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98prilla · 4 years

Text

Loved

Follow up to Unwanted, because I love some soft Dark Sides

AO3

...

“Are you sure? Like, really, really, really sure?” Remus asks. Logan squeezes his hand gently, smiling softly, because he understands Remus’s hesitance, he understands why he is afraid, because he is a bit afraid, too.

“You’ve asked him ten times, Remus. If the answer didn’t change after the first five, why would it change now?” Deceit drawls, though his nervousness shows in his tense posture where he leans against the wall, pretending to examine his fingernails, though he is wearing his gloves.

“I know! I just, I don’t… I don’t want him to regret it. I don’t want you to regret it and then hate us for making you change and then you’ll be miserable and we’ll be miserable and-“

“Remus. You aren’t making me do anything. I want to do this. I promise.” He says softly, slipping his hand from Remus’s, approaching the new door in the hallway, hand hesitantly resting against the unblemished wood as he takes a deep breath.

“Logan! I… be safe. Please.” He nods once at Deceit’s words. He takes a final breath, then opens the door, not hesitating as he steps inside.

The door slams closed behind him, the echo loud as thunder in the dead silent hall, Deceit and Remus both unwilling to move from their posts, in case anything went wrong.

…

The slam of the door makes him jump. Everything is silent, so silent, and the room is pitch black. He squares his shoulders resolutely and walks to the center of the room.

Then the world seems to spin. He can’t keep his balance, it’s like the explosion of a supernova, it’s silence so loud it’s deafening, it’s nothing and everything and hot and cold and it burns and it freezes and it’s too, too, too much!

He feels his center shifting, changing, growing, shrinking, it hurts, it hurts, but it also feels so right as his being rearranges itself, adding to his purpose, tilting it on its axis until it is the same, but different, and he doesn’t know whether he wants to cry or laugh or scream as he feels everything settle into place with an ear shattering void of noise.

He doesn’t know how long it is before he moves from where he fell, crumpled on the floor. He is sore, every part of him aching, as he forces himself to his feet, stumbling at the cresting wave of exhaustion washing over him.

But he has to know, he has to see, before he can let himself rest, he has to see what he has become.

He’s not afraid. He thought he would be, but he isn’t. It’s… anticipation. Relief, almost. Because whatever he is now, he knows Deceit and Remus will still want him. Will still care. It’s strange to think that his former family wouldn’t.

He has changed. His hair is a deep, dark black, in the light it has an almost indigo sheen that he rather likes. His eyes as well, one is that deep indigo, the other a startling silver. His suit jacket is black, buttoned once halfway down, silver embroidery mapping out constellations, his shirt a deep blue. He has a bow tie now, as well, that matches his shirt.

He reaches up, letting out a small laugh as he feels around the edges of each eye, soft, silver scales dotting up his cheekbones and half outlining his eyes. They sparkle like stars and he loves them immediately.

He can see. He’s not wearing his glasses anymore, but he can still see perfectly fine, though his silver eye seems a bit sensitive to the light. He wonders if Deceit’s snake eye is also sensitive.

Deceit. Remus. They’re probably worried. How long… how long has he been in here? He doesn’t quite know, but long enough he’s sure they’re a bit frantic. He stumbles to the door, fumbling with the handle before managing to open it, falling forwards into someone’s arms.

“gan. Logan!” His ears are ringing, but his name manages to cut through the darkness threatening to overtake him. He manages to blink his vision clear, realizing he’s being supported by Remus, who’s looking at him with fear and wonder and worry.

“Fine, I’m… I’m fine. Just took a lot… a lot out of me.” Remus’s face softens, some of the worry fading away, and he is pulled into a tight hug before he can say another word.

“you scared me. You were gone forever!”

“It was not forever, Remus. It was three hours. That felt like forever. I certainly wasn’t worried, or anything.” Logan chuckles at Deceit’s obvious lie, finding himself unwilling to move away from Remus’s steady warmth. Then Remus takes gentle hold of his shoulders, moving him back, so he can examine him.

“Nice new look, by the by. Hair, cool, like the blue, new style, nice, very formal rebel chic. You look like a real bad boy, Logan.” He rolls his eyes, suppressing his light blush at the teasing.

“Dee?” He asks, softly, turning to face Deceit, who hadn’t yet looked up from the ground, as if he were almost afraid to. Slowly, Deceit looks at Logan, examining him from the feet up, letting out a soft, small noise as he reaches Logan’s face.

He is before Logan in two steps, hands shaking as he reaches out, hovering around Logan’s face, eyes filled with something almost unreadable.

“may I?” He asks softly, and Logan responds with a smile just as soft.

“of course, Dee.” He shivers slightly as Deceit’s palms rest on his cheeks, his thumbs carefully stroking his newly formed scales with a feather light touch that just barely tingles against his skin. He closes his eyes, leaning into the touch. It feels so… nice.

“Logan!” Deceit yelps, startling him awake. Awake? He hadn’t been sleeping, had he?

“sorry. I... don’t know what came over me.” Deceit had caught him in his arms, holding him carefully.

“It’s fine, sweetling. You just surprised me, is all. You need to sleep. Preferably in your new room.” He closes his eyes again, nuzzling against Deceit’s chest. One of his favorite things about the Dark Sides, he didn’t feel the need to be the grown up one, the serious one. He didn’t feel embarrassed about wanting or needing touch and affection. They never judged him for it, never made him feel less for it.

“What do we call you now, anyways?” Remus chimes in, “I mean, not Logic, anymore, right?”

“Ambition. I am ambition.” He mumbles, eyes slipping shut once again. “stay? Please? Till I… till I wake up? Don’t wanna be alone.” He feels Deceit lift him up, into his arms, and his hands fist around the fabric of his shirt. “remus too.” He mumbles, and Deceit chuckles, running a hand through his hair.

“of course, Ambition. Whatever you want, darling.” He feels Deceit kiss his scales, then he succumbs to darkness.

“Ambition.” Deceit says softly, and Remus can see the gears turning inside his head, trying to process the implications, the meaning, the why and how. “ambition. I think it suits him. He always wanted so much more than they gave him. Still uses facts and figures, uses logic. Logic with emotion. Ambition.” Deceit muses approvingly.

“God, you two are such nerds. Now, I’m not one to pry,” Deceit snorts, “buuuut since we are spending the night with him, let’s go scope out the new room, already!” Remus is bouncing on the balls of his feet as he skips over to the door, which is now a deep, midnight blue. “c’mon, c’mon, c’mon!” He whines.

“Shush, you’ll wake him. I’m moving fast as I can. Just go in already!” Deceit laughs, and Remus giddily complies, taking one step inside before he freezes, jaw dropping, eyes wide as he stares up at the ceiling.

“whoa.” Is the only word that escapes him, and Deceit hurries inside to see what the fuss is, because not much can stop Remus’s endless talking, much less awe him. His eyes widen as he looks around, a soft whistle escaping his lips, because wow.

The ceiling is moving, swirling, space. It is pitch black, and as they watch, galaxies swirl past, comets shooting across the space, distant stars glittering as supernovas explode in the distance. It is an ever moving, ever shifting, ever changing view of the universe.

And the floor is like that of an infinity room, mirrored so the ceiling is reflected over and over and over again, like you’re walking through the stars, like you could reach out and touch a sun, like the endless possibility of the universe is unravelling at your feet.

The walls are dark marble, embedded with shimmering, small moonstones, which shift and glimmer with the light, going from pale, milky blue, to fiery, alit orange, like more endless stars, and gods, it is beautiful and amazing and incredible, and it mirrors Ambition perfectly.

His bed is still simple, though the duvet is blue and silver, like his jacket. A desk is against one wall, bookshelves line the other, a closet with clothes sits yet untouched. Any personal items, Ambition will have to fetch from his old room. Deceit bites his cheek at that, because he doesn’t know if he can face the others, if he can face Virgil, after this. Because no matter what Ambition says, they will all blame him. They will all say he somehow coerced, tricked, stole, Logan, and forced him to turn dark. As if him and Remus and, once, Virgil, were evil beings sent to hurt them. They aren’t, the terms light and dark arbitrary, but good luck telling that to Thomas.

It upsets him to be blamed, of course, just because of his role. But that’s not why he’s angry at the thought. It undermines Ambition’s choice. He chose this. The issue shouldn’t be that he changed, the issue should be all the reasons why he changed.

“DeeDee. You’re overthinking again.” Remus’s soft voice cuts through his thoughts, and Deceit sighs, shaking his head.

“Caught me red handed, my ever observant Duke. Let’s get settled, before my mind runs away once again.” He replies, rolling his eyes as Remus jumps onto the bed, instantly burrowing under the covers, patting the space beside him.

“Coming, I’m coming.” He mutters, tucking Ambition under the blankets first, whom Remus quickly secures in his arms, cooing as Ambition tucks his head down against his chest, mumbling something incoherently happy. Deceit slips in next, sandwiching Ambition in warmth, wrapping his arms around both him and Remus, letting out a long breath as his body relaxes, all the tension seeping out of his muscles at the warmth, head resting against Ambition’s.

“Dee?” Small, hesitant. He smiles, not cracking open his eyes.

“Yes, Remus?”

“love you.” Innocent, quiet, the Remus none of the others get to see, don’t give him a chance to show. The one who is sensitive and kind and caring, in his own way. Who is just as insecure as Roman, just as romantic, just as full of love and fierce protection for his family. The one who was the most broken when Virgil left. Because he had loved Virgil, like a brother.

“I love you too, Remus. So does he.”

…

It’s… odd. Waking up, surrounded by warmth, surrounded by arms, gentle breathing near his ear, the rise and fall of a chest, being held like he is the most precious thing in the universe.

He needs a new name. Logan… doesn’t feel right, anymore. It doesn’t feel like it… fits. Honestly, he’s not sure it ever did. Logan was a name chosen out of convenience. Logic, Logan, simple, clean, easy to remember. It hadn’t mattered much, what he was called.

But now… now it felt important.

Idly, he looks up, eyes widening as he sees the ceiling, watching the stars shimmer and spark, earth far away, a vague blue dot against the endless vastness. Space. He’d always loved space, the stars, the theories of the universe’s formation, the mechanics and unknows of it all, how it just… worked. By some miracle, it worked.

