ryloriee678999 - Tumblr blog

ryloriee678999 · 1 year

Text

Troubled Paradise (Wanda Maximoff x Reader)

Summary: After Wanda leaves you, you still have questions.

Warnings: angst, post-breakup, mentions of Wanda x Vision, arguing.

Every Time you saw her face, you felt a feeling you couldn't erase. You weren't sure if it was sadness or hate but it dug deep down in your chest at the thought of her.

The day Wanda told you that this relationship couldn’t work was the day everything started getting worse.

You knew Wanda was formerly married to an Avenger, you knew he had died and you knew about Westview. You helped her move on but moving on was hard especially when Vision came back. Suddenly the woman you were seeing had her husband again. Both of you were shocked but what shocked you more was that she picked him. Wanda broke it off with you explaining how she didn’t want to leave but had to. You were confused and sad but she didn’t give you much time to say what you wanted before she left crying.

It felt like your heart was broken but to make things worse, Wanda was throwing it in your face that you’d been replaced by Vision. You seethed every time Wanda talked about him around people. She spoke on and on about how he’s so amazing and does the sweetest things for her. When you saw them being affectionate you wanted to cry. She never did those things with you around others, she never spoke about you the way she spoke about Vision. It stung deeply in your chest being in the same building together knowing they’re happy. In your eyes she was so happy it didn't even seem like you two broke up. Whenever you’d been forced to be in the same room with her, she treated you like nothing ever happened. She waved and smiled and sometimes even talked to you about whatever topic the others were on. She didn't even see how much it hurt just speaking to you.

At night you thought about all the things you wanted to tell her. Your feelings felt suffocating and the urge to speak to Wanda only got stronger the more you kept thinking. It only took you a week after Wanda left you to finally reach your limit.

Quickly you tore off your blanket and threw on a zip-up hoodie. Looking at the time there was a possibility Wanda was in the kitchen so that’s where you went first.

As you walked closer, you could hear quiet humming coming from the woman. You knew she was in there but peeked in to check if anyone else was. At the sight of Wanda making tea alone, you walked in.

Wanda turned around when she heard your footsteps. She smiled slightly when you met eyes, “Hi,” she greeted.

“I need to talk to you,” you told her immediately.

Wanda looked up from her glass momentarily before continuing to stir her drink. “About what?” She questioned. Wanda already knew what it was about based on your composure but she tried ignoring it.

Right away you started. All the thoughts you had been thinking ever since the breakup spilt out of your mouth. “You just broke up with me without letting me have a say in anything. I know I can’t force you to be with me but can you at least think about someone else but yourself for once? I have feelings too, I don’t think you know that or you do and just don’t care, but I do.” You had rehearsed the lines in bed because you knew the moment you came up to her you would start to cry.

After a pause Wanda finally put down her drink and faced you. “Are we going to talk or are you going to keep yelling at me?” She asked patiently. You saw on Wanda’s face that she looked nervous but you didn't care as the tears that prickled at the side of your eyes started to fall.

“I have questions,” you said.

Wanda nodded knowingly, “Okay.”

“Tell me the truth, did you love me back?” You spoke slowly in order to keep your voice from wavering but it was getting harder to control. Instead of being angry like you wanted Wanda to see, all she could see was how badly her actions affected you. The guilt Wanda felt beforehand only increased due to your question. She was hurt you’d ask such a thing but she responded without hesitation. “Of course I did, I love you so much—“ she started.

“Are you happy?” you asked before she could finish.

“No.” She responded simply, not knowing if she should speak or not.

“Really? Because I see you so cheerful every day. You look so happy around everyone and I’m left to think ‘Why am I the only one hurt? Why don't you feel the same? Why do you look so much happier with him?”

Wanda couldn’t admit out loud that she wished it was different or that when she looked at him, all she was reminded of was you. You were speaking too fast for Wanda to find the right explanation so she waited until you were done.

