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x-reader-theater · 3 years

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SPENCE WITH A SUGAR DADDY BREATHE IF YOU AGREE

Spence starts showing up to work with more expensive clothes like designer shoes and meaby even designer wool vests and the team is kinda worried that Spencer has picked up another addiction, gambling. (Except of course Spence is a genius and winns all the time but an addiction is an addiction) But Spency is all like 'nah i just gotta crazy ass rich boyfriend' and the boyfriend (reader) is like a brain surgeon and crazy rich because of that. So obviously the team wants to meet the reader over at dinner in the readers huge ass mansion so Rossi and the reader bond over being rich or something and the team is happy that Reid finally found someone nice

--💿

Sorry I didn't get to everything. I hope this is still good :) Edited by @mystic-writes

Warnings: Light Cursing and me knowing way too much about fashion for no reason other than it was a hyperfixation for me at one point. Also no Gucci because it has become less Haute Couture and more everyday couture because of how big it's moved away from runways and how ugly their shit is. It's not artistic. I could go on for hours but I won't bore you.

Gif by @reidgifs

Spencer walks into the office, adjusting his new glasses on his face. The round frames are new, and not something he's quite used to yet, but the thin metal of the eyeglasses isn't in his vision as much, and he isn't bumping into as many things as before.

"Whoah," Derek says as Spencer sits down. "You got new glasses, Pretty Boy?"

Spencer nods. "My contacts dried up last night, so I decided to wear my glasses. My boyfriend's been pushing me to wear them ever since he got them for me for my birthday," he explains, pushing them up his nose.

"Your boyfriend, huh?" Emily asks, sitting down at her own desk. "Probably why you're wearing something you wouldn't normally wear. I mean, you're the epitome of nerd. You usually don't wear anything but square glasses."

Spencer rolls his eyes and takes his glasses off, putting them on the desk. He's not going to wear them if they're going to make fun of him.

Derek plucks them off the desk and takes a closer look, making sure not to touch the lenses, but he tries to see what kind of glasses they are. "Dior?"

Emily looks up at that, holding her hand out to grab the glasses. Derek hands them over and she inspects them as well, gasping. "Your boyfriend got you *Dior* glasses? These must have been expensive!"

Spencer shrugs. "He never tells me how much things are. Says I can look it up if I'm curious."

"Okay, well, I'm curious," Emily says as she sets down the glasses, and Derek rushes over to her computer, looking over her shoulder.

Spencer puts his glasses back on and takes an awkward picture of himself before sending it to you.

"Holy shit…" Derek says, leaning into the screen more.

"Spencer, those glasses are worth almost three hundred dollars," Emily explains.

Spencer just ignores her as you text him back, "*Wow. You look amazing. I'm so glad I got those for you.*"

He grins at his phone before putting it away. Emily and Derek are still gawking at him when JJ walks by and stops, before saying, "I like your glasses, Spence. They really suit you."

He grins again and replies, "Thanks."

–

Spencer walks up to the jet, new go-bag in hand, and when he walks on, all eyes are on him. He places the go bag overhead, before sitting down. He crosses his legs so one of his ankles is resting on his knee, showing off his new shoes as well.

"So…" Derek says, trailing off, obviously not wanting to be the first one to speak. "Where'd you get that new go-bag?"

"My boyfriend," Spencer says casually, reaching into his messenger bag and pulling out a book.

"And he just so happened to buy you a limited edition Louis Vuitton duffle?" Rossi asks.

Spencer shrugs as Emily says. "His shoes. They're Prada too. Expensive. Probably a thousand or more. They're from the newest collection."

"How the hell does your boyfriend have money like this?" Derek asks.

"He's a brain surgeon. And I always chip in a little for the things he gets me," Spencer says casually, as if this isn't a big deal. "Besides. You should see his closet. It's full of things right off the runway. He took me to Milan last year and bought a bunch of Haute Couture with, and for, me."

Everyone just stares there, gawking at Spencer, before Hotch cuts in, saying, "Focus. We have work to do. We're leaving in 15."

–

You grin at Spencer, who's wearing his matching, light brown coloured, wool, Yves Saint Laurent suit with his Versace, black shirt with the gold pattern on the collar, and he's even wearing the glasses and Prada shoes you bought him. You yourself are clothed head to toe in a classic, houndstooth Channel original from one of their 2006 runways.

"You look incredible," you say, holding a hand out on the table.

Spencer blushes as he grabs it. "You say that all the time."

"Well, I guess you look amazing all the time," you say with a shrug and a smirk. "I love when you wear the things I buy for you."

"People at work are starting to notice how expensive it is," Spencer says, almost ashamed to be saying this.

You roll your eyes and squeeze his hand. "Please. It doesn't matter what they think. As long as you like it," you say. "And besides, I'm going to get it if I can afford it. It goes back to the designers and helps them make more."

You shrug as you say this. "I know… and I feel good in it…"

"Then what's the problem?" you ask, kissing his knuckles.

"I guess I'm just embarrassed," he says.

You shake your head. "Don't be. They should be embarrassed for not looking nearly as good as you." Spencer blushes but grins and you kiss his hand one more time before letting go and looking at the menu for the upscale, French, expensive restaurant you're sitting in. "I heard from a friend at this fashion school that this atelier is going to finish out his four years at the school with a new and intriguing runway. I was going to go to it. If you're not busy, maybe you'd want to come with me?"

Spencer just smiles and picks up his own menu. "If I'm not busy, I would love to."

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid #criminal minds reader insert #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #my work #my writing

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frenchly-anxious · 3 years

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If James Bond was French, she would be a 54 years old woman working as a business coach, and there would be no movie because all the villains would be insanely bad at their job

Or: if we French people can’t make good spy/mercenary movies, it’s simply because our real spies/mercenaries absolutely suck.

Story time.

A few months ago, I stumbled upon the craziest news report of my life so far. It started small: an assassination attempt last July, just outside of Paris. Like, wow, that sucks, but okay. Yet as I’m watching the news, I realized they made a full documentary on that. Weird, I thought.

Except no, it made perfect sense to make a big deal out of it because seriously, that story just keeps on giving to the point I'm still waiting to be told it was a joke. Let me share this masterpiece.

The story starts unexpectedly with... a father driving his son to daycare. And as he’s driving, he spots a car haphazardly parked, with 2 men inside. As soon as he meets their eyes, they seem to panic: one feigns to sleep, while the other ducks forward to hide his face. They’re both dressed in black and are wearing gloves in the middle of July. The father drives on, stops a few streets away and call the police.

At this point, I was like “Who are those 2 buffoon? They reacted the way a child does when he knows he stayed up past his bedtime”.

The police arrived and searched them. They found out the car had fake license plates but more than that, they found a bag containing a loaded gun and its makeshift silencer, as well as 2 army knifes. The men were obviously arrested on the spot.

The police, expecting some kind of burglars, was in for quite the ride.

Very quickly, one of them started talking. He told the police he was a member of the DGSE (= kinda the French equivalent of CIA, in less popular), and they were on an official mission. In what I can only assume was an amazing show of self-control, an officer succeeded in not laughing out loud and instead asked him to elaborate. Which he did. He calmly explained they were on a mission to assassinate a woman who was actually working as a spy for Mossad.

I imagine the officers politely nodded as they were taking notes and then after leaving the room they started laughing hysterically while filing papers for a transfer to a psychiatric ward.

Except than when they checked, the 2 men were indeed working for the DGSE.

The what the fuck intensified, but not in the expected direction.

