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shoutatthe-devil · 2 years

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Not Your Broad | B.B.

Trigger warning for transphobia.

Masterlist | AO3

Joining the Avengers had been a scary experience for you, but not because of all of the danger. No, that you had been fine with – your mum and dad had both been agents for Australia’s division of HYDRA, and in a rebellious phase which had turned out not to be a phase at all, you had become a spy for SHIELD. When your position was compromised, SHIELD had taken down your base and brought you with them to New York. Once they realised exactly what you were capable of, Fury had fought tooth and nail for you to join the Avengers and after a few missions, you had become one officially.

No, the scary part wasn’t the danger. It was the position you would have to take as the first openly transgender Avenger.

You were genderfluid, mostly using they/them pronouns, but alternating every once in a while with he/him and the occasional neopronoun. You had one rule, though: no one was to refer to you as female, or with she/her pronouns. You were fine with showing your femininity, loving to play with dresses and make up, but the language surrounding it reminded you of your time pretending and brought you major dysphoria.

Everything had turned out mostly fine, but with the occasional slur thrown at you by the media. People who refused your service ended up regretting it almost immediately with Bucky standing right behind you. For the most part, you could hold your own. But there was one thing that never failed to make your day worse: interacting with Steve Rogers.

Most of the Avengers had turned out to be lovely about it. Clint and Natasha had taken you in like a child. They had been the ones to take you to your first pride parade, ending with them holding you close as you cried tears of relief that you would be okay; people like you weren’t wrong, or dirty. Bruce was quieter with his support, offering shyly over dinner to perform your top surgery, which you had instantly (and gratefully) taken him up on. Tony fucked up your pronouns occasionally but apologised quickly and moved on without a fuss. You knew that came from a place of ineptitude rather than malice, though, as he had added a small genderfluid pride flag to your suit just over your heart, built a binder into it until Bruce had done the surgery and added a rainbow flag to the Iron Man suit. Despite being queer himself, he had never bothered to do this before but once seeing the backlash to an openly transgender Avenger, he had decided to be more open with his own identity. You and Peter obviously got on like a house on fire with him being transmasc himself, and while you had never spoken directly to Sam about it, every so often you would see a proud look on his face as he watched you.

The most surprising reaction came from Bucky. For your first few weeks in the compound, he had seemed uncomfortable with you, and you assumed he had some… more historical ideas from growing up in the forties. One day in training, though, he had abruptly asked a question. This became a more frequent occurrence until they had finally opened up to you and said he thought they might be nonbinary; at the moment, he/they pronouns seemed to fit him best. The two of you had bonded quickly, much to the annoyance of Bucky’s star-spangled best friend.

Steve was… less accepting about the whole thing. He had never outrightly said that he didn’t like it, but he was constantly misgendering you and rolled his eyes whenever you corrected him. He tensed up whenever you entered a room and scoffed whenever FRIDAY informed the group that you would be attending some form of pride event or interview. It brought you down considerably, but you had never brought it up for fear of upsetting the team by calling out their leader.

Bucky was sitting with you, talking about their latest discovery from the modern world. He had started watching Doctor Who and had become particularly enamoured with one Bill Potts. You didn’t have the heart to tell them about her less-than-happy ending.

“Buck!” you heard Mr. Stars and Stripes call. You tensed at the sound of his voice, and Bucky looked over at you apologetically.

“Leave the broad alone, I need your help with something.”

Your blood began to boil. It had been over a year of this, and you were getting fucking sick of it.

“Bucky,” you said quietly. “Before I do anything, I need you to confirm for me what broad means.”

Bucky winced. “Woman,” he said softly.

You nodded. Your assumption had been correct; Steve was back on his bullshit. “I just needed to check. Are you comfortable with my saying something?”

“Go for your life.”

You stood up and looked at the blonde man. “I think you’ll find I’m not a broad, Steve.”

Steve scoffed and looked you up and down. “Sure.”

A tiny wire in the back of your mind snapped. “What is your problem with me, huh? What is so hard for you to understand? I’m not a woman. You need to use they/them pronouns referring to me. I thought you were in World War II? This shouldn’t be that hard.”

You saw hostility in Steve’s eyes. It seemed like this had been building up for a while; he was glad to be given the excuse to finally say what he was thinking.

“Oh, for the love of all that is holy,” Steve’s voice started to build. “You can’t possibly still be on about this.”

“What do you mean by this, Steve.” Your eyes narrowed and you could see Bucky sink into the couch behind you.

“I mean that you’re a woman. Look at you. You were born a woman, and you’ll continue to be one. It’s demeaning to try to convince us otherwise.”

“You are filled with such bullshit, Steve!”