As he watches, the sky changes, swirling, to show what the night sky looks like from earth, the constellations stretching out before him. Ursa major, minor. Big dipper, little dipper. Orion and his belt.

“Cygnus.” He whispers, lips twitching upwards in a smile. Cygnus. The swan. In Greek myths, so many warriors, heroes, were transformed into swans to escape death, the constellation itself was said to be Orpheus, transformed into a swan and placed in the sky to forever sing his songs. The ugly duckling, finding his place among his species, turning something old and ugly into something new and beautiful.

“ugh, morning.” Deceit mumbles, and he rolls over to meet Deceit’s eyes, which are still blurry from sleep, his curly hair adorably tousled. “how are we feeling this morning, Ambition?” He smiles at Deceit’s use of his new title.

“good. Not about to pass out, anymore, at least. A bit sore, still. But better.”

“Ambyyyy why are you talking? Go back to sleeeeeep.” Remus whines, hugging him tighter around his waist, face buried against his back. He chuckles, heart warming further at Remus’s nick name.

“We should get up sooner rather than later. Even they won’t be able to ignore a shift this big in the mindscape. Sooner rather than later, we’re going to be summoned. I would prefer to look my best to deal with this occasion.” Deceit says dryly, and Remus groans, but relents, releasing him and sitting up. “go get dressed. I’ll start on breakfast. Everyone needs to eat something today.”

He shivers as Deceit leaves the bed, wishing they could stay there all day, but he knows Dee is right. Remus plants a soft kiss on his head, before slipping out from behind him.

“take your time starlight. Look around. It’s pretty amazing, what you made.” Remus slips out the door, Deceit following, shooting him a final, gentle smile as he lets the door close behind him.

He sighs, letting out a huge, deep, shaking breath. He still couldn’t believe he’d done this. Had the courage, to do this. But honestly, he’s never been happier in his life.

…

When he does emerge from his room, his room, for breakfast and makes his way to the kitchen/dining room, much more informal than the light sides dining area, a small table, a counter island with three stools, a vase of flowers on the table.

“Foxgloves. Pretty and deadly. Literally every part of the plant is poisonous. From your garden, Remus?” He asks, amused as he sits down at the island, where Remus is already leaning, watching Deceit cook, scrambling eggs, based on the smell. Remus’s eyes light up at his classification of the plant.

“Uh huh. Oh! I should show you! It’s all filled with poisonous plants! I’ve even mixed and bred new breeds! I dunno if they’d actually survive in the real world, but it’s the imagination so, anything goes! If… if you wanna. I know… my part isn’t as pretty as roman’s.”

“I find that hard to believe, Remus. You have the same level of passion and drive as Roman, and you don’t limit yourself half as much as he does, based on public perception. You don’t let public pressure alter your work. It’s true, unbiased, unfiltered art. I fail to see how that could ever be anything less than beautiful, regardless of how ‘perfect or ‘pretty’ it is or isn’t.” Remus is blushing furiously, and Deceit is staying facing the stove to hide the delighted, glowing grin on his face.

“And yes, I would love to see your garden. I may be able to offer some advice, as well, if you’re looking to up the toxicity of your specimens. For purely scientific reasons, of course.”

“Of course.” Deceit echoes, amused as he turns around, spooning eggs onto each of three plates, along with two slices of bacon and a piece of toast, sitting down on a stool on the other side of the counter, across from Remus. They eat in silence for a few moments, before Logan pushes his plate away, mostly finished. Turns out changing burns a lot of calories.

“I… have something I wish to tell the two of you. In regards… to my name.” Deceit and Remus both freeze, locking eyes a bit frantically.

“You don’t have to-“

“It’s not necessary-“ they both blurt out at the same time, stumbling over each other in their rush to stop him from saying anything more. Then they both shut up again as Logan laughs.

A real, honest, deep, full, laugh. Like church bells ringing, like distant thunder, like heady, summer nights. It’s beautiful, it’s stunning, it’s amazing. And it feels… good. When was the last time he laughed, more than an amused snort, at best? He was too serious, too focused, too adult, for laughing. Not anymore. His laugh finally dies down, leaving him smiling brightly, looking at the two stunned faces of Remus and Deceit.

“I know I don’t. That’s why I want to. Because I trust you two and I… I want you, to know. I just… I don’t want it to sound… stupid.” It had felt so right, lying sleepily in bed, but he cringed in the cold light of the kitchen, because what if it isn’t? What if they laugh?

“Ambition. We won’t laugh. We won’t judge. And if you aren’t ready, do not feel the need to say another word on the subject.” Deceit says softly, and he half smiles, taking a deep breath.

“Cygnus. It’s a constellation. Of a swan.” His face is furiously red, but when he looks up, he sees nothing but warmth and softness and a bright, wondering kind of joy.

“it’s perfect, Amby. You’re perfect.” Remus whispers, taking his hand and rubbing circles on his knuckles, easing some of his tension, evaporating his fear.

“Don’t… don’t tell the others?”

“Of course, sweetling. You tell them if or when you’re ready. We won’t tell them a thing, Cygnus.” He shivers a bit at the use of his name, the way it rolls off Deceit’s tongue, like music. He nods, biting the inside of his cheek.

“I think… I think we should go to them. Before they summon us. I don’t want to wait around for them to notice something is different. If they haven’t noticed by now, I want to show them. I want to say my piece, before they have time to put words in my mouth.” He squeezes Remus’s hand tighter, determination and a hint of fear spiking through him, but Deceit is nodding.

“Whatever you want, Cygnus. Everything is up to you. Everything is at your pace. Whatever you want, it’s yours.” And he’s flushing again, at the sincerity of Deceit, the promise in his words, and he knows Deceit means it. Knows he could ask Deceit to walk off the end of the earth, and he would.

…

Everyone is yelling. Roman is threatening Deceit, Patton is trying to calm him down but he is also afraid, unsure, and his frantic energy adds to Roman’s. Virgil is staring at him with wide eyed horror and disbelief, his face pale, eyes angry and hard as stone as he spits something cold and cruel at Remus, who flinches, backing behind him, almost as overwhelmed as he is at all the noise. Then Roman breaks free of Patton’s hold and actually swings at Deceit.

He smoothly steps in front of the snake side and catches Roman’s arm, eyes cold as stars as he halts the swing, and the room goes silent as the sword clatters to the floor, all eyes on him.

“You don’t want to do that, your majesty.” He hisses, and Roman stumbles back, the three light sides staring down the three dark sides, with Cygnus at their head.

“Logan… you don’t have to do this. Whatever they told you… it isn’t true. We love you. Please.” Patton, open armed and teary eyed.

But he knows. He knows Patton wants him back because he’s afraid he won’t be able to moderate Virgil and Roman without him there, that he doesn’t want things to change, that he wants everything to go back to the way it was. But he is not, for a single second, thinking of wanting ‘Logan’ to be happy.

“You want to be the pinnacle of light, Patton. The perfect father, perfect leader, perfect person. You spend so much time worrying about appearances, Patton. If you looked a little deeper maybe you’d realize no coercion was necessary, nor attempted.” His words are cool, evenly spoken, but Patton still winces, mouth opening and closing several times before he simply looks away.

“Why? Logan, why go… to them? After everything, after what they’ve done-“ He cuts Virgil off.

“I don’t know what they’ve done, besides try and do their best for Thomas. Try and help him accomplish his goals. And why? Are you really asking me that? Do you not have a single idea of what could have led to this choice?” He asks incredulously, looking from face to face, seeing nothing but honest puzzlement and it almost makes him furious.

“I have been gone. For five days.” Patton’s hands fly to his mouth, Roman’s eyes blaze as he glares at Remus, Virgil gasps softly. “I’m glad to see no one noticed my absence.” His lips twist in a grim smile, and he shakes his head, gathering his thoughts for a moment.

“I have never felt listened to. I have never been valued. I do the work, I put in the time, I try my very hardest to get all of you, any of you, to listen to me, to see me, to care about me, and I am pushed aside again and again and again. It is only when something goes wrong, only when everything has fallen apart to the very extremes does anyone come looking for Logic. So clearly, it wasn’t needed. Logan… wasn’t needed.” They all have the grace to look ashamed at that, and he feels Remus slip his hand into his, before he continues.

“I was ill. I thought it didn’t matter. I thought I didn’t matter. None of you cared to notice, cared to check on me, cared to ask where I was, while these two were taking care of me, fevered and unconscious for nearly two days. And no one even noticed I was gone. You can have that, as your answer to why.” There’s more, but those feelings are personal, and they have lost all right to his personal emotions, though they barely had it to begin with.

“Logan-“

“No. That is not my name anymore. I am Ambition. And that is what you may call me. You have not earned my name. I don’t think you ever truly did. You will leave Deceit and Remus alone. You will not punish them for this. You have only yourselves to blame. If you wanted me so badly, you should have fought for me a little sooner.” With that, he takes Deceit’s hand, and they disappear, back to the dark side, leaving the three lights in stunned, broken silence.

…

He stumbles, nearly falling, Deceit catching his arm and steadying him.

“Cyg? You okay?” Remus asks as he straightens, shooting Deceit a thankful glance.

“Just not used to that popping in and out thing. A bit more dizzying, than sinking in and out.” He replies, sinking onto the couch in the common room, laughing as a blanket is tossed at his face from across the room, which he promptly pulls around himself.

“You wanna watch anything, Amby?” Remus asks, hesitating by the T.V. Remus wants to play his game console, but only if he is ok with it. Remus, above everything, wants him to be comfortable and happy. He smiles, though he’s on the verge of tears again.

“No. Go ahead, Ree. The new Resident Evil remake?” He asks, and Remus pauses in turning on the television.

“How did you know?” His voice is pure curiosity, as he plops on the couch beside him, Cygnus leaning against him as the game loads.

“New role, new abilities, I suppose. As Ambition, I can tell what people want. Both eventual goals and whatever the current top desire is.” Remus hums thoughtfully, as Deceit comes in from the kitchen, holding a bowl of popcorn. He sits on Cygnus’s other side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, resting the bowl between them.