The police obviously turned to the woman they said they were about to assassinate. The victim indeed lived right where the DGSE agents were waiting. She was a successful “business coach”, living a quiet life and was absolutely not expecting to see police show up at her doorstep saying “hey, so, you basically almost got killed by two men waiting in front of your house, who had been following you for a few days and had also put a tracker on your car, and, well, they’re saying you’re actually working for Mossad. Can we come in?”

I can’t imagine how baffling that conversation must have been.

That 54 years old woman, Marie-Hélène Dini, had obviously no link with the Mossad. At all.

In this story of ridiculously bad mercenaries, the only one who acted correctly was her: after answering to the police, who probably told her “well that was unexpected. Better be extra careful from now on. Have a great day, ma’am!”, she turned off her phone, packed a few things and left her home, not telling anyone where she was going, and kept moving from place to place every couple of days to make sure no one could find her.

She was scared and confused, because who could want her dead?

The answer to that question is as baffling as the rest of the story: it was another “business coach”, who didn’t appreciated the fact she wanted to regulate their profession and thought the appropriate solution to that what to eliminate her.

But that’s not all! How did this guy found mercenaries to begin with? Well that’s easy: he had contacts because he was part of masonic lodge, just like our two stupid mercenaries.

Yes, freemasonry has entered the chat.

The story just shifted from mercenaries to secret organization.

One of the suspect, who was seriously talkative for a secret agent from a secret organization, explained they had other contracts like that. Only one resulted in an assassination so far: Laurent Pasquali, an ex-driver of the 24 Hours of Le Mans. He had indeed suddenly disappeared in 2018, his squeleton only found a year later without much clues of what had happened. Well, he apparently scammed the wrong sponsor, who decided to engage someone to bring back their money... and that someone apparently failed spectacularly because “the contract went wrong” and they killed him. Talk about going wrong.

The police linked a few other cases to these guys and a few of their “friends”: arson, violence, assassination attempts,...

All eyes obviously turned to the DGSE. Who went: “We can’t deny a few of those lunatics were working for us, but we don’t have ANYTHING to do with their mercenary/freemason job on the side!”

And if it looks like they’re not lying, it still isn’t very reassuring to see who is working for our foreign intelligence agency (granted, they were apparently just security guards for a DGSE site, but still)

So anyway. As I was saying:

James Bond isn’t French and there is a reason for that.

(because if she was, she would be a 54 years old woman working as a business coach, and there would be no movie because all the villains would be insanely bad at their job)

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skittlewaffle · 3 years

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Oh! explain the dream!

*cracks knuckles*

So I think it all started in the middle of the series. Like how your friends show you season 2 or 3 of a show you haven’t seen season 1 of :P It was like I was in a version of Demon Slayer that took place across like.. from my own neighborhood to New Jersey for some reason?? I swear my own identity was changing between characters like Tanjro and Nezuko, but despite that I never stopped being me, and everyone in the dream recognized that.

First thing I remember was me having a quick flashback to my backstory (which happened later in the dream when I rewinded to season 1 lol; I’ll explain it now so it makes more sense chronologically). My mom was driving me to NJ to show me the demon slayer training camp. It was.. more militaristic than I expected...? Like literally we were driving on a dirt path in a ditch just deep enough to avoid the gunfire of people at target training overhead. I kept telling my mom to turn around cause I was scared, but she went kinda crazy and drove forward faster. I guess I just kinda clipped outside of the car before it crashed into the main building and started a fire, as well as an uprising. I was trying to find safety while people around me fought each other.. for some reason bees was a major cause of death; guess there were a lot of hives. But it resulted in HUGE piles of dead bees afterwards. Anyways, I had climbed up a wooden tower and stayed there until everything had blown over and someone told me to come down. (Also I swear Laurent Thierry was there too hdbcjsn) It’s kinda blurry, but I think this might’ve been where I first saw Giyu.

Back to where I started, we were by the driveway of my house. I think I had broken my bike after riding it a little, and I suddenly got flashbacks of my mom’s death in that car crash. Giyu came out from the driveway and asked me what was wrong. I kinda went off topic from what I was thinking and began to vent to him about how useless I was as a demon slayer, and a fighter in general. I think these were my real life insecurities making it’s way into my dreams because I’m currently having a rough time with my dad. Giyu was walking around and going off about how that’s not true, while I got teary-eyed. My laptop was in front of me so I typed while he spoke, allowing him to come back to it when he was done talking for the time being. He understood that I was too upset to say things out loud. He came back to read what I typed: that I had an argument with my dad recently and that he’s been telling me negative things about me. And Giyu said something along the lines of, “Don’t listen to him. Your dad can’t tell you what you think or feel, or who you are as a person.”

You know what happened afterwards? We hugged. We had a real hug and it felt so nice... I never get hugs like that from anyone irl except for the person who just happens to be my abuser. I often only hug my dad to keep him appeased and so he doesn’t lecture me about how distant I’ve become. So to share affection not coldly, but out of genuine love, with someone who really does care about me, was a breath of fresh air. It was a fairly long hug, too.

Afterwards, he invited me to ride out of the neighborhood on our bikes. Mine was broken so he gave me this electronic scooter I could sit down on. I felt so small compared to him as we rode out, but the good kind of small!

So we stopped at a corner outside the gas station by our house. And suddenly, we were surrounded by bullies. No bueno. Some of them just kinda stood there and watched, while others took action against us. I was still sitting on my scooter until some girl kicked me off, and I looked at her, trying to seem uninterested. I was on and off fighting people back and just standing there and taking it, like Giyu was. He wasn’t doing a thing until suddenly, he started running back towards the neighborhood. He was a little out of character, shaking his head and trying not to cry while some bullies managed to keep up with him and hit him a bunch. This is when I got outwardly angry. I shoved the girl and picked my scooter up (it turned into some fancy skateboard lol) and I whacked every other person with it while I chased after the most powerful bully on Giyu’s back, who looked a lot like Genya. Normally, in chases like these, the dream would slow me down to where I’m not able to run, but I was filled with Tanjiro’s indignation. I ran as fast as I possibly could and did that thing where they seem to teleport in their run, and once I reached the guy, that slow-mo scene happened where I kick him in the back and he falls, emphasizing the impact he makes on the ground before I chop him on the chest / shoulder on his bounce up, knocking him out.

... I think he dropped an item as they do in video games lol,, it was a box of big puzzle pieces, which I guess had some kind of significant meaning other than being a trophy of my win. Later, Giyu and I rented a little hotel room and began to settle in. We had two of these boxes, which we put on a little shelf on the dresser. He placed the demon slayer manga on top of it lol. Y’know?? We started to live a domestic life there!! We were able to comfortably talk to each other and make eye contact n such haha... When I asked him what he wanted for lunch / dinner and he answered chicken-something (I don’t remember.. some Japanese dish maybe) I said in my mind, I dunno how to make that, but I’ll cook anything for you babe ♡ When he was arranging stuff in our mini fridge and he asked me to hold the door open for him even tho it stayed open by itself,, I had to ask why. And he HECCIN complimented the way I open the door ?? He basically said that it blew his mind. Uhm, excuse me?? Normally, nothing impressed him much, especially how someone opens doors. Now that I think about it, it might be a nod to me struggling to open up sometimes, and that he was proud of me for doing so 🥺 or maybe he just thought I was beautiful in general hdncjdnx... (I was wearing colors like Nezuko’s btw, just thought I’d mention that cause I love her outfit.)

