice to love. ymir saw her love as restrictive and painful, and wished to be free from it. mikasa actively chose to love eren, despite everything, and was still 'free', so to say - proven by her wrapping the scarf around herself in 138, choosing not to forget eren, because she loved him. and it's quite poignant to me because it is her choice, and her choice alone that makes her do this.

so maybe ymir was waiting for someone who could show her that love isn't just the pain she's become accustomed to, and that love can be pure and freeing, rather than restrictive. maybe that's why ymir was standing and smiling as mikasa kissed eren, because she saw the pure love that mikasa had for him, and how she chose him freely. maybe mikasa was that person who showed her how love wasn't necessarily a bad thing. but again, it's not something we will ever know for certain, and as eren says:

now that's just my interpretation of this whole 'ymir was waiting for mikasa' thing, and there are still some things that don't really make that much sense to me, but that's how i'm rationalising it.

the power's of the founding titan have clearly taken a massive toll on eren. he now exists in all of time itself. as he says, he's just trying to reach an end goal, and even doing that is extremely taxing for him due to the past, present, and future he is experiencing all at once. and i believe that end goal is split into two different parts - eren helping ymir find mikasa; and eren trying to find the best possible outcome for his friends in regards to paradis' fate. he has seen the future, and that future meant the inevitable rumbling, so that was what he had to achieve.

i've always held the belief that eren is a 'slave to freedom', doing everything he can to achieve the freedom he so desperately wants. but now it seems that eren is a slave to the freedom of his friends, and the freedom of the founder ymir, rather than the freedom of himself. and honestly? that kinda contradicts what his character has been up to this point, but again, that's just my opinion.

so eren made the dina titan eat his mum instead of bertholdt. i'm not quite sure why everyone is so caught up on this fact? yes, it's a horrible thing. but you can clearly tell that this was not an easy thing for eren to do. it explains why bertholdt was ignored after he came out of his titan, and wouldn't doing this give eren the drive he needs to have, the hatred that is necessary for him to 'keep moving foward'? i remind you all that eren massacred 80% of the human race; what makes you think he is going to stop his goals simply because he doesn't want his mother to die. but if his mother hadn't died, would eren be where he is today? i don't think so.

these next few pages make me sad. now, this is just me trying to make sense of what happens, not me saying that this is a good thing that isayama did with eren's character. i think here, we see eren as something he tries hard not to acknowledge - human. i think a lot of us forget that eren is only a young 19 year old boy, who has the fate of the world thrust in his hands. did he ask for this? no.

no, eren is only trying to follow the path that was set out for him, but that doesn't mean he has to like it. he's so young, and he loves mikasa and the rest of his friends so much that it hurts him to have to make the choice to be away from them. while he does work for the greater purpose of freedom, and actively chooses to do this and make choices because of this, he is still bound to yearn and long for the things he could have had - just like the little alternate reality we got in 138 about living the rest of his life in peace with mikasa. like he says, he wants mikasa to live happily, but it hurts him to acknowledge that his death is the only way to bring that about (in his opinion, at least).

here, eren is reminded of why he has made the choices leading up to this moment. freedom. that is what he is striving for. even if the founder's powers are messing up his head and making him unsure of why he even did all this, he did it for freedom.

now, i'm not gonna address the 'thanks for being a murderer for us' line. i can't explain that one. it just doesn't make any sense to me and i'm not gonna try and make it make sense. sorry.

i'm only allowed 10 images per post so this will just be part 1!

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #chapter139 #snk chapter 139 #eren jeager #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #levi ackerman #annie leonhardt #jean kirschtien #connie springer #reiner braun #pieck finger #gabi braun #falco grice #aot spoilers #snk spoilers #snk 139 #ugh

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bnhayyy · 3 years

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Painful Truths

Wordcount: 6.6k

Series Tag: Click

Ao3 Link: Click

Notes: The second fic in this series! Re-posted because an error was keeping my posts from showing up in the tags when I originally posted it.

Summary: Reiner found out that he wasn't who he thought he was and became a warrior for his family's sake. Two years later, his mission is to assist the other warriors in retrieving the founding titan. It should be fairly straightforward. His history with them makes it complicated.

Or;

After inheriting the armored titan, Reiner travels to Paradis to join the other warriors, where he struggles with who he is and what he needs them to believe.

There had always been a little bit of tension in his family. It was faint enough that he could forget it was there most of the time. He'd only remember in the odd moments, like when his mother told him that she expected great things from him, yet her face flickered with fear when he said that he was going to climb up the ranks of Marley's military. Or when he'd asked who his father was and she'd been too quick to brush the question off. Those odd moments were rare though, and the tension they created was obscured in the shadow of warmth and contentment.

Now the room was cold and the tension unignorable, for it had long since dragged them all down.

It was amazing how things could change in a relatively short period of time.

Two years ago, Reiner had been a proud member of the Marleyan Junior Military. Now...

Now, he could barely recognize himself. In more ways than one.

His family hadn't featured heavily in his life for the past two years. They played the most important role in it, but that didn't mean he had seen them. His life had been a constant haze of training and struggling and trying not to think too heavily about what had happened or what was to come. (Trying not to think about himself.) There had been a few visits with his family as they settled into the Internment Zone, but they were infrequent, short, and closely monitored.

It wasn't any wonder that none of them could seem to think of anything to say.

Reiner couldn't bring himself to look at anyone for too long. His aunt's face was sympathetic, pitying, but with a hint of indistinct bitterness hidden just behind her eyes. His uncle was tense and angry. Not angry at Reiner; his expression shifted into something closer to discomfort when he looked at him. The anger ignited in his gaze when he looked at his mother.