“So, then. What is my current desire, Ambition?” Deceit asks, and he swallows hard, because it is radiating off of both Remus and Deceit, and he has never felt like this before. Never felt this blooming warmth in his chest, never felt so wanted, needed, loved, and it burns in a pleasing, soft way.

“to love me. To show me I am loved, to give me whatever I need, whenever I need it, no matter if it is space or touch, company or solitude. To… to be here, with me, right now. My happiness, is your ambition.” He whispers, conscious of the tears slipping down his face.

Slowly, gently, Deceit reaches up and wipes away his tears, before pressing a kiss to each of his newly formed scales, nuzzling his head against Cygnus’s cheek before pulling away.

“yes. And it always will be.”

“MOTHERFUCKER” They both jump at Remus’s screech, popcorn flying, looking up at the screen to see a giant monster chasing his character through zombie infested streets. He recovers from his shock first, and chuckles, getting caught up in the action as Remus dodges and shoots, all three of them letting out a cheer as a stranger appears, blasting the monster with a rocket.

He can still feel the warmth and love radiating off the two of them as they are all sucked into the game, the plot, and he slowly finds himself relaxing against Remus, Deceit massaging his head, and it feels so good, for once everything feels so good, so right, so perfect.

He is home.

#sympathetic remus #remus sanders #logan sanders #dark side logan #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #kind of unsympathetic light sides?#mostly just oblivious #fluff #minor angst #mostly fluff

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loseyoutoloveme · 3 years

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will you do a song by song review for life support? i really liked the ones for sweetener and thank you next!

oh absolutely, i’d love to! thank you for asking and being interested 🖤 all thoughts below.

the beginning:

this was such a great way to open this album, it’s so cinematic and really sets the mood so perfectly. one of my fav instrumental intros i’ve ever heard.

9/10

good in goodbye: “you put the over in lover, put the ex in next.”

the lyrics are so wonderfully corny and i’ll love this song forever, like the chorus is literally just so fun to sing along to.

i do think it feels a little... shallow compared to the rest of the album, and the album being released so long after this song came out makes it feel disconnected from the rest. but i love it so i don’t care.

7.5/10

default: “i know, i know this must be coming for me, i swear, i swear i will be the end of me, the end of me.”

this song is just sooo...... OUCH!

i’m obsessed with the way the chorus just SOUNDS like an emotional spiral, like her life falling apart, like falling into a deep depression, and then the outro builds like destructive racing thoughts.

also i never noticed the wave crashing and the bubbles at the very beginning until really recently, and i love that little touch. the whole song feels so underwater. cloudy and fuzzy. it does a good job of depicting certain symptoms of various mental illnesses.

8.5/10

follow the white rabbit: “is it haunting, baby, that i’m wanting, baby, that i’m wanting, wanting you?”

i actually was fully not expecting to like this that much based off the snippets she’d shared, but omg this left me WEAAAAK on first listen, which was the best surprise

there are definitely so many layers to these lyrics too, despite it being just a bombastic sexy toxic love song on its surface, particularly when thinking about the album as a commentary on mental illness, and some of the breakup/love songs as metaphors rather than straightforward love songs. definitely about infatuation and toxicity and perhaps knowingly entering a bad relationship as a bad coping mechanism, a way to avoid dealing with your pain or (as we see in effortlessly) a way to just feel anything at all.

9/10

effortlessly: “i hold my breath to breathe, hurt me so i feel, used to do these things so effortlessly somehow.”

oh god this song is just a punch in the stomach

i ALSO didn’t really expect to love this one based on snippets but the lyrics are just devastating and perfect and i hope speak to anybody who has struggled with self-harm and medication.

i don’t even have thoughts on this song, it just makes me go jsn*@(#nkdasdnkasd7*@U#j2k3n

love that this is such a fan favourite. it deserves!

10/10

stay numb and carry on: “truth is it was never love, your fault if you thought it was.”

the reverse “i’ve become emotionless” at the beginning >>>

also love the “i was gin and you were toxic . . . wish we’d just stayed plaTONIC” like a platonic relationship would be the opposite of toxic. it’s such fun wordplay.

also “i don’t feel like anyone” makes me emo, she really just slid the most simple but heartbreaking lines in everywhere and you don’t notice them until they hit you out of nowhere one day and you’re like ...OH

AND THE WAY HER VOICE STARTS TO GO MONOTONE AT “i’ve become emotionless”

in conclusion, madison beer is a vessel for god

10/10

blue: “you could be as sweet as honey but i knew the darkness in your mind.”

this is my least favourite on the album but it’s still fantastic

the lana influence is clear without being too copycat, like it’s still SO madison. sorta like lana’s video games modernized and adapted into something truer to madison’s vibe.

love love love the whole outro

glad that this wasn’t a single like it was planned to be

7/10

interlude: “would you do that shit for me too?”

VOCODER RIGHTS

this album in general is just not really for people who don’t like vocoders and lots of technical effects. i looove that she leaned into it so hard bc it’s so HER.

this song also has so much depth for an interlude, relaying the experience of feeling SO hard about people, and realizing like you’re putting in way more than you’re getting back.

the post-chorus is like... 🤩🌌💫☄️🌠

7.5/10

homesick: “these humans speak my language, still don’t understand it.”

THIS SONG...... IS MY BABY......

oh god it just breaks my heart on every listen. the image in my head is of a little girl talking to the stars.

and why does the line about her mom and dad make me wanna cry every time? i have no idea.

I BELONG IN SPACE...... FLOATING WITH DEBRIS.......

i’m sure she’s not the first person to ever use this metaphor for mental illness, expressing the alienation of mental illness (especially one as stigmatized and misunderstood as bpd) by talking about LITERAL aliens sdkjfsdfksd, but she does it SOOOOO well and sincerely that it feels like it’s uniquely hers.

the rick & morty sample is so funny and so weird and so madison. i will probably never watch an episode of that show in my life.

10000000000/10 this song is the loml

selfish: “shouldn’t love you but i couldn’t help it, had a feeling that you never felt it.”

my absolute favourite of all of the singles, noooo question about it. it’s a perfect, perfect, perfect song.

two years, alone on new years’, nightclubs, gemini... women writing lyrics with very specific details about the shitty men that the song is about... it’s everything to me.

this song will just NEVER age. every time i listen to it, it’s like the first time all over again.

10/10

sour times: “don’t know what song of mine you heard that made you think i’d want to spend the night with you.”

home with you’s big sister<3

not the strongest lyrics, but the concept and production are more than strong enough to carry the song.

she came on this bitch mad as hell

also love that this have been another fan favourite, seemingly??

men gross

9/10

boyshit: “don’t know how to talk or communicate, we’re so on and off, to you it’s a game.”

it took me awhile to get into this when it was a single ngl, probably because it came out the same night as evermore sjdknfsfnkjsd, but once i got into it, it became the best song ever

she’s soooo reliable with her “men ain’t shit” songs ugh

8.5/10

baby: “i’m a handful but that’s what hands are for.”

when this came out as a single it was the only thing i listened to for a solid week and a half. just an excellent song. the chorus is evvverrryttthhhiiinnnnggg.

WHAT IS IT SO CATCHY FOR?

9.5/10

stained glass: “my life’s a still fading memory of what i can’t have, and everything ’round me is starting to fade into black, but black and white is so much better, i’m learning how to hide my colours.”

i’m so surprised by how much non-stans seem to love this omg, it’s never been a fav of mine, as much as i still love it

but i’m obsessed with how different and distinctly madison it is

also this is a much more genuine take on the “pls stop being mean to me just bc i’m famous / you don’t know what people are going through” type of song than most of the others i’ve ever heard. her pain is evident, and the soft “i just might break” is just..... </3

the glass breaking and little scream are so good

she loves a good metaphor and so do i!

7.5/10

emotional bruises: “how do i word this? was about to write you this letter, but it was just curses in cursive, you probably deserve it.”

this was definitely my most anticipated song along with everything happens for a reason, like i listened to the snippet on repeat CONSTANTLY lmao. and the full song definitely lived up.

the scribbling sound is so fun, i love her obsession with little real-life sound effects

10/10

everything happens for a reason: “i still can’t find a reason you’d wanna hurt me so bad.”

THIS SONG IS VERY MUCH EVERYTHING

again, this was for sure one of my most anticipated songs and just kjsadsdkajsm god i love love love it

i think she posted a video one time of the song over a clip of the mermaids from peter pan and it was so pretty and i still picture that video when i hear this song. it’s just soooooo hazy and dreamy and retro and perfect.

also the song on the album where she got to show off her vocals the most. she found her niche with this song, truly.

100/10

channel surfing/the end: “YOU’REBADFORMYHEALTHISHOULDPROLLYKEPTSOMEHELPICANTCONTROLMYSELFIMADDICTEDOTHEHELL”

oh my god i was FLOOOOOORED at the dear society clip. dear society was and is one of my FAVOURITE songs, and i appreciate her reasoning for not including it on the album (just wanting some space for a new song instead of one we’d already had for so long), but it did hurt a lil. i was so happy she found a little way to include it :’) rip to hurts like hell tho since she didn’t get the same treatment sjdnksd.

the channel surfing is also just such a fun concept for an outro.

and her laughing with her producers at the end followed by such a sweet calming tropical instrumental...... oooo it’s so nice, it feels like the calm after the storm.