He went out of character again at the ending “Taisho Era Secret” sequence. He was with Shinobu and he accidentally started going off about how wonderful I was. His behavior was almost a toned down version of Zenitsu’s and he ran away afterwards out of embarrassment! Not something I’d normally imagine him doing, but it was sweet nonetheless. Shinobu just kinda stood there like “Oh my!” before giving the viewers the Taisho Era Secret they were waiting for. I don’t remember what it was or if it even happened lol

There might be a few things I didn’t write down soon enough to remember vividly, but still. It’s this very dream that made me simp for Giyu Tomioka. Show me emotional support (in a comfortable, sensitive, and caring way), and my heart belongs to you. And guess who did that? Giyu. And for someone as quiet and reclusive as him, it means so much to me.

#ask #anon #k rambles #giyu #f/o #demon slayer #dreams #long post

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comfcrt · 4 years

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shawn mendes , cis male. , he & him. –– if you hang outside of the rits for long enough , you might catch mattias kenley leaving. you know , the twenty-two year old heir ? i hear they’re in apartment 43J and have lived here at the rits for three years. tenants seem to deem them as rits’ resident machiavellian, seems pretty fitting to me. & broken liquor bottles , winding up in the press for all the wrong reasons , st. laurent suits , & angelic personas.

hi friends , i’m gray ( they / them ) & this is my first of two babies , mattias. comes from a long line of money & is very much a chaotic rich boy who only loves his mom & his siblings. i’m sorry about him , he kinda sucks.

basic statistics :

name : mattias james kenley : mat , mj by his mom.

age : twenty - one.

occupation : heir , socialite.

orientation : bisexual

hometown : manhattan , ny.

appearance :

faceclaim : shawn mendes

height : 6′2

build : muscular

style : always in name & on brand clothes.

background & personality.

comes from a family of money –– great - grandparents were the founders of kenley hotels , a well known & prestigious hotel chain. company was passed down to his father , arthur kenley. aruthur & his wife delaney were never able to have children & adopted three kids – mattias being the youngest. mattias was raised by his birth family until he was one before being adopted by the kenleys.

mattias was raised in manhattan , but has traveled around a lot with his family. takes after his father in all of his ways –– a bit arrogant , loud , mischievous , secretive. no one ever really know what mat’s thinking unless he wants them to.

an absolute mama’s boy. this boy loves his mom & she’s the only one he’ll listen to and the only one that can really control him. can’t be controlled by no man but will absolutely stop what he’s doing if his mom asks him to.

definitely has a name in ny because of his family. –– everyone knows the kenley kids. somehow , his imagine within his family is very pure. he’s seen as the baby , the angel. except , he’s not. he doesn’t do anything to promote his angelic image and is actually more known to be a whole DEMON , but lets the press see him however they want to see him.

super super charming , but also pretty manipulative. can & will get whatever he has his mind set on. doesn’t exactly mean he’s a shitty person , but he’s pretty chaotic & definitely isn’t known for being sweet. pretty much just says & does whatever he wants at any point.

this is short but this is all i’ve got an the demon for now , i will probably add more once i think of it !

wanted connections.

honestly , i didn’t write any because i’m lazy but i do have some general ideas.

friends with benefits - this is pretty basic.

exes - mat would likely be the heartbreak in any situation though i would love for someone to have hurt him.

best friend - maybe someone who grew up in manhattan and has always dealt with mats shit.

frenemies - do love a good enemies plot.

party friends - pretty basic.

honestly anything ??? pls love him , he sucks.

#rits.intro #okay i have to eat so dominics will come after !

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nothoughtsjust-vibes · 4 years

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I started Twilight for the thousandth time because I hate myself and this time I recorded most of my thoughts and, since I have no one irl, I have To shout them into the Void

1. Why is all the dialogue so cringey?

2. Why would she remember her favorite dessert at a rando diner when she hasn’t been there in several years?

3. The coloring is just so blue

4. Why does she look SO PALE?! Is it because K Stew was actually supes pale or because the director wanted her to look vampiric?

5. Why does Bella sound like she’s gonna cry when she implies that the guys at school are sexually harassing her? Could it be BECAUSE THEY WERE DOING THAT?!

6. “Things were getting a little strange”? Just because he wasn’t in school? Bitch, you met him once and he was an ass, any sane person would just forget it.

7. “You’re not in Phoenix anymore, Bells”. They don’t have animals in Phoenix?

8. Why is every guy so invested in Bella?

9. Their first convo in class is SO AWKWARD!!! Is that bad directing and writing or is it genius?

10. “Any cold wet thing, I don’t really...” fast forward two years she’s getting dicked down by vampire cock

11. Her telling Edward about her mom and Phil is so awkward. Like, he needs to ask her to explain things that she should know need explaining. “Why’d you move here?” “My mom remarried...” “So, you don’t like the guy?” “No, Phil’s fine....”

12. When there’s a vamp as attractive as Carlisle, why would she ever go for the son?

13. The big question is why would anyone go for Edward when Carlisle is RIGHT THERE!?

14. What I wouldn’t give for a book of Cullen origin stories: Jasper in the Civil War? Alice in the Salem Witch Trials? Rosalie getting epic revenge on her rapists? Carlisle’s everything!? YES PLEASE!!!!!

15. How Edward doesn’t realize breaking into someones room and watching someone when they’re sleeping is fucking creepy, I’ll never know

16. Rosalie shoulda knocked sense into Edward to not be a creeper

17. Bella is supes rude to Mike by just not paying attention when he’s taking to her

18. Jesus, Mike’s eyes are GORGEOUS. Don’t know how I didn’t see that before

19. I would want this guy as my science teacher

20. Has Edward ever talked to a girl outside his family? Like....ever?!

21. You don’t hit a bus door to get the driver to open it. Because of this movie, I did that one time and now I hate teenage me for that

22. WHY IS EVERYONE IN THESE MOVIES SO GODDAMN SKINNY!?!

23. Love that vampires don’t need to eat, but Emmett is eating in a cafeteria scene

24. “If you were smart, you’d stay away from me.” HOW BOUT YOU STAY AWAY FROM HERE DUDE!?! MAYBE STOP GOING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP

25. KrimsonRogue said if you can use anything besides rape, don’t use rape. Maybe SMeyer should’ve heard similar advice and taken it

26. So Jacobs just not gonna introduce his friends?

27. “You caught that, huh?” They were a foot away from her and no one else was talking

28. I remember that in this beach scene, Bella was trying to seduce Jacob into talking. And she was like, 17 and he 15 which, even if not bad with age gap, still creepy. And she’s not good at it. And doesn’t need to do it.

29. Why she shrieking? It’s a goddamn rope he’s chasing her with

30. Why are the villain vamps so goddamn dramatic?

31. Why is Bella’s google searching so instantly effective?

32. Why does she go all the way to Portland to buy one book, flip to one page, take one word from one caption of one illustration, and then never touch the book again?

33. Bella is super not a good travel companion. Why didn’t she just drove her own self to Portland to go to the bookstore?

34. How she get so lost?

35. How did she not answer her cell while her friends were freaking out about where she was?

36. Why are her friends just leaving her with this very strange dude who never interacts with anyone?

37. That first line the waitress delivers to Edward feels like very bad acting.

38. It’s hilarious that corpse feet made her immediately think of Edward

39. How could she just barely graze Edwards fingers with hers and immediately have a shock reaction of “Your hands are so cold”

40. Okay, even with all this “evidence”, no normal person would be like, “Yup yup, he’s a vampire” and then have some dramatic confrontation in the forest during school

41. She just ditches her backpack in the forest. I assume she needs it

42. “Sometime you speak as if you’re from a different time” Bitch, when?