“No, look.” His eyes flashed. “I’m sick and tired of having to make you feel comfortable, when it’s clear that what you are, is sick. We shouldn’t all be playing into this delusion you have!”

“Steve, that’s enough.” The last person you would have expected strode into the room. Sam Wilson stood in front of you protectively. “I get what things were like for you growing up, and that it’s a massive culture shock, but things are different now.”

You looked up at the man with shock.

“Oh, you can’t possibly be serious, Wilson,” Steve scoffed. “Look at her!”

“Them,” you heard Bucky say quietly. Steve’s eyes flashed over to them.

“Not you too, Buck,” he gesticulated wildly. “Surely, you’re on my side. You know better.”

“No, I don’t.” You looked at Bucky with a warning. You didn’t want him to say something he might regret, but the determination in their eyes made you understand that this wasn’t just about you; it was about him too.

“Steve, I’m the same as them,” Bucky said. It was strange to see the notorious Winter Soldier trembling, but it was happening in front of you. “Well, not exactly the same. I’m nonbinary. I use he/they pronouns. I’m not a man, Steve."

The blonde started to laugh. “You can’t be serious, Buck.” The hurt that flashed through Bucky’s eyes drew you back towards them, and you wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Sam put a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“Man, you can’t just—”

“And you!” Steve shouted. “Why are you defending them? You’re normal!”

Sam’s eyes flashed with something you hadn’t seen in them before. “Sorry to tell you, Captain, but you’re looking at a trans man.”

Steve went quiet, his eyes wide.

“I was born a girl, Steve,” Sam said very seriously. “I’m just not as brave as them.” He gestured to you. “I don’t really like to talk about it, because of people like you. I already have it hard enough with all the fucking racism about right now.”

Steve was shocked.

“But let’s talk about you, Cap,” Sam continued. “Because let’s face it, you’re the problem here. All the bullshit coming out of your mouth is just hurting the people you supposedly love most. What does that say about you?”

It was a strange sight, Captain America trying to make himself small. Sam put his arm around Bucky and started leading you both out of there.

“Proud of you, Buck,” he said softly. Bucky gave him an uncommon smile.

“Oh!” you called back. “And you can keep your fucking star-spangled American dream and shove it up your—”

Sam pulled you away as the door slammed shut.

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shoutatthe-devil · 2 years

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Dandelions | E.M.

KICKSTART MY HEART PT. 1

Masterlist | AO3

She was the kind of person who you never saw without a book in her hand. Eddie didn’t think he had ever seen her talk to anyone for longer than a gentle hello, but he had seen her hundreds of times sitting at the edges of any room or facility in Hawkins High with her nose buried in some crusty paperback. She was pretty; hair shorter than acceptable, ignoring any bullying she got for almost looking like a boy, light make up except for heavily exaggerated eyeliner with different patterns worked in every day, loose blue jeans covered with embroidery and a series of blouses that looked like those to be seen in the pages of Oscar Wilde or Thomas Hardy.

Eddie had never spoken to her, never even gotten her name, but every major memory he had at Hawkins High had her in the corner of his eye. He had her gentle smile emblazoned in the back of his mind and the feeling of warmth from when he had been sat next to her in a chemistry class one year carefully engraved in his muscle memory.

So no, he’d never spoken to her, but he knew her. She had captured his attention. Unlike everything else in his life, Eddie kept that attention subtle. He had a feeling that she wouldn’t be the kind of girl to appreciate grand gestures and loud proclamations.

“You’re staring at her again,” Mike said through a mouthful of sandwich. “It’s kinda creepy, Eddie.”

Eddie’s eyes snapped over to the younger boy. “Staring at who? I’m not staring.”

“Y/n Y/l/n,” Mike sighed as if the weight of the world was somehow on his shoulders. Little shit. “You’ve been obsessed with her all year.”

“Which one’s she?” Eddie questioned, hope beginning to fill him at the prospect of finally getting to learn your name.

“Seriously?” Lucas joined the conversation. “You’ve been obsessing over her and you don’t even know her name?”

“She’s the one with the dandelions on her jeans,” Mike tag-teamed in with Lucas. “Y’know, a bit weird, always reading.”

“Don’t call her weird,” Lucas snapped at his friend before Eddie got the chance to. “She’s not weird.”

“Objectively, she is,” Mike countered. “I mean, obviously I love her, but she’s always been a bit strange.”

“Like we’re not,” Lucas grumbled.

Eddie’s mind was reeling at the new information. “Wait, you guys know her? How do you guys know her?”

Mike sighed again. “She was always around when we were kids,” he said. “Used to be Dustin’s babysitter. He was super protective of her, so she always got invited to all of our DnD games and stuff. Plus, the parents loved her, so she ended up having dinner whenever the rest of us were around.”