10/10

overall, this album was just SO worth the wait, it’s so fantastic, it’s the loml, one of my favourite albums ever. i LOVE that it’s helped anyone with BPD feel seen and understood, and as someone who doesn’t have bpd but has a couple of loved ones who do, the emotions she expressed in these lyrics have helped me to understand this disorder more too. just such a special album.

most of the criticism i’ve seen of the album has been that it’s overproduced, and that’s definitely criticism that i understand, bc it IS heavy on the technical side and some people just don’t like very heavy production, buuuut... some people do! i do! madison does! and heavy production does not automatically make an album bad. this type of production isn’t something that i expect her to move away from, because it’s clearly her thing, and maybe that just means her place in the industry will be more with the heavy heavy pop fans and maybe even in more hyperpop circles. i also think it’s SUPPOSED to be overproduced; it’s supposed to be a mess of emotions and sometimes a little chaotic. she executed it very well.

i hope by the time her next album is out, people will stop comparing her to like every single artist out there. some reviewers seem determined to pigeonhole her and compare her to every female artist under the sun, which feels like an absolute disservice to me. she is influenced by many different people and they comes out in her music, as it does any artist’s because everybody has their inspirations, but her sound is VERY much her own. as someone who has liked her for years, i can absolutely feel her essence in each song and nobody else’s.

a 10/10 album and such an amazing, promising debut<3

#madison beer #life support #answered #lofihoneymoon

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greekbros · 3 years

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"greek-Bros: The Return of an Old Enemy"

Chapter 6: The Matters of Merriment 2: Electric Boogaloo on Ice with Avengence and this time it's personal

After two uneventful days in the main village on Delphi, the Delphians started to become restless for nightly events. An unfortunate thing about Delphians was their habitual nature to plan than participate in the festivities; day time was usually a day of relaxation, contemplating on one's self, and occasionally a daytime festival... however most of their main events happen during the late evening until the sun rises. No matter the intensity of these nighttime escapes, it was always a constant event for Delphians. Now that the Dionysia was cancelled for a week, with no nighttime events allowed until the week is over, some folks began to become restless. Some citizens would walk around at night past curfew, curious to catch a glimpse of what could possibly be ruining the week for them, some resorted to the reasonable indoor house party, and some would "work" the night away doing crafts, making art or generally keeping themselves busy. Twas on the third day, where the complaints were being made.

On the third morning, Dionysus was busy in his vineyard, collecting some of the grapes he's been waiting for to make some wine with as usual. Three members of the "Party Republic" of Delphi where walking up to the vineyard, hoping to have an audience with Dionysus. He could see them walking up the hill, knowing very well what they were going to ask of him. He groaned but his equally discontent feelings of waiting for the week to be over, but he had to do what he had to do.

"Hey dudes, how's it going?" he casually greeted. He placed his grape basket down, "so ugh, what brings up here, I have some wine I was planning on opening up.", He was hoping that he would avoid the situation with wine, but he had a feeling that it wouldn't work this time around.

One of the "Party Republic" members, a satyr, stepped forward as if he was going say something eloquently important, "My great devine dude, no offense....buuuuut this waiting....ugh....kinda sucks.", he bluntly stated. "Can we just....I don't know....have night parties again?.....the rest of the guys and I are kinda bored.....I know it's not hot out but we kinda just want to let out some vibes at night", he continued. The satyrs on Delphi usually are more active and motivated at night, with a lack of motivation and lack of willingness to sleep at night, they've burned through all the day time activity they could think of.

Another member, a nymph, spoke out next. "Look, not to question this "animal" problem, buuuut me and girls haven't seen shit. We chill everywhere and we have no idea why you're stressing Dionysus, plus...well...let's be real, day time sex isn't AS fun as when you do it at night...it just hits differently youkno?" gesturing with her hands and hips with the utmost sass.

The third representative, a human farmer, felt a little unhappy at the satyr and nymph. He felt their reasons to continue nighttime events weren't as important as his reason. "Alec....Catia...It's not just about fun and fornicating. Some of us work to make your funtime frolic even happen. My Lord, some of the farmers are doing fine and losing a sheep or two isn't really a problem, you see with no body taking our stuff in bulk....and let's be real here the trade ships stopped coming to Delphi a week before Dionysia...we just don't want to waste anything.", he pleaded. Being the representative of mortals and workers on Delphi, he reasoned the abundance of food on the island wouldn't go to waste if the Dionysia wasn't canceled for the week. The farmers have already given food items to the needy of Delphi, and the trade boats that always arrive twice a week have stopped due to the recent attacks, in fear of having whatever has been attacking Grecians stowaway on the boats.

Dionysus felt his mood go from confident with his plan of reassuring them that they didn't need to complain...to feeling the pressure of wanting to at least help the residence in some way, after all, it was his job to make sure there is harmony in his brand of chaos.

"Well......there....could be...some...thing we can do....." He lied, he had no idea what to do. He knows that if Ariadne found out he broke his promise about letting people roam around at night for the week, he would definitely be in the cat house it. Yet, he had a very splendid idea....he still wanted that joust. "Hmmm.....how about this......we hold....a fake Olympic competition?" He perposed.

The representatives all looked at each other in confusion. How was a false Olympic games going to help bring back nightly parties they all wondered.

"Think about it, most of Delphi's best and boldest compete in this pretend version of the Olympic games. No flairs, no frills, just simple messing around and play fighting! Plenty of food will be provided, and everyone gets to participate. Pluuus......" He gestures for the representatives to get closer. The three lean in closer to hear. "....we...can have a joust. Between yours truly....and the god of war himself....all this....just before curfew too. So...by the time everyone goes home... you'll be too tired to want to do anything afterwards." He purposed.

Although the "Party Republic" wasn't too satisfied with the idea but in a way it may suffice, it would solve the issue of boredom on Delphi and the food surplus. Athletes do need the nutrition, and some excitement would make use of everyone's surplus of time as well. The three representatives huddle together, talking amongst themselves about the idea. After what was a few seconds, the three had come to a decision. "Yeah, we're cool with it my dude.", Alec said with a thumbs up. The other two nodded their heads in agreement.

Dionysus was relieved for the moment until he realized he needed his wife's approval. He completely forgot about Ariadne's say in the matter. "Ugh yes awesome! Now one quick second.", he turned around and ran off to the winery shead in front of the vineyard where Ariadne was also making wine peacefully....until she had been given the news that there was going to be mock-Olympic games in their own backyard and all after the promise to make sure no one would get hurt by ANY thing.

The representatives stood there waiting for Dionysus to comeback, hoping the sounds of the married couple loudly arguing about the situation would still mean they could still go on with the plans. After several minutes, Dionysus comes back with a content smile, soaked in crushed grape pulp and wearing the bucket said grape pulps had came from. "Good news! We can have the fake Olympic games as long as we fallow curfew..... Bad news is, I will be sleeping with the leopards until the end of Dionysia....is if anyone needs me in the next few days, I shall be hanging out with Conny and the other kitties at the south veranda....also please....tell NO ONE of this....." he pointed at the bucket. Dionysus and Ariadne came to an agreement but only through the fact if anything happened, Dionysus would be entirely responsible for the situation.

The next day, the preparations for the "Dionysian Games" had started bright and early. The obstacle course was being set up, the track was being laid and the 'games' themselves were being constructed. A small committee of Delphi's finest had formulated several half-baked versions of the original Olympic games. The only new event was the one event everyone woke up early for, The Divine Joust. An epic challenge between Dionysus and Ares. Of whom which....still needed to be invited.and informed about this.

In the distance, just in a small thicket of forest, a young curious pup, watches with wonder as to what could the strange, mostly hairless and ugly wolf-folk be doing. Putting up wooden posts, wrapping things in colorful cloths on top of things, just running around doing tasks the pup found terribly pointless. The little pup has been having the time of its life since it had left home. Things were about to get more exciting now something new is happening.

End of Chpr6

#greek mythology #greek gods #greek bros #greek-Bros #greek bros: the return of an old enemy #Chpr 6 #dionysus #Ariadne #hellenistic #blood of zeus

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bluestwitch · 4 years

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Rules: It’s time to 💛 yourselves! Choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the 🌍 in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the 💛 and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by @celtics534. As I’m not working today and I need to distract myself from the current situation (hubby and I are Spanish nurses) I thought well, I’ll give it a try.

Trouble is, I’m not a very prolific person, in terms of things I can link. I can’t post all my work on the school parents’ association and it has been huge, and believe me, it’s been nothing related to bake sales. More like fighting for my school so it can have all it needs. I can’t post what I do at my ward. So all I have is one multi chaptered story and a one shot. Soooo:

Diva Dave. I think this is the chapter of What Really Matters that I’m prouder of. I still read it sometimes when I’m in need of mood uplifting. I really wanted something different for the hen party, something with female empowerment and sorority which is what this should be really about, while having fun of course. Plus Davinia’s character just had a life of its own, it came out almost fully formed and I just love him 😍 . And about the boys, I wanted to show that there are a lot of ways to be a man. So he’s a virgin and it’s ok, sex for him is something that comes hand in hand with love and it’s perfectly normal and respectable (and I was tired of fics depicting him as a Casanova)

That Look In His Eyes. My first ever one shot and written in just three days! I don’t think I can ever do it again. I had to post it UnBetaed, it order to submit it to the SIYE challenge. It was precisely @celtics534 who suggested that I should write it. I’m a sucker for pregnancy and birth fics (maternity plays such a big role in my life) and the story was already developed in my mind, but it was very difficult to write nonetheless, and show what a rollercoaster of emotions a birth can be for both parents.

A Wedding To Celebrate. Another WRM chapter; I’m sorry. It’s very special for me because Hinny’s wedding has been written and rewritten a thousand time by more talented writers than me, buuuut... amazing as they were, they simply weren’t my choice for the characters. I wanted a chapter with the right amount of fluff, tastefully done, just a touch of emotion, some laughs and a very, very simple scheme. Not an elopement, but with the bare indispensable things. And I am very proud of the result (and my Beta complimented me about it so I felt over the moon)

The Applause Of Their Loved Ones. My first dance with hubby was Flying Without Wings, too. I love that song so I was dying to include it. This chapter took a lot of research because I’ve never been to an English wedding and we don’t usually do speeches in Spanish ones. Just a lot of eating, drinking and cheering the couple to kiss. And dancing. And did I mention eating? Anyway, after writing Arthur and Harry’s speeches I was exhausted and I knew that Ron’s was going to go unfinished. I had an idea for the interruption but I swear, the story had a mind of its own. Do you know the feeling when inspiration strikes all of a sudden and you can’t stop writing? It was amazing.

Let’s End This Party In Style. Do you know how difficult was for me writing this? I had this chapter in hiatus a lot of days because nothing worthy came to my mind. I knew what I wanted but struggled to put it into words. And then, the final took me ages. In the end, I think it wasn’t bad.

It’s quite embarrassing for me to tag unrelated people, so I will just leave the invitation open!