43. These are not normal conversations that happen in these movies

44. Bella is not normal. Dude she’s known for two days says he’s probs gonna kill her and she’s just like “Yeah, cool”

45. Why does he think his sparkle skin is a turn-off? I’d be like, “Hell, yeah, you never need to buy body glitter”

46. How she trust him after, like, two weeks and a couple conversations? I don’t trust people with my FEELINGS after two years, this bitch trusting an admitted murderer with her LIFE after two weeks

47. “I’m not afraid of you. Only afraid of losing you.” EXCUSE ME BITCH WHAT!?!? YOUVE KNOWN HIM TWO WEEKS

48. YOU CANT FALL IN LOVE THAT FAST!!!!!

49. Okay, but why’d Angela say “Oh my god” before Bella even got out of the car? All that she saw was the car drive up and Edward get out

50. Why were people staring? That’s not how high school works. People don’t REALLY give a shit who’s dating who unless they’re queer

51. I get the convo montage is to indicate they’re spending a lot of time together, but they’d have to remember the exact place they left off in the conversation or just have the same conversation over and over

52. Only living on tofu would not keep you strong

53. Okay, that cut of him jumping from the rock and cut to him jumping into the truck bed is very good

54. “Here comes the human”..... WHO SAID THIS LINE!?!? It sounded very happy, BUT THE ONLY TWO WOMEN IN THE ROOM WERE ESME AND ROSALIE AND ROSALIE WAS NOT HAPPY AT ALL AND ESME WASNT SPEAKING

55. If I were in Bella’s position, among other things I woulda done different, I woulda eaten the shit out of that Italian meal the Cullens prepares for me

56. The scene in Edwards bedroom is so goddamn awkward, but I feel like that works since she’s super awkward and he’s a 108 year old virgin who’s never spoken to a girl before her

57. Why she just turn his stereo on without permission?

58. I heard Claire de Lune is like, the most basic piece ever. Writers couldnta been more creative?

59. How is taking her on a tree climbing adventure making her dance?

60. “So, you and Cullen, huh? I don’t like it.” YOU KNOW WHAT MIKE!?! FUCK OFF!!! YOU HAVE NO GODDAMN SAY IN IT

61. What the hell was that twerking to the daughter of the chief while the chief was there?

62. So he’s been watching her sleep for the past couple months. She got there middle of the semester. So around March. A couple months would make it June. HOW LONG IS THIS SCHOOL YEAR!?!

63. Why Edward couldn’t have bounced with Bella before the villain group got there is beyond me.

64. THIS SCENE WHERE BELLA TALKS SHIT TO CHARLIE AND LEAVES THE HOUSE!!!! THIS IS THE PART I HATE THE MOST BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY GODDAMN WAYS SHE COULDVE LEFT HOME FOR A COUPLE DAYS!!!! “I’m gonna go stay at Jessica’s house for the weekend” “I’m gonna go to Angela’s house for the weekend” “I wanna take a weekend trip with Jessica” “I wanna go visit Mom for a couple days” LITERALLY ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT WOULDA WORKED THERE WAS NO GOOD REASON FOR HER TO HURT HIS FEELINGS LIKE THAT

65. If Rosalie could smell Bella across the field when there was no breeze, why can’t James smell her standing five feet from her?

66. Laurent really didn’t give them any helpful information. James is super dangerous? Yeah, Edward already got that. Victoria is dangerous? Yeah, that’s kinda common sense. Thanks for nothing, you French bastard

67. Man, why the tits did Bella not just tell Alice and Jasper about James supposedly having her mom hostage? Seems like she should trust the group of seven vamps to beat two

68. How did Alice see James going to the ballet studio but not James calling Bella?

69. “I don’t regret the fact that I’m gonna die because at least I got to meet Edward” is what she’s basically saying. As the great Ronald Weasley said, “She needs to sort out her priorities.”

70. The level of dependency Bella exhibits when Edward tells her she has to go to Jacksonville is truly terrifying.

#twilight renaissance #twilight #i hate myself

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swinterr · 5 years

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Valerie II

before reading the story please take note of this:

viviane valentin is played by the beautiful irinashayk

and vernon valentin is played by this greek god—francisco lachowski

Before Valerie and her family went to LA. Valerie cleaned up her closet, taking out everything that reminds her of Shawn. I mean if you want to move on you need to forget right? How could you forget if you still have some things that reminds you of you ex.

Picking up Shawn’s Harvard hoodie, she remembers when she got accepted to the school.

Valerie is sitting between Shawn’s legs the couple are in the living room on their condo, Valerie recently applied to Harvard University. Her mom wants her to be a model but she wanted to finish college first.

“Shawn stop moving your makin’ me nervous.” She placed her laptop in her lap and cuddled close to Shawn.

As Valerie opens her laptop Shawn keeps on kissing her neck and cheeks. “Dudeee, stop it.” Valerie whined.

“I can’t you’re so cute, I wanna be with you forever” Shawn hugs Val closer to him, if that’s even possible.

“Stop being sappy, you’re making me blush”

I wanna be with Shawn forever too.

Valerie is again tearing up as she reminisce the memory. She misses him so much.

Then she saw his HEAVEN shirt that she loves so much Shawn gave t to her.

Shawn is sitting at the railing while he is having a little photoshoot.

“Can we take a break I’m tired, I need my girlfriend’s kisses.”

“Val come heree.” Shawn whined.

He looks so cute, dressed in blue jeans which is new and kinda hot and white shirt that says HEAVEN, well heaven indeed he looks like an angel.

Shawn smiles as he sees Valerie making her way to him. He is about to get off the railing to get Valerie but she stopped him by placing her hands on his thighs.

“Lovee, you look so fucking cute. I can’t even.” Valerie rub his thighs softly as he pulls Valerie closer he gave her this lovesick smile that is only reserved for Val and only for Val.

He gives Valerie an eskimo kiss before he softly kisses her lips.

“Val, lets go mum and dad are already in the car.” Vernon knocked the door, ruining the moment she thinking of and soon two little kids came inside her room and began attacking her with hugs and kisses.

“Valaliii!” baby Milo shouted. Kids are great, they don’t know anything except be happy. They haven’t felt the cruel side if the world. Valerie wished she never grew up.

“Let’s go babes, nana and papa’s waiting for us at the car.” Jess said taking Laslo and Milo’s hands.

Valerie placed the box full of Shawn’s shirt and his gifts to her beside her bed.

Meanwhile, Brian saw Valerie message to Shawn backstage. The guys are rehearsing Señorita, how ironic.

Brian walked to the arena and sat on one of the amplifier.

In the middle of the break, Brian though it will be the good time to speak to Shawn.

“Shawn c’mere!” Brian shouted even though Shawn is like 3 feet away from him.

Shawn rolled his eyes at him then sipped his water.

“So you and Val broke up?” Brian ask straight forward. Brian is like a Prose he does things straight forward.

“Huh? When” Shawn wondered, he knew Val texted him but he don’t know what’s the content of the text

“Dude you asshole! She broke up with you through text.”

“It’s okay, she will come back to me eventually.” Brian rolled his eyes at him, he never knew Shawn could say something like that.

“You’re fucked dude.” Brian just walked out, he cannot deal with Shawn right now.

The Valentin’s have separate private jets for themselves. As you know Vernon has 2 kids plus his wife, they have their own jets so is Viviane and her family and Valerie’s parents. Of course Valerie has one too, but she doesn’t want to be alone. 5 hours in a jet without talking to someone, she usually talks to Shawn in this case but she guess that will never happen again.

“Bye mommy, bye daddy have a safe flight I love you.” Val waved at her parents and blew a kiss.