“She plays DnD?” A great smile spread across Eddie’s face at the prospect.

“Oh, absolutely,” Lucas smirked. “Absolutely crushes at it, too. Although, half the time when she played, we wouldn’t even end up battling anything, because she always thought a way around it.”

“Super creative, and always talking her way out of things,” Mike added. “Honestly it got kind of annoying.”

“If you’re going to do anything about your little crush, though, I’ve got to warn you,” Lucas said, “don’t say anything that’ll make her think you think you’re better than her. She’s real competitive, and she absolutely is smarter than you. She won’t say anything up front, but test her too much and she’ll work out some way or another to make you take it back.”

Eddie zoned the two out as they started bickering about something or another. He began to rearrange all of his thoughts about her to fit with these new details. He had to admit, it intrigued him; he never would have gotten any of that just from observing her. And that she knew the kids, that she babysat Dustin…

“Hey, wait,” Eddie burst out, stopping the kids’ argument in its tracks. “Where is Henderson, anyway?”

“He was asking his science teacher about something,” Mike answered. “It’ll probably take a while, but he should be here soon.”

At that, they all saw Dustin start jogging into the cafeteria, clearly excited by whatever it was he was planning. Not looking where he was going, he bumped right into Jason Carver. Eddie winced as Jason turned to the younger boy.

“Hey, watch where you’re going, little nerd,” Jason scowled menacingly.

“Sorry, but you were in the way, and I was just-” Dustin rushed out all at once. Jason grabbed the front of his shirt.

“I was in the way, was I?” Eddie could see Dustin gulp from across the cafeteria. "Well listen here, toothless-”

“Hey!” an unfamiliar voice spoke up. It seemed light, like a fairy’s, but it was loud. The entire cafeteria quietened down, and Eddie was shocked to see that the voice came from Y/n.

“Leave him alone, Carver.” Y/n’s voice was unshaking. Eddie wouldn’t have realised that he had never seen her talk to anyone based on the way she was acting.

Jason turned to look at her, his hand still gripping onto Dustin. “Oh yeah?” he chuckled. “Or what? What are you going to do about it, Y/l/n?”

Eddie saw your shoulders rise and fall in a silent sigh before you slammed your book shut with a bang. He gasped and people started murmuring as she pulled out her chair and used it to climb up onto the cafeteria table. Eddie had done that exact thing a hundred times before, but you… you were almost elegant as you silently walked all the way down the length of the table to reach Jason, leant down to look him in the eyes with one hand in your pocket and the other curled around your reading material.

“You may not have noticed, Jason,” you began, making direct eye contact with the jock, “because I prefer to observe than to be an absolute jackass, but we grew up together. I was here for everything, all those awkward stages, when you were the shortest in the class, when you were trying to grow in that pre-teen moustache. And, well, I’ve certainly heard enough from the girls around here about Little Jason and his,” you looked down, grimacing, before looking into his eyes again, “limitations.”

Jason tried valiantly to hold eye contact with you and keep his posture arrogant, but Eddie could tell he was beginning to feel very uncomfortable. Everyone could.

You continued. “And I know exactly what to say to destroy you. I know you. I know that you are a pathetic little boy,” you leaned in closer with each word, “who can’t help himself from picking on the weakest and who wouldn’t be passing half his classes if this school’s faculty didn’t care so much about,” you paused and looked at Eddie. His chest grew warm. “Tossing balls into laundry baskets.”

“You- “Jason protested, but you cut him off.

“As for what I’ll do… Have you ever read War and Peace, Carver?” You held out the book you were still clutching so that Jason could read the title. He shook his head. “It’s quite long, and it can get slow in parts, but I’d recommend it. The best thing about it though, is that it’s heavy enough that if you fuck with Dustin again, I will smash your goddamn teeth in so far back that they will lodge into whatever walnut it is you call a brain.”

You jumped down off the table in front of him, gently grasped his hand and pried it off of Dustin’s shirt. “You alright, Dusty?”

Dustin nodded. “Yeah, thanks Y/n.”

You smiled and ruffled his hair before looking up at everyone. “What are you all staring at?”

And just like that, everyone went back to their lunches and their conversations. You walked back over to your seat, leaving Jason Carver behind you, and began to read again. Eddie was still looking at you when Dustin sat down next to him.

“Did you guys see that?” Dustin asked his friends loudly. “So badass.”

Mike and Lucas agreed as Dustin looked over at Eddie. “Dude, are you okay?”

Eddie took a shaky breath. “One day,” he said lowly, “one day I’m going to marry that woman.”

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