“You don't love me, you don’t care. You got rid of me the second he showed up! What even was I to you? Someone to keep you company while you waited for him to come back?” Your rambling became incoherent as you began to cry. “I'm so angry at myself for letting this happen when I knew it was a bad idea. I knew it wouldn’t work– I knew it.”

Small whimpers left your mouth as you avoided eye contact, you hugged your arms to your chest and sniffled a few times. When it seemed you calmed down Wanda stepped forward. You felt her arms pull you into a hug but did nothing to stop it. All you could do was stand there slightly shaking as her warmth wrapped around you.

“You may regret this relationship but I don’t and I never will,” she said softly. “I want to be with you but It’s complicated, I’m married, I have- had kids with him.”

Wanda sighed into your hair as she tightened her hold. “I’m so sorry.”

At the moment you couldn’t feel bad for her. Your emotions only got stronger at her pathetic explanation. The way she hugged you and assured along with an excuse just made you angry. Suddenly you cleared your voice so she could hear your next words carefully. “Wanda?” You whispered as you looked up at her. She pulled back slightly to wipe the tears from your cheeks, “yes?” she replied in the same soft voice.

“Don’t bring me into your marriage again.”

393 notes · View notes

ryloriee678999 · 1 year

Text

Hiii! I wrote another angsty Wanda x reader one shot 🕺 should be posted tdy. Sorry if I’m a lil rusty lol but I had fun writing it.

7 notes · View notes

ryloriee678999 · 1 year

Note

wait we had the same birthday ? HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

YOU TOO!!! dec 24th <3

0 notes

ryloriee678999 · 1 year

Note

HAPPY BIRTHDAAAY

THANK YOU!!!!! <3 I hope u have an amazing day <3

2 notes · View notes

ryloriee678999 · 1 year

Note

Hi! I know you’re no longer active but I just wanted to tell you how much your writing has done for me. Thank you for having this acc and writing those fics! I hope you stay safe and have a happy holiday <3

omg right on my birthday!??? awww ur so sweet :) I've been writing my own novel lately (non marvel related) but I think its time i remove the inactive part in my bio since I've been thinking of writing fanfiction again. YOU have a great holiday annon! it really makes me smile getting notes like these- kicking my feet n giggling rn <3

#ryloriee678999 #hehe im thankful

0 notes

ryloriee678999 · 1 year

Text

700 ppl <3

mwah thanks guys even tho im not active!

6 notes · View notes

ryloriee678999 · 2 years

Text

I think I’m done writing for now :) I have gotten busy and stuff but maybe when things r more calm I’ll write some things again. Likes, reblogs, and comments are still greatly appreciated and I look at each one. dms are open as always too. thx thx for the awesome time ily <33 -Sandy

6 notes · View notes

ryloriee678999 · 2 years

Text

Waaaa i have no ideas helpp

5 notes · View notes

ryloriee678999 · 2 years

Text

You Have Guilt For Your Mistakes (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Summary: Reader can’t deal with trauma anymore after a mission. (1800 words)

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, arguing, angst, PTSD, mentions of medication, implied suicide, unhappy ending.

A/N: Inspo from Drunk by Dayseeker. All my friends said it was too sad to post but I enjoyed writing it a lot.

You felt yourself break after the mission. People died due to your mistakes, mistakes that could have easily been avoided if you were more careful. It was becoming too much to think about, and your girlfriend knew that. She was there for you, she saw what it did to you but what she didn't see was how deep it went.

On Friday, after work, you decided to drink just to take the edge off. Then the same thing happened on Saturday, and then Sunday and quickly it became every day. On days you didn't have work you’d start right when you woke up, and on days you had work it would be right after. You were thankful Natasha was out of the country while this all happened. You missed her when she went on missions, but you dreaded her coming back because you knew you’d have to stop.

It was working at first, you forgot all about the dead bodies, destruction, and what you did. Alcohol took everything off your mind, and it was truly helping better than any therapy could. But one day you saw the bodies not only in your mind but on your bedroom floor. It was psychosis, you knew it wasn't real, but it was enough to throw you into a spiral.