Her plane is the last one to take off resulting that she will be the last one to arrive at Los Angels later.

Valerie locked herself in a small room on her jet, she just cried and sleep the whole 5 hour flight.

Eh not really she woke up after a 3 hour sleep and she got nothing else to do so she took some pictures of the clouds and herself, Shawn always says that he is lucky to have her as his girlfriend, he also said that he likes her big plump lips and her cute button nose— just like how he describes it. She also read some books.

By the time the jet will be landing, Valerie fixed her outfit and put on a eye cream hoping that her puffy eyes will magically disappear and put on a concealer under her huge ass dark eyes, that what you get when you break you with boyfriend for 3 years kids.

She is wearing a Alexander Wang crop tee, and Adidas Original sweatpants a pair of worn off white Saint Laurent sneakers and an Off-White handle bag paired (also with an Off-White luggage, packed with all of her things but she doesn’t have this luggage right now)

This particular week is so hard for Valerie, maybe the fact that Shawn and his girlfriend and are in the same city.

Or maybe there’s a chance that they will bump into each other.

Or that she will break down if she see them.

Her family are probably in their way to their houses. And now she’s alone.

The good thing about having a known parents are you have security around you when you are in a crowded place.

The kind flight attendants waved her goodbye as she step down to her jet, she can finally receive messages from her family.

From: Mama 💕

Hey sunflower, Anwar said he’s gonna pick you up at the airport today. We are already at the house, next to the Hadid’s. I love youuu 💞

Valerie smiled at the sweet text she got from her Mom. She waited at the baggage carousel in the VIP section, she immediately sees her Off-White bag.

She’s in LA, it finally hit her. Paparazzi will flash their big cameras at her, some throwing rude questions, some may shove their cameras at her. Fear spread all over her body by the thought of it.

“Yowww, my favorite Latina is heree. BabyVal I miss youu.” Anwar Hadid, 20 years old. Valerie is still older but Anwar likes to act older, but he still thinks like a kid.

“I’M NOT LATINA!! I’M ITALIANA! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT!” Every time— literally every time they see each other Anwar always calls her Latina.

To clear something Valerie’s doesn’t have beef with Latina’s, she is just mad about Anwar miss understanding her ethnicity, they’ve know each other since they were kids and yet Anwar still doesn’t know her ethnicity.

“Eyyy doesn’t be mad at me baby, I’m sorry okay.” Anwar laughed lightly. He always like to tease Valerie because they’re close- almost the same age.

They call each other baby girl, baby boy, babe and baby. Their parents though that they will be in a relationship when they turn older. It is normal for them to call each other like this. Shawn doesn’t see this bad too, I mean he calls her fans honey and other cute stuff.

Valerie hugged Anwar so hard that Anwar moan on how tight Val hug is.

“I’m sorry I just need a hug so badly.” Valerie mumbled on Anwar’s chest, still not letting go. Valerie is around 5’6 and Anwar 6’1.

Anwar basically grew up with Val, so he is very close to him. When the news blew up about their relationship, Anwar was furious. He met Shawn a few times and for Anwar he seems the perfect match for Valerie.

“You’re okay Val right?” Anwar brushed Valerie’s hair that was on her face when she let go of him.

Valerie’s eyes is already glistening with tears. Anwar though that Valerie is pretty, Shawn is stupid to let her go.

“Shall we go baby, I got some news for you at the car. Now let’s brush those tears away, he doesn’t deserve to be cried on.” Anwar held Valerie’s cheeks as he brush her tears away around her eyes. He helped her carry her suitcase and she carried her bag.

Valerie latched herself on Anwar’s arm as they went outside and Val was right, Val wore a Marc Jacob bucket hat hoping that it will at-least cover up some flash form their cameras.

Paparazzi throwing questions about her relationship.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SHAWN AND CAMILA!?” they look good together.

“HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT!?” terrible.

“ARE YOU STILL TOGETHER!?” I don’t even know.

“WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT THEIR NEW SONG, IT’S A HIT!?” good for them then.

“IS ANWAR YOU NEW BOYFRIEND!?” fuck off asshole.

Sometimes Valerie wanted to speak up when they throw questions at her but she stops herself before she say something stupid.

Speaking while angry is a big NO for her.

At last they safety got to their ride, her Jeep Wrangler. Some Shawn’s fans say that there are goals because they have the same car.

“Wait isn’t this my car?” Val looked at Anwar at the back who was putting her luggage at the back.

“Yep, I stole it.” Anwar said and shuts her back part of her car before Val can even say a thing.

“Jeez, please be careful of my Jeep.” She whispered and rolled her eyes at Anwar.

Anwar and Valerie are finally on the road but still paparazzi are still following them.

Big Sean’s iconic song I don’t fuck with you is playing in the background .

You little stupid ass bitch, I ain't fuckin' with you

You little, you little dumb ass bitch, I ain't fuckin' with you

I got a million trillion things I'd rather fuckin' do

Than to be fuckin' with you, little stupid ass

I don't give a fuck, I don't give a fuck

I don't, I don't, I don't give a fuck

Bitch, I don't give a fuck about you

Or anything that you do

Don't give a fuck about you, or anything that you do

“I like this song. So what’s the tea?” Valerie starts.

Anwar eyes widen, this isn’t usually Valerie’s types of songs.

“I’m dating Dua Lipa.”

“REALLY!?”

The Valentin’s siblings are in downtown LA.

Viviane and Vernon cleared the schedule so that they can spend time with their baby sister.

And they managed to get Valerie out of her room.

To be honest Valerie doesn’t want to leave their house just because she is afraid that she will see them.

It is quite hot in LA recently so the sibling just went casual.

Valerie wore a white and red crop top with a black short and a sneakers along with a pair of bag.

Viviane just wore mom jeans a black crop top and boots along with a pair of bag and a bucket hat.

Vernon just wore a white shirt and joggers with sneakers and a pair of glasses.

The siblings are quite fashionable aren’t they? When they were walking down the street people can help staring at them, whether its Vernon soft visual or the two exotic beauties beside her.

Valerie stands along the crowd with her brother and sister beside her. She saw Shawn and Camilla, they look so happy. She thought.

“What’s happening? “ Vernon ask, Viviane gave him a dirty look.

“It’s Shawn and Camilla, they look so happy!” some girl said without looking at him.

Valerie is quiet, she doesn’t know what to do. She wants to be happy but she can’t.

I wish that- NO VALERIE. Her mind speaks.

“Yeah they do look so happy. I wish we were like that when we we’re together.”Valerie whispered and the girl in-front of her apparently heard her.

“Dream on sis have you se-“ the girl stopped taking pictures of them and turned around.

“Oh my gosh you’re V-valerie, The Valerie Valentin, I’m so s-sorry I didn’t mean to-.” The girl stuttered but Valerie cut her off.

“No it’s fine, they do look perfect.” Valerie walked out. Vernon and Viviane saw the flush of hurt in their baby sister’s eyes.

And Vernon being the man in the family stepped in. “Thanks for that sis.” He rolled his eyes and walked out to find Valerie.

“Sorry for that hun Vernon is a little over protective on Val.” Viviane softly smiled and followed her two sibling.

At Twitter that same day:

SHAWNNN💞 @iloveshwanm • 7m

oh my god guysss! i saw valerie right now, like right now she is with her sibling and let me tell yall they are greek gods and goddesses!!! valerie sister looks like a modell! her brother looks likes my future husband!!! too bad he’s a little bit moody. but its okay he still looks good 👌🏻

i want to update before i’ll study, my exam is in few days

enjoy reading 💕

taglist:

@alinashawn

@feliciaceciliamariajacobsson

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #angst #shawn mendes imagine #valerie #fluff

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failes-xtra-bits · 4 years

Text

Review: Prince's Gambit Ch 1

Prince’s Gambit

Review Chapter 1:

So we start off this book with our characters riding towards Chastillon. What I really like about the beginning is that we see Damen becoming more friendly with the other men.

