sunsetsandvodkas

[sunsetsandvodkas]

I am a mistake, not only for my mum and dad

[sunsetsandvodkas]

My mum once said that every single person beside me will leave and I would end up alone. But what my mum failed to convey or warn is how I cut people, too deep to heal without scars, with my double edged words

[sunsetsandvodkas]

"I miss you," will be an understatement. I am NOT missing you. I am longing for you. To touch you. Not in a passionate romantic way but to feel you, to reassure myself, that you're there, beside me, together with me, and we are not lost in time.

#free verse #short prose

[sunsetsandvodkas]

I would've accepted that it's not love if it didn't kill me to see you go or if I didn't and don't dream of you every single night or if you are not my "default" password or if I am not clinging to that image of our imaginative future.

- Vodka

#writeblr #free verse #love quote #first love #writers and poets #writing #short prose #dead poets society #quotes #quotes and sayings

[sunsetsandvodkas]

Is it dark there, mother?

Darker than my mind?

Is it cold there, mother?

Colder than my thoughts?

Were you cared for, mother?

Were you respected, mother?

Were you understood, mother?

Were you depressed, mother?

Did your friends ask if you're okay

Or did they laugh and call them "happy tears?"

Did they mask all your insecurities

Or make fun of them and call it their "right? "

Did your partner love you, mother?

Or did you just call you "lover?"

Did he say sorry often, when he hurt you

Or did he just "think" it's okay if you smile the next day?

//I hope you didn't live a life like mine, mother.//

- Vodka

#writeblr #free verse #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #dead poets society #writersofinstagram #poem #poetry #my poem #original poetry

[sunsetsandvodkas]

It's funny how I cannot recall the dream I dreamt just 4 hours before but never forget the last night's pain after I wake up.

-vodka

[sunsetsandvodkas]

People go on and on about how memories can be painful. But one cannot imagine how haunting this blank canvas of mine is.

//What made me cry? What made me smile? What made me laugh louder without inhibition? How did love make me feel? Was I even alive?//

- vodka

#writeblr #free verse #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #short prose #writersofinstagram #dead poets society

[sunsetsandvodkas]

The fact that you are in pain doesn't automatically give you permission to hurt me.

#writeblr #free verse #writers on tumblr #writing #writersofinstagram

[sunsetsandvodkas]

What does it tell about you, the way you are questioning your choices, your thoughts, your emotions? Questioning if you are delusional or it's really what you feel. Questioning every word you have ever said and every confession you ever made.

It is scary, how vile the human heart is.

#writeblr #dark academia #free verse #writers on tumblr #writers and poets #short prose #writing #writersofinstagram #the walking dead #human emotions #heart been broke so many times

[sunsetsandvodkas]

It's my mistake, to see things from the other side of the paper, the other side of the world.

[sunsetsandvodkas]

It's crazy how trauma makes you push people away when all you want is love.

[sunsetsandvodkas]

This park doesn't feel the same now. The same park, same swing, same me, same her

But the 5 year gap was sitting between us like a ghost.

"What is your favourite memory of us, Matt?" She asked looking at her feet that are quite not reaching the ground.

"There are a lot of them. I will tell you one of them. The night we sang for each other. Where you said you loved me from the start and I sang that I would be mad if I didn't fall for you." I smirked and added, "all true words, Jenny."

With a small smile on her face she asked, "do you regret it, Matt? Any of it? "

"Do you?" I don't want to answer that. She should know. There is no way she doesn't know that I would still choose her if I could.

-Vodka

[sunsetsandvodkas]

"Seeking familiarity is dangerous, Matt, " he said, holding my mobile in his left hand and my right shoulder in the other.

I am just looking at the invisible black mark on my white wall. I know what he is talking about but I am choosing to pretend I don't. "Idk what you are talking about, Seb. "

"Seriously? You are going to take that immature road? " he said like I disappointed him. Maybe I did. No, not maybe. I did.

"What do you want, Seb? "

"You know exactly what I want, Matt. I want you to be happy. I want you to not take circles just because you are afraid to take a new linear road. You think that known hurt is better than facing the fear of new beginning. "

"It is not that, Seb. You know that. I can't live in anxiety, waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it is not as easy as I thought to move on. " I am walking away from him to tell him that this topic is over. He tried to follow me but thought better I guess.

He knows though. He knows it is always her. Always will be. He just doesn't want it to be her. Her to be it

-vodka

#poetic prose #short prose #prose poetry #prose #prose poem #dark academia #free verse #lovestruck #love story #heart break #move on

[sunsetsandvodkas]

It is funny how I hate to talk about feelings with people yet I write them for the world to read.

#writeblr #free verse #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #dead poets society #writing #writersofinstagram #dark academia #love quotes #short prose #quotes and sayings #quotation #feelings

[sunsetsandvodkas]

What hurts more than "what we could have been? "

"what we were. "

-Vodka

#dark prose #sad qutoes #sad prose #dark academia #free verse #writeblr #writing #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #short prose #heart break #breakupquotes #breakup #books #depressing quotes #heartbreak quotes #deep thoughts

[sunsetsandvodkas]

I actually suffer from amnesia. Like, I read something now, and forget it in just 20 minutes. But it doesn't work for these memories. Like, seriously, wtf brain, why the discrimination? Why?!!!

#dark academia #writeblr #dark humor #meme humor #not funny #funny not funny #what the fuck #free verse #writers and poets #writing #writers on tumblr #writersofinstagram

[sunsetsandvodkas]

I cannot think of times I swallowed my hurt to tell you I am okay.

#brokenquotes #heart been broke so many times #you broke my heart #heart break #writeblr