Karina Braun was seated as far away as she could get from all parties at the circular table - or maybe it was as far as they could get from her. Although she shifted and fidgeted, lips even twitching like she might say something a few times, her expression was largely shuttered off. If she was feeling any anger, any guilt, she was certainly hiding it too well for Reiner to tell.

It hurt, but he couldn't say that it was a surprising hurt anymore.

He loved his mother. He'd also had two years to get used to the fact that she was a liar.

There was one person at the table who was harder to read than his mother though. His five-year-old cousin sat tucked closely up against her mother, staring down at the table. Her face was totally obscured from view, just as it had been the entire short-but-too-long time that he had been there so far. He wasn't all too sure what to make of that.

Maybe that was why he thought it would be a good idea to try and talk to her.

Reiner cleared his throat, then tentatively began, "Gabi-"

He didn't get any further. Gabi's head snapped up to reveal red-rimmed eyes that glittered with hurt, accusation, and disgust; a fury that made his words die in his mouth. "Don't talk to me, devil!" she spat.

Quick as a flash, the girl pushed herself out of her chair and raced out of the room. His uncle called out to her and moved to follow, and Reiner - Reiner just watched. All he could do was watch. An indescribable feeling had wormed its way into his chest, squeezing his lungs and making him feel queasy at the same time. It was something like hurt, but tinted by acceptance, the knowledge that he couldn't really blame her for what she was saying, could not protest it.

Mostly, it made him feel sick.

His aunt turned to him with wide eyes that seemed caught somewhere between panic and desperation. "I'm so sorry, Reiner," she said. He couldn't help but notice that it was one of the first times she'd said his name since - before. "I don't know what she-"

"It's fine," Reiner cut her off. He smiled, a movement of the lips that should have been simple, but felt stiff and jerky. "She's within her rights."

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his mother sit up a little straighter. He wondered, then, how she would have reacted if he had gone as far as to say 'she's right'. Because Gabi was right; he couldn't very well get upset with her for calling him a devil when he could turn into a monster in the blink of an eye. When he had gotten that power by being turned into a mindless beast and devouring someone. What did you call someone like that if not a devil in human form?

His aunt frowned. "She isn't-"

Reiner tried a different tactic. "These past two years haven't been easy on her, right? She's five years old, and as far as she's concerned, I'm the reason this happened. She has the right to be upset."

Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed his uncle re-approach the room, only to stop and linger in the entryway.

His aunt's expression softened marginally. "This isn't your fault," she said. Her gaze slid over to his mother, where it sharpened into something accusatory. For her part, his mother's jaw stiffened and her gaze darted down, but she didn't say anything.

"Lyra," his uncle grumbled.

"Well, someone had to say something," his aunt snapped.

Reiner forced a thin smile. "I should be going," he lied.

His aunt nodded, the conflict that danced across her features whenever she saw him momentarily falling away in favor of a singularly somber expression. "Good luck," she said.

"Thanks," Reiner murmured. He moved to stand, only for his mother to mimic the action.

He froze, his mind going blank despite his desperate scramble to figure out how to react. That hesitation cost him. "Reiner," his mother began.

Thankfully, the sound of her voice snapped him back to his senses. He took a step back and shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I need to be back soon," he insisted.

It was a blatant lie. He had been given permission to take all night on this visit if he wanted, since it would probably be his last one before being shipped out to Paradis. That was why it wasn't monitored either; a gesture of consideration for Marley's newest living weapon. However, he suddenly wished that it was timed and monitored. At least there would have been an excuse for the tense and broken atmosphere. Instead, there was this, an uncomfortable meeting filled with unspoken words and painful looks, a testament to how very wrong things had gone.

He wondered if it would get better with him gone.

He wondered if it was possible for it to get worse.

Reiner turned to head out of the room. The sound of footsteps alerted him to his mother following him. He didn't stop or turn to face her, just kept walking - out of the room, into the hallway, over to the doorway. Nearly out of the shoddy little house in the internment zone that his family had been relegated to. Almost out of this uncomfortable situation.

Yet he stopped when he reached the door. Seconds later, a hand reached out to grasp him by the shoulder.

Reiner closed his eyes and, just for a moment, allowed himself to feel tired. Not scared - he couldn't afford to be scared for even a moment, not when he was so close to being sent out and making himself useful and proving that he wasn't evil - but tired. The past couple of years had drained him in a way that he had never expected and he wanted nothing more than to run home and curl up and sleep, or maybe run away completely. It was hard to tell one want from the other these days. He couldn't afford to do that though. For his family's sake, he had to keep pushing through.

That would probably mean horrible things while he was at Paradis. Things that he couldn't even begin to imagine. For now, it meant facing his mother.

He opened his eyes and turned around. His mother had a sad look on her face. It made her look far older than she was, putting stress around her eyes and lines around her lips. Seeing it made a pang of pain echo in Reiner's chest. He wanted to apologize, to say something that would make her feel better. There was nothing he could think of that felt like it would actually do anything to help though. Nothing he could say would change what he was, what was happening, or what would happen if he failed.

Worse yet, despite the sadness that her expression planted inside him, he couldn't shake the feeling that she should be the one to say something. A horrible emptiness in his chest that couldn't be filled by anything he said simply because he would be the one saying it.

They only stood there without saying anything for a second. He knew it was only a second, but it still managed to feel like forever. That forever grew impossibly longer when his mother moved to open her mouth. Reiner's chest still ached, but now there was something that almost felt like hope twining at the edges of that ache.

"Come home safe," she said.

Reiner smiled, a simple motion of the lips that he could feel didn't reach his eyes. Tried not to feel how the emptiness in his chest got a little bit bigger, because there were more important things to focus on. Forced himself not to think about how there was no such thing as safe for him, because at least he could make sure that there was for his family.

"I will," he said.