“It’s hunting country,’ said Orlant, mistaking the nature of his gaze. "Dare you to make a run for it.”

This piece of dialogue is half joking, half wary (if that makes any sense) which I absolutely love and sets the foundations for the trust the builds as we go through the book.

After a while Damen is summoned by Paschal, the physician:

It was fine. His back had healed enough that new scars had replaced new wounds. Damen craned for a glimpse but, not being an owl, saw almost nothing. He stopped before he got a crick in his neck.

The physician rummaged in the satchel and produced one of his endless ointments.

‘A massage?’

‘These are healing salves. It should be done every night. It will help the scarring to fade a little, in time.’

That was really too much. ‘It’s cosmetic?’

The physician said, ‘I was told you would be difficult. Very well. The better it heals, the less your back will trouble you with stiffness, both now and later in life, so that you will be better able to swing a sword around, killing a great many people. I was told you would be responsive to that argument.’

‘The Prince,’ said Damen. But of course. All this tender care of his back, like soothing with a kiss the reddened cheek you have slapped.

I always found this exchange interesting (side note I found the owl thing kinda amusing.) The question “is it cosmetic” hearkens back to what we know about Akielon culture and how while male nudity is not reviled using cosmetics on the male body is. Damen’s reluctance is not just him being rebellious but is coloured by this cultural view and his reluctance is only assuaged by the physician propounding its practical value.

Further the last bit is also very interesting, it serves to remind the reader of all the brutalities Laurent has inflicted upon Damen, but also symbolises the beginning of Laurent trying to remedy all of it.

As they talk we find out that Paschal served the king and tended to the fallen at Marlas.

“If you served the King,’ said Damen, ‘how is it you now find yourself in the Prince’s household, and not his uncle’s?’

‘Men find themselves in the places they put themselves,’ Paschal said, closing his satchel with a snap.”

This exchange is interesting because it really hones in the idea that there are people who serve Laurent out of sheer loyalty. Up until this point the reader is positioned to hate Laurent, so it's a surprise to see that there a people willing to be on his side. Slowly our hatred for him is unraveling.

After this Damen goes to the courtyard and meets Jord who tells him to go to the armoury. Once there we meet Aimeric (who was briefly introduced at the end of Captive Prince) who was getting his ass beat. When Damen enters he tells the three men to stop.

“It wasn’t Damen’s size that stopped them. It wasn’t the sword he held casually in his hand. If these men really wanted to make a fight out of it, there were enough swords, flingable armour pieces, and teetering shelves to turn this into something long and ludicrous. It was only when the leader of the men saw Damen’s gold collar that he shoved out an arm, holding the others back.

And Damen understood, in that moment, exactly how things were going to be on this campaign: the Regent’s men in ascendancy. Aimeric and the Prince’s men were targets because they had no one to complain to except Govart, who would slap them back down. Govart, the Regent’s favourite thug, brought here to keep the Prince’s men in “and the Prince’s men were targets because they had no one to complain to except Govart, who would slap them back down. Govart, the Regent’s favourite thug, brought here to keep the Prince’s men in check. But Damen was different. Damen was untouchable, because Damen had a direct line of reportage to the Prince.”

I always think it must be weird for Damen (a prince, future king, war hero, etc) to see that his power doesn’t come from he himself this time but rather because of Laurent. I don’t really have much commentary on this other than it must feel weird for him.

Anyway the men leave, Damen and Aimeric talk to each other for the first time. We learn that Aimeric is young, 19. Once again we are presented with notion of loyalty.

“Aimeric didn’t budge. ‘You couldn’t take a flogging like a man. You opened your mouth and squealed to the Regent. You laid hands on him. You spat on his reputation. Then you tried to escape, and he still intervened for you, because he’d never abandon a member of his household to the Regency. Not even someone like you.’

Damen had gone very still. He looked at the boy’s young, bloody face, and reminded himself that Aimeric had been willing to take a beating from three men in defence of his Prince’s honour. He’d call it misguided puppy love, except that he’d seen the glint of something similar in Jord, in Orlant, and even, in his own quiet way, in Paschal/ him.

“Damen thought of the ivory and gold casing that held a creature duplicitous, self-serving and untrustworthy.

‘You’re so loyal to him. Why is that?’

‘I’m not a turncoat Akielon dog,’ said Aimeric.

It’s kinda of interesting in hindsight now that we know Aimeric is on the regents side. I’m not going to comment on this bc idk what I can say.

Anyway after this Damen delivers the inventory to Rochert as promised. It’s mentioned that the preparations should have happened a lot earlier and out of the 150 men the regent sent only less than two dozen are actually helping.

Jord then approached Damen and says that Aimeric won’t foment any more tension which Damen knows is a lie. Damen asks where the Captain is and we find out that:

“The Captain is in one of the horse stalls, up to his waist in the stableboy,”

And that Damen is going to be the one to fetch him. When Damen finally arrives at the stables we see Govart fucking the stable boy. When told that he his to see the Prince, Govart is adamant in wanting to finish his business and says Laurent is just

“ really just a tease who wants cock”

This provokes an interesting reaction in Damen

“Damen felt anger settle inside him, a tangible weight. He recognised an echo of the impotence Aimeric must have experienced in the armoury, except that he was not a green nineteen year old who had never seen a fight. His eyes passed impassively over the half-unclothed body of the stableboy. He realised that in a moment he was going to return to Govart in this small, dusty stall all that was owed for the rape of Erasmus.”

While we know that Damen and Govart have some history but its interesting that this reaction is provoked when Govart insults the Prince. Does it imply that Damen feels a weird sense of loyalty? Perhaps. Or perhaps he just really hates Govart.

Eventually Govart gives in to the Prince’s orders.

Finally it is time for Damen to report to the castellan and he is led to to the bedchamber. Here we get another crumb about the regent and Laurent’s relationship.

“The Prince stays here often?’

The castellan mistook him to mean the keep, not the rooms. ‘Not often. He and his uncle came here a great deal together, in the year or two after Marlas. As he grew older, the Prince lost his taste for the runs here. He now comes only rarely to Chastillon.”

While most of us picked up on their relationship, its a surprise Damen does not. Once again this serves to reveal Damen’s naivety which stems from his trusting nature and the straightforwardness of his culture.

Food is brought and Damen waits for Laurent while pondering on the political situation the regent has created for Laurent. He intends to tear the group apart.

Laurent finally arrives:

“'I have saved you till last'….Laurent calmly helped himself to goblet and pitcher, pouring himself a drink. Damen couldn’t help glancing at the goblet, remembering the last time they had been alone together in Laurent’s rooms.

Pale brows arched a fraction. ‘Your virtue’s safe. It’s just water. Probably.’ Laurent took a sip, then lowered the goblet, holding it in refined fingers. He glanced at the chair, as a host might offering a seat, and said, as though the words amused him, ‘Make yourself comfortable. You are going to stay the night.’

‘No restraints?’ said Damen. ‘You don’t think I’ll try to leave, pausing only to kill you on the way out?’

‘Not until we get closer to the border,’ said Laurent.

He returned Damen’s gaze evenly. There was no sound but the crack and pop of the banked fire.

‘You really do have ice in your veins, don’t you,’ said Damen.”