You needed more because nothing was enough anymore. You had no joy in working and the only time you felt okay was when you poured yourself more than a few glasses after work. So, the most reasonable solution for this was to drink at work. Perhaps you weren't sober when you came up with it, but the next day you still carried out the plan.

Most of the time you spent at work was slouched in your office chair staring at the things you should be completing. After your last mission, you were taken off due to carelessness and the emotional state you were in after. Paperwork all day was as boring as it sounds.

You persisted like this until one day things became present to others. You slipped up and Wanda found you. You actually slipped up, as in you were stumbling through the hallways and about to fall when Wanda caught you.

“Hey,” you greeted in surprise. Your hands still on her shoulders and your entire weight on her. Wanda frowned when you spoke, but you didn't know why.

Her eyebrows furrow, “Have you been drinking?” She questioned. Right away you cover your mouth with one of your hands in an attempt to smell your breath. “No,” you say, muffled through your hand.

The witch stared at you for a moment, scanning your body to see if anything was wrong. You didn't look like how you usually did. Her worried expression made you start laughing loudly and a huge grin appeared on your face. “Gosh Wanda, you should see your face right now, you look so concerned.”

Some of your words came out slurred and that was enough evidence for Wanda to grab onto your sleeve to start dragging you. “I’m taking you to your room,” she said sternly. You looked at her face as you two walked, she looked angry. She was angry at you for the first time ever and it made all the terrible feelings come back.

She pushed you forward, not hard enough for you to fall, but enough to get your legs moving in the right direction. “Don't tell Nat,” you beg when you are at the door, you slid down it, finding comfort on the dirty floor.

“I won't,” she tells you then unlocks your door.

Almost five minutes later, you settle in bed with a glass of water courtesy of Wanda. You drift off to sleep as she sits in your living room with her phone settled to her ear.

When you woke up, Wanda was gone and you were free to do whatever. You mostly forgot about what happened but you knew there would be consequences after she saw you like that. The anxiety of what was going to happen filled your body and you wanted to feel better. So routinely you grabbed a bottle, any bottle you could find in your room and drank large gulps of it. The taste was absolutely disgusting, but it wasn't as bad when you first had it. You sat there and waited for it to hit you, and when it did, it hit you hard.

You were so out of it that you didn't even hear the sound of your door opening and the metal clang of keys falling on the counter beside your bed.

“Love?” you hear a voice call out. You turn around to see your girlfriend slowly approaching you.

You were too drunk to panic, all you could do was act as sober as you could. “Hey Natty, I didn't know you’d be home today.”

Okay, you weren't the best actor but the thing that gave it away was the empty glass bottle on the ground. Her eyes landed on it.

“Were you drinking?” She asks, still staring at the bottle and picking it up so she could read the label.

You look away from her, the lie rolled off your tongue so easily. “No,” you answered.

“Are you seriously drunk right now? I thought Wanda was kidding when she told me.”

“Wanda told you? That bitch,” you almost yell, emphasizing the word bitch. You would have gotten up and hunted Wanda down but Natasha restricted you the moment you tried standing up.

Natasha sighs seeing you like this and saying things you would never say sober. “This isn't like you.”

“Maybe it is, you don't know, you’ve been gone for so long.” Two weeks to be exact. This has been going on for two weeks.

“Is this about the mission? What’s making you like this, baby?”

You roll your eyes at the mention of what happened. She always had to bring it up, and you were getting fed up with it. “It’s not that, it's not the mission, this has nothing to do with it,” you lie.

“Then why are you drinking if not that? Is there something else?” She said, almost as if she was interrogating you.

“I coped with the mission, Natasha, I’m over it, I've been over it for a while now.”

Her arms crossed and the look on her face was as exhausted as you were. You almost felt bad that she had to come home to this, but in this state, you couldn't care. “Okay, then tell me how you coped with it, because if it isn't drinking then I don't know what else you could possibly be doing.”