Reiner had come to terms with the fact that his mother was a liar.

He hated that he couldn't tell if he was one as well.

***

Paradis was haunting.

There were no people beyond the dropoff point; just the lumbering devils meant to entrap the more human-looking ones behind the walls. He'd known to expect it, but actually seeing it was something else entirely. Actually seeing them.

For the first several titans, he kept wanting to freeze up. To stop and stare. The only thing that stopped him was the instructions that had been drilled firmly into his head. He was to stay in his titan form for as long as he could physically bear and run. Hide if he reached a point where he absolutely could bear it any longer and had to leave his titan, but do not actually rest except for at night, and always get moving again before the sun rose. Keep up the momentum until he reached the second of the devil's walls.

Magath hadn't said as much, not blatantly, but Reiner understood. He would be running for his life until he was inside the walls.

Not even the holders of one of the nine were truly safe from being devoured. And if that happened to him, he would have failed in his mission before he'd even truly begun.

It took him until he was nearly at the third wall - the broken wall - to get used to the titans and fall into a rhythm. By that point, it was almost easy.

It stopped being such after he reached it.

Actually getting inside was an easy affair. All he had to do was come in through the giant hole that had to have been made by Bertolt. It was what he saw once he was inside that almost made him falter.

Paradis as a whole was haunting. The abandoned third wall was something else entirely.

The ruins of a town greeted him; some of the larger buildings still standing tall while others, namely houses and shops, laid collapsed beneath rumble and the impact of giant feet. A handful of titans wandered the area, hopelessly searching for humans amidst wreckage that had long since been picked clean. If he stopped to look, he was sure that he would have even found bodies from people who had died before the titans could reach them.

He didn't stop to look. Reiner barely allowed himself to take in the sight of the town, or process the uncomfortable twinge in his gut, before continuing on to the hole that lead to the inner wall. It was ragged and rough, only just large enough for the largest of the mindless titans to get through. One look was enough to tell him that it was the cart titan’s - Pieck’s - work. Her titan wasn’t built for brute force, but it was dexterous that she could have torn the gate down and ravaged the weakened structure surrounding it until the hole was large enough. The whole thing probably took less than a minute.

(Less than a minute to cause all this devastation.)

None of the places he passed in there were quite as ravaged as the site of the initial breach. Even so, they were ghost towns, each showing their own signs of devastation and all void of human life. Reiner didn't let himself pay much attention to any of them. Instead, as he pushed through that last stretch of desolate land, he started to think about the warriors.

Marcel had been the leader. How were the other three managing without him? He knew that they had trained for years, having watched them and now actually felt his own version of it, so he knew that they shouldn't have let the mission fall apart completely. None of them would have been able to step up and fill Marcel's shoes though. They just couldn't. That meant that they had to be struggling, that they must have veered off their path.

It was supposed to be Reiner's job to get them back on that path. However, as the second wall drew into sight, a horrible thought occurred to him. He had barely interacted with any of the other warriors without Marcel present, and never in a friendly way.

Marcel wouldn't be inside that wall though. Only him.

***

Wall Maria had fallen over two years ago, yet its loss still echoed throughout Wall Rose.

Reiner had been told the names of the walls before he left for Paradis, but they never really seemed to stick before. They were just walls. Being inside them made them something more. He wasn't sure he liked it, but it gave them a weight and presence greater than the thought of them had ever carried back on the mainland. It was so ingrained into the people of this place that even he could feel it. And hear it. With how often the names of those walls were murmured within this place, it was impossible to think about any of them without attaching a name. Even Wall Maria.

Especially Wall Maria.

There were refugees everywhere. Two years after the fall of Wall Maria and many of them simply hadn't been able to find a place within Wall Rose - especially the children. The communal hostels that served as refugee housing were overflowing with them - again, especially children.

It was after he noticed all the children that he noticed just how few adult refugees there were, comparatively. Then he remembered that Wall Maria had been the largest of the walls. And he realized that there were too few refugees in general.

Reiner fought down the chill that threatened to creep up his spine. He reminded himself that the territory was absolutely flooded with titans. It made sense that not a lot of people would have gotten out alive. And if, even after taking that into consideration, it still didn't make sense... These were island devils. He wouldn't be surprised to hear that they had done something horrible in the name of maintaining resources. They had probably been happy to turn on each other.

(He had gotten a few concerned looks when people realized he was alone, but those had to be flukes. Everyone knew that these people didn't truly care for their children, and even in a world where they did, he was fourteen now. More than old enough for war.)

The hostels were uncomfortable. Even after two years, the air in them was heavy with grief and despair. It was too many people in too close of quarters, a lack of space causing everyone's losses bleeding into everyone else's. Yet because it had been two years, he also glimpsed rare flickers of joy and laughter. It molded into an odd sort of dichotomy that clawed at his skin and made it itch in a way he couldn't quite describe.

Even if he didn't like the hostels, they were useful. The warriors had to be posing as refugees. That meant that if he searched them all, he would eventually find them. The fact that he was supposed to find them quickly didn't cause as much stress as he had almost expected it to. Moving quickly just meant that he had to abandon a hostel as soon as he'd confirmed that they weren't in it, and he didn't like to linger anyway.

(Thoughts happened when he lingered around those people for too long. For a second or two, he'd almost forget that these were island devils, that they deserved what they were getting. He'd almost see them as people.

He almost felt sorry for them.)

***

It took him a few weeks to find them.

When he did, he immediately realized that he was going to need one more day.

He hadn't planned on taking the extra time. The plan had been to walk right over to them, get them to agree to talk somewhere private, and then explain the situation - or as much of the situation as he was allowed to explain.

Then he caught a glimpse of Annie Leonhart in a food line.