“Laurent placed the goblet carefully back on the table, and picked up the knife.

It was a sharp knife, made for cutting meat. Damen felt his pulse quicken as Laurent came forward. Only a handful of nights ago, he had watched Laurent slit a man’s throat, spilling blood as red as the silk that covered this room’s bed. He felt shock as Laurent’s fingers touched his, pressing the hilt of the knife into his hand. Laurent took hold of Damen’s wrist below the gold cuff, firmed his grip, and drew the knife forward so that it was angled towards his own stomach. The tip of the blade pressed slightly into the dark blue of his prince’s garment.

‘You heard me tell Orlant to leave,’ said Laurent.

Damen felt Laurent’s grip slide down his wrist to his fingers, and tighten.

“Laurent said, ‘I am not going to waste time on posturing and threats. Why don’t we clear up any uncertainty about your intentions?’

It was well placed, just below the rib cage. All you would have to do was push in, then angle up.

He was so infuriatingly sure of himself, proving a point. Damen felt desire come hard upon him: not wholly a desire for violence, but a desire to drive the knife into Laurent’s composure, to force him to show something other than cool indifference.

He said: ‘I’m sure there are house servants still awake. How do I know you won’t scream?’

‘Do I seem like the type to scream?’

‘I’m not going to use the knife,’ said Damen, ‘but if you’re willing to put it in my hand, you underestimate how much I want to.’

‘No,’ said Laurent. ‘I know exactly what it is to want to kill a man, and to wait.”

This scene here is interesting. We are once again reminded of the assassination attempt and Laurent and Damen's tenuous relationship. They are clearly not friends, there is still hate between them yet a weird sort of trust is forming. Further last bit hints at what we know in hindsight is Laurent’s almost life long obsession with wanting to kill Damen in retribution for Auguste’s death.

“Laurent said, ‘When this campaign is over, I think—if you are a man and not a worm—you will attempt to gain retribution for what has happened to you. I expect it. On that day, we roll the dice and see how they fall. Until then, you serve me. Let me therefore make one thing above all clear to you: I expect your obedience. You are under my command. If you object to what you are told to do I will hear reasoned arguments in private, but if you disobey an order once it is made, I will send you back to the flogging post.”

The terms of their relationship are now set and now Laurent reveals why Damen is here.

“You said you knew the territory,’ ”

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chromemuffin · 7 years

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Captive Prince Liveblogging (Chapters 10 & 11)

aka I wonder how Damen can keep surviving this place and the wtf moments pile up

Chapter 10

I dunno, Damen, sure you survive every time Laurent summons you, but there is always the possibility of crashing and burning and didn’t your back teach you that you have every reason to feel tense heading to see him in the middle of the night.

Though, Damen does have battle experience, maybe his unease really does mean something significant.

ALRIGHT. So something is up. YUP. Wow. Two assassination-esque attacks in one book. Jackpot.

The man was wearing livery and not armour, a blunder.

Ah, yes, because only armor can stop Damen, even if the guy was armed with a sword it would be a-ok.

Damen. Damen. Most people would assume having a sword against an unarmed man would be enough. That’s not unreasonable. You’re the unreasonable one.

The fight scene was nicely done, and the tension between the two in the aftermath. And Damen, still sticking to his honor even though he could have taken the chance to watch Laurent die or attack him.

“In my part of the fight, the men were not helpfully killing each other.”

hahaha

Huh. Ok, Laurent is telling the truth that Damen didn’t do it, which I can understand. He probably doesn’t hate Damen quite as much as Damen assumes, but why did he say the men were trying to kill Damen? Sounds kinda odd.

Oh man, those soldiers did not stand a chance against Laurent’s silver tongue.

Damen had never before seen half a dozen soldiers reduced to compliant housekeeping by the sheer force of one man’s personal arrogance. It was almost instructive.

Such gold.

Wonderful, poison, too. Probably just something to slow him down to make sure he lost the fight.

Ah, yes, in other places you run people you don’t like through with a sword. Or poison them. Not stab and poison at the same time, now that’s overkill.

AHAHA. it’s an aphrodisiac. like I said in my first post, this novel takes elements I’ve seen dozens of times in fanfic/online fiction and does everything right. though, why give him that drug, specifically. Wouldn’t it be easier to have used a drug found in Vere? They have to have more than one drug that can be used to incapacitate someone. Can understand why the knives, but the drug too?

“It wears off...[A]fter a few hours.”

Damen, I never thought I would enjoy reading from the perspective of an MC like you, but I was wrong.

OH he got to escape! It’s taken a bit, and it’s certainly risky. How the hell are you gonna get out of there unseen. But, it’s happening. And it’s only been 10 chapters.

Chapter 11

Oh? What was Nicaise doing going to see Laurent and why did he chicken out and leave? Even if it was an order, it doesn’t seem like him to really respect that. And it seemed he came there for a purpose.

“...didn’t intend to see Laurent ever again.” HM. WHY DO I DOUBT THAT. *eyes the other two volumes on my desk*

This book’s open sesame = Laurent will be pissed if you don’t do x

But, like, is this actually going to work?? How is this going to work?

Ah. So that was what the aphrodisiac was for.

This whole time I’m just whispering ‘how the heck are you gonna get out of this when you get caught’. Like, there is no way you can talk your way out of this now.

HEY, IT’S YOU AGAIN. the asshole. Govart. What a coincidence.

Ok, but that they found him was inevitable.

so....how...do you live to the see the next two volumes i have here...

‘bitch’s pups’ HAHa oh jeez that’s a new one

Guys...you could have taken the medallion out first instead of drawing your swords...

“You must be the fuck of a lifetime.”

lol I’d wonder that, too, if I were Orlant.

Ok, but more important than whether Laurent and Damen are sleeping together, or if Damen really did defend Laurent (or was the target of that assassination, whichever story they’re going with), is the fact that he ran in the aftermath.

And why is Laurent hiding the fact that the attack was meant for him?

“...having taken advantage of your innocence.”

Everyone and their mother can probably call bullshit on this one.

I love Laurent if only for his sheer ability to snark when so much is at stake.

Finally, we get to the running away bit. And, he’s difficult and rebellious, that’s his reason.

Alright, so why doesn’t he want border duty? They’re not even at war at the moment.

UM. Those words were ominous...lovely boy while petting his head like wtf

Wait. Ah. So that’s (at least part of) why the Regent is such a hated awful guy in the fandom. The foreshadowing was quite heavy with this one. Even I managed to pick up on it.

And thats the end of the chapter. I was going to say ‘lovely’ sarcastically except I can no longer use that because, yeah.

#captive prince #cp liveblogging

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mercurialsmile · 7 years

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Lanx Reviews: Captive Prince

I’m late to the party, but I always am.

I haven’t really ever blogged about a book or anything before, so this is new and will be rambly and I am not that sorry for that at all.

Anyways! This review will be broken up into sections. I’ll try to leave spoilers out as best I can, but there may be minor ones. Hooray for organization!

Some personal notes:

I learned about this book through tumblr, of course. I believe I saw fanart on my dash and figured it was a book series pretty fast, though at the time I had no interest in it at all. Then, when searching for books I wanted to read, I randomly remembered it. My good friend and dear Angel recommended it to me so I bought only the first book, just in case I didn’t like it.

I want to note here that my relationship with fantasy is... complicated. It’s one of my favorite genres, yet I have a HUGE hatred for the way fantasy books are often presented. Some of the top books I hate and couldn’t get through to save my life are fantasy. The fact that I was able to actually get through this book is impressive enough on its own considering how leery I am towards a lot of fantasy books. This is a good thing!