“I dealt with it, okay? I cried every night, and you were there. You helped me through it, so I'm fine now.”

“Did you take your meds while I was gone? Did you sleep enough? Did someone do something?” She asks almost randomly. “If I have to keep guessing I will.”

“Stop with the fucking pill thing, Natasha! No, nothing will repair this,” you shouted.

So it was about the mission, Natasha thought. She knew she shouldn't have left, but you were so convincing. “I have loved and lost, I know how it feels to want to push it all away. But you can't expect to get better this way. And I know you’re hurting but you can't yell at me like this, and you definitely can't keep drinking.”

“Why not? I’m not hurting anyone.” You knew that was false, but maybe if you could hide it better it would be true.

Natasha felt tears start escaping from her eyes because it was hurting her, and it hurt even more to see that you couldn't realize that. You weren't yourself, you were in denial and pain. She grabbed your hand, holding it tightly as she sat on the bed next to you. “I'm going to lose you to alcohol poisoning, baby.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” you whisper. “I can't hurt anyone that way.”

“Don't say that..”

You finally looked her in the eye, seeing your girlfriend with tears streaming down her face made everything stop. For once, you found yourself not yelling. “Why not?” You responded, it was barely audible but Natasha understood.

“We all make mistakes, we just have to learn from them. You did more good than bad, so stop– please stop blaming yourself. “

You wanted to respond and accept her words but you couldn't. It felt like she was lying to you about all these things. It was almost impossible to stop blaming yourself, nothing Natasha could say would stop that. So you shrug in response and lay down, suddenly feeling exhausted, or maybe you were passing out, you couldn't really tell the difference.

You shut your eyes and the last thing you heard was Natasha saying that it was okay.

The next day, you woke up covered in cold sweats and your head pounding. You felt as if you moved even one inch, you might throw up. Beside you was Natasha, she was awake all night watching you in case something would happen in your sleep. She continued to be by your side from then on.

Natasha canceled all plans, all her missions, just to be with you. She made sure you were sober, making sure the only thing you drank was water. She eventually got you to stop completely and to cope better.

Everything was starting to feel good… until it didn't. The moment you got the chance to go on missions again, you decided to fix this once in for all. No more drinking, no more coping, and no more putting the burden on Natasha.

Natasha smiles as she helps you put your gear on. She attaches a belt around your waist and adds her own gun to the holster. It felt suffocating just wearing your uniform. No matter how many times you washed it the scent was still there. For a second you stood there, arms gripping the fabric at your shoulders looking at yourself in the mirror.

Your girlfriend noticed and she moved behind you and wrapped her arms around your waist. “Are you sure you want to do this?” She asked as she looked at you in the mirror.

You nod reassuringly, “I’m ready, really.”

Natasha still looks worried but you turn around to face her. “Don't worry, I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Okay, but promise me you’ll be back by tomorrow.”

This was starting to hurt.

You loved the people around you so much that it was unbearable. It pained you to know you’d miss out on so many things. After this, there wouldn't be any more late movie nights, sleepy mornings with Natasha by your side, or parties that you secretly loved. Your whole future would be gone in an instant and their love wasn't enough to keep you here.

It was almost enough to change your mind, but before you could, you reminded yourself it was what you deserved. After failing to save people's lives, it would be only fair to do the same to yours.

You swallow harshly as it feels like something is stuck in your throat. “I promise.” You could barely respond, you hated how hard this was. You feel your eyes start stinging so you squeeze her into a hug to hide your expression.

“I love you,” you mumble into her hair. Natasha stood still as she thought if this was really a good idea. All seemed well, you were doing much better and itching to get back there. But there was this feeling she couldn't shake. “I love you too,” she responded and tightened the hug.

When you broke apart, she kissed your cheek and you promised her that it would be okay. She saw you off and you left. What Natasha missed was your tears when you turned around.

348 notes · View notes

ryloriee678999 · 2 years

Text

Thx for 600 followers ❤️❤️❤️ y’all r so cool fr I appreciate it a lot.