It was definitely her. Even after two years, Reiner had no trouble recognizing her. After spending the past weeks scouring Wall Rose for her, Bertolt, and Pieck, he knew it was her in a heartbeat. The trouble was that just as he had been searching for them for weeks, he had been readying himself for the confrontation that was to come for even longer. He should have been prepared. Yet the second he saw her, something in his chest seized up and everything came crashing down on him all at once.

Icy blue eyes turned his way, and he turned around and ran off before they could meet his own

Reiner tucked himself into his cubby in the latest hostel - the one that he now knew probably housed them as well, and forced himself to breathe. He also tried not to think. On that account, he was a miserable failure. Thoughts came crashing down over him with the force of a tsunami, everything that he'd been trying to keep out of his mind for so long. Everything that he couldn't allow himself to think.

The people on this island deserved what had happened to them because they were Eldian. He shouldn't feel sorry for them because they were Eldian. Except he was part Eldian now. It was true that they were island Eldians, that they were supposed to be worse than the mainland Eldians, but... the truth was, back when he was able to call himself Marleyan, he'd never really cared about the difference between the island Eldians and the ones in the internment zone. He knew in the abstract sense that there were truly evil, monstrous people off on the island, but the knowledge that the mainland Eldians were better than them never really affected the way he treated them.

It never affected the way he treated the warrior candidates.

Marley said that the people on this island deserved what had happened to them because of what they were, but the truth was, the mainland Eldians were only a single step above them in their eyes. And now Reiner was one of them.

Except he wasn't. He was a warrior now, the armored titan.

He was a warrior now, and he'd always treated the warriors like the other Eldians. Special Eldians, living weapons, useful tools for Marley and interesting things to stare at, but Eldians nonetheless. He'd treated them like the other mainland Eldians, and in Marley's eyes, the mainland Eldians were truly only a single step up from the islanders. And Reiner was like them.

Reiner was a devil. A devil and a hypocrite. And now the other warriors were going to find out.

Reiner held a hand over his mouth to hold back a scream or a gag - he wasn't sure which.

They might not remember, he frantically reminded himself. Now that he brought it up, he realized that he needed them not to remember. He was very specifically not supposed to tell anyone about his heritage, the warriors included. If they wanted an explanation, he wouldn't be able to provide one. Of course, even if they did remember, even if they wanted an explanation, it wouldn't matter. He was there on Marley's orders, which meant that they couldn't reject his presence. Whatever they ultimately thought of him, he would just have to live with it and continue the mission.

That was the scariest part. Even if he'd tried to avoid thinking about the finer details of his reuniting with the warriors, their past together and the possibility of grudges and the implications, he'd known that it was inevitable. It was also only one event. That had made it easier to avoid thinking about it. Even now that he felt like he was drowning in the reality of it, it made it a little easier to accept that he would have to walk up to the warriors and (re)introduce himself. It was just one thing, and once it was done, it was done.

But he wouldn't be done afterward.

There was nothing that could happen to change the nature of his existence. There was nothing he could do to change whatever they may think of him. He would always be a devil who hadn't been for the first twelve years of his life, and he would always know that there was no going back. Even if he succeeded in this mission, he would never be what he had been before. He knew that. He had tried so hard not to think about it, but he knew it. His family knew it as well. Even though he would fight for them, when the time came for them to return to society, he wouldn't be able to go with them. He would always be this. And now Bertolt and Annie and... Pieck... and...

Marcel.

Marcel would never learn the truth. Reiner couldn't bring himself to be happy about it, considering the reason why. He also refused to wonder about how he would have reacted if he had been able to find out. Even now, that thought remained firmly locked behind a wall in his mind. Yet behind that wall and the increased pain in his chest, the thought of Marcel brought with it an unexpected ray of light.

Marcel had been an Eldian and he'd been alright.

...No. He had been more than alright. Marcel had been a good person. He had been an Eldian, but he had deserved better than to be eaten by some random titan on this hellish island.

Reiner wished he had allowed Marcel to be his friend when he had the chance.

It had been so easy to dismiss Marcel's friendliness at the moment. Now that he looked back, he could see that it wasn't a convoluted act, and he wasn't doing it to try and win points with an Eldian. He probably would have been better off if he had just left him alone, all things considered. But he hadn't, because that just wasn't what he was like. Marcel was the sort of person who reached out and made people's lives better.

The warriors had to be lost without Marcel, and Reiner didn't know how he could live with himself going forward. But if he just became Marcel...

Maybe all their problems would be solved.

***

Reiner sought the warriors out the next day.

He didn't bother leaving the hostel. The sun was barely breaking over the horizon; they would probably be inside, and this was the only refugee housing within the area. They had to be there. More than simple logic, it was a feeling in his gut. This would be the day he joined them.

Indeed, it didn't take long for him to find them. Pieck Finger was sitting on a cot, legs dangling over the side. It was pushed up close to another cot, only about two feet of room between them there most cots had about five or six. Two people were sitting in the space between the cots. Reiner could make out the side of Bertolt Hoover's face. By his shoulder, barely peeking over the edge of Pieck's cot, was a blonde head of hair that had to be Annie Leonhart.

For a moment, Reiner felt a lump in his throat and a stutter in his heart. Then he forced himself not to feel them and did what Marcel would have.

He stepped forward and smiled.

The warriors were deep in a whispered conversation. Pieck's expression was casual, a small grin on her face, but he thought he could catch faint notes of stress. Bertolt looked worried, but that was hardly an uncommon expression on him. Similarly, Annie's expression was as unreadable as he remembered, although her eyes were sharp and alert. Their attention firmly trained on each other, it looked like they hadn't noticed him yet.

(They hadn't noticed him yet. He could still run away.)

Reiner cleared his throat.

All three of them looked his way immediately. However, it took a little while for their brains to process what they were seeing.