I do wanna note I read books one of two ways usually; I read the entire thing in one sitting or I put the book down and never pick it back up again. Captive Prince is a rare anomaly in which I put it down and actually did pick it back up. And by “put it down” concerning CP, I mean literally put it down. Like I had to go do chores and afterward didn’t feel like reading and just kinda forgot I was reading it. That being said, I did remember what happened in the book and it was memorable for me which is a good thing. A huge thing of mine is the fact that I have a strong belief that truly good books should leave an impact and be memorable. This isn’t always true, but I personally find it to be an important facet on what makes a book “good.”

So, was it good in my opinion?

Plot:

The plot is actually decently simple and straightforward, something I automatically took a liking too. So many fantasy books try and go for long, entwined, complicated plots, which can end up getting tiring and make the book a bore to read. To little happening in too much time with a sense that you’re going nowhere. Captive Prince does well as it sticks to its pretty straightforward plot but does it tactfully and lets the nature of politics make things seem and feel more complicated than they really are when you take a step back.

Basically, the prince of the kingdom Akielos (Damen) is shipped off as a slave as part of a peace treaty and a gift to the prince of Vere (Laurent) by his own bastard brother who wants the crown. He is believed to be dead. He wants to get back home to fix his kingdom.

That’s basically what’s on the back of the book. It quickly gets more complicated than that, but pretty much everything plot-related in this book is related to that. There is very little in the way of unconnected subplots that aren’t related to character relationships and arcs. As such, it makes following Captive Prince easy and makes it a pretty easy read (Note: It’s still an adult/mature book). This is refreshing to me. Plus, I really haven’t read too much of this trope, if at all, so that just sweetens it for me further.

The only thing I can say kinda ill about it is that on the back of the book, it mentions Damen and Laurent having to work together. This... doesn’t really happen. They start working together at like... the last couple pages of the book. I felt the back of the book exaggerated how “well” Damen and Laurent “work together” and didn’t appreciate that.

Overall, though, I found the plot enjoyable, easy to read and comprehend for the most part, and interesting.

Characters: I’m going to focus on the main characters here.

Damen is the view you as the reader read from. He is wonderful. I really adored Damen a lot. He was relatable in a number of ways at least to me (Not too good at politics, not the smartest person in the book) and you really do feel for him. He is quite the honorable man and, at least in my opinion, has a lot of inner charm. He is mostly a fighter and I also enjoyed how humble he was overall without letting himself being completely walked all over.

Laurent, on the other hand, is harder for me to place. I hated him throughout the middle of the book. Cold, cruel, a complete and utter spoiled brat, and infuriating at times as it felt like he always escaped karma. Every time I thought I was warming up to him, he did/said something that just made me go right back to hating him. As of the end of CP, I can honestly say I do not want these two characters to end up together. However, the very last pages of CP did give me some hope to like his character in the second book, so I am willing to give him more chances. My main issues with his character is that he’s a spoiled brat and thinks he’s better than everyone. I generally hate people who are like this due to my own life experiences so Laurent hit a nerve and left a bad taste in my mouth. Still, I do hope I will like him in the future.

Regarding the main characters, I did feel they were complicated and they were both interesting to read. Besides during the middle of the book, I enjoyed how they played off one another.

As for the side characters... I also liked them. Or at least, some of them. Besides Damen, it’s very hard to like certain characters of this book due to spoiler reasons I can’t get into. Though I felt the side characters fit in well, were needed, and I did like a couple of them, I can honestly say Damen is my favorite character. WHICH is a good thing! It seems like every book series I read nowadays has me liking the side characters more than the main character. Actually having the main character be my favorite character is so welcoming to me.

Setting: The setting matched the tone of the book perfectly. The setting wasn’t overly described as it is in many other fantasy books to the point where the story lags, but there is enough description to get the point across. In a couple of places, it was kinda hard for me to envision what was going on, but overall it wasn’t too distracting. I adored the way Vere was described in many ways.

The setting itself was pretty interesting I would say. A little standard for a fantasy setting, but it works perfectly with the story and characters. What really made Vere stand out to me was, of course, how free sexuality and sex was in general. I don’t wanna give too much away here, but overall I thought the setting was good. I also like how though the majority of the story stayed within one location, there was plenty of other things going on that the setting did not become boring at all.

Writing: The writing was quite exceptional. It was quite beautiful and poetic in some places. The style fit the mood and feel of the book very well. A few times I did find myself having to go back and reread parts, however, due to some awkward wording. Also. “Limpid blue eyes” (or something of this sort) reminded me of My Immortal and I had to put the book down to laugh for a good five minutes. But I think that’s just me being stupid then anything actually wrong.

Another small issue I had is that in a couple of places, certain things were worded to make a situation vague just so it can be revealed in like. The next chapter. I found this to be kinda weird and when this happened, the writing felt a little forced and awkward. However, everything else makes up for these couple of flubs.

Another thing I enjoyed is that nothing was over-described. The descriptions were just enough to paint a pretty picture, but left your imagination do most the word, which I appreciated a lot. A lot of books nowadays like to spend paragraphs just describing characters, including every muscle they have, their jaw shape, their nose shape, and all this other silly stuff. CP never did that, and it was refreshing.

Sex scenes:

I thought this deserved its own little section. There really aren’t too many, and none of them are detailed like you’ll find in your every day fanfiction if that’s what you’re gonna go off, but this book is drenched in sex. Despite that, it’s not nearly as vulgar as one would think and is done tactfully. Nothing is shown that isn’t important. Details are scant for the most part besides a couple here and there; just what’s important. Topics such as noncon/rape, pedophilia, and other power imbalances are treated as they should be. Not romanticized and not “prettied up” by the writing to make it any less than what is should be.

World building: One of the things I hate the most is info dumping world building. So many books do it and it’s so frustrating. Captive Prince doesn’t do that. Everything is slowly spoon-fed to you throughout the book when its important. CP is third person limited so you mainly just see what Damen sees, which is smart. Damen doesn’t know much about Vere either, so him questioning things, him asking questions, makes sense in the situation. The exposition is integrated very well.

The world itself is interesting. It’s pretty standard fantasy flair, but its done well. It’s not overwhelming like a lot of other fantasy books are. You know as much as you need to.

Also, the integration of why same-sex couples are popular in Vere is done amazingly well and makes sense. A lot of people on tumblr that I’ve seen, or just other people in general, like to stuff LGBT+ characters into their fantasy stories for diversity points, but don’t take a second to stop and think how same-sex couples being accepted/rejected would play into their world building or tie it in a way that makes sense. CP doesn’t have this issue and I especially enjoyed that aspect of the world.

Some final thoughts: One thing this book made me feel was angry. Mainly for how Damen was treated. He was beaten down a lot and at points I had to put it down, take a deep breath, before picking it back up. This is both a good and bad thing, though for me mostly bad because I dislike feeling frustrated by what I was reading to the point where I almost have to put the book down. I feel if CP had a couple more comical scenes put around, it would’ve helped in the middle. The author did eventually insert some comedy in the latter portions of the book to help balance out the treatment Damen faced, and that really did help, but I wish the same was done towards the middle of the book.

If you can’t stand main characters being beaten down a lot because you have a lot of empathy like me, you might not like or be able to finish this book. In that sense, I also found the book a little unbalanced due to that middle part.

Final Rating: 7/10, rounded up from 6.5/10

#lanx reviews captive prince #my reviews #long post #i finally got this done can you believe #this took longer than i would've liked tbh #ALSO when i say comedy i mean in the more dry and cynical sense #not like #fart jokes or stupid and silly shit like that

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