#hinny fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #what really matters #that look in his eyes

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acnewperspectives · 4 years

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Technical Difficulties and Fashion Don’ts, Part 1

Hey everyone! It’s that time again. I wasn’t able to play yesterday so I was extra eager to get started today. As always we are greeted by Isabelle during the setup process, but this time we’re interrupted by none other than Mr Resetti himself.

I think I must have boot up the game quickly during the process of writing my last post in order to remember the number of bells or the name of an item or something else similar. Anyways this does bring up the first thing you guys can participate in. Would y’all prefer Cantata have the Reset Center restored or should we kick this mole to the curb? I have asks enabled and I believe I have anonymous asks enabled as well so you can let me know your opinion that way, or you could also reply to this post.

After the interruption Isabelle reminds us that we still need to go over our next steps as the new mayor.

I had forgotten about that. We can’t just jump straight into making public works projects, we have to build up to it. It shouldn’t take too long though so there’s no need to worry.

The town is all set up and I go to check the mailbox, but suddenly I had an error where the 3DS registered that the SD card was removed, so it crashed the game.

That freaked me out a little bit and I popped the SD card in and out to make sure it was alright. Then I just booted the game back up.

Here’s round 2. Hopefully that error was just a fluke and there’s nothing wrong with my 3DS.

Opening our mailbox only held the letter from that anonymous individual that was originally supposed to be the mayor of our town. I’m sure you’ve all seen it by now but in case you haven’t:

There are a lot of theories about the identity of this person, but one popular one I quite like is that Rover was going to be mayor since he’s the only other person with you on the train. But because he’s a wandering soul at heart he took meeting you as an opportunity to escape. Just an interesting concept is all.

Right above our tent is a sectioned off area for a new villager.

Looks like this emo dude will be joining Cantata very shortly.

It looks like Katrina is here, might as well pay her a quick visit.

Oh shoot I have bad luck today? Or does she always say that? I don’t remember. I just know that sometimes when she predicts you have bad luck you’ll trip a lot when you walk/run.

Let’s see what she recommends. Gonna be something crazy like red leggings or something?

Oh...I mean, I was probably gonna get a hat or two anyway.

After exiting Katrina’s tent I went over to our snowman to get today’s bingo number.

The number of the day is 10 and I’m sorta close to a diagonal bingo except I think it’s too far to the center to count as a bingo.

Portia was just hanging around near the bridge so I thought it was a good time to say hi.

I think the darker purple tones complimented her fur colors a bit nicer but the sweater looks pretty as well.

I’m gonna rate it close to perfect cause it’s pretty, but it’s not amazing or anything.

Oh! Our first friendship gift exchange! How exciting!

I’m gonna be honest. Not digging it. I don’t usually go for the simple clothes with just text on them. But Portia is the real MVP here so we’ll wear it at least for the rest of the day.

Bill’s house was nearby so I dropped in to say hi to him as well. We had a brief conversation about where I decided to place my house and then moving into a writing letters tutorial. I’m hoping the tutorial speak won’t be super frequent but to be fair the previous games had their fair share of tutorial convos as well.

Spotted Peggy standing on top of a fossil hole. If I didn’t know any better I’d say she was trying to hide it.

She gave up and walked away once I made it clear I had spotted the hole.

A conversation with her only resulted in more tutorial speak this time about the bulletin board. I had actually forgotten to check it as a matter of fact. I should probably get into the habit of checking to see if there are any upcoming events since that’s the closest to an in game event calendar we have.

Barold gives a tutorial on screenshots and to be fair if I was a brand new player I would probably be very thankful for this information.

On the way to the top of the map we bump into Wisp.

I wish he had a bit of a character of his own outside of the amiibo functionality. him being nothing but a mechanic in the game kinda removes the excitement of actually finding him.

After that I headed up to Main Street to see what’s in stock.

Oh sweet a bug net. that’ll make 3 of the tools collected.

I’m also really tempted by this sofa, but it probably won’t end up fitting with my house decor. Besides I don’t want to waste a lot of money too quickly.

Stepping into Able Sisters and boy do they have some interesting things in stock!

I’m really digging the long sleeve items and this looks very nice.

I also thought I’d try getting the frog pants so I can get out of that boring default skirt. Buuuut It doesn’t look quite as flattering as I’d hoped.

Maybe it’ll look a bit better with the shirt Portia gave me.

Eh....not reallyy. I think I may have made a mistake.

Anyway let’s see what accessories are in stock. Maybe a hat will help.

Oh. Oh wow. Actually, I think maybe the hat sorta helps.

We are an absolute hot mess of a fashion disaster today guys. I can’t tell if I’m embarrassed or proud.

Let’s go with proud.

Continue session in part 2: https://acnewperspectives.tumblr.com/post/190687117258/technical-difficulties-and-fashion-donts-part-2

#animal crossing #new leaf #animal crossing new leaf #acnl #3ds #nintendo #video games #let's play #new leaf new perspective

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snarkandsarcasmftw · 4 years

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tag games, ftw

I was tagged by both @rampagewriting and @heelsamizayn to answer this and it seems like a fun time and my brain’s being a bag of dicks rn, so whhhhy not... Here we go.

0) Name/Nickname? If ya wanna share it.

Ashley, AA, Snark - mostly on here. Oh and lil bit, but... family only.

1) If you could bring any two fictional characters (from books or film/tv) into the same world who would they be, what world would you put them in, and what would their relationship to each other be?

Uhhh... Uhhh... Okay, alright, hm... This is going to be an unconventional answer but.. I’d take Bucky and Cap and I’d drop them right into the middle of The Walking Dead. Hear me out.. They’re both military trained / enhanced superheroes and they can walk that line of having compassion and being totally ruthless if they must. I think it’d be neat. They’d be friends / psuedo brothers, of course.

2) If you could drop yourself into any fictional world from books or film/tv, which would it be?

Oh god, oh noooo.. Every part of the fifteen year old trapped within my old woman body is screaming at me to answer Harry Potter -cos magic.. But.. I’m going with The Walking Dead. Just for the simple fact that I could smack both Lori and Dale Horvath in the back of the fuckin head.

Alternately.. I’d really wanna hunt vampires with Edgar and Allen Frog, and the eighties were my shit, so.. That too.

3) What’s your spirit animal?

A cat or a raccoon. I have under eye circles, stay up late, eat only junk and I’ll bite if you take my food plus kinda chonky ( raccoon) and I like to take naps, I’m... adamant about cleaning / grooming plus, I like to sit around and give people side eye when they’re doing dumb shit. ( cat.)

4) What is the most unpopular opinion you hold?

NO. NOPE. NOT ANSWERING. ISSA TRAP.

Okay, since I obviously have to put something here, I’ll say it. And I’ll start with wrestling:

Seth Rollins is vastly overrated and I don’t get the whole.. Attraction to him. And the same goes for Cody Rhodes. Also, is it just me or are his fucking intros too long? Idk, maybe that’s me and my lack of patience. If you like either of these, sorry, continue to do you, but.. I’m not a fan and I honestly don’t particularly care about either and this is my own personal opinion. I’m allowed to have one. I’m not saying bad shit about either guy here, if you take it that way, it’s your own damn problem? I’m not telling you not to like them. I’m simply saying I do not.

As far as media goes : Fifty Shades of Gray is fucking dumb. I mean.. 10 page contract.. to get what has to be mediocre dick, at best? And it’s not even written with any regards to true BDSM concepts for the most part? Nah. I’ll pass.

And now, for one about our current situation: I think the idiots who hoarded TP at the beginning of this should be allowed to return things.. Provided it’s unopened, they have a receipt, and they don’t see a fucking dime of the money they spent and that the money from the returns goes to masks / other methods of protection for front line workers or straight into the unemployment packages and the stimulus thing. Like literally, the hoarder gets nothing, people who need TP / sanitizer / etc get UNOPENED NEW PRODUCTS and the front line workers get the proceeds of the voided returns. We all win here. (I realize this probably cannot happen, but. It’s one way to kind of... help this current shit show we’re all trapped in.)

5) How do you like to style your hair most often?

Uhh.. Down. I’m too goddamn lazy to be bothered.

6) I always love this overdone question - you’re allowed three books on a desert island, what do you bring? (Note: Survival Guides don’t count).

The Shining, The Dark Towers series - Stephen King, The Client - John Grisham and The Outsiders - S.E Hinton

7) Something new you’ve learned in quarantine/lockdown/corona times?

That no matter how hard I try, I cannot apply false lashes. That more than two noisy things going in the background is TOO MUCH. Oh and I’m pretty damn good at baking when I bother to try / don’t toss out the directions.

8) Favorite alcohol? (Or non-alcoholic beverage if you don’t drink!)

Haven’t drank in... a while-ish. But my favorite thing to drink when I do is vodka or tequila. Occasionally White Claw ( i know, i know.). Favorite non-alcoholic beverage is water lately.

9) Music you can’t stand? Music you love?

I’m gonna get torn the fuck apart for this but yolo.. I can’t get into K-Pop. I’ve tried. It’s just.. It’s up there with new pop for me. Older boy bands / pop stars? Not a problem. I just don’t like a lot of pop music and I can’t get into K-pop. If you like it, awesome. It’s just not for me personally. Beyond that? I love literally any other kind of music. I have a veeeery varied eclectic listening preference but my all time favorite? 80′s glam / pop or country.

10) Have a favorite herb?

FIRST OF ALL.. GARLIC.. yeah, it’s not a herb buuuut... yeah.. Anyway, for actual herbs..Basil, Rosemary and Sage.. Oh and cilantro. Cilantro will save your ass in a pinch.

11) What kinds of cups/glasses/bottles do you prefer to drink out of?

My big tol cold cup. Or.. my stemless plastic wine glasses, of which I have apparently lost.

12) Preferred mode of communication: texts, phone calls, emails, letters?

Text or email. I’m not... fond of making calls, but I will if I have to. I prefer texts or email. Oh, I do enjoy writing letters now and then.

13) What is your favorite weather?

Not too hot, not too cold. Not too sunny but not overcast and gray either. A light breeze. NO POLLEN.

14) What kind of lighting do you like?