Pieck was the fastest. Over the course of a few seconds, her smile faded into a frown. He thought he might have seen something shadowed surface in her eyes, but as he watched her, he realized that for all of his attempts at observation, he hadn't paid enough attention to the cart titan to be able to accurately read her now. Meanwhile, Bertolt's eyes widened and his expression switched from vague worry to undeniable fear.

Annie was the slowest to process. She stared at him blankly for several seconds after her comrades had reacted. However, just as Reiner began to think that maybe she wouldn't, just as the anxiety writhing under his skin began to turn into a sting rather than a burn and he started to prepare himself to speak, her eyes flared with recognition. She rushed to her feet, and suddenly Reiner was pinned to the cold cement floor, Annie kneeling on his chest with an arm pressed against his throat.

"Annie!" Bertolt cried.

"What are you doing here?" Annie spat.

Reiner knew what he was supposed to say. Marley had drilled it into him, and just in case it somehow wasn't enough, he'd stayed up the entire night before going over and perfecting his script. Yet now that he was being asked, he couldn't find the words.

Part of it was the pounding of his heart, the feelings that he wasn't supposed to feel and trying so desperately to lock away. Most of it was the sudden lack of air in his lungs, the arm on his throat, and the knee pressed against his sternum.

He couldn't let that stop him. He was supposed to be a warrior now; he had to play his part and act like it.

"I'm..." the first word got past his throat, then died out with a wheeze. He took a gasping breath and tried again. "I'm here to help you."

Annie narrowed her eyes. Her lips parted, but the sound of gentle footsteps made her close them again. Pieck came to a stop beside Reiner's head and peered down at him for a second, gaze curious and unreadable, then said, "let him up, Annie."

Annie eyed Pieck, but didn't move.

Pieck didn't seem particularly phased. She simply jerked her head to the side and said, "let's find somewhere private to talk." Her voice, while soft, was heavy with implications.

The arm pressing against his neck made for a significant obstacle, but Reiner strained his head to peer in the direction Pieck had motioned. A small crowd was beginning to gather from the commotion. Of course. If one of the islanders overheard...

"Fine," Annie murmured.

She cast one last glare at Reiner before getting off. Neither she nor either of the other warriors offered him a hand up, and he didn't look for one. He pushed himself up off the ground and was back on his feet as soon as physically possible.

Pieck gave him one last long look, then began walking down the long line of cots that made the communal sleeping area. Reiner hesitated only for a second before following. He didn't dare look at Bertolt, who he could hear walking beside him, or Annie, who he knew was following from behind.

It was hard to ignore the eyes he could feel boring into the back of his skull, but he thought he did a decent job of at least not visibly acknowledging them.

Pieck lead them deep into the bowels of the hostel, past several little off-shooting hallways, all the way to a small, secluded room that Reiner suspected was an oversized but empty supplies closet. There, she closed the door once all three of them were inside before turning around and saying, "talk."

Reiner swallowed down his fear and forced himself to do exactly that. "Like I said before, I'm here to help you."

It wasn't enough of an explanation. He knew it wasn't much of an explanation; his plan had been to start off simply and ease his way into explaining everything. However, once the words had left his mouth, he realized that it may have been smarter of him to just get everything out at once.

Pieck's frown deepened and Bertolt managed to look even more anxious than before. Annie's narrowed in a way that suggested she was imagining slamming him into the floor again. Those eyes were what confirmed to him that he definitely should have said everything right off the bat. Unfortunately, that realization didn't come quickly enough for him to double back and add anything else.

"You. A lone, undertrained, Marleyan soldier?" Annie asked.

Reiner swallowed heavily. She was right; the scenario she painted made no sense. He shouldn't even have graduated from the Marleyan Junior Military into the military proper yet, let alone be trusted enough for a mission to Paradis. Never mind that Marleyans almost never went further than the outermost edges of the island; that was what Eldian warriors were for. It would make no sense for the Reiner she knew to be here; the Reiner she had doubtlessly just reminded her comrades of. Except...

"I don't know what you're talking about," Reiner said.

"Excuse me?" Annie asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Reiner repeated. "I'm not Marleyan."

After all of his preparation, the lie came out more smoothly than he had expected.

Terrifyingly easily.

(Probably because a portion of it was true.)

Annie's eyes widened and her lips parted as her unflappable mask fell away to shock. Bertolt's face, on the other hand, went oddly blank. He squinted at Reiner, searching for something that couldn't quite be named. Both of them were dead quiet.

Pieck was different. She took the unthinkable (yet undeniable) statement with uncanny ease, stepping forward and canting her head a little to the side. "Is that so?" she asked.

There was a glimmer in her eyes. Reiner couldn't read it, didn't know if it was good or bad, and couldn't say that he liked it. It made him think about how he had labeled Pieck odd and suspicious as a child, but mostly let her fade into the background. He wondered if he may have been wrong not to pay more attention to her. Regardless, there was nothing to be done about it.

"Yeah," Reiner said. "I'm-" His voice caught. It was just for a moment, just a few seconds, but it was a catch that he couldn't afford. Behavior like that wouldn't make sense if he really was someone else, and he needed them to believe that they were someone else. Even if it meant second-guessing their own memories. "I'm the inheritor of the armored titan; Marley sent me to help you in your mission following the loss of the Jaw."

Pieck's eyes widened. He could see the cogs turning in her mind. If only he could see what conclusion they were leading her to.

"Bullshit!" Annie cried. She stepped forward, glare boring into him with a passion that he hadn't known she was capable of. "I remember you, Reiner! You're the Marleyan asshole who-"

"You're thinking of someone else," Reiner interrupted. He couldn't tell if he was imagining the desperate edge in his voice. He hoped that he was. Desperation wouldn't bode well for his case either. Just in case, he pulled his voice back a bit, trying to go for smooth and controlled as he continued, "my name is Reiner Braun, but I can't be the person you're thinking of."