#idk why i have this gif

5 notes · View notes

ryloriee678999 · 2 years

Text

I have a wip that I really want to get right. Id like some feedback so if someone can DM me I would love to hear how I can make it better.

3 notes · View notes

ryloriee678999 · 2 years

Text

Where’d You Go? (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Summary: You don’t get much sleep when Natasha’s away. (700 words)

Warnings: I’m not sure if there are any, please let me know.

A/N: Sorry that this is so short. I got so many wips to be posted hopefully soon.

It was about 1 am and Natasha wasn't in bed. This normally occurred so you weren't worried, she was probably working or training. You watch the clock tick and change numbers slowly while waiting for Natasha to come to bed. When she never came, you got up to search for her.

You went to where you saw her last. After dinner, she went straight to her office and started working on something. The bright light in her office was enough to tell you that she was still there.

Natasha barely looks up when you knock on her door. You walk closer, hovering over her and watching her finish reports. You rested your head on hers, her touch made you feel like you could pass out at any moment. “It’s a bit late to be working,” you say after a yawn comes out of your mouth.

Her hands never stopped writing as she responded. “I can’t talk right now,” Natasha sighed. “I need to finish this today.”

You pouted but Natasha couldn't see. Instead, you moved from behind her and hopped onto her desk. “When are you coming to bed?” You asked. Natasha didn't respond.

A minute later Natasha finally said something and tore her eyes off the paper. She flashed you a guilty smile, "You can go to bed, I'll come when I'm done."

You didn't like her response. You wouldn't be able to go to bed, but Natasha didn't know that. Feeling desperate, you reach to take her pen.

Natasha huffs and continues looking at the document as if she's still writing on it. “Babe,” she sighed, “give it back.”

"Natasha," you mocked. “No.”

Natasha rubbed her eyes and stretched her arms out. "Fine," She grumbled and grabbed the papers.

"What are you doing?" You asked and slid off the desk.

Wordlessly, Natasha started heading towards your room. You figured she would finish her work in bed which was better but still wasn't ideal. You watched her get into bed and start working again. The urge to grab the work out of her hand was tempting but you needed her to stay.

"Come on, put that down," you try convincing her. You lift up the blanket and get underneath along with her. Your hand reaches for the document but Natasha gently slaps it away.

"I need to finish this," Natasha replied. You finally gave in and turned around so that you were facing the wall. Everything felt uncomfortable. The blanket felt heavy against your body and the sound of her writing filled the room.

As Natasha worked, she glanced at you often to make sure you were okay. She felt guilty about not being with you for the past few days, so she decided tomorrow things would be different.

An hour passed and Natasha was finally done with everything. She rolled off the bed to turn off the lights but when she turned around, your tired eyes stared right at her.

“I thought you were asleep,” Natasha said. She quickly became worried about the way your eyes were so red. She turned off the lights and hurried back to bed.

"I can't sleep without you," you replied tiredly. Even though Natasha was technically with you, it was like she wasn't. You found that sleeping came easier if you were in her arms or if she was asleep too.

You could feel Natasha staring at you. "Even when I go away?" Natasha asked, her voice weary.

You nodded and closed your eyes once you felt Natasha move closer. It felt so good to finally be able to sleep. You wanted to dig your eyes out this week because of the constant stinging but the relief was finally here.

"I just like it when you are next to me," you confess quietly since you were on the verge of passing out.

Natasha shook her head in disapproval. "But I was gone for 3 days this week."

"I know," you whispered. Those were a long 3 days and you were so tired by the end of it. Though that wasn't the longest you’ve gone, you hated when Natasha was gone for weeks on end. The only sleep you got was when your body forced you to shut down.

Natasha bit her lip, she felt so bad. It wasn't her fault you and she knew that, she just wished things were different. “Come here,” she said and pulled you into her arms. You turned around so that you faced her, a small smile appearing on your face. “Let's sleep now.”

551 notes · View notes