Softer lights, for the aesthetic.. Overhead lighting, so my blind ass can... yannow... see. If I had my way, I’d have candles and string lights every where though.

15) What is the best thing you cook?

Honestly, I feel like it’s my chili or my stew. Alternately, husband seems to ask for chicken / bacon / ranch pasta casserole a lot, so... Idk.. I guess pretty much anything (except fucking hamburger helper, i can NEVER get this shit right, despite directions, sacrifices to the culinary gods and pleas/promises of my first born. It always turns out icky so I never cook it.)

16) Do you have a favorite font to write in?

Handwriting or typewriter fonts for the most part. Roboto when I’m writing / editing my own fics and such.

17) What is something you’ve always wanted to write in a fic, but you’ve been too afraid to? Or, what is something that you were afraid to write, but then you did and it ended awesome?

Honestly, I’m scared to death to write smut. Which is why I’ve been trying to write more of it lately. I won’t say it’s going awesome ( I’m pretty sure some of you sit and read it when I post and are like what the fuck... this isn’t realistic and this is so bad.) but it’s going.

I’ve wanted to dip my toes into writing for more obscure fandoms too. Like ones that I personally enjoy. As far as something I’ve always wanted to write? Horror. But I’m scared to death I’d fuck it up.

18) If you were in your favorite fantasy world, what would your weapon of choice be?

A sword or a knife. Machete, maybe?

19) Is there a commonly used expression/saying that you can’t stand?

While I agree with the answers J and K put to this “It’s in God’s hands, etc” - sometimes things are GOD AWFUL. The last thing I want to hear is what the reason God had for doing it is. So don’t tell me.

Triggered is a useful term.. if it’s used right. And I’m starting to realize that 95 percent of people DO NOT know the proper use. They think that being triggered =‘s a reason to bitch and tear someone apart over some miniature thing they’ve done. So now, when I hear it being misused, it fucking annoys me.

20) What is something that you would like people to know about you?

I’m a grumpy ball of rage. I’m petty as fuck and saltier than all the oceans combined in the right circumstances. But.. I can be a nice person and I love getting to know people and helping people or talking to them. Even if it’s hard for me to start it off bc I’m fucking awkward as fuck also - hence the reason it takes a while for me to actually... attempt... conversing with new people both IRL and on here.

I’m gonna leave this open to anyone who wants to do it bc Idk who has or hasn’t already and I don’t want to annoy people.

This was a blast!

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domestic-harry · 7 years

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Hi Lis! I know you used to do fic recs based on playlists/albums and I know this is a big request buuuut could you do one based off of your H&L Playlist? You're the best!

My H&L Playlist Fic Rec

God Only Knows by The Beach Boys

If you should ever leave meThough life would still go on, believe meThe world could show nothing to meSo what good would livin’ do meGod only knows what I’d be without you

These Inconvenient Fireworks : Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one other eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.

Pretty Boy by Young Galaxy

When we were lostWe found each otherAnd headed sightless for the cityWe had no wayMisfit and stray

Atlas At Last : He doesn’t know what he had been expecting out of the road trip itself besides burping contests and too much shitty gas station food with Oli and Stan, but in the brief moment before Harry ambles up his driveway, Louis idly wonders if this is about to become some sort of Gay Coming of Age story.Maine to California in ten days. In which Zayn’s an open-shirt hippie they meet somewhere in Ohio, Liam’s the pastor’s son running away from home, and Niall’s the number they call on the bathroom wall.It’s 1978. Harry and Louis are just trying to get to San Fran in time for the Queen concert.

Baby I’m Yours by Arctic Monkeys

And I’ll be yours until the stars fall from the sky

Through Struggles, To The Stars : Louis is a Starfleet captain trying to find his place in the universe. Harry is a prince just trying to do what’s right. A Star Trek-inspired AU.

Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winterLittle darling, it feels like years since it’s been hereHere comes the sun, here comes the sunAnd I say it’s all right

Turning Page : Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been. Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

This Magic Moment by The Drifters

And then it happened, it took me by surprise

Hiding Place : Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe.

Wouldn’t It Be Nice by The Beach Boys

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could wake upIn the morning when the day is new?And after having spent the day togetherHold each other close the whole night through

My Heart Is Beating For This Moment In Time : When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they’re put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn’t know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry’s always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

I’m A King Bee by The Rolling Stones

Well I’m a king bee Buzzing around your hive

Wear It Like A Crown : AU. As part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in Buckingham Palace, Louis expects Prince Harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. Never mind that the very same Prince Harry used to star in quite a number of Louis’ teenage fantasies.

Satellite by Gustar

Always the first star that I find

Relief Next To Me : AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

Leather And Lace by Stevie Nicks, Don Henley

Give to me your leatherTake from me my lace

Baby Heaven’s In Your Eyes : Or a sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need.

You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away by The Beatles

And I hear them sayHey you’ve got to hide your love away

Butterfly Gun : Harry has never been much of a fighter, but—as always—where Louis Tomlinson is concerned, a lot of things stop being true.1940’s AU. Even after six years apart, they can’t forget their shared wartime childhood.

Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine

Stole me a dog eared mapAnd called for you everywhere

Have I found you?Flightless bird, jealous, weepingOr lost you?

Finding Lou : Louis is the nomadic stranger who wanders into Harry’s bookstore. Harry is the skeptic who falls for him.

See You Again by Elle King

You were standing thereFire in your eyesAs you held me inSaid, “Sorry, I didn’t write”

The Melody You Never Heard : The one where Harry gets roped into a four-day camping trip with the boy who kissed him and never called back.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys

Secrets I have held in my heartAre harder to hide than I thoughtMaybe I just wanna be yours

Like an Endless Summer : Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley

Wise men say only fools rush inBut I can’t help falling in love with you

The Afterlife Fic : After dying in an accident, Louis Tomlinson arrives in the Afterlife. Not Heaven and not Hell, Louis finds himself in Judgment City UK: a pristine city where the food and entertainment are divine and the newly departed must undergo a Review of their life on Earth to determine if they have lived a life worthy of advancement in the universe, or if they must be returned to Earth to be born again in a new body.On his first full day in the Afterlife, Louis meets Harry Styles, and the two have an instant connection. Over the course of their Reviews, they fall in love and begin to find that even though they didn’t know each other on Earth, they are nonetheless linked to one another in perfect ways. Both are hoping to move ahead in the universe together, but they are challenged with the threat of separation if one or both of them is sent back to Earth to be born again.

Work Song by Hozier

Boys workin’ on emptyIs that the kind'a way to face the burning heat?I just think about my babyI’m so full of love I could barely eat

Been Together Since Way Back When : Louis Tomlinson is a law student with a simple but effective four step plan: 1. Finish law school. 2. Get hired somewhere awesome. 3. Marry his best friend and boyfriend of two years, Harry. 4. Live happily ever after. Harry Styles doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life, where he wants to go, who he wants to be, or if he even wants the college degree he’s almost completed. All he does know is who he’ll be with forever, as long as Louis wants to keep him around. Or: the painfully realistic college au where everyone’s poor, lovesick, tired of school, terrified of the future, and still having the greatest times of their lives.

Lay Me Down by Sam Smith

Yes I do, I believeThat one day I will be, where I wasRight there, right next to you

Emperor’s New Clothes : Harry’s a pop star and Louis isn’t, and there’s a non-disclosure agreement where there used to be a relationship.

Like A Prayer by Madonna

When you call my nameIt’s like a little prayerI’m down on my kneesI want to take you thereIn the midnight hourI can feel your powerJust like a prayerYou know I’ll take you there

Shake Me Down : Harry’s new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac

I never did believe in miraclesBut I’ve a feeling it’s time to try

This Wicked Game : An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

English Rose by Ed Sheeran

I spend my daysJust travelling and playing showsBut my heart still beats For my home and my English rose

Never Be : The one where Harry Styles moves to Connecticut from England for nine months as a part of a study abroad program, and he just so happens to move in with Louis Tomlinson and family.

Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips

Baby I’m not moving onI love you long after you’re gone

Through Eerie Chaos : For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.

Sweetest Devotion by Adele

The way I’m running with you honeyMeans we can break every lawI find it funny that you’re the onlyOne I never looked for

The King of Spades : Undercover Metropolitan Police officer DC Louis Tomlinson has worked his way up the ranks of a prominent London crime family without raising suspicion, but when he finds himself pitted against a rising crime boss with a police background and a favoured employee by the name of Harry Styles, everything starts to unravel. Finding himself in the middle of an escalating war between two bosses whose bad blood runs deep into a violent past, Louis has to be even more careful where he steps in case his big secret catches up to him – and if it does, he knows he won’t survive it.Not to mention he’s falling for someone he can’t have – whose earnestness and honesty is a bright spot in a dark world – he can’t sleep because his nightmares haunt him and he’s in way over his head, but it’s just a game, always just a game, and if Louis plays his cards right he might just make it out alive.

Dear Prudence by The Beatles

The wind is low the birds will singThat you are part of everythingDear Prudence won’t you open up your eyes?

Young & Beautiful : Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

Tiny Dancer by Elton John

But oh how it feels so realLying here with no one near

Never Gonna Dance Again : Louis is a spy and Harry is a dancer. The only real thing they know is each other.

Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart by Ariana Grande

I know I’m not your onlyBut I’ll still be a fool‘Cause I’m a fool for you

Red Brick Heart : Uni AU. Harry had turned up at the halls of residence expecting fun, new friends, and maybe a life experience or two. What he doesn’t expect is a surprise roommate who’s loud and dramatic and obsessed with tea and is maybe, actually, all he’s ever wanted.

Secret Love Song, Pt. II by Little Mix

We keep behind closed doorsEvery time I see you, I die a little more

Don’t Look Down : AU. In which Louis is a solicitor at one of London’s most prestigious law firms and Harry happens to apply for the position as his trainee. And everyone else is around, too.

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths

Good time for a changeSee, the luck I’ve hadCan make a good manTurn bad

Hush : Au where small towns suck, Louis is losing it, and Harry’s just too perfect.