In the background, Bertolt frowned and wrinkled his brow. A seed of doubt? If it was, he couldn't afford to try and confirm or lean into it, because Annie took that moment to take another step toward him. Reiner automatically took a step back. The edge of his heel bumped against the wall as he did, informing him that he wouldn't be able to take another.

"I'm the armored titan," he insisted. "I can prove it if you want. Give me a knife, the cut will steam and heal. But I can't be who you're thinking of." He swallowed, just to make sure that his voice didn't falter again. "Marleyans can't be titans."

Pieck blinked, and for one terrifying second, Reiner thought he saw the glimmer in her eyes grow into a flash. Then she was bright and composed, her expression turned up into a smile. "You're right," she said, voice smooth and clear. "Marleyans can't be titans. Don't worry, Reiner. You don't have to do anything like that; I believe you." She shot Bertolt and Annie a glance as she added, "I don't know how you could make it all the way to Wall Rose if you weren't."

"She's right," Bertolt murmured, voice caught somewhere between shock and a revelation.

"Maybe he is," Annie said. "But that doesn't-"

"It's like he said," Pieck cut her off. "You must be thinking of someone else."

Now it was Reiner's turn to stare. He knew that he had to convince them that he wasn't who he was, but he hadn't expected it to be that simple. It couldn't be that simple. What was she-

Annie moved to speak again, but Pieck beat her to it. Her expression shifted into something grave and a new weight entered her voice as she spoke. "Annie. If Marley says he's someone else, he's someone else."

Reiner's blood ran cold. That wasn't... was that okay? He wasn't supposed to tell anyone about his family. Technically he hadn't, but that sounded dangerously like Pieck might have figured it out, or was at least coming close. Was that okay?

No. No, it couldn't be. Even if he hadn't told her, it would still mean that she knew the truth. That could too easily turn into the warriors knowing the truth. He couldn't trust them with that information. What if decided that they wanted revenge for how he treated them before? His family could be hurt. Worse than hurt, that could be-

No. That wasn't going to happen. It wasn't too late yet. Pieck might suspect and Annie wasn't going to be convinced easily, but they were going to be on this island for a while. If he just kept pretending that they hadn't met before today, they were bound to start believing him anyway. Especially if he didn't act like the person they had known back then.

That settled it. Reiner was supposed to keep the warriors on track, they needed Marcel to keep them on track, and he needed to be someone else.

While they were on this island, Reiner would be Marcel in all but name. He would pretend that he always had been, that the Marleyan boy who poked at the warrior candidates had been the one who died.

He would keep pretending until they believed it.

"I supposed I should get you caught up then?" Pieck asked.

Reiner blinked as he was pulled back into reality. A quick glance around the room showed that although Pieck was still standing in front of him and smiling unreadably, Bertolt and Annie had moved. They were standing by the door together now, murmuring to each other while shooting Reiner and Pieck brief glances. Annie was back to her normal blank expression, while Bertolt looked caught somewhere between nervous and hopeful.

Clearing his throat, Reiner tried to look like he hadn't zoned out.

"That would be a good idea," he said.

Now the mission would truly begin.

***

The plan was to join the military when the training corps started in under a month. Apparently, the royal family seen by the public wasn't the real deal. They needed to get into the military police so they could get into the interior and find the real royal family - and thus the founding titan.

It should have been a heavy weight on his mind, the sort of shadow that consumed all else. Instead, Reiner found himself looking forward to it.

(At least he would only need to put on one act for the island devils.)

In the meantime, he and the warriors had begun to hit a rhythm. It was stilted and uncomfortable, but it was something, and it would improve as they learned to work with each other. There were small bright spots as well. For one thing, Pieck seemed content not to ask questions. He hoped that meant that it wouldn't be too hard to get her to think what he needed her to think.

(He was scared of the alternative.)

Bertolt definitely believed him. He was simply too nice for the alternative. Unsure and awkward, yes, but he seemed to be making a genuine effort to make friends. No way would he do that if he had held onto the connection between Reiner and the Marleyan boy who'd used his position to bully the warrior candidates.

Annie was another matter.

One evening, as Reiner was listening to Bertolt talk about the gear the islanders used to fight titans, Annie walked up behind him and ran a hand through his hair.

Reiner frowned, but didn't acknowledge it. Then she carded her hand through his hair again. And again.

Finally, he turned around and asked, "what are you doing?"

Annie pulled her hand back. Then, making direct eye contact, she reached forward and ran her hand through the front of his hair. He pulled back a little and she dropped her hand to her side.

"I'm looking for your horns," she said.

Reiner felt something lodge itself in his throat. It took him a few seconds to work around it enough to say, "I don't have any."

"Odd," Annie said. As she turned around to walk away, she added, "I once knew someone whose mother said Eldians ought to have them."

#reiner braun #gabi braun #pieck finger #annie leonhardt #bertolt hoover #annie leonhart #snk #attack on titan #unchanging destinations #snk fic

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fanmoose12 · 3 years

Text

the devil you know

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Moblit Berner, Zeke Yeagar, Armin Arlert

Genres: Action / Drama

Summary: Can you still miss a person, if everything you knew about them was a lie?

He was wasting precious time. His primary object was Eren and getting to him before the last hope of humanity had his ass kicked by Marleyan tech or another shifter. His second no less important task was finding Eren's brother and playing a little shit show for his Marleyan superiors.

Eren was already being taking care of and Levi had Zeke in his line of sight. All he had to do was swoop in and get the bearded bastard.

Still, the time was of the essence. Every second wasted meant another useless death. And he had enough of this massacre already.

He had to be focused, had to remain vigilant. But as he flew through the burning city his focus began to slip and his attention was occupied by things of no importance to his goal. He couldn't help but wonder - that small cafe that was just exploded by a thunder spear, did she use to frequent it? And that alley to his left, maybe it had led to her house? Did she even have a house here, in the inner city? Or did she live somewhere else, maybe, in barracks with her fellow warriors? Or, maybe, in a little house in the middle of a forest she used to tell him about?

It didn’t matter, he told himself, none of it ever did.

What mattered right now was the plan and following through with it. Everything else was meaningless.

Keep your head in the game, Levi reminded himself, gritting his teeth. He directed his gaze to the ground, where a chaos was unraveling at a more rapid speed that he had expected.

The swirl of people in white uniforms danced around the city. Some of them, armed with guns and rifles, attempted to fight back, others, less courageous ones - ran for their lives.

Each time one of them fell, receiving a bullet to the head, or getting buried under debris from blown up buildings, his heart stopped. Despite his insistent thoughts - she wouldn't care about you, she never did - he still looked for a mess of brown hair in the crowd.

He wasn't sure if his heart would be able to take it if he saw her there - amongst dozens of dead bodies.

She wouldn't care about you, she never did - and yet, he still couldn't treat her with the same indifference.

Keeping Zeke in his line of sight, Levi landed in the nearby alley. He took out his pocket watch, checking the time. His ride would arrive soon, and that meant—

Showtime, he thought grimly, releasing his cables and readying his blades.

It didn't lessen the pain hidden in the depth of his soul, but hurting Zeke, cutting and hitting him gave the catharsis he was waiting for ever since their last meeting.

First he cut off his left arm - that's for all the scouts that lost their lives because of you.

Then he went for the right arm - that's for Nanaba.

He moved to the right leg, cutting it down and making the beast fall on one knee - that's for Mike.

And that's - he thought - as he slashed through his left leg - that's for Erwin, you fucking dipshit.

The beast collapsed, plummeting face-first into the ground. Levi landed on top of him, taking out a grenade.

He plunged his blade into beast's body, afflicting the final wound. He removed the pin, thinking - that's for taking her away from me too.

The crowd around them swayed, the masses stood terrified in a face of their biggest defender losing so easily to a devil from Paradise. Levi would have even smirked, if this whole farce didn't disgust him so much. He would have enjoyed injuring the beast, if it wasn't a part of Zeke's own, carefully orchestrated plan.

The airship was fast approaching, and so Levi pulled Zeke's body out, scowling at the sight of his hideous face.

"You truly are one of a kind, asshole," Levi whispered to him. "I have never seen anyone uglier than you."

"There are some who enjoy my looks, Levi," the fucking monkey managed to say, despite half of his face missing. "One of my admirers used to be your friend once. Tell me, Captain, do you still miss her?"

Fucker.

Levi shoved his blade into bastard's stomach, going as deep as he could. God, he wanted another round with him. He wanted to beat the shithead until there was no sass left in him.

"I would shut up if I were you, beast. Or I'll be busy cutting your tongue during the whole trip back to the island."

"Careful with your language," Zeke advised with a disgustingly sweet smile. "Someone's watching."

Instinctively, Levi looked up. Immediately, he felt his throat close up because there, on top of the building he saw—

Messy brown hair, those stupid, too big glasses—

His limbs moved on his own accord.

"Take him," he instructed Moblit, kicking Zeke's half formed body to him.

"Captain, the airship—"

"One minute," he promised and soared into the air.

***

Goddamnit, but she didn't age a day. The same proud posture, the same determined expression.

She stood on top of a rooftop, a rifle in her hands. Not far behind her Levi could see the Cart Titan.

Was Hange the one who advised the shifter to use the hard machinery? Most probably. She was the one who knew about scouts’ fighting style the most. Knew their advantages, knew how to exploit their weaknesses.

No surprise in that, she was a scout for almost five years too, after all.

All these times she begged him to show his tricks, to explain how he could move so differently from the others, was it with a malicious intent too? Not to satisfy her abnormal curiosity, but to simply gather more intel?

Was there any moment out of thousands, where she wasn’t pretending?

The rifle in her hands trembled, as she saw him appear.

"Levi," she murmured, and his knees almost gave up under him.

Damn her, damn her to hell and back, but even after all the pain she had inflicted on him, after all these lies and betrayals she was still able to set his heart ablaze.

She was the only one who ever could.

"Hange," he said, swallowing down 'shitty four-eyes'. That wasn't her. Not anymore. He lost his four-eyes four years ago, the night before they've ventured to Shiganshina.

Before him now stood a stranger. A stranger he was still reluctant to harm.

"You knew this was going to happen," he told her.

"I guess this is it." Hange nodded.

She didn't try to shoot at him, didn't call for help.

She knew it would only delay the inevitable. She was always too smart for her own good. Apparently that part of her wasn't a lie.

But everything else was. That's why he did what he had to do.

With a heavy heart, Levi took a step forward.

***

"Ah, and here I was worried it'd be a boring trip with only Captain Brooding as my companion." Zeke tilted his head, offering the most charming of his smiles. "Professor Hange, seeing you is always a pleasure. I'd shake your hand, but," he shrugged, pointing at his tied hands. "I'm in a rather unfortunate predicament."

"Zeke," she chocked out, shifting her gaze from him to Levi. A heartbeat later, her eyes widened in realization.

Too smart for her own good, Levi thought, watching Hange deliver a vicious kick to Zeke's thigh, fiery despite the bindings on her own arms and legs.

Watching that was almost satisfying.

"Asshole!" she raged, kicking him again. "Scheming, pathetic betrayer!"