Rubik’s Cube by Athlete

The world is too heavyToo big for my shouldersCome take this weight off me now

Where Your Heart Is: Louis is ready for his brand new adventure. So what if he suffers from a genetic condition that prevents him from being touched? College is going to be awesome. It has to. Karma kind of owes him right now. Forget about his overprotective mother, or Liam– his entirely too chipper step brother– or his mess of a roommate. Forget about the gloves he has to wear at all times. He’s here to expand his knowledge, write and drown himself in books – No matter how distracting ‘Hallway Boy’ may be– The obnoxious, flirty frat wannabe determined to become the bane of Louis’ existence.

Running Back To You by For The Foxes

Hey, old lover, when you fall asleepThere’s a piece of you in every song I singWhere your childhood runs wild and freeWithout me

Empty Skies : For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream – making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He’s still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

Miss You by The Rolling Stones

I’ve been holding out so longI’ve been sleeping all alone

Here In The Afterglow : 1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

I’ve Just Seen A Face by Jim Sturgess

I’ve just seen a face,I can’t forget the time or placeWhere we just met

Nameless Night : For their 18th birthday, every person receives a letter that reads a simple date. That is the date you’ll meet your soulmate. Harry and Louis have different beliefs, live in different worlds and have different dreams, hopes and fears. Yet, they’re not so different from each other when it comes to love. When their paths cross, there is no doubt they belong together. Except for that one, essential difference: they didn’t receive the same date.

I Melt With You by Modern English

I’ll stop the world and melt with you You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time There’s nothing you and I won’t do

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast : A Survivor All-Stars AU in which Harry and Louis are just in this game to win the million dollars, but they end up with something better.

Sweet Disposition by Temper Trap

So stay there'Cause I’ll be coming overAnd while our blood’s still youngIt’s so young, it runsAnd won’t stop 'til it’s overWon’t stop to surrender

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can’t Lose : American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football. A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?

Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode

Someone to hear your prayersSomeone who caresYour own personal Jesus

Escapade : In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He’s rich. He’s handsome. He’s reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

Take On Me by A-ha

Take me on, (take on me)I’ll be goneIn a day or two

Wild and Unruly: Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

Bloodstream by Transviolet

Outlaw love, make you lose control

Wanted Most : Louis Tomlinson is a thief, and a damn good one at that. Most have heard of him. Most don’t understand him. And Harry Styles is the FBI agent who can never seem to catch him.

Boys by Charli XCX

Head is spinning thinking 'bout boys

Wings to Break Your Fall : Strip club AU. Harry’s work and family are keeping him busy. He really isn’t looking for a relationship, doesn’t want one. He just wants Louis. Problem is, Louis has other plans.

Closer by Tegan and Sara

Here comes the breath before we get a little bit closerHere comes the rush before we touch, come a little closer

The Night Sky is Changing Overhead : Harry is a tattoo artist, Louis is a drama professor, and they meet during an argument at a café.

Electric Love by BORNS

Baby you’re like lightning in a bottleI can’t let you go now that I got it

Pillow Talk : When Harry starts having confusing feelings for a male classmate, his sister’s best friend, Louis, helps him figure himself out. Cue lots of kissing, sex, and falling in love.

Safe And Sound by Capital Cities

I could show you loveIn a tidal wave of mysteryYou’ll still be standing next to me

Adore You : Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do. Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.

Fashion by The Royal Concept

'Cause I love the way you wear on meAnd your fashion is so wild and freeHoney, lovin’ you ain’t easy,But I’m not gonna leave you, no, noSo, baby, put your dope-ass crazy fashion on me

A Million Roses (Bathed In Rock N Roll) : Harry sings in smoky dive bars; Louis misses his flight home. they go to coney island in the morning.

What I Like About You by The Romantics

What I like about you, you really know how to danceWhen you go up, down, jump around, think about true romance, yea

Hold Me Closer : Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the company’s history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.

Feel Like Makin Love by Bad Company

And if I had the sun and moonAnd they were shinin’I would give you both night and dayLove satisfying

Loving You Is Free : Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn’t been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

Flowers In The Window by Travis

When I first held you I was coldA melting snowman I was toldBut there was no-one there to hold beforeI swore that I would be alone for ever more

Into The Blue : AU. In which Louis is Harry’s scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can’t be all that difficult to convince Harry that they’re on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

Yellow by Coldplay

Look at the starsLook how they shine for youAnd everything you doYeah they were all yellow

Strawberry Milk Series : An au where Harry paints his nails and drinks strawberry milk and is too nervous for it to be nothing and Louis’ just trying to figure out whats wrong with him

I’d Rather Be With You by Joshua Radin

Finally see you were naturallyThe one to make it so easy when you show me the truthYeah, yeah I’d rather be with youSay you want the same thing too

Speaking of Marvels : AU. Louis is a nanny in suburban New Jersey, and the neighbors’ son is home from college for the summer. It was supposed to be a fling.

Friends by Ed Sheeran

And if you know me like I know youYou should love me, you should know

You Are The Blood : A seventh-year Hogwarts AU in which Niall gets all the girls, Liam goes on a journey of self-discovery, Zayn falls in love, Harry wants something more, and Louis tries to figure out once and for all why he, a Muggleborn, was sorted into Slytherin.

Fallingforyou by The 1975

According to your heartMy place is not deliberateFeeling of your armsI don’t want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Unbelievers : It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan. Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

Stand By Me by Florence + The Machine

No I won’t be afraidJust as long as you stand, stand by me

Give Me Truths : Louis is a psychology student with a tattoo count as high as his genius IQ. Harry is in a (sort-of) relationship with a homophobic man and hates himself a little more every day. Things fall apart and Louis puts him back together.Or, the one in which Louis falls in love with a fragile boy and tells him every beautiful truth in the world, as long as it makes him happy.

Love On Top by Beyonce

Now everybody ask me why I’m smiling out from ear to earBut I know Nothing’s perfect but it’s worth it

Bloodline : Louis doesn’t know how to feel when his best friend, Liam, finds out about a brother that he never knew, who was placed for adoption before he was born and is bursting into his life at twenty-four years old. Louis is very wary of the man who might replace him. He has always thought of Liam as his own brother. What if Liam doesn’t need him anymore? What if there’s no room for Louis? After all, blood runs thicker than water. Louis doesn’t like Liam’s new brother and he doesn’t even know him. That’s irrelevant, though. He doesn’t like him. He doesn’t trust him. He doesn’t want him hanging around. He doesn’t want anything to do with him.That is, until he meets him.

Perfect by Ed Sheeran

I found a love to carry more than just my secrets

Dance to the Distortion : Louis accidentally breaks Harry’s camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.

Look After You by The Fray

When I’m losing my control, the city spins aroundYou’re the only one who knows, you slow it down

Gods & Monsters : The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that’s exactly what he did.

Flowers In Your Hair by The Lumineers

And romanticized the time I sawFlowers in your hair

Your Name Is Tattooed On My Heart : Louis is ready to find the love of his life, but first he has to stop falling for the punk rocker next door.

So Easy

Like a rainbow in a rainstorm makes the flowers growYou’re the reason, I believe in, something I don’t know

When We Were Younger : Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

Ho Hey

I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart

California Sold : Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever. A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

Me And You by Jake Bugg

All of these people want us to failI won’t let that happen noJust you believe meI’ll hide you discreetlyDiscreetly from this cold world

Cupid’s Defense : In which Harry is Cupid, Louis and Liam own a law firm, and they’re all getting sued.

Fire And The Flood by Vance Joy

Since we met I feel a lightness in my stepYou’re miles away but I still feel youAnywhere I go there you are

Chasing Empty Spaces : The year is 1934 and Harry Styles was to inherent the largest tobacco firm in the south. His parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. The problem was, Harry hadn’t realized he didn’t actually want any part of that future until he met a mechanic named, Louis Tomlinson.

I Will Wait by Mumford & Sons

You forgave and I won’t forget

Feels Like Coming Home : The last thing Harry Styles expects when he’s hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that’s exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn’t heard one word from Louis, and he’s moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he’s a chef, isn’t easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he’d left turn out to be not so easily forgotten.

#I............I am embarassed and also proud of just how detailed this rec got #holy fuck that's a 57 fic rec #I have peaked ma dudes #asks #fic rec

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atopfourthwall · 7 years

Text

State of the Wall: 3-28-17

Lots to talk about this time, so click through to see what’s in store for many of my projects in the coming couple of months!

Schedule of Upcoming Episodes 4/3 – Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #4 4/10 – PATREON: Iron Man: The Animated Series: The Wedding of Iron Man 4/17 – Athena #3 4/24 – PATREON: Batman: The Dark Knight #1-3 5/1 – Patreon Viewers’ Choice Event Comics Month 5/8 – Crisis on Infinite Earths 5/15 – Secret Wars (1984) 5/22 – The Infinity Gauntlet 5/29 – Flashpoint

You will notice that for May 1st, we will be having a Patreon Viewers’ Choice! Here’s how it works – for Event Comics Month, I held a poll for what event comics would be covered during that period. Since it was a pretty big success (and because May has five weeks in it), at the end of Athena #3, I will provide a link to a Patreon poll where patrons can vote between three comics that will be reviewed that week. Because it’s been a while since I spotlighted any, they will most likely be PSA Hell subjects. Anyone who contributes at any level to the Patreon can vote in them, but it will be limited only to those patrons. They’ll have a week to vote, then I’ll announce the winner. I’d love to do more like this and we’ll see how it goes with this.

Otherwise, as always, the schedule is subject to change at any time due to unforeseen circumstances, illnesses, or just the material not providing anything to work with for a humorous review.

Platform Changes? The recent scare concerning my youtube channel is, for the moment, resolved. If you haven’t heard about this, you can read up on it HERE. Needless to say, it is over. However, there are still other issues that need to be dealt with. I have recently been informed that Screenwave’s partnership with the JW Player is coming to an end due to the costs of maintaining it. They’ll still remain as you my youtube MCN, at the very least (certainly appreciated after they were instrumental in getting my channel back up).