"You're the one to talk," Levi noted dryly.

At the sound of his voice, Hange froze. She calmed down immediately, bowing her head.

Zeke observed the two of them, a malicious spark in his eyes.

"So my earlier guess was right, Captain? You do miss—"

"Shut the fuck up," Levi warned in a low voice. "Or my previous threat would become a reality."

Zeke curled his lips in a smile, and, maintaining direct eye contact with Levi, he had the audacity to wink at him. “My lips are sealed.”

Levi reached to his blade.

"What is going on here?” Jean walked onto the deck, stopping Levi from using his very sharp weapon on their very precious charge. Jean looked around, frowning in confusion. His eyes widened, as they landed on Hange. "What is she doing here?" his face changed, jaw tightening.

"None of your business," Levi muttered, sheathing his blade and pushing Jean away.

"None of my business?" Jean repeated, glaring at him. "I think it is my goddamn business, when you go against the plan without discussing it with us first."

"Careful, Kirshtein," Levi narrowed his eyes. "Despite the stupid democracy, I'm still your superior. Meaning you will do as I say."

"Captain," Jean grabbed his elbow. "I know how you feel about—"

"You know shit," Levi hissed, his low voice almost getting lost amongst the celebration around them. Stupid Floch and his band of fanatical idiots. "This has nothing to do with my so called feelings. But we need to question her. In case you forgot, she is one of Marley's best engineers."

"Exactly," Jean retorted. "She's valuable to them. That's why you had to kill her. Without her they'd be lost."

Without her - I'd be lost too.

The ruckus around them had been growing louder and louder. It was getting hard to concentrate, even without the added distraction of Hange's eyes boring into the back of his head.

He swept his gaze across the deck, looking for Moblit. He needed someone to put an end to that merry festivity, he would have done so himself, but the way Floch and his friends shouted and cheered made him doubt that he'd be able to calm them down without throwing some mouth-breather the fuck out of the airship.

He motioned for Moblit to come closer, ignoring Jean’s enraged gaze, when suddenly, out of nowhere, he heard a sharp cry, the still familiar voice shouting,

"Gabi, no!"

Levi whipped his head around, his eyes widening as he saw Hange - somehow freed from all bonds - launching herself at Sasha.

He rushed there, the malicious voice in his head chanting - this is all your fault, all of it is your fault, it's your inability to let go that is going to-

He stopped when the thundering, earsplitting sound shook the previously cheerful atmosphere.

He froze, staring at the scene with dumb confusion. The smoke rising from a rifle clutched in child's hands, the bullet flying, soaring through the spot where Sasha was standing seconds ago.

She didn’t try to—

He allowed himself to take a breath.

She saved Sasha, he realized, staring at Hange, who wore the same perplexed expression as he did.

"What is going on here?" Armin's soft voice cut through the air, making every head turn in his direction.

"The Marleyans got onto our ship!" one of the soldiers reported.

"Should we throw them out now or—”

"They're just children," Hange spoke up. "They don't know what they're doing."

"Hange-san..." Armin gasped. "What are you—" he turned to Levi. "Captain, what is the meaning of this?"

"She's Marleyan engineer and strategist. I decided it'd be wise to capture her."

"Alright, we'll deal with this later..." Armin muttered, rubbing his forehead. "And about those children..."

"The girl almost killed Sasha," Jean said, coming to stand at Armin’s side.

"Don't touch her!" Hange cried out, covering both kids with her body.

"Don't order me." Jean spat. "You're not my superior officer. Not anymore."

"And yet I still know you, Jean," Hange stared him in the eyes. "I know you're not capable of harming a child. Think of what your mother is going to say."

"You know nothing about me!" he growled, his fists trembling and his face reddening in anger. "You lying, deceiving—”

"That's enough," Levi sharply interrupted. "Moblit, help me deal with our prisoners. There are a lot more of them than we’ve expected."

Moblit nodded readily, obeying his command without a question. As he led Hange back to her place, his grip on her was gentle and his eyes were sad.

Approaching the two children, Levi stared them down, silently ordering the girl to put down the rifle. She surrendered with an annoyed huff.

Her demeanor changed, however, as soon as Levi's gaze turned to her friend.

"Don't hurt Falco, please," she whispered, sniffling. "He isn't guilty, he's not like me."

"No one is going to hurt you or your friend," Levi rolled his eyes, scoffing. "We're not that much of devils."

Putting his arms around their shoulders, he led kids to the back of the airship.

As they were passing Zeke, the girl - Gabi, Hange had called her - stopped in her tracks.

Her lip trembled, as she gawked at the shifter. "M-mister Yeager? You're here too? B-but why?"

What a goddamn circus, Levi cursed.

He sighed, pushing them forward before the beast could even open his mouth and feed the poor kids a lie, or, worse, reveal the truth about his betrayal.

Once he tied the girl and a boy down, he closed his eyes and heaved a deep breath.

Two angry Marleyan children, the bearded beast and Hange fucking Zoe, a person he dreamt about every night he slept for more than two hours. And all of them were aboard one damned airship.

There was one thing Levi was sure of - one hell of a fucking trip was awaiting them.

#ha! i tricked you!#you thought this was going to be a marleyan!hange au but no!#this is actually my fix-it everybody lives/nobody dies au #with marleyan!hange on the side #also moblit is alive here too and i have two reasons for that #1) hange disappeared before the battle of shiganshina so there was no one he had to sacrifice his life for #and 2) i needed at least one character who would be nice to hange :)#also yeah i know it's a rewrite of attack on liberio and some of you may ask - but where is eren?#eren plays no importance to this story he has his own manga already this story is only about hange :)#also a new chapter is probably going to be out soon because i'm really invested #but school has been kinda hard so who knows :)#hope you like this!#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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