So what does that mean for the site? Well, that’s uncertain. I’ve contacted the JW Player to see if I can remain and I’d certainly like to – replacing the embed codes around here for a THIRD time would not be fun, especially since we still have occasional hiccups in that department from either lost videos from others or just ones where the embed code has not been replaced. That being said, I do understand the problems people have had with the player. I have not experienced the ad that many have (the still image that seems to prevent the video from ever playing), but I know people DO want to support the site and my work, which is why the youtube versions are so invaluable.

They’ve been helpful in another way – simply put, I make more money on youtube than I do on the Screenwave player. Part of this is sheer volume – more people watch it on youtube, so of course I get revenue there. It’s also partially because people are watching them ON YOUTUBE ITSELF vs. having the videos embedded – ads played through embeds (assuming they play at all) simply don’t pay out the same as when they’re watched on youtube. I have the advantage that with the Screenwave player on this site, there are no competing ads to deal with, so I get a larger revenue share than I do from the embeds on, say, Channel Awesome.

However, if the player DOES have to change yet again, we’re in a bit of a dilemma. I had the previous Screenwave player up and running while Blip was still in operation for a few more months, but I don’t really have yet another player entirely lined up yet. Here’s the issue we have: what player to embed if I have to change over to another? –DailyMotion: Unfortunately, DailyMotion has similar issues to youtube – they have their own ContentID system. However, their support system for dealing with copyrighted material is even less functional than youtube’s, if you can believe that. What’s more, there is a limit on how many videos one is allowed to upload per day, meaning it would take quite a while to get my backlog onto DailyMotion. –Vid.Me: Because of its growing popularity, I HAVE set up a Vid.Me account and have begun uploading videos to it. However, those videos are currently unlisted for a very good reason – the same reason why I am reluctant to use it as a new player on the site – Vid.Me does not have ads. The system is entirely tip-based. If it is a superior player to the JW Player, then more people will be able to watch videos on my site directly… but that would also mean less revenue overall. It IS an option, possibly the best option especially since they pride themselves for the ability to actually speak to humans when dealing with copyright matters (plus no ContentID system, AFAIK). –Amazon: Amazon actually started pushing out their own video distribution system a year or two ago. Some of the other video producers on Channel Awesome gave it a shot at the time, buuuut were mostly unimpressed, especially since the videos required a hardcoded subtitle system for the hearing impaired. It’s not a bad thing to have that, but it’s time-consuming to create that, especially since Amazon used a proprietary format. It’s recent enough that I don’t really know how useful it’d really be, or if it’d be a paid service for people and I prefer my videos be free for anyone to watch. –Vimeo: Vimeo IS a possibility. It’s a fairly solid platform, although like with Vid.Me it doesn’t really have ad-based content. In fact, from what I understand, you have to pay THEM to put ads on the videos and I don’t actually know how profitable that is. It still has its own ContentID system, it’s just a bit more lenient and, like Vid.Me, you can actually resolve it by talking to human beings. –Just Embed the Youtube Videos: This option… has its problems. Like I said above, embedded youtube videos don’t earn as much money as one does by just watching on youtube’s site. And frankly, if they’re embedded already, there’s no reason to GO to youtube to watch them. In addition, as we saw with the suspension of my channel, it’s nice to have a backup video player on hand so that people CAN watch stuff (for the most part, since many still had problems watching them) if something happens. Still, I’m open to anything.

So there we go. I’m eager to hear people’s feedback, although hopefully there won’t be any need to change anything. We’ll see, though.

History of Power Ranger Rangers It sadly feels like, despite my continual attempts to highlight these update posts whenever possible, encouraging people to visit the site, people will often miss that, indeed, they exist and often have the information they’re looking for. That information usually being “When’s the next History of Power Rangers coming?” And, of course, thanks to Patreon you HAVE that answer again… and perhaps even more to come, but that’ll be discussed below in the Patreon section.

In any event, Dino Charge is coming, as I stated in the last State of the Wall post. No, I still have not watched any more than last time. I’ll be doing that in April. No, I have not watched any of Ninja Steel and it’s likely I won’t be until it comes time to do that one. If you wanted my opinions on the movie, I did a Midnight Screenings video for Brad Jones on it, which you can find on my site by searching for it or searching his own site or youtube page.

Otherwise, of course, the current schedule: DinoCharge: April 27th Ninja Steel: N/A

In case you missed it, I did put up revised versions of the Turbo videos on youtube, which you can find HERE and HERE. In Space is taking a back seat for a while until I can figure out how to keep in the “Under Pressure” montage. Best guess right now is to make a cover, but we’ll see how things go.

T-Shirts Sorry to say that the Comicron Crew shirt did not get enough sales to justify keeping it around on Shark Robot. As a reminder, shirts require 20 pre-orders in order to remain on their site permanently. That being said, this one was partially my fault – giving it three colors meant it was technically three different shirts, so it spread the potential preorder sales in too many directions. Still, combined they wouldn’t have added up to 20 anyway.

I’m going to continue with the shirt idea – patrons will be able to vote on the next shirt among five options every few months and hopefully next time around we’ll get a keeper. As a reminder, though, the I am a Man shirt is still available HERE and those who DID preorder the Comicron Crew shirts will get them.

Patreon The Patreon is getting a few revisions! For starters, I’m going to be ending the $30 “Video Promotion” pledge. In recent times, few have taken advantage of it (either because of squatters in the spot or simple noninterest). The pledge will disappear at the end of March. I am of course open to suggestions for other pledge perks that could be done.

The bigger news is this – the milestones have been reorganized! I had originally placed the tiers much higher due to the fact that when I originally began the Patreon, I grouped them all so closely together that they all got fulfilled quickly. SO quickly, in fact, that I am still struggling to fulfill them two years later (some, like the additional Longbox videos, were easier – the AT4W Episode Guide not so much). It was also hoped that it would encourage more people to contribute to it and hopefully reach some loftier goals.

Unfortunately, it has not proven so – possibly BECAUSE they’re so much higher. As such, here are the new milestone levels, and definitely more likely to be achieved than going as high as $6000.

$3500: A Let’s Play of Star Trek: Elite Force II will be made and on a schedule. $4000: Other “History of…” videos will be produced, in particular focusing on other American tokusatsu works like Beetleborgs, VR Troopers, Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog, etc. $5000: Both a 90s Kid and a Harvey Finevoice show will be produced, though due to the workload of other projects, will NOT be on a schedule.

So yeah, hopefully with the rearrangement of those goals as being a lot closer to where we are now, it will encourage people to get there.

As a reminder, ONLY those who pledge at the $10 level are given a spot in the end credits. You can of course give more than $10, but you have to specifically select THAT perk to get it. Those in the $20 pledge slot for a DVD and badge are NOT given the name in the end credits.

Let’s Play Pokémon Omicron The next Pokémon Omicron stream is scheduled for Monday, May 8th at 7 PM Central time! The current plan is stop playing the game after the Elite 4 (or, at least, the conclusion of the main storyline of the game). I know many would like me to do the post-game quests, but frankly this Let’s Play has gone on for far too long already and the end is finally in sight, with the last stream managing to get us the seventh badge. I’d be happy to return to the game someday, but I have hopes for more gaming content on the site and having an unfinished Let’s Play hanging over things is kind of irritating.

As it happens, I’ve been working hard in getting more videos pumped out for it! I’m hoping we can continue at a good pace, releasing several per week so we can finally be caught up, especially since at the time of this posting the episodes next coming out are from a stream done last year. Obviously we still have some catching up to do with the amount of footage I have.

My Twitch channel is HERE!

The Deathmate Problem As I have mentioned in the PO Unboxing videos and at conventions, I have many copies of Deathmate and I’d like to finally get around to reviewing them. For those unaware, Deathmate is the infamous crossover between Image and Valiant that likely is responsible for the beginning of the end of Valiant Comics. It’s been heavily requested by viewers before, with some speculating I’m saving it for a major episode… but nah, that’s not the case. I can tell you it’s not going to be this year, because I had INTENDED to review them as the first thing in January 2018. However, I’ve run into a few problems with that.

Firstly, Deathmate has a total of six issues, including prologue and epilogue. However, each issue has multiple stories within it – meaning if I were to do two issues per week, I’d actually be reviewing quite a few stories at once… aaaand let’s face it, with how generic a lot of early Image books were, there’s a reason we’ve mostly focused on Youngblood-related stuff. That means we’d be covering a crossover between a lot of characters that neither I nor the viewers are necessarily familiar with. Basically it’d be three weeks in a row of “I don’t know who these people are.” So that brings us to the next question: would people prefer we wait for Deathmate until we’ve met some more Image or Valiant characters? And finally: would people prefer we have all of Deathmate in a big three-week period or, like some other miniseries I’ve done, be spread out over however long it takes?

Longbox of the Damned As I mentioned last time, the storyline for AT4W has taken FAR LONGER than it should have. There are still many segments left and I’m hoping to finally get those out of the way in the coming months. However, that runs right into the issue of all my other projects I’m working on. Pokémon Omicron is fine – it’s not on any set schedule, so it can be put on the backburner if it needs to. However, the summer Longbox videos have become their own thing, necessitating a lot of time in planning, filming, and editing – especially if I do intend to stick to the daily schedule. As we saw last year with the Twilight Zone comics, it’s proven very difficult to get those videos out as planned.

As such, I am open to the idea that this year, we may just have to skip the Midsummer’s Nightmare and use its theme for next year. An alternative idea I had was maybe less videos, but more content – covering multiple things in a single video and spread them out over a week, or weekly over the course of a month or so. I’ d love to hear some thoughts on this, since I certainly want to do the summer videos, but it’s very stressful on top of everything else going on.

Conventions Animinneapolis – Once again, for any of you Minnesota locals who want to meet me, I’ll be at Animinneapolis at the Hyatt Regency Minneapolis in, well, Minneapolis on May 26-28!

EDIT: Sadly, Wausaubicon has been cancelled, so I will not be making an appearance there.

Anime Midwest – I’ll of course be at Anime Midwest again at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare in Rosemont, Illinois on July 7-9!

I’ve gotten confirmation that I will NOT be attending Too Many Games this year. This doesn’t mean I won’t attend in future years, just that they want to rotate out some people to make sure the experience is fresh for attendees and not ALWAYS the same people every year. Expect some more con announcements for the rest of the year!

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